#am i really gonna get better? idk. i dont wanna think about it
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the art of pushing it back. the art of holding it in, keeping it away. the art of repression
#they call me the. something wrong with that boy that he dont wanna talk about at all#i feel like when you shake a soda sometimes#but. nah. id win#i wish my head wasnt so loud. why am i so irritable now? when its active?#its meant to be active. it was designed that way so... why do i feel so annoyed with it?#i feel guilty for it. its not their fault or mine. i know im selfish#sorry guys. is apologizing even worth it#am i really gonna get better? idk. i dont wanna think about it#im gonna go take a nap ✌ further silence. nothing is ever solved. only pushed away#good
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#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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OK WAIT here's a ITNL chapter 14 section that's not really spoilers. just a sweet lil section
after this is where it's more Spoilers. but for now. HERE U go. happy birthday vash & also Uhhhh @ ITNL readers I PROMISE i am working on the chapter. things r just hard lol
#speculation nation#itnl shit#spoilers bc of uhh. Conversation. i wanna keep the conversation a secret for now lol#not bad spoilers it's just better digested as a whole probably#ANYWAYS heres some more vash & kaite bro time. god im gonna miss kaite when we gotta say goodbye to him#but he's still here for now and he gets to watch vash tinker with his (very internally fried) arm#before and after this section is vash inspecting the damages & thinking of what he can do to try to fix it#which i do have a lot written. but im gonna be going thru it for accuracy & also keeping in mind the thing from earlier#the possibility that average operational power of his arm comes from vash himself rather than extra batteries#this is with the assumption that a (relatively) small output of electricity is not smth that would fuck with his lifespan#just a normal expenditure of energy. like moving his flesh muscles. just a constant lil stream of electricity that he gets from eating & w/#no need to dip into his life reserves for it. bc if he did that would get impractical.#idk im going to think about it more. i really dont Need to figure out how his arm works#but listen. ive built a robot before. im in polytech. i wanna think about wtf his arm actually Is#even if this is coming in the context of all the internal wires being blown & a bunch of shit straight up Melted#his arm is... very very blown... he's gonna be going one-arm for a While still lmao. oh well#i think it's a good thing to remember that he is in fact physically disabled. he can make up for it Especially in a fight#but it still will inconvenience him in a lot of ways. cool biotech arm is cool but also it's nice to remember that he Is physically disable#and so i am embracing it. he's tinkering with his arm in his free time but if he has to spend weeks (or months) w/o his prosthetic#well that's just the reality he's gotta live#anywyas. Here u go. snippet. that's a few hundred words so idk if this counts as a snippet but im calling it a snippet. Here You Go
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well i think its finally time to open this box
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#sorry gang apparently i am incapable of sticking to my word and am continuing to have a personality on main and subject you all#to all of my bullshit#i am doing my best but i am a weak bitch who does not know how to process feelings#so its a fucking miracle im opening this box tbh. ive wavered a lot around this one#this round of thinking is being brought on by the probable imminent break up between me + my gf 🙃👍#its been on the cards for a hot minute i mean. she hasnt sent me a message since the 8th of march until today and its like a.#we need to talk message so. like im not surprised. ans ive been thinking about it all a lot recently#i dont really want to realise im aro while im with someone so ive been avoiding it but like. ive been thinking. and ive been thinking if we#shouod break up too anyway because like. i get i am so hard to be around. but nothing. for a month. even a silly picture. it hurts dude#but i kinda didn't want to push because. i know i am. me. and a lot. and i know shes got stuff on her plate. but so do i#maybe we're both no good#to be around#nyxtalks#this is very not helpful in my whole. everyone i love leaves me eventually so i should isolate myself and push them all away thing i guess#but i dont think. i want to cling. i dont wanna be that pathetic.#she can do better than me (i cant do better than her)#i mean. idk ive been questioning if im aro anyway so. idk#i dont fucking know#honestly this is gonna be so cringe if this isnt what she wanted to talk about but like. what else could it possibly be i guess#dude i am so sorry if you read this this turned into relationship vent rather than my feelings around aromanticism#those are.complicated enough for their own post and i probably need to talk to some actual aromantic people about that
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#idk if i burned myself out finally or what this is but im just sad and upset that writing isnt all of a sudden working out for me#like i get it not everything can be a certified banger but ive felt that the last few just. havent been that good in general?#i just miss feeling good about writing stuff. i miss enjoying it. i mean i am but. also i dont think i am. i dont know#im just. afraid. last time i lost my will to write it took almost two years to fully get it back#and now its last for a good few months without much of issues until now#im probably just over dramatic and over thinking it but just. i dont want to lose this. but recently everything ive tried to do feels just#like a chore. and that its not good enough. and that it sucks. and that i suck#i dont wanna feel that. this isnt great. nothings great everything sucks#im just gonna try to sleep. not that its gonna change anything but maybe i'll feel at least a little better. doubt it but yeah#whatever really#night is an absolute mess on main
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Ooooooghhhhhhhhh stressed 🥺
#dont wanna see family tomorrow and im sleeping saur bad lately i couldnt sleep last night and then had a typical fever dream#which gave me a really cute idea for a movie so im gonna keep it in my pocket#but it was one of those things where its like it says a whole lot about me and my trauma and its stressful#um um um and also im juggling all these different things like im sewing im trying to finally write im trying to draw again#while feeling like im failing at it all and then like i still gotta find fuckinnnnn job i neeeeeed money#this time of year is always really hard for me i hate when its warm again i hate easter and i hate knowing that summer is coming#aaghhhh rn im ticking and stimming really bad and im having trouble breathing hnnghhh#and im very sweaty lol i always get so sweaty when i dont sleep good i dont get it#also i think im just horrible like the one person i wanna talk to probably is getting tired of my constant life crisis and how needy i am#and theyre probably off being better without me there and im just a burden and then my therapist idk about him#i dont feel like hes really giving me anything like when i talk about how stressed and unsafe i am hes like you gotta find a way to cope#and he doesnt really tell me how exactly i should do that like mate thats why im here i need the help you cant just listen to me panic and#go ‘wow you need to fix that’ ughhhh and i think hes mad at me because i dont think he believes me anymore when i say im in an abusive#situation and that ive been controlled my whole life by everyone and i have never felt safe#and its just like ughhh like i feel like no one believes me anymore and theyre all fed up with my bullshit incompetence and constant#bellyaching and im a horrible friend and a liar and probably just being dramatic as fuck making myself believe im being abused when in#reality im the abuser the ungrateful brat who treats his family like shit and cant trust them even though they seem so perfect to everyone#and im so stupid and toxic for trying to run away and for being scared to death here#thats how its feeling anyway idk everyone is just. weird and im losing my grip on reality and cant tell whats real anymore
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pairing: steve rogers x male reader
request: Captain America falls in love with his fellow big bubble butt Twunk male reader avenger. Steve asked him on a date which leads to Steve and male reader losing their virginity on the first date; which eventually has them both in a long term married life full of happiness, love, and hot steamy sex with the super soldier with his big hung 🍆 and a twunk with the big 🍑.
