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straightouttaneptune · 5 years ago

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You’ll come with me, won’t you?

Pairing: Harley Quinn x Reader

Warning: It’s different. Joker is a bitch. Reader becomes kind of morally weird as the fic progresses. People die.

Summary: Y/N is a baby psychiatrist, who just started out. Suddenly, she is trusted with the most feared case of all. Harleen Quinzel. Y/N thinks it’ll be good for her career, or will it?

A/N: I couldn’t find a good ending to this for the longest time, I’m so glad I did. Also, this is for my 500 followers fic queue :) Thank you for the love, darlings✨

—————————————————————

“Harleen Quinzel?”

That was a name you’d heard before. That was a name everyone’s heard before, at least once in their lives. But it was not the name that had surprised you, but it was the fact that her name was right there on top of your long patient list.

“Yeah, congrats Y/N. She’s pretty famous around here. Straighten her out and you’ll probably be in the big city in less than a year.” Your colleague, Megan peered into your books over your shoulders and patted your back affectionately.

You were one of the new psychiatrists in the business, and you had been dealing with criminal minors, the less mental mental patients and all the clients that newbies would usually handle. Being fresh out of university after holing up in the labs and libraries, you needed to gain some experience first before taking on the really hard cases.

Or... that’s what you were told.

“C’mon, Meg, you gotta know more than that. Why would they pass her case to me? She’s a rank SS psycho.” You pushed, looking up at her through your lashes in a slightly accusatory manner.

She gave you a look that asked; “Do you really want to know?” And you nodded.

“Well, I heard the other docs, the guys who were like 10, 20, hell, 30 years into the business, they all got their brains scrambled by... this girlie.” Her index finger landed on the profile photo of Harley Quinn, an apologetic look in her eyes.

You rolled your eyes, not necessarily at Megan, but at whoever it was that tried to deal this card to you. “You gotta be kidding me.”

“It’s cruel, but you can always turn it down, y’know?” Megan set her books aside, her left arm cradling your slumped shoulders.

“Yeah... But I might not.”

Megan’s dropped gaze snapped back up, her eyes wide with surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah. It’s a good way to kick-start my career, I guess.”

\|/

“Hello, new doc.” The moment you entered the room, you regretted making this decision immediately. Harley Quinn sat in a big contraption-looking chair, her hands and feet shackled onto the armrests and legs of the seat. Her platinum blonde hair was untied and unkempt, its bottoms still dyed red and blue, although it seemed to have faded over time.

The only thing dividing the space between you and Harley was a metallic table bolted on the floor, wide enough so even if Harley broke off her arm shackles and reached for you, she wouldn’t be able to touch you. You swallowed your nerves and entered the room with a confident stride, smiling sweetly at the guards as they closed the door with eyes of concern.

“Hello, Miss Quinzel.” You thanked heavens that your words came out right, especially in front of a woman who could sniff out people’s fears from thousands of miles away.

“You’re the first girl I’ve had.” She mused, her eyes twinkling with mischief. But the light in her eyes has lost its original color, you thought. She looked much more lively in photos taken way back then. When she was just a psychiatrist.

“Hm. I guessed that it would be nice to have some heart to heart, female to female.” You reassured your anxious self calmly in your head, repeating the words ‘you got this, Y/N.’

“Do you know why I’m here, and not... Damien? Who usually comes in for your check-ups?” Stowing your clipboard away on your lap, you continued.

“Yeah. Before him was another guy, then a grandpa and just... a buncha stupid-lookin’ guys. But I didn’t like them.” She replied as if it was the most simple thing in the world. The files back in the company would argue differently. Every single guy, either was tormented by her psychotic attacks or totally gone insane from her mental tricks.

“Are you going to do the same thing to me?” You asked, not really knowing what answer to expect. Your eyes remained soft, a small smile gracing your lips as you waited for her answer.

“No. I like ya.” She answered quickly, shrugging and adverting her gaze away to look down at her shackles. “Can I sit down like you?” She shook her wrist lightly, the chains rattling against the armrest.

“Maybe next time, Miss Quinzel.”

“There’s a next time? Yeah!”

You internally smiled to yourself, what a successful human being she would’ve been if not for a man like Joker to ruin her life. Right then, you vowed to whatever higher power was out there, that you’d get Harley Quinn to break free from his spell.

The people in your office were surprised, to say the least, that you were able to keep up your visits to the prison, and that an amateur therapist like you could get the queen of Gotham in a tight little leash. You didn’t like to think about it like that, but rather that she trusts you better than any of the others.

The weekly visits became 2 days a week, and from weeks of good behavior, Harley was allowed to be without handcuffs during her sessions now. You weren’t afraid she’d leap up and strangle you, because of some sort of connection the two of you formed after all those times spent together.

“Hey doc, why can’t you visit me more ‘round here?” Harley pouted, interrupting the current therapy session with an abrupt comment.

You looked up from your clipboard, dumbfounded. Why would she want to have you around more?

“Harley, I’m just your therapist.” You tapped the end of your pencil against the material of the clipboard, locking eyes with the woman. Anyone could see that she was starting to look better, particularly her eyes. They looked more human, compared to the hollow shell they used to be.

“I know, Y/N. But I’ve been doin’ some thinkin. It’s pretty fuckin clear that Mister J isn’t coming for me, and the suicide squad was probably just a one-time thing. And... You’re all I have.” She admitted, slowly sliding down from her pipe chair and laying down on the concrete floor.

The wooden chair you sat on scraped against the hard floor as you pushed it back. Standing up from your seat, you walked over to her in 3 steps. You kneeled down beside her, her skin just inches away from you. “Do you want a hug?” You questioned quietly, your voice softer and more inviting than usual. Harley felt this too, sitting up in a millisecond just as the offer left your lips.

“Yeah.” She almost crawled over to you, her arms wrapping around your neck desperately. That would’ve been terrifying if it was out of context, but she actually wasn’t trying to kill you. She genuinely just wanted a warm embrace.

You felt her slender torso tighten and loosen as if she was trying to repress a sob. Hand carefully sliding over her back, you whispered; “Let it out.”

And she did.

\|/

Time flew by as you continued to work on her case, and you fell into the worst situation a psychiatrist could possibly be in while working. You grew emotionally invested in your client. As a friend, who cared for her well being and happiness.

Maybe... even more.

You still didn’t know if you could trust her though, you managed to keep a cool head and your mind was rational, but that only confirmed the fact that Harley wasn’t playing any tricks on you. That you were genuinely becoming attached to the beautiful prisoner.

Harley, on the other hand, did intend on ruining you at first. Make them run back to where they came from crying, so no one would disturb her again while she waited for her puddin.

But it was all starting to feel different with you.

“Hey, doc?” Harley called out from inside her electric cage. She was being a little bit mischievous that day, and she pulled an armed guard against the buzzing bars when he wasn’t looking. He probably died, she guessed.

But she didn’t like that she couldn’t be near you during your sessions. So a man died, big deal!

“Can you let me out?” She pleaded in the sweetest voice she could muster, calling out to you who was currently propped up on the usual desk, writing down some notes on your clipboard.

“No, Harley. I don’t have the keys to your cell.” You replied without looking up, but you could imagine the cute pout that Harley had when you denied her of something.

“But would you open it if you did?” You looked up at that question, seeing her smiling from ear to ear now, anticipation glowing in her eyes.

“Maybe. I know you won’t hurt me.” You smiled back at her, watching her facial expression carefully. How would she react if you showed some warm friendliness towards her? Could she possibly return to the life she used to have?

“Maybe I will, doc. You don’t know what goes on in here.” Harley leaped up to her cloth swing she’d made for herself, her now almost completely platinum hair draping down her back.

“I hope you won’t hurt me, then.”

You couldn’t forget that split second where Harley’s eyes looked more humane than it ever has been for many, many years.

\|/

“Warning. Warning. Escape Attempt in Sector 9H11.”

The sound of the speaker and the blasting alarm merged together in a chorus of chaos, guards and officers running around to stop whoever the escapee was.

It was 9:30AM and you were just about to enter the asylum for your shift, when this sudden noise almost blasted your ears off. Before you could process what was happening, a bomb went off right next to you, making you scream and clutch your head as you ducked.

The debris fell everywhere along with broken pieces of concrete, and you just stayed there trying to collect your thoughts. Right when a random hand grabbed you by your wrist.

“Hi, doc. I was lookin’ for ya. You’ll come with me, won’t you?” Harley pulled you to the side, hiding the two of you behind a few bushes. Her eyes were electric making you realize that the true “Harleen Quinzel” you’ve been trying to look for is right in front of you now.

“Yeah. Yeah, I will.” You didn’t hesitate to take her outreached hand. Your mind had already been made up since the first time you laid your eyes on her.

#harley quinn #harleen quinzel #harley quinn x reader #harley quinn x y/n #harley quinn x you #dceu #dc #suicide squad #birds of prey #harley quinzel #harley quinn fic #harley quinn imagine

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longitudinalwaveme · 4 years ago

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Nitpicking Articles About Flash Rogues

Here’s some mistakes I found in Internet articles about the Rogues.

Article #1:

1. The Rogues did not make their first appearance in Flash #130.

It’s an understandable mistake, given that five of them are on the cover, but really the only Rogue to do anything of note was the Mirror Master. The other Rogues’ appearances were just Mirror Master’s lawyer (whom he hypnotized) impersonating them. Their actual first appearance as a group was Flash #155.

2. This one is really minor, but it’s Heat Wave, not Heatwave.

3. I think it’s a bit misleading to say that Captain Cold is the most powerful of the Rogues. He is powerful, no doubt, but Mirror Master and Weather Wizard have a considerably broader and more versatile range of powers than he does. Pied Piper and the Top are probably also more powerful than he is.

4. This is another minor mistake, but the party in Flash Vol.2 #19 was celebrating Captain Cold’s release from the Suicide Squad, not really his retirement.

Article #2:

1. I wouldn’t describe the Rainbow Raider as the least powerful of the Rogues. He’s a bit of a doofus, but his ability to manipulate both light and emotions is quite impressive and would be an extremely potent weapon in the hands of someone other than Roy. By the logic this list is using, Weather Wizard should be much lower on the list than he is. While he uses his powers more effectively than Roy usually does, he doesn’t use his powers to nearly the extent that he could if he put more effort into them.

2. There is NO WAY that Roscoe should be listed as the second least powerful Rogue. He’s not just a master inventor who created an atomic bomb all by himself, he’s a telekinetic telepath with super speed who can also return from the dead via possession. Surely he should at least crack the top ten.

3. Being a contortionist is impressive. Not sure how it makes Ragdoll more powerful than Roy or Roscoe, though.

4. Golden Glider is confusing; I’d accept her being ranked fairly low in terms of raw power if we were just looking at her Pre-Flashpoint self. But since the picture of her is from the New 52, when she gained the power of astral projection. With that power, she seems like she should be a bit higher on the list than #17.

5. “Still, she makes the list for being an iconic villain who, when partnered with her protective older brother, turned out to be fairly competent all things considered.” Lisa was competent all on her own, thank you very much.

6. Considering Piper has canonically blown up a planet with his flute, #16 seems quite low. Even if we disregard that feat because it was from Countdown, he’s still pulled off some really impressive feats that makes me feel like he should be a lot further up the list.

7. “His powers are pretty insane considering their potential for assassinations and surprise attacks, but he ranks fairly low on the list because he can’t really stay a villain long enough to be effective.” This list isn’t ranking the most dangerous villains, just the most powerful ones. Reforming doesn’t make him less powerful!

8. I really like James, and his inventing prowess shouldn’t be understated. That being said, there is NO WAY he’s more powerful than post-Flashpoint Lisa, Hartley, or Roscoe. He’s probably not even as powerful as Roy!

9. “After being tricked into helping the demon Neron and smooth talking his way out of hell, the Trickster fully succumbed to psychosis, becoming a goofy, rambling personality, accentuated by being brainwashed by the Top.” ????? When did this happen? What are you talking about, article?

10. “After getting his nose broken three times in the course of a day by Batwoman, Deathstroke, and Batman, Trickster sacrificed himself to save Piper. And how did Piper thank him? By dragging his body through the desert before finally cutting the hand off his corpse.” What was Piper supposed to do? He was on the run from people who wanted to kill him and he almost died!

11. #14 seems like an appropriate slot for Cicada, all things considered. I’m still pretty sure he’s not more powerful than Roscoe or Piper, though.

12. Double Down should not be higher on the list than Roscoe or Roy or Piper (or Trickster or Lisa or Cicada, for that matter.)

13. Capt. Boomerang is a talented, skilled fighter. That being said, he is not more powerful than Roscoe. Or Piper. Or Roy. Or even James and Lisa, really.

14. Heat Wave as number 11 is fine. I still don’ t think he should be higher than Roscoe or Piper, though.

15. “Wow, the character Heat Wave has not aged well. So much so that the CW’s Arrowverse has actively kept the character from having any perceivable depth because the little intrigue there is to mine from him is from a bygone era best left in the past.” ???? Stop being mean to Mick, article. He’s a great character!

16. Magenta as #10 is fine. In fact, I would be okay with her being a little higher, all things considered.

17. “Long after breaking up with Wally West, Frankie Kane developed her magnetic powers quite suddenly and accidentally killed her entire family as a result. Understandably confused and terrified, she was quickly folded into Cicada’s cult where she became a lieutenant with the moniker, Magenta.” Frances’ powers developed before she even started dating Wally, let alone before she broke up with him. Also, it wasn’t like she immediately joined Cicada’s cult after Wally’s broke up with her. There was like a decade that passed between those two events, and Frances made several appearances in the intervening years. She also didn’t get her code name from Cicada.

