#also yeah i kind of do want to find other people with weird fun names

[pigswithwings]

now you need a friend named png, gif and............ and..................

an enemy named webp

mutuals tag yourself

[pa-pa-plasma]

just finished watching Blue Beetle & the dude who's lines were 90% "my name isn't Sanchez" is listed as "Sanchez" in the credits

[oh-no-its-bird]

recently, i've started to see things where tobirama is reincarnated as sakura or is sakura's "inner", which is really interesting. could i get your take on this?

Unfortunatley I don't actually know much ab Sakura's inner! I learned naruto lore via fanfiction (never actually touched any canon media, oops) and have only actually read like 3 Sakura centric ones, I straight up didn't even know Sakura had a multiple personality(?) thing going for her till a few months ago (and boy wasn't that a surprise)

I think Tobirama being reincarnated as her could be p fun!! But also I think I'd be more interested in telling a story where he just straight up reincarnated as someone not existing in canon, if only bc then he could also interact WITH Sakura instead of just being her

I find that a lot of stories that try to give Sakura agency just kind of toss her entire character out the window and start from scratch, which is fun and valid! But it's more fun for me to make direct, uncomfortable eyecontact w canon her and find increasingly stupid or chaotic ways to fast track that whole "character development" thing or at least find ways to explain why she's Like That(tm)

So yeah I don't have toooo much interest in Tobirama reincarnating as specifically Sakura or her inner, but I could be into a story where he just reincarnates in proximity to her and then see how they bounce off of eachother. Maybe as a sibling? That could be cool

If he's born a girl we can zap em with the trans beam on top of the body dismorphia of suddenly being a whole child, that could be interesting. The blatant sexism of naruto canon could also make for an interesting plotline if we want to actually get into that

I kind of like the idea of him not actually remembering his previous life, at least not in full. Maybe he has weird dreams sometimes, maybe he looks at photos of the Nidaime and gets weird feelings of dejavu.

I suddenly have a very specific mental image of him getting a scar on his cheek, where one of his tattoos used to be, and just staring in a mirror afterwards at this super weird feeling of dejavu mixed w a sensation of it not being right mixed w just general body dismorphia and aw fuck why does he feel like he's both a little more right and further from himself than he's ever been?

Anyways would he be born younger or older than Sakura? Older brother him is just super overprotective, often suffering from nightmares of sensing as Sakura and some unnamed "other sibling" of his dies. It could also mean he can interact with Itachi actually, maybe they can be emotionally stunted baby genius friends or smthn

But younger sibling him could make for a surprisingly compelling parallel with Sakura and Hashirama! Especially w how Sakura later goes on to train with Tsunade n stuff

Part of me wants to say he's still names Tobirama for simplicitys sake, he can just be named after the Nidaime or smthn. But also that feels a bit cheap even if it is easier, so at least for now we'll name him Tora

Him and cat Tora can square off for name rights idk

Tora speaking oddly formally for a civilian, and having the kind of respect for your elders that come from being a second son in an elder run clan in ancient Japan. He has an awful time trying to form emotional attachments with people, including but especially his parents, who for some reason never really felt like his

But also him having a super easy time being attached to his new little sister Sakura, who he refuses to see anything bad happen to ever

So Tora and Sakura's parents being like suuper traditional, which is why Sakura is Like That when it comes to boys (she's constantly being told she needs to find a man to take care of her) Tora acts as a good figure and role model in her life, so while she's still interested in romance like canon she isn't AS boy crazy and can do a bit of thinking for herself.

And then we can get some fun conflict between Tora and his parents, who unfortunatley don't get the whole trans thing and constantly insist he needs to either drop the shinobi thing and find a husband, or if he does keep going at the shinobi thing, use it to find a husband there then drop it

Yeah he's not doing either of those things.

(they find out he's friends w the Uchiha clan heir and immediatley get weird about it, all glowing with pride that he's "attracting such good potential husbands" n stuff (Tora is PISSED))

Anyways Tora being just alarmingly good at literally any jutsu Tobirama invented. Like, ALARMINGLY good. He has that first life muscle memory, which unfortunatley is NOT a valid alibi and he's about to get his ass beat for seeming to have reverse engineered secret jutsus he shouldn't be able to know.

It isn't HIS fault that just glancing at the flying thunder god technique that one time was apparently enough for him to instinctively understand how to use it!!! Maybe this "Tobirama" guy should have just been better at making his jutsu harder to understand, this is clearly not his fault

He manages to help avoid the Uchiha massacre by being friends with Itachi, the two of them both graduating early and at the same ages, joining the same team and then ANBU together and so on.

Tora being really strong and graduating early and all that only further motivating Sakura to be a super strong shinobi, just like her big brother! Maybe she and Sasuke can even bond or have met earlier through Itachi and Tora's friendship.

Sakura and Sasuke childhood friends agreeing to try and graduate early together just like their older siblings. Not really into sasusaku but Ill say Sakura can keep her crush on him but be actually normal about it via exposure plus maybe some boy advice from Tora (he's a shinobi, so if you really want to charm him, you'll have to beat him first)

She can maybe lose it with time (and exposure to him being a dumb cringe fail kid w his brother still around) and maybe go kiss Ino idk

Anyways, Tora and Itachi friendship. Shisui is also there!! (Love that guy)

They're dynamic is just emotionally suppressed bastard (thinks hes better than you) + emotionally suppressed bastard (knows hes better than you) + upbeat guy smiling at you as he holds a gun to your head

Shisui and Tora take turns driving the car as Itachi sits in the back seat peacefully eating some applesauce (he's just happy to be here)

They're gonna blow up the hokage tower for the good of the people 👍

They're on an ANBU team w Kakashi and Tenzo and forget about going grey, they're gonna make Kakashi's hair straight up fall out from the stress

Maybe Tora can move out of his parents house the first chance he gets, and then whatever place he manages to find can be a little safe place for Itachi. Itachi accidentally ends up almost moving in w him as things at home get worse and worse w the coup. He just stays over more and more and doesn't want to return home

Circling back to the "Tora instinctivley knows how to navigate Tobirama's seals/techniques" the most terrifying point of the story is when he sees Naruto's jinchuriki seal and realizes he knows how to mess with it

Uh oh!! Shouldn't have that information!!

Anyways take some doodles

(Danzo is "that jackass who won't let me look at the nidaime's old research" and Tora has a GRUDGE.)

[sentinelsthiccass]

TFO Actor AU Episode Four

More Hobbies

Starscream, Soundwave, and Shockwave are being interviewed.

Starscream: My hobbies? Well, I happen to be highly into fashion of the past!

Soundwave: And he always finds the most obscure weird vintage fashion pieces...

Starscream: They are not weird, they are art! You wouldn't understand! None of you would understand! The style, the elegance!

Starscream starts going on a rant and has to be stopped via Soundwave covering his mouth.

Starscream, grumbling after his mouth is uncovered: Whatever... anyways, does having a social media page for your pet count as a hobby? I have a page for my cyber-cat, Lord Bumble!

Shockwave: ...did you loosely name him off of B-127/Bumblebee?

Starscream: What?! No, don't be ridiculous! It has nothing to do with him.

Soundwave: Liar. You know one of your hobbies is also fawning over the little yellow guy, it's so obvious.

Starscream: I do not fawn over him!

Soundwave: Yes you do, just admit it already!

Starscream screeches in frustration and walks off.

Soundwave: ...guess it's my turn? One of my hobbies is DJing at a few different clubs. People really seem to appreciate how I do it and I'm happy to share my talent with them.

Shockwave: I go with him often. I don't really like clubs, but I want to be there to support my husband...

Soundwave: Oh, yeah, in case you guys didn't know, me and Shockwave recently got married. Bee was my best man and Star was Shockwave's and Alpha Trion officiated and Ravage was the cute little ring bearer... it was nice.

Shockwave: ...and then everyone got drunk and Starscream tried to fistfight Megatronus.

Soundwave: I still have the recording of Starscream getting his aft beat.

Shockwave: You should post it...

Soundwave: Maybe... Anyways, my other hobby is drawing while listening to music. I really like to just doodle whatever I feel when listening to the song. Just listen to the melody and let the pencil flow...

Shockwave: You have some really obscure singers you like, too...

Soundwave: Well, yeah, but I also like a lot of popular music. I mean, my main playlist varies from peppy pop songs to hard rock to folk songs.

Shockwave: It has over 3,000 songs...

Soundwave: Well, yeah, there's so many good songs I just hand to include!

Shockwave: I suppose so...

Soundwave: Anyways, your turn, dear!

Shockwave, suddenly nervous: Ah- uh- I like science. I perform all kinds of experiments. And I buy those chemistry sets for sparklings to see how far I can push them.

Soundwave: And he somehow manages to cause a mess whether it be fluids all over or a straight up explosion.

Shockwave: ...sorry.

Soundwave: It's fine, whatever make you happy, I'm fine cleaning up after it... just stop roping the minicons into your shenanigans...

Shockwave: But they have fun with it...

Soundwave: Yes, but they also tend to get hurt, even if the injuries are small.

Shockwave: ...anyways, I also like bugs.

Soundwave: He has a collection of terrariums with different bugs that he named. He cares a lot for the little critters.

Shockwave: They are so small and frail, yet so interesting...

Soundwave: You should do some experi-

Shockwave: NO!

Soundwave: ...you didn't let me finish.

Shockwave: I know what you were going to say... my beloved creatures are not test subjects and never will be!

[fcthots]

thinking abt wearing jason's initial on a necklace but in a taylor swift kind of way

-🕷️

THIS THIS THIS CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT

I WANT TO WEAR HIS INITIAL ON A CHAIN ROUND MY NECK CHAIN ROUND MY NECK NOT BC HE OWNS ME BUT CAUSE HE REALLY KNOWS ME WHICH IS MORE THAN THEY CAN SAY-

ANYWAy

Here's the thing about the fucking press, since the moment they found out Jason was alive, they've never let him breathe. Your relationship went public against your will only two months after he was declared legally alive. Since then the opinion on your relationship had fluctuated. Sometimes there were fan accounts and other times you were sent death threats. Jason did what he could, but he couldn't stop everything.

The worst that happened was when you went with some friends. It was just dinner on a balcony at a nice restaurant. Jason had gone to some concert with one of his siblings. To be honest, you were too drunk to remember which. You were out with three friends two of you were drunk. The birthday boy doesn’t like to drink, but he gave the ok for everyone else. One other friend stayed sober and offered to be the designated driver.

You're solidly drunk. Drunk enough to actually be excited to take pictures. Drunk enough to be laughing the whole time. Drunk enough to try to call your cat on the phone.

Either way, you're singing happy birthday while your friends are taking pictures so you lean over to kiss the birthday boy's cheek and tell him "HappsyBirthay!" He laughs and thanks you. It's a good time. Your other drunk friend kisses him on the other cheek and takes a picture of it on his phone. It's cute. It's fun. But it is 11:30 pm and time to go home.

