#am i not meant to be genuinely flustered thinking back on it for the rest of my life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

genshingorlsrevengeance · 2 months

Note

How about defy/404 with an s/o who enjoys doing domestic activities with them, such as wanting to cook alongside them, or do their hair for them, I think it would sound nice.

(GFL) Domestic fluff with 404 and DEFY

404: UMP45, UMP9, HK416, G11 DEFY: AK-12, AN-94, AK-15, RPK-16, Angelia

45 isn't really used to just being able to relax, always having lived on the move with her squad.

But thanks to S/O, she's can sit around doing nothing for once, and it made her a little flustered.

The sounds of plates gently clattering into the sink is enough to stir 45 out of her thoughts, her attention going back to S/O washing the dishes.

They had just finished dinner together with the rest of 404, but it was only them in the room. Something that suit her just fine as she walked up from behind and gently wrapping her arms around them.

Instead of her usual sarcastic smile present, this one was more genuine.

(S/O) "Fourty-five?-"

(UMP45) "Am I not allowed to hug?"

Though she was teasing, her voice was gentler than usual, making S/O smile back.

(S/O) "Hm, I suppose I'll allow it.~"

The two enjoyed the silence and each other's warmth, saying nothing else for a long while.

9 almost tackled S/O into a hug as she walked through the dorm's sliding door.

(UMP9) "S/O! Hug me!"

S/O was startled but quickly returned her affection, laughing all the while.

(S/O) "Nine, welcome back!"

She nuzzled her head into their shoulders, making S/O blush, but she wasn't immune to the embarrassment herself.

9 has S/O sit down with her, regaling them on how the mission went with a big smile and cuddling even closer.

S/O felt lucky anytime she came home undamaged, getting to spend time before the next mission took place.-

(UMP9) "S/O? Are you listening?"

(S/O) "H-Huh? Oh, sorry was lost in thought-"

UMP9 began pouting, something that made S/O struggle to hold back a smile.

416 for once is not muttering something under her breath when spending time with S/O, her tsundere tendencies being completely absent.

Instead, there's a soft smile on both their faces as S/O leans closer into her with a book at hand, both of them reading in silence.

As long as they didn't tease 416 (As much fun as it was), or brought attention to their smile, S/O could at least enjoy the sight of her at peace.

Unless they stared at her too long with affectionate eyes, which would make her flustered.

Which unfortunately, they did.

(HK416) "W-What? Is there something on my face?"

(S/O) "Nah, just admiring how pretty you are."

She scoffs as a tinge of red dusted her cheeks, not meeting S/O's eyes.

(HK416) "F-Figures. After all, you can't get much better than me."

Feeling S/O peck against her cheek made 416 drop her own book as her core started overheating.

S/O fed G11 with a spoon as she lazily savored the soup, making S/O chuckle at her sleepy expression.

Granted, that's how she normally looked like but today it was cuter than usual.

Especially when she was staying awake solely to spend time with S/O, that fact alone warming their heart.

(S/O) "Taste good?"

G11 just hummed in response and sat closer to them.

(G11) "More please."

S/O felt her hand brush against theirs, wordlessly asking to be held. Something they had no trouble indulging G11 in.

G11's smile was subdued, but very much present as she just scooted closer each bite, S/O not minding at all.

12 leaned her head back as S/O brushed it gently, straightening it out while talking about nothing in particular.

She wasn't entirely used to getting pampered like this, but 12 had no objections to having this be a common occurence.

Her eyes remained closed the entire time, but she did enjoy the feeling of S/O's hands on her frame.

(S/O) "Your hair is really soft..."

(AK-12) "It's hard to maintain this, y'know?"

(S/O) "I wasn't even aware you did at all."

She pouted at that, her brows furrowing ever so slightly.

(AK-12) "I'm not a savage, S/O. I have to at least make myself presentable."

(S/O) "O-Oh sorry! I didn't mean it like that, I just meant that T-Dolls didn't really have normal hair-...Agh, I'm making this worse.-"

Immediately breaking her facade, 12 giggled and let her hand brush against their face.

(AK-12) "Relax, I know what you mean."

Now it was S/O's turn to pout, something that 12 didn't need to open her eyes to see.

94 had no idea how to just "relax" and do nothing, but that was something S/O was happy to teach her.

Which led to S/O and 94 watching a tv show together.

The entire time, 94 had a very inquisitive expression, something that made S/O laugh with how intense she looked.

She then turned her attention to S/O, confused at their laughter.

(AN-94) "Did something funny happen? This scene seems quite serious."

(S/O) "No, it's not the show it's just...You look really cute right now, Ninety-Four."

Her eyes widened at the compliment, her hand slightly fidgeting from the compliment.

(AN-94) "Ah...Thank you."

She leaned closer to S/O, their response wrapping an arm around her waist and making her smile.

15 was opposed to just standing around and doing nothing, but S/O had managed to convince her to take a rest.

But to make the most of it, S/O had asked 15's help with cooking.

She was very logical and by the book when it came to the recipes at first, until S/O had showed her a family recipe.

(AK-15) "Wouldn't this make the dish too salty?"

(S/O) "No, it actually balances out! We add soy sauce to the rice while its frying in the pan to make it brown, and-"

The entire time, 15's attention was solely focused on S/O as they spoke, only after a few minutes did they sheepishly rub the back of their neck.

(S/O) "A-Ah, sorry! I'm probably boring you with my family's past, aren't I?-"

15 immediately shook her head and responded.

(AK-15) "No. It's something that matters to you, and couldn't be boring to me. Please, continue."

Though her expression and voice remained stoic, her eyes didn't budge once from S/O's face, making them smile.

(S/O) "Hah, right. Would you like to try what my family taught me then?"

(AK-15) "I'll be under your care, S/O."

(S/O) "Hah, it's just rice! Nothing that serious...B-But uh, try to be careful with the pan, I think you might accidentally rip the handle off with your strength."

(AK-15) "...I will attempt not to damage your cooking utensils, S/O."

S/O and 16 stepped into the shower together, with S/O blushing madly at the beautiful woman behind them.

16 giggled at their reaction and teasingly leaned in.

(RPK-16) "Is something the matter, S/O?~"

(S/O) sigh "Don't tease me too much, okay?"

(RPK-16) "Hm, alright. Humans are strange, you know I'm not human but you're having this kind of reaction."

(S/O) "I think anyone would be if they were sharing a shower like this!"

Much to S/O's surprise, she did as they asked and didn't tease them, instead just making small talk and washing S/O's back for them, with S/O doing the same for her.

It was actually relaxing, as both of them felt the stress of the day melt away from the hot waters.

(RPK-16) "...If I may ask, would it not be more refreshing for a cold shower, considering you were sweating in the training hall-"

(S/O) "Ugh, god no. We're supposed to be getting ready for bed, not shocking me awake..."

16 giggled at their reaction, making S/O dread what she had planned in the future with that information.

Angelia was typing something on her computer, compiling a report of the previous few missions and some other logistics for the Commander.

Before S/O had brought some coffee for her, sitting beside her and giving a loving kiss to her cheek.

Angelia gently grabbed their wrist with her prosthetic arm as she continued typing with one arm, lovingly brushing her thumb across their hand.

(Angelia) "Thanks."

(S/O) "Geez, how much reports do you have to turn in, Ange?"

(Angelia) "Hm, a few more then there shouldn't be anything pressing after that. But I'm sure my girls will bring something to my attention."

S/O sighed dramatically as they leaned into her shoulder.

She didn't turn her attention from the screen, playfully shoving S/O off her with a small grunt.

(Angelia) "Relax, you'll get your time with me soon, just be patient."

(S/O) "Sure I can't indulge myself right now?-"

(Angelia) "We both know what'll happen if you try."

(S/O) "Do I?"

Angelia's eyes glanced over to S/O with a clearly unamused look, but she sighed as she finished typing before turning over to them.

And promptly pinched their cheek with her prosthetic, a little smirk growing at their reaction.

(S/O) "OWOWOW!"-

(Angelia) "Don't be a smartass and lemme work. Unless you want me to get AK-15 to throw you out."

S/O rubbed their cheek before sighing.

(S/O) "The worst part is that Fifteen would do that..."

(Angelia) "Any of them would, really. I'd like to see 94 try it."

(S/O) "...Y-You wouldn't order them to do it, right?"

(Angelia) "...Depends."

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eunchancorner · 5 months

Text

Two short stories, two longer stories, almost six Google doc pages, 3377 words and one new nickname for Liv, it is with great pleasure and relief that I finally bring you

Three times Ethan tickled his partners, and one time he didn't

Ethan delighted in the soft giggles that arose as he gently squished the small bit of pudge that hung just slightly over the waistband of Streber’s pants. One of his favorite people, who he’d seen at his best, and recently at his very worst, was healing.

“You’re getting soft again,” he commented, resting his head on Streb’s shoulder.

“Ihi knohohohow.”

“I missed your squish so much…”

“Ihit’s nohot that muhuhuch.”

“But it’s something. It’s progress. Progress I’m glad you’ve made…”

Ethan pressed his cheek into Streber’s, feeling his face heating up a bit. He loved how much the genuine affection got to the poor nerd.

Ethan gently pinched up and down Streb’s tummy, listening to his giggles vary in pitch, from his normal voice to high and silly, admiring every adorable sound.

“I think your new squish is even more ticklish than before~,” he teased, adoring the flustered squeak he earned, and unable to resist giving his cheek a little kiss.

“I love you~”

“Ihi love youhu tohohoo.”

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“LIV GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!”

“It’s too late, Ethan, I can’t unlearn your weakness!”

The two had been locked in a chase around the house for several minutes. Ethan had recently let slip a particular secret of his to her sneaky questions, and now he was determined to make her pay for it. The only problem was that she was well-versed in running from her partners’ wrath, so he was having a tough time cornering her. However, he was also growing adept at chasing down his partners, so he had a few tricks of his own.

One of which came in the form of a very conveniently timed boyfriend.

“LEON, GRAB HER!” he shouted as Leon rounded the couch, which he was chasing her towards. In one swift motion, Leon grabbed her under her arms and swooped her up off the ground, leaving her legs to kick uselessly in midair as she protested using several threats and curses.

Ethan stopped in front of the two, taking a minute to catch his breath, before pointing at the redhead.

“You. Did you think you’d get away with that little stunt?” he questioned her.

“Yep, AND I was absolutely gonna remember it, too! I’d FINALLY have a leg up in our tickle fights, you giant ler!”

“Well, now you’ve earned yourself a one-way ticket to getting wrecked, good job. May I, Leon?”

“LEON- I swear to fuck if you hand me over to him I am gonna dump ALL of your protein powder into the toilet!!”

Leon gave the small redhead in his hands a glare at the ill-timed threat, shortly before handing her like a ragdoll over to their boyfriend with the simple statement; “Go nuts.”

“W-Wait! Leon! THAT WAS A PROMISE!” she called after him as he returned on his original route to the kitchen, before looking back at Ethan.

“Hi~”

“U-uhm, hi?”

“Wanna apologize for your little shittery?”

“I don’t apologize for that. You know this by now!”

“Really? So you’re just gonna let this happen?”

“Let what ha-” she cut herself off as she realized what he meant. “Oh. Fuck.”

The chuckle Ethan let out was unnecessarily threatening, and Liv felt herself forcing down a nervous smile of her own.

“E-Ethan, no! I-I- I swear, i-if you tickle me, I-I’ll tell someone about it! You won’t know who, and you won’t know when until it’s too late!” she warned, wriggling in his grasp, trying to get herself down.

“Hm, guess I’ll have to tickle ya until you promise not to tell anyone!”

“Wait what-”

She squealed suddenly as Ethan practically threw her down onto the couch beside them and dug his fingers into her ribs, prompting her to grab onto and pull at his arms.

“Ehehethahahan! Nahahoho! Youhu jeheherk!” she insulted him, inadvertently digging herself a deeper hole.

“Liv, the more you fight, the worse it’s gonna get. If you wanna get out of this, you have to be nice. Start by apologizing for being rude~”

“Nehehever! Ihi’ll nehever gihive ihihin!!”

He couldn’t help but laugh at her stubbornness, especially considering how hard she was already laughing. Never change, Liv.

He grabbed her left hand, hoisting it up over her head and raking his fingers from her underarm, down her ribs and side, all the way down to her hip, then right back up, causing her to squeal and smack at him with her remaining hand.

“NyAhaHAHahaHAHaha EHEthahaHAN!! WhYhy THAhahAHAT?!” she demanded, her laughter gaining a quality Ethan could only describe as fittingly chaotic. She attempted to twist away from his hand, only to find that Ethan had very well adapted to keeping up with her constant moving.

“Because it makes you sound adorable!~ And because it’s even worse for you, which isn’t as big of a reason, but still a reason. Tell ya what. I’ll make a deal with you. All I want you to do is say sorry for being a little shit today, and you’ll be free! Sound good?~”

Once again, in all her stubbornness, Liv shook her head in refusal. She was always determined to keep from apologizing for her (admittedly harmless) actions, but unfortunately, Ethan seemed to have gained his patience back.

“That’s ok, I’ve got all the time in the world to keep tickling you until you change your mind!~”

“BUHuHUhuHUhuHuhuT Ihi’m TOOHOhohO TihiHIHIcKLihIHISh!! IHI’LL DihihIHIHIE!!”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic! You might be extremely, adorably ticklish but you won’t die! You’ll just either succumb to cotton brain or have to apologize,” he reasoned, “If you were gonna die, it’d probably be from this.”

Suddenly, he let go of her hand and began raking his newly freed hand up and down her other side, moving in the opposite direction to the other, raising her laughter up much higher than he expected.

“FUHUHUHUHUHUCK EHEHEHETHAHAHAHAN!! IHIHIT’S TOHOHORTUHUHURE!! TOHOHORTUHUHUHUHURE!!!” she practically screeched, grabbing onto his hands and flailing every which way in an attempt to escape, even going as far as to attempt to shake his arms to try to pull him off.

“And yet you know exactly how to get me to stop! But you’re not gonna, are you? Because however much you yell it’s ‘torture’ or that it’s gonna kill you, you’ll always keep being a little shit, just so someone will pin you down, and tickle you until you can’t think because it’s just so fun. Isn’t that right?~”

“SHUHUT YOUHUHUR FAHAHAHACE!!” She tried to cover his face with one hand.

“You’re not even denying it at this point! But, I know exactly what’ll get to you. Exactly what’ll get you to apologize, and end your supposed torture~” Ethan cleared his throat and leaned in close to make sure she could hear him.

“Tickle tickle tickle~”

“EHEHETHAHAN NOHOHO!!”

“Tickle tickle tickle~ Such a cute little ferret getting her tickles~”

“YOUHU AHAHAHASS!! NOHO TEHEHEASIHIHING!!”

“But why not, hm? Can’t I give a cute lil ferret her teases and tickles?~”

“WHEHERE DIHIHID THEHE STUHUPIHID FEHEHERREHET THIHING COHOME FROHOHOM?!”

“Well, you’re just like one! You’re wiggly and hyper and love causing mischief until someone gives you attention. So now, you’re a wiggly, ticklish little ferret, who’s getting all her tickle-tickle-tickles~”

“FIHIHINE FIHIHINE IHI’M SOHOHORRYHYHY! NOHO MOHOHORE TEHEHEASIHIHINGGG!” she finally gave in, and Ethan let go, just as he had promised, letting her make her attempts to stop laughing and even out her breathing.

