#am I doing yet another rewatch? it appears so

[i-will-not-be-caged]

Is there a more perfect segment of television than the opening 10-15 min of the Leverage pilot?

[skyeslittlecorner]

Thank you! Very relatable request, honestly. Where can I buy such a demon to protect me too-

This reminded me of my era of rewatching analogue-horror web-series, you have no idea how terrified I was when I was watching Vita Carnis and suddenly my roommate burst into the room at 2 AM. Nomorehorrors.

Satan isn't surprised that you're having panic attacks. Gehenna is the most wonderful place in Hell, but the angels do not want to leave them alone. The attacks occur so frequently and so randomly that it's no wonder you feel uneasy. He would pull you back into bed and hold you against his chest, stroking you protectively. “You're in no danger with me.” His low voice is confident and strong, as are his arms. Even if the world were to burn, you are the first to be protected, so you don't have to be afraid. Besides, this guy sleeps with his eyes open. He's probably the one you should be most afraid of. They glow like headlights, so you don't have to be afraid of something moving in the dark, because there is no darkness here.

Mammon will hug you to his huge tits. How can you feel insecure when you have such a steady rock with you? Stable as a wall, warm as a heater, and protects your back (and bottom) as solidly as anyone else in the world. But if you're afraid, he'll put a huge canopy over your bed. Not even a mosquito can get through the curtains of gold. Another thing is that it's a bit hard to sleep in the golden glow, but hey, it's the will that count, right? And you can count on your every doubt being answered in the most spectacular way.

Beelzebub is the reason your paranoia hasn't gone away yet. You're lying nicely in bed, and suddenly something crawls under the sheets and cuddles up to you. Absolutely terrifying. You would jump out of bed, but the strong hug prevents you from doing so, and also you quickly recognize the disgruntled growl. The wandering king has finally appeared. You punch him for it. Two puppy dog eyes will look at you, and how can you be mad at him? “Sorry… I missed you.” He murmurs apologetically into your chest. You will sigh and bury yourself in the sheets and cuddle up to this idiot, wrapped tightly in the duvet so that no more surprises will come.

Leviathan, when he feels you're anxious, will simply close the coffin lid. Of course, you sleep closer to the closed edge, so that you can see the gap behind him. If you see anything moving beyond it, those are tentacles. They may look scary, but they are there to protect you. Why are you afraid of nightmares when their ruler hugs you to his chest like his treasure? Your nightmares should be afraid of him. He has the power to bend them to his will. Nothing can hurt you… but him. Better is the known danger than the one that lurks in the dark, so you'll only hug your beautiful king of nightmares tighter.

Valefor is as reliable as Mammon, but he would take care of you in a slightly less spectacular (or shiny) way. He will spread his shield over the bed. You saw that nothing could squeeze through it; bah! if it tries, it will be annihilated. If you think this is too much, he will simply offer to turn on the light, check the wardrobe and under the bed, and give you his chest to lie on until you fall asleep. He will watch over you, patiently and lovingly stroking your hair and arm, until he feels that you are already breathing calmly and sleeping deeply. Only then would he gently wrap you in the blanket and fall asleep himself.

Stolas offers to kill it. You don't actually know how to kill a paranoia, but you know he would be capable of it. You decline this offer in case what you thought you saw was Amon. All you can do is hug him when he explains you that monsters do not exist, if they do exist, they can be killed, so there is no point in being afraid, especially when you are with him, because he will fight everything for you, blah blah blah… You will fall asleep, soothed by listening to his chatter like radio static.

[pinkeoni]

The Great Jonathan Byers Conspiracy

(Or, Jonathan was framed and I'm going to prove it)

So I started a rewatch of the show and I'm on episode two of s1. I get to the part towards the end where Jonathan is taking photos of Nancy. So I think "Okay. This is the part where we see Jonathan take a photo of Nancy topless, right? We see him notice Nancy take her top off and then raise the camera to take another photo, right?"

But that's not what happened

The scene happens as follows. We see Jonathan snap a photo of Nancy— with her shirt on— before the scene cuts inside of Steve's room.

Nancy then removes her top. Nancy and Steve start making out and we cut back to Jonathan who lowers his camera.

This is the part where I expected Jonathan to lift his camera up and start taking more pictures. That's how I remember it happening. But no, we instead see Jonathan focus his attention back to the pool and snap a picture of Barb instead.

So what the hell? Am I being gaslit?

I remember so distinctly a moment where we see Jonathan consciously raise the camera to take another picture of her topless, and yet it's not there. I do still want to clarify however, that the topless photo of Nancy does still exist. We see it clearly in the following episode. So yes, Jonathan did still take a photo of Nancy topless, we just don't see him take it.

But according to a lot of people online, we did see it, the Duffer Brothers just removed it.

I remember hearing about this when it first cropped up, which was partially prompted by the Duffers joking to "George Lucas" Will's birthday in season 2, which they never ended up doing anyway. They also stated on Twitter that no scene had ever been digitally edited, and didn't plan to in the future.

So the Duffers must be lying, right? Otherwise why how would so many people remember seeing that scene? I guess there’s no way to be sure without a DVD or Blu-Ray of the show.

But wait, I have a DVD of season one. I got it for Christmas! But I’m staying at my parents house and I don’t feel like driving three hours just to prove a point. I guess all is lost for the moment.

Unless…

It was at this part of my spiraling that I sent a crazed two minute voice memo at 11:00 at night to my roommate and good friend @lemonsoured filling him in on my conspiracy, and then leaving instructions to go downstairs, locate my season one DVD on the living room shelf, put the DVD into my PS4, go to the end of episode two and take a phone recording of the scene in question.

And lo and behold, the scene of Jonathan taking pictures of Nancy, exactly as it appears on Netflix.

So I am aware that in the video there isn’t much to indicate that this is in fact a recording of the DVD and not a recording of the Netflix version, so you’ll just have to take my word for it. But still, ask any DVD or Blu-Ray owner for what is on their disk, and I can garuntee that they’ll all give the same answer.

Because the shot of Jonathan taking the photo of Nancy never existed. The Duffers aren’t lying. The masses collectively lied to themeselves.

But how did this happen? How did a massive audience full of people, including myself, come to believe that there was a moment of Jonathan consciously taking that photo?

I’ll tell you why. It was a psyop to defame character!

Usually when a new season of Stranger Things rolls around, there comes the flow of comments on twitter saying “Hey, remember when Jonathan took a photo of Nancy changing and now she’s in a relationship with him?” which is usually done in the name of trying to bring down Jonathan and build up Steve.

And I’m not doing this to try to claim that Jonathan is a completely innocent baby who actually did nothing wrong. After all, the topless photo does still exist and as @notmybabies pointed out in the replies of one of posts, Jonathan chose to go through the process of developing it anyway. So he’s not completely off the hook. If the Duffers did want to eradicate Jonathan’s faults, then they would have digitally edited the topless Nancy photo to a different one, something that would have been possible.

But you ever notice how it’s always “Jonathan is a creep” and never “Steve called Nancy a slut and Jonathan a queer?”

I adore Steve, but what I’m trying to see is people seem to try and diminish the depth and complications of both of these characters, and it usually results in fans making Jonathan out to be a sex depraved pervert who has always had it out for Nancy, while Steve is their angel who could do no wrong. Steve couldn’t have had a good redemption arc if there wasn’t a place for him to grow from!

They never want to acknowledge that Jonathan was a lonely kid who made a bad mistake which he apologized for while looking for his brother and that Steve was a different person before he decided to change. Eliminating these character’s depths is eliminating what makes them interesting characters! Neither are completely pure and neither are completely evil!!

So in conclusion:

[andreal831]

Lily Salvatore and Misogyny

I did an analysis on Esther a while back and was asked to do the same for Lily by @unabashedmoonlight. Sorry I am just getting around to it. I wanted to rewatch before discussing it in any kind of depth.

The misogyny Esther faces from the fandom is not limited to her, Lily and her heretics are constantly framed in misogynistic ways. She is yet another woman who has suffered immense levels of abuse, but is granted none of the understanding or forgiveness of her male counterparts.

When we first meet Lily, the show does a great job as painting her as the perfect villain. She appears to have almost no redeeming qualities. She is a ripper, she abandoned her own children to an abusive man, she started a new family and never looked back, etc. And this is what the fandom focuses on. They ignore the entire backstory that unfolds in Season 7 and her development. Yet, when the men in the show are critiqued for being monsters, the fandom jumps to explain it away by trauma and half-assed redemption arcs.

Lily is a perfect example of the cycle of abuse, escaping from one (Giuseppe) to find herself with another (Julien).

Lily and Giuseppe

Lily's abuse was even more explicitly stated than Esther's. There's no denying she was verbally, physically, emotionally, and financially abused throughout her marriage. To the point that she was willing to fake her own death and flee.

They even explicitly show that Lily was dependent on Giuseppe. She had to steal money from him to try and run with her own children because she didn't have any means for herself. She wasn't able to work and didn't have access to money.

During the time period they lived, Lily had nearly no resources to escape. She would have been the legal property of her husband. If she had run with her sons, Giuseppe would have had legal rights to throw her in jail. Yet she was willing to risk it to save her children. When Giuseppe found out he made certain that this was not going to be an option.

Lily also had less ability to protect her sons than Esther did since she wasn't a witch. She was not able to stop the abuse no matter how much people wanted her to. She could have stayed with her sons, but it wouldn't have stopped their abuse. She can be criticized as a mother for that, but at the same time, she was worried about her own survival as well. Giuseppe shot his own sons, it's not farfetched to believe she felt afraid for her life from such a man.

Lily and Julien

Shortly after she flees, Lily meets Julien. This is such a pivotal time for survivors. She had not had a chance to recover from the abuse in any means. It is very common for people who have suffered abuse to find themselves in second, third, fourth, etc. abusive relationships. It is a cycle. Abuse makes people feel weak and vulnerable as well as lowers their self-esteem. This can cause the survivors to seek out people who reinforce their low self-image and treat them how they feel they deserve to be treated.

In Lily's case, the only relationship she knew was Giuseppe. So when she meets Julien, and he is not physically abusing her, she truly believes he is better. She misses all of the other signs of abuse. She doesn't realize the manipulation. Julien is the reason Lily doesn't go back for her sons. She sends Oscar and Valerie to check on them and Julien convinces them to tell Lily they moved on from her death. Julien needed to stay in control of every aspect of Lily's life and he manipulated his way into getting that control without Lily even realizing it.

This is obvious by the way she vehemently tells her sons that Julien is nothing like Giuseppe. But as soon as they point out the similarities, she notices it right away and switches sides. This takes an incredible amount of strength to do. Once she realizes that Julien is no longer the man she thought he was, she turns on him. This is something the fandom tends to leave out when talking about Lily.

Her last moments are for her sons and her heretic children.

"I never had the courage to tell you before... I can choose them both."

After her death, Julien says that Lily is the only thing that kept her sane. This language is textbook narcissistic abuser. Making a person feel like every time you mess up it is their fault. They are the only thing that can keep you in line so if they ever leave, it will be their fault for everything you do.

Lily experienced abuse nearly her entire existence, but was finally able to fight back at the very end.

Lily, Stefan, and Damon

Most of the hate Lily gets is because of Damon. Damon's entire redemption plot is essentially tied to his treatment as a child/human life. TVDU likes to redeem characters by not making them seek redemption, but by making the fandom just feel bad for them and making excuses for their behaviors.

Damon and Klaus essentially get the same exact backstory because it is effective and takes minimal effort. Watching a child suffer abuse is an immediate way to garner sympathy because children are innocent. No one deserves to be abused, least of all children.

So painting Lily as a absolute villain allows more sympathy for Damon. But again, if Damon can get sympathy, it's only fair to give Lily sympathy as well. They both suffered abuse at different times. I'd even argue that Lily had better development.

Damon's last words to Lily show just how little Damon was able to grow as a character. He, like Klaus, hung onto his childhood trauma almost as a safety blanket. If he never faced his abuse, he could continue to use it to be angry. He never had to take accountability for anything. This is furthered by Damon at her funeral, acting like a child when his brother clearly needed to grieve. But that's another discussion.

