#am i allowed to rant here???
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the level at which people are misusing the term "Never Again" in the far left absolutely infuriates me.
"Never Again" doesn't refer to the idea of no more genocides -- unfortunately people are evil and corrupt and seek scapegoats and destruction, there were genocides in the years following the Holocaust, there were genocides 10 years ago, there are multiple genocides going on as we speak
"Never Again" means we as Jews will pay attention to the warning signs, will not mindlessly allow antisemitism to fester and take over our communities, we will fight back. it means we will be proud. it means we will not let you hate us without a word of refusal.
"Never Again" is a warning for us, it is a reminder that what happened then can happen now -- is happening now. The Far Left doesn't get to use it against us. You don't get to turn our tragedies into hate-speech and antisemitic rhetoric.
Am Yisrael Chai
#abby speaks#that fucking NYT article made me rage so much#needed to get this out#if this somehow makes you pissed at me go ahead the unfollow button is right there#I have always said that Palestinians deserve a state and I have always believed that Israel has a right to exist#the lack of knowledge at these “protests” shocks me - people don't know which river or which sea; they don't know about the hostages#free gaza from hamas#we are allowed to mourn the “protests” started before we'd even had a chance to.#I will never ever forgive or forget the people that have made mourning still feel impossible#I am not about to sit here and say that the Israeli government is blameless#however if you didn't know that 1000s of Israeli have spent the past year protesting against Netenyahu's right wing government shut up#we need actual solutions; neither Israelis nor Palestinians are going anywhere#and you guys need to start calling out the antisemitism in your movement#I have my doubts on that actually happening and you'll never see me donate to a lot of these causes again#the goy left has lost my respect and my trust and now it only has my side-eye#sorry for the rant in the tags it's been an exhausting few months
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Y’all can like Eurylochus without dragging Polites down by the way, in case y’all need a reminder.
I genuinely don’t understand why a lot of y’all are dead set on dragging Polites through the mud just to try and make Eurylochus look like a better character. Just say that you like Eurylochus’ character better and that you wish he was appreciated more by the fandom as a whole.
#I promised myself I would stop ranting#but here we are#polites epic the musical#eurylochus epic the muscial#tagging the fandom tags this time cause why not#also yes I am aware and fully support people having their own opinions on these characters#though I am also allowed to state my opinions and how I think a lot of y’all just want to blame one character for the actions of another#I’m tired of the hate either of these characters receive as someone who is a fan of both#it’s really tiring#you can like Eurylochus and wish he got more love in the fandom without making Polites look like this idiot who knows nothing#no polites is not the root of all problems and neither is eurylochus
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The past couple days online have been... interesting. I consider myself a leftist, think capitalism is corrupt, and think that it needs to be seriously reformed/overthrown. I admit that while I've thrown around phrases and terms like "burn it all down" and "the revolution needs to come" out of frustration without actually thinking about what a revolution entails: excellent organization, unity, and strategy to defeat the United States, the world's largest military superpower which has inflicted political and social destabilization across the majority of countries around the world. There also needs to be superb infrastructure and community to support the disabled, elderly, and poor populations who rely on government assistance and programs, healthcare, and accommodations while this so-called revolution rages on.
All I've received from the far leftist movement are lectures from condescending intellectuals who rattle off academic citations regarding ideological theory rather than practical, tangible steps to advocate for change in our local and regional communities. I have not seen one of them actually discuss conversations they've had with their friends, family, or Americans about what they want to see reflected for the future of the country. I have not seen one of them discussed how destructive, detrimental and traumatic a Trump presidency was for social prejudice and morale in the United States. I understand that for many marginalized groups they've been living in a facist state for centuries so the possibility Project 2025 doesn't galvanize them to see the two parties differently, but I don't think it is fair to white leftists falsely equivocate the election of both parties for the entire American population at all??? Or like at least specify the issues you're referring to in which you view both parties as the same????? Literally one TikTok creator who I used to follow talked about how true leftists are so much better than liberals because they aren't waiting for a presidential candidate to save the world NOW due to the accelerated apocalypse due to climate change but when asked how to change the world they suggest sharing ideas of your future utopia with other leftist groups. How the fuck is sitting around talking about living in a walkable community is great considered "saving the world now"? How are you going to dismantle and restructure American infrastructure to create these communities? How are you going to remove existing racial and social tensions to create a community where everyone lives happily side by side? Do people not consider reality at all?????
