#also yes yes yes I am aware that I am young. also something I have heard a lot.

[liondrakes]

To add on with personal insight: I first awakened when I was in middle school, but shied away from embracing who I am out of fear. I didn’t come around to embracing myself until I turned twenty.

I don’t think it’s a matter of the experience being too “deep” or “serious” for children. Hell, some adults (therian or otherwise) don’t even see their identity as an overly profound experience. It’s their life. End of.

It’s a matter of belonging that needs to be taken into account. People can experience that at any age. Children spend a lot of time contemplating about who they are and where they belong, so it makes sense why such a vast influx of them flock to this community through a very popular outlet… even if said outlet tends to spread a lot of contradicting, and sometimes incorrect, information.

I would know because I did the same thing years ago. If I were to apply any of this to myself, I wouldn’t be considered a “real” therian, or alterhuman in general, back then because I learned about the otherkin community through Vine when I was thirteen. From there, I sat with the possibility of having this experience. I ruled out that I likely did, but I didn’t announce myself as a member of either community as mentioned before. I shut it out for a while. This decision was made out of concern of being judged by the spaces I already found myself in.

On one hand, can I understand the frustration with young, misinformed therians on TikTok? Yes, especially when they try to recirculate outdated definitions and discourses. Nobody is obligated to educate them, though I personally encourage it if you want rampant misinformation to cease.

On the other hand, I don’t think their behavior disproves their therianthropy. They still have a lot to learn about themselves and their community. Even if they’re the kind who insists that they’re not an animal, they should at least be directed to terms in the community that help describe what they experience (ex: synpath, otherhearted, otherpaw). They’re trailing behind, but they’ll find their way.

Furthermore, some of what they say (such as claiming therianthropy “isn’t” identifying as an animal) is likely a means to prevent the judgement and lack of belonging that they fret over. The “Oh, well, I’m not really…” response reads as a defense to me. I’m aware that there’s kids who genuinely don’t know therianthropy inherently means being an animal, but this is also the same generation with unfettered access to the internet. If they wanted to know beyond TikTok, they’d know. These kids could be putting up walls to turn away folks who’ll subject them to harassment for even daring to step outside of what they consider “normal”.

By no means am I saying they’re allowed to dilute the label because of this. No one would should go out of their way in making themselves palatable to assholes. I say this to shed light on how they might be feeling and why they assert these claims, despite said claims about therianthropy being wrong.

Children, especially teenagers, are very cautious about how they are perceived. It’s not that they can’t comprehend having an identity like this. It could be a huge thing for them to understand, but I don’t think we should blanket it as that alone. That has never worked out for any community, regardless of the label and its context (as discussed by Paleo).

Many of these children are clinging onto the belonging they feel amongst us. Despite having to brace for anti-therian/kin bullying, and doing so in a very backwards way, they still conduct themselves as members of this community.

Some of them may not continue to identify as therians in the future. This happens with adults too. It’s not a child-exclusive circumstance. Even if it was, then so be it. Life happens. You explore. You make discoveries. Whether or not those experiences remain a part of you is something that only time can tell.

Some of them also have the possibility of staying within this community. They have the capacity to keep learning from and engaging with their peers. I embraced my alterhumanity as an adult, but I still had much to learn. I wasn’t thirteen anymore. The community I familiarized myself with had long changed, so I had to catch up with everything.

I just don’t think the original post is a fair approach to younger members of our community. They have ample room to grow. I’m not saying older members should hand-hold them through everything, but we as adults have the experience to know that kids aren’t devoid of their own complexities when it comes to identity. We were all kids once. Our circumstances may not be the same, but we must ask ourselves: “Would l say the same thing about myself when I was fourteen?”

Better yet: “Would I say this about anyone who was misinformed about our community but still felt like they belong here?”

You can feel however you wish about their lack of understanding, but that lack of understanding doesn’t define them as people. If that were the case, anyone who questioned an identity and didn’t figure out all the details would be put in the hot seat.

Don't bash me in for saying this..but I don't consider anyone 14 or under who especially has tiktok to really be a therian.

They're more than likley gonna grow out of it. I'm not hating them for saying they are a therian but most people that young don't even know the meaning and seriousness of the identity.

[mj-iza-writer]

winged whumpee learning to fly? it doesn't have to be a specific kind of flying animal (like I don't really care if it's a parrot or a bat or something) just.... wings. learning to fly. etc etc.

I imagined an avian/human hybrid. Hope that is okay. I love that hybrid so much.

I wanted to write this in the eyes of people who have disabilities, and how people may interact with them. I think the disabled community needs a lot of awareness. They are important just like everyone else. I wanted to represent the difficulties they may face in a world not made for them. Even people who love them and want to help may have a hard time with pushing too hard. I hope I did well in bringing a little representation to the community.

Whumpee wrapped their wings around themself and fiddled with their feathers.

Caretaker was in a different room preening a few of their feathers before Whumpee's flight lesson.

Whumpee had injured their wings at a young age. The damage happened before they could learn to fly with all of the other young avians. They were behind now.

Caretaker had adopted them after the injuries. Their parents left them after the damages. A normal thing amongst the avian culture Whumpee grew up in. A flightless avian didn't have much to work with. They wouldn't be able to follow the others' migratory patterns if they had to relocate. Even most jobs require flight. They would never survive.

"Are you ready Whumpee?", Caretaker called.

"I don't know, it looks like it's going to rain", Whumpee looked out the window. They were greeted with a beautiful sunny day.

"Does it now?", Caretaker chuckled, "I guess it's good thing we won't melt then."

Whumpee turned to them when they stepped into the room.

"I-I don't want to do this. I fell last time. I might hurt my wings again", Whumpee frowned.

"Your doctor said your wings are ready for flight. Your wings are strong and are able to withstand falling", Caretaker came closer and hugged Whumpee. They wrapped them with their bigger, stronger wings, "we all fall. It's important to get back up and try again."

Whumpee rested their forehead on Caretaker's chest.

"I won't always be here to help you Whumpee", Caretaker ran their hand through Whumpee's feathery hair and rested it on Whumpee's shoulder, "you'll need to know how to fend for yourself."

"Don't talk like that Caretaker. My parents already left me. I don't want to lose anyone else", Whumpee pouted.

"I'm sorry, but it's only fact. I don't want to leave you either, but...."

"I know, but can we stop talking about it", Whumpee interrupted.

Caretaker sighed, "okay.... let's go get into the air then."

Whumpee watched Caretaker get a running start.

Caretaker's strong wings snapped against the wind and they were up.

Whumpee sighed as they unfurled their misshapen small wings, "how am I going to fly with wings like this?"

Another avian flew by and waved at Caretaker.

"No one wants to acknowledge the disabled avian. Everyone believes I should be dead", Whumpee huffed.

Caretaker hovered nearby, their wings flapped slowly to keep them up.

"Then prove them wrong", Caretaker smiled, "prove to them that you have the right to be alive, and to continue living. Prove to yourself that you can do this. Prove to others who have misshapened wings that they can also fly."

Whumpee wiped their eyes and nodded.

"Alright come on", Caretaker encouraged.

Whumpee ran forward a little and worked to flap. They stumbled over some rocks and fell.

"O-ow", Whumpee cried out.

Caretaker hurried to land and help Whumpee.

"Yes that hurts", Caretaker knelt down.

Whumpee's legs were torn up from the rocks. Blood steeped out from several gashes.

"Here let's get you cleaned and bandaged", Caretaker started to help them up, "we can work on taking off later. Let's work on flapping. I'll get you in the air and you can practice flapping and gliding."

"Do we have to?", Whumpee winced, "it really hurts."

"Just for a little bit", Caretaker helped brace Whumpee as they walked back to their house, "I know you can do it."

"Ca-Caretaker, you're not listening to me. My body says no. It doesn't want to", Whumpee argued, "I can't do it right now."

Caretaker paused, "I-I'm sorry Whumpee. Uh, you're right. Let's get you bandaged. We can talk about this after."

Caretaker silently cleaned and patched Whumpee.

"You're mad at me now?", Whumpee whispered, "I-I didn't mean to yell like that. You were only trying to help me. You've always tried to help me. I'm not doing much for myself."

Caretaker cleared their voice.

"I'm not mad at you dear. You were absolutely right in what you said. I was not allowing you to express your needs. I was so set on getting you in the sky I was missing what you were saying. I'm mad at myself for getting out of line", Caretaker set aside their first aid, "I am listening now. How do you want to approach this next attempt at flying?"

"I don't know. It all seems so hopeless", Whumpee sighed.

"It's not hopeless", Caretaker cupped Whumpee's face, "it's hard, not hopeless. We can do hard things. Let's go ahead and rest today because of the injury."

"It's not fair that it has to be so hard though. I didn't ask for this", Whumpee pouted.

"I know, just remember, no one knows how to fly when they start. I fell just as much as you when I first started", Caretaker smiled, "I fell on my face once and broke my nose even. That's why it's crooked. It will take time. I'm here for you and I want to help you."

Whumpee sat outside and watched others flying.

"I don't even know what it feels like up there. I've never gone that high", Whumpee sighed.

"Watching the others?", Caretaker smiled as they sat down.

Whumpee nodded, "I can't imagine how good it feels to be up that high. I was up there once, and didn't get to enjoy it much."

"Yes, you crashed pretty hard that day", Caretaker looked up.

"Do you really think I can fly. My wings are so ugly and misshapened."

Caretaker looked at them again, "I think if you truly want to, you can. You may not be able to get high up, but I think we have a good chance. I want to encourage you to at least keep trying. I know it's hard to see everyone else having an easy time. I can understand how difficult that feels. Your feelings are valid, my dear."

Caretaker stood, "come on. I have an idea."

Caretaker got themself up and hovered just above Whumpee.

"Hold onto my leg", Caretaker grinned, "hold on tight."

"I don't want to fly", Whumpee whimpered.

"You won't have to", Caretaker lifted up a little to keep their altitude, "I want to give you taste of what it feels like up there. You can open your wings if you want, but you don't have to let go of me."

Whumpee looked at them questioningly, but stood and wrapped their arms around Caretaker's leg.

"Woah", Whumpee gasped as they left the ground. They burried their face into Caretaker's leg.

"Doing alright" Caretaker called down as they continued to climb and build altitude, "I'm about to flatten out, so hold on."

"Okay", Whumpee mumbled into the pants.

Caretaker looked around a little.

"You know it's prettier to look. My pant leg isn't why you came up here."

Whumpee peeped up.

"I'm up?", Whumpee gasped.

"Your up", Caretaker chuckled, "this is about the elevation the others were flying at."

"Can we go higher?", Whumpee blurted out bravely.

"Hold on", Caretaker started to climb, "this is about as high as I willingly fly. I won't take you any higher."

Whumpee rested their chin on Caretaker's leg.

"Are you enjoy the ride?", Caretaker peaked back at them.

"It's amazing up here", Whumpee's eyes sparkled, "I can't believe what it looks like down there. The earth looks so different."

"Yes. The city is up ahead", Caretaker pointed out, "we won't go into the city because of how busy the sky is. I can't maneuver very well with you holding onto me."

"Okay", Whumpee watched the city for a few moments until Caretaker had turned away and started back to their home.

"Try to unfurl you wings", Caretaker lowered themself a little.

"Caretaker... I."

"You don't have to let go of me. Just practice a little of the flapping you've learned. Feel what it feels like for your wings to hit the air", Caretaker sighed.

"Won't I mess your thrust up by doing that?", Whumpee frowned as they opened their wings, "that can affect your flight patterns."

"Maybe a little, but it's fine. My wings will keep us up", Caretaker turned to see Whumpee's wings out, "they look good. Turn your left a little up... its lagging a little... yep perfect."

Whumpee worked to beat their wings against the wind.

"You've got perfect form", Caretaker encouraged, "you look great."

"Thanks", Whumpee frowned, "c-can I try something?"

"The clouds don't taste like anything. You can't eat them", Caretaker chuckled, "I've tried."

Whumpee suddenly let go.

"Whumpee", Caretaker yelled as they froze in the air and looked down.

Whumpee was dropping, but they were trying more than ever to stay up.

"Come on... come on", Whumpee cried as the ground came closer and closer.

They looked up and saw that Caretaker was chasing after them.

"Keep flapping Whumpee. I've almost got you", Caretaker yelled, "you have to keep up enough so I can catch you and not crash."

Caretaker needed to catch Whumpee with at least fifty feet space from the ground. That was their hard deck. Anything lower, they risked crashing into the ground and injuring themself and Whumpee.

Whumpee suddenly lifted a little.

"I-I did it", Whumpee yelled.

"Keep doing it", Caretaker yelled as they worked to catch up with Whumpee.

"Brace yourself", Caretaker yelled as they grabbed Whumpee.

Whumpee was grabbed.

Caretaker grunted, at the sudden jar of grabbing Whumpee.

"That hurt", Caretaker grunted again.

Whumpee looked up at them worriedly.

"I'm alright. I'm too old to be doing stuff like this. My rescue mission days are in the past", Caretaker sighed.

"I'm sorry Caretaker. I-I had a moment of bravery, and it was fleeting", Whumpee whispered.

"A little heads up would have been better. Let's try for that next time", Caretaker hovered just above the ground and dropped Whumpee. They landed right next to Whumpee.

Caretaker tiredly sunk to the ground, "ugh... I haven't flown like that in a long time."

"Are you okay?", Whumpee looked at them worriedly, "I'm so sorry."

"I'm alright.... just need a second", Caretaker smiled weakly as they took some deep breaths, "though that could have been handled better, I'm glad you tried. I'm glad you were able to keep yourself up."

"I'm sorry... I really am", Whumpee looked at them worriedly, "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"Maybe a little. I'm alright. I promise Whumpee", Caretaker opened their arms to get Whumpee to come closer for a hug, "just be a little sore tomorrow."

Whumpee shyly hugged Caretaker.

"I don't want you to be afraid of flying again because of this. You kept yourself up... even if it was momentarily. You did it. This is exactly what we needed to happen. We can build off of this", Caretaker cupped Whumpee's chin gently, "don't lose the smile I saw up there. I think you fell in love with the sky. My plan worked."

Whumpee's lip quivered.

"It's alright", Caretaker smiled, "you were so brave."

Whumpee wiped their eyes and nodded.

"We can try again tomorrow. No promises if I'll be flying though", Caretaker stood up, "I have definitely tired myself out. Let's go get some food."

"Okay", Whumpee followed.

"You got yourself up", Caretaker stated excitedly as they followed Whumpee into the house.

"I did", Whumpee turned excitedly.

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all.

@the-beasts-have-arrived @sacredwrath

@porschethemermaid @monarchthefirst

@generic-whumperz @bloodyandfrightened

@freefallingup13 @notpeppermint

@cyborg0109 @idontreallyexistyet

@painfulplots @whumpbump

@everythingsscary @skittles-the-whumpee

@expressionless-fr @theforeverdyingperson

@legendarydelusiongoatee @candleshopmenace

@whumpanthems @lavndvrr

@ivymyers @starfields08000

@a-living-canvas @lumpofsand

@watermeezer @indigoviolet311

@whumpy-mountains @risk606

@electrons2006 @paperprinxe

@whumprince @kaz-of-crows

@mis-graves @decaffeinatedtimetraveler94

@sausages-things @castiels-favorite-hunter

@isikedmyself878 @daffyduckcommittedtaxfraud

@valravnthefrenchie @glennemerald

@jasperthecapser @does-directions

@deafeninglittlecrown @jumpywhumpywriter

@blackbirdsinatrenchcoat @mylifeisonthebookshelf

@thenormalestever @whatwhump

@galatic-worm @starmoon-constellation

@bacillusinfection @whumpsandbumps

@tobiasbones @octopus-reactivated

@string-of-broken-hearts @weirdthingweee

[nerdyfangirlingbooks]

I've had a stupid merlin au idea stuck in my head for days now and I know I'll never get around to writing it the way I want it written but I kinda wanna try anyway even though I am 100% of the target audience

[laughinglynx]

.

[ancha-aus]

Yes HI!! I am back!! With words!!!!!

First thing i need to address. i love the fact that N just lives in the fucking basement. That is TOO funny and fitting.

Because it makes sense lore wise as this is The Maskmaker. Something the rroyal family is guarding and holds highly. the fact the wood used is connected to the apple ritual?! Even more reason.

But the idea that there is just a person in the basement is so funny.

Yeah. you turn to the left and get to the dungeon. but you go down the hall and to the right and you find the maskmaker. That is too funny on so many levels

Okay but the detail that Nightmare can't feel the cold anymore is delicious. Just.there is somehting so human about feeling warm adn cold and nightmare just always feeling lukewarm. But still being able to feel the warmth and cold of others.

It means even more that nightmare takes care to make sure that ccino has weather fitting clothes, ESPECIALLY with the fact that the winters were gone and didn't come back until after nim is gone.

and the detail that ccino gave him a cloak!! special and custom made! hell maybe he even made it himself because he didn't have time yet to go order one, between his 101 duties.

nd the fact that while the cloak doesnt'truly make him warm as he can't be warm. the fact it does ground him. that it is a way for him to feel secure and just safe!! God that is so good Spot!! It is so good!!!

I love the fact that Nim took the twins down there to meet the maskmaker when they weree young. and the maskmaker just being casual about alreayd knowing their measurements. You just KNOW that nim went through something similar when she was young. which means. that it is tradition to take the young twins to meet the mask maker. Maybe it is to showcase that the maskmaker is pwoerful and special? important and in need to keep in the castle and secure.

I love love love that the effect of the tree is sitll noticeable here!! That being down here, near some of the source of the wood of the tree. near the source of this old spirit. That it still effects the people. and it would especially affect the ruling king as they ate the apple to gain those powers. making them extra receptive to this effect!!

Ngihtmare wanting to hide and cry. For just a moment in that space that little kid came out again. that little kid who just wanted to be safe and help hihs brother.

and then he pushes through because this is for a reason! He has his rights here! But most importantly. This is the least that ccino earns and damnit Nightmare is not going to let him be scared away.

The fact that the old maskmaker had looked with grief at nightmare. Knowing that nightmare would ahve died. Also i don't know if this is on purpose but the dark wood being used? the fact that nim didn't want nightmare to have a mask of the special wood. That is such a big deal. Yet it having been made with love and attention and so much care. that nightmare loved it, and still loves it.

And then the reveal of it being N!!

and nightmares FIRST thought being that N is an intruder. and he is so annoyed. not because of the fake being in the castle or even feeling afraid that someone broke in. just annoyed because he had plans and he wanted to get ccino his mask!!

