#altho... i think some of that is my notes actually so maybe not

[ladytauria]

Jaytimsteph falling in love with your best friends partner you say 👀 please say more

happily!

this one is being written as a prompt response to @waffleinator-inator <3

writing it was my first time writing steph pov and she just---ran away with me <3 basically: steph and tim are besties but also exes, because as much as they love each other, they finally decided to give up after one too many break-ups. and now! tim is with jason <3 and steph is really happy for him. really, and truly she is.

now.

if she could kindly tell herself to stop falling in love with jason too, that would be nice <3

i THOUGHT i had shared snippets of this wip before but i,,, have not. or if i have, i can't find them in my tags / through tumblr's search. which is upsetting bc it means i now have to pick which of these segments i want to share TuT

hm.

you know what.

actually i won't pick. you get um. 3 snippets <3

Steph spins her chair, balancing her elbow on the arm and cradling her chin in her hand. She thumbs her phone open. One unread message in the group chat she shares with Jason and Tim.

Her traitorous heart flutters; a smile curling on her mouth despite herself.

[TIM] gna mss mv nte. sry steph 😔 m SO bhnd on bdgt rvw; tam’s gna kill me. u 2 shld stl hve fn tho

Ah, yes. Timothy “vowels are optional” Drake. He’s the most atrocious texter Steph has ever met, and she hates that that makes her feel fond.

[STEPH] i thought you loved paperwork?

[JAY] No, he’s a stalker who loves digging through other people’s stuff. Actual paperwork he could care less about

[TIM] 🛑

[JAY] No <3 I told you to do it last night, babe.

[STEPH] lmao busted

[TIM] ws bsy

[JAY] He was gaming with Kon and Bart.

[TIM] & cassie & cissie

[JAY] And Cassie and Cissie.

Steph snorts.

[STEPH] oh, well, that was more important, obvs

[TIM] steph gts it

[JAY] Please don’t encourage him.

[STEPH] that sounds perfect. ur the best jay 💜

[TIM] 😭

[STEPH] do your paperwork, tim 💅🏼

[TIM] prsctn

[JAY] …wtf tim

[STEPH] damn, babe. u made jay drop capitals

[STEPH] but also. what the fuck tim

[TIM] persecution

[JAY] Would it really kill you to type out full words?

[TIM] y 🙂

[STEPH] losing battle, hon. we’re lucky he still uses letters.

He doesn’t bother with Cass. Their conversations happen in full emoji, like modern hieroglyphics. Steph gives herself an 80% chance of correctly deciphering them.

With the rest of them, Tim uses words. Or, well. Something approximate to words, chopping them down to their basest parts. It’s kind of entertaining, especially when it makes both Bruce and Jason furrow their brows in exactly the same way.Not that Steph would ever point that out. She has some sense of self-preservation.

Steph will always be a little bit in love with Tim Drake.

It’s something she’s come to accept about herself, the same way she accepts that her curls will always have a mind of their own, that her stretch marks are here to stay, and that her left knee will always ache before it rains.

She also knows that it’s best they stay just friends. Not that that’s a hardship, or anything. Tim is a hell of a lot better friend than he was a boyfriend—though in hindsight, Steph can admit she wasn’t a stellar girlfriend, either. They were young and dumb—or, well, younger and dumber—and now their history was too fraught to ever think about trying again.

Steph loves being Tim’s bestie, even when that means biting her tongue about his relationships.

Especially with Jason Todd of all people.

Steph can honestly say she never saw that coming.

Like, sure, okay. He’s hot. Steph can admit that, she’s got eyes.

He’s the kind of guy you could actually climb like a tree—tall and broad and thick to boot, with thighs made for biting and pecs Steph is pretty sure would fit nicely in one of her bras. He’s also handsome, in a rugged sort of way, with his twice broken nose and the scar curving up his cheek and his full, kissable lips. His curls always manage to be perfect, too—artfully messy, even when he falls asleep on the couch or takes off that helmet of his.

It’s enviable, really.

Some day she’ll ask him his secret.

But… Steph always kind of saw him as a walking bad idea. The kind of guy baby Steph would have adored, which… Steph loves baby Steph—or she’s trying to—but she had shit taste in men. And Jason, with his leather jackets and guns and daddy issues (and mommy issues too, come to think of it)—

He certainly fit the bill.

Except—

Despite all outward appearances… Jason is a good guy. He’s smart, and funny, and passionate, and kind, and—

Ugh.

Steph kind of hates him a little.

Because, like. Steph can handle thinking about Jason sometimes, in a not-so-friendly, maybe-a-little-bit-sexy way. Tim, too—or even both of them together. Maybe sometimes it gets a little awkward but… Fantasizing is human, and Steph is an adult. She can picture them fucking her and each other six ways to Sunday, doing whatever the raunchiest part of her brain cooks up, and still behave normally around them after.

She’s a grown woman. Her hormones are not the fucking boss of her.

So. Attraction? Handled. Steph has that shit on lock.

What she cannot handle is—Feelings.

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

moon at madrone - and yah we did not do a performance post mortem ( also did not last month either )

its morning now and rainy an always good kitty - we sleepz more and better than have in a while - despite the rain - light and intermittent murder has come for feeding - the workmen in the building quietly for the most part

most of u may want to skip the post mortem below and scroll down to the hallelujah anyway part - making this the 1st not last appearance in this watever - if ur curious bout the drift we played ok - played better and wurser - physically less challenging last night

so we did perform last night and last month - mostly good i think - no recordings - tho we got lost and kinda strummed random notes an partial chords in the right key anyway - its in a part of "let it be" beatles witch vita had wanted to sing last time she wuz over and i looked up quick and faked it - then needed a key change causing sum confusion since altho ez nuff we had never played or thot of with distortion and efx glossing over - the t performance lacked efx but had actually worked out an arrangement sort of w possible variations and i never know exactly wat my fingers gonna do - guess came out ok - ppl seem to like it - played something else i dont remember maybe hallelujah - yah w carla - that worked and we both forget a minnit the same lyrics lol - a dramatic pause and onward -audience prolly never knowing and then stevie higher ground - its kind of hard to pull off solo - made it more bluesy hooker voodoo boogie anyway it more or less came off well w a few fluffs i think we diss guise - tho wishing i had sum efx to create a harmonic noise wall background - and on to last night - decided to - despite not completely working out the arrangement or solo - because i finally had another 2 lines - and then made up a better on the way there - played hallelujah anyway - the solos were brief and felt like fragmented almost edited - anyway it wuz ok or better and made some connection enough to get attention for the 2nd song - stand by me - which never quite comes out how i think - i have a few alternate arrangements and sometimes mix and match and its straightforward and simple complexity and fragments of similar like dance w me - i count the tears come to mind creep in - anyway - the crowd as it was more than half musicians and their friends those that brought some - they seemed to like it - i was happy enough being on stage - had been hoping it would b a 3 song night and recorded but at the last minnit anyway no recording - maybe next time

sometimes i forget to deeper trance when its time - its the getting on stage - the getting there and not wanting to injure re-injure worsen things somehow

anyway maybe a connection im sure i think actually a eensy teensy bit of magic flickers but that might bee ego sparking

this is the part where

so back to this reality this morning - i think it was raining when we left off - still iz

errands later

anyway hallelujah

[let-me-lyric]

Ok so this is def gonna be some sort of FOB blog now. My hyperfixation has returned babyyy (and I really hope this one sticks around for a while).

