#also yes i know i know. go outside etc etc
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airasilver · 5 hours ago
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I said I swear, not that I know for sure. Does it look like I care? I’m just pointing out something I thought I had seen.
Also, the notes say you guys (you in general) have made them uncomfortable….just like we (we in general) have made J2 uncomfortable.
It’s a damn poll, yes I like J2 to win but I’m not going to be upset if they don’t. It won’t ruin my life but sure seems like it’ll ruin all of yours if Phan loses.
Lord above, I think you all who are upset over this and complaining about people being not in the know and calling people names and etc for different opinions, need to all log off and go outside.
Take a break, do other things. Stop letting Polls and Tumblr and etc get to you. Read, listen to music, write, watch something, just get off tumblr for a bit.
Side note: I love how your tags say it doesn’t matter but it sure seems as if it does to you.
Best RPF Ship - Round 6 Match 1
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whokilledsamara · 6 hours ago
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May I request a NSFW alphabet for our deranged, red ass, momo-eyed princess Mr Scarletta from Homicipher👉👈˃ᴗ˂
MR. SCARLETELLA NSFW ALPHABET
a Mr. Scarletella nsfw alphabet. {an : omg.. why ofc.. hes sooo hot i love him. also funny words >< we need more porn of this man in general, also im working on a hc fic for him~~~~ if nobody will write for him then i will!!! ^•^}
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warnings! : stalking, non-conish..? more like dub-con, rough sex, cunnilingus, blowjobs, yandere, blood kink, knife play, hes a kinky mf, abuse play, asphyxiation, afab and amab genitalia described, sadism kink, red. everywhere. miss-use of an umbrella.... looks around nervously
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
it really depends on his mood. USUALLY he is somewhat decent at it. he doesnt really understand the human need for aftercare, so most he will do is probably clean you and cuddle you on certain occasions.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
for him, he likes his hands. and his height, but mainly his hands. {plus you complimented them once, so it made him like them more.}
on YOU, other than your face, definitely your waist and neck. he likes how fragile you are. also he likes YOUR height. small.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
due to his sheer size, he cums a lot. not TOO much, and not as much as the others, but enough to fill you to the brim.
he almost always cums inside, unless its a blowjob. if it is, he likes to pull out and cum on your face or chest. make sure to have your tongue out though.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
he really wants to fuck you unconscious. though not really a secret, he makes it obvious.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
you would be his first time, being a ghost and all. but hes a very fast learner so expect him to be a beast in bed {or wherever} once he finds those spots and what turns you on.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
any position that he can choke you in. or shove his fingers in your mouth. he would take another position if you offered though. he just wants you.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
even outside of sex, he isn't humorous. hes always serious with that stare that he does {soo sexy.. (´﹃`)}
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
not a lot, but its there. nice red happy trail and hair where it would be normally.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
well he's always romantic. in his own... creepy way. but he does love you. too much. in an obsessive, stalker way. so yes, he is.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
he doesn't, nor does he feel the need to, but if he finds YOU touching yourself.. thats a special occasion, he WILL whip it out and start stroking himself then. and only then.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
oh dear.. blood kink, abuse kink, impact kink, vouyerism, asphyxiation, degradation, cnc, etc
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
either his "space" or somewhere random. {he secretly hopes someone will find you}
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
you.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
coprophilia, vomit. thats literally it.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
prefers giving. you are his QUEEN. {king if you prefer.} he is a beast with his mouth. he would do anything you ask, much like Mr. Crawling.
he does enjoy receiving though, loves to see you go down on him.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
fast and rough. will only slow down if you BEG him to.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
anything to get you and him off. he does prefer to take his time with you, so usually he will just teleport you somewhere.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
obviously. i mean its Mr. Scarletella that we are talking about. {drools...} he would do anything risky.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
doesnt have stamina, could go for hours honestly. he can cum pretty fast if he wants to, but either way he just wants YOU.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
no he doesnt own any. {unless you count his umbrella... well get to that later..}
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
oh all the time. constantly teasing you and trying to get you horny. if you tease him back then its OVER for you.. good luck walking ><
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
not loud at all, his breath may hitch and he might groan softly every now and then, but he wants to listen to your noises more than anything.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
he will use his umbrella handle as a "dildo" of sorts. wants to watch you attempt to put it in. the end is curved, so its fun to watch you struggle. he will force it if he has to.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
oo,, big boy. hes over 8 feet tall, so its a given. his shaft is around 8-9 inches maybe, a darker tip and maybe 4 inches wide.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
hes only horny if either you are, or if you do something that turns him on.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
doesnt need sleep, he is a ghost. does enjoy watching you sleep. hes weird, per se. will cuddle up to you and get you as close as possible.
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ranticore · 1 day ago
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Can you talk more about homosocial bonding in Ironwall, I'm curious to know how that works. If there are women's only dance clubs, are their clubs for men too?
Yes but it did work differently for men
The womens clubs are a social holdover from pre-Florian times. A herd is always led by a mare (read: a mother), who would be the leader of their entire social group, enforcing a rather strict hierarchy among subordinate mares and younger women. Young colts and geldings (yes babey we have eunuchs too) have their place in this herd so long as they are related to one of the established female members (a son, a nephew, etc), though colts would have been expected to go their own way once they reach maturity.
What happened at the time (traditional era, pre-Florian, middle ages) was that the colts would stick together when they left their group/town/hold/etc and form little roving bands of 17-25 yr olds. They'd prepare themselves for their proper adult life by play-fighting over literally everything, being gay, and caring for the youngest members of their bachelor band. But it was not acceptable to stay in this roaming, half-wild state forever. They would peel off one by one to try their luck in the settlements they passed, arriving as a potential stallion, not a young boy. They were treated henceforth as ticking time bombs ready to go off, as all stallions are (just because it was pre-Florian doesn't mean it was some egalitarian paradise. you know me better than that and i love it when things suck), and allowed to lead 'from the rear' (a protector role vs the boss mare leading from the front, the one who was truly in charge). In a small herd, the stallion would be the only guy fathering kids. In large complex towns and settlements, herds could merge and separate on a daily basis, and a small number of adult men could claim (with the boss mare's permission) the wives who wanted him.