And then it turns out that N IS the maskmaker.

and the fact that nightmare ASKS who N is. the fact he asks why there is a new maskmaker. and N being so happy because Nightmare is the FIRST king to ask about them!! that is a big deal and nightamre isn't even aware how big of a deal this is! I love that.

and i love how N's emotions are just wave upon wave upon wave of intense feelings. because N has been around the source of the tree's wood for so long now. They have been longterm exposed and even if it is part of her personality being near the last bits of the tree can't be helping them! also the fact she doesn't truly care what nightmare calls her. That is such a neat detail!

(okay side note. I got IDEAS about the line about the many different type of woods. and i understand that it are imported woods and stuff. but!! But!!!I got ideas and I will get back to that wiht an ask eventually because i need to make bad sketches to best explain!! but i swear i will come back to this and you can call me out and ask me about it in case it takes long!!)

okay but the rage tha tnightmare immediantly felt when N implied the mask was for a consort. later the fact that nightmare isn't even surprised that N knew who Ccino was. the fact nightmare immediantly figured that Nim would have taken Ccino down here to make sure the maskmakers are prepared in case Dream loves Ccino as much as Nim expects.

I don't know what is better. the fact that N is just snooping around and found out that way. Nim taking Ccino down here to show him off (also got thoughts about the fact that nim took a young skeelton which she KNEW would eventually grow into HER type as gift to her son. you think she ever watches the slowly becoming adult ccino and was disappointed her health was already declining? thoughts to discuss later.) OR! a secret third option. the carvers are right by the wood of the tree. the tree that is fond of ccino. maybe the tree just shared their emotions and feelings about ccino to them. which is protect. respect. special.

Just. options!

I love the process of the mask making?! not just the form or shape of the mask that is expected (though N asks for it at first so maybe most king's just told them what they wanted and expected the maks makers to make it work?) but when N sees that ngihtmare is very agaisnt it and tells him for who it is and why he wants one before anything else they go for the traditional way. which is to get a feeling for how the other thinks about them. To literaly FEEL what they feel to put THAT into the mask. that is so strange and alien but so damn beautiful! I love it!

And nightmare. gosh. he is so impacted. because thinking about ccino. about all he did for him. while his emotions are amplified. All those feelings and knowledge circling and effecting himself on such a level he is close to tearing up. i love that.

THE WAY HE CLUTCHES THE CLOAK TO GROUND HIMSELF!!!! The thing that Ccino GAVE him. just another reason why he is exactly there.

and N just being excited to get STRAIGHT to work. skipping over to the pile of wood to grab the best option and nightmare wanting to stay before deciding against it because it is just too much for him.

AND THE TAGS!!!

The fact the gang and ccino went down here to make a new mask for nightmare. ccino claiming first go because he IS the brother/caretaker/ REAL parent of nightmare.

Just. fuck! that would be such a banger drabble too! Maybe N doens't even address them by name but like by which animal mask they were given. Just right away she knows who is who without EVER seeing them. wihtout even being at any ceremony or anything!!

Ccino knocking and N opening the door only to smile and say "If it isn't the white cat!! Come in come in!" and Ccino is shocked. his mask is a very tightly held secret. just for his own safety. sure ccino figured nightmare told N for who it was but Ccino never met N. So he knows N never met him either.

And them all taking a moment to talk about Nightmare. You could really dive into their realtionships like that. ccino talks about nightmare with such pride and love. that is HIS kid at this point and his emotions and feelings say as much. Killer speaks about nightmare as this naive person still but willing to listen and learn. Soemthing that ngihtmare takes price in. Dust speaks about nightmare as his savior. Nightmare saved him first from dead and then from his own magic exploding him. Horror speaks about Nightmare of a trustworthy hardworking caring king. someone who tries his best to do right. Cross speaks about nightmare and can only think of forgiveness and second chances. He is safety.

Just. AAGH!!!

Also the idea that dream goes down here and N just smiling like "took your sweet time to visit me prince. You wanted a mask and you were literally down the hall!"

Dream sputtering "I was in a jailcell?!"

N tilts her skull "so? Could have still called for me. I could ahve had the mask you wanted ready AGES ago." :/

It is just not efficient lmao!!

The fact N just walks into town casually is so funny to me. Just. making my way downtown. walking fast. faces passing. no one knows how the fuck i do this :3

Spot this was such a good drabble!! I always love what you write!

The Maskmaker (New Age AU Drabble)

Hiiiii. So, this isn't very long and doesn't do Nightmare or N enough justice, but I wrote this a while ago and my lovely pals looked at me w/ big ol' eyes on my post about posting it, sooooo!!! Here it is!!

This is shortly after Night's coronation and follows Ancha's drabble regarding Ccino + his remaining by Night's side!

   These halls. They were cold. Colder than the rest of the castle.

   Nightmare only knew, thanks to the gentle puff of steam left by his shallow breaths as he stepped down the corridor. The dark, long, corridor.

   He couldn't feel it. No. His sense of warmth and cold had faded almost instantly after eating the apple. The nervous chill in his core had been replaced with a luke-warm air. Like a puddle left after a summer rain. The chill couldn't reach him.

   Still, he wore his cloak. One which Ccino had tailored not a week ago because he feared Nightmare would feel bare without it. His old one used to keep him warm. Ccino was right, of course. Purposeless or not, the new heavy fabric kept him centered. Covered the restless twitching of his tendrils as he spoke with the few he could bring himself to communicate with since the incident.

  

   Now, it's bottom hem was suspended away from the old floors, just barely, by his extra limbs.

   His steps were silent, he wasn't sure when that had begun, but he imagined in this darkness no one would know he was there at all until the Cyan of his eyelight was turned upon them.

   He approached the door. Finally reaching the ornate, carved surface he'd visited only once before. When he and Dream were young. Nim had ordered them to come alone and let the mask-maker measure them. So they'd know when time came for them to commission their own masks. They didn't have to come down, the mask-maker already knew their measurements. They always did.

   His knuckles hovered away from the door. With its carving of that tree, swirling and dancing in the low light his eyelight provided. This space held more lingering emotions than he'd expected. His hand trembled a bit.

   No. He couldn't chicken out. He couldn't go crying, this was important to him. It was his right. It was... the least he could do.

   His fist connected with the door, twice, steadily. The loud sound echoed into the space behind him, and he stood. Prepared to face heckling and anger abd fear, for he wasn't sure the mask maker even knew of his rise to the throne. He hadn't been there, after all. At the ceremony.

   The door swung inward, and... Nightmare found hinself staring down at a monster.

   This monster... was not the one whom he remembered.

   Before, when he was young, he recalled a large, imposing monster. Heavy clay hands that held the pristine masks so carefully. Kind eyes which skimmed sorrowful past him, and handed him that lovingly carved owl mask. The one made simply out of dark wood.

   Now, the monster stood before him, leaning in the doorframe, was not that monster. This one was slightly shorter than him, stocky in the shoulders, and bundled in layers of cloaks and gloves. Their face hid behind the mask of some sort of rabbit, bright, burning lights behind the eye-holes were a soft lavender and blue. Only a lashing tail gave away their species. A skeleton varient.

   "Mask-maker." He greeted, composure renewed.

   The monster blinked, before they widened the door a bit more. A wave of amusement and excitement washed over Nightmare, and he thought he might be sick from just how potent it was.

   "Ah, my King!" They exclaimed, and Nightmare could almost hear the smile in their tone. "I wasn't expecting you so soon after your whole coronation, come in!"

   They darted away from the door, allowing Nightmare to see past them. The room beyond was as he remembered. The large sets of work-benches, suspended candles, piles upon piles of wood. Masks lined every inch of the walls, though now he could see newer ones piling up along shelves and along the stations.

   The monster seemed to round to a large chair, much too oversized for them, and plop down into it. Nightmare drifted inside, closing the door behind him carefully.

   "You royals only come down to see me for masks, that is my job though," They mused. "Or, well, that's what my mentor always said."

   Nightmare drew closer to the opposite side of the table which now separated them. He could see the messy, amalgamated surface of a partially-completed work laying between them. The wood mangled and frayed not unlike torn flesh.

   "I must ask," He knew he had other business and little time, but, "Who are you, mask maker? My mother never mentioned a change in position."

   It would be just his luck that a fraud would be hidden here in the depths. Though, the emotions were simply so delighted. They swirled about, as though every flick of their tail sent another ripple through the air.

   A giggle erupted from behind their mask.

   "Oh, I think I like you already, my king!" They said happily, "Mask-makers have never been asked such a thing by the royals! We have always been known to retire and pass on the mantel without care from you folks."

   They divulged the information so easily, but Nightmare didn't recieve the answer he had asked for. It took a few more breaths before they spoke again.

   "My name is N, my King. Call me as you see fit, I change as easily as replacing my mask." They finally admitted. "King Nim visited me once, two years ago, only to inform me her prince may quickly approach after his coronation. Though, I'm sure you're not the one she meant?"

   Nightmare withheld the hiss which desperately wanted to bubble up in his throat. His tendrils whipped about in frustration. Guilt. Of course they were expecting Dream. He'd figured as much.

   "No matter. I am here to serve my king, and that king is you, my good sir." They dipped their head a bit, "So, what is it you'd like me to carve? A noble wolf? A regal ibis? Something fitting a consort or-"

   "None of that." Nightmare cut them off, his good socket narrowing in disgust. The thought made his stomach churn.

   He thought he'd have to wait for her to speak up again, but found they had quieted and were seemingly awaiting information.

   "My... head of house. Recently promoted as of my ascension." He said, slower. He wouldn't get worked up again, "He deserves only the best, and I know you understand this well."

   N seemed to smile beneath the mask again, their eyelights hidden in thin crescent slits.

   "Describe away, my king!" They exclaimed, reaching out for a scrap of paper.

   Nightmare remembered how he'd been taught. To describe the mask with intention. Feelings and thoughts tucked away into each and every word. Those were supposed to be insightful for the mask-maker. To guide their hand as they carved.

   "This mask. I would like it to be the Visage of a cat. Well-kept, clean, orderly." He spoke, gently, drawing his eye away from the table and to the plain floor were nothing would influence his thought. "A kind face, soft. Trustworthy and bold. Clever. Warm."

   Nightmare wasn't sure what came over him. Descriptions and feelings tumbled from his jaws for what felt like ages. By the time he finished, his throat was raw with emotion. His hands clutched the inside of his cloak like a life-line.

   It was the tapping of N's charcoal stick to her desk which alerted Nightmare. Made his eyelight snap back up to her position.

   Though, she'd already put her sketch down and was up and across the room. Tugging at her piles and piles of enchanted and imported woods. For being a stationary monster, they had strength to move the wood with ease.

   "You've given me the perfect working material, my King! This mask should be done in four-days time." They assured him, not turning around.

   Their emotions read as elation now. A pure, unadulterated joy at the... the way Nightmare had described his mask? He could only imagine his magic intent had something to do with it. Ccino would, hopefully, understand.

   Oh!

   "The mask. You are aware who it is for?" He questioned.

   N hummed, before popping away from the stack of wood with a nice chunk of white-ish wood. It reminded Nightmare of cooked fish flesh, a pristine off-white with an intricate pattern.

  

   "I can only imagine it's that guy? Ccino? Good for him with the promotion, by the way. I'm sure he had his fair share of struggles to get there." N replied.

   Nightmare gave a minute nod. He hated that he had a heavy suspicion as to why N already knew Ccino by name. Nefarious plans set by his mother yet again. Bastard woman.

   He debated staying longer. Watching N strip the bark away or making smalltalk.

   In the end, it was better to leave. His hands were still shaking and his gut felt like it'd spill if he felt one more overwhelming emotion from the craftsman he was standing with. So, he bid them a farewell, promised to return in four days time, and exited from that heavy wooden door.

   The trip would be worth it so long as N delivered. And she would.

[thinkinonsense]

FANTASIZE❦

old!logan howlett x fem!reader

*mdni

cw: cursing, nsfw, age gap (reader is twenty-five)

wc: 1k+

a/n: i have no idea where this came from. i was supposed to be working on something completely different but apparently, this needed to be written first instead. yes it is inspired by the unreleased ariana grande song.

⊱ ─── ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ─── ⊰

Logan couldn't read minds. He never longed for the ability or power; he was better off not knowing what others had going on in their heads. He only wanted to peek into someone's mind when he caught your twinkling eyes lingering in his direction. Luckily, he could still read your mind even without the mutation because your fantasies were written all over your face.

It was obvious to anyone caught in the same room as you and Logan, that there was tension. You burned holes all over his body with your intense gaze. If Logan was in the mood to entertain your little crush, he could compliment you in a way that was sure to make you blush.

"Good form today, kid."

"Lookin' pretty today, sweetheart."

"Lemme fix that lipstick, dollface." That one left you with an ache in between your thighs as his thumb brushed your lower lip. "Can't have you walkin' around here a mess, now can we?"

Logan wasn't sure if he would ever make it to heaven but seeing your lip tremble with need was close enough for him.

If he saw you in a dress with a pair of mary-jane's, he would try to catch a glimpse of your underwear in the reflection of your shoes. It didn't always work but it made him feel young again.

No one was brave enough to address it due to him being twice your age. Despite being twenty-five years old and already having graduated from the school, it was still considered taboo to some. If anyone asked Logan about it, he would brush it off as a schoolgirl crush that you would eventually grow out of.

It was truly harmless he thought. You got the attention you craved and Logan got to see a pretty young woman squirm in her seat because of him. It never went further than flirtatious comments and lingering stares.

❦

Today might be the worst day of your life. You and Logan were being sent out together on a mission to find a mutant that lived two hours away. It wasn't the mission that worried you; it was being stuck in a tiny car with only Logan for one hundred and twenty minutes.

"Why aren't 'cha talkin', dollface?" Logan asked, almost teasingly.

For almost twenty minutes, he was aware of your eyes watching his hand hold the wheel. Logan was also incredibly aware of the effect it had on you. A little broken sigh escapes you when his hand clenches tighter around the leather, making his veins pop even more.

"Too busy fantasizing 'bout me?"

No matter how much you tried to find someone your age to be with, your heart always went back to Logan. He treated you differently than anyone you've ever met. Sure, sometimes he made you feel like a kid but he also knew you could handle your own. Logan wouldn't let anyone underestimate you; that kept you crawling back to him.

"Maybe I am." You shrug, fed up with his games.

"Oh, yeah?" He says, taking a deep inhale of your sent. "What's goin' on in that pretty head of yours, hm?"

You were used to Logan's overly confident personality that he tried to use to intimidate you; and make you stumble over your words. It wasn't gonna work this time. Logan wanted you just as much as you wanted him, but you needed him to admit it first.

"Us in the backseat of the car." You admit, biting the inside of your cheek nervous for his response.

"Really? And what are we doing back there?" He asked, cocking his head curiously as his eyes remained glued to the road.

"You're on top of me, makin' me feel good." Your words were coy but that was the point. Logan liked being the tease; having all the power.

"Keep talkin', dollface."

There it was. You had him right where you wanted him.

You pretended to think about it for a moment before shaking your head and telling him, "No, I shouldn't"

"Why not?"

"Because an old man like yourself can't keep up with me, right? At least that's what I heard you tell the Professor."

Logan couldn't believe you had heard their conversation earlier this week. The Professor was the only person who knew the truth of how Logan felt towards you. When Charles asked him what was stopping him from pursuing you, all Logan had to say was, "I'm too old for her; can't keep up with such a young thing like her".

Which was far from the truth.

"So obsessed with me that you're listenin' to my conversations now?" He growled, pulling the car over.

"Stop acting like you aren't obsessed with me too." You smile at him. "I know a few pairs of my underwear 'mysteriously' disappear from my hamper. I know that you can hear me through the walls late at night, panting your name."

With each sentence, you inch closer to him. Logan could only compare you to the snake in Eve's garden; encouraging him to give into his temptations.

"I also know that you want me." Your eyes were dark with desire, making his pants tighter. "So, if you can't get it up or claim that you don't want me then that's fine with-"

Logan fumed with irritation and lust. Not thinking twice before slamming your lips into yours. He tasted exactly like you imagine; tobacco and mint. You were addicted; no one could ever compare to him.

In a rush, his rough hands pulled you into his inviting lap before one cupped your jaw and his other made its way up your skirt, toying with your lacy underwear. He wasn't going to give it to you that easily.

"L-Logan, please," You moan against his mouth, trying to create some friction on his lap. "Need it."

God, he's waited a long time to hear that; to see you so desperate in his arms. When he pulled back to look at you, Logan couldn't be more pleased with the image in front of him. Your eyes shut tightly, face scrunched, trying to concentrate, and lips pouty with annoyance. Logan removes his hand under your skirt; causing the prettiest whine to escape you. He thought you might be what finally kills him.

"We aren't done, sweetheart." He groaned in your ear. "Get in the backseat because you are gonna tell me every single one of your fuckin' fantasies."

[deadsetobsessions]

Danny laid across his throne, legs planted across the left arm of the ornate chair and back pressed uncomfortably against the right.

"Listen," Danny started, letting his head flop to the side as he glared at a hovering Observant. "This meeting has wasted enough of my time. You all have been arguing for hours and that's without Clockwork slowing things down."

"Your Majesty, this is a matter of great importance. Belial means to overthrow and rule my-our world!"

"I am distinctly aware aware of that," Ancients, Danny couldn't wait to go home and rid himself of the formal speech he'd had to adopt in order to be taken seriously. Well, as seriously as he cared to be taken when sprawled across his throne instead of sitting on it intimidatingly or something. He slowly placed his gaze on the suddenly still demon sitting across from him. "Yet you've proposed fifteen different plans that were all unviable for whatever reasons you've cooked up. Your conclusion is that I must step in. Does your world not have heroes to take care of it?"

The demon- another lord of hell from this Belial’s universe- fell silent.

“Ah. But if they do, they would also take care of you.”

“No- no, that’s not-”

Danny allowed his voice to drop to the artic freeze he knew his core was capable of. "I opened these these doors to allow all of you to present me with reasonable concerns regarding your own universes and realms. What is not on the table for discussion is your petty politics. Do you think I am unaware of your intentions in tattling to me? That I do not know you are trying to use me to further your own position?"

"Your Majesty, I-" The demon growled out, fear slowly coating its expression.

"It no longer amuses me. You think that I am young and easy to manipulate." Danny froze the demon to its chair. It tried to break free, but Danny isn't the High King of the Infinite Realms for nothing. "Bring to me a miserable problem like this ever again, one that could be easily solved if you used even a smidgen of your intelligence, and you will find exactly how I tore Pariah Dark from his throne."

