#weird mario all stars

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Melon Bug (again)

Debut: Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island

(I wanted to write some more about Melon Bug, and I liked the original post just fine, so this post will be a continuation since that one was so short!)

An isopod! Oh, joyous day! It may not look like one at all with that big ol’ nose, but when it’s rolled up, there is no mistaking it! Here’s a very fun fact: when an isopod curls into a ball, it’s called conglobation! Use that in your everyday lives.

Melon Bug technically isn’t an enemy, you know the drill, weird Mario friends, that usual thing. When curled up, Yoshi can lick them up and spit them out, defeating enemies they hit! Could this be the first instance of weaponized isopods?

The Player's Guide says "These feisty hoppers transform from bug to melon and back again." Feisty? They're only slightly more feisty than a real pill bug! And a real pill bug has a negative Feistiness Level. I don't think whoever wrote this has played the game, since Melon Bug is harmless! I also don't think they know about real pill bugs, because they clearly can't cogitate conglobation. A bug transforming into a melon? How unrealistic! What do they think this is, Trip World?

I think "Melon Bug" is a very good name. An incredible name, even! When Melon Bug curls up, it, obviously, resembles a melon, what with both being round with stripes. While real pill bugs don't really have "stripes", their tergites (armor plates) do give a "lined" appearance. If you ask me, Melon Bug could be a good name even for real terrestrial isopods!

What do YOU call pill bugs? I've always called them roly-polies, but they have so many wacky names. Woodlouse? Yeah sure, a bug that lives under wood, why not! Butchy-boy? I don't get it, but it's funny. Then there are all the names comparing them to pigs which I just do not get, but groundhogs also get compared to pigs in common names a lot, so maybe people just don't know pigs as well as they like to think. And THEN! England gave them a bunch of CHEESE-related names. What is happening over there? Are British people somehow making cheese from isopod secretions? Why would you call this creature a CHEESELOG? That's a straight up food! I kind of love this name for them for being so ridiculous! Anyway, my point with all this is that Melon Bug would be more actually fitting than the majority of the common names these have been given, but sometimes it is more fun to be unfitting!

Isn't it weird how Melon Bug's art doesn't quite look like the sprite? Such bulging eyes in the art, but little dots in-game... well, we now know the reason!

Remember Super Donkey, from the 2020 gigaleak? I feel like it's been far too forgotten for how interesting it is! Anyway, as I mentioned when talking about that game, Melon Bug was originally designed for it! It seems like the Yoshi's Island art was drawn before they decided to shrink its sclerae, and lighten its colors, but after they decided to give it little red shoes.

If you grew up calling roly-polies something else, or if you know fun names from other languages, I would love to hear them! And I hope you love and appreciate these creatures! They are so common and easy to observe, so rather than get jaded to their presence, celebrate them, and you will be able to find delight whenever you turn over a log!

[golddynamoroller]

Okay. I’m gonna say it

going from these

to these

was a DOWNGRADE

[chloecherrysip]

Just Beyond My Reach, There's Someone Reaching Back For Me (speculative mario movie fic, mario & luigi centric, around 3600 words.)

[OK SO i literally could not stop thinking about this post in the mario movie tag from last week, which turned into me trying to write out my thoughts about how the scenario could unfold, which then turned into me writing a full-fledged fanfic that's over 3,000 words long??? I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I've truly lost my common sense, but I just felt like I HAD to get this out before the movie arrives and their reunion is nothing like this in any way whatsoever.

This is a speculative fic of just one possible scenario out of millions, no actual spoilers; i'm working off info we've seen in the trailers/TV spots/promotions/etc, and all the characterization is based off those too, so it might ultimately be off-base. Please don't @ me after the movie comes out and get on my case about details being wrong! I AM IN THE PAST (and jealous of you in the future for having already seen it).

I present to you: A Version Of Mario & Luigi's Reunion in the Mario Movie That Would Cause Me Irreparable Psychic Damage.]

----

Mario hears him first. He would know that panicked yelp anywhere. 

By that point, he’s lost count of how many of Bowser’s minions he’s tried to interrogate as he fights his way through the airship. There’s so much shouting and clanging all around him, and his voice hurts from yelling loud enough to be heard over it, but he can’t stop. “Where do you keep prisoners? Have you seen someone who looks like me — but tall, skinny, and green? If you take me to him, I’ll go easy on ya, I swear—” 

it’s hard to tell if they’re just refusing to answer him, genuinely don’t know any useful information, or can’t actually communicate in a way he understands — probably some in each column. But he’s about to grab another angry Koopa by the shell and try again when there’s a commotion far off in the distance. The yell that echoes out to him is faint, but it tugs hard at Mario like a rope tied around his middle. Something from his memories, the nightmares he’s been having this whole adventure that he hasn’t told Peach and Toad about. Something instantly, certainly familiar to him in a way that few things are. 

His heart is suddenly lodged in his throat. He barrels his way past the troops and the Kongs fighting them, moving fast towards it.

The area of the airship he’s in starts to slope down further ahead, surrounding a huge open space that, judging by the flickering embers in the air and heavy heat that’s got him sweating through his shirt already, has a whole bunch of lava simmering at the bottom. On the other side of the chasm, there are a whole group of what look like angry blue penguins beating down some feisty stacks of Goombas with their bare flippers. There’s also what impossibly looks like a star, with a face and everything, beaming bright and doing twirling cartwheels in the air, giggling at the carnage underneath. And behind all that, he can see—

Mario reacts without having to think. He jolts forward against the railing, reaches a hand out, and yells as loud as he can. “LUIGI!” 

He can only see glimpses of his overalls and green hat at first amidst all the other chaos, but then pieces of the ongoing fight tumble further to either side, giving a clear view. Mario watches wide-eyed as his brother frantically swats away Goombas, shrieking and flailing his arm furiously when one snags some teeth through his sleeve until it comes loose. He looks terrified and a little queasy, but also very determined, even jumping in to help when one of the penguins gets pinned down. They seem to be working together. 

Luigi is here. He’s really here, alive and fighting and still in one piece. Mario isn’t too late. It feels like a 20 pound weight’s suddenly gone from his back that he hadn't even realized he was carrying around.

His yell is half-drowned out by the chaos, but Luigi’s head still snaps up, eyes wide and stricken and bright with recognition. “Mario?” He cries out, his voice cracking badly. He kicks another Goomba away and then starts spinning, searching the surrounding area with increasing desperation. “Mario!?” 

“Over here!” Mario wishes he had another raccoon powerup so he could just fly across the gap and reach him right then and there. He has to settle for taking off his cap and waving it in the air like a flag. “Luigi! Over here!” 

Finally, their eyes meet across the gorge. It’s not necessary at that point, but Luigi still tears off his own hat and starts flailing it around too overhead, as if just to make absolutely sure his brother knows where he is. “MARIO!” He shouts, his tired face instantly transforming into a relieved, overjoyed smile. 

“Are you okay!?” 

“Y-Yeah! I mean, define “okay,” but I, I'm not hurt or anything like — wait, how did you get here!? We’re way up in the air!”

Mario’s face already hurts from how wide he’s grinning. “Not anymore! And whaddya mean? What do ya think I’ve been doing all this time? Looking for you! You don’t think I could find you wherever you are, even if it’s a million miles in the air? Give your big bro some credit, eh?” 

A laugh bursts out of Luigi, surprised and shaky. Mario has missed that sound so much. “Right, right. I did think…I mean, I hoped, or…” His brother shakes his head, his voice failing him. He lets out a deep breath, so deep that it’s almost like he’s been holding it in ever since they were separated, still smiling like the sun. “I knew you would. Mario, you — look out!” 

Mario turns just as a hammer goes whizzing past his ear, tumbling down into the lava pit. He dodges the next one more capably and then catches the third one that comes his way. In one smooth, lightning-quick motion, he throws it back at the attacking Hammer Bro, nailing him in the face and knocking him out cold.

“Whoa!” He turns back to see Luigi staring with his mouth agape. “When did you learn how to do that?”

“It's kinda a long story!” There will be plenty of time to get into all the details about his adventure when he’s gotten Luigi safely out of an active warzone.  “What about you? I thought you were a prisoner here!” 

“I am! Or I was, I guess! We — me, and the penguins, and Lumalee,” he gestures wearily up overhead, where the blue star-thing is idly playing with a pinwheel that it somehow conjured out of thin air, “and the others — we broke out! We, ah, we’ve been trying to find a way outta here ever since, but this place is a maze and we need some kind of hot air balloon or one of those floating clown-car thingies to even get away in the first place, and—”

“Spinies at four o’clock!” One of the penguins shouts, at the same time that Mario yells “Luigi, on your left!”

Luigi jolts at the sight of the three spiky, spinning shells approaching fast. He jumps high enough to leapfrog right over them all, causing them to ricochet off the wall unexpectedly and careen off the side straight into the deep pit. 

“Nice, Weegie!” Mario cheers. “You always were the better jumper.” 

“Keep your head in the fight, soldier!” One specific penguin calls out to Luigi. He’s wearing a very fancy gold crown — probably their king? “We’re not done here yet!” 

“I know, I know, but look!” Luigi gestures excitedly across the chasm. “My brother’s here! He made it!”

“Good show! If he’s as brave as you said, he can help us beat back these dastardly troops once and for all! We’ll all see the light of day again soon!”

The rest of the penguins cheer, thrusting their flippers victoriously into the air, and then let out a wave of new, guttural battle cries. The Penguin King smiles over at Mario and salutes him before rejoining the fray. There are more of Bowser’s minions crowding the walkways on both sides, Mario realizes with a newfound wave of worry. He needs to get to Luigi now. 

“Stay right there!” He calls, starting to run alongside the railing. “Don’t move! I’m coming!”

“Are you kidding!? Wait!” Luigi starts running too, mirroring Mario. “I can meet you faster this way!” 

Mario laughs. “If you can keep up with me!” 

“You’re on!”

The road ahead of him is pure chaos, filled with attacking enemies and whooping Kongs and weapons flying every which way, but Mario runs. He runs until his heart burns, dodging and weaving, almost tripping here and there because he can’t stop looking over the gap to make sure Luigi’s still there on the other side, stumbling his way through his own gauntlet. The two areas are winding closer together, slowly but surely. They must meet somewhere. He’ll find it. He has to.

“Hey, Luigi!” He yells, breathless and happy. “Remember when we were fixing Mrs. McGrady’s sink a couple weeks ago and talking about the future? Did you imagine it’d be anything like this?” 

“Whaddya think!?” Luigi shouts back jokingly. “I-I mean, I imagined people being mad at us, but those were customers. There was definitely a lot less lava, and magic, and crazy green pipes that send you to places from your literal nightmares!” He laughs, which swiftly turns into a yelp when he has to dodge away from a red Koopa. The next words come out thicker, almost strained. “Mario, you, you’re really here, you — I missed you, I…”

Even with the distance and the distracting noise and the heavy breathing, Mario can hear the familiar tearing in his brother’s voice, and it pushes him to run faster. Luigi is so much braver than many people in their life have given him credit for, but he has a breaking point, and Mario can recognize it like the back of his own hand. Heck, he could use a good cry right about now too. They're so close. Just a little further.

He’s never been the biggest hugger — that title belongs squarely to Luigi, who always holds on a little too long, especially when Mario protests, swinging him up into the air until Mario has to grab him in a headlock and wrestle him down, both of them laughing by then — but he genuinely doesn’t know how he’s ever going to let go of his brother again once he’s within arm’s reach. 

“I missed you too! Every day!” He calls out, and if his voice cracks, well, that’s okay. “Hold on! It’s gotta be just up ahead!” There’s a solid wall coming up where they won’t be able to see each other across the way any longer, but the sharp curve of it looks extremely promising. “I’ll meet you on the other side!” 

“Okay!” 

The wall comes between them. Mario's finally in the clear, having left all the attackers in the dust. His legs and chest hurt, but it doesn’t matter. He's about to get his brother back. He feels invincible, unstoppable.

“I told you, bro!” He can’t hear Luigi at all any longer, but he shouts anyway, hoping the words reach him.  “Even if it didn’t turn out like we thought, it’s all gonna be okay! This is crazy stuff, but as long as we're—” 

Mario turns the corner and skids to a sharp stop. The words die in his throat, turning to ash.

Bowser is in front of him. 

The King of the Koopas nearly fills the entire space wall-to-wall, hulking and monstrous, even bigger than what Mario imagined. He breathes out an angry, deep growl that prickles at Mario’s skin, star-bright embers scattering in the air, the smell of burning getting stronger and stronger. But none of that is what Mario is focusing on. He’s frozen in place at the sight of Luigi, wriggling in one of Bowser’s gripped hands. A thick, scaly finger is coiled tight over his brother’s mouth too, keeping him from making any noise besides a variety of muffled, panicked sounds. 