“Youhuhu… ahare fuhucking ruhuhuhuthlehehess…” she managed as she slowly calmed down, earning a soft chuckle from Ethan.

“Maybe you’ll remember that next time. Of course, whether that stops you or spurs you on is up to you~”

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“EHEHETHAHAHAN PLEHEHEHEASE!!”

“Aww, what’s wrong, Leon? Too ticklish for tummy kisses?~” the goth cooed at his hysterical boyfriend, before peppering soft kisses all over his belly for the second time in a row. In response, he could feel Leon smacking the top of his head as though trying to dislodge him, despite having literally asked for this.

“C’mon, don’t try to push away now. I thought you wanted a soft night in tonight~”

“IHI DIHIHID BUHUT- FUHUHUHUCK!! NOHOT THEHEHEHERE!!” he squealed as Ethan’s kisses trailed around to the side of his tummy, which somehow seemed to be much worse than the middle.

“There’s so many little spots on your tummy, you’re so adorable. My big puppy boy~”

“IHI AHAHAM NOHOT A PUHUHUPPY!! YOUHU FUHUHUCKER!”

“Are you sure? Even if you wanna pull the tough guy routine, you’re pretty puppy-like. You have lots of energy, you’re friendly, you love having your tummy tickled, and if I do this…” Ethan gently pressed his thumb just above Leon’s belly button, making him kick out one of his legs in response. “You kick like a puppy, too! So, I’ve come to the conclusion that you are, in fact, a puppy. Hm, Streber would be proud of me.”

“HEHE WOUHUHUHULDN’T! GOHOHOHOD, EHEHEHETHAHAHAN!” Leon pushed at his boyfriend’s shoulders, pure instinct driving his actions. He loved this, he knew he did, no matter how flustering it was.

But Ethan was never going to hear that.

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Ethan loved his feared ler status.

He found himself lucky to be in a household with so many partners that loved to tickle and be tickled the same way he did, and he found himself even luckier to usually be the one who ended up tickling the others. He was sure he’d won the most tickle fights in the whole house.

Well, next to Aria.

Him and her had been tied for the longest time; Ethan because he never resisted the urge to strike, and Aria because she knew how to keep people from predicting when she’d strike next.

But today, he was going to change that. Ethan was going to show Aria who the most feared ler in the house was, by sneaking up on her and tickling her until she admitted it was him.

And now he was so close!

Closer…

He crept up behind her as she leaned on the back of the couch, idly watching the news.

Closer…

He could hear her humming. She sounded so distracted.

Closer…

He could practically hear her laughing already.

Closer… NOW!

“GOTCHA- WHOA! FUCK!!”

He’d lunged at her, and was taken by surprise when she whipped around, grabbed his wrist and lifted him with her free hand, slamming him down onto the couch, all the air rushing out of his lungs on impact. He coughed a bit as he regained his breath, looking up at her looming over him, her hand still on his chest and his wrist still locked in her grip.

“Uhm… hi?” he smiled innocently.

“Hi there,” she gave him an equally innocent look. That’s never a good sign.

“Well… uhm… how exactly did you do that?”

“Well, you remember how in high school I took ballet one year, and karate the next?”

“L-Listen, you can’t keep blaming all the weirdly impressive shit you do on the weird shit you did in high school!”

“Well, I’d be lying if I said they didn’t have a hand in it, but I have been training with Leon lately!”

“Of course…” he rolled his eyes. It always fucking ties back to Leon.

“So, mind telling me why you were sneaking up on me like a creep?” she raised an eyebrow at him.

“W-well, I was uh-” he was cut off with a grunt as Aria’s weight suddenly shifted to the hand that was on his chest as she pulled her legs over the back of the couch; one landing between Ethan’s own legs and one in front of the couch.

“Oww… It hurts when you do that, y’know,” he told her, earning a small eye roll.

“So you’ve complained before. Now answer my question.” She smiled as she saw his eyes widened. He thought I forgot.

“S-so, uhm, I-I was uh… w-well… I… was… uh…” he fumbled for an answer that didn’t incriminate himself, and found himself unable to come up with anything.

“You were plotting something, weren’t you?”

Oh fuck.

“But,” she glanced over the back of the couch, “since you didn’t bring something with you, I’m gonna assume you weren’t planning on doing anything that might result in a lecture from Streber. You weren’t planning on trying to take that little title, hm?”

“Wh-what title could that be?” he asked, averting his gaze, trying to suppress his nervous smile.

“The title of the biggest ler in the house. Because that title belongs to me. And you know how I know that?”

Oh she is absolutely setting this up but how can I NOT-

“Because you’re a cocky jerk?” he smirked at his own words, feeling a tinge of confidence.

That confidence faded as soon as her eyes narrowed at him.

“Because you are awfully ticklish to gentle tickles. Aren’t you?~” she leaned in all too close as she asked, “And luckily for you, gentle tickles are my specialty~”

“W-what are you… i-implying?” he asked cautiously, his eyes locking onto her hand as it moved from his chest to the side of his face.

“I’m implying,” she began as she began tracing behind his ear, causing him to choke down giggles already, “That I’m gonna do to you exactly what you were planning to do to me. Except I’m actually going to make it effective, because we all know what makes you tick, Eth. And you are going to admit that I’m the biggest ler in the house. Or at least the scariest.”

“Ihi- I’m n-not denying y-you’re the s-scariehest, Jehesus fucken Christ,” he managed, feeling his heart pounding in his chest from the threat of tickles alone. “B-but you are not th-the biggest leher… that’s me.”

“Hm. Then it looks like I am going to tickle you for the biggest ler title.”

“Oh th-that’s just n-nohot fair…”

“It’s completely fair! After all, isn’t that what you were gonna do?” she began to trace down his neck, causing him to squeak and grab her wrist. She raised an eyebrow at him, moving her finger in slow circles in the spot it was trapped in.

“Let go of my hand, or I’m going to tickle you so bad you won’t even be able to think about today without getting in a lee mood,” she warned, and the look she had made Ethan sure she was being very serious, so he did as she said.

“Good, now how am I going to do this, hm? Should I play a little first, see how loud I can make you laugh without going for your worst spot, or should I go for that infamous little kill button right away?~ And even so, which one? The one where my hand would be trapped to trace until you can finally lift your arm, and even then there’s no guarantee I’ll stop, or do I go for the one where you can’t protect your poor little spot, leaving me to trace in whatever little shapes I want, and all you can do is laugh and laugh and laugh, because we both know you won’t be able to get out a single word. So many decisions to make, and the longer I take to make them, the more flustered you’ll be, but I think I know what’ll make it ten times worse. One simple little question, that you ask all too often; What do you think I should do?~”

I think you should be less fucken terrifying, he thought, but truthfully he didn’t know if he could get a word out. Being teased by anyone else isn’t so bad, but this was Aria. She knew exactly how to get to him too flustered to manage a word, and it was working all too well. He tried to give any kind of answer, but the words caught in his throat, and all he could manage were a few flustered squeaks.

“Ethan~ If I can’t get a straight answer, I’ll just have to decide for myself, and you know I’ll pick what gets you the most~” she warned him, hovering her hand over his ribs and watching him flinch and try to squirm away, pressing his arm to his side in an effort to block her.

“A-aria… P-plehease…” was all he could manage. He wasn't sure what he was trying to ask for, maybe mercy, but either way she seemed to be having none of it.

“What’s wrong, darling? Too scared to give me an answer? That’s ok, I think I know exactly what to do~” she cooed before she began to gently pinch up and down his side, causing him to finally release all the laughter he’d felt bubbling up in his chest. He squealed and twisted under her in an attempt to hide himself, but a quick scribble to his other side sent him right back onto his back.

“Arihiahahaha! Plehehease, wahahahait! Nohohohoho!” he begged, resisting the urge to grab her wrist again and instead opted for grabbing his own shirt to try to ground himself.

“I don’t think I will, Ethan~ We’ve both waited long enough for me to tickle you, and if you had to wait any more, I think you’d regret saying that, wouldn’t you?” She began to skitter her nails lightly against his ribs before he could answer, making him laugh louder and kick his legs to try to dispel the energy. She chuckled softly as she watched him struggle to sass her, unable to get any sort of coherent thoughts within the fireworks of his brain to come up with something snarky to say. She traced up and down his ribs, delighting in every squeak and change in pitch, listening to him come so close to absolutely losing it just because he was that much worse off with such gentle tickles. As much as she wanted to dig in and watch him flail, listen to him cackle, she knew this was so much worse.

Occasionally she’d dip just between his ribs and underarms, ripping a squeal from his throat, and just as quickly, she’d be back to his ribs. She could see how badly it got to him; the way he’d tug at his poor shirt when she got a little too high and yet how he’d just barely whine when she’d leave it alone so fast.

“What’s wrong, Ethan? Can’t handle your tickles? Why are you so whiny, hm? Is there something you’re expecting?~” she couldn’t help but tease him, knowing exactly what he wanted; for her to finally go after his death spot, for his brain to fill with fog and fireworks and be able to do nothing but laugh, to fulfill the buzzing anticipation that only got worse every time she tricked him.

Gradually she let up under she had her hand just hovering above that little spot that she knew she could destroy him with, smirking as she listened to his nervous, giddy giggles.

“Well, Ethan?” she asked, “Got anything to say?”

“P-plehehease, Ahariahaha… I-Ihi’m sohohorry, y-youhu’re th-the bihihiggehest leheher, I wahas wrohohong… plehehease, juhust doho ihihit ahalreheheheadyyy…”

Aria blinked down at him. He’s… asking me to wreck him. Just like that. In exchange for admitting it, he wants me to destroy him.

She smiled, and then she chuckled quietly.

“You’re adorable when you’re desperate~”

Before Ethan had time to process it, his wrist was released and he felt an unbearably gentle tracing in that little kill spot between his underarms and ribs, sending him into utter hysterics. She watched as his shoulders shook with laughter, his arms clamped to his sides and he tossed his head back, and yet he seemed almost relaxed. She knew why, too; the anticipation of going after his worst spot was finally over, he finally got the tickles he’d been expecting from her.

After a few more moments of tickling him senseless, she finally let up, gently patting him on the head and giggling softly as he batted at her hand.

She looked up to see their other six partners staring at her from a few feet away, all six pairs of eyes wide and all six faces blushing. She couldn’t resist the urge to smirk and raise her hands in wiggling claws, which sent all of them running in different directions, watching Confi struggle to make a decision before following Liv to her room.

Title secured.

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timetoletmyimaginationfly · 8 months

Text

A Confession Challenge

Nanami Kento x Reader

(Song inspiration: Style by Taylor Swift)

He was just your boss. A boss that was meant to be a model with his height and physique. A boss that gives your stomach butterflies whenever he looks at you with his soft yet intense brown eyes. A boss that makes you melt at your very core when he speaks to you.

“You’re spacing out again.” His statement made you jump ever so slightly, your thoughts about him leaving and you returning back to reality. You gave him a sheepish smile and pushed your designs to him.

“It’s a little risky,” you said. “But these golden threads will tie the gown together. Especially because it’s black and we need something to accentuate it.” Nanami nodded.

“It looks perfect,” he said softly and proudly. “Get ready to create it, sweetheart. I’ll help look for boutiques and maybe some other stores for you.”

“You think—Nanami-san, do you really think—“

A chuckle escaped his lips. You could feel your heart beating wildly against your chest. It wasn’t everyday that Nanami Kento chuckled. And you feel so lucky that you get to witness a beautiful sounding chuckle.

“I’ll make sure you have everything ready to get the project started,” he said. He slowly leaned in closer, but you were too entranced from his chuckle to even notice. “Good job, love.” A smirk spread across his face due to your red face.

“Th-Thank you, sir,” you replied breathlessly. You could finally breathe, but every second he doesn’t pull away, the more suffocating it felt to be around him. But you liked it.

“Are you okay?” he asked. You managed a nod to answer, yet he doesn’t move. You closed your eyes when you felt his thumb caress your cheek. You felt dizzy from a simple and small touch. “Good. Wouldn’t want you getting sick.”

“N-No, that would suck,” you managed to say. Nanami softly smiled.

“You’d be out sick and I won’t see my favorite girl,” he said. “A lose-lose situation.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t be able to see your handsome face,” you said with a sly smile. A bold statement, catching him off guard. However, catching him off guard like that just brought you so much satisfaction and confidence. “Or else I’ll be stuck staring at other handsome men on my TV.”

“In your dreams, sweetheart,” Nanami said, with such intensity. Yet his gaze became soft at your sudden giggles.

Everything was unspoken yet shown. The flirting, staring, and gesturing. It was all there and shown wide out in the open. And honestly, all your coworkers were pushing you to make the first move.

But you held your ground. Because you wanted Nanami Kento to submit to you.

“I’d say you’re jealous over men I would never meet in real life,” you said. He pressed his forehead against yours, lips grazing yours but not kissing.

“Because I am,” he said. The sound of a ringtone caused them to distant themselves. Nanami sighed and you stood up while gathering your papers.

“I’ll be off, Nanami-san,” you said with a wink and smile. Nanami watched you leave and smiled. But it all disappeared when he answered the phone.

Nanami lead you to his office while his hand rested on the small of your back. He returned from his sudden business trip a week later. When he opened the door, your eyes widened. All the tools and kit you needed to create your dress was inside his office. Fabrics of different kind and colors were there.

“W-Why did you—Kento I said not to go overboard on the fabric!” you exclaimed. It was the only time you would say his name during work hours, when you get too flustered. He didn’t mind it one bit.

“Just in case,” he said. “Or if you have new creations in mind. The fabric by the wall is my selection. It’s not much but maybe it could be something you could use for the gown if you’re up for it.” You felt your chest and stomach flutter.

“You do so much for me, Nanami-san,” you said breathlessly.

“You deserve it all, sweetheart,” he said softly. His smile was genuine towards you. But you were too focused looking at the products to notice his smile. But he didn’t mind. Your smile is worth to see. “However, I want you to work in my office. I will handle your work for the time being.”

“Kento! Wait—“ You stopped when his hands were placed on your shoulders.

“I want you to focus on this. Okay?” You were in a trance. You nodded. “Good. Now get to work, sweetheart.”

He was away again for another business meeting. It has been another week since he was away. He could return at any day. You were quietly working on the gown. A knock was heard and you answered them to come in. The door opened when Gojo entered inside.

“Gojo-san!” you cheerfully greeted. Gojo smiled widely and stood next to you as you worked.

“Looking good,” Gojo said as he inspected your work. You smiled proudly. “I thought you were doing black and gold?”

“Yes but…” You grabbed your draft and handed it to Gojo. “I want the subtle sapphire so when the light shines it, it shows.”

“Is it because Nanami-san wears blue?” Gojo asked playfully. You blushed. “Remember. Eye fucking.” You stayed silent, mind racing all on Nanami Kento. “Are you mind fucking him too?”

“Shut up,” you mumbled which only made Gojo laugh. But it quickly subsided, curiosity filling the white haired man.

“So what’s holding you two back?” he asked.

