#always trust your instincts
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Multiple times the last week:
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something happening on a mission, something personal that has soap spiralling; panic and rage making him reckless, thoughtless, and ghost has to draw the line
“you’re compromised johnny; you know what that means?”
“you’re not pulling me out,” soap immediately snarls. he turns on him and ghost barely recognises him; venomous fear turning his eyes to unyielding ice. "you're not sidelining me; i need to be in this-!"
but ghost has never been afraid of venom; spat or dripped straight from bared fangs.
he snakes out a hand grip the back of his neck, jerking him in a rough shake. "if you can't think, you can't be a soldier," he growls and he flinches like he's been struck.
his lips quiver as they twist in a sneer and he wrenches, trying to free himself of his hold.
ghost doesn't let him.
"it means you give your body to me because your head ain't fucking attached to it anymore."
soap stills, body trembling beneath his hand as he sucks in shaking breaths.
he tightens his grip, pulling him closer and digs his forehead hard into his. “it means you give yourself to me so i can have the weapon that you are and use you the way you're meant to be used."
the ice in soap's eyes fractures.
ghost’s voice drops to a whisper, spoken only to johnny, not this facade of vengeance and pain, and wills it to reach him through the glaciers.
“so i can keep you safe ‘til it’s done and i can bring you back.”
#in my head its bc graves abducts his sister and is using her as hostage to draw him out knowing ghost will always follow him#but the intensity and intimacy of saying ‘you cant trust your mind not to betray you so let me be in charge of your body until you can’#after what happened to tommy he could never deny johnny his right to save his sister#but its bc of what happened to tommy that he knows he cant let him do it alone with only his rage to guide him#hes more likely to get himself killed and ghost wont live through that#so he has to balance it#and the only way he knows how is to completely shut down soap’s mind until hes no more than instinct and muscle memory#if he cant think practically then dont let him think at all#reduce him to a place where he can only follow orders#and when its finally over and his sister is safe and graves is dead#only then will he drag johnny back up to the surface#he’ll do it even if it means dragging him kicking and screaming back to humanity#instead of letting him sink in the depths where nothing hurts. theres no fear down there. no pain. only order#and thats the risk ghost took sending johnny to that place but he only did it bc he would stop at nothing to bring him back#and help him through the after#the breakdown. the rush of panic and rage and relief and anguish johnnys been supressing on his order#it was his word that turned johnny into a ghost#and its his touch that brings him back to the man#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghost x soap#ghoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ
link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀
#doctor who#tenth doctor#martha jones#david tennant#freema agyeman#(good god. without even meaning to I went into 'psycho stream of consciousness tagging' mode. whoops)#always thinking of that one post#where OP mentions how the writing tries to make it seem like Ten looked right through Martha/etc#which is a good concept for demonstrating his grief. but also isnt what we really see throughout S3#(not saying he wasn't a grieving MESS because he was. but he's a multi-faceted character and he can grieve AND value Martha simultaneously)#but we see such fierce protective instinct+trust; a bond between them that obviously isn't some one-sided affair#+ his clear intent to impress her/be admired and respected by her (apropos the post that inspired this sentiment)#but RTD obviously isn't the most infallible of writers#*cough* [list of reasons I cut down b/c long] *cough*#He can make Martha say “he's not seeing me/he doesn't look at me” but then you just watch with your eyes and you get a different story#It's like the opposite of when Moffat tries to make you believe someone is super important through bold claims without showing his work#instead RTD tries to make you believe Ten is functionally blind to Martha's existence while showing numerous examples of the contrary#then bring in the novels+myspace blog+cartoon that he all signed off on. Which tie together to create a canon backdrop#basically I said all of that to say this—#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—#Ten not only SAW Martha—he trusted+respected+enjoyed+adored her. And it's a good thing#it doesn't cheapen his grief. I feel like people must think it does which is why I constantly see bad unnecessary takes about them#it just means that Martha was SO important to him and it's ok. they had a killer friendship outside the unrequited minutiae and it's ok#there's even a comic where 'someone' makes him believe she's Martha and he makes her change her appearance because “it's still too raw”#Just saying you don't say that sort of thing about someone whose existence you're all blasé about#Martha already gets fucked by the narrative in enough ways without people totally missing her significance in the Doctor's life#you don't have to ship them to appreciate them on a deeper level#anyway. fuck. if you actually read all of these then I'm so sorry#creating this blog has taught me that there are only like two people who feel the same way about tenmartha matters and it’s fine 😂#but if I didn’t give myself an outlet it would probably form a tumor SO there we are then
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‘The only lies for which we are truly punished are those we tell to ourselves’
- V.S Naipaul
#feelings#life stuff#thoughts 💭#relationship#love#mine#friendship#vent#life quotes#love quotes#quotes#relationship quotes#friendship quotes#self love#trust your gut always#gut instincts are just 🤝🏽#literature#happy#good vibes#coping#motivational#lit#relatable
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Y'all 😭 i joined this mentorship program for my academics and then we've been added to different study spaces where we can chat with our fellow batchmates BUT NO ONE THERE USES TONE TAGS AND SO NEITHER CAN I I'M SOBBING 😭 ITS SO SKKSKWOSISHBSN UEUEUUEUEUEUUE SUFFOCATING 😭😭
#The amount of times I've typed out a tone tag on Instinct and had to delete it#BECAUSE THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT AUDIENCE FOR THAT#and I'm always walking on thin ice because I DON'T TRUST YOUR HUMOR Y'ALL#WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO FIGURE THAT WAS A LIGHT HEARTED THING THAT I SAID#OR THAT WAS SARCASM#OR THE OTHER ONE WAS A JOKE#chatter#SOBBING T^T
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And now, for the results:
Apart from just over a third of you (which I am skeptical of your honesty), it seems everyone has some kind of computer issues. At least at some point.