Anyway.

I think we need to give more love to American Beauty/American Psycho. Like I know on Spotify that it’s technically their most popular album but tbf we can probably all agree that that’s because of Centuries. There’s also Uma Thurman which is pretty popular (for good reason, it’s a BANGER) but the rest of the album deserves some love too.

Irresistible is lowkey my strut song, I love it so much.

The title track (AB/AP but I ain’t writing allat) took me a bit to get into but the bridge especially is actually such a good song? Currently playing it on repeat which is what prompted me to write this entire thing out.

Centuries is iconic and I love it I really do, it was how I found out about FOB and it deserves all the love it gets.

The Kids Aren’t Alright is honestly not really my fave but idk bro the lyrics really hit.

Uma Thurman gets me so hyped every time I hear it, I LOVE IT!

Jet Pack Blues is once more not as high energy as I usually like but they popped off with the lyrics “she’s singing ‘baby come home’ in a melody of tears while the rhythm of the rain keeps time”??? How did such a line get brainstormed and where do I get some of that absolute skill???

Novocaine is such an angry, gritty song and I don’t know what else I can say about it. Def one of my faves on the album but this is also lowkey my favorite album (lowkey, it’s not like I can just pick ONE 😥) so that tracks.

Fourth of July is ofc sad but it’s almost kinda cute if that makes sense? Like it makes me think of a cute romance that didn’t end so well. Not exactly the best vibes to bring to a Fourth of July part but you best believe I ABSOLUTELY will be adding it to the playlist.

Favorite Record is similar, but it almost feels like a more… homemade(?) sound. Softer might be a better word. Like the background instrument are kinda toned down or something. It expresses such a similar meaning in such a different way IDK

Immortals feels like the earlier part of a relationship that you know is technically doomed to fail but you really don’t want to let go of. All of the time references really cement that idea for me. There’s more I was going to say but I forgot it so.

Twin Skeleton’s (Hotel In NYC). Now what do I even say about this one? Honestly, I’ve run out of things to say right now but let’s just say that if I heard this one in concert I would probably die. S tier. No further notes.

Also this is maybe an important disclaimer: I have zero experience with love and I don’t intend to get any (aromantic babyyy 😍). So my analysis might be a bit inaccurate but who’s doing research for smth like this anyway?

TL;DR: y’all are SLEEPING on AB/AP, but also every album is equally good in its own way (altho I’m ngl I could never bring myself to listen to evening out with your girlfriend but someday I will, promise).

…yeah. I think it’s clear how not normal I am about this band.

[olde-scratch]

if i already posted this pls link me the post and ill delete this one i tried looking but i couldn't find it

all the stuff utc because NO tumblr does not need to know about my weird crossover fic and the decisions that went behind naming a one-off character.

HEY WHOA WDYM I NEVER POSTED THIS I THOUGHT. I THOUGHT I HAD IT SCHEDULED. TUMBLR. HEY. HEY TUMBLR. WHY DID YOU DELETE MY THING INSTEAD OF POSTING IT. HEY.

anyways heyy. this was supposed to be linked in the latest update about seven hours ago. ahhh eto bleh and all that.

i think i was supposed to redo all the lineart and coloring but anyways my idea for this guy was that he was originally meant to fill the role that the baron cola fills in the current version of cyborg ciderman, which is to say a recurring antagonist. his name was Doctor Sierra Mist (Shiera Misuto), abbreviated to be Dokushi by fans.

dokushi was actually taken off-air because of rumors that sierra mist were mad at their name being used for it (tho im unsure if those would be true since idk if sierra mist ever expanded into japan) and also that he was too scary for children.

i think its important to note how i ended up naming him dokushi in the first place lol. i really liked the title "doctor", but not "pepper" since that would end up being abbreviated to "peppa" in katakana. i asked a discord for one of my discontinued fics for help and it helped me establish some initial rules, then i came up with the nickname "dokushi" and it spiraled from there because i really liked that name.

anyways the only other important things to say is that he uses plastic straws instead of nails (to teach kids about environmental waste) and that yuuta knows nothing about this character bc he was so young, but he thinks that dokushi and ciderman are besties and is still eagerly awaiting dokushis return. he will never return, btw.

altho.......... mlp did an episode where they basically crammed a bunch of fan stuff into 20 or so mins as a shoutout to the bronies. what if............... special ciderman episode where dokushi makes an appearance. OR......................... ciderman movie.

anyways heres the dokushi art by itself maybe one day ill reline and recolor it all and provide an actual ref sheet for this design but do we really need that rn. no.

ALSO IF UR GREEN/FIZZYCARBON PLEASE DO SHARE YOUR VERSION OF DOKUSHI AS WELL I AM VERY EXCITED FOR THAT IF YOURE STILL DOING IT.

[jenbobbyy]

hey if youre still doing hcs could you do specimen 12/old man pls?

INHALES. okay. i dont even know where to start

old man. for convenience im just gonna call him OM for the rest of this because i refuse to call him stanley. stanley is a SPECIFIC name that can only be given to SPECIFIC people with a SPECIFIC voice commanding their actions

looking at the wiki he's described as middle aged... maybe early 50s-early 60s?

youtube has been around for about 15 years and it probably started out as a hobby when he was in his 40s. although he never gained THAT much traction he was probably a niche exploration channel with a little following that dwindled over the years

the guy has a past in professional climbing but urban exploration was a prominent side hobby and interest for him so!!!

most of his notes as the vlogger victim are weirdly calm? i doubt he had much experience in paranormal prior but i guess if you're an urban explorer you're used to places being pretty nasty the further you go

he definitely encountered the specimen (since they're referenced in pretty much every other victim's notes and it's described that he went through specimen areas) but the fact that he never mentions them in his notes is interesting (i guess all these horrors beyond comprehension all equate to an 'uneasy vibe'). there's a lot of persona involved in vlogging so in refraining from actually mentioning any wounds or monsters he's encountered OM is masking the fear he has. he wants to let everyone know 'hey!!! hey im okay and managing!!'

i think the prospect of having an audience might have left him at least a little comforted. he probably found other lines of notes at the time and took solace in the concept of people knowing he's alive and moving (even if they don't know him personally)

i still hate the fact that his writing patterns completely change between specimen 12 and endless mode hallways but i get that if he was going 'hey guys. erm, so THAT just happened.' it would ruin suspense from a gameplay point of view so. I'll let that slide :/

he's been in for a few months and by the time the protagonist meets him, he's not COMPLETELY gone. specimen 12's weird parasitic nature relies on the prior host's death, and in parrying axe attacks he still has some kind of self preservation. but he definitely doesn't remember who he is or why he's there. 12 isn't exactly fully possessing but is more of a mindfuck like foodie and bab that mess with perception and mental state. it controls but doesn't invade

in OG OM was voiced by vernon shaw (hot pepper gaming). altho this was changed as well as the chillis being removed from specimen 12 in HD, the concept of specimen 12 being so deathly and terrible that only incredibly spicy and near-toxic food being able to grow in it is funny. no wonder he sounds like that.

