#also yes i havent touched this in months PLEASE DONT MIND ME

[kevinsdsy]

first ever shawn anderson mention in my fic

[just-some-random-blogger]

good morning/day/evening, my lovely angel!! youre soso sweet and cute i cant TT 'i was bummed out i couldnt write' its ok dont worry about me! your comfort is the thing that matters the most! give yourself time. 'i havent written in 2 days' its ok. i cant state but do you think it may be burning out? bc you work really hard and have lots of work beside writing. you really owe nothing to anyone. ill repeat it as many times as i need. bc you do great, you study, do covers, you do a lot. thats more than great! you still worth the world and let down noone. and if anyone have the guts to say otherwise, i can have their tongue. you are the priority. if you dont feel like writing, maybe you shouldnt force yourself to do it to even lessen your minds ability to do it rn. give yourself time. tumblrs nothing when it comes to your mental powers. i dont remember if you say smth about 'kiss it better' later but id talk abt it here. i hope things will get better for you. hope your manifest works really well and ability to do creative things cutie. its very comforting. hope you enjoyed writing it. also the whole concept made me remember the song 'guard you' by young k. its just the most comforting song for me. its released on my bday but for some reason i ignored it for months? ill never forgive this. its really good to have someone to take care of you and 'guard you'. even if im not next to you, remember im always here for you and will always support you. 'i have to keep making art. i cant stop' its great if you cant and feel like it. but please dont force and overwork yourself. you are still you if you currently dont have strength to make art. 'i do love his name' your love for masc feminine names is so adorable TT hes not completely CRINGE meme but not a kind(?) meme either. its difficult to explain esp with how humor here is but yes. 'why didnt you put an episode number' i watched it like.. 2 years ago. you think i remember? im a grandcat myself. i need to do a research for it. maybe at weekends (basically its saturday even here rn but nvm). first epp with matt smith is pretty touching esp with karen gillah and a little drama they have but i also like peter capaldis doctor. esp the beginning of his era. well see. and i never watched davids seasons TT im sorry but its true, cant help you here. 'if i cant write this rn' and hows it? 'poor bb girl witch' nooo she shouldnt feel like it TT the point is she loves her love more than she loves the very daemon. 'sounds tiring' reasonable. ig it can be said abt all my ideas. btw, wfal isnt tiring you? or like a burden? ik you dont like writing long things so im kinds worried now. 'i need a cleanse fic' is it kiss it better? anyway do wild girl! 'but i’ll listen to it later' did you listen to it?... im not making you, just interested ghdjfj. also! ive only learnt abt 'Running up That Hill' by Kate Bush (in another witchy playlist...) and 1) i LOVE it sm her voice and the way of singing is so enchanting? 2) it gives me waiting for a lifetime vibes.. yeah its origin meaning isnt exactly abt it but its the magic of art isnt it? the opportunity to interpret it however you want. and the deal with god pretty much reminds me of the au. 'you’ve got such a beautiful brain' thanks TT take it after my catmom. ive got lots of things to do for the exams but my mental state has only allowed me to watch videos with kitties, cry cats and dogs and listen to this song of kate for the past week. theres the one i cried hardest over (subjectively) and theres the one i cried hardest (objectively). theyre just cute if you ever feel like it. and HEs so tiny i SCREAMED. thats it. just cute vids to bring your mood up. how are you? whats the weather like? hope you are or will soon do great. have a nice day/evening/night! ill try to find an episode and write down some ideas, maybe youll find some inspiration in them. good luck with all the hw and assignments! take care! love you<з *freezy kisses for you to not burn in your weather*

hello my love <3 <3 <3

meow meow muning <3

good morning/day/evening, my lovely angel!! youre soso sweet and cute i cant TT

wait why am i so sweet? what did i do?

anyway LOOOK I GOT A NEW OUTFIT FOR LISA!!!

here she is normally

that's all.

'i was bummed out i couldnt write' its ok dont worry about me! your comfort is the thing that matters the most! give yourself time.

T_T but i love you

'i havent written in 2 days' its ok. i cant state but do you think it may be burning out?

T_T ... i think youre right. T_T

bc you work really hard and have lots of work beside writing. you really owe nothing to anyone. ill repeat it as many times as i need. bc you do great, you study, do covers, you do a lot. thats more than great! you still worth the world and let down noone. and if anyone have the guts to say otherwise, i can have their tongue. you are the priority. if you dont feel like writing, maybe you shouldnt force yourself to do it to even lessen your minds ability to do it rn. give yourself time. tumblrs nothing when it comes to your mental powers.

thank you. this means a lot to me to hear this. you dont know how very much your words mean to me.

i want to write. but i cant. i want to write ideas outside my reqs but also i want to make reqs but also i cant. i dont know

i dont remember if you say smth about 'kiss it better' later but id talk abt it here. i hope things will get better for you. hope your manifest works really well and ability to do creative things cutie. its very comforting. hope you enjoyed writing it.

i dont know if i enjoyed writing it but while rereading it i was like 'damn im really good at writing' i hope i get out of this hitch T_T

also the whole concept made me remember the song 'guard you' by young k. its just the most comforting song for me. its released on my bday but for some reason i ignored it for months? ill never forgive this. its really good to have someone to take care of you and 'guard you'. even if im not next to you, remember im always here for you and will always support you.

omg this was yonks parting gift before enlisting. (i call young-k yonk cos thats what it reads like yonk HAHHAH) im so touched that you feel this way towards me T_T i feel the same for you. lol its so funny you ignored it but ended up loving it HAHAH. i want a hug from you for real i want to cry.

'i have to keep making art. i cant stop' its great if you cant and feel like it. but please dont force and overwork yourself. you are still you if you currently dont have strength to make art.

T_T i want a hug. i dont know if im forcing myself but maybe youre right i should stop T_T

'i do love his name' your love for masc feminine names is so adorable TT hes not completely CRINGE meme but not a kind(?) meme either. its difficult to explain esp with how humor here is but yes.

i have nothing else to say about him so heres him with a dog <3 i love the dog dog <3

'why didnt you put an episode number' i watched it like.. 2 years ago. you think i remember? im a grandcat myself. i need to do a research for it. maybe at weekends (basically its saturday even here rn but nvm).

grandcat T_T it ok i just assumed you had an episode in mind. you dont have to research

first epp with matt smith is pretty touching esp with karen gillah and a little drama they have

i'll watch that!

but i also like peter capaldis doctor. esp the beginning of his era.

ive seen crack edits of jenna coleman and him and i kinda wanna watch his too

well see. and i never watched davids seasons TT im sorry but its true, cant help you here.

LOL HAHHAH thats fine thank you anyway i love you

'if i cant write this rn' and hows it?

T_T i cant write it im sorry

'poor bb girl witch' nooo she shouldnt feel like it TT the point is she loves her love more than she loves the very daemon.

She loves her love for daemon more than daemon himself? or daemon lovers her more than daemon ???

'sounds tiring' reasonable. ig it can be said abt all my ideas.

its not your idea that tiring its the idea of writing that tires me. baby i love your ideas T_T please stop exploding on yourself

btw, wfal isnt tiring you? or like a burden? ik you dont like writing long things so im kinds worried now.

🙄 gee. i literally make mood boards for it, i wonder if its tiring. well ok enough sarcasm, it is very much laborious but its a labor of love. i have not enjoyed writing a... series in a long time. its not a burden. i promise you i will stop writing that fic once i feel like im done with it. i was partially joking about ending i at p5 but i do hope i manage to keep it short T_T asfhs/flhsd

'i need a cleanse fic' is it kiss it better? anyway do wild girl!

it was. but idk if i was cleansed

'but i’ll listen to it later' did you listen to it?... im not making you, just interested ghdjfj.

i listened to the first part of the first song and i ejected i dont remember why but i guess i didnt like the vibe T_T

also! ive only learnt abt 'Running up That Hill' by Kate Bush (in another witchy playlist...) and 1) i LOVE it sm her voice and the way of singing is so enchanting? 2) it gives me waiting for a lifetime vibes.. yeah its origin meaning isnt exactly abt it but its the magic of art isnt it? the opportunity to interpret it however you want. and the deal with god pretty much reminds me of the au.

ive listened to this song before. she does have a very strong and enchanting voice. im honored that my fic reminds you things T_T thats so sweet and so nice of you. im honored to have such an impact on you <3

'you’ve got such a beautiful brain' thanks TT take it after my catmom. ive got lots of things to do for the exams but my mental state has only allowed me to watch videos with kitties, cry cats and dogs and listen to this song of kate for the past week.

you and i are so same. our mental capacities are overloaded. i think i might really just stop writing for a while T_T idk ive got these ideas i want to get out of my brain though

theres the one i cried hardest over (subjectively)

T_T PUMA PUMA <3

and theres the one i cried hardest (objectively).

LOOONG BABY FLOOF <3

theyre just cute if you ever feel like it. and HEs so tiny i SCREAMED.

ive seen this before T_T theyre SO tiny i squishhhhh

thats it. just cute vids to bring your mood up.

thank you they mean so much <3 this post is really cute too. im luv

how are you?

im currently in class not listening because id rather reply to you. dw its a concept ive studied before. my head hurts and im hungry. i also want to pee so badly but i cant leave my desk. i want to read fics to badly

whats the weather like?

its so hot my head hurts

hope you are or will soon do great.

me too i hope you are also well.

have a nice day/evening/night!

i love you i hope you have a nice day too <3

ill try to find an episode and write down some ideas, maybe youll find some inspiration in them.

thank you so much <3 the fact you care enough to do that. T_T thank you.

good luck with all the hw and assignments! take care! love you<з

me too T_T i want to graduate. i dont want to fail. i cant fail. T_T i feel dumb sometimes even though i know deep down im not T_T

*freezy kisses for you to not burn in your weather*

thank you <3 i love you

i also wanted to share this video about wolves. i love it so much. it makes me love nature so much. it makes you realize how important it is to allow animals to stay in their habitats.

also this tiger series. i used to watch this so much. i love tiggers love love love

i love you bye bye my love

xxx

[shigarakisslutbag]

I-I don’t even have a choking kink but I would like to request reader choking shigaraki or telling him to choke himself ( what have I done to myself 😀) and also is it ok if the reader was a top and shiggy was a bottom??

Welcome to the cult my friend.

AHEM

Listen up mother fuckers

Shiggy was MADE to be topped

And have a sweet mommy domme who also fucks his brains out

Our dear tomu LOVES being told what to do

Being the leader of an entire league of villains is... well it's a pain in his ass

*he* tells everyone what to do *he* makes the decisions and *he * calls the shots

Except in the bedroom

He doesn't love a lot of things, but you? You're his escape

He loves when you take care of him and I can give a whole list of sfw (which I am, I do have a request for that lol) but I'm gonna feed you guys with nsfw tonight

Now

He absolutely LOVES to be choked. Whether you're sneaking up behind him, on top of him milking his cock for all its worth, or simply teasing him

He loves your nails going up and down his throat before your fingers wrap around his throat like a snake suffocating it's prey

But tonight you decide to switch things up a little

Seeing pretty biys like him getting hurt is so much fun, its even better when he does it to himself

Especially if he enjoys it, thats the real fun

You and tomura are probably shilling out on his bed, you sprawled out on top of him, with his arms wrapped around you, holding you like a security plushy

"Tomura... will you do mommy a favor"

Hearing you speak in that sweet sultry voice lf yours, refering to yourself as his mommy, already has the poor boy hardened beneath you .

"Yes mommy", is all he says, waiting and anticipating your next demand.

"Choke yourself." Hes quite taken aback, but doesnt show it. He wants to question you, but he knows better than to do that. Besides, the logical voice in his head just wants to please you in any way he can. He just wants to make his mommy happy . You dont even give him enough time to move his hand before you grab his wrist with your gentle fingers and guide them up to his throat, positioning them to wrap his hand around it.

"Now add pressure for me, sweetheart." He's throbbing so much, that hes sure hes already leaking pre-cum. This is such an odd request but it turns him on greatly . He quickly adds pressure as asked and he starts to whimper.

"Aww, atta boy. Whimper for mommy like the slut in heat i know you are . I can feel you poking my thigh. Does this get you off? The choking? Or me telling your dumb little self what to do ? What would you even do if i wasnt here? You probably wouldnt even know how to properly fuck yourself now would you? Thats why im here. Because mommy knows best, and she knows your body better than you ever will."

He feels so euphoric, the more pressure he adds . Your words are like a drug to him, slowly seeping into his veins and making the blood rush straight to his cock. He wants- no- needs more . He'd do anything to have more of your delicate touch. And as if you were reading his mind while he was distracted, youd already sprung his cock free from his boxers .

"Keep your hands right where they are, and let mommy have her fun"

(Im SO sorry i havent been writimg that much lol. Ive just had a weird past couple of months. But i hope you guys enjoy this! Making tomura choke himself is just 🥵🥴 . I actually had fun writing this. Probably because its more in my element lol . Requests are still open y'all! It just might be a while before i get to them! But they are open:) love yall<3)

[reidsconverse]

matchmaker • spencer reid

Spencer X Fem!reader

Warnings: None!

Based on this request: Omg blurb where the team is having a night out and the girls and the guys are separated at the bar hanging out and all the girls are talking about who the hottest guy is and everyone says Derek and reader says she thinks spencer is hotter and everyone is kinda shocked and then Penelope tells him/tries to get them together?? (sorry its almost a month late anon)

“Oh my god, look at him go.” Garcia said, pointing at Derek who was currently in the middle of the dance floor surrounded by girls. This came as no surprise to any of you, he was known for his good looks and charming personality, both of those combined made him a catch to most girls.

“God, theres a reason he’s the most attractive guy on the team. Oh look at him move!” She squealed which made you giggle. Yeah, Miss Penelope Garcia was most definitely drunk.

