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captain-josslett · 3 years ago

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Broken Melody - Part Thirty Three

Masterlist

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 8.8k+ (DANG IT! I tried not writing as much... Ah well.)

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, PTSD moments, smut...ish more mentions of?

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Lena Luthor, Alex Danvers x Sam Arias

This Part: A week before the surgery and Emma sees Alistair for an appointment.

Ek! So close! Please, please, please, let me know you thoughts and opinions. I literally have no anons 😅 @aznblossom thank you for always leaving a comment!

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please! I like knowing your thoughts.

Taglist: @finleyfray, @life-is-hella-unfair, @natasha-danvers, @supergirl-writingz, @camslightstories, @thinking1bee, @aznblossom

A Week Before The Surgery

Emma’s feet pound the pavement as she runs along the waterfront by the city, with Robyn’s partly completely album blaring in her ears.

Emma can’t help but feel pride with how good everything sounds as she passes unsuspecting members of the public. Weaving around the couples and families going for a gentle stroll in the warm April, Saturday sun.

Her face starts to feel slightly uncomfortable from the sweat rolling down her face. The face modifier causing a strange sensation and a tightness due to her heated skin. After finding this happening whenever she exercises with the modifier on, Winn and Brainy decide to develop a new model, one that will hopefully be more lightweight and comfortable for the wearer. Including more options and will be able to change the wearer's hair and colour.

But, Emma hopes the time will come soon where Lucy gives her the go ahead where she won’t have to wear it anymore. By Doctor Hamilton’s assessment it should be another month or two before that can happen.

Emma had ventured out without it on, but that was under Lucy’s strict orders and guidance. The lawyer had organised a little outing where Emma sat in a wheelchair with a nasal cannula, giving the impression she was getting oxygen and sat with her sisters at Noonan’s. Bruises and prosthetics were applied around her face and neck to create the illusion that Emma was still healing.

Emma did query whether it would be a good idea but she had been reassured it was. Emma even asked if she still needed the prosthetics but Doctor Hamilton explained that with the severity of the trauma done to her body, she suspects the swelling would have stayed around longer than normal.

As soon as Alex rolled Emma through the restaurant's doors it spread like wildfire that Emma was out in public. Social Media lapped it up and soon a crowd of paparazzi, well wishers and fans gathered outside the restaurant. Emma stiffly waved and played her part but was grateful when they left and she could get rid of the itchy makeup and prosthetics.

Lena was meant to have joined them at the outing, but per usual, Lena had been too busy to attend.

Emma lets out a heavy breath as her heart clenches at the thought of her girlfriend. The Sunday after Nia’s party had been utter bliss with Emma waking up in Lena’s arms. The raven haired beauty had already been awake and kissed Emma’s forehead as she greeted her. The couple then laid there for a while, planting soft kisses on each other's lips until Emma needed to pee. The blonde had come back expecting Lena would want to start the day. However the raven haired beauty had not moved.

“Didn’t you mention about spending the whole day in bed?” Lena asked in a husky voice, dripping in sex. She pulled the covers back and revealed she had removed her pajamas.

Emma didn’t hesitate in flinging off her own clothing and jumping right back into bed. That day had been magical while they moved as one, the feeling of-

Her watch bleeps, pulling Emma out of her thoughts and alerting her to another mile she’s completed and calculating what her pace is. She glances down at it to check but notices the time instead, her eyes widen and immediately she turns towards Alistair's office.

‘Shit! Shit! Shit!’ Emma screams in her head as she starts running faster and berates herself for being in her own little world. Not realising she had gone further then she originally planned.

Currently she was twenty minutes away from Alistair’s office and her appointment was in ten minutes. She’s going to be late and Emma hates being late. The blonde pumps her arms and wishes she could call out for people to move or apologies when she makes people jump as she sprints past.

Finally Alistair’s building comes into view but Emma doesn’t slow down until she slides in front of the building's door and presses the buzzer four times to alert the alien she has arrived.

“Come on up Emma!” Alistair’s warm voice calls through the speaker and the buzzing of the lock follows, allowing Emma to push the door open.

The blonde races up the stairs two at a time, putting her wireless headphones in their case and turns into the hallway towards Alistair’s office door. Finding that the red headed alien was already standing in the doorway and gently smiling at her.

‘I’m so, so sorry! I’m so late! Time got away from me and-’ Emma’s mind screams out as she quickly approaches the therapist, automatically reaching up and deactivating the modifier.

“Emma, it's okay! You’re actually right on time!”

The blonde halts and frowns, immediately lifting her arm up to look at her watch. She notices the running app is still on and quickly ends the session before looking at the time.

Alistair was correct… She was right on time.

‘Huh… I must have read it wrong.’ Emma muses as she tries to visualise what she saw as she was running.

“Possibly.” Alistair agrees and moves out of the way to let her in.

As soon as she enters the office the patter of paws makes her look up from her watch as Lily excitedly trots over to her.

‘Lily!’ Emma drops to her knees and affectionately strokes under Lily’s chin. The snowy white german shepherd greets her in kind with many licks to her face and arms, lapping up the light sheen of sweat covering them, causing Emma to release a few voiceless laughs.

“She’s always happy to see you.” Alistair says cheerfully and moves towards his chair, motioning for Emma to sit on the sofa.

Straightening up Emma makes her way over with Lily right beside her.

“The water is for you as well. Did you have a good run?” Alistair asks, as Emma sits down, takes her trainers off and sits crossed legged. Lily instantly hops onto the sofa next to her and rests her head on the blonde’s lap.

Emma glances at the coffee table in front of her, on it was a box of tissues, a few books and a glass of water with a lemon slice and a few cubes of ice.

‘Thank you and yes it was good.’ Emma thinks gratefully as she carefully leans forward to get the glass, not wanting to jostle Lily too much. Seeing this, Alistair helps by getting the glass first and holding it out for Emma to take.

“Great and thank you for being willing to move your appointment to today. I am sorry about having to rearrange our time together.” Alistair says sincerely.

‘It’s okay.’ Emma shrugs, she normally sees Alistair during the week. ‘Not like I had much planned for today anyway.’ A small twinge hits Emma’s heart.

“Okay, how’s the last few days been?” Alistair asks as he leans back against the leather armchair and studies her. Emma takes a few gulps of the cool water as she thinks.

‘Yea, it wasn't too bad.’ Memories of the week flashes through her mind, who she saw, the smells, her heart clenching whenever she’d wake up in an empty apartment-

“Ah, I take it Lena is still working a lot?” Alistair asks with a sympathetic smile.

‘Yea.’ Emma answers softly in her mind, her shoulders slump and Lily licks her hand, making the blonde slowly stroke her head. ‘I understand these new investors are important, I know how important her work is but-’ Emma stops her thoughts and looks out of the window at the sea in the distance.

“You miss her.” Alistair finishes for her and Emma lowers her head.

‘Yea.’ Emma thinks weakly and can’t help but visualise their early relationship. How excited Emma was to get back to her hotel room to spend some time with her girlfriend, no matter how exhausted she felt after a gig. ‘I love her so much, I’d give my life for her but I just miss what we had when she wasn’t so busy. I mean we made it work when I was on tour and I’d call her even with the different time zones and it would be early in the morning for me.’

“That is understandable.” Alistair comments as he rests a finger beside his cheek as he ponders what Emma revealed. “You have both been through some major changes. Has she given you a time frame for when things look to be getting back to normal?”

-- -- --

During the week - Lena and Emma’s apartment

Emma checks her phone for the umpteenth time as she gets ready for Lena. On Sunday they had planned to have a date during the week and go out for dinner. Something they haven’t been able to do recently.

Emma voicelessly sighs while putting the finishing touches on her makeup, thankful that her hard work transfers through the modified face.

Standing up from the dressing table the blonde heads towards the walk-in wardrobe and takes the dress, she had spent hours deciding on, off the hanger. The dress was teal coloured, elegantly pleated and Emma had fallen in love with it as soon as she saw it. Also finding she was loving the dress even more when she zipped herself up and admired the way it hugged her toned body. She then steps into her trusted black high heeled shoes and opens her jewelry box.

For a moment she looks for her layered necklace her sisters got her. Only to feel a devastating pang when she remembers Kara crushed it.

‘No… Not Kara.’ Emma shakes her head and closes the lid. She heads out into the living area and glances at her phone again.

No new messages from Lena.

Emma flops onto the sofa, ignoring the dull ache in her head that hasn’t disappeared since leaving the DEO. Naturally when anyone asks her about it the blonde shrugs it off, not wanting to worry her friends and family anymore then she already has.

Laying down on the sofa Emma opens her phone and scrolls through social media to pass the time. She yawns and starts to feel her eyes grow heavy and eventually they close as she falls into a deep sleep.

So deep that even when the apartment door opens and closes, Emma doesn’t stir. Or when heeled shoes click over to her.

What does wake her up is a hand gently shaking her shoulder. Emma jumps, her eyes fly open as she takes a sharp intake of breath.

“Sorry love.” Lena apologises softly and strokes Emma’s cheek with the back of her fingers.

Emma nuzzles her face into Lena’s hand and kisses it before sitting up. Which causes her to become face to face with the raven haired beauty as Lena sat next to the sleeping blonde.

Emma smiles and goes to kiss Lena, until she sees the time on the oven clock. Her eyes widen and she pulls back.

“Em?” Lena pouts at the halted kiss.

“The reservation! We’re late.” Emma moves to jump off the sofa but Lena places a hand on her shoulder, halting her movements.

“I cancelled it.” Lena says hesitantly and Emma blinks at her. “I’m sorry, it got so late and you weren’t answering your phone and-”

Emma places a finger on Lena’s lips, sensing the rising guilt and panic in her girlfriend. Reaching out she unlocks her phone, noticing the messages but instead goes into Hope’s app and turns the lights up from a soft glow.

Lena’s eyes squint at the sudden light and Emma studies her properly.

Despite the make up Lena was wearing, Emma can see the dark circles under her tired, reddened eyes. Emma opens her arms and Lena immediately falls into the hug and kisses her cheek. Slowly Emma leans back into the corner of the sofa, pulling Lena up with her.

“Emma!” Lena giggles and Emma feels Lena settle on top of her and snuggles in. The blonde slowly rubs circles into her girlfriend’s back and eventually feels Lena twitch, signalling she’s fallen asleep.

Carefully grabbing her phone, Emma opens UberEats and decides to get Lena’s favourite food. Seeing that it will be delivered in half an hour, Emma rests her head back against the cushions and enjoys the feeling of holding her girlfriend. Grateful that even though they haven’t gone out on a date, Lena has still come home and given Emma this time with her.

When the food arrives Emma carefully lifts the snoozing CEO off her and quietly runs to the door. But no matter how careful Emma is at keeping quiet, when she turns around Lena is sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

“Em?” Lena’s husky voice calls out.

Emma lets out a huff of frustration as she wants to tell her dinner is ready. She wants to speak the words of love she is longing to say.

Instead Emma strides over to the sofa and places the bag on the coffee table.

“Hmm, you know me so well.” Lena smirks at the sight of the logo on the bag.

The couple settle on the sofa and listen to a playlist of soft acoustic music as they eat.

“I-” Lena starts and hesitates. Turning her head Emma gazes into regretful green eyes and watches Lena swallow before she continues. “I just want to apologise for ruining our date tonight. Time just got away from me and… there's no excuse.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it's not.” Lena tries to implore Emma to listen. “Just- this won’t be forever. I promise you that. I’m taking time off for the surgery and afterwards to look after you. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been working nonstop, so my sole focus will be on you.” She reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind Emma’s ear.

Emma beams at her, taking Lena’s hand and kisses it.

“What have you been working on?” Emma asks and Lena explains the many projects she’s been developing with the investors and her team. Emma’s eyes widen at how complex it all sounds and nods along.

Soon they finish their meal and despite how tired they both are, they head to bed for a different reason than sleep.

-- -- --

Emma comes out of the memory before she shows anything risque to her therapist. But she cannot help but smile softly at the feeling of Lena’s arms wrapped around her.

“Interesting. So there wasn’t a set time frame, just that it won’t be forever?”

‘Yea.’ Emma looks down and runs her fingers smoothly through Lily’s fur.

“Have you tried asking Lena further?”

‘She apologises and says the same thing she’s been saying for a while. Now isn’t forever.’

Alistair nods and looks down at his notes as he jots down a few more. “How are you sleeping?”

Emma hesitates, causing Alistair to look back up at her. Feeling an unease emit from the blonde.

“Emma?” Alistair asks, his eyes imploring her to be truthful with him.

‘I haven’t been sleeping well. I’m finding I-’ Emma pauses, not wanting to admit what's been happening. Taking a deep breath her mind shows him instead. Horrible nightmares that have Emma jumping awake in a panic, drenched in sweat, only to find she is alone in bed.

“You’re still experiencing nightmares?”

Emma nods.

“More than usual, less or about the same?”

‘I-’ Emma lifts her head as she tries to remember. ‘It feels about the same.’

“Okay, that is something that we will still work on and honestly I’m not surprised you are still having them.” Alistair says compassionately, trying to help Emma see she is doing nothing wrong.

“What about your sisters? How are things going with them?”

‘It’s going well. Things almost feel back to normal.’

Emma’s mind brings up the memories of Alex chasing her around the beach, laughing as she tries to catch her until she finally jumps on Emma’s back.

And memories of Kara come forward where she’d fly into the apartment bearing gifts of Emma’s favourite food, like Cadbury chocolates from the UK. The pair would snuggle up on the sofa and watch a film while they gorge on the treats.

‘I know she still feels guilty, but she doesn’t flinch when we hug or touch anymore.’

“That's a good improvement for sure. But it seems Kara is still not as open as Alex yet?” Alistair enquiries, causing Emma to pause as she reflects.

‘No?’ She answers unsure. ‘I mean, Alex still holds back in certain areas. I still catch her looking at me with such a sad expression. They both do.’ Emma plays with her hands as her sisters’ mournful faces fill her mind, that is until Lily nuzzles her nose into her fiddling hands, allowing Emma to stroke her instead. ‘Maybe it's due to Kara’s trauma?’

“Most likely.” Alistair nods in agreement. “The thing is, each of us are different, we have different likes, different dislikes and our brains are wired uniquely. Therefore we can react differently to the same events, depending on who we are.”

Emma nods and rests her head against the back of the sofa as she thinks. ‘That makes sense. So, for Alex, she has trained to be a soldier, her natural instinct is to fight and follow orders. To lead and protect. But for Kara she grew up on another planet, with a particular upbringing, she witnessed that planet being destroyed, all she had known, gone in an instant.’ Emma’s heart pangs in sympathy, remembering how shell shocked Kara had been when Clark brought her to the Danvers. A new family and a new way of life. ‘She had to be so careful, even when walking, to not put her foot through the floorboards or hurt any of us.’

“Like a god among mortals.” Alistair nods in agreement. “From what you’ve told me before, it sounds like fear was instilled in her as soon as she arrived, that she could easily hurt anyone she came in contact with.”

Emma nods.

“So, Kara broke that promise when she hurt you-” Emma immediately interrupts in her mind but Alistair holds his hand up, halting her. “To Kara, she did hurt you and I know you keep repeating that she didn’t, but from Kara’s point of view it was her hand that crushed your neck and broke your bones. She hurt someone she cares deeply about and using the powers she had sworn would protect people.”

Emma lowers her head and pinches the bridge of her nose. Feeling the pounding in her head intensify.

“Like Supergirl, you can’t protect and save everyone.” Alistair says softly, imploring for Emma to understand.

‘I know.’ Emma admits sadly, she feels Lily move and nuzzle her head against Emma’s cheek, as if sensing her pain.

The pair sit in silence for a while. The ticking of the clock being the only noise in the room.

“How are you feeling about the surgery next week?” Alistair looks up at the clock. “You’d have just gone into the theatre.”

‘Honestly, I can’t wait for it.’ Emma thinks softly and the familiar sense of butterflies start fluttering around her stomach.

“How are you feeling about that?”

‘Nervous. Excited. Terrified.’

“Terrified? About the procedure?”

Emma hesitates. Lily, seemingly sensing her tension, lovingly licks Emma’s cheek and nuzzles her head into Emma’s hand. Causing Emma to continue stroking her.

“Emma?”

‘I am terrified about the operation not working, that it's going to make things bad again.’

“How so?”

‘It seems to be a constant reminder when I have to sign or when I go to laugh or make any noise, but all that comes out is breath.’ Emma thinks mournfully and glances out the window, memories of her sisters’ guarded eyes fill her mind. ‘I know this will take time before things can go back to normal. I just don’t want the progress we’ve made to be destroyed because the op didn’t work.’

“And if that happens?”

Emma’s stomach drops at the thought. But her mind focuses on those around her. Her family, friends and Lena. How would they react?

“Emma.” Alistair softly sighs, placing his book on the coffee table and leans forward. “You need to focus on yourself. Which you have been doing and I am pleased with our progress with your PTSD. We both know this isn’t a quick or an easy road. But you need to focus on how you feel about your voice not returning right away or, possibly ever.”

Emma swallows deeply at Alistair’s words, her throat feeling like it’s going to close over. ‘I understand.’

“Good.” Alistair picks his notebook back up and settles back into the seat. “Is there anything else you wish to discuss?”

Emma pauses and focuses on Lily as she runs her fingers through the soft fur.

‘There is something else.’ Emma admits quietly. Almost as if she’s too scared to present it.

“Which is?” Alistair asks kindly, but Emma keeps her mind closed off. “Emma, you don’t have to share if you don’t want to-”

Images start filling his mind, of the world blurring and morphing around Emma. How one second she’s at one end of the apartment and the next she’s at the other end, normally crashing into something or stumbling. How she easily lifts items others seem to struggle with, lifting Lena and Alex like they were light as a feather. Her headaches and heightened senses, especially her sensitive hearing and being able to hear a whisper across a room. How overwhelming the noise can become when she’s in a crowded place.

Alistair also feels fear and confusion pour off the young woman.

“Emma, you have nothing to fear here.” Alistair implores the blonde. “And thank you for showing me. How long have you noticed these- moments?”

‘Only recently when… erm.’ Emma’s cheeks colour in an intense blush as she remembers the moment she heard a crack from the headboard during an intense orgasm on Sunday while she rode Lena’s strap. Looking down she noticed the wood was splintering and cracking under her hands.

Once Lena was asleep Emma had sat up and felt the cracks again. She stayed there for a while as pieces started to click into place. Something was wrong with her.

“Nothing is wrong with you.” Alistair says firmly, his eyes imploring Emma to listen. “Can we test this theory that something is happening to you?” Alistair asks as he straightens up.

Emma nods and watches as he gets up and goes to one of his many bookcases. The redhead picks something up and strides back over to her. In his hand is a small, shiny ball.

“Squeeze this as hard as you can.” Alistair says while handing her the ball and moves her empty glass to sit on the coffee table in front of her.

Lily sits up, intrigued by the object Emma is holding.

‘Okay.’ Emma starts squeezing and applies more and more pressure.

Nothing happens.

“Keep a hold of it but look at me.” Alistair instructs and Emma lifts her eyes and focuses on his kind crystal blue ones.

“Have they gotten any closer to finding those responsible?” Alistair carefully asks, his eyes searching Emma’s hazel green ones.

‘No.’ Emma’s face and eyes darken and she clenches her jaw.

“Are Kara and Alex putting up the right precautions to not get taken again? I imagine they are prime targets as they are close to you? Maybe someone like Winn or Lucy or maybe your Mom or even Lena could be taken next?”

The thought of her family, her friends, her loved ones being forced into what Alex and Kara have already gone through fills Emma with a powerful rage.

She grits her teeth and her hold on the silver ball tightens.

Alistair’s eyes flick down to her hand. “Emma, look.”

The blonde lowers her gaze and gapes at the hand imprint she has made on the now disproportionate ball.

“This is a ball of titanium.” Alistair says as he picks the metal up out of Emma’s hand. “Or was.” He mutters as he turns it around in his hands.

‘What’s happening to me?’ Emma thinks, terrified at what this could mean.

“I don’t know.” Alistair truthfully admits. “Maybe it’s to do with the serum they gave you?”

‘But it was a healing serum? Not a super soldier thing!’ Emma’s mind shouts, her panic starting to build.

“That may be the case, but you need to communicate with Lena, Brainy or Doctor Hamilton about this.”

‘Do I have to?’ Emma apprehensively asks.

“Yes. Because this-” Alistair holds up the distorted piece of titanium. “Is not normal.”

Emma nods but her face scrunches up in emotion.

‘You always like being the center of attention! I hate you!’ Alex’s teenage words scream within Emma’s mind, causing her to hide her head in her hands.

“Emma?” Alistair tilts his head and Lily nuzzles her nose into the side of the blonde’s face.

‘I’m just Emma, plain, simple Emma.’ Her thoughts come out weak and feeble.

“Emma, there is nothing plain or simple about you. You are one of the most talented people I know. Your voice reaches and touches millions of lives and gives them hope.” He says passionately and before Emma can respond a buzzer goes off. “And that’s the end of our session for this week.” He says apologetically. “But we’ve made some really good progress. Emma-” Alistair says to get Emma to look at him. Slowly she lowers her hands and lifts her head. Her eyes swimming in anguish. “I really recommend that you tell someone what is happening. Anyone you feel comfortable sharing with. Maybe Lucy or Sam?” Alistair gently offers. “Just don’t keep this to yourself.”

Emma nods and gets up, making Lily jump off the sofa and trots with her to the door.

“Did you want to meet up on Wednesday like usual? Or did you want to come here on Friday instead?” Alistair offers as he follows behind her with his diary.

‘Yea Wednesday sounds good.’

“Great! I’ll see you then! Have a good weekend and remember what I said.” Alistair opens the door and smiles at her.

Emma nods but feels slightly frustrated that the appointment ended just as they were getting somewhere. She quickly rushes through, feeling like she has more questions than answers.

What’s going on?

Did she have powers?

How could that be?

Over and over these questions cycle through her mind as she makes her way down the stairs.

She passes a mirror and suddenly remembers to put the face modifier on. She chooses the face with the Marilyn Monroe beauty mark that is quickly becoming one of her favourite to use.

As she exits the building Emma starts to get her headphones out and plans a route to run home. That is until a car quickly pulls up beside her and honks loudly. Causing Emma to jump high into the air.

“Get in loser we’re going shopping!” Alex yells across Kara who beams at Emma from the open passenger window.

But the blonde momentarily stays frozen, trying to process what just happened and her sisters’ beaming faces.

“Em?” Kara’s smile fades and a frown replaces it, making Emma quickly open the back door of Alex’s car and dive in.

“Seatbelt.” Alex orders as she turns to study her baby sister. ‘She must have had a hard session.’ Alex thinks and her eyes snap to Kara’s who looks to be thinking the same thing as she bites her lip in worry.

Once Emma is belted in Alex pulls back into traffic. “Hope you didn’t mind us picking you up?” She calls back to Emma and watches her shake her head in the rearview mirror.

Kara twists around so she can see Emma properly. “We thought we could have a sister’s day and have a movie marathon?”

“Sounds good.” Emma signs and tries to smile convincingly.

“Plus it's your turn to choose!” Alex says trying to sound more upbeat than normal and wants to remind Emma. Normally her blonde sister would clap loudly and take a while to choose. Going back and forth between many classics and their favourites. Even discussing pros and cons between the choices she has.

Instead, Emma simply nods in response before gazing out of the window. Making Kara and Alex exchange worried glances as they continue towards Alex’s apartment.

Soon they are parked in Alex's parking space and the sisters get out. Emma goes to walk towards the elevator when Alex stops her.

“Do you mind giving us a hand?” Alex asks while she pops the boot open. Bags upon bags of food are revealed, causing Emma to raise an eyebrow at her sisters.

“I know! I was hungry!” Kara whines and immediately grabs a donut from one of the bags and chomps on it.

“Kara!” Alex yells and swats at her.

“Sorry! Do you want one?” Kara says with her mouth full and offers Alex a donut.

Emma can’t help but smile at the pair and reaches down to take a few bags.

“Wait! Em they are-” Alex pauses as Emma effortlessly lifts them up. “Heavy… Guess not.”

Emma momentarily freezes and remembers what she had Alistair had discussed, instead she shrugs and smiles at the red head instead.

“I got these!” Kara announces and takes the rest.

“You left me with one.” Alex says unimpressed while closing the boot. “Emma, give me a few.”

The blonde looks down and hands her sister the bags full of light goodies.

“I can take a few more.” Alex raises an eyebrow at Emma and holds her hand out. But Emma responds in a shrug and strolls towards the elevator. Alex turns her head towards Kara who repeats Emma’s shrug and follows.

As soon as they enter the apartment Emma places the bags on the island and quickly disengages her face modifier. Silently sighing in relief as she massages her cheeks.

Kara places her bags on the island and pulls out a small USB drive from her jean pocket. “Winn kindly let us borrow his drive with all the films past and present. Wouldn’t let me borrow films of the future though… Especially those based on real events.”

“Wonder why?” Alex laughs and places the last of the bags on the island. She looks to see Emma’s response, but the blonde is too busy unpacking the bags. “Em?”

Hazel green eyes shoot up and an unusual blank look accompanies Emma’s face.

“You okay?” Alex asks with a frown and takes a step towards her baby sister. But Emma takes a step away from her and around the island.

“Can I have a shower? I still feel a bit gross from my run.” Emma signs while barely looking at her sisters.

“Sure! You know you don’t need to ask!” Alex utters and watches Emma nod before zipping into the bathroom.

“Shall I get you some clothes?” Kara calls out while giving Alex a concerned look, the redhead mirrors it with a frown.

Emma pops her head around the door and nods, giving them a grateful smile before quickly disappearing again.

Kara approaches Alex’s closet. “Kara, wait!” Alex yells but the blonde has already opened the door.

“Huh, Alex-” Kara tilts her head and slowly turns back to her sister. “Why are most of your clothes not in your closet?”

