#although I think that having a consciousness is a better line than being part of the animal kingdom

[catinheadlights]

I regularly eat meat so maybe take this with a grain of salt, but I think when people try to "own" the concept of veganism with "facts and logic" as either a diet or a moral stance, they generally misunderstand what they're trying to criticize.

Like, you can say that the "real" problem with animal agriculture is capitalism encouraging animal abuse and factory farming, but like. Vegans know that's bad. That's not the only problem they have with the industry. You've got the slew of environmental problems it causes plus the whole, y'know, killing/exploiting animals thing that they don't like.

Someone who values the life of a chicken as equal to that of a human won't give two shits if it had a good life before being slaughtered, because to them it's the moral equivalent of killing a person for food. By saying that they're simply ✨wrong✨ for seeing a problem with the killing part, you're missing the entire point. "It had a good life" hardly means anything if you don't think of human life as inherently more valuable. You can disagree with that premise all you want, but you're not gonna change their minds.

I also challenge you to actually come up with an argument for why you feel human life inherently matters more than all nonhuman life, because I've never in my life seen a cogent argument for it that includes all humans and excludes all nonhumans. It's just that evolution hardwired that value into most people (including me, I agree). I think it's fine to feel that way and live accordingly, but you should know where your values come from. Vegans act on that too - getting rid of an infestation would be the equivalent of mass murder. This isn't a dig, by the way, it'd be impossible to have a decent quality of life if you stuck to "humans = nonhuman animals" completely.

I see people tossing around eggs and dairy as morally fine because they don't require killing the animals that produce them, but everyone seems to conveniently forget what they do to nearly all the males. It's not practical for farmers to keep all the males alive for their natural lifespan because they aren't economically useful. Some very small farmers might, but it's never going to happen on any remotely large scale. Something tells me that the "killing animals is bad" club isn't gonna be happy about that.

Also, I don't know what's up with people making shit up about domestication but:

Livestock was, in fact, domesticated. Yes, this includes laying hens. We'll breed anything for efficiency.

The purpose of domesticating an animal doesn't dictate what is morally okay to do with it (ex. if you bred dogs specifically to fight, it wouldn't make dogfighting more moral).

In a similar vein, no, factory farming never reduces the need for cropland, and the animal agriculture industry as a whole doesn't either (hint: it's mostly factory farming). I don't know where people get the idea that animals somehow magic nutrients/energy into existence, but a lot of crops are grown specifically for livestock feed, which is less efficient than growing crops directly for human consumption due to trophic levels and waste production. If you insist otherwise, please take a biology class.

I do think that putting so much focus on individual action is a bit silly considering how giant animal agriculture is as an industry and how heavily subsidized it is. Put some of that energy into changing policy please. It'd probably be more useful.

[aparticularbandit]

Thinking about how Haruhi absolutely screwed over Asakura.

Because like.

Haruhi makes the club. The club goes looking for trouble and finds nothing and also the straws were not in her favor and she didn't get to go looking for trouble with Kyon.

Haruhi gets depressed because nothing has happened in the club in its one week of existence.

Five minutes later, Asakura: Hey. Kyon. Let's play stabby!

One day later, Haruhi: HEY KYON ASAKURA DISAPPEARED YOU AND ME GONNA TEAM UP AND LOOK FOR TROUBLE.

And like. Asakura is stated repeatedly to be the prettiest girl in their class other than maybe Haruhi, and Haruhi can't go after Mikuru because Mikuru's part of her gang.

What I'm saying is Asakura suddenly being stabby is entirely Haruhi's fault.

....

And, as a result, it is highly likely that Yasuke should be concerned.

[hwnglx]

felix's real personality behind the scenes

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

+ so the central theme for the first part of the reading, was the word “healing”. this is sweet actually, since i do think a lot of his public image is also tied to that, and it does appear to be a genuine part of his personality.

felix is a person who can have a profound impact on people, in a way where he just soothes them quite naturally. his presence alone can have that calming effect. there's a lot of gentleness to his energy. he's someone people would want to seek out when there's chaos and stress in their life, and they need a source of comfort and positivity. he enjoys giving that to people, and being that type of existence for them. it fulfills him, and can make him feel better about himself.

the stray kids member is the type of person who, instead of being relentlessly competitive and drama-prone, chooses to connect to people in a close manner. he's someone who truly doesn't enjoy drama and conflict.

felix wants to put himself into other people's shoes, genuinely empathize with them, make them feel validated and understood. he usually isn't a person who feels the need to selfishly put himself above anyone in order to lift himself up, or sees people as competition somehow. he just isn't the type who'll consciously choose to fight you, if he can befriend you instead. definitely an “everybody's darling” type of energy.

however, what's definitely worthy to note.. his softness does not equal weakness. on the contrary; felix is someone who's much more masculine and bold than some people might think. he isn't an easy target or pushover, and is in possession of his strong opinions he won't budge away from. if he feels strongly about something, he will not be the type to surrender that easily. in fact, he's very passionate in his autonomy.

i kept getting this feeling, that he's just amazing at wisely picking his battles, and acting with clear intention. although i do see him having his explosive moments, that definitely might catch some people off guard sometimes, considering the duality that's present here.. i don't really see him being a person who allows himself to let loose at the wrong time. i don't see him being someone so overly impulsive that he steps on people's toes, or crosses lines he shouldn't cross.

he's still got a tight enough grip on his emotions, that he's capable of staying conscious of when to let them bubble to the surface. if it's justified and he clearly feels like he's in the right though; you're likely to see a different side to felix, that's much more opinionated and dominant than you think.

this man just has amazing tact, and knows when to let out different sides of himself. he knows who to be more submissive towards, and who he can be more commanding with. he knows how to behave according to what benefits him the most, and which behavior will be to his biggest advantage. some people could look at this as selfish, and see it as more of a yellow flag. the lines are a little blurred here.

felix will be the sweetest and most generous person in the world, if he feels like you can help him out in some manner.

if there's someone who knows how to network in this business, it's him. i wouldn't be surprised if a good amount of his deals are a result of people just genuinely liking him as a person, and almost feeling this desire to return his kindness. (i'm not downplaying his talents! but he just gives the industry's darling too, which i saw in my jyp reading as well)

i can see him doing things like giving gifts, and being of service, or just extra nice to some people in power, who can give him the opportunities or attention/clout he wishes for.

he definitely can have his materialistic and opportunistic tendencies, which again, is likely to be more blurred in terms of “green and red flags”

he's just very clever and strategic, as well as more calculated than what meets the eye. he knows exactly what he's doing when sweetly smiling at you; he knows what effect he has on you. he's someone who charms people like it's the easiest thing in the world, and knows how to make use of his appeal.

- so, emphasizing this again; felix isn't stupid, he's very smart. he isn't a fool, he isn't the naive and innocent angel that he might portray himself as at times.

he's good at detaching himself from people.. the type that makes you feel like you're close to him, when you probably only know like 15% of who he actually is.

he's great at hiding away several parts of himself, especially the more “negative” ones. meaning, he usually disguises e.g. his negative opinions on people behind an agreeable smile, holds grudges deep down he probably won't tell you about, if he feels like it'd ruin the image you have of him. if felix openly and straight up tells you he doesn't like you, it's probably because he doesn't really see any use in being nice to you.

in addition, i can see him weaponizing his kindness at times. going back to the insights for the green flags, he is someone who's genuinely sweet towards many people.. however, some of that does come from him wanting to earn something and benefit from those acts of service.

if you end up in an argument with him, it's likely for felix to throw those acts of kindness into your face, and guilt-trip you for being so ungrateful. he's amazing at making you feel like an awful person. he was being so nice to you, and you're doing him wrong like that? felix is definitely someone who's great at manipulating narratives to his own advantage, and making himself look like the good guy in most scenarios.

he's for sure another idol, who i'd add to the list of “i suggest not fighting him” unless you wanna see a completely different side to him.

it's highly likely for a colder and less considerate side to come out, once you manage to rile felix up, and he feels done wrong by you. he can get very defensive, and quite ruthless and harsh, especially verbally. more cut-throat than he usually is.

i do think a lot of this comes from “i will hurt you before you can hurt me.” deep down, felix seems to have some unhealed wounds, especially in terms of his self worth.. this can lead to him becoming extra defensive if he feels like you could potentially rip off the bandaid, since he's still trying to heal.

note; this is lowkey making me sad, since.. many of his green flags were about healing and helping others, making them feel validated. it's almost like, he wants to heal others, because he can struggle healing himself.

i have to add, i do believe he cares more than he'd like to admit to himself, especially about people's opinion on him. again, i just don't think he wants to, since it can consume him a lot.

felix is someone who needs validation, and wants to feel like he's some sort of use to people in order for him to feel worthy.

the stray kids member is the type to overcompensate because he can quickly feel inadequate for people; especially when it comes to his work. i can see him being obsessive about his craft, his public image, his reputation. he seems to struggle finding real satisfaction, and can often pour way too much of himself into his work out of this fear that he isn't enough.

he's the type of person who's better at recognizing the things he lacks, rather than acknowledging his abilities, or the high place he's at. it's like.. something's always lacking, it's never truly enough. he can get very thirsty in terms of his career.

i do think a large part of this, comes from a lack of genuine and substantial self-love, without all the glamour and fame. he sees himself at his most lovable in work- and idol-mode, and can quickly feel like he's of much less value outside of that.

i can also sense him easily feeling like he doesn't have much to offer, outside of his more superficial qualities. like people wouldn't like him the way they do, if he wasn't in possession of his good looks, his money, his status. this can result in him getting pretty obsessive over keeping those things in check.

this is something i've seen in a few idols now. it's almost like fame can turn into this.. type of drug almost, that gives you this high, which you always end up chasing. a lot of idols realize, especially later on in their careers, that so much of that is just empty. it's a shallow type of “fulfillment” that looks nicer on the outside than it actually is. but once you're there, it can quickly turn into something you still can't get enough of.

[strawberrystepmom]

i love you more than being seventeen

pairing: nanami kento x f!reader

word count: 2.7k

about: all that kento can think about at the end is you and you and you.

contents: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, JJK SHIBUYA ARC SPOILERS. mutual pining over the course of many years, angst, no happy ending i’m sorry :( but the story itself has a few cute moments

notes: this is a repost from my old blog. title is from evening sun by the strokes! i still love this fic so much and it’s one of my favorite things i’ve ever written BUT there have been edits made and the ending is a little different. same impact, just more concise. thanks for reading!!!!

divider is thanks to @/cafekitsune

When Nanami's consciousness begins to fade, darkness enveloping the edges of his vision, one of the things he can recall most clearly is you.

You're 15, it's your first day of high school. You're the only person in your class, just like him. He's graduating this year and has already mentally checked out, doing just enough to get through, but he can see how anxious you look. The sleeves of your uniform are a bit too long, he wonders if it's on purpose like his are and your backpack is clearly brand new and covered in pins you probably picked out just for your first day. 

