#also why does tumblr fight me every step of the way for images

[chairteeth]

BOY DO I HAVE THOUGHTS ON ANIME TOUKA! Please, I invite anyone who wants to ask me about my faves to do so, I assure you I will always have thoughts and I am constantly very excited to share them. So first of all, I take the anime as a sort of alternate continuity, but I don't think it changes anything about the characters, therefore to me it only ever added to my understanding of a character. Prime example, Touka and Nemu. In this case lemme talk some more about Touka and how the anime portrayed her.

Firstly, I was very glad that despite the time constraints, they actually portrayed my girls the way I would have wanted them to (evidently, had I been in charge, I would've made it just a touch gayer). What I mean by that is, well, this is a reblog of "Nishi's very long rant about how people never stop to think about the mental health of younger characters because ageism goes brrrr", so I think you know what I'm referring to. Touka was, from a certain point on, under immense pressure from literally anything. It's the type of pressure that would break an adult, let alone a child. She doesn't lash out just because she's immature or impatient or arrogant (though there are pieces of that at play here), she lashes out and gives into impulse because she's stressed out of her mind.

That mostly applies to the Magius era, you might think. And yeah, you'd be kind of correct, if not because trauma is a scar that doesn't go away so easily. ESPECIALLY for a child. I'm not gonna go in-depth about the long term consequences of that stress on Touka, but in the anime we did see her have A Little Bit Of A Mental Breakdown when she remembered what she'd tried to do to Iroha and all that, and in the anime they showed us a bit of the pressure Touka was under. We also saw something that I don't believe we've seen more than once or twice ever for Touka and Nemu, and that is direct verbal communication.

You know in Season 3 Episode 2, when Touka gets her memories back and all, and she needs to actually ask Nemu why she hid the truth from her? Nemu explains, then Touka firstly retains her calm, states her conclusion so that Nemu can confirm if she understood correctly. She does that twice. Once she gets her second confirmation is when she outright slaps Nemu, which Iroha seems shocked by but I do love that she doesn't interfere because frankly this is not something she should ever try to disrupt. Importantly, after the slap and one shouted question that is not seeking an answer but rather communicating disapproval/disappointment, Touka doesn't keep yelling nor does she slap Nemu again. Not only that, but you know what Nemu does in that situation? It's something subtle they do more often than you'd think. She surrenders her will. Touka does something similar in the game's Arc 1 Chapter 10, at one point, when she wavers in her convictions and sounds insecure about what to say or do, until Nemu steps in, and then Touka follows. I don't know if I'm explaining myself properly, but when you take a closer look, they do this enough times that it shouldn't be ignored. They rely on one another for direction. I'll probably talk more about this in another essay but that scene in the anime was one of my favorites. Heck, Nemu directly asks Touka what she wants to do (most of the time, they do not communicate so directly, the way they communicate is its own fascinating topic).

To continue with that scene, Touka then calmly, very calmly, explains her side of things. I'd like to point out much like I did in the essay above that her voice in this scene lacks the usual cheerfulness or anger, she doesn't have a mask on right now. There's a scene in the game's Arc 2 Chapter 5 that is our only voiced instance of Touka and Nemu alone together, and she sounds exactly the same, if a little more neutral. The tones of voice can be so telling with these two I swear- but anyway, back to the post-slap scene itself. Nemu, without prompting, reassures Touka of her own feelings about the matter, and that is the moment where they know they're on the same page again. The second Touka says that having those memories means she can do anything, they both know what they're going to do. All they're doing is reinforcing each other's understanding. Iroha even seems confused the more they talk. But they get it. And then Touka tells Nemu she was right to hide the truth from her in light of the risk (this is also where they start doing that thing they also have a bit of a tendency to do, which is sharing a personal space bubble, but shh, that only matters for my shipper brain's interpretation of this relationship, just ugh come on they're even forehead to forehead in this part). Nemu apologizes again, and does something we rarely see (because they rarely communicate on camera, verbally, and directly, which means we've basically only seen this once or twice before in the game). That being, she admits emotional vulnerability. I like to think the subsequent forehead thing is Touka's way of reassuring her without interrupting her in that moment, like a squeeze of the hand, since she's the one who'd have to bend over to reach eye level with Nemu.

Iroha, by this point, is terribly confused. She does not realize every message those two just exchanged in front of her. And hey, I'll say it, I think this is better than the game's instant "oh no we were wrong and bad let us help". Fully conscious of everything now, they both turn on Iroha to finish their mission. They put her in timeout and go on to pilot Eve into Walpurgisnacht. I'm not sure if they had a plan to get off of Eve before the big shockwave that would occur from the two megawitches clashing, or if they were exhibiting yet another typical TouNemu behavior (dying). I'm leaning towards the latter, considering Nemu tells Iroha that in the timeout corner, she will be able to survive the shockwave. Unless Nemu can make another one of those barrier thingies for herself and Touka, well. We know how that would end. They also do something that is also interesting here, that being they take complete responsibility for everything. They tell Iroha that none of this is her fault and that it was all them, and they almost sound parent-like when they tell her that when she wakes up, all of the scary things will be over. Then they decide to get back to making Their Mistake. Very gay indicative of good mental health of them, certainly (/s).

After this, they even fight Iroha and the others for a bit. For the most part, it's mask time again, at least until Iroha hits a nerve later. Iroha manages to "convince" them to stop, only for them to see things getting bad later and then doing the getting on the same page thing again but with less words to essentially pull off a kamikaze attack fully aware of what they were doing and without a second thought! Very TouNemu of them.

That's the most organized I can make my thoughts on short notice, at least, so I hope you enjoyed that? It's hard to talk about one of these two without talking about the other soooo yeah. And, random tidbit since the anime has been brought up. Thank you Nemu for adding driving skills to the Rumor Spreader exclusively so that it could safely drive your princess who hates walking to places, very sapphic of you. Plus the whole slap scene and subsequent events. Very intimate of you both, girls. Highly "our lives are bound and where you go I will follow, even death" of you. Extremely sun and moon analogy. Typical TouNemu behavior.

Actually if you'll allow I must squeal and throw screenshots on here about the. Hhh. Them. They're so sweet... Soulmates...

"The Many Masks of Touka Satomi"

So I actually wanted to refine this certified word vomit of mine before I put it anywhere buuuut I figured this would be a good time to let it out of its containment zone. This is essentially me overthinking the crap out of everything ever and coming out of it with this interpretation of Touka in particular. Informal essay under the cut! It will have extra tangents! And I blend a bit of what we were shown in the anime into my interpretation, but this is game canon.

Whenever Touka is discussed, the words "child", "immature", "selfish", and "arrogant" are the ones most often thrown around. There is usually not much more discussion after that. Well, I'm not here to say it's wrong, it's correct for the most part, I'm just here to draw attention to the fact that there's so much more to her than meets the eye. So, hear me out, if you would.

Touka's levels of vulnerability in the Magius era. That's already interesting by virtue of it being the Magius era. That's a really interesting era. Ui was what brought Touka and Nemu together and Ui was the cornerstone of their relationship for a while, so losing that RETROACTIVELY kinda makes you wonder exactly what their memories of the hospital era became. How exactly the two of them met, became friends, came to share a room, etc. Because the quotes are from their Magius selves and so we know they very much remember being roommates for a long time and still consider each other reliable and trustworthy (also the entirety of Nemu's swimsuit costume story which spawns many questions when you stop to think about it but I will touch on that some other time). We know that in reality, the hospital trio began to share a room after Touka, in her infinite princess behavior, asked her dad to put all three of them in the same room because it was annoying to walk between the rooms so often (source: TouNemu Christmas alt quotes). Interesting choice on her part back then considering she seemingly wanted Nemu out of the way, but I will touch on that another time because the hospital era has its own analysis.

Okay then, let's talk about Touka's role as a Magius. A leader. One who shoulders the burdens of the many. She willingly exposed herself to the weight of a whole people's sorrow, pain, grief, anger. And then she chose to lead them. To avenge them. It may not have started that way but it sure as heck got there at some point (thank you anime for helping out with this point). Now, I want to stop here for a moment and remind everyone that during Arc 1, Touka was 11 to 12 years old (as per the JP script, she is 12 by the end of it). Not only that, but if you pay attention, you'll notice the stress of Nemu's declining health is killing her. Nemu is quite literally the only person Magius Touka shows genuine concern for. This one person she cares about more than anyone else, slowly dying for the plan. For the cause. And as the sort of "main leader", Touka can't back down. She just can't. It would be not only a betrayal to "her people", but also to the one closest to her, the one who has arguably sacrificed the most for their salvation. So then, with someone as full of herself as Touka, someone seemingly so arrogant... What about her own health and wellbeing? What about her own sense of self? Because I have a feeling she doesn't really have one.

The way she always emphasizes the genius aspect of herself and even uses it as an excuse and brings it up so often feels like that's all she sees herself as. Nemu gives, yes. Nemu has similar issues. But hers are much, much more obvious. Less concealed. Touka gives without measure, without the slightest care for herself. She's selfish and at the same time one of the most selfless characters. There's also the interpretation that, at their very core, Touka and Nemu both just wanted to live. But I feel like that was only at the beginning. If that was all there was to it, the plan would not have continued with Nemu's life at risk, Touka would not put herself in the line of fire. Essentially, Touka has taken on way, way too much responsibility, as well as crafting several masks. Don't forget, just like every other magical girl, she led a double life the entire time, and she financed a lot of the cult's operations. Though I don't have any doubt many of the richer members contributed to the budget with their ridiculous allowances that they do not use.

Touka had to hide from everyone. She couldn't show her true self to anyone. Not her father who loves her so deeply, not anyone else in her civilian life, not her subordinates, Alina is not the most warm and welcoming to be around... so her only option is Nemu. That's comfortable. That's familiar. But. Then there are the many, many feelings she has about Nemu. It's, complicated you see. Touka feels many ways about Nemu. For starters, if their memory of Ui is gone, it means all of the warmth and kindness Ui had must've taken another form, which explains the difference in their bond, how they seem so much... closer, as Magius. Either way, even back then, Nemu is the only one who would understand. Touka Satomi is an actress. Everywhere else is her stage, and Nemu is backstage. So, Touka can only ever be truly 100% vulnerable with Nemu. Yet she still didn't do it. I don't think Magius Touka ever really fully 100% relied on Nemu. She may have wanted to, and she does call her reliable in her quotes. But well, with Nemu's health getting worse and worse, she may have come to the conclusion that it would be for the best (health-wise) if Nemu didn't have to share her burden.

However, Nemu's declining health also brought something else. Touka took on another role: the protector. Nemu is practically helpless during the mid to late Magius era. Not completely helpless, she's still a strong magical girl, mind you, but could drop or have an attack at any time. We see this multiple times such as in Mifuyu's MGS, her own MGS, and she even has what is basically a stroke during Arc 1 Chapter 8, 4:02:36 - 4:03:43 in the video if you want to take a listen (I have a Magius Nemu essay in the works, don't you fret). Therefore, Touka has to be alert and ready to respond immediately. Which I think is why we see more of Alina outside than Touka. Touka lingers around where Nemu is and only hesitantly hands her over to Alina or Mifuyu when she absolutely must. Other than the sheer pain of watching Nemu bleed herself dry and being unable to do anything about it, not because she physically can't, but because she can't in a different sense... she also can't revert things back to the way they were, for all of her genius and medical knowledge she can't help Nemu, she can't help her best friend feel even a little better. This leads us to the undeniable fact that Touka is very, very unstable and volatile as a Magius. That's not the impression she first gives at all, of course.

Arc 1 Chapter 6 is where we first meet Magius Touka. She's calm, with a cold cheerfulness to her, calculated. Most importantly, I feel like the reason she was the one doing the lecture instead of literally just sending Mifuyu was because she recognized Team Mikazuki as a possible threat and specifically did not like Iroha, which was also why she lied. The one and only thing Touka lied about in her lecture: Iroha asked where Nemu was, Touka said they parted ways after being discharged. Blatant gigantic lie. And seriously, the only reason she'd have to lie about that and in that specific way would be to protect Nemu. At that point, Iroha and her team have wiped out a handful of uwasa, so she must have known. But yes, this is not at all how she really feels or what she really thinks. This is just another mask (I will talk about Touka's plastic smile and Nemu's poker face ANOTHER TIME). Because she needs to nip any aspirations Iroha may have in the bud, hopefully recruit more Feathers, and neutralize the threat that is Team Mikazuki.

What happens just as she's starting to go off the deep end? How convenient, it seems Yachiyo and Iroha have spent a good amount of their time destroying uwasa, thus wasting Nemu's repeated sacrifices, and forcing her to make more in order to meet their energy quota. Honestly, who wouldn't be losing it, at that point? So close to salvation, so close to freedom, so close to being done. And they're ruining not only the plan but also everything it means for her and the person she loves most. When you really think about it, Touka's mental health was, forgive the crude language, IN DEEP SHIT throughout Arc 1. Not that it was great before or that it improved too much after, but yeah, I do believe people do not give this enough thought.