“Hey,” Emily said in disagreement, she was equally as drunk which led to her having even less filter than normal, “Hotch is up there, something about how he’s always so tense just does it for me. I just wanna hold him down, loosen him up and show him who’s actually in charge, y’know.”

JJ groaned in disgust, not wanting to think of her superior in that way, “Ok Emily, time to slow down.” Her mom side coming out as she slyly replaces Emilys vodka with some water.

“What about you Y/N? Derek or Hotch... ooo what about Papa Rossi...? Garcia asked animatedly, wiggling her eyebrows and laughing at her addition of the older man who honestly, you viewed as a father.

“First of all, please never say that again. Secondly, none of them.” You said, taking a sip of your drink, now you certainly weren’t sober, but you also weren’t the drunk enough to reveal your secret crush... or so you thought.

“Oh come on,” JJ spoke up, “you’re telling me you find neither of them attractive.”

“No Jennifer, I just don’t think they’re the most attractive...” You said, a slight smile on your face.

Emily adorably scrunched up her face in confusion before it hit her. “No way... Dr Genius, really?” She didnt mean it in a bad way, you had just never outwardly expressed anything but a friendly interest in the doctor.

You felt the 3 girls stares boring into you and you caved. “Ok Ok, yes personally its Spencer. I’ve liked him since I first started but he would never be interested in me so lets not discuss it”

Penelope’s face lit up at your confession, completely ignoring your request. “Ooooo y/n, oh you have to tell him, oh you’d be so cute together.” Her voice was progressively getting louder and you didnt wanna risk anyone overhearing.

“Pen, seriously, he wouldn’t be interested, I mean he can do so much bett-“ You started, before you were cut off by Penelope.

“Dont be ridiculous, have you seen the way that boy looks at you, he’s totally into you.” She said, and before you could realise what was happening, she was calling him over.

“Penelope no what are you do-,” You began to protest but stopping when he approached the table. “Hey Spence.” You waved up at him, earning a smile in return.

“Hey! What’s up?” He asked.

“Reid, JJ was just about leave and she’s mine and Emily’s ride so I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind keeping our good friend Y/N here company” She said, slightly slurring her words and smiling as she looked back and forth between you and him. Oh my god you were gonna kill her.

“Uhh, sure yeah I have to wait for Derek anyway, I promised to drive him home.” He said, nodding towards the man in the middle of the dancefloor, clearly too drunk to be driving himself.

Penelope glanced at the other two girls, who quickly began gathering their things in order to leave. She placed a hand on Reids shoulder and smiled at him. “You, Spencer Reid, are a good friend.” She said before leaning down to whisper in your ear. “Maybe even boyfriend.”

She pulled away before you could say anything back, giggling to herself before wishing us goodbye and joining Emily and JJ by the door.

You watched them leave, as Spencer took a seat next to you, “Sooo... how’s your thesis going?” He asked, genuinely interested in your work which made you smile, Penny was right about one thing, he was a really good friend.

“Uhh its ok, research is a killer and I kinda hit a dead end but i’m getting back into it.” You replied, and he nodded. It was quiet for a second as you fiddled with your glass.

“I-“ “So-“ You both said at the same time, making you laugh nervously.

“You first.” You offered, and he nodded. He also seemed nervous about what he was gonna say which made you curious.

“I- uh, I kinda overheard your conversation earlier...” He said, and your smile instantly dropped, and you could feel your stomach churning. He knew your secret, he knew that you liked him.

“Oh my god, Spencer i’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” You said, about to begin a rambling of apologies when he quickly cuts you off.

“No! No you didn’t. I just, it was unexpected. Why would you think I wouldn’t be interested?” He asked, head tilting to the side as he looked you like a small confused puppy.

You looked down at your glass and sighed, “C’mon Spence, you’re you...” His confused silence made you elaborate, “You’re amazing Spencer, you’re kind, smart, funny and... and frankly you’re incredibly attractive. You’re way out of my league.”

You looked up when you felt his hand gently graze yours, Spencers aversion to touch was well known by everyone at the fbi, so this physical...almost intimate contact came as surprise.

“I- I’m not good at this,” He stuttered and it was your turn to be confused but luckily he continued. “I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love you from the first day we met and... I know that might be ridiculous to say because we havent spent much time together and love at first sight isn’t that common, actually a study showed that-“

Whilst you normally loved to listen to your favourite genius ramble on about facts and figures, right now all you wanted was to tell him you loved him too, honestly it felt like a pinch me moment and if it weren’t for the warmth of his hand against yours, you would’ve thought it was a dream.

“Spencer,” You looked up at him and smiled, gently squeezing the hand that was holding yours as reassurance... to tell him it was real, “I love you too.”

He slowly leaned in, his eyes darting from your lips to your eyes silently asking if it was ok to kiss you and you didn’t hesitate to pull him forward and do what you had been waiting forever to do, your lips moulding together perfectly as if they were built for each other.

Little did you know that Derek was filming the whole thing to send to Garcia, who no doubt would not stop talking about what a matchmaker she is, and truthfully shes a damn good one.

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

i am ready

already starting out with a bop

yo this is great

also im tapping my foot as a stim bc these are good

facetime with my mom tonight reminds me of like.....pop videos....like pop music videos, im saying it reminds me of “what do you mean” by justin bieber, as it was also shot in a single room

ah yes the butterfly effect

hello socko

socko be spittin’ facts

aw :( poor socko

NSID

if only the companies during pride month said the same lol (some are legit)

“against racism in theory” uh-

yo butterfingers are kinda nasty (to me)

an avocado

A WHITE WOMANS INSTAGRAM OH MY GOD

damn it got real, you good white woman’s instagram owner

a dreamcatcher bought from urban outfitters oml

some ppl can shut the fuck up lol...i cant, i choose not to

for an hour, hell yes

also this lighting is very nice

yo what the fu-

*cries in inception*

him reacting to him reacting (and on and on) glass after glass, i honestly really like how he portrayed that. that’s kinda how it feels when i go on a tangent, and have to pick up the pieces of my original thought, especially if i’ve lost my train of thought.

IVE HEARD TIKTOK AUDIO OF BEZOS AND I OH MY GOD

ITS SO GOOD

this is going on repeat, and i love the meaning

the scream is really good too

im....horny honestly same

you send me a peach....ill send a carrot back...cool cool

we love asking for consent (as should everyone)

sit why do you have a knife

the sexting song reminds me of “orange juice” by melanie martinez

sir why do you have a knife-

*disassociates*

“well well, look who’s inside again, went out to look for a reason to hide again”

i didnt need to be called out

ah yes a wet hair segment

this is so 80s, giving me “holding out for a hero” we love it

bitch im trying to listen, shit ive been complicit, my brain

age is a very scary thing. i feel like a lot of people start throwing others away once they’ve reached a certain age and that isn’t really okay. people should be able to enjoy what they want to enjoy at any age (within reason, of course). the venom that some people face is so....gross. just because they’re in their 30s and enjoy reading fanfics, or making them like??? they arent hurting anyone, mind your fucking business. im honestly happy that a lot of my pals are older on here. i may not know what the fuck they’re talking about sometimes, but there’s still a lot of shared experiences, and things like that.

im absolutely terrified of getting older. i know and understand that i’m young, i’m literally 15 years old, what do i need to be scared of.....a lot. i just dont have a good relationship with death, and sometimes i lie awake at night, thinking about how nothing in life is permanent, besides the life cycle itself. things live, and things die. and i know it happens, i’ve just yet to accept it.

for so long, i’ve wanted to “be a big kid” and do all these different things, but i just...dont know. i feel like my brain is older than my body. and my thoughts, and things i like. it’s really weird. i’ve been told that im “mature for my age” and all that, which i see as a compliment, rather than someone trying to be a predator. which is understandable in both aspects. but i sometimes wonder if i wasnt...me...y’know. if i wasnt mature for my age, and looked a bit younger. (i look young in general, but eh, you get it) i look tired sometimes, (its because i probably am) but it’s odd. anyways, back to me reacting.

turning 30 is a bop

hes not out of touch, it’s honestly fine to not be on social media and shit

yeah, i already disassociate enough, it happens mostly when im listening to music...hmm

2030 i’ll be 40 and kill myself then.......yeah

ME EXPLAINING WHY I SAY WHAT I SAY SO PEOPLE DONT WORRY

dear lord, yeah its too real

i know i dont want to, but i really just....want things to stop sometimes. so i can breathe, and gather my bearings and get through it. things get a lot and i just need a break.

YO WHY DO I RELATE DEAR LORD

i really need help jesus christ

thank you for cleaning me mr burnham

yes i like the show, im not tired of it, its just fine :)

yo he put a whole game in this shit, hell yeah

yeah i want out of the house, but like......AUGH no

why tf is this so accurate

wake up at literally 4 in the afternoon, feeling like a bag of shit (oh no)

if i mentally feel like shit, i cant sleep it off lol, my dreams exhaust me at that point

“could i interest you in everything all of the time” me listening to tunes

THATS WHERE THE MANIACAL LAUGHING SOUND IS FROM AND IT CUTS OFF I DIDNT KNOW THIS INFORMATION

love ur forehead glowstick dude

i like the idea of it being like...contained, but im sure that im losing it because i havent been like...NEAR OTHER PEOPLE. the pandemmie has NOT been great. anyway.

total disassociation, total out your mind, googling derealization, hating what you find

PLEASE THIS IS TOO ACCURATE

aw :(

its 4 in the morning so my hands are gonna be up, and im just looking at him

this is so beautiful

yo he put a “the living tombstone” on that one

him sitting on the chair reminds me of the one scene in “kill your darlings” where the main character has diarrhea, and they’re sitting on a chair bare ass naked (so they dont have to take the pants off, yada yada) while also writing on a typewriter.

yo this was great

okay i admit that i was mad sad earlier, but like....im fine now. and especially not now. i’ve been told not to watch inside when not in a good mental state, and i get it. im fine now, but that was good. i honestly laughed more than anything. i dont feel like crying. it represented a lot of my thoughts and feelings well. i like it.

[maiface23]

SUBMISSIVE:

The Masturbation vs. Sex Debate

Note: If anyone listens to the VIEWS podcast, then you would know David said before he prefers masterbation over sex. That's where I drew inspiration for this fanfic for Sub!David. Also drew inspiration from @dd-imagines . I really enjoy Dom!David, so this was a new way of writing for me, This also might turn out long, so I hope you're ready, and I Hope you enjoy!

Warning: Smut, Fluff, Choking, Aggression

You've been with David for a while now. Time has flow, by your not really sure for how long. Maybe 6 months? Maybe more? Either way, the connection and chemistry you have with him is undeniable. You've done everything in bed with David that is possible.... So you thought... knowing everything about each other's bodies. Your relationship is just bliss.

One day you realized you havent been catching up in David and Jason's podcast. There was some shows you havent listened to before, shows that they made before you two became involved with each other.

You were bored, laying in your bed, wishing you went with David to New York. But you couldn't, So all you could do was wait for the time to go past untill everyone came back home.

You scroll though the shows, waiting for a title to catch your eye, when you finally find one, titled "$400,000 to quit drinking".

You start to listen, missing David's voice, comforting you as you lay alone, wishing he was there with you, holding you. Then something David states that catches you off gaurd.

David on VIEWS podcast- "I think masturbation is better"

Your eyes wide, feeling confused.

David on VIEWS podcast- "I just think- that- one- you know what you want the most... it's so convenient, you can do it whenever you want... You can do it where ever you want.... one part of your body helps out the other. It's almost like- kinda magical."

You gasped. You feel so offended, but you start to realize that this was before you guys got together. Maybe single David just thinks differently, and he changed his mind. Even having these thoughts, you are still upset. Am I not good enough? You think to your self. You honestly didn't even want to finish the show, you feel like you might just get more and more offended if you do.

You decide to distract your mind with other things, cleaning your apartment, listening to music, painting, anything to make you forget about that podcast, Waiting for David to be home.

Two days later:

You're waiting for David at his house, you let yourself in with the key he gave you. You were so excited to hug him, to kiss him. And also egar to ask him about that part in VIEWS. You're sitting on the couch, when you hear the door open and bags shuffling.

David- "Y/N...?" He called out, wondering if you made it to the house before him.

You jump up out of your seat and make your way to him quickly, David smiling wide as he sees you rushing to him. He drops all of his things to wrap his arms around your body, embracing you. He smells like your David, his warmth comforting your body. You pull away slightly so you can give him a kiss. You wrap your hands around his neck and pull him in, His lips taste like your David as well. You stop kissing and look up at each other.

David- "Hi." He says as he smiles

Y/N- "I missed you so much."

David- "I missed you too, I wish you would have been able to come with, but I'm glad you're here now."

You lean in and give him another passionate kiss. His lips so wet and soft, you really did miss him so much, but you're still thinking about what he said in his show. You start thinking about when would be the right time to bring it up.

Hours go by, you are all watching random stuff on TV while you lay on the cloud couch. You and David cuddling, Nat, on the other side eating mac and cheese, Jason making some joke about how much of a dork the guy on TV looks like. You really want to ask about the podcast, so you say fuck it.

Y/N- "So I was listening to the old podcasts..."

David backs up a little bit to get a better look at you.

David- " Yeah?" Waiting for you to elaborate

Y/N- "You think masturbation is better than sex?"

Jason cackles in laughter. Natalie stops eating and looks up and giggles.

Natalie- "Oooh David... you're screwed now." she says as she laughs

David smiles as his face gets red.

David- "Well... I said all that before we were together. I dont know... yeah, I- I think like- it can be better. Sometimes- I dont know."

David stumbles over his words, you know hes trying to make a point without hurting your feelings. You blush at the thought of David trying to be nice to you, but still hold his opinion as his own. Suddenly you're not as upset as you once were, but you get a good idea instead.