Not that Danny knew how he did it either, he just did it.

"Yes, Your Majesty. My-my apologies."

The room is dead (Danny patted himself on the back for the pun) silent. Some of the Ancients looked bored, like Clockwork who knew Danny would never hurt them, but everyone else looked close to crying. He held eye contact with the demon until it looked away.

When Danny settled back into the throne and allowed his ice to dissipate, the room let out a collective sigh of relief.

"The next item on the agenda is another demon, by the name of Trigon." Clockwork announced, the large piece of paper comically huge next to his currently toddler-like body.

"Another?"

He flicked an amused look at the previous demon, who kept his trap firmly shut.

"He is attempting to take over multiple worlds in an attempt to conquer the universe. I had thought you would be interested in this one, Your Majesty, as he plans to begin with Earth 135."

Danny stilled. That was his Earth. His haunt.

"Does he know of the Realms?"

"Vaguely, I believe."

"Then he should know the rules. I will wait to see if my Earth's heroes are capable to step to the task."

Danny would be a hypocrite if he doesn’t let the heroes of his Earth try first, even if he is one of those heroes.

"Of course," Clockwork grinned at him, fully aware of the shit Danny's about to stir back home. Ah, the wonders of being able to influence the time stream. Perhaps the young Ghost King will finally get some friends, and maybe get those pesky speedsters to stop making his jobs so hard. Cujo yipped at Danny as the King begrudgingly moved onto the next topic.

——

Raven shuddered as she watched the footage of her "brothers" laughing while steering their human "meatbags" around. She turned back to the giant circle of donated blood and herb filled candles.

“This is a nuclear option, don’t you think?” Green Arrow mumbled, clearly not against it by the half hearted way he’d said it. The Star City billionaire nursed his cracked ribs.

“No,” she floated over to where Zatanna and Constantine kneeled, trying to see if they needed help with the inscriptions. “Trigon is coming soon, and my brothers will no doubt find their way here in a moment. We are out of time.”

“Yeah. Plus, we don’t want Raven to be turned into a portal.” Garfield piped up, switching animal forms rapidly.

“No one dies.” Red Robin muttered. His wrist computer was open, monitoring the surroundings of the open field they found themselves uneasily occupying. Batman grunted in affirmation, eyeing the tree line. Every hero except the magical ones were on look out, preparing themselves for one more battle against the two demons that were trying to take Raven and force her into becoming a portal.

“Hey guys, we might want to hurrythisupbecausethey’re kind of close!” Impulse slammed into the room.

“Done.” Zatanna got up, motioning for everyone to step back. In Superman’s case, he floated back.

“Too bad you won’t get to use it,” a voice drawled, dripping with malice and the screams of a thousand souls.

“Come now, little sister. Why fight fate? Be grateful father has deigned to spare you. If not for your dirty blood being useful, you would be dead, little sister. Give up, before our patience runs out alongside the lives of your little pets.” Another, mocking, voice gleefully rumbled.

Raven would rather gouge out her own heart than to claim these two as any type of family.

“You won’t touch them.” Raven snarled, powers rising even as the marks on her body burned a painful red.

“Buy us some time!”

With that, the group of beaten and battered heroes rose to clash against just two demons, for a chance to save their world.

——

The Circle crackled. Danny felt a tug on his core. He followed the thread of the summoning. Oh. It was his haunt. Earth 135. Hm. It tasted of blood. Desperation? A hint of anticipation. Oh, an overload of fear. Could use some more hope, but Danny understood that it was rather hard to season these kinds of summonings with hope.

“Stop.” Danny commanded, straightening in his chair.

“Sire, we have more-”

“There is an issue with my haunt,” with that, he followed the summons.

——

“Ugh,” was the first thing everybody on the frozen battlefield heard. The demons had smacked away many of the heroes, but they all turned as one when the circle lit up a bright green. “Why do you people always use blood? I’m dead, I don’t need any more iron!”

A boy

Raven’s eldest brother let out a hideous rumble. “You fools tried to summon the king, and you got a dead boy. And now, you’ve doomed another.”

Constantine looked resigned, and regretful. “I am so, so sorry,” he whispered. It was just a kid. John might be a lot of things, but even he found summoning dead kids for demons to devour was just a step too far. “Shite, we got the wrong fucking-”

“Hey, man, that’s rude,” the boy snapped back, waving John off.

“Brother, kill the whelp.”

“I vote on not killing the whelp. Not killing at all, really,” the boy stepped out of the massive blood circle, wrinkling his nose at the drying stains.

“This is not one of your pesky democracies, fool.”

In response, the demons lunged at him, ignoring the screams of the surrounding heroes as they shoved their human arms through the boy’s stomach.

“So,” the boy continues, “I heard your dad was after my haunt?”

“Your haunt, whelp? This earth shall be his! And through him, ours!” Raven slammed against the demons with her power, shadows enlarging and tossing them away from the unharmed… ghost boy?

“Is it?”

——

Wow, these demons are so rude. Normally, it’d be a breath of fresh air compared to the stuffy halls of his throne room. But since they’re attacking his haunt…

“Thanks. You’re… Raven, right?”

Raven nodded, arms outstretched in concentration as she held her brothers back.

“You have to go. We’re- we’re sorry you got pulled into this, but it’s not safe here.”

“Eh. It’s cool. You don’t have to do that anymore, by the way.” Danny stepped forward once more, green skin shifting and gliding as everything about him sharpened. He flew at the demons piloting the human shells, catching them around the necks and dragging the demons out of their stolen bodies. The threw them even further away as he floated in the air, a beacon of green and white. Raven thought it looked like hope.

“My name is Phantom, the High King of the Infinite Realms,” let it be known that Danny always had an eye for dramatic entrances. He shifted into something more off, more eldritch, more kingly. The crown flared to life above his head. “You have invaded my haunt. You have challenged me. What do you plead?”

“You’re not-” they said.

“Wrong answer,” Danny flew at them once more, body contorting into something undeniably terrorizing, his maw unhinging and crunching down on the demons with a sound that made the present heroes cringe.

“Ugh,” Danny grunted, turning back and floating peacefully to the group of heroes- Tucker and Sam would be so stoked he met Wonder Woman and Batman!- and chewed rapidly. He shifted back into his normal form. “Eating demons always leaves me with indigestion. And their bones get everywhere up in my teeth!” Danny pulled out a giant femur looking bone from his mouth, despite it not logically fitting in there.

“Right. No eating demons, solid life advice.” Red Robin said.

“Right? So, you’re Raven! It’s nice to meet you! Think you can summon your dear ol’ dad for me?”

“But we summoned you to stop Trigon, not help him come here.” Superman said, frowning.

“One! That summoning circle is wack. Those things you piled up as offerings? Mid. Also, if you thought you could control me with those terribly written spells, you’re dead wrong. And yes, I am making puns about death.” Danny jabs an aggressive finger towards the shabby circle.

“Have you considered that maybe not every being that can be summoned wants a shit ton of useless blood? Like what if I wanted food? And two, how am I supposed to beat up Trigon if he’s still stuck in the prison realm?”

“I have a cup of coffee,” Nightwing offered. “Kid Flash could probably get you food, right?”

“Yep, surethinganythingyouwantyourMajesty.”

“You wouldn’t catch me alive accepting food from a speedster. You people fuck up the timelines so much,” Danny grumbled, crunching on the last of Raven’s brothers. Raven thought she should probably sit down.

“But you’re dead.” Batman said, something about his voice catching the sharp attention of his protégés who all started making cutting motions at him.

“Fair,” Danny pointed at him, grinning. “I’ll take two pizza and Nightwing’s coffee as payment for taking care of your little demon overlord problem. Raven, summon your dad.”

——

Didn’t much like the characterization of this piece but it’s been in my drafts for a while and I needed it out

[docholligay]

Do you think authors sometimes don't realize how their, uh, interests creep into their writing? I'm talking about stuff like Robert Jordan's obvious femdom kink, or Anne Rice's preoccupation with inc*st and p*dophilia. Did their editors ever gently ask them if they've ever actually read what they've written?

Firstly, a reminder: This is not tiktok and we just say the words incest and pedophilia here.

Secondly, I don't know if I would call them 'interests' so much as fixations or even concerns. There are monstrous things that people think about, and I think writing is a place to engage with those monstrous things. It doesn't bother me that people engage with those things. I exist somewhere within the whump scale, and I would hope no one would think less of me just because sooner or later I like to rough a good character up a bit, you know? It's fun to torture characters, as a treat!

But, anyway, assuming this question isn't, "Do writers know they're gross when I think they are gross" which I'm going to take the kind road and assume it isn't, but is instead, "Do you think authors are aware of the things they constantly come back to?"

Sometimes. It can be jarring to read your own writing and realize that there are things you CLEARLY are preoccupied with. (mm, I like that word more than concerns). There are things you think about over and over, your run your mind over them and they keep working their way back in. I think this is true of most authors, when you read enough of them. Where you almost want to ask, "So...what's up with that?" or sometimes I read enough of someone's work that I have a PRETTY good idea what's up with that.

I've never read Robert Jordan and I don't intend to start (I think it would bore me this is not a moral stance) and I've really never read Rice's erotica. In erotica especially I think you have all the right in the world to get fucking weird about it! But so, when I was young I read the whole Vampire Chronicles series. I don't remember it perfectly, but there's plenty in it to reveal VERY plainly that Anne Rice has issues with God but deeply believes in God, and Anne Rice has a preoccupation with the idea of what should stay dead, and what it means to become. So, when i found out her daughter died at the age of six, before Rice wrote all of this, and she grew up very very Catholic' I said, 'yeah, that fucking checks out'.

Was Rice herself aware of how those things formed her writing? I think at a certain point probably yes. The character of Claudia is in every way too on the nose for her not to have SOME idea unless she was REAL REAL dense about her own inner workings. But, sometimes I know where something I write about comes from, that doesn't mean I'm interested in sharing it with the class. I would never ever fucking say, 'The reasons I seem to write so much of x as y is that z happened to me years ago' ahaha FUCK THAT NOISE. NYET. RIDE ON, COWBOY.

But I've known some people in fandom works who clearly have something going on and don't seem to realize it. Or they're very good at hiding it. Based on the people I'm talking about I would say it's more a lack of self-knowledge, and I don't even mean that unkindly. I have, in many ways, taken myself down to the studs and rebuilt it all, so I unfortunately am very aware of why I do and write the things I do most of the time. It's extremely annoying not to be able to blame something. I imagine it must be very freeing. But it ain't me, babe.

Anyway, a lot of words to say: Maybe! But that might not stop them from writing it, it might be a useful thing for them to engage with, and you can always just not read it.

Also, we don't censor words here.

[forestpixies]

no actually you’re either gentle parenting your child or you’re being emotionally and/or physically abusive to them, whether or not you’re aware of that.

because the term gentle parenting already includes discipline and teaching your kid right from wrong. gentle parenting doesn’t mean you can’t tell your kid no. it means you can tell them no when they do something they shouldn’t, but instead of punishing or yelling at them, you’re explaining and giving them reasons why they can’t do that, you are helping them learn and encouraging them to be better. gentle parenting means you’re using reasons built on mutual respect instead of anger. because yes, no matter how young your child is, they deserve respect too.

I’m sorry but most of the times when someone says they’re a strict parent, what it means is that they give their child childhood trauma that’ll last a lifetime, whether or not they’re aware of it. especially parents who brag to other people about how strict they are and how they punished their children.

and I’m sorry but saying you have a short temper is never an excuse to be emotionally and/or physically abusive towards your kid either.

“I yelled at you because I have a short temper” then why am I the one suffering? if you can’t control your anger, then get help. work on it. do better. be better.

also… your child standing up for themself against you, when you’re being abusive to them, isn’t them being disrespectful towards you. it means they are defending themself because you wouldn’t do that for them and so they had to step in and be their own protector.

if you’re a parent and can defend and stand up for yourself when you feel like you need to, but at the same time punish your kid when they stand up for themself against you, then you are the problem.

I was that child and I’m gonna make it as simple as I can for any parent out there — because no kid deserves to go through what I went through — imagine yourself owning a dog. really. you can either

a.) beat that dog whenever they do something wrong and simply take your anger out on them until they’re fully submissive and are terrified of you

or

b.) train them with love and gentleness and earn their love and loyalty in return

now imagine both A and B dogs on leashes and imagine them no longer being on leashes one day. which dog do you think will run away as far as they can and never look back, and which one do you think will stay because they love and want to be with their owner?

[pitchsidestories]

when grumpy met sunshine II Kika Nazareth x Reader

part 2 I masterlist I word count: 2382

It was the first day of training after the summer vacation marking the start of pre-season. With the new players coming in on the one hand and on the other hand the familiar faces it almost felt like the beginning of a school year. Everyone was buzzing.  

One of the fresh signings approached you quickly once she recognized you, her face lit up with joy and excitement.

“Hi y/n, I love your playing style and can’t wait to play with you!”, Kika Nazareth greeted you. God how you hated that footballer and her stupid smile. Also how dare she is saying that after what happened a year ago.

“Uhu, sure. It seems like you forgot what you did during the Champions League group stage games.”, you answered coldly.

“Huh, what do you mean?”, the Portuguese woman frowned confused.

“Forget it.”, you waved it off and rushed off leaving a very bewildered Kika behind.

“Don’t take it personally she never forgets anything really. Come on you need to meet the rest of your new teammates.”, Mapi padded empathetically the shoulder of the young forward.

“But I don’t get it, Mapi. What did I ever do to her?”, the brunette asked the defender, while her brown eyes followed you across the room. S

he was genuinely excited to play with you, if you hadn’t stopped her so abruptly the Portuguese might have said even more. How Kika loved the way you looked and.. she should stop thinking any further you clearly were mad at her, but why?

“I don’t know.”, the older Spanish woman shrugged equally as clueless.

“Weird.”, the forward mumbled.

“Let’s go the others are so thrilled to see you.”, Mapi tried to cheer her up.

“Hey, everyone.”, Kika begun anew, beaming at the teammates. Hoping, no praying, she wouldn’t cause a reaction like yours earlier. The dark haired forward didn’t want to ruin the first day at the new club anymore.

“Hi, welcome to the club.”, Claudia replied grinning.

“And thanks to special agent Aitana for this transfer who sadly can’t be here right now.”, Mapi continued, trying to soothe the fresh signing. It worked Kika did feel more relaxed in front of them.

“Guys calm down she still hasn’t proven herself in the team.”, you commented rolling your eyes, suddenly appearing next to Ingrid.

“I’m aware of how good this team is. But I’m sure I can help.”, the Portuguese swallowed hard, trying to sound as optimistic as possible.

“We’ll see about that.”, you shot back.

“Don’t worry you’ll.”, she promised. The football player was waiting for a response but once more you vanished without a trace. What a strange behaviour Kika thought to herself.

Thankfully Ellie delivered a much-needed distraction.

 “Kika? Ewa and I wanted to ask you if you’d join us for a coffee sometime soon? As we’re all new to the city.”  

“Yes, sure, I’d love that.”, she nodded happily.

Ellie beamed: “Wonderful.“

“Can’t wait.“, Kika smiled back at the young goalie.

Once again, you rolled your eyes and turned away from them to focus on your warm up.

You were one of the last to leave the pitch two hours later, thinking that you would have the dressing room for yourself. You did not expect Ingrid and Mapi waiting for you there.

“So?“, Ingrid said with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

You didn’t want to talk about your new team member so you decided to play along: “So what?“

With a half smile she finally formulated a question: “Why are you pouting?“

“I’m not pouting. Just annoyed by that smiley…“, you stopped yourself. You couldn’t come up with the right word for her anyway.

Mapi shook her head: “You’re not annoyed.“

At this point, you were starting to get annoyed with these two as well.

“Yes, I am. We didn’t need her in our team.“

“That’s not our decision though.“, Mapi shrugged.

You were about to say something but Ingrid was faster: “Y/n?“

You turned to her: “Yes?“

“Tell us why you’re mad at her.“

You heaved a frustrated sigh. They were worse than your parents.

“Remember when we drew against Benfica in Lisbon?“

Both of them nodded. Of course they would remember last years UWCL games. “Yeah?“

“What happened there? Why can’t you move on from it?“, Mapi asked.

Her girlfriend added: “Come on. It can’t be that bad. You can tell us.“

They looked at you with those soft eyes, all parent-like. Almost like your team psychologist.

The sudden urge to tell them disappeared completely so you just shrugged and grabbed your bag: “Whatever.“

You could feel their eyes on you as you left the dressing room, still in your workout clothes.

Ingrid looked at her incredulously: “Well, that was strange, Mapi.“

“Very.“, she agreed slowly.

As you went back to your own place, Kika and the other new players sipped on their coffees at a tiny little coffee shop.

“No, I’ll win her over with my charm, Ellie.“, Kika announced confidently. Even they had noticed the awkward tension between the two of you.

The English goalkeeper nodded slowly: “Sure you will, Kika.“

“Anyone wants some cake with their coffee?“, Ewa changed the topic. She had been eyeing the tasty looking sweet treats on display right from the start.

The Portuguese striker nodded: “Of course.“

“Can’t say no, they look delicious.“, Ellie laughed.

“We have to celebrate. It’s our first coffee date in our new home.“, Kika laughed.

Ewa stood up and agreed: “We do.“

She quickly returned with three different slices of cake so all of them could try.

“Knowing we play for such a prestigious club now feels great, right?“, she said as she sat the plates down on the table.

“This feels like a dream come true.”, the goalkeeper agreed with a dreamy look in her blue eyes.

It has always been something the blonde fantasized about since she was a little girl, playing for that club and now the fantasy turned into reality which she was forever grateful for.

When Ellie continued, she sounded serious. “Especially after the last year that I had.” The other two women knew about the stroke the English player had suffered.

That was why Kika pulled her into a soft hug whispering into the ear. You deserve to be here so much, Ellie.”

“Thanks. I’m happy that I got to start with you two.”, the goalkeeper smiled at her new teammates.

“Same. I’ve a feeling this will be a fantastic first season for us.”, Ewa replied enthusiastically.

“And we got each other if it’s getting hard.”, the Portuguese striker added.

“Yes, plus I’m sure even grumpy will like you eventually, Kika.”, Ellie remarked.

Immediately the smile vanished from the brunette’s face. “Not so sure about this. Apparently, I must have done something to her during our UWCL match last season.”

