#am i boring for liking a new hope
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Foreign Home | [1/1]
hello!! I am back after 8 months of not-really-writing with an 8k word fic (which I cut down from 9k words). this is another OC fic w/ Vincent and Yves, who were introduced here!
anyways, this is very character-centric and establishes some things I wanted to establish about them / their world... I hope the little detour into character-development territory is okay.
Summary: Yves has told all of his friends that he's dating Vincent, so it's going to look increasingly suspicious if Vincent never shows up. Good thing Vincent is compellingly good at lying. Anyways, what could go wrong at a housewarming party? (ft. banter, fake dating, cat allergies)
—
Yves spends three weeks turning down invitations.
It’s lucky, he thinks, that he’s been able to stay in contact with so many friends from university—that so many of them have settled here, in New York. It’s less lucky considering his current circumstances:
Out of the people who made it to Margot’s New Year’s party, almost all of them remember Vincent. And—even more inconveniently—many of them seem set on inviting Yves and Vincent places.
Yves thinks up a dozen excuses. No, Vincent can’t join on our coffee outing—he’s got an important, un-reschedulable meeting with a client that Saturday. Sunday? His Sunday’s booked through until 5pm. I know, busy season is the worst to plan around. Or, I think Vincent’s going to be out for a business conference that weekend. The 22nd? I can check with him, but he’s taking a redeye flight the night before—I think he’ll be jet lagged.
The number of excuses he is capable of coming up with is unfortunately finite. Perhaps sorry, I think Vincent has an optometrist’s appointment that afternoon isn’t Yves’s best work, but he has to say something.
Really, it’s just more work to invite Vincent elsewhere—to explain that they’ve played their role as a couple a little too convincingly. That his friends all want to meet Vincent, now.
Back during his days of rowing crew, Yves has given out his fair share of relationship advice to the underclassmen, which has unfortunately—according to Margot—“cultivated an air of mystery about his personal love life.” It was always him and Erika, until it wasn’t. (Ex-matchmaker Yves and his mysterious, highly coveted new boyfriend, Leon says, when Yves complains, which is how Yves decides he will no longer be consulting Leon on the matter.)
“My friends really like you,” Yves says to Vincent, offhandedly, when he runs into him on the way back from lunch.
Vincent blinks at him.
“You’re saying that like it’s a bad thing.”
“They really like you,” Yves says. “They want to meet you. They think we’re an interesting couple, and they keep pestering me for double dates and inviting you out to a whole bunch of events. I’m running out of excuses as to why you can’t come.”
“Oh,” Vincent says, deadpan, but there’s a slight twitch to his lips, as if he’s trying not to laugh.
“I’m dead serious,” Yves says. “I told Nora that you couldn’t make it to dinner because of an eye appointment. Now if I want to keep this up I’ll need to photoshop you with new glasses.”
“I am a little overdue for new glasses,” Vincent says.
“Not the point. Regardless, I need to keep this up until we stage a breakup.”
“A breakup?”
“A fake breakup. To our fake relationship.”
“Is there someone else you’re interested in?”
“No,” Yves says. “But I’m preemptively saving you the stress.”
“The stress of playing your boyfriend?” Vincent says. “Last time, that just entailed going to a well-organized New Year’s party. I wouldn’t consider that exceptionally stressful.”
“That’s just the beginning. Don’t tell me you want to be dragged along to every dinner party and every downtown outing and every birthday I go to in the foreseeable future,” Yves says. “On top of working 60 hours a week, you’ll have to say goodbye to your weekends.”
“So that’s why you’re plotting our breakup.”
“Yes,” Yves says. “I’d need to explain to everyone how I dropped the ball.”
“I’m sure those new glasses must’ve been the dealbreaker.”
Yves laughs. Truthfully, Vincent could wear the most terrible, unflattering glasses in the world and still manage to look like someone whom Yves wouldn’t bat an eye at upon spotting at a photoshoot. The fact that his current glasses actually complement him very well, and the fact that he knows how to dress himself is just salt to the wound. “Yes, that’s the entire reason why I dated you in the first place. The glasses.”
“If you wanted to keep our false relationship up for a couple months,” Vincent says, “I wouldn’t mind.”
Yves—who, until now, has been walking in the opposite direction of the floor on which he works—stops walking. “Pardon?”
“I like your friends,” Vincent says. “And more importantly, I don’t think it proves a point to Erika if you’ve just gotten into a relationship you couldn’t keep. So if you wanted to keep this arrangement for a little longer, I would be fine with it.”
Yves considers this.
He’s asked more than enough of Vincent already. But Vincent is right. He’s sure Erika must have her fair share of doubts about all of this—about Vincent, about their fake relationship, about its longevity. She seemed skeptical, when he’d last seen her, that Yves could’ve moved on so quickly. The worst thing about it is that he can’t blame her for that doubt. The worst thing about it is that he’d spent so much time accounting for his future with Erika that he hadn’t seen her start to slip away, hadn’t noticed the first sign of inadequacy, the first time her gaze lingered on someone else, the first time he ceased to be all that she wanted. He hadn’t steeled himself for a future without her, and now, half the time, it feels like he’s still playing catch-up.
If he wants to commit to this fake relationship, he’ll need more than one outing to show for it.
And, despite all odds, Vincent is offering just that.
“Okay,” Yves says, before he can think about how bad of an idea this is. It is really, really inadvisable. He’s sure if he weighs his options for more than a few seconds, he will come to the conclusion that he should be shutting his mouth. “If you’re sure—and only if you’re actually sure—what are your plans after work next Tuesday evening?”
“Nothing as of now,” Vincent says.
“Great. If you can make it, there’s a potluck. Joel’s hosting. He recently finished moving into a new apartment, so I think it’s something of a housewarming party. He lives a little North, past the stadium, so I think I’ll head there right after work—I can drive you.”
“That works,” Vincent says. “What kind of food does he like?”
“I’m not actually too sure,” Yves says. “I think he’s a fan of spicy food. But honestly, I think he’ll be grateful if you bring anything at all—which you don’t have to, by the way. You’re the esteemed guest, here.”
“I’m sure Joel’s new apartment is technically the esteemed guest,” Vincent says. “But I’ll be there.”
“Okay,” Yves says. “It’s a date. I’ll make it up to you in any way you want, by the way—if there’s ever an instance where you need me to lie for you, I’ll do it.”
“Duly noted,” Vincent says. For what Vincent would ever have to lie about, Yves can’t guess.
More importantly, he has a date for next Tuesday. Something about it is more exciting, even in its dishonesty, than it has any right to be.
—
It’s only a few moments after Yves presses the doorbell that Vincent emerges, holding a couple plates covered meticulously with aluminum foil.
“I haven’t cooked for anyone in awhile,” he says, a little sheepishly. “I hope this doesn’t make a bad impression on your friends.” “Are you kidding? It smells really good,” Yves says, and it does—from the doorway, he can make out the scent of sesame oil, roasted garlic, ginger. “They’ll definitely like it.”
Vincent looks off to the side. “We’ll see.” It takes a moment for Yves to properly parse his expression for what it is.
It never occurred to Yves that Vincent might actually be nervous. At work, it’s rare to see Vincent even remotely out of his element—he always volunteers to take on their more difficult clients, and even on the rare occasion that something falls out of his expertise, he picks things up quickly. Yves has seen him give presentations at conferences without a sweat, articulate as ever.
If Vincent had been nervous, those times—over prestigious conferences, over negotiations with major clients, over other difficult points of contention—it hadn’t shown. Either he wasn’t nervous at all, or he was just good at hiding it. But he’s nervous now, Yves realizes, which means—
Vincent wants to make a good impression on his friends. It won’t be his first time meeting Joel, but it’ll be his first time talking to Cherie, Joel’s fiancé, or Giselle, one of Cherie’s friends from work. Mikhail and Nora will be there too. All in all, it’s a decently sized group, but Vincent has talked to larger groups of people before without so much as a shaky voice.
Something about it—about the seriousness with which Vincent regards this whole arrangement—is strangely endearing.
“You have nothing to worry about,” Yves says, and means it in more ways than one.
—
Joel’s new apartment, as it turns out, is already decently furnished, even though Joel had sent out the invitation with the disclaimer that everything is a mess, please bear with us.