“Thought you didn’t know him, Greenie,” Bowser says in a low voice to Luigi. “Wasn’t that what you said? Boy, you wouldn’t like what I usually do to liars. It involves fire — a lot of it.” His rows of sharp teeth part, just enough for a big exhale, tinged with molten heat. Luigi cringes, turning his head away as far as he can manage. He’s trembling. “But lucky for you, turns out you’re not entirely useless.”

It takes a moment for Mario to come back into his body, remember how to move and think. But slowly, his hands ball into fists. A voice erupts out of him that barely sounds like his own, grave and angry, angrier than he’s ever been in his life. 

“I’m only gonna say this once, ya overgrown turtle,” he says, shifting his footing into a fighting stance. “Let my brother go now.” 

Bowser looks down at him with a derisive sort of amusement for a long moment before laughing outright. "Give me a break, shortie! You’re even punier in person — 50 of you couldn't stop me. But that hasn’t stopped you from trying, has it? You and your little friends  — your pathetic excuse for an “army,” if that’s what you want to call it. But that all ends now.” 

As if on cue, Mario hears DK and a few other Kongs turn the corner, whooping and hollering, only to pause too at the sight of Bowser. “Let’s get ‘em! He can't take us all at once!” Someone says, and there’s a rush of new movement behind Mario. Bowser turns Luigi in his hand, holding him out a little closer to Mario with a shake of the wrist — a taunt. One of his claws pulls up just a little from the rest, the sharp tip arched and pressed lightly to his brother’s neck. The implication is clear. 

“Stop!” Mario shouts, half-strangled. He must sound serious enough that DK yells “hang on, hang on!” to his brethren, grabbing them with both arms and holding them back from attacking. On Bowser's other side, Mario can see the penguins watching what’s unfolding too with wide eyes. Even all the minions in the area have gone still, weapons lowered, waiting to see what Bowser does before making their next move. The space is suddenly quiet. 

The claw finally relaxes again. Luigi’s eyes are very wide, and there are tears on his face as he stares at Mario. He tries to say something, the sound of it hopelessly muffled against Bowser’s hand — an apology, or a plea, or simply Mario’s name. 

Mario is shaking. He grits his teeth hard, desperately tries to hold himself steady again. He hopes Bowser can’t see it — but there’s a gleam in the King’s eyes, and it couldn’t be any clearer that he does. 

“Do you know how long I worked on this plan?” Bowser says, his tone softer, more thoughtful all of a sudden.  “Orchestrating these invasions, gathering forces far and wide to serve me, taking the almighty power star for myself. I’ve wanted this for years!” His wide mouth curves up, plainly wicked and self-satisfied. “And now here I am, about to rule the world like I deserve, and a couple of useless, pipsqueak plumbers from who-knows-where think they’re just gonna waltz right in and ruin it for me.” Bowser chuckles to himself. It’s a dangerous, sharp-edged sound, echoing on and on. “Ain’t that a laugh, Mario?” 

Mario doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t even know if he’s breathing any longer. All he can do is glare.

Bowser shrugs. The large fingers on his occupied hand flex ever so slightly, a slow, malicious ripple of movement, all the scales glinting in a wave. “You’re less fun than I thought you’d be,” he says gruffly. "What does the princess even see in you? A tiny little killjoy who loves ruining things for others. Guess it’s only fair I ruin something of yours to make us even."

There’s no further warning or fanfare. In one brutal motion, Bowser crushes his grip tighter around Luigi. His brother’s mouth is still covered, but the way he cries out is starkly, unmistakably pained. 

Mario’s vision floods with red. Something inside of him, the patient, careful part that was still desperately clinging to one last scrap of self-control, snaps cleanly in two. He runs at Bowser full-speed, fist cocked back, teeth bared. 

“I said LET HIM GO!” 

He doesn’t make it there. Bowser, grinning outright, moves so much faster than Mario would have ever guessed he could. He spins, and his tail comes out of nowhere. The impact is like an oncoming train, catapulting Mario into the nearby wall with a sickening crack.

There’s a horrible ringing sound in his ears. His head hurts. He hears Bowser laugh, followed by a roar and a burst of fire breath, awful-smelling and close enough to singe. There’s a lot of shouting, and panic, and thunderous footsteps, moving in a hurry. He can’t think any longer. Why can’t he think? All that comes to mind is—

(They’re fifteen, hiding in their bedroom with some smuggled bandages and antibiotics from the medicine cabinet because if their mom finds out Mario punched out a kid behind the school, she will LITERALLY murder him. Luigi wraps each bruised knuckle carefully as Mario winces and complains about the stinging ointment. His brother looks angrier than he’s ever seen him before, though, and that makes him quiet again in a hurry.)

“You want him so bad?” Bowser is much further away, his voice a distant rumble over the flickering flames. Get up, Mario tells himself. He’s gasping, struggling to push himself back up with useless, trembling hands. His legs feel numb. Get up! “Then come and get ‘em already!”

(“You never stop and THINK first, y’know?” Luigi shakes his head, badly trying to hide the tears budding under his eyes. “And now you’re hurt, and it’s all my fault, and — and I don’t need you to do stuff like that for me! I can handle it, e-even if you think I can’t!”) 

“Mario!” That’s Luigi, terrified and wheezing, finally able to talk again. An intentional decision by Bowser, no doubt, just to be cruel. Mario can barely hear his brother at all, and the sound of his voice keeps growing fainter. “No! Let go! MARIO!” 

(“What are you even saying? That’s not why I did it at all!” Mario insists, using his uninjured hand to flick Luigi’s nose with a few fingers. His affronted expression at that makes Mario laugh, and the motion quickly turns into them trying to be the first one to swat each other in the face without getting blocked. At least the tears are forgotten, which is what he wanted from the start. “Don’t ya get it? I know you can take care of yourself. But if anyone wants to hurt you, they’re gonna have to go through me first. I’M the big bro, and that’s just how it is forever.”) 

Luigi! 

He’s standing again, even as his body protests every pull and push of the way, even as he’s still struggling to open his eyes. Someone strong and furry offers some extra support on his right side. 

“You okay, man?” Donkey Kong asks. “Geez, that looked like it hurt. Hey, anyone have an extra mushroom?” 

Stars are flashing across his vision, but finally they fade away. There’s a line of fire in front of them like a makeshift barrier, slowly but steadily dying out. Sure enough, Bowser and Luigi are gone. Mario’s heart lurches hard against his ribs.

“Setting a devious trap for sure,” The Penguin King grouses from further away. “Using one’s own flesh and blood! Does that dastardly Koopa’s depravity know no limits?” 

“I’m fine. Never better,” Mario groans. He points past the fire. “He went that way, right?” 

DK blinks, looking a little uneasy. “Uh, yeah, but we should probably regroup first and — hey! Wait a second, you idiot!”

Mario’s already charged full-speed ahead, jumping over the flames. Others yell after him too, saying it's too dangerous, but he’s running anyway, chasing the smell of molten heat, the faint, far-off echoes of yelling that feel like pinpricks in his lungs. 

He knows it’s a trap. He knows. He just doesn’t care.

He already let Luigi literally slip through his hands once before. Heck, he isn’t sure if he’ll ever be able to forgive himself for that alone. No matter where he has to go, who he has to fight, how much abuse he has to take, he's getting Luigi back right now, and he's gonna pound that overgrown bully's face until he regrets every life decision that led to him daring to hurt Mario's little brother.

It can't be too late. He can't have screwed this up again. He'll do anything. Even if...

The feeling of something on his cap startles him out of the thought — the softest boop-boop-boop, like someone very small is bouncing on it. He assumes he’s just imagining things until the blue star-thing (Lumalee?) floats down further, easily keeping up with his top speed, humming what sounds like a lullaby. Mario gawks in its direction. 

“The biggest sacrifices are often the ones that burn the brightest, out in space,” it says, bright and sing-song. “Did you know that?”

“What are you even talking about!?” Mario yells. “Sorry, but I’m a little busy here!” 

It’s unbothered by that, twirling close enough to give his mustache a little, playful poke. “Not existing any longer is natural, inevitable. We all go into the light someday.” The way it’s staring at Mario is unnerving, as though this little, creepy star knows exactly what he was just thinking about. “You look scared of that. Are you?” 

Mario swallows thickly. 

“No,” he says. “If that’s the only way, then…” His eyes are burning at the edges, just a little. “If the people I love are safe, then it doesn’t matter what happens to me.”

Lumalee smiles a dreamy, thoughtful smile.

“Oh,” it sighs, little more than a breath. “This is going to be so much fun.” 

And then it floats away. 

Mario doesn’t have time to stop and wonder what that was all about. He throws himself deeper and deeper into the airship, even when a heavy metal gate slams down behind him to separate him from the others, even when the slabs of rock under his feet sink down into the lava from the weight and don’t resurface, erasing any way out. Mario thinks of his training, of Princess Peach and Toad cheering him on, of the exhilaration and hope he felt looking out over the Rainbow Road, of Luigi smiling in the warp zone right before they were ripped apart. He steels himself for what’s coming next.

Further ahead, he hears his brother call out for him.

Mario runs.

[turtlemagnum]

god, i suck at mario 2. i'm disparaging my legacy.... seriously, how the fuck have i beaten the lost levels without save states but can't get past 1-3 in american mario 2???? why am i not instantly good at a game i've never really played, god!!!! my mother would be disappointed in me

post writing the tags turtle here: i started rambling about my childhood made the tags longer than the actual post and don't feel like putting them onto the actual post because that'd be too much work and i'm feeling lazy. read em if you want personal bullshit! or don't. i'm not care

[kikuism]

dnf'd the pairing 😍

[inkprovised]

Have a Luigi and Bowser idea that lives in my head rent-free...

I wrote it down quickly and half asleep. I hope you can read it.

Find more Little Turtle here!

Little Turtle

At the age of 11, Luigi started losing his eyesight and became blind within one year.

Luigi is 24 now and lives with his twin brother Mario.

On his way home from university, Luigi reached their backyard and stopped in his tracks as he heard Mario... 'cursing'?

"Mario, are you alright?!" the younger twin shouted, ready to open the gate, as he stopped.

"Lu, you're home already? Wait, wait, wait, don't come in! There is a huge animal somewhere!" Mario sounded nervous.

Luigi paused. "A huge animal?"

"Y-yeah! Maybe you'd better take another walk until I get everything under control!"

That was weird, Luigi thought, but okay. He could come back later... at that, he closed the fence, ready to head anywhere else but stopped in his tracks, when he felt a warm breeze at the back of his head and neck...

Luigi's hands shook ever so slightly. This was no breeze. Someone or something stood behind him, breathing in his neck.

"H-hey." the young man started. "A-Are you the one m-my brother is talking about?" He turned around, slowly, his knees shaking like jelly.

"Do you mind if I take a look of you? ...I mean not look - look, I obviously can't see you, but I mean -" he held up his hands. "I can 'look' at you with my hands... if that's alright with you, that is..."

A short silence, then a snuffle can be heard, and for Luigi, it feels like permission. The young man smiled and reached out.

Something warm and soft brushed against his fingertips, and he gasped.

"Ah. There you are."

('How to train you Koopa King' lol)

Mario was searching for anything he could use as a weapon... how could this be?!

He was cleaning the living room - what he hated, but was forced to do since he lived with his blind brother.

The last time Mario decided to clean the floor 'later' , Luigi almost broke his arm.

Inside their home, Lu was swift on his feet. He knew where everything was, knew how many steps between every single piece of furniture were. And that day, he walked fast as always and fell hard over a box Mario left there on the floor. Thank the stars nothing worse happened, but Lu was forced to wear a cast for weeks nonetheless.

While cleaning, Mario took a look out of the window, and there he saw it.

A giant... Teenage... Mutant... Ninja... Turtle... thingy in the middle of their small piece of lawn. Mario freaked out and ran into the kitchen - looking for a knife or anything else he could use, while having his cellphone tugged between ear and shoulder.

The line beeping...

Mario cursed.

Then... did he just hear Luigis' voice?!! From the backyard???!!!

He had to get him away from there! So he yells at him to take another walk.

The line is still beeping....

Mario grabbed the knife and ran back into the living room. Taking another look at the garden, he panicked when he saw his baby-bro in the claws of this THING! Fighting for... his life? .... squishing the face of this... creature... thing...

Mario burst out of the door, screaming in horror.

"LU!!! NO!!!!!"