Y/N- "I think I'm gonna have to change your mind then." You smile

Jason- "Awww shit, Dave... looks like you're gonna be a lucky man tonight."

Everyone laughs

You shuffle yourself out of David's grip, standing up to move over near Natalie.

Y/N- "Well.... actually... No." You start to grin

David- "Come on Y/N, dont be upset."

Y/N- "Oh, I'm not upset. But I promise you, you're about to be."

The room goes silent, waiting for you to speak again, David's face looking very confused, not sure how to respond.

David- "Why'd you move away from me then?"

Y/N- "Cause I'm going to change your mind. For the next week, You are not allowed to touch me, unless I say so."

David's eyes widen

You lean in close, wrapping your grip around David's neck.

Y/N- "And if you touch me without permission, you will go longer and longer without my body, do you understand"

Jason and Natalie start dieing laughing, David almost loses his breath, instantly being turned on. David has always been the dominant one, this is something you both have not played with before. The sudden shift in control changes everything in that one moment. The power you feel over David, with holding your pussy from him. Suddenly, hes small beneath you, yours. In your hands, your toy, his Dom. For once, David being the Submissive.

5 days later:

Things have gotten pretty intense around the house. David tried talking you out of it a bunch of times, apologizing, but he was always a good boy. Not taking his chances on missing out on you. Always gets within arms reach, but never reaches. It's almost like he doesnt want the game to end. You can tell he likes feeling weak and helpless, not in control.

You've done little things here and there to make him whimper in desires, making him wanting you. Walking around the house in a thong and tight tshirt with no bra, skimpy dresses when u go out, making sure you bend down right in front of his face when you need to pick something off the coffee table, eating ice cream and popsicles seductively.

You're both sitting on the couch away from each other, you keep noticing David glancing over at you, missing you, missing your touch. You know you miss his as well, But you're having too much fun torturing him, making him your slave, following your rules. It was so exciting, even for David. You start to have another idea, hoping with what you have planned, it will push him over the edge.

Y/N- "I'm going to go take a bath."

David innocently looks up from his phone

David- "Okay, have fun."

You go straight to his bathroom, getting the tub ready, making sure it was filled with soap so it would be filled with bubbles. You tie your hair up so it doesnt become wet, taking off your shirt and your shorts, then your bra and underwear. You step in and instantly become relaxed. You lay back and enjoy yourself for a while. Playing with the bubbles once in a while, washing your face, pampering yourself.

Soon, you decide it was time.

Y/N- "Daaavid!" You shout, wanting him to come into the bathroom.

He walks in and smiles

David- "What's up?"

Y/N- "Can you help me out, I dont want to slip."

David becomes surprised, since this was the first time in days you asked him to touch you.

David- "Y-yeah... O-okayy"

He reaches out a hand, waiting for you to do the same. You wait a moment, until he locks eyes with you, you slowly stand up, letting the bubbles fall slowly down your wet naked body, falling down your tits perfectly, some soap staying stuck to your stomach, and legs, a goddess. You reach out an arm.

Y/N- "You can only touch my hand, NOTHING else, Do you understand?"

David drops to his knees, his face becomes pained.

David- "Oh my God, baby. I need you so badly, please. I'm so sorry, FUCK."

Y/N- "Touch me anywhere else and you will fucking regret it. Do you understand." You say with a smile

David's head drops.

David- "Y/N I said I'm so sorry, I promise I will ne-"

You cut him off.

Y/N- "Quite!" You yell

David instantly becomes silent. He really has mastered the art of being a slave.

Y/N- "No more whining, or I will give you something to whine about. And my name is not Y/N to you, its Mistress. Do you understand?"

David- "Y-yes.... I'm sorry"

Y/N- "Sorry what!?"

David smiles.

David- "I'm sorry.... Mistress."

He stands back up and extends his hand. You grab it and slowly step out, letting water drip on the floor, your eyes locked in together again, You decide to play with him a little more

Y/N- "Dont look at me until I tell you to."

David's face drops in seconds, and admires your body, aching for it. At this point he knows not to take any chances by prolonging his suffering, so he listens to every command like a good boy.

You take your towel, and try to dry off, David standing there looking at your body and at the floor. He doesnt even know what to do with himself anymore, hes like a child, waiting for direction.

Y/N- "Go sit on the bed."

By command, he turns on his heels and does exactly that. You hear him in the other room, shifting himself into his side of the bed. You put on your bra and underwear, leaving your clothes on the floor. You said you were going to make him suffer for a week, but at this moment, it feels right to reward him.

You walk into the bedroom, David looks up for a moment, but quickly looks back down to the floor. You walk towards him, your body inches from him

Y/N- "I think you've been a good boy, I think you deserve an award, dont you?"

David looks up at you and in your eyes, smiling, he reaches out and grabs your waist. You slap him across his cheek, wrapping your hand around his throat and pushing his back down on the bed.

Y/N- "Did I fucking say you could touch me, or look at me?"

David loses his breath once more

David- "N-no, No I'm sorry."

Y/N- "SORRY WHAT?"

David- "I'm sorry Mistress." He says as he closes his eyes and puts his hands over his head. You grin

Y/N- "look at me."

David does as hes told.

Y/N- "I'm not about to give you what you want, I'm going to give you what you need, do you understand?"

David- "Yes, Mistress"

You're straddling his lap with your hand around his throat. Your words echo straight to his dick, you can feel his hard cock trying to break free. You get up off him, he doesnt move a muscle, frozen, afraid of making the wrong move, he looks up at the ceiling, powerless. You start to un button his pants, and pull down his boxers, seeing his throbbing dick break free from the torture that is his clothing.

Y/N- "This is mine. This is for my enjoyment, do you understand?"

David- "Yes, Mistress, my cock is yours"

Pleased with his progress, you reward him by taking his size into your hand and into your mouth. David let's out a moan.

Y/N- "Do you like that, slave?" You say with a smile

David- "Y-yes, Mistress."

You start pumping him, faster and faster, you feel his cock twitching.

Y/N- "You better not fucking cum."

David- "Yes, Mistress"

You've never seen him like this, pained with pleasure, scared to react. The thought of any moment, you could get up and leave him there terrified his desires. He was aching for affection from you, he would do anything for you to please him, or for him to please you.

Y/N- "You're a good boy, arent you?"

David- "Yes Mistress, I'm a good boy, Mistress."

You continue to pump his dick, and torture it with your mouth. You started to be come aroused as well. You stop, and stand up.

Y/N- "Get up on the bed, all the way."

David follows his commands, sliding his way up, rest his head on his pillows near the head board, still looking up at the ceiling. You take off your underwear, and climb up onto the bed. You take off his tshirt, then straddle yourself onto David's lap, hovering over his wet, warm, throbbing dick.

Y/N- "Look at me."

David looks down at you with his beautiful brown eyes.

Y/N- "Do you want my pussy on your cock, slave" you say smiling

David smiles back

David- "Yes, Mistress"

Without hesitation, you drop down, letting his dick fill you up, you didnt even need to prepare for it, all this excitement has you dripping wet already. You put your hands on his chest and start to slowly bounce.

Y/N- "You have permission to touch me."

David swiftly grabs your waist, hard. The way it felt was like a weight was lifted from him, finally being able to get what he wanted.

You start to bounce faster, his hands keeping you steady, you take one of your hands off his chest and wrap it around his throat once more, your finger tips gripping tighter, enough so he could still breath. His eyes roll in the back of his head in pressure.

Y/N- "Are you feeling pleased, slave?"

David moans- "Yes... Mistress..."

You keep bouncing, faster and faster till you can feel yourself orgasming. You tilt your head back and ride out your high. Moments later, you feel his dick twitch inside you.

Y/N- "Tell me when you're about to come."

David- "Yes Mistress, I'm about to come Mistress."

You hop off of him, wrapping your hands and mouth around his cock so his load could fall down your throat. David moans as he finally gets the release hes been working so hard to get.

You lay down next to him. Both of you breathing heavily. Laying there in silence until you catch your breaths. David turns on his side to get a better look at you.

David- "I think I'm inlove with what just happened. I didnt know being so powerless felt so powerful. I think I'm gonna have to piss you off more often." he laughs

Y/N- "If that's how you feel, I'm really going to make you pay."

David- "Please make me pay, baby." he laughs

You reach over and wrap your fist around David's neck again.

Y/N- "Please make me pay, WHO?"

David smiles- "Make me pay..... Mistress."

[snickiebear]

hiya snickie!!! came here to SCREAM with u!!!!!! i so love the action in OL&W!!! thank u so much for the lovely update ❤️ im a little confused about where shika’s intense hate is coming from… obviously the war and all that but it’s not like he and his guild didn’t kill a whole bunch of others who fought too… i sorta feel he’s being irrational about Sakura but maybe when your shadows talk like his do, you’re bound to stray from logic somehow…

ANYWAYYYYY mysterious sakura is mysterious AND add in gaara to that mix — I LIVE FOR A JEALOUS SHIKA IN DENIAL! it’s sad doe that sakura had to fight temari and now our dear sand baby no longer has his sibs :( please dont make him resent sakura, he feels like a genuine friend to our fearsome pink tiger

UGH i have so many questions and i havent even checked out the index yet but i will soon! i just wanted to drop by first! 🥰 but if u would be so inclined to answer (unless it’s a spoiler):

1. will we know more about sakura’s relationship with itachi and shisui? in the first (?) chap, i think she said something like “i see itachi has found me” which definitely sounds like a hide-and-seek thing with them and i dont mind an itasaku angle to this ❤️❤️❤️

2. is there a chance for ino and sakura to be friends jn this AU? right now it seems like sakura only cares about shika and whatever it is going on in her head (but still about shika). it also feels like ino just wants to steer clear of sakura??? but maybe that would change after the latest chapter??????

3. will we ever know where shikaku disappeared to in the months before the war ended (also known as “the final battle feat. sakura’s badass drop from the sky”) i’m quite curious as to why shikaku seems so chill when sakura appeared in their guild… he obvs knows something i dont hmph

4. do u have an inspiration for their outfits? it’s not as easy for me to imagine the characters and setting in my head because i also was not exposed to a lot of fantasy literature/movies/etc.

UGH I SWEAR IM ENJOYING THIS TOO MUCH!!! remember when i told u i don’t really like fantasy AUs but then you go write this amazing piece and add in some mystery to the freaking truth about the war… HOW EVEN??? 😱 i love the mystery about everything in OL&W so even if i have all these questions here i am giggling to myself trying to think up different possibilities 😆

thank u so so so much! ur work keeps me on my toes, as always! can’t wait for the next chapter!!!!

🐱

🐱!!!!!!!!

HEY BBY!!!!

you are 100% right to think that shika’s anger is like “dude eat a snickers”! he is being irrational, but he doesn’t see it that way. he blames the losing of the war on sakura, he’s putting a lot of anger towards her… and like you said, with the Shadows whispering in his ears, it is a bit hard to tell reality from thought. ;) plus, shikamaru is a very unreliable narrator. 

YES JEALOUS SHIKA! I’m so glad you caught onto that! its the beginning of the “I hate her” and “don’t touch her” conflict. and i can’t wait to get into it moreee >:))

as for gaara! Don’t worry too much about our sand bby. he is very intimate with death (*cough cough*). plus, he and saku are longterm friends, it would take much more than sakura putting down his turncoat “sister” to sever that bond. they’ve known each other for years now ;)

AAAAAA 🐱 you’ll make me cry! thank you so much for coming over here and screaming at me!!!!! I LOVE IT!

1) kind of! the next chap we’ll be seeing shisui and itachi! Though, the amount of info we get on them and saku will depend on shika (but for you 🐱 i’ll see what i can do ;) )

also! ITAKSAU! i love that ship, its so fun to read and aaaaa but! im not gonna really dive deep into those two and i am always up for leaving things for interpretation. Plus, sakura’s lived since the Violent Era, so itasaku might have happened ;))

fun fact! in the very early stages of this (very first drafts) i had itasakushi a thing, and i quite liked it soo take that as you will ;))))

2. HOPEFULLY! ive been turning it over in my head so much lately and i’m hoping so! there are time skips after almost every chapter (until the end ones) so im hcing that later on (you’ll see) that they work together and come to stand on stable footing. also a thing to remember; ino and cho are not the same as shika, they don’t see sakura in the same light. also, they’re a lot mentally healthier LMAO

3. ah yes! he and his half of the army simply lost communication and probably had been bombarded and cornered by the enemy! ALSO I LOVE THAT NAME AHAHAHA! near the end shikaku comes clean about why saku was there. for the past eight years shikaku and yoshino have been trying to protect shikamaru (and themselves) from the growing “rebellion”, it got too much so sakura came in to clean up house. plus, saku and shikaku are friendly, saku and yoshino are def friends.

so, they know they can depend on sakura to take care of things, hence why they’re so relaxed about the murders LMAO

4. yes! and kinda! so if u check out the pinterest board and scroll through it all, near the “bottomish” you should be able to find some clothing/weapon references to give you an idea/vibe! in all honesty, i don’t have a clear cut image in my head either, so whatever comes to mind works great :)))

AAAAAA 🐱 ILYSM!!! I still cannot get over the fact that you took a chance on this, that means everything to me!!! and the fact that you’re really enjoying it???? take my heart! its yours! there are going to be even more mystery elements coming in the next chapter (this is where “plot” starts and im so HYPE)

If you ever have any questions (or theories after reading the index) please let me know! i’d love to hear and answer em!! And maybe push you in the right direct ;)))

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!!!!! :))))) ILY

[thingstotellthem]

hey OP here’s a checkpoint for you!

how are you doing? have you had any water or a snack lately? if not you should get something, you deserve to be properly nourished! get a soft blanket and make yourself comfy, you deserve to rest and treat yourself :-)

is your country still on lockdown? if you go, did you go back to school? were there restrictions when you went back like having to wear a mask? what’s your favorite subject whether it be now or when you were younger since i don’t know how old you are!

