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kmomof4 · 6 months ago

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A Scoundrel... Or a Gentleman? Ch. 4

We are back with a new chapter, and this one's a bit of a doozy... but not anything I have to apologize for. I think y'all will like this one! Thank you so much for coming along on this journey with me! I really can't put into words what it means to me 🥹

Thank you again to @jrob64 @hollyethecurious and @winterbaby89 for their advice and being my sounding boards as I worked on this. And also to @snowbellewells and @motherkatereloyshipper for the artwork they did for the fic!!! I STILL can't get over either one!!! 😍

Ch. Summary: Ruth's birthday has arrived and Emma and Killian both come to some realizations.

Words: 8550 of approx 59,5k

Rating: M (smut in later chs)

Tags: Regency Romance, Inspired by Francesca Bridgerton's Story, Smut in Later Chapters.

On ao3 From Beginning / Current Chapter

On Tumblr Prologue Ch2 Ch3

Tagging the usuals. Please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed.

@jrob64 @winterbaby89 @hollyethecurious @the-darkdragonfly @jennjenn615 @donteattheappleshook @undercaffinatednightmare @pirateherokillian @cocohook38 @qualitycoffeethings @booksteaandtoomuchtv @superchocovian @motherkatereloyshipper @snowbellewells @pirateprincessofpizza @djlbg @lfh1226-linda @xarandomdreamx @tiganasummertree @bluewildcatfanatic @anmylica @laianely @resident-of-storybrooke @exhaustedpirate @gingerchangeling @caught-in-the-filter @ultraluckycatnd @stahlop @darkshadow7 @fleurdepetite @captainswan-kellie @soniccat @beckettj @teamhook @whimsicallyenchantedrose @thisonesatellite @jonesfandomfanatic @elfiola @zaharadessert @ilovemesomekillianjones @mie779 @kymbersmith-90 @suwya

Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.

“Is he here?”

“He is not.”

“Are you quite sure?”

It was all Emma could do to keep from rolling her eyes in irritation. “He hadn’t yet left Kilmartin House when I did, and I haven’t seen him since, so yes. I’m as sure as I can be that he hasn’t arrived.”

“But he is coming?”

“Yes. He is coming.”

“Oh.” Mrs. Fisher was quiet for a moment, looking around the Nolan ballroom. “There’s Ariel. I must go see to her. Lovely to see you again, Emma.” With that, the woman - one of the most notorious gossips of the ton - left her alone to interrupt her daughter, who was speaking most animatedly with a handsome, but sadly, untitled gentleman on the other side of the room.

The conversation with the society matron would have been amusing if it hadn’t been the seventh, no, the eighth - one mustn’t forget the conversation with her own mother - she’d had to endure since she arrived. And since Ruth had announced that Killian would be in attendance at her birthday soiree, she didn’t think there was any possible way to avoid the interrogation of the unattached females, and their mamas, of the ton. All trying to find out tidbits about him that might smooth the way for them to charm the dashing earl, as he was now known.

“Lady Kilmartin!” She turned to see Lady Lucas making her way toward her. She was a stern older woman that many in the ton feared, but Emma rather liked her. Not afraid of anything or anyone, she wasn’t hesitant about making her thoughts and opinions known. She was a legend around town and Emma counted herself fortunate to be consistently in the countess’ good graces. The crowd between them parted like the Red Sea, the partygoers removing themselves from Lady Lucas’ line of sight.

“Lovely to see you, Lady Lucas,” Emma greeted the old woman, when she was finally close enough that Emma wouldn’t need to shout to be heard over the din of the party.

“Hmphh,” the old woman replied. “Don’t lie to me. We’re both well aware that no one thinks it’s lovely to see me coming.”

Emma couldn’t hold back a snort of amusement at her bluntness, even if she didn’t fully agree with her. “Are you enjoying yourself?” she asked instead.

“I’d enjoy myself better if someone would tell me how old your mother is.”

Emma gasped in shock. “I wouldn’t dare.”

“And why not?” Lady Lucas asked, indignant. “It’s not as if she’s as old as I am!”

Emma smiled slyly before speaking. “And just how old are you, Lady Lucas?”

The countess shot her an impressed look tinged with a knowing gleam in her eye. “Heh, heh, heh,” she chuckled. “You’re a clever one. But don’t think I’m going to fall for your tricks. You’ll never find out how old I am.”

“Then you must allow the same consideration for my mother.”

“Perhaps,” she conceded. “But what’s the point of a birthday party if we don’t know what we are celebrating?”

“The miracle of life and longevity?” Emma asked, pertly.

Lady Lucas snorted at that. “Where’s that new earl of yours?”

Emma tried not to choke on her drink. “He’s not mine,” she asserted.

Lady Lucas raised an eyebrow at her. “You’re still the countess, are you not?”

“Yes, of course,” she replied. Her heart thundered in her chest and she prayed the woman next to her was unaware of it.

“And he is the earl.” The eyebrow went even higher. “Is he not?”

“Yes, of course he is.”

“That makes him yours,” she insisted with a sharp nod. “And besides, I thought you were friends.”

“W-we are,” she stammered. That much was definitely true, but Emma couldn’t countenance the underlying message the countess seemed determined to get across. “He is my brother-in-law. That is all.”

“It doesn’t have to be.” Lady Lucas looked around the crowded room before speaking again. “I do believe you deserve a reprieve. From me,” she continued, in case her meaning had not been abundantly clear.

“You are my reprieve,” Emma mumbled under her breath. But Lady Lucas gave no indication that she’d heard her, no matter that her hearing was positively wolf-like, able to hone in on anything of interest within a fifteen foot radius.

“I believe I’ll go pester your brother. Isn’t he newly arrived from Cyprus?”

Emma spied August some twenty feet away on the other side of the ballroom, surrounded by his own group of admirers, no doubt hanging on every word of his adventures.

“Why, yes, he is,” Emma acknowledged, a sly grin on her face. August was terrified of Lady Lucas and Emma would rather enjoy watching him try to avoid the countess once she set her eyes on him.

“Mr. Nolan,” she barked. Emma giggled behind her hand to see the terror flash in her brother’s eyes while he tried to pretend he hadn’t heard her. As Lady Lucas moved toward her latest target, Emma realized that she had been a very effective deterrent to the many matrimonial minded mamas who saw her as their only link to Killian. Good heavens, three of them were already heading her way.

It was time to escape. Now. She turned on her heel and marched right over to where her sister Ruby stood conversing with their sister-in-law Mary Margaret, and their brother Will’s intended, Belle French. Ruby was easy to spot in the crush of partygoers, wearing a beautiful red gown. Emma would have rather left the party completely, but if she was serious about finding herself a husband this season, she was going to have to stay visible and let it be known. Not that anyone would take any notice until Killian arrived. She could announce that she planned to move to the dark continent of Africa and take up cannibalism and the only response she’d be likely to garner would be if the earl was going to accompany her.

“Good evening,” Emma said, joining the small group.

“Oh, hello, Emma,” Ruby greeted her. “Where’s…”

“Don’t you start,” Emma growled. “If one more person asks me where Killian is, my head will explode.”

“That would certainly change the tenor of the evening,” Mary Margaret remarked mildly, taking a sip of her lemonade.

“As well as the cleaning duties of the staff,” Belle added.

Emma rolled her eyes.

“Well? Where is he?” Ruby demanded.

Emma sighed. “I don’t know. He said he’d be here.”

“If he’s smart, he’s probably hiding in the hall,” Belle observed.

“Goodness gracious, you’re probably right.” Emma could just see him bypassing the ballroom completely to socialize in the smoking room. In other words, away from all the females. “I wish he would get here so people would stop asking me about him.”

Ruby laughed loudly. “Oh my poor delusional Emma,” she guffawed. “Once he arrives, the questions will double and simply change from where is he to tell us more.”

“I fear she is right,” Mary Margaret said, with Belle nodding in agreement.

“Oh, dear,” Emma breathed, realizing that was exactly what would happen.

“You’re wearing blue!” Mary Margaret exclaimed.

Emma looked down, almost surprised. She’d nearly forgotten. The shade was really quite lovely, a soft sky blue. The comparison to Killian’s eyes couldn’t possibly be avoided.

“Yes, yes I am,” Emma replied, raising her chin just a touch.

“You’re out of mourning, then?” Belle asked gently.

Emma couldn’t meet her eyes and lifted one shoulder in a half shrug. “Well, I’ve been out of mourning for quite some time.”

“Does this mean you’re wanting to remarry?” Trust Ruby to get straight to the point.

“It has been four years after all,” Mary Margaret added.

Emma couldn’t hide her wince. But there was no use denying it.

“Yes.”

For a moment, there was silence from the ladies. Then they all spoke at once offering their congratulations and bits of advice that she wasn’t at all sure she wanted to hear.

“We shall have to spread the news, of course,” Mary Margaret said, excitedly.

Emma gasped. “You can’t be serious!”

“Of course I am! The blue dress is an excellent signal of your intentions, but the only ones astute enough to notice are fellow females. The men of our acquaintance are simply too obtuse. Don’t worry,” she continued, laying her hand on Emma’s arm, who was feeling rather ill at the prospect. “We will be the very model of discretion and tact.”

“Trust us,” Ruby interjected, the smirk on her face inspiring the very opposite. “Oh, look. There’s Killian.”

And so he was. The ladies all looked toward the entrance to the ballroom to see Killian already surrounded by a gaggle of women. Not that Emma was surprised in the least.

“My goodness,” Mary Margaret breathed, “I forgot how handsome he is.” Emma’s lips pressed into a thin line.

“He’s very tanned,” Belle added.

“He was in India for four years. Of course he’s tanned,” Emma snapped.

Ruby’s head jerked toward her. “You’re of rather a short temper tonight, Emma,” she observed.

Emma tried to school her features into a more neutral mask. “I’m just weary of being asked about him all the time. There are so many other more interesting topics of conversation.”

“Did you two have a falling out or something?”

Emma’s breath caught as she realized she’d left the wrong impression. “No, of course not,” she assured her sister. “But he’s been literally the only thing I’ve talked about all evening. At this point, I’d be delighted to comment on the weather.”

“Hmmm.”

“Of course.”

“Yes.”

Emma had no idea who said what as they were all once again staring at Killian and his crowd of admirers - about half pursuing him for marriage, either for themselves or their daughters, while the other half were young and already married, obviously pursuing him for another reason entirely.

“He is very handsome,” Belle commented. “All that black hair.”

“Belle!” Emma exclaimed.

“What?” she replied. “It’s true!”

“You’re to be married!”

“Well, I’m not yet!” she exclaimed. “And even then, I’m not blind!”

“Does that mean that Emma and I are the only ones allowed to comment on how handsome he is? Spinster that I am and unattached as she is…” Ruby asked.

“Killian is the last man you’d want to marry, Ruby,” Emma said.

“And why is that?” she asked. The words had been out of Emma’s mouth before she’d even had a chance to think, and now all three of them had their full attention fixed on her, awaiting her answer.

“‘W- well,” she stammered, her eyes widening as she cast about for something to say. “He’s just a terrible rake, is all. And you know his reputation. He could never remain faithful to one woman.” As she watched him charm the masses, her heart squeezed at her flippant words. He may have been a rake and a scoundrel, with no real responsibility, but the way he’d dutifully stepped into the role of the earl since being restored to health had been unexpected to say the least. She had a feeling that the change she’d sensed in him since their reunion a month ago, may very well extend to matters of the heart, as well. Or, maybe not necessarily matters of the heart - it was still very difficult to imagine Killian falling in love - but matters of duty to crown and country. The duty to marry and produce an heir. And Killian’s heart of honor would likely not allow him to break his marriage vows.

“Rake or not,” Ruby mused. “He’s terribly handsome. No wonder he attracts so much attention.”

“He’s always attracted female attention, but not from the marriage minded,” Emma said. “The fact that he’s an earl is the only reason he’s the catch of the season.”

“You should go greet him,” Mary Margaret said, nudging Emma with her elbow.

“Why on earth should I do that?”

“Because he’s here.”

Emma gestured around the room as she spoke. “So are a hundred other men,” she replied. “All of which I’d rather marry.”

Ruby turned her shrewd gaze on Emma for a moment, making her want to squirm. “Mmhmmm,” she hummed. “Don’t know why,” she continued, now rolling her eyes. “Killian is far more handsome than any of them.” Emma turned her head sharply at her sister. Of all the Nolan siblings, Emma and Ruby were the closest in age, exactly one year apart. And while, of course, she’d give her life for her sister, more often than not, she felt like strangling her. Like now. Especially right now. “There’s only three here that I’d even consider obeying. And I’m not even sure about them…”

“Be that as it may,” Emma replied, desperate to redirect Ruby’s thoughts, “spending time with Killian will not help my prospects in finding a husband.”

“And I thought we were here to celebrate Mother’s birthday,” her sister quipped with a smirk. Emma glared.

“But Mary Margaret is right,” Belle said. “You should go over and greet Killian. It’s only polite and will signal to the ton that you fully accept him as the earl and that there is no rift between you. Which everyone will think, if you don’t.”

Emma sighed. Belle was right. Killian deserved a proper and formal welcome to London society and if she didn’t do it, it would be gossip fodder for weeks. And that kind of speculation at the moment would not help her. Not when she was trying to find a husband.

She’d always found Killian’s reputation to be amusing. Probably because she was rather removed from it all. What did his reputation matter to her as a happily married woman? But she was no longer a married woman. She was in the market for a new husband and to see Killian flirt and charm so effortlessly irked her for some reason that she didn’t want to look at too closely.

“I will go greet Killian,” she promised. “Just as soon as I see to myself.” If she was going to fight her way through all the ladies surrounding Killian, she’d rather do it without having to hop from foot to foot.

As she passed Ruby, she could have sworn her sister whispered coward under her breath. Emma inhaled sharply and walked faster instead of turning and lobbing back a scathing retort. Because Ruby just might be right, and that was terrifying to consider.

~*~*~

He was aware of her from the moment he entered the room. Emma stood on the other side of the ballroom conversing with her sister and sisters-in-law; or nearly, in the case of Belle French, Will’s betrothed. He couldn’t hide the small smile that touched his lips when he saw what she wore. Light blue silk glowed under the light of all the candles, and while she was too far away for him to experience the full effect, he still had to catch his breath at the picture that formed in his mind's eye.

Even four years away from her hadn’t changed that one whit. And he didn’t suppose it ever would. At least in India, she wasn’t around for him to be aware of her. But now that he was back, it was as clear to him as it ever was. He’d never be free of her. And she’d never be his. His heart clenched at the thought.

Within seconds of entering the room, he was surrounded by no less than half a dozen debutantes, and their mamas as well. As he suffered through each introduction, and re-introduction of the ladies, he blessed his ability - gift, really - to charm and appear wholly focussed on those seeking his attention, even if that attention was truly elsewhere. Emma suddenly left her family and was making her way toward the side entrance, no doubt seeking the ladies retiring room. Once she was gone, he announced his intention to locate his hostess to offer his thanks and best wishes, and excused himself.

When Emma arrived back in the ballroom, he hadn’t yet spoken with his hostess, being waylaid by Lady Lucas and Emma’s family. Not that he minded the Nolan ladies, since Ruby was the only one among them unattached, and she was as much a sister to him as anything. Killian immediately changed direction and caught his breath yet again, as the full realization hit him of exactly what it meant for her to be dressed in blue at a social event, even if it was her mother’s birthday fête.

She was out of mourning. Officially. She would flirt. And dance. And laugh. And find herself a husband. And it would probably happen within the space of a month. Because once her intention became clear, she would be flooded with suitors. After all, who wouldn’t want to marry her? She was beautiful, vivacious, witty, and had an air of maturity the younger debutantes didn’t have. And as her highest ranking male relative, he’d have a front row seat.

A soft, knowing smirk adorned her face as she approached him. He responded in kind as he met her halfway.

“Lady Kilmartin,” he murmured with a bow, taking the hand she offered him and brushing his lips across the knuckles.

“Welcome back to London, my lord,” she replied, curtseying properly. The moment they were both upright again, giggles and a full bodied laugh burst from them. The utter ridiculousness of the formality of their greeting was not lost on either of them.

Killian held his arm out for her. “May I have this dance?” She took his arm, the knowing smirk back on her face as he led her to the dance floor. He took her in his arms, his necessary mask when in her presence firmly in place, and began to lead her in a waltz. “You look lovely this evening, Emma. The color looks splendid on you.”

Her cheeks flushed prettily and she demurely looked down. “Thank you. I see you did make time to see the tailor. You look quite handsome as well.”

They continued the waltz for a few moments before he spoke again. “So, are you enjoying yourself?” he asked.

Emma rolled her eyes. “Ruby, Mary Margaret, and Belle all said I should greet you properly, since this is your formal entry to society. Can’t let the ton think there’s any issue between us.” Killian swallowed hard, as he spun her and then drew her close again. “No matter that we’ve been living in the same house for weeks.”

“What issue could they possibly think may be between us?” he asked, honestly puzzled.

“I haven’t a clue,” she replied, “but that’s never stopped them from wagging their collective tongues, speculating about a non-existent scandal.”