Finally, with all of this in mind, as for the topic of this rant being Touka's levels of vulnerability as a Magius... There were none. She had no choice. At first it was fine. At first, before the gears turned too fast to stop, she could deal with it. She could confide in Nemu, even a little bit in Alina or Mifuyu (though not much), but it got worse and worse. Mifuyu was clearly blind to all of this the entire time (she, much like everyone other than Touka, didn't seem to care that Nemu had to give up her life force for each uwasa, and if you disagree I will point out the scene at the end of Mifuyu's MGS as one of my more than five pieces of evidence). Alina likely didn't care enough, and Nemu was probably too exhausted, although the concern must've been there. In summary, Magius Touka stands alone in her mind, and with her mind. Arc 1 was practically a descent into madness for her. When you start thinking about things from Touka's perspective, you start to see how abysmal her mental health was.

As part of my conclusion I'd like to say that honestly, it makes sense why she gave off the feeling of being lost for a decent chunk of... everything after Arc 1. What is she supposed to do without a purpose? What is she supposed to do without anything or anyone to tell her what she is and who she is? Not to mention the fucking ton of bricks to her face that must've been getting her memories back. I do not know how she didn't break. I legitimately do not know how she survived. During that little "lost" stage she had, I got the feeling she'd relapse back to her suicidal tendencies. It was... less "a feeling" and more "exactly what canon did", it's just slightly (badly) disguised.

ANYWAY. What I mean is that the children are complex and I ask everyone to have more respect and more compassion for them. I will be back with more about the performer and her backstage, hopefully in a more organized format.

[gothmikasagf]

Hi! I’ve been following this blog for a bit and I love that you are having a HH phase, bc same. Can I get a matchup for the event?

★Gender and pref: I’m a he/she and choose how I present myself based on the setting bc I’m not that open with ppl (yeah, I think it’s important to express yourself but realistically that won’t get me far in certain settings in my country); no gender pref but I’m not too fond of some writing choices when it comes to women in Viv’s works, depends on a character though

★Style: kinda rockstar gf vibe? Sometimes softer colours too

★Personality, hobbies: I’m social and extroverted. Usually that leaves me as a leader of whatever group I’m in. I have a little bit of a hater in me, but I don’t show it if ppl don’t encourage it. I do like when it’s being enabled though. It’s not convenient when you’re in a position where ppl ask you for opinions and actually follow your guide, yk, if I manage an event I’m not going to go around shit talking everything. It feels nice to have someone who does that though, makes it easier to join in and not feel like a jerk (or at least be jerks together I guess??). I write my own songs and am in a band as a backup vocal. Kinda proud that it’s my band but I need to get better until I step up as anything more. I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I like to tease ppl if given the opportunity. Others say I’m flirty. Bold with it at that. I’m ambitious too. Kind of a big thing but I have npd (if you want to look it up without reading scientific papers, go on tumblr, bc the rest of the internet is filled with ‘demonic narcissism’ bullshit) and it influences the way I am. I care lots about my image and don’t have a ton of empathy. I don’t go kicking puppies, but it’s noticeable how I lack in this department. Sometimes people say I’m ’too nice to have it’ cause i do well with kids and do all the youth group volunteering. Also, I do some martial arts and other sports. Kinda sceptical of romance at this point cause I had lots of it and I don’t mix well with a lot of people, but maybe I could do something serious for once if I had the right person. I try to be responsible and respectful but I have no issue finding my place at a wild party or something. I'm pretty chill in general, but I can be soft-er if I want, like with children or if the few ppl I actually am close with (I've got many friend groups but I struggle to make meaningful connections) need me. Usually I just stay my highly analytical, laid back self and say my silly little comments every once in a while. Heard I’m pretty funny if I want to be. My love language is acts of service. I like small things and I do them a lot. I can do words too, but I don't care for them in return. Like, you can be an asshole (up to a limit, I know my worth) and it’s cool with me if I see you have your ways of caring like putting on a song I like in the car

★❤️&💔: love movies like Fight Club (my fav), American Psycho and Donnie Darko; hate sharks, they freak me out; my fav book is The Catcher in the Rye; hate it when people push me to open up and be emotional; love music and I unironically had a few guys play songs AT me and I actually like that too, tho I get why ppl clown on that

★My type: I like people who are more negative than me and aren't afraid to shittalk everything. Just saying whatever, not caring if they offend ppl (up to a point, some issues aren’t debatable ik). Don't really care for morality (to a certain point, again) if you're charismatic and fun to be around, I’m along for the ride and happy to support whatever you get yourself into. I think I would get along with someone who had a little npd too, I like to be able to relate to my partner a bit. If they work somewhat similarly, I don't have to struggle with understanding some stuff, bc I already know how to manage an ego or grandiose behavior. As for looks. Idk, I don’t have a set type. I think ppl that are bigger than me maybe? I’m pretty athletic so it’s not hard, but I guess that’s been a pattern? Also, I do enough of leading as is so in relationships, I don’t mind watching from the side and supporting whatever my partner is doing

-★🎶

I love that for us anon^^

I match you with...

Husk!

Man is definitely a hater too. I can definitely see both of you just talking shit about whoever you don't like.

Doesn't mind your flirtations but don't really expect him to reciprocate unless he's out to fluster you.

Silently supportive of your hobbies and your band. He likes that you're a perfectionist but won't let you overwork yourself to the point you forget to take care of yourself.

Demonstrates he cares for you through little things, he won't make a big fuss about it.

Watches whatever movie you like and is there to listen to you if you want to talk about it.

He's pretty chill with anything so you wouldn't have to worry about being judged.

I feel like you would definitely understand each other, he has toned down a lot since his overlord days.

Likes having you sitting at the bar and just be in your presence. If you shit-talk Alastor in front of him he's yours forever.

Hope you enjoyed it and I didn't mess anything up (feel free to reach out if so).

[noemilivv]

Love the blog theme and colours! Esp the header. Can I get a HH matchup? The description is mostly pasted from another ask I did before, but like, I really don't have a new way do describe myself. Idk if this is as bad as sending the same propmp to two blogs, lmk cause I don't want to be disrespectful here

★Gender and pref: I’m a he/she and choose how I present myself based on the setting bc I’m not that open with ppl (yeah, it’s important to express yourself but realistically that won’t get me far in certain settings in my country); no gender pref but I’m not too fond of some writing choices when it comes to women in Viv’s works, depends on a character though

★Looks: my style has a rockstar gf vibe? Sometimes softer colours too. I'm 5’7, athletic but not ripped, gray eyes and wavy blonde hair. Ironically (in this context) lots of ppl call me an angel/angelic-looking. Not going to lie, that feeds into my ego a little bit but I don't really get what they mean. I wear makeup too, love the fox eye trend

★Personality, hobbies: I’m social and extroverted. Usually that leaves me as a leader of whatever group I’m in. I have a little bit of a hater in me, but I don’t show it if ppl don’t encourage it. I do like when it’s being enabled though. It’s not convenient when you’re in a position where ppl ask you for opinions and actually follow your guide, yk, if I manage an event I’m not going to go around shit talking everything. It feels nice to have someone who does that though, makes it easier to join in and not feel like a jerk (or at least be jerks together I guess??). I write my own songs and am in a band as a backup vocal. Kinda proud that it’s my band but I need to get better until I step up as anything more. I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I like to tease ppl if given the opportunity. Others say I’m flirty. Bold with it at that. I’m ambitious too. Kind of a big thing but I have npd (if you want to look it up without reading scientific papers, go on tumblr, the rest of the internet is filled with ‘demonic narcissism’ bullshit) and it influences the way I am. I care lots about my image and don’t have a ton of empathy. I don’t go kicking puppies, but it’s noticeable how I lack in this department. Sometimes people say I’m ’too nice to have it’ 🙄 cause i do well with kids and do all the youth group volunteering. Also, I do some martial arts and other sports. Kinda sceptical of romance at this point cause I had lots of it and I don’t mix well with a lot of people, but maybe I could do something serious for once if I had the right person. I try to be responsible and respectful but I have no issue finding my place at a wild party or something. I'm pretty chill in general, but I can be soft-er if I want, like with children or if the few ppl I‘m close with (I've got many friend groups but I struggle to make meaningful connections) need me. Usually I just stay my highly analytical, laid back self and say my silly little comments every once in a while. Heard I’m pretty funny if I want to be. My love language is acts of service. I like small things and I do them a lot. I can do words too, but I don't care for them in return. Like, you can be an asshole (up to a limit, I know my worth) and it’s cool with me if I see you have your ways of caring like putting on a song I like in the car

★❤️&💔: love movies like Fight Club (my fav), American Psycho and Donnie Darko; hate sharks, they freak me out; my fav book is The Catcher in the Rye; hate it when people push me to open up and be emotional; love music and I unironically had a few guys play songs AT me and I actually like that too, tho I get why ppl clown on it

★My type: I like people who are more negative than me and aren't afraid to shittalk everything. Just saying whatever, not caring if they offend ppl (up to a point, some issues aren’t debatable ik). They have to be somewhat funny. Just… not serious all the time at least. Don't really care for morality (to a certain point, again) if you're charismatic and fun to be around, I’m along for the ride and happy to support whatever you get yourself into. I think I would get along with someone who had a little npd too, I like to be able to relate to my partner a bit. If they work somewhat similarly, I don't have to struggle with understanding some stuff, bc I already know how to manage an ego or grandiose behavior. As for looks. Idk, I don’t have a set type. I think maybe ppl that are bigger than me? I’m pretty athletic so it’s not hard, but I guess that’s been a pattern? Also, I do enough of leading as is so in relationships, I don’t mind watching from the side and supporting whatever my partner is doing

-★🎶

first of all, thx!! my blog is all lute themed because i love her sm haha, also imo it’s not disrespectful so dw, but if some other blog gives you crap, i gotchu, anyway this was such a hard tie between quite a few characters, but here’s who i decided to pair you with…

Angel Dust !!

I was debating so hard between him, Husk, or Charlie — but decided with Angel cause he’s a happy medium imo

I feel like you and Angel can bond well, but under the correct conditions and circumstances, like you both have been through shit and it sucked — and it probably still has a tight grip on you today, but you guys give each other the boost to keep trucking along, you’re each others reasons to get out of bed each day, each others cheerleaders for lack of a better term

You definitely enjoy Angel because he’s not afraid to talk a bit of shit, but he’s also not as serious as Husk, he can have a good time, he also matches your flirty energy a lot so you guys kinda just bounce comebacks and random shit off eachother

Angel is ALL IN for your “rockstar + angelic partner” look, thinks it’s hot asf, genuinely thinks you were in Heaven at one point or another because of how undeniably beautiful you are

Angel also enjoys the kickass hater in you, you guys could sit and gossip and talk shit for several hours, but you both kinda keep eachother in check from going too far — especially infront of others

Despite Hazbin being a musical, I’d like to think Angel is canonically a good singer, because cmon, how could he not be with a VA like Blake Roman?? So he could easily sing at and/or for you, bitch would serenade you😩😩

Also bro finds the fact that you hate sharks hilarious asf, I could see him deciding to be a little fucker and getting you a shark plush as a gag/joke gift on Christmas or smth (or I guess Hellsmas?? Idfk.)

[the-empress-7]

That defense anon post was blinding!

Dear Empress the defense anon post was STUPENDOUSLY GOOD is there any way you can disseminate this to all the other blogs? I would love a decent journo to read it and use it! We know they come to tumblr and Reddit for their information we've seen it!

Now while I know that Sussex PR always refers to reconciliations and olive branches, I have a nasty feeling that Charles wants that too. What do we know about him? He is super sensitive to his image, has huge sense of guilt and has an unhealthy relationship with confrontation or lack of it. He reminds me of that kid hiding under the bed sheets willing the monster to go away. He thinks he is hidden yet the monster sees his every move. I am afraid this strategy does not work. The reason why Harry has twisted him around so cunningly is because he cannot distance himself from his own lonely neglected childhood. He has transferred those emotions (which at times can be useful in forging empathy) to Harry's deluded view point.

Yes Harry was neglected just as Charles was but while one was over disciplined by his father, the other was not. Charles is again adopting that, "you can't see me" philosophy with all of us who are watching this tragedy. We saw that Charles failed during and after the Diana years (but so did she, luckily her death canonized her. In many ways by not addressing his son, so did he) and yet he seems to think that by letting time soften the pains, that we suddenly see him as the good father. (Just because time warmed us to Camilla, Charles thought this largesse was extended to his son. No. Camilla earned respect, Harry did not).

We see the reality that he was in a hard spot, dealt with it badly, tried to overcompensate, thought all was well just like the acceptance of Camilla and could not see it was backfiring. Back under the blanket he went. In short he was a parent struggling and because he projected his own childhood neglect onto his son, was doomed to be a slave to him. This is where we are now and Harry knows it. Sadly Charles seems to think that correcting his son after his Diana failings is hypocrisy. As long as he does this and fails to accept his son is lost to him, he will feel pain and not heal, so I think Harry and Charles are linked in a way that William and Charles are not. William made this wise acceptance a long time ago and healed himself.

Dealing with confrontation is not a bad thing. It is not weakness to stand up for yourself and adapt the morality rules of the game if you are fighting for the greater good.That is how Charles has been bested by his son and DIL, they play two different games. For them confrontation though it may be passive aggressive at times is their way of reinforcing their self worth. BUT despite all of this doom and gloom part of me wishes someone would step in and shake Charles, he is Denethor from LOTR right now! There is the long game but then there is also the 'floodlights have gone off and the pitch is empty' the key is to get the balance right.

Personally I think Harry is trying to kill off his father and become King. Illogical I know but remember this guy thought he was the spare all this time and is still living in a time where he was number 3 anointed by God. In his mind William is an avatar that does not exist, much like in his beloved computer games only there to be wiped away.