You're about to get in the designated driver's car when he asks for your address. You don’t invite people over much, what with Jason having to go on patrol and bloody bats dropping in. You're also drunk enough to not know your address. "That's a relly diffisult queshion. Do you know the answer?" You look over to the birthday boy; he's been to your apartment a few times to have lunch and feed the cat.

He looks over at the designated driver. "I don’t know the address, but I know to get there... Don't worry about it. I'll take her home."

"We goin home?"

He laughs. "Yeah."

"Holy shit! Is Jason gunna be there?" He puts his arm around your waist to guide you into his car so you don’t fall.

"I don’t know. You said he was going out tonight, but I don’t know if he's back yet." He laughs again and waves goodbye to your other friends before he buckles himself into the driver's seat.

The car ride home is mostly quiet. You're half asleep, and it's not long until your friend is pulling into the parking garage. He taps your shoulder and asks for your key. You don’t know where it is. He asks for your phone. You hand it over, and he asks Siri to call Jason.

Jason picks up after half a ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, man. It's me. We're in the parking garage and your wonderful girlfriend is too drunk to find her keys. Any chance you're home."

You hear Jason's voice ask something about articles, news, and pictures before you fall asleep again.

A few minutes pass and someone's calling your name and unbuckling your seatbelt. You look over and see Jason leaning over you.

"J'son!"

"Hey, sweetheart."

"I missd you." He grabs your bag off the floor.

"I missed you too. Hey can you give me your phone?"

You nod your head and hand him the phone.

"I'm gonna pick you up. Ready?"

"Yeah!" He lifts you up while you shout "Weeeee!"

He closes the car with his shoe and turns toward your friend. "Thanks, man. Happy Birthday. Sorry about everything."

"'s no problem. Take care of her. Bye."

You don’t remember much of the elevator ride up or getting in pajamas or getting in bed. But you remember waking up. That wasn't fun.

Jason makes you breakfast, and that in itself isn't out of the ordinary at all, but he's acting weird. Every time you ask for your phone he says "I'll give it to you in a minute."

You can't take it anymore. "Jay, just tell me what happened. You're killing me. Did I post anything dumb while drunk again?"

"No." He sighs and grabs your phone out his pocket before opening up an article. You take your phone from him and read the headline. You feel sick.

"Jason Todd and Girlfriend Broke Up! Finally She's Gone"

You take a bite of eggs off Jason's plate and keep reading.

"Here's the evidence:

"nobody's heard from the couple for months, not even so much as an instagram post from the once vocal couple

"Todd was seen last night at a concert singing his heart out to breakup songs, images below

"and most damning of all: the now would-be ex-girlfriend was spotted last night getting cozy and leaving with new man, exclusive photos below!"

You scroll and see zoomed in photos of you kissing your friend's cheek and getting into his car. You bang your forehead into the counter repeatedly. Jason puts his hand over the spot you're hitting your head against. You look to him and he looks apologetic.

"I'd prefer if you didn’t read the rest. I don’t think Vicki Vale likes you very much. I'm having Bruce sue the company right now."

You try to hit your head into the table again and he grabs your cheek to stop you. He leaves his hand there. This time, you look apologetic.

"I'm sorry. It just makes me upset when people think I don’t love you or that you don’t love me." You meet his eyes and he's smiling.

"I had an idea."

He pulls two small boxes from his pockets and you stop yourself from making a comment about the size of men's pockets. Before you have the time to freak out, questioning what's in the boxes, he opens them. They're necklaces with the initials of your first names. He takes the one with your initial and puts it around his neck. The chain on his is longer than the other one.

"Obviously you don’t have to, I just had a feeling you might want to. I'm not trying to put a brand on you-"

You cut him off with a kiss.

"I'm never taking it off."

[waywardxwords]

Witches

Summary: While hunting a witch, you accidentally stumble upon her collection of sex pollen. 

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Word Count: ~4.2k

Warnings: DO NOT ENGAGE IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18; THIS CONTENT IS RATED M FOR MATURE Swearing, Supernatural-y things (witches), sex pollen trope, smut (p in v, f masturbation), fluff

A/N: This is my first time writing Dean smut and also my first time using the whole sex pollen trope. But this was fun, and I enjoyed writing it. If you’re feeling up to it, please let me know what you think! Thank you for reading!

There wasn’t anything you hated more in this supernatural world than witches. They were ruthless, conniving and downright batshit crazy. But alas, if you and your hunting buddies didn’t hunt them, then no one would. They would continue wreaking havoc on anyone they wanted, and you couldn’t have that.

So now you found yourself in the living room of a woman you had suspected spent her free time doing witchy things. You had no idea what you were looking for–bones, spell books, weird herbs or plants; the options were literally endless. 

All you knew: people in this town all connected to this woman were ending up in rather interesting predicaments and you were determined to find out why. 

“Don’t touch anything that looks suspicious,” Dean’s voice came through the other line as you used one hand to press your phone to your ear. “I really wish you would’ve waited for me. We should’ve gone in together.”

“Yeah, well, there’s no time for that,” you muttered as you searched. There were a bunch of old books, but none of them screamed hocus pocus to you. You fumbled with a tiny wooden trinket box that had intricate lines and details on the outside. As you lifted the lid, you saw it contained some kind of yellowish-green powder. “This is interesting…” your voice trailed off as you brought the box closer to investigate. With your phone pressed between your shoulder and ear, you lifted the box. 

“I’m serious, do not touch anything. You listenin’ to me?” You rolled your eyes at his voice. 

“I’m not touching anything, Dean. Cool it,” you mumbled as you examined the substance. Within a moment, your nose suddenly felt tingly and itchy. It started before you could stop it—sneeze. A cloud of the yellowish-green powder encircled your face and created a haze. Your eyes immediately felt watery. The phone fell from your ear as you hurried to place the box back down on the table and brushed your face with your hands. As you pulled your hands away, you saw dusty yellowish-green hues. You missed Dean calling your name through the phone, but he didn’t miss the words that fell from your lips in the background. “Shit. Shit, shit, shit.” You breathed as you plucked the phone from the hardwood floor and brought it back to your ear.

“What’s happening?” Dean’s voice was elevated and you heard the rev of the Impala’s engine in the background.

“Uh, Dean?” You watched the powder on the floor around you. “I accidentally touched it.”

“God dammit,” he groaned. “I’ll be right there.”

Dean had gotten to the witch’s house in minutes, which made you realize you probably should have waited for him and gone in together. But that didn’t matter anymore. You were waiting for symptoms to start–every little thing you felt made you wonder if it was caused by the mysterious substance. 

“Talk to me, Sammy,” Dean answered the phone roughly as he sped to get back to the motel. He said it was the safest place to be in case something happened. Sam was on his own hunt, about four hours away. “It’s like a yellow color,” he described, as Sam probably asked what it looked like. 

“Like pollen,” you murmured from the passenger seat. Suddenly, you felt warmth in the pit of your stomach. It was an odd feeling, almost like you had just consumed a warm cup of tea or hot soup. 

“Yeah, like pollen,” Dean repeated into the phone. The warmth wasn’t going away, it was only getting hotter. So hot, you felt the need to pull off your leather jacket even though the cool autumn air nipped at your skin. Dean did a double take from the road to you, and back again. “What are you doing?” He pulled the phone slightly away from his mouth. 

“I’m getting really hot, Dean,” you mumbled, worry crept through your words. You didn’t get worried often—or show it, at least—but these damn witches…all bets were off. 

“She says she’s getting hot,” Dean relayed over the phone before pulling it away and hitting the ‘Speaker’ button. 

“Uh, okay…so she sneezed into a box of pollen and now she feels hot?” Sam was typing as he spoke. 

“Somethin’ like that,” Dean confirmed as he turned into the parking lot of the motel. By now, your skin was on fire. The heat had spread from just the pit of your stomach to your chest, your arms, your face, and…other places you preferred not to mention. 

“I’m on fire,” you mumbled as tears stung your eyes. As soon as the car was in park, you had the front passenger door open and moved to be outside of the Impala. The cold air felt glorious on your skin, but the fear kept your feet moving. 

“She’s burning up, Sammy. You got anything? Anything at all?” The worry was present in Dean’s voice, as well, though you barely noticed over the waves of heat coursing through you. 

Once the two of you got into your shared motel room, you beelined for the bathroom. Your fingers wrapped around the edges of the porcelain sink and you closed your eyes. The coolness from the surface of the sink calmed your shakes, even if just for a moment. 

“A what pollen?” Dean asked into the phone, as if he couldn’t have heard Sam correctly. After a pause, he continued. “You gotta be kidding me.” He breathed, but didn’t hesitate to get his mind back in the game. “Okay, walk me through it.” 

Dean’s tone should have made you nervous, but all you could focus on was the way your heart nearly vibrated in your chest. There was a heat blazing so hot in your center, that you realized at that moment it had created a slickness in your underwear. Your nipples were so hard, they ached against the soft cotton fabric of your bra. 

You glanced up to look in the mirror for the first time. That’s when you noticed the heat had risen and created patches of redness up your chest and into your cheeks. Your breathing was labored, almost, and you realized it was as if you had just had…

“Okay, hear me out,” Dean grumbled as he tossed his cell phone onto his bed and ran his hand over his mouth as he tried to find the right words. “You’re not gonna like this…but it’s called sex pollen.” He cleared his voice before he said it. 

“I’m sorry, what?” Your chest rose and fell with each breath, you eyed him carefully but that made you feel even hotter. The warmth was overwhelming, so you fanned yourself with one of your hands. 

“I know, I know,” he held his hands up as if he were just the messenger. “It’s a spell. It makes you wanna get it on, Marvin Gaye style.” He couldn’t help the grin that tugged at the corners of his lips. You rolled your eyes and threw the hand towel at his face, missing slightly. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.” 

“Get it together,” you huffed. “So how do I break it?”

Dean gnawed at the inside of his lip, which was something you hadn’t seen him do before—or noticed, anyway. God, you couldn’t look away from his mouth. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, and you thought you might crumble. Your fingers reached out quickly to grip the doorway of the bathroom. 

“From what Sam has read,” he paused as he nervously rubbed at the back of his neck. “You gotta…do it.”

Your eyes narrowed at him. “Do it?” You repeated. “Can you be a grown-up for five seconds, please?” 

“Sex, darlin’,” he closed his eyes and said it hurriedly. “You gotta have sex.” 

All of the color drained from your face. Even though you knew that was what he meant, it was still a lot to take in (no pun intended). You closed your eyes for a moment as you tried to force your brain to work, but all of the blood seemed to be rerouted to other parts of your body. 

The feelings that ran over you made you realize you were feeling extreme sensations of being turned on. This went far above any other time you had felt this way—thinking about it almost made it worse. 