“Er, laundry day?” Alex says not too convincingly and can tell by Kara’s face, she doesn’t believe her.

“That’s a question.” Kara places a hand on her hip and studies the redhead.

“Okay I can explain, but I want to tell both of you. Together.”

“Okay.” Kara grins at her sister and turns back to the closet to find something for Emma to wear.

“There should be a bag of Em’s things by the right?” Alex says while getting glasses and bowls for the drinks and snacks for the marathon.

“Found it!” Kara hollers, takes the bag out and places it on the bed. She opens it and tries to find the comfiest clothes for Emma to wear.

“Do you need any help?” Kara asks after getting Emma’s things ready.

“Can you move these to the coffee table please?” Alex asks and then gives Kara a hard look when she grabs two huge bowls filled with treats. “Do not start eating until we are all sitting on the sofa.”

“Yes ma’am.” Kara deadpans and starts transferring the stuff over from the island to the coffee table, while Alex gets the microwavable popcorn ready. Finding they all prefer fresh, hot popcorn to normal bagged ones.

Kara hears the shower turn off and super speeds over to grab the clothes she has chosen for Emma and practically skips to the door, knocking on it in a quick rhythm.

“Hey Em, I got some comfy clothes for you to change into.” Kara calls through the door and hears Emma moving around the bathroom. The door opens and Emma’s hand appears to take it. “There you go!” When the door closes again Kara heads to Alex sitting on the sofa. Her sunny attitude fading as her face morphs into one of worry. “Do you think she had a hard session today?”

“Yea maybe. I mean she hasn’t seemed the happiest the past few days.”

“Mhmm, do you think it's mainly due to Lena? She’s working way too hard.”

“When doesn’t she?!” Alex takes a sip of her drink. “Shall we order or wait for Em to decide?”

“Let’s wait.” Kara nods and sits back into the sofa cushions.

“But how is Lena, like, have you gone to see her recently?”

“Yea, I saw her last night on patrol. Actually had to forcibly remove her from her office but we had a good chat. She just holds onto what her damn family says too much.”

“Yea.” Alex says softly in agreement. She’s grown to really care for Lena, despite the rocky start. “But she’s taking time off soon for the- you know.”

“Yes, that's the plan.” They both ignore the word surgery and both feel their nerves bubbling up about it. “Are you taking any ti-”

The bathroom door opens, making the sisters drop their conversation and look at their baby sister.

Emma feels more relaxed after the warm shower but the sudden stop in her sisters’ conversation when she leaves the bathroom fills Emma with an uneasy feeling.

“Were you talking about me?” Emma signs with a tilt of her head as she continues to dry her hair with a towel.

“Just about what food we fancy.” Kara smiles too brightly. “And as usual we want the complete opposite and I was asking Alex what she thought you would want.”

“Yea and I didn’t get to answer cause that’s when you came in.”

Emma stops drying her hair and looks between her two sisters, her eyes darting back and forth. She doesn’t believe them but decides to go along with their explanation. “So what are the options? I mean, we can get different things right? Not like it will go to waste?”

“Now that is an excellent idea.” Alex nods in approval and gives Kara a bright smile as she unlocks her phone to open UberEats. “So Kara you wanted-”

“Potstickers.” Emma signs at the same time Kara enthusiastically yells the word out.

“You know me so well little one!” Kara laughs, making Emma pause, realising Kara hasn’t called her that in a while.

But she carries on drying her hair before flinging the towel towards Alex’s hamper.

“Em-” Alex starts to complain, thinking the towel would flop part of the way there. But the screwed up towel lands perfectly in the laundry basket. “Ma- huh, good throw.”

Emma bows and approaches where she normally sits in the middle of the sofa.

“Peanut, what do you fancy?” Alex looks up from her phone after putting in her order too.

Emma shrugs and grabs a handful of popcorn.

“That’s for the film!” Alex hollers and slaps Emma’s hand, causing her to jump. “Which you also need to choose what you want to watch.”

“I’ll do it!” Kara super speeds to where she left the USB, plugs it into Alex’s tv and hands Emma the remote to scroll through.

“But first I need to know what you want to eat.”

Emma shoves the rest of the popcorn in her mouth to sign. “What have you already ordered?”

“Chinese and pizza.”

“I’m happy with that. Not feeling overly hungry.”

“What?” Kara blinks in shock especially when Emma can eat a decent amount of food.

“What have you eaten today? Did you have a big breakfast?” Alex enquiries, also knowing it was unusual for Emma not to demand her own food.

“Yes Doctor Danvers, I have already eaten something today.” It was only a banana but Emma wasn’t going to admit that. Her session with Alistair has unsettled her stomach.

“Yea but what was it?” Alex presses but Emma ignores her by focusing on the tv and trying to decide what to watch. Making Alex narrow her eyes. “Emma.”

But her eyes move from Emma to Kara when her other sister motions for her to stop by signing. “Can’t you see something is wrong?”

“I know but I want to find out what!” Alex tries to sign out of Emma’s peripheral vision.

“Leave her alone Alex.” Kara warns, making Alex huff which causes Emma to look over at her and Alex gives her a soft smile.

“So, any idea what we are gonna watch?” Alex asks casually and Kara rolls her eyes.

“Lord Of The Rings Extended Editions?” Emma signs hopefully, knowing the full run time is nearly twelve hours long.

“I’m up for that!” Alex beams at the TV as the menu screen for ‘The Fellowship Of The Ring’ comes up.

“Me too!” Kara claps and settles back into the sofa. Emma smiles at both of her sisters and grabs the blanket draped over the back and places it over their laps.

“Thanks Em.”

The sisters watch the opening scenes fold out, explaining the lore of Middle Earth, the darkness and the moment all things were almost lost.

When the whistle of the Shire plays, Emma’s eyes well with tears and she sniffs. Always finding this piece of music touches her. She feels a hand on each thigh as her sisters reach out to comfort her at the same time and Emma hesitantly takes each hand. Warily to not harm them and being frightened to do so.

‘Rao, is this how Kara feels all the time?’

But Emma tries to push her earlier discovery away and gets lost in the film again.

The loud ringing of the apartment buzzer makes Emma almost jump out of her seat.

“Food!” Kara yells as she flies to the door and down the stairs to grab it from the delivery person.

Emma pauses the film and turns to Alex to sign with a raised eyebrow. “Do you think Kara is secretly a Hobbit?” Emma signs, causing Alex to almost spit out the drink she was sipping. “I mean, she has what, four breakfasts?”

Alex cackles loudly and Emma smiles at the sound.

“What are you laughing at?” Kara asks as she super speeds into the room with the food perfectly balanced in her hands.

“Oh, we were just comparing you to a Hobbit.” Alex teases and grins at the blonde.

“Alex!” Kara looks outraged. “I do not have big, hairy feet!”

“It was Emma’s idea!” Alex motions at Emma.

“Emma!” Kara shifts her focus to her baby sister but Emma shrugs and grabs her pizza off the pile.

“I mean, she’s not wrong.” Alex says as she opens a tub of potstickers for Emma and her to share.

“Alex!” Kara yells outraged.

“Kara!” Alex yells mockingly back.

“Emma!” The blonde signs and the trio start laughing. Alex rests her forehead against the side of Emma’s face. Emma turns her head to nuzzle Alex’s and smiles when she feels Kara lean over and hug both of them. Emma twists to place a kiss on Kara's shoulder.

Alex clears her throat and pulls away. “Shall we press play?”

Emma nods and grabs the remote, continuing the film.

The sisters watch the first film and immediately go into the second one, which to Emma, is her favourite. Especially the scenes with Arwen in.

When they get to the scene with Arwen talking to her father, Emma swallows deeply.

“There is still hope.” Arwen whispers back.

Emma’s stomach clenches at the words. Hope.

“Little one?” Kara turns to look at Emma, hearing her heartbeat changing.

Alex immediately grabs the remote to pause the film when she sees tears fill her sister's eyes and how Emma is desperately trying to hide them.

“No, I’m fine. Please continue the film.”

“Actually I need to use the bathroom!” Kara zips up and Alex pauses the film anyway.

She watches Emma closely as she rubs her eyes, trying to force away the tears. “Em? You know you can always tell me what’s going on? Right?”

Emma nods but doesn’t look Alex in the eye, knowing she’d break. “It was a hard session today, sorry.”

“Oh Em, please don’t apologise.” Alex says and pulls her sister into her lap, hugging her close. She feels Emma stiffen but slowly relaxes in her arms.

Kara comes back and Alex gives her a sad look.

“Everything okay?” She asks while sitting down next to them.

“It was a hard session.” Alex answers softly.

“Oh little one.” Kara places a gentle hand on Emma’s back and Emma can’t hold the tears back anymore as she buries her head into the crook of Alex’s shoulder.

Alex and Kara sadly gaze at each other, unsure what they can say or do as they listen to Emma’s hard breaths and sniffs.

Kara swallows and shuffles closer, hugging Emma’s back. “We got you little one, you're safe.” Kara feels Emma shift and move her hand over her shoulder to grab a hold of hers.

They don’t know how long they stay in this position but Kara and Alex do not move until Emma feels ready. They whisper words of love and encouragement and hope she hears them.

Suddenly Kara’s head snaps to the apartment door as she hears two sets of footprints approach. The door opens before she can do anything as Sam and Lena walk through. They both halt at the sight of the sisters.

“What's wrong?” Sam whispers quietly as she places the takeaway food on the coffee table and goes to Alex’s side, perching on the edge of the sofa.

“Hard session.” Alex answers softly and kisses Sam’s lips.

“Has she mentioned anything else?” Lena asks quietly and watches as Emma immediately lifts her head up and twists her neck to find her. Lena swallows as she sees the tears streaming down Emma’s reddened cheeks, her eyes puffy and bloodshot. “Oh love.” Lena says brokenly and goes to comfort her girlfriend, but halts as she doesn’t know where she can go.

Kara immediately moves out of the way, allowing Lena to sit next to Alex and hug Emma’s back. But Emma has other ideas as she twists and moves her upper body onto Lena and holds her close, burying her head into Lena’s neck but her lower half stays on Alex’s lap.

“We got you love.” Lena soothes while stroking Emma’s damp hair and back. She feels Kara scoot close and Lena signals that Kara can join the hug. Immediately Kara wraps an arm around Lena and places a hand gently on Emma’s lower back.

The four women quietly console the broken woman in between them and each other. Wishing nothing more than to heal Emma’s pain.

In time Emma loses steam and slowly lifts her head from the crook of Lena’s neck and sniffs heavily.

“Hi love.” Lena says gently and Emma nuzzles their foreheads together and breathes deeply.

Emma feels truly exhausted, not having cried like that in weeks, well, since she found out about her paralysed vocal chords.

“Is this the time though?” Emma’s ear picks up Alex quietly whispering to Sam.

“Maybe it will make her happy?” Sam offers back, making Emma turn her head towards the couple.

“What will make me happy?” Emma sloppily signs and Kara shifts so she can see the couple too. A small smile gracing her lips.

“Well, erm…” Alex pauses. “I’ve found I’m not really living here anymore because I’m mainly around Sam's apartment.”

“So, we’ve decided that Alex will move in with Ruby and I.” Sam finishes with a huge grin.

Emma blinks and her eyes dart around Alex’s apartment. She had noticed little trinkets and items missing but thought nothing of it.

“Congratulations!” Kara yells happily and jumps to her feet to hug her sister and Sam.

“Thanks Kara.” Alex hugs Kara back and turns back to Emma, who still looks like she’s processing. “Em?”

She watches as Emma’s eyes refocus and a small smile tugs at the corner of her right lip. She lifts her hands and holds one hand with the other and firmly shakes them. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks Em.” Alex smiles back.

“And, you can totally come crash at ours anytime, use the spare room and have sister nights.” Sam smiles at Emma and Kara.

“Well, not ANY-time.” Alex burrows her nose into her girlfriend’s cheek and Sam blushes and bites her lip.

Emma raises an eyebrow and smirks at Lena. She takes a shuddering deep breath as her body calms down from her breakdown.

“Do we want to finish the film and watch the third one another time?” Kara asks while looking through the takeout bags.

Missing the way Emma whips around to gape at her.

“But then it's not a movie marathon!”

“Kara.” Lena says to get the alien’s attention out of the bag containing burgers and french fries.

“Hmm?” Kara’s eyes are wide as she looks to see what her best friend wants.

“Emma was signing to you.”

“Sorry little one.” Kara says apologetically.

“But then it's not a movie marathon.”

“I agree!” Kara nods and shoves some french fries in her mouth. “Shall we get comfy?!”

“I need to pee.” Emma signs and carefully moves off her sister and girlfriend. But as she takes a step away from them the world morphs around her.

‘Please! Not now!’ Emma’s mind yells and she tries to halt her step, ultimately causing her to trip over her own feet.

“Wow careful Em!” Alex laughs. “Rao you are getting more clumsy than Kara!”

“Hey!” Kara yells back offended, making Lena and Sam chuckle in response.

Emma smiles back at them but moves cautiously to the bathroom door.

“Did she mention anything else?” Emma hears Lena ask as soon as she closes the bathroom door.

“No, she’s been quieter than normal.” Alex sighs heavily, making Emma’s heart clench.

“Like she wasn’t here.” Kara agrees.

“Well therapy sessions can be tough sometimes and it’s good Emma is obviously opening up.” Sam tries to reassure the group while plating up everyone's food.

Emma tries not to listen but her ears can’t help but pick up her loved one’s voices. She finishes what she is doing and washes her hands. Briefly pausing and leaning against the sink.

‘Should I tell them?’ Emma wonders and her eyes lift her to her distressed expression. Immediately she wipes her face and adopts a more neutral expression. ‘They have enough to deal with anyway.’

Suddenly she feels a piercing pain in her head. So severe that if she had her voice, Emma would have screamed out as she scrunches up her eyes. Emma then feels a droplet fall from her nose and her eyes shoot open. Her nose is bleeding. She quickly grabs some toilet paper to stem the flow. But, finds nothing more comes out, the nosebleed seemingly stops before it had even begun.

Confused, Emma repeatedly wipes at her nose a few times to make sure it had indeed stopped.

‘Weird.’ Emma mutters in her mind as she stares down at the blood on the tissue. Her head tilts as she assesses the colour and her eyebrows knit together.

“Emma?” Sam’s muffled voice calls through the door, making Emma recoil away from it. “Are you okay in there?”

Throwing the bloodied piece of tissue into the toilet, Emma flushes it, quickly washes her hands and moves towards the door, opening it to a concerned looking Sam.

“You okay?” She asks as her warm brown eyes seemingly studies the blonde in front of her.

Emma nods and gives her a small smile before moving past her to get back to the sofa.

Sam follows, watching Emma closely and sits on Alex’s turquoise chair. Emma hesitates, not sure where she can sit due to the sofa looking full with her sisters and Lena already on it.

“There’s room for you on here too, it will be a tight squeeze but I think we can manage.” Lena pats the small gap between her and Alex. Emma carefully wedges herself between the two and gratefully takes the plate Kara hands to her. Already feeling a bit hungry.

“Ready?” Alex asks while grabbing the remote.

“Ready!” Sam and Kara yell back and the room is again filled with the sights and sounds of Middle Earth.

-- -- --

Later that night Kara, Emma and Lena glide through the air towards Lena’s apartment.

“I mean, why couldn’t Gandalf have just got the Eagles to fly Frodo and the ring to Mount Doom?” Kara argues with Lena while Emma listens and smiles, enjoying the debate between the two.

“Because they are their own beings plus Sauron had the Fellbeast and the Nazgûl would have seen the eagles coming!”

“Huh, I guess. But! Then why didn’t the fellowship prepare for that? Have a few more elves firing arrows? Problem solved!” Kara declares as they touch down on the balcony.

“If you say so, Kara.” Lena beams at her best friend as Kara gently places her feet on solid ground and Emma lets off her sister.

“Well, goodnight.” Kara opens her arms and hugs Lena tight before turning and giving Emma a hug too.

“Night.” Lena yawns out and opens the balcony door with Emma following behind her and waving goodbye to Kara.

They get ready for bed together and Lena can’t help but notice the far off look in Emma’s eyes. Like her girlfriend was somewhere else.

When they slide into bed, Lena gently takes Emma’s hand and lies on her side to fully look at her girlfriend.

“Hey.” Lena gently whispers.

Emma slowly turns her head and her eyes focus on concerned green ones.

“Are you okay?”

Swallowing deeply Emma turns to lie on her side to face Lena. Her mind races with what to communicate. Should she tell her everything?

“Love, please don’t lie to me.” Lena says, seeing the clogs working in Emma’s mind, and the worry within her eyes. But suddenly Lena is yawning again. “Sorry.” She blinks and widens her eyes more to keep them open.

Emma gives her a small smile and watches her closely. ‘She’s exhausted. Tell her a half truth.’

“I’m nervous about next week.”

“That’s understandable. But we are all with you.” Lena nuzzles her forehead against Emma’s and gently kisses her lips. Her hand slowly trails down Emma’s body.

But Emma pulls back and her smile widens slightly. “Time for sleep.”

“But I want to make you feel good.” Lena yawns out, even though her eyelids start drooping from exhaustion. Emma slowly reaches out and softly runs the back of her finger down the bridge of Lena’s nose.

“No sleep.” Lena whines but feels her eyes closing anyway and a tender kiss being placed against her lips. “Lve yu.”

Emma squeezes Lena’s hand three times and watches her girlfriend fall into a deep, peaceful sleep. She stays there for a while, admiring how serene and stunning the raven haired beauty looks.

Slowly Emma rolls over, picks up her notebook and pencil and faces Lena again. She sits up against the headboard so she can sketch Lena, wanting to capture the moment and take in every detail of her love.

Once her task was done Emma places her things on the bedside table.

“Hope, can you turn the lights off please?” Emma signs and carefully slides down the bed to lay back down. Emma closes her eyes and breathes deeply, willing herself to go to sleep.

But in the dark, sinister voices start playing through her mind. Digging up her fears and dread.

Emma blows a frustrated breath through her nose and turns back towards Lena, opening her eyes to focus on the raven haired beauty. Emma’s breathing becomes heavy as she tries to stay calm, but ultimately her stomach clenches and thoughts begin pouring in of what will be happening this time next week. What will the outcome be of the surgery? Will it succeed?

As if sensing Emma’s distress in her sleep, Lena shuffles closer to her girlfriend and latches on. Unknowingly calming Emma down and relieving the ache in her heart. Emma gently kisses Lena’s head, pushing aside her fears and worries before closing her eyes, to fall into a peaceful sleep.

(Part Thirty Four)

#supergirl #supergirl tv #supergirl baby danvers #supergirl imagine #supergirl fanfiction #supergirl fanfic #lena luthor imagine #lena luthor #lena luthor x baby danvers #alex danvers #alex danvers imagine #alex danvers x baby danvers #alex danvers x sam arias #kara danvers x baby danvers #kara danvers imagine #kara danvers #b!d #baby danvers

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gothamslittlejester · 4 years ago

Text

SFW Alphabet with Phoenix!Joker and Ledger!Joker

Hello, I am not dead. I’m really sorry I haven’t posted in forever, so here’s a pretty long piece for both the clownbois to make up for it for you guys (hopefully,, aghhh). I hope my joker license has not been revoked lol, forgive me lovelies.

The characters will be written separately, but feel free to imagine them together if you wish! I just thought writing them both at once made for an interesting comparison. Phoenix!Joker will be referred to as Arthur, and Ledger!Joker as J. I didn’t do all the alphabet letters because some were repetitive, so here’s the ones I thought would make good headcannons!

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Out of the two, Arthur is considerably more affectionate. Being so deprived of love for so long, he doesn’t hesitate to absolutely smother you in affection 24/7, whether that be through kisses, long hugs and warm smiles, or more subtle actions like helping you clean around the house or washing your hair in the bath. He may be a killer clown, but he can’t help dotting on you every time you’re together.

· He also praises you any chance he gets, cooing in your ears how amazing you are and how much you mean to him. He wants you to feel loved in every way possible, both verbally and physically.

· His favorite way of showing affection is making you laugh or cheering you up whenever you’re down. Bad jokes? Cute magic tricks? Running your boss over with a truck? He knows the blues can come and go as they please and they can really affect your whole mood, so he makes sure to always bring some happiness in your life.

Ledger!Joker

· J shows his affection in much more subtle ways, although with time you find yourself picking up on them effortlessly. He may not always vocalize his affection, but there’s no denying his adoration for you.

· He’s very playful with you; tickle fights, wrestling matches, pinching your ass and ruffling your hair are all things you grow accustomed to, and they never fail to make you laugh. If you blush or squeak in response to his antics, J will think it’s the cutest and funniest thing in the world. He’ll only be more encouraged to get that response out of you next time, so good luck to you.

· At night, his displays of affection shift from playful to more protective and domineering. If he’s feeling suddenly possessive of you, he envelops you in a protective hug and pulls you into his chest. His side of the bed will always the one closest to the door in case of trouble.

· His affection is very physical, and will often be shown through actions. He’ll take care of any inconvenience you have- someone bother you, sweetheart? You never see them again.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Arthur will always be there for you, listening to you vent for hours, helping you with any little chore or problem you have and just chilling with you by the television for hours. He’s never had someone to confide in and care for him, and every understanding look and encouraging smile you give him is stored in a special place in his heart.

· Not only is he a great listener for you too, but his advice is never halfhearted. If you have a problem, or something you’re uncertain about, he’ll do his best to help you sort it out until you’re confident again. He’ll be there for you no matter what, because you’ll be there for him too.

Ledger!Joker

· Now, Having J as a friend is extremely chaotic and often leads to him dragging you away to join him on some illegal adventure at 3 in the morning. Are you gonna go rob a bank or go scare the elderly? Who knows, who cares! Just get dressed and join him!

· Philosophical conversations with J are incredible. He never dismisses your ideas or thoughts of the world, encouraging you to always speak your mind, filter free. There’s no need to hide from him, ever.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Phoenix!Joker

· When he cuddles you, Arthur feels like all his problems just melt away, and therefor will not let go of your body for hours. It’s therapeutic and heals his soul in a way that his medication never could.

· His little secret is that he loves it when he’s the little spoon, or just generally being cradled by you. Lying on top of your chest just to hear your heartbeat? Absolute heaven.

· His favorite thing to do is to rub his nose in the crook of your neck and take a big breath, relishing in your scent. It makes him feel so safe and loved he could cry, and during bad days he probably has. Even after he turned into Joker, it would take a bulldozer to rip his grabby hands away from your warm body. Due to how frail and cold his body is, he’s not the epitome of a teddy bear, but the amount of love and comfort that radiate off of him is enough to make for that. It’s nothing a warm blanket can’t fix, and his kisses are the warmest all year round.

Ledger!Joker

· Now, J would never admit it, but he’s just as big of a cuddler as Arthur. I know, I know, controversial! But there is no way you can convince me that this man isn’t an attention seeking, touch starved, hug deprived needy little asshole. Having you wrap your arms around him in the middle of the night, melting into his body with a satisfied sigh, is cocaine to him. Feeling you playfully jump on his back and embrace him from behind makes J want to blow up the city for you. He’ll do it too, don’t tempt him.

· Only difference is, he much more prefers it when you initiate it- seeing you all needy and pouty for him just makes him so giddy. What’s that Y/N? You’re desperate for him? Well, I guess he can hold you in his arms, since he’s so generous...

· Of course, he’s not shy either, and will get his way if need be. If you sit more than 2 inches away from him on the couch you’re instantly pulled onto his lap, and don’t even think about falling asleep without being buried in his side. He wants to feel loved, dammit!

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Arthur’s kisses are soft and dotting, always gentle and loving. He often moans into the kiss and pulls you closer, never getting enough of you. They can be desperate and needy after a long day away from you, but they are generally very sweet and slow.

· He likes to press kisses all over your face and cheeks, liking the way you giggle as he peppers them all over you. He really cant get enough of you, and just the knowledge that he has someone in his life that enjoys being intimate with him leaves Arthur completely awed.

· He’ll take any sort of kiss from you without complaint, but his favorite is when you’re holding him from behind, either in bed or in the bath, and press a gentle one to his back. It makes him feel loved and safe, which he hadn’t felt in a long time.

Ledger!Joker

· When J kisses you, he truly does steal your breath away. All his passion, obsession and need for you are conveyed effortlessly with the way he moves against your mouth and wraps his arms around your body in a protective manner.

· Although oftentimes rough and sensual, his kisses can also be very teasing and playful. He’ll kiss your hand in a romantic manner just to see you blush and shake your head, or leave little hickeys down neck that he likes to kiss again later. He’s also not opposed to licking you, so watch out for that.

· He’ll never admit it, but he loves it when you lean up to kiss his cheek. It’s such a sweet and gentle action, something he’s not accustomed to whatsoever, and it leaves him feeling very warm and protective inside. Especially when your lips brush against his scars- knowing you love them and want to show them affection makes J want to kill for you.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Phoenix!Joker

·Arthur loves being there for children, especially the less fortunate ones. Despite how crazy and ruthless Joker can be, he would never even dream of laying a hand on a child.

· There are times when he remembers the joy that his old persona “Carnival” could bring to the sad young faces of all those kids, and it’s enough to make him grimace and reminisce on what he lost.

· He’d never expect to start a family with you while he’s out being criminal menace as a full time job, but there are times where he allows his imagination to run wild, picturing a world with a better life for the both of you, his children playing in the garden while you grow old together.

Ledger!Joker

· J... J is a bully. He doesn’t have the patience whatsoever to deal with children at all, and overall just finds their incessant questions mind-numbing. They’re not even good questions- questions that provoke a philosophical debate or reconsideration of our purpose in the universe for example- just dumb ones that can be googled in a second. Why is the sky blue? Give him a break.

· Now, He wouldn’t go out of his way to single out a child and brutally kill them- he wants his victims to fully understand their doom, and kids don’t have that level of comprehension yet- but if one of those smug little shits happened to be carrying around a balloon, ho ho! It’s getting popped on sight. You know that saying “steeling lollipops from babies?” Yeah, that’s J.