as to further agitate hosts into murder, 12 doesn't actually generate any food. luckily, OM isn't a cannibal host and lives off of whatever he can grow down in the basement and any dead rats or (god forbid) specimen 3 carcasses that are around. If it wasn't for the strength given to him around 12 he would have died in a week

being an extrovert and feeding from that concept of an audience, being alone has had a massive toll on his mental state. this probably made him a more desirable host for 12 - if he's craving conversation and people then having voices and mirages impact his perception would definitely fuck him up enough to give in to kill. i don't usually take common headcanon names into account but people calling 12 'parry' gave me the idea of the spirits of 12 manifesting in visions as a singular being (although this vision is different to every host) in an attempt to aid with the host sympathising and agreeing with it.......

the entire hide-and-seek style game he creates for the protagonist - as well as sparked on by the protag being someone much younger than the typical victim (ILL WRITE MY PROTAG HCS IF ASKED.....) - is a reflection of him stalling to kill in order to entertain himself and 'entertain' his victim. if it weren't for his longing for human contact he'd probably kill straight off-the-bat but the opportunity to fulfill the gap for a short amount of time is open and sought-after.

despite this, there's a mutual separation between him and other specimen. he's not seen as a nuisance alike specimen 14 as he doesn't openly attack the others but is still a missed opportunity and not particularly wanted by anyone. most of the time he remains in specimen 12 but OM will venture out (on occasion) to specimen 13's rooms. his ONE good specimen relationship!!!

ok. POST BAD-END HCS.

fumbling their way thru the mansion would likely lead 14 to again meet OM at some point. 14 being hit with the SPECIMEN BEAM definitely enhanced their strength at least enough to kill and swing that axe more effectively. in anycase, if the two were to fight and OM almost loses, the clarity given through his self preservation is enough to at least make him aware that

1. He's being beat the shit out of by a teenager

2. He's attempting to kill the only other person in a similar situation to him

speaking OF that, the parallels within sjsm of the protag and [i guess ex-protag] seem to be everywhere when it comes to OM.

posters

sprinting mechanics

garden tool weapon in 500

him recovering (or getting worse depending on how you see it) by mentoring and helping 14 survive within the mansion is always a concept i thought of given they're both humans who have (somewhat) made it through. he'd definitely have more of a drive to live on (and kill the enterers b4 they could kill him)

i had the idea that if 12 is constantly expanding and shifting through the mansion then OM and 14 could take advantage of that and start actually growing stuff.... making a little survivors camp and plotting.

anyways. those are my old man headcanons. I have absolutely taken canon and stabbed it 30 times but the concept of an ex protag is so cool

UNDERRATED CHARACTER. OLD MAN FANS WHERE ARE YOU?!

the scar i draw on him is from the fight with 14.......................

[definitelynotshouting]

WOULD YOU STILL LOVE ME IF I WAS A WORM 😭😭😭😭 WHAT A THING TO WAKE UP TO!

-☀️

Oh my god thw wings being a physical manifestation of how Mumbo doesnt know Grian anymore. He is an entirely new person, definitely mentally, technically physically-- even if he looks the same. Mumbo honing in on the wings ("his wings ruffle...behind him" "it's a foreign motion...that escapes translation") that are the thing that's different and needs a "map" drawn of it, because it's the only thing that's actually different. Sure, Mumbo can tell grian doesnt even act the same anymore, but that's much harder to put a finger on. He didnt have those wings before.

^I like to think there's some form of uncanny valley effect that people who knew Grian before feel looking at him now, ignoring the wings.

-☀️

"Then he smiles, porcelain teeth flashing in the glistering sun.

The cold, open pit of his depthless eyes fails to catch it."

Really fucking love this description ough

-☀️

"“You’re not supposed to change me back!” Grian shrills, bristling."

IT'S TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING FOR THIS TEM WTF (it is past 10am)

-☀️

"with the exquisite delicacy of a Player"

I SEE YOU YOURE NOT SNEAKY

-☀️

The wings again!! *is in distress* (side note i love seeing the world building youve been telling us about finally in the fic!!) Ok this actually makes the way Mumbo focused on the wings mean so much more. Wings are dangerous to code in, thats why Players use spotters. Grian vanished from Evo and showed up on Hermitcraft YEARS(?) later, without a word to anyone, and reappeared with those wings. Imagine going on a trail with a friend whose never hiked before and then they stop responding to your messages only to show up again after a couple of months like "Hey I just climbed Everest". You would most definitely be distressed to say the least. (although, question: how proficient was grian's coding?)

-☀️

Man this one-shot. Too many feels this early in the morning 😭 The way you've managed to capture that sense of unease around Grian. His actions are unpredictable- you dont know if he's going to laugh or get upset- really nicely encapsulates Mumbo's internal feeling that he doesn't know grian anymore. Those moments where he laughs or stares with those blank eyes, those are normal-- but linger a second too long, or catch a glimpse of the worlds that have passed since Evo started-- and he can't shake the feeling that something is wrong with Grian

-☀️

AAAAAAAAA HI SUN ANON!!! omg im so glad you enjoyed the oneshot!!! :D

Omg YES im so so glad what i was aiming for with the wings came through, thats exactly what i was going for!! This is the only physical indication that Grian has changed, and therefore the most distinct!!! Ofc Mumbo is gonna hone in on that-- its the clearest aspect he can see. And yeah, i think the first few times people saw him with the wings, it was definitely a little uncanny valley, until they got used to it

OKAY I'LL BE REAL THE EXQUISITE DELICACY BIT WAS NOT INTENTIONAL BUT IS A VERY HAPPY ACCIDENT ALDJWKDNEKNDKDE altho i did really enjoy messing with some wordplay in other areas. My particular favorite is the "inner machinations of a dropper" line-- it was such a fun way to refer to mechanical parts while simultaneously making it sound like the dropper is up to no good 😂😂😂😂😂😂

It was super nice to really put this aspect of the worldbuilding into the fic-- one of these days i'll probably rewrite chapters 1 and 2, and maybe do a little editing on 3, just so i can sorta bake those concepts in there with a little more deliberation than i did when i was first posting :] BUT YES altho its not so much dangerous (for a Player, at least) as it is difficult, and very finicky. Grian's coding is super proficient as a Player (he's still working on melding the instinctive coding of the Watchers with his Player brain tho), so he was always very capable of it, but like you pointed out, under normal circumstances he would have 100% asked someone to be his spotter while he coded them in, just in case he bugged out

And yep, we're talking a timespan of years here!!! This is a bit loose, so its subject to some minor changes, but my general timeline is that Grian, once Watcher-ified, was trapped with the Watchers for about 2-3 years before he made his escape. After that he bounced between hubs and servers for a few months, before ending up on Hermitcraft to stay. The fic itself takes place somewhere around early mid-season, i think-- since i headcanon each season to take place over a few years rather than a few months, i'd say this means Grian has been with Hermitcraft for, oh.... a little under a year now by the time this fic takes place, if that makes sense. Again these are not concrete but thats the general timeframe we're talking here. I'll probably make a separate post about this later, but in Player culture its not SUPER weird to go gallivanting on your own for a few years-- but the complete radio silence and abrupt exit from Evo are what make this notable from the norm to Mumbo and everyone else who knew Grian before

