#alternatively me being a psychology nerd

[mx-aster]

Dmitri and BPD coding

Poster this somewhere else but

Judging Dmitri’s symptoms of unstable identity,intense moods,something with him having a intense wave of anger and calling him then not anymore towards Sergei and was like “my truest friend” and some other stuff. I’m gonna guess a cluster B disorder but his symptoms are kind similar to those of BPD symptoms) if not that then some type of traumatic disorder.

[fredwkong]

Alphaworld File 1: Oral History

The universe is multifarious, constantly diverging as new choices are made. Spinning away through time, these alternate realities become locked away from our own, so we can never know exactly what would have happened if a single choice was made differently.

Except, sometimes, two of those worlds, careening through the upper dimensions, happen to converge. As they slide past each other, they may line up just so, each leaving behind fragments as they continue their journey into their divergent futures. You’ve never heard of this, because the remnants, mostly data, are swiftly collected by various government agencies and collected into reports on the intercepted reality.

This report collects various scientific articles, personal journals, news reels, and even a documentary series from one such reality, codenamed Alphaworld. In this world, gay men have not only become the norm, but have seemingly replaced all other people. In this world, society is stratified into an apparently biological hierarchy of homosexual castes, based on men’s physical characteristics and psychologies. Upon finishing the following fragment from a peer-reviewed article that was a trace recovered from Alphaworld, please select the next fragment you would like to consume.

X

An Oral History of the Creation and Initial Spread of the Alpha Phenomenon, by Alpha Dr. Jose Martinez

Until recently, it was not known what sparked the spread of the Alpha Phenomenon which has wholly remade the world in recent years. This was until Alpha Joshua Dearfoot, who resides with his Betas in rural ex-Ontario, stated during a livestream on OnlyFans that he is the original Alpha.

Alpha Dearfoot does not interact with Betas from outside his harem unless they renounce their current Alpha. As this research team contains no unbonded Betas—Alpha Dr. Martinez says we can’t spend too much time with non-harem Betas—we investigated among those close to Alpha Dearfoot, conducting interviews and surveying in the local area to discover as much as we could.

Joshua, as he was known before the emergence of the Alpha Phenomenon, was a PhD candidate in nanotechnology, with a secondary focus in physiology. Photographs kept by his father (Beta to Alpha Sean Barehill) reveal that through his youth and young adulthood Joshua was physically unimpressive, with a physique not even reaching the base level expected of a Beta.

According to a classmate of Joshua’s from university (Beta to Alpha Liam Oliver), Joshua was studious but insecure: “I mean, I used to push him around all the time for being a fa— gay kid. Gay and a nerd? In the Old World, that was, like, the worst thing.” When asked about whether he has properly apologised, the Beta said, in a rapturous voice, “Oh, yeah, Alpha Dearfoot was my first. He disciplined me so well I could barely walk, I came like four times. Then he told me to come join Alpha Liam’s harem. I mean, he wasn’t Alpha Liam then, I was one of the first guys to go full Beta on campus.”

It appears that Alpha Dearfoot had a difficult youth, growing up unable to meet certain Old World expectations of manhood. The masculine stereotypes of Native Americans also seem to have weighed on him, as he was entirely unable to meet them. As his father told us, “Joshua was a sweet kid, but he got bullied for being too short and scrawny, not matching the image of an “Indian” in all these bigoted kids’ heads. He was obsessed with growing bigger, which is why he went into physio.” Remember, in some communities it is normal for a Beta father to continue to refer to his Alpha son by his first name.

According to Sigma Harrison White, a former lab partner of Dearfoot’s who fucked us on his lawn in exchange for this interview, Joshua was obsessed with creating some way to become more manly. “He spent some really long evenings in the lab,” said Harrison while one of us squealed in the grass beneath him. “One morning he came out with this manic grin on his face, said that he’d finally done it, and ran off. Two weeks later, he came back a full Alpha.” At this point, Harrison’s pace slowed down as he became contemplative. “It was only after he started hooking up with all the queer guys on campus that we started becoming Alphas and Sigmas and stuff, too.”

Did Alpha Dearfoot intend for the Alpha Phenomenon to be infectious? A Beta from his harem claims not. “He got home from school one morning all excited about some project he’d finished,” the Beta told us—it seems that he and Alpha Dearfoot were childhood friends. “The next day, he seemed a little different, a little more muscular, more assertive. He seemed really satisfied for about a week, then he got scared. He just kept getting bigger. The day he got taller than me and nearly broke a bar at the gym doing deadlifts, I started feeling the Beta change.

“I went to him and started telling him about my muscle gains and all the weird thoughts and sensations I was experiencing, and he got really scared,” the Beta continued, his eyes distant. “I started to comfort him, and that was when we felt the bond form. It felt so right for him to be my first, to finger me open and fill me with his still-growing dick.”

While we pressed for more details about what may have been the first Alpha/Beta bond in history, the Beta refused to disclose more information, claiming that it was private to him and his Alpha. For the reader’s imagination, see Figure A to find a picture of Alpha Dearfoot from his Instagram profile.

Alpha Dearfoot appears to have intended to create a nanomachine-based masculinity booster, and the transmissibility of the Alpha Phenomenon, as well as the behavioural and sexual changes it induces, were unintended side effects, perhaps introduced in the particles’ replication process. The effects of the Alpha Phenomenon on aging and physical fitness may also be unexpected consequences of Alpha Dearfoot's programming efforts.

According to Alpha Young Baek Hyeon, who lives in the former New York area with a mixed harem, he and Alpha Dearfoot attempted to “date,” an outmoded practice common in the Old World, during the early weeks of the Alpha Phenomenon’s spread. “Alpha DeWayne and I work well together,” Alpha Young told us by video call, “but we’re both pretty chill even since we changed. Alpha Dearfoot and I couldn’t even stand to be in the same room once I had transformed. He’s one of the most territorial Alphas I’ve ever met, he can barely stand to have another Alpha within a mile of him.” As Alpha Young spoke, we watched a well-trained Beta enter the room with a plate of apple slices and present them to his Alpha.

“He was really torn up about it, too. Even though we couldn’t stop yelling at each other in person or over the phone, he left me a ton of really sweet voice messages about how much he’d liked me before we became Alphas.” Alpha Young took a bite of apple and ruffled his Beta’s hair, causing all of us to shudder with phantom pleasure at the affection. With a contemplative expression, Alpha Young said, “No, I don’t think he meant for any of this to happen.”

While this study has yielded plenty of useful biographical information about the man apparently responsible for the Alpha Phenomenon that changed the world, we appear no closer to understanding the precise mechanism of that change. With better access to the programming of the nanomachines, perhaps it would be possible to reduce the natural aggressiveness of the Alphas, allowing Alphas like Dearfoot to return to their studies or jobs if they so wish. In the following section, we will propose potential opportunities for further research in the effort to isolate the Alpha Phenomenon.

Or vote on Strawpoll here: https://strawpoll.com/wby5A0vw8yA

This series is my way of celebrating reaching 2000 followers! I hope you enjoy this glimpse into Alphaworld and vote on what file you would like to see next. There is no strict update schedule, so you good boys better be on the lookout for a new chapter you can vote on ;)

[hijinxinprogress]

Young justice and the titans not getting along makes no sense to me. You’re telling me the titans did dumb shit and hated being micromanaged by the league but then a couple years later they’re doing the same thing?? that’s so dumb?? the titans are like “god you remember what we were doing when we were their age?? Were we that small?? Fuck, do you know what we’re supposed to do besides feed small people?? This would be so much easier if any of us went to therapy”

The titans help yj get away with shit all the time

“Young Justice just blew up one of Luthor’s vacation homes, did you know about this?? Where are they!?” “Who’s young justice? It’s not my fault…I plead the fifth…?”

Kori has claimed Kon and now has beef with Luthor and Clark

Besides Wally, Bart is closest with Kori and they trade stories about their homes bc it’s nice to talk to someone who’s gets it

Greta and Garth are like sitting at the bottom of a pool and gossiping about their teams

YJ and the titans have city wide manhunt games once a month and the jl hates it bc they wake up to their children trending bc they’re jumping off buildings or breaking into civilians’ houses to get away from each other

They race spaceships if they’re not on planet

Greta and Garth are the worst gossips so they just tell each other absurd things about their teammates completely aware that everyone will know within the next 4 hours

Everyone else makes jokes about how Kons what would happen if Kori and Nightwing had a son (he has anger issues, curly hair, he’s alternative, isn’t white, & he’s the mom friend)

Roy and Cissie only compete amongst themselves bc everyone was so sick of them winning that they started cheating or in Kori’s case incinerating the targets

One time he was talking to Kori about mental health stuff and she’s comforting him and mentions that “yeah you get that from nightwing” and nightwing cuts in “Kori, you do that too?? Don’t lie to him”

Whenever Kon loses his temper he’s not afraid of people thinking less of him for it bc it always sparks up the never ending debate about whether Nightwing or Starfire are responsible for Kons temper

“NO FUCK THIS, FUCK YOU, AND FUCK HIM, YOU FUCKING-” “he gets that from you” “he’s floating rn wdym” “yeah his fucking eyes are glowing that’s definitely Kori’s temper” “look at him doesn’t his face remind you of when kori was pissed after I broke my collarbone?” “no listen dick has that same crease between his eyebrows when he’s mad”

“I’m your leader, assholes” “rn all you are is the leading cause of that baby’s short temper”

Kori helped Kon with controlling his powers bc Clark wasn’t gonna do it

Wally and Bart get along!! From the beginning 

Besides Nightwing Tim is closest with Vic not even bc they’re fucking nerds but bc they’re both so unbelievably petty

Anita and Rachel should not be left alone together bc they’re always doing nonsense with magic

They mentioned air boarding so Tim and Vic are trying to find the schematics for a hoverboard…💀 Anita and Rachel figured out how to make people feel like they’re suffocating without killing them or doing permanent damage (all the scarring is psychological)

Cissie and Donna get along really well and Cassie pretends they’re jealous

Also, Cassie gets along really well with Roy and Cissie will loudly complain about her older brother hating her

the jl is so tired bc they thought the titans would be helping them with yj and they were wrong

[yansimstorythatiwillnotworkon]

Emile Cappella

Name: Emile Cappella

Gender: Male

Class: 2-1

Club: None

Persona: Sleuth

Reputation:

Overall: +30

Liked: +30

Respected: +20

Fear: +10

Crush: Colleen Smith

Strength: Incapable

Likes: Money, Gossip, Reading, The Supernatural, Psychology

Dislikes: Justice, Video Games, Anime, Family, Memes

__

I think Emile might just be one of my more normal characters. While writing about him, I figured out that I wanted to keep him as a light-hearted, well-meaning character.

