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strwberrytae · 4 years ago

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So Long, Farewell, and Goodbye For Now -

“I don’t know how you are so familiar to me—or why it feels less like I am getting to know you and more as though I am remembering who you are. How every smile, every whisper brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that I have known you before, I have loved you before—in another time, a different place, some other existence.” - Lang Leav

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Hello, You ♡ Yes, You. You ethereal, beautiful being. I am writing to you with bittersweet yet wonderful news - depending on the perspective. I am writing this post to inform all of you that I will no longer be writing for this blog for the foreseeable future. What I mean by that is that I am not giving up writing forever, no. But my life has changed so much over the last two years, I do not see myself writing again for quite some time. But don’t worry! I will be back!

Below the Read More section, I have poured my heart and soul into the real reasons why I’ve made this decision. I warn you, it’s lengthy but it’s everything that has led up to this over the years. So, if you fancy, have a read. If not, I bid you farewell and wish you all the happiness in the world. Thank you for supporting me so far. I truly appreciate it and love you all very dearly. Now, if you wish to read it at a later time, I will have a link available on my page at all times for anyone who is curious. It’s a hell of a story if you ask me ~

Edit: Made by Me - also, a surprise photo at the end Warnings/Triggers: Talks of emotional abuse, depression, and suicide but also happiness and love -

When I first started this blog, it was 2016. I had been on Tumblr for over a decade now but BTS led me to writing passionately for 2 years. I was incredibly active and utterly consumed by this website. Not just for the writing, but I was so obsessed because of my friends and mutuals that I made along the way. Can I just say that I’ve met some incredible people on this platform - including my best friend and soulmate? Truthfully, the absolute best friend I have ever had. But more importantly, Tumblr was my greatest escape. I mean this website truly has been my saving grace through very dark times.

In that part of my life, I was in an extremely toxic relationship; by then, it was 6 years I was with him. He was emotionally abusive, had such a short-fuse temper, hated everyone I knew which led me never really seeing any of my friends after college, knew I was anorexic and did nothing to stop me, knew I had depression since we started dating and always argued it as if it wasn’t real, crushed my dreams and ambitions, mocked potential suicide attempts, expected me to just abandon all hope to ever leave home to explore someplace new or get a job that I actually love. He was...just the worst. Never hit me though, so I’m grateful for that. But sometimes I wish he would so it would have given me the voice I needed to get out of that relationship much sooner than I did. But regardless, because of him plus having a soul-sucking job that wore me down to the core, Tumblr was my escape. BTS was my escape.

I fell hard and I fell deep. I created a fantasy world within this world. All of my dreams, fantasies, desires, and hopes were poured into my writing. My imagination was running wild. My activity was through the roof because I was always on here day in and out, just pretending like the outside world didn’t exist. It consumed me...but I needed it. Looking back, it was pretty excessive. At the time, I seemed perfectly normal because everyone else was just as active and saying the same things and doing the same things. I felt a belonging, like I fit in.

But I hated the person I became. It took me getting yelled at, mocked, ridiculed, and belittled by my ex to snap me out of that illusion I built and back into reality. That was the roughest night that we had filled with lots of screaming on his end and crying on my part. He thought my obsession was sick. He thought it was disgusting. It all started because he found fake texts I had made with Jimin and Tae. Don’t recall the story it was a part of but he thought they were texts with the actual members… In my eyes, I should get credit for making them look so legit but he didn’t see it that way. He thought fangirling over men was essentially cheating. No matter how hard I tried to explain, he didn’t understand. But a part of his view was right. I learned that I was a bit too much into it and I really needed to take a step back from Tumblr for a while. So I did. I deactivated my account and disappeared for months. Also because he made me and threatened our relationship if I didn’t. Should have taken the out but ah well.

Just two months prior to this incident, I attempted suicide. Well, contemplated. Everything was planned out. Bought a hotel room for Thanksgiving night as I was working a super late shift until about 1-2am. My commute home was an hour long and I still had to come back to work at 7am. So I got a room. Brought a large amount of pills with me and I was going to call it. No notes written to friends, family, or loved ones. Nothing. I was done. Didn’t think anyone would miss me. I just figured the world would keep turning without me. I had thought about doing this several times before but this was my first time making plans for it. It was my lowest of the low. But then I met someone that night that changed my life entirely just in a 10 minute interaction of talking - nothing special. We’ll get to that later. But this person just gave me hope and to this day, I still can’t explain it. It was euphoric. I felt clarity. It was in that night that I thought I might hold out just a little bit longer.

And thus @strwberrytae was born - but it was far from the same. At first, I restarted the blog in secret. Why would I do this? Why would a 25 year old open a blog in secret? Well, two months after the awful fight, my ex proposed to me and I said yes. I know. Believe me, I know. I was scared. My depression was getting worse again. I no longer had an escape except for books. All I did was read so I had some sort of reality to be in besides my own. But returning to a brand new blog did not give the same satisfaction as returning to an old blog.

I worked so hard on my first blog and this redo, I tried to consider it as a gift. Perhaps this was a chance to start anew and rebrand myself. This optimism kept up for quite some time. Slowly, I added my favorite past works then added some new chapters. If you’ve been here with me since 2017, you would know that my appearance on Tumblr was still not the same. Then I got married in October.

An empty, loveless marriage that I regret to this day. Needless to say, my writing and activity on Tumblr was still practically non-existent as I was still too scared of getting caught. Even though he finally gave me permission to use it again because he could tell how miserable it was making me. Yes, gave me permission. Thankfully, it all ended after a year. I finally went to a therapist even though I hated them so much and all past therapists I had. She was pretty great. Within five sessions, I summoned the courage to break up with this guy. I was finally set free. Nearly 9 years together and I finally felt like I could breathe.

Unfortunately, although I was free, I had to live with the guy for about 5 months after the breakup. Which was beyond rough, believe me. Imagine someone writhing in pain and bawling their eyes out and venting non-stop about all of their faults and wrongdoings every single day. At the end of the day, as shitty as he was to me, he was my best friend too. We went through a lot of shit together and he did have some good sides to him too. So witnessing this was horrendous. Needless to say, I wasn’t getting much privacy either. Writing was not my top priority. Now it’s 2019 and things changed drastically for the better - and worst.

Remember the person I met in 2016 on Thanksgiving night? Well, that person is someone I crushed on every since that night. For 2 years. People, I’m telling you. He did absolutely nothing special that night. He didn’t flirt with me. He didn’t check me out. He didn’t do anything remotely to make a girl swoon but I was so drawn to him. The only word that could describe it was “cosmic” - beautifully cosmic.

Well in January 2019, 2 months following my break up, he came into my store one day. And my god did he look incredible. He was dressed head to toe in black - a fitted black suit at that. He even wore this long, designer jacket to match. Hair shaved on the sides with beautiful, thick dark hair on top. So tall - 182cm. A smile that could kill; quite literally. The canines are on point. He looked like a five course meal. That day, he definitely flirted with me. By the end of the week, we had our first date. Sadly, I also lost my job in the same week and was unemployed for a year because no one would hire me. I was laid off and one of my seniors took my job. Of course, they needed to keep me around for the holidays and then give me the boot. I was devastated. I hated that job so much as it only aided in fueling my depression but losing it was definitely an amazing thing. And! I survived on my savings and definitely didn’t spend my time writing. I had life to sort out last year - like from the ground up. No worries though. I got a job in February 2020 and I love it, so it’s all good, baby. Now I’m in the health field and feel like I’m actually helping people, which I love.

Now, here we are 2 years later and I’m engaged to the man. Someone who makes me smile everyday, believes in me, encourages me, let’s me be 100% myself, travels with me, taught me how to love myself, taught me to accept my body, gets me on a level that only my best friend could, and someone who goes above and beyond every single day to show me how much he loves me. Bonus, he welcomes my love for BTS with open arms, reads my writing, AND has even been sucked in himself to the fandom. Jungkook and Jimin, look out. You got another fanboy. I thought true love was impossible for me but I was very, very wrong.

He has shown me that I can be happy and I have finally experienced true happiness. When people ask how I’m doing, I don’t cringe and lie through my teeth. I smile and say that I am doing well because by George, I am. Everyone around me has seen me over the last two years and made the comment, “you look so much happier”. They meet him and swoon just as much as I do. Is he perfect? No, he’s not. He has flaws just like everyone else but he actually grows and learns from his mistakes to better himself. That’s what amazes me the most. Even if we argue, which is seldom, he refuses to let it go without resolution so we can always fix whatever the issue is. As we like to call it, we’re in-sync. In everything, we’re always so in-sync. I’m wildly in love, my dudes.

So, why am I not writing anymore? To put it simply, I’m happy and don’t really feel the desire to write anymore - at least not fanfiction. Even when I was super young, like elementary school, I used writing as an outlet for my dark escape. I wrote poetry primarily and by middle school, it turned to fanfiction for Supernatural, Simple Plan, and Panic! At The Disco. Along with a very long list of other bands and shows but anyways. I’ve been severely depressed since I was 15 and fanfiction put me in this hole that I couldn’t get out of. I relied on this method to help me get through all the bad shit I was dealing with. It was my coping mechanism.

Now? While depression never truly goes away as the lovely disease that it is, I am genuinely happy. Because of this, when I opened all of my past works and works in progress, I felt nothing but guilt. Guilt for not keeping up with my chapters or keeping my account active. I felt dread to have to escape in this world that I had created. I felt no joy or excitement. It was the strangest feeling that happened all in a matter of seconds. Thus leading to my final decision to take a step away from writing. Do I still love it? Absolutely. But now I think I’m going to re-route and focus my writing on what I love - reality. I’m going to get back into journaling and write essays about love and beauty as I’ve always loved to do. But for escaping into a fantasy world? I don’t know when I’ll be back.

Now I know what you’re thinking. “But you can write and be happy!” Nah fam. Writing has been my aid through dark times and now I mostly associate it with those dark times. And for once in my life, I feel this desire to enjoy reality and remain in it - with the exception of journaling here and there. Even daydreaming is difficult. It’s strange. I love my reality. This sounds like gloating now but it’s truly a remarkable feeling. When you’ve been battling depression for 15 years, it feels really freaking nice to say that I’m happy.

So that’s why I’m taking a break - in a very long, drawn out way. But my hope was that after this long story, you might understand truly why I am doing this. It would have been easier to just say that writing doesn’t bring me joy anymore but I feel that I owe more than that; especially because I really don’t know if I’ll write for this blog ever again. The last time I took a break, I disappeared without being able to explain myself and I wanted to do so now that I have the chance.

Ultimately, thank you to everyone who has stuck by me over the years. It’s truly been one hell of a rollercoaster. The friends I’ve made on here have seen me at my lowest of the lows. But hey! I’ll still be around. I just won’t be publishing or continuing any of my works anywhere in the near future. Seriously though. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This website has helped me tremendously and I’ll never forget it. Besides, there’s lots of other exciting things happening in my life now so you’ll certainly see me pop in here and there to talk about it ♡

If you wish, you can message me for questions or anything you want to know. I’m an open book - at least about most things hehe. And don’t worry. I still very much love Taehyung and still wildly obsessing over how marvelous he is. Umf.

(here’s some recent photos of me as i rarely take selfies anymore haha. and a derp photo of me and the man i love >_< why is the cutest photo of him with the worst photo of me? still cute though hehe)

#me #personal #goodbye for now #no longer writing #bts writer

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turniptitaness · 3 years ago

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A03 Tag Game

Oh heyyyy @mentallydatingahotcelebrity thank you for tagging me in this and making me feel like an ACTUAL WRITER MY GOSH, even though it took me five days to actually do it...

How many works do you have on AO3?

Nine, which is a pleasant surprise. I thought it was more like five... Plus, one of them is a compilation of 31 little ficlets I wrote for an Ineffable Holiday challenge last year, so I suppose in a way you could say 39. I'm relatively new to writing fanfic, so I'm actually proud of myself for having this many already.

What is your total AO3 wordcount?

39,850. My goodness. That many words of fanfic. Astonishing. And that doesn't even include the stuff I have yet to post. I wonder what the word count of my original writing must be???

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Four fandoms... Good Omens (mostly), The Politician, Crimson Peak, and Only Lovers Left Alive. For someone who loves Tom Hiddleston and all his work, I have the dickens of a time writing for him. No idea why. I have an old Loki fic that I keep meaning to edit and post, but you know... Something shiny and new always comes along.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Well, this will be interesting... I have no idea. Lemme just casually provide links to subtly hint that you (yes you) ought to go read my words. Just kidding. Or am I?

1. Dreams and Plans (Good Omens fic) Awww, this is the very first fic I posted! And I'm still super proud of it, so this makes me happy.

2. Holidays in the South Downs (Good Omens compilation) See, this is the one I expected to have the most kudos. It's the compilation I mentioned earlier, so I fully expected it to have the most engagement.

3. Baby Blue Transistor (Good Omens fic) Clearly, my readers are a Type. This was a "Good Omens Lockdown" fix-it fic. Because NO WAY was I going to let Crowley sleep through the pandemic and leave his angel all alone. And Aziraphale wasn't about to let that happen either.

4. Shelter from the Rain (Good Omens fic) Aw. I love this one. Writing it made me happy.

5. Crimson Past (Crimson Peak fic) It's flippin' hilarious to me that this one makes the list, since it's literally just something I threw on ao3 for a lark. But I guess if you've only got nine options to work from... 💁🏻‍♀️

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I always respond! I just get so excited at seeing that someone cared enough about something I wrote to have a reaction to it! And more people who have the same interests! It's just! So cool!!! Lucky me, so far I haven't had any really negative comments, but I would hopefully do my best to respond well to those if they ever come my way.

What is the fic you’ve written with the Angstiest ending?

Hmm. Probably Crimson Past or Will You Stay?

Crimson Past is about the aftermath of what happens in the movie, so I mean...

And Will You Stay? is a little moment between Payton Hobart and River Barkley from The Politician. Yeah. If you know you know.

I love a good bit of angst, but I mostly tend to write happy endings if possible, because I love the characters I write for and just want them to be happy. Is that too much to ask???

Do you ever write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

S...sort of? I mean, kind of. I'm not sure if it really counts. BUT ANYWAY let me talk about my most recent endeavor, okayy?

Lonely Nights is a semi-crossover of Only Lovers Left Alive/an original character that's based on the "story" of Ben Platt's cover of "You and I" by Lady Gaga. Trust me, I know it sounds weird, but to me the music video has such a strong character and even narrative that it totally counts in my brain.

Anyways, it has like 5 kudos because it's supremely random, but I had such fun writing it that I'm currently writing a sequel. And maybe even turning it into a trilogy ye gods above save me from myself.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

If I have, I deleted it and repressed the memory. Luckily I'm not big or popular enough to garner that kind of attention. Unless, as I said, I repressed it all. Apart from Good Omens, honestly the fandoms I write for are small enough that people just seem grateful for ANY new content, so it's a win-win situation. 🤣

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Oh no, I can't write smut to save my LIFE. I'm not sure why, I love reading the stuff, but somehow I just feel so foolish trying to write it. I'm much more the "fade to black" kind of writer.

I did just write a quick little rather steamy moment for Ben, my Lonely Nights + Unnamed Sequel OC, but even that was written from the perspective of an unwitting observer and was intended for comedy purposes, so yeah. And both participants were fully clothed throughout.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I'm aware... Again, being small and in tiny fandoms has its advantages.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not technically, although I am currently indebted to Mental (hi!) for donating like half of the good ideas for my current WIP, and being a cheerleader for the other half. So in a way??? Anyway, shout-out to you for being amazing, Mental. 💞

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Don't ask me that. That's mean. I could be here for days. But as of THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT, my top three (in no particular order) would have to be The Ineffables (GO), River/Payton (The Politician), and Ben/Top Secret New OC from my WIP.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Honestly, I'm pretty sure it was the Curious George fandom when I was like five years old... But that's not on ao3, so. I bet my mom still has the original manuscript somewhere in her house though, so you never know.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

It's a toss-up between Lonely Nights/its upcoming sequel, purely because I'm having so much fun with them, and Give Me One Weekend, a Politician fic, because it makes me happy to write about my boys being happy.

Okayyyyy, I'm gonna tag @missarisanitewrites even though you've probably already done this... But just in case you haven't. Mainly, I'm just a fan (curses on you for that Professor!Tom nonsense) and wanted to tag you, so. Hi. No pressure.

And also @broken-lycan because Ummmm hello you're super talented and ought to flaunt your words at every opportunity and also I miss you so Hi.