“This is true.” Even in the few minutes he’d been the center of attention, he could plainly see the essence of the ton was unchanged since he’d left four years ago. He wasn’t sure if it was amusing or hell. Amusing, at the moment, he decided. Next week, it’d likely be hell.

“And what about you? Are you enjoying yourself, Killian?”

“Of course.”

“Of course?” She raised her eyebrow as if she didn’t believe him. “Even dancing with me, instead of being surrounded by a whole host of giggling young ladies hanging on your every word?”

“Why, Emma,” he said, waggling his brows, “Is that a note of jealousy I hear in your voice?”

Emma blanched and her eyes widened. He’d only been teasing her, but her response, quite honestly, startled him.

“O-of course not!” she exclaimed, her cheeks flaming again. “Why would you think I was jealous? I’ve never been jealous of your admirers before. Why would you think I am now?”

“Calm down, Emma,” he cajoled. “I was only teasing. I know you’re not jealous.” Even if the most fervent desire of his heart was for her to love him as he loved her, he couldn’t wish the torment of jealousy upon her, not when he himself had lived with it day in and day out for so many years.

She was still flustered and wouldn’t meet his eyes, and Killian couldn’t help the way his heart leapt with hope. “You must be careful though. These ladies are not your usual ladies.”

Killian’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “I wasn’t aware I had a usual.”

Emma finally looked at him, though the color was still high on her cheeks. “Oh, come now, Killian. You know what I’m talking about. Four years ago you had standards. You didn’t seduce anyone who’d be irreparably harmed by your actions.”

“And what makes you think I’m going to start now?” The hope that filled his heart moments ago, plummeted. He brought them to a halt in the middle of the dance floor and led her to the edge of the ballroom and out onto the blessedly deserted terrace. He knew exactly what she was saying and he really shouldn’t have been surprised. He’d been very conscious and purposeful to flirt and seduce where either Emma could see it or she’d hear about it later, all so she’d never know the truth that lay buried in his heart. And now his reputation as a rogue and scoundrel diminished him in her eyes. And that was the last thing he wanted. Bitterness and resentment rose up within him as he turned back to her, and he couldn’t keep their bite out of his words. “Tell me, Emma. Just who do you think I am? Do you really think me so dimwitted or careless that I might accidentally ruin some young lady?”

He didn’t think he’d ever seen her pale so quickly and he immediately regretted what he’d said. “O- of course not,” she stammered. “I’m just afraid…”

“Afraid of what?”

Her chin trembled slightly. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to count the number of hearts you’ll break this spring.”

His voice was quiet but hard. “And why are you so concerned about that? It’s not your job to count them.”

“I know.” Her voice was nearly a whisper and he had to strain to hear her. “But I won’t be able to help myself.”

He had nothing to say to her. Her words and posture had his mind spinning. Why would she concern herself with how many hearts he might break? He certainly didn’t set out to do so. But the fact that she expected it of him hurt.

“You should dance,” she burst out.

“We just finished a dance,” he informed her, testily.

“I meant with someone eligi…” She cut herself off before finishing the word, and Killian couldn’t help but wonder why. There was no possible way she might have guessed that he’d consider her eligible. He’d kept his feelings too well hidden for that. “Someone you might marry.”

Someone he might marry, he thought irritably. To her mind, anyone but her.

“As a signal to society that you are looking for a countess.” He made no comment, but he could feel the muscle in his jaw twitching in his agitation. “You are… looking for a countess… are you not?”

He shrugged, flippantly. “If you say so.”

“Someone who won’t fall in love with you.”

He turned sharply toward her and raised an eyebrow sardonically. “Heaven forbid I fall in love.”

She turned her head more fully toward him, her mouth open in a soft O of surprise. “Is that what you want? To fall in love?”

The joy and delight on her face was too much. Surely there was no more perfect irony in the universe. God must be sitting on His throne having a good laugh at how tied up in knots he was.

“Killian?” she asked when he didn’t answer right away.

She wanted him to find love. She wanted him to be happy. And all he wanted to do was scream.

“If you will excuse me,” he said, his voice cold and formal, “I must go find someone with whom to dance. Someone I might marry. But someone who will absolutely not fall in love with me.”

“Killian, please,” she said in a whisper. “Don’t be like this. I didn’t mean…”

“Oh, I understand exactly what you mean, Emma,” he stated. “We must preserve the delicate and pure hearts of the ladies of the ton, since my heart is far too black to be helped.”

With those words, he turned back toward the ballroom and left the terrace.

~*~*~

The next morning, Emma felt perfectly wretched. She couldn’t shake the guilt that clung to her like a blanket, even though Killian was the one who was so cold and heartless the evening before.

What had she done or said to provoke such an unkind response from him? He’d never been interested in love and marriage before, and while she knew he’d eventually fulfill his duty to marry and beget an heir, when he��d said what he did about falling in love, her heart had beat double time. She wanted that happiness for him, but his cold and callous words towards her, and then his actions the rest of the evening, showed her plainly that his words about love were just that. Words.

When she went back into the ballroom from the terrace, she’d been inundated with dance requests and spent the rest of the evening dancing with this gentleman, or that viscount, and even a marquess. But Killian still commanded her attention. And she was painfully aware of how he charmed every single female in attendance. It got to where she was quite disgusted with herself for not being able to put him out of her mind.

Every once in a while, his eyes would meet hers and they would turn hard and cold, but with an edge of mocking as he moved on to the next conquest. It was obvious to her that he knew exactly what he was doing. After her whispered confession about counting his broken hearts, he rose to the challenge with alacrity. She still wasn’t sure why she’d said that. Or even what exactly she meant. The words were past her lips before she could really think about it.

But they were true nonetheless. She had counted. But why? What did it matter? She’d never cared before! And it was only going to get worse. The women of the ton were mad for Killian. If the rules of courtship were reversed, the drawing room of Kilmartin house would be overflowing with flowers of every description. All addressed to the Dashing Earl.

But it was still going to be dreadful. She expected numerous female callers today, all hoping that Killian would walk through the drawing room. But even if he didn’t, she’d still have to answer numerous questions about him…

“Good heavens!” she exclaimed, looking into the drawing room. “What’s this?”

Flowers. Flowers everywhere. Flowers of every description on every available surface.

It was her nightmare come to life! Had someone changed the rules of society and failed to tell her?

Lilies, orchids, tulips, violets. Roses. Roses everywhere. In every color. The scent was overwhelming and nearly sent her running.

“Tom!” she called the butler. She heard a loud sneeze and then he appeared in the doorway of the room holding a vase of daisies, his nose red and eyes watering terribly.

“Oh, Tom! I’m so sorry! All these flowers must be terrible for your allergies! But where did they all come from?”

“They are…” sneeze “for you…” louder sneeze “milady.” three sneezes in remarkably quick succession.

Emma blinked.

“For me?” She couldn’t fathom it. She was a widow. Men didn’t send flowers to widows. Did they?

Tom sniffed loudly and blew his red nose on his ever-present handkerchief. “I left the cards…” sneeze “on each arrangement…” sniff “so you would be able to identify each sender.” More sneezing.

“Here,” she said apologetically, “let me take those and you go take care of yourself.”

He handed the vase over and hurried off, no doubt thankful to be away from all the flora in the room.

Emma walked slowly into the room, and set the vase of daisies down on the nearest empty surface, too overcome by the lavish display. She came to an arrangement of tulips in the brightest of colors. Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady the card read. It was signed Viscount Trevalstam. He’d lost his wife two years ago. Everyone knew he was looking for a new bride to give him an heir.

A delicate purple orchid was the next vase she came to. From Baron Whale.

“Who could these be from?” she mused, approaching an arrangement of yellow roses. She couldn’t keep the giddiness inside of her hidden as a wide and delighted grin spread across her lips. A Shakespearian sonnet, if she wasn’t mistaken and signed by Earl Stone. They’d only been introduced the evening before and shared a single dance. He was quite handsome, but since she had a full dance card, she hadn’t had the opportunity to converse with him after their turn on the floor.

“Good heavens!”

Emma turned to see Alice in the doorway. Her mouth hung open slightly, much as hers had been upon discovering the floral display.

“What is all this?”

“I believe those were my exact words when I came in,” Emma laughed. Alice approached and Emma handed her the cards she’d already read. She watched her mother-in-law carefully. She’d lost her firstborn son when Liam died. How would she react to Emma being pursued by other men?

Alice’s eyes were soft as they rose to meet hers after reading the cards.

“Oh, my,” she breathed. “You seem to be the season’s Incomparable.”

Emma felt her cheeks heat. “Oh, don’t be silly,” she protested. “I’m far too old for that.”

“Apparently not,” Alice replied. “Have you looked at all of the cards?”

“Not yet,” Emma said. “But I imagine…”

“They’re more of the same?”

Emma met Alice’s gaze and slowly nodded. “Does that bother you?”

Alice’s smile was sad, but her eyes were kind and wise. “Do I wish that you were still married to my son?” she asked. “Of course, I do.” She laid the cards down on the table and took Emma’s hands in her own. “Do I wish for you to remain married to his memory? Of course not. You are my daughter, Emma, and I want you to be happy.”

Emma’s eyes filled with tears. “I would like to have a child,” she said, feeling the need to explain to Alice that she wanted to be a mother, not necessarily a wife.

Alice nodded and dabbed at her own eyes before turning toward another arrangement, a delicate and lovely arrangement of grape hyacinths and stephanotis. “We must read the rest of these cards. And then prepare ourselves for a flood of afternoon callers,” she said, her tone brisk, clearly communicating her wish to move on from the heavily charged moment.

“I rather think the callers will be women,” she murmured, “inquiring after Killian.”

“You may be right,” she agreed. She held up the card. “May I?”

Emma nodded and Alice opened the card. Her mouth dropped open slightly as she read the words.

“What is it?” Emma asked, almost dreading her response.

“Cheshire.”

Emma gasped. “As in the Duke of?”

“The very one.”

Emma raised a hand to her heart. “The Duke of Cheshire,” she breathed. “Oh, my…”

“Oh my, indeed,” Alice agreed. “You, my dear, are clearly the catch of the season.”

“But…”

“What the devil is all this?” Both ladies turned to see Killian standing in the doorway of the drawing room, looking exceedingly cross.

“Good morning, Killian,” Alice said cheerfully.

He nodded in response then looked at Emma. “You look like you’re about to faint,” he said, waving his hand around aimlessly. Emma dropped her hand back to her side, having forgotten completely she still held it over her heart. He came further into the room and raised his eyebrow. “Are we opening a flower shop, then?”

“We clearly could,” Alice answered him. “They’re for Emma.”

“Of course they’re for Emma,” he replied. “Who else would they be for? But good God, how many roses are there? And who would be idiot enough to send them?”

“I like roses,” Emma protested.

“Everyone sends roses,” Killian groused. “They’re trite and old and… who sent these?” he asked, motioning to a display of white roses she hadn’t yet read the card for.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I haven’t seen the card yet.”

He plucked the card from the arrangement and opened it. “Lord Gaston,” he read.

“You will under no circumstances marry him. He hasn’t two shillings to rub together.”

Emma’s mouth dropped open in shock. “And how do you know that?”

He fixed her with an unamused look. “I’ve been to my club.”

“That may be true, but it’s hardly his fault.” She may not have seriously considered marrying him, but she did feel compelled to defend him since everyone knew the young Lord had spent the last year trying to repair the damage his father had done to the family finances.

“You’re not marrying him, and that’s final,” Killian announced.

She should have been annoyed by his arrogance, but in truth, she was only amused.

“Very well,” she replied, a smirk on her lips. “I’ll choose someone else.”

“Good,” he grunted.

“She has many to choose from,” Alice supplied, helpfully.

“Indeed,” he said caustically.

“May I take these daisies to my room?” Alice asked suddenly. “They are my favorite flower.”

“Of course,” Emma agreed quickly. Alice picked up the arrangement and left them alone. It was only a moment later that Killian let out a violent sneeze. As soon as he recovered, he glared at the display of gladiolas next to him that prompted it.

“We shall have to open a window,” he groused.

“And freeze?” Emma asked.

“I’ll put on a coat,” he ground out.

“Are you jealous?” she asked coyly. He snapped his head toward her so fast, she quickly backtracked. “Not over me,” she clarified, mortified to feel her cheeks heat. “Heavens, no. Not that.”

“Over what then?” he asked, his voice quiet and clipped.

“Well… just…” she stammered, gesturing aimlessly toward the ostentatious display around them, “I mean, we’re both after the same goal this season, aren't we?”

He stared at her blankly.

“Marriage?” Good heavens but he was obtuse this morning.

“What of it?”

She let out an impatient breath. “I don’t know if you’d thought of it or not, but I rather assumed you would be the one to be relentlessly pursued. Not me. I never dreamed that I would…”

“Emerge as a prize to be won?” He lifted his eyebrow at her knowingly.

“Well, yes… I guess.” It wasn’t the nicest way to put it, but she couldn’t argue the point.

For a moment, he was silent. His clear blue eyes never wavering from hers. “Any man who doesn’t want to marry you is a fool.”

Emma’s jaw dropped. “Oh… well…” She was quite at a loss for words. “I believe that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Emma,” he sighed. Emma couldn’t look away from him. He looked tired, and sad, and something else. Regretful, maybe? No, Killian didn’t regret anything.

“I would never begrudge you this, Emma. You…” he cleared his throat, “deserve to be happy.”

She had no idea how to reply. Especially after their words last night.

“We both deserve happiness, Killian. Your turn will come.”

He turned questioning eyes upon her.

“It already has really,” she continued. “Last night. I was besieged by far more of your admirers than my own.”

Killian smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He didn’t look angry, just… hollow, almost. And it struck her how odd an observation that was.

“Speaking of…” he began, reaching up and scratching behind his ear, “Last night. I must apologize for my behavior. I hurt you, and I’m sorry.”

“Everything is fine,” she assured him.

“Nonetheless,” he said gruffly, “I’m sorry.”

She watched him intently. His face was so dear to her and she knew every last detail of it. But something was different about him now. And she wasn’t sure what. And she wasn’t sure how it’d come about. She was also quite sure there was more he wanted to tell her, but couldn’t find the words.

“Everything is fine, Killian,” she repeated. “We’re fine.”

He nodded sharply, turned on his heel, and left the room.

~*~*~

Later, Killian sat in his club, a tumbler of rum in his hand. He grit his teeth, the muscle in his jaw twitching as he reflected on Ruth’s birthday party. He didn’t enjoy acting like an ass, but he truly had, and the guilt ate at him. He couldn’t really blame Emma. She’d always wanted to see him happily married. As happy as she’d been with his brother. But when he’d uttered the L word the previous evening, the joy on her face at the prospect of him finding love was just too much and he’d snapped. At least he’d apologized, and she’d forgiven him, but the maelstrom of the feelings he held for his sister-in-law almost guaranteed that it would happen again.

Once she was married and out of the house, and he wasn’t sitting across from her for every meal, he’d be better. They’d remain friends, of course. Emma wouldn’t allow anything else, but her new husband would certainly not allow her to spend so much time in his presence, brother-in-law or no.

“Jones,” a voice called, before Killian heard a clearing of a throat. “Er, Kilmartin, rather. So sorry.”

Killian looked up to see Baron Victor Whale, an acquaintance from Cambridge. “Think nothing of it,” he said, motioning to the chair across from him.

“Splendid to see you back in London,” Victor said, taking his seat. “I trust your journey home was uneventful.”

“It was,” Killian replied. “Thank you.”

They exchanged the most basic of pleasantries until Victor got to the point. “I understand Lady Kilmartin is in the market for a husband.”

It was a very good thing Killian was so well versed in keeping his true feelings hidden, because the baron’s words and the gleam in his eyes made the alcohol in his stomach sour, and he had to fight to keep his countenance even. No matter that he thought of little else in the last few days, hearing others speak of it was the very last thing he wanted to hear.

“Er, yes,” he replied, taking a sip of his drink. “I believe she is.”

“Splendid.” The smile on Victor’s face grew and Killian steeled himself for his next words. “Will you dower her?”

Killian’s eyebrows jumped on his head in surprise. “What?” It hadn’t even occurred to him. Good God, he’d probably have to give her away at the wedding.

“Will you dower her?” he repeated.

“Of course,” he bit out, holding on to his temper by the most tenuous of threads.

“Her brother said the same.” Killian feared for his teeth if he ground them any harder. If Victor thought he had any chance of gaining Emma’s hand and her apparently double dowry, he had another thing coming. He’d been a frequent visitor to the track back in their university days, and he doubted that had changed appreciatively since then. He was very likely impoverished and looking for an heiress to save him from ruin.

“The Jones’ will care for her,” Killian replied through grit teeth.

Victor shrugged. “Apparently, the Nolan’s will as well. Well, good seeing you again, Kilmartin,” he said, standing. “I must be off to tell Cheshire the news. Not that I want the competition, but this won’t stay under wraps for long. Might as well be the one to start its spread.” He laughed and Killian glared as he walked away.