====

Another great submission. I agree that he is slowly trying to eliminate one competitor after another. These are not family members to him, they are obstacles to eliminate in order to get to the throne. He is doing to Charles what he did to The Queen, except he is doing it much more aggressively since the Queen was far more popular than that Charles is currently. When Charles is out the picture, he will do the same to William. Again, it will be far more malicious.

PS: I am posting it this way to protect the sender's anonymity.

[alykatsevents]

Can I get a romantic matchup from Hazbin? Here are some informations abt me

Gender and pref: I’m a he/she and choose how I present myself based on the setting bc I’m not that open with ppl (yeah, I think it’s important to express yourself but realistically that won’t get me far in certain settings in my country); no gender pref but I’m not too fond of some writing choices when it comes to women in Viv’s works, depends on a character though

Style: kinda rockstar gf vibe? Sometimes softer colours too

Personality, hobbies: I’m social and extroverted. Usually that leaves me as a leader of whatever group I’m in. I have a little bit of a hater in me, but I don’t show it if ppl don’t encourage it. I do like when it’s being enabled though. It’s not convenient when you’re in a position where ppl ask you for opinions and actually follow your guide, yk, if I manage an event I’m not going to go around shit talking everything. It feels nice to have someone who does that though, makes it easier to join in and not feel like a jerk (or at least be jerks together I guess??). I write my own songs and am in a band as a backup vocal. Kinda proud that it’s my band but I need to get better until I step up as anything more. I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I like to tease ppl if given the opportunity. Others say I’m flirty. Bold with it at that. I’m ambitious too. Kind of a big thing but I have npd (if you want to look it up without reading scientific papers, go on tumblr, bc the rest of the internet is filled with ‘demonic narcissism’ bullshit) and it influences the way I am. I care lots about my image and don’t have a ton of empathy. I don’t go kicking puppies, but it’s noticeable how I lack in this department. Sometimes people say I’m ’too nice to have it’ cause i do well with kids and do all the youth group volunteering. Also, I do some martial arts and other sports. Kinda sceptical of romance at this point cause I had lots of it and I don’t mix well with a lot of people, but maybe I could do something serious for once if I had the right person. I try to be responsible and respectful but I have no issue finding my place at a wild party or something. I'm pretty chill in general, but I can be soft-er if I want, like with children or if the few ppl I actually am close with (I've got many friend groups but I struggle to make meaningful connections) need me. Usually I just stay my highly analytical, laid back self and say my silly little comments every once in a while. Heard I’m pretty funny if I want to be. My love language is acts of service. I like small things and I do them a lot. I can do words too, but I don't care for them in return. Like, you can be an asshole (up to a limit, I know my worth) and it’s cool with me if I see you have your ways of caring like putting on a song I like in the car

Likes and dislikes: love movies like Fight Club (my fav), American Psycho and Donnie Darko; hate sharks, they freak me out; my fav book is The Catcher in the Rye; hate it when people push me to open up and be emotional; love music and unironically had a few guys play songs AT me and I actually like that too, tho I get why ppl clown on that

My type: I like people who are more negative than me and aren't afraid to shittalk everything. Just saying whatever, not caring if they offend ppl (up to a point, some issues aren’t debatable ik). Don't really care for morality (to a certain point, again) if you're charismatic and fun to be around, I’m along for the ride and happy to support whatever you get yourself into. I think I would get along with someone who had a little npd too, I like to be able to relate to my partner a bit. If they work somewhat similarly, I don't have to struggle with understanding some stuff, bc I already know how to manage an ego or grandiose behavior. As for looks. Idk, I don’t have a set type. I think maybe ppl that are bigger than me? I’m pretty athletic so it’s not hard, but I guess that’s been a pattern? Also, I do enough of leading as is so in relationships I don’t mind watching from the side and supporting whatever my partner is doing

-★🎶

I match you with...

Husk

~He likes listening to you sing

~He doesn't get flustered much but he has a couple times by you

~Both of y'all are skeptical about the whole romance thing, But y'all are trying

~Likes watching movies with you

~Yall are both a bit emotionally stunted, that's okay though

~He loves your style

~He prepares drinks for you

~You do a lot of the talking between you two

~Yall shit talk together

~He likes your sense of humor

[ootahime]

analyzing every gojohime moment in the manga 😈

this series will probably have more than one part because tumblr only lets me upload ten images per post </3

warning: there are disgustingly long paragraphs in here and delusions

chapter 32

utahime’s first introduction!  akutami lets us know right off the bat that she thinks gojo is an idiot (so true).

chapter 32

i love the contrast between miwa and utahime’s reaction to gojo’s appearance.  

chapter 33

NAH BC TELL ME WHY HE WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO NOT GET HER ONE LMAOOOO!!  when he traveled overseas to meet with yuta, he picked up the tribal protection charms and thought to himself, “let’s get enough for the kyoto students as a gift since i am such a great and caring teacher, after all.  mmm, i should skip utahime to make her mad~”  this guy puts way too much effort into getting on her nerves.  his mind = utahime brainrot

chapter 33

she’s laughing at him here because he’s getting disciplined for being a lil shit.  i wonder...what would he say if he saw her laughing at him like that?  

chapter 33

this interaction between them is a little strange don’t you think?   i feel like over the years he’s learned how to pick up her mood based on the way she’s acting towards him.  you’re probably thinking, “well any person can figure out how a person’s feeling based on the way they’re talking or acting.”  yes, that’s absolutely true, but it’s kind of different with this.  she’s acting normal.  utahime has a rather indifferent expression on her face and what she says is spoken in a calm tone, but gojo still asks her if she’s mad at him.  it’s likely that he knows her well enough to be able to notice these subtle things.  even if she wasn’t actually mad at him, he was being considerate for a split second, then he went and said, “of course.  i didn’t do anything wrong and all.”  what a guy LOLOL.  to me, this implies that maybe he made her genuinely angry in the past to the point where he realized that he went too far, and thus decided to be more careful of her feelings.  she has definitely gotten annoyed at him so many times after that so whenever she seems angry, he probably asks himself if he took it too far.  i’m curious to see if he can pick up if she’s upset with something that’s not involving him.  would he console her?  how does gojo satoru console someone?  

despite him always annoying her, she’s still courteous and brings him a cup of tea during their talk.  she didn’t have to go out of her way to get tea for him but she did.  that’s the kind of person utahime is.  a kind and caring woman who would never put her students in danger.  in the anime they were sitting far away and not facing each other like they’re doing in the manga.  she also has her own tea cup.  i think that little panel of her placing the cup down on the table and him picking it up to take a sip is a nice little detail.  it just proves that her hating him most of the time isn’t actually pure hatred but annoyance because of his shenanigans and teasing.

chapter 33

i touched upon this a little bit in my previous post, but i wish to go more in depth about this panel.  first of all, he ends the sentence with her name twice.  two times too many, mr. gojo.  i like how they can be serious with each other too LOL.  i wish we got to see them talk about the traitors because they did figure it out together after all.  does it always end in bickering?  can they interact with each other like adults all the way through?  somehow, i feel like that’s not possible when it comes to these two.  furthermore, notice how gojo confides in utahime about his suspicions.  from what we know, she is the first person he brought it up to.  i mean, i guess he has to start investigating the schools and would need extra assistance to save time, but he could have done it himself if he really wanted to.  by deciding to ask for her help we know that he thinks she’s trustworthy, smart, and strong enough to face whatever considerable risks this task may entail.  

i didn’t point this out in my other posts but see how he makes a hand sign in the last panel when she throws the cup at him?  gojo is manually activating his infinity.  why though?  about a year after the whole star plasma vessel incident happened, gojo develops the ability to keep his infinity up at all times by using the reversed curse technique to consistently heal himself to prevent exhaustion.  this means that it really makes no difference whether he leaves it on or off.  there are a few times where we can witness someone actually touching gojo.  for example, yuuji giving him a hug.  did he turn his infinity off, or was it able to deduce that yuuji was not a threat?  the erasers and pencils shoko and geto threw at him during his demonstration of his new ability aren’t dangerous normally, but is it the speed that makes them dangerous?  even if it did hit him, it wouldn’t hurt.  how does the infinity know when to allow an incoming object to touch gojo?  i believe it is up to gojo himself to let things touch him; his infinity restricts anything and anyone.  some people say it could just be the fact that water is not dangerous to him, so therefore, he has to manually put his infinity up.  i thought this was a reasonable explanation as to why he put up the hand sign when the tea was thrown at him, but then i realized that it couldn’t be.  remember the second opening?  it’s raining and everyone is carrying an umbrella, then it pans to gojo with a bouquet in his hand and rain drops slipping off his infinity.  if he DID manually put his infinity up to prevent getting soaked then that implies that he chose to turn his infinity off.  you can argue and say that jujutsu high is a safe place with students so there’s no need to have his infinity there, but do you remember when he stepped on the ants in front of gakuganji and yaga?  the ants were perfectly fine after which insinuates that his infinity prevented his shoes from crushing the ants.  he most likely had his infinity on during the baseball game even though he was in a safe environment.  how does this long tangent relate back to utahime?  well, it simply indicates that gojo trusts utahime so much to the point where he can be vulnerable around her.  turning off his infinity symbolizes completely letting down his guard  in a way.  

how about what happens next?  utahime throws the tea at him, he turns on his infinity to deflect it, and he responds with, “scary!  hysteric women aren’t popular, you know!”  why would he even say that LMAO??  utahime doesn’t even try to deny what he said either.  she just hits him with the good old, “i am your senpai!”  could it be that he’s trying to poke fun of her relationship status?  maybe, maybe not.  doesn’t he like people a lil crazy?  he did say that all jujutsu sorcerers have to be a little crazy because they’re willing to put themselves in danger constantly.  

chapter 0 p.1

i wonder who he’s thinking of when he said that.  could it be utahime?  it seems like he’s reminiscing or thinking about someone.  he wears an amused expression on his face as he laughs - almost like he’s seen his fair share of how scary women can get :>>

chapter 34

the pattern behind gojo and utahime is called yagasuri “fletching,” a traditional japanese design.  this design is inspired by arrow fletching.  it's a lucky charm for weddings and other celebrations since it's based on the Japanese belief that an arrow shot once never comes back.  brides were given kimonos with this pattern for good luck during the edo era (1603–1868) to ensure they would not have to return to their original family home.  this pattern can have numerous meanings such as steadfastness or determination to achieve a goal, or a wish for the happiness of the bride.  there is a belief that a bow and arrow represent the fight against evil.  honestly, this meaning fits the narrative of the story.  utahime and gojo are unearthing the traitors that are feeding intel to the curse users and cursed spirits.  they are in the middle while the kyoto students surround them, which could mean that it’s their job as adults to protect these children from the grasps of evil slowly making itself more prominent.  do you also notice that the arrows are pointed toward utahime from gojo?  from all the images i’ve seen, the arrows are usually pointed downward.  what could this mean?  is gojo trying to protect her (in the future (?)) or does he have a big fat crush smh...

i think it’s a good time to mention utahime’s clothing.  she’s wearing miko attire.  miko are shrine maidens who were once thought to be shamans (you connecting the dots?).  in their service to shrines, miko used to perform spirit possession and takusen (in which the possessed person acts as a "medium" (yorimashi) to communicate the divine will or message of that kami (god) or spirit; also included in the category of takusen is "dream revelation" (mukoku), in which a kami appears in a dream to communicate its will).  this was back in the old days, of course.  to become a miko back then (shaman), one needed to have potential.  neurosis, hallucinations, odd behavior, and hysteria (HYSTERIA HELLO???) are some of the signs that a person is being called to shamanism.  when a miko is communicating with a kami (god) or spirit by acting as a medium, she is in a trance-like state, and so she must learn techniques to control herself when this happens.  chanting and dancing were used to accomplish this, so the girl was taught melodies and intonations that were used in songs, prayers, and magical formulas.  all of this could give us insight about utahime’s technique and explains why she’s good at singing :)  maybe she can’t control herself when she uses her technique which is why she isn’t shown using it because it should be used for dire situations.  i imagine being possessed by a spirit or god must consume a lot of cursed energy.  it makes sense that utahime and gakuganji wear traditional clothing.  they’re the staff of jujutsu high’s kyoto branch.  in chapter 0, kyoto is known as the sacred land of jujutsu.  it’s more traditional compared to tokyo.  if you want to learn more about miko, you should check out the wikipedia page!  

chapter 34

i swear he tries to annoy her every chance he gets.  i bet he sets a goal for himself to see how many times utahime lectures him about respecting his seniors every time he’s within the same vicinity as her.  at least he called her utahime-sensei!!!

chapter 40

this isn’t even a gojohime moment tbh...i just wanted to share a pic of them sitting next to each other HEHE.  why are they sitting next to each other anyway?  it’s not like they have assigned seating.

----

that was so long and i apologize for the gargantuan paragraphs you guys had to read through.  i’m writing this at 4 in the morning and i’m feeling borderline delirious so i apologize if there are any errors.  i’ll edit this when i have time <3

the next part should come shortly.

