#also writing this so i don't forget but

[inkskinned]

i keep thinking about hobbies and how i often spill over myself to pick up new ones. i have adhd, i end up trying something for like a month and then just getting far enough in it that i move on, satisfied.

and that should be fine; but it's never fine.

i am a pretty decent artist; but i can't just make art for my dnd campaign, i should be selling dnd maps and character designs and scene setting pieces. i can't just make my friends matching earrings, i need to get an etsy and ship them internationally and take bulk orders. i make pretty good props and decorations and use them to throw my friends parties - but i should be running a party planning business and start taking paying clients and networking and putting my skills to actual use.

for some reason, i never figured out the specifics of pottery. it was a fun class and i enjoyed myself - and still, i'm embarrassed, years later, that i put in all that useless effort. everything i make has to be stunning. stellar. i should have applied myself more. maybe i'm too lazy. maybe i'm broken and selfish and needy. actually creative people would have kept going; they would be bettering themselves at every possible opportunity.

we find ourselves in this trap, even accidentally: we need to commodify our time, because it is a commodity. if we spend our efforts and our time not earning, isn't that the same thing as burning free money? and god forbid you ever take up a hobby that ends up being more expensive than you thought. you sit in your car and you look at the receipt and in your head you hear a conversation that isn't even happening - your mom or your friend or your partner all saying oh great. not this shit again. it's always something with you, and it never actually means anything.

i have realized this horrible thing, recently - i'll get excited to start a project, pick up a new hobby. and then i just... stop myself. i start thinking about the amount of time it will take, and how it'll look in my monthly budget. what if i can't even produce a good enough final product. sure, it's exciting to think about how i could make my friend her own custom dice. but i'm just polluting the earth if i don't get it right. better not bother. better not try.

restless, i get caught in the negative space. the feeling that oh god, i want to create. and that horrible sense - yeah, but i don't have the time to just put to waste.

[demaparbat-hp]

In your Spitfire AU, since Zuko is looking after Lu Ten II, what happened to Ursa?

Zuko is slightly older in the Spitfire AU. He was banished at fifteen, his head a little clearer and denial a little weaker than in canon. After his first look through the Air Temples, Zuko decides that if he can't find a myth, he might as well search for the next best thing.

Finding Ursa isn't easy, but in time he makes it to a secluded house in a near-forgotten part of the world. His mom is there, older and stronger and alive.

But she isn't alone.

And Zuko, as it turns out, didn't keep the best company during his search.

When Ursa is discovered and her secrets are laid bare for assassins (for Ozai) to find, she begs Zuko to take his little brother and run. She'll do anything it takes to protect her children, even if that means leaving them behind to keep a target off their back. Ursa diverts attention from them and allows Lu Ten's ancestry to be kept a secret. She orders Zuko not to follow her again, and disappears.

Zuko is left with a little three-year-old brother to raise and a mother he cannot hold onto.

[bbuzz28]

Memories

Old man Fiddlestan, my beloved-and what's this? It could be semi-canon compliant :O ?!?! Woof- this is one of the saddest things I have ever written. I know some of you gremlins (affectionate) love that sort of thing, but I don't. I like really really don't. This is my comfort ship, so I don't even know where this came from other than trying to figure out how they *could* work in canon. Truthfully though, I prefer my Fiddlestan heavy on the comfort when it comes to the "hurt/comfort" genre. This is my only “angsty” (i.e. no immediate happy ending) Notes-app fics, so don't get used to this level of sad from me lol.

“Stan?” an oddly familiar voice called. Mr. Mystery, Stan Pines, glanced up from the flyers he was organizing and found that Old Man McGucket stood in the doorway of his front door. The last tour of the day had just left, it was dinnertime, and he was exhausted. Stan rolled his eyes as he unfurled his tie, wishing Soos was still there to escort the crazy old man off his property. No matter what he did, the old hillbilly always managed to find his way back to the Shack. “Sweet Moses McSuckit, what are you doing in here? Shoo, scat, or whateva will get rid of ya.” Hearing no movement, he looked at the man again and found he was standing erect. His blue eyes were the clearest he had seen them in no less than a decade.

