#also you just have to be being intentionally dense to not understand why happiness is a warm gun isnt winning and some of those comments are

[radioprune]

I want people to practice empathy and strive to understand the experience of others! the foundation for a philosophy such as this is love sheriff Truman!

[bettsfic]

Hi betts! I hope you’re doing alright and that your semester is wrapping up smoothly. I have a question about genre, I guess? I’ll preface this with the fact that I am not a writer or lit person, but just an enthusiastic reader. But as I’ve been on Tumblr and TikTok (in this case BookTok), I’ve noticed that it’s a lot of the same kinds of books that people get obsessed over. Largely, SFF written by women and often in “new adult.” I’m thinking of V. E. Schwab, Leigh Bardugo, etc. I’ve read a number of these books and enjoyed some of them quite a lot, but they’ve never captivated me the way they do some. That’s fine, people have different tastes. But after being served yet another TikTok about this same category of book, I kinda realized that for some reason they just don’t feel that adult to me. Which is weird because they typically deal with very adult themes. Some are super sexual or violent and the like, but the way they’re written doesn’t feel mature to me. Even The Poppy Wars, which is very adult, falls into this category for me (I did enjoy this one, though). I’ve tried to interrogate this for bias, especially since I know a lot of people like them because they are written by women, (mostly) feature more diversity, and have large female audiences. But then I think about which books did feel adult, but fall in similar genres: N. K. Jesimin and Ursula Le Guin come to mind (even her youth fiction feels more adult to me). So I guess I’m curious what you feel makes a writing style more mature versus simply the content? Why is it that SFF, while often depicting adult events, doesn’t come across as mature? I guess my frustration is that it’s one of my favorite genres, but the recommendations I’m getting across many folks just...isn’t the SFF I want. How does one distinguish between these? Idk if I’ve expressed this well and I definitely am not trying to judge people. I’m just looking for a certain atmosphere in my reading that I find rarely.

i’m so excited i have an answer to this. so first i want to say, i experience this also and it’s why i struggle to get through a lot of books. it’s why i love the secret history but couldn’t get twenty pages into if we were villains, even though everyone told me they had a lot in common. even if the description of a book is compelling and the story is very much to my taste, and even if the writing is totally competent, i’ve found that sometimes there’s just something lacking that makes me set a book down and never pick it back up. 

i was thrilled to find there’s term for this: the implied author.

the implied author was coined by wayne c. booth in his book the rhetoric of fiction which, while dense, is a really fantastic read (if you’ve been keeping up with my newsletter you know how feral i am for this book). as a blanket definition, the implied author is the space that exists between the narrator and the writer. when you read something, you can’t make any factual conclusions about the writer (the author is dead and all that), but the narration often tips you off to the idea that the consciousness behind the writing is wiser and knows more than the narrator. 

that’s a very condensed version of booth’s definition, which takes up like 40 pages. here forward are some conclusions i’ve drawn based on it. 

when the space between the narrator and implied author is narrow, some of us as readers tend to get bored pretty quickly. it’s what you’re referring to as maturity. however, when that space is wide, when it’s clear that the implied author is much, much bigger than the narration, that’s when i’m willing to sink my teeth into something. the wider that distance, the more i’m happy to ignore things like syntactical clumsiness or poor grammar. i would follow a good implied author into hell. 

for example, i could write a story from the point of view of a violent abuser. if you were to read it, you wouldn’t be able to say for certain that i, the writer, was not a violent abuser also. but you would be able to tell via the implied author whether or not there is an awareness of the abuse, whether it’s being written with intentionality. not morality, mind you, but artistic purpose. 

the implied author has an idiosyncratic relationship to the reader. sometimes depending on the complexity of the work and the critical reading skills of the reader, the presence of the implied author can be invisible. this is the catalyst, imo, to a significant amount of the present morality discourse. many (if not all) purity officers and antis don’t have the reading skills to be able to see the implied author, or that the moral trespasses that occur in fiction are written intentionally and for a purpose. they believe that anything depicted in fiction is advocating for or promoting that which it’s depicting. 

lolita is kind of the ultimate classic example of the inability of some readers to see the implied author. nabokov even has a fictional preface from the pov of a scholar doing research, flat-out telling us that humbert is a bad guy and Do Not Trust Him. and yet, lolita has been misinterpreted and vilified for decades now.

in that same vein, the implied author is the reason that some stories put a bad taste in our mouths. it’s how we reach the conclusion that a story is racist or sexist or homophobic outside the literal depictions of racism, sexism, and homophobia. how can you witness racism taking place in a story and know that it’s speaking to the experience of racism and not advocating for racism? that’s the presence of the implied author. sometimes, though, you can’t tell. sometimes a writer tries to speak to the experience of something and fails at making clear their own awareness. or sometimes, they’re just not aware at all. 

in fanfiction, the implied author takes place, in part, in the tags. i remember stumbling upon a fic written by a purity officer which depicted an extremely unhealthy, non-negotiated power dynamic. and none of it was tagged. i had no evidence the author was aware that they were even writing something “problematic.” obviously i support their right to depict whatever kind of relationship they want for whatever reason they want, but i did find it a bit off-putting, that this person who was a known harasser in fandom had no seeming understanding that they were writing the very kind of fic they were rallying against.

but, you know, my hands aren’t clean either. until the MFA, i was a very poor reader. for example, in 2010 i read the hunger games for the first time. in 2020 i re-read the series on my kindle, where all my annotations from 2010 had been saved, and so i got to see all my glaring misinterpretations of the text. every time katniss has to get dolled up in the capitol and made beautiful, i left a note like “ugh,” because i thought all depictions of performative femininity were Bad. even though thg is a YA book and i was an honors student in college, i was still unable to see that katniss’s beautifying was commentary on consumerism. i was oblivious to collins’ implied author, the presence in the book that is shaking you by the shoulders and going, THIS IS WHAT’S WRONG WITH SOCIETY. 

but sometimes, like in your case, the opposite situation occurs: you the reader are wider than the implied author, and so some books have little to offer you in terms of depth or insight into the human experience. i don’t mean that to sound pretentious or anything; what i mean is, we all read at different skill levels and for different reasons, and we all get different things out of the stories we read. we’re all at different places in our reading lives, and we all have room to grow.

i hope i explained this clearly enough! hopefully one day i’ll be able to write a formal essay on this, because booth wrote about it in the 60s and a lot has happened in fiction since then. 

[interlunium-opus]

No Place I’d Rather Be. [ Jay ]

[ Jay | fluff ]

Abstract: when you went to the library on the night when the Triennial Winter Ball was held, you expected to be all alone. But Jay, your best friend and the  campus heartthrob is somehow already there waiting for you.

You stared out of the corridors of windows as you ascended up the staircase of the desolated library, your eyes fixated on the bustling crowd outside. It was the night the Triennial Winter Ball was held: basically the night everyone looked forward to the moment they started university. Unlike how dark, drab and quiet winter nights in campus usually are — tonight, the campus was alight with festive lights lining up the path leading up to the grand hall and students filtering in, decked in their “Sunday best”, filling the otherwise quiet night with cacophony of laughters, chatters, and whispers.

Standing in contrast with the crowd outside was you, all alone in the dimly-lit library, decked in monochrome with books in hand instead clinking glasses and waltzing with others in an elegant dress. You sighed as you thought to yourself, who am I kidding, my introverted soul wouldn’t last a minute in there.

“You’re late today.”

You jumped, startled, dropping some of the books you were carrying. Given the context of tonight, no one should have been in the library right now. Especially not the campus heartthrob and the social butterfly, Jay Park.

“Jay?” You called out, squinting your eyes to get a clearer view of the tall figure at the end of the aisle. The dim-lighting were of no help at all but the blonde locks and the deep voice were a massive giveaway, “wait..what are you doing here?!”

“You look petrified to see your own best friend, it’s almost heartbreaking,” Jay muttered sarcastically as he made his way towards you before reaching down to pick up the books you had dropped.

“Well, duh, no one should be here tonight especially not you,” you retorted as you walked towards your usual seat at the corner, the one with the large windows and dimmest lighting, “people are going to think that you got kidnapped or something and oh God, the amount of hearts you’re breaking tonight with your no-show.”

“Well, what’s your excuse?” Jay raised an eyebrow at you.

“Jay, we have been best friends for almost 2 years now, you know why I am not there — I would just combust,” you said as a matter-of-factly as you took a seat.

“But it’s our final year, you’ve got to make it count — socially I mean. And come on, it’s the Triennial Winter Ball not some frat party,” he grumbled as he sat on the armrest of the chair next to you with his body facing you and arms folded. Being a massive extrovert with a lifestyle that tends toward opulence — tonight’s extravagance was right up his alley and all month long he had been endlessly badgering you to attend it. Being the massive introvert you are though, the ball is basically the last thing you would want to attend.

That said, as incredulous as the friendship between the two of you are to many people, you two are polar opposites that complement one another in a way that two differently-shaped puzzle pieces can only fit one another. Being a social butterfly, your individualism, rationality and brilliant intellect really stood in stark contrast with the homogenous crowd and superficial conversations that he constantly surround himself with. With an equally subtle sarcastic dark humor to match, a tenacity like no others and a brilliant intellect that constantly challenge and stimulates his mind — you’re like an oasis in the desert.

Likewise, Jay, too, was like a breath of fresh air to you. You have had some initial reservations about him though. After all, he was more known for his lavish lifestyle and the parties he throw. But beyond those such fronts, Jay was highly knowledgable with strong passion for what he believes in — qualities of which really matched yours. Not to mention, being pragmatic and rational himself, he was one of the rare few people in your life that you don’t need to put up a social filter for as he is always able to objectively understand your views and opinions.

That is how you two end up going from being touted as the “cursed” pairing that was doomed to fail when you two were first paired for a project in “Modern Political Thought” module, to the Dream Team that ended up trouncing everyone else’s project, attaining the highest score out of everyone in class. In fact, you two just keep on surprising everyone by becoming almost inseparable even after the module ended.

“Who’s to say a couple of drinks isn’t going to turn a ball into a frat party?” You shot him an incredulous look before turning your attention to the books you were flipping, “… exam is around the corner anyway.”

“1.5 months away,” he emphasized as he lowered his head down to your level, peeking over your shoulders to take a closer look at your notes, “Seriously? you’re skipping tonight’s extravagance and festivities for Multivariate Functions and Lagrangian? I’d have let it slide if you were working on a prose instead.”

“Well what’s your excuse for being here then? I’m pretty sur-“ you stopped mid-sentence, caught off guard by how close his face actually was to yours when you looked up to face him. Jay’s face as usual was unperturbed, his blonde locks softly framed his chiseled face and his lips was pouty in concentration as his eyes travelled from one end of your notebook to the other before he turned his face slightly and met your gaze. You swore for a moment you felt your heart skip a beat but the moment one corner of his lips lifted into his signature lopsided grin, that thought immediately disappeared as you knew he was going to say something sarcastic or dramatic.

“How can I be so selfish and party away when my best friend is all sad and depressed alone in this library?”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, “Jay, as if-”

“Also,” he suddenly interjected, “the girl that I asked out for tonight rejected me so….”

“Wait, what?!” You gasped, “The Jay Park got rejected?”

“I know right. She rejected an offer that millions would have killed for,” he shrugged as he straightened back up.

“Exactly! who in their right mind would- anyway, at the risk of sounding insensitive, couldn’t you have substituted her with other girls? Like you said, millions would have killed to be your date — you can just pick and choose.”

“Wow, ____, you really have ice in your veins don’t you?” he smirked.

“Whatever, just being rational.”

“I know. I definitely could. I mean the head cheerleader asked me out too so I could have just accepted it,” he murmured, “but...” he paused, “as cringeworthy as this sounds, 80% of the reason why I really looked forward to the ball was because I was looking forward to spending it with the girl who rejected me. So without her in the picture, the whole vision just suddenly lost its spark. Like… I’d rather just spend time with her then whether it is at a ball or library or wherever.”

“Oh…” you managed, unsure how to react, “that’s kind of… deep I guess. Well yeah, I mean if you still don’t feel bitter over her rejecting you then sure, you do you, go after her. Unless of course she’s at the ball with someone else then maybe not…”

Instead of responding promptly as he usually does, Jay just heaved a huge sigh as if he was disappointed or something. His eyes glued onto yours as if trying to pry some information out of your mind, “You know you’re awfully dense. Have you ever thought that maybe you’re too studious that it’s beginning to cost you your social skills or something?”

Jay has always been blunt but tonight, it was just on a different level. It was almost like he was here to intentionally grate you as if someone was actually keeping score. You retorted, “Excuse me. Did you just come all the way here to push my buttons? Because yo-“

You stopped mid-sentence again when he suddenly leaned closer towards you, his hands on either side of you, one on the edge of your table and the other, gripping your headrest, “I am already with her right now.”

You furrowed your brows in confusion, your mind working on overdrive.

“Fine,” he uttered, ”let me spell it out for you — you’re the girl. You’re the one who rejected me. Twice.”

You opened your mouth to tell him to stop joking but his unperturbed facial expressions told you otherwise. Still in disbelief, you stammered, “No way — Me? When?! I mean we talked about the ball a couple of times but you’ve never… unless - wait… you were serious?”

You remembered it was a Saturday night, about 2 weeks ago at almost 4 AM when you and Jay was at the library burning the midnight oil. You were busy trying to finish up your Econometrics assignment while Jay, who had long given up with his Philosophy assignment, was engrossed in a movie marathon next to you.

“Ugh,” you groaned when your regression results turned ‘insignificant’. You turned your attention to the papers and books strewn across your desk, frantically flipping through the pages to see where the error could have been and how else can you rectify this.

“You need to sleep on it,” Jay murmured, casting worried glances at you, “You’ve been on it for hours.”

“I can’t,” you shook your head, your eyes scanning over your messy handwriting, “I’ll end up obsessing about it again at home so I definitely need to get to the bottom of this today, that’s the only way I can sleep.”

Jay sighed, pausing his movie and turning his attention fully towards you, “Fine. But you really need to reward yourself for working so hard this semester because otherwise, you’ll just burn out. Also, by reward, I did not mean hibernating.”

“Hmm,” you nodded absentmindedly when suddenly Jay snatched the pen you were using, “Hey ___ eyes on the person talking please. What did I just say?”

You rolled you eyes, relenting, “Something about rewarding myself and not hibernating — there, happy? Can I get my pen back?”

“Good,” Jay beamed, quickly pulling his hand away when you were about to snatch your pen back from his grasp, “The Triennial Winter Ball would be a good idea of a reward by the way.”

You scoffed, “Jay, that is probably your idea of a reward but it definitely won’t be mine. First, I’ve got to look all made up from top to bottom — that takes up too much resources for something an introvert like me possibly won’t even enjoy — that’s the equivalent of some floppy investment prospects right there.

“Secondly, I avoid crowds like the plague whenever I could help it and the ball has all the variables that could make me combust on spot: there are a lot people; a lot of emotions; a lot of expectations and — well, you get the picture.

“And finally, I would need to find someone to go with — again, too much trouble.“

“You have me, where’s the trouble in that?” he asserted, snatching your pencil case away this time when you were about to reach for it, “Just go with me then.”

“Yeah no that’s ridiculous,” you shook your head, stretching your hand out to him, beckoning him to give your stationaries back, “Stop playing, give me my stationaries back.”

Ignoring your demand, he pressed on, “Why is that so ridiculous?”

You sighed, “Because A) everyone wants a piece of you so B) I’d be burnt at stake if we do go together. And also C) You should spend that special night with a special someone, not your best friend — come on, Jay, you need to work on your prioritization skill.”

“Wait — that was meant to be it?” You shrieked as you recalled the memory, “I mean, it just rolls so casually in our conversation — I couldn’t have possibly picked it up as serious. Anyway, fine — when was the other time?”

“Just a few days ago when I was sending you home,” Jay replied as-a-matter-of-factly. Jay remembered skipping dance practice that night, earning an earful from the instructor the next day, just so that he can walk you home after your Students’ Union meeting with the president, Yang Jungwon.

“You’re really set on not going to the ball?” Jay asked for the umpteenth time and you nodded.

“What if I tell you that I know someone who is thinking of asking you out for the ball?” Jay prodded, stopping you in your tracks, “I’m serious.”

“Still no.”

“I have not even told you who he was,” Jay grumbled.

“Fine, entertain me,” you relented.

“Jungwon.”

“Jay stop messing around.”

“I told you I’m serious, geez,” Jay said exasperatedly.

“But why — what is that kid thinking…”

“I don’t know — maybe you should stop having some night meetings with him alone before it grows into a full-blown crush or something,” Jay shrugged before you smack him lightly on the arm. “Ouch!” he whined, “Anyway so? Will that be a yes or a no?”

“Of course no, Jungwon’s a definite no.”

“Well, I saved him from a heartbreak then,” Jay mumbled.