So, why was I asking about this? Here is your answer.
These results are exactly why I am strongly resistant to self-driving cars being unleashed on the world!
Self-driving cars are entirely computer controlled. For them to be safe, those computers need to be infallible. Yet, as far as I know, there has never been a computer in existence that didn't have occasional problems, glitches, or even crash entirely. Especially not with long-term use.
Even if the software is perfectly written and coded, hardware wears out. Sensors get weak and die. Cameras get damaged. Storage and memory can only be accessed, read, and written on the various sectors of the drives so many times before they become corrupted. So the cars, or at least their components, would need regular replacement and upgrades to continue functioning properly. Which would hopefully be done in advance of the failure (at an expensive cost), and not after something goes horribly wrong.
Not to mention, as with every computer, phone, or almost any electronic device, whenever software is upgraded, it increases the possibility of "bugs" or conflicts in the code. It has happened numerous times that various companies have pushed out an OS update and ended up "bricking" devices and rendering them useless. At least when it's just an Xbox or cellphone, there is minimal risk of someone ending up badly injured or killed in a crash.
As a side-note, I don't only feel this way only about self-driving cars. I also have this feeling about our increasing dependence on the "safety features" that are constantly being added to newer "regular" cars each year. That automatic braking feature you rely on to prevent you from rear ending someone or backing out in to moving cross traffic, it will fail eventually and you will crash. Unless you are paying attention and maintaining full control of your car yourself. You know, the traditional, old school way of driving.
This is basically a long-winded way of saying I believe we have an extremely long way to go before I will ever trust anything other than an attentive person behind the wheel of any vehicle.
#personal#mine#self driving cars#I do not want them#I actually enjoy driving#I just hate traffic#poll results#survey results#technology is not always your friend#you need to trust your own instincts and training more than any computer
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I had the scariest experience today.
I woke up to this horrible smell wafting into my room. It smelled like sewage or rotten eggs. There are no gas lines in the building, so I knew it wasn't a gas leak. I thought maybe a pipe backed up and that our bathroom or kitchen was flooded again (which has happened more than once). But when I got up to check, there was no water anywhere, and the smell was really strong in the living room. It wasn't the sink or the trash, but I emptied all the trash, cleaned the garbage disposal anyway just to be sure. I went out for coffee, came back, and it was still really strong. I thought maybe the neighbors might have had a leak, so I talked to all of them -- nothing. Absolutely nothing. No pipe issues, or weird smells. I thought, oh god -- something died in the vent. Checked the vent. Nope. Nothing. Whatever. I open all the doors and it helps, but doesn't get rid of it completely. I go out again, come back, and it's horrendous. I cannot for the life of me fathom what it could be.
I sniff around. I have a very keen sense of smell. I'm sniffing all around my apartment, like some weird looking anteater. I double check the kitchen. Nothing. The dining room. Nothing. The vent. Nope. But in between the kitchen and the dining room -- in the living room, there's a place where we keep the vacuum, the swiffer, my mom's unused power chair. It's really strong right there. I empty the vacuum, thinking I sucked something up the other day. NOTHING!!!!
I'm on my hands and knees, looking underneath the power chair, thinking maybe something rolled underneath -- it's suddenly really strong. And I feel heat coming off of the motor, even though it's not turned on. It turns out the battery to the chair got too hot and was overheating, and would have caused an electrical fire. I unplugged it immediately, and sure enough the smell was gone. It probably would have caught fire in the night and we wouldn't have known, as we were going to wait for tomorrow to call the building plumber.
PSA if you have a weird smell you can't identify that smells like sewage or fish, you might have an electrical issue.
