#also yes I know it's Eurasia

[devilsavocadoart]

Today I've bravely gone were no white person has ever gone before

I was making a list for something and I wanted to get at least one example for each continent and maybe one from every sub-continent if I had the time. I finished it and re-reading I noticed it was missing something, I re-read it again to try to figure out and it still no clue, so I counted: 1 for south America, 1 for north America, 1 for central America, 2 for Africa, 2 for Asia, 1 for Oceania. Yup, that's all of them, what was a thing about? Antarctica? Unless the penguin develop a culture it would be really hard to... only then I realized

I had forgotten about Europe

[historicity-was-already-taken]

So, I saw you mention from the river to the sea being antisemitic. I’ve heard various people claim it had antisemitic origins but was never able to find reliable corroborating messages and was curious if u could elaborate on that more, if that’s why. The other argument I’ve heard is it being coded for “free from the jews” which. Yk. I definitely know there are some people who say it with that intent. But I am skeptical of insisting that implication is Always present to people who have found it a useful slogan to rally around on this issue without evidence backing up that intent in the original popularization of the slogan or that it has been widespread deliberately used with that meaning for a long time. Given your whole historian business I don’t doubt that you DO have solid reason for saying it’s antisemitic, I’d just love to hear the details.

I'm going to copy and paste what I wrote about this in an earlier post, because that's still my response:

"That phrase contains strongly genocidal undertones with regard to the Jewish population of Israel who were forced to settle there after being ethnically cleansed from their homes across Eurasia and North Africa over the course of the 20th century (many of whom were and continue to be treated like shit by that country's government and don't get me started on the Yishuv's treatment of Holocaust survivors).

More than half of the Jewish population of the world lives in Israel. As an American Jew and a Holocaust historian keenly aware of the circumstances regarding the postwar Jewish peopling of the modern State, I am deeply uncomfortable with seeing that phrase in my intellectual space. Free Palestine, yes; work towards equal rights for Arab and Palestinian citizens of Israel, yes; engage in active reparations for Palestinians who had their property actively stolen from them in 1948, yes; Truth and Reconciliation Commissions, yes; but not on the bodies of half of the 15 million Jews who remain on this planet."

There is no Collective Jewish Take on this, because Jews are not a hivemind. But it is my take, as a Jew, and as a Holocaust historian.

Jews across any political spectrum will be extremely sensitive to ANY language which reads to us incitement to ethnic cleansing, because we've been ethnically cleansed from all regions of Eurasia over the course of our ~3000 year history. A lot of Palestine activists don't want to engage with that and really resent being told that they need to. And like, I get it; I get their frustration, resentment, rage, and righteous indignation. But the Jewish pasts, and Jewish knowledge of our tenuous ongoing existence on this planet; those aren't going to go away just because it complicates rhetoric on the Israel/Palestinian Conflict.

People can keep using "from the river to the sea." You can keep using it. I'm not the Language Police. Some Jews here and elsewhere may feel comfortable using it and being in spaces where it's used. I'm not going to shit on those Jews or call them "Kapos" or "Self-hating" or "pick-mes." But I'm also not going to change my opinion or my analysis, or ever be comfortable with its use in my intellectual space.

[elbiotipo]

Mister Elbiotipo I am thinking of creating a fantasy world based on earth, but asia and africa are split into many different continents. And traveling between continents is much more difficult, but also much more profitable, so merchants who cross between the continental passages have a more important role in society. Does this sound interesting?

(I don't want to include continents based on America in the setting because that implies a world dominated by pseudo-european colonialism, and I don't want to write European fantasy. But I may change my mind. Fantasy that's early modern instead of "medieval" sounds interesting too)

YES of course that sounds interesting!

What I can suggest you to research is the Silk Road and the interconnections of Eurasia (and Africa) during those times. Most merchants didn't walk the entire Silk Road, they did it in stages, with one caravan doing one stretch to a city, then another, and so on. But a determined group (it wasn't a good idea to do it alone, this was true about travel through most of history) could indeed walk from Europe to China.

There was a lot of infrastructure created to help merchants on the way. Caravanserais have especial narrative potential.

If you can get a copy of GURPS Silk Road (and you can if you know where to look), it's an excellent and well researched window to the times. (GURPS books are usually very worth it for the research they put into settings)

[errorryx]

shitty batman fanfiction

So AO3 went down last night, and my friend @armyanimal156 was in the middle of a fanfiction and couldn’t finish it, so I offered to finish it for him. I used my vague understanding of comic book storytelling from my brief Marvel comics phase in 2019, plus the very minimal knowledge i picked up from some of my mutuals' posts, to assemble this nonsense. This is Damian What’s-his-face’s Journey of Self-Discovery, originally typed out stream-of-consciousness into Discord and then edited into a more digestible format.

Please for the love of god understand that this is not my usual writing style and also I'm not in this fandom and don't know shit about fuck. This is just a very long shitpost. ok enjoy

—

Damian, the newest Robin who was raised by assassins, was about to go on a journey to atone for his sins. He used Batman’s credit card to buy himself plane tickets to Eurasia and Africa, because there was a package deal he saw online or whatever. He decided to fly economy because he had self-esteem issues and thought he didn’t deserve first class.

He arrived in Eurasia, which in DC comics universe is the name of a small country in the continent of Syrup. Unfortunately, when he saw who was waiting for him at the airport, he was shocked.

“Mom?” Damian said. “Dad? Other Mom? That one guy?”

That’s right, it was the four assassins that raised him. The comics didn’t mention the other two assassins, Dad and Other Mom, because they weren’t relevant to the other stories being told. He calls his grandpa “that one guy.” This definitely isn’t someone poorly retconning comic canon into the fic after being told new information or anything like that.

“Yes, Damian, it’s us,” said Other Mom (that’s her legal government name). “We need your help. We’re going to assassinate the President of the United States.”

“No way,” Damian said. “I’ve changed. I fight for justice now.”

“Is that so?” that one guy said. “Then you should know that the President of the United States is actually evil and deserves to die.”

Damian wasn’t sure if he could believe that one guy, because he was a supervillain. But he decided to trust him just this once. He went and found the President of the United States, who was on a diplomatic mission to the small Syrupean nation of Eurasia, and shot him point blank on live television, Joker-movie-style.

Thankfully for Damian, that one guy was telling the truth: the president was evil and everyone had been secretly hoping for someone to assassinate him. People celebrated in the streets, and Batman and Tim and Drake and whoever else called and told him he did a good job. Even better, his mom patted him on the back and told Damian she was proud of him, which made him feel somewhat better about his childhood trauma.

Then, the president came back as a zombie who was impervious to bullets and wanted to eat everyone’s brains. Everyone was very upset about this, including all four of his assassin parents, and Batman, and Drake and Josh. Damian decided his best bet was to run away from his problems instead of facing them like a man, so he used his plane ticket to Africa and escaped.

—

The plane landed in Africa, which in DC comics universe is a small island nation in the Specific Ocean. Damian had never been to Africa before, but it was a popular tourist destination for its pristine beaches and overpriced coconut cocktails. However, after arriving on the island, he quickly learned that everything was owned by a mysterious billionaire known as Bruce Wane, Bruce Wayne’s twin brother who has never been mentioned in the comics before because he wasn’t relevant to any of the stories being told.

After some investigating, Damian learned that Bruce Wane was secretly a supervillain who terrorized the island, who went by the name of Badman (like Batman, but bad). Badman had a sidekick named Robbin. When Damian went up against this pair, Robbin pickpocketed him.

“Hey!” Damian complained. “I saw that! Don’t steal my stuff!”