· May not be a big fan of kids, but if you ever need a top quality dead baby joke, he’s your guy!

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Having had so many jobs in his life, Arthur has adapted to waking up in the early morning with ease.

· If he has to go somewhere, he’ll quietly tiptoe around the apartment as he gets ready, careful not wake you up as he gets dressed in his red suit and applies his makeup. He’ll place a gentle kiss to your temple just before he has to leave, staring adoringly at your peaceful face for a few minutes.

· If he has nothing planned, Arthur will just lay in bed until you wake up naturally, enjoying the feeling on your arm body pressed against him.

Ledger!Joker

· J is a drama queen. Being mostly nocturnal, J doesn’t even get out of his REM sleep cycle until like 3 pm at the earliest.

· On those days where he gets woken up at, god forbid, 9 am, he’ll be so groggy and grumpy that not even coffee can save him.

· Alarm wakes him up? That’s now enemy number one. Someone outside being loud? If he had the energy, they’d be dead. And don’t think you’re getting out of bed without him either. He’ll pull you back and wrap all his limbs around you like a snake, snuggling into you so you can’t leave.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Arthur only really gets angry when someone attacks him or tries to make him feel worthless. As Joker, he’s definitely gained quite a bit of confidence, and will start a fight with strangers for the smallest of reasons, but they rarely actually make him angry.

· His patience in general is actually quite remarkable. Most of his schemes and plots take quite a while to plan out, and although he does rely on luck here and there, he puts in quite a few hours at a time to flesh out the details.

· He’ll wait as long as he needs to get what he wants. For example, it’s not like he shy’s away from stalking people, and that takes quite a bit of resilience and patience.

Ledger!Joker

· J is... an emotional man. An open book. He almost never gets angry at you- unless you do something stupid like put yourself in harms way- but everyone else? All it takes is very trivial inconveniences to get him riled up and ready to murder some poor soul on sight.

· He’ll be patient for a while if he needs to work on some elaborately villainous scheme, but after a few days of obsessing over the schematics he’ll start to get antsy and bored. He’s a man of action, who has the time for all this planning?

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Arthur would do his very best to make dates and anniversaries special. Dinner from your favorite restaurant, long walks by the place you first met, movie nights under a warm fort with intermediate pillow fights; Arthur will always find something that will put a smile on your face.

· He may not have that much money to begin with, but after adapting into his joker persona, a little bit of petty theft is nothing too unacceptable. Especially since he can use the extra cash to treat his lover to the most lavish things.

Ledger!Joker

· J would absolutely spoil you. Unfortunately due to his “job”, he has to leave you for hours or even days at a time to do his business, and he knows you tend to feel lonely in those times. So for him, date night is about you. And he’ll be damned if you don’t get the best present, meal and clown in Gotham all to yourself.

· You want your favorite snack? He’ll get you a bucket-full.

· You want that new dress you saw at the mall, but can’t afford it? Neither can he! Join him for some late-night theft and he’ll grab the garment just for you.

· You want to spend the whole night tucked away in his arms as he cuddles you for hours? “Come to daddy~”

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Arthur sometimes forgets to eat, a habit that scares you. You don’t mean to nag, but you just can’t help it when you see how thin and weak Arthur becomes after barely eating anything.

· You know he doesn’t do it on purpose, and you never hold it against him, but it does scare you when you see how weak and exhausted he gets. You make sure to always fill the cabinets with snacks and get him to eat dinner whenever he’s home, but who knows if he eats while he’s out causing panic in Gotham.

· The smoking is also a bit of an issue, but you’d rather make sure your clown is well fed before you tackle this other issue.

Ledger!Joker

· J’s teeth can be... very much a turnoff sometimes. Stained to hell with a coffee addiction and lack of hygiene, it made kissing him an experience at first.

· He soon began trying to make himself more dapper and charming just for his little one (yes you) once his need for you grew, but sometimes he just forgets. He knew his hygiene wasn’t his best quality, and he often smelled like dried blood and gasoline, so he makes sure to take a shower when he can. Plus, he figured quite quickly that you like the smell of his cologne…

· You can’t be too mad though, not with a smile so bright and yellow it matches the sun!

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Phoenix!Joker

· For Arthur, yes. When you finally admitted your feelings for him, he knew you were the first and last person who will ever give his life meaning. He would rip out his lungs if you asked- just if it meant seeing you another day.

· Leaving him would break his soul and put him in such a dark, black space that not even Joker’s red suit would have color there.

· It’s not the healthiest, and he doesn’t want to scare you away, but his obsession and need for you will never die down. He loves you, and you really do make him whole.

Ledger!Joker

· For J, his feelings aren’t that far off from Arthur’s. As his obsession with you grows, so does his adoration and glee. Everyday he finds new quirks and traits of yours that he likes, and everyday he begins to expect them, to crave them, to need them.

· He’ll find out what you like to do, what your favorite things are, what makes you truly and utterly happy, and he’ll store them in his memory to spoil you later.

· J’s love is absolutely obsessive and possessive, like a child with a doll he refuses to share even for a second, but that’s all he knows. He’ll never hurt you or lay his hands on you, but his love is nothing short of mad.

· Leaving him is not an option. Ever. He’ll do anything to ensure that you stay right in his line of sight, and putting you in a pretty glass cage is not beyond him. You make him happy, and whole- you complete him- so why would he ever throw that away?

#joker x reader #joker headcannons #ledger joker #Arthur fleck x reader #ledger joker x reader #TDK joker #my writing

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kieraswriting · 4 years ago

Text

Coffin Chapter Eighteen

Masterpost

“Sir, Liam Hart’s house has been attacked by vampires.”

“I assume he has it handled?”

“No, sir. We have some video, but as far as I know everyone that was living there is dead.”

“Oh? I’m surprised. Do we know where the vampires went?”

“No, sir. But I do have the video. We are working on identifying them.”

“Well done. Once you’re done send out an alert. I want them shot on sight.”

“Yes, sir.”

•^*^••

Roman turned his head for a second when he heard the whimper.

“Please… Please no! I-I didn’t…” came Virgil’s weak voice.

Roman had to watch the road. He wished now he wasn’t the one driving. “Is he ok, Pat?”

“No.” Patton said bitterly. Then his voice came again, a bit more normal. “He’s having nightmares. But if we wake him up he’ll be hurting even worse.”

Patton was in the backseat, cradling Virgil’s head and shoulders so that he could lay down. Roman could barely look at Virgil. He had no idea how Patton was managing it.

A stream of broken pleas fell from Virgil’s lips, interspersed with sounds so pitiful they pierced Roman’s heart.

“Shh, Virgil, I’ve got you now. It’ll be ok,” Patton soothed.

Roman spared another glance backward. Patton was running his fingers through Virgil’s hair, and his face was wet and shiny from tears.

Roman leaned a bit heavier on the gas pedal, wanting to get to their destination as quickly as possible, though he knew that even with speeding it would be several hours.

It was maybe an hour later that Roman heard a sharp gasp, and rapid breathing, that quickly became hyperventilating.

“Virgil, it’s ok, I’m here. I’ve got you now. No one is going to hurt you anymore.”

The breathing slowed down gradually, becoming ragged in the way breathing does when someone’s trying not to cry.

“Oh, Virgil, baby, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry!” Patton started crying.

And then they were both crying. Virgil’s crying was interspersed with gasps and pained noises, and Patton’s with teary reassurances.

Roman didn’t know what to do. He pulled out his phone and called Logan.

“Roman? I’m sure you know I’m very busy right now.”

“I know, I know. But Virgil’s awake.”

The sigh of relief was plain through the phone.

“He’s in a lot of pain and I don’t know what to do.”

“Ok. Try feeding him. Vampires heal quickly just after they’ve eaten.”

“Ok.”

There was some muffled talking that Roman couldn’t make out. “I’ve got to go. I’ll call again as soon as I can.”

Logan hung up.

“Patton, Logan said to feed him. It’ll help him heal.”

“O-ok,” Patton said shakily. “Ow! No, no, Virgil, it’s ok, I’m fine. I’m sorry. It’s ok. Please, just get better.”

Roman again cursed that he was the driver. He knew it was better for Patton to be back there than for him, but he still wanted to be there!

It was a good two hours later that he pulled over, needing gas and to use the bathroom.

•^*^••

Patton also would’ve liked to go inside, but he was not going to leave Virgil alone, and by the time Roman got back Virgil had drifted into a kind of semi-sleep. Patton just could not justify waking him up.

His wrist ached a bit, and it was still bleeding a little. For some reason it wasn’t healing up very quickly this time. Patton wouldn’t have minded except that seeing the blood was turning his stomach.

He ran his hand gently through Virgil’s hair, trying to give what little comfort he could.

Roman cranked the car. “You doing ok?”

Patton nodded. “Yeah. It’s, uh, it’s been a long day. A really, really long day.”

“How—“ Roman started driving. “How soon did it, start?”

Patton swallowed heavily. “Pretty soon.” He looked out the car window at the setting sun. It had been late last night, or maybe early in the morning, when his dad had started banging on their door. His day had felt stretched into a week, and he couldn’t bear to imagine what it had been like for Virgil.

“Oh,” Roman said, the same heaviness sitting in Patton’s stomach apparent in his voice.

Patton nodded, and tears started slipping down his face again. Surely he’d run out soon. There was no way he could cry this much. And it didn’t do any good! He could cry all he wanted but it wouldn’t help Virgil!

But that thought just made the tears come faster.

•^*^••

“There’s the last of them,” Logan said. “Unless you want me to drop you off somewhere.”

“Nah,” Remus said, leaned back crookedly over the seat, completely unbuckled. “I think I’ll go with Dee Dee and Thomas.”

Logan nodded. “That would make sense, if it’s really what you want to do.”

“Eh.”

It didn’t take them long to meet up with the other car, though Remus was almost disturbingly quiet during the ride.

Thomas traded with Logan, and Dee went with him and Remus. Logan got into the backseat of the car Emile was driving, and Remy was in the passenger seat.

“We’ll contact you in a week,” Logan said, and was met with a firm nod from Thomas.

Logan still didn’t like this plan. While it might keep them safe, it also weakened them in case of attack, and there was nothing they could do in terms of helping any other vampires. But it did keep them safe, probably. So it was their best bet. At least until someone came up with anything better.

•^*^••

There was almost certainly an ambush both at their house and at the farmhouse. There was no way to return to get anything.

Thomas just drove. He didn’t know where they’d be staying that night, aside from the car, but he couldn’t chance being anywhere near Liam’s house. Probably not even in the same state. Hopefully crossing state lines would be enough. Hopefully. But it might well not be.

As it turned out, Remus wasn’t the absolute worst person to have in the backseat. He kept talking almost constantly, usually about things that Thomas hoped didn’t relate to vampires. Dee scoffed and rolled his eyes at every other sentence, but Thomas caught a hint of an amused smile more than once.

•^*^••

It hurt.

It hurt. It hurt. It hurt.

It hurt .

Everything hurt.

Virgil was constantly holding back whimpers and other sounds. He didn’t want them to know. They could see him, but silver never looked as bad as it felt.

Even after he’d eaten, and could just barely distinguish the itch of healing within the sea of pain, it still hurt.

His one anchor was Patton’s hand carding softly through his hair. The only thing on his whole body that didn’t hurt.

And then the car stopped again. Virgil was hazily slipping in and out of a semi-sleep. He didn’t catch the words Patton and Roman were saying, until they tried to lift him.

Virgil let out a pained yell. His arm flailed, reaching for Patton.

“Shh, shh, it’s ok, Virgil. We need you to be quiet, ok?”

“Can’t,” Virgil choked out.

“Ok, ok. Um.”

“Here, let me, Pat. You get the other end.”

“No! Please.” Virgil started crying and pleading with them to not pick him up. It hurt. It hurt so bad!

“I’m sorry, Virgil, I’m so sorry,” Roman said, and then put a hand over his mouth. “Now, Pat.”

They lifted, and Virgil screamed against Roman’s hand.

They carried him inside somewhere, and laid him on a bed.

“There, it’s done. I’m sorry, Virgil. I am. I’m truly sorry.” Roman left a thousand apologies before the exhaustion took over the pain, and Virgil slipped again.

•^*^••

They were in a tourist town.

“Why would you pick this place?” Logan asked, when he realized that Remy was turning in to a driveway.

“Because everyone’s a stranger here babe,” Remy said quickly. “Now I’ll hop out and work my magic, you two don’t watch.”

He took off his sunglasses and slipped them on Emile, and then got out of the car. Emile immediately turned up the music.

It was a while before Remy came back out, and was followed by a small family with heaps of bags, who piled into their car and drove away.

“What is it that you tell them?” Logan asked.

Remy flashed a smile, “They've won a cruise! I am here to personally give them the address and they have to leave right away for a ninety day cruise in the Bahamas!”

“Isn’t that… needlessly cruel?” Logan asked. “They have to drive a long way for nothing, and then they’re left with no house, and less money.”

“Who said it’s nothing?” Remy said with a wink, taking his sunglasses back.

“He really does own a cruise ship somewhere,” Emile explained. “It’s not the Bahamas, but it’s pretty nice. The ship is called Remy too.”

“Have you been on it?” Logan asked.

Emile nodded. “It was a long time ago, but yeah. That’s where I met him. I actually bought my ticket, though.”

Logan nodded slowly, though, to be honest, this just raised more questions.

•^*^••

“Well, I guess it’s better than nothing,” Thomas said.

“Are you kidding? It’s perfect!” Remus was out of the car and running around like a hyperactive child.

“I don’t know what you see in it,” Dee muttered, putting the seats all the way back.

Thomas just sighed. Sleeping in his car at a state rest stop wasn’t his idea of comfortable, but it was empty, and thus probably safe. And he still had Dee. And Remus, but Remus was more a wild card than a comfort.

There were bathrooms, and a vending machine for ‘breakfast’ in the morning. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

•^*^••

Patton didn’t sleep. He almost didn’t dare touch Virgil, for fear of hurting him. He sat on the edge of the bed, gently running his fingers through Virgil’s hair, and keeping a damp washcloth for his forehead. The poor boy was hot with fever, which Patton had hoped vampires couldn’t get, but apparently they could.

“Well, silver is poison to them,” Roman had murmured. “It burns, but too much will kill them. I just hope we got him in time.”

Patton couldn’t think about what if they were too late. They had him now. Surely that was enough. They were doing everything they could. Surely. Surely he’d get better.

#sanders sides #vampire au #vampires #blood #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #emile picani #remy sleep #my own work #coffin #violence #speciesism #vampire virgil #platonic moxiety

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 4 years ago

Text

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 114 prt 1

114

It snowed as they slept, a tangle of limbs. Lance fell asleep in the bath, Keith carrying him back to the bed where he stripped off the dirty quilt and roused Lance enough to coax him under the blankets. They’d woken some time before dawn, the sex slow, sleepy and sweet, before falling back to sleep holding each other. Waking the following morning, Lance was shaking with the cold. Keith tucking the blankets around him as he fetched their gear from outside. Everywhere was dyed white. The lights on in the main cabin, but it was too early to human. Keith grabbing up their things and darting back inside, it was fucking freezing out there, barely past dawn. Sleepily Lance called to him

“Babe?”

“I’m here”

He wasn’t about to wander off naked

“It’s cold”

“I know, I’m coming back to bed now”

“‘kay... miss you”

Lance was still cold when it came time actually get up. Keith running them a warm bath. His boyfriend clinging to him as he carried him into the bathroom. He liked Lance being clingy, but those fingers of his were no joke. Getting Lance into the bath, his boyfriend whined softly when Keith didn’t join him right away. Keith hadn’t had his coffee yet, the fact Lance wasn’t dropped was a birthday miracle. Maybe he was magically cured... Nah. That wasn’t going to happen over night

“It’s alright, babe. I’m going to grab us some clothes to wear”

“Mmm, okay... but don’t be too long”

Heading back into the bedroom, Keith dumped their things out on their bed, finding Lance had hidden his present to him under all their clothes. He didn’t want to open it. Not yet. Not until he was awake to function. It was hard to ignore though. Lance had really nice handwriting, his name on a little gift card signed from his boyfriend with a heart. Forcing himself to grab them something to wear, he came back to the bathroom with the gift still on his mind. In his absence Lance started dozing in the tub... looking adorable as he did, surrounded by the bubbles that came from the provided body wash.

Joining Lance led to bath sex... Lance’s skin smooth and oily from the bubble bath, his boyfriend whining softly at the hot water slipping inside of him, not that that stopped him. It was slow sex with plenty of kisses and Lance doing the hard work. It’d taken him three and a half weeks to be intimate with Lance again. He regretted not being ready sooner, especially in the wake of Lance’s breakdown, yet his boyfriend had calmed a lot since he’d started rubbing and touching his stomach more. They were being those kinds of parents, taking photos weekly as Lance’s stomach began to grow. Not that you could tell at the moment. The small amount of pudge still looked as if Lance had eaten too much, not that he was carrying a baby. He got what Lance meant about being physical, but he was also kind of glad they hadn’t rushed into immediately upon finding out they were expecting.

Lance was more awake after they’d had sex. His boyfriend dried his hair, then wanted to dry him down, peppering kisses to Keith’s scars. Lance never pushed on them, instead he seemed to know that some had stories Keith wanted forget. His kisses like he was trying to heal the hurt behind them. When they were dressed, and Lance had had his vitamin injection, Keith carried him to the main cabin seeing they’d left Lance’s boots their the previous night, Lance holding on for dear life as Keith’s pre-coffee clumsy was strong.

In the main cabin breakfast was underway. Pidge nursing her coffee as she sat at the dining table. Kosmo was already making a pest of himself as Hunk and Shay made breakfast, his dog lolling his head back to acknowledge their existence but the call of bacon was too strong. Matt and Rieva were in front of the fireplace. Shiro and Curtis cuddles up on the sofa. This was nice... nice, but Keith felt kind of left out seeing they were the last to arrive

“We thought about sending a rescue party to find you”

Lance climbed out of his hold, shivering as his feet touched the cold wood floors

“Totally my fault. Needed a bath to warm up... stupid snow”

Lance flashed their friends a smile. Keith feeling worse about things seeing it was fake... Keeping up appearances was hard and unfair. Shiro chuckled

“It’s a cold one. Matt and Rieva were straight in front of the fireplace. There’s coffee left for Keith”

Lance kissed his cheek

“Here that, babe, you better get some coffee in you while I put my boots back on”

“Can you two not be gross before breakfast?”

Keith rolled his eyes at Pidge. She was just jealous she wasn’t here with her partner. The thought sticking with him as Lance walked over to the fireplace. Pidge wasn’t dating anyone. He hoped she didn’t feel any less wanted there, because he wanted her there

“Leave Keith alone. He’s allowed to be gross in his birthday weekend”

Flipping Shiro off, Keith cautiously shuffled into the kitchen, Shay an angel as she passed him a cup of coffee, giggling at the happiness on his face

“Shiro already warned me I better have it ready”

“Babe, he’s as bad as Pidge when doesn’t have her”

Shay giggled at being called “babe”. Lance was right. Hunk and Shay were very well suited together. Taking his first mouthful of coffee, he found it lukewarm, meaning he could drain the whole cup. Hunk noticing

“There’s coffee next to the kettle. The milk’s in the fridge. It’s lactose free, Lance made sure to tell us repeatedly, as if we forget”

“Thanks, guys. You didn’t have to go to the effort”

Pidge snorted from the table

“Dude, you’re our friend. We do nice things for the people we actually like. Everyone else can go fuck themselves”

Matt and Shiro both called out in synch

“Language!”

The kind of timing that couldn’t be brought. Grumpily Pidge leaned back in her chair, cradling her coffee

“Blow me”

“Blow you what?”

Matt was the only one game enough to mess with her. Keith making for the coffee and the kettle, dying for another cup and this time hopefully warm. This wasn’t a bad way to spend a birthday at all... Not now he had caffeine starting to drive the blood out of his caffeine system.

Feeding Lance for the morning proved slightly difficult. Shay was in the kitchen, meaning he could go pouring blood into Lance’s morning shake. Instead he had to be covert. Making like he was putting away the milk, he hovered near the fridge, pouring out too much blood into the shake cup. He then had to use both hands and some very awkward body language to hide the contents as he added the shake powder. On a cold day it was probably better for Lance to have more blood than he needed, though he didn’t know if it’d make his boyfriend short the rest of their stay. Topping the shake up with water, he snapped the lid into place, shaking it as he carried it over to Lance who was sitting near the fire now he had his boots on. A normal person would be sweating from the heat

“Babe, food”

Lance eyed the shaker bottle with defeat. Matt shaking his head as the concoction

“I don’t think I want to ask”

“Have to hide breakfast somehow”

“Leave him alone to eat in peace”

“But, babe...”

“You finish that sentence, Matthew Holt, and I’ll put you out in the snow to pee like Kosmo”

Matt pouted at Rieva. Lance shooting Rieva a smile. Keith not jealous... He wasn’t. He simply needed more coffee

“Am I making pancakes?!”

Calling out from where he’d been frying eggs and bacon, Hunk laughed as they all called back “yes”. They really felt like a weird family... a weird family that he wasn’t sure he deserved.

With the baby, work and Lance, letting himself be distracted from his birthday blues was easier this year. Lance knew his past, knew not to push and when he needed that push. Shiro hadn’t pushed... Keith still feeling down about it especially between the ultrasound and the weekend, the feeling kind of like nothing good could possibly come from it and it was all going to be a big joke. That everyone was faking caring and there’d be no cabin. He felt dumb for doubting his friends... but some things were so ingrained that all the love in the world from his friends’ wasn’t going to magically break down those walls or heal the damage in an instant. All of these people being here for him scared him. He liked all of them... and they all liked him... he found a place here and he never wanted to lose it.

Settling down at the dining table with this cup of coffee, Pidge punched him in the arm

“What did I do now?”

“Birthday punches. Normally you punch the person however many times they are old, but I need more coffee for that”

“Thanks... I think?”

“You’re welcome. I’ve got your present in my bag. What did Lance give you?”

“I haven’t opened it yet...”

“Shit. I could have gotten in first... Guys, Keith hadn’t opened anyone’s present yet! He’s still fair game”

Was that a thing?

“Pidge, leave him alone. Besides, I booked the holiday!”

“You just want Keith all to yourself. I’m into your McClain!”

“He is my boyfriend!”

“Finders keepers, losers weepers”

“Merp!”

Pidge flipped Lance off. Curtis laughing at the pair of them

“With your compatibility, I am sure you would find Keith most agreeable to keep. Though he is more compatible with Lance. You’d both murder each other over the first cup of coffee for the day”

Pidge wrinkled her nose

“If I have to share my coffee like that, you can keep him”

Lance enthusiastically claiming him

“Done! He’s mine! But I left his present in his bag...”

He didn’t need presents... He didn’t need anything. Being here with them... he’d never had this like this...

“Guys... you don’t have to give me presents. You being here is enough”

Pidge raised an eyebrow

“Dude. It’s free stuff”

“I don’t need a lot”

She wasn’t backing down

“Shut up. You do too. Now drink your coffee birthday boy”

Breakfast was loud. There were discussions and firm plans put in place for a snowball fight, and something about maybe making snow men, Hunk bragging a little about his skills. Lance hadn’t taken the delicious scents as well as the others, his boyfriend slipping off to throw up, missing the second half of things before Keith went to check on him. Hunched over the toilet, Lance smiled at him weakly

“You shouldn’t be worrying on your birthday”

“I came to check you’re okay”

“Better... just letting the cabin air a bit before... nope... never mind”

Throwing up again, his boyfriend weakly gripped the toilet as he did. Keith hated seeing him like this, and he hated he couldn’t do anything about Lance’s morning sickness. Sitting himself down behind Lance, he wrapping his arm around him, rubbing the taunt muscles of his stomach

“I feel like I should apologise”

Lance hacked and spat, sounding throughly done as he did, before letting himself relax back against Keith

“You don’t need to. You’ve done nothing wrong”

“Still...”

“Nope. It’s your birthday. None of that”

“You’re being stubborn again”

“Because I’m okay. I feel better than I have in a while... other than this...”

“This is kind of my fault”

“It takes two to make a macaroon. You should be more worried about Pidge in a snow ball fight. She shows no mercy, even to her team”

“She did seem pretty keen”

“Personally I think she can’t wait to rain hell down on Matt”

“I can see that. Are you up for it?”

“Traipsing around in the cold? Ugh... maybe I’ll umpire”

“We need one?”

“You know Pidge will accuse Matt of cheating. This wasn’t supposed to... I mean... I didn’t think it’d snow so soon”

“It’s fine...”

“Mmmm... maybe. No one made a fuss, did they?”

“Nah. Shay’s the only one who doesn’t know human food doesn’t stay down”

“I really want to bring her in to sign a non-disclosure, but she deserves a life where she doesn’t have to fear the dark”

“I think she could handle it... Hunk wants to tell her”

“It’s not fair on him”

They both fell silent for a moment, Keith rubbing at Lance’s belly. This birthday was so weird. His next birthday he’d be father...

“Babe... I know birthdays aren’t the best for you, but I hope you still make some good memories of today”

“I already am... I... kind of feel weird having everyone together because of me”

“That’s because we all love you, silly. You deserve every happy moment”

“I don’t know about that”

“Then it’s a good thing that I do. You, Keith Kogane, are loved. Very much... I’m just sorry that I’m tired”

“Was last night too much?”

“Last night was perfect. So was this morning... and this morning again... you’re a total horn dog”

“I can’t help it... you’re so cute”

Lance blushed softly. Keith’s heart doing flips

“Should I be worried you’re going to gobble me up?”

“Maybe. But if you don’t want to... I mean...”

“I like having sex with you. Even if I did worry I was going to piss myself in your lap”

“Babe, I wouldn’t really... No. You need to feel safe with me”

“I do... last night was pretty close though”

“Let me know in future. I’d rather stop than hurt you”

“I know. I think maybe I’m done. My stomach feels like it’s settling”

“That’s good. I worried I put too much blood in your shake”

“You did, but it’s alright. I needed the energy boost”

“Should I be worrying about that?”