“Huh?” You stared at him.

“Nothing,” Jay quipped, smiling sheepishly. The truth was, one of the reason why he insisted to walk you home tonight was because he overheard Jungwon telling Heeseung this morning that he definitely would ask you out to the ball after the meeting, perhaps right after, perhaps while walking you home. Knowing that someone as upright as Jungwon was going to ask you out, Jay thought he should have been elated for this might mean that you will actually come to the ball. But somehow, like a broken record, the conversation kept on playing in his mind all day during his classes, accompanied with the 1001 likely scenarios of how you’d likely respond to him. By the time night has set in, all he knew was that he was dead set on not letting Jungwon ask you out to the ball, by hook or by crook. He did not fully comprehend why, perhaps he just did not like Jungwon, he thought. Or maybe, he didn’t like you with Jungwon together — or perhaps, he actually didn’t like you with any other guys. Fortunately by the time he had reached the Student Centre of the Campus, completely out of breath that is, he can see that you and Jungwon were still discussing the union project. Once the meeting ended, as indicated by Jungwon switching the projector off, Jay just barged in, announcing that he’ll take you home much to your suprise and to Jungwon’s dismay.

“Why not though?” Jay suddenly asked, “I mean accepting Jungwon? He’s like the textbook example of an ideal guy: cute, smart, upright, overachiever and whatnot”

“Well, my good friend has a crush on him for the longest time so that’s one big reason,” you explained, “also, we don’t even know each other that well on a personal level for me to say yes to.”

“Then would you go with me instead?” Jay suddenly grabbed onto your hand, stopping you in your tracks, “I mean, if you’re worried about having a good time, wouldn’t I be ideal then?”

For a moment, silence engulfed the two of you as you two stared into one another’s eyes. You opened your mouth to say something but immediately closed it, remembering how just this morning you overheard that the head cheerleader had asked Jay out, “Jay, just go with someone else more fitting okay? You don’t have to pity invite me or something, I’m fine. I heard the head cheerleader asked you out — isn’t that perfect? two campus heartthrobs together? You guys would be the talk of campus and the envy of many.”

Despite the praises, he could feel his heart sank. While it was not an explicit rejection, your nonchalance, for the second time, pricked him. Not one to be emotional, he plastered a smile as he slowly let your hand go, “Yeah, I guess.”

“Oh no, crap, I’m sorry Jay,” you sank in your seat as you stared at him in disbelief. No wonder, he looked so taken aback that night, you thought, and how cold he was the next day. “You know what, yeah I’m definitely dense — I think I traded my social skills for good grades. You can tease me with that all you want, I won’t even try to defend myself anymore.”

“Well, on the bright side, flirtations from others can’t get through to you — you’re like a fortress or something,” Jay chuckled, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry though really,” you bit your lip, apologetic, “What can I do to make it up to you? Oh you know what — that Michelin-starred restaurant that just opened up in the corner? How about I’ll treat you there for tomorrow? It’ll break my wallet but if it will unbreak what I’ve done to you -- I’d gladly commit to the splurge.”

“Oh come on, I’m not that materialistic,” Jay scoffed, “Do you mean it though, that you’ll do anything?”

“Absolutely,” you nodded, “Within moral and ethical bounds, that is.”

Suddenly Jay extended his hand towards you, beckoning you to take it. 

“You’re not dragging me to the ball right now right?” you took his hand and he pulled you up to your feet, leading you towards a more spacious area, “We’re underdressed for it Jay. I mean look at me, I’m decked in monochrome -- I basically look like I’m mourning.”

He chuckled as he pulled out his AirPods case, taking out one and gently inserting it into your ear before inserting the other pair into his, “Don’t worry, there are no dress codes for our own private ball.”

Soft music started to play through the AirPods, it was “Best Part” by Daniel Caesar ft. H.E.R. “Just dance along with me alright? I don’t need to be splurged on,” Jay’s hand slowly snaked over your back, pulling you close to him as he carefully yet smoothly guide you to the melody of the music.

“Well, gotta warn you though,” you smiled sheepishly, “I’m bad at this so don’t sue me if I step on your Pradas.”

“Fine, exclusively for tonight, I’ll put my Pradas at risk,” he quipped, his eyes glued onto yours, “Say, if you had known that I was serious — would you have said ’yes’ to me?”

You looked up, meeting his warm gaze which somehow, perhaps due to the proximity, was making your heart skip a beat, “I think so? I mean, I hate crowds but you would usually make me forget that I was in one. Also, you’ve always said yes to all of my weird adventures so I always feel like I need to repay you back in-kind if the opportunity arises.”

Despite always trying to keep his composure in the face of any nerve-wrecking  moment, Jay failed this time as he feel his smile widened while his heart raced uncontrollably. He couldn’t exactly pinpointed why: was it your sudden heart-fluttering words; was it the proximity; was it the the warmth that he could feel on both hands; was it the atmosphere; was it the fireworks that was starting to set off outside; or was it just you?

Suddenly, he thought in retrospect, he was glad that you had said “no” to him. He wouldn’t have traded the moment tonight, just you and him away from all the external noises, for a waltz in a crowded and noisy ballroom, even with all the glitz and glamour that it offers. In fact, tonight best represented what you meant to him, like that of an oasis in a desert, your presence alone is enough for him even if he has to search through the highs and lows for you -- it is just you who he’ll gravitate to eventually. 

_______

Author’s note: first imagine wheee! Hope you guys like this one :3

[pigeonp0st]

Hi! Since your taking some request I was wondering if you could do one about Wonder woman x reader where the reader is insecure about her body because she is literally dating a goddess and Diana notice her being distant and always avoiding to look in a mirror. Can it be like super fluffy and all. Thx I am currently binge reading each of your imagines 🥰love you and thx again

Diana Prince x Reader #1

Words: 1918

Warnings:

Self-loathing, Self-harm (not intentionally), body dysphoria , blood. Please don’t read if any of these things will make you upset or triggered!

Notes:

You said super fluffy and my mind didn’t register it holy fuck. Uh...oops? This is really dark and i’m sorry if it’s too far from what you were hoping for. I enjoyed writing it though, so thank you for requesting. (Sorry for spelling mistakes.)

————

You aren’t jealous of her. You aren’t.

It’s just...well...Diana’s a goddess. Literally. Even people who don’t know she’s Wonder Woman would call her that without question, just based on her looks.

And you’re...you're you. You’re you so you get asked often, by dense people not intending to be rude, how you managed to get with her.

You’re you so whenever you’re in a room with her you’re practically ignored. You're you so people’s eyes always widen when you say Diana’s your girlfriend, because HOW.

How, you can tell they’re wondering. Someone like Diana deserves to be with some rich model, not you.

God...you hate this. You hate feeling this way, and you hate that it involves Diana so largely. It’s not her fault the world is the way it is, it’s not her fault you’re the way you are, but it’s hard. It’s hard looking at her and not seeing all of your imperfections mirrored on her loving face.

It’s hard to look at her, and not compare what she looks like with what you look like. It's hard looking at her and not remembering all of the ways you’re undeserving...all of the ways you're not enough.

It’s not as hard as looking in the mirror though. You can stand the sadness when you look at her because she smiles so brightly sometimes, and she’s just so loving that it’s hard to think about negative things when she starts laughing.

It’s hard believing she can’t possibly love you when she’s standing in front of you doing exactly that.

The seconds she’s gone though...the second she’s gone it comes back in full force, and lately you’ve been so overwhelmed thinking about dealing with the ‘after Diana leaves’ that you’ve been avoiding being with Diana as much as you can.

You hate it, and each time you reject her with another excuse you hate yourself just that little bit more too.

—-

You can’t avoid her ALL of the time though, and it’s not like you want to.

Diana comes to your house one day, more unsure of herself than she usually is, and looks around the room like she’s unfamiliar with it.

It hasn’t been that long since she’s been here, you don’t know why she looks so curious about—

“All of your mirrors are gone,” Diana notes, freezing you in your tracks. Then, she glances down to your wrapped hands, eyes wide. “You’re hurt,” she whispers, completely concerned now. She reaches for you but you pull away before she can touch you.

“I’m fine.” You say it through gritted teeth and with adverting eyes, and it’s so clear that you’re not.

It’s so clear that you’re not, but Diana nods her head like she believes you and wraps her arms around herself like the room just got ten times colder.

Everything feels ten times heavier suddenly, too heavy when you’ve been so tired for what feels like ages. Fuck. You just want your girlfriend, you just want your goddess. Why do you have to worry about what the rest of the world thinks?

“Diana.”

She looks up immediately, confusion lined in every inch of her. She’s clearly trying to put the puzzle piece together but she’s missing too many pieces to understand.

You wonder if she’d even be able to understand if she had all of the pieces—if she could see what was happening to you. Could Diana understand something she’s probably never heard about in her island of beautiful women? Something she’s probably never had to deal with?

You don’t say any of that though. You don’t say the words that feel like they’re ripping your insides apart. Instead, you say, sheepish; “wanna watch a movie?” Like nothing is wrong in the world, because maybe if you act like it enough it will become true.

Maybe if you act like it enough you’ll forget last night, the night where you went around shattering every mirror you owned. Some of them with the impact of the floor, and others with your fist.

Maybe if you act like picking which movie to watch is your biggest concern in life, you’ll forget about the medical bills sitting on the counter because some of the glass dug in so deep all you could see was red on your hands, and all you could feel was helpless.

Maybe—

“Sure,” Diana agrees, offering you a comforting smile.

Maybe Diana deserves more than a person that deludes themself to stay tethered

——

You’re an idiot.

Your wallpaper switched from a picture of you and Diana to a picture of just Diana a month ago, but you stupidly forgot that Diana hasn’t changed hers also.

So naturally, since the world hates you lately, Diana’s phone lights up with a call—she completely ignores it while being completely entranced in the movie—and you glance at it to see if it’s someone important, someone Diana would want to answer to.

You pay zero attention to the person who called Diana after you see the picture.

“Diana.”

You don’t register it’s your voice speaking until Diana turns to you. She couldn’t register the sound of her phone ringing but she registers the sound of your voice and you love her, you love her, you—

“Change your background.”

Diana blinks, once, twice, then; “why? I like it.”

“Diana,” you repeat, heart beating a million miles a minute, and voice several pitches higher. “Change your background.”

“Why?” Diana asks again, but it’s softer this time, softer and on the verge of seeing the puzzle even without all of the pieces.

“Because people will—” you pause, your voice hitching, “please...just change your background, please Diana, please, for fucks sakes, please just—”

“Okay,” Diana whispers hurriedly, alarmed by your desperation and quickening breaths, and pulling you into her arms. “Okay.”

But you’re not done. “Not of me, Diana,” you continue, frantically. “Don’t change it to another one of me, okay? Change it to—to something else.”

Finally—finally, Diana tenses under you, hit with a realization that’s larger than her, and larger than her beauty, and something that isn’t really actually about her, something that’s always been about you, that she happens to involuntarily bring out more because of her affect on other people.

She’s hit with the realization on a Monday night, with you still frantic and broken in her arms from just one image. She’s hit with the realization in a home with no mirrors. She’s hit with the realization with a small, quiet mumble of your hardly comprehensible words; “Diana, they’ll think you’re crazy. I don’t want you to believe your crazy for—”

“Why did you get rid of your mirrors?”

It’s your turn to tense and become silent. You even try pulling away but Diana keeps her arms around you to keep you with her (to keep you tethered, because Diana works better than any delusion). “Y/N, why did you get rid of your mirrors?” She asks again, “why are your hands wrapped? Why can we never go out together anymore? Why is your wallpaper just a picture of me and not you, why—”

“I think you should leave.”

“Why aren’t you talking to me!”

Silence. Diana let’s out a stuttering breath and then she’s pulling you closer to her, closer, closer, and whispering over, and over again, “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to yell, I'm not angry at you, you’re okay.”

And you're shaking in her arms, clutching her coat, wishing for happiness without delusions.

Then...you’re being honest, telling Diana everything between shaky breaths, and sobs.

You’re giving her the puzzle pieces, not expecting her to understand what she’s looking at, but wanting her to care about it anyways, to find it important, and something worth looking at.

Diana lets you speak even though she’s clearly against half of the things you’re saying about yourself because she wants to understand the puzzle you built while she wasn’t looking.

——

When you’re done, and all that is left is dried tears on more than one pair of cheeks, Diana finally speaks. First though, she asks that you don’t interrupt her. You agree.

“Okay,” Diana sighs, “you won’t believe me—you can’t—but I find you to be the most beautiful person in this world, and any other, in these times, and any other.”

Here, Diana is wrong. You don’t believe this to be anywhere near true about yourself, but when you meet Diana’s eyes you do believe that this is something she believes without doubt.

This is something she believes as simply as the sky being blue.

“And that’s because of what you look like on the outside, but it’s also because of who you are regardless,” she smiles at you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, eyes full of nothing but love and concern, and then pain.

“Believe it or not,” Diana starts, voice soft, “I look at you, and everything you are, and sometimes i’m the one who feels undeserving. You feel...brighter than me sometimes. More...more everything, and I—sometimes I feel like you offer more than I give,”

Diana saying that is humorous because all she has ever done is offer, she offers even now after you’ve shown her cracks she wasn’t supposed to see...you’ve come to realize though that if someone feels something to be true... then it’s true to them, and it will hurt them just the same.

“I can not change the way you see yourself, just as you cannot change the way I see you, but I…” Diana pauses, staring searchingly into your eyes until you have to look away, “I want to help you. I will do whatever I can to make you believe me, i’ll tell you as many times as you need to hear it and…” another pause, this one longer and sadder…

“I want you to look at me love you, and then when I'm gone I don’t want to be a reminder of your unworthiness, but a reminder of the worth you possess, to me—and so many others.”

“Diana…”

“It’s okay,” she assures, “for now, if you can’t believe you're physically beautiful, I'll show you all of the larger, more meaningful things about yourself until all you can see when you look in the mirror is someone who brings light into people's lives, someone who is loved. Someone who is great.”

And you're crying again now, but this time Diana is the one talking. She is reassuring you, and she’s showing you puzzle pieces, except this puzzle is another one, this puzzle isn’t about the way you see yourself, it’s about the way she sees you, it’s about the way people who matter to you see you, and even the ones that don’t.

This puzzle is larger than the one you showed her, and from the pieces you allow yourself to see, the pieces you’re able to accept right now, it’s a more beautiful one.

For the first time in a long time, you can imagine believing all of the things she tells you. You can imagine it, and when you do you’re sobbing even harder, because yes. Yes, that is what you want.

Diana will be there by your side on the journey to love, like she was there to the last ‘love journey’...but this one isn’t about loving her, it’s about loving you exactly as you are.

Who better to get you to love yourself than the person who loves you most?

[ireallylikejonouchi]

𝙽𝚞𝚛𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚑𝚢𝚘𝚗 𝚗𝚘 𝙼𝚊𝚐𝚘 𝚁𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠

Written and drawn by Shiibashi Hiroshi, Nurarihyon no Mago is a manga series that ran in Weekly Shonen Jump with 210 chapters, 25 volumes. It’s about a Japan that has a massive Yokai underbelly, consisting mostly of yokai yakuza clans that run certain parts of Japan. The protagonist, Rikuo Nura, is the third heir of the Nura clan, kingpin of Kanto. His grandfather is the legendary Lord of Pandemonium, the yokai Nurarihyon, but Rikuo is only a quarter yokai, having a half-human father and a full human mother. As a child, Rikuo thinks yokai are the coolest thing, but his classmates mock him for this, not believing that they exist, and finding it even weirder that someone could admire them. Rikuo is told that it is his destiny to take on this role, and that he cannot live a human life. Hearing stories about evil yokai who enjoy making humans despair, Rikuo decides that yokai are terrible and he wants nothing to do with them. When Rikuo’s classmates are attacked by some rebellious yokai from the Nura clan, who are unhappy about their new leader being a quarter-human child, Rikuo awakens to his yokai blood and transforms in order to defeat them. He decides here that he will become the third heir in order to subdue yokai that would bring terror to humans with his “Fear,” the power system of the series.

With the synopsis out of the way, from this point on there will be spoilers. Be wary. I’ll try my best to spoil only what’s necessary in order to get my point across.