So in their adulthood, men were never expected to seek out male social groups, because those other men were now rivals (for sex, for dominance, for their place in the herd, etc). Why are you as a man seeking friendship with other men? etc
For the young women in the herd, things can be grim. You're not expected to strike out on your own, but you are expected to find your place in the hierarchy and that means going head to head with the other women. And being gay. Friendships were always made complicated by the friends' unbalanced social status, and the fact that your social status was in part decided by the boss mare (so not something you have the ability to change if her mind is set), and your own willingness to fight (sometimes physically) for your place. Not everyone has the guts to assert themselves, but also a lower social status was not always doom and gloom, usually it just meant others dictating your movement by cutting across your path. Social status in a herd was entirely unrelated to material wealth, it was a separate axis kept track of by everyone around you at all times. Unlike the boys, young girls would be expected to grow up in the same herd, living their entire lives among the same social group, and it also meant that acting outside that expectation was discouraged and disrespected; a woman leaving the herd to find another, without the boss mare's blessing, was considered to be acting either "like a man" or like someone who just couldn't hack it in the often very stressful life of a low-status woman.
BUT! That was hundreds of years ago. Following the foundation of Ironwall, the most common herd structure (small groups of subsistence crop-farmers) began to die a slow death. The concentration of a large population in a small area caused a clash that could not easily be accounted for by the new laws and human-style social norms. Early Ironwall was plagued by gangs of unruly feral teenage boys roaming the streets, so a new law was added to the rest. Boys of the right age range would be conscripted into military service during their bachelor era (great for wartime). Homosexual behaviour might have been tolerated as a quirk of youth, and inherently immature, but the governors and lawmakers saw it as obscenity, and cracked down hard on it. It was impossible to impose the nuclear family on Ironwall citizens, but something like it was enforced; emphasising greater parental control, smaller social groups usually limited to one's workplace (hard work was purifying, so people were less likely to be gay at work... maybe...). The herd structure was sublimated into the overall puritan work ethic of Ironwall and evolved.
In later centuries, womens' clubs like the one I talked about briefly became very common. Homosocial activity among women was more acceptable as they were expected to, like, have friends of the same sex, so they frequently made spaces where they could hang out together. Social clubs reached their peak in the Victorian era, becoming so popular that you could almost find one on every street, and they were almost a prerequisite for a lady, but getting into one involved an interview process with the club's matriarch, the contemporary boss mare. Dancing was only one of the activities they were permitted behind closed doors. They could also play cards (gambling was immodest for women and illegal in clubs, so they would play with game tokens and chips instead, and then leave the club with their chips to go to a second location to turn them into money so technically they were not gambling at the club...), they could drink, and they could take occasional tours out to the local sportsgrounds to engage in Womanly Exercise (aforementioned hard as fuck centaur polo, racing, tennis). The invocation of the traditional herd structure was a feature of the clubs, and its proponents believed that imitating the 'natural' way of life for a centaur was good for your health, but it was mostly artifice, and the role of the boss mare was vastly overstated, practically inflated into a Queen-like rulership over her subordinates. homosexual activity in clubs was kiiiiiind of common, but on a club-by-club basis. you had to find the ones in which you could be openly gay.
because of the other laws about immodesty and women needing chaperones, men and humans were strictly forbidden from the clubs. if any men showed up, suddenly it became a mixed social event, and those women had better be chaperoned so help me god
At this time, specifically centaur social clubs for men were not nearly as common, due to the factors i mentioned above. Why are you, as a man, seeking the company of other men? But boys had to gamble somewhere and they ended up doing it in social spaces which did not have such tight security. Any random guy could stroll into a men's social club, even humans. there was not so much of an air of revivalism there, or any fetishisation of the past, but still it was and has never been considered healthy to be gay past a certain age and for men, friendships were part of that. The gay clubs were few and far between and kept secret.
In the 20th century Ironwall saw a cycle of recession, housing market crash, collapse, migration, and unprecedented homogenisation between human and centaur populations. Romanticising the herd structure was old-fashioned and socially regressive. Dance clubs became mixed-sex, and progressive attitudes started to become predominant. There was a backslide in the 90s, however, when Natural Life (tm) became glamourised once again, a backlash in response to increasingly heterosocial spaces and relationships, particularly against young women who (according to natural life proponents), were only going through a rebellious phase by choosing to be friends with men. Human-derived society was seen as the culprit here, a corrupting influence. Rather than "we are half animal and thus we should be ashamed and try to make up for it", the natural movement's tagline was "we are half animal and thus we should not go against Nature". They were quite well-funded and spawned several popular political parties, differing only by whatever parochial bullshit the individual councillors can do for rando citizens, which have been passing around power without letting their opponents get a word in edgeways for about twenty years now.
For people who really take their Back To Nature movement seriously, they have left Ironwall entirely, ironically seeing it as a den of sin for very different reasons than the ones that led to its founding, and tried to revive herd-based societies in their own homesteading communities, creating a hundred tiny little cults perfectly designed to abuse basically everyone in them. But you can be gay there, so long as you're under 25. still gotta dress modest though
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goldbug127 · 8 hours ago
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Apologies in advance for a long post!
Okay, so I'm watching Transformers Prime for the first time and I just finished the amnesia episodes.
Naturally, I have thoughts. My main one being:
This version of Orion Pax is as feral and all over the place as TF One Orion Pax!!!
HE'S JUST QUIETER ABOUT IT!
Ok first of all, obviously we don't see a lot of this Orion and 75% of the time he's just tryna figure out where he is and what's happening but I believe there's enough there to comment on.
Onto the first scene I want to talk about!
Orion Pax has just been told that his entire home planet has been destroyed, by someone he knew no less. His reaction is one we would all expect from a soldier. Clenching his fist, promising to stop Ratchet, "this I vow with all my spark", etc. etc. BUT we forget, this guy thinks he is an archivist. As far as he's aware, this guy has never fought anyone before plus, we know from later that he doesn't even know he has weapons. And sure he may not explicitly say he plans to fight anyone but, as I said, he's an archivist, his little speech was someone with a big vocabulary's version of "it's on sight if I meet this guy!"