“When you said everything would be a mess,” Yves says, leaving his shoes in a line at the door, “I thought your apartment would actually be something other than spotlessly clean and well arranged.”
“It’s easy to make things look neat if you move all of the clutter into the closets,” Joel says.
“It’s just a few boxes,” Cherie says. “But it was tricky to figure out how to place things. It’s a lot more spacious than the apartment we had in college.”
“No kidding,” Yves says. “It’s a seriously nice place.” Back in their last two years of university, Joel and Cherie had gotten an apartment just a few buildings down from the apartment which Yves picked out with Mikhail—they had similar floor plans. Yves distinctly remembers the space: creaky floorboards, space heaters lined up against the walls to last them the winter; decent natural lighting, and never enough kitchen space.
Back then, he and Mikhail had had separate rooms, so their apartment became a spot in which Erika became a frequent visitor, and then, at one point, stopped visiting at all.
But that’s not the point. The point is, the apartment Joel and Cherie have picked out is much nicer than the one they’d had in college—for one, it’s more spacious, and the entire building has nice facilities and looks newer—and Cherie’s eye for interior design has only helped their cause.
“I’m glad you were able to come!” Cherie says, turning to Vincent. “Yves is always telling me about how busy you are with work.”
“He’s the one putting out all the fires,” Yves says.
Vincent smiles, extending a hand for her to shake. “Cherie, right? It’s nice to meet you. And you’re—” He turns to Joel, with a slight sniffle. “Joel. I think we met last time.”
Cherie squeezes his hand. Joel laughs and says, “I’m surprised you remember my name.”
“He’s good with names,” Yves says. An acquired skill from all the hours of networking, probably.
“That’s a useful skill to have, especially if you’re dating Yves,” Joel says. “I swear he knows everyone.” He goes on to tell a story about how, back in university, Yves almost accidentally got elected as vice president for a business club he’d only shown up to once.
At some point into the conversation, Yves ducks into the kitchen to help with setup. He sets out the dish he’s brought—salmon sliders with mango salsa—and the beef skewers that Vincent made earlier (he’s not sure why Vincent was worried in the first place, because the skewers look very competently made). After that, he busies himself with finding a way to keep everything temporarily covered until they eat.
Something soft and fuzzy winds around his ankles.
He looks down, and the soft and fuzzy thing looks back at him with pointy triangular ears. This is news to Yves.
“You guys have a cat?!” He shouts from the kitchen, vaguely in the direction where Joel and Cherie should still be standing. “Since when?”
“Since a month ago,” Joel shouts back.
“Her name is Gingersnap,” Cherie adds. “Gin for short.”
“Oh,” Yves says, kneeling down to scratch her behind the ears. His hands are a little calloused from all the snow he’s been shoveling lately, but Gingersnap purrs anyways, evidently unbothered. “What the hell, guys, now I’m never going to be able to leave your apartment. Consider me a permanent resident.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” Cherie says.
At some point, Gingersnap gets up, mewing, and heads out of the kitchen, and Yves resumes life as an active contributor to the potluck’s success. When he finishes reheating everything up, setting the table, arranging the dishes, and filling up two pitchers with iced water, he wanders back out into the living room. Vincent is there, alone, except he’s not really alone, because…
Oh.
God.
He’s kneeling down, unmoving, speaking to Gingersnap in a soft, low voice, holding out a hand for her.
She approaches him, a little tentatively, and then nuzzles her orange head into the crook of his hand. Vincent smiles—a soft, private smile. “Hi, Gin,” he says.
There’s the low, lawnmower hum of a purr as Gingersnap rolls onto the ground to let Vincent continue petting her. It’s a heartwarming sight—Vincent, from the office, crouched down to pet a cat that’s smaller than his hand. Yves thinks he might cry.
Then Vincent withdraws his hand, reaches up with an arm to swipe at his eyes. Something jolts through his shoulders, a tremor so slight that Yves wouldn’t have noticed it if he hadn’t already been watching—
“—nGkt-!”
Gingersnap mews at him, perplexed but undeterred. “Sorry,” Vincent says to her, quietly, “I’m not trying— to—” It’s all he can get out before he’s veering away again, this time with both hands tightly steepled over his nose for—
“hhIH’—GKKtt-!”
He sniffles softly, though the sniffle is immediately followed by a small, quiet cough. He reaches up with one hand to rub his nose. Yves watches his expression draw uneven, his eyebrows furrowing.
“hhIH…”
Whatever sneeze he’s fighting seems terribly indecisive—but terribly irritating—for the way he rubs his nose again, his eyes squeezing shut in ticklish anticipation.
“HhIH… hh… HH-hhH-hHIHh—”
He cups a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound, and not a moment too early—
“—hIHh’iiIKKTSHh-!”His shoulders jolt forwards with the force of it, though it gives him barely a moment’s reprieve before his breath hitches again, sharply, urgently. “IiI’DSZCHuuhh-!”
“Bless you,” Yves says.
Vincent turns to blink at him. His eyes are a little red-rimmed and watering. There’s a thin flush over the bridge of his nose.
“You didn’t tell me you were allergic to cats,” Yves says, rounding the corner to close the distance between them.
“Slightly allergic,” Vincent admits, turning aside with a liquid sniffle. “It’s ndot - hhIHH-! - a big deal.”
“I didn’t know Joel and Cherie had a cat,” Yves says. “I’m sorry. I would’ve told you if they did.”
“It’s fine,” Vincent says, with a laugh. “I like her.”
“You might like her, but your body doesn’t seem to be a fan.”
“It’s a good thing that I have a consciousness, so I can codtinue petting her.” Vincent sniffles again, lifting one hand to rub his nose with his index finger. Yves does not know how to even begin to tell him what an inadvisable idea that is, but either way, he doesn’t have a chance to before Vincent’s eyes graze shut, and he turns to face away from Gingersnap before he jerks forward, catching a muffled - “Hh’GKK-t!” - into a clenched fist.
“Bless you,” Yves says. “You know, you’re really not going to make the situation any better if you keep on—”
“nNGKT-!!”
“—bless you!”
“hh—hHhih’iiKKsHHhUH!” The last sneeze is noticeably harsher than the others—it sounds loud enough to scrape against his throat, which seems to be further evidenced by the small cough that succeeds it.
“I’ll ask Joel if he has any antihistamines,” Yves says.
“It’s fide,” Vincent says.
“If you insist on spending time with Gingersnap, wouldn’t it be better to spend it without having to sneeze?”
“I would still have to sdeeze,” Vincent says, as if he’s already experienced in the matter—briefly, Yves wonders how many cats he inadvisably plays with on a frequent basis. “Just less.”
“That would be an improvement.”
Vincent looks away. “Antihistamines mbake me tired,” he says, after a little hesitation.
“It’s a good time to be tired,” Yves says. “It’s not like you have any pressing work to get done.”
“I want to make a good ibpression on your friends,” Vincent says, wiping at his eyes with the edge of his sleeve. “That’s ndot going to happen if I fall asleep halfway through dinner.”
“If you did, I’m sure no one would fault you for it.”
“I’ll take something after we finish eating,” Vincent says. “If things haved’t improved by then. ”
“Okay,” Yves relents, and—since it doesn’t seem like Vincent is leaving anytime soon—takes a seat next to him on the rug. It’s a compromise he can accept.
—
Nora gets there next, followed by Mikhail and then Giselle. It’s Yves’s first time formally meeting Giselle, who turns out to be very tall and a little intimidating—she’s come straight from work, so she’s dressed accordingly, and she talks with the sort of quiet authority that Yves knows is usually indicative of years of experience. Right before they sit down for dinner, Vincent ducks out into the bathroom—‘I need to look at least marginally presentable,’ he’d said, seeming like he was in a rush—so Yves saves him a seat at the table.
“Yves,” Giselle says, taking another salmon slider. “You made these entirely from scratch? This is delicious.”
“Thanks,” Yves says. “To be honest, it was a bit of a gamble. I wasn’t sure if the sauce was going to pair well with it.”
“Yves is really good at cooking,” Mikhail says. “That’s half the reason why I roomed with him in college.”
“So what’s the other half?” Cherie says.
“The other half is that he lets me eat his food,” Mikhail says.
Yves laughs. “For a second, I thought you’d have something nice to say about my personality.”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” Mikhail says.