The only problem that occurs is his incurable nosy-ness. Originally, he was based on two generally light-hearted and well-liked characters from two different fandoms, and Emile was meant to make up the worst of both of those characters by being more secretive and sneaky. As of now, he's just nosy and a nerd.

But, similar to other well-meaning characters (like Fureddo, Kuroko, most of the Martial arts club), his willingness to help tied with his inability to mind his business might lead to an untimely end. Not that I have one planned out at the moment, but I'm glad I can put him in a certain "category". That will definitely help me proceed with the story.

__

The text above reads:

1. Emile doesn't talk about this often, but he depends quite a lot on his peers for entertainment. This us why he likes gossip and myths so much- so he can decide whether or not it's true by gathering evidence. Alternatively speaking, he hopes to turn his life into constant twists and turns of mystery for the sake of making his life less boring.

2. He likes meeting and chatting with his friends' parents as a way to get closer to them.

3. Popularly, he's known for being a goody nerd- making jokes that reference academic studies and such. Due to this, he's THE most popular student tutor available.

4. Thanks to people coming to Emile for studies. He often hears bits and pieces of drama and his classmates' lives. Unfortunately, he's 100% one to like gossip and ends up blabbing about private knowledge that he's able to confirm as true.

Colleen Smith: Emile, despite it being common knowledge that he has a crush on Colleen, has managed to be perceived as suspicious by her due to his very frequent attempts to get closer to her. He knows very well that she's regularly very suspicious of things she's not used to, so he hopes that by interacting with her often, she'll become more used to him.

Chojo Tekina: Chojo is considered a very good friend by Emile, as Emile likes hearing him blab about the supernatural. It's an interest they both have in common, and their dynamic consists of Chojo finding myths and Emile investigating to see if they're true or not. Together. The two are something like kids detectives, despite socially being known as Pilar opposites.

Kaga Kusha: Kaga and Emile don't know each other well because Kaga (thankfully) Likes to keep his peers a very far distance from his personal life. Still, Emile likes to run info-gathering errands for Kaga from time to time simply because it helps him learn things- which is Emile's favorite hobby. Sometimes Kaga let's some information about himself slip during random ramblings, which Emile likes to keep in mind.

[anfeycare]

hello! welcome to my blog!

i'm Anfey Care, a queer non-binary artist and writer! i go by gender neutral words only (as for pronouns: "they/them" — "ê/elu/-e" in portuguese)

i enjoy art and science. i'm a fan of lots of things, specially Undertale, Dead Plate, Married in Red, Cold Front, The Picture of Dorian Gray, Omori, and Adventure Time! i'm brazilian, too. you're welcome to follow me if you enjoy:

art, pixel art, animation;

books, comics, mangas;

cuteness, horror, comedy;

games, music;

indie, alternative things;

queer, LGBT+, gay stuff;

shows, cartoons, animes;

thought-provoking stuff;

nerdy things in general!

i'm fairly silly, quite gay, and very nerd!

nice to meet ya!

( ^ ꒳ ^ ) [cute face smiling*]

(*i can use text in brackets like this to describe text emojis for screen readers; similarly, i can use text in brackets preceded by a slash as tone indicators, such as: [/silly] )

💙 PLEASE, READ MY MOST IMPORTANT RAMBLINGS BEFORE INTERACTING!

🐾 ooo, look! you found a boop post! 🐾

💙 you can support my art on patreon and ko-fi!

🖤 i don't believe in concepts like "ugly" and "dumb"

💙 i offer ✨ custom art ✨

🖤 i find generative A.I.s and N.F.T.s useless

💙 my art tag here is "#anfey care"!

🖤 i don't allow reposts, just reblogs of my posts

💙 main social medias and links: ✨ here ✨

💙✨ about me: ✨

besides being a silly gay queer nerd artist and writer, i'm atypical, a furry, a fan-enby of a bunch of characters, an adult and a game dev. i'm an introverted, shy, and asocial person. somewhat antisocial too; sometimes i can be completely silent and spend weeks alone when too overwhelmed from socialization. (i'm INFP and pisces, but i don't take these seriously, although i can relate at times)

i'm completely atheist. i don't mind religion, even if i might take it as stories and thoughts, but i just don't mind as long as it isn't fanatic christian stuff — i was raised around these people and it got me very tired of those things.

i graduated on a game development technical course i took along with high school (public education, got in through an entrance exam, got in first place on the classification list), and i'm often studying things on my own, like languages. i draw, design, paint, conceptualize, illustrate, make pixel art, research, edit, write, and can animate and code too — sometimes i also try music, acting, photography, and cosplay. i'm still working on being an indie game dev; for now, i'm mainly an artist and writer

as for how i identify as LGBT+, i'm queer as in all pan aspec atractions-wise. gender-wise, i identify as pangender, which in my case includes agender; i'm transneutral and non-binary (and — it's obvious but just to mention — gender non-conforming). i usually put it all in short by just saying i'm a queer enby, or a pan aspec enby, but i don't shy away from just saying i'm gay (as in i'm definitely not straight)

as an enby, i'm also dionysian (more often known as diamoric), and any kind of relationship with me would be called this — 'cause they'd have an enby (me) in them. you could call me almost anything from the LGBTQ+ definitions and that'd still be almost fitting, but if you were to call me something accurately fitting, that's queer, pan aspec, diamoric/dionysian and enby, heheh

i could be considered legally blind, as i can't see anything a few inches away from my face without glasses (8 degrees in each lens, but i've been needing a new prescription for some years... couldn't afford it yet). i suspect i might be neurodivergent (ADHD, ASPD and autistic, mainly), and i have lots of symptoms of depression, anxiety and C-PTSD, but also can't afford to look into those. (funny fact: i managed to get in a psychology college earlier in 2024, and for a good while was studying psychology there before even being able to go see a psychologist-) (i still do deep researches about those topics of mental health)

from the way i understand relationships and concepts related to it and to living in society — understandings that have some connections to my pan aspec (includes asocial) pangender agender way of being —, i'm also non-monogamous in attractions and beliefs. i could be either in a monogamous or non-monogamous relationships romantically, though. i'd do fine in any, i can adapt quite well to who i love and/or like and care about! it could even be an undefined relationship — it all would be up to who i'd be with. (i'd develop an attachment, and even a hyperfixation on them, too, which would make it even easier for me to adapt,,, anyways-)

i know spanish and french, besides portuguese and english. i don't have a lot of practice with those other two languages, but i can understand them well (speaking portuguese helps, heh). i still want to learn more languages — for now, i'm also studying japanese, LIBRAS and ASL from time to time

i aim for diversity, inclusion and equity, specially for my games. that's a reason why i study a lot, and that's also why i want to make most of my creations available for free. and that's why i encourage you to give me support if you want, as it helps it all to be free of charge, and can give you a custom art or some cool extra things for a low tip!

i'm a fan of:

Undertale;

Rot in Paradise;

Dead Plate;

Married in Red;

Bittersweet Sentence;

Elevator Hitch;

Cold Front;

Eloquent Countenance;

The Picture of Dorian Gray;

Good Omens;

The Owl House;

Omori;

Revolutionary Girl Utena;

Deltarune;

Dracula;

Adventure Time;

She-ra and the Princesses of Power;

KinitoPET;

My Little Pony;

Sonic;

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared;

Welcome Home;

Puella Magi Madoka Magica;

Studio Investigrave in general;

and the Daycare attendant from FNAF

i also like to roleplay/perform as characters at times, and used to play D&D, besides liking the RPG genre in videogames itself

as you see, i'm all over the place — i'm not completely organized, and i allow myself to let some things be messy (like tags); it's what works best for me, as far as i noticed

i like lots of things! and, though i enjoy horror, i don't make much art of this kind. plus, i create original stories, art, and characters of my own, like Safey — they're my mascot persona, and they're the fox creature on the pixel art by the start of this blog post. i have a bunch of projects i develop on my own, including ideas of comics and games! and sometimes i write poems, generally in portuguese, but i mix languages and write in english at times

i usually make cute things! whenever i happen to make something scary or with sensitive topics, i let it with the warnings i think it needs. personally, i'm positive about NSFW topics, specially sexual-related ones, in regular conditions. however, i very rarely allude to NSFW — if anything, it can be there as subtext, if i ever even include anything like that at all. to my mind, these are not NSFW, but either way: i do enjoy artistic nude art, i do like philosophically/sociologically/literarily analytical thoughts and texts that could be about/related to sexual topics, and i also do like (well, you know) horror. i take a different approach on my own art that's around these, but you can avoid it if i ever make it due to the warnings, and i hope you will use the warnings' opportunity to avoid it if you're sensitive or don't want to see it.

overall, specially for other people like me, i want my space to be a safe space

Undertale, Dead Plate, and Married in Red are my most favorite pieces of media, so i'm drawn towards them most of the time. for the characters in those respectively, Flowey and Sans, Vincent, and Bok-su are my favorites (i know, they're the popular ones... sorry, heh, i genuinely love them)

nice to meet you, and i hope you will like what i create!

thanks for reading!

see ya! ( ^ ꒳ ^ ) [cute face smiling]

[penelopegarciaismygf]

Welcome to Reid's Fall Reading list!🍂

This is coming from a massive psychology nerd and I 100% recommend all the books included. Do I think spencer would read all of these? Probaly not but it's fun to imagine.