“You still with me, sweetheart?” Dean’s voice broke you out of your thoughts. When you peeled back your eyelids, you were met with his green gaze. You had never seen his eyes so green before—and in the hue of the motel bedside lamps, you spotted speckles of gold and brown. You had never noticed how beautiful his eyes were before. 

“Y-yeah,” you stuttered over the word. “So what now? Just try to let it pass?”

Dean cleared his throat and broke away from your stare, his tongue darted out over his bottom lip again. God dammit, if he doesn’t put that tongue away… You tried not to squirm standing there in your jeans and a tank top. “Uh, actually, Sammy said if you don’t…take care of it,” he waved his hand in front of himself in a circular motion. “It uh, it can be fatal.” 

“I’m sorry, come again?” You blinked once, then twice. 

“Yeah, uh, you gotta take care of it,” he brought his hand up to rub at the back of his neck again. You noticed the way his bicep flexed and tugged at the flannel that covered his arm. The heat in your parties made you think they may actually catch on fire. 

“Fuck, Dean,” you groaned and turned to move. The only thing that seemed to bring you any kind of relief was pacing. The friction your jeans caused between your legs was incredible. “What if…” you hesitated as you processed. “What if I try to ‘take care of it’ myself?” You used air quotes and looked back at him. 

He seemed to process for a second. “I mean, maybe? I don’t have any idea…” the tension in the room was so awkward. But the more time that passed, the harder it was for you to look at Dean and try to not jump his bones. 

“Okay, go to the bathroom…do not come out, you hear me?” You instructed firmly. Dean grabbed his phone and nodded. 

“I’ll text Sammy and see if he’s found anything else,” he mumbled and hurried to the bathroom before he closed the door. You weren’t sure, but you could’ve sworn you saw him blush—and Dean Winchester never blushed. 

By the time you heard the door click closed, your fingers worked the button on your jeans. As soon as the clasp was freed, you shimmied them down your thighs and kicked them off to the side. You decided to leave your underwear and tank top on, fully aware of the man just on the other side of the bathroom door. 

As you dropped down on the bed and sat up against the headboard, your knees parted automatically. The heat that escaped between your legs was so intense that the cool air made you gasp. You closed your eyes as your hand snuck under the band of your black panties. The only thing you could see was Dean…his chiseled jaw, the way it tightened when he was mad, or frustrated or deep in thought; the rough stubble scattered across his lower face and chin; the way his eyes bore into you every time he looked your way. These weren’t new feelings, just feelings you had been able to avoid for so long. Now that the sex pollen had taken over, all bets were off. 

Your index finger circled your clit. You tried to be quiet, truly. This situation was awkward enough and you knew the doors in this motel were practically cardboard and didn’t contain the sound. But the moans still fell from your lips hastily. You couldn’t stop them once you started. You dipped your fingers down and couldn’t believe the wetness there; the feeling was overwhelming. You squeezed your eyes tightly shut once more, envisioning the god of a man on the other side of the door. And then it happened. “Ugh, Dean,” his name rolled off of your lips dripped in absolute bliss. 

“Uh, you okay in there, sweetheart?” Fuck. He had heard it. The blush rising even stronger in your cheeks literally burned your face. Tears you hadn’t realized had pooled in your eyes blurred your vision. 

“God dammit,” you groaned. No matter how hard you tried, you knew this wasn’t working. “I’m uh, I’m fine, Dean.” You hoped it would be enough to appease him. 

“Listen, uh, Sammy just wrote me back. He said it’s not gonna work…you, uh, taking care of it yourself,” he cleared his throat twice. Oh awesome, you thought to yourself. Both of the Winchesters know I’m trying to masturbate this spell away… You knew what that meant. Before your brain could process, you heard him again. “You decent? I’m comin’ in.” 

You practically squealed and clawed at the comforter to cover yourself. The door to the bathroom creaked open and Dean hesitantly peered around it. By the time he made it into the room, you were mostly covered but your right leg had slipped out under the comforter and Dean caught a glimpse of skin from your foot all the way up to where your underwear sat above your hip. 

Your eyes connected and you noticed his jaw tightened. But this time, it wasn’t because he was mad or frustrated…maybe in deep thought, but something felt different; something felt darker than that. 

“It’s not working,” you murmured, your chest still heaved with each heavy breath you took. Your fingers gripped the comforter so tightly at your chest, your knuckles were white. 

“I know, sweetheart,” his voice somehow sounded deeper than it had moments before. You weren’t sure if you were imagining it, or maybe it was the sex pollen. But either way, it made your body tremble. 

You followed Dean’s gaze to your leg—he absolutely saw the tremble. 

“Listen, I don’t want to make this weird,” he rubbed a hand down his face again. The way his mouth dropped open made the heat rise even more. “But you can’t fix this by yourself.” You knew he was hesitating; hesitating to take it further. You wondered if it was because he didn’t want it, maybe he didn’t want you. 

“Help me fix this,” the tears blurred at your eyes again. “Dean, I’m begging you. Everything is on fire. My body literally feels like I’m going to combust.” You hated that your voice cracked, but you were truly starting to freak out. “I don’t want you to do something you don’t wanna do…”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Dean nervously chuckled as he shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “I don’t want you to do something just because you have to…” his voice trailed off as his eyes studied you. Realization set in that Dean wasn’t able to hide his attraction or interest in that moment. His jeans had tightened quite a bit in his groin, revealing a bulge that made you practically pant.

“I need you, Dean. But I also want you,” you practically drooled at this point. “I want you so, so bad.”

Dean’s hands moved to unbutton the buttons to his flannel quickly—you scrambled out from underneath the comforter to where he stood at the end of the bed on your knees to help him with the rest. You gave up after the second button and pulled the two sides harshly apart, sending buttons flying to bounce onto the multicolored carpet below. 

“Christ,” he breathed as he moved to undo the metal button on his jeans. Instantly, his hands cupped your cheeks. He paused for only a moment. After one more look into your eyes to make sure this was okay, you met in the middle as your lips crashed against one another. 

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” the words rolled off of your lips like it was nothing—but it was so much more than nothing. It was something you hadn’t meant to say, but the sex pollen haze made your filter dissipate. Your lips pulled apart with a pop and your eyes found his. 

“God, me too,” he almost growled as he toppled you back onto the bed once more. Dean was on top of you, your legs parted automatically. He held himself up with one arm and kissed you in a way you had never been kissed before. 

“Dean, I need you to touch me. Please,” the need in your voice was mixed with begging at this point. “Everything is on fire.”

“I’m gonna take care of you, sweetheart,” his words drawled together, intoxicated with lust. The hand that wasn’t supporting his body weight trailed down your side. He pulled back and sat on his knees, pulling you with him so you were sitting up. His fingers grasped the hem of your tank top and pulled it up and over your head in one swift motion. He reached behind you and masterfully unclasped your black bra. As soon as it fell away, the cool air from the room bit at your already hardened nipples, causing you to hiss out loud. 

Just as quickly as he pulled you up, he pushed you gently back to the bed on your back as he settled between your legs once more. 

“You’re so god damn beautiful,” he murmured as his lips connected with your neck. He planted hasty wet kisses from just below your ear lobe, down your collarbone to the top of your breasts. 

“Dean,” your hips writhed against him. You needed more. 

“I know, baby,” he breathed as his hand finally began to trace down your side, his fingertips left goosebumps on their way until they reached your hip bone. He pulled the material of your underwear until they slid off of your hips. He pulled until they were down near your feet where you could kick them off. 

His fingertips trailed to your center and circled your clit just as you had done moments before. His index finger slipped easily inside of you before he decided to add his middle finger to the mix. 

“Oh,” you breathed out, your head tilted backward so your neck was exposed. Dean took the opportunity happily, his lips sucked and kissed every inch of skin there as he pumped his fingers into you. “Dean, please.” You were doing a lot of begging, but you literally couldn’t help it. You felt like you would implode if he didn’t take you right then and there. 

“Patience is a virtue, sweetheart,” he murmured against the flesh of your neck.

“I don’t really have time for patience,” you groaned. Dean pulled back for a moment, almost as if he had forgotten this was initiated from the sex pollen to begin with. He swallowed hard as his eyes trailed your naked body, his jaw tightened. He quickly pulled off his flannel, within seconds his fingers pulled at the hem of his t-shirt. Next up was his jeans, and then his boxers. 

Your body squirmed at the sight–he was stunning. Your eyes trailed down his biceps to his forearms–down his chest, to the delicious V and then…

Your breath got caught in the back of your throat, but before you could gasp for air, his lips were back on you again and you felt his hardness against your thigh. “I don’t have a condom…” he grumbled as his head dropped into the crook of your neck.

“Birth control, Dean,” you mumbled against his hair. His lips found yours again, moving against them as if his life depended on it–and, well, yours sort of did. He pulled back for a moment and found your eyes, as if he was asking if you were sure about this. You knew there was no going back at this point, so you raised your head to capture his lips in yours again. You pulled his bottom lip between your teeth gently, which elicited a moan from him.

And then in a second, you felt him enter you. It could have been the sex pollen, but you didn’t think so. The feeling was the most incredible sensation you had ever felt. The way your body fit against his was something you could have never imagined—even in the nights you had drifted off to sleep thinking about what this might feel like. 

He moved slowly at first; too slowly to appease the effects of the damn sex pollen. Your hips rose to meet his and you wrapped your legs around his waist, linking your feet behind him at your ankles. He obliged, and angled his body in a way that you could feel absolutely every inch of him inside of you. 

“God damn, you feel so good,” he groaned as he pressed his forehead to yours. You had never felt so close to someone in your entire life, and you prayed it wasn’t just another symptom of the pollen. 

“You’re tellin’ me,” you moaned as he reached down with the arm that wasn’t supporting his weight and pulled your leg behind your knee so it rested in the crook of his elbow. “Jesus, Dean.” You bit down on your lower lip so hard you thought you tasted blood for a second. It didn’t matter; nothing mattered in that moment. 

He rocked against you so hard, the headboard bounced off of the thin wall of the motel room—the picture that hung above you rattled. Nothing mattered. 

Dean brought his lips hastily to your ear and kissed just below it before he whispered, “I want you to touch yourself, sweetheart. Let yourself go.” You shuddered at the feeling of his warm breath on your earlobe and the words he whispered huskily. You could hardly take it. 

Your release had already started to build—which wasn’t too surprising, considering how turned on you were to begin with. You snaked your fingers down between your bodies, the feeling of his pelvis crashing against yours sent another wave of goosebumps over your skin. 

You began to circle your clit with your fingertip as he secured your leg in the crook of his arm, his bicep flexed tightly. The sensation was overwhelming and you found yourself practically babbling moans and words strung together. “Fuck, Dean. Jesus, Mary and Joseph,” that elicited another chuckle from his lips but didn’t disrupt his movements as he plummeted into you. It felt like he was breaking through your cervix at this point. 

“Let yourself go,” he could feel your muscles beginning to twitch around him. His words tossed you over the edge. “Take what you need, sweetheart.” 

