#also yes the plot is cliche on purpose!!

[cloudyskiiees]

my autism went a little bonkers and i possibly came up with an entire video game plot because i didn’t just wanna reuse one of the plots from the actual movies. whoops. anyways here yall go!

more under the cut cuz. this is a very long post.

Our five main characters are all seniors in high school, and all get detention for various reasons. noah and owen are well known best friends- best known for being smart and silly respectively- but the others don’t know each other very well. alejandro has a small bias against noah and owen, one for beating him in every class ever, the other for simply being… owen. izzy and eva respect each other but aren’t exactly friends, both being loners.

they’re punishment takes place in the basement of the school, where they’re told to organize some of the junk down there. they are left by themselves, and reluctantly begin sorting.

noah and owen find an old looking game console, and a singular game. while it looks a bit like junk, noah is certain he can get it to work, and hooks it up to the small TV in the corner of the room.

owen gets excited seeing there are five controllers, and five characters when noah gets the game working. “Jumanji,” it’s called, they’ve never heard of it.

owen immediately chooses a character named “Dr Smolder Bravestone,” based on the fact he liked the word “brave” being in the name. noah rolls his eyes and beings to actually read through the limited information on the characters, when izzy bounds up to them.

she grabs a controller and gasps, reading “killer of men” and immediately selecting her character, “Ruby Roundhouse.”

noah, having read the options, chooses the character nicknamed “Seaplane,” being a fan of planes and piloting himself. izzy calls eva over, who agrees to play to get out of cleaning, and chooses randomly from the last two characters, “Professor Shelly Oberon.”

alejandro finally cracks and asks what they’re doing, and owen explains, asking him to join as there’s one character left. alejandro declares he “will NOT be the only one doing what they’re supposed to do,” and grabs his controller, being stuck with the character “Mouse Finbar.”

with all characters selected, the game seems to begin. as it does the green sphere in the console starts to glow, and our five characters are sucked into the game itself.

each avatar they chose changes to take on the persons likeness, with physical alternations to match their character.

example, owen still is blonde and a bit rounder, but he’s now ripped as hell. much higher endurance and strength, things that Bravestone would have.

eva has the strongest physical change, as her avatar is actually a boy. he still resembles eva, but much more masculine, and with a male body of course. she freaks out for a while about it.

owen and izzy are SO HAPPY in their character bodies. owen can enjoy running around and throwing things without running out of breathe, izzy has even more knowledge on fighting and more flexibility than she does regularly.

noah doesn’t mind too much being his character. he has cool sunglasses and a jacket. he’s chilling.

alejandro is. pissed. so very incredibly pissed. he cannot BELIEVE he got stuck with such a “stupid looking character.” it gets worse when they learn they can check their strengths and weaknesses.

(i don’t have 100% of them worked out yet, but here’s some i know for sure!)

Noah:

Strengths: Piloting, Engineering

Weaknesses: Mosquitos

Izzy:

Strengths: Dance fighting, Karate, Tai’Chi, Jui-Jitsu

Weaknesses: Venom

Eva:

Strengths: Cartography, Paleontology

Weaknesses: Endurance

Owen:

Strengths: Fearless, Speed, Climbing, Smoldering Intensity

Weaknesses: None

Alejandro:

Strengths: Zoology, Expert Weapon Valet

Weaknesses: Speed, Strength, Lava (get it. DO YOU GUYS GET IT.)

anyways, moving on, they quickly figure out they’re somewhere in a jungle, and noah notes almost immediately that they were definitely pulled into the game. he points out the nametag on his jacket, as well as alejandro’s vest, proving they’re currently in the bodies of their chosen avatars.

they all panic for a minute before finding a body of water to check their reflections in. they talk for a bit and noah starts ranting about the insane idea of being trapped in a video game,

and then an alligator eats him!

everyone FREAKS OUT because noah just DIED in front of them. that is until they hear and electronic chime and the same noah comes dropping from out of the sky and face down onto the ground in front of everyone else.

from his death he points out the tattoos on everyone, and how the tally marks represent lives. he explains how he died, and only has two lives left. he seems incredibly displeased about it.

it’s by this point they realize izzy had wandered off while noah was explaining the lives, and she returns with a snake around her neck.

of course everyone yells at her, and of course she defends herself, and of course she gets bit by the snake. and dies instantly.

the snake slithers away and izzy drops from the sky, noah angrily repeating his speech about lives, and suddenly him and izzy are down to two.

more snakes start slithering out from the jungle, and i mean like and insane amount of snakes. they’re covering every inch of the ground.

the five make and executive decision to sprint for their lives, and they run into a man riding a horse, five others appearing seemingly out of thin air.

they all get on a horse and start riding away with the strange man, who soon reveals himself to be an NPC named Nigel, that noah figures is there to help them begin the “game.”

Nigel states that Jumanji is in danger, and he’s sorry to have to call Dr Bravestone back to Jumanji, and that all the details are in the letter he sent. owen realizes he’s now holding a letter, and reads it out to everyone.

Dr Bravestone, who had lived in Jumanji a few years prior to becoming a world known adventurer and archaeologist, had an Ex - Girlfriend he left behind.

(current name for her i have is Lola, not 100% sure yet, but that’s what i’ll be calling her)

Lola was so overcome with grief, she turned to a cursed stone. one originally found by her father, who was an archaeologist who taught Dr Bravestone many things. the stone was rumored to take one emotions from them, effectively turning them heartless. in Lola’s desperation, she steals the stone from the hiding place of her fathers, and allows it to consume her.

becoming heartless, her grief turns to something similar to hatred. she wants to rule Jumanji, and she wants to kill Dr Bravestone.

for years now she’s been slowly building up a following, soldiers ready to die for her and her desires. unfortunately for her, a thief had managed to break into her own residence, and steal the gem.

Nigel explains then how he’d called Dr Bravestone and his companions to Jumanji because he’d recently learned the whereabouts of the gem. hidden somewhere in a town just on the coast of Jumanji itself.

he hands owen a map as the horses come to a stop, just outside the jungle itself. he explains they’ll need to follow the map to the town, find the gem, and rid the land of its curse. when asked how, he simply repeats that ��To leave the game, you must save Jumanji, then call out its name.”

eventually the five ride away just enough to no longer hear Nigel, then look at that map. they discover no one can read it but eva, her avatar having the strength of “cartography,” the study of maps.

(they use this time to figure out how to check their own strengths and weaknesses, giving them a much better idea of what they can do as their characters.)

they follow a path she directs them too, coming upon a mountain. eva says it seems like they’ll have to climb over it somehow, and alejandro reluctantly begins digging in his backpack for something to use.

as he does, Lola shows up with a fleet of soliders, and a large lion right at her heel. she gives a big evil villain speech, and as she does, the group start urging him to attempt and speak to the lion. alejandro argues that being a zoologist does NOT mean he can talk to animals, and owen argues it’s a video game, anything is possible.

against his better judgement, alejandro does indeed attempt to speak to the lion, and immediately gets killed. the four others freak out and begin to run away on their horses.

owen stops as an electronic chime sounds, and quickly turns to run back. alejandro drops down near where he died, and owen immediately grabs him and using his character strength, pulls him up onto the horse with him. alejandro can’t decide if he’s more angry or grateful with him at the moment as they catch up with the other three.

while running, eva mentions that the map was changing, a second pathway suddenly appearing, going through the mountain and into a mine. both pathways appear to lead to the town they need to get to, so they duck into the mines after ditching their horses, effecting losing Lola and her men.

while in the mines, it’s incredibly dark. they can barely see each other, but manage to feel their way around to a few things.

(for eva, her character can read the map at all times, so the map is somewhat illuminated in her eyes. this “light” does not reflect anywhere else for her to use.”

they find two night vision goggles, and then noah feels what appears to be three minecarts. fluttering sounds from around them, and vampire bats begin to fly out at them.

freaking out, alejandro snaps on a pair of goggles and shoves him and the first person he grabbed into the first minecart, yelling for everyone else to follow. noah grabs at the sides of the cart like a mad man, being the one alejandro had grabbed.

eva jumps into the second cart immediately, izzy snapping on the second pair of goggles and following. owen blindly falls into the third cart, and they’re off.

the map seems to have zoomed in for eva, giving a very sketchy route through the caves using the minecarts. she shouts out answers as alejandro uses his position in the first cart to lean out and hit levers when needed, adjusting the tracks in time for them all.

the vampire bats are fast, and deadly according to alejandro, as he spits out facts about them inbetween eva screaming directions.

izzy decides she can fight, even with the minecarts flying at a high speed. with eva being too focused figuring out where to direct alejandro, izzy manages to balance herself on the edge of the minecart, beating the shit out of the vampire bats.

she does awesome for a while, being in the middle of everyone, she manages to keep the bats away from eva and alejandro as much as possible. owen tries to help fight them off as well with his strength, but he can barely see, and keeps almost falling out of his cart.

they’re getting closer to the exit and izzy gets a bit too into her fighting. shes kicking just a bit too often, too high, and she gets hit in the torso by a bat.

she screams as she drops down to the bottom of the cave, owen leaning out just too far in an attempt to save her, and his scream echos as he falls down with her.

noah curses the air as they hit the end of the track, praying the two would land in the carts instead of just straight back down into the cave. luckily, they do, somehow not being injured by technically falling through an entire mountain.

owen and izzy get dragged out of the cave and into the safe seeming forest, and eva screams at izzy. she grabs her arm and shows her the one tally mark left on her arm, telling her that she’s going to get herself killed.

izzy realizes two things. one, that this game is much more serious than she thought. two, eva does genuinely care for her.

the five of them shake off the first real level of the game, and follow a path through the forest to the town Nigel had told them to get to.

upon entering, the group decides to split up. no matter what they find they’ll need a way to get away in case Lola and her people show up, which means they need transportation. noah and owen agree to attempt to find a way to get some, while eva izzy and alejandro split off to try and find any clues about the gem they need.

they run into a suspiciously talkative girl, who they pin as an important NPC. the girl beings flirting with eva’s avatar, and she freaks out because she simply cannot talk to women.

alejandro and izzy sneak off to try and figure out who the NPC is, and run into owen and noah. the duo has had no luck getting anything, seeing as boats are the only option, and they have nothing to trade and no money to rent one.

izzy pulls out a shit ton of gems from seemingly nowhere, saying she was grabbing the shiny things while in the cave fighting the bats. everyone is a little scared, but the boys happily take the gems to trade and run off.

alejandro and izzy return to their task, and figure out the NPC must be the thief Nigel was talking about. they run back to where they left eva who seems to be holding up decently well, and threaten the thief.

without hesitation, she kills eva. alejandro and izzy panic as she’s quickly dropped back to the ground, and starts angrily ranting about how they need it to break the damn curse and go home, and the thief switches up quickly. she apologizes for thinking badly of them and tells them she wishes to break the curse too, not wanting to live under the rule of someone with no heart.

owen and noah return saying they’ve successfully rented a boat, and eva explains she’s lost a life. her and noah, having been very protective of their lives thus far, are both a little freaked out by how quickly she was killed by just an NPC.

as the thief leads them to where she hid the gem, Lola and her men show up and begin to raid the town, searching for our five main characters. they manage to grab the gem and make it to their boat without any deaths, and noah quickly takes charge in driving the boat away from the town.

while showing them the gem, the thief had explained how to destroy the gem. they must take it to an island across from their town, find a way to the top of the volcano resting there, and throw the stone into it. that will break the curse, and kill Lola, freeing Jumanji.

as eva tells noah where to go to get to the island, Lola’s men start dropping down onto the boat from helicopters that begin to circle them. izzy gets to shine here using her “dance fighting” strength, and owen gets to punch people off the boat. alejandro unfortunately cannot help much here, but happily supplies weapons from his endless backpack for owen to use.

unfortunately owen does get taken by surprise, am arrow hitting his shoulder and throwing him off guard. izzy is too late to grab him before he’s thrown off the ship by a solider, and he dies soon after. he lands back on the boat, down to one life just like izzy.

izzy manages to rid the boat of the rest of the soldiers, giving the characters a bit of time to figure out their next move.

noah is suddenly yelling for everyone to get off the boat, as he can see shore ahead, and tells them to swim to it. they argue, and he tells them it’s fine, and he has two lives left.

everyone knows he’s giving one of them up, and reluctantly get off the boat. alejandro tries to stay with noah, knowing how protective of his lives he’s been, and noah ends up throwing him off the boat and then quickly driving off.

the other four manage to swim to shore and watch as Lola’s soldiers follow after noah and their boat. they run to the bottom of the volcano and alejandro starts throwing a fit about one of his weaknesses being “lava.”

they find a broken down seaplane near the end of the volcano, and a journal inside. the plane was the one Lola’s father used to get to the island, and they learn there’s another way to break to stone. there’s a silver chisel he had made just in case of anyone accidentally getting cursed, one that can shatter the stone and free the individual of the curse.

they hear an electronic chime, and faintly see noah falling from the sky, as well as soliders approaching the island, having caught wind of where the other four were, and having killed noah.

the other four go into a panic and eva quickly shows them to a path leading up the volcano, and chase beginning. owen ends up carrying alejando after a bit of running, his weakness genuinely slowing him down too much as they race higher up the volcano.

time is running out, and with no idea where the silver chisel they need could be, the group decides they have no choice but to throw the stone into the lava as they reach the top.

owen argues, he says they need to save Lola. the others argue she’s just a video game character, and owen points out how real everything there was, and there’s clearly another way.

due to their argument, they four get cornered by Lola herself. she gives another long monologue of course, and then she gets one of her men to pay alejandro down in search for them gem. when he doesn’t have it, alejandro is pushed into the volcano.

owen and izzy scream as eva attempts to attack Lola, getting thrown into the lava next as soon as it’s discovered she doesn’t have the gem.

as she moves to check izzy, a loud noise is heard, and than a seaplane crashes into half of Lola’s men.

noah grins from the pilot seat and tells izzy and owen to hurry up, and they jump into the plane. noah expertly rolls the plane to the side as alejandro and eva fall from the sky, and owen and izzy manage to grab them before they fall to the ground, yanking them into the plane.

noah explains after he died he fell in and ocean, making his way to shore and finding the busted seaplane. using his strength of engineering and piloting, he managed to fix the plane up enough for him to use and save them.

they other four tell noah how they’re all down to one life now, and how they learned there’s another way to win the game. noah notes that Lola wears a strange silver necklace, and he noticed because she’s always bringing attention to it.

everyone excitedly praises him for his stupid video game knowledge and observational kills, and noah turns the plane around to head back and confront Lola and win the game.

owen, with the gem still secured in the pocket of his pants, confronts Lola not as owen, but as Dr Bravestone, her long lost love.

there’s an emotional cutscene where we learn Lola has the chisel because she has a yearning somewhere for her heart back, and with Dr Bravestone returning to apologize to her, she manages to break for a moment long enough for alejandro to sneak up and take her necklace.

she panics as owen whips out the stone. alejandro throws him the necklace, and owen manages to pierce the gem and crack it almost immediately.

nothing happens for a moment, and noah remembers Nigel’s words. “To leave the game, you must save Jumanji, then call out its name.”

our five characters call out “Jumanji,” and a bright pink light flashes from our the gem and throughout the area, making the entire world suddenly glow a bit brighter.

Lola, with her now returned emotions, thanks Dr Bravestone for saving her. there’s a lot of feelings from her as Nigel suddenly flies in from a helicopter.

he thanks everyone as well, then reaching his hand out for a handshake. noah tells them this had to be the end, and they all realize they’re actually alive.

alejandro shakes Nigel’s hand first with enthusiasm, and then everyone else follows, getting sent right back to the basement they were originally in, as if no time had passed at all.

okay that was way more of the plot than i meant to write, but yea! here’s more facts about it,

the jungle is the “tutorial” level. the mines are level one, the fight on the sea is level two, and the volcano is level three.

i thought the idea of the volcano and island being the final stage as funny since i’m using tdi characters for this. also having alejandro’s weakness be lava!

the game itself is technically a choose your own adventure. there are three important choices to make in the game!

the first is the choice to go over the mountain or through it. if the gang had gone over the mountain, they would’ve had to out run Lola and her men, but would’ve lost them by the time they reached the woods.

the second choice is with the thief. there’s an option to and attempt to steal her gem from her, which is why she so quickly kills eva when threatened. as soon as eva had “chosen” to instead befriend the thief, the other route closed and the befriend route opened immediately, which is why our NPC switched up so quickly after eva explained what was going on!

the last choice is of course being whether to kill Lola to save Jumanji, or find a way to reason with her and save her instead. without owen, the group would’ve likely ended the game by simply killing the villain. thankfully we have a loveable leader to help them out!

now each character has a specific arc they work through throughout the game, based on how they are in the real world.

owen had to learn how to step up and be more of a leader, when the right time to take charge and step in was.

alejandro had to learn how to step back and let someone else lead, how to be the support to someone else.

eva had to learn how to be a team player, learning to communicate better and help others instead of just herself.

izzy had to learn how to focus better, when to take things more seriously for others, when their lives were in danger.

noah had to learn to put in effort, to choose and make a sacrifice for the greater good instead of letting someone else do it instead.

also i always invision alenoah in everything i write so feel free to imagine that! i didn’t add any of those details because i was much more focused on plot, but they’re always getting together in everything universe i write them in.

i spent over an hour writing this out so yes!!! i know this is super self indulgent but if you read this far you’re super cool!

i just watched both of the modern jumanji movies and oh my goodness my brain is running so quickly. total drama au but but but jumanji. guys pleaseseseseee hear me out it would be team escope and alejandro GUYSSS IM THINKKINGG

[wisttwist]

jester's privilege

(past) nebu (nathaniel) & reader, morningstar (ithaqua) & reader cliche scene where the hero enters the defeated kings bedroom and all the concubines are crawling all over him but instead of a dozen concubines trying to seduce him it's a single crusty manservant making middle school tier jokes warnings: mentions of canon typical war crimes etc

...

There was a small, breathtakingly ugly cushion in the corner of the room, bright primary colours clashing with the creams and golds of the late Tower Lord's interior design (which was also ugly, Helel would like to append).