“Nah. I’m sleepy for all the right reasons... and the fucking snow”

Keith chuckled

“You’re so much like Mami. Her showing up bundled up like that”

“Mmm... I’m definitely a tropical vampire. It was hard to hide it all when Pidge and Hunk didn’t know. Hunk used to fret so much over how cold I was...”

“I’m fretting over how cold you are”

“Ahhh, but this is perfect weather for snuggling with the birthday boy, after he wins the snow fight”

“If you’re not...”

“Don’t you finish that. I’m your boyfriend, not your keeper. Have fun with our friends. I know how much you missed them. I’m not going to be lonely laughing at you guys”

“Are you sure?”

“Yep. I’ll just borrow someone’s phone and take photos”

“You could borrow my camera”

Lance raised an eyebrow, Keith not sure why

“Your camera is your baby”

Oh... that was why

“It’s not like you’re going to drop it”

“I don’t want to risk breaking it”

“You won’t. I’ll set it up so all you have to do is point and shoot”

Lance groaned at him

“They’re going to awful compared to your skills”

“I’m not that skilled”

“Babe. Love of my life. Anger loaf and lover of Macaroon. You really are. I was totally thinking about getting you camera stuff for your birthday, and I mean, I know I remember stuff, but then they went off and started in talking in some weird language with exposure and angles and it was complicated”

“Not as complicated as legal jargon”

“Oh, that’s pretty up there... but give me a day in the courtroom over deciphering camera talk”

“That’s because you’re not used to it”

“Does that mean you’ll teach me?”

“If you want to learn”

Lance chuckled

“Not really. I’m happier watching you. Okay, let’s get off the floor. My butt’s going numb with the cold”

“We can’t have anything happening to that arse of yours. It’d be butt a tragedy”

Lance’s glare said he wasn’t amused, Keith on the hand thought himself funny. For two people so close, he couldn’t believe how calm Lance was taking things when compared to him losing it over finding Lance the perfect last minute gift. Next year he was going to be prepared.

Lance wasn’t imagining things. Shay kept looking at him like she wanted to say something, the looked away when their eyes met. They’d talked a little in the car, Shay asking how he’d been, the others must have told her he’d been, or more likely Hunk had turned to her upset over what had happened. Thanks to his life being flipped upside down again, he’d barely seen Shay as much as he used to. It sucked... and the snow really sucked.

Sitting on the veranda of the cabin, Lance watched the others playing in the snow. Keith hadn’t been keen, then had been ganged up on by Curtis and Shiro, his boyfriend tackled down and snow put down the back of his shirt. For all his yelling and complaining, Keith was laughing as hard at as everyone else. The air was still cool, but the snow had already begun to melt to slush. Kosmo was so confused to what to do, running after the balls of snow only to watch them disappear, or even worse for the poor doggo was when he thought he’d caught them onto find them vanishing like magic. He made his displeasure know as he barked, bounding around with everyone. This was how life should be. No shitty vampire “war”, and now worries. He truly hoped this would be the first in a long line of happy birthdays for his boyfriend. This time next year they’d be parents to a little Macaroon that really needed a better name.

Playing in the snow resulted in an early lunch. Lance skipping real food for a shake, the smells of breakfast still in the air, and he wanted to make an effort to keep something down. Lunch was less formal than breakfast, not that breakfast was formal. Deciding on snacks, they lounged around, Keith not keeping him warm as his boyfriend was damp from Shiro smooshing snow into his hair. Each time he went in for a hug, Lance sank back into the sofa wishing he had a blanket

“Lance, I have to ask, what’s with the shakes. You didn’t even have a proper breakfast?”

Shay finally spoke what was on her mind. Their friends all looking momentarily panicked

“I’m fine... just you know, dieting and stuff”

Shay giggled at him

“Dieting? If you diet any harder there’ll be. Nothing left of you”

“She’s right you know, you’re a twig”

Fucking Keith, Lance huffing

“I’m a manly twig. Are you’re cold. Stop trying to squish me with your coldness”

Keith laughed at him, laying back against him with that cold wet hair of his. All of them should have gone for hot showers and warm dry clothes

“You love me anyway”

“I do, but if you keep this up I might have to run away to Cuba until spring... I’m not made for cold weather”

Matt cackled at him. Stupid werewolves and their high body temperatures

“Dude, it’s not that cold. What are you going to be like when winter really sets in”

“I’m going to hibernate. Build myself a little Lance burrito and hibernate”

Keith kissed his cheek, ignoring Pidge pulling a face as he did

“Can I join in?”

“Not if you’re going to bring the cold with you. I should have grabbed my heat packs from the bag”

“Want me to grab them?”

Keith was too sweet

“Nah, just keep your frostbite to yourself. Honestly, the lot of you should have had showers and changed”

“Your age is showing, dad”

Pidge giggled at her comment. Lance sorely tempted to flip her off

“Someone’s gotta be the sane and reasonable one around here”

“As if you’re sane. I know you too well, Gremlin”

“Saner than you”

“Riiiight... I’m not the one who developed a macaroon fetish after getting out of hospital”

Lance bit down a laugh, relieved to know they didn’t suspect macaroon was a baby and not a dessert snack

“That’s right. You were in hospital. Hunk said it was an accident. Are you okay?”

Why was Shay bringing that up now?

“Yeah. I had a stomach bug and fainted. A whole lot of worry for nothing”

“Plus he’s been working in Platt...”

Hunk was trying to help, but how was he supposed to explain that? Especially when Shay looked so interested

“You’re a lawyer, right?”

#once bitten twice stupid #oncebittentwicestupid #ashratherose

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fistsoflightning · 4 years ago

Text

mune ga hachikire-sōde

my chest is about to burst.

gatheredfates’ [30 day WOL challenge] | prompt: letter

just a lil bit of catharsis for me… sort-of kind-of a follow up to holy! also @to-the-voiceless i am So Sorry for this, thank you for letting me take the linkpearl idea from this fic but also i’m really sorry for the angst again??? that playlist you made for harudewah. i am Still losing my mind over it.

also CW: a’dewah definitely has an anxiety/panic attack and it’s. kinda hard for me to read through and i was the one who wrote it? just take caution since emotions are Messy!

[ao3 mirror] (the word count rounds to about 7.5k!)

“but i find that lately i've been crying like a tall child…

...please, hurry, leave me, i can't breathe

please don't say you love me

mune ga hachikire-sōde

one word from you and i would

jump off of this ledge i'm on, baby

tell me "don't", so i can crawl back in”

- first love/late spring, mitski

it’s barely three nights after the last visit to the cabinet that a’dewah finds himself again holed up between shelves and books, studying potential ways for g’raha to infuse the damned auracite with his blood, and a’dewah has only just realized that his hands are shaking and he has a craving to teleport to doma on a whim. a small craving for salmon muffins tickles the back of his mind, but he shoves it aside.

“i suppose i should have expected this,” he sighs to no one in particular, a small wave of magic stopping the shivering in his fingers. if only he could heal away the rest. magic can only keep him running for so long, and to extend one’s waking hours like he does would be considered harmful at best and eventually fatal at worst, should he keep doing so.

whatever must be done to keep myself from doing something stupid.

it’s not hard to see him falling back into old patterns—of tiring himself out so he doesn’t think too hard about what he doesn’t want to dwell on, of slipping further and further into both avoiding his feelings and drowning in them. his old friend; that familiar hollow, needy feeling that chews at his sanity yet again as he keeps writing down formulas that might save g’raha from doing something rash that will absolutely earn him a beating from… well. a number of people in the future. that tiny, loud, intriguingly horrible idea that sits in the center of the empty warmth burning low in his chest like a lantern running on its last bits of oil.

an angry, huffy exhale escapes his otherwise tightly sealed lips. hells, that hollow feeling shouldn’t even be there in the first place; it’s not as if he had no source of comfort here on the first—he doesn’t need haruki’s attention like some fragile flower, he could just ask zaya or wyda for a hug if he really needed the warm feeling. he shouldn’t be needing to constantly argue with himself whether he should write a letter, or call, or do nothing at all.

really, what he should do is stop thinking about it, but here he is, squeezing his eyes shut and keeping his hands planted on the table. he shouldn’t want what he nearly destroyed this much, and yet—

greedy, he chides, forcing himself to hold the quill tighter so that it presses into the callus forming on the side of his finger; a quiet, grounding pain. not even elwin sounds this silly. ‘wanting’. he doesn’t particularly care for arcanima, but if it helps him in the game of tag he’s playing with his own feelings for what feels like the millionth time in his life…

a’dewah keeps writing. reaches out for a book to his left, only flicking his eyes over for a moment to see the cover he needs, and then he sees the kanai-anzen omamori sitting on top of the very book he’d been meaning to crack open next, waiting from when zaya quietly snuck over to sit with him for a few bells.

great.

the prospect of slamming his head into the damned table and giving himself a dire enough concussion so that someone in this library gets the guts to drag him to chessamile and have her put him to sleep—preferably for a long, long time—grows more enticing every moment his brain spends convincing him that making a small, short call wouldn’t be so bad. so does the idea of finding a pouch of dream powder and using as sugar in his chamomile tea later even though he knows how lengthy a lecture he’ll receive from g’raha, alphinaud, y’shtola and lunya if he does try it.

y’shtola would be disappointed in me; looking for a simple way out instead of pushing forward, he thinks, lifting his quill from the page and glaring at the small ink pool in his usually neat (doman) handwriting. he’s still not accustomed to writing with a quill but eorzean shopkeeps don’t carry calligraphy brushes, especially not ones small enough for his needs.

but someone in kugane might, he thinks and gods he just needs to get it over with otherwise he’ll never make it to tomorrow night with his sanity intact.

he leans back in the hard, wooden chair, running a hand through his too-tightly tied up hair until his fingertips brush the edges of his linkpearl earring, searching for the one that cools his burning hands like diving into a river. once he finds it, it’s almost too simple to thumb open a connection despite the larger-than-usual tug on his own aether, the gentle chiming as he waits leaving him to wonder if this was going to be another one of his mistakes. he takes a sip of his (cold, stale) tea, steals a glance back down at the damned arcanima circles, stares back up at the glass ceiling of the cabinet and counts the stars as he waits, still pushing away the wanting that suffocates his heartbeat.

the monotonous chimes give way to a whole lot of static and the quiet rustling of leaves in the wind, and a’dewah almost thinks he’s used the wrong linkpearl until a tired, gentle voice like lazy river water whispers, “hey, can you keep this quick? it’s kinda late, and i’ve had a pretty long day.”

“ruki,” a’dewah breathes out, sitting up straight in his chair as haruki gives out a small ah of surprise. his tea is definitely cold, but he feels warmed anyways, a jolt of energy restoring the clarity to his murky thoughts. “sorry, is it a bad time?”

“a little, but i really thought you were hana-chan, or tsukiko—sorry, mune fell asleep while we were out and i was a little preoccupied.” for a connection made across worlds, the quality isn’t all that bad—a result of zaya’s very long search for a good linkshell to gift him, probably—and through it he can hear running water, maybe a few splashes and the click of haruki’s sabatons against stone as he walks slowly. he’d have sped up, if a’dewah were actually there to see him. he must be at the docks of the enclave, walking home with mune cradled in his arms. “what’s up?”

“nothing, really. i just—” needed to hear your voice. wanted to take a bit of your time. craved the warm feeling that fills my chest anytime you laugh or call me sunshine. “i have a bit of down time, and thought i’d see if you were, uh, free to talk? we—last time i was dragged into treasure hunting before i’d got to catch up with you, so i was thinking we could, well, just talk.”

“for you? of course,” haruki says, and a’dewah nearly breathes out a sigh. “just lemme get mune in bed and we can ramble about our days, or… weeks? hey, is it night there too?”

a’dewah nearly says yes, but the chirping birds and first light outside the windows of the cabinet tell him otherwise… but if he says it’s early morning, like very early, will haruki just tell him to go to bed like everyone else? he lays his head down flat on the table, staring at the quill loose in his hand and the incomplete formula on the parchment in front of him longingly. he doesn’t want that. ah, and again; wanting.

“no,” he lies, steadying his voice. a little half-truth wouldn’t hurt him… hopefully. “it’s a little later than dawn, but it’s still morning.”

“er, sir a’dewah?” just his luck; moren comes around the side of the bookshelf, eyes worried and moss green hair tied into a bun—it seems the warmer weather was getting even to the recluse librarian. “the exarch requests you do sleep soon, partly on lady lanya’s behalf? i… don’t quite know how he knows your whereabouts, but he said something about requesting the help of a “hagane-san”... d-do you think he’s in need of chessamile’s sleep draughts again?”

a’dewah stifles a groan, because moren had thoroughly blown a massive hole in his lie and haruki would have heard him. plus—since when did lunya and g’raha know about his sleeping issues? why is g’raha threatening him with hanami? why is lunya so worried about him? he lifts his head from the table, somehow pulling himself together enough to smile back at moren.

“send him my deepest regards, and that i will as soon as i’ve finished here.” a’dewah points to the linkpearl earring gleaming lightly in the dim candlelight and then to his pile of papers, and moren nods before scurrying off, presumably to wherever g’raha is watching him from. gods, if he didn’t fear lunya’s wrath, he might have strongly suggested g’raha stuff it.

haruki pipes up after moren’s footsteps recede into the sounds of dawn, more worried than chiding when he says, “dewah—”

“i know, ruki, sorry, i was just—i’m in the middle of a formula and got stumped so i called instead,” a’dewah says sheepishly, picking up his quill and writing down a few more calculations before capping his inkwell. less so being stumped and more so not wanting to do it, really, but that was for him to know. “i’m getting out of the library, don’t raise your voice, remember mune has better hearing than you.” he always forgets that he isn’t a child anymore, somehow, with a booming voice and bigger lungs to talk with.

he hears a small sigh, the creaking of leather and a small squeak of metal hinges on a door accompanying it. almost amused, but still a little annoyed, and he can hear the new clack of metal boots hitting wood much clearer, the echoing distance quieter as haruki heads inside. “...go to bed; i’ll talk to you as much as you want once you’re in bed, ‘kay?”

“keep talking to me while i get back to the pendants,” he tries, a little desperate as he starts to clean his table, re-shelve the books and pick up his research. “and i promise i won’t make a stop at spagyrics to get g’raha more sleeping draughts.” a false threat; he’s not going to invite chessamile to worry herself over two miqo’te scholars losing sleep, but he… he needs haruki’s voice. wants the background noise as he makes a long walk to the other side of the crystarium, not wanting to risk aethernet travel bungling up his work. “just any old story will do.”

“sure,” haruki says, resigned and soft enough to make a’dewah feel like melting. “hey, something kinda funny happened in kugane today…”

as a’dewah quickens his stride so that he might cross the crystarium faster, passing by the aetheryte crystal that can’t take him home no matter how hard he tries, haruki regales him with the story of mune running off (worrying) and finding a great big green chicken (even more worrying) that was apparently the pet of a gigantic man named yojimbo (oh, he’s heard this tale before, with different names) and haruki having to chase him down, eventually running into hildibrand, nashu, and some poor sekiseigumi they dragged along for the ride who were also looking for yojimbo. at one point, he breaks his sentence to whisper good night to sleeping mune, whispering even softer than before and a’dewah finds himself whispering the same thing as he climbs up the steps and passes the manager of suites without even a hello. it doesn’t matter; he’s not loud enough for mune to hear him or know that his dad is talking to his uncle across the rift, and somehow that hurts more than the bruise he gets when he trips over the last step to the third floor.

“i suggest staying far away from anything involving hildibrand,” a’dewah says as he cracks open the door to find an empty suite awaiting him; wyda and tehra’ir had left for eulmore. duscha and valdis accompanied y’shtola back to rak’tika, while lumelle and elwin trekked back to the inn at journey’s head by alisaie’s side. everyone else is… on the source. “he has a knack for getting everyone into trouble.”

haruki laughs, the bright sound covering the rattling wind against the windows—it must be a summer storm rolling in for it to be that violent in less than an hour. “i know; i called hana-chan and lunya about him when i couldn’t find mune and the damn chicken and she nearly choked when i mentioned his name.” the quiet rumble of wooden drawers opening, latches being unclasped, and oh dear a’dewah needs to distract himself before he starts blushing like a drunkard. “i think ihget’sae nearly strangled him; ‘pparently lunya wrangled everyone to come investigate when she heard mune got lost in kugane-dori.”

lost in kugane-dori. even a’dewah’s a little frightened by the thought of mune getting lost, remembering what almost happened to elwin. “anyone would, really. hildibrand is…” a’dewah mumbles. he pulls his boots off and tosses them next to elwin’s sandals, hachigane and gloves placed on the countertop by syhrwyda’s new cookbooks. it takes a lot more effort than he thought it would not to just collapse into bed with his battle robe on, carefully moving to grab his kimono cardigan and pajamas from where zaya folded and placed them on the bench. “he’s a force of nature. a very dense force of nature.”

“so, like us, but… worse?”

he sounds almost hesitant, and a’dewah feels his ears pin back in slight embarrassment. “you’d have to ask hanami for her opinion. she’d described us as, er, something colorful when she realized i hadn’t told anyone i was no longer interested in g’raha. lunya overheard and, well… i feel you know us all well enough to understand just what happens when lunya finds out your secrets.”

“you didn’t tell them, ” haruki exhales in a wheezy breath. his voice is muffled momentarily by metal and leather being carefully set aside, back onto the third shelf in haruki’s closet just behind the spare miqo’te sized clothing, just for him. he usually wears his yukata to bed, and convinced a’dewah more than once to take one of his spares when he’d realized his normal sleeping attire was back home. he—rather shamefully and awfully desperate—imagines haruki digging through his closet for the right colored yukata, chest bare and shivering as a’dewah bites back a laugh of his own, remembering how he had to point a bleary, rushing haruki to where his usual clothing was when he nearly missed mune’s genealogy presentation because he kept both of them up half the night. he imagines seiryu’s scale and how it never comes off from haruki’s chest for longer than a few moments, mostly because it keeps coming back, and a’dewah can kind of hear the thrum of the auspice’s aether. he’d always jokingly stuff it in his own pocket when haruki got fussy about it, and they hadn’t realized it would stay in his pocket so long as he didn’t leave yanxia til a’dewah went with hanami to namai with it still there, sitting quietly in his robe’s pocket. “did hanami—”

“she threw me to the wolves, yes, and i can still hear lumelle and a’satina’s screech of excitement, do not laugh at me,” a’dewah says fruitlessly, since haruki’s already choking down his laughs so not to wake maki and have her yell at both of them for being rowdy at whatever time of night it is. at some point, haruki sounds like he’s inhaled helium, and that sets a’dewah off in the middle of taking off his robe, bending over and dropping one of the clasps for the chain keeping the front close and the sash tumbling to the floor.

“i—kami, i really love you,” haruki says as easily as he breathes once he catches his breath, followed by the sound of the closet door closing, the drawer rolling back into place, and his lance being set against the wall. a’dewah’s breath hitches, something more than a little terrifying starting to worm its way out from the cracks haruki’s i love you tears into his tempered walls. his cardigan feels scratchy against his skin as he sits on the too large bed, moving to grab a blanket or two as haruki resumes his routine.

and after he’s practically wrapped himself in the blankets to the point where he’s swaddled like a newborn, he mumbles, “i’m in bed.” the rumbling static climbs in volume as a small clap of thunder sounds—he wonders, briefly, if the storm is zaya’s fault somehow—but a’dewah can still hear haruki’s quiet humming, the tune familiar from when they were just ten and still tripping over the lyrics. haruki makes a small noise of affirmation, hums quieting down. he can see haruki’s eyes scrunching up, focusing in on whatever it might be.

he starts to remove the clips and pins in his hair as haruki’s softened hums keeps him company. part of him wonders if haruki’s untied his hair yet, letting the mess of turquoise and teal down from the singular hair tie he somehow keeps it all in, or if he’ll wait until he’s already in bed and about to fall asleep when he suddenly remembers about it. his fingers tingle with the feeling of carding through haruki’s hair and braiding it just to see if he could. part of him hopes haruki will let him do it again, even though the first time he’d somehow tangled up the three parts into more of a twist than a braid.

“okay! now i am too.” a loud puff of air comes through; haruki must have flopped onto the futon with his arms and legs spread out. the rustling of the blankets, even though a’dewah is certain it’s summer and there’s a rather humid storm outside. he usually pulls the covers up to his stomach, especially when haruki tugs him onto his chest and into his arms. “anyways, how was your da—er, night?”

“i was in the library for the past sixteen bells, ruki, i don’t think you want to hear about it. talk about your… your past few weeks?”

“ah, right,” he says, not at all phased by the confused tone of a’dewah’s voice. “well, i got back from gangos with a new staff for mune! i’m saving it for when he finishes his current lessons with the kojin on, er, water aether? he still doesn’t like going there alone, though; he keeps asking when you’ll come back whenever i mention it.”

“is that so?” a’dewah cracks a weak smile like haruki might see it somehow. “promise i’ll be back soon… but who made a custom staff for him?”

“oh, the bozjan resistance got… was it gerolt? well, it’s something about him being a great blacksmith perfect for reconstructing the blades of gunnhildr, and he was offering services to anyone who could get him the materials, so!”

haruki rambles on about how he’d needed to “expertly persuade” hanami into helping him out with finding the inscriptions for the weapon only to realize he couldn’t do shite since they’d have to delve into the memories of poor cid, who really deserved to have a break and a lot of tea, and with each sentence a’dewah sinks deeper into something horrible. the part of him that is selfish, craves attention and touch, seems so much colder now than it was before, the hollow pit now a yawning chasm of wanting. of yearning.

he does not deserve to be yearning for haruki’s hands running across his skin, scratching at the nape of his neck to comfort and behind his ears just for fun. love is not meant to be as one-sided as he’s making theirs, a cycle of unrequested but nonetheless cherished actions rather than one side constantly wanting and the other giving. part of him wonders if he really ever loved before, or if it was just the terrible, horrible monster inhabiting the same space as him craving affection and getting it however it could, wringing it from the people a’dewah cared for.

(did his short-lived love for g’raha feel as twisted as the garden of emotions he grows in his chest for haruki? or was this what being loved and loving in return felt like?)

he bites his lip as haruki mentions a few other things he’s had happen in the time a’dewah’s been away—a very lovingly made omamori from mune, complete with a cat charm that sounds terrifying to him that lunya chose out, something about meeting tsukiko in her civilian clothing and her panicking, a visit from seiryu and suzaku inquiring to his and hanami’s whereabouts that spooked shomi and maki for a precious few seconds, a conversation with someone who said how people dream to stay with someone even in sleep—and tries not to wish for too much. even with suzaku’s blessings, his heart was still weaker; if he stressed about how good a partner he was to haruki, he might die here without ever seeing him again.

he’s probably exaggerating a little, but he’s got that odd feeling he’s going to die soon. just a little.

when haruki finishes going on about his incredibly interesting past few moons, a comfortable, smothering silence begins. a’dewah shuffles himself about so his tail isn’t suffocated under the blanket, whipping about slowly. “hey, are… are maki-san and shomi-san still, er, angry at me?”

“you really can drop the honorific, dewah,” haruki chides quietly. “but! no. not really. mother might talk to you about communicating when you come back, but you’ll be fine.” it sounds an awful lot like i won’t let them hurt you, which is stupid; they’re haruki’s mothers, they wouldn’t hurt him intentionally—but a’dewah is much softer than the stuff aymeric and hanami and haruki are made of. a golden heart, haruki says, but gold is soft. malleable. melts, under enough heat, and he is already filled with enough molten feelings to rival the sun’s heat. a’dewah is fairly certain he will melt if he damages his relationship to the haganes more than he already has, the solar flares of regret and guilt worse than any magical red lilies he could conjure.

he wants and yet he fears what he craves, left wondering which part of him is the broken bit that needs to be healed so that he might be able to just ask for it instead.

“i… er, don’t believe you, really… but i miss all of you,” a’dewah admits, feeling a bit smaller and colder than before. then, a quieter, less sure thought that really has no business bothering him: “e-except maybe itomi-san, even though she d-doesn’t really count?”

“well, y’know, she and naonaka kinda disowned themselves, so you’ll be fine.” haruki’s voice drops a smidge into bitterness—well, that wasn’t what he meant to do, curse his stupid mouth—but haruki recovers easily. he always has. “homesick for here, huh? tell you what; you can list what you miss the most, and i’ll see if i can get hana-chan to carry it over for you. maybe a’khebica has some ideas.”

“i don’t—it’s. what i miss from there isn’t, er, something hanami can bring through the rift. khebica wouldn’t know, either.”

“well, the offer still stands; i might be able to arrange something,” haruki says, and a’dewah just knows he is winking to his ceiling with a gleaming grin across his face like a’dewah can see him, and in a way, he can. it takes everything he has not to groan and smile at the goofy thought in return.

even if he did list what he missed so much about home, he’d just sound so desperate because what he misses most is haruki. for the past four years he’s been confined to the first it’s been haunting him just how much he’d relied on haruki’s energy to fuel his own once garlemald started pressing down on them double time, wondering if any of his strength was really his own. he wants what the letters they send back and forth describe; the quiet nights spent in each others’ company, the adventures in eorzea he promised, the hugs and kisses and that one dance haruki really wants him to do, the garden they’ve been caring for since he’s been gone.

lunya had offhandedly mentioned, once, how he and haruki wrote to each other like a married couple in their honeymooning phase, and he flushed a brighter red than dalamud not because she implied they were married but because he really, really wanted that more than he should. a step too far too soon, especially with the empire breathing down the warrior of lights’ necks, but fuck he really wanted to promise his future to haruki even if he didn’t know how much longer he would live just because it felt more right than everything else a’dewah could have done.

he wants too much. greedy, needy, childish wants. he just wanted to be loved for so long, and now that he has it he wants more. wanton.