The beginning of this manga takes its time setting up character dynamics with short story arcs, as well as establishing what the yokai of the world are truly like with various examples of opinionated yokai antagonists. Some consider it boring, and I can understand why, but I think it pays off very well. The characters are incredibly likeable and fun. Even the ones that don’t have very much development are still a joy to see on the page when they show up. Rikuo himself is simultaneously a complicated character and a very easy character to follow. The first chapter takes place a couple of years before the second one, and his childish judgement to go from worshiping yokai to hating them is intentionally so. The story is about his growth. Rikuo is told that he must take on this role, he denies, but eventually accepts under his own terms, and for his own reasons. This ultimately sets up what his character arc will end up becoming, as one of his final conflicts at the end of the story sees him battling against another half-yokai, Abe no Yoshihira, who believes it is his duty to follow his evil father’s plan because of his "cursed” mixed blood. Rikuo doesn’t simply reject this title, but he also doesn’t accept out of obligation. He accepts this as an opportunity to bring about change. The change he wants slowly evolves from protecting humans to bridging the social gap between human and yokai so that they may find peace together. Fate shouldn’t be fought against or ignored, but you must make whatever you can out of it. Rikuo feels that connecting human and yokai is something only he can do as a half-yokai, so he feels a responsibility to carry this out, yet it is also what he truly believes in and wants. He is a leader because he was graced with the opportunity to bring about a better world. Your fate is only what you perceive it as. The final villain Abe no Seimei believes that human and yokai are fated to be at odds forever, and that influences his evil plan to purify the world. Both are believers of fate to some extent, the message isn’t something as simple as “defy fate” or “there is no fate,” which I appreciate. This manga is very good about exploring all facets of the themes it presents, which I will give more examples of shortly.

The power system is an interesting one. To quote the wiki, “ Osore (畏, Fear) is the term that denotes the unique skills and traits of each yōkai. It refers to the "fear" of the unknown, an emotional reaction produced when the yōkai represent themselves as "monsters". As yōkai first existed as creatures who induce fear in humankind, the general concept of "fear" revolves around being feared and respected by humans and making them feel small and weak. It involves exerting a wall of pressure to make one's presence feel larger than the actuality. When done correctly, this also creates a change in the mood and surrounding air - as seen whenever a dense fog appears when a Hyakki Yakō gathers in the series. Itaku states that Osore only applies to scaring humans.“ Fear is an inherently negative word, especially when associated with demons. However, Rikuo is proud of his fear, despite scolding yokai who scare humans. Fear in this manga is not quite so black and white. Rikuo’s form of fear is reverence, admiration. He considers this to be a form of fear, and he is indeed proud of the awe he is able to inspire within his followers as well as his enemies. Rikuo is able to use a power that comes only thanks to his human side, letting a yokai haunt his humanity while keeping control with his yokai half, performing Equip and gaining that yokai’s powers, but only if they entrust themselves to him. It is the ultimate representation of the Fear that Rikuo believes in. For the core power system of the series to have such a double meaning about it speaks to the coming complexities, and it is incredibly fitting for this story, as I hope to convey.

Fate, lineage and connection to history are the main themes of this manga. Many of the characters in the story are tied to tradition before it starts, and have to be brought out of that by Rikuo and his progressive mindset. One’s blood is used to portray this theme in an interesting way. Rikuo’s father, Rihan, describes him as a symbol of hope for the future. Rihan longed for a world where human and yokai could get along, yet he came into constant conflict with both evil yokai and evil humans, as his son Rikuo would soon come to do as well. Rikuo loved his father, and carries on his dreams. However, similar to his “fate” of leading the clan, his respect for his ancestors is well-informed by his individual beliefs, and not from any kind of feeling that he MUST do what his ancestors wished. Abe no Yoshihira failed here, becoming a slave to his perceived fate. Hagoromo-gitsune, the main antagonist of the Kyoto arc as well as Abe no Seimei’s mother, was tied to her blood relations as well. She did everything for her son, who was soon to be reborn again into this age. She had her own image of an ideal world, erasing humans and making a world full of yokai, but she didn’t consider her child’s ideals, which she could have presumed from Seimei’s suffering he received when both human and yokai betrayed him. Seimei is born and casts Hagoromo-gitsune into hell, declaring that he will purify all life from the world, as neither human nor yokai can be trusted. Abe no Seimei is the agent of fate, declaring that all living things on Earth have doomed themselves to a fate of death thanks to their own horrible and greedy nature. Abe no Seimei is a half-yokai himself and he has found solace from neither of those sides. Rikuo, however, does not give up. He equips himself with the true fear of this reality that places him in-between two worlds, unable to fully enjoy life as a human or a yokai, refusing to resign himself as Seimei did, and instead fighting against the fate Seimei enforces by bringing together humans and yokai, including Hagoromo-gitsune, in order to seal the final blow against him.

You may be wondering what it means that Rikuo was able to finish off Seimei by fusing with his mother. Well, you see, Hagoromo-gitsune is sort of, in a way, Rikuo’s mother as well. You see, before Rihan had a child with Rikuo’s mother, he was married to another woman, Yamabuki-otome. For context, Abe no Seimei is a man who reincarnates throughout generations, as does his mother, Hagoromo-gitsune. Some time after Yamabuki-otome’s death, Seimei used her to take revenge on Rihan for disrupting his plans, by reviving her as a child and turning her into the host of the yokai Hagoromo-gitsune, sending her with false memories and subliminal orders to kill the man she loved when she was alive. Once she had killed Rihan, her human self hid itself away in despair and Hagoromo-gitsune was able to take control of her body for good. In modern times, after being cast into hell by Abe no Seimei, she is revived by Nurarihyon in anticipation for the final battle. After encountering Rikuo and his burning feelings in Kyoto, she had regained her human memories before being struck down by Seimei. Upon her most recent revival, she found she had feelings for both Rikuo and Seimei, and considers both to be her children. She regrets that her feelings for Seimei had ended up being met with treachery, and she goes to confront him. When she hears his full plan, she decides to do kill him herself, though she fails. She feels it her duty as a mother to make up for not understanding his suffering earlier, as it’s now too late to reason with him. Hagoromo-gitsune’s progression comes from her ability to find love for her yokai followers, considering them to be her children all the same as Rikuo and Seimei, and learns that she should have seen this love all along rather than being blinded by her obsessions with her blood son. Once again, she values her children and the blood she shares with them, but she is only able to find happiness when she realizes that the feelings she has for them don’t have to be restricted to only them simply because they are her kin, and similarly she does not need to follow Seimei’s plan just because she thinks it’s what a mother “should” do. Fusing with Rikuo is the culmination of this. While Rikuo is technically her kin, as Seimei is, we see through her arc that she has matured and learned to spread her love. So even though without context it would seem that she simply went from one child to the other, we can see the complexities of this and see how it relates to Rikuo’s arc, accepting something not out of obligation, but from your own will. 

By coming to a true understanding with the woman that Abe no Seimei had discarded, his mother, and her doing the same, an act that seemingly defies their fates (Rikuo’s fate to be a cold yokai ruler and Hagoromo’s fate to be a slave to her child’s whims), they’re able to defeat him and sever fate itself.

The Hundred Stories Clan Arc is one that I really appreciate for showing me how truly interesting Rikuo was as a character. I hadn’t realized it up to that point, and it’s clear why. His characterization and progression is subtle. The text doesn’t tell you how Rikuo grows, the art and his actions do. When humanity told of Rikuo’s half-yokai status is convinced that he must be killed for the safety of Japan, Rikuo is forced to face the fact that the humans he wants to protect are not perfect, and have as many imperfections as yokai do. Humans can be greedy, they can do horrible things when they’re afraid. In a backstory, the leader of the Hundred Stories Clan is shown to be a despicable human from Japanese history named Sanmoto Gorozaemon, who takes control of yokai to secure his political and social power, and turns himself into a yokai in order to secure that power. When a member of his clan is assaulted by humans who don’t care about the harm they’re causing, some of them even reveling in it, through facial expressions we can see him struggling with the thought of killing these humans to end the conflict, or out of revenge possibly. Shiibashi leaves this to the reader’s interpretation and it works wonders, he has no internal monologue relating to this feeling and nobody points out that he seems crazed or anything. It’s some panels that you could easily miss if you’re reading too fast.

In this panel, we are shown his reaction to a female yokai appearing and tormenting the humans that were tormenting him and his clanmate just moments ago. Even when he showed such rage at the humans, seemingly almost snapping, he decides he needs to stop the yokai from killing them. However, the expression on his face conveys perfectly how complex his emotions are over this. Despite how confidently he’s saying he needs to save them, his face almost looks like he doesn’t want to. Of course, he overcomes this and saves them for the sake of his dream.

It’s clear to see the moral dilemma he’s going through and it’s conveyed entirely through art and subtext. This is confident storytelling, and not to mention incredible artistry. Shiibashi has a certain maturity and respect for the reader that is hard to find in Shonen Jump manga sometimes.

Rikuo’s fight against the yokai artist Kyosai in this arc is notable for being similar to what I just described from the beginning of the arc.

Kyosai has an interest in turning human women into yokai using his painting techniques, including one of Rikuo’s classmates. Enraged, Rikuo engages him in combat with his newly acquired Attack Mode, which switches his Fear from a defensive technique to an offensive one, and changes his hair from white with black underneath it to having half of his hair being black on one side and the other being white. As the fight progresses, Rikuo is continuously injured and decomposed by Kyosai’s abilities, burning his flesh and scarring Rikuo black.

Rikuo’s deteriorating mental state during this arc is conveyed visually through his design, with both the way he is inked as well as his literally evolving design, his new transformation. He’s never had to confront these kinds of humans and yokai before. This leveling of suffering is new to our middle school-aged protagonist. After Kyosai is defeated, his momentary rage subsides but he is still scarred, physically and mentally. Encho, the acting leader of the Hundred Stories Clan, betrays Sanmoto’s reincarnated brain for personal gain, confusing Rikuo who is already in a fragile mental state. He struggles to comprehend the enemy, as he had been forced to face humans that he wanted to protect, yokai that despised those humans, and even his own best friends. Once again, exclusively visually conveyed and up to interpretation.

At the end of this arc, he accepts the help of his friends, his aide Yuki-Onna, and equips with her, washing himself of the stress he’s in and covering him in a beautiful veil of ice. His design goes back to normal in order to show this, and get across just how much his friends mean to him, in a truly impactful way that really strengthens the theme by giving real weight to his connection with both his yokai and human lives.

Every arc is strong in its own way, I simply wanted to discuss the few that best show what I’m trying to say. I hope you now understand why I love this manga so much and why I think you should read it. I promise the things I’ve spoiled here are only a fragment of the whole experience, and your appreciation will only grow as you experience the full context by reading the manga. If I got across what I wanted to, then you understand that this manga cannot be explained as much as it can be experienced. There are probably more things that I never noticed, maybe you’ll discover those before I do.

This manga is an ode to the future, to humanity. We can overcome our differences and coexist. Perhaps all it takes is for one person to take the fear that we as people feel in our daily lives onto themselves. The fear that there can never be change, the fear that our road only ends in sadness. The fear that our history defines us. The fear that we must conform to our duty. The fear that accepting a duty strips us of individuality. The fear that we can never bring these conflicting aspects of our mind together and find inner peace. The fear that we can never bring the conflicting aspects of people together and find true peace amongst ourselves. Not many people can overcome that fear, but he who is truly strong is he who equips that fear. He who takes that uncertainty of the future and uses it to empower himself and push for that change he wishes to see. This review is my ode to the man who was able to understand what makes people who they are and didn’t let that fear consume him. The man who equips true fear. Thank you for reading.

[maaji-maji-majima]

some kissing hcs for Majima?(if u can make it nsfw)

So I'm in a weird place with this. I don't want to leave you unanswered but I know you won't like the answer that I give. It has been a long time since I was active on tumblr and I'm not sure when along the timeline headcanon became synonymous with fanfiction. I appreciate fanfiction authors for their creativity, but I am not one myself. I use headcanon in the older definition of "this isn't in the source material, but it is true in my brain". They are either random things my half asleep mind thought of while walking home from work or a character analysis. At the same token your ask had crawled into my brainmeats and won't leave. So again, I apologize that this most definitely is not what you're looking for, but I hope someone out there finds this to be an interesting read.

Without further introduction, here is a character analysis of our favorite pansexual, gender fluid, emotionally stunted goblin in regards to relationships and why the he desperately needs therapy as brought to you by a different pansexual, gender fluid, emotionally stunted goblin who got therapy but probably needs more.

Trigger warnings: Abuse, self harm, mental disorders, poor coping strategies, unhealthy relationships, random tense changes, not fanfiction

Spoilers for the whole franchise, but very specifically for 0, K1, and 5.

Abuse does weird things to people's brains. In Yakuza 0 Majima has barely been out of the hole for a year. He might no longer be suffering the actual physical torture he had been subjected to the year prior, but he is still directly in the hands of his abusers and being watched every moment. He is still in a cage even if it doesn't look like one. He is depressed and likely suicidal, but doesn't follow through with those thoughts because he is determined to make sure Saejima has a home to come back to. He is willing to endure just about anything to allow Saejima a chance to exact that final moment of retribution because Saejima is the one who deserves it and Majima doesn't feel that there is any possibility for forgiveness. In all likelihood he hasn't sought out anyone for a hookup or paid company for an evening due to a combination of not feeling like he deserves anything that feels good and the fact that he's constantly being watched. The year in hole means he no longer really has a concept of privacy, but he's worried that getting close to someone, even for a few moments, could put them in danger if Sagawa or Shimano feels like holding something else over his head. It isn't worth accidentally dragging someone into his own personal hell. He no longer lives for the present, he is only living for that far-off future that he hopes isn't just a pipe dream.

Enter Makoto. At first she is a stand-in for Saejima's sister Yasuko, but it morphs rapidly from there. She is the light and kindness and hope that he hasn't seen in years and she's being dragged into his bullshit. He knows in his heart of hearts that she doesn't deserve what she is being forced into, so his mind snaps into the immediate and does everything he possibly can to save her. This is is the hill he wants to die on. Maybe, just maybe, he can end his miserable existence with a final act of good and he feels that Saejima might just be able to understand. But because he no longer has any relationships in his life that are not strictly professional or the abusers he cannot escape, he has little recollection of what a nuanced relationship or even friendship is any longer. Due to circumstance she is also the only person that he cannot keep at arm's length, no matter how desperately he tries. So he falls for her and falls hard. But in the end, after everything they go through he does the impossible. He lets her go. She has a life and a future, whereas he has neither of those. What would she do? Become his ane-san? Have some temporary happiness before she realizes she has a target on her back for the rest of her life? No. Majima believes she deserves so much more than that even though it hurts him deeply. What is one more hurt on top of everything else? He's gotten extremely good at burying his pain.

Getting to Tokyo flips a switch in Majima's brain. Like many people with mental trauma who don't have access to therapy he falls into excess as a way of self medicating. He fits virtually everything on the hedonism checklist. Drinking? Yeah. Violence? Hell yeah! Promiscuity? Yeah, but I ain't judging. Drugs? Probably, even though it isn't explicitly stated in game. Everything from his shift in personality to his wardrobe has become, intentionally or not, a defense mechanism. He has escaped from all of his abusers except for Shimano and he refuses to allow anyone to gain that kind of power over him again.

It is a double edged sword, however. His depression and PTSD are running unchecked. In all likelihood he hasn't fallen hard on vices as a way to reclaim ownership off his own body. Instead it seems more probable that he is dissociating. After everything he has been through he doesn't care what happens to his body in the long run because it isn't actually his anymore. Risky behavior, which is practically Majima's middle name, is also frequently used as a passive form of self harm because the end result is either temporarily feeling better thanks to endorphins and adrenaline or permanently feeling better after embracing death. He could achieve a similar feeling by taking up jogging and chasing a runners high, but that takes more time and energy than chugging a handle of whiskey or goading some chump into throwing hands. Sadly even now admitting to mental problems by seeking help is fairly stigmatized in Japan and it was only worse in the early 90s. Can't have a problem if no one tells you it's there, right?

Then he meets Mirei. She's intense but not wild like Majima. At that moment in time she is everything he needs. Head strong, domineering, and very, very determined. She knows exactly what buttons to press to wrap him right around her finger. And he lets her take the reigns, lets her run his life because he realizes he was doing a terrible job on his own. Better her than Shimano, right? Doing something wrong results in the cold shoulder instead of a vicious beating, and doing something right leads to more than simply the relief of avoiding a beating. He decides that making her happy is enough to make him happy. Until suddenly it isn't. He never wanted to be a father, but even the idea that he could have been was enough to cause a fundamental shift in his entire outlook on life. He could have had someone to live for, instead of just survive for. But he had no say in the matter and didn't know until the decision had been made for him. When Mirei told him she had an abortion he snapped. He hit her. The one and only time he raised his hands against her. Disgusted with himself, and wounded by her decision, he left. If he was capable of that, he knew couldn't be the person she had been trying to mold him into. He realized he was nothing but a weight around her neck dragging her down. And so that day signals the end of their short marriage. He spends the next several decades drowning in guilt for his actions while still resenting her for her choice.

