#always get so embarrassed writing the actual tk scene

[amazingmsme]

I have so many spy things to sAy omfg-

#0 (Im writing the fic of Owen finding out abt Curt's weakness mwahaha)

#1 I need to figure out how to write a fic (or sm) where Owen is on the recieving end bc as much as i adore ticklish!Curt, Owen doesn't get enough tickles!! I cant think of a prompt for him other than for revenge- heLP–

#2 a quick hc i thought of in the car: Curt is BEGGING Barb to make him a tickle gadget of some sort he can use on Owen. Barb keeps saying no, but mainly because if/when she makes it she's def trying it out on Curt first.

And #3 it KILLS ME thst i can find Spies reloaded anywhere bc i know that a recording was made and put into the world, but i just cant find it. It kills me that i know curt and joey performed that tk scene so many times and ive only seen the one version of it pt on youtube. I just wanna see the toned-down spies!!

Alright thats it for now on me and my thoughts youre great🫶

AAAHHH I CAN’T WAIT TO READ IT!!! I’m so fucking starved for content, my ribs are showing! & I mean, revenge fics are always fun, but I totally understand wanting to have more to go off of! Maybe they’re on different sleep schedules because of time zones & Curt either wrecks him to tire him out enough to fall asleep, or wake him up so they can leave for their mission. I feel like for as reserved & out together as Owen is, if you mess with his sleep he turns into such a bitch, so tickles are a must to ensure a chipper mood!

LSVSAIZBANQ THAT’S SO CUTE OMGGG I LOVE THAT! Like he’s so sick & tired of Owen wrecking him when he leasts expects it & wants some well deserved revenge. Barb keeps telling him she has real work to do & can’t just make him a toy whenever he wants (“it’s NOT a toy Barb, it’s a serious interrogation tool!” “Mhm & why do you want it?” “So I can give Owen a taste of his own damn medicine” “sorry, no😌”)

P.S. yeah she plans to use it on Curt to test it out, but it goes deeper in that. She knows that once she gives it to him, he’s gonna have to test it out on HER & she knows from experience he’s an evil little shit who likes to bully her. So she has her reasons to be hesitant

Bruh don’t even get me STARTED on that! I wish I could’ve seen it so damn bad, I would literally give an arm & a leg to see it live! But holy shit I might actually die of embarrassment if I saw that scene in person, especially if they had a fucking feather like in the filmed version. Like just kill me now, but I will rewatch that scene to my heart’s content within my own home lol

In fact, it has been quite some time since I’ve seen it. Thanks for reminding me!

[skribblz]

Discoveries

Haven’t written in like months so yeahhh. and I already spent a lot of time on this so I couldn’t pair it with a sketch :p 

An arrow whistles through the air, sharpened rock driving through the coarse wood. The owner frowns, a sigh escaping his lips as his arms relax back to his sides. 

Missed again.

Ukyo stares at the scatter of arrows sticking out of their round target, each and every one stubbornly refusing to pierce the red circle painted smack dab in the center. Maybe it was because he skipped breakfast? Or perhaps it was the wind, or the noisy birds that sometimes cluttered his hearing. It’s actually pretty damn miraculous that none of his shots hit its intended mark. Today was just not his day.

The crunch of leaves and the soft patter of footsteps quickly pulled him out of his thoughts. Senku and Gen. Incredible ears allowed him to recognize the footsteps of the village chief and mentalist duo.

“-been working me to the bone! I’ve had to scramble between you and Kaseki-chan this whole morning because of one of your crazy projects!” Gen lectures, “I’m tired and you owe me a bottle of cola.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Senku waves off, an infuriating smirk spreading across his face. “Though your complaining may offset all that ‘back-breaking labor’ you’ve put in huh, Mentalist?”

“How rude!” An airy voice huffs, but Ukyo can tell there was no bite in that statement.

The bushes rustle as the pair came into sight, Senku with his pinky stuck in his ear and a pouting Gen right beside him. “Ah! Ukyo-chan! We’re about have lunch now.” Gen chirps, quickly changing his mood, “You haven’t eaten right?”

The archer was about to speak, but his stomach conveniently cut him off with a growl. “Ah...yeah.” The two words stumbling out of his mouth. 

Ukyo may have been able to catch his fake impersonation of Lillian, but Gen doesn’t fail to notice the slight frown and tension in the white-haired boy’s posture. One look at the target embedded with a dozen arrows, all missing the middle red mark, was enough for the magician to understand. 

The three start heading back to the village; Senku in front, eager to return to his experiments, with Gen and Ukyo right behind. “So what brings you two out here? I thought our village chief would never leave his lab.”

“Just thought some fresh air would be nice. Can’t stay cooped up in there forever, so I dragged him out.” Gen nodded wisely, eyes then narrowing with mischief. “It’s like walking a dog, or making sure your grandpa gets enough exercise.”

“The 1079 seconds I’ve spent walking here could’ve contributed towards making your cola, y’know.” Senku states loudly.

Gen jolts. “Why were you even counting in the first place, Senku-chan...” 

Ukyo laughs softly at the two, and Gen decides that this current expression suited him much better than the previous gloomy one. And a wonderful idea comes to mind. Like a snake, his hand latches onto Ukyo’s side to give a few squeezes. The boy squeaks, emerald eyes nervously darting toward’s the offending hand.

“Oh~? Ticklish perhaps?”

“No! No, I was just- surprised.” And Gen just smirks, giving Ukyo no time to react as he pounces, wrestling to be on top.

“Oh Senku-chaaan, won’t you help me cheer up our dear friend here?” The magician calls, capturing one of Ukyo’s hand in his as the other starts kneading into the archer’s stomach. Ukyo immediately barks out a laugh, ears tinted with pink as his own giggles flooded the forest. “NOHOHohoo! No!”

Senku looks back in slight surprise and interest. He figured Gen would do something about Ukyo’s saddened state, but he never expected the mentalist to be this hand-on. Senku shrugs away the thoughts, why not join in all the fun? “Well, I can’t overwork one of my labor sources if they’re all dejected.” 

“Ah, blunt as always, our chief.” Gen dramatically sighs, but then grins as Senku walks over, settling himself behind Ukyo’s head. “Be a dear and hold these for me will you?” He smiles sweetly, allowing Senku to firmly grasp Ukyo’s wrists. Of course the trapped boy tries to squirm his way out, but once those devious fingers returned to scribble at his sides, it felt like his strength was being sapped away. “Wait! Wahaahait!”

Ukyo is very glad that he’s the one with crazy hearing and not someone else in the village, because knows someone will pick up on his peals of laughter. And it didn’t help that Gen was unfairly meticulous with his attack. With Ukyo’s hands pretty much out of the way, his fingers sought out every spot, each receiving a reaction that ranged from smothered chuckles to full-blown, head-thrown-back, honest laughter. 

“Ohh such a bright voice, how adorable.” The magician coos as he flutters his digits around the archer’s neck, earning a weird stare from Senku. Gen just sticks his tongue in retaliation, but it’s not like Ukyo can pay attention to the interaction anyways since he’s being tickled to death. “You’re always so soft-spoken and reserved. How amusing it is to see- or I guess hear- this side of you, Ukyo-chan!”

“NahahAHT! Nahat amUhuhusing! NOHOHOT THEHEHERE!”

“Just see it as payback for almost shooting me with an arrow that one time!” Gen grins devilishly, relentlessly clawing at the boy’s sides. “I was soooo scared!” And Ukyo only laughs in response, his own chortles interrupting each attempt to speak. 

“I- Ihihi waHAHA-!”

“Hmm? What was that?” 

“Wahahasn’t aiming aHAHat youhuhu!”

“Bet he wishes he had driven that arrow right through your head now.” Senku snickers, and Gen glares back.

“Hey! You’re in this too, so you’d be next, Senku-chan.” 

The two continue bickering, but the speed of Gen’s hands doesn’t let up. Even with his attention divided, the mentalist is scary good at eliciting those sweet giggles. Sometimes he’ll use a lighter touch and then increase the pressure, causing Ukyo’s laughter to go up and down. Other times his fingers will lightly tease an area, just to randomly shoot somewhere else, keeping Ukyo guessing. 

