#am i insane? or are the people around me crazy?
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bluespring864 · 2 days ago
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Tags by @crossedcourt <3
I will now run with them and write an essay because I am always insane about Novandy ;-)
Specifically I want to talk about the "yes i've beaten you on every surface" part. Because I've had a few messages and seen a few comments to the effect of "Wait, they are starting a partnership at the Australian Open of all places?! How many times did Novak beat Andy there?" To which the answer is: Andy lost four of his five Australian Open finals to Novak, three of them rather badly (two in straight sets, one with a fourth set bagel) and he also very narrowly lost probably the most epic match they ever played - according to both of them - which was the Australian Open semifinal in 2012.
While this would be devastating and a cause for animosity for many tennis players I need you to understand that THEY ARE NOT LIKE THAT. At their first meeting at an under-14 tournament, Les Petits As in France in 2001, which concidentally was Novak's first international tournament ever, Andy destroyed him 6-0, 6-1 (Novak: "You gave me one game!") and they still laugh about it to this day. If and when they do press for this new coaching partnership, expect this to come up a few times.
It has always felt to me like their modus operandi was: us against the world (Novak: “Sometimes we catch up for dinner. It’s good to see somebody you grew up with doing so well in professional tennis and it’s great to show to people that top-five players, who are big rivals on the court, can be really good friends as well.”) And it never really changed, even when Novak took a commanding 24-11 lead in the H2H over the years (I am only counting matches played and leaving out the fucking tragic walkover from Andy that prevented their last meeting from happening), after it briefly almost evened out in 2012/2013.
This attitude, of course, is rather impressive from Andy, who could very well be bitter about how differently their careers have gone, considering that they are such similar players who were born only one week apart and that there was definitely much more hype around Andy at the start of their careers (Novak said when they were both 18 and played doubles at, you've guessed it, the Australian Open, that he would and wouldn't like to be like Andy because on the one hand Andy had much more support than him at the time, on the other hand he had the crushing weight of expectations to contend with).
But instead of being bitter, for the last few years of his career you could hear Mr. Murray say things like: “It would be amazing to see him do it [win the 23d Grand Slam] on Sunday. I will be supporting him. And I hope he can do it. Because it is incredible what he has done.” or plainly "I'm happy for him, he deserves it." Or even: "After Wimbledon [2023], everyone was saying it was a changing of the guard, but it wasn't for me." Oh it wasn't for you? You are defensive over the man who has beaten you more than any other in your career being written off too early?
Even during that crazy year of 2016, when they were the two frontrunners in the rankings by miles and Andy was chasing the number one spot, what did he say after losing the only French Open final he ever played? Well, he started it off with "This is his day today. What he’s achieved the last 12 months is phenomenal." and not only told the audience they had been extremely lucky to see Novak make history once again, but also ended with: "I’m proud to have been a part of today."
Us. Against. The. World.
So that's Andy, but what about Novak? Well, not to be outdone he will mention Andy in almost every interview, even when he was very much not asked about him. He will remember the 2013 Wimbledon final which he lost in straight sets to Andy as "a historic, special moment that I cherish" and, on court at the ATP Finals 2016, after his own second half of the year had been rather dismal, he also explained to the crowd that they were part of history that day and that "It was an honour to be on the court and to be a part of the big occasion. Andy is definitely number one of the world. He is the best player. He deserved to win."
If asked about the best matches he has played with Andy he will readily mention the 2012 London Olympics semifinal. We all know how important the Olympics have always been to Novak (if you didn't before 2024, you certainly know now) and this was a semifinal loss at his beloved Olympics in straight sets. Let that sink in.
When Andy retired this year, Novak explained: “He will inspire many generations to come. He inspires me, and we are about the same age." He, who has just finished his career outside of the top 100 and in a doubles match because his body wouldn't even let him play singles anymore, inspires you, who has achieved more than any other in this sport? That's really lovely, Novak. Oh, and by the way, how about Andy becoming world No. 1 and ending Novak's longest stint at No. 1 in his career? Novak's post at the time: "I am really happy to be in the same era with you."
Us. Against. The. World.
So, to make a very long story short: If I was surprised about the coaching news yesterday it was because they actually went for it, not because it seemed outlandish to me in any way. As you can see, it makes perfect sense. I am really glad we are getting another chapter of this story which - according to Novak - is "A script, a long story. A romance, I’ll call it." after we previously were treated to - according to Andy - "Rivals, doubles partners, friends and lovers?" By the way, he still has that Instagram post pinned. Anyway, before I digress, let me conclude this by saying:
You thought their story was over? Think again.