[popurikat]

Trying to make sense of parts of Future (Mystery Skulls)

Since my last analysis went so well I thought I’d make this post as well, especially because Future really did confuse me and I know others might be lost as well; so lets discuss this together! It will be lengthy as I am basically spewing my thoughts out right on the videos immediate release date (there will be a read more option after my first thought to avoid long positng). Well first things first, I wanna address that I've been curious about what kind of spirit Arthur's arm could be (since I am not too well acquainted with any canon on its background part at least) and I think I have concluded that the closest thing to it could be is a Tenome; which is a Yochai that possesses a man's body and moves the eyes to the palms. "found lurking in cemeteries, hands outstretched, as if he has only recently lost his vision and is searching for something. Get close enough, and you’ll find out in quick succession that a) he’s not blind, but looking with eyes embedded in his hands, and b) what he’s looking for is a snack." (fyi, most of my mythos information is coming from Wiki just as a heads up)

And sure enough he found a great source for his hunger. Something he has been EYEING since the start. Which now leads me to my next points on the video...

At first watch I was convinced that each strand found on Mystery’s heart represented a singular soul bond, I thought that blue was for Vivi, Green was for the hand, pink for Lewis, purple for Shiro, Yellow for Lance, Orange for Arthur, and black and white were unknown. Which, didn’t settle right for me. SO I went in and re-watched the clip a couple more times and saw this:

Vivi’s (blue created after she got hurt) and Shiro’s (white created after she died) strands were connected to the strands located next to them. A start and an end. Mystery’s promise to Vivi to stay at her side for generations as he was spared upon prior defeat of Mushi. And then of course we have the promise of power and sustenance for Shrio as they held a symbiotic relationship for most of their lives that was only severed due to an interference. These double strands of fate are especially clearer in the scene with Shiro in Future. As the black strand gets clearer the more she gets injured or emotionally hurt, it eventually leads to the leak of the white strand on her death. Meaning; Black/white=Shiro; Purple/Pink=Lewis; Blue/Green: Vivi; and Orange/Yellow: Arthur. And why am I inclined to believe Lewis and Arthur are apart of Mystery’s heart? Well that's because those two were the only ones fully streaming before Vivi’s and Shiro’s appeared. We know that Arthur lost an arm to Mystery and discovered his identity (ergo losing most of his trust in him) insinuating both strands to arise early on of his color scheme, as well as with Lewis’ death occurring under the protection of Mystery when they were grouped and having his soul go restless/ in pain. It wouldn’t make sense to add family members or side characters not included in the mainline story to this grouping unless they would play an important role in the finale, which isn’t likely since we have only one more video left as Ben stated it was going to be a 5 video series. I am also inclined to believe each person has two strands because of Kitsune lore: “ Kitsune keep their promises and strive to repay any favor. Occasionally a kitsune attaches itself to a person or household. They follow their word of honor. They become self-destructive if they break a promise, and when someone else breaks a promise, they become deadly enemies.” Plus, It would make sense as to why in this short battle Mystery sprouted his last 3 tails when it came to Vivi and Shiro and how their connections affect his power. (more on this in a bit) But, furthermore; if anyone else notices, the Band-Aids on the heart are also remotely located on the sections of Vivi’s and Shiro’s strands specifically because for both, Mystery has vowed to protect them and has failed. 

Now then lets talk about a few things on Mystery’s ultimate form shall we? The final form of a Kitsune, its celestial form as shown here is called a Tenko. (yes I am aware of the Kumiho, but that is a fully evil, flesh eating, 9 tailed fox that specialize in illusions and well Mystery has never been portrayed as human). The Tenko makes even more sense when taken into consideration that Mystery’s third eye (typically a form of wisdom connected to overpowering the mortality of ones self) opens. So how was this done in such a short amount of time? “Kitsune do not accept aid from those who are not willing. they do not ask for help, and as such, most aid must come from another's initiative. Kitsune are emotional and very vengeful. Kitsune will lose their temper at the slightest provocation. Once someone has earned a kitsune's enmity, the kitsune will begin enacting revenge that can become quite extreme. On the other hand, those who have earned a kitsune's trust and loyalty will see a friendship that can last through many trials. Freedom is very important to the kitsune. They do not accept being forced into something they do not wish, and do not like being bound or trapped. Doing so weakens the kitsune.” Mystery as we know is very much controlled by his emotions, going head first into things constantly based on reaction and his inability to control his power under distress. His tails arose in the fight sequence every time he fulfilled his oath AND used 100% of his form/power. Therefore, his tails grew because he wasn’t holding back anymore, not his grievances, not his appearance, nor his hesitance in his evident distress of being bound to two entities that both required his aid.  My last note on these images comes from a tumblr user’s reverse audio clipping (https://nebulous-rain.tumblr.com/post/633555549749952512/ok-so-yknow-that-one-reversed-part-of-future). The rewind of the clip of Mystery’s transformation plays “When I’m With You”, which yes, cool a possible Easter egg to the next song! BUT what is this song about? Let me just bring up the first line of the song: “You got me hanging by a THREAD...I wish I could turn back time...I wish I could rewind life...” and before the chorus “I’m gonna make it right”. We know that this can refer to rectifying the wrongs of Lewis’ death, but more accurately to do so we need to defeat the evil inside this mutt that is pulling the strings of this whole fiasco. And this might just be the intro portion of the next mystery skulls mind you as we’ve also gotten many false starts with the previous two videos where hellbent used “every note” and future used “enemies” alongside the main song. BUT WE HAVE TWO YEARS ANYWAY, WHY BABBLE ON ABOUT THIS. LETS MOVE ON!

Hearts in this series have not been just for identifying the dead or for aesthetic purposes, they are the life force of each powerful legend. I am actually surprised to see Shiro have a heart as she started off as a creation from Mystery and therefore her lifeforce is just his blood and without it she is nothing. I am curious about her color pallet though, her heart is purple and pink. Lewis’ is gold/yellow with touches of orange. And Mystery’s is just red, but it has a mix of everyone’s essence within it to keep it tied and whole. Shiro’s could be colored this way in reference to Lewis’ aid to help find her creator; which would explain why Mystery surrounds himself by color as he required outside help and how Lewis’ heart is yellow in reference to how recently Arthur helped him remember his friends/hidden memories. One thing we have learned about hearts is that they can be broken repeatedly and can be ripped apart from the body, but they can be repaired too through resolution/hope. Lewis restored his heart in hellbent by using Vivi’s flower petals and finding hope that he will get revenge, only for his heart to be repaired again through Arthur’s touch. Shiro may have withered away, but her heart is essentially not broken, she’d need Mystery to restore it as it was flung into space (and that again relies on Mystery finding his sanity and finding it in himself to even bring her back). And as for Mystery himself, he’s gonna need the whole gang to reach out to him to extract the parasite within and restore balance. I really want to know more about the heart properties and how they give their users their powers as well Vivi is able to summon her strength through a material connection (bat) that function in its own way as the vessel a heart does since its connecting her to her ancestry.

NOW to finalize, I offer you two queries:

WHO IS ARTHURS HAND REACHING FOR!? I know it seems like Mystery, but that would be counter productive for the hand demon if he has Arthur interfering with his control. Is it still after Lewis as we’ve seen previous times where his arm acts up only in Lewis’ presence and when specifically other “magic” is at play? If so, is the goal to ward off Lewis and Vivi from defeating Mystery? Is Arthur gonna use the arm to find his own power as we’ve seen when he is able to momentarily cease control of it he kinda ruins anything electrical he touches and well, electricity is currently running rampant in there.

and lastly, I am really curious how touch sensitive hearts are, We know that even the smallest of brushes can detect memory/links to the person holding it (as seen with how Shiro managed to get soul flowers in hellbent), but the fact that Lewis was so in touch with the feeling of Arthur EVEN THOUGH ARTHUR GRABBED HIS HEART THROUGH HIS METAL HAND MIND YOU!, that he still managed to feel the disturbance instantly. So my question is, is the touch sensitivity reliant on how close someone is to someone? I would like to say yes cause when Shiro touched his heart he didn’t react instantly, he felt her rummaging his memories and was awoken, but he didn’t kick her butt by fully reforming until after she had long since stepped on his heart and then forced the memory of Mystery to arise. But yeah, its a nice little detail.

Either way, thanks for reading! Feel free to add on, comment, or even dm me about more Mystery Skulls information and theories! Love to hear them!

[inked-out-trees]

⭐ for The Keep Going Song? Thanks! :)

(anh i would die for you)

Thank you for asking! I am going to be talking about the whole thing because it's fun, and because there's not really many ~secrets~ within the text to ramble about, just little fun snippets!

I'll do it under a cut because I will definitely ramble. Woohoo!

I came across The Keep Going Song (the song) after my Lookout 3 Companion Playlist (& my spotify discovery) introduced me to the Bengsons. The effect was almost instantaneous - it's the kind of warmth I try to encompass in everything I do, and for the next few days I had it on repeat as I worked. This was around the time I was finishing my Lookout script, and I had been toying with the idea of writing a Cornleyverse fic after absolutely devouring all 10 fics in the tag. What I knew was that I wanted it to be sweet, I wanted it to pull them all together, and I wanted it to be a progression. Despite only having seen the Goes Wrong Show, jumping into the fandom made me want to dimensionalize these characters and give them a story beyond everything that had already occured.

I also watched Christmas Carol before / during the writing process, but to date I have not watched Peter Pan or the full-length TPTGW. My prior knowledge comes from Wikipedia, the delightul amateur TPTGW production on YouTube, a friend's excellent transcription of the Haversham Manor script, and tumblr meta analysis. I think I did a reasonable enough job pretending I knew what I was doing.

Let's get going!

I knew off the top that it was going to be vignettes - they would give me room to spread the story over the long period of time it takes for a group of people to grow into something resembling a family. Like I said in the original author's note, there was supposed to be more of the early, snippy days - but I got so focused on making them kinder that I found I couldn't properly write a fight. In hindsight, it probably would have been easier if I tried writing that first, but, well. Once I realized that it was too late. The alphabet idea came later, once I had them all finished: I wanted to organize them somehow, but numbers felt too open, too infinite - closing the story on an organizational endpoint was just really satisfying.

a - Every good story needs a good beginning.

c - Starting with the end of Peter Pan is my sneaky way of slipping past the fact that I haven't seen the earlier shows! The Max and Sandra storyline is just so sweet, and I wanted to let it exist a little bit in between our jump from Peter Pan to Christmas Carol. This vignette came so easily when I wrote it and I love love love the feelings and the tentativity about the whole thing.

f - This was actually the last vignette I wrote. I realized I needed some front-end padding because otherwise my angst plot came rather abruptly, and what better way? At this point, too, I was trying to bring in POVs from each one of our characters, and when deciding on Trevor's POV I thought the exasperation-excitement combination would be an excellent choice. It turns out Trevor is my favourite to write, mostly because I can find his voice a lot easier than some of the others - and probably also because I hold a lot of fondness and nostalgia for stage crew work. Also, I wrote most of this one on a long evening walk in the notes app on my phone. Fun fact.

h - I did my original idea slam in a draft tumblr post, and this one just says "birthday party but one without all the drama of christmas carol". And what do you know, that's exactly what it is! I definitely took the birthday party (in CCGW as well as in this fic) as a kind of proof that they really do like each other, if they're doing things like this and if they want to do things like this - and that theme of okay, they want to be here formed the basis for this part. I think it's exceptionally sweet that Dennis came looking for friends and ended up finding, well, something. And I popped in a little MMNI reference with "one of the Janines" - Backwards Janine? Frontwards Janine? Original Janine? Who knows! It's one of them!

l - The thing about this plot is that it's actually one of the first ideas I had when dreaming up this fic, and I couldn't quite let it go. The point was, what if I somehow split them up? How can they get on when half the society is out of commission? And the most reasonable way I could find to actually get half of them out of commission was the car accident. To be honest, this one is mostly filler - it's also the second vignette I wrote, and it found its birth in the email drafts of my work laptop.

m - Trying to map out this little plotline without overdoing it might have been the most difficult part of this fic, and I'm still not 100% sure I succeeded. This is our explanation for the unease from the vignette above, and it took me 3 rewrites before I finally found something that settled in my brain. "Dennis gets chased by a goose" might be one of my favourite lines in the fic though.