It was until the boy’s voice has gotten a little raspy that Gen knew when to stop. The magician wasn’t trying to kill his friend, so he pulled back with a smile, allowing Ukyo to greedily gasp for air. “Hope you’re not sulking anymore, or else...” Gen trails off ominously, wiggling his fingers.

A bit light-headed, Ukyo nods vigorously, body going limp as he continued to get his breathing under control. “You hah...you guys are terrible.”

Gen chuckles, standing up to stretch, “I know! Senku-chan is such a meanie right? Let me know if you want revenge.” He winks.

“Huh? Again, this whole thing was your doing, Mentalist.” Senku smirks challengingly, “Ukyo, let’s teach him a lesson. Chief’s orders.” 

“Ehh? That’s no fair.”

The three then break out laughing, the atmosphere light and refreshing. 

“Hey, thanks by the way. It sucked, but I’m feeling a bit better now.” Ukyo says, pushing himself up into a sitting position.

“Mhm, and I’m hungry so let’s get going.” 

“Anything to help.” Gen purrs smugly, and Ukyo is very keen on wiping that look off his face. The magician reaches out a hand, and Ukyo takes it, pulling himself up while yanking Gen down to fall on top of Senku. The white-haired boy, face still a bit flushed from the tickle treatment, couldn’t help but snicker as he patted himself off.

“I can hear your heartbeats quicken when you’re near each other, by the way.” Ukyo smiles down at the pair, mischief lighting up his eyes as he watched his friends scramble off each other, red crawling up their necks. “See you guys back at the village!”

[frostbeees]

"marry me" with TK and Patty?

so this has turned into a whole thing. so, babes, here’s a snippet of the prompt marry me which has become “like a summer day” which is currently only ~1700 words but nowhere near done. i can’t give you the actual part hat includes the prompt bc it’s too “spoilery” but i started with that scene and then it just snowballed

“I think if hockey wasn’t an option, I’d just want to be wherever you are, y’know. I’d figure something else out. Maybe I’d coach. Or maybe I’d go back to school or like foster dogs or something.”

Travis feels paralyzed, but by an emotion he can’t name. He stares at Nolan who’s just staring right back at him.

“It’s stupid, nevermind,” Nolan mumbles. And Travis hates that. He knows that Nolan only mumbles around him if he’s feeling embarrassed.

“No, I like that,” Travis says as he gets up out of his chair. He gently lowers himself into Nolan’s lap, looping his hands into the pocket of Nolan’s hoodie. “I’d make sure you were always taken care of. And your dogs, if that’s what you want.”

i’m already having so much fun writing this and i can’t wait to get more done.

[dancer-me]

Fic Writer Questions

@hopeintheashes tagged me (that was pleasantly surprising, so YAY) as well as anyone who wants to play (so if you want do - just do it!!!) 1) How many works do you have on AO3?

I have nine!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

106,461! I broke 100,000 on AO3 and didn't notice =O

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

For posted fanfiction, I have written for 5 fandoms at this point. Naruto (this was my early days, around 2007 to 2015, with pretty huge gaps inbetwen), Merlin (oops), High Seas (just the one small fic because Netflix had me angsting hard enough to break my hiatus), and of course 9-1-1 and 9-1-1 Lone Star!

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Express to Nowhere (911 / 911 Lone Star) 2. Giving up Ground (911 / 911 Lone Star) 3. Quarter Life Crisis (911) 4. Pull me Under (911) 5. Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You (911)

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I hesitate to say this about a WIP but I'm pretty sure it's going to be Giving up Ground when it's done. Not that it's going to have a sad ending, but that it's part of a continuous series and I already have the next part planned out and partially started (titled "Overdrawn" for anyone interested) so it will leave things feeling hopeful but open-ended, which can be construed as angsty. But really, all my other stories, while they have angst for the most part, have happy endings because I'm a sucker for it. Chaotic Energy is slow burning itself to the happiest of endings.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Hmm... I think it's Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You! This story was just such a fun blast of drama, hijinks, and hilarity, with our two leads getting their love story at the end of it all :) All my completed works have very happy endings, but this one resonates because there really wasn't any angst at all in the whole thing. Just good fun!

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

The only cross-over I have ever written or been compelled to write in my life has been with 9-1-1 and 9-1-1: Lone Star, and that's my Chaotic Energy series. I don't know if it's "crazy", though it's turning out to be crazy long, since my original plan for it was 5 separate one-shots and Captain, that ship has long since sailed. We're deep at sea now, SOS. I love what it's become, though, and I hope everyone who reads it is enjoying the journey :)

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Weeeeeeeeell. Here's the thing. I wrote m/f smut back in the day, on ff.net and carried my one shots over to AO3 when I made the move. I'm talking way back in the day - those two "E" stories are dated 2015 but I actually originally posted them in 2011 - TEN years ago!! I haven't written smut since (I'm not counting TK and Carlos getting frisky in chapter 2 of Giving up Ground). It's not that I wouldn't, but that I haven't been inspired and with time somehow I have also become ragingly self-conscious over whether I could still do a good job. My smut has always been emotion based though, as I've never been able to truly go PWP. That said, I'm actively open to and considering some m/m smut for my current fandom. Fingers crossed I don't embarrass myself.

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do on all my recent work on AO3 (basically my 9-1-1 and lone star fics that I've written since coming out of hiatus).

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not on any of my AO3 work, though I have received hate on my much older work on ff.net to varying degrees of reasonability. So far the AO3 community has been very kind to me! I’ll get some comments where I think readers had hoped I’d go in a different direction, but nothing has ever been too much.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! Imitation is the greatest form of flattery but also no, stop, don’t do that.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, actually! I wrote my first ever published fic for Naruto called “Stand Alone” back between 2007 and 2011 (took a couple years off in the middle there to, you know, finish high school…) that someone asked me if they could translate into Russian. At the time I thought that was super cool, and it still is, but now I look back at that story and I think oof, now we can cringe at it in multiple languages. (more on that later)

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I’m not opposed to it! I’ve seen some excellent fic partnerships and it’s so great seeing writers leverage the creativity and talents of their friends and peers.

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Y’know, before 9-1-1, it was Merlin x Arthur, but Buck x Eddie have 110% of my heart and attention now.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

On the topic of Merlin… I started writing “The Quest for the Knife” back in 2015 at the peak of my Merlin fixation after painstakingly planning it out. I have pages upon pages of outlines and notes for a 14 chapter adventure… somewhere. I found a piece of it like an archeological dig when I was moving this pandemic season, but the rest seems lost to time. I’m sad because I had gotten so excited about it and loved my first two chapters, but I don’t think I’ll ever finish it. I might take it down so I can stop wallowing in guilt.

16) What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I write good action / adventure scenes and plot lines, because I love painting vivid pictures of what I see playing out in my head whenever I think through my stories. I like to incorporate subtle (and not so subtle) humour as well in my work, which is born from my very active internal narrator voice as I go through my day-to-day and try to find the humour in everything. I also like to make outlines before all my bigger stories too, which ‘usually’ means I avoid cringey plot holes and can make some fun connections.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

*looks at the camera very seriously* writing convincing smut. Well, that, and the kind of emotional, flirty love and fluff that I love devouring in fics. I don’t think I do nearly as good a job there. Get in a character’s head and angst them up? Sure. Wax poetic in a convincing and not jarring way about how much Character A is in love with Character B without making it seem like it was a bit too much of a leap? Debatable.

Also… I tend to require my readers to suspend a lot of disbelief to enjoy my fics with elements of adventure, because I tend to do exactly 5 minutes of Google research for something before I decide I’ve had enough and go ahead.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Here we revisit the cringe of “Stand Alone,” where I tried in the first half (the 2007 portion) to incorporate Japanese since I watched the anime in Japanese and felt this was the best way to try and have the character’s voices come off the page. It… is really just a big ol’ cringe, because I didn’t know the language, and I definitely didn’t use suffixes right at ALL. So… I tend to avoid it personally because I don’t want to cringe at how wrong my use of other languages is.

But if it fits you, your story, fits your character, and you know the language confidently enough to not embarrass yourself? You do you *carefully side steps around discourse and leaves the room*

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Naruto!

