#am i even being coherent here
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''i hope jakey dies'' includes every intolerable identical looking fictional eboy x reader btw. you know the type. he looks like this:
#back me up here hatergirls.#am i even being coherent here#it makes perfect sense to me#and i think L from death note would understand.#i like to wish violemce on these fictional men.#but real men also just so were clear. like presidents and the wifebeater guy#i forgot his name#also everyone in congress even the ones who arent men i still dont like them. OK#they should give ME the death note!#mutuals if you do not like this please overlook it. do we not all appreciate the beautiful diversity of minds which like a repeatedly gener#ating pattern brings both beauty and disturbment?
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Ok i think im really sick of this so i'll say it - it is very obvious how much of a higher standard people here hold max up to compared with the rest of the cast and im really sick of people pretending they don't do this.
You are not smart for saying constantly "oh max is an asshole" and not providing any other further explanation for that same statement. You all will ignore the times that other, worse written characters have been rude in the show in favour of reiterating the same point over and over and over and over and im really sick of pretending otherwise. Like no shit max is an asshole id be a dickhead too if my entire worldview was based on the fact that my parents are too busy to give a fuck and i have only myself to rely on in this world.
And if i said this is also heavily because of the fact that max is an indian child and a lot of people have issues with seeing children as people by themselves along with how poc are adultified socially id be the bad guy. I'll likely elaborate on this more in a later post but I simply have so many issues with how this fanbase treats max and im really sick of this
#camp camp#camp camp discourse#camp camp max#max camp camp#its so tiring as an indian poc#like wow people will straight up jusr say shit#even the writers do this and like ok i am not expecting that much from essentially south park reddit humor show writers#but come on#sorry this is more of a rant than a deeper coherent analysis but god isnt it lovely being constantly reminded in a fanbase that#if you act even slightly mean as a person of color you are immediately demonised for it? isnt it great? isnt it gr#i think max has it ten times worse because he's a young child and children are once again- never seen as people. abuse against children#isnt even seen as abuse here by CERTAIN people i will not name#but yeah#please find intelligent discourse outside of 'max is an asshole' and id fw your analysis#because quite frankly im tired
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finished dhes & kel's character pages so here are the lil edits i made for both of em :-)
#myedits#kelly#dhestyn#ik i posted kel’s already but now i am posting both pictures together#i have read through the bios so many times atp that i don't even know if they make sense anymore#i cannot look at them again#i'm just gonna say they're good enough#i might change some stuff here & there but for now#i am over it lol#i'll probably do the rest of the characters eventually..........#maybe...........#but idk. i only really post the boys here so like. yea. yk.#plus i still have the mbz character page to do#which. that has like. so many characters on it. it's a daunting task#i hope the boys' pages are at least somewhat coherent. i tried to be concise & to the point. uh. idk if i was successful in that#but. n e way. i have a few edits & writing things i wanna work on so. character pages are moving to the back burner#i may or may not finally start writing the 90sAU#which btw ty guys for being so nice on that edit???? the comments & tags were all so sweet?????#i really liked that one so i'm glad y'all liked it too
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Some. Sort of spectrum. From most likely to least likely.
And by kitten-pile I mean This
I'll put a transcript under cut for easier reading! 🫡
How Likely Are They to Kitten Pile?
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Mirabilis: "are you tired..? do you need a break...? ohh we could take one together..."
If she likes/trusts you even a little, she wants to cuddle about it!!!
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Sharena and Peony: "Okay! 💖 Yay! 💖"
Shari: The only thing stopping her is social conventions -- making her MORE likely to jump at the opportunity!
Peony: Learning social awareness as she goes, and is surprisingly good at it?
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Triandra: "Aren't we a bit old for that...? But... even so..."
Embarrassed, conflicted, but feels strangely nostalgic at the notion...