“I can’t date my boss,” you said. “I mean, I guess I can but…I don’t know. He deserves someone better than me. He’s a famous CEO. I’m trying to get into fashion and—“

“The man is CEO of 7:3 Security. You’re his only secretary and has been supportive of your fashion dream. He’s helping you create a business by looking over drafts of a business plan and your designs on top of handling his business stuff. He bought fabric! And they aren’t cheap, Princess.” You were quiet. “What type of guy does it for a woman he might just be attracted to?”

“Rich guys?” Gojo chuckled.

“We are begging you two to stop dancing around each other. You are worth it for him. I don’t know why he’s freaking holding back.” You blushed, and a smile formed on your face.

“He knows I want him to say something first,” you said. “He’s likes challenges with me. But I didn’t think he would be this—“

“Patient? Yeah, he’s usually patient with you.” You chuckled again. You always watched Nanami lose his cool around everyone else, specially Gojo.

“Thank you. That cheered me up.” He sheepishly chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck.

You told your co-workers that you would lock up as you wanted to finish putting together the gown before adding in the details of it. Nanami’s office was the only light on the floor. Once you finished, you tried it on and you twirled happily in front of the full-length mirror Nanami purchased for you before he left. You mentally planned out the details you wanted to add and the mental picture gave you full satisfaction. You wanted to stay in the office all night. And to be honest, you might.

“You should be at home resting.” The sudden voice made you scream. You turned around as your hand rested on your racing heart. But now it raced with the strong feelings you hold for him instead of panic and fear. He stood there casually, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. His beige suit jacket folded and resting on his arm and the sleeves of his blue button up rolled halfway up his arms. Nanami walked closer to you. His hands were on your shoulders and he studied you with your gown. “Beautiful.”

“I-I mean, it’s nothing,” you answered. “It’s only halfway done.”

“You look beautiful with it on,” he said. You notice the bright glint in his eyes. “You used some of the fabric I bought.”

“They worked best on the gown,” you mumbled shyly. “H-How was the business trip?”

“Boring,” he answered as he leaned back against his dress to look at you again. “Although, I got the deal from someone I’ve been working hard to get. So I guess it is also a success.”

“I’m glad to hear, Kento,” you replied happily.

“I can drive you home,” he said. You shook your head. “Sweetheart.”

“It’s funny how you address me as sweetheart,” you said as you unzipped the back of your dress. Nanami held his breath, eyes gazing at your body and wondering what your next move was. “Since when did you ask me to be your girlfriend, Kento?” Nanami smirked but it quickly faltered when you let the gown slip down to your ankles.

You looked so innocent, as if undressing in front of him was a normal thing. Nanami could feel himself harden and his body screaming at him to hold you close to him as he kissed you passionately. He would press his hand behind the back of your head and gently grab your hair while pressing your lips close to his. He wanted to so bad.

“This is cruel, sweetheart.” But he didn’t sound hurt. You could hear his teasing tone. He watched you dress in your casual dress. He watched you button the front and tie the waist wrap.

“It’s my confident boost,” you said with a wink as you walked closer to him.

“Confidence for what?” he asked curiously. You cleared your throat and took a deep breath.

“Am I good enough for you?” you asked. Mood and tone suddenly changed. You were nervous and doubtful. Nanami watched you avoid his gaze. His fingers cupped your chin to slowly lift your gaze up to him.

“Now what makes you say that?” You shrugged. You thought about all the famous models, celebrities, and other female business owners out there. They were all beautiful and successful.

“Insecurities,” you simply answered with a small, sheepish smile. Nanami lightly chuckled and kissed the top of your forehead.

“Don’t be, sweetheart,” Nanami said. “What makes you insecure? Hm?” You blushed that could only make Nanami chuckle. “You are beautiful and must I say, very sexy. I look forward to the days you wear dresses and skirts.” He felt you playfully hit his chest.

“Kento!” Nanami laughed.

“I admire your passion. It makes you a hard worker. And you don’t let anyone get to you. If you do, you’re good at hiding it and proving the fuckers wrong. Everything you do is endearing. I can’t look at any other woman except you. All I can think about is you. In my book, you are good enough.” He stood closer, closing the gap between you two as he cupped your face. “I want you. I need you. And I think you want and need the same thing, sweetheart.”

The tip of your noses touched and he pressed his forehead against yours. You felt dizzy with your heart racing wildly. His scent, his voice, his touch, and his eyes drove you crazy. But your prolonged silence was making him impatient. His hand pressed against the back of your head and crashed his lips on yours. You immediately wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him back with the same passion and desperation. His other hand cupped the side of your face and deepened the kiss. He slowly pulled away and left a soft kiss on your forehead.

“Be mine, sweetheart,” he said. “I want to give you the world. You deserve it all.”

“You’ve been mine,” you said. “I just needed you to confirm that first.” Nanami chuckled.

“I like a good challenge, sweetheart. I couldn’t deny you any longer.” You quickly chuckled.

“It’s like you heard me and Gojo-san talked.”

“Because he talked to me too. Should’ve told me you wanted me to confess first.”

“I can’t make the obvious more obvious, Kento,” you said with a soft laugh.

“Fair enough, sweetheart.”

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barsformars · 1 year

Text

Lemonade

g - pure fluff

p - wooyoung x f! reader

w.c - 1023

t.w - none

c - you help out at wooyoung’s brother school carnival and get mistaken for his parents.

a.n - idk what inspired me to write this but i think its quite cute and i want a love like this frfr

it’s two in the afternoon on a saturday and you somehow find yourself in an indoor sports hall surrounded by parents and their elementary school children for their school induction carnival.

“so why am i here again?” you leaned back to whisper into wooyoung’s ears, smiling at the group of young teachers walking past your lemonade stand as they gushed about how they weren’t aware kyungmin parents were this young and beautiful.

“please give lots of love to kyungmin!” wooyoung waved at them with a bright smile which was reciprocated with even bigger smiles and head nods. “seems like kyungmin’s going to be popular,” wooyoung commented. the teachers weren’t the only ones, other parents seemed to share the same sentiment.

you pushed wooyoung’s fringe to the side, clearing his view as he sliced up more lemons. he surely is very handsome, and so you said, “i think you’re the one they care about.”

he laughed under his breath, creasing the corners of his eyes and revealing his dimples clearer than ever. “well, kyungmin is lucky to have such a good looking brother,” wooyoung added on.

you pouted upon hearing that as you pointed at the badge you had pinned on your shirt — ‘kyungmin’s mom’. wooyoung reasoned that they didn’t have time to get it reprinted since his parents had urgent matters to attend to. they felt bad pulling out last minute since it was also on volunteer basis and the school needed as much support as they could get. you had suggested writing over it but he whined that it would be ugly, and also harmless even if they mistook the both of you for his parents.

“i feel like i’m committing fraud,”you confessed softly, “this is the first time the parents are meeting each other, and we aren’t even actually them.”

wooyoung was about to lean in for a peck when a customer arrived at the stall with her daughter, ordering two cups of iced lemonade. he quickly puts on his million-dollar smile, his voice laced with honey as he sweetly makes small talk. “what class is our pretty jihyun in?” he asked, his gentle eyes shifting from her name tag to her little face.

you did your part by pouring the drinks and covering the lids before passing them to wooyoung, who very swiftly wrote a cute note on the cups while still holding the conversation.

“kyungmin eomma, your husband is so sweet, you’re so lucky!” the lady called out to you. you awkwardly thanked her and you can already see the weird faces wooyoung was making at you from the corner of your eyes.

once the lady and her daughter had walked away, you pushed his cheek towards the other side. you didn’t want him to notice how your own were starting to flush. you didn’t want to admit that you enjoyed having wooyoung being referred to as your husband, especially not when neither of you have ever brought up tying the knot yet.

“so i was going to say that you’re basically kyungmin’s honorary mother at this point,” wooyoung said softly from behind you, his hands resting on the side of your hips. he attempted to peek at your face but you shunned, flustered. you still turned to face him, reminded by the fact that this was not the best place for public displays of affection.

“why are you blushing so hard?” wooyoung questioned, genuinely surprised. he had started to think you were getting immune to his ways of affection.

you cupped your face with your hands, wanting to gauge just how red you were — you were burning hot. it did not help that wooyoung was guessing what exactly got you feeling this way, and getting it on the second try.

“you like it when people call me your husband?” he teased. wooyoung knew you long enough to tell that you meant a ‘yes’ despite you pushing him away again. “do you want to be referred to as my wife?”

you shot him a look. it doesn’t hit the same.

“alright, i’ll settle with a one-sided marriage then,” wooyoung joked. “you have yet to proposed though, by the way.”

“would you want to marry me?” your gaze locked with his. if he was serious about it, you would be down for it too.

“of course,” wooyoung replied without hesitation, reaching out to take your hands in his. “i was just kidding earlier on though, i want to be the one proposing,” he clarified.

he had been thinking about bringing this topic up for quite some time but the two of you have been too busy pursuing your own careers. but wooyoung realised that if he kept letting that excuse stop him, it would never happen till he retires. he’s not going to make you wait that long, even if you were willing.

you swiftly checked your surroundings before sneaking a peck on his lips, “thank you for always wanting me in your life, i feel very loved.” you may have refused his initial invitation to help out at the carnival with him but it didn’t mean that you didn’t appreciate it. you were always the first person on his mind, and always the person he chooses to go to regardless of the matter.

“and thank you for wanting to be with me, i love you, lots,” wooyoung replied before engulfing you in his arms. he couldn’t wait to live out the rest of his life with you, going on exciting adventures or staying at home accompanying each other in silence or doing simple things like slicing up and juicing lemons in an elementary school’s indoor sports hall.

“you know what they say about making lemonade when life throws you lemons,” wooyoung said as he suppressed a smirk.

“uhuh…”

“what do you do then when life gives you love?”

you slapped him on the shoulder and lightly shoved him to the side. “this is not the best place for that kind of jokes, woo!”

#ateez fluff #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez oneshots #ateez drabbles #ateez writings #ateez reactions #ateez #wooyoung fluff #ateez wooyoung

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vampireknight-analysis · 15 days

Text

Yuki's Evolution of Feelings toward Zero [Pt1]

Vampire Knight, Ch 1 - 29.

"I was so desperate to help."

Prior to the start of Vampire Knight, Yuki repeatedly suffered through night terrors over the vampire attack. It wasn't until Zero came to live with her that the night terrors stopped. Yuki found purpose in helping someone else. She felt a compelling drive to be there for Zero, desperate to help the suffering she could see before her eyes.

"You're like... a younger brother who needs looking after."

At the start of Vampire Knight, Yuki feels a brotherly affection for Zero. She wants to be there for him, offering comfort and companionship, because she believes he doesn't take care of himself.

"I can feel... the pain that you are hiding."

Yuki and Zero's relationship starts to change when Yuki learns how deeply Zero has been suffering. She discovers that he has been in pain for four years, that he is a vampire—which he despises—and that he wants to die.

"Drink my blood, Zero. You'll feel better... if only for a little while."

Overwhelmed by this, Yuki throws herself into trying to become his salvation and save him. Even knowing how much Zero will hate himself for it, she pleads with him to drink her blood. She refuses to let him end his life.

"That's because... I want you to smile too."

During this time, Yuki focuses entirely on Zero, often urging him to drink her blood. She tells him she is trying to stay cheerful for his sake, hoping to make him happier and help him smile again.

Her empathy and selflessness seem limitless. She even offers herself to Maria/Shizuka in exchange for information on how to save Zero. Determined to save him, she stands in his way when he tries to take revenge on Shizuka, using her bracelet to try to subdue him, wanting to force him to drink Shizuka's pureblood.

A conversation with Shizuka reveals to us that Yuki is self-aware that her efforts to save Zero have also caused him pain and suffering. She understands that her actions have been more about what she wants than what Zero wants.

"This is what I've always feared."

Ever since realizing the depths of Zero's pain and self-hatred, Yuki has become terrified of him ending his own life, and has gone to great lengths to prevent him from going down the route of suicide. This leads to a moment where Zero, confused by her desperation and concern, embraces her. But it’s her genuine care that makes him promise to stay alive and come back to her, even after killing Shizuka.

"If you bit me and drank my blood, wouldn't you get better right away?"

Even after the death of Shizuka, Yuki remains adamant on being Zero's permanent food source, gifting him her blood for the rest of her life in hopes of it preventing him from falling to Level E.

She takes time to talk with Zero, telling him she's glad he's still with her and that she'll always stand by his side. Yuki admits that she was so desperate to keep him alive and felt so helpless that she would have forced him, against his will, to drink Shizuka's blood if it meant saving him.

It is this deep care and desperation to keep him alive that leads Zero to ask her:

"What am I... to you?"

This is the first time Yuki has considered what her feelings for Zero are or what they mean. Until now, she never gave it much thought, leaving her confused and unsure of how to respond.

She begins to sort through her emotions. She is scared of what could happen to Zero (becoming a Level E vampire or dying). She wants to see him happy and at peace. And now, she also begins to wonder...

"What am I... to Zero?"

Their relationship grows deeper. In a vulnerable moment, after dreaming about Yuki's death, Zero nearly kisses her, driven by his longing for her. Yuki becomes fully aware that he was just about to kiss her.

"I wonder how he felt... about my reaction."

Yuki becomes embarrassed and fixated on the kiss, constantly thinking about it whenever she sees Zero. Clearly flustered, she wonders how Zero felt about her reaction to the almost-kiss, but she’s confused. They’ve always been like siblings—friends, even best friends…

Yuki keeps replaying Zero’s words in her mind, telling herself the almost-kiss meant nothing and that he wasn’t in his right mind. She watches him closely, comparing his calm demeanor to her own flustered state, and uses his composure to reassure herself that it really didn’t mean anything.

In the end, Yuki realizes that Zero is precious to her. That’s who he is to her.

"I don't want my problems to get in the way."

After Yuki agrees to Kaname's request to turn her into a vampire, she shares her thoughts with Zero, wondering if she should go through with it and what good might come of it.

Upon Zero's angered response, she soon realizes her mistake and feels upset for bringing up something so sensitive, especially knowing how much Zero has suffered. Feeling desperate and guilty for not being more focused on him, Yuki decides to remember her past to try to be more helpful to Zero.

"...Zero, I'm so scared."

The dynamics of their relationship begin to shift once more, now with Zero coming in to put more of a focus on Yuki's well being and emotional state. He suggests and supports her in discovering her past.

When Yuki continues to keep her feelings locked away tightly, afraid of being a burden, Zero insists on the fact that she is his victim in all of this and that she has every right to burden him. Yuki breaks down and, for the first time, finally opens up about her own dilemmas. She becomes vulnerable and admits to him how scared she is about her past.

#vampire knight #vampire knight memories #yuki #zero #zeki

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rivangel · 1 year

Text

Share - PT.1/4

pairing: Erwin/Levi

summary: At no particular place or time, Erwin and Levi were together, and now in ways both beyond Levi's most hopeful dreams and anxious nightmares. What does it mean to be together? There is no rulebook for this.