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I think it has to be “Express to Nowhere” these days. It was wanting to write that fic that pulled me out of hiatus and helped me find joy in writing and sharing my work again, and I have nothing but love for it and how it turned out.

Holy Cow I was warned that this level of introspection was going to take a minute but whew this was a good chunk of time. Fun to do and think about though!

Tagging: @221bsunsettowers, @onelonelytortillachip, @blueeyedbuckley and anyone who sees this and thinks, "hey, I have an answer for these questions." Because I am madly curious and would love to see your take!

[bigbrotherlouis]

i would love a directors cut for the first scrimmage scene from kinda like that this ends in smoke!

boy oh boy okay. i was very conscious while writing that this scene needed to do A Lot: it needed to establish, at least a little, what is standing in for a hockey game, establish the team fighting dynamic, and showcase patty’s powers. that last one, in particular, needed to be really sharp because it sets up the conflict and conceit for the rest of the fic, which is: it’s dangerous for patty to be touched. (original)

They’re close to the last people in the training room, wandering into the nearly full space. Nolan goes pink when everyone stops to look at him, the whole team in their blacks and oranges, the support staff in their whites and navies. (i had a whole world of worldbuilding that i wanted to do with this fic but my momentum got cut off in exactly the wrong way at exactly the wrong time. i might revisit it in the future, but by the end i was just trying to get everything DONE) It’s a clear delineation of team and not team, and Nolan seems to have picked the wrong colour. TK could’ve fucking told him.

“You could’ve told me,” he hisses and peers through the onset blurry confusion. (really enjoyed putting thought into what different emotions could manifest as! confusion makes everything blurry!) 

“Told you… oh. No, it’s chill. You’re new and usually it doesn’t matter if you’re in uniform.”

It makes him stand out more, a target on his back. An anomaly. He scowls at his shoes, breathing through the restless energy that’s taken up residence in the room. (nolan being set apart, by choice or not, is a big theme) If he didn’t know better, he would’ve thought there was a storm coming, that Laughts had let his lightning go.

The last person on the team must finally find their way in because the door snicks shut with a click audible over the quiet talking. It’s like a signal, the way everyone goes quiet and swings their head in Nolan’s direction. It feels like being pinned and, for a split second, all he can feel is the overwhelming lilt of his own fear. It’s so strong, he half-wonders if he’s projecting or intaking, if someone nearby is getting hunted. (being the new guy is scary)

“Nolan Patrick,” something crackles over the speakers and Nolan flinches. “Welcome to the team.”

There’s a whooping that goes up from the boys, loud and unexpected. TK yells with them and looks like he’s a split second away from elbowing him in the side.

A black-suited figure comes down, one that Nolan recognizes as Coach, with Claude at his shoulder. He nods instead of extending his hand to shake. Nolan inclines his head back.

“Now, Patrick. We’ll get you back in the lab for individual testing soon enough, but we usually like to do the introductory session with everyone else, helps everyone know what they’re working with. No one’s going to intentionally hurt you, so don’t do any permanent damage.” (i did not want to write boring testing and wanted to get to the good part, so i made it work)

“I’ll try not to,” Nolan says after a second.

“Scrimmage first. You’re with Claude. Divide up, boys.” He yells the last part and the crowd starts to split between oranges and charcoals, lining up against opposite walls of the oval-shaped room. TK gives him a mischievous smile and then disappears, reappearing down at the other side of the long, long hall.

“Don’t be nervous, kid,” Claude says quietly, duly scanning the room as he takes in his team. He’s excited, Nolan can feel it patter against his skin like raindrops. “It’s all good fun, eh?”

“It’s training.” (nolan and claude’s dynamic is so important to me personally)

He smiles, sharp. “Fun training. Low stakes.”

Easy for him to say, he’s not being watched by a hundred pairs of eyes from every side, waiting to watch him fail. He doesn’t bother to say this.

“Just don’t get too close to Laughton. Or Coots.”

“I don’t know who Coots is,” he mumbles and Claude snickers, shifting his weight. There’s a warning whistle.

“Alright, Nolan. Are you defensive or offensive?” (i wanted to preserve some structure from hockey so it’s not so different. i messed with lines a little because i couldn’t think of a good reason why defense/offense shouldn’t be mixed, but i genuinely tried to keep people’s positioning consistent  with their real life position)

Nolan frowns deeper. “Uh, neither?” Claude swings around to look at him in surprise and he feels his shoulders inching up towards his ears. “Or maybe both,” he offers. “Not sure.”

Claude stares at him for a second. “You were second in the Academy and you don’t even know what’s your positioning?” (i actually couldn’t decide if nolan’s ability was more defense or offense, so i handwaved it)

Nolan chews on his cheek for a second. His ability isn’t so easy to position, isn’t so easy to fit into a designation. It‘s part of what makes him wanted. “Well… yeah. I guess.”

He mutters something that sounds like French and then heaves a sigh.

“Okay, just… don’t get flattened. Or shocked. (foreshadowing!) And don’t permanently harm anyone, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Stay behind me if you need protection but watch out for people coming around back. TK’s sneaky like that.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t hit anyone in orange.”

“I won’t,” Nolan says and Claude grins at him again.

“Watch out for JVR’s teeth.” (this is just claude messing with him)

“I don’t know who anyone is,” he reminds him, mildly exasperated, just as the second whistle goes, and the entire room explodes into furious movement.

Nolan’s done scrimmages like this before, of course he has, but it’s different this time. Different when it’s people who know their boundaries, know their abilities, and aren’t just trying to figure it all out. (i needed a reason for nolan to not keep his cool later, and this seemed as good as a reason as any) No one screams because they got hit by a too-strong blast, or shorts out in the middle of the neutral zone, or collapses. (the flip side is, of course, i then needed to describe the difference between juniors/the real thing) Instead, the two sides flow together like water, easy and fluid, as the sounds of a fight start up. It tastes like ozone again, sweetened by eagerness and fondness. They’re having fun, Nolan realises, like G said.

The two of them hang at the back of their crowd, a thin edge of frustration coming from Claude, and he knows that they’re in the back for him, that Claude usually is up front, leading. (claude likes to play, in every universe)

“We can—” he starts and cuts himself off when a… something… lands in front of them. Claude’s grin turns delighted, eager, hungry.

“Oh, a rematch, ya fuckin’ pigeon?” G says and the monster chirps, sharp teeth snapping. “You’re fucking on.”  (i chose JVR’s ability purely to make this joke. every power in here is either carefully chosen for plot reasons, or to make a joke)

“Uh,” says Nolan.

“Watch my back,” he manages to shout and then he’s launching himself at the creature. Nolan whirls around and watches his back.

“So you’re defensive,” says TK, appearing in front of him with a blink. He’s unwrapping a protein bar. (speedsters eating all the time is one of my favourite tropes) “Interesting.”

“I’m not— anything.”

“Okay, Mr. Number Two In The Academy,” he teases back, half garbled from the food in his mouth. “Are you supposed to be guarding?”

“I guess?”

TK snorts. “Let’s see what you can do, pretty boy.” (he’s watched too many bad superhero movies)

He blurs and Nolan feels something crash into his body, an impossible weight that nearly pushes him over. He gets his feet under him just in time, manages to stumble instead of fall, and TK is in the place he just vacated. (this served a lot of purposes! it slows down the fight scene a little so it paces correctly, gives a little more insight into both how TK processes scrimmages and his characterisation a little, and it gives them more time to build rapport.)

“Think I can distract your captain long enough for JVR to pin him?”

“I think you would’ve done it already if that was your plan,” Nolan answers, just as a hand clamps down on his shoulder. TK wasn’t lying about being a distraction, then. “Fuck,” he sputters out and the hand drives him down, impossibly heavy. (there’s a lot of potential abilities that could’ve sparked this reaction-- we see laughts do it later-- but i needed something not permanently damaging but still dire. i know later i say provy’s invulnerable, because that would be a quick way to explain for people, but what’s really going on here is that he’s controlling his density, and that’s what makes him hard to hurt.)  Without thinking, he wraps his own fingers around the strange wrist and opens up the connection, funnels everything he can through his palm, and lets loose.