I also had so much fun with this and I'm considering making this a series with all the characters + ive got a couple other ideas on my mind too (character playlists, mood boards, house designs ect..) so let me know if there's interest in that.

Enjoy!

Book Title: The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

Why he'd read it: Alternate realities, choices, regrets. It's all about what could have been.

How I think he'd feel about it: I think he'd love the concept and definitely get super philosophical about it- I'd love to debate with him about this book. He'd also probably apply it to his own experiences and think about what could have been *cough* *cough* elle greenaway

---

Book Title: The Secret History by Donna Tartt

Why he'd read it: Murder, religious frenzy, messed-up rich smart kids, psychological warfare. What more could you want?

How I think he'd feel about it: On some level, he might relate to Henry, but I know he'd hate that. He’d find the religious aspects intriguing and probably nerd out translating the Greek bits, but he'd be unimpressed by the murder. (Id say more but I'm avoiding spoilers!)

---

Book Title: If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio

Why he'd read it: Shakespeare, drama, and a murder mystery among a group of pretentious drama students.

How I think he'd feel about it: Reid would be all in for the Shakespeare references and the exploration of art and identity. He’d find the dynamics between characters fascinating but might roll his eyes at the melodrama.

---

Book Title: The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

Why he'd read it: A magical and mysterious tale with rich world-building.

How I think he'd feel about it: I can imagine spencer being a huge nerd for fantasy like lord of the rings and this without be right up his alley. I can picture him studying the maps and he might wish he could be part of that world.

[antisociallilbrat]

I wanna give Ben some love, so here are some hcs about his individual relationships with each Loser

-Ben loves being an architect and very much sees it as an art, but he also still loves poetry and no one is more encouraging of his poetry hobby than Bill is. Even though Bill's not much of a poet, he does his best to give honest and meaningful responses.

-Bev is absolutely Ben's music/concert buddy. I'm gonna project onto Ben a bit here and say that he probably feels like he'd be judged very harshly by his friends for his music taste, when in reality they'd just give him a friendly ribbing. I think that Bev has helped him get past that and enjoy things fully

-I think it's a crime that the first movie gave Ben the historian role, however I'm gonna work with that and say that Ben and Mike love going to museums together. Ben has to travel a lot for work and he most often brings Mike so they can check off the major museums of the world during their travels

-I think Eddie helps Ben manage his body image issues. Ben has a lot of insecurities and has previously gone about things in ways that aren't physically or psychologically the most healthy. Eddie knows a lot about health and so he helps Ben achieve his goals in a way that's healthy and encourages him to go to therapy so that he can learn to create goals are actually achievable.

-Richie has made it his job to get Ben to have some fun every once in a while. Ben is very nervous about going out, but once he's actually out doing whatever Richie has planned or even things he didn't plan with the group, he's always grateful for the new memories. He's got a scrapbook of pictures he takes of the losers while they're out together

-Stan is the most level-headed of the losers and so in turn he is the one Ben goes to for advice nine times out of ten. Stan generally has his shit together once he's an adult and he can usually see things clearly. He helped Ben and Bev get together and he helped Ben realize he's bi and likes Bill as well (Denscom jumpscare).

Rose have I mentioned I love your brain worms?

-Ben and Bill have evenings in the library where Ben reads his poetry and Bill reads his works and oml this is so sweet it's going to give me a cavity

-Bev and Ben as concert buddies will in fact be living in my head rent free now, thank you for this. Ben teaches Bev all the songs and they wear matching t-shirts <3

-AAAA Ben and Mike are the history nerds you're correct. I love the idea of them going to museums and infodumping to each other about certain subjects

-Eddie would be the one to be completely supportive of Ben and his struggles with his weight <3 he would teach Ben healthy alternatives but he would always let Ben know that they love just the way is also

-Richie is the perfect loser to get Ben out his shell. He pushes Ben in fun and knows how to turn a stressful situation into a laugh, trashstack is so underated

-YES I feel like Ben was intimated by Stan a little first but once he learns Stan is actually very kind and levelheaded, he has no issues going to Stan about his issues

[old-lorarri]

— lost cause ... ( send me a description of yourself + a fandom and gender preference, and ill ship you with a character. )

hi!! congrats on 4k, i love your account!

— lost cause ... ( send me a description of yourself + a fandom and gender preference, and ill ship you with a character. )

hi!! congrats on 4k, i love your account!

can i request the lost cause for formula 1 (gender preference: male)

im a 5’1 portuguese girl with big brown eyes and brown hair. im studying psychology in uni rn and i really want to pursue neuroscience/neuropsychology.

personality wise, im a bit of an ambivert. my friends also say im very sarcastic, witty and bit stubborn, but very romantic and a loyal person. my love language is definitely physical touch, like i just absolutely love casual intimacy.

one of my main hobbies is reading and i absolutely love classic literature. im also a very big film enthusiast, mainly about cinema from the 70s-90s. i adore music also. i play the piano and i love many types of music, but my favorite has to be rock - mainly classic rock and alternative rock. my favorite artists are the beatles, arctic monkeys, the smiths, radiohead, lana del rey, the strokes.

im a huge f1 nerd. one of those that know all the stats, winners and world champions, y’know? im also a bit of a geography nerd.

thank you!!

CHARLES LECLERC

love your sarcasm and wit

loves hugging and kissing you all the time

can't keep his hands off you

reads to you all the time

and reads book you recommend

watches films with you

you play piano duets together

goes to concerts with you

you and seb def get along with being f1 nerds

[chronicallyonlinecath]

Wednesday 28th June 2023 - love is a risk, but what's the alternative? /lyr It's been a good few days, and now I am basically being held at gunpoint by Matty and Harley to write this. I'm currently sat in the local abbey, blasting Lyn Lapid in my ears (again) Harry is sat behind me scrolling through football instagram on his phone and Reagan is sat three seats to the left of me stressing because the guy they like has left them on delivered (again) and listening to the school's wind quintet rehearse. My final school summer concert is tonight and though I'm nervous as hell, I'm also somewhat sad and melancholy about it. I'm in wayy too much shit for my little pea brain to handle, and I'm gonna be overwhelmed as hell with emotions too. But the music grind never stops. Not long after I posted the blog on Saturday, Mattson messaged me about Janek's answer, and on Sunday I got a message from Janek. His answer? A no, quite clearly. To be fair, I already gathered it was a no - that's what no answers to questions about romance usually mean. But I suppose I was still a little hurt by it, just a little. Reagan just smacked me on the head with her tenor horn. My forehead aches now. But she and Harry are off to play in the brass dectet alongside Harvey. I'm not the only one to have been rejected recently either - although I wouldn't say this next example is exactly a rejection. Alison spoke to Harvey about her feelings for him. Was this a mistake on her part? Definitely not. Harvey is an absolute idiot with feelings and romance and knowing where his feelings for people lie. I talk from experience of talking to him late in the evening about the girls he likes and he practically falls apart trying to figure it out. I can't blame him, but it's frustrating and hurts people's feelings. Such as Alison's. But to be honest, I don't think she's that bothered anymore - she seems to have a lot more hellish stuff on her mind. And to be honest, so do I. The flute choir have just started playing ABBA - my life is complete. The amount of music shit I have on over the next few days is insane - that and college taster days. Yesterday was the more modern one of the two, and the one I'm least likely to go to. I got the bus with Peter and Reagan though, and it was kinda chill through the whole day. I nerded out completely in Psychology though - we were doing phobias and phobias are something I obsessed over in the lockdown period, so I already knew tons about it and scared the teacher a bit I think. But it's okay, I want to be a psychologist when I'm older, stuff like phobias fascinate the hell out of me. Anyway, I apologise for the lack of posts, and I'm scheduling this post after just watching the senior boys choir perform one of the best renditions of "My Shadow and Me" possible. If the performance is recorded I might post the link (except that'll be leaking my school so I probably won't) ~CM

[strangebruisesinc]

I am a 5'6" biological female, I use she/her/they pronouns(god that sounds cringey), have medium length dark brown hair, and turquoise/greenish eyes(i don't really know what color they are), and I wear black glasses with clear rims. I have what most would describe as the 'pear' body shape with larger hips and B cup breasts. I tend to wear baggy, comfort-first sort of clothes with the occasional dress and one piece.

My zodiac signs(If you care) are Virgo(sun), Libra(moon), and Virgo(ascendant). I also have the INTP personality type.

Facts about me:

I have been told than I have a high maturity level for someone my age(but I laugh at dumb jokes so idk if I believe them)

I enjoy cracking jokes about anyone and anything, NO ONE IS SHIELDED FROM MY COMEDIC WRATH

I am kind, polite, relaxed, have a dark sense of humor and generally low self-esteem

I try to be open-minded, and am always looking to improve my talents and relationships with those I care about

Critical and suspicious of literally EVERYTHING (especially myself)

I can be insensitive, petty, and sometimes even knowingly dismissive of my faults, and try to blame others instead

I lie a lot more than I'd like to admit, but try to make up for it and improve

I come from an primarily Christian family, my favorite season is winter, and I would like to create other forms of art other than writing at some point

I used to have what could be considered a phobia of insects/bugs, but it has become a lot mild over the years

I mostly enjoy physical affection more so than verbal, but if worded in certain ways that can touch my heart, I will prefer the latter, and you will have acquired a loyal ally (I respect the power of words, I am a writer after all)

I am what is described as a HSP (hyper sensitive person, look it up if you're curious)

I have a condition called Exotropia (aka drifting eye) in my left eye that has been corrected through 3 surgeries (but I still have to wear glasses in order to maintain it).