Damon's development was tied to the women in his life, whereas Lily's was tied to her overcoming her abuse.

Lily and her Heretics

I also don't necessarily blame Lily for finding her family. TVDU is full of found families, even from characters that have living families. Yes, it hurt her sons to see her being more of a mother to other people, but should she have been alone the rest of her life?

Lily loved her heretics and even chose them over Julien. She wanted the best for them and even was willing to compromise with them to make them happy. This to me shows that she was a good person, but circumstances pushed her to do terrible things. Much like every man in the show.

The Misogyny of it all

Every character in the show has done bad things for various reasons. But the men get excuses and forgiveness, while the women get blame. I hate how often the show abuses women just so a man can have some kind of character development without doing anything.

Lily is a complex character. She is not all good or all bad. No one is. She wasn't evil for how she behaved, rather she was someone suffering abuse and responding to it.

I'm not saying Lily is perfect or that she deserved forgiveness from her sons. She still did so much that can be criticized. But we also can't ignore the abuse she suffered. She was a complex character who yes made terrible decisions, but ultimately was she worse than some of the fandom favorites? She did everything to fight for her and her family's survival like Elijah. She abandoned her children because of her own trauma just like Klaus did. She was a ripper like Stefan. Why are the women, who are victims of abuse, treated like the abusers rather than their fellow survivors?

[usernamesuggestionsarefunny]

Possibly unpopular opinion (Or perhaps not idk): I love what they have done with Zuko and Ozai's relationship in the live action Netflix Avatar show.

In the cartoon we never get the ~vibes~ that Zuko has a complicated relationship with his father, only that it is abusive and one-sided in the sense only Zuko craves Ozai's approval, while Ozai straight up hates him, wants him dead or has no problem with him dying (Why doesn't he kill him if he has Azula? We don't know, plot has to happen, he sent Zuko to find the avatar in order to get rid of him, probably, or actually canon idk or remember), clearly prefers Azula to him as successor, etc, etc, etc (+ later the comics literally overkilled this trend "she was born lucky while..." omg stfu). Zuko is basically the perfect character to prove the fire nation is not all evil (Oh look, they hate him too, he is inherently their victim too from the very beginning).

So when Zuko switches sides in the cartoon, what I see as an adult rewatching is someone giving up on luxory, physical safety and... that is pretty much it. Sure it is a big deal to give up on those things to do what is right (Few would) and still awesome that he did the right thing in the end, but if you really think about it, he is not giving up that much, he is not giving up anything truly valuable to him. Respect? Honor? Sure he is said to have received it back after Azula "killed" Aang, but we never truly see it. For all intents and purposes his sister has that and wayyy more of it. His father's love and acceptance? Never had it, so he didn't truly "loose it" when he spoke up for those soldiers, got the scar and was banished, it is not really shown to have suddenly popped into existence when he was said to have killed the avatar. He literally had nothing in the fire nation, literally nothing. This could only make "doing the right thing" a lot easier for him, and for the adult audience (At least for me), his arc is just him realizing what is almost irritatingly obvious for us: That no one in the fire nation truly loves and respects him so might as well switch sides (Basically if we weren't also shown that Zuko is compassionate and does care about the horrible things the fire nation is doing, Ember Island Players would have gotten a bit of truth in it).

Now, in the live action, where do I even start? It has been so good so far when it comes to Ozai and Zuko. That man, if he hated Zuko in a cartoonishly evil way almost from birth, he sure doesn't show it. Don't get me wrong, he is just as abusive (Creepily so in many scenes, made me feel so protective of Zuko and Azula), but he is also shown to "care" about Zuko as in having some hope left that he can mold him into another powerful genocidal mini me. Is Azula winning by far? Ofc, she is still the prodigy, I am sure I am going to see flashbacks of favoritism later on. But Ozai doesn't yet seem to favor her in a way that makes Zuko's craving for his approval (Or even Ozai's hope in him as heir) hopeless. It seems, from his scenes with Azula, that Ozai foments the rivalry and competition between the two siblings not only because he personally thinks Azula is the best (Which he also might in this version), but also as a way of control through fear (Especially for prodigy Azula), and to make them (Especially comparatively weaker Zuko) "better", something this version of Ozai appears to think is possible EVEN when he banishes Zuko. Now, he might have done this "to get rid of him" as in the original, but in the live action he seems super open to and genuinely believe the idea that the exile could make Zuko stronger and better, not to mention worthy of the throne if he succeeds. Ozai treats Zuko like the heir despite favoring Azula is all I am saying. Zuko's actions are therefore almost impossible, yes, but not hopeless or even naive. And if this trend of Ozai's respect and "love" (Super on quotes) being achievable continues, Zuko's eventual turn to the good side will be much more powerful. He will have to give up much more after spending a summer with his abusive parent love bombing him for "killing" the avatar. Zuko's choice will be solely based on his findings about the horrors the fire nation has committed and not wanting to be the cause of more suffering even though he could have it all. Even though it was his fate to be his father's "mini me"-> Something terrifyingly likely and not so quickly discarded by the narrative itself as it was in the animated series.

I think the best part about this subtle change in the father-son dynamic (If it was the intention of the writers, I am aware it could have been unintended) is that the scar tm was a direct result of Zuko's compassion for those soldiers and not just the excuse Ozai used to banish him or "final straw" because he preferred Azula sooo much more, as it is pretty much implied later on in the animated series and comics by focusing so much on how much of a perfect victim Zuko was pretty much from birth. The addition of the 41st surviving because of Zuko was also pretty nice, and so is Zuko's relationship with them, he will need fire nation allies when he gets to the throne and this is a good start, something the animated series never touched upon much.

I am on episode 6 btw so my opinion might change. I will edit this post if that is the case. BUT my thoughts on these first scenes doesn't change, they are good imho

EDIT (And spoilers): I just watched Zhao’s revelation where he tells Zuko that Ozai would never let him return and he just wanted to use him to motivate Azula. It does change things and invalidates most of what I said, but taking out just this one scene, as I said, the Ozai-Zuko dynamic is great in this show, and also, Zhao is obviously not the most reliable source, because he was allied to Azula and obviously wanted to hurt Zuko, as he was losing the fight with him. There is also the fact that Azula wasn't watching Ozai and Zuko when Ozai told his son that he was being banished and that it was in part so he could get stronger etc, that was all for Zuko and had little way of serving as motivation for Azula (Unlike the scenes where Ozai praises Zuko in front of her, those could have totally been him bullshitting his daughter to motivate her to work even harder). So all in all this scene doesn't ruin the overall impression I had of the Ozai-Zuko father-son dynamic in the life action show. In fact, it could be taken to confirm one of my impressions which was that Ozai likes pitying his children against each other to push them harder.

EDIT 2: Ozai's reaction to Zuko's possible death is further proof imo that his “test” was very much real (even if almost impossible) and everything I said earlier still stands. He wouldn't mind that much if he died, it would just prove his “weakness”, and he is very pleased with Azula, but he didn't look happy or even indifferent when he learned the news.

[tansyuduri]

Merlin Loregasm Rewatch S1E2

Hi Everyone! Welcome to my rewatch of Merlin focusing on the lore. I am a giant nerd so pretty excited about this. Time for VALIANT!

So this brings up heraldry in the series. We see Arthur using Camelot heradlry, and other knights doing the same but during tourneys, we see Lots of different other patterned shields. So either people usually use the shield of their overlord in battle but their own in tourneys Or no knights of Camelot besides Arthur appear in tourneys. (I think Lancelot will make this a bit clearer when we get to it.) Either way either this is Valient's family crest, or he serves someone with a family crest. Either way it makes sense for why he murders this dude. As the shield is KINDA a dead giveaway to his identity. (And we know he is a knight or at least is acting as one and pulls it off better then Merlin's later first attempt at identity theft.) They obviously do not require patents of nobility at tourneys because Gwen, Arthur and Merlin pull off a fictional Knight later just fine.

I think he is likely a knight because ARMOR IS EXPENSIVE Y'ALL.

He also says he is from the Western Illes. Because the island of Mora And Ealdor this is the first place we hear about besides Camalot. Does he mean Ireland? I think he means Ireland? ALSO! are you used to my messed up grammar and punctuation yet? I have an LD in both. This is why I always need Betas for my fics despite creative writing being my thing. (I mean besides just wanting them to be better.) (This is an example of autistic oversharing. You are welcome! BACK TO MERLIN!)

So we only see this kinda sparing with Merlin in armor and holding a sword and shield once. (Usually he just holds a target for arthur) However, Merlin does get better with a sword somewhat as the series progresses so I think it likly continues. (Though perhaps a bit more nicely) It's interesting because Arthur has his pick of people to spar with, we see that later. Yet he says "Most Servants collapse after the first blow" So who is he sparing with? Has he been given manservants he didn't like before and just used this to make them quit? ANYHOO this was not as much lore so will not often comment on character dynamics but yesh.

Okay so I will spare you the talk of different armor parts. BUT this is really interesting compared to mentions of "Camalot forged steel"

See many Castles would have their own blacksmith and the one in the villager would be more for horseshoes, nails, and the like. Because armor and weapon making was A BIG DEAL

This implies Gwen's father was a HIGHLY SKILLED blacksmith who likely served the knights of Camalot. (He can't have been the only one because when he dies there is a period of time before Elyan comes and in Gwen's words Gets the forge running again.) But for a regular blacksmith to serve as an armor and weapon maker is a BIG DEAL that kinda knowledge was highly specialized! And yet Uther killed him easily.

OKAY time to nerd out a bit! This is quartering, an advanced heraldic tradition in which an individual for some reason or another wanted to show MORE than one coat of arms they were entitled to. You guys should look all this up, its fascinating! But onward!

Okay yeah remember what I said about Gwens family likely descending back to the Roman times? It's still possible but if Arab knight equivalents can get to Camelot then her family could totally have come from northern Africa for other reasons. Also I like the dude in Mauve having an Anglo-Saxon Helm and the due behind him having one from the 1100s I love Merlin's stew of things from all over history.

Okay this is perhaps just Uther being an ass. Because I'm sorry if you are not the king of Mercia I refuse to belive you are the king of Ireland. (Albion is not united yet.)

Perhaps its mostly knights of Camalot here with some exeptions? I mean if we are creative with the dude CLEARLY of the middle east we can say somehow became a noble of camalot. It would explain a few things. Did Valiant come from Ireland (Sorry I mean The Western Illes) originally then somehow for reasons we will not question also moved to Camalot? (Unlikely as Uther asks him to stay later.) There are also very few people here so likley perliminary tournaments were held? I mean we do see in Lancelot people come from all over to try to be knights of Camalot. so THEORETICLY Uther might be being honest here?

Okay this guys helm is the same as the Arab dude we saw before I think he just took his outher coat off. BUT And some of this gear is very European. So Camalot somehow has an Arab noble family that fights in ancestral gear when they can OR he got repairs along the long journey to Camalot in local styles. Take your pick!)

(You know because I can't be normal and just say they throw this in for visual appeal.)

Something to note! This would normally be the job for a Squire. A Squire was also usually the step before knighthood but in the Merlin world they do not seem to exist!

[wen-kexing-apologist]

What Happened to Trin? aka Paying Attention to My Favorite Straight Boy

Friends. Romans. Country men. 

I have a confession. 

Yesterday I reblogged a Shadow gifset of Josh cuddling Nai in the middle of the night after returning from his evening of smoking in the woods with Dan. In that reblog, I wrote the tag “Josh is my favorite straight boy in the show”. I showered praise upon him for being secure enough in his own sexuality to cuddle with the Known Queer. But I am concerned I may have been mistaken. 

I was chatting with @khathastrophe about some Shadow theories and she sent me a screen shot of a conversation she had had with @brazilian-whalien52 about her theories around Josh. 

Now, I personally do not think that Trin had a crush on Josh, unless they are intentionally obfuscating the context around the two conversations that Trin had with Joe where he did pretty much everything but explicitly state his feelings for Joe. And I hadn’t been thinking about Josh in relation to drugs, because yeah, he smoked weed, but if you couldn’t tell already, I have been hyperfocused on trying to unravel the One Armed Man thread and he is the only one I could remember having explicit ties to narcotics. 