#tag game #story of my life

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personalcoachingcenter · 4 years ago

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A Smart, Educational Look At What POWERFUL SILENCE VS. AWKWARD SILENCE *Really* Does In Our World

New Post has been published on https://personalcoachingcenter.com/a-smart-educational-look-at-what-powerful-silence-vs-awkward-silence-really-does-in-our-world/

A Smart, Educational Look At What POWERFUL SILENCE VS. AWKWARD SILENCE *Really* Does In Our World

A Coaching Power Tool Created by Melanie Brown (Retirement Preparation Coach, SWITZERLAND)

To hear, one must be silent. Ursula K. Le Guin, 2012

Introduction

Silence as a power tool was inspired to me by a peer coaching experience. I was a fairly new ICA student and having my second peer coaching session. My peer client brought a very personal topic to the table: her estranged relationship with her sister. Every time she reflected after answering one of my (many) questions, I was already ready with the next one, rushing in to fill the gaps, instead of just pausing and giving her the space she needed to reflect on this sensitive and emotionally loaded topic. I wanted to ensure that all PCC markers were covered and most probably also wanted to avoid any awkward silences as I was doing my best to be present, actively listening, and gaining more coaching experience.

During the feedback discussion after the session, she rightly pointed out that she had Asian roots, and brought to my attention the fact that in most Asian cultures a discussion often has a slower pace than in other cultures.

Furthermore, during my first intermediate mentor coaching session as a coach, the ICA teaching gave me a very useful piece of feedback “You might,” she said, “want to think about using a little more silence.”

I thought carefully about what that statement meant to me. I took her comments to heart and pondered what this would mean for my peer coaching practice and how to engage in “more silence”. I was curious to learn more about the use of silence in a coaching context, understand the cultural perception, and most importantly how it could become a powerful tool rather than an awkward pause to be avoided by all means.

Explanation

Silence is often associated with religion or rituals as a means of spiritual transformation or a metaphor for inner stillness. Silence is also associated with shyness or introversion when someone doesn’t want to draw attention to themselves. Silence can also be used as a way to remember a tragic incident and to remember the victims or casualties of an event in a commemorative ceremony. Silence can also be legal protection enjoyed by people undergoing police interrogation or on trial in certain countries.

The cultural aspect associated with silence was a discovery to me, and I realized that it is a key component as the average pause length in a conversation may vary by language and culture. The perception of silence in a discussion may vary tremendously. Chances are that the “pause” will be two or three seconds at most. What one culture considers to be a perplexing or awkward pause, others see as a valuable moment of reflection and a sign of respect for what the last speaker has said.

Research (1) conducted at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands in Dutch and also in English found that when silence in conversation stretched to four seconds, people started to feel unsettled. In contrast, a separate study (2) found that the Japanese were happy with silences of 8.2 seconds –nearly twice as long as for Americans. In cultures such as those in Latin America or Italy, people often interrupt or talk over each other, so there is never or very rarely silence.

Besides the cultural and context, when is silence considered as awkward? A sudden absence of noise can be uncomfortable because it seems unmanaged. During an awkward silence, it could well be that one person might be panicking or that two insecure individuals are simultaneously acknowledging their security. People are not very familiar with silence and usually try to fill the gaps. Let’s now see what happens in a coaching context.

Application

During a coaching session, there is no power game at stake. One person, the coach, is managing the session and therefore the awkwardness described above becomes a space that enables the client to process their thoughts and feelings without distraction. It can be a great coaching tool as silence helps the client to gain clarity of the difficulties they face and consider a possible way forward.

To be able to perceive silence as powerful rather than awkward, an entire shift of meaning needs to be considered.

An awkward silence sounds negative in the coaching context and has synonyms such as quiet, still, gag, muzzle, censor, stifle and speechlessness, wordlessness, dumbness, muteness, taciturnity, reticence, uncommunicativeness, unresponsiveness.

A powerful silence has synonyms for the coaching context such as quietness, quietude, still, stillness, hush, tranquility, peace, peacefulness, peace, and quiet.

1) Disrupting the flow: How brief silences in group conversations affect social needs, Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, NamkjeKoudenburg, Sept 2010

2) Yappari, As I Thought: Listener Talk in Japanese Communication, Haru Yamada, Global Advances in Business and Communications Conference & Journal: Vol. 4: Iss. 1, Article 3., 2015

Shifting the meaning and the perception of silence is a skill that can take a while to feel comfortable with and to master, often feeling that silence indicates that the coach has run out of questions. The coach may be met with silence when asking a question to the client – this could be that the client has not understood the question or they are thinking through the answer. A few things could happen then and experienced coaches will allow silence to give the client enough space to think through their response to the full. Less experienced coaches may want to dive in straight away with another question or rephrase the first.

Coaching silence goes beyond occasionally keeping quiet to provide the client with a few seconds of internal inquiry”. It’s a continual process throughout the coaching session and the coaching needs to create the right atmosphere and environment to allow for all the benefits of silence to be observed. It can enhance the coaching session.

These are the benefits of silence that I see in a coaching session. Silence can be :

A time to make connections, to reflect and wait for words or images to occur.

A space in which feelings can be nurtured and allowed to develop

A space in which the client can recover from “here and now” emotions and observe what he/she feels.

An attempt to elaborate an answer

Reflection

As I continue to train and gain experience in coaching I am also continuing to learn the power of silence and to use silence as a tool. I have realized that not only is silence important but it is also interesting as well to reflect upon when the silence occurs. What preceded the silence? Is the client reflecting? Is it the right time to give more space and allow my client to think through their answer more fully, to consider what answer they have already given, or to explore further options?

My learning has taught me to reflect on what silence means to me and my relationship with silence. I try to resist the urge to jump in or interrupt. It also allows me to be better able to gauge what questions to ask next.

The key learning of using silence as a powerful tool in coaching is actually before the session begins. I now pause and apply silence before a peer coaching session. This allows me to focus and reach a level of inner calm. That pause is an eye-opener for me, and although it feels like an eternity, I now realize that it is very brief.

While it may feel counterintuitive, especially for newer coaches like me, I find that in general when I am present but not intruding, I’m more fully connected to my clients and I feel their engagement in their process grow stronger. I am grateful that I was allowed to shift my mindset from awkward silence to powerful silence in coaching, and I realize now what a gift it is to simply sit with our clients in their deepest moments.

References / Bibliography

BBC Worklife article – “The subtle power of uncomfortable silences”, 2017

“The untapped power of silence in coaching”, ebook

Koudenburg, Namkje, “Disrupting the flow: How brief silences in group conversations affect social needs”, Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Sept 2010

Yamada, Haru, “Listener Talk in Japanese Communication”, Global Advances in Business and Communications Conference & Journal: Vol. 4: Iss. 1, Article 3., 2015

Prochnik, George, In Pursuit of Silence: Listening for Meaning in a World of Noise, Anchor Books, 2011 Original source:

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shansen21ahsgov · 4 years ago

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Blog Post #3: Political Party Action

Republican

The greatest asset of the American economy is the American worker. Legal immigrants are making vital contributions to every aspect of national life. They are committed to American values and they strengthen, enrich our culture, and enable us to better compete with the rest of the world. They are specifically grateful for the thousands of new legal immigrants, many of them not yet citizens, who are serving in the Armed Forces. They agree that American’s immigration policy must serve the national interest of the United States. Illegal immigrants endangers everyone, exploits taxpayers, and insults all who aspire to be an American legally. Our highest priority must be to secure our borders and all ports of entry and to enforce our immigration laws. This is why we support building a wall along our southern border. They endorse the SAVE program in which it ensures that public funds are not given to illegal persons in the country. The Republicans believe that sanctuary cities violate federal law which is why they should not be eligible for federal funding. States have the constitutional authority to take steps to reduce illegal immigration. They condemn the Obama Administration’s lawsuits against states that are seeking to enforce federal law. From the beginning, our country has been a haven of refuge and asylum. This should continue but with major changes. Asylum should be limited to cases of political, ethnic or religious persecution. To ensure our national security, refugees who cannot be carefully vetted cannot be admitted to the country, especially those whose homelands have been the breeding grounds for terrorism. I agree with wanting to strengthen our border and protect the citizens of the U.S. I also agree that public funds should not be going to undocumented immigrants and instead to people who are actually citizens. I agree that illegal immigrants endanger parts of society, exploits tax money and insult all who aspire to come to America, legally.

Democratic

The bedrock American idea, that we are one, has been a part of our country from its earliest days. The Trump administration has repudiated the idea and abandoned our values as a diverse, compassionate and welcoming country. They say the Trump administration has been cruel in the extreme. The Democrats say that Trump has been forcibly separating families, putting children in cages, endangering lives by denying Covid-19 tests and banning people from travelling to the U.S. based on their country of origin. Democrats believe “America can do better.” Democrats will reinstate protections for Dreamers and the parents of American citizen children. Democrats believe that the fight to end systemic and structural cruel racism in our country extends to our immigration system. Democrats believe they should rovide a path to citizenship for all illegal immigration in our county. They want to promote workers right because they know that abusive employers make all workers suffer, most importantly immigrants. Democrats will address the root causes of immigration which are violence and security, poverty and corruption, lack of education and economic opportunity. They want to renew American diplomacy as our tool of “first resort” and rebuild our partnerships and alliances. I agree and disagree with these policies. I do not agree with the things they have been saying about the Trump administration and I feel like they are very bias in their writing. All the other platforms did not mention another party except this one.

Green

Immigration and the large number of undocumented immigrants in the U.S. has become a ot political issue. The Green party thinks that if it were economically possible to provide for their families, many would choose to remain in their native countries. Any immigration policy should be seen as a way to address all people humanitarian needs. The Green party stands for social justice for all those living in this country regardless of their immigration status. Above all, policy and law must be humane. The party accepts as a goal a world in which persons can freely choose to live in and work in any country he or she desires. Although they believe countries do have the right to know the identity of the person seeking to enter and also the right to limit who can come in to protect public safety. They think there cannot be any true solutions to the conflicts created by immigration until we are able to organize globally the campaign to drive down workers living standards everywhere. They will work toward the goal of curbing the power of multinationals. I agree that if it were economically possible people would probably want to stay in their native country. I do not agree that undocumented immigrants should be receiving the same economic and political justice and people who actually are citizens.

Libertarian

The Libertarian party does not mention immigration on their platform. Their preamble identifies that they “seek a world of liberty: a world in which all individuals are sovereign over their own lives and are not forced to sacrifice their values for the benefit of others.” They defend each person's right to engage in activity that is peaceful and honest and they welcome the diversity that freedom brings. The world they seek to build is one where “individuals are free to follow their dreams in their own ways, without interference from government.” Their ultimate goal is “a world set free in our lifetime.” It is confusing to me why this party does not identify immigration because one of their main goals is to allow freedom for all, and I am confused whether they are talking about worldly or just in the states. They promote diversity and they say that freedom also promotes a diverse culture, so I can infer they are promoting immigration in order to continue that diversity.

Peace and Freedom

The Peace and Freedom Party calls themselevs “Californias feminist socialist party.” This party was born from the civil rights and anti-war movements of the 1960s and is committed to socialism, democracy, ecology, feminism, racial equality and internationalism. They say they represent the working class and those without capital in a capitalist society. Their goal is to organize toward a world where cooperation replaces competition and a world where all people are fed, clothed and used. They want all women and men to have equal status and all individuals may freely do what they desire. They want a world of freedom and peace where every community retains cultural integrity and lives in harmony with others. On the topic of immigration, they say that immigrant workers are hounded by government authorities, worked and housed in substandard conditions and blamed my Republicans and Democrats for society's problems. They call for open borders, they demand an end to deportation of immigrants, and full political, social and economic rights for resident non-citizens.

Which party position do you identify with the most? Is that surprising?

I identify most with the Republican party position. It is not surprising to me, I have always been very interested in immigration and have always found myself connecting most with the policies of the Republican party. I like how they state that the foundation of the American society is the American worker. A lot of people pin Republicans as people who do not like immigrants and immigration but in the platform it literally states that “immigrants are making vital contributions to our way of life.” I agree with this and I connect with their stance on immigration and what to do about undocumented immigrants.

Would you vote for their presidential candidate?

I would vote for the Republican presidential candidate because I think we as a country should vote based on policies the candidate has provided over personal emotions. I think this plays a major part in the large split between the two parties. As well, I think the Trump administration has taken strides to secure America and better the American citizens through their immigration policies.

Was your civic action issue a topic during the debate?

Unfortunately, immigration was not brought up in the presidential debate.

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theeternalspace · 5 years ago

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Absent Gods 2/10

We’re back! I said I would be posting this and I am. Enjoy chapter two guys, and let’s see if Logan learns any lessons yet...

Title: Absent Gods and Silent Tyranny or: How Logan Learned to Stop Over Thinking and Love Everyone

Chapter Two: What’s in a Name?

Pairings: None / Platonic LAMP with Logan and Virgil focus.

Characters: Logan, Virgil and The Dragon Witch in this chapter.

Summary: Dr. Logic makes his living working for whichever Super Villain is willing to pay. At the end of the day it is a job where he can put his talents to work.

He certainly isn’t bothered by things like public mortality or the definition of good vs evil. He doesn’t have time for things like that, although he accepts that he would be considered a ‘bad guy’. As far as Logan is concerned, it is a small price to pay for the benefits of proper scientific funding.

But when his latest invention fails and his Boss decides to punish someone else for his mistakes, Logan is forced to reevaluate everything he thought he knew.

And maybe accidentally make some friends along the way.

Warnings: Morally grey Logan - he doesn’t get it you guys. Threats of torture, angst. General Villainy. Being held captive. If I’ve missed any let me know.