A firm believer that nothing is truly impossible, and that people hate most in others what they hate in themselves

Confused by everything 24/7… EVERYTHING

Likely on the autism spectrum

Likes: Being helpful, alternative, rock, and techno music, order and peacefulness, making people laugh, Sci-Fi media, writing/creating, tarot cards, D&D, anything to do with the diversity of personalities, psychology⁰

Dislikes: Being a burden, country music, drama and chaos, low effort creative endeavors, hypocrites(ironically), closed minded people, bad grammar, things not going my way, extremely religious people, weird internet trends and phrases (ex: pogchamp, dummy thicc, boomer, etc.), most of tumblr, Twitter

And that should be most of the important stuff (just so I don't get carried away)! I am very interested to see who you match me with!

Thanks so much! That's a lot of useful information! Now with that being said:

I match you with:

Sollux Captor!

Now hear me out

I feel like you two both compliment and contrast well

I definitely hc him as the type of person that a lot of people misread because of his initial aloofness

Also Short King™

I also hc that he doesn't verbalize as much as others because of his speech impediment, so I think your lean towards physical affection would initially pull him in

Also? HUGE grade A nerd. Would indulge in literally anything you would like and would have in common

I feel like he's definitely been a Dungeon Master a couple times and would want to set up a D&D match with you

I think Sol struggles with sarcasm and getting people to take him seriously so it would be refreshing to have someone there for him that could just listen yk.

1000000% offers to clean your glasses for you

Dark humor? That's what he got his master's in, babe.

Bro can and will sit and joke back and forth for hours.

Sollux is definitely on the internet most of his life, so I feel like anything you'd be confused about he would have at least 5 different answers for it, bros a walking encyclopedia.

Bonus: your song!

I imagine he'd listen to stuff like Midwestern emo rock, so have Peach by The Front Bottoms!

I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for the ask!

[mx-aster]

Me spending months analyzing Sergei & Dmitri to find out their mental illnesses meanwhile it’s like with Quentin it’s like “he’s autistic coded as fuck cause of a long paragraph why”

[drawlfoy]

4/1

alternate title: the 4 times i wanted to break up with draco malfoy. and the one time i did

masterlist request guidelines

pairing: draco x reader

request: yes...almost a year late tho this has literally been sitting in my drafts since june

summary: draco malfoy is your boyfriend, but he has a funny way of showing it. the end is very “good for her” vibes. 

WARNINGS: themes of gaslighting, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, implied sexual content, explicit language. my loves, this is my take on draco as a little bitch of a controlling and toxic bf. so plz keep this in mind whilst reading

a/n: so i’ve sat on this request for a hot min. idk why i stopped writing it but i’m pretty sure i stopped bc i was like damn i did not need to go this hard on a request and put my whole drawlfussy into making draco a horrible human being fjkd;salf. this is the most negative portrayal of him on my blog. i am legally obligated to tell u that if any of this draco’s behaviors or sayings remind you of your partner i implore you to leave him/her. not to wax philosophical or anything but my last relationship was not super great and i left without getting to say anything that i rlly wanted to say to them. the ending is a bit cathartic for me as it’s everything that i wish i had a chance to do :) i hope u enjoy. 

wc: 5.6k

tags: @writeandtranslate @sycathorn-slush @gruffle1 @missmultifandommess @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naiomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast @alwaysbeanunknownfan @nearly-memories @litty-dumb @callieclearwater @malfoy-wife15 @charlenasaxen @belladaises @fiantomartell @yiamalfoy @crystalox @dracoismybabey @dreamcxtcherr @decaffeinated-turtle @marrymetheonott @felicityofbakerstreet @daedreamss @sycathorn-slush @writeandtranslate @erisdogwood @loveissupernatural @sycathorn-slush @big-galaxy-chaos

music recs: 

burning pile - mother mother

no children - the mountain goats

i want you - mitski

jobless monday - mitski

drunk walk home - mitski

She couldn’t believe that she used to like how it felt.

Her relationship with Draco started like a fairytale, like the beginning of a great romantic story that would make even the most seasoned rom-com writer swoon. Soulmates weren’t real, not to her knowledge, but somehow he was perfect for her. There were too many things that added up--like how they had the same lucky numbers, the same type of wand, the same way that they used their quill as bookmarks when one wasn’t available, the way he always managed to finish her sentences and guess what she was thinking…

They had been perfect together. At least, perfect enough during the first 3 months that she only took the mentions of Astoria with a grain of salt. It didn’t hurt that he sweetened every comparison.

“Wow,” he’d say as he looked down at the gift she brought him from Hogsmeade one weekend when he wasn’t feeling well, “No one has ever made me feel this way before. I mean, Astoria would just leave me alone when I was sick. She never got me anything. Thank you. For making me feel...special, I guess.”

He’d always press the pad of his thumb into her dimple and let her try on his rings that were far too big for him, bringing up how Astoria would always insist on him shrinking them to fit her. It always gave Y/N a little bit of an uneasy feel, but if Draco said that they were over, they were over. 

“Love, you have nothing to worry about,” he told her one day after she expressed her nervousness to him. “I told you. We’re completely over. Plus, she’s gone completely mad. Keeps sending me owls telling me how she can’t imagine herself with anyone else. It’s pathetic, really. You, on the other hand...well, I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”

She glowed up at him at the sound of this, filing away the note about Astoria owling him and instead basking in the joy of his praise. Y/N had never been with someone who saw her in such an amazing light. Draco Malfoy, the cold, sometimes cruel, aristocratic Slytherin somehow looked at her and decided that she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. And there was nothing that could feel as good as that.

It couldn’t get any better. So, naturally, it got worse.

I.

Y/N understood that Draco and Astoria had to spend at least some time together--they were both on the Slytherin Quidditch team and their families were very close--but it seemed to be getting excessive. 

“Listen, Y/N,” he said to her after she voiced her concerns once again. “There’s nothing going on between me and Astoria. You know that I can’t cut her off. She’s basically part of my family at this point.”

“I just don’t understand why you had to be alone in your room to study,” said Y/N, fighting back her tears as she sat cross-legged on Draco’s bed. “I don’t understand. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Her roommates were being loud and the common room was freezing,” he said as he searched for a sweatshirt in his drawer. “I know she’s worried about the Transfiguration exam. My family would disown me if they knew I didn’t offer my help and she failed.”

Y/N swallowed, allowing the silence to engulf them for a few seconds. 

“Draco?”

“What’s up?” He didn’t even bother to look in her direction.

“What did you tell Astoria when she sent you those owls after we started dating?” 

Draco ceased all movement for a second before resuming his search. “Er. I told her that if she didn’t respect our relationship we couldn’t be friends.”

“And did she? Respect our relationship?” 

He stood up suddenly, the drawer slamming shut. “Obviously. We’re friends now, right? What’s your point?”

“Nothing,” said Y/N. Why was he being so defensive all of a sudden? “I just realized we never talked about that is all. I never told you how much it hurt when she sent me that owl after you first asked me out calling me a rebound fuck or whatever. I wanted to clear things up.”

“Oh,” he responded. “Sorry. Glad I could clarify things for you.”

“Thanks.”

He leaned over to desk to grab his shower caddy full of his shampoo and various other toiletries before pausing. “But you know what? I get why you might be concerned about Astoria, or whatever, but do you have any idea how much it hurts for you to imply that I’m a shitty enough person to cheat on you? Especially when you’re still talking to Potter?”

“Whoa,” said Y/N. “What? He told me that he got into his dream medical program. That was it. That was all it was. We’ve hardly spoken since you asked me--”

“And what does ‘hardly spoken’ mean?” he spat, glaring at her from the desk. 

“As in we’ve had a few conversations,” said Y/N, staring down at her hands as her nails dug into her palms. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. They were nothing. He just said hi to me in the library once.”

“Good to see you so invested still in his career opportunities,” Draco drawled. 

“That’s not--”

“And now you’re going to deny it?” He scoffed. “Wow.”

She bit her lip as tears started coming to the surface. The guilt she felt for not telling Draco about the encounter in the library was quickly covering up any worry she had about Astoria. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I made a mistake, but I broke up with him a year ago.”

“I would be more inclined to take your apology seriously if you weren’t constantly trying to justify yourself,” he said. His composure was clearly regained. 

“I’m just trying to explain. I’m sorry. I understand where you’re coming from and I shouldn’t have done that.”

He sighed, keeping his eyes locked on her for a few seconds. “Okay. I think I need a little time by myself. Do you mind?” He sidestepped away from the door, tilting his head towards it.

“Oh.” Y/N wasn’t sure what she was expecting--maybe a hug from him, maybe make-up sex--but whatever it was, it wasn’t this. “For what it’s worth, I really don’t think you’re a shitty person. Or that you’re cheating on me. I just get nervous sometimes. And insecure. I’m sorry. I love you more than anything.”

He let out another deep exhale. “Thanks for listening. I’ll let you know when I feel comfortable talking again.”

“Wait. Are we breaking up?” Y/N asked, her voice becoming shrill at the end. 

He shrugged. “I’m not sure yet. I need to think.”

About what Y/N had to keep herself from saying to him. 

And thus concluded their first real fight. Y/N went and cried herself to sleep in her room, mostly out of confusion, while, from what she heard after the end, Draco and Astoria were seen chatting away the night in the common room.

II.

The second time was much more blood-boiling. Looking back on it, Y/N wished that she could throttle him then and there. But only hindsight is 20/20.

After making up, Y/N brought Draco a bouquet of flowers that she knew were his favorite after the Quidditch Match. He’d grinned down at her, sweeping her off her feet and peppering kisses around her cheeks. 

“Just who I wanted to see,” he crooned, setting her onto his bed and running his fingers through her hair. 

“Can we nap?” she asked, leaning into his touch. He beamed down at her, pulling her into a hug once again. THIS was the Draco she knew--not the one that exploded at her in his room the week before. He’d just had a bad week. 

“Of course.” He turned around to go fishing through his dresser again. She tried not to flinch at the memory of what conversation had ensued the last time she watched the scene before her. “Want a shirt?”

“Yeah.” She failed at holding back a giant grin. His shirts were always so soft and smelled like his cologne--a dead ringer for her Amortentia. 

