#fic: got a girl at home (but I love the way you taste)

[madridfangirl]

Star crossed lovers (Jude Bellingham fic)

Chapter 20

(Series Link)

Jude * female reader. Mature Language in parts.

Synopsis: A chance encounter in a tiny Madrid cafe with the newest superstar of her fav club. The two couldn't be more different, yet both feel the pull toward the other. Would this girl be the one he finally falls for? Or would life come in the way of these star-crossed lovers?

...............................................................................

Love. Oh, what a wonderfully intoxicating feeling it was.

Jude had never been in love before. Having another person so deeply influence your happiness, peace and centre of gravity was an alien feeling at first. But eventually, as the months passed, he got so addicted to the highs that the lows were well worth it. Six months into their relationship, being with her had become second nature to Jude. At times, the attachment scared him too, especially when she wasn’t around and he missed her like hell, but one hug from her was all the balm he needed. Mostly, he was glowing under her love.

Ananya had been in love before. But this felt different - deeper, more passionate, more intense, more consuming. And definitely far higher stakes. The doubts of their complicated situation never really left her, not fully. Especially on some tough nights when their realities came to a head. But Jude had a way of pulling her back to him every single time. All her worries tended to wash away under his smile, his puppy eyes, his constant reassurances, his heartfelt praises and proclamations of love. Even her worst fears were losing to the depth of his feelings. He had well & truly shattered almost all the walls she had built around herself. And made his way into her heart, mind, soul and body. Claiming them all decisively. Making her his, and keeping her as his. And boy had he swept her off her feet.

Roma and Jobe had front row seats to their journey, serving as external voices of reason when they were too drowned in each other to realise what was happening.

‘You’re practically living together now, you see that right?’

‘What? That’s rubbish.’

Ananya dismissed the thought immediately, going back to her Wordle. Roma and her were plopped on her bed, enjoying a lazy Saturday afternoon after ages. Jude was out of town for an away game.

‘Yeah? Let’s see.’

Roma got up from the bed with purpose. Something about her tone & stride making Ananya put her phone down & take notice.

She opened Ananya’s cupboard and pointed at one full cabinet stuffed with Jude’s things.

‘It’s just for convenience, so he doesn’t throw things around the room.’

‘Hmm.’

Roma went to the adjoining washroom, carrying out one basket filled with Jude’s toiletries. It was bigger than Ananya’s.

‘You know how he is. If he doesn’t find the specific product he’d bring the house down or send Agnes scampering for it. Just for conve…’

‘…convenience you say? Sure. I’m guessing your stuff would be in his room too, for convenience?’

‘….yeah.’

‘And that particular brand of sugarless pancake batter in the kitchen, those cereals that taste like mud, all that healthy vegan crap that you & I hate, is there for convenience too?’

Ananya averted her eyes, unsure of what to say. Or feel.

‘When he’s not here, you’re there. If you both are in Madrid and have time on your hands, you’re always joined at the hip. That’s called living together.’

Realisation set in for Ananya, followed by panic. She grabbed Roma’s hand & pulled her to the bed.

‘Is this…wrong?’

Roma’s tone softened immediately, looking at her friend’s state, knowing that the point had hit home.

‘Why should it be wrong? But it’s serious. And intense. And maybe a bit faster than what I would have done. But hey, to each his own yeah? Just want you to be aware that you’re in deep waters now, my friend. And maybe you should talk to Jude about it.’

Ananya nodded aimlessly. The idea of talking to Jude about this was unnerving. The dreaded conversation of where they were and where it was heading and if they were moving too fast. So she put it on the back burner for now, letting things unfold at their own pace.

Similarly, Jobe was amused to see his erstwhile ‘player’ brother turn more & more into what he called a ‘lovesick puppy.’

‘Say what now?’

‘You heard me.’

‘What do you know? You’re practically a child.’

‘I’m 18, bro.’

‘Exactly.’

‘More relationship experience than you. Just saying.’

‘Teenage relationship.’

‘Still counts.’

‘Whatever, you’re wrong.’

‘Yeah? So you didn’t discard last event’s outfit, custom-made by your stylist, just coz your girlfriend didn’t like it?’

‘She’s got taste. Picked me, yeah? So what if I listen to her opinion sometimes?’

‘What happened to having ‘uniquely distinct fashion choices that others are too stupid to understand’? At least that used to be the house line?’

‘She’s not others.’

‘Precisely my point.’

‘You have no point.’

‘Whipped.’

‘Shut up you loon.’

‘So you’re saying keeping the beard was your choice?’

The beard had been a sore point between Jude & Ananya. She liked him in the goatee but when he graduated to a beard she was thrilled. She had never been a fan of facial hair but she claimed that the beard suited Jude so so much. Plus she found it super sexy, which Jude always cashed in when he needed to. When he randomly moved back to the goatee one fine day, she just looked him up & down & didn’t kiss him like she used to. Didn’t wrap her arms around his neck when he kissed her, like she used to. That night, she didn’t deny him his tumble but didn’t doll up for him like she used to. He got the message, without her saying a word. He kept pestering her if she didn’t like it and she said it should be his choice. She shouldn’t have a say here. But he knew it was bullshit. She obviously had a preference and this was a passive aggressive way of showing it. Jude complained that it was discrimination and she was indirectly influencing his choice by using her sexuality. She retorted that she hadn’t denied him in any way that night and he shot back saying that she hadn’t invited him either, like she used to, especially after a difficult away game where he scored the winner. This half-hearted passion was unlike what they were accustomed to. The spark, the heat was not the same, coz she was not the same. And she simply said she couldn’t help it since she was ‘mourning his beard.’ Jude wanted to turn around and call her over-dramatic but decided not to, choosing to play the long game & not get kicked to the couch.

Her reaction to a clean-shaven look was far worse. Jude had to do it for a shoot and she refused to be anywhere near him, saying he looked like a child and she didn’t want any funny business when he had that babyface. She even tried to put a pillow between them when they went to bed, which Jude had to practically wrestle away. No amount of whining, cajoling or begging from him made her budge. That night, Jude realised he was in love with someone who could be as obstinate as him when she wanted to.

In an unfortunate moment, he had shared all this with his useless brother. 

‘Never telling you anything else from now on.’

‘Pls you’ll die without babbling to me.’

‘Oh fuck off.’

Jobe ignored that completely. 

‘Gonna change the trim too?’

Jude sighed. She didn’t like his hair too finely cut on the sides, said he looked bald under that hat. But net net she loved the overall trim. So he had decided to stand his ground here & keep the sides as is.

‘None of your fucking business.’

‘Gotta give her her flowers though - not a mean thing to have THE JUDE BELLINGHAM wrapped around her little finger.’

‘Should I tell her you said that?’

‘Go ahead. She’s cool & she adores me.’

‘Then why being a dick with me?’

‘Coz it’s fun. And you’re too thick to see it on your own.’

‘Bye now.’

Jude did see what he meant; his brother had used those words just to tease him. And he needed Jobe to show him that mirror at times, like he had done to make Jude realise his feelings for her in the first place. Yes Jude had fallen deep, he could see it well & clear now. But the perks of this phase he was in far outweighed any minor inconveniences. They meant nothing when she smiled & embraced him with so much affection that he could practically feel his heart burst with warmth. Much to his own surprise, he was loving being in love.

However, the relationship had not been a bed of roses, like any other couple.

The pressure of his job was not easy to deal with. Jude & his family still had 4+ years to get used to this limelight & stress, yet even for them Madrid had been astronomically different. Ananya never imagined or wished for such a life, so it was even harder for her.

When the weight of the world was on his shoulders before a big game or a big event in his professional life, she felt the burden too. When all eyes turned on him, trying to tear him apart for some behaviour or the other, or for a red/yellow card (sometimes undeserved), she felt the sting too. 

When his injuries took a toll on his body, she felt the pain too. The shoulder & ankle ones had been particularly brutal - he had to miss matches, undergo intrusive treatments and sulk on the couch while his team carried on without him. Finding a balance between understanding his situation & comforting him had been tricky - Jude had flipped out on a few such occasions when she had tried to tell him it was ok. Coz it was anything but that for him. Later, he did apologise (after silent treatments from her) for taking out his frustration on her but she realised this was not sustainable & they had to find a solution.

With time, she was getting a better handle on his moods. When he wanted to be reassured - with comforting words or warm hugs. When he wanted to just be left alone. When it was better for his mother or brother to handle the situation instead. When he just needed company and wanted to sort out his head on his own, while laying on her chest and playing with the hem of her top absentmindedly. When he needed a mindless carnal release, as an outlet for his stress, which she allowed because generally their intimacy wasn’t mindless. He was a complicated man, under severe pressure, so she gave him a fair bit of leeway. 

She had also learnt to not offer unsolicited advice on his game too much, which sometimes she was tempted to do as an ardent fan. She might disagree with his brashness or arrogance on the pitch at times but that’s what made him him. Without that earth-shattering confidence, he would not be a galactico at Madrid at 20. So she only shared her POV on these things when he specifically asked her, or when she felt things were going overboard. Jude once told her that’s exactly how Denise treated him as well, though his Mum was probably more gentle in her interventions while Ananya took him to the cleaners at times, saying he needed that.

Jude recognised that she did more in finding this balance between them than he did, and that she could have easily stayed on the sidelines and not be so emotionally invested in his professional highs or lows. But she did it out of love. 

He loved her love for football and Madrid. Loved discussing & watching games with her, like he did with his family, teammates & friends from back home. Well, mostly. Sometimes he wished she didn’t understand as much and would be that girlfriend who just fawns over him unconditionally, no matter what he did. ‘Go find yourself a clueless bimbo then’ was her instant response when he joked about it once. Coz she was never going to be that & she made sure he understood that damn well. 

Jude had also realised that while he could often take a lot of liberties with her, and she’d let him, but when she drew a firm line it was set it stone. He didn’t tease her or mess with her when she got in such zones or such moods, which were rare but not too rare also. 

Work and family were two such no-go areas. She had no sense of humour when it came to those. If she was talking with her folks back home or on a work-call, even late-night, that space was sacrosanct and she did not like any histrionics there. Jude had spent a few nights laying next to her, waiting for her to wrap up work, but sometimes it spilled over & he had to go to bed unfulfilled. She’d feel guilty, offer to work from the living room so it doesn’t disturb him but he’d tell her he’d rather sleep with her next to him than be alone. 

Her family still didn’t know about him, barring one cousin, who was quite ambivalent about him being in her sister’s life. So he was absolutely not allowed to yap from behind if she was calling home. Jude didn’t understand why it was so sensitive for her; she was an independent 20 year old adult living far away from home. She had tried to explain how India was culturally different from how Jude had grown up. Her family was not conservative, not by any means, but even then, being in a relationship with a) a non-Indian and b) a high-profile footballer would be a massive shock for them and it needed to be dealt with carefully/gradually. 

Another touchy topic for her was anything perceived to be threatening her individuality / independence. 

One morning, sprawled on her bed, Jude had half-jokingly cribbed about the dress she had put on, calling it too distracting for work. It wasn’t revealing or anything, that wasn’t her style, but it was well fitted and complimented her figure beautifully. Ananya thought it was aesthetic and Jude just wanted to rip it off. The way she had swirled around and told him he had no business telling her what she was supposed to be wearing, Jude would never forget that look. He had immediately raised both hands in surrender, trying to explain it was a silly joke, but boy she had been pissed that day. It took Jude a while to recover from that fiasco. 

Another faux-pas he had walked into was when she took a rare girls night with Roma and a few colleagues from work. The couple had narrowly missed each other a few times that week so Jude was more than disappointed when she told him she was out instead of coming over to his. He had half-expected to see her at his place when he returned late from a shoot; sometimes she surprised him like that. 

‘Oh baby, I’ll see you soon, promise.’

She had slurred on the line when he called her, half-drunk. 

‘I needed you today. I thought you’d be here today.’

‘I wanted to see you too. But I didn’t know when you were getting done. And we were trying to get together for over a month, tonight was the first time all of us had a window. So came for a movie & now dinner.’

‘But what about us? What about me?’

‘Soon, promise.’

‘Will you come tonight?’

‘Jude, I can’t just take off on my friends like this.’

‘Why the hell not?’

The sheer entitlement & frustration in his voice set her off, like she owed him all her time. Oh the gall of him.

‘I’m not gonna be at your beck and call whenever you need me. I thought you understood that.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘You heard me. I wanted to dress up & let my hair down & dine at a fancy place & not be cooped up in the house for a change.’

That felt like a harsh slap in the face. She could have done all those things with him. He could have taken her to the fanciest of places, anywhere in the world, if only she’d let him.

‘Cooped up in the house yeah? Who’s that because of?’

Her. It was because of her. She didn’t want to go public with him, wasn’t ready for all the drama. Not yet. He knew why. He knew it very well. So she was stunned when he weaponised that & threw it in her face.

‘I’m not your fucking property, Jude. If you wanna act like a child, be my guest. But you better watch your tone when you talk to me.’

She hung up, and Jude stared at the phone, not knowing what hit him. When his anger subsided (took a while) and he revisited the conversation in his head, he grudgingly understood where he had fucked up. She didn’t react like this when he wanted to chill with his teammates or have a boys night with his lads from back home. So he really didn’t have a leg to stand on here. Plus he could have done better with his tone. But he missed her. He just missed her like hell.

All night, her phone kept buzzing with messages, and she knew who it was from but she didn’t spare it a look, not for a few hours.

‘Sorry.’

‘Missing you.’

‘Didn’t mean it like that.’

‘Talk to me for a min? Just wanna hear your voice.’

‘Pls don’t be mad.’

‘Love you.’ 

‘Ping me once?’

She let him suffer that night, before going back to his place the next day. They made up, like they always did, tangled in the sheets. And Jude learnt a very important lesson - she would give him the sun & the moon if he appealed to her love for him, if he asks nicely. Respect, chivalry and understanding were the keys to unlock her, not confrontation or domination. Well, domination worked sometimes too, but she needed to be in the zone for it.

And they found that zone quite often. Intimacy and passion was at the heart of their relationship.

Jude loved exploring with her. Pushing her boundaries bit by bit. Breaking down her walls gradually but decisively. Uncovering layers to their intimacy. Cataloguing all the breathless sounds she made for him. The way her eyes rolled back in their socket as she writhed under him. Every little twitch of her face, the frenzied moves of her body. Her total and absolute surrender to him was intoxicating - like a rare, potent, lethally erotic drug. Every time he had her, it spurred him on to have more. He just couldn’t get enough of her.

He was also a shameless flirt, which he never denied or shied away from. Always checking her out, never in dearth of lines to use.

‘Thinking of those tiny blue shorts that flaunt your ass.’

‘Get some rest now. Gonna binge on your minge when I get home.’

She was used to these messages out of nowhere, and him invading her personal space without any prior warning.

Ananya was shocked to discover how much she wanted him too. The thrill she felt every time he touched her. How he had mapped all her sensitive spots & played them like a fiddle. The way his beard tickled & teased her skin. She could read his intent well now - through his deeply expressive eyes, the way his voice turned huskier when he was in the mood, how his hands wandered on her body or slipped under her clothes, how his lips lingered on her skin for a few extra seconds, his his breath grazed her neck, and sometimes even by the tone of his texts. She could tell if it was going to be a long & slow kinda night or a rough, rapid, intense bout where she’d need to hide the marks next day. Much to her surprise, she looked forward to both. Jude had introduced her to the latter. Initially she was hesitant, wanting to do it for him. But now, she welcomed him making her body his playground. Using his height & strength advantage to toss her around. Having her hands pinned over her head or behind her. Being on her hands & knees. Bent over the counter. Tied to the headboard. Pressed up against a wall. Thrown over his shoulder. Being bounced manically as he took her standing, without any support, using his ridiculous arm strength, while she clung to him for dear life. In this territory, she didn’t mind his aggression & control. And while she couldn’t match up to his impossible stamina or voracious appetite, she did meet him half way.

She liked dressing up for him too - a section of her closet reserved for such occasions. And that section only grew larger, some by her doing and a lot by his. But it kept depleting also, ripped & torn off fervently, depending on his restraint or lack of it. 

Jude was used to taking the lead in bed, and he relished it. But he could also now tell when she was in the zone, trying to seduce him subtly. The way she leaned into his side. How she pressed her front into his chest or back, letting him feel her curves. How she batted her lashes at him, while wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a soft, deep kiss, moaning into his mouth. How she sat into his lap, moving in a way that was sure to get him excited. How she bit her lip, while moving her hands over his body, feeling his muscles. How her neckline was extra deep some nights, giving him a plump view of her cleavage. How much his sweaty glistening skin, from matches or workouts, turned her on. In most cases, he took the cue & took her up on her offer. But sometimes, he liked to hear her say it out loud. On those nights, he tormented her slowly, playing with her, keeping her on the edge till she screams it out. Only then he’d relent & smile victoriously, burying himself in her warm, inviting heat & rocking them to ecstasy. 

He loved branding her with his marks, and enjoyed her efforts the following morning to cover them up thoroughly. 

‘Why bother so much?’

‘Anyone would.’

‘I don’t.’

‘Any decent person would.’

Jude never cared when her nail marks on his back / biceps were visible during training or in the locker room. He just laughed them off when other folks teased him. Most of his teammates were like that, barring a few shy ones like Arda. Special teasing was reserved for the shy ones.

The winter clothes were a big help to her, for now.

‘What will you do in the summer?’

‘Discipline you.’

‘Good luck with that.’

Jude was spontaneous, but he liked the anticipation of planned trysts too. As did she. Especially during role-plays (another aspect she was shocked to discover that she loved). 

His favourite such night was Valentine’s Day. Jude had pulled out all the stops that night to make it special - dressing in the black turtleneck that she was crazy about, decorating the living room (with red heart-shaped balloons but hey, he tried), ordering her favourite ravioli from a high-end Michelin star restaurant and a bottle of some very fine red wine which he knew she’d enjoy. Those were his gifts for her. As his gift, he wanted to see her in Indian attire. More specifically as an Indian new bride. Since he had seen that photo of her in a sari, this had been an open demand from him, and Valentine's Day seemed like the perfect occasion for it.

When she came down the stairs, dressed in a sleeveless v-neck cream blouse, red chiffon saree, open brown hair sliding down her back, cream heels, golden jewellery (bangles, choker necklace, earrings) and a fucking waist chain, Jude felt like he had died and gone to heaven. He stood frozen, unable to take his eyes off of her as she glided in front of him, waving her soft hands to get his attention.

Dinner was long forgotten. Every fucking thing faded in the background. His world revolved around this sorceress who had just made his brain short-circuit. 

‘Earth to Jude, are you there?’

‘Naa he’s dead. You killed him. Mercilessly.’

Jude took her hand and twirled her slowly, taking in the full 360* view. She obliged playfully, flipping her hair for effect, as his eyes roamed over her form & the way that sinful garment hugged her at all the right places, accentuating her curves, particularly that round behind. His hands rested on her bare waist while her henna-painted ones went to his shoulders. Jude loved the smell of it, inhaling deeply.

‘Some things are different?’

‘Yeah. I couldn’t put the sindoor and mangalsutra - only married women can wear that.’

‘Not even for one night?’

‘No, it’s inauspicious.’

‘The bangles are different too?’

‘Yeah. The ones you saw are called chooda. Again, only a married woman wears that, for a few weeks after the wedding.’

‘Hmmm.’

‘You don’t like it like this?’

Jude looked at her like she had suddenly grown horns, thoroughly shocked at the comment, and she got her answer. Next second, she felt his large hand cupping her butt, pulling her close, moving slightly against her to let the bulge do the talking. 

She glanced at the food longingly, then looked into his hungrier eyes, and relented. Without wasting any time, Jude picked her up and carried her bridal style up the stairs. He had considered the couch but tonight he needed the bed to properly enjoy her. Her sari was first to go, followed by her petticoat, panties & jewellery, only the waist chain stayed on (he was fascinated with it), along with her anklets. 

Removing the sari was quite an experience. He pulled at it with force, spinning her around with ease as the garment slid off her body. While she tried to slow him down wherever it was held together with pins. She would have giggled at it, if he didn’t look like he wanted to eat her alive then & there. 

Ananya shuddered on the bed underneath him as he licked down her face, lapping at her ruby painted lips, dipping into her mouth briefly for a quick taste, trailing down her neck into her cleavage, while pulling apart the threads holding her blouse together. There was silence tonight, only the sounds of their heavy breathing & her soft gaps cutting through the tension, along with Jude’s intermittent grunts.

He pulled at the waist chain with his teeth, inserting his tongue into her bellybutton and she nearly leapt off the bed, moaning his name wildly, his weight on top serving as her anchor. Jude was struggling to rein in his lust, and that served as the final straw. Pinning her hands on either side of her, he entered her fully in two precise thrusts, making her head spin and her toes curl.

‘J-Jude..’

‘Shhhhh.’

What followed was the most unhinged she had ever seen him. He was painfully hard already, so he went straight for her secret spot, hitting it repeatedly to get her pleasure to build rapidly, matching his own state, while his mouth devoured her sensitive peaks. Sucking with such fervour as if willing them to lactate. When she shut her eyes at the sensations, he bit the underside of her boob, a silent command to not hide from him. Gasping, she locked eyes with him, mouthing a silent ‘easy, jaan’ as he slid his teeth to her hardened nubs, tugging at them.

Jude was gone tonight. The bed creaked violently under them. It was an overwhelming intensity, so much that she could almost feel him in her throat. Ananya struggled under his hold to release her wrists. The more she struggled, the tighter his grip got, sure to leave bruises. She squirmed in vain as he continued his two-pronged assault, via his mouth & nether regions, taking her closer & closer to the edge. She willed her body to comply, knowing that he won’t let go before she did, and came screaming his name with a pointed, decisive stroke, shuddering uncontrollably underneath him. He didn’t relent, keeping up his pace through it, chasing his own high but it was too much & she had to use the safe word.

Jude paused, let go of her wrists, slowly returning to his senses. Still buried inside, he crawled up her spent form, caressing her face with the back of his fingers till she finally opened her eyes.

‘Hey.’

She just blinked at him. Jude lifted her palm, kissing the bruised wrist, trailing his lips down her arm and pecking the corner of her mouth. She hummed in content, as he repeated that with the other arm, wrapping both around his neck.

‘Breathe doll, nice & easy.’

He cooed softly. And she followed like clockwork, cupping his face, connecting their foreheads. Still hyper-aware of his hard, thick length inside her.

‘I love you.’

He whispered the magic words against her lips, and she sighed deeply.

‘Just a bit more, yeah? Can you do it for me princess?’

She would do anything for him if he held her like that. 

‘Okay….okay.’

Jude grabbed a pillow & placed it under her back to turn her upwards, and changed to his preferred angle, as her legs dangled around his back. Her hands massaged his shoulders and upper arms, calming him down, slowing him down too, wordlessly. She continued to trace his face with her fingers, as he groaned gutturally, reaching his high. For minutes after, he just stayed inside (something he had started doing more & more) and on top. 

When he finally rolled away, and she regained her breath thinking they could do down for their meal now, Jude had a different kind of meal cooking in his head. He sprinted downstairs to fetch the bottle of wine, and dragged her naked form to the shower, washing her, drinking the rich, rare wine off her body. Spilling it down her neck then licking it off her curves. Then repeating it on her back, drinking it off the curve of her hips. Pouring it from his mouth into hers, so she could taste him along with the wine. Turning her red in more ways than one. Later, he went down on her, making her see stars while she also worked up the nerves to use her hands on him (for the first time). His takeover of her senses and body was absolute tonight, and the colour never left her face. She hid under the blanket later, unable to meet his eyes, once her mind recovered enough to process their activities. Jude cajoled his way under the blanket, cooing into her ear, spooning her from behind, showering praises in that silky smooth voice as to how this was the best night of his life, and how she had been an absolute goddess. How she was made for him. They had their dinner in bed, and then crashed to a much needed sleep. 

Condoms were antiquated history for Jude now. From the very beginning, since she got on the pill and he got a taste of what skin-to-skin feels like, he simply refused to go back, like his whole life had been a lie. Even on some rushed occasions, when there wasn’t enough window to clean up the mess later, he whined & reasoned to not have to put one on, only relenting when she absolutely put her foot down. But the frequency and intensity of their escapades always left a silent fear in the back of her head. The fear came alive one morning, when she realised she was two days late for her cycle.

It hit her like a truck. She never got late (barring some rare occasions involving health, stress etc), so the panic was in full swing. Ananya barely got through the day at work, mechanically finishing her tasks and confiding in Roma in the evening on their way back. She had iced out Jude all day, undecided on how to deal with him or what to even tell him right now. But the nosy detective that he was (especially when it came to her), he figured something was off and landed at her place unannounced later that evening. By then, Roma had almost convinced her to take a pregnancy test, while she cried into her arms on how her whole life was ending.

Jude was alarmed to see her state, and both girls were confused what to tell him. Roma suggested it maybe best if he comes back later but Jude absolutely refused, looking straight at Ananya, who was looking everywhere but at him. He could’t take it anymore & just held her tightly in his arms.

‘Dove, it’s me. What can’t you tell me? What’s gotten you like this?’

She just let her body go, resting against him, sniffling a little into his sweatshirt. Roma left the room to give them some space. A thousand horrible thoughts hit Jude simultaneously. 

‘Has something happened? Did someone…hurt you? Baby pls I’m dying out here.’

He titled her face up, staring straight into her eyes.

‘I’m….late.’

It took him a few seconds to understand what she meant. And the world came crashing down on him too. Ananya was nervous about his reaction, but somehow those fears were proven unwarranted. Because he quickly got into a problem solving mode, getting over the initial shock.

‘You used the pill daily right? You even had the app.’

‘Yes.’

‘So we’re going to be fine. Take the test, I’m waiting here.’

‘But what if we’re not? What if…..’

‘Babe, let’s not speculate. Let’s take the test first yeah?’

‘I’m scared.’

Well, he was scared too, but he was steady for her in that moment.

‘I’m here. I’ve got you.’

‘Why aren’t you freaking out?’

‘Coz looking at you I thought it was something much worse. This, we can handle.’

The next few minutes were the longest of her life. Ananya couldn’t breathe till the result came out negative. She refused to even look at the stick, Roma checked it and broke the news to her. And finally she stopped hyperventilating. Jude ordered some blueberry cheesecake and ravioli, which she hogged, having starved herself under stress all day. Once the storm had settled down, and they were lying in bed together, scrolling through Netflix to pick a new show, Jude made a joke. At least he thought it was funny.

‘So you thought I could break even the pill yeah?’

She turned to look at his smirking face filled with a weird sense of cockiness.

‘You find this funny? No seriously is this a joke to you? Are you proud of your vigorous masculinity?’

Once again, he didn’t know what hit him, feeling like a proper fool for inviting this onslaught. 

‘I was just…’

‘Just what? What if it was positive, huh? But you wouldn’t have to lift a finger even then. I would have to go through the procedure, and I bet you have no idea how painful it is. Did you study biology in school? Or did you only hear till the point of sex and nothing after? Not the consequences? Not what comes after all your fun? Such a typical guy.’

Jude was sitting with his head down, like a schooled kid.

‘Am sorry, I really didn’t know it was painful.’

‘….I would have to tell at home, coz how could I keep something so major from them? But sure, you go ahead & make your jokes. Seriously the universe if so unfair - I wish you guys had to go through half the things we do. If your bodies had to bear the brunt of all your fetishes. But no - even god is unfair to women. So what can I even expect from men like you?’

Without giving him a chance to respond, she stormed off the bed and slammed the door of the washroom to take a shower to cool down. While Jude simply stared after her.

Roma was standing in the doorway, shaking her head slowly at the mess, leaning against the side. She had come to check on Ananya after listening to all the commotion.

‘Maybe the club should take IQ tests along with medical tests before signing players?’

Jude gave her a half-hurt half-dirty look.

‘Gee thanks. What an awesome friend you are.’

‘You’re welcome. Now try not to dig a deeper hole for yourself & call me when she comes out.’

Jude stuck his tongue out at her and she simply waved him off while walking away.

When Ananya came out after 30 mins, smelling like strawberries from her shower, dressed in a comfy fluffy pink bathrobe, Jude simply hugged her from behind, keeping his chin on her shoulder, rubbing his cheek against hers, slowly swaying her in his hold, whispering in her ear how he was her silly baby. She gave in soon, because one needed to be a battle-hardened soldier to stay mad at that face for long. And she couldn’t see him sad, especially when it was her doing; a fact he knew & exploited with impunity. But she did keep him at an arm’s length for a few days after, still spooked by what nearly happened, and Jude has to slowly claw his way back under the sheets.