BUT! I had already been working my way through a re-watch of Episodes 1-7 to see if there was any new information I could glean from the show now that I had better knowledge of all the characters and their relationships to one another. And tonight, I was already planning on watching Episodes 5-7, so I said “you know what? I have been 0% suspicious of Josh the entire way through, but this show is steeped in mystery and it would be irresponsible of me no to pay attention to the character that I write off…after all, in a mystery it’s always the inconspicuous ones,” 

And thus began my Josh!focused Rewatch of Episodes 5-7 (shout out to @so-much-yet-to-learn for bullying me about this, thank you for keeping me humble friend <3). 

Some things I noticed in Episode 5:

Anan was running against Trin for student body president 

When Trin is speaking in to the megaphone about wanting to change the bathrooms, Josh is in the crowd of students listening, but he does not participate in the chants everyone else is saying. And the second the Head Master appears, he is running off before he can really be registered as in attendance of this gathering. 

Josh was out of the room when Joe saw Trin’s ghost, he returns after Trin’s ghost disappears, and Josh has left the auditorium when Trin’s ghost reappears and Nai sees him following after Joe. 

Trin’s medical records state that he has bipolar disorder which can cause him to have hallucinations, he was off his medication, and he was using narcotics to treat his symptoms 

It is later revealed that Trin got a medical check up after his arm injury, where it was discovered that he had consumed marijuana. 

All in all there isn’t much to go off of here, expect that Josh seems rather non-committal to Trin’s policy changes, and he does not want to be seen in the company of unruly students. 

Episode 6, however, is where it starts getting interesting for me, because Episode 6 is where Josh invites Dan out for a little smoke sesh.  

Now, I will admit, at the time of my initial watch, most of the conversation between Dan and Josh whizzed right on past me, obviously the only reason he had called Dan out there was to ask if he liked Cha-aim and to showboat a little bit. But on this watch through, thinking about Trin and Josh and drugs, the conversation hit much different, and it warranted a theory. 

The Build Up

Dan asks Josh where he got the weed from, and Josh tells him he got it from a man named Bancha, an alumnus of the school who is a witch doctor. (now that I think about it, that is probably who this person is from the promos for Ep 8-14 (to your question @slayerkitty): 

ANYWAY, Josh tells Dan that Bancha is a hermit who lives near the woods, and is a witch doctor that can treat mental illnesses. He asks Dan if he’s been having trouble sleeping and upon hearing Dan confirm his sleeping issues, tells Dan that Bancha could totally help him get rid of his sleeping problems. 

So why did this start ringing alarm bells for me this time through? Because a) I was watching Josh with more scrutiny these episodes, b) I’ve been paying a probably unhealthy amount of attention to arms in Shadow over the last few weeks and c) I remembered more details about Trin. 

The Puzzle Pieces 

When Trin’s parents come storming in to Brother Anurak’s office pissed the fuck off because their sons medical records got leaked to the press, Brother Anurak mentions to them that Trin about a year ago (which is around the time Trin disappeared), Trin was treated in a hospital for an injury to his arm. 

We open Episode 1 of Shadow with Trin running through the forest, with his left arm bandaged up. 

Brother Anurak also tells Trin’s parents that he had weed in his system when he got that treatment. (When I heard this at first I brushed it off because it felt like between the mention of bipolar, hallucinations, and narcotics use, adding the weed on top was just a few too many things to try to discredit any potential intel Trin might have had and to distance the school more from his disappearance). 

Josh is the only person we have seen with weed (so far).  

Trin was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and did not like the medication he was on. He wanted to feel “normal” and to get off his medication, which we are told through a flashback conversation between Trin and Master Joe in the theater. We also learn that Trin is going somewhere, he wants to give Master Joe a pen of his to hold on to while he is away and tells Joe, “when I come back and I’m rid of this disease, I will give you your answer” [side note: Joe does not take Trin’s pen, yet he has it in his desk in 1999, so he had to get it back from Trin somehow]

In short, Trin wants to be cured of his bipolar disorder and this Banchan guy that Josh mentioned is a witch doctor that can treat mental illness. 

The Theory 

So with these things in mind, that Josh was in a lot of the flashback scenes with Trin, that Trin had smoked weed at some point before his disappearance, wanted to be rid of his mental illness, had an injured arm, and was running through the woods when we first are introduced to him, I came up with a theory. 

Josh played an active role in Trin’s disappearance. 

gif from @pharawee

With the crumbs they have presented to us so far, my theory is that at the beginning of Episode 1 we are seeing Trin escaping the witch doctor that Josh has convinced Trin to go see. Trin had an injured arm at the beginning of Episode 1, and Brother Anurak mentions an arm injury, so I’d have to imagine they are the same injury. Which means that Trin had probably smoked weed with Josh like Dan had smoked weed with Josh. I can imagine that Trin asked the same question about where Josh got his drugs from, and that Josh gave the same answer. I can imagine Josh potentially knowing about Trin’s medical diagnoses, or at least observing in part Trin’s own experience with hallucinations and relying on that to help convince Trin to go see the witch doctor. 

I can see Josh getting closer to Trin, close enough to get Trin comfortable with him, close enough to get Trin to trust him. I can see Josh and Trin sneaking out to the edge of the woods to smoke, and how that might make it easier to get Trin alone, away from prying eyes, and more comfortable with being in the forest at night. I can see Josh either walking Trin straight to the witch doctor’s door, or telling Trin how to get there. I can imagine the witch doctor trying to do something to “cure” Trin, whether that be an exorcism, a poisoning, an attempted murder, or something else entirely, and Trin managing to escape. Which would explain why we see him running through the woods, because as Josh said, Bancha lives right near the woods. 

I see some things repeating themselves in the promo for the second half of the season, namely Dan having his left arm bandaged the same way that Trin’s was at the beginning of the show and running through the woods looking behind him scared the same was Trin was at the beginning of the show.

Do I think Josh is alone in all of this? No. If he is involved in this at all, I literally have no gauge or understanding of how complicit and aware of what he is doing Josh is. If Josh did play a role in Trin’s disappearance, is he sticking so close to Nai because he feels guilty? Or if my theory does hold true and Josh is pulling Dan aside for conversations and smoke sessions, is he intentionally setting something up?

Josh seems really comfortable and at ease with being physically affectionate and flirty with Nai, despite the potential to be subjected to homophobia, yet he also thinks theater is gay and tells Dan not to join because people will think he is a fag (which, I believe is the closest translation of “toot” to English, fruitcake is certainly not it). 

When Trin was getting beaten up by Anan, Josh just puts his Walkman radio on and ignores the entire fight. Anan and Josh both say Trin is dead (and to be fair, if it were me and a student at my high school went missing a full year before, I would probably also assume they had died). 

Oh! And another thing, one of the drawings in Dan's vision of the One Armed Man was a camera, you know who is associated with cameras?

Josh, our resident Photographer and General Assistant

I think @brazilian-whalien52 made a great point in the conversation I had with her: “Shadow seems like the type of drama everybody had a little hand in. Not an individual blame, but a look through society and the roles we play that affect others,” 

All of which is to say, I unfortunately, will be withholding granting Josh “favorite straight boy” status in Shadow until the narrative proves my theory wrong.

[nofomogirl]

Metatron's manipulation step by step

Part 3: The Entrance

Part 1 - where I discuss the significance of the coffee.

Part 2 - where I take a look back at season 1

Ok, time to actually get to the promised "step by step" part and look very closely at what Metatron is doing, from the moment he appears on Earth to the very (heartbreaking) end of the episode (and the season, and the story so far). Well, in this part I'll stop when he sends the Angels away but we'll get to the very end eventually.

We first see Metatron on Earth when Crowley is escorting Nina and Maggie out of the bookshop. He's standing in line in front of Give me coffee or give me death, waiting for the shop to open and I think we should really stress the significance of that. Not his purchase of coffee and conversation with Nina - though they are important too - but the sole fact that he's there, in the street, in the queue, and NOT IN THE BOOKSHOP.

Gabriel has just gotten his memory back. His affair with Beelzebub has just been brought to light. Michael, Uriel, Saraqael, Dagon, Shax, and Furfur are shouting over each other about what should be done with them, while Beelzebub and Gabriel hold hands. They're still there! Nothing is decided yet.

But apparently, Metatron was more interested in buying coffee than confronting the Archangel who escaped his judgment.

I mean, I don't think anybody ever doubted that Meteron traveled to Earth specifically to talk to Aziraphale, and that was his top priority. It's not exactly a revelation. But it still baffled me just how little he cared about Gabriel's fate. Even at the point when he still might have influenced it. After the second rewatch I started drawing my conclusions from that about Metatron's personality and taking notes, but after the third time, I realized I was missing the point. Metatron's decision to stay out of Gabriel's business wasn't informed by how much he did or didn't care about it. It was all about how it would make him look if he was seen involved.

Aziraphale already had a rather unfavorable impression of him from their previous encounter (season 1) and now our beloved dorky Principality got himself involved in Gabriel's case, risking his safety to protect the Archangel from Heaven. And it was Metatron who was presiding over Gabriel's trial and decided Gabriel's punishment would be to have his memories erased.

Entering the bookshop while Gabriel was still there, while his fate was still being discussed, posed a serious risk of exposing Metatron's role in the whole mess. Entering after it all blew over meant that Aziraphale didn't have a chance to make a connection.

Now let's look at the exact circumstances under which Metatron did enter the bookshop.

He came in at the exact moment Michael was threatening Aziraphale to erase his existence just so he could put a stop to it and chastise the Archangels. He immediately steps into a role of a savior and a voice of reason.

Let's dissect it a little.

Michael's exact words are "I am authorized to remove the name of anyone who helped Gabriel from the Book of Life".

But Metatron insists she "doesn't have the authority to do anything like that".

That begs the question: if Michael really was wrong and never could use the Book, where did she get the idea that she could? True, Michael is portrayed as particularly dim and vain this season. She does attribute herself to more power than she actually has. But her phrasing strongly implies that it was a one-time thing. Michael doesn't think she can use the Book at will, at any time, against whomever she pleases. She believes she has the authorization to use it in this specific instance. That's a strange thing to be confused about, don't you think?

Another glaringly strange thing is how Archangels don't seem to know who Metatron is.

The only person to recognize him immediately is Crowley, which makes sense, considering he had just watched Gabriel's trial. He says the last time he saw the guy, he was a giant floating head, and that triggers Aziraphale's memory, which again, makes sense. In season 1 it was clear Aziraphale had never seen Metatron before - he asked if he was talking to God, and Metatron needed to introduce himself - and it's been a couple of years since then. He hasn't forgotten him but he needed a little tip to recognize him in a different getup.

It's the Archangels' reaction that doesn't make sense. They had all been present at the trial. Saraqael had seen it again at the same time Crowley did. There's no logical reason why they should be so oblivious.

There are quite a few theories about this, the most common being that Crowley recognizes Metatron because he used to be such a high-ranking angel before the Fall, and from all the supernatural entities in the room he knew Metatron the best. And while I am inclined to believe Crowley indeed used to be a big shot in Heaven, I don't think it's a satisfactory explanation for this situation. If that was all there was, there would be no reason for all three of the Archangels to not connect the dots at the same time Aziraphale did. But they didn't. It's only when the Metatron is explicitly called the Metatron that they finally see it.

Personally, I think Metatron is responsible for both things - Michael's misguided belief she had the power to use the Book of Life & and all Archangels suddenly not recognizing Metatron's face, voice, and presence.

Why?

Because it made the Archangels look really bad.

How would it benefit him?

Well, answer honestly, when Metatron first appeared and started scolding the Archangels like they were misbehaving kids, wasn't that satisfying? Didn't you like him just for that short moment?

I sure did, and I believe that was the point. Except that the performance wasn't for our, the audience's sake, but for Aziraphale's. He makes a whole performance of exposing how incompetent the Archangels are and how outraged he is with that.