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multi-fandomdisaster · 3 days ago
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Oh boy! It's time for me to project myself onto a fictional character!!!
Hear me out: Ted with undiagnosed ADHD
He's gotten...okay-ish at masking it over the years, but he cannot sit still and just focus for the life of him and he has no idea why. It's a damn good thing that his job doesn't really matter all that much in the long run company-wise, because he HARDLY gets anything done because he can't focus on it because it doesn't interest him all that much. His daily rounds of the office where he goes around and bothers everyone else is primarily because he gets bored as shit just sitting in an office chair trying to slave over whatever the heck he's supposed to do that day and he feels like he's gonna go insane if he doesn't move around and talk to people. Having his own office is simultaneously a godsend and a curse, because on one hand he'd occasionally get overstimulated by the sounds of the rest of the office while he's just trapped there at his desk unable to do anything to destress and instead has to pretend like he's working because he's definitely not and he's 100% wasted about an hour and a half instead thinking about the fact that he should be working and isn't, but on the other hand with his own office he doesn't have anyone body-doubling for him anymore so there's literally nothing pressuring him from getting distracted and doing something else. Any time anyone talks to him he has to put all of his mental effort into trying to focus on them that he sometimes misses the entire conversation because he was focusing so hard on focusing on them. He's been banned from clicky pens in the office because he likes the sound and it drives everyone else (especially Paul) crazy. He thoughtlessly drums and taps his fingers on everything from tables to doorframes to his leg to whatever solid object is in front of him and/or in his hand. He's missed a good amount of company events on accident because he forgot the date (the only dates he has actively memorized are his birthday and the day that he lost Jenny), and so every time there's some kind of special event, he tries to make it a habit to write it down over and over again on post-it notes and stick them everywhere around his home and his office. There was more than a couple of times that he entirely forgot to pick Pete up from places because he was either too zoned in on his routine to remember that he was supposed to be doing something different or was like- watching a movie or something and forgot he had a brother entirely.
Do you see my vision? Or am I just going insane?
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shady-shrub · 1 year ago
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humans, objects, animals, and others of tumblr.
is there a word for being so angry at a place (school) that it makes you depressed? litteraly incapable of speech or action and the very thought of exploding seems more appealing than taking another step? that your friends are no longer a safe place to go to, but instead a reminder of happiness long ago that is no longer attainable? that all you can think about is death and murder and wanting to leave. you want to go back to a month ago when you would tell hatchetverse lore randomly but now dealing with the crushing weight of reality is too much. to be stuck in a screen because the real world is too much to handle right now and you just cried in math class 3 times? the sounds are too loud so you wear headphones and the lights are too bright so you look to the ground. there's people not following proper hallway rules but also there's only 5 feet of space so oh well. you draw people dying and crying on your assignments and it keeps escalating as the weeks grow longer.
but once youre in the safety and comfort of your home suddenly all the bad feelings go away? you smile??? you actually love life again and suddenly all the assignments aren't as hard as they seemed to be?? the world is brighter and nicer??
and returning to that awful place makes you want to cry and scream and throw up but not in the silly fun way. so youve decided to take days off which is great for your mental well being (waking up smiling? not being over/underestimulated? moving freely and getting to go outside to see the sun??) but your in person classes start to suck because no one in your friend group communicates what was done that day. they do not tell you that there's an assignment due today.
also the teachers have not spoke to me about the drawings at all. yes i know kids doodle but no one else in that class is making the page covered.
im ranting yes. sorry. i just need validation?? someone else give me your story?? hrngnvj my one friend suggested therapy. i would rather not because money and i dunno what i would even say
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canon-gabriel-quotes · 8 months ago
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im also floridian. this weather is too suspicious its not meant to be winter weather in march! summer will kill us all
It’s starting to heat up. But then it’s going down again?
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LOWS IN THE 60S AT THIS TIME OF YEAR IN THIS PART OF THE WORLD..? That ain’t right. No. It can’t be. No way.
It’s going to be a constant 102* in June-September because nice things aren’t allowed here and we must suffer. We’re supposed to get our designated 2 weeks of nice weather randomly in dec-feb and THATS IT. We have been too greedy. The end is coming.