Thankfully, that had been the only pregnancy scare so far. And Jude never whined after that whenever Ananya suggested using a condom.

Passion was a cornerstone of their relationship. But it surprised Jude how much he craved her otherwise too. How much her proximity (or lack of it) impacted his mood.

Ananya thoroughly revelled in their domestic moments. The little things he did for her, almost instinctively now. All the sweet treats that came his way through events, sponsorships etc were passed on to her & Roma. As did some exclusive club merchandise, which both the girls simply loved donning. Pre-match & post-match messages from her was a ritual between them, irrespective of the result. As were the late night calls, when he was out for away games or international break. Jude never missed sending her flowers every week; by now Ananya had seen almost all varieties discovered by mankind since Jude’s brief to the florist was to send new ones every time. On the two rare occasions that he missed it, he sent extra large ones to her office to make up for it.

‘I know what you’re doing.’

‘And what’s that?’

‘Using this to re-establish to folks here that I’m taken.’

‘Calling me smart?’

‘Calling you ruthless.’

‘Love it.’

Weekly movie nights were a norm too, sometimes with the three of them. On most occasions, Roma & Jude acted like long-lost twins, perfectly in sync. On the rare exceptions, they got on each others’ nerves like hell and Ananya had to play referee in the middle, balancing between her boyfriend and best friend. 

The absolute melting point for Ananya was to watch fans respond to Jude, and the love he had already earned in his first season. Watching him with kids practically made her heart do somersaults. And her ovaries burst with anticipation. The feeling was indescribable - the way kids sought him out, clung to him, played with him, laughed with him, idolised him, cried for him - it was just pure & serene, something to be felt only by Jude & those around him. He was special, and the kids’ love was the deepest affirmation possible.

Jude was chronically online whenever he was idle, which meant Ananya often had the most random & diverse messages waiting for her, at ungodly times. Holiday destinations, funny memes, quotes from classics (he was trying out of FOMO since Jobe & Ananya often discussed this at length), football history, Spotify playlists (too much of Elvis for her liking but she never said that out loud), new branded fits, videos from training sessions or matches, pics of lingerie he was planning to buy for her, pics of food he could never eat but lived vicariously when she did, pics of English countryside (he had taken offence when she claimed Switzerland was more picturesque) his selfies, some old photos he had clicked of her & of them together, and many other things. She had learnt never to open his messages in company, because sometimes they ranged from fluffy to downright filthy, and he owned both with pride. 

Probably the trickiest point that they constantly navigated was her feelings on Jude’s previous lifestyle & the ramifications on their current life. After the Christmas fiasco (which had nearly ended them for good), Jude was quite mindful of his behaviour. And overshared with her for good measure even if the situation was borderline tricky - say with a shoot or some DMs or some fan attention. But given how popular & sought after he was with women, the kind of reactions he drew wherever he went, it was never going to be easy for Ananya. He was constantly flooded with propositions, some harmless, some not, and had immense access all the time. His submission was for her to trust that he won’t abuse that access, won’t act on it, simply because he doesn’t need to now that he had her. 

But the aftershock of that Christmas picture was still buried somewhere in her heart; it never truly went away. The lingering doubt never truly went away. In a vulnerable moment, when both of them were slightly tipsy, she brought it up.

‘Do you ever miss aspects of that life? The carefree fun & thrill?’

‘No.’

‘C’mon Jude.’

‘Not at the cost of you.’

To his credit, his stance had always been this. Always consistent. But she chose to push further.

‘Did you ever feel like going back?’

He looked at her with those big eyes, pleading to not pursue it. But she was on a mission tonight.

‘You can tell me. I won’t get mad.’

‘Yeah you’re just saying it. Then you’ll get all weird & distant.’

‘I won’t. Surely there has to be something.’

Jude was torn, but the alcohol had numbed his brain more than usual, as had her soft voice & calming presence. 

‘Like….very early on..,when we were fighting, and that whole asshole episode….when you weren’t…we weren’t….’

‘Sleeping together.’

‘..Yes.’

She had guessed as much. Sex was important to him. But how could she hold that against him when it was true for most men, especially those in his position.

‘I…just thought it’d be easier…less complicated….like maybe I wasn’t cut out for this…not now maybe…the feelings for you were new & confusing….but it was a passing thought…like super brief.’

She heard him out patiently, piecing together what he wasn’t saying, keeping her tone & face neutral, devoid of any judgement.

‘Then why didn’t you?’

‘Act on it?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Coz it was brief…I wasn’t…it wasn’t…’

‘But still.’

‘Because that would mean the end of us. That wasn’t an option. That isn’t an option.’

Her gaze was firm & piercing, trying to break through any potential charade. But she didn’t find any. And he pulled her close, kissing her softly, as she settled on his chest.

Now, Jude could have stayed quiet and could have let this moment pass peacefully. But he ended up yapping more & put his foot in his mouth.

‘Even for stuff you can’t do with your girlfriend, it just wasn’t worth it, y’know.’

She pulled away, crossing her arms, face all analysing again. 

‘Yeah? And what is that stuff that you can’t do with your girlfriend? That you were doing elsewhere?’

Jude was alert now. He wondered if his mum had dropped him on his head as a kid, coz how could he consistently find himself in such situations, of his own doing? Especially when his girlfriend was a lawyer or Sherlock Holmes or a bloodhound in a previous life? How could he be so fucking stupid in front of her?

‘You promised to not get mad.’

‘Not mad. Just curious.’

‘Tell that to your face.’

‘Don’t change the topic, Jude.’

‘Can we pls let this go, Ananya? What good will come of this? We’ll just spoil our night.’

Thing is, his past befuddled her. She absolutely didn’t want to know yet a part of her really wanted to know. Like ripping off a band-aid. And getting through every unpleasant information in one go. So there are no surprises anymore. But she didn’t know how to do it without judging. He believed being single gave him all the freedom in the world and their moral wavelengths just didn’t match at all. It was never going to. So grudgingly, she let it go.

Jude’s abstinence from certain activities, which he was a regular in earlier, was soon noticed by some of his teammates, especially Vini & Cama. And the fact that he was on his phone a lot, with a gooey face (in Cama’s words). They figured it out, and hounded him till he had to come clean. But he didn’t tell them who he was seeing (he wasn’t allowed to), just said there is someone, and showed a quick photo to shut their mouths. Since then, they referred to her as Jude’s girl. 

He had also been selective in introducing Ananya to his teammates. His previous partners-in-crime were nowhere on the list. The memo was clear in his head - committed guys with a clean reputation who will not blab him out.

Brahim and his girlfriend were invited over for lunch. Toni & his wife for coffee. Ananya was cool with Brahim - they got along well quickly and the conversation flowed naturally. But she hyperventilated when she saw Toni, the fan in her dancing a Flamenco inside. Jude kept elbowing her to reduce the pitch of her voice or not blink like a crazy person, but how was she supposed to be normal around one of Madrid’s greatest players ever? The cornerstone of their best years? Toni fucking Kroos. The absolute machine. And she was sitting across him in Jude’s lawn, just like that? Talking about fucking doughnuts? Like seriously?

The moment they walked out the door, she jumped into Jude’s arms and kissed his face all over. Jude balanced her by holding onto her butt, settling on the couch with her in his lap as she continued to put lipgloss marks on his face enthusiastically.

‘I love you I love you I love you I love you I loveeeee youuuuuuu!’

‘Because I got you to Toni?’

‘Yes.’

‘Not for me?’

‘Yeah that too.’

‘Thanks.’

‘Awwiiee my little bean my pumpkin my sweet babu - such a cute boy.’

Ananya was never one to bombard him with multiple nicknames (that was Jude’s territory), so the boy was extra amused at her antics. 

‘I think my baby deserves a special reward for making his girlfriend so so happy.’

Suddenly, the mood shifted. She took off her top slowly, leaving her in a dark pink bra. Jude’s eyes were glued there. And his body immediately responded when she guided his palm to her breasts, letting him play with them as he pleased.

‘The baby agrees.’

Jude pulled it down, and started sucking the soft brown peaks like a starved man. This is how he wished to be welcomed home every night - his girlfriend all pretty & naked for him, serving her tits into his mouth.

‘Not so soon. My turn first.’

Jude groaned loudly when he was removed from his personal fountain of heaven. Her fingers in his hair tugging his head back, craning it up for her.

She smiled and bit softly at his cheekbones, the sharp tip of his nose, his plump lips. She tilted his head further up to kiss along his neck & his sexy AF beard, bite his prominent Adam’s apple (her guilty pleasure), then twisted her head to reach the taut muscles at the back of his neck. He sighed softly all through, loving the attention. It nearly made up for his deprivation, nearly. Plus his hands were still there.

Ananya ended with biting his earlobe softly, whispering seductively in his ear.

‘I see what you’re doing though, how you’re picking the folks. You’re too plain like that.’

Jude’s brain capacity was significantly reduced at this point.

‘I’m plain?’

She rolled her eyes at how offended and confused he sounded. Such vanity!

‘Not your looks, jeez. But your moves, yes.’

‘Huh?’

‘Still wanna meet the others, especially Cama.’

That messed with his mood.

‘No.’

‘Why?’

‘You know why.’

‘Remind me.’

‘You find him more adorable than me.’

‘How do you know that?’

‘Umm because you’ve said it like a zillion times.’

She threw her head back & giggled, slowly pulling his track pants down and sliding one hand inside, earning a desperate moan from him.

‘Maybe.’

‘Then maybe I should tell you about all his extra curricular activities. It’s a long list.’

She batted her eyes at him, tilting her head to the side, unperturbed.

‘Oh, but then I’ll get a sense of your extra curricular activities too, no?’

Jude always avoided this topic like plague; they both knew that. He stared at the sexy menace in his lap, who was out-manoeuvring & check-mating him with ease. How & when did she learn that?

His hand cupped her butt, then spanked it with force. She gasped loudly, surprised at the suddenness.

‘Getting too smart for your own good, little dove.’

‘Smart is my second name.’

Jude lifted her out of his lap & threw her on the couch, getting on top of her. Pinning her down decisively.

‘STOP TALKING ABOUT OTHER MEN WHEN YOU’RE NAKED WITH ME.’

‘Yeah? What are you going to do about it?’

‘Gonna fuck this attitude right out of you.’

Jude grabbed her top from the floor and used it to tie her hands together, behind her. She immediately felt vulnerable, having no line of physical defence anymore. He pressed his bare leaking tip on her belly, enjoying her shudders, then slid it up her body to her tits, pressing into both, settling between them, cupping them with his hands to build friction. The tip hit her chin with each calculated stroke of his. And she knew he wanted nothing more than to shove it into her mouth, something he hadn’t gotten from her yet.

Her helpless whimpers were music to his ears.

‘Not so lippy anymore?’

She could only moan in response. Which turned into a loud gasp when he spread her legs impossibly wide, made a sloppy mess of her core with his mouth, then slapped it lightly, all while rendering her helpless. As if making a point that all of her belonged only to him. That he was taking what was his.

Before she could get any words out, he flipped them to move her on top. For the next 20 mins, he bounced her on himself mercilessly, thoroughly extracting his reward, as she struggled to find any anchor or purchase from the position. 

Exhausted, they snuggled on the couch after, lying side by side, recovering from the impromptu session. Jude lazily played with her hair, while she wondered about the stain they would have left on the pristine white couch.

‘Still can’t believe I just met Toni Kroos.’

Jude gave her a side-eye, expressing his displeasure at this being her first thought, after what they just did. But she squeezed his cheeks in response, which he grudgingly got out of.

‘Wonder what you’ll do if I’ll call someone else…let's say….Zidane?’

She stilled, then turned towards him.

‘Can you?’

Well, he had just said it for fun, he obviously was not on such familiar terms with the great Zizou.

‘Maybe. What will I get then?’

‘What do you want?’

He nibbled on her bottom lip, a naughty smirk plastered on his face.

‘Anything. Everything. However many times I ask for.’

She met his lustful gaze head on, familiar with his game by now.

‘It’s possible. If you bring me you know who.’

‘Ronaldo.’

‘Bingo.

‘Nope.’

‘Why?’

‘You’ll jump on him in front of me.’

‘Pls, I’ll never embarrass myself like that.’

‘Don’t trust you around him.’

‘Nonsense. I might faint or get a heart attack if he knows I exist but I am not gonna jump on him for sure.’

‘You’ll tell him you love him. That he’s your favourite.’

‘I do love him. And he’s my favourite. You know that.’

‘Yeah not gonna happen.’

‘Whatever you’re just a hater.’

She made a face & tried to move away but his grip on her waist tightened.

‘What?’

She could tell he wanted to say something, but was hesitating.

‘Do you love him more than me?’

Jude was nervous about the answer. There is a reason he had waited months to bring this up. 

Colour drained from Ananya’s face. In real time. But she was supposed to be the wordsmith here, she could get out of this.

‘I love him differently and you differently. Chalk & cheese. Can’t be compared.’

‘That’s not what I asked.’

‘Well, your question is flawed.’

She had loved her favourite player for 15-16 years. He was the reason she fell in love with football  and Madrid in the first place. And a part of her died when he left Madrid. Of course she loved him, deeply. It was obvious. What was Jude even asking?

‘Still, answer it.’

‘Jude….’

‘It's him, isn’t it?’

‘I didn’t say that.’

‘So if we draw Portugal in the Euros, you’d root for them to win? Over me?’

‘I…it’s not that simple.’

‘Wow!’

‘I’d probably root for a draw.’

‘And if it’s a knockout? Will my own girlfriend not be in my corner in one of the most important games of my life?’

Jude was throwing the kitchen sink at her - the sad words, the long face, the puppy eyes, the hurt voice, the deflated shoulders. She felt very, very guilty. But she wasn’t going to lie to him.

‘I’m sorry love. Don’t know how to feel about this. Would always want you to do well, obviously, but I can’t also root against him in his last Euros.’

Jude couldn’t believe it, and sulked for a good while after that. She cooked for him & fussed over him for hours, and he eventually cheered up. Because, it was tough for him to stay mad at her too.

Introducing her to his friends from back home was far less complicated. They were coming over for a home game, and Jude invited everyone to his place the next evening to formally introduce them to his girlfriend. 

‘No female friends or girlfriends?’

‘Nope.’

‘All guys?’

‘Yeah. That a problem?’

‘Problem? No. Just too much testosterone energy. Would have been nice to have a girl in the mix.’

Jude laughed so expressively that he nearly dropped the coffee cup on himself.

‘Will remember to be pally with more girls then, just for your sake.’

She chose to ignore that.

‘So, how deeply have they been instructed to not dish out anything about your escapades?’

Very deeply & thoroughly, in a serious tone. Many stories were off limits. Jude was well aware of her ability to connect the dots. 

‘Don’t know what you’re talking about.’

‘Right.’

Ananya was nervous about meeting them. She wondered if they’d like her, given how different their upbringing and cultures were. It had taken Jude also a while to understand her sensibilities.

But Jude didn’t leave her side that evening, his proximity a warm assurance to her. An arm over her shoulder or around her waist, a hand on her lap, or just holding hands with her. He was right there. Explaining an inside joke she didn’t have context on. Or cutting the group’s banter when he thought it was too much / too soon for her. Ananya felt all fuzzy inside when he spoke about her work & pedigree, propping her up as best he could. She loved seeing him in his element too - unguarded, unfiltered, vivacious - with friends who knew him inside out. All his animated goofy antics on full display. 

Whenever Jude couldn’t be around, Jobe was by her side. She had been relieved to know that Jobe was coming over too, and the duo had hung out that afternoon while Jude had been away for training. She had developed her own, easy dynamic with Jobe, outside of being Jude’s brother. Jude often wondered what those two talked about for so long, but never asked either of them. Mostly he was just glad that they had hit it off, coz both were reserved in their own ways, unlike him. 

Jude loved showing her off that evening. Grinning from ear to ear when she dumbed down her work in basic simple words, just for everyone’s benefit. How the group responded to her natural ease & sharp wit. How some were secretly in awe of her confidence & brains, a little bit, Jude could tell. And when they discovered she was a genuine football fan (not pretending to be one to look cool or fit in), the ice broke completely. Many football stories followed after - most involving Jude & some of his ‘not so god-like’ moments on the pitch. She soaked in everything - paying close attention to everyone. Later that night, when the party progressed to some music and Jude put his hands on her, swaying her hips to the tune (as was their routine), there were loud cheers of ‘get a room’. Ananya was flustered, wiggling out of his hold while Jude just laughed & gave them a middle finger. It was a fun night.

Mostly a fun night, barring one unpleasant incident. One of his friends made a somewhat loose remark on Ananya, which Jude overheard. It wasn’t much, could have easily been written off as banter, and frankly wasn’t an uncommon or a new line in their group. He had heard it before. Hell, he had said it before. But this time, it made Jude’s head hot. While others had caught on that this was different for Jude, this particular friend was either too drunk or just daft.

Toby elbowed the said friend, telling him to shut his trap, while Jobe was on Jude’s side, watching his brother, ready to intervene if needed. Jude considered asking Jobe to take Ananya inside, who was helping the housekeeper set up the desserts some distance away, while he deals with the situation. But many eyes turned on him to impress upon him that it wasn’t worth it.

The said friend was apologising profusely, which fell on deaf ears. He eventually decided to not ruin the night, for others, but mostly for her. However, Jude wasn’t going to allow that guy to be anywhere near Ananya.

‘Get out.’

With that, Jude went to find the only person who could calm him down right now. Ananya felt his arm wrap around her waist, more possessive than usual, pulling her into his side. She smiled up at him, but could’t recognise the look on his face. Jobe jogged over, and the brothers exchanged a look. She looked between them, then at Jobe, who gave her a reassuring nod and walked away after patting Jude’s shoulder. While Jude’s hand fidgeted on her waist.

‘Honey, what’s wrong?’

Jude was mad at the guy. But somewhere he was more mad at himself. It was because of who he was, rather who he had been, that the guy was able to take the liberty to make such a comment on her. He was fighting the urge of going after the guy and apologising to her at the same time. His thoughts were in mayhem. His eyes reflecting the storm inside.

Her soft voice & concerned eyes anchored him back, as did her hand gently stroking his chest. When he didn’t say anything, she nudged him down for a soft kiss, breaking her rule of no PDA. Swallowing his irritation. When they parted, Jude smiled at his magical girl, and Ananya led him back to the group. 

That night triggered something in Jude. He wanted to show her off to the world now. Wanted to have her on his arm. Wanted to go out to dinner dates & clubs with her. Wanted to claim her as his girlfriend. Wanted the whole fucking world to know who she belonged to, and what she meant to him. 

The return leg against Manchester City provided the perfect opportunity. She was in London that week for work, 75 mins away from the stadium. When Jude asked her a couple of days before the match, it didn’t go down as he intended. There was silence on the line, and his mood already was in the bin.

‘Will you say something?’

She didn’t know what to say, completely caught off-guard by his question. 

‘I-I don’t know what my schedule would be like. If I’d get done in time for the match.’

‘It’s at night. I can still send the passes and you can come if you get done? You can bring Roma too, I’ll handle the logistics.’

Silence again. Jude was losing patience and cut to the chase.

‘You don’t even wanna try do you?’

‘Jude, it’s not like that. But we shouldn’t rush into this. It’s a massive thing.’

‘6 months. We’ve been together 6 months, Ananya.’

‘I know. But I’m in the middle of this crazy cross-geography deal, and I still have a few MBA interviews lined up for next week. The safe schools, but still. There is so much going on. Maybe we should wait for a better time?’

‘And when would that be?’

‘Jude, we need to plan for this. I’m in the London office right now. How do you think I’d be able to walk into the boardroom with all our directors and clients next day if we actually go through with this? What would they be thinking when I’ll be running through my presentation?’

‘You tell me - what would they be thinking?’

‘They’ll only see me as your girlfriend Jude.’

A 20 yr old frivolous (easy) piece of ass. Not an investment banking analyst specialising in leveraged buyouts. That is, if her MD doesn’t decide to leave her out of the presentation to avoid any drama.

It was his turn to be silent. She could hear his heavy breath while she waited anxiously for a response.

‘Is it so terrible for you to be seen as my girlfriend? Even after all this time?’

His voice was low. Vulnerable. Hurt. How she wished she was there with him right now.

‘Nothing baby. So long as people see me beyond that too. Which is why we need to time this right  -  at work, with my parents - we need to find the perfect tim….’

‘There’s never going to be a perfect time. You’ll have to rip off the band-aid at some point. Given how painful it seems to be for you.’

The truth in his words cut deeply. There was nothing she could say to soothe him, despite knowing he was hurting. She tried, but no words came out, leading to a deafening silence.

He hung up shortly after, with a curt goodnight, and Ananya didn’t know what to do with herself. Sleep eluded both that night. Jude kept to himself during the flight next morning, saying he was tired. The team let him be. He didn’t respond to her messages of good morning or safe travels. Left them on unread all day. Only giving in at night after returning from the stadium. 

The match was next night. He desperately needed some sleep but somehow his body was refusing his command. And he knew the cure to his restlessness - avoiding her was not it. Even his treacherous body didn’t allow it.

He dialled her number, and she picked up in three rings, on her way back to her hotel. It was 11 pm - Jude couldn’t help but check on the route she was taking & how far out she was, only slumping back in bed once he was satisfied with her response. Long silence followed after the pleasantries, which she eventually broke.

‘How was your day?’

‘Shitty as fuck.’

‘Mine too, baby. But it’s such a big day for you & the team tomorrow. Maybe let’s focus on that, yeah? Let’s win tomorrow baby. Think about it - you returning home & knocking out the defending champions, the favourites, on their turf. Avenging last year’s loss. With your family & friends cheering you on. We’ll get to the semis Jude, in your first year. Think how amazing that would be.’

‘You won’t be there.’

‘I’m so sorry, my love. Tell me what can I do to make it up to you and I will. But this can’t be the reason that holds you back tomorrow - I need to see you shine on that pitch. To give your 200% and more. It’s the big occasion, and I need my big game player to show the world what he’s made of. So tell me, what will it take?’

He knew the answer right away. 

‘Come home with me this weekend. To Birmingham.’

Jude had a window after this match and before the international break. He was going home for a few days, she knew that. His parents had asked about meeting her a few times - she had met Jobe & his friends after all, but never the parents. Not even a few times they had been with Jude in Madrid. Jude had tested waters during one such trip, but figured it was too soon for her. She had told him she’d never met a boyfriend’s parents before, and it was a very big deal in her world. So he gave her space and bought time with his parents. But it had been 6 months now, more than enough time.

Ananya took a few deep breaths. What he was asking for was fair. Nerve-wrecking but fair. She couldn’t deny him this, she didn’t have the heart to, no matter how nervous this made her.

‘Ok.’

‘What?’

‘I said ok.’

‘You’ll come with me?’

‘Yes Jude.’

‘Not going to bail on me?’

‘No. I’ll work from there if I have to but I’ll come.’

All restlessness evaporated from his body as he slowly processed her words. He found a pillow, hugging it close, remembering her scent.

‘Gonna win for you tomorrow.’

‘You do that. I’ll be watching you.’

‘Love you.’

‘Love you more.’

‘Not possible.’

Ananya made him hang up shortly after, saying he needed the rest, and Jude drifted off to a sound sleep.

Once she reached her hotel, she banged on Roma’s door. Roma was taking a relaxing shower after a long day but ran out to find an impatient Ananya on the other side. 

‘I’m meeting his parents.’

‘What? When?’

‘THIS WEEKEND. And I don’t have anything to wear. This is a nightmare.’

Roma stood in her bathrobe, leaning against the closet, listening to Ananya rant for 10 mins. It was ridiculous, her friend had the most age appropriate closet she had ever seen. And she was golden when it came to the kind of girls Jude was likely to bring home. Sheer fucking golden. 

But Roma took her best friend duties seriously. She tried to talk sense into Ananya, promised to figure out her wardrobe tomorrow, then practically dragged her to the bathtub and pushed her inside so she could calm the fuck down.

Madrid won the next night. The girls were ecstatic, jumping on their hotel bed ecstatic, ordering late night champagne to their room to celebrate. Ananya was so proud of him. He had been imperial on the pitch, relentless. Her heart ached to be there with him, especially when he wanted her so. But it was only a matter of 2 days now - Friday evening she’d travel to Birmingham to spend the weekend in his family home. 

Thursday night, Ananya turned her (& Roma’s) suitcases upside down to find the right clothes. Asking Jude what would be appropriate was a royal waste of time - he just looked at her like she was asking him the square root of 1691. Then said cool to everything she showed him. Jobe, the otherwise reliable, sane one just gave her an incredulous look too. She realised the brothers had the same WTF face. She also concluded that men were an utterly useless breed in most cases. Next evening, she got in the car that Jude insisted he would send, and was on her way. 

At the other end, Jude was chomping at the bit all evening. Bouncing around the house in anticipation. When she was 5 mins away and took a wrong turn, he frowned at the screen.

‘Pls don’t tell me you’re tracking her phone.’

‘Oh she’ll murder me with her bare tiny hands. I’m tracking the driver.’

‘Of course.’

The car had barely parked in the driveway around 10 pm when Jude opened her gate, pulled her out, hugged her tight, lifting her straight off the ground. She wrapped her arms around his neck. Both whispering ‘missed you’ together. They hadn’t seen each other in 10 days. Not even on her 21st birthday a week ago, since she was in London for work. 

About 30 seconds later, she tapped on his back to put her down, and he did. Jude held her hand and picked up her bag with the other one, leading her to the house.

He could tell she was nervous; it was kinda cute. But she really had no reason to be. His parents were super cool and he just knew they’d love her. 

‘You’re fine. It’s gonna be fine.’

He whispered before opening the door. And they met Jobe on the other side. He gave her a quick side hug, with a sweet ‘welcome home’. That put her at ease, somewhat.

Mark & Denise were in the living room. She wasn’t sure how to greet them or what to call them, so she had decided to go with Mr. and Mrs. Bellingham. But before she could open her mouth & embarrass herself, Mark came over & lightly patted her shoulder.

‘Heyyy Ananya, welcome. I’m Mark.’

The pronunciation of her name was perfect, and she could tell Jude had something to do with it.

‘Hey Mark, how are you?’

‘All good. So good to finally meet the girl my son can’t stop raving about.’

‘Thanks Dad.’

Mark just play-pushed Jude away. And Ananya could see where Jude got his grin and easy-going attitude from.

‘So good to be here.’

Denise was watching them from the side. Their eyes met, and both women slowly walked towards each other, shaking hands.

‘Hey Ananya, good to see you.’

‘You too, Denise. What a lovely home.’

‘Thank you. Come have some dinner? We saved some casserole - Jude said you’re vegetarian.’

She was about to say yes out of courtesy when Jude intervened.

‘Mom she had some takeaway on the road coz it was getting late.’

‘I see.’

‘But the casserole sounds lovely, I’ll have it tomorrow.’

Ananya quickly chimed in.

‘Sure. You must be tired. Get some rest, see you in the morning.’

After some quick good-nights, Jude led her upstairs to his room, hand-in-hand. The staircase wall was filled with family photos over the years, many more than his place in Madrid. She glanced through all, feeling the warmth of the family home, getting a window into their closely-knit unit.

Jude’s room was no different, littered with photos & memorabilia, a wide contrast to his squeaky clean room in Madrid. That was a man’s room, this was a boy’s. This still had memories of his growing up years, and they seemed to want to keep it that way. Jude let her look around, breathe it in, while he put away her stuff in his closet.

A minute later, strong arms wrapped around her from behind, and his chin rested on her shoulder. 

‘Hey.’

‘Hey.’

‘Can’t believe you’re really here.’

‘Me neither.’

Both moved at the same time to lean in for a kiss. Jude lifted her, carrying her to the bed, as she settled into his lap in their trademark koala hug. Lips glued to each others’. His hand at the back of her neck guiding their pace.

After a long make-out, she slowly pushed at his chest, and he broke the kiss grudgingly. He had promised her to behave himself this weekend - Ananya’s condition of coming over was ‘no funny business’ and for him to keep his hands to himself. But she was so close & he couldn’t understand why he had to deny himself.

‘I’ll stop soon.’

She shook her head slowly.

‘You know you won’t.’

‘They won’t mind. They may not even notice.’

‘Jude, you promised.’

‘Fiiiiine.’

He plopped on the bed dramatically, as she stepped into the washroom to change, emerging in his jersey and her pyjamas. She snuggled next to him, and he pulled the blanket over them, holding her close.

‘I’m so proud of you. Last night was awesome.’

‘Thanks dove.’

‘All Madridistas are proud of you.’

He tapped on her lips lovingly.

‘But I care about this one the most.’

‘Such a charmer.’

He gave her a Jude grin in response, and they fell back to a comfortable silence, just soaking each other in.