“Yves is very good at cooking,” Vincent says, emerging from the hallway. Yves blinks at him. Whatever he’d done in the bathroom has done wonders—he looks remarkably put together. Not a strand of his hair is out of place. His eyes are dry, not red, not teary, not irritated, his collar crisply upright, his voice devoid of congestion. The only telltale sign about his ailment is the slight bit of redness to his nose, but it’s winter—that could easily be chalked up to the cold.
He slips easily into the seat next to Yves, his posture impeccable. Yves does everything in his power not to stare.
“I think he’s responsible for some of the best hot chocolate I’ve had,” Vincent continues. That remark is surprising, too—repurposed from a memory as it is, it seems almost like something that could be genuine.
But Yves remembers how easily Vincent had lied, back on New Year’s—how easily he’d drawn the fictitious threads between them, almost thoughtlessly, as if they had always existed.
I could make better hot chocolate, Yves thinks, before he can stop himself. I could really make the best hot chocolate you’ve ever tasted, if I just had time. It’s an absurd thought, and one that he doesn’t have much grounds for. He had been pressed for time, back then—he hadn’t known when Vincent’s ride was going to be arriving—but even if he’d really, properly tried, even if he’d succeeded in making the best hot chocolate he’s capable of making, there’s no guarantee that Vincent would’ve liked it.
He’s surprised by the pang in his chest, now, the desire to make true something that he knows to be false, to be worthy of the compliments that Vincent’s so easily spoken about.
“That’s definitely an exaggeration,” Yves says. “Technically, Mikhail didn’t even know that I knew how to cook when we signed the lease. The real reason why we roomed together is much more interesting.”
It’s a story he’s told before, though Cherie and Giselle haven’t heard it before. It’s easy to fall into it again: Mikhail and Yves met in their first year, over a group project in an intro to finance class. The two other members of their team had been dead weight, and at the time, Yves had thought—incorrectly—that Mikhail was just as bad as the rest of them.
It’s practically a comedy of errors—a series of miscommunications had led them to each finish the project independently. Yves remembers the all-nighters he’d pulled for that, nervous and over-caffeinated, until the day before the presentation, where he found that Mikhail had not—unlike the other members of their group—spent the last few weeks slacking off.
Beside him, Vincent goes still.
When Yves chances a quick look at him, he sees: a slight, almost imperceptible ripple to his expression, before it smooths out again.
He nearly backtracks—his first thought is that perhaps something he’s said is the source of Vincent’s irritation—but then Vincent turns his face away. There’s the slightest disturbance to the line of his shoulders, and then—
“—gkT-!”
The sneeze is barely audible, stifled as it is into a half-closed palm, though the gesture is subtle, too—easily mistaken as Vincent simply looking away, resting his chin on his hand.
“I can’t believe you guys are still friends after all of that,” Nora says.
“Right,” Yves says. “I was so ready to never talk to him again. But obviously, we still had to give the presentation.”
He talks about how, in a half-asleep effort to salvage the project work, he and Mikhail had found some way to relate their findings to each other, to loosely bind the disparate subjects into a coherent thesis. Mikhail talks, too, about how they’d manipulated their presentation to get their combined work to seem sufficiently on topic.
Mikhail is halfway through his story when Yves sees Vincent jolt forward beside him.
He looks up just in time to catch the tail end of a sneeze—expertly stifled, just like the others—into a clenched fist. This one’s a little more forceful, even in its quietness—it leaves Vincent hunched over for just a moment, his shoulders slightly slumped, before he straightens again, covertly lowering his hand.
There’s a slightly hazy, distant look to his features, as if whatever’s been bothering him hasn’t begun to let up yet.
Yves nudges him with his arm. Vincent doesn’t exactly jump at the contact, but he does freeze, his shoulders stiffening.
“Hey,” Yves says, quietly enough that he doesn’t think anyone else should be able to hear. “You okay?”
Vincent nods.
“You sure you don’t want to take anything?”
Another nod.
“I can’t tell you how little either of us proofread that paper,” Mikhail is saying.
“I reread it three months later,” Yves admits. “And he’s right. We really didn’t proofread it.”
But it was a winning proposal, even though they’d both been too tired to realize it then. And still, Mikhail had still managed to hold a grudge against him for two long months. And then Mikhail had run into last-minute problems with his upcoming lease arrangement, and Yves had happened to find a decently priced two-bedroom apartment with no roommate, and he’d reached out half as a joke.
“You know those friends who say they can never room together?” Mikhail is saying. “Like, they hang out all the time, or they’ve been friends for years, or they trust each other with their lives, or whatever. But the second you put their living habits in close proximity, everything goes to shit? I think we were the opposite.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t just because you two never had a good enough relationship to ruin in the first place?” Nora says jokingly.
She has a point. Yves is starting to think that all of the formative relationships in his life have all happened by accident.
—
Vincent and Giselle get along very well, Yves notes, listening to the two of them talk. Halfway through dinner, they get into a heated discussion about the more outward-facing expectations at work, as Joel and Cherie exchange knowing glances. Giselle talks about feeling accountable for the team she manages—for knowing that if they don’t perform, she’ll take the fall for them; for being careful not to disperse the stress from higher ups unevenly, for constantly feeling her way through how much work is reasonable to expect of them. Vincent talks about the stress of apportioning work to others—the knowledge in his own competence and the knowledge gap when it comes to how others will handle things, the desire to take on more work alone to make sure everything is accounted for.
Nora, who’d had an internship at a different firm after each year in college, weighs in too on the management styles she’d been under, to what extent the expectations from leadership affected the dynamic between her coworkers.
It’s interesting, Yves thinks, that they all have their own subset of worries, even when they come across as people who are so certain of themselves.
As the others speak, Vincent stops periodically to rub his nose with the knuckle of his index finger—an action that always seems to keep the irritation at bay, but never seems to mitigate it entirely. For a moment, his expression goes hazy, his eyes watering ever so slightly, but it always lasts only a moment.
When Mikhail cracks a joke that has the entire table laughing, Vincent takes the opportunity to cough quietly into an upheld fist. When Cherie talks about her and Joel’s extremely mathematical efforts to fit everything into the car before moving, Vincent turns aside, raising a napkin to his face with a quiet, well-contained sniffle.
It’s difficult to tell, at first. But his attempts to keep quiet, to succumb to his symptoms as inconspicuously as possible, take their toll on him. Every time he jerks forward with a near-silent stifle, Yves can tell, by Vincent’s expression when he emerges, that it’s just short of relieving. Every sniffle seems to only add on to the mounting congestion, in the long run. It’s a slow, almost imperceptible unraveling.
And yet, when Yves asks about it—when he offers to ask the others for antihistamines, or when he offers to make the drive to a convenience store himself; when he suggests that they go out to get some fresh air—he’s always faced with the same nonanswer, the same dismissive, I’ll be fine. The same persistent, Don’t worry about it.
So Yves doesn’t worry about it, for now—at least, not outwardly.
—
At some point after dinner, they disperse. Yves talks to Joel and Cherie about the apartment, about the pains of moving in, about the other places they’d considered and about why this one had been at the top of the list. Then about the cat— “we had been talking about getting one,” Cherie says. “And then one day Joel was wandering around downtown, and one of the pet shops there was holding an adoption event, and then when I got home there was a cat in the living room.”
“He didn’t call you to come pick out a cat with him?”
“Have you ever heard of ‘ask for forgiveness, not permission?’” Joel says.
“He texted me before he brought her home,” Cherie says, and scrolls through her phone until she finds a text that says: Would you kill me if I brought home a cat. Just asking for a friend. And hypothetically if we extended this thought experiment it would be an orange cat that’s 2 months old.
“That sounds like a text from someone who’s absolutely decided already,” Yves says. “Ask for forgiveness, huh? So how’s the forgiveness going?”
“I let her name her,” Joel says.
“He’s on litter box duty for the next six months,” Cherie says.
On the other side of the room, Mikhail and Vincent are having a conversation—it could be because Vincent is the person in the room that Mikhail has talked to least, to date, but Yves has a feeling that it’s so that Mikhail can gain embarrassing intel on what Yves has been doing for the past few months.
Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Vincent turn away, his eyebrows drawing together, raising both his hands to his face to catch a sneeze into steepled hands. Then, not a moment later, his shoulders shudder forward with another.
