#although she was sick and I was just trying to assess her

[booksdogsmagicandmore]

Today I described a cat as “nice until she hits her limit, then a bit fractious” and I just realized that I was also describing myself

[travellingarmy]

✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙✧⃝•͙͙✩ͯ✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙✧⃝•͙͙✩ͯ┄•͙✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙

✦❘༻𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝙼𝚢 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝༺❘✦

Ch. 3 - Teas, Cakes, and the Sleeping Beauty

✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙✧⃝•͙͙✩ͯ✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙✧⃝•͙͙✩ͯ┄•͙✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙

Malleus Draconia x fem!reader

Chapter list + Summary

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Do not steal/copy + paste my works and upload it anywhere else.

⊰♤⊱⊰◇⊱⊰♡⊱⊰☆⊱⊰♧⊱⊰♤⊱⊰◇⊱⊰♡⊱⊰☆⊱⊰♧⊱

“The prince.. Wants to meet me?” This was certainly a surprise and one can guess so at the look on your face as look at the maid who stood by the door. You put down the book that you weren’t even invested in and just read it to kill time on the time period where you were given a break– Yes, you were given a schedule to follow each day. It consisted of all your lessons, break periods, meal time, sleeping time– whatever one could think of. Although, you find the part of them deciding when you should sleep a bit unreasonable.. I mean, you were pretty sure that you are now at that age where no one would need to decide when you should go to sleep. You weren’t sure who had made up this schedule of yours and so could only guess who the mastermind is. 

“Yes. He wishes you could meet him in the garden for lunch.” Although you could tell she does not want to be in the same room as you and in fact, could not even try to bother hiding the scorn on her face, she nevertheless answers you. 

You look off to the window in thought, putting a finger to your chin. Now that I’m thinking about it, it’s now been a few weeks since I’ve seen him.. You had assumed that he’ll never want to cross paths with you after that night, seeing as he has taken great interest in staying clear of your path for this long. 

You closed your eyes in contemplation, not that you were going to refuse the invitation in the first place since he is, after all, the prince. It would be rude to reject him, you believed, and let’s not forget to mention that if word got out that you had rejected his invitation, you have no doubt that this servant girl will spread rumours about how heartless you are to their beloved prince and that the marriage was a mistake. You could not have that now. Besides..

“Alright, I’ll go,” you conclude, turning your gaze to the girl. You had been building up your courage to meet him for a while now– not that you knew where he even was– to come and ask him about a letter you had received two days ago. Shocking as it may be, it was regarded to you. “You may leave now.” She bows her head not out of respect but out of protocols and leaves the room quickly as if she had been waiting for the moment. 

You sighed and returned to looking out the window. You were starting to come to peace with the fact that you’ll be living with a ghost of a husband but with that invitation that you could not reject still looming over your head that had asked that you come with him, it was now impossible to do so. This will be the first time I see him after so many days.. “Urgh..” You felt your stomach turn and you suddenly felt sick. You had almost forgotten how nervous you were when you were around him but now faced with the current reality, you felt yourself break into cold sweats just as you once had during the wedding. Now thinking about it, you’re beginning to wonder if the guests that day saw the sweat drops on your forehead and the slight shake of your hands when you held hands with him for that occasion.

Picking up your cup, you take a sip of your drink and relax as the sweet taste of it melts on your tongue.

Hm.. Maybe I should change my dress beforehand. You looked down at yourself and assessed the current clothing you were wearing. It was a simple, tiffany blue dress with white pearls stitched to it and white lace tracing around the open parts of the dress such as the sleeves. It was not overly flashy since you were just staying in the castle and not going anywhere fancy.

You thought about it. It has been a while since you've even taken a glimpse of the prince and although you both are husband and wife who should not need to impress each other, you weren’t remotely close to having the bonds of a couple. You’d most likely embarrass yourself wearing the plain dress you worse right now..

—

'Uhm.. How exactly do I get to the garden?' You had left your private lounge a few minutes ago since it was nearly time to meet him; however, you found yourself lost and running late to the lunch meetup. Your eyebrows twitch as you swore you had passed the same corridor at least twice now but you couldn’t be too sure since the castle looks the same almost everywhere. The manor back home wasn’t this confusing.. I hate castles.

You should have asked the girl from earlier the directions to the garden before dismissing her. O’ how could you have been so foolish enough to forget that you barely knew the layout of the castle? You wanted to slap yourself but you do not want to make yourself look crazy if someone were to come waltzing past you at that moment. Actually, you were praying– begging– to those higher up to have someone walk this hall so you could ask them for directions. 

Take deep breaths. You can find a way, I know it! You reassure yourself. And besides, right now, you should give yourself a pat on the back since you were certainly making progress through this maze; you were sure that you were on the main floor of the castle. 

Taking just up a few more steps ahead, you see light cascading through an open door. You are certain that it is leading outside since you doubted a chandelier could illuminate that bright still well through the day. A smile appears on your face as you walk towards the door. 

The smile turned to one of more confidence when you stepped out into the sunlight and the cobblestone path that had grass on their sides. Now you were more than halfway to reaching the garden! You just had to walk to the back of the castle– easy peasy! You chuckle, proudly resting your fists on your hips. It was a silly thing to be proud of if you think deeply about it but come on– you had navigated your way in the unfamiliar castle all by yourself! You were pretty proud of that.

You took eager, hasty steps around the castle with a determined look. Garden. Garden. Garde– “Oomph!” Just as you turned a new corner, you didn’t notice the large object in your path and so you clumsily tripped. The fall was not in the slightest soft despite falling on grass.

You slowly sat up on your knees, feeling your chin swelling from the impact. You rubbed your chin and hoped that it didn't look ugly.. In fact, it would be better if you couldn't see it at all. "Ugh.." What the heck did I trip on– oh! 

Your eyes widened as its gaze lands on a man. His eyes were closed and his breathing was soft and steady. He does not seem to have felt the kick when you hit him and the thud when you fell since he did not open his eyes at all– wait. 

Is he unconscious!? Panic sets within you. If he hadn't reacted to all that, he surely must be, right? "H-hey.." You scoot closer to the unconscious male and nudge his shoulder gently. "I didn't knock you out, did I?" There was a slight shake in your voice just thinking of the possibility, but you were sure you had just tripped on his legs and not kicked his head! "Argh..! I don't know what to do!"

As if it was godsent, the male groans amidst his senseless state. Then, "Mm.. So noisy.." He slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes. O' thank heavens! He really was just asleep..! You clasped your hands together and a wide smile appeared on your face. Maybe there were a few tears of joy at the corner of your eyes threatening to fall, but who knows? You were too relieved that he was okay. In fact, you were too relieved to even question why he was even there in the first place.

"Hm?" After now being fully woken up from his nap, the man notices and cranes his head towards you, the source to his reason being awake. "Who are you?"

Eh– You felt as if you were turned into a stone statue at his bold question. Sure, you were hated on but that reputation of yours is certainly huge. Does he seriously not know who you were? 

"Ah, I'm–" Just as you were about to introduce yourself, he sighs tiredly and cuts you off. "Nevermind, don't answer that.." He says. He rests an arm on his knees and droops his head, closing his eyes. Rude.. Was what you wished to say aloud but you're sure this guy won't care at all. 

"I'm too tired.." He comments, but you're pretty sure he wasn't talking to you. Now there you were, unsure of what to do next. So awkward.. 

A cool, gentle breeze passes you by, causing your hair to be blown by the wind. You hold a hand in your head to make sure your hair doesn't become a mess since it surely would not be presentable when you meet Mal– oh.

AH, that's right! I'm already late..! Panic rises in you once more as it dawns on you that you've been making him wait for far too long now. The food has probably gone cold now, being cooled down by the breeze. "H-hey.." Your voice sounded of urgency but the man does not open his eyes to look at you. In fact.. He looks like he's gone back to sleep!

Urk..

You stare at his side profile long and hard, contemplating if you should nudge him awake again. During your awkward staring, you carefully looked at his complexion. Oh wow.. His eyelashes are pretty.. And it wasn't just his eyelashes that you found alluring; his face was also so smooth! Not a single imperfection on his symmetrical face. I'm kind of envious that a boy could be so much prettier than me. 

"Is there something on my face?" Although his eyes remain closed, he asks you a question, catching you off guard and embarrassed. "A-ah, no.. I just thought you were pretty, is all.." You chuckled guiltily, averting your eyes to nowhere in particular.

Amidst your awkward aversion, his eyelids now flutter open, revealing his equally captivating eyes. "Why are you still here?" He asks you. There wasn't a hint of malice, just a tiny bit of annoyance from having been woken up.

You straighten your posture and move your eyes to look at him again. Although he wasn't scary, he certainly had a commanding voice. Were all the people here this authoritative? Ah, nevermind that, this was the perfect time to ask him for directions, you thought. "I, uh, I was wondering if you could point me to the garden.." You say meekly, fidgeting your fingers on your lap. Gosh we're you having a hard time remaining your eyes on him.

"The garden..?" He repeats and watches as you nod your head. He turns his gaze to the sky in deep thought. "Mm.. Then you're way off the path. This is the castle's barracks; this is on the other side of where you're heading,” he confesses nonchalantly. You felt yourself become a stone statue again but this time, felt it cracking. The confidence you once had just moments before suddenly toppled down at the confession. 

He looks at your stiff posture with the look of a gawker. "Pfft." A smile cracks on his bored face and tries to stifle a laugh and covers it with a fist. When that could not be done, he turned his head away from the silly look you had on in fear of breaking out into loud laughter. 

He clears his throat and calms himself of his silly antics. "Ahem. If you want, I could walk you to the garden?" You were mindlessly staring off into space when he stood up and offered you a hand. You blinked owlishly, looking dumbly at the hand in front of you before it finally clicked in your head. 

You offer him a shy smile and a ‘thank you’ when you reach for his hand. "No problem," he says and takes one look at your dress before commenting, “You should probably dust those dirt off.”

—

“Here we are.” A huge smile crept up on your face as a huge wave of relief washes over you. You scan the area to confirm if you really were in the right place– and you were. Tall hedges acted like walls to enclose the garden and decorated on them were all sorts of colourful flowers sprouted outside of it, albeit the shades of them could be a little brighter..  “Next time you want to go to the garden, turn right twice then left once from the dining hall,” he says, all the while not looking at you. Instead, he stares at the garden entrance with a hand resting on his hips. 

There was a moment of silence with you two standing side by side, just a few steps apart. Oh, right! I should thank– Your thoughts were cut short from another sigh that escaped his lips. “Anyway, I should get going now..” He mumbles which had you thinking if he was saying that to you. Just as he said that, he turned back around and scratched his head, he tiredly spoke again, “Urgh.. So much for my nap.. Now I think father will be catching up to me by now so I can’t go back to sleep..” He yawns loudly, seeming to not care about manners and bothering to cover his mouth. 

“Wait, let me–” You outstretched an arm as if you were going to grab him, but it just remained hovering lazily in the air. Before you could even stop him so you could say a proper thanks, he had turned a corner and vanished from sight. “Ugh.. I didn’t even get his name..”

Nevermind that, you were already running late to the initial lunch meetup and you were sure that Malleus would come to an agreement with the other nobles that you were chosen by mistake. I mean, you don’t recall a princess ever being this sloppy. I really should have just stayed home that day and avoided this situation entirely.. 

Your chest rises and fall as you take a deep breath to calm your nerves. Now feeling like you have collected yourself, you turned around and– “Oh..!” What is with you and running into things? You stopped yourself short, almost running into something or rather.. A someone. And O’ boy was it a situation to be in.

Without even looking up, you already felt cold sweats break loose and your fingers began to run cold. You were well acquainted with this looming figure over you since it had happened twice and you couldn’t help but take a nervous gulp. “Child of man.” Your skin crawled and your body stiffened up. You had almost forgotten the deepness of his voice and so it caught you off guard. 

When you didn't answer him, his eyes narrowed slightly disapprovingly and took his eyes off you to look at the corner where you had just watched your guide turn to leave your sight. Just what were you staring at, he was curious, but he held his tongue. He stares at that corner a minute too long for your frantic mind who still did not dare face him. “My eyes are up here.” He crosses his arms when he returns his full attention to you. “O-oh, yes!” You stutter. At his words you quickly snap your neck up, now nervously staring at him. However, his eyes.. You’ve always found them a frightening shade of green. 

“Ah.. Uhm..” You opened and closed your mouth a few times, trying to find the right words to start with and avert your gaze to just past his arm since you really couldn’t look over his shoulder. It really is hard to look at him for more than five seconds, but you were trying your best. “Your Highness..” You decided on the first words to greet him with and you feel like it was a good choice until you see that his eyes narrow even more to which only further serve to make you feel nervous. He hums. He didn’t look angry or disgusted by you, a human. But still, it was hard to tell if he was even remotely okay with you. 

“I-I’m terribly sorry for running late..” You picked your words carefully but they still came out shaky. When he doesn’t say anything, you start to fidget with your fingers close to your chest. Argh, how am I supposed to keep living like this when my husband is scary? You close your eyes, thinking hard of some flattery words to make him less angry at you. 

He stares at you with unreadable eyes but is certainly assessing you. You were still fearful of him, that much he knows. But after recalling Lilia’s words from that night, he calms down and relaxes his face. He was sure that it was very stern which could be the reason you look at him with fearful wide-eyes. He wants to try.. Try at getting to know you. 

Truthfully, if you had come a minute later, it would be a sure fact that the kingdom would be ravelled in a dark storm cloud. But nevermind that, he should focus on making you be less afraid of him. “It’s fine,” he breathes out and turns on his heels and begins walking deeper into the garden. “You are only late by just.. 45 minutes.” There was a moment’s pause in his voice, emphasizing the time. You were embarrassed since it was clear that he was being sarcastic. 

You stood there with an evident look of a slow-witted person so he had to halt his steps. “Hm? Do you not want to have lunch with me?” He cranes his head just enough to peer over his shoulders. His chartreuse-coloured eyes glazed over you. “Oh.. Yes, I’m coming..!” You blinked your stupified state away and jogged up to him whilst making sure you didn’t trip again. 

—

So awkward.. 

You found yourself sitting under a hooded gazebo that was decorated with a table and two chairs facing each other. The moment you sat down, several servants had come out of nowhere and placed all sorts of food on the table. Even with all the food on the table, your hands remained glued on your lap and focused on trying to not look at him, opting to look at a plate of untouched food in front of you. Malleus does not seem to have taken notice of how uncomfortable you were which made you feel even worse for dwelling on it. In fact, you could see a background of flowers just spinning beside him as he takes a savoury sip of his tea with closed eyes. Well, at least he’s enjoying himself, you thought. 

“Child of man.” Your body straightens up in alert when he calls you by that nickname. He sets down his cup on the saucer with the sound of a clack as it does so. Instead of eating, he felt that you had been eyeing him for some time now but when he looks, you’d look elsewhere. You were a curious little thing, that much he had concluded. Lilia had proposed the idea to invite you for tea when he had asked how to make you be less afraid of him and even offered enthusiastically to bake sweets for you. That, however, was shut down by Malleus since he had a fair amount of those so-called delights of his, and so the kitchen staff had made all the dishes. 