They'll make their own.

content/warnings: fluffy, hurt/comfort, canonverse, established relationship, Levi needs a hug so bad, DC (cutting/sh), low self-esteem, Levi has ocd, intimacy, lack of communication | 5.4k

note: here i am posting a longfic on my tumblr after many centuries of not👍 why not? even though it’s ship content on tumblr.com? well i’m bored also, there is a graphic scene of sh which can be skipped by passing the *******

ohhh and for the uninitiated, this series is a part of a bigger series on my ao3 about my favorite ships being virgins😌this is the final one, with this ch serving as a prologue.

| next chapter |

Just speak. Just ask, ‘Hey, Erwin.’ 'Hey, Blondie. Serious question.’ Speak. You won’t have this type of privacy again for the rest of the day, and then you’ll be too weak yet again to just ask.

“Is there anything you wanted to add to your report, Levi?”

Erwin had been sifting through files on the shelves, but his head is turned to look at him now. Levi just submitted recommendations for two new potential squad leaders to replace the dead. He could elaborate to cover up the fact he stood there for too long, ask, or just say no, and seem suspicious.

What he has been trying to do for a week is to ask Erwin on a date—it’s not like it’s a crazy leap. They’ve been together in this way for a while, known each other much longer, and it’s not the first time they’ve had a date. Only, Erwin has ever asked.

He has poured over all the different ways and settings Erwin has asked: slipping the question into whatever conversation effortlessly with an almost boyish hopefulness… his voice containing a charming lilt to get Levi’s attention. His eyes are impossible to look away from, excited and yet subdued to play off that excitement. And he’s so romantic… it’s impossible not to get flustered. That’s the way Erwin is.

And anyway, Erwin wouldn’t laugh in his face like Levi almost did straight after the first time they kissed, but.

Levi isn’t a people person, or charismatic, or that suave unless you count being a smartass. He can’t express himself like Erwin does, even when he genuinely feels hopeful and excited at the prospect of asking Erwin on a date himself.

Plus, he has an idea in mind already. It took a while to think up, wanting to be original, which excluded horseback-riding in the country, reading together, and so on, because Erwin is too good at dating. Of course he is, having committed to a woman for quite some time in his past (who is now Nile’s wife).

'I’ve gotten tired of sleeping in that chair. For once, we should share the bed.’

To be even more fair, Levi sleeps near Erwin most nights, but never in his bed. A chair sits near a small round table at the window. In the beginning, sleeping there meant creeping in at the middle of the night. Levi won’t think of himself as a brat that needs coddling after a nightmare, but… the proximity to Erwin helps. And those mornings, neither of them mentions it.

For not the first time, he wonders if sleeping in the same bed even qualifies as a date idea. And that question saps the rest of the wind from his sails.

“…No,” he answers. He wants to slip out in the next two seconds, but he’s forced to leave as casually as he came in to save face. He reserves his weak knees and closed lungs for the hallway.

A groan of frustration gets lodged in his throat as his fists curl by his sides. He failed again.

His feet begin to walk without any command or goal. He decides to go back to his own quarters just downstairs to rein his thoughts and feelings in so they aren’t overwhelming when he can’t afford them to be. Case in point, when he and Erwin have dinner this evening, like they do most evenings.

A fresh rush of anxiety plunges into the pit in his stomach. He walks faster.

He deserves another punishment for his cowardice. He planned that in advance—if he failed again, he’d do it again. The same way he always punishes himself.

Adjacent to his office, inside his personal quarters and his bathroom, he kneels, and slides out the false bottom of a bathroom drawers. Contained in it are three closed switchblades, from small and relatively dull to a switchblade Levi would and has brought to a major fight; plus one razor.

He plucks out the razor blade. Familiar. Damning.

The only reason he keeps all these supplies, and needs a hiding place, is because he fails at expectations, set by himself or otherwise.

It’d be considered stupid to do it, knowing how much damage just one cut can do. But he of course knows how to keep it clean. Very few have ever gotten infected, and not since leaving the Underground.

It’s true that since he lost… his friends, that punishments accelerated over the months. It’s been a few years, and he hasn’t gone back to his plain method as a teenager.

Like when he was learning to read and write, and on a day he didn’t improve, he would then slip into a place he wouldn’t be found and punish himself, before he became Captain.

Getting reprimanded by superior officers never bothered him. He was then surprised when it began to, as it bothered Erwin somewhere around the time he was sworn in as Commander. After all, Levi was promoted the same day from nothing. Failing Erwin became a grievous offense in his mind.

(It was considered favoritism to skip ranks, but Erwin argued that it was a long time coming. Levi’s skill spoke for itself, but Shadis always held a grudge against him for being himself, which was fair enough.)

Ironically, Erwin would hate if he knew he harmed himself, no matter the reason. That’s why he won’t understand that he deserves this.

He tells himself that. And he tells himself he will stop when he stops failing. An impossible goal, but a goal.

An excuse. If he didn’t get some sick satisfaction out of this, he should dread it more and think about it less. With an ensuing wave of nausea, he knows that.

Well, he deserves punishment for wallowing in his own self-pity too. The cycle continues.

**********

He rolls up his sleeve. Sitting on the edge of the tub, a cloth pinned between his thigh and the top of his arm, and drags the razor idly down below his wrist, out of the way of his veins.

His skin opens in the blade’s wake, flashing white before blood floods the surface and rapidly rolls down. Vicious stinging shoots like a star, searing the wound. He sighs to himself.

It would hurt worse over his ankles or collarbones, or the undersides of his thighs, but it’s not worth his error in this case. Scars of different severity and immense number litter those places, less elsewhere, but they exist just about everywhere. Sometimes, they can be passed off among ones he didn’t cause.

And besides, he wants three together. This is the third time he failed.

He brings the sharp edge down again, evenly spacing the wounds apart. He’s bleeding quite a bit.

With a grueling start, he realizes there isn’t enough unmarred room for the third.

Too bad. Maybe if you weren’t so careless, like you’re careless with him.

It’s fine. He cuts into the scar tissue, applying more force to do so, and inhales sharply as the tough skin opens. His hand doesn’t shake.

The perfect parallel lines get muddled under the streams of blood, which quickly bleed into the washcloth.

He washes off quickly to make sure. It’s acceptable.

**********

That’s three times, three times, three times he’s chickened out on asking Erwin on a stupid date. He just can’t reciprocate like he wants badly to—and he doesn’t know why. He’s so underqualified for a relationship, let alone this one, he can’t help but think. He’s not good enough.

But that’s not an option. Erwin sees something in him, something worthy of his companionship.

Maybe Erwin just hasn’t seen enough of his soul to change his mind.

But… Erwin doesn’t make flippant decisions—in fact he has perfect judgment. Besides, the fact that they are involved like this at all will destroy whoever dies first, and one of them will. That sacrifice can’t be understated. Erwin can’t be wrong about him.

But he doesn’t understand. He can’t understand.

He tapes on a roll of bandage and secures it with a clip. The punishment is done. It feels like enough. It’s fucking deluded, but he can’t ignore the inner tranquility he feels from fulfilling the pattern, the push to do it right next time.

The sunset is turning orange when he walks down to the mess hall and grabs a tray of dinner (two tender rolls and a watery vegetable soup), plus Erwin’s. His comes with a few thick cuts of smoked ham on the side because he’s the Commander. As he deserves.

Levi retrieves it himself both to take some of the load off Erwin’s busy days and so the meat actually gets to him. He often refuses, being too humble; he dislikes special treatment, but as far as Levi’s concerned, it’s his, so he should take it.

Levi feels optimistic after the woman at the counter who hands him the food wishes him a good night, as he inhales the smoky smell of summer in the brisk breeze, but he should attest part of that to the fading rush of what he did earlier.

It isn’t adrenaline. There’s something inherently wrong with him, he’s pretty sure.

Come on. Show him you care already.

With the two trays perfectly balanced in his hand and on his arm, he briskly knocks and comes in without announcing himself like usual. Erwin is still at his desk unsurprisingly, working on papers he looks up from when the door closes behind him.

He spots the tray of food at the same time Levi does the steaming cups of tea he made in advance, and blushes.

“Thank you, Levi.”

Erwin promptly sets his things aside, clearing space so that Levi can set down the tray. Sitting next to him in his own chair (except this one doesn’t swivel), Levi slides his tea over.

“Back at you.”

They eat in tranquil silence, mostly. Erwin does most of the chatting about his day while Levi listens, sometimes giving his own input, and glaring whenever Erwin covertly slides the small plate of ham in his direction.

“Come, Levi. Maybe the extra protein will help you grow.”

He hums sarcastically. “Only stilts will help me now. Don’t bother.”

Erwin laughs. “Perhaps I’ll invest in stilts.”

“Don’t you dare.”

Something about that laugh makes him remember what he wanted to ask. Suddenly he loses his appetite, with only a little left on his plate. He finishes eating anyway.

Somehow Erwin notices his shift in mood. Supported maybe by that awkward moment earlier.

Finally, Levi sits back in his chair, holding his hands over his lap as he stares pensively out at nothing. Erwin pretends he doesn’t notice as he groups their dirty dishes together.

“Erwin,” he manages. Fortunately it doesn’t come out in a croak. “Serious question.”

Someone knocks on the door. A woman’s voice calls out, “Trays?”

Levi inwardly cringes at the way he startled by the sudden noise. Erwin makes an impatient sound, and tells him ‘one moment’ before picking them up and crossing the room.

Levi doesn’t pay much attention. But he still pick up on how flustered the Scout sounds that the Commander himself would bring the dirty food tray to her, as if he didn’t do the bare minimum. Taking it in stride as always, Erwin is polite when he tells her it’s no problem.

It’s almost like fate wants him to fail. Levi taps his forearm three times, hidden under the desk. He probably only looks mildly irritated, but inside, he’s a nervous wreck.

Erwin comes back too soon and yet not soon enough, now turned in his chair to face him. Levi forces himself to look him in the eye.

“What was your question?”

“Date,” he blurts out. “We should… date. Make one happen.”

Not exactly a question. His cheeks instantly feel fiery hot as soon as he manages that much. Erwin begins to smile, then more, and hides it behind his hand.

He narrows his eyes. “What.”

“You’re…” A chuckle escapes him. “It’s nothing. You're—just cute. Don’t glare, Levi!—You’re making it worse!” he laughs.

Levi rubs his fist across his mouth as if to erase the blush stretching to his ears. Cute. His mind goes blank.

“What did you have in mind?” Erwin asks, still smiling, but openly now.

For a moment Levi doesn’t even remember the idea he had, before it dawns on him. He repeats it the way he planned: “It’s nothing groundbreaking. I’ve gotten tired of sleeping in that chair. So for once, we should share the bed.”

Erwin’s eyes go a little wide, clearly enthused. “Good idea.”

He crosses his arms. “Sure it is,“ he retorts. "Still. I really put my blood sweat and tears into coming up with it.”

“It’s a great idea,” he amends. “Would this date be only for one night?”

He’s teasing him. Levi pouts. “That depends on if I have to ask every time.”

“That’s tempting… but no.”

“Good answer. If it still qualifies as a date at that point.”

Erwin chuckles, still looking at him with those stars in his eyes. Levi fails to see what’s funny.

“I’ve come to the conclusion that time planned to spend together qualifies.”

He blinks. “Even slumped at your desk working?”

“Even then.”

“I see.”

That changes everything. Not for the first time, he wishes there was a handbook for this. If he knew he didn’t have to agonize over this so much, well, he could’ve spent less time in agony.

Well it worked out. The question that’s left is whether he’s a bad bedmate, if he does sleep. When he was young, he was both taught and learned the hard way that there’s no other time you’re most vulnerable than asleep, especially laying down and confined under covers. But he will be next to Erwin, which is a variable to consider.

He feels giddy.

“Do you have anything comfortable to wear?” Erwin asks. His raised brow lets him know that they both know the answer to that.

“What’re you implying?”

“A solution.”

Levi crosses his arms, following Erwin with his eyes as he crosses his office, to his personal quarters. When he looks back, he stands and follows.

For some reason, a wave of peace follows closing the door. It’s not because his quarters are nice (although they very much are, but just as decorated as Levi’s, which is hardly), or even because it’s familiar. It’s a unique air, unique only to Erwin. He feels comfortable within the smells of trimmed pine needles, laundry, and a scent relative to fresh cinnamon.

Feeling comfortable is a conflicting concept to him. Everyone likes feeling comfortable, but it’s alien to him. Unknown. And the unknown is dangerous.

He lets it go. If any emergency could possibly come up, he’ll take care of it.

A walk-in closet is attached to Erwin’s large bedroom. Levi always thought that his bed looks too big for even him, and the last time Levi slept on a mattress like that must’ve been when he was very young. For no reason he can define, nervousness pricks him again.

“I doubt any of my pants could fit you.” Erwin gestures with his hand to shirts hanging up. “What about those?”

He has worn Erwin’s clothes before. The only reason it’s not reciprocated is because it’s impossible.

He pretends to spend a minute rifling through them and deciding. Contrary to what most may believe, most of Erwin’s casual clothes are soft to the touch. Cardigans, tunic sweaters, simple loose shirts with minimal buttons, woolen things.

Levi has no taste in fashion, really. There’s his uniform, and whatever works that presents the image he wants to present while hiding his body. With or without the self-inflicted scars, his body being looked at by most, just in concept, makes him uncomfortable.

He stops that tumultuous train of thought before it can fall into a ravine, and picks out a simple long-sleeved shirt, almost painfully soft to the touch, and looks up at him. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, Levi.”

Levi worries the inside of his cheek, and then tips his chin up. Smiling softly, Erwin leans down and kisses him.

He changes in the bathroom, and inspects himself in the mirror just long enough and with enough attention to detail to gauge that he has nothing to straighten out.

The obvious is his lack of pants. He wouldn’t mind wearing just boxer briefs in front of Erwin if it weren’t for his scars. The most line the undersides of his thighs, but there are thick scars on his thighs in general; the tops of his feet too, and the bony parts of his ankles. Visible for their milky color when they aren’t severe. A few sloppily ripped into his skin as a relic of blind violence.

But luckily, the shirt’s thin material sways around his mid-thighs like a summer dress. You wouldn’t be able to tell that he’s wearing underwear at all.

The sleeves swallow his hands if he lets them, so he rolls them up just enough to cover his wrists, and checks himself in the mirror a final time. He chose a shirt with a snug collar on purpose to hide the scars on his collarbones and neck, but it still just manages not to slide off his shoulder. Well, they won’t be seen in the dark.

It’s good. It’s Erwin’s.

He notices his heart is pounding, a thick and foreboding drumbeat in his chest, and he’s a little short of breath. He should enjoy himself—but there’s so much that could go wrong. Waking up Erwin with a nightmare, or…

Enough. He spreads his fingers and taps them together three times, and does the same to his bandaged forearm. Like a sturdy shield being constructed in his mind from what-if’s. That makes him feel better.

He kills the lantern with a twist of the knob, and turns the brass doorknob that feeds into the bedroom. It’s dimly lit by a candle on the bedside, which smells strongly of lavender. Erwin looks up when he does so.

He sits on the edge of the bed, also in boxers and a shirt, which makes his heart flutter. Did he do that because of the summer heat, or to make Levi feel less awkward? He doesn’t want to think about it.

He stands, the door not even opened all the way so as to hide his legs.

He looks pointedly at the tall candle, and back to Erwin. He obediently pinches it out without question.

It’s darker, but by light of the waxing moon piercing faintly through the curtains, he can still see his way to Erwin’s bed. He wants to lay closest to the door, where Erwin is sitting.

He doesn’t move at all, though. Not until Levi is near enough to take his hand. Erwin brings it to his lips, and presses a kiss to his knuckles.