warnings: smut, both of you are virgins, cursing, and fluff
a/n: idk how I feel about this one, it feels a lil iffy
you had just gotten back from your most recent mission where you had to stop some robbers from getting away with some stolen bank money with steve and lets just say it wasn't the easiest thing ever as it seemed like steve was occupied thinking on something else "hey what was that out there you seemed preoccupied" you say playfully nudging him "oh it was nothing just thinking" he stammers trying to avoid eye contact with you "well leave the thinking for off the field" you chuckle "yeah" he smiles.
just before you get out the door steve calls out "hey y/n would you wanna go out to dinner sometimes" he asks nervously "are you asking me on a date rogers" you ask with a grin "yeah i guess i a-" he says before getting cut off by the feeling of you kissing his cheek "well than its a date" you say smiling before walking away as steve stands there as his heart is pounding so hard it feels like it gonna burst out his chest.
you meet steve at a fancy restaurant and you guys find a table "I just wanna say you look amazing" he says "well thank you I'd say you look rather dashing yourself" you chuckle "thanks" steve says, you order your food and it soon comes out "wow this looks amazing, how did you even manage to book a place like this I heard they always have a full house" you inquire "compliments to tony he pulled a couple of strings" he says "I'll be sure to say thanks".
after finishing dinner you both walk down the street talking about the latest drama in the avengers compound "hey do you wanna go back to my place" you ask him "y- yeah I would love to" steve stammers at the sudden question before you grab steves hand and playfully run to your apartment, when you get to your apartment you show a nervous steve around.
"sorry it's a little messy I haven't been here in a while" you laugh throwing away done trash that was on your counter and kicking some clothes out the way "oh dont worry my place doesn't look any better" he says looking for some place to sit "oh yeah you can sit on the couch" you say moving some junk off the couch before sitting down on it with steve.
"I really enjoyed tonight" steve says with the biggest smile on his face "I did too" you say admiring steve, after a few seconds of silence steve leans in and kisses you before jumping back just as quickly "I'm sorry I didn't mean too do that" he tries to quickly apologize "don't be sorry I liked it" you say moving onto steves lap and kissing him deeper than before, his hands move to you back holding it firmly.
"should we" you trail off "I'm okay with it if you are" steve says with a bigger smile than before him now about to sleep with his first and best of all his crush "I am" you say taking your shirt off leaving your torso exposed for steve, he feels up and down your body watching how your nipples perk up with each light touch from his digits "you okay there big boy" you chuckle "y-yeah just new to this whole thing" steve says still amazed by your body.
"don't worry it's my first time too" you reassure "really" steve says, on the outside he seemed calm but on the inside he was freaking out at the feeling knowing he was gonna be your first and you were gonna be his first "you wanna take this off" you ask tugging at the hem of his shirt, he quickly obliges and takes off his shirt his broad body now on full display for you.
you run your fingers along his chest, tracing random shapes and admiring his figure "you wanna maybe do it" steve nervously asks "id be happy to" you say getting up and putting on a mini show for steve, stripping off your pants and underwear in an erotic way, you watch as steve follows every one of your movements with his eyes his cock now begging to be let out of its confines.
"how about we get these off of you" you say pulling steves pants off and watching his dick jump out and stand up straight resembling the american flag "I didn't expect you to have a dick like this" you say stunned by the mans large dick "well the super soldier serum enhanced some other things to" steve chuckles "well either way it still looks delicious" you say licking his tip slowly watching him shudder under your touch.
"how are you so good at that" steve asks trying to avoid your seductive gaze "I don't know maybe I just learned it" you say licking his slit, "I bet your bussy feels better" steve says choking down a moan "what" you say holding back a laugh "what" he says innocently "did you just say bussy" you ask almost laughing "what I heard it off porn" he says shrugging his shoulders "yeah you're in desperate need of some hole it seems" you say straddling his bare lap.
steves breath hitches in his throat at the bare feeling "can I kiss you" steve asks trying to control his breathing "you don't have to ask me steve" you say pulling him into a kiss "I wanna feel you" steve begs "okay okay" you chuckle before smearing some saliva on his dick "okay three, two, one" you cut down before sinking onto his dick slowly with a moan.
steves hands quickly find their way to your hips and tightly hold them in place, you sit there for a couple seconds and get used to his large size before looking at him with a "are you okay" look and he replies with a nod, you lift up and sink back down in a rhythm with steve groaning at each move, "I feel like I'm gonna cum already" he says with tightly shut eyes before throwing his head back.
"me too" you moan, your moan brings steves head back up to watch you moan all over him, a dream he's jerked off to multiple times in one day "never did I think id have this chance with you" steve scoffs "well here I am now" you kiss steve before moaning into his mouth as you sink down again "fuck" you huff before cumming all over steves stomach him watching in full awe.
"nghhh" he moans next as he cums in you, his teeth tightened together and eyes shut as his hips erratically thrust upwards trying to ride out his high, after a few more seconds steve finishes and lets out a long breathy huff "fuck that was good" you say dropping your head on his shoulder "sorry for cumming so fast" steve sweetly apologizes "you're good you felt to good" you say "well thank you" he smiles.
it may have only been the first date but steve already wanted to marry you he thought of this so hard he didn't even realize he was staring at you "earth to steve, you okay" you ask with a chuckle "yeah just thinking" he reassures with a smile "you sure do think a lot" you say laying your head back down on his chest "you have no idea" Steve says.
#steve rogers#steve rogers x male reader#captain america#x male smut#x male reader#gay smut#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x you#steve rogers x y/n
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billie x VS angel HC ?
- Thank you 💖
Billie x Victoria Secret Angel Head canons !!