Luigi carefully touched the face in front of him. It was not human, that he could say at first touch. It was huge. Soft. He couldn't stop himself, and he squished the huge muzzle. The creature didn't flinch. Then he heard his brother behind him, screaming in horror.

"It's fine, Mario! He's nice. And I'm almost done here! Luigi stroked over the big creatures nose and felt something... smoll and even softer than the rest of the face... A scar?

"Ah!" Luigis face lit up. Could it be? After all these years... how! Why?

"Is that YOU, my little Turtle?!"

"'Little Turtle'?" Mario asked, dumbfounded.

And the line was still beeping...

Luigi turned the direction he thought Mario to be. He beamed.

"I told you about him! Don't you remember? Back when I fell down the street drain!"

-----

Luigi was 12 and just lost his eyesight completely. He had a very hard time and ran from home after an argument with his parents. Of course, he got lost immediately. The rain was pouring, and he fell down a barely secured street drain.

Down there, he crouched against the wall, trying to ignore the pain in his head from his fall, crying his eyes out. The other moment, Luigi heard another sound... whining?

The boy held his breath, trying to listen over the loud splashing water. Again.

"Hello?" Luigi crawled in the direction of the sound. "Do you need help? Are you lost too?" The next thing he felt was something hard. A... shell? A Turtle? "Are you hurt?" Luigi pet it carefully, searching for anything that might feel like injuries. He felt the animal shiver and whine under his fingers. "Don't worry, my little Turtle. I'll take care of you." There was a deep scratch close to the 'nose' and an open wound on its leg. The boy took off his scarf and tied it around the wound, then he took the animal on his lap. Under his hand, he felt... horns? And... hair??? Also, the little 'Turtle' was bigger than expected... odd.

Luigi talked to the little creature for hours, rocking them both until they fell asleep.

Hours later, Luigi was found by some workers. He must have slept for some time now, and when he woke, the turtle was gone...

-----

"I told you about him back then!" Luigi explained.

Mario looked at him in disbelief. "Mum and Dad always said you hit your head down there! Or you were too old for an imaginary friend... HOW do you know it's him?"

At that, Luigi went silent. "I just know it..." Then the younger twin felt something tug his hand...

Mario gasped loudly. The giant 'turtle' opened Luigi's hand and laid something inside.

Luigi felt some sort of cloth.

"Lu!" Mario shouted, excited. "That's it! That's the scarf you lost back then!"

Someone picked up the phone...

"Animal Control. What can I do for you?"

[stevie-petey]

now you're a stranger (and i'm still july)

﹂ season three of "come home"

a lot can change in a year, and when summer comes to hawkins, you think you're finally okay with this idea. you've settled things with jonathan, nancy is now your friend, and steve harrington calls you angel. then dustin intercepts a secret russian code and your grand plans of you and robin teasing steve all summer, and maybe even falling in love, all come crashing down. (meanwhile all steve wants to do is ask you out). (but the russians complicate things). (as usual).

episode one: suzie, do you copy? - you help nancy sneak through jonathans window, the party uses you for your "in" with steve, and you sorta become the reason dustin almost blinds lucas. meanwhile, steve tries, and fails, to make you his girlfriend (this will happen all summer), but have no fear ! dustin intercepts a russian code and makes everything even harder for everyone. what a sweet brother <3

episode two: the mall rats - dreams are weird, billy is a hitchhiker, and hopper flirts with joyce in front of you (youre not sure which is scarier), somehow robin knows russian and has genius ears, you get caught in an awkward breakup showdown, and you shamefully are shocked when you discover that hawkins is anything but normal. you would think youd be a pro at this already, but at least steve is hot and really good at sneaking through windows.

episode three: the case of the missing lifeguard - dustin blackmails you for $5 and then dubs steve as boyfriend material for you, robin cracks yet another russian code, you all almost waterboard yourselves after sneaking onto the mall's roof, you have a sexy nervous breakdown, and jonathan takes you for a drive in his sick car.

episode four: the sauna test - dustin has some brotherly concern for you (dont tell anyone though), steve is offended you dont think he can fight, nancy gets upset during therapy hour, robin encourages child endangerment, erica becomes your hero, and you lose your lunch on hawkins makeshift tower of terror (aka sketchy russian elevators).

episode five: the flayed - you have the worst birthday of your life, you almost strangle steve with your bare hands and then later get snot all over him, erica is your savior, dustin is doing his best, robin starts to suspect things, and the russians have opened a gate to the upside down. its all pretty miserable tbh. but hey ! at least steve won a fight !

episode six: e pluribus unum - things get hot and heavy in the face of death, mean russians kidnap your hot almost-boyfriend, you have a philosophical discussion about nerdiness with the kids, acid becomes your new favorite weapon, and steve and robin try drugs together. yippee !

episode seven: the bite - steve and robin are your nightmare blunt rotation, you manage to escape a russian lair: mario cart style, you learn that therapy sessions are fun in public bathrooms, steve places your brother on the russian fbi most wanted list, el probably just killed a bunch of people (deserved), and reunions with jonathan are always special when one of you is gravely injured.

episode eight: the battle of starcourt - jonathan becomes a certified surgeon, hopper returns and is oddly sentimental (wonder what that could mean !), you and dustin show off your musical theater talents, the mind flayer becomes a track star, fireworks become weapons, and really a lot just happens so suddenly it gives you whiplash. dont worry though, the rest of your summer involves painful goodbyes and the scary realization that youre growing up. absolutely disgusting. but at least steve gets to kiss you whenever now, so hooray for that ! side note: you keep making promises to people, surely there wont be narrative foreshadowing as a result !

⌑ set between seasons 3 and 4

episode nine: the good - the party battles the horrors of high school and leave you stranded, tw: applying for college is harder than fighting literal demons (you would know, youve done it), jonathan joins your nightmare blunt rotation, max worries you, and steve solidifies his position of Best Boyfriend in the World as you slowly fall apart (though is anyone really surprised ??).

⌑ status: FINISHED

⌑ season three title based on this song x

⌑ blurbs set within "come home" can be found here x

⌑ “come home” season masterlist

*note: this is a part of my stranger things rewrite, “come home”, and other seasons can be found linked above :)

[fairyhaos]

how seventeen react to their s/o being a passionate gamer

requested by @boybigirlhi ! "gamer" is a broad term but really, this is focused more on mario kart than anything else 😭

masterlist

seungcheol, seungkwan

this game is NOT a joke and you need to GET YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT and not just go YELLING like a banshee, okay???? berates you for yelling too loud bc you're messing with his concentration. if you're playing against each other then it definitely works in your favour but if you're on the same side then he'll physically try and hold you down even whilst holding the controller bc he needs you to Sit Still goddamnit otherwise you're gonna lose the game!!!!! still loves that you're really passionate about it tho. discusses strategy with u pre-game and then despairs at how all the strategy goes out the window at the end

jeonghan, joshua, junhui, vernon

just. just thinks that it's really fucking cute tbh :3 watching you bounce about all happily and trash talking the other players with the biggest smile on your face makes him grin so hard because there's something so adorable about your competitive happiness. let's you do whatever you want and will just quirk an eyebrow and smile as you jokingly boo him for how badly he's losing to you rn. and even when you're all riled up and yelling competitively like a maniac he can't help but laugh because sue him, he really is just so in love with everything about you

hoshi, woozi, mingyu

“nonono don't apologise, stay snapped, STAY SNAPPED PLS WE NEED THIS��. he's always unnecessarily invested when playing mario kart, especially when you're playing as a pair against the other members. he would absolutely appreciate you getting all riled up. encourages it, in fact, and will even intentionally goad the other players if it means that he can get you to snap and go all out on them. originally was really surprised by how you'd suddenly just snap and start playing rlly aggressively in mario kart before quickly realising that was a Bonus if you were playing together and did his best to tell you to stay!!!! fucking!!!!! snapped!!!!! 

wonwoo, minghao, dokyeom, chan

honestly, he gets it, this is the essence of the game. ofc you're gonna be screaming like a maniac. that's what mario kart makes people do, yk?? he literally does not mind at all and just lets you do whatever you want, which leads to the two of you having some of the loudest games known to mankind. wonwoo and minghao just laugh and don't bat an eye. chan doesn't even register your screams. and dokyeom is definitely full-on screaming along with you. hey, it's a fun game, and also definitely a great stress reliever! even if you're both so competitive that every game ends on an argument over whether the winner really did win fair and square,,,, 

request guidelines

reactions tags: @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @wonranghaeee @yonabutnotyuna @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @odxrilove @kyeomyun @chansburgah @pepperonijem @jeonride @kellesvt @kikohao @astrozuya @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @starshuas @all-american-fangirl @f1uffyjun @sea-moon-star @nonononranghaee @isabellah29 @mcu-incorrect @hrts4hanniehae @suraandsugar @pan-de-seungcheol @dokyeomkyeom @melodicrabbit @bananabubble

[olsenmyolsen]

You Got A Star!

master list

dark master list

No Powers AU (Female Reader X Yelena Belova)

Summary: You and your roommate, Yelena Belova, invite some friends over for Mario Party; however, Yelena has no idea about your feelings for her.

Word Count: 4K

Content: Feelings, Crushes, Mario Party, Friendship, Comfort/Hurt

Your roommate, Yelena Belova, was one of a kind.

Truly, you had never meant anyone like her. From the way she talked to how she made babies cry with one look. Or how the one thing she knew how to cook was Mac and Cheese.

You knew there would never be anyone else like her.

Which is maybe why you started to feel different around here... what began as two strangers needing a place to live slowly morphed into something else.

At least for you.

Yelena's asexual identification didn't make it impossible for her to find someone she could share a life with. It was just that you had never seen her with anyone since knowing her. So, IF Yelena were attracted to you, you would have no idea.

Regardless, your tiny crush was making itself known tonight as you waited for a few friends to come over. It was Saturday night, and after a shit week at work, you, Yelena, and your friends decided to have an impromptu game night.

"So what is it?" Yelena asked you again as you set an assortment of snacks on the hardwood coffee table. "It's called Mario Party. Each person chooses a character, and then you hit dice, play minigames, get coins, and you have to purchase stars." You looked up from the candies and savory snacks to a confused-looking blonde. "Whoever has the most wins." You said.

"Is it easy?" She asked after staring at you. You shrugged. "It can be a little challenging sometimes." Yelena hummed. "So it's not like that animal island game?" She asked with her eyes precious and wide.

A fluttering was happening in your stomach.

You cleared your throat with a smile. "No, Lena, it's not like Animal Crossing." Yelena pouted. She loved Animal Crossing no matter how much she hated Tom Crook, as she called him. Yelena opened her mouth to ask if the two of you could practice a round of this Mario Party, but a knock on the apartment door followed by its slowly opening stopped her.

"I got pizza!" Kate Bishop yelled as she entered through the small hallway. You walked past Yelena after your eyes fell to her lips without noticing. She was too busy looking at the game icon on the switch home screen. "You didn't bring Lucky?" You asked as you took the pizza boxes from your childhood friend.

Kate shook her head. "Figured it might get hectic." You nodded to her reasoning. Kate had followed you into the kitchen as you set the pizzas down. Pulling out some plates and dipping sauces.

Ranch and hot sauce for you and Yelena.

You turned around to find your friend eyeing Yelena. You looked between the two and raised an eyebrow to yourself.

"So..." You started pulling Kate's attention to you. You could see Yelena grab her special Joy-Con from the corner of your eye.

It was just the plain blue one, but she loved it.

Yelena clicked on the game as she pulled up a Let's Play on her phone of the game. You hide a laugh.

"How's your mom and her new man." Kate rolled her eyes. "He's so annoying, and he's doing things where he wants us to be like a family. It's just weird..." She shook her body as if she had a cold chill. "Plus, he has one of those old man smiles that could be threatening when all he's doing is asking for ice cream." Her voice was unhappy. She did not like this Jack guy at all.

"Y/n!" Yelena called out from the couch, making you and Kate leave the kitchen. "Yes?" You smiled and kept your voice level as you approached Yelena's side. Standing as she sat.

Yelena lifted her eyes to you before doing a double take at Kate. "Kate Bishop!? When did you get here?" Kate smiled awkwardly before licking her lips and speaking. "About five minutes ago." Yelena tilted her head. "Hmm. I did not know. You're sometimes too quiet." Kate did what she did best and chuckled lightly with a nervous laugh. "Yeah, like a mouse."

Yelena nodded before looking back at you and her phone. "Who is this?" She pointed to a Mario Party character on her tiny screen. "Oh, that's Wario." You replied. Yelena looked at you with all the seriousness in her voice. "Can I play as them?"