His attacker screams. (a scream and a short sentence like this is a very effective tool in communicating the gravity of a situation.)

There’s a whistle and the whole room freezes, everyone turning to look at the two of them. Nolan’s on his knees and the man is hunched over him, only upright because of his knees braced against Nolan’s back and his fingers in a death grip on Nolan’s shoulder. (figuring out the physical positioning for this was fun)

Nolan can barely see, can barely process anything through the overwhelming shock radiating from every angle, and the terror rebounding between him and his attacker, getting stronger with every bounce. It’s black like oil, all-consuming as it slides across his vision and down his throat, tasting like sulfur. Everyone always said that fire-and-brimstone was anger, but to Nolan, it’s always been the scentflavourfeeling of pure, unadulterated fear. (okay, this is really what i wanted to show with this scene: exactly how dangerous nolan is and how that danger presents. people are wary of him because he can tell their emotions, but even though that’s embarrassing, the fact that he can control their emotions to the point where they forget everything else is where he gets truly scary. that’s why people don’t touch him. he’s also been trained to react on instinct to do the worst damage possible as fast as possible, and paralyzing fear is gonna get him there every time) He chokes, bends over his thighs, as the weight bears down on him. He’s going to be crushed by a stranger slash teammate on his first day. What a way to go. How embarrassing. (a moment of levity to showcase the danger, and to stay true to nolan’s character.)

He lets go out of self-preservation when his forehead bumps his knees, bracing both his hands against the ground, and there’s a burst of awe that cuts through everything like a beam of sunlight. (a clear contrast to the oil description a paragraph earlier) When he looks up, follows the feeling, TK’s eyes are wide.

“But Provy’s invulnerable,” someone says, stunned, and he wrenches himself away, sliding sideways so his attacker— Provy, apparently— can slump to the ground. Nolan’s on his back, staring at everyone who’s staring at him.

“I—” he starts and then stops, licking his lips. His brain is so fried, too much going through his body. It’s a lot of strong feelings, too many for all his defences, and it’s overwhelming. He tries again. “I.” (i don’t know if anyone notices but i do try to adjust my spelling to the spelling the narrator would use)

“Holy shit, Pat,” TK breathes. Provy groans and Nolan refocusses for a moment, touches his arm just long enough to push contentment through, enough to drive away the horror that lingers. It’s as much for Nolan as it is for Provy, clears away the rest of the black oil. “What did you do?” (trying to establish that patty’s not an asshole and

“If that’s number two,” Claude says, “then I don’t want to see what the number one can do.”

Nico can control fire, and can control it really well. It’s pretty sick to see. He deserved the number one. (someone asked me if this is because he went to the devils-- no, that’s just a coincidence lol i just needed a power that was conceivably more powerful than nolan’s) 

Provy pops his head up. He’s younger than Nolan thought, closer to his age and TK’s than Claude’s. He’s grinning, inexplicably. (the duality of provy-kind)

“That was incredible,” he says, and the happiness tastes like Nolan’s own. (worldbuilding!) Inorganic, but it’s the most he can do after putting the guy on his back. “But fuck, I never want to do that again.”

“So,” Coach says, shouldering his way through the crowd. Gingerly, Nolan sits up. “Provorov’s invulnerable to most physical attacks—”

“Haven’t been flattened in years,” Provy interrupts happily. Coach cuts a look at him and he snaps his mouth closed. (he’s still just a kiiiiid they’re all so young)

“—and the new kid comes in and does what no one else has done for years. What the fuck do you have sparking under your skin, bud?”

Nolan swallows. Abilities are weird. People are weird about them, even those who have them too, when it comes to ones like his. (patty being set apart, yet again!) It’s one thing to have some sort of physical power, one that you can turn off most of the time, and entirely another to be able to mess with people’s heads. He kept that shit under lock, as much as he could, even through the Academy. It’s normal to not reveal abilities to the teams, helps keep things secure and confidential. It’s why the rankings exist, so the teams spread out across the continent know a little how to prepare. Now that he’s placed, he should be able to talk about it. Could speak freely, if he wanted, but. But.

Anticipation tastes a lot like metal, that much different from the ozone of adrenaline. A complement. Nolan’s mouth is filled with the iron flavour of it as the whole room waits out to hear what he’s going to say. He licks his lips again, tastes it stronger.

“Empath,” he says quietly, and feels the emotions in the room change like the air before a storm. “I’m an empath.”

For a second, everything is too heightened and chaotic to make sense of, the team readjusting with the new information, and then it all settles into something understandable. The cherry-bright smell of curiosity, confusion blurring the sides of the room, fear and anxiety joining the anticipation on his tongue. There’s satisfaction too, humming gently against Nolan’s body, but he can’t figure out where it’s coming from just yet. (the satisfaction is coming from coach, claude, and tk, all for different reasons, but it also hints at emotions from different people having their own tint)

“Oh,” Provy drags out, running a hand through his hair. “That makes a lot of sense.”

“Touch-based?” Coach presses.

“To transmit emotions, yeah,” he says. “Not, uh. Not for input, though.”

“Input, like—”

“Like I can tell what you’re feeling. All the time, as long as you’re near me,” he says and closes his eyes against the shift that causes too.

“Well,” Coach says after a moment. “Looks like we have some readjusting to do.”

and that’s the end of that segment! i don’t know if i accomplished everything i wanted to, but i certainly tried. i really liked how this came out-- it was punchy without being too long and not too many info-dumps. very nice @ me. i think packing a bunch of emotion in (as was necessary, given nolan’s superpower) and taking time to explain it was really helpful for the pacing. also it let me get away without trying to figure out so much  emotion. thank you!

[rekkingcrew]

Campaign Debrief

So for nearly 2 years I ran an Edge of the Empire campaign with 3-4 players, mostly weekly. These last couple of months we’ve been using discord, which has gone great. I want to get down some of my thoughts about what worked and what didn’t. 

This is gonna be a big wall of text and all but two bits are gonna be under the cut: system and play style. 

Fantasy Flight Star Wars game system is legit my favorite system EVER. (Not to dick wave or anything, but that’s including D&Ds 2-5, Gurps, White Wolf, Blades in the Dark, Dungeon World, Deadlands, and a few miscellaneous other short form ones). The system of advantages and disadvantages, and especially triumphs and despairs rather than just straight successes and failures really opens up complex narrative opportunities and gives a chance for wild story beats that just would not have happened otherwise. The fights go fast but feel meaty and there’s a lot of room to pitch advantages to your friends so you’re not just waiting your turn. Character creation is granular enough that your choices always feel meaningful, and points can be spent anywhere, so you can really specialize and shape your character. 

We played very collaboratively and it made things AMAZING. Part of this is that we were all good friends and have played together for a while now. Our taste in what kind of story we want is similar- nuggets of drama scattered throughout, but mostly cutting up. A lot of the best NPCs and story suggestions came from my players rather than from me- our season one boss villain, Imperial spymaster “Uncle” Karston Severax, a pantoran ex-special forces black operative whose current public face was a Mr. Rogers-esque children’s TV presenter, for example, was someone my players started out and all of us collective “yes and” added to around the table, and he was JUST THE BEST. These kind of exchanges also gave us moments like the time our tech tried to blackmail the head of a security corporation with the fact that he was having an affair and he’d written just LOADS of incredibly cringey fanfiction; but the roll was such that the attempt ended with him finally getting the push he needed to quit a job he hated, get out of a marriage that just wasn’t working, and follow his dream of self-publishing. He even dedicated his first book to our slicer. Because it wasn’t a DM vs Players atmosphere, because we were all on the same page, I could ask my players “hey, what do you want for your triumph?” and “all right, so who is the NPC you know?” as well as just “that’s enough to finish this guy, what does this look like?” This campaign was 1000% better for sharing that world building load, and the players were all, I think, more invested. 

more below the cut. 

What Worked

One of the most useful things I ever did was start giving players morality pet NPCs that were their special hench people, and I’m embarrassed that I waited so long to assign one to our droid. 

The zero session was absolutely invaluable in setting the tone of the game and the relationship between characters, and I will bang this drum until I’m fucking blue in the face. Don’t meet in the first session. Sit the players down and say “how do you know each other, why do you stay together, what are some of your past adventures?” It’s just so much better. 