          Wait, what did he call- oh. Oh no.

“Stan…ley? Did I…did I do somethin’ wrong?” the other man asked, his hands twisted in knots in front of him. Memories flashed through Stan’s mind; Ford falling through the portal, Fiddleford finding him passed out in the lab, working together to bring Ford home again…being together. Being happy. They had been happy, if just for a little while, hadn’t they?

Then there was the cult, and his discovery of the damn memory gun that had finally ruined everything they ever built. He took a hesitant step forward, a thousand thoughts roaring in his mind at once. “Fidds? Wha-what do you remember?” A bandaged hand snaked up and rubbed over the faded scar on the side of his head “I…don’t rightly know. Did we…I think we had a fight? I just woke up in the…in the dump. N’ I don’t have any shoes. Do ya know why my arm is in a cast?” Fiddleford looked so lost.

Stan knew in his heart that all of this was fleeting- “clarity” would hit Fiddleford every few years after he had finally wiped his mind of himself. Almost like his brain was trying to jumpstart itself back together. The first time they thought it was a miracle but…it didn’t last. It just started a trend that would follow them both for the next almost thirty years. Fiddleford would seemingly “wake up” and be lucid for a few weeks in the beginning, then eventually only a matter of days. It had been so long since the last time that Stan would wager, they only had maybe a few hours together if he was lucky.

The last time Fiddleford was himself…they had fought. Stanley thought he had figured the only way Fiddleford could stay; he needed to remember. Remember everything he had ever forgotten. At the time, Fiddleford had been unwilling to try. He didn’t think he could handle it; he knew he had forgotten what he had for a reason.

Stanley had gotten as close to begging as he ever had in his life since surviving Tijuanna, and when it had no effect…Stanley had told Fiddleford to leave and never come back. He had left that night, and by the next day he had faded away again. After a while, Stan thought his last words had been the final nail in the coffin that was Fiddleford’s mind. He carried that weight along with every other mistake he had ever made. But here he was. Fiddleford. His Fiddleford.

He took a deep breath before he opened his arms up. “Hey, don’t worry, it doesn’t matter. I’m right here.” Fiddleford rushed through the doorway, melting into Stanley’s open arms. “I went away again, didn’t I?” Stan could feel Fiddleford’s tears soaking into his chest, his own whispering at the edges of his eyes. Yes, and you will leave again. You will leave me and I will be alone all over again, you fucking asshole. “Hey cowboy, didn’t I just say not t’ worry about any a’ that? You’re here now, n' that’s what matters. You’re…you’re home.” A haggard laugh vibrated through the smaller man’s chest into Stanley’s own. “I know I keep tellin’ ya, tellin’ me not t’ worry is like” “…tellin’ a fish t’ stop swimmin’; I know Fidds, I know.” Fuck was really the only conscious thought that went through his head as he held his one-time lover. He couldn’t believe he was doing this, again.

Fiddleford looked up, eyes wide and searching Stan’s face. “How long do ya think we have?” Stan shook his head, unwilling to lie even if it eventually wouldn’t matter because he wouldn’t remember. You’ve always been the only person I couldn’t lie to. “I dunno, it’s been…a while. Probably not very long.” Fiddleford closed his eyes before he said “I need ya t’ know somethin’, Stanley.” Stan started to shake his head. “Fidds, you don’t have t-” The look on the other man’s face shut Stan right up-he had always had that ability. Stan wished he didn’t miss it as much as he did. “I need ya to know that even when I’m not here…I miss you. The part of me that’s somewhere in here-” A weathered hand tapped the side of his head to emphasize his point “ misses you. I’m just so sorry, Stanley. Sorry that I’m a coward. I’m sorry that I’m not strong enough to be here all the time…but I’ll never stop tryin’. I’ll always try n’ come home to ya.”

Stan thought of the thousands of times he had chased Old Man McGucket, the neat little character that Stan had to compartmentalize his Fiddleford into when he wasn’t himself, out of the Shack. How many times he had found him curled up like a cat on the back porch. How every time they “met”, McGucket would say how nice Stan was or how good he felt to be around him “for some reason.” How many odds and ends McGucket would gift Stan from the dump for exhibits at the Mystery Shack with a large smile and nothing substantial behind his eyes.

