#although that IS more than I see my actual friends lol
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The weird feeling when my favorite cashier is at work at the local grocery store and sheâs happy to see me but goes âhello young lady, good to see you, itâs been a whileâ and I have to stand there like đ§đ» hi yes u too
Because I donât wanna out myself to a stranger (or the seven in the line behind me) and make it a Big Thing and she doesnât know me and I know what I look and sound like but. but. BUT. Young lady? Really?
[insert WFA Bruce lying on the floor here]
#siiiiiigh#canât wait for that voice drop and beard growth#Iâm gonna freak some people out (in a good way I hope)#misha rants#itâs not even transphobia she was just trying to make small talk and be nice but#well I canât just introduce myself just because we banter and have fun like once a week#although that IS more than I see my actual friends lol
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Well.
#(I'm back)#It was. Uhm. A chapter#First of all: I'm ENDLESSLY GRATEFUL to the person who sent me the translation basically as soon as the chapter came out.#I even did like 90% of typesetting but didn't finish it because I had to go out#(aka with my friends were literally knocking out at my room and I couldn't make it any more late lol)#Mixed feelings about it? Mostly because there's so much exposition... I'll need to reread it another three times before it sinks in#The color page is AMAZING 10000000000000/10 I love my sskks so much they're so cute I love them so much they're so cute.#Easily the best part of the chapter.#The color page was? Very very pretty too? Like a lot more than usual if you ask me! I can't wait for the volume cover đ„șđ„ș#It should come out soon shouldn't it? Usually color spreads / pages open the volume...#Akutagawa fake dying again is funny. Like it isssss but also. Idk it's a little lame how we're changing the pov from ss/kk again :/#I can't even tell if I'm being biased or if it's an actual storytelling critique. I don't care right now I just want to see Akutagawaâ#being cool rather than. You know. Dead on the ground.#That said! It's also very funny and touches my sense of humor precisely.#Like yeah Akutagawa being like the second strongest pm member and overall one of the most powerful ability user in the worldâ#that everyone fears (and I know he is! He is indeed for real!)#And yet he always ends up face to the ground đđđ Like if we don't count the ss/kk fights he literally only ever won against Hawthorne.#And even then he failed to kill him and Mitchell. It's so funny to me. I love him. He's so pathetic#âWow! Akutagawa is so cool and invincible now!â *ends up biting the dust not even two chapters later*#It's okay because I love him. He's very very powerful and he's also very very pathetic I love that for him#That said :/ I don't really care about Fukuzawa :/ Idk :/ Like :/#Don't get me wrong I LOVE Fukuzawa (I don't. I'm mostly neutral towards him) but this is the ss/kk moment man :/ Whatchu doin#That's about it. Let's see what the next chapter brings!#Everything accounted for I'm glad there wasn't like. A ss/kk kiss or any other big big ss/kk moment#(although Atsushi admiring Akutagawa and thinking about his eyes has its fair share of neatness to it!!)#Because with everything going on this evening I really would have been let down to miss it#But I keep hope for the next chapters!! Please...#random rambles#Had tons of fun typesetting! Even though I don't think there's a point in posting it now. But would love to do it again in the future!#bsd spoilers
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If I could make a living with taking silly little screenshots of silly little virtual people I'd do it all day.
Honestly AMM is such a godsend xD I've played on a GTA RP server for a long while, my character a photographer, and that was already so much fun, even with much more limited poses and having to direct the other players around to do this or that xD No real ability to zoom or change FoV, so much clipping to fix in post, but still a blast.
This now is like heaven, so many possibilities, I feel like I didn't even scratch the surface yet, also when it comes to custom expressions or making alternate appearances aaahhh...
#my goals of what I want to do/learn next:#not just with amm but modding in general I guess#how to make NPVs and take pics with my and some friends Vs#double-date type shooting with everyone and their LIs too because everyone has a different one xD it's gonna be great#then I want to learn how to make custom appearances because I'm going feral over the thought of seeing Kerry in game wearing V's tshirt#although I have no idea if or how that's even possible - but even if not I'll certainly learn sth out of it#and maaaaybe fumble around with making V a custom tattoo and/or eyes#it would not be a full makeover or anything - more like an adjustment of what's there#cause I do like his tattoos actually just want them to be a bit more personal (and easier to draw lol)#and I do like his eyes but I've had an idea for a tiny little adjustment/detail that I'd just really like to see come to live in game too#*yells forever* what have I done to myself picking up this game!!#loving every second absolutely thriving#i live in night city now#personal stuff#tfw the rant in the tags is longer than the actual post
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kompenscovery was such a blessed secret entrance to a Whole Deal (winnie n tay. & i guess billions) when like. having the most specific, correct opinions, and being me, = the ideal is [nobody else try to talk to me about winston billions] and thatâs just where weâre at. this is an exclusive experience
#talking to myself / making the wisdom Available by nailing my text posts (and drawings) to the church doors but then i walk away#meanwhile also of course the hero who permits [my monologuing abt winston all the more behind the scenes] w/o being sick of it after 9000hrs#i think probably other people talk abt winston but not in ways i'm interested in. Except absolute rando twitter billions viewers#this like 60 or 70 yr old lady from twitter who Loves winston. and presumably through the will roland angle lol she went to bway bmc....#just other one off tweets abt ppl like yeah he's one of my / the fave. um hell yes my scholar#or no wait lmfao like again i'd talk about this w/beth roland in theory lmfao. maybe even also hero & scholar & relevant party william#the niche on niche on niche like. looking into deh As Jared Kleinman Lore. liking an actor's je ne sais quoi & scrambling when finding out#that his upcoming bway role is Thee Lead thank you very much....the dramatic fateful saga that was [ending up watching the then available#clips from billions which was up to kompenso]....finding the peak specific peak titrated peak Exact Enrichment gift lol#beyond that i don't see [media enjoyment / takes] as much of like a springboard for Broader Socializing or anything. it Can be ig but.#that's not the goal & not the expectation. at this point reflecting on Myself & My Experiences & My Heart's Truth lmfao i'm like#beyond [i don't think i'd enjoy A Friend Group in actuality] to [i don't think i'm that interested in Friends] series or concept lol#open to whatever & flexible or whatever but eh. already i like Impersonal & Parallel activity & doing my own thing perhaps amongst others#i like impersonal but amicable spontaneous; fleeting exchanges. doing xyz ''alone'' amongst other people.#i like Not having to people please & i'm autistic so i'm generally gonna be considered [unlikable / impersonable / too much / etc] adhd too#although it's not that specific like it goes for Anything. i don't want ppl to talk to me abt [xyz] lol#request a mini monologue / short essay sure but other than that#this isn't a forum....here's the posts left on the door. one can try the anchorite window or sending a letter. doing my own thing yknow#the secret here is ''i mean i like to talk to people but; i actually in practice tend to not like to talk to people'' lmfao#one can check back when many things are more on my own terms / suited to me but. buffering wheel / flipping hourglass mode
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wish i never
pairing: Jaehyun x (f) reader
genre/warnings: smut, angst, debatable morals, unprotected sex, brotherâs worst enemy, forbidden love, markâs dad is a cop for the sake of plot, mentions of drugs and drug-related death
summary: Your brother, Johnny, hates Jaehyun and has never told you why. Although you intend on leaving it alone, unforeseen events thrust you into a forbidden love affair with Jaehyun. In between hookups and stolen kisses, you have to bury your feelings for Jaehyun around your overprotective older brother.
word count: 27.2k (listen⊠i donât know anymore okay)
a/n: this one lowkey kinda hit different for me cause iâve had a forbidden love and it broke me. you can kinda tell by how long this is lol ya girl went all OUT. as always, feedback is appreciated!
âAbsolutely not.â
âDude, come on,â Mark whined.Â
âHell the fuck no,â Yuta barked firmly, crossing his arms. âThe last time we gave you shrooms, you texted Johnny to ask him where your phone was.â
âAnd?â
âYou texted him from your own phone,â Yuta deadpanned.Â
You snickered. Your best friend and drugs were an infamously egregious combination. Mark Lee sober was already full of shit, but Mark Lee high on whatever substance he could get his hands on? Indescribably bad. You couldnât think of a word to even explain it.
Mark gestured over to you. âBut you gave her drugs.â
Yuta grimaced. âFirst of all, donât say that too loud. Johnny will kill me. Second of all, she can actually handle her shit and what can I say? She's a loyal customer.â
You added, âPlus Iâm not doing fucking shrooms. Yuta just deals me weed. If Johnny ever found out I was doing anything else, he would have a fit.â
Mark huffed something under his breath about how shrooms were the softest of soft drugs there were, not that it wouldâve helped his case.Â
Your lips curled into a grin as you joked, âWhy donât you just chug Jenoâs notorious punch and call it a night? Thatâs what Iâm gonna do.âÂ
âIâve actually got plans with a chick whoâs been dying to chug my notorious punch. Iâll be back later. Save me a drink, dude,â Mark said, grinning from ear to ear at a text message on his screen. Probably from the aforementioned chick that was begging to blow him, or so he said.Â
You pretended to wince, but gave him a high five in celebration. âAye, aye, captain,â you chirped, saluting him.Â
After Mark made a break for the stairs, you abandoned Yuta to make a beeline for the drink bar. There was no such thing as a party with some of your boys without drugs and alcohol. Your brother was an overprotective nuisance, but even he knew it was impossible to keep you away from your shots and the occasional marijuana.
Plus it would've been hypocritical as all hell, so he let it slide. Not that you wanted to press your luck with something harder. On some nights you were a little drunk and a little high, and it brought out the worst in you. You were certain all of Johnny's friends kept blackmail worthy videos of you doing the unspeakable and you were content with never knowing what all those fuckers had on you. The embarrassment would be enough to kill.
You clocked one girl dry-heaving in the corner on the way and it was all the discouragement required to make you reach for a can of beer instead. To your surprise, it seemed like somebody had a similar plan, their hand coincidentally dropping on the same one.Â
"Oh, I'm sorry. You can have itâŠ," you trailed, glancing up to make eye contact with nobody less than the devil incarnate.
Ricky looked surprised to see you, though you werenât sure why. If Jeno was throwing a party, you were bound to be in attendance. âWhat up, baby? Long time no see.â
âRicky, you lost the right to call me that the second I caught you with your pants to your ankles in a closet with what's-her-face.â
More importantly, you were frankly surprised to see him there. Your stupid ex was many things, none good, and his audacity? It was out of control. Part of you wanted to commend him, because it took guts to show his face around your side of town after you yanked his trousers down in front of everyone and their mother.Â
And yet he took that retort in stride. âBaby, how many times do I have to tell you that Iâm sorry? It was a mistake and Iâll never make it again.â
âYouâre absolutely right,â you replied, bobbing your head in agreement. âYouâre a sorry motherfucker and youâll never make it again, because weâre done for good.â
But Ricky just couldnât take the hint that you were so fucking over anything that had to do with him and crept closer, continuing darkly, âDonât you know youâre nothing without me? Nothing!â
Having surrounded yourself with enough drunk and high people countless times, it was obvious that Ricky was under the influence, which made him extremely capricious. He looked a grand total of two seconds away from reaching out and seizing you by your arm.Â
Your eyes darted across the room for anybody you knew, but it was difficult when dancing bodies obscured them from your field of view. Yuta had probably wandered to snag more drug deals, Mark was getting his dick wet, and Johnny and Taeyong were nowhere to be found.Â
You were about to resign yourself to the fact that you were positively out of luck until you heard a deep baritone ask from beside you, âDo we have a problem over here?â
It took all of two seconds to recognize its owner. Jeong Jaehyun, sang the little chorus in your head. Your brotherâs worst enemy. The beef seemed more than a little one-sided, but you didnât ask questions. For whatever reason, the mere mention of Jaehyunâs name made your brother tense.Â
It was clear that Ricky was sizing Jaehyun up and he snapped with potent venom, âWho the fuck are you?â
âThe hostâs cousin,â Jaehyun said, looking tall and foreboding, as if he was daring somebody to challenge him. âAnd you are?â
âThe love of her life.â
You didnât know how he could confidently lie like that, though you wouldnât be surprised if he wholeheartedly believed it, which was downright terrifying. You learned the hard way that this boy was as self-centered as they came.Â
Jaehyun took one look at you, and the glaringly obvious discomfort on your face, and replied, "Yeah, I don't think she wants to be around you. If I were you, I'd get the fuck out of here and never come back."
Ricky chuckled. "And if I don't?"
Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "Fuck around and find out," was all he said. His lips were drawn into a line and his gaze was fixed to your ex's idiotic face with a lethal stare. Not to mention Jaehyun had a couple of inches on him, which made you resist a satisfied little grin.
Obviously, Ricky wanted to stay and claim you as his pretty property, but even the lack of inhibitions didnât hinder his judgment at that moment. Like any wise person would, he made a beeline for the closest exit. It was common sense that Jeno and his associates were not to be fucked with.Â
Your shoulders relaxed when Ricky was gone. If anything, he had gotten off easy. He was lucky that you had no clue where Johnny was. You were positive he wouldâve knocked the sense out of him, if he had any, which was debatable.Â
âInsufferable prick,â you grumbled under your breath. Then, you glanced up to Jaehyun, who, to your surprise, was already looking at you. âThanks, Jaehyun. I donât know what he wouldâve done if you werenât here.â
Jaehyun still looked a little pissed, but your words seemed to make him soften. âYou donât have to thank me for that. Itâs basic human decency.â
âAnd some people donât even have that,â you replied, intending for it to be a joke, but it came out a little more melancholy.Â
If Jaehyun noticed, he said nothing about it.
Before he could even if he wanted to, something stitched your brows together and you mentioned, âHey, I didnât know Jeno was your cousin.â
âMe, neither.â
It took a second for that to settle in, but once you finally understood, amusement broke the confusion tensing your face and your lips parted in laughter. Jaehyun joined you. His bold-faced little white lie saved your ass, but ironically, that wasnât what you were focused on.Â
It was those deep, adorable dimples on both of his cheeks that somehow made him even more handsome.Â
Instantly, something in you chided, Bitch, donât check him out. Heâs your brotherâs worst enemy. Youâre out of your goddamn mind if you think youâre getting laid tonight just because heâs playing nice.
âI should go,â you said after a minute, finally grabbing a beer. âThanks again. I really appreciate it.â
You escaped before Jaehyun could tell you not to thank him. His eyes were fixed to your back, following you until you were obscured completely by partygoers. He knew you were Johnnyâs sister, but damn, you were kinda cute.Â
At least for now, Jaehyun wouldnât play with fire. Johnny almost kicked his ass one time and he wasnât exactly keen on getting his ass handed to him.Â
You were half tempted to stop by Jenoâs room to check if any of the guys were passing a blunt around in there, but the last time your curiosity got the better of you, you accidentally walked in on Jeno shirtless with some half-naked girl. Not a sight you wanted to relive, so you kept downstairs.Â
Your eyes scanned the living room for any familiar faces, but it was difficult to tell if anybody was there. There was a gigantic crowd dancing to Kiss Me Thru The Phone and you chuckled at a certain memory of Mark drunk-singing along to the lyrics.Â
âThere you are,â came a familiar voice beside you. Your gaze flitted to Johnny, whose face was stitched with concern. âTaeyong told me that he saw you with Jaehyun. You good?â
âIâm fine,â you hollered over the music. âJust heartbroken that Mark abandoned me to get laid.â
Any other time, Johnny wouldâve laughed, but his lips were pressed into a solid line. âHave you had anything?â
You rolled your eyes and exhaled a breath. âJust the beer in my hand, Johnny.â
He studied your face, as if he was attempting to figure out whether or not you were telling the truth, but ultimately decided to believe you. âListen, I just wanna look out for you. Youâre my little sister. If anything were to happen to you...â
âMom and Dad would kill you and dump your body in the woods for bears to find. Yes, I know,â you groaned exasperatedly, cutting him off. âI get it, Johnny. But I need you to get that Iâm not a little girl anymore.â
âIf you were a little girl, you wouldnât be here and we wouldnât give you weed.â
That comment wasnât even worth a roll of your eyes. You took a sip of beer and ignored it.Â
âWhy were you around Jaehyun anyways?â Johnny asked. It was obviously the question he was itching to ask. Probably wanted to make sure Jaehyun wasnât making any advances.Â
The memory of your bastard ex getting uncomfortably close to you after reaching for a drink he clearly didnât need, raising his voice at you in a way no woman should ever accept, made you shudder. âRicky decided to try and win me back. If you can even call it that.â
Johnny immediately perked up in anger. âWhat?â
âRelax. Jaehyun already took care of him. Thatâs why he was there. Nothing more, nothing less.â
âI swear to god, Iâm gonna kill that son of a bitch,â Johnny hissed, looking a total of five seconds away from giving someone a piece of his mind.Â
âRicky, or Jaehyun?â
âDoes it matter?â
You shrugged. Your lips parted to ask why he hated Jaehyun in the first place, but you cut yourself off. There was a reason why you didnât ask him months ago. Johnny mightâve been overprotective, but that was because he was your brother and he loved you. When he was ready, he would tell you.Â
The night dragged on. This one was a little more boring than usual, but that couldâve been chalked up to you still being shaken up about your encounter with your ex. You almost considered what wouldâve happened had Jaehyun not been around to intervene, but your mind dared not wander there.Â
Part of you wanted to know where he was camping out at. Surely, he had to be around here somewhere, but you werenât going to look. Especially not with Johnny on high alert. He was being extra careful, wanting to be there in case your ex was crazy enough to return.
You listed what you knew about Jeong Jaehyun. For one, he was fine as hell. That was undeniable. Secondly, he was lowkey, which was why you essentially knew nothing about him other than the fact that he was drop-dead gorgeous.Â
Sure, he made an appearance at these parties every now and then, but most of the time he kept to a tight-knit circle of friends and if they werenât there, there was no way in hell he was coming. Sometimes his roommatesâ threw parties at their house, but he rarely went downstairs, preferring to linger in his room doing fuck knows what.Â
You honestly couldnât blame him. People sucked. Most of them, anyways.Â
Only one day later, you were gripping an overlook, peering down at little critters splashing in the lake from the bridge above. For a long time, there was nobody there to join you other than your little nonhuman friends. You liked coming here every now and then to clear your head. It was your safe place, your happy place.Â
The sky was cloudy but there was only a nine percent chance of rain this afternoon, thus you werenât too worried. You needed to go somewhere. Home was too isolating, but everywhere else was too open.Â
You could be happy here. There were no entitled assholes or overprotective brothers around to get on your nerves every five seconds. It was only you and the gifts of nature.Â
And somebody else.Â
âI thought that was you,â said somebody from your side.Â
Imagine your shock when you turned and saw Jeong Jaehyun jogging towards you. In the fucking flesh.Â
It was harder not to check him out this time. The man was practically drenched head to toe in sweat, his very exposed skin glistening with moisture. The shirt he was wearing hugged his chest and it was all you could do not to salivate.Â
Rather than continue to rake your eyes up his frame, you asked playfully, âAre you stalking me, Jeong Jaehyun?â
Jaehyunâs eyes twinkled with mirth. God, how come you never noticed how pretty and brown they were? âActually, Iâm surprised. I was cutting through here instead of my usual jog route. The weather looked pretty bad.â
You snickered, crossing your arms. âYou didnât check the forecast before you left the house? Itâs not gonna rain. Probably.â
Jaehyun furrowed a brow. âProbably?â
âThat guy on the news is an infamous liar,â you grumbled under your breath.Â
Jaehyun chuckled. He wiped the sweat from his forehead, coming closer to the railing where you were, but kept a safe distance between your bodies lest he made you uncomfortable. âI told you why Iâm here. What about you?â
Your nose got an instant waft of Jaehyunâs scent and it was godly, which was shocking considering he was literally sweating everywhere. âOh, you know. I come here from time to time to think, or to not think. Depending on what the situation calls for.â
âReally?â
You bobbed your head. âYeah. Why?â
Jaehyun shook his head. âNothing,â was what he said, but in reality, he was thinking about how he passed this bridge nearly every goddamn day and never knew if he took a detour, heâd potentially cross paths with a pretty little thing like you.Â
You lifted a brow, but didnât press.Â
âAre you⊠okay?â Jaehyun reluctantly asked.Â
You bobbed your head. âYup, Iâm alright. Itâs just that Ricky approaching me has Johnny on edge, so now whenever I go out he and his friends are watching me like a bunch of hawks.âÂ
Jaehyun winced. âDamn. That must suck.â
âI get heâs doing it from a place of love, but fuck, sometimes I just wanna be left the hell alone, you know?â
Jaehyun nodded. God, did he know. And not only because he was an overwhelmingly introverted dude. âYeah, I know exactly what you mean.â
That caught your attention. âYou do?â
Jaehyun scratched the back of his head. âI mean, I donât have an overprotective brother, but I do have an overprotective mother. Itâs sweet and all, but do you know what it makes you look like when youâre on a date with a girl and your mom wonât stop calling you?â
Your lips couldnât help but curl into a grin. âAw, youâre a Mommaâs boy.â
âThis is exactly what I mean,â Jaehyun groaned.Â
âNo, itâs⊠cute,â you said, but it was impossible to control the giggles falling from your lips. âMost of the guys I know like that are sweethearts. Johnny, Mark. Maybe you.â
Jaehyun found that amusing. âYou think Iâm a sweetheart?â
You shrugged your shoulders. âMaybe. I donât know you well enough to decide, but seemingly, sure.â
âDo you want to?â
âDo I want to what?â
âKnow me better,â Jaehyun said, tentative. Almost as if he wasnât sure what he wanted.
That was the million dollar question. On the one hand, Jaehyun was cute and it most likely wouldnât hurt to spend a little time together, but on the other, there was the Johnny thing. You groaned. âGod, Johnny would have a heart attack if he knew I was with you right now. Maybe even an aneurysm.â
Jaehyun snickered with mischief. âWho said that he has to know?â
That response downright shocked you. You werenât expecting it from somebody like him, though then again, you knew virtually nothing about this boy and it only made you want to sate your curiosity. âOoh. Youâre trouble, Jeong Jaehyun.â
Jaehyun took that in stride. âIâm guessing you like that.â
Taking a step closer, you started to close the gap between you that Jaehyun had created for your sake. âHm, you know what they say.â
âI donât think I do.âÂ
âItâs always the quiet ones that deal the most damage,â you whispered sultrily, glancing into his gentle brown eyes.Â
Jaehyunâs eyes flickered. That caught him off-guard.
Then, you backed away and waved him goodbye. âIâve gotta go. Later, Dimples.â
Dimples? That was new. Jaehyun was pleasantly surprised by the nickname and he was so stunned that it distracted him from his train of thoughts.Â
It was only when you were long gone that he realized that you never answered his question.Â
You needed time to think, to decide if Jaehyun was worth potentially losing your brotherâs trust. You didnât know why he hated him, but his less than enthusiastic reactions to him said more than enough. Jaehyun was cute, but you could easily find another cute guy whose bones your brother didnât mention crushing.
But damn, you were curious. And curiosity killed the cat. You knew one thing, though. You were starting to like Jeong Jaehyun.Â
You shook your head, ashamed of yourself. This is really whatâs itâs come to, huh?
Jaehyun thought about that exchange on the bridge every now and then for the next couple of days and chastised himself for even making moves on you of all people. Sheâs his baby sister, you asshole. Sheâs off-limits.Â
Not that it would really stop him, if you let him have you.Â
It wasnât like Johnny had to know. Jaehyun could keep a secret and he assumed that you had a handful of your own. People with strict upbringings tended to have a lot of practice with being sneaky and your situation was close enough.Â
He sat on his bed and heaved a breath, playing with a lighter.Â
Meanwhile, you were with your boys, listening to them chatter about disgusting boy things but lowkey too curious to abandon your spot on the sofa that was too comfortable for its own good. Nobody liked sleeping on sofas, but you swore you wouldnât mind on this one. Plus sometimes youâd gotten drunk here enough where you almost dozed off.Â
You made a gagging noise when Mark started to talk about his nth blowjob of the week. You werenât counting, but he definitely was.Â
âYour dick probably has so much chlamydia that itâll mutate into a different variant like Covid,â Haechan teased.Â
You grimaced, but you definitely agreed.Â
âYouâre one to talk,â Mark snapped.Â
Haechan nodded, grinning proudly. âOf course, I am. I always wear condoms and get tested regularly. Iâm clean as a whistle.â
You shook your head in amusement. âIâve never understood the saying âclean as a whistle.â Like arenât whistles actually contaminated from being in someoneâs mouth? Now, when you combine that logic with your dickâŠâ
Jeno burst into laughter. Yuta obviously found it funny from the smile on his face and Mark would never miss a chance to laugh at his friendâs expense.Â
Haechan dramatically rolled his eyes. âAnd what about you, little miss? How often do you get laid?â
âDefinitely not as often as you guys,â you replied, coming to a stand. Not that you wanted to kiss the sofa goodbye. âIâll be right back. Iâve gotta tinkle.â
Markâs nose wrinkled. âYou didnât think that was too much information?â
You almost threw the remote at your best friend, but spared him. There was no way this dude was talking about too much information when he was literally giving you all a play-by-play of his sex life.Â
âIf it burns when you pee, Mark gave you the airborne strand of chlamydia,â Yuta joked dryly.Â
You left too quickly to see Mark attempt to murder Yuta and it was a shame that you had to miss it. There was no doubt that Haechan would exaggerate the moment to make you regret not being there, but right now, you were concentrated on finding the bathroom.Â
And of course, it was when you finally made it upstairs through the groups of bodies that you realized you didnât know where it was.Â
You groaned, cursing yourself for being so forgetful. Youâd only been here a couple of times and never long enough to use the fucking bathroom, apparently. And you really couldnât fucking hold it.Â
You glanced around the set of doors upstairs, incapable of keeping still. Thank god nobody was here except for you. If I was a bathroom, which door would I be behind?
You set eyes on a random door and said, âFuck it.â You marched right up to it and knocked none too gently, seeping with impatience.Â
To your surprise, it was Jaehyun that opened the door, a pair of headphones slung around his neck. And behind him was a bed, not a toilet.Â
Jaehyunâs eyes flickered with shock and he said your name. âWhat are you doing here?â
âOh, um, I was kinda looking for the bathroom. Iâm guessing this isnât it,â you said with a little humor, which was remarkable, all things considered. âWhat are you doing here?â
âI live here, baby.â
âOh.â You knew that, so the fact that it slipped your mind meant that you definitely werenât yourself when you had to pee.Â
Jaehyun had the audacity to laugh. He opened his door a little wider. âYou can use mine. Itâs that door over there.â
âThank you,â you said in relief, immediately darting for the bathroom.Â
You were even more relieved by the time you washed your hands and walked back into his bedroom, no longer fighting to keep still. Jaehyun was sitting on his bed where his headphones were now cast aside. God, how loud did you have to be knocking for him to hear you over those?
âYou sure were in a hurry,â Jaehyun teased.Â
You rolled your eyes, but a little laugh fell from your lips. You wholeheartedly blamed Jeno and his damn poisonous drinks. Sighing in relief, you glanced around Jaehyunâs room. For a boy, he was exceptionally tidy. He had vinyls organized on a shelf. âNo girls in here, I see.â
Jaehyun didnât know whether to be offended by that or not. âWhat do you think I am, a pimp?â
You snickered. âNah. Iâm just traumatized. Sue me.â
Jaehyun knew better than to ask questions that he didnât want to know the answers to, so he left it alone. âYou never answered my question the other day.â
âWhat question?â you asked. Obviously, you were playing dumb. You needed every second to think about what your response would be, although youâd had the past forty-eight hours and then some to contemplate.Â
Your damn brother was the only thing that stood between you and Jaehyun.Â
Johnny wasnât around this time for obvious reasons. There was no way in hell that heâd step foot in the house of his mortal enemy. He didnât want you to be there either, but you assured him that youâd steer clear of all things Jeong Jaehyun.Â
And it wasnât as if you had deliberately lied. It (kind of) wasnât your fault that you didnât know where the bathroom was.Â
âIf you wanted to get to know me better.â
You stepped over to his bed, sitting beside him and sighing. âJaehyun, you know my brother wonât approve.â
âI guess thatâs a ânoâ then,â Jaehyun muttered.Â
Your eyes glanced at his handsome face, then his beautiful, twinkling brown eyes, and finally his soft pink lips. And when they flitted so low, there was no looking back. You leaned in and pressed your lips to Jaehyunâs, waiting for him to kiss back, and when he did without hesitation your heart soared.Â
His hands flew to your back, eyes fluttering closed. God, he tasted as good as he smelled, and it was more than a little arousing. You made him fall against his mattress, straddling his hips and kissing him even deeper.
The change was welcome. His heart was racing just from locking lips with you and it took him to the sky. He grabbed a hold of your hips, which fit snugly in his palms, and listened to the soft sighs that slipped from your mouth in between the kisses.Â
Mark was probably downstairs wondering, Damn, bitch, how long does it take to piss?
You pulled back when a certain groan of his turned you on a little too much to be safe. Jaehyun was secretly disappointed, but he didnât complain, taking time to catch his breath. âIs that a maybe?â
You giggled and shook your head. âItâs a yes.â
Jaehyun sat up and grinned. He knew what he was getting himself into, but he didnât care. There was something about you that made him defy gravity.Â
Still straddling his hips, you threaded your fingers through his hair and leaned in to whisper into his ears, âWeâre playing with fire.â
âIronically, I thought the same thing,â Jaehyun deadpanned.Â
You chuckled. Well, if you didnât care, and he didnât care, nothing more needed to be said. You were really doing this.Â
Jaehyun realized that he already really liked holding you. You were warm and soft to the touch, and you fit perfectly in his arms. âHave you been drinking?â
âNope.â
âDid you do any drugs?â
âNot even a little,â you said, raising a brow at the question. Much to your chagrin, it reminded you of your brotherâs incessant worry. âWhy?â
Jaehyun said without hesitation, âBecause Iâve got weed.â
That was exciting. No wonder Jaehyun never came downstairs during his roommatesâ parties. The real party was in his bedroom. âGeez, Dimples. What are you waiting for?â
Jaehyun laughed at your enthusiasm and grabbed his lighter off his nightstand. You were flattered when he let you roll and even more when he praised your technique, which took years to develop. Thank god for your experienced friends.Â
The high had you hyper aware of everything. Jaehyunâs whole room smelled like him, to no surprise. As he said, he lived there, fuckâs sake. But it was pleasant and you were honestly forgetting that you even promised to return downstairs.
The guilt and pressure of keeping secrets from Johnny was heavy on your back a few moments ago, but after the marijuana settled in, you relaxed into Jaehyunâs side. He didnât seem to mind. Maybe it was the tree getting to his brain, but his hands got a little bolder, too.Â
And it also only enhanced your curiosity. âDo you do this often, Jaehyun?â
âYou mean invite girls into my room to talk and smoke?â
âYeah.â
Jaehyun took a drag and exhaled into the thick air of his room. âEh, not really. Iâve had girls in my room before, obviously, but it never really lasts.â
You werenât surprised. Any girl could see that Jaehyun was handsome as all fucking hell and you didnât expect him to be a total sexless loser. Matter of fact, if he told you that he was a virgin, you doubted that youâd even believe it.Â
âMaybe you havenât met the right girl then,â you suggested coyly.Â
Jaehyun chuckled. âMaybe.â
It was way too soon to ask if he thought you were the right girl, so instead you settled for asking where his interests lay. âWhat exactly are you looking for?â
Jaehyun knew the answer to that question in perfect detail because heâd thought about it countless times, being his typical hopeless romantic self. This was a boy that dreamed of finding his miss right before he went to bed. He was a simple guy. He wanted picket fences and kids. Perhaps a puppy.Â
But maybe it wasnât all too simple. Jaehyun wasnât searching for a housewife. He wanted someone to go to random old shops with and look at vintage items together. He wanted someone that didnât draw a lot of attention, but liked to go outside and explore. Money be damned. Thanks to his mother, he had ample cash, but no one to spend it on.Â
Jaehyun hummed, pretending to think about his answer. âGuess.â
You threw him a look. âAre you serious?â
Jaehyun bobbed his head eagerly, lips curling into a mischievous little grin. âIâll tell you, but I want you to guess first.âÂ
You sighed and glanced around his bedroom for clues, and fortunately enough, there were plenty. âVinyls from the nineties. Youâre an old soul and you want someone who fits your vibe. You smell like expensive cologne, so maybe you want someone to wine and dine, but you definitely want to be comfortable.â
Jaehyun said nothing, but you could tell that he was listening.Â
You looked at the pictures of him and an older woman framed on his nightstand and continued, âYou want the type of girl you can take home to your mother. And your mother wants the absolute best for her son, so she raised you to have high standards.â
âYouâre good at this,â Jaehyun muttered.Â
âIâm nowhere close to being finished,â you said, grinning from ear to ear. âJudging from the souvenirs on your shelf, you like going to different places, so you want someone curious and adventurous in nature. Appreciative and respectful of different peoples' cultures.â
Jaehyun was only smiling at this point. It was kind of funny and spooky being read like this.Â
âYouâve searched for love and havenât found something that feels right, so now you keep girls around for a good time, not a long one. And you love a damsel in distress, I think,â you said, concluding your investigation.Â
âWow,â was all Jaehyun said.Â
Though you already knew the answer, you pressed your lips into a smile and asked, âAm I warm?â
âYouâre on fire,â he replied, wondering how in the hell you got all that just from looking at his bedroom. âBut how did you know?â
âThat you love a damsel in distress?â
âThat Iâve looked for love and gave up on it.â
You almost rolled your eyes. You couldnât believe he was seriously asking that question. âNo offense, but you scream hopeless romantic. Plus youâre hot. You know your worth and what you want and I doubt itâs meaningless sex.â
Jaehyun had this melancholy look on his face for the briefest of seconds, but it disappeared so quickly you couldâve imagined it being there.Â
âI donât think you gave up, I think you took a little pause. You know sheâs out there, and when the timeâs right, youâll know.â Then, you abandoned the sadness and quipped, âBut youâre also a guy, and guys want sex.â
Jaehyun chuckled, but you had somehow penetrated his mind. You had part of him figured out and he didnât know what to do with that. It was too soon to get too deep.Â
You exhaled contentedly, but the marijuana had you thinking. You couldâve been wrong about Jaehyun. You had definitely been wrong before.Â
There was this tension in the room now that neither of you were equipped to handle. As standard when he was fooling around with a girl, there was a piece of him that wondered if it could be the real thing this time, but he didnât want to get ahead of himself.Â
It wouldnât have been the first time.Â
Jaehyun gave you back the blunt. âWhat about you - what are you looking for?â
âWho said I was looking?â you asked with obvious amusement.Â
That shattered Jaehyunâs former thoughts of possibly wifing you up one day. Of course you didnât intend on dating the dude your brother hated. It wouldâve been a very unconventional relationship. You could keep him around for fun, but it would have to end sooner or later.Â
So Jaehyun contentedly resigned himself to the fact that you would pass, just like all the other girls he brought up to his room, and decided he was fine with that. Maybe he had high standards, but youâd forgotten to mention the part that they came with moderate hopes and low expectations.
