#always a complicated topic

[newttxt]

Are you okay with your art being reposted with credit?

someday ill type this up in an faq i swear.

short answer: no. please dont.

long answer: i really don’t like reposts on tumblr and twitter because i have accounts there, so id rather ppl just interact with my art rather than a repost (bluesky too, though ill admit i fell behind on posting there oops).

on instagram, i guess its okay since i don’t have an account there, as long as its with credit leading to my stuff on other platforms.

all of this comes with the huge disclaimer that many artists do not like their stuff reposted, even with credit. so thank you for asking, and pls never repost other ppls work without permission

[violetsandshrikes]

how do you help so many different kinds of people? i have noticed you know about lots of different things and meet lots of different people. i want to do that but i cant figure out how? /gen

A little bit of background is probably needed:

I have had people ask me this before, and honestly I had a little bit of a cheat code. While my life has been filled with a lot of trauma and bad shit, I was raised by a mother from an incredibly leftie family who walked the talk when it came to values and doing the work.

She had a lot of ideas imparted on us from a young age: social and community responsibility, ideas of collectivism, eduction. Even as a poor, trapped young mother, she was believed that many people behaved badly based on ignorance outside their very limited bubble, and that when life became difficult economically or socially, people would immediately point fingers at groups they knew little about or saw as distinctively different in order to have a blameable target.

From about 4-5, outside typical schoolwork, my mother also taught us about the world. This included different conflicts and genocides (which may sound horrific to some people, but basic information and explanation was given, and then it got more in depth with age), different countries and cultures (often she would randomly select a country from a world map, and we would spend a set amount of time learning everything we could about the place, culture, people, etc), different religions (I attended many different types of religious institutes at least once, and my mother often found people willing to talk about their belief system with us), volunteering, etc.

I have definitely had a head start and a lot more guidance than many people, which I am incredibly grateful for. It can also make it difficult to advise though.

Realistically:

Honestly, the two best things you can do if you don’t know where to start are: listen and learn. Find any local group, start participating and volunteering. Listen to the stories of people there. Ask questions. Expose yourself to all sorts of different ideas and opinions.

In the last year, I’ve started doing a little throwback to my childhood. I have a schoolbook, and I choose random topics, and spend a few hours every week learning basic things about it. Choose a country, choose a place, a time in history, a religion, a culture, a people. You don’t have to be a scholar. You just have to expand your horizons.

As you get involved with more things, you will begin to narrow down your core values. This is good: you can’t do everything at once. I would say roughly 2-3 core issues or topics you care about is good (this doesn’t mean that you don’t care about things happening outside it - it just means you don’t spread yourself thin). There’s different things people make their focus: LGBTQ+ issues, BIPOC issues, environmental issues, homelessness, disability, refugee issues, etc. Your core focus will be the ones you feel most passionate about, which is good, because it means you will put in genuine work and care, and you will lower the risk of burning out fast and being of help to no one, including yourself.

You also have to get comfortable with the fact you will never be perfect. You will never be up to date with every idea and practice. There is always something you will need to learn or unlearn. Becoming rigid about being correct all the time will make you more of a menace than a help to any reputable movement or group. You might feel uncomfortable when you realise the gap or misunderstanding you had - that’s normal. Be open to learning and expanding your understanding of things vs burying your head in the stand stubbornly. I say things and then months later I realise that actually, I don’t agree with that anymore, or my understanding has deepened, or changed, or pivoted. This tends to make people feel very bad or uncomfortable, but you have to get to the stage where again, you acknowledge that that’s normal.

[atomicpatrolcreation]

My thoughts on Green Lantern: Beware my Power

This idea came to me while my best friend forced me to watch the animated movie Green Lantern: Beware My Power. If you're wondering whether it was a horror for me to sit through that movie, the answer is yes. However, my best friend, Gabby, insisted we watch it together because, according to her, we’d both be happy since it featured John Stewart (her favorite Green Lantern) and Hal (my favorite).

Well, I ended up disliking it a lot, for many reasons. The only things I actually enjoyed were the art, the animation, and the appearances of Hawkgirl, Martian Manhunter, and Green Arrow.

As for the things I didn’t like—there are too many to list here, so I’ll save that for another post. But the main and most important thing is: What the hell were they thinking when they butchered the respect, admiration, and brotherhood between John and Hal?!

One of the best things about the Green Lantern comics is that all the Lanterns are friends/co-workers who act like one big family (most of the time).