Im so deeply and genuinely happy that the sense of unease came across so well-- i was admittedly worried that the pacing was a bit fast for how Grian's reactions kept turning on a dime, but this reassures me that it works :] i wanted it to really feel like this is a familiar stranger we're looking at through Mumbo's eyes, and also i wanted to give Grian some room to display those uglier trauma symptoms that nobody talks about much in fiction. I like to think that first year back on Hermitcraft was a difficult one for him, mood-wise, because behind that rough facade his brain is about as scorched-earth as it fuckin gets

Sun anon i always ADORE your analysis thank you so so much for sending them 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 it makes my day every time, truly. Im so glad you liked the fic!!! :D

[moviefunforeveryone]

98: Death to Smoochy (2002): “Corrupt politicians make the other ten percent look bad.” so said noted war criminal and current resident of the fiery pits of Hell Henry Kissinger, and what this film presupposes is, yes, but the politicians are actually Kids entertainers. And Society. Imagine if you will that the lovable and extremely wholesome entertainers of our VERY children, were actually perverts drug addicts, crooks and of course, real jerks. Now imagine a movie where One Brave Man stands up against this rot and gives our children, and maybe ourselves exactly what it is we need. Well that is in the broadest strokes Death To Smoochy, and yet somehow it still fuckin rocks. Robin Williams is Rainbow (fuckin') Randolph beloved TV entertainer who among a myriad of flaws has been taking cash to put kids in prime locations on his extremely popular children's show. Unfortunately for Rainbow it is a pre 9/11 world (altho released in 2002 it is a very pre September 11 vibes time) and so the government actually had time to thwart his corruption. He is arrested for many crimes and most importantly loses his show. John Stewart the man in charge of Kidsnet shows (Marion Frank Stokes) has a problem, he needs his new host to be squeaky fucking clean, but when going through a list of potential replacements all he finds is reprobates, except for 'Absolute Sap' Edward Norton (Sheldon Mopes) the creator of none other than Smoochy The Rhino seen weekly at the Coney Island Methadone Clinic. Catherine Keener (Nora Wells) exec producer/child's tv host love maker is hard on Mopes until the time comes when she see that this Sap is strong as an Oak tree. No I don't really know what that means. Featuring winning turns by Harvey Firestein and Danny Devito (also the director) and one of the funniest line reads I have ever heard 'When Spinner Dunn punch drunk sweetie pie says “Don't go anywhere, Smoochy. I'll be right back after I take a dump ”' this movie is good. I mean obviously I have it on my list. DeVito as director is always interesting because the man himself is very interesting, when he's doing comedy I think he can sometimes go too hard for the 'dark' side of things, not in a shitty edge lord kind of way but from a pretty fair and correct POV. He is rare in mainstream celebrities in that he seems to have a good idea of what the problems are and more important the system that causes them (Capitalism BABY) but sometimes he just goes a step too far when describing it in comedy. I think that is where this film is not as tenable to a wide audience, ESPECIALLY back in 2002, even with the pall of 9/11 the world was still very gung ho about Crapitalism (patent pending) and any real critiques of it, especially ones that can verge on sour were really unloved by most people. A thing I will probably mention again and again is that I worked for almost 10 years in multiple video stores, and my experiences with this film were pretty singular. Women despised it back in the early to mid 00's. And I don't mean that in some shit head anti woman way, just that in my experiences women really hated this thing. I will update to say that in present day I have met plenty of women who enjoy the film and so I assume it is a cultural change not a gender change. OK COOL In closing I love this movie Williams is electric, Keener is really underrated and conveys anger and vulnerability expertly, DeVito is a good director heavy handedness or not, and he has some really lovely shots especially dealing with the taping of the Smoochy show. And look you're gonna find gentle reader that I am always gonna be into art that tells me not loving commercialism is good and if you don't that's a you problem.

[goodfully]

a little delayed but i wrote most of this in my notes app waiting for internet access hahaha i finished reading the third book yesterday, mostly in the car, im in the middle of a trip with family and relatives so this might be more vague/disorganized. mm okay thoughts on "those who leave and those who stay"!

i mean all of this in a lighthearted way! but wow idk what i was expecting with nino, i was lowkey hoping he wouldnt be a major character in the third book. oh my god, i swear every time ninos name was revealed (the author of some article, somebodys friend, some babys father, etc..) i mentally rolled my eyes.. i get that hes an important character and its great how he encourages lenu with her academic work much more than pietro ever did, but wow, tbh ive had enough with this guy hahaha

okay! i think what i liked most about this book is that that while the first two books were centered on lenu and lila looking towards their future and escaping their neighborhood, the third book was so much of them both looking back on the past. by that i mean, both their own lives in that neighborhood in naples, as well as history and politics globally.

anyway im glad we got more political history in this book, it just makes sense to i think. lenu and lilas lives are very much affected by it, and always had been, but it becomes much more clear to them now that theyre older, altho ig in different ways. mm like understanding the connection between the violence in the neighborhood they grew up in and the systems of exploitation that exist globally (like imagine finding your first boyfriend is the leader of some fascist thugs that beat ppl up in front of the factory your friend works at). i think its important bc ever since the first book im sure that we've been hearing from both lenu and lila that they feel as tho something beyond their grasp and comprehension is keeping them from escaping from the lives they had/have. and like.. maybe theyve known it was the patriarchy, fascism... before they even knew what it was. ahh the stuff that lenu said in the beginning about how we cant really escape bc the world is poisoned everywhere. its a bleak view, but that part in the very beginning was ahhhhh...

oh god, lenu having daughters.. like.. more mother/daughter relationship things... the things girls learn from their mothers (dede and elsa in front of the mirror acting dissatisfied with the way they look.. i know it was a short, insignificant scene but i would have cried) and also. when lenus mother came to take care of her, and she said "i was afraid she would never return. but she always did"... ahh!!! and then when elena told her daughters about leaving their father and both of her daughters asked if she would take them or begged her to stay. screams. oh oh oh and every single time she notices that one the younger children resembles their father???

as much as i do adore lenu, i find myself attached to lila.. so when there was that big chunk of just purely lilas part of the story, i was excited (despite the very distressing events)... anyway thoughts on that lila part:

i was thinking about how much this part showed how revolutionary movements arent that straightforward, esp between the actual working class and the intellectual students, like when revolutionary movements arent led by the ones the revolution was made purposefully to liberate? ohh actually i have a lot of thoughts on this and the events that happened, i like how much ferrante talks about it, but ill keep it short.. the part with lilas speech in the pamphlet, the fight in front of the factory, pasquale and nadia disagreeing with lenu helping lila, local and state armed fascists, union organizers not truly representing the workers, its relation to the patriarchy etc..

also so heartbreaking, seeing lila lose her mind over her child, believing that the closer he is to her, the more likely he'll break.. like her. god god i understand that feeling, but i imagine its so much worse for lila when its her own child. that thing about feeling trapped in the same fate as your parents is just so so sad. ive literally never wanted to have my own children bc of this.