“But you don’t remember?”, Ewa questioned curiously. Quickly Kika shook her head.

“No.”

Although she tried her hardest to think what the striker could have done which made you hate her so much. Usually everyone warmed up under Kikas positive radiance, but you were her first exception, following her into her dreams.

In training Kika and you were much to your dismay supposed to be partners.

“Kika, I think Ill swap with Esmee.”, you declared.

“You can’t swap training partners.”, Mapi interjected in a tone which didn’t allow any dissent.

“Fine.”, you groaned. Even though you had played a few years in the first squad of Barca now aged 21 the defender was still like the big sister you never had, and you didn’t want to disappoint her. Even if it meant you needed to work with the person you disliked.

“Looks like you’re stuck with me.”, Kika observed, wearing a huge smile on her lips.

“Yes, with the one who showed me the middle finger last year.”, you muttered under her breath. Unfortunately, it was still loud enough for the striker to understand the words you were saying.

“I never did that!”, she objected loudly.

“Yes, you did.”, you responded.

“No way, I’d never do that.”, Kika insisted.

“And when you said something about the way I played.”, your voice trembled.

“That’s not true.”, the striker denied strongly.

“What’s true?”, you wanted to know.

“Nothing of what you think happened is true!”, she stated passionately.

Hearing her statement made your heart pound hard against your chest. “Are you saying that this is all a huge misunderstanding?”

Obviously!“, Kika said with emphasis and the slightest undertone of anger.

“Oh.“

You didn’t know what else to say. Was she telling the truth? Did it really only look like it at the pitch? Was it a gesture to you or her own teammate?

All the Champions League games seemed to blur together in front of your inner eye. Now you weren’t sure anymore.

“Wait… so you don’t hate me because I’m here and could potentially take your place in the starting squad?“, Kika asked.

You frowned at her: “No, we play two different positions. So why should I be afraid of that?“

“Because I know that you like to push forward too.“, she explained.

You stalled once again. You found it impressive that she had already analyzed your playing style.

You shook your head: “Yes. But I don’t hate your for that. I’m used to tough competition, Barca is my childhood club.“

“Okay… wow.“

“What?“

Kika started laughing: “I really thought you hated me because you had a good reason.“

At first you just glared at her for making fun of you but her laugh was incredibly infectious and you suddenly found yourself laughing with her.

“Stop laughing. This is a good reason!“, you told her as you playfully hit her arm.

“That’s not a good reason.“

“Come on. Focus on your exercise.“, you reminded her, still smiling.

Kika raised her hands defensively and grinned: “Okay, okay. Can’t make you mad at me again.“

“No. Also I have to maintain my grumpy status.“, you replied and tried your best to keep your face serious again.

Kika giggled: “Sorry, of course.“

“Good.“

“Don’t worry. I think I can handle your grumpiness.“

You squinted at her: “Might need some sunglasses to deal with your sunshiny attitude.“

“I know you love it.“, she winked at you. She really dared to wink at you!

You shook your head: “No, you’re still the most annoying person around here.“

“You don’t mean that.“

She was right. You didn’t.

Still, you continued to tease: “Are you sure?“

She flashed you a confident smile: “Yes.“

“Dream on.“

Kika shrugged casually and focused back on your partner exercise: “If you say so, y/n.“

After your talk, you didn’t feel that intense anger towards Kika anymore. Everything was a bit lighter once the misunderstanding was cleared up. It went even so far that you didn’t react with pure disgust when she asked you to room together at your first pre-season match against Hoffenheim.

“Can’t believe we’ve to share a room, Kika.“, you joked as you sat on one of the beds.

Kika threw herself onto the other one: “Quit complaining, you grump.“

You shrugged with amusement: “At least it’s just for one night.“

The Portuguese striker smiled: “You will survive. I’m a quiet sleeper.“

After you both changed into your pyjamas and brushed your teeth you happily let your head fall on to the soft pillow.

“Good night, Kika.”, you mumbled.

“Night y/n.”, the striker hummed.

Yet something was off, the heat in that southern part of Germany still hung in the room, plus Kika hasn’t stopped moving in her bed. 

“Can’t you sleep?”, you asked her with a heavy sigh.

“No, what about you?”, she returned the question, directing her gaze straight at you.

“Me neither.”, you admitted. There was some restlessness and tension between the two of you, it was almost unbearable.

“Do you want to talk?”, Kika offered kindly.

“Sure.”, you agreed softly.

“So, what keeps you up?”, the Portuguese wanted to know.

Even though the moonlight enhanced her features and made you think thoughts again you tried to avoid you started with a less heavy confession.

“The adrenaline of the win. I think I’ll never get tired of that feeling, what about you?”

You waited for her response, did you imagine it or did her cheeks turn red, it was hard to tell in the dark.

“Oh, yeah, I get that. I love it too. But there’s something else that keeps me awake.”, the brunette replied nervously.

“There’s? Are you missing Portugal?”, you listened up.

“A bit yes, but that’s not it. This might be a bad start for the new season, but there’s someone in this team that I think I’ve a crush on.”, Kika confessed.

“You do?”, you answered stunned.

“Yeah.”

For a moment you paused before the realization hit you hard.

“Wait, it’s me, right?”

“It’s yes.”, she confirmed quietly.

“That’s too bad because I.”, you begun.

“Oh, you don’t have to say anything, I get that. I didn’t want to ruin anything.”, the striker interrupted you quickly.

“No stop talking for a moment.”, you begged her, placing a finger of yours onto her lips. God, that woman really loved to talk, even though now the time clearly was for listening as you tried to demonstrate to her.

“I fell too.”, you added in a whisper.

“You did? Am I not way too annoying for you.”, Kika frowned.

“Yes, you’re and yet I’d like to kiss your mouth who loves to annoy me with it’s yapping.”, you grinned.

“You should give it a try maybe.”, she smirked.

“Maybe you can sleep better afterwards.”, you suggested playfully.

“Maybe we both can.”, your teammate wiggled her eyebrows.

“I’m sure of it.” First the kiss was cautiously before it was getting more intensely until you heard the door open loudly.

“Oh my god!”, Mapi yelled.

“Mapi, get out!”, you shrieked.

“I didn’t see anything. Promise!”, the defender gesticulated wildly. With that said she was gone as quick as the older woman came.

“This news will run like a wildfire, right?”, Kika chuckled.

“Yes, by tomorrow morning everyone knows.”, you groaned as she pulled you into a hug.

“I don’t mind that. They can know that grumpy and sunshine always belong together.”, she announced solemnly placing a soft kiss to your forehead.

[kanmom51]

Have Jikook changed?

My first post for 2025 and here I am, once again, making some points that I feel need to be made.

This is going to be a long one, so brace yourselves for it.

Now that I'm back home from my trip I felt like talking about this post I came by, more so talk about the ask in this post:

I wanted to address this issue that has been concerning some Jikookers over the past year.

This coming up over and over again:

"Jikook have changed". "Their relationship has changed". "They aren't the same", yadda yadda yadda...

Truthfully, this is not something new.

I heard this back in 2021. I heard it in 2022. I definitely heard it in 2023 (who didn't?) and even in 2024, which has me racking my brain seeing as to what they gave us with AYS, their choice of enlistment together and them, in the very few times we heard from them since they enlisted, making sure to tell us they are together (for all those that keep claiming they aren't), they are good, and as of late, JK letting us know they spend their free time together and sing while showering together everyday - yes - everyday.

ALT

I am aware of the fact that many of those voicing these claims are not and never were Jikookers. Amongst them you will find your proverbial cultists (you know exactly who I'm talking about), and antis of all sorts, including but not only JK and JM solos.

When I talk about Jikookers, well, I'm talking about supporters. And I use the word supporters because I do believe there is a stark difference between those who support JM and JK and their bond and love for each other, and shippers that at times are in this for their own gratification rather than support for those two young men. This self gratification can come in many forms. For example, one of them is feeding off drama. Needing JK and JM's relationship to have it's ups and downs. Needing there to be cheating and breakups and heartbreak, making it much more interesting and not just your run of the mill boring long term relationship, cause where's the fun in that?

There are also the 'insecure' Jikookers. These are those that need that constant affirmation from JK and JM, need them to 'prove' they are indeed together, that their bond is as strong as it has always been, that they are MORE than friends to each other. When this affirmation doesn't come they become unsure, start to question it all. And when a blurry no-faced 8 sec clip shows up, they disregard the timing of the clip landing, they disregard it showing up with clearly doctored other clips and pics, they disregard all the suspicious inconsistencies in that clip, including apartment placement, windows placement, furniture placement including objects that aren't supposed to be there, problematic supposed timeline of the filming. Apparently it's enough for there to be a few similarities (while ignoring everything that doesn't fit) for it to be a PROVEN clip of JK. I'm not even going into it being a totally innocent interaction that proves absolutely none of the vile things people, that were supposed Jikookers, were now saying about JK. Not to mention conclusions that were now made regarding JK and JM and their bond and relationship. One grainy clip had people dismiss years of interactions and words spoken by those two, including in 2023, including JK's lives, including JM flying out to be with JK in July, including JK's "I go the other way" TikTok and him coming live shortly after and telling us all that he does not have a girlfriend. Apparently JK supposedly hugging a woman makes him: straight, a cheater, in a relationship with a woman, a king of fanservice using JM to promote his own career.

Where does this insecurity stem from?

Is it because these are two very desirable men that could HAVE anyone they ever wanted, and how can it be that they chose to be in a monogamous relationship with another man for years and since they were literally teenagers? Is it even Homophobia perhaps (including internalised)? Is it due to lack of maturity or lack of experience or bad experience in love and relationships? Is it a combination of all of the above? IDK.

This is becoming long winded... I know I said this will be long, but this is me not even getting started on the points I wanted to make in this post.

Let me sum this up before I move on:

People love drama. People need constant affirmation, especially when it comes to a queer relationship between two hunks of men that are the wet dream of millions, regardless of their sexuality or gender. People have a hard time coming to terms with these two men being in a healthy loving long term relationship.

I guess it's time I started getting to what I wanted to convey here...

I wanted to talk about the whole "they changed" issue.

Because you know, I really struggle understanding what people actually want from JK and JM when it comes to that. What do they expect from them?

What their expectations would be of a straight couple.

What their expectations would be of a straight long term couple.

What their expectations would be of two straight superstars who happen to be in a long term relationship.

Insert the queer into that equation.

Insert queer closeted into that equation.

And now try to make sense of it all.

What do they expect of 2 mega superstars in a 10 year, more or less, queer closeted healthy monogamous long term loving relationship?

This is about the closeted queer relationship, but it's also about what exactly does a long term relationship look like. Healthy long term relationships, straight or queer. Because I do believe that there are too many who have zero idea of what that is supposed to look like. You know, in real life.

Do anons like the one in that post even know what that kind of a relationship looks like to make the claims they do?

There is a reason why so many people that are in such a relationship are recognising Jikook for it!!!

Oh, and btw, I saw their follow-up ask in which they 'explain' what they mean by "changed". Yeah, all the same same. Distanced, not seen together, not spend time together, enlistment together not an actual choice, yadda yadda yadda... Bull meet crap. Jikooker or not is irrelevant to the points I want to make, so I'm not going to get into it. What I want to talk about is Jikook's relationship. Or more so, what a healthy relationship looks like. Over time. As it progresses.

Key word being:

Progresses.

A relationship is dynamic. It grows. It changes. Even more so a healthy one. As the people in the relationship grow, mature, as both JM and JK did (seeing they started out in their teens or early 20s), so does their relationship. Not to mention it changing and adapting to the environment it's in, to realities that change.

A relationship that stays the same, it becomes stagnant. We change all the time. Our surroundings change. The people around us change. If the relationship itself stayed the same it would not survive the test of time.

2013 Jikook are not 2014 Jikook.

Jikook in 2015 are different than they were in 2014 (I mean, their dynamics changed and progressed during 2015 itself as well).

Jikook 2016 are not the same as they were in 2015.

Jikook dynamics in 2017 are different than they were in 2016.

And so on so forth. All the way into 2023 and 2024.

You cannot expect Jikook 2017 to be the same as Jikook 2019, and the same as Jikook 2021 and the same as Jikook 2023-4? And their relationship isn't existing in a vacuum. Untouched, uninfluenced or impacted by everything that is going on around them.

They grew, their environment and reality changed, and as such their dynamics changed and progressed.

Anyone that has followed those two, anyone that joined over time and has watched original content from the past 11 years has seen the progression of their relationship. And make no mistake. This whole "they aren't the same" didn't start in 2023. But it sure has become louder since mid 2021 up to today. There are many reasons to this, growth of the fandom being one of them, but I do believe the main issue was less Jikook content starting end of 2021, basically starting with Chapter two. Them going on their long break and then hiatus into their solo debuts. Less BTS ot7 content meant less Jikook time. Period. Jikook are allowed to be themselves more so when they have the protection of all 7 around them. So, during this period of time we mostly got the same interactions as before, only thing is that we got much less of them and into 2023 we got close to none. This drove people mad. It simply cannot be that the two have a relationship but we aren't allowed to see it, right? There is no way that they are spending time together and we don't know about it... If they aren't seen out together (more so if K-army are not telling us if they are), can they actually still be a couple? As a couple how can they not be fully involved in each other's solo careers, including letting us know that they are, right? I keep saying this, well, I've said it all the way back from 2021: Not seeing them doesn't mean they aren't there. And the two showed us exactly that. We got crumbs of it throughout 2023 but even more so in the end of that year. They have been seeing each other. Spending time at each other's places. Talking to each other about their music. Sharing their songs with each other getting their input. Each knowing the other's songs before released. Knowing as in even being able to sing or hum them. And the choice of enlisting together, the choice not to be separated for the 18 months of service. The choice to go into a fighting unit on the frontline being the price to be paid so that they can stay together. No, there is no comparison to Jin. Yes he was in a base that is considered to be close to the frontline, but he was an instructor in basic training, not a fighter in a frontline unit ready for battle at any given moment. As for the stories about JK not being able to enlist into Tae's unit. Nope. Not true. JK's tattoos weren't preventing him from getting into that unit. Not to mention, if it was that important for Tae to be with JK and the latter couldn't enlist into that unit, well you'd expect Tae to make the effort and enlist into a unit where they could be together, no? Kind of like what JM and JK did to be able to be with each other... There was a clear choice made - for JK and JM to be TOGETHER. The two of them. Period.

Again I digress.

What's wrong with me?????

I was going to talk about healthy long term relationships...

"Jikook have changed", "their relationship has changed". Well, DAH. Of course it has. That's what happens with an ongoing relationship.

If they hadn't changed then I would maybe have doubts, you know, "it's only a friendship" kind of doubts. Although, even friendships change with time (wouldn't that mean that a closer more intimate relationship with another person was prone to change even more so?). Or, like some 'Jikookers' like to talk about them being attracted to each other but never making that move beyond the attraction - yes, then we would be seeing pretty much of the same Jikook as in the early years, but we aren't. We are seeing exactly how a couple's relationship progresses overtime.

But from the little we are privileged to see, the little they allow us to, seeing that even though they are public figures they are still entitled to have a private life, their dynamics, they are clearly as close as ever and A-ok. The level of intimacy between them is beyond, and it's funny to me how so many missed how they stood out so clearly in AYS, but even more so in AYS Jeju. The stark difference between those two, their interactions, their tones with each other, the care towards each other, and then with Tae. It's both ways btw. Each of them towards Tae and Tae with each of them. Clear difference between friends and couple.

But let's move on from AYS, and specifically from the clear differences we saw in Jeju.

Let's talk about those "changes" these shippers, or "insecures" or antis are seeing. I read the comments to the post and I agree with many of them. And I also agree that in a way this anon here represents basic homophobic ideas. The thought of a healthy monogamous long term queer relationship is so unheard of for them that clear signs of exactly that are interpreted as the exact opposite. Clear signs of that calmness, settled in day to day routines, the even, for lack of another term, BORING contentment of a couple are being ignored because what? They themselves have zero idea what a healthy long term relationship looks like? Because they aren't really interested in JK and JM's happiness and want to see the drama, the push and pull, the teenage boy hard to hide or disguise attraction?

Well, I've got some news for those I mention above.

Relationships, the healthier they are, the more they change, adapt. To each other and to everything that surrounds them.

JK and JM grew up.

JK was 18 and JM 20 when things changed between them (in my book). They are now in their late 20s.

They matured. Their relationship matured.

And it adapted.

Adapted to everything and everyone around them.

It changed and adapted to the pandemic in 2020-21. JM struggled, JK was there with him through it all.

Hybe being created. Hybe going public. Hybe vying to buy SM. MHJ and the shit she's pulled, even way back in 2022.

BTS hiatus. Solo debuts.

All these have had an impact on their relationship. Not as to end it, but most definitley having to adapt to these new realities. And as a couple in this industry and a queer one as such, these all also had an affect on what they allowed us to see. Of them. Because of course these last ones impact what we are being allowed to see or hear. Of course there is much that is happening that we don't know, much that we don't get to see, much that we are not allowed to see.

Put all of those together and see where that puts you with regards to a 10 year long term relationship.

A couple in a healthy long term relationship makes for 2 people who share a level of intimacy shared with no others. It has it's ups and downs. They will be sarcastic with each other. They will bicker. They can be bitchy with each other. They will also be highly affectionate with each other. Caring, taking care of one another. Naughty and teasing and flirty with each other. The love is there. The attraction is there. But as time goes by and as they grow up it's more controllable. In a way, it can be referred to as SOFTER. Less edgy as it used to be in the early days. Less urgent perhaps would also be a way of putting it. Many like to refer to it as "domestic".

Jikook in AYS are all of that and more.

I also saw people claiming Jikook in AYS are clear evidence of that "change" they are talking about. And I sit here, running AYS through my head and trying to understand what the heck they're talking about, because AYS, all 8 episodes of the show, showed us just how GOOD Jikook are. As a couple. As a loving couple in a long term relationship. A long term relationship that's been going on since late 2015. A long term relationship that started out with two hormonal driven teenage (totally uncontrollable, lol) boys changing, adapting, growing into two almost 30 year old men (still hormonal, but with much more restraint around each other while on camera, lol).

