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#although i do fear i might never go back to wearing it
grimmshood · 9 months
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whole thing about neesing to let go of the version of me that wants approval of my parents really got me cause ive had my psych also tell me something similar. but like i live with my parents and depend on them for most of my necessities, and having the constant feeling that my parents need to approve of something i'm doing even though im 22 is definitely putting a hanker in that
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lovifie · 5 months
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141 Task Force Men and what piece of clothing they would steal.
(No smutty, just these fine gentlemen being little rats that steal your clothes)
Price💸
First of all, he would steal everything.
Especially if you lived together.
"What do you mean I can't grab your jacket to go buy some bread? Bla, bla, bla. I'll be back before you miss it."
"Oh, these are your socks? I was wondering when I had bought such bright colour ones."
"Why are you wearing my raincoat, John?" "Excuse me? Is mine!" "No, it's not!!"
In his mind, if he is planning to share his life with you, it simply makes sense for him to share everything else.
But there is something he is stealing over everything else, and those are booty shorts.
My man is overheating in this global warmed world, and he is looking on his closest for some shorts when he stumbles upon your booty shorts.
They are ridiculously short, basically legalized underwear he can wear outside; but this is the coolest he has felt since summer started, so he isn't stopping.
After all, who is going to tell the military captain what to wear?
Plus, when you wake up in the morning you are greeted by him in the kitchen making coffee and booty shorts with "juicy" written on them.
Extra: The two of you have an extensive collection of hats, that he technically doesn't steal from because it's shared.
Extra x2: He owns the "Woman want me, Fish fear me."
Ghost 💀
Your sweaters
It all started the first night he went to your house.
He was wearing a leather jacket, and although he looked illegally hot; it was obvious it was not the comfiest jacket to be chilling ii.
So you offered him your fave sweater, a massive one that could almost work as a blanket.
At first, he rejects your offer, afraid that it will be itchy and he will offend you; but his complaints get shut when you ask him to please feel it.
Instantly tries it own, the massive sweater looking loose on his as well. The image of the behemoth of a man, all black, balaclava (no mask) still on... And the fluffiest sweater on melting your heart.
The next time he visited your house he didn't even wait for you to open the door before taking his jacket off: "....can I put on your sweater?"
They are kind of his guilty pleasure, he would never admit how much he likes them and even less to other person but you.
But you only need to see how he buries himself on the sweater when he sits down on the sofa.
If he was amazing to cuddle with before, now it's even better.
Extra: I also like to think of him having a random ear piercing, and whenever he wears just the surgical mask or no mask in general; he would steal one of your dangling earrings to wear. Playing with it throughout the whole night out.
Soap 🧼
Baby tees
Every single one of them.
He keeps saying they make their muscles look amazing (they do)
He likes the ones with drawings or photos, but his favourites are the ones with texts.
Cue to him wearing tight ass shirts saying such as: "Small tits, big heart", "I got my clit pierced at Claire's" or "Don't bully me, I'll cum :("
You don't even remember why you bought them, mostly they are gifts from Secret Santa but you are so, so glad they found their way to your closet.
He wears them proudly, not even realising the stares.
When you go online shopping he's always cuddling on your side, leaving one of your arms useless with the way he cuddles it.
If he sees a tee he likes he just makes you stop scrolling and add it to the basket like: "It'll look good in you too."
There is also a small collection of them, the ones you genuinely like that don't let him wear. Not after he put one on, started flexing his arms and back and ripped it.
Just staring at you with guilt on his eyes and his tits out.
Gaz ⛽
Your shirts.
The ugliest, most colourful, eye-sore, extravagant shirt that you might own? He's taking them.
You are cleaning your closet one day and you pull out an offense to your eyes, mumbling about what where you thinking when you bought it and Gaz sees it and is like: °o°
He's taking it.
Getting ready for a costume party, you decide to dress up as Master Roshi from Dragon Ball (fake beard and everything) but you are missing the ugly shirt.
You remember seeing it not too long ago in your closet but you can't find it. So you ask your boyfriend.
And you find him wearing it, spraying cologne on telling you that he is also going out with his mates and asking how do you look.
Little shit does pull it off, so you don't lie when you tell him he looks fantastic.
You still have plenty of ugly shirts for your costume.
Extra: He would steal all your jewerly, rings, bracelets, necklaces, you name it. Just little bits all over his outfit; "It signs the deal, babe." They do.
Extra x2: He is always waiting for somebody to compliment any of your things he is wearing to have an excuse to talk about you, Soap is tired of hearing him mumble about you whenever he drinks.
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kingkatsuki · 4 months
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— miscommunication
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Based on this silly little post I made here. With inspiration from @/oooohno💕 basically Sakura can’t fathom anyone could ever like him like that.
Pairing: Sakura Haruka x f!reader.
Warnings: none, a little angsty, Sakura is bad at feelings.
Word Count: 2.9k.
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You always feared getting your heart broken someday, you just hadn’t imagined it would happen like this. Sakura had always been kind to you, ever since you’d been introduced to him through Tsubakino. It was one of the many reasons why you found yourself falling for him. It had been impossible not to, and you’d spent the majority of the time working up the courage to finally ask him out. Convinced by the fact that Tsubaki had guaranteed he would say yes.
“He’d be a fool not to like you,” He said, glancing at you through his reflection in the small compact he carried with him. Giving you a reassuring wink as he applied a fresh layer of engine red lipstick, “You won’t know unless you try.”
But maybe you were the biggest fool of all because you definitely hadn’t expected Sakura Haruka to leave you standing alone in the middle of the park wearing a pretty sundress. An excruciating pain ruminated beneath your ribcage as you tried to fight back the ache of rejection.
The first step had been the most difficult— working up the courage to ask for his number. It seemed awkward to ask for it straight up, but you also didn’t want to just get it off Tsubaki in case it crossed any unspoken boundaries. So you decided it might be easier to give him yours, writing it down onto a napkin from Kotoha’s restaurant one morning while you waited for her to pour your coffee. Before slowly sliding it across the bar to Sakura, who was shovelling omelette rice into his mouth. His pink cheeks bulged with food as he skimmed the note, looking up at you with a frown.
“If you don’t want to, it’s okay.” You smiled softly as you thanked Kotoha for the coffee, walking out through the door into the warm morning sun.
If he didn’t want to what? Sakura thought to himself as he scanned your number on the white napkin. Why did you give him your cell phone number? Sakura pondered the reasons as he continued to shovel the warm egg omelette rice into his mouth. You could want to hang out as friends, but you’d never showed any indication of wanting to do so prior. Or perhaps you were looking for protection, although that didn’t make sense when you were so close to Tsubaki who was a force to be reckoned with alone.
You didn’t need protection— so what if you’d given him your number so you could fight? It made the most sense to Sakura. It had to be why you stared at him each morning when you came in for your coffee, almost as if you were sizing him up with expectation, and today was the day you’d decided to extend the invitation. He waited until he’d finished his plate before fishing his cell phone out of his pocket to send you a text message.
Even after Kiryu had added Sakura to a Furin group chat all those years ago, Sakura was never the best at texting. He tests the words against the screen as he debates how to properly respond. Backspacing until he finally settles on a simple, yet concise answer and he hits send.
Sakura[9.49AM]: I want to.
He wasn’t entirely sure what he was agreeing to, but it had to be some sort of fight. He’d never trained with you before, so it couldn’t be that. And if you were friends with Tsubaki-chan, perhaps you enjoyed fighting too.
You[9.53AM]: hi! I’m glad you texted, I wasn’t sure if you actually wanted to go or not but I’m glad you do!!! Honestly, it’s made my day :)
Sakura reread the text twice, just to make sure he understood what you meant. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to go— so you were looking for a fight.
Sakura[9.55AM]: When?
He texts back, glancing at the screen as he notices the three little dots appear at the bottom to signal you are typing back.
You[9.57AM]: Meet me in the park by the swings at 7pm :)
Sakura read the text three times with a frown— 7pm. So you really did want to fight him? That would surely be the only reason you wanted to meet so late.
It felt like a shame to fight you, especially when your face is so pretty. Sakura feels his cheeks flush at the thought as he pictures that same sweet smile you give him each day when he sees you enter the restaurant to order your usual coffee to go, while he tries to hide his face in his omelette rice.
But you’re best friends with Tsubaki-chan so you must be strong, and maybe that’s the reason why you’ve chosen to fight him. And he’s never one to back down, and you’ve set the stage now so he has no choice but to agree. Sending back a single word as his fingers glide across his phone screen.
Sakura[10.00AM]: Yes.
Sakura isn’t sure how he’s supposed to prepare for this, or if he even needs to. He’s never seen you fight before, although he’s certainly seen you mad. Your soft hands balled into tight fists as you warned off a guy for getting a little too close, so close in fact that even Sakura was decidedly about to jump in— until you managed to get him to back off and leave.
Okay, maybe you were strong—
He doesn’t know anything about your fighting technique, or the way you hold yourself. Wondering whether you have a similar style to Tsubaki, and that’s why you’re so close? But he’s friends with Suo and Nirei and they don’t fight like him, so maybe that doesn’t make sense, he frowns. He’s known you for a while, and this is the first time you’ve shown any indication you want to fight, so now he’s started to overthink everything. Contemplating how he’ll be able to get the upper hand— or what spoils will be offered to the victor?
He makes sure he’s early, arriving at the park ten minutes before your scheduled fight with his hands bundled into fists inside his jacket pockets. But he’s surprised to see you already there and waiting, his roaring heartbeat catches in his throat at the sight of you as he almost forgets to breathe—
You’re sitting there waiting wearing the prettiest dress Sakura thinks he’s ever seen. A flowy sundress that hugs your curves in all the right places, embarrassed when his eyes are instantly drawn to the cleavage that spills out of the top. Your bare skin has a dull throb pounding at the back of his head as though he’d just been sucker punched as he wonders whether he’s still standing or how you’re this strong.
The moment he first saw you, he remembers a word that Suo had taught him to describe things like this— and he reckons that’s exactly what you are. Ethereal.
His cheeks burn a fiery red as he risks a glance further down, the soft material of the dress stops just above your knee as he follows the path of your legs to see your feet encased in pretty wedge sandals that strap around your ankles. There was no way you’d come to fight like this— in fact, he couldn’t fight you like this, could he?
“Hey.” You notice him staring as you stand up to walk towards him, and Sakura is certain that he won’t be able to land a single hit when the scent of your perfume surrounds him.
“W-what are you wearing?!” He shouts, despite the fact you’ve come to stand in front of him and it takes you aback.
The same insecurities begin to shroud you as they did when you were preparing to meet him. Standing in front of your full-length mirror as you tried on various outfits until you came to settle on this one, almost deciding against it at the last minute before you checked the time and noticed if you didn’t leave you might be late.
“Oh— you don’t like it, do you?” You fiddled with the strings at the front of the dress that were tied into a pretty, thin bow. Sakura’s eyes couldn’t look away as they followed the movement, noticing your pretty painted nails before he found himself staring at the hint of skin that peeked out of the top of the dress, “I knew I should’ve worn the other dress, it’s not quite as light as this one. God, I feel stupid.”
One of the thin straps was dangerously close to falling down your shoulder, and now Sakura wasn’t even sure he’d be able to land a single punch. This had to be some kind of distraction technique.
“You can’t fight in that!” Sakura raises his arm in an accusatory point, trying to stop himself from shaking and showing any signs of fear as he tries desperately to tame the fierce blush that streaked across the apples of his cheeks.
“I can’t fight in this?” Sakura despised how adorable you looked when you cocked your head to the side with your words, his heart banging like a marching band as he thought about his initial statement— maybe he was foolish for thinking you couldn’t fight in this.
When he’d watched Tsubaki fight, he’d always notice men that would get distracted from his short skirts and heeled boots— was this what you were trying to do to him now? Was this your plan all along?
“It’s—” He tries to get the words out, but it’s difficult when you look so cute, “It’s not— it isn’t—”
“It isn’t what?” You take a small step closer and the sudden movement had his fight or flight instinct kicking in as Sakura turned to run. Escaping in a hasty sprint as he left you standing alone in the park, the sun slowly falling over the horizon.
You try to ignore the ache in your chest when Sakura turns to run, wondering why he’d even bother to show up at all when he was going to reject you anyway. But then you suppose that’s one of the reasons why you even like him in the first place— he’s way too thoughtful and considerate of others. That’s probably why he didn’t want to reject you over text, and he’d come to tell you face to face.
Trying to stop the tears from falling as pearlescent droplets collect in your thick lashes to blur your vision, blinking them back you pull out your phone to rest Tsubaki. The first text sitting at the top of your phone is still your message chain with Sakura as you reread the “Yes” he’d sent you hours earlier. You were so stupid.
It’s the first fight Sakura has ever run from in his twenty-two years, and he hates himself for it. Hates that you managed to win on pure tactics alone as he makes his way back to the restaurant to find his friends.
His chest is heaving when he finally makes it through the door, knocking the wood so hard it almost flies off its hinges as wild eyes search for his friends. Thankful they seem to be the only people inside as he makes a beeline for them, his two-toned hair now windswept and pushed back from his forehead as it sticks up in all directions.
“You’re back quick?” Kiryu notes, his thumb pauses on his screen to take note of Sakura’s dishevelled appearance.
“Did she stand you up?” Nirei asks, concerned.
“No.” Sakura deadpans, still standing by the table despite there being a free seat in front of him as he leans his weight on the balls of his feet.
“You stood her up?” Kiryu locks his phone and places it down on the table as he raises a questioning brow, “That’s really not how to treat a girl, Sakura. I thought you—”
“I went there!” Sakura shouts, louder than necessary inside the small cafe as his hands ball into fists on either side of him.
“What happened?” Suo asks calmly, trying to diffuse the situation, but there’s a curious lilt to his tone.
“S-she was there.” Sakura tries to work out how to explain what happened, as his nose scrunches pensively.
“Okay? So that’s good, right?” Nirei smiles.
“She was wearing a dress!” Sakura is loud, immediately regretting his volume as the heat rising inside his body starts to become uncomfortable. Slouching down to sit beside Suo as he mumbles, “You can’t fight in a dress—”
“Girls can fight in anything,” Kiryu smiles, as Sakura looks across the table at him. So you did want to fight? “But I don’t think that’s what she had in mind.”
Oh. So if you didn’t want to fight him, then what else did you want?
“Well, where is she now?” Suo questioned, and Sakura answered for him with a sheepish look paired with a deep pink blush all the way down to his shoulders, “You left her in the park?”
“Wait— on her own?” Nirei continued, “Why would you do that?”
And somehow it sounded worse when his best friend put it like that. Sakura hadn’t left you alone, or at least he hadn’t meant to. You were there alone before he’d even got there, almost like he’d just stopped in passing. You were fine—
“She was wearing a dress!” Sakura repeated with an angry rasp to his tone.
“Sakura, you messed up.” Kiryu starts laughing playfully, shaking his head, “You’re gonna have her and Tsubaki-chan mad at you now. I can’t believe you did that to her— the poor girl.“
“What?!” Sakura baulks, “But she’s the one that text me!”
Sakura never wanted to fight you, why would he? You were far too pretty— too delicate to be subjected to that. He didn’t want to think about you fighting anyone, the thought alone had that same strange feeling bubbling in his tummy as he pictured you coming out of the fight hurt. That same seated desire inside him burning red hot at the thought— Sakura is certain he’d fight to the death to protect every single inch of you, to stop any harm from coming to you.
“What do you think it means when a girl gives you her number?” Sakura sat back beside Suo as he pondered the question.
The only phone number he had stored in his phone outside Bofurin friends and Togame from Shishitoren was Kotoha, and that was because she’d grabbed his phone the same day he’d given it to Kiryu. But Sakura didn’t mind so much because she always brought him food. But he didn’t think that’s why you’d given your number to him, was it?
“Iunno.” He mumbled gruffly, his lips curling into a pout, “That she wants to fight.”
Tsubaki-chan had texted him to spar all the time, it wouldn’t be weird to think you’d do the same.
Kiryu shot Suo a look as he gave his friend a soft smile, before trying a different approach. It was clear after knowing him for so many years, that Sakura was inexperienced in things outside the reemits of fighting.
“Have you never found a girl pretty before, Sakura-kun?” Suo asks,
“Shaddup!” Sakura snaps swiftly, already feeling a dangerous heat rise inside him— but it’s at that same moment where he really ponders the question.
Kotoha is pretty, he supposes. Thinking back to the first time he met her when she offered him a warm plate of food with a kind smile, remembering the heat that plumed inside him that followed her kindness as Sakura found himself coming back to her.
Sakura is certain he thinks Tsubaki is pretty too, although none of them seem to compare to how he feels about you. The incessant pounding of his heart against his rib cage at the mere thought of you, your saccharine perfume makes him feel dizzy and yet he hates when you’re not around so he has to remember the way it smells. The sound of your laughter causes more than just a subtle warmth inside him like Kotoha, it's more like a blazing inferno that courses through his veins like molten lava that’s impossible to extinguish. And the way you manage to fluster him without even being there— he’s constantly thinking about your face before he falls into a dreamless sleep, and waking up to wonder what you’re doing right now.
Tsubaki would probably think he’s foolish for thinking you couldn’t fight in a pretty sundress with sandals when he fights in a skirt and heels all the time. Maybe it would give you some kind of advantage, a way to get the upper hand. The sandals wedge gave you a slight height advantage sure, but would that be enough to beat him?
“Are you listening, Sakura?”
“Yeah.” He pushes his chair out with a harsh screech against the hardwood floor as he moves to leave, frantic in his search for you as he hopes you’re still standing where he left you.