18. WHY IS ABRA KADABRA ONLY AT #9????

19. “Originally debuting under the moniker of Mister Element, Albert Desmond adopted his better-known name after finding the legendary Philosopher’s Stone and gained the ability to transmute materials. The problem was that Albert Desmond wasn’t actually Doctor Alchemist and never was. Turns out the entire time he was a villain, it was as an alternate personality called Alvin Desmond, who is also his celestial, astral twin. And if the concept of a split-personality metahuman who can turn one substance into another with a fantastic macguffin sounds familiar, it’s because Doctor Alchemy is basically Firestorm except as a disheveled gremlin of a villain.Though that’s fairly impressive in its own right, but his true claim to fame actually comes from the CW Flash show, where he was played by Harry Potter’s Tom Felton and reimagined as psychic entity that remembered the Flashpoint timeline that Barry had accidentally created. His power was updated from simple transmutation to metaphysically crossing timestreams, allowing him to grant super human abilities to people who had them in Flashpoint, including the CW version of Wally West. Though he’s ultimately put down by a coalition of Flash’s crew, the ability to transcend time itself basically made him a veritable god. Pity only the CW could see the character’s potential for it.” No, article. Just no. First, CW Alchemy was considerably more boring than his comic counterpart. And he’s not Dr. Alchemist, he’s Dr. Alchemy! (That being said, Dr. Alchemy deserves to at least be at #8 on the list, so I don’t really have a problem with his ranking.) They also don’t describe the Albert/Alvin situation quite right, but that’s really confusing, so I can’t really blame them for that.

20. “Well part of it is that his main goal hasn’t changed much since his first appearance: to devolve humanity back into apes, no doubt a novelty in the early '60s, but kinda boring today. The other reason? Turns out that Grodd has failed in this endeavor at least 18 times, a failing record among Flash’s villains.” How many comics with Grodd in them has the writer of this article actually read? Because I can think of at least four storylines off the top of my head where Grodd has a goal other than turning people into gorillas. Also, the fact that he’s failed in his attempts to do this doesn’t make him any less powerful; Joker and Lex Luthor also fail in most of their schemes. It’s what comes of being a comic book villains. That being said, Grodd being #7 on the list is appropriate (although I might personally rank him a bit higher.)

21. Captain Cold is cool. I like him a lot. But even if we give him his New 52 ice powers, does he really deserve to be #6 on the list? Also, there’s no way he’s more powerful than Abra Kadabra, Dr. Alchemy, or Grodd. Or the Top.

22. No complaints with the Mirror Masters collectively sharing the #5 spot, or with Shade being at #4.

23. Weather Wizard is really powerful; him being in the #3 slot isn’t too inappropriate. Though I’m not sure if he’s really more powerful than Abra Kadabra (who should really have been much higher than #9).

24. Why is Godspeed specifically at #2? True, he’s a speedster, and speedsters are VERY powerful, but there are a number of other villains with super speed who I think are faster than he is. I also would argue that he might be less powerful than Abra Kadabra, Shade, the Weather Wizard, and the Mirror Masters, given that he’s not really all that experienced with his powers.

25. Eobard Thawne is really, really, REALLY powerful. I would argue that Abra Kadabra might be more powerful than he is, but otherwise he definitely outclasses the other villains on this list.

26. And where’s Hunter Zolomon, anyway? He should definitely be on this list, and no lower than #2.

#flash rogues #dc comics

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dibs4ever · 5 years ago

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Come back (part 3)

“Come on Nate, it’s already 30 minutes past your bedtime “ Barbara pleaded with the 2 year old

He shook his head “I want daddy!” He pouted

She sighed “Honey I told you he’s with Uncle Clark working. Let’s wear your Green Arrow jammies and get to bed.”

He shook his head “Daddy put them on.”

She took a deep breath. She’d rather fight off 12 of Jokers thugs then argue with her stubborn 2 year old.

The reality was, Dick had been recovering at the manor for the past 3 days. Deathstroke had been injecting Dick with some sort of serum to make way too much Neurotransmitters in his brain. Causing extreamly depression. Making him vulnerable to brainwashing. Red Robin and Robin along with Spoiler captured him. They determined his goal was to break Dick down so low he’d be able to turn him into a super soldier similar to himself and they could fight together.

The best they could do was give Dick anti depressants and let the serum run it’s course. Problem was it had been 3 days with no change. Dick was still extreamly depressed. Insisting they didn’t really need him, that he was dangerous, a nuisance and that everyone was better off without him in their lives.

She had tried to convince him to come home a couple times but he insisted that would be a horrible choice. That it was bad enough he gave ‘her son’ his genetics.

“Nate, it’s supposed to snow tonight. You can’t sleep in your underwear “ she pleaded

“Daddy do” he rose an eyebrow

And small smile twitched at her lips “But if Daddy was here right now he’d want you to wear these warm jammies. And I bet he’d be wearing his fuzzy batman pants with a t shirt.”

He smiled “And Mommy?”

She looked down at herself “Mommy is wearing her Nightwing pants and a shirt. See?”

Nathan looked her over and nodded

“So will you wear the pajamas?”

He shook his head “Daddy not with Uncle Cwak”

She furrowed her eyebrows . Sliding into the toddler bed she pulled him into her lap “Why would you say that?”

He shook his head “Daddy never gone dis long”

She nodded “He’s been gone longer before.”

He looked at her sadly, his eyes baring into hers. God those eyes. They could make her do anything. In fact they have.

“Daddy always call.”

She bit her lip he was right. When Dick or her had long missions they would always be sure to call or face time him. To put his mind at ease.

That did it. She bundled him up in his Green Arrow Blanket and scooped him up into her arms. Carrying his pajamas in her other hand.

“Where we goin mama?” He asked resting his head on her shoulder

She kissed his temple “To see Daddy.”

———-

They arrived at the manor.

She walked right in with Nathan still bundled in the blanket. His pajamas in hand.

Bruce and Alfred looked on confused she went into the living room finding Dick sitting in the lazy chair “Babs?” Dick was able to get out before.....

“Daddy!” Nathan literally kept from Barbara’s arms and onto Dick’s bare chest

The boy snuggled into his father

“What-why is he here? I told you I can’t-“

“Tough Love” Barbara said crossing her arms

He looked at her confused

“Waiting for the serum to run its course isn’t working, anti depressants isn’t working. Let’s try something new. Okay? He doesn’t want me to put his pajamas on. Only you.” She held the green and black cotton out to him

Dick looked at it for a moment

“Daddy I wear boxer and nothin else jus like you!” The boy said grinning from ear to ear. Dick looked down noticing the boy was wearing little Robin boxers while he was wearing Batman ones. Their son being as smart as he was, was potty trained at 22 months.

A smile twitched at Dick’s lips.

“Yeah that’s right bud. But umm daddy was actually getting ready to put on pants. You should put on your pajamas. It’s going to be cold tonight.”

The boy looked reluctant

“Has daddy ever told you the story about the time Robin didn’t wear his winter suit when Batman told him to?”

Nathan shook his head

“Well let me put your jammies on and I’ll tell you.”

The toddler obeyed. Snuggling back into his fathers arms after he was properly dressed

———-

“Then Robin was out for 2 whole weeks with pneumonia. Luckily he had a pretty nurse to bring him soup.” Dick looked up at Barbara .

”The end” he whispered, although the 2 year old was already fast asleep.

Dick stood cradling his son in his arms, passing him back to Barbara.

”That was a dirty trick” he whispered harshly

Barbara rose an eyebrow “But did it work?”

Dick stared her down for a moment “Bringing our son here, making me dress him and knowing he’d want to hear one of my ‘fairytales’ about the adventures of Batman,Robin and Batgirl? Was this a plan you made?”

Barbara shrugged “I was kinda just going on instinct.” She laid her son down on the couch and stepped forward. Wrapping her arms around Dick’s waist and resting her head on his shoulder “Honey I can’t do this parenting thing without you. He adores you. I- we need you home. Can’t you see how important you are to us? “

Dick took a deep breath “Maybe you’re onto something.”

“Yeah?”

He nodded “Dressing him, getting him to sleep, holding him in my arms. It felt...good”

She smiled ”Thats a start”

“But sweetie we got to start working on him not being so obsessed with the Green Arrow.” Dick sighed

Barbara giggled then stopped moving her arms from around him “Wait you said WE”

Dick nodded “Slowly okay hon”

She smiled “Of course. Since he’s already asleep we will stay the night here. But don’t worry. I’ll put him in his room upstairs. And I’ll take one of the guest rooms”

He shrugged “Or I mean...you could stay in my old bedroom with me.....it always made me happy when we were kids”

She smiled “If it makes you happy it makes me happy.”

Dick grinned “Then we have a deal my love.”

#dick grayson #barbara gordon #nightwing #dickbabs #batfamily #batfam headcanons

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ezilyamuzed · 5 years ago

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Ten Years Gone- The Beginning

Description: Ten years ago, your world had changed. Ten years ago, you had met him, leading your life to never be the same again. Time is running out, but is it too late after all these years?

Word Count: 7775

Warnings: Language, Parent’s death, PG teen “cuddle” time.

A/N: This is the prelude of a new series. I was listening to Led Zeppelin's ‘Ten Years Gone’ while watching the early episodes of Supernatural and got some ideas... Enjoy.

Any grammatical mistakes are all my own, because I am human. Remember all comments and feedback are welcomed! If you want a tag in future posts regarding this series or other writings please send an ask! As always thank you for reading! Enjoy!

TEN YEARS GONE MASTERLIST

*Picture and lyrics used are not mine. Led Zeppelin is Amazing.

Changes fill my time, baby, that's alright with me In the midst I think of you, and how it used to be

Your legs were sprawled out along the back seat of your uncle’s ‘70 Chevelle as you hummed along to the guitar rhythm and stared out the window. The trees and scenery were whooshing past in a blink of an eye, but it all looked pretty much the same no matter where you were. The autumn quickly changing the leaves that were now falling to the ground. Trees, trees, dirt, and grass. Hey a rock. Sometimes you turned your sight seeing into a game to see how long you could stare out without blinking before you either got dizzy or your eyes dried out. Your record was to the second chorus of The Steve Miller Band’s “The Joker”.

“We almost there? I gotta piss,” you whined up to the front.

Your uncle Danny let out a laugh as he turned his head to the rear-view mirror to see your turnt up nose.

“We’re about 5 minutes away. You can hold it until then. If not, I’m sure there is a bottle or something back there.”

Although he was not longer looking you still give him an evil glare in response.

“You know it doesn’t work like that Uncle Danny.”

“Well if you’re going to keep talking like a rude little boy instead of the proper lady like I know your momma raised you to be, I’m going to keep treating you like it,” he replied back, turning the radio down as he spoke.

“She tried. It didn’t stick,” you rolled your eyes in a humph.

“If only she could see you now. Hell, 14, starting up high school…”

“Yeah, how many schools will I go to this year? The standard 4 minimum?” you added with sarcasm.

“One, smartass,” you could see him smiling as he looked to you in the rear view mirror. “I’ve worked out a deal with a buddy of mine while I go on a business trip.”

“Ya hunting plants, fruits, vegetables, or minerals this time?” You laughed at your own dumb joke.

“Don’t you worry about that missy,” he replied. “You just keep your head while I’m gone. No getting into trouble.”

“Who ya dropping me off with anyways? They in the business too,” you asked while making air quotes.

“Yeah, but recently he has stepped back a little. Actually, he’s been watching two teenage boys around your age while their dad also goes out on the road,” he replied before looking back to you again in the mirror. “And I don’t want to hear about you getting into no trouble with those or any other boys. Ya hear me?”

“Ew, no,” you face twisting in disgust.

“Yeah, you say that now. Soon enough though, you’ll be just like the rest of us and find that special someone that turns ya all stupid enough to want to spend the rest of your life with em.”

You rolled your eyes again as you slumped back further into the seat, keeping you eyes on the road signs as the passed by. Sioux Falls, North Dakota 10 miles ahead. Ten more miles until you can finally stretch out properly. Ten more miles until you might get to sleep in real bed, in a real house, something you hadn’t done for almost three years.

It had been an unusually warm fall that year. With your birthday approaching, your mom and dad were busy setting up everything for your party. Uncle Danny had taken you out to pick out whatever gift you wanted- a butterfly knife with dusty rose handles. He of course argued with you, but with his vast collection of knives that you had always admired, he agreed as long as it stayed a secret between the two of you. He even had an interesting symbol etched into the blade. It was a little star that looked like flames were coming out of every corner. He said it was extra protection, whatever that had meant. After grabbing ice cream he had driven you home, only too see the door wide open with no answer. He told you to stay in the car, but of course after a few minutes you stopped listening. It was your home. Why would you have to wait outside? That’s when you saw what he wanted to protect you from. Both of your parents, ripped to shreds by what looked like an animal. There was no animal in sight though. You don’t even remember exactly what else happened that day. There were sirens and people in uniforms everywhere. Neighbors of course being nosy and gawking at the scene. What you remembered was your Uncle Danny holding you close and telling you that everything would be okay. And you believed him.

Up until now, he had tried his best to juggle everything- his job and raising you were not easy tasks. You got into fights in school quite a bit, but with the fact that you were leaving it in a week or so to go to another, who really cared? There were nights when you were all alone, waiting patiently for him to return, always wondering in that back of your mind if this was the time you’d lose him too. He always came back though, a little beaten a bruised perhaps, but always with a smile.

