#am I reading too much into this made up shipping discourse in my head and I should just read the book instead of shitposting about it?

[microknifeyuri]

;; ( strawpage || check out my scenecore mic art! | check out my object hosts designs! / any pronouns, aroace bi-oriented cupioromantic, panadoxgender. ) ;; self ship blog: @echoiclove || mic "daily" blog: @microphone-ii (inactive as of now) || join my super awesome discord server boy || more info under "read more"

!!! ANY II CONTENT I MAKE IS CANON DIVERGENT (UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE) AND I WILL ONLY MAKE CONTENT OF IT UNDER THE BRAINWASH AU IDEA. S2C NEVER HAPPENED. !!!

I would prefer it if people who labelled themselves as proships or antis didn't interact with me. The definition of whatever shipping discourse is going on stopped making sense long enough. HOWEVER. I don't want people who do enjoy problematic content to interact with my stuff either. Nor are they allowed to make content of it. Much LESS to make messed up shit with it.

character analysis masterpost

( Tags that I use and their meaning. )

#maxposteo :: your daily dose of Max's facts or thoughts.

#postmaxxing :: shitpost/nonserious posts/it's not that deep posts.

#max does art :: full rendered/colored art, fics, edits, or others.

#max's raw art :: wips/unfinished artwork.

#max explains the ii gkgg au :: if you're interesed about the ii gkgg au, you can find some extra lore/fun shenanigans on the asks I answer! You can drop an ask there too!

#ii fandom neg: this tag is not exclusive (meaning that you can use it as well), but i basically rant about the ii fandom's stupidity and lack of media literacy.

byi:

- i dislike any taco ships (especially taco/mic) so don't expect to see any of that here

- i ship microknife, if you are uncomfortable by that, then i would advice for you to not follow me? but you can do whatever you want, just a heads-up because each month i go kind of rabid and drop 10 posts about them.

- i fw nickcase. idc what you have to say atp but i do like them. idgaf if you don't and want to interact but like. don't be mean or whatever

- I feel like I should say this but like. I don't like Shadowvanilla. I do however find the possessive themes on SMilk's behaviour regarding Pure Vanilla to be There and also people just make really good art about it. I hope Shadow Milk gets hit by a bus.

Masterpost list! (Designs/Gijinkas and such!)

Can I use these designs?

- You can! But if you do, please do not change the headcanons that are on them! And don't use them to draw T4c0mic, Kn1fan or you know, anything shitty.

Can I get inspired off your designs?

- YES YOU CAN!!!

Can I draw them?

- Yes!

Note: Some designs need a rework and others are outdated. I'll be adding the edits on the list as well. A new masterpost will be made once I am happy with the designs.

( Inanimate Insanity. )

1. Mephone4, Co-hosts, Support Characters + Meeple HQ (Inanimate Insanity) [OUTDATED]

2. MADE A SHOW AND IT'S NAME IS INANIMATE INSANITY... it's very catchy!!! (Gijinkas of the FULL II cast) [OUTDATED]

3. My objectsona's ref! <- (Heart Locket) || My objectsona's ref! <- (Roots) || My ponysona's ref! <- (Stellar Astromane) || My Micsona's ref! || (more will be added)

4. Bot, Lifering, Soap, Box & Dough gijinka edits!

5. Post S2 Microphone design! (Outdated! Check point 20!)

6. S2/ Post S2 Trophy redesign!

7. Lightbulb Gijinka Redesign!

8. OJ and Knife redesigns/updated ref.

9. The Floor (redesign) and Walkie Talkie Gijinka design!

10. Test Tube gijinka redesign!

11. Post II Knife gijinka design!

12. Clover gijinka redesign!

13. Silver Spoon gijinka redesign!

14. Fan gijinka redesign!

15. Bomb gijinka redesign!

16. Apple gijinka redesign!

17. Mephone4 post ii gijinka design!

18. Baseball, Suitcase, Salt, Pepper, Balloon, Paintbrush and Pickle gijinka redesigns!

19. Yinyang gijinka redesign!

20. Microphone Gijinka Post S2 design!

21. Cabby, Candle, Goo and Toilet gijinka designs!

22. Soap gijinka redesign.

(Other Object Shows)

1. IPad Gijinka (Object Invasion)

2. Kit & Pilly & Limey (BURNER), Moonlight & Nori & Skull (TDOS), Bubble & Snowball (BFDI/BFB/TPOT) [yes. all in one.]

(Other stuff)

1. II GKGG AU swap list

- more will be added once posted.

[biconickyoshi]

Hi! The Zukaang prophecy dream person here. What you said about a lot of people not even considering Aang and Zuko as a ship made me think. Following that thought, I fell down a rabbit hole that turned into something a lot deeper than just shipping discourse. I'm not a professional psychologist or anything, but I hope some of my insight on this topic is interesting. I apologise in advance for so many words to read!

As a kid I remember being very clueless about romance. I never really interpreted Aang's affection towards Katara as romantic at all, and I honestly have no idea why, since they literally kissed on screen multiple times. So that's why, for years, I remember trying to find a ship that I would like, yet nothing seemed to click just right. That is until the Avatar Renaissance of 2020 when a lot of new people joined the fandom, and a flood of new discussions arose, way different than it used to be years ago. It made me realize that the core of the issue lies in Aang himself. At least that's my own theory, feel free to disagree. A lot of popular avatar ships include everyone from the main cast, but rarely ever Aang himself, apart from the canon Kataang. In all aspects, Aang is an unconventional protagonist, one unheard of at the time. He is a monk, he is a pacifist, he is a vegetarian. For an average kid or teenager in 2005, I don't think much of these aspects are too relatable. We were and still are used to seeing agressive, determined teenage protagonists, ready to beat up the bad guy at any opportunity. That's what was considered "cool". So a bald 12 year old boy with an arrow on his head who grew up in a temple, surrounded by monks, who avoids hurting people, even those who wiped out his entire nation, is simply foreign. You often hear arguments against Kataang: he is too young for her, she sees him as a little brother, they simply don't fit. Those are all false statements, as rewatching the show without bias you can clearly see them love each other deeply and mutually. Aang is a child, but he is a person too, someone with his own values and principles, and so is Katara. To me, both of them are deserving of love, Aang is deserving of Katara's love.

I am now going to talk about the genocide of the air nomads, as I think I can provide a unique perspective on this. I am Ukrainian. The russian invasion of my country has been going for 10 years now, but two years ago specifically my whole world turned upside down when russia launched a full scale invasion, intending to conquer all of Ukraine. A lot of my beliefs of how the world worked changed drastically. Seeing myself from years ago in people from around the world, not yet knowing war, I think this is something you have to experience yourself to truly understand what it means for another nation to want yours erased from existence. Aang's entire nation is gone. Everyone. No one is alive, not a single person. I don't think many people truly let that sink in. He has to keep going every day with the knowledge that the world he is in doesn't have a place for his nation anymore. He has nowhere to go and no one to come to. He has the gaang, and that's wonderful, but it's not the same. He is the only person in the entire world who truly bears this pain. To me, imagining that for myself, is an indescribable horror. To imagine having no place to come back to, living among strangers who know nothing of you and your people. Yes, he has the temples that preseve history, but how much of them has been destroyed? Even the people at the Northern air temple, although fleeing a disaster, still contributed to the destruction and loss of that history.

Yet, bearing this unimaginative hurt, Aang is able to forgive. He is able to make peace with his loss, and let go of his feelings of rage. He wants to see good in the Fire nation people. And through that, he is the only one who can truly see Zuko as he is. Having let go of anger and hurt, he can see the genuine wish Zuko has for atoning for his family's sins. He can literally see through him, all his feelings and thoughts, like no one else. He holds no grudge, no hatered for him. If you ever have a war, genocide unleashed on your country, you would know how impossible it is to forgive. Yet, Aang, as the avatar, has no choice but to do just that, to let go. I think that alone makes Aang one of the strongest people in the avatar universe.

But how is this relevant to the Aang ships being dismissed? Circling back, to me, this is a matter of understanding. People resonate with Katara for her experience as a younger sister, thrown into the role of a mother figure, for her experience as a teenage girl in a sexist world, someone with a desire to become stronger despite being denied that opportunity, be it by the circumstances or by someone stronger than her deeming her "unworthy". People resonate with Sokka for his struggle to become a reliable leader, for his insecurity being the only one without a special "talent" (aka bending). Toph for her sheltered upbringing and parents that are unwilling to see her as more than just her disability. Zuko for his struggle with his identity, his own values versus those forced upon him, an abusive household, repressed emotions and anger, being a sibling of someone way more naturally talented, coming to terms with the hurt he has caused and atoning for it. But what can people find in Aang that resonates with them? All of what Aang is, is grand and bigger than yourself. I relate to Aang as someone whose nation is being subjected to genocide, but is that a common experience? I'm sure that nowadays a lot more people came to appreciate Aang's character more, but as a child in the 2000s, would you really say you saw yourself in Aang as much as you saw yourself in Sokka, Katara, Toph or Zuko?

In conclusion, my theory is that, because of how unique Aang has been written, that prevents people from seeing him as someone they could imagine in a relationship with someone else. After all, how can you write about someone you don't share many life experiences with? How do you write them in love? How do you make someone so different from you come to life?

Anyway, thanks a lot for reading all of my brain vomit. Avatar is truly a goldmine for character analysis and study. Would really love to hear what you think!

I absolutely loved reading your analysis on Aang's character, anon. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you've brought up here. I think it's so true that many people (whether they're conscious of it or not) view Aang through a certain lens due to how unconventional of a protagonist and person he is. To many, he's not "supposed" to be the one who "gets the girl". He's not your stereotypical handsome/buff/rugged teenage boy protagonist; he's small, kind, goofy, and pacifistic. And I think in general that people find it difficult to wrap their heads around a male character like Aang not conforming to Western and/or patriarchal society's expectations/conventions when it comes to behavior and overall physical appearance. I think this also results in a lot of people unconsciously infantilizing Aang and having a hard time viewing him in a shippable way.

It's also interesting that you brought up Aang's almost "otherness" when it comes to the world he finds himself in when he awakens from the iceberg - he is the last one of his kind in a world where nobody remembers his people. He's from a culture that is vastly different from the ones that remain in the world. His philosophy, mannerisms, gender expression, appearance, etc. are all completely unique, not only canonically in the post-genocide AtLA world, but in our world as well, especially in the West.