Cameos and ties to our other games, in what we’ve been calling “The Drax Kreiger Expanded Universe” have continued to be welcome pretty much every time. People were delighted to have a moment or two to slip back into old characters. 

I was able to identify what each player wanted and give them that. Brick’s player wanted quiet scenes with big character emotion, like his one on one pit fight the character didn’t want to have, or the letter from his mother telling him how proud she was of him, or the time in training where he tapped into how angry he really was and it spooked the character and everyone on the ship. Nyla’s player wanted a big epic, but also difficult space journey of good vs. evil, and so Nyla got a padawan whose parents she had possibly killed when she fought for the empire, she dug up the grave of her clone teacher’s order 66′d jedi for the crystal for her lightsaber, she got to cleanse a temple that was trapped in a fruitless struggle between light and dark, and a climactic lightsaber battle that was about possibly sacrificing herself for the good of others. TK’s player was deep into star wars trivia and space stuff, so he practically squealed when Verpine shatter weapons showed up, and he seemed to get a kick out of the Evocii, and also that time they put on wing suits and dove the atmosphere of a gas giant. It’s worth noting nobody was actually all that interested in the thing that turns my gears: complex mysteries with a lot of clues and investigation, and once I let that shit drop, things ran a lot smoother. 

Some of our best stuff was non-combat challenges, like climbing the cliffs of Naboo or navigating the deep undercity of Nar Shadaa. The guys reliably failed anything social, but environmental challenges were always appreciated. 

I always tried to make sure there was more than one way to do things. For any given mission, especially early on, I’d try to brainstorm at least three ways something could be accomplished. 

My party split up a LOT, but we found a sort of cinematic cutting back and forth to be really useful. When there was a big crit, or a goal accomplished, or something like that, we’d jump to the other party even if the fight wasn’t over. Sometimes that was only just, like, Brick and the guys doing drunk karaoke and saying to no one in particular “MAN, I hope Nyla’s having as fun a time as we are!” but it kept everyone involved and it wasn’t just people waiting their turn for 20 minutes at a time. Also people chimed in with fun advantages and disadvantages. 

I had everybody write backstories and whenever I could, I incorporated in things from what they’d written. Our second season was basically TK tracking down the guy who’d made him, a Thackwash alien with the same sort of shifting personalities he had. TK’s player hadn’t written much about the guy except that he’d been a salvage mechanic who constructed TK for protection when he got in trouble with the local mafia. Giving that guy complementary personalities for each of TK’s really helped stick the landing on that one, and the player really enjoyed having actually completed his character’s goal. 

It’s worth saying, we took some time at several points during the campaign, either individually or as a group, to talk about what we liked and didn’t, what we wanted more of, where we wanted things to go, possible directions for characters, mechanical issues, how to have a better game, group dynamics, all sorts of stuff. In a way it’s like sex: people have this fucked up expectation that you’ll just be good at it without communicating, and man, fuck that. Talking to my players was ALWAYS worthwhile.

I was always adamant, because it was a thing that bugged me when I was a player, that if a character had spent the points to be good at something, they got to be good at it. That made some things difficult, but I think it was the right decision. It took me a while to tailor fights right, and honestly a lot of times, splitting up the party was the best way to balance fights, but I never said to anyone hey that thing you spent all those points on, could you please not do that?

My players were excellent about encouraging each other to have serious dramatic moments. TK was completely ready to die in a fight, and when he lost a significant chunk of his programming, the way he chose to play it was really heartbreaking. Everyone came inside and had tea with Brick’s mom. No one stepped on anyone else’s fun when it was time to be serious, and everybody was great about cheering each other on, whether they were being funny or being dead serious. 

I FUCKING FINISHED A CAMPAIGN. IT HAD AN END. So much stuff petered out over the years, I was adamant I wasn’t going to do that. 

What Didn’t Work

Boy, my players had pretty much all the trouble trying to remember to use “they/them” pronouns for NPCs with neutral or alien genders. 

No one is interested in falling damage. Sigh. 

I did not keep good track of money or ship fuel or anything. The campaign didn’t end up relying on it too heavily (I was honestly expecting a much more Cowboy Bebop setup than where we drifted), but that was an area I kind of fell down. 

We never really got obligation working correctly and in the end we just ended up abandoning it. We kept doing the force morality because the lone force player was very into it and it was a huge part of that character’s journey, but for the rest having people show up to collect on obligation was sometimes not possible in the story- or if it was possible it was pretty cumbersome. Campaign did obligation by arc, and I think that’s a pretty useful way to do it- roll at the end of the arc for what’s coming next. 

Early on, I made way too many assumptions about what was an adventure hook for my players and what was an annoyance. Honestly, bits of this lasted pretty late. At one point I gave my players a spy for the larger rebellion they could totally talk to- he was even working with their resident bothan spy- but they looked at the senatorial assassination he was doing and literally said at the table “I think it’s best if we just walk away from all this.” And so they did. Which was frustrating, but, you know, it is what it is. They also never much cared about the hutt gang war. 

I let a lot of things drop that I would have liked to bring back before the end, but in all honesty, I think we were all running a bit out of steam. I would have liked to put in Brick’s old mentor, or follow up with the imperial governor that was a falleen in a human skin suit, or see more of the bounty hunter’s guild, or have a nice end thing with our bothan spy, or any of that. But I do think it was time to end it. And we followed the threads people liked. 

I had way too many NPCS.

What sort of worked

I had like 200 npcs and they were not all bangers. In particular, I let the party design their own ship, which I wish had played a bigger role (though it did really set the tone), and I let them design 2 npc crew who would fill in any party roles they didn’t want to play and guard the ship so they could go on adventures without worrying about it. The devaronian scoundrel was with the party to the end though I never really got him to be more than a joke, but the bothan spy kind of fell off, and while she made some appearances, she didn’t really have as big an impact as I would have hoped. She kind of got replaced by Nyla’s padawan, a hench mon calamari called Nezrene, who was a better fit with the party. But, you know, players will do what they like.

Factions. In the first bit of the campaign, my factions were a fucking life saver, because I could design scenarios with a sort of “what is each faction doing/ which faction hurts from this, which benefits?” By the second season we’d kind of abandoned them to go to the core, and by the third my group was solidly rebel, so the hutts and bounty hunters fell a lot by the wayside. I still think having a couple of broad poles of power, and having the players know them and their leaders, is a good call. But they do seem to kind of organically pare down on their own, and it’s easy to get caught up too much in them. Useful sorta?

There was definitely a point where my players just were not challenged by conventional challenges. We ended up doing most of the later fights that involved a lot of minions in montage. I’d have them roll their fight skills unopposed, just to see if they got any interesting advantage/triumph set ups. I still had boss fights that were mostly challenging, but there just was no point in throwing storm troopers or low level gangsters at them. Not when they have soak 8 and autofire, and that one talent that lets you kill every minion in a combat. Designings fight got a bit tricky, and in those big high level combats, despairs and triumphs come up a lot more and really sway the fight, which I like, but also it’s very hard to plan for. 

Mass combat was tricky. I did a lot of it toward the end because my players were generals in a rebellion. I always had them do the rolls and some of the narration, but that wasn’t always enough to make them feel like things weren’t very arbitrary. 

I personally love the rule that if you roll a despair shooting into an engaged combat you shoot your friend. Nyla, who got shot twice this way, does not. 

We started the game with a tech character who dropped out. Toward the end, we picked up another tech character whose player couldn’t do their regular stuff because of covid lock down. Neither of these characters could fight at all, and both were very differently oriented than the rest of the party, and that was tricky to manage. Additionally, the dude coming in at the end had like a year and a half of in jokes he did not get and there were 200 goddamn npcs. I tried to give him the lowdown on what he might have heard about the party, but it was a combination of too much information and not that much player interest. He did get to break a star destroyer though, and I think he liked that. 

I offered players XP to write backstory stuff, and later goodbye notes others could find if they kicked it. Not all of them did. In the end it made a negligible difference, and I still think offering the bounties on this is basically a good idea. 

What I would do different next time.