That way getting hurt was borderline impossible.Â
Then, Jaehyun started to grin like an idiot and reminded, âYou said that you think Iâm hot.â
âI literally said that ten hundred hours ago,â you groaned, exhaling a puff of smoke into the air.Â
You cried out in shock when he grabbed your hips and pulled you back onto him again, but instinctively leaned into his shoulder. Jaehyun was (usually) humble, but anyone who thought he didnât know he was hot was a fool. âAm I hot enough to kiss?â
Your lips tugged into a smile, and rather than directly answer his question, you went in for a kiss, holding the blunt away from his face so that he wouldnât get burned. Jaehyun effortlessly matched your rhythm and it was dumbfounding how he could be so excellent of a kisser.Â
You spent the better half of the night passing a blunt back and forth with Jaehyun, kissing and talking in between (featuring some inappropriate touches). Jaehyun was so fucking easy to talk to, the topics were boundless. Neither of you opened up much outside of your relationship goals and lack thereof, but you still got to know each other a little better.Â
Jaehyun loved music from r&b to jazz to soul, though you couldâve guessed how passionate he was after one look at his vinyl collection. He was flirty sometimes, but soft-spoken and very gentleman-like and he never once proposed for the two of you to have sex. Plus he was a bit of a goofball.Â
To say nothing of the fact that he could play the guitar. You didnât know why, but that somehow made him even more delightful.Â
It was pleasant to be in the presence of a guy that was simultaneously attractive and respectful.
Because it was far too late for you to drive yourself home when you finally started to get sleepy, he let you steal his bed and slept in the room of one of his roommateâs that was never home, according to Jaehyun.Â
Jungkook was what he said his name was. Apparently he basically lived full-time in his girlfriendâs apartment and Jaehyun didnât know why he still paid rent, but he didnât complain. It was going to be a sad day for his bank account when Jungkook finally moved out.Â
And that left Yugyeom. He was the one that threw all of the parties. You asked Jaehyun last night why he rarely came downstairs during those parties and his response was, âI donât like the attention.â
Morning had come loudly as ever. Birds chirped outside, singing sweetly. You stretched your arms above your head and yawned, unable to ignore the dark curtains that effectively kept the sunlight out.Â
The first thing you did was let a little light in. And the second thing was remember how you spent last night, memories of marijuana and laughter, and flirtatious behavior hitting you all at once. It seemed that Jeong Jaehyun was a promise of fun.Â
Grabbing your phone, you headed down the stairs and breathed a little in relief when you saw Jaehyun already awake, waiting by the toaster. âGood morning, Dimples.â
Jaehyun turned when he heard your voice and the smile that spread across his lips was instantaneous. âGood morning, beautiful. How did you sleep?â
âI shouldâve known that your bed would be as cool and collected as you are,â you quipped, rubbing your arms. It was colder without Jaehyunâs blankets to help strengthen the temperature.Â
Jaehyun shook with mirth and it was a sight you wanted to see more often.Â
âI couldâve slept on the sofa,â you said without complaint. âThe party was over by the time we called it a night and itâs the most comfortable sofa Iâve ever put my butt on.â
âIt goes against everything I believe in to let you sleep on a couch when thereâs a perfectly functional bed upstairs.â
âAw, what a gentleman,â you replied, coming to stand at his side. âI drew the curtains in your room open, by the way. I donât know how you live like a damn vampire.â
âWhatâs wrong with living like a vampire? Vampires are cool.â
âI donât think Vampires need Vitamin D. Humans do,â you retorted, arms crossed.Â
Jaehyunâs lips curved into a stupid little smile that reeked of mischief and you instantly knew where his thoughts were before he even said anything.Â
You rolled your eyes at his silliness and told him, âWhatever youâre about to say - donât.â
Bagels popped out of the toaster and the sight of food made Jaehyun forget about his previous shenanigans. He set both bagels on individual plates that already had food and said, âI made you something. Itâs not much because Iâve gotta go soon, but I didnât want you to be hungry.â
âThank you,â you said with gratitude, accepting the plate he handed to you. Plate in hand, you went to sit at the table, watching Jaehyun bring cups over.Â
âYouâre welcome,â Jaehyun told you gently. âNext time Iâll make you a real full-course meal as a treat.â
You gawked. âYou can cook?â
âA little bit, yeah. Why?â
âYou just got so much hotter,â you breathed.
Jaehyun grinned.Â
The time you spent together that morning was a duplicate of the night before except there were only the lingering overnight highs instead of the fresh ones. You were sad that you had to leave, but Jaehyun had to work and you needed to go home.Â
Sitting in your car, you checked your phone for the first time in hours. There had to be a thousand missed calls and unanswered messages from your friends and Johnny. Though it wasnât unusual for your phone to be on Do Not Disturb, it was definitely strange to not at least tell your loved ones that you were very much still alive.Â
You were just so hooked on Jaehyun that it completely slipped your mind to check your phone. There wasnât a dull moment upstairs in his bedroom and even when it was silent you were comforted by the sound of a vinyl playing quietly on his record player, which you were stunned that he even had.Â
You texted your friends to let them know that you were on the way home and called Johnny to get his usual tantrum out of the way before you got there, but it was safe to say that you werenât expecting to come back to Johnny and Mark waiting for you in the kitchen like two unhappy parents.Â
You reached into the cabinet to grab a glass and deadpanned, âUh oh. Am I in trouble?â
Mark snickered and he looked like mischief. âVery much so.â
Your gaze flitted towards Johnny, who was clearly the more disgruntled of the two, and asked, âWhy are you looking at me like that?â
âYou look like you had a long night.â
âThatâs probably because I did.â
âDid you hook up with anyone?â
You grimaced. âGross, Johnny. Do I ask you who and what you do with your dick?â
Johnny gave you a look that told you he was serious.Â
âNo, I didnât hook up,â you replied, filling your glass with water and hoping to find a way out of this situation so that you could shower and brush your teeth.Â
Johnnyâs lips were tugged into a frown. This older brother responsibility was far from easy when his little sister made it even harder to check up on her. âI worry about you. Is that a crime?âÂ
You exhaled a long breath. âYouâre right. I should have at least let you know that I was okay and I didnât, and Iâm sorry. I just got⊠distracted.â
That got Markâs attention and he butted in dramatically, âWhere did you go last night? I was this close to filing a police report, but it hadnât been twenty-four hours.â
Typical cop father response. That was half the reason why nobody wanted to deal him drugs. Thank goodness he had you to vouch for him. âAnd what would you do if I was off with a serial killer instead of some hot guy?â
âI wouldnât be too worried. Youâre annoying. They would return you on the front doorstep with a note that said âcome get your bitch back.ââ
You were tempted to roll your eyes, but you noticed Johnny laugh a little and it honestly made you feel somewhat better. He had been painfully uptight lately and you just wanted him to chill for once.Â
âIâm gonna go take a shower and brush my teeth,â you announced, discarding your glass in the sink and heading for the stairs.Â
Of course, Mark had more insults on deck and didnât hesitate to add, âYouâre gonna need more than that for all the cum you had to have gargled last night.â
âFor the last time, I did not hook up,â you huffed in exasperation, marching up the stairs. âAnd get the hell out of my house - you donât even live here!â
You could hear Mark laughing from the overlook.Â
A lot of time was spent counting down the hours until you could see Jeong Jaehyun again. You learned that he was not the type of guy to sit around waiting by his phone. This was a busy man with business to take care of and he didnât have a lot of spare time.Â
You didnât mind, because he spent it talking to you, which was definitely an indicator that he was starting to really like you. With so few hours in a week, let alone a day, it was hard to believe he let just anyone consume the little downtime that remained.Â
Jaehyun let you crash some nights at his place when your brother was being a massive thorn in your side. It wasnât a crime, but it was easy to get away with, all things considered. Yugyeom never bothered either of you and Jungkook was rarely there, so you spent most of the time talking incessantly and getting high.Â
Maybe some kisses were shared in between, but nothing more. Jaehyun was content with just getting to know you for now. His usual invitees consisted of one-night stands and girls he hung out with for a couple of weeks, but you were different. You made him think, high or not, and it was rare a girl penetrated his mind so deeply.
And so quickly. It had only been a month, maybe a little longer. He was still afraid of being completely open with you, but the way the two of you touched each other was starting to get riskier and riskier.Â
Kisses lasted longer. More than once, he caught himself going after your clothes, but he didnât want to seem like an animal. You did seem a little eager too, kissing the breath out of him and getting more and more flirtatious, but Jaehyun hated having to guess.Â
He wanted you to tell him what you wanted in no uncertain terms. No room for uncertainty.Â
Yugyeom knocked on Jaehyunâs bedroom door, which was already cracked ajar, and asked, âHey, is she coming over tonight?â
âYes, so please be on your best behavior. No bullshit,â Jaehyun replied, getting a whiff of the trouble that was Yugyeom and wrinkling his nose.Â
âHave you guys⊠you know?â
âThatâs a personal question.â
âSo you havenât.â Yugyeom pressed, âMan, when are you gonna tell her youâve got the hots for her? You know what, Iâll clear the house and leave a bottle of wine out. Light one of your expensive candles. Girls like that shit.â
Like hell Jaehyun needed advice on how to set the mood, from Yugyeom much less. Plus he was none too pleased at being interrupted, especially because now he was thinking about having sex with you and it was doing things to him down there. âI think I know what girls like.â
âThen whatâs the problem? And donât tell me that you havenât thought about it. Weâre both dudes, man. Thatâs bullshit.â
âThere isnât one,â Jaehyun replied to his roommate honestly. Of course, he had thought about having sex with you. He mightâve been respectful, but like Yugyeom said, he was still a dude. Hell, the words had come out of your own mouth.Â
Yugyeom prodded, âThen?â
âI just donât wanna rush into it.â
Now that Yugyeom could buy. Jaehyun was sentimental like that. When he really liked a girl, evaluating her worth took priority over getting laid. Jaehyun had this wall of ice put up that even Yugyeom had to steadily break through. Ironically, sometimes it felt like he was still on the outside.Â
But he put two and two together. If Jaehyun liked you - as in really, really liked you - then that made shit even more complicated. It was no secret that Johnny had it out for Jaehyun and he obviously came to the same conclusion that Jaehyun had; shit getting serious with you was dangerous.Â
So Yugyeom left it alone.Â
Like clockwork, you were pulling into Jaehyunâs driveway only a few hours later. You discerned that the lot was empty save for your car and Jaehyunâs which more than likely implied that the two of you would be completely alone in the house together.Â
Slipping the spare key from under the mat, you unlocked the door and sang after locking it behind yourself, âDarling, Iâm home!â
âIâm upstairs,â Jaehyun called out from the second floor, his room door obviously open for once. The benefits of having the house to himself.Â
You didnât hesitate to make your way upstairs, not failing to clock the bottle of expensive wine on the counter when you passed by the kitchen, but you thought little of it when you came through the hallway and slipped into Jaehyunâs comfortable bedroom. âHey, Dimples,â you greeted.Â
Jaehyun smiled at you and waved. His room was dimly lit. The overhead lights were turned off, but the candles on his nightstand were ablaze and there was an old school classic going on in the background.Â
The second you came in, Jaehyun set his book aside, giving you his undivided attention. âCome here.â
You wasted no time doing as told, advancing towards the bed and giggling when he snatched you into his open arms for a handful of kisses. Your whole body was soothed from his slightest of touches, at ease in his arms. Jaehyun had quickly become your second safe place.Â
God, you had been waiting for this moment all week. Johnny wasnât on your ass any more than usual, but it got lonely in that house and it was even worse when you found yourself only craving Jaehyunâs company. There was something happening to you and you couldnât tell if you liked it or not.Â
Jaehyun drew back after a minute, taking a moment to breathe and brush a loose strand of hair behind your ears. âThings okay at home?â
âNew topic,â you groaned.Â
Jaehyun winced. That couldnât have been too good.Â
âYou smell good,â you purred, breathing in his scent.Â
âYou always say that.â
âBecause you always smell good.âÂ
âI just got out of the shower.â
âWithout me?â
âYou sound like a guy,â Jaehyun said in disapproval.Â
You snickered. You had definitely gotten that comment from a boy before.
Jaehyunâs eyes were fixed to your face, taking in how beautiful you were. Damn, it was like every time he saw you, you looked even more breathtaking.Â
You couldnât help but stare back. Jaehyunâs visuals were out of this damn universe and it was borderline maddening he could be this fucking fine. But deeper than that, sometimes you couldnât help but stare into his dark eyes and wonder what all he was hiding back there.Â
It was plain as day that Jaehyun wasnât the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, especially not when his romantic feelings were involved. In the time that youâd spent together, you had gotten to learn some things about him, but there was plenty that he filtered out as a defense mechanism.Â
When you wanted to get closer, Jaehyun shut down, which was totally ironic, because he was the one that asked if you wanted to get to know him. Now you had to fight for it?
Maybe he meant get to know his body and you were oblivious - and you wouldnât have minded one bit - but if that was the case, you shouldâve already had sex and been out of the picture. Yet he was keeping you twice as long as most girls lasted and for no apparent reason.
Sex made things more complicated. If you had sex with Jaehyun right now, and it was good, there was absolutely no telling how that would shift the trajectory of your entire life. But the way he was looking at you right now tempted you to risk it all.Â
Your lips found Jaehyunâs again, but the kiss was different this time. It was needier, desperate. It sent heat stretching through every bone in your body and straight between your thighs, and you felt like you were levitating. Your body scorched with desire, hands running down his chest.Â
Jaehyun kept up with your reckless kissing very well, but he couldnât ignore the nature of it and it made him ask himself questions. You were kissing him like you wanted him. Tired of wondering, he pulled back and asked forthrightly, âDo you want to have sex with me?âÂ
âIsnât it obvious?â you countered, quickly seizing the opportunity to return your lips to his.
All of this beating around the bush was getting on his nerves and Jaehyun took matters into his own hands. Literally. You gasped when he pushed you onto your back, pinning you onto his bed, and locked your wrists above your head. âI want to hear you say it.â
Now that was sexy as hell and your thighs involuntarily pressed together. âI want to have sex with you.â
That was all Jaehyun needed to hear. He was quick to catch your lip in between his teeth and seal your lips in another heated kiss, taking in your every trembling exhale. You moaned into his mouth, a little too enamored with how good it felt beneath him.Â
His hands released your wrists in favor of your waist, testing the waters. You were reactive to Jaehyunâs touches, hyper aware of his hands steadily falling lower, but not daring to touch you too intimately yet. Like he was waiting for something to happen.Â
Jaehyunâs eyes sank to your empty neck and something deep in the pit of his gut was set on fire. âAre marks okay?â
Making quick work of his shirt and tossing it over his shoulders, you nodded your head. âYeah. Johnny will notice, but heâll never assume theyâre from you.âÂ
It took absolutely nothing else for Jaehyun to connect his lips to your throat hungrily, leaving mark after mark on your skin in an effort to stake his claim to you. And all it did was turn you on further. There was a thudding between your legs, arousal spilling over.Â
Little soft sighs and curses slipped from your lips and you could feel the bedroom get hotter and hotter. It wasnât as if you and Jaehyun had agreed to be exclusive, but you hadnât been with anyone else in the time that the two of you had been hanging out, meaning it had been over a month since youâd last had sex.Â
And it fucking showed. You were aching for more, on top of your natural desire for Jaehyun. If you didnât fuck his brains out right now you were going to self-destruct.
âJaehyun, fuck me,â you groaned impatiently.Â
Instead, he grinned, too fond of the neediness in your voice and on your pretty face. Jaehyun looked you plain in the eye and said, âI want you to beg.â
You were too gone to roll your eyes, but not too out of it to retort, âMake me.â
âIâm gonna make you beg, alright,â Jaehyun said without question. He made a move for your shorts and tugged them off your ankles, repeating the gesture with your panties.Â
The only thing that kept you from being totally naked was your top but Jaehyun didnât look too concerned with getting rid of it yet. Instead, he focused his undivided attention between your legs, entranced by your glistening core and his mouth going dry with the desire to have a taste.Â
You watched the enthrallment on his face with satisfaction. Funny how his ability to conceal his emotions went out the window when pussy was involved. His eyes were dark as ever and Jaehyunâs voice somehow got deeper when he asked, âWill you let me taste you?âÂ
âFuck,â you mumbled, sensing that he was about to wreck the living hell out of you. âUh, yeah. Yes.â
No room for uncertainty. Now that he had your consent, Jaehyun gathered your legs in his hands, tossed them over his broad shoulders, and went to town. You gasped aloud at the first pass of his tongue at your clit and it couldnât have been further from tentative.Â
Of course this man went straight for your sensitive bundle of nerves instead of your slick folds, he knew better. Given how exciting the thought of Jaehyun dicking you down had been, you were already throbbing, but now you were tense and unstill.
There was something about the feeling of his lips sucking and licking at your cunt that made you squirm and cry out in an overwhelming bolt of pleasure. Jaehyun clamped his big hands onto your thighs to keep you pliant, holding them right where he wanted them, and kept eating you out.Â
It made zero sense how hot you found every little thing that he did.Â
âJesus, fuck,â was basically all that you could say. With how vigorously Jaehyun was sucking at your bundle of nerves, it was getting borderline impossible to think.Â
Jaehyun sure didnât seem timid. Matter of fact, the way he refused to shy away from in between your pair of legs, doing everything in his power to keep them separated at both sides of his head, said loud and clear that he was a man on a mission to make you unravel.Â
Not to mention that he was doing a damn good job. Your ears were hardly even working, the whole world fading to static, the only audible sound being the incessant throb of your pulse quickening by the minute.Â
The sheer opposite was true for Jaehyun. His ears were on full alert and he could hear everything from the increasing volume and speed of your breaths plus your soft moans to the gentle rustling of the trees' leaves outside his open window.Â
Jaehyun peered up at you, noticed the euphoria tensing your beautiful features, and his lips broke into a wide grin. âHow are you doing up there?â
No words would come. It took twice as long to even process the ones that left his mouth. Your eyes were drooping and misty, damp with moisture, and all that escaped you was a befuddled, âFuck.â
Jaehyun snickered. That was answer enough. âIt sounds to me like youâre having a fun time,â he started. âDo you want to cum?â
You obviously heard that and hissed, âDonât ask stupid questions.âÂ
âIf you want to cum, then beg me for it,â Jaehyun growled darkly. You appreciated the brief lull of peace, but of fucking course, it was that moment Jaehyun chose to press a long pair of fingers into your dripping pussy.
Your back arched and your soft cries filled the air. It felt like somebody had given Jaehyun the blueprints to your body with how he excelled at satisfying you in ways literally nobody had previously.Â
The answer was obvious. Jaehyun wanted you to beg? Fuck it. You would beg.Â
âPlease,â you said, your voice raising a few pitches. âOh, god. Please make me cum, Jaehyun.â
Jaehyun didnât make a sound but you could feel his mouth on your cunt again and knew that he was about to take you there. Â
And then it came. The mind-numbing orgasm engulfed you in its fury and you were scarred with burns from head to toe, most of it pivoting towards your core.Â
Your hands desperately grasped locks of Jaehyunâs soft fluffy hair in an attempt to anchor yourself and you didnât release him from your clutches until every tremble faded. Jaehyun got so aroused watching you shudder with release that he swore his own mind went blank.Â
It took a good minute and a half at the least for your mind to start to clear itself and you sighed pleasantly as the wrath of your orgasm slowly began to die out. You peered down at Jaehyun, blinking a couple of times, and slackened your grip when you realized how tightly your hands were latched to him.
Jaehyun didnât seem to mind, contentedly watching you try to gather your bearings. âAre you back to earth?â
âBarely,â you rasped, still unable to feel your thighs.Â
âDo you want to stop?â
You gawked. âAre you kidding? I still wanna fuck you. If you still wanna fuck me.â
âI still want to fuck you,â Jaehyun said, pulling you in for another hot but reassuring kiss. It was hard to breathe, but so worth it. You slipped your tongue into his mouth and tasted yourself on his.Â
Kissing you made Jaehyun feel like he was ascending, but right now it also made his dick ascend and his patience was steadily dissipating into thin air. You could feel his hard-on against your naked thigh and it sent shock waves to your brain.Â
I think thatâs the best head Iâve ever had, you admitted to yourself, but not aloud. Your dating history wasnât top secret but you spoke little of it to Jaehyun. Did it matter that all of your exes were scumbags and rarely bothered to get you off?
Except for one. The sex was good, but it wasnât a fair trade-off for your heart. No man nor his cock was worth your sanity and you told that to yourself every time you engaged with one.Â
Plus you just got this weird feeling where nothing or nobody else mattered when you and Jaehyun were alone together. You didnât think of the various roots of the stresses in your life and calmness was finally an option.Â
You didnât want to ruin that, so you didnât get too deep.Â
But you were hoping Jaehyun was packing enough to be deep inside of you. Fuck that, you had felt it against your thigh. You knew that he was and it was exciting.Â
Your voice was weighed down by the thickness of your breaths. âDo you have condoms?â
âAlways,â Jaehyun replied, pulling a drawer open on his nightstand to retrieve one.
That was a relief. You had never done it raw before and though you liked Jaehyun, you werenât sure where his dick had been and what all it had seen. Youâd rather be safe.
Jaehyun gently pushed you back onto the mattress and crawled over you, drawing the condom between his teeth while he tossed your shirt and bra halfway across his bedroom, then whispered, âTell me how you want it.â
âHard and deep. Deep and hard,â you confessed sultrily, looking him dead in the eye.Â
Jaehyun smirked. âThat can be arranged.â
You watched Jaehyun shuffle out of his pants and put the condom on, but the bulk of your attention was set on that thick, girthy cock. Your mouth was watering. Maybe some other time you could suck him off, but right now getting it between your thighs was all you wanted.Â
It didnât seem as if he glanced up, but Jaehyun said, âYouâre staring.â
âSorry.â
âNo, youâre not,â Jaehyun said.Â
You giggled. âNo, Iâm not.â
The sound faded when you spread your legs apart invitingly and he penetrated you at an excruciatingly slow pace, sinking deeper inch by fucking inch.Â
You and Jaehyun made a sound in harmony when he finally filled you to the hilt, grasping your waist and using it as anchor like he was at risk of going dangerously deep if he made one wrong move and never returning to the surface.Â
Good thing it was only the two of you. You, keeping quiet when he was this good with his hands and presumably even better with his thick cock? There was no way in hell.Â
âOh my godâŠ,â you whispered, obsessed with the sensation of being filled.Â
Whatever you were thinking right now, Jaehyun wholeheartedly agreed. You made his brain grind to a halt and stutter. âDoes that feel okay?â
âMore than okay,â you told him, because it was the truth. Somehow the pleasure was only spiking. The ecstasy continued to build.Â
You looked so beautiful beneath the golden-yellow hue of his lamplight and Jaehyun knew he would be fantasizing about how your face tensed with pleasure for weeks, if not months.
Jaehyun especially liked the way you were tightening around his cock, gripping it for dear life as if letting go simply wasnât an option. You wound your legs around his hips and helped draw him into yours in spite of knowing it could ruin you, a telltale sign that your desire for more outweighed any rational thinking.Â
It just felt so good that it had to be illegal and though you knew that it wasnât, it was damn near close.Â
There was still music playing from the vinyl player in the background that soothed any and all nerves that you couldâve ever had. You took a moment and inhaled deeply, breathing in the musk of Jaehyun and the scent of the candles.Â
Your eyes fluttered closed. It was ironic that you were on a raging high even though you hadnât even gotten around to having your usual fill of marijuana. In legal terms, you were far from inebriated. But according to yourself? You were fiending for Jaehyun and found him lethally intoxicating.Â
His weight on top of you. His deep, guttural grunts in your ear between his jagged breaths. His perfect thrusts and the way he stroked you exactly how you wanted, all the while reaping his pleasure from your body.Â
It was fucking mind-blowing.Â
Jaehyun had a similar thought and it tore a noise out of him. His intentions in inviting you over tonight werenât to have sex, in spite of his roommateâs attempts at getting him to get laid when he was only trying to break you in, but it was an unregrettable decision.Â
âYou take it so good, baby,â Jaehyun said tenderly, but it barely scratched the tip of the iceberg of praises he had in storage especially for you.Â
Fuck, you wanted to hate how easy it was for him to kindle these rash flames inside of you, but your attraction to Jaehyun became undeniable the second you initiated the first rendezvous.Â
You were peering into Jaehyunâs soul, searching his whole face without knowing what you were looking for, and saw the euphoria fluttering his eyes closed and spreading his lips apart just enough for those heavenly sounds to slip through.Â
You guessed you found it then, because the tightening in the pit of your gut was at an all-time high and it wasnât skipping out on the extremes.Â
Combing your hands through his hair, you whimpered, âIâm so close.â
Jaehyun accelerated his pace, wanting to take you to the ends of the earth and back. You noticed, because you could feel his hard dick slapping against your hips with a purpose, and you swore to god your eyes rolled somewhere black.Â
The end was creeping up on you from behind. You could feel it. Jaehyun could feel it himself, the telltale twitch of his cock indicating that he was pushing his limits.Â
âI want you to cum,â Jaehyun growled in no uncertain terms, his tone dominant. âNice and hard. Can you do that for me, baby?â
âYes,â you choked out.Â
If you were being frank, he didnât even have to ask. It was impossible to hide the evidence of your impending orgasm, the heightened tremors in your voice and the shakiness in your body were more than enough proof.Â
All you could think about was how restlessly you were going after this orgasm and how terribly you needed it like it would fix every little thing going wrong in your life.
Your hands slipped from Jaehyunâs hair to his shoulders to finally his back, raking your nails down the flesh in a set of ministrations that were bound to leave red lines, and you rasped breathlessly, âFinish me.â
The hoarseness of your voice alone couldâve broken Jaehyun but he hung on for your sake, fingertips flitting to your sensitive, swollen clit again because he knew he wouldnât last very much longer.Â
You were even more restless than before and it wasnât long until Jaehyun granted your wish, your lips parting in a scream and your vision going totally black. Your toes curled into tight bends as you grinded your hips into Jaehyun, milking your release for every damn dime.
Jaehyun could feel you clenching rapidly and repeatedly around his cock and merely seconds after that it was game over. He came with the deepest, sexiest groan you had ever heard before in your life, hips stuttering as his cum filled the condom, and all you could think about was how this could not be a one-time thing.Â
The next few minutes were a blur. You only recalled Jaehyun peeling off you to dispose of the condom, the layers of sweat on your naked bodies keeping you connected, and returning to your side briefly.Â
Jaehyun scanned you for any signs of obvious discomfort. âAre you okay?â
Your mouth was hanging open, aggressive pants falling from your lips, but Jaehyunâs attention was no longer focused on your heaving chest - it was on you. âNo, more like incredible.â
That had Jaehyun in the first half, but he snickered in amusement and relief when you wrapped up your sentence. âDo you wanna shower with me?â
âThatâs kinda intimate,â you said, as if that was actually going to stop you. âHell yeah, I do.â
Jaehyun rolled his eyes, but there was a smile plain as day on his face. You cried out in surprise when he hauled you into his burly arms, hooking one of them under your knees, and carried you into his bathroom.Â
Your own individual toothbrush was in there on the sink counter squarely beside Jaehyunâs. It was only right that he let you keep one there, given how many late Friday nights you spent at his house instead of your own.Â
Plus some of your clothes were there, tucked into his drawers, but when you returned to his bedroom, you donned one of his shirts that was unsurprisingly oversized on you.Â
You sat on Jaehyunâs bed, memories of what youâd just done on his sheets still fresh, and watched him rifling through his vinyl catalog, but because he was shirtless you quickly got distracted by the view you had of his back.Â
At least until he turned around after setting the vinyl on his record player, apparently oblivious, and coming to sit at your side.Â
There was mischief on your face and you were struggling to stifle a giggle. It was obvious, and Jaehyun furrowed his brows. âWhy are you looking at me like that?â
âOh, nothing.â
Jaehyun didnât believe you at all, but he didnât press.Â
You sighed contentedly, leaning into his naked chest. The little voice in your brain was thinking about how he smelled so clean and fresh, and good. Well, duh, she snapped. If you somehow werenât paying attention, he just got out of the shower.Â
But you were definitely paying attention, maybe a little more than you shouldâve. It wasnât your fault he looked like the leading role of every romance book ever. This was a man out of every little girlsâ childhood dreams and, more importantly, every grown womanâs wet ones.Â
As Jaehyun held you in his arms, you couldnât help but think, spotting little items in his room that screamed, I come from money. âJaehyun, is it okay if I ask you a question?â
Jaehyun hummed. You figured he mightâve been close to dozing off, but in reality, he was just captivated by the smell of your hair and hoping it lingered on his pillows.Â
âYouâre pretty well-off, but you live with two other guys. Youâre technically always alone, but you donât live alone. Why?â
Now that wasnât what Jaehyun was expecting you to ask him, but you were full of surprises. He took a moment to ponder his answer, finding himself reflecting. âItâs because of how I grew up, I guess. I was the only child, so it was just me and my parents in the house. I guess I kind of wanted to know what it's like to have brothers.â
You made a noise of content. âYouâre close then.â
âYup.âÂ
You could feel Jaehyun playing with your hair and it made you smile gently.
âWhat about you and your friends?â
âWhat about them?â
âWhatâs the relationship like? Have you fucked Mark?â
You were taken aback, though rather than be affronted, the ridiculousness of that question made you laugh. âNo way. I prefer my vagina itch-free,â you quipped.Â
Jaehyun chuckled. It was a shock that that kid got around town the way he did, but that was why Jaehyun had to respect the hustle.Â
Then, out of nowhere, you got a little sober. âOn a serious note, Mark is my bestie and heâs what I imagine having a little brother is like. Johnny really likes him too, so sometimes Iâll walk in on them hanging out without me.â
You didnât notice the way Jaehyunâs head bobbed along, but he was listening. It was believable. Mark was a social butterfly and impossible to dislike, no matter how irritating.Â
And he was only irritating to some. Those who didnât find him to be a thorn in their side probably wanted him a number of inches deep in their guts.Â
You continued, âYuta is more Johnnyâs friend than he is mine, but heâs laidback. Haechan is a little shit but heâs funny as fuck. And you know Jeno is chaotic as ever.â
You were fond of your circles of friends. Most folks assumed it mustâve been suffocating to be the only girl amongst a group of insufferable horny dudes, but it wasnât half bad. Jeno had tried to get into your pants before, but when you turned him down he took the rejection coolly.Â
Mark, like you said, was like a sibling to you and that went both ways. When somebody suggested the two of you hook up, his knee-jerk reaction was to hiss, âEw!â
Haechan was a slut like all of them but he knew better than to slut himself out to you and Yuta, though you already couldnât have been further from his type, was one of your older brotherâs closest friends. According to Yuta himself, the thought of being in a relationship with you was hilarious.Â
Never mind the fact that he admitted heâd actually do it, but strictly for fun. Pissing off Johnny was his full-time job and dating his younger sister? It wouldâve been the easiest way.Â
You and Jaehyun chatted until you couldnât ignore each otherâs incessant yawns and made the mutual agreement to crawl under the sheets together. A rare Jungkook appearance one weekend forced you into bed with each other and ever since that was how youâd slept.Â
Side by side, skin to skin.Â
The sun was brighter than ever when you woke up some hours later. You noticed that the curtains were open. And they had been since you likened Jaehyun to a vampire.
Speaking of Jaehyun, he was still sleeping like a rock beside you, completely still other than the gentle heave of his chest as he snored quietly. You crawled gingerly out of bed so as not to disturb his rest, the sight of him still asleep when you stood making you sigh out in relief.Â
After a quick wash-up in the bathroom, you headed downstairs for a snack. Your stomach was rumbling and you realized that you hadnât eaten since you left home.Â
What you didnât expect was to see Yugyeom half-naked in the kitchen though.Â
You werenât sure why. It was his house and if he wanted to walk around like he just went skinny dipping, then he had that right. Fortunately, he was wearing sweatpants, so you were spared from that unsightly picture.Â
Yugyeom heard your footsteps and turned. âOh, hey. Sleep good?â
âI only slept for a few hours,â you confessed, though you felt like you were quite well-rested. âBut yeah, I slept pretty good.â
Yugyeom chuckled. âI bet.â
You said nothing else. Yugyeom wasnât a total stranger, even before you started crashing at his house, but you werenât close by any means.Â
âI didnât think youâd be here,â you said after a pause, straddling a barstool.Â
âI mean, I do live here. Who do you think pays most of the bills?â
âJaehyun,â you chirped.Â
âOkay, thatâs fair. Who do you think pays the second most of the bills?â
âYou and Jungkook, but it wasnât always that way.â
Yugyeom threw in the towel, realizing Jaehyun had most definitely had this discussion with you at some point. Then, he started to laugh. Jaehyun was discussing their finances with you? There was no way in living hell.Â
Iâll be damned. Yugyeomed sighed in amusement. âYou know, youâre the first girl Iâve seen last this long with Jaehyun.â
âOh?â
âIâm not saying heâs a player, but I thought Iâd stop seeing you around here, like, two weeks ago. For a girl to survive a month with him, she has to really crank up his brain. And Jaehyun isnât easily impressed,â Yugyeom said.Â
It was obvious what he was implying and you knew exactly where this was heading. âIâm sure, but Jaehyun and I are just vibing.â
âI didnât say that you werenât.â
âYes, but you think that we arenât,â you replied, rubbing your arms. It was always cold the mornings after.Â
Yugyeom laughed. âNo, I donât. Not right now. I didn't even crack Jaehyun that soon. All Iâm saying is Jaehyun is a real gem and I think that you have a solid chance.â
âAnd you want me to take it?â
Yugyeom was strategically bouncing around, going from subtly planting ideas in your head to making them seem as if they were your own. âWhatever you do with that information is out of my hands and none of my business.â
Your lips parted to speak, but you were fortunately saved by the bell. Footsteps were heard from the hall and Jaehyun emerged from around the corner, voice deep from sleep, âWhat are you two talking about?â
Yugyeom lied without hesitation, âHow handsome you are, of course.â
Jaehyun didnât believe it for a second, but he stole the barstool beside you and gently nudged your elbow. âYou think Iâm handsome?â
âOh, the handsomest,â you deadpanned, but rested your head onto his shoulder.Â
Jaehyun let you. At least for a little while, but then he pulled you into his chest and mumbled groggily, âYou left me.â
âIâm sorry,â you whispered, your hands tangled into his dark hair. âIâll stay next time.â
âGood.â
Yugyeom was peering into the fridge, shaking his head, wondering if he was the only one that saw your fate.Â
The whole weekend was spent in Jaehyunâs arms, restless. If you werenât getting high on marijuana and chatting about whatever came to mind, you were dancing to one of his vinyls. If you werenât kissing each other breathless, you were fucking each other senseless.Â
It was two days of whimsical fun, ignoring the world and its insignificant little woes. In many ways, Jaehyun was like your oasis.
You were starting to hate Mondays. They were the days where you realized that nothing was forever, every time without fail. The days you had to finally face the world after a weekend of neglecting its existence.Â
Plus you didnât get a lot of Jaehyun during the other five days of the week, and though you understood your conflicting schedules, it was getting less and less easy to cope.Â
Finals week thankfully gave you less time to think about whatever the hell was blossoming between you and Jaehyun. You didnât want to think about it, because you were well aware that it wouldnât last. As perfectly as Jaehyun molded into you, there was no piece of him that fit the bigger picture.Â
But of course, you were pacing down your schoolâs courtyard with a bag slung over your shoulder when you noticed Markâs footsteps catching up to you. âWanna tell me why Johnny asked me if youâve been going out with somebody lately?â he asked.
You pretended to be oblivious, keeping your head straight and your steps quick. âWhy would he ask you that?â
âBecause Iâm your best friend and you tell me everything, or so I thought,â Mark hissed.