The fact that despite everything Aang has been through, despite all the atrocities he has witnessed, he still is able to remain true to himself at his core through to the very end is so moving to me. Aang will always be my favorite character all time simply because of who he is. Even as a kid, I loved him so much - I never had a crush on Zuko or Sokka, it was always Aang. He represented not only the type of person I would want to be, but also the type of person I would want to be with. And sure, he's not perfect, but that's another one of the many things I love about him - he's human, he makes mistakes.

I feel like I could say more, but you already wrote so much good stuff in your analysis, and I'm not sure if there's much I could add haha.

Also, thank you for sharing your perspective as someone who lives in Ukraine - I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be dealing with all of Russia's BS the past decade, and especially recently. I sincerely hope you're staying safe and healthy! <3

[the-shy-wolf]

I’ll be posting this to Twitter tomorrow, but since I’m more active here, I’ll go ahead and post. To everyone who has supported me up to this point, I appreciate everything, more than you will ever know. Despite my claims of being an ‘edgelord’, I think it’s no secret that that’s absolutely not the case. I’m an incredibly sensitive person. So sensitive, in fact, that I’m easily stressed when it comes to certain things. I’ve been having to take frequent breaks from the internet due to my extreme levels of anxiety. My anxiety has been so bad, I now have seizures due to my stress levels being so high. Don’t worry, I am working with a therapist and psychologist with this, and with therapy and appropriate medication, I can beat it.

With that being said, I’m sorry to say I’m stepping away from the Deltarune fandom. I’m sad and extremely conflicted about it, because it was Deltarune that helped me make so many friends and meet so many people. This is my first time having a place in fandom, I was briefly involved in the Adventure Time fandom, but that was years ago and it was a brief thing. I’ve never had this many eyes on me, and it’s overwhelming. My time and the emotional investment I’ve been putting into fandom/art has felt like a second job, and I’m not okay with that. I originally started posting art, because I was inspired. It’s also helped me cope with the loss of my brother. But it’s no longer a coping method, it feels more like a chore and it no longer brings me happiness. I’ve been harassed by anon hate/criticisms mercilessly, and it’s taken a toll on me. I’m 30 years old, and if I have not developed a thick skin now, it’s safe to say I never will. Which is another thing I want to bring up: I no longer want to draw ship art of Deltarune characters, and that includes Kris and Susie. I’m tired of the shipping discourse/hate, and to be honest, I don’t want to only be known for shipping characters from a game. I think it’s made people not take me seriously as an artist at all, and it’s no longer enjoyable. I started shipping the characters because they both reminded me of my partner and I, but now, it’s all anyone ever relates my work to, and that includes oc’s. It’s frustrating. I’m a short, brown headed enby. Bram is a big freckled long haired dude. My ocs look like us. Please stop mixing the two- it ain’t that deep.

I’m sorry if this came out of the blue, but after receiving my diagnosis yesterday, I need to cut back on my stress levels, and a lot of that stress stems from fandom. Will I draw DR in the future? Maybe. Especially once new content is dropped. Idk if it will be shipping, but it’ll be something. I will, of course, continue to support all of my art friends. You’ve been nothing but kind and supportive of me, and despite my absence, I care very, very much. So much, in fact, I isolate myself from everyone because I don’t feel worthy to associate or even share my art. I know that’s a shitty excuse, but it’s true. There is a voice in my head that keeps telling me I’m not worthy to even associate. If this disappoints my friends/supporters, I’m so very sorry. It’s how my brain has always worked.

I also want to apologize for leaving my other sm accounts. I was not trying to worry or cause panic. I don’t think too many people even noticed, which is good. It’s not the first time I’ve deactivated. My hands get busy and sometimes deactivating and stepping away is a good reset button for me. But I wanted to throw all of this out there. I’m sorry if this is disappointing or upsetting, but I want to be honest. About all of it.

Thank you for reading, again- I’m so sorry. I’ll probably reactivate and post this message to Twitter tomorrow.

[bigklingy]

Well I guess this could be sorta fun. Also, spoilers here. 1. It was a Fire Emblem game. 2. No, and all of them but the original FE1 and FE2. 3. Chris Hackney got robbed HARD of Best Performance at the 2019 Game Awards. 4. Azure Moon. 5. Verdant Wind. 6. Azure Moon. 7. I made a tier list on my tumblr a while back but I'm too lazy to search for it. 8. Kronya should've been a recurring villain, instead of dying half a chapter after killing Byleth's dad. Imagine if the BLACK KNIGHT went out like that?? 9. Ahem, "Dimitri's motivation is maxed out." A.k.a "Dimitri goes bananas." 10. Swordmaster for being better than its intended promotion somehow. 11. I forget, which kinda says something. 12. Sofibeth Arts did fanart of a memetic NPC from my first playthrough, Blilda! https://sofibeth-arts.tumblr.com/post/188826204925/thank-to-bigklingy-we-have-discovered-three 13. I don't read 3H fics. Too much discourse. 14. I have a silly Dimitri x Edelgard parody fic. 15. Have a hypothetical P5 crossover in my head. 16. Grappler Hanneman, Seteth, Flayn, Cyril, Alois, Catherine, Shamir, Manuela, Normal Hanneman, Rhea, Gilbert. 17. Ferdinand, Hubert, Edelgard, Linhardt, Petra, Caspar, Dorothea, Bernadetta. 18. Dimitri favourite, Dedue least, everyone else tied. BL are all so good it's hard to choose. 19. Hilda, Lysithea, Marianne, Lorenz, Ignaz, Claude, Raphael... lol I forgot Leonie entirely. (Sorry Leonie fans) 20. Manuela. 21. Sylvain, maybe? 22. Rhea. She doesn't strike me as someone interested in romance at all. 23. Well, Blilda (Green unit in AM Chapter 19 replacing Hilda if she's recruited) is a Female War Master... 24. Yuri I guess? 25. I don't feel Byleth's sexuality is conventional, but I don't have a specific label for it. 26. Dimitri, obvious pick is obvious. 27. Off the top of my head, Ignatz? 28. Bernadetta. While I don't agree with Edelgard ideologically, that's different from disliking the character. Bernadetta, I feel the game ends up fetishizing her abusive past to a disturbing degree. I'm aware this is a hot take. 29. Jeralt, Kronya, Claude, Rhea. 30. ANNA. A character with absolutely zero supports in a modern FE game should not exist. Worse, they're DLC. Skipping all design questions, would require me to look through tons of art and I don't have a good sense of design aesthetics anyway. 37. I seem to remember someone had funny dining dialogue but I forget who. 38. Felix liking cats made me lol. 39. Hilda I guess. 40. Dorothea always offers to join without me even trying. I'm not sure why. 41. Claude ships Edelgard/Dimitri and distributes his fanart and fanfiction during the war as propaganda. 42. Azure Moon has the best writing for Edelgard. 43. Sylvain/Mercedes. 44. Edelgard/Dimitri is HILARIOUS and my coping mechanism when discourse bothers me. 45. Sylvain/Mercedes. 46. Unsure. 47. Hilda. It's really the ONLY one I've done, but it was fine. 48. Hilda/Marianne, I'M SORRY. I just don't see it. 49. Dorothea/Hanneman. WHY is this romantic and explicitly mentions them having children, when his endings with all other students are platonic?? 50. FEMALE BYLETH/MERCEDES, easily. Compared to the other female bi options, I feel this is rarely talked about.

50 Questions of FE3H

The ultimate FE3H ask game - Send me an ask and reblog to play!

What drew you to / made you pick up and play FE3H?

Was FE3H your first Fire Emblem game?  If not, which other games did you play?

Who is your favorite FE3H voice actor?

Which route did you play through first in FE3H?

Which route did you play through last?

Which route is your favorite?

Which side quest / paralogue was your favorite?

What storyline threads should have had more development / been further explored?

What is your favorite scene in the game (can be in the main story or a support convo)?

What’s your favorite combat class?

What’s your go-to weapon or spell in combat?

Post a link / reblog your favorite FE3H fanart (no reposting / credit erasure!!).

Post a link to your favorite FE3H fanfic.

If you’ve posted your own fanart or fanfic, post a link to the piece you are most proud of.

If you are an artist or writer, are you currently working on any new FE3H content (art or fanfic)?  If so, will you share a sneak preview?

Rank the Church of Seiros characters from your favorite to least favorite.

Rank the Black Eagles from your favorite to least favorite.

Rank the Blue Lions from your favorite to least favorite.

Rank the Golden Deer from your favorite to least favorite.

What character do you headcanon as bi?

What character do you headcanon as poly?

What character do you headcanon as ace or aro?

What character do you headcanon as trans?

What character do you headcanon as genderfluid?

What character do you headcanon as another sexual orientation or gender identify not listed above?

Who is your overall favorite character?

Which character do you feel “meh” about?

What character do you not like at all / hate?

What character should have gotten more development?

What characters should have more support options and who should have been their support options?

What is your favorite pre-timeskip character design or outfit?

What is your favorite post-timeskip character design or outfit?

What is your least favorite (or hated) pre-timeskip character design or outfit?

What is your least favorite (or hated) post-timeskip character design or outfit?

Which characters would you like to see switch pre-timeskip designs (for fun)?

Which characters would you like to see switch post-timeskip designs (for fu0?

Who are your favorite dining partners?

Who is your favorite teatime companion?

Who is your favorite / most used combat unit?

What character do you always recruit, no matter which route you are playing and why?

What is a favorite character headcanon (can be one you came up with or one you liked / adopted from someone else)?

Do you have / are you willing to share a possibly controversial opinion or headcanon you have about a character?

Who is your favorite in-game ship (meaning they have supports and a confirmed romantic ending card)?

Who is your favorite headcanon ship (meaning they either have supports but not necessarily a romantic ending or they may have no supports at all)?

Who is your FE3H OTP?

Who is your FE3H poly ship?

Who is your favorite Byleth ship?

What is a popular ship that you don’t care for / don’t like?

What is a general (not necessarily popular) ship that you don’t care for / don’t like?

Which ship do you wish was more popular / had more content available?

[miabrown007]

the Night Circus is fiction because there's no way an Adrien-level sheltered guy goes out to the streets in the 19th century and kisses a girl in an hour

[letsliketurtles]

shipping does not equal morality (personal rant)

Hi to whoever found this and wants to take the time to read my personal thoughts on something I investigated and spent some genuine reflection time for several weeks. 

If anybody has been following my posts, you’d know that I commented on the Encanto fandom’s TW/Madrigalcest shippings and gave a respectful heads up that I wouldn’t be commenting much on it, although I am proship. I wanted to follow up on that and come out here to say that I am no longer against it and for me to have been against it reveals my own hypocrisy in proship. This absolutely does NOT mean I condone incest in real life, nor does it mean anybody else who creates works for it does. I just wanna take this time to dive deeper into why properly discussing proship within fandoms is becoming increasingly important in understanding how people engage with each other. The Encanto fandom is still quite young but the tendencies occurring within it must be discussed respectfully. 