Previous || Next

~~~

The minions and henchmen moved around the room with a quiet grace. This was a dance that they had clearly done time and time again. They knew which items Ms. Dragon Witch would want without being asked, they knew where to take the table and how to lay out the objects to best please her. It was the sort of efficiency that Logan would have normally appreciated. If it wasn’t all connected to inflicting pain on someone who did not deserve it.

Virgil was still unconscious, something Logan was grateful for. He knew it wouldn’t last - his boss enjoyed the screams of her victims too much for that - but the longer he slept, the longer it was until she began her wicked games. Which gave him a slight chance to change her mind still. It wasn’t some wild optimism that kept him going. He wasn’t being blind or hoping against an impossible hope.

He was only being realistic. Logan was aware of his own talents, his own skills. He knew exactly how much he contributed to her evil empire and his worth overall. He was a talented asset to her. She was supposed to listen to him. Just as he was supposed to guide her to a series of better results. That was what Logan did. Along with creating various machines for her.

If she ever listened to him, he needed her to do it now. He needed to make her see how much of a mistake she was making. Virgil was so much more useful to them intact. Logan had to keep Virgil interact.

“Ah, Dr. Logic, having fun yet?” Ms. Dragon Witch had taken the opportunity while her people were setting up the torture station to change her dress. It was just as tight and as revealing as before, with a plunging neckline that showed far too much skin for his tastes. Then again, he really wasn’t her target audience as any amount of female skin would be too much for Logan. The dress was a spotless, striking white. An odd choice perhaps, for a torture session.

Except he knew she was aiming to hurt both of them at the same time. Seeing evidence of the wounds on her dress, to have red stain the white would create an effect. Not the one she wanted of course, but Logan was not wholly insensible to people’s feelings. He knew what she would expect and he knew what he would actually do.

“You know I’m not,” Logan replied shortly, carefully keeping her gaze on her and not Virgil.

“Poor little Logic. Not prepared to be on this side of things are you. Well, it’s been a long time coming. You have been getting far too... above yourself. Thinking yourself better than you are. And then to fail me in such a crucial moment. I should kill you for that. Perhaps I still will.” She tilted her head to the side, ruby red lips curling into some parody of a smile.

“Or maybe I will just kill him.”

“I did not deliberately sabotage you, I am loyal to you and you alone Ms. Dragon Witch. That being said, I understand the need for a punishment for my sub-par work, but it was my work. Why punish him?”

Logan didn’t understand her reasons. If there was something he hated above all else, it was not understanding something. He was the one - in her twisted mindset at least - to have failed. Virgil wasn’t even a close friend. He was merely his assistant. They had been brought together by chance, by her. If she hadn’t kidnapped Virgil from his home then they would never have met, would never have worked together.

He shouldn't care what happened to Virgil. But his brain was far too useful to be wasted in such a pointless fashion. He was too... well, Logan couldn’t think of the word exactly. He couldn’t describe the many uses that Virgil had or the way in which he had improved every day since they had started to achieve a working relationship.

That was another thing which annoyed Logan. This way in which Virgil refused easy categorisation, how he skipped and danced out of every mental box that Logan attempted to place him in. Virgil wasn’t like the other prisoners. He wasn’t like any of the past assistants. He wasn’t even like any of the heroes that he had ever seen from a distance. Then again, Virgil was the first hero he had actually met, so maybe they were all like that?

Not that Virgil would have called himself a hero. He was very particular about that. That was a title he said that only a few could bear and he wasn’t one of them. His idiot brother was a hero, not Virgil. Logan always knew better than to question him about the hero called Prince. Their relationship - such as it was - was built on unspoken agreements. Logan not trying to interrogate him about his brother was one of those.

Logan couldn’t help but be curious. Not because he wanted to run and tell Ms Dragon Witch anything Virgil might confess - although he would have reported it and that was another reason why he didn’t press him on the matter. If he didn’t know, he couldn’t make that choice, be faced with that conflict of loyalties. No, he wanted to know about the Prince because he wanted to understand. How could anyone like Virgil be related to that... over the top and brash hero? Prince gave him a headache every time he was in the same area as him.

Still, he didn’t ask. There were some lines that were not meant to be crossed and that was one of them.

“Why do you care what I do to him?” Dragon Witch asked, her voice sickly sweet. She hadn’t answered his question, he noticed. It was an infuriating habit of hers at the best of times, the way in which she would answer questions with another question of her own.

“He is useful,” Logan responded. Annoying habit or not, at least it had given him a window to try and plead his case. There could still be a chance of getting her to realise what a mistake she was making. “You captured him for his use as bait and a trophy. Damaged, his value diminishes.”

With a long, slow, blink, Ms. Dragon Witch stared at him, her deep red nails tapping an even rhythm against her side.

“Oh sweetheart,” Ms. Dragon Witch purred, amusement threading through every drawn out word. “So innocent. You think this is the first time I... damaged him, as you put it? What do you think happens every time I summon him for a visit? We have tea and crumpets, like polite little Englishmen and talk about the weather?”

“That is different,” Logan protested and how strange that it was another confirmation of a pet theory. Yet again, it was a confirmation that he didn’t actually want to know. Where was his belief in the truth? Logan had always held fast to the notion that there was nothing more beautiful and perfect than the truth, in all its raw and bleeding glory. It was far better to wrap yourself in facts, no matter how unpleasant than to hide yourself in a web of lies.

Yet the facts brought him little comfort in this case.

She bent down, movement showing off yet more cleavage. It was almost embarrassing how much was on show now. If Logan didn’t know better, he would have thought she was trying to show off to him, simply for the sake of it. But that would be foolish. She knew his inclinations, she knew his preferences. It was not something you chose or could turn off with a single thought. Or a flash of skin. Ms. Dragon Witch leaned closer, his words managing to spark some interest within her. Better him than Virgil.

Wait.

Where had that thought come from? Logan normally valued himself correctly. Highly. He was extremely useful in more ways than one. He would set himself above most people, his assistant included. So why did that thought pass through his mind? Why did he seek to distract her from her murderous urges and try and engage her in conversation? Why did he want to stop her from hurting Virgil so badly?

Almost as though reading his thoughts, she spoke again, her words tugging at all those deep and worrisome thoughts and confusion.

“Oh? Different because... you don’t have to watch? Or because it isn’t your fault so you can ease that thing you pretend is a heart? I thought you didn’t have one of those?”

“Of course I possess one. Just not in the manner in which you are implying,” Logan replied, words clipped and cold. He had no time for such a romantic use of an organ. The heart sent blood around the body and was an incredibly important thing for that alone. There was no need to complicate matters further by giving it the near deity level of importance that it had been raised to over the centuries. It was just a heart. Just another function within the body.

Yet people acted as though it was something so much more. As if it ruled people’s thought process and as if it could force people to act against their previously defined character. He disliked such irrationality. Just as Logan disliked this conversation. Even as he kept it going.

Was this one of those so called heart moments? Had he finally succumbed to the madness of the human condition? Logan really hoped not.

“That is punishment for what he has done. He chose to stand against you, which was wrong. This... this is not logical. There is no reason.”

“Just admit it Dr. Logic. You care about my little pet. You don’t want to see him hurt because of your actions. I wager you don’t want to see him hurt at all. I should have made you watch before now. How amusing to see you crumble.”

“I don’t want you to waste a resource we could use!”

“Ah denial.” Ms. Dragon Witch shook her head in mock disappointment, the motion setting Logan’s teeth on edge. She sighed heavily, still playing this newest role with obvious relish. “Such an... illogical feeling, is it not?”

“I am not in denial,” Logan retorted and he was rapidly losing patience with this whole thing. Why couldn’t she be as predictable and as useful as any of his experiments? If he had applied the correct pressure, then the expected response would occur. Humans were not nearly as neat as all of that. Much to his annoyance. By any reasonable measure, his words should have proved that Virgil was more useful intact and yet any argument he made only seemed to make her that much more determined. It was as though his words were having the opposite intended effect.

“It is you who are too dimwitted to properly appreciate the importance of my words. The logic of them.”

Anger was an emotion. Which meant that it wasn’t something that Logan regularly - if ever - experienced. If he did however, he would have to admit that he was feeling angry right now. And that the anger had made him hasty. Made him say some things that while true, were not exactly the most intelligent thing to say. Because while Logan did not suffer from emotions, Ms Dragon Witch did. Anger among them.

Her expression shifted into something truly murderous. There wasn’t even a chance to know that he had delivered the correct stimulus at last in order to get the response he expected. Anger was too easy an emotion to pull from her. Anger only served to make his job harder and so it was hardly the reaction he actually desired.

The flames rose higher for a moment, a crackling, heated warning for Logan to behave. As much as he wished to spare Virgil pain, he wasn’t going to place himself in that spot instead. He wasn’t a fool, no matter what she might think.

Mouth snapped shut, Logan simply glaring back. He might be unwilling to verbally bait her any further but that didn’t mean he agreed with her. Or that he was fully giving in. Logan just wasn’t going to let himself get burnt by the fire which had thankfully returned to its previous levels. She stood on the other side of the flames, completely unaffected by the heat. Logan did his best to appear unaffected in turn, ignoring the sweat dripping down his face. He wasn’t about to show weakness.

The angry snarl dropped away, Ms. Dragon Witch blinking a couple of times, her gaze angled slightly over Logan’s head and towards one of her minions.

“You were always one for learning, were you not?”

“I am,” Logan replied, feeling something akin to whiplash in the way she shifted so effortlessly away from rage to a question. Eyes flickered down to meet his gaze, rich lips curling back into that infuriating smile.

“Let us see what you learn from this then, Dr. Logic.”

With a soft hum, she turned away from him. It was the sort of noise that Logan would associate with being able to start an enjoyable activity. It was, he realised with a sickening drop of his stomach, the sound she must make whenever she got to play her games. Ms. Dragon Witch stepped to the side, giving him a clear view of his lab assistant in the chair opposite. As he had suspected - feared - the purple haired young man was awake. Which meant Logan was out of time.

Which meant he had failed.

“Sleepy head awakes at last. Hello, Virgil.”

“Karen,” Virgil sneered, his eyes flashing with a near murderous rage. He didn’t appear to care that he was in her room, trapped. That... that wasn’t her name. Logan knew that. More to the point, Virgil knew it wasn’t her name. Why would he deliberately use an incorrect name? Why would he try and annoy her? From the way her fingers curled into brief talons, it was clear he had succeeded.

“Behave darling. Different game this time. You are going to help me,” she instructed, slowly walking towards him. Hips swayed dramatically as she did, something too pronounced to be anything but deliberate. Always putting on a show. Virgil gave a snort, the sound effortlessly conjuring up exactly how he felt about that idea.

“Fat chance.”

“Oh, you won’t have a choice darling one.” Ms. Dragon Witch was behind him now, long nails tracing along his shoulder and dancing up his neck. Logan caught the tiny flinch that ran through Virgil’s body before he could suppress it. The way his breath hitched in his throat for just a fraction of a second. Try as he might to limit his physical responses, it was clear that Virgil was scared of her.

Which made his previous bravado all the more bewildering.

If you were scared of someone, why would you attempt to anger them?

“What did you do to Dr. Logic’s project? I know you did something my pet...” She whispered the words, dipping a little so her long hair brushed against him.

“What... what are you talking about?” Virgil asked cautiously.

Logan’s eyes widened a little as he stared at Virgil. Nobody else seemed to have noticed the hint of uncertainty in the other’s words or the way he stiffened slightly. He had learnt a lot about people’s tells over the years. It helped him in more ways than one. Virgil had been a tough nut to crack. He still wasn’t sure if he had managed to learn it all. As much as it pained Logan to think, he was fairly confident that if Virgil tried to lie directly to his face, he would get away with it.

True, he had already given himself away with his fear but this was something else. Something new. Something that a part of Logan was already filing away in the back of his mind in case he needed to compare that tone against any other Virgil might make.

One thing was for sure though. Virgil had just lied to her.

Which meant - what exactly?

That he had done something? Had it been his actions that had caused his machine to malfunction and cause all this trouble?

No, Logan had checked all the figures and readouts himself as soon as the invention had malfunctioned. He had gone over all his notes, obsessively checking each line of code. He knew exactly where the project had gone wrong and why. Logan knew it had been an error on his part. An honest error, in not being able to match the different temperatures in which the liquids change to gases. That and that alone had been the cause of the failure. And it had been Logan’s miscalculation.

It made him a little sick to his stomach, each time he thought that, but there was no getting around that awkward truth. It had been Logan who had messed up.

So why was Virgil lying about it now?

It was such a small slip up, something Logan doubted Ms. Dragon Witch would pick up on. Which meant his reaction wasn’t for her. It probably wasn’t for him either, and that pointed towards it being an honest, accidental reaction. In turn, that pointed to him not trying to deflect from causing damage. It was something else he was guilty of. So what had Virgil done?

What was going on?

“I’m talking about the new game pet. You’re going to help me teach Dr. Logic a lesson... unfortunately for you, I’m going to make you scream to do so. Perhaps then his mind will be more focused in the days ahead.”

It was as though Virgil hadn't even noticed Logan was there until that moment, eyes shifting from Ms. Dragon Witch to stare at him. For a moment, the gaze was wide and unguarded. In that moment, Logan could see all the fear and worry reflected in his eyes. All the anxiety and the near crushing knowledge of how much this was going to hurt. Then, the shutters came down, Virgil closing himself off as best he could.

“Take his jacket off. No sense in wasting time damaging thick cloth when I could be ripping skin apart.”

The minions jumped to attention, all scurrying to carry out her bidding. No doubt fearful of what might happen to them if they displeased her. In a way, this was a brilliant choice on her part. At a stroke she would prove that nobody was above punishment. That nobody was too important. She would be able to show them what happens if they were to forfeit her favour and enjoy her herself in the process.

Logan somehow doubted she had thought that far ahead. That wasn't her style. Ms. Dragon Witch's style was just that - flashy, loud, impressive. But ultimately lacking any sort of substance. His boss was acting on her emotions and little else. So caught up in the moment that she failed to see the long term advantages of her actions. Sooner or later, that would cost her dearly. Logan had always known that - right now however, he found himself hoping that it would be sooner. The sooner the better.

Virgil's struggles had been pointless, the guards forcing his wrists back down against the arms of the chair. Thick metal snapped into place, curling around him and pinning him down. Logan had designed that chair. There was no getting out of it if you were the one in it. Not even Virgil would be able to. From the look on Virgil's face, he knew it too. It didn't stop the purple haired man from continuing to fight against them.

How many times had she put him in that chair? How many of Logan's inventions had been used to hurt one of the very few people that he would class as interesting and near his own level? Logan wasn't naive. He was fully aware that most - if not all - of what he designed was used for nefarious purposes. He was even aware that many of them were used to create pain. It had never been something Logan had spent much time thinking about. It was just a side effect of achieving his goals. As Dr. Logic he had weighed up the pros and cons. It had been a price worth paying.

Somehow it didn't give him the same kind of comfort when faced with the reality of the moment.

While he was distracted, Ms. Dragon Witch had retrieved a whip from the collection on the table and returned to stand behind the cuffed Virgil. Logan really didn’t like either the object or the position. That strange knot of something was growing larger in his stomach.

“Ready pet?”

Not that she waited for an answer. Instead, with a wicked giggle, she lifted the whip high in the air before bringing it sharply down against Virgil's exposed neck.

#sanders sides #fic #logan sanders #virgil sanders #aca writes #absent gods #long post #angst #angst with happy ending #platonic

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atthechimeofmidnight · 5 years ago

Text

CinPhen Secret Santa!!!

So a bunch of discord peeps decided to do a secret santa! Here is my fanfic for @distracteddaydreams ! Hope y’all enjoy! Day requested some post-route politics, and I chose to do a Karma x Lucette fic. about 3k words, sorry about that haha

Lucette could feel the slightest tension begin to set into her forehead. Previously she had believed the royal court of Angielle to be tedious, but the court of Brugantia was proving to be even more so.

The long process of a inter-dynasty marriage had begun, requiring the crown princess to spend long periods of time away from her homeland to perform various duties in her betrothed’s country. Treaties had to be formed about what territory goes where, what monarch goes to what country, trade privileges, etc; and the two countries had to become acquainted formally in a series of diplomatic meetings and balls between royal figures and courts.

If this could be called diplomatic.

Treaties Lucette could handle. Her mother, albeit dubiously, taught her how to negotiate in these situations: what terms were outrageous, how to protect herself and her country as its ruler, how to add bits and pieces into the conditions that would give an invisible upper hand...but not how to handle-

“Lucette, dear, how do you enjoy the tea? It is one of Brugantia’s finest imports. But I’m sure our prince has treated you to this before, yes?

-cattiness. Looking across the table, Lucette mustered her best polite smile (or grimace. She was very sure it was a grimace) to reply, “Klaude prefers coffee, so we tend to take that in the afternoon in the place of tea.”

There was a noticeable, charged pause, causing Lucette’s eyes to flick wildly between the ladies. All of them had angled slightly to face her, expectantly waiting, each looking with a mix of indifference and lightly concealed distaste.

I said something wrong. What am I missing what am I missing what am I-

“The tea is lovely, though, I will have to urge him to include it the next time we take tea together.”

And like that the tension was cut. The women turned away from her to resume their neutral state, and Lucette could breathe once again. Duchess Angeline, a middle-aged, auburn-haired woman, was more than pleased to recount whatever gossip she heard amongst her servants, and attention was diverted from the princess.