The lump in his throat appears again with a vengeance.

“What’re you doing…?” he murmurs.

“Kissing you, my love,” he softly replies.

His heart leaps, his breathing stammers.

He pushes Erwin down to the bed and plants himself on top, seizing his collar with both hands and kissing him hard.

He’s straddling Erwin’s waist. They gravitate to each other as naturally as rain to the earth, with Erwin matching his passion breath for breath, and his arms thrown around him to bring him down closer. Like he wanted this just as badly as Levi didn’t know he did.

Doesn’t he? Levi has made fantasies out of desires plenty of times; being underneath Erwin in bed or below him in his office, with his warm hands completely encompassing his upper thighs, no mind paid to the battlefield his body is. But those fantasies always cut themselves off after a certain point, when they begin to hurt. They sour.

One more aspect of their intimate relationship that has troubled him immensely is being hurt when the time comes.

He has no qualms about pleasuring Erwin when at the cost of his own pain, but the pain is the reason the fantasies end—when Erwin finishes undressing him or pushes him down. It’s easy to imagine the shame, and on the outside, the aches, pains, and bruises after the fact, and hates his imagining. In the mirror, he’ll see his mother’s face.

But it’s a fact he should accept soon. It’s going to hurt, and Erwin will be the one to inflict it on him. Pain changes nothing, because he knows that Erwin feels about Levi the same way he does him.

It’s normal. And it makes him abnormal for thinking so, but he could never imagine himself in Erwin’s position.

The way his daydreams about Erwin—the beginnings of them—turned him on cemented that decision. He should get over it. Erwin is so good to him, better than Levi could ever have dreamed of being treated. He will get over it.

At the top of his chest, turmoil twists his insides as Erwin lovingly strokes his waist, under his shirt. That, and his belly roiling with heat is a distressing and strange combination.

He hears himself whine as their tongues slide together, tasting mint and his warm mouth. Erwin, grasping at his shirt like Levi is the only thing he ever wanted. It feels good.

That isn’t right.

But he’s not allowed to stop him.

After what feels like forever, Erwin rolls them over so he’s finally underneath him. The shift has Levi’s shirt ride up his middle.

He cards his fingers through soft blond hair, opening his legs and hooking his teeth in Erwin’s bottom lip to play off the terror creeping inside and making a home in his blood.

Erwin groans. Levi hates that he wants to cry, like a pathetic brat.

At least his scars can’t be noticed in the dark. And Erwin will be happy. He simply grips Erwin’s shirtsleeves and focuses on obeying.

Levi gasps down his throat when Erwin pushes his hips down against his own. The front of his boxers is hard, much bigger and a little harder than his own.

The lash of amazing friction makes him grip tighter, and moan, and that lump in his throat grow even heavier. This is moving so fast it’s hard to keep up. He wants to roll over and curl into a ball.

He lets it happen and makes no effort to move one way or the other. He should just be grateful that it hasn’t sunk in yet.

Their joined hands slide his shirt up more. It’s dark in this room, but not so dark that Erwin won’t spot the bandage. He doesn’t want him to see, but maybe he can just lie and brush it off. If he noticed an injury on Levi he didn’t know about, he wouldn’t let it go until he knew what happened.

That’s too much right now. He wants to get this over with so it can be over. Even though there will be a next time, he always knew the first time would be the most difficult to get through. After, he’ll find ways to get used to it, but he will always enjoy giving Erwin pleasure. There is nothing Levi wouldn’t go through for him.

Their lips part for a moment so Levi’s shirt can come off. In their haste, their hands touch again, and even through the darkness, veiled in shadows, it’s clear to feel how badly Levi is shaking.

Erwin makes his worst fear come true by pausing. They’re both breathing hard. Erwin faintly squeezes his hand and gazes down at him encouragingly.

“You’re not the only one who’s nervous.”

Levi opens his mouth to say he’s not, but the words can’t come out. Does Erwin want to get this over with like he does? That hurts, so much worse than if Erwin didn’t feel anything.

He’s shaking like a leaf, and it’s hard to breathe now. He feels his control unraveling, like a roof collapsing. That’s not even the most distressing thing of all, but it’s close.

Erwin unhands his shirt, bringing their hands down over Levi’s wildly racing heart.

“What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head in attempts to be dismissive. It’s one thing to ruin something, but another to feel it happening as you do it.

“I’m fine,” he grits out. “Just do it.”

“Do… Do what?”

“Why do you sound so confused?” he sneers. It’s much, much easier to be angry than… whatever this is. “I’m not going to resent you. Hurry up.”

Erwin does the exact opposite of hurry up. He leans back. “…I think we’re both confused. The only reason you’d resent me is if… I hurt you. Do you think that’s what I want to do?”

Levi stares at him through the darkness. The more he does, the clearer is the outline of Erwin’s perplexed and troubled look, and especially his eyes. They’re bright in the dark.

His silence is answer enough.

“This isn’t supposed to be painful,” Erwin says, intentionally even. An honest, logical statement. Levi keeps staring, eyes growing wider.

Erwin leans back more so he’s sitting up and climbs off of him, while he’s more or less frozen still.

“You know that you can tell me to stop, don’t you?”

The answer is no. But that’s when the answer to his ongoing discomfort clicks. The biggest reason he resented those fantasies is because Erwin wouldn’t put him through pain.

He is suddenly crushed by guilt.

“What made you think you couldn’t?” he asks softly. Levi tenses up. Even now, Erwin is being kind and thoughtful towards him.

What is the answer?—because he has to muster one. Living his life? He’s never had true experience, but he has experiences. And they teach.

“…I was born in the Underground,” he states. Like the cold conciseness of silence, that should be answer enough.

Erwin knows of some details. Their pasts in general never come up on purpose, but when they sometimes do, they do talk. Even though Levi willingly expands on his past less than 'sometimes’, and he remembers very little about his childhood, Erwin knows what that answer means.

Levi finally, and slowly, sits up. “…Don’t even wonder if it’s your fault.”

Erwin nods in the dark. He sighs, like a weight has been lifted. “Levi… It will never hurt. And we’ll always want to, the entire time. If that changes, we’ll stop. I need you to know that.”

A little voice wants him to believe that Erwin is exaggerating, or that those rules apply only to themselves because Levi is too weak to go through actual sex.

Maybe that’s that problem. He keeps thinking of it like ‘going through’ it. If it’s like he says and everyone involved is supposed to ‘enjoy’ it, then that shouldn’t be the case.

“…Even when… it’s being done to you?” he asks.

Erwin innocently places his hand on his knee. “Nothing is being done to anyone. It’s equal. Sometimes that intentionally doesn’t seem like the case, but in the end it always will be. Anything else… is an attack.”

“…I see.”

Levi thinks through what he’s just learned. What she went through then… was just pain.

While on the other side of the bed, Erwin turns on a lantern as low as it can light, to avoid the abrasive brightness of a candle. Erwin, always thinking of him.

He sits beside him. Levi sits up a little straighter so they resemble more of an equal height.

“Were those your intentions from the start?” Erwin asks.

He scoffs. “No. My lame idea was real. But when you did what you did earlier, I just… wanted…”

He struggles. What did he want? What he can never have?

“…I wanted to ease the burden for you. You couldn’t have predicted it would be like this.”

“The burden of what?”

It’s one of those very rare moments when Erwin sounds downright confused. Levi meets his eye intently then pointedly looks down at himself with a vague gesture between them.

“Not in general. Just,” he scoffs again. He takes Erwin’s limp hand. “About this.”

“…L-evi.”

He’s shocked again. Erwin’s voice breaks in one word. He hopes he’s mishearing. There is so much they experience to be depressed about. He can’t be another cause.

Levi lets him go and folds his knees to his chest, taking a shivering breath in. “I’m not good at this. I’m not even passing at it. For you. I can’t seem to be…”

Erwin turns towards him to compensate for the distance he created. “Levi, who ever said I needed you to be anything?”

It’s frankly impossible to see what face he’s making in the dark until he leans in closer, and he can feel Erwin’s presence close to his leg, and listen to his words more clearly.

“You have your own mind. That’s not a detriment. This…” He squeezes his knee. “…is not a challenge. It’s nothing you need to train for. When I don’t understand something new, it’s easy to see it as such.

"Whether something is a challenge or not, learning is always at the root. You’re not a burden because you’re learning. If you ever have any doubts, you are not a burden to me.”

It dawns on him when of course Erwin explains it. He… still doesn’t understand how he can be good enough just by being, but it’s not his responsibility to pick apart Erwin’s feelings.

No mastering this? No general technique? He needs several moments to process.

Feelings and what to do with them have never presented any technique or mastery. They’re fluid, sometimes complex, and often enough messy. And intrinsically connected to sex.

He doesn’t know his feelings, what to do with them, how to pick them apart or even name them.

But he would do anything to see Erwin smile. He doesn’t want Erwin to leave him behind. He wants to kiss Erwin, be held in such a deep and warm embrace, and listen to him talk. Levi won’t touch that feeling with a thirty-foot pole.

But Erwin would do those things for him. Including help him learn about this.

Levi sighs silently. “I didn’t know there was anything you don’t understand,” he retorts.

Erwin chuckles to himself, but there’s little humor in it. “As people, I think that’s always the case. But if you want proof, I haven’t done what you proposed earlier either.”

Oh.

Levi practically gawks, mostly unseen, but Erwin can read his shocked silence.

“Is that surprising?”

He sounds satisfied with himself. Levi scoffs. “It’s surprising you felt any need to spell it out.”

“I do know some things. But the learning has yet to happen.”

He huffs, reaching and playfully flicking his ear.

He snickers and tries to snag Levi’s wrist. Levi’s faster, though, and takes his hand, then both his hands. Erwin playfully struggles, knowing he can’t win. Eventually Levi gets fed-up and hugs his arms. At that point, his laughter has become infectious, and the sensation of his lips stretching into a smile is odd-feeling.

Levi brews some calming tea to soothe their woes, and as usual, in silence that’s comfortable. It warms his belly. At around midnight, it’s time for their date.

Going back to bed is easy, just something that he gets used to. The silky sheets feel like just as much of an embrace as Erwin, curled up behind him does. The pillow under his head is plush like a cloud, and although it’s summer, it’s not uncomfortably warm.

Sleep is difficult to reach, but he didn’t expect much different. After Erwin’s breathing becomes slow and even, Levi’s mind continues to race, but he can’t pinpoint what he’s even thinking.

He thinks… that he likes not liking feeling comfortable next to Erwin. Something to learn.

It felt good, earlier. His weight pressing him down, or the drag against his cock right as he throbbed. He would like to try it again. Soon.

Thoughts and wonderings blur more and more until his mind is subdued and quiet. He falls asleep long before dawn, which is saying something.

When dawn does break, in some odd turn of events, he slept like a rock, not having moved an inch. Erwin however is more intertwined with him than before, legs tangled and his breath soft and slow at the back of his neck. His arm is Levi’s pillow..

To none of his surprise, he likes waking up next to Erwin.

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#eruri #erwin x levi #aot fanfiction #aot ship #levi ackerman x erwin smith #erwin smith x levi ackerman #captain levi x erwin #erwin smith x levi #eruri fluff #eruri smut #eruri fanfic #eruri fanfiction

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tameodesza · 11 months

Text

Dead Ends (BretShawn) ch.7

<<ch.6 | masterlist | AO3 link | ch.7>>

Summary: Shawn attempts to comfort Bret as he mourns the loss of his parents.

Date: May 14, 1996 Time: 5:45 pm Location: Hart House

After double-checking that the Walkers were dead, Shawn made his way down into the basement to scope out the area, the blond wanting to avoid any more surprise visitors.

After determining that the coast was clear, he headed back up the steps, later emerging from the house to find Bret sitting on the porch blankly staring at the ground.

Shawn slowed his pace, silently standing behind Bret unknowing of what to say to the broken man. There was nothing he could say to make the situation any better.

Shawn sighed before sitting down awkwardly next to Bret, mindfully keeping a short distance between them. Without thinking, he raised a hand meant to pat Bret on the shoulder but stopped short, bringing his hand back to himself.

He hadn’t always been the best at comforting others, and fighting for his life every day certainly hadn’t softened him up. So he sat there quietly hoping his presence would be enough to let Bret know he was there for him.

He wouldn’t wish what happened to Bret on his own worst enemy. As much as they didn’t get along, Shawn still had some sort of care for the man, though he probably wouldn’t describe it as that. He tolerated him at best. But regardless, he didn’t want Bret going through this alone.

For a moment, the only sound between them was the wind rustling the leaves in the surrounding trees. The silence was broken when Bret sniffed and rubbed at his eyes before saying what was really on his mind.

He whispered, “I couldn’t even face them.” Shawn glanced at Bret, analyzing his solemn expression as the man continued. “After all they’ve done for me, I couldn’t even see them out. Some son I am, right?” He ended with a humorless chuckle.

Shawn furrowed his brows, not liking the way Bret was beating himself up over a situation that was out of his control.

“You saved yourself a world of pain. Trust me,” the blond offered.

“I just don’t get it. None of this makes sense. My siblings were supposed to be here taking care of them. But where were they?”

“Who knows?”

“I’m starting to think they left to fend for themselves.” The thought alone was chilling.

Shawn shrugged, “Maybe. Nothing in this world surprises me.”

Bret sighed, resting his head atop his clasped hands, saying, “I still can’t believe my parents didn’t make it. My dad was the toughest guy I’d known. My mother was extremely bright. And to think that they were left alone doesn’t make this shit any better.”

Shawn pursed his lips, a slight pain in his chest as he thought of his own parents. He’d come to the conclusion long ago that the likelihood of his parents being alive was slim to none. But as much as it hurt to think it were true, at least he didn’t have to watch them become Walkers before his eyes.

Shawn threw caution to the wind, attempting to comfort the man by saying, “Hey, at least they were together.” Bret threw Shawn a confused look, prompting the blond to say, “Shit, I mean. Fuck, I’m not good at this. Never mind.”

Bret blinked a few times, puzzled at seeing Shawn look so flustered. He said lightly, “No, go ahead.”

Shawn let out a breath, saying, “I just meant that whatever happened to them, they seemed to have went through it together. They were together until the end. Many can’t say the same.”

It was a bit morbid, but Bret did appreciate the sentiment. Bret nodded slowly in thought, saying, “Yeah, I guess that’s true.” Bret cleared his throat and wiped the last of his misty eyes. He let out a mirthless laugh before saying, “You must think I’m such a pussy.”

Bret expected to hear Shawn’s usual harsh banter, but was surprised to see Shawn’s eyebrows knit together, the blond saying almost defensively, “No. I think you’re human, which is something that’s been lacking in this fucked up world - humanity, genuine emotions. Bask in it before you become void of emotions like me.”

At that, Shawn stood up and headed back inside of the house, Bret’s curious eyes following the blond until the door shut behind him.

Bret stayed outside a little while longer, watching the sun set as he took Shawn’s advice and allowed himself to process his emotions. He didn’t know if he’d get another moment to have time to himself, so he took advantage of the alone time.

He thought of his parents, his favorite memories of them, and hoped that they were together in a better place.

Bret opened the front door, almost running into Shawn who’d just come from upstairs, the blond looking and feeling refreshed.