After exploring the Encanto fandom spaces across social media, there is without a doubt an extremely large audience that indulges in Madrigalcest, canon x oc pairings, nsfw, and all different kinds of head canons. I have nothing against this, in fact, I encourage it. On Twitter, some of the Encanto animators have been questioned whether or not they are aware of all of this “sinful (as the morally righteous fans would argue)” fan content being made and they’ve acknowledged it in a positive manner by stating that they don’t mind and enjoy seeing how other people interpret their works. The animators have literally answered before that they are not disturbed nor against it. 

Does this mean you, whoever you are, have to be proship/tolerant too? Of course not! Everybody is free to interpret media in their own ways and find comfort in whatever way suits them because SHIPPING DOES NOT EQUAL MORALITY. Fictional writings, works, drawings, etc. are NOT always a direct introspective look into the artist. In 2022, I would’ve thought that internet fandoms would be “woke” enough to understand that there is no reason for anybody to harass fans through public callouts, threads explaining why they are horrible people and should harm themselves, or wish sexual abuse upon others over FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. If anything, we’re approaching a limit where I am STUNNED by how many younger fans are the very ones smiting each other with such violent words. There are many adults inappropriately engaging in this disgusting behavior as well with little to no regard that there is another human being behind that user screen. Where is the humility when it comes to REAL fans and internet users? Is it only reserved for fictional comfort characters or for people who strictly agree with you? 

I have a high tolerance for what people will interpret/create in their fictional works because I understand the human complexity that exists in trauma works. Does everybody forget that some of the most famous works were written out of needing to cope with trauma, such as death and abuse? But I also understand that sometimes people just create things for the hell of it! Both are perfectly fine. I believe that any attempt to put a morality spectrum on somebody’s fictional works, unless they are explicitly meant to portray moral correctness, is a waste of precious time and energy. 

The Encanto fandom is an interesting example of where the international majority across Tik Tok, YouTube, and Instagram is rooted in understanding that most of their fan works are fictional and most importantly, for fun. On Twitter and other parts of Instagram, there is an extremely resilient American minority who attempts to oust the majority who exhibit proship tendencies and overall tolerant towards differing fanon opinions/art. Their fandom discourse has become so extreme to where trending hashtags such as “#ShutUpGringo2022″ were used in opposition to the minority who keeps attempting to police how the majority enjoy Encanto and other Latine works. This is such an unfortunate event and it saddens me to see how it is also not the only instance of this fandom’s conflict. There is no point in policing somebody’s experience online in fandom spaces unless they are directly harassing or causing harm to you. We have so many methods of blocking and muting users/tags, yet people will still go out of their way to express their anger against other fans. 

I could understand the upheaval of the minority if Disney or the Encanto animators directly spoke up against it. However, they do not. Why wouldn’t they? Hello? Any sort of fandom attention is better for their product than no attention at all lol. It wouldn’t be the first Disney controversy either. Until then, I don’t understand why would anybody go out of their way to express such deep opposition when majority of the international fandom across various social media accounts will post Madrigalcest...

ANYWAYS, I still won’t post much about those ships because I can appreciate it from the distance without having to trash others for enjoying it. Cmon, stuff like this is supposed to be fun. It’s 2022, just let people do what they wanna do online so long as it’s legal and it doesn’t endanger anybody. Most of us are strangers to one another anyways. It’s just as easy to hit the block/mute button and get on with your life with good vibes. Peace. ✌️ 

[splishsplashyouropinionistrash]

We’re back, bitches!

You will never escape me.

It’s time, once again, for AFTG Hot Takes, the show where I just say whatever the fuck pops into my head.

Today’s topic: Kevin Day and his romantic interests.

Now, okay, I’ve discussed this a bit in previous posts. I’m not going to go too far in depth for the two ships I’ve talked about already.

Please, for the love of god, these are just my opinions. I’m literally just a teenager on the internet. It’s not that deep, you don’t need to write a ten paragraph essay on why grooming is okay (although tbf that made my night. Still waiting on a reply, bb)

With that out of the way, let’s get into it.

I’ll be honest, I’m not a fan of most Kevin ships. I only like two of them, so we’ll save those for last.

1. First up we’ve got Kevandriel, Kevneil, and Kevandrew (pls dont @ me, i’m not 100% on those names)

I hate it. Despise it. Just so bad. Ew.

I made a whole post on why I have Kevandriel, read it if you want. 

Kevandrew (Kevin/Andrew) just doesn’t make any sense. Their personalities don’t mesh at all. Kevin doesn’t take no for an answer, which is something that is so important for Andrew.

Kevneil (Kevin/Neil) is one I just don’t like because, as we all know, I am a petty bitch. I don’t have a reason for disliking it, really. It just... idk, gives me the ick.

2. Moving on, Kevin and Thea.

I made a post regarding this one too, check it out (or don’t).

I don’t feel like rehashing all of that tho, honestly. (but pls feel free to read the reblogs, some were v good and others just made me cackle. Still looking at you, grooming guy)

3. Now, onto the ones I haven’t discussed. We’ll go with Kevjean first.

So, I mean... it’s not impossible that this actually happened in cannon, however. Just judging by the reactions these two had to each other once Jean was out of the Nest, them sustaining a healthy relationship would be nearly impossible.

Also, I am a diehard Jerjean fan (thanks gus_47, I blame you and the masterpiece that is Hoax for this) so I just... can’t bring myself to picture Jean with anyone else.

4. Kevin and Jeremy!

Listen, I don’t hate this one. I simply adore those fun lil fics where Kev is tripping over himself cause he’s in love with Jeremy (looking at you, quicksand). They’re so fun! But, Jerjean owns my soul (again, thank you Hoax) so it’s gonna have to be a no from me.

5. Kevin and Matt

I’ll be real with you, I didn’t know this existed until yesterday, and I am shocked.

I haven’t stopped to think about it much, and I probably won’t, because Dan. I just- that is her husband, excuse you.

6. Kevallison (Kevin/Allison)

I don’t mind this one, honestly. I sorta get it, tbf. 

HOWEVER.

Diehard Renison fan. Enough said.

And now, at last, we come to the two Kevin ships that I can (and do!!) suport whole-heartedly.

7. Kevaaron !! (Kevin/Aaron)

Listen, I just love their personalities. I love the idea of these two assholes healing together. Simply adore.

Before you say it (you know who you are, and yes I’m still salty ab this) I. Don’t. Ship. It. Because. I. Want. Andrew. And. Kevin. Together. ffs, people. What kind of person do you think I am? 

8. Kevin and... (drumroll please)

Himself!

I am 100% in support of aroace Kevin living his best life with his friends and family.  

I mean, it’s lovely. Spectacular. 10/10, adore it.

Okay okay I’m done (for now)

Let me know what other hot takes you’d like to hear!

And as always, if you disagree with anything I’ve said, fight me! I mean that, i love a bit of lighthearted discourse. (unless your opinions are truly heinous, in which case I will verbally punch you in the trachea.)

Blah blah hitman, blah blah death threats

[sneezemonster15]

In my very short time in this fandom, I have been able to understand one thing. The reason why a lot of shippers and fans don’t want to even consider Sasuke and Naruto’s bond as romantic or that Sasuke and Naruto could possibly be gay, is because they simply don’t see the reason to. 

And no matter how much you appeal to their common sense or rationality, they won’t. 

Naruto is a shounen manga designed keeping teenagers in mind. I don’t know why Kishi thought it would be a good idea to write a gay love story in shounen, considering its limitations, but he did. And look how it turned out. An all out disaster in the end.

I have been attacked by five different SS and NH shippers on my blog in the last two days. And they got abusive, really abusive. When I looked at their arguments, they were all basically the same, identical. No amount of reasoning could get through their heads. They couldn’t tell the difference between canon and non-canon, canon and headcanon. They would feel completely at home devising uncorroborated ‘proofs’ for headcacons such as Sasuke does love Sakura, Sakura is a strong female character, Hinata was Naruto’s first bond, Naruto and Sasuke are brothers, Sasuke is a terrorist etc etc.

They simply cannot even fathom that Kishimoto could have written a gay love story in their favourite show with their favourite ship and their favourite self insert. 

A lot of these shippers are very young, they are the target group of this genre. At that age, justifiably so, most cannot comprehend the complexities of life, family, LGBT+ discourse, feminism, narrative, visual language, narrative choices and nuances etc. And agree with it or not, truth is Naruto is not a simplistic story. It is a multilayered and complex story about love, family, political intrigue, belief systems, ethical and societal values, complex gay coming of age issues, philosophical impressions, meditation on war, peace, importance of communication etc. and is quite cinematic in its execution for the most part, with a distinctive style of visual language.

 Apart from the fact that after a point it becomes clear that Kishi could not juggle all these different threads together and went out of his depth, he did manage to create certain narratives that made sense and facilitated the potential for a satisfactory resolution.

Sasuke and Naruto’s story was one of them. 

Sasuke and Naruto are complex characters, so is their bond. Kishi mindfully imbued their bond with numerous nuances and gay coming of age tropes but the problem is, these nuances that denote romantic love between the two went unregistered by the majority of its target audience. A majority of this target group could not even recognize these nuances, let alone understand them. It is also a factor that most viewers can recognise the same nuances in het pairings, but can't even begin to comprehend them in m/m pairings. It's unimaginable for them.

TBH, most kids self insert in the shows they watch or stuff they read, whether it’s a ship or a battle or a dramatic situation, whatever. It’s how they learn to understand media, we all did it as kids. A lot of these fans who watched or read Naruto as kids and are adults now, have certain emotional associations with Naruto the series and they won’t let any amount of rational explanation come in the way of that, it’s too personal to them. Which is also understandable. Some of them may be ready to accept gay culture otherwise but they won’t agree that Sasuke and Naruto are gay, that’s why they get so righteously angry when SNS shippers call them homophobic for considering them just friends or brothers. You can’t tell them otherwise because the truth is Naruto manga also has all the other tropes of shounen which are supposedly ‘suitable’ for kids (and I am using the word ‘suitable’ with a pinch of salt here, they would definitely not be suitable for where I come from), and they simply can’t even imagine situating a gay love story in it, which itself is an aberration in this genre. 