Eventually he finally told you where he was going during all of his trips. Fighting ghosts and other monsters sounded ridiculous to you, but eventually you realized he wasn’t kidding. He was a hunter- he saved people. And that made him that so much cooler. Over the summer he had started teaching you how to shoot and what things to look for. You had already became really good with a knife, learning little tricks and that with the one he had bought you. He had an old notebook that was filled with drawings and descriptions that you tried to memorize, the ink wearing away with each use. You asked if you could join and help on a case, but he would always tell you that it was no place for a kid to be which was complete bullshit. You could handle yourself. You weren’t scared. But with all your protests, he would not budge, thus bringing you to here.

“About 5 more minutes until we’re at Bobby’s,” he stated while turning left down the road. “Hold on to your bladder just a little longer.”

You re-positioned yourself to stare out the window to see if anything was at least interesting around this guy’s house. Nope. Trees, fields, and a couple houses every once in a while. Great - middle of fucking nowhere U.S.A. You caught the sight of what looked like the after effects of a tornado. Cars and junk everywhere with a little house in the back.

“Welcome to Singer Salvage yard.”

“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” you moaned.

“Hey, language.”

“Sorry,” you muttered before speaking up again. “But seriously, you are LITERALLY leaving me in a garbage dump. What the hell am I supposed to do here? Get tetanus?”

“No, you’re going to get an education and have a normal childhood,” his voice sounded angry. “Now I know it’s not pretty, but Bobby is a good friend. He will watch out for you and make sure you have everything you need.”

“I’m going to need a bath,” you mumbled under your breath.

When the car finally came to a complete stop and the dust from the ground settled you were able to get a better view of the place. It was alright, probably looked better on the inside. Well, at least you hoped. Still a shithole. There was another chevelle parked alongside it that was just like your uncles, but more on the run down side. Next to it, a sleek black Impala. That was probably Bobby’s car. Hunters always have a thing for muscle cars. Sturdy, reliable, fast, or “American made” as your uncle liked to state. Whatever the reason, they were nice to look at.

Two men walked out of the house with solemn looks on their faces with two teenage boys trailing behind. You followed your uncle's lead and climbed out of the car to the fresh air.

“Danny, it’s been a long time,” the dark haired man with a gruff voice stated while extending his hand for a shake.

“ Way too long Johnny,” he replied while shaking his hand before moving to the bearded guy with a baseball cap. “Bobby, thanks for doing this.”

“It’s no trouble at all. There’s already two hellions, what’s another?” He chuckled as he looked over at you staring down to the ground, pushing your chucks into the dirt. “You must be Y/N.”

“Yes sir,” you replied with a tight lipped smile.

“This is my boy Dean, he’s just a little older than you and my boy Sam who is just a bit younger,” John stated, while guiding the boys closer with his arm, although they clearly could care less.

“Dean, could you and Sam help Y/N inside?” Danny spoke up. “I know I’ve been making her wait to use the restroom, so I’m sure she’ll be grateful to know where it is.”

Dean nodded his head and grabbed at your two bags in the backseat before walking past you to go inside. Sam following. You rolled your eyes to your uncle and trailed behind to your new life- at least for now.

You were wrong about it possibly being better on the inside. Nope, it was a shithole too that was covered with books and empty liquor bottles. The decor covered by a pound of dust and cobwebs resembled something like a real house, something someone used to care about.

“Toilets over there,” Dean nodded down the hall while tossing your bags down before he flopped himself on the couch.

“Thanks,” you mumbled as you walked down the hall.

Surprisingly the toilet was at least semi clean, although there was enough hair trimmings in the sink to resemble a small animal.

After finishing in the bathroom you walked out to the living room area. Dean was sprawled out on the couch with a comic book and Sam was sitting on the floor next to him with an old worn down book. Out of place and unwelcomed were the nice ways of saying how you felt at that moment. After grabbing your book bag, you sat down at the kitchen table all alone, not knowing what else to do, but to stare at the walls.

“You boys helped Y/N find her way,” you heard your uncle's voice say as he entered the room.

Dean nodded as he turned the page on his book. Sam looked back at him, following his queue. Your uncle approached you, sitting himself down at the seat next to yours.

“See, it’s not that bad, right kiddo?”

Even though your head was down, you looked up to him through your lashes, rolling your eyes just a little towards the two boys.

“You’ll be fine,” he smiled. “Just give it a little bit and I’m sure you will all be getting along just fine when I come back.”.

“How long?” You asked although you could guess the answer already.

“Not sure kiddo,” he grabbed your hand and held it gently. “But I’m going to call every Sunday night after dinner time to check in on you. Okay?”

“Okay,” you nodded before wrapping your arms tightly around his neck. “Just come back to me okay Uncle Danny?”

“You be good Y/N;” he said as he returned your hug back before standing up again. “I’ll see you soon kiddo.”

He never promised that he would come back. It was a promise that he couldn’t make. He knew it and you knew. He always said that he would never make a promise to you that he couldn’t keep. That didn’t make it hurt any less.

You watched as he shook Bobby’s hand by the front door, turning to give you a loving smile before leaving out the door to go to the next job that awaited him.

“So, how about you boys actually show Y/N where her room is.” Bobby stated firmly, causing Dean to roll his eyes as he slapped the comic book shut. “You two know how it goes around here. We’re not savages. Now get going.”

“Yes sir,” the two of them mumbled as they got up from their spots.

Both boys each grabbed one of your bags, still not saying anything really directly to you as they walked up the stairs. Bobby was standing with his arms crossed watching them closely as you followed behind them.

“This one is where Bobby sleeps,” Sam informed you while pointing to a door. Dean and I are in this one, and you’re the last one down the hall.”

“Yeah, lucky you,” Dean scoffed. “You get your own room.”

“Lucky me,” you stated back with sarcasm. “I get to live here with you.”

Dean turned his head to you with a glare before he opened the door and switched on the light. It was a simple room, surprisingly organized and clean. It was almost like someone had cleaned it recently.

“This was Dean’s room,” Sam informed you, making you feel a little guilty about displacing him. It wasn’t like this was your choice though.

Dean tossed the bag he was carrying down onto the bed with a thud. Sam chose to use the gentler approach of setting the bag he was carrying on a chair in the corner.

“So what’s your story,” Dean asked as he sat down on the corner of the bed.

You shrugged, as you moved through the room, checking out the view from the window.

“You travel with your uncle,” Dean stated. “So where’s your parents?”

You turned and looked back to him silently, not really wanting to talk about the tragic backstory of your life.

“Okay, don't talk to us then,” Dean rolled his eyes as he stood up.

“Dead.”

He paused in his steps and turned to look at you, mouth agape. You returned to look out the window again before continuing, hoping you would see your uncles car any moment again to take you with him.

“It’s just me and Danny;” you continued as you looked over to them. “So what’s your story?”

“Mom’s been gone a long time and dad is in the business,” he stated with some sort of pride. “The family business.”

“Doesn’t a family business typically mean that more than one member of your family is doing it?” You snarked back.

“I’ve gone out on hunts before,” he stated in defense. “I’ve seen a ghost before.”

“Good for you,” you rolled your eyes again. “So why did he leave the two of you here then.”

“Dean got in some trouble on his last hunt,” Sam spoke up.

“What, did you act like an ass to the monster too?” You smirked to Dean.

“That’s a long story,” he said as he started rubbing the back of his neck. “So how long are you here for?”

“Who knows?” You responded. “Hopefully just a few days, maybe weeks.”

“And you’re like what 13?”

“Fourteen,” you corrected him. “I’ll be fifteen-.”

You stopped yourself short, not wanting to discuss or even think about the fact that you had a birth date like everyone else. It was a day you’d rather forget. You finished your sentence with the word “soon” popping off your lips.

“Are you going to be going to the high school with Dean then?” Sam asked.

“I guess so,” you shrugged. “So What is there to do around here anyways?”

“Read,” Sam replied with innocence, Dean rolling his eyes in response.

“There ain’t much to do, but there’s always something you can find to at least pass the time.”

“Like what?” You asked.

Dean laughed while nodding outside.

“Well, you like cars?” He asked as you gave him a side eyed glance. “We got tons of em out there.”

“What do you do? Try to fix em up or something?”

Dean shrugged as you all heard Bobby yelling up the stairs to start getting ready for dinner.

“Don’t keep him waiting,” Sam said as he walked out the door.

“Is Bobby strict?” You asked Dean who was still standing there, waiting for you to go downstairs as well.

“He’s alright, can be strict at times,” he replied back. “He does his best to make sure that we have some sort of normal in our lives.”

“What’s normal?” You rolled your eyes. “Being dropped off with some strange dude in a shit hole.”

“Give it time,” Dean laughed. “It’s not that bad. It’s better than staying in a crumby motel every night alone. ”

You paused your steps to the door as you heard those words leaving his lips. Motel and alone. Well that summed up the last three years of your life. Guess you did have more in common with these two boys besides being dumped off. If they could handle it, maybe it wasn’t going to be that bad after all.

The next couple weeks weren’t that bad. You had started high school with Dean showing you around. The fact that he became somewhat protective of you was probably why you didn’t seem to have any trouble with the other kids. The boys seemed to be scared of him, and the girls seemed to be in love with him. Each Sunday as promised your uncle would call to check in, consistently avoiding the topic of when he would be coming back. It was alright though. You had become so busy with your school work and hanging out with the boys that you didn’t mind it so much. Bobby’s house was slowly becoming your home.

“So to find the slope, you take the difference from the two Y points and divide by the two corresponding X points,” you stated to Dean as the two of you sat at the kitchen table.

“Why do I even care?” He grumbled.

“Well, slopes give you an idea of the rate of acceleration. Like in a car,” you stated. “Say you know that if you start at the end of the driveway and move to the other end in 60 seconds, you can determine how fast you were going.”

“Or I could just look at the speedometer,” he grinned.

“Smartass,” you laughed as you shoved his arm. “Okay, so you see a Rugalu, and they move from point A to point B in so many seconds. How fast do you have to move your ass to get the hell out of there?”

“Who says I wouldn’t stay to fight?”

You rolled your eyes to him again. Clearly at this point he was just being a smartass.

“Fine, you don’t run away. So how much faster do you have to be to gank him then Winchester?” You asked with a cocky smile.

“Just got to be faster,” he replied. “Who cares how fast?”

“Well, let me give you a little insight into physics and biology. You expel more than enough energy for a task, you deplete your energy storage. Making it easy for the other Rugulu to take you down.”

“Okay, point taken,” he laughed. “Math is important. So how did you become so smart in this shit anyways?”

“My dad was a science professor,” you shrugged, before realizing that you had mentioned him for probably the first time ever to Dean besides the fact that he was dead.

“And your mom?” Dean prodded a little further.

“History professor,” you replied while taking in a deep breath. “Guess it just rubbed off on me. Anyways, do you get it now?”

“Oh, I got it about a minute after you decided to try and help me,” he smiled. “I just wanted to see how far I could get you frustrated before you gave up.”

You smacked him lightly on his arm as he laughed in response.

“You’re a dick,” you laughed. “Why did you want to see me get frustrated?”

“Because I think it’s awesome that even when you don’t know how to help someone, it gets to you so much that you don’t quit,” he smiled. “That and when you realize that you did in fact help someone, your eyes kind of light up a little. You’re a good person Y/N.”

The way that Dean was looking at you as he spoke was so genuine; no one besides family had ever done that before. It made you feel something at that moment. What it was, you weren’t sure. You bit your lip nervously as he leaned over, pulling his text book back over to him.

“So question 4, find the y-intercept,” he read from the pages.

“You helping Dean with homework there Y/N?” Bobby stated as he entered the room with Sam, both carrying bags of groceries that could probably feed a small army. Or in this case, the Winchester boys for a weekend.

“Just making sure he gets it,” you smiled back while standing up to help them put the groceries away.

Peering into the bags, there was an item that you had told Bobby in secret that you needed that you didn’t see. He had either forgotten, or was too embarrassed to pick it up.

“Um, Bobby,” you muttered. “Ya forgot something.”

He looked at you with furrowed brows until it dawned on him. He mumbled ‘crap’ under his breath before exhaling loudly.

“I suppose you need ‘em soon,” he sighed, you nodding in response. He looked over at Dean finishing the last question of his homework and closing the book. “Dean, take Y/N and my car to the little corner store. Be back in twenty for dinner.”

Dean squinted his eyes in confusion as he grabbed the keys from Bobby. You rolling your own eyes that now Dean was going to be very well aware of the gross part about being a girl: your period.

You trailed behind Dean after Bobby handed you some cash, muttering an apology as you walked away. In less than 3 minutes, with Dean obviously ignoring anything that resembled a speed limit sign you were at the store.

“So what did you need? Make-up, hair stuff?,” he inquired as he followed you in, making you give him a funny look. “Didn’t know if all of the sudden you were trying to look like those other girls in the school.”

“I’d rather live forever in my comfy jeans and t-shirts then to ever be like them,” you snarked back, as you approached the feminine section.

Dean’s eyes followed where yours went, staring at the boxes of tampons with little flowers printed on them. It was not something he knew a lot about, but he knew enough. He reached over and grabbed a box, staring at the packaging.

“I don’t know why they try to make it all fancy,” he pondered out loud. “I mean, a girl can bleed for a few days and still kick your ass. They should have something more fierce on the box. Like a warrior princess.”

You shook your head with a laugh, catching on that Dean was trying to make this would be awkward situation into a joke.