Heck, even Guy, in his worst moments (and trust me, he’s had plenty), has always managed to be amicable with other Green Lanterns.

John Stewart has always admired and respected Hal Jordan, and that will never change.

In the comics, if someone badmouths Hal around John, you can bet they’ll end up getting a smack to keep Hal’s name out of their mouth.

My guy doesn’t tolerate anyone—not even freaking Batman—talking down or attacking Hal. And you think he himself would badmouth someone he’s outright called the GREATEST GREEN LANTERN OF ALL TIME?

Sorry, but if you think that would happen, let me tell you: you’re so, so wrong.

John may be a lot of things (and yes, the guy has had his fair share of messy retcons—though not as bad as Guy’s), but one thing he has always been is loyal to his loved ones, and Hal is one of them (just in case anyone wasn’t clear on that).

Honestly, I just want DC to stop making stupid decisions like this movie or the frustrating (albeit well-written) Bruce Timm animated universe. Green Lantern fans don’t need our favorites constantly being compared or put in competitions to determine who’s the best (And frankly, that’s a dumb argument because any fan who’s read a comic in their life knows or should know that Kyle is the best Lantern across the entire emotional spectrum).

Speaking of Kyle, can someone tell me why the hell they gave John almost all of Kyle’s backstory in this movie?

It was completely unnecessary to give KYLE’S STORY to John, especially when John’s story could have delved into the challenges of being an American man who served years in the military (specifically infantry), gets discharged, and decides to focus on architecture.

And let’s not even get started on how they could’ve focused on John being a rookie who trains under Kilowog and Guy, eventually meeting Hal in person, spending time together, and forming a friendship where Hal (sometimes) gives advice and trains with him. This could’ve led to parallels between John/Hal and Hal/Sinestro.

Or, better yet, they could’ve explored the dynamics between John, Guy, and Hal (because those three are so incredibly different in so many ways, it’s wild that they even get along) and how the Guardians (and the rest of the GL Corps) treat them so differently.

Hal was the first human Lantern, the one who had to prove his worth because everyone thought humans (and Earth) were inferior and unfit to serve as Lanterns. The intense bias, alien xenophobia, and pressure he endured are issues that never get addressed in comics, movies, or animated series, and it’s insane.

How did Hal feel when Guy showed up?

Did he realize Guy was a bit of a jerk but still treated better than he was when he first joined?

Did Hal care, or did he just ignore it?

Was he relieved that Guy was a complete idiot, knowing it meant he wouldn’t be overshadowed?

For a moment, did Hal think about his family and how he was projecting those feelings onto the Corps?

And when John joined?

Did Hal notice the difference between them?

Sometimes I wonder about these things, and Beware My Power opened a can of worms I thought had been sealed shut after reading Geoff Johns’ run back in 2011.

And don’t think I enjoy seeing fans compare or fight over these characters. I actually hate it (as I mentioned earlier), and I love how they support, care for, and respect each other.

But sometimes, I really just want them to explore those years before Kyle showed up, before they had the beautiful bond they have now.

Because honestly, Hal has abandonment issues that could easily be explored and expanded upon. These issues explain certain behaviors of his that you can also see reflected in his relationship with the Green Lantern Corps.

P.S. To me, Hal, John, and Guy are like brothers, which is why I picture Hal having “firstborn syndrome” when he stopped being the only human Lantern, projecting his feelings onto them for a brief period.

[bonefall]

Living for the Grandma Mistystar designation because she's grandma in such a specific way. Like she's been around forever and goes on and on and we know and love her and she lived through The War™ and had a hard life, etc, but sometimes things come out of her mouth that make it VERY OBVIOUS that she attributes the horrors she lived through to a bad person, a bad group, as opposed to the culture in which she lives, and therefore doesn't really have the right takeaways. So there's grandma telling you stories and then she says some shit and it's like "Grandma Mistystar didn't you literally survive an attempted half-clan genocide. The fuck are you on about." But also she's old as hell and you know she loves you and you love her so you just sort of sit uncomfortably in her living room and drink your tea. Literally an old-ass woman who lived through hell and still votes Conservative. I'm obsessed with her.

The old grandma characters in BB have my entire soul. They've all been through AWFUL shit, they came so close to the right conclusions, you love them SO much but then they drop some shit that makes your skin crawl. What can you do with that?

You can see a bit of progress with cats like Mousefur, but even then, it's never in the exact way you were hoping for. It goes from, "foreigner Bad" to "Some foreigners Not bad." But progress is progress, right...?