A breeze picks up and blows the hem of your pleated skirt, exposing the skin just above your knee and he looks away immediately although you certainly can’t tell he’s even looking at you. Assessing you, the better term perhaps.

“Can you help me?”

A sweet and uncertain voice asks him. It belongs to you and he’s surprised that you asked him. It doesn’t take a very intelligent person to take one look at a 17-year-old Kento and see that he isn’t necessarily the approachable type. He isn’t unkind but his face is just as solemn as it will be when he grows up, mouth always set in a firm line. 

“Sorry, you’re probably busy,” you mumble and he shakes his head, hiking the strap of his bag back up over his shoulder. “It’s alright. First day?” You nod, your uncertainty obvious in every one of your movements as you grip the straps of your backpack tightly. 

“Someone was supposed to meet me here otherwise I wouldn’t be bothering you,” you explain as the two of you walk toward the sweeping entrance to the school itself. Your eyes widen as you take in the pillars and stairs, the greenery and flowers - it’s grand to say the least. Part of Nanami is amused watching you take it all in but he focuses on the task at hand. “It’s alright, like I said,” he starts and clears his throat. “Do you know who you’re supposed to be meeting?”

Your brow furrows, as if you’re thinking really hard, and you scrunch your nose.

“Gojo?”

Nanami rolls his eyes at the mere sound of the name. Of course he’s late and left you standing outside of the school, confused and alone. He knows that Gojo is technically his sensei now and he should respect him but he finds him just distasteful enough that it serves better to ignore him than to feed into his nonsense.

“Yeah, he does that,” Nanami shoots back cooly as he walks beside you up the steps. The zippers on your backpack jingle and he’s shot back into reality, ringing in his ears loud enough to quiet the sound of pumping blood. 

He swears you can hear you call his name through the chaos, the footsteps and the screeching, but he closes his eyes. Tightly. Tries to concentrate on the source of the sound before realizing it’s in his own head, the cinematic reel in his head playing on a strange loop of fragmented pieces of his life spent wishing for you.

You.

The two of you are thigh to thigh inside of a photo booth, music playing through the little speaker underneath the tiny screen where you can see your two faces. 

Kento isn’t sure how you roped him into this, an evening away from the school and in the city something you probably both needed, but it feels correct and inappropriate at the same time. The last few months have given him tiny glimpses into your life through the shared area of the student dorms. 

He knows that you leave your shoes wherever you carry them after you take them off with a disgruntled whine. He dutifully places them next to your door when he sees them, the soles touching and the toes of each shoe pointed toward the wall.

He knows that you stay up too late watching television when you should be studying, the fighting noises of shonen anime coming from beneath the door of your room or the common room while you giggle or gasp along. He always wraps you in a blanket his grandmother made him when you fall asleep on the couch, drool crusting over on the corner of your lips.

He would do these things for no one else and he believes that strange dedication he feels to your comfort has led him here, long legs jutting out in front of him a nearly too small photo booth. Your bare thigh is pressed against the side of his jeans and he finds it hard to breathe with the sweet smell of your floral shampoo filling the entire left side of this enclosed space.

Fight or flight begins to kick in as the situation overwhelms him but you place a comforting hand on his forearm and smile easily, reminding him that the countdown is about to begin and to smile. He doesn’t smile but the corner of his mouth quirks in a way that you find adorable enough to giggle at, your big smile filling the screen as the flash snaps the first of four photos.

“Another! Make a funny face this time,” you order and Kento nods, lifting the other side of his lips in what one could almost call a smile while you stick out your tongue and hold two of your fingers up in bunny ears behind his head.

You like him. Even Gojo has noticed it, calling you out during your last mission with him.

“So…Nanami?” He asked with a little sideways grin and you groaned in frustration and stomped away. Satoru knew it then. 

The shutter clicks and the flash explodes and you withdraw your fingers from behind Kento’s blonde head, feeling compelled to barely touch the top of it with your pointer finger. His hair is soft, brushed in front of his face, and you think you’ll remember the electric zap you feel like your heart forever as you gather your hands back in your lap.

Nanami assesses you carefully and shifts closer to you and you feel heat rise into your cheeks. The tips of your ears are warm and dangerously close to the side of his face and you look down just in time for the camera to click and to capture the top of your head and the side of his face. 

You laugh, shaking your head as the two of you compose yourselves long enough for the final photo and you gasp a little when Kento hovers his face just inches from yours. Your soft cheek nearly touches his cheekbone and you fist the fabric of your skirt to keep from freaking out as you grin. 

Giddiness rises inside of you, the proximity to the older boy sending your mind reeling with possibilities. You even notice both corners of Kento’s mouth have risen in a sort of smile as the final camera shutter sounds and the two of you file out of the booth and you reach to grasp the strip of photos, easily tearing it in half.

“Why did you do that?” 

Nanami asks, brow furrowed as he watches you look over the sets of photos contained in each of the pieces of the strip. You hold the one with the last two photos out toward him, the top photo showing him staring at the top of your head and the bottom his attempt at a smile. 

“Half for me and half for you,” you respond easily. 

He wishes all of this came that easily for him. These feelings, these moments, this tender sense of compassion he feels just for you. 

As the memory leaves, he’s reminded that the same strip of photos lives in the wallet in his left back pocket. Buried beneath business cards and bandages, a talisman to bring him back to you even when the two of you were separated after he graduated and left the school.

He hates thinking of those times, those years where he left you behind, but he’s too weak to will those memories away for better ones. The waves of his consciousness drift to another piece of his life, those lost years. His graduation. The ignored text messages.

“Happy birthday, Nanami-san! Miss you and hope to see you soon. Have a great day.”

He opened the message on his 22nd birthday and left it on read, just as he had with the message on his 21st, his 20th, his 19th. You’ve wondered several times if he changed his number and didn't let anyone know.

You’re 19, a year past your own graduation and you are working as a full time sorcerer. You aren’t particularly challenged in your role but you find it fulfilling in its own strange way. Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you sigh as you scroll through the messaging thread and an indescribable wistfulness falls over you.

You’d go back and do it all differently if you could. Beg him to stay, encourage him in the work of a sorcerer, but that would make you selfish. Keeping him here would have been for you and not for him and there’s nothing saying you had the power to convince him anyway. 

Locking your phone, you drop it on the table and walk to the fridge where your half of the photo strip sits on the fridge all of these years later. It’s tucked beneath a magnet that holds up a copy of the graduation invitation you sent Kento last year. You texted him, asking if he’d like to come and perhaps you should have taken the hint back then. 

He doesn’t want to be friends anymore.

The realization hits you at once and you open the fridge, plucking out leftovers, and shut it with an unenthusiastic slam. Padding back toward your living room, you pick up your phone and unlock the device. The screen still shows your text message thread with Nanami and against your better judgment, you type. Thumbs moving thunderously, you continue typing until you feel satisfied you have laid it out for him and your finger hovers over the message. Pressing down, you try to highlight the text to erase it but instead you slip and hit the send button.

“Fuck!” You shout loud enough you’re certain that your neighbor will file another noise complaint and you feel more horrified reading over your words the second time.

Kento’s phone pings from where it sits on his desk, another late night in front of the computer keeping him from doing anything enjoyable on his special day. He doesn’t bother to check the sender, knowing it’s probably something asinine from a client or a coworker, but his eyes widen as he sees the preview of the paragraph sent with your name attached.

“It’s okay if you hate us now but it would be nice to know that you’re alright,” his eyes scan each word carefully and he isn’t surprised by their bite but he feels guilty. Raw and bubbling deep in his gut, feelings he contained through college and far beyond surfacing in ways he didn’t expect. “I was your friend. I still want to be and hopefully someday you will let me.” 

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he looks over the honest appraisal of his character (“you’re a good person and that will always be true”), the tough love approach you tested halfway through (“I don’t want to do this job any more than you did and here I am”), and finally the thing you wanted to erase the most before you sent it.

“I’ll always love you even if you’ve never had it in you to do the same for me.”

He wonders for a moment if you mean that. Do you love him? Did you feel it back then the same way he did? The syrupy light feeling in your limbs, the heaviness in your head every time the two of you would study or eat or spend time together.

Setting his phone back down, he wonders for a moment how much sending that message cost you considering the length and if he should respond. Was this your goodbye? A way of finally freeing him from your mind? 

Before he has time to truly think about it, his desk phone rings despite the time of day and he answers it with a sigh.

You look down at your screen and once again see a delivered notification with no sign of any other life on the other side.

“Kento!”

He’s glad you’ve dropped the formalities even if the timing is bad, his fatigued body stumbling in your direction. The smell of burnt flesh fills the air and blurry vision still shows him your face, gasping as you run to meet him from halfway across the train station that feels cavernous.

The last time he heard you shout his name was when he arrived back at the gate of Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College, an employee ID card clipped to his slacks and his cursed tool snug in the harness strapped across his broad back. It’s new and familiar all at the same time and he hates thinking of the smug look on Gojo’s face when he called him to ask to come back.

“I wonder why,” Satoru teased from the other end of the phone. 

Nanami only sighed from the other end, the two of them continuing their quick back and forth and scheduling a time where they could meet with the administration at the school. Their conversation is quick and polite but the final words out of his old friend's mouth are what remind him of the first domino that fell and led him back to these stone steps. “She’ll be glad to see you again.”

You’re standing across the courtyard and he’s surprised to see you for the first time in 6 years. You look the same as you did on that first day in a lot of ways. A pleated skirt, breeze lifting the hem just slightly away from your bare thighs. He doesn’t bother to look away this time, the peek of skin enough to send heat up his neck.

“Kento!” You shout again, hopping and running in his direction. He shakes his head as your heavy boots smack against the pavement and before he can blink, you’re in front of him with a grin. “Holy shit!” 

Ever humble, he nods in your direction and tips his chin toward the ground to hide a burgeoning smile. He looks the same but different, just like you. The sides of his hair are shorter than you’ve ever seen them, the longer top slicked away from his face. He’s handsome - he always has been and you try to ignore the little fluttering feeling inside of your chest and in your stomach. 

“Welcome back,” your final choice on what to say as you clap your palm against his shoulder and he smiles at the familiar feeling. He never thought he’d experience it again. 

“Hey,” he says and you look up at him. The sunlight frames your face in a way he wants to memorize forever, emblazoned in a metaphorical heart shaped locket in his mind. He wants to look at you every day. He hates that he let pride keep him from doing that. Exhaling, he says the words he has wanted to since you were 15 and he was 17.

“I love you.”

The sound of your heavy boots across cement and tile are what he chooses to focus on as you continue your mad dash in his direction, his lips mumbling those three words over and over. He knows you can’t save him and he has come to terms with that reality but he wants to see you standing in front of him one last time. To see a breeze blow the edge of that skirt up just enough he can picture where he’d put his hands on your thighs if he ever had the chance. 