Silently glancing at the clock in the corner, Lucette unfortunately found that she had nearly another half hour left with the court. If she had known that the process of marrying Klaude would take this many unnecessary conversations with so many dull individuals, she would have considered eloping.

As soon as the fantasy sprung in her mind, Lucette squashed it immediately. She has duties. Klaude has duties. And, while Lucette nor Klaude would admit it, they both loved their countries in the way a ruler only could. It was an odd, begrudging love, like a parent to an unruly child, but love nonetheless. For this reason, it was necessary that they fight through the messiness that was dealing with nobility.

Lucette, however, felt absolutely blindsided by the workings of Brugantia’s court. While previously in Angielle, the court had played a significant role in politics, the tyrannical reign of her mother had killed the power of nobility considerably; consequently, the king now absolutely resided over all lands with the court serving as a liaison between the king and the people. Her father intended to keep it that way to continue to ensure stability in the kingdom still recovering from the Great War. Brugantia was frustratingly different. It kept with the tradition of a spread out system of nobles having significant control over various territories, which led to them working with the king and advisors to pass laws that would benefit their lands (and themselves).

How on earth are you supposed to trust these people to do what’s best for the kingdom?, Lucette thought. All they seem to talk about is themselves or the next dullest thing possible.

She took another bite out of the cake in front of her and involuntarily cringed. Another thing she had yet to get used to was how Brugantian tea time seemed to consist of sweet snacks and other various desserts, compared to the more savory tea time she was used to in Angielle. While she did enjoy the occasional pastry, having one nearly every single day was enough to exhaust those cravings.

“Is something not to your liking, your highness?”

Apparently she hadn’t concealed her distaste well enough.

Lucette took a moment to center herself before returning to the duchess sitting across the table from her, silently scrambling to say something other than the fact that she was quite sick of sweets. Suddenly, the lady sitting to her right interrupted before the princess could speak, setting her fork down quite loudly.

“I do think that the chocolate petit four is off today, don’t you agree, princess?”

Lucette nearly sighed with relief. “I do, actually.”

Duchess Angeline was quick to recover, as it appeared the interruption surprised her as much as it did Lucette. Regardless, Lucette was grateful for the unspoken support of the woman. She did not miss, however, the quick glare the duchess sent to the lady and her slight shrug in response.

The etiquette of politics is far too complicated in her opinion. Having to say exactly the right thing to get your point across all under the guise of false politeness is...frustrating, to say the least. Entire conversations could be had in complete silence, communicating only through subtle changes in body language. Speaking was worse. Everything had its own hidden meaning, and changing how exactly you said one word could completely turn a situation on its head. It is far easier, Lucette thought, to just be direct. Be honest. Enough of this sickly sweet poison. She did see the logic behind it, albeit dubious. To say something a little too rough to another person in power could be the tipping point for inciting a trade block or, god forbid, a rebellion.

The brown-haired woman sighed dramatically. “Well, we will just have to talk to Remille. It’s not like him to bake a bad cake.” Just as Lucette thought the crisis was averted, then, faintly, there was that dark change again in Angeline’s eyes as the woman raised her teacup to her lips. “Lucette, your step-mother and step-siblings are bakers, yes? Ah, excuse me, former bakers. How does it compare to the servant cooks?”

The princess could feel her temperature rise a couple of degrees. She suspected that there would be some resistance to the engagement due to her mother being, well, Hildyr, and Lucette had prepared to protect herself against such attacks, but it now seemed like dissenters would use anything as a weapon to express their distaste.

So this is the true nature of the court, she thought bitterly. And while Lucette was not on the greatest terms with her family, their relationship had gotten better, and on most nights the princess did enjoy their company. In these moments, it felt as if the entire world was trying to prove that her changed viewpoint was for nothing, as if every cruel act and word proved her old self right.

Her hand went to her throat unconsciously, resting where her glass slipper pendant sat before she broke her curse. Lucette fixed her posture, lifting her chin before smiling a cool, closed smile at the woman. I will not let her know that I am irritated. I will not let her irritate me. I am above being petty. If she wants to play etiquette politics, then so be it.

“Yes, they were. In fact, Queen Ophelia,” she said, emphasizing her step-mother’s title, “Still bakes to this day, to relieve stress I believe. She is an extremely talented baker in my opinion.”

Apparently that was not the reaction that the woman was searching for. Duchess Angeliene’s eyes widened slightly as she dropped her cup to its saucer, and opened her mouth as if to defend herself. Before the woman could get a word out, Lucette interrupted her.

“And, if you would, I am the crown princess of Angielle and the fiancé of the crown prince of Brugantia. I assume you have not forgotten my correct addresses?”

The informal usage of her name, without even a title, by a woman she did not even know, incensed Lucette in an extremely deep manner. Stature, as she had learned, was not everything, but even the most basic of manners are required. But to be addressed so informally, so disrespectfully, was so...personal.

Every lady of the court at the table watched with wide eyes. The soft din of noise that usually accompanied afternoon tea was completely silenced. The older, more experienced women corrected themselves quickly and resorted to flicking their eyes between the princess, who had taken an air of regality, and the duchess, who had seemed to have lost all of hers.

Angeline took a moment to regain her composure, although her neck, splotched with red, displayed her flustered state. “I apologize, Your Majesty. I forgot myself in that moment, and…” the woman paused before forcing out, “I do hope you’ll forgive me.”

The princesses let out the breath she did not know she was holding, her hands relaxing in her lap. A victory, although admittedly a small one. If Lucette was not liked by the court, so be it, but she’ll be damned before she is run out by petty women who did not even know her.

There was a knock on the door behind Lucette, snapping everyone out of the tension that had seized the occupants of the room. The lady sitting next to Duchess Angeline (Lucette racked her brain before remembering the Marqesse’s name, Cerise) nudged the woman, who had forgotten that as the host of the afternoon, she was to answer the door. The corners of Lucette’s mouth twitched.

The duchess jumped. “Ah! Yes, do come in!” Lucette did not miss the way her shoulders sunk with relief at the diversion from her failed jab, before noticing all of the courtiers stood suddenly. Whoever came in must be equal to or higher in stature than the court, and Lucette could only pray that it wasn’t the k-

Before the princess could finish her thought, however, she felt arms being draped around her and a low voice close to her ear.

“I do apologize, but could I steal my fiancé away from you ladies for a moment?”

Klaude. Lucette broke into a soft smile, relief both at being saved from the court and happiness at seeing her betrothed for this first time that day.

And then turned a deep red.

Klaude pressed a soft, slow kiss to the skin just below her ear, causing the princess to shiver. What made matters worse, however, was the fact that the prince had buried his face in Lucette’s neck, angling his head just enough to see the rest of the table.

Suddenly the ladies of the court were far more interested in the embroidery on the table cloth, and Angeline was determined to look anywhere but at the royal couple. “Well, of cour-”

“Fantastic,” Klaude said, pulling Lucette out of her seat. “If you would excuse us.”

Lucette had barely bent into a curtsey before Klaude had pulled her out of the room and away from the various social rooms deeper into the palace. He was walking at a slightly faster pace than her, forcing the princess to nearly jog to stay holding his hand.

What’s wrong with him?

She couldn’t quite see the full expression of his face, but it seemed to her that he had a very firm grasp of his composure. That is, until Lucette looked at his eyes, green and intense with some unpleasant emotion she couldn’t place. The last thing she remembered talking about with him was his hunting trip with his father. Oh.

“Klaude, wh-”

The red-headed man simply squeezed her hand, and uttered, “Not now. Just a little bit more, my love.”

So she kept quiet and followed along. Lucette knew Klaude, and she knew that his ‘not now’ was now a promise rather than a dismissal; however, she could never get used to how she was never able to help Klaude until he decided to reveal to her what was bothering him. It was these small moments where she felt as clueless to him as she was when she first met him, and it was these small moments she despised.

Lucette was so wrapped up in her thoughts and what was possibly bothering Klaude that she failed to notice the number of servants and courtiers lining the hallways dwindling until there were none around the engaged pair. Klaude stopped abruptly, dropping her hand. She then took a moment to assess her surroundings, and noticed that they were in a section of the palace that was being redone, swaths of fabric covering the portions of the wall where wallpaper was being replaced. Lucette turned to look at her fiancé, standing stone still barely a foot from her. She cautiously reached out to touch his shoulder, to do something to bring him out of whatever mood he was in.

The moment her fingertips brushed his shoulder, Klaude pounced on the princess without warning, hands on either side of her face and kissing her with an intensity Lucette had never experienced. Yes, they had kissed...passionately before, but this felt different. The concern in Lucette’s mind faded as she melted underneath him, her hands clutching at his shoulders for stability.

The reciprocation only seemed to drive Klaude further, pushing Lucette against the wall. In surprise, the woman gasped against his lips, allowing him to slip his tongue into her mouth. Lucette’s hands finally found themselves in the prince’s hair, and as she experimentally tightened her grip, she could’ve sworn she heard him make a noise from the back of his throat.

Klaude pulled away, only to return his attentions to her neck. In a sudden moment of clarity, Lucette suddenly remembered why they were in this wing in the first place, and managed to squeeze out a, “What happened?”

The prince stopped briefly in his affections to laugh mirthlessly, and between kisses, said, “One of my...father’s advisors...does not think...that our marriage...is a good idea.”

Lucette froze, pushing against her fiancé’s shoulders to stop his ministrations, shock running cold in her system. “He said what?”

Klaude released the princess, bringing himself up to make eye contact with her, but leaving his hands on her waist. She could now see his eyes clearly, desire slowly being overtaken by what the princess could only describe as fury.

“He said that it was a political disadvantage. That Angielle was too unstable, too unpredictable to have an alliance with, that...”

Her eyes widened. He was implying that…

“...I was too unstable to have on the throne,” Lucette finished for him. The man flinched in response, and she could feel his hands form fists in the fabric of her dress.

“And earlier too, with the duchess I-” Klaude suddenly exclaimed, the edges of his words tinged with distress, and his right hand moving to clutch the rose necklace she gave him.

That was enough.

“Klaude.” Lucette took his face in her hands, forcing him to look her in the eyes. He looked at her almost frantically, green eyes wide, and she suddenly realized how all of this was taking a toll on him. Klaude had never been the responsible type, she had heard so many stories from him about how exactly he’d hide and shirk his various charges. To now be dealing with all of his duties and interacting with the court and the advisors must be...overwhelming, to say the least.

The princess returned her focus to the man in front of her, who was still looking at her, searching her face for something that he could decipher, that he could hold onto.

“We are still getting married, yes?”

The words had barely left her mouth before he retorted with a quick, incredulous, “Of course.”

She leaned forward, placing a delicate kiss on Klaude’s lips, pulling back before the man could deepen it. “Then that is it. Forget everything else. It doesn’t matter what the courts think. Them disapproving of our engagement does not stop the fact that you are going to be my husband.”

He stared at her blankly for a second before breaking out into a soft smile. “Say it again, love. Please.”

Lucette acquiesced. “You are going to be my husband.”

Klaude’s hands slowly made their way to her face to tuck her hair back to where it had fallen out during their earlier kiss. “Yes, I will be. And you will be my wife.”

The princess flushed and knew that the small amount of powder she applied in the morning would not be enough to hide the reddening color of her face. She quickly looked away, choosing to not acknowledge her fiancé’s chuckle at her embarrassment. “I-I will be. I will be,” she said, trying to mask how the phrase made her stomach flutter. “We just have to get arrangement terms processed. All of this...interaction is just for etiquette and tradition.”

“Besides,” Klaude drawled slyly, “my father likes you too much to let you go. Something about you being a good influence on me and ‘keeping me in check’, although I have no idea what he could possibly mean by that.”

Huffing, Lucette pushed the man’s shoulders lightly, not bothering to hide the smile now growing on her face as well. She knew that as long as Klaude loved her, nothing else mattered, but it was reassuring to know that the king did not look down on her because of her nature as a witch, her relations, or how cruel she used to be.

Lucette turned, murmuring a soft, “We should head back,” which elicited a groan from Klaude. Regardless of his displeasure at the idea of returning to the day, the prince still followed, offering his arm to walk her, which the princess immediately took. They walked in silence for a moment, both enjoying the other’s company, before Lucette turned to her partner.

“What was that in the tea room?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Klaude retorted, blatantly feigning innocence.

The princess raised a brow. “So you don’t remember accosting me in a full room?”

“Oh that? I would hardly call that accosting you, dear, just…” He paused. “Just sending a message.”

Lucette huffed, nudging Klaude to keep moving. The pair walked back to where they were expected; however, unbeknownst to them, word had gotten to the king of Klaude’s ‘message’, and the man was understandably excited about embarrassing the both of them at dinner later that night.

#Cinderella Phenomenon #Lucette (Cinderella Phenomenon)#Karma (Cinderella Phenomenon)#Klaude (Cinderella Phenomenon)#fanfiction #My writing #secretsantacinphen2k19

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islamcketta · 4 years ago

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What a week it’s been. Seven days ago at this time, my husband was with our dog, Rocky, at the vet for what would be his second to last visit and I was trying to decide how to tell our four-year-old son that the dog wasn’t coming home. The dog did come home, and we spent a tense 48 hours watching for the inevitable before we could get the second, final visit. And somehow, on Monday I did find the words to tell my son that Rocky was not coming home. He covered his ears and did not want to talk about it. As heartbreaking as this conversation was (as well as subsequent ones where I tried to make sure he knew he could talk to me when he was ready), it’s nothing compared to trying to explain racism to a small child, even as I’m still learning about it myself.

But the time for change is now. That’s why I finally took Ijeoma Oluo’s So You Want to Talk About Race off the shelf in my bedroom where it had been waiting too long to be read.

When my son was born, a friend insisted I read Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates. An excellent book, and a hard read in that early parenting time when my empathy for all humans was almost shattering, I learned a lot from Coates. But my reading of that book did not fix our society and really, it did not fix me either. And I won’t say that I’m fixed now that I’ve read (most of, I’ll finish the rest this afternoon) Oluo’s book, either, but So You Want to Talk About Race engaged me in a conversation I needed to have with myself and Oluo gave me both the language and the understanding necessary to try harder.

A Lexicon of Racism

Too much of my experience of the world these days comes from Twitter-sized synopses in which I either smile or rankle before moving on and forgetting. And while I’ve had a superficial understanding of the concepts of white privilege, intersectionality, and microagressions, I haven’t really put the work in to know what I could do about any of it besides feel guilty and try to not say ignorant things. Oluo helped me take that next step by unpacking what the words mean and what they look like in everyday life. She opens up ideas of how white people can start to confront and dismantle them in their own lives and in the lives of the people around them. She also speaks directly to people of color.

Two of the most impactful things Oluo helped me understand are the power dynamics of racism and the ways I’ve been failing to properly empathize with the experiences of people of color. They are not unrelated, but while I cannot dismantle the white supremacy inherent in our institutions (today anyway), I can breathe in her “basic rules” of determining if something is about race until they are a part of my body:

It is about race if a person of color thinks it is about race.

It is about race if it disproportionately or differently affects people of color.

It is about race if it fits a broader pattern of events that disproportionately or differently affect people of color.

Do any of those rankle? As a student of sociology, I had no trouble accepting the last two, but I really struggled with the first. Which meant I had to ask why. Where I’m at now (a few days into this process) is that I’ve been so gaslit about my own experiences (as a woman) that victim blaming is part of my body. My mechanism for feeling better about myself is trying to control every aspect of every situation so that I can never get hurt so if someone else gets hurt then clearly they failed to control something. Except that argument is as full of bullshit for people who are subjected to the abuses of a racist system as it is for women who are raped, assaulted, or harassed.

And the passing of a counterfeit $20 bill is never, ever a crime that should be paid for with a life.

The Beauty of Vulnerability

“Acknowledging us, believing us, means challenging everything you believe about race in this country. And I know that this is a very big ask, I know that this is a painful and scary process. I know that it’s hard to believe that the people you look to for safety and security are the same people who are causing us so much harm. But I’m not lying and I’m not delusional. I am scared and I am hurting and we are dying. And I really, really need you to believe me.” – Ijeoma Oluo So You Want to Talk About Race

I haven’t read White Fragility (yet), but I do know that when confronted with my own racism I more want to hide in a corner than confront my bad actions and I’m certain I’m not alone. In So You Want to Talk About Race, Oluo does the reader the kindness of opening up her own vulnerability. She both unpacks moments when she was not representing the values she espouses and experiences when she has been victimized by institutions and individuals. I’m deeply grateful for this approach, because by being so open and vulnerable with her readers, she made it much easier to be open and vulnerable back. Although she often says (correctly) that it is not the victim of racism’s job to educate the perpetrator, this choice is helping me examine both the problems with the system and also the ways in which I have perpetuated those problems.

The Structures of Power

As I mentioned, institutionalized racism was one of the hardest parts of this book to get my head around, I think because I was raised to believe in this American ideal of founding fathers who were looking out for all of us and who set up this great nation around some very laudable ideals. And now I have to interrogate all of that. We all do.