Also, putting these letters right next to each other made me feel really clever for no reason.

n - My Jonathan perspective also took a few stutter-steps in its beginning, but this one ultimately came from the promo video's reveal that Robert and Dennis live together, and me playing with the continual idea of the remaining cast members being rather unmoored in their injured castmates' absence. Robert in particular because I love his character and I love making him Feel Things(TM) (fun hint: this will also be a small theme in the new cpds fic I have in the works!) and I want to see so much from this odd relationship between him and Dennis. Obviously they have to tolerate each other if they are willingly roommates - how far can I go with that? I love how this one turned out.

o - All I have to say about this one is that I still really love the sweetness between these two, and they deserve the world. Also, at some point during writing this I was really caught up with how striking Dave's face silhouette is (don't ask) so that ended up making it in somehow.

q - Girls' Night is SO important to me. After all the work they've done to make these gals friends I needed to capture it, and a pleasant night in just made a lot of sense. This one is the home of a few of my headcanons - Annie has a chef roommate and Max does a lot of the cooking, thus the "neither of us are the usual household cooks" comments, and I also think they're at the point where they can joke about their previous failures (especially with these three together) so the nod to A Trial To Watch (my favourite gws episode) was so fun. Also, Waking Ned really is a silly pick-me-up of a movie - would recommend. Special thanks to CBC for giving us Canadians quality British TV alongside our occasionally questionable homegrown programming.

r - It wouldn't be a fic about progress and growth with this crew without a disheartening moment turned into gold. I wrote this one while barbecuing, another fun fact, and no joke the hardest part was figuring out what to name the play they were doing. I kept pace with the whole "Jonathan can't get onscreen" gag, which was personally hilarious and made me cackle as I wrote it, and the rest of it just felt good. I will always have a soft spot for comfort and reassurance in a story and getting to write it has just been an absolute delight.

t - This was one of my other unplanned vignettes. It was originally to fill out Robert's POV, but also to express a bit of how things have changed in Chris's attitude towards his cast - if there's one thing I would change from Mischief's characerisation thus far, it's this brand of almost-kindness that I consistently need to write him with. It takes the aftermath of the car accident and uses it to kind of make him understand - this is a valuable group of people and I don't want to lose it. But of course he's not the type of person to actually express that in any way, so I thought the frenetic hovering was a good way to get the point across. As well, the kind-of-bonding between Chris and Robert - the two of them are such powerhouses of insistent personality that conflict so easily but they've also got a more secret kind of friendship that deserves to be explored a little more. I really like this vignette and how it ended up portraying how they are around each other, how they really do know each other, especially when they're not fighting. Makes me soft.

w - This is the first vignette I wrote! I honestly didn't realize until writing this just how much I identify with Annie - best of both worlds re. crew and cast, a bit of tenacity regarding getting through things, overall personality - I just love her so so much. She also seems like the most sensible of the cast, so the collective "why are we really here?" moment with Trevor really spoke to me. I love their friendship, I love the kind of quiet vibe this vignette gives off - this is one of the ones I can feel most strongly, the one I can step into and exist inside. I also spent most of my old drama rehearsals and classes without shoes, so that had to make it in just by virtue of the sock brigade (me).

z - One thing I knew for sure since the inception of the fic was that it needed to end on a victory. I took the images I had of this victorious adrenaline, everyone together having a good time, kind of getting smashed, and karaoke (I really wanted the karaoke, for some reason) and went the obvious route: the wedding. Ending on Chris POV also felt so right - possibly because he's the one with the most growth in this fic - and getting to finally feel this triumph with him after all these other trials and tribulations was an absolute joy. The wedding hall, in my head, looks like the one my cousin used (it was at a zoo... my sister and I went on a night walk and heard a lot of screaming peacocks) and I definitely threw all my wistfulness, all my love for the characters I'd developed, and all my love for this fantastic fandom into this part. The incorrect lyrics that Annie sings are exactly what I think every time I hear that song, because I've never looked up the lyrics before and my brain likes to play Mad Libs with my super-questionable auditory processing. And the image of the ballroom staff getting really exasperated with them and shutting all the lights off came to me at night and is hastily scribbled on a sticky note (it's a wonder it's legible) but I still strongly believe that it's the perfect, perfect way to end. I still get the warm feelings when I reread this part, even now, after so many reads.

And, finally - our end quote is exactly what started this whole thing. What is this drama society if not a rough beginning? But the concept that we'll make it through, that we can just take a step and then another and it'll be okay because we're together... it's hard to describe just how much it means to me, to my place in the world, to the world itself. I think one of my rather consistent aims in writing, no matter what it is, is to be able to have this collective - characters that become family, people that are important to each other, this constellation to lean on - because it's all I can say for the human experience. It's probably quite a bit of wishful thinking (as I said to another friend, "I am apparently letting loose on all my repressed social feelings of the past year and shoving them into fics") and a sort of subconscious confirmation that if I write it, I can be it. So this force of understanding and kindness and ultimately good people helping each other through the world is something I can't help but include, something that means the absolute world to me.

I'm so glad to have been able to share this fic with everyone, and extra glad that it's been able to touch some people along the way. I've found such an incredible community in Mischief and coincidentally I think The Keep Going Song represents that warmth, too - the community I've been so lucky to exist inside, how we're helping each other along, step by step. What a beautiful thing to be a part of! Thank you for reading and allowing me to give you a bit of my heart. 💖💖

[in-superbloom]

okay so. i never really did a review (feels weird to call it a review tho so let's say a very opinionated essay that's totally the opposite of what college taught me) for wfttwtaf but i never really know how to do that for any album, doesn't matter how much it makes me feel feelings, bc i simply can't write about my own emotions in cohesive thoughts ✌🏻😔

so instead, i let my brain do this thing he usually does when i listen to an album that leaves an effect on me, which is pretty much just creating visuals for the songs bc apparently my feelings translate better into images/vibes rather than words lmao but since i am unfortunately not skilled to drawn/paint/created actual visual stuff, i just wrote them so i'm gonna leave them here bc why not <3

i just really love when music (art in general, but especially music for me) makes your mind run wild & be so inspired that you can't help but create something based on that feeling <3 a great example of that is the amount of art everyone here (on tumblr!sos verse, but also tumblr & the internet in general) create based on other peoples' art & i just *clenches fists* really love that 💜

anyways !! if you're reading this, i hope this makes sense to you & if you wanna chat about the album, my mail box is always open 💜

• track one: starting line – like the mv, but he's running like he's trying to get away from something, always looking behind his shoulder, stumbling on things/people on the streets. also maybe not flying?;

• track two: saigon – then he reaches a tiny but unique/eye-catching door, gets intrigued & enters. he has to go downstairs through a dark and narrow corridor, he hears muffled music coming down there. he reaches the door & the music is now clear, it looks like there are disco balls everywhere ((pink, blue and purple bc ofc)), the place is packed with people dancing & just vibing™. he goes to the dancefloor, but soon it gets overwhelming so he tries to reach a wall or the other end of the club, but he can't. the more he walks, the furthest he feels from the walls. everything has a psychedelic look, also some of those trippy effects he used on motion, and no one seems to notice/ care about him. this goes on until the end of the song, then he finally finds a door ((not the one he came from)) and opens it;

• track three: motion – he expects to find a street, but instead he's inside a room. it's a bit dark, all he sees are shadows, but then suddenly everything turns into an explosion of colors ((when the songs picks up in the beginning)), all dancing in front of him, making him feel lost & dizzy. he keeps walking, but every now and them he stumbles on something ((random things like animals or weird props or stuff that aren't supposed to be alive, but are)). he admires everything with a childlike wonder, touches things and then they turn into something else, or change form/shape/color. in the end, he's distracted looking at something and then falls like the floor reached an end;

• track four: place in me – he fell right there where he is in the mv/visualizer, it goes on like that;

• track five: baby blue – make it look like he fell asleep after the end of place in me, so he's very confused when he wakes up & it looks like the place is falling apart, like end of the world type ((like the lamentis thingy on loki)). things are exploding & he can see another planet very close to the one where he is. it's a bit scary but it's a breathtaking view nonetheless. he's mesmerized, but also kinda already accepted his fate? he's not trying to run to find a shelter/salvation or anything, just watching it all fall apart. at the end, he stops, turns around & looks at the path that he was walking ((full of nature things colored in every shade of blue and also glittery dust)) and he's just admiring it when he's hit by a big rock maybe? or a moon, who knows;

• track six: repeat – he's throw away to somewhere that's not collapsing, it looks like a pathway in the woods? but like, no florest too near, and it's sunny but not too warm, and the path is filled with green grass and flowers. he lands in a place that looks like a field but not quite. and then after walking for a while, he finds himself, but another version of him. maybe a younger one or an older one or both? like, they both just stop and stare at each other and kinda do this lil dance of trying to touch the other & watching the other, both a lil frightened but completely intrigued. maybe the older version of him? ooooh maybe it starts with an older version, but then every time present luke gets distracted by something else or turns around for a second, the other luke is getting younger, until he's just a lil kid. the ending is the mini luke offering his hand for present luke to grab, so he can lead him to a house that was near where they were. ((or maybe mini luke makes him run after him));

• track seven: mum – luke enters the house & immediately recognizes it as the house he grew up in. every step he takes, a wall or an object or a room brings a memory & it plays it out like a hologram. lots of memories. then in the guitar solo part, he finds a guitar in the room where he used to play the most when he was a kid ((maybe some cool&cute effects going around him, representing the sound coming from the guitar)). before the solo ends, you can see a shadow in the threshold of the door, and when he finished the guitar solo, luke turns around and smiles, getting up to hug the person ((it's his mum)) but maybe you never actually see her face?;

• track eight: slip away – he steps out of his childhood house and enters this big dark room. there's only a lil blue light coming from the very center of the room. when he gets closer to it, he sees it's a lil star, who looks very scared. as soon as she notices him ((he tries to reach her)) she runs out of the door on the other side of the room. he's worried&intrigued so he follows her, but when he opens the door, he immediately falls, this time he's in what looks like the clouds ((blue hues ofc but clearer ones, not as dark shades like the ones in place in me & baby blue)), and soon he finds out he can "swim" through them. he does that for a while until he sees the lil star and tries to follow her again. this goes on until he finally gets close to her, but when he touches her, she literally slips from his grasp bc he's being teleported again ((but make it look like she's the portal));

• track nine: diamonds – it starts with a close up on the water maybe? and then the camera keeps getting higher & suddenly he falls into it and soon the camera follows. he's distorted for a bit, especially when he notices he's already too deep into the water, away from the surface. then he tries to swim to the surface, but there's a bunch of things?? or like weird and mean seapeople maybe? trying to drag him down ((kinda like that scene on harry potter & the goblet of fire)). he tries his best to fight them, but what gets him away from them is a group of nice seapeople who came to his rescue. then they all swim away from the place they were ((also maybe slip in some diamonds or things that look like them around there?));

• track ten: a beautiful dream – he reaches a lil city? under water with the help of the nice seapeople & then there's this piano on the ground ((maybe covered in seaweed and stuff like that)) and he's immediately drawn to it. he plays/sings the song ((maybe like the guitar effects in mum, the sounds coming from the piano affect the place around him even tho it looks like he barely notices it)). when the song is finishing, he notices a white light coming from the surface. he looks at it & then follows it;

• track eleven: bloodline – then he's getting out of the water? at some beach perhaps? he's slowly getting out of the water & there's this beautiful sunrise behind him. he's singing along, looking like he just came out of a battle but at the same time he's in peace with himself, looking not exactly happy but relieved. he's walking on the beach, making his way home but he's not in a hurry. then in that lil bit in the end of the song, he gets out of the frame after looking straight to the camera maybe?? and the camera focuses on the sunrise and then everything goes black;

• track twelve: comedown – he wakes up in a bed ((like, this is him waking up from all these dreams)) & he's slightly confused bc the dreams felt so real, but he's feeling better & not so lost anymore. he goes out in a walk that maybe shows every place he was in his dreams? but like, this time you see what they really are bc every place in his dreams was inspired by a real location/thing, just reimagined. but like, he doesn't enter anywhere, he's just walking & you can see the places on both sides of the street. like, it's clearly a set up location but it's just representative. maybe you can see some of his friends/family at some of these locations or maybe they're all together in one place? but they don't look at him, they're just talking&laughing with each other. he looks happy, at ease & he's smiling, wearing a yellow or gold shirt. in the end, he reaches a cliffside maybe? somewhere that leads you to think that he'll go through another portal, but then he suddenly stops, looks down at the cliffside and crouches down bc he saw the lil blue star from slip away but it's now a necklace. he picks it up, with a small&easy smile and then looks at the camera, gives a bigger, real smile, gets up and turns around, going back to where his friends&family are, but the camera stays there, just watching him go.

// now some notes bc i love to over explain myself //

• the "water" one was supposed to be slip away, but alison @bandsanitizer was talking about a beautiful dream these days & said that something about the song reminds her of a sonar-like sound & the idea of searching for something, so that got me thinking about the ocean & relating it to this song and it also makes a lot of sense with what the album represents in my mind, so it made me change that. thank you for that miss alison, it's always a pleasure to read your thoughts 😌💜

• & it also fitted well with the “i can't fight the bloodline living in the seams back home” line from bloodline, so i wanted that one to be related to the water as well bc that's all i can think about when i hear that lyric;

• something in common that appears in every single one: an object or something related to time, since it's the big common theme on the whole album;

• in each song he's wearing the same outfit he wore in the starting line mv (white tee + black pants + converse) but in each one of them, that red shirt is in a different color;

• i had the visuals from starting line to mum very clear in my head on my first listen of the album, but i only truly finished writing all of this yesterday bc i wanna listen to halsey's new album and see if my brain does this thing again, but i wanted to finish wfttwtaf first <3

& that's it bc i already talked too much for a day lmao if you read all of this, you're a true hero & i love you <3 have a nice day 💛

[whatgaviiformes]

10. Music Makers - Part 5 / Scenes from Gordon’s Bedside

“When words fail, music speaks”

Chapter Summary:  Virgil and Gordon and music

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

You are Here 

Chapter A/N: In honor of 10 chapters of this concept, the plan is to give you a hell of a chapter 10 with a few moments in time strung together. I decided to go ahead and share what I have with you instead of waiting. Once the chapter has been shared in full over tumblr, I will post the full piece at Ao3 and FF.net. It may or may not make sense to remain as chapter 10 or be it’s own thing. Do share if you have an opinion. :-) 

 The title Music Makers comes from “Ode” by  Arthur O'Shaughnessy, and it is very lovely.