That leaves us with Kiryu. Poor, oblivious Kiryu. Majima's fixation is multifaceted but in no small part due to the fact that Kiryu is one of the few people strong enough to hurt him, but is the only one that doesn't want to. And Majima just doesn't understand. After everything, he only deserves to hurt, right? Saejima, Yasuko, Makoto, Mirei. Everyone who gets too close to him ends up worse for it, so why won't Kiryu and his sense of honor seek justice on their behalf? So he does everything he possibly can to wind up Kiryu enough to Pay Attention Damnit, Fight Me. But Kiryu's response is always just flustered awkwardness because he doesn't want like fighting, it's just a part of his job, like wearing a suit or answering a phone. To Kiryu fighting isn't a thing done because it's enjoyable, it's done because it has to be. But he's still the only one who doesn't flinch when Majima brandishes a knife inches from his face.

And then Kiryu is arrested and in jail for ten years. And ten years is a long time to build someone up onto a pedestal. Like only wanting to talk about the best of a person after they've died. The same thing happened with Saejima. Build them in his mind to what he wants or needs them to be since they are not there to actively correct it. The decade is pretty miserable, going through the motions and trying to not make waves with the bigwigs while terrifying the minions into obedience. When he hears Kiryu is being released it is like waking up again. He all but waits at the taxi stand at the entrance of Kamurocho on the day of Kiryu's release, all but vibrating with excitement. It's a fight he has been waiting on for a decade, too bad it was little more than a disappointment.

So Majima decides to bring him back up to spec in that very Majima flavored way. Small fights, big fights, surprise fights. Kiryu is still reluctant because he doesn't have a reason beyond Majima's dreamed up training program he doesn't actually want to be a part of. Of course this only leads Majima to do everything possible to get under Kiryu's skin, including sharing his personal vulnerabilities while disguising them as jokes just to cause fights, but Kiryu just kind of rolls with it which leads to confusion and frustration on both sides. After a while Majima starts to get into Kiryu's hobbies, like pocket circuit, ostensibly as another form of picking a fight. And he discovers he actually enjoys a lot of it. And they are both too dense and emotionally stunted to realize they're basically dating at this point. At multiple points Majima takes potentially lethal blows meant for Kiryu and the excuse that he is the only one allowed to kill Kiryu is very, very thin. He just can't quite admit out loud that he doesn't want to see Kiryu truly hurt because that's weakness and he is Not Weak (tm).

Shimano's death and Kiryu's departure from the clan come as a whirlwind that destroys him all over again. He's left directionless. So he leaves the Tojo in an attempt to find his own way in the world, for the first time in over twenty years.

I think I need to call it here for now. I know I've left out Saejima and Daigo, among others, but I've been working on this for days and my progress has been eaten twice and I just don't have the energy to keep going right at this time. Maybe some day in the future I'll find the time and energy to write out the rest for all the other games.

tl;dr What Majima wants and what he needs are two different things. He wants to fightfuck, but he needs to be bear hugged into submission so that he can have that mental breakdown he's been carefully bottling up for over thirty years. He needs a good, ugly cry. And therapy. Lots and lots of therapy.

[fatalism-and-villainy]

Nobody asked for a Qi Ye reaction post but here one is nonetheless (at almost 1500 words.... hello.)

[~spoilers~]

One of the first things I can say is that I love love LOVE Priest’s writing style. It’s hard to say how much of this is a translation thing, because I did get the vibe that this translation was a lot smoother and better than the other cnovel translations I happen to have read. But god!! Her style is very densely allusive, and a challenge to follow at times, but so so beautiful. The story’s narration also shifts perspective a lot in the middle of chapters, which gives it this almost cinematic bird’s eye effect for me (except with internal-emotional states more than visuals). I can see it being the kind of thing that might bother people, but I love it – and I think that it ties in with the themes about the ephemerality and impermanence of life, and the way these little moments are all part of a much bigger sphere of existence.

I also like the way she does humour more than MXTX, honestly? I find the slapstick humour in MXTX’s works to be overdone and distracting from the other story and characterization work going on in her works. Whereas here, the humour landed more and also felt like it tied in more with the actual development of character and themes. Like, for instance, Liang Jiuxiao’s battle with the sable wherein he gets scratched every time and exhausts Beiyuan’s entire supply of antidote – it’s over the top, but also genuinely funny to me, AND I feel the comedic setup of Liang Jiuxiao constantly being an unwanted visitor contrasts very well with the entire heartbreaking scenario involving Beiyuan drugging him for Zhou Zishu, as well as his general progression from a Pure of Heart, Dumb of Ass archetype to being completely shattered by the evil and corruption in the world.

(The Sex and Kissing stuff is also, imo, more sensual and generally hotter to me than MXTX’s stuff – not trying to pick on her specifically, she’s just my only point of comparison for these novels.)

The main romance is ehhh… Mixed Feelings? I loved Wu Xi in all the parts he wasn’t playing the role of “love interest who expresses their love via violent jealousy”, but the parts where he WAS…. woof. Like, I don’t necessarily mind jealousy when it’s internal sensations, or when it’s a very intentionally fucked up dynamic, but I like it less so when it’s couple who’s riding off into the sunset and are the only foil to the general aura of melancholy and sadness in a story? Really hope that’s a one-off specific piece of characterization and not a general Thing for Priest…

I did actually like the gradual development of Beiyuan’s feelings, and the way there’s no Big Moment of Realization – or rather, there is a moment of realization, but it’s not super dramatic, it’s just sort of settling into something that’s been there awhile.

Another problem with their relationship for me though, I think, is how rushed the denouement of the book is, and how many important things are glossed over. Like, okay, they’re riding off into the sunset, but are they actually going to talk about the fact that Beiyuan seduced Wu Xi for Deception Purposes and then drugged him…? Taking advantage of Wu Xi’s very earnest and intense feelings in the process? Like, they stay in the capital for three months of negotiations before they leave, all while Wu Xi hides Beiyuan in his house – there must have been conversations and Relationship Negotiations? And yet we don’t See any of that, we’re just treated to them riding off in a carriage with some cheeky little line about how Beiyuan has the rest of his life to make things up to Wu Xi (presumably by having rough sex)… like ok.

The racism… there was a lot of it in the presentation of Nanjiang! I think the thing that stood out to me though was the line about Wu Xi’s having a kind of intuitive understanding of how people are (an intuition attributed to children, even!) despite not being cultured – it slots so perfectly into the kind of colonial propaganda that posits colonized people as having this innate, intuitive understanding of the world or connection with nature or what have you – but of course they’re not mature, they’re not cultured, they don’t have the capacity for rationality, that we do. To be fair, the line I’m thinking of is also applied to Liang Jiuxiao, but it is of a piece with how Nanjiang is characterized throughout the novel – like, oh, they’re so simple! When they like someone they just get married! It’s presented as a romantic ideal, but in a way that portrays Nanjiang as being Simple and Rustic and lacking the cultural complexity of the Great Qing. (Especially since we b a r e l y see the country or its people on the page.)

(Not to mention the way Wu Xi’s bodyguards from Nanjiang are portrayed as being confused and grossed out by him being in love with a man – contrasted with the commentary about how commonplace sex between men is in the Great Qing. Feels very like Nanjiang gets cast as less “enlightened”?)

I think those elements are also part of why the romance doesn’t fully stick its landing for me – because Wu Xi does take in and consider Great Qing cultural stuff, and incorporate it into his worldview alongside the influence of his home culture – and we don’t see Beiyuan doing something similar in return. He wants to leave for Nanjiang in part because he’s exhausted with capital politics and wants freedom, but why Nanjiang specifically? What does the country mean to him? How’s he actually going to fit in there? (This is another thing that also could have been filled in more with more actual writing about what goes down after that final battle.)

I honestly was deeply moved by Helian Yi. I shed literal tears for that man on multiple occasions. I do feel like I would have benefitted from more actual exploration of his past life-relationship with Beiyuan? Because as it was, I felt like that aspect of Beiyuan’s characterization was kind of informed rather than fleshed out – what did he see in Helian Yi in the first place? And I think the unrequited love would have been more poignant if we’d had more flashbacks to when it was requited.

Also, the possible-incest reveal?? What even was the point of that…? (I know people have posited that that’s why Helian Yi originally had Beiyuan killed, but with that final deleted-on-JJWXC extra I feel like it’s meant to be that he thought Beiyuan was responsible for Su Qingluan’s death. Another thing that should have been elaborated on, plot-wise…)

In general, the ending was very rushed. It gave me distinct “project due the next day” vibes.

ZHOU ZISHU!!!! – my main emotional engagement with this, tbh. I loved what was done with him, loved getting to see more of the atrocities he was behind (haha), loved the chilling “ends justify the means” ideological track he was on, loved how enmeshed he was in Hierarchy and political intrigue and how Carefully he handled himself around his social superiors… yeah.  

I am also…. Also losing my mind over the entire Vibe between Zhou Zishu and Liang Jiuxiao. Misplaced devotion… broken pedestals… weird subtextual hard-to-define Feelings... selfishly wanting to hide the worst parts of yourself from someone…. Ahhhhh it’s good. Love those intricate complex homoerotic friendships. If there Exists any fic (whether platonic or less so) that anyone wants to rec… pls do 👀

I have to say, another problem I had with the ending was that I don’t think the tonal dissonance was well-balanced. Like, there’s a very melancholy atmosphere for pretty much everyone except the main couple, and I do understand that their getting away from the capital is the only thing that engenders that happiness (as a big theme of the book is that the politicking in the capital is exhausting and demoralizing – and to my understanding that is similar to the themes at work in Faraway Wanderers.) But I don’t feel as though those two streams were working in communication with each other in the final chapters – I would say that the cutesy scenes with the main couple just felt jarring in contrast to the sadness and regret that permeated the rest of the narrative. I think perhaps they were too saccharine, rather than emphasizing escape and looking forward to different possibilities? I’m not sure. (It also seems questionable to present Nanjiang as an Escape, given that Wu Xi is in charge now?? They’re still right in the thick of politics?) Anyway, this all is why I like the placement of that final extra at the end of the narrative, because it Is a turning back to melancholia that I like to see during nominal happy endings.

[luvreyn]

My Manga List (2019) Part 1

So many beautiful reads this year! The theme for part one is isekai, reincarnation, time travel and etc types of stories so carry on ~

I Swear I Won’t Bother You Again!

Summary:

Violette, daughter of a duke, committed a terrible, jealous crime against her half-sister. As she languishes in prison, something unexpected happens: time is rewound, sending her back to the day her problems began! Armed with the memories of her disastrous first go-round, Violette is determined to live a quiet, unobtrusive life…but fate has something else in store!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 5/5

- art style = 5/5

- ngl but this is one of the well written isekai/time travel stories for me hence the ratings

- you would actually emphatize with the mc (violette) despite her earlier actions bcuz her intentions/motivations are clear

- the ml treats the mc so well

- they are all good looooking

- the ml and the friend/maid of the mc is very supportive

- you will hate the villains (there’s no actual villain tbh, just random ppl who makes her life harder intentionally or not intentionally like the prince and the sister)

- the mc is aware of her wrong doings and she’s trying to change that yay

- good looking character designs hihihi

- yulan x violette

- anyway, more than a romance. this actually kinda focuses more on the mc’s road to changing with romance? sparkling it. Romance is not her priority, it’s not even on the list so it’s going to take some time before mc and ml get together

- to conclude: read this if you want a good, slow burn type of story with aesthetically pleasing to the eyes characters

The Result of Being Reincarnated is Having a Master-Servant Relationship with the Yandere Love Interest

Summary:

I was reborn as a Viscount's daughter, Cecil, in a very unexpected otome game where all of the love interests are Yanderes. However, Cecil, being the rival character in the game, was killed in every route by the chosen love interest. Furthermore, wishing to have a long life, Cecil meets Ashley who will be her servant and... he's one of the Yandere love interests...?!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- the title is so long it basically revealed the theme of the story lmao

- mc is dense in a cute kind of way

- plot = 3/5

- art style = 4/5

- the ml... hmmm... ngl but his appearance on the recent chap is not doing it for me (spoiler: consent is important my friends)

- interesting and promising story line bcuz how much is the truth about the otome game

- the ml was - is very cute

- side characters are okay especially the president who is like the one person who’s thinking straight cause YANDARES ARE DANGEROUS OKAY

- overall, the plot and the art style is decent read although bit nervous and reluctant bcuz almost all the characters are yandare. the relationship between the ml and mc is cute too, and the story has potential

I was Reincarnated, and now I'm a maid!

Summary:

Yulia is reincarnated in a world set before the start of an otome game. She started working as a maid in the castle, but she is serving the princess who appears as a villain in the game! "I won't let this cute princess become a villain!" Rumored as a tough, impregnable maid, she herself will make sure to show the princess happiness! She will use her knowledge of her previous life and the life of magic to change the future of the game is what she thought, but for some reason, a knight who showed interest in her appears! Not taking falling in love into consideration, follow this talented maid through her fantasy!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- the title speaks for itself lmao

- plot = 3/5 bcuz it has only like 1 chap so i cant be sure but it has a cute and promising start

- art style = 4/5

- basically the mc is so cute bcuz she just wants to protect her masterr and future villain of the otome game

- to end, i can’t say much but it has a really promising and interesting start w/ a touch of mystery since idk if the romance is gonna be relevant.

Sengoku Vamp

Summary:

Our protagonist, Hisaki has time slipped 450 years back to the Sengoku Era! Upon arrival she is greeted by Miyoshi Nagayoshi, a vampire. What on earth will happen to her now? Vampires, warriors, and a high school girl; a forbidden love though time begins!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- v a m p i r e s

- plot = 3.5/5

- art style = 5/5

- the mc is super cute

- bunch of mysteries

- the ml kinda reminds me of miyamura from horimiya idk why

- cute and promising

- overall, if you had a thing for vampires and twilight saga then you’re also gonna enjoy this.

The Reborn Witch Foretells Destruction

Summary:

High school student Sena Shirai is just about to leave behind her shut-in lifestyle and join the outside world, when she becomes the victim of a traffic accident. When she opens her eyes, she's somehow been reborn into a fantasy world! However, everyone around her fears her as a witch, so she reverts to her former habits and lives a lonely life in the woods, until one day when... a young man comes to see the witch?!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 5/5

- art style = 5/5

- this one is high on my list hence the ratings hehehe

- few chaps but the story is promising and leaves a lot of room for twists bcuz it has m a g i c involve

- the ml treats the mc so well i mean he cooks and didnt invalidate her!!

- mc is so cuteee and i love how she gushes about things she likes

- the predicament of the mc is understandable

- m a g i c

- m y s t e r y

- overall, read this bcuz it’s awesome and one of the few reincarnation/time travel/isekai type of story hihih the art style is so pretty and even the plot. the characters are also likeable

[ironwoman359]

EMBARRASSING PHASES: The Endcard and what it means.

Greetings Guys, Gals, and Non-Binary Pals! Tis I, Taylor, resident theorist and Screenshot Queen, here to talk about the endcard to the latest Sanders Sides video! This endcard was short, but it had a lot of information squeezed inside it that I’m really excited to unpack! Now, there are a lot of different theories that could be based on this information, but for this post, I’m going to try and stay away from speculation (as much as possible, anyway) and stick with what we can safely say for sure is canon based on the data provided and using deductive reasoning, and deliver my own personal theory as to what’s happening storywise at the end.

Without further ado, the game is on!

SO, our main dilemma with this whole segment is that it’s hard to understand anything that comes out of Deceit’s mouth. He has a tendency to speak in opposites...but he doesn’t do so in canon the way he often so clearly does in fics. It’s more fluid, more confusing, more difficult to understand what he really means. But fortunately, we have an advantage for this analysis...we have Virgil. Virgil, who doesn’t seem to have any trouble understanding Deceit throughout the entire scene. Using his responses, things we know from past videos, things we learned in this video, and a small amount of deductive guesswork, we can piece together what exactly Deceit is hinting at at the end of this video.

We start with what seems like some typical, unfriendly banter between Virgil and Deceit, which can actually reveal a lot about their relationship.

“Very well done, Virgil.”

“You’re so...”

“...evolved.”

Once again, we get that glare from Virgil that seems to be specially reserved for Deceit. Compare the look Virgil shoots Patton when he’s worked up and stressed and Patton calls him a cutesy nickname:

To the glares he gives Deceit:

One is the exasperation you shoot a parent who, for the hundredth time, has said something embarrassing in front of your friends, the other is pure contempt.

That being said, the familiarity with which they talk to each other, in my mind at least, all but confirms our previous theories that Virgil and Deceit used to know each other very well.

“Oh, you are HILARIOUS, Virgil, you always have been!”

This line is not just said for the sake of Deceit making fun of Virgil (though I think that is his main intent here), it once again implies a familiarity between the two. I also think this is one of Deceit’s mirrored statements, he’s saying Virgil never has been the funny one (which really, he’s right. That’s not really a big part of Virgil’s character).

“What are you doing here?”

“Hm, a bunch of talk about Halloween...a season for dressing up and pretending to be something or someone else. You’re right, a master of deception such as myself has no place in that kind of discussion.”