“My dad used to say that they used these for bullet holes,” he stated while grabbing two more boxes. “We should probably stock up knowing our luck. Who knows, maybe I’ll need some.”

Your laughter died down as you followed Dean to the register when you saw a group of guys looking and nodding over to the two of you with smirks.

“Looks like Winchester isn’t getting laid this week,” the one stated out loud. “Unless he’s into walking the red carpet.”

Johsua Adams. A notorious prick that thought he was God’s gift to women. First day at school and he had already tried, and failed, to have you,the new girl cozy, up behind the bleachers with him. Dean just sat the products down on the counter, clenching his jaw as he turned to him with a grin.

“No, that’s what your girlfriend is for.”

Josh’s smile faded quickly, his face hardened now approaching Dean rapidly with you standing next to him. You felt Dean’s arm push you back by your waist, surprising you for a second until you saw what happened next. Josh yelled a ‘fuck you’ as he swung his fist towards Dean’s face, Dean almost effortlessly caught him by the wrist and twisted his arm behind his back.

“Now you’re going apologize for your remarks and you're going to go back to your little circle jerk,” he seethed, holding him steady as he tried to break free.

Josh’s friends all moved from their spot, clearly pissed off that their friend was being hurt. Dean shook his head stating ‘uh huh’ as he twisted Josh's arm more to make him yell out.

“Now I’m going to let you go,” Dean instructed the Josh in his ear, loud enough for everyone to hear. “And you all are going to leave me and my friend alone, or next time I won’t be so nice.”

Josh nodded his head, giving Dean the queue that he was going to comply. His friends all stared the two of you down hard with anger as they walked out of the store. You had almost forgotten the fact that you were in a store until you heard the onlooking cashier behind you.

“Your boyfriend there is a good guy,” she stated. “Those boys are nothing but trouble. It was about time someone showed them their place.”

You didn’t argue what she had called him: your boyfriend. Definitely not. Probably not ever. But she was right, he was a good guy. You handed her the money as you lead the way out the door to Bobby’s car. The two of you opening the doors and setting yourself in.

“Where did you learn how to do that?” You asked with enthusiasm, the whole act was something you had only seen in the movies.

“My dad,” Dean replied. “And Bobby a little. Why?”

“Teach me,” you said as your turned your body to him with intrigue in your eyes.

“What?” Dean exhaled audibly. “Why?”

“You really have to ask?,” you sounding surprised. “Come on Dean! There are tons of assholes out there like that, plus knowing how to take care of myself would definitely help with, you know...those other things that we aren’t supposed to talk about.”

“There is no way in hell I’m teaching you any of that,” he looked at you directly with seriousness on his face. “You haven’t had to know what it’s like to fight for your life; you’re lucky and blessed. And I will be dammed if I ever let you get mixed up in that shit.”

“It’s not like I’m not already mixed up in it Dean! Something supernatural killed my parents. Hell, I’m being raised by hunters! Do you really think I will ever just get on with my life and not have that following me?”

Dean growled lowly, as he shook his head.

“Fine,” he stated as he turned the key in the ignition to bring the engine to life. “But this is between us. If Bobby knew, he’d kill me.”

“I promise.”

“And leave Sam out of it too. That kid is going to be a doctor or lawyer someday.”

“No problem,” you agreed. “Thanks Dean, for you know, what happened in there.”

“ Anytime,” he said as he pulled out of the spot and drove down the road. “He had it coming to him anyway.”

“And I know why you’re scared to teach me how to fight Dean.”

He glanced over at you with confusion, making you smirk in return.

“Because you know I’ll be able to kick your ass,” you replied with snark.

“Oh darlin,” he shook his head with a laugh. “You haven’t seen anything yet.”

The next week, Dean and you had figured out a routine on when he was able to teach you. Most of the time it was right after dinner when Sam would be caught up in a book and Bobby would pass out drunk at his desk.

The garage light was enough for you to see what you were doing, and far enough away from the house so they couldn’t hear you.

“Okay, so again,” Dean stated, making you follow his directions in the sequence as he rattled them off. “Left punch, right punch, left uppercut, and a right hook.”

You did as you were told, until he stated to go faster, and then faster again. Dean shook his head in disapproval as he watched.

“You’re locking your arms too much,” he said as he gripped your right elbow. “You’re going to break something of yours, not theirs.”

His hands moved to reposition your arm, tickling a little as he touched your skin; making you flinch back with a giggle.

“Ticklish huh?” Dean smirked as his eyes grew wide.

“You wouldn’t dare,” you laughed, as you noticed the devilish look in his eyes.

He reached over as you tried to move out of the way, and furiously tickled you all over in an instant. Your laughter echoed through the room as you tried to get away, but he was not stopping.

“Stop Dean! Stop,” you gasped out in between your laughter, tears now rolling down you eyes. “I’m going to piss myself!”

He continued with his own laughter as you twisted yourself and started to fumble backwards; grabbing onto his arms to bring him down as well as your back hit the ground.

“Ow,” you laughed again, Dean propping himself up on his hands next to your sides, staring down with a grin. “See what you did?”

“Rule number one,” he smiled. “Know your opponents weak spots.”

“Uh huh, and where’s yours?” You smirked as you started to tickle his rib cage.

Dean moved swiftly and pinned your hands down on the ground with a smirk. Your breath caught in the moment, with your chest rising and falling deeply to catch it. He stared down at you as you looked up to him. The feeling that arose was different, and by the looks on his face he was feeling it as well. He paused himself for a moment, before leaning down and pressing his lips onto yours gently. An act that surprised you at first, but it felt right. Your first kiss. Your first real kiss was happening with Dean on a dirty garage floor, but you didn’t care. You found yourself returning it, moving your lips along with his, opening them just a little as you felt his tongue glide across them. You didn’t really know what to do. It’s not like this was really covered in health class, but you glided your tongue with his, moving them together in sync. It felt smooth, sending a warm feeling down your body as you felt his hand now touching your face, bringing you closer and deeper into his.

“Whoa,” you heard Sam gasp aloud, causing you to both break away and look over at him in panic.

“What the hell Sam!” Dean yelled.

“So that’s what you two are doing,” Sam smiled. “You two are making out every night!”

“Get out of here Sam before I kick your ass!” Dean yelled again.

“Whatever,” Sam rolled his eyes. “Just don’t let Bobby, dad, or her uncle catch you. They just called.” They’re coming back.”

“He’s coming back?” You sat yourself up, knocking Dean back a little in your action. “When?”

“They said they’d be here after school tomorrow,” Sam answered. “So that probably means we will be moving on too.”

Dean sighed out loud and nodded as he stood up, shaking the dirt off of him before extending his hand to you to help you up. As you got up you felt the mixed feelings of dread and excitement. You were going to see your uncle again, but at the same time you were now probably going to lose Dean. You stared down to the ground as you followed the boys back into the house. Dean instructing Sam to keep his mouth shut about what he had seen. You went upstairs to your room, trying to ignore Dean’s glances as you shut the door and flopped down on the bed. The feeling of his lips still lingered on yours as you gentled touched them with your fingers. What was going to happen next?

You awoke from your deep sleep as you heard the sound of your door opening. Glancing at the clock it was just a little after midnight. You sat up and turned to see Dean walking in with a solemn look on his face.

“Hey, didn’t mean to wake you,” he apologized.

“Yes you did,” you smiled in the dark room, the only light peaking through the curtains from the moon outside.

“I just thought, since tomorrow we might be parting ways, maybe we should talk about what happened?” He nervously replied.

You nodded as he sat down on the edge of your bed, you sitting up straighter and pulling the covers up to your chest. You could see the hesitation in his face, unsure of what exactly to say. The silence was lingering, only growing with anticipation of what he was about to say fiercely within you.

“I’m sorry Y/N,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have kissed you like that.”

You were confused for a moment, but you laid your hand on top of his in reassurance.

“Hey, it’s alright,” you replied softly. “It was nice. Unexpected of course, but I don’t regret it.”

“I’ve just, I don’t know,” he paused again. “I just was trying to keep you away from knowing how I felt about you.”

“How do you feel about me?”

“I like you Y/N,” he confessed as he looked at you. “I mean, it's hard not to. You’re someone who genuinely cares about people, and I didn’t want you to get hurt when I had to leave again.”

“What makes you so sure that you will have to leave?” you asked. “I mean, maybe they’ll let us stay here for a little longer.”

“Doubt it,” he sighed. “You don’t know my dad. He won’t care. The only thing that matters to him is taking care of Sam and finding what killed my mom.”

“But what about you Dean? I’m sure he cares about you.”

Dean shook his head, you catching the sight of a lingering tear fall down his face.

“I was happy once before, not too long ago. I had a semi normal life away from them with someone I cared about, but he didn’t care and I couldn’t leave Sammy.”

“Dean,” you found yourself reaching for his face to look at you. You searched in his face to find whatever guilt he was holding back. “Tell me what happened.”

He sighed again as you dropped your hand down. His eyes searching for an easy way to tell you, possibly scared at your reaction.

“You know how Sam told you I had screwed up on a hunt? Well that isn’t true. I got myself in trouble and found myself at a boy’s reforming home. I got to go to school, do normal teenage things, and I had met someone there that I think I might have loved.”

You just found yourself nodding, although the last part hurt just a little, but you could tell it was still something he was still hurting from.

“Anyways, my dad showed up after months even though he knew where I was the whole time and made me come back. He was angry and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Then of course I thought of Sam. I’ve been protecting that kid my whole life. I couldn’t walk away from him.”

“I understand,” you whispered. “But Dean, you do know that you can be happy again. No one knows what tomorrow will bring.”

“How is it that you always know the right thing to say?” he chuckled softly.

“Because I’m awesome,” you smirked back with a soft laugh.

“Yeah, well I’m going to get back to my room before Sammy realizes that I’ve left,” he said as he started to get up, but you grabbed his hand to stop him.

“If this is really possibly the last night I get to see you, I don’t want you to go,” you confessed as you let your grip fall. “I don’t know exactly whatever it was that I felt earlier, but I don’t want to give it up yet.”

Dean looked deeply into your eyes as he moved to crawl under the covers with your assistance of pushing them back to allow him access. He laid his head down on the pillow next to you, gazing at you, moving the hair out of your face as you mirrored him. You nuzzled your face into his hand as he cupped your cheek. He was hesitant, but you moved your face closer to his. Biting your lip a little before you leaned in and felt his soft, full lips on yours once again. He followed your lead and before you knew it, you felt the same warmth as you did before now hitting harder as your lips moved together by the light of the moon. It was a feeling you never wanted to let go of as you pushed your lips on his harder. His hands now resting on you, one holding your head steady, the other caressing your hip. It tickled a little, the way his hand touched your skin, making you moan just a little, wanting more. His lips moved from yours, trailing along your skin and down to your neck as his hand moved from your hip to your heaving chest. Through your clothes you could feel him grasping your breast gently, not wanting to be rough. You didn’t know exactly what had pushed you in the moment, but you pulled away from him and lifted off your shirt to leave your chest expose to him. You wanted to feel his skin against yours as he watched you with wonderment in his eyes before crashing his lips against yours once more. His hands were now all over you, feeling every inch of you as you continued. His lips moving to discover new spots on your body and the pleasure-filled reactions they ensued from you. It could have been only minutes that it continued, but it felt like forever until the kisses and touches started to slow down. Dean looked into your eyes, as he pulled away with a deep breath.

“I think I love you Y/N,” he confessed. “And I don’t want us to do anything that neither of us are ready for just because we may never see each other again.”

“I think I might love you too Dean,” you smiled back. “And I agree with the one part, but I know this; we will see each other again. When we’re both ready, perhaps a bit older, things will be different.”

“You always know just the right thing to say,” he smiled again as he pulled you into his arms to lay your head on his chest.

“Goodnight Dean,” you yawned as you nuzzled into him.

Dean placed a kiss on top of your head, not allowing himself to fall asleep right away. He wanted to hold on to this feeling just a little longer as well because tomorrow, he knew it was all going to change.

“Jesus fucking christ,” you heard Bobby yell out loud, snapping you awake in an instant.

Dean sprung himself up from the bed, leaving you to cover yourself up with the blanket. A look of fear and panic in his eyes.

“What the hell is going on here?” Bobby demanded.

Dean held out his hand to try and calm him down, but it was not working.

“Bobby, it isn’t what it looks like,” Dean pleaded. “We didn’t do anything. We were just talking and I fell asleep.”

“Her shirt was off, and you just fell asleep?” Bobby looked at Dean with disappointment. “Do I look like an idjit to you? Now the two of you get dressed, in your own rooms. You have school and then your dad and your uncle will be here after.”

“You’re not going to tell them are you?” you asked in a panic.

Bobby glared at the fear in Dean’s and your eyes as you awaited his answer.

“I’m supposed to be watching the two of you, and Dean you know better,” he glared at him hard. “I for sure ain’t saying shit to them. But you listen to me, this stops now or so help me I will kick both of your asses into next Tuesday.”

“Yes sir,” you both nodded in reply, feeling a little sense of relief.

“Now get dressed,” Bobby stated as he walked out the door.

You took in a deep breath and exhaled out as you turned to Dean who was almost out the door.

“Dean?”

“You heard him, get dressed,” Dean said gruffly before walking out, shutting the door behind him.

Dean hadn’t said anything else to you as you silently ate your breakfast and on your way to school. He was completely ignoring you now, even when you tried to speak, he chose to go the other way or say something to someone else. How he was acting was hurt, but you tried to just let it go, knowing he probably was just protecting himself and you from what awaited when you walked through the door after school.

