#or being on my phone but i have genuinely not had it in me to do anything else.

[simpjaes]

Pomellato Jay giving me brothers bff thoughts😮‍💨

1:27 a.m.

You all just came home from a party. Jay saw you shivering bc your skimpy little dress was perfect to tease him, but didn’t help with the weather outside. So him, being the sweet gentlemen he is, gave you his black blazer. It covered you completely, and it made you look as if you had nothing beneath it; which was driving Jay insane…

Your phone started to ping next to you:

1:27 a.m - Jay:

- Could you please go change your clothes

1:27 a.m - You:

- why? I feel cozy with your blazer on..

1:29 a.m - Jay:

- That’s not it

- I can’t control myself in front of your brother

1:31 a.m - Jay:

- please baby

- Or go wait for me upstairs

HELPPPPPPPP

i hope you don't mind me changing the text string. wc: 833 ~

1:27 a.m - Jay: you're home now, can i please have my blazer back?

1:27 a.m - You: but whyyyyyy, its so comfy

1:29 a.m - Jay: just....please You glance at him, noting how stiff he appears compared to his usual, relaxed and casual self. Your brother, sitting on the other side of him flipping through some streaming app with a bored sigh. Now, you look down at yourself, back to Jay, back down at yourself, then you curl up on the couch. Smirking a little bit because you're well aware that the blazer rides up, dragging your skirt with it.

1:34 a.m - Jay: fucking stop doing that

1:35 a.m - You: getting excited? 1:35 a.m - Jay: what do you think? You watch him closer, seeing the way he looks at you before glancing towards Jake nervously. "Jake?" You suddenly say, breaking the silence in the room [bc jake still hasn't landed on a fucking show.] "Hm?" He pays no mind, still focused on the tv. "Where is your watch? Weren't you wearing it earlier?" He wasn't. You know he wasn't, but sometimes gaslighting is okay. "Was I?" He says, now sitting up. "Fuck, where did it go?" "I think you left it at Heeseung's place. Might wanna go get it before someone steals it." Jake doesn't even question it, hopping up with a muttered curse under his breath and heading out the door without even looking back at you or his best friend. Silence fills the room, except now...it's loud. "You want me to give you your blazer back?" You ask, narrowing your eyes at him with a cheeky smirk. "You know what you're doing." He groans, finally relaxing his body and sinking into the couch. His legs spread out wide when he throws his head back in that same groan, and you can't help but stare at the way his adam's apple bobs through a swallow. "It's been a couple of weeks, you know-" You start, slipping the blazer off of you and making sure the straps of your tank top slide down with it. "Was starting to think you really didn't want me anymore." Jay grimaces. He feels guilty for so many things. One, you're his best friend's sister. Two, he knows if Jake found out, the friendship would sour. Three, he still wants you so fucking bad he could genuinely cum right fucking now if you so much as say his name. After seeing you like that in his clothes, arguably better when you're entirely naked? His kind gesture backfired so goddamn fast. He remembered instantly the last time you were on top of him, missing the feeling of you so badly. The way his blazer fits you now, the way you swim in the fabric, the way you refuse to take it off. He knows you still want him too. And, well, Jake's not here. "You clever little-" He pauses, seeing your bare shoulders as his blazer slides down. Your thighs still bare and exposed from under it. "Fuck." You stand now, fully removing his blazer and revealing the same slutty outfit you wore tonight. Was it to get on his nerves? Yes. Was it to get on his cock? Yes. Jake wasn't too fond of you dressed like this, but who fucking cares about what he thinks anyway? "Just one more time?" You ask now, more innocently. All while rubbing your thighs together and using one hand to slide up your shirt. "We can make it fast." Jay rolls his eyes, the twitch in his pants growing thicker and thicker, to the point he cant help but grab at himself now. Another groan, and his eyes narrow at you. "You want it fast?" He asks now, the same sultry tone you had grown to miss so much. "And hard." You add, throwing yourself back on the couch and making sure your legs are spread. Wide. It's not long before you feel his familiar hands pressing your wrists into the cushions, hovering over you and blatantly pressing himself between your thighs. "You miss it that much?" He asks in a raspy whisper, smirking only slightly at the face you make in response. Only because he's fucked his fist to that same face so many goddamn times. "Mhm." You hum, wiggling a bit under him. "Don't you?" He breaks at that point, releasing one of your wrists and shoving it down his pants, all so he can bury himself into you without fuss. No foreplay, no teasing, no grinding. Just pure penetration. There's a moan from him that fills your ears, one that sounds more desperate than he would normally sound. Just a few weeks ago it was you sounding like that. Whiny, needy. "Fuck, yeah I do." He breathes this time, holding his breath as he does as he promised. Fast. hard. So fast, and so hard, that neither of you hear the door unlocking and Jake prancing in before freezing on the spot. "You motherfucker." ~

[azzifuddslover]

off the court

paige bueckers x azzi fudd

themes: angst, jealously

tw: swearing (i think that’s all?)

word count: 2.7k

a/n: i had fun with this chapter! excited to continue writing 😋 i had to ofc add the lil dijonai & lyss foul haha. also if u have any one shot suggestions please please lemme know! enjoy

CHAPTER TWO

“oh my goodness, hi!” nika pulled each one of the freshmen into a warm embrace. “we’re so excited to have you guys here!”

we? paige thought to herself, that she didn’t dare speak out loud.

“we’re excited to be here!” caroline smiled at the three older girls, as aubrey and azzi hugged.

paige purposefully put distant between herself and the curly headed brunette, not wanting to start arguments her first day.

“so, where do you guys wanna see next?” aubrey questioned, while paige remained silent, keeping to herself.

“you tell us,” ashlynn said, excitedly.

“alright,” nika slung her arm around paige’s shoulder, “let’s go show you the dorms then.”

as the seven girls made their way to the dorm rooms, azzi walked behind aubrey who led the way, while nika and paige placed themselves in the back.

“you good, p?” nika whispered, “it’s unlike you to be this quiet.”

paige plastered a smile on her face, “all good, nik.”

“no, seriously, what’s up?”

“i’m fine, really. just tired,” she reassured her close friend, gently squeezing her shoulder.

minutes later the girls arrived at the dorms when nika spoke up.

“i think it’s best to divide into groups so we can still get lunch. aubrey, show caroline and yanna your room, paige show azzi yours and i’ll show ash mine.”

of course nika would place azzi with paige. alone.

“um, i’ll take ashlynn,” paige suggested, but it was too late. ashlynn was already off with nika, aubrey was leading carol and yanna to her dorm.

azzi stood awkwardly in the hallway, eyes focused on the floor, as paige glanced once at her before taking off to her room.

“cmon,” she muttered, passing azzi.

azzi was hesitant to follow, but she did regardless, keeping her head low while nerves twisted in her stomach. azzi couldn’t remember the last time she was alone with paige, if ever. the pair have clearly never gotten along, so she was nervous to see where this would go.

paige opened the door to her dorm, that she shared with another teammate, dorka, who happened to be laying in her bed.

“hey dorka,” paige said, announcing her presence along with azzi’s.

“hey p,” dorka looked at her, then at the freshmen, “who’s this?”

“one of the new freshmen, azzi.”

dorka smiled at azzi in a reassuring manner, then pulled her in for a quick hug. “welcome to uconn, azzi!”

azzi gently hugged the older girl back, feeling less nervous with dorka being there. “happy to be here.”

“you’re going to love it. i’m a transfer, and its absolutely amazing. the girls are all so great, geno can be a bit tough, but he means well,” dorka explained.

azzi was genuinely excited for her start at university of connecticut. she’s always kept uconn as an option for her future school, and finally was able to commit just a few weeks ago. she figured it’d be the best fit for her, despite paige being here.

“well, i told lou i’d meet her in the dining hall, so i’ll catch y’all later,” dorka said, grabbing her bag and phone before quickly leaving.

the silent in the small dorm was haunting. paige’s eyes were focused on her phone, while azzi motionlessly stood against the wall, waiting for any sort of conversation.

“so, do you like it here so far?” paige asked, finally breaking the silence.

azzi looked over at paige, “it’s nice, yeah. the girls seem nice.”

“that’s good,” paige replied.