And what's even more interesting, right from the moment he enters Metatron speaks like Aziraphale! I didn't notice it at first because he is played by Sir Derek Jacobi and old-fashioned language certainly becomes him. But he doesn't speak this way in Heaven! He doesn't say things like "balderdash" or "piffle" or "spit spot". That's Aziraphale's gimmick.

In other words, Metatron says things Aziraphale very likely always wanted to say, and to boot, he says them in the exact manner Aziraphale would actually say them if he had the power. He plays out a fantasy for our poor Principality, who most likely was never backed by anybody in Heaven, and his issues with Archangels were never validated by anybody.

Metatron draws a very clear line between himself and the Archangels. He shows that they are the problem, they are incompetent, they are unreasonable. Not him.

Which is the first step in convincing Aziraphale that maybe he's worth listening to at least.

Continued in Part 4: Putting on a human face

[neoncityrain]

so according to my girlfriend who had to rewatch all of murder drones with me yesterday, i am more autistic than the average person, i go frame by frame in murder drones and can quote every line of every episode. so ummm heres a long list of shit you probably missed. SPOILERS AND GORE AHEAD.

EPISODE ONE AND TEASERS

theres not much "interesting" in episode one. i DO, however, want to point out the shot of the class. you can see doll and lizzy, sure, but you get another shot of the classroom at the end!

okay, and now its spoilers and gore territory. reader beware!

V AND N'S FIGHT IN EPISODE ONE ENDS WITH NO BLOODSHED. in fact, she misses the explosive shot (which notably n is not shown recovering from after). she THREATENS him with her blades, but no blood is drawn? "ok so what" neither were trying to really hurt each other. v and j, in the last episode, are CONSTANTLY shedding blood. the crossed blades part of this fight is something that v has PROVEN isnt really an issue later on! n is on the back foot! yet she just keeps trying to intimidate him back into line.

OFFICIAL TRAILER

"wait, not episode 2 next?" well, no- because the thing about murder drone teasers, they always show SOMETHING unique. many scenes were animated and then removed from the season trailer, but episode teasers almost always (with the exception of the first and last episode) show a different point of view than the episode itself.

again, i am only showing things that havent been shown. this appears to be a closer view of the corpse spire. this is the only shot i DONT recognize from the first trailer, actually!

SEASON 1 TEASER

yes it is called the "season 1" teaser. its been that from the get-go

uzi cackling maniacally with the solver. whats notable here especially is that she appears to be in the mansion.

alright this ones just funny to me

ok

SEASON TRAILER

a shot of dolls kitchen from another point of view

this shot is of uzi slowly panning a flashlight up a trail of oil, ending with this hole.

corpse basketball. and for why

okay, this ones interesting to me. this animates similarly to the "doll explodes a bug and eats the blood" scene at the end of episode 2, but with the visor hole and animation of episode three!

ma'am you be makin some scary expressions what ya doin

ok im gonna work on the episode two breakdown now. bye

[cafeleningrad]

Utena and Shrek, parallels in the true meaning of love

Alright, I recently rewatched "Shrek" and "Shrek 2", and I feel like unironically talking about Utena-Shrek parallels. I am joking a bit but noth this much, actually. Hopefully the Utena fandom has beheld this gem of a post. In a way, I can only half joke about it because re-watching Shrek, I noticed there is far more romantic sincerity beyond "hahaha let's make fun of Disney kitsch".

Most of all, the entire goal of each story is about the Princess being finally able to make her own choice.

Social outcast protagonist: Both Shrek and Utena don't conform to what their environment wants them to be. The lack of failing to confirm comes is something they can't help themselves with. Utena genuinely has interests in sports, doesn't feel comfortable in feminine clothing. Shrek is an ogre by birth.

Self-imprisoned protagonist: But to their authentic self comes a self-delusion they tell themselves to keep going. These lies allow them to stay within their own, limited circle, and telling themsleves that they're happy in it. Shrek tells himself that he's happy not participating with the outside world. Not because he's grumpy by default but because meeting fear, hatred, and disgust are much easier to endure if he tells himself that he doesn't need other people anyway. He practices this mindset so well, he has a hard time being honest to even himself. Utena was deeply fatalistic after her parent's death, seeing no point of living. Yet the the faded memory of Anthy made ger wanting to end the eternal suffering of another girl. Also, parentless Utena wants to be loved and admired. The only option to express her heroicness,  asl well as becoming a beloved figure without giving up her agency is taking the role of a "prince". Ohtori is as much a place as it's a state of despair. Throughout the plot, Utena seeks being taken seriously by Akio, defining her self-worth as performing as a prince, and finding a reason to live on beyond the confines of "princehood". By the difficulty of understanding herself outside of social roles, and figuring out how to love and be loved, the lie of the prince keeps her trapped at Ohtori.

Shame and fear shakel the princess: Both Anthy and Fiona are actually extremely self-sufficient. Fiona is a skilled material-arts-fighter, so good she can even do the Matrix-timeloop, is physically strong, can cook for herself, and mostly listens to her gut instinct. Anthy is capable of magic powers so strong, she can create a place rotating in a time-loop, changing her appearance, switching bodies, transforming people into animals, and generally knows how to push people's buttons to make them participate in duels, even without magic. So why are these two highly capable girls not escaping their own prison (Ohtori campus, the dragon-guarded tower)? The answer is that fear and shame keep them tied to their place of misery. Fiona is deeply ashamed of her ogre form, describing herself as "hideous and unloveable". She's not wrong to assume that most people would think of her that way. After all, we see how people treat Shrek. Farquard is only interested in Fiona's status and looks, and even Fiona's parents don't recognize her daughter at first. Anthy has nothing in the outside world waiting for her. After all, she has been hurt by the outside world before when she saved Dios. Getting spiked by swords of hatred doesn't sound like a promising change of landscape. In spite of being teenagers, most students at Ohtori avoid Anthy for "being weird" (with a strong hint of racist bullying). Even when Nanami discovers how Akio abuses his own sister, Nanami is rather afraid for herself, and is even more afraid of Anthy. With no perspective of sympathy (why would things anywhere else be different?) how things would be anywhere different for here, Anthy at least has the brother she once loved.

The futility of physical violence: Proving masculinity through violence is a strong plot element in Utena, barely appearing in Shrek. (Although, I am very guilty of being still hyped by the "I need a hero"-action sequence....) Still, it's interesting to me how the champions for the princess don't win her over by dueling/fighting other men for her hand, but talking to her directly. What does the princess want. (Ok, this point is messy but I find it quiet funny how Shrek wins over the dragon by cleverly setting up a trap, and how his Far-Far-Away-castle-conquest also is rather strategic than accomplished via brute force only. And then consider how Anthy stages most duels sometimes with absolute nonsense like distracting Miki, or weird manipulation of physics with Juri.)

Deconstructing heternormative relationship standarts: Ok, this is probably my favourite aspect of both stories when it comes to it's romantic component. Their motivation in sincerity of depicting romance may differ, however, I do think they strike a strong chord about actual romance.

Ok, with Utena, the point was to deconstruct all the trapping of hetero-normative romance - which are an extension of a gendered power hierachy. As we see with the Black Rose duelists, they're less interested in romance  rather than the symbolism their respective princes hold: Having self-confidence by being chosen by their prince, the promise of being cared for, being taken seriously by a socially higher person than them. Anthy is only desired as a rose bride for the power she holds. Anthy and Saionji demonstrate it best: The can use all the poetic phrases of love yet the interest in a prince or a princess is based solely on what they can get out of each other for themselves. Farquard and Prince Charming both want Fiona only primary for her status. Through her, both Farquard and Charming will become kings, apparently Farquard isn't uninterested in her looks either. But that's all that Fiona is to these men: A trophy, and access to social wealth. They aren't interested in her as a person. Her ogre-self is something that is supposed to be eradicated. Instead of understanding her, her greatest shame is treated as something that diminishes her value drastically.

Both Fiona and Anthy are deeply cagey about their shame - for good reason. But through slowly getting to know them, Shrek and Utena form a connection with them without being interested in anything but them. Of course, both parties feel understood and safe around the other. But they can also simply be themselves, goofing around, doing fun activities, exchange deeper thoughts and doubts. In the end, both Utena and Shrek are accepting that the princess might not love them, not even expect to have their love reciprocated. It pains them very much their relationship might not happen but what's more important is the autonomous choice of their loved one.

Love is stored in autonomy and honesty: Ok, ok, ok, ok, ok. I said in the beginning how the endgame of both stories are the final decision of the princess. Their choices are deciding on what makes them actually happy. Their simple choice changes everything! So much build up to the princess’ choice. The happiness of the princess probably shakes the status quo in it's foundation.

Anthy decides to no longer participate in the role of the Rosebride, and leave Ohtori all together. Her magic, her tricks to entice others in participation, is taken from Akio. Most importantly she decides that she has endured enough, all the lost love spent on Akio isn't as meaningful as the chance to somewhere, someday meet the person who loves her in spite of everything she's ashamed about herself, who loves her even though they hurt each other. Most of all, Ohtori makes it really hard to be vulnerable as well as express genuine love. For one, expressions of love between boys and girls get twisted fairly early in the pressure to adhere to roles of dominance and submission. (Ahem, all messed up siblings relationships. Even Tsuwabuki who still speaks with the honesty of a child is lead on to stage danger-and-rescue to conenct with Nanami.) Even same-sex love is overwritten by having to push it through a heteronormative mold. (Saionji and Touga weirdly switch between domination and submission while Saionji gets mocked for his desire to simply be an equal. Shiori isn't actually a mean person but the more Juri retreats from her, the less Shiori knows how to make a connection to Juri.) For one, Ohtori students are mislead in their genuine intention. On the other hand, vulnerable emotions, opening up to another person is often used against them. It took a great deal of pain for Utena to abandon her self-image of "the prince" on which she build-up so much of her character. Enduring Akio's abuse, becoming a person outside the safety of social requirements, that was all worth it to Utena as long as it meant giving Anthy a chance to get out of her coffin.

Fiona despises her “ogreness”. She tries to hide it, even from another ogre. The world tells her that this isn't what a lovable person should be. She performs her nobility at every occasion, singing through birds,  walk poised, reciting the poetry for the fair knight recuing her, not letting through that she's actually a skilled fighter. Yet, the bird blows up in smoke (literally), she farts and burps which she considers natural, or funny. Shrek is fine with who she is, and considers her beautiful no matter if she conforms to beauty standards or not. The entire finale of Shrek is about Shrek wanting to let her know he loves her. It costs him a great deal of vulnerability, still she should know that she's loved outside the purpose of Farquard’s vanity, and the expectations others have of her. Knowing that Fiona can be loved being who she really is, she can make the choice between the life of conformity, or the life of an ogress.