‘Honey, I’m sorry about the game.’

She knew she had hurt him. She knew it was playing on his mind. His arms tightened around her in response, like she’d slip away any second if he weren’t careful.

‘Let’s not go there right now, yeah?’

‘Ok.’

It would have opened some existential doors that both weren’t ready to look behind at this point. She was here, that’s what mattered right now. Jude leaned it to kiss her again, enveloping her mouth in a deep, comforting kiss. Just then, there was a knock on the door.

‘Hey guys, can I come in?’

‘No. Go away.’

Ananya smacked Jude’s chest in admonishment, sitting up in bed and fixing her hair/attire quickly.

‘Come in Jobe.’

The younger Bellingham snuck his head in first, followed by the rest of him. He was already taller than Jude, and still growing (something he never failed to highlight). Ananya genuinely wanted to ask Denise what she had fed them as kids.

‘I come bearing gifts.’

Denise had sent over some sponge cake, mostly for her, since Jude couldn’t have this stuff. Her face lit up at the prospect of home-cooked cake, and she hungrily took it from Jobe, quickly stuffing her mouth with it.

The three sat on the bed, talking about random stuff for some time after. Jude couldn’t wait for his brother to piss off, and he wasn’t subtle about it AT ALL, despite glares from Ananya. When Jobe did leave in some time, Ananya threw him a dirty look.

‘That was not very nice.’

‘He’ll live.’

‘Jude.’

‘What? He’ll do the same in my position.’

‘I highly doubt it.’

‘Baby, he’s a lot like me. You just don’t see it yet, or don’t want to.’

Ananya didn’t want to ask what that meant. Maybe he was right, maybe she didn’t want to see it.

So she changed the subject.

‘How’s the shoulder now?’

‘Not killing me if thats what you’re asking.’

‘And the back?’

‘Very much killing me.’

‘Let me see.’

Jude laid face down onto the pillow, while she straddled him, keeping her knees on either side.

He often joked that she had turned into a half physio by now, and should start charging the club as a side-hustle. She had picked up on a few things, from trying to help ease his pain on some particularly harsh nights.

Slowly, she massaged down the spasming muscles, applying pressure at the right points. He moaned into the pillow, asking for more. She went again, and he moaned harder. So much that she had to ask him to be quieter.

‘My dick’s hurting too. Badly. Can you tend to it next?’

She smacked his butt in response. Which had the opposite effect coz he absolutely loved it & laughed into the pillow.

‘Stop being a pervert.’

Jude twisted his neck back to try catching her eyes.

‘How can I be a pervert with my own girlfriend?’

She twisted it right back, pushing him back into the pillow.

‘You can write a book on it.’

‘You’re hurting my feelings.’

‘You’ll live.’

Jude smiled at the way she used his own words against him, ever the wordsmith. His body relaxed under her soft, concerned hands, and he pulled her back down next to him after some time, drifting off to sleep soon after, burying his head in the crook of her neck, one arm & leg over her body, as her arms draped around his shoulders.

Ananya was wide awake for a while, taking in the room and all that would have happened here. When he would have first thought to start playing football, as a 6 yr old. When he would have stared at the ceiling, dreaming of playing professionally. When he would have gotten into Birmingham City and had the season that he did. When the young boy would have cried for having to leave his room, his house, his city, his club, his family, his country to play for Dortmund. That was all he would have wanted but it would have hit then how much he would have to leave behind. When he would have come here after making it at Dortmund. And finally, when the boy had turned into a man at Madrid. This room witnessed it all. If only the walls could talk, she’d sit & hear every single thing about the man she loved - his dreams, his fears, his secrets, his little jokes, his joys, his habits, his whole life. 

The thoughts led to a lump in her throat and a tingling in her eyes. Jude stirred in his sleep, moving his mouth on her neck, as if sensing her restlessness. She held him tighter, he did the same, and she didn’t realise when sleep took over.

Next morning, they slept in late, and no one disturbed them. The day was filed with fun family time.

First up was a barbecue in the backyard. She was touched to find they had gotten vegetables specifically for her. Mark & Jobe were on barbecue duty while Jude was helping Denise in the kitchen with salad & mashed potatoes. Ananya chose to side with the former team, having never seen this up close. And also because she was a little intimidated by Denise. This would have been the perfect organic window to break the ice, with Jude around, but she chickened out and picked the easier option. Mark showed her how to do the vegetables and she did the rest on her own, under his close supervision.

The family & her ate outside. Mark started talking about her work & plans, and he made it very easy for her to open up. At one point she even went into a monologue, speaking for a few mins straight, feeling embarrassed after. Jude & Mark started arguing about something random then, in a competition of who could yap more/louder, with Jobe joining in for some bits. Eventually, Denise put an end to the argument & the focus came back to the food. Which was frankly delicious. 

Next up were home videos & photo albums, something she had specifically requested Jobe for. Her mouth was in a constant ‘aww’ mode looking at Jude’s childhood clippings. She was sitting between the brothers on the couch, and they kept filling her in on the context. 

‘What happened to this cute boy?’

She was looking at his 3rd birthday album - big cheeks & puppy eyes tugging at her heart.

‘He got cuter.’

Jude giggled next to her, kissing her cheek, and she couldn’t even deny it factually. There were more clips of him with his little cousins, playing & laughing with them. He was a natural with kids, a downright magnet and hands down favourite.

For the first time, she wondered about having a little version of him running around the house. With Jude running right behind, pretending to lose the race. It did something to her. Something fluffy yet dangerous. She had to physically clutch her chest to keep her heart from hammering against it. Thankfully, they moved to watching a movie next. The first half was a blur, her thoughts still scattered, but the safety of being tucked under Jude’s arm brought her back out of her trance.

In the afternoon, the parents were busy with some calls. Jude wanted to take a nap with Ananya, while Jobe wanted to show her his new collection of thriller novels. She went with the latter, spending some time in Jobe’s room as they discussed their favourite thrillers. When she returned to Jude’s room an hour later, she found him playing a violent video game, filled with guns & explosions. She sat next to him, leaning into his side.

‘Didn’t sleep?’

‘Nuh.’

He kept his eyes firmly on the screen. And it took her precisely 3 seconds to understand he was sulking.

‘Will you teach me how to play this?’

‘Jobe plays this too. Maybe he can show you.’

‘But I want my boyfriend.’

Scrutinising eyes turned towards her, trying to find any hint of sarcasm or flippancy, but was met with sincerity. He softened, easing his stance, pulling her legs into his lap, and proceeded to yap for 20 mins about a game she had zero interest in. But she had always been a fast learner, and actually played two quick turns decently well. Jude beamed with pride, and the pair went to their nap after.

Dinner was brief. Everyone was still stuffed from the heavy lunch. And she had some work to finish. So Jude & her ate in the room - salad for Jude and yesterday’s casserole for her. They both crashed early that night, tired from the day’s activities.

Sunday morning came. She had to head out that evening, these were their last few hours together till next Sunday when he returned to Madrid. And Jude was particularly needy since waking up. He tried negotiating with all his might, to get her to budge on the ‘no sex rule’, calling it torture. Calling it unfair. An unjust punishment. He tried guilt-tripping, blackmailing, pleading but nothing worked. She stayed firm, and got out of his hold.

It was still early, around 7 am. The house was quiet. He followed her into the kitchen when she came down for some milk, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind, trying to kiss her neck.

‘JUDE.’

‘Let’s go to a hotel.’

‘What?’

‘For a few hours. There’s one nearby.’

He knew there was a private one nearby, because he had used it many times earlier. But obviously   omitted that out.

‘You’re out of your mind.’

His hands moved to her butt, cupping & squeezing with force, channelling his frustration. She tried swatting his hands away but was no match to his strength & resolve.

‘Not here.’

‘Yes here.’

‘Pls behave.’

‘Why?’

‘Decorum.’

Denise’s voice from behind made them jump apart in a split-second. Ananya wanted to kill herself. No, she wanted to kill Jude. And Jude knew that. So he stood a good few feet away, outside of her reach.

‘Morning Mom.’

‘Morning Jude.’

‘Was just helping her find…..sugar.’

Ananya cringed internally. It was extra sad because she knew he’d think he was being smart.

‘It’s on the counter.’

‘Right. So…..I’ll head back then.’

Jude retreated soon after, escaping the looks from both women he loved the most in this world. Then, Denise turned towards Ananya and the girl nearly dropped her cup.

She was dressed in Jude’s hoodie from yesterday, and was convinced the universe was trying to kill her with embarrassment. What would Denise think, especially after what she just saw? Should she give an explanation? Should she act like an idiot (like that boy earlier) & find a way to escape? This is not how she imagined her first proper solo conversation with Denise.

‘I..I’m sorry about..that.’

‘You shouldn’t be the one apologising for my son.’

Her tone was on point, but also kinda soft. Ananya just nodded in response, unsure of what else to say.

‘I’m making coffee. Want some?’

‘Yeah sure.’

She saw the graceful woman move around her kitchen meticulously.

‘Thought you’d be a tea person.’

Denise smiled. And Ananya breathed a bit more easy.

‘I was. But last 4 years in Europe changed me a fair bit I guess.’

‘Must have been hard - uprooting your life like that.‘

‘Yeah. But Mark & I kinda knew what it would take to get the boys here.’

‘And it still goes on.’

Denise’s smile was directed straight at her this time.

‘It still goes on. But they are happy, so I’m happy.’

Such a simple line, summarising years of sacrifice and putting her life away for her sons. But it was all worth it, she could see it from the quiet pride & joy in Denise’s eyes when she talked about her boys. What a great woman. A strong, smart, opinionated, loving woman. And such a great mum too!

They stepped into the backyard with their coffee, sitting side by side on the bench. Jude came down to check on the scene once, but saw them chatting away, so went back up quietly. Or so he thought, coz both women heard him & shook their heads.

‘So, 6 months huh?’

‘Yeah. Don’t know where time went.’

‘Happens when you’re in love.’

It was plain as day to Denise that they were in their head over heels phase right now. No question. 

‘I guess.’

‘It’s good to finally meet you.’

‘You too. And I’m sorry you had to find out that way…during Christmas.’

‘Again, not your fault.’

‘Were you surprised?’

‘That he was seeing someone? No. That he was in love? Yes. I’d never seen Jude so desperate like he was to get to you that day.’

‘I…I’m sorry for all the chaos and for…taking him away during Christmas.’

‘Dear, you need to stop apologising for everything. And for what it’s worth, I’m glad you gave him hell for that. I would too. All self-respecting women should, but most don’t, for various reasons, which saddens me. He needs to learn that actions have consequences.’

Ananya nodded absent-mindedly, still processing her words. The conversation moved to a few random things about life in Madrid. A few mins later, Denise looked at Ananya with purpose.

‘Can I ask you something?’

‘Of course.’

‘You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, or if you don’t know how to.’

That put her on guard.

‘Okay.’

‘There’s something holding you back from Jude. Something gnawing at you. Am I right?’

Ananya had not seen that coming. Her eyes fell to her lap as she fidgeted with her hands. How did Denise catch that in a day? Literally no words came to her head. Zilch. 

Denise watched her closely. She knew she had hit the nail on its head. Her intuition had just been confirmed. There was something about Ananya’s look, the way she paused in the middle of conversations about the future, or when Mark said she’d join them for Christmas this year. Something flickered on her face, which she usually hid away quickly, but Denise had seen it.

‘Like I said, you don’t have to answer.’

She really shouldn’t. When she hadn’t even been able to properly articulate it to herself. Her boyfriend’s mom, who she was meeting for the first time, should be the last person she should confide in. But there was something about Denise’s demeanour right now which made Ananya want to bare her heart - something kind, motherly, like an older sister or best friend. A wise, comforting, knowing, trusted advisor.

Denise saw her struggle, and reached out to squeeze her hand gently. Ananya held it back, ready to cry at the gesture.

‘I won’t tell him.’

‘I know.’

After a few deep breaths, Ananya let the cat out of the bag.

‘I don’t know if I’m the right girl for him. If I can give him everything he wants in life.’

There was no point denying this anymore. The argument from the last match was playing in her head. It had far deeper connotations, something the couple was avoiding to discuss. Because it would open a pandora’s box of questions & predicaments.

When Jude had asked her to go public that night, her whole system revolved against the thought. Something Jude sensed, which had hurt him. Which made him ask that piercing question. And he was right - there was never going to be a perfect time. Not now. Not for the next two years when she’d be knee deep in her MBA, an ocean away from him. Post that, it would be the first few years of her career, she didn’t even know what would be the best location for it. Maybe US. Or London. Or back home in India - she could always go back to the Mumbai office, to be close to her family. 

And Jude was going to be in Madrid. Her MBA or work won’t allow her enough time to fly in. And long distance would not work for Jude - he simply didn’t have the patience or maturity for it. He needed the constant reassurance of company, physical touch, having someone by his side, someone whose arms he could fall into every night, someone whose world revolved around him, someone who relished his world & the spotlight that came with it, someone he could show off to the world, someone who could deal with all the media/fan frenzy that would always follow him. Without that, he won’t be satisfied, not fully, and at some point he’d look outside for that satisfaction, for companionship, for sex. 

Even in the last few months, she had felt parts of that irritation and dissatisfaction in him, while she was in the same city. A part of her hadn’t been able to forget the despair she felt when she saw Jude’s picture on Christmas, and another part of her felt something like that was inevitable. Like it would come anytime now, and she won’t be able to take it the second time. Heck, she might even blame herself more this time. 

Denise didn’t ask what that line meant. She had pieced parts of it together from everything she had heard about her from the boys, and her face was also telling its own story right now.

‘Have you spoken to him about this?’

‘In parts. On & off, when something or the other pops up. But not directly, no.’

‘Maybe you should.’

‘How? I don’t want to hurt him. I can’t. Really do love him.’

‘I know, dear.’

The heart-shaped locket Ananya was wearing was proof of it. Of their love. Denise had the same one & she recognised it immediately. Jude had only given it to two people in his life.

‘But telling him later would hurt him more.’

Ananya squeezed her eyes shut in pain, and Denise scooted closer to her on the bench, her hand still squeezing Ananya’s. 

‘Look, you don’t have to do anything immediately. But at some point, you need to address the elephant in the room. It would eat away at you both otherwise.’

Ananya could only nod in response, the lump in her throat not letting any words come out.

‘Till then, best to not rush into anything.’

‘W-what do you mean?’

‘You know, like, you guys are young and….I can see how you are with each other. Don’t let a weak, vulnerable moment have serious life consequences….for either of you.’

Was she just getting sex talk from her boyfriend’s mother? To not rush into a….marriage….or a child???

Denise could see the mix of embarrassment and shock on Ananya’s face. But it needed to be said. The closeness they had, anything could happen. They were like pieces which weren’t even from the same board but somehow interlocked perfectly. Like magnets. Something she couldn’t articulate but felt deep in her heart every time she saw them together.

Ananya wanted the ground to split and swallow her whole. Now was a good time to run away, coz she couldn’t believe what had just happened with her. And she did run away, after thanking Denise for her counsel.

She ran straight to Jude. He was in bed, half drowsy, but his face lit up when she walked in. He lifted the blanket, inviting her in and she rushed to settle in next to him, letting him hug her close, burying her face into his chest.

‘That was some chat, yeah?’

‘I think your mom just gave me the talk.’

She was still in shock. And Jude just laughed loudly in her ear.

‘What?’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘To not let me knock you up?’

‘Pretty sure that’s what she was hinting at.’

‘Unreal. And she spoke to you about this, not me?’

‘Maybe she thought I’d take her more seriously on this.’

‘Yeah, possible. But that’s funny. No wonder you look so red.’

Jude tilted his head to kiss her cheeks and she sighed at the comfort of it.

‘Dad gave me the same talk by the way.’

‘WHAT? When?’

‘Last night. I just laughed it off. But mom? Wow. Can they not see we are kids ourselves?’

‘You are.’

‘Ouch. But yeah, you are older I guess.’

She smacked his chest with force.

‘By 2 months. Shut up.’

‘It’s cool. I like older women.’

‘You are such a juvenile. And they thought I’d let you get me pregnant? Nonsense.’

Jude whispered slowly, playfully in her ear.

‘Not now. But one day, you will. One day, I’ll put babies in here.’

She froze. Her skin turned cold at those words. Alarming him.

‘Heyy heyy I was kidding. Pls don’t freak out.’

She sat up in bed, throwing the blanket away.

‘Ananya - look at me. C’mon. Forget what I said, was just messing with you.’

He rubbed her arms & back, but she scooted away, setting some distance between them on the bed. 

‘It’s too much. It’s too hard…Jude…’

‘Baby, what’s happening?’

‘Are you happy?’

‘What?’

‘Are you happy with me? Honestly?’

Jude stared at her incredulously, trying to figure where she was going with this. Did she really need to ask him? 

‘I love you.’

‘I love you too. But….’

‘I AM happy. Aren’t you?’

‘I am…for now…but…’

‘But what? What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?’

‘It’s not all of a sudden. You know what I’m talking about.’

Her voice was barely a whisper now, and it scared the living daylights out of him.

Yes, he knew. All those little unsaid things between them that seemed unsurmountable, he had felt them too. Both had tried to brush them under the carpet. But it was all bubbling over now in a cruel way.

But letting her pull away was not an option. He reached for her, grabbing her arms, pulling her close, despite her protests.

‘We can work it out.’

‘HOW? I may have to leave in a few months for my MBA. And I want to, I really do. It’s my dream, my family’s dream. It’s all I have been working for since I was a kid. It’s why I have studied so hard. Can’t give it up Jude, can’t do that to myself or my family.’

Funny thing was, a part of her did want to give it all up, just to stay with him. And that scared the shit out of her.

‘I know.’

A part of him wanted to keep her back in Madrid too, by his side, selfishly, but he was starting to see it wasn’t possible. And it wasn’t right. 

She slumped against him, speaking in whispers again, and he held her gently, like a delicate precious object.

‘Between you & my career - I don’t know how to do justice to both.’

Jude was trying hard to be strong for both of them. To not break down right now. But it was killing him from the inside. The thought of waking up knowing she wasn’t his anymore was so terrifying that he had compartmentalised this in his head, even though her going away had been on the horizon more & more.

‘And it’s not just that - we’re so different. I don’t know if I can really make you happy. If I can be….who you want me to be…I….’

Theirs was a clash of sensibilities, of moral compasses, of cultures, of core beliefs. 

‘Shhhhh baby, baby, you make me so happy you have no idea. Can never put it into words what you do to me. You make me a better person. I love you. I love you so much, dove.’

Tears came down her cheeks, breaking his heart into pieces, but he let her soak his jumper with it. 

‘Look at me. C’mon love, look at me.’

He cupped her cheeks, tilting her face up.

‘Here’s what we are going to do. No big decisions for now. Nothing that gets us like this. No need to go public or anything. Let’s just do what we are doing, what’s working for us.’

‘But that’s not what you want….you want to go public….you want more…’

‘Not at the cost of you. Not if I can’t come home to you anymore. Do you get that?’

She nodded slowly. 

‘One step at a time. Nothing too drastic. We have 4 months before you leave, yeah? Let’s just make the most of it. Move in with me, if that’s not too scary for you. Let’s just stick to each other. And when you do leave, we’ll find a way to make it work if we want it that much. I know we can.’

She wanted to believe him, so so badly. But life just didn’t work like that.

‘It’s not so easy. You’re saying that now but….when I’m not around…will you….Jude I can’t take another incident like that I just can’t. It’ll break me.’

‘I know. And can you see why it won’t happen? Because I know that would be the end of us. You will never forgive me again. It’s not easy. No one said it would be easy. But tell me this - would you not have moved heaven & earth to be with your ex, no matter the challenges, the differences, instead of giving it all up?’

‘Y-yes.’

‘So why not now?’

Because life had taught her it wasn’t a bed of roses. She knew that now. She wasn’t that naive girl from earlier.

‘Is it because you….loved him more…than me?’

The crack in his voice hurt her in ways she didn’t even know was possible. Ananya reached desperately for his face, cupping his cheeks, kissing him all over.

‘No babu. Don’t ever say that. It’s not true.’

‘Then let me love you. Let me show you I’m not the same person anymore. Destiny & fate & distance can fuck right off - if you’re with me, if you trust me then we’ll make it. Remember I told you not being with you is not an option? It’s true. I won’t know what to do with myself. You’re my whole heart, I’m obsessed with you, I need you. And I’ll keep loving you till you love me the same way.’

‘I do love you the same way.’

‘Then show me. Fight for us. Don’t ever think of pulling away. Don’t leave me, Ananya.’

‘Oh Jude.’

They reached for each other at the same time, lips crashing together. She didn’t know whether she pulled him on top or he pushed her down, but there he was, kissing her like his life depended on it, pressing her into the mattress. Both channeling their love & desperation into the frantic kiss. 

Ananya didn’t stop him when his hands reached under her clothes, pulling them off. She couldn’t. Because she needed to feel his love, his reassurance, just all of him. And Jude would have cried if she tried to take that away from him. Quite literally. 

‘Just….make me forget this baby….just wanna remember you.’

‘Gladly.’

He lived up to his promise. In all his kisses and caresses and praises, she was transported to a different world. Their world. Where nothing else mattered. Just him & her. And it was enough. It had to be enough. They’d will it to be enough. 

‘Say yes, Ananya.’

She didn’t know what he was asking for, or what all he was asking a yes for. But she wanted to give it to him. She wanted to give him everything. 

‘Yes.’

‘My sweet dove.’

‘My beautiful prince.’

‘I love you.’

‘I love you more.’

‘Not possible.’

It was too soon to think of growing old together, so they decided to grow up together. Taking on the world together and everything it threw at them. One step at a time. 

...................................................................

Well, there you go! 17k words. The end of Star Crossed Lovers.

I don't even know how to begin thanking you for all the love you have given to this series, and to Jude & Ananya. What your messages have meant to me.

Thank you for waiting patiently for 2 months for this final chapter. For constantly motivating me & sending me good vibes. You've been the best readers, so you deserved a long-ass chapter to conclude this roller-coaster journey.

I'll be taking a break from writing now. But it's been such a ride with you guys.

And ofcourse, as always, I am chomping at the bit to hear your thoughts on this chapter. This was truly a labour of love, and the last one, so pls do share your thoughts extensively with me. I can not wait to hear you guys 💜

Thanks again!

[wikiangela]

tease tidbit tuesday

tagged by @disasterbuckdiaz @tizniz @jesuisici33 💖

more of the cheating fic bc I'm loving the scene with Hen and Buck is being sooo messy and sooo oblivious and I'm having so much fun lmao - also, I gave myself a deadline for posting the first chapter whether I finish the whole fic by then or not (I hope I do lol 🤞) so this is gonna be my main focus for now haha (unless inspiration takes me somewhere else)

prev snippet

___

“Do you love Eddie?”

“Of course I love Eddie.” Buck huffs. It’s the most obvious thing in the world. Eddie and Christopher are his world. The only thing is… “I’m just not sure if I’m in love with him.” 

“Then why the hell did you cheat?” she asks, exasperated, and so done with Buck. If Buck was her, he’d just kick himself out, to be honest. “You and Eddie clearly have something, and you felt enough for him to cheat on your girlfriend. Don’t kid yourself that you can just go on after this like nothing happened, with either of them. The best thing you can do now is to come clean to Taylor, and probably break up.” 

“Well, you cheated too, and you and Karen figured it out.” he blurts out, and immediately regrets it when Hen’s eyes darken dangerously. Okay, this is when he’d kick himself out. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“No offense,” Hen says slowly, quietly, through clenched teeth, tone icy, and it’s almost worse than if she’d yell at him, “but you and Taylor are nowhere near me and Karen. You don’t even love her, and clearly you don’t regret cheating that much, since you did it twice. It’s an entirely different situation, so do not bring me and my wife into this.” 

“I know, sorry, that was out of line.” Buck says quietly, feeling small under Hen’s gaze.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @transbuck @911onabc @housewifebuck @watchyourbuck @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @puppyboybuckley @weewootruck @loveyouanyway @spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @spotsandsocks @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @hoodie-buck @nmcggg @rogerzsteven @hippolotamus @steadfastsaturnsrings @giddyupbuck @dangerpronebuddie @sunshinediaz @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @exhuastedpigeon @diazsdimples @fortheloveofbuddie @theotherbuckley @911-on-abc @daffi-990

[navybrat817]

Jawbreaker

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky put a mouthy rookie in his place. Word Count: Over 800 Warnings: Established relationship, mention of injury, misogyny, punching, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes defending you (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: I'm dedicating this to @whisperlullaby , who got to read this in advance, because she deserves this man (along with the rest of you). ❤️Written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

A small part of Bucky felt bad as he idly wiped his hand with a towel. A very small part.

He didn’t want people to fear him because of his past and he refused to let it define him. That meant that he tried his best to avoid violent tactics unless absolutely necessary.

But today, well, fuck that. The fucker had it coming.

Steve stood in front of him, his blue eyes narrowed as he waited for his best friend to acknowledge him.

Oh, Bucky expected some sort of reprimand, but he was sure Steve would change his tune in a minute or so.

“You gonna ask me what happened, punk, or glare at me until I talk?” He asked, tossing the towel away.

The blonde huffed out a laugh, but he didn’t look amused. “Why did you break that rookie’s jaw?”

Bucky tilted his head. “What’s the phrase? He fucked around and found out.”

You would’ve been proud of him for that reference.

Steve shook his head when Sam burst out laughing a few feet away. “Sam, please,” he begged, though his mouth twitched like he was trying not to smile. “What did the guy do?”

A bitter taste flooded Bucky’s mouth as anger coursed through his veins again. He inhaled as he thought of your sweet smile and soft touch before he exhaled, the storm inside of him calming.

“Buck, you gotta tell us something,” Steve urged, needing some sort of information to try and do some damage control.

The brunette straightened up to look his friend in the eyes, wanting him to see the fury beneath the cold mask. “He told my girl to throw an apron on and get back in the kitchen when she went to spar.”

You, one of the most capable agents Bucky had ever known.

You, who had shown nothing but kindness to everyone, even when they didn’t deserve it.

The person Bucky was lucky enough to call his other half. His better half.

And some asshole rookie had the gall to treat you as if you didn’t belong there with the rest of them.

Sam was no longer laughing. Steve’s jaw clenched in understanding.

Bucky swallowed, that fury threatening to surface again as he remembered the hurt that filled your eyes at the comment. “You know I’d support anything she wants to do, whether that’s working or staying at home. It doesn’t give some prick the right to make her feel bad for her decision.”

“You know I don’t like bullies, but breaking his jaw?” Steve questioned. The guy deserved it, but did the punishment actually fit the crime?

“When she walked away, he said to come back when she was ready to see what a real man could do for her,” he said, the words coming out like a snarl.

The way you tensed up, fear and disgust flickering on your face, he didn’t think. A switch inside of him went off and he swung.

The fucker was lucky that all he got was a broken jaw. He could’ve done so much worse.

And it wasn’t that you couldn’t defend yourself because you could, but you shouldn’t have to put up with garbage like that.

A cracking sound echoed in the room before he realized he crushed the armrest of his seat. “Fuck. I’ll pay for that,” he mumbled, kicking a bit of the broken piece with his boot. “Can you just tell me how much trouble I’m in so I can get back to my girl?”

He didn’t care if he they suspended or even fired him as long as he got back to you.

The room stayed silent before Sam mused, “Technically, what the rookie did counts as harassment.”

Steve nodded. “And I’m sure Nat can persuade him not to sue for the injury he received,” he added, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We’ll take care of it, Buck. Just. No more breaking jaws, okay?”

“When it comes to my girl, I make no promises,” Bucky smiled, his heart racing at the thought of you. “And maybe he’ll think twice before he opens his mouth again.”

“The damage you did, I don’t think he can open his mouth at all,” Sam mumbled.

Bucky’s phone went off before he could comment, his heart swelling as he read your text. He had to bite back a groan, too.

“Thank you again, Jawbreaker. I love you and I’ll be on my knees waiting for you.”

You wanted to thank him not just with words, but with your body and heart. It all belonged to him, like he belonged to you.

And he didn’t need to tell Steve and Sam what the message said since it was just for the two of you. “Love you, too, baby. Nothing to thank me for, but I’m on my way. Be ready.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Maybe we'll see how you "thank" Bucky down the road. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[loveesiren]

𝖢𝗁𝗈𝗂 𝖲𝖾𝗎𝗇𝗀-𝗁𝗒𝗎𝗇 𝗏𝗌. 𝖳.𝖮.𝖯 𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍 𝖧𝖢

Highly requested Choi Seunghyun vs. T.O.P smut HCs! This man is so damn fine and I need him badly.