And is it not wrong for people to have a fucking sliver of optimism and hope at incremental change that's achieved within the corrupt bipartisan system of American politics, even if they know it's propaganda??? Is it wrong for people to have a singular fucking moment of relief in feeling like their values, beliefs, and lives will be better protected and THEY can advocate for change better??? Is it wrong when there's a couple months until the most pressing election in recent history for people to make the choice they feel will reduce the most amount of harm???
#literally i've seen some leftists post like the people in the us could never handle the torture that the us inflicts in other countries#like seriously what the actual fuck do you not think most people are struggling here and dying of preventable diseases and being subjected#to hate crimes mental health crisis systemic racism sexism etc.#why the fuck arent you actually helping your community and helping them see how foreign and domestic policy are tied instead of screaming#like so much of this virtue signaling and not being grounded in reality drives me crazy#and im fucking tired of not being allowed to feel happiness about anything unless it's morally socially perfect how the fuck are we suppose#to move the needle if we never fucking feel happy????? like what after your disorganized revolution the way your room is disorganized i can#be happy that i live in a perfect utopia?? NO! that's not how the fucking world works get a grip#i never believed in working within the system but at least other more reasonable leftists have offered tangible solutions to sway politicia#in our favor and retain a little bit of our rights#like this one woman was saying union organizers align themselves with democrats strategically not because they agree with the party but#so that democrats will count on their vote and money and in turn advocate for union rights#like i feel like a far leftist would be like omg how dare you align with the democrats!!! but like honey!!! what the fuck are we supposed t#do??? stick our fucking nose up at the current political system unless we get everything we want to move the party further to the right and#then wake up one day and realize because we were waiting for a perfect system all our fucking rights are gone?????#bffr#i know i am going to lose all of my followers for this post#grace rants#politics#donald trump#kamala harris#joe biden#jd vance#project 2025#2024 elections#also to be clear this is what i feel right now because of the delayed discussion of far-leftism and options and campaigning for candidates#if leftists actually get together and UNIFY and fucking do something i'll consider inching forward to the revolution#but screaming the system is corrupt without giving people solutions or action steps and just giving them severe anxiety is unhelpful
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Gonna make a list of queer characters that don’t outright state their queerness because a certain group of people complaining about the handling of a certain character’s arc from a certain game is pissing me off
“They didn’t make her say she was trans so that means that they’re giving us a ‘fuck you’/we need confirmation or it isn’t valid and transphobes will be transphobic/they’re queerbaiting!”
Shut the fuck up
The fact that we’re even at this point is a miracle in itself and needing every character to explicitly say their orientation and/or gender identity shows how ignorant you are, not just regarding media literacy, but also on queer history
By your myopic lens you’re discrediting a lot of queer characters that didn’t and/or couldn’t outright say that they’re queer
Characters shouldn’t have to outright say their orientation and/or gender identity for you to consider them “good rep”
That perspective is ridiculously narrow minded and downplays the importance of previous queer characters that helped pave the way to where we are now
Update: Here it is!