Oooooh, this line is so fun to take apart. First off, on the surface, Deceit is saying that, because he is the embodiment of pretending to be something you’re not, he should have had a seat in the Halloween video. And while that is a point he could be making, I don’t think it’s really what he’s talking about, and I think Virgil knows that. (Remember, we’re operating under the assumption that Virgil has a lot of experience dealing with Dee, so he knows how to navigate what he’s saying. As @what-even-is-thiss​ pointed out, “We’ve now seen a full conversation with Deceit. Not only that, but both sides seemed to understand what was going on. Showing it’s possible to work past Deceit’s lying thing enough to get info out of him.”)

So what is Deceit really talking about here? Well, look at Virgil’s face when Deceit says “pretending to be something or someone else.” He rolls his eyes:

But then for a moment, he looks uneasy:

And that moment is exactly when Deceit says “something or someone else.” Besides, the video wasn’t really about Halloween, Halloween was just the catalyst for Virgil trying to get them to see why it was a big deal to him that they were ignoring his past, and also that he still has his ability to be scary (which Logan points out is important to his function as Anxiety).

No, the video is about phases, and how they shape you as a person. And if Deceit was a big part of Virgil’s past phases, this could very well be his way of reminding Virgil of that past. I think that Deceit is trying to tell Virgil that, because he’s still trying to be scary, he’s not really changed in the way he says he has. “Pretending to be something or someone else” could very well be Deceit’s way of trying to tell Virgil “you’re fooling yourself if you think you’ll ever be anything more than Anxiety, if you think you can change and be better than the rest of us Dark Sides.” And then, we get Virgil’s response:

“Okay, me being able to elicit fear doesn’t take away from the fact that I’ve grown. So don’t even try me with that, Harvey Dense.”

That’s really Virgil’s whole thesis statement for this video: I can still be scary, but I’ve grown. I still was who I used to be, that was real, but I’ve moved beyond that. To Thomas and the others, the message was that they can’t pretend everything is perfect now, because that undermines everything he struggled with. But to Deceit, the message is I’ve moved on. Perhaps even a final, I don’t need you anymore.

From this video, I think it is now safe to assume that Deceit and Virgil used to work more closely together. So now since Virgil is working with the Light Sides instead, how often do you think Deceit has tried to get Virgil to come back to his old ways? What kinds of things do you think Deceit likes to whisper in Virgil’s ear? How much has Deceit been bothering Virgil since the Can LYING Be Good video? We can deduce that it has been at least somewhat regular. Because while in CLBG, Deceit compliments first Roman’s new outfit, then Virgil’s new makeup look, implying he hasn’t intentionally interacted with any of the sides since before Fitting In, when here we get this interaction:

“Clever retort! And convincing statement. And cool costume.”

“You know this is what I normally wear.”

Deceit wouldn’t know that, if the only time he’s seen Virgil recently was CLBG. Virgil had two outfits in that video, and Deceit wouldn’t know what his usual one was...unless he’s been coming around more. Unless he’s been pressuring Virgil off camera for months.

“Don’t even try that with me” implies that this is indeed the case, and that Deceit has been trying just that for awhile now. But why would Deceit be so invested in trying to convince Virgil that his change isn’t real, that his growth is just a facade? Deceit is accusing Virgil of “pretending to be something or someone else,” and why?

Because Virgil has the capability to be the most influential side out of all of them.

I think we can all agree that currently, while all four main sides have a “seat at the discussion table” as Thomas puts it, Patton, as Morality, is actually the side with the most influence, at least when it comes to Thomas’s decisions. But this video confirms something for us: That side used to be Anxiety.

When talking about his emo phase and teenage years, Thomas said that he was “terrified out of his mind” in those days, and later he tells Virgil “You work with us now. You’re not in the driver’s seat anymore...” which implies that Virgil at one point WAS in the driver’s seat.

And when you’re afraid, when you’re driven by your fears and anxieties and insecurities...isn’t it more likely that you’d listen to that voice in your head that tells you to lie? Isn’t it easier to succumb to the darker parts of your mind when you’re confused and afraid and lost? Not saying that you will, of course. Thomas certainly didn’t. But if Thomas is Anxious, I mean really Anxious, I think it stands to reason that the other Dark Sides’ power could be much more pronounced.

Thomas said something while he was talking to Patton that caught my attention:

“There’s a lot that Virgil could do that I don’t want him to do. He knows exactly how to push my buttons.”

If Virgil wanted to, he could absolutely wreck Thomas. He could wreck all of them...but the thing is he doesn’t want to. All Virgil wants, all he’s ever wanted, is to protect Thomas. And here, we come to the question of what exactly is it that a Side wants?

Simply put, every Side wants what is best for Thomas, but every Side is extremely biased in what they believe that is. For Roman, it’s creative fulfillment, for Logan, it’s a healthy lifestyle and the pursuit of growth and knowledge. For Patton, it’s a happy life built on love and kindness, and for Virgil it’s safety, both physical, mental, and social/emotional.

So what does Deceit want? He wants all the things the others want, safety, happiness, success, but he wants it done his way. He wants bliss born of ignorance, security born of secrecy, and prosperity born of lies. That’s what separates him (and I assume the other Dark Sides) from the main four, he is utterly unwilling to compromise on his desires and his methods.

And that is what also separates Virgil from the other Dark Sides, he was willing to compromise. He did see things the others’ way, and it was through that ability to see another perspective that he first decided that he must not be good for Thomas and quit, and then came the new era of him being able to work with the others successfully, on an equal footing that he’d never experienced before.

But Deceit doesn’t have that equal footing, and none of the other Dark Sides do either, because they all refuse to compromise.

Deceit, at least in my interpretation, clearly believes that he can use Virgil somehow to extend his own realm of influence over Thomas. And with that information in hand, we can try and interpret this last, and most confusing, line.

“Just be sure to keep up that personal growth, Virgil. Who knows? Maybe soon, you could be rid of us all...”

SO what does this mean? Is he speaking in an opposite? Is he telling the truth? Is half the statement true and half an opposite? Who is the “us all?” The Dark Sides? The Light Sides? It’s a lot to unpack, and is the most speculative part of this analysis, because really, we’re not meant to have all the answers from this. It’s clear this endcard is a teaser for things to come in the Sanders Sides storyline, and I’m sure in a few months we’ll all be nodding in understanding and praising @thatsthat24​ and @thejoanglebook​‘s genius, but for now we’re a bit in the dark. So, to figure out what Deceit means, we have to figure out where his truths and where his lies reside.

“Just be sure to keep up that personal growth, Virgil.” To me, the way Deceit places emphasis on the words ‘keep up,’ making them sound almost sarcastic, indicates that this is the lie in his statement. He’s telling Virgil to keep growing, but Deceit doesn’t actually want Virgil to grow. Based on this analysis, it is in Deceit’s best interest that Virgil does not grow, and reverts back to his old tactics.

“Who knows? Maybe soon, you could be rid of us all...” Now here, I think the lie is ‘rid of us all,’ which is based on my assumptions of their character motivations. I believe the “us all” to be the other Dark Sides, and Virgil would be happy if Thomas was rid of the influence of the Dark Sides. Meanwhile, Deceit wants the Dark Sides’ influence to grow stronger, and Deceit’s entire manner in this scene has been vaguely sinister and threatening, which is a conclusion supported by Virgil’s extremely defensive attitude throughout the segment. I think through this sentence, Deceit is saying that soon, the opposite of getting rid of the Dark Sides is going to happen.

So putting the entire statement together, we have “Just be sure to keep up that personal growth, Virgil. Who knows? Maybe soon, you could be rid of us all...”

I believe that to be a threat from Deceit to Virgil: “If you don’t quit this silly personal growth nonsense and go back to doing your job the old way, you’re going to have a much harder time dealing with Us.” It’s intended for Virgil to hear this threat, panic, and go back to his old ways in the hopes that it will protect Thomas from the Dark Sides, which will in turn only make them stronger.

The funny thing is though, if you take his statement completely literally, it gives away how to beat Deceit and his plan. If Virgil keeps growing and learning and becoming closer with the others, it may be even harder for the Dark Sides to gain more control, effectively “getting rid” (or at least diminishing) of their influence.

Deceit’s lies aren’t always based on fact, they’re based on perception. When he tells Thomas “You’re a good person. Everybody says so,” he was intending it to be a lie. The kind of lie you tell yourself in order to stay sane. But that isn’t a lie. Thomas felt like a bad person in that moment, so his inner voice of deception was telling him he was a good person, but as Logan said, “Belief doesn’t always translate to reality.” Thomas is a good person, so Deceit therefore inadvertently (and unintentionally) told the truth.

I believe this is what’s happening here. He doesn’t mean to give away how to beat him, he means Virgil to believe that the Dark Sides are more powerful than they actually are, and that if Virgil doesn’t do what Deceit wants, they’ll make life more difficult for him and for Thomas. But this isn’t actually true. What’s true is that the Light Sides have the most power right now, and the person who holds that balance between the two is Virgil himself. Virgil has shifted his influence to the Light Sides, and Deceit desperately needs that influence back, which is why he wants to stop Virgil’s personal growth right in its tracks.

Only time will tell if I’m right...and only time will tell which Side will win this battle of wits. I don’t know about you all, but my money is on our resident Emo Knightmare.

[thesinglesjukebox]

CHARLY BLISS - CAPACITY

[7.00]

Their last one was [6.90], so Charly Bliss may not yet have reached their capacity...

Katherine St Asaph: My suspicion that Young Enough is going to sophomore-slump hard and laboredly is at war with the thrilling, buzzing joy that's suffused every venue I've seen them play, and also with what feels like several weeks straight of "I'm at capacity, I'm spilling out of me" being an earworm. And also, perhaps the subconscious cause: my current millennially burned out state of needing to have a full-time job, plus a side job, plus freelance writing, plus an ill-fated attempt to learn real analysis at the same time (please especially don't try this), plus a pile of grovercode needing turned into a presentable product in a week (or this), plus a dwindling social life, plus not dying, plus the knowledge that even all this isn't stopping the rest of the world from lapping me on every axis. "A couple of things is enough": what a great fantasy. [7]

Ryo Miyauchi: "Capacity" captures the awkwardness in the process of transition. Hissing drum-machine ticks and bleeding Casio notes that sound inspired by early Rilo Kiley stick out of Charly Bliss's usual get-up like new accessories on an outfit during a trial period, but those new add-ons move the band's music into a slightly later era of indie-rock without overtly messing with the "bubblegrunge" of the last record. As the music shifts in tone, so does Eva Hendricks, who seem less sardonic not just through her more paced delivery but also her more matter-of-fact lyrics. [6]

Ian Mathers: Sometimes it feels like me and everyone I know are still sentimental, anxious kids and what is "sometimes nothing is delicious" but Mulaney's "in terms of instant relief, cancelling plans is like heroin" with a starker anhedonia? But I think the restless buzz of "Capacity", coating the surprisingly steady, sturdy song structure, would appeal even if it didn't touch the exposed nerve of this week's minor breakdown quite so hard (but it does that, too). It's still early in the year, not too late to try for "Sever every microscopic atom of connection to / 'I can barely keep myself afloat when I'm not saving you'" as a personal resolution. [9]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Musically, it's less exciting than what Charly Bliss have provided in the past. But more than that, it's the song's lack of development and dynamic range that turns "Capacity" into a frustrating listen. There's bright synth arpeggios and pounding drums but they're part of an arid musical landscape that sucks the life out of everything -- even Hendricks's idiosyncratic voice sounds anonymous here. The toplines are solid, though, so I'm still holding out hope for Young Enough. [5]

Alex Clifton: I feel like Emily Haines comparisons are inevitable; Eva Hendricks shares her gift of a bright, clear voice that glides. Halfway through the song it begins to swallow itself and even my usual songwriting kryptonite (contrapuntal melodies sung by the same person) doesn't manage to hold my attention as it might in other circumstances. [5]

Alfred Soto: Not until the second half with the addition of shiny, basic guitar lines does it exceed its minimal capacity. Before that moment, the synth arpeggio and Eva Hendricks' voice harmonize too well: cutely, in places mawkishly. Yet it coheres, if not at the level of "Percolator." [6]

Joshua Copperman: "Capacity" features a stock drum loop, an almost wholly synthetic backdrop, and a trebly, over-processed main vocal. "Capacity" also rhymes "me" with "me," and "wrong" and "wrong." Anyone more attuned to 'authentic music' will be irritated to no end, but that might be the point. The music perfectly mirrors the inability to make everyone happy, leaving all parties unfulfilled and unsure where their priorities lie. In the way "Capacity" alienates everyone musically and lyrically, the song becomes more relatable. There are hints of embracing the burnout in the lyrics, but the music completes the anti-people-pleasing message. Anyone talking about burnout (except for Anne Helen Petersen) just sounds like the ear-piercing sonics of this song to those that don't understand. Too many bands pivot to synth pop in order to be more accessible, but true to their songs' message, Charly Bliss intentionally please no one but themselves. [8]

Iris Xie: While Ava Max tries to fake meaningfulness with "So Am I" and Julia Michaels and Selena Gomez are insincere about their experiences with "Anxiety" -- Charly Bliss actually does the work of making art that communicates what it is like to recover from the dark, twisted anxiety of people pleasing, while dropping a latticework of references to that lived experience. When Eva Hendricks snarls "desecrated and complacent," when she rises in elation with about being a "sentimental, anxious kid," I wince in recognition. How have my own experiences of being mistreated, combined with overthinking and settling for crumbs, created maladaptive coping mechanisms where I people pleased and operated from my insecurities? The past few months have been full of being honest with myself on new levels -- I realized that absolutely no one in my current life wants me to be at capacity at all, and they are all rooting for my genuine happiness. Amazingly, "Capacity" embodies a significant part of that experience. Amongst fuzzed guitars and vibrant chimes that oscillate between warmth, danger, and concern, the pre-chorus is electrifying in its construction: "Sever every microscopic atom of connection to / "I can barely keep myself afloat when I'm not saving you." The melody's quiet, stirring confidence repeats itself in the hook, "I'm at capacity, I'm spilling out of me / It's got nothing to do with me." When Hendricks sings this, it is with a searing mix of joy, resignation, and defiance, and is reminiscent of being high on hope, as seen in Grimes' "Artangels" and Perfume's "Fushizen Na Girl." When I sing along to the hook, and I hear that little thunderclap of drums that affirm the shaking epiphany, I feel simultaneously elated and "god, fuck it, why was it like this?" But it's okay. Releasing old survival mechanisms that no longer serve me, with the help of therapy and support networks, has helped me understand an important truth. I no longer need to embody old roles that use overextended selflessness as false ways of receiving the self-love that truly, only I can give myself. Therefore, "Capacity" represents the sunniness rising from a relentless miasma, and the work it takes to figure out what your true capacity is. [8]

Vikram Joseph: Living one's best life is a phrase that a few of us might have used on occasion over the last couple of years - probably with a sense of humorous detachment, but also, almost certainly, with a kind of low-key reverence for the concept, which is, surely, the absolute platonic ideal of existence, right? It's easily confused, by me at least, with doing as many things as possible all at once; trying to keep myself and everyone else happy and to find comfort in the happy exhaustion of filling almost every evening and weekend with plans, and yet never shaking off the sensation that I'm still not doing enough, not meeting enough people, not living well enough. Fortunate, then, that I've been blessed in recent weeks with two extremely relatable songs on the subject - Alex Lahey's excellent "Don't Be So Hard On Yourself", and this (even better) Charly Bliss single. Transitioning from the salt-spray power-pop of their debut album to rich bubblegum pop, it's a hooky, summery self-care anthem cushioned by dense, foamy pillows of synths. And it culminates in a spectacular two-chord (it's rare to hear the old I-IV sound so climactic, or so well-earned) middle eight which must be the most ecstatic-sounding bonfire of anxieties I've heard in ages. "I was raised an East Coast witch / like doing nothing's sacrilegious / triple overtime ambitious / sometimes nothing is delicious," Eva Hendricks sings in her wonderful, weightless helium howl, that last line sounding like a revelation. Maybe 2019 is the year of doing less! Probably not, though. [9]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[dragonshost]

graredy + hyperbole

This ended up… much longer than I originally intended.  I have too many feelings for this pairing, probably.  So it’s under a read-more.

Obliviousness Is A Crime

AO3

FFN

Summary: Observing Gray has been a long-time pastime of Meredy, a natural extension of being around Ultear and Juvia.  Or so she keeps telling herself.

Over the past seven years, Meredy had grown up hearing stories from Ultear and Jellal that she had initially assumed – even at her most impressionable – to be mostly hyperbole. It was clear that Ultear and Jellal had some bias when it came to talking about the people they’d more or less relentlessly stalked for ten years.  Their twin obsessions really made them the perfect pair, Meredy could only conclude.  It was inevitable that they had come to work together twice in their lives.