A similarly small and breathtakingly ugly servant (?) sits on this cushion, presently engaged in thrilling (mind numbing) icebreakers (he would like to break some ice over your head, yes) with the Sun Eater as he idly turned over Nebuchadnezzar's royal paraphernalia.

"So he doesn't bed you and you aren't politically valuable. Then why are you in here, and not out there?" He gestures to the smoke from the mines, visible from the tower window.

"He doesn't send me to the quarries because I'm special. I'm his special boy."

"He calls you that?"

"No."

Helel made the temporary generalization that conversation with you was a waste of oxygen and stalks off to continue his inspection of the room, deaf to your remarks.

A voice comes from right behind his shoulder. "What do I call you?" Somehow, you'd soundlessly traversed the cluttered floor to stand uncomfortably close.

He scowls. So much for ignoring you. "Don't you know who I am?"

"I do live in a cell." You mumble, picking your nose and wiping the snot on your pants.

For a second, the Eclipse considers retelling the story of his conquest for the nth time but honestly, he wasn't sure how much more gloating he could wring out of it, especially with this audience. "It doesn't matter who I am. Just know that I'm the new king."

"Your voice is very familiar."

"No it's not."

"Very well. It's not." You fidget on the spot, bell-studded clothes jingling. "Do I call you sire? Or are you more formal?"

"Do as you wish."

Satisfied with his vague and minimalist answers, he returns to his prior task of sorting through the Sun King's old shit; mentally categorizing them for later: keep, trash, take to the thrift store, incinerate. Surveying the shelves, he sighs. This would be a lengthy task.

…

"Do you want a tour?" Breathing on the back of his neck, again. Uncomfortably close, again.

Helel gives you a firm push back. "No."

"Are you still wondering what my purpose was?" You chirp, undeterred as ever.

"If I recall correctly, the Sun King already had a clown in his court. I freed him way back when." Maybe if Helel paid more attention to that event, he'd note that the Encroached did mention an irritating bell-wearing obstacle between him and his master. Not that you can prepare for this brand of mild but persistent evil. "But considering this room is full of useless junk, it's not hard to guess why you're here."

Ignoring his jab, you sidle close once more, plotting another invasion attempt on his personal space. "Jesters and clowns are two different things."

Yeah, you were different. The other guy was less annoying. Mercifully, he elects to give a noncommittal grunt instead of mentioning this detail, hoping that you'll lose interest in trying to continue your conversation.

The Sun Eater lifts up a decanter of mystery fluid (pale and golden like everything else). He's about to lean in to give it a smell test when you stop him. "That's not wine, sire."

Owlishly, his head swivels around to face you.

You close your eyes sagely and pause for dramatic effect, wasting more of Helel's time on waiting for you to elaborate. "It's pee."

The decanter shatters on the floor. You watch him frantically wipe his hands off on the expensive curtains. "What the fuck?"

A good poker face is a crucial survival skill for your occupation, but given your employer is currently burning in hell, you are very much off the clock right now. You double over with laughter. "Oh heavens, sire. You're too gullible, oh stars and suns, oh- Oh!"

Helel's clawed hand yanks you up by the hair. "Are you five years old. Greater men have died for lesser-"

"Let me down, please, sire!" The twinge of stifled laughter slurring your pleas for your life don't help your case. "I'm sorry! Please!"

You're dropped in a crumpled, jingling heap on the floor. Briefly, the Morning Star considers sending you to the gallows, but is it really worth the effort? Your transgressions, frequent as they were, weren't significant enough for that. Besides, on a smaller level he won't admit, his pride refuses to let you get to him. "I'll take you up on the tour offer." He declares with finality, crossing his arms. "You touch everything before I do."

"Yes, sire!" You jump up to attention, back ramrod straight in a mockery of military obedience. "Does that make me the royal toucher? Or king's toucher? That's like being a king's taster but instead of tasting-"

Your voice trails off as you feel Helel's glare burning through his mask and into your skull.

"Ahem. On the left, we have war spoils from the southeastern peninsula…"

… 

Truly, the home renovation aspect of overthrowing corrupt tyrants is underestimated. The remainder of the afternoon was spent sorting doohickeys into piles in the middle of the floor for future storage. Or rather, Helel did the majority of the heavy lifting while you (un)helpfully stood in the corner, regaling him with tales of the previous regime and the exact happenings of court life. He wants to tell you to stop talking for 5 minutes and do something useful but you would probably cite the importance of 'moral support' and try to weasel your way out of it. Besides, even if you were trying to do something of substance, it probably involved inventing new ways to fuck up moving furniture, fiddling with his temper even further. You were like a mosquito, he decides. Too little to do real damage, too much to be ignored.

"There was this one time I was doing a bit about his virility and he said he could prove me wrong right there if I wanted." You were presently cross legged on an intricate rug (tribute from the Sun King's unfortunate allies), juggling a series of crystal balls (priceless artifacts, stained with blood by the 'divine' conqueror). "So I said 'You should know that I'm a eunuch', and he went, 'It doesn't matter.' We were hilarious."

The Usurper scratches his chin, half listening. It didn't sound hilarious, just weird. "You're sure he didn't bed you?"

"A joke is just a joke, you know."

"Okay. Just checking." Helel paused. "Then are you really a eunuch?"

"Are you gonna check that too?"

"No." You were really getting your money's worth from that previous temporary generalization.

…

After the walls and shelves were bare, and the loot was bundled up in leather bags, the Eclipse sank into one of the plush chairs, kicking his feet onto the table and massaging his temples. With any luck, you were as tired as he was, and he could slip away while you rested.

You yawned. "Ahh. That's enough for one day, I think." Helel watched as you plopped back down on your hideous cushion, procuring a lit pipe from thin air and taking a hefty drag. "Will you be looking for new furnishings?"

"Probably. This stuff is way too tacky."

A wisp of smoke drifts past, and the Morning Star feels that tell-tale foreboding feeling behind his shoulder again. "Will you be looking for new castle staff?" You bat your eyelashes.

He meets your expectant gaze with the exhaustion of someone who just fought another war and lost. "You're staying?"

Deliberately misinterpreting his question as a statement, you perk up, grinning from ear to ear. "Well, I can't refuse a direct order such as that! Especially not from his most esteemed, illustrious (and if I may add, very handsome) Majesty!" Bowing at the waist with a bell-bedecked flourish, you shoot back to eye level with hands clasped, nearly butting him in the head with your stupid hat. "When do I start work?"

...

(jump cut to jester being tossed out of tower window) this is too long to be funny but idc anymore. next time i'll write romance but i needed to fulfill my desire to annoy him

[desultory-novice]

Will MariPav continue, or is it, like, canceled?

"Ides Loss Bautifal Sarla~"

I know I'm Dess of the Frequently Neglected Promises, but I hold that the day "Marionettes' Pavane" is cancelled is the day I leave the fandom for good and not a moment before.

I'll admit I have splurged on sword boy content as art therapy for the past long while because I was in a rough place and he was good therapy as NO ONE is in as bad a place as Noi-... :cough cough: but trust me that I am absolutely ill about these two, and the reason you don't see me writing and drawing little sketches for them all the damn time is that, unlike the siblings' story, where I've been writing their lore off the cuff (ie: ma~king it up~) based on fan response, THEIR story is intricately plotted out, so there is slightly less room for the many randomly inspired side content that the siblings get.

(...Because I already wrote ALL of those down and worked them into the script!)

Also, I'm still supposed to be resting my eyes right now XD

-

Title source is EXEC_SPHILIA from Ar Tonelico 2, btw. One of several songs on my MariPav Marxolor inspirational playlist. The lyrics, the back and forth, it is so them in the context of this story.

Betrayed by the world...

...You and I are much alike...

Finding comfort in their mutual, smiling hatred of every.goddamn.thing. They are such antagonists! Sympathetic ones, tragic backstories included, but oh they burn with the desire to wreck stuff (and look good while doing it, sure)

And yes, call it cliche but MariPav Marx can sing really beautifully. When he wants to, that is. Marx can and WILL sing bad on purpose to annoy people and put them off guard of his true vocal capabilities. (Should he ever step up to the mic alongside Kirby... run.)

Magolor, just like in canon, has a fondness and innate talent for a variety of different musical instruments. He rarely had the leisure to practice but the reveal of Marx's singing capabilities sparked something in him and he has since taken them more seriously.

[alarmsofmyheart]

Alright let's start.

Jack and Joker U Steal My Heart

Ep 5

Hoi cares more than anyone.

GODFUCK! I had to pause. I've never seen an actual wine bottle be broken on anyone's head. The closest I saw that was in Doona and he used helmet. But damn. Joker sure loves Jack alot.

I'm stupid what did I expect when Joke returns the ring.. I just didn't think, if I saw it week after week, I might have thought so but yeah..

Sweet he bought medicine.

Ajajshssh Aran becomes the bait now.

Wound cleaning!!!

Mark looks so royal and pretty!!!

God Yin the acting🤣 Jack was so over the top!

Omg are the wearing the same outfits

What is this cat fight 🤣🤣🤣

Jack, your eyes, can't be hidden by that scarf mask. I'm reminded of that one episode in word of honor where they used a barely hiding scarf as mask, but this is atleast black in color.

Are they idiots or what?? Oh they just hate each other.

Hope knows what he likes - Save, beating up people, graphic designing.

Well Joke didn't have a nice dad or brother to learn driving from. And yeah he was in jail too.

Not them using a BMW to learn to drive😭😭😭

Nice sneaking way of listening.

Stop smiling Jack. He stopped.

New disguise 🥸🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

It's nice to see him act different roles in same show.

Aran roaming around with three buttons of that jacket is cute.

Did Aran just smile at Tatoo?

The number of times Joker got choked, if I drank each time in today's binge watch, I would have been drunk by now.

Did Jack just take over the call from Tatoo.. aw..

War's wig is bouncing with every step haha

Why is that place empty?

Awww Jack showed up! Oh it's the same bar!

Same, if everytime Joker got kicked in stomach and I drank, I would have developed acute liver failure by now.

Not Aran getting slapped twice. Boi you should not be fighting. That's why you have bodyguards😭

Did he just throw Aran on top off Tattoo and walk away🤣😭

Tooth and Tongue by P'Bird 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Did he stab Jack???

Double kick was so well shot. In sync. Dk how many takes it took, but it was good.

Jack, Joke and Ama sound the same because they both love you, you idiot.

Did Tatoo steal it again? What's wrong now??

Awww povidone in :) shape

More Wound Caring 🩷

War's eyes. Crazy mad Joker.

Joke forgave. ???!!!!!!!!!!!!

Terrace! Is it terrace or parking area!! Or both.. this is reminding me of Vee Mark terrace scene. Yin War - They have both grown up a little.

OHmy Jack forgave!

Does that mean more than what he means?

Oh damn my tablet died.

Not the 'theres a lot to eat, do you want to come over' cliche cutest thing

Awwwww Kicking my feet in the air, they are restarting. Gosh those few minutes was so good SO GOOD. I could write about it more and more but the rest of plot also takes up space. I will probably write about in rewatch sessions.

(Now I regret not watching the show since it was airing, this would have felt so much better if I had been watching and waiting for a month.)

The issue with not registering the marriage sure shows up in hundred different ways in the next generation's life. It's sad.

It's sad to see Rosé walk all over Aran, because yes, she has more money and legitimacy. Fuck all these hierarchies.

Aran being a decent boss' son by covering up this and that and everything was actually very angel baby of him.

Not Jack getting caught out of all those people. But it's for plot purposes. Let's wait.

So the preview shows Jack introducing Joke to his home tuition kids and then sleeping together. I'll pretend that information is not yet processed and I shall wait peacefully for the next episode.

[rise-my-angel]

wait did u had ideas or have ideas on how you would have wrote house of the dragon ( based on that prologue post u mentioned how got did a good job versus hotd telling really nothing)?? i sometimes think about it and someone once mentioned about writing it in the pov of the great houses and i just kept thinking bc i personally would have liked seeing something like; showing the targaryens just from afar, keeping them detached from everyone, really into that above all men, keeping the mystique and just showing them unreachable. it doesn’t make sense in a writing way, especially george’s world and the game of thrones world because even the villains were shown their complex sides. but idk it would have been lowkey interesting seeing them just like afar and the pov being the great houses. or even the smallfolk. i know that people joke all the time about hugh or ulf and that we don’t need their backstories but maybe even from a pov of them who in the future become dragonriders would have been a cool story. idk. something new and interesting and different but not too different. i mean writing about the privileged characters who are monarchy and trying to show the complex sides of even them it’s something that i like personally, but like it’s a hopeless story?! ofc seeing dragons and the politics are things that got people excited so idk how much would these ideas really make people watch but as i said it’s a hopeless story?! and not to be cliche but we do need the good guys or the “heroes” to root for or something good and real to root for.. even jace and sara could have been a good story?!?! but yeah hotd is disappointing

The thing is, they chose a very complicated story to tell. They had a lot to live up to, because the Dance of Dragons is one of the most pivitol wars in the history of the Targaryean dynasty and due to the nature of the book being framed as an in universe historical recounting, there is a lot of detail to consider.

They started off roughly, the narration flashback kills most of that interesting history. The details of the Great Council of 101 AC is very detailed, there was a lot going on and there is a lot of nuance to why they made the choices they made that go beyond "Viserys was a man". Yes that was part of why they overpassed Rhaenys, but they also passed on Laenor because he was a male heir through a female bloodline. So it isn't just women bad, men good. It's a very specifically structured system that is so dense it required near a thousand Lords to gather to discern how to handle Jaehaerys succession.

In truth, they had enough characters in the main show whom were there, that they needed to give the answers slowly. When Otto suggests Rhaenyra for heir to replace Daemon, that was the perfect opportunity to start exploring the history there. Say more then just that the Lords wont accept a female heir, explain why.

I think another issue is simply, they were bad at knowing when to hold back and when to cut things. I think they needed to focus in way more on the politics on the story then the details of the Targaryeans and their legacy or purpose. They needed to go in on the details about the politcs and why characters are doing what they are doing, instead of showing off the life around that.

Cut everything about the prophecy, it makes no sense and bogs down the pacing. Either make the plotline of Daemon fighting the Crab Feeder more relevant to the plot then just "this is what Daemons doing btw", or cut it entierly. It felt too disconnected from the politics of the story because they didn't really connect us to why that matters to this story. It felt like a side story for the wrong show.

They also made a very bad choice in framing. Fire and Blood presents as a historical texts, but with testimonies of different perspectives to explain that there is no affinitive prognosis on what is the full truth. The show made a bad choice by choosing what side was right, when in reality, it needed a mix. Show aspects of both sides, and for more, go in the middle. More often then not, when you have two vastly different descriptions of one incident, the actual truth is somewhere in the middle. The show needed to be that middle.

Also, a lot more focus needed to be on building up to Lucerys death. His death becomes the cataclyst for so much of the war, and they really needed to lean into the tension between the families before that. We needed to truly feel like these are two toxic sides of the same family, and peace was never going to be possible. By the time Viserys dies, we needed to feel that "oh shit". That moment of, he's done and nothing is in these families ways from starting their own ends.

I think the Green Council was their best episode, showing the time sensitive nature of crowning Aegon and all the details that went into that process. Now I think they should've stuck closer to the books events because it's simply the more ineteresting version, but thats personal opinion.

But the Black Queen, thus needed to be the true final nail in the coffin. They needed to the tension leading to his death, we know something bad is going to kick off this war, but we don't know what. Because when Lucerys sees Aemond at Storms End, it feels like things got tense out of nowhere when in reality, we needed that to be the climax of the episodes tension.

Season 2 though, is a mess. Fixing season 2 would require an episode by episode playthrough because I cannot elaborate here alone on why season 2s structure was so bad. It didn't need to be the book, but it still needed to be good, and it wasn't even on it's own merit.

Basically, I have ineterest in exploring how I'd fix hotd, but I'd really need to go in episode by episode because I think they had enough time to tell this story and they completely wasted it.

[skymagpie]

I was in the mood to discuss the most common criticisms for Below Zero today on Reddit because I feel like people do not give some of the writing of this game enough credit, it’s actually good, you just need to read a bit between the lines. Yes it could’ve been better, it was slightly underwritten, but the core line was great and with more polishing it would’ve been excellent. I can probably talk more about it (and I will make my full rant one day), but I just felt this at the moment.

[ ID: Reddit reply from user ‘SkyMagpie’ reading: I think it also comes down to taste and to each individual person, so I respect that some people will not like the plot. I have to just disagree on some of the points and comment on others because these discussions come up often (SPOILER WARNING for people reading this):

I think the current version of the story is less cliche and stereotypical than the original version (from the early access which was written by the same writer from the 1st Subnautica game). There Al-An was cold, uncaring and an asshole. Some aspects of that story were better (Robin working for Alterra and having a change of heart), but some were worse (Al-An being the stereotypical asshole alien and the villain guy being a clearly bad guy with malicious intent)

.Al-An is not an emotionless computer to whom Robin has to teach emotions, he knows emotions - he clearly realizes right away that Robin is angry that he invaded her mind and decides to give her space to process it, he talks how his people upon realizing their mortality found a shrine to think on what it means to die, he asks her about memories (so he is trying to process grief) and he correctly notes that she is upset about her sister's death and copes with food. He clearly understands Robin's emotions and his emotional changes come from within himself and not from Robin, he chooses to hide information from her and he is also scared she will be mad at him for it. The only thing Robin show's Al-An are human customs and cultural elements as well as human concepts such as music for the purpose of entertainment, having pets just out of pleasure of doing so and the meaning of poetry when referring to abstract concepts such as "hope".

To go off my last point, Al-An has knowledge, but he has a hard time grasping human concepts because he has not lived with humans. It's the same about not being able to understand jokes and comedy between IRL cultures because the difference in language and way of living means that a part of the joke is lost (for example not all people who don't speak English well or are familiar with British culture will find British humor funny). This is what Robin teaches him. Al-An knows what hope means in the semantic sense, but he doesn't know what hope means to humans. To Emily Dickinson, hope is the thing with feathers - even we as humans who know the poem can disagree on the meaning of hope and interpret the poem differently. I feel that Al-An's writing broke out of the common stereotypes for aliens in subtle ways which are not obvious straight away. A lot of his ignorance came off as charming curiosity rather than instant dismissal of emotion. The note he leaves Robin after she tells him the Emily Dickinson poem is really sweet and shows his willingness to learn and to understand.