You groaned, weighing your options. You could keep this private love affair to yourself and let the guilt and pressure split you down the middle, or you could confide in your best friend and hope it took the edge off.Â
Pulling Mark behind a tree and scanning your surroundings for unwanted bystanders, you exhaled roughly and said, âDonât freak out, but I may or may not be sleeping with Jeong Jaehyun on the weekends.â
Mark was understandably dumbfounded by that information and screeched aloud, âWhat the fuck, dude?â
âI just said donât freak out!â
Mark shook his head, the total opposite of cool and collected. There was no way in hell he wasnât going to freak out. âAre you kidding? Johnny literally wants to kill him.â
âGod, I know,â you bemoaned, pressing a palm to your forehead. This whole situation combined with the stress of finals was giving you a splitting headache.Â
The shock was still evident on Markâs face, but he seemed to be cooling off. âShit, dude. This is crazy. Is the sex at least good?â
Your mind was fluttering with memories and it was hard to resist a smile. Getting laid right now would probably fix you. âJeong Jaehyun may be a scoundrel for whatever reason, but I can reassure you he is not lacking in the sex department.â
Or any department. It was strange that in the weeks the two of you had spent bonding and the like, you had yet to identify a single red flag of Jaehyunâs. Apparently, the weirdest thing about this boy was the amount of pictures he kept of his toes.Â
âOh my god,â Mark gasped.Â
âWhat?â
âThat night you went upstairs to pee and didnât come back,â Mark started, finally connecting the dots and displeased he hadnât seen the hints earlier. âYou were off screwing Jaehyun, werenât you?â
âActually, no. I was with him, yes, but we werenât hooking up then.â
Mark was baffled to very fucking his core. That had to be half a decade ago. This whole time, you were spending your spare time on Jaehyun and nobody knew?
Gripping Mark by the shoulders, you stared into his eyes and said sternly, âListen. You canât tell Johnny.â
Your best friend made a face of disapproval, but nodded his head. âAlright. Fine.â
âIâm serious. You have to promise.â
Mark groaned, âDude, Iâm not gonna tell Johnny that youâre fucking Jaehyun. No matter how bizarre and borderline batshit insane that is to say aloud. I promise your secret is safe with me.â
You released his shoulders and a shaky breath, relenting. âOkay.â
âBut that doesnât mean that I approve.â
âUnderstandable. I can live with that.â
âI donât see how,â Mark grumbled under his breath.Â
You frowned.Â
Months flew by. Christmas and News Year were a blur, two events you and Jaehyun spent at separate locations. Your parents were rarely home, but the winter holidays were a period of time that they always made sure to be around for. And Jaehyun paid his family a visit that week.Â
But then it was February, and the national holiday that was Jaehyunâs birthday came of nowhere.Â
âNo way you were born on Valentineâs day,â you remembered telling him a few months back after asking him about his birthday. Jaehyun had groaned, more than accustomed to how this conversation played out. This was far from his first rodeo.Â
Though it was rare that a girl made it to actually celebrate his birthday with him.Â
Idiotically, you found yourself scorching with nerves that afternoon, overwhelmingly anxious. Your whole body was tense and you paced around your room antsily for hours until it was time to get in your car and head out to Jaehyunâs house.Â
You had gotten him a gift and you werenât sure whether he would like it or not. Then again, you had spent weeks planning what you would give him based on every second of every little conversation youâd shared and you were half confident, half uncertain.Â
Jungkook opened the door to leave at the same moment you were preparing yourself to go inside, most likely heading to his girlfriendâs place after spending the morning celebrating his friendâs birthday, and held the door open for you. âUh, do you need a minute?â
âNo. Thank you,â you replied bashfully, catching the door and finally turning inside.Â
You took one more deep breath and paced upstairs while gripping the box in your hands so tightly it mightâve broken.Â
Jaehyun was sitting on his bed, his guitar in his hands instead of standing upright in the corner of his bedroom as typical, and glanced up when he heard your footsteps. âHi.â
âHi, birthday boy,â you greeted.Â
Jaehyun was smiling. You had already wished him a happy birthday at midnight on the dot which was a sweet gesture in itself.Â
âI, uh, got you something,â you said, mentally cursing yourself for sounding so nervous.Â
âI can see that.â Jaehyun set his guitar aside. There was curiosity in his stare, but he whispered, âYou didnât have to.â
âBut I wanted to. Youâre my⊠friend,â you told him awkwardly, handing over the gift before it made you say something stupid. âI didnât know what to get a guy who has literally everything he wants, but I tried.â
Jaehyun accepted the gift box graciously, peeling off the wrap, and said, âWhatever you got me is more than enough, baby.â
You sure hoped so. You didnât spend the past few weeks stressing over this very moment for nothing. You wanted to give him something thoughtful and memorable.Â
Anticipation made your heart sound like thunder. You fidgeted, twiddling your thumbs as Jaehyun slowly opened the box, retrieving a guitar strap alongside a couple of other items. The awe that tensed Jaehyunâs features was authentic and your heart was taut with giddiness when his lips tugged into a beaming smile.Â
A few words scribbled onto the guitar strap caught Jaehyunâs attention and he unhesitatingly pulled them closer to his face to get a better look. It was like a little note, but words only you would say. Play me till the end.Â
âWow,â Jaehyun whispered, feeling a thumping inside of his ribcage. âYou⊠I literally mentioned that I wanted one of these in passing.â
âWhen you talk, I listen.â
Jaehyunâs eyes met yours. âThank you.â
âYouâre welcome,â you murmured, straddling his lap and tossing your arms around his neck. âHappy birthday, baby.â
Jaehyun set his hands at your hips and kissed you restlessly, restraint taking the backseat as he absorbed every bit of your warmth and used it to fuel his fire. Your lips took him to the other side but your hands kept him grounded.Â
Things felt different now. Kissing Jaehyun had never not been spellbinding, but right now? The feeling in your chest was indescribably hot.Â
But it was dangerous and terrifying. It defied everything you told yourself to be true, and every principle you had laid out. This was deeper than building a relationship with the enemy. It was the intimacy that accompanied trusting another guy with your heart, and fighting the unshakable doubts.Â
You had built something of a friendship with Jaehyun. Friends that occasionally kissed and felt each other up and had hooked up more than once.Â
But what if you wanted more? What if you were really two star-crossed lovers that couldnât have each other? What if?
Jaehyun wondered if your feelings had gotten as tense as his were. Months ago, he was telling himself not to get too close to you because of who your brother was and your clear lack of romantic intentions, but no amount of walls he put up couldâve prevented his feelings from getting this deep.Â
You wouldnât tell him even if they had. What good would it have done for him to know that you loved him, but you couldnât have him?Â
When Jaehyun pulled back, he stared into your eyes, not at your lips. âLetâs go make hot cocoa,â he said after a pause.
You blinked in surprise, but Jaehyun was already tugging you along before you could even think.Â
The time in the kitchen together was a beautiful mess. You liked randomly bursting out into song and Jaehyun liked dancing, which ultimately turned into him tenderly cradling you there in his arms and mumbling into your ear, the hot cocoa all but forgotten.Â
You especially liked the toasty smell of a hot, creamy mug of hot chocolate. It was very Jaehyun-like. The winter seasons in general were reminiscent of his personality, not because he was cold (like some people assumed), but the sheer opposite.Â
Jaehyun was the warmest guy that you had ever met, in a way. Anyone who said otherwise didnât have the privilege of knowing him, but you? You liked to think that you had him all figured out.
Maybe there was a chance you did to an extent. Getting to know him over the course of these long months had definitely shifted your previous perspective. Jaehyun kept to himself because he was afraid of his vulnerability being used as a weapon, but when you broke those stubborn barriers, you saw that Jaehyun was just a guy that wanted a home.Â
He had one, metaphorically speaking, but no one to share it between. That was why you used to think he was shy, and why others thought he was cold. Jaehyun wanted to protect the home heâd built for himself and was reluctant to let others in, because he wanted it to be sturdy for the ones he would let stay. Â
A hopeless romantic to his core.Â
After making sure the kitchen was tidy, Jaehyun led you away to the infamous white couch that stretched along his living room wall. Your favorite spot in the whole house. Aside from his bedroom, of course.
Jaehyun, on the other hand, couldnât decide. Half of it was littered in a slew of memories of you and his whole bedroom smelled more like you than it did himself now. Picking a favorite would be an impossible choice.Â
There was a lull of silence as the two of you sipped from your mugs, but it wasnât an issue. The silence was always comfortable with Jaehyun, as well as literally everything else about him.Â
Though you didnât notice, the weird thing now was that Jaehyun was less secure. He didnât make it obvious, but he was remarkably nervous. Jaehyun tried to cloak his nerves when he said, âI kind of got you something, too.â
Your eyes went wide with shock. âYou got me something⊠for your birthday?â
âI mean, yeah. Itâs also Valentineâs day and youâre⊠important to me,â Jaehyun confessed softly, a tiny smile breaking out onto his lips.Â
âI am?â
âYou are,â he whispered, hurriedly reaching into his pockets for something. Imagine your surprise when he dropped a USB drive into the palm of your hand. âStick it into your computer when you get home.â
You nodded obediently, sitting it on the coffee table so that it wouldnât be crushed in your jeans, but your innate curiosity was never satisfied and you asked, âWhatâs on it?â
âA surprise,â was all Jaehhyun said.Â
You hummed. If Jaehyun didnât want to tell you, you knew it would be pointless to press.Â
But you would be lying if you said that it wasnât killing you.Â
Jaehyun knew that. He knew you were a curious individual, because he was drawn to your insatiable need to know. But he didnât want to be there to see your reaction. Just looking at you made his chest taut and rejectionâs brutal fangs still ripped him to shreds.Â
At least you couldnât tell by looking at him. Jaehyun had made sure of that. âTalk to me,â he said, squeezing your hand.Â
You smiled, because his hands were warm from the hot cocoa. âAbout what?â
âTell me more about yourself. Itâs been months, but I feel like thereâs still more to know about you. Talk to me about what you love. Your hopes and dreams.â
A little sigh left you. âWhere do I even begin?â That was what you said, but youâd already continued without affording yourself any time to pause. âI want to be an orthopedic surgeon. Iâm obsessed with anatomy and how our bodies function. Thatâs why Iâve been busting my ass for grad school.â
That much was obvious. Anybody that saw you on the party scene mightâve assumed you were merely another hopeless college student who only knew hooking up and getting shit-faced drunk, but Jaehyunâs first time seeing you was in the back of a library with a laptop and a heap of textbooks.Â
You were a hard-worker and no hangover stood a chance between you and your goals. But you were also just a normal girl who wanted to let loose sometimes. It was the perfect balance.Â
Jaehyun was a keen listener. âThat sounds tough.â
You fought a groan. âGod, yes. But itâs so worth it. Itâs my senior year and Iâve been waiting my whole life for med school.â
âYouâve wanted to be a surgeon for that long?â
âIâve always known who I wanted to be,â you exhaled contentedly. And for that you were endlessly grateful. âWhat about you?â
Jaehyun shook his head. âNo. Not always. First, I guess I had to leave home and do the whole âfinding yourselfâ thing.â
âThereâs nothing wrong with that. Itâs rare that people are born with an innate sense of who they are. We deserve to live life through trial and error. Thatâs freedom,â you said.
Jaehyun wholeheartedly agreed. Leaving home to explore his identity mightâve been the toughest decision he ever made, but also the best one. âWhat about love?â
âWhat about it?â
âDid you ever dream of that, too?â
You shouldâve figured he would go there. It was the essential question. The world of trauma beyond your control. âI used to,â you admitted, somber. âI just havenât had a ton of faith in it lately. Thatâs what happens when you grow up, I think. You realize lifeâs not like the movies.â
Funny how I call you a hopeless romantic when hopeless romantics are anything but hopeless. In spite of the pain and the betrayal, they refuse to accept that they might die alone one day. If anything, Iâm the hopeless one. Iâve fallen in love with the one boy I could never make mine.Â
Jaehyun frowned for a split second, but recovered quickly. âYeah, I know.â
You wondered who had hurt him, but chose not to ask. If he wanted to tell you, then he already wouldâve.Â
âYou didnât ask me,â Jaehyun started.Â
You glanced up at him.Â
âAbout my pain,â he continued shortly. âAbout her.â
âI didnât think you were ready.â
âDo you want to know?â
âI mean, yeah. Of course, I want to know who hurt you and how that made you who you are. I want to understand you. But only as much as you want me to,â you told him. The truth was that as curious as you were, you were afraid of overstepping. The same way that Jaehyun was terrified of oversharing.Â
He replied with total certainty, âI want you to know.â
You swallowed, feeling a lump form in your throat and unsure why. It was his deep, dark secrets being revealed, not yours. Plus you were positive there wasnât a single person in the county who didnât know your history with your one and only ex. âOkay. Take your time.â
Jaehyun heaved a shaky breath, preparing himself to share something that heâd never specifically told anyone. âBack home in Seoul, I dated a girl. I was naive and I thought she was the one. But she wasnât. She only wanted a guy handsome enough to impress her parents.â
You maintained eye contact to let Jaehyun know you were listening.Â
Jaehyun continued, âI guess we had different desires in life. She wanted a boy to show off and I wanted a girl who was my best friend at the foundation. We only talked about surface things. I couldnât be myself around her.â
You nodded. That sounded like the Jaehyun you knew.Â
âThen, I found out she was cheating on me,â Jaehyun added calmly, but he still recalled the trembles of anger that wrecked through his body. âAnd I left her then and there. I dipped. I mightâve been a naive idiot, but I knew my worth. She was my first and my last.â
You were shocked. That you shared the same pain - an unfaithful partner - and that Jaehyun hadnât had nearly as many other partners as you thought he wouldâve. âYouâve only dated once?â
âFor me, once was enough to figure out what I wanted in a relationship, and it wasnât a girl who I could barely trust or be myself with,â Jaehyun said. âI talked to other girls, but like I said before, nothing lasted, and Iâve obviously hooked up.â
Ironically, Iâve been hurt more by girls I never had than a girl that was supposed to belong to me.Â
âI harbored resentment for a long time, but what lasted longer was the leftover fear of trusting someone again. I only let people see what I want them to see. And because of that, Iâm a little lonely sometimes, but itâs okay.â
âDoes it get sad?â you asked quietly.Â
Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders. âMaybe, but itâs better than being heartbroken. Anyways, Iâve gotten better about inviting people into my life and having good judgment. Time makes it easier.â
You make it easier, was what he meant, but Jaehyun wasnât that bold yet. He might have been the one to approach you and attempt to initiate this private affair, but you sticking around was the last thing he expected. And that opened the door for the possibility that relationships didnât have expiration dates.Â
Reading between the lines, you were hoping that somewhere along them he wasnât hinting about a potential future with you. Jaehyunâs head was in the clouds, but you were grounded below the surface. Because you had already resigned yourself to the fact that you didnât have a future together.
But of course, that never stopped you from letting him undress you.Â
You were hyper aware of Jaehyunâs eyes staring into yours and it was beginning to unnerve you a little. âIs there hot cocoa on my face?â
Jaehyun shook his head with a cute laugh and finally leaned into you for a kiss, obviously done speaking and prepared to show. You let him take you down onto the couch, laid defenseless beneath him, on the edge of surrender.Â
You giggled into his lips, pleased at how silly it was that he tasted like the hot drink youâd shared. Your hands were wound through his hair and tugging him closer to you, wanting to be inseparable. You wouldnât be sated till his soul was tied to yours.Â
When it came to your body, you were more than inclined to let Jaehyun dominate you. But your heart was more than you had bargained for.Â
Jaehyun yanked at the waistband of your sweatpants and you swore you could sense your heart swelling with the exhilaration of getting laid by the only guy you wanted. You raised your hips, letting him take them and your underwear from underneath you.Â
You gasped loudly when his fingers ghosted along the insides of your thighs and unhurriedly traveled to your core, which was throbbing at the barest of touches. Jaehyun made you ache. Your body neglected every thought that didnât concern him when it longed for him to use it until you were sore.Â
Jaehyun sucked a slick pair of fingers into his mouth fleetingly before inserting them inside your pussy, making you verbally respond to the contact with a soft whimper, and stole the sound right from your lips with a hot wet kiss. You only tightened around his digits when he pressed his lips to you and it made his head spin quicker than ever.Â
You pulled back and panted, âSo, you wonât let me sleep on the couch, but youâll fuck me on it?â
âItâs seen worse days,â Jaehyun said, muting the sound of his own chuckle when he pressed his mouth to your neck.Â
You were torn between a laugh and a moan and the final sound was a breathy whimper of Jaehyunâs name. His mouth felt too good on your neck and you couldnât forget his hands between your parted legs. Gentleman in the streets, but a beast in the sheets.Â
Jaehyun was touching you impatiently. Your exhales were loud and jagged when he pulled back from your stained throat, and Jaehyun couldnât help but imagine the noises you would make when he was finally seated deeply inside of your pussy that was clenching around his long slender digits.Â
Deciding you were wet enough to take his cock, Jaehyun recouped his hand from between your thighs and asked, âYou ready for me, baby?â
âMore than,â you whispered, disgruntled with the emptiness but consoled by the knowledge that you would be full of him momentarily.Â
Jaehyun stepped out of his clothes without hesitation and got a hold of your naked legs, dragging you toward him and leaving no room for empty space. The two of you locked eyes when he finally started to penetrate you and he looked at you with need. But you glanced away. You couldnât stare into his soul as he captured yours. You couldnât do it.Â
You moaned when he pushed the head of his cock through your entrance and again when it went as deeply as it could enter. The stretch was so mad, but so good. You never knew how closely the pain could be interlocked to pleasure before Jaehyun took you for a spin on his big cock.
Jaehyun pulled out with a disgruntled groan, stealing the pleasure before you could really soak in the sensation.Â
You winced your eyes open and asked confusedly, âWhy did you do that?â
âI forgot a condom,â Jaehyun admitted bashfully, a timid little glint in his stare.Â
âGee, you sure chose a fantastic time to remember,â you deadpanned.Â
Jaehyun looked like he was a little ashamed and it amused the hell out of you. In the heat of your vice-like cunt, heâd lost track of all thoughts other than getting his cock inside.Â
You gawked when he stood and you caught an eyeful of his cute butt when he turned for the stairs. âWhere are you going?â
Like it was the most obvious thing in the whole world, Jaehyun replied nonchalantly, âTo get a condom.â
âSit your cute ass down,â you told him a bit too assertively. âYou can have me raw.âÂ
Jaehyun looked like his brain short-circuited. âFor real?â
You nodded. âYes, for real, you dummy. Just pull out.â
Jaehyun combed his fingers through his hair and groaned, âThatâs one hell of a responsibility, woman.â
You purred teasingly, âAre you scared you wonât be able to do it, or are you scared that youâll bust too fast?â
Jaehyunâs eyes fell to your gorgeous, spread legs, thickly swallowing the lump in his throat at the mouth-watering sight of you laid bare and exposed as you waited for him to take you. Fuck. Maybe both.
You snickered to yourself. Unbeknownst to Jaehyun, you were on birth control. And you had no intention of telling him right now. You wanted to gauge his restraint.Â
Jaehyun didnât reply, but he did return to the couch to slip between your folds again, and that was even better. Your pussy throbbed tirelessly, missing the way his thick cock stretched you out, and it drew deep grunts from the very back edge of Jaehyunâs throat.Â
You could feel every inch of him pressed deep inside your pulsing walls, flush against you. All of him. There was literally nothing to separate the two of you, exactly as you had wanted, only the heat and tightness of your cunt suffocating his cock relentlessly.Â
Jaehyun loved how you took him like a fucking champ. You sucked his cock back in like you needed it, like you needed him just as badly as he needed you. Your eyes winced closed and your lips parted as you sang his name in a shrill whimper.Â
You were rapt with ecstasy at his long, deep thrusts that took you to the moon. The pain and guilty thoughts disappeared into his slow yet steady rhythm, as if Jaehyun wanted to make sure you could feel every bit of himself that he had to offer.Â
Like he was making love to you.
âYouâre so beautiful. Iâm in love with your body,â Jaehyun whispered gently into your ear, hooked on you.
You moaned, oblivious to the fact that he really meant he was in love with you. When your naked bodies were bursting with heat and satisfaction, meeting each other in a wet collision, all else ceased to matter.Â
Jaehyun kissed you again. You swore he stole the pulse right from your chest in that very moment, your heart open to him. His hands were everywhere, tenderly cupping your breasts and thumbing your stiff nipples. This was pleasure. This was elysian. This was all yours.
You were breathless when the two of you separated and the minutes of your lips tangled together felt like mere seconds. God, Jaehyun made you insatiable. As you did to him. The two of you couldnât get enough, not of the sex and not of each other. It was lethally dangerous to want something as badly as you both wanted one another.Â
But you knew that when you laid eyes on him, when you indulged him. You knew that he was endless trouble and yet you crept into his arms anyway like a moth to the flame.Â
âGod, fuck,â you rasped, throat hoarse from how you were screeching his name. âYou make me feel so good.â
Jaehyun was so gentle and affectionate with you, tickling kisses down every bit of your soft skin his lips could access. It was times like these, when he completed you perfectly, where you welcomed the thought that you were made for each other. And only for each other.Â
Your mouth was dry, open with every halfway cry of Jaehyunâs name that you could manage. Your skin was damp and sticky with moisture, a thin layer of sweat keeping his skin adhering to yours. Of course, there was a similar glistening sheen dripping down Jaehyun, beading at his forehead and neck.Â
It made you lick your chapped lips. This man was abundantly mouth-watering. You wanted to give him anything he wanted and in this sex-induced haze, you knew that you would have.Â
Jaehyun noticed your eyes fixated on literally anywhere but his face and it made him chuckle smugly. He craned his head downwards to nibble beneath your ear and groan praises about how perfect and tight you were around his cock.Â
You tangled your hands in his hair again, desperate to ground yourself, before sitting them at his handsome broad shoulders. He had no business being this good at touching and fucking you. You were downright ashamed of the noises that left your lips but made no attempts to block the pleasure causing them to slip into the dense air.Â
âLike that. Fuck, Iâm gonna cum, Jay,â you whimpered, squeezing his shoulders.Â
The thought of you releasing around his bare cock made a shudder shoot through Jaehyun and he almost couldnât take it. You sensed his pace getting a little rougher, as if he was out to get you. Out to finish you. âLook at me,â he growled.Â
You did. You didnât have any other options. Not when it was him bleeding you dry, making your body dependent on his touches.
Looking into his dark eyes, everything stopped. The whole world was set on pause. You almost couldnât breathe. This was how it felt to fall with no anchor.
âI want you to cum on my cock,â Jaehyun said lowly, rutting into you at a dangerous pace.Â
You nodded. You were completely submissive to his desires.
There was a throbbing pressure in your gut that only got harsher with every wet smack of Jaehyunâs hips into yours. You wound your legs around his waist and pulled him into you, wanting to fuse together your limbs.Â
Your body felt as if it were on fire. The sweat cooling down your neck, the lack of oxygen in the air. The breaths Jaehyun snatched plain from your lips. It was more than enough to take you out.Â
Jaehyun watched as your orgasm finally seized you in its open arms, taking you by surprise. Your abs tensed viciously and you arched into Jaehyun with pleasure, sensing your eyes roll to the very back of your head and your toes curl into taut knots.Â
You were still sensitive from your climax but Jaehyunâs pace was absolutely unforgiving, rutting into you mercilessly through your release. The tightness of your pussy drew a thick groan out of his mouth, but he still wasnât done with you yet. And you were very keen on letting him use your body until he finished.Â
Jaehyun relented when you finally started to calm down after coming undone, kissing your cheeks and the corner of your lips as you went almost entirely slack. The only motion in you was the aggressive heave of your chest as you panted for breath.Â
You let Jaehyun thrust in and out of you, fighting the overstimulation for his sake. You were content to feel him brushing against your slick walls and hear those breathy grunts.Â
Smoothing your hands up and down his burly arms, you whispered, âJay, baby, keep going. I donât care how long it takes. Fuck me until youâre done.â
Jaehyun bit his lip to veil a pathetic moan at those words. After he took care of your needs, you were letting him ply you for his own pleasure. You were his vice, his ruining. Your fingers grazed across his back, gathering the droplets of moisture that were beading at the surface.Â
You could feel how hot his skin was, burning up in the heat of you.Â
Abruptly, Jaehyun pulled out of you and tore you upright, holding his desperate cock in the palm of his hand as he groaned, âGet on your knees.âÂ
You obeyed without hesitation, meek. Crawling onto the carpet floor, you took him in your palms and stroked his thick girthy cock gingerly, careful not to be too rough. He was victimless in your warm hands, needy and at your mercy, leaving you with total control.Â
Then it was game over for Jaehyun when you finally took him between your soft lips, gently easing him to the back of your throat. God, it was a struggle to fit his big cock completely into your mouth, but you somehow managed. You kept your cheeks hollowed, opening them for him to thrust.Â
âFuck,â Jaehyun moaned, head thrown back and eyes winced closed. You knew exactly what needed to be done to finish him off.Â
You liked playing with his cock, obviously, but you loved having it in your mouth way more. There was nothing like driving Jaehyun to the cusp of insanity, teasing him with your tongue and hot mouth, plucking those beautiful sounds out of his lips. He lost himself whenever he was inside your throat.Â
Jaehyun was in total bliss. Your mouth was no less impressive than your sheathlike cunt for all he knew, your lips wrapping around his stiff cock feverishly without a doubt in your mind that you could make him lose his own, and he almost didnât want to orgasm yet. He only knew you, and what you did to him. And he was too greedy to want it to end.Â
You had this boy all to yourself, wrapped tightly around your fingers with nowhere to hide. And you didnât have the slightest clue what to do with him, or yourself.Â
Aside from pleasuring each other in bed, or on the couch in this case. You were exceptionally gifted at getting him off.
Jaehyun could feel himself approaching the threshold of release and he did everything in his power to fight it off, to keep it at bay, but it was basically useless. He couldnât even help but fuck your mouth. You were working him too good and he was coming whether he liked it or not.Â
You were impressed that he had even lasted this long. Normally, when you let a guy hit it raw, they could barely resist emptying their load into you at the peak of climax.Â
Jaehyun ultimately couldnât control himself anymore and his jaw slacked with a deep, lethal groan as his hips came to a total standstill, painting the back of your throat with a streak of cum. Fuck, it was the sexiest noise youâd ever heard, and it aroused a throbbing between your legs.Â
You managed to gulp him down and it was the hottest thing Jaehyun had ever seen watching you swallow his cum like that. He pulled back, a misty gleam in his dark soulless eyes as he collapsed onto the couch, breathless. There was a layer of dew at your lashes and you dabbed at your eyes to wipe them clear.Â
Jaehyun looked like heâd just had the ground ripped from underneath him. âYou just blew my mind,â he said through jagged breaths.Â
You didnât miss a beat. âI just blew you.â
Jaehyun laughed, shaking the hair out of his face.Â
After both of you found your clothes and redressed yourselves, you decided to mention slyly, âBy the way, Iâm on birth control.â
Jaehyunâs mouth gaped open. âAre you serious? I was scared you might get pregnant.â
âThat didnât stop you from fucking me though, now did it?â you replied, crossing your arms.Â
âI wasnât that scared.â
You snickered. This idiot was a man you wanted to protect with your life, but you knew that you lacked the arsenal. âBesides, at least our baby wouldâve had the worldâs finest father.â
âAnd the worldâs finest mother. They wouldâve been beautiful,â Jaehyun flirted.Â
Your cheeks flushed with heat at the compliment and his obvious flirtatious behavior. âI meant that you wouldâve been a good dad, but sure. That works too.â
Jaehyunâs eyes flickered in shock. âWhy do you think that?â
You shrugged, not thinking too hard about it. You didnât need to when the answer was right at the tip of your tongue. âBecause love itself is your passion. Youâre selfless, patient. Protective. And you fight for what you love.â
Jaehyun said nothing. He was mulling over your confession, suspiciously quiet the whole time, but you were so tired that you hardly noticed. Your body was spent and you wanted to go upstairs and climb into his bed.Â
You stretched your arms over your head and stood to collect the cocoa-stained dishes in your arms. Jaehyun blinked at the action, and wouldâve stopped you to do it himself, but you were already halfway to the kitchen by the time he noticed.Â
Jaehyun walked over and pressed himself behind you, draping his arms around your hips and resting his chin on your shoulder. You giggled, enamored with how it felt to be skin-to-skin with him, and when you finished with the two mugs, he reached over your head to set them down in the cabinets.Â
You dragged Jaehyun upstairs by his arm to his own bedroom and slipped beneath his silk sheets, but invited him to drape himself above you and rest his head on your chest like you were his fluffy pillow and he was the thick, cozy blankets.Â
It was comfortable that way. You liked Jaehyunâs weight on you, so close to you, crushed beneath the pressure. His arms would tangle around you and leave you little room to escape. But you wouldnât want to leave.Â
That was how you woke up sometimes. You used to be afraid that youâd accidentally rouse him and disturb his beauty slumber, but Jaehyun always slept like a ton of bricks. This boy could probably sleep through a hurricane and wake up wondering what happened to his roof.Â
You sighed, whisking your fingers through his dark hair and staring at his face. You expected his eyes to be closed when you looked at him, but they were watching you. The ache in your chest was unignorable, unbearable.Â
Those long nights and shorter mornings with Jaehyun were all you had, but you wanted something of permanence and you were finally admitting it to yourself. You knew these moments couldnât last forever and didnât attempt to deny it, but you were hoping and wishing.Â
Smoothing your thumb down Jaehyunâs cheek, you felt a piece of your heart crumble. I canât have you and I donât even know why.Â
âJay?â you whispered.Â
âHm?â
You hesitated, brimming with reluctance. A few months ago, you wouldâve thought it wasnât your place to ask, but dammit Johnny was your brother and Jaehyun⊠meant something to you. This was officially your business. âWhy does my brother hate you?â you asked.Â
Jaehyun sat up abruptly, surprised. You matched the shock in his eyes, startled by his sudden movements. âYou donât know?â
You shook your head. âNo. Johnny never told me. I assumed he would when he was ready, but itâs killing me and I need to know.â Because I canât make sense of why we canât be together, but ironically, it makes it easier to justify being here with you right now.
Jaehyun ran his fingers through his hair, looking particularly perturbed. No wonder it was so easy for you to climb into bed with him. Night after night, weekend after weekend.Â
You were almost afraid to ask, âIs this going to change my perspective on you?â
âIt shouldnât if you believe me,â Jaehyun said, but the truth was that he wasnât too confident that youâd take his side.Â
You peered up at him expectantly, resting your hand on his back while he sat beside you. You were partly terrified to know the truth, watching him nervously, but god, you were exhausted of being kept in the dark.Â
Jaehyun exhaled deeply. He didnât want to lose you, not before he truly had you, but he knew what he was, and more importantly, he knew what he wasnât. âYou knew Mike, right?â
You bobbed your head, lips parting in surprise at the mention of Johnnyâs friend, but let him continue.Â
Jaehyun explained, âIâm sure you know, but he was addicted to drugs and it was fucking up his whole life. I tried to help him get clean before he fucked around and killed himself. And he was, I think. Thatâs what he said.â
You recognized this story. Johnny had said something similar, but it was about his own efforts. You somehow never realized that Jaehyun and Mike were friends. âBut?â
âBut then he wasnât clean anymore,â Jaehyun said in the tiniest voice ever. âLast year, at one of Xiaojunâs parties. It came out of nowhere. He overdosed on fent and coke.â
You knew that too. And you hated that Mike was gone so soon, taken by a poison he couldnât stop once heâd gotten his hands on it. It was heartbreaking.Â
âThen some people started to say that I did it, that I gave him the drugs. And I was at the party only a room away when he ODâd, but I swear to god it wasnât me. But they ran with it anyway.â
You frowned, pausing your handsâ consolations at his back in shock. It was starting to add up now, why Johnny hated Jaehyun. Because he thought he was complicit in the death of one of his closest friends.Â
That was when he started to become a tad too overprotective of you and it didnât take a genius to piece together why, but you never knew it was the reason he loathed Jaehyun and didnât want you anywhere near him. There were so many nights where you went to parties at Jaehyunâs house and Johnny would ask if youâd done any drugs.Â
Because of Jaehyun.Â
âGod, to this day, I want to punch the bastard that gave Mike that stuff. And if I knew who he was, Iâd kick his ass. So, I can understand why Johnny wants to kick mine. But it wasnât me,â Jaehyun said, sounding broken.Â
You blinked, taking it all in silently. You were at a crossroads.Â
Though he was hesitant, Jaehyun glanced into your eyes, unsure of what your silence meant. It was killing him. âPlease tell me you believe me.â
âI believe you,â you said, because you did. You had no reason to doubt Jaehyun. Plus you hadnât known him to press his luck with anything other than weed in the time that youâd known each other.Â
âThank god,â Jaehyun sighed in relief. âDoes this change things between us?â
You shook your head. âNo. I thought you were a good guy before and I still think youâre a good guy now. Nothing is new.â
âThank you.â
âFor what?â
Jaehyun rested his head on your shoulder and mumbled with obvious melancholy, âTrusting me.â
You laced your fingers through Jaehyunâs, squeezing his hand. âIâll always trust you.â
That warmed Jaehyunâs heart and he sat there wondering what he had done to deserve you. It felt like there was a burden lifted from his shoulders.Â
The day went on, bleeding into night. You expected Jaehyun to want to go somewhere to celebrate his birthday, but he reassured you that he was more than content to spend it indoors with you.
Still, it made you a little sad and you tried your best to cloak your gloomy emotions with your affections. You didnât want Jaehyun to know, but you were thinking about how nice it wouldâve been to do something as simple as go out together.Â
Reasonably, you were shocked when Jaehyun said, âI want to try out this Japanese restaurant with you next weekend.â
You blinked. âYou want to go out⊠with me?â you asked, making sure you werenât mistaken.Â
Jaehyun nodded, enthusiastic. âIs that a bad idea?â
âWhat if we get caught together?â
Jaehyun shrugged. âThatâs a risk Iâm willing to take.â
âOf course it is. You donât have anything to lose,â you said, but your tone was humorous.
Jaehyun replied without hesitation, âI have you to lose.â
You were sold. Those five words were all you needed to hear.