While Bret was outside, Shawn had taken a quick bird bath in the upstairs bathroom with a rag, soap, and bottled water he’d found. He’d also been fortunate enough to find a battery-powered electric shaver, the tool still having power. It wasn’t as close of a shave as he wanted, it beat having an itchy uneven beard.

Bret did a double take, not used to seeing Shawn without his usual fuzzy beard.

“Hey,” Shawn said warily. “Um, I left some water up there for you. You should go freshen up.”

Bret nodded numbly, letting out a quick ‘thanks’ before walking past Shawn to head upstairs.

Shawn watched him leave, his neutral expression slightly wavering before turning to search for some candles to light the darkening home.

Moments later, Bret came downstairs with a cleanish shave of his own to find Shawn sitting in a chair staring out the large living room window, eyes unmoving as if he were in a trance. He seemed to snap from his daze at the sound of the staircase creaking under Bret’s weight, his eyes landing on the older man as he sat on a couch adjacent to Shawn.

The air grew stiff as an unbearable silence filled the room, Bret making no moves to talk. Shawn shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he looked expectantly at the older man. For better or for worse, Shawn had grown accustomed to the silence being filled by Bret’s voice, and after what had happened earlier in the day, a quiet Bret was a cause for concern.

“How are you holding up,” Shawn eventually asked.

But instead of answering, Bret said, “I’ll take first watch.”

Shawn tilted his head in question. “I think you should rest.”

Bret stood from the couch, walking to Shawn as he said, “I’m fine. Wouldn’t be able to rest anyway if I wanted to.”

“Bret-”

“Get some rest, Shawn. I’m good.”

Shawn took a good look at Bret and noted how exhausted the man appeared, but he also didn’t have the energy to argue with the man as he was tired himself. So he reluctantly nodded before heading to the couch Bret had just occupied.

After getting settled, Shawn said, “Wake me up if you start feeling tired.” Shawn barely heard Bret’s response, the blond immediately falling into a slumber as his head rested on the soft cushion.

Shawn woke up a few hours later, much to his dissatisfaction. He’d always had issues sleeping through the night even before the virus.

He wiped his bleary eyes before shifting around on the couch, intending to go back to sleep. In doing so, he caught a glimpse of an empty chair – an empty chair that Bret should have been sitting in.

Shawn sat up groggily, initially not alarmed as he guessed Bret was in the bathroom. But as the minutes stretched and Shawn failed to hear Bret walking around the home, Shawn quickly became worried.

“Bret,” Shawn called as he looked around the dimly lit room.

After not receiving a response, Shawn got off the couch and grabbed his gun before lightly padding feet on the floor to not make a sound.

Just as he was about to head down a hallway, he noticed something move out the corner of his eye. He swiftly turned his head to a window that faced the backyard. He looked closely, eyes locking on someone standing in the distance. After squinting and examining the outline of a man, he realized it was Bret.

“What the hell,” Shawn uttered, slightly pissed at Bret for leaving him alone and not keeping a look out for Walkers. Shawn took a deep breath, forcing himself to swallow down his anger before making his way out the back door.

He marched towards Bret, saying as he got closer, “Hey, what are you d-” Shawn’s voice got caught in his throat once he saw Bret hunched over with a shovel in his hands and what looked to be a shallow grave before him.

Bret paused mid-shovel at Shawn’s voice, lowering his shovel as he stood to face the blond. “Sorry, Shawn.”

“Why are you out here? Why’d you leave,” Shawn rushed out.

Bret answered dejectedly, “I know I was supposed to stay inside, but I couldn’t rest easy knowing my parents’ bodies were still in the basement. They…I thought they at least deserved a proper burial.”

Bret lowered his head, knowing Shawn had every right to be pissed. He’d left him alone and wasn’t keeping watch, which put them both at risk.

Shawn was stuck, trapped between yelling at the man and slapping some sense into him. But neither came.

Instead of getting chewed out by the blond, Bret was stunned to see Shawn walk off to the toolshed, grabbing a spare shovel as he grumbled, “You could’ve at least woke me up to help.”

Bret watched with raised eyebrows as Shawn stood on the other side of the grave, driving his shovel into the ground to pick up where Bret left off. He said breathlessly, “Shawn-”

“Stop looking and start shoveling. This grave isn’t going to dig itself.”

Bret was slow to move, looking on for a few more seconds before digging his own shovel back into the dirt.

Although it seemed that Shawn didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, Bret was touched. It was in that moment that Bret realized that the blond wasn’t as heartless as he once believed.

After digging the grave deep enough, the men headed back into the house to retrieve Bret’s parents from the basement. Bret carried his mom while Shawn dragged his dad’s body towards the grave, nose twisted at the Walker stench he’d never get used to.

Shawn watched as Bret placed both of the bodies into the grave, the older man being gentler than Shawn would have been.

After saying a final goodbye, Bret picked up the shovel and handed Shawn his own, both men covering the grave with the dirt they’d just dug up.

After they’d settled back into the house, Bret said to Shawn, “Thanks,” truly appreciative of the help he received from Shawn that day.

Shawn only nodded before saying firmly, “Get some rest.” He wasn’t taking no for an answer this time, and thankfully, Bret didn’t protest.

As Bret rested, Shawn stared emptily into the flame of a nearby candle, attempting not to spiral as unwanted memories began to flood back to the surface.

#divider cr: @firefly-graphics #dead ends #zombie au #shawn michaels #bret hart #bret hart x shawn michaels #bretshawn #hartbreak #wwf #wwe fanfiction #alternate universe

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marshmallowprotection · 2 years

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i cannot seem to play my favorite games at all anymore because i get so pissed off i genuinely don't know what to do with myself so um 😅

can i just have yoosung in my lap while he plays instead. 👉👈 i'll rest my chin on his shoulder and wrap my arms around his waist. hold him close for good luck. 💚

nuzzle him and rub my scruffy ass facial hair against his cheek LOL

what gamer chair, yoosung. i am your chair now LMFAOAO

Yoosung has a hard time focusing on any game when you’re in the room. It has a lot to do with the fact that having someone watching him takes away from his concentration... that’s what he says, but he goes to the internet cafe often to do games with his other guild members. His real problem is that you’re watching all the things he does during the game. He wonders if you think he’s not good at it or if you think it’d be easier to do it yourself since the only game he’s used to at this point is LOLOL.

Most of all, he thinks about how hard it is to focus when all he can think about is the fact that you’re touching him, he’s touching you, and his heart is pounding all the way out of his chest. Sometimes, he thinks that he’s used to being with you, but he’s not... every experience with you feels like the first time and it shows all the time that he’s flustered and lost in his feelings. When you touch him, it feels like electricity. It feels right.

Yet, he can’t bring himself to sputter that out loud. He just hides his face in the jacket he’s wearing and continues to attempt to make his way through this part of the game while you praise and guide him when he needs help. His fingers are nudging the buttons, but your lips brush against his ear now and again to tell him what a good job he’s doing. How is he supposed focus in this situation? He’s at the end of his rope! You’re so much!

“Relax, puppy,” you taunted him with a playful jest. You knew that he hated that but at the same time, he didn’t dislike it when you said it. You got away with so many things just for fact that you were his and he was yours. “You’ve got this under control. You don’t have to speed-run the level to get through, take this at your pace.”

He huffed, puffing out his cheeks, and that made you laugh since you could see his face reflected on the monitor as the screen flickered to another room. “I got this, I got it! I’ll figure it out. You don’t have to tell me where the items are... I bet I’ll find them soon.”

“I know you will. That’s why you’re trying to trick me by running around in a big circle,” you said. Though, he probably thought that you meant that he couldn’t with the way that you teased him.

Yoosung retorted, “I totally will! Just watch me, then!”

You chuckled. He turned his attention back onto the game while you nuzzled your head against his cheek and settled back against the bed while Yoosung remained neatly tucked away against your lap. He let out a gasp when you did, but remained determined to keep his composure. He might’ve been easy to rile up, but you believed in him. You knew that he was capable.

But, just as much as you knew that, you also knew that Yoosung would never ever admit that he liked being this close to you. He didn’t hate feeling of your stubble on his face, nor did he dislike the way you made him feel like he was lost in the warmest hug of his life. You didn’t have to tell him how to solve anything, he would figure it out the longest that you stayed by his side to support him.

#ask #anon #mod kait #mystic messenger #mm #mysme #mysticmessenger #yoosung kim #kim yoosung #yoosung mm #yoosung mysme #yoosung mystic messenger #mystic messenger yoosung #mysme yoosung #mm yoosung #drabble

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punkjorts · 2 years

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diary entry #2

on that note (see previous post)

i'm certain this person is interested in me, and it's nice. i've sort of become bored* with my current interests, so to have someone new is very exciting!

they live a bit far from me, so whatever plans we make will be pretty spaced out due to the long commute. i won't get into specifics for privacy purposes, but it's pretty lengthy. anyway, this is great for me because i will probably want to see them far more often than necessary and eventually get bored of them. nothing against this person or my other interests, it's just how i am now. hoping to work on that.

we have plans to get drinks in the future (date will remain non-specific, again, for privacy purposes). they want to pay (very gentleman-like) for everything. these plans to get together, as far as i know, haven't been discussed in front of our mutual friends, which means they're not invited... cute. i know all of us will get together around that time, and i wonder if it will be before the "date" or after. either way, sounds really funny and cute.

i think if we all hung out before the "date", there may be some nervousness and tension, which sounds so fun. and after? i'll probably be a bit flustered, honestly, but the thrill of the group (probably) not knowing that we're... i don't really want to put a label on it, but the fact that they won't know we're linking up is fun.

and i have kind of realized that little, uh, aspect(?) of myself where i like the thrill of doing something without others knowing. i wish i could apply it to things such as going back to school or learning a new hobby, but it seems to only apply to my romantic relationships. for instance, when i was in an actual relationship with this one person, i would text them sort of risky things in a room full of our peers just for the thrill of it. not necessarily getting caught, because that's embarrassing to me, but like NO ONE KNOWS! no one knows i'm texting my partner something that will make them flustered. the nervousness and excitement they may feel. the tension throughout the rest of the night, until everyone leaves... and then intense fucking afterwards.

is that a kink? idk.

anyway. this person shows genuine interest in my hobbies and day to day tasks. they ask a lot of questions. it feels nice. i like new people. i like someone taking an interest, romantic or platonic, in me. and i love learning about others!

this person in particular was born and raised entirely different from myself. different culture, different lifestyle, different views... i'm sure we'll butt heads on a few things, we have in the past, but it's interesting to learn how and why they think the way they do. it's IMPORTANT to learn how and why people think, but that's an entirely different conversation. it's just fascinating. i'm truly interested in this person.

*by bored, i mean that i have attachment and trust issues that i have been struggling with for a bit. all my romantic interests are not meant to be long term relationships, just short term

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robynlilyblack · 2 years

Text

The heart wants what it wants

Sirius Black x fem! reader

[Requested – see request here]

Summary: Sirius comes and goes from your life like clockwork, lighting up your wold with his presence and leaving you in the cold when he’s gone

Warnings: romantic moments, kissing, angst, swearing, breakup, slight insecure/depressed reader and Sirius, misunderstandings, mentions of sex

A/n: 4.6k words, no house specified but the reader is in the year below Sirius, I haven’t ever written anything based off of a song before and I’m not sure how good I am at big boy angst because I can’t judge it when I write but I hope I did okay x I’m sorry this took so long I’ve been so busy with uni x

Navigation | Sirius Black Masterlist

Your friends warned you not to get involved when he approached you but did you listen? Nope, never, because the heart wants what it wants and your heart would always be tied to Sirius Orion Black

You were in your 6th year and he his 7th when he first approached you. You had been sitting in the library with your friends who had since abandoned their studies and wandered off to procrastinated as they ‘looked’ for a book

“Can I sit here?” he gestures to the empty table with three unoccupied seats

You just nod, of course you knew him, everyone did, but you never thought he’d take interest in little old you. He didn’t take one of the two seats across from you like you expected which meant you let out a little hiccup of a gasp when he plopped himself on the seat next to you purposefully on the closer side so your shoulders would brush

After a few moments of Sirius pretending to work, and you doing the same while having a mini panic attack, he speaks “You’re adorable” he smiles to himself not looking at you but you’re sure he can feel your eyes blowing wide

“Thank you” you squeak out in the quietest voice he had probably ever heard which only made him smile more

“You’re welcome darling” he finally looks at you adoring your flustered state, his eyes trailed over you drinking you up while his face wore a small endearing smile “What’s your name?” he asks

“Y/n” you answer timidly

“Pretty” he notes before turning back to actually do work, leaving you slightly dazed but with a warm feeling spreading across your chest

Over the next months these little interactions became normal to you, he would show up lightly flirt and then he would go back about his business. With conversation he would do something similar, ask you something getting to know a bit about you, make you flustered, although he didn’t have to try very hard with that, and compliment you. Sometimes it was in the library like the first time, others it was while you were walking to class and he passed by, and once he walked around with you in Honeydukes when you both so happened to be in there at the same time.

He always showed up when it was just you on your own, he never pestered you either, if you were reading he would just let you do it and sit with you, same when you were studying. Your friends knew all about it, warning you that he was just going to use you like every other girl before you, that he was just taking his time because you were shier, or the worst one was he liked the feeling of playing with you for fun when he was bored.

Of course, all of those comments went in one ear and out the other, not because you didn’t know better but because you felt like he was genuine, surely if he just wanted to use you he would have asked you out the first time? You did see him flirt with other girls for the first little bit and it hurt, but as he moved onto another girl and forgot about the last one he always returned to you.

Maybe you were kidding yourself, thinking you were special, different, but there was just the feeling when he was with you, he lit up your world and always left you with a smile plastered on your face for the rest of the day

One day he came across you by Black lake reading, you had gotten used to his sudden appearances although sometimes you felt like he could sense where you were at any given moment. He sat down gently next to you, not saying anything as he looked out over the water, casually leaning back on his arms legs stretched out

You finished the page you were on and slid in your bookmark before placing the book down, bringing your knees up and wrapping your arms around them as you started to stare out at the water as well. You shivered slightly with the little breeze, he seemed to notice sitting forward, copying you with his legs and wrapped his arm around your shoulder loosely, almost like he was judging your reaction.

His grip tightened as you shifted closer “Better?” he asks looking at you

You hum in agreement knowing if you speak it’ll probably be all high pitched, you do however let out a little sound as you feel Sirius lean over and press his lips against the side of your head. He stays there for a second before returning to look back at the water

“Probably rather late to ask this…” he chuckles slightly “…but are you single?”

Your eyes shoot up to look at him, before widening as you realise your proximity “Yes” you whisper nodding your head slightly

Sirius’ lips tug up as his eyes trail over your face, lingering on your lips before he moves a little closer, letting your noses brush “Can I kiss you?”

You don’t say anything, too shocked to process to which a flash of disappointment appears across his face before he begins to move away. You snap out of your shock and half launch yourself forward for a quick peck, before burying your head in your hands embarrassed. You feel him chuckle next to you before his hands pull yours away from your face and he greets you with a warm smile before he leans in to kiss you properly

After that day by the lake it was back to regularly scheduled programming, accept when he approached you he’d always kiss you in some way. Usually on the cheek, forehead or nose, the lips when you were alone or it was quiet and once the neck in the library to which he walked off smirking after he heard the little moan that left your lips followed by your most flustered expression yet. You loved the next norm, the kisses lifted you up like you were floating on air but the cold periods where worse now, leaving you feeling empty until he returned.