Killian looked down at the empty glass in his hand. Damn, he’d already drunk it all. He signaled for another and then heard his name again. He did his best to hide his irritation, but this time wasn’t entirely sure he succeeded.

“Good evening, Kilmartin.” The voice belonged to Earl Arthur Stone. The man was familiar to him, of course, enough that a friendly conversation in the club wouldn’t draw undue attention, but he often reminded Killian of a strutting peacock, and after his floral delivery this morning, there was little doubt why he was seeking Killian out this evening.

“Stone,” he greeted, motioning to the chair Whale had recently vacated. He was only a bit more circumspect than Whale had been, engaging him in pleasantries for a full five minutes before bringing up his true purpose.

“I called upon Lady Kilmartin this afternoon,” he informed Killian.

“Did you?” he replied, nonplussed. He may not have been in the house when Stone called, wanting to spare himself the parade of suitors that seemed inevitable after the floral display that morning, but he wasn’t a fool.

“She’s lovely,” Arthur continued, when it became clear Killian had nothing else to say in light of his revelation.

“She is indeed.” Killian swirled his fresh drink and brought it to his lips, his eyes never leaving the man across from him.

Stone cleared his throat and spoke again. “I intend to court her, you know.”

Killian pierced him with a stare and was gratified to see just a slight bit of discomfort at his scrutiny.

“Well, if I didn’t, I certainly do now.”

Stone pulled at his cravat. “I wasn’t sure whether to inform you or her brother.”

Killian had no doubt David Nolan, the viscount and Emma’s eldest brother, would have no trouble determining the worth of potential suitors. But as her higher ranking relative, it’d be customary for him to be informed first by those same suitors.

“I am sufficient.”

“Excellent.” He took a sip of his drink and cleared his throat, a bit nervously in Killian’s opinion.

“Stone!” a rather jovial voice called. “And Kilmartin, too! What a surprise to see you!” It was Lord Cassidy. And if he wasn’t drunk yet, he was close to it.

Killian refrained from rolling his eyes at the man’s statement, as he took a seat between himself and Arthur.

“When did you get back to London?” Cassidy asked, taking a sip of his drink.

“I’ve been back about a month,” Killian replied. He realized his glass was empty again and signaled for another. He was going to need it.

Cassidy nodded several times in quick succession. “And Lady Kilmartin, as well, I see,” he continued. “Finally out of mourning, yes? She wore blue last night,” he said, answering his own question.

“She looked quite lovely,” Stone added.

“Indeed, indeed,” Cassidy nodded again. “A fine woman. Why, I’d go after her myself if I wasn’t already shackled to Lady Cassidy.”

Small favors, Killian thought, barely able to keep himself from rolling his eyes in annoyance. He couldn’t imagine being faced with a potential suit from the buffoon in front of him.

“How long did she mourn the old earl?” he asked and Killian bristled.

“Four years,” he bit out. “My brother died four years ago.”

“Whatever,” Cassidy replied, blatantly ignoring Killian’s emphasis on his relationship to the old earl. “It was a bloody long time.” He shrugged. “All the same to us though. She wasn’t looking for a husband until now.”

“No,” Killian said. If only because Cassidy had actually stopped to take a breath.

“The men are going to be after her like bees to flowers.” He drew out the s so that it sounded like a long zzzzz. “Beezzzz to honey, I say. And there hasn’t been a hint of scandal about her in all that time.”

“Of course not!” Stone sounded shocked and Killian ground his teeth wondering where Cassidy was going with this.

“Not like some of the widows out and about, eh?” he continued, elbowing Killian and shooting him a significant look. “If you know what I mean.”

Killian looked him square in the face and speared him with a stare that would have sent his underlings back in India scurrying, but which he was afraid Lord Cassidy was a bit too obtuse, or a bit too drunk to notice.

“What, exactly, do you mean, Cassidy?” he asked, a hard edge to his voice.

“It’s like…” He leaned in conspiratorially and his grin turned salacious. “It’s like…”

“Oh, for God’s sake, man. Spit it out,” Killian growled.

“I’ll tell you what it’s like,” he repeated, his grin turning into a leer. “It’s like you’re getting a virgin who knows what to do.”

“What did you say?” Killian’s voice was deadly quiet.

“I said…”

“I would take care to not repeat what you just said, if I were you, Cassidy,” Stone tried to warn him.

“Eh? It’s no insult, I assure you,” Cassidy continued before finishing off his drink. “I mean, she’s been married, so you know she’s not untouched, but she hasn’t gone off and…”

“Stop now,” Killian ground out.

“What? Why? Everyone is saying it.”

“Not to me, they’re not.” If Cassidy was too dense to take the warning, then Killian was just going to have to cut his tongue out of his head. Or strangle him. “Not if they value their head.”

“Well, it’s better than saying she ain’t like a virgin,” Cassidy chortled, “If you know what I mean.”

Killian lunged.

“Good God, man,” Cassidy choked out, his back on the floor. Killian didn’t know how his hands came to be around the bastard’s neck, but he found he rather liked the way they looked there. “What… the hell… is wrong with you?”

“You will never,” he hissed, his face inches from Cassidy’s, “speak her name again. Do you understand me?” Cassidy tried to nod, but it only cut off his air supply more.

Killian released him and stood, wiping his hands on his pant legs as if wiping away something foul. “I will not tolerate Lady Kilmartin being spoken of in such disrespectful terms. Is that clear?”

Cassidy nodded and so did several onlookers.

“Good.” Killian decided now was a good time to vacate the premises, and so strode out of the room. Once in the hallway, he heard his name yet again and wondered who’d be so idiotic as to approach him when he was this angry. Will Nolan. Emma’s older brother. Damn.

“Kilmartin,” Will said, his customary knowing smirk firmly planted on his face.

“Nolan,” Killian greeted.

“I was having a quiet drink when I heard the commotion,” he said, motioning to the room Killian had just left. “Come join me.”

Killian may have wanted nothing more than to leave, but Will was Emma’s brother, so they were relations of a sort and he couldn’t get away with snubbing his invitation. Will had always unnerved him. They shared the same sort of reputation, that of the devil-may-care-rogue, but where Will was always cooed over by the society mamas because of his charm and wit, Killian had always been treated much more suspect. At least until he came into the title.

But Killian knew the man was sharp as a whip, and he had long suspected there was quite a bit of substance underneath Will’s always jovial exterior. If there was anyone in Emma’s family who might accurately guess Killian’s true feelings for Emma, it was Will.

Killian intended to share one drink with the man and leave.

“Fine evening, don’t you think?” Will asked, motioning for their drinks once Killian was settled in his seat, pretending to be comfortable. “Aside from Cassidy, obviously. He’s nothing but an ass.”

Of course, Killian agreed with the sentiment, but with Will watching him so carefully - even under the guise of friendly conversation - he could manage no more than a terse nod. Will cocked his head to the side just a bit and narrowed his eyes slightly. Almost as if to get a deeper look into his soul. Killian fought the urge to squirm.

“Thank you for defending Emma’s honor,” Will said quietly.

Killian didn’t know what he expected Will to say to him, but it certainly wasn’t that. It was his place to defend her honor, just as it would have been if any of the Nolan brothers had heard Cassidy’s despicable words.

“Emma deserves respect,” Killian replied, equally as quietly as their drinks arrived. Killian gave a nod of appreciation and took a sip. “I will not countenance anything less. From anyone.”

There was silence for a moment between the two men as they sipped their drinks.

“You could marry her, you know,” Will said easily. Killian nearly choked.

“I beg your pardon?” Killian was sputtering. Killian never sputtered.

“Marry her,” he repeated, moving forward just a bit, his gaze intense.

Killian realized it was too much to hope that Will was referring to anyone else except Emma, but he had to try.

“And who am I supposed to marry?”

The look on Will’s face was condescending in the extreme, mixed with a fair amount of pity as well. “Do we really need to play this game?”

“I can’t marry Emma!” he exclaimed.

“And why not?” He looked honestly puzzled and Killian felt his jaw opening and closing, not a word coming out of it.

“Because…” he trailed away, completely at a loss. Because that one simple statement made Killian realize that he could marry Emma. There was nothing illegal about it. There was only his own damn conscience. The conscience that maintained there was everything immoral about it.

She’d been married to his brother. The brother whose death gave him money, power, prestige, and a title. And if he compounded the utter betrayal of his brother - loving his wife - by then stealing her for his own, didn’t that mean he had somehow wished for Liam’s death?

And how could he possibly live with himself then?

Will sat back in his chair, his dark eyes still on Killian, watching and cataloging every muscle twitch, every eye movement, every emotion Killian was too shocked to keep hidden that worked their way across his face.

Will waved his hand dismissively, but without looking away. “I can see it’s a moot point anyway.”

That brought Killian’s swirling thoughts to an abrupt halt. There was something in the tone of his voice. Something biting and provoking. He met Will’s stare with his own, searching for clues as to the other man’s agenda. “And why is that?” he bit out.

Will took his time answering. He toyed with his glass, took a small sip, and continued to scrutinize Killian.

“Why is it a moot point?” Will finally repeated, his eyebrow raising in intrigue, just like Emma’s sometimes did. “Because you’re so clearly not interested in marrying her.”

Killian’s mouth opened for a quick, biting retort, but he shut it just as quickly when he realized he’d been about to say, Of course, I am.

He’d very nearly confessed the deepest desire of his heart to the brother of his beloved. And as he searched Will’s face, he knew that the man had somehow seen into the depths of his heart and mind and knew precisely how Killian felt about his sister.

“I must be going,” Killian blurted out, finishing his drink and rising to his feet.

“Of course,” Will said, affably. As if their conversation had been about nothing more important than the weather. “Think about what I said,” he murmured, as Killian strode purposefully toward the door.

As if he’d be able to think about anything else. For the rest of his life.

~*~*~

Thank you for reading and sharing! New ch will be up Wednesday!

#a scoundrel... or a gentleman?#krystal writes #inspired by francesca bridgerton's story #banner by snowbellewells #ch art by motherkatereloyshipper

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royal-they · 10 months ago

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okay so personal headcanon on why mike cut his hair, i personally think it's his way of handling - or not handling - his grief over eddie munson.

we know already that eddie inspired mike and dustin a lot to embrace their nerdier side. it also is clear that he got mike interested in alt culture quite a bit. which i think is really sweet honestly.

i also personally like the headcanon that many people had when volume one first came out that mike had a bit of a crush on eddie. bc it's honestly not that out there lmao.

hes completely infatuated. like everyone else in hellfire was laughing and agreeing with eddie and mikes just like smiling like an idiot the whole time. not a word is getting into his head. (similarly to the van scene)

basically, my headcanon is this. okay so mikes look in season four is him being inspired by eddie. okay, but what if mike had a tiny crush on eddie? what if this is not a, youre cool i want to look like you but a hey youre cool and i want you. which i feel like as a queer person - whos also trans - doesn't feel that out there at all.

mikes also VERY repressed, even taking his possible queerness out of the picture. never once is his trauma really brought up outside of maybe like season two? maybe? kind of?? like this kids seen supernatural monsters, tons of people dying, and being possessed and yeah he isn't able to talk about it bc of the government but like he also never talks about it with the other characters who already know about everything? lots of characters don't but i feel like mike especially doesn't talk about it. he just immediately starts trying to be el's boyfriend. or what he thinks el's boyfriend would be i guess is a better way to put it. bc as far as el's concerned i think he's doing a shit job.

so seeing dustin and mike react so differently is kinda not surprising at all. dustin really holds on to the memory of eddie, almost obsessively. like he's still walking around in his hellfire shirt that is literally ripped. dustin also literally saw eddie die so there's also that. (i kind of want to see lucas dustin and mike fight about this in season five ngl)

it's been said that there's going to be some sort of large time jump and it's not really clear yet how far that time jump is? so maybe mike just moved on faster, but honestly i find that really fucking hard to believe seeing how he handled el and wills "deaths."

so anyway, my point is. mike with short hair back to a style similar to his season 1/2 style? not very surprising. when you have trauma you tend to stay very fixated on the event. dustin saw eddie die, so he's stuck on that, even in how he dresses.

mike is worried about everyone leaving him constantly so someone that he looked up to dying who seemed invincible is going to fuck him up. he really hates growing up which is brought up a lot. so him kind of going back to a time before everything went to shit, when he was a lot younger isn't to crazy. they're both coping differently.

edit: mike also maybe realized, hmm this isn't making me feel more confident but i still like the way eddie looked like a lot- wait nope time to repress this. hahaha so straight i have a girlfriend yes very straight of me did you know i am straight

anyway. this isn't the most coherent theory/head canon but it's what i've been thinking about for the past week.

#byler #mike wheeler #dustin henderson #stranger things #im ill so forgive me if this makes no sense lmao

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campoverlook-if · 8 months ago

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Progress Update #4// 4/3/24

Hey everyone, just wanted to update you all on the story.

I've started a new process for the past few days where I write for two hours and then take fifteen-thirty minute breaks in between. I'm still blanking on what to write for a section sometimes, but I'm really trying not to have grayed out choices again. That was NOT fun.

Still, the writing process shouldn't be forced, but sometimes you just really need to kick your own ass and grab that text file by the ears. Plus, this is the most productive I've felt since getting my wisdom teeth removed.

In celebration of this new bout of inspiration, here's a sneak peek of an upcoming scene you may encounter in the update.

Alright, that's it. This girl can't just bully you away because she doesn't like you. You hadn't even done anything when she first started acting nasty towards you. Yes, you may have walked away in the middle of a conversation, but she had been so…aggressive. You weren't just going to stand there and take it, and you definitely weren't going to start now. So, you take a step closer to Claire, giving her a leveled glare of your own. "Last time I checked, this table doesn't belong to you." Tension quickly fills the air around the two of you. Claire doesn't respond to your retort, but she doesn't need to. Her body language gives you all the information you need to know.

Ooooh boi, what the hell did you do to make Claire this mad at you. And on the first day? Tragic.

Along with that we'll be getting into a few things before finally ending episode 1:

Reworked the gender system of the counselors. Now you can choose from the beginning how you want them to be.

Added the choice to be non-binary (a new batch of campers, hooyay!). Also need to add onto scenes with Asher, Claire, and Lucas.

Meeting the final two counselors (Ruby and Silas).

An added scene with E for returning MCs during your walk to the mess hall.

Going through orientation, including a fun scavenger hunt (Uncle Robert said it would be fun, don't believe him).

A small scene with your new roommates in your cabins.

I'm so excited just thinking about it, and I'm the one writing the dang story.

If you hadn't seen it yet, I answered an ask a little bit ago about doing visuals for the blog. I'm not the best at visual media (that's more my mother's thing) but I can use a character maker like a mf if I have too.

It was kinda nice, a little limiting, but it was surprisingly helpful for me to have it. I've thought about how these characters look for so long it's strange to suddenly see them brought to life in any type of way except text. The character bios have been updated with these pictures now.

(UPDATE: LITERALLY MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT DECISION: SLEEP DEPRIVED AF BEHAVIOR)

So, I wrote this update yeaterday and was planning for it to just post through queue like I normally do, but the situation has changed. The demo will be updated again, however the stopping point is literally the same. The only major changes are the gender system, adding being non-binary, and having everything on one file (pray for me). The stopping point is still the same.

All in all the word count is now at this point: 57k (W/O Code), 14K (average). Not a huge jump average wise, but I'm happy anyway.

Link to demo here.

(END OF EMERGENCY UPDATE)

That's all I wanted to talk about for now, if you run into any bugs just let me know and I'll fix it lickity split.

See you all on the next update!

P.S. - I love it when new people follow and only like the posts of certain counselors. I know who you're into now ;).

#camp overlook #update #interactive fiction #if wip #updates

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burins · 11 months ago

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as promised the separate comics/graphic novels roundup for 2023! this is a normal post until May when I realized I could (as a graphic novel librarian) become an Eisner voter and read 54 comics in a month (and then slightly less so in August when the Harveys came up.) below a cut because it's heinously long. I'll include my little write-ups and some panels right after my faves

JANUARY

Under the Red Hood by Judd Winick and Doug Mahnke I read this January second. Begin as you mean to go on! For all its flaws (Dick's Squidward face) the emotional arc of this story puts me right into the pit about Jason Todd.

Superman: Reign of the Supermen by Dan Jurgens and others

Batman/Superman: World’s Finest (ongoing) by Mark Waid, Dan Mora, and Travis Moore First off Dan Mora draws everyone like the most beautiful people in the world, which never hurts to look at. But also this is just a really fun comic! The action is fun the characters are very sweet and we get an honest to god Superbat gem fusion

Young Justice (1998) by Peter David and Todd Nauck MY CHILDREN! I was finishing up my Tim readthrough and was so delighted to meet Kon and Cassie and Bart and Cissie and Anita (I still don't care for Lobo.) Nauck's art is cartoony in a way that fits the comic really well.

Red Robin by Christopher Yost, Fabian Nicieza, Ramón Bachs, and Marcus To THEEEEE ARC for Tim. Everyone says read Red Robin. Yes read Red Robin but also understand this is him at his worst and most scrungly. This is not normal Tim. This is Tim's failgirl era.

Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day by Judd Winick and Ale Garza

MARCH

You and a Bike and a Road by Eleanor Davis Beautiful little memoir comic about biking across the US, and also about borders and travel and isolation/togetherness.

Superman for All Seasons by Jeph Loeb, Tim Sale, and Bjarne Hansen I love this comic. Tim Sale draws Clark like the biggest, softest person you've ever seen, and Bjarne Hansen's colors are so gentle. (if you remember the rock metaphor from mission parameters, it's inspired by this scene from Book 1: Spring)

APRIL

Superman: Lost by Christopher Priest and Carlos Parlaguyan (ongoing) This series cuts right to the horror of being Superman and also the horror of being Lois Lane SO deftly. a few plot points I don't love but overall God it makes me miserable

Birds of Maine by Michael Deforge A delightful, dreamy collection of comics about birds living in a utopian society on the moon. The art is weird, the story is weird, everything about it is lovely.

MAY

Divinity v1-2 by Matt Kindt and Trevor Hairsine

The City of Belgium by Brecht Evans This is not a perfect graphic novel but the stuff it does with art and page and rhythm is so so phenomenal.

Lights, Planets, People! by Lizzy Stewart and Molly Naylor

Killadelphia v1-3 by Rodney Barnes, Jason Shawn Alexander, and Christopher Mitten

The Department of Truth v1-4 by James Tynion IV and Martin Simmonds This is a book about conspiracy theories and it is DEEPLY unsettling. Martin Simmonds' art makes me legitimately queasy to look at. Really really good but also it did send me into a little spiral for a bit.

Supergirl Woman of Tomorrow by Tom King and Bilquis Evely (Mat Lopes' colors also deserve a shoutout) This book made me cry! Also I have yet to read another Kara comic because this one was so good and I'm afraid the others won't be. She's sharp and angry in all the best ways and also deeply deeply caring and good. Capes meets space fantasy at its best. I would die for Ruthye

Nightwing (2016) v1-2 by Tom Taylor and Bruno Redondo

Batman: One Bad Day: The Riddler by Tom King and Mitch Gerads

She-Hulk (2022) v1-2 by Rainbow Rowell, Luca Maresca, Rogê Antônio, and Takeshi Miyazawa

Superman: Space Age by Mike Russell and Michael Allred

Revenge of the Librarians by Tom Gauld

Pinball: A Graphic History of the Silver Ball by Jon Chad

Down to the Bone: A Leukemia Story by Catherine Pioli

So Much for Love: How I Survived a Toxic Relationship by Sophie Lambda

Welcome to St. Hell: My Trans Teen Misadventure by Lewis Hancox

Chef’s Kiss by Jarrett Melendez and Danica Brine

Wash Day Diaries by Jamila Rowser and Robyn Smith

Animal Castle v1 by Xavier Dorison and Felix Delep

Bungleton Green and the Mystic Commandos by Jay Jackson

Flung Out of Space: Inspired by the Indecent Adventures of Patricia Highsmith by Grace Ellis and Hannah Templer Masterclass in writing a biopic that doesn't shy away from its subject's being kind of a wretched person while also producing art that is deeply meaningful to many, many people.

Rain by Joe Hill and Zoe Thorogood

Tiki: A Very Ruff Year by David Azencot and Fred Leclerc

Ten Days in a Madhouse by Nellie Bly, adapted by Brad Ricca and Courtney Sieh

Ultrasound by Conor Stechschulte

Tori Amos: Little Earthquakes, The Graphic Album (various)

A Visit to Moscow by Rabbi Rafael Grossman, adapted by Anna Olswanger and Yevgenia Nayberg

Look Back by Tatsuki Fujimoto

Shuna’s Journey by Hayao Miyazaki

Come Over Come Over by Lynda Barry

It’s So Magic by Lynda Barry

My Perfect Life by Lynda Barry What a lovely collection of comics. Barry captures being a teen in all its mess and glory.

Macanudo: Welcome to Elsewhere by Liniers

Always Never by Jordi Lafebre

The Pass by Espé

Mary Jane and Black Cat Beyond

Moon Knight: Black, White and Blood by Jed Mackay and Carlos Villa

The Nice House on the Lake v1-2 by James Tynion IV and Álvaro Martínez Bueno (Jordie Bellaire colors) I know Tynion can do horror, but he really really can do horror. This is like Glass Onion meets the worst nightmare you've ever had, and the way it unfolds is masterful. Martínez Bueno's art is dreamy and unsettling, especially combined with Bellaire who colors like she's painting oil slicks.

A Vicious Circle by Mattson Tomlin and Lee Bermejo

Booster Gold (1986) by Dan Jurgens Booster my friend Booster. I really didn't expect this to be as FUN as it is! There are occasional storylines that drag but overall a delight.

The Human Target v1-2 by Tom King and Greg Smallwood

Heartstopper v2-4 by Alice Oseman

Killer Queens by David Booher and Claudia Balboni

I Hate This Place v1 by Kyle Starks and Artyom Topilin I really need to read v2 because this was so fun. Queer backwoods horror, sarcastic, delightful, and never heavy-handed. I read this right after Killer Queens, which read like someone fed a bunch of Drag Race episodes and 2012 tumblr posts into a comics generator, and Heartstopper, which was so blandly unobjectionable I actually forgot I'd read it, so I Hate This Place felt refreshing as hell. (actually while looking up screencaps I remember why I didn't read v2 which is that v1 has a LOT of gore and body horror and I gotta be careful with that stuff. however if you like a slasher go forth)

It’s Lonely at the Center of the Earth by Zoe Thorogood Gut punch on every page. Thorogood's art is weird and wild. It does feel a bit as though she's opened up her ribs for us to peruse.

Chivalry by Neil Gaiman and Colleen Doran

Sensory: Life on the Spectrum (various)

Cryptid Club by Sarah Andersen

Public Domain v1 by Chip Zdarsky

Love Everlasting v1 by Tom King and Elsa Charretier

Mazebook by Jeff Lemire A twisting fable about grief and the paths it takes you down. A lot of the Eisner noms had dead wives or daughters which I began to resent, but I gave this a pass because it was really, really beautiful.

Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands by Kate Beaton Everyone has told you it's good! oh it's good. Beaton's style, which I associate more with her humor work, at first feels somewhat at war with the subject matter, but it ended up really working for me.

Days of Sand by Aimee DeJongh

Talk to My Back by Yamada Murasaki This was one of my favorite books of the whole year. Beautiful meditation on the compromises of marriage and motherhood in beautiful, sparse drawings that lingered with me long after I'd finished reading.

Crushing by Sophie Burrows

JUNE

Do a Powerbomb by Daniel Warren Johnson Do you like wrestling? I don't really care about it, but I do love weird wacky stories about grief and trying to fight your way through the afterlife to get your mom back. Both hilarious and poignant. The art is as bombastic as it needs to be.

The Night Eaters v1 by Marjorie Liu and Sana Takeda Liu and Takeda are back! This time with some horror about a pair of siblings and their fucked up parents. Great stuff.

Ripple Effects by Jordan Hart and Bruno Chiroleu

Superman: Up in the Sky by Tom King and Andy Kubert Oh the Clark Kent of it all. the panel where Clark is calling home from alien customs because he has flown to the ends of the universe for one little girl is really what got me in this one

Kingdom Come by Mark Waid and Alex Ross

Superman: American Alien by Max Landis and various artists

Superman Red and Blue (anthology) This is a whole lot of writers and a whole lot of artists and all of them are excellent. Once again the Clark Kent emotion is happening to me.

JULY

Superman: Birthright by Mark Waid and Leinil Francis Yu

Superman (2011) v5-6 by Greg Pak and Aaron Kuder

Superman: Warworld by Philip Kennedy Johnson and various artists

Justice League International by Keith Giffen, J. M. DeMatteis, and Kevin Maguire Booster my friend Booster is here and also so are all of my other new friends. I loved the initial run (though it has its weak spots) but then I had to slog through a lot of very bad later stuff.

AUGUST

Blue and Gold by Dan Jurgens and Ryan Sook

New Teen Titans (various Brother Blood issues) by Marv Wolfman and George Pérez

Acting Class by Nick Drnaso

Follow Me Down: A Reckless Book by Ed Brubaker

Girl Juice by Benji Nate

Little Monsters v1 by Jeff Lemire and Dustin Nguyen

Mimosa by Archie Bongiovanni

Who Will Make the Pancakes by Megan Kelso

Cat + Gamer by Wataru Nadatani

Goodbye, Eri by Tatsuki Fujimoto

Spy x Family v1-2 by Tatsuya Endo

Alice on the Run: One Child’s Journey Through the Rwandan Civil War by Gaspard Talmasse

Ashes by Álvaro Ortiz

The Extraordinary Part: Book One: Orsay’s Hands by Florent Ruppert and Jérôme Mulot The art and story here are simply so fabulous. A better world is possible and sometimes you have to take direct action to make it!

SEPTEMBER

Batman RIP by Grant Morrison and Tony S. Daniel

Batman Incorporated by Grant Morrison and Chris Burnham

Batman and Robin (2011) by Peter J. Tomasi and Patrick Gleason I've talked about this one before but I think it is truly one of my favorite depictions of Bruce as father in all the ways he succeeds and all the ways he fails. John Kalisz's luminous colors also deserve a shoutout.

OCTOBER

Batman: Failsafe and Gotham War by literally everyone currently working in DC but especially Zdarsky

Birds of Prey (1999) by Chuck Dixon and then Gail Simone and a number of other people (this continued into November and December) This made the worms in my brain wriggle so bad that I wrote a whole yuri zine piece about Dinah and Babs, coming to a PDF (or physical copy!) near you soon!

DECEMBER

Dungeon Meshi v1-11 by Ryoko Kui Is it romantic to devour and be devoured in turn? Ryoko Kui sure thinks so. I was hungry the whole time I was making these my bedtime reading.

Through the Woods by Emily Carroll Emily Carroll is among the best to ever do it. This collection of stories is her at her unsettling best.

When I Arrived at the Castle by Emily Carroll

Batgirl (2000) v1-3 by Kelley Puckett and Damion Scott thanks to Mssrs Puckett and Scott I am now fully unhinged about Cass Cain and her quest for immolation. the art in this is so stylized but so well-done, especially given how little text is in much of the series. when the paneling hits it HITS.

Bruce Wayne Murderer/Fugitive by everyone working at DC in 2002 When a good crossover storyline works, it really really works. I love to see Bruce completely blow up his life because he doesn't see any point in existing outside the cowl anymore. Even more do I love to see the fallout from this on everyone who loves him! delight delight delight.

and that's everything I read this year!! god there was a lot of it. I liked a lot of the stuff I didn't bold, but also I hated some of it. please feel free to talk to me about any of it!!!

#comics not even once #book roundups

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stevie-petey · 8 months ago

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I wanna send in head cannons too! Sorry this is long as shit❤️

Steve used to flex having a pool so the other kids would wanna come over.

Bug thinks of really good, snarky, clever comebacks but never say any of them out loud cause she feels mean when she does

Jonathan taught but how to drive, he nearly had a heart attack but he still taught her ( neither can parallel park)

Nancy used to wear glasses but stopped in the beginning of highschool out of embarrassment

Bug never thought about her looks until highschool, she was always a bit of a tomboy but growing up her style kinda changed into a more feminine one. She doesn't think she's pretty. She doesn't think she's ugly either, but she rarely feels pretty.

Will feels awkward around Steve. He knows that something happened with him and Jonathan, and him even though he doesn't know what it was he still feels conflicted. Steve will give all the kids rides and will just sits quietly while the rest of the group talks over each other.

Bugs nightmares got worse after going into the tunnels. All she sees is will running around desperately trying to crawl out. Sometimes she's in there with him but they just keep going in circles and she can't get him out.

Bug put glow in the dark stars on her ceiling for Jonathan. Now whenever Steve comes over he can't feel comfort in the light because he knows it wasn't meant for him.

Mike and bug definitely do some mad scientist shit. Mike thinks up crazy things and bug is too curious to stop him. Yes they have causes small fires, no one was hurt but flammables have been hidden inside the wheeler home. ( You blow up one toaster suddenly you're not allowed to use one unsupervised)

Steve plays basketball with Lucas and teaches him everything he knows.

Dustin puts flowers or little trinkets on/ near mews grave. Not enough to cause suspicion from his mom, but enough to show his remorse.

At any family reunion if there's a baby Steve will be holding them. If they cry he'll spend the rest of the time trying to cheer them up. ( His baby cousins cry when they have to leave and want to stay with him)

Max and El look up to bug as an older sister. Max thinks bug is the bravest person ever, she inspired max to stand up to Billy (the most she can) and El loves how strong bug is. El and max will beg to sleepover and now have " sleep over at moms"

Steve wakes up to bug sitting on the floor reading comics in the middle of the night. No matter how tired he is he'll always join her and laugh at all her " nerd knowledge" ( " did you know there's a comic where peters radioactive semen kills MJ?" " Angel what the fuck is wrong with you?" " Well I didn't write it." )

oh jon 1000% taught bug how to drive and it was the closest theyve ever been to ending their friendship and they had to agree to never talk about the experience ever again (will and dustin had joined for fun and were left traumatized)

steve and babies ,,,, my HEART

all of these are wonderful and lovely and painful (the glow in the dark stars ,,, how dare u) and the mike and bug mad scientists thing made me giggle theyre the same person tbh and no one encourages mike and also berates mike more than bug and their science experiments are proof of that LMAO

#ask #anon #m speaks #ch headcanons #now we have a tag !!

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klebald · 16 days ago

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no worries! I'm glad you got some sleep, or are getting sleep if you're still sleeping.

yeah, I am!! it's fun but also really tiring physically. I can NOT tell you how many times I've come home with sore legs, whether that's from marching or PT (essentially phys. ed but 10x worse). it's easier, yes, and a lot quieter. though, I do still prefer wearing hearing protection while on the range. as for the army - truthfully, I don't want to join. if I end up joining the military, which is unlikely do to me being autistic and the military not exactly liking disabled people, I'm gonna join the navy.

I agree. minecraft is the most regular game, in my opinion. I hope you get to play soon!! :) how did DDR go? scenic walks are the best, honestly. I think the highway can be scenic, in some cases. maybe! my cat used to follow me wherever I went (I had to stop him from getting on the school bus with me multiple times, it was crazy) so he stayed pretty thin, so I don't know. they make cat leashes apparently. if you do decide to bring him, be careful not to let him get lost :)./lh

I think I describe them as little accomplishments because I've seen so much better — from myself and others. who knows. I'm glad you find it inspiring!! :) I often don't have the energy, especially after theatre. I'm doing tech this show, which is arguably more tiring. you're on your feet the whole show and get next to no time to sit down for a second or get some water. it's fun though, don't get me wrong. those are typically my days where I run less. my most is currently 9 miles over the course of a few hours, including taking breaks.

I hope so. you seem very indifferent about it, I honestly am jealous about it. I'd be freaking out. I also listen to rock!! mainly 'softer' rock, i guess is the term. specifically Red Hot Chili Peppers and Sublime, though some argue it falls more under the ska category. I think it can go in both, so do with that what you will. I'm usually either listening to rock, r&b, or midwest emo. I heart mccafferty 🙂. this is quite a bit longer than I had intended. I've noticed that as we continue to talk, our asks get longer.

I am getting back to this pretty late, I suppose that means that I did sleep well. Physical exhaustion can be fun in certain circumstances, and to me, that sounds like one of them. I didn't realize that you also marched. Between that, shooting, and the array of other things that we have discussed, you seem skilled in the aspect of busying yourself, and finding ways to minimize how inconvenient that might be. I also dislike how loud shooting can be. The Army, in truth, I wouldn't want to join, either. It is a lot of work, most things are, and being in the same circumstance as yourself, I would likely not be allowed to in the first place. Both the Navy and the Army may go on to fascinate me from afar, militia holds an allure I shall only watch over. If you decide on pursuing the Navy, which you do not seem entirely keen on, I hope that it treats you favorably. DDR was very fun, by the way, as I assume Minecraft to be for you. I am getting better and better with time, I have been "practicing" at home with timing by playing other rhythm games using my fingers - I would like to get a StepManiaX pad one day, it would mean I could play at home, though unfortunately, that would require having a PC. The highway that I have in mind is not incredibly photogenic, however, everything else in my surroundings makes up for it. Our cats seem to be vastly different, my poor boy will barely climb onto my bed to see me when I visit (though I am guessing that is because he wants to be picked up and held like a baby), and yet yours will follow you to the school bus. Incredibly contrasting. Miss Luca is much better about doing things on her own, she expresses independence in the way you would actually assume a cat to. Even if I would never, ever take Hercules outside in my right mind, on a leash or not, as you taught me of their existance, though he would look quite silly, it is fun to pretend he's so terribly obese that he needs to go on mandated walks. Considerate of us, hehehe.