#my super sniffer has saved my life more than once#always trust your instincts!#dont wait if you know something's off!
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"You were so right to distance yourself from that group of people !"
Thanks for the ego boost. I did it with the help of my coping mechanisms, my trauma responses and the ability to over-analyse everything until it makes sense.
Now, spill the tea. What happened, in great details.
#I LOVE IT WHEN THEY ADMIT I WAS RIGHT#TRUST MY INSTINCTS GUYS I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING#(i don't)#when it comes to people i always have my reasons#and damn it they're very good reasons#i didn't notice how much i needed this validation until i received it#like 'ah yes you were right from the beginning your opinion is valuable' OH MY GOSH BESTIE THANK YOU I LOVE YOU#i won against the hesitation and the nostalgia i'm gonna celebrate it right now guys i was RIGHT and they ADMITED IT#it's so comforting to know i'm right when it comes to the people i can trust#sometimes i'm wrong yeah but most of the time i can trust myself and it's good news#but also i love to hear their dramas i need all the details without getting involved lmao#they're so stupid and toxic it's fun to watch them destroy themselves <3#toxic people#toxicity#toxic relationship#toxic friends#toxic frienship#whispers from atlantis#bestie's trinkets box
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Take it from someone who can read up to 3-4 books (on top of the fics) a week and usually average at 2 books every week, when people tell you to read stuff you enjoy if you want to read more, well it's true
For the past month i've been reading only one book, the third in a trilogy that i had liked pretty ok so far. Not my usual jam, but the first two books had managed to make me care enough about how the plot would end that i wanted to read it all myself instead of just looking it up. But then the third book... Was good, like it is a very good trilogy, just, like i said, not my jam and didn't manage to engage me as much as the previous two.
Had it been the first book of the trilogy, i would have dropped it. But after about 1800 pages already read in the whole trilogy (last book alone was ~800 pages), well, you know I was invested and it was a matter of pride
But that also had as a result that for the past month i have barely read anything but that book and some days i would just not read anything (in terms of book, fanfic is a different beast) because i was just not really enjoying myself
Could i have been reading other books at the same time? For sure. At any given time i have about 5-6 books on my 'is technically currently reading' pile
But i knew if i was gonna read those books, then i would never finish the 800 pages book and i didn't want to not finish it.
Anyway all this to say that yes- finding books you enjoy is actually one of the best way to make sure you'll read more. It took me about a month to 800 pages. When the rest of tje year, i averaged about 1000/1200 pages a week. And its not because i didn't want to read. I wanted to. I even had a bunch of mangas on my desk i was planning to read, but i wouldnt even touch those because i was just turn off.
And i finally finished the book tonight and the sheer relief to know that tomorrow i can finally read a book i will thoroughly enjoy. Unbelievable.
And like, i did that to myself. Im not mad i powered through finishing the book. Mostly because i'm a big reader and i always find more books i want to read and like a month delay won't really change much on that front.
But yeah. My good peeps. The thing you choose to read do matter. And also if you're not vibing with a book, for any reason, you're never obligated to finish it. I will finish reading maybe 1 out of 3 books i pick up. And you don't have to justify why you put down a book. I've picked up books that seemed to be right up my alley open it on the first page, read one (1) word and then went 'nah' and returned it to the public library without losing sleep about it. And no that is not an exaggeration, sometime, a word is all you need.
And also, it doesn't matter what you actually like to read. 70% of what i read is queer romance because that's what i enjoy. The rest is mostly horror or sci-fi. But if all you enjoy is YA? Go for it. Or even children's books, who cares? I reread children's series from my childhood for nostalgia at least once a year and i'm always having a blast
So yeah this is just me rejoicing that i am finally done with that fucking book and also just encouraging you my good peeps to drop a book you're not enjoying if you're reading for fun
#reading#books#again#i wanna say the book i will not name because this is not a review#the book was GOOD#it just wasn't my jam#and like sometimes i pick up book that aren't my usual jam#and ends up pleasantly surprised#that was what happened with the first two books of the series actually#i'm always open to trying reading something new#but also trust your instinct#if you don't think its worth it to continue reading?#then don't#your free time is better spent doing something you actually enjoy
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at what point could you fall asleep to hushed giggles and quiet conversations instead of the usual silence?
(was it when you began to trust them?)
#eca orichird#daily eca#and vaguely#scarlet rose#stickers calvin#i always draw eca awake while the other two are asleep but i dont usually do it the other way around#its nice to think about when eca first accidentally falls asleep around them. hes so used to not trusting others and keeping his guard up#he's always used to waking up in an instant if something makes a sudden sound. he needs to stay alert because hes only got himself.#and at some point subconsciously his brain goes ''oh; chill; that's just stickers and scarlet. you can sleep. you're safe with them.''#he wakes up and berates himself silently. ''idiot. these two are making you go soft. forgetting all your survival instincts.''#but scarlet and stickers smile like the morning sun and tell him hello and oh did you have a good nap and he sighs.#it'll inevitably happen again. (is that so bad?)