That was it. You felt like your release was practically boiling as it shook you to your core. You saw flashes of color, and your ears were ringing. Dean moved through it for you as you rode the wave. You vaguely heard yourself yell out his name as everything crashed around you. 

“You okay? You want me to stop?” He almost winced as his hips urged him to move but he wanted to respect the fact that the spell you were under had most likely dissipated now. 

“Don’t stop,” you hurriedly told him as you rocked your hips against him once more. “Your turn.” You leaned up to connect your lips to a sweet spot on his neck, your tongue ran over his stubble and nipped gently which elicited a groan from the back of his throat. 

“God damn,” he growled as his pace quickened again. Your muscles still twitched from your orgasm, you thought it might roll into a second wave—which would have been a first for you. 

After a few more thrusts from Dean, he practically collapsed on your chest. Your fingertips found his back, coated in a thin layer of sweat. You dug your nails gently as you drew small smoothing circles upon his skin. After a moment, he rolled so he was on his back just beside you. 

“That was magical,” your words practically slurred together as the room was filled with heavy breathing from both you and Dean—your chests rose and fell with each breath. 

Dean’s eyes were sealed shut, but you saw the grin that pulled at his lips and he chuckled. 

“You sure that’s not the sex pollen talkin’?” He drawled, his words etched together as well—a combination of exhaustion and post-sex effects. 

You gently bit at your bottom lip and glanced at him from your side of the bed. His eyes were still shut lazily, a slick layer of sweat glistened in the dim light of the motel. Maybe it was still sex pollen remnants, maybe not—but something gave you a sense of courage you had never had before. You leaned over his body and inched towards his face. “Guess we’ll just have to let round two decide…”

His eyes shot open but his grin stretched wider so you could see his bright white smile. His gaze trailed from your eyes to your lips. Just before he leaned up to press his lips to yours, he said, “Guess we will, won’t we?” 

And for the first time in your entire life—you were thankful for witches.

---------

A/N: Eek! I always get nervous posting ~smut~, but here we are! I love hearing what you think, so please don't be afraid to comment! Even if it's something I could work on for next time. Hope you enjoyed it!

Tag List: @jackles010378 @ladysparkles78 @lyarr24 @roseblue373 @nelachu2423 @deans-spinster-witch @stillhere197

[0asisbliss]

Parings: Yan!Feitan x fem!Reader

A/N: This takes place in a zombie AU I also put Feitan words in a little bit of broken English because that’s kind of how it is in the anime. Sorry for any spelling errors.

Warnings: Mentions of torture, and Feitan being his own warning.

Blood. There was blood everywhere not just the undead’s, but the living. Now that the laws of society have been lifted ever since the breakout. Everyone is either killing to live, or living to kill. Either way you wanted no part of it. Even if your boyfriend was apart of some disgraceful acts. Every time he just explains all that with it being “harmless fun with friends”.

His friends weren’t that terrible at least to you. When the virus broke out Feitan urged you to come with him to be safe. Explaining that you two would stay there for the time being together. While you were panicking about everything he was as cool as a fucking cucumber. Calm as ever seeing people get mauled, and bitten. You’ve seen at least a hundred people die in this week.

I mean people were turning into walking dead creatures. And the worst part about it they weren’t even dying they were turning into cannibalistic-man biting monsters. Feitan started dragging you everywhere he went. Going to get supplies? You’re coming with him. Need to find a restroom? Yeah, he’s going.

You witnessed what the phantom troupe can do. Honestly you found it quite horrifying. Your just glad you with them instead of against them. Until the breakout you had no idea Feitan did all of these things. Yes. He was a bit experimental, and a little weird, but these were the things you liked about him. He stuck out, and he was different.

He didn’t give you the same ol’ love story other guys did. He was thrilling and made you do different things. He honestly took you out of your comfort zone. Feitan wasn’t normal and you knew that and that he was strong, but you would’ve never thought he would kill.

The first time you saw him kill was when he slaughtered a man that was trying to hit on you during the time you, him, Nobunaga, and Phinks were looking for resources. You were sure you could’ve handled yourself, but he took it upon himself to ruthlessly kill that man.

You also had your fair amount of encounters with zombie you shot a couple and got away. You thought they were all the same you know the ones in the movies. They were slow, blind, and basically walking corpses, or those were just the ones you encountered.

There were categories when it came to the “zombies”. There were whispers, walkers, and creepers.

Whisperers, are zombies that were once people who could use nen. Now they use all of their nen to lure in the uninfected. Ex: Calling their name, looking like the uninfected, impersonating a loved one, etc. Advantages: Amazing hearing, sight, looks almost humanly, could be mistaken for a survivor, and can use nen.

Walkers, are your typical walking dead zombie they roam around like undead corpses, and any living thing that moves is automatically food. Advantages: None.

Disadvantages: Slow, blind, decaying skin, after a couple of days their skin breaks down, eventually rots.

Creepers, hide in the daylight and come out into the night lurking, and waiting for any survivors, and uninfected to make the wrong move. They pounce on people who come in their sights. Advantages: Good eyesight, hearing, and reflexes.

These were the categories Chrollo set every zombie in from his observations. Each zombie category showed different skills, and abilities. Only the troupe knew about these categories. They were sure people who were smart enough picked up that not every zombie acted the same, but unlike them you were smart you just weren’t outside enough to understand the aspect of every one of them.

It was the new normal that you stuck by feitan at all time. Even when he was with his “friends” you had to warm up to them, but they were nice the more you got to know them. Pakunoda shared her food with you, Shizuku always talked to you not wanting you to feel lonely, and Machi know how clumsy you can be, so she sticks around you just in case you get any cuts.

You and usually keep medical kits, and antibiotics in case anyone needs them. The people around you rarely get hurt if they do you, and Machi are quick to the rescue. Even with all of these people surrounding you, you can’t help but think about if your friends and family and if they are alive.

You can’t count how many times you’ve broken down about it. Every time you confront Feitan about it he always tells you there’s nothing you can do about it.

Even though you want to seem irritated at his response you can’t help but think he’s right. You’d be risking your life going out there to find any of them. You cant fight, and all you have is a gun. Though you do have Feitan, but when you’re with him he likes doing things his way like you when have a certain time to the eat and bathe.

Everything centered around him basically, and how he thinks he can keep you safe. Closet thing you get to seeing other people other than Feitan and his friends are the group of people that circle the block of buildings everyday to look for survivors. Sometimes every time you see them some people are missing from that group.

You wonder what happened to them. Maybe they turned into zombies, or maybe they were killed. Either way you felt bad for them. They were such nice people going out of their way to look for survivors, and giving out food. You wondered why you never saw anyone get anything from them. They seemed pretty generous to you.

Feitan got back inside after looking around the city for resources. Fortunately he came back with a lot of things. Tissues, canned food, wipes, more antibiotics for you to treat people with, and something in a pink bag. Feitan looked at you before walking over to you and staring into your eyes. He handed you the pink bag and walked into another room in the building. You concluded that he was going to talk to other members of the troupe.

You were kind of hesitant to opening the bag, but your curiosity got the better of you. It was a bracelet with the first initial of your name. You looked at the bracelet and put it on your wrist it was a perfect fit.

You smiled at the bracelet. Feitan watched you through the doorframe secretly there was just the slight smile on his lips. He would never admit it, but he wanted you to stay happy even in times like this.

You looked out the window to see that the group of people were still outside.

They were waving up at the window to get your attention. You looked down at them, and wondered what they wanted. You opened the window, and stuck your head out of it.

They held up a sign made out of cardboard stating “We need help finding our team member.” They turned the board around to the other side. “She has red hair a crop top, and blue jeans on. Have you seen her?”

You shook your head. Giving the group a bit of a pitiful look. That’s when Feitan came up from behind you and shut the window.

“What are you doing?” He asked with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

“The people outside lost one of their friends. They had asked me if I saw one of them-.”

“What people? I see no one.”

“Huh? I- they were just out there I swear Fei-.” You stutter trying to prove there were just people outside.

“You are hallucinating. You need sleep.”

You didn’t have the energy to argue with Feitan so you just did what he said. You weren’t hallucinating you knew you saw them you just had to prove it to Feitan.

The next day you decide to get proof that they are out there. They would surely come back. You made it your plan to go out there and meet them, and get a picture with them to show Feitan. You were going to take your gun just in case, and a camera. Just because you wanted to meet them didn’t mean they were good people you still had to be aware of the world you were still currently in.

You would get a couple of photos of them, and meet them. Just to see how they were as people, and maybe you could join their group part time. Maybe even help them look for their lost teammate. Though you had to wait when Feitan left to leave again.

You told yourself that you needed to be back before he did. You saw him mad before, but you could tell he was really serious about you not leaving where he placed you, so you needed to make sure to avoid that scenario.

You waited a couple hours, when Feitan got himself together to leave.

“I’m going now. Don’t look out the window again. I have something to tell you when I get back.”

“What is it?” You asked wanting to know now.

“I said when I get back.”

“What if you don’t come back.” You spat at him.

He only glared at you before leaving. He didn’t know why you were acting so different lately. Maybe you just needed some fresh air?

“I’ll take you somewhere when I get back.” He thought to himself.

You waited till you saw him leave with Phinks to prepare your bag to leave. You had a gun, and couple knives Feitan gifted you, your camera, and bullets. You waited till you saw them again and rushed outside to meet them. They were walking in front you, you just needed to get their attention.

“Uhm hi!”

They all turned in unison and looked at you weirdly. Their eyes seemed dazed, almost like they were confused. They were pale looking you just thought they haven’t eaten in a while. I mean it is hard to find food around here right?

“You guys seem a little hungry yeah? Uh I have a couple of scraps in my buliding I share it with my uh boyfriend so-.”

You were cut off by one of the members loud groaning. You felt the hairs on the back of your neck rise. You stood there confused on why you felt afraid, and why they were acting like this.

Feitan was raiding abandoned buildings nearby with Phinks. Phinks was looking out the window while Feitan was in the back ripping some dudes teeth out.

He spotted you frozen in place standing behind whisperers.

“Oh shit. Feitan I think there’s a problem.”

“What?” Again there was a hint of annoyance in Feitan voice due to Phinks distracting him from torturing his poor victim.

Feitan walked over to Phinksand looked out the window. His eyes widened in shock. He ran out the building trying to get to you as fast as he could.

Back with you, you smelled the familiar smell of a rotting corpse though you didn’t see any dead bodies around. You looked back up at the group of people one last time. These weren’t people.

You turned around to run away. In the midst of running you pulled out your gun to turn around and shoot the zombies. You fired three bullets at the zombies. The bullets stopped in mid air and paralleled back to you.

“But how? These aren’t people who can use nen?” You thought to yourself.

Your eyes widened in fear. Just as you were about to meet your fate Feitan pulled out his concealed sword, and adverted the bullets killing off three of the zombies. Although there was one left.