Near the end of the year your heart started to ache that you might never see him again, you confessed this to your friends who all told you that was a good thing. Expressing that it’s good you haven’t gone further than kissing with him because that’s the only reason he still comes back, asking you if he had told you whether you were exclusive or not, or if you’re aware he might be still off kissing other girls since he flirts with everyone. You couldn’t answer, you didn’t ask if you were anything more to him that an occasional kiss, you felt like you didn’t need to like both of you just knew and were on the same page. Of course, they voiced how naïve it all was but you were in love, your heart didn’t care to listen to reason

A couple of days before the end of term, Sirius found you once more outside reading but in an empty courtyard as most of the students were crowded around your usual spot by the lake

“Hi” he greets as he settles himself next to you, arm lazily around your shoulder as he plants a kiss to the side of your head

“Hi” you lean into him placing down you book next to you

Sirius nuzzles his nose into the side of yours before leaning his forehead against you, taking a deep breath “I’m going to miss our little meetings” he confesses before pulling back

“Me too” you admit turning to look at him, heart dropping with knowledge this could be the last time

He brushes some hair from your face “Pretty girl” he compliments

“What happens now?” you ask being brave and asking a question about you and him for the first time

“What do you mean?” he looks at you confused “I graduate and become…well I haven’t worked that out yet but that’s part of the fun it’s it” he laughs, his laugh always made you smile but the way he was puzzled made you realise maybe this wasn’t the same to him as it was to you

“I still have another year to figure that out” you say sadly whilst hoping for him to say something, anything about yours and his future

“With the amount you study you could be anything darling” he kisses your nose, making your lips tug up again

“Pads! Come on” you look over to see James ushering him with Remus and Peter just behind him

“Duty calls, Minnie and Dumbledore won’t prank themselves” he chuckles turning back to you

“So, is this it?” you ask looking up at him with a worried expression but he doesn’t seem to notice

“Yeah, of course it is?” he says with a laugh again puzzled before leaning in to give you a lingering kiss to the lips before another to your nose whispering a quick ‘see ya’ as he runs off

Your mouth dropped as your heart began to shatter, eyes welling with tears as his figure receded. As the tears began to fall you pulled your legs to your chest and let your head fall into them. Was that really the end? Where was the contract you signed that stated this was just until the end of the year, he was so surprised, like he had no idea that he just took your heart with him as he left you alone in the cold.

You didn’t see him at all the last days, just at meals but you couldn’t look at him without fear of crying in the middle of the great hall. On the train ride home, you rushed off the train first, hoping to spot him when he got off the train, standing right under one of the clocks in clear view. One of your friends noticed you, sensing the imminent heartbreak you were setting yourself up for, soon practically everyone was off the train and you burst out in tears.

They comforted you as your body left the station while your heart stayed their waiting for him. Your heart didn’t want to believe it was truely over despite the pain in your chest which had spread across your whole body into your hands.

Sirius noticed you around the end of his 6th year and your 5th, you were just sitting in an empty courtyard reading yourself, content in your own little world. He was waiting for James at the time so he just leaned on the wall nearby and observed you. The way your lips tugged up and giggled or when your mouth parted in surprise, completely enraptured and invested in whatever it was you were reading. After that he started to see you every so often until the end of that year. Over the summer he felt the urge to talk you, ask you questions and get to know you, figure out why you were so interesting.

He had flings with shy bookworms before because he loved his effect on them, but why were you making him feel nervous to approach you? To start he didn’t want to invade your space but as he watched you from afar he noticed the little flash of sadness when your friends changed the conversation back to them or left you by yourself while they ran off doing other things. Eventually he saw you in the library yourself and decided to take a chance. As he sat next to you, there was something oddly fulfilling about the comfortable silence between you as you just enjoyed each other’s company.

He still flirted around, kissed other girls and continued his usual pursuits for a while, but he always gravitated back to you and soon realised no one made him feel so seen without having to utter a word. At Black lake he took his chance to take things further, test the waters, he saw you as more than a friend or fling, but did you? When you kissed him he felt his heart soar, and it continued to do so with every following kiss.

The day he kissed you he never went further than his natural flirting with anyone else, you never spoke about what you were or put the label, hell he never knew your last name but he felt like there was a mutual understanding. He felt alive when you were with him and when you were apart he couldn’t wait until the next one, being in different years and social circles made it hard for him to see you as often as he wanted but he would always come back, always.

As the year headed towards it’s close, his heart ached that he might not get to see you for a whole year until you graduated as well. He aimed to get your address to write to you and give you his and James’ when they got one, but thanks to their final prank he and the rest of the marauders ended up in all day detention all day for the final two days. He then decided to catch you when you got off the train but time just wasn’t on his side.

“Pads” James calls out “What are you looking for?” he looks at him confused as Peter and Remus exit the train, the latter checking the formers head as he groans in pain clutching his head

Sirius looks around trying to spot you before sighing as he turns back annoyed “I swear I’m going to kill you, all of you” he points between them all

“What did I do?” James shrugs puzzled

“Knowing you it could be anything but me and Wormtail haven’t done anything” Remus eyes James before turning back to Peter “If anything, you’ve done something to him, you alright?” he takes a look at Peters head to see there was a cut where the luggage fell on him

“Yeah…” Peter nods before looking around warily “Can you see spots?” he asks in a state that makes him look half-drunk as the concussion starts to set in

“I’ll take him to sit down, you sort whatever’s going on with him” Remus tells James before helping Peter sit down at a nearby bench as he pulls out his wand to heal his head

“Pads” James approaches him concern evident in his voice

Sirius voice was low and broken “I missed her” his expression turned frustrated “Fuck…what never heard a person swear before!” he snaps at a conductor as he gives him a disappointed look before quickly walking on

“Mate it’ll alright” James tries to calm him down

“No, it won’t! I don’t have her address…merlin I don’t even know her last name” he sighs cursing his past self

“You dated this girl for what, give or take 8 months and you don’t know her last name?” James could have laughed if he wasn’t sure Sirius would kill him

“I’m sorry I’m not stalker like you. Mr I knew Lily’s childhood pet before you’d even held a conversation with her” he mocks his friend

“I did not stalk” James defends himself

“Yes, you did I was there!” Peter shouts from afar

“Shut up Wormtail, I can make my luggage his you on purpose this time” he points at his friend before saying a quick sorry as Remus gives him a death glare, he turns back to Sirius “Look why don’t you go to Hogsmeade the first trip and see if you can find her then” he suggests

Sirius felt empty over summer, he felt so stupid for not doing anything sooner, he supposed it was because he was so caught up with you that he just didn’t think. He spent most his days helping James paint their new apartment, doing it the muggle way so he could keep his mind off of things. He wondered was you must think of him, if you would wait for him, if you thought of him as more than a little fling or if you would even want to see him after he left you high and dry.

It was time for the Hogsmeade trip, thanks to Peter he knew which weekend it was. He apparated there around the early afternoon, you had once told him you liked to walk around the streets in the afternoon since it was a lot quieter and everyone was either eating lunch or soaking up the sun near the lake. As he walked slowly around trying to spot you he did feel a bit sick, 4 months since he last saw you kissed you, hating himself for not saying those three little words. You had never gone further than one heated kiss in the library, he wasn’t exactly going to have your first time in one of Finches abandoned broom closets or deep in the books of the library, no, you deserved so much better he wanted to take you out, watch the stars with you and take his time to savour everything, for the first time in his life he wasn’t in a rush he was going to enjoy the journey.

The nervous feeling vanished when he spotted you, he started to smile as he started to walk towards you but wavered when he saw you were with someone. The sick feeling returned in full force as he didn’t recognise the boy you were with as one of your friends, his heart beat out his chest as he watched you laugh at something before the boy reached up and tucked some hair behind your ear. As the boy leaned in Sirius turned away, he wasn’t going to sit there and witness you kiss someone that wasn’t him. He quickly walked away and apparated back to his flat heart shattering.

“How’d it go!?” Lily asks as soon as he appeared

“Bloody fuck…merlin Red” Sirius jumps back having a minor heart attack before he clutches his chest

“Sorry” Lily cringes while James and Remus start chuckling

Sirius turns “Is everyone here?” he looks between the three

“Wormtail couldn’t make it but ya pretty much, so you tell her?” Remus tilts his head waiting in anticipation along with Lily and James

“She was on a date” Sirius collapses onto the couch, as their expressions drop “I left it too late…ugh I fuck up everything” his head falls into his hands

The others look among themselves, Lily taking a seat beside him as James took a seat across from him along with Remus “Are you sure it was a date?” Lily checks as she rubs his back

“I’ve done that little hair tuck thing enough times to know what he was going to do next” he grimaces “It was definitely a date”

“Did you talk to her?” Remus asks with knitted eyebrows

“No I left” Sirius leans his head into Lily’s shoulder as she wraps an arm around him “It was stupid of me to think she’d wait…I just thought…” for the first time since he ran away he let himself cry in front of people, Remus got up right away as did James, moving to the seat on his other side as James moved to kneel on the floor in front of him.

After a few minutes Lily turned to him “How did you leave things? Like at the end of the year, maybe she thought that was the end?”

Sirius shakes his head “No wee were perfect, the last time was any other day. Sure, I didn’t get a chance to see her again and give her a proper goodbye but we had gone for a couple weeks before without speaking…I’m so stupid” he mutters the last bit

“You aren’t stupid” Lily reassures him

“What was the last thing you said to her?” James inquires

“Ugh, Minnie and Dumbledore aren’t going to prank themselves I think? Then I got ready to leave and she asked…So, is this it?” he says the last three words slowly as his mouth drops “Oh fuck!” Sirius sits in shock as it dawns on him, hands trailing through his hair as he bunches them up

“What did you say?” Lily eyes him

“Yeah of course it is” he looks half catatonic while lily hits him “Hey!”

“Wait, so you broke up with her?” James looks at him confused and shocked mouth open

“No…well…I said it more like yeah, of course it is…like, yeah I need to…leave” Sirius shuts his eyes tightly “I can’t believe I broke up with her…merlin she probably hates me I just left her like I didn’t care…Imma gonna throw up” he hands his head between his legs as he takes deep breaths, as he sits back upright he turns to Lily “How do I fix this, please red have to fix this”

You sighed as you lent your head on the window of the train, watching as you slowly pulled into Kings cross “Cheer up y/n it’s the holidays” one of your friends say as the give your knee a little shake

“Sorry” you give them a small smile

“It’s been almost 6 months y/n” your other friend gives you look mixed with worry and annoyance “You need to move on” she insists

“I don’t want to” you snap at her “My heart wants him” you say quietly taking a deep breath

“And he didn’t want you” she claps back rather harshly making you wince

“Gal” your other friend warns, a look a disappointment on his face

“No I’m not going to teeter around this subject anymore, you need some tough love” she turns to you “He was and will always be a player, he came and gone from your life like clockwork showing up getting you attached like he was some kind of drug and now you need to detox”

“It wasn’t like that…” you defend frowning

“Merlin y/n you need to grow up” she says huffing as she picks up her bag “I can’t sit her and watch you suffer like this anymore…have a nice holiday” she shakes her head giving you one last look as she wishes you both before taking her leave

“I know she went around that the wrong way but she had a point” your other friend gives you a sad look “What ever happened to that date? You didn’t want to talk about it after” he asks as he lifts down some of his own luggage

“He tried to kiss me” you cringe remembering the moment

“Did you kiss him back” he tilts his head

“No, I slapped him” you say hesitantly

“Gal” he looks at you in shock “Seriously, you can just say no thanks” he lets out a small laugh as he imagines sweet little you slapping someone

“I did but then he said every knew I had a thing with Sirius so I should stop being a prude and playing innocent, then he called me a…a mean word starting with s and ending in t” you scrunch up your nose

“Oh, well next time punch him and break his nose, or call me and I’ll do it…actually I’ll just throw a Bludger at his head next year” He stands up and picks up his bags while you giggle at his comment “I won’t tell you what to do because you aren’t going to listen, but please take some time to think about this, this isn’t healthy” he gives you a kiss to the forehead and a hug before leaving

You sluggishly got your bags and such together and headed off the train, slowly pushing your trolley towards the little coffee stand you always went to for something to eat before you headed home. As you approached you could have sworn you saw Sirius for a second in the swarm of people, stopping you stare into the crowd. As some people parted you saw him already looking at you, your favourite flowers in hand.

You just stood there frozen as he approached you slowly, when he was about 10 feet away you snapped out of your daze walking right up and wrapped your arms around his torso tightly. His face looked confused as you approached, wincing a bit as he must have thought you were going to slap him. It took less than a second before he returned it sighing in relief as his lips tugged up, breathing in your scent.

As you pulled apart your hands stayed clutching the material of his shirt at his sides while his along with the flowers stayed behind your back “Hi” he breaths out

“Hi” you whisper back meeting his eyes

“I had this whole speech planned” he lets out a laugh “I didn’t expect a warm embrace you see” he leans his forehead on yours for a moment before pulling back “The premise was…umm…fuck it” you let out a small giggle “I love you” he says genuinely “I love you and I’m so sorry” he cups your cheek with his free hand

You tilt your head, lips parted at his confession “You love me?” you confirm, making sure you heard that right

“Yes, so much. I…I didn’t mean to break up with you I only realised I actually in October after a conversation with Lily, who hit me more than once afterwards…actually Wormtail did too” he cringes pressing a kiss to your forehead “I’m so sorry, I’m probably the world’s biggest idiot…”

You let out a little laugh, finding his ramble cute and your heart soaring as you were right, he did love you and you were so happy you never gave up “I love you too” you confess

His face lights up “You do? Even after what I did?” he looks at you hopefully, lips tug up into a thankful smile as you speak

“Yes…I never not stopped” his smile widens as he dips down to kiss you properly but hesitates as your noses touch “what?” you pout

He pulls back slightly, licking his lips “We were technically broken up at the time so I’m not upset in any way but…but are with anyone or been with anyone. I saw you at Hogsmeade on a date” he admits, insecurity evident in his voice

“You did?” you cock your head confused but your heart fluttered that he came to Hogsmeade to see you

“Yeah” he nods “I left before I saw him kiss you…I just couldn’t watch…” his expression is pained before he sees you grinning at him “what?” his own face soften as he can’t help but smile with you

“You left before the good bit” he looks a taken aback which makes you giggle “You left before you saw me slap him”

His eyes widen in happiness “You didn’t kiss him?” you shake your head making him throw the flowers onto your trolley as he lifts you up and spins you around, kissing you all over your face as he does while you squeal giggling. As he sets you down he finally registers what you said “Wait you…” he lets out a surprised yet proud laugh “you slapped him?”