#*add in obligatory “I AM TRANS” here*#I’m so fucking tired#for fuck's sake as I'm writing this japan STILL doesn't allow same sex marriages! this shit is very much still progressive!#and I KNOW it’s a bunch of kids saying these things due to how popular the game is with kids#(and because these people are always talking about school)#which makes me even more annoyed. these kids aren't fully grasping what they're talking about.#this is just in general but: YOU DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING. I DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING. YOU NEED TO ACCEPT THAT#‘let’s downplay the important things that these characters did for our community because they didn’t outright state what they were 😃’#it feels like I’m stuck with a bunch of lily orchards 😭#god if she ever finds out about this game and this character’s arc…#I am going to make the list but I’ll have to scan through a lot of transcripts and such to do so. so it’ll take a while 😅#I wonder what these guys would think about the cops from [POPULAR DISNEY CARTOON WITH THE TRIANGLE TUMBLR SEXYMAN]#lgbtq#queer#queer representation#fandom discourse#(… I guess!)#rant#personal#edit: holy shit lily just said that ‘subtext isn’t enough’ when it comes to lgbtq representation#I hit the nail on the head 😭#mint mumbles
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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you know 99% of the time i get nice, totally reasonable, polite, and frequently kind asks on bearotonin. but every now and then i get some asks that just make me wanna reply snarkily so badly lmao
#the weird shit people send me#like unsolicited 'helpful suggestions' about how to run my blog better#or 'concerns' about the way i run it or some of the photos i post#and it takes a significant amount of self control not to be snarky#because i am not allowed to break brand continuity#but like#people really gotta learn that it's not cute or helpful to come into a stranger's inbox and critique/suggest they run their blog differentl#and i get that most of these (admittedly not that many but still frequent enough) asks are probably not meant to be obnoxious#like i'm sure the person who sent them doesn't have bad intentions#and probably just doesn't realize what they're doing is irritating and a basic etiquette no no#but it's still annoying#sometimes people just gotta learn to keep their opinions to themselves#not every opinion should be shared#just being clear 99.9% of the many asks i get are totally fine and nice#but because i get a fuckload of asks the 0.1% of annoying asks i get is substantial enough to get annoying and tiresome#don't mind me im just vague post venting here as a stress relief so i don't reply snarkily on bearotonin#okay im done ranting now#please ignore me lmao#Posts about bearotonin
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Autism Mood of The Day
Being so frustrated about every little thing and crying because you don't know how to express your emotions.
So then you end up crying in front of your parents and make them uncomfortable/feel frustrated cause they don't know why you're crying "ItS nOt ThAt BiG oF a DeAl" or they don't know how to help
#We're struggling out here#Can't believe it's only fucking Wednesday#I'm so fed up#With this week with the shit I've been working on this week#Fun story y'all#My older sister's old room has been my room for over a year now#We are just now getting to the point of getting her shit out of it#I still have not properly moved into my own damn room in a year#So I think it's safe to say I should be allowed to cry over this but for some reason I don't think I am?#fucking hate this#Autism rant#Autistic mood#autistic things#Autistic adult#Autistic problems#actually autistic
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My dad was having those little post lunch chats with my siblings (I got up to do the dishes by then), and the topic of con artists came up. My dad spoke about watching a snippet from a movie where the fox was a con artist, and used to sell ice pops. I didn't even let him finish, I heard enough. I invited myself into the conversation, and had a ten minute long detailed rant about Zootopia's plot; this was the opportunity of a lifetime, I had this rant ready since I was ten. The last time I did something like this was when I read the first harry potter book as an eleven year old, it took me a two hour long car ride to give a very detailed rundown with all the small details to my dad. My siblings kept begging me to shut up because this was giving them second hand embarrassment, but Tumblr taught me that cringe culture was dead, and I seriously needed to let my dad know that however unjustified the villain's actions were, her anger was very fair. Girl was treated like crap by everyone, ignored, underestimated, overworked, and underappreciated, so her pent up hatred was on sight; she seemed like a genuinely nice person, and as they say, no one is born evil. I actually kinda believed that Judy was lucky that the assistant mayor did this, or else she would've suffered similarly until she was either fired for her behaviour or quite of her own accord.
I kept talking until my dad had to get up, because he had some work to attend to. He smiled at me, and gave me a hug, he always tells me he misses me telling him about my interests, so I might consider ranting about no longer human to my dad once I finish it. I want more hugs don't judge me.
#I am unstoppable once you allow me to rant about anything I have a strong opinion on#zootopia#saff ron tag#ramble#I got a little excited there and dropped a portion of the rant here lmao
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Oh. That’s a post about eugenics going around in my twitter timeline
#coda’s rambles#its a post from someone in my country. its so disheartening??#more rant in tags >>#they can vent out their frustrations WITHOUT the ‘disabled people shouldn’t be allowed to live’ yk…#no literally their post was talking about how there should be a law that allows parents to abort a disabled child (abortion is illegal here#with exceptions. and they want a disabled child to be one of the exceptions)#‘they bring nothing to society and are only a burden to the people around them’ DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF??#i am NOT exaggerating by the way they straight up said those things#ableism
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I like to say I’m okay with my interests having very small/pretty non existent fandoms because that means no stupid drama even if I wish the things I liked were more acknowledged, it’s better to take them in a vacuum then mainstream cause some of the stuff I like if it got bigger would be more mixed, possibly even controversial-
and I still stay true to that but I also remember how my interests could’ve been decently popular yet all of them got screwed over in some fucking capacity somehow regardless if that was intentional or not and I low key get a little mad.