Authors note: to the anon who requested this i NEED to know who you are because i am OBSESSED with the idea of this. i might even make a full fic inspired this soo stay tuned for that (maybe idk i lie a lot LMAO)
Warnings: not proof read
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swf :
GETTING BOOKED FOR THE SHOW:
when you find out that your gonna have a runway show coming up in a few months you immediately get into that mindset
even though your excited you start worrying a lot more and becoming overwhelmed and stressed
you start stressing out a lot about working out and your appearance and making sure your fit in time for the runway
billie notices and sees how much your over working yourself and assures you that you dont need to stress
"what are you doing?" billie asks you as she stands by your door. your currently laying down in a starfish position on your wooden floor, face pouring sweat and your cheeks flushed red.
"im getting ready for the runway, you know this." you remind her. "the runway isnt until 2 months from now?" billies eyebrows furrow in confusion as she begans to enter the room more. you sigh, "i know but all the other girls have such pretty fit bodies and i wanna be prepared in advance. i wanna look like them." you tell your girlfriend. you look up at her with pleading eyes. billie looks down at you softly.
she sits down next to you, "baby what? your the prettiest girl on that entire runway. the other girls probably worry about looking like you. stop stressing about this you look absolutely gorgeous the way you are."
billies always constantly assuring you that you look gorgeous and especially even more gorgeous than all the other models (because she genuinely thinks that)
RIGHT BEFORE THE SHOW:
billie always comes to your shows and you even sneak her backstage all the time so she can watch you get ready for the show
you always make sure billie gets front row seats to your shows so she can see you better
billie always makes you matcha tea right before your shows
she watches you as you get your makeup and hair done. taking in how beautiful you truly are.
when shes backstage you make sure to keep your robe on tight so she doesnt get a sneak peak at your outfit until your out on the runway
THE SHOW:
billie obviously is only there for you so when the other girls come out she's usually very bored and looks extremely uninterested
when you come out she can finally see what was under your robe the whole time. shes taken aback. completely in awe. starring at you with blown out pupils. thinking to herself "how did i get so lucky?"
you make sure to make direct eye contact with her when you come out. giving her an ever so slight smirk and looking away. posing in very seductive poses for the show, but also for your girlfriend
she always take photos of you with her phone when your on the runway. if the show yall are at doesnt allow phones she will sneakily get photos of you anyways
AFTER THE SHOW:
billie always tries to get you some type of gift after all your shows. usually containing a bouquet of flowers and your favorite drink/snack
after the show you immediately run to her and try to find her. once you do you run into her arms and give her a huge hug
she absolutely praises the FUCK out of you
"baby you looked SO good out there holy shit"
"really?"
"absolutely."
she tells her all about her favorite looks with you and her favorite things about what you did
nsfw :
when billie sees you out on the runway in you revealing clothes it gets her hot. immediately feelings herself clench her thighs together for some type of relief
all she can think about is how good youd look like that in her room together alone
or she thinks about how good id look on her bedroom floor..
in the car ride home she has her hands rubbing on your thigh. wanting to just take you there in the car but patiently keeping it together.
the second yall get home (or to the hotel) after your shows, billies hands are all over you.
you always wear your runway looks under your clothes home so when you get home you can give billie her own show.
once she starts tearing your clothes off and realizes you still have your runway lingerie on she gets super happy
"god, you looks so hot on stage in this.. even hotter right now for me."
she usually just ends up fucking you in the lingerie. its too hot not to for her
she always makes sure to call you her little "angel"
you'd pretend like you hated it but deep down you absolutely loved it
once yall are finished she always tells you "you have to wear this again for me, you look so good baby."
and you always keep that in mind for the future
TAGLIST (dm,inbox,or comment to be added!) : @muchloveforhacker @chrissv4mp @mseilishmwah @chrissfawn @dev-sturns
#̊+·❥ MAL WRITES !#billie eilish#victoria secret#billie eilish smut#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish head canons#billie eilish fanfic#billie eilish fic#hit me hard and soft#hmhas#hte#happier than ever#wwafawdwg
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i dont even know how to ask this because i just want one thing well two actually u change my mind alastor without his jacket all messy like (you know what i mean) AND HIS HAIR UP IN A LITTLE PONYTAIL OR BUN IDC IDK ITS JUST UP AND IM DROOLING
Im gonna eat you
Pairing: Alastor x F!reader
Warnings: the only warning is the fact that i wrote this at 3 am so enough said.. but also there lowkey really horny...
Wordcount: 524
Note: Eveytime i see art of this man with his hair up lord have mercy.. id devour him actually.
You have known Alastor for a long time now. You had met him while you were both still alive. Although there were bans on alcohol at the time, you were able to sneak your way into a speakeasy. You sat at the damp gross bar waiting for the man to serve you. Of course being a woman he took his sweet time before ever asking you what you’d like. However a tall slender man walked up to you. He was wearing all red and wore a smirk that seemed to never leave his lips. After a night of drinking and doing things a lady shouldn't have done you went home fulfilled… and filled. To your dismay never seeing the man again.
That was until you ended up in hell for a cute murdering spree or whatever. You walked around aimlessly before bumping into two girls by accident. The girl with long blonde hair apologized frantically which just made you stare at her annoyed. You hated overly happy people. Of course the happy girl asked you to her hotel in which you totally thought she was trying to have a threesome, but really she was just being nice.
After months of living in this hotel and ‘trying’ to get better so you could be redeemed. Which you thought was a load of bullshit because why would you wanna get better when you're already better than everyone. During those months though you had gotten very close to Alastor. You had spent many nights with him, not always of sexual nature of course.
One morning though you woke up and you quickly realized he was gone from your bed. Which wasn’t normal usually after being with you he wanted to be as close as possible. You looked around the room to see if maybe he just decided not to sit on the bed. Your eyes widened as he came out of the bathroom with no shirt on and just pants. To make matters worse he had his hair in a little ponytail. His hair wasn’t quite long enough to have all his hair up so there were little bits sticking off the side and sticking out from under where it was pulled up. You stared at him like you could have devoured him right in that moment.
“What” His staticy voice broke you out of your thoughts. He slowly walked toward you, joining you in bed again. He began talking about god knows what but you could focus on his hair at this moment.
“This is new” You say, interrupting him, reaching your hand up to his hair. “Very hot” You breath heavily watching him, watching how he sat there so slutty without even realizing.
His head whipped to you as he realized how you were ogling him like some object. “You think?” He whispered sultrily as his hand came up to grip your throat.
You let out a whimper as he brings your face to his before kissing you slowly. So slow it almost hurt how badly you wanted him at that moment. You were aching for his attention, attention only he could ever give you.