“I’ve got this one.” Phinks was eager to see what the whisper had in store for him.

Feitan didn’t hesitate to grab you and bring you back to your place of residence. Once you two got there you didn’t say anything, and turned around to leave. Feitan stopped you right in your tracks.

“What the hell were you doing?”

You got teary eyed and looked away.

“I wanted to show you that the people I was talking to yesterday were real, so I went out to get a photo with them. I just wanted to show you that I wasn’t some crazy person.”

You stumbled on your words and began to choke on your sobs. Feitan just stared at you he wasn’t big on physical affection nor did he really understand it, but he could understand when some needed a hug. Feitan went up to you from behind and embraced you. It was short, but it was something nonetheless. You didn’t want his warmth to leave, so you grab his hand bring him back close to you. You started to mumble little sorry’s here and there.

You two stood there for a little while before he took you to your shared bedroom. You won’t be going out for a while after this.

[randomlyblues]

Yandere!Zane x Librarian!Reader

TW: Kidnapping not beta read

You didn't understand how you ended up in this situation. The High Priest of O'kasis was here at your doorstep demanding information that you don't have.

"I don't take lightly to people who waste my time, so I will ask you again. Where is the information about the Divine Warriors! This can't possibly be all the information that you have!"

"Again Sir, I don't have what you seek! They have burned all the knowledge about them years ago."

You felt a pinch of fear when his eyes widened a little at the tone of your voice that was directed to him. You didn't mean to raise your voice at someone with a high status as you but he was getting on your last nerves not getting the hint that this is all that you can offer him. You have heard stories about how he uses his status of being this 'religious symbol' to cover up his cruel actions and even take part in executing people, if they deserve it or not.

Zane was quite impressed with you. He's lucky that his mask is hiding the grin that was starting to form on his face.

He originally wanted to come to the village library hoping to bump into you. The first time he took notice of you was when he had to wed a pathetic couple. They wanted him to take a days trip just to get them married at a village with the name 'Phoenix Drop', making him stop with is work. That is when he saw you in the crowd speaking with an excuse of a Lord that they call Aphmau. The conversation was lighthearted but nothing worthy for him to pay any mind until you started to mention Lady Irene and how his name was in the mix of the conversation. The way you said his name made him feel a sort of way. Zane found himself wanting to hear it again. He kept a note to himself that you may be valuable to him, drowning the weird feeling he got from his name being spoken.

Later in the evening he caught notice of your snappy attitude and how you tend to be more to yourself yet also spare a kind smile to people. Zane doesn't understand why you have caught his attention, he found himself tracking everything you did. To him you were just a normal pathetic thing with knowledge he can use, yet here he was admiring the power he can see that you hold. He just wants to break it. No not break it. Absorb it. Make it his. Make you his. He wants not only the power of your knowledge but you. So here he was, after the celebration had ended, in your little library admiring the audacity you had to talk to a high being in such a way.

" Of course, my apologies for speaking to a lady in such a rude manner," he bowed to you. You raised your eyebrow at his apologies, you didn't take him as a man that would do that.

"It's nothing," you brushed it off not noticing the way he looked at you as you begin to look for a girdle it can be easier for the man to carry them.

" I am guessing that you will be purchasing instead of returning since you have such a ways trip?"

"Can't spare to give them for free?"

"Will you have my head if I don't?" You said ,not meaning for it to sound appalled by his playful tone. Zane started to laugh at your statement causing you to tense up. Oh this beating heart of his is making you less and less annoying than other people. Oh is he going to have fun with you.

"Why would I do such a thing? That is a sin in the eyes of our dear Matron." You took notice at how his smile reached his eyes when the whole night that never seemed to be the case when other people approached him. Maybe the stories about him aren't true.

"Yeah you're right that was stupid of me to even say"

"Don't worry about it, it was a nice joke. What is your name?" It was a useless question to even ask since he already got his guards to find out for him a few minutes prior in order to find this place. You tell him your name.

" That is such a lovely name."

" Why thank you High Priest," you bow. Oh did he enjoy that. A weak thing like you bowing to him and looking at him like that. What he would do is just for you to look at him with those eyes for all eternity. Yet the way you say his status instead of his actual name caused him to make an unsatisfied face.

"Would you like to accompany me to my ship to help me?"

You took a moment to think about it. It wasn't an unusual request from people so you didn't know why you were so hesitant. It was probably just the tales about him that have stopped you or maybe the fact he has guards that could do that for him. Realizing you have taken a while to reply you tell him yes and follow.

After helping him with the books you tell him about his payment.

"Oh yes of course."

Before you knew it, you were knocked out quickly. Zane looked down at your unconscious state. Oh how pathetic and vulnerable you were, don't worry he would take care of you.

Part 2

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Melon Bug (again)

Debut: Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island

(I wanted to write some more about Melon Bug, and I liked the original post just fine, so this post will be a continuation since that one was so short!)

An isopod! Oh, joyous day! It may not look like one at all with that big ol’ nose, but when it’s rolled up, there is no mistaking it! Here’s a very fun fact: when an isopod curls into a ball, it’s called conglobation! Use that in your everyday lives.

Melon Bug technically isn’t an enemy, you know the drill, weird Mario friends, that usual thing. When curled up, Yoshi can lick them up and spit them out, defeating enemies they hit! Could this be the first instance of weaponized isopods?

The Player's Guide says "These feisty hoppers transform from bug to melon and back again." Feisty? They're only slightly more feisty than a real pill bug! And a real pill bug has a negative Feistiness Level. I don't think whoever wrote this has played the game, since Melon Bug is harmless! I also don't think they know about real pill bugs, because they clearly can't cogitate conglobation. A bug transforming into a melon? How unrealistic! What do they think this is, Trip World?

I think "Melon Bug" is a very good name. An incredible name, even! When Melon Bug curls up, it, obviously, resembles a melon, what with both being round with stripes. While real pill bugs don't really have "stripes", their tergites (armor plates) do give a "lined" appearance. If you ask me, Melon Bug could be a good name even for real terrestrial isopods!

What do YOU call pill bugs? I've always called them roly-polies, but they have so many wacky names. Woodlouse? Yeah sure, a bug that lives under wood, why not! Butchy-boy? I don't get it, but it's funny. Then there are all the names comparing them to pigs which I just do not get, but groundhogs also get compared to pigs in common names a lot, so maybe people just don't know pigs as well as they like to think. And THEN! England gave them a bunch of CHEESE-related names. What is happening over there? Are British people somehow making cheese from isopod secretions? Why would you call this creature a CHEESELOG? That's a straight up food! I kind of love this name for them for being so ridiculous! Anyway, my point with all this is that Melon Bug would be more actually fitting than the majority of the common names these have been given, but sometimes it is more fun to be unfitting!

Isn't it weird how Melon Bug's art doesn't quite look like the sprite? Such bulging eyes in the art, but little dots in-game... well, we now know the reason!

Remember Super Donkey, from the 2020 gigaleak? I feel like it's been far too forgotten for how interesting it is! Anyway, as I mentioned when talking about that game, Melon Bug was originally designed for it! It seems like the Yoshi's Island art was drawn before they decided to shrink its sclerae, and lighten its colors, but after they decided to give it little red shoes.

If you grew up calling roly-polies something else, or if you know fun names from other languages, I would love to hear them! And I hope you love and appreciate these creatures! They are so common and easy to observe, so rather than get jaded to their presence, celebrate them, and you will be able to find delight whenever you turn over a log!

[beevean]

If I’m being honest, you are all getting way too hung up on fake diseases and attacking a writer as if he personally attacked your family. It’s a strange obsession you have and you guys always come at any small nitpick as if it’s the end of the world. It’s a weird obsession and you have all been doing it for years. Maybe you liked Sunset Heights getting a remix but you also play victim when people don’t like the 2010s games. You can see Sonic is more successful now and doing things much better but you just like to sit in your anger towards the series for years. I’ll add that you’re much more sane in your reactions than RandomtheFox, but this whole side of the fandom here is so pathetic. The endless loop of anything new coming out for Sonic, and your little posse hating on it because it isn’t the meta era or because Ian Flynn has his name on it makes me glad you guys are a small minority in the fandom.

Do you want to know why we're discussing this?

If you go back and read our discussions, see how much we brought up with this little detail!

I looked up the effects of low gravity on the human body: I learned something new about science. I tried to put into words why this detail is harder to accept than Sonic breathing in space: this is about stories and world building. I immediately found a replacement idea. We discussed about SA2, its gameplay mechanics, its cutscenes. Someone even brought up the idea of drawing parallels with AIDS and how it would affect Maria. Negativity can stem from a place of reasoning, "how would I do that?", and it makes me use my brain in a fun way. I'm aware it's a inconsequential detail, but I'm having fun!

As for the rest of the message, yeah, we are a minority. Which makes me wonder why you care so much about a group of, what, four people?

Why don't I get any engagement when I'm positive, but suddenly people are up my ass when I talk about something negative? I didn't even tag most of my posts. Bro half of the Sonic fandom blocked me already because I'm a dirty sinning IDW non-enjoyer. I am not bothering anyone.

By the way, my negativity about IDW once even resulted in me writing a fic about it. Again, creativity and genuine discussions about writing a story and its downfalls. It nourishes the brain.

I don't like this new direction for Sonic. There, happy? I don't feel catered to, as a 2000s fan, by all this "REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE COOL????" stuff, not to mention I'm just not a Shadow fan so seeing him with wings and shit does nothing for me. I am annoyed because this used to be a franchise dear to me, but the current environment, both games and fandom, alienates me. I am also aware that, precisely because I'm in the minority, I'll just have to wait until ST changes trend again.

If my writer side activates when I talk about a writing decision I don't like and I'm having fun dissecting it, let me, alright? You can find me cringe, if you want to, but I'm not doing anything different than other fans, just directed towards a less acceptable target and in the privacy of my blocked blog.

Also: to be perfectly honest, if it only takes me one day of mild bitching to get anons yelling at me that I'm a joyless bastard doomed to be sad because I refuse to be happy, it kind of makes me want to be saltier out of spite. I'm already a bad person, might as well, right?

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Tenebrous at 3

Matt Blairstone: i'm matt blairstone of tenebrous press Blairstone: publisher of such quality literature as split scream Blairstone: featuring bitter karella's The Ballad of Horse Girl Blairstone: available where ever fine books are sold King: sorry, what was that name again? King: i forgot Blairstone: it's bitter karella Blairstone: B-I-T-T...