“are you excited to meet-“

“you don’t have to make small talk, paige. we both know you aren’t happy with me committing here,” azzi bite out.

paige scolded her eyes, “you’re right. i’m not happy with you being here. but i can’t change it, can i?”

“nope, you can’t. let’s just ignore each other like we’ve always have.”

secretly, paige didn’t want to ignore azzi. she couldn’t. but she pretended to did it anyway.

“fine by me,” paige shouted, walking towards the door.

“where are you going? this is literally your room!”

“anywhere else but here, with you. go catch up with nika or something,” paige muttered as she left, leaving azzi staring at the door.

it was the first day of practice with the new additions to the uconn team, and paige successfully avoided azzi at all costs. whenever the team got together, they’d always converse with other players, never daring to look each other’s way.

paige brought the basketball up the court during a 5v5 match. she directed the players on her team to her liking, then passed it to lou who made the open 3 shot. aubrey secured the rebound, threw it off to azzi, who began to bring it to the opposing net. paige, of course, was right on her heels, defending her. azzi noticed the blonde from the corner of her eye, looking unbothered as ever.

reaching the 3 point line with paige right there, azzi considers all the potential lanes to the basket. when nika, part of the opposing team, goes to defend aubrey, azzi sprints through an open lane, going for the layup.

paige was quick to notice her plan, though. she blocked the ball from entering the basket, hitting azzi in the process. it was an obvious foul.

“hey, that’s a foul!” azzi shouted.

paige, who’s grinning to herself, adverted her eyes to the brunette. “no it wasn’t, it was clean.”

“bullshit!”

“you’re just mad you can’t make a shot on me,” paige replied.

“please. like i haven’t done it before!” azzi exclaimed loud enough for heads to turn.

“ladies!” coach auriemma interrupted their argument, “make sure to stay after practice.”

for goodness sake, paige thought to herself.

“this is all your fault,” paige whispered, loud enough for only azzi could hear.

azzi simply rolled her eyes at paige’s remark. she wasn’t going to let the older girl distract her further; she’s already done it enough.

practice quickly came to a close; azzi managed to put distance between herself and paige, not wanting to cause any more trouble than she already had.

each one of the basketball players made their way out of the gym, while azzi and paige anxiously remained, waiting for coach.

his office door opened, “come on in.”

paige took the left chair as azzi took the right, both not saying a word. coach auriemma looked pissed.

“your behaviors is unacceptable. if you both want to help this team succeed, we’ll all need to get along, including you two. especially you guys. you both are two of the best players we have, and i’m going to need y’all to quit it with the bickering and focus on the game. am i clear?”

“yes, coach,” paige and azzi say in unison.

“alright then. with that being said, go out to eat with one another. get to know each other. i don’t know what caused your disliking of each other, but it’s got to change immediately,” geno auriemma instructed the girls.

paige’s eyes widen as azzi shifted uncomfortably in her seat, clearly not pleased with his suggestion. but azzi was new, and she only wanted to please her coach.

“that sounds fine by me,” azzi said, despite her brain saying she’d rather do anything else.

paige stole a glance at the younger girl, before also agreeing.

“good. when tomorrow comes around, i better not hear any arguments. and if i do, the pair of you will face further consequences. am i understood?”

paige nodded her head rapidly, “yes coach.”

“so, where do you wanna go?” azzi questioned the blonde after exiting coach auriemma’s office.

paige rolled her eyes, “we aren’t actually going anywhere together. if you thought that, you’re crazy.”

azzi couldn’t help but be slightly shocked that paige would lie to their coach. “paige, i’m not getting into more trouble just because of you. look, i don’t want to go anywhere with you either, but we have no choice. let’s just get it over with.”

paige absorbed azzi’s words, carefully considering them. “alright, fine,” she sighed, “where too?”

“do you like chick fa la?”

“uh, yeah. who doesn’t? that’s like asking if i breath air.”

after a silent car ride with paige driving and azzi being the passenger princess, the two ordered their meals and sat in an open booth, facing one another.

paige continued not to look azzi in the eye. azzi, however, was harshly glaring at the older girl. “are you going to ignore me forever or actually acknowledge we’re teammates?”

paige finally locked gazes with azzi, “i was planning to ignore you forever.”

azzi couldn’t help but softly chuckle, “of course you were.”

paige lips rose at the sight of azzi’s breathtaking smile, “you make it impossible, though.”

“oh, really? it seems you’ve been doing it pretty damn well for as long as i’ve known you.”

paige didn’t dare to tell her that ignoring azzi is the hardest thing someone could do. it wasn’t just her skills on the court, that could make anyone, including paige, second-guess their game. it was the way azzi carried herself, making everything she did seem effortless, even when it wasn’t. her silent confidence and her ability to make everyone feel included even in a busy crowd. paige hated how much she admired the young girl from afar; how looking at azzi made her forget about everything and everyone around her. it was impossible to ignore a girl like azzi.

instead, paige settled on, “you’re just a pretty good player. i always notice good players.”

after swallowing a bite of a chicken nugget, azzi leaned her elbows on the table, a small smirk lingering on her face. “so now you admit to me being good?”

paige couldn’t help but roll her eyes at her comment regarding USA basketball days. “whatever, whatever.”

azzi laughed to herself, and continued to enjoy her meal, while paige also focused on eating rather than the conversation.

azzi and paige eventually relaxed to each other’s presence, feeling more comfortable than before. they discussed the challenging classes they were taking and geno’s firm coaching methods; the girls began to somewhat enjoy each others company, when a boy around their age walked up to their table.

paige and azzi both looked up at the man, who was directly eyeing the brunette. azzi’s cheeks reddened at the sudden attention.

“can we help you?” paige asked, making the man turn to look at her.

“yeah, uh, i was wondering if i could get your number? you’re, like, really pretty,” the man said to azzi.

her cheeks were basically inflamed at this point, “uh,” she tried to think of the words, “sure, i guess?”

paige scoffed at azzi’s interaction with this random guy. they were finally talking and she had to ruin it. paige clenched her fists and suddenly rose from the table, causing the man and azzi to look at her.

“i’m going to the car,” paige announced, taking off before azzi could get another word out.

after paige’s exit, the boy looked helplessly at azzi, beaming regardless of paige’s reaction. he was pretty cute, but azzi didn’t have the time to focus on anything but basketball and her classes.

“i’m kameron, by the way,” he said.

“i’m azzi, but i gotta go, sorry,” azzi replied, trying to hurry out of there as soon as possible.

“wait, your number-“ but azzi was already out the door.

azzi climbed into the passenger seat, immediately aware that this ride will be even more awkward than the one they previously had.

paige’s grip on the steering wheel caused her knuckles to turn white. when azzi noticed, she softly asked, “are you okay?”

“are you kidding me, azzi? we were finally getting along and you had to ruin it by giving some dude attention. what the actual fuck?”

“it wasn’t my fault he came up to me!” azzi shouted at paige.

“you could’ve said no! but instead you agreed right in front of me!”

azzi gaped at paige, “why do you care who asks me for my number?”

“i don’t!” paige answered defensively, although it was a complete lie.

“what are you, jealous?”

paige’s cheeks tinted at her comment, “don’t be silly, azzi.” she turned on the car and began driving down the road.

arriving back on campus, paige instantly took off without as much as a glance at azzi. after their short argument in the car, paige blasted music to avoid further comments from azzi.

azzi scrolled into her dorm that she shared with caroline, letting out an aggravated sigh.

“you good, girl?” carol asked azzi, with her eyebrows drawn together.

“yeah. coach auriemma made me and paige go out to eat, trying to make us get to know one another. complete bullshit, if you ask me.”

“why don’t y’all like each other, anyway?” carol questioned her friend.

“i don’t know! i have no idea what i did to her. she’s hated me ever since USA basketball,” azzi complained.

caroline looked around in confusion. “wait, so what went down when you guys were out?”

“we were actually talking, without arguing, and a guy came up, asking for my number. paige just got up and left. then in the car, she got all pissing and screamed how i said yes ‘right in front of her,’” azzi made quotations with her fingers.

caroline laughed at azzi’s explanation. “what?” azzi smiled.