You nodded. "If you want."

"I want to." With one look into her eyes, you would go through hell to make sure she played as that little idiot.

"Okay, then you will." You smiled, and her face morphed into pure happiness. Like a puppy in the sun. "He reminds me of that fat short guy from that one show with the horrible people." She said as her attention moved back to the phone. You thought for a few seconds. "Are you talking about Danny Devito?!" Yelena smiled wide and bright. "Yeah, from the Sunny show!"

You couldn't help but laugh.

"That's a great character, Yelena!" Kate spoke up from behind you before not so subtly moving past you to sit next to Yelena on the couch. Her gaze was on Yelena's phone as well.

Were her cheeks pink?

"That character is like best friends with my character," Kate said, raising Yelena's eyebrows. "Really?!" You couldn't recall a time when Kate played as Walugi, but her favorite color was purple, so it probably happened at some point, and you just didn't remember.

Seconds later, a knock came to the door before YOU could explain how different Wario's dice block was from the other characters.

"Wanda! Pietro! Nice of you to join!" The twins were too busy bickering with one another to return your niceties. But Wanda did make sure to place the wine bottle in your arms.

"Y/n, did we have to knock, or could we have just let ourselves in?!" Pietro turned and looked at you with intensity. Wanda was doing the same. "Uhhh..." You looked between the siblings. "You could have just come in." You said with caution. "See!" Pietro threw his arms up while Wanda rolled her eyes. "But that's not how Mama raised us!" Wanda yelled as the two of them stormed into the kitchen.

Pietro had his nose leading him to the pizza. Wanda followed to grab glasses for the wine.

"But it's like the sitcoms you love so much. We're the friends that can come right into the apartment and join the shenanigans!"

Wanda groaned because her brother was right, and she hated it.

"Shut up!" Wanda replied before joining you in the living room, taking the wine from your hand. "Sorry. I need this NOW."

Wanda would be two and a half glasses in by the end of the night. All because of her lovely, annoying brother.

"Hey, Wanda! Hi Pietro!" Kate waved to the twins, who sent smiles and waves back. Yelena looked up and to them and gave them a nod. "Okay, so now if you land on a red monster face, you get in trouble?" Yelena asked Kate. Kate nodded and briefly explained who Boswer was.

Your eyes caught Yelena's briefly when she glanced your way. You could've sworn you saw her lip twitch upwards before she looked back to Kate.

"Here, Kate, it'll be easier to explain some of the mini-games once we're actually in the game." Kate looked up to you and your regent words sheepishly. She nodded after fumbling with her words. "Okay."

A moment later, when Kate left to grab the three of you slices of pizza, you took her spot next to Yelena. "I'll help you out if you need it." You said, which Yelena appreciated greatly but shook her head. "I shall win this game on my own!"

Your lips curled upwards with a laugh. "Oh, is that right, Lena!?" Yelena smirked and took a big sip of the wine Wanda dropped off. "Prepare to lose Y/n Y/l/n."

You took a sip of your wine as well. "We'll see Lena. We'll see."

About fifteen minutes later, You, Yelena, Kate, and Wanda were ready to start the night's first game. The disappointed look of Kate having to sit in her own chair was missed by you.

"How come there's five of us for a four-person game!" Pietro whined as you let Wanda select the level. "I asked Sam to come by, but he's busy with his test and all that." You said while waving your hand. Your friend Sam Wilson was training to become a pilot. Pietro huffed. "Fine."

"Also you fairly lost at rock papart scissors so sorry dude." You added on like rubbing salt in the wound. Wanda turned around and stuck her tongue out to her brother. Pietro angrily bit into his third slice of pizza and flipped her off.

The game was underway, and the order was set. Kate went first, followed by you and then Wanda. Yelena rolled a 3 and had to go last.

"Hey, that might be good; you can make your moves based on where other people are. Not where they might be." You said, cheering Yelena up slightly.

Kate and Wanda dominated the first few turns and minigames as you and Yelena struggled to move more than 4 per turn. You knew it was bad luck, but Yelena was about one more 1 v 3 mini-game from switching her joy-con until Kate got the first star.

"Who is that again?" Yelena asked as Toad started moving to a new spot on the map. "Toad. He's like a mushroom guy." Kate answered before you could. "Fuck! It's farther from me!" Wanda exclaimed as you turned towards the TV. Your eyes moving away from Yelena's side profile.

Toad landed seven spots in front of Yelena.

She could make it to him but she didn't have enough coins.

Luckily, when it was Yelena's turn, she rolled a five and landed on a blue space. Yet she was still short in terms of payment.

"Oh great, it's this one!" Wanda groaned. "Y/n's the be-" "Who wants to practice!?" You cut Wanda off and gave her a quiet glare; the other two people playing didn't seem to notice.

When everyone loaded into the practice mode, Wanda just gave you a confused look before forgetting about it.

Surprisingly, Yelena was just as good as you at rapidly clicking the button to send the little shy guy flying. But still, you won the practice mode. "Oh, come on, Y/n!" Yelena whined. "How did you do that?"

"What happened to winning the game on your own?" You said with your teasing voice dripping. Yelena loved that attitude and smirked. "Okay, Y/l/n, watch this." You turned towards the TV just before the mini-game started properly.

But not before you saw Kate's eyes on your blonde roommate.

"Come on!" Wanda yelled as her fingers smashed the button repeatedly. Kate groaned and held her breath as she did the same. You kept your technique unchanged, and Yelena did her best to copy you.

However, you knew from the practice round and every other game prior that you could do this with one with your eyes closed. But you had a crush on the blonde sitting next to you who cursed at her little yellow piece of shit character. Her words. So, without anyone realizing it, you stop mashing your button a few seconds before the timer ran out.

"Fuck that hurts!" Kate waved her hand around as the four shuguys began to take off.

Wanda's was the first to hit the ground. A laugh from her brother earned him a slap on the arm. Kate's followed the same destiny not long after, and to everyone's surprise, yours was the next to fail.

Wanda turned to you, shocked, but once Yelena realized she had won, Wanda put the pieces together and joined in the celebration of your defeat.

You were more than fine with it. Because now Yelena had enough coins to get her first-ever star.

She would never know it was really because of you.

"I'm taking a picture of this moment," Pietro said, making everyone laugh as Yelena hit the button to accept the Star from Toad.

"You Got A Star!" The game applauded! "I did it!" Yelena cheered and clapped to herself before you wrapped an arm around her and smiled at Pietro's dad's pose with the camera.

You thought Pietro had taken the picture when you shifted your face to take in Yelena's happiness.

Except, that was the picture that was taken.

Wanda made sure to show the one that followed where it looked like you were looking at the corner of the room.

After that, Yelena's luck turned for the better. She was on a roll. A few turns later, she earned another shiny star from a hidden block that left Kate flummoxed. "All I ever get is coins from those! Are you serious?!" Yelena laughed loudly at Kate.

Yelens then landed on Toad's space again after using a triple dice, and not even the prediction that you would win the game could stop Yelena.

Which left you, Kate, and Wanda struggling to do as much damage as possible to each other in the final turns of the first game.

"Yes!" Kate cheered when she got the last star next, making her and Yelena tied going into the Bonus Stars.

"Well, this sucks." Wanda sighed as she fell back against the couch. "There's no way I'm going to catch up!"

"What's happening?" Yelena asked no one in particular, but you still spoke up. "Bonus Stars. So once the game ends, it will still award additional stars to people. It makes it more exciting. Usually, it's like whoever landed on the most green spaces or landed on Bowser the most. Stuff like that." You explained, and you smiled when the blonde shifted her face to look at you.

However, your smile faltered a bit when you saw her eyes and the pout she wore. "So I might not win?"

"You can still win." You said with your voice soft. Yelena looked over your face as the moment became more intimate.

At least to you. You felt Wanda's gaze on you but moved your eyes to the TV.

"Yelena, look!" Kate pulled Yelena's attention away as the bonus star for the most distance traveled was being awarded.

It went to Wario.

And so did the next Bonus Star, which left Yelena jumping off the couch and into your arms when you stood up. "You did it!" You exclaimed loudly.

"I won the Mario Party!"

Your eyes shined as you looked at the way Yelena, how she couldn't control her excitement. It reminded you of the time you had won $200 on a lottery ticket, and you and Yelena went shopping. She bought a fur coat and wears it every time it hits below 45 degrees. (Fahrenheit)

You would always wanted her to be happy.

With the first round of Mario Party over, Wanda switched out with Pietro, and you did your best not to get competitive over the next game on the map in space. Yelena tried her hardest but found herself struggling. Pietro was just as fast in the game as he was in real life. Zooming from star to star, leaving you and Kate reeling.

"Y/l/n third place again!" Yelena teased as she landed herself in a solid second place behind Pietro. You went to jokingly retaliate, but Kate stole Yelena's attention and challenged her to a different Mario game.

Mario Kart.

Yelena's eyes went wide with fear before you slowly watched how they shifted.

Determined Yelena would be.

However, that would have to wait for another night as you looked at your phone, seeing how late it had gotten. Everyone agreed and helped you and the blonde clean up.

Pietro helped by eating two more slices.

"Oh hey, Y/n, before I leave, do you still have that red jacket? I wanted to borrow it for a party Lorna is throwing next week. It would fit the theme." Wanda said, shrugging her arms. You nodded and let her follow you to your bedroom.

"Here." You said, pulling the jacket off the hanger and holding your arm back. "Oh, thanks!" Wanda said as she grabbed it, and you turned around. Your eyes immediately noticed how your door had been shut.

"Wanda?" Sure, the two of you kissed when the clock struck midnight on New Year two years ago, but Wanda didn't have feelings. Did she? "Okay, spill!" Wanda said as she was closer than before—her voice above a whisper.

"Spill?"

"You and Yelena! What's going on there?" Ah! "Did you need this?" You said, picking up the arm of the jacket. Wanda shook her head. "I saw how you were looking at her! I take it she doesn't know?" You sighed. If there was anyone, you could count on sharing your newfound crush with, it was Wanda. "No, she doesn't know." You sighed again as you sat on your bed.

"Are you gonna tell her? Tonight?" Wanda asked, joining you by your side with her arms clutching the jacket. "I don't know... I want to... But."

"But it's Yelena." You nodded to Wanda's words. "I would also just hate to ruin our friendship." Wanda could understand. "Well, sometimes the biggest risks have the best rewards." You hated her cat poster-like words of wisdom, but she wasn't necessarily wrong. "Plus." You lifted your head to Wanda's green eyes before she continued. "At the end of the day, it's Yelena. Even if she didn't reciprocate those feelings with you, you know she wouldn't want anything to change between the two of you. You're best friends. She'll always be in your life. I'm sure it might be hard if she doesn't like you like you. But-"

"But I'd want her around." You finished Wanda's sentence. Wanda nodded, put her arm around you before her hand moved, and rubbed your back. "You're a big girl. You got this."

"You had to ruin it."

Wanda laughed loudly and let you rise from the bed. Before you helped her up. You definitely needed a new box spring.

Opening the door to your bedroom, your eyes caught Yelena's as she exited a hug from Kate. Her eyes quickly moved away from you and Wanda as she confirmed her plans to practice Mario Kart for the next game night, whenever that would be.

"Got the jacket. Let's go!" Wanda yelled to her brother, who was helping out and putting the leftover pizza in foil for you. Oh, no, wait. He was grabbing some to go.

Kate noticed where your eyesight had gone and laughed at Pietro's actions before giving you a tight hug. "Tonight was so much fun, thank you!" You hugged your childhood friend just as tight. "Thanks for coming."

Kate then moved to Yelena and was awkward as she accidentally punched Yelena in the boob as she lifted her arm to hug the blonde. Again. Yelena laughed loudly as Kate blushed before they hugged. Kate left with a cloud of smoke after that.

"Bye, Y/n. Bye, Yelena!" Pietro said his goodbye first with a quick wave to you and a side hug to Yelena. Wanda turned around and hugged you before turning and doing the same to the blonde. You smiled as you walked closer to the door at the end of the apartment hallway. "Bye, guys!" You waved as you shut the door to Wanda, mouthing, "Talk to her."

With a click, the door was locked, and it was just you and Yelena. "That was a good time, Y/n!" Your cheeks wore a light pink as you moved away from the door. Following Yelena in the living room area. "I'm glad you had fun, Lena."

Yelena moved to the couch and grabbed the remote as you entered the kitchen to grab some water. Your mind racing with a way to bring up you're feelings. "I'm not tired yet. Do you want to watch a movie?" Yelena called out from the living room. "Uh, sure! Just pick whatever!" You called out with your voice jumping from your nerves.

