#always shows me EXACTLY the shit im upset about

[dragondensystem]

TikTok knows my emotions better than ANYONE

[breezy141]

heart of glass // pedro pascal masterlist

sum: being known in the world of hollywood there had always consequences, especially cheating rumours.

authors note: IM SORRY I DISAPPEARED. college been eatin me uppp

the picture on your phone caused you to rethink almost everything, it was a picture of your husband at a restaurant with another woman, she had her hand placed on his. she was smiling, as was he.

for a moment, you had no idea what you were looking at. before seeing the photo you were crocheting a new top you had seen multiple times on instagram. crocheting was one of your hobbies, when you weren’t working it was your go to. something your husband also loved.

yet when you were sent the photo from your friend, you stopped everything. after physically feeling your stomach drop you had messaged your friend.

‘what is that?’ your hands shook as you typed out the message. ‘it’s all over twitter, i did some digging it’s just some woman, her name is jasmine. i’m so sorry honey’ you didn’t respond.

do you cry? do you message him? do you ask others what they think?

there was so much going through your mind, you got up from the chair you had been cozied up on. making your way to the bedroom.

you zoomed into the photo, looking for any signs of editing. there was none.

here came the tears, they showed no mercy in streaming down your cheeks. you turned off your phone and threw it somewhere on the bed, you began pacing the room.

you never expected your husband, pedro pascal, to ever cheat on you. he’s just not like that. why would he do that? is it my fault? is there something i could have done? these were the questions running through your mind right now.

almost perfectly, the front door opened. you knew exactly who it was so you grabbed the phone and rushed towards the door.

“hey sweethea-” he cut himself off “why are you crying?” he went to hug you but you pushed his arms away.

“what is this?” you asked with a shaky breath, showing him the picture.

he studied the photo, even reading out the caption on the post. “actor pedro pascal seen in a restaurant with a new mysterious woman” he sighed loudly.

you looked at him with red and blurry eyes “tell me what’s going on” you said flatly.

“baby, this picture is from years ago. before i even knew you, if you don’t believe me, look here” he came by your side “see? no facial hair, plus that’s jasmine. i cut her off years ago, for a couple reasons”

the tears stopped but part of you didn’t believe him. he could tell.

“darling, i promise. id never cheat on you, i love you. i don’t need anyone else but you. i swear, this is actually from like what, 2016? i don’t know why its getting brought up now, but this shit happens all the time to people with a large following. it’s just the internet being annoying as always”

you bit your lip as you thought, he’s right. this stuff happens all the time. he loves you to much.

nodding you looked at the ground “i’m sorry” you managed to whimper out “aye, don’t be sorry hermosa, it’s one of them things that we will have to, now, learn how to avoid and address it. it’s not your fault your upset, i understand you and your feelings.”

“can i have a hug?” you whispered, that’s all you wanted to do right now. have his arms wrapped around his body. he let out a soft giggle and immediately pulled you into his arms.

“i’m still sorry though, i should have known pedro. it’s what happens now” you felt him shake his head “no sweetheart, you have every right to feel upset. especially when there’s pictures floating around” you pulled back and wiped your tears with the sleeve of your jumper.

“thank you” you let out a small laugh, what on earth was you thinking? him cheating? never.

“no problemo” he leaned down to kiss your temple “so, what do you say about having take out tonight? my treat” you smiled at him softly.

“as if i’d say no” he let out a small chuckle.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I asked my dad not to be around me on my birthday?

I don’t know if this will get published in time my birthday is in about a week but I need to ask anyway.

I’m about to turn 18 and I hate my father, he ruins absolutely everything. He’s selfish and he’s gross and I hate everything about him. He’s a mean mean old man and I want nothing to do with him.

He lives at home and is married to my mother still and my brother likes him enough but I think he’s vile. He’s never cared for my mental health and I have 18 years worth of issues with him I can’t detail in this ask. It’s fair to say he’s emotionally absent and neglectful and he doesn’t care about me or my brother at all. He’s a bully, a child, a colossal fuck up.

I don’t know if referencing other asks is allowed, but that ask about anon watching a movie with their mother in another room actually reminded me a lot of my own dad in the way that he just doesn’t care about anyone but himself. It was so visceral in its description I wondered if it was actually my dad, but no, I don’t know that anon. I just say this because that feeling of suffocation in the ask is so much more eloquent than I can be at the moment.

I don’t want this piece of shit at my birthday. It’s my day I don’t want him there to ruin it.

But I don’t think im allowed to ask for that? I don’t want to upset my mother. We’re going out for a dinner at a restaurant and we’ll have to drive back with him in the car and he always says something to ruin any dinner ever, whether it’s something violently bigoted or yelling at me and my brother in the car because we’re not doing exactly what he wants. I know he’ll ruin my birthday, I’m absolutely fucking certain. My brothers birthday was awhile ago and dad very openly talked about how much the dinner sucked even though it was my brothers choice.

Its not just dinner, I don’t want him there at all. I don’t want him there when I’m opening presents, when I’m cutting cake, when people are singing me happy birthday. He’s made my life hell and I don’t want him to fucking celebrate with me. Especially not my 18th.

everyone else in my family will show up to my birthday, including extended family who are making the trip down, so it would be very obvious if he wasn’t there and I know it would hurt his feelings. I don’t want to hurt anyone, I’m not doing this to be at all malicious or intentionally harmful, but I literally cannot stand the thought of him being around it makes me sick to the back of my teeth.

WIBTA if I excluded him and asked that he wasn’t allowed to be around on my birthday?

What are these acronyms?

[xoxitgirl]

⊹₊ ⋆ seasons results! ⊹ ࣪ ˖

⟡ part one ⟡

so usually I try to write it down from the day i start and document the results from then but I literally forgot lmaoo so heres it broken down into every couple days/every week! ima keep this method tho ngl because its so useful but this is probably gonna be a long post bc i wanna be as raw as possible w ya’ll.

season one: jdnavsthewrld ⋆𐙚 ₊ ˚ ⊹ ♡

overview

so first and foremost—my season is going to be filled with all of my designs blowing up, making hundreds of dollars a week, improving my relationship with my boyfriend, and getting a new charger. I wrote out everything in detail so that way it was easier for me to understand exactly what I want like shipping out orders and stuff in my new car, taking a trip to NY, collaborating with some designers that I really like + meeting some designers as well, having hella photo shoots, etc! so it starts off with me getting a new car, it’s easier for me to process all of my orders and get yarn/make clothing just because I have a more efficient car.

dec 3-10

this week was full of me reminding myself im living in my season and my whole idea is about my buisness blowing up and a new carr so ngl its already blown up a little cause someone posted my skirt but it slowed down and now its picking back up. one thing that I’m trying to remember is that I’m not going to know how good it is to have a lot of sales unless I know what it’s like to have lower sales like understanding the duality of owning a business that not every single day you’re going to have the most ideal amount of sales, but that time to be creative and breathe will definitely lead you to that outcome in the long run. I made 4 sales this week so its definitely making me feel a little like imposter syndrome like this cant be happening blah blah blah but I quickly redirected my thoughts to, “what happens in my season? my business was meant to blow up, this is what I’m meant to be doing.”