Before you can make it the distance, so close to him you can read his lips, his words change. You think you know what he was saying before his stumbling continued but that patchwork curse steps in front of him and blocks him from your view. 

“You’ve got it from here.”

He points in the direction of Yuuji Itadori who is on the opposite side of you and you turn your head to look at the pink haired young man for a single moment, confused.

You gasp when you turn back toward Kento and he’s gone.

He’s gone.

[nintendo-killed-atari]

How would Colin interact with other episodes' characters? (specifically, just the lead/important characters from every BM episode so far) (and yes you may include s7 characters, except the one he's actually in ofc, when it's out)

Hello hello yes yes, although I'm not the best at writing Colin's character, along with the others, but I'm down to try, I'm sorry in advance if this is CRINGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Colin: "You realize this isn't real, don't you? Just a system. A system to deciding if you get to breathe easy or choke to death after a mistake on they're part. Who authorized 'em to do that? Not you. Fuck 'em." Lacie: "That's easy for you to say. You don't live there. If I stop caring about myself, what other people thing I lose everything. Everything I worked for to get here." Colin: "Or you win something. Freedom. Actual life. A world where you're not forced to control every little thing you do. A perfectionist life means nothing if you don't have a fucking boulder hit you in the face every now and again. To remind you of what's real." Lacie: "To remind what's real? I can't just let it all go, and put my life on the line for this, it's everything to me." Colin: "Exactly, it what's they make you think think it's important."

Colin: "So, you two mastered the trick—beating death. It's a good move. But do you think it's living?" Kelly: "Feels real enough." Kelly takes a quick glace. Yorkie: "It's preferable to the other option, my life was mostly forced by my parents restrictions, apparently I can't like girls to the point where even after her death she tried to restrict it." Yorkie: "Honestly this may be better that the life I was given, a safe space." Colin: "Maybe. Or maybe you're just stuck in another maze thinking you're free. Ever ask yourself if somebody else has his hand on the controller?" Kelly: "I mean whoever it is I don't mind, I got some good luck on that one." Kelly wraps her arm around Yorkie.

Colin: "Alright, so you're saying you took echoes of him, fragments of information, and stitched 'em together into a cyborg?" Martha: "It's better than nothing." Colin: "But it's not him, is it? It's just a selfish shadow dance, to keeping you from moving on, It's not a good coping mechanism." Martha: "You don't understand loss." Colin: "Nah, mate. I know it alllll too well. That's why I'd rather have the real thing than some puppet you hide away into an attic." Martha: "..."

Colin: "You're saying they stuffed your consciousness into a plastic doll and used it to make AI generated music? That's sick, mate. Full-blown Orwellian horror." Ashley O: "Well, yeah, it was life. Fucking hated being a popstar, only with my own fucking mom being the manager, like it was the Karadashins or some shit." Colin: "I don't know what that means but I assume it's horrible." Ashley O: "Yeah.." Colin: "You gonna let 'em continue writing the script, or you finally picking up the pen?" Ashley O: "They drugged me, imprisoned me, of course I fought back." Colin: "Then set the whole system on fire. That's how you win their game, try to get others out of it, if you can."

Colin: "So, you signed up to let some high ass tech bros poke around in your skull. Bold move, mate." Cooper: "It was just a game. A little fun. Wanted to get something out of it, only needed to money to delay it longer..." Colin: "Ah, but see, that’s where you slipped. Reality’s got layers, and you let ‘em dig too deep. Now you don’t even know where you are, do you?" Cooper: "I mean… I think I’m real." Colin: "You think? That’s a dangerous word." Cooper: "Oh come on, man, don’t do that to me." Colin: "Hey, I’m just saying—once you open the door, how do you know it ever really closed?" Cooper: "By... closing it???" Colin: "It's an analogy for- you know what? nevermind..."

Colin: "Right, so you’re telling me this geezer in platform boots popped out of a talisman and gave you a hit list? That’s mental, mate." Gaap: "Technically, I'm an ‘infernal familiar,’ if we’re getting specific. And yes, she had a divine mission—well, undivine, but who cares???" Nida: "I didn’t exactly have a choice, i just randomly picked it up and my finger was bloody and-" Colin: "That’s what they all say. But freewill’s a funny thing, yeah? You had the choice to do nothing—and yet, here we are." Nida: "HE LITERALLY SAID THAT THE WORLD WAS GOING TO END IF I DIDN'T!?!" Gaap: "Ooh, I like this one. Very meta. We should have teamed up with him, Nida. He seems good at get away with a murder." Colin: "Appreciate it the complement mate, but I prefer a more mental perceptive. There's reason for these things." Gaap: "Oh, honey, you’d love Hell, though you're more in limbo yeah?" Colin: "Eh. It's a bit cliché, don’t you think? What if we’re already in it?" Nida: "Please stop saying things like that, I just need some peace for once..." Colin: "No quiet?" Gaap: "The silence makes her want to kill somebody when she zones out." Colin: "Oh. fair enough."

[lazyyogi]

As people, do we have the choice to finish our lives out without reincarnating, after death? Is it possible to clear our karma to the point where that’s an option?

Awesome question, thanks for this!

I think the first important thing to address is the notion of karma. Often we imagine that it is like our cosmic bank account balance. Then our understanding is something along the lines of good deeds and bad deeds of various magnitudes factoring together to determine what happens after death (or even in life).

In actuality, the concept of karma is more nuanced than this. It is better to imagine karma as the imprints we take on due to our judgments (fixed perceptions), traumas (triggers), fears (rejections), and desires (attractions). I think a pragmatic understanding of it would be like this:

Imagine you developed complete amnesia and were dropped into an environment that knew nothing about you. How would you act and react? What kinds of insights and conclusions would you draw? What kinds of motives would arise? All of that is karmic stuff.

In life, thanks to our wonderful human brains, we have the ability to recognize these imprints in ourselves. We can choose to act counter to those reactions and instincts. Unlike most animals, which are innocent beings but they do not have the executive function to choose to go against their instincts--although there are of course exceptions to this.

In death, we no longer have the power of the human brain and therefore the karmas take over. It is then said that we experience a heaven or hell accordingly. If we lived violently and animalistically, thats the kind of after-death experience we have. If we behaved with love and kindness and wisdom, then that is the after-death experience.

But either way, once enough of that karma is exhausted during the after-death experience, we are pulled back to physical incarnation.

How much of this is real and true? I can't say from direct experience. But right now its part of my own modeled understanding derived from my direct experiences in meditation as well as the teachings of my Guru and many traditions.

So now to your question: Can we finish our lives out without reincarnating, after death? Is it possible to clear our karma to the point where that’s an option?

There are two perspectives from which to answer this question. One, which will be relatable and intuitive, and another, which may be a little abstract.

The first perspective is this--the only beings who never incarnate again are those who attain self-realization, complete enlightenment. Those are the beings for whom nothing remains to reincarnate after physical death. And it is said that no matter how those beings appear outwardly--angry, amused, etc--their minds never take on any imprints ever again. It's like drawing on the surface of water.

The second perspective is that of no-creation, which is nonduality or advaita. It kind of turns the question on its head. If you ask "is it possible to never incarnate again", it will answer your question with a question, "can you be certain you ever incarnated in the first place?".

From a non-dual perspective, nothing has ever happened. The universe was never created and will never be destroyed, just as the world you experience in your dreams has no real beginning or end. And just as the dream self you have experienced in dreams has no birth or death, neither have you ever truly incarnated or died.

Because ultimately, all of this is an illusion. BUT this doesn't mean it isn't Real! An illusion is defined as a misperception of something real--like mistaking a coil of rope to be a snake. It does not mean a hallucination, such as suddenly seeing a snake appear in an empty room.

All of This is Reality, Consciousness, the Self, Emptiness, The Divine, The Indescribable, etc. It is only due to our misperception (illusion) that it appears to be anything other than That.

I know 😅 wtf, right? That's...a lot.

I hope this at least gave you something to explore a bit more but in the end there's one thing I always recommend: daily meditation.

May you know peace, freedom, and happiness without exception.

Much love!

LY

[wordarttmn]

Omori observations 18

19:28 in-game, Time to go to church!

I have more time tonight, and even more time tomorrow. So I think I’ll save the cemetery scene for tomorrow because I’ll have more and more things to say.

But first of all, I’ll listen to Finding Shapes in the Clouds one last time this week.

Kel has been leading us for nearly all of the day, but here he refuses to keep going right away. But the game won’t let us wait. Sunny takes, always, one of his few spontaneous decisions, and it’s not a better one than the others.

He enters the church without waiting for Kel

Respite is another track I barely knew, I didn’t know of the melody in the middle. It sounds very heavy, like we’re entering during a particularly solemn time. Could be right after the eucharist.

i’ve noted before that Kel uses the past tense when he needs to, but does not think of it that way. Aubrey absolutely does. To a degree that he did not expect

And although this is only the first time we see it, he deals with that, well, the way he deals with everything these days.

 he brings Mari into everything, all the time. If anything he was consciously avoiding to mention her in front of me until now.

Still, to Aubrey, this was callous, and she responds even more callously.

Aubrey keeps alternating between staring into the distance and closing her eyes. Because those are the best ways to hide your emotions. she’s not that good at it and there are times when it slips out, but she generally gets a hold of herself and immediately goes back to her thousand yards stare.

The contacts do help.

It is not what Basil told us. Basil barely told us anything. But to any player that has been attentive this is the moment where Basil becomes more suspicious.

My theory would make sense though. The moment right after the eucharist is reserved for the most intimate prayers, and quite often they include mourning and praying for the dead. it’s the case for me, and judging by the fact that it’s the moment where I see silent tears on many faces around me, I’m not the only one.

If I’m right, we interrupted Aubrey at this very moment.

A lot of Aubrey’s anger is directed at Kel and Sunny’s comeback, and Sunny’s sudden reappearance in particular.

She says all of her edgy lines eyes closed.

I really think she’s super afraid of not seeming assured, or of her emotions being visible.

So Kel gives his half-assed apology, she doesn’t accept it, and attempts to leave

Again, post-eucharist is when a lot of people decide to leave, quite often because they feel overwhelmed

So she’d have gone out unnoticed,

but now everyone’s staring at her.

And hearing the gossip feels super weird

This is when Aubrey’s expression masking is the most obvious

But also she won’t be able to maintain it any longer.

that’s right, we think that. We aren’t really wrong but still we have little evidence so far.

Technically, it was me. Kel just followed me.

Forgot to heal!!!!

I think the church this takes place in has been identified, and iirc it’s an anglican church in new england. Anglicans are like catholic lite, so hopefully my observations won’t be too off.

It means everything definitely does sound similar to the snow forest theme.

Also, Kel is mad. Madder than he’s been at any point today.

And of course Aubrey headbutts all, and it’s still one of the best skills in game judging by how hard it’s gonna be for me to keep Kel alive.

And you know who else brawled in a place of worship?

This time, she’s addressing me specifically.