The next scene I would like to talk about is when Arcee manages to get aboard the decepticon ship. Orion is peacefully working on his computer when he starts hearing blaster fire outside the room! What we would most likely expect a calm, sensible archivist to do is, I don't know, ask what's going on? call for help? alert some security? hide? any other number of things that wouldn't put him in immediate and potentially life threatening danger? yes, that would be logical wouldn't it? but Orion? he decides the next obvious step is to walk out into the hallway into what he must assume is an active shooting situation. Then, after being told by a guard to return to his room to be safe, he thinks about it for a moment and then continues to go out of his way to look for the source of the commotion! While knowingly disobeying what he's been told are Megatron's direct orders! He's crazy!!
I also want to talk about how Orion reacts once he starts to become suspicious of Megatron. In the scene right after being confronted by Starscream and the scene later on when Megatron asks him about his progress, Orion Pax, now very sure that the decepticon could be dangerous, decides to lie directly to his face. I would also like to point out that, after one of these scenes, Megatron says that he has never been good at lying. Orion Pax has NEVER been good at lying, meaning that Megatron has seen Orion try to lie before. I don't even know why an archivist would need to lie but apparently he finds way to get in trouble enough that he does so frequently.
Adding on to this point - after Orion finds out he has guns (and realises he can absolutely obliterate others with a few shots (something our sweet historian should have probably been more concerned about)), this GUY decides to MARCH through the ground bridge!! find MEGATRON!!!! (aka the former gladiator and current head decepticon) AND THREATEN HIM!!?!!!?! Threaten him, no less, WITHOUT USING THE GUNS HE JUST DISCOVERED HE HAD! Orion decides to fight the LITERAL TANK using glorified knives. Naturally, Megatron wipes the floor with him in less than three seconds but the fact that he even tried is insane!!
Anyway, I'll probably think of more when I've had more time to think but that's all for now.
Orion is a mad lad in every iteration.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk,
you're welcome,
I need sleep.
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trashcanwithsprinkles · 3 days ago
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hi! I wanted to ask questions about how you proceed to write:
Do you have a general idea with plot twits and such figured out? like general guidelines and then go crazy and write these amazing fics or you just go with the flow?
How do you establish world building? Like, all the fics I've read from you (which are more than great) got lots of info in the world building though strangely enough (in a good way) I wasn't lost on it? Like Cyanide Narwhal has crazy lore to it with lots of characters and stuff going on but as you read you get what happens even though hundreds of stuff happen at once. HOW DO YOU DO IT :0
How do you write so smooth also? Like going from one scene to another makes total sense without there being a cut? (idk if i make any sense sorry ^^').
Finally, how do you explain feelings so well? Well not explaining directly but making us FEEL *looking at cyanide narwhal and i think you're so good (and i'm nothing like you)*. I think that the description of them interacting helps w it (like the way Zhongli looks at Ajax (i am melting please thats so cute-) but even the interaction between Ajax and the kids (big brother behavior)
oh god
i do always have a general idea on how the story is going to go, like what plotbeats i want to hit and what i want to happen. but since it's not a good idea to marry to one path, the details for how things happen or how we get from point a to point b specifically i usually come up with on-the-go, and i do leave room for modifications. like i have a million fic ideas and scenes i want to write but i never actually write any if i cannot picture two things: 1, what the point of it is (the main climax, the main mystery, etc), and 2, how it ends. (the reason why most wips don't make it past a couple chapters is bc i struggle to picture the ending accurately, or how to get there)
i genuinely have no idea how to explain the world building, i'm sorry lmao. if i really had to think about it, no joke, i think i'd say this was stardew valley's fault. yes you read that correctly. more specifically, the earmuffs item. now- it might not be evident as it is rn w the way i write, since it's been a while since i've started doing my worldbuilding like this and obviously it's evolved and gotten more complex w time, but- for those unaware, stardew isn't a game you play for the worldbuilding per se. for the deep world lore. especially pre-ginger island update (1.6?). but there IS worldbuilding, it's just you don't really see it, it's not the point of the game. you're there to grow crops tend to animals suffer in the mines and get a partner. that's it. but you know there's more outside the town and the valley. you know the biggest city nearby is called zuzu, you know what the sea is called, you know there is a war going on in the background, you know there is an empire involved, you know lewis might be the mayor of the town but he's still under the governor of the region. you know there's witches and spirits and elemental beings and aliens n shit. the fucking earmuffs were sort of like my epiphany years back bc their description says they're lined w artisanal velvet from castle village. what the fuck is castle village?? were you ever going to tell me about it outside of those fucking earmuffs? does it even matter? no. it doesn't matter. but just because it doesn't matter doesn't mean the earmuffs stop being an artisanal item from castle village. just because it doesn't matter what the sea is called doesn't stop it from being the gem sea specifically. the fact that you only care, gameplay-wise, about your farm and pelican town- it doesn't stop your country from being at war, from being called the ferngill republic. the world of the game exists outside of what matters to you for the plot. and so even if you're never going to find out some of these things if you don't look, they're going to be there anyway.
i don't know if that makes any sense. it probably doesn't LMAO a probably better way to explain it is like- write stuff the same way you hear our own world being talked about irl. does it matter for the 'plot' of your day if your mother says she's going to one specific supermarket? no. does she still call it by name? most likely. that's just how it works. you know it exists because this is the world you live in, regardless as to how much it matters to the actual 'plot'. it's not there exclusively to serve the purpose of aiding the plot, but because it's a part of your world and therefore must be connected to the world beyond you. the world will only read like it's lived in if the characters speak about it like they actually live in it.
i'm not actually sure that answers the question now that i think about it. it's just- i trully don't know how to answer it. i don't know what i'm doing that makes it interesting and not a complete mess to read even if it IS a complete mess. the only explanation i can think of is that: that i write the characters interacting with their world as though they actually live there. the plot is just something that happens to an already existing, already established world.
also i think you might be merging lore and worldbuilding with plot. yes, the worldbuilding and lore in my fics are absurd, but that alone i don't think would be hard to keep up with. it's the plot also being absurd what makes it seem like there's a lot going on at once (there is, just- in two different fronts). like there's not a million things happening at once in the worldbuilding - there's a million things happening at once in the plot. you're finding out a lot of stuff about the world at the same time, is the thing. anyway,
scene transition without the cuts being smooth i also am not sure how to explain. that's probably on me for not following scene structures properly tbh. so uh- no clue here chief, i'm sorry. i don't even have a guess as with the worldbuilding.
with the writing feelings i do have somewhat of a guess- it genuinely might be some undiagnosed brain fuckery i have. kinda like how the inside joke of asexuals being shockingly good at writing sex scenes goes. if you have a different-than-intended perspective on the stuff, it would probably lead to a different approach to writing it. but other than that i also am not sure
i think the main takeaway is i don't know shit LMAOOOOO
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queerofthedagger · 7 months ago
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will i finally have to cave and set my queue to post more than 30 times a day and other pressing questions on this fine tuesday afternoon
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composeregg · 1 month ago
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edit (10/23/2024) now that the poll is over: Original version, with 10 questions, from April 2023 here
And, given that the original is from April 2023, that means I can very easily say:
No, this was not an ISAT reference!