It's a sort of hopeless feeling, but not strong enough to tip into despair. The world is changing and they're remnants of the old one. You have to fight them when they try to drag it back, but totally changing their person is an unwinnable battle.

[uncanny-tranny]

Comparing oppression can sometimes give you insight as to what other groups of people go through. It teaches you what you have in common with people seemingly different than you are, and teaches you how you are different and how you can ally yourself better with other peoples.

However, if your goal is to prove you suffer the most between you and another person, you'll likely find that there is no conversation, just an endless barrage of back-and-forth to prove which of you deserves to be listened to.

The reality is that you don't have to be in the most pain in order to be listened to. So often, we are inundated with this idea that the person suffering the most is the only one who ought to be listened to, and it sends the message of "holy shit, I guess I don't matter. I guess I deserve to suffer if others are going through worse," and that's just unreasonable and unfair. Who has it worse is entirely contextual and changing, and sometimes it is subjective - as in, something that is earth-breaking for you is an average tuesday evening for the guy next to you.

Kill the cop in your head that says your voice will only matter if you prove yourself. Listen to other marginalized people and know it isn't a competition to see who can prove themselves most worthy of tine and energy. Our resources can (and should) be multifaceted and able to help a variety of peoples.

[justthewayuare]

The treatment of sluts

I’m not the first person to write about this topic and I don’t want to dive in here deep into societal problems with slutshaming. But I think about it a lot - there is an interesting approach within the show to this.

I talk about how both characters in the show and the audience treat so-called sluts of the show. Yes, it’s about Boston and Top. But also about Sand and Ray. Because it’s quite clear that all four of them have - or had before by the point we’re now - an active sex life. With Boston, Top and Sand it was spoken out loud, with Ray wasn’t but come on. Like he is horny as fuck.

And the way he just casually raised the car roof here without stopping a make out session - I don’t believe for a second he never did it before.

But Ray also spends a huge amount of his life being blackout drunk so maybe his sex life is not that intense at this point. The other three? 100%

But the approach towards Sand (and Ray) is very different than towards Boston and Top. And it’s partially because of car scene, of course, but not only about that. Top and Boston both constantly judged for their sex life in the show and out of it. And I think characters view on those who actively engaged in casual hookups speaks volumes. It happens in all of the main dynamics but differently.

Friend group. So the whole Boston-Mew drama about feeling superior to the other cause of having/not having sex is amazing. Those two are very dramatic about it. Boston going crazy about Mew’s virginity while Mew being arrogant ass towards Boston’s sex life is just everything. I love it.

Like really, Mew, honey, there is nothing wrong with sleeping around. It’s not something that needs correction. He’s fine.

Cheum said nobody would be happy in a relationship with Boston. And why?

That’s her reason. While so many real reasons exist for her it’s just Boston being a slut. And it’s just interesting to me for two reasons:

1. Boston didn’t say anything about relationship. Not everyone wants a relationship.

2. Monogamy is not the only option, you know? Some couples are great without being inclusive and it’s fine.

We never see anyone talks on Ray about it and, well, Ray is a depressive addict and that’s what should worry people around him more, rightfully so. Ray is also the only one in that friend group who never speaks about others sex life.

Top and Mew. Mew is really getting paranoid by the episode 5. Every time he sees a man looking at Top he gets nervous.

And yes, Top slept with Boston, but Mew seems (at least for me) unaware of that. He’s fine when Top and Boston are near each other, but any random guy passing by Top? Even when Top doesn’t interact with them or even looks back at them.

And Mew really tries his best to be cool about Top’s past.

But he just can’t. It’s always present in their relationship. He can’t get over it to the point he decides to have sex with Top.

And maybe it’s not all about that and he also in love with him and blablabla but the reasoning is “I’m afraid he’ll get bored” and this is all about Top and sex and the role sex played in his life.

And while Mew doesn’t want to judge Top he usually judges people like Top, and of course he can’t separate it. He is not okay with the past Top has. He doesn’t trust him because of that past. So the audience doesn’t too (and also because we know Top fucked Boston obviously).

Boston and Nick. Nick is in a way the same as Mew. While he doesn’t seem to judge people for having sex life, he does it with Boston. He is obsessed with him being with someone else (read as: Top).

Just a reminder, he bugged Boston’s car just because he saw photos with Top. Just in case. While they agreed on being fwb and Boston never lied about having other partners.

And when Boston told him about someone else blackmailing him over sex tape, how Nick responded?