Warnings: smutty smut smut. MDNI. 18+, breeding kink

Choi Seunghyun

❁ Seunghyun, who always picks up dinner for you on his way home, excited to sit on the couch and watch a movie with you.

❁ Seunghyun, who refuses to buy you your own hoodies because you're just so stinkin' cute in his. He loves how big they are on you.

❁ Seunghyun, who could never get close enough to you. He'd lay in your lap and pick up your hand, placing it in his hair so you'd play with it. He'd reach inside your hoodie, his hands roaming your stomach and breasts, not in a sexual way, he just needed the skin to skin contact.

❁ Seunghyun, who loved sleeping naked with you, because again, he needs that skin to skin contact, it makes his dreams feel real.

❁ Seunghyun, who always brings you to the studio with him so he can show you the new music he's been working on. His eyes lit up every time you praised his work.

❁ Seunghyun, who loved the way you fell asleep in his lap, clinging to him like a spider monkey while he finished editing his songs. He loved carrying you to bed and tucking you in.

❁ Seunghyun, who loved your body so much. When the two of you got intimate, he took his sweet time exploring every inch of your body. And I'm not talking normal fan fic stuff. This man would take a good hour showing love to every part of you, making sure you felt worshipped. Sometimes you almost got angry because god you were just so fucking horny.

❁ Seunhyun, who got lost in making out with your pussy because you tasted so damn sweet.

❁ Seunghyun, who would hold your hands over your head as he grinded into you, holding eye contact with you even as he kissed you because your eyes were just so pretty.

❁ Seunghyun, who whimpered when he felt you clench around him, his release soon following because god he loved the way your body needed him.

❁ Seunghyun, who'd run a bath for the two of you and sit silently as you leaned back against him, peppering kisses on top of your head and temples as he ran soap over your body.

❁ Seunghyun, who clung to you so tightly when you slept together, because he just needed you more than anything.

T.O.P

☆ TOP, who was protective and possessive over you. His hands never leaving your body when you were out in public.

☆ TOP, who broke a mans jaw for trying to grope you.

☆ TOP, who was fucking dominant.

☆ TOP, who's demeanor changed around the paparazzi when you were with him. He had a primal instinct to protect you.

☆ TOP, who loved to tease you in public. Brushing his fingers over your clothed pussy under the dinner table, telling you to settle down when your breath hitched.

☆ TOP, who'd say, "We're at a business dinner, Y/n. Compose yourself." He'd mutter as he pressed harder against your core.

☆ TOP, who loved watching you squirm in public.

☆ TOP, who prayed you'd crack because that means he gets to punish you when you get home.

☆ TOP, who tsked at you the second you walked through the door. Loving the way you looked up at him with those big innocent eyes. "Strip." He'd say, as he removed the watch from his wrist. "You didn't settle down when I told you to, did you?"

☆ TOP, who watched you with hungry eyes as your dress fell to the floor. "On your knees."

☆ TOP, who loved how you did exactly as he said, you looked so cute on the floor looking up with him at him with needy eyes.

☆ TOP, who'd throat fuck you relentlessly, telling you you were such an obedient girl as he watched your mascara run down your face.

☆ TOP, who'd throw you over his knee, landing relentless spankings on your pretty little ass until your cheeks turned red. He loved the way you whimpered.

☆ TOP, who'd pick you up and throw your legs over his shoulders as he slid you down on his cock, the pressure was almost too overwhelming.

☆ TOP, who'd fuck up into you, loving the way your tits bounced as you came undone around him.

☆ TOP, who'd cum deep inside you and force you to sit upside down after because the man had a breeding kink and he wanted to make sure you got pregnant.

☆ TOP, who'd light a cigarette as he sat next to you, making sure none of his cum spilled out of you, using his thumb to push back in any that threatened to spill out.

☆ TOP, who when he decided you'd been a good girl for him, would take you to the shower and clean you up.

☆ TOP, who'd make sure you were tucked sweetly in bed, admiring his pretty girl, before he stepped out for his final cigarette of the night.

Tags: @kaylieiskrazy04 @fr3akyyg1rll @heuningpie @sapph1r3x @moondooll @tranquilty @noharaaa @mariaxman @dear-satan @infinetlyforgotten @staryscorner @blu-brrys @come-as-you-are-111 @nicklet94 @vamplivivi @3mma-lovely @hanadulsetaad @sayugarper @forevervibezzzz1 @shieraseastarrs @mooonologyy @skzdreamz @stillpervert @seunghyunwifey @juliskopf @mirahyun @mattsturniolosbabymama @kai-277 @rotten-toenails

[latin5mamii]

no pressure but imo we should get a winners fic today 🤭

Every night - Jude Bellingham

SUMMARY: Your boyfriend’s real reward is at home, waiting for him to make their night unforgettable…

GENRE: smut, reward sex

WARNINGS: smut (+18), fingering, jerking off, unprotected sex, crampie…

AUTHOR’S NOTE: of course i had to write this…especially with him looking so hot tonight😌

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

If there’s one thing Jude loved more than winning a game, it was what came after.

Sure, the roar of the crowd, the thrill of the match, and the praise of being called the best on the pitch was a rush like no other. But what really got him, what he craved most, was knowing that you were waiting for him at home with that smile, the one that told him he’d more than earned his reward.

Tonight was no different.

“Oi, Jude, you comin’ out to celebrate?” Vinícius called out, his grin infectious.

“Nah, man, got somethin’ special planned,” Jude replied, a sly smile playing on his lips. The lads teased him, but he didn’t care. He knew they’d understand.

It was when he opened the door of his hotel’s room that he saw his real reward, a little smirk playing on his lips.

“Look who finally decided to show up,” you teased.

Jude’s grin matched yours as he dropped his bag by the door, his eyes never leaving yours. “You know I had to, right? Can’t leave my biggest fan waitin’.”

He led you to the couch, where you comfortably sat on his lap, still looking at him.He kissed you slowly, like he was savoring every second of it, every taste of you. You could feel the tension in his body, the way he held you just a little tighter, his fingers gripping you like he never wanted to let go.

“Jude…” you breathed out, barely able to form words as his hands roamed your body, exploring, claiming.

“Mhm?” he hummed against your lips, his eyes half-lidded, full of that fiery intensity you loved so much.

“You were so good out there baby…” You whispered against his lips, which curved into a satisfied smile as he felt your breath against his skin.

“Yeah?” Jude’s voice was a low growl against your ear, his breath hot and teasing. “You know I do it all for you, right?”

You shivered under his touch, fingers tangling in his hair. “I know, baby.”

His hands roamed down your back, gripping your waist with a possessive intensity, his mouth leaving wet kisses down your neck. Soft moans escaped your lips.

“Don’t ever stop making that sound, yeah?” he murmured between kisses. You silently nodded, doing exactly as he requested.

Jude’s hands moved with purpose, tracing the curve of your body until his fingers brushed against the delicate lace of your panties. He pressed a finger against the fabric, feeling the heat and wetness beneath.

“Fuck, you’re so ready for me,” he growled, his voice thick. He slid your panties aside, his fingers teasing your entrance before slipping inside, making you gasp.

“Jude…” you moaned, clutching at his shoulders, your hips rocking against his hand. His thumb found your clit, circling it with just the right pressure, making you see stars.

“You like that?” he whispered, his breath hot against your ear. “Tell me how good it feels.”

“So good, Jude… don’t stop,” you panted, your nails digging into his back.

He smiled against your neck, adding another finger and thrusting them deeper, his pace relentless. “Gonna make you come, love. Gonna make you scream my name.”

You could feel the tension building, your body trembling with the need for release. Jude’s fingers moved faster, his thumb pressing harder against your clit, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

“Come for me, baby,” he commanded, his voice rough and urgent. “Let go.”

With a cry, you did, but Jude didn’t stop, his fingers working you through your orgasm until you were a trembling, panting mess in his arms.

“Good girl,” he murmured, kissing you deeply, his hand still teasing your oversensitive flesh. “But we’re not done yet.”

You gently pushed him back, your eyes locked with his as you slid down his body. He watched you with a mix of surprise and hunger as you unbuttoned his pants, freeing his hard length.

“You want to be rewarded too, right?” you whispered, your voice sultry.

Jude could only nod, his eyes dark with desire. “I’m all yours.”

You wrapped your hand around him, your tongue flicking over the tip before taking him into your mouth. His groan was deep and guttural, his hands finding their way to your hair, guiding you as you moved.

“Fuck, that feels so good,” he muttered, his hips thrusting gently. You took him deeper, your tongue swirling around him, your hand working in tandem with your mouth. His grip tightened in your hair as you increased your pace, the sounds of your sucking and his moans filling the room.

“Baby, I’m close,” he warned, his voice strained. You pulled back slightly, your eyes meeting his as you continued to stroke him, your mouth working the tip with focused intensity.

With a shuddering groan, he came, his release filling your mouth. You swallowed every drop, licking him clean before looking up at him with a satisfied smile.

Jude pulled you up, kissing you deeply, tasting himself on your lips.

He climbed over you, positioning himself between your legs. He grabbed your hips, pulling you closer as he lined himself up with your entrance. The anticipation was almost too much to bear, and you closed your eyes at the feeling.

“Nu-uh, let me look at these pretty eyes,” Jude murmured, his voice rough.

You did as he asked, opening your ‘pretty eyes’ and grabbing his hand, squeezing and caressing it

As he entered you, he started moving his hips slowly at first, savoring every moment. You moaned softly, the sensation overwhelming.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groaned, his eyes never leaving yours. “So tight, so perfect.”

You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper. “Jude… faster, please.”

He obliged, his thrusts becoming more urgent, each one driving you closer to the edge.Your gasps and moans filled the room .

“Your legs are shaking so much, baby,” he whispered, a wicked grin playing on his lips. “You like it when I fuck you like this?”

“God- Don’t stop please,” you whimpered , your nails digging into his shoulders.

He increased his pace, his thrusts hitting deeper and harder. “I never thought I’d hear you say this. Fuck, you’re so hot.”

You moaned louder, your body arching into his. “Jude… I’m so close…”

“Me too, baby,” he groaned, his voice thick with pleasure. “I’m gonna come.”

The intensity of his thrusts, combined with the pressure of his thumb on your clit, pushed you over the edge once more.As he spilled inside you, he messily kissed you,moving your hair from your face.

He collapsed beside you, pulling you into his arms, both of you breathing heavily, hearts pounding.

You turned to face him, blushing a bit.

“Why are you looking at me like this?”you asked, trying to catch your breath, a playful grin on your face.

“I’m just imagining how amazing it would be to celebrate like this every night.”

[jayybugg]

always been you

Mattheo Riddle x Fem!Reader based on Always Been You by Chris Grey

Summary: Breaking things off should be easy.....right?

Warnings: Smut, Language, maybe a little angsty?? Not really sure. Mattheo is a little mean, but not to you.

Word Count: 3.2K

Music:

Note: I love writing fics based on songs. Probably one of my favorite things to do, I actually wrote this in June, right before my birthday, but my computer crashed, and that file got lost. I prefer this version of it better, though, so I think it was the better. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, enjoy!

Banner by @cafekitsune

You crossed my mind, a few miles ago, turned on your street, thinking I’m headed home

Mattheo chucked the butt of his cigarette to the ground as he walked through the empty corridors of the castle. Unaware of his location, he turned the corner to be met with steep stairs that he knew led to your common house door.

He narrowed his eyes at the dark path in front of him. His feet and heart were begging and urging him to continue. To get to your door, to see you, to touch you, to hear your voice. If Mattheo could smack himself, he would. He was supposed to be going to his dorm to meet some blonde chick he flirted with at a party weeks ago. A distraction, he was supposed to be going to see his distraction.

Yet, here he was, unconsciously going to you like some lost puppy who couldn’t bear to be without his owner. Mattheo continued to glare at the path before scoffing and turning away to make his way to his dorm. Ignoring the pang in his heart, he slipped another cigarette out of the pack and lit it.

How pathetic…. all this over a stupid girl.

It’s late in the night, I hope you’re alone, and nobody is there holding you close, and I tried to love again, now I’m right back at your door

He couldn’t help it. You were plaguing his mind like some disease.

Even as he gripped the hips and thrust into the blonde from behind, his mind still wandered to you. He thought about what you could be doing at this moment. Were you up reading those stupid romance books that you liked so much? Or were you watching some scripted reality show that you always gossiped about with Pansy? Or maybe you were cuddled up with some fucker like some lame-ass couple?

Or worse, instead of being laid up, what if you were in the same position as this blonde? Were you with some other guy? Letting him fuck you? Letting him get a taste of what belonged to Mattheo?

It was the small yelp of pain from the blonde that brought Mattheo back to reality. His grip was brutal on the small girl’s hips, a bruise already forming in its wake. Mattheo loosened his grip, but his pace increased, fast and rough as if he was trying fuck his anger out on the poor girl who had no idea what was going on in his mind.

“M-Matty-” The blonde moaned out. If Mattheo wasn’t thinking about you, then he was definitely thinking about you now at the use of your nickname for him. He muttered, “Don’t call me that.” Another sharp thrust making her moan, caused him to speak again, “And shut the fuck up. Your moans are annoying.”

That’s how Mattheo’s days carried on. Forcing himself not to go to you at all hours of the day and fucking anybody to get you out of his mind.

Was it working?

Not really, but Mattheo was beyond the point of actually giving a fuck. He needed to let you go; he had to let you go. Especially because he was the one who ended the friends-with-benefits arrangement, despite knowing all that, Mattheo didn’t stop watching you. His eyes were on you whenever he had the chance to. Drinking in your figure, your face, your everything.

“Merlin, you look like the biggest creep around. Stop staring at her like you want to eat her alive.” Theo’s voice broke Mattheo’s trance. His dark brown eyes met his friend’s deep blue ones as he took a seat next to him and lit a cigarette.

“I don’t want to eat her alive.” Yes, he does. Anything to have you remotely close to him. “And I don’t look like a creep, and I wasn’t even staring at her.” Mattheo scoffed, folding his arms as he leaned against one of the pillars in the Clocktower Courtyard.

“Yeah, right.” Theo snorted, blowing his smoke, “Why’d you even break it off with her? Thought shit was going well for you both?”

“Too attached,” Mattheo said curtly. Luckily for Mattheo, he didn’t specify which one of them was getting too attached because, truth be told, it wasn’t you that got attached, it was him.

Theo didn’t speak again, giving Mattheo a small noise of acknowledgment. Mattheo’s eyes focused back on you as you laughed with your friends. A small frown tethered on his lips as he watched you. Why the fuck were you so happy? Why aren’t you drowning in misery like he is?

You seemed so unbothered by the fact that Mattheo had broken things off with you. Almost as if you never cared, and it made Mattheo’s blood boil because all he could think about was you.

That’s why he came to your dorm. He needed to know how you forgot about him so quickly. He needed you to teach him. He knocked on your door loud enough that if you were in your dorm, then you heard him.

The door flung open to reveal you to Mattheo. His eyes didn’t hesitate to trail down your body before meeting your eyes. “What the fuck are you doing?” Mattheo asked gruffly.

You raised an eyebrow at him, obviously trying to understand the boy’s audacity. “What are you doing here, Mattheo?”

For the first time in his life, Mattheo didn’t have an answer.

I know in the end, it’s always been you, you, oh, I got everything to lose, you, it’s always been you

Your eyes stayed trained on Mattheo; he felt like his heart would be ripped out of his chest if he stood in front of you any longer. Without any words, Mattheo turned on his heels and walked away from your door. He felt your eyes follow him until he was out of your sight.

He didn’t understand why he couldn’t answer you. When did it become so difficult to get what he wanted? What did he even want?

You.

He wanted you. Deep down, he knew that. His friends knew it, your friends knew it, and the whole school probably knew it. The only person who probably didn’t know it was you because, in your eyes, Mattheo was the emotionless prick who couldn’t settle down to save his life.

Mattheo wasn’t used to having nice things. Everything came at a price for him. He couldn’t, and maybe wouldn’t, wrap his head around the idea that you want him for nothing in exchange for his love. He could never bring himself to care about anyone outside of his friends, but you somehow crawled your pretty ass into his heart and plagued him every moment he wasn’t with you.

You’re just fucking attached, Mattheo, it’s pathetic.

The voice in his head sounded eerily like his father. He hated it; he hated it more than he hated how infectious you were to him. He reached into his pocket once he reached the courtyard, the cold air of night pinching his face as he pulled out a cigarette. He lit it, inhaling, then exhaling in a shaky breath.

What the fuck was wrong with him? He has never been so torn up about a girl like this before. He knew he wanted you, but what about you did he want?

Did he want your corny jokes? The ones you would tell him every morning, the ones that never failed to gain a snort from him.

Or maybe he wanted your pretty smile? That same pretty smile that he envisioned every time he closed his eyes. The same smile that made his heart flutter weirdly whenever he saw it. The same smile that made him jealous whenever he saw it directed at anyone other than him.

Or was it your voice? Merlin, your voice. So soft and sultry. Always said his name so sweetly, even when you were annoyed at him for some reason. Your voice that lets out the prettiest moans for him when he had you on your back with your legs prompted on his shoulders.

Mattheo groaned, rubbing his temples from the pending headache that always came when he thought too hard about you, which was all the time. He threw his cigarette down, crushing the lit cherry of it under his boot. He made his way to the Slytherin dorms, looking for his next distraction.

Staring eye to eye, I can’t look away, spent so much time apart, still nothing’s changed

Mattheo was once again staring into your eyes. He was drowning in them as you plopped into the seat across from him in the Transfiguration classroom. His eyes followed every moment of yours, from your hands that opened your notebook to your plump lips that moved as you spoke.

You were speaking. You were speaking to him.

He blinked as he registered your voice, the sound making his heart jump and his cock twitch. A weird combination, but a combination that made sense for him. You frowned at him, your eyes unamused by the lack of attention that you were receiving from the curly, brown-headed boy. “Are you even listening to me, Riddle?” You crossed your arms, your eyes narrowed accusingly.

Merlin, her eyes were so fucking pretty. “Since when do you call me ‘Riddle’?” Mattheo licked his lips as he finally spoke. You scoffed, slamming your hands down on the table. “Is that all you can respond to? If you can’t focus or won’t focus, I’ll tell McGonagall to switch us for the project.”

“No!” Mattheo rushed out, “I can focus. I promise.”

That was a fucking lie.

Mattheo couldn’t focus at all. Not when he sat in your dorm for the first time since he ended things with you. It was overwhelming, from your scent to the closeness of you two on your bed. The only thing running through Mattheo’s mind was pushing you back on the bed and diving his head between your legs to taste you.

He was trying, Merlin, he was, but he just couldn’t. Not when you were in front of him in spandex shorts that made your ass look so good and a tank top that revealed that you had no bra on. Were you trying to torture him? Some sort of sick punishment for how he went about ending things?

He exhaled loudly, causing your eyes to snap up to him in a slight look of annoyance. “If you don’t want to do this, then you can leave. Nobody is forcing you to be here.” You said.

Is that what you thought he was thinking about right now? Leaving you? As if.

“Nobody is annoyed, doll.” He said, “Trust me.”

He met your eyes, the room suddenly intensifying around them. Your eyes darted across his face as if you were trying to pick out the lie in his features. “Right.” You muttered.

A silence took over the room as you both continued to stare at each other. Mattheo’s heart was beating out of his chest. He just wanted to lean over and kiss you. He wanted to hear you whisper his name in his ear. He wanted you.

Fuck it.

I find nirvana inside of your love, baby girl, nobody was enough, oh, I tried to love again but a part of me was yours

Mattheo’s lips crashed against yours, expecting you to immediately push him away, but much to his surprise, you kissed him back. He moaned at the simple feeling of your lips against his. The murkiness in his mind had cleared, with you being the only thing on his mind.

He pushed you back on the bed, lips still attached as he felt his body and heart become whole again. He had been suffering for months when all he needed to do was kiss you. He broke the kiss, his lips trailing down your jaw to your neck as his hands slipped under your tank top to cup your breasts.

“Mattheo.” You whispered. A groan involuntarily fell from Mattheo’s mouth when he heard it as he continued to kiss down your collarbone, his fingers massaging your hardened nipples. “Mattheo.” You whispered again, “We shouldn’t-”

“No.” Mattheo breathed out against your shoulder. His curls hid his dark eyes from you as his fingers pinched your nipples. A small yelp filled the air as Mattheo planted a kiss on your shoulder. “I don’t care if you kick me out right after or punch me for whatever reason. I don’t care. I want this; I need this.” He whispered.

He sat up, his eyes meeting yours once again. There was nothing but lust, honesty, and vulnerability swirling in them. You blinked up at him before nodding slowly. “Okay.”

Mattheo didn’t waste any more time. Mainly because he was so desperate but also because he was scared if he waited a second longer, you would change your mind. He lifted your shirt up, pulling it over your head, and throwing it to some unknown part of your room. His lips latched onto your left nipple, his hands traveling past the waistband of your shorts. He whined, he fucking whined, when he felt that you had no underwear on. “You’re fucking torturing me, doll.” He mumbled, moving to give your right nipple the same amount of attention.

“I didn’t...I didn’t do anything.” You whimpered, a soft gasp following as two of his fingers slid into you with ease. Mattheo came back up, his eyes meeting yours, his lips only inches from yours as his fingers plunged deeper into you with each thrust. Your moans were hitting his lips like a hit of ecstasy. “That’s the fucking problem.” He mumbled.

His fingers curled inside of you, your back arching, and a loud whine from you as a result. “You have been torturing me for these past few months, and you don’t even know.” He mumbled, “It’s fucking ridiculous.”

“M-Mattheo...”

“Stop calling me that.” Mattheo demanded, pulling his fingers out of you and your shorts. He ignored your whine as he yanked your shorts down, throwing them in the same direction as your tank top.

He scooted down, pushing your thighs apart to further reveal your leaking pussy to him. Another moan fell from him as he ran a finger down your folds, gathering some of your wetness up. He lifted his finger to his mouth, sucking it lightly. Your eyes were trained on him as you let out a sound that Mattheo couldn’t quite identify. “Mattheo is your name.” You finally gathered enough brain power to respond.

“Not to you. You know what I want you to call me.” He mumbled. Mattheo leaned in, running his tongue down your folds. You let out a loud moan, your hands flying to his hair. “Y-You said you hated the nickname ‘Matty’.” You whispered, your eyes fluttering close.

“I want to hear it.” Mattheo said, blowing on your clit, causing a shiver to run down your body. He licked down your folds again, this time faster, as he looked up at you. “Open your eyes, doll. Open your eyes and say my name.” He whispered, swirling his tongue around your clit before sucking on it lightly.

Your moans were uncontrollable at this point, and you had no choice but to obey his wish. “Matty.” You breathed out, “Fuck, Matty...”

A smile graced his face as he pulled away, pushing his two fingers back into you. “That’s my good slut. Always did know how to follow directions.” He whispered. His lips reattached to your clit, sucking lightly and swirling his tongue around it.

Your moans filled the room as your fingers tightly gripped his hair. He wasn’t going to stop until he ripped an orgasm from you. He would die if he didn’t get you to cum on his tongue. “I know you’re close, doll. Don’t hold out on me, please. Cum on my tongue, I need it.”

You whined as you held his head closer to your clit, your orgasm leaking onto his tongue. He licked it up eagerly, pleased to clean up the pretty mess that he had made. When he sat up, he yanked his shirt off, following his sweatpants and boxers. He watched as your eyes seemed glued to cock, hard and already desperately leaking with pre-cum. Mattheo climbed back on top of you, holding the shaft of his cock as he ran it up and down your folds.

“You’re soaked.” He whispered against your lips, his forehead pressed against yours, “Did you miss me?”

You took a deep breath. “What does it matter? You...You wouldn’t care regardless.”

You thought he didn’t care? If he wasn’t in the middle of sinking his cock inside of you, he probably would have given you a serious response. Instead, all that tumbled out his mouth was, “Just answer me.”

He pushed his cock into you, a groan escaping his lips. “I missed you.” He whispered, “If that makes any difference in your answer.”

He moved his hips slowly, hitting deep inside of you. The act of it all was sensual, intimate. As if Mattheo was trying to make this moment last as long as possible. Your soft moans brushed against his lips, causing his heartbeat to race. “You should miss me.” You whispered, “You’re the one who ended things.”

He was. Merlin, he was the idiot who ended things. “I know.” He whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Mattheo gave her a deep thrust, getting a moan in return. He kissed her jaw, his hips moving a bit faster but keeping a deep pace. “I’m an idiot. I’m sorry.” He repeated in your ear. “I’ve missed your pretty self, doll. So fucking much.”

Mattheo didn’t know what was taking over him. The feeling of being inside you again, or if the intimacy of it all was making his true feelings spill out.

“Matty.” You whispered. His hips moved with more urgency as if he was trying to fuck his remorse into you. “I mean it, doll.” He whispered, “I’m fucking sorry and I’ve fucking missed you.”

You tightened around him, making his moan in your ear. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I just....fuck, doll.” Mattheo mumbled, his words spilling out quickly. He was so drunk, on you, on your love, on your pussy. His thrusts were getting sloppy, and you were clenching around more and more. “Cum with me, doll. Please. I fucking need it.” Mattheo pleaded.

You met his eyes, nodding. “I am, Matty... I am.” You said.

Your moans mixed with his groans as you both came together. His seed filled you as your juices coated his cock and soaked the sheets underneath. Mattheo pressed his lips to yours, passionately and desperately.

I know in the end, it’s always been you, you, oh, I got everything to lose, you, it always, been you

It all made sense to Mattheo now.

With your head lying on his chest as your light snores filled your room, Mattheo’s mind was clearer than it had been in the past few months. He was attached. That was the only answer.

He wasn’t just attached to you. He was obsessed and in love with you.

Mattheo couldn’t hide it or deny it to himself anymore, and he honestly didn’t want to. There was no point in doing that. The only person he had to convince was you.

It had always been you. Always.

[stressforu]

♯ itoshi rin — what he does

started making bllk fics today >:) , kinda new to the fandom since I just started reading the manga after the anime

itoshi rin x gn!reader

fluff, no warnings

home page ...

ITOSHI RIN acts cold, and he grumbles when you try to cup his cheeks when he's cold. he sighs when you eat his favorite food which he stored in the refrigerator the other day, and the way he'd roll his eyes when you'd try to show pda in public.

(hey, eating his favorite food is debatable!)

though he never meant it that way, he would get all jittery and nervous that he'd try to put up a cold facade whenever you would cup his cheeks. and he also never meant it in a bad way when he doesn't like to show pda, he's a guy who would rather keep you all to himself !! (you might not know but rin secretly boasts you to his private insta with all his dick teammates close friends.)

he would often try to put up that cold image, but his walls crumble when you're with him. he becomes soft to the point he would watch your sappy romance movies just so he can cuddle you.

you'd never notice this but, he keeps a special album solely just for you in his gallery !! he tries to listen to your music tastes, and tries to learn your interests just so he can talk about it with you !! (he'd probably listen to your gossips when you're with him, he feels like your enemy is his enemy.)

" you know that girl i was talking about last night, yeah? well she got pregnant by her ex boyfriend. "

" ...what... that's crazy... "

okay, he might be a little crazy... but he keeps your favorite keychain in his duffel bag ! imagine an all-black duffel bag and a small pinkish keychain in the strap of his bag !

he's so downbad for you he wouldn't let you sleep without cuddling with him. your head below his chest, feeling his heart beat with the rhythm of yours.

he loves loves loves you.

did i note that he loves you to the point he'd actually wear the promise ring that he gave to you on your anniversary? not in his finger but in his necklace. he'd subconsciously dangle his fingers in his necklace whenever he's stressed or he misses you >:(

does. not. forget. important. dates

occasion or not he gives you flowers. yes, he's just that kind of man !