dec 11-18

okay I made 6 more sales, when I started I had 25 now I’m at 35 so I feel hella confident because I’m constantly falling asleep doing SATS. I can literally feel all the excitement and anxiety and nerves that come with an abundance of success. I sold my biggest custom order to a new client, this two piece set and a fur skirt so I’m like damn. its only bigger and better from here. another thing I added was me and my boyfriend are getting better and connecting more and I feel like our relationship is definitely growing in a healthier way. I made around $300 this week from my pieces so I cant even be upset if I wanted to (,:

dec 19-25

so okay new updateee I sold another 3 item set so I made another $100 this week, mind you im writing this the 21st so the week’s not even over yet, and I feel hella confident in my season. I finally finished drafting everything thats happening. im also having a lot of fun maintaining that it’s already mine. I literally spend so much time vaunting. I was meant to be a designer. of course I have sales, im that bitch. people loovee my clothes cause who else is doing it like me? literally nobodyy. this is what gets me to feel more confident too, if you’re not reassuring yourself who is yk? and my relationship is sooo goodd 🥺 like its been so peaceful and my bf has been surprising me with pinterest dates and shit like what is my lifee!!

ima come back and update after my moms bday, I always have a routine for the new year which is expelling all old energy. like cleaning my room, donating clothes, i also sage everything, make new sigils, wash my hair and alll my clothes so yeah lol i have a feeling the new energy will be beautiful.

dec 26-jan 2

okay I’ve been learning how to sew and I’ve been getting really really good at it. like making my own pieces by myself—before I used to have my mom help me, but now I actually know how to sew fr. I wanna show y’all so ill insert some things ive made/been making. ngl tho I think ima give it like a week or so more to really saturate my mind because I been listening to this sub by slade and its really been helping but I gotta focus on consistency! so thats really what im focusing on through the 15th so more updates around then!! my goal is to have more posts and get ready for a mini photoshoot.

jan 3-jan 12

jan 4th.. coming up with designs that are exactly what I envision/things that ive never seen knit or done in this style. made my collab post but skeptical about when I should make my collab collection so well see but I feel like the things im making rn are multimillion dollar designs like I can feel it in my core. also about to clean my car out soon to trade my car in for the charger of my dreams, apparently my parents were looking for chargers for monthsss and didn’t tell me cause they wanted to surprise me.. for reference y’all I literally have a charger sub i made 5 months ago and was so in my head about it but now i feel like my mind is fully saturated. every time I drive, it feels like im already in a new car, I imagine it in the driveway. I already have it in the 4d so its beyond mine in the 3d.

jan 7.. omg so update, I literally cleaned my car out today and I’m trading it in on friday like what the fuck is my lifee I knew it would happen but this was the first time where I realy put my foot down and envisioned myself driving the car literally everywhere. I race ppl like im in a charger already lmaoo the planes were bound to align sooner or later!! ill insert how it looks when it gets here yall we might have to order it but this is the first step in my journey—I get my charger, my design acc blows up, and so forth. (;

okay hi guys I made 2 sales recently and I just got my charger, everything literally feels like it’s falling into place and it’s kind of surreal. I think I’m gonna make a part two for my results because this post is getting helllla long but I GOT A 2023 CHARGER STX and tbh I wanted an R/T but the only one I could get was 2015 so im just hella happy I got a brand new car and it looks EXACTLY HOW I WANT—black rims, spoiler, it looks so mean!!! ugh im in love. peep my noface air freshener from my last car (,: and it only has 10 miles yall… I love using seasons so much

next post coming by valentines day! 💋

itgirl ⊹ ࣪ ˖

[patrocles]

i started hotd but had to stop when criston Beat A Gay Man to Death and then just stuck around making snide comments about rhae i got so confused with the fandom shipping him with alicent did i miss something?? im sorry im not in the fandom i just Dont Understand why people like criston in any way that scene was so upsetting and homophobic

(I'm going to use this opportunity to yap a lot about Criston and Alicent, a lot of this is just things i've been mulling over, I'm not shouting down at you specifically, anon. i absolutely understand wanting to stop the show, or any show that makes you uncomfortable)

So I think a lot of nuance is being purposefully removed when people talk about Criston. And I do think the writing of s1 is to blame cus it is super spotty in a lot of places especially in regards to characterization cus it was just rapid-fire pacing. And a similar argument could also be made for how people talk about Alicent.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely not saying anyone has to like Criston (or any character) and I’m definitely not saying that Criston isn’t flawed. (In fact, the opposite— that his flaws are exactly what make him a compelling character)

I mean hell, Daemon killed his wife, treats Rhaena like shit, and groomed Rhaenyra, but no one really questions how or why people enjoy him as a character.

But Alicent and Criston DO have a complex and interesting relationship. And I think there's definitely something to be said about how people talk about them specifically compared to the other Targaryen characters. People who hate Alicent like to reduce her whole character down to her being petty and jealous of Rhaenyra for having "good sex", hypocritical, "white feminist", slept with Nyra's dad so she's a scheming bitch the whole time. Very much removing context and simplifying her down to nothing.

A similar thing can be said for how people talk about Criston. It's very easy to reduce him to just this petty incel lunatic, which feels unfair. Especially when Targaryen characters specifically are given miles of deference and nuance, despite their flaws like Aegon for example.

Going back to the writing, I think what got lost in show translation surrounding him killing Joffrey was circumstances surrounding Criston at the time— again, please don’t think I’m excusing it, I just think context matters— is how serious these characters (particularly Alicent and Criston) believe in the world that they're in. And it's not something that's truly emphasized in the writing.

It's not that Alicent is just jealous of Rhaenyra for "having a good sex life", but she truly believes that Rhaenyra is breaking laws that have existed for everyone else forever. (Having bastards is against the law, bastards inheriting IS against the law, putting a bastard on the throne would be super duper against the law). But what broke their friendship was that Rhaenyra lied about something serious, something Alicent would have protected and defended her over, and that cost her her father, the 1 person who was on her side in some small way. Subsequently, she became untrustworthy to Alicent.

And finally she snaps at Driftmark after years of being gaslit and essentially told that the rules that she's always had to abide by (bc it's the rules everyone else has to abide by) (and the rules that got her pimped out to a leper king and forced to have kids he wouldn't even care about), doesn't apply to Rhaenyra and the final straw is being told that the physical well being of her son doesn't matter as much as the hurt feelings of Rhaenyra's.

Circling back, Criston was fully expecting to die after he told Alicent what happened with Rhaenyra because because he broke his oaths and it's punishable by death— and he knows this has been enforced before. He was crumbling, mentally, believing that everything he worked for is gone only to then have his shame indirectly blackmailed/threatened by some guy he doesn't even know. And he snaps with the intent to commit suicide after. But it wasn't an attack out of homophobia, though. It would have happened regardless of who it was, it just happened to be Joffrey.

Why people like Alicent and Criston because they very much are a unit of non-Targaryens existing within the Targaryen family and will always be considered outsiders. (Criston especially is a racial minority within the world, being part Dornish, and who are not looked at favorably by the rest of the country). They've both tried to be a part of this family as best they can, been used by them. (There's definitely a case to be made, whether people like it or not, about the dubious consent surrounding Rhaenyra using her power to get Criston to sleep with her and whether or not he even had the power to refuse her. And part of what breaks him is knowing the 1 thing he had, his honor, was thrown away for something that didn't matter to Rhaenyra at all, even if she knew the consequences for him too.)

Criston is Alicent's person that's kind of just all hers, which matters a great deal to her after nearly a lifetime of never really having anyone that's on her side, exclusively, and hasn't tried to exploit her for their own personal gain. He's sworn to her and likewise, Alicent gives Criston renewed purpose in life. Even if we don't see it, we can absolutely infer that he stepped in with her children when they were being neglected by Viserys. He's probably the 1 person that Alicent has come to trust completely when it became very evident that she had no one else. In Alicent, Criston has found a sort of salvation, and there's this religious idealization of her. They're basically coworkers and kinda best friends and also kinda co-parents.

But that doesn't necessarily mean that he's her attack dog at the ready, as some people have claimed; the 1 time we to see her actually instruct him to do violence (take Luke's eye), he refuses and he goes to stop her from hurting Rhaenyra before being stopped by Daemon.