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Plumeria: "I'm not so petal-soft that I'd resort to such INDECENCY, I mean even if your intentions are Pure USE YOUR HEADS YOU FOOLS!! Girl, the IMPLICATIONS!!!"
Desperately wants to join the kitten-pile, but her Issues and Pride gets in the way.
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Moe: "aw, so cutes!"
Generally touch adverse, extremely picky even with the people it likes/loves -- everything is entirely on its terms.
#fire emblem#feh#STILL. DRAFTING. IT FEELS LIKE. concetualizing. ect.#but this vision was So Strong. and is honestly Such a way to parse each out.#like... mira craves warmth and comfort... i think she esp likes cuddling w peony bc it feels like a mother's touch#esp the discrepancy in body types i'm going w here. i really wanna draw them together actually...#meanwhile LONG. LONG STANDING HC. about sharena being v physically affectionate even touch starved#and having to learn boundaries the hard way. i also think a huge difference between her and peony actually#is that peony always had someone to cuddle with (mira!!). so peony never had to 'outgrow' it the way shari had to#which may have led to peony being a little more adjusted actually??? i also am v much playing w the idea#that peony is like min maxed. she's surprisingly socially aware/emotionally intelligent#BUT. she still has huge blind spots due to her seclusion and mostly only interacting w kid mortals (in the dream realm)#and i esp think she fails to see the complexity in situations. ect ect#triandra. boy do i have lore about triandra. but you can take a guess. i'll leave that up to you.#AND PLUMERIA. OH MY GOD PLUMERIA. i can just TELL she's going to be an EXTREMELY FUN chara to write#she basically writes herself. looking deeper beyond the obvious sex repulsion/intimacy issues#she's a stubborn jaded 'too cool for this' older sister. who is WAY more protective than she will Ever Admit.#LIKE... I AM THINKING ESP HOW SHE TREATED MIRA IN THAT TT SIDE STORY.#the way she was looking out for her. tri is absolutely plum's most trusted confidant and therefore#the person she's most vulnerable with. but even then. she's still protective of mira and i bet even peony if she had trouble#(granting. they're on the same side). AUGH AND ALSO THE WAY PLUM IS STUCK IN HER WAYS TOO....#I DON'T HAVE COHERENT THOUGHTS. but the way plumeria Is just resonates so deeply w me...#mirabilis#sharena#fe peony#fe triandra#fe plumeria#moe tag#summoner oc#my art
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I am kissing u all on the forehead
#i have an internal desire 2 chat but unfortunately my internal desire 2 not put effort into anything is winning#no chats no vibes i am lying here staring into space#watching something is 2 much work socializing makes me exhausted this has been a rough week#its very easy for me 2 make little jokey jokes but multiple days in a row of missing breaks or taking them late#and being overworked bc my department depends on me has been#its been difficult#and mentally i am just. im so exhausted#also w rooster teeth closing even tho i havent been big in the fandom for a while its just kinda heavy#i also. i am feeling. i dont know if tumblr rp is all that it used to be for me#i adore the muses i adore the writing i adore my partners#theres just. theres something somewhere being a road block i just dont know what#i dont know if its just life being a lot so im struggling to keep up or if it's just like. im outgrowing it or its outgrowing me#i fell in love w rping bc of the community but i fear these days its. it doesnt Feel like a community anymore#some people do and are trying and it means the world but there is an overwhelming loneliness on this site these days#idk if thats just me or what#and i understand the harsh circle of not being here means no attention means not being here#but just. idk. idk what i am trying to say idk what the vibes r this post like my life is a mess w no coherent outcomes
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Me, reading before bed: I don't think I know how to recognize what it feels like "put my heart into" things because I struggle to recognize most positive emotions since I dissociate so much by default and kind of just passively exist in life. Passivity is my default state and it blocks me from experiencing and feeling things.
Loki, fully aware of the dissociative disorder and trauma this all stems from because we've had this conversation before: Yup. Let's maybe hold onto the realization this time, shall we?