You took longer than one would need to fill out their water bottle. Thankfully, Yelena didn't seem to notice as she swiped through hundreds of different options.

She was trying to find something specifically tailored to you.

"You like this one, no?" Yelena asked as you finally sat down. The movie was Legally Blonde, and Yelena knew you loved it, so why was she questioning it? One look and you could see her mind had been racing too.

And for some reason, that calmed your nerves just a bit. What if she felt the same way you did?

You hid a smile and scooted closer to Yelena, who tensed up slightly before pulling you in and dropping an arm around you. "Should I have made popcorn?" You asked. Yelena shook her head. "Still full."

You were, too.

As Elle Woods began to wake up on the screen, you bit your lip. Would during or after the movie be an appropriate time to talk to Yelena?

"Y/n?" Yelena's voice broke you from your thoughts as you lifted your eyes to her. Yelena was chewing on her lip. "Yeah?"

"I have something to say, and I don't know how you're going to take it." Your heart started beating faster than you ever thought possible. "Okay." You said as the movie fell into a black hole behind you. Your body lifts off Yelena to give her your entire attention.

Could this be it?

Yelena sighed before her eyes fell on you. They were gentle. "Tonight, I discovered something... and I'm unsure how to move forward."

You knew the feeling.

"Okay..." Yelena moved her leg below her and turned more towards you. "I... I-" You had never seen Yelena so nervous and flustered. Not even when she booked a trip to Paris, Texas, and not Paris, France. "Yelena." You reached for her hand and took it. "Whatever it is. I'm here for you. I can help."

Yelena knew this, yet she was anxious. "I think I might have a crush on-" "Oh wow! Okay! Tha-"

"On Kate," Yelena said with the words flying out of her. She needed to get this off her chest. She needed you to know. She didn't like this feeling inside of her as she was keeping this to herself. Plus, Kate Bishop was your childhood best friend. Yelena didn't want to make that uncomfortable for you.

"Now! I know this might be weird! But I-" Yelena stopped and quickly gathered her words—enough time for you to process what just happened and to hear your heart become shattered glass.

"There is just something about her. I'm drawn in. She's clumsy but beautiful. Funny!" Yelena laughed to herself as a fake smile finally appeared on your face. "But!" Yelena gripped your hand, and you still felt butterflies in your stomach due to the touch of her soft fingers. "If you have a problem with this or feel uncomfortable, let me know!"

Yelena was dead serious. If you told her that it would make things... unbearable she wouldn't pursue any bit of this with Kate. But you couldn't do that to her. You wouldn't put her own happiness in jeopardy. "It's okay." You said with a smile—another fake one.

You had to fake it now. You could cry later.

"Are you sure?" You nodded. "Absolutely!" You said. Yelena nodded a tad. "It's just she's your childhood friend, and I'm your best friend-"

"Yeah. You're my best friend, Yelena, so of course I want you to be happy."

You said with an enthusiasm you didn't know you could muster. But it finally convinced Yelena, who pulled you in for a hug. "Oh, thank you, Y/n Y/l/n!" She said into your neck. You closed your eyes and let the moment happen. "I love you, Y/n!" Yelena said with a loud cheeriness in her voice.

"I love you too, Yelena!" You whispered back.

By the time the next game night rolled around, Yelena and Kate were dating.

You hated Mario Kart after that.

dividers by @/benkeibear

[wileys-russo]

childhood sweethearts (7) II a.russo x reader

series playlist part one part two part three part four part five part six

another flashback, and some fluffy little firsts for our star crossed lovers childhood sweethearts (7) II a.russo x reader

eleven years old; the (sort of) first kiss

"did you see charlie and lily today at lunch?" you asked your best friend scrunching your nose in disgust, her head resting beside yours as the two of you lay on her bed, currently overcoming food comas after gorging yourselves on movie snacks all night.

"they looked like they were trying to eat others faces." alessia agreed before making a weird noise and attacking you, pretending to be some sort of monster as you shoved her off you with a grin.

"is that how you're supposed to kiss someone?" you asked curiously, the two of you looking up at her ceiling as the girl beside you shrugged. "i've never kissed anyone, how would i know?" alessia sighed, a brief pause of silence falling between the two of you.

"have you?" "what? kissed someone?" "yeah."

"lessi do you think maybe i'd have told you if i kissed someone, idiot." you laughed, shoving her head to the side as she rolled her eyes and sat up. "everyone makes a big deal out of it. seems gross!" you pulled a face, not loving the idea of swapping spit with anyone.

"super gross. charlie looked like he was trying to do laundry in lilys mouth." alessia joked as you gave her a look of confusion. "you know, cause his tongue was like a washing machine-" she sat up and demonstrated, aggressively swirling her tongue around and licking the air like a dog making you let out a loud pelt of laughter.

"rory said the other day apparently people practice on their hands." you remembered the words of another one of yours and alessia's mutual school friends. "their hands?" alessia frowned deeply and you nodded.

"yeah they do this-" you made a fist. "-and then they like pretend this bits the mouth-" you pointed to the small hole on the side of your hand where your fingers didn't quite meet. "-and then they practice kissing with it." you shrugged.

"have you been doing that?" alessia grinned as your face blushed bright red, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. "no!" you pushed her over so she fell onto her back beside you again. "rory just showed me." you rolled your eyes as alessia hummed, still grinning.

"i haven't!" you protested, smacking her shoulder and now being the one to sit up. "you're the worst." you grumbled, flicking her ear as she whined and swatted your hand away. "then why are you with me all the time." alessia mocked.

"don't have any better options yet, i'm on the market for a new best friend." you shrugged, now the one to grin as the girl let out an offended scoff and launched at you, the two of you rolling around wrestling.

"girls!" you both paused, you teetering on top of alessia with your knees pressed into her stomach as she tightly held your balled fists in her hands, both your heads turning toward the door where an amused looking mario stood. "its nearly nine, go to bed or keep it down." he warned with a smile as you both nodded and he left with a chuckle and a shake of his head.

"first to get ready for bed wins, go!" alessia challenged, shooting up from her bed as you hastily followed, diving onto the floor and rummaging through your overnight bag, with a glance over your shoulder you saw you were losing and internally groaned.

however as alessia tried to jump into her pyjama shorts her clumsy nature betrayed her and she tripped over her own feet, crashing down onto the ground as you yelled time, having just finished.

"i win! loser." you stuck your tongue out at the blonde who huffed, pulling her shorts on properly and sitting beside you on the bed. "go on." alessia groaned, holding her arm out expectantly for the usual punishment from your bets.

"how do you do it again?" you frowned, attempting to give her a chinese burn but really only twisting her arm around without any success. "like this." alessia grabbed your arm and you yelled loudly in pain as she successfully gave you one, the blonde smacking a hand over your mouth as you both looked to the door, silent for a moment but breathing out once neither of her parents appeared.

"i didn't mean give me one!" you scowled, rubbing your arm with a huff. "don't be such a baby." alessia rolled her eyes, kissing your arm apologetically before getting up to turn the lights off.

"hey! you're supposed to get one, you lost." you protested, alessia only shrugging as she grabbed the remote for her tv. "you tried and failed, you're the loser now." the girl teased, ruffling your hair as she jumped into bed, both of you settling under the covers.

"i repeat; you're the worst." you sighed with a shake of your head, alessia only shooting you a grin and grabbing a half eaten block of chocolate off her side table, taking a piece before handing it over to you.

the two of you sat in silence as you finished the movie you'd paused earlier, the princess diaries. to your surprise alessia didn't fall asleep, her eyes normally slipping shut as soon as the lights were off after she'd played a full ninety minute game earlier today, but the blonde seemed just as awake as you were for once as the end credits rolled and she flicked off the tv.

"do you ever think about kissing someone?" alessia asked, the two of you laying in the dark, the only sound filling the room the faint gunshots from the other end of the hallway where her brothers were playing xbox in their own room.

"not a lot but sometimes i guess." you shrugged, not really sure how to answer. "would you kiss someone?" the girl asked again, uncertainty present in her voice. "i think i'd be scared i'd be really bad at it." you confessed honestly with a small sigh, your best friend agreeing.

"we could kiss, tell each other if we're bad or not." alessia suggested as you both sat up, backs resting against the headboard. "that's weird. don't you save your first kiss for a boyfriend?" you replied hesitantly as alessia again shrugged.

"it's not like it will mean anything. just to test it out for when we do it for real!" alessia added on as you thought it over. "okay. but no washing machines!" you stated firmly as alessia grinned. "no washing machines." the blonde held out her pinky, the two of you linking them with a nod.

"ready?" alessia asked as the two of you shifted to face each other and you nodded, leaning in a little. "go." you ordered, the two of you quickly pecking lips. "how was it?" you asked with a frown. "fine i guess?" alessia also frowned, both of you unsure what a kiss was actually supposed to feel like.

you stared at one another for a minute before bursting into laughter, sliding down into the bed and grabbing onto one another, bodys heaving as your eyes squeezed closed and you were both gasping for air, clutching your stomachs which began to hurt.

"girls!" the door suddenly flew open and light flooded the room, your hand moving over alessias mouth as you gave carol a guilty smile. "it's eleven thirty. go to bed, now!" the woman warned as you apologized, elbowing a still laughing alessia as carol gave you both a stern look and closed the door.

you both settled for a minute, laughs turning into quiet giggles. "well at least we aren't washing machines." alessia commented into the darkness, setting the both of you off again as you covered one anothers mouths, desperately trying to muffle the sounds of your amusement.

"girls!"

thirteen years old; the first boyfriend

"hey! how did it go?" you quickly shot to your feet, raising an eyebrow as your best friend wandered over, playing with the straps of her book bag.

"they said yes, but i just have to keep up with the work while i'm away and if i'm struggling to stay up to date i have to get a tutor. if my grades drop more then i'll have to miss out, they've agreed to a couple of months trial." alessia explained as you squealed, pulling her into a tight hug.

"this is amazing! my best friend, future lioness." you smiled proudly as alessias arm slung over your shoulder, the two of you making your way out of the office and back onto the school grounds to enjoy what was left of your lunch.

"i wish you played football! then you could come with me." alessia huffed in annoyance as the two of you sat down in your normal spot with twenty minutes left until the bell.

"you've seen me play football lessi." you shook your head as you grabbed out your lunch, rolling your eyes and giving half to alessia who'd eaten most of hers already at your morning break.

"yeah, maybe i could have them trade you to another team? like a really really bad woman on the inside, i'll even get them to make you goal keeper!" alessia teased as she bit down on her half of your sandwich.

"pass on that one. but your first national camp, it'll be so fun! you'll probably meet a load more girls who actually like football." you spoke a little quieter, moving your eyes to stare off into the distance which alessia didn't miss.

"hey, you're my best friend. no one can ever replace that! who else lets me kick footballs at their head and shares their lunch, i'd starve if we weren't friends." alessia grinned, shoving your head to the side playfully.

"so you keep me around for target practice and free food? great. thanks a lot less!" you rolled your eyes moodily. "that's not all you're good for. with your stimulating conversation, good looks and your enormous brain!" alessia knocked teasingly on your forehead as you smacked her hand away.

"speaking of. did you study for our math test?" you questioned sternly, having been on her back all week about it much to her disdain. "yes! sort of." alessia smiled sheepishly as you sighed deeply, used to this kind of response from the blonde.

"sort of?" "yeah, see."

with that the girl lifted up the edge of her uniform skirt, your eyes widening seeing several equations scribbled on her leg in marker. "alessia! cheating?" you hissed as the girl dropped her skirt with a shrug.

"it's not cheating, i'm just giving myself a little helping hand." alessia justified with a grin. "hey! isn't that oliver?" her smile dropped as she nodded over your shoulder with a frown. "uh yeah, why?" you glanced at the boy and back to her.

"isn't he your boyfriend? and he's over there snogging grace!" alessia scoffed in disbelief. "not anymore. he had mason come and give me a note breaking up with me this morning." you announced with a shrug, not seeming all that phased as your best friend looked at you with wide eyes.

"he did what? i'm gonna go break his arm, i told you not to go out with him!" alessia fumed standing to her feet as you hurried to tug her back down with a shake of your head.

"no you won't. we only went out for like two weeks less and we only spoke about five times, he's actually really awkward." you laughed, rubbing her shoulder in appreciation of her protectiveness.

"plus, he was not a good kisser." "washing machine?" "washing machine on a rinse cycle!"

fifteen years old; the first confession

"so there's a party tonight." alessia announced with a suggestive smile, flopping down on your bed as you hummed, head buried in your textbook. "i said, there's a party tonight." alessia repeated, yanking your book out of your hands and tossing it on the floor, her head instead coming to rest in your lap.