what’s your favorite book? movie? do you watch anime? do you like puzzles? do you do any sort of art, and if yes, what’s your favorite medium? (ex: pencil, paint, acrylics, clay, wood, etc.) do you prefer apple juice or orange juice if you drink either of them? have you picked up any new skills over the last few months with the downtime? maybe you baked a loaf of bread! i don’t know! have you done a face mask recently? they’re relaxing :-)

what about your pets if you have them? how many do you have? what kind of animals are they? do you like playing with them if they do that?

final question, how are you really doing? i’m sure your go-to might be that you’re fine, but truly, how are you doing? running this page has got to be taxing on you, are you taking care of yourself as well?

i hope you have a lovely day or night whatever time it is for you when you see this! please take care of yourself, and thank you so much for what you do. this page is a literal lifesaver for myself and i’m sure many others. you’re so wonderful to be doing this. i hope you’re well ❤️

thank you so much for this thoughtful message! if you dont mind, ill answer it under a read more so i dont clog up the dashboard ♥

ive been drinking water steadily all throughout the day! i always carry a bottle of water with me wherever i go so hydration is never an issue. im also about to eat soon and ive been doing nothing but resting today, so no worries on that front!

my country entered lockdown 2.0 in mid-september and were now slowly reopening in two-week increments. i believe this week stores with open air access (so no malls) have opened. im not currently in school, but i know from friends that most classes are being done online with some exceptions. i love any humanities subject, though history and literature are my favorites. i aim to major in history in the future! im 21, turning 22 in december.

my favorite book is, without a doubt, the book thief. its an extraordinary story in every way and the writing is just... chefs kiss! exquisite. i cannot recommend it enough. my favorite movie is inception, though i must admit 1917 is slowly replacing it- it was the last movie i saw in an actual theater before covid and i sat in my seat for five minutes after the credits ended in complete awe. its an incredible movie!! it made me jennie slate scream. i used to watch anime when i was younger, but i havent seen any in at least eight years; i think ive grown out of it, if that makes sense. i do like puzzles! they feel like little exercises for my brain. i write, and i also draw sometimes. ive drawn my first ever vent art last month and it was very cathartic. i prefer orange juice over apple juice, but to honest im not a very big fan of either of them since sweet drinks give me a headache. ive started crocheting a blanket for my soon to be born nephew, which i like- crocheting is very therapeutic and meditative. i havent done a face mask recently, but now i want one.

i have a cat (selek) at my moms and another cat (maeve) and a dog (freddie) at my dads! theyre all doing well, each being a bastard in their own way. freddie likes to play, but shes not very well trained yet so she bites. were working on it!

ive been doing. meh? ive been struggling ever since my grandfather passed away in early may, and other life circumstances have been weighing on me. im doing my best to manage, though rest assured, this blog isnt taxing enough to affect my mental state. i wouldnt be running it if i wasnt able to handle it.

thank you again, the thought youve put into this is very touching. i hope youre doing well and hanging in there yourself. please take care and stay safe ♥

[01010010-posts]

— my white sighs quietly melted with the stars above.

it all started with a simple ‘you’re a slowpoke??’ text and it should have ended there, really, but you got a reply immediately after. ‘I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong person’. absolutely no, you scoffed, as if you were going to be tricked again ‘bitch don’t play the wrong number card because you didn’t catch the bus’. he was amused by your obstinacy and lightly worried about the supposed receiver, who, it appeared, was very clumsy; ‘please, control the number you texted, I’m Connor.’ boy he sure was. not your pal, not someone else in your contact list, just.... Connor. ‘god, i apologize!! thank you for telling me! ps. didn’t mean to call you a bitch, connor’ and it should have ended there, really, but you got a reply. connor: shouldn’t you be in bed by now? you: but,,,, i wanted to chat with u a little more connor: as an android sleep is not required but you, as a human, need to rest. we can always continue talking tomorrow. you: :( what if you have a long case tomorrow?? mh?? what if?? what you’re gonna say in your defense then?? connor: don’t worry :) I’ll find time for you. you: ok you win goodnight ☆ connor: sweet dreams. goodnight, [name]. it’s been three months since you’ve first spoken with him. intimacy there but low, how obvious it is that the two of you are proceeding with caution. yet you can’t help but write to him every day, staying up late while waiting for an answer of his, often checking your mobile and getting unsettled when there’s no signal. it’s strange, your colleagues whisper, how can you be so attached to someone if you’ve never even seen him? of course, you know it. you don’t wish for a pretty face, you only wish for a pretty personality. with a heavy sigh and a loud poof you pull the white duvet up to your head, finding comfort by completely hiding inside the warm embrace. you tightly hug a pillow, pretending that it’s him, returning your affection and cuddling, maybe caressing you too inasmuch, as he said, ‘androids don’t need to sleep’. but is it bad to fantasise? you: I’m deeply sorry.... sweetheart: >:( you: [name], it’s the seventh text-made emoji you’ve sent me.... they expressed some sort of anger so I’d prefer if we discussed about whatever is bothering you. sweetheart: >:(( you: I’m begging you.... sweetheart: you’re grounded and your punishment is enduring the wrath of weird angery text-based emoji :< you: what did I do to deserve this? :’( sweetheart: i sent you a heart & you didn’t send it back to me you: gosh! how clumsy of me! could you ever forgive this fool? sweetheart: mhhh it depends. what are you willing to do to be pardoned? you: I’ll send you whatever heart I possess! 💕💖💗💖 sweetheart: THIS IS UNFAIR!!! he’s silently giggling all by himself, in the cold room lit by his blue led circling at a steady rhythm– no, it’s not the temperature, rather it’s the atmosphere; ‘cold’. he’s still grappling with emotions and developing tastes is– well, to put it simply, complicated. he’s heartened with the fact that you once said, at the sight of a photo of his bed and the corner within, that being minimalistic is a style too. though, possibly, his true self is one of a clutterer of knick-knacks. of course, he’d like you to help him pick what ornaments would suit him the best. you: wtf i dont believe it connor♡ : but it does! you: prove it MIKU HATSUNE connor♡ : listen here human it’s not my fault you haven’t got the chance to witness an android external fluid deactivating you: !!!!! are you bragging?? connor♡ : ahahaha I’m joking it’s sending a video right now you watch ecstatically as soon as the app downloads the file, your chest throbbing with pleasurable anxiety. how can it be? he’s kind, precious AND fucking handsome, skin or no skin. you bet bad things will happen to you today to balance this sheer luck. think it thoroughly, it’s actually the first time you see his face. you: u’r cute also how does your hair work man connor♡ : thank you :) it’s connected to my head so.... you: i get it cybernetic magic your secrets are safe with me connor♡ : ahahaha and I was concerning myself about disgusting you you: WHAT fuck no you’re done that way, ok, it’s cool ok? kept it in mind are you allowed to insert ♡ near his name and not tell him? you: I’m waiting!! :/ sweetheart: so needy you: come on, [name]! sweetheart: tru tho you: >audio file cooome ooooonn sweetheart: !!! im ready pick up idiot the monitor lits and here you are, gorgeous. he’s certain that his heart melted on the spot. such is the sensation you give him every time you send him a photo, his thirium pump skipping a beat and making him inevitably somewhat gasping for air, mouth barely closed. he’s not accustomed to all the new features deviancy brought but in this he’s confident, he’s head over heels in love with you. you: what?? you’ve already seen the movie?? love♡ : yeah! I went with Hank! it was very nice, you should see it too you: WELL id kill to (please don’t arrest me detective) but nobody wants,,,, love♡ : why is that? (I won’t arrest you if you behave) you: something along the lines of not their genre or some shit uff (seems sketchy) love♡ : what about going alone? (it isn’t!!) you: it would be too sad :’(  love♡ : I’m sorry to hear that, if I could be there I’d accompany you and wouldn’t mind seeing it a second time. you: yes i know.... what is it? six months? more? you hardly remember, having so many messages in here, it would be too difficult to keep track, though you’re positive, that if you asked him he’d tell you in an instant, since he’s so attentive with that little brain-computer of his. you close your lids, tapping your fingers on the desk, it’s wearing, you must admit. you like him, a lot at this point, but being so far and out of reach.... what can come out of this? friends don’t support you either, ignoring this blatant crush, trying to make you hook-up with people met at a bar, getting annoyed at you constantly texting, preaching that a long distance relationship is not worth your time and your effort, and it’s not even a relationship, isn’t it? you’re not on that level. you’re just weirdos keeping themselves company. bummed out a bit, you decide that maybe avoiding him for a couple of days might be a proper solution. will he feel your absence? will he miss you? you: is everything all right? sweetheart: yes. you: are you sure? sweetheart: yep im,,,, swamped with work, the drill you: that I understand but perhaps I did something wrong? sweetheart: ?? you: you’ve been acting kinda cold lately, and if I’m the cause of that I’m sorry. being a deviant is good sometimes, and sometimes is not. it was great until a while ago so why now.... now....? he feels so lost. it’s understandable to have a job and a life outside this bond but– but is it really? is it okay for you to be without him? you’d manage fine. mhh no– the real question is: is it okay for him to be without you? can he be without sending you a text at least once a day? can he be without hearing your voice at least once a week? can he be without your usual video calls at least twice a month? can he be without seeing you, over a screen, cooking your dinner and singing? can he be? can he exist without you? he’s.... starting to doubt that. sweetheart: no i’m i’m the one whos sorry, okay? we can call tomorrow you: I don’t want to press you into anything you don’t want to sweetheart: you’re not! i’ll make up for not having been so present! you sigh, suffocating yourself on the pillow, how can you be this dense? this stupid? this utter moronic?? unequivocally he was going to worry. you made him worry. fuck. you’re going to trust your guts, no dumb jokes, it’s obvious that you both care about the other and can’t stay apart for too long. you: i know it’s 3AM and you told me to not be awake but i cant i cant okay? im thinking of you and me and you and it began because im a mess so it shouldnt be a surprise i havent gotten better this past year has been.... the best. yeah i fucked up and tried to be distant, to see if sth would change but it didnt i love waking up and finding a text from you, i love the sound of your voice trying to lull me goodnight when im being a spoiled child, i love how you’re so gentle & how you always forgive me and mostly i love you not as a friend, definitely as more, definitely like a lover and i know that you’re so caring that you’ll probably still want to talk with me even if the affection’s not mutual you lock your phone’s screen and place it on the nightstand. the orange light from the streets seeping through the curtains and soaking your covers, and now that your eyes are free to roam, it’s easier to notice the soft feathers’ filling making tiny shadows on your face. poor poor geese. your fingertips slightly touch the stitches, your heartbeat pacing furiously from the strong emotions, both trepidation and fear running your veins. what if he doesn’t feel the same? what if he’s been polite this whole time and you overstepped his boundaries? what if? love♡ is typing.... ping! love♡ : I love you too, honey. but please, don’t scare me again, I think I lost four biocomponents when you suddenly stopped replying to me. also you should sleep. you: im pouring my heart out ugly crying and!!!! you’re too casual nooo it’s no big deal baby we just fucking love each other it’s totally ok incoming call from love ♡ “hey....” his tone slow and almost drowsy “i thought it was clear enough.” words rolling off his tongue, the same that he’d tenderly run across you, kissing, tasting, worshipping your body “i hate you.” you sniffle and there’s a chuckle on the different end “i love you.” you smile, wiping off the tears wetting your cheeks with the back of your right hand “i love you too.”

[1112lw]

Every question!!

SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS

LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO

1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!

2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess

3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark

4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that

5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀

6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general

7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so 

8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale

9: My best first date: :))))))) as if

10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4

11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig

12: What time were I born: 12:19

13: Favourite color: pink!

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”

16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too

17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol

18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont

19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO

20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh

21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s 

22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special

23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk

24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels

25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety

26: Meaning behind my URL:

27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD

28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)

29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh

30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry

31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily

32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)

33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired

34: Favourite holiday:

35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it

36: Tattoos and piercings I want:

37: The reason I joined Tumblr:

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no

41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months

44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears 

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah

48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always

50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh

51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so 

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so 

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb 

54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend

56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7

57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?

58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind

60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so 

63: Do I believe in magic? i think!

64: Do I believe in luck? yeah

65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!

66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic

68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget 

70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter

73: Favourite animal? cats or otters

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀

77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh

79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked 

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE

82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”

85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO

86: Had sex? no

87: Bought condoms? no

88: Gotten pregnant? NO

89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year

90: Kissed a boy? :(((

91: Kissed a girl? no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

93: Had job? I have a job rn so 

94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school

95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?

96: Had sex in public? virgin squad

97: Played on a sports team? yeah

98: Smoked weed? no ew

99: Did drugs? no ew

100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW

101: Drank alcohol? yep 

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die

103: Been overweight? i’m twig

104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small

105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?

108: Been outside my home country? ONCE

109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !

110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!

111: Broken a bone? no

112: Cut myself? not technically 

113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD

114: Been in airplane? once

115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch

116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty

118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now

119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way

121: Had oral sex? as if 

122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh

123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY 

124: Rode in an ambulance? nope

125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old 

126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small

127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?

128: Peed outside? yes

129: Been fishing? YES

130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so 

131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly

132: Broken a mirror? no 

133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly

135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit

136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!

137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels

138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that

139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal 

140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!

141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee 

142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,

143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot

144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all

147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed

148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school 

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition

151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care

152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official​ @ace-landofthesun​ @dorkalisious​ and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls

153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !

ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye

[starrysence]

Javid headcanons? Ps I love your writing!!

oooooo javid havent written for these boys in a WHILE. and thank you anon!!! thats really sweet of you to say !! :)

●ok guys you should know i love dad friend jack kelly with all my heart. he just seems like he'd be so great w/ all the boys y'know???▪this boy is an absolute disaster when it comes to taking care of himself tho▪at 4am davey is just straight-up concerned "jack why arent you asleep yet"▪"sorry i was about to go to sleep but one of the kids had a nightmare"▪also hes literally ready to Fight anyone who even looks at one of the boys the wrong way●modern day jack babysits You Cant Change My Mind▪hear me out tho davey's parents know medda and medda 100% recommends jack as a babysitter if they ever need one ▪and sometimes davey is tutoring kids so they do have jack babysit les (whos very stubborn at first bc "im responsible!!!! i dont need no babysitter!!" but warms up to jack rlly quickly)▪one time davey comes home early and sees les and jack howling with laughter over lord knows what and his heart just kinda??? "ashdbchzjs" y'know?▪"oh hey dave les was just telling me about that time you tripped in the band room and fell into a bass drum"▪"he was telling you WHAT"●the generic snow hc all of u shouldve seen coming: jack loves the snow and everything but davey Does Not▪probably bc davey gets sick so easily in the winter ▪he has to admit tho,, jack looks gorgeous in the snow (buckle up its gettin gay)▪sometimes he'll really just be staring at jack and jack doesnt? realise??? for the longest time?▪but then davey decides to throw a snowball at him and shit gets WILD▪theyre both shuddering by the time they get back inside but it was worth it ● yall these two absolutely love movie nights▪disney movies tho?? and cheesy rom coms??? yes. sign them UP▪they almost never get through the movie tho bc they always end up making out oops▪but sometimes they REALLY want to watch the movie and get through it and so they go full out▪BLANKETS and FOOD▪oh my god theres so much food●jack is like? a really physical person?? hes literally never afraid to make physical contact with anybody its basically a natural reflex for him▪davey discovers this when they start hanging out▪jack is like?? always touching daveys arm or tracing shapes somewhere on his body or resting his head on davey's shoulder▪davey knows its nothing big to jack but it always makes him blush so hard hes so mad at himself for it▪jack is such an idiot it takes him MONTHS to notice▪even when he does▪"???? dave ur face is really red are you okay?"▪davey is about to burst bc jack is SUCH an idiot but also? cute?? so cute ●whenever davey is sick jack is at his side basically 24/7▪"jackie its a cold not a 100-degree fever"▪"shhhhhh lemme take care of you"▪he'll give davey like every blanket he can find and make him soup and everything ▪davey honestly thinks its unnecessary but sweet▪jack thinks it is totally necessary and simply a way to show that hes a Good Boyfriend (like davey didnt know that already ,,,,)●jack uses a lot of pet names??? it drives davey wild▪"baby" he loses his mind▪"sugar" his heart bursts▪"sweetheart" hes dying ▪even when jack is just tired and calls him "dave" hes practically swooning▪it takes jack so long to realise but he ABSOLUTELY uses it to his advantage once he does lmao▪you uh.... interpret that last part however you want to●sometimes they have really intense arguments over fairly small things▪like one time jack hurt himself really bad in the kitchen on accident and kept trying to tell davey he could clean himself up▪he ended up having to yell rlly loud to get his point across??▪and they couldnt talk to each other a little while after that ▪maybe like a half hour?? but they made up●les jacobs is the ultimate wingman bitches▪ok literally one time when jack is babysitting hes like "you really like my brother a lot dont you??"▪theyre like watching a movie and eating snacks and jack nearly chokes▪"w ha t"▪"its ok he likes you too, you guys should go on a date sometime"▪"W H A T"▪needless to say davey is VERY confused when he comes home to les looking smug as heck and jack staring at him w/ wide eyes●DAVEY PROPOSES SHHH▪its around their 5th or 6th anniversary?? and jack os like "i think it would be really nice to be a jacobs one day"▪was it a hint? was it not? davey didnt know for sure but he decided to take it as one since theyre literally like a month away from their anniversary lol▪so its really sweet???? davey does manage to get his whole lil speech out without crying so much he has to stop▪but lets be real theyre both in tears by the time jack says yes

×××

i really.. dont know how i feel about these and im sorry if they suck )): its been a weird week lol

-sanj 💕

tag list:

@but-let-us-seize-the-day​

@one-candy-cane-please​

@suddenly-im-respecsable​

@intoomanyfandomstopickaname​

@be-more-chill-evan-hansen​

@aw-jus-let-em-try

@bencookisagod​

@well-the-kids-do-too​

@auspicioustarantula​

@spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn​

@have-we-got-news-for-you​

@not-a-scab​

@newsiesgarbage​

@pineappapizza

@andthewoildwillknow​

@concrete--donuts​

@stopthe-presses​

@thomasbeingthomas

@i-love-loki-and-sherlock

@maxvanna

@spot-me50-papes

[if you want to be added to my tag list, please shoot me an ask or a message letting me know! i’d be happy to add you!]

[cosmichoneyedblossoms]

White Sands

MERMAN Shownu X Reader

Genre: Fluffy

Word Count: 2,894

A/N: Okay, so, not gunna lie, this one was hard to write, but also fun! Thank you @xkpopobsessedx for helping me create ideas for this cutie! Anyway, I hope y’all enjoy!

Day One: 8:00 PM

“It’s been so long since we’ve been on a vacation together. What’s it been like, five years?”

“Mmm...” I hummed, scrolling through my phone. My mother tapped my leg, my eyes dragging up to see her face, “What?”

“Put your phone away. We’re going on this trip to get you out of your funk since that stupid boy broke your heart.”

“Can we not talk about Dean, please...” I asked, turning my head to look out the window.

“This four day get away at the beach should help you.”

“Yeah, because the ocean and sand can help me get rid of my depression...” 

“Don’t be like that, Y/N...” She whispered and I tuned her voice out as I watched the trees turn into beaches, tan sands fading almost to white due to the season change. The water soaking in the still warm air and bright sun, resting upon the shore line waiting to cover someone’s feet; I bet it’s starting to get cold, not like we’ll probably swim anyway. 

“We’re here.” We pulled up to a house that sat on the beach. The siding of the house colored a cerulean blue, fashioned with dark wood steps leading up to the door; even though the house was weathered, it still held some beauty. We stepped out of the car, pulling our luggage from the trunk, and then made our way up to the door. My mother opened the deep red door and we were greeted by the squeals of my older sisters, Anessa and Samantha.

“So glad you guys could finally make it.” Anessa took our mother’s luggage from her, sliding it over to the side of the couch.

“I’m sorry, girls. There was so much traffic on the highway.”

“No surprise there.” Sam grunted from the couch.

“Sorry to interrupt, but will you show me to my room, please?” I asked, Anessa skimmed over me, placing her hands on her hips.

“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. I think the last time I saw you was at Christmas dinner with De—”

“All right, all right, let’s not pester, Y/N. She’s had a long week. Sam, honey, show her to her room, please.”

“Ah, okay, mom.” Sam replied, getting up from the couch. I followed her down the hall to the last room on the left and she opened the door, “Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

“Mmm...” I nodded and walked into the blinding room. Pale blue painted walls, dark wood flooring, driftwood colored furniture, white bedding, and a window seat facing the ocean.

Cute...

I opened my bag, unpacked my clothes into the dresser, then closed the curtains over the windows, and finally laid down on the bed, resting my eyes.

Day Two: 4:00 AM

I opened my eyes to a dark bedroom, the sound of the ocean waves seeping into the room.

How long have I been out?

I pulled my phone from under the pillow, the screen lighting up to show 4:02 on the clock. I laid my phone down, turning on the lamp on the side table, then getting up to pull a sweater from the dresser. I tugged it on, slipping on my shoes, and stepping out of the bedroom into the dim hallway. I padded my way across the floor into the dining room, sliding the glass balcony door open, letting the sea salt tainted air kiss my face. I closed the door behind me and walked down the balcony stairs, down into the sand. The sound of the waves crashing soothed my numb mind, my body being pulled closer to the shore; I sat down close to the water, watching it roll in and drift back out, when something moving through the water caught my eye.

A person swimming at this time of night?

I watched the body move closer and closer until I could make out his features in the moonlight— shaggy dark brown hair, soft cheek bones, but killer jaw line, thick lips, and sharp eyes.

Wow, he’s gorgeous...

He came closer until his body rested on the shore, everything but his head still under the water, “Hey...”

Is he talking to me?

I looked around, searching for someone else he could be talking to when he spoke again, “Who are you looking for?”

“I was making sure you were actually talking to me.” I confessed, tugging at the sleeves of my sweater. His eyes wrinkled as a beaming smile appeared on his lips.

“What is a beautiful girl like you doing out here in the middle of the night?”

“I could ask you the same thing. Isn’t the water cold?” I asked, moving closer to him, the water starting to touch my feet.

“Not really. I live in the water so it doesn’t really effect me.”

“Ah, you mean you’re always coming out to swim—”

“No...” The water splashed behind him and I leaned to the side, the dark red color coming into focus, “I’m a merman.” I got up to my feet, traipsing into the water, the iciness making me hiss, but I needed to make sure he wasn’t playing around with me, I needed to see if he was telling the truth.

“I thought mermaids and mermen were just old sailors tales, not real life...?” I questioned as he turned over, sitting on the ocean floor, his waist submerged under the water.

“We stay hidden for our safety.” He lifted his tail, the deep red iridescent scales glittering under the moonlight.

“What a shame, you’re a beautiful creature...” I ran my hand over his scales, his tail twitching at my touch. I flicked my eyes up to his face, his cheeks ruddied and his bottom lip caught between his teeth, “I’m sorry, I touched you without even asking,”

“No, no, that’s okay. I was just shocked you actually came out into the cold ocean to touch me.” He teased, his wet locks fell onto his forehead as he lifted his hand, “I haven’t introduced myself yet, I’m Hyunwoo, but you can call me Shownu.”

“Oh,” I took his hand into my own, shaking it, “I’m Y/N.”

“A beautiful name for someone like you.” My cheeks burned at his statement, his chestnut eyes stared into mine, his hand pulling me close, “Y/N...” My name bubbled from his lips, his voice hypnotizing me, “I’m sorry, but the sun is starting to come up, so I must take my leave.”

“Oh...” I turned towards the horizon, hints of pinks starting to tint the sky, “Has it really been that long?”

He grunted to my question, “Can I see you tomorrow night, well I should say tonight?”

“Of course you can, if you want to.” A smile spread over his lips, his teeth peeking through his lips.

“Lovely. Meet here at midnight?”

I nodded, biting my lip.

“I’ll see you tonight, Y/N.” Shownu swam out into the ocean, soon diving down and disappearing.

Day Three: 12:00 am

“You came, Y/N.” Shownu laid against the shore, just as he did the night before.

“Did you think I wouldn’t?”

Shownu pondered my question then shrugged, “I wasn’t sure, but I’m glad you did.”

“I actually came prepared this time, too.”

“What do you mean by that?” He asked as I pulled off my sweater, Shownu clearing his throat, “Y/N, what’re you doing?”

“Taking off my clothes, so I can get in the water in my bathing suit and keep my street clothes clean and dry.” I laughed, seeing his cheeks flush.

“I thought you were—”

“Oh, I know what you thought.” I teased, tossing my shorts with my sweater away from the shore and stepping into the water, taking a seat next to him. He cleared his throat once more, scooting closer to me, peering into my face.

“Y/N?” 

“Yes?”

“Has anyone ever told you that you have the prettiest eyes? Especially in the moonlight?”

I laughed a bit, nudging him, “Has anyone ever told you that you’re such a flirt?” Shownu let out a chuckle leaning into me, sighing comfortably, “I do have a question for you, Shownu.”

“And I have an answer for you... probably.”

“If staying hidden was to keep you safe, why did you show yourself to me?”

“Hmm... that’s a good question...” He flicked his tail up, sucking his teeth, “Since I was a child, I could always tell when someone needed something. May it be an ear or someone to lean on, I could just feel it in my bones and seeing you last night, I could tell something was wrong, but I didn’t need to ask since it’s none of my business...” He paused for a moment, his hand ghosting over my fingers, “I’m here for you, whatever you need, Y/N.” I looked at him, his eyes catching mine.

“Shownu...” I felt a blush start to prickle at my cheeks and I looked down at my lap, soon his warm wet fingers brushed strands of hair behind my ear, “Tomorrow is my last night here so, I wouldn’t get too attached to me.”

“I’m not going to worry about that right now. I’ll make the moments you spend with me memorable, to where you won’t forget me or want to leave me.”

“Not like I could forget meeting a merman.” I breathed, moving out into the water.

“Oh, would you like me to leave then?” He huffed, moving out into the water with me.

“No!” I exclaimed and Shownu snorted, trying to stifle a laugh, “Don’t be mean.” I splashed water at him and he chuckled.

“Oh, now it’s on.” He hissed, playfully pulling me to him, his fingers poking at my sides making me squirm and giggle under his touch. I struggled to get away from him, but his hands ceased their attack and held me close to him, his warmth spreading through my back.

“Is this where you kill me?” I joked, a laugh leaving him. 

“If I wanted to kill you, I would’ve already.” I rested my head against his chest, watching the moon ripple on the water. 

“The more time I spend out here in the water, the more I feel myself wanting to stay. For a change of scenery, to get away from my home, away from the memories that linger in that town...” I ran my fingers over Shownu’s arm, his grip tightening.

“Then why don’t you stay?”

“There’s just things I have to return to... work, school... life in general. I rather spend my time here, with you, soaking up the moonlight and avoiding stress.”

“Stress? Why are you so stressed?”

“It’s a long story.”

“We’ve got three more hours until daylight, so we’ve got time.” 

“Well...” I went into deep detail of my life for the past few months since my break up with my ex and about how I’ve been dealing with it. Every once in a while Shownu would ask a question and then fall silent again; once I finished my life story, Shownu rested his head in the nook of my neck.