So what I mean by all this, is that I genuinely think there are a lot of complex things at work with Criston and his relationship with Alicent. That's not at all to say that you have to ship them and I understand why some people don't. I think it's a bit reductive to say that he's just this violent animal with nothing else interesting to think about.

In summary:

[sassykinzonline]

who loved who first? when do you think you each fell in love?

im...not sure actually. it's like asking, "when did you know the sky was blue?" i'll try to sort it out.

he was attracted to me first. that much is obvious given the longing stares and bed time fantasies of his. i was aware of him, and i was curious, but at the same time i was afraid of what i thought my family would think so i didn't really let it go there.

there's a conversation in the itachi light novels that is pretty similar to an actual one i had with my brother. basically one day, super randomly, he asked me what i though of naruto and i said i dont have any special feelings but i think he doesn't like me. my brother asked why and i said because hes always yelling at me and trying to make me mad, so i just ignore him like everyone else who follows me around for no good reason. my brother asked me, "what if he has a good reason?" and then just walked off like a dickhead. but from that point on i tried to avoid naruto less and pay attention to what he was saying to me. i realized that he antagonizes people because he wants their attention and doesn't know how to get it, and the stuff he says to me were backhanded compliments and essentially invitations to train. so i started indulging him from time to time because it was fun and it made me feel good about myself.

then my family died and all of a sudden i realized what it was like to both be lonely and want to isolate yourself from everyone around you. on my first day back from school, of course everyone was talking about itachi going batshit and killing my family and how "maybe sasuke will do the same" "yeah hes super weird he never talks to anyone". that was the one day i can remember naruto not saying anything, and i was mad at him because i wanted him to. apparently what i didnt know is he fought with some of the kids who were saying really stupid shit. so that's apparently when i subconsciously knew i felt differently about him.

the day i realized i liked him was the day we kissed, then were put on the same team, then he flopped at trying to kidnap me (wtf was that about?). when i was tied up i realized i wasnt mad, just really happy that this was gonna be my life from now on. that's why when i saw him again i just teased him, and why i lashed out at sakura when she was badmouthing him.

if i try to trace back when the first time i realized i love him was, it was probably orochimaru's hideout. leaving him was painful, but eventually i just went numb. when i saw him again and the first thing he asked me was why didn't i kill him, with that sad and scared face...i thought about the way he cried at the idea of me leaving him and being in danger. i realized he still thought i didnt care for him and that he was weak, and i could tell he was upset at himself and not me. it made me realize how similar we are because that's exactly how i felt when itachi left, but more importantly it made me realize i never wanted him to think i felt that. so i must feel the opposite. that's why i told him i spared his life on a whim instead of just saying the same thing my brother said to me, i didnt want to twist the knife. and i wanted an excuse to hold him so i staged a death threat.

i know around the time itachi came back was when i started contemplating about him more seriously, so i probably "fell in love" when i woke up from the coma i was in and realized he had saved me. but that's also why i was so angry.

onto the easier question: naruto has always loved me but just didnt know how to express it. when i say "express", i dont mean tell me. i mean he didnt know how to show it and he didnt know what it entailed. it was just more platonic for him for a while, then when we were fighting right before i left, i think he realized it might not have been only platonic. this is just my guess because i never asked since i dont really care and i dont think he himself could answer me, but he probably realized it was romantic right after he defeated pain. i know that moment was empty for him. i also heard from him that inari asked about me, and the old guy asked if i left because of some sort of lovers' conflict? but the face he made when he told me that was like he was embarrassed. i dont see why he would be embarrassed unless it was somewhat true for him and he didnt like getting called out as a joke. he probably "fell" in love in haku's ice mirrors because hes a queen like that.

[kenobster]

can you explain the appeal of these ship polls to me?

genuinely asking bc i really don’t get why they happen so often or why people take them seriously. it feels like all they do is breed conflict.

what makes everyone feel so strongly about the winners, especially if it doesn’t actually represent the true popularity of the ship? (not that popularity matters bc if it’s fun then it’s fun and everyone is entitled to their feelings and opinions)

not mad or trying to be mean, i genuinely want to understand bc im bad with social cues and at reading people. what is it about them that you like? <3

so like this is actually super funny to me lol because everything you just described has been EXACTLY how I feel about sports (especially regarding American football fans in the United States). I've actually joked a couple times already about how (thanks to this poll) I finally understand what the big deal about the Superbowl is. In fact, over the last week, I've felt a kinship with overworked cashiers who use their fifteen-minute breaks to check the score throughout the day. Every time one of the previous polls taken an unexpected swerve, please picture me jumping up and down and hollering at my computer like I'm some middle-aged white dad yelling at some referee. 😆

My state has two college football teams, both with avid fanbases, and people get SO up-in-arms about it. Even after finding out I have no interest in sports, people have threatened to commit bodily harm against me if they ever catch me wearing merch of the wrong side's team. To be honest, I'm with you — I've always found that kind of attitude to be super aggressive and needlessly rude. Unfortunately.... 😖(insert my walk of shame lol) I have recently acquired an understanding of the psychology behind it....

In other words, I think your confusion is very similar to my confusion about sports. Sports fans, especially in my state, always seem like they would really consider it a dealbreaker if I wear the wrong merch or that they would really punch me in the face if I show support for the wrong team (which does happen to people at some sports games, but I think it's a minority of sports fans who would ever do that). Most of the time, if you get upset by jokes like that, the other person will drop the act and reassure you. But sports fans will never admit they're kidding. 🙄

Anyway, with that context, I think you first must untangle the phrase "people take [shipping polls] so seriously." The truth is that we're not taking it seriously, but, like sports fans, our humor and social cues are probably difficult to read. Especially for someone not "in on the joke," we might look like we're all upset and riled up. We might say things that sound serious and aggressive. But inwardly, we're actually all laughing about it. None of us really care about the results, we're just here to have a good time playfully arguing our sides.

You're probably still wondering why anyone would find enjoyment out of this, so I think it will help if you re-contextualize it into a framework more familiar... Why do people enjoy roller coasters when the purpose of a roller coaster is to trigger your body into a fight-flight response? Why do people watch horror movies or go into haunted houses when the purpose of them is to scare the shit out of people? Why do people enjoy watching or listening to true crime drama when the stories showcase the most barbaric and cruel forms of human nature? Why do people read AITA threads on Reddit, even though they often depict the wildest examples of abuse/toxicity/etc. in human relationships?

It's because all of those examples allow a person to experience stress/terror/anger/etc. in a way that is safe. Roller coasters don't actually kill you. Horror movies have a pause button. Scary things in haunted houses are the work of prop designers and actors. True crime media and AITA threads involve stories that are happening to other people, not you. Similarly, in shipping polls, I think people enjoy having a safe way to channel their feelings about fandom rivalries in a way that is mostly harmless.

Whatever the reason for our enjoyment, however, I think once you realize that none of us actually care about the results, everything else starts to click into place. But here's some answers to your other questions:

Why do we care about the results when they're never accurate? Because we never cared about the results in the first place, hahaha. We care about what's funny. We care about what makes for the juiciest drama. (I mean, think of how funny it was when that final bracket on the Best Star Wars Character poll resulted in victory for Sebulba instead of Obi-Wan! Lmao!) In short, accuracy is boring. Bribing, cheating, and begging in order to skew results is hilarious.