#screaming into the void#he really is so patient with me but also definitely isnt going take any of my 'i dont like being present its new and scary' and#'i dont know if i actually would even be anle to recognize what it feels like to not live passively and actually be present#so is it even worth it to try?'#reasonings behind why i struggle with with this concept#and truly i dont fully understand what people mean when they talk about being present i am just along for the ride my man#it is hard to want to love actively in my own life i dont like it its not comfy it fills me with anxiety and i have that with being passive#so why bother you know?#but apparently living activily does have its benefits and perks#so we work on that#even if it scares me so much i kinda wanna hurl my guts up#i do suspect this is part of why loki is pushing me toward witchy things#because it both piques my curiosity and interest and also kind of forces me to be present#so like kudos to him for weaponizing my autism against me#i feel like this isnt very coherent but all that to say im being gently bullied over here
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there is literally nothing cooking youtubers like more than not being clear about ingredient amounts
#cole talks#sometimes i hop onto like. cooking youtube i guess. and ughhh this drives me nuts#to be honest it is mostly for entertainment and ideas rather than ‘i am going to make this exactly’ but like. still.#‘add milk’ HOW MUCH#CAN WE GET SOME SUBTITLES IN HERE#or even just like. a coherent ingredient list#just tell me what the fuck i’m doing/what i need and i’ll go from there#i know i’m describing a recipe page i KNOW#but those r deeply committed to burying the important information at the bottom of the page#they don’t like being clear about instructions either!
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Uncomfortable infection.
#I feel disgusting...#I really hate this.#I don't know how to describe how I feel but that I run out of the ''it is what it is'' mentality.#I am bothered that COVID has crippled my immune system.#I get opportunistic infections from my own body.#I just want it to stop. I don't like this.#Mentally I feel very 'reduced'.#Very mired in sadness that I can't even properly identify as sadness.#Slumping over and not moving is helping. I'm just staying still and experiencing it like a bystander.#I feel like I am just waiting something out. What else to do.#If it gets worse I will ask after antibiotics.#The muscles in my face hurt and I keep closing my eyes without meaning to.#Slept in a terrible amount today.#I don't know what coheres here.#Simply put... Wolfgang tired and hurting and insecure or shy.#Get the sense to apologise for complaining speech.#I am caught by the fear of being irritating.
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embracing the vampire autism i have going on apparently means combing through 500 vtm books and making notes on the lore and contradictions in the lore and potential implications and what was intended to be taken from some things vs things that actually make sense in context/with better research and sorting through what was included for mechanical gameplay vs worldbuilding reasons and combining all of this + the information intentionally left vague so i can form my own ideas into an amalgam of schrodingers canon with which to try to figure out what i personally tend to view as canon in-universe and then still figuring out how to insert the contradictory information/alternate interpretations in as like. character opinion/intentional misinformation/etc.
#The upside to this is i actually really like combing through a bunch of information and sorting through it. in theory.#Lowkey kind of house of leaves/arg feeling#the downside of this is i am being So Autistic about it and it is going to take So Long and also#my desire to be Accurate and the fact that this encompasses so many times and places#means that i am going to want to do So Much only tangentially related researchhelp#and there's already So Many vtm/dark ages books even without getting into the other world of darkness stuff#which at this rate i am probably going to want to get at least somewhat into#because it can canonically intersect with/affect vampire shit at times#mypost#'embracing the vampire autism' i say. as if i havent been visibly careening toward this particular collision for A While#it first i was like. no this isnt the autism. at least not any more than usual. i've always Liked this#this is.... a normal amount of liking something. sure.#.....fuck.#and the issue is. i have. other things to be doing. but here we are.#and instead im like. that unhinged conspiracy board meme from always sunny but with vtm lore#attempting to sort all of it out coherently and borderline comprehensively#which is. kind of fitting for people trying to but together all the different lore and conspiracies in-universe tbh#and kind of reminds me of when i first started researching the occult as a younger teenager#with the like. mountains of information and different loosely interrelated subjects to sift through with various degrees of sketchiness#nostalgic. anyway
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okay so we know that tech's helmet is made to go over his goggles , they don't catch on the rims or anything thus tech's helmet would have had to come off before his goggles did if they somehow managed to whilst he fell ??