**Side note: Something I haven't talked about much in this post, but the camera is also a huge part here (when it comes to AYS), one most of those who talk about that "change" seem to forget. Add the fact that although these two have lived many hours in front of the cameras over the years, those cameras haven't been a consistent presence in the past few years, unlike pre 2020. Not to mention that this is the first time the two have ALL of the attention on them and them alone. It's not a coincidence (like most things when it comes to those two) that the moment these people are latching on to is from the first few minutes of the first episode of AYS, as the two just embarked on the unknown journey of filming this show, that they didn't even know what it will look like and what to call at start. I wonder how these Jikook relationship critics would be behaving with a camera in their faces all while being in a closeted relationship... Let's not play stupid and not understand the ramifications of their relationship being 'outed', even more so before they are willing and/or ready for it.

**Another side note: Also, behaviours tend to change according to the situation. Jikook on stage with adrenaline pumping in their veins, all pumped up and less inhibitions are not the same Jikook when first starting to film only the two of them for a show going on a long looked forward trip together. JK's "finally" says it all. Many talk about that car talk, I said what I had to say about it in this post:

They love to latch on to those few words, once again ignoring 8 chapters that show us exactly what they are to each other, not to mention JK's mentioning multiple times how he enjoyed the trips and in the last episode telling us these were the BEST trips of his life!!

**Oh, another side note (if I'm already at it): Another thing people tend to forget is that what we got is the tip of the iceberg of their trips. There are hours of footage they spent together we didn't get to see, not to mention hours they spent together with the cameras off (we saw that they did have control at times over the cameras, if to have the turned on or off). What about their Tokyo time together, which we never got to see of? And if I'm already mentioning this, then I feel the need, once again, to mention that what we get to see on camera or even through sightings of sorts once in a while, is NOTHING compared to what we don't see of their lives. The assumptions made by so many that they don't spend time together during these times is mind boggling to me. Even more so when we KNOW otherwise from little glimpses we get, like: JK talking to himself off camera (yeah, you think that was not on purpose?) that JM changed the angle of his mood lamp; JK telling JM as naturally as can be that he'll get his toiletries together and come have a shower at his place (like he doesn't live minutes away from him and can't shower at his own place); JM spending time with JK the night he got back from LA , JK cooking him dinner, not sleeping all night, only to leave on their Jeju trip together the next day; JK having the code to the apartment at nine one allowing himself in like it's his own place... just a few examples...

Enough with side notes and back to Jikook changing.

Yeah, that car talk is something they love to bring up time and time again. All while ignoring the abundance of moments that show oh so very clearly just how much JM and JK are so very much the same two people that are still so very much together.

The loud naughty moments

The playful/ fun/ also a little naughty moments

The you are me I am you moments

Butt hitting, hair pulling

The JK mesmerised by JM moments

The soft intimate moments.

The soft "I'm there for you" moments.

The caring moments

The JK cooking FOR JM moments

The "I have no straight explanation for this" moments

Basically that whole hot tub/ cold tub episode was just....

There was so so much more, my image limit is done and dusted. I'm visualising a series of posts (needs to be a series because of this silly image limit) for these moments... all the above (seeing that these were just a few examples among many more instances) plus more more more, like the teasing and so very couplie "I will do the thing I know will get a kick out of you because I know you oh so very much" moments as well (just posted my AYS masterlist, but also, go watch the show again!!).

And yes, the bickering and sarcastic moments too, cause babe, there ain't no long term relationship without all of those. It's a package. It's real life people, not a scripted drama.

If you can't be real with the person you love, if you can't show them not only when you are happy and content but also when you are unhappy, including with them, then that is not a healthy happy relationship.

I sometimes feel like those who won't see Jikook for what they are and what they have are driven by fear. Fear of a same sex couple is a huge one, but not only. Fear of what a healthy relationship is. Fear of never having that kind of a relationship would also be up there. Fear of what a long term relationship is - this idea that a relationship has to be static and intense and not understanding that the safety and comfort and ordinary day to day existence doesn't take away from the love you have for each other, nor the passion, quite the opposite.

And for those that don't get that, I feel a little sad, seeing that their expectations of a relationship are unrealistic or toxic.

I will end with this making it super clear:

JM and JK may have changed over the years. Their relationship has progressed and changed over the years as relationships do.

What they mean to each other, what they are to each other remains unchanged.

[sfehvn]

new religion

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

Description: AU- Astarion is enamored by you, and while he fights it at first, he may have just found his new religion. A/N: Just a tad bit of sweet smut to be honest. This was my listen while I wrote if you were curious. Enjoy! xx Rating: M (18+ minors DNI) Word count: 2,069 Characters: soft!ascended!Astarion x fem!au!Tav

━─━────༺༻────━─━

  From the moment Astarion had seen you, he knew he had to have you. Walking through the animated city of Baldur’s Gate, your radiant smile was the first thing that had caught his eye. Flowing hair kissed your shoulders adorned with freshly plucked daisies. Your aroma was the most intoxicating scent that had graced his nose in all of his years. Your rose-tinted cheeks teased with the blood flowing beneath your flawless skin. Your eyes sparkled with wonder, reflecting the rays of the sun above. He had never been a believer in the love at first sight nonsense, yet there you were. If his undead heart could beat, he was sure it would be skipping against his ribcage. It was the only time the vampire had found himself utterly speechless. 

  For months, he watched from afar, finding excuses to go into town. Not that he had to excuse anything to anyone, but the newfound feelings were frightening, to say the least. Alas, day after day Astarion went out, whether for a drink or an unnecessary shop trip, and he would wait to get even the slightest glimpse at you. He was aware that this obsession was snowballing out of his hands as he fell harder and deeper. Hells, he had never even spoken to you. Yet he knew nearly everything there was to know. 

  He knew every other day you made your way to the apothecary to pick up medicines for your sick father, whom you cared for. He knew once every fifth day, you picnicked in the graveyard next to your mother’s grave. He knew your favorite color was yellow because it reminded you of the summers you spent with your mother before her untimely passing. You had six siblings: an older brother and five young sisters. 

  Astarion had also realized that you had a death wish, apparently. You were constantly staying out past sundown, running errands or helping neighbors. Did you even comprehend the dangers? He would often think to himself. Of course he had to follow you home to ensure you made it inside safely. You were becoming a liability to him, and quite frankly, he was terrified of how you made him feel. Just when he had decided to end this one-sided arrangement, there you were. Sat on the side of the road with tears pooling rivers down your cheeks, his body felt out of his control as he approached you.

  He stood in front of you, his words caught in his throat. You stared at him with those big doe-eyes, and his knees felt like jelly. “Are you alright?” He finally managed out. Gods, what am I doing? I should just sink my fangs into her and be done with it. It’s just bloodlust. This was something he had tried to convince himself of many times already- a lie.

  “Oh, yes.” Voice sweet and smooth, like the finest honey gold could buy. “Just this silly book.” You giggled, holding up the novel you had previously been engrossed in before Astarion had found you.

  “Right. Good.” He clears his throat in an attempt to regain his composure and still his spinning mind. “I’ll just be on my way then.” You nod, gifting that sweet smile to him. Astarion felt his legs would give out beneath him if he stayed longer, but he didn’t move an inch.

  The man intrigued you, ruby red eyes and skin pale as the snow that fell during winter. He was gorgeous. An aura of mystery surrounded him, and you were keen to discover those mysteries. “Say, you live in that big fancy manor?” You question, breaking the awkward silence that had befallen you two.

  “I do. Why?” Skepticism was palpable in his tone. 

  You disregarded his tone, and he believed it to be your naive nature. “You have the most exquisite daffodils blooming alongside your walls. I didn’t want to pick them without asking.” Your smile is sheepish, innocent. Astarion doesn’t speak, his face unreadable. “I-I enjoy putting bouquets together. I don’t mean to-” He already knew this, obviously.

  “They are yours.” Astarion can’t contain the smile that tugs the sides of his lips.

  As you two stroll to the location of said flowers, Astarion finds himself loosening up in your presence. He watches you intently, the way you move your hair from your face as you carefully pluck a few from the group. He urges you to take more.

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother. These are plenty.” You assure. In response, he crouches down next to you to help pluck the remaining flowers.

   After walking you home, Astarion ordered flowers to be planted around the grounds. With the help of just a little magic, within weeks, roses, peonies, sunflowers, and carnations bloomed healthily. You would come with a fresh serving of food, a bouquet as thanks, and collect the flowers. As naive as you were, you could recognize what Astarion was doing. The daffodils were a one-off in that area, but now flowers surrounded the entirety of his property. The rate at which they grew, too; you were aware some effort went into getting them to blossom so hastily. At every mention of a new flower, the next time you came, they were miraculously in bloom.

  This compromise had been in full swing for months when you finally questioned him about it. Astarion was on his knees as he snipped red roses from the bush, insistent on doing it himself so you didn’t prick yourself on a thorn. “Why are you doing this?” You question, a wicker basket that was already overflowing held firmly in your hands. 

  “I told you, you’ve nabbed yourself on these blasted thorns one too many times.” His reply came without a look in your direction as he continued to snip the stems.

  “That’s not what I meant.” A soft chuckle emanates from behind closed lips. He looks up at you in realization, his hands coming to a halt. Your breath catches in your throat as he stares at you wordlessly, longingly. Standing slowly, he takes a step closer to you. He drops the roses into your basket before cupping your cheeks, closing the distance between your faces. The kiss is electric. You drop the basket to your feet, arms snaking around his neck while he presses your body tightly to his, clinging to you like a prayer. His lips were a colder temperature than you expected, but they were soft and hungry. 

  That’s how Astarion ended up with you in his bed. As he eagerly ripped the pale blue dress from your body, you took note of the bouquets around his bed chamber. Every single one you had gifted to him was on display and in perfect condition. Your heart flits in your chest, eyes closing in ecstasy as wet kisses trail up the inside of your thighs. A soft moan is elicited from you as his mouth reaches your warmth, his tongue flicking teasingly along your slit. Your fingers thread into his stark white hair, instinctually tugging with every contact against your clit. Colors explode behind your eyelids from the euphoric excitement.

  He pulled away briefly, with his starving mouth against your thigh, he spoke muffled words, “I don’t think you realize how long I’ve been waiting to hear that, darling.” Your breathing quickens as you look down at him between your thighs with hooded, lustful eyes. His mouth returns to your clit and he suckles lightly, two fingers dipping into your dripping center. The sensation brings your back into an arch, aching to feel him deeper inside of you.

  The swirling motion of his tongue brings you close to the edge, your legs shaking mercilessly. Astarion’s free hand moves between his torso and your legs, holding them steady as he continues his work on your body. Just as you are about to cum, he places a final kiss on your mound before his eyes meet yours. “You’re much naughtier than I thought.” He tsked, crooning his neck at you before moving up your body.

  Your lips meet passionately, his tongue slipping effortlessly into your mouth to meet your own. He creates a gap between you as one hand holds him up, quickly removing his trousers and undergarments with his other hand. He pressed his bulge down onto your warmth, hitting your sweet spot as he grinds against you. “Do you taste how lovely you are?” He murmurs, plunging his tongue further into your mouth. You can only let out a delighted moan in response.

  Once he breaks the kiss, you press your slippery core harder against his erection. “Please fuck me.” You whimper lustfully, “Please-” Your words are cut short by the sensation of him rubbing the head of his cock against your clit, causing a delicate moan to leave your throat.

  “Fuck. You’re soaked, my darling.” He coos. As much as Astarion wanted to continue to play with your body, he needed to be buried in you as quickly as he possibly could. He slides the head of his member from your clit, pushing slowly into your welcoming embrace. He savors every sensation as he enters you. There is a momentary flicker of pain on your face as you adjust to his size, and he falters for a moment.

  “Have you done this before?” He asks quietly, pressing his forehead to yours, avoiding your throat to save himself from temptation. He cursed himself inwardly for even asking; he shouldn’t care. This woman brought a side out of him he had never met before- a softer side. The scariest part is he actually, well, liked it.

  You wavered for a second before shaking your head, confirming that he was indeed the first man to have ever been in such a position with you. The thought makes him feel feral. Such a sweet flower trusting someone like him to take your virtue; he would never admit it to anyone, but honor and pride swelled in his chest. He nodded in acknowledgment, “We’ll go slow, pet.” He reassures, hips rocking delicately into yours as he fills you with as much of him as he can manage without causing you discomfort. He lays a gentle kiss on your forehead as your pain turns into pleasure, still-shaking legs wrapping to engulf his hips.

  “A-Astarion.” His name sounded like a hymn gracing his ears from your mouth, and he wanted to devour you right there and then. It took everything in him not to plow you into the bed. His hand rests on the bedframe as he finds a comfortable rhythm, eyes never leaving your face. He wanted to soak up every reaction to his touch.

  “You drive me crazy, pet.” He grunts as his pace quickens, gripping the mahogany wood tighter at the magnetic pleasure buzzing through his body. He uses his free hand to effortlessly move you further up into a slightly seated position as his thumb once again finds your clit to draw purposeful eights over it. 

  “I-I’m- Oh my gods-” The moan is loud, music to his ears as your walls tighten around his cock.

  “That’s right. Be a good girl and cum for me.” It’s a stern demand, all to mask just how close Astarion was himself. His words push you over the edge, your body clinging to his for support as the euphoria rushes over you. Every hair on your body standing on end, you throw your head back and scream Astarion’s name thrillfully. 

  With you coming undone, he allows himself to reach fruition, his seed filling you to the brim. His hand on the frame loosens, and his head hangs, face full of gratification. He looks down at you, pulling his now-soft member from you, a satisfied sigh leaving your lips as you stretch contently, much like a cat. Your eyes were droopy, a giddy smirk on your face as you fought to keep them open. Astarion chuckles, pressing another kiss to your lips. “You can sleep, my darling. I’ll wake you in a little.”

  Astarion swore he felt the tiniest tinge of warmth in his heart at the sight of you so comfortable cuddled into his side as you dozed off. This could be a welcome change. Maybe his undead life just needed his very own light, his own sun. All he knew was that he was done fighting it. One weakness couldn’t hurt.

[krewekreep]

Baby Daddy Red Flags: Bleach Edition (😜🤍)

This one…this one for the sluts! 😭💕 I’m an old anime bitch like lemme get it out my system! (We gonna tag this #ToxicTalk lmaoo, this is a safe space)

(If you wanna know who we share 😒, I’ll add an asterisk or whatever. ((They still mine first 😂💝🫡)) (will update and repost with new additions, semi-live post)

***ICHIGO: Lemme get my baby daddy out the way. Biggest issues would be his availability before and after the kid. Probably got pregnant in a makeup sex situation anyway. Ichigo doesn’t seem to type to breakup but will say let’s break. Based on how selfless he is it also can be seen coming from him not being able to save his mom—so he may have a savior complex. It may seem valiant at first like “oh wow you became friends with Chad helping him with bullies? You became closer to Orihime (😒) after helping her grieve her brother? You’re such a good person!” Til you realize seniority is in place and when his friends call he drops whatever he is doing to go help. It’s been time, money, etc and increasingly his selflessness comes off as codependent. Like he can’t stop trying to make up for something that wasn’t his fault.

He will also randomly reserve to right to become reclusive. Not necessarily secretive but less energetic, talkative, or engaged. (You def realize your baby got some functional depression going on. Iykyk). Might not annoy you but the random times he doesn’t want to be touched or seemingly avoids you does hurt…but he sincerely comes back letting you know he was in a weird space etc.

Ichigo’s biggest yes or no is if you’ll be able to sometimes come second or third (likely til you marry and/or have kids with him.) His father and sisters are absolutely #1, his friends are #2, and his oath to the Soul Society and humanity at large is a consequence of him protecting the first two so that’s of course #3. See where I’m going? Even on your best days you might be upset he runs off to Rukia’s or Orihime’s aid. That he has to “save the world,”to save you too. Jealous types might really become frustrated with Ichigo. And tbh I don’t see him breaking out of his ways. He won’t see a need to because there’s real results of his good deeds in his life. He knows he’s saved lives, so he knows he can continue to—so will you be able to handle the fact his duty and mindset will be self sacrificing? I don’t know I think I’d tie him down with a baby and move on.

**KENPACHI: I fully accept and am attracted to his animalistic tendencies. I absolutely can admit that about myself 😭 but…realistically you’d def have to tell him he’s too rough during sessions. He’s grown up wayward, defensive, survival mode, stomach touching his back— during a time so seemingly historical and old who knows how bad the conditions of poverty were—most kids died if they simply weren’t rich and able to eat. Or turned to crime at extremely young ages or exploited….That’s just global history in real life. And the soul society is that much more complex and arduous. Kenpachi will be a man of few words but immense action. If you want someone who will open up even eventually that is not Kenpachi Zaraki. You will highly likely never know of his past because he will never say he is excruciatingly doing everything to never have to. And no, he won’t communicate ever if anything terrible is on his mind. Although kenpachi is coded as barbaric he really is just that protective—he’s as angry as he will be based solely upon someone’s proximity to him emotionally. You and Yaru will be so exclusively held in a regard he won’t even understand. Just the black hole of his awareness he’ll surpass anything to save y’all. He won’t speak on why Lady Unohana isn’t around anymore (new anime, manga lore). But again, when he ends up rough too many nights in a row you distance yourself from him. He can’t admit to you he disassociates and goes back to bad times. He can’t tell you your comfort and warmth makes him remember the times he needed it before—he doesn’t mean to hurt you but he lives for a fight. But he wants to stop making everything and everyone something to “conquer.” He’ll be a real deal handful and it will solely up to you to either tell him you can’t be with him until he figure shit out or you’ll stick beside him and work through it together. (In this case Yaru is the “kid” yall share, I see him being weary of birthing a child and being a dad in such a “visceral” way. Will have total abandonment trauma and just can’t see him getting over it completely to bring new life into a world he already sees the worst in tbh.) but in terms of “baby momma” treatment? Or your prioritized and protected best believe. 💕 he also will force you to learn combat cause you should be able to take care yourself too. Which might either be hot or burdensome. You’re gonna know how to fight. And tbh he might try to bring it into the bedroom on some weird let’s play fight shit so watch yourself. That’s a BIG MAN! 😭😂💕 “HA! Now that you know how do a few things why don’t you test it on me?” Big cheeky sneaky ass grin girl don’t fall for it!