Just because I use parentheses and 2nd person pov and love the same concepts of what a time loop can do to a person doesn't mean it's ISAT
(Yes, I like ISAT, the original poll is why I was recommended the game! But if you look at the original, you can see all the origins of the options to choose from, including what spurred me on with the moss option from the replies)
If I were going to make something for ISAT, I would never be so vague, you can simply look at my ao3 for proof of that
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morganafayes · 2 months ago
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the thing that bothers me most about the whole exile arc isn’t even that arthur exiles gwen necessarily (though i maintain that the way it was done was still absolutely unnecessarily cruel) but it's more so the way that the narrative presents it. like the narrative framing the writers chose to go with is essentially that what he's doing is wrong because WE, the audience, know that she didn't actually cheat - therefore he’s overreacting about something she didn't do. instead of it being that a) regardless of whether she cheated or not it would STILL BE WRONG for him to exile her even if she did - because she’s a commoner without status and a single woman being thrown out of the only home she’s ever known without provisions or a place to go on the pain of death, and that he’s abusing his power without realising it. (like what happened to all that about class equality... ok!!). and also that b) regardless of whether she cheated she would still be sympathetic and that one mistake doesn't define you and that relationships are messy and people have flaws. idk it is just so ridiculous to me that she’s not allowed to make even one mistake before he exiles her after all that talk about how he would give up his kingdom for her. its a choice!
like ultimately regardless of whether she did it or not. how he responded was still wrong and it really bothers me that that ENTIRE arc (which did nothing but traumatise her!!!!) is made to about arthur and him deciding to take his mistake back and realising he regrets it. like SHE GETS EXILED and somehow the story is still only interested in arthur…. like truly what the fuck. they just put her through trauma and then discarded it all without ever giving it the space it needed to be processed either by her or the audience. it’s the way her pain and trauma are just sooo constantly sidelined by the show's narrative in order to better serve arthur and his 'character development' or whatever. im just so done !
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13eyond13 · 4 months ago
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actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew
#like its always just been there in my life but i just never paid attention#my university roomie was obsessed w them and had several beatles posters that i looked at every day#so stuff like the pictures of them from the let it be album are like engrained into my brain#and yet i never knew the lore??#nor did i know until recently that they were actually all high school buds nor did i know they wrote their own music#nor that they genuinely basically invented modern bands n using the studio the way they did etc. so all that was very impressive and cool#but THEN on top of that omg the angsty gayness of john and paul#like all i knew previously basically was that john was a thing w yoko ono and paul had a young wife recently#i had at one point heard of people shipping j&p together and was just kinda like wow i guess people will ship anything#I DIDNT KNOW#that they were actually like that cute and that insane together and that their song writing together was like an actual marriage#anywayz the old pictures and videos of them are just like jesus look how they look at each other i dont think it was just being bros#i am sort of in the camp of they prob didn't act on it for real but there was def some insane tension/chemistry going on#and then ofc once youre aware of this their songs take on so many possible meanings outside of just singing about their gfs and wives....#anyways i just have to vent about this somewhere bc im actually shocked at how this has just passed me by all these years#and it definitely was not on my bingo card for 2024 to fixate on the beatles but here we are lol#more proof to me that my ultimate fave trope or wtv is 'besties to enemies when really they actually probably wanted to be lovers'#gets me every time!!!!#whats been fun about this rabbit hole is how just every single one of my expectations has been reversed as well#i went in assuming i would like them best in this order:#(1) george (2) ringo (3) paul and (4) john#i was sure i would hate john i thought he sounded so pretentious and like such a douche#but no actually he is my fave one and it's literally in reverse order for me i find george my least fave#(i like his music and feel bad for how he got ignored in the band but i like him the least)#and then i literally am john paul ringo george in order of faves now#i just love when i get surprised like that idk it keeps me on my toes and keeps things exciting and fresh#and yes john is indeed pretentious and a douche but i didn't know he was also funny and vulnerable and that i like his voice and songs#the most in the bunch almost every time as well#the beatles#p
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ruvviks · 26 days ago
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having an idea for a game but it's miles above your skill level
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#personal#elevator pitch: point and click 2d art-heavy narrative driven game. mc is a scientist in a closed off laboratory in a post apocalyptic worl#player plays as the mc going through a daily routine consisting of taking care of a few patients that are dying of#the zombie plant esque disease that has wiped out humanity. working towards breakthrough day. on which they should#hopefully have managed to recreate the exact circumstances in which patient zero got turned#in hopes to reverse engineer it into a cure#solving puzzles along the way to open up new locations within the labs to piece together what exactly went wrong in the first place#and like!!!!!!!! i know i could do this. realistically i know i could put a game like this together but it's just#the dev heavy stuff that is stopping me because well i am just a game artist JHDGJFDKGJDFGKFDG#all the patients are in different stages of infection and it's all affecting them differently because of different variables#only one of the patients is actually fully lucid and can be spoken to on the daily#but then on breakthrough day they end up taking their own life JUST like patient zero did exactly a year ago#and it turns out that despite showing little symptoms on the outside the plants were taking root inside of them#which has been foreshadowed through earlier gameplay with the patient feeling itchy but not being able to scratch the itch#and on breakthrough day the flowers inside of them bloomed... and it was unbearable so they used the gun that they took#a year ago from patient zero's body (their colleague) to end it all. and THAT is what ends up turning them into a plant zombie#and the player has been working towards getting into the labs where it all started to find patient zero's body and like#get access to the logs of their last few days. and after the patient in the present has passed they listen to the logs#while the credits roll. and patient zero describes very similar symptoms in the logs. and they also couldn't have been saved#ig the patients in this could be some sort of metaphor for like. how illness doesn't always come with (the same) symptoms for everyone#and how even if it's not visible on the outside someone might be struggling a lot etc etc. something in that direction#anyway hi does anyone here see my vision. do you understand what i'm going for. anyway yes i hope i can make it reality one day