" ... flowers ... for you .. "

" what for rinnie? our anniversary isn't till next month. "

" just because i want to..." " just take it.. "

do not forget to reward that ice king with kisses :(( !! he loves loves loves it when you kiss him, pamper him with kisses and he would immediately turn into a full make out session with him ! be careful tho ;)

rin looks at you amid the crowd. whenever he scores? he would look at your figure cheering for him loudly, he wasn't focused on the crowd their voices were a blur, and he could only hear your shouts.

you make it all so worth it.

note : did ya'll ike it?? :333 lemme know !! my man itoshi rin sbdhshshdhdb i will probably write for him next time!!!!!!!! share ur thoughts??? :3333333

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

I DREAM, NOW, OF A NORMAL LIFE WITH YOU ; SUGURU GETO

synopsis; suguru isn’t a lightweight. this is your first time actually seeing him drunk — though maybe it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he’d be the sappy kind.

word count; 9.4k (..... i got carried away ok)

contents; suguru geto/reader, gn!reader (shoko calls u "girl" but in a "girl help" way not a gendered way), written w a no curses au in mind, sugu is a sappy emotional drunk i said what i said, sickening amounts of fluff, depictions of intoxication, reader is averse to alcohol, sugu wants to marry u so bad it makes him look silly, lots of emotions & lots of love <33

a/n; this fic has been ROTTING in my drafts for the longest time but its super precious to me and now i finally get to post it!! @softgirlgonehaywire & @hayakawalove ily ty for being interested in sappy!sugu this is a treat for u <33

the bar isn’t all that far off from your apartment.

it’s a short distance, really. walk straight ahead, until you reach the record store that suguru likes to frequent, and then take a right; a minute or two uphill, and then you’ll be able to see the blue of the sea. once you’re there, all that’s left is to look for mellow golden lighting and descend a set of stairs.

which is what you’re currently doing, popsicle in hand, loose clothes and comfortable shoes on as you wallow in the mellow summer evening. everything is blue — the dark shade of the sky, and your ice pop, pastel and sweet, tasting of pure youth. the hoodie you threw on is a rich cobalt, suguru’s in name but yours in spirit. he only wears it when you complain that it doesn’t smell like him anymore.

humming a jolly tune, you take a sharp turn, allowing the summer sensations to curl around your subconscious. blissed out and content. 

you were so, so bored — stuck at home with no one to keep you company, no one to mumble snarky commentary about the show playing on tv, no one to run their fingers through your hair while your head rests in their lap. pure torture, really, being faced with the consequences of your own actions. after you stupidly told suguru you’d be okay on your own.

he even asked you twice, just to be sure, even told you that he’d prefer you to join him on his night out. and again, you declined; because it’s been so long since he had some time alone with shoko and satoru, and you were feeling a little tired anyways. 

so he gave in. heading out, with a promise to bring back a tub of your favorite ice cream, leaving you with the apartment to yourself. did you come to regret your little white lie? maybe. possibly.

but everything worked out in the end.

a pleasant breeze caresses your skin, brushing against the apple of your cheek, and you watch as peach blossoms dance in a faraway park. cicadas cling to every tree in sight, buzzing a pleasant tune, mingling with the giddy giggles of high school students enjoying their summer vacation. it’s been raining for a couple of days; you can still smell it in the air, feel it in the low tinge of humidity clinging to your skin, still hear suguru’s insistence that you bring an umbrella with you to work — just in case.

but today, the skies were clear, and it’s late, not too humid but not too chilly. and the stars are out, glimmering in that fuzzy sea of mellow cerulean, leaking out like little marbles cast into space. falling down, down, down, close enough for you to see. from here, it looks as if they’re waving. you resist the urge to wave back.

peace. bliss. a nostalgia so vibrant you could drown in it, feel it lick at your ankles like soft sea foam.

eager to scratch a certain itch in your brain, attention span zipping from one street vendor to the pop music blasting from a couple streets away, you take your phone out from your pocket. absently scrolling through your messages, until you get to the ones shoko sent you just ten minutes ago. the ones that brought you out here, into a summer evening soon to slip into nightfall, ones that have you walking to the bar you chose not to join them at.

messages that still have you pushing back a bout of giggles, chewing lazily on your ramune ice pop with a giddy smile.

sho 🚬: come get ur man sho 🚬: he’s drunk. sho 🚬: like DRUNK drunk 

you: …… um.  you: what happened to hi? hello?? good evening???

sho 🚬: no time for that. look sho 🚬: [ image ] sho 🚬: he looks so goofy lol

unable to resist the temptation, you press the pad of your finger against the screen — opening the image attachment, just to drink in the sight once again. what you see is a certain man, slumped over in his seat, cheek smooshed against the wooden table in front of him. messy hair, no longer tied into a bun, cascading down his shoulders and back. from the little you can see of his face, his skin is flushed a light pink, and his eyes are closed, fingers still curled around an empty beer jug. 

like a sleepy puppy.

a coo tiptoes on your tongue, but you bite down on your lip in an effort to stop it, just grinning at your screen with pure adoration in your lovesick eyes. 

he’s drunk, alright. an unfamiliar sight, but not at all unwelcome. because he’s cute, terribly so, so cute that it hurts, even when he’s obviously wasted. it’s almost funny — you know their drinking habits. shoko holds her liquor so well that it’s a little horrifying, and satoru can get wasted if he has more than a sip of it. and suguru?

suguru never gets drunk. he barely even drinks. out of consideration for satoru, maybe, or you. probably both. that’s just how he is; you thought he hated fish for years, because he was always so eager to give you the best bites of the sushi rolls you ordered. turns out he was just indulging you.

so, to be frank — the idea of him suddenly being drunk is a little bit of a shocker. but it’s also kind of exciting, in a ridiculous way. new, fun, just what you need when you’re bored out of your mind.

(or maybe you’re just happy to have an excuse to go see him.)

you: NOOOO  you: MY BABY 😭😭😭 you: what did u guys DO to him???

sho 🚬: satoru and him made a bet 😐 you know how they are sho 🚬: he drank like a divorced mother of four ive never seen something so beautiful

you: …. you: have i told you that you’re both terrible

sho 🚬: u love us <33 sho 🚬: anyway he’s been asking me where u are for the past ten minutes pls come i can’t stand him sho 🚬: he’s crying.

you: HUH???????? you: WHY????????????????

sho 🚬: dude i dont know sho 🚬: please come get him he’s being so sappy that satoru’s abt to throw up

you: ???? okok 😭 you: im omw ig??

sho 🚬: girl hurry he just told me he genuinely appreciates my presence in his life 😐

an exhale — laced with deep amusement — drops from your lips and spills into the summer air. it tastes like a memory from long ago.

slipping your phone back into your pocket, you raise your gaze, searching for a glimmer of goldish light. soaking up the scent of the ocean, sparkling on the border of your peripheral. salty and sweet.

no matter how hard you try, all you can think of is that certain someone, waiting for you to pick him up. your mind keeps drifting back to the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, the way his hair falls over his face when he leans down, the sound he makes when he stretches in the morning.

you want to see him. badly. you want him near, want to feel the familiar warmth of his presence, want to see him smile and laugh and sigh and raise his eyebrow at your antics. 

so there isn’t any time to waste. you’re walking towards that familiar set of stairs before you know it, shoes hitting the asphalt with a mantra of satisfying thuds. 

and when you step in through the opened door, you’re immediately engulfed by a sense of overflowing comfort. mellow, warm lights, the soft buzzing of static from an old radio, low citypop beats trailing through the air. the bartender by the counter gives you a curt nod in greeting, before motioning towards a certain table. it’s over in the corner, covered in beer jugs and fancy glasses, with three beauties seated around it.

satoru notices you first.

a bright grin finds its way onto his face, and he waves you over giddily, happily. barely contained excitement in the motion. shoko’s gaze follows his, flitting over to meet yours — and you think she mouths an oh, thank god, before taking another sip from her glass. she brings a hand up in greeting when you come closer, and you can’t see her smile, but there’s a crinkle to her eyes; a warmth in them that you’d never miss.

”hey, guys.”

”yo!” satoru chirps, beaming in a way that’s so distinctly him it makes you soften. he looks so comfortable in his seat, with a cocktail you know is non-alcoholic and probably too sweet for anyone but him to stomach. giggling to himself, leaning over to poke suguru’s cheek, with a teasing declaration of your chaperone is here! 

and there he is. 

the man you came here for, still slumped over in his seat, unresponsive. not for long. as the lilt of your voice reaches his ears, his eyes flutter open, in a bout of recognition — even in the drunken state he’s in. an immediate sensation of familiarity creeps into his veins, rousing him from his cozy, half-asleep stupor. 

he doesn’t even grumble over the way satoru keeps poking at his cheek, interest and attention focused solely on a certain someone. you, your presence. 

and when your eyes meet his, he lights up.

it’s precious, you think, how his eyes widen, blooming with genuine affection, so endearing you could kiss him right then and there. his face is flushed, and his hair is tousled, and the warm lighting of the bar paints him in a golden hue. so perfect for him, your star in the sky. 

a smile spreads across his lips, big and happy and warm, and you can’t help but mirror it. 

(gosh, he’s cute.)

with a dizzy kind of eagerness, suguru sits up, palms flush against the table to support his weight. he stumbles out of his seat, paying no heed to satoru’s amused huff of careful! or the rattling of fragile glass.

it only takes a few uncoordinated steps for him to reach you, where you haphazardly lean against the wall, watching him amusedly. that delighted smile never leaves his lips, as his arms go to curl around your waist, big and heavy, his jaw finding its rightful place on the curve of your shoulder. 

”baby,” he drawls, fond and affectionate. breathing you in. ”sweetheart. my angel.”

a flustered puff of laughter slips from your lips, stumbling a little under his weight. his voice is syrupy sweet, overflowing with love and adoration, soft in a way that has your knees buckling. a little raspy. murmured right into your ear, sending pleasant shivers down your spine. 

he’s too sweet for you to handle, really, even sweeter than satoru’s overpriced cocktail. and he smells the same as always; a blend between coffee grounds, cigarette smoke and rain, one that never fails to soothe you. even when it’s tangled up with a vague but vivid stench of alcohol, courtesy of the drinking he’s been doing until now. 

you crinkle your nose, but don’t let go of him, nuzzling your cheek against the side of his head. words buzzing with warmth. ”hey, sugu.”

suguru only squeezes you tighter, content to have you in his arms. finally, his world makes sense again. all he can do is bask in your voice, warmth, scent — he’s just so enamored by it all. almost in a trance, heartstrings dancing along to the beat of your presence, your very existence, that appears to him as something almost angelic. soft and familiar, something that feels right at home when it’s tucked into his embrace. where he can keep it safe.

”missed you…” he murmurs, sleepy, smearing an open mouthed kiss against the crook of your neck. ”i love you s’much…”

a chuckle. ”i love you too,” you echo, running a steady hand over his back. your voice is laced with something teasing, but awfully fond. ”you really are drunk, aren’t you?”

”mm…” he only hums, cheek pressed flush against your soft skin. ”’m sorry…” he mumbles, stifling a yawn. he sounds a little guilty, and it makes you want to coo. pull his cheek a little.

instead, you laugh. amusement vowen into the bubbly noise. ”it’s fine, sugu. c’mon — let’s go home, alright?”

at that, satoru visibly reacts, placing his glass on the table with a soft clink before getting up to stretch. he grabs suguru’s discarded jacket, letting it hang off his arm as he walks over to the two of you.

”i’ll help you carry him,” he smiles, always so dependable. so ready to be of service. maybe a little too eager to carry suguru around like a sack of potatoes. 

a smile blooms on your face, and satoru gives you a playful wink. shoko just leans back in her seat, stretching idly. it feels like home with them there.

”i’ll stay here,” she hums, a faint grin tugging at her lips. ”he’s your problem now.”

”got it.” you meet her lidded eyes, sharing an amused look as satoru tries to coax suguru away from you, pulling at his cheek while he whines and clings to the fabric of your clothing.

finally, he relents, and you look back at the table with a grin. ”see you later, sho’.”

a smile is the only response you get, but it’s enough. it’s her, the same as always, still sipping from a glass of expensive whiskey and raising her hand in a silent see you. relaxed and cool, and so very lovely. 

with one arm over satoru’s shoulder and the other clinging to your hoodie, suguru stirs.

”shoko…” he groans, craning his head to look back at her, even as satoru makes a move to leave. ”don’t drink too much. and watch out for strangers…” 

he trails off, blinking drowsily, a protective tone to his voice. worried. awfully like him. neither you nor satoru can resist the chuckle you indulge in, but shoko just rolls her hazel eyes.

”i don’t need to hear that from you,” she scoffs, tinged with amusement and what you’re almost certain is embarrassment. there’s a fondness to her snark, one you’d never miss. 

(shoko will always be shoko. you know that she appreciates suguru’s concern, even if she doesn’t want to show it.)

”alright, c’mon,” satoru quips, slapping suguru’s back with a grin. ”there, there, big guy. let’s get you home, hm?”

just as you suspected, he doesn’t let you help, doing all the heavy lifting on his own. not breaking a single sweat, flaunting his strength as he hoists suguru up the steps — while you do nothing but follow, a light jacket hanging off your arm. 

cold midnight air embraces you, slathering your cheeks with the essence of summer as your shoes meet the asphalt. satoru smiles, a low exhale escaping him, dusting off his hands. ”there we go.”

suguru stumbles towards you, no longer caged in, slumping against your shoulder with a satisfied sigh. blinking slowly, as you link arms, his muddled senses adjusting to the outside world. a pleasantly blue sky, a sun long set, and a string of lamp posts to light up the street ahead of you. artificial fireflies, watching over the town you love so dearly.

you part your lips, and a soft exhale slips out, dripping with fondness. ”thanks, satoru,” you smile, meeting his gaze.

”don’t mention it,” he waves you off, but you know he appreciates it; always eager to be praised. ”can you bring him back by yourself?”

”yeah, we’ll be fine. it’s close, anyway. don’t worry.”

a hum buzzes in his throat, and his cobalt gaze drifts upwards, to bask in the starry sky. a moment passes, and then he’s looking back at you and suguru; a soft and earnest smile playing at his lips. so sincere you want to reach out, cup his cheek, make sure he knows how loved he is.

”i’ll go back to shoko, then,” he chirps. bubbly and graceful, giddy and playful. always so lovely. ”gotta make sure she stays out of trouble.”

a chuckle. you mirror his smile. ”of course.”

and with that, your precious best friend makes a move to return to the bar, taking a decisive step away from you. before he can get too far, though, a certain hand reaches out to hold onto his sleeve — keeping him still.

satoru turns around. blinking once, then twice, in confusion; faced with none other than suguru, still slumped against you. a little out of it, sleepy and disoriented, yawning quietly, but his eyes are as clear as ever. caring and sentimental. 

his gaze cuts to the bone of things. it’s something you’ve grown used to.

”thanks, satoru,” he murmurs, letting go of said man’s shirt. the words that spill from his lips are straightforward, a little tactless, but overflowing with earnest appreciation. ”you’re my best friend.”

a moment passes. the stars burn in silence.

satoru blinks.

then he sighs, with what you know is nothing more than feigned annoyance. masking his embarrassment, the same way shoko did, the same way suguru always does. your repressed, beloved little losers. 

”yeah, yeah. i got it,” he pats suguru’s shoulder, once, twice. not looking at him. ”you’re such a sap, you know that? geez.”

a grin crawls up to rest on your lips, fresh mischief blooming in your eyes. ”not gonna call him your best friend back?” you tease, a soft tilt of your head.

satoru gives you a glare, playful, one you can’t physically see from behind his shades but still somehow sense. ”don’t add fuel to the fire,” he grins, with a halfhearted flick to your forehead.

before you can bicker further, suguru yawns, loudly, closing his eyes and nuzzling into you. you share an amused look with satoru, until he shakes his head fondly.

”take care of him, alright?”

”i will. you guys have fun!”

and at last, satoru turns on his heel, coupled with a smile and a lazy wave. but suguru calls out to him once more, unwilling to part ways without saying his piece. so sentimental, so loving it comes to him like breathing.

”bye-bye, satoru,” he slurs, voice loud enough for the entire street to hear, tired and honest. raising his arm in a lazy wave. ”i love you!”

”go home already!” satoru shouts, descending down the steps with a flush to his cheeks that you’ll tease him for later. his soft laughter is carried away by the breeze, sweet and saccharine.

(satoru will always be satoru. you know that he loves suguru back, even if he doesn’t want to say it out loud.)

with a faint chuckle, melting into the summer air, you tug on suguru’s arm. ”alright,” you chirp, looking up at him. ”let’s go!”

he seems a little more awake now, at least, trying to match your steps. meanwhile, you do what you can to support his weight; he’s stumbling a bit, but you don’t mind. if anything, his weight is a comfort, your arms linked together like a lucky charm. a safe harbour.

suguru is acting kind of like a big puppy, gazing at you with hearts in his eyes. a little meek, clinging to you, trailing after you pliantly. he’s a little dizzy, still, and he needs you to get back home in one piece. it makes you puff out your chest, stand up straighter. makes you feel protective of your 6’2 boyfriend, all toned muscle and broad shoulders, the personification of scary dog privilege. but he needs you right now.

a soft bout of laughter spills into the air, as you try to ignore his heavy stare. it’s impossible, though — so you turn your gaze to meet his own, and he practically glows under the sound of your giggles, that cheeky smile you’re wearing. ”you okay, suguru?”

his eyes soften. silently, he runs a thumb over the knots of your knuckle, smoothing down your skin, thick fingers intertwined with yours. 

he looks deep into your eyes, and a soft hum of affirmation buzzes in his throat. 

”i’m just so happy,” he grins, with a sincerity that has your heart doing flips inside your ribcage. it flutters, flutters, flutters, in the wake of his unbridled joy. it buzzes like it wants to break out.

suguru has this dreamy look on his face, one you can do nothing but admire, painted over with fluorescent moonlight and pure summer bliss. one that reminds you a little of high school rooftops, midnight road trips, what it means to be in love.

you nudge him, softly, with the arm that’s tangled up in his own. tilting your head, teasing words on the tip of your tongue. ”you know, i never took you for a sappy drunk.”

suguru's only response is a cute little mmrn, steps heavy as he leans on you for support. trying his best to carry himself, not wanting to inconvenience you, but it’s just a little tough. especially when he feels this soft, this grateful — this blessed.

a giddy, dreamy smile tugs at his lips. his amber gaze travels up, towards the little pale dots of star clusters all across the night sky, gleaming like milk poured over rich coffee. then he exhales; a soft, blissful little sound. ”i’m so lucky.”

a moment passes, silently. in the distance, cicadas buzz. with a patient smile, you admire him, the reflection of starlight in his eyes. suguru has this forlorn look, etched into his expression, like he’s seeing something that isn’t quite there.

”i have satoru and shoko…” he mumbles, just loud enough for you to hear. as if he’s tasting the words on his tongue, as if he can’t quite believe them himself. that’s how lucky he feels, sometimes.

a nod. ”they love you a bunch, you know?”

(they do. they’re both horrible at saying it out loud, but you know they do. you know that they love suguru, just as much as he loves them, even if none of them are good at putting it into words. perhaps they don’t really even need to, in the first place.)

suguru mirrors the soft nod of your head, bangs falling over his eyes as he does. ”and i love them, too.” his smile grows. ”they’re my best friends.”

absently, you reach a hand out, brushing away the strands of hair obscuring his vision. and suguru stirs, his gaze shifting until it falls on you. like a moth to a flame. there’s something indescribable in his eyes, soft and heavy and tender and true.

”— and i have you.”

a stutter of your heartbeat, a jolt throughout your chest. his stare almost burns, but you can’t avert your gaze — suguru looks positively lovesick. admiring you with a dreamy gaze, as if he can’t believe you’re real. 

he reaches a hand out; cradling your face with one big palm, the rough pads of his fingers smoothing down your skin so very gently. smearing his fondness from your jaw to your cheekbone, so loving your breath hitches in the back of your throat. 

a soft, content sigh spills into the air, like a prayer that doesn’t need any words. his smile is serene.

”my angel.” 

as the words fall, that peaceful smile of his changes shape, shifting into a big, giddy grin. it lights up his whole face. a chuckle leaves his lips, content and delighted. ”i’m the luckiest guy in the world.”

and for a moment, you fear that your heart will stop beating entirely. frozen, listening to the lullaby of your heartbeat resounding in your ears. 

suguru has always been frighteningly good at flustering you — but isn’t this a little unfair? you clear your throat, hoping to regain some composure. it’s tough, though. your words could never measure up to his, could never flow as freely, but they’re honest. wholly and thoroughly. and maybe that’s enough. 

”we’re the luckiest in the world, too, then,” you echo, smiling, words barely above a whisper. willing yourself to meet his gaze. ”since we have you.”

suguru looks into your eyes. there’s starlight inside them, he thinks, shining brightly, gleaming in the dark. with the hazy filter of intoxication clouding his mind, it’s all he can think. you’re his northern star, his lighthouse. his one and only saving grace.

(you’re so, so pretty.)

a pause. after a silent moment, spent etching your features into his retinas, suguru tilts his head. his expression is unreadable.

— he boops your nose.

you blink. once, twice, caught entirely off guard; and suguru giggles. soft, giddy little breaths falling from his lips like marbles, strewn over the sand of a warm beach. his eyes are crinkled at the edges, and his smile is sweet, meeting your surprised gaze with a honeyed coo. ”you’re so cute, baby.”

silence. you look up at him. 

then you sigh, exasperated, more flustered than you’d like to admit. god. okay, he’s really out of it. for some reason, you still thought you could get a good one-liner in, but of course he had to ruin that by being a little tease.

you grab onto his bicep. gaze fixed straight ahead, giving it a tug. your steps are more decisive now, and suguru follows you happily. ”alright, alright. c’mon,” you beckon, slightly gruff. ”we’re almost there.”

when you finally reach the familiar front door of your apartment, you exhale a deep sigh, laced with pure relief. limbs tired from dragging suguru up the stairs, mind muddled and sleepy and senses practically engulfed by a man still clinging to you like his life depends on it.

after fumbling with your keys and hearing the click of the lock, you take a victorious step over the threshold, and a familiar scent greets you. soothing, comforting, a blend between fresh laundry and leftover curry and blooming hydrangeas. filling your senses with a fervent kind of bliss. of course, suguru’s does the same; intimately intertwined with the scent of home. that everlasting, never-changing blend. 

with him clinging to you like this, it’s almost suffocating — but you truly don’t mind. suguru’s warm, and sweet, and being close to him like this makes you feel at peace. his hands rest on your hips, his jaw on your shoulder, and he adamantly refuses to let go of you for even a second. it’d be annoying if he wasn’t so cute, if he wasn’t suguru geto, if you weren’t so horrendously weak for him.

what you don’t know is that suguru has an agenda. one that isn’t just i want to hug the love of my life, although partially that as well. suguru has a plan, one he’s been absentmindedly dreaming of for the past five minutes; he’s a man on a mission.

but he’s patient. always has been, always for you. so he waits, and waits, for you to hang his jacket up, for you to kick your shoes off your feet. and when you’re finally, finally finished, suguru leans in to kiss you.

— you block his mouth with the palm of your hand.

a moment passes. silent, almost tense. in his stupor, suguru’s mind can’t quite seem to comprehend the situation before him; he doesn’t understand why he isn’t pressing a kiss to your lips, right now, why he’s kissing the skin of your palm. he doesn’t understand why you look so troubled, a faint guilt simmering in your eyes. he just doesn’t understand.

all he can do is blink, dumbly, surprised. a question written on his features clear as day. 

”well, it’s just…” you sputter, sheepishly. avoiding his gaze, a little guilty. ”you know. since you’ve been drinking, and all…”

and it hurts, you think. it hurts a lot more than it should. it hurts to reject him, hurts to see the way he deflates at your clarification. like a big kicked puppy. like you just threatened to throw him out into the street.

suguru removes your hand, gently, holding it in his own as he speaks. those amber eyes are downcast, and a soft pout rests on his lips. the sight alone feels like a dagger to your chest.

”but…” he frowns, voice awfully meek. he looks so sad. ”i wanna kiss you…”

a soft sigh leaves your lips, before you can think to hold it in. oh, he’s being so unfair. guilt clings to your mind, an itch you yearn to scratch, and all you want is to kiss his pout away. but you really, really don’t want to kiss his alcohol-soaked lips.

so you settle for the second best option.

”’m sorry, sugu,” you coo, reaching a hand out to cradle his cheek. he leans into your touch, still pouting, and you tug a little at his bottom lip. wasting no time in closing the narrow distance between you.

the kisses you press against his skin are soft. peppering kisses all across his face; ghosting your lips along his jaw, trailing towards his cheekbones, and settling on his forehead. tiny little pecks, wherever you can reach. your voice is soft, muffled into his skin between butterfly kisses. ”tomorrow, okay?” 

and suguru seems to brighten up a little, melting under the contact, exhaling in pure bliss. he fervently returns the treatment, planting open mouthed kisses all over your face, respecting your wishes and avoiding your lips. they’re a little sloppy, but you don’t mind.

it does make you a little flustered, though. with his palms cradling your face, engulfing you, there’s nothing you can do except drown in his affection, the love he showers you with. it tickles — and suguru’s smile only grows, at the sound of your soft giggles. his cheeks are starting to hurt.

the state he’s in is just a little bit hazy. despite his initial dejection, he no longer minds that he can’t feel your lips against his, disappointment warded off by your smile and laughter alone. he thinks you’re so, so cute, and all he wants is to kiss you forever. 

but you have other plans.

and before you know it, you’re both curled up in bed, limbs all tangled up beneath the blankets, bodies pressed together as suguru cages you in. he squeezes you tightly, hugging you close, practically melting into you. usually, it’d be so easy to fall asleep like this. with suguru cradling you, covering your body with his own, warm and safe. he’s like a furnace. 

but right now, it’s a little tough. you’re kept awake by open mouthed, ticklish kisses pressed against your skin, supplied by the love of your life. it’s sweet, but he’s being far too distracting — as soon as your consciousness begins to fade into the fuzzy realm of sleep, he leaves a sloppy kiss against your collarbone, and you’re jolted awake once more. 

”suguuu,” you whine, dragging his name out with childish inclination. ”we need to sleep…”  

”sorry,” he only murmurs, muffled into your skin. he doesn’t stop, though, planting a wet smooch on your cheek, and then another. you squirm a little in his hold, and he emits a shaky breath. ”jus’ love you so much…”

suguru knows that he needs to stop. he knows that both of you need to sleep, that you need to rest up. that he needs to recover from the intoxicated state he’s fully aware that he’s in — but he just can’t seem to follow through with it. every cell in his body burns with a certain desire, a need to shower you in love, and it’s unendurable. with every kiss, every giggle he manages to pull from your lips, suguru’s heart fills up just a little more. 

your presence surrounds him, like a weighted blanket, and he clings to it with a desperation he never knew before you. 

in the midst of his feverish consciousness, you’re all his muddled mind can think about. the way you fit together with him like a puzzle piece, like he was formed in the shape of someone meant to hold you. like you were formed in the shape of his embrace. with you pressed up against him, limbs tangled with his, everything feels so right.

but it’s so overwhelming. 

you’re so, so close, so close he’s practically engulfed by your scent, your touch, everything that makes his heart burn with devotion. it’s beating so viscerally in his ribcage, stirring the protective instinct inside him; he just wants you to stay close, by his side, wants to keep you safe and happy. wants to make you feel loved. 

suguru’s heart feels wet and raw and bare, fully exposed for you to see. beating just for you.

with the alcohol inside his veins, and the nostalgia of the summer evening on his mind, everything weighs on him just a little too heavily. everything feels just a little too much. every sensation, every emotion, every sappy thought. all of it together is almost too much for him to handle.

all he can think of is you. how lucky he is, to have met you, to have gotten to know you. how much you’ve changed him, changed him for the better, how much of him is directly tied to your existence.

suguru never truly appreciated his name until you came into his life. it was always no more than a simple fact, a gift from his parents that he hadn’t asked for. something natural, that he didn’t question, didn’t think about. 

but you say his name with such warmth.

he wants to hear you say it, over and over again, forever. suguru — in that sweet, lovely voice of yours. better yet, just sugu, a cutesy, silly nickname he could never bring himself to actually hate. he just wants to hear you call out to him, with that warmth of yours, the one that never fails to soothe him. no matter how tired he is, how stressed. how much everything else weighs down on him. 

at the end of the day, he’s simply your sugu. and that’s all he ever really wants to be.

with a hazy filter clouding his senses, coaxing him into closing his eyes, suguru should give in. he should fall asleep, let you fall asleep. but he can’t bring himself to stop thinking about it; he just loves you so wholly. who you are, what you do. as an equal, an individual, a little galaxy tucked into a body made of flesh and blood. no matter what you’re doing, no matter where you are. 

and right now, you’re here, with him. curled up in bed, in your shared apartment, inhaling the same air, exhaling at the same time. by his side, when you could be anywhere else in the world.

his heart is yours. that’s all suguru can bring himself to think, the only coherent thought he can cling to and echo in his head. his heart is yours. forever and ever. 

he makes no attempt to stop the tears from pooling in his eyes, even as he feels them cling to his lashes, even as his breathing clogs up in the back of his throat. they’re proof of his devotion, his carefully nurtured love. growing over the years, into something almost sacred, a kind of faith. something so fervent he wouldn’t dare deny himself of feeling it.

he can’t hold in a faint sniffle, either, just barely audible. one that breaks your heart in two. it aches, aches, aches. suguru is gazing at you with glassy eyes, a sight you aren’t used to seeing — but he also looks so genuinely glad. his tears aren’t ones of sadness. you know, because you know him. 