i highly doubt tech has an seal on his helmet due to it needing to be open for his goggles thus perhaps is less secure ?? we even see his goggles being moved round & nearly dislodged when he is flying with omega so they aren't very tightly on his head.
yet hemlock said 'i'm afraid this is all that I could salvage' when talking with hunter about the smashed goggles ...
so with all that air support that imperial base has & the threat any clone from clone force 99 poses so they wouldn't just leave it an unknown if tech survived thus they would search for his body right ??? but hemlock couldn't locate tech's helmet , other armour , or even parts of it , let alone his body ????? only a shattered pair of goggles ...
which is entirely probably that hemlock just finds tech's goggles because when tech is falling , it looks as if he's flipping over which makes sense if he wants to face the ground so he can find a possible handhold / grapple hold to escape & it could be a reason why his helmet may slip off with all the air rushing by same with his goggles or because he's being whipped round as he falls ?
or say tech does catch himself hitting the ground , he leaves his goggles on the ground , breaking them in hopes that hemlock's arrogance would blind him to searching more ?? assuming that hemlock would think they flew off in the fall as well ??
or maybe tech sheds his armour sporadically to throw off his trail because he's now wearing stormtrooper armour to conceal himself ??? then when wrecker , hunter , & echo come to get omega & crosshair , they get some sudden help from a stormtrooper who is actually tech underneath !
#alternate theories to tech actually landing & being hurt & taken prisoner is what this post this#am i grasping ?? yes#am i even coherent anymore ? i am not sure#but if anyone can make sense of my rambles & wants to take off with them go ahead#i am here for all the conspiracy theories about this#send me to all the conspiracy theories where tech lives please#star wars#star wars the bad batch#the bad batch#swtbb#star wars the bad batch spoilers#the bad batch spoilers#swtbb spoilers#tbb spoilers#tech#tech tbb#tech the bad batch#bayze rambles#my post
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You ever wake up at a random time but its okay because your cat is there (and he loves you) and your roommates are just a few rooms over (and they also love you) and you have other friends out there (who love you) and you just sit there for a minute like... wow...thanks...<3
#: ) : ) : ) : )#ah has it been that long since i had one of those sappy moments#where im just really glad to be here#because man am i glad to be here#thank you past me for getting us through this far#thank you friends and family who have cared for me#thank you humanity for having the capacity for being good even if you also have the capacity to be awful#its 5:30 am bro im not really coherent#thank you all my pets who looked at me with sweet little eyes and who gave me something to care about even when it was hard to care at all#ough my beloved friends#ough my beloved family#ough my beloved pets#ough life can be nice
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I feel the need to acknowledge that hitchhiking holds a very special place in my heart completely regardless of whether or not it’s my favorite on the mcou albums. because it was the first song to play at swc5 and now every time i hear it i suddenly revert back to being 16 and feeling my soul leave my body in the 9th row of the shrine theatre in LA
#kibumblabs#what’s funny is that wasn’t even my first time seeing shinee live actually it was my 2nd. but the first time was at ktmf in I think 2016?#which was a music festival where there were a few artists not just shinee and they only did like three songs#which is very very different than a tour concert let alone one where I somehow managed to be in the fucking ninth row#honestly I think the most overwhelming difference in terms of what made swc5 instantly more impactful an experience was being in a concert#venue full of shawols. like. cheesy as it is. shawols are just. the best. and I remember just feeling like. I Am Home. I Belong Here#everyone was so nice it was just hdhshdhjdj ANYWAY im rambling now. point is hitchhiking very specifically brings me Back#I have a video from when that song started and you can hear me like#lose my fucking mind. like you can hear the very second all coherent thought Ends and I just. lose it#it’s funny and am glad I’m not a coward and don’t cringe at it or anything#16 year old me Needed that#god that was almost seven years ago I need to lay down
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my fav thing about ffxiv is that i’m like. this is my most devastatingly weary oc,, he is full of trauma and grief and the need for vengeance,,, and then i look at him and he’s just like
#the way i take him so seriously when he's just out here being adorable#i can't even post coherent thoughts about where i am in game rn#it's all a mess and i'm crying on the daily#oc: emile#ffxiv#oc: emile jenidaut
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...