Blairstone: a lot of people know us mostly as the publisher of Bitter Karella's the Ballad of Horse girl Blairstone: but in 3 years Tenebrous Press has published plenty of other fine horror literature Blairstone: like the anthology Your Body is Not Your Body, featuring Bitter Karella's The Divine Carcass Blairstone: and the Brave New Weird anthology, featuring Bitter Karella's Low Tide Jenny

Blairstone: i'm matt blairstone and this is my associate alex woodroe Blairstone: an authentic Romanian crone King: kind of young for a crone isn't she? Blairstone: oh it's state of mind Alex Woodroe: i cast the evil eye upon you, nenorocit

King: tell us more about tenebrous press Blairstone: well it's an indie press dedicated to all that's weird Woodroe: foolish youth hold your tongue! Woodroe: these occult secrets are not for the ears of ignorant outsiders! Woodroe: begone, outsider! your kind isn't welcome here!

King: look i'm just trying to get some service at this mysterious roadside inn at the edge of the dark woods King: and it's almost like you don't want my business Woodroe: in old country, we chase you with pitchfork mob for less than this!

King: fine maybe i'll just be on my way Woodroe: leave but be ye warned! Woodroe: stay off the moors! Woodroe: stray not from the road! Woodroe: don't go into the deep dark forest! Woodroe: and stay away from the mysterious castle! King: that's a lot to remember King: i'd better write this down

Blairstone: can you believe that we've been publishing fine horror such as Bitter KArella's The Ballad of Horse Girl for 3 years now? Blairstone: where does the time go? Alex Woodroe: only in america! Woodroe: what a country! Woodroe: in America, you find party Woodroe: in soviet Romania, party find you! Woodroe: [turning to camera] the fun fact is that pigs, like humans, can get sunburned

Blairstone: wow! 3 years! can you believe it? Woodroe: in romania, we mark occasion by sacrifice of the cockerel and eating of the turnip Woodroe: we thank president Dracula for our good fortune Woodroe: and vice president Frankenstein Woodroe: and speaker of the house wolfman Blairstone: i'm learning so much

Blairstone: of course in 3 years we've published other things Blairstone: like colin Hinkley's the black lord Blairstone: about an eldritch god in the woods menacing an innocent family Woodroe: in old country, is documentary filmed in real time as it happen

Blairstone: and Anthony Engebretson's lumberjack Blairstone: about a lumberjack who's a real fuck up Engebretson: he's also dealing with this evil imp Engebretson: but yeah also he's a fuck up Woodroe: in America, you jack lumber Woodroe: in old country, lumber jack you!

King: wow it sounds like you've got some real WEIRD literature there! Jeff Vandermeer: did someone say... WEIRDDDDDD?? Blairstone: That's right! there's so many weird and unusual books Blairstone: and its all happening right now... Woodroe: at tenebrous press!

In all seriousness, Tenebrous Press is doing incredible work on the indie horror scene and, if you haven't read their offerings, you owe it to yourself to take a gander over at https://tenebrouspress.com/. My very first story ever published was The Divine Carcass in Tenebrous' Your Body is Not Your Body, and I would not be where I am today had it not been for Tenebrous. Go see what weirdness they've got cooked up for their three year anniversary!

[sleeplesslark]

i love kabuto but his ugly fit pisses me off sm. And the worst part is it's not even his own style, its his goon uniform. I wonder did others chunin examinees find it weird that kabuto's whole team dressed exactly the same or did they just think that as like an impressive display of "close bond and team harmony"? It's giving company t-shirts with the word "family" on it.

Omg thank you anon this is such a fun ask. "Goon uniform" is fantastic.

Agreed on Kabuto's part 1 outfit being a uniform. He has so little control of his outfits through his life really. Him being shoved in yet another uniform once he joins the relative freedom of Otogakure is darkly funny in a way. "Yes you can go find yourself but...yeah no we have a dress code here." Admittedly I do kind of love the gloves, shame they don't show up after pt 1.

Also the first time he gets freedom to dress himself as an adult he keeps trucking with the uniform for a bit + cloak and then just goes snake cloak and pants. He's such a dork in all the most delightful ways. Then right back to the orphanage uniform as far as we know!

I wish we knew what the other chunin exam people thought of Kabutos team dressing the same, but no one outside Orochimaru, and the team themselves, seems to have opinions on Yoroi and Misumi. It isn't like Kabuto and Orochimaru think much about them either tbh.

Maybe Orochimaru wanted their outfits to match like their names do.

Thank you again for the ask, this made my week.

[kelklown]

Guys, i wanted to share this Wattpad fanfic i read a long time ago, the original is in Spanish so i transtalted it 😭‼️ i’ll put the credits later, i don’t remember the name of the person who wrote this. Btw-..sorry if the translation is wrong or weird. (I used translator bc I’m at school so yeah, I’ll edit the errors later)

Fanfic by: Rinkataku on Wattpad

____________________________________________

Strawberry - Genderbend Beavhead

On a particularly imperfect Highland night, where cicadas were singing in search of a mate and the heat of the day was calmed by the winds of their arid region, another pair of young people sat on the sidewalk of a large fenced yard. The house, tacky like few others, had been given by one of the least acclaimed boys in school, Stewart Stevenson, who took care of her after her parents' business trip. Taking advantage of the absence and given his desperation to break the stereotype of the nerdy chubby person, he agreed to have a totally free party at his house. Free from control, his nerdy friends and security, of course.

However, he invited the only pair of students who noticed his presence so far and broke the mold of the status quo, Beavery and Assgirl. Both seemed to be indifferent to the rest of the school, so the boy considered it a gesture of kindness that would later be rewarded... He still hoped that Beav would notice. Unfortunately, she seemed to be too busy watching other kids, eating, or just laughing at whatever idiotic things were happening. Obviously she had time for anything but him.

The boy, heartbroken, came out for air, finding the girl sitting next to her friend, ending up irritating him. Did they never separate for even a second? Clenching his fists, he turned around and tried to continue with what he did: serve others in an attempt to be recognized.

—Hey, look at it, there it goes. Tremendous idiot, huhuhu

-one of the girls muttered in a meek voice, drawing the attention of the other girl.

-Shit! Shall we do two out of three?

They had bet a milkshake from the self-service to find Stewart first, because being short and plump it was very funny to see him running around the house to lick the soles of all his companions. Assgirl looked back at her friend, laughing.

-Uhh, no.

Beavery's grimace of discontent appeared, being replaced after a while by another broad smile. She relaxed her posture and made clear her intention to stay sitting right there, raising her little blue eyes to the sky half orange due to light pollution.

She frowned, thinking, and decided to change the subject drastically: "Tonight sucks, huh." More than normal.

—Wow! Wait, you're right. —The brunette, instead of looking at the sky, stared at the curvature of Beav's nose, tucking a lock of hair behind her own ear.

We came here, they don't offer us anything, and we don't get to drink alcohol or do anything fun.

—Hehe, I don't even remember why we got ready and dressed well if we were just coming to stupid Stewart's house! -With notable annoyance, she passed a hand over her lips, removing the lipstick that she had so primitively applied, leaving part of her palm fuchsia.

—I shouldn't have listened to you. -She pretended not to have been the one with the idea, but waited for the opposite to get up. Let's get out of this pigsty...Beavery?

There was no case. The girl with blonde curls was immersed in pleasant amazement, stopping to smell the lipstick she had in her hand. Her gaze shone with that flash of childhood that she occasionally let out, giving her friend a reason to stay and wait for her.

-Assgirl, Assgirl! The lipstick smells like strawberry.

I didn't just slap her because...

—Let's see, huhu.

...She also hadn't realized they bought one of those flavored lipsticks.

She held out his palm with the fuchsia mark and watched as the woman hid a smile when she appreciated that sweet aroma. Without adding anything for the moment, both girls stood up from the sidewalk and dodged anyone on their way to the exit. The dawn broke through with a cooler breeze, typical of a night of disappointments like that. However, Beavery's discovery had her shamelessly sniffing her own hand, as if it were glued to her face, hiding the mess she had made on her cheeks when she smudged her lipstick.

From time to time, they both laughed at some joke on their way home.

—Can you imagine a dead body tasted one? -

The blonde asked after a brief silence.

—Huhu, no, one that tastes like shit would be better.

And that alone was enough to keep them entertained without other distractions until they reached the door. Upon entering, the first thing they did was take off their shoes and settle into the couch; With the sweltering summer it was impossible for them to sleep in Assgirl's room, since the garbage under the bed filled the atmosphere with stench. At that time there was little or nothing on the television programming, so they decided to leave a channel where reruns of Jackass were playing in the background to sleep.

The blonde raised her legs and curled up on the couch, facing her partner. She watched her carefully, like someone silently asking for something. Assgirl was about to take off her bra under her shirt, as she usually did, but the opposite inquisitive look left her inhibited for a moment. She pretended to be distracted and crossed her legs, almost breaking out in a cold sweat. When she decided to speak, confronting her friend became impossible; She had come closer until she occupied a large part of the couch.

-What are you--!

—Can I taste your lips?

The brunette sank into the corner, red as a tomato, trembling. And the reaction generated a blush in the opponent that mixed with the pink that remained on her cheeks. Beavery's spontaneity used to be a deadly weapon that she didn't even control. They gave a second of truce while Assgirl took a breath.

-What..?

—Your lips. I want to know if they taste like strawberries. -She dropped to her knees so as not to invade the opponent's personal space so much, relaxing his expression. Don't you?

In fact, it was something that she asked herself in her subconscious as well, and when the mystery came to the surface it ended up turning her face red. She wanted to say no, but if they started to discuss it they couldn't sleep on the same couch without punching and kicking each other first.

—Did you manage to drink beer and not tell me?

Huhu...

The laughter was contagious, but she shook her head, between his typical knowing glances that at that moment seemed to take on other dimensions. In one of the few contacts.

Directly, both pairs of eyes seemed to articulate the same doubt: Would kissing automatically make them lesbians?

—Just a peak. —She lowered the bet considerably, as long as he accepted. Or are you, hehe, a coward?

That last question did seem necessary, because when Beavery asked it for the first time in so long, it lit that fuse of provocation that existed in both hollow leaders. Still red with anger and shame, Assgirl grabbed her friend's cheeks to pull her to her face, as close as her pride would allow, hoping that her opponent would do the same and disappear from her sight. She, just as nervous or perhaps more, worked to extinguish the little distance that remained between both lips, until she captured the other's lips.

However, it was not enough to feel any flavor, just the warmth of the chaste contact and their intertwined breaths, a strong reminder of the closeness that a kiss implied. Before any of them moved away due to the pressure, Beav moved her lips, barely moisturizing them with his tongue and leaving small kisses on the opposite one. Her heart skipped a beat with happiness to see that it was working, she felt the strawberry! It was fucking paradise.

Before she warmed to the sensation, she noticed that she felt somewhat tight. The other's hands closed on her cheeks and hurt enough to bother her. She half-opened his eyes and met the small gaze of her companion, who seemed even more disturbed than her own. She moved away slightly, and when she tried to speak he felt how her hands seemed to want to close more between her cheeks, causing her lips to press together in a sympathetic way. Only when Assgirl asked to be released did she realize that this expression was not a mockery of her partner, but a product of her own nerves. When she released her, her palms were sticky due to the blonde's previous sweat and stains.