There was a ginormous beaming smile on your face when you both finally decided to call it a night and you fell asleep with a certain soreness in your cheeks.Â
Jaehyun stayed up a little later than you had. Not on purpose, but it was impossible to rest his eyes when he was distracted by your sleep patterns. Your soft snores and the way your hand curled over his stomach.Â
It was the sheer opposite of annoying. It was intoxicating.Â
He was the one clinging to you when you roused from bed after sunrise. You felt bad for slipping away like a thief in the night, but in your defense, it was daytime and you had to be in your professorâs classroom for attendance.Â
After washing up and tossing on a spare outfit you had in Jaehyunâs room for events like these, you scribbled an apologetic note that he would surely find on his nightstand and quietly crept downstairs with a sadness weighing on you now that you had to leave.Â
And surely enough, Jaehyun woke up to the note and smiled like a dumbass when he rubbed his eyes and read it to himself.Â
Good morning, sleeping handsome. Iâm gonna miss you today, but I have an early afternoon class that I have to pass to graduate. You sleep like deadweight, by the way. I had to fight out of your arms and you didnât notice. See you next weekend. Call me.Â
Jaehyun crawled out of bed and headed to the bathroom for a shower, but he could tell that youâd obviously already taken one with a single simple glance, and he was wishing you had invited him to join you.Â
Now he sounded like a guy. Which was fair, because he was one.Â
You raced home after class ended. Though you had more than enough exams that it wouldâve been a good idea to study for, the main thing on your mind was plugging in the flash drive Jaehyun had gifted you, because you still were dying to know what was on it.Â
It was safe to say that a song was the last thing you were expecting.Â
You froze on your bed, unsure of how to feel. Everything hit you hard. The wistful yet romantic lyrics, the softness of his voice. Jaehyun was pouring his heart out to you, opening up to you about his feelings the best way he knew how.Â
There was a ripple of emotions bursting through you. The lyrics were a little too sentimental for you to attempt to convince yourself that this wasnât Jaehyunâs idea of a love confession. Maybe youâd known all along, but you didnât want to accept it, because you knew that it wasnât written in the stars.Â
Now you had no choice.Â
You sat there and cried. God, it was a beautiful song and that only made the tears drip even harder. You were bemused and overwhelmed. Bemused that he had obviously taken a lot of time out of his busy life to sit there and record a song for you, and overwhelmed by everything else.Â
Jaehyun loves me. Jaehyun really loves me, you thought, admitting it to yourself. And it scared you to death, because you loved him too.Â
Then the day came for you to hang out at the restaurant. It was the first time you and Jaehyun actually spent time together outside of his house. The meetup on the bridge and the incident at Jenoâs house didnât count. Those were merely instances youâd happened to cross paths.Â
When Jaehyun came up behind you in a back hug while you were waiting for him (you were embarrassingly early), you didnât jolt or startle, relaxing into his touch without sparing him a glance first. Nobody else would be wearing his sexy ass cologne.Â
You didnât mention the song or acknowledge the obvious romantic tension between you at all, much to Jaehyunâs disappointment. But he knew you definitely took the flash drive back home. It wasnât on the coffee table when he went downstairs, meaning you had grabbed it on your way out.  Â
He couldnât help but wonder if you had listened to it and vividly pictured your reaction, but Jaehyun knew it would be pointless obsessing over the thought if he wasnât going to ask.Â
The truth was that you were conflicted. Your heart wanted Jaehyun, but you were rational and knew it was ridiculous. There was no point in setting yourselves up for more useless heartbreak.Â
But you had fun with Jaehyun in that restaurant. You didnât want to admit it, but it was the closest thing to a date you would ever have with him. You talked and held hands underneath the table like the pair of lovers you hoped you were in another life.Â
Your insatiable lovesick heart was aching for more. And the worst part was that Jaehyun was oftentimes right there in your arms but had never felt further.Â
It wasnât until you were unfortunately back home and walking through the front door that you read aloud the text youâd received from Johnny. We need to talk. Iâll be home in an hour. âWell, that cannot be good,â you mumbled to yourself.Â
âIt isnât.â
You jolted in alarm. You didnât know Johnny was home, though it had most definitely been well over an hour. Jaehyun was too interesting for you to even think about touching your phone once.Â
Given the familiar less than content glare on Johnnyâs face, you fought a groan, wondering what you couldâve possibly done now when youâd been on your best behavior lately. You lilted in the usual tone you used when you wanted to get out of trouble, âHi, my handsome big brother that I love dearly.â
Johnny, obviously not in the mood, snapped, âTaeyong saw you with Jaehyun today. You wanna explain that to me?â
That was the last thing you expected him to say and the shock was plain on your face. âWhat?â
Johnny shook his head, unsurprised that you were acting clueless, and though he was furious he tried not to raise his voice. âDonât play dumb. Are you dating him - fucking him?â
âIâm not dating him, weâre justâŠ,â you trailed in frustration, realizing that youâd been caught. âShit, yeah. Iâve fucked him and weâre hanging out.â
Johnny blew out a long, exasperated sigh. âI canât believe this. God, my own sister.â
Tears threatened. At this point, you were desperate. Your whole world was crashing down without warning. You wished you wouldâve at least seen the text and braced yourself. âJohnny, please. If you gave him a chance, I think you two would really like each other!â
âI could never like him,â Johnny replied viciously, face tensing in fury as if the suggestion was an affront to his entire existence. Â
You approached Johnny, somehow mustering the courage to come near him. âPlease listen to me, alright? He didnât do it, Johnny. It wasnât him!â
Johnny gawked. He couldnât believe you were defending Jaehyun and took a gigantic step back, wanting to be nowhere near you. He hissed, âOf course thatâs what the bastard told you. Did he give you proof?â
Frantic, you shook your head, and it came to you that you only had trust to back Jaehyunâs claims. âNo, but...â
Johnny grabbed his keys and interjected, âStop. Just stop. I donât even want to see your face right now.â
Your lips were agape when Johnny stormed towards the garage, full of purebred rage and disappointment.Â
After a few minutes, the shock started to dull away and you temporarily regained the ability to function, racing upstairs to your bedroom to be inert. You hated the brutal sting splitting you in half. While your thoughts were on pause and you were consumed by emptiness, it was the one thing keeping you from dissociating.Â
Sitting there on your bed, knees pressed to your chest and your arms curled around yourself, you couldnât even cry. It would come, but right now you were trying to process the pain. And in the meantime, you realized what needed to be done.
Two long days later, you were meeting Jaehyun at the bridge one final time. It took nearly forty-eight hours of gathering the courage to pick up your phone, but you had to let him know it was over. That this was goodbye.Â
You ran your fingers across the wooden overlook, taking in nature, but even the peaceful noise of your surroundings failed to soothe your heartbreak.Â
The sound of tentative footsteps barely drew you from your own head, and you didnât want to face your visitor. You knew it was Jaehyun. For more reasons than one.Â
Though you couldnât see, Jaehyun had his hands in his pockets. âAm I late?â
âNo, youâre perfectly on time. I got here early. I needed time to think,â you replied with a fleeting glance at your watch.Â
Jaehyun watched you with unease, a perturbed thud in his heart making it challenging to breathe. This was bad, he knew, and for whatever reason, that fear that he was doomed was unshakable. âWhat happened?â
âJohnny knows,â you began, finally whipping around. It was the least you could do, knowing you had to break his heart. âTaeyong saw us together. He snitched. Now Johnny wants nothing to do with me.â
Jaehyunâs heart sank. No wonder you hadnât texted or called him in two days. Aside from inviting him here, that is. âWhat now?â
âI canât see you anymore. Johnny already hates me now. If I keep seeing you behind his back, I wonât have a brother anymore. I canât live with that guilt. Thatâs why Iâve been running from it for months,â you said quietly.Â
Jaehyun stiffened, like a boulder. âWeâre giving up? Thatâs insane! Donât let him stop us from being together.â
You recoiled, surprised. âAre you asking me to choose you over my brother?â
âNo, of course not,â Jaehyun sighed, combing his hands through his hands as he searched for the right words.Â
You desperately wanted to reach out to him, to touch him, but you couldnât bring yourself to move. âYou should be with someone who can treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Someone you can hold and kiss outside without any worries. I canât give you that, Jaehyun.â
Jaehyun shook his head. âNone of that matters to me. I want to be with you. I donât care what compromises I have to make.â
âWell, I do,â you whispered sullenly, reminding yourself of everything you had to lose. âIt was never going to work. You had to know this. We arenât Shakespeare characters. Hell, even they donât get to be happy!â
Jaehyunâs chest was taut with pain. It was usually him that had to tell people the brutal reality of unfortunate situations. And this was how it felt to be on the other side?
Fighting the oncoming threat of tears, you continued, âIâve enjoyed these past months with you and weâve made special, unforgettable memories together. But enough is enough. We were gonna have to face the truth one day, and that day is today. It was inevitable. I hope that somehow we can still be friends.â
Jaehyun spat, âI donât want to be just friends. I canât be just friends with you. Why donât you understand that?â
Oh, you did. You really, really did. This was hurting you in ways unimaginable and nothing couldâve prepared you for the moment where you had to set Jaehyun free.Â
Not even knowing this day would come.Â
âI love you,â Jaehyun confessed for the first time, taking some steps closer to you. The gleam in his eyes killed you.Â
Those words were like ice in your veins. Your heart stopped beating. For half a minute, the whole world ceased. You shook your head, sensing a vicious pain returning to you. âYou canât love me.â
Jaehyun switched on a dime and hissed, âYou canât tell me how to feel.â
Denial still crept through your blood. Apparently, it was one of your many talents. Jaehyunâs too. âYouâre in love with the idea of me. You just want somebody to love again and maybe I made you realize that, but you donât love me.â
Jaehyun was trembling. You were trying to diagnose him and he wouldnât stand for it. âSaying that doesnât make it true.â
You were defiant. You needed it to be true. There had to be some way to get him to let you go and move on. You didnât want to resort to cruel methods, but you would if you were rendered optionless.Â
Jaehyun continued, âYou did make me realize that I wanted love again. But I also realized that I could have it all in you.â
Finally pushed past your limits, you shattered and screamed, âGoddammit, Jaehyun - you canât have me!â
You turned away, hoping he would let you leave. You didnât want things to end on even worse terms than they already were.Â
But you shouldâve known Jaehyun would be relentless. He was a fighter. You were what he wanted, what he loved, and heâd damned if he surrendered without a fight. âSo, thatâs it? Youâre just going to walk away?âÂ
You rooted in place and exhaled loudly, bristling with frustration. âThe fuck do you want me to do, Jay? Itâs out of my hands.â
âTalk to Johnny - you know that I didnât do anything!â
âNo, I donât know anything,â you grumbled, crossing your arms tightly.Â
That stunned Jaehyun. You didnât trust him anymore?
Jaehyun laughed, but it was humorless. Needless to say, he was pissed. âWow. You gave up the fight before it started, before it was over. You never gave us a chance.â
You walked away. You didnât have the strength.Â
Jaehyun kept prodding. You were unbelievable and he couldnât stand you right now. âI bet this isnât just about Johnny. I bet him being your brother is just a cop-out so that you donât have to trust another guy again.â
Now that stung deep. He was hitting you where it hurt, making sure you understood how badly you had wounded him, and you realized there was a chance he was right and you hadnât even considered it. You whipped around, snapping, âFuck you. I wish I never met you.â
Jaehyun watched you disappear behind the thick branches, simmering where he stood. God, he resented the fuck out of you right now. You were accepting defeat, throwing in the towel, and he hated you because of it.Â
The seemingly endless months of ignorant bliss were washed down the drain all because you didnât want to be a little more optimistic. You couldâve had it all together, had you not resigned yourself to being unhappy. You were so hell-bent on being realistic that you closed the door on other possibilities.Â
Almost the second you burst through the front door, your tears fell after what felt like an eternity of fighting them back. Johnny and your parents turned to face you with alarm when you paraded through the living room, but you ignored your motherâs questions and made a beeline for your bed.Â
Johnny didnât ask. He already knew, and he was only somewhat satisfied that you had done what shouldâve never needed to happen in the first place.Â
The days of the week started to bleed into each other. You didnât talk to Jaehyun for obvious reasons. Johnny, the man whose shoulders you thought would always be there for you to lean on, was ironically giving you the cold shoulder. And Mark wouldnât understand even if you explained, though you knew he was available.Â
Never had you felt so alone. You had no one to escape to. No one who could comprehend or justify the moral dilemma you forced yourself into. Iâve truly outdone myself. Iâve betrayed my brother, baffled my best friend, and lost my lover back to back. That has to be a world record.Â
Seven days marked the longest time you had gone without speaking with Jaehyun since the onset of this private love affair. He didnât call or text you either, which was understandable. Plus it was what you wanted, or at least that was what you used to think.Â
You werenât sure anymore. Cutting him off was the whole purpose of meeting him, but why did it make you feel so isolated?
It wasnât that long ago that you did it because you thought it was the right choice, or maybe because you thought it would make things better. But it hadnât. Now that you had effectively shielded yourself from the universe, you were less free and more lonely.Â
And time continued to fly by, days of leaving the house only to attend class and coming back to your room only to collapse into sorrow.Â
Johnny felt bad. At night, there were a couple of times where he hovered near your door and heard you sobbing, but he was too petty and spiteful to knock or check up on you. You had stung him too.Â
The difference was that when Mike died, you did everything in your power to console Johnny. You gave him the space he needed, of course, but you opened the door for him to talk to you if he wanted and lent him a shoulder to cry on. You bought all his favorite snacks and encouraged him to go outside, even if it was just the backyard.Â
Now, you were suffering your own loss, one of many but in a different manner. It wasnât like you were a bereaved wife, but the agony wasnât any less excruciating.Â
Mark came over whenever he had the extra time to spare every week to check up on you, reminding you that you werenât as alone as you thought you were, but you still didnât want to confide in him about your emotions. You were afraid he would unintentionally make you feel more stupid.Â
You were a little verklempt. Maybe more than. They said time was the healer of all wounds, but with every week spent without Jaehyunâs familiar musk in the air and dreamy voice in your ear, you felt less and less whole.  Â
What could you have done to keep him close to you, even if it was just for a little while longer? Maybe if you hadnât ended on such cold, distant terms, moving on would be easier and you would be happier. You couldâve contentedly looked back on the memories of your last time together knowing you had done everything in your control to make it better.Â
But you were worried that that was false. You were worried that Jaehyun was right and this ending was premature.Â
It doesnât matter, premature or not. It was going to end either way. Thereâs no point in delaying the inevitable, you reassured yourself in what you once believed was aggressively honest consolation, but you were starting to question how you could be so certain.Â
You told yourself that with the burden of your immoral secrets weighing you down, you and Jaehyun couldâve never been a pair. You knew it wouldnât last forever. Youâd always known. You didnât expect things to make it this far, but dammit you didnât expect to have your fun cut short so soon either.Â
It wasnât fair.Â
Sometimes you dreamt of what it would be like to hold Jaehyun in your arms without worries, without stolen touches and kisses when nobody was paying attention.Â
You sat in the nook at your window, curled up into yourself, thinking only about Jaehyun. If it wasnât for the stupid secret that unraveled far too damn quickly, maybe none of this wouldâve ever happened. Maybe I would have you, with nothing to lose. Nothing to fear.
Fuck, you shouldâve been happy. Given how unlucky in love you were, you doubted that you were intended to ever be happy. You hadnât smiled in an eternity. But Jaehyun made you feel your peak of happiness, as if you had never been more euphoric with anybody else.Â
More than once, you had been in love, but never like how you were in love with Jaehyun. Why did things have to become so complicated for the both of us? Why did reality hit like a fucking freight train?
If only you never fell for Jaehyun, never even gave him the time of day, then you wouldnât be hurting. Your heart was being tortured.Â
It took another day of stumbling into the kitchen with dark eye bags after yet another sleepless night of sobbing into your pillows, and Johnny ignoring your existence altogether while he poured himself a mug of coffee, but it finally occurred to you that you couldnât relive this agonizing cycle over and over.Â
You were sick of the pain and the dread. The insufferably cold distance when his bedroom was right down the hall from yours. You were sick of sniveling until you had no more tears left to weep, until you felt totally empty.Â
Something had to give.Â
To your surprise, and luck, Mark called you a few minutes after you strolled back into your room wordlessly, devising a plan you loathed yourself for not thinking of earlier. âHey, bestie. Talk to me,â he said. âHow you feeling?â
âLike judgment day came early for me, I guess,â you mumbled into the phone, collapsing onto your sheets.Â
Mark sighed roughly. âDamn. I was hoping you would feel a little better this week. Johnny said youâre the worldâs biggest hermit and itâs kinda depressing.â
That shocked you to your core, but you tried to play it off. âOh, Johnnyâs been talking about me?â
âWell, yeah. Iâve obviously been checking up on the both of you on the regular, and neither of you really wanna open up to me, but Johnny has less of an issue talking about you. Man, he still cares. Heâs your brother.â
Your heart was sore. You wished he would tell you that himself. In your own home, to your own brother, you felt like a stranger.Â
Tears burned your eyes, but you fought them and lilted playfully, âOh, my beloved bestieâŠâ
Mark knew that tone and interjected, âFuck.â
You fought a tiny laugh and continued, âWould you mind doing your best friend a teeny tiny little favor?â
The suggestion alone sounded like bad news and Mark was questioning what he was about to get himself into, because no matter what came out his mouth first, you were his best friend. Of course, he was going to tell you âyes.â
Mark huffed, âJesus. Ease up on the mischief. Johnny still wants to beat my ass too, you know? He asked me if I knew you were boning Jaehyun and of course I couldnât lie. Iâm a man of God.â
Because you didnât feel like disputing that statement, you ignored his speech entirely and asked knowingly, âYour dadâs a cop, isnât he?â
âI donât like where this is going.â
Your voice was maybe a little hopeful. âIs there a way that he can look into the investigation of Mikeâs overdose?â
Mark knew exactly why you were asking and even he was ashamed he hadnât thought of the little plan. There was a brief pause before he said, âIâll call you back.â And then he hung up.Â
You were a little tense sitting there on your bed waiting around for a phone call. Not because you were worried about Mark not doing it, which would be ridiculous because you both wanted what was best for Johnny. It was because you were scared of not having a solution.
Deciding it would be useless to sit around antsily, you took a well-deserved nap after a restless twenty-four hours of no sleep. It would only do you good. Even if Mark didnât have the answers you wanted, your grades would thank you.
Sleep came easy. Though they werenât Jaehyunâs, it was nice and peaceful bunched beneath your blankets. You flipped your pillow over to the side that wasnât stained with tears and let darkness take the wheel.Â
Johnny peeked inside your room after an hour or two, wanting to talk to you, but when he saw you comfortably snoozing in your bed and obliviously clinging onto a spare pillow for dear life, he backed away and shut the door. He knew you needed the rest.Â
You jolted awake when your phone started to ring vehemently beside your head, cursing yourself for not turning on Do Not Disturb before immediately remembering why you didnât, and quickly lifting the phone to answer gruffly, âHello?â
âGood news,â Mark started, sounding suspiciously chipper. âI had my dad pull some strings. And youâre gonna wanna hear this.â
Sitting up, you exclaimed in an impatient whisper, âWell?â
âJeong Jaehyun is not a suspect, for one. There were witnesses that confirmed him giving Mike his fix was impossible. But for two, the case reopened a few months ago and theyâre literally about to bust the guy that did it. Theyâre waiting on a warrant. Youâve got great timing,â Mark said.Â
You rubbed your eyes in disbelief. âWhat the hell?â
âIsnât this good news?â
âYeah, it is,â you whispered, too shocked to know how to feel. You didnât think the stupid plan would really work. âThank you, Mark.â
Mark was quick to reassure you, âYou donât need to thank me. Youâre my best friend and Johnny is like my brother-in-law in some weird way. See, that sounds weird. Anyways, when do you plan on telling him?â
You laughed at his rambling, but hummed when you thought about his question. âUh, would today be a bad time?â
âThe sooner the better.â
You sighed in relief. Then, you donned the loveliest tone you could muster, and asked sweetly, âWill you come with me please? I think your presence will really help.â
Mark retorted, âShould I bring the entire police force too?â
You rolled your eyes and begged, âCome on, Mark. Youâre my bestie and I need you. Heâs more mad with me than he is with you and plus you have the benefit of a credible father.â
âI was already on my way,â Mark chirped, jiggling his keys loudly before hanging up.Â
You giggled. What would you do without that boy? He was your ride or die.Â
Fifteen minutes later, Mark was pulling into your driveway and hopping out of the car. You let him in, locking the door behind your best friend and embracing him in the biggest hug of his life. You needed the comfort to wean off your nerves.Â
The last thing you expected was for Johnny to come trudging down the stairs within the very next minute.Â
You released Mark, turning to your brother, and you and Johnny said in unison, âHey, I really need to talk to you.â
Johnny blinked in surprise. It almost seemed like he was mirroring you. Mark snickered to himself, mumbling something about you two obviously being related, but Johnny was chill and said, âYou can go first.â
You heaved a breath. It was a shock that Johnny deliberately chose to speak to you for the first time, presumably without the intervening influence of your parentsâ rebuttal on your behalf. âI donât know how to say this, but first I wanted to tell you that Iâm really sorry for sneaking around with Jaehyun behind your back. It was a really shitty thing for me to do.â
Johnny nodded along, listening.Â
âBut I fell in love with him,â you said without hesitation. âAnd Iâm not going to ask you to accept us or anything. Thatâs your choice. But I thought there was something you should know thatâs bigger than Jaehyun and I.â
Johnny looked tense, but he encouraged you to go on. âOkay.â
It felt like the whole world was watching you with Johnnyâs eyes carefully set on your face, but you didnât let it stop you from continuing, âIt really wasnât him that gave Mike his supply, and yes we have proof. Markâs dad not only confirmed it wasnât him, but theyâre working on getting him into custody.â
Mark nodded, standing right behind you. Like he was vouching for you the same way youâd vouched for him all these years. âItâs true, Johnny. It wasnât Jaehyun. It was some random shady dealer that preys on addicts at these parties. He has a track record.â
Johnnyâs eyes flickered. âIt really wasnât Jaehyun?â
Mark shook his head. âHeâs innocent, dude.â
Johnny fell silent for a long time. You could see him stiffening, penitent. âI donât know what to say,â he whispered. âI feel like shit now.â
You snorted. âDonât do that to yourself. Please. Iâve felt like shit enough these past few weeks for the both of us.â
âAbout that,â Johnny began, getting whiplash. The look on his face was gentle, remorseful, and he hated himself for being anything else to his sister. To the last person that deserved his misplaced frustration. âI wanted to tell you that Iâm sorry for freezing you out.â
âJohnnyâŠ,â you trailed.Â
Johnny shook his head. He needed you to let him say this. âI know youâve had a rough few weeks, and though I havenât exactly been pleased with you, youâre still my sister. The least I couldâve done was ask you âhow are you doing?â but I couldnât even be bothered.â
You sighed loudly. That was true. And youâd be lying if you said it didnât rub salt in the wounds.Â
âI havenât done a good job at showing it, but I care for you. Youâre my only sibling and letâs be honest, I donât think Iâll be getting another one,â Johnny said lightheartedly.Â
You snickered. Damn right. You knew your parents would vehemently agree if they were here. They couldnât be happier that all of their kids were adults. Well, maybe if you moved out.Â
Johnny breathed in some air. A lot of mistakes had obviously been made on both parts and he was ready to put it all behind him. âI guess what Iâm trying to say is that I forgot to do what was more important. Be your brother. And Iâll apologize for the rest of my life until you forgive me.â
âNo need. I forgive you right now,â you whispered, simpering.Â
Johnny stood there like a dumbass, hesitant. He didnât feel like he deserved your forgiveness and would be spending the next weeks repairing his relationship with you, doing whatever it took.Â
You took the lead, starting reluctantly, âListen. I know Mikeâs passing has been hard on you, Johnny. Thatâs why you want to protect me and everything else you love in your life, but Iâm an adult. You need to let me take care of me.âÂ
A cloud of melancholy hung over Johnny and it wouldnât leave. The grief was still fresh, as if Mike had died yesterday.Â
You stepped forward, placing a hand on Johnnyâs shoulder. âAnd youâre my big brother. Iâll obviously still give you a call when Iâm going through a rough time. But you have to respect that Iâm my own person.â
Johnny nodded. âYeah, I know. Iâm sorry about all that too. Iâll be better.â
âI will too,â you said, because the truth was that it was time the two of you started making efforts.Â
Johnny grabbed you in his arms and pulled you into a gigantic bear hug. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close, and breathed easier in relief as weeks worth of wounds vanished.Â
Wincing your eyes closed, you let yourself be content in your brotherâs loving embrace for the first time in a while. You needed this.Â
You could barely feel yourself breathe when Johnny started to hug you so tightly you thought he might accidentally squeeze the life out of you. âAlright, chill, Johnny. I think I might die,â you wheezed.
Johnny released you with a chuckle. You gasped for breath, shaking your head. Though the bone-crushing hug was appreciated nonetheless.Â
Mark was content to be in the background and cheered in awe, âIâm so proud of you guys. You overcame your differences and reunited like real siblings. I knew it would happen eventually, but dude, this is refreshing to see.â
You nodded in agreement. One less broken relationship. But you had another one to salvage before it was too late.Â
Then, Mark remembered Johnny was none too thrilled that he was complicit in you getting away with your sneaky little secret and asked, âYo, Johnny, are we good?â
âNo.â
Mark gawked.Â
âIâm kidding,â Johnny said with a teasing lilt. âWeâre good, man.â
Mark exhaled in relief. âThank god.â
You smiled to yourself. You were happy, but you couldnât shake the feeling that something was missing from your life.Â
Johnny clamped a hand onto your shoulder and said, âGo get him.â
You gasped, but you didnât question how he knew. He just did. It was a sibling thing. âYou mean it?â
âYes. You said it yourself. You love him, and I have no reason to come between that anymore. You deserve to be happy after dating asshole after asshole,â Johnny told you (sort of) kindly.Â
You snickered, and grabbed your keys from your pockets. âPray for me. Heâs not gonna be thrilled.â
Johnny shook his head, disagreeing. âYeah, he will. Tell him that Iâm very sorry, but the threat to kick his ass still stands if he fucks with you.â
âIâll be sure to let him know,â you deadpanned, heading for the door.Â
The drive to Jaehyunâs house was inexplicably anxious. You could still think, but every thought went by at the speed of a thousand miles per second. And it didnât help that you were overthinking the entire situation, dreading the endless amount of âwhat ifs.â
For fuckâs sake, you didnât even know if he would be there. You were showing up unannounced, uninvited. What if he had already found another woman to keep him company in your forgettable absence?
Then, you were at his front doorstep. And you had no time to vividly imagine every possible scenario, because Jungkook answered your knocks and you could only barely see inside.Â
You politely greeted him in a small voice and asked, âCan I come inside?â
Jungkookâs eyes narrowed and he didnât waste any time in snapping, âWhy should I let you in after you broke my friendâs heart?â
âBecause Iâm sorry and I want to set things right with him,â you said, matching his lack of hesitation.Â
Yugyeom hurried over and took the lead, widening the door for you to enter and whining dramatically, âOh, god. Please come in. Fix him. Do your womanly magic and bring him back to life. Iâm sick of his brooding ass.â
You wanted to laugh, but you hated the thought of causing Jaehyun all this suffering. If it was anything like the kind youâd been through lately, you knew he was in a tough spot.Â
Thanking Yugyeom, you made a beeline for the stairs, rushing up them like Jaehyun would somehow know it was you approaching them and slip away before you could get the chance to apologize.Â
You knocked on Jaehyunâs door, but you guessed he really wasnât expecting you to come over, because he shouted exasperatedly, âJesus, Yugyeom. Fuck off.â
âItâs not Yugyeom,â you called back. âItâs me.â
All you could hear was silence. Then there was a shuffle, and a few moments later the door clicked unlocked and Jaehyun was standing before you in all his glory. âWhat are you doing here?â
âI walked to talk,â you replied timidly, struggling to maintain eye contact.Â
Irritated, Jaehyun huffed, âWe already had a conversation.â Though the truth was that he was glad you were here, standing in front of him again. He was borderline miserable without you in his life.Â
The reminder of your final exchange with Jaehyun made you wince in shame. âI know, but I wanted to apologize. Wonât you at least hear me out?â
Jaehyun turned to return to his bed, reminding sharply, âYouâre the one that walked away. I was willing to at least try to make us work, but you didnât even want to do that.â
âBecause I thought it would be useless,â you admitted, giving chase and shutting the door behind yourself. âBut I donât anymore. You were right. I shouldâve fought for us and I regret not doing it earlier.â
Jaehyun mightâve acted like he wasnât listening, being totally dismissive, but he definitely noticed your specific use of language. âYou said âearlier.â What do you mean?â
You had a beaming smile on your face as you admitted, âI mean, I talked to Johnny about us. I managed to get him to listen to me and proved your innocence. Thank god Markâs father is a cop.â
Jaehyun softened. âYou did all that? Why?â
âBecause youâre worth fighting for,â you whispered tenderly, looking at Jaehyun like he was your entire universe.Â
Jaehyun was so close to accepting that he would never have anyone look at him that way again. After a heartbreak, the feeling of being unlovable always loomed over his head and you were no different. But dammit if he wasnât tired of the doubts.Â
Tentatively, you came towards Jaehyun completely, sitting beside him on his mattress that you missed almost as much as you missed him. âI didnât mean it, when I said I wish I never met you.â
Jaehyun almost laughed. That was the least hurtful thing to leave your lips. âI know. You were upset. And you had every right to be.â
You frowned, suspicious of how calm he was. You half expected him to lash out. âStop being understanding.âÂ
âIf youâre expecting me to be angry, I canât do anything for you. Iâve already spent the past few weeks in that stage of grief.â
You blinked. It was as if he could read your mind. âWhere are you at now?â
Jaehyun was totally indifferent when he told you, âBargaining.â
âFunny. Me too,â you sighed. If only you had been more open-minded, you could have spared you and Jaehyun all this worthless misery.Â
You noticed that Jaehyun said nothing, but he looked a little in his head. And he was somewhere up there, scolding himself for letting him be a fool for you, then thinking, I couldnât resist loving you. Sue me.Â
The emotion was finally surfacing on his face. You could see all of it now. The distress and the love and the heartache. You smirked, thinking to yourself, Heâs my little damsel now.Â
The grin on your lips was fleeting and it disappeared by the time you grabbed Jaehyunâs hands in yours and he peered down at you in surprise. âIâm sorry,â you told him softly. âI thought you were crazy and hopeless for thinking we could be together. Now, I see that you didnât want to quit until youâd exhausted your resources. And I forced your hand. Iâm sorry.â
Jaehyun squeezed your hand. âItâs okay. I understand where you were coming from. You were trying to make things as painless as possible because you genuinely thought we didnât stand a chance against fate.â
âAnd somehow I made shit ten times more painful,â you murmured, ashamed.Â
âLike I said, I understand where you were coming from,â Jaehyun said, being gentler than he shouldâve.Â
You shook your head. That meant nothing. âBut do you forgive me?â
Jaehyun gazed into your pained eyes. It still broke him, but he was starting to lick the wound clean. Things were changing. âYes. I forgive you, baby.â
Your heart softened at the pet name. You never expected to fall for Jaehyun. Not Jaehyun or his precious smile and adorable face. Not the little things heâd say that made you feel as if you would burst with love.Â
But you did fall for him, and all those little things that made him himself. And you didnât want to be without them ever again.Â
âIâm tired of loving each other behind closed doors. I want to be seen with you. I want to go to museums and look at really abstract paintings that youâll tell me are meaningful for whatever reason. I want to explore the city with you and visit shops Iâd never think to go to otherwise.â
Jaehyun was sporting a beaming smile. âYou said you love me.â
âI havenât said it before?â
Jaehyun huffed, âNo. Not even once.â
You held his face, cradling it just shy of yours, and confessed, âThen, I love you. I love you. I love you so much, Jaehyun. I donât know what to do without you.â
âI love you too,â Jaehyun said, leaning in to mumble the tiny confession into your neck, and reminded of how desperately he craved the warmth of your skin.Â
You were grinning so hard your cheeks were hurting.Â
âDonât leave me ever again. Donât ever let me go. Never,â Jaehyun instructed you sharply, and although it was partly muffled, you heard him loud and clear.
âI wonât,â you told him, kissing his forehead. âIf you play me that song you made me on your guitar.â
Jaehyun blinked up at you in surprise. âYou liked it?â
âI think Iâve cried to it, like, a million times,â you admitted unabashedly.Â
Jaehyunâs jaw went slack for only a split second, then he quickly recovered and leapt up to grab his guitar from its resting position in the corner of his room.Â
A smile danced onto your lips as he held the guitar, strumming to the beautiful song heâd written with only his insurmountable adoration for you in mind, and the pining nature of the lyrics made you realize that the yearning was over. You were Jaehyunâs. And Jaehyun was yours.Â
Losing Jaehyun, one of the few people you loved depthlessly, was like losing the last person you had. You didnât know how to be without him. And you didnât have to learn, because you never would be without him again.Â
You watched him attentively, beaming from ear to ear, taking in his beautiful smile and soft voice, and familiar heady cologne. And you thought to yourself, Thereâs nothing to dislike about this guy.Â
#jaehyun smut#nct 127 smut#nct smut#jaehyun x reader#nct imagines#jaehyun imagines#jung jaehyun smut#nct x reader#nct#nct scenarios
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A Million Kisses | Arthur Leclerc x Reader
Summary: You and Arthur have spent your entire life terrorising Charles. But when he turns the tables on you, bringing up a topic youâve largely ignored since your teenaged years, the dynamic changes.
Warnings: Swearing. Fluff. Bullying Charles
2024 timeline. Pinterest pics. Childhood friends to lovers trope
F1 Masterlist
ââââ àŒ»đ„žàŒș ââââ
scuderiaferrari just posted
liked by its_yn_ln, arthur_leclerc and othersÂ
scuderiaferrari just friday thingsÂ
1,997 comments
pierregasly you all know whatâs coming
user1 oh dear, not a charles post
its_yn_ln another day, another thirst trap. bet he posted this himself
arthur_leclerc not what i wanted to see when i opened up my phoneÂ
â its_yn_ln agreed, i think iâve gone blindÂ
user2 every charles post summons yn and and arthur
arthur_leclerc whereâs the carlos content? only reason i followed
â charles_leclerc iâd like both of you to piss off
â its_yn_ln thatâs not a nice way to talk to your fansÂ
alexandrasaintmleux đ
â its_yn_ln did charles force you to write that so that it seemed like somebody liked him?
â arthur_leclerc donât be silly, yn. he took her phone and wrote it himselfÂ
user3 not the terror twins at it again
user4 poor charles has been suffering from this ever since he joined f1
â user5 and prior, it just wasn't as well documented lolÂ
user6 i bet charles begs admin to cancel his posts because he lives in fear of the comments
ââââ àŒ»đ„žàŒș ââââ
charles_leclerc just posted
liked by alexandrasaintmleux, pierregasly and others
charles_leclerc beach daysÂ
1,616 commentsÂ
pierregasly looking good, brother (but iâm praying for you for when they see this)Â
its_yn_ln and i thought narcissus loved himselfÂ
â charles_leclerc i miss the days before arthur befriended youÂ
â arthur_leclerc so before we were both born?
â charles_leclerc exactlyÂ
scuderiaferrari making the most of summer break
â user7 heâs actually begging for you to take him back so that he doesnât have to spend another minute with yn and arthurÂ
its_yn_ln put your chitties awayÂ
â user8 when people ask me what my fav part of f1 is, i show them ynâs commentsÂ
arthur_leclerc not shown is charles eating waves every two secondsÂ
â charles_leclerc still did better than you. you wouldnât stop staring at yn long enough to concentrate on the wavesÂ
â user9 what did he sayyyy
â user10 my ynarthur heart is screaming
â user11 um, guys, who else thinks thereâs truth to this
â user12 no because they have NEVER let charles have the last comment yet neither clap back at this??
ââââ àŒ»đ„žàŒș ââââ
its_yn_ln just posted
liked by alexandrasaintmleux, francisca.cgomes and othersÂ
its_yn_ln as charles once said, beach days âïž although my post is better because it has me and arthur in itÂ
965 comments
arthur_leclerc anything is better with us and not charlesÂ
â its_yn_ln more fun tooÂ
â arthur_leclerc thatâs just me, chĂ©rie
â user14 iâm not screaming, you areÂ
alexandrasaintmelux belle fille
â its_yn_ln pas comparĂ© Ă toi. still not sure what youâre doing with charles
â alexandrasaintmleux doesnât she look gorgeous @/arthur_leclerc?