Masterlist Alastor Masterlist
#bbgwrites#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin#hazbin hotel#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor fic#hazbin hotel fic#hazbin hotel oneshots#alastor the radio demon#alastor x reader#hazbin alastor#radio demon#alastor#oneshot
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Hello, it's the new year and I haven't been...talking much for a long time.
As I've stated, I've had multiple health scares this year, and I -goddamn this is too formal, I dont like to talk about myself much, I'd rather keep things to myself, but I'm currently taking multiple meds for a formal diagnosis, right now I'm being treated for Bipolar. Turns out there was something up. I aint really afraid to talk about it, I mean lots of people get treated for many things and it's normal.
This was uh.....scary for me, I figured something was up and I mean I'm fine now but DAMN first 15 minutes of hearing that? Nasty. Lot of things that are super personal tied to just a lot of shit yada Yada I feel like shit for just being nonchalant about this but I don't know what else to do, I'm taking care of myself and trying to fix my life up.
But now that I'm getting to a point where I'm more stable, I'm starting to feel more ....me? Genuinely, it's gonna take me a long time to make myself get into a solid schedule, I dont think I'll ever have one, maybe the slight one i have now, but atleast I don't feel like I have 0 control over my life at this point.
Idk man I had some kind of control but I don't know...who am I kidding. I feel like a new person. I feel better, my body doesn't hurt as much.
I don't know if being a new person is a good or a bad thing for me but uh...idk idk idk maybe I kept reading through my scripts and realized something.
Anyways, now that I know when to take the meds so I can draw, I've been back to just? Drawing and having fun?
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Really living by this its why I'm not online much, if I aint having fun what's the point.
BUT now I get to the uh...other shit.
So because of the meds stuff and all kinds of shit mostly......IM ABOUT TO LOSE INSURANCE...... and I've done a few things.
For starters. I'm setting up a patreon, I'm going to do it so that it would only charge when I make a post of 5-10 pages of the comic, I'm gonna get through my first half of chapter 4 before I ever even think if taking anything from ANYONE, so no monthly just for specificposts. Quite ffrankly, I do not like money, like in a way of it makes me nervous and I want people to get a bang out of their buck because I'd I don't make it good is it worth it????
tWO......I don't like advertising, I never did, I probably should of said I have them last few plushes during December (like everyone around me was saying to do and YET....there is less then 10😭) but I wanted people to be spending money on something worthwhile. Hell I mean, it's guilt, its massive guilt, there are people more in need and NOW MORE THAN EVER.....so to not feel like a thief, anyone who gets this critter here, I will donate a solid 30USD out of each purchase to a family in Gaza in need, of your choice of course. I need to pay for shipping but whatever else is left I will donate the rest. That should leave me around $40 on each plush and that's fine, I'm gonna save it for meds because when I go uninsured idk how long it's gonna be, maybe a bit maybe a while, I dont know yet but I wanna provide aid in some way. Like ceasefire don't mean shit until it's permanent, and I don't trust Israelis to hold true to any promise. So I want some of that money to atleast help SOMEONE. Because in the end I know I can get by but.
But my wife is the only person with a job.......😬😬😬😬😬
Besides all of that I'm sorry I haven't uploaded pages or drawings or anything, I wanna have a better relationship online, like I did when I was younger, when it was just fun and I had my own corner, maybe that'd nostalgia but I'm getting sick of social media, and maybe I don't wanna be walking on eggshells because of fandom whatever. So I will be trying to do more in the future, I hope yall have a good day.
And thank you again for all the patience with my slow ass 😭
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when i see u and other transfems who are cool and hot it makes me want to kill myself because i dont know how to be like that and idk what to do about it
i know you'll say shit like 'oh just strive to be the person u wanna be/be yourself/estrogen' etcb ut it doesnt feel like enough
Okay sooooo unfortunately for us broken dolls even getting to where I am won't make those thoughts go away, I still deal with them constantly because there's always a doll out there that'll give you that much dysphoria and gender envy and also life is terrifying but I promise promise promise it's light years better than anything I ever went through pretransition.
I couldn't act like myself in the beginning either because until you get like six months in you may not know who you even are yet, personally I emulated a bunch of girls I looked up to until I found myself n then as it turns out I wasn't too different from them to begin with. There's gonna be struggling, there's gonna be tears, you're gonna wonder why you did this and if it was even worth. This isn't easy by any definition of the word even under the best circumstances, but it's so far beyond anything I could have dreamed that I can't imagine going back. Again, it WILL be hard, there's just no way around that. I think of it like a pact with the devil; there will be a price but the rewards... Oh babygirl the rewards are worth every dysphoric sob session and every second guess and then some.
Don't get discouraged looking at dolls like me either because literally you can just be one, all the makeup looks you need are on here, all the fashion inspo, the community, the attitudes. Girl you're literally at the gender store right now, what looks good to you? I had a bunch of dolls tagged with like a fashion inspo tag for months before I finally took my first steps and that really helped me to find who I wanted to be.
Oh and estrogen will absolutely drive you crazy btw especially if you're already in this mental state, those first six months are a nightmare lowkey. I wouldn't have been able to transition without the support of the community on here.
People aren't just shitposting when they talk about how we're capable of anything. You gotta give yourself more credit <3
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quotes from watching trigun stampede with my friends so SPOILERS:
“Bro he even falls zestily” (in reference to wolfwood)
“oh cool flashback” “more like a VASHBACK am i right? ZINGER” “kys.”
“my lawyers have advised me to not discuss what i would do to his stupid fluffy blonde hair”
WW: “the big man upstairs made me strong” “The big man upstairs made me like people with wires and mandibles.”
*vashs arm gets sucked into a blackhole* “bro wtf, hollow purple”
“boy why you so 🪴”
“motherfucker so gay the cigarette bends the second it touches his mouth”
“this is just a documentary of california”
*BadLads gang shows up* “BL? Boys love? They kiss men?”
*Livio standing menacingly* “SANS???”
*in reference to eye of Michael* “Why’s their logo literally new mexico”
*Legato appearance* “blue hair AND PRONOUNS??” “whats with daman mills and voicing gay men”
*Woowoo getting tortured* “theyre injecting 🏳️🌈 into his bloodstream”
*First wolfwood appearance* “He better hit people with that fucking cross”
“he looks hot when hes troubled”
*In reference to Rosa* “If pregnant lady dies i’m leaving the call
“OH MY GOD HES REDPILLED.” “Vashed and redpilled”
“Tricum stampede”
*we were watching on an illegal site so it kept opening new tabs* “AHHHH PORN”
*wolfwood gets fucking bent in half by legato* “Bro where can i get a massage like that”
“Roberto looks like. hold on.” The image sent:
“if the animation was a person i’d make out with them sloppy style. with tongue.”