LIKE JUST AS A POINT OF REFERENCE (I’m listing these all in chronological release order):
Big O: flopped in Japan but when it was brought over to the states it apparently did well enough to get a season 2, but cn were fucking stupid and aired the second season on adult swim rather then its original home network toonami, which is likely why it fell into obscurity when it could’ve been up there with other old animes if people saw the entire thing because a lot of anime popular from toonami are remembered
Kikaiders anime: Was like only popular in Hawaii but the anime was dubbed and aired on adult swim- only problem is they gave it a 12:30 am time slot and even if it first aired in summer a lot of people probably skipped out on it- also I have a hunch that even tho big o on adult swim definitely got less traction it and kikaider afaik aired around the same time, and big o time slot came first. People if they did know big o got moved probably only watched adult swim for that then shut off the tv for kikaider, which further shows putting big o on adult swim was not a good idea. (Oh and the fact this was a anime reboot for a toku even if it was somewhat more accurate to the manga probably didn’t help the reception in Japan, next to how little interest there seemed to be for it given it was so short)
Shin Jeeg: Literally flopped so hard in Japan that it wasn’t even considered getting a dub besides Thailand and Italy, Italy being the only place Jeeg is fucking remembered. It’s no wonder this one probably the most forgotten among my interests despite being a dynapro mech and a reboot directed by fuckinv Kawagoe.
Casshern Sins: I have zero clue what japans reception of it was but probably not high when it’s “an edgy reboot”. As for the west it did got aired on toonami and is LITERALLY the only anime I like that is legally watchable on crunchyroll but it became forgotten cause it aired on toonami when people stopped caring for it, and crunchyroll only tends to show what’s popular so you’d only find this show from really digging.
Getter the only thing I’m not listing here next to it’s still decently remembered-big o is too, but at the same time it goes under a lot of mecha fans radars-but also cause I’m perfectly accepting of “the times it aired on tv it was super old and only part of it got dubbed, then the rest of it were ovas before not getting anime content for fucking years” like that’s a fair reason to be forgotten- but everything else just feels like I’m cursed 💀 (and I wonder how the cycle will continue when I gain yet another old anime robot interest because it will happen- eventually)
#meg text#I will say rn I’m ranting to rant because my life ahah hasn’t been well but I’m not going into it here#but I was talking to my friend last night who likes some of the stuff I like + other niche things and yeah it’s a curse#because you either have niche but it still has a decently large fanbase it’s just not popular#or you have fucking dead ass fandoms that can it even be considered a fandom? Who fucking knows#legit I try not to care about liking stuff with dead fandoms because I like it and that’s what matters but man when it happens constantly#will I ever go into bigger fandoms? Fuck no. Am I still allowed to be a little annoyed? A bit.#I’m not gonna bother trying to get people interested cause I know it doesn’t work most of the time especially when your pushy#I don’t like people being pushy with me anyways so it be hypocritical#also if anyone knows about reception shit with any of these lmk id love to hear cause some idk shit#even though I didn’t tag fandoms but that’s mainly cause they don’t need to see this 💀#I think this shit is why I also feel inclined to get into mecha that’s like- more known rather then the forgotten ones#like dawg I love to embody a true mecha fan of knowing random 70s show with a awful title but I can’t take this shit anymore
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I wasn't going to make a post about it because I am a firm believer in simply not engaging with people who have rancid shit takes on the internet and just moving past it but it's been like the fourth tweet I've seen today clearly taking the Nosferatu (2024) film at face value and then blaming people who interpret it differently (see: not taking the themes and motifs depicted in the film as per our modern, non-fictional, dare I say even bordering on puritan standard of what constitutes "good" media and "good" representation) and I'm just sooo tired of it all.
The amount of people agreeing that it's a movie that depicts certain themes "wrongly" is sooo exhausting. It's gothic (technically romantic, actually). It's horror. It's not meant to be therapy speech healthy tropes and sunshine.