*for non swamp dwellers, the actual temp stays between 80-95 mostly, but humidity makes it feel like you’re being steamed alive. Which is fun! (government mandated propaganda)
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naivety · 22 days ago
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my sense of urgency for this election was all used up watching a genocide play out live on instagram while my mom continued to talk about which politician might make the housing market better and i tried not to genuinely lose my mind over the dissonance. in all honesty short of bombs dropping on americans' houses my adrenal glands are beyond checked out. i'll show up to the polls and do my part and try to plug into the bare bones direct action i can find in the middle of nowhere deep red county state but god. there are so many posts circulating trying to fear monger me into voting for one genocidal president of this genocidal nation over another and i may as well live on a different planet. i can fathom the urgency but i could not make myself feel it short of being held at gunpoint. which may even be on the ballot but that's how americans have been voting for decades now and each of them regardless of party has worried about the idea of being held at gunpoint while a right of theirs is taken away while there are people who are already being held at gunpoint and their rights have already been taken away by the very people being beamed into my eyeballs as the escape from this hypothetical violence that's already non-hypothetically happened to millions who aren't US liberals because of the america they're trying to save from trump the same america regardless of democrats or republicans or whigs or federalists and does anyone else feel like they're going crazy
#j.txt#2024 elections#cannot imagine how american palestinians are feeling#it's genuinely... like i felt honest to god insane watching the boots on the ground journalists over there every day for like 4 months#and then going to work 5 days a week like any of this fucking matters#like nothing about this election can compare in my psyche to that like i'm not even trying to compare them but my brain like#changed shapes this year. and its shape now does not include a sense of urgency about fucking dollhouse barbie american politics after#experiencing all that. last year early this year#i still think about gaza every day but i'm privileged enough to have burned out obsessively getting updated every day#the ocean we swim in said this is normal now. israel committing genocide w our dollars is normal now#it's the same shit with the pandemic and i don't buy into it but the dissonance of the entire world around me spinning on that axis#while mine spins on a completely different one where thousands of people we could have saved are dead now#like sorry that is genuinely insane. i feel like my mind will actually break if i think about it for too long#it's a worldwide gaslight and it's Unfathomable that these political issues in my world#where thousands are dead. is not on my mom's political radar whatsoever like she's thinking about jesus and the housing market#like those thousands upon thousands of lives were never even REAL#i feel like i'm going crazy man it's so fucking ridiculous how am i supposed to take politics seriously with that split#like i know how and i still do but. can anyone here me it's just#it's genuinely a gaslight to think about it too long like i will feel like my reality is splintering
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compassmili · 1 month ago
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see this is why tumblr is better i literally asked one thing and immediately got so many helpful responses that didn't feel forced or dismissive or like people were just responding because theyd feel bad if they didnt
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spinecurlingmice · 19 hours ago
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didn't realize how bad my environment affected my mental state until i left it . ... november has been suspiciously nice to me and I've been having less thoughts abt how little I matter and wow. I've been like having more collective good days than I've had like all year.
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lilakennedy · 17 days ago
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I have literally consistently felt like I'm going insane since late June
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tendercoretroglodyke · 1 year ago
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I have some kind of weird evil wizard curse on me where I feel deeply sad and uniquely horrible when my beloved bestie roommate is home but feel Normal and Emotionally Regulated when theyre out like literally what is wrong with me good GOD get that girl some therapy !!!!
#sorry trying this thing where i speak the thoughts that haunt me and build up in my head as 'unspeakable' anxieties to weaken their power#good thing no one can see this!!!#anyways i want to reinterate that i love my bestie so much and i love BEING with them#but when theyre home and we're not actively hanging out and sometimes even when we ARE i get. like this#i dont understand it#not to be all emo mcdarkness or whatever but i really feel so much more lonely when im around people than when im alone#whats up w that??#like idk is it just a matter of me being jealous that my bestie spends more time with their partner than with me?#or am i jealous bc i dont HAVE a partner like that who is always there for me and considers me their number 1#OR am i in love with my bestie and unable to admit it to myself???#or am i just autistic and having a meltdown every time i socialize with people and realize i am not like them#and dont think i will ever have the emotional intelligence to have a healthy adult relationship like they do#and it drives me fucking crazy with grief??#vs when im alone im like. not even a person anymore and dont need to be seen i can simply exist and do puzzles and listen to podcast#????#no but fr this has been a major issue for a long time now and I'm only recently starting to uncover the patterns in my sadness#and im legitimately so scared im going to reach a point where i need to move out on my own and have more control over when i see my bestie#just to get a handle on this insane mood fluctuations that i truly dont understand#and i dont even know how i would begin to broach that topic with them#bc we have promised each other so many times we would always live together#please god let saying this all out loud make it easier to bear 🙏
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katadastical · 1 year ago
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I’ve recently gotten closer to a group of girls in one of my classes and they’re super nice but I’ve been sat here trying to have a normal conversation where I don’t bring up Star Wars, my art acc or gaming and it’s HARD
Like oh yea I like this game rdr2 :)
Acting as if I like it a normal amount meanwhile in every conversation I’m suppressing the urge to talk about Arthur Dumbass Morgan and John Meow Meow Marston the fictional middle aged cowboys
Like oh yea I love Star Wars!