â arthur_leclerc you and charles deserve each other
charles_leclerc and no thank you to the brother who lent you his yacht for your date?Â
â alexandrasaintmleux bĂ©bĂ©, it is not a date? remember they made it quite clear
â charles_leclerc all iâm saying is i do not look at or touch my friends like thatÂ
â joris_trouche be weird if you did
â charles_leclerc see @/its_yn_ln weirdÂ
â its_yn_ln blockedÂ
francisca.cgomes stunning
â its_yn_ln marry me?
â pierregasly @/arthur_leclerc come get your girlÂ
â its_yn_ln donât you fucking startÂ
oscarpiastri was he holding your hand so you didnât fall into the water?
â arthur_leclerc itâs what any good friend would doÂ
user15 yn and arthur seem to be getting awfully defensive lately đ
â user16 no. theyâve always talked about how annoying it is to be accused of being more than friends so how about you donât contribute to thatÂ
â user17 yeah but things between them seem to be different lately and now the drivers are publicly commenting on it?Â
ââââ àŒ»đ„žàŒș ââââ
arthur_leclerc just posted
liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri and othersÂ
arthur_leclerc from 2 months to 22 years. itâs been a delight to share every special moment with you. happy birthday, mon problĂšme đ„łđ€
1,027 commentsÂ
its_yn_ln i canât believe you dug out that baby photo đ i look forward to another year with you by my side x
its_yn_ln although waking up to find out you had broken into my apartment and filled it with balloons was a bit of a shock
â charles_leclerc you might need to get used to seeing that ugly mug first thing in the morning
â user1 what does this mean?!Â
lilymhe okay but the tiara and the shades? iconic
â its_yn_ln iâm an icon
â charles_leclerc thatâs not how you translate divaÂ
alexandrasaintmleux happy birthday, yn. canât wait to see you at dinner later
â its_yn_ln can my birthday present be you leaving charles at home?
pierregasly happy birthday, yn. drinks on me later
â its_yn_ln okay, youâre forgiven for teaming up with charles
â pierregasly iâm not team charles. iâm team ynarthur
â charles_leclerc we had shirts made
â arthur_leclerc not today, guys.Â
â user2 oo he used a full stop. heâs pissed
user3 guys, do we think the baby is just a phrase like âchaos babyâ or a pet name?
user4 arthur truly is the epitome of âif he wanted to, he wouldâ
â user5 never saw him put in this much effort for any of his previous relationships but yn gets the full princess treatmentÂ
user6 anyone else see that arthur liked @/PastryManâs tweet about yn
â user7 okay but letâs not read too much into it. he could just appreciate the compliment fans are giving to his best friend instead of the usual hate people associated with drivers getÂ
â user8 also, he was likely highly intoxicated last night lol. pr training vanishes at that point
â user9 or, hear me out, like his brother and close friends are suggesting, heâs in love with ynÂ
user10 okay but proof or it didnât happen @/NoRizz. you wouldnât be the first one to spread gossip about driversÂ
â user11 okay, i take back my previous comment. i have since seen proof
ââââ àŒ»đ„žàŒș ââââ
charles_leclerc just posted
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charles_leclerc letâs take a moment to appreciate my photography skills. (oh, and the fact that i am a genius and should not be doubted or ridiculed again) tagged: its_yn_ln, arthur_leclercÂ
2,024 commentsÂ
its_yn_ln insert âi am stupidâ charles radio here. even YOU think youâre stupid and like you said, we shouldnât argue with youÂ
â charles_leclerc i hate youÂ
â its_yn_ln okay but i distinctly remember you asking to be my maid of honour yesterday soâŠ? fake newsÂ
arthur_leclerc canât really boast about your photography skills when these are all grainy/blurryÂ
â charles_leclerc i hate youÂ
â arthur_leclerc you literally cried when you caught us sleeping
â its_yn_ln so loud that it woke us upÂ
â user12 he really is their #1 stan
francisca.cgomes the cutest coupleÂ
â pierregasly what about us?
â its_yn_ln you donât deserve her
â pierregasly what did i do?Â
â pierregasly you should be thanking us! if not for our torment, you and arthur never wouldâve been forced to confront your feelings
lilymhe tell that man to get his hands off my wife
â its_yn_ln look away! it was a moment of weaknessÂ
â arthur_leclerc sheâs loved me for 22 years. sheâs only known you for 5, back off
its_yn_ln bébé, why is your brother so obsessed with us?
â arthur_leclerc he has nothing better to do
â charles_leclerc merde, i thought sucking each otherâs faces would keep you too preoccupied to attack me
â arthur_leclerc never
â its_yn_ln well, maybe if you stopped taking pics of us when we did, weâd be more inclined toÂ
ââââ àŒ»đ„žàŒș ââââ
Requests for F1 smau's are open. You can see who I write for on my masterlist :)
#formula 1#f1#formula 1 smau#f1 smau#formula 1 social media au#f1 social media au#social media au imagine#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 headcanon#formula 1 drabble#formula 1 one shot#formula 1 fluff#formula 1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 headcanon#f1 drabble#f1 one shot#f1 fluff#f1 x reader#arthur leclerc#arthur leclerc imagine#arthur leclerc drabble#arthur leclerc headcanon#arthur leclerc one shot#arthur leclerc fluff#arthur leclerc smau#arthur leclerc x reader
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CASUAL â leah williamson
wow, itâs a long one. this has admittedly taken me so long to write. i had the idea of this fic at the start of october but for some reason its just took so long to actually finish lol, but anyways as always hope you enjoyđ€
warning: implied smut, mdni 18+
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"girl where did you end up last night?" your best friend and also flatmate, amelie asked as you sat in your local cafe debriefing from last nights' night out events over a 'morning' coffee â it was more late afternoon â the two of you having very different endings to the night.
you sat swirling the dregs of your coffee around as you tried to find the way to explain, not so much how you didn't end up back at the flat cause you know she's knows that after catching you walking through the front door at nine am this morning in last nights clothes your head hanging from both the severe amount of alcohol you'd consumed last night but also in slight shame.
it was more whose apartment you stayed at you were trying to find the words to tell her about.
"oh y/n. you didn't did you-" amelie began as you nodded as a defeated sigh left your lips. that being all the clarification your best friend needed. ok, it may not be your proudest moment but who are you to deny a sexy, goddess of a women. but you knew this was heading in the direction of your getting another ear full.
"y/n.. what have i told you, you need to cut all ties with leah. you deserve someone who's going to treat you so much better-" amelie reached out grabbing your hands as you were still looking down at your coffee cup, you looked up a little.
you knew she was right, but you couldn't admit that to yourself. there was something about leah she was addicting and no matter how many times you ended up in between her sheets telling yourself it was the last time, it always happened again.
"yeah but-" you began but amelie gave you a stern look as her eyebrows raised as you rolled your eyes, "ok i get the message, i'll put it on my to-do list â cut leah williamson off." you dryly said, knowing it would be easier said than actually done.
"seriously you need too, your acting like a loser-" amelie continued as you opened your mouth to say something about the small insult she'd thrown your way but you were unable to. "you are though, your better than the rumours that people are spitting-"
"how do you-"
"people talk y/n!"
you'd heard the rumours going around the locals plus there'd been some article posted on an instagram post noticing you in leah's car after a match â you being labelled as 'mysterious girl'.
you weren't known to the media, thank god, you were lucky if you had over two hundred followers as if you had anymore than that fans would have an absolute field day with the news.
instead you were just a normal, twenty six year old girl who'd grown up in north london and had the usual nine to five corporate job as well as having a casual relationship with the leah williamson but you kept that under wraps as after all it was just something which was casual.
you'd met through a mutual friend of yours who also happened to be one of leah's teammates. lotte, who you went to school together and you'd stayed somewhat in contact. it always being a pleasant surprise to see her whenever your paths crossed.
you had bumped into her in a coffee shop near hours before you were being pressed up against a club wall by a blonde defender, having had one too many. the two of you had spent the night being overly touchy and flirting, her lips being felt all around your body leaving your skin feeling hot and your head all fuzzy.
"mine or yours?" leah whispered against your ear, as her teeth grazed your earlobe, you having to refrain yourself from whimpering. leah's hands gripping your hips as your were tangled in the ends of her hair.
"yours" you managed to get out, although it was quiet leah hear every letter. her hands reaching up to grab your hand as she dragged you through the club and towards the exit without as much of a bat of an eyelid towards her friends who she was leaving behind.
to both your luck there was a black cab waiting on the side of the road, both of you taking the chance to get in as leah immediately told the driver her address.
leah's hand stayed on your thigh the entire time as her thumb drew little circles absentmindedly, the busy streets of london making it feel like it's taken hours just to get a few minutes up the road.
as you watched out the window there was a cloud of regret you knew you'd feel in the morning but right now that wasn't what you mind wanted. you right now wanted leah.
so as soon as you cross the threshold of her apartment, you were pinned against the wall. the coldness sending a sharp shiver down your spine. "your so gorgeous" leah whispered as her eyes darkened, the sweet innocence of her blue eyes long gone.
inching closer so that your faces were impossibly close, taking one of her hands as it lands on the back of your neck and kisses you. slow but deep.
letting yourself get lost in her lips as it becomes more passionate and searching but then leah leans back a little, realising that you were in the middle of her hallway.
"come with me, baby" she whispers, her accent thick as the pet name rolls off her tongue but laced with love making your head spin even more as she extends her hand for you to grab as she leads you towards her bedroom, pushing the door open with her foot as her other hand laces itself back around you waist pulling you back to being impossibly close to her.
giving her a teasing look as she kisses you again this one more needy and fervent. feeling her hands all around your body nipping and pulling at your skin as you feel the back of you legs on the edge of her bed. a slight push and you back met with softness of her white sheets.
a small moan leaving leah's lips into the kiss as she felt your hands gently squeeze her ass, feeling her smile against your lips knowing that you were having the same affect on her as she was on you. you were both driving each other crazy.
as the kiss grow more sloppy as whines were being strung from both of your lips, your hips mindlessly starting to slowly grind against her. leah moving to kiss your neck leaving small kisses and sucking on your neck that elicited small moans from your lips as your breathing hitches.
leah's kisses to your neck becoming more intense you could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter by the second as you hips carried on to move against her. your hands lingering on her back as your nails dug that little deeper, more than likely leaving scratch marks.
"please le-" you moan out softly, needing more.
-
that wasn't the last time you saw the blonde defender, nor the last time you ended up with your limbs tangled between each other.
whenever the other had, had a drink or just when you needed company leah seemed to always be there. you felt like you craved her at all hours of the day. you found your mind sometimes wondering what she may be doing when you weren't by her side.
but you weren't together, it was just a casual thing. is what you found you were telling yourself.
but with each weekend that passed you found yourself spending them with leah more and more often. which is exactly what had happened this weekend.
leah had called you, she never calls you only ever texts. strange is what you thought when you saw her caller id on the screen a small smile slipping onto your lips as you pressed accept.
"hello?" you said as leah was yet to speak, you thought maybe she had called the wrong number. maybe she hadn't meant to call you .
"hi y/n-" she finally spoke but she lacked her usual confident tone, this time it had been replaced with a nervous shake of her accent. like she had something in her head that she needed to get out.
"did you need something le?" you ask as there is a deafening silence on the other end, a few rustling sounds before leah clears her throat.
"um are you doing anything this afternoon-" leah paused as you think to your plans for the afternoon, "more specifically are you doing anything at two?" leah continued as she waited your response as you hummed.
"no i should be free, why?" you asked wondering what this was going to lead to, what did she have planned.
"fabulous!" a breath of relief was let out from leah as she had a big grin on her face on the other line which if you could have saw would have made you smile, "since you aren't doing anything, do you wanna come to my match?"
you felt as though her words had just fell on deaf ears, you couldn't believe what you were actually hearing. ever since you and leah had- well whatever your relationship was it had always been in the darkness of everyone else, behind peoples back and away from prying eyes.
this felt like a step, you didn't know what direction but it felt like it meant something good.
as you tried to contain your happiness you nodded forgetting she wasn't actually in the room with you, "i- um i would love to le"
"great! i'll erm get your tickets sorted and send them over" leah explained as you hummed along before she quickly had to say her goodbyes claiming that she needed to get her pre match routine started.
since having to re-organise your afternoon, you were now going around rushing trying to find an outfit. not knowing if it was too cliche you going in an arsenal jersey of leah's or whether a subtle hint of red in your outfit would be a better idea.
deciding on just the subtle hint of red, finding a red cap which just so happen to also be leahâs which sheâd left at yours after one night.
once you got the match you were amazed at the amount of people who had turned up, yourself not being as clued in of how big a scale womenâs football was as admittedly you didnât exactly have a big interest in football or in sport in general.
but for leah, youâd sit and watch football match after match if you knew it would make her happy.
once you found your seat in the stand you quickly sent the blonde a message not expecting her to even reply but she did.
Y/N:) - iâm here! good luck, iâll be cheering you onâșïž
LE<3 - i seen you! iâve been looking for that hat. but i think itâs found a better home now;)
LE<3 - meet me near the dugout at the end!
finding yourself smiling at her messages as she sent another telling you what to say to the security so they would let you in to where leah wanted you to be, before slipping your phone back into your pocket ready to watch a game of football.
the ninety minutes felt as if they flew by, and at first you must admit you didnât exactly understand what you were watching so you just cheered when everyone else around you did, but at the first half and definitely into the second half you managed to get a few rules down â with the help of a google search..
watching as leah walked around clapping and waving to fans looking so effortlessly good in her kit and with the fact sheâd just run around for a good ninety minutes it never managed to fail to surprise you how easy she made it look.
despite the team only coming out with a draw which you knew leah would be slightly huffed about especially since they were by far the better team, you still were incredibly proud of her.
walking down and reciting the exact words that leah had messaged you to the security you made it to where she had told you to meet her, but thatâs when a certain someone recognised you. a wide smile and arms wide open for you.
"oh y/n it's lovely to see you" amanda engulfed you in a hug, a warm fuzzy but also bittersweet feeling filling your chest. you'd met her mum totally by accident one of the first times that you and leah slept together. she'd been dropping of groceries for her daughter. leah trying to rush you out the door before things got to awkward.
but instead amanda being the polite women she is asked her daughter to introduce you to her. it ending up you stayed an extra two hours longer than you'd planned much to leah's discomfort, but in a way that made it all the more that enjoyable.
"what you doing after here?" amanda asked as she pulled you out the hug, leah lingering just behind you chewing the inside of her lip. "just if your not busy you can always join us for a few drinks" amanda smiled so sincerely as you thought over the invitiation briefly, would it be awkward - maybe? but friends can go out for drinks too!
âyeah, iâd love tooâ you grinned as a small cheer left amandaâs lips, you seeing the slight falter of a look on leahâs face before it turned back to her signature tight lipped frown.
or maybe you did it just to spite the blonde defender who stood so nervous next to you.
"brilliant! leah we'll wait out at the cars for you" amanda directed towards her daughter as she nodded a small sigh leaving her lips as she plastered on a fake smile, you knew there was a part of her that didnt want you there but that just added fuel to your fire.
amanda looping her arm with yours as the two of you walked towards where the cars would be at the back of the emirates stadium to take you and the williamson family for a few drinks to celebrate the win.
"so how have you been?" amanda asks as she walks beside you, a genuine interest in her tone, as you hum catching her up with your life which hadn't been all that exciting, most days merging into one.
"leah tells me you've been helping her with some business project? how's it going?" amanda asks and you swear your throat started to close up, your words getting stuck in between your lips as your eyes goes wide.
"oh- um yeah it's coming together-" quite literally. you stutter out a response hoping it doesn't raise to much suspicion and praying that the topic is over with just as quick as it came.
"leah won't give me a clue what it's about" amanda complains as she continues to tell you about the countless times she tried to get it out of her daughter as you hummed along more in your head as to why leah would say you were just business partners? why not just say your friends, cause after all you were?
"mhm well i won't be one to spoil the surprise then" you nervously chuckled as you saw the cars in the distance knowing you were close to the end of the conversation. amanda letting out a groan as she hoped she'd be able to get the big surprise out of you but that would be pretty hard considering there was no big surprise.
you were going to have to talk with leah, which would be a little odd as when the two of you were alone, not much talking would be done well not the converse action.
amanda letting go of your arm as she got into the other side of the cab, leah coming out the exit of the back of the stadium as she jogged quickly getting into the people carrier. sitting herself in the seat next to you as she shot you a soft smile.
-
the night was actually going smoothly, leah seemed to get out of whatever strop she was in when you were stood with her family in the emirates and was actually talking to you now. well more flirting with you. her hand getting dangerously high up on your thigh as she spoke.
"have i told you how pretty you look-" she blurted out as you took a small sip of your drink, a small smile appearing on your face as you lifted the glass from your lips and back to the table.
"you may have mentioned a few times" you whispered as this time it was leah's time to smile as her hand drifted a little further up your thigh as you shot her look as she squeezed your thigh making you jump in your seat a little.
"le-" you harhsly said inbetween your teeth as she looked at you so innocently as if she had not clue what she was doing to you but you know she knew. leah knew what her touch was doing to you and how it was affecting you.
leah had you right where she wanted you and honestly, you were going to let her - you'd face the consequences later on. right now, you wanted her, in more ways than one.
standing up with a loud scrape of your chair, all eyes turning to land on you, "m'sorry just- i'll be back-" you stutter out, your cheeks all flushed as you made a beeline straight for the toilets.
amanda looking worryingly over her shoulder at you before turning to leah, who just simply shrugged that making her mum's eyebrows furrow even more.
"i better go and check on her" leah stood up excusing herself as she followed suit pushing the door on the pub toilet door seeing you touching up your lip gloss as you regained your composure from the feeling on her hands on your body.
leah locking the door behind her, a rye smile on her lips as she stepped just that little bit closer to you, feeling your heart beat just that little bit faster.
was it nerves, probably but maybe it was more the uncertainty as you never knew what you were going to get with the blonde.
"are you sure?" leah whispered as she placed a quick kiss to your cheek before resting her hands to your hips as a smug smile came from you before you nodded.
"do you think you can keep up?" leah teased as your shot her a shocked look as she pulled you into deeper into the bathroom, your back now pushed flush against the sink.
"i'm sure i can.. business partner-" you whisper as you inch closer to her, making your eyes switch between her eyes and lips a flash of shock appearing on her face.
but just as leah opened her mouth to say another teasing comment, you wrap your hand behind her neck and slam your lips against hers. the kiss quickly turning heated when leah's tongue enters your mouth as a familiar warmth floods your body in seconds,
her hands gripping at your waist as she tugs you closer to her without breaking the kiss. the sound of your lips together was enough to leave an uncomfortable throbbing inbetween your legs.
leah pulls back for a moment searching for anything in your eyes that may say that you don't want this but there was nothing but lust, a small whine leaving your lips at the loss of contact in your lips before leah's diving right back in.
the sound that had been blasting through the pub had now quieten to a mere hum as your focus was solely now on the girl in front of you.
her hands placed on the small on your back slightly pushing in to make your back arch as your chest pushed into her. as leah's hands soon made their way slowly to slide down you your ass as your tongues graze against each other.
"so pretty for me, my love" your heart jumps at her loving tone as you feel the blood rush to your cheeks, leah's words always having some sort of effect on you and always leaving you feeling flustered.
leah's eyes roam your figure as her hand traces absentmindedly, as if she planning her next attack on your body. the blonde noticing the way your breath hitched when her fingers sit on your pulse point on your neck.
leah rotating her hand so her fingers lie gently against it awaiting your reaction as she smirks watching as you squeeze your eyes shut, as your hands grip against the rim of the sink.
a small chuckle leaves leah's lips as she leans down to press her lips to your neck sucking harshly on your sweet spot. a string of little whimpers leave your pretty little lips as you tilt your head more to the side allowing leah to have more access.
"le, please do something" you beg, feeling her hand roam underneath your hoodie, grazing across your breasts.
"don't be impatient baby girl" she rasps against your ear, tugging down on it with her teeth as you feel your self squeeze your thighs together. hoping it will help you relieve some tension between her legs.
leah finally lifting your hoodie over your head as she throws to the ground of the pub bathroom. usually you would have felt embarrassed as you would feel your whole body want to cower aways but with leah, it felt different. it felt good, it felt right.
-
it was a typical saturday night, leah had her home match at the emirates on the sunday so she was taking advantage of her the small out of rest time she had. a small hum of the tv playing in the background as you watched it, but really all your mind could focus on was the fact leahâs fingers were combing through the ends of your hair.
you were lying wrapped in leah's arms on her couch as the tv played, leah focused on some insta reel on her phone. you head tucked on her chest as it heaved up and down, the wholesome of the interaction. it felt like it was meant to be â it felt real.
"le?" you whispered your head turning to look up at the blonde as a small hum left her lips, her phone lowering a little.
"where do you see yourself in a year?" you asked, it was something that played on your mind a lot, cause would you still be in some casual relationship with leah or would you have your own apartment and sheâd show you off to her friends as something more.
you were more hoping for the second option, since the months had passed since you both promised out of breathe that there wouldnât be any strings attached.
and boy oh boy had that changed, especially since your favourite bra lived in her dresser. it was pretty hard to be casual.
âcause maybe weâd be more and going on cute little dates in a cafe before youâd go off to trainingâ you began as you sat up, you rambling on as your hands flew around with some enthusiasm making you miss the way leahâs face changed.
âand then when you come home iâd be there waiting, your dinner on the table-â you paused as you looked down to see leahâs face, puzzled but also her eyes they told you a different emotion, not the same energy you had but it was sadness â more a sense of guilt.
âi- sorry i got ahead of myselfâ you mumbled as your back sunk into the back of her couch, the further side from her.
leah shook her head, and you were half expecting her to wrap you in a hug and kiss your cheek and tell you it was okay and that maybe she felt the same way.
but she didnât.
"y/n, remember, we're not together-" leah cut straight to the point, her tone blunt as you felt your heart drop and your brows furrowing and a quickly developing pout spreading across your lips.
you let out a shaky breath as you nodded slowly, you understood. she had kept her side of the promise of no strings attached. âi- just thought maybe?â you said so quietly it only came out as a whisper as you fidgeted with your fingers.
looking up to see leahâs face it told you everything you needed to know. youâd only known the blonde for a several amount of months but you knew her well enough to know what her face was telling you without actually having to say the actual words.
âoh i get itâ you scoffed slightly, choking back on the tears which pricked at your eyes. all it ever was going to be was casual.
leahâs opened her mouth but nothing came out as she sat herself up on the couch but before she could even attempt to reach out to you, you were up from the couch. slipping your shoes on your feet. you didnât want to be in the same room as her.
ây/n- donâtâ leah finally managed to get out as she followed your actions following you into her hallway which was littered with her football memorabilia from her glittering career. but you shook your head, her voice to painful to hear as you stopped with your back to her just before the front door.
"do you know what's actually quite funny-" you paused to let out a little chuckle as you stood mere metres from the door, as you looked up from your shoes spinning slightly so you faced her. leah stood her shoulders sunken as she tried to plead with you not to leave.
"i actually thought i meant something to you- but i guess that's just how little i actually meant to you" you sighed as tried to steady your breath, tears prickling at your eyes ready to fall at any moment.
"i- i was ready-" you paused as your words got stuck in your throat, leah reaching out for you as you took a step back. "i was ready to give you my everything" you admitted it coming out just a little louder than a whisper.
"y/n-"
âno leah, youâd made it clear how you feelâ you spat out as you spun on your heal, leaving leah calling out your name but your ignored her, reaching for the door and hearing how it clicked shut behind you.
part of you was hoping she was going to rip her front door open and call after you and not stop until you were back in the warmth of her arms but the corridor in her apartment block was silent.
the other part of you hated yourself how long you had let it drag out for, but now you were free. she can go to hell.
stumbling through the street as your tears fell down your cheeks, tapping away at your phone until you found the contact you wanted, the dial drilling through your ear a few times before it got to voicemail.
you sighed as you heard the beep, "i cut her off, amelie."
#leah williamson#leah williamson x reader#woso#woso x reader#woso imagine#woso blurbs#awfc#arsenal wfc#arsenal women#england wnt#england women#england#enwoso
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cat and mouse
summary: your co-worker has been on your case ever since you've started your time at the company. a strange turn of events and circumstance changes all that.
pairing: coworker! lee know x reader
trope: enemies to lovers <3, office au
genre: slight angst, smut, and fluff
warnings: fem-bodied reader, oral, creampie, overstim, unprotected sex, bulge kink, spitting, etc. 18+ mdni
word count: 9.8k
a/n: a little practice piece for you guys, i hope i did well;; so sorry this took me so long to write :( i also hope it's cohesive enough, i keep writing this fic on and off sleep deprived lol
-
tickâŠ
tockâŠ
tickâŠ
to-
âthe clock isnât going to speed up just because you keep staring at it.â the cubicle beside you chirps in, momentarily shaking you out of your thoughts. by now, youâve trained to pay him no mind as you keep your focus on the clock that reads 4:56 pm, almost taunting you in a way.Â
a few more minutes and youâll be home free for the weekend. maybe you can finally relax and get away from your dreaded paperwork. perhaps look through your shopping apps since you had nothing else better to do for the weekend, or better yet- you could run a well deserved bath with that bath bomb you always wanted to use but never got a chance to. all the possibilities sounded heavenly although all that would have to actually wait until you get home.
one other thing that you had been anticipating all day was having that dinner after work with jeongin- your close friend and coworker from a different department. he had been begging you for ages to finally try that one soba place that opened up nearby with him. you being a good friend, agreed.
âyou might actually melt the clock if you keep doing that yâknow.â your cubicle neighbor- lee minho smirks, now standing and leaning over your workspace.
"what do you want?" pointedly asking him.
"oh, nothing. nothing."
âyou just donât ever shut up, do you?â you deadpan and tilt your chin up to stare at him, minho just offers a sly smirk in return. he always liked to bother and butt into your business for some odd reason.Â
minho shrugs, âitâs fun teasing you. you do that thing where you scrunch your nose when you get riled up.â a vain visibly pops up from your forehead, but turn to your computer, hoping to drown him out with your typing.
you knew better than to give him a reaction. if you had a penny for how many times that particular vein popped from your forehead because of minho, youâd probably be a millionaire by now.
âoh, one more thing-â the brown haired man saunters back to his desk, and comes back to yours with a huge stack of papers. he unceremoniously plops it down, the annoying feline-like grin on his face.Â
âwhatâsâŠthis?â raising an eyebrow at him, you hope it's not what you think he's planning. you have plans. he crosses his arms and pushes his framed glasses back.
âpaperwork, of course.â you wanted to strangle him. âyes, iâm well aware that this is paperwork. why is it now on my desk?â
before you could protest any further, âthey want this finished by next week.â he leans to practically whisper in your ear. minho grins mischievously after he sees your pink flustered face take a step back.
the humongous stack was already on his desk, so your boss most likely assigned it to him in the first place. you furrow your eyebrows and turn to him, worst fear coming true.
"ohh no. not in a million years." you get up from your seat, avoiding the offending pile. he starts going back to his desk, neatly placing his things in it's organizers.
âwhy canât you finish it? you- what are you doing?â but minho was already grabbing his bag and blazer and looking at his wrist watch.
âwould you look at the time- thanks for covering for me!â aaaand he's gone.
plopping down on your chair, you bury your face in your hands, stopping yourself from pulling out hair. frustration creases on your forehead. well, you could kiss that dinner with jeongin goodbye. now you definitely want to strangle him.
-
lee minho. if you were to find a personification of the word annoying, the brunette would certainly be it. that man has done nothing but annoy the hell out of you ever since you started your time in the company. other people in your department often regarded him as one of the most reliable and polite employees here.
you would inwardly scoff at the frequent mention of minho and his apparent âreliable-ness and politenessâ since all he was, was just the opposite. to you at least. it was hard to believe at first.Â
but then you actually saw the way he carried himself with effortlessness and composure, handled business affairs, and how he mingled so seamlessly with fellow colleagues. it was nothing short of professional.
so you had a theory that he was only like that towards you. a complete dick only to you. you although werenât quite sure why.
the girls in your department would often talk about him as well, mostly for his appearance. you really werenât one for gossiping but you would listen in sometimes, curious about what they see in him. it was hard not to when they would gush about their workplace crushes and love lives so openly, a tinge of envy seeps through your bones every time it would be mentioned. you have got to get laid one day.
âheâs totally my type, you think i should ask him out?â your other cubicle neighbor says quite loudly during her break. her friend beside her shakes their head, âno, no you canât.â
âwhy not? isn't he hot and available?â she asks absentmindedly. you start to zone out for a minute, only catching bits and pieces of their conversation. but you contemplate about what she said for a second, you would be lying if you said that lee minho was unattractive.
far from that actually. distinctly remembering catching a few glimpses of him from your first day, intrigued and interest piqued. his sharp nose and cheek bones, features were like sculpted by michaelangelo himself, his toned and lean figure accentuated by the perfectly well fit suit that he always seem to wear.
you definitely found him attractive at first.
that was until he started annoying you, so all of that was quickly out the window.
but you would probably end yourself before admitting that to anyone. you let out a disgruntled sigh, appearance wouldnât really matter if he wasnât such a knob to begin with.Â
as you approached your dimly lit street, all you could think about was that feline faced jerk. what was he thinking, dumping all that work on you last minute? you felt really bad about cancelling on jeongin, texting him earlier about the sudden change of schedule. the dark haired man you've come to know just replies with a little;
'we'll just try again next week lol'
you breathe out a relieved sigh, thankful that he wasn't mad. kicking the pebbles on the side of the road, you imagined that the little rocks were minho's face. you could not wait until you get home.
âstupid paperwork, stupid minho, stupidâŠâÂ
your muttering fades and you suddenly stop in your tracks as your elderly neighbor waves you over from her front door, grandma lee or just grandma- as she insists you call her instead.
you bowed and greeted her, âhi grandma, did you need something?â you were quite close with the sweet old lady, her gray hair swaying lightly in the wind.
the elder would often check up on you after hearing that you traveled all the way from your hometown to the city, almost taking you in as her own. you were grateful for the company since homesickness would often creep up. she would also often bring you comically large jars of kimchi which you appreciated greatly.
she smiles as she gestures to the multiple bags she was holding, "i just need a little help getting these inside the house, dear." you take the heavy bags from her hands. what were in these, rocks? grandma claps her hands together in remembrance.
âhave you had dinner yet? i made extra.â
-
grandma sets a bowl in front of you, the sight of seaweed soup instantly brings you comfort. your stomach grumbles as you dig in. she watches you intently as you practically inhale the soup, starved from the long and terrible day you had.
you sent her a polite questioning look. âi want to ask you for a favor.â she finally starts, flicking through the channels of her tv. the weather was on, the forecaster droning on about rain happening this week in the same monotone voice for the past 10 minutes. you look at her and nod immediately, she had done so much for you, doing a few favors aren't going to hurt.
âdo you have a car, dear?â
blowing on the steaming hot seaweed soup, you nod again at her question, wondering where this conversation is heading.
âi need someone to drive me to my sonâs house tomorrow, i'm staying over there for the weekend and my bags are a little heavy. would that be alright with you, dear?â youâve heard about her family from her stories when she would have you over like now, little bits and pieces. you smile and agree.
a cheshire grin graces your features after a moment.  âwhatâs in it for me?â it was a joke of course, grandma knew it too. having spent a large amount of time with her, your humor mustâve rubbed off at some point.
you didnât expect her to actually answer but she replies, âactually, iâd like you to meet my grandson as well. i think you two would get along. he's the same age as you too.â
the aforementioned grandson was someone youâve seen in a bunch of grandma leeâs hallway pictures. you remember that he was an only child, often the only kid and the lone subject in the photos. your favorite was the kid in red with a toothy grin. he mustâve been 5 when it was taken.
"it was a joke, grandma. i'm sure your grandson wouldn't want a stranger suddenly coming to meet him." she shakes her head,
"nonsense. that boy doesn't know what he wants." you laugh at her persistence. getting another bowl of rice, you ponder her offer for a second. maybe this could finally cure your dull and dry love life, it couldn't hurt to try. if worse comes to worst, you could just pretend it never happened.
âbut of course, iâll drive you there. i have nothing to do anyways.â you say with a mouthful of rice. grandma pats you on the back and continues to flick through the channels once more.
âthank you dear.â
-
the sunset blears through your windshield, sun rays momentarily blinding you. it was clear as day. the ride to her familyâs house was relatively quiet, the elderly lady in your passenger seat preferred to sleep the whole ride through after handing you the address, giving you a moment to leave you in your thoughts.
pulling up to the neighborhood, you let out a low whistle. the house was at the end of the street, steep and uphill. it was surely going to be a struggle to get the car way up there.
you get to the curb, reverse and try to park your car as best as you can. the house was really pretty, you thought. it looked pretty lived in too, but in a cozy way. vines was sprawled all over the brick exterior and flowers had bloomed all over the property.
you wake up grandma and start to haul her luggage up and out the car.
"you go up, grandma. i'll catch up."
after struggling to get the multiple bags of luggage up hill, you finally waddle to the front door. the door was left slightly ajar, probably for your convenience. you took a quick peek around, hoping for someone to let you in.
calling out before entering, you were met with silence. you figured they were too busy catching up so you eventually let yourself in.
the furniture adorning the hallway and rooms were made out of wood, the handiwork and craftsmanship was evident, intricate carvings on each and every one of them. it mustâve been made by grandma leeâs son as youâve heard from her many stories.
a ginger cat with white stripes greets you as you enter the front door, it strides over to you in intrigue. leaning down and dropping grandma's bags gently, you let the feline sniff your hand before allowing itself to be pet. soon enough it starts rubbing its body on your legs and purring loudly. adorable cat, you thought.
silence fills the house, aside from the soft chatter coming from the other side of the wall. the cat leaves it's spot, not wanting to be pet anymore. you sit up and observe the house again, noticing a myriad of family photos adorning the walls and some of the tables.
coming closer to one of the pictures, again, you encounter the same young boy in red but this time he was wearing a cap sideways and a puffer jacket that seemed to be way too big for him.
"hello! you must be y/n!" a feminine voice suddenly calls out from the living room. you straighten your back from the mention of your name, hoping she didn't catch you closely staring at their personal and probably private photos. grandma lee comes out from the living room as well and walks towards you with a younger and kind looking woman in tow. she had another cat in her arms, this time it's coat was gray with dark streaks.
you smile and greet her politely, exchanging pleasantries. you quietly pick up the neglected bags and place them near the guest room. they continue their conversation with each other from before, you now awkwardly standing in the middle. looking at your wrist watch, you figured you should probably head on home.
"i suppose i'll get going now, it was really nice meeting you." mrs. lee looked startled at your sudden announcement.
"why don't you stay for a while? it must've been a long drive here, you're probably hungry." these two women weren't related by blood but they practically were, having the same idea when it came to hospitality.
"well, i don't want to overstay my welcome. i'm just here to give grandma a ride." smoothening out your non-existent clothes wrinkles in apprehension.
she waves her hand in dismissal, "but you must stay, you're already here anyways." she grins and pats your back. mrs. lee didn't seem to budge at your refusal.
you relented, finally accepting her offer. "my son is in the kitchen whipping something up. he's a great cook." you totally forgot about her son being actually here. the joke offer from yesterday completely forgotten and flew out of your mind. slight embarrassment runs through you, realizing that the offer was somewhat serious. you would surely need to mentally prep yourself for more socialization than you've anticipated.
but you instantly believe her claim that her son was a great cook, the amazing and aromatic smell of what seems to be steak and multiple herbs and spices from the kitchen wafts through out the entire house.
"okay- while we're waiting," mrs. lee gestures for you to take a seat, "you should go sit on the couch, y/n. i've been dying to meet you."
she hands you a mug of hot tea and sits down next to you. "mom here talks about you all the time, thank you for keeping her company."