“Damian,” Badman said in a fake deep voice, Dark Knight-movie-style. “If you want your wallet back, you have to join me. You can be Robbin 2.” Robbin looked upset about this, but didn’t say anything.

“No way, bitch,” Damian said (he gets to say swear words because of his childhood trauma). “Batman is way cooler than you.”

Badman took a few steps back and did a triple backflip. “Bet your stupid Batman can’t do that.”

Damian had to admit that Batman could not do that. “Fine, you win. I’ll join you.”

He followed Badman and Robbin to the Badcave (like the Batcave, but bad). Badman began explaining his plan to take over the world by dropping a bunch of badbombs (like batbombs, but bad) on top of the small island nation of Africa and then the rest of the world.

“That’s a really cool plan,” Damian said. “Can I have the password to your computer? I want to play Roblox.” BECAUSE AS IT TURNS OUT THIS KID IS LIKE TWELVE YEARS OLD HOLY SHIT WHY IS HE FIGHTING CRIME. WHY IS HE ASSASSINATING PEOPLE. WHAT THE FUCK MAN???

So Badman gave Damian the password to the badcomputer (like the batcomputer, but bad), which was, of course, “nanananananananabadman” and gave him unsupervised internet access.

Of course, Damian immediately hacked into the mainframe and set off every badbomb in the badwarehouse (like the batwarehouse, but bad). The Badcave exploded and everything was ruined. Then, Damian revealed that when Robbin was busy pickpocketing him, he was actually pickpocketing Robbin at the same time! He opened Robbin’s wallet and looked through his stuff.

As it turned out, Robbin’s ID picture looked the same as Damian’s, because they were secret TWINS and CLONES and TWIN CLONES. Robbin’s real name was Damien with an E. 

Robbin looked very sad, and he asked Damian if there was a way he could learn to be good instead of bad. “I could take you back to Batman,” Damian suggested. “You could be Robin 2. Actually, more like Robin 27 at this point.”

“That sounds great,” Robbin agreed, and they flew back to Gotham City together.

—

“Jesus Christ, not another one,” Alfred said when they got back.

Batman just shrugged and said, “This might as well happen.”

“It’s going to be really confusing around here if there’s two Damians,” Cass (one of them is named Cass right? or Cath? idfk) said. Everyone decided to call Damian with an e “Dame” and Damian with an a “Ian.” This detail was included despite the fact that it never came up again.

They turned on the news, which was conveniently at the beginning of a report about Badman, who had miraculously survived the explosions. He had now teamed up with the zombie president and vowed to destroy Batman and his league of child soldiers.

The zombie president staged a hostile takeover of the American troops, which was easy because the guy who replaced him was a wimpy loser. Soon the entire US Marines were outside Batman’s house, which apparently isn’t the first time this has happened, but this time they had all been turned into zombies. Which also isn’t the first time that’s happened. Writing an original plotline in DC comics is probably impossible.

So began the epic battle between Batman’s orphanage and the zombie marine corps.

Everything was going well for the good guys, but then Damian got into trouble. It looked like he was about to get seriously injured, until Damien jumped in front of him at the last second to save him, only to get bit by one of the zombies and become infected.

Soon enough all the zombies were defeated, but it didn’t feel like a victory, not when the twinclone kid they met ten minutes ago was dying in front of them.

“Listen, everyone,” Damien said, while slowly turning green (the color of zombies). “I know we just met each other, but the ten seconds of kindness I got from you were better than the entire rest of my incredibly traumatic life. So please, don’t mourn me. Put me out of my misery, and go save the world in my honor.”

Damian nodded and lifted his gun. “I was raised by assassins, in case anyone forgot,” he said. “I can do what needs to be done.” He proceeded to shoot Damien in the head.

But it didn’t do any damage at all, because as previously stated, zombies are impervious to bullets. So Damien finished turning green and stood up. “Please don’t eat our brains!” one of those other batkids said.

“Huh,” Damien said. “I don’t really want to eat anyone’s brains. I think I’m fine, actually.”

As it turned out, the zombie virus didn’t induce the desire to eat brains. The president and the entire US marines were just like that.

So the entire group hunted down Badman and the President and dropped batbombs (like badbombs, but not bad) on top of their heads, and they both exploded into one zombillion pieces.

Everyone lived happily ever after, and Damian now had a twinclone zombie brother and felt a lot better about his childhood trauma.

The end

—

bonus: more discord screenshots from last night for additional context, featuring my other friends @diligently-metastasizing (dyke lego homer) and @avloki-pal (wet ghost cat)

[script-a-world]

Submitted via Google Form:

Hey I was reading through your blog and was confused by something. You had a question once from someone who wanted a small place to have as many biomes as possible and your answer was all roundabout like it's impossible or needs to be handwaved. But I also read something about Hawaii having 10 of the 14 climate zones. They're just a few tiny islands. What exactly is the different between biome and climate zones. Isn't that much of same thing? Climate zone are more narrow than biome and if Hawaii has that many than small place with numerous biomes is just very very possible. I mean to me it kind of sounds like the asker wanted something exactly like Hawaii but didn't know Hawaii fits the bill? I don't have a specific question for myself just but I'm looking in detail at climate and things so these came across as something odd I don't understand.

Tex: For some additional context:

The 8 climate zones on the Big Island by Love Big Island

The differences between climate zones and biomes by Oak National Academy

What biome is Hawaii? by Jane Smith | Hawaii Star

Much of the differences in Hawai’i’s ecology is mediated by the fact that it is an island chain in the Pacific ocean at around the equator, and thus is typically very, very humid. It also experiences a lot of precipitation, so its elevation doesn’t pose a significant factor in how much of what part of each island receives precipitation.

In order to have a desert, there needs to be very little precipitation (this goes for deserts like the Sahara and also tundra like the Antarctic). In order to have snow, and ice, it must regularly reach temperatures below freezing. Hawai’i does, yes, experience 10 of 14 climates according to the Köppen system, and here is a map illustrating that (Wikipedia):

The hot desert and hot semi-arid sections of the main island are generally isolated along one coastline, and the hot semi-arid are likewise few - I haven’t been to Hawai’i, so I cannot confirm if this is just because the soil is too sandy to grow much, and thus is very hot, or if it’s some other factor. The tundra areas on Hawai’i are, I believe, Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa, both of which are volcanoes.

To quote a snippet from the wiki on Hawai’i’s climate:

Temperatures at sea level generally range from highs of 84–88 °F (29–31 °C) during the summer months to 79–83 °F (26–28 °C) during the winter months. Rarely does the temperature rise from above 90 °F (32 °C) or drop below 60 °F (16 °C) at lower elevations.

Because of this, Hawai’i is not a typical example for a diverse climate - many islands are not, due to their relatively small size compared to continents. Australia, for example, is large enough to have significant swathes of biomes (Wikipedia):

And is also large enough to host a desert of a size comparable to the Sahara, Arctic, Antarctic, and Arabian, to name a few examples (Wikipedia). I mention Australia because it is a continent unattached to Eurasia, Africa, or the Americas, and also because its desert receives a significant amount of rainfall but remains arid due to evapotranspiration (Wikipedia).

A planet cannot create and sustain biomes the way, say, Minecraft can, primarily because it is a round object, and also because it is not computer-generated to have different biomes within a character’s walking distance. Anything small enough for someone to easily travel several different climates is likely going to be too small to have a climate, or at least one sustainable to human life.

[chernobog13]

OUT OF THIS WORLD (vol. 1) #1 (June, 1950). Avon Publications. Cover by Gene Fawcette.

Ho hum. Just another science fiction comic, right?