The answer is probably the move, but it’s not like I can speak to answer her.

"Someone needs to stop them… Where are their parents?"

One of us has somewhat responsible parents. The other two though

"that girl is a threat to this neighborhood. There’s no hope for sinners like her!"

ma’am do you fall asleep during the important parts of the mass

"the pastor should have kicked her out a long time ago" well he did not.

This is the line that breaks Aubrey. She storms out and I don’t blame her.

No comments about it. For now.

The Preacher is the least judgemental person here. Yet,

One of the first things we learn about Sunny is that he feels some sort of judgement coming from religion, but the judgement definitely isn’t coming from the preacher. This leaves one other option, which I think is correct. You can probably guess what it is.

Side note, although I interpret the statue as being of some saint (I doubt it’s meant to be Jesus), the most "culturally christian atheist" thing ever has to be the mixing of faux-religious ambiguity with unambiguously christian words like "church". Although it’s less infuriating in Omori than in Deltarune.

Now I’ve mentioned the mailboxes, the classy ones of the north and the classic ones in the south. The northern homes are much larger, have more rooms and tend to contain "expensive-looking" stuff. The southern houses are much smaller and some of them look kind of rundown. And Aubrey inhabits the most rundown of them all.

Kel dug through the trash.

I can’t really either. But after that church fight, she decided she wanted nothing to do with us ever again, and didn’t care anymore for her memories of us. it’s a pretty shitty move but it’s probably on purpose, after she just felt her semblance of a world crumbling around her by our fault.

It’s extra shitty towards Hero though, who is completely uninvolved here.

This whole ordeal doesn’t sit right with me and most people, and Sunny has a good reason to be hesitant about high-fiving Kel.

I will do it anyways.

And that’ll be it for today. Hopefully I get to play for at least two hours tomorrow though. I still need to do the evening exploration and the cemetery scene

[fox-stuck]

I'm sooo interested in Riker's comments at the end of Schisms (6x05) re: the invasive and violent operations being proof that this group of aliens was, and he says this in a harsh and resentful tone - "more than curious." Because whoa, what a line to end this episode on!!! Obviously completely fair but also what a pointed reflection on contemporary scientific practices and mindset?

Human methods of scientific study (although I recognize we are several centuries behind tng) have been are brutal and cruel. Even if we ignore (which is a bold choice) the dehumanization we weaponize to perform procedures, testing, and experiments that are eugenic in nature on actual human beings, we are also horrid to creatures and things we do not view as having a worthwhile life or consciousness.

Like... scientific studies are notoriously cruel to jellyfish. Which I know may be a weird hill to die on but I will die on it. (sidenote: it's not actually a weird hill because we should treat every thing better regardless of internal structures and consciousness.) A short and simplified jellyfish brief, if you don't know, when jellyfish die their bodies age backwards and sink to the seafloor; growing into a polyp which will sprout numerous more jellies. This earned them a bit of a reputation for being immortal even though that's not really what's happening. In reality when they endure an intense enough amount of trauma to disrupt their body or its functions they regress, sink, and start the life cycle anew. As a result the methods by which we study jellyfish are violent.

“Scientists who study the regeneration of the immortal jellyfish know this well, and have developed a roster of abuses to “induce rejuvenation,” as one study calls it. One standard method of traumatizing the jellyfish is to place the creature in a solution of cesium chloride, a colorless salt. An alternative, called the needle treatment, asks you to pierce the gooey umbrella with a stainless-steel needle. Some scientists drag the needle through the creature’s body in a scribble, removing the needle as burst cells coagulate like cumulus. Others stab repeatedly, up to fifty times per jellyfish. You can also heat shock the jellyfish, raising the temperature of the surrounding water to nearly 100 degrees. Or you can simply starve it. If you do not give the jellyfish more than it can handle, it will not begin to regrow. If there is not enough cesium chloride in the petri dish, if there are not enough needles or there is too little heat, the jellyfish will remain adult, alive. So you have to ensure there is enough stress, enough trauma." (chapter: Us Everlasting, How Far The Light Reaches, Sabrina Imbler, 2022)

Our methods of research almost always emphasize getting information as quickly as possible; explaining away our egregious violations of autonomy as necessary. Something about that has always felt really cruel to me and its part of the reason I pivoted from the specific career in biology I had wanted. I know it's "just a jellyfish" but it's also not? They are an important part of an ecosystem and landscape that we have chosen to define as a nuisance. Targets of aggression and anger in the wild fishermen often choose to destroy their bodies unknowingly creating hundreds if not thousands more. Our violent actions against them manifest worse conditions for ourselves and the ocean's ecosystem - it's a nauseating cycle.

I often end up thinking about jellyfish when I watch Star Trek: TNG. So many of the people flying through space "to explore strange new worlds" get so hung up on a being's experiences of consciousness if they don't explicitly mirror their own. I cannot get over everything that happens in Schism being such an interesting thought experiment on autonomy? Like the same episode where Data reads "Ode to Spot" and everyone sort of fails to recognize the beauty in his poetry, is also the episode where the crew is being kidnapped for experiments and reflecting on it, is also the same episode where Dr. Crusher (in a rare case!) doesn't do the extra tests right away and sends Riker home with hot milk before bed as a treatment, is also the episode where in the end Riker has resentment for being experimented on and the loss of a life... I just don't even know if they meant there to be this much thought about autonomy to be honest.

None of this is an in-universe criticism about the crew because I think having these kind of hiccups and topics in character development are interesting! I just think it's almost comical when the era a science-fiction show is written in rips through it's world building so hard it just sort of stares at you. Which is a great method of reflecting on our current times but it also a little funny in a show universe that claims to have moved past inequality when it's like, "ah yes but do you experience your emotions and consciousness like I, a human federation officer, no? then how do you know you even have them?!"

[cosmogyros]

One time I was with a friend and I was listening to some music I'd never heard before and I started idly singing along, like harmonizing with the vocals or humming an improvised bass line, and their mind was BLOWN. They were like, "I thought you didn't know this artist?"

Me: "I don't!"

Them: "But you've heard the song before?

Me: "...no?"

Them: "But HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SING ALONG THEN"

(And it wasn't like I heard the first verse and then sang a harmony on the second verse because I already knew it from hearing the first one. I mean I was singing along to parts that I was hearing for the first time ever, right then.)

I tried to explain: "Well, it's obvious that the chord's going to switch at that point, right? We've had the same chord for four bars, so at this point, it's pretty likely that it's going to switch. And the natural next chord would be this one – [I sing a few notes, badly trying to imitate a chord] – I don't know what that is, probably the fifth of the scale or something – so I'm just singing some sort of melodic transition on the final bar of the previous chord that leads into the next chord..."

Around this point I realized I'd lost them, and proceeded to wish I were a turtle so I could retreat into my shell.

I guess that was the first time I became aware that I actually had picked up some degree of music-theory knowledge, having grown up in an excessively musical household but not having had any formal training in music. It just... makes sense to me somehow, intuitively. In a well-crafted song that is built on the long traditions of songwriting and musical concepts that we have available to us, you can often predict, to a certain degree, where it's going to go – what the rough shape of it will be.

And this isn't a bad thing – it certainly doesn't make it boring! Quite the opposite, in fact.

There are certain "rules" of music (which a professional in this field could explain much better than I) that we all know on some level, even if we don't KNOW we know them. But our ears jump up in excitement and recognition, so to speak, upon hearing them. And that's a big part of the reason why some songs are so catchy and successful. There are familiar "song formats" (e.g. the traditional blues progression, or alternatively the 1-4-5-6m chords – in various orders – that every songwriter knows intimately) that just... make sense, to our ears.

Although I didn't officially study music theory, I have been absorbing bits and pieces of it for decades, and I think I absorbed even more on a subconscious level. Finding alternative chords to play below a single note, transposing a song in my head, being able to spontaneously sing harmony to most songs... these were things I grew up doing and didn't consciously think of as "music theory", but now and then something happens that suddenly makes it obvious I have more music-theory knowledge than I thought I did.

You know what they say: You've gotta know the rules before you can break them right. I remember my dad telling me, for instance, when I was still quite young, that it's very rare to find two sequential chords that are a half-step apart in most pop music. So I, stubborn little beast that I was, proceeded to write multiple songs over the rest of my career that featured chord progressions that move by half-steps at some point. It was actually a great learning experience to try and make it work in a way that was pleasing to the ear.

But it's also a really fun challenge to look at the oldest, most common and well-established songwriting patterns and structures, musical frameworks that have earned their place in the pantheon – the "Old Faithfuls" – and, instead of turning up one's nose at them and sacrificing all enjoyability and likability on the altar of pure originality, to say to yourself, "Okay, what can I write using this structure/pattern that still manages to retain a flavor of newness and freshness?" I like doing both things, frankly.

[cthonicascendant]

We're doing the next ten questions off that plural experiences question list. It's going to be Crow, Voidsong, and me (Harry) answering. (Fair warning: there's a typing quirk beyond the cut.)

Questions 1-10 here.

11. Who are you out to as plural? «literally just my fiance, if we're talking people i know in meatspace who we did not meet via this tumblr. otherwise, all of our lovely followers. obviously. :p » - crow

12. What languages do you collectively / one of you speak? We all speak English. - Harry

13. What is something you can't seem to collectively agree on? How we take our coffee. - Harry

yeah i knovv vvhat an excitin an5vver but hone5tly vve 5truggled to find an an5vver to thi5 one that vva5nt too per5onal becau5e 5orry there5 5ome thing5 vve aint vvillin to 5hare for a little que5tionnaire anyvvay5 crovv an i both prefer our coffee black but crovv i5 al5o a ba5ic bitch vvhat in5i5t5 on pumpkin 5pice flaVour vvhen it5 in 5ea5on mierco like5 it vvith more cream an 5ugar than coffee - Void5ong

«aiclas, dee, and grub all like it with a little cream and sugar.» - crow

harry i5 the only one of u5 NOT allovved to make coffee but othervvi5e vve u5ually defer to vvhomeVer i5 pickie5t in the helm vvhich i5 typically mir - Void5ong

14. If you have a collective Identity (such as Gender or Orientation), what is it? «uh, our singletsona is nonbinary and bisexual aromantic? i think that fits the spirit of the question.» - crow

15. Do you collectively identify as queer / LGBTQIA+? yep - Void5ong

16. Do you collectively identify as Otherkin, Alterhuman or Nonhuman? al5o yep - Void5ong

It is slightly more nuanced than Voidsong would have you believe. While the consensus is that we are some being other than human, there is some division on what term to use. Most of the trolls dislike how Alterhuman and Nonhuman are based around a human norm. And none of us quite like the term Otherkin in reference to our collective self. - Harry

17. Do you have a collective rentry / carrd / something along those lines? (feel free to share!) no nothin other than the blog - Void5ong

18. What does switching feel like for you? Depending on the circumstances, we may not even notice any switching has occurred until well after the fact - sometimes as much as a week later. - Harry