Robin and Al-An mutually helped each other go through grief and came out changed. I'd argue that Robin's character is probably the weakest point of the story because it is not clear when she changes and she comes off as preachy, but she is still driving the story forward with enough space for us as players to insert our own emotions. The story with Sam was good, but I think it was pretty brave to take the less obvious route and not just have Alterra be evil and kill Sam, covering her murder as Robin believed, rather have Sam die because she wanted to do something good and she screwed up - she still did well, but not everyone walks out a hero, and in this she parallels Al-An who had a good idea and drove his race to extinction because he also screwed up. Not everyone walks out unscathed. But Al-An learned from Robin and Sam as much as Robin learned from his story and found peace with her sister's death. Robin finally met Sam after she died and learned that her sister was brave and willing to fight what she believed in, even if it ended in tragedy.

Thank you if you read this far, I just think that this story is very cute and it falls together nicely. Maybe the original premise is cliche, but the elements make it very interesting if people are willing to dive into them. That goes for most stories, strip any story down to it's summary and you will get the same stories over and over, but its the way the are told and the execution that people enjoy, that's where the charm is and for me personally this was a really nice story. However it's okay if some people don't like it. And we have to note that Subnautica games are PG10+ so these were written with a younger audience in mind and the plot lines are simpler for children to grasp. Older players and fans have enough things to dig through to still be entertained by the story. The original Subnautica had a pretty cliche story line too, but the way it was executed in combination with the world is what makes it so lovable. When it comes to story, both games are equally good in my opinion.” end ID ]

[seriouslycromulent]

Countdown to My Favorite Holiday

So today is the one week mark until Halloween, and it is my favorite holiday of the year. I know that seems cliche these days given how much some people go out of their way -- and budget -- to decorate their homes in an even bigger fashion than they do for Christmas. But I was loving All Hallows Eve before any home animatronics became fashionable. 

Well, I tend to celebrate the day a little bit differently than most, but I’m no less excited for it. I keep my home decor subtle, but the spirit is full. 

Speaking of spirit, one of things I’m doing this year is enjoying a short, but spirited film festival for the 10 days leading up to Halloween. Why only 10 days? 

Well, because I actually went out of town for a week in the middle of the month, and I couldn’t start the film fest until after I came back home. Anyhoo, I’ve decided for my own mini-fest that I’ll only watch seasonal Halloween-themed films that I’ve never seen before, then on Halloween night, I’ll watch a couple of my favorites. 

So what have I been watching since Sunday night?

Here’s what I finally gave my full attention in the spirit of the season and a few thoughts about each …

Sunday: Coraline

Yes, I know. I know. I’ve never seen it before now. Shame on me. [yadda, yadda, yadda] But now that I have seen it, I can say that I see why it’s beloved, but not why some people think it’s unsuitable for children. 

I suppose it depends on the child, of course. But I didn’t think the subject matter or the imagery were particularly violent or harmful. The plot is definitely unsettling and disturbing, so I guess it could cause nightmares in someone’s child. But to be fair, I could say that about most Halloween-season movies, except the most family friendly ones, like Hocus Pocus or Hotel Transylvania.

I think I would’ve been fine to watch Coraline when I was about 6 or 7 years old, but then again, I was not a normal child. 😏

Monday: Odd Thomas

I absolutely loved this film! Talk about regretting not watching it sooner. 

Yes, it’s bittersweet to watch how Anton Yelchin gave yet another amazing acting performance knowing he left us far too soon. And he really was amazing in this! I’m not blowing smoke. The only parts of his performance that felt a little awkward was when he was required to physically punch or fight someone, but even that fit the character of someone who was the “odd one out” his whole life and spent more time developing his supernatural skills than working out or taking martial arts classes.

I know the film is based on the most popular novel Dean Koontz ever wrote, but sadly, I never read it so I don’t know if the film did it justice. I only know that I enjoyed the hell out of it. I adored both the sci-fi/horror aspect of the story, but also the murder mystery side of the tale as well. 

And can I say how refreshing it was to see a tale about a small-ish town oddball who wasn’t alone and desperate for friends or a support system. (Talk about a trope that gets way too much screen time!) Even though Odd is not popular or one of the cool kids/adults, he still manages to grow up and find love, support from people who believe in his abilities, and a strong sense of purpose where he can align his gift with his values. 

In his own way, Odd Thomas may be the most emotionally healthy sci-fi/horror superhero I’ve seen in an American film in my lifetime. He’s proof that not all heroes need to feel constantly alienated, alone, or afraid in order to be relatable or genuine. 

He’s just a guy with supernatural powers living life, helping the dead, helping the living so they don’t become dead, and making the best out of the unusual hand he was dealt.

Sadly, I did see the moment in the ending coming. (No spoilers.) And if I had to write it over again, I wouldn’t change anything because it was a perfect ending for a truly beautiful story. I’ll definitely watch this film again once I’m finished with my seasonal filmfest. 

And I recommend it to anyone who hasn’t seen it yet.

Tuesday: Edward Scissorhands

OK. I can hear your gasps as I type. Yes, up until Tuesday, I had not seen Edward Scissorhands either. Sure, I watched clips from over the years, and I know what the story is about. But I never really took the time to watch the whole film.

When it comes to Tim Burton/Johnny Depp pairings, I prefer Sleepy Hollow above all else. But the goal this year was to watch only films that I hadn’t seen for my All Hallows filmfest, so here we are. 

Overall, I liked it. I think after listening to years of hype, there was no way it could live up to the hype. But I still enjoyed it. Plus, it gave me the joy of seeing Vincent Price in his last major onscreen role before he died. 

I was also surprised that after all these years, I never knew Anthony Michael Hall was in it. Seriously, no one ever mentions him when talking about this film. Which, if you think about it, is kind of weird. Especially considering he’s the main antagonist. 

Oh well. I’m glad I finally saw it. And although it had the vibe of a Charles Busch-meets-John Waters film more than a Tim Burton film, I felt it met the expectations of what I’ve come to appreciate about Burton’s style and execution. 

Wednesday: The Love Witch

What to say about The Love Witch? Um … aesthetically speaking, it was lovely to look at. 

Let’s see. What else? 

Jeffrey Vincent Parise was pretty awesome in it. Like seriously, when I saw him appear on the screen, my first thought was: “What are you doing in this? Are you friends with the director or producer or something? Did you owe them a favor?”

To be fair, the film isn’t terrible. And even if it was, terrible films can still be entertaining. (Example: The Lair of the White Worm) Sadly though, The Love Witch is not one of those films. 

I found myself really wanting to like it because apparently it’s reached “cult status" since it came out in 2017, and I usually like anything that tends to fall under that label. But this is not one of those times. 

A common complaint that I saw on IMDB was that the film was too long. And there are few scenes that definitely could be trimmed for length – namely the “wedding” scene at the forest festival – but the film isn’t even at the halfway point before you start to feel like it’s dragging. So I’m inclined to think it’s more of a pacing problem than a running time problem. 

Also, the effort to recreate a 1960s pastiche in the style of Hammer Studio classics was much appreciated, but I think it either didn’t go far enough to emulate the style or it was hampered by its other flaws, making the homage feel ... unfinished. For example, you can’t tell if the bad acting is intentional or it’s just bad acting. 

Like I said, Jeffrey Vincent Parise was tops. And Laura Waddell as Trish was pretty good as well. But everyone else kind of left me wondering if the choices they made were on purpose or the director asked them to play it that way. 🤷🏽‍♀️

With that said, it’s not awful. It’s just not as good as the “cult status” label claims it is. Aesthetically speaking, I’d say it’s worth a watch at least once.

However, it doesn’t truly deserve to be included in my Halloween season filmfest. Why? Because IMO the very loose interpretation of witchcraft included in the film wasn’t enough to have it reflect the spirit of my favorite season.

—-

Ok. That's it for now. More news on the filmfest as it continues through next week.

[v4varda]

#1 | HIERARCHY

Okay ive just got done watching episode four, i only have two episodes left but i wont be able to finish it by tonight and i cant hold off these thoughts lest they get scattered n lost forever, so here goes.

firstly, to start off on a bit of a negative note, i think the cast is quite bland and the acting is a bit underwhelming and is only being saved by the toss and turn of the plot and i acknowledge that it may just be victim to netflix's mass production of kdramas, but despite all that it’s oddly hooking. I’m quite surprised considering it usually takes me forever to watch a start a show, maybe there is a charm to cliche, predictable shows.

the plot is very fast paced and if you watch in one sitting, can give you vertigo from how fast the relationships develop (*cough* ole girl and the mc), you barely have a chance to learn the characters or connect in anyway before plot twist after plot twist is chucked at you. The chemistry between the “lovers” is absolutely nonexistent and it doesn’t help that the two actors have one single fixed expression throughout every scene, like omg give us a little tension, something? they trying so hard to make them seem like a brooding, enigmatic pair, but they both seem so bored.

also, everyone’s a dickhead in this show, except for the mc, who’s an upstanding member of society (so cliche, i know). the biggest dickheads to me are the bystanders, who had the power to tip the scales in the victim’s favor but did nothing (yes im shading our brooding lovers). but surprisingly, i quite enjoyed the moral ambiguity aspect of every character, you really cant narrow down a single villain (besides the killer, obviously) which maybe was done on purpose to show how rotten and self subsisting the system is, and how the system really just is whatever the wealthy and the elite allow.

im going to finish the show now and be back to complete this.

[mermaidsirennikita]

I saw your ranking of Kresley Cole's IAD women. Do you have a favorite male character?

Yeah, I have a few. I mean, it's cliche to say this because he's like... an obvious fan favorite... But if I was really being honest, Lothaire is likely my favorite. I mean, I think he's the most developed character in the series (and once Nix gets her book, God willing, maybe she'll junior or exceed him). But he's also just so funny, and so insane, and unfortunately, very hot. How can I not love a dude who, when his pseudo-girlfriend (at the time) gets mad at him for mercilessly beheading a bunch of shifters, says it's "not like I'm going around cockslapping gnomes"? How can you expect me to not love someone who describes skull-fucking randoms as his "mischievous youth"???

And while I do think his romance is INCREDIBLE and part of why I love Lothaire is that he loves Ellie so much and I also love Ellie so much... I mean. He's one of the best parts of Dreams of a Dark Warrior, an UNDERRATED CLASSIC. He gets tortured by Declan Chase and talks about how long it took someone to cut his dick off with whip lashes once, because it's sooooo big (and since regenerated). He kicks Thad off a cliff and then Thad becomes HIS ONLY FRIEND LMAO. He wears a Panama hat??? Like Stede in that episode of Our Flag Means Death??? He blackmails Declan Chase, a man who hates all monsters, into letting him tap his blood on demand and GETS A BONER WHILE DOING IT (bi Lothaire confirmed). Regin screams to Declan about how Lothaire drinking Declan's blood means he now has Declan's memories of Declan and Regin fucking, and he walks up like "Oh nO WORRIES, I have already WATCHED YOU TWO FUCK A MILLION TIMES IN REAL LIFE LIKE A CREEP". The entire WEIRD boy's club scene where Lothaire gives Declan advice about negging Regin into forgiving him and everyone goes "Oh shit, that's great advice actually" and iT WORKS.

(And then later he gives Trehan advice about Bettina... and it works. And he gives Munro advice about Kereny... and it works. The point is that Lothaire can not do his own relationship to save his life which is why he literally lets his lungs explode in order to win Ellie's favor back, he doesn't even know how to get Ellie to forgive him without near-death.)

But I mean. There are so many heroes I love in that series, just like I love so many heroines. Like I said, I haven't given an IAD book less than 4 stars. They really work for me.

Other standout heroes for me would be like... Garreth MacRieve who I think is probably one of the best boyfriends? Of the series? Like, does he hunt Lucia across the world for a year while she's desperately trying to evade him? Sure. Does he sorta try to seduce her into breaking her supernatural vow of chastity? Yes, he does. Does e not care about her god-given mission at all because women shouldn't have to have jobs? Yeah, and maybe HE WAS RIGHT. But he's also soooo sexy, and sooooo wolfy and sooooo loyal and sooooo romantic. The butterfly he named after her! Garreth SMELLING Lucia masturbating and having a freakout because he's in a cage and she's upstairs and SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO GET HERSELF OFF NO SHE IS PRINCESS! Him holding his werewolfitude back as long as possible until he's like "fuck it I can't deal" and runs howling through the jungle for her??? The ENTIRE VALKYRIE PLOT OF "OH WE'LL JUST HAVE LUCIA FEEL PAIN ON PURPOSE SO THE WOLF GUY COMES TO SAVE HER"??? "She was born to be found by me"??? "Werewolves are natural investigators" lOL I CAN'T. Child-free by choice, but would have Garreth MacRieve's 7 werewolf children.

Conrad Wroth, who I think is just like.... a ragged open wound of insanity and romantic longing and pent up sexual energy... Like, Conrad has one of theeee hottest biting scenes in the series, imo. And also, just the sad hilarity of him swearing his chastity to a cult of vampire hunters, then getting forcibly turned into a vampire by his brothers and doomed to centuries of virginity??? And then he does meet his Bride and she's a GHOST??? *Curb Your Enthusiasm theme plays*

Rydstrom Woede is.... really hot... I love a morally upright man driven to horrible crimes. The minute Rydstrom THE GOOD BROTHER showed up in Cade's book, shirtless, tired, scratches all over his chest, with a woman screaming in the background like "HELP!!!" while he goes "don't. ask." I was gone. Then he turned out to be a legit DADDY who's into spanking and punishing Sabine and he feels gross and weird about it? Please. Theeeeen his first real smile in his own book is when she flips him off? PLEEEEEEEASE.

And of course, Uilleam "Will" MacRieve, "MacRieve", The MacRieve, of the novel titled MacRieve. I mean, listen, he's hot. He has such rough animalistic sex CONSISTENTLY that they call him Bucket List. But he's soooo sad. And don't get me wrong, he does some fucked up shit and I won't deny it. But his backstory. Made me cry lol. His entire journey. Made me cry. Him on his knees crying into Chloe's stomach because he wants to be better and heal for her but he can't??? Made me cry. His journey isn't for everyone, but I found it gorgeous. And also, did I laugh so much when they were like "well MacRieve, your woman needs sex healing, and we can't trust you to do it, so I don't know man maybe she needs to be double-teamed by some incubi" and he literally flinched because his inner werewolf instinct went SCREAMING at him??? Yes I did. He had no thoughts for like a solid five minutes. Just static.

... so those are my top 5... I also very much love all the other Wroth brothers (my 1D), Lachlain MacRieve (crazy werewolf king turned "Mature Dad Friend"), Bowen MacRieve (the original fuckboy/BEAST FAMILIAR), Trehan Daciano ("babe look I got you this bag of... severed heads... oh.... that wasn't...... the request..."), Rune Darklight (cue the TWO STANDING OVATIONS HE GOT FROM BITCHES HE'D FUCKED LMAO), and uh......... Declan Chase (..... I won't be defending this choice). And THAD, even though Thad isn't a hero. YET!

[the-golden-ghost]

This may be vague, but you mentioned that your OCs/story are set in an alternate version of the 1930s, and you also mentioned Horrors, and I'd love to hear some more about the setting! Where it is, the general Vibe, more about the Business, etc?

THANK YOU FOR ASKING

Okay this is admittedly not Set In Stone but yes, my working Year Setting was going to be circa 1930s, although I'm very tempted to steal a page from ASOUE and just set it in "the year of the horse" i.e. "it's whatever year it needs to be for plot convenience"

The Horrors are... well. Essentially some twenty-odd years back the world got Twilight Zoned and now weird shit happens with increasing and unending regularity. I'm still deciding whether I want this to be worldwide OR just localized to a small area. Possibly even JUST the shop. I don't know yet either exactly how The Horrors began occurring, or if that's even a question that needs answering.

The shop is a pawnshop that I may switch to an antique shop in final. They're not the same thing but admittedly I don't know which would serve my purpose better and they have pros and cons. Like for example antiques would be more Haunted, but antique shops do not pawn, nor do they really buy from their clients and resell (much).

Plus I think an antique shop would be slightly cliche and I think a haunted flatscreen TV would be hilarious.

But ANYWAY

The business was Sam's, Faith took it over seven years after his death. Whether it was an inheritance or just... a case of her finding a derelict haunted shop and being like "I'm gonna bring that back to life" I'm not sure yet. Sam's ghost is still there of course, but the shop is haunted by more than just him. It kinda has a life of its own.

[ahalal-uralma]

I don’t think anyone should limit their feelings according to a majority acceptance on who is relevant. This is not why any writer writes or why any story exists. Every character serves a unique purpose to the plot and every character is going to affect it’s reader uniquely. This is what makes reading so special and magical. This is what is beautiful about it.

Yes, Wendy Darling is a central character…but, that doesn’t make her strictly important and valuable to the plot or to anyone who chooses to enjoy it, nor is anyone obligated to like her character specifically just because she is the central character.

Some people grew up resonating with Peter Pan, others with Tinker Bell, or The Lost Boys, or yes, Captain Hook; or other characters like the Mermaids, the Piccaninny Tribe (as well as Tiger Lily) and/or the Pirates. Hell, there are people who relate with Mr. Smee or who just like the crocodile.

She might not be absolutely popular with everyone, but she is still loved by many and her story shouldn’t be considered as a message to override the comfort and pleasure the other character’s bring to readers. This will only bring a feeling of pain and loss to those who found escape and solace in character’s that helped them cope with life’s troubles and struggles. Because, I think that’s the other major integral message of Peter Pan—is how we deal with our own pain and desires for escape.

Peter Pan himself escaped an adulthood he didn’t want to face and spends his permanently suspended youth looking for other people to share the same reality with (all in an effort to evade the further pain of loneliness, hence his kidnappings and the birth of the Lost Boys).

Captain Hook also can’t face the pain of his childhood and has surrounded himself with like-minded men (aka the pirates).