“i can’t quite think of anything,” he lies through his teeth even though what he really wanted to say was i want to be yours, forever because he is and will always be a coward. “but if i figure something out i’ll tell you.”

for all his perceptiveness when a’dewah is sitting in front of him, haruki doesn’t seem to be able to pick up on him feeding both of them lies through linkpearl. maybe something to do with the interference. “‘kay.” the silence rolls back in, like an early morning fog that chills a’dewah because he knows what he’s dreading is hiding in that fog.

please don’t say you love me, a’dewah pleads even though that’s exactly what he wants to hear. i don’t want this to end, i want to listen to your voice for so much longer, i want to hear about you, i want, i want—

he must have pissed off some sort of kami of misfortune, because the very next thing haruki whispers to him, so sweet and kind and not at all knowing what he’s doing to a’dewah’s heart, is “i love you, dewah.”

“...l-love you too, ruki,” he barely manages to say, not even toying with the idea of saying love you more like usual, and oh he’s starting to cry, how embarrassing. it takes everything he has to clamp his hand over his traitorous mouth and patiently wait for haruki to end the connection, pull the blankets over his chest and go to sleep while a’dewah fights with the monster leaping out of the holes in his greedy, greedy heart.

for a moment, haruki goes quiet, only soft breathing coming over the aetheric connection, and a’dewah thinks he might be asleep. he… hopes haruki is asleep; he doesn’t know what he’d do if haruki heard him, really.

and then of course a’dewah’s fingers slip, a loud sob that sounds more like a dying cat than him tearing through the cracks, and the silent turmoil is broken as haruki obviously gets pulled from the beginnings of sleep.

“...sunshine?” haruki asks, sleep fogging up his voice and a’dewah stupidly opens his mouth to respond which only lets out a whimper instead of it’s fine , and gods he’s a horrible, horrible mess, why is he like this . it’s not fair of him to keep asking for haruki to talk him down from the edge, to cry every time he calls and expect haruki to pick up the pieces when they both know hearing him crumbles hurts both of them. “dewah? was that noise you?”

and on the other end, a’dewah can hear the rustling of blankets being pushed off—shite, he’s keeping haruki up by being a child about this—and haruki’s hands slapping onto his bedding in a light thump as he pushes himself up in fear. “what’s wrong,” haruki says so kindly and fuck, he’s crying harder now and a’dewah was already teetering on edge of something completely and entirely disastrous before he did this, why did he do this again? “did something happen?”

everything is happening at once, more like.

“i don—i don’t know,” he cries, wrapping his arms around his head like he used to when prisca would say stop crying like it would keep him safe from his own thoughts… but haruki’s not prisca and he’s using his time for him instead of for himself so why is this even happening, he shouldn’t be panicking. the blanket tangles around him, comfort twisted into a trap and a’dewah feels like he’s drowning. “i wish i did but i don’t and i’m so sorry please just end the call i need you to sleep—”

part of him is screaming please don’t leave me alone and the other part wails don’t listen to me cry again, i can’t be good for your health while a third, utterly confused bit of him sits trapped in the middle, hunkered down. the monster a’dewah has been running from has opened its maw and spews out all the things he utterly craves but ultimately does not deserve from life, threatening to swallow him whole and permanently, this time.

“sunshine, i’m not going to let you be alone when you’re crying like that,” haruki says, and a’dewah can’t tell if it’s pity or disappointment pouring through the linkpearl but he hates it, please just leave him here to suffer. “unfortunately, you’ve found a very stubborn person to date.”

he knows, but he also knows haruki knows danger when he hears it, so why doesn’t he run from this?

because he loves you, part of him thinks in mune’s voice, remembering the comfort the little raen boy could bring in four words when a’dewah looked worried in the middle of teaching him something and gods, since when was a child more emotionally mature than him?

maybe because you never got the chance to be a kid and grow up normally, he thinks again, teetering dangerously close to hyperventilating as he practically strangles his fingers in his tangled hair.

he has absolutely zero clue what haruki has been saying for the past few moments, evident in the rising worry seeping through haruki’s usually calm, energetic, happy voice. “love, i need you to breathe,” he coos, and a’dewah hisses, lungs not working with him no matter how much he wants to listen, his wanting finally turning on its head. “here; listen to me. follow, please, i can’t help you if you hyperventilate.”

he’s extremely glad past him had the forethought to tell haruki a bit about how he deals with scared patients, because he remembers to murmur in, breath deep, out, breathe out, and even though a’dewah chokes on his own air he can catch up. i’m here, i’m here, haruki hisses between breaths, and hells open, heavens weep, if he wasn’t already crying his dedication to making sure he’s alright rather than listening and cutting the call would have made him weep.

“hey, sh-sh-sh,” haruki coos once a’dewah’s breaths sound less like desperate gasps for air and more like struggling to breath past the fat tears streaming down his face. “i won’t leave you alone, you can pretend i’m there next to you until you can actually lie down next to me again.”

but you know i’m no good at playing pretend. he can’t believe himself, sobbing and wrapping himself further under his blanket and letting the fluffy, stuffy feeling wrap around him in some poor facsimile of being hugged. nothing here could possibly measure up to the feeling he so desperately craves, even though it’s just being in haruki’s arms. all he really wants is a hug. imagine that.

gods, it must be killing haruki to listen to a’dewah sob like he’s dying—he’s never going to tell haruki that he actually died, a bolt of ice piercing through his chest and suzaku’s feather on a staff he had no access trying to save him once more—and he has half a mind to cut the connection between linkpearls just to save one of them from being in pain but his arm makes the executive decision to try and rip his hair out instead. he almost never has control over himself when he’s blubbering, so he’s not so much surprised as he is sickened by his lack of restraint.

“i—” he chokes on the words, a hiccuping gasp shocking both of them. “i’m s-orry, i didn’t mean t’ pull you back from sleeping.”

his chest feels like there’s a thousand ponze weight crushing it down into dust, his emotions becoming too much like they always do, inevitably. in a better universe, maybe he would have had the restraint to let haruki go to sleep first, cut the call, and be miserable on his own until wyda came back, or duscha decided to return because he somehow always knew when he’d break down next. so did krile. maybe there’s just something innately motherly about scholars when it comes to their younger peers (was krile older than him?).

“i wasn’t meaning to pass out then and there, dewah, but i’m sorry for making you think i was going to leave you hanging like that.” haruki makes a little noise that sounds like oh dear, followed by the quiet ripping of fabric. did he clench his sheets so hard his nails tore into them? “i had a feeling something was wrong from the moment you said you called because you had time.”

well then. isn’t that a bit embarrassing, to be found out from the beginning. “i shouldn’t have called.”

“but you did, and i’m very glad for it,” haruki answers honestly, and a’dewah can imagine him sitting, a little hunched over and relieved, eyes half-lidded and foggy with sleep, because he’s always been one to work himself down to the bone and pass out, and a’dewah’s been keeping him up for stupid reasons, this time. “you deserve to feel okay, and i don’t mind losing a lil sleep over it.”

a’dewah doesn’t deserve anything, really, but he’ll take what haruki gives just because he doesn’t want to be rude when he’s offering support so kindly. even if it’s exactly what he’s craving—comfort. haruki knows him too well and one day it’s going to get him killed, either from heartbreak when a’dewah screws up for the last time or from actual danger when a’dewah gets the haganes in trouble by being a public figure with a very peculiar lover and an adorable nephew that also happen to be related to another warrior of light.

“ruki, go to bed.” he curls up into his pillow, poking his head through a hole in the tangles of the blanket to breathe. he’ll just stay up until his stomach rights itself and the sickening dread-guilt sets in, something more comfortable than panic and safer than feeling content, because when he wakes up he absolutely won’t be okay no matter what.

“no, dewah, i think i won’t go to bed if you don’t too."

fuck, please don’t start this. “i—no, ruki, you can’t stay up on account of me being emotional, i’ll be—”

haruki scoffs, though more at the stifling tension and the lie than at a’dewah himself. “fine? please don’t lie to me. don’t close off again.”

“b-but… it’s not fair to you,” he croaks out, finally, throat raspy and dry. “to keep asking you to care for me when i break down. you—you’re not supposed to constantly have to listen to me cry, not when it hurts both of us because listening to someone you love in pain is horrible, horrible work.” he had experience with listening—watching over someone as they writhed in pain and knowing there was nothing he could do but watch if he didn’t want to harm them. he’d done it a thousand times before, and would do so a thousand more so long as the world needed heroes and wars. walking around amaurot besides hanami and zaya nearly tore his heart in two because no matter how afraid of them he might be they were suffering the whole time and even when he was pulled from the rift by g’raha and could heal again he couldn’t stop their pain as they all valiantly fought emet-selch. “let me just be fine, let me learn to take care of myself.”

he doesn’t want haruki to have to care for someone broken as him when the dirty work could easily be done by himself. he might be a caretaker by—not by nature, but by experience —but even the most stalwart caretakers have their limits and by nophica’s grace he does not want to be the straw that breaks haruki’s back. if haruki ever got tired of him, because everyone gets tired of a stubborn crybaby eventually no matter how much they love the person they can be, he wouldn’t know what to do. he’s too reliant, acting like a child when really he’s an adult, and it isn’t healthy for either of them to be like this.

a’dewah doesn’t want to leave but if his solar flares of emotions are hurting haruki he’d rather jump into the ocean and be extinguished forever instead.

“well, most people learn best by example. breathe,” haruki says, quiet even as the storm outside his home rages. he takes as deep a breath as he can, listening to haruki breathe with him. “can you name one person, besides me, all of balefire, and the scions, that has shown you how to care for yourself?”

haruki leaves him in strenuous silence as he thinks, still there but waiting. he almost says my parents, but the last time he saw them was when he was eight, long since buried and he’s nearly thirty-six now—and really, did the nunh of any tribe really care for his sons past their strength, of which he had none because khebica said he’d inherited their mother’s love for the elements. mahja and tahja were too busy trying not to be a burden for him, atoh and vahno were both too young and needed to be cared for first, khebica was taught to care for herself first after what happened to her, and he was the only one castrum fluminis wanted anyhow and they nearly broke him before he was eighteen so who else? tsukiko was still too afraid of yudai, louisoix had so many others to look for first, e-sumi-yan didn’t even know—

“...i. i don’t know,” he says, and the revelation nearly shatters him. even among the people haruki had him exclude, he’d only just started letting them fuss about his wellbeing, except... “you might—you were the first. for a while, the only person i let try. you were just too—too...”

“persistent? thank you, it’s one of my strengths,” he says, a smile leaking through the crackling connection that makes a’dewah’s chest stutter in its rise and fall. “and besides, when i first saw you in that rice paddy i seriously got worried ‘cause i saw kotone almost drown there that same day. you were so much shorter, too.”

“ hey, i w-wasn’t that short then.”

“were too. anyways, you kinda proved my point. let me help, because i want to, and i’m sure you’ll be able to do it on your own soon. i want you to get better,” haruki promises, and the words a’dewah turns over in his head have a cool warmth to them, like diving into the one river in summer. something distinct, grounding. loving. “and if it means i have to share your pain, so be it. i can take a fair amount.”

great; he’s going to cry again, all because haruki loves him too damn much and he doesn’t know how to deal with it all, an ocean’s worth of devotion and promises poured into his hands and leaking through his fingers.

“i—i did warn you that this stuff is horrible, right? i don’t want you to get hurt from my issues,” a’dewah murmurs, hands grasping uselessly at his cardigan’s sleeves and fingers cramping from it all.

“yeah, and? it’s you. there’s not a lot that can keep me from helping you, save this damned soul-ghost situation. no matter what comes up, you’re stuck with me for the near future.”

a shaky breath on both sides, trying to survive the last few tremors of a’dewah’s fragile temperament. fabric rustling on haruki’s end; good, he must be tucking himself back under the covers, albeit gingerly. the guilt might eat at him later, if haruki says he didn’t sleep well, but for now the weirdly soothing thought of you’re stuck with me smooths the prickly bits in his chest back down.

“i have an idea.” haruki shifts, horn with his linkpearl brushing against his pillow. maybe he’s looking out the window, or looking out his door to check if he’d woken someone up in talking sense back into a’dewah. “we can keep the connection open ‘til morning; i’ve got aether to spare and you’ve even more than i do, right? it’ll be kinda like waking up next to each other,” haruki says soothingly, even though it won’t be like he says because a’dewah won’t be able to turn over and laugh at haruki’s bedhead, won’t be able to lazily pull haruki’s arm over his shoulders and feel safe. “we’ve got similar sleep schedules. it shouldn’t be too hard compared to saving the world.”

“i—i know what you mean, but…” what if when i wake up hearing your voice but not seeing you beside me just makes it worse, he would say if he had the guts, but all of those had jumped out the window with common sense when he made this damned call.

and yet haruki just knows him too well and answers anyways. “hey, it’ll be fine. think of it this way; part of me is always thinking about you, even if i don’t realize it, so just think of me,” haruki says, and a’dewah already knows where he’s going with this but isn’t that a thing they all reserve for mune, who is starting to grow up faster than they can keep up with? “and i’ll be there with you, always, because i trust you with my heart—and if that isn’t enough, i’m still just a call away, right?”

“r-right,” a’dewah whispers back, eyes brimming this time not with pained tears but happy ones, not even knowing how much he needed that little bit of permission until now. his heart is finally settling, after three or four nights of restless searching, restless wanting , simmering quietly in its proper place rather than leaving him hollow and melting. “and... i trust you with mine.”

neither of them have to say it, but even with the rain pouring down by haruki’s window and the winds outside a’dewah’s the silence coming over the linkpearl finally feels calm.

haruki’s next yawn is loud, and a’dewah can hear the tension melt from his voice like frost in spring and silver dew from plants in summer. “d’you think you can sleep now? or… should i serenade—”

his voice is utterly wrecked, but he somehow manages to yowl, “i can sleep fine!”

haruki’s bubbling laughter rises with the thunder outside his house, filling a’dewah with liquid gold warmth—not molten, but soothing, comforting, home. no longer threatening to melt him from the inside out but strengthening, and he can feel himself blushing at the thought of warm hugs just like this even though it’s not all that much, in the grand scheme of things.

when both of them manage to calm down—haruki from his ever bubbling joy and a’dewah from his constant state of embarrassment when it comes to haruki—it’s not too much for a’dewah to rub his eyes one last time and simmer in the dark warmth sitting further inside his chest, no longer threatening to overtake him for now. not bright, like his magic and the light and the harsh sun. dark, like the sunless sea and the stars and shooting stars overlapping, even if two of those things aren’t quite dark.

for someone proficient in white magic, it feels safer in the dark than the light.

“i miss you,” he whispers even though he has a feeling haruki found a way to laugh himself to sleep—oh, no, his breath hitches when a’dewah hiccups in an ugly croak, gods why does haruki find him attractive despite all of this—thinking of teals and oranges and fireflies that light up the white scales lining haruki’s jawline. “and i think i always will, a little bit. i want to be yours forever.”

there, he’s said it; i want. the simmering, unknown dark cools off, no longer warbling his voice, and his eyes start to feel heavy as adrenaline bubbles away.

“i could say the same, dewah,” haruki whispers back, words fraying as a’dewah’s past few days of running catch up to him, finally. “i miss you too, but you’ll be back soon, so for now? sleep tight.”

and he does, the tinny sounds of haruki’s breathing evening out lulling him to his dreams where he isn’t so far away from home.

#ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #seaswolchallenge #a'dewah tia #haruki #s: sitting in a persimmon tree #my writing #hey so im sorry for emotional damages?#but if i have to be cursed by the inevitable linkpearl idea so do you #luckily! there's gonna be a fluffy/crack/joke fic version. do with that info what you will >:3 #tales from the blue

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razorblade180 · 5 years ago

Text

Lasting Embers pt23: Difficult Decisions

[Menagerie, Oasis]

It’s still early out; every still lays in bed asleep. All except for Jael who’s just floating in her room thinking about the future; her future. The entrance exam to be accepted into beacon is only a month away. Her dream of freedom and her father’s blessing is only a month away. One more month until she meets her...

Jael:(A mere thirty more days and then my real test begins. I thought I’d feel more anxious but I don’t. Maybe I’m finally comfortable with my progress; hope I didn’t over train for this. Wouldn’t be fun if the other applicants weren’t up to par. Oh well, as long as the one I care about does. She’s hogged my father long enough so she better.)

She scrunches her face before taking a breath to relax. Floating is supposed to relieve the pressure constantly on her heart and clear her head. Getting riled up serves no purpose; a Taurus knows that lesson well.

Jael:(Now now Jael, no need to tense up. Keep an open mind like father said; I don’t know her. I know of her, that’s not the same. I’ll get the chance to evaluate her soon enough. Maybe dad can tell me more about her when he gets back ho-)

*whimpers*

Jael:Huh? *floating to her feet* was that, crying? The only ones here is mom and....*gasp*

Without further delay she rushes out her and to her sister’s old room. She had forgotten that she’s home for awhile just like Adam. Sure enough, Sienna layed in her bed tossing and turning as tear marks stained her face. No doubt from her nightmare.

Jael:Sienna, get up *shaking her* come on You’re having another nightmare. Wake up and it goes away like always.

Sienna:Please....*sniffling* don’t take him please...! I....I need him! I need-

Jael:Sienna!

The tiger faunus jumped awake with her class fully out and dangerously close to Jael’s neck. Good thing this isn’t her first rodeo; her older sister’s arm was already grabbed the wrist and was weighing it down. Cat like reflexes or not, gravity had a part to play in everything. Even the frown her big sis currently had.

Sienna:I’m....*huff*I’m sorry.....

Jael:It’s alright *holding her hand* I’m used to it. Didn’t know you still got nightmares; the mines?

Sienna:*nods* Every so often I see myself as that scared little six year old kid again. Lately it’s a bad omen when I get this nightmare. Hopefully pops is okay. With Ilia gone I can’t go on missions. Just because I’m new doesn’t mean I should be kept out of the loop.

Jael:I’m sure everything is okay. He’s just supposed to be escorting Blake to see her friends. Then they’ll be back home in no time and we can finally spend some quality time with dad that’s not about work.

Sienna:Heh, haven’t had that in awhile.

Jael:Well there’s gonna be plenty of it this month; my days are numbered her. So I guess we better start right now. *smirking*

Sienna:I know that look. Jael you better not-ahh!

Suddenly the of them are suspended in the air. Jael pulls her sister into a hug and curls up underneath her; closing her eyes.

Jael:Try sleeping like this; does wonders for me. *yawn* by the time we wake up....dad will be home....before you......Zzzzzzz...

Sienna:...*smiles and holds her close* Fine, you when this one you little trouble maker. I’ll follow your lead. *dozing off* this is pretty.....pretty.... zzzzzz

Jacquelyn stamds in the door way as she quietly leaves with a smile.

[Tai’s house]

The living room is devoid of sound except for ticking of a clock. All of our well known huntsman remain motionless as they stare at Yang. Her eyes fixated on the door her daughter hastily went out of. Seconds felt like hours until she finally snapped out of her trance and grabbed the doorknob.

Ruby:Yang....

Yang:I have to go after her...

Ruby:Yang we have to figure out who’s going to-

Yang:That can wait! I’m going to find Yujin and-

Jaune:*holding her close* Yang, she needs time to process all of this. There’s nothing you can say or do now that can reach her.

Yang let’s go of the door knob slowly. She returns to the couch in defeat; gripping her knees.

Yang:Neo, are you sure that map is accurate. Isn’t there any chance he strung you along or-

Neo:Torture is complex thing to do. People who beg for mercy and ready to talk after a few minutes usually tell the truth; they can’t take pain. Jericho lasted hours. People like that might say anything when they’ve had enough.

Weiss:So, all this might be a complete hoax.

Neo:Unfortunately no. Anytime it takes that long I become extremely thorough. I still keep going with the torture after the answers he gave until any lies were wiped away. *places another map with one hundred X’s* these were the locations he gave me at first. As you can see, they don’t match up with the first one I showed you.

Weiss:He already tried lying to you....

Neo:More than once; dozens of other fake maps are in the ship. This, this is the real deal. 87 bases and I’ve already had a few confirmed to be legit. Sorry everyone, wish I could bring better news. I’m...I’m going to get some air. *steps outside*

Ruby:Is she alright?

Adam:Neo is excellent at what she does but that doesn’t mean she likes it. Torture like that will churn anybody’s stomach. She’ll be fine.

Blake:Back to the topic at hand then; who’s leaving?

The uncomfortable silence once again fills the room but only for a few minutes before everyone gathers there thoughts and steals their convictions. Running into a war has no one scared; the challenge is stopping people from going...

Ruby:I’m still heading out and that’s final. I’m not going to sit at here when I’m part of the reason we’re in this situation.

Weiss:I’m going too. Atlas doesn’t really need me for anything and no way I’m letting my partner do this solo.

Ruby:*smiles* That’s two people; anyone else.

Jaune:I-

Ruby:Don’t even.....

Yang:Yujin will be just as angry. Besides, you haven’t done intense missions in awhile. Like it or not, you’re a bit rusty.

Jaune:You act like I don’t know how to adapt. This mission needs a strategist.

Adam:Which is why I’ll go...

.........

Blake:Absolutely not!

Adam:Strategy, peak fighting condition, I’ve been all over Remnant’s most secretive places; frankly I should’ve been helping the first time around.

Blake:Do you realize what you’re suggesting? If somehow authorities tie you to this then it’s over for you.

Adam:I’ve been traveling regularly for over ten years. This will be no different from the jobs I already do Blake.

Blake:But-

Adam:You can’t go because your people just got you back. Sun can’t go because it’ll look suspicious. I’m perfect for this job.

Blake:And if you die on it? You promised to spend time with Jael remember?

Adam:.....

Yang:Uhhh “Jail?”

Adam:She’s my other daughter I mentioned. Same age as Yujin....

Yang:*eyes widened*....

Blake:You know this might crush her right? Scarcely coming home was hard enough for her as it is.

Adam:Sigh...*leans against the wall* I know this but......this is something I have to do. The cult came to my home once; that’s one too many.

Blake:.....You’re not gonna change your mind are you?

Adam:Sorry, minds made up. I just hope Jael can handle the news. Actually, I hope all of them can; I’m in for a ear full.....

Yang:.....

Raven:Well if he’s going then so am I. I’ve been itching to face these people.

Tai:What!?

Ruby:I think you’re forgetting that maidens are also something they want Aunt Raven. Dead, controlled, or otherwise.

Raven:*shrugs* Sounds like the same old song and dance to me. Adam isn’t the only one who wishes to have gone the first time.

Yang:Don’t be like that mom. Making sure things were fine here was important too.

Raven:You put life as you know it on hold for Yujin. I should’ve done the same for you. Besides, I bet Qrow would’ve done the same if... if our roles were reversed.

Tai:*holds her hand* So....trying to go off again. *smirks*

Raven:Yeah uhhhh.....I’ll be honest. Don’t know how to take the sting out this. It won’t be like before I promise! Ruby will hold me to that and- ow!

Tai:*flicking her forehead* Be safe Raven. Kick enough ass for the both of us. For Qrow too.

Raven:They won’t know what hit em. A bit a magic and a map might just be what we need to turn a ten year manhunt into something way more tolerable. I’m guessing two years maybe?

Nora:We’ll make it one. I...I want to go too.

Ren:......

Nora:You don’t have anything you want to say to that?

Ren:Sigh.... I’ve been attacked, you’ve been attacked twice, and our son is on that list despite our best efforts. Trying to remain under the radar clearly hasn’t been working. If this is what you want to do then go for it. I’d offer too but I’m still no good in a fight like this. Looks like my treatment has to be put on hold. Tenzen and I can-

Tenzen:You’re going to get that surgery

No one heard him walking upstairs or even going down them but there he was sitting on the first few steps. The look on his face showed a calm but clearly exhausted demeanor thanks to his body still healing his injuries. His presence welcomed by everyone with relief of him finally being awake.

Tenzen:Sorry I didn’t say anything earlier. Yujin was supposed to make me some food but when I heard the door slam I walked down and- *hugged tightly*

Nora:Thank the stars you’re alright!

Ren:You has me so worried!

Tenzen:Ribs...ugh my ribs!!!!

Ren and Nora:*let go* Sorry....

Tenzen:*rubbing his side* I guess the pain means I’m alive at least. Thanks Mr.Arc, wouldn’t be up on my feet as fast without you.

Jaune:There would be less people in this room without you.

Emerald:We should be the one thanking you.

Mercury:Seriously, we owe you one.

Tenzen:*smiles* If that’s the case, can you guys escort my dad while on his trip? Then when he’s done, watch his back on the battlefield?

Mercury:Huh?

Tenzen:*looks at his parents* I think both of you guys should go after the cult.

With ten simple words he got the undivided attention of everyone. His mind and surprising opinion created the same atmosphere he gets from his fans. Right now, he owns the floor.

Jaune:I take it you have some sort of plan in your head?

Tenzen:Not really a plan but just facts I guess. Beacon has an entrance exam in a month and I doubt another attack would come so soon. If I- when I pass the exam I get to live at the most guarded school Remnant has to offer; I’ll be safe. Dad getting healed and meeting up with the rest of you afterwards could make a difference. Eight people is better than five.

Weiss:He has a point...

Ren:Maybe so, but a month alone?

Nora:Anything could happen in that time.

Tenzen:It’ll be fine. I’ll stay at home and I know how how everything works. I’m sixteen, not twelve. Frankly my biggest problem will be boredom hehe.

Ren:What if-

Tenzen:I want this fight over with already....that dude hurt you both and seem to enjoy it. *clenches his fist* the cult needs to know....they need to know they messed with with the wrong family. *looks around the room* they messed with the wrong families.

Ren:Nora I don’t think he’s going to back down from this.

Nora:......A video per day.

Tenzen:What?

Nora:I want you to upload one video per day and without fail until you make into Beacon. If I don’t see one while I’m away then I’m going to assume something is wrong and be a complete mess you understand? *sniff*

Tenzen:....Yes ma’am. *hugs her* can’t disappoint my biggest fan can I.