It would be so much easier if he would stop trying to come back. Maybe the hole in Stan’s heart the size of the sweet, certifiably insane man would scab over. How many times had Stanley mourned him? How many times was he willing to hurt himself? They were now nearing their sixties, how long was he really willing to do this song and dance?

What’s one more time? he softly thought, his hand coming up to tenderly cup the grizzled face of Fiddleford Hadron McGucket. Mad scientist, friend, and unfortunately for them both…the love of his life.

“I miss you too, Fidds.”

[erinwantstowrite]

every time i start panicking about the small details (like how i don't know near as much marvel lore as i do DC, etc) i remind myself that LoF wasn't supposed to get super popular and im just having fun and practicing writing for my own books and suddenly that anxiety goes away. like it's not gonna be perfect and it was born out of me and my friend being goofy

[bunnymadeofstardust]

siff and loop doodles that went a little farther than intended, and then I immediately forgot to post them ,:3

a bonus I made for the second to last one for ya~!

[welcometogrouchland]

I understand that literature nerd Jason Todd is kind of overblown in fanon compared to it's actual presence in canon (a few issues during his pre (and post?)crisis Robin tenure that highlight it) BUT consider that I think it's hilarious if the unhinged gun toting criminal has strong opinions on poetry

[two-entire-bits]

mar-bit headcanons because I have been consumed <3

Marcia steals his leather jacket all the time. He thinks it's the cutest thing ever

once Two-Bit got jumped and knocked out and Marcia was the first one to find him and he made one of those stupid "holy shit I musta died and gone to heaven cuz there's an angel in front of me" jokes when he woke up and saw her

Marcia's really good at school and especially loves science, but has a hard time understanding new math concepts (although once she gets them down she's off and running) and Two-Bit is surprisingly good at math for some reason (he doesn't try in school but he does put in 0.000001 mL of effort so he can pass and move on to the next level. but only barely) so he explains the concepts to her without making her feel stupid

Marcia knows Two likes blondes and once joked about bleaching her hair and he was horrified at the concept.

Marcia's really good at chess?? Like really good. Two-Bit has no clue how to play and he is too confused by how it works to start learning now.

Marcia LOVES to be carried around by Two ALL THE TIME. She wants to make some dinner? Two-Bit is bridal-style carrying her down the stairs from her room to the kitchen. She wants to get snacks at the movies? Piggy-back ride to the concession stand.

the latter style also gives her an excuse to kiss his head and mess up & play with his hair

She carries an old makeup compact with his favorite hair grease and a comb with her at all times in case of an "emergency" (when she messes up his hair)

He also carries around some of her makeup in his jacket in case she ever forgets it

Marcia WILL kiss his face all over and she WILL get lipstick stains everywhere and he will NOT remove it. absolutely refuses to.

He also will reapply her lipstick for her after such cases

They love doing as much as possible for each other that way, they love just taking care of each other and holding each other and being in love and also being silly about it

THEY'RE THE TYPE OF COUPLE TO DO THAT TWO-STRAWS-ONE-MILKSHAKE THING

He'll also do her nails (traits achieved by having a little sister) and he loves it because he gets to focus on something and they just take turns rambling

He steals stuff for her all the time (she finds it endearing) but the two times he didn't was when he got her a gift for her first birthday after they started dating (she then reassured him he didn't have to spend money on her just because it's a special occasion) and when he got her an engagement ring

He proposed to her at the drive-in (or where it used to be if it closed down)

Marcia and Two-Bit's sister (Tammy (short for Tamara (Two-Bit calls her Tamster))) get along slightly too well for Two's liking. they plot against him

It took Tammy a while to warm up to her but once she did they were an unstoppable force

Marcia will take her out to the mall to try stuff on and have a "girls day" every couple of months but Tammy refuses to let Marcia buy her anything so Marcia will report back to Two and he'll go out and steal things Tammy liked