Malleus did still later ask Lilia for what should be served since he has lived long enough to have had interactions with humans before in the short decades without war. “Hm? Kehehee, why, they enjoy sweets of course.” That was what he said so Malleus had the kitchen prepare all sorts of sweets along with a few none-sweet foods. However, looking at you who had not touched a single thing– not even the slice of chocolate cake that had been deliberately placed next to you– he could only assume that you must be unwell. Certainly, Lilia does have the tendency to fool around for someone his age, but he by no means is a liar. 

He takes a dessert plate off the stand and places it right in front of you. “Have a try of this cake,” he says and leans back on his seat, “It’s a favoured recipe here in the kingdom that is well known for its overly sweet taste.” He made sure to emphasize the last few words in hopes that they might make you want to eat it. If you don’t eat it then surely there must be something wrong with you. 

The intense stare he’s giving you is making you more nervous, but he had invited you to eat so you should kindly accept the food he’s offering you. “Mn. Thank you.” You instinctively look up— something you do when thanking someone is to look at them to express sincerity. But alas, you got spooked at his frightening eyes that you flinched away. 

With shaky hands, you reached for the fork at arm’s length meant for dessert. No matter whether you will like it or not, you have to say something nice, you thought, since he did say that it was a loved sweet in the Valley and so must be his favourite as well. 

“Oh..!” The taste melts on your tongue the moment you take the forkful of it in your mouth. It was sweet, yes, but not overly too sweet just as he had said— maybe you just have a sweet tooth. It reminded you of a cloud.

Suddenly, you felt relaxed as if you had totally forgotten whom you sat across. That did not bother the fae, however. Despite the stoic expression painted on his face, he felt relieved that you’re eating and that you weren’t sick at all. He brings his cup to his lips again and watches at the adorable light that flicker across your eyes when you take more bites. You looked exactly as Silver once did when he was a baby, he thinks. 

—

Instead of going for a quiet lunch and then returning to following your schedule down to a T just as you had thought, he invited you further to a walk in the garden. Well, you hadn’t left the palace ever since coming here and this was the most time you have spent outside since your arrival.. You had agreed since it wouldn’t hurt to get to know your way around the palace, even though it’s just the garden. And in the back of your mind, you also thought that it’d be quite selfish of you to only do what is best for you after having made him wait for quite a long time. 

You walked quite some distance behind him and kept quiet and to yourself, admiring the beautifully trimmed bushes and roses that stemmed out of it. You halt in your steps when you find a particular flower that doesn’t look like the rest. It was almost crystal-like with how clear it was and how it shows different colours just as you would see when light is casted on a polished crystal. 

You bend forward slightly, clearly enamoured by the uniqueness of it. Your homeland houses a certain flower and they all come in rich, vibrant colours, but clearly it was nothing like this. “You should be careful of the thorns.” You were drawn back from the sight when a voice speaks close to your ears, its tone low. It wasn’t a whisper of a gentle breeze brushing past your ears, but it sounded of rich silk. 

You didn’t need to turn your body around since just a slight crane of your head to the side reveals Malleus leaning way into your comfort bubble. His face was practically just beside yours! His eyes traverse from the flower to meet your wide-eyed gaze. “Hm?” He blinks at your curious expression. “This flower– although different– is much like a rose with its thorns,” he explains as if that was the reason you were staring at him. 

He straightens up to his full height and it still amazes you how a giant roams this land. He is practically twice your height, you believed, even when you stood at your full height. His towering build and those eyes of his essentially makes him twice as much terrifying. “Have you ever seen this flower, child of man?” His head slightly cocks to the side with a curved finger on his chin as if he’s thinking. “I’ve made sure to replicate your home by having the gardener plant roses– your country’s symbolic flower.” 

“Ah.. N-no, I have not.. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a flower like this before,” you answered in earnest, although you stuttered here and there and spoke with a shy voice. It’s true. Although your country had other flowers, none could compare to the abundant red roses that would grow out of the cracks of the ground and traces along the buildings without the care of a gardener. In fact, there was a festival every year at the peak of spring that was all about those flowers. 

"Hm, I see.. So the kingdom really lacks magic.. It amazes me how long humans have survived without magic." He blurts out with no awareness of your pride as a child of that kingdom and capabilities as a human. You felt like you've been stabbed. You can agree with him, but he didn't need to say it so casually to your face. 'Geez. This prince is awfully honest.' He kind of reminds you of a certain someone— that guy with silver hair from earlier. His eyes moves to the flower again. "If a high concentration of magic stays in one place, flowers like these are not a rare occurrence. 

"If you like it, then I'll have someone make it into a floral arrangement and send it to the room for you." He looks at you and you swear you could clearly see an imaginary dog's tail wagging behind him and pleading with his eyes to say 'yes'. "I-If you don't see it as a hassle.." Your tongue let loose before you could catch it, finding yourself surprised.

He hooks his fingers on his collar as if he's going to fix the already neat garment. "I'll have them be sent to you then." He nods, feeling proud of himself. Again, you feel like you might be going mad when you hallucinate little petals spinning behind him.

'Ah! I nearly forgot..!'

"Um, Your Highness.." You start off slow and carefully, unsure if it really is the right time to burst his happy bubble. But this is your opportunity, you think, since you're not sure when or if you'll see him again after this. "I received a letter a few days ago."

He blinks, standing quiet for a hot second before gesturing for you to continue with his eyes. "It's an invitation from Marquis Hagen's wife; she wants to meet me at a banquet she'll be hosting on her birthday," you said. 

He stills. "An invitation?" He repeats carefully. When you nod, his brows furrowed in deep thought and brought a finger to his chin. When he doesn't say anything for a while, you think that it's a 'no' answer from him. A shame, really, since you haven't– "Alright, you can go."

You clasp your hands together excitedly. It's been so long since you've had interactions with somebody outside the castle. "Really? Thank you, Your Highness," you said and adds, just remembering what else the letter wrote, "Ah, she.. She also asked for you to come– if you're not too busy, that is." You drop your hands and watch him with careful eyes. 

"Hm?" A look of a surprise dawns on his face, but only for a second. "Then, I'll go."

⊰♤⊱⊰◇⊱⊰♡⊱⊰☆⊱⊰♧⊱⊰♤⊱⊰◇⊱⊰♡⊱⊰☆⊱⊰♧⊱

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sam's sick

summary ― you go and pick up your sick girlfriend from training

pairing ― sam kerr x reader

warning/s ― sick sam, fluff

based off this request

The rain was drizzling down outside, the sound of your Spotify playing in the background keeping you company as you attempt to clean the house up. It was your day off, which you usually spend with your girlfriend but she had been called into training and left long before you woke up. 

You nudged your bedroom door open with your foot, shaking your head at all your girlfriend's clothes on the floor. Quickly picking them up and putting them in her laundry basket. You’d come back for them later. 

Continuing through the room, you quickly made the bed and ensured everything else that needed to be put away was done. 

Quickly grabbing your phone out of your pocket to check the time, you notice the two missed calls from Steph and a message. 

Sam’s not doing great. Would you be able to pick her up? 

You feel your heart drop as you re-read the message three times over. Not even thinking about texting her back, you make your way towards the front door - grab the car keys and quickly lock up. 

The drive over wasn’t terrible, although thousands of possibilities kept running around your head. You knew your girlfriend put her body on the line when it came to the sport and as much as you loved her for being so passionate, sometimes you just wanted to wrap her up in bubblewrap and keep her home with you. 

Quickly parking the car, you almost thank the lord when you remembered Sam had carpooled it in today - her car is one less thing you need to worry about. Walking through the lobby, you could hear the girls singing ‘strawberry kisses’ a small smile coming to your face. 

Walking into the change room, Katrina spots you first, dancing towards you, and grabbing your hand to spin you around. Others join around you, letting out cheers. You take note that you still haven’t spotted Sam or Steph. 

The girls start to break away from you, getting ready for lunch, Katrina’s arm still on yours as she comes in closer to you. 

“They’re already in the cafeteria” you thank her quickly, as you make your way towards the cafeteria. Turing around the corner you see Sam sitting at the table, her head in her hands as Steph was rubbing her back. A bottle of water sitting on the table in front of her. 

Steph notices you almost instantly, giving you a small smile as she moves so you could slot yourself where she just was. Sam lets out a small groan, as you slip next to her - your hand now replacing Steph's. 

“Hey baby” you mumbled into her hair, planting a kiss as you continue to rub her back. The second she realises it is you, her head falls into your chest - another groan leaving her lips. 

You try to assess her, looking up and down for any sort of injury but come up with nothing. She continues to cling to you, almost like a child as you plant kisses on her head trying to give her any sort of relief. 

“What’s going on sweetheart?” you wait a few seconds for Sam to respond - looking over to get some sort of response from Steph but find that during the past few minutes, she had left to give the two of you some privacy. “It’s just you and me Sam” you add on, hoping that would get Sam to talk. 

“I feel like shit” she croaks out, a small sniffle following. You let out a small ‘coo’ as you managed to pull her even closer into your body - as sad as you were to see your girlfriend sick, it felt nice to be able to hold her like this. 

You let her sit for a few more minutes, listening out for the rest of the team to walk through those doors. You had a feeling steph had told them to hold off until you got Sam back into your car. 

You feel her shift just a little, her big brown eyes starring up at you. You could see the sickness in her eyes, but the way she was pouting at you made her just that little bit cuter. You could tell she had hit breaking point, her eyes watery as her body just gives into you. 

Sam had to sides of being sick, at first she would deny it to her grave - instinsting she was okay. She would try to act like nothing was wrong and overwork herself until she was literally dying and then the flip would switch. She became clingy, only wanting you. And although you would say ‘i told you so’ every single time, you couldnt help but treasure those moments together. Just the two of you. 

You give her a small peck on her nose, brushing some of her hair away from her eyes. 

“You ready to go home love?” you ask, smiling down at your girlfriend. 

She closes her eyes, as she slowly nods. 

“I would love that”

[tummysick]

Because we desperately need wlw sickfics, I wrote one. Here's Part 2: Liz

Liz’s roommates had decided to throw a party to kick off their sophomore year. Having it in their space, and therefore being on cleanup duty, sounded annoying, but as a social butterfly, she didn't take too much convincing. Liz didn't love drinking. She wasn't big on the taste and as someone who was both emetophobic and secretly emetophilic, drinking was complicated for her. Her strategy so far in college had involved bolting as soon as anyone looked the slightest bit queasy and hardly drinking anything herself to stay out of danger. The next day, however, she would want all the details.

Liz knew her emetophilia could exist in the real world. Her senior year, Liz had a massive crush on a girl, and when they went on an end-of-year field trip to the mountains, her crush got motion sick. Liz remembered watching the color drain from her crush’s face and the way her body trembled. Liz had offered her her hand, and at every turn, she'd clenched Liz's hand and swallowed hard. When they’d finally gotten to the mountains, she'd tugged Liz’s hand, whispering “please,” and pulled her around to the back of the entrance building, where she finally emptied her upset stomach. Liz rubbed her back and thought, okay, there's no denying things now as each heave made her throb between her legs. But it had been years and beyond some late-night fantasies college had placed her phobia front and center. 

Liz noticed the pretty blond girl in the denim jacket the second she walked into the living room. She looked a bit awkward and out of place, but she was absolutely stunning. The girl turned, scanning the room, and Liz caught sight of her pride pin. Her heart skipped a beat. Liz was thinking about how to casually initiate conversation when she noticed the girl looked a bit off. The girl looked disoriented and… sick. Usually, this would be where Liz would bolt, but when she saw how the girl stood, stumbling forward, and crumpled to the floor with a terrified look, Liz froze. Maybe pretty girls override the phobia? Damn, this girl was definitely going to get sick, and Liz needed to get her out of there, but just as she took a step towards her, the girl began to vomit. The powerful torrents of liquid splashed back onto the girl's hands and shirt. Liz liked caretaking but not the actual substance. Her stomach did a flip. People were filing out of the room, and some asshole made a rude comment. Come on, Liz, she needs you. Liz winced, swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and moved to crouch beside the girl.  “Hey, hey. I got you. Come here.” She helped her stand, but immediately the girl slumped into Liz’s arms, dizzy. Okay, and this is why we do push-ups.

Liz gathered the girl into her arms and carried her to the bathroom at the end of the hall. The girl was sobbing. Liz felt her tears and shuddering breath wet against her neck as she carried the girl into the bathroom, where she set her down, leaning against the bathroom wall, trying with all her might to be as smooth and gentle as possible. I need to check how coherent she is. Liz had spent a night googling alcohol poisoning her freshman year, and before anything else, she needed to assess if this was a 911 situation. “Hey, look at me.” She cupped the girl's face, tilting it up and locking eyes with the crying girl. Her eyes were bright blue and bloodshot from the crying and strain of being sick, but they focused on Liz just fine with a mix of fear, desperation, and confusion. Wow she is SO pretty. “Good, you're doing amazing. Can you talk?”

“I---I’m so embarrassed!!” she sobbed.

Although parts of the girl’s story about how she'd come with a friend and felt nervous about being a freshman, and had too much to drink were lost, it was only because of how heavily she was sobbing; her speech wasn't slurred, and she seemed alert. “Oh honey, hey hey. You're okay. It's going to be okay.” Okay, where are these pet names coming from?? “Do you need a hug?”

The pretty blond girl just about threw herself into Liz’s arms, clutching a fistful of Liz’s t-shirt as she sobbed into Liz’s chest.

“Ohh buddyyyy. Shhh, it's okay. I know. It's no fun. You're gonna be alright. I'm right here”

Suddenly, the girl stiffened, and her breath became short and rapid. Oh no.

“Hey, are you feeling--”

“I think I'm gonna be sick again”

She recoiled from Liz’s arms, launching herself towards the toilet.

"I don't want to be sick again. I can't do it. It hurts so bad. You should go. This is disgusting”

“I'm not going anywhere and you are not disgusting. Shhh. Hey, try to breathe. It's gonna be okay. I'm right here. Can I touch your back?”

“Please. Please, I'm so scared. I'm so scared. I can't. Not more. No. Oh, please, no. No no no”

“I'm right here. Can you try to take a deep breath for me?”

The girl took one slow, shuddering breath. Some tension left her shoulders as she melted into Liz’s hand. 

“There you go. You're doing so good”

Maybe she can breathe through this. As soon as the thought crossed her mind Liz saw the girl blanch and flinch in discomfort. Okay never mind yep this is happening. 