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toytulini · 4 months ago
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i feel like the makeup standards are not necessarily going to get Worse, just. stay the Same. "raised by sephora and ulta" christ alive yall act like this shit is new. as if this hasnt been the standard to blast young girls with makeup ads and shit via magazine and tv and imposed beauty standards anyway. the only real difference is like, idk, accessibility of tutorials for how to apply it well
#toy txt post#spoken as. a no makeup bitch#altho i have also been accused by a terf of wearing a pound if makeup for wearing. visible lipstick in a selfie. and that was It#the actual Beauty Standard has largely stayed the exact fucking same of like making your skin texture as fake as possible#that was the standard back then too but it was harder to achieve /know how to do it cos there werent tutorials the same way now#also yes sephora and ulta are evil and all that but like the same amount theyve always been.#yall really acting like these imposed beauty standards being exposed to children is like a new unique tiktom thing thats never happened#before. and yall blaming instagram are no fuckin better. this has been happening The Entire God Damn Time#also theres something rubbing me about the way this is getting talked about. 'she did all thos other arbitrary bullshit except this#One Thing! the discrimination against this one thing is awful!#and like. it is. but i feel like we could address that while also maybe stepping back a tiny bit further and questioning these arbitrary#standards of professionalism too while we're at it#why does she have to have a blazer either? why do the earrings have to be understated#why do the colors have ti be bland and boring? why does he hair have to be a natural color and gender conforming ?#etc etc etc#like if we're accepting all that other shit the ppl upset about this could acknowledge she might experience similar discrimination for say#very obvious goth or punk-y makeup or anything a little too far outside the bounds of the acceptable beauty standard#everyone is pissed about 'eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man' but theyd be saying nothing if she was discriminated for fuckin#big wings and black lipstick bc well thats Obviously not professional standard makeup. okay?#if we change how we look at professional standards of dress and makeup as a whole to include Fucking Freak Bitches#then it would be a lot easier to include No Makeup in there as welllllll#idk#im a no makeup bitch with blue hair whos only ever worked in warehouses so they didnt give too much of a shit about my lack of makeup#or blue hair as long as i didnt show up in like flip flops which is a Reasonable dress code bc its got an actual fucking reason#(safety so you dont lose your goddamn toes to a box or a grate or some shit) vs it makes the office corpo bros sad#anyway idk if you have the privilege to get away with it i think you should dress weirder in the office to get them used to weirder dress#maybe instead of Suddenly going No Makeup sort of slowly lessen the amount so its not a Sudden change or smth#again: if you have the privilege and job security to get away with it#also also also: easier to get away with if you were to say. mask. js. they cant get mad at schrodingers lack of lipstick
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badolmen · 1 year ago
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My toxic trait is unironically liking 2000s-2010s country music 😔
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milo-is-rambling · 1 year ago
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Sometimes this -> :)))) is just not strong enough for what I mean
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unproduciblesmackdown · 9 days ago
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payoff of being embedded in a unit of authoritarianism since birth is sure then being able to go like "wow this is just like dynamics & phenomena i experienced up close & personal, repeatedly, in many contexts & configurations in my first two decades of life" plus also beyond that in abuse culture world & the noncoincidence that even interactions beyond the confines of the home(tm) reinforced / did not contradict the hierarchy & concomitant abuse within....but then like hey yeah also the Larger Units of hierarchy & abuse / authoritarianism (ft. their logics & practices necessary for continuously & continually shoring up that hierarchy) can also make it like hey yeah the Two Parent abusive nuclear family more like the Two Party [the US is also a one party state but in typical american extravagance they have two] where right wingness is defined by the degree of directly embracing white supremacy & "left wing" is "anything else" hence like wow The Left is always infighting (everyone with any ideas besides "umm christofascist white ethnostate?" so like yeah there are many other ideas) vs The Right's admirable cohesion (simply re: the white supremacy idea which also necessarily embraces all other Out Group / Nonperson paradigms & practices b/c that's what all already has been necessary for shoring up the [when has the US been a nongenocidal non white supremacist non oligarchy])
like obviously individual experiences & contexts vary but like narrowing in on [the Family as immediate relations ideally cordoned off into nuclear households] ft. [Parental Authority the top priority of which is preserving that authority, ideally patriarchal, an abusive mother e.g.? hey, that ought to be the father] times it's like, think people tend to struggle re: having the "nicer" / "safer" parent who was also shitted on as well but also at the end of the day would always side with the "meaner" "more dangerous" parent, even in whatever terms most sympathetic to the abused parties, with the underlying logic that we're always just going to have to deal with them so some secret strategic mitigation is the best that can be done, perhaps the equivalent of being sent a ":(" after an Onslaught Of Expressed / Enforced Authority(tm) event....the tendency to see the best in any lack of actual intervention / protection on the assumption That Could Never Happen Anyway & forever At Least that the one parent isn't as bad as the other [the Not That Bad / Could've Been Worse infocation, like free bingo square in manifestations of minimization if not outright abuse denial] & all the sympathy for, you know, being human & doing their best(tm) &c which sure might all be true but the abused parties (oft children, more vulnerable than adults, by virtue of being children i.e. considered legal property of some specific adults & theoretical property of any adults in general (the paternal logic in any "protect [xyz]" like maintain one group's supposed ownership / control over [xyz] "for their sake" then? great) & also generally smaller & newer at being alive in this world) but who are liable to not extend that sympathy to themselves (or certainly not be extended that sympathy....when is "they're doing their best / they're only human / they mean well or whatever / they love you, they're family" successfully deployed the Thwart an abusive parent like it is to tell an abused child to not be too resentful of this situation, when is it actually deployed toward the abusive parent at all really. & again in the lack of boundary between the authoritarianism within many individual family households & that of the state they exist in (here re: the US) like that naturally one encounters the logic of abuse expressed just as "common knowledge" & the Assumptions of other people, e.g. the rejection of a parent having zero access to a child, the reinforcement of automatic apologia deployed for whatever a parent could possibly do, argued for "family", yet not deployed the same way to automatically defend anything thee child(tm) could do, thinking emoji lol....see: like the non boundary between [the Patriarchal home/family(tm)] & capitalism when uh oh capitalism the system of continuously maximizing exploitation Needs various forms of labor to be unpaid, uh oh another lack of boundary when white supremacy is used to also shore up the patriarchy that shores up the white supremacy, e.g. that even if in some "inferior" class it's treated as More Important that at least you're not that And black, the theoretical ideal/normal white man is a person while a white woman is a woman while a black woman is black, white women could have any legal property via chattel slavery which needed white women's participation to help enforce, the specter of sexual violence all coming from nonwhite & especially black men & it's up to the genteel white man to Protect Women (see prev, implicitly white or you'd have to specify otherwise)