“she was jealous!”

although azzi accused paige of being jealous earlier, she didn’t exactly believe it to be true. how could paige be jealous of someone hitting on azzi? she hated her.

“no, trust me, she wasn’t. she was just upset for some reason.”

“oh my god, she’s totally in love with you or something,” carol suggested as azzi turned pink.

“caroline, she’s not. she’s constantly avoiding me and is always mean. does that really should like her liking me?”

carol held out her hands like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “um, yes!”

azzi couldn’t comprehend how caroline got the impression that paige was in love with her. that was beyond crazy. paige’s hatred for azzi has been going strong ever since USA basketball tryouts. there was just no way.

practice the next day was going smoothly; paige and azzi didn’t interact much, like the usual, which didn’t cause geno to enable further consequences for the young girls. azzi was showing off her 3 point shooting skills, while paige continued to be an assist machine.

it was time for another 5v5, and of course paige and azzi were on opposing teams. azzi drained 3 after 3, getting impressive looks from her teammates as well as the two coaches.

a long rebound ended up near the 3 point line, to which azzi managed to secure it. however, she didn’t see the older blonde who was also going for the rebound right behind her. paige crashed into azzi, knocking her to the floor face first. paige maintained her standing position, with each one of her legs around azzi’s torso.

without thinking, paige reached down to place both hands on azzi’s hips, gently pulling her up. azzi’s ass was flush against paige’s front, sending unwelcome feelings throughout the blonde’s body.

there’s a brief moment of awkward silence, azzi still slightly disoriented from the fall. paige’s hands lingered on azzi’s hips a second too long, not that azzi made any hint to move them. she can feel the older girls hands on her body, steady and warm, making her heart skip a beat in her chest.

“you good?” paige whispered, practically in the curly brunette’s ear, given the distance between the girls.

“yeah, thanks,” azzi replied breathlessly, trying desperately to hide the flush creeping up her neck.

after noticing her lingering hands on the hips of azzi, paige removes them acting as calm as possible. paige notices a shift in tone and smirks, teasing the younger girl, “didn’t think i hit you that hard.”

azzi responds with a snark of her own, “i’m not fragile, you know,” attempting to look tougher than she truly is.

paige’s smirk widens as she allows her eyes to take in the sight of azzi. messy bun, leg sleeve, practice jersey slightly ruffled. she looked good.

“like what you see?” azzi commented on paige’s wandering eyes.

embarrassed, paige looks away, “you wish.”

azzi softly chuckles as the freshmen makes her way over to caroline and yanna, ready to continue the 5v5.

in a dais, paige stands motionless in the spot of her and azzi’s interaction, silently wishing she could have one more excuse to talk to her.

but the older girl didn’t, so she walked back into position, ready for the next play to come.

[bokunokamijirou]

SELF SABOTAGE // Denki Kaminari x reader

m.list

synopsis: Denki is pushing everyone away post-war, reader won't let him :)

cw: sadness, hurt/comfort, depression, isolation

inspo: self-sabotage by waterparks!

Ring ring ring

Denki hears his phone buzz as he lifts his head from under the nice warm comforter. He had been sleeping a lot lately, more than usual. He picks up his phone and glances at the screen with half open eyes. It's you, his best friend and significant other.

He's hesitant to answer, but he does.

"Hey my love, are you almost ready for our date today?" your tone is hopeful over the phone. You two haven't gone out on your own in a while, and you miss him.

"Oh... about that..." his voice is groggy and lacking enthusiasm. You brace yourself.

"It's okay Denki, I understand." you try not to sound too disappointed. Your partner hadn't been around you much lately, and you were starting to worry.

At first, you thought maybe it was something you had done. Then, as the weeks went on, you noticed he was isolating from his friends too. Retreating into himself. He was lacking confidence, his usual charisma, and the smile he always wore.

When you ask him about it, he doesn't give you a real answer. He says he's tired.

But he's been 'tired' for a month and a half now.

"We don't have to go on a date, but can I come over? I miss your face." you practically beg.

"If you want, sure" he replies shortly. After you agree to go to his place, he covers himself in his blankets once again.

When you see him, you can't help but feel concerned immediately. His eyes were heavy and his face was pale. He looked exhausted. You think that maybe he was telling the truth, that he was just tired.

But, when you get closer, you see something else in those eyes. It's pain. It's anger. Sadness. You see the swirls of emotions turning through, paired with an emotionless face to hide it all away.

That's when it clicks for you; Denki Kaminari, human sunshine, is depressed. When the war first ended, you were all in shock. But Denki kept his usual jokes cracking where he could. He seemed alright - even when you asked him to make sure he was doing okay. You realize now that he was lying through his teeth.

"Denki..." you whisper as you crawl into bed next to him. You wrap an arm across his chest and face him, laying on your side as he lays on his back, eyes trained on the ceiling.

"Sorry it's kind of dark in here" he mutters.

You shake your head and look at his face. You examine each part of him, pressing a gentle kiss against his cheek. "I don't mind the dark when it's with you."

He cracks a small smile, but it fades quickly. He breathes deeply and you feel his chest rise and fall beneath your arm.

"I love you Denki." you whisper to him, "and I don't care what it is you're carrying, you don't need to do it alone."

"Everything feels so heavy," he says after a beat of silence.

"It doesn't have to be heavy if you let me carry it with you." you smile slightly but keep your eyes locked on his.

"I'm sorry I'm such a mess" he sighs.

"Messes get cleaned up faster in groups, don't you think?" You smile again and close your eyes as you rest your chin against his chest.

"Why don't we call our friends up for a movie night? Being around them could be fun" you suggest.

"... can we make it a pajama party?" he asks, peaking at you from behind his heavy eyes.

"Of course, but you should probably shower first. Don't want them to do you dirty like you did Izuku" you start to giggle, and that breaks him in the best way. He smiles, his first genuine smile in weeks.

"I love you" he breathes.

"I love you more" you press a kiss to his nose.

"I love you most" he smiles again.

“We’ll be okay, I’ve got you” you whisper before pulling him in for a tight hug.

[vamphorica]

How would a female Mello, matt, and Near be?

absolutely wonderful question, anon, thank you so much. if you've been on my blog for any length of time, it is probably not surprising that i've given this a lot of thought and, putting aside my intricate transgender speculations for the time being, let's gender swap the wammy's creatures, and consider how that could impact their narratives within death note.

note: i will still be referring to all three using he/him pronouns, but this is not intended to be intentionally contrary. feel free to substitute whatever pronouns your heart desires throughout.

♀ mello -> mihaela may be a little bit obvious, haha, but if mihael is a croatian name that means 'who is like god', and we need to retain the letter 'm' for obvious reasons, i think it works well as a feminine alternative name. mello is relatively androgynous as an alias, if not slightly masculine, but i think it is fine given what i'm about to talk about.

mello's canonical gender expression is already nonconformative, so it is interesting to speculate what he would he look like if he were a girl. one of my absolute favourite genderbent depictions of mello is this piece by thekatzone because it still retains mello's visual ambiguity but in the opposite direction. i do think he would dress more masculine as a woman not only because his subversive appearance is a very significant aspect to his character, but also because of how it might relate to his position in the mafia.

mello spends a significant amount of time in the manga and anime in hypermasculine environments despite his presentation, and i think it is important to retain this idea even if he were to be genderbent. i do think mello would have had a much harder time, if it was at all possible, in attaining a leadership position within the mafia as a woman. the women who frequent the base are implied to be sex workers, and so i'm genuinely curious as to whether mello would have felt able to approach the organisation as a masculine presenting woman, or whether he'd seek out a different group. in which case, what would that group be? would he have been able to effectively carry out his insane plans in the same capacity?

i have very little doubt mello would still have been ambitious, but i actually don't think that he would have been able to pursue his goal to catch kira before near as he went about it in the series. certainly light would not have taken him seriously if the voice he heard down the phone was higher pitched, and that alone could have greatly impacted how sayu's kidnapping played out, as underestimating mello could have easily resulted in her death.