“I can't, I can't, I'm gonna be---”

She gagged hard, unproductively, gasped for air, and then projectile vomited. The next several minutes were spent with Liz rubbing her back and cooing comfort as the girl vomited again and again. Each bout racked her body and barely gave her time for a single breath before her body spewed forth more bright red liquid into the toilet. Her puking was so forceful; with each wave, she released a deep guttural hurling sound as her stomach attempted to ring out every last drop of the offensive liquid. She was completely at the mercy of her body. After her stomach was empty, she continued to dry heave—retching, gagging, coughing, and sobbing until abruptly she’d be thrown forward by another brutal heave that would at best bring up only a mouthful of bile. Finally, the dry heaves let up, and with one last weak gag, she spat into the toilet and pulled back, completely exhausted. Without thinking, Liz pulled her into her arms. 

The girl moaned.

“I know. That must've really hurt.”

“Oh my god, it hurt so bad. It still hurts so bad. My stomach. My stomach…” she whimpered

“Do you think having my hand on it would help?”

“Scared,” she whined

“No, sorry! That's okay! I don't want to hurt you.”

The girl looked into her eyes and, without breaking eye contact, gently guided Liz’s hand under her shirt to cup what had to be the softest, sweetest stomach in the world. The girl let out a soft “mmm” before her eyes fluttered closed. Almost immediately, she drifted off. Liz leaned against the wall, cradling the sleeping girl, feeling her gurgling, churning stomach gradually calm beneath her hand. Slowly, she, too, drifted off to sleep.

[scarlettjemily]

Mine - (Latch Chapter 2)

Latch - Chapter 1

Pairing: Emily Prentiss/Jennifer "JJ" Jareau

Summary: Set 5 years after their wedding. JJ gets injured in the field, causing both women to reminisce about how their relationship began.

Word Count: 3.3k

Posted on Ao3 as well

Emily practically ran to the ambulance when she heard JJ had been injured while the team was entering an unsubs house. She weaved through all the people, biting her tongue in the process; she wanted to snap at all these people to get the fuck out of her way, but she was still the unit chief of the BAU and had a level of professionalism to adhere to. “Jennifer? Jen, oh shit baby,” her professionalism flew out the window when she saw her wife with blood dripping down her face.

“Emily I’m fine; it’s not as bad as it looks,” JJ reassured, trying to stop Emily from overreacting. Although she knew that was just wasted energy, “Em, stop,” she huffed, gently pushing her wife’s hands away.

Emily was right in JJ’s face, trying to get a closer look at the cut on her forehead. “Did you do a concussion assessment? JJ, look at me, do you feel nauseous?” She completely ignored JJ’s objections. Her mind was solely focused on making sure JJ was okay. “We’re going to the hospital now; let’s go,” she went to climb into the ambulance, but JJ grabbed her arm, pulling her back down.

“Jesus Emily, I don’t need to go to the hospital. It’s just a cut; please stop making a fuss." JJ stood up, resting her hands on Emily’s shoulders. “I’ll just go home and rest; you know you can’t just leave yet. Go complete your chief duties, then come home.”

“Like hell, that’s happening!” Emily snapped; she grabbed JJ’s hand tightly and pulled her to the SUV. “Get in; we are going straight home. If you don’t want to go to the hospital, then I’m not letting you out of my sight,” she ripped off her FBI vest and threw it into the back seat before hopping into the driver's seat.

JJ huffed and threw her vest into the back with Emily’s. "Fine,” she grumbled, getting in the passenger seat. She knew there was no point arguing now; when Emily got into this mood, there was no stopping her. JJ sighed and let herself rest back into her chair, using the lever on the side to recline back slightly.

“Are you okay, baby? Are you feeling sick?” Emily said, in a softer voice than before. Her worry becoming more evident now that she’d calmed down.

JJ gave her a small reassuring smile, reaching over the center console and placing her hand on Emily’s thigh, giving it a squeeze. “I promise you I’m okay; it hurts, but I definitely don’t have a concussion. I wouldn’t lie to you about it, darling; I know how protective you are,” she remarked.

Emily let one of her hands fall away from the steering wheel so she could hold her wife’s hand. “A switch just flicks in me when you’re hurt; I can’t help it,” she replied, knowing full well she overreacted in the moment.

“I know exactly what you mean; don’t you remember how I was? Even before we were dating? That one case where you ran in guns fucking blazing and ended up getting caught,” she said, shaking her head at the memory.

Emily snickered, remembering how angry JJ was at her for running onto the scene without thinking. “If I remember correctly, me doing that kind of kick started our relationship, so maybe you should actually be thanking me,” she joked, the mood shifting now that the worry had somewhat dissipated.

“Emily! Get back here!” Rossi screamed, but there was no stopping her. She’d heard a woman’s voice screaming for help, and she couldn’t ignore it. With her gun raised, she kicked the door down and entered the house.

“What is she doing?!” JJ yelled, running up next to Rossi. “I’m going with her,” she insisted, about to run towards the house, but Rossi gripped her arm tightly, yanking her backwards.

“No way, you’re not going in there as well. We have no idea if he’s armed. Let’s wait until we hear from Emily,” Rossi commanded, taking charge of the situation.

JJ went to protest but got interrupted by a woman running out of the house. She expected to see Emily following behind her, but as the seconds passed, she was nowhere to be seen. JJ asked the woman what happened, trying to gauge if Emily was okay. “He’s got her; she told him to let me go, that he could have her instead,” she hysterically cried. “He’s crazy, he’s fucking crazy,” she kept repeating over and over. There was no use talking to her anymore; she was completely traumatised.

JJ kept pacing back and forth, every horrible scenario flashing through her mind. She involuntarily ran through every possibility of losing her best friend, and she was getting closer to completely losing it. “I can’t sit back and wait any longer, Dave; who knows what he’s doing to her in there?” she begged, her arm motioning to the house.

“Hey, I know you’re freaking out; she’s my teammate too,” Rossi said, trying to reason with her.

“She’s not just my teammate! She’s my…“ She trailed off. What was she? Her best friend? Her person? She didn’t know; all she knew was that if she lost Emily, she wouldn’t be able to cope with that.

“I know JJ, I know, you don’t need to say it,” he said quietly, like he was trying to say it so only JJ could hear him.

Everyone stopped when they heard 3 quick gunshots sound off from inside the house. Dave practically pushed JJ forward, both of them launching into a full sprint towards the entrance.

JJ held her gun up, moving quickly through the hallway. “Emily?! Emily, where are you?!” She yelled out. She walked into an open lounge, seeing a pool of blood. Emily was lying right in the middle of it, the unsub directly on top of her. They both weren’t moving. JJ’s heart pounded in her throat, a sob finding its way out. “No, Emily, no, no, no,” she sheathed her gun and dropped to her knees. She used all her strength to flip the unsub off of Emily, revealing gunshot wounds to his abdomen. There was too much blood; she couldn’t count how many times he’d been shot. She ignored her FBI duties and didn’t care to check his pulse; right now she only cared about Emily. Emily was covered in blood. JJ cried out, trying to find where the bullet had entered so she could apply pressure.

“JJ, I’m okay." Emily croaked out, "It's not my blood; it’s not my blood; it’s not my blood," she repeated multiple times because JJ wouldn’t stop crying. She got the wind completely knocked out of her when the unsub fell on top of her. They’d gotten into a physical fight; it was a complete blur. She just remembers seeing a knife, and the next moment she was firing.

JJ kept pressing her hands all over Emily’s stomach, frantically trying to find an open wound. She just couldn’t comprehend what Emily was saying to her.

“JJ stop! I’m okay, I’m not hurt, it’s not my blood,” Emily snapped, trying to get her attention. She sat up, gripped JJ's wrists, and tried to keep them still, not needing to put up too much of a fight now that she’d caught her breath. “Look at me, it’s not my blood,” she said again, this time slower, looking directly into JJ's eyes.

JJ stopped fighting and stared down at Emily; her cries kicked up a notch, but this time she fell into Emily, just needing to feel her in her arms. “I thought you were dead. I really, really thought you were dead,” she choked through hysterical sobs.

Emily held JJ in a tight hug, her arms locking around her waist. “I’m okay,” she huffed out, JJ's tight grip on her partially restricting her air flow.

“I can’t ever lose you, Emily,” JJ whispered into Emily’s ear. She didn’t care if anyone heard her; all her fear and doubt about her feelings disappeared in the moment. “I love you, Emily; I thought I lost you without telling you that I love you,” she confessed.

"Oh, darling, I know,” Emily consoled the younger woman, still holding her tightly. “I love you too, Jayje; god, I love you so much.” She couldn’t let go of JJ; she didn’t want to, not after they both just confessed their feelings. She truly had no idea if it would go anywhere, but she was so relieved she could finally get that off her chest.

"Hey,” Emily smiled, sitting down in the seat next to JJ. They were all on the jet, heading back home after the whole ordeal. JJ separated herself from the team in the furthest corner seat. Emily left her for a while, wanting to respect her choice of being alone, but their mutual confession was eating her alive.

"Hey,” JJ replied, tensing slightly. Her mind was overwhelmed, and when she looked at Emily, all she could think about was her lying in a pool of blood.

“Do you mind if I sit here with you?” She asked, always wanting to respect JJ’s choices.

JJ chuckled at the question; she was amused by it because there will never be a time where JJ would ever say no to having Emily sit beside her. "No, I don’t mind at all,” she replied, sitting up and turning her body so she was facing the woman next to her.

“I think we should talk about today,” Emily said, also turning slightly in her seat to face JJ. “A lot happened,” she continued.

“If you ever run into an unsubs house like that again, Emily, I’ll kill you myself,” JJ promised. She was mad about the way Emily handled it; her mind kept going back to the moment where she truly thought Emily was dead. “That was so stupid; you could’ve been killed,” she scolded the older woman.

Emily let out a guilt-stricken sigh; she wasn’t thinking at the time. “I’m sorry, I truly wasn’t thinking; I just acted. I had no idea it would turn out the way that it did, and I had no clue it would affect you this badly,” she ran her fingers through her hair, a nervous habit coming out subconsciously.

JJ looked at her with a screwed-up face. “Seriously, Emily? Of course it would affect me this badly! You’re telling me you wouldn’t be affected if roles were reversed and you thought I had died?” She demanded. Her body temperature was rising now; how could Emily be so clueless? Even if she didn’t know exactly how JJ felt, she still knew how important she was to her.

"No, of course I’d be affected, Jesus JJ. I don’t even know what I’d do if I’d lost you,” she stated, looking straight at her. “You’ve got to understand; I had no idea how you felt about me until today. I mean, I still don’t quite know,” she was hoping they could clarify a few things now.

“I told you I love you; what don’t you get about that?” JJ asked as if the answer was so obvious.

Emily rolled her eyes. “It’s not that simple, JJ. Do you love me as a friend? Or something more? Because when I said I loved you, I sure as hell didn’t mean as a friend,” she was working hard to hide the fear she was feeling; she didn’t know where this would go.

“Are you dense? Of course something more." JJ said quietly, moving in her chair so she was closer to Emily so only she could hear what she had to say. “I want you; I love you. When I saw you lying there in a pool of blood, I thought I’d lost you, and it made me realise that I need you, Emily; I need you to be mine.” She laid it all out on the table; she couldn’t get any clearer than what she was being.

Emily breathed out a quick ‘oh’ under her breath, more to herself than to JJ. Her mind was racing, and she had to cover her mouth; she didn’t want her face-eating grin to be so obvious. "JJ, are you sure? Because I’m not playing, I don’t think you understand how much you truly mean to me,” she admitted, needing clarification for the umpteenth time.

JJ rolled her eyes, grabbing Emily’s hand. “Emily Prentiss, I understand because I feel the exact same way.” She was begging Emily to believe her. “You have to trust me; please let me prove it to you.”

Emily squeezed JJ’s hand tightly, nodding her head. “Okay, okay, I trust you.”

"Jen, babe, do you want to rest on the couch or in the bedroom?” Emily asked, walking into the bathroom. JJ was standing in a towel in front of the mirror, brushing her freshly washed hair.

"Couch, please,” she replied, giving Emily a tired smile.

Emily still had residual worries from earlier in the day. “Are you sure you’re okay?” She questioned, walking over to JJ and instinctively going to check her head wound. “I have to admit, it doesn’t look as bad now that it’s clean,” she admitted, knowing she was slightly dramatic in the moment.

JJ chuckled, resting her cheek into Emily’s palm, which rested on her cheek. “I told you I was fine,” she teased, turning her head to plant a kiss on Emily’s palm. “Can you pick me out something comfy to wear, please?” She pleaded, with a pout she was working hard to put on.

Emily laughed and squeezed JJ’s cheeks with her hand, placing a quick kiss on her lips. “I already laid out an outfit for you, baby; come on,” she said, heading back out to their room so JJ could get dressed.

Both women were on the couch in their lounge. Emily was sitting surrounded by a bunch of paperwork and files. She was trying to complete the work she would’ve done after the case had wrapped, but of course she’d decided to stay with her wife. JJ was lying next to Emily, her feet tucked under Emily’s thigh. It was her favourite way to warm her feet up; it was also something she quite often did solely for comfort.

“Oh my god, JJ,” Emily said, holding up a piece of paperwork she was filling out.

JJ noticed the tone of voice and looked up at Emily, confused. “What? What’s wrong?” She asked, propping herself up on her elbows. Emily handed her the paper, telling her to look at the date. “Wait, that’s not today’s date, is it?” Emily chuckled and confirmed that it was. “Emily, we both forgot our anniversary?” She said, genuinely surprised that it had both slipped their minds. “And it’s our fifth anniversary too! Noo, I’m actually so sad about this,” she sighed, throwing the file down on the coffee table.

“Hey, no, come here." Emily cooed, pulling JJ by the hand. Her other half crawled over and straddled her lap, a sad look still occupying her face. “It was a mistake; we’ve both been super busy with this case; it doesn’t mean anything more than that." Emily tried to console JJ; she could already predict the thoughts that would be swirling through her mind. JJ tried to protest, but Emily stopped her. “Ah, no. I know exactly what you’re thinking, and it’s not true. It doesn’t mean we love each other any less or we are falling out of love. Shit honey, I love you more today than I did yesterday,” she declared, cupping JJ’s face.

“I just don’t want us to become one of those couples who don’t care about that kind of thing anymore; we get so used to being with each other that every day is the same until we eventually fall out of love with each other,” JJ had to admit. She was worried and slightly insecure; that’s exactly how her last marriage ended. Every day, exactly the same until they agreed they no longer loved each other anymore. She was terrified that that was going to happen to her and Emily; that would definitely kill her.

Emily pulled JJ closer to her body, the blonde hugging her tightly. She patted the back of JJ’s thighs. “Oh Jayje, I know you’re worrying about it, but you don’t need to; you’re stuck with me, my love. For the rest of our lives, okay?”

JJ let out a comforted sigh. She loved being reminded by her wife how much she loved her “promise?” She asked, seeking clarification again.

“What was it you told me all those years ago? You have to trust me; let me prove it to you.” Emily quoted JJ’s words from all those years ago; it was something she’d never forget.

"Okay, can I look now?” JJ asked, her hands covering her eyes. Emily was behind her, hands on her hips, guiding her where to walk.