But despite her best efforts to maintain objectivity when it came to the stories about Erza and Gray they imparted to her, it was difficult to tell fact from embellishment.  Somehow she doubted that Erza basically ate mountains and demons for breakfast, or that Gray was naked in perpetuity.  Though she wasn’t quite as sure about the amount of cake that Erza could consume (having never witnessed it herself), and that Gray had tried to fight a demon of Zeref…twice (Meredy was coming to believe that it was a requirement of Fairy Tail to be at least that level of crazy).

So she held onto Jellal and Ultear’s words all the same; they loved telling her stories, and Meredy loved listening to them.  Especially ones about Gray, truth be told.  Meredy loved Juvia, and Juvia loved Gray, so it seemed obvious to her that she learn all she could about the man.

It wasn’t until much, much later, that Meredy realized that although Jellal may have exaggerated a good deal about Erza (except in regards to the cake), Ultear had perhaps underscored a number of Gray’s more ridiculous qualities.  Meredy’s friendship with Juvia afforded her a front-row view of the man and his behavior.  Gray really did exist in a state of near-permanent nakedness, it turned out. And he really was reckless to a fault, though he hid it beneath a façade of calm.

It was easy to see his good points, thanks to Juvia.  But Meredy couldn’t help but notice that the man had a great many bad habits too. Like his too-eager willingness to egg Natsu onto greater acts of destruction, or how he tended to bottle up his more unpleasant emotions when it was clearly hurting him to do so.  He also tried to shoulder too much and would refuse to either ask for help or clearly explain to others what his intentions were, which led to all sorts of miscommunications.

Meredy wasn’t certain that Juvia saw quite as much as she did of Gray’s more unpleasant sides. Juvia worshipped the ground Gray walked upon.  And although Meredy understood the deep gratitude that Juvia carried for Gray saving her (as she felt it herself for Juvia and to a less extent to Gray for saving her own savior), it felt… Meredy didn’t really know how she felt about it, honestly.  It was complicated, and she didn’t have the words.  It just unsettled something inside of her.

She continued to watch Gray even then, though.  He meant something to Ultear and Juvia, the two most important people in her life, after all.  Also, she felt she owed him a little, having once been dead-set on his murder.  Which honestly made any attempted conversation with the man incredibly awkward.  Not only had he been an object of fixation for Ultear for so many years (good and bad), he was also the center of Juvia’s world as well, and those thoughts always hung in the forefront of her mind in every interaction.

As astute as she was in observing Gray, however, she probably should have noticed a lot sooner than she did that he had been seeking her out a lot more often as of late.  At first, she brushed it off as politeness, since she was always with Juvia during these times.  It would have been rude of him to only talk to Juvia, after all. And although Gray was dense and often accidentally rude, he was never maliciously or intentionally so.

Meredy eventually noticed that the times he talked to her when she visited increased whenever Juvia wasn’t there (either distracted by something else in the guild, or out on a job). To the point where those conversations outnumbered the ones they had in Juvia’s company.  Again, Meredy brushed those off.  Clearly Gray just wanted to talk about Juvia, or feel out a gift or the like without Juvia catching on.  Meredy could play along with that.  So, as the good friend she was, she would steer the conversation back to Juvia.

There was one memorable occasion when Gray’s team visited Crime Sorciere.  Juvia wasn’t with them, surprisingly.  Which was mildly disappointing for Meredy, but she liked Gray’s team well enough.  Although she wanted to talk to Gray (ostensibly about Juvia’s marked absence), she found herself confounded a little by Sorano, who demanded Gray’s attention.  Although Meredy adored Sorano, this was more than a bit frustrating.

Just when she was about to give up on talking to the man entirely, Lucy suddenly insinuated herself between the pair, linking her arm with Sorano and steering her away from Gray.  Meredy stared in shock after the blonde, as she threw Meredy a playful wink and a little wave over her shoulder.

Lucy was a nice person, Meredy realized.  Although she’d known it intellectually, it was something else to have it directed her way. A very, very nice person.

With Sorano thankfully distracted, Meredy took the opportunity provided to her by Lucy, and she approached Gray.  He smiled at her when he saw her, and Meredy’s heart stuttered slightly at the sight.

Confusion and embarrassment flooded her, and to calm her rising panic, she commented on the nice weather they were having.

Stupid, stupid, she chided herself.

But it was a topic Gray was surprisingly responsive to, it turned out.  And after a couple of minutes, Meredy had mostly forgotten her strange reaction to Gray’s smile.  She chalked it up to rarely seeing it.  Anyone would be affected by something they don’t often see.

It was only much later, after the group from Fairy Tail had departed (with only minor damage to the landscape thanks to Erik and Natsu) that Meredy realized that she had completely forgotten to ask about Juvia.  And yet… she’d still held a conversation with Gray easily.  In fact, they’d arranged to talk more on a later day.

Maybe he considered her his friend, and not just Juvia’s?  The thought made her flush with happiness.

That would be very nice, indeed.

“You are so freaking oblivious,” Erik muttered to her then.  “It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so sad.”

“I’m… not sure what you’re talking about?” Meredy replied, her head tilted slightly.  “Oh, you mean how long it took me to realize that Gray and I are friends?”  Red crept through her cheeks.  “Yeah, I’ll give you that one.”

“That level of obliviousness should be a crime,” he informed her before shaking his head and walking away from his perplexed guildmate.

“Congratulations,” Lucy told her teammate, nudging him withher elbow.  “You got a date out of her!”

Gray hung his head and sighed.  “I don’t think she actually realized that I was asking her out, though.”

“Oh come on, surely no one can be that dense,” the blonde attempted to reassure him with a pat on his shoulder.  “You’re just exaggerating because you’re nervous!”

Somehow, Gray sincerely doubted that.

It must have shown on his face, because Lucy shrugged and informed him, “Doesn’t really matter either way.  You get to spend time with her alone, and with Juvia’s blessing at that.  Meredy will figure it out eventually.”  She paused for a second, and then added, “Probably.”

Hearing her name, the water mage sat down beside the pair.  “Juvia is sure that Meredy will understand in due time, Gray-sama.  She just needs a little time.  That’s why Juvia stayed at the camp today, after all.”

“I’m still surprised that you’re okay with all this,” Lucy observed.

A smile spread across Juvia’s face.  “Juvia may be oblivious about a lot of things, Juvia realizes.  But Juvia isn’t blind.  Juvia thinks Meredy has feelings for Gray, even if Meredy herself hasn’t realized yet.  Juvia loves Gray-sama, and Juvia loves Meredy… and Juvia will always prioritize her friends’ happiness over her own, so Juvia will do what she can for them to be happy together.”

Gray pretended not to see the soft way in which Lucy reached over and locked her fingers with Juvia’s at that – and the way Juvia’s fingers curled around the celestial mage’s.

Although it wasn’t ideal, Gray had to acknowledge his friends’ efforts, and he did manage to score at least a pseudo-date with Meredy, so maybe the day wasn’t entirely a bust.  With a little time and effort, maybe they’d finally be able to crack through Meredy’s denseness.  Even if it… caused a little personal suffering on Gray’s end of things.

Whoever once said that obliviousness was bliss had clearly never spent time with Fairy Tail.

[voicesfromthelight]

What to Expect from A Channeled Reading with Me

Today, I’d like to share some information on what people can expect when they book a reading with me, what kinds of questions I can best help with, and some useful information on preparing for your reading. Since my methods are somewhat idiosyncratic, I think it’s worth going into some detail on the whys and hows of it all.

First of all, if you would like a book a reading with me, please email me at eliorareadstarot[AT]gmail.com.

The price of a full, channeled reading with my spirit guides is $150, which covers several hours of work on my part, several questions, as well as any and all areas of the client’s life the guides see fit to address. This type of  reading involves at least one initial appointment and one follow-up. A detailed, written report will be provided.

I am also available for detailed Tarot consultations for $50, or short, one-topic channeled readings for $75.

As you may have learned through reading my blog, psychic and mediumistic readings are two slightly different, though overlapping, disciplines. Psychics read and interpret energetic imprints of people, places and things, whereas mediums act as intermediaries between the world of spirit and the physical world, often being consulted when one wishes to communicate with a departed loved one. Strictly speaking, my readings are more mediumistic than psychic in nature. Though I am still in the process of mastering evidential mediumship in the sense of acting as an interpreter between the living and those who have passed, I usually rely most heavily on information passed onto me from my spirit guides, and less on directly reading the energetic imprints of the people I work with (though this is a skill I do possess.) You might say it’s my guides doing the bulk of the psychic reading for me. This allows me to do readings at a distance more easily. Any work done in a full channeled reading through psychic reading, or with tools such as tarot cards, etc., will be used in a purely supplemental manner, to gain additional insight into a given situation or personal trajectory. In the interest of maintaining the highest possible standard in my readings, any mediumistic work passing on messages between clients and their loved ones on the other side will need to be incidental to my channeled readings at this time. (I’ll be sure to let everyone know when I am ready to offer evidential mediumistic readings as a separate service! My practice is constantly evolving.) However, it is of utmost importance to me that the information I channel in my readings be truly meaningful to my clients, and contain details from their lives that prove I am not just making up “mumbo-jumbo.” In short, I would describe myself as an evidential psychic, or channeler.

Natalie and Salvador have encouraged me to strive to give readings that, if taken to heart, will dramatically change my clients’ lives for the better. My job is to help people make better decisions and align with their highest purpose. My guides will always respect free will and privacy. They will never intentionally sow discord. Their approach is never judgmental, only truthful, loving and compassionate. Furthermore, they will not predict the future unless it is truly in the best interest of the client to know something. This is a very important point: The future is malleable through free will. Any prediction is a likelihood that is increasingly changeable as one looks further into the future. It is more important for my clients to learn how to create better futures for themselves than to fatalistically resign themselves to whatever lies in store. This is why my guides emphasize advice over divination. Their mission is to support our spiritual growth and help us be the best, happiest, most productive selves we can be.

What can my guides help you with, then? Well, it is important to understand that they see life on Earth from a bird’s-eye perspective. They are generally excellent judges of character, as they sense people through their soul’s emotional and energetic vibration. They are especially good at honing in on the roots of larger networks of problems and patterns of behaviour that could benefit from being shifted. The great thing about this is that you can come to a reading with one question, and they will branch out from it to address several other, interrelated issues in your life - sometimes even pertaining to other family members. They are wonderful at bringing higher perspectives to interpersonal conflicts that encourage healing, understanding,  reconciliation and forgiveness. Natalie’s strong suit is  bringing comfort, encouragement and higher perspectives to life. Salvador, on the other hand, is a life-coach of sorts, who offers practical solutions to life’s many challenges. They will help you hone in on your strengths, and suggest what steps you can take to align yourself with your highest calling, perhaps in unexpected ways.

Usually, a full-scale reading with me will unfold over the course of a week or more, as the guides and I take on your “case.” Because of the highly involved nature of the channeling and its ensuing analysis, I have to take into account the time-consuming nature of the work in my pricing. When you decide to book a reading with me, we will first book a time for an initial consultation via video call, during which you can explain to me what areas of your life you would most like insight into, and my guides and myself get introduced to your energy. There is no need to go into excessive detail about your life during this consultation. In fact, the more room there is for my guides to give evidence by providing details I am not privy to, the better! It is best to have at least one specific question, which helps us forge the necessary energetic link, but no more than four. The guides will always hone in on what they think is most important for your growth and happiness, even if it is not the question you started off with.

After taking initial notes at our consultation, over the next few days, I will work with the guides on my own time to bring through as much information as possible for you, through as many channeling and psychic techniques as are necessary. Some of the raw channeled information can come across fairly cryptically, kind of like notes taken at lecture that then needs to be reverse-engineered by me, so, analyzing the information is its own task in the process. When all the information has been thoroughly sifted through, I will type up a detailed report on it  (usually a few dense pages), and also provide you with some of the written or recorded raw material, if appropriate. After this, you will have an opportunity to ask for clarification on the report, and we will schedule a follow-up appointment to discuss the results.

Here are some important points, disclaimers and preparation tips for my readings:

Most importantly, though I offer this service with complete dedication, integrity and sincerity, I am not infallible. As an obligatory disclaimer, I must state that for purely legal purposes, my readings are for entertainment purposes only. I cannot be held responsible for any actions you may or may not take as a result of a reading with me.

It’s a good idea to prepare your questions in advance, before our first meeting, to make sure you will get the most out of the experience. Please refrain from asking for medical advice, or pregnancy-related questions, as I am not qualified to answer them. Sometimes the guides will wish to bring your attention to a habit that needs to change, or offer reassurance, but any such suggestions or statements should not be acted upon without first checking with a qualified physician.

If you can, before our sessions, take a moment to meditate, relax, or uplift your mood. It is important to come to an appointment in as calmly receptive a state as possible for both of us to get the most out of the reading.

Remember that the future isn’t set in stone. Don’t be discouraged if the guides focus more on giving advice than explicit predictions. This only means that you can still have a lot of positive impact on how a given situation will play out. Think of it as an opportunity!

Remember that everything the guides say is going to be a suggestion, for your benefit. Their advice should never trump your free will. You are in control of your life. Enjoy it!

My guides and I always strive to communicate in a way that is compassionate, sensitive, honest and encouraging. Should something nonetheless come up in the reading report that is upsetting to you, we warmly encourage you to communicate with us and help us be of service by following up on it in our second appointment. While you may opt out of this, you will get much more out of the reading if you stick with the full process and stay open to exploring the results through discussing it with us.

If there is a specific topic you absolutely do not wish to hear about or discuss, please do let us know in advance! 

If you are coming to a reading as a skeptic, that is totally fine! We do, however, encourage you to come with an open mind, and perhaps a sense of benign playfulness.

Please do not not casually cancel or reschedule readings or appointments. It can take days of energetic and mental preparation for me to raise my energy to optimum channeling levels, so please only cancel or postpone if absolutely necessary.

Natalie, Salvador and I would love to work with you on any challenges you may be facing in your life. What are you looking for in a spiritual consultation? Do you have any suggestions for us? Let us know!

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #318

"Stevies Icy Glitch, Cold Fossils, A Present from Notch”

-There's a bit of a crackle as some of the rock around Stevie shifts to really dark and dense ice-

[Steve] Hey... I've seen that before. But never since we came here.

[TLOT] Really? Does it drop anything good or is it just ice?

[Steve] I kinda got killed before I could mine it and then I didn't see it again. It only happens really deep underground.

[Stevie] - Sorry, I don't mean to freeze everything

[Steve] Hey, it's okay! Let's see what we get! - He starts chipping away at the ice.

[TLOT] Boundless enthusiasm....

[Stevie] Moves away so he doesn't freeze Steve-

-The ice shatters a few items fall to the floor-

[Steve] Oh neat!, I got a blank book... and a big-ass skull, and this! - He holds up a very large chunk of frozen meat like a big turkey leg-

[Stevie] - That's a lot of meat...

[Steve] It's really hard too! - He whacks it against a rock and it makes a loud clack against the stone-

[TLOT] See you were focused on apologizing and you actually made him happy.

[Stevie] - Yeah but this still isn't normal

[TLOT] Well no... but you're glitched. These things happen.

[Steve] Puts the meat away and checks over the book- It's got a black cover too. Neat!

[Stevie] - At least I'm not automatically making it snow anymore?

[TLOT] Yeah, I can see how that would be annoying.

[Steve] I used to be sensitive about my glitch too, but it's okay. People are much nicer then I thought they'd be.

[Stevie] - Wait, you're glitched?

[Steve] Yeah... Just a little. - He sits down and pulls off one of his new diamond boots, his left shoe is unnaturally red.

[Stevie] Is interested but rubs his right arm nervously, a bit of ice forming near his hand-

[Steve] It lets me do this- He walks towards the lava pool determinedly-

[TLOT] Warms a hand and hovers it near the patch-

[Stevie] - Ah!  Steve!

[Steve] Nah it's okay. - He plunges a hand in and scoops out a bit of lava- Oooch, eek... eeep - He holds it up so Stevie can see and tosses it back in with a plop and shakes the remaining drops off- It's right on the edge of what I can handle.

[Stevie] - But...  It should've...

[Steve] Yeah, - he gestures at his mate - I absorbed a little bit of his bad code accidently. I can replace my stupid shoe as many times as I want and it always changes to that color too. And it's just the left one.

[Stevie] - Well, you're better off then I am...

[TLOT] You say that like you probably won't be able to freeze things intentionally later.

[Stevie] - It's the unintentional that I'm worried about

[Steve] Pulls his boot back on. - Eh. That's what respawn is for. You should try and freeze some more dirt. See what else we can get.

[Stevie] - I'm still working on not freezing everything!

[TLOT] But if you can do it intentionally, then you can also stop yourself from doing it. Practice is good.

[Stevie] Is becoming more nervous which causes more ice-

[Steve] Chops at it with a pick-

[TLOT] Easy now. Just sit closer to the lava if you need too.