Draco turned and tossed her a sweatshirt from the top of his dresser as he quickly changed into sweatpants. Y/N laid back in his bed, examining his room in the dim light. It was moments like these that she’d be willing to give everything for. Her boyfriend’s bed was so, so soft and the sweatshirt was so cozy. She felt the bed dip to her side and arms fold around her, pulling her into Draco’s warm chest. 

“I wish I could freeze this moment in time and live in it forever,” she whispered, letting her fingers trace up and down his chest as she felt it shake a bit with his laughter. 

“Me too.”

From her position, she had a perfect vantage point to look at the corkboard hanging over his desk. Out of sheer curiosity, she squinted at the notes pinned to it. As far as she could see, all the notes had some incredible sentimental value, whether it be from his mother or an artifact from a special day of his. A grin stretched across her face as she wondered if she’d be able to find one of the many notes she’d written to him pinned up. 

“What are you smiling about?” Draco teased, leaning forward to press a kiss to her forehead. 

“Noth--” the words died on her tongue as her eyes locked onto the final note. The tell-tale fancy cursive and signature was most certainly not hers. But she knew whose it was. The nausea that followed was immediate. Why was he saving notes from her?

She squinted a little harder to make out what it said in the low lighting. 

“Dearest Draco,” it read, “My parents wanted me to send this fruit basket to you as a celebration for your final year at Hogwarts. I hope you know that we’ve always got your back. No matter what. Yours, Astoria.”

“Is something wrong?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowing. He looked so concerned that Y/N thought that maybe telling him wouldn’t ruin the moment.

“I’m looking at your corkboard,” she told him, not trusting her voice not to shake. “And I’m seeing that you kept a note that Astoria wrote to you after we started dating. And you don’t keep any of mine.”

The energy immediately shifted as he sat up. “Are you actually serious?”

“Yes?” said Y/N, more confused than anything. “Can we please talk about this?”

“You know how it makes me feel when you imply that I’m cheating on you,” he said.

“I never said--”

“Then why bring it up?” he asked. “Honestly, at least she was never this sensitive. At this point it seems like you’re trying to get me to cheat on you.”

“Oh my god,” she said, pulling his covers off her and sitting up. “You’re seriously going to say that after you know how insecure she makes me feel?”

“Listen, Y/N,” he began, “If you’re not the type of girl who can handle my friendship with Astoria then that’s okay. But if that’s a deal-breaker I need to know now.”

“No! No, I want to be with you,” said Y/N, feeling her hysteria rise. “I respect it! Little stuff like this worries me, though, and I just want your reassurance. That’s all I want from you.”

“I shouldn’t have to justify what I keep on a corkboard,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief. “She’s just a family friend. It meant a lot to me to hear that from her and her family. I don’t understand why you’re making such a big deal out of this. If you can’t deal with this, then just say so. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Oh.” Y/N swallowed, pulling her knees into her chest. Why was everything so confusing? When things were good, they were perfect. Astoria was just...a constant obstacle for her to overcome. But he was worth it. He was always worth it, and she would do anything it took to make things right again, even if it meant swallowing her feelings. “I’m sorry. I know I’m overreacting.”

He reached out to cup her cheek. “Hey. It’s okay. Thanks for telling me. I guess I’ll try and distance myself as much as I can. It might be hard though, you know. Just because of our family. I’m sorry if it’s not enough for you.”

“No, no, Draco.” The guilt flowed into her as she realized just how much of a problem she was causing over this. He never cared if she talked to any of her exes, and it wasn’t like she had strong family ties to them. “You don’t have to do that if it’s a hassle. I trust you. You’re enough for me as you are.”

I want to trust you she thought as she looked at the boy in front of her. I just don’t know if I can. 

III. 

The Yule Ball brought all sorts of festivities. Y/N felt her worries slip away as Draco asked her to the ball in extravagant fashion, filling her room with her favorite flowers and giving her a locket with their initials etched into it. His devotion to her was clear, and she felt it as he twirled her across the floor of the Great Hall.

“I’m so happy I got to spend this with you,” she whispered to him as she rested her head on his shoulder while they swayed. “And I’m so excited to spend the holidays together.”

“Believe me, me too,” he whispered back, spreading out his fingers on her back to hold her a bit closer. “You look beautiful.”

“I couldn’t let you blow me out of the water now, could I?” she teased, relishing in the feel of his smile forming. 

“You mean the world to me, I hope you know that,” he said a few beats later. “I’d do anything for you.”

“Do you really mean that?”

“Of course, love.” He pulled away to frown down at her, his eyebrow slightly furrowed. “Is something wrong?”

Y/N sighed. She couldn’t pretend the be the perfect girlfriend any longer when this was eating her alive. “It’s just...I saw you and Astoria together at the Three Broomsticks.”

All the softness immediately disappeared from Draco’s face. “We were just going over Quidditch strategy for our next game.”

“But why with her?” she asked. “She’s two years younger. Why don’t I ever see you talking to Pucey? He’s the one who’s going to be captain when you leave.”

“She wanted extra coaching.” His voice was flat. “You know my family will be angry with me if I say no to that.”

“But we were supposed to go on a date that day!” she exclaimed. 

They’d stopped dancing, and Draco finally let go of her and stepped back. “It was a family thing. Don’t make this a bigger deal than it actually is. You always do this. Can you please just let this be a good night for us?”

“Excuse me?” she hissed, feeling her cheeks grow red. “Maybe you shouldn’t blow off your girlfriend to go out for drinks with your ex.”

“I told you,” he began waspishly, “She’s a family friend. She’s hardly my ex. Either way, you’re being completely ridiculous and you’re embarrassing me. I think it’s best that we spend the holidays separately.”

And with that, he left her alone in the middle of the dance floor. 

IV.

Dearest Y/N,

I’ve been thinking of you this holiday season. I really miss you. It seems like it’s been forever since I’ve gotten to see you. I’m sorry that we weren’t able to spend the holidays together. At the time, I thought I needed the space, but now I really regret it. I know I’ve been reactive lately. I’ve just been stressed. I’ve been such a shitty boyfriend to you, making you worry like this. I love you, Y/N, and I can’t wait to see you this January. There’s a package with this letter. I hope it made it to you. Wear it and think of me, will you, love? I annotated a few of the books I sent you, too. I am seeing if I can come visit this weekend if my schedule allows it.

Yours forever, Draco

Y/N sighed as she ran her fingernail over the stones of the choker he’d given her. The diamonds glittered under her fingertips. It was a beautiful, beautiful gift. He had included a few wizarding books—one on herbology, something he knew she liked, and another contemporary fiction book that all of her friends were talking about. She glowed at the thought that he was paying such close attention to what she liked. This was what made all the pain worth it, she thought, as she gazed lovingly at the note in her hands. He loved her. He was right, she had nothing to worry about. She was choosing to trust him, like you did in any healthy relationship. 

Seeing him later that week made her heart skip a beat. Her parents had left for dinner, leaving her and Draco to have some privacy. She leapt into his arms moments after he’d stepped out of the Floo. 

“Hiiii,” she said, pressing kisses into his neck. She could feel his smile.

“Hiii,” he echoed. “How have you been?”

“I’ve missed you more than anything,” she admitted, bouncing once on her bed as she sat down. “I have so much to tell you. I want to hear all about your winter break first, though. How was Christmas?”

“It went well,” he said, walking over to her bookshelf. “It was great to catch up with Edward. He and Father argued the entire night over the credibility of Rita Skeeter’s work—”

“Wait,” she said, sitting up ramrod straight. He turned to her, his eyebrows raised. “Edward? Like, Edward Greengrass?”

“Yeah, the Greengrasses were there,” he said slowly, a frown forming on his face. 

“I didn’t know about that. Why didn’t you tell me?”

He sighed. “Love, I did tell you. I guess you weren’t listening. Or you just don’t remember. Your memory has never been the best, has it?”

Y/N swallowed, racking her brain for any remembrance of that mention. She came up with nothing. Had she really just…forgotten? No, she wouldn’t have forgotten about that. “Oh. I guess I don’t remember.”

Draco’s smile was strained. “I see the books I sent you on your bookshelf already. Did you get through them that fast? I know you only put them there if they’re finished.”

“Oh, no, I’m still getting around to them,” she said, reassurance flooding her once again at the feeling of being recognized.

“Oh.” Draco went silent.

“Is there something wrong, love?” she asked, leaning forward so she could see his face better. He was wearing a deadly serious expression. 

“No, it’s nothing. It’s fine,” he said, running his fingers through his hair. “I just…I spent a lot of time annotating those for you. I just hope you actually get around to reading them. I know you have a habit of just forgetting about them.”

“No, Draco, they’re on my list!” she said, trying desperately to lighten the mood. “I promise I’ll get around to reading them. They made my week. Thank you.”

“If you say so.”

“Anyway,” rambled Y/N, “I’ve been dying to tell you something. I’ve come to the decision that I want my concentration to be on Potions and Arithmancy. I wrote to Snape over the break, and he told me that my plan would be excellent if I wanted to go into healing. Isn’t that great?”

“Yeah, yeah, definitely.”

“You don’t seem like you agree.”

Draco dropped his hands to his side in a dramatic swoop. “I’m sorry. I’ll try and be more enthusiastic. It just seems like a lot for you, you know? Like, you’re a History girl and you always have been. Why do you want to go into healing? You don’t have the skills for that. Most future healers start helping Madame Pomfrey by second year.”

“I know I don’t have experience in healing,” she said, deflated. “But Snape told me that my grades were exemplary and that he’d be willing to write a stellar recommendation to the program of my choice—”

“Ok, ok, I’ll shut up,” he said, holding his hands up in a surrender. “I’m happy for you, doll. Even if I don’t agree with your career choices.”

Y/N’s mouth felt dry as he came down to kiss her forehead. Something felt horribly wrong within her, like she was homesick. But she was in her childhood bedroom, with the love of her life—there was nowhere more like home. 

I.