And this is why I think "Shrek 2" is such a great sequel. Fiona has made her choice to be married to Shrek. Marriage shouldn't be a cage but a shared life. Her choice marrying Shrek shouldn't become a more comfortable prison of conforming, but somewhere where she doesn't need to hide away again. In the beginning Shrek still limits his world to the comfort of his swamp. He gained more friends but unlike Fiona he's still afraid of the world outside the swamp. Repeatedly he works against Fiona's desire to meet her parents, get along with her parents, and make an effort of good will. Granted, King Harrold makes it way harder for Shrek than necessary, however Shrek prefers his comfort over Fiona's wish to reconnect with her parents. Again, Shrek and Fiona are faced with what the world wants them to be. Fiona should be a fair princess with a handsome non-ogre-husband, Shrek should simply not be seen outside the swamp. For one part, the movie re-confirms Fiona's choice. The pressure isn't only on conforming to the outside world, though. The pressure also comes from Shrek defining the confines of their shared life. Fiona being an ogre, doing ogre-stuff, living in the swamp corresponds to her proper desires. These desire perfectly align with Shrek’s living style, still Fiona is her own person with desires laying outside the swamp. Through the effort of giving Fiona her human appearance, being approached by a man Harrold would approve of  (funny enough not Lilian), Shrek is ready to give Fiona once again the choice to figure out if she actually, really is happy with being an ogre. He shouldn’t take her for granted. All her life has been decided for her. The fairy godmother used Fiona as a pawn for Charming’s success, her parents send her away without Fiona knowing the reason why, and now the Fairy Godmother wants to decide over Fiona’s head that she’s supposed to be human and Charming’s bride. The final fight is to make sure, Fiona doesn’t get kissed against her will without knowing that it would keep her a human for the rest of her life. Once again Shrek fights everything and everyone to make sure Fiona knows all she needs to know before she chooses herself – even if it means her not being an ogre anymore, and Shrek stepping out of his comfort zone. All that effort is worth It because Fiona’s happiness means so much more than Shrek’s comfort. (Also, I think that’s the reason why the sequels fail so hard. The two first movie were all about the necessity to be vulnerable, and respect your partner as their own person much more over the things they give you. The goals were Fiona’s autonomy. The third and fourth movie are only about Shrek’s masculine crisis. In of itself a good potential BUT: The first two movies were rebelling against conformity, against being what society wanted you to be. And movie 3 and 4 were confirming how good it is to live the nuclear family life in the end, even though a guy can have a little crisis over it. Fiona doesn’t even have much of a say in anything. She gets pregnant and automatically happy to be a mother. In the 4th movie being a nuclear family mother is the only perspective she’s contempt with…)

The honest friend: Donkey and Wakaba. These two are the key element in the development of the protagonists. Whereas Wakaba has a much richer inner life than just being the spunky gal, she often has Utena’s back. Hence why it’s so scary that Akio deceived her to the point she drives with him in his car. But a lot of things wouldn’t work without Wakaba. Akio and Anthy both were surprised Utena emerged as duelist. Utena only dueled Saionji to defend Wakaba after Sainoji mocked her. Without Wakaba, Utena would’ve had a much harder way out of her identity crisis after dueling Touga if Wakaba hadn’t fought so hard for confirming Utena’s true self. Everyone at Ohtori tells Utna how childish it is to still talk about “the Prince”, how she should not wear boys uniforms, wants to put her in skirts and dresses. Wakaba genuinely adores Utena. She doesn’t want Utena to be anyone but herself. “Being normal is not normal for you!��� Wakaba in essence is the force driving Utena to action. (Also her being a robust Truck with many seats is such a cool aspect in Adolescence. I love Wakaba.) Before there was any princess, there was Wakaba giving Utena a sense of identity.

Donkey is also the driving force in Shrek’s emotional development. Before there was a princess, Donkey relentlessly peels away the onion layers in Shrek’s personality. In spite of his grumpy persona, Shrek rescues donkey anyway, he makes sure donkey never gets harmed no matter how annoying he is. Once pushed by Donkey, Shrek confirms how he actually doesn’t like being feared by everyone, how much that hurts him. In the worst state of despair, Shrek knowing that Fiona will get married to Farquard, it’s Donkey breaking through Shrek’s barriers. No, actually Shrek doesn’t want to be alone, actually he needs friends, he needs to do the hard thing and talk to Fiona. Due to Donkey’s help, Shrek can be true to himself.

Also, both are deeply loyal and funny.

Parents make the worst choice possible for their children: By any means, the Photir parents are notoriously selfish, if not cruel (except for honourable mention Utena’s dead parents). Form the bits we get about them they mostly use their children for themselves. Touga’s adoptive father is definitely the worst in it all. The Kaoru parents present their children as child prodigies however Kozue’s well-being is disregarded form the get-go. And when the father leaves the family for his lover, the children are supposed to get along with the procedure, and not stir trouble. Kanae’s own mother sleeps with her daughter’s fiancé behind her back which is so many levels of messed up. In total, Ohtori parents treat their children as property for their own interests, not because they would love them.

With Queen Lilian and King Harrold it is a bit more complicated. They love their daughter but ultimately, Harrold’s self-interest won. Harrold is characterized as a man with very conformist ideas what the world should look like. (There is a subtextual implication that he’s the frog king which would explain why his complex of being different is extended towards any other social outcast.) Fiona turning into a monster each night is perhaps the most socially stirring curse possible. Rather than accepting his daughter as she is, without her needing to be afraid of what she is at night, Harrold preferred sending her far away from any human eyes.

In the beginning of the family home, there was no love.

In the beginning of the family home, there was no love.

the ideal Prince: First it was joke but the more I think about it, Charming and Touga are actually so similar. Ok, Touga is emotionally stuck and egotistical due to abuse. Charming is a man-child because he's a pampered mama's boy. However, the stage for them to get the princess, and the power she holds, was set-up for them. In Touga's case him becoming the champion has a sinister reason (Akio wants to use his sword to crush at the Rose gate). In both cases, the Princess is kept in a stage of suffering, so the prince can play-act swooping her away, gaining her hand, her kingdom, and her power. Despite their conventional good lucks, having accomplished all society wants a prince to be, they're rather sleazy. Ok, now please restrain me before I draw paralles between Akio and the Fairy Godmother!

Épée-swordfighter turns from enemy to friend: Parallels between Puss and Miki. As we see

The scary gal is actually a great friend: So, Juri and the Dragonness. In this essay I will

Note: [I have my opinions about why the take "Utena deconstructs fairy tales" is not cutting anything. I don't want to fault anyone who has claimed so because the popcultural idea of fairytales being about princes on the white horse and princesses to be rescued is a massively popular- albeit a fairly inaccurate. Engagement with actual Grimm tales, and literary fairy tales (Kunstmärchen) proves how more often the female protagonist is rather proactive*, and the prince is mostly a happy ending decorum of her journey. (From the top of my head, I can only name Snow-White and Sleeping Beauty where the girls are in actual need of rescue, while also being of noble birth.) (*Female characters in Grimm fairy tale editions are an extremely messy affair. Post 2nd-edition of their fairy tale collection, the Grimms heavily edited the folkloric texts whereas the social convention, and their own sexism seeped through.) In any case I am very inclined to argue that Utena functions way more on fairy-tale-logic than on any deconstructive narrative. And Shrek was more about engaging with boy-meets-girl-formular Disney-kitsch, and basically Jeffrey Katzenberg producing a gigantic middle finger towards Michael Eisner. So, I do think the parallels go much deeper than an inaccurate take on fairy tales.]

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S01E07

I am already two days behind and I only just started the rewatch.

It's not a crime show without a hostage situation where one of our own is involved™

We might not have seen any of Sarah's family yet but we have pretty much met all her besties, starting with Allison.

"You are currently standing in a room with 7 of the 12 most dangerous viruses in the planet". Did you guys start Covid?

I will forever love Charlie's worried look when he came to Joe after he got the text message from Sarah.

Poor Jesse looks like he really did not sign up for this.

Sarah was handling the hostage situation fine, too bad she had to have the classic "hostage who wants to be a hero" in there trying to sabotage her efforts.

Renley's second appearance.

I am choosing not to think too much about how they apparently trained Rex to go through the correct vents all the way to Sarah, all in a few... hours? minutes?

The part in the montage where Rex has to go left and he goes right and Charlie says "almost"... What do you mean??? That is the exact opposite of almost.

Who approved of this lmao

I still think that in this episode there was the implication that something serious happened to Sarah in her last semester in university. Too bad it was never mentioned again after that.

Rex inside the vent: This is so not like the mock exam!

Charlie's proud look as he says, "I knew Sarah would find that camera."

The gunman quickly became more sympathetic than hero guy and the guy from the company who came to tell them to do their job like they weren't doing it already.

And of course Charlie gets to dress as a paramedic to get in there. It did take the gunman a bit to recognize his voice, but at least he did in the end.

Charlie's "I don't think you're gonna shoot" was so self-assured, he's just begging to be shot, man.

The scene where Sarah leaves Charlie behind... ah, yes, the Charah ship came out of nowhere. I hate that they didn't have another scene after that, though.

[atla-recluse]

Some Not-So-Gentle Reminders and Points for the Gravity Falls Fandom (And for Fandoms in General) to Consider, Especially the Dishonest and Clueless “Apologists”

Note: So here’s my official first Gravity Falls post. I’m not exactly a new fan, though I am having a second wind of interest and appreciation for it and everything in it. For this particular post, I guess I just really felt like getting some thoughts off my chest and just kept going after that. Sorry for lack of pics/direct evidence. This was supposed to be quick and most of this stuff should be pretty obvious if you just pay attention and take the bias goggles off. I might come back and add images/media later. I’ll gladly correct any mistakes too, big or small, if need be.

Now consider this:

- Stan, in the scene where he allegedly “broke” Ford’s science fair project, didn’t even touch it! I repeat, Stan DID NOT touch Ford’s science fair project! What he touched, was the table it was set on when he slammed his fist down! Yet he was and still is blamed for it breaking by everyone in the fandom and show, even himself. How has this common claim so rarely been questioned by a fandom that prides itself on being skeptical and solving mysteries? Just use your eyes and rewatch the scene, people!

- The fact that Ford was so quick to accuse Stan—the one person in the whole world out of his entire life that had supported him through thick and thin and always protected him—of breaking his project based on minimal evidence at best, implies that Ford already had a low opinion of Stan by that point and probably much earlier. It implies that even if he did love Stan, he definitely didn’t believe in him. No one had ever believed in or supported Stan until Soos came into his life, followed by Wendy, Dipper and Mabel.

- No matter how you try and slice it, Ford had been outright shown time and time again, through both words and actions, to have not appreciated Stan’s love or devotion to him, or their closeness. At least not outwardly, to us viewers. His true feelings might not always show and we do get some glimpses here and there of his thoughts on Stan, but appearances matter a lot! Someone being open to doing things with another person, seemingly to keep up an air of decency and calm while they’re trapped in the same place together, doesn’t mean that person appreciates the other. It doesn’t even necessarily mean that you want a relationship with that person or to reconcile.

- Ford’s usage of the words “suffocating” and “meant for something greater” when talking to Dipper about familial relationships and specifically the boy’s connection with his sister Mabel, besides many other talked-to-death things, is very telling and shows how much he was terrified of the intimacy he had with Stan. There’s literally no nicer way to put it. He didn’t just want to escape the bullying he received or the crappy town he grew up in. He wanted to escape Stan. At some point in his adolescence, Ford seemed to have grown to view Stan as an obstacle to his success, a weight on his shoulders, a leech or spotlight hog of some sort, or just a painful reminder of awful experiences. This in itself is a very realistic reaction and when you look at the examples, the case for Ford truly being proud of what he had with Stan looks very shaky. Despite what I’ve noted here, I do think Ford did and does greatly love Stan deep down. But he also seemed to be afraid of something, which seems to have led to him wanting to run away from his feelings—and from Stan.

- Again, it’s possible to love someone dearly but still harm them or view them as harmful to you or for both of you to harm each other. If you really want to view Ford’s immediate discarding of what was supposedly both his and Stan’s dream, along with Stan himself, in a somewhat more positive (well, more selfless) light, you could argue that Ford thought he was holding Stan back (instead of solely vice versa). After all, if Stan did depend on Ford as much as we see him do in the series to the point where they were practically a (mis?) matched pair of socks, it could very well be that Ford felt like he was forcing Stan to be the ‘dumb but brawny and funny’ twin to his ‘smart but weak and weird’ self. Maybe he figured Stan shouldn’t have to keep defending him and making a fool of himself to make Ford happy and feel less alone in his ‘freakishness’ into adulthood. Perhaps he thought some separation was what they both needed to finally grow into two fully-fledged, separate beings.

- There’s an argument to be made that Ford is/was extremely narcissistic and insecure. You know what many narcissists (with or without NPD) have in common? They have low self-esteem. Low self-esteem often born from a childhood of emotional abuse and neglect and constantly being told there’s something wrong with you, that you’re not and will never be good enough. Low self-esteem and a need to hide it and look for ways to avoid rejection or coming rejection, even if it’s just perceived. It can be easy to forget that Stan and Ford were both treated terribly inside the home as well as outside it. Ford was on some level the golden child whereas Stan was the scapegoat. There are some narcissistic dynamics going on here. (They’re very prevalent in families, you know?) Childhoods like theirs are known for breeding such people. This means that Ford may have saw himself in a negative light but felt Stan’s love was exacerbating the problem because he was being led to believe that Stan was a problem; The problem child.