"and?" you huffed, smacking her forehead lightly for the mistreatment of your textbook. "and, we should go!" alessia grinned up at you, wiggling her eyebrows. "don't you have an early game tomorrow?" you sighed, playing with her hair like you knew she liked as she shrugged.

"so? we don't have to stay late but it would be fun. come on book worm, your textbooks will be okay left alone for one night!" alessia pinched at your cheeks with a mocking pout, squishing them together.

"are you asking me, or telling me?" "both? i told rory and emily to meet us here at seven." "alessia!"

it was a several hours later and you had to admit you actually weren't having a terrible time. well, you weren't at first. "no way you cheated!" you shoved rory who doubled your score at pinball, the two of you taking turns.

given that the host of this party was easily the richest boy in your grade there were all sorts of fun things to play around with. you'd not seen alessia in about an hour but you weren't too worried, the girl much more so the social butterly than you, you had no doubt she would be around mingling. you however were content so long as you had at least one of your friends by your side throughout the night.

oh how wrong you'd been to leave her on her own.

"hey y/n!" you looked up with a smile as you beat rory again, the girl punching you in the arm as another one of your friends amelia appeared. "um, it's alessia." the girl played nervously with her hands as you raised an eyebrow.

"what's alessia?" you questioned, gesturing for her to continue. "she's sort of...well, just come with me!" the girl grabbed your hand and dragged you off as you grabbed rorys, the redhead trailing after you as amelia lead the two of you upstairs.

"some of the boys brought vodka and they offered us some and well..." amelia winced, opening the bathroom door to reveal your best friend slumped over in the bath tub, emily crouched down by her side.

"she's drunk?" you asked in disbelief, the three of you shuffling into the bathroom and closing the door. "oh my best friend is here! hello you." alessia slurred, perking up happily at the sight of you as her head lolled to one side.

"how much did she drink? lessi how much did you drink?" you squatted down beside emily, grabbing the blondes hand who shrugged as her head thumped back down into the bath tub.

"dunno, few sips." the older girl shrugged as she closed her eyes. "why would you let her drink! why would you drink?" you shoved emily who looked down guiltily, rory sending you a pointed look and rubbing the brunettes back.

"sorry em. can she walk?" you apologized softly. "kind of?" emily winced as you stood, grabbing alessia's hands and trying to pull her up, the girl instead pulling you down as you landed half on top of her in the empty bath, head smacking back into the tiled wall.

"oh fuck!" you hissed sharply, clutching your throbbing head and squeezing your eyes closed. "oh god i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm so sorry." alessias eyes widened as she slurred through multiple apologies and your head began to pound.

"shit are you okay? how many fingers am i holding up? can you see one of me or two? do you feel tired? sleepy? you can't sleep if you have a concussion, wake up!" rory shoved her hand in your face. "three fingers rory, and i'm not concussed jesus!" you pushed her digits away from you with a huff.

"my mum is supposed to pick us up in an hour and if she finds her like this we're both dead." you groaned, smacking away alessia's hands which tried to cradle your sore head, still slurring apologies. "your sister, brother?" emily suggested as you shook your head, the girl in question having just lost her license for a few months for speeding, your brother still on his learners permit.

"what about alessia's brothers? god they're fit." rory suggested with a lovesick sigh, emily smacking her on the leg with a warning glare. "worth a try." you sighed, your friends helping you to your feet as rory stepped out, returning with a bottle of water as they coaxed alessia up into a sitting position, having her take small sips as you called gio first.

"short stack. to what do i owe this phone call interrupting my friday night?" the boy sighed as if annoyed but you knew he was only messing about with you, hurriedly rambling out what had happened.

"hey hey slow down. she's conscious right? she can breathe? speak?" the boy tried to calm you as you confirmed the above. "then it'll be okay. just make sure she's drinking some water and isn't left on her back in case she throws up, she could choke. text me where you are and i'll be there soon." the boy promised as you let out a sigh of relief.

"thank you."

"oh wow." the middle russo's eyes widened as it took all three of you to balance the tall blonde between you, who was really not able to walk. "come on less." gio grunted, taking her into his own arms and helping her into the car, buckling her in as she mumbled all sorts of gibberish.

"do you two need a lift home?" gio asked rory and emily who shook their heads, explaining rorys mum was already on her way to get them. you hugged them both goodbye and thanked them for their help before getting into the back next to alessia who'd already passed out.

you winced as her head slumped down onto your shoulder, the girls breath reaking of vodka and vomit as no sooner had the three of you helped her up had she released the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

"did you drink too?" gio asked somewhat firmly, giving you a stern look through the rear view mirror as you shook your head. "no i promise. i didn't even know there'd be alcohol there, and if i had i wouldn't have let less drink. i shouldn't have left her by herself!" you sighed, sparing a glance to the drunken girl beside her.

"hey what she does isn't your responsibility, you can't fix everything for her for the rest of her life. but she's lucky she's got you, even if she is a bit of an asshole to you sometimes." gio cracked a smile which you returned.

"i think the gentle bullying is just her way of showing love. you've seen how she gets when anyone else tries." you chuckled as alessia stirred, crossing her arms and sighing, still continuing to sleep on your shoulder. "mm it's very much so she can pick on you but no one else can." gio laughed quietly as he pulled into their driveway.

"are your parents still up?" you bit your lip nervously as the boy sent you a smile which said it all. "wait here a second." he slipped out of the car and headed inside. "hey lessi." nudging your shoulder up and down as the blonde let out a quiet groan.

"time to wake up, we're at your house." you encouraged softly, shaking her lightly as her bright blue eyes fluttered open. "how'd we get here?" she slurred tiredly, eyes slipping closed again as you sighed.

gio returned with luca in tow as you unbuckled her, again shaking her and helping her to sit up as she rubbed her eyes with an incoherent mumble. "oh lessi." luca sighed with a disappointed shake of his head as he and gio helped the girl out of the car, slinging her arms over their shoulders as she stumbled.

you shrunk as carol awaited your arrival in the doorway, tapping her foot and sighing as the four of you arrived. "hi mum!" the blonde slurred with a lopsided grin, head slumping back onto gio's chest. "take her to bed. i'll deal with her tomorrow!" the woman sighed tiredly, the boys nodding and doing as asked.

"you, come here." the woman beckoned as you hung back, nervously playing with your fingers. you followed her inside and to the kitchen, sitting down at the bench as she instructed, bouncing your knee nervously.

"tell me what happened, the truth." carol handed you a mug of tea as you sent her a small smile and took a sip. you sighed before filling her in on the whole night as best as you knew, unable to fill in the gaps where only alessia was present and responsible for her own actions.

"so you didn't drink?" carol asked firmly as you shook your head quickly. "nothing. i really didn't know anyone would have alcohol, i don't even know how they got it or how much she had." you admitted with a sigh, wishing you could rewind time and have kept a better eye out.

"come here." the woman opened her arms with a sigh as you hugged her, appreciating the warmth that always accompanied an embrace from any of the russo's. "you did the right thing calling someone but next time just call me or your mum, or even mario! i know he's lessi's favourite." the woman rolled her eyes as you cracked a small smile full well knowing your best friend was indeed the epitome of a daddys girl.

"are you gonna call my mum and dad?" you asked nervously, hands twisting around the now empty mug as carol nodded. "tomorrow yes. not tonight, go and get some sleep love." the woman nodded for you to head upstairs as she took your empty mug.

"are you angry with less?" you questioned, hovering in the doorway as carol sighed. "i'm more disappointed in both of you than angry. but she'll get her own talking to tomorrow, don't you worry about that! off you go." and with that you sighed, an uncomfortable feeling settling in the pit of your stomach at the woman you considered a second mum being disappointed in you.

"hey, thank you for tonight." you hovered in gio's door once you'd headed upstairs, the boy giving you a hug and ruffling your hair before you headed across to alessia's room.

you had to blink a few times to let your eyes adjust to the darkness, closing her door again and stumbling over toward her cupboard, huffing as you waded through the piles of clothes which littered her messy floor.

grabbing out some of her clothes you slipped into her bathroom, changing and brushing your teeth before flicking off the light and padding over to the bed. alessia was also changed and sleeping peacefully, mouth slightly ajar and blonde hair sprawled messily all over the pillows.

"move over less." you sighed, slipping into bed beside her and rolling her over with a grunt. the sudden change of her body had her stirring though as she groggily lifted her head, rubbing her eyes.

"where are we?" "your room lessi." "how the hell did we get here?" the girl slurred though it was much less now some time had passed since her last drink. "you're welcome. goodnight!" you turned onto your side facing away from her.

"go to sleep!" you kicked her as you felt her cold fingers tracing shapes on your back over your top. "no. i need to tell you something, turn over!" alessia demanded as you gave in with a sigh, rolling to face her and raising an eyebrow.

"you're gonna laugh at this, trust me." alessia giggled, clearly still a little drunk as she struggled to keep her head up and her eyes open. "go on then." you gestured for her to continue.

"well...i have a cruush." alessia sang out, poking your nose with a smile. "who?" you perked up, now much more interested in what she had to say. "you might know them." alessia smiled cryptically.

"who?" "you!" alessia revealed with a giggle, head slumping back onto her pillow as she sent you a drunken grin and poked your nose again.

"i think you're the best. you're also really fit and cute and ugh when i look at you sometimes i just wanna-" alessia made a grabbing motion with her hands, laying on her back now as you stayed perfectly still beside her, eyes wide and unable to move as your body tensed.

"-grab you and kiss you properly. take your breath away and make you love me like i love you. but you're my best friend and you like boys, so doesn't matter!" alessia gave you a lopsided smile, staring at you through half lidded eyes, the alcohol pumping through her blood stream like a truth serum.

"goodnight." she sighed suddenly, eyes closing properly as she settled, her breathing evening out within seconds as you remained frozen in spot, unsure how to even process what was just said.

it was safe to say you hardly slept a wink that night.

though if you were tired it was nothing compared to the disgustingly new feeling of alessia's first hangover.

you'd shot up awake as you heard her violently throwing up in the bathroom. a quick tap of your phone showed it wasn't even seven in the morning yet, barely twenty past six.

feet hitting the floor you left her room, padding quietly downstairs. grabbing some water and paracetamol and heading back to her, knowing where everything was as if you lived here.

you gave her a sympathetic smile as you entered the bathroom to see her slumped in the corner, toothbrush hanging out of her mouth and fingers massaging her temples. "here." you offered her the water and pain killers which she took with an almost inaudible thank you.

last nights confession was fresh in your mind as you helped the taller girl to her feet and back to bed. "what the fuck happened last night?" alessia croaked out, burying her head in her pillows as you lay back down beside her and filled her in, conveniently leaving out her little eleven pm confession.

"jesus christ i thought it would just be a few sips, i'm such an idiot. my parents are going to kill me!" alessia moaned into the pillow. "your mum said last night she wasn't angry, just disappointed." you revealed as she rolled onto her back. "really? thank god." alessia sighed in relief now causing you to frown.

"you're happy about that?" "well yeah? she isn't angry, that's a relief." "she's dissapointed alessia that's worse!" "lower the volume please, and don't call me alessia you never call me by my full name it's weird."

fast forward and you never brought up her confession, unsure how to go about it at all, or how you felt about any of it. alessia however also clearly didn't remember it, not mentioning it much as you'd provided opportunities.

instead the blonde chose to focus on the pounding pain in her head as her parents forced her to still play her match that day, and it was safe to assume she more than learned her lesson about pairing football and a hangover.

you'd just assumed it had been a moment of drunken stupidity, her words holding no truth or meaning, deciding to push her confession deep deep down and do your best to move on as if you'd never heard it.

four months later; the first move

"are you nervous?" you asked, fingers expertly working their way through alessia's freshly dyed blonde locks, tugging and pulling with soft apologies as you braided her hair.

"no. i don't really get nervous about football, it's just another game. the girls are all lovely and training's been going well, i think we can win." alessia answered confidently, sat on the floor between your legs as you finished the braids, tapping her shoulders.

"these look wicked!" alessia grinned as she hurried to the bathroom, checking herself out in the mirror. "wicked?" you laughed, moving to cross your legs on the hotel bed with a raised eyebrow. "i think i've been hanging around tooney and stanway too much, they say it heaps." alessia rolled her eyes playfully.

"you should get back to your room, you'll be called down to warm up soon." you reminded as you checked the time. "shit i didn't realize it was after nine! thank you, saving my ass as always." alessia sighed, opening her arms as you stood to hug her.