None of them could look at each other for a long time, during which they could only hear an eternal infomercial about a kind of lawnmower with insecticide included. When Beavery began to return to her place, she was interrupted by the brunette, who called her with an insult in between.

Filled with courage, she threw himself into her arms and kissed her back, trying to savor also the trace of lipstick that had been left on her friend’s lips. In reciprocation, Beav noted that in addition to feeling like she was in a higher fucking paradise than before, kissing required more than just random movements. Without realizing it, both were trying to keep up, but the nerves and temperature made that contact sticky and irregular. What lasted centuries for both of them was really just a couple of minutes and when they separated they looked at each other between amusement and annoyance.

—Okay, that felt cool. —The girl with braces gave her consent between crude laughs, and then maintained some seriousness. But we are not lesbians.

[sprunkimortality]

uhh uhh what do the sprunkies think of wenda?

Oren: "Wenda? She's fine I guess. She looks at me weird sometimes, but like…no biggie, bruh. She's chill otherwise." Raddy: "Oh, yeah, I know her. CEO's daughter from the Big City. She's still kinda a snob, huh? I wonder why she moved to Smalltowne. Eh….I can't be bothered to ask her. Last time we talked was when she tried to charm me into giving her a freelance job." Clukr: "Actually, I do not appreciate her calling me a nerd in a teasing manner. Additionally, she needs to learn self control. Curiosity kills the cat, they say, but in her case she's the cat that killed my PROGRESS IN THAT PROJECT THAT TOOK ME WEEKS TO POLISH! Huff. Excuse me for the unprecedented increase in my vocal volume." Fun Bot: "I love her groove! Especially when she starts doing the cool thing where she spins on the floor!" Vineria: "Hmmm…I don't talk to her much, our wavelengths are far off. But I sense that she's trying to be better, in whatever manner that might be…she seems nice."

Gray: "She's come a long way." Brud: "Me like Wenduh. Wenduh say me stinky. Me no stink. Wenduh bit mean. But still like Wenduh!" Garnold: "She's pretty alright. She teases me though. Oh, and she broke a bunch of our equipment once, and Clukr gets all agitated thinkin' about it, so…she can't really visit the lab anymore until we're both extra sure that she won't wreck anything." OWAKCX: "U- Uhhrrgh…s- s- she reminds me of someone…b- b-…bad…" Sky: "Wenda is so cool! She gave me this piercing on my ear in secret! She can't babysit me anymore though."

Mr. Sun: "Oh, yes, the Sassy one! She can be charming at times, but I wouldn't fall for her little tricks and bribes so easily! It can be tempting, though. Look at her, adorable!" Durple: "Wenda, my dearest bestie! She has been my right-hand lady since the very beginning, before we even moved into this town! I will not spare the personal details, but we have helped each other through troubles and tribulations! If there's one person in the world I'd want to live with for eternity…it would be her." Mr. Tree: "Her eyes…they seem exhausted, though she hides it under her eyeshadow. I know that look…" Simon: "Wenda is awesome! Sure she gets into a couple messes, but she's still the best at being her preppy, sassy self! And she's a great friend, especially to Durple! Kinda makes me wanna get closer to her and be her friend too, but I don't know much on how to gossip. That's their thing, ain't it? Oh, and she makes me look nice before events sometimes! I'd always look like a whole new Sprunki with her makeover, haha!" Tunner: "I'm still waitin' for her ta' tend to 'er 100 hours of unserved community service. I don't appreciate her giving my sonny an ear piercin' either. But…I don't really hate 'er. She just needs ta' learn that she can't get 'er way all the time."

Mr. Fun Computer: "She makes a great co-host to my gameshows! Her spunk is the key that makes it all feel extra special!" Pinki: "Wenda has such refined taste! She's given me recipes for foods I've never heard of before! Not just baked goodies, but anything that can be cooked, really! She says it's what people like to eat in the Big City. Sometimes they have funny names, but they come out quite good! I'll stick to my sweets, though. Heehee~! It's my thing!" Jevin: "Pointed ears, sharp as her words, Wenda may have lots to learn. Her eyes avoid my perceptive gaze, but I see the hidden kindness on her face. One more thing; she finds me chilling. Her reactions always send me giggling."

Black: "Can't really stand her sometimes. She thinks a couple coy looks in the eyes would get her free passes to do anything. Sorry, lass. The world doesn't work like that. Can I also just say how much I hate how picky she is? If it were something revolting I would understand, but she once hesitated to bite a hotdog. A HOTDOG. Imagine that?!" Saves: "She's a sweet young lady, I think. That's how I feel looking at her…I can't quite remember what our interactions were about, but…I do feel that she's good at heart." Ciqu: "Abysmal. 100 hours of community service can't do justice. She needs to be scrutinized and kept in a controlled environment." Sprinkles: “She’s pretty cool! She’s helped me pick cute outfits for things before and I like sharing my secrets with her. She’s got a lot of confidence! I hope to have a lot of that too when I grow up!” Calvin: “She’s awesome. She’s pretty laid back and basically lets us do whatever we want when she would take care of us. Like she let Sky get his ears pierced even though his dad got super irritated about it! I know she would do the same for me…but I don’t wanna get her in trouble again.”

[darkfictionjude]

I've followed blogs without a demo before and while sometimes it has paid off - I find myself doing it less and less overtime because all too often I go back to a blog 3/4 months later and find it dead with no demo.

That being said in a lot of cases the demos never being finished feels like a cycle of :

*wanting to foster interest and community around your writing* -> *writing an IF is a huge task and it takes longer than expected to learn coding/write a branching narrative/limit story scope to a feasible level* -> *interest dies down because it has been a long time with no demo* -> *low/no interaction on posts ends up feeling demotivating especially when compared to other IF authors so they lose passion for the project*

To compromise, on my part I don't often follow blogs with no demo but if I'm genuinely interested in the story I try to go back to the blog and like/reblog posts or ask questions if there's anything I'm curious about. I definitely think you should write what you want for yourself without necessarily expecting attention - but attention and interaction is always going to feel good regardless.

At the end of the day as an audience member you're never actually 'owed' free content (especially given that its more often then not a passion project) so I have no hard feelings for writers who make demo blogs just to share some fun info about their characters/story and then dip - even if it can feel disappointing.

It 100% feels weird/kind of scammy to have a patreon if you haven't actually written anything though, because you're taking money from people (who often don't have huge amounts in the first place) before they even know if they like your writing/world/story - and before they know if you're capable of actually fulfilling any of the promises you make (which given that IF is generally much longer than a traditional novel is a *massive* promise to make to your audience in exchange for their financial support).

After an author has dropped a demo (even before any/consistent updates) patreon is all good in my book. At that point the audience has a 'sample' of the writing and can use that as a method to judge if they enjoy it. As long as the promised content on the patreon tiers are being fulfilled - you as an audience member are now getting what you've paid for - and can unsubscribe at any point if you no longer wish to keep paying for it.

Yeah I do feel like writers tend to want to work on something that will sell, and why not? It feels good to know your hard work is recognized and appreciated

This is a very nuanced take, I feel that some people even get angry when writers disappear, which yeah I’ve been burned before but like I don’t understand getting pissed when at the end of the day there are more games out there and as you said, no one is owed free content. IF writers are hobbyists, like this is a side thing for most of us it’s a gruelling hobby not only work load wise but also if you unfortunately get anons being mean to you

Yeah I didn’t want to say that but it does feel strange when there’s no work but there’s a Patreon. Because Patreon is just additional writing, it’s meant to be complementary to the main work. People pay for additional writing because they hope it adds to their experience when reading the IF proper.

I mean based on the name it is a modern version of being a painter in Europe during the renaissance and have a richer patron pay you to make art 😭

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Little Earthquakes - An Original Story.

So, besties. I thought I'd test the waters with the prologue to my new story. I know so many of you aren't here for originals, but I can but hope I'll find a few readers. Nothing would delight me more! Now, let's get to introducing you to the new world and people within it! I've tagged a few people who I thought might be interested, but if not, no worries.

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed.

Words - 2,831

Warnings - 18+ throughout. Minors DNI!

Prologue.

In every year group of every school the world over, there is always the girl. She’s the one whom other girls covet to be like, and pretty much all of the boys want to get with. In the year eleven group of Fulham Green Academy, west London, back in two thousand and five, that girl had been Holly Madden.  

She was popular, kind, proficient academically, and god, she was beautiful. Holly was also the girl one of her classmates would have asked out in a heartbeat, had Nathan ever been able to sum up the courage to open his mouth and speak to her. Various other factors prevented such, too, namely that they socialised in two vastly different groups at their mixed senior school. She was one of the popular girls, after all, and Nathan one of the alternative kids.  

The two groups seldom mixed.  

That was until one night when Lee Harris, the kid who loved everybody regardless of what social group they slotted into, threw a large end of term party. It was a classic example of ‘my parents are on holiday, I’m not, everybody come over!’ that led to much teenage abandon and hedonistic excess. Especially if your name was Nathan Gill.  

The only difference? He hadn’t actually wanted to end up in the state he had. Not at all. Enter one Chris Lawrence and a tray full of weed-infused brownies. 

“This tastes weird,” Nathan announced, yet for the kid with a massive disposition for demolishing anything chocolatey, it still hadn’t stopped him from consuming it. 

Chris didn’t know how the hell he managed to stop himself from falling apart laughing, standing with their cohort Kelsey, both playing captive audience to the mild deception of their friend. “Does it? Can’t think why, blud.” 

“Yeah.” He then paused in chewing the last mouthful, watching his friends carefully. “Why are you’s staring at me?”  

“No reason,” Kelsey chimed, clapping a hand to his shoulder, almost able to hear his brain ticking away within his skull. 

“Have you put something in this?” The two snorts of laughter were confirmation that yes, they very much had. “Oh, shit off! Nah man, that’s proper messed up.”  

His friends howled, watching a very disgruntled Nathan deal with the confirmation that he had indeed been doped. Chris reached for him, ruffling his hair. “Bruv, it’s only a bit of ganja, yeah?” 

“Yeah, but I don’t pissing smoke weed, do I?” 

“And you still haven’t,” Chris chimed. “You’ve ate it!” 

The pout on his face had his friends furtherly descending. “Don’t like being stoned though, do I? That’s why I don’t have nothing to fucking do with the cheeba!” Getting a rise out of the usually very chilled, very zen Nathan was half the fun of it. Seeing him stoned off his balls was the other, Nathan still furious as he finished the remainer of his can of Carlsberg. “I’m not talking to either of you’s.” 

How right he was, for when it kicked in, speech was beyond him completely. 

“Nath, you alright, mate?” Lee, the party host asked an hour later, finding Nathan sitting at the kitchen nook with a pad of paper and a pen. A note was scrawled. 

“Yeah, just can’t speak. Too mashed. Got spiked via cake.” 