Why are we so mean and hostile to each other? Because we're not actually being mean and hostile to each other.* We're teasing each other. The same way as two best friends might tease each other (example from one friend to another that I literally saw this morning: "oh my god you are SUCH a nerd 😂"). That kind of teasing doesn't work if somebody cares about the subject matter (for example, that joke would NOT be okay if the aforementioned "nerd" had ANY negative feelings about that word). But in the right circumstances, this kind of teasing can feel REALLY good, REALLY fun, and even increase feelings of security within the friendship! In shipping polls, people are probably just exhibiting the communal version of this.**

Why do people care so much about the winners? I don't actually know the answer to this because this is my first time ever enjoying a ship poll, and we haven't gotten there yet. 😅Someone feel free to pitch in.

Why do they happen so often? Probably clout. Beyond that, in order to make a poll, someone has to genuinely be curious about the results. They can theorize, but they can't know what the outcome will be. Not only that, they have to remember that tumblr polls are all fun and games (or else, imagine how incredibly infuriating it would be to see people trolling). People who want accurate results don't use tumblr polls for a reason; they use official surveys instead. In this shipping poll, OP wrote a rule for each round that the results weren't meant to be taken seriously. So I think they enjoy it for the same reasons as we do. That kind of thrill can be addicting lol, and I can see why people would want to recreate it again and again.

In closing, it's been fun, but I don't think another poll like this will similarly compel me. This has just been a one-time thing that I was able to enjoy because of certain circumstances that overlapped with my interests and sense of humor. In truth, I get just as annoyed at the frequency of these polls, and I will likely need a lifelong cooldown after this one concludes. Frankly, if I'd remembered that the final round would be for a week instead of a day, I might have.... well, I might have made different decisions to say the least, lmao.

[*] This is not inclusive of antis. There is no reason to shit on one ship exclusively when there are 5+ other ships in the running. There is especially no reason to threaten the other side with an "electric chair with a built-in guillotine" if they win. That's not fun and games. That's just fucked up.

[**] Because it's a communal version and not a close friendship, it's definitely hard to gauge people's feelings about whether they're okay with being teased. A comment, to one person, might sound like teasing, but, to another, might come across as hurtful and mean. Only intimate friends can really tell the difference (and even they make mistakes). This is definitely unfortunate, but it's kind of a consequence of human behavior in general — not something specific to these kinds of polls imo.

[wabatle]

hi emii 

IVE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE BUT SHH

id liked to be matched up please

uhhh for fandom oshi no ko and tbhk (if i can do more than one)

i use she/they pronouns but mainly she/her (and my gender is female)

i don’t mind male or female tbh 😭😭

uhm my personality uhh like i’m outgoing,  an ambivert i like spending time with my friends and i usually try to be nice to everyone although sometimes i fail and either look like a weirdo or a total asshole some personality traits i have are honestly lazy, sort of kindhearted, sometimes i can accidentally be a little manipulative (although i hate it) however im compassionate and sociable and quite honest, rlly loyal to people i like and yh..

i love drawing and making things for my friends, like gifts or food, and one of my main hobby’s is drawing Ocs or playing the piano, someday i want to be a paediatrician and work with kids (stupid classmates called me drake for saying that though 😭😭) things that make me feel negative are when people talk about me, or question things i do, or when someone leaves me out of something it hurts like shit but things that make me feel happy n positive are when my friends are always there for me when i have a panic attack or when they have to deal with my hopeless romantic energy lmao.

My love language is deffo physical affection, honestly i don’t like conveying my feelings with words i like doing little acts of service, making gifts and being able to give physical affection to them, i’d definitely like to receive the same thing, physical affection mainly (touch starved bby) yet i don’t like them giving words of affection to me, it’s just something that i don’t like as it makes me embarrassed.

uhhh let me just think of something random, like they do the little things to show they care about me like stopping me from walking into traffic or holding my hand when i feel upset like ahhhh i love that so much omg 😭😭

tyyy

𓆩⚝𓆪 — @sillynene-13's Oshi no Ko and TBHK matchup~!

𓆩⚝𓆪 — A/N: Hey pookie!!! Ofc you can do more than one!! I put a lot of thought into these, like. A lot. Idk why 😭😭 I work hard for my pookster 😼😼

𓆩⚝𓆪 — I think your Oshi no Ko soulmate is...

𓆩⚝��� — Akane Kurokawa!

I feel like you match each other's energy so well ngl...

Akane understands that you can come across as manipulative and she knows you don't mean to, so she always tells you.

She doesn't mind your physical affection. Although she herself may prefer words of affirmation (idk i just feel like she would), she doesn't mind and actually quite likes it!

Akane knows perfectly well how horrible panic attacks and depression can be, so she always, always has your back during it. Whatever you need, she'll be that for you.

If hand holding is what you like then she'll gladly hold your hand anywhere you go!

Akane also makes sure you always feel included and would feel bad herself if you were left out.

If you're trying to be nice, she can tell and if you're having a hard time conveying it she'll gladly help you.

Honestly, you guys make such a healthy relationship. You're both honest and open with each other, and you enjoy each other's company.

𓆩⚝𓆪 — I think your Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun soulmate is...

𓆩⚝𓆪 — Mitsuba Sousuke!

If you're trying to be nice but you look like an asshole bro will make it known and laugh his ass off

He doesn't mind your physical affection that much you just need to be careful with it. There's certain people who he would be embarrassed to show that to.

He likes that you always listen to him. He feels comfortable around you and feels safe talking to you about anything.

He likes to listen to you play piano. Normally he wouldn't give that kind of stuff the time of day, but he makes an exception because he loves you.

Mitsuba makes sure he's always on your side. Seems like the type of guy to be on your side, even if you're in the wrong.

He knows just how to encourage you. If you're feeling down because of teasing, he knows exactly what to say. He's very insistent that you follow your dreams.

I hoped you liked it!! Ty for requesting pookie bear!!! I'm sorry Mitsuba's is so short grgrgrgrgrgrrr 😖😖

[itsbetterthananal]

another thing, and probably the most profound thing that ive been thinking about when it comes to this guy, is that he never falters in making me feel seen. never ever. when i talk to him, usually while hes in the middle of important work and im babbling on about nonsense, hes always actively showing interest and asking questions. i send something in the group chat? he always reacts. im talking in a group and somebody interrupts me? he immediately tells them to let me finish. i try to do my hair before work but mess up and say fuck it and just leave it as is? he tells me it looks pretty today. im having a shit day? he clocks it the moment i walk in the door, and knows exactly what to say despite not even knowing what im upset about

i notice i think of myself as a background character. just someone fitting into small parts of other peoples lives, not them fitting into mine. he wont allow me to think like that. a great example of that is, some weeks ago i walked into his workspace to drop off some paperwork, and he was just finishing up a conversation w another coworker. naturally i was like i’ll just slip in unnoticed, put it in the folder, and leave. before i can leave he goes “chloe, why didnt you say hi to me!” and im like. genuinely baffled by the perception. i was like lord, i was just focused doing my work! and you were talking to someone just now! and hes grinning and hes like “i dont care, i want you to say hi to me! you hurt my feelings 😢” i smiled, rolled my eyes and chatted for a bit. then later that night when i was at the front desk, he comes walking up and i loudly go HI _____! see how i said hi to you! (playfully mocking him) and in front of all my team members he says “i love it when you say hi to me”, fully genuine, no hesitation, no embarrassment. like i am such a worthwhile part of his day

and on the days where my anxiety is bad, i try to look at myself through his eyes. bc otherwise i feel like i am a burden, i feel like i am not worthy of peoples time, just overall a waste of space. but now i hear him. i hear him telling me all the good things he has ever said about me, about what a kind, special person i am. about how im the most positive person hes ever known. about how i find humor in everything. i hear him telling me he thinks i’ll make a great mother one day, and become a doctor. i hear him telling me how grateful he is that im still around after i opened up about my suicidal period. i hear him telling me he missed me after one of us has been out sick or on vacation.

so yeah. i will forever sacrifice the crush i have on him for his friendship. because i am so incredibly grateful to have met someone like him

[waifu-13]

Midnight a howl x reader

tw slight cheating (youll see)

an hiii im back sorta, thank you for all the love while i was gone, i missed this so much

The town where you're from seems so tiny compared to the places you are seeing now except none of them have him, howl pendragon with his lush blond hair and blue eyes you could always get lost in but most importantly he's the one you describe as your first mature connection but as you look out of the tour bus window you think of what he actually was to you. You both had different goals in life. He had everything in order and you had bigger dreams than a simple life. His goal was to make you his wife and yours was to build a name no matter what, so you too had to depart. eventually, you found your way out... you never lost touch with howl tho.