"it's no problem at all, i like her company too." and with that, the three of you fall into a smooth and comfortable rhythm of conversation. the younger of the two women across from you continues to poke and prod into life, not that you minded. she would ask you about your life, where were you from, where you went to school, and where you went to work and among other things.
she offers you stories of her son gleefully in return, laughing about a particularly embarrassing story when he was younger. you learned that he was quite fond and talented in dancing, loves cats, and loves to cook. oddly enough mrs. lee never mentioned his name at all, you didn't want to pry. now that you've thought about it, grandma hadn't mentioned his name at all either. all you had for a lead was initials you remember seeing etched on one of grandma's photos. you figured you'd meet this person soon enough anyways.
after a while, grandma lee retreats to the guest room they've set up, assuming that she'd want to fix her belongings. mrs. lee starts to drag you around the house, urging you to help her set the plates up and talk more while doing so. midway through placing the chopsticks on the table, the sound of pots and pans clanging from the other room shakes you out of your thoughts.
"mom?" a voice calls out from their kitchen. it must be her son. you slightly raise your eyebrows, he sounds oddly familiar but you can't place your finger who he might've sounded like. you quickly brush it off.
"yes?"
"have you seen the slow cooker?" the man finally reveals himself and pokes his head through the entryway to the kitchen.
you lift your head and lock eyes with the said person. shock freezes your movements, dropping the utensils that you were holding. blinking owlishly in surprise, you weren't sure if what you were seeing was real.
you feel the wind knock out of your lungs. this was not happening. the brown eyes, brown hair, and cat like face from work that you've come to dislike stared back. you must be hallucinating.
standing across from you was lee minho, the lee minho. grandma leeâs grandson. the same one that's been tormenting you all year round. you just couldn't believe it, wondering what kind of luck you had to end up here.
you think back to when you looking (--more like snooping) at grandma lee's framed hallway photos, the kid- that was him all along? you're really bad at recognizing faces, you thought to yourself. well, she certainly made him seem like a complete angel from the stories.
"oh! this is y/n. your grandmother invited her to eat dinner with us." mrs. lee pulls your figure closer into a side hug and beams at her son.
he furrows his eyebrows at you, glancing back and forth at you and his mother. he must be as confused and shocked as you are. "hi." minho says, nodding at your direction. you purse your lips and shuffle uncomfortably in place.
minho again asks where the slow cooker was since the first time he asked was ignored. he was wearing a loose fitting shirt, his broad shoulders looking more prominent. you realize you've never seen him outside of his work attire before. he looked comfortable, domestic even.
his mom says to check the cupboards, paying him no mind and continuing to set the table up. minho nods slowly, eyes not leaving yours and heads back to the kitchen. a little shell shocked about your little encounter, you clear your throat and go back to the task at hand. you'd just have to deal with this for the evening and then you could go home.
when the table was done, mrs. lee turns to you, "y/n? would you mind helping minho over there with bringing the side dishes to the table?" you freeze at the realization that you would have to interact with him alone.
"sure." you say meekly. she thanks you and goes to the guest room to presumably get the older lady for dinner. psyching your self up before entering the kitchen, his broad back facing you. he senses your presence and chuckles.
you were sure he was going to make this whole night unbearable.
"well, this is a nice surprise."
"what are you doing here?" stupid question from you seeing as this was his own house. mentally face palming your head, he hums smugly and starts dividing the side dishes onto smaller plates. you notice his very toned arms flexing as he puts the tubs away.
"i should be asking you that. i didn't expect you to be here." he says nonchalantly, but you could feel a sly smile forming on his face as he speaks.
"neither did i." you grumble and lightly shove him aside, wanting to get the side dishes out to the table already. you ignore the way he looks so domestic right now.
-
you stare at him from directly across the table, hoping he would keep his mouth shut. he smirks while he eats, purposefully riling you up and glancing at you with a knowing grin.
do not lose your cool, y/n.
silence rings out the dining room aside from the quiet clattering of utensils on plates.
"y/n?"
"i'm sorry?" you snap out of your little less than friendly staring contest with him.
"do... you know each other?" his mother finally breaks the silence and here eyes flickers back and forth between both of you.
"yes-"
"no-"
a full on headache is surely forming now, it's going to be hard to hide your annoyance. quick, think of a lie.
"we're coworkers. same company." you grimace as he answers for the both of you. no use in hiding it now. "oh! that's wonderful." the older lady to your right clasps her hands in delight.
"you didn't tell me you worked together." grandma turns to you grinning brightly. you avoid eye contact with her, nodding and forcing out a smile. you wanted nothing more than want the ground to swallow you up right then and there.
"you two must be close." his mother says, sipping at her drink. you were about to open your mouth to say that you really aren't actually, but minho beats you to the punch.
"we kind of are." minho rests his elbows on the table and turns to you. he's enjoying this. the bastard was enjoying this. resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you turn back to finish your meal.
hatred for the man aside, he really was a great cook as mentioned countless of times. you actually find yourself enjoying the meal he had prepared.
"tell me what you two get up to at work, i want to hear all of it."
you shift uncomfortably in your seat, being honest wouldn't be the best idea. you didn't want these two lovely women to know how much of an unpleasant man their son and grandson is. and it was his house after all, the best decision might be to at least be civil with him.
so you play along with his facade, not wanting to disappoint them even if it was probably going to bite you in the ass later.
minho starts cutting the meat up into bite sized pieces while the conversation between the two ladies continue. he places it on your plate without saying anything. this takes you by surprise, looking at his face for an answer.
the two audience members among the dining table seems to have noticed your little exchange. a wrinkly hand touches over yours catches your attention.
"oh, so are you two..." she trails off, implication heavy on her tone.
"no- no, grandma. i told you i wasn't seeing anyone." you shoot a discrete glare towards minho.
"ah, i see..."
you shrink down your seat for the remainder of the hour, embarrassment flooding your being. why did he have to do that? you were already practically fighting for your life not to get too involved with all this, and he pulls that?
after that very eventful dinner, it was already nearing 8 pm. you figured that you should probably get out of their hair, not wanting to disturb them than you already had. that bubble bath and movie marathon you had planned in your head sounded amazing right about now. maybe that would help you forget about this crazy night.
"grandma," she turns in response, "i think i better get going." you smile at her, digging through your pockets for the car keys. a different cat from the other two that you've met takes long strides, stopping by your feet. you greet it by petting it's head gently. you wondered how many cats they have.
"now? look at the weather dear," you look briefly at the window nearest you, surely enough it was heavily pouring. you deflate at the sight.
"i don't think it's a great idea to drive out in a storm." she looks at you in concern. crap. the conversation at dinner must've carried you away, not even noticing the angry rumble of thunder that came from the sky. she was right, you don't think you could drive out there immediately.
the last time you drove into hard pelting rain, you couldnât see through the windshield and almost crashed your car in the process. you could still remember how your car swerved and screeched when you couldn't control the way the tires' direction.
reluctantly dropping your hands to your side in defeat, "i guess i can wait it out for a bit." you finally say.
"yes, please do stay. we made extra dessert!" mrs. lee chuckles, seemingly enjoying your presence. glancing at minho, he was leaning on the side of the couch watching the exchange between you three, uncharacteristically silent and expression unreadable.
you reckon he wasn't all that thrilled about the whole thing either.
-
"the storm isn't letting up." minho sighs next to you, observing the dark and heavy rain pelting the window. it continues to pour down, filing in the silence.
"great." you mumble lowly, crossing your arms. a loud cackle of thunder makes you jump from your spot. he just laughs in response. you could feel your heart pounding out of your chest, anxiety quietly eating at you. damn weather man. you should've paid more attention to the forecast.
the smart watch on your wrist flashes with a notification. it was 11 pm now. "you should stay until tomorrow, dear."
you feel a comforting hand on your back, it was mrs. lee. it was only her staying with you two right now since grandma had already retired back to her room.
"tomorrow? oh, i- uh... i don't want to intrude." you stutter and look down, unsure how to accept her offer. but as much as you wanted to turn her down, you knew deep down you don't really have a choice in the matter.
another strike of thunder confirms your pitiful situation.
"i know what you're thinking, you can take minho's room." her words take you aback, that really wasn't what you were thinking. but she wasn't serious, was she?
at the mention of his name and apparent lending of his own bed, he whips his head towards his mother. he points to himself silently and gawks in disbelief.
you try to stifle a laugh at his ridiculous face. it wasn't often that you see minho all flustered.
realizing that mrs. lee might actually kick minho out of his room if you don't say anything, you decide to spare him. "that's okay, i'll take the couch."
"are you sure? the couch isn't the most comfortable..."
you reassure her that the couch is fine and not to worry. mrs. lee takes this as a confirmation that you'll stay for the night. she beams and grabs her son's shoulder,
"minho, do you have clothes that you can lend to y/n?" she catches you about to protest at the unnecessary offer, "don't worry about that, you're going to end up uncomfortable if you sleep in your clothes right now."
she leaves not long after with a quick good night to you both, also not leaving any room for any counter arguments. minho nods after registering what she said, hesitantly gesturing you to follow him towards the room at the end of the corridor.
he was quiet these past few hours, you observed. the annoying minho that you have gotten used to was no where to be found. putting yourself in his shoes, you understood. having a person that you dislike come into your home and spend the night would irk you as well.
the unexpected warm lighting and a subtle citrus scent with notes of jasmine and sandalwood welcomed you upon entering. it instantly brings comfort. not really expecting anything coming into his room, it was truly a pleasant surprise.
you stand awkwardly in the middle of his room, not wanting to touch or disrupt any of his space or belongings. he heads straight to his closet near his bed.
"it's alright, uh..."
minho ignores your attempt to refuse and starts digging deep for clothes that he could lend.
okay, nevermind.
you quietly glance at the homey decor that adorns the wall of his bedroom. multiple pictures of what you assume to be his friends were strewn all across the room. some of them seemed to be taken when he was in high school and some more recent. there were doing various funny and serious poses, minho seems to be really well liked.
"alright,"
he starts handing you a pair of black jogging pants and a plain white t-shirt. you reluctantly take the pile of clothes from him, your fingers momentarily brushing. you were certain you could hear your pulse thump in your ears. it confuses you greatly.
"this is the smallest one i have, sorry."
he coughs and rubs his neck, "the bathroom is over there, if you wanna change."
awkwardly shuffling on the way to the bathroom, a sigh of relief leaves your mouth as you lock the door behind. why were you so affected by a simple touch of his fingers? this was minho. you quickly shove the odd feeling down.
you hold the white shirt up to your torso, it was definitely too big. the hem of the shirt reaching your thighs and sleeves reaching your elbows as well.
peeling out of your clothes, and hold up minho's large shirt to finally wear. as you put it on, you could faintly smell the cleanness of detergent and a faint musky patchouli scent. your cheeks burn with the realization that you were really going to spend the night here.
when you return to the empty main corridor, the leather couch was already set up with a cozy looking blanket and multiple plush pillows. you struggle to hide a smile.
-
tossing and turning, you struggle to find a comfortable position on the couch. the blanket proving to be too hot right now, you push it off. you check your phone out of boredom and the led screen lights up.
1:19 am. it was in the middle of the night and the rain continues to pour outside. the occasional rumble of thunder once again evoking anxiety in you. sighing, you don't think you will be getting any sleep tonight. it's just you and your thoughts for now.
thinking back to this afternoon, the whole situation seems so absurd and surreal. who would've thought that you and minho would pretend being friends even if it was just for one night. it was a strange chance of circumstance.
the door from the end of hallway opens, a scruffy and disheveled minho rubs his eyes to get rid of his sleepiness. you sit up in curiosity to observe his sleepy state. he pads over the wooden floors to the kitchen looking for water, not sparing you a second glance.
when he was out of sight, you start thinking of ways to distract yourself, wanting to already succumb to slumber.
âoh, itâs you.â he says after coming back, finally noticing your slumped figure. "didn't sleep yet?" minho ruffles his hair haphazardly, trying to smoothen it down. you shake your head,
"insomnia. it's the thunder."
"ah."
"the couch is making your neck hurt isn't it?"
"yeah, that too."
he opens his mouth to hopefully offer another solution, but shuts it immediately. he wasn't sure if it would make you comfortable so he just stands there quietly.
"i'll go get you more pillows." he places his cup down on the coffee table before going to his room. minho stops in his tracks when he feels your fingers tug on his shirt. another strike of thunder flashes outside making you flinch.
"stay." you catch yourself saying before even realizing. it's selfish to ask but you don't think you could stand the thunder alone. watching him stare into your eyes, as if looking for an explanation- you offer him no words.
minho takes a seat at the end of the couch silently joining you, sipping at his mug. to fill the awkward silence, you clear your throat and fiddle with the ends of the cotton blanket.
you start thinking of ways to justify your selfish request of making him stay.
"i finished that damn paperwork you dumped on me. dick move by the way." you chortled to try to lighten the mood. he seems to notice your attempts to distract yourself and indulge your sudden desire to chat.
he folds his hands on his stomach, grinning. his bunny like teeth poking out. you always thought it was endearing. "it's fun seeing you all grumpy."
"sadist." you simper, the anger you felt from a yesterday dwindling at the surprisingly pleasant banter.
quietness takes over again. he stares into the celling, pondering. "i didn't know you were close with my grandmother." he says after a while. he avoids your gaze and places his mug back on the table.
"neither did i. it wasn't deliberate," you reply. he turns to you, curious about the story. so you explain to him how you met, for how long and that you didn't even recognize him despite seeing the photos.
he chuckles, "i bet it was this pose, wasn't it?" minho imitates the very same pose that he did in the photo, eliciting another laugh from you. it was exactly the same.
minho shuffles a little bit closer to you, now propping his arm on the back of the couch. you straighten up, now being hyperaware of his presence and proximity. he looks really different without his glasses.
a furry tail suddenly brushes against your exposed leg. you lean forward to check what had just rubbed past you, it was one of the cats. it meows for attention, pawing at the base of the couch.
"your cats are really cute." you watch him pick the orange haired feline and place it on his lap. one by one, two of the other cats that you've seen this afternoon start padding over to where you and minho were seated, jumping on the couch.
"that's dori," he points to the gray furred kitty. "doongie," an orange cat with a predominately white underbelly, "and soonie." the last one who's also orange but more so than the other. minho raises soonie's paw, waving it at you. cute.
"this one looks like you."
you scratch soonie's chin, the low purring getting louder the longer you do it. minho stares longingly at your eyes with an unreadable expression at the comment. you're not paying any attention to him.
after a while, the cats start to get tired of the two of you. they walk of to the end of the couch, now ignoring you and minho. you fold your arms and relaxing into the back of the couch, falling into a deep and comfortable silence that would be sorely missed.
"why do you hate me?" you say abruptly. the curiosity finally won, anxiety gnawing at your every fiber of your being. it was finally starting to be peaceful between you two and actually talking like normal people, your sudden comment might've affected it's chances of becoming true.
his head whips towards your direction in what you assume to be disbelief, furrowing his eyebrows. "since when did i hate you?"
you struggle to not scoff at his blatant charade, "minho, you have it out for me." this was strange and ridiculous. was he really being serious? how could he not be aware of the months of months of his incessant attitude towards you, and only you.
you remind yourself to be calm, to be civil. but he continues to feign ignorance. it was starting to get difficult.
"you don't treat me like the others, you constantly make my life harder by teasing me, and you dump your own paperwork on me. only me. the only time you talked to me normally was just a few minutes ago." your voice rising with exasperation.
"what did i do?" voice ultimately faltering, tired.
"i-..." minho refuses to meet your eyes, offering no solace.
instantly feeling vulnerable by your little outburst and by the lack of response on his end, you hug and bury the plush pillow for comfort. you wanted to go home. you wanted to go home and pretend this conversation did not happen. confrontation wasn't your strong suit.
after a long while of silence, he at last utters a low, "i'm so sorry."
"that was very, very stupid of me." minho's eyes are now trained on the hardwood floor, unable to even glance at you.
"what? the paperwork?" you scoff, "no, not just that. all of it."
you furrow your brows at him, "i just find you really really cute when you're mad." he continues. you stare at him, incredulousness and anger painting your features. before you could give him a piece of your mind, he speaks.
"and i realized i didn't know how to actually approach you normally without the teasing." he purses his lips, the cup on the table long forgotten. minho is staring up the celling now, still refusing to look to your direction.
"would you also believe me if i said i was jealous?"
you don't know what to say in return, heavily processing what he just said. what was happening? your mouth runs dry, confusion knocking the wind out of you.
"of your friend." he says, emphasizing the last part. you try to rack your brain of who he was referring to.
"jeongin?" you tilt your head. he says nothing, confirming the assumption. "i overheard him talking to his friends, bragging about how he was gonna take you out to this restaurant that he wants to drag you to." you couldn't possibly think of a reason why he would be jealous, you and jeongin are just friends. and why was he jealous in the first place?
"why are you so worked up about it? he's just a friend, minho."
"i'm not even sure myself," minho shakes his head in exasperation and turns to you. "but i like you, y/n."
standing there, paralyzed at his unexpected confession. minho likes you? he was giving you crap all year round, and yet he likes you? you shoot him a perplexed look, "wait, what?"
"let me get this straight," you hug your legs, trying to decipher what he was saying. "so your plan was to annoy the hell out of me, dump your paperwork seeing that you don't want me hanging out with jeongin because...you like me?"
"well, now it sounds stupid when you put it like that." he huffs, crossing his arms and pouting cutely.
deafening silence falls between you two, unable to say anything meaningful without stuttering and fumbling through your words. you just sat there, not really saying anything and staring at the floor. realizing that you probably don't feel the same, he sighs. its about time he went back to bed too.
"it's late. you should probably get some-"
before you knew it you felt your pulse roaring in your ears, grabbing his wrist and stopping him from standing up. you were going to regret it if you let him go.
"i like you too."
a magnetic pull causes you both to inch closer together, wordlessly gazing into each others eyes. you make the first move to lean into him, slowly placing an experimental peck on the side of his lips. you unsurely place your hands on his chest, "is this okay?"
his eyes flickering down to your lips and then back to your eyes. he licks his lips, still staring intensely- lovingly at you. he softly grins, tucking a lock of hair behind your ears and returns the kiss on your lips.
eyelids fluttering shut, you feel him press against you with much enthusiasm, deepening the kiss. you cup his cheeks as a reply, roughly pulling him towards you.
you already forgot about the rain outside.
he hoists you up his lap, a hand on your waist as he trails desperate kisses on your neck. minho pays his attention back to your lips, sloppy and open mouthed, saliva stringing from your mouths. urgency and eagerness was reflected in the way you both tangle your arms around each other, touching and caressing every part that you could reach.
all of the unresolved tension was slowly slipping away, replaced by desire.
a sudden meow breaks the two of you out of your trance. the green eyes of soonie stares up at the two of you, sitting quietly and their tail swishing side to side.
you loosen your arms around his neck, you two bursting out in laughter at the interruption.
"do you want to maybe take this to my room?" minho asks, placing a thumb on your lips. you didn't need to think twice.
-
your head hit his plush pillow, the cold and crisp linen feeling heavenly against your hot and flushed skin. shuffling up to the headboard, you watch minho with hazy eyes as he inches towards your form and props his knee on the edge of the bed.
he smirks as he sinks down on the mattress, hovering over your feverish body. minho sneaks a hand behind your back, grabbing you by the hips and flipping you over so effortlessly to the top as if you weighed nothing.
"now, where were we?" he murmurs into the column of your neck, his hot breath sending tingling and electrifying shivers down your spine. you respond by trailing your hands all over his clothed chest, wanting to get the offending article of clothing off.
he chuckles and grabs your wrists, halting you from doing so. minho kisses the inside of your wrist, a teasing smile dawns on his face. you look at him with desperate, pleading eyes, wanting to have him already.
minho adjusts his tight hold on you, biting his plush lips in anticipation. with you now towering over his figure, you lean down to capture the lips that you had been fantasizing about all evening and bury your hands into his hair. the kiss was wet and messy, your tongues sloppily and desperately swallowing each other's moans. a trail of saliva strings from both of your lips.
it was starting to get too hot for your liking. you cease your movements for a second to remove minhoâs borrowed shirt from your body. minhoâs eyes shamelessly rake over your chest, his finger leisurely trailing the middle of your breasts. you let out a low chuckle, finally unclasping the hook of your bra. you release a breathy shudder upon feeling something hard poking you from where you sat. grabbing both of his wrists, you eagerly put them up to your tits, you could feel your sensitive nipples harden because of his cold touch. minho starts pinching at the sensitive buds, prolonging his eye contact with you, clearly enjoying your erratic squirming.
you suck in a sharp breath and almost topple over him in pleasure as he takes a nipple into his mouth, hot, warm, and wet. it was overwhelming, having no one touch you like this before. he continues to lap at your hardening bud. minho groans, closing his eyes and further burying his head in your chest. your tits were covered in spit, glistening under the subtle light of his night lamp.
minho, while smothering himself in your chest, takes a moment to hook his arm over you. his skillful hands trail over to the waistband of your jogging pants and pulls it down. you oblige, leaning closer to him and lifting your hips so he wouldnât have to leave your tits. you jump in surprise once you feel a light teasing smack on your now semi exposed ass, only covered by thin panties. it elicits a small moan from you, pulling his head closer. you lightly pet his head and thread your hands in his hair affectionately as he continues his sucking, feeling a coiling sensation from your core.Â
but before you could cum, he detaches from your breasts, leaving his lips glistening with his own spit and his breath raggedy. a sly grin that you have come to love and hate graces his face upon seeing you whimper. the lack of stimulation makes you deflate, heaving frustratedly at his relentless teasing.
the familiar throbbing heat from your pussy suddenly gives you an idea. his hungry gaze watches you in curiosity. the bulge you were currently sitting on now immediately taking all of your attention. you do an experimental hump on it, hoping to relieve the aching heat from your cunt. minho's hands fly to your hips, groaning at the sensation.
"all this time, you made me think that you hated me-" you moan out, the fabric of his pants providing just the right amount of resistance. "when really you liked me?"
he stifles his moans by biting his bottom lip, his pants surely soaked through now.
"i did say i liked seeing you mad." minho manages to grunt out, licking his lips. you almost reel in disbelief but you keep your composure.Â
"you're confusing." another thrust.Â
"and i'm still mad at you." you huff out. hips now wildly humping against every ridge and curve of his cock. the sight of him makes you delirious, even more so that youâre humping against him.
"i-i'll make it up to you," he murmurs lowly, hissing the more times you buck up against him. "fu-fuck..."
despite the way that you were using him, it does nothing to quell the horniness you were feeling, in fact, it even spurs you on further. the wet patch from your panties soak and slowly transfer on to the front of his pants, your own wetness spreading messily every time you grind on his delicious dick, the ridges providing the needed friction that you've been so desperately craving. minho watches you, your tits bouncing up and down- he feels like drooling. "i love it when you use me." he finally breathes out, hands still on your hips, his nails making crescents on your skin. and finally, you cum, his words sending you over the edge.
it tremors through your body, white hot cum leaks out from your panties and you canât seem to hold yourself up any longer, collapsing on his broad chest. you clench your eyes shut in shyness, suddenly embarrassed from using minho so blatantly. he coos and pats your head in comfort, almost like how he pets his cats.
planning to make it up to him and eat his words, you sit up and shuffle down his hips. you admire the wet patch that stains his front, mouth watering. this surprises him, watching you with tantalizing eyes. you make a move to grab at his waistband, pulling it down slowly. he hisses out in pleasure as the waistband runs over his still clothed dick. minhoâs boxers were thoroughly wet, you could see a dark patch on the front where you sat on him and where precum leaked out. you lift up a hand to experimentally give his bulge a tight little squeeze, him letting out a little shudder response.
it hardens even more under your touch- so you decide to tease him to test the waters even further, running your fingers over and over his tent causing him to hiss out, sending you a warning look. taking this as a sign, you lift the waistband of his boxers and stare at his eyes while doing so. it springs up immediately after freeing it from its confines. his long and fat cock stands tall, the tip a deep red, and the veins prominently running along the sides. the sight makes your mouth water in anticipation. you place a thumb on his cockhead, running slow circles on his slit causing it to drool heavily on your hand.
his cat like mouth parts in ecstasy once you start teasing the underside of his length with your hand and licking the oozing liquid up. minhoâs hips start thrusting at the sensation, forcing you to hold him down. it was admittedly hard to do so, his thick thighs almost the size of your head but you still managed to restrain him from rutting wildly. the groan that leaves his lips sound is absolutely nothing short of sinful when you finally put your mouth on him. every desperate huff from him leaves you light headed, wishing you could record and replay it over and over again. when couldnât fit all of him, you resorted to pumping the remaining of the shaft were you couldnât reach. you egg him on even further by running a hand over his abs, seeing how his thighs and abdomen tense up.Â
you look up through your lashes to watch minho unravel. his eyes were screwed shut, focusing on the stimulation. while it bobs messily in your mouth, you try to pay special attention to his hot and heavy balls, rubbing it back and forth in the palm of your hand, hoping to get him to cum. minho closes his eyes shut again and tenses his thighs, finally cumming. his hands travel down to grasp at his length, taking it over yours, spurting his essence everywhere. minho finishes with a loud relieved groan, slapping his dick lazily against your cheek which you greedily lapped at.Â
âthat might be the best head iâve ever had, bunny.â he bites his lips, his voice light and airy. you quickly sit up from your position and gawked at him, suddenly feeling bashful at his apparent pet name for you.Â
minho gives you a mischievous cat like grin in return, feeling absolutely delighted at your expression. he begins to lightly graze your leg, leaving tentative touches and gentle pecks along the stretch of your lower limb. lifting your right leg up, you stop minho from inching any closer towards you by putting your foot on his chest.
"y/n..."
you pretend to think for a moment, stretching this out for as long as possible. he would just have to wait since he had yet to make up for being so mean to you. a little fun also wouldnât hurt, right? no, you were quite wrong.Â
minho again grabs your ankle albeit more roughly this time and continues to place chaste kisses with more passion this time, clearly adamant about giving your legs and thighs hickeys. at long last, minho slides the wet and abused fabric off you, the panty is thoroughly soaked and itâs material sticking and clinging to your core.
he hooks ur leg over his shoulder, urging to part your legs apart and spreading them obscenely open. staring intensely into your eyes, minho starts teasing your core with feather light touches. âyou like this?â he says his mischievous grin, continuing his ministrations. you offer him no response as he traces figures and shapes on your wet pussy that has you seeing stars. his fingers now erratically sliding up and down your folds. you almost sob at his nonchalant teasing, eyes clenching shut and begging him to put something in.
something about observing his veiny hand treading lightly just the outside of your lower lips leads you to tuck your face into your hands, the sight was like straight out of porn. âno, no. hands up bunny.â minho takes a hold of your wrists, putting them effortlessly above your head.Â
âyou have to look.â
his free hand drags along your legs to pull them apart and starts lowering his chiseled face down to your core. his nose just close enough to feel the small exhaling puffs of hot air on your pussy, causing it to twitch in suspense. the brunette sneaks a peak at your trembling figure before diving right in, the first contact of his tongue on your cunt was searing hot, instantly making jolt out in shock and cry out. minho takes this as a sign to hold down your hips, pressing, flattening, and letting his tongue rampant against you all while avoiding your clit. he hums at the taste, huffing and delving further into your pussy, eating you out with such intensity, placing open mouthed sloppy kisses. he spits to make your pussy wetter so he could languidly and erratically make out with your cunt.Â
you throw your head back into the heaps of pillows behind you as he starts to pay attention to your clit, softly biting the bundle of nerves. minho then moves to swipe his index up at the large amount of cum and spit trickling from your core, using it as lube for his fingers. he gently prods his index in your entrance all while still licking you up. his long fingers, deliciously stretching your hole, deeper than all those nights you've tried to do so yourself. the bliss you were feeling was overwhelming. minho croaks out a little âhah, hah, hahâŠâ every time he would come up for breath, completely drunk off your musky and intoxicating scent. you also donât miss how he subtly humps the bed sheets he was lying under either. you began to arch your back upon hearing his desperate sounds, your arousal spurting on his face.  Â
minho looks like a cat who got the cream, his pupils blown wide open and wetness trickling down the side of his mouth. he lets go of your hands after you were finished, the numb arm falling on your forehead as you catch your breath. he stands up to re-adjust your form on the bed, pulling you closer to his pelvis.
minho stares at your eyes, asking silently for permission. you look up at him with a toothy- fucked out grin.Â
the feelings that you couldn't place earlier was now clear, you wanted him.
minho reaches a hand over your face, caressing your flushed cheeks. he wordlessly leans to tenderly place a kiss onto your forehead and on your lips. you reciprocate lovingly, capturing his lips once again. minho without warning, pushes his long and girthy dick into you, the abrupt intrusion making you sob out. the bulbous head of his cock rubs deliciously against your gummy walls, you swore you could feel it in your throat.
âthere we go. there we goâŠâ
minho sets a rough pace, his hips thrusting against your pelvic bone. âah-ah!â
toned and skillful arms cage you in, forcing you to look deep into his dark pools. "you better keep quiet, or else the whole house will hear you." that for some reason makes your cunt even wetter, weeping more than you thought was possible. the sole idea of getting caught with their precious son doing such lewd acts, it seems sacrilegious and absolutely sinful.
he once again reaches for your hardened nipple, tweaking and pinching the bud between his thumb and index. the bed was now creaking with how fast minho was going, you silently prayed that no one in the house suspects anything. the thought mortifies you.
minho leans against your figure and nuzzles up on your chest, looking up at you with an oh so innocent grin while he continues to pound your cunt. his movements start to stutter once he feels your walls clench around him. your mind begins to feel like mush but you still try to make an effort to suppress your groans of pleasure. a strangled sound between a moan and a whine leaves your throat once he hits that one particular spot in you.
âkeep quiet, little kitty.â
you start squirming uncontrollably at the huskiness of his voice, not having experienced an intense orgasm like this before. âcum, you can do it.â your rutting hips stop to convulse for a moment, feeling your orgasm rip through the ends of your nerves. leaning back on his chest, you struggle to catch your breath, heaving from the aftermath of your orgasm.
fogginess still clouding your vision, you caught a small glimpse of minho to notice that he still hadnât pulled out, his hands circling your waist gently. you unintentionally clench on his cock, yep he was still hard, very hard. minho sets his eyes on you, and gives you that look. oh no, you knew that look. the same one that he uses around the office to persuade a higher up to heed to his request. you nibble on your lower lip in excitement.
âone more, you can do one more right?â he coos, lifting your legs and his hips starting his monstrous once pace again. you double over in overstimulation, crying out in pleasure. his breath hitches after a particularly hard thrust, choosing to muffle his own cries by shoving his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your exhilarating scent. you respond by coyly playing with the hair on his nape, hoping that it would ground you to reality.
minho then sneaks a hand from below you and hugs your figure, pulling you impossibly closer. he swallows your moans, kissing you feverishly and running his hands wildly all throughout. it was so urgent, so intense, like heâs finding a way to meld your bodies together, his erratic and messy thrusts reflecting that.
your fingers clutch his thick bed sheets, euphoria piercing your body every time he drives another rough thrust into you. the lewd noises coming from the two of you echos and bounces off the walls, the conversation tomorrow morning was going to be so humiliating and awkward at the dining table.  Â
you canât hold it in any longer, and by the looks of it, neither can he. minho cums with a loud groan, spurting inside you. "goooood kitty." minho rasps out. you gape at the warmness, causing you to finish as well. minho reaches his hand downwards to spread your combined release, spreading it messily. it drips out of you obscenely as he pulls out.
you were positively flushed. he was too, sweat still glistening on the wide expanse of his chest and forehead. minho brushes your hair back affectionately before plopping down tiredly next to you. you turn to him, wanting to admire his fucked out features but he looks occupied and staring into space.
âwhat's the matter?âÂ
"i really am sorry about the misunderstanding. i feel terrible that i made you feel like that. and i do really like you. wasn't lying about that." minho sighs out, closing his eyes for a moment and then faces you. âi want to start over, properly this time.â
"apology accepted. and yeah of course." you say, quite happy with how this whole misunderstanding turned out. "i really like you too." he kisses the top of your head, making you wrap an arm around him to cuddle.
"now you'll just have to figure out how to reject the girl beside your desk. she wants to ask you out."
"maybe we can start by just making out in front of her."
#stray kids smut#skz smut#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#skz scenarios#stray kids hard thoughts#lee know#lee know x reader#lee know smut#lee minho x reader#stray kids x you#stray kids angst#skz fluff#skz angst
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âsugar rush.
pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader
genre: angst, fluff, pining, non-idol au, best friendâs brother au
word count: 7.4k
summary: hyunjinâs heart had been broken by you more than once, and still, he refused to let you go through your own heartbreak alone.
warnings: many mentions of heartbreak, break up, breakdown, and a small mention of weight loss (because of heartbreak).
authorâs note: sheâs here! tbh i didnât plan for it to be this long, i wanted to lightly mention hyunjinâs past heartbreaks but once i started writing i couldnât stop lol. i hope this gives you guys some more insight on their story and feelings. if anyone casually comes across this one shot, it is part four of my social media au âheart outâ. i hope you all enjoy! donât forget to reblog and/or leave a comment if you do<3
The first time Hyunjin saw you, he was only seventeen.
Yeji was in her second year of university and was still living at their family home. She would often tell them about her best friend she made back in first year, and she mustâve shown them one or two pictures at some point, yet for some reason Hyunjin never really got interested enough to actually pay attention â being too busy trying to achieve good grades in the classes he was struggling with the most. After all, after that year he would only have one more to make it to a good university and live up to his parentsâ expectations, since his older sister had made it to one of the best universities in Seoul and they were expecting just the same from him.
So, when Yeji called their mother one day and asked if her best friend could stay with them that weekend since she wasnât from Seoul and was having a few issues with her dorm, Hyunjin didnât think much of it. If anything, he had rolled his eyes over the thought of having to hide in his room and not being able to raid the kitchen whenever he wanted, not to run into his sisterâs stranger friend.
But then you crossed the door later that night, with a shy smile curving up your lips as you introduced yourself to all three of them and thanked them for allowing you to stay the weekend, and suddenly he felt like wanting to raid the kitchen every five minutes that weekend, just in hopes of running into you and getting a glimpse of your face.
One look at you was all it took for him to get the biggest crush on someone yet, and one single weekend into meeting you was all it took for him to know that the immediate infatuation he felt towards you would only grow from then on.
Now, being only three months away from turning twenty four, he could only give his seventeen year old self a pat on the shoulder because of how well he had judged the future of his feelings for you. That, and to comfort his younger self as well, because, God, nothing could have prepared him for what was about to come his way.
Six years had passed in the blink of an eye since then, and here he was, still loving you from the sidelines.
And in those six years of loving you, he had experienced heartbreak three times. All three of them, by you.
You, who didnât even know he had feelings for you.
You, who didnât see him as anything other than Yejiâs little brother â not to say your little brother.
You, who had grown closer to him at one point, only to pull away when you fell for someone else.
Hyunjin wasnât stupid, he knew how the world and feelings worked. He knew a twenty year old wouldnât fall for a seventeen year old who was in his second to last year of high school â at least not a sane one, and you were very much sane, he found out right away.
Then again, although not stupid, he was still naive. Which is why he believed everything would change when he turned nineteen and became legal.
He spent his last two years of high school focusing on his studies, not even looking at his classmates or at any other girl at school.