Part Notes: Thanks to @janetm74 and @gumnut-logic by extension for the second opinions on the thing I asked. You know what for; I can be a little on the paranoid side. For music reqs on this one, it’s a mix of quite a few different things- but I’ve been listening to a lot of this album: Endeavor by Christoffer Franzen 

***

Music Makers - Part 5/6

The one advantage to the sudden upheaval in his education was that instead of continuing to grad school, Virgil was able to use his skills for a practical purpose under the tutelage of one of the world’s most brilliant minds; and meeting Brains had been awesome.

It meant that his own blood, sweat, and tears went into the building of the birds. And also very possibly his fury.

It meant he could stay on their island home to help Gordon’s recovery. For all the good it did him. One day the idiot would learn that pushing himself doesn’t make him cool, it makes him stupid.

The last thing he had expected to see when checking in on his brother for the night was him standing. Without assistance, without protection nearby, the walker and the chair both out of reach. Of all the stupid, idiotic –

Words had been exchanged, and not nice ones.

He needed to walk out before he said anything he regretted.

To be fair, welding at 2AM didn’t make him dedicated, it made him equally as stupid. He’d just been so mad, but after an hour or two, the rage had dissipated, and he’d stayed primarily to get the job done.

He’s not too much of a completion-ist, though, to admit when he’s getting tired. His work is sending all that ire right back to him. The angry shower of sparks very much tells him Thunderbird One’s panel does not appreciate his carelessness. One is going to be Scott’s and already she is so like his older brother. He can practically hear Scott telling him to clean up and get some rest before he screws up his baby.

Better listen.

He definitely needs to shower once he gets to his room; the sweat has started to make him itchy, and he feels grimy now that he’s had the time to think about it.  He picks up rag from their supplies with a yawn, and wipes at his face.

Ug. Gross. The dryness in his throat warrants a stop by the kitchen as well for rehydration. He thinks that perhaps the headache he’s had throbbing behind his eyes was actually lack of water and not so much his brother.

Tired as he is, it only takes less than a second for Virgil to notice the prone form on the ground as he walks through the faintly lit lounge on his way to the kitchen. And that dryness in his throat, from earlier is nothing in comparison to the fear lodged in his throat as he chokes out syllables that are supposed to be Gordon’s name as he kneels beside the figure.

His hands are trembling as they reach out to search for a pulse at his neck, and with his other hand he pushes back the strands of golden hair to reveal his brother’s face: pale, flushed cheeks, closed eyes.

Jesus.

Tear streaks.

“Virgil?” Gordon’s voice is groggy, but he stirs underneath Virgil’s hands.

“Gordon! What’s wrong?”

“Go away,” he mumbles. “I’m sleeping.”  

Virgil retracts his fingers sharply and sits back on his heels.

Sleeping.

He was just sleeping. His heart is a jack hammer in his chest, and Gordon was just sleeping.

He sighs as he tries to get his heart rate under control. But then….

“Out here?” It’s a very long distance from Gordon’s bedroom to the lounge, and there’s no sight of his chair. Or his walker.

“I had no choice,” Gordon says weakly, opening an eye to look at his brother. “Good a place as any.”

Virgil’s heart clenches at the pain behind the words. Sleeping, yes, but still hurt, and the lack of movement below him tells him exactly what happened. Gordon had followed him.

Their fight had been hours ago.

He feels his hackles rise again. “Goddamn it, Gordon, this is exactly-”

“Virgil! Not now! Please, not now.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“I tried! You left.”

“You weren’t listening!”

“Shut up, Virgil,” he snaps. “God. Just – I don’t know - go get Brains or something. Leave me alone.”  The biting words quickly turn into a pained cough, a gasp as the spasm hits, and Virgil feels the fight leave him. He reaches out to rest his hand on Gordon’s shoulder blade and hates that his brother flinches at his touch.

“Gordon. I am sorry. Let me help,” he says softly. “I am not leaving you here.”

“Why not?” Gordon responds bitterly. “You did earlier.”

“I know.” It surprises him when he says it, and Gordon’s not innocent either, but he can’t deny that he ran, retreated, and made himself scarce in work that couldn’t be done safely with a phone distracting him. “I know, Gordo.”

“It’s not fair. You can’t just leave when you know I can’t follow.”  Even so, it’s obvious that Gordon still had tried, and it’s a stab to the gut to think about how long his brother had been stuck in the lounge, to realize that he is so used to this level of pain that he can sleep through it. He looks up at him, eyes glazed with pain when he pleads, “Please don’t do it again. Please don’t leave me alone.” Then with a twist of the knife, “You’ve always been the one that stays.”

He is the freaking worst brother in the history of existence.

There’s little Virgil can do in reply but hang his head, as he helps work the kinks out of Gordon’s back, moving slowly towards his lumbar region where multiple surgeries and lingering nanobots have started to rebuild the damage. Gordon’s spine is 40% bone, 50% metal, and 10% nanobots.

Both the surgery and the nanobots were new procedures, and while Gordon’s case was a perfect scenario for the parameters, there was a timetable to be upheld. The nanobots were dispersed into his spine overtime, every two weeks, by way of a large needle. Each injection was a step closer to full recovery.

With nanotechnology, they didn’t know how badly it could wrong, and even Brains had reminded him he had to stick to the approved physical therapy plan if he wanted to keep those nanobots working. A shock to one of their microscopic systems could mean a full failure in their duty to realign a critical nerve. Gordon could ruin everything with his obstinacy.

Virgil had just been afraid for Gordon, afraid to fail when the stakes were so high. He hadn’t meant to leave him. Not like that, not with the gut-twisting wound of betrayal that came with it. Virgil just needed time to process – he always had. His anger was the slow vibration of magma.  It was easier to work through his emotions when he had time to think through them, and he didn’t mind going to bed angry. And if he was still angry in the morning it meant that whatever had transpired, it was worth his frustration.

Gordon, though, pushed and pushed until whatever confrontation was forced to happen in the here and now until his point of view was seen or the matter was resolved.  His anger was fire, a deluge of sparks until you were surrounded. It was never a good combination.

Virgil left before he exploded. Gordon from a year ago would’ve known that.

“Any better?”

“A little,” he nods.

But Gordon is not the kid he was a year ago.

It’s a muscle pain, Gordon admits, a stiffness he knows well. Any damage to his spine – well, that’s a different kind of pain. Even still, they need to check to make sure he didn’t injure himself further, and that it is ok for him to move. He is just going to leave for a second Virgil promises, and he runs to the infirmary for the scanner.

It's programmed to find the status of every nanobot in Gordon’s system and will automatically report back to Brains and the team of doctors on the mainland. The green lights across the image of Gordon’s spine seem promising, and Virgil adds a brief journal entry to send with the timed log: Over-exerted in exercises today, muscle stiffness resulting in spasms and inability to move, but no apparent damage to nanos. Massaged area.  – VT

Just in case, he’d rather have a doctor sign off. He adds:  OK to move?

A message comes back with a ding, indicating it’s from one of Gordon’s doctors in reply.

“So what’s the damage. Am I still one step closer to being a cyborg?”

Virgil is not going to dignify that joke with a response, frowning, but tells him he is okay to move.  They agree on the recliner on the opposite side of the lounge. Virgil helps shift him to his side so that he can be picked up, and he tries to be as gentle as possible with his movements, carefully slipping one arm below Gordon’s knees and the other at his upper back. At the same time, Gordon slings his arm around Virgil’s neck.

They’ve had a lot of practice. Lift from the legs, never the back.

Gordon hisses with the movement and tucks his head into Virgil’s chest.

“What furnace ran you over?” He asks through gritted teeth.

“I know. Sorry about the smell. I was welding.”

Gordon grunts in reply as Virgil situates him in the recliner, raising the footrest and lowering the backrest into position. They have a few heating pads around the villa, the closest being in a supply cabinet, but Virgil treks down to Gordon’s room instead for the one that lives there so he can also bring back Gordon’s hoverchair at the same time. Gordon’s not fond of the chair and what it means, but he’ll appreciate the independence it  affords him once he’s feeling better. He’ll be able to come and go as he’s ready.

Gordon nods appreciatively when he sees what Virgil has brought back, and it is with expert hands that Virgil guides the heating pad to Gordon’s lower back. The blond exhales, breathing deeply.

“30 minutes only, Gordo. Set a timer.”  He gives him a thumbs up, but Virgil knows he needs to keep an eye too. Gordon has a habit of just leaving the heat on. “I mean it.”

Water next. Even though the headache behind his eyes has a bit more of Gordon’s name on it now, he is still parched. And Gordon could use some extra fluids too.

He heads to the kitchen and fills up two 32 oz jugs.

“Here you go. Hydrate,” Virgil says when he returns, handing over Gordon’s favorite. He is happy to see Gordon’s small smile at the cartoon llama and motivational phrase: Listen to your llama, drink your water and hold the drama. Virgil has an entire shelf of coffee mugs to express himself. Gordon has water bottles.

It’s such a simple thing, Gordon’s smile. But he’d thought for a long time he’d never see it again.

For a few moments, the dim lounge is quiet save Virgil’s desperate guzzling as the water soothes his dry throat. Finally, some relief.

“You going to slow down there, big guy?”

He shakes his head as he swallows.

This evening was too much.

From the throb of his headache to the prickling in his fingers, Virgil’s body vibrates with the whiplash of the emotions from the past few hours. Exhaustion, anger, fear, anger again, sadness, guilt.

“Do you want to maybe not drown yourself?” Gordon asks. “That’s my job.”

Virgil stops gulping the water with a gasp of air, and the remaining fluid sloshes as the water jug topples out of his trembling hand. Gordon flinches at the loud thump it makes as it hits the hardwood and rolls. Virgil is shell shocked where he stands.  

“Fuck. Not like that,” Gordon corrects quickly. “Shit, sorry. I just meant no one can drown you but me.”

Ah.

“I need to sit.” Virgil falls back to piano bench, dropping his head into hands and rubbing at his eyes.

Too much.  

“A-are you ok?”

“I don’t know.” A pause as Virgil looks up. “Are you?”

“I don’t know.”

They’ve made a mess of this evening, such terrible things they said to each other in Gordon’s room, and they’re both tired, drained, with maelstroms behind their eyes.

Gordon holds his gaze as Virgil looks away.

Virgil glances over as Gordon looks away.

Beneath fluttering fingertips, Virgil bounces his knee. Gordon closes his eyes and focuses on his breathing, the heat on his back, on the beat of Virgil’s foot tapping on the floor.

He asks, “Hey Virgil? Can you play something?”

“Yeah,” Virgil breathes. “I can do that.” He had been about to ask Gordon if he minded.

Back poised, Virgil turns away and opens the lid of his baby grand in the moonlight, and he plays, channeling every moment of the night into melodies that speak in ways he knows neither one of them can.

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

Then again, maybe it is that simple.

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon and ah, its just me than. Links on tumblr break half the time for me sorry bout that!

1: Mostly how it looks in the actual episode but with some changes. Its gaint, even has multiple floors, most rooms have a glass dome roof with iron railings (3-4) lining the bottom of the glass. The hallway typically have windows leading up to the roof, but the roof and both floor are a mix of materials like iron, copper, wood, and even gold. The most complex room is the Council room, which has a a higher roof than the rest, with mostly wood railings that go all the way up and lead to a circle at the top. The Council is the group that leads Mizu, they have 1 leader of every Idol to represent the different opinions of the citizens, with 1 special member that doesnt belong to any Idol, and is instead used to represent the opinions of people who either haven't chosen a idol yet, got kicked out of a idol following, and just to give a unbiased opinion most of the time. They do make most decisions, mostly those relating to topics like construction, farming, money distribution, where people can live, etc. And they also mostly agree on most subjects and don't agure, but they do have massive disagreements on topics and problems like Representation in other Cities/Kingdoms, trading, visitors and immigrants, and sometimes supply missions. 

3: Situations like taking care of his siblings (I have decided Benjamin shall have siblings) and friends, and he was also put under extreme stress as a kid in school and family life, but unlike Ranbob, he managed to successfully communicate his struggle and find coping mechanisms. Also when he went off to live by himself for a bit, he was under sudden extreme situations where he had to make split second decision. So he just learned from everything thats happened to him over time. 

8: Levi exists purely to make Watson and others go insane. People claimed it was made up because they claimed most events as unrealistic (like Doomsday, Techno escaping a death trial, Pandoras Vault (they believed it impossible for something to be inescapable)). Plus the fact it seemed cruel such young people where faced with such trauma that no sane person would let it happen, and the fact most historical important items couldn't be found, people claiming that they where made up (also cause if the land was that exposed to such devastation, it would've collapsed on itself). No to both of those, by this point their to far away from Dream for him to have a direct meaningful affect on the group, and while the residents of Kelalen know it was Dreams sword, the group does not know. Nope! Mizu came about years after Kelalen was forgotten about and shamed. And Mizu was only made because of the growing number of believers in the SMP history was causing disruptions in both the political sense and educational sense, so it was made to separate the "outcasts". Though Mizu eventually grew as big as most cities, and greatly civilized and advanced, though they where still often "forgotten" about and basically seperate from the Kingdom that set them up and became their own place (though not officially). 