”aw, honey…” you coo, the pads of your fingers reaching out to cradle his cheek. despite your efforts, your voice wavers when you speak, little more than a whisper. ”don’t cry... you’ll make me cry, too.”

suguru places his larger palm over yours, choking on another sniffle. the sight renders you completely helpless — you want so desperately to stop his tears from falling, but a part of you is too touched to speak. too mesmerized by how beautiful he is, translucent tears illuminated by softly flickering moonrays, lashes glimmering like shooting stars.

all you can do is smooth a thumb right under his eye, wiping away a stray tear with enough tenderness to stitch his heart back together. suguru emits a shaky breath.

”’m sorry,” he sniffles, closing his eyes. nuzzling into the crook of your neck. ”i’m just so happy… love you so much… you mean so, so much to me, i…”

an exhale, a little breathless, tears soaking through the material of the shirt you’re wearing. his shirt. that realization makes him cry even more, a shuddering breath that shatters like glass when it drops from his tongue. 

and then, in a voice so quiet you barely hear it, a soft whisper worth a million words:

”i don’t know what i’d do without you.”

and it hurts. your heart aches so sincerely, thorns curling around your ribcage, because suguru is crying, and he’s telling you all this. with such an honest intonation that you don’t dare doubt him, even for a second. heavy thumps of blood rush through your veins; he’s still clinging to you, sniffling into your neck, and you’re so in love with him that you almost can’t comprehend it.

all you can do is press a kiss to his shoulder, chaste and tender, and hug him just a little tighter. echoing his words, in earnest, desperately trying to keep your voice from breaking apart. ”i love you, too. more than anything.” a sigh, full of wonder. little butterfly kisses scattered across the expanse of his neck. ”you mean the world to me. honestly.”

with a smile against his skin, you hope so tenderly that the soft kisses will comfort him, will stop the tears from falling. 

”my sweet boy,” you murmur, lovingly, because he is. the sweetest boy you’ll ever know. suguru shudders when you press your lips against his jaw. ”i’m so, so lucky.”

with the combined efforts of your kisses, the alcohol slumbering inside his veins, and the tears running down his cheeks, suguru begins to feel awfully tired. sinking into sleep’s embrace, like a sailor lost at sea. comforted by the glimmer of a lighthouse, just out of reach.

everything feels right. he’s safe, and happy, and in love. so hopelessly, blissfully in love.

the exhaustion creeps up on him, tidal waves embracing a shore, beckoning him into closing his weary eyes. a yawn leaves his lips, and he shifts a little in your hold. you’re smoothing down the back of his head, almost protectively, and sleep is only a flicker away for the both of you. with the last of his strength, suguru snuggles just a little further into you, nose pressed up against your neck, close enough that he feels the flutter of your heartbeat. 

”wanna be with you forever,” he murmurs, sleepily, stifling another bout of yawns. his smile is sweet and dreamy. ”gonna marry you one day…”

a moment passes.

for a second, you think your heart does actually cease beating entirely.

swallowing a gulp, you allow yourself the luxury of an inhale — and fresh air fills your lungs. grounding. all you can hear is the rapid beating of your own heart, heavy thumps reverberating in your ears. warmth flows through your entire body.

marry.

the word is spoken so casually, so sincerely, as if he’s said it countless times before. as if he’s repeated it, over and over again in his mind, just to get used to the idea. as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. marriage. something so foreign, so scary, enough to send shivers down every narrow of your skeleton. such a large step to take. 

(but suguru says it with such tenderness.)

”… okay,” you whisper, at last. breathless. ”i’ll be waiting, then.”

there’s nothing else to say. you don’t know if suguru is even conscious enough to hear you, let alone understand the full weight of your words, of his own words. but you don’t mind. 

a soft smile lingers on your lips, as you stroke his hair, mind hazy and limbs heavy. nuzzling your cheek against the side of his head, full of affection. dripping from your hands down to the column on his throat, through his windpipe, down to his heart.

”goodnight, sugu.” you press a kiss to his messy hair, tender and chaste. ”i love you.”

an incoherent mutter leaves his lips, in response, one you can’t quite make out — but you don’t need to. because you already know what it means, in the same way you know that the sky is blue.

(an echo buried deep within his subconscious, voiced without effort, as easy as breathing.

i love you, too.)

the sizzling of a pan and the whirring of a coffee machine form a beautiful morning symphony, bouncing off the walls of your kitchen. to your ears, and your still sleepy brain, it’s a soothing sound — coaxing soft little melodic hums from the depths of your throat.

with such a tantalizing aroma in the air, a blend between espresso and pancake batter, you can’t help but buzz with a mellow, groggy kind of joy.

honestly, you're beginning to understand suguru’s fondness for the morning hours. waking up to his soft snores and content expression was more than enough to give you the energy you needed to get out of bed; all sleepy and relaxed and pretty, with hazy morning sunrays kissing up his bare skin, caressing his messy bedhead. 

a rare sight, awfully precious. a part of you wanted to stay in bed and admire him all morning, but the thought of taking care of him coaxed you into leaving. it’s the least you could do, really — after seeing him so sincere, so open and vulnerable. 

hopefully, his headache won’t be too brutal when he wakes up. you left some hangover pills on the nightstand, courtesy of shoko’s advice: just get him ibuprofen and coffee. works like a charm. are you a little worried about her nonchalance? maybe. but you trust her judgement. they’re a handful, but you love them — even when they’re drunk or hungover. 

which is why you’re standing in the kitchen, engulfed by the morning sunlight, in front of a sizzling pan. trying your very best not to burn the pancakes you’re making, patiently waiting for the coffee to be done. 

in your blissful stupor, caught up with thoughts of suguru and breakfast and forevers, you don’t notice another presence coming up behind you.

two arms wrap around your waist, and a jaw attaches itself to the curve of your shoulder. you startle, a little, jolting at the contact — but then you recognize that telltale scent, the familiar weight of his arms, and immediately melt into the embrace.

suguru breathes out a raspy chuckle, amused at your surprise. 

a sigh slips from your lips, content. ”good morning,” you hum, placing the palm of your hand on his forearm. suguru shifts a little, getting more comfortable as he leans against you. tenderly, not too much weight. he’s delicate like that.

”g’morning,” he rasps, leftover sleep clinging to the syllables. the usual smoothness of his voice is coupled with a deep, rough kind of tilt, one that always accompanies it in the morning. your heartbeat picks up, silently.

suguru smiles. dreamy, giddy, because you just looked so pretty, in the morning light, hair still a tad messy. humming happily, swaying slightly side to side. so irresistible. he’s beginning to understand why you love sleeping in so much; getting to wrap his arms around you like this, instead of the other way around, doesn’t feel bad at all.

he squeezes you just a little tighter, hoping it’ll convey his gratitude. there are holes in his memory, last night no more than a blurry sequence of still images, but some bits and pieces remain intact. he remembers getting drunk in a way he hasn’t since he made that bet with satoru back in high school — and he remembers that you were there to take care of him.

a smile tugs at his lips. a little giddy, butterflies erupting in his chest. he’s so damn lucky.

”thanks for taking care of me yesterday, sweetheart.”

a hum. you smile, sheepishly, patting his arm. ”don’t need to thank me for that. how do you feel?”

suguru smiles. you feel it, against your skin, a chaste kiss on your neck. ”better.”

the low purring of the coffee machine has stopped, but the sizzling of the pan remains. from beyond the opened windows, you can hear the chirping of cicadas, melodic and serene. singing a summery tune. both of you soak in the preciousness of the moment, the fragile silence, before suguru breaks it.

”everything from last night is kinda fuzzy,” he admits, clearing his throat. just a tad sheepish. you simply hum, a low noise of acknowledgement, and he continues. ”i don’t really remember anything… ’m sorry, baby. i hope i didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

your lips curl up into a tiny smile. such a sweetheart — always worrying about you. always so caring and attentive. eager to reassure him, you smooth over the skin of his arm with your thumb. ”not at all.”

then you’re taking a couple steps back, moving from the stove, and suguru follows. you turn yourself around to meet his gaze, his arms still attached to your waist, a comforting weight.

a grin blooms on your lips, a little teasing, and a flicker of mischief shines in your eyes. ”you were cute, you know.”

suguru blinks, before emitting a low chuckle. a raspy little thing. ”was i?” he drawls, as you brush his bangs away from his face. 

”mhm,” you chirp, eyes crinkled as they meet his own. you just can’t help but want to tease him, a little bit. just a smidge. ”kept going on and on about how much you love us.”

hands moving to cup his face, you squeeze his cheeks softly. and suguru lets you, too tired to resist, only giving you a lazy raise of his brow. there’s a sense of amusement in his eyes, and something in you knows he likes the attention. your teasing words buzz with endearment, akin to a purr. ”my sweet lil’ sugu.”

all he does is lean into your touch, allowing himself to melt into the tenderness of the physical contact. even as you pull at his cheek, earning you a very gentle pinch to your side. but he lets you have your fun. you’re warm, and sweet, and he’s so in love with you he’d probably let you tug his body around however you please.

still, your words leave him just slightly perplexed. he’s still smiling with half-lidded eyes when he asks you to elaborate, basking in the feeling of your thumb smoothing over his cheekbone. ”us?”

your grin widens, by a tad, something deeply amused glimmering in the depths of your iris. ”yep,” you answer, popping the p. for some reason, suguru dreads the teasing edge to your voice. ”me, and shoko, and satoru.”

a moment passes. he stiffens, for a second or two, mind processing the words. then he groans, softly, squeezing his eyes shut.

it makes you laugh, soft and amused, and he can’t help but smile along. despite the dreadful realization you present him with. no wonder he was met with so many notifications when he tapped at the screen of his phone — he didn’t read through any of them, but now he’s apprehensive to do so at all. shoko and satoru can be so goddamn obnoxious when they feel as if they have blackmail on him.

he can see it now, in his mind’s eye; shoko nagging him to run her errands, satoru reminding him of his words every time they have a slight disagreement. 

(grab me a coffee. three shots of espresso, one cube of sugar. got it?)

slacker.

(we both know i’m right. don’t be so stubborn, suguru! it’s okay to be wrong sometimes.)

asshole.

(c’mon. you said you loved me, right?

so mean. and here i thought you loved me!)

idiots.

(he does love them. more than anything. even when they’re being absolutely insufferable.)

suguru just sighs, deep and fatigued, already anticipating his doom. ”they’re never gonna let me live it down, are they?”

a giggle slips from your lips, and his heart flutters helplessly. ”probably not. my condolences.”

another sigh. it only makes your smile widen. there’s something awfully delighted, in your eyes, as you cradle his face in your hands. ”well, i thought you were very sweet!”

”yeah, yeah…” he mutters, vaguely amused. placing one of his large palms over your hand, where it rests on his cheek. ”i won’t be doing that again anytime soon.”

a chuckles bubbles up from within your throat. ”aww,” you pout, giving way to a teasing grin. ”that’s a shame. i wanted to hear you talk about how much you love me again.”

suguru blinks. 

then he smiles. a very particular smile, characteristic, one you’ve come to associate solely with him. resting somewhere in the intersection between a soft grin and a teasing smirk. a flicker of mischief shines in his eyes, and you realize your mistake.

you can tease suguru all you want; but he'll always turn the tables on you, at the end of the day.

”oh?” he chuckles, fondly, thumb smoothing over the lines of your hand. his eyes gleam, looking straight into yours, shining with something mildly devilish. ”i don’t need to get drunk to tell you that, baby.”

in a smooth motion, one you can’t help but silently envy, suguru intertwines his fingers with yours and brings your hand to his lips. he never once breaks eye contact, gaze heavy as he basks in your flustered expression, planting a soft kiss against your knuckle. reverent.

”i love you. more than anything,” he purrs, lips still lingering on your skin. warm enough to burn. ”you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

a pause. heat crawls up your spine, and a flush rises to your cheeks. you couldn’t stop it if you tried.

”my everything,” he continues, intent on flustering you as much as humanly possible. voice low and smooth, honeyed and deep, and worst of all; terribly earnest. lips trailing over your knuckles, against every knot, so soft that you barely feel it. ”my entire world.”

”okay, okay!” you sputter, an embarrassed hue to your cheeks, your gaze landing on the windowpane to your right. his stare is just too heavy, too deeply in love. overwhelming. ”point taken. nevermind.”

suguru laughs, genuine and full. warm and amused, deep and real, and you catch yourself thinking that you don’t want to go a single day without hearing it. even if it’s at your own expense.

a coo rests on his the tip of his tongue, but he bites it back, opting to lean forward instead. he trails the pads of his fingers along your jaw, touch like a butterfly, lifting your chin up ever so slightly. then he closes the distance between you. 

in your throat, your breath hitches.

— but he doesn’t kiss you. suguru stops right in front of your lips, so close you can feel his breath on your skin, taking a moment to simply look into your eyes. and despite how flustered the close proximity makes you, you can’t bring yourself to look away. heart fluttering madly, a string of staccatos against your parted ribs.

a tilt of his head. amber eyes gleaming, crinkled and fond. ”can i kiss you, now?” he asks, grinning softly. hand smoothing down your hip, big and warm, teasing. ”i made sure to brush away all the alcohol. or do you still not want to?”

you pause. 

”hey, what happened to not remembering anything?” you pout, narrowing your eyes. the corner of suguru’s bottom lip twitches upwards.

but he only shrugs, feigning nonchalance, a playful glint in his eyes. ”guess i was just that disappointed.”

a giggle flows from your lips. he drinks it in, gazing at you with pure contentment.

”alright, alright... c’mere,” you coo, smile honeyed and sweet. tracing your fingertips along his jaw, brushing a silky strand of hair behind his ear. you take in the sight of him, meeting his lovesick gaze. he squeezes at your hips softly, a little impatient — so you finally lean in.

suguru’s lips are warm, when they meet yours. they taste like sunlight, devoid of any alcoholic flavour, just like he so kindly assured you of. and it’s a little amusing, the thought of him in front of the bathroom sink — desperately scrubbing his teeth, just to get his kissing privileges back. such a dork. 

he’s your dork, though.

suguru sighs into the kiss, smiling giddily, satisfied at last. a sound you can’t help but mirror. he deepens it, ever so slightly, fingers squeezing gently at the plush of your waist. a hum of approval buzzes in your throat, and his smile only grows.

when he pulls away, that smile is all you can see, along with the ever so slight flush to his cheeks. a hint of peach dusting his skin, framed by the sunrays caressing his jaw, highlighting his handsome features. breathtaking. 

before you have a chance to protest, he’s leaning in again, to press one more chaste kiss to your lips. your heartbeat picks up.

everything finally feels just right.

the warmth of the sizzling pan, the fragrance of freshly made coffee and now-burnt pancakes. the light of the morning sun, scattered across the open space of your apartment, splotches of life painting everything in a heavenly glow. the love in the air, all soft and light and comfortable.

domestic bliss. with suguru, who never seems to change, no matter how many years go by. if you could live in this moment for the rest of your life, forever and ever, you’re sure you’d die happy.

and wow, is that a heavy word. forever. 

(but suguru makes it feel so very, very light.)

forever feels a lot more real, like this. cradled in the midst of a drowsy morning, bumping elbows with the man you love most, after getting to take care of him in his most vulnerable state. accepting every part of him, and having him accept you just as fervently. 

just this moment alone is worth far more than you could ever comprehend. 

suguru, with his warm hands, his familiar embrace. your shared laughter, bouncing off the walls of the kitchen as you try in vain to save your scorched pancakes. and his smile, his fervent devotion, coaxing him into eating them even though they’re burnt at the edges and don’t taste even a quarter as good as his. because you made them, for him, and that makes them taste sweeter than anything.

you stare at him, from across the table, admiring the sight you’ve grown so used to; suguru, with his slightly tousled hair, mug in hand and smile painted on his handsome face. drowned in sunlight, pink petals flitting in through the opened window. you don’t want a single day to ever pass without you seeing this. what does that mean, exactly? you think you know. 

it means forever.

(forever, forever, forever. what a pretty word.)

marriage. you think of it, again, let it linger in the depths of your skull, bounce around until you grow just a little more used to it. and it’s a scary thought, for sure. a terrifying thought, even, something so foreign that it makes you nervous. but you truly wouldn’t mind doing this forever — not one bit. not if it’s with him.

and, unbeknownst to you, maybe that promise of forever isn’t all that far off.

maybe it’s only a couple rooms away, hidden within the depths of a certain drawer, until suguru finally gets the courage to bring it out. and maybe, just maybe — that day isn’t all that far off, either.

(suguru smiles at you, from across the table. he thinks you look ethereal, sipping from your morning coffee, blinking tiredly. so sweet and angelic.

all he can think of is forever.)

[buckyalpine]

Choices (Bucky version)

So you all know the fic choices and choices 2 with a cheating Bucky and sweetheart Steve. I couldn't help myself, I decided to also have a version where Steve is the cheater and reader ends up with Bucky. I'm such a Bucky girl, it cannot be helped. It's the same fic with a few details added to suit the character changes, reversed roles and all in one part.

18 + minors dni 

Steve x reader, Bucky x reader

Warnings: ANGST, cheating, Steve is a dick, SMUT, fluff, Bucky is a sweetheart

“Fuck you taste good sweets” 

Your stomach dropped, cold sweat erupting over your body, hearing your husband’s voice and a woman’s moans from your bedroom. You’d suspected it for a while but it couldn’t be true, he wouldn’t. 

You quietly opened the door, slapping your hand over your mouth over the sight in front of you, Steve’s head buried between some woman’s legs, her thighs thrown over his shoulders as he held her open with his thick arms, groaning as he ate her out. She cried in pleasure, tugging his hair forcing his face in deeper, their clothes thrown on the floor, her bra carelessly tossed on the framed wedding picture you had on the bedside table. 

You couldn’t move, rooted on the spot as he pried her legs apart further, making her back arch, his tongue assaulting her clit, flicking and swirling circles around it, his hips grinding his cock into the mattress, moaning. 

“Best fucking pussy ever baby, can’t get enough of you, could cum just from your taste baby fuck”

You felt light headed, leaning against the hallway to catch yourself, slipping onto the floor, unable to leave even if you wanted to. You pressed your hands to your mouth, desperately trying to silence your cries. 

“Oh god Steve FUCK, push your tongue in me baby, just like that, fuck just like that Captain”  You could hear the wet slapping of his tongue, her voice screaming higher as he made her cum with his mouth. 

“C'mon cum for me baby, want it all over my face, oh god m’gonna cum just rubbing myself like this, no one else gets me off like you, FUCK sweets, AH-” 

His moans caused your heart to splinter, the aftermath of their affair slowly winding down to labored breaths and messy sheets. You lifted your head slightly, seeing Steve pull her into his arms, making out with her, his face covered in her slick, his cock softening against his abs. Their tongues tangled, moaning into each others mouths as he pulled the covers up, his arms wrapping around her. 

“You’re wife will be home soon, I should get going baby” She traced shapes onto his chest as he pulled her hand, pressing a kiss onto her palm.  “No, stay just a little longer, 5 minutes sweets, please?” 

The slight whine in his voice begging her to stay make you nearly throw up. Your body felt like it was filled with cement, hearing the woman giggle, snuggling to up with your husband. 

“Hmm, does she make you feel good like I do, handsome?”

“Nothing compares to you darling, don’t worry about her” He murmured with a light chuckle, leaning into her touch while she stroked his beard. "Wish we had a little longer"

She sighed, grabbing her bra off your wedding picture, scoffing at it. 

“You could do better you know, she doesn’t seem like you’re type”

“I do know” Steve sat up, kissing her shoulder as she strapped her bra on “I got you pretty girl, I’ll see you tonight?"

"Won't your wife ask where you're going" The woman had the audacity to sound annoyed though what killed you the most was the way Steve groaned in agreement.

"Don't worry about her, I’ll come over, okay?” 

“Wouldn’t miss it baby, see you later Cap” 

Your heart shattered, sprinting away from the room, down the hall and out the door, sobs wracking your body.

He promised.

He whispered vow’s he’d written just for you. You’d loved him with your entire being, cradling him, taking care of him, pouring your heart and soul into everything that had to do with him.

You already knew the excuse he'd give. He’d say he had a rough day and would avoid you until tomorrow. He’d go to the bar for a drink to unwind, needing alone time and you’d let him because you wanted to give him space. He’d go over to her place, and make love to her for countless hours into the night, seeking the comfort of someone else.

Your love wasn’t enough.  

-

You left the house, immediately getting into your car, driving mindlessly with no particular destination in mind. Your chest heaved, tears blurring your vision as you pulled into an empty parking lot, breaking down again. You sat there for well over an hour, your entire body burning, a ding from your phone interrupting your thoughts. You checked your phone, scoffing at the text message from your husband.

“Going out tonight, don’t stay up.” 

You screamed in frustration thinking about every time you fell asleep on the couch waiting for him, the countless hours of sleep you lost worried about him, calling and texting him throughout the night, wondering if he was okay. The number of times he brushed you off, telling you not to be so clingy. You’d put in so much of your love and affection for this man who didn’t have the decency to tell you to your face he didn’t love you anymore.

The entire world looked up to this man as their hero, Captain America, a symbol of justice, hope, fairness and he couldn't care less to at least respect your dignity and leave.

You felt a surge of anger, how dare he!? Bring another woman into your home, into your bed, your sheets, wrapped around her naked body, her fucking clothes thrown all over the floor. How many times would you have slept in the very same bed after he warmed it with her?!

You could do the same.

You pulled into the drive way, making your way up the stairs, knocking on the front door.

“Y/n? Its late, is everything okay? Is Steve okay?”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, walking into the house, kicking your shoes off. Poor Bucky, always worrying about his best friend, just like you, concerned for his well being, coddling him like a baby. What a fucking waste.

“He’s great actually. He’s currently buried balls deep in someone else”

Bucky choked, staring at you wide eyed as you sauntered around the living room, mindlessly looking at framed pictures he had up, including one from your wedding.

“What?!”

“Mhm, you didn’t know? A red head. Saw them both today, in our bedroom. He was so pussy whipped he didn’t even realize I came home. In fact did you know the great Captain who constantly tells people to mind their language swears like a sailor when he's fucking someone's brains out”

“Fuck, I told him not to- FUCK. I’m so sorry y/n, I didn’t think he’d ever cheat on you”

“You told him not to what?” You turned around, your expression unreadable as you stood in front of Bucky, his face flushed as he looked at the floor before looking at you.

“He’d- fuck- He’d always flirt when we went out. I told him to stop but he said wasn't even doing anything. I thought it was him still adjusting to all the attention but he used to do it in the 40's too. I thought maybe he didn't even realize what he was doing so it was harmless”

You scoffed, shaking your head as Bucky stepped forward, wrapping his thick arms around you. “I’m so sorry doll, I should have stepped in”

“You can step in now”

“What?”

Bucky pulled back, blinking down at you, looking confused as you smirked, trailing your fingers along his chest, going up to play with the dog tags that rested against his chest.

“Step in now James”, You tugged at his chain, his breath hitching in his throat as your lips brushed by his ear “Make it go away”

You could feel his cock stir as you pressed your body on his. Bucky had always had a crush on you. Of course he never acted on it, you were his best friends wife. But here you were, offering yourself on a silver platter, he’d be a fool to say no. Still…

“Y/n” He squeezed his eyes, hoping some blood would return to his brain, his cock aching in his jeans. “We can’t”

“And why’s that?”

“It’s wrong” Bucky's words didn’t  match his actions as he gripped onto your hips, pulling you flush against him, his boner rubbing against you, it was so wrong but it felt so right.

“Tell me you never thought about it?” Your hands trailed down to palm over his length as he groaned, resting his forehead on yours “about us? You never thought about how I’d look spread out on your bed, saying your name instead of his?”

"Y/n"

"Make me forget, Sergeant"

Fuck it.

You screamed out in pleasure chanting Bucky’s name like a prayer, his cock splitting you in half, pulling orgasm after orgasm out of you. Bucky chuckled at your fucked out state, pausing for a moment to let you rest before the next round.

*3 missed calls*

He returned with a bottle of water and some strawberries, feeding you one as you tossed your phone carelessly to the side.

“What’s wrong doll”

“Ugh, he called”

Bucky thought for a moment before grabbing your phone and propping it up, a wicked smile on his face.

“You wanna show him what’s keeping you busy?”

-

You both woke to a loud banging on the door; your body too sore to bother moving.

“BUCKY OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR”

Bucky yawned, wrapping his arms around you tighter, pulling a pillow above his head.

"I think your husband is here" He sleepily mumbled, tucking his face into your neck, the scruff of his beard tickling your skin.

"He's your best friend" You mumbled back, burrowing yourself further into his hold, ignoring the incessant knocking.

“Y/N, I KNOW YOU’RE FUCKING THERE, GET THE FUCK OUT NOW”

Bucky rolled his eyes, his semi hard cock pressing into your ass making you giggle.

“Someone’s happy this morning”

“All for you baby”

You heard the banging get louder.

“BUCKY, Y/N FUCK”

“Should we get that?”

“5 more minutes”

*36 missed calls*

*47 unopened messages*

Oh, this was going to be good.

Bucky groaned, tucking you in the sheets before getting out of bed and pulling some sweats on.

“Y/N, I KNOW YOU’RE THERE”

He rolled his eyes, sauntering over to the door, opening it to a raging Steve, his chest heaving, sweat dripping down his face, the knuckles of his right hand bloodied and bruised. Someone’s upset.

“WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING”

Bucky smirked, his chin glistening, licking your arousal that was still on his lips from mere seconds ago. He made a show of sucking your taste off his fingers, humming in satisfaction.  

“Sorry, just woke u-

“Where the fuck is she?!”

Steve shoved Bucky aside, stomping up the stairs making his way to the bedroom, only to be grabbed back and pushed against the wall.

“Don’t do this, where the fuck is my wife” Steve’s voice was low, chest rumbling as his fists clenched at his sides, trying to collect himself.

“You remember you have a wife?” Bucky cocked an eyebrow, dodging Steve’s fist and catching it with his metal arm before slamming him against the wall.

“How the FUCK COULD YOU SLEEP WITH HER?!” Steve spat, unable to scrub the images of you moaning for his best friend, your legs wrapped tightly around him, crying out in pleasure, begging for more. He couldn’t rid himself of the way you looked slobbering over Bucky’s cock and balls, looking up at the camera with doe eyes, moaning when he came in your mouth, sticking your tongue out to show you swallowed it all like a good girl. You made a show of letting Bucky rail you from behind, screaming his name while he tugged your hair and pushed you down, spanking your ass raw. His dog tags hung between your breasts as he tugged and rolled your nipples between his fingers.

The words were so much worse.

"Come on, ride your Sergeants cock babydoll, that's it, so fuckin' good for me"

"Cock's too big Jamie, hurts"

Your breathy, whiny voice made Steve want to throw up, your lip chewed raw, eyes unfocused.

"Awww, is it too big? So cockdrunk for me princess, I got you love, c'mhere, y'like that? Like when I'm on top my pretty girl, I'll make you feel good baby"

"Gonna be the death of me gorgeous, wouldn't give you up for the world, you hear me? Gonna cum in your princess, can't hold it, you're perfect-FUCK"

“HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON HER!?” Bucky’s grip tightened, feeling rage, disappointment, but also a tinge of arrogance; now he had you and he wasn’t going to let you go.

Steve swallowed thickly, no longer resisting, letting his arms drop to his side. He stared at the floor, guilt and sadness washing over him.

“How could you cheat on her” Bucky’s voice was soft now, genuinely upset over his friends actions. He let Steve go, both men standing in the hallway, the air thick with tension.

“It was a mistake”

“You brought someone else into your home, into your bed, you picked someone else over y/n, what else did you expect her to do”

Steve felt his heart race, he couldn’t lose you like this, he made impulsive choices but you were the one who always believed in him. He started towards the bedroom door again before Bucky grabbed his hand stopping him.

“I want to see her” His eyes were pleading but Bucky shook his head.

“She saw you, you know. That’s why she came here” Steve looked up at Bucky in shock, his eyes wide, he felt like he was going to throw up. Bucky scoffed looking at Steve’s pained expression.

“Just get out”

“Bucky just let me see her-

“Don’t”

Steve’s emotions were running a thousand miles a minute, jealously, anger, guilt, sadness. He drove straight to her house, needing to fuck his pain away, spiraling as he sped down the streets. He went up to her apartment, knocking at the door, hearing another voice behind the door before she opened it.

“Steve? I- what are you doing here, I- it’s not a good time” She kept the door a crack open, without letting him in, her eyes shifting nervously.