#unprecedented emotions in this body o mine. like. this may b surprising given the amount of bitching i do on this website#but let me assure u irl i am exceptionally patient. but right now. there is a limit and that is where we now stand#and again this is prob my fault but ive come to the conclusion that fuck these custom chambers. fuck the amount of work that went into them#fuck all of this. im not fucking using them. i will sit here with this one fucking bryophite chamber if it takes me all goddam day bc at#least i fucking trust the values. that means ill have to split up measurements by 2 days but fuck u im right abt this#the solution is: u cant fucking do 98 samples at once. that it. im sorry. fuck u#and i would probably have come to this conclusion earlier if i had thr time to test but doing it all rught now with no fucking room for#grace makes it very fucking clear. so idk. im not fucking using the chambers. and im not looking forward to explaining this to my boss#bc shes so excited abt this project that i have been dreading since its conception. i started with the 3 chambers and it was somehow#even more awful than i would have imagined. fuck that. 2 or 3 fucking weeks of this#and im not even getting paid for all the extra work i do bc i don't get overtime. im not even technically allowed to work weekends or over#40hrs a week. im just doinf this bc im already so miserable why thr fuck not.#hhhhh im being such a brat abt this for real. ugh but i dont wanna meet with my boss#bc this feels like the time where i have to explain that like. listen. u know that thing im really good at and have spent fucking hour and#hours and hours and hours of time doing? well its catastrophically destructive to my brain and thats whats landed us here#where im so fucking fed up that i wanna quit. clean cut and never work with this stuff ever again#and if i have to use the 3 chambers i might die. i might just evaporate away into a million pieces bc i dont wanna deal with this#but i dont wanna explain that bc then shell feel bad and this isnt her fault. i have an issue thats out of my control and im letting it#devour me whole so like 🤷♂️ its my fault bleh#whatever. itll be fine. ive got a coherent argument as to why this is too much. and i kno im fucking right so there it is#i feel like that helps me make decisions: heres what has to happen. heres whats preventing that from happening#and there it is. it either u can fix it or u cant. thats it. u deal with the things in ur control#lol at least im not alone to stew in my anger. im working with 2 other ppl today. so i mean i say that im fucking furious bc im visual fine#lol bc im a patient and level headed person irl im just really whiney online bc i have no outlet. so itll b fine. decision made now we just#deal with it. ugh but how tf am i gonna distract myself from how miserable this is all day? thats the real question#brain gets Interrupted ever 5 min bleh agony#unrelated
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I was reading the reasoning behind why you chose Quinn as Catherine Parr for your Glee Presents: Six the Musical gifset and you said she has a brand of white feminism. Why do you think so? 🤔
Oh man that's kind of a big topic that definitely deserves more of an answer than I'm able to give right now, but if I save this ask for later I'll just end up never getting to it. So I hope you don't mind me giving a sort of half-answer with the potential of further elaboration in the future.
To be fair, in my mind I conflate Quinn's brand of pop feminism with more specifically white feminism a lot. But what I mean is that Six's well-intentioned but ultimately kind of flat message conveyed in Parr's song reminded me of how Quinn gets "woke" after getting pregnant. You know, the "boys objectify us all the time" and "women earn less than men" sort of thing. And to be clear, those are correct statements. The Glee guys objectify the girls all the time. The show does too, in fact. And women do statistically earn less for the same work. But these are the sort of "water is wet" generic statements that teen shows attempting some sort of feminism would say in 2010 without actually exploring patriarchal issues in any sort of depth.