“Totally off topic,” Yves says, to Joel and Cherie. “Do you guys have any antihistamines?”
“I think we have some Benadryl,” Cherie says. “It should be in the bathroom cabinet, behind the mirror.”
He does find it there, eventually—next to a box of band-aids and a small cylindrical container of cotton swabs. Perhaps he’ll hand it to Vincent, discreetly, when he’s done talking to Mikhail. Vincent had said antihistamines made him tired, but now that dinner is over, it shouldn’t be an issue—Yves suspects people will start heading out soon, and he’ll be the one driving, anyways.
When he steps out into the hallway, Mikhail and Vincent are in the middle of a conversation. It’s a conversation Yves has every intention of interrupting, and no intention of eavesdropping on, until he overhears—
“So,” Mikhail says, “When you first started dating Yves, what was it that you saw in him?”
Yves winces. That’s certainly not an easy question to answer—he and Vincent don’t know each other all that well, and any planning they have done on the basis of their fake relationship has been almost entirely centered around logistics—events, important dates, flagship moments in the relationship, trivia-worthy personal details. Not… this.
But Vincent just laughs, seemingly unfazed. “Honestly, if I told you everything I liked about Yves, you’d want to date him too.”
“That’s a tall claim,” Mikhail says. Yves is positively certain that no permutation of words in the universe could make Mikhail want to date him. “You can’t just say that and not give any examples.”
“I guess Yves is a very considerate person,” Vincent says, with a sniffle. “It actually confused me, at first. When I was growing up, after I moved here from Korea, I was brought up in the sort of environment where there was always an expectation for self-sufficiency. It didn’t matter how young I was, I guess—there were certain things I was expected to know, and certain things I was expected to teach myself.”
Something about his expression looks wistful, if not a little sad. But perhaps this is a trick of the light; perhaps his eyes are just watering from earlier. “My parents trusted me with a lot of things, but it was the kind of trust where they weren’t planning on filling in the gaps for me if I fell short.”
“I know what you mean,” Mikhail says. “That must’ve been difficult.”
“It wasn’t easy,” Vincent says. “But I’m not telling you this because it was a burden to me, or anything. Back then, it was all that I had ever known. It was normal to me, then, because it was inevitable.”
“Yves is a very different person than I am,” Vincent says. “At times, when I was growing up, it felt like kindness was always something that had to be calculated.”
He pauses, sniffling again, before he raises his arm to his face with a forceful—
“hIhh’GKT-! Hh… hh-HHih’NGKktshH!”
“Bless you,” Mikhail says reflexively.
“Thadk you,” Vincent says, sniffling. He lowers his arm. “I was always taught that if you lend a hand to someone else, you have to make sure their success is not the thing that robs you of your spot—that sort of thing. But Yves is kind even without thinking about it. He’s kind even when there’s nothing in it for him.”
“So that was what made you develop feelings for him?” Mikhail asks.
“Eventually, yes,” Vincent says. “At first, I thought that we were irreconcilably different.”
“What changed?”
“Yves is an easy person to like, romantically or otherwise,” Vincent says. “It’s a little disarming to be on the receiving end of his type of kindness. And I think that’s ultimately what made me start liking him. He’s just the sort of selfless person you can’t help but admire, if that makes sense. It’s like—when someone does so much for you out of sheer selflessness, at some point, you start wanting to be a part of their happiness too.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Yves sees a small orange blur—mostly fluff, on four short white legs, with two pointy ears—bound from the kitchen into the living room.
“I get it,” Mikhail says. “That’s an interesting answer. It makes me hopeful that Yves might’ve stumbled into a relationship that will be very good for him.”
That’s a statement he’ll have to revise, Yves thinks wryly, in a few months, whenever it stops being practical for Vincent to keep up this act.
“Oh,” Vincent says, blinking. “What makes you say that?”
“When he and Erika broke up, he was—” Mikhail pauses, briefly, and Yves is thinking about the many embarrassing—but completely, verifiably true—ways he could finish off that sentence. “—he was pretty upset,” Mikhail says, instead, which Yves decides is suitably merciful.
“Look, what’s between them is between them—I’m not going to claim I know all the ins and outs of their relationship. But given that Yves was living with me for much of the time that he and Erika were dating, I’ve seen them interact more times than I can count.”
“I don’t think Erika is a bad person,” he continues. “She’s very ambitious, which I think was good for Yves back when they first started dating. But I don’t think she recognized those things about him—how much he cares for others, how much he gives people the benefit of the doubt, how much he… well, frankly, how much bullshit he’s willing to endure on his end. I think she took his kindness for granted, a little bit, and she certainly didn’t go out of her way to reciprocate.”
“What I’m saying is, I’m glad he met you,” Mikhail says. Beside him, something small and orange hops onto the couch they’re standing next to. “I can tell that what you said was sincere.”
If even Mikhail thought he was being sincere, perhaps Vincent is a little too good of an actor.
“Obviously, it’s early for me to be saying this, so you can take it with a grain of salt,” Mikhail continues. “But I think you could be kind to him in the way he deserves.”
The sentence feels like a punch to the stomach.
And—well.
I’m glad he met you. I think you could be kind to him in the way he deserves.
Yves has really dug himself into this hole, hasn’t he?
Mikhail thinks that Vincent is good for him—Mikhail, one of Yves’s closest friends, someone who is by no means quick to express his approval over whoever Yves is seeing—which means that when they inevitably stage their breakup, Yves is never going to hear the end of it.
Is it cruel to be taking Vincent to all of these events, to be introducing him to all of his friends, when—after the impending breakup—Vincent might never see any of them again? Is it cruel that Mikhail likes Vincent enough to be hopeful that this is going to last?
Yves doesn’t have time to contemplate it more when three things happen.
One—Gingersnap, who is still perched at the very top of the couch, nudges her face against Vincent’s arm and mews softly at him.
Two—Vincent stops what he’s doing to reach out slowly, cautiously, to scratch gently at the fur under her chin. Gingersnap purrs, leaning her head into his hand.
Three—Vincent withdraws his hand, suddenly, as if he’s been burned, twisting away reflexively. He lifts his hand—the same hand he’s been petting Gingersnap with (probably inadvisably) to his face, to cover a resounding—
“hh—hiHH-hHihh’iIZSChHH-uhh! snf-!”
The sneeze sounds ticklish and barely relieving, as if he’s been holding it in all afternoon.
It’s only a few moments later that Vincent’s jerking forward with another ticklish, wrenching, “hh… hhiHH… NgKT-!—hh’hiiIIIK’TSCHhuhH! snf-! hiIh… hIIIH-IITSCHh’yyue!”
“Oh,” Mikhail says, finally comprehending. “You’re allergic to cats?”
“Just slightly— hIh… hH- Hiih—hhH’nNGkT-!” Vincent sniffles wetly, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand. “Sorry to - hh-! - cut our codversatiod short - hH… I… hhiHh’IiKSHhuh! Excuse mbe… hH… Hhh-! I’mb going to rund to the bathroom… hh… hhiIh… hh-HIih’iiIK’SHhUHhh!”
Yves ducks out into the kitchen before Vincent has a chance to head his way. He busies himself with removing a glass from the cabinet and filling it with water, Somewhere behind him, he hears the bathroom door click shut, hears the slightly muffled sound of a sneeze, then another.
He shuts his eyes.
Vincent had said that it was fine. Should Yves have insisted? It’s Yves’s fault, again, that Vincent is in this situation, but then again, he couldn’t have known—both that Joel and Cherie would have a cat, and that Vincent would like her so much. Either way, Yves can’t help but feel partially responsible.
But would it be strange, now, to offer Vincent something to take for it, to openly acknowledge his affliction? Should he have done something earlier? Or should he wait to acknowledge it after they leave?
Against all doubt, he finds himself outside of the bathroom door.
Yves knocks.
There’s the sound of water running, inside, and then the sound of the faucet being turned to shut. Then there’s a brief pause. Yves is contemplating knocking again when the door opens just a crack.
There, Vincent stands, his eyes a little watery still, his nose just slightly redder than usual, his hair slightly out of place—he’s just washed his face, then.
“Yves,” Vincent says.
“Um,” Yves says, holding out the glass of water and, next to it, the bottle of Benadryl. “Thought you could use these.”