She had to be dreaming. She had to be dreaming. There was no other reason as to why she could clearly see Draco and Astoria studying together in the library, Astoria giggling while Draco threaded his fingers through her hair. Especially after Draco had owled her, telling her he didn’t feel well enough to walk around the school grounds with her like they’d planned. 

Fueled by nothing but rage, she approached the table. “Draco,” she said, nodding a greeting to Astoria. The girl seemed unbothered by her presence, turning to give Draco the slightest eyebrow raise.

“Y/N, how good to see you,” she said, sending her a little wave. 

“Do you think you could go? I need to speak to Draco. Alone.”

They shared glances. “I’m sorry love, we really need to get this project done for her Runes class,” explained Draco.

“She can do it herself, I’m sure,” she said. 

“Sorry, doll, but she can’t. I gave her my word that I would help her.”

“Like you gave me your word that we’d go on a walk together?”

He shrugged. “I caught a chill. I didn’t think I could handle the winter air. I’ll come by your room after. It’ll only be a bit longer.”

Stunned, Y/N stared at him. Draco gazed back, his face devoid of any concern. “Er, right then. I’ll see you later.”

The homesickness was coming back, full force, like she wanted to vomit. But more pronounced than that was her fury. How dare he lie and cancel on her? How dare he snap at her for having one conversation with Harry when he turned around and did that with Astoria?

Y/N skipped dinner waiting for Draco to come by her room. One hour passed, then two, then three. It was just past curfew when a knock finally sounded at her door.

“Come in,” she said. Draco opened the door, stepping in. 

“Sorry for the wait,” he said briskly, setting his satchel on her chair. It occurred to her that he hadn’t even had the chance to stop by his room to drop his things off. He’d been with Astoria the entire time. “We ran into a bit of a snag with the—”

“I don’t care about the fucking project, Draco,” she said, her voice cracking. “I need to talk to you about this. I was okay with you being friends with Astoria. I was fine with you keeping contact. But I’m not okay with you lying to me—”

“I have never lied to you about Astoria. Stop overreacting,” he snapped. It was like another person had possessed the sweet Draco that was her boyfriend, any semblance of affection leaving his expression. “Don’t you ever try to blame me for the fact that you have a piss poor memory.”

“I don’t understand!” Y/N cried out. “I don’t understand why you insist on prioritizing Astoria over me but then blow up when I so much as look at Harry—”

“That’s different,” he interrupted. “You know it’s different. We’ve been enemies for years. You have to understand—”

“I’ve tried to understand,” she said. “I’ve tried so, so hard. You don’t even know how much I’ve tried to twist these situations around to make sense. But I’m tired of it, Draco. I wish I could just trust you. I can’t.”

He scoffed. “Are you seriously going to break up with me over this? That’s ridiculous and you know it.”

“Of course I’m not—”

“You are so ungrateful sometimes,” he continued, cutting her off. “Most people wouldn’t put up with this kind of bullshit accusatory behavior from their partner. Grow up, Y/N.”

“Ok.” She looked down at her palms, interlacing her fingers together for the much needed strength. “Ok. If I’m so ungrateful and such a pain to be around, then you don’t have to be anymore. Consider it done. We’re over.”

Draco froze. “Um, sorry. What did you just say?” 

“I said,” she began, fighting back the tears that were welling up in her eyes, “We’re over. I can’t do this anymore.”

His mouth shut, his face void of any further emotion. “Oh. Well, I think you can. You just don’t want to.”

“What I want is for you to leave,” said Y/N. “I want to go to bed.”

He spared her one last glance before yanking his satchel off the chair and slamming her door shut. 

~ 

She wasn’t sure what she expected from Draco. Maybe a bouquet of flowers, an elaborate apology, or a knock at her door at 3am to reveal a sobbing and heartbroken version of her now ex-boyfriend. What she wasn’t expecting was nothing except for the sight of Draco and Astoria together everywhere. He didn’t give her a second glance, just flouncing past her.

That was all before Astoria met half-Veela Beauxbatons transfer Hugo and left him in the dust. There was a sort of morbid pleasure in seeing Draco sit at the breakfast table alone, glowering over his toast. 

“Y/N,” said a familiar voice behind her. 

“Oh, hi, Harry,” said Y/N, turning around on the bench to see him. Harry looked somewhat concerned, his messy brown hair looking more ruffled than usual. 

“Can I sit?”

“Yeah, yeah sure.” Y/N couldn’t help but feel the pang of guilt at seeing one of her oldest friends sit next to her for the first time in almost a year. After she began to date Draco, she tried her best to avoid Harry to keep Draco from getting upset. She wasn’t quite sure how to even begin apologizing for what had happened.

“I heard about you and Draco,” began Harry, picking a crumpet off of her plate and buttering it. The familiar, friendly motion almost brought tears to her eyes. “I want to say I’m sorry. I know we haven’t been the closest lately, but I noticed you become a lot more reserved while you were with him. I don’t know the extent of which he caused that, but I hope you’re feeling better now.”

To her horror, a sob began to climb in her throat. Without knowing what else to do, she launched herself forward, throwing his arms around his neck. “I’m so sorry, Harry,” she mumbled into his shoulder. “I’m sorry for cutting you off. Draco—”

“I assumed he had something to do with it,” said Harry, patting her back awkwardly. “It’s really okay. You’re here now, yeah? Let’s start over. Friends again?” 

“Let’s.” She sat back up, wiped her eyes, and managed a watery smile. “I missed you, Harry. You’ve always been my best friend. I’m sorry I haven’t been yours lately.”

“For our debut back into society, do you want me to hex Malfoy’s balls off or something?” asked Harry casually, spreading jam onto her crumpet.

“Harry…”

“Now that I’m into the healer program, he can pay me to fix them in a couple of years,” he said.

“Did I tell you?” She grinned at him. The sick, homesick curdling in her stomach had vanished. “I think I want to apply to the healer program, too.”

Harry’s smile got even wider. “No way. You’d be great at that, Y/N. Snape likes you, too. You’ll definitely get in.”

Harry had been right. A month after she had ended things with Draco, her acceptance letter had come. It was all her friends could talk about. News apparently had gotten around to her Slytherin friends, too, as that night she heard a knock at her door.

“Come in,” she said.

Draco stepped in, looking somewhat uncomfortable. “Hi, Y/N.”

“Hi, Draco. Can I help you?’ She thought that when she saw him again, she’d feel regret. Looking at him now, though, she felt nothing. 

He cleared his throat. “I just wanted to say congratulations on your acceptance to the healer program. I knew you could do it. I’ve always believed in you, you know.”

She watched, her lips pressed into a thin line. “Thanks.”

“Also, I wanted to give you this.” Draco set a box down onto the desk. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, love, and I’ve realized that what I did wasn’t right. I didn’t listen to you and I regret that every day. You’re amazing. You’ve always been too good for me, which is why I feel so unworthy asking this of you.”

“Asking what?”

“I want to get back together,” he said, crossing the expanse of her room in a few steps and clasping her hands. “I can’t imagine being with anyone else. You’re the one for me, and I know that you feel the same way.”

She pulled away from him. “No.”

“Why not?” 

“Because our relationship wasn’t healthy, Draco. You weren’t good to me.”

“I…” He ran his fingers through his hair. He was stressed. He hadn’t prepared this far, Y/N noted. “I know, love. And I’m sorry about that. But when things were good they were great, weren’t they? Remember how great things were for the first few months? We could have that again.”

“You hurt me, Draco. That’s a risk I’m not willing to take again.”

���But think of how amazing we were together,” he said. “And we have a chance to do that again. But only if you give me another chance. What do you think?”

“What do I think?” Y/N stared at him for a few moments. “I think the trajectory of our relationship was concerning. It was controlling, unhealthy, and borderline abusive. I would have to be mad to put myself through that again.”

“But I want to change for you. You know me, love. You know I’m a good person. I want to be better for you. I’m capable of it. I’ll cut Astoria off. I won’t ever speak to her again.”

“I don’t think you’re a good person,” said Y/N, her voice cracking. “I didn’t realize that until after I ended things, but you’re not. If you really were one, you wouldn’t need me to end things before you had the magical ability to defy your parents’ wishes and cut off Astoria. No, if you had loved me independently of what I offered you, you wouldn’t have been so peeved by the parts of me that weren’t of your choosing. A good person wouldn’t treat me like that. You did.”

He scoffed. “Is that seriously how you see me?”

“Yes. Unlike you, I don’t lie.”

Draco straightened before grabbing the jewelry box off of her desk. “Forget it. I don’t know why I bothered. You were always a rebound. You know that, right?”

“I’m sorry for you,” she said suddenly. 

“I’m sorry for you,” he fired back. “Imagine how pathetic it is to be someone’s rebound.”

“No, that’s not why I’m sorry.” She met his eyes. “Draco, the 6 months I spent with you were the most unhappy months of my life. You sucked the life out of me. But I got to leave. I only had to waste 6 months of my life dealing with your fuckery and your inability to genuinely love other people. But you? You’re stuck with it. You have to live with that for the rest of your life. So, yeah, I’m sorry. It must be sad to be you.”

He slammed her door. 

Time passed quickly. Her short relationship with Draco drifted into the past. By graduation, she was so focused on planning for the healer program that he hardly ever crossed her mind. But that summer, when the annotated book that he’d written her was left on her bed, halfway finished as she’d left it in January, a sort of bittersweet anger washed over her. She opened it up to the very last page to see a long letter he’d written her that she’d never read, depicting how much he’d adored her and how much he’d loved her.

She sat on her bed, the annotated book pressed into her chest as she stared up at the ceiling. Did he ever even mean those words? Were they just hollow? Was she ever more than just a rebound fuck? 

But beyond all of that anger she felt for him, there was always an underlying sense of love. It didn’t matter how he felt. What mattered was that she had truly loved him.

Her fireplace roared to life as it was charmed to at 10 every evening, making her jump. After one last glance at the novel in her hands, she tossed it into the flame. 