They do have a friendship! Its not super close but their definitely friends. Ranbob is definitely a worrier, he heard that two of his friends almost died he immediately goes to them and fuses over them. And when their recovering he doesnt leave their side, infact Benjamin has to drag him away from the two just to get him to eat. And he refuses to sleep unless he's like directly on top of them. Yeah, Cletus challenges Grievous to a parkour challenge over a Delta Basalt, and he happily accepts. They end up giving everyone a heart attack after Cletus slips and almost falls onto a magma block. Jackie plays in soul sand and dumps a handful down Rans shirt, Watson teaches Charles and Isaac how to make gold from gold nuggets and more Piglin culture. When Cletus is cleared to be ok and Jackie stops getting soul sand in areas he didn't even know existed. They all sit in a circle and decide what they should try first, with Ran and Watson watching carefully and preventing them from drinking anything that they recognized as harmful. But other than that they just let the others do whatever. 

10: Because he couldn't use it, when Dream was a full human he used to be able to access his powers at his own will. But after his spirit got linked to his mask his power greatly reduced. To the point he relies on others for his powers, more specifically, he needs them to be exposed to him for a certain amount of time (like 2 weeks) until he can use their own essence/spirit to help his powers. When the group of people came after Ranbob left, they stayed for a long time, especially after they took the mask with them. Dream got the power back. Cause it is a "I worked to hard to give this up." Type situation. Ranbob was his first victim and the first person he had control over in decades, he considers Ranbob the puppet he was meant to have and refuses to let him go. Everyone is the nat to him, but specifically Ran. Cause Ran was the only person who survived the murders, so Dream sees him as a kill that was taken from him that he needs to fix. Everyone else to him is nothing more than an annoyance, and he's more than happy to use them as nothing more than a stepping stone to kill once he's done with them. 

13: Ran is stronger than everyone else, Jackie is faster than everyone else, and Watson is more acrobatic than everyone else. Sorry can you reword "Is Jackie considered stronger than them aside from shared tactics, or is it the other way around?"? I dont completely understand sorry. Kind of, I'll say. There can only be 3 ranking members, but it can also be 2 Corporals and 1 Sergeant. 

14: They where caught off guard, but also knew something must be going on due to the fishermen staying closer to Ranbob than normal. He never got too far, as he isnt very fast and Charles and both Isaac tend to be fast enough to get him. If the episode is really bad bringing him back can lead into physical fights but it rarely gets into that, as it seems like Ranbob really doesn't want to fight them most of the time, and holds himself back.

Well, I hope it’s working for you now, cause that sounds less than ideal, honestly.

1: Well, Mizu sounds gorgeous, quite frankly. As for the council having a member of no idol, what about that? People can get kicked out from an idol group? Why? Do some just never choose an idol? Also, how’s the housing situation there? Are there like, apartments on one of the floors, or something? Why does the council not really agree on outside affairs?

3: Not gonna lie, I’m rather curious. What kind of life did Benjamin lead to be under such heavy stress? Does he relate to Ranbob because of this? And what was he doing when he lived on his own to need to make fast-paced decisions? Also, siblings! What’re his siblings like?

8: He sounds like it.

And hm. There are several things I’ve taken from this. 

Do totems no longer exist, if they don’t believe Techno could have survived, or did that particular piece of the story just get left out over time?

Has Pandora’s vault fallen? And why would people find it unbelievable? If it’s the future, shouldn’t they have even more advanced technology than that? Or is it simply the lack of evidence that leads them to disagreeing about it’s existence? 

They don’t believe people would have been so cruel to the younger ones? Oof, um. Well, at least that says something about the future, I guess. 

Mizu sounds like it has an interesting history in it’s self. How do Ran and Ranbob feel about being in a world that basically shunned the people of what would eventually become their home? Do they ever have issues when people find out they originate from Mizu, or worship an idol? From how you put it, it seems like that wasn’t really looked upon well, since they shunted the people who did it to Mizu.

Friendships for the win! Maybe not close, but it sounds like an interesting dynamic. Charles honestly seems pretty mild, and as you said, shy, so putting him with Mr.Random And Chaotic certainly sounds like something. How did these two become friends?

And honestly, it sounds like everyone had a lot of unique experiences in the Nether. It also sounds like Ran and Ranbob were probably an inch from a heart-attack the entire time, considering the shenanigans ongoing. It sounds kind of cute that Ranbob was only sleeping when he was close to them though, and it gives me the image of a giant fluffy cat, so win-win there.

10: Interesting. Was Ranbob not enough to fully return that power to him when the Fishermen first came and took him? Or did Dream just not think they’d get that far and not react in time, when he still had that power from his puppet?

And, uh, wow. Dream was certainly off his rocker before, but that’s definitely cemented now. Is anyone aware he thinks of Ranbob in such a way? Does Ranbob know? How are everyone’s feelings on that-besides y’know, ‘gonna murder Mr.Mask Man’. How does everyone feel about being considered as ‘nats’?

13: Huh. And yeah, I confused myself rereading that. Basically, is Jackie considered stronger than those two? You said they were mostly on par, because of the shared tactics, so when it comes to cutting those shared tactics out of the picture, does Jackie come out on top?

14: So the gang could tell? If I may ask, what were the tells that gave Ranbob away?

[fernrisulfr]

Unpopular FGO Opinion/Rant 2: Bio-Diesel Boogaloo

My second unpopular opinion, though I’ve seen more agreement to this, and there’s a post somewhere that I reblogged which gives a much more comprehensive explanation as to why this is, but “Lostbelt 3: Synchronized Intellectual Nation, SIN” is bad. There’s a few reasons it’s bad.  I will however say this first. Everything about Spartacus? Was good. It was very good. This was a Lostbelt that showed just what Spartacus can be to the narrative. He can be more than just manically shouting about “OPPRESION!!!” in the right setting. My significant other was right when she said the reason he had to die so early in Apocrypha was because had he lived any longer than that, he absolutely would have joined Sieg in starting a Homunculus rebellion. 

So why is Lostbelt 3 bad? A few things. One is that the narrative is very poorly managed. It starts very slow, and almost nothing introduced in the first half actually goes anywhere. Then when we hit the second half of the story the narrative suddenly goes “Oh shit! We’re half done! Better pick up the pace!” and jams it’s foot on the accelerator so that things escalate so quickly barely any of it has time to matter. 

Focusing on the first half of the story, that Vitch was releasing beasts and giants on villages, a point which took up a large chunk of the story, actually went NOWHERE. It really had nothing to do with the story, and the quests themselves brought me back to Orleans where every node and notch was “Here’s two blocks of dialogue. Now fight some Wyverns!”. It was a massive backwards step in FGO’s storytelling. Another issue is that in every Lostbelt so far they’ve tried to give us some sidekick from the world we’re going to prune so we can feel bad about it later, but the one in Lostbelt 3, which he at least got eyes unlike the other anonymous villagers, the kid didn’t even get a NAME. How are we supposed to care about a character with no name and almost no personality to speak of? The kid was quite literally barely more than a generic NPC. 

Speaking of generic NPCs. Let’s talk about how DEEPLY Lostbelt 3 mistreated it’s characters, which is the real crux of why Lostbelt 3 is bad. So Nezha and Mordred just did not matter at all, to the extent they literally got shoved out of the story part way in. Mordred was there for comparison and pairing with Spartacus, but the moment he died she became unimportant and basically didn’t do anything. Nezha started off alright, but then the moment other characters showed up she was likewise shoved to the side, and ultimately out of the story. She basically existed solely to identify that Xiang Yu was a similar existence to herself. Speaking of, Xiang Yu and  Yu Mei-ren’s romance was completely unbelievable. For multiple reasons. Again there’s another tumblr post by someone who’s put more thought into this than I, that explains this better. I’ll try and find it and reblog it again. Anyway. It’s bad and unbelievable. I’ll try to summarize why. Part of the problem is that there’s no real build up to it. It’s a lot of Mei-ren fawning over or being overtly protective of Xiang, and Xiang just being confused. It’s entirely one-sided till almost the end of the story. Then he just does some magic robot calculations and he decides he loves her just like the other Xiang Yu. Which is the other thing the narrative doesn’t pay enough attention to in this “romance”. HE’S NOT THE SAME GUY. Like he’s the “same guy” but an alternate reality version. Mei-ren basically found her husband’s doppleganger and decided to cling to him hoping it’d be the same/because she couldn’t bare to watch another man with that face die. Which could have been very interesting! Really! But it wasn’t paid enough attention to or written properly to BE interesting. Honestly the relationship between Xiang and Mei-ren could have formed an emotional backbone to the story, and instead it’s just kinda off to the side and comes up occasionally, but it’s “super important really!” by the end of the story. 

Related to this is also Gao Changgong, Prince of Lanling, who was UTTERLY UNIMPORTANT. Like he should have been! The Lostbelt started off super strong with that exchange between Gao and Mei-ren in the past, and then the narrative did nothing with it. Gao barely said anything the whole Lostbelt when he should have been more relevant to the plot! He should have been a confidante to Mei-ren! It should have come up that he was happy to be able to see her again in “another life” (such as being a Servant is like living again, albeit briefly). He should have been more involved with Mei-ren and Xiang Yu! Like it could have been done so many ways! He could have been her wingman! Or he could have been her confidante who she talked to about her struggle with Xiang Yu being Xiang Yu but not being HER Xiang Yu. Instead he just didn’t do much, died earlier than any Crypter servant so far in their own Lostbelt, and became utterly irrelevant. 

Red Hare and Chen Gong appeared part way into the story, and served no purpose beyond being Comic Relief, which was a real disservice; especially because their summoning was supposed to be important. It follows after the death of Spartacus, where the Lostbelt suddenly becomes connected to the throne of Heroes because the people regain hope and the concept of a Hero. Their arrival is SIGNIFICANT and then the narrative goes on to do nothing with them. Literally anyone could have been summoned and it would have played out the same. That’s how much their appearance mattered. 

Old Man Li was there, but he also didn’t matter. Specifically it didn’t matter that he was Old Man Li. It doesn’t even come up. It literally could have been anyone. Could have been just some dude, and narratively it would have been the same. 

Which is largely the biggest problem with the narrative. Most of the Servants/Characters present could have been literally anyone and it would have been almost exactly the same. Who anyone was largely did not matter. 

Now let’s address the insect in the room, Emperor Mothman himself,  Shi Huang Di. He was bad. Not like “he was a bad guy”. I mean he was just bad. Poorly written and uninteresting. He was unsympathetic and poorly written. Now. Let me be clear, a villain doesn’t need to be sympathetic. My problem here is that he was unsympathetic, but at the very end of the story they tried to act like he was. I felt nothing for this character, and still do not. He was poorly written and the aspects of him that could have been interesting were under utilized. Also not a fan of his design personally, or at least not compared to images I’ve seen of what he apparently looked like before he became a super-computer, followed by his new moth bod. That’s just a matter of personal preference though and I have no real issues with his physical design. Point is he’s boring. Like everyone else in the story, and despite being there for most of it, he was under utilized, didn’t do much, and his role could have been filled by just about anyone and it would have played out the same. 

And that’s my rant. There’s honestly more to criticize, like the unnecessary on screen torture of Vitch, the generic battles, everything about Liangyu, but I am starting to lose my motivation two rants in, and I fear anything I say at this point will just be me repeating myself. My point is, Lostbelt 3 is bad, and of the first three lostbelts it’s narratively the weakest. (Lostbelt 2 had a LOT of problems, but it was still better. I am at least a little biased though due to a love of Norse Mythology and Sigurd, though those things also make me about three times as judgey as a normal person.).  Anyway. Lostbelt 3 bad. That’s just my opinion. Agree or Disagree, you’re entitled to feel what you do about the matter. 

[severetimetravelnerd]

Hatred and Love (ft. G Dragon) Mafia AU

Part 14

Jiyong realises something very important.

(I don’t own any of the images used. All credit goes to the original owners.)

Taglist:

@unabashedturkeytreeslime​

@happiestgirlontheeastcoast​

@kwonnansi​

@aarfyie​

@suhappysuho​

If there is anyone else who would like to be tagged, you can comment or leave me a message :))

I only write on this blog on tumblr, so if you see my work on any other platform, please let me know immediately.

Now, things are coming to a close. It has appearances from Daesung, Taeyang, TOP, Mino, Hanbin and EXO (mostly Kai). This continues with the EXO storyline, but again, I have nothing against EXO :)) I love them, but I had to use someone for the plot. This chapter has a lot of Suho. It also has a good amount of Xiumin:))

This is the last part of the series and I’m so sorry it took me so long to upload it :(((( I know it’s been ages, but after all of this, I just blanked out when it came to the ending. Thanks for supporting me and following the story :)) I’m going to miss this one :))

Warnings: Violence, Death(not main character), Injury, Blood, Eventual smut, Abduction, Guns and Knives, language. 

————————————————————————–

You had no idea what to expect. You turned to Jiyong, eyebrows raised, wondering what Joonmyeon could possibly want, but Jiyong looked just as stumped as you. He was also way angrier. His eyes immediately became cold and hard. 

“What does that fucker want now?” 

You gently took his hand, trying to calm him down. 

“Let’s go into this with an open mind? Maybe he wants to come up with some sort of agreement?” 

Jiyong tried to conceal his anger but that didn’t work very well. His jaw was absolutely taut when he spoke. 

“Y/N, he wants to fuck things up somehow. Why else would he want you there? You’re the one person I’m scared of disappointing.”

 You planted a light kiss on his cheek, instantly making him relax.

 “Then maybe that’s a good thing. You won’t do anything that would disappoint me.” 

He sighed, but he kissed you back.

 “You’re right, Y/N. You’re the only person I can stay calm for.”