♀ matt -> apparently mail as a name means 'pleasant', and that is very funny to me. i quite like the name maille, which is irish, so fits nicely with a vague headcanon i haven't fully developed. i also learnt it is the name for a brand of mustard, and i think he would appreciate that. matt as a pseudonym might have to be changed to matilda, or martha.

while i am under no illusion that matt would be the kind of girl to give a shit about their appearance, i do think in another life, he would have made an excellent e-girl twitch streamer. i can imagine him wearing cat ear headphones and miniskirts, and referring to "chat" every five seconds. rest in peace, mail, you would have loved twitch subs.

regarding matt's gender identity in the canon series, i think that it worth considering how he might have responded differently to surveying others as a woman rather than as a man. i think matt's approach to watching others is very informed by his own personal biases, which I think are definitively masculine. The most clear example of this is how he describes misa as "an awfully cute japanese girl" which, while isn't necessarily the worst thing said about a woman in this godforsaken series, demonstrates that matt's perspective on women is superficial at best. this isn't helped either by the fact that he completely fucks up when guessing misa's age, even going so far as referring to her as a "child".

i think a female matt would probably feel the most overwhelmed of the three by societal expectations of women, and may even distance himself away from femininity. i'm not trying to suggest here that matt's comments imply he's misogynistic, but i actually think matt is the most masculine of the wammy's kids, which may be controversial, i don't know. i believe that he retains his masculine personality in this genderbent scenario.

♀ near -> i love the japanese pronunciation of near's name, nia, as a girl's name that he could use as an alias. natania has the same meaning as nate – 'gift of god' – which does not match his character at all, haha, but that is what i managed to come up with.

near is the easiest to consider gender swapping because to me, he's a girl anyway. you can point to his female voice actors in the anime, or his long hair in the 2020 manga one-shot, but he is also so clearly coded as a feminine character, a contrast from not only mello's aggressive impulsivity, but the masculine environment of law enforcement. with halle as a notable exception (who herself is very masculine, but another post, perhaps), near is markedly different from every other character in the series. some might say he resembles his predecessor, but i think they are very distinct from one another as characters.

my personal opinion relating to mello and near's gender identities (which you may disagree with) is that mello expresses his gender ambiguity externally whereas near does so internally. essentially, if we interpret them both as androgynous, mello's appearance is far more expressive of this, whereas near's behaviour is his more nonconformative trait. this can be a slightly tricky area to navigate as it's important not to dive headfirst into gender essentialism, but i think near's mannerisms can, and should, be explored here.

girl near would still be able to work as head of the spk, without the disadvantages girl mello would face to become head of the mafia. i really don't think there would be much in the way of significant plot deviance if near was female, other than maybe light freaking out over the fact he was caught by a woman, which would be very funny. in the one shot, near's internal androgyny has manifested itself as a more external expression, and i really like that decision.

to conclude, i do love the concept of the wammy's girls, and i think it invites some interesting discussions relating to how femininity is often dismissed in death note. there's a lot of creativity in genderbending characters. mello, matt and near each have complex and interesting traits that are very fun to explore when thinking about them from this perspective.

[idkwhatthisisfuck]

I know you don’t…

Pairing: Baekhyun x OC

Warnings: none

In which OC has inferiority complex and a toxic mindset.

“I know you don’t like expensive things but look what I got you,” Baekhyun mumbles against her skin softly. She looks over her shoulder and squints at the older male as he cranes his neck to fish out something underneath his pillow.

Before she can see the mysterious gift Baekhyun has gotten for her, she catches the mischievous glint in his eyes, just as usual. Like the old times.

And then there was a silver watch. Undoubtedly, from one of those high-end luxury watch brands. Damn, people with money be spending a fortune to invest on something, something like a watch knowing well they could also use digital devices like phones for it nowadays. Is that supposed to be a reminder that no matter how long she’s been lifted up by Baekhyun in terms of living standards, her roots would never change.

“Baek—”

“Shush,” he leans in, sucking softly at her bottom lip. “I know what you’re gonna say. But you’re not working at the diner anymore now, are you? You’re a corporate girl now. There’s nothing wrong with you showing off a little bit. And you’re my girl. My person for me to spend my money on. And you deserve it all. You deserve all the luxury’s in the world. I’m not gonna let those thoughts get to your head, you hear me?”

She wants to laugh. Those thoughts. Baekhyun, you have no idea. The way he said “Those thoughts”— as if he knows she’ll never fucking measure up.

Golden boy Baekhyun saved his low-class wife from going through living hell, working seven days in a week for a minimum wage, living paycheck to paycheck with zero savings for her future. She should be grateful for that. Right?

Baekhyun I want to wait until my car’s paid off. The look on Baekhyun’s face was nothing but comical. These kinds of people… they have enough in their lives to not have gone through how harsh it could go out there being born without privilege.

I mean— I- I could help you with that now. He had said that time.

And here they are.

Tears that probably won’t see the light of the day well up behind her lids. She can’t crumble. Not in front of him. But every time Baekhyun comes up with stuff like this, she feels her ego falling apart. Like a bitch slap that rubs in her face to remind she’s still nothing. No matter how many gold and glitters Baekhyun adorns her with, she will never be more than a person who never fits in. In fact, she dulls the gold and goodness. She looks at the watch sitting still on his palm. And then she looks at Baekhyun, who is watching, who likes to study every little expression her face makes. Baekhyun probably is someone who has the biggest heart she knows in life. Why can’t she learn anything from him? Maybe if she was born privileged, she would be a decent person like him too.

With a trembling hand and a heavy heart, she takes the million-dollar-worth watch out of his hand. “Thank you, Baekhyun. I love it so much.” With that, she plants a soft kiss on his lips.

She tries to force out a smile. Baekhyun beams. In that moment, the things she sees in Baekhyun’s eyes are love, adoration and sincerity. Unlike someone else when they pretend to be happy. Baekhyun’s eyes have always been genuine, endearing and so full of life. Baekhyun never pretends. Baekhyun never half-asses a smile, or a compliment.

She can’t lie the fact that the way his soft eyes keep darting down to her lips is sending her brain and heart to overdrive. She doesn’t dislike being tied down to him. It’s just that…

“Tell me you love me then.”

Her throat closes. Does she?

“I love you, Baekhyun.”

Do I really?

[seitmai]

“No, it’s not.” I told him. “But it is. I should’ve found a different way to separate you from your parents.” I huffed. “Jake, there was no other way. Any longer and who knows where I’d be and with who.” I said as I dangled my legs off the bed, sitting next to him. “No. I should’ve come up with something else. It is my fault.” I just huffed and fell back on the bed, putting my legs back under the covers. “What are you doing?” He asked. “I’m not arguing with you Jake. I’m not doing the back and forth and the taking blame bullshit. If anything it makes me feel worse so just stop.” I fully expected him to get mad and walk out but instead he laid down next to me, tossing his arm over my waist. “I love you.” He muttered. I sat there in silence for a while before I spoke up. “I love you too.” It didn’t take long at all for me to go back to sleep after that.

They both feel so guilty, it could tear them apart... but they realize they are stronger and can get through this together 🫶🏻

“I know a guy, he’s helped me multiple times.” 

Of course Mav has a lawyer that had to help him multiple times lmao

“Hey, Hangman. Look at you being all domestic.” He chuckled. “Never thought I would enjoy it so much.” They both laughed.

Hangman is very much not used to this 😅

“When Pete called me I was surprised when he told me he was calling to get help for someone else. Usually when he calls me, it’s never good.” I cracked a small smile at his remark. “Maverick does have quite the reputation.” Jake said and Mr. Sterling nodded.

Hahahah an what a reputation at that😅

Mr. Sterling and Jake both huffed. “As you should.” Mr. Sterling said, jotting down some notes. “I managed to get out of the truck and run towards my house and he cut me off. I managed to draw attention by screaming and our neighbor came out but my parents brushed it all off. My parents were mad I didn’t just let him do it and risked ruining their precious image.” Mr. Sterling just sat there speechless until I pulled out the photos I took. “I took these right after it happened.” He just sat there dumbfounded as I went on.

This is so heartbreaking 💔 I'm glad she took photos though makes for a good case!