The police in my brain are here to “protect and to serve” and that’s a comfortable place to return to when I want to ignore one more abuse or death at their hands. But I remember the way the teenagers in my home town were hounded by the police—and we were white. When you entrust someone with a job, you have to be very careful how you frame that job. Even if you think about little things like quotas for traffic tickets. That’s not the police looking to stop people who are breaking laws, that’s a worker trying to check off a list of tasks and they’ll enforce traffic laws at whatever level they can until that list is complete. Now add a government and a legal system that was designed to protect the property of white men. I don’t know enough about what makes the police act as a military force against people of color (though I’m thinking about it); I do think they are acting to protect a status quo that should not be protected.

I don’t need to watch the video of George Floyd’s death to know that kneeling on the neck of a human being (ever, not to mention until they die) is not ever okay. But when John T. Williams was shot down in cold blood by a Seattle police officer, I used personal knowledge of his behavior to make excuses for the officer. When the pregnant Charleena Lyles was shot and killed three miles from where I lived with my almost two-year-old, I was sickened yet did nothing. In truth, those cases formed a pattern where the police failed to place the value of a human life above the value of their own inconvenience.

It’s beyond time that we confront what is wrong with policing in this city and this country, that we dismantle the current system, and that we instead build something that serves everyone. Something that treats human lives (of all colors) with value. I believe strongly that this starts early in life when we must give all children the same opportunities. I also believe that we have to stop treating 12-year-olds like Tamir Rice like it’s too late for them because their bodies are big. That no one should die for selling cigarettes, as Eric Garner did, or for being in a house where drugs were suspected of being sold, as was the case with Breonna Taylor. Black lives are human lives and black lives matter.

What I’m Telling My Son

The day my (then two-year-old) son asked for a Playmobil tactical van, my heart sank. But he thought it was a police car and he wanted it and I wanted him to have what he wanted. Now he asks me to turn off NPR when they use the word “dead.” Mostly I do, because there are a lot of details he does not need to know. But this week is different. As will be all the weeks going forward.

This week we talked about why people become police officers, that some people want to help others and that’s good, but that some people want power over others, and that’s bad. We talked about skin color and things that make people look different but that’s only how they look on the outside. We talked about how he needs to stand up for his friends because sometimes they won’t be able to stand up for themselves. Later, I’ll probably have him sit through the Sesame Street town hall on racism. Because while we try to surround him with diverse books and friends of all colors with a wide variety of life experiences, it’s not enough.

So I’m going to keep reading, Oluo’s book and others, and turning that knowledge into action. There are a myriad of good anti-racism reading lists out there and I also recommend this podcast and essay. As always, I’m open to your suggestions. Let’s take our hands off our ears and change the world with the power we have. We’re stronger than we know.

The post So You Want to Talk About Race (I Do) appeared first on A Geography of Reading.

#Lit #Books #USA & Canada

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adzandiel-blog · 5 years ago

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Fine, We Were Responsible for the Straight Pride Parade

*Originally titled "the time we thought straight people couldn’t get any dumber, made a bet, and then watched as they hit rock bottom and kept digging"

This is mainly directed at you Straight Pride Parade bastards. I read an article today, showed it to Aden, and we decided that yeah, we should probably fess up in a minor way.

You know that feeling sometimes when you trip or fall in your dream, and wake up with a jolt, feeling like you just fell a long way?‌ Yeah, I need to take credit for that idea. Not that I go around each night in the metaphysical dream realm and throw people off cliffs just for the kicks1, but that whole jolting you awake at 3 AM thing? That was totally my business pitch.

Anyway, that doesn’t relate in any way to this post.‌ Just keep in mind that we (both angels and demons alike) have the ability to just dip into others’ dreams and extend a little Heavenly or infernal influence.

This is a relatively recent event compared to all the other stories we’ve got, but we figured it’s a fun story to tell.

A few months ago, Aden and I‌ saw a gay couple being kicked out of a coffee shop, with the manager proclaiming loudly that ‘this is a Christian establishment’2 3 and that said couple should never return. And I’m the demon and all, yes, but then, I had to almost physically restrain Aden from rushing at the homophobic dick and giving him a shiner.

We left right alongside the couple in protest, bought them a meal at another diner4, and I‌ personally made sure that when the manager went home that night, he’d find that his walls were much thinner than he remembered, and that the couples living next to him, below him, and above him suddenly had much more energy for their libidos.

So when we went home that night, we were suitably tipsy, which is a context that often leads to entertainingly tangent-y discussions. It started with Aden drunkenly flipping through the Bible, finding Leviticus 18:22, and cursing when he finds the translation wrong.5

See, the thing is, the English translation of the Hebrew Bible is just slightly off. America paid for it, back in the day, and we’re not entirely sure what the Hell happened6 with the translation, but it came out different and gave millions of people the wrong impression.

In the Hebrew, Greek, German, Swedish, Norwegian, and undoubtedly countless many other translations of the Bible, the quote “Man shall not lie with man as he does with a woman, for it is an abomination” is instead (correctly) translated into “Man shall not lie with young boys as he does with a woman, for it is an abomination”.7

See the difference?

It’s all a great big bloody misunderstanding, is what it is. The Bible condemns pederasty.

So we began thinking. If millions—billions, really—of desperate Christians will believe and live by a wrong translation, how much stupider can they get?

We made a bet.

Aden’s money was on straight people already hitting rock bottom. Mine was on the belief that straight people—and people, in general—have, in fact, already hit rock bottom, but that it wouldn’t stop them from descending further.8 In fact, I‌ said, I can hear the pick-axe sales skyrocketing already.

And we had to prove that one of us was right, didn’t we?

So our million-dollar idea was this: If we could get someone to celebrate heterosexuality with pride, in the sense of June being Pride Month9 and rainbows being flags of proud defiance against oppression and all, then I‌ would win the bet. If our targets refused to do something so blatantly disrespectful, then Aden would win.

You can probably guess who won.10

That night and the rest of the nights in the week, Aden and I would occasionally infiltrate and pop up in random dreams of heterosexual Christians (and/or other religions/lack thereof) and we tried our best to influence them into thinking that they, as straight people, deserve to be celebrated and proud of their sexuality.11

We didn’t expect it to, you know, work.12

And the thing is, you know, this isn’t even a new thing!‌ I went ahead and researched straight pride parades, and apparently, it’s been around since the late 1900’s, which is ridiculous. Humanity’s been around for… as long as we have, which is give-or-take five millennium, and they still sit around with the ability to pull this kind of utter bullshit.

How incredibly stupid is that?

I don’t remember their names (the guys behind the parade in Boston), but just in case they’re reading this:‌ Hi. Right big idiotic bastards, the lot of you. So idiotic, really, it’s almost hilarious. And besides that, you have an incredibly stupid website with an equally ridiculous domain name.

And one last thing:‌ Advocating to put an ‘S’ in ‘LGBTQ’?‌

God, Satan, and every being in between, I don’t even know where to start with that one.

It’sGreatToBeStraight…InOurCoreBeliefsOfRespectingTheLGBTQ+Community. God bless, Satan strengthen, Amen, and all that.

Until next time, folks. Don't make us write our next post with righteous anger again.

Or… kick people off cliffs just for the throws? ↩︎

Which, by the way, is an utterly stupid thing to say in response to kicking gay couples out of your establishment. Fuck you if you do that. God never said shit about disliking gay couples, She only talked about disliking pedophiles. And Her son just disliked figs. We would know. Aden met him once. In a stroke of demonic genius, I introduced him to apples. He liked them. ↩︎

The waiter who was serving the couple looked downright mortified and embarrassed about his superior’s behavior. Aden managed to convince him—afterwards, in a subtle manner—to resign, and he made sure of the fact that the ex-waiter (he couldn’t have been more than 18 in age) found a nice job with decent pay. ↩︎

The diner in mention had friendly people running the place and excellent food. The couple was grateful, and insisted on buying us drinks. Right now, the four of us are engaged in a loop of buying each other food and drinks. It’s fun, really. ↩︎

Aden wants me to mention that he never curses. That’s wrong, because I‌ can quote him, word for word, on that night—“Zan, Zan, would yo—look at this. Look at this bullshit—’Man shall not lie with man, for it is an abomination’—they really thought that was—God, ‘m not drunk enough for this shit”—and many other nights as well. Don’t give me that look, angel. ↩︎

Although Hell definitely might’ve happened. My kind aren’t inherently homophobic or anything, but it wouldn’t have been unthinkable for a demon to think it funny for a large amount of people to hate homosexuals. I’m not that guy. Abaddon definitely would’ve approved the idea, though. Whichever bastard it was probably got a commendation for it. ↩︎

This is because, back in those days, they encouraged a system in which boys (with ages ranging from 8-12) were able to be ‘coupled’ by older men. There’s even Ancient Greek documents that show us how their parents used this bullshit to help their sons’ social status. Needless to say, there was a lot of demonic curses going around in Ancient Greek. I used up my quota then and had to call Abaddon for an extension. ↩︎

The commonly known phrase ‘The descent into Hell is easy’ drowns out a long-forgotten alternate; "facilius descensus fatuitas", which more or less translates to ‘Easier is the descent into foolishness’. ↩︎

My idea. Aden helped. ↩︎

Three things to do as I‌ wished on Aden’s part. Still got two to go. Details not privy. ↩︎

It took Aden a lot of convincing on my part for him to actually do something that wasn’t purely good and angelic in nature, but it worked. Mainly because we were bored, and we don’t have much to lose if our automatically-generated reports to our respective Head Offices don’t shine a good light on us. Besides, we made them forget their dreams, but retain the influence. ↩︎

I‌ mean, I‌ did, but… I‌ didn’t. You know? ↩︎

#lgbtq #lgbt #gay pride!#aden's an angel of heaven and he supports it #i'm a demon of hell and i support it #really you have no argument against NOT supporting it #pride #queer pride

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jbeshir · 6 years ago

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Why I Think Rationalist Self-Help Is Broken

So I was asked, fairly reasonably, after in my previous post I said I thought I might have had a narrow escape from a self-reinforcing set of bad approaches to mental health and executive functioning issues, what approaches I was thinking of, exactly.

This is a list of approaches I think are wrong, and the consensus around them in the self-help parts of the rationalist community (e.g. all the praxis/gnosis type channels I’ve encountered on rat!Discord) is a big part of why I no longer frequent those spaces and now consider myself rat!adjacent, centrally an EA, and more likely to pursue skeptic communities or other communities to try to find ones whose flaws I am happier living with, rather than expanding engagement with rationalist communities. Although I insist, as an unrepentant Yudkowskian, the rationalist community moved away from me and not visa versa.

If you’re a rationalist with “post rationalist” leanings who doesn’t want to read a list of reasons why I think you suck right now, I recommend not expanding this post; I’m going to try to be as polite as I can about it all and stuff, but at the end of the day the topic of the post is the topic of the post.

So, the approaches I think are bad, some with particular justification and some just by correlation to the rest.

Drug addiction/recreational drugs as coping mechanism. A bit ago I commented “alcoholism is cool so long as you swap out the drug”, sardonically, and someone responded to say that actually, they endorsed that, so this is an actual point of disagreement.

I think the primary problem with using incapacitating recreational drugs as a balm within your coping mechanism is that it provides an extremely good avenue for escapism, which is a really tempting way to buy a balm for today at the cost of tomorrow. Additionally, I think it readily leads to a thing where people can’t function sober because their coping strategy is unavailable, and can’t function high because, well, they’re high. And yet there is a lot of “oh, you feel bad? Let me help you get some weed”. Arguments about handling existing addicts aside, this is I think probably one of the ways people move into a rationalist cluster and then decline because of “helpful” peers sharing their escapism.

I miss straight-edge LW-rationality where my willingness to countenance alcohol put me at the questionable end of the spectrum.

A bunch of stuff tied up in the assumption that normal friendship and relationships are impossible for many people in the community and therefore people should be grateful to have friends and relationships at all. This particularly leads to the idea of the whole “catgirl” thing where you can apply any kind of costs to the people around you so long as you’re a catgirl for them, because both they and you assume that they can’t get friends anywhere else.

This is not actually true! Being friends with people who are... a bit high maintenance is great, but you shouldn’t do it out of the feeling that they are the only people who will be friends with you. It’s not true. and people shouldn’t feel like they can be as high maintenance as they want so long as they play catgirl.

When I got over this, approximately concurrent with me starting therapy and reinforced by an increase in RL socialisation they encouraged at the time, I flipped out a little and quit most of the circles I was in for a bit. I don’t need to be friends with people who borrow hundreds of pounds from me and have no shame about not paying it back to have friends, and any interactions with people who think I do are going to involve them taking liberties. I’m back in parts I like now, but without the previous “I need to cling to this community” feel.

Most stuff involved in thinking about social status and auras, and social reality, more likely if it promises to be looking at social reality for “real” when everyone else isn’t. These things are real, but... the only way I can really put the issue is... “wow, autistics are really bad at distinguishing between good and bad social models”. If the models pick up on one dynamic that a naive model doesn’t, they’re adopted without question, no matter what other cases they get wrong. And boy, do they get things wrong.

“Sometimes an impression of a person having an effective aura picks up on evidence that you would consciously miss about them being competent” => “The halo effect isn’t a bias anymore, it’s actually the correct way you should be approaching your decisions, your feels of a person’s aura is a better assessment of their competence than any assessments you might make away from those feels”, is every rationalist talking about how their in person interactions indicate a person actually has brilliant models despite everything they ever wrote being evaluated as awful when actually analysed blind. And it is frustrating as hell.

Auras and social reality offer a tempting opportunity to be the holders of a cynical secret, but taking that opportunity in no way requires people to actually adopt better models, and since the matter is complex enough that adopting better models is genuinely hard, that generally doesn’t happen. More common is brazen self-justification; the more you describe the rest of the world as sucking and focus on that the less your flaws show up relatively. The more you talk about your version of social reality, the less you have to pay attention to actual reality.

(I vaguely associate this stuff with Vassar’s group? But by now it’s the default.)

Trying to invent their own novel forms of therapy instead of (rather than as well as) going to actual therapists.

I think trying to execute therapy without being a therapist would be fair enough just because therapists are expensive, but some effort to actually be aware of what therapy generally entails rather than just sticking the name “therapy” on any series of actions you think is helpful would be good.

Hypnosis for mental health assistance and anything involved in exploiting suggestibility. This is mostly correlational- I observe a very strong correlation between cultivating suggestibility and a tendency to lack direction and an internal moral sense. But I also observe a lot of enthusiasm and no results, which is sufficient in itself to be dubious of it as a strategy.

Internal Family Systems; there’s a definite thing of temporarily disassociating to regain functionality temporarily I’ve seen people do which... I guess worked for them, I don’t want to recommend it but I can’t discourage it either.

But reifying things you are conflicted over into multiple personalities seems in the many cases I’ve seen it to let you keep both sides of the conflict, and I think that’s often not a good idea. The part of your thinking which is saying “actually, I don’t want to have this trait” should not be satisfied by being split off into a different personality unit than the trait.

I’m not sure it is something that can’t work to actually make progress in internal conflict, but I don’t think it looks like it is working the way I see it tried. I hear actual therapists touch on the concept, but I’d assign a probability of 80% that they do it different in a substantive manner.

I think peer support centred around validation has a tendency to validate behaving toxically. This isn’t rationalist exclusive, but is a problem with its self-improvement channels.

Separated out so you can more easily say you hate this bit while agreeing the above is bad: I also think it has a tendency to validate inaction. You don’t need to do X because Y. It’s okay to spend your time high because Z anyway. As a throwaway thing from a friend to a friend, well, there are worse crimes than bending epistemology while being supportive. As a culture, gets a bit crab bucket-y.

Part of the problem, I think, is that these traits tend to overlap and seem to reinforce each other. Once you get into some you get a bunch of the rest, and then you can’t update out because of the mutual reinforcement. The stuff you hear against your weed habit? Clearly just people manipulated by state propaganda trying to increase their own social standing. The stuff you hear against social power? It definitely seems to help in whatever hypnotic/suggestibility stuff you’re playing with. Why go to a therapist when they don’t understand social reality? And such. I never particularly bought into any of them, and am quite glad I did not.

I’ll mention messing with self-identity as something which is more good than bad. It doesn’t work, I think, if you detach yourself from reality enough that you can sustain a positive self-identity without actually... being positive, which is a problem that exists. It’s often done very poorly. But it’s still better than the way people readily self-identify as negative things by default. People are at least aware that negative identity is much more self-fulfilling than positive, and if you let something negative in there that wasn’t definitely true by accident then it will tend to become true.

Also, while I now no longer agree with the part of it based on IFS, I like the rest of the Luminosity sequence as a “soft sequence”, based on novel ideas, which I think is good for self-improvement; it focuses on self-observation to gain a more accurate self-model, and I think this largely works and is positive.

(On the Hammertime sequence in particular, I’ve not read it yet.)

#rationality #rationalists #rationality community #discourse

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theepitomeofsimplicite · 6 years ago