*in Rollo’s old town with the biblical radio shit* “Guys this sounds just like something my bus driver would say”
*zazie turns into a swarm* “would you still love me if i was a worm :(“
“vash’s mom is pretty” “i’m gonna stop you right there.”
*vash.* “LOOK AT HIS SLUTTY WAIST”
“yeah nai just really liked taking out arms this episode”
*knives playing the piano in the distance* “IS THAT THE GRIM REAPER😨😨😨”
EG Bomber: “MASTER KNIVES😈” my friend in the zestiest voice ever: “master😳”
Vash: *reloading* “THATS SO FUCKING HOOOOTTT” “i wish i was that gun.”
*wolfwood gets fucking run over* “i think hes my new favorite character”
*vash getting chased by the residents of jenora rock* “california has never looked livelier”
“Call me Millions Knives.” “edgy ass emo name, he sounds like hes a 13 year old emo who listens to panic at the disco and cries himself to sleep at night.”
“is this prophetic stress dream bothering you queen”
“i wish Californian sand looked as good here, dont eat the californian sand, its chunky”
*conrad appears* “LUIGI???”
“so this is julai…” “its still may dude, idk how to tell you this”
*Julai screenpan.* “THIS IS JUST VEGAS.”
*wolfwood and vash running away* “me when i skeddadle”
*vash gets shot and walks away* “bros like ‘damn i just got shot :(‘“
“Nicholas the Punisher.” “he can punish me if he wants I MEAN WHAAAAAT”
*That Roberto Scene™️* “*through tears* SO HOW ARE YOU GUYS ENJOYING THE SHOW?”
*Knives dramatically playing piano* “You and that fuckin church organ.”
“5gum stampede”
“Why is nai so jacked???” “theyre both built like brick shithouses”
*Meryl points a gun at conrad* “KILL YOURSELF OLD MAN.”
“WHYS NAI CLENCHING HIS ASS SO HARD…”
“Vash wake up!!” “THIS ISNT LIKE YOU POOKIE”
*Wolfwood steals one last cigarette from Roberto* “Rare cigarette that wasnt fucked up”
“WHO CUT THEIR HAIR.” “Xinqiu.” “Yelan ass haircuts.”
*talking about vash* “hes such a shonen protag. Food friendship and (avoiding) fighting”
“Knives, ur literally gay. i dont wanna hear it.”
“The entrance to the higher plane!” “it looks like a butthole.”
*Knives fucking just floating into the higher dimension* “*cackling*” “WHY HE SLIDE LIKE THAAAT” “stone scraping sound effect”
“Vash shouldve been called damian”
“Prepare mentally for episode twelve, take a deep breath, take a sip of water-“ “KISS A MAN” “DONT KISS A MAN” “KISS A MAN!!!”
*start of episode twelve.* “surely this wont be horrifying”
“I promise to protect you both.” “well you really sucked at that, huh.” “yeah fuck you rem” “HELP???”
*looks at Nai* “Whys he wearing a speedo…”
*Red geranium sprouts in tint Vash’s hand* “NAI LOOK DO YOU WANNA SEE A MAGIC TWICK”
*Running through field of red geraniums* “this reminds me of the angry birds logo”
“metal wing?” “its made of knives, yk, like his name :D” “shut up.” “alright then.”
*chanting* “CUBE!!!!”
“HES GONNA STAMPEDE!!!”
“kiss my vash!!”
#lmao#vash tristamp#trigun stampede#trigun#trigun meryl#vash my beloved#vash saverem#vash the humanoid typhoon#vashwood#vashmeryl#tristamp wolfwood#wolfwood my beloved#nick wolfwood#nicholas d. wolfwood#roberto trigun#there will probably be more added to this#we havent finished it yet so stay tuned
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...
#yesterday i was wandering around the campus where ive resided these last 4 years bc ive banned myself from running until my leg heals#and i was thinking like. what am i gonna miss about this place when i leave? bc im always thinking abt the things i cant wait to get away#from. and its a real short list. ill miss the palm trees bc i never get sick of seeing thrm. theyre so weird#ill miss the yucca. again bc theyre so weird looking. ill miss the way u can see where all the ants r bc in the non human populated areas#there isnt grass everywhere bc desert. ill miss that there r so many birds of prey hanging around. and the road runners and all the lil#lizards. and maybe in an abstract way ill miss being so close to the boarder bc when u live near a boarder boarders feel like bullshit#like staring down the road into another country. idk theres something i like abt that. ill probably also miss being able to run outside#all year long bc in the winter during the day all u need is a light jacket lol. where im going it gets real cold 🥶#maybe ill even miss the constant blue skies. but idk ive always liked a cloudy sky better. makes me think of home haha#ill def miss how convenient my apartment rn is. the loft bed. the low cost. the 5min walk to campus. sigh. but thats pretty much it. i#dont think ill miss anything else. im not really close with anyone. my boss was the reason i came here and she left this school in January#so thats it i guess. i think i stayed a year too long and was not well for a lot of my time here but so it goes#just gotta move to the next place. just gotta pray pray pray that i find an apartment soon. i dont even wanna say anything abt it bc im#afraid to jinx things. even tho thats irrational. like. i just gotta somehow project how good a tenant i am. im so quiet u will never see#me and i never complain abt anything bc i have brain problems. sigh. i cant wait for this transition to b over#im so so so ready to be in a new place doing new things. but at least my energy is back. im back to high energy on little sleep lol#i dont understand how my body functions lmao. somehow when i get a normal amount of sleep it's a sign that i feel awful#unrelated
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I guess I should start looking into apartments for next year. I don't know where I'm going to be working after I graduate yet, but I'll have a car by then, so it shouldn't matter too much. And I'm hesitant to move when I don't know where I'm going to end up... but I will be honest, I cannot live in this place for another year. They've increased the rent by a literal 50% since I started living here 3 years ago, the air conditioning doesn't work, I have to do laundry by *coin operation*, and worst of all there is no patio or balcony to speak of. I need outdoor seating!!! For my mental health!!!! Adding in the fact that it's far too cramped with all the furniture I got from my dad...
Yeah. Even if I only live there for a year, I Got to move.