Normally you'd be right. But this little gem contains the first appearance of the one-and-only Crom the Barbarian!

Yes, decades before a certain Cimmerian first appeared at Marvel Comics, writer Gardner Fox and artist John Giunta brought a very Conan-esque barbarian to the four-color pages.

Curiously, Crom's tribe - emigrating from Northern Eurasia (perhaps Siberia, where blond hair is thought to have originated) - is called the Aesir. That's the collective name of the Norse gods of myth, not Asgardians, as Stan Lee and company would have you believe. Oddly enough, though, Crom makes reference to characters from Norse myth (Thor, Jormundgandir, Freya, Garm, Uller), as well as mythological characters from other countries (Set, Nessus). And another guy even invokes Zeus' name (here spelled "Zues").

Crom was a very neighborly guy. According to the text, "To Crom, all men who were not Aesir were enemies. They must be killed, that his tribe might become rich and prosperous."

I could make a MAGA joke here, but that's too easy and obvious.

Crom also deftly wields a sword with the heartwarming moniker Skull-Cracker. He often talks to the sword, encouraging it to drink its fill of his enemies' blood. A real sweetheart, this Crom is.

Crom is also quite the lusty fellow with an appreciative eye for the ladies. In just ten short pages he finds three different lasses that tickle his fancy.

The last gal turned out to be a queen. Originally, she tried to knife Crom in the back because he was stealing a treasure from her vault.

Crom's response to that was "the barbarian way:" he grabbed her and kissed her until she fell limp in his arms.

Politically correct this ain't.

Speaking of political, it is said that "Crom's gorilla-like strength, the cunning of his sword-hand" (plus his ability to leap like a deer) "swept (away) the soft, politically appointed guards before him."

Back to the queen: despite Crom using her as a hostage to cover his escape, and threatening to kill her if she doesn't cooperate, two panels later she's in love with him and wants him to rule by her side as king.

That Crom, what a guy!

Like the Cimmerian he is likely based on, Crom is not role-model material. Mildly entertaining, yes, but I can see parents - especially mothers - back in the 1950s getting upset that little Johnny is reading this sort of stuff in a comic book.

Still, the story is relatively important because it is, arguably, the first Robert E. Howard-style sword and sorcery tale in comics. And as we all know by now, it would certainly not be the last.

[nikofortuna]

JTTW Chapter 36 Thoughts

Chapter 36 for the @journeythroughjourneytothewest Reading Group!

We’ve got creatures galore this time around!

Why can’t you give us the slice of life, huh? Why can’t you, the people want to read fluff too! I know I’d love to.

So as I’m attempting to keep track of the passage of time stated in the text there seems to have been a timeskip of multiple years. The changing of seasons up until last chapter only indicated around one and a half years passing, so either Tang Sanzang is exaggerating and only half a year to one year passes, so definitely one Winter since the narration mentioned frost, or it’s really been a couple of years.

Deer, deer, deer! No fallow deer, those are muntjac deer in the Chinese Original. Cute in the silliest way.

River deer basically yes, our lovely goofy Chinese Water Deer.

Now hold it! Those are not wolves! In the Chinese Original they are either Dholes or a kind of jackal. All three are in the family of Canidae. The wolf shares the Canis genus with jackals, while dholes and jackals are of the same tribe Canini.

I’m leaning more towards Cuon Alpinus so Dholes, which range throughout Asia and are also called Red Wolf or Mountain Wolf, but that might also be personal bias for I watched the Wild Kratts episode on them.

They are really social even more so than wolves and just overall very sweet. However they are classed as endangered!

They also come in a fluffy variant.

Jackals are really neat too though, here it might specifically be the Canis Aureus commonly known as Golden Jackal, which are native to Eurasia.

From Anthony C. Yu’s notes I concur the Vajra-guardians definitely do not look like cherubs neither the modern version nor the biblically accurate one. But they might be somewhat similar in function! Cherubim are assigned to protect special places as one of their jobs, so that guardian function might be the similarity that led to the comparison.

Tang Sanzang getting pouty is so endearing, much more than any ‘scared of demon’ instance.

Though in my opinion the monastery should have been able to kick out those guys that were causing needless trouble over multiple years. Give aid to fellow people yes, but if they knowingly and wilfully act out like that they rescind their right to stay.

Again with the property damage, Sun Wukong might have already cut down on violence against people, but no door is safe from him still.

[tavina-writes]

i find it extremely funny that we (mxtx fandoms in general but mdzs especially) will get into huge shouting matches about timelines and research and accuracy and meanwhile she was like "the death of the nie bros' dad, an event extremely important to explaining the buildup to the war that affected literally every single member of the cast, could have happened anywhere in these five whole-ass years" and "yeah they totally had potatoes don't worry about it lol". truly airplane was an autobiographical character.

You know nonny, I DO find this intensely funny at times. My uh, main source of "shaking my head at this" happens when inevitably, meta goes around and we rush back and forth going "X WAS A GOOD PERSON" and "X WAS EVIL! EVIL!" etc, which happens every now and again and always makes me a bit like "ah, yes, it's difficult to convey nuance and also differing points of view that may in whole or in part also be legitimate and valuable to discuss on a place like tumblr/the internet in general because it is difficult to grapple with uncertainties and we often want to nail things down one way or another so we can figure out if we're right or not" <- but this often comes out as me writing a joke post. Or a saltier post than I intended. Sometimes because I'm tired and sometimes because I just happen to be a salty individual on main.

And I do think fandom is a place where like, multiple interpretations of an event or a statement or a character's "morality" and themes and choices are often equally valid. And fandom should be a place for that, that's what makes fandom fun. If there was a One True Interpretation of the text there'd be no need for interpreting text at all, and that's distinctly sad for me. That's no fun. Anyone who tries to use their knowledge to cudgel people into the One True Interpretation is wrong, btw.

Though I think, and here's where I feel that research and accuracy is a nuanced thing and should actually be of consideration for meta/fic/engaging with fandom in general, and why perhaps people strive for it -- the "lol, potatoes" and "poetry from whatever era I want" is fun! MXTX, however, is still writing about a fantasy version of her own culture, which offers along with it a foundational basis of knowledge that makes this...easier? And again, here's where the part of me that does enjoy these anachronisms and inaccuracies (because they're fun and since we have flying swords why not potatoes) wars with the part of me that's also like, "okay but there is a difference between 'not knowing enough to be respectful of the background surrounding the characters and why that might inform their actions' and 'I've decided that peppers, which did not exist in Eurasia prior to the Columbian Exchange are a big thing here now.'" The difference is respect. Different members of fandom will draw this line in different places and it hits different on different days.

And this is one of the struggles of engaging with foreign language media a lot of the time - we try to strike a balance between engaging with it based on our own experiences and backgrounds and not accidentally saying anything offensive or strange or 'that would totally never happen' or 'he would not fucking talk like that' and I've found, with my time in this fandom, most people who are concerned with accuracy and research are largely trying to be respectful and avoid such gaffes.

Over the two or so years I've been here, I've also reacted to people who've insisted their interpretation is the correct one when it was definitely a case of 'the version Chinese culture that I'm familiar with 200% does not work like that', and saltily wandered off to vent about how 'this is inaccurate and also rude' or try to explain why it wouldn't happen like that. Maybe this comes off as preachy at times, or overly concerned with "accuracy," but that is typically where that sort of reaction comes from for me. I expect this is probably true for other people as well!

And by no means like, do we only engage in fandom because we want to be educated or educate others, and by no means is that an obligation of any fic writer or meta writer or casual fandom goer. We engage with media because it engages us, and we engage with fandom because we love community, and sometimes its no more complex than that.