But I want to counter charge them both. After everything that has happened I want them both to pay for everything.” He nodded, gathering everything I laid on his desk. “Mind if I make copies?” I shook my head, “Not at all.” He nodded, pressing a button on his phone. “I think we have a very solid case here. I think we could win it, honestly.” Now it was my turn to be surprised. “Really?” He nodded. “I don’t want to get too boisterous but I think with everything we have, photos, witnesses, your diagnosis, I don’t think her charges will even stand.” I looked at Jake, the first genuine smile on my face in days. “If you’d like, I’d love to take your case and work with you two.”

Yes 👏🏻 let's fuck them up!!

Undiagnosed // Ch. 23

Mature Content 18+

Jake Seresin x Neurodivergent OC

Summary: Katie Blair grew up trying to be the perfect daughter. She always struggled to be the prim and proper little girl her parents wanted. Big personality as a kid, but now at 25, she's the shy admiral's daughter who just keeps her head down and tries to get through law school. So what happens when she's had enough and with help from a certain Lieutenant, she gets out.

Warnings: Emotional abuse, trauma response, abusive parents, smut.

Word Count: 3.4k

Chapter 22 | Masterlist

I’m not sure how long we sat against the wall, but I finally got up to feed the kittens again. Jake and I didn’t say anything to each other, he threw away his beer and grabbed another before plopping down on the couch and turning on the tv. Once I was done I prepped more bottles for the evening and took the bottles and the kittens upstairs into the guest room. They were fast asleep so I walked into mine and Jake’s room, grabbed some clothes and quickly showered. I dried off and changed before going back to the guest room. It was only five in the afternoon at this point, so I opted to grab a book I left in here. I feel like I should be doing homework, but I guess it doesn’t matter now. I settled onto the bed with a blanket and leaned against the stack of pillows, trying to get comfortable. 

I fed the kittens a few more times and went downstairs to make myself some dinner. The awkwardness was palpable as Jake still sat on the couch, beer in hand. I wanted to ask him if he wanted me to make him dinner too but I'm pretty sure he doesn’t want to talk to me right now. So I made my dinner and ate it before retreating upstairs to feed the kittens one last time before bed. Once that was done I crawled under the covers, pulling the blankets up to my chin. I stared at the wall, everything that happened recently flowing through my mind, not stopping long enough for me to think of something else. 

“I almost just stopped taking care of you all together”

This single thought sent me into sobs and I was gasping for air to catch my breath. Did my parents really hate me simply for being born? I found it hard to accept that. Even for my parents that was hard to believe. I had to have done something to make them hate me. I’m not sure how long I cried for but I finally drifted off only to be awoken later by a hand on my shoulder. “Katie?” My eyes flew open and I gasped as my eyes adjusted. “Jake?” I sat up a little and he gave me a small smile. “Everything okay?” He sighed, his eyes meeting mine. He was only in his boxers and his hair was a wreck. “I’ve been trying to sleep for four hours and I can’t.” I pursed my lips, not sure what to say. “I’m sorry. Have you tried reading? I know it’s made you sleepy before.” He shook his head, looking at me. “No. I can’t sleep because it doesn't feel right without you in the bed.” I sighed. “Oh.” He nodded. “Just… come back to bed.” I met his eyes and his own were half closed. “Jake, I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “If anything it’s my fault.” “No, it’s not.” I told him. “But it is. I should’ve found a different way to separate you from your parents.” I huffed. “Jake, there was no other way. Any longer and who knows where I’d be and with who.” I said as I dangled my legs off the bed, sitting next to him. “No. I should’ve come up with something else. It is my fault.” I just huffed and fell back on the bed, putting my legs back under the covers. “What are you doing?” He asked. “I’m not arguing with you Jake. I’m not doing the back and forth and the taking blame bullshit. If anything it makes me feel worse so just stop.” I fully expected him to get mad and walk out but instead he laid down next to me, tossing his arm over my waist. “I love you.” He muttered. I sat there in silence for a while before I spoke up. “I love you too.” It didn’t take long at all for me to go back to sleep after that. 

The next few days were weird. We didn’t know what to do with ourselves except take care of the kittens and search for lawyers. Jake was still trying to apologize and it was driving me crazy. He had nothing to apologize for and I have no idea how else to tell him that. “Any of these stand out to you?” Jake asked as he slid his list in front of me. Being in law school for as long as I was, you learn a thing or two about local lawyers. “No… am I being too picky?” I asked and he shrugged. “I don’t think so, but I’ve also never had to search for one.” I nodded and we sat in silence for a while. We continued to look the rest of the day when there was a knock at the door. I immediately jumped up, beating Jake to the door and swinging it open. “Mav.” I smiled at him. “Katie. Hi.” He smiled back. “I wanted to talk to you and Jake.” I nodded and swung the door open so he could come in. “Want anything to drink?” I offered. “Water would be great.” I led him towards the dining room where Jake still was. “Mav! Good to see you!” Jake was excited to see someone from work, it was written all over his face. They both hugged before sitting at the table. I grabbed some waters and went back into the dining room. “So, I wanted to talk to you two about getting a lawyer.” I nodded. “We’ve been looking for the past few days but just can’t seem to pick one.” My face burned red at Jake’s words. “Well, that Cartwell guy seemed like he’d be good.” I spoke up. “You said you hated him because he gave a lecture in your class and he didn’t know what he was talking about.” My face burned even more. “I know a guy, he’s helped me multiple times.” 

He pulled a card out of his wallet and handed it to me. “He’s not that well known, but he does great work and I think he could really help you.” I looked it over, the name sounding familiar but it wasn’t ringing any bells. I handed it to Jake and he looked at it. “Michael Sterling.” Mav nodded. “Great guy, goes to great lengths to help his clients and he has experience dealing with navy court hearings.” My eyebrows popped up. “That could be a big help to us.” I said and he nodded in agreement. “Well we’ll call him and go see him as soon as he has an opening.” Jake said and I nodded. “You have an appointment tomorrow morning.” We both raised our brows at him. “I already called him and set you up with an appointment. Nine a.m.” I was a little stunned. “Th-thank you, Maverick. We really appreciate it.” He nodded. “What’s your game plan?” He asked. “Counter charges. I’m going after them for everything they did to me throughout my life. I have pictures and papers to prove a lot of stuff, then Jake is going to sue my dad and the Navy for wrongful discharge.” Mav sighed. “That’s going to be very difficult. But whatever you need, I’m happy to write a letter, give a statement, whatever you need and I know the rest of the team is too.” Jake nodded, his hand falling to my leg. “Well, guess we finally found our lawyer.” I nodded. “We’ll talk to him tomorrow and see how it goes. Hopefully we’ll get somewhere with it.”

The next morning Jake and I got ready. I went back to my dresses and heels and he put on a nice pair of jeans and a polo before Penny arrived. “Thank you so much for doing this for us, Penny.” I said as I let her in. “You’re welcome. How hard can it be?” I laughed at her question, leading her to the kitchen where Jake was making all the bottles. “Penny, hey.” Jake greeted. “Hey, Hangman. Look at you being all domestic.” He chuckled. “Never thought I would enjoy it so much.” They both laughed. “Uh, the kittens ate about an hour ago so they’re all asleep in their pen in the living room. When they wake up they’ll probably be hungry but if they don’t eat that’s fine, just try again later. Help yourself to anything in the fridge, there’s still some coffee and it’s hot. Just, make yourself at home I guess.” She nodded. “They’re in good hands, Katie.” I smiled at her. “Now go, before you guys are late. We need to get this show on the road if we’re going to beat you parents in court.” She ushered us out of the kitchen and I turned back to look at her. She winked at me before shooing us out. “Got everything you need?” I snatched the manilla envelope off the dining room table full of papers and pictures as well as my purse. “Yep, let’s go.” Jake helped me into the truck before getting in himself. I took a few deep breaths as he backed out of the driveway and as soon as he put it in drive he took my hand, fingers intertwining on the console.