Vincent takes the cup, a little hesitantly, and sets it on the bathroom counter. Then he takes the bottle of allergy medicine, unscrews the cap, and removes two small pink pills.
“Thank you,” he says. Yves thinks he’s about to take a sip when he twists to the side suddenly, his eyes squeezing shut, snapping forward with a loud—
“hIIH’IIKKSHh’hUh!”
The hand he’s holding the cup with trembles a bit with the action, but the water inside doesn’t spill.
“Bless you,” Yves says, taking the cup from him, before—
“hIHH… hh-Hhih’iISCHhh’Uhh!”
“Bless you!”
The only acknowledgment Vincent gives him is to take the cup back from him, sniffling, and down the pills in one quick, decisive sip.
“They’ll take some time to take effect,” Yves says, though he’s sure that Vincent knows that already, for the way he knew to take two, even without reading the label on the bottle. “Are you okay?”
“It’s been awhile since my last edcounter with a cat,” Vincent says, sniffling.
“You forgot how bad it was?”
“It gets better with exposure,” he says. And worse without.
Yves says, “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I really didn’t know they’d have a cat.”
“Even if you’d known, I ndever told you I was allergic,” Vincent says. “It’s fine.”
“I should’ve thought to check. Seriously, a housewarming party—”
“I told you, snf, I like cats,” Vincent says, clearing his throat. “So it’s fine.”
Yves looks around—at the bathroom, which looks just as pristine as he’d left it earlier, except that the tissue box on the bathroom counter is a little askew. At the slight tiredness to Vincent’s posture, even as he looks off to the side, tilting his glasses up to his forehead to swipe at his eyes with his sleeve.
“Do you want to get out of here?“ Yves says.
“I cad stay,” Vincent says, as if he really is willing to, despite the side effects. “Do you want to stay longer?”
I want you to be comfortable, Yves wants to say.
Instead, he says, “I think I’ve just about caught up with everyone. Besides, we have work tomorrow, and I think Cherie and Joel do too, so I don’t want to stay too late, you know?”
“Okay,” Vincent says.
“I’m happy you came,” Yves says, stepping past Vincent to put the bottle of Benadryl back into its original spot, where he found it. He snags the glass from the counter on his way out.
“Your friends are a fun crowd,” Vincent says, following him out.
Yves laughs. “I think just between you and me, Mikhail has been dying to interrogate you about this relationship.”
“He did idterrogate me,” Vincent says. “How much of it did you overhear?”
“What?”
“When you were standing out in the hallway.”
Oh. Well, perhaps he hadn’t been as discreet about eavesdropping as he’d thought. Yves says, “Okay, you got me. I heard a good amount.”
“I don’t think Mikhail noticed you there, if you’re worried,” Vincent says. “In any case, it doesd’t matter if you overheard. It was just the same story.”
They step out into the hallway. Giselle has left, already, to be home in time for a cross-timezone call with a team that works somewhere halfway across the world. Yves bids everyone else a goodbye (Cherie and Joel thank him for coming, and Cherie hugs him and Vincent both on the way out; Nora asks Vincent to send her a recipe to his beef skewers, to which Vincent admits sheepishly that he stole from a cookbook, to which Nora says “making it successfully is half the work;” Mikhail says, “If you and Vincent get a place too, I want to be invited to your housewarming party.”)
On the way out, Yves grabs both of their coats off from where they’re hanging in a closet next to the front door, and hands Vincent’s coat to him. There’s never much street parking by the apartment, so the car is parked a couple blocks down, and it’s cold enough to be worth bundling up.
“You’re very good at lying,” Yves says, when he’s sure that the door is shut behind them.
Outside, it’s snowing just a little. Snow falls from the sky in thick white flakes. Vincent pulls his hood over his shoulders, sniffling a little—though whether that’s from the cold or from the allergies, Yves can’t be sure. “Is that a compliment or an insult?”
“Definitely a compliment. I just mean, you play the part really well.”
“So instead of being a good boyfriend, I’m a good fake boyfriend,” Vincent says, lifting his sleeve to his face to muffle a cough into it. “Somehow, that seems much less impressive.”
“It’s arguably more impressive,” Yves says. “It definitely requires a different subset of skills.”
Vincent is quiet for a moment. When Yves looks over, he sees Vincent raise both hands to his face, steepling them over his nose, his eyes fluttering shut.
“hHh… hHh’iiiIKKSshh’uhh!”
“Bless you,” Yves says.
“Ndot— hh… hHh… done — hH-hhIh’nGKKTsHuuh! hHh-hH’IIZSCHHhhuh!”
“Bless you! Cats, huh?”
Vincent hums. It’s snowed all through dinner—the snow under their feet coats the sidewalk, powdery and untouched. Their shoes sink into it while they walk.
“I didn’t know you used to live in Korea,” Yves says.
“It’s not a secret, snf-!,” Vincent says. “But I ndever found an occasion to bring it up.”
Yves can think of a hundred things to say—how it’s strange only learning this information secondhand; it’s strange to play the part of someone who knows Vincent and knows him intimately, and to know so little about him, at the core of it. Isn’t it like that, with coworkers? The only window he has to Vincent’s life is made up of the things Vincent has chosen to share with him—over small talk in the break room, or conversationally over their outings, or during longer drives.
He knows an assortment of trivia, like Vincent’s favorite color (green) or Vincent’s birthday (March 15th) or the number of siblings Vincent has (one), or when he had his first kiss (during his first year in university) or his least favorite chore (vacuuming) or how he spends his weekends (generally at the library downtown, catching up on work or working on his personal projects). But even that was only for the sake of having something to say if his friends asked him—of having a basic understanding of his supposed partner that Vincent could later corroborate.
“Was it very different there?”
“I moved here when I was pretty young,” Vincent says. “But it was very different.”
When Yves looks over, there’s something complicated to Vincent’s expression that gives him pause. “Back then, I was young enough that everything was new to me. So the cultural shift wasn’t as pronounced for me as it was for the rest of the family. I think that’s why they moved back, eventually.”
“Did that happen recently?”
“They moved back just six years after we came here,” he says. “I was in high school at the time, so I stayed with my aunt to continue my education here.”
“Was it difficult living here on your own?”
“Is this useful to you?”
Yves blinks, taken aback. “Sorry?”
“Is this information useful to you?” Vincent says, looking over at him. His glasses have fogged up a little in the cold. “Do you think your friends are going to ask about it?”
“It’s—not exactly useful in that sense,” Yves says, backtracking. “I just wanted to know. But you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
That’s right, he reminds himself—he and Vincent are only doing this for appearances’ sake.
“I got used to it,” Vincent says, finally, which isn’t exactly an answer. “It’s hard to say if—hold on, I— hh-!”
Yves sees him duck off to the side, raising his arm to his face.
“Bless you—!”
“hh-Hhiih’IIZSCHh’uhH!”
The sneeze is muffled slightly into his sleeve. Vincent sniffles, keeping his arm clamped to his face for a moment, in trepidation, before dropping it to his side.
“Apologies, snf-!,” he says, as if he has anything to apologize for. “It’s hard to say if things would’ve been better if I’d gone back with them to Korea. I just know things would’ve been different.”
Yves doesn’t know what to say to that. It feels like something that Vincent has thought about for years, something that Yves couldn’t even begin to comprehend—growing up here, alone. Away from his family, in a country foreign to him, with his family all the way on the other side of the Pacific ocean; staying with a stranger. To say that it had to have been difficult would be a vast understatement.
Had he doubted himself, then? Had it been his idea to stay here, in the States? Had his parents told him it was for the best? Had he argued with them on the subject? Had they listened?
“Do you think you’re happy enough now to justify that decision?” Yves asks.
Vincent is quiet for a bit. Around them, the snow continues to fall, silent and slow, listing upwards on every updrift. “Sometimes,” he says.
—
When they get back to the car, Vincent is quiet. The car is frigid, the window panes cold enough to fog up when Yves puts his hand on them—he puts the heaters on to the highest setting. If anything, being out of the cold seems to make Vincent’s nose run even more—a fact which he carefully obscures, resting his face on the palm of his hand with a few muffled sniffles.
“Thanks again for coming,” Yves says. “I know I—and everyone else—already said that to you like a hundred times. But I mean it.”
“It’s ndo problem, snf,” Vincent says. “I’ll be sure to avoid putting you into contact with cats in the future,” Yves says.