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every time i have a concert i never believe it’s gonna happen till it actually happens, cause there’s always so much that can go wrong but this week i really wasn’t that hype that it was gonna happen and low and behold they postponed 😞
#always trust your instincts :(#and i picked hershey over philly cause i didn’t wanna do two back to back#and hersheys the easier drive#like genuinely if it was a couple of days in between i WOULD have done both#and now i feel like i missed out on philly and i should have followed instincts to do both :(#green day
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ahem, vampire chi would be so cute 😵💫
#vampire au#she’d tug at your sleeve and ask to go somewhere private and secluded#be like: i’m thirsty can we- can we please go somewhere with no one else around?#and she'd prefer to sit on your lap while sinking her teeth into your neck#she'd love it if you held her by the waist too while feeding on you#it'd make her feel safe and assured that she’s allowed to let go of her instincts - that she's allowed to even do this at all#she'd always be surpressing her instincts otherwise bc well she's a good girl after all#but i think she'd only be like that with someone she can trust 100% and wouldn't judge her bc she'd be too shy to even ask at first#they'd have to insist it's okay for her to take away their blood and also show her how to be comfortable while drinking
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you ever think about how people so commonly use the concept of ‘vibes’ to mean they’re stereotyping others
#like i get it i do it too. but i think maybe we should all try to be more conscious of exactly why someone strikes us a certain way#just try to come up with a list of solid reasons to distrust them before writing them off as corrupt. just get hard evidence#i’m not saying ‘trust your gut instinct’ is always bad and discriminatory advice#but like. sometimes it is i guess is what i’m saying?#‘yeah the vibes were off’ (person is innocent and just not accustomed to a certain set of social and cultural behaviors)#peach rambles
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me, attempting to write a pregnant character: I wonder what symptoms she'd be experiencing at around six months. I should look it up.
every goddamn fucking pregnancy and motherhood page in the entire world: You GOT this, you girlboss, you! You're going to be one 🎀badass mama llama!!🎀 If you don't follow every item on this 450-page list, your baby will hate you forever!!! But you totes got it, GURL!💕🤪⭐️ Have that 🌺unassisted home birth!!!🌺 Never EVER use painkillers or your baby will 🌷hate🌷 you because of the 💐toxins💐 😘 Breast is best!!! $85 designer pajamas your baby will only fit for 2 months are best!!!!!!!! Medicine = chemicals = you're a bad parent 💖🤗 Here's a downloadable PDF about everything you're doing wrong, mama! Isn't motherhood such a 🌸blessing🌸, mama? If you don't sacrifice your entire identity to motherhood, your Kaymbreigh and Braylynne will hate you FORVER 😚💋💏 BUT YOU GO GIRL, MAKE THAT BABY!!!! 💖💕💓💞💝
#seriously it's so obnoxious#every other page for every other health-related question is like hi. here's some basic info#but pregnancy? hoooo boy#everything is weirdly judgmental and crunchy but written with this overly supportive girlboss tone#it'll be like “if you ever so much as THOUGHT about an epidural your baby will murder you. YAY GIRLBOSS GO GIRL YOU GOT IT MAMA BEAR”#i have to wonder how much of it is related to these blogs promoting really anti scientific practices#they're always like YASSS GURL you know more than every doctor#YASSS TRUST THEM MOTHERLY INSTINCTS and don't vaccinate!!!!#they're only supportive because they want to make pregnant women confident enough to reject established science#(and I know there's a whole conversation to be had about different parenting styles and the medicalization of birth and whatever#but this is not that.#it's all garbage about how essential oils are way better than antibiotics and how mental illness is a sham to put chemicals in your body.)
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instead of calling people who you hurt they're too sensitive maybe realise that your personalities are just not compatible?
#like outside of bigotry#ppl think differently about stuff and feel differently about stuff#and ofc people should respect your boundaries but when they can't#i don't see it as “this person is bad”#i see it as “this personality is not compatable with mine”#like sure it's bc they cross my boundaries but often i also dislike their character#and i realise that within minutes of meeting ppl#like some ppl remind me too much of other ppl who hurt me#that it'll always feel like “when is the next shoe going to drop”#and so far they always did end up hurting me so i trust my instincts#i wish i could say i should have just avoided them but sometimes that's out of your control and you just have to find a way to cope
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You won't realize how important you are to a person until you're on the ground.
#deal with devil#gedanken#quotes#thinking#depressing post#realize#always alone#verletzt#you dont understand#trust your instincts#trustyourself
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