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hearts-4-vicky · 8 months
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All Aespa G!P with subreader, please 😭🙏
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AHHHHH OMG🙏🙏🙏THISSSS!!! ANON I LOVE YOU 🫶🏼
warnings: g!p aespa, soft dom aespa minus karina😭, subby minjeong for the first part🙏 switch minjeong, sub reader, reader has no pp😔, 5th member reader (makes it easier😭), 5some, handjob,blowjob, deepthroat, anal, double penetration, nipple sucking, creampies, marking, squirting, multiple orgasms, pet names, karina is kinda cringe but shes gorejus so😛
not proofread😵‍💫🙏
being the only member without a dick would be rough 😭 like all your members are hot and hung?? (living the dream fr) but you never brought up the topic of fucking each other💥 all of you had thought abt it but never acted on it BUT I FEEL LIKE MINJEONG WOULD START IT OFF (ik she wouldnt but shes bias wrecking me rn so 🙏) so imagine youre just chilling, wearing panties n a tank top cuz youre abt to go to sleep before minjeong slams open ur door with the biggest boner youve ever seem🙏😭 you just stare at it, not responding until minjeong started walking toward you, although a bit awkward due to the tightness of her pants🥺 you snapped out of your daze once minjeong reached the end of your bed. finally looking into her eyes you noticed how desperate they looked and how soft it made you feel🥺🥺 trying to pull off the cool unnie vibe you say, “you got a m-microphone in there or something jeongie? that shit is BIG…” nailed it !!😄 “unnie… help me please? pretty please?” minjeong had ripped her sweats off and began pulling down her boxers, showing her hard cock to you, precum already dripping from her tip🫠
Timeskip cuz i literally dont know how to write this omg im so sorry anonie🙏
“mmgh! ah! fuck unnie! jeongie’s so close! pleasepleasepleaseplea-“ minjeong whimpered out as you played with her balls, teasing her tip with soft touches🥺🥺🥺
“having fun without us?” you halt your movements, frozen with fear as you had just been caught by the rest of your members😛 “its not what it looks li- WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTH-“ “shhh unnie, let us join we won’t say a thing to anyone..” ning said before sprinting to have your hand on her cock😝 aeri had gotten under you, shoving her throbbing cock into your wet cunt😵‍💫😵‍💫(need her omg) moaning at how full you felt with her cock alone🙏🙏🙏“damn… pretty girl you’re so tight! f-fuck might want you all to myself…” you noticed jimin had gotten behind you, which led you wondering to what she was doing “hold on tight, alright baby?” jimin said before mounting your ass
“jimin did you just reference- AH!” karina had shut you up with a harsh thrust into your tight hole, earning screams from you, someone who has never experienced two cocks inside you before😵‍💫 never slowing down your hands as they jerked the nearly passed out minjeong and an eager ning off🫠aeris thrusts were slower to give you time to adjust to the feeling, kissing around your pretty tits to help calm you down🥺 “shit! your ass is so! so so tight baby, mmph! only heaven knows its one hell of a ride..” you roll your eyes at her reference, before they rolled to the back of your head as she started to go deeper “F-Fuck! ‘s way too big rina!” worried she might be hurting you she slows down, “Don’t stop mmgh, please! keep goING!!” aeri had started thrusting harder and deeper, with karina drilling into your ass faster with your consent🐺 aeri and jimin locked in with how fast they were thrusting into you, once aeri pulled out, jimin was deep inside your tight ass🙏 you were a babbling mess at this point, begging them to go harder and loudly moaning when minjeong came all over your face🫠 “ah! u-unnie! fuck… so pretty with my cum on your face!” she whined tiredly, laying down on your bed to regain her energy 💋 you use the hand you were once using to jerk her off to gather her cum and bring it to your waiting mouth💥💥 barely tasting it before ning shoves her dick down your throat, earning a surprised moan from you🫠 you clench around aeri, feeling her thick cock twitch in your cunt😵‍💫 aeri grunting your name and curses made you wetter with each passing second 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫
“oh f-fuck! babygirl…! take it! take it all!” aeri’s hot cum shooting deep in your womb brought you to your first orgasm of the night, your juices gushing out of you like a sprinkler as aeri began to slow down her thrusts, not wanting to overstimulate you “ning watch-mmgh… your dick, ynnie’s sucking you off, not me so get that shit out my face” moaning into your neck, muffling them by sucking on your sensitive skin
“sorry aeri unnie- fuck… maybe get your face out her neck and my dick wouldn’t bother you… shitshitshit-“ ning’s legs were shaking😵‍💫she pulled her cock out of your mouth til only her tip remained inside, and blew her warm load down your throat😵‍💫🙏 tongue swirling around her tip as you tried to swallow it all (so none gets on aeri’s head who had fallen asleep😭) but it proved to be a difficult task with how ning’s cum seemed to keep going🥺 curses, loud moans of your name, and the sound of skin against skin was all you could hear🫠 ning just kept on cumming to the point where it was kinda concerning… “Ning? holy fuck- calm down! ynnie looks like shes gonna pass out!” while keeping up her pace, karina had to call out to the chinese girl, who was to lost in her orgasm to notice you struggle to swallow all of her🥺 snapping out of her daze, she pulls out quickly to give you the chance to breathe🙏 you cough violently, ning wiping some of her cum from your puffy lips, apologizing sweetly (my babygirl🥺 shes 3 years older than me…)“shit! sorry yn unnie… got carried away… won’t happen again! swear! :(“ (MY BABYGIRLRLLL 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 sorry 🙏) “Ning, it- ah! i-its fine! oh shit…” you were barely able to speak without moaning as karina started getting closer to her limit, grunting as she grabbed your arms and used them as leverage. “really? okay! ill keep it in mind for next time!” ning was practically skipping to the bathroom to wash up☹️leaving you with two of your members asleep and getting your back blown by your leader😵‍💫the wet slapping, panting, whimpers, whines and the sound of the bed creaking with each of karinas hard thrusts into your ass was driving you insane🫠🫠 “gonna cum in your pretty ass baby! s-shit… gonna fill you up so fucking good…” hearing her words had you squirting violently again!! soaking the sleeping aeri🥺 karina buried her twitching cock in deep in your tight ass, before filling it to the brim with her cum, moaning your name for the neighbors to hear😵‍💫 with no energy left, karina collapsed on you, kissing your neck sweetly🥺you looked over to see minjeong awake, dick hard once again🫠
“…can i squeeze in there too?”
“mm? what- jeongie, no, your cock is fucking huge.”
“guess we just need to loosen you up…”
“huh- MINJEONG WAIT-“
sorry this took so long😔🙏 ive been a bit busy this week AND SORRY IF IT SEEMS RUSHED OR KINDA BAD I LITERALLY CANT WRITE RN….
but I just wanted to thank everyone for all the support my other works got bc holy shit where did u guys come from🙏😭 AND FOR OVER 100 FOLLOWERS LIKE WHATTTTT ❤️❤️❤️
thank you guys so much, love you lots and stay safe
-Vicky 💋
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lisired · 6 months
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where angels fear to tread
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pairing: jaehyun x (f) reader
genre/warnings: fwb to lovers, fluff, implied smut, angst
summary: Three years ago, you had a summer fling with Jung Jaehyun, and what was simply sex turned into more after you caught feelings for him. Then, you find out he has a girlfriend, and decide to call it quits. Three years later, he's back in town, trying to come back in your life, and most importantly trying to come back into your heart, but you're a little hesitant to let him.
word count: 14.5k
a/n: i think this was my first jaehyun fic? LOL… as always, feedback is appreciated!
“Not fair.”
“It’s very much fair, Jaemin.”
“How come the blueberry head gives you shit on the house? I asked him for a free coffee and he told me the only way I was getting coffee for free was if he splashed it on my face. Very unprofessional. I demand the manager.”
You want to tell him that the manager would just suck up to Taeyong in private because the customer is always wrong, but something in you tells you to be quiet.
“Saved his life,” you shrug, digging a fork into your pie.
“Saved his life?” Jaemin repeats, wide-eyed, “you just said that like it was the most normal thing ever.”
“I don’t think he would have actually died,” you mutter, but decide to tell the tale anyway, “You remember when I told you I was taking a two-week vacation out of town because Yeri invited me and some of her friends to her stepdad’s beach house?” Jaemin nods, “Well Taeyong was one of those friends. Saved him from drowning in the pool, and ever since he thinks he owes me his life, so he gives me a lifetime worth of stuff on the house.”
You consider Jaemin your best friend, although him not physically being with you for the past two years was the reason why he’s unaware of some minor details of your life during those years. Of course, he knew about the vacation—you had so much fun that you told him nearly every damn detail of it—but there was still some things you kept to yourself. Such as how you saved Taeyong from drowning. You thought that you’d look like a praise-seeker for bringing that up anyway.
You scan the room for Taeyong (the blueberry head) and once your eyes find him, you wave and wink. He waves back and smiles bashfully, before tending to one of his customers. You also think that Taeyong might have a little crush on you, but that’s not relevant at the moment.
“Oh wow. I guess not all heroes wear capes. Some heroes wear pie crumbs on their mouths.”
You wipe the corner of your mouth with a napkin then squeeze it into a ball to throw at Jaemin, making him gasp dramatically and start rambling about how you shouldn’t treat the best friend you haven’t seen in two years like this, but the chime of the cafe door distracts you. Your face falls in horror, and you’re still as a statue as it all races back. The pain, the memories, the emotions, everything you gave him that you can’t take back.
“I have to go,” you say, but Jaemin grabs your wrist.
His voice is filled to the brim with concern, “What’s wrong?”
Where you do even start? You sigh, ducking your head on the table in an attempt to cover your face the best that you can. The past is intertwining with the present and you do not enjoy it one bit. Fortunately, he sits away from you and doesn’t seem to acknowledge your presence in the room, but it’s just your luck that for the first time you’re seeing him in almost two years, he chooses to show up right here, right now.
“See that guy that just walked in?”
Jaemin nods with reluctance, subtly scanning said guy with his eyes, “Yeah, what about him?”
With a deep breath, you brace yourself for uncovering a part of your past that you’d rather keep ancient history, “Remember that fling I told you about from the vacation? That was him. And I never told you this, but we didn’t exactly end on the best of terms. I called it quits when I found out that he had a girlfriend.”
Another one of the vay-cay details that you kept to yourself. Technically, you did tell him about the fling, but it was nothing too specific aside from the fact that you were getting dicked down. You never told him about the way things abruptly ended, and you sure as hell never told him that you caught feelings for a cheater.
Jaemin’s face falls, and you’re not sure why. You think that he’s offended because you never told him about something so huge (and he is, but the two of you have bigger fish to fry at the moment so he decides it best to complain later).
Eyebrows furrowed, you ask, “What’s wrong?”
“Jaehyun is…” he pauses, and your lips part to ask how he knows his name until, “Jaehyun is my roommate.”
If you had the energy, you would sigh. Of course, Jaehyun also happens to move back in town and ultimately transfer back into your college for the second semester. You had to be a criminal in your past life, what else could you have possibly done to deserve something like this?
Taeyong walks over to your table, wearing a discontent frown, “Jaehyun’s here, do you want me to distract him so that you can leave without him noticing?”
“No way the blueberry head knew about this before me.” Ah, there it goes.
Taeyong glares, but he doesn’t say anything, instead locking his eyes on you to catch your response and his face softens when he does.
“Please,” you sigh in relief, “Thanks Tae, you’re a lifesaver.”
Taeyong smiles at the weight of your words, “It’s the least I could do. Now you two get out of here.”
It isn’t something that you need to be told twice, Taeyong goes to distract Jaehyun and you two bolt the fuck out of there. Though even out of sight, Jaehyun isn’t out of mind. In the beginning you knew it was nothing serious, Jaehyun had other girls that he fucked. But the fact that he was cheating on some poor, innocent girl was more then you could handle, and it would be selfish of you to risk getting caught up in that mess.
For a while, you and Jaemin ride in near silence. It’s your car, but he claims you aren’t in the right headspace to drive and you didn’t argue. You don’t feel the best at the moment.
“Is this a bad time to invite you to my roommate’s Summer Break Kick-off party this Friday,” Jaemin asks over the radio, his voice cutting through the SHINee song playing lowly.
“Kinda,” you snort. “Is he coming?”
“Probably, yeah. I mean, he was invited. But my roommate’s other house is pretty big it’s been forever since we last partied.”
You blink. Why does your roommate…
“Don’t question it. I don’t know either.”
You fight the urge to laugh. Instead, you weigh out the pros and cons. Technically, you and Jaemin could always find another place to party if you wanted to so bad, and even if the house was big, there’s still a fair chance of you running into the one man you dread ever seeing again. You aren’t too sure if that’s something that you’re ready to risk right now.
You sigh again, pressing your face against the car window. “I’ll think about it.”
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You haven’t stepped foot in a place this expensive-looking since Yeri invited you on that little summer vacation to her stepdad’s beach house (two years ago.)
Jaemin somehow managed to convince you to show up by pinky promising to do a week’s worth of your assignments next semester, and you’d be a fool for turning that offer down. It isn’t clear from the outside, but academically Jaemin is sharp. So now, you’re searching for Jaemin in a sea full of red plastic cups. He was right, the house is humongous, and now you’re really beginning to question why someone with this kind of fortune at their fingertips lives with three presumably broke college students.
At least they’re playing SHINee. That way you can sing along to your favorite boy band while you simultaneously search for your best friend.
It might be harder for him to spot you. You chose to wear something dull, deciding against standing out too much just in case Jaehyun wanted confrontation, so looking for you is like searching for a needle in a haystack. You two could have just spent the night karaoking with Jaemin in your living room just like the good ‘ole days, for heavens sake.
Na Jaemin, when I find you, you groan. He doesn’t answer your calls or texts, and just for this you should make him do your homework for two weeks. Three if you bump into Jaehyun. You stop at an empty spot to catch your breath.
“God, what are these guys’ parents? The CEO’s of Samsung?” you mutter, to yourself.
“Aw, so close.”
Not expecting an actual answer, you jump and turn in the direction of the voice. You find a tall, handsome man smiling at you. His teeth are so white that it looks like he eats Colgate for breakfast.
“Kai, I’m the host of the party,” he grins, yet then his expression falters, “do I know you from somewhere?”
“I was thinking the same thing!” You laugh, analyzing his face. He does look a bit familiar.
You tell him your name, and the way he repeats it once more then blinks a few times concerns you a little. It’s not that you have a bad reputation, but did he know you from something bad?
His eyes widen. “You’re Johnny’s ex-girlfriend.”
That, you are. Back in high school you and Johnny dated for some time, broke up after a while since you drifted apart from one another, but agreed to stay friends so you’re both cool. You’re relieved that’s all, but you still don’t remember where you know Kai from, and you’re almost one-hundred percent sure it isn’t high school. You don’t even think you went two to the same high school.
“That’s me,” you confirm with a nod, “I still don’t know where I remember you from, though.”
If this were a cartoon, Kai would have a thought bubble above his head, and moments later it would transform into a lightbulb, “Are you friend’s with Yeri?” he guesses, and you nod, “she’s my step-sister. She probably told you about me.”
Oh. Well now the dots are connecting. Yeri did in fact tell you about him, mentioning that his family is the one her mom married into when explaining how filthily rich she became—because her brand new step-dad is indeed a CEO.
You make an O with your mouth, “Small world.”
“I know, right?” Kai, or as you know him from Yeri (also why you didn’t recognize him immediately), Jongin, laughs, “Care to dance?”
At that, you frown, “I’d love to, but I should really find Jaemin. He’s my best friend and we’re supposed to be spending time together because he just moved back in town recently.”
Kai looks a little sad by the rejection but handles it well, nodding in understanding, “Good luck. Last time I saw him he was over there,” he points, “losing a drinking game.”
That could mean nothing good. That meant wherever he was, Jaemin was more than likely going to be shitfaced by the end of the night. You sigh internally, almost wishing he’d go back to being the shy and introverted boy you knew in high school.
You met Jaemin in your sophomore year, at a party his friends forced him to go to, and you had a couple of mutual friends, but until then you two were nothing more than strangers. Speaking of which, that’s how you bonded, even though it was a fight getting him to say more than five words at a time. You were sure your friends Sicheng and Yuta had a thing for each other, whereas he hadn’t suspected a thing. So you made a bet, and only a couple minutes later, they were found making out against a wall. He owed you 50 bucks.
When Jaemin is still no where to be find, you’re ready to cave in to defeat. You feel like you’re in a maze, walking around in circles and it shows in the ache in your feet. You’re about to give up and turn around, until you walk into something, or someone, and all audible to you is the sound of splashing before someone yells shit, I’m sorry!
Oh, you’ll make sure they’re sorry. You’re not sure what you should focus on. How your top is now soaked, or how familiar their voice is. Until you look back up and see a walking, breathing and unfortunately talking, nightmare.
He calls out your name.
Like before, you turn and walk away.
He says it again, louder, and follows you.
“I don’t want to talk to you, Jaehyun.”
Still, he tails behind you like a lost puppy, despite you obviously trying to stay far, far away, “Can’t you hear me out? It’s been two years.”
“Two very peaceful years,” you stop dead in your tracks and finally turn to face him. It hurts you to look at his face, because the memories wash over you like waves, yet you do it anyways. You want to show him that you’re strong without him, not weakness and vulnerability, “and I told you two years ago that I want nothing to do with you.”
Jaehyun’s no good for you, you know that. You know that all he’s ever wanted to do is get inside your pants, that he’s never cared for you. So why are you tempted to hear him out?
No, you refuse, you will not let nostalgia win you over. That’s all it is. You miss what you had, but you don’t know if you miss him as a person.
“At least let me help you dry your shirt, it’s my fault that it’s ruined,” he tries again, but you’re hell-bent on making him feel as miserable as he did you.
“No.”
“Y/n—”
“No means no, Jaehyun,” another voice cuts in, and while it isn’t the one you’ve been looking for, you’re thankful nonetheless. Beside you stands Kai, tall, angry, and intimidating, “you gonna make her tell you to fuck off?”
Jaehyun glances at you, and you see the emotion in his eyes, but you don’t fall for them. Not anymore. He’s already caused your heart to feel enough pain that you can’t bother to try and carry the burden that is his own. So he gives up and walks off, finally leaving you alone.
And you let out an exhausted breath.
“Show’s over, mind your business,” Kai tells the audience you hadn’t even known formed, and not willing to risk going against him, everyone returns to their previous activity. He looks at you, and all the anger is washed with concern. “You okay?”
Are you okay? You don’t know anymore. Nostalgia is kicking your ass, and though you try not to think about him, you can’t help but reminisce.
“Yeah,” you say, but you’re not too sure. “Thanks. A lot.”
Kai shrugs, “No biggie. Do you think you and Yeri match sizes? You can use the bathroom in my bedroom to change because no one’s dumb enough to go in there.”
You sigh in relief. Chivalry isn’t dead. “Yes. Thank you.”
Kai leads you upstairs to Yeri’s room, or at least the one she stays in when she’s here, and let’s you choose a shirt. It isn’t an easy decision with Yeri being the epitome of fashion, but you pick quickly to spare Kai’s time, even though he tells you that he doesn’t mind. He then takes you to the bathroom in his room because according to him, Yeri’s one is under repair.
Even though Kai is guarding the door with his life and you know he wouldn’t just barge in there without your say-so, you lock the door. You meet your gaze in the mirror, eyeing yourself closely. Everyone is insecure sometimes, but after things ended between you and Jaehyun, you were extremely self-conscious for months.
To anyone who had never been in your shoes, it might’ve made more sense than anything for you to feel better about yourself knowing that even though Jaehyun had a girl, he kept coming back to you. Yet who’s to say you were the only one? To this day, you’re still convinced that the only reason he keeps trying to win you back is because him losing you plus you being the one to end it put a major dent in his ego.
You hate that he had that kind of power over you, to the point where he made you hate yourself. You hate that a man like him made you cry so many goddamn tears and now he expects you to dry his own.
Reminding yourself that Kai is waiting, you tear your gaze from your own before tears have the chance to spill, and wipe yourself dry so that you can put on your - or Yeri’s - shirt. Now that you think about it, it’s too cute to return. You might take it. She’s too rich to notice, and even if she does, she’s still rich. She can easily replace it.
Kai greets you with a smile as you step back inside his room, and you find yourself smiling back at him. He’s been treating you so kindly this whole time, and now that you think about it, you’ve never heard a single bad thing about the man. Yeri clearly doesn’t mention him very often, but it’s never been anything bad when she does, and even when Jaemin was telling you about his roommates, he described Kai as “the funny one that called his mom a lot.”
“Ready to join the party?”
And then you frown. “I don’t know.”
Kai quirks a brow, “Well don’t tell me you look this good just to not show yourself off.”
Amused, you scoff. Kai’s been smooth from the beginning, yet now he’s unabashedly flirting with you. “Are you flirting with me, Kim Jongin?”
Confusion spells itself out on his face. You have never once said his name tonight, and the one time you do, it’s his government. “How do you know my name?”
“Yeri,” you shrug, “but if you want me to just call you Kai then I understand.”
“Well, usually I reserve my real name for my close friends and family,” he grins, and God he looks devilishly handsome when he does, “but it sounds so nice on your tongue that I’ll make an exception.”
It’s painfully obvious that you don’t know how to react, eyes a little round and your lips parting, yet nothing coming from in between. It makes Jongin laugh.
“And yes, I was flirting with you,” he winks, “but anyways, if you really don’t wanna go back out there, which is totally fine, we can just chill in here. You seem like a nice person, and I’d like to get to know you.”
“Get to know me?” You quip, finding enough balance to play into his game after being knocked down by his charm briefly, “or my body?”
He arches a brow in amusement. “That feels like a trick question.”
You shrug. “Be honest. I might feel the same way.”
Maybe it’s a good thing that tonight didn’t go as planned. Kai’s had you since the moment he introduced himself, and it seems every five minutes he gets better.
“Well, I don’t see why I can’t multitask,” He purrs, taking your words as an invitation. An invitation that he was accepting.
You giggle. He eyes you gently, noticing the way you slowly inch closer to him, “I like you.”
It’s an initiation, turning the keys and putting the car in drive, and you want to see if Jongin will take the wheel. And it seems that to your fortune, he does.
“Guess it’s a good thing I like you, too.” Jongin chuckles, and he’s so close. You can feel his breath on your skin, tickling your neck, and it makes something in you crawl with arousal.
And the gap between you closes.
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You already liked Kai last night, but you definitely like him this morning.
You woke up to the smell of pancakes and bacon, and not just any kind of pancakes, but chocolate chip pancakes, your favorite. If anything can make you like someone, it’s chocolate chip pancakes.
“How’d you know chocolate chip was my fave?” you giggle, not expecting a serious response, but after the whole scenario with him yesterday, you should have already known he would have one.
“Yerim’s told me about you, too, you know,” Jongin replies, “It wasn’t even too long ago, it was winter break. We were all staying at my dad’s house for a couple of days, and she invited you over one morning. Everyone was gone but me and her when I went downstairs, and I saw her making chocolate chip pancakes. It blew me, because she’s an avid hater of chocolate. Then she told me they were for her best friend, because you love them, and after last night I learned that the best friend in question happened to be you.”