Emily stopped JJ right at the entrance of their bedroom. She’d spent the last hour or so throwing something together so they could celebrate their anniversary. She wanted JJ to know that their relationship was still strong, regardless of whether or not they forgot their anniversary. “Okay, open your eyes,” she instructed, coming to stand next to JJ in the doorway. Her arm resting loosely around JJ's waist.

“It’s perfect, Emily; it’s so perfect,” she gushed, admiring their newly decorated bedroom. There were candles peppered all over the entire room, softly illuminating the space. She could see their favourite takeaway food, laid out on plates, set up on their bed. JJ smiled seeing their favourite comfort show already playing on the TV.

"Look, it’s nothing like what we usually do, but I think it’s not bad considering what I was working with,” Emily admitted sheepishly, moving to sit on the bed, guiding JJ over by her hand.

"Gosh, I’m so lucky I have you." JJ gushed, climbing up on the bed and moving to sit in between Emily’s legs; the positioning was now a subconscious decision between the two.

The woman sat there together, Emily’s arms around JJ's waist, JJ feeding the both of them an assortment of food. They were happy and content, not needing anything fancy to enjoy the love they shared for one another.

“You promise we will be together forever?” JJ whispered.

They were both lying under the covers, facing each other, their bodies and limbs tangled together in a position that could’ve resembled a pretzel. The room was dark, but they could just see each other’s faces; the candles had almost all burned out by now.

“I promise my love, there’s nothing in this world that could ever make me fall out of love with you,” Emily proclaimed. Her hand tucked some stray hair behind her wife’s ear; she couldn’t help running her thumb over JJ's bottom lip. She tended to do that innately, whenever she was admiring the features of her face. She understood why JJ may be worried; her history with her ex-husband could easily explain her insecurities.

“I don’t ever want to lose you,” JJ almost pleaded, her eyes getting hot as her anxiety level rose internally.

Emily shook her head, her hand finding its way into JJ's hair, pulling her head closer so she could plant a kiss on her wife’s forehead. “I’m yours, forever,” she mumbled against the warm skin, being careful of the cut on her head.

JJ smiled when she heard that. “Mine,” she replied, pressing her lips to Emily’s. Her hand slipping under the hem of Emily’s shirt, the warmth of her skin helping JJ ground herself in the moment.

Emily groaned when JJ began to kiss down her jawline, making a path to her ear. "Fuck,” she whispered when JJ bit her earlobe, all while repeating 'mine’ over and over. "Yours,” she breathed out, shivers running through her body. She could just feel how much JJ loved her in this moment.

"Mine,” JJ said once more, finding Emily's lips, kissing her deeply; any worries she’d had were washed away almost instantly.

[welcometololaland]

WIP WORKING WEEK PART 1: THE RING-IN (AGAIN) (not sure if this is 57 sentences exactly but here you go - TK, Carlos and Nancy go to a spin cycle class, and TK and Carlos assess the quality of the restrooms).

The spin cycle class is exactly as TK expects – sweaty, loud and full of middle aged women who are far better at riding a stationary bike than he is. On the upside, he gets to sneak looks at Carlos every thirty seconds and appreciate another perfect part of his husband’s physique: the way the muscles in his shoulders flex as he shifts the distribution of his weight, the tight swell of his ass in workout shorts, the way his skin looks golden in the dim lights, glittering with sweat. 

On the downside, so does everybody else.

Carlos is so distracting that the instructor has trouble maintaining control over the class. Despite their spin bike prowess, many of the women seem to be gradually losing interest in the class as Carlos gets increasingly sweaty. At some point, the music gets turned up, as does the instructor’s mic, trying to redirect attention to the fact that they’re supposed to be changing their resistance every few minutes. On a quick glance, TK suspects a fair few people haven’t gone up a level for half the class.

TK isn’t typically the jealous type. In fact, he feels vindicated by the attention Carlos gets because he finds the man borderline irresistible, and being in love with such a gorgeous creature has made him do some pretty insane things. Even so, there’s a limit to how much appreciation he can endure before he feels the need to savagely stake his claim.

“Stop looking like you want to murder that poor woman in her sleep,” Nancy says through laboured breaths. They’re just about to get back out of the saddle, although TK has sort of lost which part of the class they’re up to.

“Her jaw is practically on the floor,” TK mutters. “Do you think she could pick it up one of these days?”

“You can’t seriously be jealous of Janice over there,” Nancy snorts. “Have you forgotten that your husband is completely obsessed with you? He bought you a pet lizard the other day.”

“Bearded dragon,” TK corrects. “And the fact that Carlos loves me isn’t going to stop me informing the entire class that he’s gay and he’s mine.”

Nancy rolls her eyes, blinking as the sweat from her brow appears to momentarily blind her. “You need to cool down,” she says drily. “Go outside and then come back in when you’re ready to play nicely with the other children.”

“What? And look like I suck?!” TK protests. “I’m not giving Janice the satisfaction.”

“You do kinda suck,” Nancy mutters, “also – and I say this in the nicest way possible – no one is looking at you.”

“I’ve changed my mind,” TK snipes as he stops pedalling and hops off the spin bike, plucking his water bottle from the holder like it’s personally offended him. “Also, you suck.”

“Don’t forget your towel!” Nancy snickers, and then wobbles dangerously on her bike as TK pulls it off with a flourish. He feels like a matador tempting a bull, because the instructor gives him a very dirty look.

TK has to admit, once he’s back in the cool, heavily air-conditioned hallway, he starts to feel a lot better. There’s something about getting sweaty in a room full of other sweaty people that grosses him out a bit and he’s admittedly not the best at being told what to do. Unless it’s at his job, but that’s because he respects his father and Tommy more than he respects most people. A hell of a lot more than he respects any spin cycle instructor, at least.

“Hey,” Carlos says, dropping down onto the bench seat next to him. “What’s up? Are you okay?”

TK takes one look at him and wishes he didn’t, because the concern written into Carlos’ expression combined with his sweat-slicked curls and the big, irresistible brown eyes renders him completely weak.

“Yeah,” he replies. “Just sick of how good you look. Also, I don’t like spin cycle.”

Carlos arches an eyebrow. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“Yes, you did,” TK mutters under his breath, but loses his train of thought completely as Carlos cups his cheek in one hand.

“You don’t like getting sweaty with me?” he asks, and although it sounds innocent, the wink that accompanies is anything but.

“Careful,” TK warns. “The restrooms are less than twenty feet away and I’m very frustrated.”

Carlos drops his hand and looks over his shoulder, before turning back to TK with a coy smile. “Think there’s anyone in them right now? The class is fully booked and it looks like the reception area is empty.”

TK stares, mouth watering. “Who are you, and what have you done with my husband?”

“Well,” Carlos replies mildly. “You must be rubbing off on me.”

“I’ll show you something else I can rub off,” TK smirks, before taking Carlos’ hand and tugging him towards the door.

[doctorvictoria10]

James and Alana

Tags: Vaccination

It was flu season, which meant all the hospital staff were required to have their annual flu vaccines to protect their patients and reduce their own sick time if they got infected.

The vaccine nurse patrolled the corridors every morning, vaccinating any staff that were unfortunate enough to be in her path. She had a list. A long list of names, every clinical staff member was on it and by now the majority of them had a big green tick next to their name. Vaccinated, done. Only a few remained, mostly those who weren’t full time or were off sick themselves. Although a few names lingered, ones that she definitely should’ve bumped into by now.

Her next priority was Doctor James Green. He was a graduate doctor and she was sure he was working nearly 90 hours a week, there was no reason she couldn’t find him.

She looked everywhere, patient rooms, staff room, the toilet. He was nowhere to be found. She was beginning to grow frustrated that her time was being wasted looking for someone who either wasn’t working as many hours as he was scheduled, or was avoiding her. Feeling defeated, she pulled over her cart at the nursing station. A young nurse sat at the desk, typing frantically whilst her brown hair swung slightly in her ponytail as she occasionally looked up from her keyboard.

“Hi there, I’m the vaccine nurse, have you seen Doctor Green? I’ve been looking for him all morning! He’s due his vaccine and we seem to keep missing each other.” She spoke.

The nurse looked up from her computer. “Um, I saw him earlier, he assessed one of my patients for me but I haven’t seen him for a while. I’ll keep my eyes out for him and send him your way if I see him!” She replied cheerfully.

“Thank you.” The vaccine nurse spoke and began to walk her cart off the ward, heading back down to her office.

Alana grabbed her bag out of her locker and headed down towards the canteen. She was starving, it had been a morning and she’d barely stopped. As the lift doors opened and she saw how many people were crammed into the small lift, she decided to take the stairs. It was 5 floors down she needed to go, but going down was never bad, it was coming back up that was exhausting. Opening the heavy fire door to the stairs she paused. A tall, broad, blonde haired man stood with his arms crossed across his body, in a strange position.

“James? What are you doing out here on the stairs?” She asked, confused.

“Um, I just needed a little air! Are you okay?” He asked back, seemingly taken off guard, not expecting to see her.

“Yeah I’m fine, just heading for lunch. You know the vaccine nurse was looking for you right? She’s got everyone keeping their eyes out for you.” She laughed as she approached him.

His usual confident posture was slightly slouched and a worried look crept over his face.

“Ah,” Alana spoke gently. “That’s why you’re on the stairs. You're hiding? You know I’d never pick you to be scared of needles!” She joked, but he didn’t return her smile.

“James, it’s really not that bad! Promise! I’ll walk down with you to her office if you like?” She offered.

“No, I’ve decided I don’t want it. I’m really not good with needles.” He replied anxiously.

“But you want the medicine right? If you could have the medicine without the needle, would you?” She asked.

“Well, yes.” He spoke slowly.

“Okay. So you’re going to get this vaccine! It’s not going to be bad! Do you want me to do it for you? There’s a couple of rooms free on the ward. We have stock in the clinical fridge. Won’t take us a moment?” She offered again, trying to help the scared looking man in front of her.

“No, honestly I’m fine!” He tried to refuse, but his sandy blonde hair hung into his blue eyes as he kept his head bowed, and Alana couldn’t help but feel sorry for him, he really was scared!

“James. She’s going to find you and give it to you whether you want it or not you know? If you say no it’s going to be a whole thing. You don’t want all the nurses and other doctors knowing you’re scared of needles do you? This doesn’t have to be a big deal.” She tried to coax him but he still wouldn’t look at her. They were probably the same age, and if she hadn’t already been married when she met him, she could have easily asked him out on a date.

Not taking no for an answer, she reached out for his hand and held it firmly in hers. It was clammy and cold, her warm hand held it tightly. “Come on, follow me. We’re going to get this done, then, I’m going to buy you a coffee as a reward. I’ll call the nurse and let her know you’ve had it.” She spoke confidently as she began to turn, pulling him with her.

“Can’t you just put a bandaid on my arm and call her and say you’ve done it?” He started, panic starting to fill his voice.

“Nope. We’ve got to do it! It’s for your own good, and you know that. It’ll be okay, I promise.” She paused, letting him look at the confidence and determination in her eyes. Strangely he seemed to settle a little, seeing that she wasn’t backing down and it wasn’t even his choice anymore. He nodded slightly and let her lead him back up the flight of stairs towards the door and into the ward.

The empty ward room was basic. Bed, sink, tiny window. James looked around, reluctant to actually step inside and seal his fate. Alana gestured to him to come inside and guided him to sit on the bed.

“I’m just going to get some bits. Stay here.” She ordered and gave him a firm look before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

She prepared the vaccine in the clinical room and covered it with a piece of gauze so her scared patient wouldn’t be able to catch a glimpse of it and freak himself out even more.

As she walked back to the room, she wondered if he’d still be there or if he would have made a run for it, deciding to face hers and the vaccine nurses' wrath together. She was pleasantly surprised when she saw him still perched on the bed, but unfortunately looking a little pale.

“It’s okay James, it’s not going to be bad and it’s going to be all over with so soon, just relax, yeah?” She spoke calmly. As she went to lift up his blue scrub top over his nicely defined bicep he let out a whimper and covered the exposed arm with his large hand.

Alana took in the sight. Poor thing, she thought. But it really was for his own good, and she knew he’d cope better with her doing it than the vaccine nurse.

“Let’s move this hand out of the way, hm?” She asked rhetorically as she moved his hand away from his arm and down into his lap. She kept hold of his wrist whilst she quickly wiped the area with a cleaning pad.

“Okay, look away now. Nice deep breaths.” She instructed as she let go of his wrist and gently turned his head away with her hand. She uncapped the needle and watched him closely for a few seconds, assessing if he was going to move. He didn’t, she smiled slightly.

Pinching the muscle between her index finger and thumb, he began to whimper as he knew the needle was coming. “You’re okay, you’re okay. Little scratch.” She cooed, swiftly inserting the needle and depressing the plunger, forcing the thick medicine into his muscle.

He let out another whine as it began to burn a little and she gently shushed him. “All done!” She declared, pulling out the needle and applying a tiny round bandaid.

She tilted his head towards her with her hand “Are you okay? You did great!” Alana smiled warmly.

He nodded and then smiled back. “Yeah, thank you. That actually wasn’t too bad! Can you do it again for me next year?” He laughed lightly, and she laughed with him.

“Haha, sure I will! Now do you want a sticker for being such a brave boy?” She mocked jokingly, holding up a sheet of brightly coloured ‘I was brave stickers’.

“Actually I do! I’ll have the orange one please!” He laughed back, and took the sticker from her fingers and stuck it proudly on his scrub top next to his stethoscope.

“Coffee?” She asked brightly, hoping he’d be keen.

“Coffee sounds amazing. Hiding in staircases is thirsty work!” He replied and they both laughed. 🖤

[masterthespianduchovny]

It’s really fascinating that whenever people are pressed by a ship it’s always 1. Why can’t men and women just be friends??? 2. Shippers clearly weren’t paying attention to the story.

Just say you don’t like the ship and own that shit. Stop trying to condescend and pretend people who ship two characters aren’t paying attention or, in the case of Freya and Kratos, are ignoring their backstories, which is far from the case.

When it comes to Kratos, just because he’s still mourning his wife’s death doesn’t mean he cannot move on or that he wouldn’t fall in love with someone, in this case Freya, unplanned. Faye tells him to open his heart and himself to the world so that he has an actual relationship with his son and fulfilling relationships with others in general. It stands to reason that a man who is in the process of doing that might fall in love with someone, esp someone he has such a deep connection with.

Before Kratos found out that Freya was a god, he clearly distrusted her the least and was opening up to her in a way he hadn’t with anyone besides his wives. Then he finds out that she’s a god and is angry with her and closes himself off again. When Atreus gets sick, despite his poor behavior, he goes to her and literally trusts her with his son’s life. Literally the most important person to him. Kratos is distraught and goes to HER. If he truly distrusted her that wouldn’t have happened. He felt played and was angry as a result.

He believes so much in the goodness of Freya, despite his past with gods and her concealing her identity, that he kills her son against her wishes. He regrets hurting her, but not choosing her life over Baldur’s. Kratos�� care is so deep for her, it extends even years later when she’s actively trying to kill him. Kratos literally refuses to hurt or kill her and only fights back to defend himself.