“There’s ndo need for that.”
“While we’re at it, is there anything else you’re allergic to?”
“Not much,” Vincent says. “Unless you pland on getting rid of the entire season of spring.”
“That’s secretly why you chose an office job,” Yves says. “So you could avoid all the pollen by staying inside all day.”
“Busy season was - snf-! - idvented solely for that purpose,” Vincent says.
It’s barely a couple minutes into the drive when Vincent stifles a yawn into his fist.
“Are you tired?” Yves asks. “I mean, you did say that thing about antihistamines making you tired.”
“Wide awake,” Vincent says, before—moments later—hiding another yawn behind a cupped hand.
“Evidently,” Yves says, which earns him a quiet laugh.
“Tell me if you ndeed me,” Vincent says, leaning his head lightly on the passenger seat window. As if this is work, or something. As if Yves could have any conceivable reason to need him during the drive home.
“Not at all,” Yves says. “As a matter of fact, it’d probably be a good thing if you close your eyes. You wouldn’t have to look at all this traffic.” It’s a little past rush hour, but traffic is only just starting to clear up, and driving in the city at any hour has never been a particularly pleasant experience.
Vincent opens his eyes. “Do you wadt me to help navigate?”
“I want you to sleep,” Yves says. “I’m an expert at handling traffic.”
It’s as if all this time, Vincent was merely waiting for permission. Yves isn’t certain if he’s asleep, but he certainly looks to be—when Yves sneaks a glance at him, his eyes are shut, his shoulders slack, and his breathing has evened out. It’s an image Yves wants to thoroughly take in—the slow rise of his chest, his eyelashes fanned out over his cheeks.
Instead, he drives. Instead, he stares hard at the rows and rows of cars before him, at every traffic light, and tries not to think about—
Vincent, at the housewarming party, kneeling down to pet a cat smaller than his hand, despite being well aware of the consequences.
Vincent, calling Yves kind even without thinking about it, talking about him—about his best qualities—with near-artful dishonesty.
Vincent, walking beside him in the snow, talking candidly about growing up here; the unspoken understanding between them about how much he must’ve given up.
That Vincent, the same Vincent from work, asleep in Yves’s passenger seat, while Yves drives him home.
Yves can’t help but think that if he caught feelings for someone like Vincent, Erika would be the least of his problems.
#sneeze fic#snz fic#sneeze kink#snz kink#snz#probably one of the longest oneshots i've posted here#i'm sorry if this is not like#as... snz-driven as usual? it's a little more mellow and i really hope that doesn't make it a boring read#i promise i am in the middle of writing something spicier 😭#my fic#also thank you to everyone who has left comments/come talk to me about fool me twice 🥹 it makes me really happy to know that there are#people out there who like reading these two#yvverse#(<- new tag for them)
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the never stop blowing up vhs is where cute twinks go to get harmed
#not art#nsbu spoilers#kirk blade.... johnny manhattan..... maybe tenuously cosmo chase#also genuinely I Love that vic ethanol is showing himself to be bit of a dick#and kingskin conversely First Actual Communication With The Player is like. idk I just work here#(I am vibrating in my seat abt liv bloodlust. shes experiencing a bit of emotional consequence. hope she powers thru it and#becomes even worse)#I also love that g13 and jack manhattan are both like. gone#I know in adventuring party they're charting it to shape up as like. usha also slowly losing herself to the work like g13 did#and them becoming one entity entirely in the sense that their selves stop mattering in the face of their hacker capacity#(also called the Forum Moderator Dilemma)#but I also like to think that g13 handed it back to usha cleanly in the second episode with that one interaction#and is now fully unplugged from everything. left the movie. man is Sleeping#we all agree that paula ate jack manhattan tho I think it's fine to assume that#and! the way russell has been like. fully going whole hog full tilt into helping other people and moving the plot along#while Suggesting That Doing Self Reflection And Learning Lessons From This World Might Help to Other People#like I love that. 1/lieutenant syndrome but also 2/extremely transfem coded#like past the ''ohh I have realisationd I'm coming to'' stage. far past. man is bored with thinking abt genders#not new realisation to him! had that thought two decades ago. not motivated enough by anything to change anything#I think I just love the scenario of like magical mystical journey in a fantasy world clearly designed to make you contemplate ur gender#and ur like oh no what? we did that years ago. whats up#deeply interested tho. open up russell we wanna see whats up with u#dang is perfect no note 10/10 more important than anything else he is genre aware and savvy and that truly is all he needs here#the ''let's make it fun'' scene he does with liv is SO good I love him. Im so scared the vhs will snatch him away. hes too genre perfect
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I'm actually so obsessed with him it's not even funny if i'm not listening to a TikTok or music directly related to him I can't focus free me free me
This is @/cherubpuppet's OC for a object show [au? pitch? wip show? How do I categorize this] and I've been destroyed by the fact that ruler art is infinitely superior [and 10x longer] and i don't have a good enough grasp on lip gloss's personality to make fanfiction so I am frozen in "want make fanart but fanart takes effort :["
#also object shows are the new mlp community change my mind /ref#from what ive seen a very large part of the community is centered around death/gore or mature topics? it reminds me of the mlp infection au#that and smile hd and everybody keeps saying object shiws are kids shows - if kids are making this stuff then good for them /gen#every fandom has its toxic/proship/18+ side obviously but from my pov gen alpha needed something they coudl handle age appropriate extremes#with - its just alot harder to make compelling emotional angst/gore with newer ultra sanitized shows or w/ mascot horror#and like thats a whole nother tooic but its obvious to me younger kids have flocked to mascot horror so harshly because average kids tv is#much more afraid of tackling any big topics to the point that the ones that DO [bluey] immediately are pushed into front and center#but i mean i also rewatched a few episodes of the shows i grew up with and ngl i think we need shit like ren and stimpy and invader zim#i hate ren and stimpy and i didnt grow up with zim but i grew up with pbs kids shit and that shit looking back was hella boring i never#cared for any of the tv shows i saw aside from elmos world and even then i was hoping that something gorey would happen. at like 5 yrs old#im rambling anyway im not sure if im actually going to get into the os communitg but i AM horribly attached to tape to the point that its#maybe possibly becoming harmful to my mental health so im gonna stick around for him for like months#just know that if im not posting anything its because im obsessed with this guy#oh also DID/MALE SA REP LETS FUCKIN GOOO#I LOVE PSYCHOLOGY AND IVE HAD LIKE 4 FRIENDS WITH DID/OSDD I NEED MORE POSITIVE REP OF STIGMATIZED/COMPLEX DISORDERS !!!!!#art#tape dispenser#search for smos#talk talks#EDIT NO. NO DONT SAY IM THE ONLY PERSON ON TUMBLR WHO HAS USED THE SMOS TAG NO. OH MY GOD#PLEASE BEING OBSESSED WITH SOMEONE ELSES OC IS SO GARD DONT LEAVE ME ALONE DO I NEED TO BUILD THIS FANDOM FROM THE GROUND UP??? NOO
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Well, one thing I'll say for this season is at least it seems like there'll be some actual calls.
#911 spoilers#911 negativity#911 discourse#sooooo not into this season#i need a new show asap#because 911 is not doing it for me anymore#i hope maybe that'll change when it actually starts#but right now i am actively bored or irritated at all of the promo they've released#like i am not here for these storylines#feel like i'm about to be tossed into lone star 2.0 instead of og
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🌸👛🩷 🄰🄱🄾🅄🅃 🄼🄾🄸 🦋🌀🩵
Last updated: 11/5/2024
Just a lil bio thing to get to know me a bit better if you’re interested 🫶🏾🩷!!!
▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||။၊|။• Hey…is this thing on…?