You saw your uncle and John sitting there waiting with Bobby. None of their faces really looked happy.

“Dad-“ you heard Sam say as he walked in behind you.

“Time to pack your bags boys,” he instructed. “We’re moving on.”

“Yes sir,” you heard Dean state as he started for the stairs.

“Where are you going?” You asked out loud, making them all look at you in disbelief that you would even question what was happening.

“Say goodbye to Sam and Dean, Y/N,” Danny stated as he stood up and gave you a small hug. “It’ll be awhile before you see them again.”

“This is bullshit,” you exclaimed. “Why do any of them, any of us have to go anywhere? What to live in the back of a car or a crappy motel, not knowing if any of you will ever come back?”

“Danny, settle down that girl there,” John advised.

“No, fuck you, ya prick,” you spat out, causing his eyes to widen in surprise. “They’re happy here, we all are. Bobby may not be our family, but he’s been here. He is at least trying to give us a normal life. Why can’t you just leave us alone?”

You felt guilty after hearing your words leave your mouth, as you looked up to your uncle. He had tried to be there, he just couldn’t. You now realized why he had brought you here in the first place. He knew he couldn’t do everything you needed. He was really trying to give you the life you deserved.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” you cried to your uncle before you ran out the door.

You plopped yourself down on the ground, tears flowing down your face. You heard the sound of gravel moving under someone’s steps, but you didn’t flinch.

“That was some speech you gave in there,” John’s rough voice stated as he sat himself down next to you. “I can see you’ve really become attached to my boys and this place.”

You just nodded your head, feeling anger and resentment towards the man next to you.

“Me too,” he confessed. “That’s why they’re coming with me.”

You looked at him baffled, not understanding why he was even talking to you after what you just said.

“Your uncle is a strong man. One of the best guys I’ve ever known. He is doing right by you in letting you stay. I’m not as strong,” he sighed. “I need them around. I look at them and on my weakest days I can see my Mary in their faces. It’s what keeps me going as I try to figure out what happened to her.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I feel like everything has been sugar coated for you for probably way too long,” he replied. “What happened to her, what happened to your parents, well someone has to stop it.”

“My parents…”

“We’re not sure if it’s the same thing, but we sure as hell won’t stop until we find it and kill it,” he answered back. “I know it’s a tough life for all of you kids, but you’re getting older now. You should know. Dean, he has been in this for so long, he knows what is expected. Sam, well although I’d like to keep him out of it, this has been his whole life. This is just what happens. You say your goodbyes and move on.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“You will,” he smiled.

You both heard the door of the house swing open and shut, Dean walking out with a green duffel bag with Sam behind him. He paused as he looked at you both, unsure of what was happening. John looked over at you and Dean staring at each other, as Dean put his head down and helped Sam into the car.

“They’ll be alright Y/N,” John stated, making you turn your head to him. “And so will you.”

He got up from his spot and brushed the dirt off of him as he walked towards his sleek black car.

“You boys all set?” He asked.

Dean nodded as he stood there with the car door open, looking at you with sadness in his eyes. John turned to see you doing the same as he opened up the drivers door.

“Let’s get a move on it,” he said as he sat himself inside.

Dean looked down again, before looking back to you. You mouthed the word ‘goodbye’ as he nodded and got inside the car. The trail of dust they had left behind took minutes to disappear, but as it went down slowly and was gone, you knew they were now as well.

John’s words with everything that had happened replayed in your head. ‘You will’ he said, and at that moment, you hadn’t realized or known just how true that really was.

Tags: (Let me know if you don’t want added!) @snffbeebee @waywardnerd67 @waywardbaby @dean-winchesters-bacon @jaylarkson @ladywinchester1967 @wildefire @i-hear-crazy-calling-my-name @hobby27 @iamabeautifulperson18 @19agbrown @sonotalice @drakelover78 @aloneanddesperate @pisces-cutie @biawol @jamielea81 @fallininjapan @justkending

#supernatural #supernatural series #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #ten years gone #ezilyamuzed #dean winchester #john winchester #bobby singer #dean x reader

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tessatechaitea · 5 years ago

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Justice League #34

If Doom wins then how come this issue isn't subtitled "Doom Risen"?

Ugh. How long has this Doom event been fucking going on?! My advice to Snyder: next time, make Lex Luthor smarter so his plan comes to fruition quicker! Some of the Justice League are in the past hiding in Atlantis with the Justice Society as a captured Poseidon tries to destroy it. They need Vandal Savage's help to get the totality to the future so John Stewart convinces him by yelling, "Oorah!" Hourman and Alan Scott jizz their jeans over his masculinity and decide that maybe a negro member of the Justice Society wouldn't be such a bad thing. You might think I'm letting my cynical view of the world reinterpret the scene in a fairly unforgiving way but I assure you it doesn't come across much better than that. I wonder how they'd feel if John Stewart had convinced Vandal to help them using architecture metaphors?

Did I accidentally pick up the extra-gay version of this month's Justice League?

I think I accidentally stumbled into a new way for DC to make money. Forget variant covers and foil card insert. Why don't they put out extra-gay issues?! They could call one version the "Extra-Straight" version and the other version the "Extra-Gay" just so we don't get into the weeds arguing about why one is called the "Normal Issue." Although I think if two comic books existed that were slight variations of each other and one was the "Extra-Straight" version and one was the "Extra-Gay" version, it would totally be more gay to buy the "Extra-Straight" version. It sounds like that one is going to be full of shirtless men wrestling in totally non-boner inducing ways that are actually super boner inducing. If DC won't take my super great moneymaking idea that will wind up selling a billion issues of Harley and Poison Ivy #1 (Extra-Gay version) then maybe I can trademark the idea of "Extra-Straight" comic books and sue all the Comicsgaters producing comic books. Do Comicsgate comic books have copy on the covers in huge fonts that say things like "No Gay Characters!" and "If a Character is Black, It's Totally Plot Related!" and "This Won't Pass the Bechdel Test. AT ALL!"? I think I'm making Comicsgate comic books sound more interesting than they really are! I bet most of them are boring super hero punch ups where characters occasionally reference Pepe the Frog and fly through the air in a pose like they're heiling Hitler. Back to the plot, is Barry Allen really interested in wearing his hair long? Why am I suddenly finding him interesting? I almost wrote "more interesting" but, you know, it's Barry Allen. The most interesting thing he ever did was appearing out of nowhere during Crisis on Infinite Earths and disintegrating. Unless Barry was actually asking John if John thought he could rip Vandal's hair off of his head. Although that interpretation makes Barry more interesting as well. What I'm saying is this is the most interesting panel Barry Allen has ever been a part of. Meanwhile in the future (if that makes any sense at all), Kamandi has gathered up heroes from various futures to RRHAAAOOOR! I'm told by editorial that "RRHAAAOOOR" means "kick some ass" in panther. How come it's usually okay to swear in a foreign language in an all ages comic book?

One of the "heroes" he brings is Lobo. So Brainiac is fucked.

An easy way to tell if a comic book fan is a psychopath is to gauge how angry they get at two things I love to write (largely for that reaction): Deathstroke is a pedophile and Lobo is the most powerful and most fuckable and greatest character to ever come out of DC. Along with websites that track known pedophiles in your neighborhood, I think we should also have a database of people who get irate at the idea that Deathstroke is a pedophile. They go fucking crazy defending a fictional character's reputation over something not worth defending! I might agree they have a point that using the term "pedophile" is misleading at best. He's more of a statutory rapist! But even that gets their Quixotic gears turning. Yes, I'm comparing myself to a majestic windmill. The Lobo thing doesn't get people so incensed but it does bring out a lot of actually nerds who don't understand how much fun I'm having with my hyperbolic love of such a one trick character. My favorite thing about Lobo is that he looks cool in a way that doesn't look cool at all. How did they do that?! He's a hot clown! He's a MILF: mechanic I'd like to fuck! He's so over-the-top that I can't understand people who try to take him seriously. He's the greatest joke DC has ever played on their readers and I love him unironically. Also, you know Lobo leaves you satisfied after he fucks you. And I don't think it matters if you're female or male or space dolphin. He's gonna give it to you fucking good.

Twelve year old me would totally jerk off to this picture.

The pieces of the Totality are secured and all the Starmen throughout time are linked together psychically. It's their last chance! Perpetua is about to be defeated! I will ignore the cover and pretend that everything is going to work out and that Hawkgirl isn't going to fuck it all up with her desire to bash Luthor in the back of the head with her mace. Hopefully J'onn J'onzz will finally assert his will and get her back on track. Or else the multiverse is doomed! You know. Like Luthor has been trying to explain for forty-five issues. Welp. Kendra fucked it all up. Perpetua is risen. All hail Doom. Justice League #34 Final Thoughts: Okay, fine. The big plan failed and Doom won and Perpetua can now manipulate the multiverse however she wants. But there's one thing she forgot to do before declaring victory: she didn't kill Batman. What a fucking amateur move! The first villain to actually begin by killing Batman will be the first villain to completely take over everything. I guess that's why The Joker is the smartest villain in the DC Universe. He's doing the real work.

#Justice League #Bruno Redondo #Howard Porter #DC #DC Comics

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maple-leafing · 6 years ago

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Auston Matthews Fluff Alphabet

A = Attractive. What do they find attractive about the other?

Auston loves your eyes. He could spend hours just staring into them like they hold the word within them.

You love love love his smile. There’s no denying that when he smiles, there’s a warmth that spread through your entire body.

B = Baby. Do they want a family? Why/Why not?

Of course! Auston has always wanted a family. Sure he’s young and can be kind of reckless at times, but he’s always seen himself settling down and having a large family that he can share his love with.

C = Cuddle. How do they cuddle?

Auston definitely likes being the big spoon. He enjoys running his hands through your hair while you’re cuddling.

D = Dates. What are dates with them like?

Casual. He doesn’t like going all out because it can make both you, and him feel uncomfortable. He prefers when you’re both in your element, the kind of dates where you can be yourselves and not have to worry about expectations.

E = Everything. You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…)

You are his sun. Everything you do brightens his world for the better. Auston can see everything clearer and understands life for what it is.

He is your heart. Auston makes you feel alive and pushes you to do things outside of your comfort zone. He brings out the passion in the things you do, and everything you are.

F = Feelings. When did they know they were falling in love?

Auston was terrified. He didn’t catch feeling easily, or hardly at all. When he fell for you in a matter of months, he didn’t know what to do. He knew he’d fallen hard when he’d seen you laughing and dancing around with Patrick Marleau’s kids. The way you were so carefree and yet gentle, he couldn’t want anything more.

G = Gentle. Are they gentle? If so, how?

Mmm it depends. Auston is as passionate as they come so he can be rougher, but most of the time he’s gentle and calming. He always makes you feel safe but he can be unpredictable at times.

H = Holding Hands. How do they like to hold hands?

Auston likes to link your hands together, especially when you’re in public. He likes showing you off because he feels lucky to be with you.

I = Impression. First impression/s?

You thought he was kind of a dick and you ended up telling him off. He thought you were uptight. You didn’t really get along in the beginning, but things definitely escalated from there.

J = Joker. Are they into pulling pranks?

Auston’s not really a prankster. Because Willy and Mitch are such high energy trouble makers, he doesn’t feel he needs to be. He feels a lot of pressure to be more mature and you understand that. That doesn’t mean you won’t pull the occasional prank on him though.

K = Kiss. How do they kiss?

Passionate. Your kisses are always fiery. Sometimes they’re softer, but most of the time they’re more rough, fast, and passionate.

L = Love. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

Surprisingly him, although he didn’t mean for it to slip out. He was so terrified you didn’t feel the same way that early into your relationship that he told you to forget about it. You didn’t take that at all and told him you loved him too. You have a tendency not to take his bullshit and when he’s too afraid to show you how much he loves you, you’re not afraid to show him how much you love him.

M = Memory. What’s their favourite memory together?

Definitely the time you first kissed. You’d both been arguing over god knows what, and it was pouring rain when Auston unexpectedly kissed you. It was so cliche that you ended up laughing afterwards, Auston making a joke that opposites attract.

N = Nickel. Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?

You’re an independent person. You don’t want Auston to buy you everything. He likes to slurge on gifts for you every once in a while and vice versa, but you’re both more into spending quality time with each other.

O = Orange. What colour reminds them of their other half?

You remind him of a green. Like nature, you calm him and make him feel safe.

He reminds you of a red. He’s much like a ball of fire. He puts everything he has into everything he does, and when he does that, nothing can stop him.

P = Petnames. What petnames do they use?

I can definitely see him calling you sweet petnames in Spanish. Babe is certainly a big one for him.

You like calling him “four” as a joke for the amount of goals he scored in his first nhl game.....He hates it. Babe, love, darling, are also ones you use.

Q = Quaint. What is their favourite non-modern thing?

I don’t know if this would count but you both like to sit in and read some days.

R = Rainy Day. What is their favourite thing to do on a rainy day?

The two of you enjoy cuddling and watching movies on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn. Sometimes that popcorn ends up being used for a food fight (or ends up all over the floor because Auston’s cheeky and can’t keep his hands off of you ;))

S = Sad. How do they cheer themselves/others up?

Believe it or not, whenever the two of you are upset, you talk. Good therapeutic talks. You vent to each other and honestly is makes you so much closer.

T = Talking. What do they like to talk about?

Everything and anything. Because you didn’t get along very well in the beginning, you both thought it was important to learn about each other and now that you’ve started learning, neither of you ever want to stop.

U = Unencumbered. What helps them relax?

Just being in the others presence immediately does the trick.

V = Vaunt. What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?