I don't know if she'd go BUT if she did Marcia would help Tammy get ready for her school formal/homecoming/prom and teach her how to do makeup and Two-Bit literally cannot find the words to thank her enough because Tammy looks so happy and he never could've done that, not because he didn't want to, because he didn't know how, it's the 60's and he's a guy, she's a girl, yeah he's her brother but he has no clue how to make her comfortable in her femininity and such, and it just makes him love Marcia even more

Two-Bit actually learned how to cook a few meals because he felt like he had to give back to Marcia for loving him

He also picks up after himself when he's at her house even though he never does at home because he feels bad

Two-Bit has a big expectation of himself that he has to be happy and active and always moving and keeping up everybody else's spirits all the time that when Marcia does something nice for him or just holds him he's caught so off guard. he needs to be the little spoon sometimes okay.

Like he's so used to taking up space but with her he can just feel small and exist

He loves the gang and is so much more himself around them but he still has a Role and Marcia is on a whole other level of Two-Bit-esque weird that he can like, completely unmask with her once they've been together long enough

Early on he'd do something weird around her without thinking and go like "well, shit." because when he gets to be Too Much Himself it's driven people away in the past but then she finds it funny or endearing or she just doesn't react at all and he falls even more in love with her

It took him a long time to really learn that he didn't owe Marcia anything in exchange for her love

Marcia just wants to hold him sometimes also. In my head her parents are often absent and she doesn't have any siblings, so she'll just touch him or hold onto him a lot to reassure herself he's there and he's not leaving

Marcia will come over to Two-Bit's house sometimes and help make dinner or clean with his mom (they also get along well) or just spend time with all of them and it took them all awhile to not think of it as charity but Marcia just liked feeling like she actually had a family

They have THE most extrapolatory nicknames for each other. It starts off tame but it evolves to the point where their names and the nicknames have barely anything in common

on my dancer Two-Bit bullshit forever Marcia's house has a piano and she'll play music for him to dance to

this man has not missed one of Marcia's barrel races ever. he's there way earlier than he needs to be he stays until she leaves he is the loudest person on the bleachers.

Marcia started watching Mickey Mouse so Two-Bit would have someone to talk to about it

[sun-marie]

pivoting a little off of that Neve post to say real quick that if you haven't played the Templar route of DAI i highly recommend it. Some highlights:

Calpernia vs Leliana > Samson vs Cullen. Samson, as an antagonist, honestly feels pulled out of thin air, and having an extremely weird rivalry between him and Cullen shines a spotlight on the very strange role Cullen plays in DAI and makes the player wonder why they aren't switched. Calpernia, on the other hand, is a nuanced and complex character with somewhat sympathetic motivations, and watching Leliana get to put her spymaster skills to use to find out more about her is a lot more satisfying imo. Additionally, Samson's maguffin of his Red Lyrium armor being weakened for the unavoidable fight pales in comparison to convincing Calpernia to stand down by telling her the truth about how Corypheus is using her.

DAI's infamous issue with Corypheus's lack of presence in the story? Somewhat alleviated in this route. It's still not great, but we actively see him manipulate Calpernia, multiple times iirc, and at one point we hear his thoughts throughout one of the dungeons. I sincerely believe the reasons Corypheus gained such a reputation for being absent in the story are because most players have only played the mage route

Everything involving Therinfal Redoubt. The Envy demon, the mind prison, Cole's introduction (a far improvement over his intro in the mage route), the slow and natural revelation of the Venatori's ultimate goals (as a opposed to "i accidentally got chucked into the future but some time goo and here's everything i was able to learn for the whole Hour I was there"), Ser Barris my beloved <3

Depending on how you play it obviously, but there's an argument to be made that dissolving the Templars may do more good and result in more lasting change than freeing the Circles, seeing as the idea of the circles, as an academic space for mages to learn to control their powers, was never really the issue and oppression and abuse of the Templars is the true root of the problem. YMMV here though