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay.” He kissed my hand before we rode in silence. My heart was thumping out of my chest and it felt like it got worse the closer we got. As we pulled into the parking lot in downtown San Diego I felt my stomach twist. I couldn’t tell if I was gonna be sick or not. “Darlin’?” Jake asked as he put the truck in park. I held up my finger as I opened the door to let in the warm air, a soft breeze brushing over me. “Are you okay?” I nodded. “I couldn’t tell if I was gonna be sick or not.” His eyebrows raised as I pulled down the mirror to check my makeup. Once I saw it was fine I closed it and took another deep breath. “Let’s do this.” I jumped out and Jake scrambled to catch up with me. I didn’t stop, knowing if I did I would never walk in there. Jake rushed ahead, getting the door for me and I walked on through up to the front desk. “Hi, we have an appointment with Mr. Sterling at nine.” She nodded. “And what’s the last name?” I froze, realizing Mav never told us what name he put it under. “It’ll either be under Blair or Seresin.” She raised a brow but looked it up. “Oh, Miss Blair. Mr. Sterling asked that I bring you back as soon as you get here.” I was a little surprised as she stood. “Oh, thank you.” I looked as Jake and he shrugged but we followed her down a few hallways before she stopped in front of an open door. “Mr. Sterling?” She asked as she poked her head in the door. “Send them in, Carla. Thank you for bringing them back.” She nodded. “You’re welcome,” She turned to us with a smile. “You can go in.” I smiled and nodded, steeling my nerves before I walked in the door. 

A tall dark haired man stood next to his desk, setting a paper down before he lifted his head. “Miss Blair.” He came over, taking my hand gently as he shook it and I gave his a firm squeeze which he smiled at. “Mr. Seresin.” Jake nodded at him. “Please, take a seat. I suspect we’ll be conversing for a while.” I sat in the chair on the right and Jake on the left while Mr. Sterling sat in his desk chair. “When Pete called me I was surprised when he told me he was calling to get help for someone else. Usually when he calls me, it’s never good.” I cracked a small smile at his remark. “Maverick does have quite the reputation.” Jake said and Mr. Sterling nodded. “That he does. So Pete told me a little about what’s going on and I have a few notes but i’d really love to hear it from you two.” I raised my brows. “Short or long version?” I asked and he chuckled. “We can do a summary for now and deep dive as we need. But if there is any important information please don’t skip it.” I nodded, still clutching the manilla envelope to my chest. “Well, I guess I’ll start before we moved to San Diego.” He nodded and I took a deep breath. “Katie, don’t feel like you have to rush anything. Just go at your own pace.” I nodded at Mr. Sterling’s words and set the envelope on the desk. 

“My parents weren’t the most loving. They were cold and distant and I thought that’s how all parents were. We moved around so frequently I never really got to see how other kids' parents treated them. I thought that’s how all parents were. My parents really limited my contact with people and they controlled basically everything I watched and listened to. There were no tv’s or radios in the house and I didn’t even get a cell phone until I was eighteen.” I opened the envelope, pulling out the stack of pictures. “This was the first time my mom hit me. I took the picture on my phone and hid it in backup storage because I knew if she saw it, she’d delete it.” My face was red in the picture and there was a cut from her ring. He took it, his face falling at the picture. “I didn’t know what I did wrong. Now I know it was nothing. I was eighteen and they had no control over me anymore, but I didn’t know that. So they started getting physical as a way to keep me in line and in their grasp. This happened various times throughout the last seven years.” I pulled out a few other photos before I continued. “But it all escalated when I met Jake.” I could hear Jake sigh from next to me and I knew he was getting angry. “My parents care more about their image and reputation than anything, even me. A lieutenant asked me on a date and my father said yes for me. The date sucked and as he was taking me home he stopped just down the road from my house. He decided he wanted more from me than I was willing to give and when he tried to get my dress off me I kneed him in the crotch and punched him in the nose, breaking it.” Mr. Sterling and Jake both huffed. “As you should.” Mr. Sterling said, jotting down some notes. “I managed to get out of the truck and run towards my house and he cut me off. I managed to draw attention by screaming and our neighbor came out but my parents brushed it all off. My parents were mad I didn’t just let him do it and risked ruining their precious image.” Mr. Sterling just sat there speechless until I pulled out the photos I took. “I took these right after it happened.” He just sat there dumbfounded as I went on. 

“Jake and I didn’t get along at first and my dad decided to humiliate me in front of him by making me apologize to another pilot when he was in the wrong. Around that time was when my parents started hitting me more often.” I took a deep breath. “My dad smacked me in his office multiple times. It usually threw me to the floor. He’s thrown me on the ground, hit me with his belt. But I think the worst was the night before I left with Jake for the first time.” I gave Jake the smallest smile and he grabbed my hand, squeezing it. “You ran more than once?” I nodded. “Twice. The first time I left was because my dad was angry I wasn’t studying. He called me lazy and stupid and started wrecking everything in my room then told me I’d be nothing without them and I snapped. I told him I didn’t need them.” I took a deep breath, pushing my glasses further up the bridge of my nose. “Then he yanked my glasses off my face, smashed them with a textbook, threw me into a table and smashed my fish tank, killing all of them.” Mr. Sterling’s eyes widened in shock. “I felt numb. I didn’t sleep that night because I was terrified. The next day Jake talked me into leaving with him and it was probably the best thing I could’ve done.” He nodded. “So how did you run a second time if you had already left?” He asked. “I got scared. My dad is Jake’s superior. I was worried he’d lose everything he worked for, and seems I had every reason to worry.” Jake sighed. “I told you not to.” I huffed out a laugh. “Anyway, I left in the middle of the night and walked all the way back to my parents house. They were still up and when I walked in, they acted like they cared, like they were so worried. I should’ve known it was all a lie but I wanted so badly for them to care. But I was woken up the next morning to hear my dad drilling a chain on my door.” 

Mr. Sterling nodded. “And how long were you there for?” I took a deep breath, trying to think. “A few weeks at least.” I said and Jake nodded. “Two weeks. We went over to her parents a few days after she left because we hadn’t heard from her and they said she was sick, which we knew was a lie.” Mr. Sterling eyebrows raised. “You and who?” He asked. “A few coworkers and friends of mine. Natasha Trace and Bradley Bradshaw.” He nodded. “I think my parents were trying to sell me off or marry me off.” Mr. Sterling once again stopped writing. “You’re sure?” I nodded. “They kept talking about someone coming over and I had to be perfect and they didn’t care what these people did to me once I was out of their house. Mom had me get dressed in a white dress and everything.” He stared at me dumbfounded. “Jake and our friends showed up, kicked in the door and helped me run. I’ve been with Jake ever since. I started therapy, started nursing school and it all went down the drain when I went to the doctor. That was my breaking point.” “What was it, Katie?” He asked. “I had the flu, went for a normal doctor's appointment. She asked what I was doing for my ADHD and depression. I was confused and she printed off my diagnosis for me.” I laid those papers on his desk. “I was never told about this. My parents kept it a secret. I confronted my mother as soon as I found out and we got into it. She admitted she knew but she just believed I was just a shitty kid and didn’t have anything wrong with me. She admitted she never wanted me and considered just not taking care of me as a baby. Even said she hoped to live long enough to see me dead and buried.” 

Mr. Sterling’s mouth gaped open, closing and opening again, as if he was searching for words. “We got into it and I hit her, that’s how we got here. She pressed charges on me and I was made to leave nursing school, and Jake was wrongfully dishonorably discharged. But I want to counter charge them both. After everything that has happened I want them both to pay for everything.” He nodded, gathering everything I laid on his desk. “Mind if I make copies?” I shook my head, “Not at all.” He nodded, pressing a button on his phone. “I think we have a very solid case here. I think we could win it, honestly.” Now it was my turn to be surprised. “Really?” He nodded. “I don’t want to get too boisterous but I think with everything we have, photos, witnesses, your diagnosis, I don’t think her charges will even stand.” I looked at Jake, the first genuine smile on my face in days. “If you’d like, I’d love to take your case and work with you two.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[bunnyboy-juice]

NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???