Kratos unashamedly compliments and comforts Freya and isn’t coy about it in the least bit. He finds her admirable and says it’s plainly.

Yes, men and women can be just friends, but honestly, these two are tinged with sexual tension. There’s this intimacy that exists between them that makes it hard to see it as remaining just platonic.

Which leads to Freya. Although Kratos killed her son, deep down she knows that it was necessary and that her anger at him was a projection of how her actions led to this as well as her shit marriage with Odin. As much as she loved her son, he made the world as worse place. This was partially (or mostly) a consequence of her trying to protect him from all harm, which fucked up him mental then emotional state. Add to having Odin as a father, a monster was created.

Because of her banishment at the hands of Odin as well as the shit he pulled during their marriage—only giving her a child to control her, I believe—all she had ti keep her going was Baldur’s safety and protection. Her mind was distorted due to her hostile circumstances. She literally couldn’t protect herself even if she tried and was locked away in an u familiar land. Cut off from her brother and her people.

We get hints that Freya doesn’t hate Kratos as much as she wants to believe. There’s so much subtleties and nuances in their interactions and how she has to fight his advice and being endeared to him. When he helps free her from Odin’s spell, she calls a truce between them. After that, her hostility melts towards him even though she says she can never forgive him.

Freya pleads for Kratos to fight against Odin and even makes him head of the army. She explicitly trust him with her life and of that of the nine realms. After she is free from Odin’s magic, she never uses Baldur against Kratos at all.

And I honestly do believe she forgave him completely because kratos knew what it was like to be betrayed and manipulated by a god and lose a child. He did not want to kill Baldur, it was a necessity, one that I believe she accepts. Him revealing that personal stuff about his daughter softens Freya in her assessment of him.

Freya reveals to him that she’d have another child if the opportunity presented itself. Considering that he’s the man that killed her only child, that says a lot. Why would she even reveal this to him? It has nothing to do with romance, but her trust in him. He’s a confidant and someone she feels not only comfortable around, but is okay with being vulnerable with.

She constantly laughs and jokes with him and feels more comfortable around him than Mimir. Again, Kratos is the man who killed her son, where as mimir suggested the marriage between her and Odin. Later, she is friends with mimir, but it’s telling that she’s closer to Kratos before she is with mimir. She’s also very complimentary towards him as well.

Rather than going off and doing her own thing, Freya chooses to help Kratos rebuild society, which isn’t some light commitment. She’s literally going to be spending fucking years alongside Kratos helping him rebuild society.

Like it’s so obvious that she forgave Kratos, esp when compared to Odin who she admitted to relishing in the reality of watching him lose everything in the end.

And we also see her defend and protect Kratos against Gna after ragnarok.

Like, yes, they’re friends, but this can evolve into something else considering their histories with each other, how deeply they care for one another, and even though lose informs their behaviors, they’re no longer defined by it. Both see paths as to having futures after their losses and despite how they were defined/perceived in the world. So we can’t fall back on him still needing to mourn Faye or Freya being unable to forgive him for Baldur.

This is all assuming that they get together right away rather than over time. I don’t think those feelings would be obvious, but would make sense once they realized that something has changed for both of them.

So it’s really strange how shippers are framed as ignoring context and backstories to push a ship when the narrative makes it clear that Freya has forgiven Kratos and will being spending a shit ton of time with him. She can’t forgive him for Baldur, but literally put the life of humanity in his hands, protects him, travels alongside and rebuilds society with him, compliments him, reveals her deepest secrets to him, served as support about him wife and son (even the first set of wife and child), yet the idea that she could never move past him killing her son is the crux of the argument as to why Freya would never get would Kratos?

Although some arguments can be made, imo, there’s more evidence that that’s just not the case.

And Kratos moving on isn’t impossible since he has done so before. He needs someone who he trusts and that understands him and that he cared about…hmm…wonder who fits that criteria.

[thenovelartist]

Life After Destruction - Chapter 4 - Honkai: Star Rail

<Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter>

Dan Heng was used to Stelle clinging to garbage cans. It was rather tragic that he considered it normal to watch his scavenger of a wife digging through… whatever she could find.

That said, Dan Heng was very unused to Stelle throwing up in said garbage can. The only thing he could do at present was hold her hair out of her face and rub her back.

“Should I go grab water or something?” March asked, looking on with concern.

“Please do,” Dan Heng said.

“I saw a vending machine back there. I’ll be back.” Having been given a mission other than standing around and watching helplessly over her sick friend, March took off.

“I’m fine,” Stelle weakly murmured, finally pushing herself away from the can.

“You are most certainly not,” Dan Heng countered. “Let’s go sit down.”

Stelle didn’t argue as she followed him over to a bench across the street. Once there, she plopped heavily down on the seat.

Dan Heng knelt down before her, pressing his wrist to her forehead to assess her temperature. “You don’t feel warm, but you do look flushed.”

“I don’t know what’s going on,” she muttered, hanging her head in her hands. “I know I wasn’t feeling great at our last stop, either. I might have caught something from the stop before.”

That was true. Stelle had been a little off during their last mission, but she’d pushed through with no problem. With the amount of rest she’d gotten during their intergalactic travel, Dan Heng had honestly thought she’d be fine to go on this mission.

Unfortunately, he’d been wrong.

“I’m back!” March made a prompt reappearance, a water bottle in hand. “Here.”

“Thanks.” Stelle took it with a small smile before taking a few tentative sips from the bottle.

“Are you feeling okay now?” March asked, sitting next to Stelle.

“Mostly?”

“Mostly is good,” March said, trying to be positive but unable to erase all worry from her expression. “Do you think you’ll be okay to continue?”

“I think so. Whatever that sewage smell was just set me off.”

“I think that was food,” March responded, her nose wrinkled in disgust.

Dan Heng would have to agree with the assessment. A greasy, gamey smell did fill the air, courtesy of a food cart they had just passed. However, he had to admit that the line to said cart despite the smell of it was impressive. “As much as I agree that it was an odd smell, I’m concerned for your reaction. Particularly when you have the ability to ignore those kinds of off-putting smells.”

“That’s true,” March agreed. “You’ve dug through things I can’t even get near.”

Stelle chuckled nervously, screwing the lid back on the mostly full bottle.

Which was concerning. “You should drink more,” Dan Heng said.

Stelle shook her head, her brow scrunched in disgust. “My mouth is still watering a little. I’m trying to keep everything down.”

Dan Heng shared a worried glance with March. 

“Hey,” March tentatively started. “Um… It’s not too early to sit this one out if you’re not feeling up to it.”

“I can take it,” Stelle argued. “Just give me a day. Maybe I’ll get over it.”

Dan Heng hummed doubtfully. “And maybe it will take a while longer for you to recover because you’re pushing yourself.”

Although Stelle’s glare proved she didn’t like his assessment, she also didn’t counter it.

Dang it, he didn’t like doing this to Stelle, but her health was more important. “I’m putting you on a three-strikes system. You show signs of sickness, it’s one strike. Three, and I’m personally escorting you back to the Express.”

Defiantly, Stelle held his gaze for a while before she scoffed in surrender. “Fine. That’s probably the best deal I’m getting out of you.”

“Also, that was strike one.”

Stelle rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine.”

He would ignore her attitude for now. “Do you need to wait a moment longer?”

­­­­­“I’m okay.”

With a nod, Dan Heng stood up, offering a hand to her.

She took it, using it to steady herself as she stood. And then didn’t let it go.

Not that there was anything wrong with her holding his hand, but he was concerned with the way she was leaning so heavily on it to steady herself.

March didn’t seem to notice, though. “Just so you know, I’ll be keeping an eye on you, too. Nothing gets past the Great Detective March.”

Stelle smirked. “The Great Detective March has only minorly improved in four years. I’ll take my chances.”

“Mean!”

Dan Heng grinned in amusement. Well, he’d take sassy Stelle over sick Stelle if it meant she was perking back up again.

Unfortunately, it did not last long.

Those next two strikes came quickly, with Stelle dry heaving once more before she almost passed out completely. They were lucky to have found themselves near a clinic.

“You might just be dehydrated,” the doctor said having examined Stelle. “It is dry here, and this fresh heatwave is likely exacerbating your symptoms. I can give you an IV for now while you rest here.”

“I’d rather just go back to the Express,” she said. “I can get water there.”

Dan Heng then held up her water bottle, one that was still half full. “If it isn’t too much of a hassle, I’d rather she have the IV. Considering she can’t seem to keep water down.”

“You always give it to me right after I gag and my stomach’s still queasy.”

“Then drink it now,” he challenged. “And I’ll let it go.”

She took the bottle hesitantly, unscrewing the lid, and taking a sip. Only to purse her lips as though it was a struggle.

The doctor hummed disapprovingly. “I’ll go get a drip and be right back. Last thing I’d want is for a patent of mine to get heat stroke.” With that, he left the room.

Stelle pouted in betrayal.

“Don’t be mad at him,” Dan Heng warned. “If you’re feeling queasy, then you get the treatment you need.”

With a huff, Stelle put the lid back on her bottle. She still had a quarter left, but Dan Heng supposed that was better than before.

“I messaged Mr. Yang about the situation,” March said from her seat in the corner of the room. “He said he can come take over for Stelle.”

“Inform him that I’ll bring Stelle back to the Express and that I’ll stay with her. He and Himeko can take over.”

March gave him a nod. “Okay.”

Stelle spoke up, “But won’t it be a hassle to explain everything to both of them?” 

“Not really,” March dismissed. “We’ve had way more hectic adventures. This one seems pretty straightforward.”

“Furthermore,” Dan Heng continued. “The people here know us and are willing to cooperate. I think this case will get closed quickly once we find where the stellaron is located.”

Dejected, Stelle nodded.

“As much as I hate to say this,” Dan Heng continued. “I think you should sit the next mission out, too. After that, we can reassess.”

“Can’t we just reassess after this mission?”

“If you were just tired, I would say so, but with you throwing up, this marks two consecutive missions where your health has declined.”

At that, Stelle frowned.

Before Dan Heng could respond, the doctor returned, dragging an IV stand along with him. “Alright,” he said, sitting down in the seat next to the examination bed. “Arm out, please.”

Stelle submitted, allowing the doctor to clean off a section of skin before sticking an IV into her arm.

“Alright, that’ll take some time, so enjoy your rest for the time being.”

“Okay.”

At Stelle’s lackluster response, the doctor gave her a sympathetic smile. “You’re a bit of a go-getter, aren’t ya?”

“Her and that one both,” Dan Heng said, motioning to March sitting in the corner.

“Hey!” March cried. “Leave me out of this!”

“March,” Stelle said. “For that, why don’t we leave him behind next mission?”

“That sounds like a great idea. As long as you’re not throwing up.”

Dan Heng smirked. “That’s two against one.”

“Traitor,” she grumbled at March.

“Yeah, like you haven’t done that to me before,” March countered, sticking her tongue out at her.

“Hence, it’s decided,” Dan Heng said. “You’re not going on that mission.”

Stelle pouted. “That’s still to be determined."

“Then you best recover quickly,” Dan Heng said. “And even if you do somehow get past me, you’ll have to get past Welt and Himeko.”

Stelle rolled her eyes.

With a sigh, Dan Heng patted the top of her head. “Sorry,” he said. “But with as many missions as we have lined up after this, we need you to take your time to properly recover.”

“As much as I hate to admit it,” March chimed in, “Dan Heng does have a point. It’s not like there’s going to be a shortage of stellaron crises for you to help out on.”

Beside them, the doctor hummed. “If it will give you a little peace of mind, I can take a bloodwork panel to see if it’s more than just dehydration. It’s the least we can do considering your assistance in getting this awful stellaron off our planet. You might just be a little low on nutrients if you’ve been busy as you say.”

Dan Heng looked to Stelle. “You up for it?”

Stelle just sighed. “I guess I already have to have a needle in my arm. And I’m not exactly going anywhere.”

“Then if you wouldn’t mind,” Dan Heng told the doctor. “We would appreciate it.”

March stood from her seat, clearly getting anxious to move again. “Do you want me to go back to the Express and get Mr. Yang and Himeko up to speed?” March offered.