To some, what they consider to be walking up a hill is to a passerby scaling a mountain. I certainly find your routine to be more extensive than my own, hence my awe. Allow yourself some credit, you are the better that you see in others to many. I do not think that I will have theatre for quite some time, however, I do have film production next semester, meaning I might happen upon similar circumstance working in tech. I hope that I get to focus on sound design and, you know, all of the behind-the-scenes button pressing stuff at some point, being the sound guy sounds just as fun as filming to me. I wish you the best of luck in manning the tech yourself! Let yourself rest after the fact, you are obviously deserving of it. Nine miles of running sounds exhausting as only an understatement; I could not imagine what being on stage like that is like if you are able to do that. Your endurance is enviable. My indifference on the situation stems from the fact it cannot possibly go anywhere else. It is said and done, bluntly. On the topic of music, soft rock is something that I enjoy quite a bit of myself. Sublime and Red Hot Chili Peppers I listen to quite a bit, moreso Sublime, but whatever you would call it, Soft Rock or Ska, I find myself partial to. It's great. If you like Sublime, you should listen to 311. They sound incredibly similar, even if Eric Harris hates them, LOLOL. I think R&B is one of the only genres I cannot get myself into as fully as the other things that I listen to, but that isn't to say at times I don't tolerate it. Midwest emo I am shamefully interested in, every couple of months... Mom Jeans, La Dispute, et. cetera. It is not always my thing. Right now, I've been listening to a lot of Sonic Youth and too much Ministry. Sonic Youth is on as I am writing this, writing music is too easy not to rely on. As long as we both made these, I cannot say I mind very much. You are forgiven! I haven't much to say, in reality, but I tried to make this about as long as you did while also "keeping it short", nonsensical, I know. I hope that your day has been well today!

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oh-surprise-its-me · 1 year ago

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ER nurse Jake 😍😍😍

He says he's been inspired by Lucas,and yes, he had a bit of blame in that, but also he saw his dads, especially Ron, get hurt too many times, and always felt so helpless when he was younger... he vaginally blurted put he wanted to become a nurse like uncle Lucas when he was like 12. Never chang3d his mind, not really. 🥺

I’m literally obsessed with this au right now It’s infected my brain 😭

Jake tumbled out of the car, Chris shouts to slow down and grab his bag. Jake doesn’t ignore his dad real often but today is one of those days. He keeps running. Tom had the sense to throw the keys at Jake, who slams into the house and tears down the hall to his dads bedroom.

“Pa! I won the game and I knocked someone’s tooth out!”

Ron grins at their kid. He’s going to hear it from Chris and Tom later but oh well. “Chickie! Oh my god! I’m so proud of you!” He opens his arms and suddenly has arms full of 12 year old kid.

Chris tosses the bag into Jake’s room. He gets why Jake didn’t listen. They got home three days ago. Ron worse for wear. Chris and Tom had to convince Jake to go to this game.

They both trail down the hallway to the bedroom. It’s hard to look at Ron at points because he looks so weak. Getting held prisoner would do that to you though.

Jake throws himself out of Ron’s arms. “Hey! You cant hold me like that! Uncle Lucas said your ribs are fucked!”

Tom snorts, he lets the swear pass because Lucas did indeed say they were fucked. They all slide into bed next to Ron. Jake crawls onto Chris. “Can I talk?”

Ron laughs. “Anytime chickie. Go nuts.”

Jake twirls the string he has in his hands. “I wanna be a nurse like uncle Lucas. I’d get to help people like papa. You too dad and tata! Just papa gets hurt more!” Chris laughs. Oh god their kid. “Baby I think that’s a great idea.” Tom nods. “You’d be good at it.”

Ron is the last to talk. They’ve all treated Jake like a person for years. “You sure?” Jake nods. “I know it would be hard but it’s worth it.” Ron smiles at him. He brushes the mop of curly hair out of Jake’s eyes. “Then you do whatever you want to chickie. We’ll support you doing anything and everything.”

“Can I become a Stripper?” Tom chokes on the water he was drinking “no. Why the hell did you ask that.”

Jake tilts his head. “Uncle Wolf said uncle Holly looked like one last time I was over.”

Chris shakes his head. “I’m gonna kill those two clowns.” “Oh! Can I be a clown!” Tom stares at their kid for a second. “Fuck no. No clowns. Anything else is fine you’re not allowed to be a goddamn clown.”

“Papa can we start a swear jar?” Ron laughs. “Yeah baby. We’ll all put ten dollars in just to even it out.

Jake nods. He slips off of Chris’s lap and curls under Ron’s arm. “Gonna be an ER nurse still. Wanna save people.” They all press a kiss to his head. “Then do it baby.” Jake nods. He drifts off, exhausted from hockey. His three dads all look at each other.

“Stripper?” “Clown?”

Chris flicks both of their ears. “ER nurse. He’d be incredible at it.” They both nod. Ron looks down at their kid. “Weird to think how small he used to be.” Tom smiles at him. “He’s a big kid now.”

The cat jumps onto the bed. It curls around Jake leg. They all lay down like that. Chris and Tom both know they should get dinner started but it’s starting to feel like a take out dinner kind of night.

#ron slider kerner #chris seresin #tom iceman kazansky #top gun #ron x chris x tom #tom x ron x chris #young jake seresin #jake hangman seresin #slider is jake’s dad #er nurse jake #mac writes top gun

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meljwrites · 5 months ago

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did you read the new pride interview? are they saying hayray go on a trip together or that the actors had a hiatus after such a long storyline?

Yes and I loved it!! I posted most of the photos in its own post :) - i love what kieron and jeremy said!!

For HayRay:

The couple are now in a strong place, with Oscar promising some happier, quieter times. ‘There is a happy ending – for now, definitely [...] We’re working on a little trip, a little hiatus for Lucas and Dillon, it’s much needed after all the drama and everything so we’re really just grafting towards that.' -

https://metro.co.uk/2024/06/26/hollyoaks-cast-share-inspiring-lgbtq-journeys-21103544/?ico=mosaic_hollyoaks

I think so, I guess if they do the actors would also get a break!!

They would be solidly together off screen for a bit, and they wouldn't have to just be in their houses while other stories happen, it would be nice.

#reminds me of my weekend in london with my ex #lil gay couple holidays are good for the soul #i hope they have fun!!#also its kind of funny that whenever i get a tonne of asks about something we almost immediately get confirmation #like did i or did i not just say that they would pull a mcdean #ask #hollyoaks #hayray #lucas hay #dillon ray

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antisociallilbrat · 2 years ago

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Comparing IT Losers Club and the Party is interesting character-wise. Which Party members represent which Losers Club in your opinion?

I have been waiting for someone to ask me this, thank you anon, you're encouraging my nonsense.

As Entrapta from spop said: “You're asking me about my theories? I've waited years for someone to ask me about my theories! Hang on, I made a model.”

So long story short, Suffer Brother wanted to direct the It remake, they got denied and so they went and made St instead. Here's an article on this, read it, it's interesting despite being dated.

They took a lot inspiration from It and this reflects in The Party in season one. I'm going to compare The Party to The Losers from how they were portrayed in season one- so no Max. Because while The Losers were the blueprint for The Party, they did grow into their own characters as the seasons went on. Also season one of St came out before the It remake the Suffer Brother's would've pulled from the It book and/or the miniseries.

Mike: he is so Bill Denbrough coded. He's kinda like the unspoken leader (this goes away after season one though I feel like) of the Party. He's the Dm after all (again, season one) He's protective of the ones he loves and is willing to go to extremes to protect them. The cliff scene. He's picked on but not to the extent his other friends are. Also he gets the girl, Billverly anyone? yes I know, I'm talking season one only

Dustin: Him and Richie would be horrible in the same room together. They're similar in their humor. He's also is a bit like Mike H, the peacekeeper. The unit that keeps everyone together, Mike calling everyone back to Derry and Dustin trying to get Lucas and Mike to make amends after their fight. And him and Mike are both kinda nerds. Well kinda for Mike H, Dustin is a nerd.

Lucas: He, like Dustin, is Richie coded. Not so much Richie's humor but more his determination, his strong personality? His fight with Mike in season one is very reminiscent of Bill and Richie's fight. Although again, St came out before the It remake so I'm talking more about how their personalities could clash in the other It medias. The two are like brothers, Mike and Lucas & Bill and Richie. I would even say he's a little bit, just a bit, like Stan, wary of the unknown and supernatural, like how he was with El. After season one he's nothing like Stan though.

Will: he's so Eddie. He is Eddie if Eddie had a good mom. Will had to be brave to face the monsters, just like Eddie had to to be against It. Physically on the smaller side, like Eddie, but he will fight for his friends and his life. But I feel his more reserved personality is more reminiscent of Ben. He's the happiest around his friends, like Ben, and he honestly just wants them to be happy too. Also they're both creative people.

El: She's kinda hard to say but she is Bev coded. The abusive father figure, running into a bunch of boys that accept her despite reasons not to-El having powers and Bev and the rumors about her, and they both end up with the 'leader' at first. But Bev ended up with Ben as adults. Will, El, and Mike is comparable to the to the Bill, Bev, and Ben love triangle so we'll see what happens. (NO I'm not saying she's ending up with Will, do not misconstrued what I am saying, you know what I mean)

I have not read the It book, just bits and pieces here and there and listened to some of the audio book. So I would love to hear from someone who has read It and has different opinions!

There are other parallels I could talk about bc I am feral for this stuff, thank you again anon for asking me this!

#lovelovelove fandom discussion #sam answers asks #mike wheeler #will byers #lucas sinclair #dustin henderson #eleven hopper #stranger things #bill denbrough #stanley uris #ben hanscom #beverly marsh #mike hanlon #eddie kaspbrack #richie tozier #it 201 7 #it 2019 #it 1990

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masterofrecords · 1 year ago

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Ask gameee

1. Share a song that makes you think of [fic title]

17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

And 18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

Ah, thank you!

1. Well, you didn't specify which fic, but that doesn't really matter because... uh... I don't really have one, whatever you ask about? Like I mentioned in a previous ask game, I don't listen to a lot of songs that have lyrics, and if I borrow any lines from titles, it's almost always from poems rather than songs. Like, I cannot impress how much I'm not a person to make character or fic playlists. I know some authors who do, and that genuinely blows my mind, I have so much respect for some people who can actually think of actual songs when writing instead of purely Vibes.

17. I learned a lot while writing! A lot on bird behavior, for example, and also how stuff like country fairs work. For Aquarium I obviously research a lot of octopus and eel biology (like that post about the Large Pacific Striped octopus - that was one of the first things I learned when doing preliminary research around the start of the fic, or the eel teeth stuff that I promised a separate post on and never actually wrote it) I occasionally research language stuff, too. I do not want to think of the implications of NRC actually hosting students with very different native languages (that's a disaster waiting to happen - even if some people, like Leona, Kalim, Vil, Rook, etc. would have access to good education pre-NRC, that's far from the truth for a lot of other students. What about Deuce? Ruggie? They're 16 when they start, too, and we have no indication that anything but magical prowess (and possibly trauma) are the criteria for getting admitted. Like, even at university level, studying in a language you don't know too well, even if it means living surrounded by that language, is extremely hard and usually means, well, that the studying part doesn't go very well (I've seen that both first-hand and in friends' accounts). Anyway, as you can see, the concept of languages in twst gives me a massive headache because while it's explicitly said that different languages exist, it's very unclear how exactly. I get that it's a conventionality born out of the game being primarily in a single language; but as with many things fairy tale cough - mer biology - cough if you think about it long enough it stops making sense. So I don't.) Still, I do try to give the characters colloquialisms and stuff more fitting for the culture they're inspired by - and that means researching quite a lot of idioms. I think the hardest bit of research I have to do is Floyd's nicknames for the NPCs. I'm not super knowledgeable about fish, so coming up with a name fitting a character can be hard.

18. I'll be very honest, I'm quite proud of the last line of the currently last chapter of Aquarium (28). I wanted it to elicit a response and boy did it. I think my absolute favorite lines are still the ones written for a few old fandoms - and I don't know if I want to post them here, but I believe my absolute peak banger was a nightmare description in a RWBY fanfic. So, limiting things to stuff on this account... I'm very fond of a few lines in my Angstober stuff - they're short, so I like to think they had some impactful lines, but I'm not sure how impactful they are out of context. Still, some of my favorites that I think hold up even taken out of context (yes, this is just me shamelessly promoting my original work and my OCs. sorry.):

From The Council:

There was no doubt in Lucas’s mind. In the end, sacrifice was rarely fully selfless. It was a choice taken away from someone else, it was a grieving loved one left alone, it was leaving the burdens of one’s ideals behind for others to deal with. It was a sin as much as a virtue. Lucas had never feared sin.

From Hearts of Cinder:

She straightened her back and cast the most arrogant look she could muster on her attackers. If she was going to die, she would do so with dignity. If she had to die, she’d make sure everyone else burned. For the first time since the Calamity, the familiar magic answered her call without any effort, mirroring her fury. For one last night, her fire set the world ablaze.

As for Aquarium... In general, I don't feel like my writing has a lot to offer outside of the text of the story itself? Like, I'm no Terry Pratchett. These two seem to be universally liked though, and I guess I agree?

From chapter 7:

Well, newsflash – I don’t want a relationship! My VNs are all I need, okay, IRL people are a pain. No stats, no routes, just pure confusion.

From chapter 15:

“Have you never heard of the phrase to love not because, but despite?” Vil questions and Azul stills. “It’s hardly rational to see someone at their lowest and still decide they are worthy of your love. It’s even more irrational to let someone see your ugliest side, and still let yourself be loved by them.”

Some of my favorites are still coming (quite a few of them), but I think I have one that doesn't look too spoilery:

Azul thought back to how miserable his life had been before meeting the twins, even despite having such a loving, safe home. He thought of the guy that gifted Jamil the bracelet and the bonds Jamil had forged in middle school, frayed but intact, and he thought of Kalim’s lonely, golden cage, and didn’t know what to say.

#ask game

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nihoneshi · 1 year ago

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When the time comes for Tomas to start the praise train on the Peace Keeper, Ragnar tries to intercept the conversation, before getting his hand grabbed and shook, he wasn't surprised that his singing reached hem, but he was a bit flabbergasted and silenced for a good couple of moments before putting on hand on the back of his neck, chuckling somewhat nervously as Lucas laughs whole-heartedly at the two of them.

[ Refine that Talent? I mean--Andor and I have been voice training for around two decades at this point, It only started sounding good recently. ]

Ragnar noted, around two decades was before and after the war, the war that shook everyone to their very core, but singing and instruments were Ragnar's main coping mechanism now, and cooking seemed to be Andor's primary mechanism, it helped them all greatly. Soon before Ragnar can even decline Tomas' offer, as good as it sounded, the Peace Keeper had many a more priorities now in this time, recovery from recent events being one of them--it's then that Lucas looks at the two of them and approaches.

[ " You two are not the only ones who can sing, For I can as well. I've gone through the ages learning much about other Houses' professions to intertwine them as my hobbies. " ]

Lucas sits down nearby Ragnar and Tomas, curling his tail up towards his hands, and he also begins to sing, since all of them knew how to sing, maybe it could strive Tomas to join in, get inspired, it was the least they could do for the bard!

[ But I know you know I’m right Though we’re different we’re dragons deep inside But without love, or salvation, or kindness, or comfort though, is it really life? no! Crying when the radio plays a sappy note, pathetic yes, I know One thing’s for sure though, Everything is your fault. ] Lucas is shocked when Ragnar continues his lyrics, and they continue on, they're shocked they know that song.

[ I’ve tried but I still don’t understand why Why is it we have to fight to live our own life Why I can’t live off doing the one thing I like I don’t care if my lyrics aren’t quite right, I don’t really care, no ‘Cause I think I’ve got it right Yeah I think I’ve got it right Yeah I know I’ve got it right? ]

Ragnar seems to be tapping to the guitar and drums, and Lucas is tapping to the pianos, what started as the two of them looking for flowers for Halvor has ended up with the two of them singing for the Bard, in hopes of bringing them the necessary inspirations to continue on with their profession as an Artisan. It was a kind gesture, at least they hoped they would join in.

[ But I’ve got it wrong again I don’t understand I don’t really care though Not about dragons or truth or the world or this life I hold, I don’t really care, no! Never giving a reply, just philosophic lines, is just an excuse right? Not that I care though, Everything is your fault! ]

[ Even I had dreams long long ago Now it doesn’t feel the same as it did before I’ve told you time and time again It didn’t really matter if nothing came of it, you know You do know, I know you know, now I can’t do it anymore So now you know why.... So now you know why I, don’t do music anymore.... ]

The last line didn't say anything truthful about how Ragnar and Lucas thought about music, it was just a really good song, and they resonate with a lot of the lyrics and the instrumentals. They're both surprised the two of them knew the song so well from heart, it's only when Ragnar speaks, and Lucas responds in turn, that the reason they knew the song is revealed.

[ This is the first song, me and Andor covered, a few years back. How do you also know about it, Lucas? ]

[ " That's simple! I heard it being played while I was in Gavin's cafe, that man's got a massive collection of CDs and Radio Stations to listen to! " ]

#geographical mastermind ;; lucas ic #valiance in peace ;; ragnar ic #surprise surprise they can sing as well #Bold = Ragnar / Italics = Lucas / Both = Both #There's a LOT of singing because god damn I AM NOT PUTTING THESE LYRICS IN MULTIPLE POSTS WE GOING BIG #WE DUETING UP IN THIS BITCH

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tooearlyforthis · 2 years ago

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The Book

Pairing: Steve Harrington x reader

Synopsis: (3.8k wc) Christmas, the best time of year to eat sweets, enjoy time with your family, and find out your best friend is in love with you.