“I wish you never had to go through that, Y/N... You’re such a sweet girl. If I were human, I would keep you by my side forever.” He whispered, placing a gentle kiss on my shoulder.

“You’re too kind, Shownu... We just met and I feel like I’ve known you for forever.” I relaxed into him, sighing a bit, noticing the break of daylight leaking out onto the water, “Time to go, Shownu...”

“Just a few more minutes, please.” Shownu tightened his grip on me, burying his face into my damp hair.

“Just a few, I don’t want you getting caught.” Shownu lifted his head, turning it in close to my cheek, his lips grazing against my skin.

“Alright.” Shownu held me close for a few more moments, short silent moments, before he let me go and placed a soft kiss against my cheek, “Midnight, my dear.”

“Deal.” I smiled, watching him dive down, and disappear.

Day Four: 12:00am

I sat down on the cold sand in jeans and a thick sweater, the sea salt breeze starting to get colder every night. I watched the water ripple, waiting for Shownu to appear. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I rested my head on them, my eyes getting heavy. I dug my phone from my pocket, looking at the clock that read 12:10.

Maybe he got caught up with something... He knows it’s our last night...

I hugged my legs, burying my face into my sweater to fight off the cold breeze, closing my eyes.

“Y/N...” A gentle voice called out, rousing me from my sleep. I pulled my head up for the bright sunlight to blind me.

It’s morning?

I rubbed my eyes, blinking them a few times before trying to focus on anything around me.

He didn’t show...

Warmth spread over the top of my head, causing me to look up, a shadow looming over me, “I’m sorry it took me so long, Y/N, but I’m here now...” Shownu’s voice met my ears and I smiled.

“That’s funny... you sound like—” The shadow crouched down, my eyes focusing on the voice’s face, Shownu’s features coming into focus.

“It is me, dork.” He whispered and I looked him up and down, no tail, but human legs covered by the blanket I brought out.

“Shownu?!” I squealed, jumping from the sand to face him, “H-How is this possible?” I studdered, trying to take in his body. He stood, a little wobbly on his feet.

“When my father passed, he knew I was not meant for the sea, he gave me an elixir saying that it could make one sprout legs to walk the earth. I thought it was all a joke so I didn’t mess with it, but then I met you and I needed to at least try to see if it was real... and now...” He chuckled, “I’m here, in front of you, naked...”

“Oh shit, Shownu, let’s get you inside.” I took his hand, tugging him up to the balcony, “When did you get here? How long did you let me sleep?” I walked up the stairs and then I pushed open the sliding door to be met by my mother’s and my sister’s stares.

“Y/N? Who is the naked—”

“No time to explain, mom. Anessa, do you still have some of your husbands old clothes that don’t fit him anymore?” They stared at me then skimmed over Shownu, him shyly lifting his hand, waving— them not moving, “Y’all!” I yelled, Anessa rushing to her room.

“Let me go draw a bath for him, you must be freezing, dear.” My mother looked over him once more before going to the bathroom. Sam just sat there, ogling him, her mouth slightly ajar.

“Sam, go do something with yourself...” I growled, pulling Shownu over to the bathroom, my mother sliding out to let us through. I closed the door behind us and I sighed leaning against the counter, “They’re going to be the death of me...”

“They seem nice.”

“They can be, until they see a gorgeous man walk through the door.” Shownu chuckled at my words, “Alright, merman, get into the bath.” He looked at me and then at the bathtub.

“The what?”

“The bath...” I pointed at the tub and he shrugged his shoulders, starting to get into the bathtub with the blanket wrapped around his waist, “Oh, hold on...” I took the blanket into my hands, closing my eyes, pulling it from his body.

“Can I not get that wet?”

“I mean you could, but the bath is to wash you.”

“Wash me?” I opened my eyes to be met with his confused gaze.

“Yes, wash you. Now sit.” He sat down at my words.

“It’s hot.”

“Yup, that’s how it’s supposed to be.” I took the cup that was on the side of the tub and dipped it into the water, then pouring it over his hair. I grabbed the bottle of shampoo and he cocked his head to the side.

“What’s that?”

“Shampoo, it’s to wash your hair.” I opened the cap and squirted the thick liquid into my hand and rubbed it into his hair, creating a thick lather, and then pouring the water through his hair once more to rise it out. I grabbed another bottle and handed it to him, “Okay so this is body wash, you take this...” I grabbed a washcloth from the rack over the toilet and handed it to him, “Soak that in the water and add some of the body wash to the cloth and clean your body. I’m going to go get the clothes from Anessa.”

“Mmm.” He nodded his head and I left the bathroom, Anessa, Sam, and my mother looking at me.

“What?”

“Who is that man?” Sam crossed her arms, huffing.

I laughed a little, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, just think of him as my new companion... Anessa, those clothes?”

“Ah.” She handed me a stack of clothes and I smiled, “When we get home, I’ll send these back.”

“Just keep them. They’re too big for him anyway.”

“Thanks.” I turned back and walked into the bathroom to see Shownu standing outside of the tub, a towel wrapped around his waist, “Oh, you’re done?”

“I think so.” 

“Well, c’mon, let’s go get you dressed.” I opened the door once again, starting to walk out when Shownu’s hand gripped onto the fabric of my sweater, following closely behind me.

Shownu sat on my bed, clothed in a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, his eyes roaming the bedroom. I dug in one of the dresser drawers, pulling out another towel and I walked over in front of him, “Your hair is still wet, you’re going to get a cold, goofy.” I gently rubbed his hair, drying the dripping ends, his hands wrapping around my waist.

“Is this what it would be like everyday with you?” He nuzzled his face into my chest, my cheeks burning at the feeling of his warmth radiating through my body.

“Shownu, why did you change?”

Not missing a beat, he spoke, “Because I found someone I couldn’t live in the water with, so I changed...” He gazed up at me, his unwavering chestnut eyes looking into my soul, “So I could be with you.” 

[starsandwriting]

Ooh this looks fun!

I was 16. Literally just found out about it last year in quarantine. Was going through the actuallyautistic tag fpt the first time, cause i was bored and curious, and well well well

I honestly dont know. Its not like any of these people have ever thought about visiting a psychiatrist. I think my nani might be autistic?

Pfft yeah. ADHD and OCD and cpstd and synesthesia. Other conditions too but idk if they're comorbid with autism

Boy i sure am!

I wish people just...knew whay autism actually is. Like, i wish allistics knew that most of them have completely incorrect ideas of what autism means

Nope! Im aroace

Aw yeh, dont get me started. Im suck at being a person

Currently i dont think i have any special interests. But the last one i had was learning languages

Ooh i dont think i remember my first, but the furthest can remember is percy jackson

Oh! Rocking back and forth, jumping around (just. Always jumping around...), throwing things in the air and then catching them. As yoi can maybe tell, i get in a lot of trouble for my stims

Please look up what neurodivergent means. I promise you're not stupid or incompetent, stop listening to your parents. Yes, really. And you're not a bad person for disliking your relatives. Just trust yourself.

Jonathan sims my beloved. He's just,,so bad at being a person and connecting and communicating with others. And is always getting misunderstood. And he infodumped about emulsifiers at a coworkers birthday party. Rat bastard, i love him sm.

Hhh there's not any one person i look upto? But the community as a whole is so comforting and supportive.

Yeah! It's my last year of high school, good riddance

Lol no

Quite a few of my online friends turned out to be autistic! That was lovely

I just ordered my first stim toys as a rakshabandhan gift :) they're not here yetbut I've ordered a gell stress ball, a push pop, and squishy mochis. Really looking forward to them<3

Oh definately. Its infinitely easier and better than trying to get alomg with allistics, especially nts

That lining on socks ughh. Also clothes tags. And lislise food bleh. JEANS. oh god i hate jeans so much. Any kinda cloth that clings to my skin is so ajsjnsmskam(derogatory)

Heavy things! And uuh ok im having a lot more trouble describing this. Ooh silk! And clay and water and non sticky things, like reeealy smooth things, and things that are extremely soft to touch and crackling sounds and more

Online im very open about being autistic, but irl not really. I mean i discovered this in quarantine and we're still stuck in quarantine but still i think i might start being more open about it irl once i go off to college. I really want to unlearn all the internalized shame and start being openly autistic in front of others.

Yeah! Man being autistic is so much fun and i wouldnt give it up for anything

I dont know

Nope, too traumatized for meltdowns

Oh yeah i usually have shutdowns, and they include going non verbal, and ughh i hate when it happens around my relatives caude they always make it so much worse.

Uh huh. Eye contact sucks man. I dont have much difficulty around people im comfortable with but with everyone else i just look to the side or above their head, or my eyes become unfocused.

Hmm i think my vocal stims keep changing. I havent given it much thought.

At least a month I'd say

Lol NO (i wish they were..) my brother is tho! i mean, he doesnt know its autism but he doesnt mind my autistic traits and jist rolls with it

I dont really know any canon aitistic characters.

Oh yeah! My comfort items are my amulets. They've been with me since i was a kid, and their constant presence is always such a comfort. It includes the red nala around my right wrist and the pendant around my throat. My mom told me that im old enough to take off the pendant now, or have it made into a ring, but nah. I've grown way too attached to it. Plus the newest addition, my ace ring!

Butter chicken and butter naan. Literally the same order every time we go out to eat.

Ughh i hate urhar ki daal. Any kind of yellow daal makes me wanna throw up. Rice isnt any better

Hugs from people i trust are great (although there isnt actually anyone yet whom i trust, so it's more of a hypothesis still) but otherwise uhhh dont touch me

BESTIE I WANT ONE. SO BAD.

Yup my daily routine. I get up, i walk around, i go to the bathroom, i drink water, i check my phone, i attend class, etc etc.

Holidays aren't a sensory hell, its my relatives who are.

In movies, books, or people i know? I can understand sarcasm and metaphors and all that just fine. If its someone im not comfortable with, my brain stops working and i take everything literally

Our school winter tracksuit *chefs kiss*. Ooh the winter blazer too. I adore the winter uniform honestly.

Hm idk

I dont date

I really dont know how to aswer the questions about special interests😭

Idk m'dude

I dont really know anyone

Dont know!

Oh im very quiet

I had repressed my dtimming for years but hopefully now that I've started accepting my autism, I'll start happy flapping too!

Ooh i have a mini french to english translation dictionary. Its very cute.

Just. Socializing is so impossibly hard. I dont even wanna try.

Ooh ask anything? What are some autism related things i can buy that aren't stim toys?

Autism ask meme

Here's an ask meme specifically for autistic people

How old were you when you found out you were autistic?

Do you have any other autistic people in your family? Or are you the only one?

Do you have any comorbidities? Or just autism?

Are you LGBTQIA+?

What do you wish more people knew about autism?

Have you ever been in a relationship?

Do you find it hard to make friends?

If you have any, what are your special interests?

What was your first special interest?

What are your most common stims?

If you could give any advice to your younger self, what would it be?

Do you headcanon any characters as autistic? If you want, tell us why you headcanon them as autistic.

Tell us an autistic person that you really look up to.

Are you currently in school?

Have you ever received any accommodations for your autism in either school or work?

Do you have any autistic friends?

Do you own any stim toys? Which is your favorite?

Do you find it easier to get along with other autistic people?

What kinds of things are sensory hell for you?

What kinds of things are good sensory wise?

How open are you usually when it comes to being autistic?

Would you say you're proud to be autistic?

What's the longest you've ever has a special interest for?

Do you have meltdowns?

What about shutdowns?

Do you avoid eye contact?

Do you have any vocal stims or echolalia?

How long do your special interests usually last for?

Are your friends and/or family accepting of your autism?

Favorite canon autistic character?

Do you have a comfort item? If you feel comfortable with it, then show it to us.

What are your same foods?

Foods you are sensitive to (maybe because of bad texture for instance)?

Do you enjoy hugs? Or are they sensory hell?

Have you ever used a weighted blanket?

Do you have routines that you have to follow? What's in your routine?

Do you enjoy holidays or are they sensory hell to you?

How good are you at detecting sarcasm?

What's the most comfortable/sensory friendly outfit you own?

Do you collect anything related to your special interest?

If you date people then would you prefer to date other autistic people?

Tell us something about your special interest.

If you could have any item related to your special interest what would it be?

Who are your favorite autistic bloggers? Say something nice about them.

Favorite autistic celebrity?

Are you generally a loud or quiet person?

Do you happy flap?

What is your favorite special interest related item you own? Show it to us if you want.

What's something you find hard to do because of autism?

Free question. Ask anything you want! Any topic at all!