She remained awake, watching until every page was reduced to ash. Then she slept.

final a/n: ooh! i almost forgot to mention. shoutout to my ex gf, the only woman i would ever consider calling a c*nt. i wish i’d had the chance to! this one goes out to u girl, thank u for being my muse <3 

[mickules]

Okay I saw your Mastermind Ishimaru and I got some ideas when you said it looked like a Persona 4 shadow confrontation.

Ishimaru's dungeon would be a Military Base with books lining the area. The part of him he wants to suppress is his wish to control the naturally chaotic surroundings. This includes the students in the school. His persona would be Hercules and specialize with fire based attacks. His weapon would be a sword of some sorts (he does kendo after all). Hercules did an unspeakable crime (the scandal) and seeks redemption by doing 12 different labors (Ishimaru's attempts of lessening the scandal of his name).

He would not join the investigation team until Mondo is thrown into the TV (I know, in the original picture had Mondo there). We see that during the class trial Ishimaru voted for himself. He was desprate to save his only friend. So only then does he offically get his glasses and join the team.

I am such a nerd.

Nerd away! Persona 4 has such a good premise to play around with.

Taka conflating his political aspirations with the military complex really expresses the internal conflict of wishing to lead but being scared of tyranny- as you say, how far will he take his instinct to control the natural chaos around him?

The comparison between the redemptive trails of Hercules and Taka's almost Sisyphean task of vindicating his family name is surprisingly apt! Taka's whole purpose being cleansing a sin he had no control over, and the prescriptive position of 'Moral Compass' imposed on him as a way toward absolution totally has echoes of Hercules Labours. (Plus trying to turn over a foul reputation isn't unlike slaying a hydra; one rumour refuted - two more in its place.)

You're also right about Taka getting involved because of Mondo that's thoroughly in character and it mirrors similarly to Chie and Yukiko. I originally had Mondo already a member of the team so he might see the depth of the insecurity of the 'flawless moral compass'. We get to see Taka's reaction to Mondo's deepest psychologies within the game, but Mondo seems to keep Taka (and chihiro) on a pedestal, he never sees how utterly Taka breaks.

It's a solid analysis, I love folk going deep with that kind of exploration! I think it's why I enjoy the dangan characters so much, there's a lot left on the table but it's not so empty that there's nothing to work with, it gives us interpretations that are entirely opposite, yet not actually contradictory! The chatfic banter gets me creased everytime! Captures the chaotic energy that is the gaggle of class 78 without adult supervision. I especially like the context building prose cutaways; really solidifies their offline relationships, and their intentions behind their messages in the chat. (I'm honestly dumbfounded that anyone references my memey nonsense outside of the social experiment that is tumblr XD My mind cannot compute)

:-o! No worries, that'd be more than fine, that'd be a real treat!

I mentioned it before but I'm clumsy with computers, something about them just slides through my brain and I'm left fumbling around. So if I miss something or I'm slow to notice or respond; that is entirely on my end! I'm loosey-goosey and am fairly unflappable so don't ever think that I've been bothered by any messages or the like :)

Yessss! Spoil me with more fanfics!

Can I just say, I am in awe of fanfic authors in all honesty; I cannot do what they do, the command of language to just - invent something? Magic. Genuine sorcery. Major props. All the ones I've been recommended so far have been ace; previously we had 'Jealousy' (they're on tumbl as @faustsqueeze I believe!) which I cannot predict the direction! I'm in anticipation of how those twists are gonna play out! 'University and Society' has great interpersonal interactions, and I'm a big fan of how natural the characters are in an aged up alternate setting. I've got 'Beyond Despair' in my bookmarks; The palpable tension rising from the stress of the distorted trials is! Good shit! Plus I'm a slag for a good mystery 'Mr Loverman' is waiting in the wings cos' oof you weren't lying about angst I'm gonna want to be comfy when I read that one 'The Hope out Here' was haunting - solid Aoi breakdown of how the class might survive in the dispaired world 'Liar' built up to just a wonderful crescendo! Trapped and forced to interact is prime Taka-Mondo real estate, love to see it.

[put-me-in-a-movie-mp3]

Hi!! Could I get a stranger things ship? I’m bisexual so no gender preference and I go by she/they pronouns!

Personality: I’m an INFJ and Ravenclaw. I am a leo sun, capricorn moon and libra rising. I am extremely shy and awkward. I am a true introvert and honestly have trouble speaking at all. Even in my friendships I like being the listener. I am described as the mom/therapist friend and am always giving advice. I’ve been described as wise a lot. I’ve been told I am gentle by lots of peers and teachers. I’ve also been told that I have the demeanor of a mom??? There are only a few people I let loose around. I like to joke around and have a unique sense of humor. Some might just think it’s weird lol. One of the reasons I like playing DnD so much is because I can pretend to be another person.

Appearance: I’m 5’8”, hourglass body shape, chubby/midsize, long wavy dark brown hair (basically black), pale olive toned skin, brown eyes. I have three stick n’ poke tattoos and one professional tattoo. I’m planning on getting loads more! I usually wear dark clothes, mostly black. I like a mixture of feminine and masculine clothes. I like wearing jeans, band tees, skirts and sweaters.

Interests: I have always had a love of the occult. I love anything dark and scary. I watch horror movies practically daily and play mostly horror games (except for the sims 4 lmao). I enjoy reading about true crime and creepy pastas. I am a practicing witch and am super into Tarot/Astrology/Crystals. I do Tarot readings for all of my friends and family and have done everyone’s birth charts. I am a HUGE DnD nerd and am playing in two campaigns at the moment (my favorite being Curse of Strahd). In high-school I was a part of the DnD club. I hope to DM my own game one day. My favorite movie series of all time is Lord of the Rings. It is a huge comfort series for me. I also collect DC comics and LOVEE Batman/Gotham storylines. Besides that, my favorite movies are The Last Unicorn, The Ring and Labyrinth. I am a college student and am majoring in Psychology. I want to become a CBT therapist. I grew up in an artistic household and do art in my free time. I play piano and guitar as well. I adore animals and have volunteered at a Veterinary Clinic. I’ve had pet dogs, cats, rats, fish and turtles. I used to raise butterflies as well. My mom is a librarian, so I am a big reader. The library is definitely a comfort place for me. I enjoy children’s chapter books, horror, fantasy and (some) romance. Some of my favorite books are Daisy Jones and the Six, The Wikkeling, From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler and Coraline. My parents are both alternative/grunge, so I grew up listening to a lot of rock bands like; Nirvana, The Pixies, Metallica, Smashing Pumpkins, Hole, Foo Fighters, Mazzy Star, Ramones etc. I love many genres ranging from heavy metal to country (more 50s-70s country). My favorite artists are Fleetwood Mac, David Bowie, The Beatles, Nirvana, Mitski, and Dolly Parton.

Thank you so much!!

Of Course! Here you are! :)

Stranger Things

Eddie Munson

You guys end up meeting at vet. Eddie had to bring in one of Dustin's cats, as a favor, and you just so happened to be there. He had absolutely no clue what to do because he did not grow up with animals in his household. You end you filling him in on the information and what to do just to have him bluntly tell you that you're gonna have to call Dustin because he didn't understand and just wouldn't be able to remember. The cat was fine it just had a little cold but also needed to be up to date on some shots it needed. You end up calling Dustin and fill him in only for him to try to hook you up with Eddie towards the end of the phone call. You didn't know Eddie but you knew Dustin from classes you had been in with him, even though you are a senior in high school. Dustin persuaded you into a least trying to get to know Eddie. You had seen him be considered the "freak" at school but you never though that he was one. You just didn't know him. Dustin told you that he was really into rock music, knew how to play the guitar, had his own DnD club called "HellFire", and that he also liked horror movies, just like you. You thought it was so bizarre that you had so much in common that you just had to meet him and you guys were made for each other. Eddie was extremely nervous and you ended up talking about your favorite things with each other. You guys ended up going on more dates and then started officially dating. As you were dating Eddie you joined "HellFire" and even made friends with his friends. You became family with them. You also just so happen to get to know Robin, Steve, Jonathan, and Nancy!

[firemanwhenthefloodsrollback]

side character deaths in buffy

I've been thinking a lot recently about death in buffy, mainly inspired by Help and everything that has to say to us about avoiding, accepting and understanding death

obviously the main characters' deaths are heartbreaking, because they're written to be heartbreaking and break our relationships with characters we love and know well. buffy (twice), angel, spike, joyce, tara, anya, and all the many alternate universe and dream vision deaths that kill the main characters rip my heart out of my chest for obvious reasons. but today I've been thinking more about the deaths of people we didn't know that well and whose deaths we watch without knowing them well. so I'm gonna talk about some of those cause it's my blog and you can't stop me.

(for the purposes of this post I'm counting main characters as anyone who was in the credits, with the addition of joyce because come on)

Deputy Mayor Allan Finch/Warren in Bad Girls and Villains

These two deaths both make you gasp for the same reason - they're sudden, physically icky (warren has the edge here with the flaying but the dark blood and death rattle for allan is also horrible to watch) and while we don't have a lot of positive feelings for the victim, we gasp because of what it means for the murderers and how we suddenly realised this season is going to get darker than we thought. faith and willow both spend the rest of their time on the show dealing with the consequences of these deaths and the audience knows in the moment they happen what it has to mean for the main characters. we want to save faith and willow from the consequences of having done this. just like faith, we're confused in the dark when a figure comes towards the slayers and we don't realise what's happening immediately, and with willow we've been watching her friends approach through the forest the whole time she's giving her evil speech thinking they have to be in time to stop her because no way would the writers let willow torture a man to death on screen. If warren or the deputy mayor had died because of a demon or accident we probably wouldn't have noticed (in the deputy mayor's case) or we'd have actively applauded (I rly wanted to watch warren die).