You and Jongin learned a lot about one another last evening. After you had sex, you didn’t expect to hit it off like you did, yet you spent a great deal of the night talking on his silk sheets. For starters, he’s a wonderful man. Funny, polite, respectful, thoughtful, caring, and he has an amazing personality. The sole flaw you could find in him was that he likes Hawaiian pizza. What kind of sick person enjoys Hawaiian pizza?
And you fell asleep in his arms. It was perfect, almost too good to be true. You considered the possibility of a relationship with him, you enjoyed his company and he was shameless to admit that he enjoyed yours. And yet still, you couldn’t help but think of Jaehyun.
The way he had also made you feel the same way, all those years ago. How he never fucked you and then shoved you away, but he talked to you until the sun came up, or spooned you to sleep. It was ridiculous, and you can’t believe that one encounter with Jaehyun had you acting like a teenager in love for the first time again. Not to mention the encounter in question was horrible. Jaehyun isn’t good for you, but for some reason your heart seems to still want him.
“If you want know so bad, just ask.”
“What?” Kai blinks, unaware that you’ve noticed the way he looks at you, not just now but ever since that encounter with Jaehyun. The longing in his eyes to say something, yet he resisted.
“I know you’re curious about me and Jaehyun,” truth be told, it isn’t just for him, but for you. Maybe if you remind yourself of what Jaehyun’s done to you, hear it aloud, you’ll snap out of it and shake this weird feeling. “So go ahead. Ask.”
Jongin’s surprised at how well you read him, and you can only hope that he doesn’t read you just as well.
“I figured you didn’t want to talk about it, and I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries.” How utterly Kai of him. And honestly, he’s right. You don’t want to, but at this point it’s a need.
“It’s okay,” you assure.
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“If you don’t want to talk about it, then that’s okay, you know. I understa—”
“Kim Jongin,” you say, and he pauses, a part of being because he still hasn’t gotten used to you calling him by his government name, yet he loves it when you do, “I am not about to beg you to ask me. I promise you, it’s alright.”
Jongin hesitates, but gives in reluctantly, “Okay, so… what happened for Jaehyun to be so intent on talking to you last night? Break-up?”
“Not really,” you say, trying to keep your voice level and flat. You weren’t the girl Jaehyun was in a relationship with, “It wasn’t a romantic relationship. Just sex, no strings attached.”
Jongin nods, “Ah, so a fling?”
“Mm-hm. I met him when Yeri invited her best friends to your dad’s beach house for a fun summer vacation during break. We hit it off well and it wasn’t much longer that he had me in his sheets. It really was fun, so we agreed to keep fucking around. And then some months later, I found out he had a girlfriend the whole time.”
He makes an understanding face, familiar with Yeri’s Pal-Cations (as she likes to call them.)
“Yerim didn’t tell you he was dating someone?”
“No one knew about us. He wanted to keep things secret,” you chuckle softly, “and that’s when I found out why.”
Silence falls over Jongin, and you sit there and let him ponder. Being able to say it all like this makes it seem so simple, and perhaps it should be. Jaehyun fucked up, and you owe him nothing. If he broke up with his girlfriend, maybe things would have been different, but he didn’t and that’s why he should leave you alone.
“Do you think he’s changed?” You shouldn’t ask. It doesn’t matter what Kai thinks, he doesn’t know Jaehyun like you do and he hasn’t known him for nearly as long. His opinion doesn’t matter.
Kai blinks. “I mean, you know what they say. Once a cheater, always a cheater.”
“But I’m asking for your opinion.”
You’ve never seen Kai so speechless. He’s always had something on the tip of his tongue, always. That’s when you consider that you’re probably dumping a shit ton of unwarranted info on him, especially since you had to practically coerce him into even asking you about Jaehyun. Before you have the chance to apologize, he answers.
“I don’t know him nearly as well as you probably do, but from what I’ve seen in the past 2 weeks, he’s nothing like some stupid, immature fuck boy. He carries himself well, cracks his jokes but he’s respectful and doesn’t push his limits, and I’ve never seen him with a girl,” Jongin says. “Come to think of it, he’s single. The boys discussed our dating situations and relationship statuses just so that we wouldn’t be surprised if we got up in the middle of the night and saw some stranger. Said he was single and wasn’t looking for sex.”
And you sigh in defeat, because the only thing that’s changed about Jaehyun according to that description is that he’s apparently single now and isn’t looking for sex.
Or maybe he was some stupid, immature fuckboy. You don’t know. And ever since you found out about her, you haven’t been sure if you’ve ever known him like you thought you did. You haven’t been sure about anything.
“Do you want him back?”
The questions catchs you off-guard. It isn’t exactly new, but you’ve never had anyone ask you this other than yourself. It’s all that you can think about. Do you really want him back? Or do you just miss what you had? What if it’s both?
“I don’t know,” you answer. And trust, you’ve been thinking about it since that whole ordeal at the café Monday. Even if you do, you shouldn’t. You don’t know Jaehyun’s motive, and there are plenty of other guys that can provide you everything he was giving you. One is literally looking you dead in the eye. He’s replaceable, you tell yourself. You don’t need him.
But that sure as hell has nothing to do with you wanting him.
“You don’t know?” Kai lifts his brow, “Or are you simply in denial?”
You feel like he’s your therapist, and the thought almost makes you laugh. Everything reminds you of Jaehyun. How sometimes, you’d play therapist for each other after you had sex, either directly afterwards or in the morning like now. It was so much more than sex, you think. To you, anyways. And that’s likely how you caught feelings.
Oh, dear god.
Even after two years, maybe those feelings you had for him still linger.
“I realized something,” you really don’t have to say anything, it’s written all over your face.
Jongin makes the conclusion, “You want him.”
Slowly, you nod. You think that you shouldn’t, but you do, and Jongin was right about you being in denial. You guess he really does read you just as well as you do him.
“I’m not gonna sit here and tell you what you should or shouldn’t do because it’s your choice to make at the end of the day, but let’s take everything into account,” Jongin starts, voice sterner than it’s been all morning, “I’m not saying age is an excuse, but he was eighteen. All eighteen-year-old boys are stupid. Take it from someone who’s been there. But he’s twenty-one now, and it’s been years. That’s plenty enough time for him to grow and change.”
You nod along. That’s true, and while you could never be too careful because who’s to say he’s changed, who’s to say he hasn’t?
Kai adds, “If you want to take the risk, take it. If you don’t, then don’t. He made an inexcusable mistake. But he’s human, and all humans make mistakes. You dont owe him anything, especially not forgiveness, but be a little open-minded.”
The decision is yours. You can hear Jaehyun out and try to salvage your relationship, or you can continue to shut him out. You don’t owe him a second chance, but god, you must admit that you’ve always secretly longed to give him one, just so that you could go back to what you had.
Whenever you contemplate giving him a second chance, you think about her. You try to put yourself in her shoes, wondering how she must’ve felt, if she ever knew that the man she loved was fucking around with another woman. Maybe that’s how they broke up. Days ago, the thought would have made you run further and further away from him. But now, it’s almost like you’re rooted in place, bumping into dead-ends.
If you were her, you’d be unforgiving. But you’re not her, you never will be her, and that makes you want to be a little more selfish.
That makes you want him.
“Thanks, Kai,” you say, truly grateful to have his unbiased opinion. Usually you wouldn’t trust people you met less than twenty-four hours ago with your personal business, but all the shit you and Kai exchanged last night makes you willing to permit an exception. And then, you feel bad because even after the kind things he’s done for you since last night, he’s still sitting here advising you on your complicated you-problems. “And I’m so sorry for dumping all my problems on you, you’ve been so sweet and the least I could do—”
“Hey, no worries. If you ever need to talk, I’m here,” Kai interjects, “and if you want me to do a bit of snooping around…”
You shake your head. “No way. You’ve already done enough for me, and I don’t want you to get caught up in my drama. I can handle it.”
“Sure, you can. But I don’t want a girl like you to wind up heartbroken, especially over a possible jackass, and at very least you should see if you can trust him before you, well, trust him,” As though he can sense you about to object, he adds, “No buts. I’m going to keep a few tabs on him and alert you if there’s anything suspicious.”
You sigh, and don’t argue because it’s obvious he isn’t changing his mind. You’re grateful.
You smile. “Thank you.”
“Of course. And if he breaks your heart, I’m here.”
You scoff, “Flirting with me again, Kim Jongin?”
“Oh, baby,” he growls, “Keep saying my name like that and I’ll make you forget he ever existed.”
Ten minutes ago, that would have been tempting. But now you know what you want, and you’re determined to have it.
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Yeri thinks it’s a bad idea.
Taeyong thinks it’s terrible idea.
Jaemin thinks you’ve had better ideas, but he’s willing to cooperate nonetheless.
“I don’t get it,” Taeyong shakes his head, “That guy broke your heart.”
“He wasn’t trying to,” you mutter.
“And he still did, that’s the crazy part.”
“It was two years ago. To be fair, all of us were stupid at eighteen.”
“Not all of us were cheating on our partners with a girl we met on summer break, though,” Taeyong quips, incredulous that he’s even having this discussion with you. You’ve always been on the same page, what changed?
You groan, “God, Taeyong. Sure, he cheated. Duh, he was in the wrong. But it wasn’t me that he cheated on and it’s not like we were ever in a relationship. He couldn’t have known how I felt about him when I did everything in my power to hide my feelings. And what if he’s changed?”
“And what if he hasn’t?” Taeyong retorts quickly.
The silence in the room is deadly. Taeyong can’t believe that he’s having to talk some sense into you, all while your other two friends sit quietly observing your argument. Is he the only one thinking around here? Why aren’t they helping?
Then, Yeri speaks up from the other side of the room, “Instead of arguing, let’s just put Jaehyun to the test.”
“And how do you plan on going about that?” Taeyong grumbles.
“Letting her talk to him, dimwit, how else?” Yeri rolls her eyes, “I know that you probably think that allowing him within a ten-foot radius of her is going to break her heart, but you’re greatly underestimating my best friend’s strength. She isn’t stupid, she can identify red flags.”
“Ease up on the fighting words,” Jaemin chuckles, “but I dunno, Yeri’s right. The only way she’ll know if he’s changed is to see for herself. If she notices anything odd, she can give him the boot. It’s not rocket science.”
You glance at Taeyong. Truthfully, you don’t need his permission, and both of you know that. But it would be nice to feel validated by your best friends, especially the overprotective one.
Taeyong glances back at you, and his expression softens. He’s always had a soft spot for you, and it’s hard to tell you no. Plus, he doesn’t want to be the token villain when everyone else is telling you to go for it. To chase what you want.
And in all honesty, Taeyong wishes he could chase what he wants. But the last thing he is is selfish, so maybe now is the time he lets you go.
Finally, he groans, “Alright, fine. Whatever. Talk to Jaehyun, see if he’s really ready to commit. But if this guy breaks your heart, I’m going to quote-unquote accidentally spill the hottest coffee on his face, just to give him a taste of the fire that is hell, where he will burn for eternity.”
Jaemin shivers, having flashbacks to the first time he spoke to Taeyong, “You love a good coffee threat, don’t you? So many fighting words.”
Taeyong doesn’t reply, just glares at Jaemin sharply.
“Hostile, but I’m with him,” Yeri nods, “Mark my words, that man will die a slow, painful death if he makes one more mistake.”
“Yep!” Jaemin agrees, “Don’t worry, babes. We got your back.”
At that, you smile. Your friends are on your side. Now, here comes the real trouble.
Mustering the ability to talk to Jaehyun.
Fortunately, Yerim’s annual Pal-Cation was right around the corner, and would extend until the end of the week.
Last year, Jaehyun didn’t attend.
Correction: he wasn’t invited.
Yeri and Jaehyun haven’t been on amazing terms since she became aware of everything, which put a dent in their relationship. This year, she’s invited him in favor of playing Cupid.
You’re a little nervous, anxious about being in the same space as Jaehyun for more than three minutes after all these years. You’re scared and you’re not sure of what, because if Jaehyun’s really as changed as he implies he is, the result should be predictable.
Then again, you don’t really know Jaehyun’s reason for wanting to talk to you, and that makes you all the more panicked. Of course, he wants you to hear him out, but what does he want to come out of that? A second chance? At what?To you, your relationship was so much more than sex. But what if it wasn’t to him? What if he just wants to get inside your pants?
“Girl, please,” Jaemin scoffs, crashing against your hotel bed like he owns the place. He’s in comfortable awe, and probably wouldn’t think twice if someone told him the beds were made out of marshmallows, “you were defending his life choices like yesterday—god damn, these beds are soft—and now you’re having second thoughts? Since when do you back down from things?”
You throw a pillow at him, “I was not defending him!”
“I talked to him earlier, when he asked me if I was sure about wanting him here,” Yeri states, sitting on the seat in front of the mirror. “Told him that there’s no way in hell he’d be here right now if I didn’t want him to be. He laughed and promised me he wouldn’t do anything stupid, and I told him know, because if he does do something stupid it’s off with his motherfuckin’ head.”
Jaemin smiles, satisfied, “Yeah, that should do it. I’d be scared half to death, you could probably pay someone to kill him and no one would suspect a thing.”
“Enough about killing him,” you grimace, “I’m just, I dunno, nervous, I guess. What if he just wants to get in my pants?”
“Guess you better go found out, and tonight is the perfect opportunity. I reserved the pool, so we have the entire area to ourselves until midnight.”
“Yeah, and that wouldn’t be too bad anyways. When was the last time you got laid?” Jaemin adds.
You sneer and flip him off, “For your information, I got laid at that party Friday night when you left me for dead to go get drunk. And that’s why your ass was hungover. And Yeri, you never told me that your step-brother was so fucking hot.”
Yeri exclaims, “You slept with Jongin?”
“You slept with her brother?”
And that’s where you conclude that you’ve overshared, and it’s time for everyone to have some time to themselves, “Alright, everybody out,” you push and pull them both out, until they’re standing outside your door, “I’ll see you guys tonight.”
Then you shut the door, and lie on your bed, sighing with comfort. Jaemin’s right, the beds really are comfortable. You’re feeling drowsy already and decide to rest your eyes. There’s hours until it’s Pool Time.
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Pool Time comes faster than you wished.
You’re antsy, but Yeri has SHINee’s Punch Drunk Love playing, so you feel more at ease. It also serves as a reminder that you’re going to need a drink or two to get through the night.
It doesn’t help that you had a dream about Jaehyun while you were trying to rest your eyes, about the night when you first you met him. You were at Yeri’s step-father’s beach house, and the dream was specifically when you made out in the middle of the pool. I’ll never let you drown, baby. You shake the memory away.
You glance around, and see everyone’s here. Yeri’s talking to her friend Mark who obviously has a crush on her, Jaemin’s engaging in conversation with Taeyong who for once doesn’t look like he wants to rip Jaemin’s head off, Yeri’s other friends are playing in the pool, and—Jaehyun.
Jaehyun’s seated at the bar, looking dead at you, which is exactly where you need to be but your lunch and your stomach seem to not be getting along suddenly. You tear your gaze, and glance back at Yeri. You need her help, one last push or words of encouragement, but you’re not selfish enough to interrupt Mark’s attempts at flirting with your friend and getting some.
Well fuck, you groan. You’re all alone this time, and deciding you look stupid standing there by yourself, you march to the bar and hoist yourself on the stool beside Jaehyun, ignoring the increasing speed of your heartbeat. It doesn’t help that this place only has two barstools.
“What can I get you, sweetheart?” The bartender asks you. She’s pretty, got long dark hair and a nice face. You wonder if Jaehyun flirting with her is the reason she’s been smiling so hard since before you sat down, trying to stifle a giggle.
And you frown at your own thoughts. Leave it to you to automatically assume the worst.
“No idea. Suprise me,” you sigh, and with a nod she gets to work.
It’s difficult, more like impossible to ignore Jaehyun’s presence beside you. He isn’t saying anything, isn’t doing anything as far as you can tell without looking at him, but the knowledge that he’s there has you on your toes.
The bartender brings back your drink, tells you to enjoy and you say thank you before having a taste. You need this before you dare say a word to him.
And then he dare speaks, “Hi.”
You can feel your heart racing and you don’t know why, but you do know that you don’t like it. There’s no reason to feel like this, you heard Jaehyun talk at the party. You somehow manage to chirp back quietly, “Hi.”
“Aren’t you gonna look at me?”
It feels like he’s challenging you, almost to say you’re too much of a pussy to look him dead in the face, and you know you’re more than likely making that up but Jaehyun’s the first person to know that you’re last person to back down from a challenge, so you do turn to look at him.
It takes everything in you to stay rational when you do. You get the chance to look at him, to really look at him, and you’re taken aback by his features. He looks the same, but different all at once, obviously a little older.
Beside you is no longer the teenage boy with the cute, high-pitched voice, but a man with a deep and matured sound to his voice. He’s smiling a little wildly at you. It’s the first time you’ve seen him smile in years.
You take a sip from your drink so that you don’t smile back and say, “I’m looking.”
“See something you like?”
“Nope,” you lie, as though you weren’t obvious checking him out seconds ago, “just you.”
“Aww, don’t be like that,” Jaehyun grins playfully, “smile a little, won’t you?”
“Let’s cut to the chase, Jaehyun,” you change the subject. You refuse to let his little games work on you. “Didn’t you want me to hear you out? Hop to it or I’m leaving.”
He blinks. “Here?”
Well no one can hear you other than the bartender, but it’s a personal issue that deserves the utmost privacy and it’s not like you’re willing to share your personal business with a stranger, so you agree to walk around the pool with him. Close enough so that you’re not bumping into walls, distant enough to not be overheard.
You glance at him, “So?”
Jaehyun sighs, “Rather than defending myself, I think I should apologize. For not telIing you I was in a relationship, for risking dragging you into drama, it was selfish. I was selfish.”
It was selfish. He couldn’t have been thinking of your feelings, or even her feelings.
“There’s no excuse for what I did, and I can’t imagine how belittled it made you feel. You don’t have to forgive me, and I know you’re probably gonna hate me forever for this and I don’t blame you. But I want you to know that I’m sorry,” he gives you those emotional eyes, the same dejected gleam in them, “Sincerely. And if there’s anything I can do to make it up to you…”
“Tell me why,” you want the answers that you’ve been searching for all these years. Not exactly closure, but you don’t want to live in doubt, wondering maybe you were never enough, and that’s why you were always the side piece.
“Why I did it?”
You nod, and he’s silent for a moment.
“I mean, I don’t know. I don’t know why eighteen-year-old me did the shit I did, but I know that I did it and I can’t take it back. I’ve looked back so many times and I still can’t fathom…” Jaehyun trails off, then starts shaking his head, “you know what? Maybe I do know why.”
Don’t cry, you tell yourself. You’re stronger than this. You’re blinking back tears, attempting to keep your voice level as you whisper, “Why then, Jaehyun?”
“It’s not the shocking, life-changing reason I always thought it would be,” he chuckles sadly, “it’s because I was stupid. And careless. I wasn’t thinking, but at the same time I thought I had the world at my feet, and I guess I did but then I…” Jaehyun stops to take a breath after he realizes he’s rambling. “But then I lost you. And that’s when I realized that this, the lying, the cheating, the going behind your backs—it was stupid.”
“It was stupid,” you agree, and he laughs a little more. “But let me ask you one more thing…” you say. He doesn’t reply, but his eyes tell you to go ahead. “Did you love her?” Or did you love me?
Jaehyun nods lazily. “At one point.”
You bite your lip, unsatisfied.
“Did you love me?”
That catches him off-guard. You almost expect him to stop walking the way he’s frozen, and you feel your stomach churning in regret.
“Nevermind, forget I asked that—”
“When you first left, I was unaffected,” Jaehyun interjects. “Like I said, I thought I had the world at my feet, so I thought you were replaceable. I tried replacing you. But it wasn’t the same, no matter how many times I tried, it was never, ever the same,” his eyes muse at you, “No one looked at me the way you did, no one talked to me all night and made me laugh like you did, no one ran circles through my mind like you, no one was like you. So I knew I needed you back, but by the time I realized you were already gone. And that’s when I knew I had fucked up.”
He adds, “So, yeah. I did love you. Maybe it was at the wrong time, maybe it was too late for me to love you, maybe I wasn’t supposed to, but I did and I don’t think I’ve ever stopped.”
Jaehyun’s thumb runs over your eyes, wiping a string of tears that you hadn’t even know you cried. He doesn’t say anything about it, just pulls you closer to his chest.