[Stevie] - Sorry

[TLOT] Helps him sit next to the pool- It's okay! You're among friends. We understand what it's like.

[Steve] Gets a rather large curly shell and some flints- Look at this! It's so neat! - He puts the shell in Stevie's lap- I bet Alexis would think it was really pretty.

[Stevie] - Maybe, she does enjoy nature stuff...

[Steve] Taps the last block and laughs- It's a frozen fish!

[TLOT] What the...? That is an ugly fish.

[Stevie] - I have to agree with that

[Steve] Hey! I know! - He takes a stick and forces the end through the fish before holding it out over the lava.

[TLOT] Is just chuckling

[Stevie] Sneezes and the lava turns to cold obsidian-

[Steve] Aww.... damn...

[TLOT] Oh shush. It's probably just the top layer. - He punches out a pair of blocks and the space lights up with the glow from the hole below-

[Stevie] - Sorry!

[TLOT] You're learning. - He's walking along the surface tapping the obsidian away easily with the point of his scythe-

[Stevie] - I wonder what's taking brother so long...

[Steve] Is merrily toasting the fish over the lava-

[TLOT] You probably needed a break anyway.

[Stevie] - Maybe...

[Steve] Pulls the cooked fish back and rips off a small chunk. - Musky, but decent.

[TLOT] Probably freeze burnt!

[Steve] Plucks off a chunk of meat and offers it to Stevie-

[Stevie] - I wonder where exactly it came from...

[TLOT] Suddenly looks a tad concerned. - You know... Steve? You said you've seen this before?

[Steve] Yes, on our seed.

[TLOT] It could be bleed through? I mean, things exist in potentia right? Once an item has been made, it's then an option for someone else to craft the same... Our seed is inside the server. Maybe you're tapping into something that's a rare item there?

[Stevie] - You guys are gonna go explore, aren't you?

[TLOT] I already have a lot my mind after our battle... this is just one more thing.

[Stevie] - Yeah, thank you for being there though

[TLOT] Of course! I promised. It was the least I could do. And Cp provided an interesting piece of the puzzle as well. Have you met the pigpeople he healed from our seed?

[Stevie] Finally notices the offered meat and takes it, a slight coating of frost covering it- Not yet, I was recovering at home and then went to your seed, and then I've been on the seed brother's training me on

[Steve] They're huge! As big as Buff. And smart too!

[TLOT] And two of the males are very much in love. It annoys Cp quite a bit.

[Stevie] - It would, that might explain why he's so adamant about not leaving me alone yet

[TLOT] Nah. He doesn't want to leave you alone because it apparently took him a lot of time and effort to learn to control his own powers.

[Stevie] - I barely remember that time...

[TLOT] I think you weren't around much. It would have been when he basically couldn't approach you without you tryng to kill him on sight.

[Stevie] - That's been pretty much the whole time up until relatively recently

[Steve] Puts the fishbones away- Aw. Things have been getting better for a while.

[TLOT] He's right, it seems like forever since we first met. And I'm proud of you for becoming more openminded about us glitchy folks.

[Stevie] - Well considering how the only glitch person I knew until I came here was my brother can you blame me for being a bit prejudiced?

[TLOT] Live and learn.

[Steve] I'm just glad Harvestman is gone. What a nightmare!

[TLOT] Were you happy you got to throw my beloved cheese at him?

[Steve] Yep!

[Stevie] - No offense TLOT but that stuff reeks

[TLOT] That's because it's for Herobrines. It smells nasty to everyone else. It tastes amazing though. Catnip might make your brother purr, but I doubt it would do anything for you.

[Stevie] - If it did then my brother would probably use it in an annoying way

[Steve] It makes a nice sleepy tea.

[TLOT] Being annoying is what big brothers are for.

[Stevie] - I thought little brother's were supposed to be the annoying one

[TLOT] Shrugs- I don't have any siblings, it's just what I've heard...

[Steve] FAMILY is supposed to be annoying.

[Stevie] - Yeah, I guess the fact that the two of us are related does make us unique...

[Steve] Oh man... I just had a thought! You're glitched, I wonder what would happen if you had a kid with Alexis? They might have weird powers too!

[Stevie] - Do not put that idea in my head!

[TLOT] I shudder to think what kind of mayhem a child of Lie and Cp could get up to either...

[Stevie] - That's an even worse idea!- His distress quickly covers the entire cavern in ice

[Steve] Goes to work picking again-

[TLOT] Sighs and flips some blocks to make more lava and melt the ice-

[Stevie] - Sorry...

[Steve] OH NEAT! - He brings over a massive tooth- It looks like one of Basil's!

[TLOT] I don't think you need to be sorry...

[Stevie] Shivers a little-

[Steve] Gets another of the big cube skulls and puts it on Stevie's head like a pumpkin- Hehehe! Scary!

[CP] Teleports back- Oi, I'm here...  What the nether are you doing?

[TLOT] Just having some fun. Apparently Stevie freezing dirt and gravel makes it drop different things.

[Steve] I found another frozen fish! Oh... hey Cp!

[CP] - Great, ready to go back Stevie?

[Stevie] - Yeah...

[TLOT] Play nice you too.

[Stevie] Takes the skull off as he stands-

[CP] Grabs his brother and teleports him back to the other server-

[Stevie] After several more hours of training is exhausted- Brother, can we please take a break?

[CP] - Have you unfrozen the lake yet?

[Stevie] - No

[CP] - Then keep going

[Notch] Is coming back down the road that passes by the town, heading for his small house. He's dusty and looks exhausted.

[Flux] Had went ahead of him to have some warm food and bed waiting for him when he was ready-

{Lie] - Is watching Sally play in the front yard-

[Notch] Accidently drops a shovel on the stone patio-

[Lie] Looks over- Oh!  Notch, you're back

[Notch] Little wave- Oh.. Sally is visiting?

[Lie] - Yeah, I'm watching her since CP is helping Stevie right now

[Notch] Helping him do what?

[Lie] - Oh that's right, you don't know...  Well the arm Doc gave Stevie?  It wouldn't stay attached.  The had to use some rather strong glitching to attach it and it led to Stevie gaining some powers...

[Notch] Oh hell... is Stevie a brine too now!?

[Lie] - No!  He's just glitched!

[Notch] Okay... I'm sure he's not happy about it though. Where are they?

[Lie] - A separate server so Stevie wouldn't freeze everything over.  You can get to it down in the cage

[Notch] Oh. Darn it. Can I borrow something warm from you?

[Lie] - Sure, let me go grab my cape.  Will you need help getting into the server?

[Notch] I don't know, I've never tried.

[Lie] - Would you like me to come with you?

[Notch] Yes please.

[Lie] Disappears briefly and returns with her cloak which she hands to Notch- Sally can you behave while I'm gone?

[Sally] - Yes!

[Notch] Are you sure that's a good idea? Is Flux around to watch her for a few minutes?

[Lie] - I think she's in your place

[Notch] I should let her know I'm okay and change my clothes so I don't get your cloak dirty anyway. Excuse me for a sec- He trots over to his house and taps the door before going in- Flux?

[Flux] - Yes?  What is it?

[Notch] I'm home? But I have to go back out again for a little bit to talk to Cp and Stevie. Can you watch Sally for a few minutes, so Lie can open a portal for me?

[Flux] - Absolutely, I'll have warm food waiting for you when you get home

[Notch] Thank you. - He changes his clothes quickly and comes back out, stopping to drop a few items in a chest- Ready Lie!

[Lie] - Let's go then- She starts heading for the cage

[Notch] Follows, slinging the cape around himself-

[Lie] Approaches the new server and makes an opening, yelping as she's hit with a blast of cold air-

[Notch] Hurries into the opening. - Cp can let me out, just leave the cage door open please.

[Lie] - Will do- She closes the opening behind her father in law

[Notch] Wraps the cloak a bit tighter and ventures out into the snow looking for the brothers-

[CP] Is fairly easy to spot due to the plume of steam coming off of him-

[Notch] Waves and calls out- Stevie! Cp!

[CP] Glances over-

[Stevie] - Father?

[Notch] Stevie? Did you do all this?

[Stevie] - Yes...

[CP] - Thus why we made a new seed until he figures out how to control it

[Notch] It's impressive. Honestly-

[CP] - Yeah well he's currently working on figuring out how to get rid of it

[Notch] I could try to help?

[Stevie] - How?

[Notch] I can enhance powers, remember?

[CP] - Oh this should be entertaining

[Notch] I could always touch you instead Cp, we could certainly heat things up.

[CP] - You might want to rethink how you said that

[Notch] You know what I mean! It's cold as cubes out here.

[CP] - No shit

[Stevie] Yelps as he creates a new snow drift-

[Notch] Walks near him- Just try to focus on reigning it all in. You created it, make it go away. - He reaches out a hand to touch Stevie's arm-

[Stevie] Focus' and slowly the ice begins to recede from the lake, but a cold is spreading up Notch's arm as well-

[Notch] Shivers hard-

[Stevie] - Sorry father...

[Notch] Grabs Cp's shirt and drags him closer-

[CP] - Now what!?

[Notch] What do you think?! You're warm!

[CP] Growls-

[Stevie] Soon the water of the lake is visible again and Stevie pulls away from Notch, exhausted-

[Notch] Wraps his arm in the cloak fur and rubs it to get the feeling back-

[CP] Narrows eyes- Isn't that?

[Notch] Lie lent it to me so I wouldn't freeze. I'll give it back.

[CP] Scowls-

[Stevie] - Can we stop now?

[CP] - Fine

[Notch] I'm sorry I left so abruptly Stevie. I didn't realize anything was wrong that Doc couldn't easily fix.

[Stevie] - None of us did, it fell off in the middle of the night

[Notch] I'm sorry all the same. I want to be there when you need me.

[Stevie] - It's okay, you've been here way more than our original ever was

[CP] - So why did you run off in a hurry?

[Notch] Blushes- Thank you Stevie- at Cp-  Because I wanted to do something for you actually.

[CP] - You what?

[Notch] Nods- But I saved the endgame so I could do it in front of you- rustles in his inventory-

[CP] - Do I even want to know what crazy your talking about now is?

[Notch] Drops a crafting table on the ground- Just something that needed to be done

[Stevie] Watches curiously-

[Notch] Takes out three sticks and sets them aside - One from a dark oak forest, and two from jungle wood, - he pulls out some cookies- If anyone wants a snack. There was lots of cocoa beans around-

[Stevie] - Lie made us some stew so we're good for now

[Notch] That was nice of her. She's so thoughtful. - He takes out several shimmering diamonds and turns them in the sunlight. - Two from the edge of a giant lake of lava near the bedrock layer. One from a chest in a spider dungeon I barely escaped...

[CP] - What is so important about this?

[Notch] Just smiles-  This one I found by chance, just glimmering in the mouth of a cave, and this one was high on a ravine wall, it took me forever to get down to it. You really don't know Cp?

[CP] - You're showing off what you found?

[Notch] No, silly... they're for you.

[CP] - Uh, I can get my own diamonds

[Stevie] - You mean steal them from me?

[CP] - Yup

[Notch] Patiently- Don't steal from your brother. - He arranges the materials on the table and transforms them into a diamond pick and a diamond sword- These are for you.

[CP] Perks a little- What?

[Notch] I saw you lose your tools in the fight, and I know they were special to you.

[Stevie] - That's right...  You did

[Notch] It didn't seem right to spawn them from creative.

[CP] - But...  Why?

[Notch] Because I care about you?

[CP] Looks at the tools- I...- He hesitates- Th...  Thank you

[Notch] You're welcome. I'd hug you too but I know you don't like it.

[CP] - You should be getting back before you get to cold- He creates an opening

[Notch] I understand. I hope you guys get the hang of this soon and come back. I'm sure Alexis and Lie are both missing you.

[Stevie] - Yeah, can you let Alexis know I'm okay when you get the chance?

[Notch] I'll do it right after I give Lie her cloak back. Shall I tell her anything for you?

[CP] - I just saw her, so I'm good.  Now go

[Notch] Okay okay I'm going. - He scoots out of the portal.

[Stevie] - Bye father

[CP] Closes the opening-

[royalnovels-blog]

SW Chapter 83

Chapter 83: God King Armor The initially planned next round of the match was once again postponed to evening by Black Cauldron Sect and Five Style Sect. Towards such rude demand of Black Cauldron Sect and Five Style Sect, the disciples of Cloud Mist Sect naturally burned with anger and felt aggrieved, and Protector Yang also argued strongly on strong grounds. But the leader Ye Chuan nevertheless was indifferent, calmly agreeing to this demand once again. “Brat, I didn’t expect, even though your cultivation is not up to much, you are still somewhat brave.” Tuoba Xiong smirked and said, coldly staring at Ye Chuan. To make Cloud Mist Sect agree to this rude demand, he was prepared to use force, so regardless of his status, he personally stepped forward, preparing for the worst situation. But outside his exception, Ye Chuan readily agreed to his demand without arguing at all, making all the preparation of Tuoba Xiong go to waste. “You flatter me, Your Excellency father-in-law. Your appearance also is not up to much, but surprisingly, you gave birth to a fine daughter, I love.” Ye Chuan evilly smiled, intentionally looking towards Tuoba Xiaoniao who was standing behind Tuoba Xiong. Then leading everyone, he swaggered off. Behind, the face of Tuoba Xiaoniao became red to her ears, and now she was too ashamed to face anyone. And as for Tuoba Xiong, his lungs were bursting with rage, and he angrily said, “Damned brat, you……” Tuoba Xiong was flustered and exasperated, finally understanding the meaning of crushing one’s foot while trying to maneuver a rock. His chest rose and fell rapidly, and he nearly chased after Ye Chuan and personally attack him regardless of his status. The disciples of Five Style Sect laughed up their sleeve and talked in whispers. And as for the disciples of Black Cauldron Sect, they were endlessly embarrassed. “Your Excellency Sect Master, should……” Hong Lie stepped forward, and emitting dense killing intent, he was ready to make trouble, as well as seize the chance to ingratiate himself. “Get lost, both of you are Big Disciple, but why is there such a huge gap? Can’t you grow a little brain?” Tuoba Xiong roared loudly, then waving his hand, he left. Although it was rather rude to postpone the matches, but it didn’t count as a violation of the rules. But, if he attacked outside the life and death arena in the presence of all, then first, no need to speak about whether he could kill Ye Chuan or not, will he, Tuoba Xiong be able to mingle with others hereafter? Hong Lie had outstanding cultivation in young age, so he, Tuoba Xiong conferred him the position of sect’s Big Disciple. And compared to Ye Chuan, this Big Disciple of Cloud Mist Sect, he had always been proud of Hong Lie in the past, but now, seeing Hong Lie, Tuoba Xiong was not happy in his heart. Both of them were Big Disciple, and were similar in age, but look at how Ye Chuan act? He smiles looking at a stormy situation, and solely strategize to dupe other people. Moreover, under his control, numerous junior apprentice-brothers and sisters were completely obedient. By contrast, looking at Hong Lie, this Big Disciple of Black Cauldron Sect, people duped him instead. On the first fight, he won without fighting. Moreover, the disciples of Black Cauldron Sect were merely feigning compliance to him. And he could never bring together the power of sect. The angrier he got in his heart, the faster he walked, but he didn’t return to the campsite of Black Cauldron Sect, rather stealthily sneaked into the campsite of Five Style Sect when no one was paying attention, then had secret talks with the Great Elder, Elder Tu of Five Style sect. The Sect Master of Five Style Sect was busy for the time being, as he had gone to Bluestone mine to excavate the underground hidden treasure, so in Eagle Beak Cliff, Elder Tu was the person in charge of Five Style Sect. “Elder Tu, we cannot let Cloud Mist Sect continue to win like this.” Tuoba Xiong came straight to the point, although Black Cauldron Sect and Five Style Sect were always on bad terms, even to the extent that they fought intensely, but both of them were unwilling to see Cloud Mist Sect left to grow strong and unruly. When all was said and done, Cloud Mist Sect was different from both Black Cauldron Sect and Five Style Sect. Cloud Mist Sect possessed long history and inheritance. Although it was steadily deteriorating under the joint attack of both great sects in these last few years, but if they acquired a chance to take a breather, then perhaps they would immediately make a comeback. And once its strength was restored to the peak of its golden age, then there will not be any place for both Black Cauldron Sect and Five Style Sect to have a foothold in this entire Cloud Mist Mountain Range. The reason why they deliberately pointed out Big Disciple of the sect should personally lead the group to go into the battle in this Great Competition was for the sake of humiliating and again suppressing Cloud Mist Sect. So Tuoba Xiong naturally would not give Ye Chuan a chance of turning over. “Difficult, difficult, very difficult!” Elder Tu shook his head, then showing the signs of reluctance, he said in a lowered voice: “All said that the Big Disciple of Cloud Mist Sect, Ye Chuan was mediocre and stupid. But now, although his cultivation is not up to much, but his intelligence……, heh heh, I fear he is far superior compared to the Big Disciple of your Black Cauldron Sect and my Five Style Sect. And the even more surprising matter was, Cloud Mist Sect actually had someone who had secretly obtained the inheritance of Heaven Shaking Sword. He can sweep over all the experts within the same realm as him. Who can deal with such genius? Your Excellency Sect Master, do you have any wise opinion?” The entire face of Elder Tu was filled with wrinkles, but he was young at heart though advanced in age, and was a crafty, cunning person. He immediately pushed this problem to Tuoba Xiong. Tuoba Xiong was well aware in his heart, and said with a cold smile, “Elder Tu, less nonsense, I have a God King Armor, it can stop the attack of heaven grade weapons. This matter is no small matter, if Cloud Mist Sect obtains the first position, then perhaps they might flourish with this great momentum, thereupon becoming more prosperous every day and ultimately becoming the ruler of Cloud Mist Mountain Range. At that time, both of us will be having a bad time. So if you have a good thing, quickly take it out now!” Tuoba Xiong really wanted Ye Chuan to die, so without hesitation, he took out a heavy armor with black lights wandering around it. This was God King Armor, was the armor he had inadvertently robbed from a loose Xiushi expert more than 10 years ago. It was impervious to sword or spear, and was his most treasured treasure. Usually, he was even reluctant to take out this armor for his daughter Tuoba Xiaoniao. But now, for the sake of dealing with Ye Chuan who was the representative of Cloud Mist Sect, he had no choice but take it out. “Well, Your Excellency Sect Master is indeed heroic!” Elder Tu greedily looked at God King Armor in the hand of Tuoba Xiong, then somewhat hesitating, he took out a blood-red lance from his space ring, “This is Blood Lance that I relied upon to make a name for myself. Wearing God King Armor, and holding this Blood Lance, the cultivation of any disciple will rise sharply. With these two treasures, regardless of the disciple of your Black Cauldron Sect or my Five Style Sect, once they enter the arena, he will absolutely be able to kill that genius of Cloud Mist Sect, seizing the manual of Heaving Shaking Sword!” “Hahaha, good, good, Elder Tu really is frank!” Tuoba Xiong laughed heartily, and his complexion was ferocious, as if he was already seeing Cloud Mist Sect ranking last, and Ye Chuan having no choice but to personally cut off his arm in the presence of all. “You are flattering me, you are flattering me, Your Excellency Sect Master, the matter we speak about last time…..” Both big shots discussed the matters that were not fit to be seen or revealed inside the tent. Meanwhile, in a secluded cave, Yi Suo respectfully bowed to masked Jin Zhikun. “Your Excellency Hall Master, the circumstance is not right, Nan Tiandu is too powerful, like this……” The complexion of Yi Suo was malicious. Seeing Nan Tiandu winning two matches easily, Zhu Sijia, fatty and others participants cheered and jumped in joy, and so were the disciples of Cloud Mist Sect, but Yi Suo nevertheless had a gloomy face. Personal grudge had long been above the honor of the sect for him. “I know all about it.” Jin Zhikun replied, saying nothing else but this in low voice. “Your Excellency Hall Master, could it be that you want to helplessly look at Ye Chuan feeling exuberant. and him amazing the world with a single brilliant feat?” Yi Suo urgently said. He had faced the danger of being discovered to come and look for Jin Zhikun just get the ways to deal with Ye Chuan. But Jin Zhikun said nothing, so he couldn’t help but become anxious all of a sudden. “Endure, just endure, endure and again endure! Rest assured, Tuoba Xiong, that old fellow will not just sit by and watch. He will not let our Cloud Mist Sect have any chance to take a breather and rise to the prominence. What we must do is endure, and silently wait for a favorable opportunity. And once a chance appears, immediately……” Jin Zhukun’s eyes flashed with an ominous glint, then his right hand made a beheading sign. Yi Suo nodded his head and gritted his teeth to endure again! He knew that Great Competition lasts for only a few days, but he didn’t know how long he could endure, and when he could avenge a past insult?   Previous       Main menu      Next Click to Post