«when we do notice during the switch, it's like... uh... a powerpoint transition i guess???? like, one minute it's me, then we get a particle dissolve effect into vee or whomever.» - crow

Right now instead of switching back and forth, we're copiloting and just letting whoever wishes to type have control of the hands. Although I am about to take control of the rest of the body for the sake of our poor, battered spine. Ahem. - Harry

19. Are you Monoconscious, Polyconscious or something else? hold on i got to pluralpedia 5omethin real quick uh fuck if i knovv - Void5ong

I'm afraid we don't quite understand the differences between some of the types of consciousness we looked at on PluralPedia. So, whatever it is when you all seem to share memories (for the most part), can't be conscious of what's going on in headspace necessarily, experience switches as more of a transformation than as someone else taking over/taking over from someone else, and yet still have distinct separation between alters. - Harry

«from what i understand we are closer to monoconscious than polyconscious, and that's all i can tell ya.» - crow

20. What does fronting feel like for you?

i vvill keep it real vvith you none a u5 knovv hovv to de5cribe it vvere ba5ically ju5t here Vibin you knovv - Void5ong

«co-fronting is interesting. to me it feels like what i imagine drifting feels like. idk. it's just like. being in sync with the others? when we're not in sync the body tends to lock up until we either agree on the action or one of us, uh, for lack of a better word, dominates the helm.» - crow

Also, having too many of us up here, or spending too much time disagreeing about what to do, causes some fairly annoying headaches. Literally. We can usually feel someone else's presence like a slight pressure inside our skull as well. - Harry

5ometime5 vvhen vvere real di55ociatey it5 kind a like driVin a car you knovv hovv youre 5eparate from the car but phy5ic5 i5 5till actin on you an youre 5till in control a vvhere it5 goin an hovv fa5t it get5 there but you aint like you aint the one doin the movin youre ju5t 5ittin there - Void5ong

I have nothing more to add. - Harry

«me neither, so i think we'll end this here. we are happy to try to answer any questions yinz may have.» - crow

[haravatat-slime]

Lore Rant: Lovecraft References

I don't really think this post is super important to Genshin lore as a whole, so please consider this list as some self-indulgent trivia that I've been itching to share.

For a little bit of context (in case anyone here hasn't heard of Lovecraft): H.P. Lovecraft (1890-1937) was a New England author who created the "universe" his contemporaries refer to as the Cthulhu Mythos, and the "founder" of the weird fiction genre. A lover of cosmic and gothic horror, he was ultimately a racist, messed up, and yet deeply interesting little man. (My infodumps about him as a person will be contained to other venues.)

At least as far back as Inazuma, there have been easter-egg style references to his work hidden in text and achievements. Here are some of the ones I've found.

The Golden Wolflord / "Whisperer in Darkness" Achievement

The Whisperer in Darkness achievement can be obtained by completing the Golden Wolflord boss fight in co-op mode. The actual "Whisperer in Darkness" is a 1930 novella by Lovecraft, wherein a man in a tiny Vermont farmhouse is terrorized by extraterrestrial entities. The entities, however, have nothing to do with wolves (they're actually these flying pseudo-insectoid dragons from Pluto who can preserve the human consciousness in a jar. Which...might have more to do with Sumeru than the Rifthounds, now that I'm saying it.)

In mentioning the Golden Wolflord, it's worth bringing up a more overt Lovecraftian reference regarding Rifthounds in general - specifically their ability to pass in and out of Teyvat by "dissolving space." Frank Belknap Long expounded upon a concept Lovecraft began in his short story "The Hound" (1922) when he wrote "The Hounds of Tindalos" in 1929. The titular Hounds are dog-like creatures who live in the corners of space and can use any angular meeting between two points as an entrance into our world. They are also, much like Rifthounds, capable of draining the life out of their prey (although the Tindalos variety do this in a much...goopier way).

The Unsealed Parchment / "Call of the Nameless City"

The Unsealed Parchment item can be obtained in several different ways, including through the Aranara quest line, and triggers a mini-quest in and around Devantaka Mountain in Sumeru. Once you've triggered the third part of this quest, these words appear on the parchment:

But those eternal beings can never perish, Until death has become the end of death.

I remember reading this and finding it very familiar - and it became even more so when I found out somebody had translated the text on the actual quest item:

That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die.

This is a oft-quoted couplet that Lovecraft first penned in his story "The Nameless City" (1921; also where the name of the quest achievement comes from) - a short piece where a man finds an ancient (still occupied) civilization of reptilian creatures under the Arabian desert - but is better known for its appearance in "The Call of Cthulhu" (1928). The couplet is attributed to the "mad Syrian poet" Abdul al-Hazred (nonsense name) in the Kitab al-Azif (or just "Al-Azif"), also known as the Necronomicon. Genshin's "nameless city" refers to Gurabad, which is also called a "city of brass;" Lovecraft makes references to a brass door that bars the way to where said reptilians reside.

The Sands of Al-Azif

This section of the Desert of Hadramaveth, as mentioned in the previous point, is a reference to Lovecraft's fictional "Al-Azif." Like the name of its author, "Al-Azif" means absolutely nothing in Arabic. However, Lovecraft alleges within his piece "History of the Necronomicon" that it refers to the "demonic" sounds insects make at night. Notably, this is the area of the desert where the Setekh Wenut dwells - even though worms are not technically insects. (Honestly, the jury is still out on whether the Wenut are supposed to be worms, fish, or serpents...oh well.) The "Al-Azif"'s author, Abdul al-Hazred, has likely inspired the numerous Sumeru academics who (like him) lose their minds while wandering through the desert, while the Necronomicon itself can be seen as an inspiration for the various pieces of "forbidden knowledge" that can be found in books and texts across Teyvat.

"The Greenery Out of Space" Achievement

This achievement that became available after Fontaine opened in 4.0, unlocked by defeating the Dendro Hypostasis in Co-Op mode. Lovecraft's story "The Colour Out of Space" (1927) deals with a Massachusetts family dealing with the consequences of a meteorite crash-landing on their farm. What begins as a boom in the size of their crops turns into a blight that takes the form of an unidentifiable "colour" the likes of which no human has ever seen; the color infects the plants and the water, eventually causing the family to mutate. The story was adapted into a movie starring Nic Cage in 2019, if it sounds like your sort of thing.

While this only barely has anything in common with the Dendro Hypostasis, Genshin lorecrafters have discussed how the color magenta has been consistently used to represent Forbidden Knowledge - a substance (or energy) known to be extraterrestrial in origin (Nibelung the Dragon King got it from...somewhere to be utilized in the war against the Primordial One). Magenta is often considered a color that "isn't real" - the tl;dr being that out brain combines the lowest and highest wavelengths in the visible light spectrum (red and purple) into a "new" color that doesn't actually exist on the spectrum of visible light. It isn't completely accurate to say it's not real, but you can see how it could be easily utilized by storytellers to represent something ~beyond human comprehension~. In fact, magenta is used to represent the horrifying "colour" in said Nicholas Cage movie.

These are some of the more overt references to Lovecraft that can be found in Genshin thus far. Since HYV apparently has a track record for name-dropping Lovecraftian stories and entities into their games, I have no doubt we'll be seeing more as time goes on. (Personally, I'd really love to get a King in Yellow reference while we're in Fontaine, considering He has ties to the theatre and France. But that's just me.)

If there are any I've missed, feel free to send an ask and I'll add it to the list!

[your-averagewriter]

Can you write one where male reader who is Natasha and Yelenas little brother and an Avenger gets ambushed because of their silly error during a drunk night out. Despite being very skilled due to being out numbered, he gets kidnapped and brutally tortured for information. They rescue him but due to his extremely injured state, he almost dies. They barely save him and then they're ashamed of thmeselves and reader calls them and forgives them. He helps them thru the guilt. Love interest: spiderman (boy x boy) and OC name: Leo Nikolaev

Summary: At a party, Leo Nikolaev is kidnapped and tortured for information about his siblings whereabouts but luckily he's saved by the Avengers including his sister and boyfriend (Peter Parker x Leo Nikolaev (oc)).

Word count: 2.4K

Warnings: Violence, torture, weapons, alcohol,

-

-

Music is blaring through the speakers and paired with the shining lights it makes for quite an atmosphere. Billionaires’ parties don’t disappoint, I think to myself reaching for another glass off of Natasha. We were invited to this guy’s birthday party. People seem to want Avengers at their parties a lot and who am I to ignore the invites? Also, it’s not just me and Natasha at this party, Steve’s here, Wanda, Pietro and Bruce is standing awkwardly in a corner somewhere.

I dance with Natasha and Wanda, both of them too drunk to care about anything. After a long mission we deserve to dance, laugh and relax.

That is until suddenly the music stops and I notice the distinct lack of people in the room, how did I not notice before? There only remains my friends and men previously dressed in party attire now pulling weapons from their jackets.

My eyes dart around the room, although a lot slower than usual due to the alcohol in my system, trying to find an exit or come up with a plan. The others mimic my movements but seem frozen for a second before properly reacting. Quickly, guns are knocked out of hands and despite being drunk the others manage to take out a lot of them. However, I dread Bruce getting involved because this party would get even messier.

I feel something jabbed into my back and then my eyelids drooping. My body feels numb but I try to push away people in front of me but I can’t even be sure they’re actually there. My head feels fuzzy and heavy at the same time as I feel myself being dragged away from the centre, watching over the others in the room. I fight back as much as I can, the muscle memory kicking into action as I’m trained for situations like this but it’s useless.

They’re fighting a lot better than I did, I imagine I had more to drink but even as my eyes close I feel hope that they escape the ambush. I can feel my consciousness leaving me as I fully lose control of my body and I’m out cold.

Minutes, hours, days I’m not sure later I feel my eyes open again, my head pounding. Rope binds my wrists tightly to some metal but my eyes haven’t cleared yet so I’m unable to see my situation. Tape rubs against my teeth and pulls at the small hairs above my lip. I can feel more rope digging into my ankles, tying me to what I can now see is a metal chair. It’s cold against my back as parts of my shirt have been ripped and removed.

Soon after I wake up I hear the door open and I crane my neck, looking around to see it. The room is dirty and damp, the metal lining of the door is rusted. Looking around to the door I see two men walk in, one who looks very cleaned up - a suit, tie, jacket, even an expensive watch and then another who has an industrial apron on and large boots. I realise quite quickly, despite my headache, what’s going on, the man in the suit is gonna ask questions or threaten me whilst the other is some sort of torturer.

The suit-wearing man walks over to me with a smile, grabbing a fistful of my hair and pulling my face to look at him but I notice he’s wearing thick leather gloves, not wanting to get his hands dirty, figuratively and literally. I stare up at him, grimacing slightly but not wanting to test my luck too much.