Yep. And while it was meant as a tease, it wasn’t. Nothing is ever a reason to record someone without consent (as that guy did. And Nick did. And Boston did). But Nick says it as this is justified because he really doesn’t like that Boston is a slut. And, well, the audience doesn’t like it too (besides all the other reasons of course).

Sand and Ray. I give it to them, in that particular case they are doing great. Not in a one point of the story not Sand or Ray had issues with other’s past sex life. They don’t even seem to care about it.

The one time Ray asked if Sand is fine with casual hookups he did it for a reason to, well, know if Sand will be into having sex with him. So when Sand said yes Ray was actually pleased with this answer.

And while their situationship progresses into something and Sand sees Ray with a girl, he’s not nervous or jealous. He teases Ray a little and a bit possessive but he is totally chill about it.

I had so much hope we’ll get a threesome with those two at some point of the story, but yeah. Second time they let a gorgeous girl walk away without even noticing. They are simping for each other so badly it’s pathetic. And adorable. I love them. No threesome for them I guess.

And when the fight at the end of episode happens Boston brings up twice that he thinks Ray and Mew had sex. As that has to make Sand feel even worse. But the thing is, Sand is heartbroken not because Ray potentially had sex with someone, even his close friend. I really don’t think Sand would care about it. Sand is heartbroken because Ray loves someone else.

So those two are only ones who don’t judge anyone, including each other, for having an active sex life (being sluts). And this is quite healthy approach (look at me, using word healthy to describe that one thing about OF, I don’t believe myself) to life and relationships. Any sort of relationship, including friendships, romance or people you don’t know but so ready to judge. And while them not judging each other, why the audience would?

I don’t know if the show does it on purpose or not. I do think it does with Boston and Top. But with Sand and Ray? I doubt it. It more looks like those to have enough other shit to worry about both within their relationship and outside of it. I know it’ll develop but by episode 5 characters biggest problems looks something like this:

1. Mew’s biggest problem is his relationship with Top and sex. And Boston.

2. Top’s biggest problem is maybe insomnia but also his relationship with Mew and sex. And Boston.

3. Boston’s biggest problem is Top and Mew and their relationship.

4. Nick’s biggest problem is his relationship with Boston and sex and Boston.

5. Ray’s biggest problem is depression and addiction and inability to love or being loved.

6. Sand’s biggest problem is his financial situation, debts collectors and working his ass off 24/7.

So maybe yes, those two just don’t have enough screen time to worry about sex too. And while I do think we will learn more about other characters, by that point we’ve seen almost half of the show. And the initial idea of who they are already formed. It can develop, but it won’t change.

And the approach to Boston and Top being sluts won’t change either. Whatever they do the “slut” part will be seen as their flaw, something they have to overcome (it is not). While Sand and Ray get a free pass on that.

The thing is, both Top and Boston do have flaws and things to overcome. But their sex life is not a part of it. Them having a lot of sex partners doesn’t mean they can’t be in relationship, or even monogamous, if that what they (or at least Top) want to. And if they doesn’t - nothing is wrong with it. It’s like trying to change something that’s not even broken on the first place, you know?

[queernobi]

I haven't talked about her in years, but I've seen a few snippets of her work lately, and I was reminded just how much Natalie Wynn doesn't really know what she's talking about when it comes to a lot of stuff she chooses to discuss.

I mean, she's good at SOUNDING like she does, especially if you know very little about the topic at hand, but when you DO actually know a considerable amount about the topic, you realize that she either completely misunderstood her sources or really didn't bother to read anything that spoke about it in a substantial way.

(A big example of this was when she tried to say she was trying to come up with a materialist working of trans/nb identity, but used Judith Butler's work as an inspiration. Judith Butler. The person who famously disavows the very IDEA of coming up with a materialist understanding of queer identity. I also think of how she apparently never read about comphet among lesbian women for years, despite her repeated claims before then to have read a substantial amount about queer identity as a whole. Comphet is like...101 level shit.)