I enjoy research and art history so that's typically why this appears in my fic, and I started out on doing it to better connect with my own heritage, which I've found more important to me as I've gotten older, so that's where it comes from for me.

Apologies nonny, this was probably not the answer you were looking for and I do commiserate, I'm just chronically unable to be funny on main. 😔

TLDR: there's always nuance in everything unfortunately. Even if this is the no nuance webbed site.

[bonefall]

Hi! I am trying to translate some of my oc’s names in clanmew but am running into trouble with how region-specific they are. I was wondering what you thought of these?

Agavebloom: Luparkikmwaro -- translates directly to “blue-spike-is-blooming” since there isn’t a good word to translate agave into. The closest members to the agave family I could translate to would be either lily or bluebell, which would be Urchamwaro (lily-of-the-valley-is-blooming) or Hebsimwaro (bluebell-is-blooming). I feel like the additional flowers take away the meaning of his name though, since it’s supposed to come from the fact that agaves take forever to bloom especially to a cat, therefore a rarity, and his mentor had never had a surviving apprentice before.

Guanopelt: Hafefylborrl -- translates to bird/bat pelt, since there’s no easy way to translate guano lol. But yes he’s literally named after bat poop, his clan really likes unconventional/gross names.

Chollasting: Also really difficult! I finally settled on Kikluarapokal, spine-jumping-stinging-nettle, since there doesn’t seem to be any cacti translations, and she’s named after jumping cholla cacti and how much it hurts when they attach to you.

If there’s any better suggestions for these names please let me hear them!

Hmm...

Agave is definitely a hard one, since I can't think of any plants that base Clanmew-speaking cats would even liken it to. It looks like a burdock or a teasel growing like a bush. I would recommend coming up with a word in your Clan's dialect to describe it, that's quite unique.

But here's some new words that you can play around with to make a word for yourself;

Greater Burdock/Lappa (Arctium lappa) = Kegdio A type of "thistle" in Clanmew with a very small flower and a whole LOT of spikes.

Teasel (Dipsacus fullonum) = Oorra Probably the closest we'll get to a "cactus," because, cacti are a New World family! If you went to a desert in Africa or Eurasia, you would not find a cactus, except for some cool not-a-cactus-but-trying-to-be types down towards Madagascar. Teasels are considered a type of thistle in Clanmew, and used in some finishing stages of textile processing as a brush. It's a fleshy, green, spiky plant with a round "ring" of a flower. This word is Parkmew in origin, and is related to the word for the King's "crown" in reference to its distinctive flower ring.

Fruited/Fruiting/Will Fruit = Pakawooan/Pakawooa/Pakawoo The act of a plant bearing fruit. Because most Clan cats are NOT ThunderClan (we say, pointedly, at thunderclan), this does not refer only to edible fruits. This equally refers to apple trees and OAK trees, dropping acorns. This is VERY important when you take into account that Clan cats are carnivores, and fruiting trees mean more prey.

First Fruiting/Promotion = Ka'paka The verbs for fruiting ONLY applies to a plant after the ka'paka-- its very first crop. It is the mark of maturity for a fruiting plant. It has a double use for promotion through ranks as well

On Guano... the first thing my mind goes to is Sslop, which is the term for wet, sticky mud in Clanmew. When used in reference to body parts, it suddenly means "mucus" or "body fluid," hence Runningnose's name (Sslopchoop) being a difficult translation.

You could combine Sslop and the word for white, Osk, to make Sslosk. I don't know too much about guano, but I've heard it can be a fuel, though I'm unsure of how true it is.

So, you can play around with this word if you'd like;

Peat = Mai The vital material buried under the turf of a moorland, made from layers of buried plant matter. Highly flammable!

There's also words for bats in the Lexicon, if you'd like to check there!

And, lastly, Cholla. Like I mentioned, we won't be finding any cacti here. The closest will be teasel. Burr (kido) is also in the Lexi, but there's one more interesting word that could have been likened to cacti in a new environment;

Sundew (Drosera rotundifolia) = Kigu Comes from an intense contraction of Swarming Bug-Eating (Kbkb Guburoo), the only purely carnivorous plant that Clan cats see on a regular basis. A fleshy green with bright red, sticky hairs that rise off it, it's hard to miss and endlessly fascinates the cats. A plant that hunts! What a wonderful, respectable creature! I can imagine Clan cats dropped off in the middle of a western hemisphere desert might apply this sort of reverence to surrounding, hardy cacti, especially if the cacti can be used to help them survive.

[grandhotelabyss]

Do you ever feel lonely as a literary man? Or are there other literary men (or women) in your circle?

I'm touched by all your concern for my private life, anons. Am I happy, am I lonely. I'm fine.

(The only time I ever wrote about my personal life online was on Livejournal circa 2004. LJ had a feature where you could limit who saw your posts to a select list of what they called your "friends," now followers or subscribers. So, extracting emotional labor like a typical literary man, I wrote about my travails, whatever they even were back when I was 22 and immortal, to a small list of mostly British literary women. [I was, when I was around his age, sort of a coldhealing type on the internet, if you know what I mean.] They were brilliant Oxbridge students; I would talk to them on Livejournal about Shakespeare and the Brontës and A.S. Byatt and Anne Carson and Tori Amos; Oxbridge women, yes, but also some genius literary-STEM-type hybrid women I think in the Bay Area, polymathic immigrants’ daughters whose models in life were the likes of Athanasius Kircher. I wish I knew these people's real names—I still remember some of their LJ handles—because they were smart and ambitious and some or all of them must have gone on to do great things. They will probably cure cancer by inscribing a poem into the genome. Anyway, one of them—I believe she was from New Zealand—she must have been moved by my travails, whatever those were, and she wrote to me that she wished we lived in the same place so she could cook me dinner and [I will never forget this phrase] "soothe your vast American loneliness." Vast American loneliness! It's true. Everyone in America is lonely. We came here to be lonely together: crabs who actually climbed out of the deep dark bucket of Eurasia. But I digress.)

I've had periods when there were literary people in my circle and periods when there weren't. Right now I've just moved cities and am in the market for a new IRL circle! Literary people welcome, send applications. But I have my literary circle online, and phone-text conversations with friends who were once in IRL literary circles in college or grad school who have since dispersed to the four corners. I don't do the Cormac thing, "Writers are cosmopolitan neurotics, I'm a cowboy and just want to hang out with physicists," but, and ironically given my participation in "anti-institutional rhetoric" that is apparently driving tender souls off of Substack, I don't usually end up hanging out with MFA types but with academic types, philosopher types, people who school and bully me about my ignorance of philosophy and try to explain Lacan to me and the like, even online, even, yes, on Substack, I have drifted into such company. I'll be the dumbest person among the deep and systematic thinkers! It's not a bad place to be.

[trashyocstash]

the second chapter of the phantom blot x lily story, warning for NSFW(yes..i'm already getting into it lmaoo)

chapter 1

The next day, Mickey and Minnie invited Lily over to Mickey’s place, to talk and eat together. Mickey had asked her if she liked hot dogs, and when she told him she did, he went on about making a bunch, causing her to giggle. She was glad that her new friends made her feel happy and comfortable. Her doubts and worries still crept up on her, but she hoped they weren't true and that she could indeed trust them.

Lily arrived, and Mickey immediately greeted her.

“Hey Lily!” Mickey exclaimed, a hot dog in one of his hands. His face already had ketchup dripping from his mouth.

“Oh Mickey, you need to clean yourself up!” Minnie gently scolded and wiped the ketchup off, making him blush in embarrassment.

“Sorry Min..”