and then I become very aware of my Star Wars wallpaper or my silly little Obi-Wan Kenobi picture in the back of my phone or the fact that in the background of EVERY FaceTime is an A3 empire strikes back poster-
I love my interests but man oh man is my neurodivergent showing I’m probably known as the Star Wars/gaming girl of my year group 😭 😭
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hexados-on-a-string · 1 year ago
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spectragus dont get enough credit for being a sun and moon ship but like. destructive sun and moon ship. sun and moon ship but they're the forces of nature the sun and moon actually are. the sun is harsh and relentless and unpredictable in its evil but also it's kindness, the moon is sharp and cold and cruel, a harsh light that doesn't allow you peace, but can also guide you, a light in the darkness. even on nights with a new moon, with no light in the sky, the moon is always reflecting the sun, and it'll be that way until they come to their end.
#spectragus give me a dopamine high that any sort of drug couldn't even come close to giving me#its the loyalty. its the seeing each other at their worst and still staying.#its the being the only person still around who knows and understands what youve been through#its the being so important to each other's characters that u cant mention one without recognising the impact the other has on them#i dont rlly do shipping unless its funny but also im a huge gus fan so like. yea. plus my view on romance is a bit all over the place anyway#something something my skrunkles deserve complicated relationships that are more than romantic but something else#its the trust thats the most important thing to me. trust and loyalty and devotion and#im sorry but i would have exploded if i like. didn't write down these thoughts#anyways fucked up gay people who are a package deal and that is a threat thats them#ik the majority of my posts are hee hee funnie and i usually dont take things too seriously#but these two have taken up part of my brain permanently since i was 8. like. they just live there. rent free.#i am like rabid rn. i am feral and i am insane and i am crazy and there are so many things wrong with me#i cant even write down all my fuckin thoughts there's so many my brain is going to Explode pray for me#idk if u understand how important it is to me the times they show kindness even while at their worst#they're not good people but they have people they care about and they care abt each other and that matters SO much#i take 0 criticism on my posts i only take cash. however there is no possible criticism to be made bc i am RIGHT#also this all kinda sparked from me getting obsessed with a certain kh character who has a connection to the moon#who is also one of my favourite characters ever#and if u know who it is and u also like him ur very cool#im not tagging this w character tags. im like. very shy. but#i love gus i love spectra i love spectragus#anyways see u next time where i should hopefully have art maybe potentially#i found the brushes i used to use back when i did lineless art so i am rlly happy
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pinktinselmonstrosity · 6 months ago
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this is so random but one of my flatmates turned the temperature of our fridge down without saying anything/checking and it's PISSING me off... my orange juice has frozen solid?? the chicken i got out to defrost last night is still completely frozen???
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immamapletreekid · 11 months ago
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playing pokemon black... started tearing up at skyarrow bridge
#THE SKYARROW BRIDGE THEME MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL BUT IM NOT EVEN SURE WHY?????#POKEMKN MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL AND I DO KNOW WHY!!!!!#god i wish i could have played it growing up... i have a ds but no actual cartridge and pokemon gamws sell for crazy amounts#i want to olay it on the ds for the full experience#one of my goals in life is to have my own copies of pokemon bw and platinum...#pokemon makes me cry. i love pokemon i love running around collectijg friends and battling cool people#idk i think 7 year old me tjougjt it was so cool how adults in games were so much kinder and cooler tjan real life adults#imagine being a gym leader and archeologist?!?!?!! a member od the elite four who fucking. shoots a guy w hyper beam point blank#i love lance hes insane#IMAGINE BEING CHAMPION OF HOENN! BEING HEIR TO THE LARGEST COMPANY IN HOENN! AND BEING A ROCK ENTHUSIAST WHO CAN SPEND HIS DAYS TRAVELLIMG T#HE WORLD LOOKING FOR RARE STONES!!! STEVEN STONE IS LIVING THE LIFE I WANT#but also i get so sad bc. when i first got into pokemon i was several years younger than the protags#when i first watched pokeani i was younger than ash!!!!! and now i am old :(#never going to br able to go back to spending summer vacation curled up at home going through 7 volumes of pokespe a day...#never goijg to be able to waych anipoke during winter break under a pillow fort again...#never goijg to be ahle to experience listening to n's farewell and the striaton city theme and skyarrow bridge theme and eterna forest and#littleroot town and nimbasa city and cianwood city and#so many other pieces for the first time again#rambling finished i guess first days of class make me cranky and sad#going ti go back to playijg pokemon black again...going to walk around castelia city and scream#rambling about stuff#rambling about pokemon
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peapod20001 · 1 year ago
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I wonder how many times I’ve googled whether I’m having a panic attack or an anxiety attack...