Auston lovessss to show you off. He’s surprised he could ever get a girl like you, a girl who hadn’t been seeking out his attention for fame.

W = Wedding. When, how, where do they propose?

He proposes in Arizona over the summer after your 4 year anniversary. He’d been planning it with his mother for a long while, deciding on taking you out and proposing to you under the star light.

X = Xylophone. What’s their song?

End of the Summer: Alec Benjamin

Y = You. You are the ___ to my ___ (e.g. the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

You are the Rose to his Jack. The both of you are complete opposites, yet find yourself being similar in many ways, it’s odd, but it’s lovely all the same.

Z = Zebra. If they wanted a pet, what would they get?

A dog probably. You’re not sure what kind, but you’d most likely adopt one from a shelter.

#nhl imagines #hockey imagines #nhl imagine #hockey fanfiction #fluff alphabet #player alphabet

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goprandall · 6 years ago

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DC MASTERPOST >3

It’s no secret the DC universe is something of a DCpointment. There’s no cohesion in sotrylines, films are released at odd and illogical times and I decided to rewatch and give proper reviews.

MAN OF STEEL 2013 7/10

This film is something of an outlier on the DCEU, because it is not terrible.

The strengths of this film are defiantly the first act, I feel it was a clear and concise way to create backstory without the stereotypes of following him through childhood into adulthood, they did a great job of creating krypton and establishing an antagonist with a clear motive. I liked the jump straight into adult with flashbacks when confronted with items from his past, it allowed us to understand his past without saturating his journey all at once. Arguably the first arc of this film is completed here with Clark/kal discovering who he is and why he is here. The second arc of General Zod trying to bring back his people is still very well done, providing us more relevant backstory and shows logical actions from both sides of the fight nearing the end of the film. The biggest weakness of the film in my opinion is that it is 20 minutes too long. When superman destroys Zods ship killing the artificial children of krypton, I feel this arc was complete, although the after fight solely fought between SM and Zod does show us the struggle superman goes through becoming the last kryptonite in exaistance, this does not outweigh the pointless mass destruction this causes, on top of a already destroyed city. In my cut this would be disregarded.

Final thoughts of the film; my favourite part was the shot of ‘ALERT’ that slowly turns to ‘Toner empty’, a good transition and piece of direction. I’m giving this film 7/10, in my classification would make it a good Netflix film, one I’d be happy to watch but not pay money to solely see. It was a hard choice to not make it a 6 however, I rank wonder women as a 7, and this is more than equally as good, the only things preventing me from giving it a higher rank is it’s rewatchability. Personally I rarely would due to its lack of joy and humour, and overall darkness, not just in plot but also in cinematography and colour grading.

BATMAN V SUPERMAN 2016 6/10

Batman v superman had all the the ingredients to be the summer blockbuster, but as predicted it followed every DC film and tanked.

Their are some aspects of this film that are genuinely good, giving it a 6, one of those things is the first act of the film where we are introduced to Batman, although I didn’t personally feel the need for another origin story, the way this scene is directed especially with the earl sequence is fantastic, adding depth and differing from older versions of the same story. The other good thing about this film is the Batman fight scene, it is so well articulated and choreographed, i struggle to see how it fits within the wider film which is strangely badly directed, edited and in-cohesive.

Continuing from this idea, I feel the dream sequences are one of the leading problems for the in-cohesion of the film, the issue with these sequences is, if they are not well done it stops the audience trusting more daring scenes, ultimately taking you out of the story. Next, I feel another reason this doesn’t live up to its hype is, again, DCs continuous frenzy of oversaturating it’s film with characters. Here I argue Wonder women is not needed in the end fight, the fight could just have easily gone on sitbout her, or, if they had released wonder women before this film so we felt more engrossed in the character it wouldn’t been fine. However her and all the other justice league promo clips, should not have been in the film in the context they were as they’re a corporate shoehorn, promoting further projects. The other character I feel is unneeded is ‘Doomsday’, he’s quickly thrown in at the end of the film, and honesty an antigunist shown to us at the end of the film will never give the depth and fear of a hero fight, as a villain shown throughout the movie.

To me, Batman V Superman is a movie. Not a film, crafted and worked on to create a narrative for the audience, but a summer movie to get the kids out the house. The idea of having two meta humans as important as Batman and superman battling each other should boggle the mind, as the first avengers did for me or civil war for a closer comparison. But the difference with the MCU spectaculars is, they earned their right to blow people’s minds, DC is playing catch up and trying to get praise and awe without the hard work.

SUICIDE SQUAD 2016 3/10

Wow. This review has been hard to create and will most likely feature ideas from other reviews via podcasts and YouTube due to the fact this movie boggled my head in the sheer awfullness that ensued.

As always, I begin with the strengths of the film. In this instance it’s slight. I loved the aesthetics of the branding for the film, the colours, the neon animations, I loved it all. The mini descriptions in the film were funny and added to the VeRy little personalities of the characters. It is important to point out this clearly wasn’t present in the first edits of the film, but due to good feedback of later trailers that were released they were added, which is why this element of humour is the only of its kind that lands in the film.

Next I normally look into the storyline and the character arcs of the film, arguably my second favourite aspect to look for in a film. In suicide squad there is none, and there aren’t any. That sounds harsh, but the reality is there is no cohesive storyline, it follows no one character individually and the film darts back and fourth between every character, no matter the timeframe. Dean Dobbs (from adventures with dean and Bertie’s podcast) best describes this as ‘like playing a video game where someone is skipping every cutscene’ and this is absolutly true, especially when looking at the relationship of the joker and Harley Quinn. This film is so badly edited, As jack Howard describes, this film contains no scenes, it is obvious the whole film was rehashed and re-edited after the release of BVS (which crashed at the box office) and the final trailer was released, which was very different from the first few as it showed humour and action, and it is evident they cut out almost everything apart from these things. I would best describe it as many GoPrandall videos I have scrapped as I tend to forget to film opening sequencers and filler clips to show the progression of the story told apart from the action, and this is exactly how I felt about the editing of this film, they did the best with what they got but it wasn’t enough.

Although there was a lack of character arcs, this film had an ABUNDANT amount of characters to fill its shoes. This film crams as many famous faces in as many characters

As it can, because for some reason DC refuses to create stand alone films due to the catch up to the MCU that’s going on. We’ll start with the joker, or more exactly the 10 minuets of joker we got. Many scenes with the joker were so heavily edited, and deleted, it is hard to judge Jared Letos performance, because he didn’t have chance to give one. But, as a side note the hand on the mouth laugh is one of the WORST cinema moments I’ve experienced only closely beaten by ‘were bad guys it’s what we do’. Yuck. But we’ll finally look at the ‘suicide squad’, although looking at them it’s hard to identify why they are in this squad. We’ll start with reason no one on the team seems to have a reason to be there, aprt from deadshot, who had his daughters arc to think about. All the others just seem to around and don’t want to die and get out of prison. VERY good motives DC, you’ve outdone yourself this time. Next we can look at the abilities of this so called ‘meta human’ squad and how under utilised they really are, which could show why this film failed so badly. Firstly deadshot- ‘never misses a bullet- amazing at trick shots.’ Who in the film performs close quarter headshots, the same as the Seal team next to him, and in the film performs 1 trick shot. 1. That was in establishing scene right at the beginning, but he isn’t the only victim, we can look at Boomerang, my favourite character by far, with one the coolest abilities, who throws a total of:5 boomerangs and catches: 2. Let’s be honest Harely is there as the jokers Love Interest and to keep him in the film. We can also look at el deablo, the man that can shoot fire but refuses until he’s bullied for a whole minute. The worlds worst archaeologist who starts the entire battle, after BREAKING AN ANTIQUE immediatly after finding it (bravo) who if wasn’t attempted to be weaponised, would’ve skipped this whole mess. Slipknot, a man who could climb any wall or anything, who immediatly dies after climbing a wall, but don’t worry because they don’t even want you to worry about this due to the fact they don’t even intro him before he magically appears on the squad, hoping the audience will react ‘oh he’s going to be important!!! What a mystery man!!’. This is almost as bad as Katana, who adds nothing the story apart from a short intro and when she cries to her dead husband, at which point I began to cut my toenails, something I gave more of a shit about.

But, it is obvious I’m a teenage marvel fanboy just shitting on DC,and I hate when people complain without offering another viewpoint, therefore, to fix this, I would dedicate this film to the viewpoint of deadshot, giving him the character arc of changing with the goal of seeing his daughter- eliminate the extra characters- slipknot/katana and either dedicate more time to the joker and harley sub plot or eliminate entirely, NOT BOTH. With this, better editing around these eliminated plot points could make a more coherent story with more empathetic story arcs. I have a full idea for a plot but this is too long as it is.

WONDER WOMEN 2017 7/10

Wonder women is a refreshing instalment into the DCEU, showing they seem to e learning, but are still falling behind on some of the most basic hurdles.

Firstly, as always we’ll start off with the strengths of his film, firstly it is vividly important to recognise that this is the first major Superhero film to be directed, and sustain a heavy female cast. It does so fantastically and leaves me more excited for the next instalment now knowing female directors and stars now have evidence for an accomplished superhero movie, which arguably has outdone the past 2 major films. With this we see a brilliantly refreshing opening act with a subtle and bright, vibrant origin story.

However, this film slowly returns to madness throughout the film when major plot holes appear, and the film making quality slowly deteriorates. Firstly, the iggest plot hole that has been so easily overlooked is the WW1 aspect. Given a World War Two film, having the Germans be the sole enemy is obvious and logical, however WW1 is not as simple as this and the use of Germans as the enemies is vaguely lazy. Also, as DC loves to do, it adds in extra characters and neglects to give them logical and coherent backstory and arcs. We only need to look at the ‘best marksman in the war’ who doesn’t fire a single shot, and continues not too all the way to the end of the film, showing no growth. The final plot hole is what draws it into the wider EU. The entirety of this film is showing Diana that the human race is bad and should be left alone, although when she defeats arias, this is meant to break this curse and peace seems to be restored. But, in BVS she claims to have stopped helping mankind because of their evils, neglecting Stalin, WW2 and the Vietnam war to name a few, but making a reappearance for- lex Luther. Wow.

Although in almost most of its entirety this was a pleasant watch, my personal issue stopped this at the third act when the final fight begins. To me the film returns to DCs favourite colour scheme of dark and clouded, and uses quite frankly some of the worst CGI I’ve seen recently, making me wonder why they didn’t at least try to incorporate real elements, such as Marvel, but this is still the best DC film after man of steel and I’m excited to see more female led and directed films come to screen.

JUSTICE LEAUGE 2016 5/10

This will be the shortest of the DC reviews, this is the film I’ve seen least of the lot and I feel I’ll need at least another viewing to get a full understanding. To premise this I fully understand Zack Snyder had personal issues leading him to leave and Joss take over, and this is in no way mocking him.

But I’ll dive in, maybe the fact I’m struggling to write this review tells me a lot about the movie. Wonder women was one of the only saving graces of this move, she was well understood and I feel her likeness as a character was well transferred from WW to JL. Contrary to this, I’m struggling to write about cyborg and flash, we were given next to no backstorys, although the flash’s was hinted at at least twice that I recall and what we were given were quite chaotic. Batman was a major letdown for me, coming down from BVS where he was a certified badass taking on superman, he turns into a wimp and hides for a majority of the film, quite evidently showing Ben affleck Clearly does not want to be there. I feel the overall plot of the film was almost underatsnvle, but had the taken the time to set up this storyline in previous films it would’ve been much better, this movie lacked the right to have all these characters on screen together. The characters had adequate screen time each, but contrary to its biggest rival ‘the avengers’ this really wasn’t that special, most of the characters had the same abilities, barring the flash, and the way the avengers films have shown all the characters working together simultaneously in cinematic mastery, you can see hints of Joss attempting this, but with a bad set up it’s an impossible task.

I conclude, not going into the issue with the CGi because I don’t have that much time.

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creativeconmans · 6 years ago

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The Batman Rant

It’s always a bit embarrassing to have your first blog post. Especially if it’s a rant. Moreso if you catch yourself trying to be profound in doing so. With this bit of self-observation out of the way, I’d like to talk about something that has happened some time ago: Batman #50.

Now, I shall do something horrible and assume that everyone reading this knows the arc and issue in question – and all the rest of you people don’t care enough to be hurt by any and all spoilers this post may contain.

I have, living in Russia, discovered the whole arc of the Batcat wedding only recently. The stories precluding the wedding were… different, though not too meaningful, soap opera in DC Universe, which is more or less standard, wrapped up in some of the best art I have seen in popular media. Thanks for that trend. And then came the issue of a wedding that has been built up for a year not happening, that began with a series of very, very questionable choices by both characters, which turned out to be a catastrophe instead. That is, by the way, how I found out about the existence of Tom King and that spoke volumes to me about his writing.

But if that was all, I don’t think it would really merit blogging about it. I have studied some threads – what few I could find – where the fans stated their own reactions not to the spoiler (I actually think this could have been damage control from DC – spoil the issue so that people don’t crash too hard), but to the story. Only three points emerged throughout, and that was that

a. People loved Tom King and his writing (apparently)

b. People thought that DC considered marriage toxic

c. People think that breaking the Bat has been done so many times it’s not even remotely funny. Not even in the Joker’s terms. Although, perhaps…

There were a couple of less frequently encountered points – and one of them was that a fulfilled – if not happy – Bruce Wayne would be, in fact, far more effective at stopping shit from happening that a permanently hurt fellow who needed his crusade to keep functioning. I sort of second that - a fulfilled Bat would have systematically empowered Gotham police and call upon his resources – League resources – to ensure specifically that threats were deconstructed on a more or less permanent basis.