He would only see you from time to time, whenever Yeji invited you over, which wasnât that often given the two of you would much rather hang out alone at your dorm. Most of the news he got from you were because he asked Yeji about you, or, if he was lucky enough, because his parents asked about you when he just happened to be there.
He would also often find himself going through your social media in hopes of you having posted a picture that showed your face. And, sometimes, he would be brave enough to comment on your posts â just casual little comments that would leave him smiling for the rest of the day whenever you replied.
You didnât interact much back then, and he was okay with it. Granted, he wished you talked more, and he really fucking wished he got to see you more often, but he could deal with it, because once he entered university and turned nineteen, everything would change.
But then, by the time he was nineteen, you were about to turn twenty two. He was only starting university, and you were already in your last year of it.
He refused to let go of the small pinch of hope he still had in him, however. He had made it to your and Yejiâs university, after all, and although he didnât choose your same career path, he would use being in the same campus to his advantage.
He started by asking for your help regarding small assignments. Whether they were actually hard or easy as hell, risking looking dumb to you, he would reach out and ask for your help. Getting a simple explanation that wouldnât take you longer than two minutes would make his entire day. You never judged him when it came to âdumb questionsâ, and sometimes, if he was lucky enough and you had some time in your hands, you would take him for coffee â the intention being to properly help him out with his assignments, yet most of the time it would turn out in the two of you just hanging out and having a good time together.
Then, deciding the few times you got to hang out at a cafĂ© werenât enough, Hyunjin became more straightforward. He realised there were days you would stay at the library while Yeji went home, as she found studying at home to be more productive, unlike you, and it so conveniently aligned with the days his schedule ended the latest. He used to despise that one last class with a passion, until he found out you were at campus alone by then. So, he took it upon himself to text you as soon as the class ended, asking if you were done and offering to walk you to your dorm.
At first you hesitated, not wanting to take up even more of his commute time, since you lived on campus and he didnât, but after a couple of times it became your thing, to the point Hyunjin wouldnât even text you beforehand anymore and would straight up head over to the library; whether to pick you up as you were already placing your books inside your bag, or to sit down next to you and do whatever âmainly staring at you without you noticingâ while he waited for you to be done.
Sometimes he would have lunch with you and Yeji. It wasnât very usual, since he did have his own group of friends, but there were times when he felt like spending some extra time with you, and his sister being there was a good excuse to do so without seeming too clingy.
Some days you would text back and forth. Some others you would text him something that reminded you of him and vice versa. And some others you wouldnât text at all, but he would find a way to see you.
Before he knew it, Hyunjin grew used to talking to you every single day. And he was okay with it, because by then it had already become natural and you seemed to enjoy his company just as much as he enjoyed yours.
He didnât get into the same university as you and Yeji just to be with you, of course, but fuck, was he over the moon now that he had multiple excuses to hang out with you.
He wanted to believe that you were at least beginning to move past the innocent image you had of him â the one of him being Yejiâs little brother, and therefore needing protection. He made himself believe that deep down you were starting to feel something for him, even if you didnât notice. And he was willing to make you notice.
But then the second semester came, and halfway through it he felt you slip away.
Hyunjin didnât know when or why you stopped hanging out, but he hardly got to see you anymore.
He didnât think much of it at first. Your schedules were very different now, and he thought that was the reason. You were on your last semester and your times just didnât coincide like they used to. Simple as that.
You still helped him out whenever he came to you with questions regarding one of his classes, you still smiled ever so sweetly whenever you saw him, you still reached out to check up on him.
But you wouldnât wait for him to walk you home anymore, and you wouldnât really text that much either â your conversations going from texting each other the most random of things throughout the day, to you only answering his questions regarding his classes, which, to be honest, were only Hyunjinâs miserable attempts to initiate small talk. You just didnât seem to check your chats anymore, which he found to be quite odd considering that, whenever he saw you, you would be staring at your phone with the biggest of smiles as you typed away.
It wasnât until Yeji slipped up one evening, when their parents asked about you at dinner, that he found out the reason behind your sudden distance from him and the giddy smiles youâd get by looking at your phone.
âI havenât seen Y/N around in a while,â their mother brought up. âHowâs she been?â
âOh, sheâs doing well. Just⊠a bit busy, I guessâ Yeji replied, taking a small bite of her food.
âYou should invite her over for dinner this weekendâ their dad proposed this time. âWe were thinking of having a barbecueâ.
âI think sheâs going out with Mingyu on Saturdayâ Yeji tilted her head, pensively â completely oblivious to the way Hyunjin had just frozen next to her. âMaybe she could come over on Sunday for lunch? I need to hear all the details about her date after allâ.
Clunk!
Everyone turned to Hyunjin, who remained frozen still, yet the metal spoon he had previously been holding in his hand was now laying on the floor, having slipped from his fingers the moment the word âdateâ had made it past Yejiâs lips.
He quickly picked it up and placed it back on the table. Everyone went back to their previous conversation, like nothing happened. Like his heart didnât feel like every single inch of it was being pierced right through.
You were seeing someone.
He was in love with you. He was finally of age and somewhat in the same stage in life as you. He was doing everything in his power to get closer to you and eventually win you over.
And you were seeing someone.
That night, Hyunjin went to sleep with a heavy chest and a buzzing head. Unable to understand why it hurt so much and why it wouldnât go away.
It was later that month, on new yearâs eve more specifically, that he finally knew what the heavy chest and the annoying pinch in his heart were hinting at.
âY/N isnât coming this year?â He asked his sister when he finally got the courage to, impatiently staring at the clock on the kitchen wall that pointed at the numbers 22:56.
âOh my God, no, I forgot to tell youâ Yeji laughed, placing her drink down on the table. âMingyu asked her to be his girlfriend today. More like last night, but it was already past midnââ
Everything else after that was muffled by the sound of his heart breaking.
The sound inside his chest was so clear to him, so deafening, followed by an ache a hundred times more painful than the one he felt when he found out that you were merely seeing someone, that there wasnât any room for him to ponder what it was that he was feeling.
Heartbreak. It was clear as day.
Agonizing, infernal heartbreak.
That night, it was followed by quiet tears, as he lied alone in bed and welcomed the new year with a broken heart.
-â-â-â-â-â-â-â-âĄ
The second heartbreak came a year and a half later, when he was torn between trying his best to move on and still not letting go of the nearly gone hope of the two of you being together at some point.
You and Yeji were in her room, and he was downstairs helping their mother set up the table for dinner.
He was trying his best to ignore the fact that you were there. He wasnât ignoring you, of course â he could never. But you being there made him unable to focus on anything else, and he needed to focus on literally anything else but you.
Ever since you and Mingyu became official, you hardly ever interacted anymore. All his attempts during his first year of uni seemed pointless by then, long forgotten. He ignored the reason, but he guessed it had to do with you only making time for your boyfriend now. As far as he knew, the only two friends you actually made an effort to keep contact with were Yeji and Chan â all the rest, he had not heard from since a while ago. Then again, it wasnât like you talked that much anymore for him to actually know anything about your life other than the bits heâd get from Yeji whenever she either slipped up in front of him or straight up gushed to him about you.
So, it wasnât hard to understand that heâd be a little uneasy, jumpy even, whenever you visited.
And it wouldnât take a genius either to imagine how much he dreaded the moment his mother asked him to go up to his sisterâs bedroom and call the both of you to go downstairs for dinner.
But orders were orders, and so he made his way to the second floor, dragging his feet all the way up the stairs.
Before he could reach the last stair, however, he heard your voice coming out of Yejiâs room, being followed by his sisterâs laugh as the two of you were now apparently standing in the hallway, about to make your way downstairs before he could tell you to.
He thought of just turning around and heading back into the kitchen, since he could only guess you were heading over there and therefore he didnât need to tell you to anymore, but the words he heard coming from your mouth made him stand still in his place.
âHonestly, I canât believe he took me to his hometown and I met his family already. Theyâre all so nice it felt like a dreamâ you beamed.
âKinda makes you want to become a part of it?â Yeji teased you.
âYeahâŠâ your voice came out rather shy, and Hyunjin could tell you were smiling. âI barely talk to my family and they were so welcoming it made me feel at home. I donât know, Yeji, Iâm so in love with him and meeting his family made me realise how bad I want him to father my childrenâ.
Hyunjin wanted to leave. He didnât want to hear anymore. But his feet betrayed him.
âYeah, letâs get some financial stability before that, shall we?â Yeji chuckled, footsteps sounding closer and closer to him.
âShut upâ you laughed. âNot now of course, but Mingyuâs it for me, Iâm sureâ.
Move. Hwang Hyunjin, leave.
âI guess Iâm waiting for my invitation to your wedding then?â
You donât wanna hear it. Move!
âOh, Iâm definitely marrying him one dayâ you giggled. âAnd youâll be on bridesmaid duty, so if anything youâll be the one helping me with the invitationsâ.
There it was again, the unbearable pain in his chest again.
If he were holding a spoon again, he wouldâve dropped it all the way down the stairs by now. Hell, he felt like he could fall down the stairs anytime by now, as his knees felt like they were about to give up any second.
âOh?â Yejiâs voice brought him back to his senses when it was too late for him to escape â the two of you now right in front of him, as he was blocking the way. âWhat are you doing here?â
âI was just coming up to call you guys downstairsâ he replied in a heartbeat, not sure how he managed to speak without his voice breaking. âDinnerâs readyâ.
Yeji nodded, giving you a quick glance before Hyunjin squeezed against the wall so he could make some room for the two of you to start walking down the stairs.
âArenât you coming?â You asked him, turning around midway, when Yeji was already on the first floor and you realised Hyunjin wasnât moving at all.
âUh, yeahâ he managed to blurt out. âJust⊠need to get something from my room first. Iâll go right downâ.
You nodded, sensing something was wrong, yet not finding it in you to ask him what it was.
This heartbreak was somehow worse than the first one, Hyunjin decided once in his room. First, he couldnât cry and let it out until he fell asleep, managing to keep it from everyone else like he did back then, for his parents, his sister and you were waiting downstairs for him, and he was sure his mum would burst into his room within the next five minutes if he wasnât with them by then. And, second, it felt final. The first heartbreak came when you started dating someone else, but this one was because you decided you had found your person, the very one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, and it wasnât him.
A few hot tears rolled down his face, and he harshly wiped them off before taking a deep breath and making his way back down, not ready at all to face you of all people, yet knowing well enough there was no hiding this time.
The rest of the evening was a blur to him. The only thing he remembered was remaining silent and hardly touching his food, later excusing himself when he felt like he couldnât take it anymore, like he would break down right then and there if he stayed one more second in your presence, and then nothing.
A blur.
Any small glimpse of hope he managed to keep that past year and a half was now gone.
He couldnât afford to be torn between moving on and waiting for you anymore, because you had made your choice, and it wasnât him. It would never be him.
Your heart belonged to Mingyu, and he would have to finally come to terms with it.
-â-â-â-â-â-â-â-âĄ
Two other years had passed since Hyunjin decided to move on from you for good, and still, he was hardly there just yet.
He wanted to believe he was over you. He told everyone âthat being Han and Minho, the only ones who knew he ever had feelings for youâ that he was over you. But deep down, he knew he wasnât.
In those two years, he tried to give relationships a try. Both times, unsuccessful â because no matter how much he progressed, any time he saw you, he would go right back to stage one.
His first girlfriend was Seoyun, a girl he met through a dating app. Not his proudest moment, but he needed to get over you and he needed to get over you fast. His intention was to go for something casual. Just date, date and date, as many people as he could, until he could finally move on from you; but he soon realised that casual flings just werenât for him. If he wanted to stop loving you, he needed to love someone else, and Seoyun seemed like the best candidate for it.
They lasted three months, and although he tried his best, he couldnât fall for her. Not in the way he fell for you. Definitely not in the way you had fallen for Mingyu, who was still getting all your devoted love as you seemed to be happier together by the day.
His second girlfriend was Nara, a girl from his calculus class. This time, she chased after him, and after a while he figured why not give her a chance. His feelings for you werenât lessening any more and neither were yours for Mingyu, so he needed someone to help him get rid of them.
He realised it was unfair to her, but he tried. Just like with Seoyun, he really tried to love her. She was great. She was pretty, she was funny, and she was head over heels for him. She met you outside his family home one day when you and his sister were visiting and you loved her, to the point of proposing a âtriple dateâ, including Chan and Yeji, since they were just then beginning to date. Yeji met her too, of course, and loved her as well.
And yet, he, the one person who so desperately needed to love her, couldnât.
He was actually sure the day you met Nara was the moment he realised it wasnât working out and it would never work out â when you proposed a triple date and he could only think of how fucking much it would hurt to sit there and watch you be all lovey dovey with your boyfriend, while his own girlfriend was right there with him.
They had recently turned five months together when it happened, and that was as much as it lasted.
Hyunjin gave up on dating entirely after that, at least until he could get one hundred percent over you. He couldnât just try and âunsuccessfullyâ force himself to love someone else while he still loved you, for in the end heâd only end up using them for his own benefit, and he hated himself for it.
He could only put his faith in time now. People always said that time heals it all, and he was really counting on it to let go of you.
But then time passed and instead of it healing his heart, it broke yours.
You and Mingyu broke up overnight, and although Hyunjin shouldâve been hopeful, happy even, over the news, he realised his lingering feelings for you were very much alive when, to his own surprise, he felt his heart break for a third time.
He was at Yejiâs that evening â being too bored at his shared place with Han, he decided to annoy his sister for a while and be bored at hers instead.
Hyunjin was looking for a snack in her kitchen, when a knock on the door caught his attention. He wondered whether he should ignore it since Yeji was taking a shower and he most definitely didnât want to deal with strangers right then, but ultimately he walked over to it and looked through the peephole when the knocks became louder, only to see you on the other side of it.
The smile that formed on his face at the simple sight of you was gone the moment he opened the door and took in how miserable you looked.
If that alone told him something was wrong, when you didnât perk up like you always did whenever you saw him and barely even acknowledged him as you made your way inside, he knew you werenât thinking straight right then.
âUm⊠are you okay?â He carefully asked, closing the door behind him as he turned to you.
âIs Yeji home?â You asked instead, voice breaking as you looked around in search of your friend.
Hyunjin nodded. âSheâs taking a shower. Shouldnât take longâ.
You nodded, and although you said nothing, the way your chest heavily moved up and down told him you were hyperventilating.
âY/NâŠâ he called you quietly, almost scared to ask. âAre you okay?â
Again, you said nothing.
âDo you need anything?â He came closer to you.
You shook your head no, blinking rapidly. âYeji. I need Yejiâ.
âOkay, okayâŠâ he said as tenderly as he could. âSheâs coming, justââ
âCan you tell her to hurry up? Iâm justâŠâ you took a deep, shaky breath; one that made him instantly alert over how clear it was you were finding it hard to breathe. He panicked when you grabbed your chest. âOh, God, Iâmââ
âHey, Iâm hereâ he said, grabbing your hands and holding them tight as ever. âWhat happened? Tell me whatâs wrongâ.
He could see it in your eyes that you wanted to tell him, but although you opened your mouth to let him know what was wrong, no sound came out of it and you ended up just closing it again.
You werenât able to speak, so he did it for you.
âDid something happen with Mingyu?â He sounded almost scared to ask.
That seemed to hit the nail on the head.
You looked up at him, and he could only grow worried, infuriated, over all kinds of thoughts that ran through his head the moment your eyes welled up with tears.
âDid he do something to you?!â
Your bottom lip quivered.
The first tear fell.
âHyunieâŠâ
Then you broke down.
Burying your face in his chest, you tugged tightly at his hoodie as you finally let yourself go.
Although stunned and still trying to comprehend the whole situation, Hyunjin didnât hesitate to wrap his arms around you, scared youâd collapse anytime by then.
It wasnât like any other cry heâd heard before.
This was different. Your sobs sounded like you were in excruciating pain, like it was hard to breathe, and your chest trembling against his own with every cry of yours felt like it was being ripped open from the inside.
He could only hold you closer, somehow trying to ground you, but it was of no use.
âItâs okay, itâs okayâŠâ he repeated over and over, almost inaudibly under your sobs.
You tried to speak, either to explain what happened or to simply let it all out, but you couldnât.
You were choking on your own words, and Hyunjin felt his own eyes well up with tears as he hurt for you and felt hopeless as ever, being able to do nothing else but run his hand up and down your back in a poor attempt to soothe you.
When your cries wouldnât stop after a minute, he whispered a small âcome hereâ before he gently guided you towards the sofa. Slowly, not to break away from your hold, he managed to sit both of you down on it.
Your face instinctively moved up from his chest to the crook of his neck, where you hid it as you tried to calm down your sobs â finding comfort in his familiar sweet scent and in the gentle touch of his fingers running through your hair.
âWhat did he do?â He asked when your sobs seemed to quiet down.
You shook your head no, tugging harder at the fabric of his hoodie.
âY/N, pleaseâŠâ he begged, pulling you slightly away, only enough to look into your reddened eyes. âI need to know what he did so I can do something about itâ.
âYou c-can do nothing about it, b-because it was hisâhis choiceâ you sniffled.
âWhat do you mean?â
Your bottom lip trembled, and for a moment there he regretted asking you that. But he needed to know.
Then, you took a deep breath, opening your mouth for a second and then closing it â the words you were about to say being harder to voice out than you expected.
âHe left me,â you spoke in a whisper after a few seconds, and Hyunjin felt his world stop. âHe d-doesnât love me anymore. He loves her. He left me for her, for the one girl Iââ
You choked on your own words once more, being unable to speak over your sobs anymore, and so he just pulled you back to his chest, allowing you to just cry until you let it all out.
He hoped you couldnât feel his blood boiling, because he was seeing red right then.
How dare he break your heart? How fucking dare he leave you for someone else?
He had been wishing to be in Mingyuâs shoes for years now, and he, who had you all to himself in every single way Hyunjin ever wished to, didnât feel like it anymore?
For years he had unsuccessfully been trying to stop loving you because he knew he couldnât have you, and Mingyu, the one who had you, stopped loving you? Just like that? Because of someone else?
Who could even fucking compare to you?!
âWhat happened?!â Yeji bursted into the living room, snapping him out of his thoughts â only a towel covering her poorly dried body and her wet hair leaving a trail of drops behind her. âI heardââ
Hyunjin motioned for her to keep quiet, silently letting her know that he got you and she could go change before coming back to comfort you. It seemed like it would be a long night after all, and neither of them were getting any sleep until you were better.
Many times he had wished Mingyu and you would break up, but not like this. Not with you feeling so worthless and taking the worst part of it.
Not with you feeling the same kind of pain he had felt two times by now, and making him feel it a third time while at it. Because seeing the person he loved with all his being in so much pain, could only break his heart all over again.
-â-â-â-â-â-â-â-âĄ
After that night, Hyunjin felt himself grow protective over you.
So, the moment he read your texts, the very ones that mentioned âMingyuâ, âspammingâ and âlosing itâ in the span of three paragraphs, he knew he was coming to you. Now more than ever, when your two best friends were out of town and he was pretty much the only person left you had.
His mind was filled with the night you broke down in his arms, and heâd be damned if you ever broke down just like that again and he wasnât there to hold you.
He knew what the past few months had been like for you, he had been there through it all. From the weeks you isolated yourself and lost weight due to the lack of appetite you experienced through your slump, to your self-loathing ways and your complete loss of self-confidence when it came to showing yourself to the world and comparing yourself to everyone else. Because one thing was to be broken up with, and a very different one was to be left for someone else.
He, Yeji and Chan had been there for you through it all, trying their best to bring you back up and finally feeling like they were succeeding at it.
He felt nauseous over the simple thought of you crumbling down all over again, all because Mingyu decided it would be appropriate to text you regarding your relationship after he was the one to break your heart in the first place.
Therefore, Hyunjin only felt like he could breathe when you were in front of him, having opened the door not even five seconds after he knocked on it, and you looked okay. Not perfect, as the red shade in your eyes and nose let him know you had indeed cried a few minutes ago, but okay regardless. Better than you were the last time you lost it over your ex.
âYou okay?â He asked tenderly, entering your place when you moved aside to invite him in.
You nodded, closing the door behind you and waiting for him to take off his shoes before guiding him to the living room, where he found a red blanket lying on your couch and the third season of Attack on Titan playing on the TV in front of it â as expected.
âYou really didnât have to come, HyunieâŠâ you mumbled. âTalking on the phone wouldâve done it, I didnât mean to bother youâ.
âWill you just⊠stop saying youâre a bother?â He couldnât help but sound annoyed. âYouâre notâ.
âButââ
âYouâre not a bother, Y/N. I wanted to come here. I want to be here, okay?â
âOkayâŠâ
âSorry, I didnât mean to sound so harsh, I justâŠâ he sighed, coming closer to you. âYou really worried meâ.
âSorââ
âAnd donât you dare say sorry for worrying meâ he warned you with a taunting smirk this time.
The corners of your mouth curved up at that, shaking your head in amusement before you quietly motioned for him to sit down on the couch.
Hyunjin didnât wait to do as told, making the blanket aside so he wouldnât sit on it, and revealing your phone under it for a moment before you took a seat next to him.
âHas he texted you anymore?â He couldnât help but ask.
âNo,â your answer gave him some peace of mind. âI said Iâd block him otherwise, so he hasnât insistedâ.
Hyunjin opened his mouth to say something, but ultimately remained quiet. Still, you had managed to notice and didnât let it slip.
âWhat?â
âNothingâ he shook his head.
âYou were about to say somethingâ.
âI just,â he shrugged. âThought heâd be already blocked by nowâ.
You smiled weakly, grabbing your phone and placing it on your coffee table. âItâs delusional, isnât it?â Your eyes fixed back on him. âI told him the only reason I havenât blocked him is because we both work for the same company, but honestly I just havenât been able to bring myself to do itâ.
âItâs not delusionalâŠâ he fidgeted with the ends of your blanket. âIt hasnât been that long since you guys broke up after allâ.
âI know⊠but given the way he left me and how Iâve seen him and Hayun together at work multiple times, I feel like I should hate him, or at least not love him anymoreâ.
âOhâŠâ he lowered his head, hurting at the idea of you still loving your ex. âSo youâre stillâŠâ
âIâm trying not to,â you confessed â just like Hyunjin, refusing to say it out loud. âItâs just hard, but Iâll get there at some pointâ.
He nodded. âI can only imagine how hard must it beâŠâ
âWas it hard for you?â
âHuh?â
âWith Nara,â you clarified. âGetting over herâŠâ
âOh,â he bit his lip. âNot reallyâŠâ
âIt wasnât?â You tilted your head in surprise.
He shrugged. âWe only lasted five monthsâŠâ
âWhich is a lot?!â
He smiled bittersweetly. Sure, maybe to some people it was a lot, but it was nothing compared to the six years he had been in love with you.
Your question was being asked about the wrong person, because getting over Nara wasnât hard at all, given the fact that he was never in love with her to begin with. Getting over you, however? Fuck, there was nothing harder than that.
He could only hope and pray that wouldnât be the case for you with Mingyu.
âWe ended it on good termsâ he let you know. âWe just werenât working out. It was for the best, so there wasnât much grieving, if Iâm honestâ.
âHmâŠâ you quietly lamented, staring down at your lap. âI mean, Iâm glad you didnât have a hard time moving on from her, but I guess I canât ask you for tips on how to move on from someone nowâ.
He laughed under his breath. Honestly, he sucked at moving on. He was the last person you should come to for advice.
âI guess not⊠sorryâ he apologized. âTimeâs supposed to heal it all, thoughâ.
Didnât work for him so far, but he knew it was the case for most people. Hopefully it would be the case for you.
You chuckled. âYeah, so Iâve heard. I would just like to speed the processâ.
âYouâll get there eventually, donât push yourself too hardâ he offered a comforting smile. âIâm sure going zero contact and blocking him would help, thoughâ.
This time, you couldnât hold back a throaty laugh that had him quietly joining you right after. âYou really hate his ass, donât you?â
âIâm just sayingâŠâ he shrugged once again, trying to act nonchalant, yet failing miserably at erasing the smile curving up his lips. âWhat happened today wouldnât have happened if he was blockedâ.
âThatâs a good pointâ you agreed.
âWhat did he even text you for again?â
You sighed, running a hand through your hair. âHe just wanted to check up on me, or so he saidâ.
Hyunjin shook his head in disappointment. âSounds to me like he just wants to keep you in lineâ.
âWhat do you mean?â Your eyebrows furrowed.
âWhy text you the day before your anniversary? Why now?â He wondered. âItâs like he wants you to think about it and dwell on it. Like he wanted you to be upset so he could comfort you about itâ.
You remained silent for a few seconds, carefully taking in his words.
âI want to believe he isnât that much of an assholeâŠâ
Hyunjin snorted, shaking his head once again, but this time in amusement. âHeâs proved himself to be one more than once by nowâ.
âYeah, I knowâŠâ you mumbled. âI just donât get why heâd want to keep me in line now that heâs with her. I mean, he literally left me for her, and sheâs so fucking pretty, IâŠâ
âYouâre prettierâ.
Your eyes shot up to meet his, and he caught a small sparkle appearing in them before you shook it off and decided to joke about it. âYeji really trained you well for this weekend, huh?â
âNo, I mean itâ.
âYou havenât even seen Hayunâ.
âI have, though?â His eyebrows furrowed. He was there when youâd cry and show Yeji pictures of the girl Mingyu left you for, feeling his blood boil while at it. âSheâs got nothing on you, youâre way prettier than herâ.
âHyunjinâŠâ
âIâm serious, Y/Nâ he stood his ground. âIt sucks that you feel inferior to her just because sheâs with him, because honestly youâre a thousand times better. And considering she literally came in between your relationship with Mingyu, sheâs ugly and unattractive as hell on the inside while youâre beautiful inside and out, soâŠâ
To say you were speechless was an understatement. He was speechless as well, not having planned to go off like that, yet being unable to hear you bring yourself down once again when you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
For a moment there, he feared his feelings for you had been left out in the open for you to realise.
He was lucky you were dense as a brick and still somewhat emotionally unavailable to even think something of it.
âWow, umâŠâ you brought your hands up to cup your face, suddenly feeling hot. âMy cheeks are burning, so I guess thatâs enough break up talk for nowâ.
Although you were avoiding the topic, Hyunjin smiled, lowering his head to hold back a small giggle that threatened to come out of his mouth. He made you feel flustered, that was enough for him to be on cloud nine.
You stood up almost in a rush, looking for the remote before placing it on his lap for him to grab. âWhy donât you look for the summer camp arc while I go make us some tea instead?â
âAre you sure you want to switch to Haikyuu when Leviâs about to get more screen time?â He teased, knowing well enough that you, just like his sister, were a Levi girl.
Snorting at his remark, you motioned for him to go on with your previous order. âI have so many edits of my man saved, I can just look at him wheneverâ.
Hyunjin chuckled, shaking his head amusedly as he complied with your wishes and exited Attack on Titan to look for Haikyuu instead.
âPlus, Haikyuuâs got Kenma in it, soâŠâ
âHeâs a high school studentâ he pointed out.
âAre you calling me a cradle-snatcher?â You raised a questioning eyebrow.
This time, Hyunjin couldnât hold back a giggle, finding the way your voice turned a pitch higher in offense to be a little too cute. âYour words, not mineâ.
âMind you, heâs a â95 linerâ you pointed out, only managing to make him laugh harder. âHeâs even older than me!â
âI didnât even say anythingâ Hyunjin held both his hands up in defense, failing once more at trying to erase his smile.
God, you looked so cute right then, he couldnât even be mad over the fact that you didnât seem to fall for younger guys when it came to fiction either.
âWe can skip on the tea if you want, so you can see your man soonerâ he taunted, pressing play on the second season before you could leave the room.
Jaw dropping in both amusement and offense, you squinted your eyes at him. âYou know, I was bringing you those cookies you love so much with it, but Iâm not anymoreâ.
âThe chocolate chip ones you make?â His head snapped back towards you.
âMhm⊠I made a whole batch yesterdayâ you nodded, not missing the way his eyes lit up with excitement. âBut you donât deserve them anymoreâ.
âYouâre not seriousâ.
âOh, but I amâ you smiled cynically, turning your back to him as you made your way to the kitchen. âJust stay there, I wonât take longâ.
âNo way, Iâm coming with youâ he stated, already following hot on your heels. âThose are my favourites, Iâm not leaving until Iâve tried themâ.
You chuckled, feeling him stand behind you while you turned on the kettle. âI guess Iâve got no choice then, because I donât have a spare bed for you to sleep onâ.
âI can always just crash on your couch, but I would appreciate not having to and getting to try your cookies insteadâ.
You laughed wholeheartedly, gently shoving him towards the cabinet. âJust go grab a plate, you dorkâ.
Doing as told, he couldnât help but steal a glance at you and feel his heart finally be at ease, now that a genuine smile was plastered on your face and your eyes were no longer reddened and tired like they were when he just arrived, but smiling and playful instead. All thanks to him.
And one hour later, when your red blanket was being shared and covering your legs as the two of you sat down on your sofa, and your head was hovering over his shoulder and lightly tapping on it every five seconds, given you were miserably fighting against dozing off while looking at the TV, Hyunjin wished he hadnât tried your cookies at all, so heâd have an excuse to keep his threatening words and not leave until he did.
He hoped you wouldnât bring up how late it was and make him leave just yet.
He hoped you would just fall asleep on his shoulder and let him enjoy your closeness for a little bit.
Most of all, he hoped one day he would be able to come over late at night âor at any given hourâ just because, not only because you needed him to and because his sister wasnât in Seoul; and you would deliberately rest your head on his shoulder when you felt your eyelids become too heavy, and he wouldnât have to wake you up once it got too late and it was time for him to leave, because he wouldnât have to leave.
But for now, he would let you sleep for as long as he could without falling asleep as well, which wouldnât be hard, considering he didnât feel a single pinch of sleepiness as he rejoiced in the coincidental warmth of your body against his.
And if you happened to realise how wide awake he was once you woke up, he would blame it all on the sugar rush he got from all the cookies he munched on while being too immersed in the series.
Using yet another small excuse to be close to you wouldnât hurt.
tag list: @jehhskz @iknowyouknowminho @doohnut @saintcosette @lailac13 @kayleefriedchicken @rikibun @yongbokkiesworld @seungzsmin @beautifulcolorgarden @hyunetopia @velvetmoonlght @automaticpersonabatpaper @httpdwaekki @brinnalaine @wondering-out-loud @feelikecinderella @nujeskz @amarecerasus @liknws @nhyunn @midsoulz @tirena1 @tinyelfperson @thatonexcgirl @iovecb97 @hynier @phenomenalgirl9 @your-favorite-pirate @jin-from-the-block @yearofthetiger25 @quokkacidal @stayconnecteed @kwanisms @yoonguurt @143hyunes @iiriam @curlytxe @hyunlvrs @allyrarara @machaandlofi @mehli-00 @justiceforvillains @minhosprettywife @whats-my-question @armystay89 @jaiuneamesolitaiire @hyeon-yi @skzstannie @onlyhyunjin @shyshyshytwice @nicoleparadas @âbroken-glowsticks @sweetbokji @linavc
#skz#stray kids#hwang hyunjin#skz imagines#stray kids imagines#hyunjin imagines#skz scenarios#stray kids scenarios#hyunjin scenarios#kpop#kpop fanfic#skz fanfic#stray kids fanfic#hyunjin fanfic#skz fake texts#stray kids fake texts#hyunjin fake texts#skz social media au#stray kids social media au#hyunjin social media au#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#hwang hyunjin x reader
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Dad Bakugo x mom reader - I need more children in my life đâđŸ
def calls his kid "squirt" and "buddy"
in mY universe, he has a boy and a girl bc he needs the best of both worlds
CALLS YOU "MA" GOODNIGHT
we all know he wakes up really early, earlier than you even, so he's the one to check on the babies/kids every morning to see if they're ok :)
definitely keeps schedules of you and your kids days like exams, report cards, if they're going to a friend's house, etc
yk how most kids tend to be like "ewwww" whenever their parents kiss?? not ur kids nono. first of all, your son is the quieter one. not that he's not talkative, he just has a little bit of a hard time expressing himself. anyhow, his sister is very loud. but either way, they both think its sweet. your daughter even said something like "i hope my husband kisses me like that" once (when she was an older kid tho lol)
your son goes to talk to you a lot. he adores you so so much. but one day when he wanted to hang out with you, you weren't home. you were busy running errands while katsuki was at home watching tv. your son started crying and katsuki was like wtf?? eventually, your son grew accustomed to speaking to katsuki. as he got older, he actually talked to him more than you.
teaches your son how to be a man :,) katsuki knew he was bitchy in his younger years and he didn't want either of his kids to be like him. he taught them both manners and how to properly have a conversation.
little pitter patter of their feet ran into your guys' shared bedroom on christmas morning and began jumping your bed. katsuki groaned and rubbed his eyes aggressively. "it's christmas, mommy!" your little boy shouted. "wake up daddy!!" your daughter shouted in his ear. "alright alright you rugrats"
at your daughter's kindergarten graduation (idk if everyone had this but i did lmao), katsuki was tearing up and although he tried to hide it, he had to remain the strong one while comforting you while you bawled your eyes out.
p.s your daughter is the oldest
when she brought home her first boyfriend... ooo chile
i see a lot of people writing how katsuki would act up but tbh in his older years, i think he'd be a lot more mature. he'd greet the dude politely and treat him like he would any of her friends
btw lemme just say: your daughter is a mommy AND daddy's girl. she loves u both insanely
honestly while eating dinner with the boyfriend or something, katsuki would be very blunt and not pay too much mind to him LMAOO he'd be like "'tis is great, doll" as if you don't cook dinner every week and it's only when your daughter brings up how he wants to work at katsuki's angency, where he perks up
"oh shit, no kiddin'?" and you smack his arm lightly.
well this changes everything! he practically gave the kid his blessing. "welcome to the family son"
your son doesn't really care about them together, he just doesn't wanna see his big sis get hurt. lets say that your son is 15 and your daughter is 17. "so, bf/n. have you fucked her?"
you almost spit out your drink like a cartoon. your daughter is shook, katsuki's rage from UA is all coming back to him, and the boyf is scared for his life
you, katsuki, and your daughter have a little talk after dinner
"use condoms" kats stated. "i- WH- nono you can have sex next year." you corrected but ur daughter is like huh?? "wha why next year?" you scoff. "because you'll be a legal adult thats why." "no offense, momma, but that's really dumb. when did you and dad start having sex?" she folded her arms. katsuki shrugged. "like i said, use condoms."
you and your daughter gossip like crazy alr?? ur like the gilmore girls except you're married and didn't get pregnant at 16 (almost)
and this is nothing new to katsuki, he's heard u guys gossip trillions of times. but when he found out you guys talked abouy HIM TOO??
he busts into the room. your daughter squeals and runs behind you. "hi honeyy-" he shushes you, "you guys talkin' shit 'bout me?" "nope" you guys say in unison. "there's this other guy, uh.."
#gonna probably make this a separate thingy where its like one part is when the kids were little and one where they're older#just so its more organized bc this was all over the place#katsuki fluff#katsuki#bakugo#bakugo x reader#dad bakugo#dad bakugou#mom reader#fem reader#mha#mha x reader#đŽđȘđœđŒđŸđŽđČ đ«đȘđŽđŸđ°đžđŸ
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I see you've got a bunch of fankids, do you have any Jessa fankids?
Oh anon, indeed I have! Well, not kids, but one kid!
May I present you - Jecka! Whoever guesses where that name comes from, I'll love you.