Dan Heng nodded. “Might as well. Stelle and I will be here a while. I’ll tell you when we’re headed back.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

~~~

As predicted, their mission had finished up quickly. The Astral Express and the Nameless that rode on it had garnered quite a reputation across the galaxy, which helped in getting people to cooperate with them on stellaron missions.

Stellaron missions Stelle had been temporarily banned from.

Why? Oh. Because her bloodwork had come back and incorrectly marked her as “pregnant.”

Knowing it was impossible, Dan Heng had dove into researching what kind of health problems she could possibly have to have been given a false positive. And so, because she had a worrywart of a husband (and best friend and family at large) she’d been taken off the exploration roster until they could get an answer.

Which sucked.

Thankfully, they only had one other mission before they needed to stop at Herta’s Space Station for an inventory restock. And while they were restocking supplies, Dan Heng had dragged her to the med ward for examination.

Stelle was not looking forward to being trapped there again, being poked and prodded and examined. Unfortunately, such was her lot in life.

The first day, they couldn’t find anything, so they drained her blood like a mosquito with the plan of running a more intensive panel than she'd previously been given and getting back to her the next day.

Well, it was the next day, and she was not happy with the results.

“You can be mad at me all you want,” Dan Heng quipped as they made their way back to the med ward. “But don’t be snippy at the doctors. They’re only trying to help.”

“I’m not snippy.”

“Uh-huh.”

Stelle huffed. “It’s just… frustrating.”

“Because they labeled you as pregnant again?”

“Yes! And I know you’re not gonna let up until we find out what’s going on, and neither Welt nor Himeko will clear me to go on missions until then.”

“I understand why you’re frustrated, but Himeko has already decided the Astral Express is not going to leave until we get an answer.”

“That’s worse.” Because here she was, holding up the Astral Express crew again because of her medical issues.

“Then let’s hope they can give you a diagnosis today so you can focus on recovering,” Dan Heng responded.

Stelle groaned, yet still marched along with Dan Heng to the med ward. “They’re probably going to wonder why I want more tests. What do we say when they ask how I know I’m not pregnant? That you’re sterile?”

Dan Heng nodded.

“Hopefully they don’t imply I cheated on you or something.”

“They shouldn’t. They’re professionals.”

“We’ve run into some… interesting people on our travels.”

Dan Heng paused. “Yes, unfortunately,” he agreed with a sigh. “But you know these people. They’re different.”

“If you say so.”

“Stelle, they saved your life. I know you hate it here, but they are only doing their best for you.”

“Don’t give me a stupid guilt trip.”

Upon arriving at the med ward, they were greeted by faces Stelle was a little too familiar with for her liking. Despite hating it here, Stelle would put on a nice face, be polite, and explain why she’d returned. Upon finishing her explanation of the situation, she and Dan Heng were swiftly shown to one of the examination rooms.

They didn’t talk much while they waited, each too on edge to really bother with conversation. But soon enough, a woman pushing a cart entered the room.

“Hey, Stelle,” the doctor greeted, shutting the room door behind her. “Hopefully you didn’t wait too long.”

“Actually, you were really fast today,” Stelle responded. “It seemed empty.”

“It’s what happens when we are fully staffed and the station runs smoothly,” she returned with a grin. She then sat down on the stool next to the examination bed. “So, the first test I wanted to start with is an ultrasound. Before we go on digging any deeper, I’d like to confirm you’re not pregnant or have any anomalies I should be aware of.”

With a sigh, Stelle laid back on the examination bed. “If you must.”

The woman gave her a sympathetic smile as she started up the machine. “If you could lift up your shirt and lower your waistband slightly for me.”

Stelle did as told, exposing her abdomen while the doctor prepared the wand. Dan Heng then took hold of Stelle’s hand, giving it a light squeeze as though to remind her he was always there.

She returned the favor, a hint of guilt bubbling up in her for the way she'd treated him earlier. Ultimately, she knew he didn’t deserve her attitude when he only did this because he cared. She’d apologize to him later.

Soon enough, the doctor was pressing the wand over Stelle’s abdomen, staring intently at a screen Stelle couldn’t see. But when the doctor paused, her brow furrowing, Stelle clung to Dan Heng’s hand tighter out of worry.

The doctor looked over to Dan Heng. “You said you were sterile?” she asked.

“Yes,” he answered hesitantly. “Why?”

She opened her mouth but couldn’t seem to get any words out. “Because,” she finally spoke, turning the screen towards them. “There’s the baby.”

Stelle’s stomach dropped. Baby? What baby?

“See?” The doctor began pointing at the screen. “There’s the head, then here’s the body.”

Faintly, she could feel Dan Heng’s hand tighten on hers, but the world seemed to disappear from around her.

There was a baby.

No… there was no way…

“You look to be about twelve weeks along, give or take.”

“Twelve weeks…” Dan Heng quietly muttered before covering his mouth with his hand.

The doctor nodded, suddenly looking concerned. “I can’t see anything concerning. It looks to be progressing normally. Um…” She turned to Dan Heng. “I know you said you were sterile, but… is there any possibility that’s not the case? Or… uh, should I leave the room for a bit? For you to talk.”

Words seemed to completely fail Stelle. She didn’t even know how to respond to that. This was impossible for her to be pregnant. Dan Heng couldn’t have knocked her up, but the ultrasound didn’t lie. So how…

“No,” Dan Heng shakily spoke, snapping Stelle out of her thoughts. “No, I… It’s fine.” Again, he ran a hand over his mouth, his eyes locked on the screen.

She couldn’t blame him. Her eyes were pretty much stuck there, too.

The doctor gave them a sympathetic smile. “This must come as quite a shock to you both. But I do believe a congratulations is in order.”

Was it? Maybe that was the normal thing to do. Stelle didn’t know, nor could she really process anything at this point.

From there, the rest of the visit was a blur. Absently, Stelle realized the doctor had given her a laundry list of things pregnant women needed to know before handing Stelle two things: a large pamphlet outlining everything she’d just said and pictures of the ultrasound.

With that, she and Dan Heng slowly started making their way back to the Express.

They only made it halfway there before Stelle felt like she might just break down in the currently empty hallway. “I… I need a minute.”

Dan Heng stopped, allowing Stelle to collapse back against a wall for support. She ran her hands down her face, ignoring the papers that were getting crumpled in her hands.

Papers that disappeared as Dan Heng pulled them away. When she looked back up at him, she saw the concern etched into his expression. She swallowed, her hands shaking and stomach churning and head spinning. “I’m pregnant.” Her whispered words were like a confession and realization all at once, hitting harder than a blast from the Anti-matter Legion.

“I… I know,” Dan Heng responded, his voice shaky. “I don’t know how, but…”

Blinking up at him, she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes as she reached to grab his jacket. “I really didn’t cheat on you,” she said.

“I know,” he assured, cradling the back of her head and pulling her forward to rest his forehead against hers. “I know it has to be mine. I just… I don’t understand…”

“I don’t either.”

They stood there for a moment, just leaning on each other for support as they tried to navigate their world now that it had tilted on its head. Her illness, which had prevented her from going on missions, was because a baby was growing inside of her. Which was… better(?) than any of the other illnesses the crew of the Express had thought she could possibly have.

That’s when it struck her. “Dan Heng, how are we going to tell the others?”

Dan Heng stiffened under her touch.

“They know you can’t reproduce. They’ll never believe this.”

“I… I don’t know. We’ll… ugh…” He grimaced. “Let’s… let’s go back to the Express and talk this over. We…” He roughly raked a hand through his hair. “Aeons, you’re really pregnant.”

Mirthlessly, she chuckled, feeling on the brink of losing her mind. “Yeah. I know.”

“I don’t even know how to process this.” With a heavy sigh, he dropped his hand. “Okay, Express. We’ll talk about how to break it to the crew. We’ll have to tell Bailu, too; she’ll want to know. Maybe she can help figure out how—”

He stopped, his eyes suddenly growing wide.

It took Stelle only a little longer to realize why. She was three months along, give or take, which would place it back to… “Bailu’s medicine.”

“There’s no way,” Dan Heng breathed out.

Her heart was racing. “Can you think of any other reason?”

Obviously not considering he sputtered like a fish out of water. “We have to tell Bailu.”

“Like, now.”

~~~

Dan Heng’s head was spinning. Stelle was pregnant, and it was very likely because of the little vidyadhara they were currently calling.

Stelle sat on the opposite side of the little table in their bedroom, anxiously tapping her hands against the table while they waited for the call to go through. Between them sat Dan Heng’s phone, set on speaker.

Finally, the ringer dropped. “Hello? Dan Heng?”

“Uh… hi, Bailu.” His voice wouldn’t steady, but neither would his hands or his heart. After all, Stelle was pregnant with his child, and he was a mess. “Er, Stelle’s here, too.”

“Hey, Bailu,” she greeted, her voice just as shaky as his.

There was a pause on the other end of the line. “Something feels very wrong,” Bailu deadpanned.

Dan Heng took a deep breath, preparing to tell Bailu the news—

“I’m pregnant.”

—Only Stelle beat him to the punch.

“Oh,” Bailu said, her voice light. “Congra—”

And then there was a beat of silence as it hit her.

“Wait, wait, wait! What?! What do you mean pregnant?!”

“She means that despite all odds, she is carrying my child,” Dan Heng answered, his heart doing a weird flip in his chest.

“HOW?” Bailu screeched. “That’s impossible. Vidyadhara can’t reproduce!”

“That’s why we’re calling you,” Dan Heng continued. “Because if we trace back the weeks to conception, it aligns with the time we…” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Assisted you in testing your fertility medicine.”

The phone went silent.

“So,” Dan Heng continued. “I wanted to inquire about it further. And what you’ve discovered about it in your experiments.”

There was a frantic rustling on the other end. “You don’t think that it actually works for vidyadharas, do you?” she asked, her voice pitched with excitement.

“That’s the only explanation we can think of,” Stelle replied.

“That would be incredible!” Bailu cried, the rustling only growing louder. “I should start up more research and—ack! Don't fall off the table—see if I can collect test subjects to replicate this since it will take some time.”

“I understand if you won’t tell us,” Dan Heng broke in. “But I was curious as to if you’ve had any success helping the intended couple.”

“That’s the thing!” she cried, her voice far off as though she was away from her phone. “I haven’t yet. But I’ve also taken down the aphrodisiac ingredient to a far lower level than what I gave you out of fear it would affect them negatively. I’ve been slowly upping the dose for them seeing as we haven’t had any success. But! Knowing you two had success, however unintended, gives me hope—Ah-HA! Found my notes—I’m on the right track.

“Hey!” she continued, her voice growing loud again as though she was close to the phone’s speaker. “Do you think it will be a full vidyadhara? Not just a mix but able to reincarnate and everything?”

Dan Heng and Stelle shared a look of surprise. That had been the last thing on their mind. “Um,” Stelle started. “We only just found out ourselves, so we didn’t really think much of it—”

“Because that would be incredible!” Bailu excitedly continued. “It would be the first Vidyadhara to ever be born. Can you believe that?!”

Seemingly unable to get a word in edgewise, Stelle chuckled, shaking her head while looking at the phone with a certain fondness. Her reaction to Bailu’s excitement served to relax Dan Heng as well. All of this was too much for words.

“Anyway,” Dan Heng said, trying to get Bailu to focus again. “We just wanted to inform you and see what information we could get.”

“Are you going to come by soon?”

“We don’t know.”

“Because I want to examine Stelle in person. This is the first vidyadhara child in the history of ever, even if it’s technically only a half-blood. I have to record everything!”

Dan Heng could see the awkwardness creep over Stelle’s expression. “We’ll keep you updated,” he spoke for her, knowing that the last thing she wanted right now was more doctor's appointments, even ones given by her friends. “We don’t know the next time we will land on the Luofu.”

“Ugh! How frustrating!” Bailu cried in such a way that Dan Heng could almost see her stamping her foot impatiently. “This is so important! I want to make sure everything goes okay.”

“Thank you, Bailu,” Stelle said. “But I’m sure it will be fine.”

“Oh! Right, I wish you all the health in the galaxy! If you tell me where you’ll be landing next, I’ll try to ship a package of herbs to you.”

“We just stopped at Herta’s Space Station to restock,” Dan Heng answered. “Though I doubt we will linger here long. I’m uncertain where we will end up next.”

“Keep me updated. And I’ll start digging into my research here. The potential of vidyadara offspring is too important to ignore!”

“Just be sure to take care of yourself, too,” Dan Heng gently chastised.

“We’re talking about the future of our clan! Sleep can wait!”

He shook his head, suddenly tired. What was he supposed to do with her?

“Hey, Bailu,” Stelle chimed in. “Don’t send Dan Heng to an early reincarnation worrying over you, okay? I’d like my husband around.”

“Ugh, fine. I just won’t tell him.”

Dan Heng shook his head, Stelle sniggering in the background.

“Alright, we’ll leave you to it,” he said, feeling the call had run its course and anything more would just be draining. He and Stelle still had much to discuss. “Please don’t overdo it.”

“I won’t. I’ll be sure to send my assistant for food.”

“Not just snacks.”

“Ugh, why you gotta worry like that? Snacks are an integral part of keeping one's energy up.”

“We’ll talk to you later,” Stelle said, smiling at the exaggerated expression he was surely wearing at this point. “And don’t worry; we promise to keep you updated under the condition you take care of yourself.”

“Don’t make me lie to you, too,” Bailu grumbled. Then she sighed. “Alright, alright. I promise. Keep me in the loop!”

“Will do. Bye for now.”

“Bye bye!”

Stelle hung up the call. “Are you tired?” she asked Dan Heng.

He gave her a nod. “Very.”

“Well, that’s one person out of the way,” Stelle said. “Now we just have to figure out… everyone else.”

That brought Dan Heng back to reality. “We’ll all gather back here after dinner. I guess we can inform them then. As for how…” He grimaced. “I suppose we’ll just have to confess we were testing something out for Bailu.”

“We could be vague at first,” Stelle suggested. “I don’t really want to admit we were testing an aphrodisiac if we don’t have to.”

Dan Heng couldn’t agree more. He would prefer keeping intimate things about his relationship as private as possible. They were given a room in a different railcar entirely for that reason. “Hopefully, they won’t ask us to elaborate.”

Stelle made a show of crossing her fingers. 

“After they learn that, I suppose they’ll want to put you on rest or hold you back for missions. Particularly when you get further along.”

Her expression fell, which Dan Heng understood. She had been so excited to start up trailblazing again that the prospect of losing that ability was devastating.

“Sorry,” he said. “I don’t want to take away your ability to trailblaze either, but… you’re pregnant, so things will have to change.” 

He let those words sink in, as much for her as for him. Aeons, there was a baby on the way. Never in his life did he so much as imagine he'd have to worry about such a thing, but the impossible was suddenly reality, and the facts were slow to sink in.

“What if they ask us to leave?”

He froze. “What do you mean?”

Stelle frowned, staring at the table as though unable to meet his gaze. “Trailblazing is both hard and dangerous. A pregnant lady would be a useless member. But what about once the baby is born? I’ll have to stay back for… all the time. And then when it comes to traveling, babies are a lot of work. Asking them to live with one is—”

“A lot to ask of them,” Dan Heng finished. The thought hadn’t even crossed Dan Heng’s mind, but now, it wouldn’t leave. They were busy as Nameless, so how would that leave time for caring for a child while also not abandoning their other duties? As much as Dan Heng cared for the other crew members and loved the place he’d made here on the Express, there was a line of what he could ask of them. And this was it.

“I don’t want to leave,” Stelle said, finally looking back up at him. “I know it’s selfish, but this is the only home I’ve ever known.”

“I feel the same,” he reassured, reaching out to take hold of her hands. “But you bring up a good point. They might decide that’s for the best we leave.”

Sadly, Stelle nodded.

His heart hurt and his mind was a mess, but he had the good sense to round the table before pulling Stelle up from her seat so as to embrace her. She clung to him tightly in return. 

“If we have to, we’ll find somewhere to settle,” he told her. “We’ve been to a lot of places, so I’m sure we can find a place we agree on. I’ll find work, we’ll get a place of our own, and we raise our child there. We’ll… we’ll be okay.” 

Stelle sighed, burying her head against his shoulder. “It still doesn’t feel real.”

It didn’t. Fact was they were going to be parents. A baby was on the way and they only had six months to figure everything out. Knowing that felt like facing an ocean wave about to swallow them whole.