But also throughout – and I may severely aggro the larger crowd now – there is, I think, a vast misunderstanding of two things. First is the fact that writers who keep dishing out the ‘No Bat without pain’ mantra severely misunderstand the character of Batman. In fact, in the King’s run, even his closest friends and family misunderstand Batman.

The second – is the fact that the writers aren’t in it to tell good stories. The game of writing has long since been forcibly changed.

At first, stories were made to convey meaning, from deep moral truths to memes to hitting your neighbor on the head with a sword and laminating his women being a good idea.

Then the stories were made to entertain at least, and at most - to force people to actually think before they act – and this is how the stories since circa 200 B.C. were written. Whether it is the classic Chinese epics or the cornerstones of French literature, or the Greeks or the Romans – this is how you normally find your story.

And then come the more recent times, and the invention of the printing press, and the proliferation of both basic literacy and paper. Suddenly there is more and more opportunity for more and more people to write – to tell stories for a living. They write, they draw, they paint, they make moving pictures. And a few of them find themselves in large collectives that are so stable that they can finally create a lasting mythos.

What would you do, if you suddenly found out you could create something that would – quite probably – outlive you and your children? What if it turned out to be so influential, even while being regarded as insignificant, that people would want more and more of it, would pay dearly for it? And what would you do, if suddenly control of such legacy, built well before you were born, fell into your lap?

Regardless of the answer, in our case the ever-winning pragmatism and child-like directness of people in power would dictate they would make money off those who believe in the legacy and want it continued.

That practical, inevitable decision suddenly makes everything else fall into place. One sees the audience not as your followers to be respected, nor a herd to be guided, nor even a crowd to be pleased, but as an opponent to be taken advantage of. And against an opponent you must arm yourself.

And with this opponent that is a renewing, rotating group of people, you have two specific goals in mind. One, to make your opponent pay for your product more than once, and preferably – for all your products. Two, to make sure your opponent is never destroyed, never pays too much, never stops – in short, never, ever hurt your opponent so much he won’t come back for more.

The shortest route to achieving Objective One is – forgive me for belaboring the obvious – to force your opponent to buy your product. Now we all know that under current labor market conditions men with tommy guns are a bit expensive to hire, too troublesome and can be creatively undirected – in the sense that they are as likely to sell your product to yourself as well as the target audience and then pocket the money. So if actual violence is impossible, our weapon of next resort is trickery and lies.

Now, it can – and, I’m sure, has been – successfully argued that people would enjoy being lied to, provided the lies were good and entertaining enough and told with a straight face and never weighed any on their pocket. The whole history of storytellers seems indeed to prove the point. Hence, the people of creative foundry in general seem to have adopted the tactics of lies.

So okay, people are lying to you. Some of them are even telling lies so that you, while listening or reading those, can arrive to a certain truth, perhaps even something deep. Or even profound. Where is the harm in that? Even if, in time, they start lying for the sake of you paying, and nothing else.

But there is a downside to a lie, and that is, once it has served its purpose it can only be discarded. No one will ever believe a lie told twice – or three times. No matter how you dress it up, people who have encountered it twice or more will recognize it, and react accordingly.

And so we come to a dilemma – we either tell different lies and change the legacy until we run out of believable lies, or maybe we stop telling lies, which would put us out of work and out of money.

This is where the nature of the target audience throws storytellers a rope. Storytellers, have easy times dealing with the young and the naïve, people who have not yet been duped many times, who keep having hopes and dreams of getting something out of every deal, every truth, every lie – everything. And their supply is replenishing, what with new people being born daily and all.

But telling old lies to new people only gets you so far – they can be easily inoculated by the older crowd who we have already lied to, successfully or not. Furthermore, the Internet and its propagation makes it harder and harder to peddle the same thing. You suddenly find that your consumer has collectively evolved and simple trick work no longer – they have already been seen and done and examined and analyzed to death.

You therefore must expand your repertoire of tricks and lies, and this is where the con comes into it. The long con.

Modern writing involves playing with your audience – in fact, running a long con on your audience. There is, in writing and drawing and filmmaking – in storytelling in general – an implicit promise. The promise is that a story will take you places, and that the world you heard about would change, and probably you yourself might change with that. It is that promise and hope of its fulfillment that makes one read a new story (barring professional readers, but those aren’t really a large crowd), invest time and emotion into it and its characters, willingly suspend disbelief as it comes. And it is that promise that is, in modern days, routinely and completely broken.

Which is where the long con comes into play.

A modern writer’s job is to make a script that fulfils the following objectives by any and all means:

1. Make people want to read what’s in their hands

2. Make people want to read the next one

The first objective is normally achieved with good graphics and composition and a story that is not entirely moronic, but mostly it is helped by the fact that once you buy a book – or a comic book, or whatever – it’s normally a waste not to finish it through (That has happened to me once or twice, though).

But the second one – that one’s a doozy. The term ‘plot hook’ now defines something that has evolved past simple hooking and into something that more resembles ‘plot anchoring drill’. Or whatever it is they anchor floating oil rigs with.

The original plot hooking mechanism worked on two simple mechanics – one, creating a gestalt that, by design, cannot be completed, until and unless the next piece of the story is experienced, two, promising that it will be completed in the next piece of the story in a satisfactory manner.

The actual execution of the scheme have long been any and all variants of a cliffhanger to a varied degree, but unresolved plot points also work towards the same goal, provided the main story is not concluded (i.e. the narrator isn’t planning to stop talking).

So where is the con?

If you analyze so many stories in the comic books of the Big Two – which is what actually prompted this post – you realize there have been supposedly radical changes throughout the comicbook universe, except they have amounted to nothing much. It is like a soap opera (Santa Barbara, perhaps), where everything keeps happening and nothing ever gets really resolved, because nothing ever really changes. Least of all, the direction.

In that regard, the canonic Batman suffers perhaps the most, both as a comic line and as the character. Every single positive influence that anything can possibly have has been for the recent years disintegrated either by some random villainous plot or by some immature and questionable choice of his own – except it really was the writer’s choice in every occasion.

But you know – you know – it will turn out okay in the end, right? Except it won’t. There is, for comicbook characters, an extremely specific baseline which determines what they are, and they aren’t allowed to be pretty much anything else. One thing that Batman is not allowed to be, for example, is efficient.

Another thing is apparently happy, but I have always – or at least since I started thinking about it – that it betrays either conscious manipulation on the writers’ part, or their complete lack of understanding of Batman as a character and as a man. We have been sold the ‘Happy man cannot be batman’ idea several times by now, but the rationale behind it is very, very questionable.

Let’s set aside for a moment the fact that Batman as a character is a paradox – anyone who has the sheer amount of will and determination to become as prepared for most conceivable situations could not have neglected his own emotional maturity, or lack thereof.

It is unrealistic that the man behind the cowl still has the same things and thoughts driving him fifteen years – and four Robins, and a tragedy, and a son, and several lovers, and countless instances of severe psychological ordeal and heartbreak after he had first started his crusade.

His personal trauma was the driving factor at the start of his career – and it was believable there and then. But after all these events – if the man is a living, sane creature not bent on self-loathing or self-torture (and such a person would have broken right about two world crises earlier) – he would want to be changed.

Which was in part why the idea of the Batman finally marrying Cat of all people (and which guy, exactly, hasn’t had a girlfriend not unlike the Cat in his life?) was sold very well. Depicting the romantic intimacy masterfully helped quite a bit. But the final ingredient, as it were, the core of all cons, was the hope. The hope that this time, this fellow who has survived chaos, murder, trauma to his loved ones, countless assaults on his sanity, couple of deaths in the family, psychological torture and continuous work well past the point of human endurance (mental and physical) deserves some happiness, especially where he had only to make a step to do it. The readers’ hope that finally everything would turn out right in the damn imaginary world that has seen too many wrongs. And it took a very long time and many plot arcs – not all of them particularly good – to settle the plot points and prepare the world for a transition…except the said transition never happened.

The number of gestalts formed throughout the arc numbers in dozens, all of them hitting a very specific group of emotions within the readers. Each and every marriage prelude pointed towards some serious character growth and a fulfilling resolution, despite the fact that Bruce Wayne is no Oliver Queen (but we know from the Arrow series that Ollie wants to face just as many sadistic choices as Bruce). And then it all gets spectacularly destroyed, all the gestalts incomplete.

With each incomplete gestalt the reader has formed comes a need – of varying power and degree – to see that gestalt completed, to see the resolution, and more specifically – the one resolution that has been pointed at and that the reader is hoping for. Some writers go so far as to push the hopes of readers into a specific direction, only to tear the gestalts in two later on.

And they do it consciously. The unfulfilled needs create a certain drive in the reader – or viewer. And the very first place where a frustrated reader will look in hopes of fulfillment and proper gestalt completion is the same place where the gestalt was created. Translated into consumer behavior, it means that #50 has virtually guaranteed a psychological need in its target audience to buy issues #51-#100. You can even see Tom teasing the audience with flashback pictures of Bat/Cat romantic scenes taken out of context, fueling the fire and bolstering future sales of hopeful, young, naïve and emotional consumers.

But the real bitch of it is, the con works if you emotionally invest in the story. In fact, it will work even if you take specific steps to prevent your own emotional investment. An unfinished story means an incomplete gestalt, and it is a micro-trauma for one’s psyche far more often than not (I believe there are times when implied completion of the story – and gestalt – is far more scary and traumatic than incompletion, but you’d have to talk to a practicing psychologist to be certain of that).

And so to the point. After #50 it has become clear that all Batman readers have been conned by Tom King et al into believing there was a chance of change. Especially those who missed his earlier statements about breaking the Bat – because, you know, the Kult didn’t do that (despite the series specifically stating it to be so), and Bane didn’t do that, and the Joker didn’t do that already.

And even as that is apparent, people – me, admittedly and regrettably, included – continue to hope for a better resolution, for Bat/Cat pair to drift back together and at least be no worse off than where they started… forgetting for the moment that the only real thing that could repair feelings on both sides is an actual consummation of marriage, impossible as it sounds. And since it is the only way to really repair the Bat/Cat pair, it probably won’t happen.

Nevertheless, people won’t stop forcing themselves to hope, because to lose the hope in good resolution would, for the hapless reader (also ‘punter’ or ‘sucker’ in this instance), be to lose hope of satisfying his own emotional needs – even if they originated – or became actualized – in an utterly fictional story.

There are worse conmen on the market of creative writing than Tom et al – one could probably write a short book on those – but this is probably the first time since the con has been ran on people with this much deliberation, for this long, using this particular base spectrum of emotions, and with such a long-term sales plan in mind.

So I postulate here and now, that the creative writing industry has finally become its own dark apex – it has necessitated manipulation and traumatization of readers through proxy of characters and it will, if left unchecked, have very serious and detrimental influence on both the readers and on writers. It will, if left unchecked, become a one-sided war of educated psychologists versus uneducated mass consumers. And, if left unchecked, it will by necessity upgrade the writers from creators of monsters into monsters themselves.

Not all writers are creators of monsters. But it has been something of a trend that so many of them are, and are lauded for it.

All we can do, perhaps, is educate ourselves and our young to fight, to perceive stories as means of manipulation and traps, to search for truths in a more profound way than what the mass industry offers.

Or maybe we can do nothing - but hope.

#Bat/Cat Batman Comics Psychology Con Rant

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stories-aha-blog · 7 years ago

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Villains

QUESTION:

“Villains ---- example for stories follow their own laws, or for unimaginative story telling?”

---->

Actually the answer to this might be a little less straight forward than I thought it would be.

But let me start at the beginning.

My original, spontaneous answer went something like this:

Having a villain may not be a sign of outright bad storytelling, but it's definitely a sign of a somewhat naïve or simple minded approach to storytelling.

I haven’t actually checked this, but I would strongly guess that none or at least very very few of my my topfave stories have villains in them.

Introducing a villain, like, say, the Chandrians in “The Name of the Wind”, is an easy way to create conflict, and hardship for the hero, and may make the reader want to read on to see the bad guy get his comeuppance. But is also a cheap way to do this, and there are much more sophisticated ways to go about this. “The Sea-Wolf”, “Unforgiven”, “The Wire”, “The Soparanos”, all have lots of conflict, but neither of them features a true villain.

Yes, The Sopranos has Ralph Cifarello, but I wouldn’t call him a villain, but more something like, vicious, cruel, inhumane little ankle biter. The existence of mean, vicious, callous, cruel, primitive people is simply a fact of life, so featuring some of them in one of your stories doesn’t mean you have villain.

But this kind of raises the question: if being a vicious little fuck doesn't make a character a villain --- what does?

What does it take for some “hate sink” character to qualify as a villain?

Funnily enough, I find this less straight forward to answer than I thought it would be.

So instead of giving you a definition, let me try to approach this via examples.

“Moriarty” is a villain. “The Joker” is a villain. The Chandrians in “The King Killer’s Chronicle” are villains. The Emperor in “Star Wars” is a villain.

The puppeteer in “Pinocchio”, as I have argued before, in spite of being an unpleasant person, and in spite of kind of enslaving Pinocchio to some extent, is not a villain. Wolf Larsen is not a villain. The Shape-Shifter / Founders in “Deep Space 9″ are not villains. And even the witch in “Spirited Away” is not a villain.

So what is it exactly that makes a villain a villain?

How about being a kind of vicious character, PLUS being something like the plot driving opponent or antagonist of the main character?