“What about you?” He asks.
“What about me?”
“Did you love me?”
Now it’s your turn to freeze, and then you almost laugh. Of course, you loved him. You were in love with him. Hopelessly.
“Can I be honest?”
Jaehyun nods. “Mm-hm. That’s what this is all about, right?”
You exhale a sharp breath, preparing to tell one of your deepest, darkest secrets to the one person that was never supposed to know, “When I told you the reason I wanted to end things was because of you cheating on her, that wasn’t the whole truth. It was part of it, and though I’m no homewrecker, there’s another reason. I was in love with you—hopelessly, helplessly, utterly—and I couldn’t stand the thought that you never felt the same, that I was just a plaything to you.”
“Y/n—”
“Let me finish,” you order, “I left to take care of me. I thought it would have been disrespectful towards myself to stay in that position, when from my understanding, I loved you yet you loved her,” you feel another trail of tears coming, and wipe them away before they have the chance to spill. “At that moment, when I found out you already had someone, I felt like I didn’t know you anymore. I thought that maybe you never really cared, and I was the only one that felt it.”
It, the love. The spark. The connection. The butterflies in your stomach when he held you close, or called you cute pet names. The emotion whenever he was deep inside you.
“It felt like I had given my heart to a stranger,” you laugh humorlessly, “because for all I knew, who’s to say I was the only one you were fucking behind her back? I felt so, so stupid. Like I was never enough. And when I first saw your face again after all these years, all of that hurt came back. But at the same time,” you look him in his eyes, “all my feelings for you came back, too.”
It’s silent for a moment, but it isn’t awkward. You’ve just confessed your feelings for one another, not only now, but for the you of two years ago. For the you of eighteen who never thought you’d ever have this chance.
And you can’t believe Jaehyun’s actually had feelings for you, too. It always seemed like some fairytale thing, but hearing one another out like responsible adults instead of immature teens changes things.
“Wow,” Jaehyun whispers in surprise, “Wow. I was such a fool. I made a simple thing so fucking complicated. Imagine where we’d be if I would have just broken up with her and realized my feelings sooner.”
Together. You’d be together, as one.
“Could’ve, would’ve, should’ve, didn’t,” you say lightheartedly, “There’s no use in worrying about that. You’ve apologized. And I forgive you.”
“You forgive me?” Jaehyun gawks. “Why? I thought you’d hate me forever or something.”
“I kinda still hate the you of two years ago, he’s an asshole,” you giggle, “but the you standing next to me right now, today, is a changed man who knows his mistake and won’t do that shit ever a-fucking-gain. Or else.”
Jaehyun snorts. “Of course not. I wouldn’t dare.”
You smile, “Good.”
“Good. So do we address our relationship too, or…”
“Later, please,” you groan. “Come sit by the water with me.”
Jaehyun agrees, and so now you’re sitting at the edge of the pool, your head resting on his shoulder.
“Is SHINee still your favorite band?” He asks.
“Yeah,” you mumble, heart warming at the fact that he even still remembers that.
Then he teases, “Do you still swoon over Lee Taemin?”
You give him a very, very icy glare, “Shut up. I’ll push you into the pool right now.”
“You wouldn’t,” Jaehyun challenges.
Wrong move, you smirk. You love a challenge.
So in one swift movement, you do push him into the pool, and the sound of him yelling and the water splashing is like music to your ears. You giggle, watching as he comes back up, hair heavy and soaked as it sticks to him like a second skin. You also take notice of his white t-shirt, or his abs through the soaked cotton. Six pack. Toned. Stupid dumb crazy hot. Damn, sometimes you forget why you kept coming back to him.
He sneers, unamused. “Not funny.”
“It’s a little funny,” you disagree with a smile.
“Oh yeah?” he says, “Look, Lee Taemin!”
You turn without fully processing his statement yet, “Wha—agh!”
In an even swifter motion, Jaehyun’s pulled your ankles, and now a distracted you falls into the pool with a splash. Not to mention, your bikini cover-up is still on. This, unfortunately, is karma. Inconvenience aside, you’re getting deja vu, a distant memory seeping back into your mind.
You whine, “Not fair.”
“It’s a little fair,” he mocks, and you can’t help but roll your eyes.
“You’re lucky I know how to swim,” you wringe out your hair, “You would have had an lawsuit against you if I didn’t.”
You wonder if he’s taken the hint, if he’s gonna say it. You remember that exact moment, being so close to his face and feeling so warm. I’d never let you drown, baby.
And like a rehearsed line, he says perfectly, “I’d never let you drown, baby.”
“You remember.” Your tone is like a question, but it’s a statement.
“I remember a lot of things about you,” Jaehyun states, and perfectly timed, the current song fades into your all-time personal favorite—SHINee’s 1 of 1. “For instance, is this still your favorite SHINee song?”
One glance in Yeri’s direction confirms your suspicion that this is all her doing, as you see her giggling at you, phone in hand. It was already suspicious of her to play SHINee when she’s an Ariana Grande girl, but now you definitely see her her crystal-clear intentions.
“Yeah,” you mutter, but as you turn back around you notice he’s definitely close enough to hear you. Your noses are almost touching, and you can feel your heart racing. You feel like a teenager in love all over again, blood pumping, your heart beating in your ears. Deja vu.
Jaehyun must be feeling it too, because he asks, “Can I kiss you?”
Yet again, you blush. “Sure.”
And on cue, his lips are against yours. Jaehyun’s still an amazing kisser, he feels gentle yet he’s so fierce, gripping your waist as your fingers tangle in his hair. You know for a fact he’d be even rougher if you weren’t inside of a pool.
His lips feel better than you remember, and then he bites your lip. You moan, lips parting and he darts his tongue in your mouth. You can taste his drink on his tongue, faint remnants of whatever he had in his cup.
Fuck, you forgot how high kissing him makes you feel. It’s like an addictive drug, and you can feel nothing but your heartbeat and his lips on yours. You don’t want him to stop.
And then, to your misfortune, he does stop. You whimper, not really taking notice of how out of breath you are as you’re overcome with greed.
“Why’d you stop?” You frown.
“You need to breathe, babe. You wanna almost drown in the pool like Taeyong?” He laughs.
Speaking of Taeyong, you check on him with your eyes. To your surprise, he’s still talking and laughing with Jaemin, the pair obviously hitting it off and super into one another. It makes you smile. That boy’s had a huge crush on you that you both know you can’t reciprocate for years, and it’s time he lets you go.
“Hello… Earth to y/n? You look like the cute puppy eyes emoji.”
Your eyes snap at Jaehyun, “Shut up,” you reply, “And kiss me.”
“Bossy,” Jaehyun teases, but he must like that about you, because moments later he’s kissing you again, even more passionately than before.
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“Oh, c’mon!”
Yeri giggles, “Sorry, y/n. The majority rules!”
For the second day of your California vacation, Yeri’s decided to take everyone to an amusement park an hour out from the hotel. You asked her why she didn’t do Disney Land this year, but she said it was reserved for her first Bae-Cation.
You roll your eyes. What happened to chicks over dicks?
The point is, you wanted to separate into groups, considering it would be easier to keep up with everyone. However, everyone else wanted to do pairs, arguing that there was more freedom and it’d be easier to come towards a mutual decision instead of arguing over what to ride.
So everyone grabs their partners, and you’re shocked when you see Jaemin and Taeyong step beside one another. You’re incredulous. Jaemin’s just been abandoning you left and right ever since he came back.
“You two in love or some shit now?” You fold your arms, eyes pointing at them accusingly. “What happened to those coffee threats, Yong? I thought you said Jaem was annoying. And Jaemin? You said he was scary!”
Jaemin shrugs coolly. “He was, but then I realized something. Taeyong’s like an egg, he has a hard shell—” Taeyong glares, “—nevermind, he doesn’t like that comparison very much. Taeyong’s like a smore, hard on the outside yet warm and soft on the inside. Oh, and very deli—ow!”
Jaemin holds his stomach dramatically, looking at Taeyong who stands with a satisfied grin on his face. Perhaps, Taeyong still is a little scary.
“Jaem! Yong!”
“Ooh, that reminds me,” Jaemin eyes twinkle, “I think our ship name should be Jaeyong.”
Taeyong disagrees, “No way. It should be Taemin.”
“First of all, you two will never be Taemin,” you interject with a scowl. “Anyways, you two figure that out. I’ll go be with my partner.”
And you stomp away to spot Jaehyun waiting for you with a cheeky grin. You’re optionless, you suppose. Yeri’s with Mark again, Taeyong and Jaemin are obviously a thing now, Seulgi’s with Winter and Jennie’s with Nayeon.
It’s not even like last night ended poorly. Last night couldn’t have been better, you spent your time making out and drinking with Jaehyun in the pool until midnight. It was too good to be true, you felt like Cinderella, having to slip back into her normal life by the time the clock struck twelve.
Now though, you have to be alone with Jaehyun. Okay technically, you’ll be surrounded by hundreds of people, and depending on where you go your friends may or may not be accompanying you, though still. It isn’t that you don’t trust him, but isn’t it natural to feel uneasy?
Jaehyun calls, “C’mon, princess! Let’s go get hotdogs. I’m hungry.”
“We ate at the hotel,” you snort.
“So? That was an hour ago. Plus the time it took for us to get through that crazy ass line. If you’re not hungry, I’ll buy you a lemonade or something.”
A lemonade does sound good, you ponder. It’s summertime, and no amount of sunglasses and mosquito-repellent sunscreen is going to help you beat this heat. It’s ninety-something degrees.
“Fine,” you give in, and an eternity later (curse these never-ending lines) you’re sitting down at a bench, you sipping on your humongous cup of lemonade and Jaehyun eating a hotdog.
To be honest, you really didn’t need the largest size that they had. You were just testing his reaction for the fun of it, expecting to have a giggle or two, but he totally surprised you, buying it and insisting you should have it even after you told him that you were just playing.
The Jaehyun you knew three years ago was many things, and rich was not one of them.
“Let’s talk,” he says after discarding his hotdog in the bin. Oh of course, Jaehyun’s brain cannot function when he’s running low on food.
Playing dumb, you ask, “About what?”
“Us,” he answers simply.
“In the middle of an amusement park?”
“It’s important,” Jaehyun grins, “You don’t trust me.”
Perplexity is written all over your face. You trust Jaehyun on the basic level, you feel safe around him and in his embrace. But you’re not sure if you trust him with your heart just yet, and after everything he did, you have the right to be scared.
“And I understand why. I hurt you once, you’re scared I might do it again. So let’s start over,” he concludes, and you blink. “From scratch. Past aside. I want you to get to know me, and I wanna get to know you. I’m sure there’s plenty of things I don’t know about you now.”
I mean, you know the gist. You didn’t say that aloud, of course. Through a discussion last night, he still knows your favorite color and your undying love for pie and SHINee, especially Taemin, your birthday, your mom’s birthday, even your dog’s birthday—okay, maybe he knows too much. Or you overshared. Who knows.
And you still remember a lot of facts about him, but at the same time, there’s still so much you don’t know about one another.
“Right,” you agree, “So by starting over, you mean…”
“Completely,” he answers quick. “Let’s re-introduce ourselves.”
Your lips don’t quiver, drawn into a line. “You gotta be kidding.”
“I’m serious!” Jaehyun claims. “C’mon, I’ll even go first.”
“Jaehyun—”
“Aht, aht! You’re not supposed to know my name,” Jaehyun chides. “Hi, my name’s Jaehyun, I’m twenty-one, and I like Cigarettes After Sex. The band, I mean. I don’t smoke.”
You roll your eyes. There was no need for him to explain, because literally everybody knows Jaehyun likes Cigarettes After Sex, the same way everyone knows you like SHINee. But for the sake of placating him and getting this over with, you refuse to make any comments.
“This is so corny.”
“The longer you wait the longer it takes.”
Reluctantly you give in, but not without a groan. “Hi, Jaehyun. My name’s y/n, I’m also twenty-one, and I like SHINee.”
Jaehyun claps dramatically, “Bravo! Was that so hard?”
“Yes, actually.”
He giggles, tells you to stop being dramatic and you two begin your mission to ride every ride that you can within the span of a few hours. You get more snacks in between, sharing a container of butter-y delicious popcorn and double-dating some rides with the other pairs (which unfortunately happens to lead to you witnessing Mark throwing up in a bush).
Unfortunately, time flies by fast when you’re having fun, and when Yeri texts the Pal-Cation Pals group chat to meet up by the first popcorn stand in fifteen minutes, you know you have little time remaining, enough for one last ride.
The Ferris Wheel.
Last but not least, the Ferris Wheel. You and Jaehyun have been saving it for last, agreeing the full experience is at dark night, when the colorful lights illuminate the indigo sky.
“Let’s go!” You pull him into a cart, and he laughs at your enthusiasm.
When the ride starts, Jaehyun holds your hand and you rest your head on his shoulder. It feels nice and comfortable, and you quickly realize you miss having him like this. Close to you. And it’s silent for a moment. You and Jaehyun have always had these moments together, where you’re not talking one another’s ears off, but holding each other in warm silence. You have always valued the other’s company.
You watch as the world gets smaller underneath your feet, how the Ferris wheel lights twinkle in vibrant colors, and shine on its surroundings. You see how the other rides glow in the dark, appearing so close yet so far away.
It’s beautiful. Your eyes flare different colors—red, blue, pink, green—as you gawk in wonder. If you could, you’d stay like this forever, watching this astonishing sight with Jaehyun at your side.
“You look pretty in the light,” Jaehyun marvels, snapping you out of your daze. The butterflies and their flapping wings come back, and he’s always been able to make you feel like this so easily.
Warmth fills your cheeks, and you turn around so that he doesn’t notice. “Don’t I always? Or are you saying I only look pretty in the light?”
Jaehyun rolls his eyes, “You’re still impossible. I’m trying to flirt with you.”
“Then do so,” you smile. “Keep telling me about how pretty I am.”
“Look at me,” Jaehyun whispers, but it’s loud and clear to you. Slowly, you do look at him, noticing the way his lips curl into a soft grin, and how the purple light casts on his gorgeous skin and features. “Your lips are pretty, too.”
Next, he’ll call your bones pretty and you’ll still feel your face flush with heat.
Jaehyun kissed you for hours last night, but when his lips collide with yours again you know that you’ll never get used to the feeling. Your fingers card through his hair while his gravitate towards your skin, cold hands sending a shiver down your spine as they mesh with the evening warmth.
You bite at his lip this time, wallowing in the sound of his moan as it tumbles from between his parted lips. He can feel you smiling, the corners of your lips spreading apart as you stifle a laugh.
It feels like fire consumes you, like you’re melting, melting into his touch, like candle wax as his fingertips trace your skin. Like a bomb’s ignited inside you, like you’re exploding, and the more you feel him the more you desire him. The more you crave him, the more your body yearns for him.
You know you have him when you move for his neck, marking a trail of red lipstick stains that look purple in the light. He takes it as a challenge, retaliating with a bite at your neck that makes you sigh in pleasure, and this is definitely why you get along so well—you’re compatible.
“When we get back,” you gasp, ignoring the complacent look he casts at you, “Meet me in my room.”
“What about the others?”
“They saw us making out in the pool, Jaehyun, literally nobody cares,” you roll your eyes. “No more sneaking around shit, right?”
He smiles, “Right. Can’t anyways, your lipstick is all over my throat.”
You giggle, and bring him back in for another kiss as the ride begins to slow to an end.
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The next couple of days are equally eventful, yet fly by far too quickly for your liking. You hit the beach and unfortunately witness a woman being stung by a jelly fish, visit some museums, the zoo, and even hike near the Hollywood sign. You also make sure to spend Yeri’s money on some souvenirs, and Jaehyun buys you matching necklaces. You have his J, he has your first initial.
Today is Saturday—already. Tomorrow you will return home, and you’re not sure if you’re ready or not. You sigh as you scroll through your camera roll. You’ve had so much fun this week, there’s the pictures of Mark’s scared face on the roller coaster, Taeyong buried alive into the sand, Yeri and the girls trying on humongous sun glasses at the mall, and the video of Jaemin and Jaehyun arm-wrestling to determine who’s the better Jae to prove it (Jaehyun won).
Like a normal Saturday, today’s the one chill day. The whole week has been chaotic in a fun way, but Yeri had nothing else planned, so she told everyone to take a day to wind down and feel free to venture out to wrap up the vacation.
Which leads you to now.
Jaehyun and you agreed to visit the park, just walking around and talking, and perhaps doing some making out in between. You’ve been doing that a lot lately, and you’re pretty sure you’re addicted. It’s like there’s crack in his lips that cannot simply be fixed with chapstick.
“It’s hot,” you complain.
Jaehyun snorts. “We’re in California, babe. Imagine Yeri took us to Florida.”
You wince. You’re barely beating the Californian heat, there’s no way you’ll survive down south in Florida. It doesn’t even snow there.
“I thought you were gonna say some fake-romantic shit, like I’ll reach into the sky and throw the sun into the freezer, princess, just say the word,” you mimick his voice exaggeratedly.
Jaehyun rolls his eyes, but laughs nonetheless, “No can do, princess,” he teases, “but I can get us some ice cream from that stand over there. Stay put, I’ll be right back.”
“Wait!” You shout. “You even know what I want?”
He says your favorite flavor, and even your preferred container to consume it in, “Right?”
A smile spreads on your lips, and your heart flutters. He remembers. “Right.”
Jaehyun shoots you a smile then jogs over to the ice cream stand, pulling his wallet from his pockets. You gotta remember to ask him where he’s getting all this money from, this man could be a drug dealer for all you know.
Nonetheless, you sit at a nearby bench and pull out your phone. Nothing beats checking up on your Animal Crossing island while you wait.
You notice the presence of someone sitting beside you but don’t bat an eye, knowing without looking that it isn’t Jaehyun. And who are you to shoo away a stranger if they want to rest their feet?
“You must be y/n,” hearing your name, your eyes snap to the side instinctively.
And that’s when you realize that this stranger may not be as unknown as you initially thought.
Your eyes widen, “You…”
“I am, Jaehyun’s ex-girlfriend,” she, Victoria announces proudly, like it’s some achievement to be clipped onto the fridge.
You never met her, but you’ll never forget her name, or her face for that matter. It’s kind of stupid, how you found out. You were on Instagram, and you saw Jaehyun’s account in the replies of Yeri’s post. You clicked his profile, because you had never exchanged accounts before, and you quickly saw why.
He didn’t post her often, amongst all the flaunting images of himself, but when he did he made it crystal clear that she was his girlfriend, and what sole other woman would he continuously post onto his page?
“What are you doing here?” You ask, an obviously bitter edge to your voice. It isn’t she that you should be bitter towards, but you can’t help but feel slightly defensive.
“Relax, darling, I’m not stalking you on whatever summer vacation he’s had the courtesy to whisk you away on,” Victoria giggles. Of course not, that would be obsessive. “It’s actually a coincidence to see you, but since we’re here, let’s talk.”
Disinterested, you reply, “There’s nothing for you and I to discuss.”
“Of course, there is! You were fucking with him while he was with me, right?” she gives you a picture-perfect smile that makes you want to grit your teeth, yet you compose yourself. She sighs, “You know that, and yet you’re like what, dating him now? I’m telling you now, once a cheater, always a cheater. You might think he loves you now, but I promise you, he’ll stab you in the back the moment you aren’t looking.”
Victoria misjudges your silence as you giving her the go-ahead to continue, “I know that you know, and I know you’re trying to convince yourself that he’s changed, but he’s still the same old bastard he was three years ago. I mean just look at him, he’s even flirting with that lady now.”
With furrowed brows, you turn in Jaehyun’s direction, eyes finding that he actually is flirting with the ice cream lady. You can’t believe your eyes. Really? The fucking ice cream woman? He isn’t trying to be subtle with it, either.
She tilts her head as she speaks in your ear, “See? He doesn’t give a fuck. Not about you, not about her, not about any of us. You’re just yet another notch in his belt.”
And suddenly, all those doubts come back, the ones that you had pushed away and replaced with your growing feelings for him. Yet now that they’re existing within the same space, it’s even more terrifying, it’s exactly what you feared.
What if Jaehyun never really cared? What if all this is just some big act? What if he’s just been playing with your emotions this entire time? What if you don’t really know Jaehyun like you thought?
You want him, but what if he doesn’t really want you?