You can try engaging with them, but more often than not, it will be pointless. It is not something they need to be told, it is something they need to see for themselves. You can rant and rave about the significance and deeply emotional and romantic meaning of chapter 698, it won’t matter. They won’t be able to understand what they can’t see.

Sure, some of them are plain homophobes or less than bright, but mostly, this gap in understanding of the narrative is because of a misjudged medium on the creators’ part. Because of the limitations of this genre, Kishi couldn’t make Sasuke and Naruto’s romantic relationship explicit, nor could he give it up for the sake of shounen.

Kishimoto, what were you thinking really? I want to know, I really do. Someday, I hope you become courageous enough to admit it, but until that day, I will resent you from the bottom of my heart.

[rawbin-warriors-blog]

least favorite warriors ship(s)?

no pressure!!

Oooh that's a difficult question!! I'm very late to answering this because I remember thinking way too hard about it for a few days and then ultimately forgetting due to my indecisiveness, super sorry about that 😭

I decided I didn't want to include obvious ships (if you can even call them that) such as Spottedleaf x Thistleclaw because... well, obviously I don't like that lol, nor did I want to include reasons such as incest because I feel like that's kind of boring? Like wow, shocker that someone wouldn't like incest or pedophilia or abuse or some kind of combination. /s

I'm going to say a ship I don't like for solely reasons that are personal and interesting 😈

Again I don't truly dislike any ships that aren't somehow morally reprehensible to be honest so it was kind of hard to choose! But! Here are the ships that aren't morally bad in any kind of way that I just Kind Of Don't Like!

For canon warriors ship, I'm going with Brook x Stormtail. This one I have no good reason for, I just?? I do not like it JKASFLJKAFJSK Something about it is just a no for me. I do not enjoy and I have no good reason why

For non-canon... I don't like any variation of ships between Nightcloud, Leafpool and Feathertail. It's some sort of,, I don't think revenge shipping is the word lol, but to me it feels like it's centered around the dislike of Crowfeather? Like, they are all his ex-girlfriends, and that's the thing they obviously have in common, so it always feels like the ship is somehow trying to "get back" at Crowfeather.

I'm not saying that's an inherently a bad thing to do, like go ahead bro you're very much allowed to give a fictional character the middle finger by making his exes all leave him for each other, but it's not really my cup of tea since I 1, do like Crowfeather and 2, admittedly do have a bit of a soft spot for Crow x Leaf (I know I'm horrible) (I have not read their "romance" in years and I am not planning to, I am very keen on clinging to the story of them I have made up in my head goddamnit!!!)

I also tend not to really care too much for ships between characters that don't really interact much if at all in canon, but I do have a lot of respect for people who see two characters who have never once spoken to each other and go "fuck yeah let those kitties kiss!!" anyways like you are cool!! That's not really me personally though

Again though I don't truly hate any ships that aren't blatantly just bad and I don't really care too much about shipping discourse. Sometimes I do enjoy content of these ships too in fact, and I might even join a MAP with these ships someday, who knows? Just not really my thing :-)

[missmeinyourbones]

there’s been some age discourse circulating on anime tiktok about older folks liking minor anime characters and how they SHOULDNT simp for them and i wanted to ask (1) what did you think about that? and (2) we see how often adults write smut about fictional characters that are minors so ummm how does that work?

imo in general since a lot of underage characters are drawn to be REALLY attractive or rather older, if i like them??? i like them.... but i don’t necessarily come on the internet to openly make sexualizing comments or nothing like that so respectful simping = a okay. like i want to give xyz a hug and a poptart and they’re the cutest patootest person on the planet type vibes.

as i aged, with a lot of new animes like demon slayer and jjk, i simply do not find MYSELF attracted ??? to the minors like inosuke and megumi, who would have been my general favorite characters if i was 15 bc that is how all my favorite characters looked and acted like but stuff that ive grown up with and characters i aged (i was 15, same age as kageyama when i watched hq!!) with are still going to be like?? VERY pedestal heavy & ppl i still hyperfixate over since i am still very attached to them even if i don’t say a word online about them. i am kind of scared of being attacked for liking them :(

but EVEN WITH FICS??? like lol please let me READ them in peace i promise it’ll be between me and my phone but duuude i think actively reading fics about me x fictional character is insane /jk so let me live. i think it’s interesting though because yeah okay chara x reader is bad but people writing smut about underage characters in ships (kagehina as an example) and then ppl are okay with it.... ALSO not to mention how much doujins are made again with the minor characters and suggestive content..... but yeah food for thought

this has been sitting in my inbox for a few days bc ive been trying to think about how to properly gather my thoughts on it so if anyone wants to hear me rant about media literacy and fictional minors you can click below :)

i think people often forget that fiction is just that—fiction. its fake. yes we can pour our hearts and souls into loving certain characters or shows but at the end of the day they as "people" are lines on paper. they do not exist. i think the lines are extremely blurred when it comes to stuff like the age debate because people get weird w/ minors being written about or thought of in a certain way etc.

personally, when i think of a character (especially applied to noncanon universes) i think about them because i like the idea of them. i match them in my head to be fitting to me and my personal character (age included!!!!) so like yes i love canon megumi and his character, but when i write about megumi and "simp" for him in my head hes not 15. hes tailored to my personal demographic and interest (if that makes sense)

i think that people think too much into the whole fiction thing because its literally fake....like people get cancelled for writing FAKE SCENARIOS about FAKE PEOPLE because of their age. fiction is meant to be fake! its meant to be consumed knowing it is not real, and to explore hypotheticals and use your imagination to your own advantage

with that being said....in no way shape or form do i condone pedophilia or illegal age relationships. i think that people need to stop worrying about FICTIONAL age gaps and focus on the actual real life minors being groomed, harassed, assaulted, etc. because this is something that happens in real life to real people. worrying about fictional scenarios that will not be real no matter how hard you try is pointless when the reality of the situation is that real adults being interested in real minors is the real issue.

idk if i worded this nicely or if it makes sense but this is just my opinion on it <3 they’re literally not real and we should be focusing on protecting actual human real life minors <3

[ashdumpsterpile]

I know you talk abou st*cky in the interracial ships stuff, but can we talk about st*ny? Iron husbands is literally right there, but I also always sees Rhodey as Tonys moral support only. And ik Tony is very shippable with most characters, but the fact his ship is Rhodey is one of the lowest ships in ao3 (ironstrange, winteriron and god forbid stark*r all had more fics in ao3).. It's pretty telling this side also has racism problems...

I'll go ahead and answer this here, but letting y'all know that I do have a marvel sideblog if you want to hit me up there (@themarvelarchives).

Hey, I'm going to ramble for a good minute.

So after I posted my very incoherent, controversial take on St*cky vs SamBucky, there were a ton of ppl who came onto anon saying that St*cky shippers were racist. I think I only answered a few, but y'all were pretty insistent on it. I personally have not observed that St*cky shippers are so I'm not calling anyone out on that side of the fandom for that.

I also did not call out anyone on this side of the fandom bc that's not what my meta was about. I think I mentioned maybe once or twice in the whole post that there was underlying racist in the fandom, but since you asked, we can talk about it here.

Covert Bigotry In Fandom Spaces.

To understand what's going on in the MCU, we have to first look at what I call "woke-queer" fandom.

So "Woke-Queer" Spaces is the phenomenon where certain fandom members like to call ppl out on their bigotry, while covertly harboring their own queerphobia/racism/etc. An example of this that we're all familiar with is TERFS and how they like to claim that they are progressive and woke, while also claiming that trans women are fake and trans men are sexist.

How this translates to fandom, however, is the hypocrisy that is cancellation and callout culture.

For example, Supernatural in particular is a fandom that likes to call out the writers on their homophobia and racism, and yet, somehow, the fandom is chalk full of homophobia and racism. If you want to read more about this, here is a truly excellent article from the perspective of a queer woman of color.

Moving on, I've also talked in a previous meta post, on the internalized acephobia that exploded in 2019 after Good Omens was released. Rather than reiterate everything I said in that post, I'll just leave it at this: the controversy in the Good Omens fandom can be summed up by the fact that queer audiences are claiming that Ineffable Husbands is the wrong kind of queer. The hypocrisy oozes off the screen, doesn't it?

A final way this viably translates to fandom, is in how the Doctor Who fandom evolved over time.

So Steven Moffat takes over as head writer and showrunner in 2010. It's a new series, a new Doctor, a new Tardis, and new branding. He steps up the action, changes the color grating, and raises the stakes. Women are sexier, the Doctor is smarter (and more of an asshole, but that's another meta post), and every companion comes with their own impossible mystery that makes them Special™.

Series 5-10 got tons of woke points for having lesbian characters, an episode where the Doctor is homoerotic with James Corden, and an underlying trans narrative with the Master's reincarnation. What a lot of people forget, however, is that his series was incredibly sexiest, incredibly lesbian/biphobic, and basically turned the Doctor into everyone's fantasy sex-object.

This, unfortunately, brought out the worst of the fandom. There was RTD Era vs Moffat Era wars exploding in certain corners, TenxRose shippers vs ElevenxRiver shippers.

What does this have to do with covert racism in fandom cultures though?

Hnnngng ok, so back in RTD era's we get Martha Jones, the Actual Best Companion On The Entire Show. Except for the fact, of course, that she is written to be in love with the doctor. She's a brilliant character--smart, sassy, flawed, funny, flirtatious--and her entire plotline is reduced down to a school-girl crush on a white man.

She doesn't do well with fans, they scrap her after one season.

We move on to Donna Noble (The Other Actual Best Companion On The Entire Show) and RTD's era ends with them scraping her too and regenerating David Tennant's Doctor.

It will be five more series (not seasons, SERIES) until Doctor Who will have another black companion--who gets extra points for being gay--only to fall victim to "bury your gays" at the end of the season (but not really bc no one stays dead on Doctor Who).

The fandom's reception of Martha Jones was historically bad. The comparisons to her predecessor, Rose Tyler, were rampant and everyone was finding a reason to hate her.

The fandom's reception to Bill Potts was also historically bad, as everyone was screaming that she was being written for more "woke points" and that they wanted Clara back.

Fandom has a historically bad reputation of being problematic and, I would argue, the majority of it has to do with these toxic undertones of bigotry that slip under the radar. "Woke-queer" spaces, as I call them, are these instances above where spaces that claim to be inclusive of gender/orientation/race are covertly bigoted.

Marvel and Cancelling

Now is an excellent time to talk about the MCU.

Anthony Mackie (Sam Wilson) has recently come under a lot of criticism from fandom members for shutting down shipper speculation.