Gonna be working on sorting through all the shit in my apartment, especially the boxes from my dad. Once I get a car, I wanna make it my personal project in the next year to cut down on the shit that I own. Go through my old clothes and donate anything that I Never wear and Never would. The goal being that by the time I do move, I want there to not be a fucking boatload of shit to move. There's still all this furniture but like. Eh. Ya kno. Still wanna make it better than it could be.
#speculation nation#dont have my dad to help me move anymore. which means im gonna have to figure out how to take this bed frame apart.#ive never done it before. it was always him doing it. but im fairly smart. it's probably pretty intuitive.#just. kinda sucks. and i'll have to keep track of what screws go where and whatever for putting it back together.#i think i wanna get a 2 bedroom apartment. even if it's just me. so i can have a room i can shut off from the cats#primarily for plants lol. and maybe some other shit. stuff i dont want the cats to access.#i wonder if it'd be too early to start looking for an apartment for like... june of next year.#the earlier the better if i wanna secure something nice. but also idk if theyd even have things listed for a year from now.#wouldnt hurt to look at least. put some feelers out. see what's available out there.#i'll kind of miss this place. my first apartment ive lived in on my own. and the last place that both sammy and cassy lived.#i will be honest. kind of a shithole. but it's mine yk?#but ive outgrown it. and also i could Really do without all the bugs from having a partial basement unit hfksbfmd#might look online later today. just to see.#housing around here is in pretty high demand bc of the college so if i can secure smth early. that's probably the best for me.#give me more choices. etc etc. ya kno.#important for me to think about this now anyways bc my rental company is gonna b pestering me in like a month or two to decide if ill renew#give me a reduced offer for rent from what theyd be increasing it to. which. lmfao. 50% increase is 'reduced' from what it could be.#i... really am so lucky that my dad had his life insurance policy set up like he did.#having money to fall back on makes all of this a lot less scary. up to and including being able to hire ppl to help me move#if. it comes to that. my family would still in general be willing to help probably. but man we're all getting older.#and i know i got too much shit. so. if it came down to it. yeah i could hire moving helpers. if i needed to.#and it makes me feel more secure in moving despite not having a job lined up yet#bc i still have Plenty of money. unless the next apartment is like horrifically expensive i could last several years with what i got.#so. yeah. looking into moving next year. big things. it's the time to think about it though.
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Rubies
Communication
authors note: kitty uses the word ‘nonverbal’ here in a way that isnt really medically accurate. thats kind of a whole discussion im not gonna get into now but tl;dr delta has selective mutism and autism but he isnt “nonverbal” per se.
(Content: living weapon whumpee, discussion of past captivity, past abuse, discussion of war, (internalized) abuse apologism, dehumanization, emotional whump)
================
katkittykat: hiiiiii :3c
nodiving: hey
He glanced over the top of his laptop screen, across the room where Kitty was curled up on the armchair. She flashed her teeth at him when she smiled. Her nails clicked against the keys when she typed.
katkittykat: this is so smart lowk idk why i didnt think of it sooner
nodiving: yeah
nodiving: i’ve seriously been drafting forum arguments in my head this entire time
nodiving: all of them probably think they won just cause i termed
nodiving: would it be weird if i just pick them back up like nothing happened
katkittykat: ya u might have to let those go tbh
nodiving: :/
It was very hard to type with the cast on. It took him much longer to write than it normally would. Luckily, she didn’t interrupt until she heard the typing stop.
katkittykat: so like whats the deal w u
katkittykat: are u not talking cause ur scared to?
nodiving: no
nodiving: yeah
nodiving: its not that im scared necessarily its just that its very very unnatural for me
nodiving: it still feels rude and overfamiliar to me even if i know you dont see it that way
nodiving: this is a lot easier thank you
katkittykat: you dont have to talk if it’s uncomfortable !!!
katkittykat: its cool if ur nonverbal we can just keep texting like dis
nodiving: i think i do want to though
nodiving: its just hard
nodiving: please dont like…stop talking to me
nodiving: im trying
katkittykat: u will have to deal w us talking to u FUREVER !!!! >:3c
nodiving: <3
katkittykat: aaaaaaaah <33333
He hesitated a long time before typing the next message.
nodiving: do you think i should have stayed
katkittykat: what???? D:
nodiving: on a purely strategic level it seems like this was not the most optimal outcome
katkittykat: urghhhh
katkittykat: well on a ~purely strategic level~ im not the best person to ask tbh
katkittykat: like im ngl galatea was NOT prepared for sudden reunification and thats why levon is so pissed at us X)
katkittykat: but it would have been hard no matter what and if the war had gone on we wouldve had to fight along 2 different fronts which is also noooooot good
katkittykat: and if we had to do that. we would have had to fight you! which would have been v v v not good X(
katkittykat: so idk if there was really a better outcome? and even if there was like
katkittykat: its not ur problem
katkittykat: ur not just a chess piece to be moved around
nodiving: i kind of am though
nodiving: theres obviously been a huge fallout because of this and it feels wrong to write all of it off just because of. my rights or whatever.
nodiving: i feel like i kind of jumped the gun leaving when i did
katkittykat: aw jeez :(
katkittykat: i was curious abt that tbh i assumed there was some final straw for u but i didnt wanna pry obvs
katkittykat: seems like it was bad ?
nodiving: i dont know
nodiving: i was more scared by the escalation it represented than anything that actually happened so i feel like i may have overreacted a little bit
nodiving: its hard to explain
katkittykat: ur ok! u can talk abt it when ur ready
katkittykat: but fwiw i really doubt you overreacted
nodiving: thank you
katkittykat: if anythin u seem to be kinda? downplaying it????
nodiving: it really wasnt that bad
nodiving: i could have gone longer
katkittykat: idk delta it kinda seems that bad
katkittykat: i think u got used to it
katkittykat: but that doesnt mean it wasnt bad
He gave her a nervous glance from across the room, his hands stilling on the keyboard. He reluctantly began to type again.
nodiving: did you say i didnt have to talk about it
katkittykat: yes!!!! mb
katkittykat: do u wanna play league omg we actually have time now
nodiving: yessssss
===========
nodiving: hi
sunspot: Hi Delta!!!! :)
sunspot: How are you !!!!
nodiving: im ok
nodiving: im sorry i was such a dick to you before
nodiving: i was looking at the old messages again i feel really bad
sunspot: No you’re totally good! We were being really pushy i get why you were upset
sunspot: We were just worried for you honestly even when we didnt know you that well
sunspot: It was scary when you would just disappear for weeks at a time like that
sunspot: We just wanted to make sure you were safe
sunspot: Still do!