So, they could only take one step at a time, and that next step was to inform the crew and let them make a decision. They’d figure out everything else after that.

~~~ 

Stelle felt like she was going to throw up. 

The crew had all had dinner separately, as was common when they arrived at the station and were allowed to all go do their own things—as close as they all were, the time apart was a blessing—but that meant she and Dan Heng would have to wait for the crew to collect back in the Express before they broke the news. 

Usually, Pom-pom was around but not today. Frankly, Stelle had never seen the little conductor leave the Express so it was likely they were up checking the engines or getting some well-deserved sleep. 

Welt was the first to return. “Ah, you’re back,” he commented, approaching them. “Did you happen to get a diagnosis?”

Stelle did her best to smile, but her gut was churning too strongly for it to stay on her face. “Yeah. I did.”

Dan Heng spoke up, saving her from having to continue. “We wanted to wait for everyone to return so we could tell you all at once.”

Welt’s expression fell. “Is it grim?”

Dan Heng grimaced. “It’s not that. It’s… hard to explain.”

“Then you should message the others to come. I know we’ve all been worried about you.”

That only made Stelle feel worse. “Sorry.”

“There’s no need to apologize,” Welt assured. “All we want is for you to recover fully.”

Even though his words were touching, Stelle wondered how they would react when she told them there was no real “recovery” for her condition. “Thanks.”

With Welt’s prompting, they sent a message to March and Himeko, asking them to return so Stelle could properly explain the results. 

Himeko came within a minute after that. “I was already on my way back when I got your message,” she said. “Everything go okay?”

“Yeah,” Stelle said. “It’s just… something I only want to explain once.”

Himeko’s expression fell. “Is it complicated?”

“More or less?” Stelle answered. 

Which didn’t ease Himeko in the slightest. “Is Pom-pom not here?”

“I haven’t seen them.”

“I’ll go get them, maybe bring out some drinks for everyone when I come back. Do you want some coffee?”

While Stelle had looked over the doctor’s packet, particularly the section of foods pregnant women should stay away from, she couldn’t quite remember what drinks were on it. But on the other hand, coffee did not sound good. “Um, maybe tea today.”

“Alright.”

“I can help you while we wait for March,” Welt offered.

“I’d appreciate it.”

Only once they were out of the parlor car did Stelle hang her head in her hands. 

“Are you okay?” Dan Heng asked, rubbing her back. 

“I hate worrying them like this.”

“I hate it, too,” he said. “But it’s more efficient this way. That, and March would have a fit if she was the last one to know.”

“I know,” Stelle said. “I don’t think I would have it in me to explain it to every one of them individually, anyway. This is exhausting enough.”

“It’ll be okay,” he reassured. “Whatever happens, we’ll make it work.”

Stelle leaned her head against his shoulder, to which Dan Heng responded by looping his arm around her waist and holding her. “I know.”

Pom-pom eventually scuttled into the room. “You got the results?”

Sitting up straight again, Stelle nodded. “Yeah. We’re waiting for March to return to explain it.”

“Is it serious?” Pom-pom asked, their ears falling in worry.

“It’s… something.”

“That’s not what I asked!”

Suddenly, the Express’s door opened. “I’m here!” March cried, practically tripping as she ran up to them. “So, what’s going on? It sounded serious.”

“Stelle got her diagnosis,” Welt explained right as he entered the car, carrying a tray of drinks for Himeko who was following behind him. “And she insisted we were all here.”

March’s already nervous expression worsened as she looked at Stelle. “Is it bad?”

Nervously, she wrung her hands together. “It’s something.”

“Enough keeping us in suspense,” Himeko said, beginning to take cups from the tray and set them before everyone. “A two-time misdiagnosis is already worrisome enough. What’s the verdict?”

Silently, Dan Heng gave her a gentle squeeze. 

Taking a deep breath, Stelle forced a smile. “Turns out… it wasn’t a misdiagnosis.”

A shocked silence hung over the room for a moment. 

“Wait,” March spoke, almost spilling her drink as she slammed her mug back down on the table. “So you’re… you’re actually pregnant?”

Awkwardly, Stelle nodded. “Yeah. I am.”

“We know it’s a shock,” Dan Heng said, “since you know vidyadharas cannot reproduce. We believe it has to do with a well-intentioned medicine Bailu gave us. That’s the only thing that has changed.”

After a moment longer, Himeko was the first to respond. “And here we thought it was serious,” she lightly scolded, smiling all the while. “But that’s wonderful news.”

“Yeah!” March jumped in, almost knocking over her mug as she threw herself at Stelle in a hug. “Did you know how worried we were?”

“Sorry,” Stelle muttered, returning the awkward hug. “We didn’t really know how to process it ourselves.”

“I’m certain,” Welt reassured. “It must have come as quite a surprise. But, I’m very happy for the two of you.”

“Yes,” Himeko agreed. “Congratulations.”

“What a joyous day!” Pom-pom finally added, their bright smile serving to lighten the atmosphere. “Another trailblazer has been added to our ranks.”

“We can call them the ‘Tiny Trailblazer’,” March suggested, finally letting go of Stelle only to plop down beside her.

Despite the quiet laughter, Stelle’s stomach tightened. “Actually, um… there’s one more thing we want to talk about.”

Dan Heng cleared his throat, calling everyone’s attention to him. “With this revelation, we realize that this will change… everything. Stelle’s pregnancy and raising a child will require a lot of our time and attention. Furthermore, it will force the rest of you to pick up tasks we cannot take on due to the child. Trailblazing is a time-consuming and dangerous job, and while we love it, we have both agreed we cannot ask you to work around us if you believe it would be a burden or hindrance to the functionality of the Express. Hence, we wanted to be the first to bring this suggestion to the table: if you believe it would be best for us to leave, we will do so.”

“We don’t want to,” Stelle added, unable to stand the somber expressions that had overtaken the joy on her closest friends' faces. “We love being here on the Express. And we want to help with cleaning up the stellarons. But… we don’t want to force you all to work your lives around the fact I’m having a baby.”

“We wouldn’t mind.”

Himeko’s quick response was a bit of a surprise. 

Her smile was a reassuring one. “At least, I wouldn’t. While it would slow us down a little, I would rather rearrange everything to work around you two and the baby rather than have you two leave altogether. Worst case scenario I foresee is Dan Heng and Stelle always stay behind with the Express to watch it, leaving three of us to go handle the stellaron. Even with the baby, having you two around would still be preferable to you leaving.”

“I am in agreement,” Welt said. “But, I feel it is in everyone’s best interest I play devil’s advocate for a moment. You’re right: the Express does travel everywhere, and safety is not guaranteed. The life we live is one full of adventure and chaos. Before we persuade you to stay, consider if you two are willing to raise a child in this ever-changing and sometimes turbulent environment rather than settling down somewhere to give the child more stability.”

His words gave Stelle pause. Yes, she didn’t want to leave, but was that really what was best for her child? She bit her lip nervously as she stared at the floor.

“Sorry,” Welt spoke. “Above all personal feelings, I want you to make an informed decision.”

“No, we understand,” Dan Heng replied. “You bring up a good point we haven’t been able to think about yet. This revelation as a whole has been a little overwhelming.”

“Then let’s not talk about sad things anymore!” March cut in. “We should just be excited for the baby, yeah? I mean, you’ve got time to decide all that, right?”

Stelle grasped at March’s desperate attempt to change the mood. “Er, yeah?”

“Do you know how far along you are?” Himeko asked.

“Twelve weeks.”

“You’re three months already?”

Nervously, Stelle chuckled. “Apparently? Give or take.”

“Then you’ve got about six months before the baby arrives. You still have a little time to process things. And if you change your mind as you progress, we’ll help you in whatever way we can.”

“Furthermore,” Welt said. “If you do decide to stay only to change your mind down the road, we will help you then, as well. Ultimately, we want what is best for you and are more than happy to help you in whatever capacity we can.”

“Even if you leave, you’ll still be part of the Nameless,” March said. “At least, I think so.”

Her words warmed Stelle’s heart, and she felt her eyes begin to water a bit. “Thanks, everyone.” It seemed everything really would be okay. And for the first time all day, Stelle felt the knot in her stomach loosen up, enough that she could properly enjoy her drink.

She lifted it halfway to her lips—

Er… maybe not.

[luna-the-bard]

Skeemus Main Storyline - Act II (Part 1)

The self-indulgent fan oc lore continues! Woo!

Act I <- x -> Te'rra Intermission

Samus’s ship, and, by extension, her living space, is very neat. Being a bit messy isn’t unfamiliar to her, but at large her ship is very tidy & organized. Everything has a place, or at least an “everything bin”; it’s functional. Having someone sick to care for brought a reasonable amount of chaos into this tidiness. Samus found herself cleaning at least twice as often as usual - mostly throwing out used tissues and changing sheets, but also disposing of empty IV bags and syringes and all else that is medical in nature. She had to dig up some old T-shirts and cut them in the back to make them fit around the alien’s wings, because her old clothes had to be discarded both due to wear and tear and for the purpose of decontamination.

A couple days later, after the little alien’s fever goes down, Samus notices her watching, intently, as she goes around her day. The next morning she notices all the used tissues stacked up neatly in little squares at the edge of the bed. Samus appreciates the effort. She makes a mental note to buy a small bin for paper trash to put by the bed once they get to the nearest port - she didn’t really need one before, but it would make cleaning a bit easier now. Since that moment she regularly took notice of the little ways in which her guest tried to be as low-maintenance as possible.

It comes as a shock when one night, about a week in or so, the avian makes a nest out of pillows and blankets and refuses to let Samus leave for the cockpit where she’s been sleeping. Samus has to bust out the drawing pad, because she can’t understand what the little alien is trying to say, yet, and her just aggressively patting the bed could mean pretty much anything. Samus has to make sure everything is okay.

The situation turns out to be a lot more awkward than initially assessed. Turns out her guest noticed not only the fact that Samus has been sleeping in her pilot’s chair, but also the way it had been leaving her neck and shoulders more sore with every passing day. The alien made space for her to sleep besides her - she stopped being contagious as soon as the fever went down, and Samus had just changed the sheets this morning, but she hasn’t had to share a sleeping space since her days in the Federation Police - and even there, she still had an individual bunk. On the other hand, waking up sore every morning was a real pain in the neck… Literally. 

Samus makes perhaps the most uncharacteristic decision of this month - it’s only until Skeets fully recovers and she can drop her off back on Te’rra, what could go wrong?

Besides cleaning, Samus spends her time in passionate research. It takes her a week to even identify the girl’s species - the last publicly available entry on them is dating over two centuries old. Samus feels as if she uncovered an ancient relic. 

She soon learns the reason behind such lack of up-to-date information: Te’rra has left the big political scene almost exactly a millenia ago, cutting all communications and public relations with the rest of the world. It takes Samus another two days to find a textbook on their language - it’s in a private library of some old philanthropist, but to Samus’s luck there's a scanned version of it uploaded online; it even has an audiobook with pronunciation guides and exercises to go along with it. She meticulously follows them all, making good progress - at least good enough to learn some basic phrases and the word “hospital”, since that’s where she was about to take Skeets (they finally got to a planet with a big enough interspecies infrastructure). Although, she also had to learn the words “new” and “clothes'', as she realized that maybe going out in public in just an oversized t-shirt (which was only held together by makeshift ties at the back, at that) might be a bad idea, and the alien’s condition was stabilized enough by now to not need an ambulance ride. As much as Samus hates the idea of leaving someone unattended inside her ship, she has to do a quick shopping run, leaving A.D.A.M. in charge until she could return with some adjustable pants and shirts that would hopefully fit the little bird. (She guesstimates a little on the bigger side, so the alien looks especially tiny in comparison to her oversized apparel. It would almost be funny if only she didn’t look so.. sad and disoriented in an unfamiliar place).

Samus spends another hour or so filling out all the paperwork for Skeets before they go out - names were one of the first things Samus established once she found that textbook, so now she knew at least who she took in, and if Skeets needed something, she could call Samus over. She arranges a taxi from the port to the hospital, so they wouldn’t have to go through the overwhelming ordeal of navigating foreign public transit. 

They come back from the hospital with a portable oxygen machine and a new set of antibiotics. Samus spends the following month feeding Skeets syringes full of medication (she will never admit it, but she almost laughed at the way the little alien’s face scrunched up at the taste), studying terranian, and keeping contact with the Federation officials responsible for rehabilitation of the rescued group. Skeets asks for some textbooks to learn Common and Chozo too, catching up pretty fast with nothing else for her to do on the ship but study. She makes quicker progress with Chozo, finding unexpected similarities to her native language (they’re nothing more than a coincidence, but an advantage nonetheless). By the end of the month they can communicate somewhat well; nothing fancy or too complex, but it makes a huge difference. Skeets helps Samus with pronunciation and vice versa, so learning is going quite well. 

After a follow-up at the hospital, Samus is left with a long list of physical therapy exercises for avian species and a detailed recovery plan. It’s not really a surprise that a full month of inactivity and illness would have consequences, but what it hurt the most was Skeets’s wings - she hadn’t used them since the Space Pirates’s ambush.

They spend evenings looking through various parks and recreational resorts (some of them take up entire planets!), picking and choosing what seemed best for flying. Samus suggests a couple planets with reduced gravity to start them off.

She can’t get the feeling of Skeets’s dry, warm hands in her own out of her head for the weeks to come. They go flying almost every other day - and every time, Samus makes sure to hold Skeets steady at least for the first few minutes, lest a sudden gasp of wind catch her by surprise and lead to injury. She lets go only when she’s confident that the avian is safe. (Skeets is fully capable of flying in harsher conditions, even after two months of forced inactivity. She accepts the help regardless, out of gratitude if nothing else - she doesn’t mind soothing Samus’s worries.)

As they share the bed, the awkward space gap between them grows smaller and smaller; until one night, about half a month later, Samus realizes that whenever she gets cold at night and tries to cocoon herself into the blankets, Skeets drapes one of her feathery wings over her.

Act I <- Act II p.1 -> Te'rra Intermission

[oldbutnotyetwise]

A Life Worth Living

     What is a life worth living?  Perhaps more importantly, when is a life not worth living?  When you have a terminal illness you can find yourself pondering such things.  You have no choice but to sit back and watch as your life slips away.  What you were able to do yesterday, you may not be able to do today.  Although your brain may be tired it still works as well as it ever did and it has these two lists, one for what you can still do, and one for what you can’t do anymore.  As one list continues to grow, the other is dwindling down, dwindling down to almost nothing.  

     You know that old saying about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, normally it refers to coming out the other end of the tunnel, and leaving whatever problem behind you.  Not in my case, in my case that light is a locomotive speeding down the tracks, through the tunnel and straight towards me.  The light I see is the headlight and its getting very bright, and very close.  I can hear the sound of the train and it is close enough that I can smell it.  I should get off the tracks, jump out of the way but my body isn’t responding, the train is blowing it’s horn and neither can the train stop in time, nor can I avoid what is coming.  All that remains is the time needed to cross the space between the speeding train and me standing dead still in the centre of the tracks.  

     As this disease has progressed I have often pondered the question, when is a life not worth living?  What line does one cross and then decide that life is no longer worth living?  Probably not something most people would consider if they aren’t aware that their time is running out.  

     Is life worth living when……your legs stop working….when your arms grow too weak to lift yourself up….when you can’t sit up anymore……when you can’t lift your arms over your head anymore to put on a hat……when you can’t roll over in bed…..when you can’t shower yourself or use the toilet by yourself……when you no longer have the strength to lift a cup of tea……when you lose the ability to speak and be understood……when you lose the ability to do your writing because even that last finger you’ve been typing with is no longer listening to what your brain tells it to do.  I would like you to think about that……where would you draw your line?  

     Now let me share something with you, where you think you would draw your line, and where you would actually draw the line are likely two different places.  Where I thought I would draw the line when things were being pondered hypothetically is well…., well I have passed that line and I am still here.  