“Hello, Leo Nikolaev .” He says with a strong Russian accent and I reply but it’s muffled by the tape covering my mouth. “Ah, yes, it’s a bit difficult to talk with that in your mouth.” He says with a smirk, stalking over to me. Leaning down, he removes the gag from my mouth. “That’s better. Now, do you know why you’re here?” He asks, pulling up another much nicer chair. 

“Because you kidnapped me.” I say flatly and he chuckles.

“I’ll take that as a no.” He pauses briefly but the other man setting up equipment is very distracting. He lays out tools including hammers, knives and pliers making me feel very jumpy and nervous but I’d never let it show. “You are here because the Avengers have some things of mine.” I stay quiet. “Now, I’ve got you back but I’m still missing a couple of things.”

“I don’t know who you are.” I emphasise.

“You will. Sadly, my men weren’t able to retrieve your sister last night so we’re going to need your help.” He says, smiling throughout.

“You want my help to kidnap my sister?”

“Yes, Natasha and your other sister, Yelena.”

“You’re insane if you think I’m gonna help you kidnap my sisters or anyone for that matter.” I say and instantly he punches me in the face. Right on my cheek when I wasn’t expecting it - so much for not getting his hands dirty. Spitting some blood onto the floor I look back up at the man.

“Sorry,” He smiles. “I didn’t mean to do that.” He says and mentally I roll my eyes. “But I assure you that you will help me, it may take a little while but you will come around.” He says before standing up. “Now that introductions are done, we can get started.”

“Introductions?” I question. “I still don’t know who you are.”

“It’s not necessary to begin the interrogation.” Sighing, I listen as he begins the questioning. The questions are stupid and I don’t even know the answers to most of them but after hours of basic questioning they turn to a more extreme method.

The larger man unties me from the chair but is careful to remain holding on to me. Soon after, he ties a chain around my ankles and I watch him confused on where the chain goes until he starts pulling another side of it. Quickly, I fall over, my feet pulled out from underneath me as the man pulls the chain until I’m dangling from the roof. The metal digs into my ankles, drawing blood as the restraints are tightened.

The questioning continues about where my sisters are, who else is with them and similar questions that cause my head to hurt. Except now, after a question I don’t answer they prod me with electric batons or physically beat me. Blood runs down the side of my face from the multiple blows to my head and after what I imagine is days I start to feel myself fading. Each assault seems to hurt less and less but I can feel myself slowly dying and each day it feels harder to keep my eyes open. 

I hear footsteps by the door again and I look dead ahead of me, feeling myself slowly spin around on the chain awaiting the continuous torture from them each day. My clothes are ripped and bloodied and my shoes are nonexistent at this point. Dread takes over my body but I can’t muster up any energy to do anything about it, I just stay silent waiting for the beatings again.

Now there are voices coming from outside the door and this time it feels different than usual, I don’t recognise the voices or the footsteps.

The door is pushed open after seconds of fiddling with the lock and I hear a group of people burst through the door. Panicked voice mingling with others’ fear.

The chain has spun me around enough to see the people that busted open the door and I’m met with familiar faces.

“Natasha?” I ask, quietly, my voice barely audibly and even simple words cause pain to ripple down my throat. “You’ve got to get out of here.” I say in a hushed voice, feeling my eyes getting heavier.

“Leo’s in here.” I hear someone say and watch as Peter runs through the door, crouching just in front of me. He’s wearing his suit except it’s sort of incognito so it’s black not red. Pulling off his mask, he looks at me with saddened, rushed eyes,

“You’re gonna be okay.” He says and all I can say is:

“You’ve got to get out of here.” I say with my voice wavering, trembling from tears I can’t cry.

“We’ve got to get him down.” He shouts back to others. “It’s okay, we’ll get you out of here.” He says, looking into my eyes.

“You need to leave.” I say, my voice breaking. I watch as he stands up and scans the room for the chain or any way to cut it.

“I’m not leaving you.” He says, walking around the room ,reaching for the end of the chain. Finally he reaches it and slowly lowers it down and I can feel the wet floor on my back. Soon after touching the floor I feel myself starting to lose consciousness again, the blood loss taking a toll on me. Once again, I feel the arms of sleep engulf me or maybe not the arms of sleep but the arms of death, no matter which it feels just as comforting.

“Come on!” I hear Peter yell to the others which is met with calls to medics and similar but then my eyes seal themselves shut.

It feels like an eternity before I feel them open again, I was unsure that they would but they do. Instead of the cold air on my back I feel the soft presence of a bed, not the most comfy but much more so. The air smells clean like a hospital but it’s reassuring compared to the smell of damp and mould.

Through my eyelids I can see light leading my eyelids to open slowly all though I squint as soon as the light hits my eyes. Once they’ve readjusted I look down at myself, I’ve been propped up in a hospital bed and bandages cover almost all of my body but I’m too drugged up to feel the impact of my injuries. My head is resting on a pillow but I can feel the layers of bandages wrapped around it, protecting my skull.

Looking around at the room, the walls are painted white and I recognise it as the medical room at the compound. I’ve been here multiple times for various injuries so the nurses know me well. I look to my side and Peter is sitting in the chair with his eyes closed, hand still resting on my beaten and bruised arm - he must have dozed off.

The beeping of the machines is surprisingly soothing, a sort of reassurance that I’m still alive constantly in the background. I try to push myself up in bed but I instantly regret it when I feel the impact of my wounds. I’m careful not to move my arm too much, trying not to wake Peter but the slight movement of my arm causes him to jolt awake.

“Leo. Oh my god.” He says, a sigh of relief leaving his mouth. “You’re awake.”

“Seemingly.” I say although my voice is croaky.

“Please don’t talk. The doctor said not to let you talk much because your throat is injured.” He says, leaning forward in his chair, careful not to injure me. Following his command I just nod with a small smile but I have to hide the pain that smiling causes me.

“Is-” I have to pause with my throat. “Nat okay?” I ask.

“Yeah, everyone’s okay, you were the only one captured.” He says, looking down. “They were really upset and ashamed that they couldn’t save you.”

“It’s not their fault.” I croak out. “No one forced me to go and I shouldn't have drunk so much.”

“I should’ve been there…” Peter starts and I flex my fingers signalling for him to place his hand in mine.

“It wouldn’t have been any different.” I try to reassure, smoothing my thumb over his knuckles. “Can I talk to them?” I ask.

“They’re outside, they’re very worried about you, especially Natasha… I’ll go get her.” He says, standing up and walking to the door. Opening the door, he walks out and a few seconds later he returns with a tired looking Nat, bags under her eyes and hair unbrushed but she hurries in the room.

“Leo, I’m so sorry.” She says, tears already brimming her eyes. “You shouldn’t have been taken-” I cut her off by holding onto her hand, which seems like the only affectionate gesture I can muster at the moment. Along with the small gesture I smile at her, once again, a painful action.

“It’s,” I swallow. “Fine. I’m fine.” I say, trying hard to maintain the smile.

“Pete said that you’re not meant to talk so we’ll talk about this once you’re better.” She says, her face now damp with tears.

“Go home, Nat.” I struggle with all the words but force them out eventually. “Get some new clothes, get some sleep. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, I’ll be back tomorrow and come see you again, okay?” I nod, gently. “I’ll see you then, little brother.” She says, leaning down and placing a kiss on my forehead, probably the only place with skin that’s exposed.

“Is anyone else here?” I ask Peter once Nat’s left the room.

“Everyone’s here.” He says.

“Could you send the others in but tell them ‘no apologies’. I don’t have the strength to reassure people.”

After weeks of healing cuts and bruises I faced months of physical therapy and mental therapy to try and move past the experience. The Avengers have been monitoring the guy and corporation who kidnapped me and there’s been no signs of any plan despite his threats.

The last few months have been hard, not only physically but mentally. I've spent hours in conversations with friends that attended the party, having to reassure them that it’s not their fault but it takes a toll - it’s tiring. 

But luckily, Pete’s been by my side the whole time. His patience and kindness are unmeasurable, he’s been there comforting me after nightmares and flashbacks and I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for him as well but I know that one day we’ll be able to move past the incident. I may have the scars for life but I’m not going dwell on that week of my life, once I’m well again I’m moving forward.

-

AN: Thank you for the request I really enjoyed writing it!

I hope you enjoyed reading!

[commiemartyrshighschool]

This right here is my key philosophical objection to a lot of AI generated stuff.

(The fact that many of these systems are consistently and dangerously wrong about objective facts is the single most important argument against their use in many cases, but that could theoretically be solved at which point my day job as a journalist will face an existential threat finally born from technology instead of just capitalism.)

The scraping and remixing aspect to me really doesn't separate AI generated content in a substantive way from derivative works in general or something like a collage. Although the fact attribution and acknowledgement of influence become much harder makes it a thornier ethical dilemma, it really comes down to a case-by-case matter just like other spaces where there are lines between the stolen and the transformed to argue about.

AI could have potential as a labor saving system, and I think there's interesting applications out there where somebody uses it as raw material they edit or carve away from to provide something with a human touch. But when the AI's work itself is presented as the finished product it's not a matter of it lacking a human essence, it's a matter of it lacking human effort and labor.

The child's macaroni art has more intrinsic meaning than the sculpture from Homegoods. The handwritten note has greater emotional weight than the Hallmark card from the pharmacy. And that is because a large aspect of art is communication, expressing an idea or an emotion or a fact in a way that can pass from one consciousness to another.

AI can imitate that in a fully convincing way, but why wouldn't you value messages from a human more highly? Being sent through a phone tree or speaking with an AI for customer service is always a miserable experience, we're all demanding to speak to a real human not only means a human who is probably better able to handle the lateral thinking necessary to handle most of our problems is there, but the fact you're holding their attention, and perhaps able to make an emotional appeal, is so important.

The interesting parts of an essay or a piece of fiction, or a photo or a painting will usually be in some way the result of how we can relate to the person responsible for it. Maybe at some point prompting will become so sophisticated an art that we can gain some of that information, but right now it tends to be at enough of a remove that we can't begin to detect it from the piece itself.

[alethealt-context-studies-yr2]

Marc Quinn; Self

(to be rewritten with references later)

Marc Quinn is a British Contemporary artist whose work focuses on "what it is to be a person living in the world." He rose to prominence in 1991 with his sculpture "Self".

"Self" is a cast of his head made entirely of his own blood, frozen and kept in a refrigerated display. "It is the purest form of self portrait (being of the artist - both in appearance and material) but also a comment on Man’s need for infrastructure, as the sculpture is kept ‘alive’ only by a mains electricity supply." It's symbolism can also link to other forms of dependence like addiction; it was made at a time when Quinn was an alcoholic.

Since 1991, he's remade this piece every 5 years to show the ageing/changing of self over time. The sculptures each use 8-10 pints of his own blood; Quinn sees blood as "the essence of life", a material with "symbolic and real function". 10 pints was chosen as the amount as its the average amount of blood in the human body.