When I first set about writing this posting, this would have been something like my first shot at a definition.

What is it that prevents “Game of Thrones” from being one of the really good stories? Well, among other things, exactly this:

The fact that it has at least two villains, Ramsey and Joffrey.

But how can I be so sure they are not just Ralph Cifarellis? They are definitely given back stories, and given their back stories, plus some innate character trais, like, say, a certain “non cooperative sadism”, it isn't that hard to understand their motivation. Unlike Cersei, who is a POV character, they may not be designed for empathizing with them, but they are still clearly different from one dimensional characters like the Emperor in Star Wars. So how can I be so sure they are truly villains? Could it be that the answer to this is far more subjective than I thought it would be?

Hm.

Allow me to leave this unanswered for now, and return to the original question: Are all stories that feature a villain necessarily “stories of lesser value”?

The best way to answer this, it seems to me, is to try to think of the best stories that have villains that I can think of.

And the best two stories featuring villains that I can think of off the top of my head, are “Once Upon a Time in the West” and “Night of the Hunter”.

Which, I would guess, are about as good as you can get.

How good are they? They are enjoyable, but they are “stories of their own kind”, that cannot easily be compared to stories like “The Wire” or “The Sopranos” or “Lolita” or even “Unforgiven”, if you want to compare a Western with a Western. I don't think of the showdown between Henry Fonda and Charles Bronson as cheap or childish ---- because this is kind of what the whole story builds up to. It's what this film wanted to achieve, and it does it well. Like fairy tales, or other types of “minor stories”, they are not meant to evoke the same emotions, or raise the same kind of questions, as some more psychologically intricate story might do. And yet they are classics, which will still be watched for many decades to come.

There third example that came to my mind was “The Witches of Eastwick”, but funnily enough, although some people might argue “what could be a clearer case of a villain than the devil”, I'm not so sure he really qualifies for me. The devil is the devil. Somehow, I don't seem to particularly mind the devil appearing in stories, and I seem to treat him differently than human or mortal villains. I don't particularly like the Moriarty stories, but I do kind of like Rosemary's Baby or The Witches of Eastwick or even Robert De Niro’s portrayal of the devil in “Angel Heart”.

I am definitely not a fan of “The Others” or “White Walkers” in Game of Thrones, but the reason I dislike the entire story arc is not that they are villains --- because to me, they aren't. They feel like a force of nature. (Which is part of what makes them boring to me.)

So, to some it up:

I think there is little disagreement about villains being a heavily used trope in storytelling. At least in the Western Tradition, or maybe the “post christianisation” Western Tradition. (It has been argued, by Nietzsche and others, european culture before the arrival of Christianity, with their faulty “human” gods and all that, had a far less “good versus evil” like outlook on life.)

But yes, there are lots and lots of stories featuring villains.

They can get as good as “Once Upon a Time in the West”, or “The Night of the Hunter”.

But it makes them stories of their own kind, and of a somewhat limited claim or standard.

Turn them into a series, like in the case of star wars, and they quickly seem like a parody of themselves. (More of the Emperor arbitrarily killing off his subordinates dressed in Nazi like uniforms by choking them to death with his psychic powers.)

I think that non of my topfaves feature villains. (I'm gonna check after I have written this.)

Villains offer an easy way to create conflict, but are also kind of a cheap trick.

Having a very well fleshed out, or highly enjoyable to watch, villain, can be an important part of what makes a story enjoyable. (Think of Akunin, or again the empty face and glance of Henry Fonda as he kills off the Irish family.)

But unless I should want to create something super easy to consume, I find it hard to imagine that I would ever want to introduce a villain in one of my stories.

With one possible exception:

Make him enter the scene as a villain, and then kind of introduce a character surprise. (A bit like the puppeteer in Pinocchio, the series.)

I think that's about all I can say about villains at this moment.

If you should either have an idea what makes Ramsey a villain, when Ralp Cifaretti isn't one, or even have a good argument why he isn't a villain at all, do let me know.

#writing #storytelling #villain characters

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republicstandard · 7 years ago

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The Ballad of Count Dankula & The Nazis

Ash Sharp Editor

God save the Queen, the fascist regime.

As it happened, it appears The Sex Pistols were 40 years early, and about 400 miles too far south with their assessment of the undemocratic nature of Britain. The fascism in the United Kingdom lives not in Buckingham Palace, nor even in the hearts of the bin-bag wearing Mosque door-steppers, Britain First.

It lives in the mind of a petite scotch lady with a penchant for power suits. A microcosmic tartan-clad Clinton. Fascism lives in Scotland, under the regime of a political party that is both Socialist and Nationalist at once. What could go wrong with such a combination?

The cry of humans yearning for freedom is intrinsically tied to the Scottish experience. This is partly thanks to the descendants of Scottish emigrants around the world, and also to the popularity of a certain movie featuring a particularly red-pilled Australian playing William Wallace. Even the anthem Flower of Scotland dubs the Scots as brave fighters for liberty, ready to see off the encroachment of cheeky wee English devils from the south.

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All the more interesting then, that one of the most curious explorations into the modern understanding of freedom of speech has taken place in this country. The curious case of Mark Meehan, a pug named Buddha, and Adolf Hitler, transcends merely the price for transgressing polite public conduct. Meehan and Buddha have found themselves built into a bête noir; ironic, as Buddha is tan in color.

I'll describe the gist of the tale in short, in case you are not familiar. Mark Meehan makes YouTube videos as a hobby, under the name Count Dankula. Yes, he doth smoke the Devil's Lettuce. His girlfriend owns a small pug, named Buddha. Mark likes the dog very much. Mark's girlfriend likes the dog very much. She thinks he is very cute. Meehan -being quite the joker- decided to change this reality slightly, for comedy effect. For a giggle, Meehan has trained Buddha to behave like a Nazi. A Nazi pug. An Uberpug. Buddha now responds to phrases like 'Jews' and 'Do you want to gas the Jews' by turning his head, thinking a treat might be coming. He is a dog, let it be said again for clarity. He is utterly unaware of what a Nazi actually is, just as he is incapable of reading Mein Kampf- or Das Kapital, for that matter.

Buddha will also imitate the Roman Salute with better accuracy than most Neo-Nazi Live Action Role Players when given the command, 'Sieg Heil'.

youtube

Incredibly, you cannot even share the original video from Meehan's channel. YouTube have removed the ability to do so, even going so far as to remove the ability to embed the video in articles like this one.

When Meehan made the video, his channel audience was small. As happens with funny videos, Buddha being a Nazi went viral, and Meehan found his YouTube channel growing apace. The video also came to the attention of the Scottish Police.

Arrested for violating hate-speech laws, Meehan has been subjected to multiple court dates, the most recent of which have carried with them the possibility of Meehan not returning home and being sent straight to jail.

He lives in a country where the state will take an interest in a video of a dog performing tricks. We can admit the humor is risque, but what is at stake here is curious in the extreme. Who, exactly, is the butt of the joke in Mr. Meehan's video?

It is not Jewish people. It cannot be Jewish people unless we are now to say that to mention the word 'Jews' is offensive. Is the word Jew offensive? Is it only offensive when spoken by non-Jews? Perhaps it is the phrase 'Do you want to gas the Jews' which is the problem. If this is the case, then it can only be the case that regardless of context, the words 'gas the Jews' is always offensive. In many cases, this will be an offensive phrase, particularly if it is said with venom, in public, to incite people to carry out violence or promote anti-Semitism. It cannot be so, that to say 'gas the Jews' is always offensive. If that is the case, then I may be arrested (were I in Scotland) for writing these words down, as should the writers of all the other articles about this case. Context has to matter, or nothing makes sense at all, and we live in a society without meaning.

Is training a pug to respond to 'Do you want to gas the Jews' anti-Semitic?

The butt of Mr. Meehan’s joke is not Buddha the dog, nor is it his girlfriend (who no doubt has the patience of several saints). The butt of Meehan's joke is the Nazis. It is called irony, the Scottish court should look it up. Incidentally, so should the Mirror, the Telegraph And the Mail Online.

This is definitely what we should focus on. Not context. Context is for Nazis.

It requires an uncharitable reading of this comedy sketch in extremis to extrapolate anti-Semitism. The title of the video should be enough to indicate the comedian's intent; Mate, your dog is a Nazi. (Translation from Scotch- mine.)

There exists such a concept as dog-whistling, which is to say that there is a hidden subtext to a piece of art, or an article or even a tweet, which secretly conveys another meaning to other extremists. This allows you to accuse someone of just pretending to not be a Nazi while mocking Nazis, because really you are a Nazi after all.Irony; a sketch featuring an actual dog is accused of being a Nazi dog-whistle. Hitler loved dogs too, you know.

Does your dog want to build the thousand-year Reich?

I will go further, and argue that Meehan unintentionally presaged the leftist lunacy of 2017 with their punch a Nazi rhetoric, and is mocking the hysteriical Antifa activists and other proponents of violence too. Although the video in question is now over two years old, watch it again and remember that people have been assaulted for the suspicion of being a Nazi.

The concept of the joke is that Buddha the pug is a Nazi. Pugs are very silly dogs indeed. They look silly. They act silly. Therefore Nazis are silly. The people who want to punch Nazis are also silly. Silliness begets silliness and now, stupidity, as Meehan is facing jail for making edgy jokes. As a writer who enjoys a joke as much as the next guy, I am most annoyed at having to explain a joke. Imagine how Mr. Meehan has felt, for the last two years. Imagine having to go to the same party over and over again, where the same boorish prigs demand you explain a joke you made two years ago.

The curiosity is not that the state is too humorless to spot that Meehan is mocking Nazis by training a pug to imitate their salute. The curiosity is that the state is making an example of Mr. Meehan. Not out of revulsion against anti-Semitism or opposition to the Nazis; oh no. Mr. Meehan will be the example to show what can happen to you if you step out of line.

The whiff of religious bigotry is easy to find in some parts of Scotland. Sectarianism between Catholics and Protestants runs deep. This long-running blood feud has not been targeted with the same level of resources as has Meehan and his evil Nazi dog. Occasionally the police will denounce anti-papist songs of the fans of Glasgow Rangers. We must ask, what is the motivation here? Scotland has no history of Anti-Semitism, beyond the support for Palestinian rights among the supporters of Glasgow Celtic Football Club.

I contend that this court case contains a hidden message. A dog-whistle to all citizens, if you will.

The longer this case drags on and the more notorious and misreported it becomes in the press, the greater the impact of Meehan's sentence will be; should he be found guilty and jailed. Such a case will send a message to all Scotland- don't speak about any other religious or ethnic group; no matter what. There will be a new crime on the books. You will be charged with being white while in charge of an edgy sense of humor. Meehan is far from the first Scot to be a comedian on the cusp of taste and decency. Frankie Boyle to name but one has made a career from offending sensibilities at will, with jokes about cot death, incest, rape – the list goes on. What separates Boyle from Meehan is that Boyle is overtly politically left-wing, with a column in The Guardian newspaper to espouse his views, whilst Meehan has resolutely ignored inquest into his political leanings and was, up until now, a private citizen.

As we see today, this is a damning indictment of Scottish society that to be protected from the state, you must be a tribalist of some variety. If Meehan had performed his sketch while having previously declared his allegiance to a group- almost any group- then he would have had the support of that interest group to fight his case to the press, to the public. As it stands, Meehan is, like most people, merely a citizen. A citizen who wanted to make his friends laugh. There is nothing more tragic to my mind, that a supposedly free society is punishing individuals when they have done no harm- although as we see, the Scottish state is claiming that words are literally harmful in this case.

But who benefits? Politically, The Scottish National Party (SNP) is a separatist party with pro-European Union leanings and a pro-immigration stance; as most leftist parties are in Europe. Benefitting as the Democrats in the United States do from a strong base among migrants and descendants of migrants, Meehan and his dog represent a great opportunity for the SNP to forge a weapon with which to purge the land of those who would dissent against their policies. There can be no other explanation for the obsessive pursuit of Mr. Meehan by own government. The motive is not to protect any group from evil men who wish to incite bigotry. It is about control. It is a public flogging on the altar of modern multicultural society.

Two Jews, The Ayatollah Khomeini, and Caitlyn Jenner's lawyer walk into a brothel.

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If you are unable to make jokes, you are unable to speak your mind. If the state is able to interpret this comedy video as a hate-crime, then you may not speak against, for example, disproportionate crime rates among migrant populations. That too will be a hate crime. You may not speak about the predilection of Pakistani males to rape white children. This is a hate-crime. This case is not concerned with a man saying the word 'Jew'.

This case is the state of Scotland against the idea of being offensive itself. Being offended is no longer possible, as all offensive behavior is against the law. You are not offended. You are the victim of a crime- even if you are not the target of a joke, you can be offended on behalf of your conception of the alleged target of the joke. Though I am averse to bringing up the topic of race, we would no doubt see a different response from the state if Meehan was an ethnic minority. A sad thing to say. Worse, that it is undoubtedly true.

If the Scottish legal system fails Mr. Meehan and jails him for the crime of mocking Nazis on the internet, the Flower of Scotland no longer will represent the land of the free. It will become a symbol co-opted and perverted by a fascistic state, just as the Third Reich co-opted and perverted the swastika. No one will be able to crack a joke in Scotland for fear of being misunderstood, misrepresented or taken out of context.

In an effort to purge herself of bigotry, Scotland will become what she claims to hate the most.

I think that's what they call ironic. Good luck, Count Dankula. Good luck, Buddha. Thanks for the laughs, and long may they continue.

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