Minnie turned her attention to Lily, “Anyways, it's great to see you Lily! Lucky for you, Mickey didn't eat all the hot dogs already, I made sure of that.”

Lily giggled, trying to ignore her jealousy at their relationship, “Thank you.”

A yellow dog came barreling in the room and ran over to Lily, staring to lick her face. She laughed, “Is this Pluto?”

Mickey laughed, “It sure is! He loves meeting new people.”

Lily smiled and pet him, at least she didn't have to deal with her anxieties about others when it came to animals.

She took a few hot dogs and a bottle of soda, and sat down with Mickey and Minnie in the living room, while Pluto curled up on his bed, “I bought some paints from the ink and paint store yesterday, I was thinking of how I want to customize my house. Like..I've been picturing a cute pink and white kitchen, decorated with flowers, how does that sound?”

“It sounds adorable! If you want help, I'd love to customize it with you,” Minnie told her.

“Me too,” Mickey agreed, “We're friends, we help one another after all.”

Lily smiled at the reminder of their friendship, she had doubted they'd like her idea and was relieved they did and wanted to help her, “Ortensia also offered to help work on a garden outside with me.”

“She did? That's great! You'll have a beautiful house in no time Lily,” Minnie replied.

“Do you think you'll ask Horace for help too?” Mickey asked, “In addition to his mechanical work, he can help with more complicated renovations, like tearing down a wall.”

“I think I will..I might need it..”

He smiled and thought for a moment, “You know, I don't just do detective work, I've traveled the world to explore ancient ruins, mysteries, all that stuff. I have an archeologist friend named Eurasia Toft who invites Goofy and I with her sometimes. I've been to Mayan ruins, looked into the mystery of the Colossus of Rhodes and more!”

Lily's eyes widened, “That sounds..amazing..I'd love to know about your adventures.”

Mickey took a bite of one of his hot dogs and his mind wandered, “Of course! But first..I think I should inform you about the villains of Mouseton too. My main enemy is Pete, he leads the criminal underworld here alongside his wife Trudy. He's a brute who does whatever he wants. There's Sylvester Shyster, a corrupt lawyer. If you ever need any legal help, don't go to him.”

He paused, and took a deep breath at the last one, “But the worst is the Phantom Blot, he's not called the King of Evil for nothing, and I haven't heard of him doing anything in a while. I bet he's planning something..but I don't know what..”

His fur and tail tensed up, Mickey clearly had been on edge from just thinking about the Phantom Blot. Minnie placed a hand on his shoulder and rubbed it gently, trying to ease his nerves. Mickey relaxed a bit and took another deep breath.

Lily became nervous, “What kind of things has he done?”

“He's brainwashed me to be a criminal, he's swapped places with me, making people think I was him and using me to escape from prison, he's used a flower to give everyone in Mouseton amnesia, he's tried to take over the world numerous times..”

The memories of everything Phantom Blot had done hurt, his face tensed up from it before he forced himself to relax again, but Lily had to know what he was capable of, “He's put me in death traps and..he's just a very manipulative person in general and a genius. Being friends with me puts you in his line of sight, but don't worry, I won't let him harm you,” Mickey assured her.

“Me neither,” Minnie agreed and placed a hand on Lily's, relaxing her like what she did with Mickey.

“Thank you…I..appreciate it,” Lily replied. Phantom Blot sounded terrifying, but if her friends were really her friends, she would be fine, adding on to why she hoped they were genuine. 

With the tense air, she decided to change the subject, “When I was at the ink and paint store I..I met someone.”

“You did?” Minnie immediately seemed interested.

“He was dressed in all black, so I guess he's probably goth? He also wore a black mask that covered most of his face with a white smile on it. I didn't get his name so he's just registered as ‘Nice Goth Guy’ on my phone. He was very flirty too..it was kind of embarrassing..” Lily blushed.

A mysterious guy dressed in all black and wearing a mask with a white smile? It sounded suspicious to Mickey, he wondered if it was the Phantom Blot, but didn't say anything.

“You definitely have to talk to him again, and pester him for his name too!” Minnie advised, "He can't just not give you his name.”

“You're right, I..definitely want to know more about him..whoever he is..”

—------

Phantom Blot was back in that same dark room, which was a science lab in his mansion. There were beakers and flasks full of mysterious liquids, tubes stretching around, and various inventions littered the place.

He used a dropper to place the ink he had bought into the ink-like substance. With that, Blot tested the substance on his arm again. This time, every part of his hand but his thumb transformed, the fingers fusing together into a hammer. He smirked wickedly, he was almost there, so close to perfection. With just a few more touch ups, the ink-like substance would be perfect and ready for use. Once it was perfected, he wanted to test it out, his mind wandering to a grand heist at the local art gallery.

Blot then remembered the cute blonde he met at the ink and paint store, Lily. He had to admit, he wanted to see her again. Luckily, he had saved her phone number and decided to use that to his advantage. Phantom Blot decided to get her to meet up with him at the art gallery, where she would see he was actually the Phantom Blot the whole time. It was too perfect.

Once he finished messing with the ink-like substance for the day, he placed it in a container and exited the lab, making his way over to the living room. It was there he saw his housekeeper Mrs. Fragmuffin sweeping the floor, and nearby was Phantom Brat, sitting on one of the couches, watching a princess movie while brushing the hair of one of her dolls. He smiled as he walked up to her, until he noticed the movie was now on a scene showing the princess and her mother, which made Brat frown. Phantom Blot was reminded of her desire for a mother, how upset it made her that she didn't have one of her own. She wasn't aware her biological mother hated her and flat out abandoned her, and he didn't want her to know, she was too young for that.

Deciding to cheer her up, he moved around to sneak up behind her and grabbed her, “Got you!”

Phantom Brat giggled and lightly bit his arm, “I got you too Daddy!”

He chuckled and went to sit next to her on the couch. She showed him the doll she had been brushing, “I had to brush her hair, it was all messy!”

“You did a good job, it looks much better now,” He replied as he observed the doll.

Phantom Brat grinned from the praise and hugged her doll close, making Blot smile.

“By the way, I have to go on a business trip soon, but don't worry, I shouldn't be gone for too long,” He hated having to lie to her, but Brat couldn't know he was a villain, he wanted to keep her as far away from that part of his life as possible. At the back of his mind, Phantom Blot also worried Brat would hate him if she knew the truth, and he didn't want that.

She frowned, put her doll down and hugged him, “I hate it when you go! I always miss you so much!”

Phantom Blot hugged her back, “I miss you too, my little princess, but I have to go. And you know Mrs. Fragmuffin will be there caring for you while I'm gone like she always does.”

“I know! But it's not the same without you..” Phantom Brat snuggled up against his chest sadly.

He kissed the top of her head and gently rubbed her back. It hurt seeing her like this, but he knew it was for the best. If the other villains and criminals as a whole knew he had a daughter, some of them may try to harm her, using her against him for their own personal gain. And he wouldn't allow that. Phantom Blot wanted Phantom Brat to have a normal childhood(she was rich but that was the most abnormal thing about her life and he wanted to keep it that way). Seeing her being a typical happy little girl who loved princesses, mermaids, fairies, dolls, plushies and fairy tales made him happy too. 

She deserved to have a good upbringing, filled with love and warmth, and whatever her little heart desired. Phantom Blot himself didn't have the best life growing up, to the point where he never allowed his parents to meet Phantom Brat, and he wanted to ensure things were better for her. She was the most important part of his life, after all.

“I'm not going right away, don't worry daughter. And like I said, when I do go, I likely won't be gone for long anyways. After you finish watching the movie, why don't we play with your dolls together?” He suggested.