[melonmork]

college jungwoo pt 2

hope it's been enjoyable so far!! part 2 will be a lot more fluffy :~) 🐻💞

college jungwoo part one

from: jungwoo🐻

Wear something you'll be comfy walking around downtown in 😊

~so you stay up later than usual on thursday night, tossing and turning in your bed, thinking about spending tomorrow evening walking around downtown with sweetheart angel boy jungwoo

~and it's all u think about throughout friday, too, during classes and while u eat lunch with friends

~and by the time 6 rolls around, you're already dressed and ready to go, laying on ur bed and trying to get ur mind off of the quick pace of ur heart and the butterflies having a full on rave in ur tummy by scrolling through social media on your phone and texting some friends

~meanwhile jungwoo is kinda freaking out because it's 6:30 and thanks to doyoung, yuta, winwin, yukhei, and kun, jungwoo isnt even dressed yet and his hair is a total mess and he cant even hear himself think over the shrek soundtrack that yukhei is belting the lyrics to while winwin records the whole thing and yuta does interpretive dancing

~kun and doyoung are helpful though, doyoung fusses with jungwoo's hair while he brushes his teeth and kun finds the shirt that jungwoo couldnt find and they manage to get him out of the door looking clean and handsome by 6:50

~it takes about five minues to get to where you two are going to meet up, so he has plenty of time, but he's worried he'll be late so he's speedwalking and he checks the time on his phone five times a minute

~jungwoo makes it to the stairwell with seven minutes to spare and at the same time that he arrives there, u start to leave your room and head there too

~when you get to the top of the stairs, you stop there before going down to meet him and your heart does somersaults again at just the sight of his back

~he's leaning against the railing, hands in his jean pockets and humming along to a distant melody probably coming from the window of someone's nearby dorm, frequently pulling his phone out of his pocket and checking the time, only to return to his humming and gazing out at the campus

~he's waiting for me the thought suddenly occurs to you, making your heart beat faster and ur breath hitch in your throat

~after a minute of watching him, you snap out of ur lil trance and try to act composed and not super nervous and u start walking down the steps to meet him; he hears you and turns around, his face changing from a little surprised to.... fond... the corners of his lips turn up into a gentle smile and his gaze softens as he watches you approach

~and u have no idea but his heart beats so fast watching u because you're smiling and your hair is being rustled slightly by the breeze and the sunlight is illuminating your skin and wow you look like an angel and kim jungwoo is in awe of your beauty

~when u stand beside him and look up at him and say hello, he grins and says hello back and then u two head out, making light conversation and enjoying the lovely evening weather

~the walk to downtown is about 15 minutes, so you have plenty of time to talk about your days and yourselves and you two do a pure lil question game

~and whenever you talk he looks over at you more than he looks ahead of himself and one time he even almost walks into a fire hydrants nad your like juNGWOO u clumsy boy be careful fksjdjjsjxjs

~but it's cause you're so cute n your hair is so pretty being blown around your cute face by the breeze :"-(

~also one time u Swear he intentionally brushes the back of his hand against urs and steals a quick glance at u to see your reaction (he's pleased with it)

~n e ways jungwoo leads u to an italian restaurant and u guys order n jungwoo insists on letting u try his food buT he wont let you feed urself he has to feed it to you 🤧 he even tries to wipe some sauce from the corner of ur mouth but ure like nO i can do it jsjdksjdj but then he just smiles and asks if it tastes good and hes smiling at u with those cute bunny teeth and pretty sparkling eyes and youre like yes youre-I MEAN IT's delicious

~he takes you to street food stalls afterwards and buys u two ice cream (he gets chocolate ice cream. he just seems like a chocolate ice cream kinda boy???) and he Definitely takes a lick of your ice cream and he offers his to u too :"-) this boy would have pretty much no shame hes just too happy thats hes with u to care abt being super polite or anything

~soon it's dark and jungwoo offers you his arm and when you take it he leans close to your ear and says "stay close to me, i'll protect you" and it's SO cheesy and like ... you're surrounded by sweet old couples in food stalls and a few other young couples and theres no one u need protecting from but it still makes ur heart burst and ur face heat up because his breath tickled your neck and it was hot on your ear and u felt urself flush down to ur toes

~u two start walking back to campus, having finished ur ice cream already

~but you're both walking so slow because you want to spend as much time together as possible even though neither of you says anything about that

~your arm is still in his and you're walking so close together and when there's a lull in the conversation, u realize that u dont even know if this is a date or not

~and maybe it's something in the clear night air or maybe it's the way you can feel his eyes lingering on you after you've long looked away but you have a surge of confidence so you ask him

~"jungwoo... are we on a date?" you look down at your feet after asking, a little embarrassed by the question after it manifests into words

~but he doesnt miss a beat, he looks at you, smiling, his eyes soft and his cheeks flushed although you can't tell because it's too dark and he says "if you're okay with it, then yes, i think we are"

~you return his gaze, your heart beating fast and the smile on your face uncontrollable and you nod at him and after that you two walk in a happy, shy silence all the way back to the stairs where you met earlier that evening

~finally, you let go of his arm, but his hand finds yours before your arm is back by your side

~and he takes his time, holding your one hand in both of his, running his thumb on the back of your hand as if he's holding something invaluably precious (he is)

~he smiles down at his hands holding your own hand and as one hand intertwines with yours, his gaze raises and now he's smiling softly at you, seeming to take in your beauty, admiring the shadows of the tree in front of the streetlamp cast upon your cheek, admiring the way your eyes look up at him, expectant and shy and earnest and oh my god you make him weak at the knees

~and he wants to kiss you so bad but he doesnt want to rush it so he sighs and thansk you and tells you he'll see you tomorrow and you two say good night and he walks backwards away from you until your fingertips are all that are still touching, and then he finally turns and goes on his way

~and you're standing at the bottom of those steps, looking up at the moon

~was the moon always so breathtaking? you've always loved her, but tonight she just looks so... divine...

~the next day u and jungwoo go get lunch together and he holds your hand again every time you two are walking :~)

~u run into doyoung on campus again when u guys are just walking around killing time after lunch and doyoung looks at jungwoo like ;^) i see you and jungwoo scrunches his face up at doyoung and then continues to tell you about his two hamsters he had in elementary school

~u and jungwoo see each other almost every day after that and jungwoo's friends are honestly shocked that he's investing so much time into something other than studying,,,, even tho a lot of ur dates are study dates in the library

~this goes on for about a month and u and jungwoo still havent kissed ,,, not even that one time when jungwoo leaned in so close to your face that you could feel the heat of his cheeks on your own for No Reason???? other than maybe to torture u wHat the heck jungwoo????

~until one thursday night when jungwoo texts you

from: jungwoo 🐻🙊💕

come to the park outside the campus library. hurryy

~it's like ,,,, 9:30 PM and you're already in ur sweats and ur hair is wet from ur shower,,,, but it's jungwoo,,, and you're a little worried he's in trouble,,, so u put on ur teddy bear slippers and head out

~and when u get there five minutes later you're kind of oblivious and u cant see him and you dont realize what the big deal is

~until you're standing there for a minute, looking into the grassy park

~ur eyes light up when you notice the fireflies, probably a hundred of them, dancing and twirling and glowing and bumbling through the park, moving this way and that and lighting up, then going dark, over and over again

~you're enchanted. they're beautiful and you cant believe you've not noticed them until now but you cant look away from the magic that's before you

~you wonder how anything could ever amount to the beauty of this moment

~and as you're admiring the scene before you, you feel a tap on your shoulder and you turn around with a start

~jungwoo is standing to your right, his right hand in his pocket and his left hand already beginning to intertwine with your left, his fingertips moving from your palm to trace each of your own fingertips before he lets his fingers lock in between yours

~"it's beautiful" you tell him

~he nods and then it's quiet for a minute and then from the quietness you hear him say "you're so much more beautiful, though." and in a moment he's turned to face you, his right hand moves to rest softly underneath your chin and he leans close to your face, closer than the first time he did this and you know this is it, this is what you've fallen asleep thinking about for a month

~his warm breath heats your already flushed face and his lips just barely brush against your own before he leans back just the tiniest bit

~he leans back in to close the distance, a small smile playing on his lips now and he basks in the pleasure of feeling your skin against his lips as he kisses your cheek

~you smile and laugh a little at how he's drawing it out and making you wait and he laughs too and your noses are touching and you're both smiling

~his hand moves from underneath your chin to gently hold the back of your neck, his thumb resting under your jaw and his fingers slightly brushing against ur hair

~his soft, warm lips press a kiss into the corner of your mouth and finally he presses his lips to yours, moving them slowly and deliberately and softly against your own and in your mind you take back your earlier thought, no amount of beautiful scenery could ever amount to the beauty of this moment, this moment when the boy who walks you a quarter of a mile home from the library every day, the boy who tells you to make a wish when he brushes an eyelash off ur cheek, the boy who remembers ur favorite color from that one time you told him in passing last year in bio lab... this moment when the boy you love kisses you like he's been waiting to do so since forever

~after a moment you start smiling and he kisses your teeth and then he starts smiling and laughing too and you wrap your arms around his shoulders and he moves his face into the crook of your neck and holds you so so close to him and he says "i love you" and you say it back to him, "i love you too"

~that night you two sit down in the grass amongst the fireflies and share kisses and stories and laugh when a firefly lands in jungwoo's hair and you lay back and look at the moon through thin layers of fast moving clouds and talk about how beautiful she is and how she's more beautiful when you're in love...

ahhhhhh i hope u liked it !!! i hope it was cute dkjsjsjs it was fun to write, jungwoo is such a cutie pie my heart was mush while writing part 2 especially :"-) aslo can i just say: jungwoo in scrubs!!!! yes that is all thank u for reading!!! 🌿🐻🍒🌙♥️

[brownsugar-k]

DOS:

>>> After I quit my first job I decided to go corporate. My Abuelita was a founder member of a huge company right now in Ortigas which she sent a recommendation for me to be part of that company. I had an interview and exams yet on my final interview, the Supply Manager been honest with me that they can not hire me because I am lacking experience thus they cannot just relay on the training because corporate world is different from a call center. Well, I went home heart broken but my soul is on fire to have that experience that his telling me. So, I applied to another corporate giant in the south which  is SCMC. Yes, I am part of that mall people but I dont work inside the mall & clap hands once in a while. NOPE -- not that. Anyway, I had an interview in that company which took me a month to get in. I have a lot of interviews and exams then on my final interview, the leasing manager was respectable and she's a SHE so I think I have a chance. When she interviewed me, she was so straighforward on what she needs in an employee and the plus there is that, she can speak spanish too like me. Which I think that was the real reason why I got hired. But yes, I got in. I got hired in a clerk position which means basically, is like a levelled up OJT which you do the errands and all. I was happy in a way because its morning shift and six (6x) a week job so I dont have any complain. After three (3) months I got regularized which is the first in that company to regularized someone in the third (3rd) month because usually the managers promotes their employees by the sixth (6th) month. But I guess my manager really likes me and the way I work. I was happy back then because my colleagues are like my siblings and our manager is our big Mamma hen kinda way. No one can touch us because surely our big Mamma hen will get back at them. She's smart and she know her ways in legal so I learned a lot specially Im a frustrated lawyer. All I can say, that she's good in and out of the office because she treats us differently when were outside which I saw the huge picture of professionalism. I liked her a lot. I look up to her like my new Mumma because she cares about us all which is a homey cozy feeling. Fast-forwarad, I love my job that time because of the people that I am into and the love that we have in our team is replaceable plus the manager like her, means a lot to me; but my pocket is not so happy. I was struggling to make the ends meet with my own expenditures and for the house plus the always banggit of my brother na, "baka pwede makahingi ng ganito, kasi may project kami & etc". Lets be honest for once, I am not born with a silver spoon -- but just a bronze spoon only when my Mumma is still alive, but then when she left us & went home to heaven, I have no choice but to work my ass off for my brother. With this, I didn't mind working still because I love my job because I create contracts and have them sign to big people and I was able to meet them in flesh -- thats the perks of my job that time. I was able to meet Lemon Square (which his younger than me & its just a thesis in DLSU), Cellboy (oooh, the apple of my eyes that time -- so gwapo and bango thats why I love meeting him up), and my fave Mr. Quickmelt aka Mr. Muhlach (yup as in tito ni Aga Muhlach). His my fave because he reminds me of my Abuelo who loves to make kwento and all. I remember the first time I met him, he took my whole afternoon just to sign my contract but I enjoyed his company the most. Also, my super crush the Mary Grace brothers --- when they come to the office everyone in the leasing will definitely turn their heads and will go to my office for chika. Those were the great times I had in that company. And my personal life was so busy as well like almost everynight were out to drink & spend time with each other even we go to work the next day no sleep. Had multiple sleepless nights because my boss wants to go out after work, which is fine by me. But it goes down to I needed money for my brother's expenses in school. Working there is A-OK I mean there are perks and all specially in concerts and VIP club GL's but again, it doesnt make sense anymore that time. And I came to the point that I got fed up & tired of sleepless nights just to please my boss plus I noticed that I smoke & drink a lot again just like in college which is not good. Unfortunately, even if I love the people I work there, I need to leave because I needed more money for my brother. Plus my cousin who is a manager in Makati, asked me to join her team with a good pay and thats the reason why I left. I left my boss with a heavy heart because I really like her and I know have a bright future there but I needed more plausible pay that can support me and my brother who's studying that time. Up to this date, I havent spoke with my boss and frankly, there are times when I pass by the office, I pray to see her by accident so I can caught her up to catch up which never happen. Then, let God decide on that matter.

TAKE AWAY - its ok to drink & spend time with your colleagues after work but not ALL the time. Because spending time with your family is still the best thing to do.

[sadrien]

Do you have any finished stuff you can share with us pretty please? Or long snips???? :D

i looked through my drive and i dont have many things finished. i have about 50 wips, but nothing actually done. 

i do have this chapter of a theater au i started last summer though. (i honestly havent looked at it since then so i apologize for whats probably very questionable writing) i stopped because of how unsure i was about theater in france and wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to write a story with such an inaccurate and americanized portrayal

but here, sans editing, is what wouldve been chapter one of paper stars

[let me know if there are issues opening the read more and ill post on ao3 or something because i know mobile breaks sometimes]

Marinette’s sketchbooks and bags are dumped on the floor, slowly taking over an entire row in the very back of the theater. Nino had asked her if she was moving in, like he doesn’t have a blanket and pillow stored in the light booth.

She doesn’t have to be here, but she’s always liked watching auditions. She doesn’t like having to audition — the thought makes her slightly nauseous — but watching them is always entertaining. It’s fascinating to see how people play their characters when they first audition compared to how they play them opening night. And the song choices sometimes lean towards the more humorous side. She missed the first day of auditions because she had to help out at the bakery and from Nino’s stories, she should’ve been there. Kim auditioned for the part of the fairy godmother, and supposedly, Alix has it on video. Marinette has to see that one.

There are also things that Marinette greatly dislikes about auditions. But at least no one has sang Popular yet this year.

Marinette leaves where she had been sitting with Nino near the front of the auditorium to move back to her stuff. Watching Juleka’s audition gave her sudden inspiration for a costume and she needs to doodle it before it vanishes forever.