★ I’m Jamaican and African (not specifying which country in Africa tho eheh) 🖤❤️💛💚 ☾ My height is 5'4 and a half 😬👍🏾… ♬ I play the piano, clarinet, flute and drums ✧ My top three favorite YouTubers are CoryxKenshin, Welchy and MyFroggyStuff
★ I have AuDHD (Autism and ADHD) so my apologies if I ramble a ton or not understand something right away 🤫🧏🏾♀️
☾ I have trust issues (ESP on this site) so I’m sorry if when we first interact I seem cold or uninterested 😞…
♬ Once we’ve formed a bond and established friendship, with consent it’s 101% okay to tickle tease me or ask for tickles 🫶🏾💕
✧ Some of my character kinnies are Charlie Brown, Rise Leo, Luz Noceda, Miles Morales, Gratuity 'Tip' Tucci, Lloyd Garmadon, D-16, Moana Waialiki, Ice Bear, Mirabel Madrigal, Hinata Shoyo, and Reki Kyan…just to name a few…
★ 💞PHYSICAL💖AFFECTION💓IS💕MY💝LOVE💗LANGUAGE💘
☾ I am a very blunt and honest person— so if something is up I’ll just be upfront about it
♬ Deathly ticklish fucking everywhere but coUGhs we don’t talk about that ✧ Sadly a people pleaser 🌝… ★ 🦉A night owl🦉 and an 🐦🔥early bird🐦🔥 (don’t ask…) ☾ I do make vent posts from time to time so just ignore those 😫🥀💔⛓️🖤 ♬ I have a HUGE softspot for childhood cartoons 🥹🙏🏾💞💕
✧ I play/compete in 🏐volleyball🏐 and 🏃🏾♀️track🏃🏾♀️
★ 🎶A🎤PROUD🎵THEATER🎧KIIIIIIDDDDD🎼
☾ My blog is nowhere near organized and probably never will be…
♬ Mr. Grouper’s #1 fan 🤵🏾♀️💍🍤
(WILL BE UPDATED WHEN I THINK OF MORE THINGS TO ADD…)
𓆝 𓆟 MY HOMIES AKA MY CLOSE MUTUAL’S 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞
@itzsana-kiddingmenow @shut-up-jo @rice-cake-teen10
@ziipzeepzop-eez @little-bat09
That’s it!!! Thank you for reading 🫶🏾!!!
#That was a Sid the Science Kid reference if you didn’t pick up on it 🤪🫶🏾#Emery’s rambles#About me!#Mootie patooties ♡#Emery ♡#I HOPE I DON’T OFFEND ANY OF MY OTHER MUTUAL’S WITH THE “CLOSE MUTUALS” THING THOUGH…#It’s nothing personal I swear I’ve just known these people for like almost 2 years now or we talk legit everyday or they’ve been with me th#<- ough hard times!#💓💕💝💗💖💞🩷#Will def add on to that YAY!!!#WILL be updated I swear this looks so freaking boring HEEELLPPP#I am always open to making new friends so feel free to come say hi :3
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Stealing this image from twitter and bringing it over here, because holy shit, some of the clowns I have been seeing talk about the game lately.
#Novice Network is a toxic waste pit right now#filled to the brim with returners who think they’re hot shit talking about ‘If Square really thought a cutscene was important they would hav#e put voice acting in it’ and other shit like that#‘I just skip all non voiced because the voiced cutscenes recap all that boring shit anyway”’#no they don’t???#Is THIS what a new Expac brings out?#because it’s genuinely dreadful#do you even enjoy the game at that point? Complain about fetch quests complain about the dialogue complain about the writing quality#why not just go play a game you like???#It’s getting to the point where I just have my chat log closed most of the time#not leaving NN because it WAS really nice during the post-Endwalker patch cycle#when mostly only people who actually liked the game (????) were still playing.#but the amount of toxic attitude returners I’ve seen in there lately is disheartening.#I hope it’ll come back down in the following weeks#once they’ve burnt through Dawntrail and decided the game doesn’t have anything for them#and they’ve sufficiently wasted their time#instead of just… taking it slow and taking in the world and the sights and the story……..#I’ve heard that Dawntrail is basically ARR 2. Which. big if true.#Because we could use that.#A return to form#with the new systems and developments in the game#bringing the story back down a little bit and reining it in#I am VERY excited to get there some day.#but I know that these people I’m bitching and moaning about aren’t thrilled#(honestly that just makes me like it more)#Anyway#point is#if you’re playing a game why the hell aren’t you engaging with said game?#What’s the point of skipping to the end as fast as possible only to get annoyed when there’s no more content?#This is exactly the problem that I’ve heard ex-WoW players complain about with regards to their player base
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What are you hoping for birthday wise? 🤔
honestly I wasn't planning on making it this far!!! but as it is, I'd probably ask Birthday Santa to bring me a new mattress
#or plane tickets.#that bitch owes me one tbh I'm making a DEPRESSION in the middle of this thing I need to get a new one#I don't generally have Birthday Wishes but if I did. there's nail polish and earrings I've been avoiding buying. as far as PLANS for the da#I'm just hoping to Relax!! idk I am a boring lass!#I usually order indian food and watch ghostbusters or something like that lol#sergle answers
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y'all look at this
#save#i was bored and like the respectable silly that i am i decided to play with the bored button site#they added some new stuff since the last time i used it#this site isn't one of the new things-#but it's now that i find it interesting#(15 years old Miru was such a LOSER for not finding the silly site intriguing. shame on her-)#anyway. yeagh#hope y'all have fun scrolling like i did teehehe#there are many benefits to being a marine biologist#btw.
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me vs the urge to start a vlogging channel in an attempt to romanticize my 20s 🥲
#12 am thoughts ksjdkdls#the panoramic (iykyk) made me feel like i missed out on so much#in terms of opportunities and chances to put myself out there#and it felt so isolating and i dont feel like i got that uni experience#also me thinking that it could be good source of extra income#this job hunt made me realize that oooof- 🥲 earning money is hard#but also im boring so those vlogs arent going to be very interesting anyways#anyways heres hoping my employed era happens and goes well#mostly so i can fuel to the eldest daughter in a filipino household desire to heal my inner child#through hyperfixations 🤪🤪🤪#ANYWAYS lots of new updates this week hope you’ve been enjoying the#themmmm#if you actually read all this ily#reese rambles
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💭
#im having a little existential crisis now :/#im tired of being treated like and idiot and like I’m always in the way or an annoyance#whenever I’m trying to be more laidback or I try to be more assertive#- because i feel like im not being listened to it’s all still an annoyance#im tired of how automatic it is now for me to try to speak in a light ’funny’ way and how I’m treated when I’m always trying to be kind or-#nice#in general i dont like the way that i am :/ doesn’t feel like the real me just what I became so people can be nice to me in return#but I always feel like an idiot#I hope that with the new year or starting these last couple of weeks I can start being different#start acting like something more like what I feel is me or just more genuine#not driven by desperation for people pleasing or trying to not be boring and stuff#even tho I feel awful I still have hope for myself in the future and that’s a good thing I guess :)#online diary
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could you elaborate on the canon thing irt mythology? i don't disagree, i would just love to hear what you think
hello! just a preface before i get into it, i'm not in this field at all as a student or professional so i'd take my own words with a grain of salt. if im getting anything wrong please do let me know!!!
im linking two posts i think are relevant by:
@/thoodledoo and @/what-even-is-thiss
and let's get on! the problem with saying something is an 'original' is that more often than not, you're going to be wrong about that. i get it! there are a number of retellings i don't like either, which narrate stories i care little for, but consider that myth is often a reflection of society and culture. people then and now ascribe stories to phenomenons and events to make sense of the world. like,
persephone's tale gives a mythological reason to why we have the change of seasons. now, imagine i said "in the original myth, persephone was an unwilling captive".
one, what myth am i saying is the "origin"? hesiod, because he was one of (if not) the first to write it down? do you see the problem here? does 'original' just mean the first instance of recording?
and then, two, does it make every adaptation of persephone's myth that came after that something 'fake'? are you going to beef with ovid for changing your 'original myth'?
it's absolutely alright (and id say encouraged!) to critique adaptations and retellings. this, however, should be done with the understanding that changing a myth isn't the crucial factor here - it's how it affects and reflects on us in this time. an example,
your reaction to a medusa retelling could be less "but in the original she wasn't a victim of rape! this is taking away from her girlbossness!", because what is the original??, and more "how does her backstory, given to her by this author, affect her character and how [x group of people] are represented in media" (or something like that).
essentially, like any other literature, how does this one impact anyone and anything at all?
back to homer, a lot of the time (i find) when someone says something like 'originally odysseus was assaulted by calypso' is that they mean a very specific source of myth - i.e. the odyssey. oral myth tradition predates written work by centuries. just because homer (not even sure about this, actually) wrote it down first, does not mean he is your og!! the odysseus in homer's two works don't even sound like the same person!
like hi! i love homer! but let's not pretend he was mr "came up with every myth about the trojan war under the sun".
making very obvious my point here, my critic of a book, like say, the song of achilles, isnt that madeline miller failed to copy the iliad plot for plot. it's fine that she changed it! in fact, it's great! it's a myth! it changes with time anyway! my critic is that girl you made patroclus literally the boringest blandest boy ever good god, (only sort of joking)
tldr; there is no real mythological canon. clarify, make it clear and say 'in homer's iliad' or something if you need to. don't brush a story off just because it doesn't fit within the version of the myth you know. and don't cheapen your criticism by saying it isn't original.