"The idea of two guys being friends and loving each other in 2021 is a problem because of the exploitation of homosexuality. [...] something as pure and beautiful as homosexuality has been exploited by people who are trying to rationalize themselves."

I can't find the rest of the quote, but Mackie goes on further to say that it was important to him to portray "a sensitive, masculine figure" without insinuating that there was romance involved.

Woke culture lost it's shit. Everyone was suddenly claiming that Mackie was calling them exploitative for shipping a gay ship as a queer audience, which could not have been further from the case.

Mackie actually makes some very excellent points in that sensitivity is not gay/queer. Woke culture loves to rag on Toxic Masculinity, but the minute someone plays a character who is loving and sensitive with no queer narrative in mind, they are immediately canceled.

What Am I On About

Okay, let's actually address what your ask was about, Nonnie. You pointed out--rather truthfully--that it is unfair to call-out racism on one side of the fandom, while ignoring it on the other side.

Well, I've gone back through my St*cky vs. SamBucky analysis (which is incoherent at best, I apologize for that) and I see maybe once instance where I called out fandom members for being racist. Here's what I had to say about racism:

"[...] Iron Husbands is a rarepair, probably because it’s an interracial ship."

"[there is] nothing wrong with shipping two white men, but it does become a problem when you ignore/bash POC/interracial ships to the determinant of your own white ship."

And then there was the post you brought up where I addressed interracial ships in the fandom. That one is probably more relevant to this topic, to be honest, as I actually addressed fandom racism there. I assume that your reason for bringing up Stony is because it's a ship that is more relevant to my side of the fandom, HOWEVER, the reason I highlighted Stucky instead was because I was comparing the fact that they've both been around the same amount of time and are relationships that feature the protagonist and their best friend.

You brought up St*ny in the ask, however, so I'm going to talk about St*ny for a minute.

As someone who never has nor will ship St*ny, it never even occurred to me that some of the problem behind the Iron Husbands tag being so small is because everyone ships the white, boring ship. You brought up a very valid point, but because I was never in that part of the fandom, I can't really speak to any possible underlying racism there, besides what I've already said above.

I would be interested in hearing a St*ony shipper or ex-St*ony shippers thought on this, but sadly I don't know any. If you have any more thoughts regarding this, Nonnie, pls drop back into my inbox.

You do make some excellent points in this ask though, and I would like to talk about racism on my side of the fandom.

So back to Mackie and his Twitter cancellation. Notice that Disney made him address the rumors and not his co-star, Sebastian Stan. Anthony Mackie is put on blast and made to answer fan demands and receives backlash, while Sebastian Stan gets to fly under the rader. This is not, by the way, a criticism of Stan, but instead of the blatant racism Disney has been displaying over the past few years.

How this ties in with the rest of my post has to do with my "woke-queer" spaces bit. The outcry across the MCU fandom over Mackie was swift and unforgiving. He was cancelled on charges of homophobia and bigotry--all the while these same fans turn a blind eye to any queer interpretation of other interracial ships and discourse in their own fandom.

The racism that I'm speaking about, of course, is an almost passive racism. Of course if you don't ship a specific ship for reasons other than their race, it's perfectly fine. It's okay not to ship Iron Husbands or SamBucky or any other interracial fandom ships. However, the distinct lack of shippers in the fandom IS telling because there are people who would ship that exact ship if not for the fact that one of men is black.

I don't have much more to say about this except to thank you for bringing it up and for listening to my long rambling post.

(Feel free to bug me about Tony Stark, MCU ships, MCU Meta and anything you want to talk me about on this blog and @themarvelarchives.)

[carinyms]

I've scrolled through a lot of discourse on episode 4 of Loki and I need to talk about it

(good lord its a whole essay im sorry)

I gave myself a headache from crying while watching this. (I joined the Loki fandom post-IW so I’ve never had to see him die before while emotionally invested and boy!!! Is it doing things to my fragile psyche!!). But now I’m rehydrated and more stable and ready to party so let’s go

Right off the bat, I loved this episode — loved it loved it loved it. Silly, manic in-shock Loki is gone and shit is getting real. My thought while watching this was truly “wow this is my favorite episode so far” and damn am I in a minority with this opinion lol.

So here’s my perspective on some of the discourse flying around, and just general thoughts

On the whole ‘Narcissist’ thing:

IMO, Mobius saying this means nothing: he’s mad and he’s spouted lies at Loki to push his buttons before (see: every interaction they’ve had since episode 1).

Loki saying this to Sif-- well, Loki is and always has been an unreliable narrator on himself. The major theme of this show is that he doesn’t really know who he is, deep down, and he’s trying to figure it out. The TVA is taking advantage of this, and even though he’s trying to stay above it all throughout the series, he's still in a really impressionable spot and absorbing what others tell him about himself. (not to mention this scene is literal torture and he’s already proven that he’ll say whatever he needs to to get out of it.)

But he does admit one true thing when he says “It’s because I’m scared of being alone.” (And like wow okay same don’t mind my tears) but here’s a big brain idea!

Sif pulls him up and says ‘You are alone, and you always will be’, which is like, WOW that’s cruel after what he said, but it makes me ask wonder: Sif is sentient in this scene, but obviously it’s not really her. Who’s controlling her? And why is it so important for them to make sure Loki thinks he’s alone? I’d go as far as to wager that Sif never even said this to Loki, the big bad made this up. (he admits he forgot about this ever happening, I doubt he’d remember what she said.)

I think the nexus event on Lamentis that caused the branch was two Loki’s joining sides. Or, Loki no longer being alone. Loki insists while talking to Mobius that “she’s not my partner!” but she was, and they were partners from the moment they grabbed hands on Lamentis — right when the timeline broke off. I think Loki variants teaming up is the biggest threat to whoever is pulling the strings here — that’s why the post-credit scene is so significant. (Is Loki the only person who has multiple variants of himself who've escaped the TVA?)

And here’s where I’m gonna get salty--so I apologize but i need to rant about this-- but it’s seriously pissing me off that so many people are intentionally reading this as Loki/Sylvie and then being mad about it when that’s clearly not what’s happening and why is everyone acting like Mobius with one angry jealous brain cell and no critical thinking about the context of the characters.

If people ship it that’s chill, but for the people who are against it—it’s clearly supposed to be platonic, and it’s so upsetting that in the year of our lord 2021 we still can’t have a man and woman hold hands without people saying it’s proof they want to f*ck each other, like what in the misogyny??? STOP. This show was written by a bi woman and Tom the-most-emotionally-sensitive-man-on-this-planet Hiddleston — let them display an intimate loving friendship goddammit. This isn’t romance, this is Loki learning how to admit he cares for someone who cares for him in return — something he hasn’t experienced a whole lot of and clearly doesn’t know how to navigate.

(You have permission to personally come at me if it actually turns out to be romantic by the end of the show—but as of right now I will die on this hill.)

Him putting his hands on her shoulders to me was a clear indication he wanted to hug her, and I’d like to think he would have told her he cares about her, and that they can figure it out together. Because these are two characters who’ve never had anyone else to rely on and trust, and for the first time they’re not alone.

And I have to think about what prompted this from Loki. He just lost Mobius the moment after he called him friend. The way I see it, he’s just realized the true gravity of what they’re up against, and Loki is suddenly very afraid of losing Sylvie too before he tells her cares about her, of dying truly alone because he never told anyone what they meant to him. (Don’t think about this in the context of him also having watched his entire family die knowing he never told Frigga or Thor how much he loved them either don’t think about it—) He’s realized, finally, that he has doesn’t have to be alone, that he can choose to be close to people and have friends. And god it’s so heartbreaking that he never got to hug her or have that moment with her. I really hope they get that in the end. I hope he gets it with Mobius. I hope they have a group hug. I'm upset again.

Okay, deep breath, ANYWAY.

Hopefully this didn’t come off as attacking anyone else’s opinions.

Personally, I love this character so much, I’m just so happy to be seeing him in his own storyline that they can’t go wrong here. Objectively I think the production is amazing, and personally I love they way Loki’s character has been explored so far. (Yea yea, was I HOPING that the bad-memory loop would morph into Sanctuary and Thanos and like a full exploration of his true worst memories? Yes but let’s be honest my whump needs will never be met in canon and I have to accept that lol.)

Honestly I left all my own meta about this character at the door when the series started, because for me the opinions I’ve formed from the hundreds of (amazing) fics and meta I’ve read on this character and what’s true in canon are basically inseparable at this point, and no portrayal is going to live up to the way Loki exists in my head. Canon Loki and fic Loki are two different characters and I can enjoy both at the same time :) I’ve just loved seeing the character get given the different dimensions he deserves, and written by people who care about his story.

Also, it’s not over! If he was dead and this was it I’d be very upset, but this is the rock bottom of the storyline, and I think the whole next two episodes will be the build back up. I trust it’s gonna be worth it. SO hyped for flaming sword Loki. I would die for Sylvie, but I’m excited to see him on his own again.

My current most pressing questions are:

-what was the fallout of Sylvie’s bombing the timeline? (Have we seen that yet, am I just dumb and missing something?)

-Obviously, who’s behind it all? (Kang? Is there a head honcho Very Evil Loki at the top?)

-How much does Ravonna actually know, and to what extent is she just a pawn too? She asked Sylvie to prune her— she’s probably also been duped here.

-Is everything we learned about the sacred timeline BS? How much of what the TVA workers believe is real?

-my favorite theory so far is that the war of the timelines miss minutes talks about hasn’t actually happened yet, maybe making setting that into motion is the true endgame, leading into Multiverse of Madness?

(Side note: holy HELL im so excited for this soundtrack to drop on Spotify. It’s SO AMAZING I had CHILLS in the end credits.)

Open invitation to discuss anything with me if you feel inclined! :)

[captainkirbypunch]

My love has left tumblr once again.

As many of you may know, the account under the name MDZADR, has left tumblr. They felt unsafe in their fandom, and as such have deleted their tumblr and AO3 account due to the bad memories linked to them.

As a part of their departure, they have asked me to post something in their name, as follows.

If you want more details about how I came to this realization, continue to read. If not, here is your summary:

TL;DR: For the safety and health of this fandom, I wanted to spread the word that Mooping-10 is filled with people who absolutely cannot be trusted, creating a very hazardous environment for the zadr community, and MelodyoftheVoid is connected to all of those people, living a double life amongst those of us that don’t “ship zadr correctly.” She has plenty of friends her inner circle knows nothing about, and nobody on either side knows who she really is. 

Full story below.

I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye. Nobody did anything to me today, but this just wasn’t worth it.