Three ring binder that opens and closes so I could move fucking NPC stats around. I filled two goddamn school notebooks with notes for this campaign and there were so many goddamn times I was like “I KNOW I wrote this down, but where?!”

Players felt a bit aimless when they didn’t have a specific villain. I’d planted a few in, but they took finding, or they were too easy to avoid. Next time I would have a few more people who were actively on my player’s tails. 

I would keep better campaign notes and/or ask one of the players to do so. I used to do recaps for the games when I played Rek. There’s stuff I KNOW I’ve forgotten, and more I’ll forget as time goes on, which is a shame. It’s a weird, ephemeral medium, but possibly I’m just spoiled by living in an age of easy reproduction and enormous storage where data is concerned. 

Better book keeping in general, really. 

When I did a mystery short, I wrote up a list of all the clues people could find but not where specifically they were, so that I could just jam them anywhere they seemed like they’d make sense whenever a roll called for a player to find something. I think I’d try to do that with player’s personal stories so they could be woven in a little better. I did a lot of flying by the seat of my pants. 

All in all, I’m pretty happy with how it went, and I’m ready to get back to playing for a bit. I loved DMing, and I more or less DMed the game I would have liked to play, but man, doing this all the time, or being the only person who does it? After a while, that’d be a lot, and I’m looking forward to the break. 

[spookysnicket]

@slasherscream:  Hey there! Can I get a slasher matchup please? I'm a bisexual black girl. I've got brown eyes, long black hair that's a big soft ball of curls + fluff. I'm a goofball Mom friend with a dark sense of humor. Huge sci-fi and horror fan. Love learning about history. Useless well of "Did you know that-" facts. Learning French specifically so I can shit talk ppl with my creole Mother in public. Pretend I'm a lot tougher than I actually am. Actually very sensitive and I tend to baby people. If I was a video game character you could only find me at the library or people watching. I snort when I laugh and tell bad jokes. I write poetry. Mostly dark stuff but also the secret romantic that writes poetry and love letters about their s/o. Just want to dote on someone and be doted back on in equal amount. Don't notice flirting but get shy when I finally do. Girly girl to the extreme. Dresses and skirts and wedges are the only way to live. Why did this get so long?? Thaaaank you!!

---

(Don’t you worry about how long your descrip is! It gives me more things to write about! I hope you like it, matchup under the cut as always!)

I match you with Carrie White

✨ There are plenty of spoiled, snobby, entitled white teens in Chamberlain- who in the 1970′s, haven’t cared to learn how to respect people of color. Carrie, at her own discretion, will happily pummel any one of them into the ground with her TK, should they make any crude racist jokes- or at least scare the bigotry out of them if you forbid using any violence. She doesn’t get how they’d make fun of you like her if you’re beautiful like them

✨ Your hair is so pretty! She always asks first if she can touch it. Your poofy dark curls look so delicate and dainty, much more so than her straight, curtain-like strands. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t hold envy for your volume, too

✨ Goodness gracious does this poor little love-bug need a mom friend. Give her affirmations, gentle hugs, little kisses here and there. Kindness is a foreign concept to Carrie, but after she’s sure you aren’t just playing a trick on her, she melts at your every loving touch

✨ Listen, Carrie’s a textbook wallflower when she’s not the target of everyone’s bullying- she’s got info on every one of the pompous bastards in her town. As mean as it may be to her, she can’t help but laugh when you make a joke out of something she tells you

✨ Carrie actually kinda enjoys sci-fi, and much prefers to watch anything in that genre rather than horror. Geek out with her about all your favorite lore, characters, ships, etc. Carrie finds all the little details you appreciate in those fun other worlds so enchanting!

✨ There was one time on the way to lunch, you muttered to Carrie and asked her if Chris Hargensen could see both of your history grades from the high pedestal she sits on all day. Carrie legitimately thought she was gonna wee herself then and there and have to deal with another shower-like incident. In other terms, Carrie also really likes history! She’s a gifted student, and you two spend a lot of time together studying for exams and gushing over your favorite famous dead people

✨ Carrie’s happy to tune in attentively when you share your countless random facts. She thinks everything you have to say is fascinating, and she’s always listening with intrigue- you know so much!

✨ Hearing you speak another language? Faint. Carrie has such a thing for smarts. Plus, you just seem so effortlessly elegant to her- confidently pronouncing those pleasant yet indecipherable sounds as they roll off your tongue like flowy linguistic waves. You sound just as ethereal as you look (Just don’t let her know you’re secretly making fun of your classmates, she’ll feel bad)

✨ Carrie takes note of the contrast between your outer shell and inner personality rather quickly once you two start hanging out. Deep down it makes her feel special, seeing how kind and soft you are with her behind the scenes of your strong and assured disposition

✨ Book buddies! If Carrie was in a video game, she’d probably just be a book, if we’re honest

✨ She’s low key a stalker too, so you’re now a duo lurker team!

✨ Your snort scares her the first time she makes you laugh hard enough to get one out- she doesn’t expect the noise, is all. You’d covered your mouth afterwards, being embarrassed by her bewildered expression, before she grinned ear to ear with a smile that nearly made her eyes close shut, squashed by her raised cheeks that she then pressed her palms too with a sweet giggle. “Oh Y/n, that was precious!”

✨ None of your jokes are bad to Carrie. She unironically laughs at puns, and would unfortunately find some of those Facebook mom minion posts kinda funny too. There’s no bad joke to Carrie unless it targets someone in a mean way- don’t worry about your sense of humor!

✨ You better let Carrie see those poems. She finds the deeper messages in your works to be strangely comforting, and even nostalgic in a way. And just to let you know, you’re her favorite author

✨ She’s such a SAP for cheesy lovey-dovey overly sweet gestures. Finding a love letter? For her? By you? Lord above help her, Carrie has to fight her own mind to keep her TK from wreaking delighted havoc on her surroundings while her heart pounds away in tender lovesick beats

✨ I personally don’t think Carrie’s one to get overly attached, even considering her background and social status. Regardless of the fact that she’s been neglected and tossed away all her life, she doesn’t tend to be overbearing. That being said, there’s not a waking second where this girl isn’t thinking of you and loving you with her whole ass heart. If she sees something she thinks you might like, she’s gonna get you it as a gift. If she manages to keep momma at bay, she’s ‘heading to the library’ to go out with you. Super secret late night calls? You better bet she’s already huddled around the landline with her soft voice barely audible even on your end. She just loves you so much, and she wants to spend as much time with you as she can

✨ If god himself doesn’t waltz down the stairs to the pearly gates and put both of your hands together, Carrie doesn’t know what she’ll do. You're both terribly awkward around each other, but in that sweet and innocent way. Carrie is at ground zero with flirting and being close to someone, but watching the other girls with their partners sparks a drive- a sort of push and inspiration to try at your affections. Her advances however, get shot down fairly quickly due to your unknowing- which poor Carrie takes as you not feeling the same way. You gotta meet her halfway with this, or it’ll never happen

✨ Her flirting is pretty obvious though, so you should be able to catch on. Things like little compliments, flowers, asking for your opinion on poems she wrote about love that may or may not be directed at you- you get the gist of it. They were quite bold moves for Carrie, in hindsight- she really gave it her all to tell you how she felt about you, and it’s still adorable to this day

✨ PLEASE MAKE HER GIRLY. The confidence boost would be immediate. It’s wonderful to finally get out of those granny drapes and into a cute outfit for once. She probably starts leaving home for school earlier just to go to your place to change into something more suitable for her tastes. Plus, in a way, she gets to be wrapped in and surrounded by you! The comforting fabrics she’s clutched onto many times before during warm hugs now wears over her body, and for a moment, makes her feel almost as beautiful as you do every single day. What other reasons does she need?

[kianlon]

Fanfic ask game 🍷 ❌ 👀 🤩 😬 🎶 ✨!!!! (Hoho! Compliment #2! 😎)

🍷: Why, just this afternoon I had 2/3 of a bottle of wine and solved one of my scene transition woes! I don't always drink and write, but when I do, it goes well for me. It actually solves a common typing woe of mine, which is that my left hand types faster than my right so I waste fewer time having to correct my typos.