[starpros-sunshine]

I think the reason I'm so uncomfortable in conversation with cis men is because in my life the image I've grown up with is that from the American movies and while there's so much to be said about how women in those are basically objects or exclusively love interests or just Really Really forgettable I feel like there's also something to be mentioned about how most of these men are all the same pseudo-tough-guy character that's cool and suave and sexy and the only emotion he's capable of is nonchalant banter (it feels worth mentioning that the American movies I'm referring to are all from the last century I have no idea if that's changed in these last years but a gut feeling tells me no) and I also barely talk to the guys from my grade so the result of kind of growing up with that is that I just genuinely can not imagine real cis men with a complex inner emotional landscape. Maybe this is also an empathy thing but I genuinely can not imagine most cishet guys doing normal people things in their free time that aren't gaming or going to the gym or...idk. making music too I suppose. It's quite comical really but I just can not imagine cishet men with interests or doing stuff like having crushes and it's so strange because I know for a fact I am generally speaking not a sexist person but this little tidbit of apparently just not being able to view cishet men as normal people? Can't get that to go away even if I logically know it's silly. There's a point in this post about how toxic masculinity is a huge issue and affects even those not affected by it and runs really really deep or whatever but I'm too tired to coherently put it together. On the positive side now I get really happy when I see men online talk about how much they love their wives and all that because it's like "wow! Crazy you really are just a normal dude and not some James Bond knock-off like I thought every cishet man was supposed to be! Thank god!"

[anthromimicry]

okay, but i think it is about time to talk about one of misao's fears is, because i believe that they can tell you a lot about a character and their psyche — and i came to tell y'all that the one i'm going to be talking about today is that misao fears becoming a mother / motherhood. the first reason in which why i believe this is because misao just genuinely thinks that she is not the nurturing type and that she would likely be a terrible parent to her child ( which i know is a very depressing thing to think about. but it is something that she has feared for a long time, unfortunately. ) this likely stems from a mix of misao's inability to deal with her own emotions, though, as she feels like it's better to just bottle them up and deal with them all on her own rather than the alternative. and this would be to try to confide in someone and/or get help from them should she need it. so, misao feels as if her child were to come to her needing emotional support from her, she would absolutely fail at it and the last thing she wants is to emotionally neglect someone the way she had been as a child ( p.s. of course, this was mostly just borne out of unfortunate circumstances, as i've stated before because of kaiyah's illness. though this hasn't stopped misao from feeling the brunt of the impact that it had on her. )

plus... i feel as if misao also doesn't have a lot of confidence in herself whenever it comes to the concept of always being able to put a child first, as she has a pretty negative self-image of herself deep down if i'm being honest. she sees herself as an extremely selfish person who can't even become friends with one person because she is so afraid that someone will hurt her, and in her opinion, that makes her pathetic or weak. so she doesn't feel like she'd be able to take care of a child with the amount of responsibility that is required to in order to raise them properly and protect them at the same time.

though this isn't necessarily true as misao has put up those barriers that would normally let people into her heart mostly due to trauma, and having experienced trauma doesn't make anyone weak. i just feel as if she desperately needs to remedy her self-image because it is very damaging to think of yourself like that and it would be really good for her emotional health if she were to try to ways to better cope with everything that she's experienced throughout her life. there are other reasons as well behind why misao fears motherhood while i'm talking about it, however, and these are arguably one of the more bigger ones: the act of giving birth itself and suddenly being thrust into having to not just take care of yourself, but the baby inside of you as well. which sort of makes sense whenever you connect the dots as to how many horror stories misao has heard about delivering a baby and also how much a person's experience while being pregnant can vary from others. i mean, it has been shown that some people may have more morning sickness than others and that they just don't have a very good experience with being pregnant in general, for example. but other's may be 'glowing' as they say and may find it easier to deal with.

so, you never really know what kind of pregnancy you're going to have until you actually become 'with child' as misao would call it. and the unknown aspect surrounding it scares misao more than anything. plus, as it stands now, she isn't sure whether she'd want to go through the process of giving birth as there can be a lot of complications regarding it. but there can also be so many good things about inviting a new member of the family into your home and misao feels as if it is kind of expected of her to have children so she can continue the kanade line.

but misao is just so afraid of it for these reasons that she can not see herself as a mother, even in her head. however... there is the matter of adoption that she has yet to take into account, but with how focused the jorōgumo are about having biological children, i feel as if misao hasn't even considered it to be an option for those who are afraid of giving birth and also to give a baby / child a loving home as everyone deserves one of those. but yeah. i hope that this gave y'all a little more insight into her character, as misao is scared of re-enacting her past in a way, though i feel as if you become a mother yourself... you have to separate what will be your own experience of parenthood from your parents. so, in order to overcome this fear she has, misao would have to treat it as an entirely different thing from kaiyah's experience as a mother and her own child self's experience of her as a mother.

and this is definitely possible. it would just take some work, as overcoming any kind of fear would. plus, i feel as if misao were to accept other people's help it would also benefit her, since discussing motherhood / plunging into the topic of the sometimes seemingly scary thing that is parenthood is definitely not something that you have to try to go through alone.