- Stan shows signs of extreme codependency to the point of having traits that practically mimic that of BPD/EDD/EUPD (including insecurity and low self-esteem as well). He’s clearly terrified of abandonment yet of closeness too, at the same time. This is likely also caused by his and Ford’s childhood. Many people with BPD come from homes like theirs, too. Now I understand these are cartoon characters, so the urge to diagnose, while understandable, is typically pointless. However, if we’re speaking theoretically on which disorders match up with characters the most based on what we see and find out about them, then yes, Stanley seems to be extremely codependent—especially toward Stanford—and likely suffers from other emotional trauma that was made far worse after he was kicked out.

Do we ever see it so much as implied that this concerns Stanford though? That he sympathizes with whatever current plight his brother is going through even once outside of the finale of all times, particularly before Stanley had seemingly already been erased out of existence? I don’t think we do. Well, maybe once. Stanford gave Dipper a pretty and high tech tie to give to Stanley... I guess he wanted to throw his poor, dumb dog of a brother a bone. (I kid, I kid. But not really.)

You can’t even claim that it was the same the other way around and say that Stan doesn’t pay mind to Ford’s struggles or want to help him out of them ever, because the show often goes out of its way to illustrate to us the opposite and often also makes it clear just how much Stan adores Ford. Spending their childhood protecting and sticking up for him. Dropping/giving up everything for Ford repeatedly. Being concerned over Ford’s sanity/behavior when he visited him that fateful day in 1982. Still holding out hope he’ll change his mind on their old dream despite the hell he’s been put through. Forgiving Ford for everything even after he almost ‘dies’ to clean up the problem that, mind you, FORD CAUSED TO BEGIN WITH. Ford “ruined” his own life! (And is implied or explicitly shown to have had a hand in bringing about the intense hardship of others’ lives. E.g. Stanley, Fiddleford....the evidence is there.)

- In fact, there can be no talks about “who was more responsible for Weirdmageddon” without acknowledging who was the first one to shake the devil’s hand: Ford! I mean, of course it’s mainly Bill’s fault, he’s the villain! The point is that it’s harder for others to do wrong when we refuse to help them. We know romantic relationship cheaters are jerks but what about those who knowingly help the cheaters cheat? They never get a pass, now do they? Then the same can especially be said for Stanford, who did not refuse to help Bill—even despite warnings about summoning him—until it was too late and the cat was miles away from the bag. At that point he had no one to blame but himself for the problem continuing to escalate. I mean, don’t you remember the many questionable ways he tried to contain it?!

- Stanley is not even close to being the dumb twin. Not in anyway. On top of all the skills he’s learned over the decades, he’s actually implied to be close to as smart or even equal to Stanford. His whole life is actually a testament to how amazing he truly is at surviving and, given the right tools, thriving. You know what some of you sound like when you have nothing but crap to say about this main’s relatively positive traits, irrespective of his actual wrong-doings? Stanford Pines, pre-realization of all the ways he has screwed things up for those around him. You know, who the man was only after he erased Stanley’s memory. Though a lot of you seem to self-insert and project onto Stanford to an unpleasant extent anyway, so I guess that’s not surprising. You know who else you end up sounding like? Filbrick Pines. Yeah, that one. I don’t know, seems a bit disturbing to be. You know who else you often end up sounding like? Bill Cipher, if I remember properly. In fact, wasn’t it implied that much of Stanford’s negative views of Stanley and not needing family, was influenced by Bill? Hmm.

- You can not blame Stanley for pushing Stanford into the portal while completely ignoring the context of the scene and all the actions that lead up to that point. Ford sent Stan a vague postcard (implying he may have known how to reach Stan all along). Ford allowed Stan inside and in the basement where things were bound to be the most dangerous. Ford told Stan to take the book and get as far away from him (“sail as far away as you can. To the edge of the Earth”) as possible despite knowing their were a lot of tender feelings there, especially when it came to the two of them sailing together. Ford started the fight when Stan tried to burn the book he was given, that Ford wanted to get rid of anyway! Ford pushed Stan while trying to get said book back onto a bunch of buttons which activated the portal to begin with! The accidental lever turn came after that and the Stan accidentally pushing him into the portal was just the nail in the coffin of their faux family reunion that Ford caused to happen. 

No one made Ford choose an unsuspecting Stan as a tool and means to an end for the mess he put himself and possibly the whole world in. That was his choice. Either they’re both to blame or Ford is solely to blame. What you’re not going to do is put the entirety of the blame on Stan. Call me every name in the book for this, but I believe the BIGGEST innocent victim in that scenario was Stan! You don’t need to blame him for every single terrible thing that happened to Ford because Stan already blames himself for everything! Even when it doesn’t look like it could have been him responsible for it! He already is full of shame and remorse that fill every step he takes every single day. He worried every day for thirty years that the blood of one of the only people in his life that he’s loved, may have been on his own hands.

- I think it’s possible that one of the reasons Ford latched on to Bill despite all the red flags, was because Bill reminded him of Stanley. He wanted a friend. He wanted his best friend back. Bill played the role almost perfectly—until he didn’t anymore and Ford realized his mistake. This could mean that there’s a chance he realized the biggest difference between Stan and Bill since he did end up contacting the former after Bill’s betrayal, and in his own words, chose Stan because he trusted him. He still trusted Stan. It could have been less than when they were children though and all that time with someone that reminded him of Stan yet ended up betraying him ‘too’ may have caused him to start associating Stan with Bill. I can imagine that after he was sucked into the portal, Ford’s associating Stan with painful betrayal may have worsened. But bringing him out of the portal could have slightly improved it. And seeing as they finally sailed away by the end, he realized must have he was wrong to ever associate them, if he had before. I bet they’re probably still sailing around the world together over a decade later right now.

- If the thought of both twins not returning home and choosing to live with their grunkles and exploring gravity falls/world and sailing the sea together, bothers you, ask yourself how it would have been soooo much better if only Dipper had stayed while Mabel went back home? You see the issue with that now? I won’t argue whether or not it’s okay for a 12 - 13 year old boy to stay in a far off place with an adult family member. After all their parents didn’t mind sending them alone to Gravity Falls for the summer to live with their great uncle anyway, which was likely dangerous/irresponsible of them for many reasons. I just think it’s suspicious that some people can only see the issue if someone suggests that both twins should have left their parents and life in California behind to resolve the issue of the apprenticeship and keeping close to one’s sibling all at once.

- The Stan Twins told their story in ATOTS but only we, the audience, actually see it play out. The characters don’t. The way brothers explained it may have made it seem to each other like the other still had no sympathy for them and didn’t think that what they did was wrong. Stan even called Ford’s dream college “stupid” while the flashback was being shown and he was explaining his side of the story. The fact that neither apologizes for the painful things they helped contribute to in their young adulthood which affected them, probably didn’t help either.

- In one of the scenes from the ATOTS flashback, Ford yelled at Stan “Help me Stanley!” as he was slowly sucked into the portal. He wanted Stan to save him! These were Ford’s final words to him that Stan internalized and are what Stan immediately set out to do! He likely worked for decades with these last words in mind, not knowing whether Ford would still be alive when he brought him back to their world! Ford even threw the book that they’d fought over to Stan before he disappeared. How do you think that looked from Stan’s POV? Like a visual cry for help on top the audible one I bet! Also, Ford had some awful nightmares thanks to Bill. It was terrible what was done to him and pushed him to the point of insanity. However, he wasn’t the only one with fears, regrets and a troubled past. Imagine what Stan’s nightmares must have been like, especially the ones with Ford in them? The parts of Stan’s dreamscape that we got a view of were depressing. The dreary colors, the symbolism...

- Both sets of twins are extremely sensitive to and immediately take things to heart, especially insults/criticism and all of them can at times act less mature than their actual ages. They all feel inadequate in some way. They just showed these traits to different extents and unhealthily cope in different ways. Be careful with their feelings and what you say to them because all of them wear a front as a cover for protection. They also all occasionally lack common sense, act silly and say and do the oddest things at times. Plus they all need someone who genuinely loves them dearly to hold them down and would die for their family (or die of heartbreak if they didn’t get there in time).

- Stan and Ford after decades apart and so much animosity between them, are sailing on a ship. They could be together in the middle of nowhere very often. Knowing of all those negative feelings that were present, it leads me to think about all the ways their trip could have gone wrong. Many understand that their father was abusive, but what if they were or became abusive to each other? I don’t want to believe this would happen and I doubt we were supposed to consider such a thought. However, the terrible possibilities are still there. At worst, I prefer to think that things are at times bitter but then sweet.

- It’s very fascinating to me how so much “Stanford Defense” seems to be built upon throwing other characters under the bus to make him seem less culpable for his own choices. It boggles my mind how the same people who claim that characters such as Stan and Mabel are never questioned on anything (laughable to say this point, especially coming from them) seem to be the ones doing everything in their power to keep people from so much as voicing displeasure anymore at any part of Ford’s character. I swear I’m ever seeing the same names on different sites arguing with people about how wrongly ridiculed he is. It’s really is starting to look like all the “Stanford gets soooo much unnecessary HAAAAATE and is always bAsHeD” people are trying to take things in the opposite direction. Which is just as upsetting if not more so, because such behavior only leads to the shutting down of discussion and critique. That’s horrible for a fandom to go through, just like the other way around. Can’t Gravity Falls do better than that?

- Your faves won’t ever be every single person’s faves. Sometimes people will even dislike a character that you like. That’s fine! That’s life! Just don’t forget while loving said character, that this does not have to mean you approve of everything they say or do. You don’t need to jump to one’s defense whenever someone makes a point. Especially a valid one that can’t truly be disproven anyway. It makes you look delusional and like you’re in a parasocial relationship with that fictional character. Learn and never forget the difference between arguing an important point with societal implications and solely defending a character for the sake of it, please.

- Mental illness is not a joke or something to wear as a badge of honor. It’s also not something that, if noticed, should be swept under the rug. In the case of fictional characters, I think it’s quite admirable when people can see certain traits of themselves or their loved ones in characters past the stereotypical ones, but that also gives us a chance to talk about those traits and just how hard it can be to live with them and why sympathy and amnesty is so important to healing and moving forward. I believe Stan and Ford especially show signs of extreme mental illness in the show that I have a hunch were placed in them on purpose. This seems to be one of those cases where we’re supposed to see our own family dynamics in them.

- It’s asinine to claim to love a character but ignore or even outright deny their faults and flaws, even when they admit to it! If you love someone, love all of that person, even if you’re often at odds with them. When someone says they love Stanford for literally deny things about him that are proven to be true, I’m left wondering if that person actually loves him—or just the idea of him. Same with any other character this happens with. Enough with the need for our favorite characters to be pure, perfect versions of ourselves. Enough with the need to wipe away issues and to go as far as making up traits for the character, or even stealing their traits from another to make him or her look better and the other character look worse. You’re in effect masking what depth is actually present and risking putting a bad taste in the mouth of those that are neutral on them; souring them to the character and even fandom. 

- Even the characters with potential who were unfortunately underutilized—such as Caryn Pines, the mother of the Stan Twins—still tended to fill their main roles in the story pretty well, even despite time restraints. Some of these and other side characters even managed to gain their own small group of fans and fan-creators on their behalf, within the larger fandom. That is pretty wild and deserves some praise. Nice one writers!

- Sometimes it really does help to just remove yourself from the story and just be meta with your takes, i.e. to distance yourself when discussing something because it helps make you less biased and more evidence-based. There are times where we really do see something in a character that indeed was not there or meant to be there. Death of the author can only allow for so much leeway in interpretations. Authorial intent will always matter. This show was very detailed and there are so many things you only noticed after looking again. Some theories exist that imply the whole story for the Pines Family would have mattered no matter what in-universe. We need to be careful when arguing things, we may be/end up wasting our time even more than we think. Oh and ...cartoon logic haha. Also no one loves or will ever love the Pines Family like the Pines Family can. Nor like the creators/writers themselves do. We also can not understand them the way the ones who made them can. When in doubt, it tends to be best to just trust them and their intentions, and your gut as a last resort.