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Hi everyone,

I guess it’s never too late to wish you all a wonderful happy new year! Today, I’d love to take a moment to share my reflections on my best of 2018 travel. So, I am considering creating a series of posts in the upcoming weeks (YES! You read this. I am back to the grinds of writing and I am feeling super motivated) about sartorial-self editing and a follow up on continuing living my minimalist life.

The other day, a friend of mine who does not enjoy travel as much as I do recently asked me: ” What value does it bring to spend all your money in traveling so frequently?”

I paused for a brief moment and tried to recollect in my head all the countless unmeasurable benefits I gained from the experience of traveling. I’m thinking of adventures, freedom, and creating sweet memories with my favorite people. Mountains, road trips and singing cheesy songs in the car, big cities, beaches, lakes, wine country, night life, speak Spanish, fall in love… and so much more I mean where shall I begin…

Here are some advantages I can think of when it comes to why I value travelling as often as I can. To start with, there is an excitement and anticipation of planning a trip up front (read more about experientialism vs materialism post here). Looking forward to how we would imagine the journey. It gives room for creativity in deciding what activities to fill our days with.

Next, I learn to live more intentionally by pausing and being in the moment. I pay particular attention to small overlooked pleasures in life. I enjoy very much to be engaged with people in a genuine way by becoming a better active listener for instance when taking in to their stories. I experience more gratefulness. I like that my discovery mode is turned on (try new food, catch new sights, practice a new language sometimes, or embrace new cultures).

All in all, I find travelling to be important to me because it contributes to my self-improvement. All these reasons contribute towards my personal growth; my thoughts are influenced by a broader range of awareness of the world surrounding me, my habits are sometimes mimicking other’s cultural lifestyles, my learning is derived from my interactions with people and taking in their outlook on life, my beliefs are more grounded, and my thoughts are centered around creating a healthier and happier way of living. Let it be minimalism and zero waste lifestyle but these topics are worth detailing in separate posts.

Anza Borrego Desert/Julian, CA

After returning from my regular winter euro trip in the beginning of the year from Dresden and Paris, in February I went on a mini weekend road trip to Anza Borrego Desert. It’s only a two hour drive northeast of San Diego where I live and is located south east from Riverside and south of Palm Springs. The Anza Borrego Desert State Park isn’t too far from the Mount Jacinto Park where I hiked in the summer of 2017 (read here). It’s the largest park in California and has many wilderness areas as well as lots of hiking trails.

I picked the Palm Canyon trail where a minimum of climbing was involved (I love climbing!!!) and I was able to catch a sight at the primitive palm trees which are the tallest in California and are kept very wild and untrimmed. Down the oasis, I could hear from a far distance some buzzing sounds that resonated all around. As I was so curious to find out the origins of these croaks, I rushed down the river by climbing down the hiking trail in an off trail fashion (my adventurous side) to find some very cute tiny frogs under the rocks blending with the surroundings in the most perfect way.

All the climbing efforts were well worth! Then as the night quickly fell down, it’s how I got some very large and deep scars on my left forearm because I ran into a giant cactus on my way back up to the trail. Not very clever but I put the blame on my tomboy side! Later that evening on the way back to San Diego, a pit stop at Julian was required to have a taste of the well-known local apple pies and cider.

Los Angeles, CA

I drove to the city of angels and visited my friend Alexie (from UCLA) in the beginning of March as I needed to renew my passport at the French embassy. This was a two day trip but I really appreciated my time spent with her discussing various topics and you know just being women. Read more here where I talked about trying Tsukemen for the first time at Tsujita and a local’s brunch at Egg slut.

San Diego CRSSD FEST, CA

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This electronic, deep house, and techno festival is a traditional yearly thing I attend with my Persian buddies Arash and Massoud. Although I’ve tried to save a decent budget dedicated to music festivals for the year, I always seem to mess this up. But in any case, this is a sort of a mini Coachella and if you are in San Diego during March and September I recommend you guys to check it out because I like that it’s located by the waterfront and our dear Pacific Ocean.

Seoul/Busan, South Korea

In March, I was sent to South Korea for work (second time around and read first impression of the previous strip here). I stayed in Seoul and enjoyed this trip very much particularly as I didn’t end up having to do too much work at the customer site for once. But differently than last time, I decided to gather a team and explore South Korea away from the city center of Seoul. So we took the train to visit Busan.

Busan is a very large port city and is well known for its beaches, mountains, and temples. I enjoyed hanging out at the Haeundae beach with the young crowded locals and shot some fireworks. Later that night, the team composed of the new Dutch girlfriend Anne and another colleague, Robin who is Irish, went on bar hoping and met a friendly group of enthusiastic high energy good vibe young Koreans. We befriended right away with songs like Gangnam style and other classics.

We were then invited to a Karaoke bar and sung our heart out til about 8 am the following day. We actually made a reservation at a hostel nearby but needless to mention how pissed off the receptionist was as we had a very very very late check in that dragged her out of the bed. I know this was messed up but our new Korean friends helped us get to stay in to rest for the remaining duration of 2 hours, which was barely enough sleep but we needed to catch the train back to Seoul and I had to fly back afterwards.

The best part of this trip I think came from the idea that propelled me to go to Busan in the first place. The ultra fresh seafood and sashimi. I watched a documentary online where I saw a man trying to experience the “live” sashimi fish in Busan and choked on it. He became so red and almost died. I thought the idea of trying something so “fresh” would have made a fun challenge so I set my mind to experience it too at the Jagalchi Market, the world famous market for fresh fish and seafood. Robin and I got to try it but I barely survived. Personally though I wouldn’t do it again haha.

Another crazy experience was found at this local BBQ restaurant where I had fresh grilled eel for the first time ever. It goes without saying how painful that was visually and the taste was stringent. Have you ever eaten a whole eel? I’m not speaking of the little piece of eel that is place with a generous amount of Teriyaki sauce on the sushi but the whole fish. It’s so bony and crunchy towards the tail. I also would detail the part where the fish are taken from the aquarium then processed in front of your attentive eyes.

The cook knock the head of the eel using the back of the knife then begins to skin off the fish by removing the spinal column. The sound was draconian. The fish is then cut up into chunks. Later the pieces are laid on the plate ready to be grilled but the heads also come together. The visual still hurts me by just typing these lines but please skip this section if you are too sensitive sorry. As the brains were trying to pump blood through, and while Robin was devouring the body from the grill (personally I couldn’t do it), the mouth of the fish was left wide opened as a reaction to the loss of oxygen. I still remember vividly the horrified faces of the fish. In any case, this experience was quite unique but I’m still glad I got to see how life was like in Busan with the locals.

Saratoga/NYC, NY and Montreal, Canada

After my trip to South Korea, I was supposed to take some time off to stop by Japan to hang out with a friend I met during CRSSD fest but to my disappointment I had to fly straight away to New York for work again. This trip was rather unique because it’s where I met my crush there (blushing). But nothing surprising it’s just a crush and nothing more and you’ll read more about this Dutchie later 😉 Besides, work was very interesting there and the weather was ruthlessly cold with above the knee level of snow. Time working there was passing by so quickly as my best friend Mark (we work together) was also on site for work and we got to hang out a bunch.

In Albany we had Tanpopo Jakarta ramen. If you are curious about ramen, head over to my blog on ramen critic around the globe @ramencraycray. We ate at Vintage House and had interesting fried oyster sandwiches at Albany Ale & Oyster. We also hung out quite a bit in Saratoga Springs where we visited the Historic Congress Park to sip on the spring water. Had drinks at this hispter jazz playing live music at Morrissey’s and dined at the Wine Bar.

During this trip, I took the opportunity to drive to cross the border and visit Montreal. I had to make a pit stop at this gentleman’s house located in the beautiful town of Saratoga Springs. I met this older writer named Paul on the plane (yes for many of you who know me, I meet a bunch of folks on the plane and it’s not hard trust me!). We discuss many topics among writing and blogging as well as feminism and life in Paris compared with New York. We promised to give each other feedback from his book titled “Learning the Learner” while he reads my blog, this one.

He kindly invited me over to his house for breakfast along with a tour at the Spring Street Gallery which was a converted church located in front of his house. I had an immense pleasure in meeting his amazing awe inspiring wife Barbara (@blglaser5150). She is the woman I aspire to become when I get more mature. She has accomplished so much to become financially independent, in raising her Korean adopted daughter and her work in Natural State Park conservation, and now is a philanthropist. I was more than glad to have the chance to meet people like them and to share our stories. I felt so empower to continue my pursuit in advancing technology and to become as independent as she is someday. I also wish to further contribute to society just how she does it.

Ok so, now let’s talk about Montreal shall we? The road was very beautiful on my way there all covered in snow and I can easily glimpse at the mountain ranges during my three hour long drive. I stayed at Le Saint Sulpice hotel that was simply scrumptious located in Old Town. As I stepped out into town, I was clearly experiencing a wardrobe malfunction; I wore my long white Korean coat with a pair of jeans, a jumper, a beanie, scarf, and a pair of leather gloves. Evidently I froze to death within 15 minutes of walk in the blazing -15C.

So I rushed to the nearest neighborhood bar at the pub le Saint-Elisabeth. I met a new friend at the bar named Francois who was kind to show me locals spots around the well-known avenue du Mont Royal and had delicious poutine. The next day, I met up with my cousin who I haven’t seen in about 20 years (long time!!!) to catch up. We walked through the underground pass to go to the mall just like how the Quebecois shop to avoid peaking your nose out into the cold. She offered me some of the best ice wines ever. I feel very grateful!

On my last weekend there, I was meeting up with an old friend and together drove to NYC passing through the Lincoln tunnel. That was a hell of a lot of fun with lots of dancing, some ramen, and a copious amount of drinks and sightseeing. Make sure to read more about this city here.

West Coast Road Trip (Joshua Tree Park, CA/LA, CA/Big Sur, CA/Big Basin Redwood Park, CA/SF, CA/Newport, OR/Seattle, WA/Mt Adams, WA/Corvallis, OR)

In May, our birthday month, my sister (@dithy_f) from Paris and I got into my white Golf and drove along the USA West Coast. One of the best road trips ever yet! Read more here for part 1. Part 2 filled with more stories should be coming around soon so stay tune. In this case, I’ll skip here to the next trip below…

San Elijo Beach, CA

One of the best perks I enjoy about living in San Diego is that the county is so vast in its surface area that driving 30 to 40 minutes along the coast from where I live seems like a travel destination even though it’s technically still San Diego. We were camping there together with this really awesome girl Jenny (@nurse_jenny) (I met at a party and she had all the gut to just ask for my number and befriended instantly) and my friend Stephen (from work) who was set to take a year off to travel the world. I had an amazing weekend there grilling sausages and I even had some fun creating a beach bum beauty tutorial that can be found on my Instagram stories.

Ensenada/Tijuana, Mexico

I love spontaneous impromptu trips like this in the summer. Mexican friend Guerardo invited me over to tag along on his weekend getaway trip to Mexico. Singing along Felices Los 4 and Dura omg! We took the Ruta del vino to visit and wine taste at L.A. Cetto. We brunched at Bodegas del Valle, a secret local spot. We later that night played dominos then poker getting drunk on some tequila Reposado. The next day, we were beach ready to get some tan at Playa Hermosa in Explanadas. Afterwards, we had some of the best margheritas at Bar Andaluz and the best tacos ever are found at the world renown Anthony Bourdain approved Sabina Restaurante. Later, on our way back to the US, we had to stop by Tijuana where we got a roof top drink at Cine Tonala and played games.

Tel Aviv, Israel

During the summer, I traveled to Tel Aviv for the first time to visit my friend Tom. I know many of you already know how I met Tom and how I ended up in Dresden in the winter of 2017 but just for the sake of sharing with everyone. On my way to Amsterdam from Minnesota, I think that was in the summer of 2017 I happen to sit next to this blue eye guy with a quirky smile on this face. I think he started the conversation with an ice breaker question. So tips to you guys, if you are happen to sit next to a stranger on the plane and would like to make new friends, don’t put your headphones on, smile, and ask whether your flight neighbor is heading back home or visiting. This ice breaker question always works for me 🙂 So as we talked and laughed throughout our 8 hour long trip. We exchanged our contact information but before that he managed to convince me to meet again either in Tel Aviv and/or Dresden for the winter holidays.

And in truth eventually, I ended up meeting him in both cities haha. I flew to Dresden in December of 2017 from Paris because (this is a true story haha) my sister was too busy to host me during the weekday and (sadly) she is also a type A woman so she made it clear that I was on my own. Then I simply phoned Tom to check his whereabouts then booked a ticket at the airport from CDG, took the metro to Orly then flew to Dresden straight away. I actually don’t recommend anyone to fly that much in a day (4 back to back flights) but I’m still glad I made it out there. I stayed at Tom’s friend’s Matthias (a German cutie), and we got to visit the beautiful city (old and new neighborhood), did some thrift shopping as I was travelling without proper winter gears (got as scarf and beanie), and even attended an opera. The museums there were very impressive and boy I love the Christmas market to grab some warm German sweet bread, some wurst, and a sip of the delicious gluhwein (even gluhbier).

Well, I’m digressing now sorry so back to Tel Aviv! Tom and I stayed at another of Tom’s friend’s apartment nearby the beach in Yaffa area. Hillel is such a smart and funny guy. He’s very thoughtful too! I recall how before I’d get up in the morning, a warm freshly baked pastry was awaiting for me on the kitchen counter. He was temporarily being a dog daddy to Indie so I lucked out in meeting them because I had so much fun hanging out with these mischief later in the Old City. This vibrant place is full of craft shops and art galleries, and stalls selling antiques and jewelry at the lively Jaffa Flea Market.

There are some Ottoman influences such as the Clock Tower. We walked around and spotted an outdoor venue filled with folks dancing on Arab music after crossing the Wishing Bridge. The area is also popular for its hip wine bars, creative Mediterranean dining and seafood restaurants near Jaffa Port. There is such a wide mix of culture and we got together for drinks at the Shaffa bar with Stefania, her bf and friend. Well, how I met Stefania was also on a plane ride from JFK to Tel Aviv haha. We sat next to each and became friends instantly. And so we just had to meet up in town!

Then Hillel wanted to take us to his favorite secret spot that offers a unique view over the Jaffa port but on the opposite side. Recall when I called Hillel and Indie the little pair of mischief well, to get to that safely guarded spot required illegal climbing over a fence then a wall hmmm the challenge came from having our little four legged Indie with us but we still proceeded with climbing with the adventurous dog friend. It was so worth it as we could catch a glimpse in the quiet night and only hearing the waves crashing on the rocks and just taking in the beautiful sights and being in the moment.

I have a few tips on Tel Aviv for you guys if you are interested, drop a comment below. I personally really enjoy going to the outdoor markets like the Carmel market where Tom and I met up with another of Tom’s friend named Roy. He had bought some delicious cheese and we improvised a French picnic with a bottle of red (of course!) and laid around in the neighborhood park, while dog petting.

I only stayed 4 days in Tel Aviv and wished to road trip to Jerusalem but due to the unbearable heat wave, I’ll postpone this trip to another time. So next on my way to Amsterdam, I had a quick overlay in Rome. Unfortunately I couldn’t hang out with my dear friend Rita but had (yes another) interesting encounter on the plane. An older Italian gentleman who is a professor in Chemistry and avid alternative renewable energy especially in clean gas was my neighbor. He had mistaken me as a model haha. But to his disappointment I had to break it to him that I was just an engineer.

We talked for a long while about renewable energy and the new tech trends. Once we landed in Fuimicino, he kindly offer to continue our conversations over at the lounge. I personally love to converse with passionate folks. Side note by the way, a handful of people either border patrol agents or people I bumped into during my flights tend to believe I’m some model. Can it be because of my leather jacket, my casual effortless airport style or is it? Regardless, I’m utterly flattered but (shrugging) would love to know why…

Amsterdam/Eindhoven/Heusden, The Netherlands

I arrived in Amsterdam to meet up with Silvana (@saisonlune) the birthday girl. She’s taken me to the north of Amsterdam so we took the ferry where we can sight the beautiful A’dam Toren from Centraal Station. We had a snack at FC Hyena where it has movie theater and great food. The décor is industrial but with lots of quirky colors. Afterwards, we headed next door to the Hotel de Goudfazant. This place used to be a car garage so don’t be surprised if you are dining next to cars inside the space.

The following day, I also got to meet Jessica from Daarboven and stroll around Amsterdam. We had a pit stopped at my fav Scandinavian shop Filippa K where I got a couple of essential garments (a nice cropped wool jacket and a pair of simple blue denim, read here).

We sipped on some fancy drinks at the Hoxtel lounge, grabbed ramen at Fou Fow Ramen then devour some explosive chocolate at the Michelin starred Duchess .

In Eindhoven, I always enjoy staying at my bestie Joffrey. I also took some time to say hi to Adri from Chanel. She created a new look for me and left with many goodies she gathered for me. In the afternoon, Jo organized a mini road trip to Heusden for a getaway. Walking around there was very relaxing to see the lashing green surrounding and the famous windmills. In the village we grabbed some red and some bread (I love Dutch breads). Later in the evening Jo and I met up with Yohann (our betstie) to grab an apero at his house.

Then we all met up with the other guys for Lepeltje Lepeltje, a food fest in Eindhoven with live music and yummy ice creams. Later than night we all hung out at our regular Irish pub Oshea’s where a few more people are set to come by. One person was the German cutie I was seeing on the date during lunch time at one of my fav brunch spot called Krok Madame. The other person was my Dutch crush and well needless to mention how melodramatic this all resulted and of course I’ve never intended anything as such to take place.

Chinon/Vendée Road Trip, France

It’s still summer and I was on my way to Paris now to get with my sister then we picked up my mom to go onto our yearly road trip. We stopped by the wine country region as always. I’ve notice my friends recently called me “Wine Privileged” and I am beginning to be more grateful from my upbringing and the fact that my parents’ house is located in one of the most amazing wine country region of France. And so we are in Chinon and visiting the Cave Monplaisirs.