Brat perked up at that, “Okay!”

She continued to stay close to him, snuggling up against him as he stayed to watch the princess movie with her, both content, but plagued with worry at the back of their minds.

—-------

Lily had ended up excitedly listening to Mickey's tales of his adventures. He lived such an interesting life, and she couldn't help but want to join him on adventures too. Her life had been relatively simple, and the idea of getting to travel the world, solving mysteries, helping people and exploring remains of ancient civilizations was fascinating to her. It was all like something out of a story, and she wondered where her friendship with Mickey would lead.

In the meantime, she had visited Horace’s mechanics shop, asking him to help her with her house. Lily decided on making the entrance a little more wide, and wanted a sunroom. Horace was more than happy to help, and headed to her house with her, accompanied by Clarabelle. He stepped inside, leaving Lily outside with her.

“Lily! You have to hear about the latest gossip!”

Without Lily even agreeing, Clarabelle just started talking her head off. She didn't mind however, just letting Clarabelle talk and listening to the latest goings on in the city.

She shyly decided to speak up too once Clarabelle finished her ramblings, “I have something too..I met this goth guy at the ink and paint store yesterday and got his number.”

Clarabelle's eyes widened, “You did? He must like you to give you his number already, is he cute?”

Lily blushed, “I..don't have a good idea of what he looks like, he wore a mask covering most of his face. He never gave me his name either.”

“Ooo the dark and mysterious type I see. I bet he's definitely a looker under that mask.”

Lily's blush deepened, “You know, he was flirting with me too..”

Clarabelle got a big grin on her face from that, “Oh he definitely likes you. How lucky are you? You've got a mysterious flirty goth guy into you, sounds like he might be the hot bad boy type.”

Lily covered her face with her hands in her shyness, making Clarabelle laugh, “You have nothing to be shy about! You're beautiful, just look at you! And you're very sweet and kind, any man would consider themselves lucky to be with you.”

That just made Lily feel even more shy, “I..um..I have an ex boyfriend. He wasn't all that..good to me. He told me that no one would ever love me like he does. I hope it isn't true but sometimes I worry it is.”

Clarabelle frowned, not expecting that kind of response, it told her all she needed to know about Lily's ex, “Well he was an idiot anyways for mistreating you like that. I think you could easily get a man to love you, one that will love you better than your ex.”

Lily smiled at that, feeling better from her words, “Thank you..”

“It's no problem,” She replied as she placed a hand on her shoulder, “Now come on, let's see how Horace is doing.”

—-------

Once Horace finished his renovations for the day, he and Clarabelle left, saying their goodbyes. Lily walked around her house, it was clearly in a “work in progress” state, but she didn't mind. The walls near the front door had been torn down, and walking over to where the sunroom was going to be, there were windows laying around, waiting to be installed.

She appreciated Horace's kindness in doing this for her, she was more than happy to pay him for his efforts once everything was finished. When his renovations were done, Lily settled on doing the rest of her planned customization work with her friends.

Until then, she decided to take some time for herself. Lily sat on her couch, pulled out the remote and put on Pawflix. She scrolled through the movies and settled on one, selecting it and then wrapping herself up in a blanket.

As the movie went on, Lily took notice of the romance subplot in the movie, which made her feel depressed. Was Cody right? Was no one going to love her like he did? Could another man fall in love with her? Would another relationship even work? Or would she mess things up like she always did?

Tears began to well in her eyes, when she heard her phone ‘ding’. Lily picked it up, and smiled weakly when she saw she got a text from “Nice Goth Guy”. She looked at her message app and read it.

I wanna meet up in a few days.

The text excited Lily as she wiped her tears away and typed a response.

Of course!

She shyly typed out another response.

I miss you

Lily held her breath as she saw the dots indicating that he was typing in a reply, which he soon sent.

I miss you too

Her heart thumped in her chest at his reply, he actually missed her. She was worried he wouldn't, and couldn't help but blush knowing he did and wanted to see her again. Lily felt nervous at how their meetup would go however. She decided to move to a more casual conversation to deal with her nerves.

I'm watching a movie right now, what are you doing?

Soon, he sent his response.

I'm working on something, when we meet up, I want to show it to you.

Lily couldn't help but be excited, wondering what he was working on. Was it a piece of art? She did know they shared an interest in art after all.

I can't wait 

She then remembered Minnie's advice, and decided to follow it.

What's your name?

Curiosity filled her as she waited, then read his reply when he sent it.

Wait until we meet up, you'll know then.

Lily wasn't sure why he was being so cryptic about his name, it was suspicious and weird but she didn't want to upset him by pestering him further so just went along with it.

She continued to talk to him as the movie went on, her face red and her tail wagging. Lily enjoyed chatting with him, he was kind to her and ended up being flirty again. Eventually, he told her he had some “business to attend to”, but that he loved talking with her again.

He was very mysterious, Lily knew something was up. But she decided to wait for their meetup to figure out what his deal was, hoping everything would go well.

The movie ended, and Lily decided to make her way upstairs to have a bath, figuring it would help give her time to think of everything going on and relax.

She turned on the water and stripped out of her clothes. Before heading into the water, Lily looked at herself in the mirror.

Her body was the kind men would drool over, with her large, luscious breasts, wide hips and narrow waist. Lily traced her fingers over her curves, thinking about her appearance. Despite her voluptuous body, Lily couldn't help but feel insecure about it. Cody didn't go after her appearance much, he more so would tell her that her looks were the best part about her. But even so, his gaze still wandered to other women. She felt there had to be something wrong with the way she looked, and that's why she couldn't keep his attention.

Turning her gaze back to the tub, Lily noticed the water had filled up just enough, so turned it off and laid down inside.

Thinking back to her goth friend, she remembered him calling her beautiful. Just thinking of his comments made her blush again. A thought crossed her mind of what he would think of seeing her like this, and her face went redder from it. Would he like her body? Or would he find whatever flaw in it Cody saw and not be interested in her?

She hoped he would like how her body looked, Lily closed her eyes and imagined him seeing her naked and being his usual flirty self with her. Her mind wandered to him whispering sweet nothings in her ear with that sultry voice of his, as his fingers inched down to her pussy when she opened her eyes, feeling flustered for thinking about that. Her body was becoming heated, and in need of release. She obliged, and spread her legs open, tracing a finger down to her pussy and beginning to gently run her fingers across it.

“Mmm..” Lily let out a soft moan. She realized she needed this, feeling the stress and tension that had built up withering away. It would be better if she had a man with her, but until then, her fingers would have to do.

At the very least, she went back to fantasizing about her mysterious goth friend, imagining that she was being pleasured by his fingers instead of her own. She really wished she had a name she could cry out..

She inserted one of her fingers inside her pussy, causing her to lean her head back and loudly moan, “Ahh yes!”

A hand moved to gently caress one of her breasts, adding to her pleasure. She felt like a mess and started to wonder if she'd been pent up, it had been too long since she'd been touched after all.

Lily inserted a few more fingers inside herself, more moans released from her mouth and her hips bucked. She felt closer and closer to release until her body couldn't take it anymore, and she came.

“Ohh! Oh yes! Yes!” She cried out, her legs and hips moved wildly as she came into the water.

Once she finished, Lily moved her hands down and panted, being out of breath. After regaining her breath, she smiled in content. She had definitely needed that, now, she simply wanted to enjoy the water. Lily closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of the water on her soft fur and droplets of water dripping down her breasts, over her nipples.

After finishing her bath, Lily brushed her hair, put on her pajamas and headed to bed.