“Little bit” you bite your lip “He called you mean things and said I was a…slu… a not very nice word” you couldn’t say it

A smile graced his face as he heard you defended him before it hardened as he knew what word it was “Give me his name and the marauders will end him, we might have graduated but no one messes with my girl” he cups your face

“Your girl?” you smile at him

“My girl” he says softly, leaning in to capture your lips in a long overdue kiss

#sirius x reader #sirius and reader #sirius black and reader #sirius and you #sirius and y/n #sirius x you #Sirius Black #siriusblack #sirius black fanfiction #angst to fluff #shy reader #maraduers #marauders era #marauders fic

386 notes · View notes

cinebration · 3 years

Text

What I Mean (Sherlock Holmes x Reader) [Request]

Hi lovely! Love love LOVE your work! You’ve got some truly amazing stories 💝 would I be able to request a Henry!Sherlock Holmes x reader one shot where the reader has feelings for Sherlock but thinks that he doesn’t like her at all? — Requested by anon

Warnings: none

Gif Source: acecroft

The first time you saw Sherlock, you fell in love. It wasn’t because of how he looked or how he carried himself. It was how he brushed past that insufferable Constable Lowell, ignoring the man’s protests with a wave of his hand. The way Lowell became flustered and upset and the way DI Lestrade laughed at him made your heart swell in your chest. After the last five months of verbal bullying from the constable, you were supremely satisfied to see him humiliated.

Sherlock frequently appeared unexpectedly at Scotland Yard. You learned to recognize his presence in the building before you ever saw him. There was something about the way he moved through the place, like it was of little consequence, that you could feel. It reminded you of being caught out in a storm with lightning striking nearby, the hair on your arms rising as static built up in the air.

You didn’t meet Sherlock until your fourth month of employment. What had started as a typing job had turned into secretarial work—with no increase in pay to account for your extra duties. You strode into Lestrade’s office with a thin smile and said, “If I’m going to be mitigating your literacy blunders, I expect to be compensated.”

“That’s out of the question. You are a typist and are paid accordingly.”

“Well, then, in that case…” You dumped a huge stack of folders in front of him. “I don’t need to inventory these.”

Lestrade stared at the stack in displeasure.

“Oh, and they haven’t been properly sorted. I’m only meant to type, not to organize your chaos.”

“Now wait.”

“I expect a ten-percent increase. That’s what a proper secretary gets paid. Oh, and the title. I want everyone to know I am not a mere typist.”

The muscle in his jaw jumping, Lestrade reluctantly agreed. Sweeping the files up in your arms, you strode out of the room, light on your heels.

Sherlock leaned beside the door, a faint smirk playing on his lips. You stumbled, surprised by his appearance.

“I thought I was the only one who could so easily maneuver Lestrade,” he said.

“He makes it too easy,” you managed to say.

Sherlock’s eyes skimmed the files. “They’re already organized, I see.”

“The trick is making him think only I can do this job.”

“Clever.” Then he was in Lestrade’s office discussing a case, leaving you standing there flushed.

Sherlock took to greeting you cordially each time he passed by your desk after the incident with Lestrade. Sometimes he didn’t meet with Lestrade at all, instead opting to leave you with a message for the detective inspector. Sherlock never spent long at your desk, much to your disappointment, but the few minutes he spared you each time were enough to make you float the rest of the day.

You had taken it upon yourself to have all the necessary information on all of Lestrade’s cases close at hand. Sherlock often appeared to ask Lestrade for information regarding something he had read in the paper or heard from others. The first time you furnished him with a small envelope of the relevant information, you had been pleased to see genuine surprise in the consulting detective’s face.

“You are quite indispensable,” he remarked. “I don’t know how Lestrade managed anything before you.”

“Poorly, I would imagine.”

“I heard that!”

Smothering a laugh with your hand, you settled back at your desk and tried to think of something else to say to make Sherlock linger for a few moments. Before you could, he dipped his head and left.

You didn’t know why you kept entertaining the idea of interacting properly with Sherlock. The society rumor mill claimed the man was impossible to nail down and seemed uninterested in any of the ladies. It was supposed he, being an eccentric, was possibly too obsessed with his sleuthing hobby and therefore poor marriage material anyway.

Still, you flirted with the idea until you saw him interact with his sister, Enola. He smiled at her and praised her for a particularly thorny case she had unraveled.

Oh, you thought with dismay, feeling all hope leave you. He treats me like his sister.

The realization settled deep in your bones. It had been fruitless all along, the special treatment you had accorded him, the way he seemed pleased with you.

Of course he was pleased with you, you snarled inwardly. You helped him with his work. Even he suffers Lestrade in order to do that. You are nothing but a convenient secretary he doesn’t need to pay.

You couldn’t bear the thought of making things difficult for him, however, so you continued to keep the case information neatly organized and accessible. While everything in you had changed, the only outward sign of it was a sudden coolness toward him. You no longer smiled easily when he arrived, and you spent most of your time avoiding his gaze, busying yourself with tasks at your desk.

If he noticed, he gave no sign. It was as you had thought. You were of little consequence to him.

A year after being hired, you considered quitting. There was a small detective agency in need of female detectives to uncover unfaithful wives and husbands for divorce proceedings. It would get you away from the stifling atmosphere of Scotland Yard, where the likes of Lowell and his ilk still roamed unchecked. You could do with a change.

You could do with an escape from a certain debonair consultant.

“You can’t leave,” Lestrade declared. “I won’t allow it.”

“Did I sign a contract, sir?”

“No, but why would that—”

“Then I am under no obligation to continue working for you.”

Lestrade sputtered, trying to refute you. “You’re needed here.”

“I know a woman who is as adept as I am at this work.”

“But—”

“I’ve made my decision, detective. Please leave me to it.”

You remained only to show your replacement the way of things and to warn her about Lowell and the others. Only then did you leave and seek a posting in the detective agency.

A day after you had applied and been accepted, you arrived to work in your work clothes, fully expecting to be sent somewhere to survey a cheating spouse. As you walked through the door, you heard exclamations from within.

“Mr. Holmes! What an honor it is to have you grace our establishment.”

You froze in the doorway, heart hammering in your chest. Sherlock’s broad back was turned to you, his face in three-quarter profile. You wanted to flee, to escape the magnetic pull you felt in your presence.

Your new employer saw you past Sherlock’s shoulder. “Ah, here she is.” Waving you over, he watched you walk stiffly down the hallway, your hands clenched into nervous fists by your sides.

Sherlock turned to you, fixing you with those striking blue eyes. You felt trapped beneath them, sucked in their magnetism once more. Swallowing thickly, you nodded. “Mr. Holmes.”

He smiled tentatively at you, revealing the point of a canine.

“Mr. Holmes has requested you for an investigation,” you employer said. “I offered him Miss Hemmings, of course, she being our finest, but he insisted on you.”

The hair on the back of your neck rose. Resisting the urge to scratch, you asked, “Did he?”

“I did. Now, if we could go? We are wasting time.”

Fighting the disappointment rising in you, you followed Sherlock out the door and into a transom. Enclosed in the small space, you couldn’t avoid his scent, a pleasing mix of tobacco smoke and something else. You avoided his gaze, folding and refolding your hands in your lap.

“You left Scotland Yard.”

A statement. You nodded but didn’t offer anything more. “Where are we going?”

“Did I do something wrong?”

You frowned, lifted your head. “I beg your pardon?”

“Did I do something incorrect?” A crease appeared between the man’s eyebrows. “Your demeanor toward me changed in the two months leading up to your resignation.”

Toying with the fingers of your gloves, you felt panic clawing up your throat. He had noticed. What did that mean?

“I can only conclude that something occurred, but I can’t determine what.”

You met his concerned eyes. “I…it doesn’t matter, Mr. Holmes. I can do whatever job you need me to with as much professional courtesy as it requires.”

His lips pulled into a thin frown. “That isn’t what I’m asking.”

“I don’t know what you mean, then.”

“Please, you are smarter than that. Or was my regard for you misplaced?”

You blinked in surprise, unsure you had heard correctly. “It…isn’t my place to tell you where to place your regard.”

He laughed then, a sudden HA that made you jump. “You are making this difficult, aren’t you?”

“Excuse me?”

“I am not given over to emotionalism, but I won’t deny that your treatment of me in those last months affected me.”

“I didn’t mean to—”

“What I mean to say is that I had hoped we were developing a familiarity.” His hand went to his collar, adjusting it. “I had hoped to…call on you.”

Your head snapped up in surprise. “To call on me?”

“I had thought my feeling for you was returned, but if I am mistaken, please inform me now to save us both further embarrassment.”

You could hardly speak around the tightness in your throat. “It is returned.”

The smile on Sherlock’s face made your heart ache. “Good. I’m glad we have remedied that. Now, if we’re both to be detectives, then I suppose we had best collaborate. I need you to spy on Richard Haskell. It seems…”

#Sherlock Holmes x Reader #Sherlock Holmes #Sherlock Holmes imagine #Henry Cavill x Reader #Henry Cavill #Henry Cavill imagine #Henry!Holmes #Henry!Sherlock #Enola Holmes #requests

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what-i-call-men · 3 years

Text

Soulmates pt 2

Sundrop/Moondrop x GN!reader

Part 2

Warnings: Just fluff and soulmate stuff.

Read part one here

gif from @yes-i-love-dreaming

It’d been a couple hours of you and Sunny talking and him telling you tons of stories of his time with the kids. You were genuinely overjoyed that you had found your soulmate but man you were exhausted and there was no way for you to get into the nearby concessions stand for a fizzfazz without triggering some alarms.

You’d gotten a chance to glance down at your watch seeing that it was already about 3:30 am and you had been up for a full 21 hours with no actual rest. As Sundrop talked on and on as he drew a picture of what you assumed was you, you slumped your head into your hand and let your eyes unfocus.

It wasn't until Sunny put his hand on your shoulder you even knew he was calling your name. You hummed and looked over to his frame now sat criss cross beside you. “I think it’s bed time for you. Come come! Let me show you a nice place to get comfortable!” He said and stood up, reaching down to pick you up into his arms. Honestly it wasn’t even a new experience for you considering how much Monty would get annoyed with you and just pick you up.

Sundrop however was much more gentle, probably considering he was used to handling children, and whoever constructed Monty thought it was a great idea to give him non retractable claws. You were still in your jeans and work shirt but somehow you couldn’t find it in you to really care as you heard the animatronic’s footsteps leading up a set of stairs and a door opening around you. It was only then you opened your eyes and lifted your head from the warm metal of Sunny’s chest.

Around you was a small room with some scattered plushes and blankets; some adorning Sundrop's face along with what looked to be him but as a moon. Sundrop set you gently on a pile of pillows and blankets that was nested in the corner as he moved to where the small balcony was in the wall. Glancing over to him with heavy eyes, you saw him grabbing something out of a locker in the corner.

Coming back over he handed you a shirt and some shorts- what you’d assumed was maybe some out-of-stock merchandise because you’d never seen someone with these, considering they were adult sleepwear you assumed they maybe weren’t best sellers. Once again they had this moon face on them.

Sundrop turned away for a second as you took that as a sign to change. Once you gave Sundrop the okay to turn back, you saw him wringing his hands a bit. “Hey Sunny… who is this on the pajamas?” You asked, your question punctuated with a yawn. Sundrop came over towards you and gently took your hands into his.

“That’s moondrop. He’s my other half. We used to be separate but the mechanics didn’t see any use in running us separate because some children were scared of him… so now he only comes out when the lights are off.” Sunny said as he slowly brought your hand up to his faceplate, pressing it to where his mouth is, in some sort of mock kiss.

“So… he’s an extension of you?” You asked, puzzled and a bit flustered with the affectionate gesture.

“Yes and no. We share a body… and a soulmate tattoo. But he has his own personality. He’s meant to be out at night and for nap time for the children…” Sunny said, continuing his speaking as he gently pulled you into his arms. “I prefer to leave the lights on as much as possible so that no one gets scared of him, but he very much dislikes being away so much.”

You let Sunny’s words echo in your head for a moment. “So he’s also my soulmate?” You asked softly. Sunny’s head bowed a bit in a nod as he dropped his face to your shoulder.

“If you don’t want to meet him-” Sundrop immediately became nervous with the prospect of you being scared away by Moondrop. He’d dreamt about his soulmate for so long and now that he had you, he didn’t want you scared away. You smiled a bit with a yawn, holding your finger to Sun’s mouth to shush him.

“When can I meet him? It’s not fair to him if I'm also his soulmate.” You said and reached up, taking Sunny’s faceplate into your hands. “You should know about playing fair, sunny honey.” Sun only had a moment to collect himself after that nickname calmed him.

“Are you sure you want him out?” Sunny asked for clarification nervously. “Because we can always wait until you’re more comfortable… we don't want you to be scared-” You hushed Sundrop with a gentle peck to his mouth.

“If i’m his soulmate as well he deserves to meet me and make his own impression.” You said softly with a smile up at the bright animatronic. You heard his fans kick on after the kiss to his faceplate, and you assumed that was the robot version of blushing. You could never really hear it if it was around the glamrocks because they and the people around them were always so loud.

Sun pulled away from you gently and turned to the balcony, reaching to the side and flipping a switch which slowly shut off the lights in the daycare. When the final lights in the small room went out, you heard some fans whirring and metal shifting and adjusting. After a few seconds it paused and you tried to readjust your eyes in the dark when suddenly you saw two glowing red pupils where Sun’s face had just been.

The room was silent for a while, but you could see the red pupils flickering back and forth and around as if he was searching out what to say. “It's nice to meet you moondrop.” you spoke suddenly and extended your hands towards him to welcome him closer. It was a couple seconds before you felt the robotic arms wrap around your waist and pull you into a hug. Smiling, you laid your head on his shoulder. His body was so warm and comfortable to your already sleepy body. The same warm feeling spread through your body as when you had first encountered Sunny.

“I’m so happy we finally met you. I- I knew the odds and…” Moon seemed to hold you as though if he were to let go you’d disappear and he’d have been dreaming the whole time. You shushed him as you did with Sun earlier. You already became quickly aware of the talkative nature of your soulmates.

“The odds worked in our favor, Moony. You don't have to worry…” the last word got cut off by a harsh yawn from you. Moondrop paused for a moment and you swear if his face could move he’d have smiled more.

“You know, my job is to help people sleep and if you’re ok with it I can help you get comfortable.” Moon offered and you grinned a bit and nodded at him. He gently pulled your form towards the corner of the room where there was a couple old naptime mats and a bunch of blankets and stuffed animals that you noticed were either misprinted or the animals were maybe missing an eye.

You laid down and Moon sat down beside you, letting you lay against him. He started to play a gentle lullaby from his speakers as he expertly tucked you in with a blanket. Your tired body was so close to drifting off but one thing felt wrong. You opened your eyes and looked up at moondrop who’s hand was gently resting on your shoulder.

“Moony, can you come cuddle with me?” You asked softly and once again you heard his fans kick on high. You smiled a bit wider as Moon grabbed something from beside him, shuffling for a second before laying down on his side facing you. After seeing a small flashing light you realized he’d plugged himself in to recharge. As he laid his faceplate beside your face you leaned forwards and gently pressed a couple small kisses to his face.

“I’m so glad we met. I can't wait to talk more tomorrow.” You muttered and Moondrop just gently pulled you into a hug, laying your head on his chest, which was surprisingly not as uncomfortable as you’d expected. You heard the lullaby continue as you drifted off into your sleep. As you were about to fully fall asleep you heard a quiet voice from within his chest.

“We finally met them… we finally have our soulmate.”

#sundrop/moondrop x reader #sundrop #sundrop x reader #sunnydrop #moondrop #moondrop x reader #fnaf daycare attendant

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