It has MANY different readings that you can take away from it. Not just the one "this is what This Movie means," because the themes and topics and motifs or whatever the fuck you want to call them are many, and some of them can coexist. And some may even be opposites! And that's ok because for one, it's fiction. And for another, the Vampire as a monster, as a concept, is a thing that has existed for CENTURIES and has come to mean many a thing. And at this point I'm just rambling with no point or purpose but. It just pisses me off how close-minded the general public is to any piece of media that is no longer clear cut and adamant about what it depicts and what that depiction entails.
When the gothic and the horror are PRECISELY the genres that are most detached from clear cut and easy to comprehend. And they are NOT supposed to be happy and healthy and rainbows! Because the romantic and the gothic are supposed to be about exploration! What it means to be human! What is a monster! There's so much to talk about I'm just... So I've come to the website with the mentally ill homosexuals and transgenders in search of community.
(And I did like the movie a lot, actually)
#not allowing reblogs on this because i'm terrified after the rancid ass illiterate takes i've seen on twitter#not even gonna mention what they are i am afraid for my life here#this is just me ranting it's ok i'll move on#romantic literature is literally my specialty in academia so i just. hate when people talk about it and they are. wrong!#yeah yeah different takes different reads i mean that's what i'm saying! but there's always people who are like#'the movie meant THIS and if you didn't see it then you don't have media litera#literacy* good god.#and i'm just. you know. seething a little as i write my silly little papers#personal#posting this entirely on my own btw i don't KNOW what the other two mods think about this but they have also watched the film#so hopefully the will support my stance#anyway this take is approved by only a third of victorfrankensteinsuggestions and as such#if anyone wants to complain i will take full responsibility. but also i will thiink that perhaps you are a little stupid
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i will never forget the time I was hanging out with two other people who were new friends and they were like "let's do a sonic fandub" and one of them started looking up sonic game footage on youtube for us to dub while we discussed who would speak for who and we decided I'd voice tails. But also I knew nothing about sonic at the time, i'd only seen the snapcube fandubs because I'd heard they were good and funny, I didn't know the plot or characters very well. I couldn't remember what they sounded like so while the other two started to say silly things in sonic and amy's voices I asked "what does tails sound like again?" And I was laughing because I was embarrassed and also shocked by how quickly they had started commiting to the bit of trying to do some voice acting and my friend just said "he sounds like a twink" and I could not stop laughing and I could not take the idea seriously and I just told them that I couldn't do the voice oops. And so we moved onto a different topic pretty quickly and just enjoyed the pizza we had while we waited for our other three friends to get back from the store
anyways all of this is to say that Tails is NOT a twink, he is an 8 year old little boy and my friend was misguided.
#Can you tell that I'm mentally unwell and also that I had a falling out with these friends and also that I miss them dearly#I actually went to see the sonic 3 movie today on christmas day and I saw a group of people that I know- one guy in the group was one of#The three that was at the store while we were doing the dub. I had a falling out with all five of those friends after that.#That day was really great. It was like a year ago now. I feel like that was the first time where I was really vulnerable with friends#And I had never been so honest about my interests and thoughts before with a group of people and it. It was nice. But after that day it...#I think it was all my fault. Or at least mostly my fault. I was honest with them but no one else#So I couldn't accept the truth of myself and I wasn't ready for everyone i know to know me that way so I tried to hide it and ignore it#And in doing so I stopped being honest with them and I started avoiding them. And I regret it. I could have just been a weirdo with them#I could have spent every tuesday afternoon hanging out and talking about life with them over pizza. But instead I ran away.#And of course they kept asking about me and wondering why I was being weird but I couldn't face it. And I kept running away#And they kept trying to chase after me. I even left for like two months and completely went no contact and no explanation#But then I came back because I had nowhere else to go and it... it was so awkward. It was too much. And now I'm overthinking#everything. I was so jealous of them. All of them. And when I got to be friend with them it was too much for me. My brain couldn't accept i#I'm not allowed to be happy unless it's in secret. That's what my brain thinks#That's the mantra I've been living by recently. For like the past 3-5 years. That's just how I was raised I suppose#Um. Oops I ranted too much in the tags. Sorry if you read all of this. But also thank you if you did. I hope you're well#Rant in tags#rant#personal#Why is this literally just my journal. Goodness gracious#I'm so sorry. Everything I post here is like completely dumb and irrelevant and stupid and pointless and matters very little.#I am just mentally unwell and I can barely think clearly. I am sorry. I hope you look elsewhere for actually important or meaningful words#Dang I just had a dramatic soundtrack melody start playing in my head but I have no idea where this song is from or what it's called. Damn
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Do you guys ever go outside or just look at nature and tell when things ™️ Spawned In ??? Because it’s happened to me twice…
#rants n rambles#also I’m not allowed to post up here for mental health reasons#completely unrelated.#but like you can go outside or either look at certain things that you’re familiar with in your neighborhood and tell it wasn’t there before#and I’m not talking about random human made inanimate objects im talking about stuff like trees#like I just looked outside and I could these four or five trees haven’t been here and now they look weird#and this has happened before (comma) just the other day ago my tree in my backyard looked funny#I can tell the difference girl I’m not silly 😭#whichu think I am? 5?