She tried to fall asleep, but her mind kept wandering to Cody. Lily felt stressed again as she tossed and turned on her bed, she felt like crying, hating when he would interrupt her as she tried to sleep. She clutched her pillow, digging into it with her claws and holding it close to her head.

It took a while, but she eventually got some sleep, and she wasn't greeted with any dreams when she did. Lily awoke in the morning feeling like a mess, just when she was able to make herself feel good again, it all came crashing down. The high from the pleasure she felt was gone, and her hair was already a mess.

As she tiredly left her bed and headed downstairs to make breakfast, Lily hoped that her fortunes would change for the better.

[diejager]

Is it okay if I ask if you are okay? And I am being extremely genuine with that question as I am surprised that you found Plague!Ghost hot since he was made to be horrifying and I did not think at all that anyone would find him hot (if you need to talk I am ears). The sane part of me is asking if I should ask this but the curious side of me that outweighs the sane side as I have drunk too much so I shall ask. When you say he can do anything to you what is that anything? And please do not go on your knees in front of him as you know what height that is and what your face will be in front of. You! Do! Not! Want! To! Catch! It! I! Thought! I! Made! That! Clear! (Unseriously.) And which detail did you see as I put in multiple hidden details for people to find based on details around the Bubonic Plague (I was taught it twice in school so I surprisingly know a lot of details that I hid in the post)?

(Also would you like to be added to a taglist for all my posts as if enough people want one I will make one?)

Also Merry Christmas! Hope you had a good day!

Ah, yes, it’s my way of saying that I love how you made him. Fictional wise, my mind runs rampant at times —meaning always. But don’t worry, I am sane (in most part, I grew up watching and liking Happy Tree Friend :D) and I very much know what are red flags or not in real life. I would definitely not want to catch the bubonic plague for ANYTHING.

Ozzie, Ozzie, do you want me to die? There’s a reason I quit science and math for art, wasted so many brain cells on passing physics and chemistry only to get an Arts diploma. Do not talk to me about anything related to science, I have ripped apart my stereotypical Asian image./jk

I’m guessing by details you mean the specific symptoms, the bacteria name, the spreader and the carriers? Or do you mean how it affected Simon? The telltale infections, puss, the buboes, or the decay? That the plague eats at people slowly and painfully, killing them off with so much pain and delirium that they don’t even look like the person they were before the spread. Let me tell you, the Quebec education system is so fucking narcissistic and egotistic that all you learn is the direct history related to the creation of the province, so I was thought nothing about the bubonic plague that ravaged through Eurasia and Afrique in the 14th century.

I would like that yes, pls add me to your taglist.

And Merry Christmas as well! I am thinking of taking out my bottle of Bailey’s to drink tonight. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day and don’t drink too much, hangovers are horrible from what’s I’ve seen and laughed at.

[waitmyturtles]

(CW: LOTS OF JOYFUL YELLING)

I LOVE OUR DINING TABLE, I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT! I LOOOOOVVVVEEE ITTTTTTTTTTT.

We’re already getting into GOOD Kinou Nani Tabeta/great pace/lovely softness/all the emotions/fabulous food shots territory! Flashbacks! Little kids! Lots of ma! Longing shots of dudes!

Fuck yes. God damn it, I am so, SO happy TBS adapted this manga.

(Before I go on, I must implore any of you who have the time to PLEASE read this manga. It’s only one volume, beautifully translated, and I think the dorama is going to hew close to the story — at least, this first episode did. It is SUCH a fabulous read.)

I don’t have the moments to write a whole deep thing, but let me continue to list what I loved about this show and what I hope they’ll dive into more:

1) RICE! Y'all know I love rice, and I ESPECIALLY LOVE SHOWS that feature rice as a humble but potent character. (Oh, how I miss you, Moonlight Chicken.)

Onigiri is the humblest of foods, but also so beloved. (Onigiri can actually be a little difficult to make, as depicted in the Kinou Nani Tabeta manga -- if you place the hot rice on your bare hands, you salt your hands in advance and prepare for some owies.)

So about the rice: making rice in a nabe takes legit skill. I've burnt rice in a nabe before, as I'm really only used to using a rice cooker, but: rice out of a nabe is DEFINITELY special, because of the ability to make a crunchy bottom layer of rice at the end. If you can balance the timing just right, that crunchy layer adds so much depth and flavor to the rice. (I got this to make nabe rice at home, and you really need to use proper Japanese short-grain rice to get the best result, in my own opinion as a home cook -- but I'd love to learn tricks from others on how to use this pot for other types of rice, as I'm not skilled enough yet to do that.)

One more point about crunchy/crispy rice: it's beloved across Asia/Eurasia/the Middle East. Persian tahdig, Korean nurungji and dolsot bibimbap (when you order a dolsot bibimbap, mix everything as fast as you can and smush the rice against the hot stone bowl, then let it CHILL for a couple minutes -- then scrape it all off and mix the crunchy rice in with all your bibimbap stuff and AAAAHHHH SO GOOD), all the peeps love it. 

So Minoru and Tane getting excited about all the different aspects of nabe rice is so meaningful (the crunchy layer, the middle part of the rice), because honestly -- eating nabe rice means that you're at HOME, and someone at HOME knows how to make this humble food so well. Sitting around a nabe, whether it's filled with rice or a stew, means that you're likely sitting around a table with people you love, eating together. Our Dining Table takes this motif right out of the batting cage and hits a home run with it. (@respectthepetty, I'm goin' off on the food again, natch.) Sigh. All of this makes me so happy. And there's so much more food to look forward to in the show.

2) I love that the yellow smiley face motif is taking a flight from Thailand to Japan. This means a lot if you know Yutaka's backstory already.

3) I think the dorama is going to make me appreciate this even more than the manga, but it's a hell of a lot of work to take care of a little kid, lol. Seeing Minoru grabbing Tane when Tane first met Yutaka, it gave me the mom feels. This is also a really important point to this story, but -- visually seeing Minoru struggle automatically made me understand his character even more.

GIVE ME MORE OF THIS SHOW! Y'all, it's already so great, and it's going to get better. All of the emojis, all of them. I'm meeping so hard!

[wuxiaphoenix]

Worldbuilding: The Quest for Pizza

No matter where in time and space you are, foods that taste like home make life so much better. There are a lot of American comfort foods that might be replicable in 1600s Northeast Asia, if you knew what you were doing. Off the top of my head, some classics include: apple pie, mac and cheese, jambalaya, spaghetti, hamburgers and French fries, and pizza.

Apple pie would be one of the easiest to pull off. Pastries are pretty much a thing everywhere you’ve got wheat flour, sugar’s available, and apples can be found all over given they went in both directions down the Silk Road, travelers knowing a good thing when they bit it. A little cinnamon for spice would be the most expensive part, but it’d be available; the spice trade is up and running all over the place. Give a local cook a good description, or ask for some kitchen time, and a slice of hot apple pie is entirely possible.

Mac and cheese should also be possible, though you may have to get a bit more creative. Noodles, definitely available. Macaroni or shell-style? That, you would have to describe a dough press for. Or just get flat fettuccini-style noodles and go with it. It’s probably easier to get yogurt than milk, but you can get cheese... if you’re in a northern area influenced by the Mongols and related tribes. So, if you’re in or around Manchuria (named for the Manchus), you’ve got it. It won’t be cheddar, not unless you wrangle that off some English traders, but actual water-buffalo mozzarella is a possibility! And if you like a little chili powder to add a hint of heat? So long as it’s post-1520s, you’re in luck. The Portuguese brought chilis along in their galleys. We can date chilis in China to somewhere between 1520-1550s, in Japan by the 1570s, and they were widespread in Korea by 1614; likely brought over by Hideyoshi’s invasion of 1592-1598.