BYAKUYA: This is the guy who will match your freak everywhere but in public. No PDA—actually don’t even look at him or try to talk to him in public…be professional. He will be joking with others and you’ll get upset saying “Hey! You let the other members of the society tease you?” And in private he’ll admit it’s just to keep up appearances and he hates it all. 😭 I think his biggest issue will be coming off fake or disingenuous or you’ll have a hard time sincerely seeing him cause he’ll be so different depending on where y’all are. People wouldn’t know he’s like a mom boyfriend who makes sure you eat, sleep, and keep up with yourself. Yes, he will absolutely unintentionally say something insulting like “This doesn’t suit you. Find something else.” And yes he will be very clearly on guard when in public. People will openly wonder why you’re with him tbh. Which will frustrate the both of you of which neither of you ever bring up to the other. Byakuya has lost a love before—he won’t talk about it ever. You MIGHT get something out of Rukia about it cause it was her sister but I doubt she’ll go super intimate about THEIR relationship cause she respects both his and her sister’s privacy. So you might be stuck on an eavesdropping side quest with Renji that amounts to nothing cause he’ll sense yall. He’ll be amused and somewhat touched you wanted to watch him work though. He’s usually the one keeping check or track of things so he’ll never say he likes that you peep on him and mind his business. You care about him and he knows he’s a bit unfair not allowing any PDA. But he so openly loved on Rukia’s sister he couldn’t help the shameful self imposed embarrassment once he had to walk the halls alone…Byakuya will be a very intentional, quiet lover. I doubt he’ll moan very much tbh unless he’s exhausted and allowing you to take care of him. Sometimes he’ll absolutely disappear all day into work. Other times he’ll be sure to direct his underlings to wait on you in his stead. He’s more manageable if you can accept his sometimes snarky, distant, super private ways. As a father he’ll be annoyingly big on exceptionalism and them being smart and talented. You’ll have to be sure he isn’t burdening your kid when you aren’t around. And you’ll have to be sure he doesn’t inadvertently impart his insensitive habits too. Likewise, you’ll ABSOLUTELY have to “deal or no deal” him about giving affection to your kid in public. You will absolutely have to go off and tell him it’s y’all or his image. And yeah now he’s holding both yall hands albeit defeated. 💕😭

AIZEN: Shit…girl (im black my “girl…” is gender neutral don’t be annoying 💕) you already know what it is. Yandare, selfish, self righteous, MEAN, EVIL…but fine and rich as fuck. 😔🫤 it will be a doozy to be with this one. You literally have to know and accept what you getting into bestie. I can’t even warn you, you know! 😭 but seriously if your an aizen bias you accept him as is 😭 psycho ass. So I wanna just write how’d he be as a baby daddy. Now not to get…too mature…but if you happened to be someone captured/kidnapped by him and pregnant…baby you is a victim! BUT ITS FANFIC SOOO if you were the captured baby momma that’s in his realm with him…well girl you in the realm lord you stuck. “Can I go to the human world?” “For what?” “Uh, sun?” “Humph what do you need sun for…” He’ll look down at your crying child and be like “Ugh okay whatever but Grimmjow is your chaperone.” And you won’t care cause Grimmjow lets you run off and live life. Which Aizen knows but the minute you aren’t overtly scared and submissive to him he’ll lose his weird sense of “power.” You’re man crazy bestie. He’s definitely someone you won’t talk back to until you’re a parent and equally going to advocate for your kid. He’ll realize and laugh to himself “Their not really submissive at all…little minx…” and hold you in completely new regard. “So you took me as is because you wanted to?” He’ll start thinking shit that confuses him and decide to randomly kill a grunt to distract himself like no he’s not gonna reflect into a better person. 😂 you’ll have everything you want cause you can’t go nowhere 😭. Mind you yes the sex is mind blowing so you sadly do take what positives are there…his eyes don’t fall sexually to anyone but you. His body doesn’t respond certain ways to anyone but you. And as you stand next to him more and more he’s leaning into you and your baby’s energy rather than tryna to overtake yall with his. Just don’t speak about the change and it’ll be fine. The minute you tease or openly acknowledge his becoming softer and less controlling you’ll ruin all the progress you made. Let him feel like he’s in control or whatever.

New Additions (1):

Hitsugaya: (adult of course) Hitsu will be a blend of Byakuya and Ichigo. The best aspects of him will be how attentive and actionable he is about his love for you. But — he will shy away from PDA and sometimes have moments of separated solitude. Unlike Byakuya, he will absolutely open up to PDA, just will never be the initiator of it. Maybe grab your hand at the end of the day to hurry back home or stare at you as long as he can while he observes your dutiful working. He’ll be shy always which keeps your love feeling young and refreshed. You’ll always be able to make him blush and unlike Ichigo, he’ll warm up to you imposing yourself on his alone time. He’ll be big on love making and planning when to have a child so it will be less spontaneous. He’ll have the baby registry and wishlists prepared, printed, and passed out to members of the Soul Society. He’ll enjoy trips to the human world to acquire new toys and trinkets for your baby.

As a baby daddy he’s almost too protective. You wonder what he’s been through as he’ll have a firm grip of your hips as you cradle your child. He’ll have a habit of looking at your baby and then between the both of you stunned at how he can see the perfect blend of your features on your child’s face. He’ll be very close to a simp honestly (which I’m a fan of) and be at your beck & call no matter the hour. Definitely the dad to tell you don’t worry about tending to the little one, keep resting cause he knows how tired you get. He’s honestly the perfect idea of a new father as he’ll be bumbling a bit but with so much to prove. I realize I kinda didn’t write red flags cause I truly see Hitsu adjusting to parenthood and a long term relationship the best. Only thing I can think is that he’ll be overtly willing to sacrifice himself for your family’s safety. So any massive issue in the Soul Society will make your heart sink a little because while he’s capable he’s been in enough life threatening predicaments to cause ample, appropriate worry. He’ll be hard to break out of working I think until your child starts schooling which could be frustrating cause he’ll overcompensate parenting in lieu of his work commitments. Overall, I think he’d be the baby daddy with the least to really worry about.

Renji: Oh lord— all tea, all shade this man will STRUGGLE. « What do you mean the baby is hungry AGAIN ? You just breastfed! WAIT DO NOT PULL YOUR TIT OUT IN PUBLIC WOMAN ! » He’ll have a hard time adjusting to your freedom as a breastfeeding mom for sure (if you choose to). Work ? What’s work? One thing you can count on is that he will absolutely commit to being a family man and even a stay at home dad. He’ll take all his PTO or even « quit » (basically will say don’t call me to help unless the Soul Society is about to die.) He will wait on you hand & foot because he can’t imagine how much your body and mind has gone through and the strength it takes to be so tired but smile and laugh with him and your kiddo. But, he may end up a bit controlling about you leaving the house without him. He’ll either become a sad puppy or an angry old man. « Baby…what do you mean you want me to stay home ? 😓🥺 » or «  Woman, what did I tell you about going out without me ? What if a crazy person tried to rob you ? » You laugh at him always being some level of dramatic but it may get annoying how clingy and worried he’ll become. You’ll have to remind him you lived this long for a reason…and plan to live longer, so he can chill out sometimes cause his worried nature worries you…you might benefit from guilt tripping him into apologizing and giving you a breather on leaving the house. But just know someone is watching over you. Renji would be a great cook or a terrible cook who improves over time. He might be great at catching the baby right when they poop or…end up shat on rushing to a sink. I really see him either being weirdly good at being a dad or definitely suffering from the learning curve.

Your baby will definitely be conceived in a wild love making, (maybe rough, passionate sex) session. And you’ll catch him blushing when he holds your baby and looks at you remembering the night you had. You’ll be the type to walk in on them sleeping crazily on the sofa, his arm instinctively holding your baby firm. He’ll be grateful to not have to jump up to go to work honestly. His biggest red flags will be being overbearing, needy, and likely requiring a lot of overt reassurance. (Which isn’t necessarily a red flag given he just will want to be a really good dad and partner.) Otherwise he’ll become a stubborn dad who will try (and fail) to « put his foot down. » Which will likely result in him sleeping on the sofa…💕

[mavrintarou]

[3:19 PM] - Suna Rintarou

Gotta head out - be back later to edit... or not. Enjoy!

Warning: smut . Aside from volleyball, Rintarou was naturally gifted with the camera.

He had captured some of the most exquisite and breathtaking photographs of Y/n, making it look like they were professional shots.

He also possessed a collection of the most embarrassing shots, which he kept strictly to himself. There were also a few special ones that were meant for his eyes only, capturing intimate moments between them.

He was a very active Instagramer – posting quite frequently for his million followers, but he kept his relationship out of public eyes.

When Rintarou created a TikTok account, his followers grew by the day.

He would capture a wide range of videos, from documenting his volleyball training sessions and games to showcasing the delicious lunches Y/n packed for him. He even recorded moments of making his coffee, creating a collection of glimpses into his daily life.

Each time he makes a video, Y/n gets a notification, and she entertains herself with them.

“My baby made me some Korean food today,” he sniffs his bento, groaning. “I told her I’ve been craving some Korean food, and… she loves me so much.” He stuffs his mouth with a Kimbap. “You guys ask if she makes me lunch every day – yes. Does she not work or… is she a stay-at-home partner?” He shoves another Kimbap into his mouth. “She’s definitely an independent woman who earns her own money and won’t allow me to support her like the best boyfriend I am…” he narrows his eyes directly at the camera, “she always watches my videos, so – please tell her that it she needs to let me treat her like a queen.”

Y/n burst out laughing and clicked on the comments.

Suna’s girlfriend, please allow Rintarou to treat you like a queen!

Can we get a glimpse of her?

She is so lucky!

You’re so lucky; your food looks so good!

Y/n narrows her eyes at the first comment.

You’re so hot, Rin; please fuck me!

Y/n clicked on the person’s profile of a young woman.

Curiosity got Y/n going through Rin’s other videos to view the comments. She saw the same account commenting on every one of Rin’s videos, saying something inappropriate.

.

Rin checked his phone as he slipped his shirt on.

He was still waiting for a message from Y/n.

Though it wasn’t unusual, it felt odd that she didn’t text or react to his video.

She always commented or reacted to his video.

Did she not see it?

But it clearly said Read 2:35 PM underneath the message.

Without wasting another moment, he made his way toward their apartment, a sense of urgency guiding his steps. Sitting behind the wheel, waiting at a red light, he drummed his fingers anxiously on the steering wheel. The unsettling feeling gnawed at him, the sense that something was amiss between them weighing heavily on his mind.

While they didn’t frequently engage in conflicts, he made a conscious effort to minimize arguments, fully aware that disagreements are a natural part of any relationship. Over the course of their four-year journey together, they encountered only a few instances where tension escalated. However, despite needing some time to cool off, they always found a way to come together and discuss their concerns. They were committed to understanding each other’s perspective and exploring ways to grow and improve for the sake of their relationship.

And have hot makeup sex.

Rintarou jams the button to his floor in the elevator impatiently. Of all days, it seemed like the elevator door was being an asshole and taking its merry time to get him up to his floor.

“Y/n!” He shouts once he enters his apartment.

“Yes?” her sweet voice calls from the kitchen.

She doesn’t sound upset or mad, he thought. He quickly toes off his shoes and drops his gym bag in the living room to head to the kitchen. His heart relaxes a bit, finding her in the kitchen preparing dinner.

But he was still a little nervous and wasn’t entirely convinced she wasn’t upset.

He goes to wrap his arms around her waist, kissing her cheek and resting his chin on her shoulder. “How was your day?”

“Good,” she answered, “you?”

“Tired,” he answered as usual, “but a little… nervous.”

She finished whatever she was doing before washing her hands, the both of them doing a funny dance towards the sink because once Rin clings on to Y/n, it is no use trying to get him off.

“Go wash your hands and sit down; let’s eat.” She hears his sigh before he lets her go, and she watches over her shoulder as he pouts towards the sink to wash his hands and takes a seat in his usual spot.

Y/n leans against the counter, watching him zone out sitting there. Rintarou may be hard to read on the court, but Y/n could read him anytime.

Something weighed heavily on him, and his emotions spilled out much like a toddler’s when they couldn’t express their feelings.

He doesn’t realize Y/n has yet to set the table, “why are you nervous?”

He gazed up at her with a lost expression, his voice barely above a whisper. “You didn’t react to my video,” he murmured, seeking an answer with a hint of disappointment in his tone.

Y/n arched an eyebrow at him, suppressing a chuckle. “What?”

“You didn’t react to my video today… did you not watch it?” he inquired with a  tinge of concern. “Did I say too much in the video about you?” The renowned and notorious Middle Blocker for EJP Raijin resembled an anxious child, desperately seeking reassurance if he had done the right thing.

Y/n furrowed her brows, a realization dawning upon her as she acknowledged her lack of response to his video. “Oh, Rin,” she chuckled softly, moving closer and straddling his lap. Tenderly cupping his face, she pressed her lips against his pout, kissing it away. “I did watch it, but I must have gotten carried away reading the comments,” she explained, her tone apologetic. Her eyes narrowed as she mentioned one particular fan. “There was this one fan who was quite vulgar towards you,” she continued, her voice hinting disapproval. “I didn’t like it one bit.”

Something flickered in his eyes, and Y/n couldn’t help but roll her eyes, anticipating his reaction. “Are you… jealous?” he asked a hint of amusement in his voice.

There it is.

“No, I’m not. I don’t need to be jealous when I already have you.”

Rin kisses her throat and nips the skin there. “You’re right; I’m yours, all yours, just as you’re mine, right?”

“Hmm,” Y/n runs her fingers through his hair before gripping a fist full and tilting his head back. “All mine.”

His eyes widen for a split second before they squeeze shut when Y/n trails her tongue along his jaw and down his neck. She was not one to mark him in prominent areas, but tonight, she showed no mercy to his neck.

“Y/n…” Rin groans ten minutes later. His hands grip her hips, desperately guiding her to rock herself over his lap. “’nough…”

She pulls back and admires her work; now she knows how Rin feels. She leans to peck his lips and lifts herself, “all right, let’s eat!”

“What!” His grip on her hips tightens, “no way, you can’t leave me like that.” He looks down at his crotch; the outlining of his thick cock is visible against his joggers.

“But… our food will get cold?”

Rintarou chuckles, “no way, baby, food can wait… not me.”

Y/n squeal when he pushes her onto the table, grabs the end of her yoga pants, and tugs them off in one go. He pulls her panties aside and pulls cock out enough to slowly thrust into her pussy.

“Ah… Rin,” she moans, gripping the edge of the table. “Fuck… yes…”

His thrusts are slow and deep. “You had me worrying for no reason…” he leans over and grips her jaw to kiss her deeply, “I’ll show them – “ he speeds up his thrusts, “I’ll show them I’m yours… only yours….”

All the rubbing and rocking over him stimulated her, and Y/n was close until Rin pulled out of her. “Rin?”

He maneuvers her onto her front side and smacks her ass before getting down on one knee. He pulls her panties off and smothers his face into her core, slurping, sucking, and biting.

“Rin!”

He squeezes her cheeks hard, taking a bite on each side before standing back up, “need to mark you as mine too…” he guides his cock back home and thrusts fast and hard.

Their kitchen echoes with skin slapping skin and the kitchen table squeaking.

“I’m so… I’m so close baby…” Rin groans, and seconds later, hips jerking and cock spasming as he cums inside.

Rin withdraws; his eyes are fixated and anticipating as his cum drips out.

A minute later, after catching each other’s breath, Rin whispered, “baby?”

Y/n turns to look over her shoulders, clearly in bliss. “Yes?”

“Bed?”

“Yes, please…”

.

“Today, my baby packed me my favorite… jelly fruit sticks!”

Y/n sipped her morning coffee and tapped the heart on the video before clicking on the comment button.

Those are my favorites too!

You’re like an excited schoolboy about their lunches!

Is no one going to talk about it?...

Suna-san… what are those marks on your neck?

Are those… hickies?

Those are definitely hickies… wow… his girlfriend is kinky…

. . .

@hellatrashdontask @queenelleee @wrongimagine @eadyladlegard @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @satoritendoucultsacrifice @yourgonvermnethooker @littlemochi @cloud-lyy @pana-dolle @basmamme @haitanifxn @itsroseally @warrior-of-justice @jmnfilter @captainchrisstan @omissanitizerlol

[silverynight]

Recharge

Based on the mha manga finale

"Your childhood friend is taking too many extra shifts; he'll pass out soon at this rate."

Aizawa does that a lot lately; he casually walks into Izuku's classroom or his office, only to drop random information about Katsuki. It's usually something Aizawa disapproves of.

Izuku sighs, looking up at the window from all the essays he has to grade. Lately, Katsuki is making him worry too much.

The funny thing is that Aizawa believes he has some secret power to make pro hero Katsuki stop or change his mind; sure, they're friends, and he often listens to Izuku (yes, he also pays him a lot of visits) but it's not like the young teacher can work miracles.

"I'll talk to him," he promises. This time, he needs to think about something to make him take a break. He doesn't want Katsuki to end up hurt during one of his missions because he's too tired to focus.

Izuku spends a couple of minutes staring down at his phone; thinking about what to text Katsuki. The truth is that they see each other pretty much every week, and he's the one who usually asks Izuku if he can go to his apartment or hang out with him.

Izuku never reaches out first and it's not because he doesn't want to; the only reason he doesn't ask Katsuki to come is because he's aware how hard it's for pro heroes to make time for social stuff. Besides, he doesn't want to bother him.

Now, it's been two weeks since he last saw Katsuki; Izuku has been thinking about it even before Aizawa approached him, but he refused to mention anything about that to Katsuki because he didn't want to annoy him. He had decided to wait because it was obvious Katsuki hadn't contacted him for a reason.

However, if it's because he's been overworking himself on purpose, Izuku needs to make him stop before he collapses or at least try to talk to him out of it.

Hi, Kacchan!

Do you have time today to hang out with me? We can stay at my place and order takeout!

He sends it before he regrets it. Izuku bites his bottom lip, but forces himself to look at the works he's grading because he seriously needs to get back to it.

Katsuki answers just a few minutes later, and it's a bit surprising considering how busy Aizawa said he was.

I have another patrol later today. I won't be free until 2 am. But maybe I can come over in two days?

Is it his second one in a day or his third? Izuku's mind fills itself with anxious thoughts and wonders when was the last time Katsuki had a proper night's sleep. Why is he overworking himself? Pro heroes make good money, he shouldn't be struggling financially...

He doesn't ask any of those questions or tells Katsuki to reschedule. Izuku has no idea why Aizawa is always so sure he can make Katsuki change his mind. His friend has more important things to do now; honestly, it's a miracle he finds the time to hang out with Izuku once a week.

He shouldn't insist, but Izuku decides to be honest.

Don't worry about it! We can see each other when you have more time!

I just miss you, that's all! Good luck with your patrol, Kacchan!

Izuku leaves his phone next to him on the table, takes a deep breath, and gets determined not to worry about his friend for a while.