nodiving: thank you
nodiving: i was scared too
nodiving: can i ask you something
sunspot: Yes please!!!! Yes I thought youd never ask!!!!
nodiving: is levon going to kill me
sunspot: Oh no
sunspot: He explicitly promised me not to
sunspot: Delta please do not tell me you have been worrying about that this entire time
nodiving: it stood out as a distinct possibility
sunspot: Didnt he promise he wouldnt hurt you?
nodiving: yes
nodiving: you understand why i may be a bit hesitant to take him at his word
sunspot: Yes I guess thats our bad
sunspot: But i really don’t think he wants that for you
sunspot: Do you think he’d wait for you to heal just to kill you at the end?
nodiving: not sure
sunspot: That was rhetorical! The answer was no.
nodiving: then what
sunspot: a good question
sunspot: I wish I had an answer for you and I really cant apologize enough for putting you in this situation but I'm afraid it could get very messy for a little while
nodiving: messy how
sunspot: In the broadest possible terms
sunspot: They dont really know what to do with you
sunspot: So that is something we are all going to have to figure that out together
=============
LEVON: Kitty.
LEVON: How are you, my sweet?
KITTY: omg hiiiiiii
KITTY: im rlly good actually things r rlly good!
LEVON: Any progress?
KITTY: ya i think so :)
KITTY: hes opening up a little hes still like. v v shy in person? but not as scared i dont think
KITTY: hes very polite
LEVON: Poor thing.
LEVON: Does he have sensory issues? I hear that’s a big thing with psychics.
KITTY: ummm yeah hes v twitchy. i think he gets his signals crossed a lot but idk if hes aware of it? he just gets all hackle-y at literally nothing sometimes
LEVON: Interesting.
KITTY: how are things back there
LEVON: Well, it’s a shitshow. You’ll find out soon.
KITTY: eek
KITTY: um can i tell u smth
LEVON: Of course.
KITTY: i dont think hes ready yet
LEVON: You have the rest of the month.
KITTY: no even then i just dont think hes gonna be ready
KITTY: he needs more time
LEVON: I feel like I’ve been more than generous in letting you keep an unsupervised superweapon(!) in your house for two months without disturbance
LEVON: I’m not saying I’m going to put him through the ringer or anything but he does need to come back to base.
LEVON: You’re coming with him, so I don’t see what the issue is.
KITTY: will we b able to see him then :?
LEVON: Sure.
KITTY: can he room w me :3c
LEVON: Nope.
KITTY: why D:
LEVON: Security reasons.
KITTY: levon :(
LEVON: This isn’t coming from me.
KITTY: but ur the boss!!!!
LEVON: Yes, but this isn’t an absolute monarchy. I’m still obligated to follow protocol and I’m obligated to listen to other members of the council.
LEVON: Who I should add, are a LOT less okay with this than I am.
KITTY: ok i get all that but listen like
KITTY: i dont think u understand how fragile he is rn
LEVON: I think you may actually be underestimating him.
KITTY: uh wat do u mean by that
LEVON: He’s held his own within Empire for nineteen years. That’s not for the weak. He can handle a little strain.
KITTY: lol is that what u call it
KITTY: a little strain?
LEVON: Relatively speaking, yes. I’ll do what I can to make it painless for him. Personally, I think he’s innocent.
KITTY: he IS innocent
LEVON: Can you prove it?
KITTY: ITS SUPPOSED TO BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!!!
LEVON: That file you sent me. You made it, didn’t you? You’ve seen what’s on there? The casualty count?
KITTY: but thats not his fault!
LEVON: And I agree with you. But that’s what we’re going to have to establish.
KITTY: but i dont want him to :(((
LEVON: What you want is not necessarily the basis upon which the courts operate.
==========
katkittykat: doing ok????
nodiving: yeah
nodiving: in my room
katkittykat: what do u do in there
nodiving: kinda just been sleeping a lot
nodiving: im really tired all the time i dont know why
nodiving: i didnt use to be
katkittykat: ur sleep debt is probably insaneeeeeee that why
nodiving: yeah
nodiving: im sorry that im like this btw
katkittykat: u dont need to apologize for resting bby theres nothing 2 b sorry for
nodiving: not just that i mean everything
nodiving: i know im not normal
katkittykat: u rlly rllllly dont need to worry abt that around us i promise we r all freak bitches
katkittykat: i like talking to u tho and i think its ok if u dont realylly feel “normal” right now u dont need to b
katkittykat: u can just b urself and if u dont know who that is rn thats fine too becuz u have the rest of ur life to figure it out
katkittykat: i will still want to hang out w you anyway <3
It took a long time for him to respond. She thought he may have fallen asleep again.
nodiving: why are you being so nice to me
Her turn to hesitate. That was more of an Apollo question — he could explain it ad nauseam. She didn’t know what answer she could possibly give him, if he even really wanted one.
There was so little she knew about Delta. Each glimpse she got of what his life had been like painted a worse picture of it. They always said he’s been through a lot when anyone asked; it was a convenient euphemism for a whole array of issues. He tried so hard to play his cards close it to his chest. It felt like a betrayal then, the way the signs slipped through.
nodiving: you dont have to be
She frowned as she slowly tapped at the keyboard.
katkittykat: i wanna be tho
katkittykat: cause i like u
katkittykat: <3
Another moment of silence. She braced herself. There was no way she could try and unpack all of that herself. She hoped she would not have to. She would do it wrong.
nodiving: <3
…………
tags:
@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @vivulapom @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump
@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire
@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety
#totally ruining delta and kitty's likability by revealing they play league#not even space league its just normal league#kitty tried to get him to hop on fort w her all the time while he was in captivity he was always like IM KIND OF BUSY????#whump#whump writing#whump prompt#whumpblr#living weapon whumpee#past captivity#past abuse#abuse apologism#dehumanization#emotional whump#rubies#kitty#delta#apollo#levon
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MASSIVE WARNING FOR II 17 SPOILERS ++ INANIMATE INSANITY THEORY ++ ADAM KATZ TWITTER CODE SOLVING !!
i am holding onto way more hope than i should, however, this is a stray theory of mine that im holding onto for said hopes sake.
to those who haven't watched ii 17 yet, PLEASE keep scrolling. i mention just about everything that happened in the episode, and im basically reviewing it at the start. the episode is so much better without any spoilers!!