anyway that is to get around to pointing to the Two Parent System wherein so shockingly the results are the same as the One Parent System re: abuse maintaining The Family (properly, i.e. unquestionable & certainly undeniable parental access to children, & "ideally" ofc again the patriarchal Father as ultimate authority w/ownership over the Mother, who in turn is theoretically honored for that motherhood (at least you own your children, insofar as it doesn't contradict w/what the father wants to do with his superior claim to ownership) & then finally all the obviously shittiness from being in that position in a patriarchy is in turn dumped on The Children who are ungrateful & owe the mother everything Because of what the broader society & immediate personal expressions of that abuse have done to her. see also ofc that two adults likely don't have the resources to raise a child in time or money or energy, maybe there's only one but also even an extended family's worth of adults aren't enough, is it enough when a child is sent to school for some other adults to be in charge most of the day, or even if someone is hired to look after them beyond that, all this ofc with the assumed premise that a child is always limited to the various Domains of The Adults In Charge, & from there i segue into how naturally being in gay baby jail unless & until adults are no longer recognized as Legally In Charge Of You (the grand like 5 minutes it's relatively been since the ideal timeline of a woman's life wasn't being legal property of her father until asap passed along to legal property of her husband. still considered ideal ofc but like with "maybe you can have a bank account" now & "maybe you can become 29 before you're in Old Maid danger" Maybe, i said, Maybe....anyway that obviously adults(tm) being divided up (atomised. spritz) into Households isn't even supposed to be enough to live on their own, re: necessitating Marriage, much less uh oh having kids who are stuck with their parents who are stuck with them, but then all the obvious actual problems & abuses inflicted on Adults to have to have their family households & exploited jobs are dumped on the children who Must appreciate & be loyal to the parents (i.e. never Deny Access) while yknow kids have Fake Problems they're whining about, the one Real Problem of having to pay a bill gets the payoff of leverage to tell your children to shut the fuck up or perhaps the more vulnerable spouse
hm didn't segue right into "so shoutout to like The Ratchet Effect diagrams lol, the "Two" Party System where its supposed left wing Blocks Movement To The Left, right wing Moves Everything To The Right" but even that is like, mm, conferring a passivity to what democrats do in the continual movement to the right (won an election? lost an election? the lesson either way is The Right Is Right; exact same logic as in "winning or losing" "the war on crime" like the collection & analysis of whatever statistics show the trend of some "crime" is increasing in frequency or magnitude? show that it's decreasing? the lesson either way is Cops Need More Power) like the institutional effort of democrats to push a candidate nobody wants through primaries (did we even do that this time around. oh great that the assumed candidate even graciously agreed to not force themself as The Candidate, & now like 5 min left with the Next In Line candidate dumped on everyone now with the lesson for the left(tm) to shut up already lol) & then it's up to Grassroots Voters. it's up to Unity & well we all Need to listen to the white supremacists, points were made, in the "elections" with voting as limited as possible & with the electoral college & supreme court as Safeguards against democracy & here's the senate, eternally thus, & again the conclusions will always manage to be moving To The Right, paraphrasing from twitter like democrats are about to be or already at the point of "in the name of unity we will no longer be running against republicans; it's too divisive :(" which yknow is already The Statements of all of yesterday from various like "i'm the republican official white supremacy agree-er now" after also the entire campaign of "no, I'm the fascist" where like wow shocking that the appeal to the fascists didn't win a) the fascists who will ofc want the even more overt fascism, why wouldn't they or b) the people who want antifascism actually, and do not want fascism; who could have foreseen? & it's always the fault of being Too Antifascist for the actions of the fascists or the Diplomatic Comprimises the other party makes with the fascists &/or their Failure to thwart them....the Nicer, Safer party in power is surely doing their best & at least they're not the Meaner, More Dangerous one but at the end of the day they'll always side with that party over america(tm) & those bearing the brunt of the actions of State Power can be told to keep their chin up or else to stop acting out b/c how do you expect that state power to respond, cmon, you bring it upon yourself, & you Have to work with them & understand all their feelings & your role in resolving those feelings by being lesser inferior property, you do Have to understand, b/c in the end this is All About Family, surely Good & Necessary, whoops i mean in the end this is All About America
anyway yeah i'm like damn my "nicer" (also shitty) father who was also the even more sexist & racist (& certainly no Less ableist, queerphobic) parent was basically the democratic party of the Two Parent System of Family Government lol. b/c we Need to perpetuate this Family, no other logics much less actions are acceptable....& people struggling with the Parent / Adults in their life like that who were the "safe" & "protective" ones who markedly failed to protect & minimized the harm afterwards but also in general, never to confront the reality of the situation, or do damage control like "aw some points were made at all :( ah i see you have Feelings about this :( hmm yes the Parental Power is gonna have to make some changes" & then as soon as possible (assuming reeling in the party who was deviating too much) these changes(tm) are already compromised or diminished if done at all, & then oops things incrementally might be right back to how they always were, no guarantees it won't be Worse b/c the Power is even more insecure / aware of weaknesses, & the only way this is thwarted is if the Wayward Parties can actually leverage new boundaries / less vulnerability, not b/c the supposedly sympathetic parties, who never came through where it counts & likely would also become overt antagonizers / wielders of whatever power within the Family hierarchy / turn on the more vulnerable parties to Get Them In Line, actually came through. movement Away (more disruptive to the maintenance of The Family, The State) is blocked, incrementally only ever moving everything back, & then Further....