Additionally, one of these character’s is a representation of someone who didn’t cope well with the fear of the past and the other is someone that holds onto fear for the future. These two entities clash and take their pains and phobias out on one another. They are haunted by each other’s presence to the point of bloodlust and try to kill one another. Wendy is both the liminal and exterior of these experiences.

Who the hero is really is up to the reader and how they felt saved by the work they are diving into; and sometimes that hero isn’t a person with a cliche message about goodness or is a person who is ambiguous with always making good decisions, because people aren’t ethically black and white, and aren’t always going to root for character’s based morally on that.

The fact that there is debate says a lot about the author’s intentions in itself, he wants his readers to think more deeply about the world and their places in it, how they value their time alive, and their overall outlook on existence…it’s not something to look at dismissively with callousness or juvenile arrogance. Life is precious and uncontrollable.

Everyone always wants to talk about Hook or Pan. Everyone always wants to debate which one is good and which is evil - who we’re supposed to follow and who we aren’t. The Peter Pan mythos has pretty much shrunk down to nothing but Hook and Pan (Hook, SyFy’s Neverland, Pan, OUAT, etc). Occasionally Tinkerbell factors in (Hook, Disney’s Tinkerbell, OUAT, etc). There’s one character, however, that always gets sidelined - which is puzzling since they are the main character of both the play and the book. That character is, of course, Wendy Darling.

Peter Pan is Wendy’s coming of age story. Wendy who decides to run away from home. Wendy who realizes that she must grow up - and that there’s no shame in that. Wendy who sees Peter as deficient and sees Hook as empty and decides that, no, she doesn’t want to be a part of that. Wendy gets the adventure she’s always wanted and she turns away because she realizes that it’s lacking. She’s the only one who truly sees the hollowness of being young forever. Barrie even says “You need not be sorry for her. She was one of the kind that likes to grow up. In the end she grew up of her own free will a day quicker than other girls.”

People always debate on who the hero is. When they learn that Peter could be horrid they assume it has to be Hook. Of course, the answer is that neither of them are the hero. Wendy is the hero of the story. You’re not supposed to be like Peter, who kept every good and bad aspects of being a child and can’t tell right from wrong. You’re not supposed to be Hook, either. He let go of everything childish and loving about him and became bitter and evil. They’re both the extreme ends of the scale. You’re supposed to fall in the middle, to hold onto the things about childhood that make it beautiful - the wonder, the imagination, the innocence - while still growing up and learning morality and responsibility. You’re not supposed to be Hook. You’re not supposed to be Peter Pan.

You’re supposed to be Wendy Darling. 

[columboscreens]

I'm glad to see you also get annoyed by the lamer "gotcha" moments

a good "gotcha" in Columbo is amazing. but then you have others where it's like. he looks at a video tape and sees a very obvious and incontrovertible proof of who the killer was

or he lies about evidence to get a confession by implying they can prove the guy did it

or the worst, he arrests the killer's innocent son in a bid to make the guy confess, even though an innocent person would confess to save their kid too in many circumstances

that's not him being a great detective or outwitting the guy (or woman), that's not him having inspiration to put together what he had overlooked. it's just not impressive

if anything it makes him look incompetent, having to resort to lying to the killer about having proof in order to coerce a confession is not something a brilliant detective does

that's just my opinion though. he doesn't do that often but when he does it's annoying. like I love him tricking the bad guys, but I just want a higher quality deception. I mean, if the guy confesses based on false evidence, he only lost because he's a complete idiot

maybe people didn't know in the 70s, 80s, 90s, but you never confess to cops, you don't talk to them at all if you're a suspect. even if they have you dead to rights, your confession won't help you, they're not bound to honor deals and have no power to make them, and they can & will lie about evidence in order to get you to confess

I prefer it when the killer is as smart or even smarter than Columbo, when they make no major mistakes, but Columbo's ability to read people and play them allows him to still win

or, his persistence pays off, because no matter how perfect your crime, any mistake can sink you, you have to do everything right in order to get away with it

I mean that's what it's all about, cat and mouse, matching wits, he uses psychology and just nudges people to get them to do what he wants and they don't even realize it

tricking them into voluntarily incriminating themselves with strong evidence, that's what I like to see, personally

sorry this is so long I just really love Columbo and love to see people who love it too. also I know this is largely complaining but like, I'm complaining because the series sets such a high standard that things passable in other shows are below that standard for this one

also I just want to point out, "person finds out whodunit and blackmails the killer only to become the next victim" was an annoying cliche decades before Columbo first aired, and often (but not always) it has little bearing on the mystery or the plot or characters and it is there simply to make a boring mystery more exciting. it's rarely been used well imo

it can be. Columbo did sometimes. but often it's just there for cheap thrills, often it never gets mentioned again 5 minutes after it has happened. that's when it's been used wrong

don't apologize! this is a columbo safe space where you can go nuts over the little guy. hell, i ramble about him at length all the time and for some reason people put up with it. let it all out……

columbo as a show practically begs you not to talk to cops. the entire thing is a cautionary tale. in fact, columbo specifically tells those who he knows are innocent but look bad to shut up and lawyer up. this is important for what i mention a bit later in this post

sir. i'm a cop and you're innocent. shut the fuck up

more under the cut because Long...

i agree that second killings are seldom done very well. one time i can remember a good second killing off the top of my head was in stitch in crime where leonard nimoy (yes, leonard nimoy himself) killed the ex-addict vet. it's believable, executed convincingly, and raises the stakes of the case. it has purpose other than just OOO SOMEONE ELSE DIIEED

i like seeing a mix of murderers, but yeah hands down the best ones are the ones who can go head to head with columbo and actually give him a run for his money. seeing him take down a fellow genius (ransom for a dead man, blueprint for murder, identity crisis, sky high IQ) is sublime. seeing him crush someone average depends on how strong the rest of the episode is (negative reaction, swan song). seeing him crush an absolute simpleton is really funny but makes for pretty poor viewing relatively speaking (murder in malibu, fade into murder kind of).

some gotchas are better than others, but really slick ones are hard to come up with, so i try to cut them some slack. tends to be that the more reliant on a snappy gotcha a columbo episode is, the worse it is. the reboot was especially bad about that; peter falk got older, gained a lot of creative control, sort of lost touch with what made the show good, and started demanding fireworks at the end of every episode regardless of necessity lmao

i have a feeling that some endings which seemed very clever on paper probably played out less so, but even some of those are still justifiable. you referred to mind over mayhem, where columbo arrests dr. cahill's son in a bid to get him to confess. i do agree that that episode was a bit humdrum overall, gotcha included, but you could argue that it was columbo's intuition that led him to fake the arrest in the first place. it wasn't a brash, empty threat--he knew cahill loved his son enough to kill his colleague to ensure academic success, he's not gonna let him take the fall for a murder he committed. columbo's exploitation of that intense paternal love is the basis for that setup, so as much of a cop-out as it seemed, i can still accept it.

really, the lack of evidence is why he has to set up those sting ops in the first place. columbo may have enough evidence to convince himself, but nothing he can prove beyond reasonable doubt to a jury. he can't just saunter up to the DA like "sir i'm gettin bad vibes from this guy", he needs proof.

so when the killer is too slick to leave any real loose threads behind, columbo has to play dirty. and that is indeed part of his character, however inferior it may be to more clever setups. despite all his warmth he is indeed still a devious little bastard; it's at the very heart of his character. sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures.

(i've said my piece about it on twitter lately but obviously we know columbo's "desperate measures" are mostly unrealistic. we love him because we know he's a good person and RIGHT all the time but if he weren't. my god he'd be evil)

not to go IT'S JUST TV MAN because these discussions are great, but that is what it is at the end of the day! and sometimes the flow of the story, the pomp, and the entertainment factor trump the potential legality or logic of what you're seeing.

speaking of stitch in crime, that one's a good example of a head-scratching gotcha, too. i actually screened it for some friends recently and we had a discussion on the ending's flaws. in a real surgery, every item is diligently inventoried. if a dozen medical staff watched nimoy remove the suture and then an entire police search party barged in and couldn't find it, there would indeed be a big problem in that OR! he wouldn't just be allowed to amble up to his office all hunky dory lol. it'd be almost as damning as if they'd found it on him. by that point, columbo would've thought to check himself in the OR and would just snag him there in front of everybody.

they're normal. sort of. i promise

that's a more realistic go at it, sure, but is it as fun to watch? do we get the little feinted exit, the short-lived sigh of relief? does it have that element of dramatic flair, literal and figurative comeuppance? not really! columbo is as much about theatre as it is about crime--i'd argue moreso. that's part of the magic.

[superbdragoncollection-stuff]

Watching a bunch of 70s PSAs weirdly, shows how this sort of thing comes in cycles. You'll see a bunch of attempts at being meta and self aware in freaking after school PSAs! And they are so terribly written, but they remind me so much of a bunch of cliches today!

Also, this is why I like the Lightyear movie. It is very earnest. It delivers an excellent, tragic, and heartwarming sci-fi story in the vein of many classics.

It takes a joke from Frozen about not being able to marry someone you just met, and like Shrek, turns it into a means to an end! It's a joke, yes, but it's a plot purpose! The response is, "I met her five years ago. You've been gone that long, Buzz."

The important thing to remember is that, when Shrek came out in 2001, its subversive, ironical tone was groundbreaking because it was up against a Disney machine that played everything completely straight (notwithstanding "Emperor's New Groove", which came out a few months earlier). Then Disney itself bought into that tone and hegemonized it, and now, movies that actually take their own fucking characters and premises seriously feel like a breath of fresh air.

[sundaysundaes]

Love Bites

Lee Donghyuck/Haechan X Reader, ft. Mark Lee | Vampire AU, Roommates AU | Smut, Fluff, Humor, Romance

Summary: Supernatural creatures don’t scare you, so when the cute neighbor who lives just across the hallway offers you a chance to move in for cheaper rent, you agree in a heartbeat--even when he consumes human blood on a daily basis.

Warnings: Smut, vampire sex, sex in front of a mirror, blood sucking, unprotected sex, slight choking. For the sake of the plot, Y/N is slightly intoxicated in this fic (drunk sex). Please don’t read this fic if this makes you feel uncomfortable. I also don’t approve nor allow taking advantage of your romantic partner while they are under the influence of alcohol.

Supernatural things don’t really scare you. Growing up in a family that tells urban legends and mystical myths as bedtime stories makes you feel somewhat reserved toward spooky stuff, to the point that you won’t even bat an eyelash during a jump scare at literally any scary movie out there. It’s not like you’ve seen any supernatural creatures with your own eyes but you believe in their existence, especially when you live in a town where freaky things happen on daily basis. 

You’re not sure about werewolves and zombies, but vampires do roam the earth the second the moon replaces the sun. It’s not merely a rumor anymore, it’s a fact. But they keep their presence in secret, trying to act as humanly as possible so they won’t gather unnecessary attention. And since no one has found any dead bodies with bite marks or severe blood loss, people don’t really identify them as a threat. You perceive things in a similar way. As long as they don’t bother you, then you can co-exist in peace. That’s what you believe.

So when you visit your neighbor in the middle of the night, the cute guy—probably still in his early twenties—who lives just across the hallway, you figure you’ll see him smiling back, maybe even offer you a cup of coffee out of courtesy. Now, you don’t usually barge into someone else’s apartment even when the front door is unlocked, but seeing how the two of you are already on a first-name basis, always greet each other with a nod whenever your eyes make eye contact, you think to yourself, “Yeah, he wouldn’t mind if I come in, would he? What’s the worst thing that could happen? He’s too cute to be a serial killer anyway.” Which, you realize soon enough, was a poor, terrible logic on your part. 

But you turn over his doorknob with a click and invite yourself in.

So clearly, you do not expect to see him sitting bare-chested on the couch with his girlfriend’s legs hooked around his waist. Clearly, you do not expect to see his hand yanking at the roots of her hair, forcing her to expose the column of her neck and making her call his name in the most wanton moan you’ve ever heard in your life—even if you’ve had a fair share of watching porn movies (for research purposes). And you most clearly do not expect to see him sinking his canines deep into her skin, not caring when trails of blood start to taint her bare shoulder and groaning in bliss as he relishes the taste of her blood.

So naturally, the only thing you can think of is:

Oh shit.

“Wait!” A hand finds its way to tangle around your wrist when you slip behind his front door to run back to your own. His icy cold skin makes you flinch in surprise but you keep your face still. As you turn around to see the owner, you’re greeted by the sight of him with his eyes turning as dark as the night. His brunette hair is made of curls and waves, seems unbelievably soft and silky with bangs almost covering his eyes. His lips and cheeks are smeared with fresh blood, possibly from trying to wipe his mouth in hurry with the back of his hand. His fangs are no longer shown and although he seems breathless, you can tell he’s not breathing from how still his chest is moving (but you’re too distracted with the sight of how toned it is). His black jeans are hanging dangerously low on his hips, unbuttoned but not yet unzipped, and it’s harder for you to not stare at his v-lines compared to the amount of blood that painted his lips.

Trying to act nonchalant, you simply ask, “Yes?”

“This isn’t what it looks like.”

“Oh, so you’re not a vampire drinking blood from your girlfriend’s neck?”

He gapes, eyes growing wide, before, “Okay, then it is what it looks like.”

You retract your hand, giving him a formal nod. “Cool.” 

“Cool?”  

“Yeah, as in, no problem. You have a kink. I understand.”

“No, I mean—” He pinches the bridge of his nose, somewhat dizzy from your reaction. “Why are you so calm about this?”

You frown. “I’m confused. Would you rather have me freak-out and tell our landlord that you’ve been spilling maiden’s blood on his carpet?”

“Well, no, but—” He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Also, I’m a professional. I don’t leave stains.”

“Congratulations, I’m impressed.” You clap your hands twice, face blank. “Well anyway, I guess I owe you an apology. I didn’t mean to sneak into your apartment without permission and disturb your…” You scratch your cheek, attempting to find the right word. “Late night snacking time—”

“Oh, God.” He rubs his palm over his face but before he can protest any further, his lover is calling him from the inside of his room.

“Lee Donghyuck, come back to me. I haven’t come yet.”

You stare flatly at him, trying not to look as judgmental as possible but most likely failing terribly at it. “She sounds nice.”

He mirrors the look on your face. “Yeah well, she tastes nice.”

“Ugh, too much info there, buddy.”

“No, I mean, her blood, not—” You’re not sure whether vampires can blush but this one surely seems like one. “Why did you even come here again?”

“Oh, that’s right.” You remember. “This is totally cliche and I wish I could say a better excuse but I was making coffee and ran out of sugar. Do you have some I can borrow? And maybe some cream?”

“Seriously?” It’s supposed to be a sarcastic response, but when he sees you nodding your head, he adds, “Do I look like I drink coffee in my spare time?”

“You spend eternity without drinking coffee?” You gasp, laying a hand on your heart. “I feel sorry for you.”

“Leave. Please.”

***

On the next evening, you find yourself crossing the hallway and knocking on his apartment’s door again. Knowing how patience has never been one of your virtues, you try to turn his doorknob after your third knock. Like last night, it’s unlocked with a click so you invite yourself in, calling his name.

“Lee Donghyuck, are you here—”

“I really need to fix that stupid lock.” 

The sound of his voice startles you when he suddenly walks into view, but not as much as the sight of him with a white towel hanging around his neck, his wet hair dripping water to his bare chest, and another towel wrapped around his waist. 

He notices you’re staring so with a small smirk, he comments, “So you’re fine seeing me with human’s blood on my face but completely left in shocked when I’m half-naked?”

You put your best effort to act unfazed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You do know us vampires can tell when you’re lying, right? We can hear your heartbeat.”

“And yet, you didn’t hear me coming into your apartment last night.”

“I was…” He narrows his eyes. “Distracted.”

“You mean you were too horny to notice.”

“You—” He exhaled loudly, perhaps a habit he invented to make him seem more human. “Why are you here again today?”

“Can’t I greet my neighbor?”

He snorts loudly but walks away, throwing himself on the couch. “Seriously, why aren’t you surprised about this?”

“About you being a vampire? Or about your God awful taste in women?”

“Yeah?” He mocks back, making a face. “As if your boyfriend Mark Lee is any better.” When he sees a blush blooming on your face, he snickers. “Enlighten me, Sweetheart. How does it feel to have a lover that only last for one minute during—”

“Okay, I’ll take my words back. Everything. Can we move on, please?” You try to yank yourself back to your normal state, even when you feel downright ashamed. “So, this vampire thing. How long have you been a vampire?”

“Long enough.”

“How old were you when you first turned?”

“Young enough.”

“How often do you drink human blood?“

“Often enough.”

You glare at him, earning a sly grin in return. “You’re not taking me seriously, are you?”

He sends you the best serious expression he can manage. “Serious enough.”

“Right, okay, I’m leaving. Have fun being an asshole for eternity.”

But the second you turn around in your heels, Donghyuck is already on the other side of the room,  closing his front door and leaning his back against it. “Now, now, you come in as you please, uninvited. You don’t think I’ll let you go just like that, right?”

You raise an eyebrow in question. “What do you want?”

“I think it’s something that we both want.” He steps closer, voice sounding smooth and alluring. “You know what I’m talking about, right?”

You gulp, suddenly becoming nervous. He’s an arms reach away, and then closer, and closer until you can feel his cold fingers tracing against your cheekbone, lifting your face so his eyes are locked with yours. 

“I’m—” You can feel your breathing starts to stutter. “I’m not giving you my blood.”

“But it’s not blood that I want from you.” His eyes are half-lidded, his thumb tracing your lower lip. “I’ve been thinking about this so much lately.”

Your heart feels like a ticking bomb inside your chest. “A-about what?”

“About our rent. Do you want to move in together so we can split the rental fee?”

***

It’s both ridiculous and dumb, his offer to move in together for cheaper rent, so it’s even more ridiculous and dumb when you agree to it. There are several reasons that make sense, actually—at least, to you anyway: 1) your neighbor may be a vampire but he’s super hot and although that doesn’t make everything okay, it does make his offer sound incredibly tempting, 2) your landlord is going to raise the rent in the following two months, 3) your part-time job’s salary can only cover so much of your living cost and you have no savings whatsoever, 4) if you can ignore the fact that he brings random girls at night for midnight snacks, he becomes much, much hotter.