Jaehyun walks over, seemingly not noticing his ex-girlfriend’s presence, “I got the ice cream. Who’s th—Victoria?”
“Hello, Jaehyun,” she waves, offering him a smile. “We were just talking about you.”
“What the fuck did you tell her?” Jaehyun scowls, taking notice of your silence and the empty, unhappy gaze you shoot him. You don’t even smile, hardly even blink.
Victoria shrugs. “Nothing she doesn’t already know.”
“I’m walking back to the hotel,” you announce, sliding your phone back into your pocket and peeling yourself off of the bench.
“Wait!”
He calls out your name.
For the third time, you turn and walk away.
This time, though, he’s not letting you walk away. Not without putting up a fight first.
“Why are we doing this again?” Jaehyun yells. “Why? Did I do something? We can just talk this out, you know. What happened to no more secrets?”
You retort, “You fucking tell me, Jaehyun! How am I supposed to know that you don’t have secrets?”
“The same goddamn way I know you don’t have any! Trust!” And the realization hits him hard. He knows that it’s only been some days, but what could Victoria have said to make you back out so hastily? “Is that what it is? You don’t trust me?”
Tears sting your eyes. “Trust you? You want me to trust you? With you being the kind of person you are? You’re out of luck.”
That burned Jaehyun. After all of the bonding you’ve done lately, he would’ve thought that you would trust him a little more, but he sees clearly now. He sees that he’s done all he can do, and now it’s time for you to do your part.
“What kind of person am I, y/n?” He asks coldly, shoving his hands in his pockets.
You spit, “You’re an asshole.”
“Yeah?” Jaehyun laughs tonelessly, “Well frankly I think you’re an asshole, too. So when you’re ready to be assholes together, let me know.”
And this time, Jaehyun’s the one that walks away. This time, you understand his pain, as you have those tear-stung eyes and that quivering voice. That empty feeling inside, the pang in your heart. The way it’s killing you inside, but you don’t have it in you to move, to chase him. All you can do for now is let it eat at you slowly.
Maybe Victoria was wrong. Maybe you’re planting the knife in your own back.
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Sunday comes slowly, and you’re glad you didn’t ride the same van as Jaehyun. You still have to deal with the curious stares your friends shoot you, but it’s better than confronting your emotions, or at least you think it is.
You’re not ready yet.
When you get home, the first time you do is order Panda Express via Uber Eats so that you don’t starve as you rot in your room. The next thing you do is flop against your bed and and sob.
A few days go by like this, in pure brutal agony. You drowning in your thoughts, the maybes and the what if’s. You feel like a teenage girl experiencing her first break-up, lost and confused and unsure of how to deal with the hurt. It’s no one’s fault but yours though, and it’s your job to fix it or forever hold your peace.
Love is hard. You know that. You accept that. If you couldn’t, then it would be wrong of you to try be in a real relationship. But loving, as a verb, is easy. Too easy. So easy, to the point where sometimes, you don’t realize you’re doing it until it’s too late. What’s harder is accepting the fact that love isn’t a choice, but a feeling. If it was, you would have chosen to stop loving Jaehyun years ago. You would have chosen to fall in love with Taeyong, or maybe even Kai.
But your heart chose Jung Jaehyun, and it must have a mind of it’s own, because no matter how much you tell it to let go, it doesn’t listen.
That’s why as the days go by, they’re slow and empty. Because Jaehyun’s not there. Not with you. And a little voice in the back of your head is saying he’s with another girl, but your heart is telling you to have faith. You are severely conflicted.
Just when you think you might just spend the rest of your life rotting here, you’re quickly proven wrong by the dedication and genuine care and concern of your best friends.
“Hey, bitch,” Jaemin strolls in casually, as though this is his room, “New guy already?”
“What?”
“Some guy opened the door,” he replies, flopping against your bean-bag cough.
You blink, gears turning in your mind as you try to decipher what man could possibly be inside of your house—oh. You roll your eyes, “That’s my roommate’s boyfriend, you dumbass.”
“Oh,” Jaemin mumbles, then his eyes twinkle as he makes a move for your desk, “Ooh, Panda Express.”
Suddenly, Yeri storms inside your bedroom, flickering on the lights inside your very much dim and deprived of life, sunshine and happiness room, chanting vigorously the lyrics to Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj’s The Light is Coming, “The light is coming to give back everything the darkness stole!”
You groan, yanking the sheets and comforter over your face to block out the light like a vampire, “You guys, please leave me alone.”
“Nope,” says Taeyong, who follows suit after your other friends, venturing into your room. You fight, you tugging the covers towards you while he attempts at pulling them off. It’s a quick battle which you lose, and you soon accept defeat. “You’ve been suffering in silence—and darkness—for far too long. So, fess up. What did that punk do? Do I need to prepare the coffee?”
You sigh, Saturday seeping back into your memory. “He didn’t do anything.”
Jaemin blinks. “What do you mean? Why else have you been sulking in your bedroom for the past four days like a divorced man who’s ex-wife took the kids and the TV? Shit, all you’re missing is a bar and some alcohol at this point.”
You roll your eyes, “I mean, I was the one that fucked up this time.”
“What?”
“What?”
“What?”
They all gasp involuntarily, and if you had it in you, you would roll your eyes at the chorus of what’s.
That day rewinds in your head, how it was so warm then so cold within a matter of moments. Your eyes water as you recall everything that happened, Victoria, your public altercation, walking back to the hotel alone while it felt like there was a rain cloud above your head, despite the piping hot conditions outdoors.
It isn’t like you don’t want to let Jaehyun in. You do, but you’re terrified of granting him that permission, of giving him your heart when he’s broken it before. But this way, you’re only breaking your heart more, and breaking his, too.
“I did something stupid. I assumed the worst when I shouldn’t have, and then I got scared. So I ran,” you want to bury yourself underneath the covers and sink into the earth to be forgotten, but you have to deal with your mistakes. “And I broke his heart. Now I need to fix it, but I don’t fucking know how.”
Yeri thinks you’re dumb.
Taeyong thinks you’re stupid.
Jaemin thinks you’re out of your fucking mind and an absolute fool for letting your thoughts destroy you, but he’ll do whatever he can to help.
“Talk to him, duh,” Yeri says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and it is, but easier said than done.
“How? I bet he doesn’t even want to see my face.”
“Are you kidding?” Jaemin gawks. “He’s been moping around the apartment like literally all week, and me and Jongin haven’t said anything because we thought it was his fault! He also has divorced man syndrome!”
Oh. You feel extra stupid now, and you can’t believe you let Victoria get in your head. Collapsing onto your pillow, you groan, “I really am an asshole.”
“Maybe, yeah,” Taeyong agrees, “but so is he, you guys are a match made in heaven.”
“Or hell,” Jaemin chimes in.
Taeyong glares. “With that being said—and I mean this in the friendliest way possible—get your head out of your ass and go talk to him.”
And you smile softly at that. If Taeyong’s giving you the push, you know that everyone’s right and you need to do something. Now.
You nod and whip out your phone with a sigh, opening iMessage. Can we talk?
(Delivered.)
(Read.)
Sure.
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Antsy, you’re fidgeting. Your anxiety is spiking and you can feel your heartbeat directly in your eardrums, but this time your fears won’t scare you off. You wait for Jaehyun, feet tapping against the ground restlessly, until you see him nearing.
He walks over to your side, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets and you feel your heart wrenching a little when you notice that he doesn’t give you his wild grin he usually shoots whenever he sees you. His face is inscrutable, and you bite back the urge to run, because you know now that no matter how fast you run, you’ll never be able to hide from your feelings.
“Hey,” your voice is giving up on you, but you refuse to let it. Get a grip.
“Hey,” Jaehyun whispers back. His eyes are dark and empty, and that’s how you know you cut him deep. There’s always a gleam to his eyes, whether sad or blissful.
You can do this, you tell yourself. You’ve talked to him about much worse before, this should be nothing. But still, it’s never been quite like this. You’ve never made this bad of a mistake.
“About Saturday,” you begin, still fidgeting but managing to look at him, “I’m sorry. I jumped to conclusions instead of asking you, instead of trusting you, and I let Victoria get in my head—”
“Yeah, what the hell was that about?” Jaehyun interjects. “Sorry for interrupting you, but I’m still confused. Did I do something?”
“She pointed out that you were flirting with the ice cream lady. What was that?”
Jaehyun blinks, processing your statement, and when he does he begins shaking his head, “Seriously? You’re telling me this is all over the fucking ice cream? I was only flirting with her to get free ice cream! You know they was trying to charge me fifteen dollars for 4 scoops?”
“It’s not just that!” You exclaim. “Like, yeah, that triggered it, but—fuck, Jaehyun, I was scared, I was so fucking scared. I was overthinking, and all my doubts and fears came back, that what if you never cared, what if you don’t want me like I want you, what if I don’t know you like I think I do? I was scared to trust you, scared that I love you because I don’t want to lose you again—”
If Jaehyun was a dog, his ears would perk up. “You love me?”
“Yes,” you answer boldly. “I love you, Jaehyun. I’m in love with you, and up until now that scared me half to death, because I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to know that you love me, too,” and especially enough to stay. “But now I know. I trust you, Jaehyun. I love you, I want you, and I’m gonna be honest, I’m still a little scared. But that’s what love is, trusting someone to not break your heart. It’s a risk I’m ready to take for you.”
Jaehyun is silently stunned. He doesn’t have much to say, taken aback by your confession and the fact this actually happening. “You mean that?”
You nod, smiling. “Every word.”
In seconds, Jaehyun has you pinned to the wall, his lips against yours. God, you missed this feeling. The feeling of his plush lips against yours, his hands on your body. You miss kissing him irresistibly, every hour of every day, for moments at a time until you were breathless.
Jaehyun seems to have missed it just as much, kissing you with a passion—hungrily; greedily. He kisses you like he can’t have enough, like his lips have an insatiable hunger.
And you can’t believe you’re making out with him behind your apartment, but you’re willing to try new things for him.
Jaehyun taps your thighs, and by now you know that that meets to jump, so you do, shrieking a little, yet he doesn’t let you fall. “I got you,” he whispers in between kisses, breath tickling your skin, “and I won’t ever let you go.”
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It’s been five days. You’ve been trying not to think too hard about the label thing, maybe Jaehyun is planning something, he wouldn’t just forget to ask you to be his girlfriend.
You’re walking back to your apartment when it happens.
“Excuse me,” a stranger with an oddly familiar voice calls at to you, and when you whirl around, the last person to see is…
“Taemin?” You nearly scream. He points his index finger to his lips, gesturing for you to be quiet, which makes sense because you’re in public but there’s literally no way the man standing before you is the Lee Taemin. You’re dreaming.
You even pinch yourself, much to his amusement, and come to the realization that this is very much real. You could faint. Taemin? Lee Taemin? From SHINee? There’s simply no way.
“I believe this is for you,” Taemin holds in his hands your all-time favorite SHINee album, The Misconception Of Us. You take it, staring at the album in disbelief. You’re gawking. “And one last thing. Come with me, please?”
Okay, what the hell. He has to be trying to kidnap you or something, it’s perfect bait. Who wouldn’t agree to follow their favorite artist after they randomly pop up behind you and offer you your favorite album for free? You’re lucky it isn’t some kidnapping scheme, because you ultimately end up following him despite your doubts.
He takes you to the cafe, which, to your surprise is empty. At least you think it is, until Jaehyun slips out of hiding, walking up to you with a smile.
“Jaehyun,” you can’t help smile back, “What the?”
“Flip it over,” he says, gesturing towards the album, and curiously, you obey. To the back is attached a sticky note that says, To my 1 of 1 girl, will you be my girlfriend? It’s cheesy, but it has you smiling so hard your cheeks hurt.
“Yes!” Instantly, you crash into his arms. “Yes, yes, yesyes yes—” he has to cut you off with his lips, and you melt into kiss.
You pull away the second you hear the intro to your favorite song, 1 of 1, and look onto the cafe stage (yes, the cafe has a stage for Friday through Saturday night performances) to see Taemin beginning to sing and cover the other members parts.
You’re mind-blown. A part of you is still convinced that this is a dream, because how the fuck did Jaehyun get a man as busy as Lee Taemin to do this? You forgot to ask him who he works for, but do drug dealers have Lee Taemin money?
“How did you—”
“Shh,” Jaehyun pecks your lips, “Taemin’s singing.”
You roll your eyes, yet giggle. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Jaehyun engulfs you in a warm, comfortable hug, “And only you.”
When he says it, you trust him. You believe him. Because the Jung Jaehyun you know and love today is a man of his word, and that means you get to love him with no fears, and no worries.
Love is a challenge. And in this moment and the next, it’s safe to say you’ve won.
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lily-radiance · 8 months
Text
Hazbin Hotel idea
- Fallen-Angel reader(Fem) x Alastor
The reader is doubting Heaven's actions and decides to take a trip to Hell to see for herself.
- Disagrees with the idea of senseless carnage but understands life is not so simple and split in two.
- Charlie, of course, takes her in, although she does not know the reader is an angel. The reader at first doubts the redemption idea but begins to see the vision.
- Reader is not a fan of Lucifer for many reasons, but mainly because he "betrayed" Heaven, and his relationship with Lilith/Charlie is strained.
- Imagine Hell's greatest Dad, but instead of y'know the whole dad part, Lucifer and Alastor are trying to make you pick a side.
- Alastor, chaotic as usual, tries to get the reader to accept being fallen and doesn't want her to go back. She tells him about her 'predicament' before anyone else, and you better believe he wants to fight the angels for you. He tells Charlie and the others about everything because he knows you won't do it yourself. You obviously get mad. Like big mad.
- In your spiral, he sees your wings at their total capacity, and your shaken demeanor has them changing from white to black at a high rate.
- Vox and Valentino get the terrible idea to hold you for ransom against Alastor and Angel Dust, and they do not go unpunished. Vox makes several derogatory comments about your "holier than thou image," Alastor won't let him get away with it. When it comes to you, he has no problem with your lineage, and honestly, he finds it charming that an angel of all creatures would fall for him.
One of your wings gets injured, and unsurprisingly, it happens to be one of the only angelic wings left. (Say the top and bottom wings on each side are black while the middle two are white?) You used to dye your wings to hide your angelic nature, but with an injury present, it is the least of your concerns. Alastor refuses to let you fly while in recovery, and he has to deal with your pouting. When you do heal, he's still weary, always accompanying you in case you need a helping hand.
"Al, I can fly on my own! Look, my wing is healed!"
"No."
"C'mon, just one lap around the hotel!"
"No."
- Husk thinks you're pretty chill company and likes to vent when you have nothing to do. Sure, he can't say much about Alastor without fearing for his soul, but when he can, the conversations are never dull. If you make him laugh, you'll never let him forget it.
- Angel and Nifty constantly tease you about your infatuation with a particular radio demon. Don't expect any worthwhile advice, even if it means no harm. Charlie really wants to see you and Al together, but she might need to be reminded about boundaries.
- Angel Dust once tried to hit on you to see what would happen and nearly got thrown into next week.
- When he says "Good Girl" to Charlie, you can't help but blush and be a little jealous. He isn't afraid to use the phrase to fluster you on purpose, although you would prefer he not.
- If you wear makeup/do your nails, he will be fascinated. He doesn't say anything because once, he spooked you and made you jump, ruining it. The next hour was spent with him memorizing every detail of your designs in case of another mistake. If he scares you again, it's his job to redo everything. Except for mascara. Never mascara.
- Chess and poker games when the staff has downtime. He will use his shadows to help you cheat, but only if he's not playing with you. Husk knows but says nothing.
- If you're listening to music with earbuds, he will occasionally slow the signal so he can bother you. At first, you were annoyed, but realized it was his odd way of communication. Plus, he still hates technology. (You will purposely play "Video Killed The Radio Star" to get him back.)
"Would you kindly stop playing that infernal song, my dear?"
"Not until you stop interrupting my music."
- The Egg Bois love you, that's no surprise. They always ask about you when being watched by Alastor. The radio demon has come to accept the many questions by now, but the first time, he wanted to spit out his coffee. You think fondly of the memory, occasionally bringing it up to lighten the mood.
"Are you and Mom fighting?"
- When you get into disagreements, expect a few dozen bouquets of white roses in your room. He's terrible at expressing emotions other than murderous intent, and Charlie does what she can to help. You're both stubborn, but it gets too exhausting to keep up the act, and eventually, someone has to cave. (Charlie isn't afraid to wear her horns when confronting him, and if he tries to avoid apologizing, Lucifer will make a daily phone call to annoy him.)
"Hey asshole, talk to your girlfriend, it's upsetting my daughter. Also, you suck."
- Regarding the Extermination day, you try your best to fight the Angelic invasion but struggle. Alastor is stuck between keeping you and the Hotel safe. When Adam nearly beats him, you don't know he's alive, but his reappearance at the new and improved hotel is a welcome sight. He's a little rattled that he almost died, but seeing you safe is enough to keep him going. He might be a tad crazier, but you love him to pieces anyway as you run up and hug him. Typically, he despises physical contact, but coming from you, he doesn't mind, even going so far as to hug you back.
"I assure you that I'm alright, mon cher."
"Are you sure, Al, because that was a difficult fight. Wait—your voice!"
The radio demon takes a moment to realize that without his staff, his voice is clearer than before.
"Oh, you must mean the radio feedback is gone. Yes, I suppose you've never heard my regular voice. I had forgotten what it sounded like. How is it?
"It sounds lovely. I couldn't imagine a better fit."
"I should return the compliment; that is what a proper gentleman does. Your wings look lovely as ever, (Y/N)."
You look over your shoulder to see the feathers no longer entirely black, but back to their ivory shade. A few straggled feathers remain, but you don't mind, overjoyed.
In the middle of your undeniably cute interaction, the rest of the staff is watching. It isn't until Husk interrupts with "get a room" that you two get the hint.
Bonus:
Ruffle this tall disaster's hair. He might complain, but he loves it.
Are you feeling extra crazy? Boop him. Just boop the nose. He will do the same to you.
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narcjsistx · 1 month
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hii! hope you’re doing alright :))
can you do headcanons on chika takiishi(wbk)? like what would it be like dating him?
at the moment chika is not one of my favourites, but I'm pretty sure it will become in the next chapters... WHAT ABOUT HIS DESING? IT'S LITERALLY GORGEOUS HELP
𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
�� Chika Takiishi in a relationship HCS ᡣ𐭩
We all know that Chika's character isn't exactly the most outgoing, so in a relationship he certainly won't be the talkative guy that many hope for. Will it open a little more? Yes probably, but nothing excessive
The trope I see closest to a relationship with him is the "sunshine x sunshine protector". You would literally be one of the safest people in the city if not the safest. He's there to protect you, but let's remember that Endo practically protects what his muse loves... so yes, you would practically have two bodyguards. Not that Chika particularly likes leaving you with Endo, but if he has to, he's the only one he wouldn't have too much trouble with
He would take you wherever he goes too, he's not particularly happy about leaving you at home for the simple reason that they might attack you directly when he's not there. Sure, seeing your boyfriend get into extremely violent fights with several people isn't exactly the best scenario, but as long as Endo makes you think of something else... it's okay
The others, including Yamato, don't dare say anything remotely insulting towards Chika. Is it out of fear? Absolutely yes. But you have a sort of pass, you are in a certain way free to tell him whatever you want... with a certain limit however
He is often seen wearing a lot of costume jewelry: like rings, earrings and necklaces. I have this little scenario in mind that, before he goes out, he steals some from your collection and puts them to have you with him somehow. He'll never admit it directly, but it's a very personal way for him to always have you with him even when you just can't come
He will never directly ask you for a hug, but if you ask him, he won't let go until he's satisfied. It could take a few minutes or even an hour, it depends on the mood
Your dates are mostly at your house or his, he's not a big fan of outdoor ones for the simple reason that he hates people staring at him. Despite having a small space, things can vary from a night playing video games, to a night watching a movie, or doing… yk. Although his favorite remains when you color his hair, he loves to see you concentrate while you paint the yellow on the ends of his hair
The bad thing about dating Chika is that even when dead he won't apologize, even if it's entirely his fault. You will have to be the one to do it, and if you don't do it either, it will take the way of: I pretend nothing happened and gradually everything goes back to normal, and maybe I give her some more attention. It works, so why change?