It doesn’t matter though, because as soon as she sees the boy holding her sketchbook in his hand, the design is gone from her mind and replaced with frustration. When she sees the ripped out pages on top of it, her mind goes completely red. “Hey!” she snaps. “What do you think you’re doing with that?!” She snatches the sketchbook and pages away from him.

He blinks in surprise. “I—”

Chloé and Sabrina start laughing. Marinette hadn’t even noticed them sitting back here on her way over. She narrows her eyes and puts her hands on her hips. “Oh very funny, nice job, you three.”

The boy looks panicked. Marinette can’t seem to care, he shouldn’t have been going through her stuff. And he definitely shouldn't have been tearing pages from her sketchbook. “No no, I was—”

“Don’t touch other people’s things!” Marinette scoops up her bags as Chloé and Sabrina continue to laugh. She gives the boy a once over. “You’re friends with Chloé, aren’t you?” she asks, unimpressed.

“Yeah, but—”

“Hmph.” Marinette picks up her other sketchbooks. She’ll go back to sitting in the front with Nino. Away from Chloé, away from Sabrina, away from whoever this is.

“Yo, I thought you were gonna go into your zone,” Nino says as she drops down with all of her bags. He eyes her full arms. “Are you leaving?”

“No,” she grumbles. “Just Chloé being Chloé.”

“Did she try to steal your designs again?” Nino asks, voice dangerous.

“She didn’t.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Sabrina?”

“No, a boy had my sketchbook and Chloé was laughing and he had—” She shakes her head and shoves the ripped out pages at Nino. If she keeps talking she’s going to burst into tears and she is not giving Chloé the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

Nino takes the pages from her and twists around his seat. Marinette knows his gaze is sweeping the room and he’s ready to jump out of his seat to fight someone. “Wait hold on,” he taps Marinette’s shoulder, “was it that blond kid who’s sitting next to Chloé and looks a little like he’s going to puke?”

She turns around with a sigh, her eyes immediately landing on the boy. “Yes,” she mutters. “I’ve never even seen him before, but somehow Chloé has her nails inch deep in him already.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t go here,” Nino says softly, as someone steps onto the stage and announces his name. “His name’s Adrien. He’s homeschooled, but him and Chloé are friends. Maybe their families are close or something, I don’t know.”

“Homeschooled?” Marinette whispers back once he’s finished singing and is walking offstage. “Then why is he here? To torment me?”

Nino snorts. “Overdramatic much?”

“This is the drama club,” she points out.

“True. But nah, he auditioned. You would know that if you weren’t half an hour late,” he says pointedly.

“I had to run an errand.” It isn’t really a lie? Saving a cat from a tree could totally count as an errand, right? Ladybug has to save all felines, not just Chat Noir. So she got a little distracted, she really doesn’t have to be here right now. All she’s officially doing is costumes and possibly props and sets if they need any help. Makeup and hair because they always need extra help with those. She loves watching auditions, but now she’s regretting coming. “He auditioned? But I thought you said he was homeschooled?”

“Yeah, he was actually really good. And apparently we’ve got some policy about letting people who don’t have drama programs at their schools to join ours.” Nino shrugs. “The first I’ve heard of it.”

“Probably Chloé’s doing,” Marinette grumbles.

“But he’s a dick?” Nino crosses his arms and sinks back in his seat. “Should’ve guessed it when he walked in with Chloé. Who’s surprised? No one!”

Marinette sighs. “At least she didn’t see any of my designs this time.”

“Uh, well, I mean… Adrien did.”

“So?”

Nino raises his eyebrows and pulls his phone out of his pocket. “Did you not recognize him? Like at all?”

“I mean, he looks a little familiar,” Marinette admits.

“Mar, I honestly thought you were more in the know with this.”

“What do you mean?”

Nino hands her his phone. “Adrien, Adrien Agreste.”

Marinette gasps and takes his phone from him. “The son of my favorite designer?” She turns to look at Adrien again. “Great. Another entitled rich kid.” She flips through the pictures from Adrien’s latest shoot. “Entitled rich child star.”

Nino hums in agreement as the next audition starts.

Marinette debates just dying now. Why wait for tech week when she already has reasons for death? Then she won’t even have to deal with the drama of the cast being announced. She sighs and sinks down into her seat.

Nino ruffles her hair. “Don’t die on me yet, Mari. I can’t deal with Chloé on my own.”

“Fine,” she mutters. “Only for you though.”

She rolls her eyes when Chloé gets up onstage, flipping her hair and taking over the stage with big, large motions. She has the aura of someone who knows they’re good and knows they’ve gotten the part and honestly, it makes Marinette feel a little ill. How confident all of Chloé’s motions are makes her wish she could she could match her. She’s never able to. She can dream.

“Where are all those adoring daring boys?” Chloé sings. “Where's the knight pining so for me…” She looks directly at Adrien and Marinette makes a face.

“Get a room you two,” Nino mutters.

Marinette bites the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing.

Chloé tosses her hair over her shoulder. “Shall I not be on a pedestal, worshipped and competed for?”

“Are we sure this wasn’t written for her?” he asks.

Marinette slaps his shoulder and shushes him.

After Chloé, the rest of auditions goes off without a hitch. Aside from Adrien, Marinette has seen almost everyone who has auditioned before, either in previous musicals or in the school’s winter play a few weeks ago— which had been small and nearly fell apart but they got through it and that was what matters. 

“What do you think?” Nino asks as Marinette packs up and tries to figure out how to minimize all her baggage. 

“I think that the drama this year is going to be ridiculous,” she mutters. “That’s what happens when you have a show with a big lead as opposed to a more equal ensemble.” 

Nino rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah maybe not the smartest choice considering our cast.” 

Marinette gives him a look. “You get to hide out in the light booth. I have to deal with everyone backstage.” 

Nino shakes his head. “Rest in peace, Mar. This is going to be a rough one. I can feel it.” 

Ladybug has decided that she has mixed feelings about patrols in the winter. The rooftops are almost always too icy or snow covered for her and Chat to really be on them, and although their suits keep them fairly warm, her face always feels like it’s beginning to freeze. At the same time, it keeps her from getting cabin fever. It gives her a breath of cold, fresh air. It’s a nice escape. Especially after rough days. Or at least, usually it is.

“What’s wrong?” she asks Chat.

He lifts his chin from his hand in surprise.

“Don’t act surprised, kitty,” she says, bumping their shoulders together. “You’re sulking.”

“I’m not sulking,” he murmurs, turning his gaze out to the city.

Ladybug arches an eyebrow. “You’re something.” In the months she’s known him, she doesn’t think she’s ever seen him so…reserved. So quiet and still. She doesn’t think she likes it very much.

Chat sighs and leans back on his hands. “It has to do with my civilian life, do you really want to know?”

She weighs the pros and cons quickly. “If it’s bothering you, then yes.”

“I just…” He groans. “I had a chance today. I met some new people and I had a chance to make friends and I—” He laughs bitterly. “I majorly screwed up. And they all hate me.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Ladybug says quickly.

Chat runs a hand through his hair. “I did. One person yelled at me because— I mean, she had the right to. But it wasn’t only that. It was one of the people I knew before them, my friend who actually was the reason I was there. I don’t think they like her very much. And…I don’t think they want to give me a chance because of that.”

Ladybug scowls. “That’s bullshit.”

“It’s really not,” he mumbles. “My friend did something today and I… I hadn’t seen that side of her before. Either that or I was too blinded by the fact that she was one of my only friends to notice.”

Ladybugs hums. She can't entirely relate. She's always been surrounded by friends, she's lucky that way. Nino and her have been following each other around since they were in diapers. Even if they’ve only reconnected this year after a few years of barely talking, she’s never been without countless people she could consider her friends. “They shouldn't be judging you solely on your other friends,” she decides.

Chat looks down to his hands. “I know but… Even then, I should have explained myself better today instead of just…letting things happen to me.”

She can't imagine Chat being the type of person not to take action. Is he really so different underneath the mask? “You made a mistake,” she says after a moment. “You just admitted it to me, so admit it to them. And if they're worth your time, they'll understand and forgive you. If not—” She shrugs. “If not, you have me.”

He stares at her, greens eyes wide in surprise. “I do?���

How off guard he is almost hurts her. “Of course you do, kitten,” she promises. “We're partners.”

“Partners,” Chat repeats softly.

“Always.”

Marinette can say callbacks are her favorite part of auditions. The dance auditions can be entertaining and the tensions for callbacks can be terrifyingly high, but there’s something about callbacks that’s just so appealing. The way people grab onto roles and firmly plant their feet in them as if to shout ‘this is me and I’ll prove it to you’. A defiance, a determination to earn the role. To take the role as their own and breathe life into it.

Callbacks are when Marinette can really begin to see a show coming to life. The life will fade out for a few weeks after the cast is announced. The flame flickers and dims. And then the actors will find themselves again and the production will burst into light.

Marinette hates auditioning. She misses it with a burning passion.

She watches Chloé dominate the stage like she does every year. Personally, she thinks that Chloé is a little too…loud and present for the role for Cinderella. She’s missing something soft and gentle. But Marinette and Nino sit hidden in the back — technically they aren’t supposed to be here — and make quiet notes to each other. Chloé is getting the role.

Adrien is…frustratingly good. He’s maybe a little too withdrawn at the moment, he hasn’t entirely figured out how to project properly, but he falls into the role of Prince Topher with such ease that it’s a little unsettling. He so easily plays innocent and naive, unexposed to the world around him. It makes Marinette’s blood boil.   

Both her and Nino are keeping running lists of who they think will get what roles on their phones. Whoever gets the most right has the buy the other Starbucks before rehearsal every Monday. Neither of them even have to be at Monday rehearsals for a while, but neither of them have anything better to do. So they’ll be there with their expensive and caffeinated drinks goofing off while everyone else is trying to learn music.

Okay, well, Marinette will work on making the costume book and Nino might play around with some lighting ideas if he’s allowed up in the booth. Other than that they’ll just be goofing around.

She watches Adrien and Chloé read lines together with a scowl on her face.

“How long do you think they practiced together,” Nino whispers to her.

“How much do you think they spent on acting and vocal coaches?” she whispers back.

Nino snorts and switches one of the names on his cast list.

Marinette sits back and tries to enjoy the rest of callbacks. She feels a twinge of anger whenever Chloé or Adrien are onstage, but mostly she can relax and doodle. She soaks in the atmosphere of the auditorium. Something about theater that has been missing from her life since last year’s show ended. The play doesn’t have the same feeling, it’s more relaxed and taken less seriously and is honestly kind of a joke. The musical— it’s an experience that she can’t figure out how to recreate.

She sighs when callbacks end and snap her back to reality.

“You good?” Nino asks. “I can grab some stuff for you if you want.”

“It’s okay,” she promise.

“You’re walking—”

“So are you,” Marinette points out. “In the other direction. Don’t worry, I carried it all the school, I can get it home.”

Nino laughs. “Don’t doubt it, my dude. See you bright and early for physics.”

She groans. “Don’t remind me.” She stays in her seat, finishing her last design as the auditorium clears out. She glances over it again before groaning and drawing an x through it.

“It’s too late for this, Tikki,” she murmurs as she gathers up her bags.

“Get some rest, Mari,” Tikki coos. “It’s been a long day and you didn’t get much sleep with the long patrol.”

“Nothing new,” Marinette says with a smile. “I’m used to it.”

“You still deserve a full night’s rest,” Tikki says, nuzzling Marinette’s cheek. “Crooks and criminals be damned. Let’s get home.”

Marinette rubs her arms as she steps outside. Tikki zips into her purse as Marinette shivers. It was way colder than she remembered it being. Tiny snowflakes fall to the ground. And her jacket was sitting on her bed where she forgot it this morning. Fantastic.

“Hey.”

Marinette tenses and looks away as Adrien steps up next to her. If there’s anything she doesn’t need tonight, it’s him.

She can feel his eyes on her. On her and on her bags. She doesn’t want to be judged right now.

“I…I just wanted you to know,” he says softly. She doesn’t want to listen. “Your sketchbook— I didn’t rip it. I didn’t even mean to look at it. I was trying to see if I could fix it.”

Marinette turns to look at him in surprise. He…what?

Adrien is staring out into the street, watching the snow. “I’ve…never been to school before,” he admits. “I haven’t had many friends. This is…kind of new to me.”

Marinette doesn’t know what to say to that. All of the anger that she’d felt has just bubbled up and evaporated and has been replaced by…something else. Something kind of empty and confused.

Adrien sighs and unzips his jacket, pulling it off and holding it out to Marinette in one smooth motion. She hesitates and just stares at it for a moment before putting down her bags and taking it from him, their fingers brushing as she does.   

She puts it on and pulls up the hood, surprised to find that she can no longer see.

“Uh…” Adrien bursts out laughing.

Marinette pushes back the hood with covered hands. The jacket is far too big, coming halfway down her thighs and making her look like she’s swimming in it. And his laugh makes her fill with butterflies and her heart feel like it’s going to explode. It’s infectious, and she finds herself laughing along with him.

Adrien sighs and smiles, motioning to the car that just pulled up to the school. “I’ll see you at rehearsal.”

Marinette doesn’t even react, she just stares at him as he walks away. Until she realizes that she really needs to respond. “Yes! See yo— rehear- rehearsal. Rehearsal see you… You…” She presses her hand to her forehead. “Ugh, why am I stuttering so much?”

Tikki flies out of her purse, giggling. “I think I know why!”

“I—!” Marinette blushes and buries her nose in the collar of Adrien’s coat.

Tikki nuzzles Marinette’s cheek. “Let’s get home before the snow gets through his nice coat.”

Marinette gathers up her bags and smiles to Tikki. The coat is helping keep her warm, but Adrien’s laugh warms her more. “Yeah, let’s go.”