     I know many others who are travelling the same road that I am, and who are fighting the same monster.  During our online meetings we all look at each other, assessing each others points in our journeys.  I look at some and tell myself that what is enough for some, isn’t enough for me.  Don’t get me wrong I respect their personal decision to hang on, but I don’t believe I would do the same in the same circumstance.  It’s an incredibly personal decision, there is no right or wrong, all I can do is try to get it right, right for myself.   My dear sweet wife is wise enough to acknowledge that this is my decision alone and she will respect whatever I decide.  I do seek and accept her input, but in the end it is my decision alone, and it should be as no one else should have to carry the burden of that decision.

     So today, is my life worth living?  The answer is yes it is.  Why you ask?  My life is worth living because this morning Robin and I spent twenty minutes laying in bed together wrapped in each others arms.  It is the only time when my illness isn’t front and centre, the only time I can forget about being sick and am just a very lucky man and for twenty minutes I am in the best place in the world.  My day with Robin will have many tender moments, many I Love You’s, and a good deal of laughter.  I also get to go out and take our dog for a walk, enjoying the fresh air while sharing the love and companionship of our sweet loyal girl.  A dog who likes to remind me that you don’t need much to be happy, you just need to focus on the good things all around you.  And finally I will have some family or friends visit, sharing stories, memories, laughter and their good company.  Good friends who know that under this mess of a person I have become is still the same person who they have known for years.  So yes, there is still goodness amidst the daily struggle to survive.

     I have met the person who will in all likelihood be easing me out of this world.  She is a pretty young doctor with a kind gentle nature who is good at putting us at ease with everything that is going on.  I call her my “Killer Blonde”.  Imagine having a Doctor come to your home, spend an hour with you, actually listen to what you say because she doesn’t have to rush out the door in five minutes to get to the next patient.  My impression is that instead of being focused on how to fight whatever disease or illness they are faced with, they focus on quality of life for their patient.  There is a quote by Steve Leder here that I think fits.  He suggests that you ask the doctor this question, “Is what you are thinking of doing going to prolong my life or prolong my death?”  I believe this is a very special kind of doctoring that Palliative Care Doctors do, and from what I’ve seen I believe I have a good one.

     For now I am hurrying to get done what I need to get done, to make things easier for after.   Although presently I am a mess getting messier, I would like for all my affairs to be neat and tidy.

     As of next week all the paperwork will be done, after which I can place a phone call when I feel the time is right and within a few days I can make my peaceful exit, my last chapter finally complete.  The fight will be done, my body will be turned into dust and spread in several places, some I know well, and some I have never been to. And although my body will be gone I will live on in those who have known and loved me.  Robin will cry but she will also laugh because that is how we lived our life together.  Elizabeth will put on a brave face, well because she is a Brady.  When she runs into a problem and can’t phone me for advice, I hope that she pauses for a minute and figures out the solution she and I would have come up with together.  I hope that both Robin and Elizabeth will continue to talk to me after I’m gone, and I hope they hear me answer back because they both know me well enough to know what I would say.  I hope they will feel my presence forever in their hearts where I plan to continue living.  I will also live on in the hearts and minds of the incredible group of friends and family who were there for me, who walked beside me on this difficult journey.

[glassautomaton]

How does Iris act when she's sick? I have this vivid image of her denying any illness even though she has, per say, a bad fever. Kind of like how she was lying to Stacey and Leora about her injuries back in Voices Carry.. and most likely pushing herself too far to try to prove that she's not ill.

I feel like she rejects any kind of help due to being afraid of people getting close to her/ people perceiving her as weak and vulnerable, and only let's people she really trusts close. (Andrea, maybe. Jackie, eventually..)

I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!

I’d say you’re pretty close with your assessment. If she had, say, a light cold, she’d probably just keep her distance from people, wear a face mask, and insist that she’s fine as long as she thinks she’ll be relatively convincing in saying that. She probably thinks her presence in the site is more important than it is, and likes to keep an eye on things, besides.

If she’s sick sick, like the flu or something she can’t reasonably pass off as allergies or whatnot, she just holes up in her room and sweats it out in her bed. For one, she’s a bit of a homebody at heart, and feels safest in her room with the door locked. She’s also used to dealing with things alone, and often figures it’s best to just keep it to herself so she can’t get anyone sick - anyone I trusting in her room would make her uncomfortable on top of being sick, and she wouldn’t know how to take the help. To top it off, she doesn’t want to be seen as weak or needy, although this doesn’t actually work all that well. As she often shows up at Site-17 with injuries from Alpha-9 operations, most people around the site who aren’t familiar with the task force see her as a sick dog.

On that topic, it isn’t uncommon to se Iris wearing braces or bandages, though she isn’t usually directly in the fray like Adams. Her right eye, though, being a biological implant, often needs additional treatment, so she’ll occasionally walk around with an eye patch and/or those indoor sunglasses optometrists give you.

[onyourstageleft]

just wanted to post a quick update about my cat Peggy, we're still waiting on the biopsy results but I have more thoughts below the cut

(tw: animal sickness, cancer mention, amputation mention)

includes a non-graphic picture of lumps under skin

so we don't know anything yet, I'll hear back from the vet either tomorrow (Saturday) or Monday about the biopsy and we'll know more from there. my partners are trying to be optimistic and hope it's cysts or some other easily treatable issue, but the more I get a chance to look at the lumps the more I think it's my original fear of fibrosarcoma or another cancer mass. I haven't talked to them much about it bc they don't want me to speculate (fair enough) but our friend who catsits for us and also loves our babies very much came over today, he noticed the lump with us on Tuesday and he was clearly worried from the moment he noticed it, and he took a closer look (as much as Peggy would let him before yelling at him and insisting she gets love instead) while he was here, he pretty much agrees with my googling assessment. we're of the same mind that it's better to know what the worst possible outcome could be and prepare for that and hope to be proved wrong than try to hold out for a good result and be unprepared if it's not. he's not a vet expert but he's had many cats in his time, some with health issues including cancer, so I trust his amateur assessment, and he thinks that with the positioning of it on her hip and over the tendons there, for a surgery to get all of it they might suggest amputation of her left hind leg, and honestly if that ends up being the vet recommended best choice for her I'm all in. shes only 7 so hopefully the recovery from it wouldn't be a major concern, she's a spry lil lady so I think she'd take it okay, and we can arrange our schedules to be home as much as possible with her

I know that whatever happens we will love her so so much and give her the best care we possibly can, and even though it is likely to double the debt I'm currently in, I have no hesitation about doing it if it means a good chance that I get to keep my baby around for at least a few more years. plus, Peggy, peg leg, it works, right? (I'm leaning into the using humor to cope stage rn) she's still being so cuddly, like her attitude hasn't changed at all and she's so talkative and amazing, even though logically nothing has changed at all in the last few days, the area is just shaved and we're touching it more to try to look at it although we don't want to upset her, I just wish she could let me know if it's hurting her or affecting her movement or anything. I feel like she might be *slightly* skinnier than she was a few months ago in her face and body but that could also entirely be me just projecting my worries and seeing more than what's actually going on, so I'm trying not to dwell on that much

anyway she was laying on me as I started writing this post but has since relocated to the back of the couch, so have a pic of her curled on my lap with the shaved area/lumps visible + a few pictures from the last few months bc I just love this baby so much

important addendum as I was attaching the pictures she has come back to my lap and is doing biscuits on my tummy so bonus pic for that

[mj-chan]

i actually polished rose lore aaay djxhdh fun fact: i did a poll for her ship name with rilka and rosegardenshipping was pretty popular. As a treat have this wip hddhhs

Name: Rose

Age: same as Rika

height: 5.2

She/her

Occupation: Gardener, flower shop keeper

Region of origin: Shinoh

Pokemon team;

Roserade

Gardevoir

Lilligant

Florges

Azumarill

-shiny paldean wooper, as a companion-

~

Rose is originally from Sinnoh, she spent a part of her childhood in floaroma town before moving to Paldea with her family. Her mom was a pokemon nurse before opening up a flower shop in Artazon. Rose 1st pokemon was a budew that followed her since she was a kid that is now a Roseade. She always had a keen interest in fairy tales and plants  and based her team on those. When she arrived in Paldea she was one of the lucky trainers that were given a pokemon of their choice, she chose the grass cat pokemon Sprigatitto. When she did her treasure hunt she mostly spent her time not only studying plants but also different herbs and their benefits.

~

Most of her time was spent doing floral arrangements,bouquets, tending to the variety of plants and helping around the family shop.Not only Gracidea is her favorite, they are also a bestseller. She has a vast knowledge around plants and gardening and loves to expand her wisdom. 

Speaking of the flower shop, it is where she and Rika first met, the elite 4 were sent on an errand for La primera. When Rika saw Rose it was love at 1st sight, She always found an excuse to visit the shop just to see/tease rose and later on they were now girlfriends. 

Rose is considered as an ambivert mostly in the introverted side, Rika takes pleasure teasing Rose. The elite 4 love to give her flower themed nicknames like"my little Rose " "Rosie"  Delicate, kind and shy, Rose always seems to be lost in tough or too focused on her work. Rika will sometimes steal a kiss or try to distract Rose from her work like inviting her to go on a picnic date. She does help Rose with the gardening work like tending the soil,moving plants around. decorate the shop and other tasks

 One day, Rose found a strange looking Paldean wooper that seemed sick. Her first reaction was to contact Rika.  She later learned that it was shiny. With some help from her girlfriend and a lot of care, the little creature seemed more lively than when he was found. He got quickly attached to Rose so she decided to keep  him. He is not much of a fighter and loves playing with Rose team. He will wander around when he sees a Clodsire, especially Rika’s Clodsire.

She wasn't much of a fighter  even though she did partake in some contests and gym battles during her time in Shinoh. Although Rika gave Rose enough motivation to partake in the champion assessment and challenge the elite four.

[lifewritteninthestars]

I'm realising I very likely have postpartum depression, at least a bit. My relationship with showering, which was already strained at best, has absolutely tanked since I gave birth. Certain tasks and responsibilities are simple enough for me - I keep myself extremely busy, with work and childcare and cooking and cleaning - but others are almost impossible.

Showering. Combing my hair. Bathing the baby. Taking the dog out. Keeping the cat box clean. Keeping the bathroom clean.

I'm lucky I have my husband to help me, but it's really not been good. I've let certain things slip to a degree that disgusts me.

Yesterday marked a turnaround, though, at least I hope it did. It felt like a turnaround. I was able to recognize that I probably have PPD, and we got some important chores done, and we made a schedule for us to alternate taking the dog out. Today we've managed to stick to the schedule, and I showered and combed the horrible knots out of my hair, and I've been keeping the kitchen clean for days now (although tomorrow morning I'll have to wash the dinner dishes, because I didn't end up getting to them tonight before Baby C needed to go to bed).

Maybe once I work my way out of PPD, I'll be able to relax again. My concentration has been shot lately and I can't really enjoy myself very easily these days. It's better to stay busy as much as possible. Some days, I strap the baby to my chest and put my laptop on a tall counter and I'll work and do chores and cook dinner and try to entertain Baby C by talking and singing to her, all at once. Those evenings are nice because I'm very very productive and it allows my brain to quiet down a little and enjoy my evening. Days where I only accomplish a little bit, like today (folded and put away about half the laundry and made dinner and took the dog out), don't end with a quiet brain.

I'm just glad I haven't thought about hurting my daughter at all. The anxiety that she'll get hurt makes me feel sick sometimes, but it's also helped me learn to move more cautiously and assess risks very thoroughly. I don't struggle to bond with her at all, which is why I didn't think I had PPD at first. She's my light.

This is all just a long post to help me wrap my mind around this new hurdle and to have a reminder, later, of how this has gone and how far I've come.

Sometimes victory is just identifying the path you're on and taking one small step back towards where you want to be.

[tuneyouout]

I want to write an actual update entry but the truth is that every other day I am sick and nervous and overwhelmed and I really can’t function at high enough capacity to do that. So, it’ll be this.

My last ~proper entry was June 2021; it had notes about the same issue I’m having now except we’ve accelerated into finding out portion of fucking around. Mind you, I “fucked around” with permission granted.

My mom never recovered 100% from her TIA in 2020 and while she isn’t dying or an invalid or even incapable of living normally, it scared the shit out of me!! And every goddamn time we’d have any sort of post-covid return to office townhall at work I would spiral into the fear that I would be stuck in LA forever, working 7 days a week to feel financially steady, and never be able to be there for my mom when something eventually would change in her health. I would lose entire work days to this dread. And in February 2022 when I noticed some cognitive changes in her, I started freaking out worse. But then. My coworker got permission from my boss to start looking for a house in the Palm Spring area and once the move in date was official she went as far as announcing his news to our entire LA office. The relief I felt in this happening was beyond.

So I assessed my existence, kept an eye on my mom, and by May I was having the relocation talk with my boss. It was all “yeah of course! No worries!” and when I mentioned my abilities to still come to the office maybe like every other week if I needed to it was met with “we’ll figure it out, no problem.” After letting my roommate know that although I was completely flexible to her scheduling needs, my moving home was in motion, within a week she worked out a plan that admittedly, was much quicker than I expected, but had me raging my last days as an LA local in June and fully home the first weekend of July.

And after 3 months of house projects and odd peace, right as the boredom and existential fear of what I set myself up for started setting in, on October 13th we were told we needed to be back in the office 3 days a week, starting January. About 2hrs later, after it was evident my boss would not be calling me or my coworker to reaffirm our approved scenarios, I called my boss, bordering on hysteria and panic, and got absolutely zero support. After this, I spent the next 4 hours in my bedroom crying and staring, terrified of what the fuck I was going to do. The next day, I worked, saw Midtown in Orange County, drove to LAX, slept in my car for a few hours, and boarded a flight to the east coast at 5am Saturday morning to see Fireworks (and The Wonder Years) for the first time in 7 years. I had a wonderful weekend of meeting and seeing internet friends, driving across New England for a second show and trying not to let this massive bomb kill my joy. It was having 2 drinks instead of 3, and buying 1 shirt instead of 2, and just trying to not let my gut be chaos the whole time.

I contacted HR who told me my boss should’ve done an official approval when we had the initial conversation and now it would be much trickier to okay. They told me my boss should understand and be able to be flexible as to not expect me in the office that often when I’m 130 miles away. Yet here we are, with people now going in the office, my boss not giving any specific directions or approvals but also not giving off any hint of being cool, and I’m just working as I have been, knowing the clock is ticking. Dread. I’ve been applying to jobs!! I had 1 interview in November and while I don’t think I’ll be getting that, just getting an interview did boost some confidence. It’s just a fucking awful position to be in.

8 months ago I was nervous about my mom but making good money, had a great apartment and best friend of a roommate, was lovingly fulfilled by my weekend job, loving my friends and people around me, donating funds to lives and causes, planning trips. I almost fucking felt like I was getting my footing in LA after 15 years. And now, I’m in a job wasteland, too far from friends to get drunk and emotional with, too financially panicked to give myself a weekend to make plans for that, and living on a motherfucking prayer I don’t eventually have to go work a retail or service job where I’ll be lucky if I get insurance I can survive on. For the record, I am not fucking above any job, but without decent insurance and wages, this chronic condition becomes slowly life threatening.

I guess you’d call this regression. I left a fun job and all my friends. Convinced myself that I’m brave enough for all this. Well.