But on nights like this were its almost midnight and your boyfreind has yet to show up for what time he said he'd be done working. You never would of guesed the reason you have a name is cause of your boyfreind but atleast you made it. Eventually he shows face

"babeeee I'm back" Your boyfriend's voice excited as if you haven't been waiting for him.

"hi. I'm going to bed" a cold response too tired to deal with shit, nights like these make you miss Howl so much knowing he'd never do this to you but knowing you can't go back, the next stop of the tour being in your home city doesn't help being hunted of the past but hey.. the show must go on.

You love your boyfriend he's sweet, good-looking, and highly talented just horrible at actually showing up.. with countless talks on being better at communication you just learn to deal with it but of course, sometimes when you know you're being slightly mistreated your heart gonna long for the only man who's treated you right.

before you know it the bus makes it to your city. you take a deep breath as you join your boyfriend in the before-show setup, helping with prep work, and making the VIP area look just right. All the fun stuff, the behind-the-scenes things you've grown accustomed to doing.

"hey babe, are we actually gonna do something after the show tonight?" you ask your bf as he's doing some last-minute prep.

"duhh everything will be wrapped up but 10:30 so I'm all yours at 11, I swear" he gives you a sweet smile

"Pinky promise?" you hold your pinky out

"Pinky promise," he says wrapping his pink around yours. leaving a kiss on your hand to sweeten the deal.

As the night goes on the show is incredible n everything goes smoothly as the time slowly creeps up no word. no word no sign of your bf. you look down at your phone only to see 11:30 pm lighting up across your phone screen.

"fuck it" You grab your phone and walk off the bus in tears, calling the only person you know who will come get you. searching for howls contact pressing dail

"..yn? it's late is everything okay? are you in trouble?" howls a concerned voice rushing through the phone

" yeah.. um... I'm in town.. can you come to get me please?" you managed to spit out in your upset state

"WAIT REALLY? But yeah of course hun ill be there send me an address. ill be there as soon as possible". you send him an address sitting on a curb waiting for him to show up hoping no one from your boyfriend's team shows up.

After about 20 minutes of waiting you see headlights pull up beside where you're sitting and a familiar voice chimes through the window.

"WAIT DON'T GET IN" Howl rushes out of the car hugging you... shit, he smells so good.. like wood and fruit.. somethings never change. he lets go of you opening the passenger-side door for you to get in.

The car ride back to his place was full of laughter, catching up and some tears.. howl is in disbelief at how your bf can just abandon you after promising to show. He shows you some projects he's done, and you are so proud of him seeing how far he's come in his career path going into his place you look around seeing it is exactly how you remember, him having to duck when he walks in, the wall of pictures that you told him to start, you walk over to it looking at each photo.

"you still have one's of us, we were so young. look at that" you say with a slight sadness in your tone

"Well yeah... it's a memory wall and it's not like we hate each other. we just didn't work out.." you nod in agreeance, the silence is broken by your phone ringing.

"you wanna get that,?" howl says nodding toward your phone,

"no, I know who it is, and it's the last person I wanna talk to right now, let's watch a movie or something..." Changing from the subject at hand. he agrees as you two make your way to the couch sitting down close to each other as you both pick a movie together. After some time of watching the movie howl looks over leans in and kisses you. you pull back.

"Howl.. hun you know I have a boyfriend. I stupidly love him. "

"i-i know I'm sorry just old habits.. also yn he's sorta a dickbag yn.."

"I know howl, I sometimes miss u but we weren't made for this timeline, hopefully, the next one ill love you again...ill get going" You get up from the couch closing the door leaving howl.

Rain, he wanted it comfortable I wanted that pain He wanted a bride I was making my own name Chasing that fame He stayed the same

All of me change Like midnight

[leclerced]

before i head to bed—i absolutely agree. i think with max heavily involved for the rbr!driver au, lestappen would fit and then for the ferrari driver!au it strictly just charles. also a name would work perfectly to tell the difference! I sorta like Bones as a name (chosen name) but name is up for discussion! but me thinks having such an unique name would help, also because Bones sounds so like deathly and like somebody you'd associate with goth/emo group but then this happy wild card driver is bouncing around talking anybody's ear off is HYSTERICAL to me.

Also LESTAPPEN RIVALRY YES PLEAAAASE.

(imma stick with Bones for the time being as the name): Like Bones genuinely is confused when Max is so upset and pissy that she got with charles because yeah they hate each other but bones is like ‘?? we’re not fucking?? why are you so pissed???’ But Bones being a little shit i would die for. Bones just happily lets him take a picture and send it to charles and is actually excited to see the outcome because hello, two of the most popular drivers are like fighting over her. she’s allowed a bit of an inflated ego with that. she’s so happy-go-lucky, sunshine, always sweet & caring (unless charles but even still) to the public so nobody in a million years would expect her to be a little shit and sorts fueling a fire like this. especially when charles texts her asking what the fuck are those hickies on her thighs and demanding answers from max because ‘thought you guys weren’t fucking?? what changed??’ and probably making it his mission to not only get back at max but make sure bones remembers who they fucked first

and hell, to really add fuel, she’d probably wear a skirt with knee highs that are just a bit too big on her so she’s gotta have garter belts on to keep them up but part of the hickies are showing and she’s just “lalala” and maybe some people are bold enough to ask but she shrugs it off like “nothing! don’t worry bout silly clumsy me!” but she knows max and charles knows exactly what they are.

this fire is rapidly spreading between the two and bones just somehow in the middle but also on the sidelines roasting marshmallows straight vibing because they’re secretly a little shit who likes chaos and like maybe i’ve already thought of bones history which involves a really shitty ex and this is the first time they’ve felt wanted by anybody, let alone two guys like max and charles soooo.

if you’ll allow, i can ramble bout bones history tomorrow >:) also when i get around to forcing myself to update my blog (the thought tires me out LMAO) and really flesh this out, would you be down to be tagged in the post since we’ve been rambling nonstop bout it? 👀👀-🐈‍⬛

omg hi sorry i didnt answer this last night i finished baking at 11 pm n passed out 🥺

im not a big fan of the nickname bones bc i have watched the show bones a million times and it makes me think of decaying bodies so .. tbh its a turn off.

u can tell me ur idea ab her histroy but i have an idea ab it too but its opposite kinda ! i kinda want her to be someone who never committed to anyone, she fully committed to racing and never dated because media already spoke so much about her love life. idk what other countries are like but i can totally imagine her being american and it’s prom season so all her friends back home are getting asked to the dance, going dress shopping, and she’s on the other side of the world in a racing championship. interviewers keep asking her if she’s sad about missing out on prom and all crossing the stage for her high school graduation, and she’s just like “well considering i’m currently first in a fight for the f3 championship, i’d certainly rather be here fighting for this trophy than a prom queen sash.” very independent and always shoots down questions about her love life and is like “i don’t hear you asking anyone else that, why are you asking me?” or completely ignoring them until someone’s like “hey they asked you a question.” she just shrugs and says, “i’ve already said i’m not going to answer questions about my personal life. ask me about the race, or the car.”

maybe was fwb with a driver from another team in the past or even a past teammate so it’s kind of a comfortable dynamic to fall into with charles and max. she loves the chaos. she def loved pitting them against each other before the whole hickey fiasco, but when she fucks max and he leaves those hickeys on her thighs, it only gets worse. i can imagine if they’re in the same hotel charles could come banging on max’s door.