Emerald:Guess it’s settled then.

Tenzen:Sorry I just sort of drafted you guys into going hehe.

Mercury:I was gonna volunteer anyways. Payback sounds really satisfying instead of twiddling my thumbs.

Yang:Guess I’m the only one left to decide huh?

As fast as the mood was lightened, it was gone again with that question. No one would ask her to join given the circumstances but she also knew just how much she could make a difference. The unwavering strength behind many of team RWBY’s successes ever since they were formed. Paired with her sister’s indomitable will and Weiss’s brilliance in synchronized moves, surely they could all compensate for Blake’s unfortunate absence. Especially with Adam most likely taking her place as her partner; it would be the obvious choice. Six well versed fighters working together until three more show up to keep the momentum going. Sure they could probably achieve the same results with without her, but what if they couldn’t? Who looks out for the fifth person? All of these thoughts fill her head has she tries to keep it together; taking slow breaths to prevent what would be a serious panic attack.

Yang:I.....I.....

Adam:Let’s give this a week.

Blake:Huh?

Adam:We should all return to homes and prepare and say our goodbyes. Then meet up again in a week. Those who show up will go on with the mission. If anyone decided to change their minds within the week then so be it; can’t fault anybody who does. Sounds fair right?

Yang:*staring down at the floor*Sounds fair...

Ruby:We’ll meet at the train station that leads right out of Vale and into the rest of Anima. That way no one has to travel back here. I love how our house is out of the way but it would also be the prime spot to get attacked if somehow the cult catches wind of us. No more private transportation either; it needs to look like we could be at anyplace or still at home.

Weiss:Just when I got used to flying first class again. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. *leaving* better go tell Whitley and Winter to cancel their plans for a week. Their about to get a decades worth of sibling love in seven days. Also, don’t worry about money too much; the Schnee secret account has enough for ten life times. *closes the door*

Neo sits on the porch holding a bucket. Her face a little pale and sweaty.

Weiss:Are you okay? I could give you a lift back h-

Neo:The body is still in the ship. I wanted to get rid of it before you were done but.....*heaving over the bucket* I don’t think I can look at what’s left of him again.

Weiss:*Picks her up* don’t worry about it. I was gonna get rid of the ship itself anyways. Let’s get some food and head out.

Neo:Thank you.....

Back inside the house Blake and Adam begin to leave as well. Nora and Ren also begin to get escorted by Mercury and Emerald.

Yang:Adam....

Adam:Hmm?

Yang:.....thanks.

Adam:*nods* It’s in your hands now. Word of advice, your daughter will feel hurt no matter your decision. So pick the one that you truly feel is right, then do everything you can to ease the pain of the path you don’t decide.

Yang:Meaning......

Adam:Fill the void. *Walks out*

Blake:Take care, menagerie will always be a haven if you need to regroup. *walks out*

Ruby:We’ll keep that in mind; see ya.

Jaune:I’d hate to be a bother but can Tenzen stay back a little while longer? It might be best for Yang and I to stay here a bit longer but...

Tenzen:Of course I’ll check on Jin. If that’s okay I mean.

Tai:I’ll take him home so you two don’t have to worry about him being alone.

Nora:.....

Tenzen:......*smiles*

Nora:Sigh......be safe and please take things slow for once? You’re injured and haven’t eaten yet.

Ren:speaking of eating...*pulls out granola bar* can you actually grab it on your way out this time?

Tenzen:*takes it* This would’ve been useful earlier. Love you both. *hugs them both and runs out the door* (Next stop, Jin’s place. Probably not even home yet knowing her.)

Yang:You both have an amazing child. I’m thankful him and Yujin are close.

Ren:She’s just as amazing and we’re just as thankful. I don’t think he knows just how much he talks about her. Get some rest okay?

Nora:You deserve it.

Finally the house is only filled with family members, but still feels very smothering. Yang’s eyes are fixated on the map that holds a daunting journey her sister will soon take. A journey that could use every pair of hands possible. So why? Why can’t she just make the logical choice already? Why can’t she can’t she tell everyone the answer she’s already chosen? Reason and emotion clashing cause her to lay down on the couch as tears roll down her face.

Yang:Can I have some time alone please?

Everyone leaves, except Jaune. He chooses to sit beside the couch and extends his hand; causing her to grab it instantly.

Yang:Jaune......?

Jaune:Yes? *tearing up*

She rubs her finger across her wedding ring before slowly taking it off. Her hand trembling terribly as she places it in his. Try as she might, there’s no amount of strength that could make her look at him as she breaks his heart again. Energy in her voice drained completely and left weak.

Yang:I’m sorry.....*sniffles* I’m so sorry Jaune. I’m so, so sorry.......

Jaune:*takes the ring and pulls her into a hug* I’ve waited this long; I can keep waiting.

Yang:It’s not fair! I don’t want to keep you waiting anymore, or Yujin! I love you both so much!!!

Jaune: But knowing how things might go if you stay behind scares you. As much as it hurts me, I get it. Do what you think is best. *crying*

*upstairs*

Ruby:.....Dad, I need your help. You really haven’t changed this place at all right?

Tai:Been this way since you guys left for Beacon in the first place. The only changes have been the small stuff that’s piled up through the years.

Ruby:Like our letters, pictures, and stuff.

Tai:Yeah, why?

Ruby:That’s a lot of memorabilia. *looking into her room* a lifetime in fact. Help me find all of it please? I want to try something .

Tai:What’s going on in that head of yours kiddo?

Ruby:*picks up an old scroll* Ways to help Yang cushion the blow.

[Dirt Road]

Tenzen:*sprinting* (Geez I thought I’d run into her by now. I doubt she ran home if she’s sulking. I should see her any min-) *stops *......

He was right about catching up to her. As mad as she was, it made sense why Jaune wanted someone to check up on her. The negative emotions had attracted some unwanted visitors and Tenzen was witnessing the aftermath. Plumes of smoke from fallen grimm littered the path and through it was his friend glowing brilliantly. Standing still in front of a lonely beowulf that snarled wildly at her. Tenzen couldn’t see her face but her knew she wasn’t fazed one bit.

Tenzen:Yujin?

Yujin:Get lost Tenzen; not in a good mood.

Tenzen:I can see that. Your dad wanted me to come check up on you. After everything that’s happened and all.

Yujin:I’m fine.....these things tried to hurt but it didn’t go so well for them. I’m already in more pain than they can cause.

With that statement the Beowulf lunged right at her. Immediately latching onto her bitting down on her shoulder, but his teeth didn’t sink in. Instead they chipped and broke apart like if it had bit marble. Before it got a chance to let go of her it’s life was over; a whole right through it’s chest was easily made with a single punch from the future huntress in training. She finally turned around to see the shock on Tenzen’s face. Was it because this is the first time seeing her semblance, or because she did all this with no weapon?

Yujin:I’m doing just fine as you can see. You ran here for nothing.

Tenzen:I didn’t come here for nothing. So you don’t need help fighting. Maybe there’s another way I could-

Yujin:I want to be alone Tenzen....

Tenzen:.....Well that’s a lie. From here it looks like you’re tired of being alone. You want-

Yujin:*covers her ears* OH MY GOD, JUST SHUT UP!!! You always have to be the sensible one right!? Help poor little Yujin anytime she’s feeling low. Maybe I’d be more sensible too if I had both of my parents at home too! Injured or not, they were always a room away and-

Tenzen:Currently on their way home to prepare for their journey.

Yujin:......*eyes widened* They both decided to go....?

Tenzen:Mom wants to make a difference, and my dad really needs that surgery. He didn’t want to go at first but it’s the best thing to do. Then he’ll fight as well. Can’t say this puts us in the same boat at all but I think we can both agree this situation is pretty shitty. *smiles*

Yujin:.........*eyes turn blue*

Tenzen:Come on and let’s get you home. *takes her hand and walks ahead* We don’t have to talk about anything if you don’t want to.

Yujin:......

She wanted to apologize but couldn’t. There was too many emotions she desperately tried to contain. Any more words, and single act of vulnerability would give way to sea of feelings she did not want to face right now. So she just held his hand quietly and firm; praying that he understood what she was trying to convey.

Tenzen:I forgive you.

No response was given and he never turned around. The only sounds heard was pained sniffling from his friend trying to keep it together. He felt her other hand rest on top his as they continued to walk. Nothing else was said. Nothing else needed to be said.

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imagine-loki · 5 years ago

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Giftless

TITLE: Giftless CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 36/50

AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE:

Imagine that you are Stark’s niece and you secretly share a strong relationship with Loki since he entered the crew. One day you get hurt so bad during a mission that you are about to die. Loki knows a spell that will save you and share his immortality with you but you and he will be linked forever sharing thoughts, pain, emotions…

RATING: T NOTES/WARNINGS: Also on AO3 click here

“I thought you two said you would behave,” Tony growled from the doorway and indeterminate amount of time later. You cracked your eyes open and looked up at him from your cool, Loki-shaped pillow and made a small noise at the disturbance. You’d been comfortable and your Loki-shaped pillow was not only cool, but had been reading in the most pleasant accent ever.

“We are behaving,” Loki protested. He’d been really good and kept you in bed and resting. Tony just glared at him. He didn’t believe Loki, especially when you were still holding on to Loki like he was a teddy bear and refused to let him go, even with your uncle in the room. “I am sure you are aware how she feels about hospitals. She was ready to have a panic attack and flee from here back to her rooms. I kept her here and safe where all the nice healers are,” Loki added reasonably.

“Go ‘way Tony,” you murmured. “Was sleeping.” Your words were slurring with exhaustion. That wasn’t a good sign. Why couldn’t he let you rest?

“Can’t imp. Fury wants to see you. You have to wake up. And let go of your plushie,” you groaned, but let go of Loki and sat up. Extremely reluctantly.

“Do I even want to know what a ‘plushie’ is?” Loki asked as he reluctantly got out of the bed.

You didn’t bother answering him. “Does that mean I can leave the infirmary?” you asked Tony with desperation in your voice as you forced your tired brain awake. You could be awake for awhile if it meant you could get out of the hospital wing. If Fury wanted to see you, maybe you were free to go get out of this… overly clean smelling hellhole. You swung your legs over the side of the bed to do just that. Loki grabbed you before you could actually get up and hurt yourself ripping out needles or stitches or something.

“Not yet, imp. Hopefully soon,” Tony looked concerned, though he should know how much you hated the hospital. You sighed. You really did hate it there. You just wanted to go home.

Fury came in and briefly confirmed you were alive and relatively well. He told you you’d get back to training after you healed.

Healer Julia came in next. “Please tell me I’m healed enough to go home,” you begged her.

She sighed. “And that’s why you were in a healing sleep for two days,” she replied. You looked up at her with a hopeful expression. “One more healing and you can go home,” she finally said. “Provided you have someone to look after you,”

Tony growled. “Kat, I’m on patrol all weekend, and I’m not leaving you with him,” he glared at Loki. you rolled your eyes.

“Uncle Tony, he’s been my guard for the past, like, 6 months and my boyfriend for nearly as long. He’s not going to let anything happen to me,” you protested, using logic on him. Loki was usually effective.

“I don’t trust him. Besides, the last time you were in his care you nearly died,” Tony replied, just as logically.

You rolled your eyes. Loki had said if you died, he would too. Even if he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t risk you for that fact alone. “Uncle Tony….”

“Fine, but if he tries anything, stab him first and ask questions later,” he gave the same order again. It was then that you remembered the two clowns who had shot at Loki, the ones who had ended up with your daggers in their throats.

“W-what happened to the clowns?” you asked them, your voice stuttering as you remembered what you’d done. You weren’t sure you wanted to know, but you needed to. You needed to know if you’d killed them.

“Kat…” Tony started.

“They are dead, love,” Loki said simply, but gently. He wouldn’t mince his words on something that important and you were grateful for it. “It was us or them. There was no good choice there,”

“We don’t kill people…” you whispered, staring down at the bed clothes. Supers didn’t kill people. It was against how you worked, against everything that you were.

“That rule does not apply when your life is in active danger. You know that, Kat,” Tony told you firmly. It was one of the first lessons the new supers learned.

“I killed two people, Uncle Tony!” you looked up at him with tears in your eyes. He pulled you into a hug.

“I know, imp. It’s hard for everyone the first time. You know what I had to do in Afghanistan to survive. We do it when we need to, but only when we need to. It hurts every time. There’s nothing wrong with feeling remorse, or feeling the pain you caused, but never, ever, feel sorry that you saved your life, or protected someone in your care.” You nodded and sniffled and he let you go. You wouldn’t forget what you had done and you was nowhere near over it, but you had done the only thing you could to live and to make sure Loki did too.

Healer Julia cleared her throat. “Boys, if you can’t behave, you’ll have to leave. I need to get to work if Kat’s going to get her wish of getting out of here.” Tony and Loki moved away from the bed and let Julia get to work. She placed her glowing golden hands over you and began the healing. When she was done, she unhooked you from all of the annoying machines. “You need to rest. No training, no nothing. If it involves walking further than downstairs for dinner, it’s off limits. If you don’t, I’m dragging you back here until you’re fully healed,” she ordered. You nodded sheepishly. She was already doing you enough of a favor getting you out of here early.

“Thank you,” you told her softly.

She nodded with a wicked grin on her face and took a step back from the bed. “Now, which of your young men will be carrying you to your room?” she asked, her eyes sparkling with mischief. Before she had even finished the question, Loki had swept you off of the bed. You giggled as he did and at Tony’s angry expression as you wrapped your arms around Loki’s neck. “And the boyfriend wins,” Julia announced with a smile.

“You better not try anything, other imp,” Tony warned Loki, but he said it with enough of a smile that you thought he might be willing to forgive Loki. Someday. Someday he might even accept the fact that you was dating Loki. “I really need to stop leaving you troublemakers together,” Tony sighed and left to go do more work.

“‘m not causin’ trouble,” you mumbled, half asleep already. Being under such heavy healing spells was straining to the body and exhausting.

“I know, darling. Now let’s get you home,” Loki told you softly. He carried you upstairs like you weighed nothing and settled you in the bed, knowing you were too out of it to walk yourself. “Are you awake?” he asked you, concerned. You blinked quickly to focus on him, and managed to nod. He held a hand out toward you, a green glow around it. “Would you like real pajamas instead of the hospital clothes?” he asked gently.

“Tha-d be nice,” you murmured, exhaustion slurring your words. Really, he was lucky you were still coherent at all. Healing wears out the healed, he should know that.

He sighed. “What am you going to do with you?” He leaned down and kissed your forehead. The green glow of his magic, flashed over you and you were in fuzzy warm pajamas. Seconds later, you were fast asleep, holding on to his hand.

#Loki #Lover #Submitted fic #submission #giftless #chapter 36 #Nekoamamori

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simplejjs · 7 years ago

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Chapter 5 of My Reveal Story

And the finale. Sigh...!

As I sat for several days, obsessively scribbling out my story, my husband goes, “What exactly are you going to do with this story?” and I replied, “I am going to get a tumblr account and post it and get a thousand likes!” :-)

The world is hard enough, and anytime we can bring anything beautiful and happy into it, I think we make it a better place. So, To The Universe, I hope my story made you feel happy!

Anyway, I *am* working on another take on “the reveal.” Tomorrow, Oct 26th, millions of lucky people not in the US will get to lose themselves in Season 2 of Miraculous. I am waiting waiting waiting for December! And I am thinking seriously of NOT spending time on Pinterest or tumblr looking up anything MLB because I know there will be so many spoilers... and I just don’t want the magic - you know - spoiled! Does anyone else feel like they are in this same boat?

So I guess I’ll just have to write more MLB stories as I wait. :-) If you would like me to write more, do let me know, b/c that will give me encouragement. Especially because I know that my husband will keep looking at me, one eyebrow raised, and question, “You’re *still* writing about MLB?”

Oh, yeah!

So, on to the story! Final chapter of My Reveal Story (what a lame title), here you are:

My Reveal Story Chapter 5 - Finale by JJ Sprinkle

As usual, Marinette was late to class. She slipped as quietly into her seat as she could while Mme Bustier lectured about literature. Her pulse still felt like it was racing after the morning’s adventures. Most of her mind was taken up with worry about Cat Noir, anxious that he was trapped where she had left him, unable to move with his broken leg. She was so focused on Cat Noir that a good five minutes passed before she noticed that Adrien was missing.

At the first pause in Mme Bustier’s lecture, Alya leaned over and whispered, “Where is he?” She nodded with her chin towards Adrien’s empty seat.

Shaking her head, Marinette shrugged her ignorance.

Alya glanced over at Chloe, who as usual smirked like the cat who had eaten the canary.

During the long morning, Marinette had to force herself to pay attention to her teachers. Constantly her mind wandered to Cat Noir, and she felt helpless wondering where he was and if anyone was helping him. Marinette chewed nervously on her pencil, with a constant frown on her face, until finally Alya murmured, “Don’t worry, I’m sure he’s okay.”

“What?” Marinette’s head shot up.

“He’s probably just sick. Which means you’ll be sick soon too, girl!” Alya grinned conspiratorially.

It took a moment for Marinette to realize that Alya was talking about Adrien, and then Marinette felt guilty for not sparing any of her concern or worry for him.

“He seemed okay when he left yesterday…” Marinette replied, then blushed a little, and then she and Alya giggled, which earned them a severe look from Mme Bustier.

While switching classes to Physics, Nino approached them holding his phone, “Yo, I texted Adrien and he says he’s sick. His dad made him stay home today, dude.”

Chloe sailed past, her nose in the air and Sabrina in her wake. “I could have told you that,” she said snottily. “Poor Adrikins and I got home sooo late,” she glanced at Marinette, “I’m sure he was just too worn out for school.” She smirked as she walked away, while Marinette and Alya looked poison darts at her back.

Lowering his voice, Nino repeated for the girls, “He actually says he’s sick, dude, not just tired.”

“I’m sick *and* tired of that girl!” Alya said.

Marinette, however, replied to Nino, “Tell him we hope he feels better.”

“Okay!” Nino said. Half teasing, he read as he typed, “Marinette says to tell you that-”

“No!” Marinette interrupted, “Don’t say that!” Then she rethought her first reaction. “Actually,” she started, and looked over at Alya.

Alya gave her an encouraging grin and the thumbs up sign, and said, “You go girl!”

“Actually Nino, go ahead and write that!” Marinette smiled, proud of her courage.

“Marinette says to tell you that we all hope you feel better.” Nino pressed ‘send’ and Marinette’s heart did a little flip flop. They hadn’t even gotten to Physics class when Nino’s phone chimed. Reading his text, Nino grinned at Marinette and repeated, “He says to tell you thanks.”

All three walked into class smiling.

By the time lunch rolled around, Marinette was chomping at the bit. As soon as they were released, she turned to Alya and excused herself, “I have to get some things from home. I’ll see you after lunch.”

“Sure thing, girl,” Alya replied agreeably. Scooping up her books, she dashed after Nino.

Marinette skipped down the stairs of the school, and turned as if to go home. However, reaching the corner, she stepped into a narrow alley and opened her purse. Tikki flew out. “Come on, Tikki,” Marinette said, “Let’s check on Cat Noir. Spots on!”

The air rippled around her, and after a second of dizzying disorientation, Ladybug was standing on the street. Immediately she shot out her yoyo to race to the south side of the city where she had left Cat Noir.

Ladybug criss-crossed multiple streets, even though she was ninety five percent certain she has found the right one on her first attempt. Nowhere did she find Cat Noir, or even any trace of him.

Still edged with worry, Ladybug made her way back to the school. She would simply have to trust that Cat Noir had gotten the help he needed, but she wasn’t happy about it. Once again in the narrow alley by her school, Ladybug transformed back into Marinette.

“Don’t worry, Marinette,” Tikki said in her sweet voice, “I’m sure he’s alright! His leg was already beginning to heal.”

“Does it really work like that?” Marinette couldn’t hide her anxiety.

“Your powers are very complex,” Tikki answered, “but since superheroes are always facing danger, healing is definitely part of the magic.”

“Do you think he’ll be on patrol tonight?” Marinette asked hopefully, “Could it really heal that fast?”

“Well…” Tikki replied cagily, “It depends on if he got the *right* help.”

“What does that mean, Tikki?” Marinette asked, confused.

In the distance a school bell rang. “I’ll tell you later, Marinette. Now you have to get back to school.”

Nodding her head, Marinette dashed back into the building.

In terms of living a double life, it was one of the hardest days Marinette had experienced. Her worry about Cat Noir, and impatience to see him that evening, was overwhelming. It made Alya laugh, convinced that Marinette was beside herself with worry for Adrien. This made Marinette feel worse, because although she hoped Adrien felt better, and was a little disappointed not to see him, in fact very little of her thoughts were spent on him. Cat Noir was foremost and predominantly in her mind.

By the time she got home, Marinette’s anxiety had blossomed. Although she tried to school her thoughts, she kept imagining the worst. As soon as she reached the privacy of her room, Marinette said, “I’m going to change, Tikki. I’m going to try to reach him on his baton!” Tikki nodded in agreement as Marinette called out, “Spots on!” But, when Ladybug pulled out her yoyo to call, there was no connection. Every time she tried, there was no answer. Finally, Ladybug re-transformed, wringing her hands and fighting despondency.

As she paced up and down in her room, Tikki gently lectured her, “You have to calm down, Marinette. I’m sure there’s nothing wrong. And if there is, Cat Noir needs you to stay clear headed.”

Marinette knew that everything Tikki said was true, but it didn’t really help. If she closed her eyes, she could transport herself immediately back to the moment when there was the terrible crunch of breaking bone, and Cat Noir’s anguished yell.

Sighing deeply, Marinette said, “I should never have left him. I should have ignored him and stayed by his side.” Tears pricked her eyes again.

“No, Marinette, he wanted you to leave,” Tikki tried to reassure her.

But Marinette was too deep into her thoughts to heed Tikki. Instead she climbed up onto her bed, laid on her stomach, and cried out her worries and guilt.

When Marinette went down for dinner, her parents immediately noticed that something was wrong. “Do you feel ill, dear?” her mom asked, placing the back of her hand on Marinette’s forehead.

“No, Mom, I’m fine. I’m just… It’s just school,” she prevaricated. “I’m just stressed.”

Her father placed his strong hand gently on her shoulder, “Don’t worry, Marinette, you’ll do fine. We believe in you!”

As he squeezed her shoulder, Marinette reached up and gripped his hand, squeezing back. She turned her head to smile at her dad, “Thanks Papa,” she said.

“Maybe you should get to bed early tonight, honey,” her mom offered. “It’s almost the weekend, and you can catch up on any homework then.”

“Thanks Mom. Okay,” she agreed.

Climbing the stairs to her room after dinner, Marinette checked the clock for the hundredth time. She climbed up onto her bed loft, and arranged her pillow to look like her body cuddled beneath the blankets. Over an hour early for their appointed rendez-vous, Marinette looked at Tikki and said “I can’t wait any longer.”

“I know, Marinette,” Tikki replied.

“Tikki, Spots on!” Marinette called. A bright light exploded in the room, and Marinette felt weightless and dizzy for a moment, before the floor re-formed under her. Scrambling out onto the roof deck, Ladybug launched herself into the inky darkness.

She made her way directly to the Eiffel Tower, and climbed to the level where they had met before. Quickly walking around the deck, Ladybug knew she was alone. She opened her yoyo to see if she could call Cat Noir’s baton, but again there was no connection. With worry engulfing her, Ladybug sank down to the metal grillework, dropped her forehead to her knees, and waited.

What if… her mind played with her, heightening her worry. What if… and What if… pounded into her imagination, until finally a light ‘thud’ sounded in front of her and Cat Noir’s beloved voice said, “Good evening, MiLady.”

Raising her head from her knees, there was no way Ladybug could hide the ravages of her tears from Cat Noir, even if she had thought to. Cat Noir’s eyes went wide, and immediately he crouched down to his Ladybug and said “What’s wrong, Bugaboo?”

Ladybug launched herself at Cat Noir, knocking him over and sprawling on top of him, hugging him fiercely and hiding her face in his shoulder. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have left you! I’m so sorry!” she cried.

Hesitantly, Cat Noir wrapped his arms around Ladybug and hugged her back. “Shh, shh…” he soothed, “It’s okay! I’m almost all better! I’m fine!”

“No, it’s not!” Ladybug’s muffled voice sounded against his shoulder. Finally, she spoke the words that had been haunting her all day, “You could have died.” She started sobbing even harder.

Cat Noir continued hugging Ladybug, while trying unsuccessfully to leverage them both into a sitting position. He gave up and just lay there stroking her back, murmuring reassurances, “I’m okay, Bugaboo. It’s okay. Don’t cry,” he pleaded. Her sobs were breaking his heart. “I promise never to try to save you again, “ Cat Noir tried to joke.

Ladybug raised her head and stared at Cat Noir intently. Her wide, blue eyes glistened in the moonlight. Then, surprising both him and herself, she placed her hands on either side of his face and started kissing him passionately. There was no introduction to the kiss, no working its way up - Ladybug immediately and enthusiastically kissed him deeply, intensely, with abandon. For a moment Cat Noir lay there shocked, but within seconds he was holding her tighter, weaving his fingers into her silky hair, and matching her kiss for kiss. In a timeless world of their own, Ladybug poured out all of her fears and worries, and Cat Noir poured out all of his love and affection, into their kisses.

Running his hands down her shoulders and then her sides, to span her narrow waist, Cat Noir finally broke the kiss with Ladybug. Breathless, he panted, “MiLady, we have to stop.”

Ladybug hid her face against Cat Noir’s neck. He could feel her nodding, which amused him, and he hugged her reassuringly again. This time, when he tried to pull them both up to a sitting position, she let him. He ended with his back against the frame of the tower, and Ladybug sitting across his lap, his arms around her and her face still buried against his neck.

Surprisingly, Ladybug started crying again. “Oh God,” Cat Noir could barely hear her say, and then she pulled back and cried, “What have I done?”