This piece is often seen as shock art (made just for the shock/disgust factor), but I believe it's much deeper than that. The piece can be seen as an homage to medical/scientific practices like cryogenic freezing or (as previously mentioned) could comment on addiction/dependency; being unable to survive without your life line, whether it be drugs, alcohol, people, etc. It could also comment on life itself; while 10 pints sounds like a lot of blood, seeing it in a solid sculpture makes you realise that it's not that much keeping us alive.

I think it's fascinating how he simplified identity and self into a scientific form. There is no arguing this is his "self"; it's his work, his face, but even his blood. Arguably, it's the most "self" a self portrait could be, unless it was made of more parts of oneself. It's a little morbid to see a mirror of him made with his insides and it brings into question what "self" truly is; is it our brain, with it's memories and driving power, or is it our organs and blood that keep our vessel alive? Are we consciousness in a body or are we a body that has consciousness?.

My project is exploring the use of body in art and linking to identity, and I couldn't think of a better example than this piece. It's one that's always fascinated me, but delving into it more for this project has been great. I've been making organs and insides as a literal form of identity/self which is in line with his piece being made from himself. I wanted to use this piece as an example as it focuses on a medical/biological aspect which is what I'm really interested by in my own project; I love biology, I used to hope to be a doctor, and I find mixing that passion with art creates an interested exploratory space for themes of identity. I hope to prove with my project (and Quinn's) that "gore" art doesn't have to just be shocking/disgusting, it can be though provoking and strangely beautiful (although still unsettling/uncomfortable.)

The video below is of Quinn discussing his own thoughts behind the project. The version showcased is his 2011 head.

[todoscript]

how he would ask you out

request: pls some headcanons of how the boys (shinsou/tamaki/shouto) would ask the girl they like out 🥺

characters: shinsou hitoshi, amajiki tamaki, todoroki shouto

genre: fluff

word count: 3.3k+ total, 900-1200 per character

tags: pining, confessions, fem!reader

author’s notes: sorry if this sounds rushed?? i can’t write 

copyright 2021 todoscript, all rights reserved. i do not allow my creations to be published or translated anywhere else.

SHINSOU HITOSHI

two years after his enrollment into the hero course, shinsou had finally came to terms with the feelings he’s been holding for you for quite some time now.

what began as just friendly encounters and kind gestures felt like something more to him. after all, you were one of the key people that led him to transition smoothly into the class, with your helpful demeanor and coming to his aid whenever he was stressed and troubled by the new environment.

you went out of your way to organize study sessions and small arrangements to mingle and get to know the other students better.

you reiterated to him that if he ever had any questions about anything, he could always come to you.

initially, shinsou thought he was being a burden—that he was just heavy baggage that tied you down.

however, you assured he was anything but, and stated that you were more than happy to help him, even going to say you enjoyed spending time and getting to learn more about him.

at your response, shinsou was appalled at how genuine you were.

appalled… but also very grateful.

eventually, there came a point when he realized there was no mistaking the affection he felt for you—not when he subconsciously noted every one of your habits and intricacies, able to tell whatever emotions were running through you at a simple glance, or when he would stop to admire the way you decided to style your hair differently or changed your look, thinking you seemed even more charming that day by the confidence you exude.

no, at that point, he’s sure it was painfully obvious. so obvious, in fact, that kaminari and mina had chosen to skip today’s group study session in favor of letting the two of you have your “alone time”. whatever that could mean.

shinsou had grimaced over their excuse of “being too busy that day” when you had told him the reasoning they gave you over text, despite knowing their next exam was only a couple days away. recalling just how nosy and enthusiastic they could get when involved in these kinds of affairs, he had an inkling of what exactly those two were planning. you, on the other hand, seemed completely oblivious to their schemes.

however, what did latch onto your mind was the thought of spending the day with only shinsou, in his very room, sitting across from each other with your textbooks open in front of you. though you should be more attentive to your studies, you couldn’t help the palpitations beating loudly in your chest and your wandering eyes that snuck glances at him after every question you answered.

unbeknownst to you, shinsou mirrored your actions all the same, reciprocating the flustered behavior, albeit a bit more subtly.

keep calm, hitoshi. why are you getting all worked up? he would say to himself, putting on his usual facade.

although he came off as relatively calm and collected on the outside, it’s difficult to keep his emotions in check when actions never lie.

that was especially true as he reached his hand out for the eraser you two were sharing between each other. with his eyes continuing to gander down at his notes, he hadn’t noticed that you were lunging for the same thing—not until your fingers had suddenly touched and you both pulled away at a speed equivalent to making contact with fire.

his stare unfaltering, shinsou was surprised to discern the embarrassed look on your face that immediately fixed itself as you rummaged through your pencil pouch. a second later, you pulled out another eraser, one that was notably smaller than the one you were sharing.

“um.. i’ll just use this,” you offered, and shinsou rubbed the back of his neck, the whole situation more awkward than it needed to be considering you never had any trouble sharing your supplies with each other before.

through some examination of your demeanor, shinsou had made a… bold enough claim, thinking that maybe—just maybe—you held the same kind of affections for him as he did for you.

it’s like he recalled earlier—actions never lie—and shinsou didn’t let the quiver of your lips or the intense concentration at your work to avoid meeting his gaze go past his head. that’s what spurred him to finally act on his desires.

without warning, he leaned forward on his seat to lay his hand over yours that caught your attention. you met his eyes, astonished to say the least, but more so concerned by how your eyes widened before you were about to open your mouth to ask him what was wrong.

the violet-haired male beats you to your words, voice resonating firmly, “y/n.”

you blinked. “y-yeah..?”

“i know this might be a bit late coming from me, but,” you could feel his hand tighten atop yours, “after exams, do you want to catch a movie together? just the two of us?”

shinsou fought the urge to look away, bashful at how he made his declaration for your time. the warmth surging under his skin was alleviated at the smile that slowly curled on your lips as you rotate your wrist, your palm touching his. the expression washing over your features told him you’ve been waiting for him to ask you this for a while now.

“i’d love to.”

AMAJIKI TAMAKI

ever a shy and introverted individual, tamaki has never had the heart to ask you out despite years of harboring a crush on you.

every time the thought had crossed his mind, he’d reason poorly with himself that you wouldn’t be interested in him in that way.

it didn’t help that his low self-esteem only deepened that thought that had now rooted itself in his brain.

at such a prestigious school like u.a., you were bound to find someone far more compelling than him—someone with guts, confidence, and great social skills. not a guy like him who conjures the image of potatoes at every anxiety-inducing encounter he comes across.

he was relieved enough to settle himself comfortably as just your friend—a title that allowed him to stay close and keep within your circle, all the while subjecting him to simply admiring you from afar.

but his eyes that held a hidden longing for more weren’t overlooked by a fellow student of his. or to be precise, the ever curious and free-spirited, hadou nejire.

always aware of his surroundings, it was hard not to notice that peculiar stare she’d aim at him during moments where he might’ve just finished speaking to you, or when you’d pass by and his head would naturally drift in your direction.

it was like she was picking apart every detail laid on him and it made tamaki absolutely restless.

tamaki’s suspicions and anxiety were later raised during one instance at the lunch table. he was at his usual seat next to his other big three companions, mirio and the aforementioned nejire, who was eyeing him with a gleam in her eye.

even with his self-consciousness, tamaki did his best not to pay any mind to the undesired attention and munched on his plate of takoyaki—the octopus nestled in the batter sure to come in handy later in training that day.

to his dismay, you passed by their table with your tray of food in hand, and nejire did not waste any time calling you over in that cheery tone of hers.

she invited you to sit down with them. you gave her invitation some thought before ultimately placing yourself in the free spot next to mirio, with nejire and tamaki already seated across from you.

the girl was all smiles and hums while tamaki was in a state of distress, both at his friend’s odd behavior, which was starting to spell trouble, to having you pulled into all of this. mirio was just being mirio, welcoming as always.

you greeted everyone at the table, making eye contact with mirio and nejire, but tamaki evaded your line of sight. he simply waved his reply without breaking away from his balls of takoyaki.

luckily for him, you didn’t give his lack of words much thought and started digging into your own lunch. it was then that nejire found it appropriate to start up a conversation.

“y’know, y/n, i’ve been meaning to ask you this, from one girl to another,” she mused, finger waving around playfully, “are you interested in anyone here?”

upon hearing her question, tamaki almost choked on his bonito flakes, his cheeks puffed and eyes blown. meanwhile, your chewing slowed as you gave your answer some thought.

“uh… well–”

“i’d say fujita from class d is quite the looker! think you’d be interested in them?”

after swallowing the food in his mouth, tamaki began to subconsciously listen in on the conversation. he paid close attention to your responses with bated breath, a small part of him anticipating your answer highly.

“fujita’s nice and all, but i don’t think we’d really get along as a couple.”

tamaki mentally sighed, relief evident all over his face. it was then that mirio had started fitting the pieces together after watching his close friend’s brow wrinkle throughout the entire exchange before finally relaxing at your words. crossing his eyes with nejire’s only confirmed his suspicions as the girl sent him a wink.

as a friend, mirio wasn’t about to let nejire’s operations fall flat. getting up from his seat, he motioned tamaki to come with him.

“i heard they have extra yakisoba bread right now! we should go check it out!” he said as a guise to give the other two time to themselves, free from tamaki’s prying ears.

unaware that mirio had caught on so quickly, tamaki didn’t object to tagging along with him. mostly because he thought of this as an opportunity to get some fresh air and calm his racing heart, finally feeling the effects of the blood rushing to his face.

with tamaki supposedly out of earshot, nejire was free to go about her questions however she wanted.

“okay then, if not fujita, then who? there has to be someone, right?” the girl scooted further in her seat out of pure curiosity. “tell me, is it perhaps someone in our class?”

it was your turn to be stricken by her boldness. you tried picking at your food, stuffing it into your mouth to avoid answering, but nejire’s tenacity outmatched you.

finishing your lunch, you opened your mouth to speak, “actually, the person i’m interested in is pretty close to you…”

nejire feigned ignorance, innocently placing a finger under her chin. “who? mirio?”

“ah no, it’s tamaki, alright?!” you ended up blurting, voice hushed but frantic.

bingo. hearing exactly what she wanted, nejire returned to her original position, a triumphant grin plastered on her lips. replaying what you said out loud in your head, you buried your warm face in your hands.

unbeknownst to you, tamaki had ended up hearing the whole exchange around the corner coming back to their table as mirio lightly snickered at his revelation of an expression.

the blond patted his shoulder. “go on then, you know what to do.” he threw tamaki an encouraging thumbs-up.

the boy gulped in response before inhaling a deep breath of air to prepare himself for what would arguably be the most important yet stress-inducing moment of his life so far.

noticing you getting up to discard your tray, tamaki—through a final push from mirio—went to make his move.

hearing him suddenly call out to you, you were caught off-guard. after admitting to your crush on tamaki to nejire, you felt your cheeks get hot just seeing his face right afterward.