❌: I have a hard time ruling tropes out entirely, because it turns out that one of my least favorite to read (Poor Communication Kills) is actually quite fun to put characters through. Plus, there are ways to make it work well. That said, I think I can safely say I won't be doing any Liar Revealed stories because that kind of thing just has too much... tension I guess? Like, I don't want the character's lie to spiral further out of control, I want the character to be honest before it gets to that point. Reading it kinda makes me feel like *I'm* gonna get in trouble for their lie.

👀: Hm... well, a WIP that I haven't started posting yet is a Digimon 02 AU in which Yolei and Cody pick up the opposite DigiEggs and a few different paths are taken because of this. It's turning out far more canon-divergent than I thought it would thus far but it's kinda fun to not constantly be trying to make sure stuff is technically still complying with the show. An example of something that's changed: I'm leaning far more into characterizing Ken as a gamer who just doesn't understand that Digimon are real and his actions have consequences. That is canon, but let's just say Ken's actions lean far more evil than they do uninformed. Nah, Ken just thinks he's in Pokémon.

🤩: My favorite character to write that isn't an OC is TK Takaishi from Digimon. Canon really doesn't take much time to explore his trauma from the first adventure so I sure as heck am gonna. Plus his relationships with everybody else are interesting.

😬: Oh ho ho! I previously mentioned the fic I'm most embarrassed by, which would definitely be the worst for my friends to stumble onto, but they know I write fic so they'd just be like "this sure was a choice y'all made, huh".

My family, on the other hand... I think my dad might know I write fic? It's always really hard to tell with him. I really, really don't want them to find Redacted. Dad would probably enjoy it, actually, but Mom would be very upset by things like swears, the POV character's relationship with her mother (which... yeah, has a bit of basis in reality), and most of all by the fact that I'm not either monetizing my writing or spending the time on more worthwhile pursuits like additional schooling.

(My partner knows I write fic, knows my screenname, but won't look it up which I appreciate because I don't wanna get dunked on for life imitating art ((accidentally made a couple with our mutual pining issues and basically our dynamic years before meeting him)) or for one specific fic me and Em wrote as a teenager...)

...The Adventures of Mary Sue, a fic which would be the most embarrassing thing for my co-workers to find. I would die. We found a fic called How to Make a Very Suckish SYOT and decided to follow its instructions to the letter, and those parts are honestly still funny, but we included holiday specials because we felt guilty over not updating and... yeah. The best thing I can say about those chapters is that one of them got me $20 from my ex-gf for writing something, quote, "worse than My Immortal". My co-workers, fortunately, are all older than me by a significant margin and the one person who isn't would never look for fic, but I can't guarantee they'll never see my account still up on my laptop if I forget to close it before going out on a call, so that's one of my current worst work fears.

🎶: I sure do listen to music! Normally it's my writing playlist or one of my playlists that fits the vibes of the scene I'm working on. Lately I've been listening to 21st Century Breakdown (the album) by Green Day on loop when I feel like looping something because Bowling for Soup was right, I really do be listening to the same shit I listened to in high school.

✨: Now you're killing me, I'm not good with compliments!! Uh... let's see... most of my old humor stuff still makes me laugh when I go back and re-read it so I did something right there!

[bigbrotherlouis]

the bag of chips scene from 'i ate you up the day we first spoke' for the director's cut meme!

whoohoo i actually loved writing this scene and i’m so glad someone asked about it yeeee

(director’s cut meme)

everything eases back into normal. tk picks nolan up for practice, because nolan’s car is inexplicably always out of gas, (this is true, i read an article about it somewhere) and ties nolan’s ties for him on game days, and follows him into his living room to eat all the good snacks nolan hides on increasingly higher shelves.

“how did you even get those?” he asks when he comes out of the washroom and finds travis eating illegal all-dressed his mom had sent down in his last care package. he’s pretty sure they were hidden, like, on top of the cupboards this time. he literally had to throw them up there. (food, when you move countries, is a really big deal. i always want to keep the mutlicultural aspect of a lot of hockey players in mind, because i was a young multicutural person in the united states, and home foods is usually a good way to do it. all-dressed are pretty distinctly canadian, and my cousin gets her parents to send them to her in california, so i borrowed that from her. also i liked the image of TK climbing on the counters to try and get at a bag of chips.)

tk shrugs and crams a handful of chips into his mouth. “smart thinking.”

“those are mine.”

“i don’t see you eating them,” tk says smugly and nolan thinks about it for precisely point two seconds before he launches himself at the sofa. (no thoughts, head empty)

it’s a familiar ritual, this one. tk cackles, going limp so he can noodle off the cushions onto the floor, the bag still clamped in his hand. he scrabbles backwards until he’s out of reach of nolan’s admittedly long arms.

“sucks to suck, babe,” he gloats, except nolan is not emphatically giving up, those are his chips, and he’s not going to let his idiot of a best friend eat them all. tk grunts when nolan lands on his lower half, hard, and pins down his legs so he can’t escape. he sits on tk’s knees and ignores the yelling. (travis “has never shut up once in his life” konecny strikes again)

“mine,” he says savagely, snatching the bag out of his hands. tk huffs, shoving at his legs.

“it’s rude— not to— share— fuck, patty, what are you doing in the gym?”

“some of us don’t skip leg day.”

“yeah, well, some of us aren’t built like a fuckin’ ox,” tk complains, as if he’s not just as in shape as nolan is. “i can’t even fuckin’ pinch you because you’re wearing jeans.”

“now who’s the smart think—  fuck!” (not you, pat. not tk either but still not you.) he shouts, flinching and rubbing at his side. that pinch is definitely going to bruise. tk uses it as a distraction to roll them, nolan’s shoulders thudding painfully against the floor, and straddles nolan’s stomach with his thighs. there’s another struggle but tk gets hold of nolan’s arms, pins them under his knees so nolan’s fists are at his sides. he’s effectively trapped. (too many nolans but what do you do when writing m/m. also this isn’t specific to this scene, but especially in hockey with all its nicknames, i like to write people’s internal narrative with whatever name they probably think of themselves as. that’s why nolan isn’t pat/patty here, and why tk is usually not travis)

“still me,” tk says, grinning at him with undisguised glee. he works the chips free and sits up, putting his weight just under nolan’s ribs so all the breath gets knocked out of him for a second.

“fucker,” nolan hisses, trying and failing to wriggle his way out. “what the fuck, teeks?”

“that’s what you get for not growing up with brothers, bro. gotta fight to survive. survival skills.”

“bud, you don’t even know. sisters have nails and they’re not fucking afraid to use them,” nolan says, his best murder glare in effect. he probably still has the scars in some places. (i know i do) tk snorts.

“sorry, i don’t see you scratching me here,” he says.  

“let me go and i’ll scratch you up real good,” he threatens and then his brain catches up with his mouth, his face going red as he realises what he’s maybe implied. “uh.”

tk doesn’t take the obvious chirp, just raises an eyebrow. there’s a considering look on his face, one that makes nolan want to squirm more and it settles somewhere down deep in his stomach. (so i wrote this scene because i needed a turn for both of them, relationship-wise. iirc, there’s been a few places where tk’s interest might be noticeable, but nothing super concrete for pat or for the reader. meanwhile, on tk’s side, he needed clear signals that pat’s into him before he tries to tell him again.)