[casualarsonist]

Parental Guidance: Madagascar

I, for one, don’t quite understand the Madagascar media empire. I’m yet to watch the sequels, and I suppose a better reviewer would have researched a bit more about the films and games and spin-offs that sprang from this original movie, but I’m intentionally keeping myself in the dark so I can avoid an outside influence in my uncovering of these films. Which means I’m going to have to watch the other two. Which is something I just realised and I’m not particularly excited for. And now that I’ve cast a pall over the review by making such comments in the opening paragraph, let’s move on so I can give a more detailed description of all the reasons why this movie is just okay. 

Madagascar is the tale of Marty the zebra (Chris Rock), at least for the first third of the film, who is getting restless after a lifetime of being stuck in Central Park Zoo. He yearns to go to the ‘wild’, a dream spurned on by the bright mural of rolling grassy plains and dense forest wilderness that covers the wall opposite his enclosure. His friends, Alex the lion (Ben Stiller), Melman the hypochondriac giraffe (David Schwimmer), and Gloria the sassy hippo (Jada Pinkett Smith) are all far more adjusted to their life of luxury and the routine of the their day-to-day lives and fail to give much creedence to Marty’s complaints, until the day he goes missing. Assisted by a quartet of the best characters in the film - penguins intent on making their way to Antarctica (Tim McGrath, Chris Miller, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Christopher Knights) - the animals escape the zoo, wander the streets of Manhattan, are rounded up by animal control, and, their escape being seen by the public as a sign of their loathing of captivity, are shipped across the sea to Africa. During the long boat journey, the penguins take command of the ship...somehow...and in the ensuing chaos the four friends fall overboard and are beached on the coast of Madagascar. As the others adjust to life on the island, Alex, unused to hunting, begins to find himself hungry, and starts to see Marty as less of a friend and more of a meal.

At this point we’re about 45 minutes into the film and the first hints of a narrative arc are beginning to show their face, and I found myself engaged for the first time by the glimmer of hope that Alex’s transformation exhibited. But sadly, this glimmer amounted to little more than that, because at this point the movie is too far down a hole of narrative unfocus, and here we encounter my main problem. Y’see, there’s not a single coherent overarching story in Madagascar. It has fragments of a story, sure -  Marty’s story is that of a zebra in captivity that yearns for the wild, and finds it to be exactly as good as he hoped; Alex’s story is that of a lion happy to be caged, who is dragged along into an unfamiliar environment and confronted by his innate desire to hunt his friend; Gloria and Melanie’s stories are...that they get to come along, I guess? The penguins also have a separate story in which they wish to travel to Antarctica. They get there, and in 5 seconds decide that it sucks, and leave in order to appear again at the end and set up a sequel. The closest of these that comes to an actual character arc is Alex’s, but let’s take a look at the way a three-act narrative arc should pan out, and discuss why Madagascar manages to bungle it by lacking focus and a consistency:

ACT 1 - The set up. The characters are introduced and a premise is established.

In this case, it’s that Marty wants to go to the wild, and his friends get dragged along. It seems that Marty is the main character, because the plot developments are all driven by him; he’s the only character with any desire for change, and he's the only person that takes action; all the other characters are padding and are simply dragged along by the plot.

ACT 2 - Confrontation. The characters are faced with a struggle that they must overcome.

At this point, Marty’s goals have been achieved without struggle, so the focus shifts to Alex, who can’t eat what the others can and begins to starve, leading to him reverting to his predatory ways and becoming a threat to those around him. It now seems that Alex is the main character because the plot developments are driven by him, but this feels incongruent given that he never wanted to leave the zoo in the first place, so there’s no lesson to be learned by the character undergoing the struggle, and no struggle undergone by the character that catalysed the plot of the film.

ACT 3 - The resolution. The characters overcome their struggle and (usually) become better because of it.

Alex isolates himself while repeatedly wondering aloud what is happening to him. It’s clear that he’s starving for meat, but for some reason none of the characters address this or try to solve the problem - they simply treat him as if he were crazy. Marty comes to find him in his isolation and is attacked by some carnivorous Foosa. Alex fights them off, and then, despite the fact that his wildness has only been temporarily suppressed, they’re all friends again. After the emotional climax of the film has passed, the penguins feed Alex sushi and everyone is happy once more, except for me as this final development is clumsily shoe-horned in at the end as if it wasn’t the resolution of the story driving the entire second act of the film (as well as being inconsistent with the internal logic that establishes that Alex is bad for wanting to eat other animals, but for some reason fish and beef don’t count).

So what are we watching here? If it’s a story about four friends going on a great adventure to the wild, then why is the adventure over half an hour into the 90 minute movie? If it’s a story about four friends being pushed out of their comfort zone and enduring the hurdles of a strange and unfamiliar place, then why is it that only one of the friends involved has trouble adapting? If it’s a story about four friends, then why are Gloria and Melanoma little more than filler characters? If it’s a story about two friends, then why do Gloria and Mailman exist at all? If it’s a story about friendship overcoming adversity, then why is it that Marty and Alex’s friendship is never tested, merely questioned briefly? Madagascar doesn’t know what it wants to say and therefore doesn’t say anything with conviction. The clever moments (and some of the moments are clever) are undermined by the greater inconsistency. This doesn’t make the film bad, just forgettable.

But of course, after all that, I know this is a kid’s film, and it’s likely that you child won’t notice or give a shit about anything that I’ve said, so now that I’ve written about a thousand words regarding the things I dislike, let me try to redeem this review by mentioning that the film is rather harmless otherwise. There are some rough sides to the CGI visible in the low resolution and some of the animation, but everything is pleasantly stylised in a way that transcends any technical limitations and it achieves a rather timeless look. The performances of the leads are competent and Chris Rock is a surprise standout, who, given his capacity for shrillness, avoids much of the obnoxiousness that plagued Shrek’s Donkey. He lends Marty a great deal of emotional range and heart, and is a good foil for Stiller who gives a solid, if forgettable, performance (as recognisable as he is on screen, his voice could belong to almost anyone). Pinkett Smith is strong and sassy as her stereotype demands, and Schwimmer is utterly insufferable, as his stereotype demands, but I was happy to see him getting work (right up until I wanted his character to fuck off). Baron Cohen is also memorable as the lemur king, but I never want to hear the words ‘I like to move it move it’ again, and Cedric the Entertainer is wonderful and dry as his offsider. The best voice performance however, hands down, comes from Tom McGrath as Skipper, the leader of the penguins. Although they’re merely a distraction in terms of the overall story, the penguins are actually one of the most reliably entertaining parts of the film, and it’s easy to see why they became so popular as characters and managed to get their own spin-off film. I’m looking forward to watching that more than I am the Madagascar sequels, to be honest.

All in all, Madagascar is not as good a film as the success of its franchise suggests. It made over half a billion dollars at the box office for some reason, although it’s clearly aimed at a younger audience and relies on a lot of slapstick and bad jokes for laughs so perhaps it was a hit with babies. There are few reasons to preference it over many of the other CGI films of the time, and the inclusion of Mulled Wine the whingey bitch, and that god damn ‘I like to move it’ song make it more annoying than it has the right to be. The sequels are reportedly better, so I’ll get back to you about them some time in the near future. Until then, I’d recommend looking elsewhere for the time being.

Laughs: 6

Occasional laugh-out-loud moments are overrun by rather lame and simple humour. 

Visuals: 7

Another alumni of the CGI-boom era of kid’s films that suffers from the infancy of its technology. Thankfully, its stylised enough that it still holds its charm, but there’s something weird about the low resolution of the images, and the animations. 

Performances: 7

The performances are fine for the most part, but nothing particularly remarkable. Ben Stiller makes a pretty ineffectual lead to be honest. Chris Rock and Tom McGrath are great.

Plot: 5

It doesn’t really seem to know where it’s going for the most part, and kind of wanders around between plot points. The second act is the only part of the film that seems to have any kind of recognisable intention. 

Obnoxiousness: 7

If I hear the words ‘I like to move it move it’ one more time, I’m going to kill someone. Also David Schwimmer’s hypochondriac giraffe needs to be put down. 

Timelessness: 6

The visuals aren’t too bad, and the performances are still peppy enough to keep everyone entertained. The film is predominately let down by the lack of an interesting narrative. 

Hardcore Rating: 2

That’s a light 2 as well. There’s next to nothing scary about this film - everything is cartoony, right down to the drama. Even at its darkest, it’s Lion King Lite. 

Overall: 6/10

I kind of want to give this a 7 because it’s a competent film for the most part, but it’s just not that interesting, frankly. It’s a small cast, so it stings when a few of the characters are gratingly annoying, and it doesn’t do enough with its bare threads of a plot to make it anything special. Its most notable because of the franchise it kicked off, but I personally don’t see why so much came from this film.

[kira-reads-comics]

Monstress Vol. 1

Publisher: Image Comics Artist: Sana Takeda Writer: Marjorie Liu  Letterer: Rus Wooton

I’ll be honest. I picked up Monstress on a whim. I want to say that I read a good review (and I honestly think that I did) somewhere but honestly, I just really liked the art. The cover caught my eye immediately when I was browsing my local comic shop. How could it not? It’s like a sort of art nouveau steampunk style with a heavy Asian reference. Lines are light and airy but details are dense and everything seems to be coloured in jewel tones. Each panel is a miniature work of art. There were several times where I just sat with a page for a few minutes, exploring everything that was packed into its borders. The architecture is stunning. The fashion is so gorgeous it is to die for. And all of it lovingly rendered by Sana Takeda. Normally, I find myself loving punchy, graphic art like that from Sophie Campbell and Babs Tarr. But Takeda’s work is too beautiful, too detailed and delicate, for me to NOT like it. Just looking at these pages show a passion, patience and skill that many artists lack. But the art isn’t the end of it! Oh no. As gorgeous as this comic is, the writing is JUST AS GOOD. It didn’t take me long to fall in love with Liu’s characters and world building as much as I did the art.

Monstress features a matriarchal world in which two factions are at war; the Arcanics, beings of magic who possess animal features and the Cumera, powerful sorceresses who can use the Arctics lives to fuel their magic. Our protagonist through this journey is Maika, an Arcanic girl with a strange tattoo and a missing arm while she hunts for the truth of her mother’s death and the secret to the dark being that lurks within her body. We follow Maika as she discovers who she is and who she can trust in a world where she is constantly dehumanised.

The story of Monstress will not coddle you. The story hits the ground running and does not stop. There is slavery, racism and cruelty, a true examination of human behaviour. We might not be mixed with animals or have access to magic but war is the same everywhere. And it is much the same here. It is deep and touching and painful but very worth reading as the story is also gripping and enthralling. The characters of Monstress are what really drive this book home. The relationships are complex and nuanced, with everyone introduced playing their part in the whirlwind of confusion. And most of them are between women. It actually took me a while to realize that most of the men in this comic are either background characters to add some flavour or supplement to a more fleshed out female character. And once I realized it, I was thrilled. Monstress is a powerful, enthralling story about women without being super obvious and preachy about it. It just is. And it’s great. Whenever I come across good stories that focus on the relationships between women, I always realize how thirsty I had been for them. And the ladies in Monstress don’t mess around. They don’t sit around sipping tea, gossiping about eligible bachelors. These women start wars and assassinate their enemies. Some do it with words, some with magic and some don amour and a sword. But none of them are idle. And it just makes me so, SO happy to read it. 

It also has a wonderful representation of people of colour and a few queer relationships, between the family and friend ones. Maika and her family are visually Asian, as are a large portion of the characters since Monstress seems to be set in an alternative-reality Asia. But there are also a variety of other characters who fall under the POC umbrella, as important and developed as Maika is, from her best friend to the enemies she faces.

I do have one little issue, though. I guess nothing can be perfect and here’s the flaw in this little gem. The cruel, fat prison guard. I hate this stereotype. The fact that the guard is a woman makes it worse, as fat women are especially at the brunt of these awful archetypes. She enters the scene to torture Maika for talking back, which prompts a mystical response from Maika. I understand WHY the scene needs to happen. But the fact that the guard is drawn as “ugly” and overweight when all the other characters (evil or not) are of a normal weight and quite beautiful, draws the comparison that fat people are cruel because nowhere else are overweight individuals seen doing anything, negative or positive. Not to mention that this throwaway character who appears on five of the total pages, one of which she is killed violently, just seem to reinforce every stigma associated with being considerably plus-sized. It’s particularly disappointing when the rest of the comic has such careful consideration taken to representation and fair depictions. In short, Monstress is one hell of a ride and I highly suggest picking up a copy. I intentionally tried to leave the plot and other delightful details vague in the hopes that when you do read (and re-read) your own copy, you get to go on the same journey I did. In the few short hours I devoured this volume, I became completely enthralled. I cannot wait for the next instalment!

Also, do you like cats? That talk? And are sassy about it? Because you should read it for them.