The way I see it, Quinn became Glee's spokesperson for feminist phrases that often aimed to do one of two things. A) genuinely try to highlight an issue or B) poke fun at pop feminism and use the rich white girl who always ends up centering her life around men to do it. The problem with A), like in The Power of Madonna, is that Glee doesn't even get close to saying anything useful about issues it highlights and solves sexism with the boys singing What It Feels Like For a Girl. Okay? Now, that isn't on Quinn, but when she's so often the mouthpiece for meaningless buzzwords and generic statements of the kind of #girlbossery that 2010 took seriously but we make fun of now, it's hard not to associate it with her. And in the case of B), such as her wild Gloria Steinem spiel in I Do, well it just feels disingenuous for a number of reasons, and this is the part we probs don't have the capacity to get into today.
But what I'm trying to say is that Quinn was given so many of these #girlbossery lines and, when I rewatched season 1, I realized just how many of them also reeked of what we'd now recognize as white feminism. And far be from me to downplay Quinn's trauma and struggles, but she just ain't the girl for intersectionality with her WASPy background and distinctly feminism 101 approach to things. Maybe this is more of a vibe I get from her, and to be clear I blame the writers entirely, but I've talked to others who got this same vibe from her statements. I think any sort of feminism Glee attempts is also white feminism, though, so again I'm not blaming Queen Bee Quinn the ch. It's just the vibe that she'd point out the wage gap, something that doesn't actually affect them in high school, but ignore racist made at the expense of Santinacedes. I also get the vibes that, in-universe, even her feminism 101 only comes post-pregnancy when she experiences just some of the discrimination women like Mercedes have always faced. I mean, I love Quinncedes do not get me wrong. And this whole post feels like I'm dragging Quinn when I'm not lol. But they explicitly make the parallel of being black and pregnant in Quinncedes scenes and it's like, girl.
It's a Man's Man's Man's World, basically. Watch that performance. That's what I mean. And like I say it's sort of intentional on the writer's part but it's also sort of just how Glee operates when it comes to gender dynamics and (the lack of) intersectionality.
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#i know that is less coherent than would be desirable#but i'm afraid it was either this response now or like. none ever#and i am trying to answer stuff! so that's what i have#anon#glee asks#quinn asks#i'm sorry quinn stans don't hurt me#i call upon randomcanbian to help me out here bestie i hope you have more coherent thoughts#it's so hard to talk about quinn's ignorance because the show's way too hard on her#and even some fans#so i don't wanna add fuel to that fire because she IS traumatized and IS discriminated against#she's not just some random white girl being mildly inconvenienced preaching about the wage gap#but that is the vibe glee sometimes goes for because they cannot conceive of quinn beyond her privilege#but two things can be true at the same time#in other news i've been sleeping on this song!!
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having the ‘tumblr person’ internet dialect and commenting on tiktok is soooo funny to me. Yess boys you want to flock to like my comments in the thousands. YEEESSS. I’m not even trying. Hello
#lion’s lair#It’s so funny. Everywhere else I’m a normie#And on tiktok everything I say gets like 5000 likes. No followers or anything I just say stuff#Stuff that would just be a normal passive comment on tumblr. A 4 notes amongst mutuals post#They’re STARVED for decent feedback over there#Even just coherent feedback. Something that isn’t ’chop chop movie boy’ or telling some literal child to ‘bite the curb 4k’#When a human being speaks actual words in comments with like. An OPINION? They go NUTS#I am just saying words too much like I always do. They eat it up for some reason. No one else gives a shit#I feel bad. Tiktok people come over here instead. People actually talk to each other it’s fun
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