Cat Noir flashed his mischievous smile and joked suggestively, “Nothing you shouldn’t have!”

“No, no!” Ladybug was seriously upset again, but this time with herself. She looked panicky, “I shouldn’t have! I’m not supposed to like you! I like - Oh God, what did I do?”

Cat Noir threw his head back and laughed, which did not help the situation. With his arms still around her, Ladybug reared back and started pummeling Cat Noir on the chest. “Stop it! Stop it! Oh my God!” she cried.

Trying to control his laughter, Cat Noir said, “Ladybug, I can make it all better.”

“No,” she replied, panic and confusion lacing her voice, “You can’t!”

“Mari, I *can*,” Cat Noir said. Ladybug did not catch the endearment. “Let me!” he said.

Still holding Ladybug wrapped gently in a hug, Cat Noir called, “Claws in.”

Ladybug’s eyes got round, and she exclaimed, “No!” but it was too late. Both were engulfed in a bright light, and beneath her hands Ladybug felt Cat Noir’s catsuit morph into something softer and loose. Ladybug shut her eyes tightly, not wanting to look.

Cat Noir’s affectionate voice pleaded softly, “MiLady, open your eyes.” He dropped a delicate kiss on the tip of her nose.

Ladybug worked her way up to it. Squinting open only one eye, Ladybug hesitantly peeked at the boy in front of her. Suddenly she opened both eyes wide, and gasped. Her face went white.

Adrien watched Ladybug carefully, uncertain how she would react. At her silence, he laughed a nervous little chuckle and said, “Ta da!” He grinned hopefully at her.

“You - I - you -” Ladybug could not string a coherent thought together, let alone a sentence.

“Bugaboo,” Adrien confessed tenderly, “I know it’s you, Marinette.”

If Ladybug’s eyes could have gotten any larger, they did.

“How - What -”

Adrien was just smiling at her, when Ladybug erupted and started pounding on his chest again. Especially out of his Cat Noir suit, her fists rather hurt, and so Adrien pulled her more tightly into his arms and laughing a little said, “Ow, Ladybug! Marinette! It hurts! Stop! Please!”

“Were you toying with me?” Ladybug suddenly, very clearly, accused.

“No!” Adrien replied, trying hard to keep the laughter out of his voice. At Ladybug’s glare, he relented, “Well, maybe a little bit…” Ladybug started pummeling him again, so again he pulled her tightly against him. “But only because I didn’t know what to do!” That got Ladybug’s attention, and for a moment she stopped squirming.

“It was only a few days ago, after the Fish Lord attacked, and by mistake I came upon you just as you changed. It wasn’t my fault!” he added, for good measure.

“You made me fall in love with you!” Ladybug accused.

Loosening his grasp, and pulling back to peer into her face, Adrien asked plaintively, “You didn’t love me at least a little bit before?”

Ladybug opened her mouth as if to speak, then closed it, then blushed.

“I just wanted you to love *all* sides of me, not just-” he waved one of his hands along his figure, “this side of me.” He returned to holding her gently.

Ladybug stared at him for almost a full minute, her mind whirring. Then, she buried her face against Adrien’s shoulder. Adrien leaned back, thinking that having his Bugaboo in his arms, burrowing against his shoulder, was possibly the best feeling in the world.

“I do,” came her soft voice.

“What?” Adrien asked, lowering his head to try to gaze into Ladybug’s eyes.

“I do love both sides of you,” she whispered. Then, leaning back to stare him full in the face, Ladybug said more clearly, “I love *all* sides of you.”

Time stood still as the two smiled into each other’s eyes, emerald green and blue bell. Slowly, reverently, Adrien lowered his mouth to kiss Ladybug. At first gently, like the small waves on a calm ocean washing up on a soft beach, and then building to a tidal wave of love, the two became lost in their kiss.

This time it was Ladybug who broke it off. The happiness that radiated from her smile warmed them both, and mimicking his sly smile, she dropped a kiss on Adrien’s nose just as he had done to her. “C’mon, Cat,” she said, playfully forcing a professional tone over the husky timbre of her voice.

“Mmmm… I was wrong before,” Adrien murmured, “*This* is the best feeling ever.” Gazing at his beloved, Adrien sighed.

In a teasing echo of former times, Ladybug pushed her finger against Adrien’s nose and repeated, “C’mon Cat.” She grinned, “Aren’t we going to do any patrolling tonight at all? Time to change and get to work!”

All this time, Plagg had been hiding behind Adrien’s back, agog to see how things played out. Now that it was clear that it would not end in cheese, he sullenly cried, “Awww,” as Adrien shot out his hand and cried, “Plagg, Claws out!”

In a bright wash of light, Adrien transformed and Ladybug found herself clutched in the arms of Cat Noir. “Phew!” she said, “That’s gonna take some getting used to!”

Pushing himself up, Cat Noir pulled Ladybug up with him, and once more wrapped his arms around her in a joyful hug. “MiLady, I love you so much!”

“Chaton,” Ladybug replied, her Marinette-shyness lacing her words, “I love you too.”

Then, at exactly the same moment, in exactly the same playful tone, they both yelled, “Let’s go!” and leaped off into the night.

The End by JJ Sprinkle

And if you liked this, you can try out my next ‘reveal’ story, “Unmasking the Love”: https://simplejjs.tumblr.com/post/167451785810/part-1-of-my-new-reveal-story-unmasking-the-love

And my third MLB ‘reveal’ story, “Love Reveals,” is here: https://simplejjs.tumblr.com/post/169184516520/love-reveals-part-1

#Miraculous #MLB #Ladybug #Cat Noir #Adrienette #Ladynoir #Ladrien #reveal #kiss

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shutterbughen · 5 years ago

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i only shitpost my personal life on this social media so here’s tag thing

200: My crush's name is: Absolutely nobody lol

199: I was born in: 1999

198: I am really: Impulsive

197: My cellphone company is: Metro

196: My eye color is: Brown

195: My shoe size is: I’m Bigfoot so 9, sometimes 9 1/2

194: My ring size is: I have no idea

193: My height is: 5'9

192: I am allergic to: bees?

191: My 1st car was: Chrysler seibring

190: My 1st job was: Technically Hardee’s but MJR

189: Last book you read: I can't remember

188: My bed is: Where I take tf out of my depression naps

187: My pet: N/A

185: My favorite shampoo is: OGX

184: Xbox or ps3: PS3

183: Piggy banks are: Probably fun to break

182: In my pockets: No pants ;)

181: On my calendar: If I had one it would just be work

180: Marriage is: Unlikely

179: Spongebob can: Keep making memes

178: My mom: Better when we’re apart

177: The last three songs I bought were? The last three I DOWNLOADED were Revenge by XXXTentacion, 6 Inch by Beyoncé & The Weeknd, and Self Care by Mac Miller

176: Last YouTube video watched? Joji - rain on me

175: How many cousins do you have? Too many

174: Do you have any siblings? 7

172: Are you taller than your mom? Yeah but barely

171: Do you play an instrument? I can somewhat play the piano but it’s been a while

170: What did you do yesterday? Slept in kind of late, watched Netflix. Depression days lol

[ I Believe In ]

169: Love at first sight: I want to

168: Luck: That’d be nice

167: Fate: In a way

166: Yourself: Sometimes

165: Aliens: Absolutely

164: Heaven: Um

163: Hell: Who knows

162: God: I used to

161: Horoscopes: Not really

160: Soul mates: Yeah

159: Ghosts: Yes

158: Gay Marriage: Duhh

157: War: I guess it depends, generally no

156: Orbs: Anythings possible

155: magic: Nah

[ This or That ]

154: Hugs or Kisses: Both

153: Drunk or High: Lol

152: Phone or Online: Phone

151: Red heads or Black haired: Doesn’t matter

150: Blondes or Brunettes: ^

149: Hot or cold: Cold

148: Summer or winter: Summer

147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn

146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla

145: Night or Day: Id like to say night but I’m usually more prone to depression and missing my ex at night, so probably day

144: Oranges or Apples: Apples

143: Curly or Straight hair: Curly

142: McDonalds or Burger King: Neither

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Whiteee

140: Mac or PC: Mac

139: Flip flops or high heals: Flip flops be easier

138: Ugly and rich OR Sexy and poor: Whichever option leads to me not being screwed over, but I’m not picky

137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke

136: Hillary or Obama: Obama

135: Burried or cremated: I don’t know

134: Singing or Dancing: Singing terribly while driving home from work at 3am

133: Coach or Chanel: Idgaf

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: See above

131: Small town or Big city: I like the vibe of both but I’ve always wanted to live in a big city

130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Adam Sandler

128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure but I desperately need a manicure

127: East Coast or West Coast: East, although West Coast would be cool too

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: No opinion

125: Chocolate or Flowers: Flowers

124: Disney or Six Flags: I’ve only ever been to Disney

123: Yankees or Red Sox: Red Sox I guess

[ Here's What I Think About ]

122: War: No strong opinion

121: George Bush: 9/11

120: Gay Marriage: Well I’m bi so clearly against lol

119: The presidential election: Trump sux

118: Abortion: My body my choice

117: MySpace: That’s how my dad met my step mom

116: Reality TV: Stupid but fun to watch

115: Parents: They screwed me up

114: Back stabbers: See ya

113: Ebay: I used to buy my cosplays on there

112: Sex: Not sure where I stand with that for myself

111: Work: Used to be a chore, but it’s better now. I like working

110: My Neighbors: Loterally no opinion at all

109: Gas Prices: RIP wallet

108: Designer Clothes: Would be cool if I could afford them lol

107: College: Expensive

106: Sports: Not a sports gal

105: My family: My sister is great

104: The future: Horrifying

[ Last time I ]

103: Hugged someone: Sort of recently but I don’t remember who

102: Last time you ate: Like an hour ago

101: Saw someone I haven't seen in awhile: It’s been a while

100: Cried in front of someone: I’m sure I have recently but not sure when

99: Went to a movie theater: Almost everyday

98: Took a vacation: I went to Chicago randomly a couple weeks ago

97: Swam in a pool: Now that I think about it it for a while

96: Changed a diaper: Never

95: Got my nails done: Too long ago

94: Went to a wedding: A couple of years ago

93: Broke a bone: I broke my toe last year

92: Got a peircing: Ears was the first and last

91: Broke the law: Ughhh is a cop asking me this lol

90: Texted: My sister was the last person I texted

[ MISC ]

89: Who makes you laugh the most: Friends

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: I already left, I miss my sister but that’s it

87: The last movie I saw: In theaters? Probably Endgame

86: The thing that I'm looking forward to the most: Nothing specific but in general getting my shit together

85: The thing im not looking forward to: All the work that comes with getting my shit together

84: People call me: Dani

83: The most difficult thing to do is: Staying vegan

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: No

81: My zodiac sign is: Scorpio

80: The first person i talked to today was: My coworker

79: First time you had a crush: on 2nd or 3rd grade to a boy named Tyler

78: The one person who i can't hide things from: Sometimes I feel like the only person I can ever be completely honest with is myself

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Me and my sister both said the exact same thing today

76: Right now I am talking to: Nobody

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Hopefully have everything under control, travel, be content on being with myself alone rather than relying on other people to make me happy

74: I have/will get a job: I’m a manager at MJR right now, not sure where I’m going from here

73: Tomorrow: I’m waking up early to go jogging then hopefully getting out and doing something later

72: Today: Go to sleep

71: Next Summer: Nothing planned

70: Next Weekend: Most likely work

69: I have these pets: None

68: The worst sound in the world: Nails scratching paper, also the worst feeling

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Myself

66: People that make you happy: Friends & Sister

65: Last time I cried: It’s been a second, at least a week ago

64: My friends are: Fun

63: My computer is: Broken

62: My School: Hard to bring myself to go to

61: My Car: dirty right now

60: I lose all respect for people who: Constantly change their story and go back on their word

59: The movie I cried at was: Endgame

58: Your hair color is: Brown & blonde

57: TV shows you watch: The Office, Lucifer, Shameless

56: Favorite web site: YouTube I guess

55: Your dream vacation: Bora Bora

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: Breakups. Physically probably period cramps

53: How do you like your steak cooked: I don’t eat meat anymore, but medium rare when I did

52: My room is: Pretty cluttered

51: My favorite celebrity is: Brendon Urie

50: Where would you like to be: On vacation

49: Do you want children: Nope

48: Ever been in love: Once

46: More guy friends or girl friends: Girl

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Feeling motivated

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: I’m comfortable being alone right now

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: I barely have my week planned

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: No

41: Have you pre-named your children: Maybe my future PETS lol

40: Last person I got mad at: Not mad, just annoyed

39: I would like to move to: Seattle

38: I wish I was a professional: Idk

[ My Favorites ]

37: Candy: Used to be Almond Joys

36: Vehicle: Tesla

35: President: Idk

34: State visited: Illinois (mostly for Chicago)

33: Cellphone provider: TMobile

32: Athlete: None

31: Actor: Chris Evans I guess

30: Actress: None

29: Singer: The Weeknd or Joji

28: Band: The Neighborhood

27: Clothing store: ZAFUL

26: Grocery store: Kroger

25: TV show: The Office or Hannibal

24: Movie: Captain America Winter Soldier

23: Website: YouTube

22: Animal: Sloth

21: Theme park: I’ve only been to Seaworld and Disney, so Disney I suppose

20: Holiday: Halloween

19: Sport to watch: Maybe I wouldn’t mind seeing a baseball game but not on TV

18: Sport to play: None

17: Magazine: No

16: Book: Idk

15: Day of the week: Friday

14: Beach: Never been to one so frequently that I have a favorite

13: Concert attended: Joji

12: Thing to cook: Stir fry

11: Food: Also stir fry

10: Restaurant: Townhouse

9: Radio station: 95.5

8: Yankee candle scent: Vanilla

7: Perfume: Don’t have a specific favorite

6: Flower: Sunflower

5: Color: Yellow

4: Talk show host: Idk

3: Comedian: None

2: Dog breed: German Shepherd

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yeah

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ganzamende · 8 years ago

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Safe Place

Everytime something goes wrong in my life i just wanna call you, i just wanna hear your deep voice saying "oh baby i'm so sorry, you don't deserve this, come here and i will heal all the wounds on your little heart, this is your safe place" And you know what i really, really do believe in this. My safe place is your home. I don't really know why, i think it's everything and nothing at the same time what makes your place so special. I love it how 'small' your room is and gow big your bed looks in it, for me it's like your whole room is just about your bed and your tv. I love your black curtains and how dark your room can be although the sun shines bright as fuck outside or when it rains and you don't hear anything. Of course i like my bedroom, my pink lights and that i can hear the sound of the rain through my closed windows, but your room is so special for me. It's like a different world, a free world for me, no stress, no outside world, just this room and yea the two of us under your huge blankets. I think i will never forget how heavy they were and how tiny i felt under them, i felt like a child in a complete peaceful world without any problems. I love your blankets and the thousands of pillows where you can get lost in. I just love everything about your room, i know you don't like your room, but it's just my safe place and wow, i think i actually miss it already. You know that i miss you and maybe your room wouldn't be my safe place without you. I'm not sure, i love you and i love your room, but i also loved your room when i was alone in it, it gave me so much silent and power at the same time. I loved your room also when you hurted me, i never wanted to leave. Not you and not at all your room. I felt safe. I felt peacefully. I felt better. I actually felt good and after a while i felt strong again. You gave me so much, your room or moreover your bed gave me so much. But i think you also had a huge amount on making me strong again after the world smashed me down. Your closeness, your litle whispers that soon everything will be okay and that i am a little figther and that you are so proud of who i habe become and who i am, your muscular arms at whose i could hide so easily, your warm skin which gave me a feeling of a home, your breast which catches all my tears, the sound of your beating heart which gave me a feeling of truly love, your hands which you grab deeply in my hairs and crawl my head. It was the love you gave me which made me strong. I remember one time you slept at my place and it was early in the morning when we hear some noises and someone shouting very loudly, yea it was my dad. I think it was the first time you heard him reacting like this and i was so shocked and felt sorry that you had to hear it and i habe to admit i was also scared that you could ask me some questions about what was going on when you notice i woke up too, because of this noise. But you didn't notice i was awake and instead of doing nothing you got closer to me, took my head in your arms and put your hands over my ears so that i don't have to hear what was going on in my family and won't wake up. And i was so surprised by your behaviour, i would have never imagine this. I think in that moment i started to love you even more, because you wanted to save me and didn't saved yourself from that noise. Maybe it sounds as a tiny everyday thing, but it has such an important meaning for me. I hope i will always remember that, i think i will. And i think that is also a reason why i just wanan talk to you when something happened, because i feel like you understand me and i feel like it's okay to be broken and sad when i talk to you. I just wanna talk to you, because although you hurted me too and at the moment hurt me again, you always put back together the broken pieces of my heart and no one could ever do that like you. So i'm really afraid that you could leave, because without you my life is a mess, i am a mess and i feel like drowning in my problems, my sorrows, my fears, my insecureties and all these bad thoughts i'm trying to hide come back. Like i just could go to the garage, grab the key of my car and drive, drive without taking care of anything and without to slow down, just against the next wall. And everything would be over forever, no more problems. It would be so easy. Since you tried to distance yourself from me these thougths came back more often, i know it's not your fault, i'm just saying i'm a mess without you and that i really miss my safe place and your warmth and proximity. I just wanna crawl in your bed, hide under your blankets and cuddle with you. We don't even need to talk, i just wanna feel something, something else than sadness. I need my safe place. I need you. I need to feel something. I need to feel understood. I miss you. I miss your voice. I miss your smile, which put a smile on my face. I miss my happiness. I miss my safe place. I hope you won't leave. I hope i can visit my safe place again. I hope i can feel you again. I hope for so much, i can't even put everything in words. Hope you are still proud of me and who i am and hopefully you will say it to me again sometime. Wow, i really hope you will call me and say those magical words that i can comeback to my happy place. Hmm, i think that says everything you are my safe place, which makes me happy.

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imagine-loki · 6 years ago

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The Witch's Familiar

TITLE: The Witch’s Familiar CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 26/?

AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine getting so attached to Lokitty early on that you insist on carrying him just about everywhere. RATING: T (so far)

You were still curled safely in your Lokitty’s arms when you woke again. He was purring softly, the half-purr that he usually only had when he was asleep. You smiled and thought about how you could very much get used to waking like this. “It is a most pleasant way to wake indeed,” Loki’s voice was husky with sleep when he spoke. He kissed your forehead and then kissed you lightly when you tilted your head up to look at him. “Put your shields back up, little sorceress,” he answered your unasked question of how he’d heard your thoughts. The nightmares had stripped your shielding away, which is how you’d been projecting your nightmare in the first place. The shielding kept your mind safe from intruders, and outsiders safe from your thoughts.

“Sorry…” you murmured and concentrated for a moment to settle the shielding back in place.

“I don’t mind, but there are others here who can hear thoughts as well. I do not trust them not to meddle, thinking a Midgardian an easy target,”

“You still should have told me so you didn’t have to deal with me projecting all night,” you reminded him as you sat up and absently started petting Sera, who curled happily in your lap.

“Darling, you were distraught enough last night without me bringing up your shielding. I was perfectly capable of protecting us both until you were feeling better. And don’t you dare apologize for having a nightmare,” he added quickly before you could do just that.

“Bossy cat,” you grumbled good naturedly at him. He laughed in reply and gave you a Cheshire cat grin.

“Hungry cat,” he corrected and stood from the bed. “Breakfast will be starting soon. Don’t worry, it’s less formal than dinner,” he added quickly at your discouraged look. You weren’t sure you were cut out for Asgardian court life. Loki insisted you were doing fine and making a good impression, but you didn’t believe him. He was a known liar after all.

Loki offered you a hand and pulled you to your feet. “You must be hungry,” you teased as his magic shimmered over the pair of you so he was dressed in a green tunic and black pants (and sadly missing his adorable cat-ears again) and you were in a more casual, but still gorgeous floor length Asgardian gown. You smirked at him. “Very hungry cat,” you added dryly.

He grinned. “That, and I am happy to be home, however briefly,” he reminded you warmly.

“Right… Odin did send you to Midgard,” you remembered it wasn’t a volunteer mission like Thor’s trips. Which is why Loki had been a cat for months and refused to turn back. Earth wasn’t his home, no matter how much he seemed to like it there now.

“I don’t mind anymore,” he reassured you quickly “but it is nice to visit home,”

Breakfast was a much smaller affair than dinner. You sat at a big table with Thor and his warrior friends and they spent the meal telling stories of glorious battles as they devoured a entire table full of food. The others besides Thor and Loki kept trying to insist you needed to eat more. You, Thor, and Loki all had to convince them that Midgarians were not bottomless pits. It took convincing that you weren’t just being polite and shy.

“So Loki, how old is your lovely mortal?” Fandral asked in Asgardian instead of Allspeak.

“It is rude to inquire of a lady’s age, Fandral,” you replied in kind, teasing Thor’s silly warrior friend. You laughed at his shock that you understood their language, even though you’d been speaking it mostly exclusively since you’d been here. They weren’t expecting you to be able to and kept using Allspeak to try to make you feel included. It was thoughtful, though unnecessary. “However, I am not mortal, not in the sense you are referring, and I am 500 years old,” your Asgardian was a little formal, since you learned it for court setting, but Thor’s friends didn’t complain. Fandral just continued to stare. You turned to look at Loki. “I know my accent is atrocious, but did I say it wrong?” you asked, concerned that you weren’t as fluent as you thought you were.

Loki laughed and shook his head while Fandral spluttered “500? But Midgardians only live to 100,”

“Yes, Fandral, my lady is 500 years, still a young lady,” he told Fandral with a mischievous smirk and leaned over to kiss your cheek. “And your accent is fine, darling,” he told you warmly.

“That’s sweet of you to say, but Thor is quite insistent that it’s awful, and you are a flatterer and a known liar,” you teased him.

He inclined his head. “That may be, however, my brother is an idiot,” Loki reminded you with a grin at Thor. “He’s just grumpy that his accent is the one of the warriors and yours is of the court like mine,” he explained and your confused expression. That made sense, he would be grumbly that you sounded more royal than a prince of Asgard did.

Fandral finally stopped looking shocked and looked intrigued instead, and like he was interested in stealing you away from Loki. Like that was going to happen. Hopefully he wasn’t stupid enough to make the attempt. Loki might kill him for the insult.

Everyone at the table started to rise when the Queen walked into the room. She gestured at you all to remain in your seats. Loki stood anyway to offer her his place. Adorable Mama’s boy. She kissed his cheek. “Thank you darling, but I can’t stay. I’m actually on my way out to Asa Village. A rash of pox has popped up there. I will return by dinner, and I’m taking assistants and guards. Don’t fret, dear,” she bid Loki warmly. He was obviously preparing to fret over her safety. “Boys, your father wishes to see you after breakfast. He has business for you both while you’re home,” Frigga told both Loki and Thor. They both inclined their heads. Her messages delivered, she went around the table. Each of the warrior boys stood and kissed her hand and she kissed their cheeks in reply. She and Sif kissed each other’s cheeks. You had a feeling she had adopted Thor’s friends as her children too, based on her interactions with them. Thor hugged her warmly and kissed her cheek, not the least bit embarrassed to be kissing his mother’s cheek in front of all of his big strong warrior friends. You stood and dipped a curtsy when she reached you. There was no way in the seven layers of hell that you had already been adopted as one of her children. You’d met her officially yesterday. “No need for all of that,” she told you warmly. You rose from the curtsy shyly. You didn’t know how to deal with this gently formidable woman. You were shocked when she kissed your cheek as well. Maybe she just adopted everyone who wandered into her life. “Thank you for making my Loki so happy, darling,” her voice was warm and kind, but soft enough that the others couldn’t overhear. She turned to Thor’s warrior friends before you could reply. “Children, would you keep Y/N company while Loki is busy today?” she asked them. They were quick to agree. She said goodbye to her sons and headed off to her healing trip.

Fandral started to step toward you, but Sif wrapped her arm around your shoulders before he could. “Want to see the practice yards?” she asked you kindly, but glared at Fandral, as if aware of what he was up to. “Some of the court ladies and the shield maidens should be practicing at this time of the morning,”

“Sounds like fun,” you replied with a smile.

She grinned. “Good, say goodbye to lover-boy. He’s got work to do, and we can see if you have any skill with a blade,” she teased and removed her arm from your shoulders. You turned back to Loki.

“Darling, are you sure you’ll be alright?” he asked in English, concerned that he was leaving you alone. The others could understand, of course, but they would pretend the conversation was private since the change of language was a request for privacy.

“Lokitty, I’ll be fine. Sif will keep me company while you’re busy. Even if she couldn’t, I would be ok. Besides, I have a dragon hanging out with me. You know her overprotective ass won’t let anything happen to me,” you teased him. He chuckled and gave you a soft kiss.

“Very well, but call me if you need me,” he told you softly. You knew he meant either telepathically or through the magic pendant he’d given you.

You thought for a moment, but hadn’t had a chance to prepare anything. So you steeled yourself and slipped the ring off the ring finger of your right hand and pressed it into his hand with a small charm on it. “Hold onto this for me?” you asked him softly. He raised an eyebrow. “In case I need to find you quickly?” He smiled warmly then, realizing what you were up to. You could find the item that was yours, the piece of your magic you’d placed on it and teleport directly to where it was.

“Of course, darling.” The ring was obviously much too small for him, but he summoned a necklace-chain to slip the ring onto, clasped it quickly around his neck, and tucked the ring under his tunic. He’d wear it to make you both feel safer.

“Please take care of it, it was mom’s,” you bid him. You would have…possibly…given him something else, but it was the best thing you had on short notice.

“I promise,” he told you warmly and leaned down to kiss you. And kept kissing you until Thor huffed and grabbed his arm to drag him one way. Sif grabbed yours to drag you the other. You were both laughing when they broke you up.