so, inanimate insanity 17. if you don't wanna hear me blabber on and on about the episode, scroll to the other big text. otherwise i am RANTING i need an outlet. 3:
inanimate insanity 17 was a rodeo. me and my partner had a few straggling theories before we watched it, and a few of them were true. knife did indeed punch cobs, they really did fight, everyone that heard was disappointed to find out they were made by mephone 4.
starting with the majority of the opening sequence, going from memory here, knife's desperation? ow. suitcase's new found paranoia? OW. them doing everything to find out what was wrong was so bittersweet, because you can just tell that they don't know how to stop it and are holding onto to random theories and hope.
nearing more of the middle section, i completely forgot that bow could possess people. made me giggle a bit tbh….. besides that, I HATE COBS HE MANIPULATED MY BABY, TOILET. ☹️ the admission of guilt from mephone 4, only to realize his apology could never speak loud enough almost killed me. lightbulb, fan, and test tube, all dead. the bright lights poly. when toilet told mepad that he understood it wasn't a competition anymore? and when cobs pulled off toilet and begun killing everyone? jesus christ dude (also im a little sad at the lack of extra pronunciation on "your" when paper yelled at salt saying "hes not your boyfriend" as a payjay shipper but....)
more on the end side, the fight convinced me for a damn while. it doesn't make sense to me how one single throw got knife extremely scuffed and chipped, but it's finneee, it's show logic!! :3 anygays. the main painful time. the pull of the plug, prompting toilet to call himself "the best assistant", the way knife put his hand on suitcase to comfort her, the way cobs SACRIFICED MEPHONE X??? dude this show is gonna make me go bonkers.
last but not least, "the show is over," and mephone 4 has no choice but to go back "home" with cobs. ow.
there are still so many questions. the eggs helped power everything, but were they fake? how did mephone 4 find the land he built inanimate insanity on? obviously it isn't fake, he's still sitting on it at the end of the episode. where's 3gs? what about mepad? was mepad made up? too much to answer with too little information.
overall, what a painful episode. it seems like the end, right? wrong.
inanimate insanity is not over. we are getting ii18.
at least, thats my theory. average movie length spans 1½ hours to 2½ hours. us inanimate insanity fans were told that this finale would be as long as a movie. right now, we are only at an hour. i dont remember the last time i watched a movie that was only an hour. they're out there, yes, but i doubt the creators would pray on very short movies to support their angst.
adam katz's teasing on twitter / x, saying that mephone x was after him, only for his account to be seemingly gone or empty? there's no way adam simply quit twitter because he ended his line of work. it's a thing that happens, but i dont think this is that. most of adam's characters in the show died before the plug was pulled. is that a direct reference? i don't know.
as of october 15th, adam seemingly returned to twitter, but instead as the robot from ii17. why would they bring him back suddenly, why would they make this teaser? there's no real, legitimate explanation in my eyes... other than them maybe just wanting to torture us. that, however, is not the point.
continuing on adam robot twitter thing, on his twitter / x profile / status, (idk what it's called i don't use twitter / x,) it says, "Loading a large amount of files... / Estimated wait tim: 2880 minutes, 0 seconds". that directly translates to two days. we're heavily likely to get the true final episode or the trailer of such of ii2 in 2 days.
update for the above. on october 18th, around 3pm EST, a code to decipher was posted. someone in the comments of the twitter / x post said that it was "you seek to know the true reason for such a tragic second season if you decide you want to show more there may be something to restore see .com/insert code". we, the viewers might be bringing the show back.
season one and season three's final episodes ended with a "the end". ii17 did not have this end card. this seems like a very crucial thing that they couldn't just "leave out". after all, why on the most important finale of all of the finales so far, would they leave out saying "the end"? if it's truly the end, they wouldn't leave it with a black screen and a sobbing community. (the last part, maybe, but not the first part.....)
both season one ended with 18 episodes, and season three ended with 19 episodes. season two seems to almost be ending on episode 17. this could go either way, with season two ending with a pattern of 17-18-19, OR, if we're really lucky, 18-19-20. (or we just get an extra 18 or smth idk)
there is a reason why this is only a stray theory of mine. only 6 days before the release of ii17, adam katz and brian koch were saying their thank you's and goodbye's to the inanimate insanity community. it feels like the end of this show is near, if not sadly over now.
overall, i still have hope. but this wont be clear until we either see a ii18 trailer or we dont. i will regularly update this with new information as it gets found by me and my partner. goodbye for now, inanimate insanity community, and good luck.
robot adam's twitter saga.
adam katz's teasing on twitter / x, saying that mephone x was after him, only for his account to be seemingly gone or empty? there's no way adam simply quit twitter because he ended his line of work. it's a thing that happens, but i dont think this is that. most of adam's characters in the show died before the plug was pulled. is that a direct reference? i don't know.
as of october 15th, adam seemingly returned to twitter, but instead as the robot from ii17. why would they bring him back suddenly, why would they make this teaser? there's no real, legitimate explanation in my eyes... other than them maybe just wanting to torture us. that, however, is not the point.
continuing on adam robot twitter thing, on his twitter / x profile / status, (idk what it's called i don't use twitter / x,) it says, "Loading a large amount of files... / Estimated wait tim: 2880 minutes, 0 seconds". that directly translates to two days. we're heavily likely to get the true final episode or the trailer of such of ii2 in 2 days.
update for the above. on october 18th, around 3pm EST, a code to decipher was posted. someone in the comments of the twitter / x post said that it was "you seek to know the true reason for such a tragic second season if you decide you want to show more there may be something to restore see .com/insert code". (credits to @\NickleBFDIA2012 on twitter/x !!) we, the viewers might be bringing the show back.
connecting to that, more hints have already been found. there was a code on cabby's wiki that is decoded to “You want the second key word? These pages are your answer. Next, go to the three time player with the lowest average placement." (credits to @\MeesterTweester on twitter/x !!) this brought the fandom to nickel (i believe), and im not quite sure what it says.
however, i do know one thing. it's been solved, and my theory was proven true.
we will be getting episode 18 of inanimate insanity by late november.
#fandomfantasyy#inanimate insanity spoilers#inanimate insanity 2#inanimate object#inanimate insanity#ii 17#ii17#ii 17 spoilers#ii 17 trailer#ii spoilers#ii finale#inanimate insanity 17#ii mephone4#ii paintbrush#ii lightbulb#object shows#osc#please help#blow this up#hope#for the ii community#please like and reblog#please reblog#adam katz#code#good luck everyone#safe travels
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