An hour later, he gets another text from Katsuki.

Ashido is going to take that last patrol. I'll be at your place at 6 pm.

Izuku grins before going back to his own work, determined to finish everything by 5; he'll have enough time to take a shower and tidy his apartment a bit before Katsuki arrives.

Just when he's done with the essays, he gets another message.

I miss you too.

Izuku has to cover his face after that one; he's not sure why it makes him blush.

***

Izuku is more or less satisfied with his work when there's a knock at his door. Katsuki is at the other side, hair still dripping wet from his shower, wearing casual clothes and carrying a few boxes of takeout.

"Kacchan!" Izuku beams, making his friend smile in response. He takes the boxes from his hands and walks towards his little kitchen as the pro hero takes his boots off and leaves them at the entrance.

He's still way taller than Izuku, even without the boots.

"You brought katsudon!" The excitement in his voice is obvious, but he doesn't try to hide it. "Thank you, I–Kacchan?"

He turns around, only to be pulled into a tight embrace; Katsuki tilts his head down in order to nuzzle against Izuku's green curls. He takes a deep breath.

"I missed you so much, nerd," he mumbles, sincerely, almost like he can't stop himself from doing it.

Izuku giggles, hoping the blush on his cheeks is not too obvious, and he tries to step away, only for Katsuki to pull him right back into his arms with a grumpy huff.

"Wait. I need to recharge," the pro hero insists, resting his head on the teacher's shoulder. "Alright. I'm better now. Besides, you must be hungry."

Only when Izuku takes a few steps back he notices how tired Katsuki actually looks. There are shadows under his eyes, his face has a few cuts, and Izuku just knows his muscles must be killing him.

Narrowing his eyes, the green haired teacher cups his friend's face, watching as Katsuki closes his eyes and surrenders into the touch.

"I'll fix those scratches, and I bring you something for the sore muscles. Sit here," Sometimes Izuku gets a little bit bossy when he's worried, but he doesn't realize it until it's too late.

Besides, Katsuki never complains, in fact, he does as Izuku asks without hesitation.

After he patches the pro hero up, trying not to get distracted by his intense stare, Izuku sets a few plates and arranges the counter so they can eat together.

They eat mostly in silence, although it's difficult for him to focus just on his delicious food because Katsuki keeps staring at him.

His face is slightly warm, and he gets so flustered he decides to talk about his students and then ask about Katsuki's day.

When Katsuki starts mentioning his shifts and patrols, Izuku decides to bring up the topic that has been worrying him the most.

"So you've been taking extra shifts?"

Katsuki nods, exhaustion visible on his features.

"You should take a break, Kacchan. Maybe a day off."

"I'm fine."

Even though Katsuki has changed, he's still as stubborn as he was when they were teenagers.

Izuku tries not to roll his eyes.

"I'd like to see you more often," he mumbles, feeling nervous. "I miss you when you're not here."

It's completely true, but part of him regrets saying it; it's not like Katsuki has time to make Izuku feel better. They're just friends.

"I'll try not to take too many shifts," Katsuki surprises him saying. His cheeks are slightly pink too. "So we can hang out more."

The young teacher beams in response, unable to hide his joy. Katsuki smiles back, leaning closer, looking flustered too.

"It's just... I have a project," he says after a while. "And I need to save a lot of money for it. It's... really important to me."

Oh. Izuku understands and he also has the feeling Katsuki doesn't want to give him too much information about it; it's okay. He'd do the same if he wasn't sure he was going to make it happen.

He can see how important it is for him in the way his red eyes shine. Izuku is almost sure Katsuki is going to open his own agency! It must be that!

"Will you tell me more once it's ready?"

Katsuki grins from ear to ear before getting closer to him; for a moment, his exhaustion vanishes as those red eyes meet Izuku's. He grabs both his hands in his.

"I promise. I can't wait for you to see it, Izuku."

There's something about the way Katsuki says his name that has Izuku blushing even more; his eyes stare at him with something close to adoration, but he's not sure and he certainly doesn't want to get the wrong idea so the teacher decides to ignore it.

He jumps from his seat and starts cleaning the counter before doing the dishes instead.

Katsuki offers to help, but Izuku asks him to wait in the living room while he finishes.

"You should stay tonight," he whispers next to him, leaning over the couch after a couple of minutes. He catches Katsuki dozing off.

The pro hero must be truly exhausted.

"What?" Red eyes blink back open in a second. The words seem to have caught him off guard. "You mean..."

"Yes," Izuku smiles, noticing that Katsuki is leaning closer. "Stay with me."

"But what... I mean, we should at least talk about it first," the pro hero blurts out, flustered, his face turning into a deep shade of red that makes the teacher worry. "I don't want this to be a casual thing. Besides, I have never–"

"What do you mean casual?" He cuts the blond off, feeling completely lost. "Well... If you want to, we can have regular sleepovers! What about every two weeks or so?"

It's perfect! That way, Katsuki wouldn't be able to take that many extra shifts!

The noise of Katsuki facepalming himself is so loud it startles Izuku. That big hand slides down his features like he's trying to gather some patience and strength at the same time.

"Of course you were talking about a sleepover," he mumbles so quietly the teacher wonders if he heard it wrong. Then, staring back at Izuku, he adds: "Yes, we can do that."

"Great!"

***

"I'm not wearing that!"

"Come on, Kacchan!" Izuku pouts, looking at the oversized All Might t-shirt and the pants that might not go along with it, but they're the same brand and are, in fact, very comfortable.

"Listen, I own a few things that are All Might themed too, but this is just awful," Katsuki grimaces, looking at the clothes like they have offended him personally.

"You can't sleep on those jeans," the green haired teacher protests. "You won't be able to sleep properly. Besides, this is the only thing I have that you can wear. My clothes are too small for you. I promise this really comfy! I love to wear these to sleep!"

Katsuki visibly relaxes when Izuku says that last bit; he looks from him to the clothes a couple of times.

"You wear these to sleep? Aren't they too big for you?"

"Yes, but I love oversized clothes!" Izuku smiles.

The pro hero stares down at him for a couple of seconds without saying anything; Izuku wonders if he forgot about what they were talking about when he suddenly blinks, snapping himself out of it, and then turns slightly pink.

"Fine. I'll see if I have something else–"

"No," Katsuki yanks the clothes right from Izuku's hands. "I'll wear them."

When Katsuki joins him in the living room again, he admits to himself that his friend was absolutely right about the clothes.

They fit him, but they don't look like his style at all.

"You look like a nerd, Kacchan," Izuku says before bursting into laughter.

"You little shit! This was all a trap to make me wear this crime against fashion! My parents would have a stroke if they saw me in this!" He lunges towards Izuku, making the teacher laugh even harder.

When Katsuki catches him in his arms, prompting them to fall over the couch, Izuku realizes the pro hero is chuckling too.

However, when the laughter dies, they're still wrapped around one another on the couch, and Katsuki refuses to look away from Izuku; the younger teacher gets too flustered he pushes his friend away.

"Let's watch a movie!"

Katsuki insists he needs to recharge first and the best way to do that is if he's as close to Izuku as possible so he ends up with the pro hero's head over his lap.

They only watch the first half of the movie, and Izuku is not sure Katsuki watched it at all because he caught the pro hero staring up at him a couple of times instead.

Katsuki falls asleep quickly after Izuku starts running his fingers through his blond hair.

The teacher sighs, turns the TV off and checks his mail on his phone while Katsuki sleeps. He reads a few of his students' works for a while before carefully waking Katsuki up.

They have a "discussion" about who gets to sleep on Izuku's bed, and the teacher ends up losing, so he brings an extra futon to the living room so Katsuki can sleep comfortably.

The pro hero wakes up first and is already making breakfast for two when Izuku walks out of his bedroom.

They chat for a while before Katsuki gets ready for work.

At the entrance, he hesitates right after putting his boots on before turning around again and pulling Izuku into a hug.

"Recharging?" He chuckles, hugging him back.

"More like getting some extra energy for the day." He whispers as he nuzzles against Izuku's curls.

"Okay, Kacchan."

"Let's do this next week," he says, smiling down at him, thumb stroking the teacher's scar on his right cheek.

"Yes!"

"I'll see you this Friday, Izuku."

***

As soon as he sees Ashido's smirk at the other side of the break room, Katsuki sighs, but he still walks towards her.

"I'm guessing it went really well with Midoriya. You haven't stopped smiling since you got here."

Katsuki is really bad at hiding his true feelings for Izuku, which is why he finds it ridiculous and frustrating how the nerdy teacher hasn't realized it himself yet.

"Yeah."

"I don't know if I should feel glad because it looks like you slept through the night or sorry because he didn't keep you awake."

Ashido wiggles her eyebrows in such a way Katsuki is not sure why he keeps falling for her stupid teasing.

But he blushes anyway and swears he'll never tell her that for a moment he thought Izuku wanted to sleep with him.

He would have done it gladly, but he would have professed his undying love for Izuku first because Katsuki doesn't do things by halves.

Loving Izuku is a lifetime commitment.

"SHUT UP!"

"Fine," she makes a dismissive gesture with her hand. "You're no fun."

Katsuki grabs the bento Izuku shoved into his hands that morning, as he made him promise he'd take a lunch break.

That's the only reason he's there.

"How's the suit going?" Ashido asks then, prompting Katsuki to smile again.

"Great. Hatsume is finally done with Izuku's gauntlets. I'll see her this afternoon to test them myself."

"He's going to love it," she assures him, putting a hand over his shoulder.

"I know," Katsuki mumbles, smiling down at his bento.

He can't wait to show it to Izuku. To see him wearing it.

It's going to take a while, but he'll get there eventually; he'll help Izuku fulfill his dream.

***

Patreon

[edenesth]

TWTHH Spinoff: Try Again [1]

Pairing: assistant!Jongho x new maid!reader

AU: historical au (Joseon era)

Word Count: 5.4k

Summary: Among the many staff members at General Park's estate, Jongho stood out for his dedication, leaving no room for personal indulgence. Convinced that love and marriage would detract from his commitment to serving the general, he had resigned himself to a life of solitude. But his conviction was challenged with the arrival of an annoyingly perfect Miss Kwon, a new maid whose kindness and efficiency began to make him rethink his life choices.

A/N: As stated in the title, this is a spinoff. If you have yet to check out the main story, it's probably better to read that before starting this.

Main Story | Spinoff Masterlist | Part 2

"So, that's her?" Jongho asked, raising a sceptical brow as he scrutinised you from a distance. The head maid nodded beside him. "Yes, that's Miss Kwon, highly recommended by many noblewomen across Joseon for her exceptional skills in caring for pregnant women and newborns. Do you… not approve of her? The mistress has already met her and seemed very pleased."

The general's assistant shook his head. "It's not that. I just… didn't expect her to be this young. I thought experts in this field were usually, well, middle-aged women."

Eunsook chuckled. "You're not wrong about that, Jongho, but Miss Kwon is different. Some people are just born talented, and it seems she's one of them."

"Hm, we'll see about that."

Jongho didn't want to be overly suspicious, but he couldn't help being cautious about new people, especially those coming to work at the estate for Seonghwa. With the general's wealth and status came many threats and people with various intentions, so he could never be too careful about who got close. Since you would not only join the household as a regular maid but also as the mistress' personal caretaker, you would inevitably have many opportunities to attempt something if you wanted to.

Sure, Eunsook claimed you were an expert in this particular field, but those were just words. He needed to see it to believe it, and for the next few months, he vowed to keep a close eye on you to ensure you were here purely for work and nothing else.

I'm watching you, Kwon.

"I promise, my lord. I will do my absolute best to take care of Lady Park and the future young master or miss. It would be my greatest honour to serve you and your family. My past employers can vouch for me if you wish. I am still in touch with most of them and can arrange for you to speak with them if you would like testimonies—"

General Park halted your rehearsed speech with a raised hand, an intimidating grin serving as a warning. "I appreciate it, Miss Kwon. But there's no need for that. My wife is adamant about having you care for her and our child. The choice is not in my hands, but I will say this: I am not a simple man, and I’m sure you are aware of that. If you attempt anything suspicious, the consequences will not be pretty. This is nothing against you; just know that every member of my staff has had to prove their trustworthiness."

You nodded firmly, fully understanding his caution. "Absolutely, sir. I understand completely. You have every reason to be careful, but rest assured, I will prove myself worthy. Thank you for granting me the opportunity to work for the lovely Lady Park."

True to your words, you lived up to expectations. If anything, Seonghwa would say you exceeded them. Your dedication and expertise quickly became apparent as you cared for the mistress with unwavering attention. Your knowledge of herbal remedies and gentle demeanour provided immense comfort to her during her pregnancy. The household buzzed with praise for you, and it didn’t take long for nearly everyone in the estate to like you. Even the general, known for his high standards, was impressed by your commitment and skill.

However, there was one person who remained at a distance—Jongho. Despite the praise you received from everyone else, the assistant maintained what he called a "professional distance." He watched you with a critical eye, always analysing, always assessing. While the rest of the staff warmed to your presence, he seemed determined to keep you at arm’s length.

You noticed his behaviour—it was hard not to—but didn’t let it deter you. You continued to perform your duties with the same level of dedication and kindness. Lady Park's condition improved steadily under your care, and the household ran smoothly. Your interactions with the other staff were friendly and respectful, and you often found yourself in the kitchen sharing a laugh with Eunsook or helping the junior maids with their tasks.

One evening, as you were preparing a soothing herbal tea for the mistress in the kitchen, you felt someone's gaze on you. You looked up to find Jongho passing by the doorway, his expression unreadable—the way it always was whenever he was around you. Your eyes followed him until he was out of sight. With a sigh, you shook your head and returned to your task.

Hearing the sigh, the head maid came up beside you. "What is it, dearie? You okay?"

You shrugged. "I don't know, Eunsook. I think… I think Assistant Choi dislikes me. It's been a month since I started work, and I'm well acquainted with nearly everyone in the estate… except him. I tried, I really did, but he just somehow refuses to let me in."

Eunsook gave you a sympathetic smile. "Don't take it to heart, Miss Kwon. Jongho is like that with everyone at first. He's very protective of the general and the household. It’s not personal."

You sighed again, stirring the tea gently. "I understand his caution, but it can be... disheartening. I just want to do my job well and be part of the team."

The elderly woman patted your shoulder reassuringly. "Give it time. He's a tough nut to crack, but once he sees your dedication, he'll come around. Just keep doing what you're doing. Everyone else has already seen how wonderful you are, and he will too."

You nodded, feeling a bit more hopeful. "Thank you, Eunsook. I'll keep trying."

With that, you finished preparing the tea and carried it to the House of Lotus, determined to prove yourself not just to the household, but eventually, even to the distant assistant.

But that might not be as easy as you thought. You should have known better. Your usual fail-proof plan to befriend someone had, for once, failed you. Offering help has always been your best way to connect with people. This time, however, it seemed to have backfired.

"Here's my chance," you mumbled to yourself as you spotted Jongho exiting the general's study, balancing a huge pile of scrolls in his arms. The stack was so high that he had to use his peripheral vision to navigate.

"Oh! Assistant Choi, please let me help!" you exclaimed, bounding over to him, your hands reaching for some of the scrolls at the top, which were obscuring his view. But before you could even touch them, he turned away from you and growled.

"No, thank you. I don't recall asking for your help. Please step aside."

When you opened your mouth to insist, he shot you a stern glare, sneering, "Instead of poking your nose into others' business, I'd suggest you do what you were hired to do. Good day, Miss Kwon."

Damn, what's his deal?

Stunned and a bit hurt, you stepped back, watching as he continued on his way, the scrolls wobbling precariously. You sighed, realising that winning him over would be more challenging than you had anticipated. Determined not to let this setback discourage you, you reminded yourself of Eunsook's words and resolved to keep trying. After all, perseverance and patience had always been your strengths, and you were not about to give up now.

Jongho huffed, rushing off to deliver the scrolls to Royal Secretary Choi as he always did. This wasn't a new task, and he certainly did not need any help. He wasn't a child; if anything, he was the general's most trusted aide for a good reason. If he needed assistance, he wouldn't be in his current position. How foolish of you to think you could charm your way to him just like that. He wasn't like the rest and wouldn't fall so easily. He knew he wasn't usually this harsh with other newcomers, but there was a reason for that.

Truthfully, he felt bitter.

People like him and Eunsook had to work so hard for many years to prove themselves, to get to where they were, to be acknowledged by all the estate staff. Yet here you were, freshly joined, and already you had everyone smitten and wrapped around your little finger. Just who did you think you were? He refused to believe you were as perfect as everyone made you out to be. Surely, you were flawed somewhere, and he was determined to find that flaw.

As he strode down the hallway, Jongho's mind raced with thoughts of you. He remembered the countless hours he had spent earning the trust and respect of the general and the other senior staff members, especially back when Seonghwa was neither kind nor forgiving. It had been a gruelling process, filled with challenges and sacrifices. And now, watching you seamlessly integrate into the household, seemingly without effort, grated on his nerves.

He arrived at San's office, carefully setting down the scrolls. The secretary glanced up, nodding in acknowledgement. "Everything alright, my man? You look a little bothered." Jongho took a deep breath and nodded, keeping his poker face intact, trying to shake off the irritation that clung to him. "I'm fine."

On his way back, he couldn't help but replay the earlier encounter in his mind. Your earnest offer to help, your genuine concern—it all felt too convenient, too perfect. He didn't trust it. No one could be that flawless, especially not someone so new to the estate.

Determined, the assistant resolved to keep a closer watch on you. He would observe your every move, waiting for the moment you slipped up, for the crack in your perfect facade. Only then would he feel vindicated in his mistrust. Until that day, he would remain vigilant, never letting his guard down.

And so, the silent battle continued.

You, with your unwavering kindness and dedication, and Choi Jongho, with his relentless scrutiny and scepticism. Little did he know, this ongoing clash would shape both of your lives in ways neither of you could foresee.

"Well, are things any better now?" Lady Park asked as you massaged her shoulders, which were stiff from hours of embroidering. Lord, this woman really needed to indulge in the activity in moderation.

You blinked. "Hm? Are you asking me that question, my lady?"

She chuckled. “If not you, who else? It's just us here, silly.”

You furrowed your brows. "I’m afraid I don't follow. What exactly are you referring to? My work here? It's going great, and you already know that—"

She clucked her tongue, rolled her eyes, and turned to face you. "I can't tell if you’re genuinely dense or just playing dumb with me, Miss Kwon. I'm talking about Jongho, of course. You’ve been trying to befriend him, haven't you?"