Sif gave you a tour of the practice yards, while Fandral tried to follow along and make a nuisance of himself, but was politely denied entrance to the maidens’ practice court. “You can borrow a set of practice armor if you want to join us,” Sif suggested.

You looked over her outfit of armor. “Is that what you typically wear?” you asked, gesturing to her. She nodded, looking at you suspiciously. You kept your eyes on her and used magic to change your dress to armor identical to hers but in the green of your Earthen battle costume instead of her red. “Look ok?” you asked her. She nodded with a bright smile.

“Let’s see what you can do with a blade, sorceress,” she teased. You worked out with her for awhile. You weren’t the best at fighting physically, but you could hold your own and she seemed impressed.

You spent the morning with Sif and the other maidens until guards ran up to Sif. “Lady Sif, there has been an attack on Asa Village. Your presence is required,” one of them told her. She nodded and the guards went on their way to gather whoever else they needed.

Asa Village

Asa-

The Queen! You looked at Sif. “You’re riding out there, right?” you asked her quickly. She nodded as she rushed to the armory to grab her weapons. “I’ll go get Loki and Thor if I can find him. We’ll meet you at the stables,” you told her quickly.

“You know where they are?” she demanded.

“I know where Loki is,” you told her. She nodded.

“Hurry!”

You nodded and vanished, following the pull of your mother’s ring. You appeared inside of a council room, facing Odin, Thor, and Loki. They all looked up when you materialized in front of them. “What is this-?” Odin started to demand.

You bowed, right fist over your heart as the warriors did. “I apologize for interrupting,” you told him calmly. “There has been an attack on Asa Village-” They all gasped and looked horrified. They all started to run from the room. You grabbed Loki’s arm then Thor’s as he tried to run past you. They both looked at you, glaring.

“Where are the stables?” you demanded. Loki realized what you were asking faster than Thor.

“Brother, take the Allfather’s arm,” Loki told him firmly while he ‘knocked’ on your mind’s shield. You let him past your outer shields so he could give you the image of the location. Once Thor was touching Odin, you teleported all of you to the stables, grateful your magic was back in full. Odin was in the saddle of an eight-legged horse in an instant.

“Thor, Loki, gather the others, follow with the troops as soon as they are assembled,” Odin ordered. He galloped off without another word.

Loki started to protest, heartbroken at being held behind. Thor clapped him on the shoulder. He was worried about Frigga too, but he would do his duty. Loki loved Frigga more than anything and being forced to stay behind was killing him. But you were under no such restrictions. You turned to him. “Give me something of Frigga’s,” you told him gently, but urgently.

“But I- we-”

“You’ll catch up. I can beat even an eight legged horse to the village,” you reminded him. He just stared at you hurt and confused. You lifted Sera off your shoulder. Thor opened his mouth to protest until you glared at him. “Time to shift, Sera. We have work to do,” you told her. She nodded and on unspoken agreement, you tossed her into the sky, giving her a boost to where she’d have room to shift. She shifted to her full dragon form as she soared upwards. You turned to Loki. “Trust me, Loki. I will find her,” you bid him.

“You shouldn’t even be coming- You’re a guest and we brought you here to keep you safe-” he started to protest. Thor started to agree. You glared at them both.

“You brought me here to keep me safe from witch hunters. Like I would stay behind when people need me, when you need me. Trust me, Loki. I’ll find her and I’ll keep her safe.” He hesitated, looking so scared, but summoned a hairbrush and handed it to you.

“I will be right behind you,” he told you, still heartbroken that he couldn’t just go now.

“I know. I’ll find her and keep her safe until you get there. I swear it.” You kissed him and saw the grateful look in his eyes when you broke the kiss. You summoned a glaive and strapped it to your back. If you were going alone into battle, you weren’t going to rely solely on magic. Sera swooped down and you swung onto her back, using the saddle that had somehow appeared there. You didn’t question it at the moment.

“Y/N-” Loki’s eyes were haunted and heartbroken. Even he was tongue-tied by hurt and sorrow and a stupidly strong desire to break the rules, but even he could only disobey Odin to a certain extent and no more, especially with Thor here. Thor didn’t want to let you go either, but wouldn’t stop you, not with his mother’s safety on the line. He had fought alongside you more than Loki and knew your skills. He trusted you abilities.

“I’ll find her, Loki,” you reminded him firmly, though nodded to Thor too. “I swear it. I will find her and I will keep her safe,” you turned your attention to Sera. Loki was too haunted and scared to even tell you to be careful. You didn’t blame him in the least. “Fly, Seraphina. Show me the meaning of haste.” She ran a few steps while you settled and held onto her tightly. Her wings pumped and you were in the air. You worked a quick locator spell using Frigga’s hairbrush and sped toward the village as fast as Sera could fly.

#Loki #Lover #Imagine #Submitted fic #submission #the witch's familiar #nekoamamori #chapter 26

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 4 years ago

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Once Bitten, Twice Stupid 114

114

“Babe?”

“I’m here”

He wasn’t about to wander off naked

“It’s cold”

“I know, I’m coming back to bed now”

“‘kay... miss you”

“It’s alright, babe. I’m going to grab us some clothes to wear”

“Mmm, okay... but don’t be too long”

“We thought about sending a rescue party to find you”

Lance climbed out of his hold, shivering as his feet touched the cold wood floors

“Totally my fault. Needed a bath to warm up... stupid snow”

Lance flashed their friends a smile. Keith feeling worse about things seeing it was fake... Keeping up appearances was hard and unfair. Shiro chuckled

“It’s a cold one. Matt and Rieva were straight in front of the fireplace. There’s coffee left for Keith”

Lance kissed his cheek

“Here that, babe, you better get some coffee in you while I put my boots back on”

“Can you two not be gross before breakfast?”

“Leave Keith alone. He’s allowed to be gross in his birthday weekend”

Flipping Shiro off, Keith cautiously shuffled into the kitchen, Shay an angel as she passed him a cup of coffee, giggling at the happiness on his face

“Shiro already warned me I better have it ready”

“Babe, he’s as bad as Pidge when doesn’t have her”

“There’s coffee next to the kettle. The milk’s in the fridge. It’s lactose free, Lance made sure to tell us repeatedly, as if we forget”

“Thanks, guys. You didn’t have to go to the effort”

Pidge snorted from the table

“Dude, you’re our friend. We do nice things for the people we actually like. Everyone else can go fuck themselves”

Matt and Shiro both called out in synch

“Language!”

The kind of timing that couldn’t be brought. Grumpily Pidge leaned back in her chair, cradling her coffee

“Blow me”

“Blow you what?”

“Babe, food”

Lance eyed the shaker bottle with defeat. Matt shaking his head as the concoction

“I don’t think I want to ask”

“Have to hide breakfast somehow”

“Leave him alone to eat in peace”

“But, babe...”

“You finish that sentence, Matthew Holt, and I’ll put you out in the snow to pee like Kosmo”

Matt pouted at Rieva. Lance shooting Rieva a smile. Keith not jealous... He wasn’t. He simply needed more coffee

“Am I making pancakes?!”

Calling out from where he’d been frying eggs and bacon, Hunk laughed as they all called back “yes”. They really felt like a weird family... a weird family that he wasn’t sure he deserved.

Settling down at the dining table with this cup of coffee, Pidge punched him in the arm

“What did I do now?”

“Birthday punches. Normally you punch the person however many times they are old, but I need more coffee for that”

“Thanks... I think?”

“You’re welcome. I’ve got your present in my bag. What did Lance give you?”

“I haven’t opened it yet...”

“Shit. I could have gotten in first... Guys, Keith hadn’t opened anyone’s present yet! He’s still fair game”

Was that a thing?

“Pidge, leave him alone. Besides, I booked the holiday!”

“You just want Keith all to yourself. I’m into your McClain!”

“He is my boyfriend!”

“Finders keepers, losers weepers”

“Merp!”

Pidge flipped Lance off. Curtis laughing at the pair of them

“With your compatibility, I am sure you would find Keith most agreeable to keep. Though he is more compatible with Lance. You’d both murder each other over the first cup of coffee for the day”

Pidge wrinkled her nose

“If I have to share my coffee like that, you can keep him”

Lance enthusiastically claiming him

“Done! He’s mine! But I left his present in his bag...”

He didn’t need presents... He didn’t need anything. Being here with them... he’d never had this like this...

“Guys... you don’t have to give me presents. You being here is enough”

Pidge raised an eyebrow

“Dude. It’s free stuff”

“I don’t need a lot”

She wasn’t backing down

“Shut up. You do too. Now drink your coffee birthday boy”

“You shouldn’t be worrying on your birthday”

“I came to check you’re okay”

“Better... just letting the cabin air a bit before... nope... never mind”

“I feel like I should apologise”

Lance hacked and spat, sounding throughly done as he did, before letting himself relax back against Keith

“You don’t need to. You’ve done nothing wrong”

“Still...”

“Nope. It’s your birthday. None of that”

“You’re being stubborn again”

“Because I’m okay. I feel better than I have in a while... other than this...”

“This is kind of my fault”

“It takes two to make a macaroon. You should be more worried about Pidge in a snow ball fight. She shows no mercy, even to her team”

“She did seem pretty keen”

“Personally I think she can’t wait to rain hell down on Matt”

“I can see that. Are you up for it?”

“Traipsing around in the cold? Ugh... maybe I’ll umpire”

“We need one?”

“You know Pidge will accuse Matt of cheating. This wasn’t supposed to... I mean... I didn’t think it’d snow so soon”

“It’s fine...”

“Mmmm... maybe. No one made a fuss, did they?”

“Nah. Shay’s the only one who doesn’t know human food doesn’t stay down”

“I really want to bring her in to sign a non-disclosure, but she deserves a life where she doesn’t have to fear the dark”

“I think she could handle it... Hunk wants to tell her”

“It’s not fair on him”

They both fell silent for a moment, Keith rubbing at Lance’s belly. This birthday was so weird. His next birthday he’d be father...

“Babe... I know birthdays aren’t the best for you, but I hope you still make some good memories of today”

“I already am... I... kind of feel weird having everyone together because of me”

“That’s because we all love you, silly. You deserve every happy moment”

“I don’t know about that”

“Then it’s a good thing that I do. You, Keith Kogane, are loved. Very much... I’m just sorry that I’m tired”

“Was last night too much?”

“Last night was perfect. So was this morning... and this morning again... you’re a total horn dog”

“I can’t help it... you’re so cute”

Lance blushed softly. Keith’s heart doing flips

“Should I be worried you’re going to gobble me up?”

“Maybe. But if you don’t want to... I mean...”

“I like having sex with you. Even if I did worry I was going to piss myself in your lap”

“Babe, I wouldn’t really... No. You need to feel safe with me”

“I do... last night was pretty close though”

“Let me know in future. I’d rather stop than hurt you”

“I know. I think maybe I’m done. My stomach feels like it’s settling”

“That’s good. I worried I put too much blood in your shake”

“You did, but it’s alright. I needed the energy boost”

“Should I be worrying about that?”

“Nah. I’m sleepy for all the right reasons... and the fucking snow”

Keith chuckled

“You’re so much like Mami. Her showing up bundled up like that”

“Mmm... I’m definitely a tropical vampire. It was hard to hide it all when Pidge and Hunk didn’t know. Hunk used to fret so much over how cold I was...”

“I’m fretting over how cold you are”

“Ahhh, but this is perfect weather for snuggling with the birthday boy, after he wins the snow fight”

“If you’re not...”

“Don’t you finish that. I’m your boyfriend, not your keeper. Have fun with our friends. I know how much you missed them. I’m not going to be lonely laughing at you guys”

“Are you sure?”

“Yep. I’ll just borrow someone’s phone and take photos”

“You could borrow my camera”

Lance raised an eyebrow, Keith not sure why

“Your camera is your baby”

Oh... that was why

“It’s not like you’re going to drop it”

“I don’t want to risk breaking it”

“You won’t. I’ll set it up so all you have to do is point and shoot”

Lance groaned at him

“They’re going to awful compared to your skills”

“I’m not that skilled”

“Not as complicated as legal jargon”

“Oh, that’s pretty up there... but give me a day in the courtroom over deciphering camera talk”

“That’s because you’re not used to it”

“Does that mean you’ll teach me?”

“If you want to learn”

Lance chuckled

“Not really. I’m happier watching you. Okay, let’s get off the floor. My butt’s going numb with the cold”

“We can’t have anything happening to that arse of yours. It’d be butt a tragedy”

“Lance, I have to ask, what’s with the shakes. You didn’t even have a proper breakfast?”

Shay finally spoke what was on her mind. Their friends all looking momentarily panicked

“I’m fine... just you know, dieting and stuff”

Shay giggled at him

“Dieting? If you diet any harder there’ll be. Nothing left of you”

“She’s right you know, you’re a twig”

Fucking Keith, Lance huffing

“I’m a manly twig. Are you’re cold. Stop trying to squish me with your coldness”

Keith laughed at him, laying back against him with that cold wet hair of his. All of them should have gone for hot showers and warm dry clothes

“You love me anyway”

“I do, but if you keep this up I might have to run away to Cuba until spring... I’m not made for cold weather”

Matt cackled at him. Stupid werewolves and their high body temperatures

“Dude, it’s not that cold. What are you going to be like when winter really sets in”

“I’m going to hibernate. Build myself a little Lance burrito and hibernate”

Keith kissed his cheek, ignoring Pidge pulling a face as he did

“Can I join in?”

“Not if you’re going to bring the cold with you. I should have grabbed my heat packs from the bag”

“Want me to grab them?”

Keith was too sweet

“Nah, just keep your frostbite to yourself. Honestly, the lot of you should have had showers and changed”

“Your age is showing, dad”

Pidge giggled at her comment. Lance sorely tempted to flip her off

“Someone’s gotta be the sane and reasonable one around here”

“As if you’re sane. I know you too well, Gremlin”

“Saner than you”

“Riiiight... I’m not the one who developed a macaroon fetish after getting out of hospital”

Lance bit down a laugh, relieved to know they didn’t suspect macaroon was a baby and not a dessert snack

“That’s right. You were in hospital. Hunk said it was an accident. Are you okay?”

Why was Shay bringing that up now?

“Yeah. I had a stomach bug and fainted. A whole lot of worry for nothing”

“Plus he’s been working in Platt...”

Hunk was trying to help, but how was he supposed to explain that? Especially when Shay looked so interested

“You’re a lawyer, right?”

“Yep. Family law. It always gets busy towards Christmas”

“Don’t let them lie to you, Shay. He and Keith have totally shacked up. We’ve been abandoned”

Shay giggled as she bumped Pidge with her shoulder

“They are kind of cute together”

“If by cute you mean “totally gross”, then sure”

Shiro finally decided to “Dad” up

“Now, now. They’re happy. That’s the main thing. So what do we want to do now?”

“I could totally go for a nap right here... the fire feels so nice. Kosmo’s got the right idea, totally digging out and letting the fire warm his balls”

Lance wished he had something to throw at Matt, instead Rieva proved to be on his side

“Mmm... that’d be nice. I left my book in our cabin. I could go for dogging out too”

Werewolves. You couldn’t take them anywhere. Curtis seemed to be on team “lounge about” too. Lance had kind of thought the weather would be clearer and they’d be able to explore the area more

“We could do presents? It’d be an excellent way to warm up again”

“Yes! Okay, let me get mine for Keith!”

“And I’ll get ours!”

Hunk seemed enthused

“Matt’s going to brave the snow and get ours, the fire’s too nice to leave”

“Baaaabe”

“Awww, do you need me to hold your hand”

“Yes”

Rieva shoved Matt in the shoulder

“Go get ours before I throw you into the snow. And be nice. Go grab Lance’s present and his heat packs. He’s making me cold looking at him”

Matt dragged himself up

“Yes, boss. Do you two want anything else from your cabin?”

Lance knew it was horrible, yet he was struck with the strong feeling of not wanting Matt in his and Keith’s space. He knew it had to be his ego being stupid, but the feeling was uncomfortable and unwanted. When he didn’t answer, Keith answered for him

“Nah, thanks for asking, man”

“Okay... I guess I’ll be back soon. No stealing my spot while I’m gone. I farted on it”

Pidge wrinkled her nose

“Are you sure you don’t just stink all the time?”

“Not funny, Katie”

“Come over here and say that. I’ll bite you”

“And risk my ankles? I think not”

Pidge glared at Matt who darted out the living area. Stupid werewolves and their high body heat, and stupid feelings. He’d nearly growled at Matt as he’d passed Keith. This was beyond ridiculous. How the fuck was he supposed to keep his secret for the whole weekend, let alone until the next scan? Maybe he should just take his bad mood back to the cabin after the presents. It was Keith’s birthday. He shouldn’t be acting pissy at their friend for absolutely no reason.

Shiro’s gift wasn’t funny. His brother was an arsehole. He’d taken a photo of him sleeping, mouth open and all, then had it printed on a blanket, with matching socks. Shiro laughing far too hard at the look on Keith’s face. He’d wanted to open Lance’s first, but Lance seemed nervous for some strange reason, so Keith was now saving his for last. He knew whatever his boyfriend gave him, it had to be better than Shiro’s.

From Curtis he received a bat. A soft toy, but none the less it was bat. Poor Shay didn’t get the joke, Lance explaining Keith was totally terrified of them. Keith defending himself over the incident in the mine, though it was pretty good coverup story if he thought about it. He liked bats a little more, though only when they were Lance and not flying past his head like some great doom cloud. Curtis producing a second present that was heavily influenced by Shiro, because it was a damn bobble head of a bat. But of them sucked... not that he’d admit it, and not that they really did... Okay, Shiro did, but he already knew how lame his brother was. At least it wasn’t more sex toys. He hadn’t even told Lance he’d brought a few things with him.

Hunk’s gift was more practical. Seeing Keith’s bike still wasn’t on the road it was a voucher for his dad’s garage. At $250 it was far too much, despite Hunk insisting he’d be doing most of the work and Keith could help if he wanted too.

Shay’s gift was a fuel card for Balmera, to go with his bike once it was up and going, and stern lecture about visiting more because they missed him. It was nice... but still, he felt like it was too much. He didn’t need $100 voucher on top of Hunk’s, though Shay said she used her staff discount it was still... a lot.

Pidge was a gremlin. She’d always be a gremlin. She’d brought him a hard book map of Platt, laughing about his terrible sense of direction, and GPS tracker that kind of looked like the ones worn when under house arrest. She laughed at the confused look on her face, explaining it was for Lance so he wouldn’t lose his boyfriend when they were out. If anyone needed a GPS it was Matt. Especially after he and Rieva had “relocated” a cow for Lance’s birthday.

From Kosmo he was gifted a bag of treats and new harness seeing the old one was snug with how much his dog had grown. Shiro had picked it out... it was red with little bones on it... definitely more his brother’s taste.

Matt had gifted him a voucher for a bike shop. Keith wondering if he really seemed the voucher type. He was under orders to get a new helmet. He hadn’t thought about it, but all his friends had been pretty worried after his accident. It felt nice to be cared about... too cared about. This wasn’t like his birthday’s in the past. No Adam with his practical gifts... Or smell of burnt cake in the air.

Rieva had gifted him books... Vampire romance books... that he wasn’t sure how to accept. He only wanted to be intimate with one vampire, so possibly Lance would have a laugh out of them later. Shiro’s gift was bad but this wasn’t that great... Did Rieva always... Surely she didn’t just read porn... Rieva was smart, highly educated, and confident in herself... but even she couldn’t ignore pop culture making things seem like everything was possible when you were a vampire... Maybe she thought he could use a laugh?

Lance’s gift was finally the last. By now Keith really didn’t want to open up another voucher. He already had anxiety thinking about going shopping. Naturally he wanted to take Lance, but that was now even more dangerous. They hadn’t even had like a real date. They’d missed their reservation and opera with Lotor and Allura didn’t count. Lance‘a gift wasn’t that big... it felt like it was maybe two thing in there... and something kind of solid...

“Open it already!”

Trust Pidge to want to rush him. She probably wanted to know what vampires thought an acceptable gift when dating a hunter. Careful with the tag, he placed it aside. Yeah. No one else got that treatment, but then again, no one else had bothered putting a tag on it. The gift wrapped in red ribbon, Lance knowing he loved the colour red... the paper was plain white, not giving him any clues to the contents.

Unwrapping Lance’s present, he was actually really thrilled. It wasn’t a voucher. It wasn’t something to do with his bike, that he now felt a little self conscious about. He loved his bike and missed the feel of straddling her... not that Lance knew he called her a “her”. There was a small butterfly knife, not great in a real fight but a handy thing to have in a human fight. His collection of them was somewhere in the boxes from the move. The second knife was a proper good quality hunting knife, his name engraved on the hilt. This... this was definitely making onto his work belt

“I know you don’t like big expensive gifts. And I wanted to give you something useful. Just don’t go stabbing me with it”

Lance nuzzled into him, Keith kind of in shock. Like... he knew Lance paid close attention to the things he liked, and he felt like after Lance admitted he didn’t know much about cameras that it was Lance’s was of confessing he didn’t know much about him. He’d been totally wrong

“I won’t... babe... it’s perfect”

Keith hadn’t realised Shiro was actually recording the whole present opening thing. His brother chuckling

“I guess we know who’s gift he likes the most”

It was when he flipped his brother off that he noticed. It was probably bad that he wanted to start training with it...

“I love it...”

“We can tell. Happy birthday, kiddo”

Keith’s feelings flooded through him. The amount of love he felt for the group of people surrounding him was too much. He didn’t... he couldn’t thank them enough. Wrapping his arms around him, Keith hid his face against Lance’s cheek completely limp in Lance’s hold

“Happy birthday, samurai”

“I...”

“It’s okay... you’re allowed to be happy. You’re allowed to be scared too... Pidge is pretty scary”

“Fuck you. I’m a nice person when I want to be”

Lance chuckled

“See. She’s a terror. Okay, now that presents are done, I’m totally going for a nap... Take care of Keith for me”

He didn’t get to come? Shiro chuckled at the pair of them

“Don’t worry about that. He’s got his blades to play with. We’ll keep an eye on him”

“I’d prefer you kept both on him, or he’s likely to lose one of his own, and I’m afraid I can’t let him. I love his eyes too much”

When Lance left for his nap, Keith felt kind of lost. He couldn’t help but worry if his boyfriend made it back to the cabin and if he was okay. Still overwhelmed, he found himself sitting on the veranda of the cabin, playing with his camera because Shay would probably freak out if he played with his knife. Inside the others had figured out how to hook Pidge’s laptop up, playing some interactive game with their phones, which Hunk didn’t seem to be doing well at. Hearing the sliding door open, he knew it’d be Shiro coming to check on him.

Sitting down beside him, his brother looped his arm over Keith’s shoulders

“How you doing?”

“Okay... I... don’t really know”

“It’s definitely different to birthdays back in Rome”

“Yeah... louder... with more people and presents. It’s kind of weird”

“Really? I think it’s nice”

Keith looked up to Shiro who smiled down at him

“That’s because you’re weird”

“Nah. My baby brother is having the best birthday of his life. What more could I hope for?”

“Not to be surrounded by weirdos?”

“Nah. They’re fine. Is Lance okay?”

“He doesn’t like the cold...”

“I gathered that by how high the aircon’s been in the apartment. I also heard you kept a couple of wolves up last night”

Keith blushed. He loved the sounds Lance made and hadn’t thought about his voice carrying

“Yeah... I know it’s sex... but with him...”

“It feels special”

Special didn’t come close

“Yeah. We hadn’t done anything since the accident...”

“I understand that. As long as you two are okay, that’s all that matters”

“Are you okay? Is Curtis?”

“Yep. He’s worried about Lance but knows Lance will talk to him properly when he’s ready. He’s missed having him back at the house”

Keith groaned. He didn’t want Lance going back

“Kiddo?”

“I... it’s not fair but I... I get stuck thinking about what if he falls down the stairs again. We were so lucky the first time”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine. I’m sure everything will be fine”

“The word for that is “macaroon””

“Let me guess, Lance decided?”

“Nope. We couldn’t decide what an “idiot crumpet” made when combined with an “anger loaf””

Shiro snorted with laughter

“He’s a bit strange with the bread analogies”

“He’s fine. I think you’re a croissant but it really depends on his mood”

“Because I’m delicious and a killer on the hips?”

Keith wrinkled his nose. His brother was too into this

“I don’t want to think about that. That can stay between you and Curtis”

“In that case let’s just say Curtis really likes croissants”

Thank god he didn’t say he liked buttered croissants or croissants with cream

“Ew... I’ve seen too much as it is. Is everyone else having fun?”

“Yeah. They get it. They don’t expect you to have to hide away what you’re feeling”

“Even when I don’t feel like I deserved everything they gave me. Them being here was enough”

“They chose gifts thinking of you. I gotta say, that GPS on your ankle would save me hours of worry”

“If you like it that much you should wear it”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

A comfortable silence fell between the two brothers. Shiro had done so much for him. Keith wished he knew how to pay him back for everything. He’d given him first happy birthday memories that he could remember. The door behind the slid open, then closed, again, Curtis coming out to join them. Sitting down on Keith’s other side, he was squashed in an idiot sandwich

“Pidge is ruthless. She and Shay have broken Hunk and Matt”

That sounded about normal for them, Keith asking

“And you?”

“Came to see what was taking you two so long. I was sure you’d be with Lance”

“He wanted to take a nap”

“I’ve noticed the change in his energy levels. Don’t tell me. He will when he’s ready. I do worry about him in the cold... It won’t kill him, but he may become aggressive if his body temperature drops too low”

Shiro sighed at Curtis

“Don’t stress Keith out. I’m sure Lance is fine”

Or he could be huddled up freezing his arse off

“Nope. I’m stressed now. I’m going to check on him. Shiro, take care of my camera for me, I’ll be back soon”

As Keith left the two idiots behind, he could hear Shiro scolding his boyfriend, Curtis protesting awkwardly. Their friends were so damn weird.

#once bitten twice stupid #oncebittentwicestupid #ashratherose

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