i know im projecting onto lila, but tbh the idea that lila is aroace is...!!! haha.. like when she was crying and telling enzo that she loves him and wishes every night to hold him close, but "beyond that i dont want anything." and hhfhrh idk i feel this way for a lot of ppl and know i risk being left if im unable to give what the other person in a relationship wants and they suffer for it. hh

oh! i think its cool that while the revolutionary/workers rights movement was a bigger thing for lila, the feminist movement was more significant for lenu.. god pietro was so??? idk why he was so insistent on following traditional husband/wife roles. i thought something was off about him since they first got engaged and he didnt care of her novel. tbh i am happy for her and hope she gets to be content with her self and her life in the next book. oh and the new thing that lenu writes is so interesting... i think maybe the women in the books would find it the truth for them, except probably lila. so it was interesting when alfonso tells lila that he wants to if he was a woman, hed want to be like lila.

oh some other random parts i keep thinking about: when she and lila were talking excitedly like when they were children, and the talk finally inspired something in her to write a second novel. and when lila read it, and cries. and they both say they dont know who they are without the other.. and when lenu starts rambling about how she believes lila has the intense capacity for apocalyptic violence like she did at the start of the second book, i go crazy i love that hahaha. hmm and gigliola... i remember not thinking much of her yet in the first two books, but really i like her and feel a lot for her.

mm there might be stuff i forgotten to mention, but ill end this here for now! i cant believe its only one book left already...

[doki-doki-lesbians-club]

the anon asking about pan lesbian monika may be referring to me, the person who originally sent the hc. if so, hi!

I'm not a pan lesbian (just a lesbian), but the idea came from how comphet-coded monikas attraction to the player is. she's supposedly in love with this person she knows literally nothing about, while being a character in a dating sim meant to fall in love with the player character. it's very likely she believes she's in love because she's supposed to be, and not that she actually is. it's a feeling i resonate with a lot. (altho its to be noted that this works just as well for an aromantic headcanon. both is good.)

that being said, she's also canonically pan and I don't wanna erase that, thus; pan lesbian!

as for why she would identify with it, I imagine it being similar to a friend of mine; experiencing attraction to any gender, but preferring sapphic relationships.

I hope this all makes sense!

That absolutely makes sense. And thanks for the follow-up!

I can totally see this headcanon playing out, very well thought I think! Also, the comphet aspect of DDLC is one of my favorite bits to explore in headcanon, fanfiction, etc. not only because it resonates with me (both trans and lesbian) but also because it leads to discussions like this where we give the girls a choice and discuss what they might do. AHH I love this part of fandom!!!

Anyways, yes, I see what you mean! I also wonder if maybe Monikaa would be one of those pansexuals who's like "Oh I'm pan, but I lean towards girls." or something like that. Not necessarily MSPEC, but still the same idea, y'know? Just spitballin ideas here!

Monika, and by extension her attraction, is a complex topic and I enjoy these conversations about it! Whether she's just pan, pan (sapphic-leaning), ace/panromantic, or pan lesbian, she's valid! And you're valid! And we're all just having healthy discussion of these silly little characters we love so much (;w;) so thank you for the ask~! I really love this topic, might make a quite post outlining some of the thoughts we've generated here in my askbox :3

[floorpancakes]

can you post what all the results to the quiz are & what charas they have? im just curious to see the answers to what i didn't get!

ok so ill probably add to this slowly but time for some stats and answers and stuff! obviously dont check this out if you dont wanna be spoiled (thread)

first, here's the actual amounts of each results people have been getting:

when i say i had NO IDEA we'd get so many chuunis....watching the numbers go up the first few days felt like a fever dream haha

but its comforting to know that everyone is cringe and free! i for one welcome our new gothy overlords!

i was also really surprised that gimmick idols got some of the lowest scores 😭 the space that spans is so wide so i was expecting way more people to get that result since i figured it'd catch a lot of people, but i guess you guys are rare!

---

now its time to look at the archetype list:

this was pretty tricky, especially cause i was working on the quiz for funsies at silly o clock in the morning for two nights while i was dealing with some sickness induced exhaustion lol. i wanted to include more (a few like the princely type nearly made the cut), but I found there was

1. a lot of crossover between archetypes (this even happened with some of the idols i chose for the results image!!! hanayo being average idoltwt user AND a harapeko type or minori being average idoltwt user AND fake it til you make it for example)

2. some archetypes that were only based on visuals or not on personality at all

3. kind of lowkey paradoxical (eg. someone might really fit the princely type, but often in idol shows they make it so that trait is pushed on them, but they secretly wanted to be feminine all along, which like, ok but then if someone actually fits the princely vibe I'd be slightly struggling for examples and we'd get all tied in knots unfortunately)

4. the amount of answers was already getting so long that if i added any more it'd start getting difficult to come up with more answers for some of the more concrete questions (like what you'd do post graduation etc)

...so I had to kind of draw the line somewhere. especially cause i thought like 3 of my idoltwt mutuals would take it and that's it 😭 maybe I'll make a part 2 or a more extensive quiz later who knows (guess who just remembered the 'rock is life' type idols and screamed into a pillow for only just remembering...)

---

so the idol archetype categories themselves are DEFINITELY things I've picked up on in multiple series, altho they may require a lil bit of explaining so I'll quickly summarise each one when we go thru the characters. i should probably mention that some of these (like the chuunibyou) are word for word archetypes that people use all the time, while some were just me trying to put words to the character types so the wording was just a descriptor (fake it til you make it queen), altho i hope they were useful! ive seen a few people online using these terms after taking the quiz which is super cute...🙇 let's take a look at these categories shall we?

(note: i have varying levels of familiarity w these characters, i wanted to make it reasonably varied and recognisable but some of them i kind of just knew what category they fit and that's it)

---

THE CHUUNIBYOU

to those who don't know, the chuunibyou is a pretty popular archetype beyond just idols, and tends to refer to people who are stuck in or going through their 'edgy phase'; chuu-ni being short for second year of middle school syndrome (think like, 13 or 14 year olds), but the general vibe tends to be associated with emo or goth phases, claiming to have an evil eye, being or being a servant of Satan, hiding a secret shy or self conscious side with edge, yaknow. average tween behaviour. it's not limited by age tho especially in anime media! one of the examples i used is a 26 year old grown man with a job. never too late!

Like with a lot of the other categories it was really hard to narrow down the results page characters, but from left to right:

1. Todo Yurika from Aikatsu!

Yurika takes being a lifestyle lolita to the next level, being a gothic lolita and punk idol with the chuuni character of a vicious vampire, which she desperately tries to keep up as part of her career, only letting people see her quiet nerdy self once in a blue moon. She has a secret soft spot for garlic ramen and sings some of the best songs in the entire series (which is an achievement cause aikatsus songs are god tier).

music rec (won't do this for everyone, only ones i know well, but pls feel free to fill in the blanks in the comments/reblogs!): check out Glass Doll, Onegai Venus and Eternally Flickering Flame! She has two singing voices over the series, both of which are incredible.