I see him as someone who loves kisses on the jaw. While he loves the ones on his lips or neck, his jaw is one place he doesn't know how to react to without maintaining his usual commanding look. He might even hug you if you do, but I would keep my expectations low
Chika is canonically 1.83cm tall, and I can see him a lot with a partner who is much shorter than him, like 1.50cm or a little more. Just for size reasons, his clothes would probably be a little loose on you, and even if he doesn't show it, he likes to see you in his fur coats or t-shirts when you wear them
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charliehoennam · 3 months
Text
feral love
a/n: @sizzlingcloudmentality had me in a chokehold with this idea.
prompt: Being all up in your face, pissed and horny, hands all over you? Not a single fuck given due to the fact that they are in a bar or something "look at your face while I fuck some sense into you." And he grips her neck from behind and makes her look into the mirror above the sink
pairing: will miller x f!reader
warnings: 18+ only, smut, p in v, jealous will, mentions of breaking up (sorta)
SHARING IS CARING, REBLOG IF YOU LIKE IT
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It’s the first date you’ve been on since the rough break-up with Will. You had decided to take a break when the arguments started to become a constant in your daily life.
Technically, you didn’t even know it was a date. You thought you were just getting drinks with your friend. You hadn’t realized she had set you up on a blind date until you arrived at the bar and saw her boyfriend sitting at a table along with his friend.
You didn’t want to be rude, so you figured you’d stay and enjoy the drinks she had promised. Might as well now that you’re already here.
The friend isn’t too bad. Although you keep mistaking the name Louis for Luke, he’s rather cute and seems nice. He keeps asking you questions about your job, where you’re from, your hometown.
He’s trying to make enough small talk to get you comfortable, which you kindly appreciate.
Your answers are slightly short, but kind and enough to keep the small talk going, despite the fact that Louis keeps getting the sense that you don’t want to be there. He’s not wrong about that.
The bar is pretty packed with people excited to see a band play live as they ready their instruments. When the music starts, everyone instantly makes their way to crowd around the elevated stage.
Sitting by yourself at the table to wallow in your fourth – or is the fifth now? –  gin and tonic. Pushing the ice and slice of lime around with your straw, you scan the bar fidgeting uncomfortable in your seat.
Most of the guests are dancing and singing to the music, a few are scattered here and there sitting at the bar or tables to continue their talk. Some are hanging around the pool tables, taking turns. No one really catches your eyes – not that you were even looking for one who might – until your eyes land on a familiar face staring at you from the bar.
Your chest rises heavily but quickly as you stare at Will. His short blonde hair is slightly unkempt along with his beard. He’s wearing the black hoodie that used to swallow you when you’d put it on to get the take-out after a round of good fucking when he’d come home from deployment.
It still smells like your perfume which is why he hardly wears it now, but this night was an exception. He missed you and he wanted to feel like you were still somehow close.
When he saw you in the bar, he couldn’t believe his own eyes. He had to go over to talk to you, but when he noticed you weren’t alone, the courage he had was shot to shit.
Will became quietly furious and told the guys that he was just gonna drink by the bar, that they should go ahead and shoot pool without him because he wanted to be alone.
They kept an eye on him from the distance while he kept his eye on you. With every smile and laugh Louis managed to pull out of you, Will took a shot of whisky along with his beer to keep him from flipping tables. He was ready to drag the man out of there by his collar.
But instead, he sat back and watched you. Watched how you played with your hair like you used to play with it around him, how you rubbed your lips together to even out your lipstick.
Louis’s glance at them didn’t go unnoticed by Will. He remembered how he used to watch your lips because he simply couldn’t take his eyes off of them.
You can tell from the flaring nostrils that he is livid. It’s not out of fear; you know he would never do anything to hurt you.
You can’t stop feeling like a bug on a microscope, so you quickly avert your eyes and look at your drink. Taking a last long gulp of it, you push the glass aside and grab your purse.
You make for the bathroom seeking shelter from Will’s penetrating gaze, but before you can reach the door, you feel a hand grabbing your arm in the empty hallway that leads toward it.
“I just wanna talk.”
“It’s never just a talk between us, Will” you argue trying to avoid the large silhouette of him cast by the dim dive bar light.
“You’re out with someone else? You haven’t even moved your things out.”
“I’m not out with him. I came here with Natalie and she didn’t tell me we’d be meeting them.”
“Are you fucking him?”
You frown at how quick he is to dismiss your entire explanation. All he can think about is that?
“Are you serious? That’s what you wanna ask?”
“Are you fucking him or not?”
“Yes, I am. What’s it to you?”
Lying to Will is stupid. The man interrogates terrorists from for a living. He knows a lie – especially coming from you – when he hears one. But you just can’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that you are still madly in love with him and that it’s why you haven’t moved your things out of his place yet. Inside, you still hope to go back home to him.
He doesn’t reply to you because he knows you’re lying, but it doesn’t stop from getting angry at the thought of you with someone else. You, kissing and touching and fucking someone that’s not him. Their hands holding you and stroking your hair and other parts of your that are meant just for him. That someone else gets to see you come undone, with your hair a perfect mess and lips swollen from his kisses.
That is meant for him. And him only. He can’t understand why you haven’t come home yet, but he does understand why you haven’t come for your things. You can try to hide it as best as you can, but he can see right through your façade.
“You’re fucking him huh?”
His towering frame steps closer, intimidatingly cornering you against the wall. His hand doesn’t leave your arm. The stare he casts down at you has goosebumps travelling over your skin. Like a bunny caught in a trap, you know you’re done for.
“Does he fuck you Iike I do?” he questions nudging his nose at the hair on the crown of your head
“Even better” you snap, trying to resist the trance he holds you under.
He scoffs with a false smile.
“Let’s fucking see about that,” he snarls pulling you into the bathroom.
You frown at the way he shoves you inside, holding your arm where the indents of his fingers are still printed into your skin as you question what his problem is.
“My problem is you.”
Locking the bathroom door, he quickly closes the space between you. His lips crash hungrily against yours. His hand balls the hair on the back of your head, keeping you close and unable to pull away from him. Not that you would either way.
You’ve missed this, you’ve missed him. You’ve missed his kiss. You’ve missed his touch. You’ve missed everything about him.
The way your tongues dance with one another makes you forget why you had even left the house in the first place. As he pushes you back towards the sink, your hands reach for his thick neck to keep yourself from falling over with his eagerness.
Although the music echoes into the bathroom, all you can hear is the heavy breathing and desperate moans coming from the pair of you as eager hands grope clumsily at each other.
The drinks you had only add to the intoxication of his kiss, whisky lingering on his lips. The room spins around you as his mouth reaches that one spot on your neck that he knows drives you insane.
Your head lulls back in a daze and your eyes close to savor the touch of his hand under the top you have on. He groans massaging your flesh and works his way down to your ass, shoving itself past your jeans to push them down as the loose fabric slides down easily.
His large hands grope your cheeks spreading them with a slight burn that only soaks your pussy even more. Will watches his hands knead and massage your flesh the reflection of the mirror like you’re his favorite personal playdough, fingers invading under the fabric of your panties.
With his throbbing dick grinding against you, he closes his eyes and lets himself melt back into the kiss. Keeping a firm grip on your ass, he moves his other hand to your front to shove it down your panties.
You moan his name, pulling away from his kiss desperate for air when he circles around and over your hardened clit.
“Jesus Fuck, Will,” you gasp gripping at his hoodie with your nails. “Fuck, that feels s-so good. Right there…”
With his other hand balled into the back of your hair, he forces your mouth back onto his to continue his selfish prodding with his tongue.
“he touch you like this?” he breathes, mouth opening against your cheek.
“N-no,” you mumble into him.
He smirks watching your face pinch at the pleasure he wants to remind you only he can offer. Gathering the slick from your folds, he hisses at the dampness.
“He get you wet like this too huh? Ain’t even fucked you yet and you’re fucking drenched, baby.”
You shake your head as if he didn’t already know the answer. He just likes hearing that no one makes you feel as good as he can.
Drunk on his touch, the scent of him fills your lungs and goes straight to your head coursing through your veins like a drug. You palm the hard outline of his cock through his jeans and quickly work to unbutton them, high on him as his fingers push into your dripping entrance.
You quickly fumble your hand into his pants and briefs desperate to feel his hard dick. The touch of your hand on his cock shatters the hard front he tries to hold onto.
“Shit, baby,” he whimpers biting into your shoulder when your thumb swipes over his leaking tip.
His fingers cease their movement for a quick moment as you tug on his cock, driving him insane with every stroke. Addicted to you, he turns you around to face the mirror on the wall.
As he quickly pushes his pants and briefs down, you mimic him by quickly pushing your panties down your thighs and spread your legs, angling your hips and arching your ass out to welcome him.
His mouth hungrily latches onto your neck as his cock glides roughly against you drench folds, gathering your slick to mingle with his pre-cum. Licking a glob of his spit onto the fingers that were inside you, he savors the sweet familiar taste he’s longed for as he coats the saliva over the tip of his cock.
“Look at me.” His command has your eyes shooting up to obey, taking in the sight your stained lipstick. “Feel me.”
Staring at your reflection, he watches you to make sure your eyes never leave his as he slowly pushes his cock into your cunt.
“Take it. Take it like a good girl.”
Your eyebrows furrow at the slow delicious burn you feel as his cock slowly spears itself in between your clenching walls.
“You’re my girl,” he whispers wrapping a hand on your neck. The wetness of his spit and your pussy feels cold against your skin.
You nod in agreement gazing hopeless into his dark eyes.
“Say it” he orders bottoming out, balls deep in you.
“I-I’m your girl” you nod, eyes and hips pleading for movement at the fullness of his cock.
“Only my girl?” he questions shoving a hand down to again toy with your clit.
“Only your girl.”
He smiles and finally starts moving his hips, fucking you hard and slow.
“Show me your tits, baby girl.”
Without hesitation, your hands excitedly push your bra and tops up bunching them together over your chest. Will kisses the back of your head praising your obedience, whispering how much he loves you as his hips pick up the pace.
The ungodly sounds of your damp and hot cheeks clapping against his relentless hips fill the bathroom along with your panting. Growing closer and closer to your orgasm, you grip the edge of the countertop and bite down on your bottom lip, taking him raw and rough as best as you can, trying to last longer but the fingers rubbing your clit force your orgasm to come soon than you hoped.
“Look, baby” he orders with a hand under your jaw as he pounds into you, fingertips squeezing into your warm cheeks.
Your teary eyes struggle to fix clearly on the mirror but you obey regardless. You’ll always obey him; a slave to his love.
His hips stutter in their movements as he finally cums into you, filling your walls with warmth.
“Look at you. This is where you belong. With me.” He breathes against your ear.
“Where do you belong hm?” he asks slowly pushing his load deeper and deeper in you with gentle thrusts.
“W-with you.”
“That’s my girl,” he smiles and places a tender kiss to your cheek. “Go say goodbye to your friends and tell ‘em you’re coming home.”
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an-ambivalent · 1 year
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Yandere! Jujutsu Kaisen Headcanons
Warnings: As this is yandere fiction, this deals with behaviours  that can be uncomfortable and triggering to read. Read at your own risk. This work is purely fictional, I do not condone this behaviour irl. By clicking the 'read more/keep reading' you are consenting to read this at your discretion.
Characters:  Satoru, Suguru, Choso and Sukuna 
Yandere! Gojo 
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Type: Clingy & overprotective 
Satoru is the ‘strongest’ and yet he’s lost so much. He’s never going to lose you too; that’s why, he keeps you nice and locked up secure in his extravagant residence that only he can access. You can’t leave the premises due to the tight security procedures Satoru has in place. But you wouldn’t need to since he made sure you have access to everything you would need or want within the premises. Well, almost everything.  It’s never easy to earn Satoru’s trust given how many people pray for his downfall. However, once you become his person, you will always be his person. This is particularly after the trauma he experienced, but very specific to you. When he’s with you, he wears no masks or facades. He can be completely true to himself. He can let his insecurities and fears about not being good enough bleed freely, and he can show his ugly desperation and cling onto you like a leech without any fears that someone will take you away from him. Anytime he’s not on a mission, he spends all of his time with you. You’re the only person keeping the last of his sanity intact. He loves you, he loves you the most. So, he is never going to let you go.
Yandere! Suguru 
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Type: Possessive 
There’s a turning point in Suguru’s life where everything changed, including your relationship with him. You remember when being around him felt like pure bliss. He used to be so kind, considerate, and attentive to your needs. But after that one mission, that made Getou abandon everything, all became different. 
He had abruptly showed up at your abode with empty eyes, fully drenched, and his wet clothes and hair clinging onto him. He clutched onto you and dug his  fingers into you and frantically begged you to leave with him right then and there. You were only trying to calm him down, but he had mistaken this as reluctance, hesitation, and a change in your loyalty to him. How could you even think about abandoning him when he needed you the most?! You noticed the darkness in his expression too late. He had you imprisoned to your spot with a curse he summoned without your notice. The jeer on his face was terrifying, and the glare he looked down on caused unanticipated tremors in your muscles. 
“I don’t know why I bothered asking… You’re just like everyone else. But I can’t let you leave me. Not you. You’re mine. I’ll make sure it always stays that way.”
Yandere! Choso
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Type: Stalker and protective 
Typically, Choso is lax and doesn’t care too much about what you’re up to, as long as it doesn’t break any of the rules he has set for you. Few of these rules being: you can’t go anywhere without his permission, you have to tell him everything and give regular updates if he cannot accompany you. Typically, he is always watching you from the shadows. Even without your regular updates, he knows what you’re up to because if he can’t follow you for some reason, then he makes one of his siblings keep tabs on you and report back to him. 
Choso really cherishes you. He does whatever he is capable of to take care of you. He believes that it is duty to look after you and protect you. He will ruthlessly hurt and kill anyone that hurts you, or believes will hurt you. 
Although Choso wouldn’t normally hurt you, there are instances where he might do something so that you depend on him. Choso enjoys being needed. He loves it even more when you rely on him for the most mundane things. It makes him feel like you cannot live without him just like how he cannot live with you. So, if there was ever a time where he feels that you’re becoming distant and trying to strive for independence, you might ‘accidentally’ have a fracture or two so he can support you and be there for you again. 
Yandere! Sukuna 
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 Type: Sadistic & possessive 
Sukuna has a preference for pain. Causing pain is how he felt free and exhilarated, causing pain is how he felt powerful, and causing pain is how he expressed his love. You’re an innocent petite being… Well, you are in comparison to his demon form. No matter what your size is, from Sukuna’s perspective, everything and everyone is smaller and beneath him. 
He loves you the way a monster can love and cherish their most prized treasure or pet. You may not be his only lover, but you are his number one. You’re the closest to perfection he craves and your innocence, opposite to his corrupted self, is what draws him in. He wants to be the reason for your ruin, your corruption. He wants to be the devil who shows you how delightful temptation is, pull you in, and just when you’re on the edge, tear off your wings, and shackle you to him so that you can never leave him. So you only belong to him. 
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screamingcrows · 3 months
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Long days - Alhaitham x reader
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note: an old thing I've never posted and decided to rework while taking a break from my dead dove dottore wips. There's a part two brewing in my mind. I'll say: bathtub and bed. I do not consent to this being used for ai and will give you Bordetella pertussis if you do. Tags: gn reader, soft, fluff, domestic, established relationship, reader is a student at the Akademiya, overworked Alhaitham Minors, ageless, blank blogs DNI
Lounging around in Alhaitham's house on workdays was always a comfortable experience; you'd wake up to him pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead before leaving, always leaving slices of zaytun peaches, your favorite, on the table. The living room was your preferred spot during the day due to the cool breeze wafting through. He'd often come home and find you laying on the couch, reading through whatever books were left out to avoid your own studies.
The front door was slammed louder than usual, causing your head to perk up in confusion. It was never really difficult to guess if it was him or Kaveh coming home, but today was different. The door had been shut with more force than what Alhaitham usually did. Letting out a soft sigh, you put the book you'd been reading away.
"Alhaitham, is that you?"
Hoping that he'd already turned off his noise cancelling earpieces, your voice remained soft, not wanting to grate on what might be already frayed nerves.
"Obviously" He sounded annoyed although he did his best to hide it behind his usual cold tone, but you weren't fooled by that, not anymore.
It took you only a moment to deduce that it must've been a busy day for him. There had been too many busy days ever since he was forced into accepting the position of Acting Grand Sage, a thought that had long since taken root and blossomed into a fear that you'd never get him back properly. The thought of him always being worn out and having no time to enjoy himself weighed heavily. You debated going out to hug him as usual, ultimately coming to the conclusion that the unexpected touch would likely only aggravate him further.
Instead, you rose from the couch and went into the kitchen, rummaging around for some ground coffee beans.
You cursed under your breath, suddenly understanding the frustration of Kaveh having a knack for reorganizing every time he cleaned. The only thing to do was thank the Archons that he was currently away, knowing full well that he had a habit of pushing Alhaitham's buttons on days like this.
Meanwhile, faint sounds of Alhaitham going about his business reached your ears, getting his shoes and that silly cloak he insisted on wearing off. Some faint clattering rang through the house as he emptied his pockets. Finally.
A loud curse quickly followed by a loud thud caught your attention once more, body tensing on reflex. Maybe he wasn't emptying his pockets after all? Unusual.
Hands working on muscle memory alone, a pot of coffee was set to brew, a little stronger than usual.
"Are you okay 'haitham?" Soothing words were the way forward, knowing he must be seething to warrant raising his voice.
"I'm in perfect condition," he sounded less composed, a hint of snark in his tone as if you'd asked the most ridiculous question.
You smiled to yourself, in some ways Alhaitham was like a small child, getting annoyed as soon as something didn't go according to his plan. Not that he would ever admit to it. But with a watchful eye, you could catch how his eye would twitch and his bicep flex. His movements sounded a little sluggish as he entered the living room
"You're still working through that book for your thesis? At this rate, you won't even start writing before the deadline for submission has passed," voice having quickly returned to it's normal tone, you smiled at his quip, knowing full well what would come next, "You should accept my offer of assistance, it would be the only logical thing to do."
With a small chuckle you entered the living room, the cup of freshly brewed coffee in your hands as you walked over and offered it to him.
"It would be improper for a student to receive help from the highest authority in the Akademiya," you spoke the words with a smile playing on your lips, knowing that he ached to help, having already read through your drafts and provided commentary more than once unprompted, "Besides, you hardly know enough about my field of study to be of any meaningful assistance."
As you spoke, he took a sip of the coffee, visibly relaxing at the warm feeling spreading through his body from both the drink and your presence.
"Hm, is that so?"
A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he sat down on the couch, leaning back and crossing his legs. It was clear that he took it as a challenge, if the way he reached out for your book on the table was any indication. You swatted his hand away with a grin before placing it out of reach. The last thing you wanted was to spend what little time you had with him on something as dull as that.
"You have enough tiresome scholars and students to deal with as it is, no need to add me to that list."
Although you were mostly teasing him, there was a hint of truth to your words, you could see the toll his current position had taken on him, faint dark circles present under his eyes a new constant. He let out a sigh that made you grin, leaving him without counterargument was always pleasant. Not quite as pleasant as the way he patted the spot next to him, eyes fixed on the dark liquid swirling in his cup.
With a satisfied smile, you sat down, resting your body against his toned frame. He placed a soft kiss to your hair, making everything tingle pleasantly. The two of you sat in comfortable silence while he finished his coffee, the color slowly coming back to his cheeks. Begrudgingly, you picked your book back up, instinctively shifting to allow his eyes to skin across the pages as well.
"You should take a bath. You reek of poorly-written submissions and the sweat of scholars desperate for funding," you poked his chest, not taking your eyes off of the book in your hands.
"Have you considered that it could be coming from yourself?"
A small giggle escaped you as you closed your book and tried to wiggle free, which only caused him to pull you closer with a soft hum. He set down the long empty mug before taking the book from your hands, carefully setting it away for later.
"Perhaps you would be interested in joining me for a bath?"
Your ears picked up on the faint notes of hope, unable to deny that the proposition caused a small surge of joy in you. His gentle touch on your cheek was all the convincing that wasn't needed, already fully committed to helping him unwind in any way possible, pushing away the voice that reminded you that this was just as much selfish indulgence from your side.
"Hmm fine," making a show of seeming disinterested, you kept a detached tone and made sure to look away, "but we'd better get to it now, I don't want to be stumbling around naked when your roommate comes home"
A small kiss upon Alhaitham's jaw followed your statement, admiring how his lips turned up into a subtle smile. There's barely time to process the sly hint in his eyes before you feel the world spinning, finding yourself slung over his shoulder.