Warnings: little bit of fluff, friends to lovers, mutual pining (Slightly inspired by More Memories to Make by @hairrington - go check this one out it's great- also small moment inspired by the show Friends)

masterlist || steve harrington taglist

Guess who's still on a Stranger Things kick! If anyone has any Steve stories they like please send them my way!

Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year. Slay bells ring, snow glistens, and y/n y/l has too many people in her home. She didn’t know why she volunteered to have the holiday party at her house this year, but, here she was, the house was packed with teenagers - plus the few newly-turned adults in their friend group.

She grabbed another tray of cookies from her kitchen. The room was already a mess, dishes stacking up in the sink, sprinkles all over the countertops. But that didn’t stop Robin Buckley, from taking a spoon and scooping up a wad of icing directly from the jar.

“Robin!” y/n explained.

Trying to swallow the icing to speak, she held up her hands. “I’m innocent!” Robin pleaded.

y/n rolled her eyes. “Come on, secret santa is about to start.”

A smile appeared on her friend's face as she walked over to take the cookies into the living room, stealing one for herself in the process. As they entered the grand living space, they saw the other guests light up at the restocking of their deserts.

y/n settled into the couch as she watched the younger kids dive forward for the cookies on the coffee table. Smiling, she felt the couch shift as someone sat down beside her.

“Did I miss the cookie refill?” asked Steve Harrington.

“Unfortunately, yes.”

He groaned in frustration. “Damn, your cookies are the best.”

y/n leaned close to his ear for only him to hear. “I may have hid a box of them away for us older kids for when the others go to sleep.”

Watching as his face lit up, he pulled her into a hug. “Yes! You really are the best, y/n.”

She felt her heart flutter at his words. Ever since she saw him back in high school, she felt herself swooning over him. At first, she hated herself for it. She didn’t even know the guy and if she was being honest, he was kind of a jerk.

And then the Upside Down happened and she was dragged along by her best friend, Jonathan Byers. Not too soon after shit started to go down did Steve enter the picture. She saved him from a demogorgon in the Byer’s house and that was the first time they had ever spoken.

y/n knew that from the moment he held out his hand and said, “Thanks for saving my life, I’m Steve Harrington,” her crush was not in vain. His warm smile, the soft shake of his hand…it was hard to stay away from.

She had kept a polite distance, knowing that he went after the girls he liked. If he was going to ask her out, he would have done it by now, so being just friends would have to do. But then those little moments would happen. The glance a second too long, the friendly smile in the hall. One look and y/n would find herself falling for him all over again.

She held in her breath as he continued to hug her, trying her best not to look into his eyes, when Nancy called out to silence the busy room.

“Okay everyone, let’s begin!” Nancy announced sitting down, next to her boyfriend.

Mike was the first to go, opening a new set of Dungeons and Dragons books from Will. He marveled over them, engulfing his friend in a huge hug.

Will got a new set of paints from Lucas who had recently learned of his friend's artistic skills, he was pretty proud of his present.

Lucas was shocked when he unwrapped a brand new basketball from Nancy. He didn’t even know how she knew he played but didn’t question it.

Nancy was next to open, getting a new set of journals from Robin. She smiled at her new writing books, happy since she had told Robin a few weeks prior she was almost out.

Robin was beyond ecstatic when she opened up a pack of language-learning cassette tapes. Dustin had given it to her, hoping that she would wanna learn Russian properly and not through some weird coded messages.

Dustin was also pleased with his gift from Max. As he opened up a new collection of hats, hugging his friend tightly, y/n felt a tug on her own shoulder. She turned to see that Steve had snaked his arm around her, pulling her closer to him.

He didn’t even turn to look at her, staring out at Max who was opening a new skateboard from Eleven. He acted like this was normal, that putting his arm around her was a daily occurrence; it definitely was not.

The more he did these things, the harder it was getting to hide her true feelings. She hadn’t really told anyone about them, even though Jonathan had teased her about it in the past. Trying to forget about it and move on, she slowly untangled herself from him, seeing Eleven open a set of Wonder Woman comics from her older step-brother.

It was the perfect excuse to move away, watching as Jonathan opened his present from her. He smiled as he saw the new rolls of film she had gotten him packaged with some photos of their group she had taken with a disposable camera.

He smiled at her, getting up from his chair with Nancy hugging her. “Thanks, y/n, I love it.”

“Of course,” she said softly as they pulled away.

Quickly a voice sounded from beside her. “Okay, y/n why don’t you open your present?”

She turned with a raised eyebrow to see Steve with his arms crossed staring at them. Sitting back down next to him she grabbed her present. “I take it you got me for secret santa?”

He shrugged as she began to unwrap the present. “Maybe.”

Finally able to get all the wrapping off, she gaped at the present before her. It was a first edition copy of Anne of Green Gables, her favorite book growing up. The binding was fragile as she turned it in her hands, opening the first page gently.

“Oh my god Steve!” she exclaimed, pulling him into a tight hug. She could feel his palm flat against her back. “Thank you so much, this is amazing!”

As they pulled away she could see him try to hide his smile. “It was nothing,” he said, trying to play it off cool.

Smiling she turned back to the book, not even paying attention to Steve opening a can of Farrah Fawcett spray and a fanny pack that said #1 Mom on it from Mike - he really thought it was a clever gift.

For the rest of the party, the book was all she could think about. After finishing the tray of cookies and another round of hot chocolate, after she left the room to go start cleaning the mountain of dishes, she thought about how it must of costed Steve a fortune to get the book.

“Need help?” said a voice. She looked up to see that Steve had already walked over, helping to start drying the dishes she was washing.

She smiled at him as they washed and dried, the debate over what music to play echoing in from the other room. “Thanks again for the gift,” she said. “You really didn’t have to.”

“It was nothing,” he brushed off, picking up another plate. “You used to reread that book every year. I figured it was important to you.”

“It is…” she trailed off, thinking of all the sappy memories from her childhood she had with that book, ones she didn’t need to be remembering at this moment. Changing the subject, she said, “We’re going to have to set up all the mattresses soon.”

He chuckled. “I still can’t believe you’re letting everyone sleep over. There’s like thirteen of us.”

“Ten,” she corrected him. “But still, we never get to have a normal day. I wanted all of us together.”

Looking up from the glass he was drying, Steve gave her a smile, it slowly fading as she watched him notice something from behind her. She turned her head to see Jonathan walking up, grabbing another plate to clean.

“Am I missing the party here?” he asked.

“No, no uh…” Steve stumbled out, putting his glass down. “I’m just gonna go check on everyone…” He gave a weak smile towards her before walking out of the room.

“That was weird,” y/n said, turning back to her dish.

“Hmm I think Steve is jealous,” Jonathan said, nudging her.

“Jealous? Why would he be jealous?” she laughed.

“Because you and I have always been close. And because no matter how close you get we’ll always be closer.”

“That’s stupid, he has nothing to be jealous over. Plus, no offense Jonathan, he could beat you up in a second if he wanted to.”

“I know, I know,” he responded, grabbing another dish to clean. “I think if you just told him he wouldn’t be jealous anymore.”

“Told him what?”

“That you like him.”

y/n set down her dish and stared at him shocked. “I do not like him.”

“You sure do, I saw, even when we were in school together.”

y/n snorted. “In school, I was dating Frank Butcher. Why would I date someone if I liked Steve?”

Jonathan shrugged. “A distraction?”

“Very funny Jonathan, but as I said, I don’t like him."

“Keep telling yourself that y/l. I see the way you look at him.”

“And how do I look at him?”

Jonathan set down his plate too, staring back. “With love.”

She knew her best friend was observant but she also thought she was being discreet. “This is stupid. Come on, we can finish the dishes later.”

Pulling him by the arm, the two teens made their way back into the giant living room. As the kids laughed on the floor, fighting over what record to play, she spotted Steve grabbing his coat.

Her smile faded as she approached him. “Hey, where are you going?”

Looking up at her, he stuttered over his words. “I-I forgot I have to do something before my parents get back in town…I’m sorry I have to go.”

“Wait-” Before she could finish her sentence the door slammed behind him.

She stared in disbelief. Why would he just walk out like that? It was so unlike him. Was he jealous? No, that was stupid. If he was jealous, he would have made it known; Steve wasn’t one to mask his emotions well.

Turning back around, she felt everyone’s eyes on her. “What are you guys doing?” she asked, slightly annoyed. “Put something on.”

Dustin was the first to move, finally selecting a Christmas album. The music filled the room as y/n sat down next to Robin on the couch.

“What was that about?” Robin asked her.

“I have no idea…” she responded.

The two girls sat in silence, watching as Jonathan pulled Nancy to her feet to dance with him. She blushed as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

“They are so annoyingly cute.”

“Tell me about it.”

Lucas was next to stand up, trying to pull Max up with him but she wouldn’t budge. He opted to just sit on the floor with her as they listened to the music. The rest of the kids huddled around them, setting up the new campaign that Mike got.

It was nice, all being together without some threat looming over them. The dancing and laughter, this was what growing up was supposed to feel like. She just wished that Steve had stayed to see it. She did not buy his excuse to leave for a second but could tell there was something going on with him. The boy had been through enough these past few years and y/n knew that letting him sort it out on his own was probably the best option.

The night went on and eventually, the kids helped bring down the mattresses. They all complained, wanting El to use her powers to levitate them down herself but y/n insisted some actual help would do them some good.

As the mattresses were set up for the younger kids and the guest rooms made up for the older kids, they all gathered back into the living room for a movie.

“I think we should watch Ghostbusters,” Dustin exclaimed.

Max groaned, “Dustin we watched that last week, no way.”

“Oh come on!”

“Max is right,” Mike agreed, “Let’s watch Empire Strikes Back instead.”

That launched a whole other debate that had all the kids divided. “Why don’t we just let y/n pick all right? It’s her house!” Will said. “y/n?” Too engrossed in her secret santa present, it took multiple tries to get her to listen.

“What? She finally asked being pulled out of the book. “I don’t care as long as everyone agrees.”

Robin furrowed her eyebrows next to her friend. “That must be some book you got there huh?” she asked.

“An expensive one,” Jonathan added, earning him a slap on the shoulder from Nancy.

“Is it really surprising?” Nancy asked. “Steve’s got money why not spend it?”

“Yeah,” Robing chimed in. “Remember when he fell in love with you, Nance? You told me how he bought you that ridiculously expensive necklace I mean-” The words hit her as she was saying them. “Nothing, I meant nothing, never mind.

y/n felt her brain falter for a moment. “Wait, Robin what did you just say?”

“Nothing! I said nothing!”

She leaned forward towards Robin. “Robin,” she persisted. “What did you just say?”

“I-I” Robin didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t supposed to say that, y/n wasn’t supposed to find out this way.

“Did you say he loves me?”

She looked around the room at all of her friends. They sat quietly, not wanting to make matters worse. It was Jonathan that finally confessed the truth.

“Yes, all right? He’s in love with you. But you clearly love him so what's the big deal?” he said.

“You knew?”

“We all knew,” Lucas said quietly. “He forced us not to say anything but if we’re being honest he’s pretty bad at hiding it.”

Max slapped his arm at that. “He wanted to tell you in his own time,” she said.

Jonathan jumped back in. “He told me that he was gonna tell you when he pulled your name for secret santa. I guess he thought you would understand with the book or he chickened out…”

The room was quiet as y/n tried to process what was happening. Why was she talking to them about this and not Steve himself? Without thinking, she stood up abruptly.

“I-I need to leave,” she said, grabbing the book Steve had gotten her and her keys that hung next to the front door.

“It’s your house!” Mike yelled out.

“I’ll be back later, Nancy’s in charge!” she yelled before slamming the door and running to her car.

Steve's house was only about ten minutes away which gave her less time that she had liked to think through it all. Everything about tonight somehow felt more clear with this new knowledge. She now realized how he wrapped her arm around her was definitely not in a friend's only kind of way. It probably made his heart flutter the same way it made hers.

Robin was right too, he did buy expensive things for the ones he loves. She remembered when Nancy showed her that necklace back when they first got together. Then, there was the kitchen “argument”if you could call it that. Maybe Jonathan was right, maybe he was jealous. Even if they did get together, both of them would know that she would always be closer to Jonathan and y/n understands why being reminded of that would make him upset.

But then again, it made her mad. Mad that she had been crushing on him forever only to find out he was doing the same. Why did he treat her differently than the other girls he liked? He would tell them right away, asking them to go on a date but with her? He stayed silent, only for her to find out through her other friends…

Finally, she pulled into his driveway, not even bothering to lock her car as she went up and knocked on his front door. The lights were on inside, and she could see a shadow step over the crack of light that shined from under the door.

Steve opened it, stepping back slightly when he saw her on the other side. “y/n what-” She shoved the book into his chest, not knowing what else to do. He took it, confused. “Did you not like it?”

“No,” she said, crossing her arms. “I like it, that’s the problem.” It was probably too aggressive but she didn’t care, he had to answer for what she had learned.

“I don’t understand-”

“How long have you known?” she interrupted him.

He tilted his head, still not getting what was going on. “Known what?”

“How long have you been in love with me?”

That hit him like a ton of bricks. His mouth fell open slightly as he staggered back until hitting the table that stood in the entrance of his home. y/n moved inside, shutting the door behind her before turning back to him.

“Who told you that?” he asked.

“How long, Steve?” she persisted.

His mouth was still open as he fiddled with the book in his hands. He looked down at it, running a finger along the spine. There was no point in denying now right?

“Since you saved me from that demogorgon in ‘83…” he confessed.

Now it was y/n who was shocked. That was way longer than she was expecting. “Three years, you’ve known for three years?”

“I’m sorry I should have told you but…” he trailed off, trying to take a deep breath to control his breathing. It was getting to him, keeping it a secret for all these years, too long for someone that didn't know.

“You were the first person that ever gave two shits about me,” he continued, “Yeah, I had Nancy but, it was clear from the start she knew I wouldn’t make it past high school graduation. You were the first person that believed in me and pushed me to be better. You make me laugh in ways I didn’t think possible just…how was I not supposed to fall in love with you?”

“You could have told me, Steve. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. Yeah, I developed feelings for you but what if you didn’t like me back? What if we dated and then broke up? I wouldn’t just be losing love, I would be losing my best friend…Jonathan try to get me to tell you when I pulled your name for secret santa but, I couldn’t go through with it.”

He looked up at y/n who was staring down at her feet, unable to meet his gaze. It hurt, knowing how much he screwed up but there was no turning back now.

“Are you mad I fell in love with you?” he asked.

y/n shook her head as she lifted her gaze. He could see her eyes begin to water as she held them back.

“No,” she finally said, “I’m not mad because…” she took a deep breath, “I’m mad because I have loved you since the moment I saw you in high school and neither of us had the fucking balls to admit it.”

He froze, not expecting those words to come out of her mouth. Standing up straight, he took a step towards her. “Y-you love me?” She nodded as he took another step, watching him set the book down on the table behind him. “But after we met- in high school. You went out with that guy Frank-”

“Frank was just a distraction,” she interrupted, taking a step towards him until he towered over her. She looked up to meet his eyes. “It’s always been you, Steve.”

She felt as his hands reached up to cup both of her cheeks. His eyes darted back and forth between hers and her lips. He took in a deep breath, one she could feel because of how close they were standing. She let her arms fall around his waist, pulling him closer to her.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” he said softly, their lips almost brushing.

y/n leaned forward more. “I won’t stop you,” she managed to say before crashing her lips to his.

Immediately, her grip on him tightened. He cupped her face with one hand as he dropped the other to wrap around her back. They held each other close as they deepened the kiss, moving their heads in rhythm with each other.

She felt him start to move as they kissed, pulling her up to him. y/n wrapped her legs around his waist, leaning her full weight into him as he carried her into the living room. They didn’t break the kiss once as she felt herself be lowered onto the couch.

They must have got the distance wrong because as she was lowered down, she felt that half her body wasn’t on anything. Before she knew it, Steve came crashing down on top of her before they both rolled off the couch and onto the floor.

She fell onto his chest before rolling over to lay next to him. Trying to catch her breath, she looked up at him. A smile broke out on both of their faces when they made eye contact. y/n couldn’t help but giggle as she saw Steve chuckle, pulling her into him.

She leaned into his side, putting a hand on his chest as they lay on the ground and laughed. Forcing herself to sit up slightly, she leaned forward and planted another kiss on his lips.

This time she was slowly, delicate as their mouths moved together. She could feel his hand reach up and tangle in her hair as she pulled away. He smiled up at her, unsure that all of this had really happened.

“Please come back to the party?” she asked softly.

He pretended to debate it for a moment. “Only if I can tell people you’re my girlfriend,” he retorted.

She smile, leaning back down so her lips once again hovered over his. “That sounds like a fair trade.”