[hugevanserrass]

www.tumblr.com/hugevanserrass/753761384476655616/in-that-scene-where-nesta-dances-with-eris?source=share

I ALWAYS HAVE SAID THIS OMGGGGGGGGG, it upsets me for tons because they all know for a fact that Nesta’s destined for greatness. She’s a force they can’t control nor deny her own growth, and that’s exactly why they all fear her so much.

This is something that makes her exposure to Eris and the offer he makes towards her even more compelling in a certain way too ( at least for myself? ) because, yes, he sees her as a tool on his schemes and the long-term game he’s playing, but he’s actually EAGER to teach her and show her more⸺to let her discover what’s Prythian and guide her, so she can become what she’s supposed to be! Like, HE DOES NOT FEAR HER. Her power enthralls him and that, compared to Cassian’s, makes their dynamic twice as interesting and fulfilling.

yes!! this is exactly my line of thinking. cassian should be thrilled at nesta's power, her potential, how she so easily has someone like eris in the palm of her hand. instead, he makes it about himself. all he can think about is that it makes him feel inadequate, so instead of working through his own problems and figuring out why he has so little self esteem, his solution is that nesta should be the one knocked down a few pegs. because she's too powerful. again and again she is forced to make herself smaller to fit into the confines of the inner circle, even when sjm (maybe unintentionally, im not sure) makes it clear she is destined for so much more. frustrates the shit out of me. I still have a tiny bit of hope that the end of hofas was a hint that there would be more for nesta in the future but idk.

I think eris and nesta could have had an excellent enemies to lovers arc if only sjm had been brave enough to do it.

[inkykeiji]

hiiii clari 😚 not to be too sad and messy on main but i feel really weird rn 😭😭 i have feelings for a professor and i just failed to turn in a final for him on time because of crazy last minute personal stuff that really made it impossible for me to finish my work and i feel so pathetic about it 😭😭 like i just wanna crawl into a hole bc it’s not a big deal but i hate feeling like im disappointing someone or myself and i cringe at the idea of me being a bad student :// like ive been debating continuing school for a masters but im also someone who runs away when i feel uncomfy and i kinda just never wanna talk to him again bc i don’t like feeling vulnerable. it just sucks bc id rather burn a bridge than confront the fact that i messed up ☹️☹️

hi hi!! <3 aw sweetpea i’m so sorry!!! i actually ended up in a similar situation during my undergrad—there was this PhD graduate student that was teaching one of my courses and i really, really admired him. we had a lot of the same tastes when it came to film + a lot of the same views in general, and he always left such marvellous and thoughtful comments on my papers. fast forward to the very end of the semester, our massive final paper is due and, exactly like you, i end up being unable to finish it on time because of personal reasons. i emailed him to explain—i wasn’t concerned about the late penalties to my grade, but i was so goddamn upset because i valued his opinion of me so much and i didn’t want this incident to soil it. i admitted this to him in my email, and he messaged me back SO SWEETLY, said something like this could never impact his view of me and that he still thought i was a wonderful student, and decided to waive the late penalties for me.

if you haven’t already, i’d definitely suggest sending your prof an email to explain—and be authentic in it. it’s not an excuse, it’s merely an explanation of what happened. i know it’s scary, and i get not wanting to feel vulnerable or look incompetent, but if you can muster up the courage to do so it is often worth it!! you can still keep your issues private (i did), but it definitely doesn’t hurt to explain yourself! and, honestly, i think there’s a good chance your prof might respect you even more if you’re able to open up and admit to your mistake. it demonstrates that you can acknowledge the fact that you messed up and feel remorseful for it, and it also shows how important your work is to you.

i completely understand how you’re feeling and it’s such an awful thing to experience—school was incredibly important to me and to this day still is, so i 100% understand where you’re coming from. but!! also!!! shit happens! you’re only human, and you can’t be perfect all the time. this can be a hard thing for us perfectionists to accept, but the sooner we can swallow that pill and grant ourselves some grace, the better we will feel and the easier it’ll be to do these things.

[weebsinstash]

I read Dont Pick Up The Trash You Threw Away bc you mentioned a trashy husband worse than Sovieshu and I am trembling with rage omg. Let me rant. THAT MAN. Holy shit and the way he just??? waltz in with a pregnant woman and has the AUDACITY to ask her if she is cheating on him. Also!!! He just!! Expects her to be okay with him having a mistress!!! And wonders why she is mad!!! Expects her to raise the kid and do his job for him so he can just be shitty and brooding with his inferioty complex and be chill with his mistress while homegirl gets nothing, not even respect.

The responsible women are always cold and arrogant according to these men. And then the Duke tries to act like uwu why arent you giving me attention? Im doing the work pls validate me :(((( I need you to know Im better than you :(((((((((((( Coming up with Oh no, why are you so upset? While they complete ignore the wife and deposit all the thoughtfulness and love towards the other woman. Does not even have the decency to keep the mistress away, flaunts her, and WANTED HER TO PLAN THE WEDDING.

The way he just constantly belittles her, too. Sovieshu was more respectful than this piece of shit. I wish those protagonists got concubines and lovers too and flaunted them, just to see the husbands/fiancées seething with jealousy.

Also why does he say she needs to give birth to an heir if he has already stated the child he thinks is his is going to be legitimized? He IS so much worse than Sovieshu you are right about that. Glad she (spoilers) finally said to break up on chapter 33. Wanna see this dude get whats coming for him while the protagonist enjoys time with the emperor. Goddamit LEAVE HIM.

(This is the post that reminded me to turn my anon asks back on from my main blog and yeah lmao I have been reading so many fucking manhwa and been so into em i was considering making a themed sidelong but, idk fnfkfbdk)

IT'S THE EXTREMELY HEAVY INSINUATIONS THAT THE MISTRESS ISNT EVEN ACTUALLY PREGNANT THAT DOES IT FOR ME, AND ALSO THIS FUCKING MAN SAID STRAIGHT UP "oh don't worry im going to throw her out after she gives birth" like DUDE THAT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF FUCKING WORSE BECAUSE IT SHOWS YOU CANT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY? YOU'D JUST PUMP AND DUMP HER AND STEAL HER CHILD?

Like, at least with Soveishu, I could at least understand the concept behind why he would fall for Rashta. From his perspective, he felt like Navier had become too formal and mature over the years and part of him was yearning for how she used to be and allegedly her temperament used to be similar to Rashta's, combined with uh seems like he was feeling confined by being nobility and Rashta's innocent ignorance was a breath of fresh air. He was with Navier for a pretty decent amount of time, since childhood, and he was selfishly trying to chase "the old days", so to speak, and up to the most recent chapter it's become clear that his relationship with Rashta was really just to fill the gaps in his relationship with Navier which... could have been fixed with proper communication? There's no doubt in my mind that if he had came at her genuinely about wanting them to be more affectionate and closer with each other that it could have had a positive change. By Navier's own words, she didn't realize how strongly she loved Soveishu until he started to do what he did and broke her heart to the point of sobbing in bed when she can usually stay so stone-faced for her position. Also, another "defense" of Soveishu is that he is under the impression that Navier is infertile and he is not (did he forget HE is the one who ate the abortion cookies?) and that he needed an heir and was trying to concoct a scheme to keep that child and make it his and Navier's, because in their high society, if you can't continue your lineage your position is over and will be taken from you

Iike even if soveishu is a stupid bitch he at least had SPRINKLINGS of a good intention?