& despite this being what the power structures are, & do, the Disruptive parties liable to be scapegoated lol, can't believe the scapegoat child is ruining everything for everyone, this Family would totally improve & start being everything it could be otherwise & we ignore who actually has the power & is actually enforcing the hierarchy harming everyone to point to that scapegoat; can't believe thee left is destroying america (republican voice) can't believe the left is destroying america (democrat voice) So You See? The Undeniable Consensus. just like how i believe it was my fault my family unit was Like That & i had those experiences, according to the vast majority of Input from that family & even others who, knowing nothing, would say how Lucky i was to be relatively close to home, or just of course that oh well parents love their children & mean well & try their best. just like how i believe that being treated like i've been generally as a neurononconforming person, i.e. hated & the interpersonal abuse & bullying & ostracization & [attention possibilities: ignored, responded to but negatively, interacted with to get something from] & actually rewarding interactions or just actions being liable to get Deluxe authority responses as disruptive(tm) & ofc disobedient(tm) like hell fuckin yeah lol. just as i don't think that other people who have similar experiences or ones i don't have, i.e. assessed race being automatically seen as wrong / inferior, being isolated & undermined from all around? well gotta be their fault then, cmon lol....Abuse is actually normative, not extraordinary, in every Arena of interactions, & so are the logics / apologia / assumptions
anyway lol re: like yeah people struggling with the like betrayal of the "nooo i'm on your side, i sympathize, i'm the one who's nicer & you Need so that things aren't even worse" party, not even One Big Novel betrayal, but rather that that's what's Been done the whole time & doesn't stop. that supposedly if you have Any sympathy for that party you have to be like aw :( keep doing your thing (necessarily reining everyone in) or if you have Any sympathy for the people who also want things to improve but blame & take it out on the more disruptive parties (more disruptive to an abusive family e.g., btw. & not like i see Cohesion as necessarily some Good rather than neutral? when i'm autistic / my existence is supposedly antithetical to this? or when i'm able to look at a zillion hypothetical or actual situations & recognize how "cohesion" isn't the best goal / a destructive one / a vague concept anyways like cohesion Between Whom? on what basis? recognized & pursued how? why? up next: same as vague shit like "family" or "community" &c) then it's like yep gotta be Responsible for their feelings too if you're at all sympathetic & capitulate, The Only Possible Action, vs the idea of those in power actually making things shit stopping, much less being stopped / having to stop in the various ways that can happen....one way being "oh no, adult children who choose to be no-contact with parents" which is seen as A Tragedy, & sign of a Deteriorating Society, take me back. ah jeez oh no, look at the divorce raaates....Oh No, twentysomething women aren't pursuing marriage enoughhhh....again the undetectably identical echo when people peak vaguely talk about "conflicts" that thwart "community" or whatever, ugh nobody will date anymore, commit anymore, be friends anymore, hang out as coworkers anymore, talk to me if i want to talk to them anymore, &ccccc....
the real tl;dr is like wait ""two party"" (one party) US electoral system, just like ""two parent"" maintenance of thee family lol. ratchet effect raise your hand if you've only ever experienced Movement Away from the abusive family blocked, forever incrementally ratcheted back in to the desires & pursuits of those most in power / top of the hierarchy / thus of course most invested in the abuse, that's what the power & hierarchy is made of, sustained by, perpetuates....sorry doing our best :( sorry that's just all that's realistic, no other choice Really. cmon. kind of Your Fault if you don't agree to that & whoops now Everything is the fault of whoever doesn't agree & cooperate enough :( now look what you've done & brought upon yourself :( & we'll just forget the eruption of violence suppression happened & will happen again & be the overhanging threat all in the meantime
#aaand post whoops it's Politics; Abuse text blocks again. you know how it is#the [it's the same thing] resonance of Thee US State things & ppl's responses like what is this. my family (sitcom laugh track)#which then yes i do see the Differences first & foremost lol. going Hmm Antiauthoritarian Lens On News / Politics well before even#doing so re: my own family situation experiences which i was thinking of as normal (they were though) & not that bad (but it was)#indeed ''the home'' as a supposed site of Safety; relative restraint in the intrusion of State Power on such a domain#with being nonwhite & poor liable to make the home(tm) unavailable; less ''safe'' if so; less surveilled or intruded upon by the state#all wherein Money; Patriarchy; Parental Authority is meant to exert its own Control aka ''protect'' vulnerable parties a Home may contain#(that's a not necessarily neutral ''contain'' there lol) e.g. ah [true crime montage] women are Safe & Protected in The Home#as are Children as are Disabled People. oh no we have to be Necessarily Suspicious of what allows ppl to venture outside the home#rather than seeing that as neutral or perhaps even good when the Ideal Home Structure is as a force & site of isolation#oh god no not The Internet intruding into The Home (allowing people outside it. e.g. children. cough Aah Protect Them from Social Mediaaa)#stranger danger satanic panic true crime(tm) serial killer(tm) the scary nonwhite disabled poor Intruders of ideal suburbia etc....#tangent there. & if you aren't contained in a home / your home is not so Safe from state agents? well#just as pointing out [not in prison] as merely Lower Security that you will be moved to higher security (such as prison) over Violations#i.e. failure to be Properly Contained....uh oh out in public Unchaperoned; not spending money properly?? being nonwhite?#disabled? poor? That's Not Allowed; an appeal to some Personal authority (guardian; husband) might be made; might be seized by the state#to higher ''security'' b/c Lower isn't deemed containing you enough at Job & Home & not being too deviant & poor or intruding in the Domain#of those who are less so; incl even their illusion of power like umm i should never have to See a poor#might be executed with the automatic defense of the Necessity Of State Agent Killings & every last noble & sympathetic Feeling behind it#whether spontaneously as extrajudicial police killings or judicial preplanned state execution or the acceptance & embrace of deaths in the#context of the continuous exploitation & extra / exacerbated vulnerability for created & enforced social classes#& that every site of greater ''security'' is like; you must move toward Marriage; Nuclear Family; Normativity#your own ''proper'' exploitation in w/e structures like Family; Business; A ''Good'' ''Community''; A ''Good'' ''Nation''#or else For Your Own Good / The Good Of Others / You Bring It Upon Yourself like eh imprisonment? other exclusion / ostracization#while subject to the forces that get to respond to that realm of abjection. parallel abuse tactics of a prison vs perhaps a house/family#even more meandering tags here lol but much to discuss....certainly granted a relative fast track / front row seat via like#relatively ''normative'' life in various ways; white US sorta middle class; but personal autodidactic experiences as disabled queer#happening to be abused within the home (also plenty of Even More ''not that bad'' logics / practices even from Good Parents(tm)...Uh. lol)#no Experiences inherently guarantee w/e conclusions or principles but sure put mine to an antiauthoritarian context; boo hiss#& learned shit. stunned like wow yeah what's Disruptive to the norm is scapegoated? you stop ppl pleasing; ppl are displeased? whoah....