Your jaw dropped. "H-how'd you—"

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Did you really think Eunsook would keep anything from me, hm?"

You sighed, a bit embarrassed. "I just… didn't want to trouble you with it, my lady. It's nothing serious."

The mistress gave you a knowing look. "It might not seem serious to you, but it affects the atmosphere in the household. Jongho can be… difficult, but he means well. Have you made any progress?"

You shook your head. "Not really. He's very guarded, and every time I try to help or get close, he pushes me away. It's frustrating."

She smiled softly. "Give it time, Miss Kwon. Jongho has his reasons for being the way he is. He's had to work hard to earn his place and is wary of anyone new. Just be patient and continue doing your best. He’ll come around eventually, I know it."

You nodded, feeling a bit more hopeful. "Thank you. I'll keep trying."

Lady Park patted your hand. "Good. Now, enough about Jongho. Tell me more about these herbs you use. They've been working wonders for my headaches."

You smiled, glad to shift the conversation to something more pleasant, and began explaining the different herbs and their benefits to pregnant women like herself.

In the short time you had been at the estate, the mistress already felt like an elder sister to you. For once, it was nice to feel genuinely cared for. Growing up in a family where sons were favoured, being the only girl and a middle child among five siblings was challenging. Your parents had always focused on your four brothers, leaving you neglected and constantly chasing after their affection and acknowledgement. When none came, you had left home as soon as you were old enough—not that anyone cared or noticed. For all you knew, they could have been cheering on the inside.

On your journey to find your own path, fate intervened in the form of a woman going into labour in the middle of a busy street. Without a second thought, you rushed to assist her, drawing from the little knowledge you had gained from witnessing your mother give birth to your fourth and fifth brothers, along with some information from books about the female body and childbirth you had picked up out of curiosity. Naturally, you safely helped deliver the woman's baby after escorting her to a kind-hearted merchant's store nearby.

The townspeople who witnessed the event were amazed by your talent. Almost immediately, you were hired to assist with more births. With each case you took on, your expertise grew, and your name spread throughout the community.

Now, here you were, hired by the great General Park of the Joseon Royal Army to care for his beloved wife. While you had worked for many noble families before, this was undoubtedly the most prestigious addition to your portfolio.

Lady Park smiled as you described the different herbs and their benefits. "You have such a wealth of knowledge, Miss Kwon. It’s clear why you come so highly recommended."

You blushed slightly, appreciating her kind words. "Thank you, my lady. It's been a journey to get here, and you have no idea how honoured I am to be in your service."

She squeezed your hand. "And we're lucky to have you. Keep doing your best. Jongho... will come around in time, trust me, and soon enough, you’ll feel truly at home here."

Despite the challenges with the assistant, you were determined not to let him stand in the way of proving yourself in the household. This opportunity with the Park family was the pinnacle of your career so far, and you were determined to make the most of it.

"I'm so sorry to interrupt your session, mistress, but this is rather urgent. Miss Kwon, Assistant Choi has requested your presence at the inventory," a maid called out.

Speak of the devil.

Your eyes widened in surprise as you pointed to yourself. "M-me? Are you sure?" The maid nodded, a teasing grin on her face. "Yes, you." Everyone had noticed your efforts to get close to the assistant, so your reaction was understandable.

With a gentle pat on your hand, the mistress nodded toward the exit of her quarters. "No worries at all, dear. Go on then, he's waiting."

Gathering your composure, you followed the maid and made your way to the storeroom. As you arrived, you saw Jongho and Eunsook amidst piles of supplies, meticulously checking off items on their lists. He glanced up at you and gave a slight nod as acknowledgement, his expression as emotionless as ever.

"Miss Kwon, it's good that you're here. We're finalising our inventory check. Eunsook and I have settled the rest, but we need your expertise for the maternity essentials. Please have a look and let us know what isn't sufficient," the general's aide said, his tone formal and business-like.

You nodded and moved towards the designated area for the maternity supplies. Carefully, you inspected each item, making mental notes of what was present and what was missing. Your hands moved methodically through the various herbs and preparations until you noticed a glaring absence.

"Oh dear, it seems we're lacking the Fenugreek, Black Cohosh, and Raspberry Leaf. These herbs are essential as the delivery date is nearing," you remarked, turning to the two senior staff members.

Assistant Choi's eyes narrowed slightly, his focus entirely on you. "Is it critical? Funny how Physician Jung never mentioned these."

"Yes, very much so. We can't afford to be without them. Physician Jung is a general medical practitioner, but I specialise in this field. I hope you understand," you affirmed, suppressing the slight anger you felt at his sceptical and accusatory tone.

With a raised brow and a defeated nod, he made a decision. "Fine. We’ll need to procure them immediately. Miss Kwon, you will accompany me to the market."

You blinked in surprise. "There's no need for that. I can go alone, Assistant Choi. I know exactly where to find it."

Jongho's expression hardened. "I do not trust you to complete this task alone. I'll accompany you. Now, let us make haste."

Gosh, this man is exhausting.

Reluctantly, you nodded and followed him out of the storeroom. Eunsook gave you a playful fist pump, wishing you luck, and you responded with a half-hearted pout. The carriage ride to the market was tense, the air thick with unspoken tension. You sat quietly in one corner while he occupied the opposite end, his attention fixed on the parchment detailing their shopping list. Every attempt you made to break the ice was met with a stern glare, his eyes daring you to disturb the uneasy silence.

Biting your lip, you couldn't stand the oppressive quiet any longer. Clearing your throat, you began, "Um… so, do you… um, have you been to this market often?"

His gaze snapped up, cold and piercing. "It doesn't matter. Let's just focus on the task at hand," he replied curtly, his voice sharp.

You flinched at his tone, instantly regretting your attempt at conversation. Folding your hands in your lap, you turned to gaze out the carriage window, the passing scenery a blur as you pondered how to navigate this journey without further upsetting him.

Once at the market, Jongho's vigilance became apparent as he kept a sharp eye on your surroundings, seemingly ensuring your safety. To your surprise, he took precautions like guiding you to walk on the inside of the road and positioning himself slightly behind you, vigilant against potential threats from passing carriages or lurking thieves. Despite his usual stern demeanour, his actions revealed a decency you hadn't expected.

"Careful, watch your step. Ignore them and go straight ahead," his voice sounded from behind you. You felt the ghost of his touch on your back, his hand hovering near your waist as he shielded you from a rowdy group of drunken men sauntering around in broad daylight. Your heart skipped a beat at the proximity, and you nodded wordlessly, afraid that speaking might reveal the flustered state he had caused. His presence made you feel oddly safe, a feeling you hadn't anticipated experiencing around him.

As you navigated through the crowded market, his vigilance never wavered. He steered you away from potential dangers, his eyes constantly scanning the surroundings. When you reached the apothecary, he took the lead, ensuring you were well-protected.

"Is this it?" he asked, looking at the apothecary you frequented. You nodded, and he folded the parchment, stowing it back in his bag. "You know, we could've gone to Ryu's Apothecary. Yunho's fiancée— I mean Miss Ryu, she would've given us a discount."

You sighed softly. "Yes, but they won't have what we need. These herbs are different and rare, specifically used during labour. This apothecary is the only one I know that supplies them. Just trust me on this."

"Fine, let's go," he grumbled, his tone still gruff but less dismissive.

At the apothecary, his negotiating skills came to the fore. "Thanks, we'll take them," you quickly accepted the price offered as usual, but Jongho stepped in, handling the transaction with sharp precision.

"Before we agree so hastily, I believe it's important that we try to negotiate," he muttered, gently moving you aside from the counter. Just as you were about to protest, his persuasive mannerisms took over, and before you knew it, he had managed to secure a lower price.

"And that's how you do it, Miss Kwon."

"Y-yes, Assistant Choi."

On your way back to the estate, you couldn't help but reflect on the day's events. Despite his cold exterior, the assistant's professionalism was undeniable. His vigilance and the way he ensured the efficiency of the task had impressed you.

You finally witnessed firsthand his meticulous attention to detail and sharp negotiating skills. He had secured the necessary herbs at a reasonable price, demonstrating a keen understanding of the market and a commitment to obtaining the best for his employer. It was the first time since joining the general's estate that you had seen his capabilities in action. Previously, you had only heard about how dedicated he was to every single detail, but today, you saw him in a new light. With that came a growing respect and admiration for his attitude towards his work.

Upon returning, you handed the herb to the head maid for storage and turned to Jongho. "Thank you. Your help was invaluable today."

He merely nodded, his expression unreadable. "Just doing my job. Make sure everything is in order."

Despite his continued aloofness, you had gained a newfound respect for him. His commitment to the household was undeniable, and you admired him for it. His cold exterior had masked a fierce sense of duty. You realised that, despite his stern demeanour, he took his responsibilities seriously and was just doing everything in his power to ensure the well-being of the household.

Back in your quarters that evening, you sat by the window, looking out at the fading light. The day's events had given you a new perspective on Assistant Choi. You had seen a side of him that was hidden beneath layers of formality and distance. His actions had spoken volumes about his character, and you found that a rather... attractive trait.

Hmm, maybe he's not all that bad.

Your admiration for him only seemed to grow after an emergency one night at the estate. A severe storm had wreaked havoc, causing significant damage to various parts of the property. The wind howled, and the rain poured down in torrents, leaving broken windows, fallen trees, and a flooded courtyard in its wake. Immediate repairs and organisation were required, and you found yourself working alongside Jongho to coordinate the repair efforts.

"We need to assess the damage and allocate tasks to the repair teams immediately," he said, his tone sharp but calm as he surveyed the chaos around him. His usual stern demeanour was replaced with a focused intensity, like a man on a mission.

You nodded, grabbing a lantern and following him through the rain-soaked grounds. "Careful!" he exclaimed, his hands shooting out to steady you when you yelped, nearly slipping on the wet ground. "Th-thanks, I'm fine. I'll be more careful from now on," you stuttered, feeling flustered by his warm, large hands on your shoulders.

For a fleeting moment, time seemed to freeze as you both locked eyes. His gaze was intense, revealing a depth you hadn't noticed before. Suddenly aware of his touch, he cleared his throat and promptly released his hold. "Right, let's go. No time to waste."

With the urgency of the situation pressing on him, the assistant wasted no time dwelling on what had just happened. He moved with purpose, his eyes scanning for damage while directing the staff with precision. Teams were swiftly assigned to clear debris, patch up broken windows, and start pumping out water from flooded areas. His leadership remained steadfast, and he willingly joined in wherever his assistance was needed.

"Over here! This tree needs to be cleared right away. It’s blocking the main path," Jongho called out, rolling up his sleeves and picking up an axe himself. You watched in awe as he swung the tool with practised ease, chipping away at the fallen tree. His relentless work ethic was evident in every action, showing no sign of fatigue even as the hours dragged on.

"Here, let me help with that," you offered, stepping forward.

He glanced at you briefly, a rare flicker of appreciation in his eyes. "Focus on coordinating the teams. I need you to ensure everyone is where they need to be."

You nodded, feeling a renewed sense of purpose. You ran from one team to another, relaying his instructions and ensuring the work was progressing smoothly. Every time you returned to his side, he was still working tirelessly, whether it was hauling debris, directing the repair crews, or inspecting the work that had been done.

As the night wore on and the storm began to subside, you noticed that he seemed to have caught a cold from working in the rain all night. Constant coughs and sneezes escaped him, but he ignored them and continued his work with undiminished intensity.

"Jongho, you need to take a break," you said, your eyes widening when you realised you had called him by his name instead of his title. Your heart raced, preparing for the lecture that was sure to come, but there was none. He merely wiped his forehead with his hanbok sleeve, shaking his head.

"I'm fine. There's no time for that."

His tireless work ethic left a lasting impression on you, making you see beyond his exterior. And in that moment, you realised there was much more to Assistant Choi than met the eye.

By the time the first light of dawn began to break, the major repairs were completed. The estate, though still showing signs of the storm's wrath, was well on its way to recovery. You and the assistant stood in the courtyard, muddy and exhausted, but there was a sense of accomplishment in the air.

"You've worked hard today, Jongho. You must be exhausted," you said, your voice filled with genuine concern.

He merely nodded, his usual aloofness returning. "I'm sure we all are. But we're far from finished; there's still more work to be done. Make sure the teams are ready for the next phase."

Despite his continued formality, you couldn't help but feel a deep respect for him. His actions that night had spoken volumes about his character, revealing a dedication and decency that you found truly admirable. As you returned to your quarters, you felt a newfound determination to prove yourself to him, hoping that one day he might see you as an ally rather than an outsider.

But it won't be easy.

On the other side of the servant's quarters, Jongho lay awake in bed, struggling to push the memory of you saying his name out of his mind. He was angry at himself for not correcting you; he didn't like how his heart was starting to react around you. Despite the cold front he put up, he couldn't stop thinking about your bright personality and your infuriatingly cheerful smile.

He would rather die than admit to anyone he enjoyed the impromptu trip to the market with you, enjoyed having you close as you walked down the busy streets together, and enjoyed feeling what it was like to have someone to protect. Was this how Seonghwa felt around the mistress? No, no, he could not afford to think like this.

Unlike the general, he had nothing to offer.

For the longest time, he was convinced that his purpose lay solely in his service. But then you came along and just had to mess things up. You were everything Jongho was not: warm, approachable, and seemingly unruffled by the complexities of life. Your kindness and efficiency quickly won you favour among the staff, and your presence brought a refreshing vibrancy to the estate.

He often watched you from a distance, his initial curiosity soon giving way to annoyance. How could someone so young and inexperienced be so... perfect? You were always so nice, so sweet, so helpful, a stark contrast to his own brusque demeanour. And worse, you seemed to take a special interest in him. He wasn't an idiot; he could tell you were going out of your way to offer assistance and engage in conversation. He couldn't understand it. He didn't want to understand it. He had no time for such distractions.

Yet, despite his best efforts to ignore you, he found himself watching you more often, his eyes drawn to your easy smiles and the way you moved with such graceful efficiency. He hated the way his thoughts strayed to you, disrupting his focus. He hated the way his heart seemed to betray him, beating a little faster whenever you were near.

As he lay there, he replayed the events of the night in his mind over and over. You had called him by his name, and he let it slide. He should have corrected you and maintained the distance that was necessary for both of your sakes. But he didn't. Instead, he found himself yearning for more moments like that, where the walls between you seemed a little less solid.

"Jongho, you need to take a break."

He could still hear the concern in your voice and see the worry in your eyes. It was unnerving, to say the least. The assistant was used to being the one who took care of things, the one who ensured everything ran smoothly. Having someone care about him was a new, unsettling experience.

Enough, Choi Jongho. Stop this nonsense.

Determined to regain control, he went to great lengths to avoid you in the days that followed. He needed to reclaim his composure and restore the once-existent distance between you. His job was what mattered, and he had to focus on it.

Not you.

Already irritated by the unwelcome feelings you had stirred, the combination of sleep deprivation and his lingering cold only exacerbated his mood, leaving him increasingly irritable. No one dared to disturb him, sensing his foul mood.

The final straw came when he heard your voice. "There you are! I've been searching for you. Here are some Echinacea. It's good for your cold. You really should do something about it before it worsens."

Taking a deep breath, he turned to face you.

"Why do you keep doing this?" Jongho demanded, his voice harsher than he intended. "I don't need your help. I don't need you."

He had been organising the general's study one afternoon when you approached him with a small bundle of herbs, a remedy you had prepared for the minor ailment he had been ignoring. You handed it to him with a gentle smile, your eyes filled with genuine concern. Instead of reacting gratefully, his patience snapped.

Your smile faltered, but you held his gaze steadily. "I'm only trying to help, Jongho. You work so hard, and I thought—"

"Don't think, Miss Kwon," he cut you off, his tone icy. "Just do your job and leave me alone. And it's Assistant Choi to you."

For a moment, hurt flashed across your face, but you quickly masked it with a polite nod. "I understand. I apologise if I've overstepped."

Jongho watched you walk away, a strange emptiness settling in his chest. He had done what he needed to do, what he always did—push people away. Yet, for the first time, he felt a pang of regret.

Forget her. You did the right thing.

« Preview of Part 2 »

"You know, if she runs away or hands in her resignation letter because of you, I'll have you know there will be serious consequences for you." The general's deep voice startled his assistant, who was in the midst of dusting his bookshelves—or at least attempting to, as his mind was clearly elsewhere.

Seonghwa sighed. "I'm kidding, but I heard everything, you idiot. Care to tell me why you're being unusually harsh to her? We've had new people join before, and you've never acted like this."

To the older man's dismay, Jongho remained silent, unsure of how to respond. His usual sharp retorts were absent for once.

"You like her, don't you?" General Park asked.

The guilty look in the younger man's eyes was all it took to confirm the question. Seonghwa chuckled, smacking him on the back. "That's it? Why are you acting like it's the end of the world? Isn't this great? You finally found someone you like!"

"That's the problem, sir. I don't want this. I don't want any of it."

Hmm this didn't feel as emotionally damaging as promised, did it? Idek HAHA I honestly cannot tell, y'all let me know. You're probably surprised I dropped this on a Monday but it's another public holiday for us Malaysians today, yippee!

Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed! As always, let me know your thoughts! <3

Tag list (1/10):

@itstheghostofmypast @huachengsbestie01 @minghaoslatina @weedforthoughtz @minkiflwr |

@cheolliehugs @the-kpop-simp @writingwieny @stayatinykatsy @skzline |

@green-agent @stayinhellevator @vampzity @tinyteezer @evidive |

@vantediary @superbbananananana @kimyeolchan @chocolate-scoups @decadentstrangernacho |

@vic0921 @marievllr-abg @sunnyhokyu @seungmin-in-thebuilding @heyitsmetonid |

@sansaurora9904 @darkestacademiamindsx12-blog @myblovedjyh @professormingisglasses @newworldwritings |

@chicken-fifi @thunderous-wolf @shythinggiver @madnpan @yandere-stories |

@anxiousskylar @frobin4ever @starssongs98 @dollce-exe @jan-l |

@lovelyred2 @haven-cove @watermelon2319 @dreamingofyeo @akimkim |

@scuzmunkie @satsuri3su @mismatchfluffysocks @borntoshineateez @st4rhwa |

@ddaeing @tropicalsstuff @bts-army380 @skteezcursed @beauty143 |

@naps-over-degree @brown88 @sis-101 @lemon-sage17 @skittyneos |

@chickenscoups

All Rights Reserved © edenesth // DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARISE OR REPURPOSE.