Which leads us to jambalaya. Chilis, meat, rice, sausage, basil, oregano, garlic, onions, cilantro, and a lot of recipes call for tomatoes. Garlic and onions are ubiquitous in Eurasia; oregano and coriander (cilantro) are also in Asia, and basil’s originally from India. Tomatoes... yes, they would be there, European trade brought them in the 1500s too. But most people thought they were decorative, not so much food. You can get them. Convincing other people to eat them might take a bit.

With all those ingredients, spaghetti should be a given. Mangia!

Hamburgers and French fries, though - likely not. Oh, you can do ground meat, ketchup, and pickles, but potatoes didn’t historically get to China until almost the very end of the Ming Dynasty, brought by the Dutch right as the Manchus crashed the party and created the Qing Dynasty. Korean relations with the Manchus were touchy. Which might explain why Korea historically didn’t get potatoes until the 1800s.

But the trickiest of all would be pizza, at least if you like the classic ham, onions, green peppers and cheese. There’s some disagreement on exactly when bell peppers (almost no heat) were created from chili peppers (varying degrees of heat). Jefferson may have encountered a variety in the 1800s. But most people trace them back to Hungary in the 1920s. That’s right, green bell peppers in the 1600s would be historically inaccurate.

...I can guarantee you if Jason ever gets back to modern Earth, he’s raiding a seed catalog. Pizza!

[parfumieren]

Jeux de Peau (Serge Lutens)

In a 1938 photograph taken by Roger Schall, the great French novelist Colette sits at a rustic dining table buttering a slice of bread. To be more precise, she's solidly paving it with thick shingles of fresh butter-- and quite a job she has ahead of her, too, since the slice she holds is itself the length of a house brick. An expression of intense concentration dominates her face; she caresses the rough-textured surface of the bread with both her eyes and the rounded point of the knife, seeming to note with rapacious delight each place where she might first choose to sink her teeth.

Yes, Colette surely knew on which side her bread was buttered… because she wouldn't dream of delegating that task to anyone else. But Colette did not just eat her good buttered bread. She also thought about it-- and wrote on the subject at length.

La mère et le fils venaient de prendre ensemble leur petit déjeuner et Chéri avait daigné saluer de quelques blasphèmes flatteurs son “café au lait de concierge”, un café au lait gras, blond et sucré que l’on confiait une seconde fois à un feu doux de braise, après y avoir rompu des tartines grillées et beurrées qui recuisaient à loisir et masquaient le café d’une croûte succulente. (Mother and son had just finished breakfasting together, and Chéri had condescended to praise with an oath his cup of 'housemaid's coffee', made with creamy milk, well-sugared, with buttered toast crumbled into it and browned till it formed a succulent crust.) --CHÉRI (1920); translated from the French by Roger Senhouse (Farrar, Strauss & Giroux, 1951)

There is in Chéri a reference to a “café au lait de concierge” that has aroused -- and I choose my words advisedly -- a hungry curiosity, which I have until now left unsatisfied. A concierge once gave me this recipe for a breakfast guaranteed to dispel the shivers on winter mornings. Take a small soup tureen -- the individual soup tureen you would use for a soupe gratinée -- or a sturdy bowl in fire-proof china. Pour in your milky coffee, prepared and sugared according to taste. Cut some hearty slices of bread -- use household bread, refined white will not do -- butter them lavishly and lay them on the coffee, ensuring that they are not submerged. Then all you have to do is place the whole thing in the oven and leave it there until your breakfast is browned and crusty, with fat, buttery bubbles sizzling here and there on the surface. Before breaking your raft of roasted bread, sprinkle on some salt. Salt counteracting the sugar, sugar with a faint taste of salt, that is one of the great principles of cooking that is neglected in a number of Parisian puddings and pastries, which taste bland simply because they lack a pinch of salt. --Article authored by Colette for Marie-Claire, January 27, 1939; excerpted in Colette: A Passion For Life by Genevieve Dormann (Abbeville Press, 1985); translated from the French by David Macey

Serge Lutens has also thought about bread a good deal-- not to mention the lait gras that best accompanies it. In Jeux de Peau ("skin games"), he and Christopher Sheldrake have wedded together notes of creamy comfort and roasted warmth to recreate Colette's café au lait de concierge for the wrists rather than for the breakfast table.

Though a yeasty, sweet quickbread loaded with toasted pecans is the main dish here, I can't overemphasize how great an effect this fragrance's milky element has on me. If the first thing you learned as a kid in the kitchen was how to properly scald milk for béchamel, then you know well the curiously maternal aspects of this process-- tending the flame with an anxious eye, taking the milk's temperature as solicitously as one would a child's (except that in this case, a fever of 180°F is considered no cause for alarm).

Then, of course, there is the skin-- a thin film of protein which collects on the surface of heated milk. Known as kajmak throughout Eurasia, paneer or malai in Southeast Asia, Devonshire or clotted cream in Great Britain, and natas de leche among the Basques of Spain, it possesses an intriguing texture and sweet, creamy flavor worthy of its round-the-world following. Serge Lutens surely is teasing us with his knowledge of this unique treat. In fact, amongst the children of the above cultures, it's agreed the best destination for it is -- what else? -- a slice of toasted bread.

If you are looking for spiritual nourishment (or simply a barrier against winter's chills and ills), I suggest you avail yourself of some Jeux de Peau. Spray it on your wrists and wear your sleeves long. When needed, lower your nose into the protected warmth of your cuff and breathe in the golden scent of succor.

Scent Elements: Milk notes, coconut, licorice, osmanthus, apricot

[occult-roommates]

Meanwhile in Brin-de-thon, Finistère department, Breton peninsula, French Republic, Western Europe, European Union, Europe, Eurasia, Northwestern hemisphere, Planet Earth.

Giuseppe: This is a nightmare, Gwenn, do you realize that? Gwenn: You're the one who wanted to do this. I always knew it was a stupid and bad idea. Giuseppe: Then you should have spoken up in the last 50 years if you really thought that. Gwenn: And at first you wanted to leave her in nature to die. I was doing everything I could do keep my daughter alive. Giuseppe: Oh please, don't act like you're just some helpless woman who's scared of me. You were one of the most respected and powerful spellcastress of your time. You still are extremely powerful. But no, instead you decided to start a failed cult and to dress up like an Edwardian lady! God, this is why I should have married Diana Silvercloud instead. Did you know she became a grandmother recently? Gwenn: It is not a cult! We are fighting for equality between humans and spellcasters. Giuseppe: Of course it's not a cult, otherwise 85% of your followers wouldn't have abandoned you long before even coming close to the mass suicide stage!

Giuseppe grabbed Gwenn, she tried pushing him off, obviously. But while she may be magically powerful, she's not really so physically.

Giuseppe: And in the hand of the day, even if you try defending yourself and explaining your logic, who will they believe? Me, a beloved figure who's an inspiration for every struggling spellcasters worldwide, or you, the crazy witch who fell from grace decades ago and nobody cares about outside of your shitty village? Gwenn: Let. Me. Go.

Gwenn managed to free herself, and as hard as she could she gave a slap to that bastard. How the hell did he even manage to seduce so many women in his life, including her? Honestly, she can think of a reason, he really didn't use to be like that. It's almost as if half of his life was dedicated to building a reputation of that good father figure spellcaster who got his power late in life, who is also comically powerful. The other half was dedicated to making sure that reputation is never going to go away, no matter the cost.

That's when she heard a knock at the door.

Gwenn: Yes? Adem: Hey yo, Misses Gwenn. I might have accidentally set the kitchen on fire. Help.

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