Of course, there are risks to think about as well. Sharing a place with another person can bring trouble, so you can only imagine how troublesome would it be to share your home with a vampire. What if he gets too thirsty and starts drinking from you instead? 

You gulp. The thought of it is actually kind of… sexy.

Mark. You mentally slap yourself in the head. You have a boyfriend. Stop crushing on your damn neighbor.

Well, there is nothing serious going on with Mark actually. You guys were just lab partners in high school, went on a couple of dates, had a terribly awkward first kiss, had a heavy make-out session with him ejaculating under one minute when you dry-humped him on the couch of your living room. 

So yeah, nothing serious.

“My apartment or yours?” You ask after a week has passed by, the second he opens his door for you. “Your apartment is bigger, but mine is cleaner.”

“Whatever you want, Sweetheart,” he smirks, leaning against the doorframe, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “I don’t mind as long we can split the fee.”

“Yeah, why is that? You’re running out of money?”

His smirk instantly falters. “Well, it’s not exactly easy for vampires to get a job these days.”

“You literally have superhuman skills.”

“Well, you guys have the technology!” He throws his hands in the air, absolutely disgusted with the word by the sight of it. “And the Internet! Sure, I can run pretty fast, I have super hearing, I can see in the dark but these fucking technologies can do literally everything I’m capable of—and everything I’m not capable of—with only a few clicks!”

“Do you need a hug?”

He’s still pouting but shrugs. “Can’t hurt.”

“There, there.” You give him a pat on his back as he leans down so you can reach his height. “I’ll teach you some basic stuff to get you updated.”

“Thanks.”

“You’ll get through this.” You pull away, squeezing his shoulders. “So, about moving in together. Shall we talk about house rules and stuff?”

“Sure, but before that,” he smiles, opening his door wider for you. “Come in. I don’t bite.”

It’s something about him using that poor choice of words with that teasing smirk on his face that makes your stomach feel uneasy but you nod and let yourself in. As he closes the door, he adds, “Unless it’s what you’re into.”

“Getting my blood drunk by a vampire?” You scoff, trying to steady your racing heart though he can probably tell already. “Why would it be something I’m into?”

“Well, my ladies surely enjoyed it,” he chuckles and you secretly think to yourself, yeah because you’re fucking hot, that’s why, but you keep yourself ignorant on the outside. “But if you’re ever curious,” he coos, eyes nearly glowing as he pushes his bangs back with one hand, “I’m down anytime you want.”

You shudder, but from disgust or excitement, you’re not sure. “Thanks, but no thanks. So, house rules?”

***

It turns out to be shockingly easy to share an apartment with an undead creature of the night. Your source of information regarding vampires are from the collection of your young adult supernatural novels, ranging from something serious like Interview with The Vampire, to something mediocre like The Vampire Diaries, and something absolutely ridiculous and downright outrageous like Twilight. So it’s not really surprising when your first assumption of vampires are dead people who look unusually pale but strikingly attractive, have constant frowns on their faces as they brood over literally everything that’s happening as if they’re constipated all the time (they’re not, since vampires don’t have that bodily function anymore) and kill people in their spare time by sucking their blood dry.

But Donghyuck isn’t like that at all, to the point you have to convince yourself that he’s a century-old vampire and not a brat going through puberty.

Because Donghyuck isn’t pale, his skin is tan as if he was kissed by the sun when he has been hiding from it his whole life. It’s smooth, unscarred, and almost golden under the fluorescent light of your apartment. 

He’s not heartless either. He cried during watching Hachiko even when the dog owner was still alive and well, shouting, “Bad shit is going to happen. Bad shit is going to happen to the dog—look how cute that dog is—look just how fucking cute he is—he doesn’t deserve any pain—if this dog dies by the end of the movie, I will combust,” to the screen. So the thought of him killing someone by sucking their blood dry? Seems very unlikely.

And he’s not broody or angry all the time. He’s extremely playful and annoyingly mischievous. He keeps his stock of blood in empty bottles of red wine and places them inside the fridge with a handwritten note that says: “It’s really just wine, Sweetheart. I bought some as a housewarming gift. Come take a sip.” You did, once, out of curiosity, and from that day on you promised yourself that you’d never ever trust his words for as long as you live.

Being a monster, he should’ve been the cause of fear, but in reality, he gets scared from a lot of things—even the things that shouldn’t scare a baby. You will never forget the day when a loud crash came thundering from his room, two seconds before he came barging into yours, screaming with wide eyes, “THERE’S A COCKROACH FLYING IN MY ROOM!”

“And what did you do?”

“I THREW THE TV AT IT BUT THAT FUCKING THING STILL LIVES!”

“WHAT?! But that’s our TV!”

“IT WAS FLYING TO MY FACE AND I PANICKED—WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!”

Even a butterfly that sneaks in from the window makes him jump on his feet. It was cute the first two times it happened, but seeing how he keeps on throwing random things—your phone, included—to keep the bugs away, you probably should start adding another house rule.

Speaking about rules, they’re pretty basic. It’s settled that you’ll both do your cleaning separately. No borrowing things without permission, no spending too much time in the bathroom because although he doesn’t need to go to the toilet, Donghyuck enjoys drawing himself a warm bubble bath for hours, as he takes a sip of his ‘red wine’. And you’re fine with him bringing girls over to your place as long as he does his midnight snacking in his own room. You were against it before but then you figure that you’re going to have Mark in your room from time-to-time (your date night is cheaper this way) so you really don’t have the right to forbid him.

But man, if only you could take back your words.

Because when Donghyuck said his ladies surely enjoyed it when he drank from them, you didn’t think that they would enjoy it this much. And you didn’t think that drinking blood from a human equals having sex with them all night long.

The sound of “Aah, yes fuck me just like that,” and “Bite me again, Lee Donghyuck, I want you to bite me as hard as you fuck me,” can be heard coming endlessly from his bedroom whenever he brings a girl—sometimes even two, for God’s sake—over. You have to plug your AirPods into your ears, blast the volume to the maximum until you can literally feel your ears going deaf while pulling a pillow over your head. And even then you still can hear them. Your apartment has excellent sound-proofed walls so your neighbors don’t really hear the loud screeches they’re making, but for you who sleeps in the room just across the living room? A living hell.

Fortunately, it doesn’t happen every day. It doesn’t happen every week, even, since he always keeps some stocks of blood in the fridge.

“Did you take this blood from those girls?” You grimaced one night, as you opened your refrigerator to slide in your pudding leftover and noticed three huge bottles of red wine completely filled up to the brim.

He laughed, waving a hand. “Of course not, stupid. How could I even do that in the first place? I bought some blood bags from the hospital, obviously.” He was sitting on the couch before but when he delivered his next line, he suddenly stood behind you, lips hovering dangerously close to your ear. “And just in case you’re wondering,” you could feel his smirk grazing your earlobe. “I only drink directly when I want to have sex.”

The heat was spreading almost immediately to your cheeks so you hid it by throwing a punch to his stomach, which he easily dodged. “Still,” you complained, “There’s blood in my fridge.”

“Hey, I never complain when you keep your celery juice in there.” He scrunched his nose in disgust. “I don’t eat or drink human foods, but who the fuck drinks celery juice?”

***

Donghyuck is also exceptionally talkative, you’ve learned along the way. It’s nice to have someone to fill the silence, moving from one random topic to another, never letting an awkward pause hang for too long. But he can also be exceptionally annoying when you have some papers to do and he’s bothering you because he’s bored out of his mind. He’ll start pestering you with questions—unimportant questions—like, “If you only have one eye, are you blinking or winking?” Or “Why is it that when you are sleeping it's called drool but when you are awake it's called spit?” And the stupidest of them all, “Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights? This question intrigues me.”

And you’ll eventually start to lose it, throw a pillow to his face and yell, “GET OUT OF MY ROOM!”

But by the end of the day, it’s really fun to have him around. Not just because you can secretly enjoy the sight of him coming out of your shared bathroom with only a towel hanging low around his hips, but also because he’s a vampire and you can spend your time doing actual research about it.

“So,” you began one day after the sun has set and he crawled out of his room with the biggest bird's nest on his head. You had a romance novel on your lap, your fingers running through the pages. “Are you like an actual vampire or are you the romanticized, somewhat gay vampire they usually depict in books?”

“Well, I’ve never been with a man but I don’t really oppose the idea.” He took a seat beside you on the couch, laying his feet on the coffee table. You kind of just stare at him, not exactly judging his words, just… bewildered. 

He noticed the look on your face. “When you’ve lived for a century, you gotta learn how to keep things interesting, even if that means having a dick in my mouth.”

“That’s…” You swallowed. “Not exactly something I want to imagine.”

“You should, though. Try picturing me with your boyfriend Mark for a sec. Don’t we look hot together?” You had to look away when he wiggled his eyebrows at you. You just had to.

“So, these vampire books you said you read,” he went back to the previous topic after cackling for a whole ten seconds at the flustered look on your face. “How do they depict us exactly?”

“You’ve never read one?”

“Have you ever read any books about humans written by vampires?”

“Fair point. Well, it said that vampires couldn’t see themselves in the mirror.”

“Myth,” he replied, leaning his head against the couch. “I can see myself in the mirror and I like seeing myself just as much as you do whenever I come out of the bathroom.”

You almost blurt out the cinnamon cookie you just ate. “Excuse me?!” You cough, eyes starting to get a little teary. “Who said I like looking at you?”

“You don’t?” The way his eyes twinkled made you a little bit weak. A smirk grew apparent on his face. “You sure about that?”

You cleared your throat, flipping another page of your book. “Next question,” you continued, ignoring the soft laugh he emitted. “Do garlic, holy water, and silver scare you?”

“They don’t scare me,” he clicked his tongue, vexed by the way you composed your words. “I just don’t like them.”

“Right, so that’s a yes. Do you have to be invited in to be able to enter someone’s home?”

He tightened his jaw, quietly murmured, “Yes.”

“Can you read someone’s thoughts?”

“No, but I can tell how they’re feeling through their heartbeat.” His eyes were boring into yours, lips curving upward. “Like you, for example. I can tell that whenever I’m around you, your heartbeat runs just a little bit faster.”

You glanced away, rubbing your nose. “No, it doesn’t.”

“Ah,” he showcased his perfect marbled teeth as he grinned knowingly. “Just like that. Your heartbeat is increasing again. Are you lying to me, milady?”

“You’re freaking annoying, you know that?”

“It’s part of my charm.”

“Speaking of that,” you immediately said, knowing it was the perfect chance to avert his attention to another topic. “Can you charm someone?”

“With these looks?” He gestured to his entire body. “Abso-fucking-lutely.”

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I.” But when you started scowling at him, he added, “But if you’re talking about mind compulsion, yes, I am able to do that. I can erase and alter people’s memories, even controlling them only by making eye contact.”

“That sounds pretty convenient.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t like doing it.” He shrugged, staring at the ceiling with droopy eyes. “Hypnotizing them to get what I want just doesn’t sit right with me. I want to feel a connection, you know?”

“So doing one night stands with vampire groupies is the perfect way to earn that connection, I suppose?”

He tilted his head, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue. “You really know how to attack someone’s pride, huh?”

“Part of my charm,” you mimic him with a nod. “Okay, next question. Can you die with a wooden stake piercing your heart?”

He rolled his eyes. “Everybody dies with a stake in—what is this, an interrogation?”

“Do churches—”

“Okay, Sweetheart.” He closed your book, smiling at you though it didn’t reach his eyes. “I think that’s enough. My turn.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, not really pleased with the way he just suddenly changed the direction of your conversation. “What do you want to know?” You indulged him anyway.

He tilted his head, propping his elbow on his thigh, fingers tapping against his cheek as he rested his chin on his palm. Gazing at you intensely, he asked, “Are you a virgin?”

It didn’t take even a split second for you to blush. “T-that’s—What kind of question is that—”

“Ah, so you are.” His smile grew a bit larger, but you weren’t sure whether he was amused, aroused, or just excited to mock you about it. “Is that why you’ve been staring at me a lot lately? Because you’re curious?”

“For the last time,” you emphasized, though your heart was hammering against your ribcages. “I wasn’t looking at you. I never—”

“You’re adorable when you lie,” he snickered, a lopsided smile painting his face. “Your heartbeat sounds like you just did a marathon. Are you okay?”

You threw your book at him, successfully wiping the smirk on his goddamn perfect face, and raced back to your own room.

“Ah, she’s really cute.” Was the last thing you heard him say before you slammed your bedroom door behind you.

***

For a vampire, Donghyuck’s presence is as bright as the sun, always managing to lift your mood whenever you’re too stressed about your college assignments or too exhausted from your part-time job. Of course, he’s also the cause of your stress more often than not, but whenever you get into a fight with him—usually because he’s so disorganized and you’re too obsessive to keep everything in order—it doesn’t last long and ends up with him making you the best dinner you’ve ever had to compensate, even when he’s not the one at fault.

Donghyuck doesn’t consume human food but he makes the best cuisine you’ve ever tasted in your life. And also the sight of him wearing your pink apron while humming to a Michael Jackson’s song with his bangs tied to the side using your hairclip is really, really something to behold—which is weird because that obviously doesn’t scream sexy in any way, or masculine even, but it makes your stomach do somersaults most delightfully.

“Dinner is served, Milady,” he says, laying down a plate of Spaghetti Aglio e Olio in front of you, making you gawk at the sight. “And it’s special because it contains a lot of garlic—seriously, like a lot. I had to put some gloves on and everything.”

“You’re an angel.” You nearly cry and it’s not an exaggeration. “I can’t believe you did this all for me.”

“Well, I haven’t really thanked you for covering my rent last month so…”

“It’s fine, you can pay me back later.” You take a hold of your fork, already wetting your lips in anticipation, and waste not a second longer before you dig in. When the cheese melts inside your mouth, you almost moan in joy. “Oh my God, this is so good. I love you.”

He chuckles, suddenly standing behind you, leaning forward so he’s next to your ear. “Yeah? How much?”

You raise your silver spoon in the air and he immediately leaps to the other side of the kitchen, startled and scared out of his mind. “Hey, that’s not nice! I thought we’ve talked about this!”

Rolling your eyes at him, you take another spoonful of it. “Man, you should really make a job out of this,” you comment. He only cooks whenever he feels sorry for you for going through a hard day—whether it was because of him or something else—but if that’s what it takes to have this magnificent dish entering your mouth, you don’t mind suffering more often.

“I really should, huh?” He takes a seat on the kitchen counter, his legs dangling a few inches in the air. “I’m really running low on money.”

“I thought vampires were supposed to be rich and like, noble.”

“You’re confusing us with Aristocrats.” He grieves. “Do you think I can get a night shift at a restaurant downtown?”

“Oh, I actually know a place. I’ll take you there tomorrow.”

“Like on a date?”

You almost drop your fork. “Why do you have to make everything weird?”

His cheeky grin is contagious but you’ve become a master of handling your expression. “I just like seeing you blush,” he confesses. “Have I told you how cute you are?”

“Today? Not yet,” you mutter as you munch on your food. “Yesterday? Approximately two hundred and thirty-five times.”

“Then I’ll try to break another record today.” He throws you a wink.

“Shut up and let me eat in peace, please.”

***

“Donghyuck-ah.”

“Yes, baby?”

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop posting a goddamn selfie every ten minutes!” You almost throw your phone to his face but since it’ll be a waste, you decide to throw your shoe instead. “I didn’t teach you how to use Instagram for this!”

Donghyuck easily dodges every single thing you’re throwing at him. “Didn’t you tell me to promote my cooking skill? That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

“How does this—” You show your phone’s screen to him, almost smacking him on the face with how fast and hard you’re doing it. You slide your thumb over his Instagram feeds, showing more than fifty different pictures of his close-up face and he just made that account two days ago. “—promote your cooking skill?!” 

“But, look,” he guides you, clasping his hand to yours so you’re both holding your phone. He taps from one picture to another. “This is me holding a spatula. This is me boiling water and this is me pouring barbecue sauce—”

“Oh my God.” You almost yank every hair out of your head—or out of his head. “I follow more than four hundred people and all I can see is your damn selfies!”

“Correction, my damn cute selfies.” He pecks your cheek. “You’re welcome, babe.”

But all jokes aside, it actually works. His adorable selfies—no matter how bad you hate to admit it—are attracting more followers each day that by the time a week has passed by, he has gained more followers than you (and you’ve had your account for three years, shame on you).

And on the following two months, he gets his first endorsement deal.

“I can’t believe this,” you say, gaping as you stare over his shoulder to look at his phone’s screen, shamelessly reading his direct messages. He’s getting an offer to become a brand ambassador for this little bakery with a cover photo of a lady with chubby cheeks baking cupcakes. “I can’t believe there are people crazy enough to hire you.”

“Hey, privacy!” He immediately stands up from the couch, covering his screen with his palm. “I could’ve been sending nudes!”

“You’re sending nudes?”

“Well, not my nudes.” He rolls his eyes.

“How is that any better?!”

“Look, I’m busy. I got a gig.” He grins proudly. “I’m on my way to becoming a celebrity, babe. Do you want my autograph now before it’s too late? I could sign your bra if you want. I mean, I’m totally down if you want me to sign your tits, but if you ever think that could be awkward—”

You smack his head with a spatula.

***

It’s your first date night after nearly half a year of not contacting Mark due to him going overseas for student exchange, and you’re nervous for various reasons.

First, you haven’t told Mark you’ve been sharing a place with a guy.

Second, you certainly haven’t told him that this guy is a vampire.

Third, you absolutely in any way cannot tell him that you’ve been secretly crushing on this guy while your boyfriend was away studying.

And last but not least, you know that if anything happens tonight, whether it ends up with you fighting with Mark or finally losing your virginity to him, Donghyuck can hear every single thing.

So you barge into his room, hand laying on the front of his bedroom door as you push it open. “Donghyuck-ah.”

Like always, he’s laying idly on his bed, head almost dangling on the edge of it with his phone in his hands. “Yes, baby?”

You sigh, rubbing your temple. “How many times should I tell you? Don’t call me that.”

“You’re not my baby anymore?” He fakes a loud gasp. “I am shocked.”

“Mark is coming over tonight.”

His movements stop abruptly. “I didn’t realize you were still with him.”