2. Asselin BB II (Asselin Beelzebub the Second) from The Idolm@ster SideM!

Asselin is a genius chef in his mid-twenties that ended up on the streets being kicked from countless jobs because of his ....quirks. He's a chuuni through and through, and its something a lot of the people around him didn't know how to handle, but when he gets taken in by Cafe Parade (both an idol group AND a real life dining establishment) to be their chef, he finally finds a place where he belongs. He's goofy and crazy while simultaneously being an introverted and nervous personality, and claims to be a servant of Satan, which just happens to be an adorable plushie that he carries around for comfort and finds difficult to be without, who gets painstakingly dressed up in matching outfits whenever he's included in a card! Don't be fooled by his softness though, this servant of satan has PIPES. You may recognise his voice, as he's played by well-known seiyuu Furukawa Makoto.

music rec: check out Waga Konton no Sabbath Marriage to immediately ascend, or Reversed Masquerade for a taste of the full CafePa experience.

3. Tsushima Yohane from Love Live Sunshine!!

Probably the most famous on the list so I'll keep it brief! She's been at this chuuni business since she was a little girl, so she encountered a lot of loneliness before joining Aqours, but she's got a cute and clumsy personality and has a tendency to yell about being a fallen angel. She's an absolute sweetheart, despite claiming that she's angered God himself, and is always there at the scene to deliver an edgy pose or stunning vocals.

music rec: check out Kowareyasuki and Strawberry Trapper for peak Yohane vocals, honestly Guilty Kiss in general should be mandatory listening homework

[picnokinesis]

I finally got up to date on the Campervan AU a few days ago; I’ve been meaning to send this for ages, but dejumbling my thoughts took longer than I thought.

I really liked the way you’ve incorporated Grace into the respective reimagining of each plot, not just keeping her to the sideline, but making sure she gets an amount of screen time compared to everyone else while also writing her in such a way that her decisions and dialogue feels like something she’d do in-canon. Which, similar to your handling of Jamila and other supporting characters w/ limited screen time, is really impressive. I also liked how you were able to tweak a few endings so they weren’t so bleak - maybe I’m a sap, but I was genuinely heartbroken watching Vilma and Benni’s fates during Orphan 55 ngl.

Similar to the show itself - altho given the au’s overarching plot you do have a bit more leeway here as far as spreading breadcrumbs - your ability to have Koschei and co. have an almost tangible presence in each ch. is just Great, no notes (I do admit, however that much like our beloved, if not over-frazzled Doctor here, I think about this Master entirely too much. So, I probably would’ve been thinking them all plotting in the shadows even w/o the occasional mention here and there). Speaking of, I love Gat sm and I’m equally excited as I am worried about her being about to scheme w/ Koschei bc that’s just asking for all kinds of trouble - especially as we making our way towards the end of s12 and all that entitles. I do wonder how a canonical interaction between them would go, she’d probably be as wary of him as Ashad was tbh.

But above all, I think what I enjoy the most about this series is the little moments you’ve fit in-between all the bigger, more intense ones. I’d make this ask longer than it already is by listing my favorites, but I wanted to make sure I mentioned how much like ‘em.

Ahhh thank you so so much!!! I absolutely love hearing your thoughts! <3 I can't remember when you sent me this ask, so I think I might have posted a chapter or two since you sent this - so I hope you've enjoyed those chapters just as much as all the others!

With regards to Grace - I'm so SO happy that you love her in this story because I just adore writing her! I was actually very concerned that I would accidentally end up side-lining her when writing the stories, simply because she's obviously not in all of the s12 episodes that have inspired all the fics. But when I started the au, I made notes on pretty much all the main cast to figure out what they wanted, what they needed, and some flaws and strengths that they had, so I could work out how to show their development over the whole series - and so I did that for Grace too! Which actually opened up SUCH an interesting thing, because in the process of deep diving on her character (by watching the episodes where she's there/talked about) and also on Aaron's character, I could sort of...extrapolate a few things. Like if Graham says in Resolution that family means everything to Grace, then how much must it have broken her heart when everything happened with Aaron, and Ryan's mum dying? And then, of course, there's stuff I could extrapolate from the set up of the story - like, the Doctor lowkey lives with them half the time for the sake of the plot, but what kind of person invites someone like the Doctor into their life like that? And asking that question gave me some really interesting answers about Grace as well as Graham.

Regarding character voices though - I'm genuinely SO glad that everyone rings true to how they sound in the show! I think my trick with that is that I can kind of 'hear' the characters in my head - and some characters are easier than others. Grace is quite distinctive, for some reason, so if I can 'hear' her saying the lines, then the lines make the cut. Same with all the others. I actually find, of all people, Jack to be one of the hardest characters to 'hear' in my head - except for in Campervan AU, where I find him really easy to write! It's extremely odd. (Also SKSKSK Vilma and Benni BLESS you actually have to thank my beta for saving them - she was like 'make grace being there make a difference', which I really liked, so they got to live!)

And then ahhHH yessss Gat and Koschei!! I'm so glad Kosch comes over as a tangible presence, even when he's absent - I feel like that comes from me being as obsessed with him as the Doctor is, bless. But ahhh yess they're so much fun to write, honestly. I'm excited for you guys to see more of them!!

My reply is getting long lol but in short THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE SO KIND!! It is really REALLY nice to hear all your thoughts on this honestly - sorry it's taken me a little while to reply to this one but I wanted to reply properly <3 <3 I think Part 6 is definitely the most 'in-between moments' fic of the whole series - it's in its nature! - so I really hope you're enjoy this one in particular before we go off into the last leg of the journey with parts 7-9 (which will be chaotic haha)

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

I’m loving your jrwi updates btw, it’s so fun to see you experience the whole campaign!! I’m glad you’re enjoying it :DDDD

Would love to hear your guesses for what’s going to happen in the next few, because it is a LOT lmaooo 👀

Also quick note - most of us in jrwiblr tag our liveblogs as “#jrwilb” (and not #jrwi) so that we don’t accidentally spoil people in the main tag!! Since the campaign is so long yknow, there’s always people still catching up :O

Anyway just thought I’d pop by and say how much I’m enjoying all your reactions heheheh

aww tysm !!!! ty for the notice on what tag 2 use ill b sure to swap 2 that from now on !!!! sorry 4 the many many wrongly tagged posts ill probably go back n retag what i can (altho it is definitelyyy a lot so itll take some time 2 do) so rn im in the middle of listening to episode 90 but my GUESS for the next few episodes?? errr. hm well its a little difficult to guess because like the crew has abt ten million different things on their to do list. buttttt. well it does feel like everything is definitely boiling up to some sort of big all out navy vs pirates type thing but im not sure if that could rlly happen within likeee. what 10 more episodes ? i think theres like 100 in total so far right ? i mean i guess it could happen bc most of the arcs happen in like 5ish episodes. so maybe that ? thatd actually be sick tho like. avengers endgame style. i think. idk i didnt watch it

im assuming they do finally go back to zero with no more distractions and like meet ollies mum and HOPEFULLY everythings absolutely fine and nothing could possibly go wrong with that.

errrr well they only got finn back recently soo arlin is probablyyyy definitelyyy not a possibility bc finns not even awake yet so even tho i was sortaaa expecting them to find him by around this time back when i was listening 2 like episodes 20 or 30 that is. probably for like. 140 or smth like that idfk.