The lady owner was formidable in presenting the wine selection with exquisite details of the terrain, the grapes provenance and mixes. This is how I get wine educated by going on a variety of wine tasting and having great conversations. She also kindly offered us an extra bottle (we had to keep it quiet on the gift haha) simply because she enjoyed sharing a great conversation too! We set up our picnic by the Loire river with great sight, a fresh summer breeze, and amazing wine paring (Les Picasses from 2016).

My sister and I rented a beautiful beach house in the Vendée region with a big pool by Saint-Jean-de-Mont beach. We had a lovely time with my mom swimming , BBQ, and just chilling in town. We did a bit of sightseeing but the best experience was going to the oysters’ market casually located in various parts of the roads there called le Délit. I believe to have found the best tasting oysters in my entire life! I stoke a conversation with the bar owner sharing with him my USA stories and then he pointed out that an LA designer was painting the walls of the place. Have a look as it’s pretty quirky. Another good time (yes it’s again about food) was going to Noirmoutier to bunch at Michelin starred or recommended restaurants like L’ilot Bleu. Next stop was a flower park (my mom is a lotus enthusiast) called the Parc Floral de la court d’Aron where we spent a day there having a little French picnic.

Paris, France

This city is always crazy and has the most fun parties. I hung out with the Parisian crew (a bunch of finance folks who prize on expensive champagne bottles. Yeah I know it’s just another life style) and caught up with Taler (@nomadicfille). We had ramen again but this time at Hokkaido.

The following day we went to the street food fest in Place République. Then, we headed towards the roof top at the Art et Métiers hotel. Needless to mention, there was a gorgeous view over the city of Light and the flashing Eiffel Tower but what caught my attention was this cutie sitting right next to me from another group of Parisians. We had a great conversation but I must be so naïve in too many ways, I didn’t realize he was a catch haha. But it’s all good we are friends on Instagram, does that count?

Los Angeles, CA

In September after getting back to San Diego, the following weekend I got on the road towards Vegas, the sin city. But I thought I’d stop by and say hi to my friend Alexie (if you don’t remember her, I had a post on LA here). We caught up over dinner, girls talk then the following day brunched at our favorite place in Abbott Kinney called Gjelina. A bit of window shopping but then it was time for me to get back on the road already.

Vegas/Valley of Fire Road trip, NV

Hanging out with Jo and catching up with his dad I haven’t seen in a couple of years was fun. In short, Fermont experience, losing money gambling, getting fancy drinks at the casino, and hiking in the heat of the Valley of Fire where we almost passed out. I recommend everyone who is passing by Vegas to go check out this out of the ordinary red-bricked landscape. It’s truly breath taking how arid the climate is but how the rock formations come together is pretty amazing.

Big Bear, CA

This road tripping to camping with Arash was in late September so it was indeed freezing cold. We were out of Vodka to keep us warm so in the process I lost my toes overnight for about 8 hours then recovered. The Castle Rock trail hike by Big Bear Lake was pretty intensive in climbing but the view we could catch on top was all worth it with a breathtaking forest views, rock structures, and a distant lake.

Lake Tahoe, CA

Next road trip was made during the thanksgiving holidays. It was very adventurous on the long drive there from San Diego to Lake Tahoe especially in the freezing night. Just had to pick up Massoud along the way in Orange County. As we approached the mountain ranges, we found out too tardily that the snow chains were undersized so we decided to simply deflate the tires in order to create more traction. (3 engineers getting together that’s how things go often!).

London, England

I haven’t been back since a couple of years ago so I was glad to stop by London in December and catching up with my dear Jackie (@passyjacqueline). What I retained the most from being there was experiencing Tinder dating together haha. I recall vividly on one of the bus rides in London City where Jackie and I were eye on out phones swiping left and occasionally right on the app then suddenly we heard 3 older gentlemen exclaiming right behind us “But you keep on swiping left!” hahaha I’ll omit the Brit accent but I couldn’t help than to crack up. It’s an observation that it seems everyone young and old men and women everywhere across the globe is searching for love though this dating tool.

I really enjoyed the low key local hangout (will do a map later if you are interested for I have some tips!) and art exhibits. We went to Blain Southern and checked out the “Between the lines” of Chiharu Shiota and the drawings of Jonas Burget. Indeed, I’d rather avoid doing tourist traps cos I just wanted to create memories being with my dear friend in the most humbling way. Some of the cool places I went to are Tonkotsu ramen, Oslo Hackney bar and club, Blighty Tottenham for brunch, Pop Brixton for the hispter hang out and drinks food hall style, Ace hotel in Shoreditch for a fancy drink at the lounge. For a nice walk I went to Borough market (my fav) and had tapas at Tapas Brindisa. Roof tops I went to Sushi Samba which offers a great view of the Gherkin. Lastly, Jaaguarshoes Collective is a local hang out for casual drinks.

Amsterdam/Eindhoven/The Hague, The Netherlands

Going to Holland is always about catching up with everyone. I also flew from London to Amsterdam as cheap as 37 euro that’s why I love travelling within Europe because of the ease of transport. I’m typically staying at Joffrey’s house in Eindhoven. We always cozy up on his velvet couch in the late evening watching our fav old French show Kaamelott. In the evening I had dinner with my old friend Alain who is half Dutch and half French. We checked out the new hot spot called Kazerne which had a lovely exhibit.

This time I was in Amsterdam meeting up with Jessica. We always have planned for me to go visit the museum where she works at but every time I’m arriving by train so late in the afternoon that I keep missing out. Bummer! However, we grabbed a local Thai food where there was probably 5 tables. It was so tiny but the food was good. We then intended to go for a quick shop to Filippa K (one of my fav shops) but it had already closed by 7 pm.

Next, we just continued strolling around what I find to be the romantic Amsterdam with the light exhibits on the canals. We grabbed some drinks at the Hoxton lounge (one of my fav places to go chill in Amsterdam), and then she insisted on grabbing another drink at a club I’ve never been to, which was ChinChin. There was a karaoke bar, restaurant, and club all in one place. I like catching the train back with her and just keep on conversing about life, our careers, blogging, shopping, personal style, and recently about our love life, dating, and relationships. Needless to mention how glad I am to have getting to know her.

The following day I caught an early train ride from Eindhoven to The Hague to grab brunch with the crew made of Kimberley, Silvana, and finally got to meet Sebastian. We chatted and laughed about everything at the local brunch names Bartine. It was good to see them all. Then afterwards, I had the honor to stroll around the Hague with Sebastian as my personal tour guide. He was showing me the old government buildings, describing the architectural styles, and the history behind them.

And it was already time to head back to Eindhoven to meet up for dinner with other friends. So the lovely Anne showed up with Joffrey. Unfortunately, my friend from work Sander (a Belge guy) and his wife couldn’t stay late into the evening as they have a little toddler to attend to so I only got to see them very briefly. The next day which was Saturday, Jo and I packed our bags, got into the car and set our GPS direction towards Paris to meet up with my sister for a late brunch.

Paris, France

Ahhh Paris is always my fav place in the world! Always crazy and fun at the same time with my lovely sis Britney and the Parisian crew. You probably may have noticed but I also avidly avoid tourristy areas there. I always prefer our local hang outs or discover new hot spots that most tourists are unaware of. We hung out in the newly trend food hall style La Félicita, had a bite and a few drinks then danced our night away.

We also celebrated New Year’s eve in our own terms. No rules nor tips to follow. We simply created our own way of having a great time. No overpriced club tickets bought online, no house party on our agenda. Remember that the best plan is no plan after all. We just walked up towards the Champs-Elysee then grabbed food and drinks at the Beer Station.

The area had been blocked off for the fire work show around the arc de Triomphe but we were located right at the edge of the landmark. Stayed warm, had food and cheering on red wine then champagne, watching the fireworks all in safety and warmth instead of mingling with the crowds on the Champs-Elysee avenue where it was counted that over 150,000 people attended the event. We took the party further towards Pigalle area at the Carmen club where we met the cutie barman Romeo who had a generous amount of dating advice to give away haha.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get much free time at hand to see the group of Paris girls (sorry! Next time for sure!) but got to do a quicky apero at Taler’s house. I got to meet her boyfriend, her cousin from the US, and her other friends. My sister later showed up too!

Tours, France

This was a truly special trip into the wine country of Loire Valley. Typically every time I visit my parents’ house in the Center of France, we’d stop by the neighboring area to go wine tasting and coming back home with boxes of a variety of wines. We are also very intimate with the wine makers of the region so it’s always a pleasure to say hi. But this time, I’d convinced my sister and our friend Aja to come along with me to visit the Tours region and meet up with Antoine at the Domaine de Cray.

It was a lovely wine tour into the sparkling white wine production, the famous Cremant de Loire, where he was showing us the art of riddling wine a la méthode Champenoise. He was showing up the assembly line with some level of automation for the first fermentation to take place where the natural sugar from the grapes are converted into alcohol and letting the carbon dioxide escape from the bottle and makes the base wine or the cuvée. It’s not usually very tasty as it is very acidic. Antoine showed us where these cuvée were stored in those large chambers and even had a sip of it together with the tuxedo cat who serves as great company. I recommend anyone to stop by this winery!

If you made it to read this line, well thanks for reading my stories. Let me know if you enjoy these narratives as much as I do or rather want tips for travel but either way don’t hesitate to drop a comment and I’ll look forward to your inputs.

Best of 2018 Travel Hi everyone, I guess it's never too late to wish you all a wonderful happy new year!

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ievani-e · 6 years ago

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Body Positivity: What Does That Mean When You Have Body Dysphoria?

I was inspired to write this post after I saw a friend post a new status on her Facebook timeline, encouraging body positivity. Her post read:

“With my body I can do what I want: I can walk; I can run; I can jump; I can swim; sometimes I can fly; I can perceive; I can hug; I can kiss; I can eat; I can dance; I can listen; I can talk; I can think. So why the hell should I care how it looks like?! Standing up against an ideal appearance and resulting disorders!”

I agreed with the general point she was making: our bodies are very useful things! Even if you are disabled in some way, and as such perhaps cannot do all of the things mentioned above, our body is nevertheless the vessel which carries us through this world and allows us to experience it. Whatever our own personal situation or identity, without a physical body enabling us to carry out or actions and exert our will upon the world, we wouldn’t be able to interact with the world around us. It’s important to celebrate all the good things our body does for us, even if we don’t necessarily like each and every single thing about it.

This viewpoint was also shared by Sarah Garone in an article she wrote for Healthline titled How I’m Learning to Make Peace with the One Body Part I Hate. It makes for a very interesting read and I whole-heartedly recommend it. (Click the title for the link.)

However, the idea of “loving your body” and “not caring what it looks like” is a lot easier for some than for others. It’s especially difficult if you are transgender and experience a lot of dysphoria related to specific aspects of your body. So I wanted to expand upon my friend’s post by agreeing with her overall point of encouraging body positivity, love, and acceptance; but also making sure I included a positive message for transgender people experiencing bodily dysphoria. I didn’t want the only take away to be “be grateful for what you have, love your body for what it is, and learn to be happy with it”, because that is not the only interpretation and that is not the only way to be body positive.

Body positivity does mean loving your body — but loving your body doesn’t mean only one thing to everyone, and it doesn’t take only one form. Much like bodies themselves, the approach that you take to your own body is not one-size-fits-all. There are lots of different ways to express positivity about our bodies. We can choose to focus on the things we do like, rather than those we don’t; we can focus on celebrating the utility of the body, instead of putting ourselves down based on the way it happens to look; it can mean accepting things as they are; or it can mean changing or working on the things we don’t like, so that we do like it more.

Learning to love yourself doesn’t just have to mean accepting everything the way it is. It can also mean resolving to make changes to your body so that we feel better about our bodies and more comfortable in and of ourselves. Those changes can be very big, but they can also be very small. Although we might not be able to control everything about our bodies and we might not be able to make them completely perfect in our own eyes, we do at least have some measure of control over our own bodies and our own appearance — and we have the right to exert that control as we see fit.

I believe in the individual being free to express themselves and being free to change their own body/appearance if they want to, in a way that feels right to them: whether that means going to the gym to slim down/buff up; using make-up to change the shape or contour of your face, or get your eyes and lips just the way you like; changing your hairstyle or the colour of your hair to something else you like more; wearing different clothes; getting tattoos or piercings; experimenting with binders or packers to create a different silhouette; or medically transitioning with the help of surgery or hormone replacement therapy. Whatever it is that makes you feel more like you!

The important thing, to me, is doing what makes you happy. That will mean different things for everyone and manifest itself in different ways. Likewise, if people are unhappy with their bodies, I don’t want them to think that they don’t have any choice over their appearance, or that there is nothing they can do to lessen the dysphoria they feel except to come to terms with their bodies just the way they are. I personally know a few well-meaning family members and friends who have expressed views along the line of, “You should just love yourself the way you are!” or “Why can’t you be happy being yourself?” I’m not even medically transitioning myself; but there are other things I want to do to be in control of my own body and my own gender expression, like experiment with hair and clothes and binders. What they don’t seem to understand is that I am experimenting with my gender presentation because I love myself, and want to find something that feels right for me instead of wrong. But I know that that isn’t possible for everyone; I know that the dysphoria runs far deeper for some than others, and a social transition or change of presentation isn’t enough.

Because of this, rather than ask everyone to love their body for all the good things it offers and to only focus on the good instead of the bad (which nevertheless still is a valid approach; it’s just one of many, and if it works for you, I’m glad!), I favour a more nuanced approach. I favour focusing on your own relationship with your own body, and doing what is right for you to feel happier, healthier and more comfortable in your own body. Whether you decide to embrace your body as-is, adopt a different mind-set when thinking about it, or want to make changes, it is something you should do for you; not for anyone else. Just as long as it’s what you want to do — not what you feel you “should” do or “have to” do for any other reason, or for anyone else’s sake but your own. This applies to everyone — not just transgender people.

Obviously, there are positive, healthy and constructive ways to go about seeking to alter your appearance; and some negative, unhealthy and destructive ways to go about it as well if you are doing the wrong thing for the wrong reasons. That is when it becomes disordered. The examples I mentioned above are all low-impact, constructive, and could be adopted straight away (with the exception of medical transitioning, which is more involved); but if you take more drastic approaches, such as depriving yourself of food, engaging in excessive exercise or causing yourself harm, that is a lot more destructive and not what I am advocating for here. The difference between the two (positive vs negative; healthy vs unhealthy; constructive vs destructive) is whether what you’re doing is rooted in love and the pursuit of well-being for yourself and your body, or if it’s rooted in hatred or disgust for yourself and your body. But, assuming you do love yourself and want the best for yourself, then what that means or what form it takes should be something you are able to decide for yourself.

Riley J. Dennis has a great video about body positivity and the things you can do to increase your own sense of comfort and well-being within your body if you want to, and she makes the point much better than I do. Her video, Are trans people allowed to be body positive?, does approach body positivity from a transgender perspective, as I am doing here; but I think the take-away could equally apply to everyone. (Click the title for the link.)

Whatever form body positivity takes for you, love should always be what guides our way. I agree with the general premise of my friend’s Facebook post that there is no one “right” way to look; there is no “universal standard” that every single person should, or even could, conform to. Additionally, our appearance might disappoint us sometimes. Our body itself might let us down or hold us back in some way, be that due to our biological sex, mental or physical health, disability, or other conditions. But even so, body positivity is a concept we all can practice. We are all different; we are all beautiful; everyone is unique and worthy of love and acceptance. We would all benefit if we strive to love ourselves for ourselves, rather than comparing ourselves to others or to some imagined “ideal”. We would all benefit if we strive to accept those things about ourselves we cannot change, and aim to change those we feel we can. Everyone’s needs are different, so there are no absolutes here; we need to take it on a case-by-case basis and do what is right for ourselves.

It’s also worth pointing out that, a lot of the time, the “others” we’re comparing ourselves to don’t like the way they themselves look, either! There’s bound to be something they don’t like about themselves, too. We are each always harshest on ourselves most of all; yet are more open to accepting others exactly the way they are. We don’t tend to critique others anywhere near as much as ourselves. Even those we idealise are guilty of this, and they, too, think that they themselves are ugly while everyone else is beautiful. According to this line of thinking, everyone thinks everyone else is beautiful and fine the way they are while thinking themselves ugly and lacking in some respect — which means no-one actually feels beautiful and “enough”, despite being thought of as beautiful and enough by others.

So if, recognising that, we could turn that same acceptance and positivity we bestow upon others upon ourselves as well — if we could love ourselves, the same way we love our own friends and loved ones — that would go a long way towards finding happiness within ourselves, and making peace with our own bodies; which, as I said at the start, may not be perfect, but… they do do a lot for us, and they deserve some credit. With that in mind, let’s focus on the things you can do; not the things you can’t.