“Baby, everything okay?” A man’s voice called her from behind. She nodded, mumbling something to him before stepping into the hallway.

“What the fuck?!”

“SHH, my husband is inside!”

“You said you weren’t together any more”

“I-it’s nothing”

“How the fuck could you” Steve felt his chest tighten, he shouldn’t have even come here, he shouldn’t have been in this position in the first place, it was you in his heart, he loved you.

She scoffed. “You cheated on your wife with me and I’m supposed to hold out for you and expect you to be loyal to me too?”

Steve left without saying another word, anger surging through his body, rage flowing in his veins. How the fuck could he stray from you, he pushed you away every time you tried to take care of him. He took advantage of your kindness, took advantage of how much you trusted him. He couldn’t lose you but you were in his best friend’s arms and Bucky would never do what he did.

The house was utterly destroyed. Anything that came into his hand was shattered against the wall as Steve took all his anger out in the house. Why the fuck did he act so impulsively, how could he let you see that, why the fuck did he let someone else into his life when you were his whole heart.

He stepped into the bedroom, not wanting to touch a single thing that would take away from your presence; he wanted things to be exactly how you left them. He looked at the wedding picture on the table, breaking down into sobs; you were smiling up at him, your eyes bright, looking at him with so much affection. He had his arm around you waist, he promised to love and protect you for as long as he lived. He called you his angel, he told you he’d never hurt you and here he was.

Steve nearly threw up looking at the bed. The sheets were still tangled from that afternoon, pillows thrown aside. He washed them repeatedly, his stomach churning when he could still smell her on them.

Steve thought he was losing his mind, the coldness of the bed. The silence of the house. He could no longer smell your soft scent on the sheets, nightmares plagued his mind. His chest ached thinking about how broken you would have felt seeing him, how meaningless the entire affair was to him and it took away the one thing in his life that gave him a reason to live.

A week later

“Just sign them Steve”

“Baby please don’t do this”

You sighed in frustration having spent hours arguing with Steve as he refused to sign the divorce papers.

“You made your choice, I’m making mine”

“It was a mistake y/n, I- I can’t fucking exist without you-

“You should have thought about that before you fucked someone else in our bed Steve”

“Don’t call me that!” He pleaded with you, hating the way his name sounded, you never called him Steve.

You shook your head, getting up and leaving him with the papers as he cried after you, begging for you to stay.

“Goodbye Steve”

6 months later

You had packed your things, staying with Sarah for the time being until you found your own place. Steve was drinking himself into oblivion, unable to even get drunk from the dark liquid. He hadn’t slept in the bedroom since, staying on the couch instead.

Bucky let himself in the house; not like Steve bothered to lock it any more.

“You have to stop”

Steve scoffed bitterly, taking another swing from his glass, finishing another bottle of whisky.

“Easy for you to say”

Steve felt a pang of anger in his chest, he had no right to be mad at you or Bucky but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t find peace, keeping a sweater you left behind with him when he tried to sleep, crying into it every night.

“Don’t. She loved you”

"But I still love her"

Bucky shook his head, a part of him feeling bad for Steve. He tried so hard to win you back, but the damage was done. The image was burnt in your mind, nothing would ever take that away. You tried to give him one chance but the second he touched you, your mind flashed to the way he touched her. You couldn’t. It was over.

“How is she”

“Doing better. Not great, but better”

3 Years later

You fixed you veil, holding onto your bouquet of flowers as you made your way down the aisle. He stood there, waiting for you, soft blue eyes brimming with tears as he watched you, his chestnut hair combed back, beard trimmed.

“You look amazing y/n” The best man gave you a teasing wink, smiling as you took your place in front of your soon to be husband.  

“Thanks Sam” You grinned,  feeling your face heat up as Bucky lifted your veil, a stray tear slipping out as he look your hands in his, his voice cracking, hardly above a whisper.

“I love you”

***

“You may kiss the bride”

You giggled as Bucky gently cupped your face, pulling you into the sweetest loving kiss, everyone in the crowd clapping and cheering, your heart fluttering with happiness. You were so in love with him; you thought you knew what love and happiness was before but nothing compared to this. This moment; so pure, so full of love.

***

Bucky held you close to him, his hands on your waist as you both swayed to your first dance as husband and wife. His hand tipped your chin up, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips; he was so utterly and deeply in love with you.

“You look gorgeous tonight Mrs. Barnes”

You giggled shyly, taking his hand in yours as the song came to an end. You made your way through the crowd, greeting guests,

“Congratulations, I’m happy for you” Steve smiled softly looking at you in Bucky’s arms. He wanted to mean what he said but his heart was still in pain. He had you and he let you go. He wanted to feel happy for you, happy for Bucky but it was too much. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat, blinking back tears as you looked up at Bucky, in pure happiness.

“Thanks punk” Bucky gave him a quick hug, keeping you by his side as you both continued to greet guests.

“They’re so sweet” Sarah giggled watching you both sneak quick kisses, Bucky whispering something in your ear making you gasp before playfully slapping his chest. Steve felt his chest tighten, getting up and leaving the room, suddenly finding it difficult to breathe.

He closed his eyes. He remembered the way you looked at him when you walked down the aisle. The way you looked so angelic in your dress. The way you danced together for the first time, your arms draped around his shoulders, his hands holding you close. The pure love he felt for you, he told himself he’d never let you cry. All the times he stopped trying because you had enough love for the both of them. He remembered the day he met her.  He hesitated but gave into his desires, the side of him that need to feel wanted by others, thinking you were with him because you loved him but he needed more. To be desired. And now here he was. He’d never be able to love again; it’d never be the same. He had the one person that would love him unconditionally and he threw it all away.

“You gotta let her go” Sam broke Steve out of his spiral, patting his shoulder lightly, giving him a sympathetic smile. “C’mon, I’ll take you home”

Steve sighed, as he watched longingly. The shy smiles, gentle touches, whispering sweet nothings to each other, he’d never get you back. You’d found your forever, your happy ending.

-

"M'always gonna love you, you have my heart" Bucky whispered against your shoulder, his bare skin pressed against yours as you both caught your breath. His fingers gently grazed your scalp, kissing your forehead, a part of him still wondering if it was all a dream.

The woman he loved so dearly under him while he made love to her on their wedding night.

Her soft thighs wrapped around his waist.

Her moans of pleasure all just for him.

All of his spend filling her up time and time again until he had no more to give.

It was all too perfect, too much too-

"And you have mine" You whispered back, draping your arms around your husbands shoulders, your hand snaking up to card your fingers through his hair, "I love you too"

And just like that it was all perfect.

[theladyheroine]

🥞 Pancakes 🥞

Movie! Shadow x Platonic! Reader

Genre: Fluff, Cozy, Silly

Word Count: 1,503 words

⚠️ Warning: None, except little embarrassment

Summary: Hi guys! I got excited about my last Shadow fic so I wrote another one! The songs I used are this one & this one btw, but this fic is more casual than the previous one so it’s much shorter too. Inspired by when my Mom recently caught me dancing (lol).

I want to spend my life 

With a girl like you!

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba,

Faint words filtered through Shadow’s ears as his eyelids fluttered open. It took him a while to fully realize he was awake, but thankfully he didn’t feel too heavy. He rested for a minute before sitting up and scooting over to the bedside. 

It wasn’t very bright, surprisingly. He saw the blinds had been left open and the dark gray sky filtered over the room. Raindrops scattered across glass, making a rhythmic noise, but it felt nice. 

Till that time has come, 

That we might live as one!

Can I dance with you?

Perking up at the cool words, he shuffled his way towards the door and into the hallway. The sound grew louder before Shadow realized it was music playing, and a buttery smell accompanied it. 

Most of the lights were off since it wasn’t exactly dark out, but only one or two yellow lights shone above the kitchen stove. With you moving and swaying there in a very strange manner. Shadow would hardly call it dancing: you were just bobbing up and down, tossing your head and holding a spatula to your face. If he didn’t know you prior he would’ve thought you looked foolish. But you were his friend now, he wasn’t about to judge. 

Girl, why should it be 

That you don't notice me?

“Can I dance with you?— OhmygoshShadow!!"

You yelped loudly as you quickly jolted back, surprised— and embarrassed— to find Shadow standing behind you. Your spatula knocked into a bowl of pancake batter, sending a blob of beige-white goo down to the floor. 

“Ohshoot-sorry! I didn’t see you there bud!” 

“No, I should’ve said something.” 

You rushed to grab a paper towel and swipe the batter off your tiles, but Shadow beat you to it. 

“Nah, it’s all good! I should’ve been paying attention.” You chuckled and grabbed another one, soaking it under the sink then cleaned any excess mush. 

“Is that The Troggs playing?” Shadow asked, tossing the mess into the trash can. 

You quickly lowered the stove temperature and nodded, “Yup! They’re awesome huh! I love their songs.” 

You were about to scoop up some more batter, then paused for a minute. 

“Wait—You know The Troggs?!” You exclaimed, swinging your face back around. 

“Mmhmm,” Shadow nodded. “I’ve heard only one song, until now.”

You gave a mental “huh” before going back to your pancakes. Even hedgehogs had good taste in music. Who knew?

It had been a full month now since Shadow started living with you, and even without teleportation, he still had ways of surprising you.  

You were home all day since it was the weekend, but Shadow had spent most of his time in his room. He usually did; if you weren’t up and about neither was he. In a way, he was like your own little shadow. You never pressed what he did alone, but judging by his expression, he had just woken up from a nap. 

“What are you doing?” Shadow peered over the counter, quills twitching with curiosity.

“Just makin’ some pancakes. They’re a little crispy though.” 

You slid a slightly burnt piece onto a plate. The pretty golden circles stood in a short stack and gave off an amazing smell. You could see Shadow lean closer as his red eyes grew bigger. 

“They’re…pancakes?” He stated his words as if asking a question, but to himself. Which made you curious. 

“Yep! I know it’s weird having breakfast for lunch, but I wanted to make something different this time.” 

“Uh huh.” He drawled. “They smell nice.”

His brows scrunched up and down, spreading more confusion across his face as Shadow watched the pan sizzle. Pancakes seemed like such an alien concept to him, ironically. 

“Shadow?” You asked. “Have you ever had a pancake before?” 

He paused again, but shook his head. “No. Are they any good?”

“Uh–yes!! They’re delicious!” 

To say you were surprised was an understatement: how could he not know about pancakes? 

Until the realization hit you that he probably hasn’t even seen pancakes before. You didn’t know where Shadow came from, and have avoided mentioning it in the past. Even after you became friends. In all that time spent together, you hardly knew a thing about him. And he still seemed reluctant to share. 

Movement shook you from your daze as Shadow picked up your spatula, poking the goo in the bowl like a little kid. His story would have to wait for another day. Your top priority: showing him the best brunch ever. 

Life could be a dream! Life could be a dream!

Do do do do, SH-Boom!

Your phone quickly changed its tune as The Chords started playing. It couldn’t have picked a more perfect song. 

“Why don’t you give this a try Shadow!” You scooted the pan closer to him, turning off the heat and switching it to the other side. 

“Me?” He fumbled with the spatula. 

“Yea, why not! Don’t worry I’ll help you.” You gave a cheeky grin, “Besides, it’ll be fun to learn. Right?”

Shadow opened his mouth to reply, but shut it quickly. You had always made meals for him, or either helped him make them. Even when you were gone there’d always be something from the previous night, or wrapped up in plastic. 

But you had a point, he couldn’t rely on you for everything. Especially now. If he was going to stay, he’d have to start pulling his weight around. 

“Alright,” He tugged back his gloves and set himself behind the stove. “I’m ready.”

You poured a cup of batter into the pan. For such a serious character, he looked so adorable.

You two waited for a few minutes before you set your hand on his arm, helping him flip the pancake to the other side. It shifted a little, making tiny splatters, but the color was perfect. For the second one you let him do it himself, and it looked far better than the first.

Life could be a dream! SH-Boom!

If I could take you to a paradise up above,

SH-Boom! And tell me darling, 

“I’m the only one that you love!” You shimmied back and forth to the music as Shadow continued to pour and flip the batter. 

For a first timer he was doing incredibly well! Fast even; his pancakes came out looking far better than yours! To which Shadow claimed could only come natural to him. You shot a surprised look, but you were happy seeing him loosen up. After a little while, Shadow even joined in your silly dance moves. His shoes tapped along to the beat, and you could see his body bouncing as he mouthed the lyrics. You tried giving him a little bump of encouragement, til he stopped and looked at you strangely. 

“Wow!” You coughed, “You’re really getting the hang of this bud.” 

Shadow rolled his eyes but he kept smiling. “Thanks. This is..easier than I expected.” 

After a short while, you two had a full stack of pancakes. You quickly shut off the stove and tossed the bowl into the sink. Maneuvering the food to the countertop, you pulled out two little plates. You were about to grab the butter, but Shadow beat you once again. 

“Can I do it?” The container looked so small in his big hands. 

You nodded and found a plastic knife in the drawers. Leaving Shadow to butter the pancakes while you looked for the syrup. 

You came back from the pantry with a tall bottle in your hands, and to say Shadow was amazed was a clear understatement. The light in his eyes when the dark syrup trickled down the edible tower was enough to brighten any room. 

You two settled at the table, plates in hand. Meals were typically had together nowadays, but each time it felt different somehow. Shadow had come a long way, going from a worrisome little thing to a happy hedgehog! And you couldn’t be prouder.

“‘Kay bud, dig in!” You pushed your fork into the food and Shadow did the same, cutting it into bite sized pieces. 

Everything seemed normal, until after a few bites Shadow stopped. He just sat there, chewing, but his expression quickly changed. It wasn't confusion, more like—a blank expression? 

“Shadow?” You said through your food. “You doin’ okay there?”

Oh how you hoped he didn’t grab the burnt one.

In an instant, Shadow took a larger piece and shoved it in his mouth. He only half chewed before doing the same thing. He did this three more times and it took him about a minute to finish half the plate. 

Syrup coated his mouth, and he swallowed hard before speaking. “You were right. Pancakes are the superior choice.” 

That was all he said before stuffing his face again. 

“Yea-I-erm—yea! Well, I’m glad you like them!” 

You rushed over to sink and grabbed a cup of water. Thinking next time, you should just make eggs instead.

❣️—THE END—❣️

[katsu28]

Hi, I really like your writing! I had an idea for a fic with Lando. He left school really young (he got tutored privately afterwards according to wikipedia) and mayhaps that could make him feel insecure or something along those lines if he has a significant other that is in university, maybe studying to get a bachelors or masters degree. School is not everything and does not accurately measure intelligence or anything else but it is still a standard that most people hold and compare themselves too. It's something that I know all to well, which is where this idea came from. Whatever you do with it thank for reading it!💖

thank you for trusting me with your idea <3

lando norris x reader, r is in an unspecified master's program, 1.5k.

Lando loves how smart you are.

He tells you all the time. When you’re stressed from the intensity of your master’s program, nervous about an exam, or most of the time, just randomly. He’s proud of you for taking on something he definitely doesn’t have the brains for, and for absolutely crushing it so far. 

He left school before even completing his GCSEs in year 10, just so he could focus on racing full time—a decision he’d never regret, but always wondered about.

What would his life have looked like if he hadn’t devoted it to pursuing a career in racing? Would he have finished secondary school? Made it to university?

He doesn’t even know what he would’ve studied. 

Granted, he was never really good at school to begin with, but things could’ve changed. Now don’t get him wrong, he would never change a thing, but that didn’t mean he never thought about what might’ve been. 

So yes, Lando loves how smart you are, but if he’s being honest with himself, it does make him feel a little insecure about his own intellect.

-------

Lando finds you in your workspace when he gets home from padel with Max. 

He’d turned one of his guest rooms into a sort of office slash study space for you when you moved in with him all that time ago, a place where you could get your work done in a quiet environment whenever you needed to. The space itself was one of the smaller rooms, but still bigger than you were used to, and decorated to perfection too. 

A standing desk with an ergonomic chair (better for your neck and back, he’d said, so you weren’t hunched over your books all the time), a smart blackboard on one wall for any necessary brainstorming, a comfy chair in another corner—all overlooking the Monte Carlo cityscape from massive floor to ceiling windows. Everything else has been up to you, but Lando wanted nothing but the best for his smart girl. 

He pads in silently, making his way over to where you're furiously typing at your computer to press a kiss to your cheek. You flinch a little, startled out of your own world at the action. Your eyes fly to his, wide, before your posture relaxes again. 

“Oh, hi! Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in,” You breathe, giving him a short kiss on the lips this time. 

“Didn’t mean to make you jump like that, darling. My bad,” He chuckles. He leans over your shoulder, squinting at the diagrams on your screen. “What’s that?” 

“Oh, it’s—” You pause, flicking through a few pages of the textbook next to your computer. Your lips twist to the side in thought, and then you smile at him in what he’s sure you meant to be an assuring way. “Nevermind, you probably wouldn’t get it.” 

He knows you don't mean it as a dig or anything, but the brush off ignites a bitter taste on his tongue. And if there’s one thing about Lando, it’s that he feels everything extremely strongly. “Well I’m sorry, not all of us can be geniuses.” 

“Pardon?” You look genuinely stunned at his outburst, at this huge 180 degree turn his mood has taken within the last few seconds.

Then he can't help the words tumbling out of his mouth next. “I get it, alright? ‘Lando doesn't know what I’m talking about, let’s make Lando feel dumb!” 

He storms off before you can process his stinging words, but even then, the anger that had just flared up in him has already dissipated. Lando knows all of it comes from a place of insecurity, that little nagging feeling at the back of his brain telling him that even though he’s happy where he is, happy doing what he does for a living, he could’ve made something different of himself. 

You leave him alone for a while before coming to find him, presumably to let him cool off. He feels awful about what he said now. Honestly, he hadn't even meant to say it out loud, doesn’t know why he said it. It’s not like he meant it. 

A knock from the doorway of the bedroom draws him out of his guilty thoughts, and he looks up to see you hovering just behind the threshold. He hates how you look hesitant to approach him. 

You press your lips into a thin line once his gaze meets yours. “Can we talk about what just happened?” 

“It’s nothing. Just forget I said anything.” 

“It’s obvious you’ve been holding onto those thoughts for a while, so no, Lando, it’s not nothing.” 

“I don’t wanna fight,” He mumbles, eyes glued to his fiddling fingers. You seem to notice his sudden quietness because your expression softens as you cross the room to sit next to him. 

“We’re not fighting. You’ve got something on your mind, and I want to know so I can help,” You reply, shifting to face him. He can tell how you're trying to keep your voice as level as possible. “Please let me help.” 

Lando chews on his bottom lip, unsure. You say you want to help, but he's worried that if he tells you what's really going on, you’ll think it's silly. It is silly, really, him feeling insecure because of how smart you are. But if he doesn't tell you, you’ll think he doesn't trust you, and he does trust you. He trusts you with everything. 

Then you say his name again, softer this time, and you’re looking at him like you’ve done something horrible, and he sighs. 

“Sometimes I feel like I’m not smart enough to be your boyfriend. You get all excited about your research when you talk about it,” He sighs, shrugging clumsily, “and I want to understand it because I wanna be able to get excited about it with you, but I just don’t get it. And it makes me feel stupid.” 

“I didn’t—Lando, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. I didn’t mean to, I—” 

He shakes his head forcefully, grabbing both your hands in his. “No, that’s not what I meant. You never make me feel stupid. It’s my problem, really. I just…I’m not really known for my brains, yeah? Came to terms with that a while ago.” 

“You’re smart, Lan,” You insist, brows pinching in the middle. “You’re so smart, what’re you even talking about?” 

“We talking about the same person here? I never even finished school. Wasn’t too good at it before I left either.”

“There’s more than one way to be smart, y’know,” You continue. Lando tilts his head curiously, not unlike a puppy would. “You’ve got amazing people skills, you’re creative beyond anything I could’ve dreamed up, you’re well balanced with your emotions. Not to mention the amount of skill and strength it takes to do what you do everyday, at the level you perform at.” 

“No, but that’s different. I could never do what you do, remember all the stuff that you’ve had to.”

“And you think I could do what you do?” You ask, giving a disbelieving chuckle. “Genuinely, if I got put into the cockpit of your car, I wouldn’t even be able to start the bloody thing, let alone drive it the way you can when you’re being bombarded with information from all sides during a race. If you put me in front of a group of reporters, if I had to do even a fraction of the press appearances and sponsorship events you do, I’d probably shit my pants.”

Lando wrinkles his nose in slight disgust. “That’s nasty.” 

“It’s true though! I can’t do half the things you can, but that doesn’t make me any less smart. It just means we’re smart in different ways. So what you never finished school? School isn’t the only way to measure how intelligent you are. And Lando, you’re beyond intelligent.” 

His shoulders sag with the long sigh he releases, and he lists to the side, slumping over onto your lap. “Sorry for lashing out,” He murmurs, cheek pressed against your knee. He rolls over onto his back, gazing up at you with truly apologetic eyes. “I didn’t mean what I said, I was just being a dick.” 

You hum noncommittally, stroking a hand through his curls. “You’re allowed to have feelings, Lando, it’s alright.” 

“Yeah, but what I said was just mean, and I didn’t—I wasn’t thinking straight. You don’t deserve to be snapped at like that.” 

“Makes up for all the times I’ve snapped at you during exams, so…call it even?” You ask, leaning over him with a soft smile. 

“We’re even.” He lifts his head, craning to reach your lips, and you chuckle a little bit, but meet him halfway in a gentle kiss. 

It’s an I’m sorry kiss, a I forgive you kiss, a I’ll always support you kiss.

A no matter what you say, I’ll love you forever kiss.

This fact, Lando knows for sure, even though a little bit of him still thinks he’s not quite as smart as you.

follow @katsu-library to be notified when i post new fics :)

[so-much-for-the-seashells]

Logan Howlett, the man you are. (Headcanons!!)

Minors, do not interact.

A/N: Y’all. I’ve been in a writing rut, but something about Logan- and Huge Jackedman, by extension- regaining his moment in the spotlight has gotten me back at it. Hugh was 1000% the reason I found out that I have a thing for dilfs, and let me tell you, I ain’t mad about it. To quote one author, who I can’t remember off the top of my head but wrote a KILLER breeding kink fic for Wolvie, “before there was Jensen Ackles, there was Hugh Jackman.” If you know me or my work, you know I’m a Jackles girl, but Hugh? Hugh will always get me going, whether he’s a ringleader, a robot shadow boxer, or otherwise.

TLDR I’m so in love with Hugh/Logan again. I always am, but I’m really on fire rn. Don’t worry, I will be continuing the 2SC series, but I needed this.

As always, all interaction, especially your words, is so very much appreciated!! I hope you like this one! Also, thank you for 120 followers! This account is maybe three months old, this is an insane milestone.

CW: it’s really just soft with a side of spice, the most flavorful being daddy/breeding.

-first of all, this man is a the biter.

-and it’s not always in a sexual sense

-he’ll just walk up to you and gently graze his teeth against your exposed shoulder or neck

-especially at night, after sex or not. He’ll be holding you close- you’re the little spoon ofc🎀- and just nibble on the juncture of your neck and shoulder while you cuddle into him

-honestly, it doesn’t hurt. And he only leaves marks if he wants to, ie when he’s balls deep inside of your little cunt OR wanting to remind the world who you belong to

-he’s just got a bit of an oral fixation is all

-speaking of which, he could be between your thighs for the rest of eternity and he’d be fine with it. He LOVES when you tug on his hair as he makes you squirm, only needing one strong hand to hold you down

-he goes feral when he sees you wearing his shirts

-loves to throw you over his shoulder and to play fight

-he’s interested in anything you’re interested in

-mans can’t cook to save his life but adores watching you and “helping”

-aka being all up in your business when you’re literally just trying to chop an onion

-he can be clingy. Not in a whiny way, in a playfully annoying way.

-will always find a way to make you late to anything. Sometimes it’s for the sake of a quickie, other times it’s because he wants one more kiss or to see the last five minutes of whatever show you guys watch together

-if you’re into daddy, he’s into daddy. Especially if you’re significantly younger than him

-he likes to squish you- your boobs, tummy, ass, wherever. He loves your body for what it is and loves you

-this man is so in love with you, by the way

-he’s old as hell but if you teach him how to text he’ll text you sporadically throughout the day. Sometimes it’s really blurry, almost impossible to decipher, pictures of things that remind him of you, other times it’s “When will you be home?” even though he’s already called you to ask four times. That’s mainly on his days off though- if he’s not doing something or you then he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

-that’s not to say he’s not always thinking of you. On missions, wherever, you’re the first thing in his mind. Give him a locket with a picture of the two of you and chances are he’ll wear it forever

-oh back to the other one he totally texts like an old man. If you try to use slang, or even just use “u,” you’ll confuse him so bad that he’ll think he’s in the future or that you’re speaking a different language. He also doesn’t like emojis, unfortunately 😞

-he’s got a sweet tooth. Loves to bake with you- he can’t cook but he can make a mean batch of snickerdoodles. No one knows why, and he’ll never offer any explanation.

-speaking of sweets that’s why he loves eating you out so much, because you taste so sweet to him

-and all of his nicknames are sweet based- sweetheart, sweets, sugar, etc- with the exception of darling which coming from him would put anyone on their knees immediately

-speaking of being on your knees he loves when you do it. Not as much as he loves eating you out, but he does enjoy a solid blow once in a while

-he’s a sucker for cockwarming, even if it’s barely sexual. Just as a way to be close. If you don’t mind him smoking he’ll smoke a cigar while you do so, and get into a nice soft headspace

-the kink of his that annoys him the most is breeding. He doesn’t want kids (unless you do, which is its own conversation. Personally I don’t so works for me haha) but when he’s balls deep, pushing you into the mating press, it doesn’t matter. Especially if you’re in a place where he can fuck you raw all the time- ie you take the pill, have had a hysterectomy, etc- then he will, and he will always spill his seed deep in you, mind filling with pictures of you all round and swollen and cute even if it’s impossible

-however it is hot when he gets in that headspace regardless of if kids are in the question or not

-hang on I thought of something else and then I forgot it

-uhh

-oh that’s it. Praise. Loves getting it, loves receiving it. If you’re more receptive to degradation he’ll give you that, but he loves telling you what a good girl you are

-also has a blast with brat taming

-anyways back to the soft stuff

-he loves domestic life. Curling up with you on the couch with fluffy blankets and snacks, watching rom coms and other cheesy movies

-he’ll rest his head in your lap if you’re drawing, crocheting, reading, etc

-he loves being petted. Your hands in his hair, tracing his muscles, whatever. It makes him so happy and it’s soothing for him

-and we all know how he’s mr gruff n tuff, right?? Well if he’s really eepy and lying on his lap while you stroke his hair, there’s an ever slight chance you can get him to purr. Don’t tease him about it, though, or he’ll get super self conscious

-if you like to workout he’ll work out with you

-he really likes to box to blow off steam, but if it’s with you and you’re not a fellow mutant it’s more play fighting than anything, but it’s still fun

-he’s a sucker for cheesy dates

-call him ‘Lo’ or ‘Wolvie,’ or any nickname that fits him. He thinks it’s adorable, and owns it. He also gives you like fifty nicknames of his own.

-he loves long walks on the beach if it’s accesible, hiking’s also fun to him

-he’ll never take his anger out on you, ever

-he loves reading with you, just sitting in comfortable silence with your respective books

-that’s all for now!!

If you have any ideas for ficlets or headcanons, my asks box is always open!! Xx

[wikiangela]

tease tidbit tuesday

tagged by @diazsdimples @tizniz @daffi-990 @disasterbuckdiaz 💖

a little more of the cheating fic and finally an eddie and buck scene lol I feel like I haven't posted them together in this fic in a while haha but I just finished chapter 3 last night (so about halfway done, maybe even more!), and I think I'm mostly happy with it, so here's a lil snippet

prev snippet

___

“Chris has been asking about you.” Eddie says, and out of all things, somehow this is not what Buck expected him to say. “You haven’t come over in a while.”

“I-” Buck pauses, forcing himself not to say the first thing at the tip of his tongue, which is something along the lines of ‘oh, so we’re talking again?’, but he doesn’t want to ruin it, not when Eddie’s actually talking to him after way too long. And it’s not like it wasn’t Buck’s fault he stopped. “I didn’t think you’d want me to.” he says instead, quietly and shyly.

“Buck.” Eddie sighs heavily, reaching into his locker for his jacket, still not looking at Buck. “No matter what happened, or is or isn’t gonna happen, you’ll always be our family, you’ll always be important to us, and you’ll always be welcome in our house. Always.” he emphasizes, glances at Buck with those sad eyes, then looks away again. “I don’t wanna ruin that.”