errr welll. yeah honestly the only things i can rlly expect r like. navy vs pirates thing. anddd. caspian finally being open w how much he flirts w the crew like oh my goddd. godddd idk man like. fuckin anythinggg could happen like omg. altho i think i am expecting some more riptide n. er. whatever. lizzies crew was called. smthberries. but more of them 2gether. AND MORE EARL NOW !!! bc hes back. anddddd yeah :3

[8-evil-annoying-catboys]

not sure if vaping was truly originally invented as a way to help cig addicts but it didn’t work and there were multiple other better solutions that already existed and didn’t look cool enough to get the new generation hooked, like nic patches and gum, so i would hazard a guess that they just claimed that as a foot in the door, knowing that eventually kids would start vaping even after mostly agreeing that cigarettes aren’t cool anymore.

but seriously, vapes are just high-tech cigarettes. unregulated so they all most likely contain many of the same addictive and carcinogenic fillers as cigs, the very same fillers that make it so much better for you to roll your own cigarettes than to buy packs (altho it’s still bad for you overall). they still burn your lungs and throat, just with steam instead of smoke so people pretend it’s safer (it’s not).

i also don’t even trust THC vapes because who knows wtf else is in there? better to buy or grow flower and smoke it, or even better, just use edibles, then you don’t have to damage your lungs and throat at all! plus THC vapes usually don’t have any CBD, or they have very little, and the reason that smoking weed is less likely to cause cancer than smoking cigarettes is because CBD is an anticarcinogen—which means that THC vapes with no CBD are equally likely to give you cancer as nicotine vapes are, while smoking the flower vs smoking cigarettes is a whole different story.

i, for one, am not excited to see how my generation ages, what with the prevalence of vapes among people under 40. i watched cigarettes slowly drain the life from my grandfather, and i’m watching his daughter, my mom, willingly follow in his footsteps with my dad along with her. i’m so glad that my siblings and i are all in agreement that we won’t do the same, but concerned for them since they are both younger than me and i don’t know that they’ll never vape, and i don’t know if they even remember when people used to call vapes e-cigarettes or if they only know them as vapes, since ik i was pretty young when the name change happened, i barely remember when people would call them e-cigs, but i DO remember it.

and like.. on that note.. it seems to me that the shift in language was intentional. electronic cigarettes/e-cigs as a name for nicotine vapes inherently ties them to cigarettes, which have mostly fallen out of fashion with young people (although it seems like they’ve actually started getting more popular w/youth since vapes were invented tbh, but i don’t have solid evidence for that). calling them “vapes” as short for vapor, seems like an intentional rebranding to distance them from cigarettes, despite being every bit as bad for you as cigarettes are, maybe even worse.

some states are trying to mitigate this, by not allowing vapes in flavors other than mint to be sold, but tbh i think vapes should be illegal altogether. they should never have even been invented, and everything’s gotten worse since then re: nicotine addiction. banning candy and fruit-flavored vapes is a good start, but you know what? alcohol tastes like piss, but people still drink it, including kids. not having any access to tasty vapes isn’t gonna stop kids from vaping, especially if they’ve already started. vapes should simply be illegalized and nic patches/gum should be more prevalent and accessible for people of all ages trying to quit smoking or vaping.

if you haven’t already, please don’t start vaping. it’s literally just as bad for you as cigarettes, and being bad for you is the reason why cigarettes are fucking lame as hell.

I know I sound like your mom but you kids need to stop fucking vaping

[stainedglass-lantern]

your writing style is unique. at least, the little i've seen of it! my compliment may be flattery in the way of excessive, but it's not insincere. i'd love to read a book of poems made by you. i could even make the physical book, bookbinding is a hobby of mine.

well, i'm talking to you like this because i'm still feeling you out. i want to gauge interest and take in information. once i feel more certain i'll message you directly. i think i'd be embarrassed if i've given myself away already. i'm trying to change some speaking habits y'know! altho i don't think i've been super careful i hope i haven't been super duper obvious either.

connected to above! i meant to check as soon as i started using my sign off but i forgot. i hadn't realized you already knew those other anon asks were me. i even changed capitalization! well, i was a bit lazy about the timing of when i'd send asks tho. i was trying to seem like multiple people were messaging you for reasons. if i'm that sloppy maybe you have already figured out who i am...

you like re-watching moomin valley, noted! i'll watch it. speaking of stories, i'd still like you to tell me a story that you think would help people to get to know you better. doesn't hafta be a book, just a story.

would you like to go hunting again? now that you're an adult you'd need a permit or something, wouldn't you? it'd be fun for you to teach me. i've shot a gun at empty cans before but i wasn't very interested at the time. also tried out archery, but the bow broke quickly. what was it like to kill the animals? i'm guessing that even though you were a kid you viewed it very practically.

careful with my words? what, have you figured out my location already? i'm definitely comfortable in this location in a certain sense. are you comfortable with your living arrangements?

yeah, a treadmill will never compare to actually being out there. it's good exercise tho! do you have any interesting experiences from hiking?

do you like graveyards? there's an ghost town i went to with an uncle and it had a nice graveyard. the town was beautiful too.

ehhhh i seriously didn't think you'd be sadistic and masochistic. i guess in the the grand scheme of things both is more common but i didn't think you would. do you have a preference? considering something related, when it comes to dominance and submission i don't have a dominant bone in my body. in that sense anyway. i'm used to acting it out though. and i do enjoy pushing buttons sometimes.

yes, nervous. luckily i enjoy the feeling in this context. i won't say which, but certain things you write make my insides twist.

oooh, alchemy! maybe you'd enjoy the youtube channel "esoterica", he's covered it a bit. it's good to be skeptical. regardless of truth value it's fun to learn about.

roman catholicism huh? i don't know much about it, i was raised... well sort of protestant i guess. i know mostly about norse and celtic (broad term i know) mythology. do you have an interesting fact about one of the religions you've studied? or maybe something that's stuck with you?

ahhh, i'm jealous. i'm learning a language right now but i'm nowhere near fluent. i almost ended up learning chinese as a child. i want to learn latin so i can research religious and spiritual stuff more effectively. are there things that are easier for you to communicate in latin and french than in english?

is what you quoted from something? i can't find anything on it...

i'll keep your color choices in mind.

and a selfish request: there's an ask game i would like you to reblog (holy themed yandere ask game by godsworst) so i can send you stuff... if you don't want to i've decided i'll just send you the sentences instead of the keywords.

what was your day like? or night? did you sleep well, kine?

-🌊

You hold me in too high a regard. I’m flattered, thanks to you. Relish in it, I don’t get that way often. But to make a book for whatever I write would be far surpassing my expectations for my writing. Thank you, however.

Bookbinding? :) A admirable hobby! I’ve always considered whittling or pen turning, myself, but never tried.

I recognize your efforts. I won’t let this chase fall out until you’ve seen of me what you desire to know. Take your time, and divulge in what you wish to grasp. It’s more fun that way.

Don’t worry, doll, I tend to turn a blind eye. I will say, there’s a tell when it’s your anon or not, but it’s not anything to worry for. Certain things just feel the same.

Hm. If any form of story is alright, try this. I find the story very, close to home. The songs are quite good, but the storytelling and lore in the documents is something that has sort of followed me in life since learning it all. I’m sure you can guess who I most associate with very easily.