As mentioned in a previous point, no time magic! this streamlines a lot of the storytelling imo, and makes for an INCREDIBLY CRUNCHY introduction to Dorian, who shows up at Haven and, since he's allowed to talk like a normal person and not a Spirit of Compassion, brings a very intense energy to the scene. Imo this works best if this is your very first time meeting him, as in you never went to Redcliffe and never had to deal with the Headache that is Alexius, the character assassination of Fiona, and the illogic inherent to Time Magic

The Templar route is just better integrated into the rest of the story. Cassandra's personal quest where they mention the Lord Seeker's been replaced by a demon? That no longer feels like it came out of left field, we literally saw that and so this quest feels like payoff. Leliana gets more time to shine doing Spymaster Things so her personal quest about being More Than A Tool feels more impactful. The Inquisition being an organization that scares the Chantry makes more sense because we stole the Chantry's army. The Red Templars no longer feel like a "bad thing made worse for some reason" and instead feel like sad endings for good (or well, i should say "good") people, who could've found a better way with the Inquisition and instead chose to be This. Emprise Du Lion and the Emerald Graves are now completely skippable areas, aside from whatever sidequests you'd like to do there.

Unfortunately, the greatest barrier to entry is justifying the In-Character reasons for your Inquisitor to get help from the Fucking Templars, which is. not ideal. BUT if you can do that, I really truly believe it's the superior route

[beanghostprincess]

Usopp obtaining Conqueror's haki makes so much sense to me and I genuinely think he deserves it on Elbaf please please please

[dustykneed]

Hello! Random whipper snipper! Share a WIP of your work!

ooh, with pleasure. six the musical araleyn fanart? in the year 2k24? more likely than you think xDD

i realize this looks finished, but technically i'm still deciding whether to add a background or not lol. still, for the sake of sharing a proper WIP, here's a line or two from an araleyn brainworm WIP that i started reworking yesterday (mild tw for religious guilt and period-typical internalized homophobia from aragon's pov):

She remembers sharing her bed with Anne at Henry's behest, remembers the nights of tossing and turning and trying not to think about Anne asleep next to her-- remembers waking up to dark hair spilling across her pillow and the press of blood-warm bosoms against her own, softer than sin, as hot as the Devil, remembers lying still as death, mouthing prayers into the heat of Anne's neck like an act of penance.

[saetiate]

gooooood morning !!! ^.^ ooooooh it feels like a bit of a lazy day today for me zzz but i will do my best to get things done!!! i hope you have the strength and capability to get through whatever it is you wanna do today!!!

[mizuribbons]

from my time being in many different fandoms and encountering countless more i have seen a surprising amount of "flower shop with an extremely mentally ill florist who falls in love with a customer" aus. i mean, i see why. it's amazing, and i love this concept, it's just perfect. but also it's pretty fucking specific and there's way more of these than expected.

[raziiyah]

old drawing of mu lia from june

[wikiangela]

wip wednesday

tagged by @theotherbuckley @daffi-990 @tizniz @bidisasterevankinard @dangerpronebuddie @hoodie-buck @aroeddiediaz 💖

I'm jumping between wips and ships so much rn, but trust me, it's even more chaotic in my brain like at all times lol it's so annoying

wasn't gonna post today but I figured I'd share a bit of the cheating fic bc I moved my self-imposed deadline to middle of may and istg I'm not moving it again so I need motivation to finish this lmao

(this scene is fighting me ngl, but I need it, and it's just gonna need a lot of editing but for now this is just a rough draft lol)

prev snippet

___

Not breaking the kiss, Eddie shifts, throwing his leg over Buck’s lap, straddling him, and Buck’s hands immediately wrap around his hips, bringing him closer, as close as possible, just needing Eddie closer. Eddie gasps when their crotches collide, and breaks the kiss, Buck’s lips moving to Eddie’s neck.

“Buck.” Eddie whispers. “Buck, we- we should talk.” Eddie tries, but one of his hands is tangled in Buk’s hair, holding on tight. Buck stills his movements, looks up at Eddie and sees reluctance in his face. He’s not sure if it’s reluctance to stop or continue, and he needs to know for sure, would never want Eddie to feel pressured in any way. They have no alcohol to blame this time, after all.