“Oh. Well, I don’t, either. You and Chris are so important to me, Eddie, you have no idea-” he rushes to say, but cuts himself off before he says something he doesn’t mean. Or worse, something he does mean, but can’t take back. “And I- I’m so, so so sorry for risking it all-”

“It wasn’t just you.” Eddie shakes his head, puts his jacket on. Then, finally turns and looks Buck in the eye. “We both made some pretty stupid, shitty decisions, and I’m sorry, too. That wasn’t how this should’ve happened. If at all.” he adds quickly, blushing. Shit. Eddie wanted that, he still does, and he- what if he loves Buck? What if Buck’s being a dumbass and refusing what could be the best thing in his life? “Listen,” Eddie says after a second, with a heavy sigh, “take all the time you need to figure shit out, but just tell me whenever you decide what you want, like I said. I’ll always be here, Buck. And I’ll always-” he stops, shakes his head again. “But now, can we just…?” he trails off, waving his hand between them, gesturing vaguely. Buck chuckles, always understanding Eddie even without words.

“Yeah, we can.” he can’t help a relieved sigh. It’s all getting back on track.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @thebravebitch @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @puppyboybuckley @weewootruck @loveyouanyway @spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @spotsandsocks @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @hoodie-buck @nmcggg @rogerzsteven @hippolotamus @giddyupbuck @sunshinediaz @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @exhuastedpigeon @fortheloveofbuddie @911-on-abc @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @theotherbuckley @buddieswhvre @dangerpronebuddie

[kykyonthemoon]

Comfort Sweets

Unable to contact you for hours, Zayne decides to bring a box of macarons to your place.

ಇ. Zayne x Reader|MC

ಇ. Tags: fluff, soft fluff, sweets, comforting, emotional hurt & comfort, new established relationship

ಇ. Word count: over 1k

ಇ. Requested by Oreo.

ಇ. Masterlist ♡ Request a fic

Zayne stood outside your house one day. A few beads of rain remained on his shoulders and hair, but the box of macarons he cradled in his hands was completely dry. On the way here, he had stopped by the bakery and deliberately chose for you the lovely macarons in this box. He wondered if it would be too sudden if he came to visit you.

Zayne had only reconnected with you not too long ago. Over the time spent together, he could say that he had become closer to you. However, he did not dare to dream too much. You vanished unexpectedly the same day. You did not come to the hospital to see him as usual. You had not seen the messages he had sent you in the last several hours. Worried that something was wrong with you, he decided to come to your apartment to check on you.

After a time, the door opened. He sighed with relief as he saw you standing inside. Yet, you appeared exhausted with unkempt hair and a pale complexion. You were taken aback to see him here; perhaps it was not the best time to invite guests to your home. However, you kindly welcomed him inside. 

Zayne set the macaron box on the tea table in the living room. He noted your sluggish demeanor and how you avoided looking at him directly. He spoke up:

“I brought you some sweets. Perhaps it will help you feel better.”

"I'm okay." You dismissed it. You acted as if Zayne could not see your red and swollen eyes, which told him you had been crying a lot.

“You say you're fine, but you're still not in the mood for sweets?” 

Zayne sat down on the sofa, placing one hand on the empty mattress next to him and softly patting it. He waited for you to get down before opening the treat box. 

“There are chocolate, oranges, almonds, strawberries, blueberries, green tea too…” 

Zayne went through each macaron with different colors. Just looking at them would make a gloomy day brighter. You chose the one with your favorite taste but had yet to eat it. Zayne saw you clutching it in your hands and asked:

"What's wrong? Don't want to eat it?"

“Thank you, Doctor Zayne…” You replied, your voice still wavering slightly. “I'm just a little tired…”

He put a hand on your forehead. “Your temperature is a bit high, but it's not a fever.” 

You gave a soft smile, took his hand and held it. “I'm fine.”

“Is there anything you want to tell me then?” Zayne inquired, knowing you had something in your mind.

You glanced at him for a time and then said nothing. You ate the macaron in your palm and remained silent for a long time thereafter. 

Zayne stopped staring at you. He got up and went to the kitchen to get water for both of you. Even though he had only been here a few times, he could remember the correct places where you put your stuff in your apartment. He noticed some new decorations in the kitchen.

While fetching water, he kept an eye on you in the living room. The usually cheerful girl, who always appeared mighty and could talk for hours to his ear, had become curiously withdrawn. He wondered whether something had happened to put you in such a bad mood. Or did he inadvertently make you upset with his dry conversations, or did his hectic schedule keep him from being with you much?

Zayne was terrified that he might unknowingly push you away. He had never dated anybody before, and he had never poured so much love into one person like this. So he would be furious with himself if he said or did something that upset you by mistake.

Zayne returned to your side once you had finished eating the first macaron. Your expression had improved a little, but the silence was still like a knife slashing into his heart. He wanted to hold you in his arms so much. Did you need his comfort? Or did you just want to be alone, and his being here made you even more uncomfortable?

Zayne was ready to say something, but you were the one who broke the silence:

Thank you, Zayne. Thank you so much for coming here... Otherwise, I'm not sure how long I'd have been sitting here sobbing..."

You decided to share with him, at last. Zayne listened patiently as you expressed all of your inner emotions. You had just had an argument with a long-time friend, who went behind your back and did something terrible. Such treachery left you heartbroken. But when you told Zayne, it seemed like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. Emotions flowed out with words so naturally.

“The person who betrayed your trust is no longer worthy of your tears.” Zayne said, his hand reaching out to touch the corner of your teary eye. 

“Yes. I know... But I... I feel so sad and resentful..."

Zayne glanced at the open box of macarons on the table. “How about having one more? I know a girl whose mood would be brightened right away with just a little sweets, no matter how gloomy her day is."

You covered your face with both hands and grinned faintly. "That girl is so easy to coax!" But, in the meantime, perhaps a macaron isn't enough."

Zayne looked at you, unsure of what you were implying. Then you got closer, wrapping your arms around his waist. You rested your head on his chest. 

“She might need something even sweeter.” 

He heard your whisper. The corners of his mouth curled up as he patted your head. "That girl is quite difficult to coax. She wants sweets and cuddles all at once."

Zayne felt your arms tightening around him even more. You stated:

“The only person who can comfort her is Doctor Zayne!”

He smiled, tenderly like the way he was caressing your hair. He leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of your head. The talented Hunter did have weak times like these, which made him beyond pleased to be your supporter. He continued:

“Then every time you encounter something unpleasant, let me know.Doctor Zayne will always be available to listen and comfort you.”

[mioons]

𝓉𝗈𝗉𝗂𝖼 — 𝓈𝗎𝖻𝗍𝗅𝖾 𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗌 𝗈𝒻 𝗅𝗈𝓋𝖾 ( OT7 ♡ )

𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 — enhypen OT7 x fem. reader 𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗋𝖾 — fluff, est. relationship 𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 — none 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍 — 540

ε( ε ´O`)э。゜how they love you silently 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾 — i was gonna post sunoo fic then i got another idea 𝒸𝖺𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗎𝖾

lee heeseung always remembers what you tell him. every word that comes out of your mouth; heeseung will always make a mental note of it. none of your words will ever enter one ear and go out the other if you’re with him.

that restaurant you wanted to go to the other week? he’s already made reservations. those shoes you were planning to save up for? don’t worry, he’s already bought them for you.

whenever park jongseong brings you out on dates, he always notices how your eyes shift toward his food but you wouldn’t say anything about it.

after a while, he realised you wanted some of his food as well. so every time he brings you out for meals, he’d make sure to give you your favourite piece of food from his meal. he always wants to make sure you’re satisfied and well taken care of.

sim jaeyun knows you’re a clumsy girl. but of course, he still finds you adorable and you’re still his precious girl after all.

so whenever you drop something; like a pen while studying or your utensils while eating and you go underneath the table to retrieve it, he would always make sure to put his hand on the edge of the table where you were sitting to make sure you don’t accidentally hit your head when coming back up.

although park sunghoon may be aloof and unreadable at times, he definitely knows how to read his girlfriend's mood.

if you two were out and you suddenly went a little quieter than usual, he’d ask if you wanted to go home or if you felt uncomfortable, he’d use his thumb to rub the back of your hand to put you at ease. and if you were happy, he’d smile along with you.

kim sunoo isn’t the type of guy to share his food with people in general but since you’re his precious girlfriend who always seemed to want a bite of his food, he would always comply and share his with you.

if he was eating a cookie and you wanted some, he’d willingly break the cookie in half and give you the bigger piece, not minding that he would eat a little less if it meant he could see the cutest smile on your face.

yang jungwon doesn’t want to make you feel left out or unheard. how could he ever make his darling feel that way? no matter how silly your conversations are or how mundane they may be to others, jungwon will always always listen to you.

he’d nod his head every few words and give you his undivided attention. he’d smile at every word you spoke and chuckle at your lame jokes.

you and nishimura riki always walked home together no matter what. always walking along the bustling streets with him hearing you go on and on about your day, how bad the food tasted or how the weather was too hot for your liking.

while you two walked home, you would always walk onto a pathway beside a road. instinctively, he’d always go around you to stand closer to the road so that you were on the inner side of the path. just to make sure you were safe.

luvlyhee 2024 taglist:: open

୨୧ — @en-gelic @dioll @chaibugs @hoonion @jakesangel

[cartierre]

NIGHTS LIKE THIS | ob3

❝ It's night like this when I need your love ❞

synopsis: and if only one night is meant for the two of us, is it worth falling in love for?

pairing: ollie bearman x fem!reader warnings: sweet, flirting, making out, angst, google translate italian word count: 4k

author's note: inspired by 'nights like this' by the kid laroi! there is a name drop towards the end but throughout the majority of the fic, reader's name is not mentioned.

The gym was packed with loud teenagers, all talking at a rapid speed trying to overcome the booming music that echoed through the big speakers. Everyone was dressed in gorgeous evening wear, most of the girls adorned glittery dresses while the boys stuck to traditional black suits. There was some finger food displayed on tables on the side, bowls filled with alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks quenching the students’ and teachers’ thirst. 

Ollie found himself misplaced among the Italian teenagers. He had only moved there a year ago and since he entered Formula Two, he barely attended any of his classes. He wasn’t even sure how exactly he had graduated, just that the heavy burden of getting good grades got lifted from his shoulders. 

At least one less thing he had to worry about.

His parents were long gone, only having stuck around for the official ceremony until they left him to “have fun with his fellow peers”. It’s ironic, he thought, since he didn’t even know most of their names.

The drink in his hand only had a few sips left, the prosecco leaving a bittersweet taste on his tongue. He felt a soft buzz from the alcohol, but ultimately decided against getting wasted with people he didn’t even fully understand. It was partially his fault, he never cared enough to pay attention in his Italian language class. 

“Che tragedia!” (How tragic!) He could hear his Italian teacher in the back of his mind. “Your Italian è terribile!” (Your Italian is terrible!)

Tugging at his tie around his neck, he feared he was close to suffocating from all the noise around him. Placing his drink on some of the tables splattered around the hall, he excused himself to no one in particular before sprinting up the stairs in the hallway leading up to the rooftop. He only found out about the spot a week ago, having got lost inside the school and accidentally ending up there.

The fresh air hit his face, though he immediately noticed that it wasn’t much cooler outside than inside. The Italian weather played against his plans, the sun not even fully set as it smiled against his cheeks.

Pulling his tie loose, Ollie still felt more relieved to have left the sticky gym. He felt stupid for not just going home with his parents, why did he decide to stay? It’s not like he had any friends to celebrate graduation with.

“Seems like I’m not the only one in need of escaping.” 

Only then did Ollie see a girl next to him. 

She leaned against the railing, a cigarette dangling between her manicured fingers. Her hair fell down her back, framing her face softly. She wore a black dress, way more simple than all the other girls he had seen, yet so elegant. He couldn’t help himself but glance at her breasts being pushed together by the dresses neckline. Ashamed, he quickly stopped analysing her.

“Cat got your tongue?” She smirked at him, raising her eyebrow as she took a drag of her cig. “Isn’t that what you English people say?”

“You know me?” He asked, perplexed that she knew about his nationality. Did he look that British?

“I’ve read about you.” She shrugged. “Wanted to know more about the futuro della formula uno, the future of formula one, that is supposedly my classmate.”

“I’m not even a Formula One driver.” Ollie corrected, though he felt the tip of his ears get hot from having such a beautiful girl call him the future of formula one. “And I’m even less of a classmate, probably.”

“Well, officially you are my classmate. Or were.” She smiled. “And once you’ll become a world champion I’ll brag about having been your classmate. Even if I’ve never seen you in person up until now.”

“Not sure about the world champion part, yet.” He shrugged, his hand gripping the railing as if he was about to fall. 

“Oh, he’s so humble.” The girl teased him, giving him a slight punch in the arm naggingly. “Well, the newspapers seem sure about it. You being champion material, or something like that.”

“The newspapers say a lot, whether it’s true or not.” He felt his cheek burn in embarrassment. Ollie wasn’t one to push his ego, he’d rather prove his worth on track than talk big without having anything to show for.

She didn’t say anything. Her eyes scanned over him, as if analysing him from top to bottom. He didn’t know what was going on in her head, but right now he wished he could read her mind. She took another drag of her cigarette, and even if Ollie despised the smell of tobacco, he somehow liked it when she smelled like it. 

Gosh, what was he thinking? He didn’t even know her, yet somehow he felt so serene next to her.

“Why do you think so little of yourself?” She settled to ask after a minute of observing. 

“I don’t.” He simply answered, though his voice was quivering, unsure of what he should’ve said.

“You’re a bad liar.” She chuckled. “Your posture says differently. You’re unsure of yourself and your abilities, but why?”

“I guess…” He cleared his throat, her intense analysis of him humbling him even more. “I guess I don’t want to put the same pressure and expectations everyone puts on me on myself as well.”

He turned to look at her, finally gathering enough courage to do so. Her head was tilted to the side, her lips wrapped around her cigarette to take one final puff before throwing it on the ground and stepping on it. 

“Wanna get out of here?” She asked instead of reacting to his words.

Ollie was taken aback by her request, admiring her boldness of asking straight away rather than talking around it. Without wanting to sound arrogant, Ollie was used to girls asking him for certain things. Sometimes, he loved the attention, especially right after a good race, but with her he felt shier than ever. 

So it surprised him when he answered confidently.

“Sí.” (Yes.)

With another smirk towards him, the girl clearly satisfied with his answer, the two of them sneaked back down again to escape the facility. He sucked in a breath of fear when he saw her grabbing a bottle of prosecco nonchalantly before exiting the school. Ollie was sure they’d get busted for stealing, however none of the teachers seemed to care much as none of them even batted an eye.

“They have enough of that stuff,” She said as she saw his face drenched in worry. “Don’t act like we’re stealing anything valuable. Also, I bet Ferrari has paid them enough to let you pass so think of it as a little gift.”

He had never encountered someone like her, Ollie realised as she popped the bottle the minute they stood outside. Taking a sip straight from the bottle, she let out a sigh. “They have the good one as well.”

Offering him a sip, she pulled out another Vogue cigarette and lit it with her lighter. “I don’t assume you smoke, but regardless, do you want one?” She said as she held out the pack in front of him.

Ollie hesitated a bit, but ultimately declined. He was sticking to the prosecco. 

“Figured.” She shrugged and shoved the pack back into her little purse. 

“So- uh- where to now?” He asked, taking another sip of the drink. He felt himself growing more nervous every minute he spent with her. 

She smiled, taking his hand boldly and running off into a certain direction. Ollie stumbled forward, not expecting her approach, but then took off behind her and followed her blindly. 

At that moment, he would’ve followed her anywhere.

Giggling uncontrollably, she kept turning her head around to him from time to time. Her hair was flowing behind her as if she was from another planet, somewhere where beauty lit up the night. Her beauty certainly lit up his night.

“Come on,” she slowed down, taking small breaths, her cheeks slightly shiny from the sweat. “It’s not far.”

“Where are you taking me?” Ollie’s face was flushed, his locs sticking to his forehead from all the running. The summer air was hitting his face and he felt warm under his suit jacket. 

“It’s a sorpresa!” She just said, opening her mouth slightly and nodding towards the prosecco in his hands. 

His brain malfunctioned for a second, then started acting without thinking. In a smooth motion, he poured some of the liquid into her mouth, accidentally spilling some. The alcohol ran down her chin, trailing down her chest and inbetween her breasts. 

Ollie felt hot, and this time it wasn’t just the summer heat.

She laughed after gulping down the sparkling wine, wiping her chin with her hand, careful not to smudge her lipstick. 

“Ehi!” (Hey!)

Ollie ducked down, as if he would dodge a bullet, from the sudden shrill voice coming from above. The girl kept laughing, ignoring the old woman screaming at the two from her little balcony. 

“Silenzio!” (Be quiet!) The old woman yelled at them again, raising her fist as if to curse them. “È tardi, idioti!” (It’s late, you idiots!)

“Non essere così duro!” (Don’t be so harsh!) The girl yelled back, still giggling. “Vivi un po', nonna!” (Live a little, grandma!) She stretched out her hands like a starfish, twirling around until she stumbled. 

Ollie was quick to wrap his hands around her waist, keeping her from falling to the ground. Only when she was gripping his biceps to steady herself, he realised how close he was to her. 

“Vai via da me!” (Go away from me!) The grandma kept yelling, Ollie not understanding anything the two were saying. “Voi due piccioncini...” (You two lovebirds...) She mumbled and shook her head, making her way inside her house again and leaving the two on their own.

“Arrivederci!” (Bye!) The girl giggled, waving the old lady goodbye as if she didn’t just curse at them.

“Now the last bit I got.” Ollie joked, stepping away from her again. He took a sip from the alcohol, feeling like that was the only source keeping him stable for now. 

“Look at you, little Italian.” She joked back, brushing her hand against his chest before reaching up and loosening his tie even more. She had to step on her toes to reach him, despite being in heels, then patted his chest when she was done. “Don’t want you to suffocate.” She whispered, giving him a flirty look before stepping away and nodding towards the end of the small alley they were in. “This way, follow me.”

When she turned his back to him, he threw his head back and prayed to whoever to help him get through without losing his mind, before following her yet again.

Eventually, and without any other disruptions, the two of them ended up outside a small pizzeria, which surprisingly was still open. There weren’t many people inside, just your local neighbours and a few drunks getting their snack. 

“Aahh!” The owner smiled as he saw the girl enter. “La mia piccola stella!” (My little star!)

“Zio Enzo!” (Uncle Enzo!) She greeted him, sharing their kisses on each cheek as accustomed in Italy. 

They continued talking in Italian, Ollie gathering one or two words here and there from his lessons, but not enough to properly follow their conversation. He realised his teacher would normally talk at a much slower pace, probably to help him understand each word clearly, though now it seemed of little help to him.

“... Formula…?” The owner looked at Ollie, eyeing him up and down. Ollie felt uncomfortable, not knowing what exactly they were talking about, and awkwardly smiled at him. He waved at the owner, not sure what else to do. 

“He’s your friend, no?” Finally, the owner switched to a language Ollie was able to understand. “Il tuo ragazzo?” (Your boyfriend?)

“No, no.” She shook her head, side eye-ing Ollie quickly to see if he had understood what Enzo had asked her. He didn’t seem so, as he stared cluelessly at her.

“Welcome, welcome!” He reached over the counter to greet the young boy, patting his cheek before stretching his arm out to his co-worker. “A pilota di Formula uno in my pizzeria! Francesco, can you believe it?”

“I’m not a Formula One-”

“Una pizza napoletana da asporto per favore.” (One Pizza Napoletana to go, please.) She interrupted him, smiling at the owner sweetly. 

“Ovviamente!” (Of course!) The owner smiled brightly at the two young people. “Pizza Napoletana to go, Francesco, did you hear that?” He turned back to the couple. “Ready in about fifteen minutes. You want something to drink?”

Ollie held up the half empty prosecco bottle, making the owner laugh out loud and nodding in encouragement before getting back to the other customers. 

“So, that’s your uncle's shop?” Ollie asked, trying to open a conversation while waiting for their pizza. 

“Oh no,” The girl shook her head, laughing a bit. “Everybody here calls Enzo their uncle. He’s been here forever, we all grew up eating his pizza.” 

“Oh.” Ollie’s face got hot in embarrassment. 

She laughed at him, slightly punching his arm when she noticed how red he got. “Is that a British thing?”

“What do you mean?” He was confused by her question.

“You get red all the time!” She exclaimed. “I look at you and you’re flushed. At first I was honoured to make you blush, but now I think you’re just like that constantly.”

He was like that constantly just because she was there. But she didn’t need to know that.

“Yeah, I guess it’s a British thing.” He scratched his neck, his face hot again, lying to her face since he didn’t want to admit how flustered she makes him ever since they met.

“It’s a cute British thing.” She slightly pushed him, grinning from ear to ear. “Don’t stop.”

He couldn’t even if he wanted to.

“Pizza Napoletana for my little stella!” 

Taking the pizza carton, the two bid their goodbyes to Enzo before continuing their way down the small alleys. Along the way, Ollie felt her hand intertwining with his again. He didn’t protest.

“We’re here!” She yelled laughingly, letting go of his hand to run forward. “Come on!”

They found themselves at the beach, the small town behind them glittering in the water as the lights reflected on the surface. There were nearly no people on the beach, surprisingly, and Ollie had to hold back his laughter when he saw the girl getting rid of her shoes to feel the sand between her toes. 

“I love the beach.” She said when he came up to her, pizza in one hand and prosecco in the other. He placed both of it carefully on the ground before taking his jacket off, laying it down onto the sand to somewhat protect them from the sand. 

Sitting down, he realised just how close they were to fit into his jacket. Though he wouldn’t ever complain about it. Sharing the pizza, the two of them were silently enjoying the view and food, sharing a sip of prosecco every once in a while, emptying the bottle. 

It’s gotten late. More and more of the few people around them started packing up their stuff. Ollie’s phone had no more battery left, so he was unsure just what time it was. Looking to his right, he also didn’t care what time it was. 

The two were now laying on the beach, their heads sharing the space on Ollie’s suit jacket. Next to them was the empty pizza carton next to the prosecco bottle. They’d clean it up later. 

“... and that’s Andromeda, named after the Ethiopian princess saved by Perseus. She was chained to a rock, being sacrificed to the sea monster Cetus.” She pointed towards the sky, tracing the star constellation she just talked about. “You see?”

He couldn’t really decipher any of the constellations she pointed out to him, Ollie just liked listening to her talking about something she was passionate about. So he nodded, humming in agreement.

“You’re not paying attention!” She scolded him jokingly, shoving his shoulder with her own and giggling when she noticed how she ripped him out of his trance. 

“No, no, I was!” He tried to defend himself. 

“Really? Then where is Andromeda?” She raised her brow, her lips stretched into a smirk. 

Clearing his throat, Ollie turned his head to look at the stars again, randomly pointing at the bright points decorating the night sky. “See, right there.”

Laughing at his attempt, she just shook her head and took his hand into hers. Stretching his pointy-finger out, she helped him slowly trace the Andromeda constellation. “She’s right here, glowing beautifully above us.” She whispered, her eyes soaking up the beauty of the stars while his eyes were drowning in hers.

Slowly, her hands holding his traced each of his fingers. They went over his knuckles, following the lines on the palm of his hand before stopping on his wrist. None of them talked, enjoying the silence and the feel of each other's skin while the waves splashed softly in the background. 

She felt him staring at her from the side, finally turning to him and meeting his eyes. Their hands were still up in the air, though she dropped hers when he felt his hand coming down. He cupped her face gingerly. 

His thumb traced her cheekbone, just as her fingers used to trace his hand, until they stopped at her lips. Her lipstick had been long gone after they finished the pizza, though Ollie found himself enjoying her natural lips just as much as her painted ones. 

He softly swiped over her lips, feeling the shaky breath she let out on his thumb. He couldn’t stop staring at them, wondering what they’d feel like on his lips, what they’d taste like. 

What she would taste like.

“Now or never.” She whispered, making his eyes snap back at hers. 

He leaned over her, using his elbows and free hand to stabilise himself to not crush her with his weight. “Sì?”

“Sì, Oliver.”

Ollie groaned, his full name sounding so appealing when it came out of her lips, and suddenly he’s never felt so sure about something. 

He leaned down, pressing his lips against hers. He was sure he'd never felt so many butterflies going around his stomach. He had goosebumps all over his body, his face flushed yet again and the nervosity fading away with every passing second.

His hand cupping her face moved to her hair, his fingers entangling with her hair and his body moving more and more on top of her. He felt her hands wandering up his back towards his neck, pulling him towards her. Her hands settled on his chest, her nails scratching over the fabric of his dressing shirt. 

His hand, previously holding him up which now his knees did, settled on her waist, tracing small circles over his dress. Her legs wrapped themselves around his waist, her back arching upwards and pressing against his chest.

Ollie felt himself going crazy when he felt her whimpering against his lips, his mind on autopilot as he kissed her down the neck, sucking on her pulsing point which had her moaning and panting. Her nails scratched against his scalp, the slight pain making him groan against her skin. 

“Ollie-” She gasped, throwing her head back as she felt one of his hands tracing the curve of her boob. “Oh Dio…” (Oh God…)

Hearing his name, Ollie snapped out of his trance. Breathing heavily, he pulled away from her slightly to calm down for a second. “Fuck…”

Her taste lingered on his lips, the feeling of kissing her consuming his whole. He knew they needed to stop before things got out of hand, he figured she realised that exact thought as he looked into her eyes. 

Ollie rolled over, leaving the space on top of her and settling down next to her.

There was silence between them, the sound of the waves mixing with their heavy breathing. Suddenly, she started giggling beside him. Not knowing why, Ollie felt the urge to just join her. 

Both giggling, neither of them sure why, and yet the two of them understood each other.

She sat up, looking down at him sideways. “I think it’s time to go.”

Ollie wasn’t sure if she knew how crushing her words were. He wanted to freeze this moment, freeze this moment with her. If it was up to him, he’d never leave this night. 

But it wasn’t up to him, so he stood up and helped her do the same. Dusting the sand off of themselves, Ollie grabbed his suit jacket and shook it before placing it on her shoulders. She smiled at him, and he was sure her eyes sparkled as much as the sky above them. 

They disposed of the carton and bottle in a trash can in front of the beach. The alleys ahead of them were completely empty and Ollie was sure it must’ve been the early hours of the day by now. 

Neither of them shared many words on their way home. He was dreading the moment they separated, and feared making conversation would only speed up the time until then. So he settled for just holding her hand, and she settled for clinging onto his arm. 

But talking or not, eventually they reached the hotel Ollie was staying in. 

“I guess this is it.” She entangled herself from his grip. “Pilota di Formula uno.” (Formula One driver.)

“Doesn’t have to.” He whispered, his eyes searching the depths of hers. “England isn’t that far away, you know. And there are races here in Italy.”

She just smiled at him. “Don’t forget about me when you’re on top.”

“I don’t think I could ever forget about you.” He breathed out.

“Forever is a pretty long time.”

“Not long enough.”

She chuckled at his response, shaking her head. “You’ve gotten a lot bolder ever since the beginning of the night.”

“Learned from the best.” He winked at her, making her laugh out loud. He felt himself grow prideful, he made her laugh again. Oh how he loved her laugh.

“Yeah, your future girlfriend can write me a thank you postcard from England.” She teased, though her joke fell on deaf ears. He didn’t laugh. 

Awkwardly, she looked at her feet. Now she felt herself grow hot within her.

“I don’t even know your name.” Ollie realised out of the blue. 

She looked up at him, now grinning again and feeling relieved at the topic change. “You didn’t figure it out?”

“Figure out what?” He asked cluelessly. 

The girl outstretched her hand. “I’m Andromeda.”

Playing along, he took her hand, slightly bent down and softly kissed the back of it. “Pleasure to meet you, Andromeda.”

“The pleasure is all mine.” She chuckled at his antics, lightly bowing back at him. They both laughed at their situation.

“Drive safe, Oliver.” She smiled sadly at him, both of them knowing it was now finally the time to say goodbye. “And if you ever find yourself back here, maybe stop by Zio Enzo’s pizzeria, alright? Maybe you’ll find me there.”

“I’ll be looking for you.” He breathed out before taking one final step towards her.

Cupping her face again, he pressed a lingering kiss against her lips, cherishing this moment one more time. She melted into him instantly, her hand falling flat against his chest. 

Parting, they breathed each other’s air. His thumb traced her lips again, his rough skin tasting salty against her tongue. He looked deeply into her eyes, memorising their sparkle just like the star constellation she was named after.

“Addio mia stella.” (Goodbye, my star.)