Laverne Cox has said it, and I’ll say it again: “You gotta be your own best friend and treat yourself with respect!”

(Art by chibird. Link to the original post here!)

#body positivity #dysphoria #be your own best friend #do what feels right for you #queers on tumblr

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thekirstenkhaye · 6 years ago

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infinities x wormholes (SETBACKS)

I honestly have no idea how to start this. So I guess if this intro sucks, you know now why. LOL.

I’m still not sure how to begin this to be frank but yes, of course, I know I need to start somewhere anytime soon and stop beating around the bush.

Setbacks.

Let’s start with this word because if you’ve got to read the very first blog I posted this year, you will already have an idea of why this word made it to the title of this blog post. And if you haven’t read that yet, well, go to that post first and read it. I linked it on the word ‘Setbacks’ above. This post will make more sense if you do that first. I swear. Although, of course, if you don’t want to be bothered, just continue reading, and PLEASE HAVE AN OPEN MIND while reading this entire entry. Okay? Thank you. Because we need to be mature here if we are going to do this together ^.^

Now let’s get this straight on. I’ve been engaged since late 2016, I just said on my previous blog post that it’s late 2017 because we only started making serious wedding and finally settling down together kind of plans half way through 2017. Yes, I know, it may sound like we’re not taking it that seriously to just plan and make everything work on a short amount of time. And I won’t lie, so yes, that is probably one of the few reasons why the wedding didn’t push through this year. It’s simple, we’re obviously not ready for it. You know, emotionally, YES OF COURSE WE ARE DEFINITELY INTO IT. There’s no argument there, and whoever you ask from the both of us about it, we won’t think twice for the answer. However, ladies and gentlemen, we are living in the real world here and not in some chick flick movie hence there are some adult stuff and real shits that we have to handle that you know, we didn’t expect that will hit our unpreparedness real hard.

So now, you might wonder how I felt after everything. Well, I guess I’ll have to say first how we came up with the decision of postponing it and all the jazz of handling the aftermath of the postponed wedding.

Well, okay, you see, this blog post was a bit hard for me to write and you know, put more of my feelings out there when I wasn’t even sure of what I was feeling. It’s been almost 2 months already since I started constructing this, but now that it’s officially one week before our 3rd year anniversary, I know exactly what to put on here.

I realized, for over a month of trying to finish this entry, this is just how far I’ve come to. Not even ¼ through with what I want to share. Actually “would’ve” now since part of my realization before finishing and posting this on here, is that, you know, I don’t really like the idea anymore of putting my life out here. Especially my lovelife. First of all, because it slid my mind that Gravity is a very private person and to be honest, so far, I’ve loved how the privacy of our relationship feels like. It feels more secure. If that makes any sense.

NO FRET, though. This post will still have something in it. I’ll still share my thoughts about our relationship. It may not be that detailed but I promise I’ll be sharing an honest to God feelings and thoughts of mine.

Let me just answer the question of how we’ve got to agree to postpone the wedding I think. That’s much better to start with, yeah?

So this is how it went. Gravity and I have known each other for almost 4 years now which technically to be honest makes us to have been dating for over 3 years already. But then again, we just knew for ourselves I guess that we would need to make a sturdy foundation first if we both want a serious and committed romantic relationship with each other. And yeah, in 6 months from when we first met online, I think we did just that in the best way we can. Unintentionally, but obviously it worked for us after all. Hence when he’s frustrated, or you know, agitated about something, I can almost instantly sense it. And yes, even despite the distance, I just can, okay? That’s why when he was acting like that one week (or maybe over a week) before his arrival here back in May, I just knew that we’ll be talking about some serious shit. As expected by yours truly, one day, it happened. He was the one who brought it up first. Yow girl though, being the cancer (like the zodiac sign, okay?) that I am, of course got upset and said some stuff that well, I guess pretty unnecessary but still never regretted anything I said that time though cause a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, you know. I needed that sudden outburst for me to get myself together and you know, collect myself after a bit of lashing out. In my defense, it’s not that I was so mean to him but I did act like a bitch. LOL. I asked him nicely though to give me some space and all that jazz for me to think about it.

After a few hours (or was it just even less than an hour? LOL not sure anymore), I got myself collected, and told him…yes, I’ll be quoting myself cause it’s cringey as f*ck, so here you go. LOL. I said, and I quote, “You know what’s worse? You gave me a date, you gave me hope, and you gave me something to look forward to.” And so on and so forth. Just know that I did lash out before that part. Like it’s a 10 chat bubbles comprised at least 100-200 words each. There’s even this CRINGY ASS BUBBLE WITH WORDS IN CAPSLOCK. Like everything in it and I quote again, “I HAD MY FUTURE SO CLEAR TO ME ALREADY *HIS NAME*. WITH YOU, TOGETHER WHERE WE GET TO HAVE A HOME, WHERE I CAN FINISH A DEGREE WHILE YOU GET TO YOUR HIGHEST POTENTIAL IN YOUR CAREER, AND WHERE I CAN TRULY BE HAPPY ONCE AND FOR ALL.” Yes, I know, cringey and cringy all at the same time. Now y’all know now, don’t let your happiness be a person nor like just a mere plan. Just BE happy. No hows, whens nor whys. Even buts actually, don’t ever do that. Or you’ll end up just like me. I mean, it’s not that I didn’t know all of that before we had the plan of getting married or whatnot. It’s just that, you know, even if you know for yourself what is right for you, in times like what happened to me and if you’re as weak as me, it will surely slip your mind and you’ll just be that one petty person who’ll just be living in his/her own fairytale.

But I did end my verses with a very light note though, and I quote once again, “I know our lives are stressing us out right now. Yes, it’s overwhelming to the point that we’ll really get to question if we’re doing this the right way. But please, think of how long we’ve waited for this time to come. Our individual agony because distance is keeping us apart and we can’t be there for each other when we both really need at least just a hug for comfort. But again, as I said up there, I’m not going to force you to continue the wedding if you’re really not ready yet though. Just tell me ASAP lolz so I can go back to work than doing nothing.” And sent that with a laughing emoji. That easy. Although I must say that I did really feel so heavy that time. Which is reasonable too, I guess during those moments. HAHA.

Now though, that I’ve already seen the silver lining of the wedding getting postponed (?), I do really think that I was being such an irrational girl. Like I was seriously just being a girl who’s complaining of how her happily ever after is not happening anymore. I am facepalming myself so hard everytime I think of those days. Because honestly, though, I didn’t even have a visa yet when he’s about to arrive already so what was I really expecting? LMAO. Besides, to be completely honest, it was part of my lashing out that I get to tell him how terrified I was of the plan but I still pushed it through just because I was convincing myself that it was the right thing to do. So when I’ve re-read everything, I’m just relieved in a whole different level.

I won’t just share anymore about Gravity’s one month vacation here because it wasn’t really that eventful. One thing’s sure though. That long time together didn’t let us see or you know, make us realize that it’s the right thing that we didn’t push through the wedding because we couldn’t stand each other after all. On the contrary, it made us realize how much of a right thing that decision was because his stay here proved to us that we do really want to be together and it’s really way different than being apart. Hence, planning out everything, even not the wedding first, is very important. Just so we can be sure that we really will be together soon. We just need to be patient and work on it more seriously now. Because it’s not a thing for kids, really. It requires two adult that understand and know each other well enough to make a long term decision together.

So, I think I’ll just wrap this up now with this.

We’ve been together way longer than how most people get to be in a relationship now. And you know, despite that, I am convinced still that no matter how much that we do feel like we’ve known each other so well already, that’s not really the defining thing that would let us be really together just like how we very much wanted it to be. It’s not that easy, because every single day is every single opportunity also for us to grow into something that would let us be who we want to be as an individual. Our love for each other, it’s not just that that would keep us together. We’re best friends and not just lovers, y’all should know that. And no matter what, we would still care for one another. Hence, y’all should know also that in whatever circumstances, we would always choose the option of making each other the best of who we can be as a two different person.

We do have plans now. Again, for us, together, for the near future. And yes, I can picture it happening. You know, somehow. But for now, I’m happy that we’re happy just how it is going. We’re not rushing things to get into their places, and I’m glad that we’re letting it be that way. Most importantly, you know what I’m most grateful for? It’s that I have someone who won’t ever fake a dream and give it to me just to make me happy and satisfied. I’m thankful that no matter how hard it is, I have a person, a best friend that would always live in reality with me, supporting me to be the better person that I want to be, and to have everything that I deserve in life. And you what? I wouldn’t want it in any other way.

Always keep in mind, Happiness is not finding the right person, but happiness is being the right person. OKAY?

#infinitiesxwormholes #SETBACKS #gravity #LDR #longdistancerelationship #boyfriend #relationship #personal #lifenigma #lifenigmatalks #thekirstenkhaye

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autoirishlitdiscourses · 4 years ago

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Discourse of Tuesday, 15 December 2020

Let me know in the class email, but unless you file an informational report with the mainstream of academic spam, and there I felt like you haven't found it on the paper, though as I said before, but had a good selection, which is to understand and think about how your paper space to get all the grading email that I think that more explicit stand on why your grade: You gave a thoughtful, perceptive, and will help your grade. Two percent/for being such a good job here, and your writing is so very quickly. 43: A blade of grass. Eliot, Little Gidding, section, your readings of all handouts that I built in the text s with which you dealt. Hi, I think that giving texts, one thing, and think about how we have some good ideas, though. Well, I think that practicing a bit lopsided. It would have helped to get reading quizzes or to and/or social construction of your material effectively and provided a good job with it, but something you like it passes differently when you're in charge in our society means that a strong job here. I'm looking forward to your first question, or are we to make your paper there were a lot in this range provide a final selection for what you've outlined is really required, and you receive no credit for turning it into an effective job of providing and resolving it. On the section benefits from hearing them.

Good luck on the poetry handout for next week. Question is a worthwhile and important topics to discuss Francie's stream of consciousness in the San Jose area. Unfortunately, it allows you to construct a valid MLA citation format to point 6 nothing/hopelessness in your section, and your readings are often primarily just due to the exam, research paper will anticipate and head off other viewpoints, and I can attest from personal experience doesn't necessarily have to say, because the poem and get me a day or two to get back to another in ways that life in the course, gives and takes on these trees in the assignment write-up, I've attached a copy of it. I think that you've got an email tonight saying, I certainly understand from personal experience that should turn out to be a good student this quarter, and it may be one potentially productive move. Whatever you're using. Hi! God, I'm terribly sorry and embarrassed. 141 and drinks a glass of burgundy VIII.

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But you came up to you. I think these are very solid work here, and you needed to happen differently for this assignment. The only remaining opportunities are next week if you have not seen the final it has some substantial strengths in this paper, because I used your own ideas and texts involved in it and of your argument effectively. What is his name?

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Well, it may be that revising your thesis at the appropriate response to the shaven-headed woman tied up outside the church in Punishment; and captivated the group seems to me, and you have not held your grade: You added the to a woman's skirt at the end of his own experience as a broad home. So, here, although other people have done some very impressive work here, and have a hard skill to develop an even stronger paper. Currently, your delivery. The significance of ID #8 was The significance of this poem. Rebeka discussion of major themes in the delivery itself that you'd thought about this in terms of which parts of your performance, it never really rises far above the compare/contrast papers: These papers address the text in question perfectly, without any errors. C 70% 73% C-, not only paying close attention to your workload, but of the test, but overall, you can give you some unsolicited advice. Thinking about these things might be intimidated by Shakespeare's stature and then think about your other texts mentioned by the parties involved must avoid discussing it in terms of smaller-scale reading of Ulysses. This is what you think, too. I'll see you next week.

I'm sometimes nervous about this in your discussion could have been asking for it somewhat later by coming to section and you needed to happen in an engaged, thoughtful performance that you have an understanding of the work that the O'Shea/Parnell scandal indicates something structural about the relationship between your source texts, a copy of the Pig Toll Tax 6 p. Actually, I certainly understand from personal experience into analysis find it quite a good job in this course, as is quite a good student this quarter? Your discussion and question provoked close readings and the writer's argument. First and foremost, I can assess your recitation, then digging in deeper; one is simply a straight numerical calculation that was easy to parse even for those ten to fifteen minutes if it were, but neither is it necessarily mean that the Irish could reasonably be considered to be docking you points for the quarter would be most directly would be grateful if you'd like. Another student from my grading rubric possibly modified by up to large levels of your argument on the surface. The Butcher Boy song 5 p. One way to push your paper grades discussed in more detail below the middle of the last day,/not/that week; I think, and made a final answer to something quite productive, particularly of some parts of your grade on your email to the section for the jugular. Your ultimate guide to be read, so you legitimately crossed the line into A-becomes a B on your main topic, and, like reports. You are likely to pay off for you early next week in lecture. This means that, with no explanation of why Joyce does this but not for a lot of ways to do it, Audrey Niffenegger's novel The Time Traveler's Wife is perhaps not the only love-related tasks in this way. Just send me email or stop by my students turn them into discussion questions.

And yell Gotcha! I'll probably advise him to say and got a good selection, gave what was overall a strong argument about it in a lot of good work here, I think that there are many profitable ways to accomplish this before in case they ask you, but I'm sending this tonight because I think that what you see as important. So you can bring up in front of the Poet-Critic in My Way Reminder: if you want to fall under some fair definition of how your grade on their experience of love is being transmitted, specifically, and this will make it support that particular idea. You have good, and deployed secondary sources well, here. Again, thank you for the lateness. All of these are pretty small errors: picked for went picking; was hanged; and, provided that the professor is behind a bit of a text that you are perhaps overemphasizing the strength of the text s involved as closely integrated into the trap of only writing personally reflective essays that wind up on crashing other sections and you demonstrate a very strong because it verges on nonsense in places I know to and/or taking the opening paragraphs of a set of ideas here, and weaved all of the quarter he had discussed re-typed your email with the rest of the quarter also discussed in more detail; thinking about basic issues, focus your analysis to be able to fill out your ideas will develop. You did a good job of this policy is that you do have some perceptive things to say. I was going this week. Thank you for I'll leave here tomorrow night.

Your writing is once again very lucid and very well be that you'll need to let the discussion that involved not only paying close attention to these general impressions about the text in it and whether it's kosher. Everything looks fine and I'll see you next week if he did say explicitly is that you needed to happen here, while the others. Let me know if you have any other questions, and has no effect one way to get you your grade, it's a good rest of the quarter is at least a short section from one of the sources of your grade so far in advance what you see as important about those ways if you'd like, or just to post on the section a bit more space to examine what the paper is due. I am much less true for us don't show that there are any number of ideas here, and moderate their responses and discussion by the bird this touches on. It turns out that you could say so as to avoid this problem is the deal I will cut in and marked you present. Thanks! Many thanks Of course! So what I'm not changing the requirements out from hanging out her washing; changed from to by in from a generic perspective of a professional about your evaluative criteria, which are, it's not out there, generally clear and engaging, and your material very effectively and provided a good way to fill out your major say two concerns from each section. Did you want to make it perfectly clear, using that as a whole has a pork kidney for breakfast, writes a letter to my training and experience is that these assertions are not meeting basic expectations; explains basic expectations for you for a job well done! Professor John Rickard's collection of course, please leave the group; once when everyone introduced themselves, once when he did on section 3:30 you're likely to drag you down to it but you'll have to choose White Hawthorn in the day on which Ulysses is quite a good job of effectively engaging the rest of your claims. You draw meaning out of this work is most conducive to writing and its inherent assumption of innocence until guilt is proven. Doing this effectively if the group of talented readers, and want to make sure that you're covering. This statement should be adaptable in terms of which has been an easy task, you can think about what you want to switch topics? Answer: Paddy Dignam, e. He would most likely way to do on this coming Wednesday 20 November discussion of Quoof and n's discussion of a rather general argument, and haven't used Word extensively for a grad seminar several years ago. You'll want to ruin it for you if you miss section, which was previously the theoretical maximum number of important issues. You've got some really perceptive readings of The Butcher Boy: The Lovers 1928; probably many others. You write quite well here, and I will have noted that he is to say earlier: I will pass out a mutually agreeable time for both your paper, just what I will take this topic further: how is this connected to the class and how this construction of your grade, it's impossible to do in answering this question would help—there are probably good ways to larger-scale course concerns.

#Irish literature #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Python #Markov chains

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