- The Gravity Falls ending was meant to be a happy, fairytale-like ending. That’s how it’s been implied to be the case by the creator (probably not with the company known for fairytales, Disney, even asking him to) and is the reason why every character was so quick to forgive and forget, and why everyone but the ‘super bad guys’ got their ideal ending. Sometimes it’s really not about what would have been the most interesting or profound (or logical) to viewers when making directive choices but about what would make us feel most at peace.

Note: This was all written with mostly one perspective in mind. There are however, many others ones and I do think lots of them are valid takes too, some of them I may even agree with as well and may have hinted at. Also, although it can be hard to tell with so many questionable decisions made, things not done that should have been and even some writing errors here and there, I do think all four of the Pines Family members and those adopted into the family, truly love each other and express it in different ways. That’s what this whole show is really all about and how it ended: With Love for Family prevailing.

[bizlybebo]

can you say random words to me. dump hcs or smthn idk i like yr posts /nf

YEAAAH HIII OFC !!! THIS IS A HUGE COMPLIMENT ^__^ i’m so predictable it’s mostly dakota thoughts right now </3 but i am THINKING about thsi stuoid fucking podcast prime defenders hyperfixation has me in its evil grasp

currently on the second half of my s2 ep 36 rewatch and. gah.

thinking about how grizzly said (paraphrased) “dakota’s not scared of anything anymore. not bears, not— the only thing that he fears now is the horrors from the trickster’s mouth”.

thinking about how he couldn’t even bring himself to hurt the trickster because behind all that distortion and fear it still looked like ashe. like i’ve been saying it so much today but the trickster is sooo fucking terrifying it’s not even funny.

also brainrotting post-canon demonkicks soo bad lately. thinking about dakota “accidentally” leaving his flannels in ashe’s dorm so he has excuses to come visit again. literally ashe gives him back one of his flannels and another two appear.

ALSO still thinking about my “william and dakota are dogs, vyncent and ashe are cats” post and the addition to it and i’m. still ouuuguguhh over it. haven’t yet been able to rewatch the greyscale arc but i’m seriously trying to hype myself up to do it because man i keep thinking about william’s family/childhood. i keep thinking about “i guess deadwood feels like going crazy”, or david keeping apple juice in his office for william, or william seeing his hometown haunted to a further extent. i keep thinking about him being paranoid after greyscale arc and constantly convinced somebody Knows what he’s done.

and while we’re at it i’m thinking a lot about suntrip lately. doomed yuri </3

thinking about summer, who’s body is constantly changing and warping and it’s unfamiliar and scary to her. and i’m thinking about jade, who despite all her teasing of everybody else, loves summer for her determination and her attitude and her personality and how smart she is.

i’m also thinking about doug if i’m being so real. doug jrwi did shitty things but i love him so much and i seriously think he deserves/deserved sooo much better. like c’mon. he was only 17-18. the overlord’s entire syndicate was breathing down his neck. he was an asshole but i love him he means the world to me. thinking about him saying “sup losers” when he sees pd in deadwood again. thinking about him laughing when william(?) slides a can of monster energy over to him in s2 ep19. like it’s small details like that but come ONN. it’s not quite forgiveness but it’s allyship and it’s understanding. thinking about his redemption and character growth. thinkingggg about his friendship with summer and how she didn’t give up on him when he had probably given up on himself. thinking about the shared guilt they have. thinkinggggg. doug jrwi they could never make me hate you <3

also transfem professor cross ^__^ also vyncent collects shiny things (mostly gold) and he’s so proud of his collection. he stole lightspeeds watch one time before he understood how important those things were. also i tjink ashe winters deserves a gun

[aenslem]

Hi ❤️ I haven't gotten into star trek yet but I'm really curious because of your gifs, what's the situation with that young/rush pairing? 👀 They always look like they're trying really hard not to make out lol

Hi anon! I was heading for a bed right now, but this ask appeared and it made me giggle <3 yeah, they do look like that

Just to point out one thing, Young and Rush are from Stargate franchise, mainly Stargate Universe tv series, star trek is a whole different story, with its own characters who always look like they're trying really hard not to make out lol

If you have not seen star trek, go watch. If you have not seen stargate? do the same lol those are like magnum opuses of sci fi television, you won't be disappointed, but I suggest to watch sg1 first to know wtf is happening in stargate universe sometimes

I won't lie, stargate universe is not an easy to watch show, it's quite fucked up, sometimes boring, sometimes cool and interesting, as any other show, but as I said, you have to accept the fact that it's a mess of a show, the illogical behavior of characters, etc, and you will really enjoy it. Well, I enjoy rewatching it cos I found two disaster men having chemistry on screen fun and I want them either kill or fuck each other. My fun time includes imagining them in the worst bdsm relationship that you can come up with... yeah i said that

Anyway, my gifs did that before, made some people believe the ship exists, like madam spellman or swan queen, but those who trusted my gifs were disappointed that those were not canon <3 So nope, nothing even close to making out there T-T unfortunately, because I would pay to watch it

however

they do get close, very close sometimes

you will get killing part from kill or fuck, yay <3 they are the worst, like these characters have more or less normal relationship with everybody else on the ship, well, at least one of them, the other is hated by entire universe and yet he does not have anything even close to what these two have with each other with anybodyelse, whatever it is, nobody gets under their skin as one another, I know I am seeing what I wanna see, but they do look so obsessed with one another

they feel like those people who will do something out of spite just to annoy the other one

their "relationship" is a wild ride, you go from suspicious people who are forced to work with each other to actual attempts of murder

you just put two wild animals in closed space and watch them rip each other's throats and that's young and rush and you watch them fight with each other cos they don't know how to communicate with each other any other way

but they are also sad, very sad, pathetic men and you will enjoy watching them suffer and you will want to give them a hug and a blanket but they will probably fuck it up too and fight for our entertainment, but it gets better by the end and then the show was cancelled so that's it

[slythereen]

also off the top of my head i’m pretty sure drivers don’t usually clap for each other when they get handed the trophy?? maybe for like super significant podiums but i don’t think it’s usual?? i have a bad memory though so take this with a grain of salt for sure

you 🤝 me

horrendous memory for details

anyway by popular demand (my own) (i am the only one asking for this) i decided to do some investigative journalistic research (rewatched some banger podiums).

my final conclusion: idk they seem to run on vibes. like. it's definitely not a Every Time Absolutely, Have Manners™ type of situation. but at least a little clapping each podium, not necessarily limited to p1. there does not appear to be an upwards trend or anything, chronologically. it seems to vary (though i might say that they do it reflexively if the clapping starts earlier and thus clap more for those podiums... hmmm).

choosing the narrative i want where science has failed me to say max and lewis did it for charlie<3

baku gp 2023

charles interestingly is clapping for max as he walks out

max claps for checo as he walks out; charles fixes his hat and then starts clapping too (i get you charlie)

can't see max and charles for the first part of checo's trophy, but they are not clapping for the end of it (and charles is fixing his bracelet so i don't think he was before)

neither max nor charles clap for the medal

all three clap for the rbr mechanic (charles joins a lil late but it's okay that's not his team... yet)

can't see charles and checo for the trophy lift, but by the time you see them when max sets his down they are not clapping (there is a slight tiny smidge of movement to the left as he is handed it that makes me think checo claps. but not firm enough evidence)

you can only see checo for charles' trophy and he is clapping animatedly (as is the rbr mechanic)

conclusion: errrr... they clap when they remember to. rbr mechanic domination. also, checo is kind of a sweetheart with his animated clapping on podiums thus far.* (*this says thus far bc i actually watched out of order)

austria gp 2023

max, checo, and the rbr mechanic clap after the anthem, charles does not (he's busy fixing his hat okay it's important) (this isn't part of my stats i just thought it was funny)

charles and checo clap when max lifts the trophy (you can see checo clapping at the end of the shot. charles is out of frame BUT you can see his arm/elbow moving as he claps presumably so i'm taking it)

checo claps for the medal; charles does not

you can't see the drivers for the rbr mechanic's trophy (except checo at the end, clapping)

you can't see the drivers for charles' trophy

you can't see the drivers until checo is putting his trophy down, they are not clapping then but they might have already stopped. counting it as a negative bc of the hands on the hips / no evidence to support a positive (the rbr mechanic is still clapping at this point)

conclusion: p1 gets some claps?

belgium gp 2023

can't quite see charles when checo initially walks out, but by the time he is in his spot charles is not clapping / is fixing his hat (i sense a theme, charlie)

checo and charles both clap for max walking out

all three clap for the anthem

charles claps for max's trophy lift (checo is shaking hands with the presenter but also does not start clapping for the end of it)

can't see charles for the medal; checo does not appear to clap but is busy leaning in to tease max about something

max claps for the rbr mechanic (can't see charles and checo for the whole time but they weren't at the start/end)

max claps for checo's trophy (can't see charles until very end, movements too ambiguous to guess if he was or not) (rbr mechanic claps too)

max claps for charles' trophy (can't see checo)

conclusion: max emilian is something of a consistent clapper. lestappen consistently clap for one another (not enough data on checo, so they might all three be on par with one another).

mexico gp 2023

charles and lewis do not initially clap for max getting the trophy, but do after the handshakes with the presenter / when he lifts it (no claps for the medal)

charles and max clap for the rbr mechanic lifting the trophy after the handshakes

i can't tell for lewis - f1 rudely cut to toto clapping like a proud dad so didn't see max or charles for the trophy 🤨

max starts clapping for charles before the presenter even hands him the trophy. casual.

we know lewis started clapping fairly quickly too from the side angle video but he wasn't in frame for the f1tv broadcast

conclusion: more or less clapping at least 66% of the time.

for some comparative analysis...

monza gp 2023 (tears in my eyes)

no one claps for the walk outs

checo and carlos both clap for max's trophy lift

no one claps for the medal

can't see the drivers for checo's trophy

max claps for carlos; checo joins in belatedly

(i forgot how awkward it is that carlos had to hype the crowd... at monza)

singapore gp 2023 (i'm suffering for the people)

lewis doesn't clap on lando's walkout

it looks like lando clapped a bit for carlos' walkout

lewis and lando clap for carlos' trophy (lando joins a little late)

lando claps for the medal

lando and lewis clap for fred (carlos is doing something with the trophy it looks like)

lewis claps for lando... carlos doesn't (🤨)

can't see the drivers for lewis' trophy lift but it looks like carlos gave a clap or two at the end

(oh carlos hyped the crowd in singapore too... maybe that's just his thing)

conclusion: sir lewis hamilton is a gentleman. lando is also a consistent clapper. carlos is roughly 50%. not really a super strong correlation between p1 and guaranteed claps.

[tansyuduri]

Merlin Loregasm Rewatch S1E7

Hi Everyone! Welcome to my rewatch of Merlin focusing on the lore. I am a giant nerd so pretty excited about this. We’re on THE GATES OF AVALON

Okay so them being atacked in the forest and Arthur not batting an eyelid means that this can happen fairly often and is not that strange. Uther claims he saved Camalot from anarchy and I expect he did in most villages but the roads and wilderness are not always safe. (Good news for fanfiction writers.) This is the first time we see this is the case I believe when it's not a magical attacking issue. HOWEVER Arthur and Merlin still go out alone a great deal.

Tir Mawr legit just means "Large Land" in Welsh.

The wiki assumes that Tirmawr is a land in Avalon. I dunthink so based on Uther seeming to know what it is, and the fact that the name is Welsh while sidhe spells are in old Irish.

Funfact Caerleon was the home of King Arthurs Court in the original Welsh version. Caerleon is now a town and comunity in Newport Wales. In the iron age (pre roman) it was home to a warlike tribe and the center of a wealthy trading network. It later became a Roman Port. In the 5th century (relatively around Merlin times) it became part of the new kingdom of Gwent.

What trouble? Does he mean her visions? It could be because he reminds her not to tell Uther about it. But if she did with previous dreams you would think Uther would have jumped on it one way or another. I think he means somthing else by how Morgana reacts. I bet she was a huge prankster as a child or kept doing non girly things and trying to learn fighting, or pushing limits. and since "Morgana can do no wrong" in Uthers eyes he looked for someone else to blame. (I may be slightly biased here since it fits my headcannons about young Morgana just a headsup.)