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sturniozo · 9 months
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Savage Love
Matt Sturniolo x reader Mafia AU
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Summary: After a night out with her friends, Y/n wakes up in a hotel bed with a handsome stranger with no memory of the night before. Pieceing together what she can, she finds the man she woke up with wasn’t just some stranger, but the most powerful man in New York.
A/N: I’m basing all of my mafia knowledge on watching the god father when I was six and that one episode of community with the chicken fingers. Other than that I have no clue how mafia works so this might not be as good as you hope but hey I tried. Tell me if you want me to continue this though! I had fun writing it!
Masterlist
I never go out with my friends and I felt bad about it for a long time. But today, Emma convinced me to go dancing with her at a club in New York. I’ve been in the city many times, as I live just outside of it, in a small apartment above a bookshop. But the city of New York still terrifies me, especially at night. There’s a rumor of a secret organization that controls just about everything in the city, and if you cross the man at the top then you’re done for.
Of course, these are just rumors and haven’t actually been proven. I have nothing to fear, right?
Now I’m sitting in front of Emma’s vanity mirror getting ready as she does my hair.
“Oh you should totally wear it down! Curl it a bit, let it hang over your shoulders. You might hook up tonight, you never know.” Emma teases as she messes with my hair. I finish curling my lashes and then turn to her.
“I don’t think I’ll hook up at all. I’m just not the type.” I shrug and stand up, switching places with Emma as she sits in front of her vanity mirror to do her own makeup.
“Well, I am the type.” She says as she starts with contour. I walk into the bathroom and plug in the curling iron to heat it up.
“You can hook up with any guy you want.” I say to Emma. “Just make sure he wraps it. I don’t want to be an aunt so soon.” I laugh.
Emma and I have been best friends since fourth grade. She’s my polar opposite, although we have the same dreams. We’re both journalists writing for a small newspaper outlet right outside of New York.
Emma’s the type to do things we’re doing now almost every day. She always tells me about all the big parties and exclusive events and venues she’s attended. She’s talk to, and slept with, many of the biggest people in multiple industries to get information for her articles.
I take a different approach. My stories come from the smaller people. The homeless and the struggling. I try to bring attention to the lower class of America.
I bet you can guess whose stories get published. Hence why I live in a small apartment above a bookshop, and Emma has a penthouse.
“God, I know. I can’t handle having a baby now. I’m only 20 for Pete’s sake!” Emma laughs and sets down her makeup brush. She turns to me and says “But I need to sleep with someone big and important tonight. I’m dying here, I haven had a story published in almost two weeks!”
I sigh. Two weeks is nothing. Try five months. I’m basically just a consultant at this point.
Emma turns back to the mirror to finish her makeup. I check the curling iron and it’s nice and hot, so I begin to curl the ends of my hair. Just a little curly at the edge.
Emma gets up from the mirror and starts shutting off lights and electronics around her penthouse. I unplug the curling iron and walk into the front room to put on my shoes and grab my purse. Emma shut off the last light and we walk out of the penthouse. She locks the door and we get into the elevator, going down to the front desk.
Emma has an Uber waiting for us. The great thing about Emma is, no matter how much more she has than me, she always gives and never asks for any in return. It’s always been this way. She’s the sweetest friend I’ve ever had. She’s also the most ruthless journalist I’ve ever met.
We get into the Uber and the driver starts for the city. It’s a long drive, one that me and Emma use to our advantage and try to find out who’s the most important person attending the party.
“Oh my god!” Emma says after a long silence of us just looking at our phones.
“What is it, who will be there?” I ask frantically.
“Matt Sturniolo!”
I look at her, confused. “Who’s that?”
“Who’s that? WHO’S THAT? Matt Sturniolo is only the most powerful guy in New York!”
“That can’t be true, how come I’ve never heard of him?”
“Because you focus on who can help the lower class. He can’t help them, it’s not in his power.”
“Then he doesn’t have much power.”
“Oh, he has power. He has all the power. It’s his rumor that he’s the one who controls all the important somebody’s in New York. I gotta make it my mission to sleep with him. God, I bet he’s good in bed.” She says to herself.
I let out a laugh. “What story do you plan together by sleeping with him?”
“I want to know if the rumor is true, duh!” She laughs and lightly hits my shoulder.
We arrive at the venue. It’s large and the music is blaring. We step out of the car and I lean to Emma and say loudly so she can hear me over the music “The most powerful man in New York is gonna be here?” I laugh. “This doesn’t look like a scene you’d catch someone so important in.”
“Trust me, he’ll be here. Steph said so, and she’s always right!” Emma says back. She takes my hand and drags me through the line, showing the bouncer a VIP pass for both her and I. They let us in and Emma immediately drags me to the bar.
“Two vodka martinis!” She says to the bartender. The bartender nods and begins our drinks. I turn around to look at all the people dancing. Men in half dressed suits grinding on women in the shortest dresses. This is what Emma does every day? I understand the appeal, but the loud music and the flashing lights just aren’t for me.
We get our drinks and Emma takes me to a table to sit down at. “So what do we do now?” I ask.
“We mingle!” She shouts and raises her hands in the air.
The rest of the night that I can still remember was filled with drinking and Emma talking to numerous people, always asking about the guy who’s name I can no longer remember due to my copious consumption of alcohol. The last thing I remember was talking to a tall, handsome, dark haired man with beautiful light blue eyes.
~
I awake with a pounding headache. I raise my head from my pillow and slowly open my eyes, groaning from the pain. I look around and realize, this is not my bedroom. This is not Emma’s bedroom. I have no clue where I am. I scan the room and my eyes fall on a strange man sitting on the couch. I gasp and he looks up at me.
“Good, you’re awake. I was wondering if I’d have to drop you at the emergency room.” He laughs to himself.
I sit up fully in the bed. “Who are you? Where am I?” I ask frantically.
“My names Matt, and-“ I stop him
“Oh my god.”
“It’s fine just-“
“Oh god what happened?”
“Nothing, I-“
“I was drunk!”
“I know, that’s why I-“
“Tell me I didn’t. We didn’t.”
“Would you let me fucking speak?” He yells. “I didn’t fucking touch you, okay? You were dancing on a table and your friend had gone home with some guy so I got you a hotel room. You could barely stand and you just passed out on the bed.” He finishes with a huff.
I stare up at him in shock. “So we didn’t”
“No. We didn’t.” He pauses. “But we could.” He says with a smirk.
A blush appears on my cheeks and my breath shakes “What?” I ask
“Well you’re an attractive girl, I wouldn’t mind it.” He laughs. “But I have a meeting in an hour, so it’ll have to be another time. Want my number while you think about it?” He asks and before I can answer he hands me a card. “I got an Uber waiting for you whenever you’re ready to go home, it’s already paid for. Just do whatever you need to before you leave.” He says, clearly insisting I shower and eat. “And tell the driver where you need to go. Don’t forget to call, doll face.” He says before leaving and closing the door behind him.
I look down at the card he had handed me.
‘Matt Sturniolo.’ With an address and phone number.
Tags: @stargirlsturniololover (the one who came up with the idea for Mafia!Matt) @sturniolobessed
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yayakoishii · 4 months
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Fangs | Katakuri x Reader
Fandom: One Piece
Pairing: Charlotte Katakuri x GN! Reader
Word Count: 1.4k
Genre: Fluff?
Summary: You catch a glimpse of Katakuri's full face for the first time.
A/n: I finished Wholecake Island arc yesterday and I totally fell in love with Katakuri; I love honourable fighters, and especially ones with a sense of humour! So I wrote this in one sitting suddenly out of nowhere, lol. This fic is based on how I view him, so he might feel ooc to some, but I hope you still like and enjoy it ♡
also available on ao3!
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"Go give this to Katakuri-sama," your superior handed you his layered scarf. You were still new at your job of tending to the mansion of the Minister of Flour. Actually, you were new to Totto land in the first place, so you didn't even know anyone there very well. Still, you were determined to work hard and make sure you would belong and feel at home in this fascinating land.
"Yes, ma'am!" You carefully picked up the scarf and trotted towards Katakuri's room. You hummed to yourself as you walked, wondering why Katakuri was missing his scarf. You had never seen him without it.
Although you were new here, you felt happy that of all the places you could have been assigned to for work, it was in Katakuri's mansion. The second son of Big Mom was quiet, serious and diligent– but even without saying anything, he was also quite respectful and kind. Even though you were new, you liked working for him.
Everyone said he was the perfect man, someone who never relaxed and was undefeated. You could believe the latter two, but you wondered if he really was perfect. Everyone has some flaws. Maybe no one knew his. But, you felt that even if he was flawed, he would still be perfect because of how he treated you. Though he hadn't gone out of his way to make you feel welcome, you could feel the way he looked out for everyone. He was always supporting and protecting everyone by himself– and there was nothing more attractive than that, in your opinion.
Katakuri's door was open so you leaned in and knocked. "Katakuri-sama?"
The said man was standing in the middle of the room with an identical ruined scarf in his hands with his back to you. You waited for his response.
"Place it on the dresser and close the door before you go," his calm voice sent shivers down your back. It always gave you goosebumps for some reason, but they were the good kind. You said a quick yessir and waltzed in to place the scarf on the dresser. You were expected to do your job and leave but the part of you that had the smallest crush on the sweet commander got you looking into the mirror to catch a glimpse of him before you left.
To your shock, Katakuri was looking at you through the mirror too. Both of your eyes widened and you quickly turned around and bowed a full ninety degrees, crying, "Forgive me, Katakuri-sama! I wouldn't dare to meet your eye!"
There was silence for a few seconds. You stayed frozen, heart beating rapidly. You didn't know what would happen. No one had told you what to expect if you ever made a mistake like this. Was looking him in the eye, when he hadn't told you to, a crime enough to lose your life? You didn't know, but you hoped that he would be kind or even that he would ignore you.
Instead, you felt his long legs cross over to your side. You felt him loom over you to pick up the scarf you had placed and you waited with bated breath. It seemed like he was wearing the scarf you had brought in. Oh. Now that you had gotten over the panic, you realised that you had actually caught a glimpse of Katakuri's entire face for the first time.
"Rise."
He still sounded calm but you could feel the fear shaking you like a leaf. Katakuri was so much taller and stronger than you. He could snap you into two with the flick of his wrist probably. And while that usually was something you would find hot, today it was something that was sending cold sweat down your back. You followed his command, immediately straightening up and staring ahead. You could never meet his eye ever again.
"Look at me."
Great, you internally groaned. While that command would usually make you very happy, today it sounded like the announcement of your execution. Still shaking, you turned to face him and looked up in his eyes with unmistakable fear. You noted that he was wearing the scarf you had brought and it was covering up the sharp fangs you had seen before.
Why are you hiding your cool fangs, Katakuri-sama?
"You want to see my… teeth?" Katakuri sounded shocked. You startled, staring at him with wide eyes. Did he just read your mind?! No, no, this was probably the future seeing power of Katakuri. Which meant you were probably going to end up blurting your thought of wanting to see his cool fangs out.
"No, no, I wouldn't dare to ask that of you," you hurriedly said, clasping your hands close to your chest. Your body wouldn't stop shaking.
"Why do you tremble in fear if you find them…" Katakuri abruptly cut off, looking away from you. At his height, you couldn't see his scarf covered face properly but, you really did want to see his whole face again.
"I am not afraid of your teeth if that's what you were wondering about, Katakuri-sama," you admitted, fidgeting on the spot. "I am just afraid that I may have offended you by looking at you when it is expected of the servants to just do their job and leave."
"Why aren't you scared of my mouth?" He frowned. You blinked and looked him in the eye with more confidence.
"You have given me no reason to fear you, Katakuri-sama," you answered softly, giving him your warmest smile. The action only made his eyes wider. "And… they looked really cool. They suit you well, Katakuri-sama."
No one had ever said that to him. Although not many had seen his uncovered face, Katakuri still remembered what had happened the last time he had been open about it. His teeth were hideous and made him seem monstrous. So naturally, you should be afraid of him. You should find them ugly and be disgusted; and yet, you were standing in front of him, no longer shaking like a leaf, but instead giving him the warmest and loveliest smile he had ever seen. His usually unwavering heart skipped a beat at the sight.
"If, if you give me any punishment, I will accept it," you said, determined. "My only wish is to still be of service to you, if you would let me."
"No need," Katakuri said, looking away from you. For some reason, his cheeks felt unusually warm to himself. "Just make sure never to make any mention of this to anyone else."
"Yes, of course!" You bowed again, feeling relief washing over you. "I am eternally grateful to you, Katakuri-sama! I promise to never make any such mistake ever again. I would never dare to look at you."
"And if…" he hesitated for a second as he pulled down the scarf just slightly to reveal the tips of his biggest fangs. He ended up blurting the rest when he saw the adorable way you tilted your head in curiosity. "And if I want you to?"
You said his teeth were cool right? So, you would still like to see him even without the scarf, right? He was being risky here, showing you this vulnerable, flawed side of himself, but unusually, his heart seemed to trust in you.
"If you want me to," you blushed furiously, giving him a shy smile, "then I wouldn't dare look away."
Katakuri's heart skipped another beat. It really was acting so strange today.
"Can I say something, Katakuri-sama?" You seemed hesitant to say it. Was it something offensive? Had you perhaps changed your mind? Steeling himself to hear it, he opened his mouth to say yes and saw a flash of what you were about to say.
You are really quite handsome, Katakuri-sama.
He froze, mouth slightly opened to utter an affirmation that never came. You were still staring at him nervously, wringing your hands. His cheeks felt even warmer as the seconds trickled by. Then, he cleared his throat and turned away from you so you wouldn't see the way his face was starting to match his hair.
"Perhaps another time."
It was a dismissal and he watched you leave his room. You closed the door behind you, and Katakuri felt his heart collapse into his stomach.
What was this strange fluttering feeling in his chest?
°•❀•°
All likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated ♡
a/n: I wanna write more for Katakuri so if you have any cute ideas, send them my way! requests are open hehe~
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taki-yaki · 7 months
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Batstarion A!Astarion + S!Astarion Headcanons
Pairing: A!Astarion/S!Astarion x GN!Reader/Tav/Durge
This one took a while to write up, but I did learn some interesting facts about vampire bats and tried to apply them here.
**Spawn Astarion**
After the defeat of Cazador, Astarion soon discovered a book within the palace, which contained the skills of vampire spawns that his master never wanted him to know about.
One of these skills was to turn into a creature of the night, this quickly intrigued Astarion, causing him to try and master the spell. He even tries practising wild shape methods taught to him by Halsin.
This takes a while for him to master, night after night spent trying to improve his skills with no transformation in sight. One night, nearly at his wits end with trying to master it, you speak,
“Maybe it’s a phrase you have to shout, try yelling bat, maybe that would work?”
“Darling, I don’t think it’s going to be as simple as saying the word bat-”.
Suddenly,  who was once standing in place of Astarion, now lay a small white ball of fluff with wings.
You are greeted by happy chirps and squeaks, quickly turning into a chorus of angry squeaks. One drink of speak to animals potion unravels what he is saying.
“I can’t turn back, darling do something, I don’t want to be stuck looking like a rat!” he huffed.
“Try and relax, it might wear off?”
“How can I relax like this, I don’t even have arms!”
Softly touching the white curly on his head, with the lightest tip of your finger, the pale bat relaxes instantly within the palm of your hand, almost purring at your touch.
Suddenly, the weight shifted from your hands, causing you to drop the bat onto the ground, only for Astarion to shift back into his humanoid form.
Checking to see if he’s fine, you are greeted by light snoring coming from him, seemingly collapsed from exhaustion, the transformation takes on him. Over time, he learns how to master turning into a bat with ease, allowing him to require shorter rests after turning back.
Of course, with him being at such a small size, it makes travelling together simple from keeping him under a robe to shade him from the sun and his light weight. When shopping at local markets, he’ll take advantage of merchants fawning over how cute he is, giving you discounts on your produce, without being aware that he’s a blood-sucking vampire spawn under that white fluff.
“I do wish they gave us something more savoury and juicy for free” grumbling to himself.
“And miss out on all the other goods we get?”
“Hmmm…fair enough, but don’t be surprised if ask for extra tonight” responding with a smirk.
He would adore all the attention you give him in this form, from soft pets on his head to just relaxing with you at such a small size. At Wither’s reunion party, he would show it off to others about it any chance he gets, as his special party trick, beaming the whole way through. Although he would have to deal with the hangover afterwards from shifting constantly the next morning.
Additionally, if you can fly, whether that is by being a druid who can wild shape, to a draconic sorcerer who has gained their wings, you both have fun flying around together at night.
**Ascended Astarion**
For A!Astarion, transforming into a bat is as easy as a wizard casting a cantrip, simple and quick with no downsides.
A!Astarion wouldn’t be one to showcase his ability to shift into a bat at his grand masquerade parties, mainly for fear of being seen as a weak simple creature. Although he would use it to stealthily eves drop on others from the cover of the shadows.
After he’s fed you enough of his blood, if you are his spawn, he’ll teach you how to turn into a bat. In your bat form, he’ll fuss over you more, being more protective of you in this form, as if your body is a prized porcelain vase. Some of the servants just presume you're another bat he’s caring for out of the thousands in the palace.
Carrying you around in his shirt pocket to always gaze at you, whether he’s signing contracts to talking with nobles from other cities, he would be their watching over you, closer to his undead heart than ever before.
Eventually, after a while, he would teach you how to fully fly and would only allow you to fly out at night, only if he was there to keep watch over you. Whilst transformed into your bat forms, he would develop the habits of bats from trying to constantly groom your coat, by cleaning each other’s fur, despite your protests at times and sharing food with you by regurgitating blood as a gift to you.
Compared to the rare moments he is the one in bat form, he would only allow you to pet him, usually in private away from prying eyes, insisting that he has a reputation to uphold.
“Pet, I am all for you adoring me, but we mustn't tell others of this, I have an image to uphold after all”.
He would also experiment with applying some elements of his bat form to his humanoid form, such as shifting his arms to be bat wings, usually as an intimidation tactic, or to show off during his extravagant ball dance parties with you, by lifting you into the air with him.
When you carry him around in his bat form, he would try to nip you more often, unprompted over any small inconvenience. 
Not paying full attention to him? Bite,
Talking to someone other than him? Bite,
Just bored with nothing else to do? Bite.
But if you attempt the same thing to him when you're in bat form? He would laugh, calling you a “Cheeky little pup”.
However, if you keep trying to nip him, he will eventually gently order you to stop and ensure he’ll get his payback later in the day, still being petty about it.
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mannaima · 2 years
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My Best Friend Joel (part three)
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Sorry for making you all wait so long! I decided this is the second to last installment in the best friend series, the last one being much longer as it’s gonna cover a longer timeline. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy it!!!!
(part 1) (part 2)
Summary: Joel decides to hide the fact you’re pregnant, until he can’t anymore.
Word count: 2.5K (yes short i know)
Warnings: NSFW (p in v), dub-con turned consensual, breeding, joel being a scumbag, pregnancy, babytrapping(????)(small) mentions of vomit, manipulation, happy endings tho.
Joel didn’t get much sleep that night. Not like he did anyways, but his thoughts tonight were clouded with ideas of what to do about this predicament. But one thought made him shiver with guilt.
He wanted to leave.
Joel felt immense guilt with the thought, sure, he knew he was far from a good man, but even that was a low for him. But his stomach swelled in pain at the thought of another child, he couldn’t even think of children ever since Sarah. But the act was already done, there was no denying that you would be pregnant, although there's a chance you might, he had to think of the worst here. He tossed and turned, trying not to wake you, but he clenched his eyes at every possible way of this working out. You were none the wiser, sleeping so soundly, as if your body wasn’t currently in the stage of making the new child you two shared. Joel sighed, and as the morning sun crept through the windows, he had only one thought on his mind.
He just wasn’t gonna tell you.
----------
You woke up, eyes adjusting to the room filled with light, and your best friend held you in his large arms. You noticed he was already awake, eyes half shut in tiredness, and he had bags under his eyes. You tilted your head.
“Good morning Joel!” You were excited, he only glanced at you, not even a usual smirk. “Are you okay? Did you get any sleep?” You were much quieter, fearing he wasn’t in a good mood.
“Morning, sugar, I slept fine.” Lie. “Just a little tired.” Lie. Lie. Lie.
“Oh, okay.” You snuggled closer to him, head resting against his warm body, he seemed to tense around you a little. Internally, you felt the awkwardness. You were hurt, but you kept quiet.