THIS OTHER GUY IS JUST A DUMB PRICK THOUGH!! We don't exactly know his story with Sisley yet but I'm uh pretty insanely positive she's trying to pull some kind of political uprising since she's the former princess of a ruined kingdom? Since the husband is a Duke and he is not married to the FL? But can we talk about how this dumb motherfucker basically returned from war after 6 years and barely reacted to seeing his fiance at all? No hugging or tears or "i missed you darling", he just focused on getting his side piece up to her room? He didn't even eat fucking dinner with her but he can eat with the mistress, who he even gives the fucking Duchess' room that is supposed to belong to the FL? Also how did the mistress just happen to request a room with a lot of sunlight and the best room was the Duchess' room? She ain't in love with this husband, he's HER TARGET. Also like, if you read between the lines in how the fiancee speaks to the FL, he almost makes it sound like he isn't even sure how the child is his but it must be? So you know what I think? I think Sisley got him drunk and lied about them having sex, and he thinks "oh I was drunk, I have to take responsibility" but, HE'S NOT EVEN BEING HONEST OR GENUINE WITH THE FL ABOUT IT

I really like this FL because she is so capable. He went to war and she took over his position and EXCELLED at it. He had the nerve to tell her not to get involved in the dukedom's affairs when she has LITERALLY been carrying the duke's seal for 6 years? In their culture carrying the seal of a position is the same as holding the authority of that position so literally in name by the process she was unofficially the duke during that time. Can we also talk about what a massive red flag it is that her fiance OBVIOUSLY FEELS THREATENED by her intelligence? I just, I got literally fucking furious st the chapter where he's trying to actually do his fucking job and he's going over the budget for the rainy season and he's all "oh why is it so expensive for this season, my wife is so silly she doesn't know what she's doing, I can fix this right away" BITCH I'M NOT EVEN IN POLITICS AND I KNOW IMMEDIATELY ITS BECAUSE RAIN IS FUCKING HEAVY AND CAN DAMAGE BUILDINGS!! BUT HE WANTS TO FEEL SMART AND RUINED IT, RUINED IT, AND SMIRKED IN HER FACE AFTER ASKING HER IF SHE NOTICED ANYTHING WITH THE BUDGET (AS IN, "DID YOU NOTICE HOW YOU FUCKED UP")

I hate him. The arrogance is off the fucking charts. You want to mention him accusing her of cheating, well, I actually saw a video the other day, in reference to Soveishu, talking about how if a true narcissist accuses you of something you've never done and never would do, like cheating, it is absolutely something they have done before or are already doing. And that clicks for Trash Husband who's name I can't even remember tbh. He is subconsciously aware he's being an unfaithful fucking prick and he is projecting that guilt and insecurity onto the FL. I CANNOT WAIT for the next chapter. I want to see his face. I want to see him react to being fucking dumped. you KNOW he's just going to treat her like she's throwing a tantrum, but I think its fucking furious he said, even just in anger, that she should leave his home. He's the one who said it first. He's obviously an emotionally unstable little cunt and I want him to go down. Jokes on you buddy you're left with your scheming mistress who ain't even knocked up and your fiance who is the smartest woman in the kingdom is gonna go get railed by the Emperor. Fuck you. Eat shit and die.

As a final point, if you want more stories where the FL leaves her husband/partner and starts having a better life, I also have suggestions for "Today The Villainess Has Fun Again" which is about a Korean woman who reads a novel and basically says "this FL is stupid, i could do better" and god was like "oh bet? Let's see then" and she gets reincarnated as the insanely wealthy protagonist and starts using her massive wealth to basically do whatever she wants. Something i think is really interesting and I hope they touch on is that it is being heavily implied that the body's original owner is still in there and is observing the FL and may have even let her take over her body in the first place? So I'm curious how that plays out, if FL is going to be sent back home after she's achieved happiness, or if the original protagonist will let the new one live a good life

There is also "Father I Don't Want This Marriage" which is so fucking cute by the way where after the FL Juvelia leaves her fiance Mikhail he starts literally having a manic spiral and losing massive amounts of weight to the point he is sickly because he is just so pathetic, his bitch mom even tries to beg Juvelia to get back together with him because he literally stops eating, but still fuck him because he's extremely manipulative and after Juvelia refuses to take him back he starts trying to scheme and even starts putting people in danger just because he sees the FL as a possession that has been stolen from him.

Oh and they weren't officially together but another story that really burns me up is "Vengeance from a Saintess Full of Wounds". The protagonist Lua is a saintess candidate who can heal people, but she is considered defective because she cannot heal someone without physically taking on their ailment. It is said outright that a saintess is only as powerful as her genuine feelings and empathy and that Lua has above average healing powers because she is so empathetic. Her crush a knight suffers massive wounds that she heals, but it makes her extremely sick while she's healing. She wakes up after some time and finds out her "childhood friend" is one of those "im actually just a fucking psychopath who was emotionally manipulating you into thinking we were friends for kicks, im actually a freak who hates you and was controlling you like a puppet for fun" kind of bitch who LIED and said SHE healed the knight and also told the knight that Lua had been extremely cruel to her and basically made Lua a social outcast when she was already treated extremely poorly. I would also like to get in another dig at the friend and say the story makes it very obvious her friend has lackluster healing powers because she's so extremely two-faced and one reason she "befriended" Lua was to manipulate her into healing people that she couldn't heal herself. Later Lua ia being bullied and finds out that she has another power, the power to transfer all those sicknesses and injuries she had treated in the past to other people, and decides to take revenge, helped by the prince, who they reveal pretty early on is in love with her because she treated his skinned knee when they were both little kids.

OH AND FINALLY! You want a husband who is like cartoonishly dumb and shitty, a new manhwa is "I Want To Become The Emperor So I Need A Divorce". The FL Arnoah is of the imperial family with her abusive brother as the Emperor. He marries her off to a small Duke who treats her like shit and is stupid and incompetent, like he is cartoonisly cringe. Arnoah has to put up with her husband treating her like shit while he runs around with his mistress and he even publicly humiliates her by doing shit like hosting plays where the actors are based off of them and Arnoah is depicted as a raving jealous lunatic compared to the poor Duke and his innocent lover. Arnoah had a clause in her marriage that says whatever titles she receives will also be given to her husband, which becomes a problem when a messenger mage tells her that her brother and also the next successor were both poisoned and that SHE is now in line for the throne. But wait she can't, because then her dumbass husband becomes emperor and we can't let that happen! So she makes a magical contract with the mage that he cannot deliver the obituary for one month, because in that time, she is going to get divorced, and THEN announce the Emperor's death and become Emperor. It's one of those "the first chapter shows her becoming emperor, then reminds time to show how it happened" kind of story telling and my god I cannot wait u til she rubs this idiots nose in the fact that she became Emperor by playing him. Fucking idiot. He ia so fucking stupid he is literally unfuckable. THE FL HATES HIM SO MUCH SHE IS LITERALLY SECRETLY TAKING BIRTH CONTROL LMAO