[icewindandboringhorror]

sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye

[vbs-kaitos-big-naturals]

hate the word problematic so much it used to be so fun like oh yeah this guy just being killed in this gas explosion is pretty problematic to our great plan but now i cant say it without getting flashbacks to awful twitter threads calling out some famous charity worker who marches for the rights of many for saying the word faggot in a non offensive manner in 1995 when they were 12 years old. please just say its wrong or it upsets you and move on with your life youre associating a perfectly good word with something so petty and hateful it disgusts me

[kenobihater]

23 is young and i don't wanna go acting like it isn't but sometimes i see stuff from baby zoomers and i feel fucking ancient. skibidi toilet? i have yet to understand what that's referencing. reality shifting? i was into new agey stuff as a teen and i get the whole law of attraction/manifestation thing, but the rest is all greek to me. a good half of the aesthetics i see talked about online? literally got overwhelmed when i stumbled on the aesthetics wiki last year and i feel like an idiot seeing all these kids list off like 4 different hyperspecific aesthetics to describe themselves 😭 girl what does any of that mean? patiently explain it like i'm 85 when it comes up, or don't expect me to know what the hell you're talking about. i'll just end up smiling and nodding like your out of touch grandpa who loves your energy but is frightened by cellphones and the concept of smartfridges 💀💀💀

[coridallasmultipass]

brocal for the ship bingo?

The OTP to end all other OTPs... (Man. This wound up being basically Cori's Masterpost of BroCal. AKA... this got long and has some images, since I realized I can post my own art directly instead of just a text link to it lol.)

Wasn't actually expecting this to wind up with a bingo? But I got basically 2?? (Will explain the lighter heart later.) This is A LONG post, and definitely gonna get SUGGESTIVE, bc man, am I obSESSED with BroCal. I'm just gonna go thru each checked box, since I don't know how else to structure this post lol.

Read More to save ppl's dashboards:

I want them to make out with blood: OKAY. I HAVE A WHOLE THING PLANNED FOR THIS CONCEPT. I AM NOT GOING TO GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT IT JUST YET BC I ACTUALLY WANNA WRITE IT. I'm obsessed with this one fanart of Bro licking Lil Cal, and it spurred on an idea I outlined and really wanna write: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/739969858334294016/hiiii-mutual-i-am-secrecy-asking-if-u-have-anymore

((Sorry for the plain text links, Tumblr app is NOT cooperating with me right now to add hyperlinks. I'd post the image directly if that one was mine.))

Basically, I just really need to see Bro and Cal making out with blood in their mouths, and I started a whole convoluted, unrelated outline in order to make that hapen. It'll probably just be a really short thing that ends at the uh climax, since otherwise it's gonna end up sadstuck. And I don't like sadstuck lol.

Undeniably t4t: Bro and Dirk are always trans for me, and Lil Cal's got that uh... what percentage did I calculate it out to be? 13% of Dirk is in Lil Cal [ My shitpost calculations: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/746702663327072256/i-ran-out-of-tags-rambling-about-this-so-im-just ] so Lil Cal is at least 13% trans because of that much of Dirk being in him, plus however you feel about the other components being trans. LMAO this is ridiculous to type out. Moving on.

EDIT: FUTURE CORI INTERJECTING WITH A:

"Lil Cal Top Surgery Healing Progess: Day 1"

Terrible for each other affectionate/derogatory: I don't even know where the affectionate/derogatory split occurs. I multiship BroCal as both Bro/normal puppet Lil Cal and as Bro/evil juju puppet Lil Cal, and whatever combination in between or outside of that. Terrible in that Bro is so obsessed with Cal that he doesn't have normal relationship/social skills and uses Lil Cal as both a crutch and motivator alternately, in a terrible cycle, or maybe rather... spiral. And also terrible in that Bro is caught in the allure of playing the role of puppeteer while also being a puppet for the darker parts of Lil Cal, whether he actively knows it or not. (Honestly though, I feel like it's dismissive if you try to blame all of Bro's faults on Lil Cal like this tho, which is why I tend towards liking Lil Cal as just a regular puppet a lil bit more. Or at least, a regular mildly supernatural puppet since that can be a little more entertaining if Cal can get into mischief while no one's looking or give off the vibes of his mood more directly, rather than like entirely inanimate or 'just LE, trapped in a puppet body.' Again, I like all of these concepts.) ((I mean that can also be a whole post of its own, like, by the time Bro gets ahold of Lil Cal, are any of the other components still alive in there? Like, are ARquius and Gamzee still in there or did Caliborn kill and consume them entirely? Idk how it works, man. This is why I like Lil Cal as his own person, maybe just influenced by the feelings of the others. LaCroix: CalGamARquius essenced water. Lil Croix.))

They need to get weirder with it: YES YES. 1000% YES. I need entirely shameless Bro doing entirely shamless things to Lil Cal. I want them inseparable and doing unspeakable things to each other. I want Bro taking full advantage of Cal having a puppet body and all the intimacy that comes with making repairs and being elbow-deep in stuffing.

Playing with them like dolls cute/psychological torture: This is the same divide as with the 'terrible for each other' point, so I'm just gonna go with the cute one, since the torture one is self-explanatory. I want them fucking married. Like. Full mushy cute romance type of relationship that Bro has never felt for any of the people in his life (cough aromantic cough). I made this comic not too long ago, and I often fondly look back on it, because I adore the concept of Bro being lovey and romantic and everything out of character around Lil Cal because he feels safe and loved and comfortable around Cal:

[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/750602227910131712/brocal-4-lyfe-so-i-had-this-idea-of-dave-being ]

I made a post a long, long time ago (not gonna link that one bc it was personal and I was being very obviously mentally ill ["C'mon, like you're not being obviously mentally ill while typing paragraph upon paragraph about BroCal still in 2024 like 10 years later??" Fair.]) But the gist of it was that, like, having objectophilia or objectum sexuality is like, from an outsider pov, it's a way to express love to yourself. You filter all your self-hate through the object you love, and you get back unconditional love in return.

Lil Cal is never gonna hate Bro, no matter what Bro does. As a regular puppet, Lil Cal doesn't have the capacity for hate. And so that only brings them closer, since Cal is never gonna reject Bro for any reason. (Back to being a crutch. RSD is real, and Dave is probably a big trigger for that since he's not on the same wavelength of weird as Bro [not blaming Dave, obviously, this is a post about BroCal].) Bro can experience receiving positive attention from Lil Cal, without feeling 'fake' or uncool by expressing that same attention or affection directly to his own self. (Things are always done through multiple layers with the Striders, aren't they?) ((And I'm not saying Lil Cal doesn't love Bro, or that their relationship is just pretend - it's real, I'm just like, 'What's going on behind the curtain in the mundane situation?/ How is the relationship appealing?' Lil Cal luvs Bro 5eva 4 lyfe and that's a hard fact. Could cut diamonds with that shit.)) Example: maybe Bro is dealing with a bout of body/gender dysphoria and is trying to take out his frustration with working out, and it's not helping, even if he's powered through a set better than normal. Then, he notices the way Lil Cal is watching him, and he can feel the excitement seeping off Cal. He can sense the echoes of a wolf-whistle ring out through his mind, and it's like. Okay, none of that shit from before matters, he's got all the validation he needs right there in Lil Cal. Maybe flex in Cal's direction, Bro?

Oh, so back to being cute: isn't it wonderful how the template maker phrased it as 'playing dolls'? But yeah, I want all the mush and everything. Bro has a whole wardrobe for Lil Cal for every minor event that occurs in the Strider household. I want them going on genuine dates. Maybe even... holding hands. Bro blushes for the first time since he was 16. He even gets to take Lil Cal with him when he goes out to DJ or put on a show. Not to mention the whole website business. (I've talked about Cal's role in that before, but I'll mention it in a moment...)

They will die in a heart shaped pool of blood: I mean, kinda did happen, even tho Lil Cal didn't perma die right there. I don't think this one needs any explanation, since it basically happens in canon.

'You should see the other guy...': Okay, so. About 11 years ago, I had a really great idea. About how smuppets enter this world. I expanded on it in the following more-recent post (adult only content lol): https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/741683686717669376/back-in-the-day-my-friends-called-me-insane-when-i

To sum it up, whenever Bro makes a new smuppet design, he then gives it a video debut on his website, where uh, Lil Cal births the smuppet like it's a horror movie scene, fake blood and poly-fil gore all over the place as the smuppet crawls out from the viscera. Bro then gets to play aftercare by lovingly and gently cleaning up and restuffing Lil Cal as they get to admire their new creation and rake in the dough lol.