Reading the words, he began to laugh. “Ahhh, the pot brownies? Nice!” More scribbling followed. 

“Not nice! I don’t like weed!” 

To Lee’s credit, he held in the desire to piss himself laughing at his mate’s anguish.  

“Oh, right! You want a coffee or something? My mum has the fancy machine so I’ll make you one if you want?” 

“No thanks. Just wanna throw Chris and Kels into a pissing landfill!” 

He boomed with laughter, shaking his head. “Well, I best be moving along, got to do the mingling thing. Later mate!” 

“Bye.”  

He was left alone then, except for the glances from across the kitchen from Kelsey, who was trying her luck chatting up one of the sixth form girls while keeping a watchful eye on him. That suited him fine, not actually able to speak anyway, sitting there feeling very, very high. It was a different high to smoking it, he had to confess, but he still didn’t like it much.  

He felt very fuzzy around the edges, his vision faltering a little bit, but not so much that he couldn’t make out the face of the girl he fancied when she approached him half an hour later. Oh, god. Why Holly Madden? Why now? 

Sitting down in the nook adjacent to him, her smile glowed. “Hi, Nathan. You okay?” He turned the pad of paper to her and pointed to the first statement he’d written to Lee, wishing the ground would open up and swallow him whole. “Ohhhh, not one for weed then, no?” 

“Bingo.” 

“Do you want me to leave you be, or can I kotch here? I need a time out, too many drunk people.” 

He scribbled, feeling his heart racing. Holly Madden wanted to sit with him. Him! 

“That’s fine, but I’ll be on mute for the foreseeable.”  

Shrugging, she smiled, a smile that made his heart skip. “That’s fine. I’m not really into loud people. Even when you’re talking you seem quiet and chilled. I like that.”  

She’d actually noticed those attributes? Oh, god. It was a good job he couldn’t speak, because if he could he’d have likely ballsed it up spectacularly. Then again, it wasn’t surprising. Holly was very much like the party host in the fact she was open to mingling with everyone, regardless of her status as one of the popular girls. “So, I noticed your display board for the examiners before we broke up. That charcoal you did of the snake was incredible!” 

They’d been in the same art group as well as form class at school, submitting their final presentation to the exam board in the shape of a display of their work, which made up half of their GSCE grade. Nathan nodded, taking the pen and scribbling out a note.  

“Thanks. I was proud of that one. Loved your stuff, too.”  

She was sure he was just being polite since their artistic styles so vastly differed, but thanked him for the compliment anyway. “I’m crapping myself about the results. I really, really want to get in at UAL. Are you thinking uni, too, or something else?” 

Again, he began to write. “Yeah, uni. Loughborough, I wanna get out of London for a few years.” 

It was a good university, showing clearly that he had a lot of ambition. Sitting there, Holly began to feel a little uncomfortable, the manor of communication strange in the fact he couldn’t actually speak. Also, she felt shy. He had no idea how fucking cute he was, which was an odd feeling to experience, being that he was the furthest from her usual taste in guys.  

“Well, I’m going to head back to my friends. If you regain the power of speech, come find me.” 

Come find her? She actually wanted him to come and find her? While his brain flew into a panic, his note was calm and succinct.  

“Alright. Bye, Holly.” Whether or not he could, he knew that he wouldn’t, though, waiting until she’d left the kitchen before groaning and pulling his hood up over his head as he slumped down, wanting to hide. Oh, the shame of it. Too stoned to talk to the girl he liked when the opportunity to do so had landed right in his lap, and he’d blown it.  

Fuck Chris. Fuck Kelsey.  

He had to hand it to the latter, though. At midnight when they’d left, she’d been the one to carry him over her shoulder into the waiting taxi when he’d found he was without the use of his legs as well as his voice. Thank goodness she was a big girl, just a little shorter than him at six feet to his six feet two, and built like an ox.  

She’d also carried him safely up the stairs and into her bed, stripping his skate trainers and jeans before climbing in herself, definitely worse for wear. Being very much out in her status as a lesbian, her parents didn’t give two hoots about her sharing a bed with male friends at all, knowing there was more chance of hell freezing over than any sexual shenanigans occurring between them.  

Not that either of them had ever tiptoed out of virgin territory at that point in their lives. As he fell asleep, Nathan kicked himself that the girl he very much would have liked to change that with had been the one he couldn’t even speak to, and now it was too late. He’d likely never cross paths with the beautiful Holly Madden again now they’d left school. 

He was partly right there, their lives leading them in very different directions for many years after that night. Nineteen, to be exact. While she had never left London, Nathan had been to Loughborough, lived up in Edinburgh for a few years, gone over to spend time in Dublin, living a very carefree existence as a freelance tattoo artist who travelled from shop to shop. 

Life was everything he’d ever wanted it to be, and he all but forgot about Holly completely. 

Arriving back in London at twenty-seven, he’d met a girl, deciding to set up permanent roots in the city again. He and Lisa had married a year later, and a few months after that he, Kelsey and Chris had all gone into business together. The three had coveted to work in the tattoo world since their time at school, Nathan the only one who had gotten an apprenticeship and done it right out of leaving university.  

Kelsey had tired of the monotony of managing bars, and Chris was more than fed up of work in retail, so both had moved into their chosen field finally six and three years before, respectively. In two thousand and seventeen, Carpe Diem had opened its doors on Sailsbury Road, Queen’s Park.  

It was truly wonderful, the three best friends all reunited and running a thriving business together. Until the day where things started to go awry for one of them finally came along.  

“Kels, why you hovering, blud?” Chris asked, glad to be coming to the end of a lot of linework on the full backpiece he was starting on his client that afternoon. Pausing to reload ink, he raised an eyebrow, looking to the back of the shop as Kelsey listened in at the door of the private room used for clients receiving a body piercing.  

Craning her ears, she could hear it just above the sound of music playing, the band Soundgarden’s classic Black Hole Sun muffling the other noise emanating. Well, unless you listened closely, like her. With widened eyes, she moved away rapidly, shaking her head with her hands held out wide. 

“Oh, no, no, no.”  

Chris was perplexed. “What?” 

Jerking her thumb, she mouthed her reply, lest the client on the table before him hear what she’d had to. “He’s shagging in there.”  

His eyes all but fell out onto the hardwood floor beneath his feet. “Fuck off!” he mouthed back. 

“I’m serious!” she hissed in whisper, waving a pointed finger towards the back of the shop rapidly before beginning to clean down her station, ready and fresh for her next client. It wasn’t so much that he was a married man shagging somebody who wasn’t his wife, since he and Lisa were recently separated, it was the lack of professionalism to be doing it at his place of business with the girl whose navel he’d just pierced that shocked his friends more than anything.  

It would be fair to say he hadn’t quite been right since his marriage had come to an end. If either was truly honest, his behaviour had been very decidedly unlike the Nathan they knew and loved for much longer. Shagging around now that he was separated was one thing, but doing such with a client right there in the shop, though, was quite another. People talked, after all.  

Kelsey stewed on it as she continued cleaning her station, not wanting his reputation as one of the most talented tattoo artists in the city to become besmirched by such, or the good name of the shop to suffer either. After all, it wasn’t solely his livelihood this kind of behaviour could affect.  

Five minutes later and the door opened, the girl walking out before Nathan, who moved to the sales desk and took her payment for the piercing. With Chris’s client also now out the door, the two artists turned to their friend, the latter shaking his head. 

“Who’s been a bad lad then, ay?” 

Nathan didn’t have a poker face for the life of him, yet still, he tried. “What?” 

“Oh, no, no, no,” Kelsey stated, pointing at him. “Can’t fool us. I know sex moaning when I hear it, no matter how quiet. Listen, you wanna sow your oats now you and Lisa have split, go ahead. But not in the bloody shop, Nath!”  

He shrugged. “Weren’t like I was being that loud.” He then turned to Chris, mischief broadening his grin. “Had to cup my hand over her mouth. Poor girl ain’t ever had a pierced dick before, bruv.”  

His friend wanted to be supportive to Kelsey’s very real concerns, but the lad in him won out. “Fuckin’ a, blud! Little randy bastard, ay?”  

He held out his fist, Nathan bumping it as he chuckled filthily. “I’m a free man again, and shit, can you blame me? Proper gorgeous, she was.”  

“For the love of the virgin Mary’s knicker elastic!” Kelsey cried, placing her hands on her hips. “Can we take this seriously and set a rule? No shagging in the bloody shop!!”  

Nathan moved to her, grabbing her face in his hands and kissing her head. Immediately, she was aghast. “Don’t you kiss me! I don’t know where your mouth was ten minutes ago. I don’t want any miscellaneous fanny juice on my face!” 

“Never thought those words would ever leave your mouth, ay,” Chris interjected with on a snort. 

Nathan all but broke apart in hysterics completely at them, wrapping Kelsey in a big, tight hug. “You’re safe, didn’t have time for that. But chill out, ‘kay? Nothing to stress about, Kels. Just a one off.”  

Being held close by her friend, there was something else amiss, she noted. Or rather smelled. Nathan usually reeked of nothing but Fahrenheit aftershave, his staple scent since his teen years. Now though, it was tinged with the smell of alcohol. “You been drinking?” 

Letting her go, he shrugged, moving to begin sorting inks over at the storage shelves, knowing they needed to re-order. “Had a few last night. Probably sweating it out.”  

She left it there, but truly, she didn’t believe a word of it. It smelled fresh, not that stale, boozy sweat stink people suffered after a night on the piss. Also, he showered twice a day religiously. Besides, to her knowledge, he hadn’t even gone out the night before. She’d left him there at the shop at ten the previous evening, Nathan locking up before heading upstairs to the tiny flat above, where he was now living after Lisa had kicked him out.  

It was conflicting, because Nathan wasn’t a liar either, Kelsey doubting herself a little as she welcomed her next client, a guy who was having the side of his neck finished off by her that afternoon. All thoughts of her friend and his slightly off behaviour were put aside, concentrating one hundred percent on her task at hand.  

As for Nathan, he moved to his book of line drawings, taking the relevant one out and placing it on the light box to make sure he was one hundred percent happy with it. He prided himself on giving his clients the very best of his work. The young woman whose navel he’d pierced could definitely testify to that after the repeated push of his cock piercing against her g spot had made her come so hard, she’d almost passed out.  

He smirked as he thought about her, noting that she was the first girl he’d ever fucked whose name he neither knew nor cared to know. For a man who didn’t really do sleeping around even before he was married, it made an exciting change now he was free from the bitch who he’d wasted the last seven years with.  

“Hi, I’ve got an appointment with Nathan?” 

Turning around, he couldn’t believe his eyes. There she was. “Erm, yeah. Yeah, that’s me. Hi, Holly.” 

He would have been lying if he’d claimed to have given his old school crush much thought in the nineteen years that had passed, but seeing her standing there, suddenly he felt just as he had at fifteen all over again.