Funnily, He was also a consideration for my accounts “theme” but I decided against it.

Archery is fun, a very lively sport. I would renew, however I’m currently in a place that there is not much use in hunting permits. I do go axe throwing from time to time. It’s just recreational, however.

I viewed it as necessary. You’d be right in that assumption. It never felt good, but at least it was made swift and effective. As long as you keep that, it’s not a grievance you’re left with.

Not pinned to a state or anything but I can consider a country from your wordage. That’s broad enough, in the big world. I’d say I’m fine with it, for now. I am fairly biased though.

A hiking story… Once I helped an exhausted first time hiker. He’d near passed out on the trail. We talked for a few hours and I lead him back down the trail. I haven’t seen him around much, but we do call every now and then.

I’ve got a very very close relationship with graveyards. Picking up more on me, hm? I’m glad you went. Statues in graveyards have been the most beautiful I’ve seen. I have a book of old epitaphs, if I may. Here’s one for you: “Alack and well-a-day, Potter, himself, is turned to clay” on the grave of Archbishop Potter. Hah.

I am more in the sense of a dominant, I would say. Being masochistic doesn’t always mean bowing before another. For example, forcing a terrified little thing to hurt or cut me, to dare to bear its teeth, and watch as I tear said tooth from its jaw for trying to aim in my direction.

Afraid I’ll capitalize on what you like to hear?

I’ll check them out. :)

Unfortunately, yes. As in, afternoon classes after school, mass every night, multiple hours of church services and then such. I could recite hymns in my sleep in my prime, but thankfully I am free to learn what I wish to. Norse/Celtic mythos is very interesting.

Researching the most in Yoruba at the moment, but I always find something in each lesson. I’ll try to think of something, eventually, that stands out. Apologies for the non answer.

Languages can be fun, yes. Latin is good for transcribing, but I would suppose I think in French and English. So maybe that, I would say. When I’m lost in thought or just need to say something, it starts French— in a way.

Apologies for my indirectness, it was an answer to the “what you would say to your younger self.” The French is a little thing me and my brother would say to one another, the bit about gardenias: I find them to be my favorite, but I hid something under our gardenias. I never got it back.

My morning, so far, has been kind enough to me. Got the things I needed finished. Fairly boring as of late. I’ll manage though.

[littlewalken]

nov 28

My blog, I'm right, and I should say it.

There are plenty of times where I'm sitting there with my steaming cup of Mind Your Fucking Business wondering where some people get off on some things.

Actually I'm shuffling along store aisles with my clear plastic bag on my rollator occasionally turning around and telling the store clerk following me that I'm not the shop lifter, I'm the video pirate. Altho it's more fun to tell them, if it's not a local store, I'm the secret shopper and they are so terrible at spotting shop lifters everyone's going back to training.

Too many of y'all were acting like the reason we can't have nice things and that's why stuff is going the way it's going.

I am so tired of dealing with my hair that I was going to get clippers and cut a lot of it off or get some sort of gamine cut but not full on bald or too butch, just a tired of having hair thing. Maybe in a few more years when 'making myself ugly' isn't a trend.

There have been times when I did dye it, went black once in college had to go short to get it literally cut out. Did a pastel pink once but all it did was lighten me up and add pink hi-lites, the darker wine color didn't stick and changed every time I washed it. Now I don't want to tempt my skin as I'm just now clearing up from a round of allergic to my own hormones.

Finished the hooded yarn shoulder warmer thing. It's a mix of Lion Mandala Banshee and Sandman. They go together well enough, the green in Sandman is nice. Didn't use all of the colors, a couple in Banshee had to come out of the middle of the piece. I would have added them at the end if I needed the extra length but didn't.

Going to try and watch Beetlejuice 2 for my next movie. Have to give the crochet muscles a break so I'll look over the notes for the Hollywood story, might be rewriting/expanding on those before getting in to a new draft. Also thinking about the Smallville cowboy story and Lois wanting him to put some yee in her haw.

[jaybug-jabbers]

There's a big reptile expo in a few weeks right in my town. I am excited to go and check out all the inverts there. I can get a few more Magic Potions to replace the ones that died, since 3-4 isopods might be difficult to establish a colony with. (Esp. since I don't know their sexes) I'm also preparing a few more bins in case my isopods breed and some need to be transferred over, or in case I buy one new species/color morph at the expo.

Just one, though. It's important to start small while I am still learning, after all. If I do it, it will probably be A. vulgare 'Punta Cana' or 'St Lucia' or maybe something like A. nasatum or A. maculatum (the Chocolate morph is so pretty). They're supposed to all be good beginner species with similar requirements.

Mostly I will just be looking around and learning about the hobby at the expo. It would be especially good to see how many people are into the hobby locally. I know a lot of people travel to expos but I hope to find local folks too. And, well, hopefully they're friendly and welcoming. Not gonna lie, I have a suspicion that most invert keepers are older men, and I'm a 30-something woman, so I dunno how it's gonna go, but we'll see!

The top bin in the picture is one I bought online to see if I would like it. I also bought a bin and modified it myself (the bottom one). The top bin certainly has very clean-looking vents which I really like (I believe the seller 3D prints the plastic portion of the vents). Altho the mesh is a bit large. I purchased a finer metal mesh to do myself. It's a little bit of a pain to work with I admit, because it dulled my scissors so fast, and then my scissors didn't cut very cleanly-- and the mesh itself can be quite sharp, of course. Tbh will need to buy a new pair of scissors if I want to make more. Still, I do like the mesh, it's very fine but still seems to allow airflow. This house has potted plants with some fungus gnats so I have concerns about keeping those buggers away.

Oh, the top bin also doesn't have a sturdy latching lid, so that's not quite as nice in that regard, either.

I'll see what I prefer. I also might try an acrylic tarantula enclosure like one of these. I really like being able to actually observe the isopods. (Although the acrylic ones all seem to just have a bunch of tiny airholes, none with mesh vents.) I know a lot of folks have got shelves full of bins and bins, and that works fine for them but I'm not looking to have a huge collection. Just a few species I like. I used to breed Zebra finches and I must say I think I would really enjoy breeding isopods too, but again, just as a small thing. Would occasionally sell to local petshops or keepers once I have a good colony going. That's about it. Anyway, as I was saying, I like being able to observe the little guys, and you can't really do that with shelves full of Sterilite bins.

Also took a photo of my springtails (before misting and adding more food). I found them at a Petsmart, shockingly, not something I would expect from there, but it was labelled Smug Bug! So I guess Smug Bug sells to Petsmart. The containers were pretty much bone-dry, so I told the people there they needed to keep the poor guys moist. (I wonder if they'll actually do it. ugh. Petsmart does not have a great track record with small animals.) They seem very happy with the nutritional yeast I give them. Waiting to breed them a bit before adding to my isopod enclosure.

Currently working on a new substrate mix with a potting soil base instead of a topsoil base, to put in the new bins. I will make sure everything is prepared before buying anything at the expo. I already have lots of dead leaves and some rotting wood. Ooh, still need to rinse and crush my collection of eggshells. I should do that tomorrow.

Been taking lots of notes on my isopod research. My google doc of notes is 30 pages long so far. :D