My AO3 and tumblr are both gone. I didn’t say goodbye because I didn’t want to look like an attention seeker.

Here’s the thing. I wasn’t going to name drop, but you guys need to know the truth. I’m instructing my boyfriend (hi y’all) to turn asks off for his own safety after this because this is going to be a nightmare, but... allow me to tell you the full story. I’ll try to break up the text so it’s less difficult to read, but this is important. I’m sorry to air discourse so publicly, but please... I need you to listen to me.

I’ll start from the beginning, without being vague anymore about who “she” is. I request that you please read the whole thing and not skip parts of it. The whole story matters.

I finally returned to the fandom about two months or so ago. As I’ve mentioned, I don’t do well in my thoughts while left alone too long, so I posted saying I would stop messaging people I knew because I didn’t want to bother them. There were only two people I was talking to at the time, but one of them is famous so I didn’t want to message her directly saying that. Doing so would have put her in a position of feeling obligated to say “you’re not bothering me” rather than just simply being able to sigh with relief from no longer being contacted. 

But the first person to contact me was the famous person, and she asked if I was okay, and told me she liked talking to me.

God, I actually cried.

But, that’s just her. Melodyofthevoid is the type of person to talk to people in the fandom, totally unaware of her demigod status. She comments on stories, interacts on posts, messages first... a pillar of kindness, so it seemed.

But let the story continue.

Over time, we were talking more often. 

Mostly sending memes (cause everyone I knew, myself included, aren’t exactly great at holding conversations. No shade. Memes are a love language). I was still in the hero worship stage of our relationship, so my view of her was that that was perfect.

Now, let me bridge a connection with a new story idea I got around December 28th or so, and my thinking she was perfect.

I had recently finished watching Madoka and questioned “If I had magical powers, what would they be?” It then turned into its own story idea, basing creators’ powers around the strengths and weaknesses in creations. I actually realized “oh fuck. My stuff is incoherent. My friends’ works aren’t too different...”

Thus spawned the name “Incoherent” for the project.

What does that have to do with this? Well, here’s the thing that really fucked everything up quickly. 

This was not on purpose, because originally the project (which I had told nobody of yet at the time) was all about improving your works, making platonic friends, dressing our personas in cute outfits, and writing fun magic.

While listening to music and thinking of the story one day, my brain accidentally shipped my persona with hers, and I couldn’t unsee it. And I’m lousy at keeping my own secrets (other’s are different) so she found out on probably day one or two about my weird crush because of an ask meme of all things. 

She didn’t try to put me off any, which was another problem for future things to come, and so I decided that since Incoherent was finally making me feel alive again and feeling the euphoric feelings of love wouldn’t hurt anything (I figured they’d mellow out on their own eventually because that’s how infatuation works) since they helped fuel my inspiration, and then we would just continue from friends to better friends one day and this part of our lives would be over.

Besides, the forbidden is attractive somehow, and makes stories more entertaining. She’s aro/ace, so I had no chance anyway. Someone safe to crush on, in her own way.

This isn’t a story of a love betrayal however. There was no such thing. But it’s important to the story because Incoherent is where my mistakes were made, and hers brought to light.

By this time, I had a handful of people I was talking to, and I created a discord server for the project. Only my boyfriend (hi!) and I were in it at the time. I was not-so-subtly asking my friends what they’d look like if they were a magical person, what their names would be... I thought I would have had to lure Melody in to make her want to join us, but I managed to get her in very easily. Everyone was happy and excited! It was a no obligation, no time limit thing for us to enjoy, a little sandbox to play around in. 

Sure there were plans to make it bigger and I was working on art to the best of my ability, but it was gonna be a fun thing mostly. No pressure on anyone.

And how things started becoming a problem was that the rest of us posted publicly about the project and interacted with each other’s posts relating to the story, but she had started to interact publicly less and less with our things, and everyone noticed it.

It wasn’t because we were greedy and wanted the popular girl to reblog our things. It’s because we had a feeling she was ashamed of being seen publicly with us. The reason we were worried before then and started making that connection was because I mentioned I was going to ask another user if they were interested in joining Incoherent. Melody was the only one that seemed uncomfortable, and I messaged her asking about it. We agreed I wouldn’t invite that person but I knew things were off about it.

That person is like me. How long until Melody didn’t want to talk to me anymore? A few days ago, the other shoe finally dropped. A member of our little group and I were talking and (let’s call them Friend for simplicity. They asked to not be name dropped here) Friend was worried they had made Melody upset by tagging her in a meme picture they drew of her persona, and the two had agreed that Friend remove the tag. This spawned an anxiety-filled conversation where Friend and I expressed our concerns about Melody not interacting with the project, or us.

So since I wanted reassurance that that wasn’t the case, I messaged Melody with my concerns. I told her I had the feeling she was ashamed of being seen in public with us because of her friends, and she didn’t refute me. She simply told me to go get some rest. I messaged back with “I’m right.”

I deleted Discord off my phone for hours and nearly deleted my Tumblr, AO3, and the server after my boyfriend helped pass messages between us. Melody confessed that was the case because her friends expressed discomfort with my works, and she was playing both sides.

Her words, not mine.

Melody told me she would be withdrawing from the Incoherent project because it wasn’t fair to us if her heart wasn’t in it.

She didn’t stand up on my behalf when they said things about me. Her friends are the type who talk behind creators’ backs for shipping zadr “incorrectly.” Worse than antis because they actually participate in the “pro-shipping” side of the fandom. I broke that day and messaged her at 3 am.

We finally spoke at 3pm. We both missed each other. I tried to understand more. I wanted it to be more like a conversation rather than an interrogation. It was only one-sided however, and she never opened up further. And I made some mistakes and poor choices of words, and we ended up parting ways permanently right there. 

I nearly deleted everything, but much like a coma patient attached to many machines on a hospital bed, my blog was kept alive a little longer by people sending kind words in droves. I was briefly fuelled by spite, wishing to watch the world burn by making everyone on the "correct" side of the fandom upset by posting the worst, most vile content this fandom has ever seen.

I was also welcomed with open arms by a very kind server with fellow degenerates, all of them screaming and crying and partying when they managed to get me in their server. It was so heartwarming...

But as I spoke to others about my situation, I realized something. A disturbing pattern.

People telling me horror stories about how Mooping-10 was cult-like. How the people running it were antis. I was even told once that they have a secondary server where they go to have their talks and do their work, likely the place where the real bashing is held.

The server itself has rules against such behavior, but I suppose it's different when they do it.

One person (and this is the most unnerving part for me, personally) told me Melody actually set off alarm bells in their head without having even done anything yet, and the most disturbing part of the story was that one of the moderators was afraid and upset because they got Covid, and received basically no moral support at all. Only getting told "spoiler that. Sorry you got Covid".

I was horrified. That server has 100 people in it. How many of them are the same? They act like popular kids in school who picked up an unpopular main character and then bash others, and the main character joined in because they don't want to be left behind by their new "friends".

To put it short, back to my point:

TL;DR: I simply only wanted to spread the word that: Mooping-10 is filled with people who absolutely cannot be trusted, creating a very hazardous environment for the zadr community, and Melodyofthevoid is connected to all of those people, living a double life amongst those of us that don't "ship zadr correctly". She has plenty of friends her inner circle knows nothing about, and nobody on either side knows who she really is.

[nightswithkookmin]

MONDAY, JANUARY 18TH: GOLDY'S LOG

I miss Suga. Scratch that. I miss Agust D. My spirit animal.

I've been thinking about him a lot lately, wondering if his injury isn't an exemption to military service. I wonder if he qualifies, in light of his injury, as an able body. I wonder what their law defines as able body.

I wonder if he passed the legal physical exam and health assessment test when he turned 19, since he's had that injury way before debut. Or if BTS have undergone that mandatory military service assessment since they are all past 19 and what their results are.

Jimin has chronic back pain too. That should qualify him for an exemption to military duty. He can still do desk work if it's that serious.

I should talk to ***** and look into South Korea's law on exemptions to military service.

Moon values the arts and culture industry. There's already been an extension for conscription for the benefit of BTS. Their success and longevity in the spot light perhaps influenced this decision. Should BTS maintain this momentum, an exemption would be inevitable I feel.

I miss them. They've been gone for too long. I'm worried about the impact this is going to have on their popularity if they disconnect from fans for so long or be mechanical about the way they connect with their fans.

I hate the limited access to them. But Scarcity increases the value of a product and it's not surprising if this is the approach BigHit is adopting in the wake of the pandemic.

Limited access not only raises value, it creates demand. Bang PD is a bigbrain marketing genius- I hate it.

They are taking a huge risk with this new marketing strategy. Personally, I'd stick to what works but then I am no marketing guru. Just a consumer who likes to play it safe. I guess I won't be getting hired anytime soon. Fuck.

It's all very fascinating.

What's equally fascinating is the shippers out here on these streets. The Jokers.

I... they confuse the hell out of me sometimes.

How are they going to question my rationality when I talk about moments I feel Jikook are having issues in their relationship or had broken up etc but then have no problem with and even applaud that same rationality when I talk about moments that has led me to believe there is lack of depth in Tae Kook's dynamics or that they are not real by any standard or that another ship in BTS isn't real.

Do I have two minds? Or are they more inclined to be selective in their beliefs based on their biases towards Jikook and against other ships? It's weird.

By the same lens I define Jikook as real, I define Tae Kook or any other ship that includes JK and Jimin as not real. And by that same lens if I feel Jikook aren't together then I'm wrong and irrational?

It really confounds me.

Not sure if they expect me to apply double standards to Jikook in those instances.

I don't think there is right and wrong opinions or perspective when it comes to shipping, but I think if they are right about me being wrong about my perspective on Jikook then I must be wrong about my perspective on any other ship in BTS as well.

I can't be right about one and wrong about another. I'm either right about all or wrong about all.

I can't be 'right' about Tae Kook having 'issues' in their bond in such a way I think it often bars them from fully nurturing their bond and developing depth to it but then be 'wrong' about Jikook also having issues that mess with their bond from time to time when it's the same measurement I use in accessing the depth of bond of both ships.

I really don't understand their way of thinking.

What is right and what is wrong and who decides on that?

I think we ought to substitute right and wrong with 'believe and believable.' The approach to such discourse should be about what one is willing to believe or not believe about certain discussions: I believe this. I don't believe that. Because believes stem from our personal biases towards a subject.

And the people that come running to me with 'look, Jikook smiled at each other in On era so change your mind'

I would except I hear this debate all the time. I wonder if they realize they sound exactly like the Tuktukkers in my DMs trying to convince me Tae Kook is real.