Jesse in The Harvest

I'm guilty of forgetting about Jesse (and so is the buffy writers room when they fail to mention him for seven years) but killing off a character who looked all set to become a scooby in the pilot and then making his best friend dust him as a vampire was both shocking and showed us a lot of the issues the show would go on to consider in miniature, right at the start. we've had campy vampires running around and wisecracking, we've had vampires being cool and edgy, the master being a total ham, but then we suddenly have to watch xander grapple with the idea that vampires are more than strangers in graveyards, they're the people you knew with yellow eyes and no soul, they can talk to you with all their childhood memories of you intact. season one might do a lot of floppy cardboard monsters but Jesse's death tells us they fully intend to Go There with the horrifying psychological implications of what vampires can do to you.

Jenny Calendar and Kendra Young in Passion and Becoming

I think of these deaths together because they were both characters that we half-knew and thought we'd get to know more. they were both characters who we felt could have gone on to be in the credits, have their own plots, and had a lot left to explore on the show. having two slayers in town could have been interesting (and would go on to be interesting in season three) and as well as her love story with Giles, we'd just had the veil pulled back about Jenny's heritage and reason for coming to Sunnydale - so both of these deaths were in the horrible sweet spot of having got to know the characters more than someone like Jesse, but not feeling 'done' with them yet. they were both killed by vampires who didn't even feed on them, by neck injuries that weren't bites by 'big bad' vampires who were really after someone else. after their deaths they both set more in motion and had long thematic afterlives - we think about Kendra when faith is called, and when we meet the potentials, and Jenny gives us the soul curse and gets willow started casting spells. Kendra definitely deserved more remembering than she got, and in a world where Joss Whedon had more time for Black characters I like to think we'd have got more of her and Mr Pointy.

the normal teens buffy couldn't save

before I started writing this post, I knew this was where we were going to end up.

(Jonathan maybe doesn't totally count here but I did because his final lines made me so sad)

characters who chose to join a battle between good and evil and died as part of that fight break my heart, but at least with Jenny and Kendra they knew at least partly what they were signing up for. Larry and Harmony we knew enough to have compassion for, and even when they were mean they were mean in regular school kid ways rather than big bad evil ways. I went to school with all of these people and probably so did everyone else.

Larry and Harmony died on graduation day when they were meant to be becoming adults under posters that said 'the future is ours' - Larry was newly out as gay and Harmony was about to get out from under the popular girls and maybe become a person who could stand on her own two feet, and Buffy could have helped them if there'd been less murder and death going on everywhere around them. harmony as a screaming blonde teen was exactly the type of victim buffy saves ten times an episode in alleys outside the bronze. Jonathan had more of an arc but at the end, back in high school after making an optimistic, bittersweet speech about coming to terms with high school and being optimistic about the rest of his life, leaving behind Andrew and Warren's bitter obsessive revenge of the nerds fantasies.

and Cassie, my heartbreaking queen, the one that gets me more than anyone that I wrote about a lot yesterday, knew what was coming and that no one could save her, and all the things she listed that she knew she'd miss were teenage coming of age things. she wanted to go backpacking, attend college, go to a dance with a boy, and fall in love one day. the whole of Help, she's considering the rites of passage she won't get to do, and in her therapy sessions Buffy tries to inspire her to want to go to college or join the french foreign legion. for buffy, saving Cassie means giving her a future. we haven't met the potentials or heard the word potential yet in Help but this episode is all about potential, and Buffy's attempts to save a life meaning safeguarding someone's potential and right to grow up.

[dindjarindiaries]

Mandoctober - October 31: Family

summary: You’re alone and in need of a family and a home—and the Mandalorian notices.

pairing: din djarin (the mandalorian) x gn!reader

warnings: insinuations of past harm/abuse, soft!din

rating: G

word count: 1.423k

mandoctober masterlist

october 31: family

The wind hasn’t been this bad in a while. It whips through the alleyway you’ve been accustomed to hiding in, shivering into the crates left abandoned by the local shop owners. Your hands grip at the sleeves of your run-down tunic, hoping that you can somehow fill the small holes that have started to tug at the fabric. You have no idea how many days it’s been since you ran from your old life, from your everyday torture—but you know whatever suffering you face in this alleyway now is much better than what you’re used to.

The galaxy isn’t kind and you’ve learned that the hard way. Years of trying to work as a servant to earn your freedom, instead getting shipped around like the items circulating in the nearby marketplace, has been enough to make you come to such a conclusion. You’d only been shown love by the animals that have crossed your path—and sometimes the children of those you served.

But this last one had been different. The entire family was out to get you, working you to the bone and barely paying you a single credit for it, constantly berating you about the Rebel past of your parents. They would purposely forget to feed you most days and nights and they’d make sure you went to bed late and then had to wake up early. Although most of the pain was psychological, you felt so worn down that you thought you’d break—and so you left it all behind. You ran as far as your feet could take you and now you’ve ended up here.

And shivering in an alleyway is a much better alternative to the life you used to lead. At least out here, you have freedom.

Your face hides in your arms as you cross them over your knees, hugging them tight to your chest. You can feel yourself trembling but many things have since become numb. The alleyway has always been windy thanks to its build, but today, it’s whipping harder than usual and you can practically feel every hair on your body standing on its end as you grit your teeth.

A shadow suddenly passes over you and you think it must be an oncoming storm. But then, there’s the sound of spurs treading the ground lightly, as if they’re trying to keep their steps light. The coldness of terror grips you as you dare to look up, instantly meeting the blank visor of a Mandalorian. His silver armor reflects the light of the overcast sky, making blink a few times as you adjust to it. The metal of his armor clinks as he bends down to your level, one of his elbows resting against his knee. You swallow hard.

“What do you need?” you ask, your voice hoarse from its lack of use since running away.

The Mandalorian doesn’t respond right away. Instead, his helmet tilts at you, as if he’s observing you more closely now. You flex your fingers nervously. “I would like you to answer that.” His voice is modulated and comes out in a rasp, sounding gentle yet also revealing how rough he’s used it in the past. It makes a chill run through you.

You shrug, fingers starting to grip at the dirty fabric of your pants. “I’m all right.”

The Mandalorian doesn’t move. You hold your breath, waiting for the moment he cuffs you and announces that your previous employers had sent out a bounty for you. Surprisingly, he stays in place and asks a question that knocks the breath from your lungs. “Has anyone asked to help you?”

You hesitate, wondering if this is somehow a trick. In your desperation, you decide it’s not, and you shake your head.

A grunt falls from the Mandalorian’s helmet in disapproval as he looks away from you for a moment. When his visor returns to your gaze, you watch him gingerly reach a gloved hand out to touch your upper arm. “I will be the first, then.” He pauses, never moving. “Do you like bone broth?”

You nod, opposed to refusing any kind of food when you’ve been living off scraps even before you ran away. The Mandalorian nods in understanding and stands up.

“Stay here. I’ll return with some.”

You nod again and hold your tunic close as your shivering continues. The Mandalorian hesitates, and you watch as he suddenly unclips his cape from his back and sets it over you. Your hands tug at the rough fabric graciously, your cheeks heating up a bit at his kindness. “Thank you—very much, sir.”

The Mandalorian simply nods yet again, heading off in the same direction he’d came. You notice now that he has a circular metal compartment following him, floating wherever he goes. You wonder what he’s bringing along as he disappears from sight, and you feel your shivering slightly beginning to subside thanks to the warmth of the Mandalorian’s cape. Though his actions seem gracious and nothing short of kind, you can’t help wondering what his intentions are, and you can only pray to the Maker that they’re not unkind.

You’re lost in these thoughts until the Mandalorian returns, a bowl of broth in hand that he gives to you once he kneels next to you again. You accept it with another word of thanks, holding it between both hands as you sip at it almost viciously. The Mandalorian remains silent beside you as you eat, nearly tearing up at the feeling of such warmth and fullness inside you. You’re amazed at the fact a Mandalorian finally got you to such a point.

When you finish, you set the bowl down onto the ground beside you, facing the Mandalorian with gratitude and curiosity. “Thank you,” you say genuinely, your voice low as you keep the conversation between him and yourself. “You’ve been very kind.” You hesitate, swallowing hard as you go on. “Now, may you answer my first question? What do you need from me?”

The Mandalorian lets out a sigh, crackling through his modulator as his visor never leaves you. Despite the fact there’s no gaze there, you can feel it burning through you, and you writhe a bit under its intensity. “You are alone.” The Mandalorian pauses as if waiting for confirmation of his statement. You nod. “You have lost your family.” You nod again. “You have no home.” You nod yet again. This time, the Mandalorian returns your nod. “Then I will provide you with both.”

Your brow furrows together as your mouth falls open in shock for a moment. “I… I—I’m sorry sir, you said you’ll provide me with a family and a home?” The Mandalorian nods again. You’re still at an utter loss for words. “How much will it cost me?” You expect there to be some work you must do in exchange for such hospitality.

Instead, the Mandalorian shakes his head. “No cost. No work.”

“But surely, you must need something in return.”

The Mandalorian simply bows his head. “This is the Way.”

For a quick moment, you smile, but you fade when you remember that a stranger is the one offering you this deal. Things could quickly become worse should his intentions switch up as soon as you leave with him. Your guard goes back up immediately and you can tell the Mandalorian notices.

“There’s no need to be afraid. I will not hurt you.” As if to prove it, the Mandalorian taps something on his vambrace, and the metal casing from before splits in two to reveal a small, sleeping form inside. Your eyes widen to see a tiny green baby, his ears like petals as soft snores tumble from his lips. He looks at ease—and you realize you won’t be the first one this Mandalorian’s taken in. “I was trained to protect and to uphold my Creed. This includes being of service to you—should you accept it.” The Mandalorian closes the contraption and faces you again. He’s now proven his ability to be true to his words and keep you safe, and so you let your smile return as you answer him.

“I will accept your gracious offer, Mandalorian.”

The Mandalorian nods at you, standing up and offering a gloved hand to you. “Then come, kar’ika. It’s time to bring you home.” You accept his hand as he helps you stand up, supporting your unsteady legs as he leads you to the family he’s just promised you, one that’s bound to last until the day you meet the Maker.

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