They connected once more for a quick peck that couldn’t have lasted more than three seconds. “And, if I can sleep in your bed tonight.”

y/n laughed, burying her head into his chest. “One step at a time, Harrington.”

“All right, all right. It was worth a shot.”

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archivednerdfics · 2 years ago

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SPOILERS FOR S4 EPISODES 4 AND 5

Requested: Yes - @goingdelux18 (I know I said it would take a couple days but I got inspired and now we're here lol)

Word Count: 1,184

Summery: The night after Max escapes Vecna, she opens up to Steve, telling him the things she's been scared to tell anyone. If she can trust anyone, it's her big brother. And he is more than happy to be that brother for her. She's a pretty cool little sister to have.

~~~~~~

Max was curled up in one corner of the couch in Mike's basement, surrounded by Lucas, Dustin, Robin, Nancy, and Steve who was currently the only other person awake, watching over her. …Steve did that a lot. Watched over her.

He was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, flipping through a dungeons and dragons book that had been laying around the basement. It couldn't hurt to get at least a little bit of an idea of what these kids were always talking about.

After a while of sitting in silence, listening to Kate Bush until her tape ended and she had to rewind it, she lowered her headphones and tapped Steve's shoulder. He turned and looked up at her, giving her a smile, "Hey. You holding up okay?"

"Well… I haven't seen him so… yeah, I guess okay enough."

He nods and glances at the empty spot on the couch next to her, "...You okay if I sit?"

"Yeah, sure." She tried not to show how relieved she was to have him sitting next to her. Protecting her. Being the real bother she wanted and needed.

He put the book down and sat next to her, pulling her to his side, starting a little awkwardly, "...You know, you can talk to me. If you want. You don't have to but I'm not gonna judge you. For anything."

"...I-I know… But you're always so worried and I didn't wanna make you worry more."

"Hey, I was born full of anxiety. I'm gonna be worried whether you tell me stuff or not."

She laughed a little, leaning into his side, "...You didn't read the letter, did you…?"

"No. And I knew I wasn't going to have to because I'm not letting anything happen to you. Any of you."

"You can't know that."

"Yeah, actually, I can. I'll do whatever I have to, to protect you shitheads. And that means you're gonna be fine."

"...Just… hold onto it, just in case, okay?"

"I'll keep it. But I'm never going to have to open it. And you've gotta believe that, too, Max."

She nodded and was quiet for a while before she swallowed hard, tears in her eyes as she buried her face in Steve's shoulder. "...Vecna… said something."

"Yeah?"

"...That… a part of me was… is… relieved that Billy died."

"Well, yeah, of course you are."

She sat up to look at him, surprise in her teary eyes.

"Hey, I told you I'm not gonna judge," he said with a small smile, "And… listen, he wasn't good to you. You deserved better, Max. And that doesn't mean you can't be sad about it, because somewhere in there you did care about him a little. But it's okay that you're glad you don't have to deal with all of that anymore. It's normal to be relieved when you're not being hurt."

"...How do you know exactly what I'm feeling?"

"Well, my dad's not dead, but sometimes I wish he was. But I also love him sometimes. I don't want to, I don't know why I do, but I do. I get sad when he and my mom are gone all the time sometimes, but I'm also so fucking relieved he's not there. I think it'd be the same if he died."

"...I knew you got it. I always could tell that you got it. Is that why you're so nice to me?"

"I'd still be nice to you if my dad wasn't a piece of shit, Max. …But I guess it helps me understand some of what you deal with. More than the others can."

She nodded a little, snuggling into his side again as he held her protectively. Like a big brother should. "...Sorry."

"Don't be. If it means I can help you more, then I'm glad I dealt with it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And someday I promise, you're gonna be glad too, because you'll be able to help somebody else through it. It's hard to not become like them when they beat you down so much, and a little help makes a difference. I'm always here to help you, okay?"

Max nodded and Steve could feel a little wet spot forming on the shoulder of his shirt. Which only made him hold her closer.

They sat like that for a while before Steve softly spoke up again, "...Hey Max… what was in the letter?"

"...Stuff I thought you should know."

"...Can I know it now?"

"...Just… stuff about… how you're the brother I needed. And wanted. And I'm really glad you help us and take care of us. …And how if you died first I was gonna take the bat."

"Oh shit, does this mean I have to write up a will and put that the bat goes to you?"

"Shut up, you're not allowed to die."

He laughed slightly, "Neither are you."

"Deal."

"...You know you're all like my siblings, right? And you and Dustin especially. I never had siblings growing up. I'm glad I do now."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"...Thanks, Steve."

"Nothing to thank me for. I just saw a bunch of shitheads who needed help and picked up a bat."

She laughed a little, "I'm glad."

"Me too."

They were quiet for a while again, just feeling the comfort provided by each other, before Max spoke up again. "...I keep thinking… maybe if I saved him… we could've been like… actual brother and sister. Like us. Not… hating each other. Maybe he would've started being nice to me… Is that crazy?"

"No. It's not crazy. And I can't tell you what would've happened if he hadn't died, but I can tell you, it wasn't your fault. That thing was going for him… it was gonna get him, Max. If you'd gotten in the way, it would've gotten you, too."

"...I know. And… honestly? He probably wouldn't have changed. He didn't change when I threatened him with the bat, so I don't know why that would've made him change. …I just… can't help it. Yknow?"

"Yeah. I know. And whatever you're feeling, it's okay. It's okay if one minute you miss him and the next you're happy he's gone. You're okay, Max. It's all okay."

"...I'm not going crazy?"

"Not even close. Even if it feels like that sometimes. You're not. I promise. And we're all here for you, everybody here is a lifeline for you. Okay? Us and Kate Bush."

She smiled slightly and nodded, "Okay."

"Now how about we listen to that song, huh? It sounds pretty cool, and it literally saved your life, so…"

Max nodded and turned her Walkman up as loud as it would go before playing the song, while Steve rested his head against hers, both to hear the song better and to comfort her.

Between the music and using him as a pillow, Max did eventually fall asleep on his shoulder for a while. Glad that she had a big brother who did really care for her, and wanted to protect her. Despite everything… she felt lucky to have that. To have this whole little family.

#stranger things fandom #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fic #steve harrington #max mayfield #steve and max #big brother steve #babysitter steve #found family #hurt comfort #stranger things fluff #stranger things max #stranger things #stranger things steve #st4 #stranger things 4 #stranger things spoilers

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a-edgar-allan-hoe · 2 years ago

Text

Crimson and Clover

Eddie Munson x Reader Part 2

Part 1

A/N: So I finally caught up on starting the 4th season of Stranger Things and being that punk/metal kid that I was in high school (and still am lol), I became obsessed with Eddie Munson and his music taste 🙃. The dynamic between Eddie and reader is inspired by 10 Things I Hate About You. Reblogs and feedback is much appreciated, I love hearing y'alls thoughts! And let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist. Hope y’all enjoy! 💜💜💜

Summary: Imagine being the new kid at Hawkins High School. After a series of traumatic events that led you repeating your senior year of high school, your parents send you off to live with your Aunt and Uncle and your cousin, separating you from your home and your band, where you find yourself in the small town of Hawkins.

Notes and Warnings: language, violence, gore and horror themes, smoking, mentions of drug use, mentions of past abuse, sexual themes. Angst. Slight enemies to lovers trope. Oblivious pining. Slow burn? Reader is over the age of 18. Reader is also a bit of an ass but Eddie low key enjoys it.

(I had to make a few changes to the story, so this takes place some time before spring break)

A slight hint of a frown had etched itself onto Eddie’s features, now occupying the complacent smirk that was once there as he tried to make sense of his current mess of feelings. He could not quite figure it out, but what he felt was like a strange concoction of dumbfound, indignation, and dare say, even a bit of arousal as he headed back to his table, where his Hellfire Club awaited him with eager ears and eyes of inquisitiveness.

“So?” Mike was the first to speak, nearly jumping out of his chair as the metalhead came back over to take a seat at his spot at the end of the table. “What happened? Did she say yes?”

“She’s….” Eddie huffed out with a shake of his head and a scoff, brows raised above his eyes that formed creases across his forehead as he sat down, trying to find the right words to describe you before shoving his fork a little too aggressively into his meatloaf. “She’s somethin alright.”

“Was she mad?” Dustin added in, scared that the older student was going to wring his neck for daring him to speak to you in the first place. “She looked mad. Did she spit on you?”

"No, she didn't spit on me Henderson, relax.” Eddie rolled his eyes as he took a bite out of his food, moving the piece of meatloaf around in his mouth as his thoughts slowly drifted to the gutter, particularly the spitting part, and especially, ESPECIALLY on being on the receiving end.

"Then what did she say?" Dustin pestered before dropping his voice to a low whisper as he leaned in towards the metalhead who only gave the boy a weird look from under the curly strands of his long hair. "Did she threaten to cut off your balls?"

"What?" Eddie scrunched his nose at the younger student's absurd question. "The hell Henderson. No, nothing like that."

"I heard she cut off some dude's balls."

"Dude." Mike rolled his eyes at Dustin's comment. "You're seriously just making shit up."

"I'm not!"

"Yeah, where'd you get all this information from anyways?" Gareth asked the younger student with a look of doubt while the others did the same.

"Lucas, duh." Dustin rolled his eyes. "I thought I already said that."

"I mean," Jeff remarked, shrugging his shoulders as he crossed his arms over his chest. "She looks like the type to cut your balls off."

"Exactly!" Dustin spat out, throwing his hand out to Jeff in a dramatic gesture before slapping his palm against the table and gathering a few stares from those around them. "See, someone gets it."

"Gets what?"

"That she's a criminal."

"You're so full of shit." Mike squinted at his friend, knowing damn well the boy was fawning over you the moment you stepped out of your car. “Weren’t you geeking over her this morning?”

“Uh NO, I was geeking over her car. There’s a difference. And besides, that was before I found out she’s some psycho liverless...kidneyless killer who cuts off guys’ balls.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever Dustin.” Mike rolled his eyes before tuning to Eddie. "Wait, so what did happen?"

"All I can say is ten out of ten would not recommend." Eddie shook his head, twisting his lips in displeasure as he finished up his food. "She is literally the spawn of Satan himself.”

"Wait, so is that like a bad thing?" Mike cocked his head back with a confused expression, not sure why Eddie would necessarily be put off by the idea considering his interests and personality, not that the student was a full fledged satanist.

"Uh yeah." Eddie gave a slow nod of his head and an emphasized quirk of his brow. "I meant it as in she's absolutely heinous, like something straight out of Stephen King. She’s literally Freddy Kruger in the flesh.”

“Why, is she all burnt up too?”

“I meant as in her personality Wheeler. PERSONALITY. Get with the program.” Eddie sighed before getting back up with his tray to throw away the trash on top.

The Hellfire group followed the back of Eddie's head as he made his way over to the trash can, waiting till the older student was out of earshot before huddling together to discuss the encounter amongst themselves.

"What do you think she said to him?" Eddie's bassist brought up, eyes wide with uneasiness.

"I don't know, but from the looks of it, it wasn't anything good." Jeff stated.

"I'm tellin ya," Dustin nodded his head as he tried to put his point across, "she threatened to cut off his balls."

"Dude! Shut up!"

Eddie had been standing over by the trash can that sat a couple feet away from the restrooms while his group sat debating their theories with each other, emptying the contents of his tray into the garbage before setting the empty plastic tray on top along with the other hideous pale sand-colored ones, all while his thoughts remained of you. Specifically your eyes and the way you stared up at him, despite the pure contempt that was evident behind the mesmerizing hues of your irises. If he thought you were attractive when he first saw you at a distance the moment you stepped out of that beauty of a muscle car in the school's parking lot, then god was he wrong, you were even better-looking up close. And that voice of yours, it was like an orgasm for his ears, and usually his music was the only thing that had the power of doing such a thing. And though he nearly folded just at the sound of your voice, he almost could not stand the words that formed from it. Why did you have to be such a dick.

And as Eddie stepped away from the trash can that was near the restrooms, ready to make his way back to his table, he felt someone slam harshly into him, knocking the air out right out of his lungs and nearly knocking the poor fool off his feet. With a stunned expression as he gathered his balance, he looked towards the fleeing fugitive thinking it was one of the boys from the football team trying to be funny, only to see the back of a disheveled head of hair, a black leather jacket, a pair of washed out jeans, and those damn black Dr Martens boots. Y/l/n?

Confusion masked Eddie's face as he watched you dash out the cafeteria doors with a slight quiver in your step, catching a glimpse of the panic-stricken look that veiled your eyes before your form disappeared behind those doors. The hell was the matter with you? Furrowing his brows and giving his left arm a stretch, he rubbed his hand against the sore area on his bicep with a wince from the way you collided into his left side just a mere seconds ago. Jesus. That actually really hurt. And as he winced again, face twisted into a stung expression as he was sure your little quarterback moment was going to leave a bruise, he only became more puzzled seeing your cousin Sydney rush after you calling out your name. What the hell happened? Your first day here and you were already a mess.

Your eyes were distant, glazed over with the interweaving of the visions of your past and your current reality that seemed to divide and connect and overlap over each other, forming an intricate framework like that of a spiderweb, trapping you within your own consciousness that even you yourself were unsure you had any control of at the moment. Your back was pressed against the cold metal of your locker door as you zoned in on the ugly terrazzo floor of the school’s hallway beneath the soles of your boots, mindlessly flipping open the lid of your zippo lighter with your thumb before closing it back up using your forefinger in a series of sharp clicks. The cool metal case of your lighter was cold within the grasp up your warm fingers, contrasting against the heat of the small flame.

The depths of your mind were reminded of the crimson, blood-filled water that pooled at your feet not too long ago in the girls restroom. And of that voice, that god awful voice of that woman you tried so hard to forget. And that wave, that dark colossal ocean wave that seemed to crash into you, swallowing you whole and blinding your senses. You winced, squeezing your eyes shut against the image that flashed before you as you moved your fingers more rapidly against the metallic lid. The harsh clinking of metal against metal deafened your senses, getting faster and faster and muffling out the sounds of everything else around you as you repeatedly opened and shut your lighter.

CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK

“Hey.” You nearly jumped at the feeling of a hand on your shoulder, opening your eyes back up to see your cousin. “You okay?”

"Yeah, I'm fine." You lied through your smile, closing your lighter back up and shoving it into the pocket of your jacket. You had a bad trip once, long ago, remembering the details and the sensations you felt then. But this, this felt so real. Too real.

“You sure?”

“Mhm.”

“I mean, you nearly gave me a heart attack back there. You were burning up pretty bad.” Sydney closed her locker before facing you, clutching her textbook against her chest as she tried to read your face.

“Must’ve been my uh……vertigo. It can get pretty bad.”

“Oh my god.” Sydney widened here eyes as she straightened up from leaning against her locker. “Do you need to go to the nurse?”

“For them to tell me what I already know? Yeah no thanks. I’m fine really, no need to worry about me.” You wished you could have told her what happened back there, recount every detail as it was still fresh in your memory. But you could not. And even if you did, no matter who you told, no one would believe you. They would just think you were some druggie wacked out on something.

“If you say so.” Sydney sighed, pursing her lips before swaying slightly on her feet as she stared up at you, trying to find the courage to ask you something. “Hey…..can I ask you a favor?”

“Shoot.”

“You think you could um….” Sydney lowered her voice, glancing around the students from under her mascara coated lashes to make sure no one would overhear as she cleared her throat. “Could you um……pick me up some marijuana?”

“Pick you up what?” You snapped your head towards her, looking down at her with a puzzled expression. Did you hear that right?

“Shhh.” Sydney hushed, giving another careful glance around before leaning closer towards you. “You know, marijuana.”

“You want me….to get you weed?” You quirked a brow.

“………..yes.”

You stared down at your cousin with an amused expression, seeing the way she became embarrassed by the look you gave her before throwing your head back with a combination of a scoff and a laugh. “Oh that’s hilarious.”

“I’m……I’m serious.”

“And why exactly would you need that?” You turned to face her, leaning your left side against your locker before crossing your arms over your chest.

“Well…….it’s just for Josh and I. We’re watching movies at his place tonight.”

“We as in, just you and him?”

“Yeah?”

“And why exactly do you need me to get it?”

“Oh come on y/n. You know I can’t exactly be seen meeting up with the local drug dealer. You on the other hand-“

“Right, I fit the typical smoke-pot-all-day-everyday image. Got it.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Sydney sighed. “I just could really use some for tonight and you’re the only person who can get it for me.”

“And I don’t suppose your little boyfriend can get it either.” You sighed with a roll of your eyes. “Alright fine. How much do you need anyways?”

“About half an ounce.”

"And where am I supposed to meet up with this.......local salesman?"

"At the trail behind the school fields after school."

“Drug dealer in the woods. Right. Not creepy at all. You got the money for it?”

“Uh…..yeah. Yeah I do.” Sydney zipped open her backpack, reaching her hand inside the front pocket before handing you some crumpled up cash.

“Uh Sydney….”

“What’s wrong?”

“This is nearly not enough.” You held up the cash she gave you after straightening them out. “Ten bucks is about half of the price for half an ounce.”

“Oh, shoot.” A disappointed expression crossed her soft features. “I didn’t know. This is my first time buying and-“

“You know what. It’s cool. I’ll uh…..pay for the rest. My treat I guess.”

“Oh my god.” Sydney gave a breath of relief before squeezing you with a hug. “You’re a life saver.”