“Do you want me to make you breakfast?” You gave him a small smile, and he glanced at you before staring at the wall once more.
“That’d be nice.” Blunt answer, but a much better answer than ‘no’. You giggled and pushed the blankets back, sitting up and climbing over Joel, making sure not to accidentally crush his arms with your knees. You stood up, and immediately felt a feeling of something droop out of your pussy. Confused, you stood still, but then the memories of last night flooded back, which made you grin a little. You walked to the kitchen, unaware of how Joel stared at you, your pretty ass out on display, only a cute pair of panties covering your lower half. Aided with morning wood, Joel’s cock became incredibly hard, despite his brain shunning him for still feeling horny knowing he knocked you up.
“Do ya want french toast?” He looked at your face now, eyes moving up from your ass. You looked so pretty in nothing but a shirt. Joel nodded. You turned back around to fix the breakfast. 
Joel felt so conflicted, on one hand, it was bound to happen eventually, he was going to meet another woman, the right one this time. Though it was a new kid, it would never replace Sarah, and the child wasn’t meant to. On the other hand, he felt immense fear that something would happen to the child. This world was no place for youth, the child would never be normal growing up in a world like this, but what choice did he have? The baby was gonna come regardless, would he rather the child to a loving mother and father, or to a single mother out on the streets.
He had to deal with it.
He stood up, wearing nothing but boxers, making him shiver at the cold air. He walked over to you, and wrapped his hands around your body, his back hunched over so he could rest his head on your shoulder. His cock was pressed up against your back, but he didn’t care, he just wanted to feel your warm body.
“Oh Joel…” There was a hint of sadness in your voice, but he had no clue why. Despite his brain begging him to ask you what’s wrong, he just buried his face in your neck, giving you small kisses.
You felt his cock, it made your lower regions warm up, fluttering almost. You continued to make the batter and heat up the stove, Joel clinging to you tightly. His hardness not going down, you felt distracted, accidentally spilling a small amount of batter. You kept apologizing but Joel just rubbed your hips with his rough hands, you jumped at his cold hands against your cold skin as he reached under your shirt.
“You cold baby?” His hands rubbed around your stomach before slowly leading up to your breasts, where he squeezed them tightly. You whimpered and stuttered before nodding your head, to which he began pinching your nipples.
“I think I’m hungry for something else right now, sweetie.” Joel began to kiss your neck, his tongue licking up it slowly, you let out a soft moan, making him smirk upon your skin. 
“D-Do you wanna have… S-Sex?”
“I think I made it pretty clear I do.”
“R-Right. Sorry.” You felt stupid for asking, wondering if it made you look stupid to him. He either didn’t care or was too horny to care, because he kept rubbing his cock against your back while kissing your neck, the breakfast long forgotten at this point. You arched your back at his touch, feeling so sensitive from the night before, your pussy fluttering at his hands. He finally removed his hands from your chest and brought them down to your lower half, his fingers poking under the fabric in order to pull them down, and he slowly brought them down. You felt the cold air, but he didn’t wait much longer before wrapping an arm around your body while also pushing your front half against the counter, making you bend over for him. You gasped at the sudden movement, but it was short-lived as his cock was now rubbing against your entrance.
“W-wait Joel-” A loud moan escaped your lips as his cock was now pushing through, your only source of lube was his cum from the night before and the small amount of wetness you had. You weren’t at all prepared for him, but he didn’t care and kept pushing.
“J-Joel. Hurts-” He kept pushing, making you groan out in pain, his hand coming up to your lips.
“Shhhh.” No words of reassurance, just shushing you to make you stop whimpering in pain. You couldn’t help it though, your walls were being stretched to their limit by his fat cock, and he wasn’t even inside you all the way yet. You kept trying to squirm out of his hold, but his grip on you was too strong, and he finally pushed you against his body, his entire cock inside you now. You groaned out, loudly, making him pull his cock back, and slam into you once more. The kindness he showed you last night was no more, as he continued to mercilessly ram inside you. You felt your face heat up as your lower half experienced immense pain, you didn’t know what to do. He just felt so much bigger than before, maybe you were doing something wrong? It hurt the first time too, but he stopped a while for you to get used to it, but he just kept abusing your hole.
“Joel please.” You pleaded for him to slow down, and he did, for a second. He slipped his cock out of you and turned you around, now facing him. Your back was pushed against the counter as he lifted you there, bottom half hanging off. You got a few seconds of relief before his cock was pushed back into you, head leaning back as you whimpered. His hands held on to your hips as he fucked you again and again. Joel forced your legs to wrap around his waist, effectively allowing him to thrust into you better. You felt the pain slowly go away, but far too slow for your liking. Joel’s groans mixed with your moans of pain and slight pleasure, his hands rubbing against your warm skin, eyes fixated on your body.
You got a good look at him in the sunlight peeking through the curtains, now able to see his body. Peppered hair covered his chest, not too much hair though. His body was definitely toned, especially for his age, and his chest glistened with small amounts of sweat. His face stared down at you with an incredible amount of enamoration, eyes boring into yours, his mouth parted slightly to let out breaths. You looked down his body to see the way his cock disappeared into your cunt, it was arousing to say the least. The mess of hair that covered right above his cock and the way his happy trail led down from his belly button. You couldn’t get enough of his body, and it seems he felt the same about you.
“You’re so fucking beautiful, angel.” He said, deep voiced slightly strained as he continued to fuck you.
“You too J-” You were cut off by the movement of his hands around your ankles. He lifted your legs up and positioned them on his shoulders, allowing him much deeper access in your pussy. Your breathy moans pushed him over the edge, he couldn’t get enough of the way your bare breasts bounced around, or the look you gave with your eyebrows arched in pleasure, lips wet with saliva as you gave into the pleasure. He couldn’t handle it anymore, his head reeling back as he gave a few more sloppy thrusts and groaned, cumming inside of you. You felt the warm cum seep inside you, Joel letting out small ‘fuck’s and ‘goddamn’s. After about twenty seconds of pure bliss on Joel’s end, he finally pulled out of you, cock soft now, and a large clump of his cum dripping out of you. Joel quickly plunged his middle and ring finger inside you, pushing the cum back inside you. He fingered you, his hand pushing the hair away from your forehead and kissing it, making you smile through the pleasure of his fingers. He smiled back.
----------
You had stayed with Joel, your relationship was never really defined, but it was safe to say you two were a couple. Joel would obviously leave to go to work, which is something you were accustomed to. But Joel left you the privilege of leaving the apartment whenever you wanted, but you preferred when Joel was by your side. You spent the days watching the people, reading books, and even drawing pictures while Joel was away.
When Joel came back, you both liked to do “adult stuff.”
He fucked you every day after work or before you both slept. He couldn’t get enough of you, every time he saw you, he had this uncontrollable urge to just fuck the shit out of you.
And every single time, he came inside you.
He felt guilty, of course, but not guilty enough to tell you what happens when a man cums inside a woman. No, he figured he could delay it until there were physical changes, he liked you this way. It was sick of him, he knew he was a bastard for what he was doing, but he liked seeing your fucked out face while cum drooled out of your pussy. He liked you not knowing that you were going to be carrying his babies, of course he’d tell you when you’d eventually noticed the weight gain, lack of period, and giant stomach. But Joel wanted to see how long you could stay oblivious.
----------
“Joel, do I look… Fatter to you?” There you stood, in front of the mirror, wearing nothing but a pair of panties. You had turned to the side and were staring at your stomach.
“What do ya’ mean?” Joel knew exactly what you meant.
“I just look… More round. Just my stomach though.” You felt around your stomach, squeezing it a little.
“But it’s not soft like fat. It’s kind of hard?” You knocked on it jokingly, giggling slightly.
“I don’t see a difference, baby.” It was easy for him to lie, he avoided your eye contact though. 
“Oh well, I’m probably just seeing things.” You went on your tippy toes and puckered out your lips, signaling him to kiss you, which he did.
He watched you walk into the kitchen, still topless, and pull out some rations. He couldn’t help but notice how big your breasts have gotten, wondering how you didn’t notice. He wanted to suck on them, hoping milk would come out already. Fantasizing about your body, you quickly snapped him out of his little world as he noticed you running to the sink.
“Oh fuck-” You had little time before you started vomiting in the sink, coughing in between gags. Fuck. Joel’s mind raced, this was getting too far, he had to tell you. You let out the contents in your stomach while Joel just watched, but his dumb brain finally realized he should be helping you. Scrambling to run to you, he held your hair back as you continued. He reassured you that you were fine, that it was just some morning sickness. As you finally felt better and washed your mouth and the sink, Joel felt a small amount of guilt now that he saw your sick face. Fuck. He had to tell you now.
“Darling there's something we need to talk about. Come with me.” He led you to the bedroom and sat you next to him, hand gripping yours tightly.
“What is it Joel?” He sighed, and rubbed your hand with his fingers.
“Well. The reason your stomach is a bit bigger, and why you have some sickness is because. You’re pregnant. You’re gonna be a momma.” You stared at him, confusion plastered on your face, head slightly tilted.
“How?” Joel sighed again, now realizing you were gonna be upset with him.
“When we have sex. When a man cums inside a woman, the white stuff that comes out of me, it makes a baby when it mixes with your parts.” Your eyes widened a bit. You touched your stomach.
“So… You were making babies with me?” Joel nodded, half expecting you to hit or scream at him. But you just kept touching your small baby bump.
“So you mean. I’m gonna be a mommy? And, are you the daddy?” There was a small glimmer in your eyes as you started to grow a smile.
“Yes baby.” Joel gave you a small smile before being pushed down by you, face smushed up against his own. You kept giving him sloppy kisses, laughing in between smooches. Joel didn’t know you’d be this happy, he thought you’d be upset with unknowingly getting pregnant, but he let that thought linger as he kept his hands on your hips, kissing you back with a breathy laugh.
You two were going to be parents. 
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nayatarot777 · 1 year
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{what do they find attractive about you?} • pac
pick a cher pic 🫶🏾
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• pile one •
cards:
6 of swords
king of wands
the tower
3 of swords
the first thing that their higher self is coming through to mention is your voice. they find it extremely soothing, “like a brain massage” i’m hearing 😂. they also like how you seem to be able to find your way to peace and balance - especially mentally. i’m hearing “you seem to be so far ahead”. perhaps you’re achieving things in your life that most people your age haven’t yet. or you carry the demeanour of someone who has achieved a certain level of success. they find your forward-thinking nature extremely attractive. some of you have been around children around this person too, and they love how protective you are over young people. i’m seeing that they find it attractive when you soothe a child, or when you know what to say or do to calm a baby. that’s cute ☺️. in contrast, your assertiveness also does something to them. they like feeling lead by you. there’s also something flamboyant about you - if not your fashion sense then something about your personality. you seem to gain attention without even trying like that. i’m hearing “i want what i want”. when you demand things from them, it gets them a lil hot and bothered 👀😂 they feel like you don’t take a “no” from anyone very easily, and they love how you can trail-blaze through life and get what you want. there’s also something about your hair that attracts attention too. it could be big, fluffy, an afro, or a striking colour (like red). you just naturally stand out and they love it. you could have gained all of this assertiveness due to some really fucked up things happening in your life. you had to gain your strength and independence for yourself through so much pain and so many traumatic events. but your person admires how you’ve transformed your pain into power.
• pile two •
cards:
3 of wands
death
king of wands
this person finds your ambition to be one of your most attractive traits. you could be the type of person who’s constantly moving onto the next opportunity in your life, or taking risks and chances for the sake of self development. if you wear any headscarves or head-wraps, that’s also attractive to this person. and also if you have ginger hair. i’m hearing that it’s because these things aren’t commonly seen by this person. you guys could be from different races, cultures, or ethnicities to each other. i’m also seeing that whenever you want to do anything new and you take baby-steps towards learning something (like a skill), they enjoy seeing the way that you handle the process. and it seems like you naturally attract a lot of opportunities into your life for yourself too. i’m hearing “go getter”. they also love how multifaceted you are. they realise that they discover new layers of you every-time they see you or speak to you. they notice something different. they might also know about some really heavy transformations that you had to go through, and how you had to reinvent yourself. there’s also a message about knowing how to leave something that’s stagnant behind you for the sake of moving forward. it also seems like you’re very intense. they like how you’re not afraid to go deep, peel back layers to people’s personalities by asking questions - even if they sound a bit invasive at times. or you could do this with them in particular. you seem very bold and courageous. like you don’t really hold much fear in your decisions to dive deep with people or things. you also have a lot of self-confidence. this person might be able to tell that you’ve had to climb out of the gutter to become the person who you are today, and it wasn’t easy. therefore, you have a level of pride within yourself. that may be the thing that they’re not used to seeing in people. and they really like it, although it is triggering to them because it makes their ego feel threatened. it makes them recognise things about themselves that they never did before.
• pile three •
cards:
judgement
10 of swords
the hierophant
your person loves how much knowledge you have. you could be well-learned or well-cultured. just aware of what’s going on in the world, and they find your intelligence extremely attractive. especially related to anything about philosophy or spirituality. anything related to the expansion of the human mind. this could be an interest in psychology too. i’m also seeing your pleasure-seeking being extremely attractive to them. you guys give me sagittarius/jupiter energy. they feel like the way that you seek to create and mould your life into what you want it to be is extremely attractive. it’s like you’re constantly on journeys where you discover new layers of life, and when you share that with them and expand their mind, they can’t help but feel a type of way 😂. your person may have also seen you become aware of people who wanted to backstab you, or people who gossiped about you behind your back. there’s something about your intelligence related to being able to see other people’s negative intentions and betrayals as clearly as possible. also when you shut down a conversation with your knowledge or what you know. they live for that lmaoo. a lot of you are also very much in control of your life. you’re your own authority and you could reject a lot of the traditional responsibilities of life that society tries to push onto all of us. a lot of you in this pile also talk a lot about the beliefs that you hold in which the government is secretly trying to “harm” us - to put it lightly 🙃 - and your person finds that extremely fascinating. it’s like you can see above the conditionings and surface-level explanations for things that are presented to society. you’re definitely a free-thinker.
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ilyuu-archive · 1 year
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stinging waterfalls.
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ft. alhaitham, bennett, ganyu, kaveh, kazuha, scaramouche & xiao.
tags : hurt/comfort, fluff, established relationships, very self-indulgent, crying, they’re all so soft your honor, ooc mayhaps, no proofread, bits of angst (kaveh, xiao), lmk if i missed anything else!
a/n : teehee i’m not doing so well :D
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alhaitham.
the moment he sees you, the book in his hand snaps to a crisp close. the couch and cushions underneath him crinkle as alhaitham stands, and it takes but a few strides for him to make his way over to you - his arm stretched out, and when it just barely grazes your hair, you fell into his arms on your own volition. he stiffens, albeit a bit used to your touch, and softens for your sake when he feels your body shivers along his.
he doesn’t ask why; there’s little to no meaning to try to ask for something that’ll in no way benefit either person, especially you. the silence, along with the gentle crackle of a candle nearby, your stuttered sobs, and the faint rustling of your clothes as his hand rubs your back in smooth, small motions, is enough for you.
more than enough with him near. you take in a breath and find yourself breathing in his scent - heavy on cedar, mint, parchments and so. it’s his scent; it’s comfortable, familiar. it’s nice.
bennett.
a look of panic is one and the only look you’re able to pinpoint on him through your eyes, albeit misty, burning like fire alike. bennett stumbles on his own feet trying to reach to you, and holds your cheeks in the palm of his hands almost a bit too harshly, to which he profusely spews apologies as if there’s no tomorrow, as if the sun will never wake up.
it might as well never, not with the way that you tightly hold onto the back of his hands with yours, nails biting into his skin. he doesn’t even mind the ache, another numb jolt of pain that he’s accustomed to, and more so for you. he himself almost seems to be biting back his own tears.
he tries to wipe away yours with the pad of his thumbs, drifting over the edges of your eyes as his hands cups your face. you try to wear a smile for his skin, and it’s half apologetic, half grateful, and he finds himself mirroring the same look - quiet chuckles is shared between the space you two share.
ganyu.
she’s hesitating, her hands hovering over you, every part of you, not sure what to do, say - ganyu doesn’t want to make you as fragile as you already are. she feels your whimpers wrack along your body, trembling; it’ll take a bit until you can calm down.
her hand softly rested on the side of your head, slowly, tentatively, and guided you to rest on her shoulder. her other hand held one of yours, fingers locked and tight, although trembling - neither of you two knows where it starts or ends. the cold draft of air that came from her hands, both on yours and atop of your head, cooled you from the uncomfortable heat overwhelming your chest.
you turned your head slightly into hers, nestled in the nook of her neck, and although she finds herself a bit flustered, now acknowledging how close you two are, it’s more than something she’ll do for you if it means bringing any means of comfort to you. even as small as it is.
kaveh.
there’s little to no air your chest, your lungs. not with the way kaveh holds onto you, arms locked around your waist, space nonexistent between the two of you as you can feel his heartbeat as much as hear your own chiming on and on in your ears.
you can feel locks of his sun-kissed hair graze along your skin, and it brings in some sort of warmth to you, the nice kind, as you try and smoothen the shiver in your breath, trembling every time you try and take one in and let it go. his hands clutched onto your back, and it’s since then that you start to feel him quivering as well.
his body caves into you, taking in all of you that he can and he still feels as though that’s enough. you can hear his thoughts, you can hear them as your own wishing to take your fears, thoughts, worries as his own, although he has enough for him in life in and of itself.
and so, you pecked the corner of his eye - salt is all you taste, the bitterness of his feelings coalesced with his tears. you feel him subtly jolt, a shiver slithering through his spine. he leans off of you, and seeing the slight light in your eyes, the wet chuckle that pushes itself out of your lips only wants him to settle a kiss of his own to reach of the corners of your eyes.
kazuha.
he doesn’t let you lift even a finger as kazuha wipes away your tears, leaving the tips of his fingers a bit moist, as he sits up at the edge of the bed to try and make you a cup of tea, to try and settle you back in a stage of tranquility and familiarity.
tenderly resting you against the sheets of the bed once more, he takes your hand in his, yours clasped together in an attempt to try and calm yourself, and intertwines them. there is every bit of airy softness to it, skin against skin, and with how cool his is, coaxes you into a simpler stage of mind.
“please,” he presses his lips against your fingers, each and every one of them doted with a bit more affection than the last. “your feelings… are valid. no one, not even yourself, is able to say otherwise.”
“it is alright to feel this way, [name]. it is alright to feel as if the world is ending, to feel that there is nothing left for you to do… as long as you are with someone you understand, and i shall keep that spot occupied for whenever you want me to.”
scaramouche.
his hands covered your eyes, and a world of darkness, an dim illusion, is all you see for a few minutes. your hands rested atop of his, fingers trying to pry them off of you - he simply doesn’t budge. scara settles his head atop of yours, just close enough that he can feel how you’re quivering against him, a jolt here and there, a hiccup, and with each second, he caves in further around you.
a force a bit too brittle to be one to reckon with loosened, and he feels you rest your head on his shoulder as you lean a bit back. a sigh he didn’t even know he was holding was let loose from how much you melted into him… vulnerable, fragile in every way, as much as you didn’t want to admit it.
there’s nothing much he can do for you other than act as a presence, and, once in a while, whisper quiet reassurances into the shell of your ear, echoing out the very things he’s always, through thick and thin, kept close to his heart and true.
xiao.
dripping fear is all he feels as his fingers twitches, not an inch near you - to touch you, to tend to you, to somehow make you feel better. xiao ends up combing your hair, awkward, small strokes, and yet, he sees you subtly melting into his touch here and there as he brushes your scalp.
you can barely catch a breath of air, shallow takes of breath choking you, tight in your throat, before he placed a small peck on your temple. you froze. he did it again, only at your other temple. tepidness seeps its way into your skin, and makes the world around the two of you feel… lighter, airy.
“…you’re alright,” he murmurs, and his words don’t seem to carry its usual weight to it. “i am right here, [name]. whenever you are in need of me, speak my name. do not hesitate.”
“…at the very least, whenever it concerns matters as this. i’d… prefer… to be there. for you.”
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general taglist (open!) : @starz222, @haliyamori, @kazumist, @mikacynth, @angelkazusstuff, @doumalove, @kpop-and-otome, @emo-mess, @khasmies, @auroratumbles, @mastering-procrastinating, @qqingxin . . .
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