[mwagneto]

i know it's my fault for interacting with western politics in the first place but it's such a massive and extremely annoying mistake on the west's part to keep assuming that eastern european misogyny works the same/is worse than western misogyny like. the culture of america and the west as a whole is way more extremist christian and their version of misogyny is very heavily built on the 50s housewife/"women are incapable of doing anything but raise babies" worldview and they just assume anyone perceived as "less developed" than them must then have an even worse case of misogyny automatically even though the culture of gender in the eastern bloc comes from the world wars & soviet union culture with the former bringing the necessity of working women (due to lack of male work force) and the latter just. inherently not being a misogynist culture like people straight up don't know that the soviet union was actively pro equality like being the first to legalise abortion in 1920 and always pushing for women in all fields including STEM and politics. like obviously there was still misogyny, it wasn't some sort of utopia/a haven of women's rights but the eastern bloc's misogyny is founded on THAT and not the same christian capitalist "man go work big job woman have 100000 babies" thing that the west and especially the US is built on, like this is from personal experience now but I've literally never heard a single negative comment about women in politics and our president is literally a woman without anyone melting down about it like americans did when a woman decided to run for president. so like. TLDR stop assuming bigotry has developed in the same way all over the world and that every country you think of as poorer than yours must then be inherently worse and more bigoted in every way

[oncominggstorm]

Y’all ever wish you could just take a vacation from thinking for a while?

[daisyishedwig]

You ever think you're super chronically online and then you see a hyperspecific dni and can't understand 60% of what's listed and realize that maybe you're actually online a normal amount and you're totally fine.

[alltimefail-sims]

I found your blog from 1 of your look books and ended up reading every ask for your story tag ... I was so impressed by each character but I got to know more about Maggie! Pls don't take it the wrong way when I say I some how hate her & also am obsessed with her (I know people get mad when you dislike a character but I think it's a compliment bc it means the writer made them complex)

First and foremost: thank you, friend!! That means a lot to me that you took the time to binge through my content and that you ended up enjoying it so much that you would stop by to tell me!!!

Second, I truly don't take it the wrong way lol. I get it, not every character is going to be liked or perceived well. You have a right to feel about them however you feel.**

**Little footnote here: I think it goes without saying but so long as your reason for disliking them isn't rooted in some kind of irrational hate like racism, transphobia/homophobia, etc., you're fine in my book!

Honestly I'm just interested in knowing what it is you dislike about her! It's a little funny because this isn't actually the first message I've received of this nature and I feel like I've shared so little about her. I know as time goes on and people learn more about her that she is more than likely going to be a controversial and polarizing figure (and far from the only one in this story). I personally have a lot of love and empathy for her as the writer and do see her more as a victim to things out of her control, but I can also admit that she went out of her way to make it hard for others to love her at times.

I will totally take it as a compliment, as you intended! I'm happy to create characters that challenge people; my only hope is that despite personal preferences, readers will still be able to understand that at the end of the day we all are imperfect and nuanced creates. Even if you don't like her, I hope you will see her (and the other controversial characters) in more than one light and extend grace (or at the very least, understanding) when it's all said and done!

[arihi]

Holding an ambient dread in me today. There’s always the scramble to try and figure out what’s causing it for me, especially because I’ve got no internal monologue and I often have to talk out loud and in depth into every little thing that’s happened just to figure out why my feelings are the way they are.

Admittedly I can think of a few things, but they’re not particularly important in the long run. My tendency is to figure out why as if it’ll solve it, or so I can intellectualize the feelings away, but emotions are so rarely cut-and-clean addressed like that. Having been so preoccupied with my past in the past, or dreading the future, it’s grounding to settle down and have moments of silence in the present. I’m on the couch typing this on my phone, the sunset is shining down on my face, whereas usually I’d hate it I’m just letting myself sit in it. Once I’ve figured out a few potential causes, it’s not that important to dive deeper and think myself into anxiety spirals. It’s okay to have an idea of it, and not rationalize away how you’re feeling. It’s okay to feel off, sometimes.

[aeide-thea]

the fact that 'getting up on stage while pregnant to do something unrelated to being pregnant without discussing being pregnant' apparently, according to at least one headline i saw, counts as 'announcing' the pregnancy is making me feel. kinda crazy

[iamonlyhereforthefreefood]

I’m so mad they’re trying John B as an adult