"thank you for coming." the blonde whispered, you having accompanied her parents and brother to her first qualifying game with the under 17's lionesses team for the junior world cup, something you'd have not missed for the world.

"i won't have a clue whats happening but i'll be cheering for you." you grinned as she pulled away, rolling her eyes and kissing your cheek as she grabbed her stuff and slipped out of the room.

the kiss was nothing unusual, you'd both always been affectionate with one another, however ever since the drunken confession each little intimacy lead you down a windy and steep path of overthinking every little thing.

"-so why is she getting to just kick it?" you asked mario with a confused frown as one of alessia's team mates had earned a free kick.

"well you saw how number four was pushed to the ground?" the man moved closer as you nodded. "well she was tackled dangerously, something called studs up." he continued as you hummed.

"know how lessi's boots have all the little bumps on the bottom? those are studs, and when you tackle someone studs up it's illegal because it can lead to serious injuries. which is why she got a yellow card after, which is like a form of penalty. if you get two yellow cards that means you get a red card and you have to leave the pitch right away." mario explained as you let out a small ohh and nodded again.

"i just love our little football chats." the man chuckled, pulling you into his side in a warm hug. "sorry! less has been trying to teach me forever but it just goes in one ear and out the other." you apologized as he waved you off, gio and luca returning and handing you a hot chocolate as you smiled gratefully.

the girls came away with a 3-2 win and you couldn't be prouder of your best friend who bagged an assist and a goal of her own, being sure to point up at you and her family as she did before celebrating with her own team.

"hey a few of us are gonna have a big team sleepover in ellie and anna's room. you're gonna come right?" georgia asked alessia hopefully as she packed up her kit bag in the locker room. "she probably wants to spend some time with her girlfriend stanway leave her be!" ellie grinned as alessia frowned.

"she's not my girlfriend. she's my best friend, we've known each other since we were like five we're just really close." alessia corrected quickly, the smile dropping from her team mates faces.

"sorry! we just, well we assumed. sorry." ellie apologised as alessia nodded, sending them all a smile and promising to join them for a team breakfast tomorrow, leaving the change rooms with a weird feeling in her stomach.

"here she is, the next top striker of england!" gio cupped his hands over his mouth and announced loudly as alessia finally joined you all, having been kept busy with her team and the debrief and celebrations for around an hour or so.

she made her way around, hugging her family before stopping in front of you. "i am so proud of you! that goal was something else." you beamed, trying to hug her as she side stepped you, sending you a grateful smile and nodding for the two of you to catch up with her parents who were going to drive you all back to the hotel.

you brushed it off to her being tired, the car ride home filled with a lot of football talk you only pretended to understand, humming every now and then as your attention remained on the view outside, watching the world zip by quickly in blurs of green, grey, brown and blue.

though you were so fixated on the world outside that you entirely missed the pining looks constantly sent your way by your best friend beside you, who couldn't help but admire your side profile.

a soft smile settling on her lips as she watched your dimples appear and your nose scrunch every time you'd smile at something, the blonde finding both things absolutely adorable.

it was safe to say by the time you'd gotten back to the hotel and changed, then sat through a long dinner with her parents, then gone out for ice cream, alessia was shattered.

having been sharing a hotel room with her brothers you now had the room to yourself as they'd headed back a night early having plans with friends back home. so alessia opted out of her sleepover invite, ditching her team mates in favour of spending the night with you.

"god i think i'm gonna be ill." alessia moaned as she clutched her stomach, sinking into the soft mattress of one of the beds as you laughed. "i told you that second ice cream was a terrible idea and you'd make yourself sick. plus you ate your dinner, the starter and half of mine!" you shook your head, hands on your hips as you smiled down at her.

"i ran off a lot of energy today okay i was hungry! and you should know by now that i don't ever listen to a word you say so you should have found another way to stop me!" alessia groaned, her stomach gurgling.

"if you stink up the room as that all comes out the other end i'm sleeping in the hallway!" you warned, kicking her playfully and laying down beside her on the bed, both your legs dangling off the edge.

"please you love the smell of my farts, you've copped enough of them on your head over the years." alessia looked at you with a teasing grin as you gagged, shoving her away from you.

"urgh you're so gross sometimes. i can see why your mum says she basically had three boys!" you rolled your eyes mockingly. "please we're best friends we're supposed to share everything together, no matter what end it comes out of." alessia winked as you shook your head, gagging at her again.

"so i'll be sure to let your new team mates know you wet the bed till you were nine?" you grinned, knowing where to hit her to make it hurt as her jaw dropped. "that is such a lie! it was one time after we watched a scary film." alessia grumbled, sitting up and glaring down at you unappreciatively.

"but will they believe that? i don't think so, golden girl." you mocked as alessia's jaw dropped further and you barely had a second to roll away before she grabbed a pillow and tried to smack you with it.

"aren't footballers supposed to be coordinated?" you grabbed the other one, standing up on the bed with a challenging grin. "oh just you wait." alessia laughed as she stood up across from you, the two of you staring the other down, waiting someone to make the first move.

when she didn't make a move you lunged first, swinging the pillow with a war cry, collecting her right in the face as the two of you bounced around the bed like children half your age, smacking one another as your laughter filled the room.

you squealed as alessia suddenly tripped, grabbing onto you and practically tackling you down on the bed as she landed on top of you. the two of you couldn't contain your laughter as alessia laid her taller form down atop you, both your chests heaving and lungs burning with laughter until you eventually both began to settle.

as alessia sat up slightly she found her gaze pulled down to admire your flushed features. the way the corners of your mouth curled into a soft smile, the mischievous twinkle in your bright and alluring eyes, the curvature of your jaw and the way your ears stuck out a little from your head, something she constantly teased you for but actually found rather adorable.

now she was thinking about it there was a lot more about you alessia found so charmingly alluring it began to make her head spin. your eyes meeting hers as they shamelessly roamed your face, drinking in every single little detail, burning it into her mind so that if she never saw you again she would always be able to see you in her head.

catching the look in alessia's own face you pulled your head up slowly, the two of you staring each other down for a moment.

the older girls eyes couldn't help though to be drawn to your soft cherry pink lips, feeling the most overwhelming urge of curiosity wash over her at thinking of what they might feel like pressed to hers.

suddenly, but slowly, you both began to lean in as if compelled by some unknown force you were unable to stop.

then a pause, your faces so close that if alessia even just slightly turned her head, her nose would brush yours.

the blonde's eyes seemed to search your face as if silently asking permission of the younger girl beneath her, another pause passed before you nodded, both your hearts hammering so hard in your chests it felt like they could burst at any moment.

and just like that alessia leant in that little bit more, closing the final gap between the two of you as she finally captured your lips in her own.

butterflies exploded in their stomachs as the kiss grew longer and sweeter with every fleeting second that passed. alessia's breathe hitched slightly as she felt a warm hand slide into her own, you intertwining your fingers with hers as your other arm wrapped around her neck.

and in that very moment, everything felt right.

both of you eventually needed to pull away for air, alessia rolling off of you as you both lay in silence, hands still tightly intertwined in the small space that sat between you.

"go on a date with me?" alessia asked suddenly, cheeks bright red as she nervously awaited your answer, unable to hold back her true feelings toward you any longer.

"i'd love to lessi."

sixteen years old; the first date

alessia nervously drummed her fingers on her thighs as she spared a glance at you across the table from her, your eyes drawn down to the menu in front of you as the striker shakily exhaled.

"you alright?" you asked softly, sending her a smile as she quickly nodded, picking up the menu and covering her face which she was certain was bright red.

the action made you smile to yourself, this nervous, awkward and very clearly flustered side of alessia not one you'd really gotten much insight into over the years. instead you'd always been stuck with the cocky charmingly over confident blonde who seemed to all but disappear tonight.

the two of you were out for dinner, for your first official date since the kiss just a week and a half ago. since then you'd celebrated your sixteenth birthday, finally again the same age as your best friend, the two of you celebrating with your families.

things had been a little different since the kiss, you both danced around your feelings and interactions as if they were all suddenly new again, trying your best to navigate the obvious shift in your relationship with one another.

though aware that it was her who asked you on a date alessia had spent far too long overthinking what to do, eventually deciding the two of you should just get dinner at paradiso's.

the restaurant was frequented by your families often enough that it wouldn't raise any alarm bells the two of you going together, you both establishing on that same night as the kiss that you wanted to keep this between the two of you for the time being.

"are we ready to order girls?" john, the server who'd known you both since you were kids came over with a kind smile, alessia looking at you who nodded. the two of you made your orders and john disappeared to get them started.

"so, how was training?" you asked with a polite smile, having been trying all night to get the conversation flowing but each time something seemed to halter it, things fizzling out as soon as they started.

"yeah good, fine. the usual." alessia nodded, wiping her sweaty hands on her pants which didn't go unnoticed, none of her out of character behaviours did.

"lessi, hey." you called out softly, gaining her attention as you grabbed her hand under the table, squeezing it gently and interlocking your fingers. "why are you so nervous? it's just me." you whispered, the blonde nodding.

"i know, this just feels...so different." alessia sighed as you had to hum in agreement, things did feel a bit forced and awkward and you weren't really sure how to address it. a few moments of silence passed as you held on tightly to the strikers hand.

and then, everything suddenly clicked.

"can i say something?" you blurted out, gaining alessia's attention which had wandered to counting how many red tiles there were on the mosaic wall in the corner. "of course." alessia assured with a nod.

"i don't think this is going to work." you admitted quietly, alessia frowning and snatching back her hand. "no no sorry! gosh i could have worded that better." you blushed realising how it was coming across to her.

"not this-" you gestured between the two of you. "-this!" you instead gestured around the restaurant. "i think we know each other too well to do the whole conventional first date thing." you smiled as alessia visibly de-tensed, nodding firmly in agreement.

"do you want to just get the food to go? go back to mine and watch a movie?" you offered as alessia agreed, turning in her seat to gesture toward john.

within half an hour you were back at your family home, your dad having picked you both up, stealing a piece of pizza as his payment for the ride before leaving you both to it, your mum and siblings out for the evening.

once the two of you had eaten and decided on a movie you excused yourself to the bathroom, grabbing some clothes to change into and encouraging alessia do the same.

when you returned she'd donned one of your hoodie and a pair of her football shorts she'd found laying around which she'd left here before. "wondered where that went." the blonde laughed seeing you exit the bathroom in her shirt, which hung down just above your knees.

"you left it here, it becomes partially mine." you shrugged with a smile, causing the blonde to roll her eyes. "i'll keep that in mind." she teased as you sat back down next to her, clicking play.

it only took a few minutes before alessia's hand found yours, intertwining your fingers with a shy smile as you kissed her cheek. another twenty or so minutes passed then alessia started to move around a bit, seemingly restless.

"you alright?" you asked, glancing to her as she stopped. "would you maybe want to..." she gestured between her legs as now you smiled shyly, nodding. the two of you moving around a little you found your back resting against her front, caged in by her long tanned legs either side of your body.

"is this okay?" alessia asked quietly, snaking her arms around your stomach and resting her chin on your shoulder. "it's perfect." you promised with a soft smile, settling into her hold, your hands coming to rest on top of hers.

"you know..." you spoke up around a half hour later, growing quite bored of the movie you'd both picked. "mm?" alessia hummed as you turned to look up at her. "if this is like a date, we could maybe kiss a little." you suggested hesitantly, unsure if you were going a little too fast.

"yeah?" alessia asked, features filling with surprise as you nodded. "if you wanted to." you corrected, cheeks blushing slightly making the taller girl smile. "i do." she promised, squeezing your hands and leaning down a little.

"may i kiss you please?" she asked gently, breath ghosting your lips as her eyes roamed your face for any signs of discomfort, coming up empty as you nodded.

"yes you may."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

part eight

[galaxygermdraws]

So I joked about drawing every final boss from the M&L series but it's Luigi, and I did get most of them. Brothership I technically can't make him the final boss, but I did just make an AU where Luigi is the Zokket of the plot. Anyways uhhh.

Explanation for all of these under the cut, I suppose

(reblogs with tags/comments are appreciated. Thankyu)

Superstar Saga: After the fight in Woohoo Hooniversity, Peasley still shows up to attack Fawful, but instead of flinging him and Cackletta's soul away, it merely breaks the helmet, and her soul flies into Luigi.