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i just did an interview for something really important and i think it was hot garbage and im so scared . ive been looking forward to this for . 2 years now . fuck my life .
my mind is pliable rn so im going to fake myself into thinking it was all really good
#rant#arhg#scared and filled with anxiety#okay here are my POSITIVE THOUGHTS.#evberything goes my way and nothing can go wrong in life#i have worked so hard and put in so much effort#the universe will grant me the best option#i infuse the world with so much joy and laughter#the jury loves me and will be nice to me#i did NOT fumble the interview. i did so well and i presented myself clearly#my camera and mic not working did NOT set me back 1082939 paces#it did NOT make me panic and worry for my life and sanity#i am so knowledgable of the topics and they are so happy they allowed me to do the interview
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Just been in a daydreaming mood and I ended up accidentally making a pretty neat AU for my dearest sons, Alec and Ray. But now that I'm writing it all down, my brain suddenly came into a screeching halt as I got into the deep philosophies of it and I'm like: hwat--
#aria rants#ariaoc#i aint forgetting that tag no more! hopefully... but anyway the au is just a silly lil thing where alec gets immortality adjacent powers#with some neat lil bonuses and stuff. gist of it is i really liked owen and his missing heart concept so ive been toying with that idea too#where in this silly lil au for my ocs. ray died but alec aint having it so he gave his own heart to ray which allows ray to continue living#but now alecs life is tied to ray. so if ray dies alec dies as well. anyway the lil philosophical tidbit here is that yk how you can be#influenced by the ppl you spend the most time on? like picking up some habits here and there. alec and ray has that alrdy but now#its like-- More intense. basically in this au alec and ray strongly influences each other due to alecs heart being in rays chest#so overtime. alec ends up acting more like ray and ray ends up acting more like alec and my brain was like: in the end who will be who?#and now im like: damn... this is like the ship of theseus but a lil to the left and like a body swap but also not really and--#anyway now im just sitting here. 2 am. going 😦cuz i did not intend for this au to be this deep. i wanted smth silly orz...
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day 3 no ibuprofen i am suffering
#surgeon is making me stop ibuprofen for 4 weeks XD 2 wks before and 2 wks after surgery#i think ive complained abt it on here already like i understand it is because it can mess with bleeding but oh my god#naturally. i am having a flare up of joint pain :) and a migraine that makes it feel like im being shot in the head#m whole body hurts like it wants me to die#im still allowed to take tylenol but all tylenol does is make me feel sick ueeuueueeueu it doesnt help my pain at all becaause so much of i#is from inflammation#top surgery will improve my life so so so much but it is going to be hellish trynig to slog through my fucking chronic pain disorder#also i <3 my surgeon and her team but during my preop i repeated (was already meant to be in my file but wasn't) how much ibuprofen i take#and the medical assistant literally GASPED and said WOW. THATS A LOT! and started lauughing and im like yayyyyy wow i had noooooo idea ive#been taking unhealthy amounts of it jsut for shits n gigs!#like do you think im dealing witht he drawbacks of taking 800-2400 mgs of ibuprofen daily for FUN? you think i wouldnt give anyhting to not#have to take it????#anyways rant over sorry karl i know ur the only one reading this#maybe discodildos i dont really know you but you like my posts from time to time
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