#vent#hohohahhaoho anyways#I am sooooo bad responding to things....#anyways I’m literally less than five seconds my heartbeat shot up to 144 bpm so. fun <3 my lucky number 44 wouldn’t have it any other way#anyways I need to cry but I can’t cry so you understand. I’m pacing my room and standing with locked knees#and trying not to fumble or bump into things while makin my sister a snack while smilin and being normal <3#do u understand. ough what is with TODAY whhhhh. is it the aderall?? did the adderall fuck me up today?? or ?? wha??#oghghgg why am I so sweaty JUST in my pits like that’s the WORST spot to be sweaty in#kitty is here <3 she can sense when I’m crazy 🤪🤪#I’m at 160 now <3 ogohohoo ahhhhh I can’t lay down right like that the one thing you shouldn’t do with a fast heart rate#hoho anyways the crippling fear of not being who I need to be for the people I need in order to be#sounds chaotic and strange cus of phrasing but. you understand#anyways my heart doesn’t even get like this when I’m like. performing a full page monologue in front of my peers#I can pretend to be a cat for a minute and a half and tell the dog to stay in their place and not get into mine#uhmmm yea idk I want people to feel comfortable being serious around me and prove I’m the friend to go to for things or be the one who under#understands. but I always feel like. a pariah. is that the word? idk. when I feel confronted with things all I can do is like. run away. cry#suffer alone cus it’s what I deserve. yeaaaa I’m going insane can you tell I think this is the first time since like. February where I feeL#SO bad ugh idk what. I did this to myself the fuck?? haha. hope it doesn’t stress me to hair loss and skin picking and disorderd eating and#bad (or should I say worse HA) sleep habits. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm sorry my problems are minuscule to others and I haven’t had a day of#any real discrimination or struggle in my life#i have everything I need. all I have to worry about is doing class work and attending lectures and watching plays. I don’t have to get thing#a myself or worry about food or a place to live. wooofff uhmmm. I wish I had someone here to squeeze me until I don’t feel like crying any#more. oh I feel so bad what the hell. and my nail is breaking ahahaha imagine. a life where my biggest problem I have to face is#a nail breaking mhmhmhaha#haha when you hold in your tears so hard your nose drenches your chin. sorry that’s gross ahaha idk what I’m doing flooding your dash with.#whatever this is. I’ll try to stop now. sorry
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fappellmoan · 2 years ago
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things have not been normal. im so tired.
#i nap all the fucking time cause im so tired and my body is like making me get rest one way or another but then i wake up#and everything is still just waaagghghghggh you know. i am fucking sick of it!#i am not just a normal amount of tired i have been on the verge of shutdown since at least mid semester hanging on by a fucking#pinky nail like im going to be fucking insane. i NEED a break. if i need to check into a psych place to have that happen so be it#one way or another yall will leave me ALONE.#tired of people holding it over my head like when they've done shit lately esp when it's bc of how badly ive been fucking struggling#im not just being lazy!!!! im losing it!!!!! and that makes me feel like i cant reach out or rely on others cause i'll always fucking owe#them something or im always gonna be on thin ice in potentially fucking things up#like i need two seconds to get back to myself i need time to reconnect i cant fucking do this anymore#i love myself i dont like how im acting rn bc im just desperately in need of a break#and god yeah fucking arent we all but i need someone to see that it's bad and just. Be with that. not shame me or make me feel like shit#or fucking less of a person or like i need to like Bring it down a notch or whatever idfk.#just kind of saying things now. i need to journal and cry i think.#abby talks#i dont LIKE napping my days away i dont like not having time to do things i enjoy other than like laying around watching stuff#or being on my phone but i have genuinely not had it in me to do anything else.#anyway. i think i seriously need to be okay with being 'meaner' aka just prioritizing MY feelings and being ok if people r mad at me#cause it honestly feels like ive gaslit myself so many times into thinking im crazy to the point where i struggle in the most basic#situations. uggggghh.
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