Jecka's appearance is more humanoid than most Workers or Disassembly Drones which comes from Tessa's biodata instilled in her code. She's extremely experimental, coming from a Solver User and a former human.
More below the cut!
In my headcanon/Synemy universe, Tessa - despite her Dronebody - still has biological code and DNA inscribed in her own OS, which got inevitable transferred to their child when the uploading process took place.
It took 5 tries to actually get this to work as Tessa's code just was hardly compatible with J's, which strained her alot - even her physical body and being was acting like it rejected the Disassembly Drone. But in the end, the final attempt was actually successful!
Although this experimental hybrid of J & Tessa didn't come with downsides. Jecka's code is very unstable, often resulting in her shutting down involuntarily and having to be rebooted by Uzi to keep her running.
Jecka's daredevil personality appears very brutish on the surface, but similar to Becky (who appears shallow and gossip-y) there's more to her if you know her. She's gotten alot of empathic and extroverted traits from Tessa, is easily exciteable and loves to be around people.
She cares alot for people's well-being, but will put herself first if she needs to. A friend you can rely on and a foe you need to watch out for. Jecka gets along with Becky fairly well but Angel and her sometimes do butt heads. Especially since Angel isn't really fond of Jecka's ability to magnetically draw in conflicts with people she doesn't really like. And Jecka can hold grudges until the end of time, lol. That she got from J.
Like Tessa she has Solver symbols on her body, although more focused on her legs and back (not pictured here). Jecka doesn't mind them and finds them somewhat cool. I mean, it does look cool. BD Can't blame her.
She cannot use the Solver like for example Uzi and Tessa can, but she has the passive abilities of the Disassembly Drones (regeneration, not being affected by the Solver's telepathy etc.)
#murder drones#jecka#my art#sketch#ask#murder drones oc#murder drones fankid#jessa fankid#jessa#ripping royals#serial designation J#drone!tessa#synemy#tessa james elliott#murder drones J#md fandom#murder drones fanart#md oc#md AU#procreate
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hi i love your writing unfortunately there aren't many fics for the iwtv so tysm!!
i was wondering if you could write something about louis lestat and claudia with a (vamp?) reader that accidently timetraveld
Back In My Arms | Lestat x Reader x Louis
à· time traveling accidentally and you're able to relive bittersweet memories.
thank you and I agree, especially the amc version compared to the movie. The other posts are coming, but I had to rush and get this one out because it was so gut wrenching for me đ LOL
âWhat do you think? The blue or the purple,â you held the dresses to your body.
âI prefer your birthday suit,â Lestat said over the classical music, making you roll your eyes at him. Could he ever be serious when you needed him to be?
âLouis,â you called out, wanting a real opinion.
âHm? Oh, the purpleâ he was hardly listening, more focused on the pages of the book.
âSo the blue, got it,â you grumbled, storming away, to finish packing your things.
âMa chĂšrie, why are you leaving again? It truly makes no sense to me why you remain friends with this mortal,â Lestat said.
âI don't see why you care, it's not like either of you will notice Iâm away,â you said, as you closed the bag.
âDon't say that, we do notice,â Louis said, defensively.
âI'll only be away for a night,â you mumbled, checking your appearance in the mirror, and slinging the bag over your shoulder.
âStay, you can give us a more detailed visual representation of the dresses,â Lestat said, straightening his posture when you scoffed.
âSex doesn't fix everythingâ
âIt is a startâ
âAnd maybe that's why weâre in the situation weâre in, now, if you'll excuse me, Iâm going hang with my mortal friend, who communicates with me and doesn't want to block out our problems with Mozart, books, and sex,â you said, storming out of the townhouse, making sure to slam the door.
Getting into your car, you began to drive to your close friend, George, or Georgie, you called him both. He was middle-aged, although he was closing in on becoming elderly. He'd oftentimes been told he resembled Bill Nye, but those comments usually only made him red in the face, before he sent a storm of swear words at the person, in his thick Cajun accent. Divorced and cut out of his kid's lives, he was lonely, but so were you. Georgie was the only mortal to ever know that you were a vampire, and he made you feel normal.
Although having a few questions at first, he eventually let the matter go, and hardly ever brought it up. The two of you had been friends for nearly a decade now, and you planned to hold on until the bitter end. He wasn't too keen on being turned, scorned by his wife leaving him and his children siding with her. Lestat and Louis weren't comfortable with your friendship at all, but after realizing your relationship was completely platonic and you weren't cutting him out of your life, they grungily accepted him.
As you finally parked in front of Georgieâs house, approaching the door, you shook your head, discovering it was unlocked. Letting yourself in, you locked the door, going to where you'd both hang out for hours, his basement.
âYou need to keep your door locked old man, anyone could just walk in here,â you said, going down the stairs. Tossing your bag onto the couch you'd usually sleep on, in the windowless room.
âNobody comes here but you,â he said, making you laugh.
âSo how is it going?â you asked, sitting in a nearby chair.
âA little more progress than last time, how are things at home?â
âLestat isâŠwell Lestat and Louis will always act like our issues aren't there,â you shrugged.
âHave you tried talking to them?â
âOf course, Lestat doesn't take anything seriously enough, and Louis wants to brush over it all,â you said.
âHopefully, this is a success, because then we can fix everything,â Georgie smiled.
âMaybe you, but I don't see my problems being fixedâ
âDon't underestimate science,â he told you.
Georgie had been working on an actual time-machine portal. He believed if he could go back in time, undo his mistakes, could prioritize his family over work, maybe that would stop his wife from having an affair with the neighbor, from leaving him and draining his wallet, and taking his children who he couldn't even get a happy birthday from.
He insisted that you would be able to use it, to repair your companionship. A long time had passed since 1910 and much tragedy and heartbreak happened. Separating from each other and eventually reconnecting, recently everything had been so stagnant and bland. No energy to argue about obvious conflicts, but unwilling to leave each other again and be forced to deal with the pain.
âOh, my goodness,â Georgie stood up, his hand going to his chest. Your eyes widened, worried that he would croak.
âWhat is it?â you asked, you couldn't sense any internal issues, noticing his thoughts were jumping for joy.
âI thinkâŠI think it works,â he said, as he began to type on the nearby computer. The pod he'd spent years building, lit up, the white light faint.
âIt turns on, how will you know if it works for real?â you asked.
âCould you maybe catch a few raccoons, rats, birds, anything, we can try on them,â he asked. Standing up, you went outside, quickly grabbing a rat from near the drainage, bringing it to him.
âDone,â you smiled, holding it firm, tossing it in the pod, as he opened the door. The rat squeaked a bit, running in circles, as Georgie typed.
The machine began to make a noise before the rat burst. Itâs guts splattering on the door.
âEw, what happened?â you asked him, pressing against the door, to look inside in disgust.
âIt seems like it is releasing some sort of radiation, too strong for animals and people, I'll have to keep working on it,â he grumbled disappointedly.
âI could try it if you want,â you offered.
âThe radiation will be damaging-
âIn case you forgot, Iâm hardly human anymore, I am a bit intrigued, the worst thing that could honesty happen is I get burned up, and Iâll heal,â you said, as he faced you.
âAre you sure? I don't want you to feel like you have to do this, Y/n,â he said, but you brushed him off.
âTrust me, I don't, but you've put so much time into this, almost as long as I've known you, I want this to work out for you,â you said.
âOkay, let me get suited up, to clean it first,â he said, changing into the nbc suit to clean the inside of the pod. While waiting for him, you checked your phone, seeing a message from Louis.
âSending a picture of the dress, Iâm sure you look beautiful as alwaysâ
Smiling softly, you set your phone on the counter, taking your shoes off, watching as Georgie scrubbed the blood away. Little did Louis know, you wouldn't be wearing the dress to go hunting tonight. As soon as he finished cleaning, he was back at your side, typing on the monitor.
âWeâll do, let's say 5 minutes into the future, Iâll think of a number and when you come back, tell me the number, and time it to see if there is a significant change in time,â he said, as you nodded in agreement, accepting the small stopwatch, stepping into the pod.
Your arms at your sides, you briefly gave him a thumbs up, hoping to reassure his anxious thoughts. Typing on the computer, the pod began to light up again, the noise leaking out before it started to shake. Standing up, Georgie stood with his eyes wide, his jaw dropping as you vanished.
âOh my Lord, it's working,â he said, his hand shakily went to his mouth.
Back at home, Louis and Lestat were relaxing, leisurely lounging around when it happened. A sudden feeling of dread washed over them as if you were gone. Glancing at each other, both of them stood up, rushing from the house to your friend, George's home. Bursting through the door, they went downstairs.
George looked back, gasping, surprised to see the elder vampires. However, before he could say anything or move, Lestat had him pressed against the wall, his hand around his neck.
âWhat did you do?â
âM-machine,â he choked out, looking over at the pod.
âLestat, look,â Louis said, staring at the pod, fog seeping from the bottom.
âWhat is this?â he continued, looking to George.
âTime machine,â he struggled to say, before Lestat dropped him.
âYou didn't put her into your experiment,â Louis said out loud, shaking his head, already pacing the floor.
âShe offered, and it was only five minutes into the fut-
Suddenly, within the fog, you could be seen, smiling in excitement from the exhilaration of the atoms passing through your body. Your smile quickly faltered, seeing your lovers and a nervous Georgie.
âWhat are you doing here?â you asked.
âGet her out of it, now,â Lestat told Georgie.
âLeave him alone,â you argued.
âThis isn't safe, Y/n, we thought you were gone,â Louis told you.
âDon't parent me, Louisâ
âGet her out of it now, or it will be destroyed,â Lestat said, shoving George into the computer, his hands smashing against the keyboard.
âStop it, Lestat,â you yelled.
âWhat did you do?â George stressed, as the machine lit up. Typing as quickly as possible, he couldn't see the results that he needed.
âY/n, he made me press a few buttons, it is going to the past, I don't know how far, but Iâm going to fix it,â Georgie said apologetic.
âWhat?â Lestat and Louis said at the same time.
âDo not kill him, fucking asshole,â you said before vanishing.
âCan you bring her right back?â Louis asked.
âI don't even know how far it has brought herâ
âWell figure it out,â Lestat snapped.
âThis is your fault, she told me all about you and your ugly ways,â George said. Tilting his head, Lestat was about to reach for him, but Louis grabbed his arm.
âHe has to bring her back to us,â he reminded him.
âShe is going somewhere in the 19th century, I can't pinpoint where and when. Time should be a little longer through the pod, so Iâd estimate a few hours for us if it is a successâ
âFor us?â Louis asked.
âIF it is a success?â Lestat screamed at the same time as him. George truly didn't understand what you saw in the dramatic man, other than his good looks.
âI've been studying this for some time now and with time travel, it could feel like days, or even longer, but in reality, it should only be a few hours, and I say if because we haven't tried going to the past. The pod isn't sustainable for the undead and Y/n getting in was the first actual progress of real-time travel,â he explained.
âMaybe one of us could go in and-
âNo, that is the worst solution, we don't know where she went, so I wouldn't know where to send you and it is only one pod, and overloading the database is the last thing that needs to happen, weâll give it a few hours,â George said, standing.
âWhere are you going?â Lestat asked him.
âHave a glass of wine, if it could take a few hours, Iâm going to relax for a while, you're free to make yourselves comfortable,â he said, stepping out of the NBC suit, before going up the stairs.
âWe just have to wait,â Louis reassured Lestat, who stood staring at the pod, unable to believe this was happening.
As the pod finally stopped shaking, you peered outside at the change of setting. You were outside, Georgie nowhere to be seen. Turning on the stopwatch, you muttered an apology to him, before punching the thick glass and pushing the door open. Immediately, you recognized the familiarly different environment.
Your bare feet touching the dirt, you recognized the small, poorly built houses. You hadn't seen these houses in ages after Katrina wiped the remaining pieces away.
âHey, what are you doing-
âYou saw no one here, and you won't let anyone get near this precious contraption, now go on inside,â you glamoured the man, watching as he went back up the stairs, into the house.
Sighing, you began to leave the area, ignoring the strange stares. From the way everyone dressed, you were somewhere between the first three decades of the 19th century, and you were sticking out like a sore wearing the knee-length sundress. There was only one place you knew to go, to be sure of the date.
Coming to a complete stop in front of your home, you could see the lights on. Taking a deep breath, you reminded yourself that if they were here, this wasn't the same Louis and Lestat you were having issues with, and so you'd have to act accordingly.
Opening the door, you could hear the shuffling of feet and the sound of furniture being torn apart. Furrowing your eyebrows, you went upstairs, surprised to see them in that room. Making eye contact with Louis, he did a double take.
âY/n,â he said, taken away by your beautiful, he hadn't seen a dress made in such a way before, shorter than average, but still classy.
Hearing your name, Lestat opened that lovely pink coffin, climbing out, and tossing the diary to the side.
âMa chĂ©rie, you stopped for shopping?â he asked, a small smirk in place.
âDid you see her?â Louis finally asked. At a loss of words, you struggled to speak for a moment.
âI'm sorry, I'm not feeling like myself, what year is it?â you asked.
â1920, you alright?â Louis asked, approaching you.
âLook who finally decided to crawl home to her coffin and write about her psychosexual behavior,â Lestat spat.
âYou read my diary?â hearing that beloved voice, your eyes began to sting.
âOnly a little bit,â Louis confessed.
âI read all of it and you are a little deviant brat,â Lestat said, as you slowly turned around. The bloody tears began trickling down your cheeks, as you stared into her eyes. She was real, in the flesh, not a figment from your dreams or old photos, but was here in front of you.
âClaudia,â you said, her name flowing from your lips caused you to visibly tremble.
âMama,â she started, concerned, her eyes widening as you rushed over, pulling her into a bone-crushing hug.
Weeping bitterly, you held her close, unwilling to let her slip away this time, whispering sweet words of love to her. Confusedly, she hugged you back, as you both sat on the floor, holding her in your arms.
While the two men were originally set on disciplining their wild daughter, their concern now shifted to you.
âClaudia, you've been reckless-
âThey're buried in Chalmette,â you interrupted, Lestat, your hand comfortingly brushing over her curls.
âHow do you know that?â Louis asked, but you ignored him.
âMy beautiful girl,â you whispered, hugging her one last time tightly, before letting her go.
âAre you okay, mama?â
âI couldn't be better at this moment,â you reassured her, kissing her forehead.
âLet her off this time, please, for me, she's still a child, and there will be a time when we wish we still had our beautiful girl staying here with us,â you said, facing them, seeing your blood-stained face, they were beyond concerned.
âIt's still a little early for bed, perhaps you'd like to play a game of chess?â you asked her, wiping your eyes and accepting her hand, as she stood up.
Going into the living room, Claudia couldn't help but think about how unusually attentive you were being. Sure, she was just as spoiled as other children, but you never stopped her from being disciplined when you all agreed she needed to be.
âClaudia, you know I love you, right?â you asked her, watching as she set up the game.
âYes,â she nodded.
âWithout you, an eternity isn't the same,â you admitted, as Lestat and Louis came downstairs, joining the two of you.
Your lovers watched you intentively, as you played the game with Claudia. Lestat noticed how you were letting her win, purposely moving to the wrong places, as she took your pieces while showering her with praises.
He couldn't put his finger on it, but something about the interaction seemed different. Any other time you played chess with her, you gave her a challenge, expressing where she was improving or where she needed work. This time, you were treating her like a little child, like you hadn't seen her in forever, or would never see her again.
Time flew and after two long rounds, Louis stood, announcing Claudia needed to go to bed. Groaning, she stood, wanting to stay longer, but you shook your head.
âIt's okay, you need your beauty rest, I love you so much, sleep well,â you told her, hugging her firmly once more.
âLove you too,â she mumbled before she was stomping up the stairs.
âAre you sure you are okay, ma chĂ©rie?â Lestat asked, as soon as her bedroom door shut.
âI am, I just, the thought of one day losing her, or being apart hurts my soul, our relationship would probably never be the same,â you said, smiling sadly at him.
âWhy would we never be the same?â
âBecause she's our daughter, and it would take losing her to see how much she is loved, even you, she's so much like you and that's why you clash so much,â you laughed.
âWouldn't that make us stronger?â
âI wish that was the case, but holding onto the past makes you unable to communicate like you're supposed to-
âWhere is all this coming from? Talk to us, what's on your heart?â Louis asked.
âPlease don't question me, but there will be a time when we are so weirdly uninterested in each other, and we try to block out our issues with reading, music, and sex,â you said.
âWhy though?â
âHolding onto the pastâ
âThen you'd have to remind us of what is ahead and not behind,â Lestat said, leaning down, pecking your lips.
Feeling your face burn from the passionate kiss, you looked down, your eyes widening noticing your fingers faded. You have watched enough sci-fi movies with Georgie to know it was time for you to leave.
âI need to make a quick run-
âThe sun will be up in another hour,â Louis told you.
âI know, I won't be long, love you both,â you said, pecking both of their lips, before running out of the house.
As you ran back to the backyard, you were surprised to see the man back outside.
âWhat are you doing?â you asked him, seeing as he sat on the steps, watching the pod.
âI saw some kids run back here, so Iâm just watching this contraption,â he shrugged. Staring at the man, you recognized him, Georgieâs grandfather, but much younger. You had seen the few photos hanging up on the house and you identified the face quickly.
âIf you had advice for a future relative, a son or grandson, what would you tell him?â
âLife gets hard, we make mistakes, and we lose people, but we have to hold onto the better part of things. I get divorced, but I was able to experience a beautiful marriage, same with children, I was fortunate to experience fatherhoodâ
âBeautifully said, go get some rest,â you said, glamouring him, watching as he nodded, going inside.
Carefully stepping over the broken glass, you cautiously stepped inside, shutting the door, as the fog came back, the machine lighting up, before you were gone.
âAnything?â
âYou just asked me that a few minutes ago, please, have some damn patience,â George said to Lestat, who was pestering him about you. The man was trying as hard as he could and Lestat did not care one bit.
Suddenly, the pod lit up, the fog coming back. Typing on the computer the door opened, before you stepped out, your feet dirty.
âI was away 6 hours and 40 minutes, how long has it been?â you asked, tossing Georgie the stopwatch.
â2 long hours, you've been crying,â Louis said, going to pull you into a hug.
âI saw her, our girl, she was perfect,â you said, feeling him stiffen in your arms before his shoulders shuttered from crying.
âWhat was she doing?â he asked.
âShe had gotten in trouble, but I convinced you both to let it go, and we spent time together,â you said, as he smiled, nodding.
âYou told her you loved her?â he asked, hopeful.
âYes,â you nodded, as the hug tightened before he pulled away.
âAnd you told me something, so valuable,â you said, shifting to Lestat.
âOf course I did,â he smirked.
âYou told me to remind you both of what is ahead of us and not our past,â you said, watching as he dabbed his eyes, stopping any tears on his part.
âSounds like something Iâd say, I guess,â he grinned.
âAre you ready to come home? I know you're probably exhausted from all of this?â Louis asked, grabbing your bag when you nodded.
Glancing at Georgie, who stood awkwardly waiting for you to finish with your reunion. Moving away from Lestat, you stood in front of your good friend, before pulling into a hug.
âSomeone dear to you told me some valuable advice I want to share with you,â you smiled.
âOkayâ
âLife gets hard, we make mistakes, and we lose people, but we have to hold onto the better part of things. Our past isn't meant to be changed, but rather we embrace the experience, both good and bad, because it shapes us into who we are. You might not be able to get your marriage back, but you could try to reach out to your children, Georgie,â you said, smiling as he teared up, agreeing with you.
âWe have our own affairs to handle,â Lestat groaned, ready to leave the tiny basement.
âShh,â Louis nudged him before you followed the two out of the house.
âNow that I think about Lestat was more charming back then, but now it's you, Louis,â you said, both of you laughing as Lestat scoffed, going on a rant about his greatness.
You missed Claudia greatly, but you had to keep moving, you all did. You still had an eternity of life, but maybe one day, just maybe, when you're reunited, she'll be where she belongs, back in your arms.
#lestat de lioncourt x reader#lestat x reader#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac x reader#louis x reader#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv
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âââ đ Fic Authors Self-Rec Game
When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics youâve written, then pass it on to at least five other writers! Letâs spread the self-love! àŒàŒàŒàŒ
I love when my presence is acknowledged by @onegirlmanytales. Someone cool knows me, he he.
The âPlugâ | (Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader) (18+)
Man, just like all my fics, I hated writing this one, but it was worth it! Yay! I donât know, it just has such a nice feel to it, mostly because I like the idea of Eddie having a crush on us (me). This was also inspired by some Soundgasm audio, lol, so it has quite a nice bit of horniness to it! Iâm just quite proud of how decently written it is, especially since I usually crash out on writing during the middle and end of my fics, and this one is just pretty damn alright!
The Yearbook: Club Pictures | (Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader)
I felt so wanted and famous during this series, lol! It was my first, too! You guys were just very receptive to the first chapter, which really motivated to continue. And, I know I shouldnât, but I love Eddie being mean to us, then profusely groveling, okay?! Itâs fun, I swear! But, my god, let me tell you, that last chapter in this series was literal HELL ON EARTH to write, I never want to experience that again, I think itâs like 35k words or more, I donât know what I was thinkingâŠ
The One Where Everybody Finds Out | (Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader) (18+)
This one was just actually fun to write! Itâs quite stupid, but I enjoy the stupidity of it. You watch Friends, then this comes along, you know, inevitable. Although, much like all my other fics, I feel as though it could have ended better in terms of the writing. Yâall, Iâm telling you, all my fics start out great, then just get shit! How does one stop that from happening! Itâs like I get summit fever, ugh!
Eddieâs Situationship | (Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader)
Donât know if this counts, given that itâs just a blurbo, not a fic, but suck it, because I LOVE IT! Drug Dealer!Eddie, man, I love it too much. I donât know, something about a scary man liking us (me) is so hot, AH! I just want this to happen to me, okay?! There, thatâs why itâs my favorite, damn it!
Dustin Fucking Henderson | (Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader) (18+)
Listen, Iâm going to be quite honest, I feel strongly mediocre about my fics, okay? Theyâre not anything to die for, like this one. But see, this one, itâs quite precious, because itâs, like, the second oneshot I ever post, and my MOST liked fic ever! Which, with all love, pisses me off, because itâs so POORLY written, lol! Like, if I could (totally wonât), Iâd rewrite this bitch 10x better. I love the plot line! Love the blowjob! Just hate the writing!
Okay, now this is where I shut up. Mothertrucker, just post your favorite fics, okay? Itâs Tumblr. You donât have to be nervous, people have said way worse stuff than being proud of their work! @oneforthemunny @queenimmadolla @m0llygunn @munsonology @madelynraemunson
#me stuff#stranger things#eddie munson#eddie munson recs#eddie munson fic#eddie munson series#eddie munson oneshot#eddie munson blurb#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x y/n
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I really do love Evan and Sam together as a romantic couple because their whole deals are so very opposite but also so similar.
Sam, she's so charming and charismatic, it makes sense that in the first season she ends up dating this jock and she gets along well with him (although I believe Fergus has some dorkiness to him, too, lol). But it's revealed in the second season her self-esteem is very low and she's now hung up on the idea that it isn't her natural charm and kindness, but the fact that she's been using magic which means everyone is fake. She can't trust people's good opinions of her. It's very "you love me at my Sam Black, at my Sam Britian, but can you handle me at Sam Bulter?" what happens when she's not charming, or accommodating, when she has a bad day. There's also a certain degree with Sam seeing herself as nothing but her charms, she doesn't think she's particularly capable or smart outside of her kindness, which is why it's so amazing that Danielle selected the mind track for her to get better in and Sam insisted she just felt a Connection to the magic of knowledge, rather than charm. It's amazing how charming and kind she is, but she doesn't want that to be all she is.
Evan was always so insecure over being so weird, so it makes sense he ended up with K at first, who is also a certified weirdoTM and he gets sort of insecure about where he stands with Jammer because Jammer starts out just so normal. Evan feels threatened at least a bit by Jammer's friends, thinking he can't fit in with them, and he also says the same thing with Sam to a degree being like "Well I wouldn't want to freak out Ariana Grande" (As Sam points out, Ari is also a freak tho so >_> yknow). But during the adventure, sort of like Danielle, Brennan decided to go with the magnetism/charisma stat to increase because he felt like Evan was starting to truly just accept himself. Take him or leave him, that's Evan Kelmp, he's the haunted white guy and his friends love him and you might love him too if the two of you click but he's not gonna be worrying about that all the time to the point he's sick every day. Still, Evan does struggle about being wanted and he's able to communicate that to Sam, you know, blanket invitations don't work for him but she says no, for real, I would spend day after day with you. I'll cook you food, not just a generic invite, please actually come over. And he's so excited about that, it's adorable. That's an aside, anywayy.
I have liked Evan and Sam together since season 1, I always felt that she cared about him not only in the way she generally cares about people but she just, really clicked with Evan in a way that may seem funny to onlookers because of the aforementioned "pretty, popular girl who gets the jocks, befriending straight up haunted weirdo". But, as I outlined above, they have more insecurity in common because both of them understand why people like them when they're useful/kind/etc but doubt if people will truly love the real them, or them when they're going through tough moments.
And over the course of S2 it was sooo clear that Brennan meant for Evan to be crushing on Sam. He loves her so, so much. He really admires all of his friends and he also thinks the world of Jammer, too, to be fair, but Evan is sincerely endlessly impressed with Sam and everything she does. He acts like she hung the moon in the sky. I truly do think that Evan would be happy just to see her be happy, his love for her is very pure and he'd be okay if it weren't romantic as long as she still wanted him around and cared about their friendship- but I think he's in love with her, and knows that somewhat early in the adventure.
Because Evan is so sincere, thinks Sam is so cool and so good, it gets across that he truly means it. He doesn't just see Sam Britian and care about her fame. That's cool, too, but he would love her no matter what her job is. He truly loves Sam for Sam and she believes him, and loves him back, and even if she could be dating some celebrity (which she could, easily) she chooses to be with Evan instead. And in that choice, Evan knows she loves him for him, too, because why else would she choose that?
i just. love them so much you guys.
#mismag#misfits and magic#misfits and magic spoilers#evsam#long post#sorry im ranting about my ships they just make me excited
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Sun + Moon Combo Hot takes ~ pt.4
Sun in Sag Cancer moon: this is quite an odd combination. Mixing cancers moodiness, emotional, homebody energy with the adventurous, impulsive, emotionally avoidant energy Sagittarius, you have a versatile mix of energies! I believe this combination will make you to be a lot more empathetic and loyal than your average Sagittarius. I can see these people as being emotional roleercosters especially when they are interested in someone. Can play hot and cold a lot (one minute being very clingy and needy then the next very cold and distant). You can have this war in your mind one part of you wants to settle down and be comfortable the other wants freedom and adventure. U can drive yourself crazy sometimes with these differing views. Since your emotions are usually in a state of chaos you should seek partners who are emotionally stable and grounded. I can see this placement being big foodies too and should be careful to not overindulge especially when stressed. Having cancer as your moon sign you are a lot more cautious than most Sagittariusâs and tend to look before you leap which can save you in a lot of circumstances. However this can hold you back from opportunities if you become too cautious.
Scorpio sun Aries moon: this is like a domestic violence case đ but seriously though you guys can be scary when upset. Yall go from 0 to 100 really fast. You can switch up on people pretty quick because of how easily you can be angered. You can be the funnest person in the room until someone says something that triggers you and the party ends very quick lol. Iâve seen these people to resort to harsh words and if really underdeveloped physically will hit or throw things. However their anger usually chills out just as fast as how they got angry. They usually donât hold grudges like most Scorpio suns. These people can be big dare devils too if you dare them to do it they will! (My friend had this and she was dared to chug a whole bottle of pink Whitney and she did it without hesitation)đ. When they arenât mad these people are really fun and bold, they have a magnetism to them that draws people near. They can be really flirty too and usually prefer making the first move. These people can be very dominant in their relationships.
Sun in Leo moon in Pisces: this is a very charming placement. The neptunian influence humbles the big ego of Leo. They tend to have a very balanced self esteem without over doing the cockiness (which most Leoâs do) due to the empathy of Pisces. This can make them very attractive to others. They are usually more shy and hide away from attention more than most Leoâs (although they do crave it). They can daydream about fame a lot and imagine their art being put out for all to see (many with this combo are great at art/theatre) if their ideas are actually put into action they can get a lot of recognition for their work. They usually have an issue with ideas just stating ideas which they should learn to get out of. They LOVE daydreaming and can think of some pretty creative stuff. They are big romantics as well and are usually big on grand gestures toward their partner and usually spend A LOT on them. They have a very fairytale like way of giving love.
Leo sun Taurus moon: Big Powerhouse combo. These people are so determined and forceful. If any combination can be successful as an entrepreneur itâs this combination. They have such amazing charisma as well they can charm the boots out of everyone along with their natural confidence it makes these people very business savvy and successful. These people are not afraid of hard-work and LOVE money. They are usually very materialistic (sometimes to a fault) and love luxury. Be careful not to try to buy others love and affection or vice versa. These people can however be very inflexible and arenât the most diplomatic of people, diplomacy is very foreign to them. They are very âmy way or the highwayâ kinda folks and can lack tact. This can gain them some enemies and quarrels along the road if not careful. ( but usually their charisma gets them out of a lot). Overall this is a very powerful combination (sun being in its home in Leo and moon being exalted in Taurus) most enjoy a lot of wealth and comfort in life.
Scorpio Sun Scorpio moon: âŠâŠâŠâŠ
Sun in Gemini Virgo moon: these people are normally very logical and have a very minimalistic taste. They are usually very modest and quiet but they have this wild side that craves mental stimulation constantly. This is a double mercury so mental stimulation is big for them. They can become anxious when they get too bored or become under stimulated being too bored can make them become reckless and impulsive so itâs smart to find ways to keep your mind occupied. They come off as very open minded and carefree but lowkey they are judging you so hard lmao. They criticize people constantly even though they will look as if they accept you (which is a lil scary). These people can be huge over-thinkers and think themselves into self destruction if they arenât careful. These energies are usually very difficult to balance. This is also a big people pleaser combo. They are very concerned with performing perfectly in front of others and are afraid of coming off as awkward or embarrassing. They can wear a bit of a fake mask in social situations for this very reason.
Scorpio sun Pisces moon: this is the family member you never see and donât ever know shit about lol. They just pop up every once in awhile. These people are very lowkey and private. Itâs very rare they let others into their inner worlds only if they trust you which can be difficult because they can be triggered easily even by jokes. They have this emotional intensity that they usually keep repressed in them until they find someone worthy of sharing that side of them (which is usually partners) so they normally come off as very nonchalant and aloof to others. However if they let you in their inner circle they are loyal to you for life. But even with people they trust they can disappear a lot and demand a certain amount of space to recharge their emotional batteries. These people are very mysterious and charming and act as a quiet magnet to those around them. They give off siren vibes.
Sagittarius sun libra moon: these are like those girls who have a big friend group and is captain of the cheer team and has a perfect relationship withâŠ. You get the picture these people are usually extremely likeable and popular. They give golden retriever vibes and itâs very rare to feel much negative energy from them. They are overall very positive people with healthy mindsets and relationships. Every person I met with this placement were the most easy going people Iâve ever met. You guys are usually a natural in social situations and can make friends pretty easily. The only bad thing I can say about this placement is that you can be too dependent on your relationships with others to a point where you can neglect yourself and your own needs & you tend to ignore negative emotions which causes a build up internally. These people should also beware of having a god complex because of how easy it is for them to attract others it can make them come off as cocky if not careful. But overall this is a very likeable combo.
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Can I please request Astarion with a flirty yet oblivious plus size Tav? In the way that they do flirt because it's fun and light like their companions/friends with benefits thing, but they think that their feelings are unrequited (because of some slight insecurity about their size) until Astarion is like I actually like you and Tav is like '???' (Idk if that makes sense lol) Thank you!
-------------------------------đ©ž-------------------------------
âSo, Astarion, what is your actual type?â
âMy âtypeâ,â Astarion repeated at Shadowheartâs question as they traveled, âis such a broad prevue. I canât think to narrow it down to just a single collection of words.â
âThatâs a unique way to say youâre a trollop.â
Tav snickered at Shadowhearts retort, getting a stern glare from Astarion. âWhat? It was funny?â
âPft. And here I was going to say you, my dear, but if youâre going to be so incredibly cruel.â
âAw shucks. Always a bridesmaid I suppose.â
During their journey together, Tav had grown very fond of Astarion. He was a little shit, but deep down he was very funny and undeniably charming (although not for the ways he tried to be). The two of you had picked up a friendly banter over your time together, sometimes even flirty, but only that. And Tav was fine with that. Well aware that a handsome rake like Astarion could have his pick of the litter, and they were just happy to be considered a friend.
Later that night, while everyone was finishing their day and slinking off to bed, Astarion came over to Tav by the fire to sit with them. âYou know I really meant it earlier by the way.â
âMeant what?â Tav asked. Lost, by this point, on what he was talking about.
âThat youâre myâŠ.âtypeâ.â He seemed loathed to use the word. Even scrunched his nose. Tav just laughed.
âYeah. Right. Iâm sure.â
âNo, really, I mean it.â He insisted.
âCome on Astarion, the only way youâd be interested in me is because Iâm a a keg instead of a flagon.â Tav gestured to themselves and their full frame. âI have ample blood to spare.â
Astarion frowned. âYes, your blood is certainly a bonus, but that isnât why I care for you.â He huffed and crossed his arms dramatically. âHonestly, why does everyone think Iâm not being serious when I am?â Astarion asked with a bit of flabbergast. âIs it something about my expression?â
Tav looked more than a bit flabbergasted at his remark. They didnât really think they liked themâŠ.that way. Friends sure. Allies, of course. But romantically? âYouâŠreally have feelings for me?â
âUgh! What is it with you new generation and wanting to put a name to everything?â Astarion bemoaned. âFeelings. Type. Canât we just enjoy this for whateverâŠthis is? All I know is that out of all the people in this whole wicked world I would want to be stuck with, itâs you.â
âGee, thatâs the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me.â Tav teased.
Astarion frowned again, but then leaned in close to Tav so all they could see was his piercing red eyes. âI could wax poems for you, if youâd prefer. How your eyes are the stars. How your curves are roads I would never get tired of roaming. How your ample bosom feels like a place to call home. All true, but youâre so much more to me than that.â He moved back to sit in his original spot. Wrapping his arms around his knees at his chest as he looked into the fire. âYouâre the first person Iâve trusted inâŠwell ever. You mean more to me than just your body. Though, again, that is certainly a bonus. I had hopedâŠ.you feel the same about me.â
Tav blushed, but then quickly gathered their voice and told him, âyes! Of course.â
Astarion seemed relieved. Then leaned over to give Tav a simple, sweet peck on the cheek. âGood. Now, get some sleep. Weâll probably have a completely eventful day tomorrow as well. Youâll need your beauty sleep. Not that you need it, of course. Iâll keep watch until the morning.â
Tav smiled, blushed again, and then went to their bed roll. Tentative in accepting Astarionâs confession & feelings, but hopeful it was all true. Perhaps, for once, they could really be the bride instead of the bridesmaid.
#;ask and ye shall receive (request answers)#baldur's gate#baldurs gate iii#baldurs gate 3#baldurs gate#bg3 scenarios#baldurs gate astarion#bg3 imagine#baldurs gate tav#bg3 fanfiction#astarion#astarion x tav#astarion x reader#ascended astarion#ascended astarion x tav#ascended astarion x reader#astarion smut#astarion ancunin#scenarios#imagine#fanfiction
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