“Of course, I am. Why wouldn’t I be? He’s been nothing but sweet to me.”

His eyes lose the mischievous spark he usually displays in them. “And yet, you keep drooling over my body. Can’t say I’m not hurt.”

“I never—” You exhale loudly, throwing your head back. “I’m not going to have this argument again. He’s coming over tonight to have dinner—”

“But you’re a shitty cook.”

“By dinner, I mean take-outs,” you admit your defeat. “Anyway, I came here to ask you a favor.”

“Sweetheart,” he calls, turning over to his stomach so he can face you without having to see you upside down. “I know I said I wanted to make things interesting, but having a threesome with you and Mark? So suddenly like this? Don’t you think it’s gonna be a little awkward between us? I barely know the dude. You should at least tell me what kind of person he is, whether he likes action movies or romantic ones, whether he blames someone else when he farts—I need to know him before I have his dick in my mouth.”

Talking to him gives you headaches, you should’ve really come prepared. “Are you done?”

“Do you still want me to continue? Okay, well—”

“Shut up, please for the love of God, shut up.” You should take your leave before he starts yapping again. “Look, that super hearing thing you do? Can you turn it off just for one night?”

“Sure thing, click,” he says, snapping his fingers near his ear. “Done. Now I’m deaf.”

You flatly stare at him. “I’m serious.”

“Whaaaaat? I can’t heaaaaar youuuu.”

“Hyuck!” 

He groans loudly, rolling his eyes. “Well, it’s not like my ears have on-and-off buttons I can just switch, okay? What do you want from me?”

He’s right, there’s nothing you can do. “Then, can you leave the apartment for the night?”

He opens his mouth wide, hand going to his chest. “You’re kicking me out from my own apartment? This is heresy!”

“Donghyuck-ah, please!” Great, now you’re stomping your feet like a child. “I just really need some privacy for tonight.”

“Oh, you’re gonna get laid, aren’t you?” He raves mockingly, but his eyes are somewhat bitter. “Seriously? With that guy? I think you could do so much better, Sweetheart.”

Vexed, you jeer back, “Yeah? And who do you have in mind? You?”

You’re not sure whether it’s your words or the way you say them because his eyes suddenly turn darker, almost glowering at you but it only happens for a second or two so you’re not sure if you even see that clearly.

“Well, it’s not my business, is it?” He casually chirps, smiling at you again though something still feels off. “Don’t worry, I won’t eavesdrop on you two. I have a lot of kinks but voyeurism isn’t one of those. You won’t even notice I’m here.”

“You…” Something feels really off with the way he’s acting. It’s like he’s visibly upset but trying to act nonchalant about it. “You’re sure?”

“You have my words.”

“Okay then.” Whatever it is, you figure you can deal with that later. “Well, I’m gonna take a shower.”

As you shut the door behind you, uneasiness starts to fill your chest.

***

Your date with Mark is going well. It’s going so well, even, that you end up lying on your bed, perfectly naked,  lips swollen from his kisses, with him hovering on top of you, both breathless and speechless.

And unfortunately for you, also clueless.

He has a packet of condoms in his hand, and no matter how embarrassing it is for you, you already have your legs spread on the bed, waiting for him to… well, do whatever it is he’s supposed to do. Perhaps it’s okay for you to be clueless about sex because guys usually take the lead, right?

Wrong.

“Okay, wait, let me just—” Mark’s fingers are shaking due to anxiety. His poor, innocent mind cannot handle being so painfully turned-on and awkwardly embarrassed at the same time. Your boyfriend has always been awkward with literally everything, which kind of makes him adorable but it does not come as cute—not in the slightest—when he’s doing the exact opposite of what’s he’s supposed to do. Somewhere deep in his mind, he probably knows that he’s supposed to tear apart the packet sexily with his teeth,  put the condom on within seconds, and thrust into you as painlessly as possible. But in reality, what’s currently happening is he tries to catch the condom that flew out in the air after he managed to tear the packet apart with his shaky fingers. He then progresses to try putting on the condom for approximately fifteen minutes while flinching several times when he accidentally slaps the elastic band against his cock.

The whole thing is a fucking disaster (no pun intended) and all the passion, desire, and arousal that you once felt swirling in your stomach vanish in an instant. And when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, it does, because being a virgin himself, Mark doesn’t really know where to, for the lack of better words, put it in.

“Mark?”

“Y-yeah?”

“That’s my asshole.”

So with a reassuring (fake) smile, you lay a hand on his chest and gently push him backward, trying not to wince in chagrin when you suggest, “Maybe we should stop and try again some other time?”

You two dress back into your clothes in silence and after you escort him to your front door, Mark tries to kiss you at the same time you’re leaning in for a friendly hug so it ends up with him knocking his teeth against your forehead.

When he’s gone, you close the front door with a sigh, pressing your spine against the wooden surface as you soothe the pain on your temple away with your fingertips. It doesn’t take long before Donghyuck peeks his head from behind his door. Noticing you’re alone, he steps into the living room, leaning against the wall just a couple of meters away from where you’re standing. 

“So,” he begins, acting casual, “How was the date with—” He suddenly bursts out laughing, one hand holding his stomach as he nearly tumbles down to the floor, cackling like a mad man. “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have eavesdropped but man, did he really put it in the wrong hole? Oh God, this shit is just beyond me, man.”

With your shoulders slumped forward, you walk back into your room, trying to gather back the pieces of dignity you have left.

***

“You know what I should do?” Donghyuck asks with a game controller in his hand. To stop him from making fun of you and your terrible incident with your boyfriend, you’ve borrowed a PlayStation from your cousin. Even though he claimed that he despised technology, Donghyuck is actually brilliant when he puts his mind to it. It doesn’t take more than two hours for him to master the game, already adapting to every button of the controller, even manages to land a few high scores in the last ten minutes. He used to prefer to live in the old school way, but that soon changed after your influence.

“Pray to God for forgiveness so He won’t send you to hell?” You offer, as you take a seat next to him on the carpeted floor, crossing your legs, eyes staring idly at the screen. 

“Cute, but no.” He clicks some buttons aggressively, trying to reach yet another high score. “I should become a historian. I mean, I’ve seen things happened with my own eyes—the first world war, the second world war, the birth of Jesus.” He sneaks a glance, but seeing no reaction coming from you, he juts out his lower lip in disappointment. “It’s cruel that you don’t indulge me with my jokes these days.”

“Oh, so you want me to respond? I thought you just liked hearing yourself talk.”

“Heeeeeey,” he hisses, leering at you. “I know you’re hurt that your boyfriend tried to butt-fuck you but don’t throw this all on me.”

Oh my God. “Right, then let’s try this.” You have no choice but to please him this way before he destroys whatever is left of your pride. You do a quick search on your phone, throwing a random question from what you found in the article. “Who led our country in 1950?”

“Easy. The guy with the bald head. No, wait, is it the skinny one with the huge mole on his neck?”

“Name, Hyuck. I need a name.” You exhale in exasperation.

“Oh, I got it! The one with the annoying high-pitched voice!”

“How the hell am I supposed to know?”

“Well, how the hell am I supposed to remember shits that happened seventy years ago?”

You give him a look, eyes staring at him lifelessly. “You’re right, you should totally apply for the job. You’ll nail it.”

***

“I can’t believe this.”

“Saying that multiple times won’t really change anything, Sweetheart.”

“I can’t believe this,” you repeat, this time while standing up from the couch, slamming your fashion magazine down to the table. “I can’t believe our air conditioner broke when it’s nearly thirty degrees outside! Aren’t you hot?!”

“Am I hot—” He snorts, flipping a page of his novel.  Yes, it is actually quite bizarre that he spends his spare time reading. “What kind of question is that? Of course, I’m hot. Haven’t you seen the number of girls I brought into this place?”

“Ugh, God!” You plop back into your seat, throwing your head back in vexation. “What are you even reading?”

“That vampire book you talked about yesterday.”

“Which one?”

“The one that’s interesting.”

“Oh, Interview with The Vampire?”

“No.” The way he rolls his eyes as if he’s disgusted with your guess is beyond you. “Twilight.”

“Oh my God, stay away from me.”

“What—this is actually good!”

“These vampires sparkle under the sun—aren’t you, at the very least, offended? Because I’m livid and I’m human.”

“That’s what makes it interesting, actually,” he retorts, eyes moving back-and-forth as he reads through a passage. “They’re so different than us in real life, so it’s like seeing through a new perspective. I’m Team Jacob, by the way.”

“Good Lord.” You palm the side of your face. “You’re more than a hundred years-old but you have the taste of a teenage girl going through puberty. I’m ashamed of knowing you.”

“You’re just cranky because of the weather.”

“I’m literally dying.” You can feel sweat drenching your back, all the way to your shirt and you just took a shower twenty minutes ago. “You’re lucky you’re immune to temperature changes.”

“Then wanna sit on my lap?”

Your ears must be playing tricks on you. “Excuse me?”

Donghyuck sighs, closing his book and throws it away to the side. Turning to you, he repeats slowly, dragging out every syllable. “Do. you. want. to. sit. on. my. lap?”

You send him a blank stare, annoyed. “I heard you, asshole. I’m not an idiot. I’m just shocked at your offer. You’re really going all out in harassing me these days, aren’t you?”

“What—” He throws his hands in the air, exasperated. “I’m a vampire, remember? I have cold skin. Here,” he takes one of your hands, sliding it down his shirt as if it’s nothing, and presses it against his stomach. “Can you feel it?”

All the blood rushes to your face, making you feel lightheaded but also conscious of how his skin feels under your palm. It is cold, though not as cold as he’d made a big deal out of it. It’s like the room temperature during the spring season, at most. But compared to how sizzling it is right now, his skin is nice to the touch, relaxing even. 

But all that thought just goes straight out of the window when he shifts on his seat and you can feel his abs muscles contracting.

“Whoa,” he stops, looking at you. “Are you okay? Your heartbeat is insane.”

You smack him on the head and try to suffocate him with your cushion. It doesn’t work since he doesn’t breathe, but at least it can stop him from seeing how red your face is turning.

But when another day passes by and your landlord is still taking his sweet time trying to find a cheap handyman to repair your AC, you decide to take on his offer. You know it’s weird for roommates to cuddle but, as you try to reason within yourself, you will be sitting on the-sexiest-man-you’ve-ever-witnessed-with-your-eyes’ lap, your back pressing against his (hopefully) bare chest, and snuggle close until your body heat is no longer screaming at you in agony. You don’t really see any problem with this. After all, you have been imagining how it would feel to sit on his lap every time he does that manspreading thing on your couch. 

So really, what’s there to lose?

“Okay,” you begin, standing in front of him in an already awkward position. “So, how can we do this without being weird about it?”

Donghyuck tilts his face up, leaning his back against the couch, phone in his hand. “Do what?”

“Do…” You fiddle with the hem of your shirt. “You know, what you offered yesterday.”

“Hmm?” He raises his eyebrow in question, but the way one side of his lips is curving upward betrays his act. “I forgot. What exactly did I offer to do?”

“You’re seriously going to make me say this out loud?”

“Baby, I’m clueless.” His smirk grows wider, his voice filled with allure. “Please. Enlighten me.”

He’s toying with you, that’s for sure. And no matter how much you want to feel those arms around you, there’s no way you’re gonna let him degrade you like this. “Fine, then forget it,” you sulk, turning around on your heels with your scarlet cheeks puffed out but Donghyuck laughs in the most innocent way when he’s clearly nothing like that in reality. Calling your name in a sing-song voice, he circles his fingers around your wrist and tugs you back until you tumble down to his lap.

“You’re never honest,” he says, his velvety voice suddenly only a whisper away. His arms are tied securely around your waist, pulling you close until you can do nothing but lay your back against his chest. “But you’re cute so I forgive you.”

You can’t form a word, too busy trying to compose yourself. You can’t hear his heartbeat—since he’s the creature of the undead, obviously—but you assume with the proximity you’re being, you would’ve definitely heard it if he had one.

You didn’t notice it before but now that you’re sitting on his lap, your palm pressed against his thigh for stability you realize that he’s wearing black ripped jeans with holes that are oh so terribly distracting. If you dare to move your finger, you’ll be able to trace the smooth skin at the inner part of his thigh.

You gulp hard.

You can hear him snickering behind you. “Thinking about something dirty?”

You almost swallowed your own tongue. “What—no!” Flapping your hands in panic, you almost fall from his lap but his fast reflex won’t let you, as he embraces you tighter, making you fall back to his chest with a small oof.

“Relax, I’m just messing with you,” he chuckles lowly, his lips grazing against your earlobe. “This is nice. We should do this more often. You fit perfectly in my arms.” He says his line with sincerity with no trace of humor or teasing in it, which effectively make you curl your toes in bashfulness.

“You’re gonna have a heart attack if you keep your heart rate going like that, Sweetheart,” he titters.

“Yeah, well,” you try to push him away by pushing your palm against his cheek. “Unlike you, I don’t really spend my time snuggling with the opposite sex, so of course I’m nervous.”

“You’re sure it’s not because of me?”

“Absolutely. In fact, I’d most likely have a bigger reaction if Mark was the one holding me instead.”

The way he suddenly goes stiff intrigues you, but you don’t dwell on it. “Is that so?” He simply retorts back, tone suddenly becoming cold and it makes you feel uneasy.

“So, uhh…” Your breathing tatters when he becomes mute, only the sound of the ticking clock on the wall can be heard. “Wanna watch a movie?”

He only hums, placing his chin on top of your head. Since he’s always so talkative, it gets really tense when he’s quiet. “Did I offend you or something?” You question.

“I don’t know, did you?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I knew.”

“Then let’s just leave it at that.” Seeing how you keep fumbling with the remote in your hand, he snatches it away and proceeds to switch the channels. “We’re watching Twilight.”

“Nooooooo, not again!”

But his arm, as he raises it high in the air, is longer than yours so you can’t steal back the remote no matter how hard you try. And as you jump up and down, shifting back and forth on his lap, Donghyuck warns, “I don’t know if you’re doing this on purpose, but if you keep doing that, I’m gonna get a hard-on.”

You immediately stay still, hands tucked neatly on your lap, chest thundering. “You—Why—” You shake your head, flushed. “How can you say things like that?”

“Things like what?”

“Sexual things like that.” The more you reveal your thoughts, the harder you blush. “Don’t you have any shame?”

“What, I can’t be honest?” He snorts. “I didn’t mean to harass you or anything. Just letting you know in advance. It’s completely a guy thing.”

“No, it’s not just that. You always flirt with me—calling me baby, telling me how I look cute all the time when you don’t even mean it—“

You’re interrupted with a loud sigh accompanied by an impatient groan. “Turn around, look at me,” he orders and his tone is irrefutable. When you turn slightly, making eye contact, Donghyuck has his eyebrows furrowed, almost glaring at you. “I know you’re gullible, and I know you’re dense when it comes to things like this but I swear to God, if you don’t start taking a hint, I’m going to have to push you against the wall and kiss you to prove my point.”

You’re dizzy and nauseous, and your stomach is flipping like crazy and you’re conflicted between believing him or laughing at him because although he looks dead serious right now, you can’t help but wonder what if, after you give in to your feelings, he sends you that signature cheeky grin of his to reveal he’s just joking all along? You’re not even brave enough to imagine, even when the vivid image of him pushing you against the wall, his knee slipping between your legs while he brings your wrists over your head, holding them still with one hand is enough to keep you awake for hours.

So you decide to take the easy path. “Okay.”

He blinks. “Okay?”

“Okay.” You shrug, acting casual. It’s really a miracle that you don’t stutter when you deliver the next line. “You told me to take a hint, that’s what I’m doing.”

He raises one of his eyebrows, confused. “Just like that? You’re not gonna say anything more? Or do anything about it?”

“Nope.”

Slowly, there’s a shift in his expression. He shakes his head, tongue protruding against the inside of his cheek both irked and amused. “You’re really something.”

Surprisingly enough, he leaves it at that. Though it’s somehow uncomfortable, you follow his lead and just lock your eyes to your tv screen as he chooses his movie.

You have no interest in watching Twilight—absolutely nothing, zilch, zip, nada!—so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when your eyelids start to become heavy in the first thirteen minutes of the show. You would’ve fallen asleep way sooner though, if you weren’t too distracted with the way he laid his hand on your thigh, sometimes unconsciously rubbing or squeezing it with his palm when he got a little bit bored with the scene, making your breath hitched in your throat.

The room’s temperature is still hot even when it’s in the middle of the night, successfully making your bangs stick to your temple but Donghyuck is quietly humming something to himself. Soft, melodious sound is resonating from his chest directly to your ear and you begin to drift away, floating into your dreamland.

***

“Hey, wake up. It’s almost morning.”

Your bleary eyes are greeted with the dim light of the room. The TV in front of you has already been switched off so the only thing that can be heard in your apartment is the buzzing sound coming from your fridge and the faint ticking clock. 

“What time is it?” You rub your eyes, not aware that you’re still sitting on his lap, with your spine leaning against his chest. It’s until you feel his arms loosening around your waist that you begin to think, oh fuck, what have I done?

You immediately jump off his lap, tripping over your feet but manage to hold your balance by placing a hand on the coffee table. “Why didn’t you wake me?” You screech, face aflame. “You kept holding me in that position all night?”

“Yeah.” He stretches his arms above his head, cracking his neck. “I wanted to wait until you wake up by yourself, but you know, the sun is about to rise.”

You’re still pretty much flabbergasted by the whole thing. “You really should’ve woken me up.”

“Well, you seemed like you were having the best sleep you’ve ever had.” He stares at you with a twinkle in his eyes. “Was it that good being in my arms?”

You’re about to explode. “Okay, wow, look what time it is.” You try to look at your wrist and mentally slap yourself harder when you realize you’re not wearing a goddamn watch. “A-anyway, you really should go back to your room before it’s too late.”

He shakes his head, chuckling at your stupid antics as he stands up from the couch. He ruffles your hair once, making a mess out of your strands before he heads back to his room. As he slides open his door, he spares you a glance over his shoulder. “Hey.”

“What?”

“You kept calling my name in your sleep. What were you dreaming about?”

Whether it’s true or he’s just flirting with you to get your reaction, you don’t want to know. “Just go to your room!”