EYYYY First sidhe staff blast and first appearance of eyes turning red during sidhe magic! Sadly we don't see the blast on screen and just hear it.

Arthur: Well I'm supposed to be on Patrol with the guard and my father this morning.

Ok! So part of Arthur's duties seem to be going on patrol with the guard and Uther. This is probably a fairly normal thing. But I expect its happening right now more due to the fact some nobles were attacked in the woods recently.

Urged to tell Uther about her vision of Arthur drowning (More on this later) this is how Morgana reacts. Later Gaius tells merlin the Seer's Art is separate from magic but close to it. But I think Morgana just thinks of it as magic because Gaius never tells her anything. I mean she does have other magic, but at this point she doesn't know it.

Merlin confirms these are indeed tomatoes in an earlier line. Which means Camalot has tomatos, I have my wizard theory but my freind @catsconflictscopicsandchamomile And I talked about another theory she has. About Perhaps the Vikings in the Merlin world formed a bit earlier, and reaching more into America and starting a bit of a trade network. That these American crops were indeed grown in Briton BUT were gone by the time of the Norman conquest because the soil was not right for them.

I further propose that perhaps the volcanic winter of 536 and the subsequent late Antique little Ice Age (which lasted from then to 660) could have killed them. The battle of Camlan was supposed to take place in 537. However in this chronicle Arthur is pretty old then, while Arthur dies young in Merlin perhaps setting the battle back a bit in this timeline, Or even if it is not. It would have taken place at just the beginning of the late antique little ice age.

Okay first attempt to enchant Arthur its clearly starting to work but his eyes are not at all red yet. It gets broken off by a bandit atack and when he wants to go home she doesn't try again. It's possible Sophia is not the most powerful of sidhe and needs her victim's guard to be down.

Merlin: (About being put in the stocks) Honestly it wasnt my fault. Arthur wanted to get out of going on a patrol with Uther and the guard. so I covered for him and took the blame.

Gaius: And Arthur was prepared to let you do this?

Merlin: it was his idea!

Gaius: what made him neglact his duties? it must have been somthing terrably important

Merlin: Sophia

Gaius: The girl from the forrest

Merlin: He wanted to take her out for the day. he is besotted!

I find this conversation really interesting partly because it implies Sophia was working to enchant him before the first scene we see in the woods. That Sidhe enchanting the mind and making someone not act like themselves might be a long slow process. Gaius is surprised Arthur let Merlin take the fall because it is very out of character. And it is. We see Arthur take the blame for Merlin at times. And he never asks Merlin to take the fall for him EXECPT In these episodes when enchanted by the sidhe. Hell he doesn't do it when enchanted to fall in love with Lady Vivian, or when really in love with Gwen!

This furthers the idea I mentioned above.

Second eye reddening! This one had so magic he's just angry!

First look at what Sidhe think of humans. Also Arthur is neither weak or feeble so it implies Sidhe might have increased strength. Or she's just referring to him being mortal.

Okay so either Morgana has been jealous of other women Arthur has fallen for. OR Arthur has chalked up previous incidents to Morgana being jealous. I wonder how many times they might have crushed on the same woman growing up, or what else happened. Did she like see Arthur breaking an arm and be like "HEY bro! Don't try to impress the new girl that way!" Arthur all "hahaha you are jealous Morgana! *Falls and breaks arm* or was she actually jealous!?

Reasons why I think Arthur needed Gaius to dress him in season 5 is a practical joke.

Also Arthur asks merlin to cover for him again despite him being in the stocks. However he tells merlin to make sure he doesnt end up in the stocks. This is another sign of the enchanting being gradual. Weird music plays when he talks about Sofia as well. DID I MENTION GRADUAL? ALSO Merlin mentions potatoes thrown at him MORE AMERCIAN CROPS

She starts incanting and Arthur asks what are you doing. I think it's interesting. I mean he could chalk it up to her speaking in another language but when she continued without telling him he just stares. Either this is due to the GRADUAL enchantment or Arthur doesn't know enough about magic to clock it's what she is doing

When the enchantment finishes Her eyes glow red and then so do Arthurs. They don't stay red all the time but we now know he is udner the enchantment. So let's pay attention to WHEN his eyes glow red from now on.

Gaius: What do you know about seers?

Merlin: Not much, They're supposed to be able to see the future like Prophets

Gaius: it's said to be an innate ability. Those who have it are born that way. Some aren't even aware what they see is the future. It comes to them in their dreams Merlin: what's that got to do with Sophia Gaius: The night before she and Aulfric came to camalot, Morgana had a dream. Sophia was in it

Merlin: Before she arived in camalot?

Gaius: I've been watching Morgana since she was very young. And though I've tried to Persuade myself otherwise, I realized some of the things she said she dreamt came to pass. I kept it secret from uther of course, The gift of prophecy is to close to the work of magic

Merlin: you think Morgana is a seer?"

Gaius: I don't think it I fear it.

Okay so! Apparently a prophet and a seer are two diferant things. Prophets are never mentioned again but I think there are two possibilities both of which kinda mix Since seers are inate and born with the gift. It's possible that Prophets are people who gain the ability later in life. OR perhaps they are magic users who gain the ability to see with tools (Like Merlin does)

I think Gaius mentioning being afraid of it and trying to persuade himself otherwise is intersting. I think IF the theory that gaius actually kinda agreed with Uthers viewpoint about magic because he saw so many bad things happen is true, this might have been his turning point. He saw Morgana who he took care of being a seer and decided not to tell Uther. It also fits a lot with what we know about Gaius even if that theory is not the case. If he cares about someone with magic he will keep their secret. (or perhaps if he knows them as good).

Sophia: Our love is strong you feel the same way too

Arthur: I'd never let that happen

Sophia: you may not have the choice. There are some here who don't want us to be together. I'd never let them come between us

Arthur: I'd never let them come between us

Sophia: Because we are in love

Arthur: because we are in lvoe

Sophia: You must seek promission for us to marry so we can be together

Arthur: till death do us part

Sophia: till death do us part

Okay I think its intersting arthurs eyes are not glowing here, we know that when he wakes from the spell that he is appalled "WHAT WAS I THINKING" But they are also alone here. If Sophia was keeping his eyes from being red in the later marriage asking scene to not raise suspicion, he does not have to here? So when do eyes glow red. I think its when what is being done is VERY against what the person would normally do and when the spell is being placed. Which means Arthur here is not going fully against his normal behavior. If he loved someone he would be willing to throw away other people's objections in the end. He might try to marry someone inapropriate if he loved them. (Cough GWEN COUGH)

His eyes however DO glow red again when she leaves. NOT when she is encanting the spell again. Not when she kisses him Only when she says the last "till death do us part" and leaves I think this is because with her saying that then leaving part of his brain goes "WHOA HOLD ON" and then the sidhe magic is like NOPE you are doing what was asked!

There is more than one sidhe Elder. Later Merlin will kill one of them.

Sidhe being so fast Merlin has to slow time to see them is interesting. I think it is a nod to the fact that in celtic stories of the otherworld a lot of times someone can only stay there three days or three years, If they set foot on the real world again they die or find hundreds of years have passed otherwise because time passes differently in the sidhe world. (Can You tell I did a lot of research on this for a fic?)

I also love the gold clothing they wear and the fact Sophia has a lot of gold in her outfit. I think this is a reference to the Irish version of the Celtic otherworld which is said to have a lot in the way of precious metals in their architecture (CAN YOU TELL I DID A LOT OF RESEARCH ON THIS FOR A FIC?)

Those lights in the water do not move as they sidhe do, they are a reflection of what is in Avalon not what is in our world. Avalon is lit with pretty blue crystals I'm calling it!

Aufric: I promise you the soul of the greatest prince of all, Arthur Pendragon. Even the Sidhe are like you know this Arthur guy? Pretty rad not gonna lie. Either that or they are measuring greatest by fighting skill.. or care for their people or something. WHAT IS THE MEASUREMENT HERE.

Gaius: Avalon-what you saw at the lake, It's Avalon, it must be

Merlin: Whats-

Gaius: the Land of Eternal Youth. Mortals are only supposed to glimse it in the moment before death.

Merlin: I've seen it and I'm still ehre

Gaius: extradenary what did it look like

Merlin: Does it matter they are going to sacrifice Arthur! This fits best with the Irish version of the Celtic otherword in which it is not actually the place where dead people go but a paradise, with yes Eternal youth

(CAN YOU TELL I DID A LOT OF RESEARCH ON THIS FOR A FIC?)

Gaius: I found writing like this at the top of Alfrics's staff Its Ogham an anciant script "to hold life and death in your hands" From the writing on his staff and what you saw at the lake. I'm afraid I'm not certain. We're dealing with the sidhe

Merlin: that does not sound like a good thing

Gaius: They're masters of enchantment Merlin: you think Arthur's been enchanted? Gaius: Almost Certainly

Ok Ogham is an anciant script. It was used in Irland and parts of the UK beween the 5th and 9th centuries. So we have YET ANOTHER possible Irish conection. Also to hold life and death in your hands sounds a lot like the magic over life and death we see later!

This happens when Arthur tells the king hes gonna marry Sophia no matter what Uther says. Uther threatens and his and mentions executing them Arthur backtracks and he lets them go.

BUT SERIOUSLY WHOA Either Tirmawr, is REALLY not an important land. Or Uther does something really stupid here, Or he has absolute power on an insane level

See arresting nobles that are not from your land usually leads to war if you are not doing it while at war. If it's your own nobles you better have a good reason or the other nobles are NOT going to be happy. This kind of thing did happen with excuses in places where power was nearly absolute. But almost always with excuses about them being traitors or breaking laws ETC. The entire court can see Uther arresting them just to make a point. HE EVEN THREATENED TO EXECUTE THEM WTF UTHER!

Arthur: (packing) Get out

Merlin: I thought the king was a bit harsh

Arthur: I don't need sympathy Merlin, Especially not from you

Merlin: But I did think he had a point

Arthur: I ordered you to get out now leave me

Merlin: I know what you think youa re doing, and I know you think you are in lvoe with Sophia Arthur: Who Are you to tell me what I'm thinking!"

Merlin: I'm your freind

Arthur: No merlin you're my servant

Merlin: you don't know what you're doing. Shes cast a spell on you you're enchanted

This conversation is interesting because his eyes are not red, Some of these things are things he might say but NOT in the tone he uses and some of them seem OOC But his eyes are not red, so either the fact that they are close to things he might say in a diferant tone, Or they might be things he might have said to a typical servant at this stage in his development, might be causing this. I'm inclined to thing its the first one. Or perhaps my way of judging when eyes turn red is wrong.

Sophia: I told you people would try to keep us appart

Arthur: I won't let that happen

Merlin: Don't listen to her shes controling you

Sophia: we can elope together get away from this place these people Merlin: I saw you. I followed him they're planing to sacrifice you

Alfric: you let your servants speak to your guests this way

Merlin: I know what you're going to do because I followed you to the lake and I heard everything

Merlin: (turning to arthur) You have to belive me!

Sophia: Don;'t listen to him Arthur. Let's go, LEts leave tonight

Merlin: Shes going to kill you, Sophia plants to sacrifice you to buy a life of importality. if you go with her You'll die

Arthur: (Confused) "It doesnt make sence we're in love

Merlin: they're magical being look at the writing on the staff *tries to grab alfrics staff)

Alfric: (Tries to pull it away eyes growing red )

Merlin (speaking as Arthur is turned away from us) Look at his eyes look at them, Do you belive me now, I love this bit. It seems to support my theory. Arthur almost breaks out of it because he trusts Merlin and then the red eye comes back because it's against Arthur's nature not to trust Merlin. Also Merlin gets sidhe blasted making our Merlin death count reach two!

Arthur was underwater for 1 minite 36 seconds If Arthur was unconscious when he hit the water (And I think he should be considered such) he was likely fine, did not get water in his lungs much at all, and started breathing on his own after getting out of the water If he was awake he would likely NOT have fallen unconscious in that amount of time.