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aroaceofthesea · 10 months ago
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I was in a 18 bday party today and we didnt have a gift for the bday girl💀💀
#luckily we made a pretty good last minute save#im usually the kind of person to sit back and say yes to whatever ppl are saying to get for the persons bday#the problem is that this time there wasnt one big present and every group did their thing#and the four of our group were the same as me so we literally didnt even think of a gift until we were there💀💀#luckily we know her rlly well (weve been friends since like 3) so we decided to get her a vale for puenting#<-sorry if the last sentence is illegible to you im too lazy to think how to say it in english#and we looked pretty cool and she was rlly happy with the gift so i take that as a win#it was a 25 ppl dinner and we only talked the 4 of us lolll (and with the bday girl obv)#but i had fuun i got to see sides of a couple of them that i had never rlly seen before#bc like the bday girl me and another weve known each other since forever we were bffs at school etc#the other two are from music and i n music theres a group that are kinda intimidating so most ppl outside that group arent rlly completely#themselves at music tho you get to see them after music when we stay talking or on the walk home etc#but theres not as much time so it was nice to get to know better the other two😋😋#also im rlly happy bc the bday girl and the other one aftr years of barely talking even tho we saw each other every week it feels like#weve been reconnecting lately (we stopped being good friends bc life not any argument or anything) and i love it#like i know it will never be like it used to be in school when we were super close but its nice to have them as friends again#looking back on it our relationship was never very healthy (in any direction tbh) but it was nice while it lasted#i wouldnt want to go back to what we had but i would like to build a new and healthier relationship with them and its finally happening :)#ok that was a long rant lol#mine#life
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xinganhao · 24 days ago
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🙇‍♂️ svt when you get jealous.
anon → "Could I request SVT reaction to you being jealous? 👀?"
⌗ ┆love a flip of a good trope d(・∀・○) pls note that the ff. members feature manips/edits, so credits go to the rightful owners: jeonghan, joshua, soonyoung, wonwoo
‧₊˚✩彡 includes: f!reader, established relationship, pet names, jealousy 🤭, fluff/crack/etc., [short] headcanons under the cut.
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🙇‍♂️ headcanons .ᐟ
— "oh, boy, here we go again" ✩ junhui, wonwoo, mingyu, seungkwan, chan.
anyone dating junhui or mingyu have got to be god's strongest soldiers. both boys would be a little exasperated at your jealousy but they also react to it in their own ways. junhui, for his part, will always crack in the end. he may goad you about all his romance scenes but he's quick to switch up when he thinks he's gone too far. mingyu, on the other hand, focuses on making you realize how ridiculous you are for the (mostly) unfounded jealousy. when that doesn't work, he'll try to distract you with something else. it's not often that you get jealous if you're dating wonwoo— if anything, you might be envious about all the time he spends on his games. when it comes to people, though? he's not about to tolerate you thinking that way. he'll shoot you down quicker than any other member does with his. no pickup lines or pleasantries, here; just the straight truth. seungkwan's reassurances are just a little more on the teasing side but they're never any less sincere. he's the type to be very conscious about not giving you a reason to be jealous in the first place. meanwhile, chan may sometimes be a little more on the clueless side, though he'll always get there eventually. does he joke around about it? most definitely. will he be on your doorstep to pick a (playful) about your jealousy until you can do nothing but succumb to his charm? also yes.
— "so help me, god" ✩ jeonghan, soonyoung, jihoon, vernon.
jihoon would be at an absolute loss™️ in the face of your jealousy. it's a rare thing, for you to be envious of anything outside of the time he spends on work, so he will try to tread lightly. the way he fumbles about attempting to reassure you is endearing enough for you to forget what you were so upset about in the first place. jeonghan is one of the rare ones who would try to incite your jealousy; what can he say? he likes poking the bear sometimes. but he's also the image of someone who can dish it but can't take it. if he's met with your petulance, he'll fall on his knees in any/all attempt to get back in your good graces. soonyoung's plenty oblivious when it comes to what might make you jealous. you can expect him to pull out the pout and puppy dog eyes when trying to convince you not to be upset. and, oh– vernon is oblivious to the point where it's almost painful. he won't get that someone's into him until you point it out. when you do, though, he'll do everything in his power to allay your concerns.
— "you're the only one" ✩ seungcheol, joshua, seokmin, minghao.
minghao comes from a family where his parents only have eyes for each other, so it makes sense for him to also be the same. reassurance comes easy for him; he'll never joke about your feelings and he'll talk you through it, even. at any given chance, he makes it abundantly clear that he's spoken for. there's no hiding from joshua, either. he's too perceptive for his own good and he'll know if you're jealous, even if you try to hide it. he never blames you for how you're feeling and his focus is on how he can avoid making you feel that way on the future. seungcheol is the type who'd be a little endeared, even, that you get jealous. he likes it if his partner is a little possessive and territorial. you can tell that he's smug about it, though ultimately he'll play in to your little charade. seokmin, on the flipside, is a big believer of nipping things in the bud. if he thinks anything might make you jealous, he's already keeping you from overthinking before it can start. he's not going to have you questioning yourself; not on his watch.
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