'Look Tae sat on JK's laps! How can you say there is no depth to Tae kook' ' He squished JK's cheeks' 'Jk said he wants to ride with Tae, if there was no depth why did he say he wanted to ride with him'

I have a feeling Soft Koo is back. The days of Terminator JK might be over. Too bad, I liked terminator JK. He was a bad ass.

I like that he is experimenting with his looks. But I'm glad his Ravi-esque phase is over. I wonder who he is drawing inspiration from this time. He reminds me of Jimin though. There is something peaceful and serene about his looks.

Can't really tell much because Bighit is sitting on tons of footages. I think I need to send a truck to Bang PD HQ.

I don't like that Jimin posted a Vhopemin photo for Tae's birthday. It was cute and all but I don't like it. That shit felt passive aggressive as fuxk. Lmho. What, he didn't have a V or Vmin photo in his gallery? Sounds like someone didn't put much effort in their VMin agenda for this post.

I wonder if he will keep the same energy come JK's birthday. I mean both him and Tae didn't post for him💀

May be I'm reaching on this one. But a single post where V was not even the focus of the post... I think his birthday means a lot to him and he enjoys when people shower him with love and attention and I don't think his birthday is an exception.

And he kept reiterating after such said birthday how he recently discovered he loves to be loved and how he does most of the things he does in order to be loved by his fans, friends and family.

And it breaks my heart that, the headlines read BTS shower X, Y with love on his birthday but the two people close to him were missing from that list this time. The media talks about BTS posting for eachother as them showering eachother with love. Certainly they all know this.

And the fact Jin posted for Tae after Tae's birthday says a lot about Tae and JK. Tae had no intention of posting perhaps because he left JM a message on the packages. With Jin I feel he was overcompensating for not posting for him on his birthday...

JK gets a pass. If JM wasn't happy about him not posting for his birthday, he would have pulled a Jin.

Jimin talking about coming to the realization he loves to be loved makes me think JK withholding his affections openly made him come to the realization he loves to be loved. Just a hunch. And the only reason JK would withhold his affections is if Jimin himself estopps him. Those two give me headaches.

I think I got the closure I needed from this.

LESSON: dont get on JM's bad side and bloody post for his birthday 💀

Tae been releasing photos of Jimin and Jhope a lot lately. Not sure how that makes me feel either. I think it's beautiful. But when I think about all these beautiful photos he has of Jimin on his phone and how generous he is with them- I think they would have been more meaningful had he released it on JM's birthday. The snow photo he posted still sits in my Vmin heart somewhere.

I really don't like this not posting for each other's birthday business. It's 2021. They need to cut it out.

I feel JK set a bad precedent but personal happiness first so good for him.

This moment haunts me for some reason.

What was going through V's head. I want to know. RM looks done. Lol.

Jimin is really beautiful. I love his eyes when he smiles and the thing he does with his shoulders.

Some people complain I write a lot. Some say I don't write enough. Ayayayai!!!!!!

What to do.

I think I accidentally deleted a post.

I'm looking forward to JKK1. Stay Gold, Still with you, Your eyes tell... I hope he hasn't given his best away cos those were bops.

PJM1... oh God I'm nervous. I'm excited for it but nervous. I think Serendipity is a classic. The Christmas song was equally great and frankly the only good Christmas Ive heard so far and I don't even like Christmas- nothing against Baby Jesus I just think it sucks. That bridge in Dis-ease is something.

I want to read his thoughts. His spotify playlist is insightful but I want to confirm if he really sees himself as a mess who is always causing his lover grief.

I mean he did say he has realized he needs to be considerate towards those that love him. Not sure yet the connection there.

I want to read his thoughts.

PJM1....

I love JHOPE. I think his ship with Jimin is beautiful and healing. They make my insides warm. Not sure if their shippers think they are real. Do they? That would be awkward.

I think RM and Jimin need to spend time together... it would be good for them.

Jimin and Sungwoon shippers are alleging Jimin has been staying with Sungwoon all this while. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

But the bit about him living with Sungwoon before the start of Bon V 4 has me🤔

Around that period, I don't believe JM was at the dorms and Jikook were not together then too. He must have been staying somewhere...

I'll let them have that.

But around November 2019 when he was having issues with JK he was staying with Tae too so no I don't think that means Sungwoon is queer or that Jimin is sleeping with him💀

They need to get out of their imaginations.

I think Jikook will drive me crazy one day.

I can feel my cranium swelling.

JiRose shippers need to pack it up. They really think Jimin is straight? 💀

It's the bad editing for me.

That doesn't look like a straight face to me. Unless his butt was on fire and he was uncomfortable looking at that black interviewer, I think that's his flirting face.

Lately I've been thinking about what ifs.

What if Jikook is not real?

I wish I believed that.

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Circe Invidiosa

Circe Invidiosa has 11 stories at Gossamer, but there are even more X-Files stories at her website. Some of my favs I’ve recced here before, like Make It Worse and Slap a Goatee On Me and Call Me Evil. She also made a bunch of X-Files collage art, including some cover art for fics (hers and others), which you probably saw if you were reading fic back when authors posted fics on their own websites where art could be shared. Big thanks to Circe Invidiosa for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Well, it would surprise me if people did read my fic. As it happens, I don't hear much feedback from my fic these days. Probably because the bulk of it is on Gossamer and my own site rather than AO3. Also, I was never a BNA. I worked a lot behind the scenes – hosting other authors' sites and making fanart and dustjackets. I think that's what I'd be remembered for, if anything.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience?

I miss the collective excitement and discussions we had as groups. When you got in with a group in the XF fandom, you felt like you knew everybody there. Now the fandom feels a little faceless except for the people I still follow from my old groups.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Most of my experience was on Yahoo Groups. I joined Scullyfic while it was still there and then E-muse when it became an e-mail list, which I'm still a part of. I was part of several Yahoo Groups (can't remember all of them now), where I'd post my fic, RealPlayer slideshows (remember those?!), and collages. I never really took part in discourse because I'm shy and don't think anyone cares about my opinions (still don't!). The e-mail address I used for those groups was purged a couple of years ago, so I've lost all those messages.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

My take away is that fanfic made me a better writer, thanks to having some great betas, and it made me a better professional writer for it (my real-life work is writing but not fun writing) because I learned to take criticism.

I also used to make a lot of fanart, collages and dustjackets for fic mostly. My big take away from that was that I really got into graphics and I got super proficient at Photoshop, which helped my own artistic endeavours and photography. I didn't realize how much skill I had developed until I've had to help someone with their graphics or photo editing.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

My mother was watching X-Files before I was and she was raving about it. I don't have a great relationship with my mom, but one thing she was usually right about was TV shows. It's where I got my love of Sci-Fi.

I think the first episode I watched was Ice, which definitely hooked me. As for when the shipping started, I remember we were watching Lazarus, and when Mulder was yelling at Lula (I had to look that up) about hurting the hostage Scully, my mom said, "Oh, he's so in love with her." And I was all, "What?! Pfff." But then I could not stop thinking about it. And then I thought about it way, way too much.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I was in my late 20s, and it was around the end of S7 and I kept thinking about what if these two dumb idiots actually talked one day. And I kept thinking about dialogue in my head about what they'd actually say. The internet was still in its infancy back then, but I'd seen fan sites here and there. So I decided to search around to see if other people were talking about it and thinking about it like I was. I was such a noob I'd never even heard of fanfic. Imagine my delight when I discovered it. I found a few stories and thought, 'Well, I can do that.' And I wrote up my first story, found a place to post it (wasn't Ephemeral the best?), got some kind feedback, found a really nice person (not sure she wants to be named since she used her real name in the fandom back in the day) who encouraged me a lot and directed me to all the e-mail lists and Yahoo Groups that I needed to be on, and then, Bob's your uncle, I wrote more and more.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Periphery. Most of my experience in any fandom is now on Tumblr because that's where my attention span is. Show me pretty pictures and funny stuff. I am old now and don't want to think hard.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Veronica Mars was my next fandom experience. A number of my XF friends got me hooked on VM. The VM fandom was a LOT younger compared to the XF fandom. When I joined the XF fandom, I was the kid compared to most of the other fans who were all goddesses and royalty in my eyes. But in the VM fandom, I was in my 30s and the rest of the fandom were all in their early 20s if not younger. It often showed, so I stayed out of discussions and just posted my fic once I started writing it. I took a new handle (invida) when I started writing VM fic. Just in case these kids felt like my writing sucked, I didn't want it getting back to the XF fandom that I’d branched out and failed spectacularly.

By then fandom experiences had moved over to LiveJournal. I never really got involved in the discourse or the fandom fights. I knew what people were saying and where the schisms were, but I was all about the fanfic and the pretty pictures. Most of my LJ friends just discussed the episodes and posted their fic and that was good with me.

What got me writing fic for VM was Anjou's brilliant VM fic Into the Blue. Seriously, if you love VM S1, read her fic. Just so beautiful.

VM was also where started writing a WIP, which was a wild trip. I wrote a much-loved WIP called Damn, Damn the Circumstance which people still ask me about finishing to this day. Someday…*wistful sighs*

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Scully. She was everything! Lapsed Catholic, degrees in science, skeptic, always trying to work within the rules but still not taking crap. Yeah, she was the best.

Veronica Mars was great until she wasn't. I have a lot of issues with her beyond S2. And don't even talk to me about S4. For me, S1 was the best, I enjoyed the movie, the books were okay, but nothing else happened after that. NOTHING.

And the first character I ever loved was Princess Leia. She was also everything to me growing up. I wanted to be her. I still do.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

Now and then. Not as much as I used to. I sometimes have it on in the background when I'm doing other things. Back before the pandemic, my BFF and I would have get togethers where we would play Scrabble, eat a lot of candy, and binge several XF episodes. I miss doing that. Hopefully, we will get back to that soon.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I am not an active XF fanfic reader right now. I will read any stories my friends put out. Otherwise, I only occasionally read some I come across on Tumblr in my feed, but I am not seeking them out. I will beta for any XF author who asks me as well.

I am reading fic in other fandoms though – Endeavour, Broadchurch, Sherlock…huh, I'm just realizing that's a lot of British stuff. I have been really into British detective series for the last few years.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I used to run an XF fic recommendation site called How Will It End usually with at least one other person (I went through at least 4 partners on that project because I'm a control freak). We'd compile our recs and then I'd post them on my site. We'd also feature authors we really liked and interview them. Not unlike these interviews!