So it's technically not a 'you should see the other guy' kinda situation, but it does involve one of them being... idk what word would describe it. Injured by the other? Usually a character loses a fight and says this to act like they got out of it better than the other guy, but... We could have someone knock on the door during the filming of a scene like that, and Bro has to answer it with fake blood up to his elbows, and be like 'You should see the other guy.' (But obviously, that's a terrible idea and would cause more trouble than it's worth... Maybe worth it for a persistent door to door salesperson, though.)

Though, I guess I should also say, I'm not opposed to Bro beating on Lil Cal in or out of the bedroom. Or in the case of animate Lil Cal, Cal choking out Bro. In or out of the bedroom, lol. Depends on the situation, like I said I will ship this ship any which way. But my preference for animate Lil Cal is to be like a totally normal puppet around Bro (or mushy in-love with Bro) and then evil-murder-puppet towards anyone else in Bro's life, like a... toxic yaoi guard puppet. (New Phrase Achievement Unlocked!) Bro brings home another guy to have sex, who tries to stay the night due to the late hour, but the guy wakes up shortly after to see Lil Cal standing there with a knife in the dark, eyes glowing red. Panic ensues when the guest screams and freaks out, and by the time Bro's got a light on, grabbing his sword, ready for a ninja vs ninja fight (bc an intruder would've had to bypass all the traps), Lil Cal is just innocently splayed across the desk chair, no knife in sight. Relevant post (well, the caption on the post too, saying how Bro can't seem to hold onto any relationships besides Lil Cal):

[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/741830516962164736/i-want-you-so-youre-mine-always-selfishly ]

Uh, lol, also Cal choking out Bro in the bedroom, adult only drawing: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/754328907438800896/i-wouldnt-wanna-be-my-ex-when-he-found-out-who

Thinking about them always and forever: Listen. My Tumblr as proof, I've had BroCal on the brain for at least 11 years at this point. Definitely longer, since I first started reading Homestuck. I fucking love puppets and dolls and plushies and I always have. Man, if I hadn't deleted Tweets (automated app I used to do, and I couldn't choose what to save) from when I was in high school, you could've seen me @ ing my fave band when they were taking lyric suggestions on a fan-inspired album, where I was telling them 'make a song where the theme is puppets' and, while I don't know if they saw that or took the suggestion (they had responded to me before bc they weren't huge yet), there is indeed a song titled "Puppets" on that album, and it was my favourite song on there. Point is, I was fated to ship BroCal before I even knew it existed.

Sicko 2 sicko communication: I mean, does this even need explaining? Bro and Cal aren't just on the same wavelength of freaky, they're the fucking source of the wavelength, and it's causing a feedback loop between them. And it does as feedback does, which is, it amplifies with time. (Going back to the spiral symbolism here, lol.) ((Actually, time can play a symbol here, too, I guess, but idk how to word it, I'm starting to run out of steam.))

Let them have a happy ending: God, I need this so badly. I know Bro's story ends in Homestuck, but like. Pls. Someone needs to officiate their wedding. Currently placing the dreambubble order, but I can't organize a wedding by myself. OH speaking of. In that lil comic I did above, where Bro is accepting Lil Cal's proposal, I had the Natural Born Killers wedding scene in mind. I was gonna draw that as a follow up, but I think I have too many WIPs going. Just two people on the run, saying "I do" in a scenic but completely ordinary roadside location. Idk why, I keep going back to that movie for things related to Bro (I mention it in a very important scene in a longer WIP I've been writing, as something Bro watched and internalized as a kid lol.) It's not the best movie lol. Anyway.

The devotion omg: I feel like I have already gotten my point across about this, but let me reiterate:

[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/735842968450269184/in-the-name-of-iconic-magical-girl-anime-ill ]

Bro and Lil Cal absolutely beat the shit outta Jack Noir before he gets prototyped. And even then, they fight together till the death, like. C'mon. Nothing more romantic than fighting a losing battle side by side. Also, like, Lil Cal having his own protective chest for safekeeping as seen in the Strider living room? Like, you don't just have a protective case for any old thing, especially something meant to be handled, especially something that is regularly used to smack other things/humans. What I'm saying is, Lil Cal is durable and resilient, and yet, Bro still has a case for transporting Cal safely. Oh, wait, I just thought of something funny, what if Lil Cal goes feral like a cat, and basically the chest is like a cat carrier so Bro can drive without being constricted lmaoooo, I've been typing for hours can you tell?

Kind of homophobic: Listen. I HAD a Cal. Took him to college. Staked my claim on the top bunk bc I am royalty. Proceeded to not have anywhere to set my water cup and had to use a cardboard box as a table up there. Spilled water. Melted Cal's sharpie-drawn face. And then proceeded to cry. I have a WIP of Lil Cal 2, but that requires actually remembering to work on him. I wanna do better by the pattern, too, since I rushed to finish the first. I have all the material! I have the project started! So it's just a matter of reordering my WIP priorities, honestly.

Where is all the fucking content?!: For realzz. I was actually venting about this the other day (didn't end up posting it), but it's like, either there's no BroCal content, or there IS BroCal content, but I can't reblog it for reasons I don't want to get into on this post. I'm dying of thirst in the ocean, basically. Whatever. This just means I need to make more BroCal content myself, which I am more than happy to do. I've just had a rough past few months, so I'm glad I got to type all this post out, and hopefully I can get back to creating soon.

Last one! I hope this one makes up for the absurd length of the post, it's prob my new fave idea I just came up with on the spot.

[TW drink spiking by a stranger mentioned in this.]

Committing atrocities as their silly little activities: I think we all know what this means, but I am going to ignore that elephant with my special x-ray vision. Because this is a BroCal post. I'm digging deep to the meat and bones of this. Honestly, this could go multiple routes, it depends on how you take your Lil Cal.

One could place emphasis on the 'guard' part of the, ahem ahem, toxic yaoi guard puppet. Maybe someone is actually trying to harm Bro, and Bro legit can't do anything for reasons outside of his control - let's say his drink got spiked a while after he invited a stranger home that he thought was chill. As Bro gets shoved down on the futon, his memory of the night is only a few flickers. Familiar orange plush, roiling around above him like a dancing windsock. Flashes of Lil Cal's face all distorted and stretched wide like a funhouse. J-Lo and Ice Cube on the TV. But when Bro is finally able to fully wake up in the morning, everything is as if he just got home alone last night and passed out on the futon. Cal looks totally normal and content tucked under Bro's warm arm. Except when Bro gets up, there is a pair of shoes too big to belong to him at the door. Maybe Bro knows. Maybe instinct tells him to run. Maybe he does, but he's running towards Lil Cal, every time.

[scrawlingskribbles]

not me blearily waking up at 5:30am almost in tears bc I had a dream that Ian had apparently been making more little OK KO shorts on the side and the utter joy I was feeling as dream!me was scrambling to find & watch them only to wake up before I could........ :((((

[josecariohca]

.

[holocene-sims]

a sneak peek for an upcoming (timeline tbd) update 😊

[hella1975]

why do you write? what do you think about, what drives you?

passion love grief rage spite confusion loneliness community shame boredom perfectionism fun because i dont know how to stop

[endlessfuckup]

saw your post about no longer wanting to be a phan blog and i just wanted to say i get you especially the reaction to this tour has been very uncomfortable and i could never figure out exactly why it felt... overbearing ig??? but it has been building and the tour leak and announcement just seemed to put a spotlight on people seem to have learned nothing from the previous years and seem to think that now that they're back it's okay to push their boundaries because they're engaging with us again. and tbh i appreciate you for helping put into words the discomfort ive been feeling and it sucks that it turned out like this that the enjoyment of the thing gets harder because of others

I was so so hoping it wouldn't get like this again

The first 5-6 months of the gaming channel being back were mostly wonderful

Everyone was behaving and respectfully enjoying dnp being back as a duo

I've seen/felt it building up over the past few months but I kept ignoring it because I figured it was just newer phans who didn't know about any of "the lore"

But every time I'd check their page out it would almost always be someone in their mid-late 20s who has been around for 10+ years

I was dumbfounded

I genuinely cannot believe people still treat Dan and Phil like tv characters who exist purely for entertaining the masses

Its really sad