#ive used up all six braincells i have on a good day#also this is a very boring spoken of again and again regurgitated nonstop topic i am not adding anything new to this line of discussion#asks#greek mythology#homer#iliad#odyssey#i hope i am not making a FOOL of myself here#i feel crazy beefing with euripides for how he wrote menelaus. like homer menelaus ate. euripides menelaus??? is he any less myth though.
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i hate that this website has location based ads now like it's one thing to promote the local grocery store chain to me but i am seeing ads for my workplace now :/
#stop it......#i don't want to go back but this is the last sick day i can reasonably take#i probably should've gone back today but i told them when i was still feeling worse that i wasn't coming in.......#ohhhh i dread going in tomorrow so much. i don't even dislike this job i just hate being somewhere everyday#each day feeling its meaninglessness...... my meaninglessness in the space.......... the repetition and redundancy#selling people who don't need to be there things that they don't need#standing all day long just fucking bored#hoping that enough has happened since i've been gone that people can fill me in#ugggh because it's soooo boring but stressful to have to generate conversation with the same people every day#when nothing new ever happens#and i get sick of everybody even the people that i like and i don't really think anybody likes me that much either#i guess i felt this when i worked there part time but because i only had to be there part time it wasn't this constant gnawing feeling#and they didn't have me in the shop all the time....... this schedule is fucking killing me#i walk there i stand all day and i walk home#that's one of the reasons i haven't come back in yet - i was so dizzy and nauseous that the idea of standing all day was like.#i obviously can't fucking do that even if i would otherwise feel well enough to come in#if i had a sitting job then it wouldn't matter if i was a little dizzy#but getting back and forth to work and then standing for 8 hours. even when i'm feeling well it's kind of a lot#idk i guess i'm pretty unhappy with this job and where i am in life etc but i can't quit rn because what else would i do#there's literally job of this type that is going to pay as well and have good benefits#and i'm not qualified yet for the type of work i hope to do in the future#so i just gotta wait it out but it feels like. endless.#sigh anyway i'm just lazy lol#all this is to say. stop putting ads for my workplace on my dash lol i don't need to see all that
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Chica y moondrop
#anyway#after this animation is finished#most likely won’t post any more dca stuff#or fnaf#idk got bored ig and they aren’t as much fun to draw as they use to be#just going to lurk#I am going to be a lurker nowww#or until my favorite dca fanfics update#or a new game comes out#whichever ones come first#I really haven’t felt any motivation since December but I just want to finish something for once regardless if I’m#feeling motivated for the characters#have one more dca animation in mind but I mean…#most likely no#there is just nothing keeping me interested sry#of course this could change and I could feel a sudden burst of energy to draw them again#or I could be radio silence for a few months#still I just want to see the pretty pictures everyone else draws so I will lurk regardless#ok that’s all I want to say have a good day#hope all 6 of my followers see this lol
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I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS
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#this has been happening for like TWO YEARS BUT I SWEAR TO GOD I AM TRYING.#my usual art motivation (my webcomic idea) has been put on hold for a bit and because of that i forgort... everything#my will to draw specifically#but in my defense i have been writing k*arlach / oc indulgences and i've been VERY focused on finishing it#i also got a marketing manager (my friend <3) to help with advertising my comms and stuff so uh... look forward 2 that#i might need to start posting all of my art on a sideblog so she doesn't have to log into my main though#so there might be some changes#but i promise i want to do art!!!! but there's always something to do first and then months pass :(#or i get the urge to draw and then life is like ''have a cancer scare'' lmao...#(ended up being cancerous actually </3 but because it's skin stuff it was easy to remove)#(but that really took the piss out of me for most of july... not to mention that ffxiv released a new expansion and i have been...#having a good time with my new friends doing content and stuff!) i also made a friend irl after like 3-4 years of total isolation#we feed ants and watch them move around together and comment on their behaviour patterns...#but like when i say this takes literal hours.#we just sit out there and talk about random shit and watch ants walk across the floor. both of us hate ants btw.#like we don't like having them ON us so it's a bit like playing with fire.#but anyways yeah i've also been really low energy recently too bc of the heat and burnout from college...#but the good news is that i'm transferring in fall to a much more relaxing college & courseload!#i'm hoping it'll stop me from feeling so... awful ?? i guess ??#like i was taking classes i didn't need to that were really difficult & punishing#not to mention extremely boring & hard to pay attention to when dealing with literally anything. i did not want to be there.#my next college is much more interest-oriented so i will finally be able to take classes i want to and learn from them...!#and then maybe i will feel a bit more in control of my life / more encouraged to draw#anyways thank u for reading my ramble. hoping it all comes together soon.#i need to do a lot of work but most of it is so i can sell commissions again#but once the karlach fic is done we're so back on the webcomic train !!!!!!!!
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the new fairly odd parents they're making just makes me remember fairly odd parents: fairly odder happening in 2022. wild that series was removed from everything less than a year after it was released and now you have to pirate it to watch it
#rambles#not jojo related#i remember my friends and i watched fairly odder (it was not good. i got bored an episode in and they watched the rest)#it's still scummy how streaming services just remove shit now and make things lost media#as dry and soulless and unpopular as any production can get#my honest opinion is that we reaaally don't need a new fop and the series got ran bone dry years ago#i wish we would get more new stuff instead of just adapting old stuff again and again and again like whats been going on for a while now#but who knows maybe it'll be good i've seen some people be hopeful about it#was never a big fan of fop as a kid personally even before people started saying it suffered from seasonal rot#so you know my opinions don't matter a whole ton#i'll admit i am a little interested in nicktoons lol i just enjoy talking about cartoons in general
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people interacting w wgoin in my notes... this would be a rly bad time to say all my writing will probably be on hiatus for the indefinite future huh
#not like it makes a practical difference considering i only upload twice a year at best#but im realising how much my writing is shame motivated and its just not sustainable or healthy#it saddens me that these stories i invested So much time and effort into will probably never get finished#i wanna hold out hope that they will but#i dont want anyones expectations to be too high#bc knowing myself they probably wont#i started wgoin thinking that this would be the story i commit to finishing and not just abandon as soon as i get bored#but that was before i had really realised how my brain works#and for a while writing these chapters have felt very forced#gbgb had a much better run till it crashed and i was just unable to pick it back up#tbh that one could potentially still be saved bc of how open ended it is if i get any inspo for it back whatsoever#bc it had no strict plan i was entirely making it up as i go#and im realising thats how i write best. i tried to plan wgoin so id commit to finishing it but im realising that has the opposite effect#if i plan anything too thoroughly writing it becomes like gnawing on lead#cause i got all the dopamine out of the idea already#i write best when i have nothing but a vague idea or a vibe#gbgb crashed bc i ran out of vibes and ideas but if i find any again who knows#there is the possibility where i scrap the plan i had for wgoins entire plot and make the rest up as i go#which i might try purely bc i love the story sm#and i think i enjoyed writing it most back in the first three parts where i Was making it up as i went#which is why im saying indefinite hiatus instead of discontinued#bc there is hope for them. just not. much#so if u stick around maybe follow me on ao3 if u dont wanna see all my posts n just my stories#maybe in 3 years time youll see another wgoin notif or sumn#sorry to the small but dedicated handful of readers who really loved these fics#i wanted to write more for you guys bc ik its hard to find this kinda fic anywhere else; its why i started writing it#but i am but one unmedicated autist w severe adhd. we r working on the unmedicated part tho#ive learned so much abt how my brain functions now n how to make the most of it tho#i told myself id finish any new writing before i post it. so know anything new Will be complete :3#mischiefing time
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