I'm terrible at giving feedback/comments. So I solved that problem by making a rec site. That way I could tell authors I loved their fics by recommending them. I didn't have to comment, I'd just say, 'I'd like to rec your fic'. And then they'd get promotion. Win-win. Back in those days, the fandom would absolutely roast you for promoting your own fic, so to get on a rec site was a big deal. Not that I had a popular rec site or anything. But I think authors really enjoyed being asked.

All that to say I've liked a lot of fics. I can pull up the archives of HWIE and show you all the faves I liked. :)

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Back in the day, E-muse would hold Improv Challenges, where other members would give you a prompt that you had to include in your fic. I was always really proud of the stories I created from those challenges (No Earthly Means and Elephant in the Room if you want to read them).

I enjoyed writing Dead to Rights which is an XF/Dead Like Me crossover because I loved the challenge of writing a crossover. It was the first crossover I ever tried writing even though I only recently published it.

Otherwise, I like re-reading In a Graveyard, Importuning Life for Life, and Some By Virtue Fall. Of my more recent fic, I like Slap a Goatee on Me and Call Me Evil because the premise was ridiculous and I think it's funny as all get out.

Probably my favourite of my VM fic was Stay Outta Riverdale. Because: 1. The title is a Simpsons reference who doesn't love a Simpsons reference? And 2. I think I was hilarious throughout it.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I'm always open to writing more fic (and, of course, I don't mean my WIPs…don't look at me like that). Lately, my only motivation has been from writing prompts on Tumblr. I haven't had anyone give me a prompt in over a year, so here we are. I have snippets of dialogue in journals and word documents that have never found their way into stories. I'd be happy to dust off any of those and shoehorn them into a new story.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

The last fanfic I wrote was a mini-fic over a year ago (with a prompt from Lilydale!). I've written a bit of original fiction but I haven't been able to finish it. Otherwise, I do have a number of real life hobbies which are where my creative outlets lie now.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Lately, challenges and prompts. It used to be from wanting to see more from a scene. I really had a thing for fill-in-the-blanks or scene continuations. And sometimes my motivation is just plain old spite. :)

What's the story behind your pen name?

Circe Invidiosa is the title of a painting by John William Waterhouse. Love the colours and the absolute malice on the face of the subject. It felt like a good pen name – the envious witch. That's me!

I chose it when I posted my first XF fic (which I cringe to read now, ugh so terrible) without knowing there was already a Circe in the fandom. Whoops. I tried to go by the full Circe Invidiosa or Invidiosa as much as possible after realizing that (invidiosa is my url and my username on a lot of sites, etc.). Now I think that I've been around long enough that it doesn't matter as much but I still like it.

As I said, I took the name Invida for the VM fandom which is just a shortening of Invidiosa.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

My significant other knows and that was quite a reveal (oh how awkward). However, the SO has been very supportive and has read all my stories since the reveal and sometimes betas them. The SO also wants us to collaborate on writing some original fiction but we haven't found a project that works for both of us creatively or timewise.

My BFF knows because I dragged her into the online fandom. We've known each other since we were 14, but our love of XF really solidified our bond in our 20s. She wrote some short but sweet fics under the penname Helen Quilley which I bullied her into posting, and we wrote Of Ladies Most Deject and Wretched together. She is mostly embarrassed that she wrote fanfic now but we still fangirl together.

No one else really knows other than fandom folks I've met in real life. And some friends know I've written 'short stories' but I don't elaborate. I work in a stodgy, uptight industry where anything fun or actually having a life is frowned upon.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Over the first lockdown, I got my shit together and got my fic site, invidiosa.com, up and running again. My site houses fic by Rain (now @doctorhelena on Tumblr and AO3), Helen Quilley, ML (who I miss so much), Folieadeux, Shelba, TLynn, Oracle, Piper Sargasso, Diehard, and me. And I made all their dustjackets (except Folie's). The site got hacked a few years back and it was so much work to get running again that I put it off for years and years. I still feel terrible that I did not get the site back up before ML passed away, especially when ML had asked me about it a few months before she passed.

Anyway, all my XF fic is here: circe.invidiosa.com. I have 3 of my newer XF stories on AO3. And my fic-LJ also has some of my stories. Some of the newer stories are on Tumblr but the tagging is so erratic that I'd have to list several tags before you'd find them all. I don't know why I haven't moved everything over to AO3. Probably laziness.

I'm @invidiosa on Tumblr. I'm still on E-muse. I'm still on LJ. I'm always reachable by e-mail (invidiosa at gmail).

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Thanks for reading, writing, and commenting. It is always appreciated.

(Posted by Lilydale on January 5, 2021)

[dancer-me]

Fic Writer Questions

@hopeintheashes tagged me (that was pleasantly surprising, so YAY) as well as anyone who wants to play (so if you want do - just do it!!!) 1) How many works do you have on AO3?

I have nine!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

106,461! I broke 100,000 on AO3 and didn't notice =O

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

For posted fanfiction, I have written for 5 fandoms at this point. Naruto (this was my early days, around 2007 to 2015, with pretty huge gaps inbetwen), Merlin (oops), High Seas (just the one small fic because Netflix had me angsting hard enough to break my hiatus), and of course 9-1-1 and 9-1-1 Lone Star!

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Express to Nowhere (911 / 911 Lone Star) 2. Giving up Ground (911 / 911 Lone Star) 3. Quarter Life Crisis (911) 4. Pull me Under (911) 5. Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You (911)

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I hesitate to say this about a WIP but I'm pretty sure it's going to be Giving up Ground when it's done. Not that it's going to have a sad ending, but that it's part of a continuous series and I already have the next part planned out and partially started (titled "Overdrawn" for anyone interested) so it will leave things feeling hopeful but open-ended, which can be construed as angsty. But really, all my other stories, while they have angst for the most part, have happy endings because I'm a sucker for it. Chaotic Energy is slow burning itself to the happiest of endings.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Hmm... I think it's Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You! This story was just such a fun blast of drama, hijinks, and hilarity, with our two leads getting their love story at the end of it all :) All my completed works have very happy endings, but this one resonates because there really wasn't any angst at all in the whole thing. Just good fun!

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

The only cross-over I have ever written or been compelled to write in my life has been with 9-1-1 and 9-1-1: Lone Star, and that's my Chaotic Energy series. I don't know if it's "crazy", though it's turning out to be crazy long, since my original plan for it was 5 separate one-shots and Captain, that ship has long since sailed. We're deep at sea now, SOS. I love what it's become, though, and I hope everyone who reads it is enjoying the journey :)

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Weeeeeeeeell. Here's the thing. I wrote m/f smut back in the day, on ff.net and carried my one shots over to AO3 when I made the move. I'm talking way back in the day - those two "E" stories are dated 2015 but I actually originally posted them in 2011 - TEN years ago!! I haven't written smut since (I'm not counting TK and Carlos getting frisky in chapter 2 of Giving up Ground). It's not that I wouldn't, but that I haven't been inspired and with time somehow I have also become ragingly self-conscious over whether I could still do a good job. My smut has always been emotion based though, as I've never been able to truly go PWP. That said, I'm actively open to and considering some m/m smut for my current fandom. Fingers crossed I don't embarrass myself.

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do on all my recent work on AO3 (basically my 9-1-1 and lone star fics that I've written since coming out of hiatus).

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not on any of my AO3 work, though I have received hate on my much older work on ff.net to varying degrees of reasonability. So far the AO3 community has been very kind to me! I’ll get some comments where I think readers had hoped I’d go in a different direction, but nothing has ever been too much.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! Imitation is the greatest form of flattery but also no, stop, don’t do that.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, actually! I wrote my first ever published fic for Naruto called “Stand Alone” back between 2007 and 2011 (took a couple years off in the middle there to, you know, finish high school…) that someone asked me if they could translate into Russian. At the time I thought that was super cool, and it still is, but now I look back at that story and I think oof, now we can cringe at it in multiple languages. (more on that later)

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I’m not opposed to it! I’ve seen some excellent fic partnerships and it’s so great seeing writers leverage the creativity and talents of their friends and peers.

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Y’know, before 9-1-1, it was Merlin x Arthur, but Buck x Eddie have 110% of my heart and attention now.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

On the topic of Merlin… I started writing “The Quest for the Knife” back in 2015 at the peak of my Merlin fixation after painstakingly planning it out. I have pages upon pages of outlines and notes for a 14 chapter adventure… somewhere. I found a piece of it like an archeological dig when I was moving this pandemic season, but the rest seems lost to time. I’m sad because I had gotten so excited about it and loved my first two chapters, but I don’t think I’ll ever finish it. I might take it down so I can stop wallowing in guilt.

16) What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I write good action / adventure scenes and plot lines, because I love painting vivid pictures of what I see playing out in my head whenever I think through my stories. I like to incorporate subtle (and not so subtle) humour as well in my work, which is born from my very active internal narrator voice as I go through my day-to-day and try to find the humour in everything. I also like to make outlines before all my bigger stories too, which ‘usually’ means I avoid cringey plot holes and can make some fun connections.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

*looks at the camera very seriously* writing convincing smut. Well, that, and the kind of emotional, flirty love and fluff that I love devouring in fics. I don’t think I do nearly as good a job there. Get in a character’s head and angst them up? Sure. Wax poetic in a convincing and not jarring way about how much Character A is in love with Character B without making it seem like it was a bit too much of a leap? Debatable.

Also… I tend to require my readers to suspend a lot of disbelief to enjoy my fics with elements of adventure, because I tend to do exactly 5 minutes of Google research for something before I decide I’ve had enough and go ahead.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Here we revisit the cringe of “Stand Alone,” where I tried in the first half (the 2007 portion) to incorporate Japanese since I watched the anime in Japanese and felt this was the best way to try and have the character’s voices come off the page. It… is really just a big ol’ cringe, because I didn’t know the language, and I definitely didn’t use suffixes right at ALL. So… I tend to avoid it personally because I don’t want to cringe at how wrong my use of other languages is.

But if it fits you, your story, fits your character, and you know the language confidently enough to not embarrass yourself? You do you *carefully side steps around discourse and leaves the room*

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Naruto!

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I think it has to be “Express to Nowhere” these days. It was wanting to write that fic that pulled me out of hiatus and helped me find joy in writing and sharing my work again, and I have nothing but love for it and how it turned out.

Holy Cow I was warned that this level of introspection was going to take a minute but whew this was a good chunk of time. Fun to do and think about though!

Tagging: @221bsunsettowers, @onelonelytortillachip, @blueeyedbuckley and anyone who sees this and thinks, "hey, I have an answer for these questions." Because I am madly curious and would love to see your take!