“Uh-huh. Don’t mention it.” You grunted out from her bone-crushing hug.

“You are totally the best!” Sydney squealed as she pulled away before looking behind you with a smile and a wave.

“Oh god. Who now?” You slumped your shoulders, dreading yet another human interaction and turning around to see a boy with light brown neatly-arranged hair and wearing a green letterman jacket heading in your direction.

“Josh!” Sydney let out a small giggle.

Oh god.

“Hey baby.” Sydney’s boyfriend came over, putting his arm around your cheerleader cousin before the two of them shared a kiss.

Any longer and you were going to hurl.

"Ah. You must be Sydney's older cousin from Utah." The boy smiled once he noticed you, reaching over to give you a light bump on your shoulder like you were one of his basketball buddies.

What....in the hell. He did not just do that.

"Seattle actually." You corrected him with a forced smile, especially after eyeing with distaste the way his knuckles came into contact with your shoulder. Sydney’s boyfriend or not, you already had an aversion to him and you just met the dude. Cheers to being a misanthrope hippie. “Well would you look at that," you glanced down at your watch, "I gotta get to class. See you lovebirds later."

Grabbing your backpack, you headed off to your next class which happened to be one of the only subjects you were looking forward to: classic literature. With one of your backpack straps slung over your shoulder, you entered the classroom, peering inside to see that only a select few had already been seated; the nerds, who, much to your relief, chose the seats near the front. You navigated your way over to the empty chair that sat at the very back corner, your hair falling over the sides of your face as you cast your gaze towards the floor before plopping down on your seat and setting your backpack on the ground between your legs.

You sighed, closing your eyes and rubbing your fingers in circular motions against the skin of your temple before opening your eyes back up at the sound of students drawing near. Glancing up towards the door, you watched as students slowly began to pile in, praying that none of them would take the spot next to you. Lucky for you, your wishes were soon fulfilled, for each student that walked through the door, each of them avoided the empty seat that was next to you on the right.

Propping your arms up on the small wooden desk, you sat back in your seat with a slouch, spreading your legs open in a more comfortable seating position that would have made your mother and her caviar-eating lady friends clutch their pearls. You became focused on your pencil as you twirled the thing between your fingers, watching it move around in a yellow blur. You almost did not notice the last student to walk through that door, the way he stood under the door frame searching for an empty seat before landing on the only one that was left vacant, the one right next to you. And as he moved his eyes just an inch over to see which unlucky student he had the pleasure of being stuck with, much to his displeasure, there you were, sitting a space beside the only chair left in the damn class. This was definitely worse than he had imagined.

"Great." The student cursed under his breath before making his way over, seeing that you were much too preoccupied to notice him.

The spinning of your pencil came to a stop between your fingers once you heard a pair of footsteps approaching in your direction, along with the slight clinking of a metal chain that synced along with every movement. It felt as if your stomach was churning, slowly turning into concrete as a dreaded feeling washed over you. And as you looked up to meet your fate, ready to face the consequences of your own prejudices, you were only met with the displeasure of the one person you did not want to bump into ever again.

"You have got to be kidding me." You blinked with a dramatic roll of your eyes, the frown on your face only deepening the closer he came. Your little wish to have the seat be left empty had completely backfired on you, coming around and striking you right in the rear. And boy was it a literal pain in the ass.

“Well, look what we have here. If it isn’t Joan Jett’s evil sister.”

“Well if it isn’t the wannabe Eddie Van Halen.” You curled the ends of your lips up into a smile before dropping it as quickly as it appeared. “You think calling me an evil Joan Jett is gonna offend me?"

"Someone's excited to see me." Eddie smirked, plopping his backpack down on his desk before sitting on the chair with a slump.

"You wish." You crossed your arms over your chest, staring straight ahead at the front of the classroom as you tried to ignore the metalhead next to you, whose brown eyes kept tracing over the lines of your profile.

“You know, you should join the football team with the way you nearly knocked me down on my ass back in the cafeteria.” Eddie brought up, attempting to take the lighthearted approach as he was afraid of how you would react to a direct one. You did not seem like the type that would answer well to ‘hey, by the way, you alright? You looked freaked the fuck out back there.’

Shit. You clenched your jaw at the mention, tapping your pencil against the desk as you were once again brought back to that horrifying image that you experienced back in the restroom. Out of all the people who had to see you looking like Animal from the Muppets caught up in a frenzy, it had to be none other than this band shirt, denim-clad, ring-wearing asshat.

“Ew. That was you?” You made a face. “Ugh. Now I definitely need to douse myself in bleach.”

“Oh come on.” Eddie feigned a hurt expression, placing his hand over where his heart was. “I can’t be that bad now can I?”

“Are you always this annoying? Or do you just show off when I'm around.”

“Ouch. I was gonna say it comes with the whole package sweetheart.”

“DON’T call me that.” You glared at him just as the professor walked in, greeting himself as he wrote his name on the chalkboard.

“What, sweetheart?” Eddie smirked as he placed his elbows up in the table to lean towards you, watching how your eyes narrowed and enjoying the way he was getting under your skin despite the complete and total jerk you were. “What would you prefer? Babe, sugar, honey bunny, pumpkin, darling, sweet cheeks?"

“God you’re-“

“Charming? Dreamy?"

“Despicable.”

“Despicable?”

“You know, nauseating, aggravating. There’s a thing called a dictionary.”

“I-I know what that means.” Eddie’s lips formed into a tight-lipped smile, slowly getting irritated by your oh so hospitable personality.

“You do?” You feigned a shocked expression. “Well congratulations. I was beginning to believe you didn't even know what a dictionary was in the first place. You deserve a gold star for your outstanding effort.” You rolled your eyes before facing the front and raising your hand.

“Uh yes miss…..” The teacher acknowledged you, pausing since he did not know your name.

“Y/n.” You cleared your throat. “Could I please use the restroom? There’s something in the air that’s making me sick.” You turned towards Eddie with a glare as you said the last part, only to receive a look that lacked amusement on his end.

“Uh-huh. Just don’t take too long.” The teacher waved you off.

“Thanks.” You grabbed your backpack, giving the metalhead one last glare before leaving the classroom.

“Jesus.” Eddie slouched back, watching you disappear out the door with a shake of his head. “What a-“

“Fuckin dickhead cumwipe.” You cursed under your breath once you entered the hallway, raising your hands up and balling them up into fists before dropping them back to your side with a frustrated groan as you barged out the front doors. First the incident in the restroom now this. Fuck it. You did not have the energy for this. Nor did you want to be here in the first place. And as much as you tried to forget the image, of that blood filled bathroom and the shouting of that horrid voice, the more it bound itself to you until you heard it echo within the depths of your mind.

With another string of curse words trailing off your tongue, you stomped over to your car, pulling out your pack of cigarettes and placing one between your lips before lifting your lighter towards the end with trembling hands. You tried to steady the thing, struggling to keep your hands from shaking like a leaf caught up in the midst of a strong breeze as you watched the tiny flame go everywhere but the end of your cigarette.

"Fuckin...stupid piece of cancer shit!" You growled, yanking the cigarette from your lips and chucking it it far off into the distance.

"Y/n?"

You spun around on your heel in panic at the sound of your name being called, afraid you were going to receive another one of those awful visions but instead being faced with a head full of long red hair and a familiar face you had not seen in a long time.

"Max?" You furrowed your brows at the girl before you. What the hell was she doing here? "What are you doing here?"

"I go here." Max gave you a bemused look, nearly forgetting that you had moved to Seattle before she moved here. But what were you doing away from Seattle in the first place? "What are you doing here?"

"I'm staying with my Aunt and Uncle.......the Andersons."

"Wait." Max let out a small scoff. "So Sydney Anderson is your cousin?"

"Yeah."

"........I didn't know that."

"Not many people do." You let out a soft chuckle. "So how have you been? I feel like it's been forever." Though it did feel as if it were forever. You had first became acquainted with Max back in California when you were an employee at a small surf shop near the beach, where you would work after school on the days you were not out catching the waves or skating down parts of the neighborhood you had yet to discover, back before your…incident…before everything went downhill.

Max’s step-brother Billy Hargrove had also been an employee at the time, working alongside you at the small surf shop. The two of you were not considered the best of buddies, due to your clashing personalities and the fact that you thought he was an arrogant prick to begin with. But if there was one thing the two of you got along over, it was surfing, cars, and music. It was not long until you had met his step-sister, Max Mayfield the day she had stumbled into the shop looking for Billy while he was out with some girl. And since that moment, after the two of you shared snide yet humorous comments in regards to the older boy, the two of you grew into buddies ever since, much to Billy's annoyance. As time went on, Max had practically become like a little sister to you, and you an older sister to her. And though the young girl did not want to admit it, your move to Seattle had affected her a lot, especially since you were just about the only friend she had, someone she could skate with, someone she could look up to.

"I've.......I've been okay." Max put on a smile, though her eyes told another story.

"That's good. How do you like it out here? I know it's a big change from California."

"It's............alright. Not too bad.”

Your face turned to that of concern, sensing the desolation that resided in her, a silence that was unlike the spirited girl you remember her by, but you chose not to inquire into it, knowing how much you did not like people infringing upon your own troubles without your request. "So, you ditching class huh?"

".........yeah. Just……..don't wanna be here right now."

"Same." You sighed. "Hey uh, sorry you had to see that, you know, me acting like a complete shithead. I uh, I've been having a bit of a rough day."

"You and me both I guess." Max tried to force a smile, not that she was not relieved and happy to see you after so long, but more so of the nightmares she has been having after loosing Billy. Now that you were here, standing before her, wearing just about the same style of clothes you wore then, she was suddenly reminded of the days that were, of the days where things felt somewhat peaceful. And as she glanced up at your face, reassuring herself you were the same person she knew those years ago, her eyes caught the scar that lined your cheekbone, it’s small raised surface casting a slight needle-like shadow from under the sun’s rays. She swore that was not there before.

“I uh got it from a small accident……broken glass.” You lied after seeing the way the young girl’s eyes fixed upon it, something that you had learned to become accustomed to after the many stares you would receive every time you went out in public.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. It wasn’t anything major.” You stuffed your hands into the pockets of your leather jacket, shifting your weight onto your other foot. “I was uh....I was actually about to head down to the local diner-"

"Can I come?" Max quickly blurted out, a hidden desperation that threatened to scream out from behind her eyes before she stopped herself, lowering her gaze to the pavement beneath her vans. For the first time since Billy's death, after avoiding her friends here at Hawkins, she did not want to be alone, as if the single thought terrified her. "I mean, it's okay if you don't-"

"No, you kidding me? It's totally cool. I'd love to have you for company." You told her. "I'll get us some milkshakes and we can catch up on.......whatever the hell it is we need to catch up on. Whaddya say firecracker?"

“Sounds good." Max nodded her head, the hint of a genuine smile just barely appearing on her lips upon hearing the nickname you had given her back in California.

“Awesome. My car is right over here." You gestured over to your Dodge, walking towards it while Max followed closely behind.

"That's.......your car?"

“Mhm. My 1970 Dodge Challenger RT.” You smiled as you gave the top of your car a light smack. “Got her a few years ago.”

Max let out a scoff, shaking her head as she admired the classic muscle car. “Oh Billy would’ve shit himself in jealousy.”

“Would’ve?” You quirked a brow, not sure if you had heard that correctly.

“I meant would.” Max quickly covered up with a lie. So you had not heard anything yet. You must have arrived here not even half a week ago. “You know, once he gets a look at it.”

“He still got that Camaro huh?”

“Mhm.” Max frantically nodded her head as she got in the passenger seat after you. It was not that she did not want to tell you the truth, Billy’s death was just a topic she did not want to touch upon.

The drive to the diner had been a quiet one, as Max and you had been much too preoccupied with your own worries. Your cassette of The Cramps played through your car's speakers after the endless searching of the local radio stations only to find them lacking. Your eyes were focused on the road ahead, your fingers drumming along to the music against the steering wheel while Max went through your cassettes.

“What’s this band?” Max held up a cassette, turning it around as she looked it over.

“That,” you turned to quickly see which cassette she was holding up before facing back on the road, “that band is called Melvins.”

“Melvins?” Max made a face. “I’ve never heard of them.”

“They’re underground. They’re a part of the Seattle Sound.”

“Seattle Sound?”

“It’s a new genre forming from where I was living in Seattle. It’s like a blend of metal and punk. There’s a couple bands like Soundgarden, Screaming Trees, Green River, Alice In Chains and this newer band called Pearl Jam. I can put you together a mixtape if you want.”

(I know Pearl Jam was formed in 1990 and Alice In Chains were formed in 1987 but let’s just pretend because they’re one of my favorites lol.)

"Sure, that would be cool actually." Max sat back in the leather seat, putting away your cassettes before staring out at the window, a citrusy and woodsy scent filling her nostrils from the Little Tree air freshener that hung from your rear-view mirror as she watched the trees blur past, thinking of how she would ever tell you the news of Billy's death.

The Diner was nearly empty by the time you arrived, not yet filled with the bustling of students who flocked here in large numbers to socialize and make out after spending their day sitting behind a desk facing a blackboard. Three or four adults, mainly in their forties, and a few elderly couples sat about at the diner, their faces content with the lives that they have lived as they conversed with their friends and partners.

Max and you had sat at one of the booths near the window, looking out at the plain view of the tall trees that blanketed the woods beyond, hiding whatever creatures dwelled within. A few cars would occasionally drive by on the road at the far end, their manufactured bodies a stark contrast to the natural environment behind them.

"So how's Seattle?" Max was the first to speak up, moving her straw around in her glass of strawberry milkshake.

"I mean........" You pulled your chocolate milkshake closer to you, the glass cold and wet in your hands from the condensation as you plucked the cherry off the whipped cream before popping it in your mouth as you tried to find the words to describe where you lived. "Well, it's not Chicago or New York, but it's nice as its own city. The coasts and the nature parks are a must see though. And the music scene is great. My band and I did a couple local gigs and stuff, nothing too big."

"You're in a band?" The blues of Max's eyes slightly brightened. "No way. What's it called?"

"It's a girl band, Seattle Sound and all but….a bit angry.....kinda like Alice In Chains…..if that's a way to describe it. I play guitar and lead vocals. We're still working on a good name though."

"What is it?"

“Um...…….The Gorgons.”

"The Gorgons?" Max tilted her head before taking a sip of her milkshake, curious to know what went behind the inspiration.

“It’s uh, based off of Greek mythology. Long story short, these three sisters were punished for the sin of a man and were turned into these snake-haired monsters. We uh……we thought the theme was still prevalent in this day and age.”

"I like it. I think it's a good name."

"Yeah? I mean it’s either that or The Devil’s Rejects or some other shit. You should come see us play one day.........once I go back of course."

"That depends, is your band any good?" Max teased.

"I can't believe you just asked that." You jokingly gasped. "Of course we're good.......at least I think so. What, you questioning my skills Firecracker?"

"I just want to make sure." Max muttered, swirling the pink contents of her glass with her straw before gasping at the small sugar packet that you tossed at her. "Hey!" The girl gave you a playful glare, scoffing before flicking some whipped cream in your direction.

"Maxine Mayfield. You did not." You gaped, swiping your fingers across your cheek to see your fingertips covered with the white whipped cream.

"Oops." Max snorted, trying to hold back her laughter before breaking into a fit of giggles at watching you wipe yourself off.

"You little brat." You shook your head with a scoff before laughing along with Max, happy to see her beaming again as if whatever cloud you had sensed hovering over her had disappeared, revealing the vibrant girl you once knew underneath. And for once, even if it were for just a short while like this very moment, throwing your heads back in laughter while your milkshakes slowly melted away, the two of you had forgotten your troubles as if they merely a blade of grass in the distance. If only it were to remain that way.

By the time that you had dropped Max off at her place, after handing her a small piece of paper with your address written on it and promising her that your home was a safe haven if she ever needed it to be, you were already heading right back to the place you had gotten away from in the beginning. Right back to the dull, institution-looking school for your little meeting with the local potions merchant. Your music blasted through your speakers as you once again pulled into the parking lot, rolling your windows up before taking your keys out of the ignition. You sat there for a moment, leaning back in your seat and biting your bottom lip in contemplation as you drummed your fingers against the fabric of your jeans. After jumping back and forth from the what-ifs and what-nots, you reached over to the passenger side and popped open your glove compartment, staring inside at the small black and silver handle of your switchblade, tucked away with your papers and your plastic cassettes and your red and white boxes of your Marlboro cigarettes.

“Fuck it.” You huffed, taking your switchblade and slipping it into the back pocket of your jeans. After all, you had no idea who, or even what, would be waiting out for you in those woods. And given the nightmarish scene that you witnessed in the girls bathroom, you did not want to be unprepared. Not again.

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