“oh hey, did you get your hands on those yakisoba breads?” you scraped up a way to start the conversation.

“right... that… mirio managed to get the last one in the cafeteria,” he answered. then he brought his hand to rub his elbow, fidgeting in his spot as he found it difficult to look you in the eyes again.

“tamaki? something wrong? are you upset that he got the last yakisoba bread?”

he shook his head. “no, i… it’s just… i’ve been meaning to ask you this for a long time now, but never had the courage to say it to you because i didn’t think you ever liked me that way. but…” he finally mustered the determination to face you head-on. “would you go out with me, y/n?”

at first, you were speechless—absent of words as you relayed his request in your mind over and over again. then, your eyes softened, lips easing into a smile as you reached out for his hand.

“i thought you’d never ask.”

TODOROKI SHOUTO

it’s no surprise to many that when it came to asking someone out, todoroki didn’t exactly know the first thing to do.

mostly because he’s never asked anyone out to begin with.

you were the first person he’s ever felt these kinds of emotions for, and to be frank, he wasn’t sure what to make of everything that had been going through him when that root of infatuation had started to bloom inside him.

rather than sulk or contemplate on his thoughts for too long, he surmised it was best to simply come clean and ask for advice.

but when he confessed to what had been on his mind lately, he wasn’t expecting such a vigorous response from his friends.

“i’ve been thinking about asking y/n out.”

there was a layer of uncomfortable silence amongst the group before all hell eventually broke loose.

midoriya, uraraka, and iida immediately sprung from their seats in the common room, yelling “what?!” in unison. tsuyu and her frog-like mannerisms were more idle, but still surprised nonetheless.

todoroki was unfazed by their reactions, actually expecting it to go that way considering he’s never brought up any topics of that nature before. at the very least, he’s thankful he decided to say this when it was just the five of them. compared to what the whole class’s reaction would have been like, this was incredibly tame.

todoroki was used to always listening to what others had to say and never being the subject of the conversation when it came to dating.

but now things were different. he was openly admitting to them that he was regarding someone romantically. that he possibly sought a relationship with this someone—wanting to be committed to them and become the very best person he could be right next to them. to the four, this was coming completely out of left field.

after everyone simmered down and let the news sink in, the dual-haired boy resumed his thought,

“but i’m not sure how to do it.”

though the entirety of the group never had any experiences when it came to dating, they knew enough from media and pop culture to get an idea on how to help him. more than todoroki could imagine on his own anyway.

“i know! how about we go with the romantic and suave approach!” uraraka suggested. the rest asked her to elaborate.

“it’s simple! it starts by you leaving a note on her desk right before class, saying to meet you on the rooftop of the school! before the designated time, you should wait there for her with a bouquet of flowers, and then when she arrives, confess your feelings and ask her out!”

midoriya rubbed a finger against his cheek, skeptical. “i don’t think that sounds as simple as you’re making it out to be.”

tsuyu chimed in beside him. “those kinds of ideas usually only work well in books, ochako.”

pursing her lips, uraraka gave her plan a once-over, and realized it did seem a bit more involved and out of character than what todoroki was used to.

despite sharing a few more ideas with one another, they couldn’t narrow it down to any perfect one.

that was when iida clapped his hand, bringing everyone’s attention to him.

“alright, i think we’re starting to blow this whole ‘operation’ way out of proportion,” he said.

“if you’re honest about the way you feel about her and show it sincerely, i’m sure she’ll consider your feelings. you don’t have to do anything extravagant when it comes to asking someone out.”

listening throughout every word, todoroki nodded. meanwhile the other three were astonished that their class representative could be so whimsical when it came to romance, which in turn, iida was conflicted by. however, at the very least he was glad they could help out a friend. and so, todoroki went about his day with their discussion in mind.

he found that in many occurrences, whenever he crossed by you and thought of it as a chance to ask you out, there would always be someone to come in and take your time away. leaving him to stand there awkwardly before dismissing the fated question for later.

eventually, the sky dimmed and evening arrived, and by then, the whole class was already back at their dormitory and about to have dinner.

through some rather convenient circumstances, you two were actually assigned on kitchen duty that night.

“it’s been getting pretty cold lately so i was thinking we should cook up a hot pot for everyone.” you gave your idea to him as you pulled out some ingredients from the fridge, waiting for his reply, but it came a few seconds later than you were expecting.

“right. sounds like a good idea,” todoroki answered a tad late. upon realizing it was only going to be the two of you making dinner tonight, his mind was occupied by what he and his friends spoke about earlier.

that was when he started overthinking the situation and absentmindedly half-assed his work.

“todoroki, the cut on the tofu is slightly uneven.” you reviewed his cutting board. looking down, he saw the inconsistent slices of tofu limp in front of him. if bakugou were the executive chef for the evening, he would’ve had to hear an earful from him.

“sorry…” he apologized quietly, reaching out for another cube of tofu to cut.

“is everything okay? i know you’re still learning how to cook, but i’ve seen you show some significant improvement on your knife skills recently.” you voiced your concern for him.

the white and red-haired boy stared at the white bean curd while hearing your worried tone and couldn’t find it within himself to continue the task. it was now or never he thought. he laid the knife flat on the cutting board.

“actually, i wanted to ask you something.” he turned toward you. “do you… want to go out with me?”

nothing but the sound of the fire running on the stove could be heard in the kitchen. todoroki didn’t move his eyes away from you, watching you nearly drop the plate of siu choy and shiitake mushrooms out of shock as your mouth was hanging open.

when you caught onto your bearings, you let out a small laugh. “oh… i… wasn’t expecting that,” you admitted honestly, placing the ingredients on the counter safely.

the boy furrowed his brows. “is that a no?”

“n-no! i mean that isn’t my answer! i–” you fumbled with your words, cheeks warming up now that his confession had finally sunk in. in the meantime, todoroki found your reaction quite amusing. the corner of his lip quirked into a grin.

“what i mean to say is that yes, i’d love to go out with you.” you accepted the offer wholeheartedly. todoroki would be lying if his heart wasn’t throbbing from anticipation. he’s glad he’s able to rest and put that aside.

“now let’s continue making this hot pot together!” you cheered, smiling widely and he found comfort in your words before resuming slicing the tofu.

[shihalyfie]

(Sorry for the long ask below- I really wanted to present details since the idea I'm asking about is pretty wild compared to the character.) What do you think of the idea of Tagiru's pride and exaggerated bragging coming from a place of insecurity?

I'm specifically talking about one line when he's fighting with Gumdramon. He says that his/Gumdramon's only redeeming quality is being straightforward. It stuck out because he said that they BOTH only had one good quality, even though Tagiru seems to be prideful. This felt one-off until I remembered that Tagiru DOES criticize others for qualities he himself has. In the FlaWizardmon episode, he says that the baseball/judo club's only point of charm was their energy. In the MetallifeKuwagamon episode, he tells Hideaki not to talk to (the bug kid) because he's obsessed with bug-hunting. You'd think that Tagiru wasn't the kind of person to exclude others after watching the Phelsemon episode. Perhaps it's on purpose, maybe he's being mean to these people because he's taking out his insecurity on them. He was probably taking out his insecurity on Gumdramon too, since Gumdramon's the character that's supposed to be the most similar to him. If Tagiru sees his good points in Gumdramon, he'll probably see the bad too.

When Tagiru and co. were insulted by SuperStarmon and called a third-rate, Tagiru calls himself a first rate instead. However, not only does he do that, he calls Yuu and Ryouma the third rates instead. He didn't NEED to bring Yuu/Ryouma into it, but he did anyway. He's saying "I'm better than those guys, don't compare me with them," which ties into my question of him projecting his insecurities and exaggerating his ego. He sees a trait of his that he doesn't like in someone else, and he criticizes it so he can feel above them although he feels worse than they do.

Hmm, I'd say it's a bit complicated. I think there is certainly compelling evidence that Tagiru's motives have some kind of connection to insecurity, because, after all, forming the entirety of your goals on "surpassing others" and not much else definitely has the scent of someone who hasn't developed enough of a self-identity to have any other goals for oneself. However, I'm also not sure if I would say it's entirely just that, because the fact he even openly admits that he wants to surpass characters like Taiki (and implicitly Yuu) indicates that he's well aware of and willing to admit his own need to improve in certain areas. So while I do think him often beelining to putting others down probably comes from him needing to rely on something like that to self-affirm, I also feel part of his own way of life (so to speak) comes from a premise of seeing everything as a competition, so in his mind everyone should be scrambling to better themselves this way, and therefore everyone is his rival.

In fact, I might even go as far as to say this is a recurring theme among the Hunters characters as a whole. Taiki is a "neutral" party because he actually knows the full depth of the otherworldly war from a year prior, but Hunters sticks out as one of the few Digimon settings where it's possible to not entirely be a villanous or antagonistic character yet also still be a "selfish" Tamer who acts out of one's own self-interest and goals first and foremost (any altruism is a side benefit). Even friendly Hunters like Kiichi, Hideaki, and Mizuki are prioritizing their own personal goals before anything about protecting or saving others. The Hunt is a competition (and is revealed to have been expliciltly made for that purpose in the end), so it attracts people who view things that way.

Even Yuu, who's trying to be a neutral party like Taiki, is not completely immune; although he consciously knows better from his experiences a year prior, his resentment still comes to the forefront specifically because he's upset Tagiru gets to have a partner and he can't (and, more implicitly, that he perceives Tagiru as having done less to earn it). His Hunters image song Shining Dreamers even has the line "A game that doesn’t have your heart in it won’t find what’s in store tomorrow", and you could even argue that his initial trouble in the first two series happened because he was venting out all of the competitive spirit he'd been holding back. And then by the end of the series, we find out that Ryouma's fixation with Taiki is arguably even worse than Tagiru's; Tagiru at least has a more casual background of being part of Taiki's team and realistically understanding what it takes to have him as a role model, whereas Ryouma is still fixated on one event of Taiki looking really awesome from a year prior to the point it's eating him up.

Tagiru has a very lighthearted approach to everything, and (probably because it was only two cours) Hunters never gets to a degree where he's pushed to a true emotional breaking point, so it's often hard to tell what his more deep-seated feelings on a situation are because a good amount of the time he's joking, or probably doesn't mean what he's saying seriously. Or in other words, it's often hard to tell how much he really means it when he makes fun of others or puts them down, because he's saying things in such a lighthearted manner that (at least to him) it may not really be meant as much deeper than saying something like "these losers over there". In regards to Gumdramon, where the relationship is much more personal, keep in mind that them partnering up in the first place was originally pragmatism -- they were intending to use each other to gain an edge in the Hunt, so in other words they started off on a note of "how useful can you be to me?" Obviously, as time went on they started forming a much more geniuine bond, but constantly evaluating how "useful" they were to each other in order to get a leg up on the competition was probably still a big thing on their minds in the early stages of their partnership, and still manifests in them being a lot more openly critical of each other than most Digimon partner pairs would be.