“If you want to, let’s stop, and we can talk.” Buck says, voice a little shaky as he adds, “But we can always talk tomorrow?”, knowing this is a very bad decision, once again. He’s looking at Eddie’s face and sees something complicated, a conflict, a battle with himself. His eyes roam over Buck’s face, lingering on his eyes, then lips, then back to eyes. In the end, some part of Eddie wins, or loses, and he captures Buck’s lips with his own again.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @thebravebitch @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck

@eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life

@diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @weewootruck

@loveyouanyway @spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff

@spotsandsocks @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @nmcggg @rogerzsteven @hippolotamus

@giddyupbuck @sunshinediaz @honestlydarkprincess @underwaterninja13 @exhuastedpigeon

@911-on-abc @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @buddieswhvre @fortheloveofbuddie

@diazsdimples @your-catfish-friend

[pynkhues]

I’m confused by what you mean when you say that Lestat was “cast out of the house” after the drop in 1.05, as this is not what the show tells us. Lestat left of his own will — he wasn’t thrown out. He beat Louis half to death and then ran away, as evidenced here — “Lestat had disappeared after that awful night. Vanished out of a profound sense of shame he would later confess to” (Louis, 1.06). Louis was in no fit state to throw anyone out of anywhere: as mentioned previously, Lestat had just beaten him half to death.

Apologies if I’m misinterpreting, but in instances like this you seem to paint Lestat as a somewhat of a victim — poor Lestat, banished from his house by his uncaring, domineering husband — when in actuality he was anything but a victim. He was the aggressor, the perpetrator of horrific intimate partner violence, and so to twist the narrative to imply that he was hard done to leaves a very sour taste in my mouth. 

Another instance of this is in your Byronic Hero post, where you suggest that Louis “decides when Lestat gets to live at Rue Royale”, in reference to him being “one of the monsters who’s controlling the household”. We’re talking about someone that has just spent months recovering from a brutal attack by their partner; Lestat chooses to not return because he is ashamed and he knows that Louis has not forgiven him. Louis is not forcing anything on him — and he certainly doesn’t have the power to keep Lestat from RR.

Can you understand why assertions like these are problematic? I understand you wanting to explore the push-pull power dynamic between L&L, but in doing so you seem to be missing the essential through-line in 1.06, which is that Louis and Claudia cannot leave while Lestat lives. Any power they may have once held is overshadowed by Lestat’s absolute control of the household, so to place Louis on level with Lestat as “one of the monsters controlling the household” is at best misguided, and at worst displays an unsettling disregard for victims of IPV. 

(x)

I mean, with all due respect, anon, you're responding to a series of tags I wrote last night that I specifically said I would later clarify and better articulate, so I'm not surprised you're confused and yes, you are misinterpreting me (again, I suspect, as I think you may have sent me asks like this before). I've been clear for months now that the drop is a singular act of violence on this show, and it's not one that I'd ever diminish or underwrite, and as a result, this feels like a pretty bad faith read of something I've both spoken about already and explicitly said I would be talking about again soon. Instead of paying me the respect I extend to all of you by giving me the time to reply in the way I've signalled I would, you've used my tags to make assumptions about what I will say and frankly made some pretty unkind accusations as to my character.

It takes me time and energy to write up replies, particularly replies on this sort of topic that require greater attunement, sensitivity and nuance than others. It's something I do for free, and at the sacrifice of other things in my life, and it's something I do with my name attached, unlike anons. And look, I enjoy doing it - I do - but if you follow me, you should know that my sister - a survivor of recent IPV and her two small children are currently staying with me, after I was a witness in her courtcase against her ex-husband in October - real people, not fictional characters - something I've also been open about, and so you telling me that I have an 'unsettling disregard for victims of IPV' feels like a particularly cruel thing to say to me right now.

I will answer the other anon's ask, as I said that I would, but I'll do it in my own time, and in the meantime, I'd ask that you perhaps don't put words in my mouth or mount arguments to things you yourself say you are confused about or feel you could be misinterpreting. I'll clarify, again, as I said that I would.