***

A few moments after the sun sinks below the horizon, Donghyuck comes out from his room with bleary eyes and his shoulders slumped forward. 

“Good morning, Princess,” you joke, your hands busy mixing coffee powder, sugar, and milk to make your own version of Dalgona coffee. Donghyuck scratches the back of his head, his eyes are barely open as he heads to the kitchen, not even sparing you a glance. When he opens the fridge, he groans loudly, noticing that he forgot to restock his red wine. He slams the door with a loud huff, drags his body to the dining table, and sits down with his cheek pressed against the table. Seeing how you’re not paying him any attention, he groans again, louder and whinier this time.

“Okay, what?” You ask, leaning your back against the counter, a cup of coffee in your hand.

“I’m thirsty,” he grumbles, jutting out his lower lip.

“Then drink.”

“I don’t have any money to buy even a bag of blood. Why do they have to make it so fucking expensive?” He pouts. “I mean, I can always steal one but I’m scared of being caught.”

“Scared of being caught? You, with your superhuman speed and strength?”

“Well, they have those security cameras installed all over the place! I don’t want to get arrested or worse, go viral!” You resist the temptation to roll your eyes at his nonsense. “These fucking technologies, man, I swear to God, they’ll be the death of me someday.”

“Then just go outside. Our town is filled with walking blood bags.”

He groans again, now pressing his forehead against the table. “Man, the effort I have to make just to survive. I’m so done with drinking blood from slutty girls. They’re bitter.” He sticks out his tongue at the memory.

“Yeah, why is that? Why do you only drink from them?”

“Because they’re the only ones who’ll agree in a heartbeat.” His voice is muffled as his lips are brushing against the surface. “Also the sex isn’t too bad if you can ignore how annoyingly loud they are.”

“Trust me, I’ve tried.” You grimace at the flashback. It really has been a while since he brought one of them back to his room and you were ecstatic about it, knowing you were the only girl he had been giving his attention to. “Why don’t you just compel someone to give their blood? You can erase their memories too after you’re done.”

“I’ve told you, I don’t like doing that. It makes me feel like a monster.”

It’s cute, you suppose, the way he tries his best to defy his nature. “Then…” You tap your fingers against the mug, somehow feeling uneasy. “Why don’t you try being in a relationship with someone? I’m sure they’ll be willing to give you their blood if they like you that way.”

“Yeah? With who?”

“I don’t know, like…” Your cheeks grow hot, bringing your face down to hide your eyes behind your bangs. “Maybe just someone you like.”

“Are you volunteering?”

The way he suddenly has you backed against the counter, trapping you inside his arms, and whispers seductively with his lips almost grazing your own make you jump on your feet, your cup slipping off your fingers, crashing to pieces when it hits the marbled floor.

“Careful!” Donghyuck holds you by the waist, stopping you just a split second away from stepping on the broken glasses. You realize your hands are fisting against the back of his shirt, embracing him for support without knowing. You pull away immediately, clearing your throat.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to surprise you,” he says, letting you go. “I mean I did, but not like this.”

You sigh. “It’s okay, just step away. I need to clean this up.” He tries to help but you won’t let him, because having him in such proximity is going to blind your senses, unable to function properly. Even just thinking about the way his strong arm fits the curve of your waist already makes you lose focus that you end up cutting your finger with a shard of glass.

He catches the little surprised yelp that escapes your lips and immediately bends down to check on you. “See, this is why I told you to let me clean up instead,” he complains, carrying you to the sink and drenches your finger with running water. “Let me see.” With a hold around your wrist, you can barely do anything but to let him examine your cut thoroughly. “Well, it’s not deep but it’s… still…” 

Noticing how he trails off, you look up to check on his face seeing how his eyes are now glowing a bit brighter, his lips parted as if in awe from the way droplets of blood seep from your fingertip, trickling all the way down to your palm.

“Hyuck…?”

His eyes are drifting back and forth from your face to your cut and you know where this is going but when he brings your palm closer to his lips, his tongue darting out to lick the blood off your skin, you nearly collapse to the floor. 

“Hyuck—” You hiss, cheeks reddening as you try to retract your hand but his hold is firm on your wrist. He licks his way up before he brings your fingertip inside his mouth. Donghyuck has his eyes closed, a moan almost falls from his lip when the coppery taste taints his tongue. He sucks on the wound, wanting to taste more, to rip your skin apart with his teeth and—

“Hyuck!” 

He blinks awake, shocked when he sees your face painted with fear. His fangs are drawn out but he immediately retracts them back before you get a detailed look, his face flushed as he takes a step back.

“S-sorry—” He looks away, rubbing his nape with shaky fingers. “I didn’t mean—shit I really have to go—I have to drink—” and when you blink your eyes, he’s vanished from your sight.

With your heart thundering inside your ribcages, you lean back against the kitchen counter again, your legs trembling under you.

That was close. So fucking close.

There’s a fear growing inside you but it’s not from the memory of him with his fangs extended like the true monster that he was. You’re not scared of him, you’re scared of yourself because you know you want him, you want him in any way possible. You want him to belong to you, to be with you, to be desperate for your touch, your blood, your presence, your everything, just as much as you are about him.

You bury your face in your palms. I am so fucked.

***

Hours turn into days and days turn into months, and before you know it, it has been a year since he moved into your apartment. The friendship that blooms between you feels nice and you want to keep it that way but it’s getting hard when he keeps on bringing random girls in skimpy dresses back to his room. You used to be furious by how loud they were being, but now you’re pretty much angry just simply by imagining him being with someone else. And it doesn’t even have to be sexual—just picturing him bonding with another person, even when it’s not as strong as what you two have, manages to irk you so much.

The thoughts of him keep revolving in your head no matter how hard you try to push them away. It even puts your relationship with Mark in jeopardy, as you can barely pay him any attention. It doesn’t surprise you at all when he decides to break things off, saying something cliche like, “I think we’re better off as friends,” and “It’s not you, it’s me,” which in normal circumstances will piss the hell out of you but when that happens, you simply just reply, “You’re right. Let’s be friends.” And there are no hard feelings—no feelings at all, even, which is weird considering you were only a month away from having your first anniversary with him.

Now that Mark is out of the picture, you can finally bring all of your attention back to Donghyuck. But the more you think about it, the more you’re not sure about the whole thing. He’s a vampire, isn’t he? What future do you expect to have with him? Let’s say you date him and things go well with your relationship, and then what? He’s going to stay young with that cute, boyish look on his face and you’re gonna be all wrinkled and gross, how are you ever going to be able to stand that? What if he wants someone prettier than you? What if he gets bored?

Or maybe it’s just lust you’re feeling. You don’t love him, you’re just physically attracted to him. That’s right. Strictly physical.

And yet, as you see him dressed up in a white buttoned-up shirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, running a hand through his hair and pushing back his bangs to showcase his temple, you thought: fuck.

And when he smiles at you, as he places a plate filled with the exact dish he knows you love down to the dining table, saying, “I went ahead and did some research about you. I was about to buy you some presents but I thought it would feel more personal if I cooked something for you so,” and stopping to gaze at you with tender eyes before he adds, “Happy birthday, Sweetheart.” You thought: Jesus fucking Christ, just marry me already.

Donghyuck goes all the way with everything, from placing scented candles on the table, playing soft music in the background, even escorting you to your seat, pulling your chair back for you, and placing down a napkin on your lap. It’s too much for your poor brain to comprehend, and your chest is suffocating from all the feelings swirling behind it and Donghyuck looks so beautiful—almost goddamn ethereal even—in that shirt, in that hairstyle, in the dim light of the room.

“You’re not hungry?” He asks when a few seconds have passed by and you haven’t munched at your food like a caveman—because that’s what you usually do. 

“I’m—you—” You splutter, taking a deep breath to calm your nerves before you try again. “You look nice.”

You can already tell that he’s about to say something along the line of “But baby, I always look nice.” So when he just softly smiles back and thanks you about it, telling how you look just as nice when you know you look like a storm just hit you, you’re pretty much lost for words.

“You seem exhausted,” he comments, frowning in concern. “Hard day at work?”

You can’t trust yourself that you won’t start rambling nonsense again while answering his question so you decide to just reply to him with a timid nod.

“Why are you so nervous?” He laughs, eyes turning crescents. “Your heartbeat is going through the roof again.”

You loathe yourself for being so transparent. “I’m nervous because you’re suddenly being so nice. I can’t help but think you have a hidden agenda or something.” That’s a lie. A complete lie.

And you’re sure he knows it. “And what if I do?” He asks, raising an eyebrow seductively. “What kind of a hidden agenda do you think I have for you?”

Why is it so fucking hot in here?! “I don’t know…” You start fiddling with the fingers you have on your lap. “Drinking my blood, maybe?”

His expression is a mystery to you, even when his smirk seems familiar. “And would you be okay if that’s true?”

You can’t answer but fortunately for you, Donghyuck lets out a chuckle, telling you he was making a lame joke. You force yourself to laugh but it sounds like a wheeze so you stop before it gets even more humiliating.

Donghyuck walks to your side with a bottle of wine in his hands, sliding glass to your side as he says, “Wine, milady? It’s not blood, I swear.” And you believe him because this time, the liquid seems more ruby than crimson.

“You really need to relax,” he comments as he leans his back against the edge of the table, raising the glass of his usual red wine in the air before he clanks it gently against yours. “To the cutest, sweetest roommate in the world.”

You immediately take a sip to hide the blush that creeps up your face, flinching when the burning, mildly bitter flavor hits your tongue. You’ve never drunk any alcohol in your life and although this first experience feels rather unpleasant, you keep chugging more of it down your system. 

“Does it taste good?” He asks, secretly smiling to himself as he witnesses how fast you’re drinking the whole glass down. You shake your head in response, which earns another laugh from him.

You’re not sure whether it’s because it’s your first time drinking alcohol or you just have a low tolerance when it comes to it, but you can feel yourself getting both lightheaded and drowsy. Donghyuck who takes notice of that, move you to the couch so you can rest more comfortably. “I better take this away,” he says, circling his lean fingers around your wine glass but you push him away.

“No,” you say, eyes a little bit unfocused. “I’m fine. Pour me some more.”

“Don’t you think it’s enough?”

“Just another glass, Hyuck, don’t be a bitch about it.”

He’s taken aback but collects his composure within seconds. “All right, just don’t blame me for it,” he states as he pours you another one.

“I have a question for you, Lee Donghyuck,” you coo as he takes a seat on the coffee table, facing you. “Does everyone’s blood taste the same to you?”

“It differs, actually,” he answers, taking a sip of his own drink. “But only faintly. I’m not that picky about it.”

“And how does it feel having your blood sucked by a vampire?”

“You’re asking the wrong guy.” He sways his head from side-to-side in amusement. “I mean, of course, I can have my blood drunk by another vampire but I’m not that kinky. I know some vampires who are into that kind of shit though.”

“Well, by the sound of your girls screaming like they were giving birth, it’s either very painful or very…” The sight of him staring at you intently, taking in your features, nearly throws you off tracks. “Pleasurable.”

There’s an awkward pause and silence hangs around to fill the space before Donghyuck speaks again. “How come you’re asking me these questions?”

“Because that’s all I’ve been thinking about,” you confess, not sure why, but you’re feeling very brave at the moment. “And it’s not just about you drinking my blood, but more about you entirely. You know what I mean?”

Donghyuck places his glass down on the table, leaning towards you. “Not sure, but I’m all ears.”

“I… just…” It’s getting harder to speak when he’s so close, you can start locating every tiny mole he has on his face and his neck. The small one near his Adam’s apple is the one that distracts you the most. “I just think we’re compatible with each other, you know? And I’ve never enjoyed someone’s company this much before. You’re funny, you’re smart, and you’re both endearing and freaking annoying at the same time—how is that possible?”

But Donghyuck isn’t laughing. His eyes are deep and dark, raking over your profiles with so much intensity but when he swats the bangs out of your eyes, his touch is tender. “What else? Tell me more.”

You lean closer to his touch like how a kitten would, making him gulp slightly at the sight. “I get so vexed whenever you spend your time with anyone else. I know I have no right to be jealous since we’re just friends but I can’t help it.” You sigh, rubbing the side of your face with your palm. “It’s so fucking tiring to think about you this much when I can’t have you.”

You’re too lost in your own thoughts that when Donghyuck reaches out a hand to touch your face, you jump in surprise, spilling wine all over your blouse. “Shit, this is my favorite shirt,” you whine, sliding your glass down to the table. “Can you get me some tissues?”

But what he does is lifting your body with both of his arms and carry you to the bathroom. You cling onto him with a yelp, trying to keep yourself away from falling even though you’re sure he’s perfectly able to hold your weight.

Donghyuck places you down on the bathroom counter, your fingers dangling at the edge of your sink. Sitting up straight, you begin to feel conscious of your surroundings. “What are you doing?”

“It’s your favorite shirt, right? We need to wash the stain before it sticks,” He explains, his fingers going to your collar. You nearly stop breathing when he asks for permission to undress you, “May I?”

You swallow hard before you weakly nod.

He takes time unbuttoning your shirt one by one when you know he can rip it apart easily with one finger. He’s so gentle, his touches are paper-thin but whenever his icy fingertips make slight contact with your skin, it sends electricity to every inch of your body. 

When he manages to untangle the clothing from your body, you’re only left in your bra and your black satin lace cami top. You can tell he tries to be polite by not staring at what you’re wearing, and instead immediately drags your blouse to the sink, drenching it with water.

“Where did you place the detergent again?” He asks, reaching up over your head to check on the top cabinet and he’s so fucking close that you can see the movement of his Adam’s apple as he speaks. And it’s really, really tempting to just lean over and—

Donghyuck flinches when he feels you sinking your face in the crook of his neck, mapping your lips on his skin, breathing in his scent. You don’t know how vampires usually smell like but Donghyuck reminds you of summer even when you’re not sure how summer smells like. It’s funny how you’re not making sense, even in your own thoughts.

Pushing you away by the shoulders, Donghyuck’s eyes gleam in the way you’ve never seen before. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I…” You can’t form a word—you can’t even form a thought as you’re too busy staring at his lips, how smooth they look, how thrilling they must feel against your own. And maybe he’s thinking the same thing about yours because when you lean in for a taste, he meets you halfway.

It’s warm and it doesn’t make any sense, because the rest of his body is icy cold but as you press your mouth against his, all you can think about is how his lips are warm and soft, so fucking soft and delightful and maybe it’s just your mind playing tricks on you but you don’t care.

You breathe heavily through your nose, yanking at the collar of his shirt so he’s closer to you than he’s ever been, and you tilt your head slightly, angling your face so you can meld your lips deeper against his. He instinctively reacts by holding the side of your face, fingers slipping between your strands, tips curling around your nape.

He kisses better than any man you’ve ever been with and you’re sure he’s better than any man you’ll ever date in the future because Donghyuck knows what he’s doing, even when he’s caught by surprise. 

Sliding your hand up to his chest, you can tell how his skin stands in contrast to the warmth of his mouth and it makes you shiver, your breathing rags, and you moan into his mouth, tracing your tongue along the puncture of his fang that’s still retracted, almost as normal as a human’s but something inside you tells you it’s not going to stay that long if you continue doing this.

So anticipation builds inside you because there’s absolutely no way you’re going to stop what you’re doing.

But Donghyuck is surprisingly more chivalrous than he looks. He pulls away, giving you a few inches of space to break the attraction. It’s not enough, your mind is still heavily clouded by the thoughts of him, so you reach up to kiss him again, catching his lower lip between yours.

“No, wait,” he says, voice sounding breathy though he doesn’t breathe. He circles his fingers around your wrists, holding them down against the counter so you won’t be able to move. 

“Let me just kiss you,” you plead, eyes dazed and desperate. “Please.”

His chuckles are soft, almost inaudible. “You’re drunk.”

“I’m not, I swear.” It’s horribly embarrassing how you’re itching for his touch as if losing physical contact with him causes you madness. “Hold up your fingers and ask me to count them. I’ll guess it right, trust me, so can you just—” You try to move your hand to pull him close but his grip around your wrist is stronger than your strength. “Hyuck—”

“Look, I want this just as much as you do—” He hisses when you’re using your knee this time, sliding it between his legs, giving him the friction that he needs. “Fuck. I probably want this more than you do, but—” He loses control for a split second, re-attaching his mouth to yours with so much fervor, tongues desperate to taste one another. The way you whimper against him makes him groan, his hand sliding down your thigh and spreading your legs apart so he can fit himself between them.

It’s when his fangs suddenly puncture your lips, drawing a hint of blood and making you cry out in surprise that he wakes up from his reverie, pushing himself away immediately to the other side of the room. You almost topple forward from suddenly losing him to lean on but manage to keep your balance by gripping at the edge of the counter.

Donghyuck turns around, facing the bathroom tiles as he leans one hand against the wall while his other one covers his mouth.

“Hyuck—”

“Sorry, let me just—“ His shoulders are shaking, trying his best to calm himself and the thirst that overwhelmed him earlier. “They’ll go back in a minute.”

“No.” You jump down from the counter, moving to his spot with careful steps. “Let me see them.”

He shakes his head, still not turning around to face you.

“I want to see them, Hyuck.” You place your hand on his shoulder, caressing him gently until he finally submits to your touch. 

You only ever saw him with his fangs retracted twice in your life but even then, it was always too dark and too fast for you to see him properly. Now, you can take your time.

He’s so fascinating.

His eyes, as they peer into you in concern and uncertainty that he might hurt you, are glowing brightly in the color of topaz and they’re strikingly beautiful that you can barely look at anywhere else. His fangs are larger but he can still hide them behind his lips if needed. It’s the way they become frighteningly sharp that sends a shiver down your spine but you brave yourself enough to reach out to him.

“C-can I touch…?” You hesitantly ask, and he looks conflicted by the question but soon gives you a timid nod. He parts his mouth slightly so you can trace your fingertip along his cuspid, and you flinch as it feels like a knife splitting your skin. 

He hastily pulls back, terrified at the thought of hurting you. “You’re okay?”

“Do it with me.”

“What?”

You take a deep breath, your heartbeat going crazy. “I want you to drink from me.”