Partners in Time: Luigi specifically gets infected by Shroob mushrooms, although he doesn't actually know this until they're in Toad Town. They aren't contagious, he is the only one infected with them, so he just kind of. Doesn't say anything. Most of them grow out of his head so he can hide them with his hat. At the end of the game he ends up eating the Shroob Mushroom rather than Bowser, causing him to get infected with the Elder Princess Shroob's spirit

Bowser's Inside Story: While the Dark Star is in Bowser's body, it notices Luigi's weird aura and decides to take him as a host rather than bother with Bowser. This leads to Mario and Starlow having to leave Bowser's body, find Bowser, team up with him temporarily, and fight the Dark Star Luigi (who did take its powers back from Fawful btw. It had no time to waste, especially when Luigi has the Chaos Heart in him and will make taking over the world much easier)

Dream Team: So when Bowser inhales the Dream Stone, in this AU, Luigi chucks his hammer at him, and a few of the shards don't make it in. He manages to grab those and decides if Bowser is gonna eat half of them, he can eat the other half. They'll have the same power levels. So Dreamy Luigi but in the real world

Brothership: Reclusa's Egg ended up in the Mushroom World instead of Concordia, and it landed near Luigi's house. He finds it and decides to take care of it, but it begins talking to him and controlling him, and also totally twisting his insecurities into his new identity (which does not have a name as of rn).

No Paper Jam because I don't know how to turn Luigi into that but also that game's plot is not interesting in the slightest and I really need to just rewrite it. Anyways uh. I really like Luigi :3

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Gooigi (again)

Debut: Luigi's Mansion (3DS)

When I was playing Luigi's Mansion 3 for the first time, I was thinking, "I sure love Gooigi. I wish I could write a Weird Mario Enemies post on him, but we already have one..." but I now realize! That post was written before the release of 3! We had no idea! No idea.

Who is the Mario character with the most fleshed-out backstory? Is it Mario, with his monolithic catalogue of media appearances? No, the insight we get into his past is simplistic at most. Is it Rosalina, with her beloved storybook? She comes close, I will admit, but there is someone who comes closer! Can you guess who it is? Can you guess the character I am hyping up in the post with a big image of Gooigi at its forefront? Yes, you can! It's Gooigi.

Indeed, Gooigi has seven entire pages of lore from the official website, written from the perspective of E. Gadd himself, explaining his origins, how he does what he does, WHY he does what he does, everything! You can read it here, and I'm not going to waste time repeating what was already said. I will just paraphrase: Goo is made from coffee mixed with ghost energy. Gooigi is the result of Luigi's digital data being zapped into it for a default form. Gooigi was sent back in time to Luigi's Mansion 1 for training and research purposes, and is now stored in a canister in the Poltergust G-00.

Got it? Good. Here is Baby Gooigi. How precious! Back before he had any Luigi in him at all. This is Goo in a human-shaped mold, and you may notice the mold itself has no face. Baby Gooigi learned how to express agony all on his own! It's no wonder they took a photo of this milestone!

Now with Super Mario Bros. Wonder, we have TWO gelatinous Luigis to choose from. And why not both? Gooigi is a separate entity, so Gooigi and Wubba Luigi can coexist! But not always... when playing Luigi's Mansion 3 single player, Luigi and Gooigi must be controlled separately. Luigi is able to will his consciousness into the doppelgangreener to control its movements, and it's here that it gets extra weird! Weird to the point that this game basically has multiple possible continuities?

Gooigi is NOT scared of ghosts, at all! He is an anomaly to them! This is very much "distinct character" behavior. But how is this the case if Luigi wills his soul into Gooigi? Well, both concepts are kind of true at the same time! As we can see here, cutscenes will actually change depending on if the game is in single-player or co-op play, portraying different events! Really really weird! It's like if Schroedinger's Cat was a pair of funny green men, one with bones and organs, and one translucent. So what is the truth...? (Spoilers for Luigi's Mansion 3 ahead...)

In the ending, even in single-player mode, Gooigi is portrayed as his own sentient character! Even though this contradicts the "consciousness transfer" lore, I think this is the "true" intention for him. It's much more fun and less awkward if he can be active at the same time as Luigi! I also don’t think they care that much about minor gameplay features being lore-compliant, since Polterpup got pupils in the end of the second game, and those were removed in 3 without explanation.

Unfortunately, as the hotel crumbles after King Boo's defeat, Gooigi falls from the top floor and dies.

He even says "bye-bye" before the fall. I can't believe this. How could Nintendo allow something so upsetting? They thought it was okay to let Gooigi say "bye-bye" rather than "goo-dbye"? That has "goo" in it! It would have been perfect. (I am not actually upset by this at all and "bye-bye" is more in character)

After splattering on the pavement he reforms, because duh. He's goo. You can test this for yourself! Scoop a glob of mayonnaise out of the jar with your hand. Next, travel to the top of a skyscraper. Finally, drop the mayonnaise off of the side! When it hits the ground, it will not have died. Science Fact!

As silly it may be, I was a bit worried Gooigi might die for real, even though that wouldn't make any sense to happen. I was just thinking of modern Paper Mario, introducing new buddies only to take them away by the end. But I should have known that Luigi's Mansion is not at all like that! This is the series where they gave Luigi a dog, and that was that. We don't see Polterpup as often as we should, but it cannot be argued! Luigi has a dog. What would stop them from keeping Gooigi around? Nothing, that's what! He stays with E. Gadd, and is not going anywhere!

Just like Polterpup, I would love to see Gooigi more, though. I would love for him to be Luigi's answer to Metal Mario! Gooigi driving a kart! I don't care that he dies in water, and I don't think Nintendo would care too much either. I would like to leave you off with The Big Question. This is a new, distinct character, who is "genetically" similar to Luigi. As such.

[purpdrawsthings]

HIS REFERENCE SHEET IS REAL CHAT ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥

Yippee less goooooo, you can now know how the hell this man's outfit finally works now.

You guys can actually make him, with ✨COLORS✨

Honestly, making colors that would match him was really hard. It took me about a week to actually figure it all out just because of how hard it is and how I wanted it to be close to a star aesthetic.

Buttttt I got it all sorted out and to be honest, the result isn't too bad if I do say so myself.

After finishing the colors, it went all easy thankfully, I didn't really have to think that much about his Mario recolor form.

FUN FACT : He came right after the Revelations arc ended =3333333

Relationship chart because yes

Some of the characters uhhh text things are kinda meh cuz my brain ain't braining rn.

Sadge =[

But heyyyyy, at least y'all can now know his relationships yippee =DDDDDDDD

ALSO DO NOT MISTAKE HIS PINK ARROWS AS AFFECTION HE JUST ADMIRES THEM

But I don't really mind if you actually-

Uhhhhhhh deez nutz he can be shipped with anyone, as long as it's not someone he hates, like a certain tv someone =3

So now that that's done.... LET'S HAVE AT IT SOME FUN FACTS!!!!!

He was actually meant to be a silly villain, something like Storms oc, SMG8 =3 buttttt I saved that for later and changed him into a different character.

That human form you're looking at right now ain't even his true form, his true form is that weird star thing!!! Crazyyyy

Speaking about his star form, while in that form, he only speaks in speech bubbles, and is inaudible.

He was meant to be a ✨blondie✨ but after a test I found out it wasn't really the best color so why not use that uh.... Random ass hair color =D

He's got powers to fend off viruses ofc, but I'll do that for a later post, maybe I'll link it from here if I post it =]

Anddddd that's about all =DDDD

I'll probably think of more and probably update this post behind yalls backs lmao

But it'll probably not happen soon.

Anyways, you can now draw him, AND ask question for this man through my ask box, yippeeeeeee =DDDDDDDD

And uhh.... Yeah. Yeetus!!! =3

HAH! YOU REALLY THOUGHT THAT WAS THE END?

Naive people /silly

I actually just wanted to add some special thanks for some people that deserve to be here for a sec =3

@strange0-0storm

The first insp for this man!!! He helped me form GSP the most. I remember that one post he made and I think it was a question thing. I think the question was how did he make 8 or something. Idk I don't remember it much.

But in that post, he stated that he made 8 by making an opposite or something, and that sparked an idea for some reason lmao.

You can see some opposite accessories from him that are opposites of both 4 n' 3. Like the weird ahhhh shaped hat, him having glasses, him actually wearing a suit or something, and him having long, beautiful hair ✨

I uh.... Explained that terribly did I? AHSOSHSOSHISHEISHS THIS IS WHY I DON'T EXPLAIN STUFF RAHHHHHHH

Oopsies I'll get back to the thing =3

Anyways, yeah, as you can see, 8 was a big inspiration for this man, even sparking the idea of making him the same silly lil villain like 8 =3

I thank Storm so much for the huge insp, really helped make him!!!!!

@tiredsmashbros

This man was literally inspired by TSB... GUHH... This man is everywhere I swear....

BUT SERIOUSLY THO TSB WAS ANOTHER HUGE INSPIRATION BESIDES 8!!!!

TSB helped me arrange some of the colors, especially taking some inspiration from the orange and yellow =3

Funny thing but I sometimes accidentally draw GSP with a propeller like TSB on his head because I sometimes mistake him with TSB kshsisuwosossh

The name 'GSP' was also inspired by TSB! Seeing as the name meant TiredSmashBros, I thought if using PurpDrawsThings but when I realized that didn't fit, I just made up random shit lmaooooo

Sooooo yeah! Thank you Tomm for TSB helping me on how to arrange colors and also making his name =3

@its-a-me-mango

Not really seen here but when I said he was supposed to be a blondie and it didn't fit, I suddenly thought of Mango's hair 😭

I was like "Am I really sure I wanna use that"

Then I tested out different hues... Saturations... Andddddd nothing worked 💀 so I was like- "y'know what? Fuck it. I'mma just do it."

Sooooo uh... Yeah! Thank you Mango for helping me make his hair and relationship chart idea lmao 😭😭

Anddddd that's how his hair was born ❤

Also another huge thanks for Mango is insp for the relationship chart! I remember Mango's relationship chart having some text so I decided to do that =]

And that's about all!!!

Like actually fr this time.

These three were just huge inspirations on making him, and I can't thank them enough 😭

THANK YOU 3!!!! LOVE Y'ALL!!!!!

anyways, I'mma go and rest my fingers because I feel like they're actually breaking /silly

YEETUS MY BEANS!!!

[janmisali]

(yes you have to watch all of these. they're required viewing for any janmisali follower)

[the-hydroxian-artblog]

have you ever tried (or considered trying) drawing more suggestive/intimate art? not trying to convince you to do it or anything, i'm just curious. your understanding of anatomy and expressions would probably work pretty well for it. i totally understand why you wouldn't, though. there's a Lot of reasons Not to. just curious to hear your thoughts on it

i think it's great. In terms of just suggestiveness it's a simple matter of me drawing to my preferences, but in terms of intimacy, it's more a matter of what I think my audience is expecting. Considering a chunk of my roster are literally weird toy-folk, I do quite literally enjoy smashing their faces together like dolls to make them kiss.

that said. this

might not be what the majority of my audience would like to see. but if you do want to see it. you know what to do.

if you're curious about Vance here i'll just throw in some details under the cut. why not.

Vance the Fox-guy is an ex-human like Az, and fits the "designated human" trope of the one character in the non-human friend group who can pass as human and do things like drive and pick up food and stuff for everyone else. In contrast, Victor has a human form but for all his bravado he's a wreck in most social situations

easiest way to describe Vance is that he's to star fox and zelda what Vinny Vinesauce is to mario, so that's why he looks like that. deals with Victor's fruity shenanigans

they're roommates. I kinda wanna draw a story about how they met

[animentality]

Guys, I don't know how to explain to you that you can scream and cry and rage and support censorship of creative works, but it will not stop people from jerking off to Mario x Luigi porn.

Or making it.

Like I'm sorry you feel uncomfortable, but life tends to be very uncomfortable.

It might disturb you to think of Nasty ships that other people like...so stop thinking about them.

Let other people be nasty with each other in their own little segregated sicko communities if they want. How is that your business?

All these pricks, saying ban ao3, take down ao3, it has weird porn on it.

How about you mind your own fucking business and stay in your lane

I think about the most infamous slash ship of all time, Kirk x Spock, and how slash was actually an arrestable offense, and female fans of star trek used to have to spread that shit in private.

You people are the same.

Censor all LGBT art, because it's morally evil!

Anything that is not between a man and a woman is heresy!

This ship is incestuous or celebrates power imbalances or is abusive-

So??

Don't ship it. Don't seek out content for it.

Stop jerking off to it in private and condemning it publicly.

What are you, a republican?

Fuck you, fuck your censorship, and even if you banned all questionable content tomorrow, you'd still have people writing and drawing wincest.

Get the fuck over it. Stop using the internet if you're terrified of seeing weird shit.