Oh and sorry. I have a lot of recommendations. Another one, the husband isn't quite in regret mode because the story is fairly new, but another story is A Divorced Evil Lady Bakes Cakes. This FL is so sweet i honestly cannot even remember why the story calls her evil, I think she was just given a bad reputation but didn't even do anything 🥺 she stayed with her fucking loser husband for NINE YEARS NINE FUCKING YEARS and for almost that entire time, he had a mistress who was his true love. Like, I get it, his mistress actually came first and he was forced to marry the FL. But instead of being a man and making his lover a concubine or something and being direct with his wife that their marriage is political, he just treats her like shit? And she's nice to him about it? She kind of ignores the fact he has a mistress at all? And he's just a prick to her, and when they have a divorce and she starts her own bakery, he mocks her? Fuck you buddy, now she's going to hook up with your brother who treats her like a queen and he's probably going to steal your position as next in line, too. Dude this husband is such a douche that HIS FATHER THE EMPEROR literally throws tea in his face and tells him to go get her back because he liked her and thought she was extremely intelligent and capable. HIS OWN POPS IS CALLING HIM A CHODE. You love to see it. Delicioso~

As a reverse "do not read this" recommendation i am hate reading The Mistress Runs Away because this ML is literally fucking vile but he gets the FL in the end after, god I could write paragraphs but basically he's an untrusting dickhead who accuses her of being unfaithful, abandons her, turns out she was pregnant, doesn't even believe the kid is his, treats her like shit, treats the kid like shit, allegedly eventually becomes nicer but it doesn't even matter because he's a fucking asshole and they SHOULDNT be together. Cannot emphasize enough that the reason they end up together is because the FL is basically a sheltered naive idiot who grew a toxic codependency on him. I don't even like the FL because she doesn't stand up for herself and let's him bully her son. It's one thing if you hate yourself and have no confidence, it's another to stand by and watch the father of your child deny his parentage and even refuse to ride in the same carriage as your son and forces you to ride with him, leaving your son in another carriage all alone. Like. Girl you deserve him at this point you're both hopeless 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[smolsammichowo]

I think my feelings on people arguing over if AEW or WWE is better is that one scene from the mickey mouse cartoon where Minnie Mouse finds a hat that is just the same hat she's wearing on her head & the group with her is like "oh I dont know maybe you should try it on..." & stuff ,

meanwhile Donald Duck, is like "ITS THE SAME HAT." over & over.

I'm Donald. except instead of hats, its pro wrestling. Its the SAME stuff. Its different companies & different styles of showing off stuff & different people but ITS PRO WRESTLING. ITS THE SAME OVER THE TOP VIOLENT SPORTS THEATER.

And I may say "Oh I perfer this stuff in AEW" or "I like this person in WWE" or "My favorite pro wrestler of all time is in AEW" or "Oh my gosh that match in wwe was the coolest ever!" but I just like them both in the end because they're both pro wrestling. Its more pro wrestling for me to enjoy. Same with other companies like NJPW, Impact/TNA (so happy more cool stuff is coming soon for them!) , Dragon Gate, ROH, and so much more !

I'm not saying "Oh! You dont like that company? Well you're bad!" You're fine to not like it, I'm just refering to the people who are like "Oh this guy who is super big star is signed with this comapny now! This company is trash now! Its gonna fail & die out! Haha!" & people who always focus on view counts and say "LOOK! This airing got a lot of people more watching than this show! They are failing!"

I wouldn't say that's failing. I would say all of that is pro wrestling is doing wonderful !

In the end for me, I just love pro wrestling & I'm just happy that I'm a pro wrestling fan in this age as there is so much content to watch (though a bit TOO much because I cant keep up with the fun madness AAAAA ) And I just find it silly that some people instead of enjoying it are just wishing the downfall of stuff! I

Also one more thing Im happier that tumblr has longer posts than twitter so i could talk about this!

Anyway heres a rant down below because here's a reason why I havent talked about pro wrestling a lot on twitter

I only mentioned on twitter that I dont talk about it much anymore given on twitter the fanbase there is a nightmare and people are scary (seriously compared to ANY fanbase Ive ever been in , sports fanbases especially pro wrestling where people REAAALLLY dont understand the "entertainment" part a lot of the time can be nuts. Especailly a shame given sometimes I really do want to talk about pro wrestling given its one of my all time favorite things & then I got people who just call me things just because my favorite wrestler either hasn't done much, isnt a champion, or isnt in their "favorite company"

Like bruh . If it makes you that miserable to just randomly comment on someones post talking about their favorite person like that why ya a fan . I used to be a huge fan of overwatch , still love the characters (after all i have two characters, one being one of my main online personas ) & such but I dropped the game because it made me miserable & that wasnt good for my mental health which then effect my physical. same with tiktok. I had 55k+ followers on there, that was my biggest following count on any social media site, but I dropped that shit because I was getting physically in pain from headaches from stress & being upset from that place & deleted that app & my account that had that many on there.

Aannnndd this just is exactly why I dont tallk about pro wrestling as much as I used to anymore. That above me happens. I just go off like I did lol . I apologize for that. But yea, I do still wanna do fanart for wrestlers in the future of course! After all they are a huge reason why I got back into art in a really fucked up time when I was younger in the first place .

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

dont have aspd but i like never had emotional empathy growing up (yay mix of autism and childhood situations that caused me to unlearn/block off emotional empathy) and i've never felt remorse and i only get small twinges of guilt i can easily brush aside, but i watched drrr at age 17 and showed it to my family and having all of em be like "yo ur just like izaya" (my mum was like "yeah if i hadnt been super careful how i raised u, 100% u would've turned out worse than izaya" which. uh considering before izaya the chara i related most to was azula from atla. fun to hear). and it me caused me to be like "oh shit maybe i should like learn empathy". i didnt realise i had cognitive empathy or that it was even a thing so i spent a few years teaching myself emotional empathy and man it suuuucks. worst decision i ever made. now i spend time being like upset for other ppl? when i used to just, be able to intellectually understand things sucked for them and help em out w/o feeling anything and so i wasnt emotionally bothered/drained afterwards. whereas now i like, spend time crying over other ppl? exhausting and terrible. it hasnt improved me as a person at all, im dont actually care abt things any more than i used to, and i think cognitive empathy is by far the most useful and practical out of the two. im not saying u shouldnt listen to ur therapist, i just kinda wanted to get that off my chest and not be judged?

WANNA MAKE CLEAR i am not judging u i just have always always always wanted to use this meme for as long as i have known of its existence

and what ur describing is literally exactly why i worry abt emotional empathy and feeling remorse like. maybe i'm fine existing this way. maybe i don't want to be fixed!! i get that itd make me more palatable and easier to get along with or whatever but i'm a person too!! what about me?? everyone will have conflict at some point; what about me makes it so that all chances of that need to be hammered down?? i'm a person too- what about what i feel is right for my own emotional state???

fun facts my fiance liked me partly because i reminded him of izaya. idk if you know enough of my blog to know my Lore but: he knew me for a day thru roleplaying and i wanted to know him outside of a rp context, and he was talking abt liking psychology. i then challenged him to diagnose me, yaknow As You Do, and in a Public Server he went "oh you have aspd, don't you?" totally innocently, he had no idea abt the stigma

i ofc denied it because i wanted him to like me and also was sixteen, but oddly enuf the aspd traits are (partly) Why He Liked Me??? not in a fetishistic way but just like, accepting that was part of my personality that doesnt need to be hammered out and like, not acting like Total Full Remission It's Like It Was Never Even There is the only end goal worth chasing like. maybe i dont wanna fully remiss maybe thats my choice and i have fuckin, command over my own god damned mind body and life!!!???

also fwiw: i dont know the rest of your symptoms but you having autism and the symptoms coming from trauma don't negate the possibility that it's aspd so id suggest looking into it more! even if a therapist said you didnt have it, they can be kinda..... stupid about aspd lmfao! don't look on quora and don't look on reddit nothing good lies behind those walls