“uh,” he says again because his brain is just fucking offline and his arms are still locked under travis’ legs and travis burns hot because nolan can feel it against his skin, through his t-shirt, and this is all going to get incredibly, incredibly awkward in about three seconds. (unfortunately, i love a good run-on sentence to build tension) he’s pretty sure popping a boner because a teammate is sitting on you is, like, not something you can get away with by laughing.

tk shifts, sitting up the tiniest bit, and reaches out the hand that’s not currently occupied with the fuckin’ chips— probably all crushed to hell now, anyway (foreshadowing!! also strategic last mention here so we know that tk is still holding them, and then they aren’t mentioned until the shoe drops for optimal dramatic effect) — and brushes his fingers against nolan’s cheek. he traces the blush from his cheekbone carefully down his neck, pausing to thumb at his jaw, and then bumps his fingers against his collar, where it disappears down into his shirt. (i really liked building the tension here. also this is fully just projection bc i would love to touch patty’s blush once in my life)

“you’re glowing, pat,” he says, so soft, and it makes nolan go redder. he glowers at a spot by tk’s ear, unwilling to look him in the face and see whatever is written there. (would tk actually tell nolan he’s glowing? probably not, but fictionally it gives the reader a good picture of what nolan looks like to someone else. i didn’t want to overuse red-- which didn’t quite feel like a strong enough word-- or blush, so glowing it was.) tk hooks his index into the collar and there’s a moment when nolan thinks he’s going to pull it down, see if his blush goes all the way down his chest— it does, if he’s embarrassed enough. it’s fucking terrible— and he turns his head away, dragging in a breath through his nose. he’s, like, so incredibly fucked that he can’t even think about it without going dizzy. (you’ll probably see this a lot if you look for it in my writing, but i like to add in a “like” or something similarly bro-ish when things get particularly emotionally fraught, to keep it more realistic. also i think it’s funny. anyway, i like the contrast of tk not being able to take his eyes away from something he wanted and nolan not being able to look at it. characterisation, wahey!) it’s better to just not look.

of course, it’s the exact opposite of what tk wants.

“hey,” he says. “look at me.”

nolan refuses, a muscle ticking in his jaw. (this is hot to me idc) tk lets go of his collar to pull on his hair instead, just a little tug of a piece by his ear, and nolan can’t quite bite back the punched-out sound that he lets out. (also hot.)

“look at me,” tk says again, an edge to his voice, and nolan does. tk won’t stop until he does, he knows that well enough. (another look at their dynamic and how well they know each other) he lifts his chin, just a tiny bit, because he’s not going to do anything without a fight. tk’s hand tightens in his hair and it keeps him in place, nailed— ha— to the floor. (i write for the people whose brains make inappropriate jokes at the wrong moments) he couldn’t move if he wanted to, watches helplessly as tk leans down.

the hope in his chest is so thick, nolan thinks it might actually smother him, stop his heart. he’s breathing fast and shallow, almost on the verge of panting, and jesus fuck, isn’t that embarrassing. he’s so desperate, he could squirm with it and he briefly remembers travis months ago, writhing on his very rug and how much nolan wanted to help. he can smell snow again, sharp in the back of his nose. (this does the double work of calling back to an earlier scene-- ya girl loves a good callback-- and also building the anticipation some more. the snow reference reminds the reader that this is still a werewolf au, even in the midst of this. also, once when i was like fifteen, i read something about how to write kisses/romance and it talked about picking one or two aspects of the kiss to focus on-- breathing, hands, the feeling of someone’s mouth, etc. i still use that advice.)

tk shifts his weight and nolan has enough time to think holy fuck, is this happening? before travis fucking konecny upends the bag of all dressed-flavoured crumbs all over his face. (OKAY a lot going on here! it’s one of my favourite moments, really. first of all, here’s the resolution of all the chips talk! sure, i could’ve just abandoned them, but the subverting of expectations was a lot more fun and the story still wasn’t quite ready for them to kiss yet. second, this is tk chickening out. he had two choices and he chose violence. or, like, the buddies option, which is amusing to me because this is not buddies, boys. finally, the full name was necessary to convey nolan’s disappointment and anger, as was the full description of the chips. nolan is upset, and he’s going to notice these things, and that shows up in his internal narrative.)

“got ‘em,” he crows over nolan’s sputtering, letting himself get bucked off onto the floor. nolan wipes furiously at his face, all his feelings a confusing mix of horny and angry and confused, all with the thick overtone of humiliation.

“you’re a fucking dick,” he says and it’s flat, but tk is gloating too much to care. (he’s not, he’s trying to cover, but nolan’s too embarrassed to realise)

“you should’ve seen your face, pat.”

nolan glares daggers at the carpet, the chips spread out everywhere. it’s going to be a bitch to clean up. tk had better help. (makes sure the punch landed, and to give a final resolution.)

he leans against the sofa and waits for tk to tire himself out, listening to the laughter and trying not to get too angry or, like, cry. his neck feels hot, prickling uneasily. he rubs at it with his hand, startles when tk kicks him gently in the ankle. (in order for tk to not come out of this looking like an asshole, i needed him to make up his obliviousness by being observant in other times. and in order for tk to notice patty being mad, i needed to give patty actions that could be noticed, like not laughing along with the joke)

“sorry if i made you mad,” tk says quietly, all the giggles finally worked out of him. “you looked tense (no shit bud) and i thought it would make you laugh.”

it’s not tk’s fault nolan thought he was gonna, like, kiss him. (”like” again, to break up a too-honest moment) it was a dick move but tk doesn't have a cruel bone in his body, so: “it’s fine,” he mumbles and shrugs his shoulder. “it was funny.”

tk preens for a second. “i know.”

“you owe me a bag now.”

“i’ll buy you a family-sized pack. i’m sure they’ll ship it down here, amazon or ups or somethin’.” (patty’s attempting to be normal and tk is attempting to make amends.)

nolan nods and scratches at his face, tipping his head against the couch cushions. (little motions like him scratching his face aren’t super necessary for like plot or development, but it helps humanize characters and i like to add them in whenever i can, as long as it’s not overkill. they can also be helpful in pointing to emotional state without directly saying it.) it’s quiet for a few seconds, just the sound of them breathing heavier than usual, and it would be so normal. should be normal, by all counts, but nolan still kind of wants to crawl into a hole for while. wants to push tk out of the apartment and eat ice cream and google ‘how to stop a crush,’ like his sisters used to do when they were upset. he’s already googled it, a few days ago, and there was nothing but maybe someone’s offered good advice since then. (people make an impact on you, and family even more so, and i always like reminders of how close nolan seems to be with his sisters. also, it’s funny.)

tk flicks him on the wrist. (this is something that tk does consistently through the story, and even though it’s not super important to this scene, it establishes a behaviour in the larger story. that’s important too!)

“pat,” he says and it sounds it’s not the first time. nolan blinks.

“yeah?”

“i just asked you if you were hungry.”

“oh. uh. no, not really,” he answers truthfully. tk wrinkles his nose.

“do you, like, have anything in your fridge to eat?”

“mm, probably not.”

“typical,” tk mutters under his breath, as if he ever has anything regularly stocked besides protein powder and bacon. (protein rich foods that are easy to eat after a full moon, or after a workout) at least nolan has eggs pretty consistently. (also a protein rich food that’s less easy to eat after a full moon, but are easy to make when you aren’t a werewolf) “wanna go get sushi?”

nolan thinks about it. shoves his sweaty hair behind his ear and considers going out to their favourite place and pretending he’s not still fucking mortified. and, like, a little turned on. it makes him nauseous. (i get such physical reactions to emotional things that i write everyone into having them) 

“no,” he says. he’s not facing tk but he can still see him deflate, his shoulders hunching over. “i don’t— no.”

“okay. that’s… okay.”

“i think i’m getting a migraine,” lies nolan. “think i’m just gonna lay down.”

“do you need me to stay with you? keep you company?”

nolan’s shaking his head before tk even finishes the thought. “no, trav. i’m fine, i promise.” (the trav here works as a signal that something isn’t right! it’s why tk looks at him for so long in the next line.)

tk studies him for a long minute, his eyes searching the side of patty’s face presented to him. nolan keeps his expression as blank as possible and stares hard at his feet.

“text me if you need anything,” he says finally, the words coming out slow and gentle. it’s a lot to handle. “i’ll come back.”

“i know. i will.” he won’t, but that’s not for tk to know. he doesn’t move when tk goes out the door, squeezes his eyes shut when the door doesn’t slam into its frame, (tk’s taking care of him, still!) and decides to leave the pile of crumbs to deal with later. (the climax of this scene happened a while ago so this is another little reminder of what happened, just so it’s solidified in the reader’s head after the longish comedown. i end scenes a LOT like this-- two actions, and then a callback-- because they’re simple and effective, and usually sound great!)  /fin

ahh thank you so much for asking!! this was really fun to, like, process through and remember my logic for! i was actually really nervous writing this scene, because i knew the tension and the break had to be PERFECT for it to land right. but i do like how it turned out so at least there’s that. ily!!