“You’re crazy—”

“Please.” You lay a hand on his chest, tilting your head to the side, exposing your neck to his eyes. “Just try, Hyuck…”

The glimmer in his eyes shows that he’s yearning to fulfill your wish but he cups your cheek again, telling you, “You’re gonna regret this in the morning.”

“I won’t.” Your fingers find a home in his waves. “I’ve been wanting this for a long time so—”

A high-pitched yelp escapes your lips and you have to muffle the rest of your scream by mouthing against the fabric that covers his shoulder because Donghyuck doesn’t waste any second after he heard your confession. His canines are prickling against the skin under your jaw, just between the earlobe and the collarbone. And it hurts when he sinks them—so, so badly—that tears begin to form almost instantly behind your closed lids. Donghyuck suddenly lets you go, his eyes widening as he gazes at the way blood is gushing through his bite mark. “Fuck,” he says, “How can you taste so—” and he dives in again, moaning rather loudly when the warmth of your blood fills his mouth, swallowing a big gulp each time. “So fucking good,” he murmurs in pleasure, tightening his hold desperately around your waist as if you’re the thread that keeps him alive.

The pain only stays for a few seconds before a rush of endorphin seeps into your skin, running through your veins and pumping euphoria to every inch of your body. You slowly relax against his chest, eyes becoming half-lidded as you go into a trance, heartbeat slowing. You’ve never done any methamphetamine in your life but you imagine that it must feel somewhat like this. 

“Hyuck…” You breathe out, feeling a little bit lightheaded, the strap of your camisole falling off your shoulder. You can feel your knees slowly giving out under your weight. “I… I can’t stand…”

He yanks himself away for a second, only to lift you so you can wrap your legs around his waist, your arms around his neck. He carries you back to the counter, placing you down in the same spot as before, your legs dangling in the air.

“Better?” He asks, rubbing comforting circles with his thumb along your cheekbone. You nod, eyes going down to focus on his fangs again. His lips are painted with your blood, with some of it trickling down his chin. He’s a monster and he definitely looks like one, but his eyes are tender and his hands are silky smooth on your skin.

He slides his hand down to the hem of your camisole, fingers rubbing against the fabric as he peppers soft kisses along your jawline. “Is this one your favorite too?”

“Huh?” You’re having the hardest time trying to focus. “Oh… No, not really.”

“Well, then,” his lips are still sucking bruises on your neck when he rips both of your camisole and your bra with one flick of his hand, exposing your bare chest to the air, making you jump in surprise.

“Hyuck—” You’re silenced with another kiss, and it’s so consuming, so deep, so wild that you nearly sob against his mouth. The taste of copper makes you frown in discomfort but the knot starts to loosen when his tongue darts out to meet you in a messy kiss.

His hand is going down to your breast, cupping the side while he runs his thumb along your sensitive bud, making you rake your nails against his back in response. His other hand is tracing the curve of your waist, going down to your hips before he tears your skirt away, tossing the clothing somewhere across the room, following your previous ones.

“Tell me if you want to stop,” he says, hooking his hands at the back of your knees before he pulls your legs forward, pressing his hardness against the wetness of your lingerie. You whine, circling your legs around his waist for stability, and murmurs, “No, don’t stop, please,” against his ear.

It’s not fair that he’s still fully clothed so you frantically toy with the buttons of his shirt, pushing the fabric off his shoulders with so much eagerness before you roam your lips to every inch of his exposed skin. 

Donghyuck licks along the wound of his previous bite, emitting a sinful moan from the back of his throat when your blood sparks ecstasy in his mouth. His fingers are tentatively rubbing you over your lingerie and you beg with your lips muffled by the skin of his chest, “Take it off, just take it off, please—“

You can feel a tiny laugh reverberating from his chest over your desperation but you don’t care. You really are that desperate.

Donghyuck is more than willing to comply, sliding the lingerie down your thighs and you help him push it off your legs completely. You guide his palm to your heat, his fingers immediately sliding between your folds, the heel of his hand pressing against your clit. His mouth finds his way down the valley of your breasts and goes lower and lower until he has his head between your thighs.

You nibble at your lip in anticipation when he presses open-mouthed kisses on the inner part of your thigh. Donghyuck makes sure he has his eyes fixed on yours when he dips his fangs into your supple skin, making you quiver with the sensation.

“God, Hyuck.” You’re going insane, you can feel it. “I want you. I want you in me. I want you all over me.”

And he probably is too because he’s abandoning all of his self-control at once. The way he sucks bruises on your skin, lapping at the trail of blood that painted your body is almost animalistic, raw passion mixed with lust and uncontrollable desire. He unbuckles his belt in hurry, pushing his jeans and boxers down just low enough to release himself from its confines. You can feel his tip grazing against your clit before he glides his length down your folds, pulling you by the legs so you’re almost laying down on the counter, half of your back pressed against the mirror behind you.

His eyes are hooded but they speak reassurance when they bore into yours. “I’ll be gentle.”

Now that it finally sinks you’re going to do this for the first time, your lustful desire gradually changes into jitters. You nod, permitting him to proceed. 

The feeling of him stretching you little by little is absolutely painful and he can tell that too, hissing, “Fuck, you’re so tight,” as his eyebrows adjoin in the middle. You can barely stand the pain and you’re about to stop him by reaching out a hand, but he grabs your wrist and sinks his teeth to your skin.

Another jolt of pain sends tremors all over your body but just like before, another rush of endorphin hits you like a wave, gradually reducing your pain until you’re in haze again, blissful even, but also even more aroused than before, hungry for his touch.

“You’re okay?” He asks, licking the blood that trails down your arm. “Are you still in pain?”

You’re breathing hard but you can feel your heartbeat slowing. “Stop talking and fuck me already.”

His glowing eyes are gazing down at you with desire, intense with lust. He runs his tongue along his lower lip once, smirking as he says, “Yes, Ma’am.”

Even when he said he was going to be gentle with you, he’s doing the exact opposite. Or maybe he is going gentle, which only makes you wonder how wild can he be when he’s not holding back. The thought of him losing control of his mind as he pounds into you senselessly makes you shudder, tightening yourself around his length unconciously.

“My God.” The feeling of your heat enveloping him—squeezing around him—makes him drop his temple on your shoulder, dissolving him into a groaning mess. “You are driving me insane, do you know that?”

“Don’t hold back,” you hold his face, caressing his sharp jawline with trembling fingers. “Just do what you want.”

“But I’ll break you.” Although his eyes seem like he’s about to grant your wish.

 You let your tongue slide up from his chin to his lower lip, stopping just to whisper, “Then break me apart, I don’t care,” before you crush his mouth with yours again.

Donghyuck’s thrust is both deep and hard, knocking your breath with each pound as he holds you by your hips, nails clawing into the skin. Maybe it’s the trace of endorphin left in your body that heightened all your senses while at the same time washing all your pain away because everything feels so unbelievably good. His touches, his kisses, his thrusts, and the way he moves his hips faster and faster until you can’t properly breathe—everything feels amazing. 

And his voice—God, his voice—the way he moans and grunts against your ear, or when he sprouts expletives while he buries his face deep in the crook of your neck, lips scorching against your skin, makes you think fuck why did I waste a fucking year doing nothing when I can have him like—

You’re interrupted from finishing your thought when Donghyuck suddenly pulls out of you, making you whimper from the loss, and turns you around, forcing you to land on your feet again, your stomach pressed against the edge of the counter. You place both hands on the marbled surface as he pulls your hips closer to him, pressing his hardness against your behind as he presses his chest to your spine.

“Come here, look,” he says, holding you by the chin and lifts your face so you can gaze directly into the mirror. He shifts his hand, now holding back your bangs so your eyes are reflected perfectly. “Look how beautiful you are,” he purrs near your ear, the tip of his nose brushing against your jawline.

It’s both embarrassing and arousing to see yourself being held domineeringly by him, the curves of your body fit his perfectly even from behind. Your lips are bruised and swollen, blood smears messily around your neck, your wrist, your thigh even on your hips from the way he trailed his coated fingers along the skin. 

Donghyuck raises two of his blood-smeared fingers to your lips, mixing your lipstick with your own blood before he slowly drags his fingers away, painting blurred lines of crimson to your cheek. He sighs at the sight, eyes half-lidded as they glow brighter. “If I’m a monster,” he says, voice low and breathy, “Then you’re a fucking goddess.”

You shudder and avert your gaze, ashamed of how sultry you look in the mirror and how sinful his gaze is as they rake over your body. He presses close, completing the dip of your spine with his chest like a matching puzzle. His fingers curl around the front of your neck, forcing you to look at your reflection once more as he licks a stripe up your wound. “We look good together, don’t you think?”

You’re breathing hard, chest heaving up and down with each breath. “Hyuck…” You crave for him to fill you again like before. “Please, just—"

He glides his hand down between your legs, teasing you with small touches but strong and fast enough to make you quiver. “So sensitive too,” he chuckles, nipping slightly at your earlobe. “You’re so fucking cute.”

Before you can retort anything back, he pushes the head of his cock into your heat again, agonizingly slowly at first but slams the rest of it with one snap of his hips.

“I’ve thought about this—about us—I think about you a lot,” he confesses, with low groans interrupting his lines. “You’re really driving me insane with that face of yours, your lips, your voice—whenever you call my name, whenever you pout after losing an argument—the way you secretly stare at me wherever I go—”

“I don’t—” You gasp, thighs trembling under your weight and he wraps an arm along your stomach, holding you still while he pushes in deeper. “I never—”

“And the way you lie just like now, with that blush creeping on your face.” He chuckles, kissing the middle of your shoulder blades. “Fuck, you’re so cute—so fucking cute that it pisses me off whenever you talk about Mark when we both know he can’t satisfy you the way I do—he doesn’t understand you— doesn’t get your stupid jokes—” He begins to fall out of rhythm, hips moving faster with each thrust. “He doesn’t deserve you—I deserve you.”

You catch the sight of your reflection, noticing how he sometimes throws his head back in pleasure, his strong hands gripping on the sides of your waist as he rolls his hips again and again, thrusting into you until you can only cry out his name and nothing more. It’s too obscene, too erotic for your eyes to witness, and when he locks his gaze with yours in the mirror, you nearly faint.

“H-Hyuck—” You reach out a hand back, trying to find his for support but he holds your wrist against your spine, pumping into you with strong strokes, leaving you with no options other than pressing the side of your face against the marble countertop, mouth parting in a silent scream.

The sounds of his groans and your whimpers echo through the bathroom walls, along with the sound of your skin meeting his. His teeth prickling against your shoulder, his eyes going to see how you look underneath him in the mirror before he sinks his fangs deep into you, making various sounds of pleasure as he drinks your blood.

The sensation of his thrust, his fingers slightly choking you as he holds you by your neck, and the amount of endorphin that washes over you soon drives you to your release and he embraces you closer, feeling every shake that you emit directly with his body. And maybe it’s from the loss of blood or everything else combined, but your vision starts to blur and suddenly your world turns black.

***

When you wake up, you’re laying on your bed, staring at the ceiling you’ve seen a million times with your eyes barely open. You’re still pretty much in a haze, not sure if you’re still floating inside your dream or back in reality. It’s until your door opens with a click that you can start to differentiate.

“Ah, you’re awake.” He peeks inside through the door holding your favorite mug, already dressed back in his favorite black tee and matching jeans. “I was wondering when you’d wake up. Can I come in?”

He walks in without needing an answer and, weirdly, he doesn’t seem nervous or awkward when the sight of him already makes you blush fervently and your heart races fast. A flashback comes in like an unstoppable train and you almost reach out a hand to your neck, wanting to know if his bite mark is still there. 

The way he acts is so natural that you begin to wonder whether all that happened was simply your imagination. But when you try to move your body, jolts of pain runs like electricity to your bones, making you freeze instantly. It feels like somebody is trying to crack your head open, tearing your body apart and you fall back to the bed, weak and exhausted.

“You all right?” He immediately rushes to your side, sitting on the edge of the bed, checking on your face. “You lost a lot of blood, so I wouldn’t move too much if I were you. I brought you some coconut water, here,” he places the mug down on your nightstand. “And some supplements too. They’ll help with your blood loss. I’ll cook some fish and eggs for dinner later.”

You can only nod, too tired to even speak. His eyes begin to soften, his fingers reaching out to caress the strands of your hair. “I guess I went a bit overboard, I’m sorry.”

“A bit…?” You croak out.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats but can’t help a smile forming on his face. “I tried so hard not to, but you were so cute.”  He leans closer, his lips hovering above yours but he rethinks his decision before he closes the gap, and moves to press a gentle kiss on your forehead instead. “You should get more sleep,” he murmurs against your skin. “Call me when you need help. I’ll be right outside.”

And he doesn’t spare you a glance as he stands up from the bed, but the way he trips on his feet once makes you realize that oh, maybe he’s embarrassed about all this too.

“Hyuck.”

He stops in his tracks, glancing over his shoulder as he lays a hand against your doorframe. “Yeah?”

“Where does this leave us?”

His face slightly goes stern. Turning over to face you, he questions further. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” you pause, wetting your lip in anxiety. “Do you want us to pretend it didn’t happen?”

His eyes darken, somehow seem a bit upset. “Do you?”

“I… Uhh…” The way your heart is beating so fast makes you feel nauseous. “I don’t, but—”

“Then don’t suggest something like that,” he sighs, walking back to your bed again. He kneels on the floor so you’re eye-to-eye, squeezing your hand with his larger one. “Don’t scare me, okay? I finally have you where I want you.”

You look away, attempting to hide your flustered face. “But then, what are we now?”

“I don’t care what we are. I just want us to keep doing this.”

“Doing what, sex? You drinking my blood?”

“No, idiot.” He rolls his eyes. “I mean, yes, of course, that too. Plenty of that. But what I meant was I want to continue to have this kind of relationship with you. Us living together, making fun of each other, having dinners together, even spend hours watching re-runs of your stupid tv shows—”

“They’re not stupid.”

“They’re stupid. I only watch them because of you. You are my favorite show.” He winks, breaking the tension and you blurt out laughing, shoving him playfully by the shoulder. But when your giggle starts to fade, Donghyuck leans in to cup your cheek, smiling softly. “I just want to spend more time with you, as long as you’d let me. So can we have that? Please?”

“I…” You’re so captivated by his features, especially the shape of his lips. “I guess…”

“You guess?” He scrunches up his nose. “You’re playing hard to get again? Seriously? After all the begging you did in the bathroom?” Seeing you blush only makes him want to tease you harder. “What was it that you said? God, Hyuck, I want you. I want you in me. I want you all over me—“

“Okay, shut up, geez!” You slap a hand against his mouth, steam practically coming out of your ears. “Yes, we can have that. I’d… love to have that actually.”

Kissing your inner palm, he lovingly smiles against your skin, appreciating your honesty. “That wasn’t so hard, was it, Sweetheart?”

***

Read the sequel here

[heretherebedork]

I'm so deeply baffled my Korn's fixation on keeping Porsche as Kinn's bodyguard. I suppose that the show could go classic soap opera and make Korn have some sort of investment in Porsche via knowing his parents or something, but that would just be way too random given the way Porsche and Kinn met. I'd like the show to be deeper than that. But it's still so confusing. Porsche is good at fighting, yes, but there's a house full of men who are good at fighting there to protect Kinn. And Porsche doesn't even want to protect Kinn. He made that clear to Korn when he asked to guard someone else. Is it just that Korn thinks Porsche will be more motivated because he's there solely for his brother? I can't come up with an explanation. Thoughts?

Okay! I have the current theories that all might be wrong and are all very loose because, honestly, theorizing plot isn't my strong suit.

Theory 1! Soap Opera. Korn was connected to Porsche's parents and wants to pay back Porsche for their death/ debt/ abandonment or whatever. Seems perfectly plausible if a bit cliche.

Theory 2! Korn thinks the Porsche's specific fighting skills are more important than the rest of his failures for some reason.

Theory 3! Pawn. Korn needs an ignorant pawn near Kinn that he can manipulate and keep track of in order to discover disloyalty in the bodyguards. Porsche is literally just the unlucky guy who stepped into the position and is completely expendable once he serves his purpose. The loyalty that Korn got from him for making sure his brother would be provided for was enough to keep Porsche where he wants him and Porsche's ignorance helps Korn gather more info with each fuck up.

I'm currently leaning towards theory 3 but I'm also fully aware that I might be totally off base.

(No book spoilers, y'all)

[unpopular-dc-opinions]

I think DetCo movies are grossly overrated.

Although some people believe it too, there are a lot of movie fans who look forward to it year after year, maybe even over the manga, so I think maybe not everyone likes my opinion.

Although at first the first films were quite good, always within the limits of not being canon and just entertainment, today the vast majority of films are terrible, with a bad plot, OOC characters, and what is, from me point of view, unforgivable, which is that it leaves aside the mystery, which is what the series is really about, to become action movies... And the most curious thing is that much of the fandom goes crazy waiting for them, as if they were the big thing. As if it were going to affect something to the plot of DC.

These movies are nothing more than high-budget non-canon fillers, where Gosho doesn't even pick the themes or write the plot. Which introduces DC characters acting out of place and developing them in ways, in some cases, even out of canon, as part of action scenes with lots of explosions. And yes, sometimes Gosho can take advantage of a character from the movies to introduce it in the manga, but the movies aren't canon and a lot of people have to understand it.

With this I am not saying that those who like these films stop watching them. But do keep in mind that these should be viewed for entertainment purposes only and not taken too seriously. That they understand that they are only done for marketing, with many explosions and cliches and repetitive scenes, without relevance in the canon or character development, that they have moved away from the essence of the series, which is the mystery and the resolution of cases.

And what has led me to not only have an unfavorable opinion of these, but also directly to not support the existence of the movies is that, due to their great success in Japanese cinemas, thanks to the ease and cliches, in the last time the manga has stopped developing the main plot well to dedicate the cases to promote these films, and thus continue to earn money with them.

And yes, it is likely that it is Gosho's editors who, in order to get the most out of the series, tell Gosho that he should promote the films in the manga cases, but before it was only one case a year, but this year it was the last straw when almost all the cases went to promote the movie 25.

I mean, the movies are not only lousy, big-budget filler, but they're ruining the manga and organic plot development.