The two of you walked into Jongin’s room, that had been turned into a makeshift conference room. Joonmyeon was there in a wheelchair. Yixing and Sehun were also there with their hands bound, both flanked by Hanbin and Mino, making sure neither of them try something funny. Jiyong took his place at the head of the table, prepared to let Joonmyeon start, but Joonmyeon looked up straight at you. Still looking at you, he said, 

“No Jiyong. That seat isn’t for you. That seat is for her. Your side of the table is over there.” 

Jiyong stretched his neck, unable to believe what Joonmyeon just told him. You were also in complete shock. Why would he want you at the head of the table? Before you could overthink it, Joonmyeon said, 

“I want Y/N to be the head and mediator of this meeting. She can guide us towards a merger.” 

His eyes were thrown at you, as though daring you to take up the challenge, daring you to mess up. Jiyong eyes turned dark with pure, unadulterated rage and he was about to step in when you met Joonmyeon’s gaze. This guy had messed with you one too many times. You had had enough.

 “Okay Joonmyeon. I will.” 

Every single head in the room whipped towards you, wondering what you were playing at. Jiyong, still in shock, quietly got up and went to his seat. You sat down, slowly crossing your legs. Your eyes were so determined, they were nearly piercing through Joonmyeon. No one there had ever seen you that way before. Not even when they first abducted you. Staring straight at him, you began. 

“Well, Joonmyeon, what did you want to discuss?”

 Your gaze was hostile, openly challenging him to try and mess with you. Joonmyeon hated it. He hated that he felt so guilty about harming you and Jongin. He hated that he owed you his life. He hated that he couldn’t completely hate you. This was just his way of trying to find reasons to hate you. But none of this struggle showed on the outside. Eyes cold and calculating, he said, 

“If we’re doing a merger, only I have control over my men.”

 Even before he finished the sentence, you could feel the anger and the protests from the rest of the room, including EXO, but you silenced them all with a glare. Joonmyeon just wanted to make things messy and you wouldn’t let him. Jiyong snarled when he heard that, but he calmed down when he looked at you there, his grip on his gun slowly loosening. Your voice was quiet but firm when you spoke. 

“Joonmyeon, I don’t think you understand your position. You asked for a merger. Not a partnership. With a merger, you become part of an organisation and work the same way the organisation had worked. So, no. You won’t be the only person to have control over your troops. You will be at the level assigned to you. And you will have to report to Jiyong.” 

Joonmyeon already knew all of that, but he just wanted to get a rise out of you. Nonchalantly stretching, he said,

 “Okay, but I’m second in command.”

 That was too much for Jiyong to bear and he scoffed. He threw his head back to laugh and then he slammed the table. His voice was dangerously detached when he did speak. 

“Joonmyeon, is this a joke to you?”

 You saw the glint in Joonmyeon’s eyes. He was happy he succeeded in getting a rise out of Jiyong. He felt that it somehow validated his behaviour and his deep-rooted hatred for them, although he knew they weren’t that bad. You had saved his life. Jiyong saved his men. He was just clutching at straws to justify his behaviour. You were determined to not give him those straws. You would make him realise that there wasn’t any justification for his behaviour. He would take accountability and realise where he went wrong, so that he could go back to being himself, instead of being obsessed with taking Jiyong down. Your hand quietly wrapped around Jiyong’s hand, silently urging him to not say anything. Jiyong eyes flashed, and he glared at you, annoyed that you were telling him to not react, but he kept quiet anyway. You tried to look at Joonmyeon, but he was refusing to look at you. He didn’t want to make eye contact. He could only put up the act as long as someone didn’t see through him. You tried to get him to peacefully meet your gaze, but when he absolutely refused to, you resorted to desperate measures. Standing up, you grabbed his chin and forced him to look straight at you. Your voice was still calm when you said,

 “Joonmyeon, you and I both know that’s not going to happen. You might not even get a commanding post for a while, because you, Yixing and Sehun have to prove your loyalties first. How are we supposed to trust you after everything that happened? You turned on Jongin. Why wouldn’t you do that again?” 

Joonmyeon could feel this crushing pain when you said that. He didn’t want to accept that he did that, but there was no other way to it. Joonmyeon lost all fight when you said that. You had seen through him. He quietly slipped out of your grasp and turned to Jongin, bowing deeply before saying, 

“Jongin, I’m sorry.” 

Jongin sat there, on his bed, in complete and utter shock. Joonmyeon hyung never apologised, especially not in front of other people. He was too in shock to say anything. Heart sinking even further, Joonmyeon turned to you, bowed and apologised. He then looked up and for the first time, his eyes were genuine. 

“Thank you for saving my life Y/N.”  

Everyone other than Minseok was in shock. Minseok had the slightest smile on his face. 

“Maybe we will get out Joonmyeon back after all.” 

Sehun and Yixing were both furious, and they were about to protest it, and Hanbin and Mino were ready to supress it, but you beat them to it. Voice cool, you said,

 “To prove their loyalty, Joonmyeon, Yixing and Sehun will work directly under Minseok and Youngbae for the next three months to start with. They’ll work on the Hongdae area.”

 Joonmyeon’s head shot up when he heard you. You were giving them control over Hongdae? The area that they’d been fighting for? Joonmyeon’s eyes teared up a little. He would finally get to take care of his sister’s grave. Joonmyeon immediately bowed before you. Yixing and Sehun were too shocked to do anything except stare at you in disbelief.

 “Thank you, Y/N. You don’t know how much this means to me.” 

You had the slightest smile on your face when you replied, 

“You’re welcome Joonmyeon.”

Jiyong sat there watching all the events unfold, feeling detached. He didn’t mind that you were making decisions for him. he knew the others wouldn’t mind either. He knew it was only because of you that they managed to resolve things with Joonmyeon. But he was more worried about the other things. The slight tremble in your hands from dealing with this. Your pale and tired face. Your tendency to flinch slightly when people make sudden movements. The near imperceptible tremor in your voice. You weren’t used to this, and it scared you. He felt awful. You didn’t deserve this. You had been through so much. You needed a break. And he would make sure you got one. For the first time in his life, Jiyong decided he would take a break with you. It wasn’t because he wanted to take a break, but more because you needed him around. As weird as it was, although Jiyong was the one drawing you into this world, your only way to feel better about everything was around him. And also, for the simple reason that he missed you, and couldn’t stand being away from you any longer. He was staring at you, making up his mind about exactly what to do when you turned to him.

 “Jiyong, that’s okay right?” 

He didn’t hear you. He had zoned you out, wondering how he got so lucky as to have you in his life. He would protect that at all costs. He would protect you at all costs. He would protect your happiness at all costs. You raised your eyebrows, wondering why he didn’t reply. You mentally scolded yourself for shooting your mouth off like that without talking to him first. You turned to Jiyong, much more nervous. 

“Jiyong? All okay, Love?” 

The vibe of the meeting had changed. Everything was much more relaxed. Sehun was trying hard not to cry, Yixing was apologising to everyone, Jongin was playfully guilt-tripping a very apologetic Joonmyeon about his injuries. But when you said that, everyone turned to Jiyong, a little nervous. He had a rather…intimidating reputation. Youngbae was the only one who was sure Jiyong would be okay with it. He was more interested in watching the drama between you and Jiyong unfold. Jiyong just stared at you, looking at him nervously. There was one thing that was different about you. No matter how nervous you were at that moment, there was no fear in your eyes. You looked at him trustingly, knowing fully well that no matter how dangerous a man he is, he would never hurt you. Ever. Jiyong didn’t bother answering your question. Jiyong just stood up, leaned over the table, grabbed your face and kissed you. A deep, hungry kiss. All his longing, all his fears, all his worries were in that. He deepened the kiss because as he felt your soft hands gently caress his bruised knuckles and kiss him back, he realised that there was something he needed to do. He needed to meet his grandmother.

You were very surprised when you were pulled up from your seat and kissed like there was no tomorrow, but you kissed him back equally longingly. You had missed him. You had never stopped worrying about him. You were right. You didn’t know whether there was going to be a tomorrow. You kissed him until you felt like you had the feel of his lips committed to memory. Cheers erupted all around you, although the two of you were quite oblivious to it. Hanbin rolled his eyes, laughing at the two of you while Jongin whistled. Hanbin leaned over and muttered to Jongin. 

“Thank god the two of them are back together. I didn’t think it was possible, but they’re more annoying on their own.”

 Jongin scoffed. 

“Hanbin, I can see that you’re tearing up.”

Jiyong pulled away first, both of you gasping for breath. You blushed at all the hooting boys around you, some newer than others, but all equally determined to embarrass you. Jiyong didn’t even bother to acknowledge the hooting. He just turned to Youngbae and whispered something in his ear, making you look at him quizzically. He turned to give you a quick, reassuring smile before speaking. 

“Okay. Now that the merger is done, I have an announcement. I’m going to be away for a month. Youngbae is second in command. Don’t try to reach me unless it’s absolutely urgent.” 

Your heart fell. He was going to be away for a month. After everything. When you had just gotten back together. You had missed him so much. But you tried your best to not let your face fall, sticking a weak smile on your face. If he was leaving, it had to be important. You would talk to him about it in private. Everyone nodded except Hanbin. Hanbin was pouting when he said,

 “Who’s after Youngbae hyung?” 

Jiyong froze for a second, staring at Hanbin before sighing and answering. 

“Seunghyun hyung.” 

“After him?”

 “Daesung.”

 “After him?” 

“Minseok.”

 Minseok looked surprised while Hanbin’s pout deepened.

 “Hanbin, are you really going to make me list this out in order?”

 “Yes.” 

Jiyong glared at him and answered. 

“Then it’s Mino. Then it’s Jongdae. Then it’s Baekhyun. Then Chanyeol. Then it’s you. Then it’s Jongin. Then it’s Kyungsoo. Then it’s Joonmyeon, Yixing and Sehun. In that order.”

 While the others laughed at Hanbin arguing with Jiyong, you struggled to keep that smile on your face. Jiyong playfully glared at the rest of the room before grabbing your hand and walking out of the room. Your heart sank even more. He was going to say bye. He was going to leave again. You were staring at the floor, letting yourself get lost in your thoughts when he tilted your head up and beamed at you, the smile leaving quickly when he saw that you weren’t smiling. 

“What’s wrong love?” 

You bit down on your trembling lips and looked away, not wanting to make him feel worse. He gently cupped your face and made you look at him. 

“Talk to me Y/N. Tell me what’s wrong.”

 You took a deep breath.

 “I’m just going to miss you Jiyong.”

 He looked terrified. 

“Why? Why’re you going to miss me? Are you leaving me?” 

You stared at him confused. 

“No. You’re going somewhere, remember?”

 Jiyong’s brows knitted together in confusion before he laughed and pulled you into a hug. 

“Sweetheart, if you think I’m going anywhere without you after not having seen you for the past month, you’re in for a surprise.”

 It took a while for it to hit you, but when you finally realised he wasn’t leaving, you hugged him tight, burying your face in his chest. You looked up at him, confused.

 “You mean I’m coming with you on work?” 

He leaned in and nibbled on your ear, pressing a light kiss against your neck before saying,

 “No. I mean we’re going on a holiday.”

 Two weeks later, you lay down on the plush bed in Jiyong’s hidden away holiday home, buried under the blankets and wearing his hoodie, so utterly happy with how everything just felt right. You closed your eyes and buried deeper into the bed, enjoying the warmth of it. You felt the bed dip as you heard Jiyong’s sleepy morning voice.

 “Good morning love. I got you your tea.”

 He sat and was about to sip his tea when you crawled into his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck, snuggling into him. Amused, he asked,

 “Do you not plan on letting me drink my tea?” 

You took in a deep breath, letting Jiyong’s familiar scent wash over you.

 “Nope.’’

 “Do you plan on moving from here?”

 Pressing a light kiss against his smile, you said,

 “Nope.”

 You stared out of the balcony. It was 3 am on your last night there, and you were lost in thought while you stared at the stars. That one month was magical. You had Jiyong all to yourself, and both of you sat and worked through the problems in your relationship. You knew you loved him. You knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. You knew you weren’t scared of him. You couldn’t live without him. You didn’t realise how windy it was until he walked out behind you, wrapping a blanket around you. He wrapped his arms around you and nuzzled into your neck. 

“Love, you have to be careful. You can’t stand out here in just my t shirt.” 

You turned around to face him, wrapping the blanket around the both of you. 

“Jiyong, you came out here in just your boxers. I don’t think you should be lecturing me.” 

He had this blissful smile as he kissed your forehead.

 “I couldn’t help it Y/N. I just needed to be out here with you.” 

You had the same blissful smile as you kissed him, letting yourself get lost in the kiss. He pulled away, suddenly looking nervous. 

“Y/N, I know we’re going back tomorrow, and I know I’ll get busy, but like we discussed, I promise I will always make time for you.” 

He paused to take a deep breath, desperately trying to calm down that rising feeling of nervousness in him. 

“I know you can do way better than me, and you deserve way better, but I promise I will always respect you, and I will do anything to make you happy. I’ve realised I can’t live without you, and I know this might be too sudden, and I don’t want to put any pressure on you, but you’re the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with and start a family with. So, Y/N L/N, will you do me the honour of marrying me?” 

You stared at him in shock for a minute, unable to comprehend what was going on before a single tear slipped down your face, and you burst into the largest smile you had in you. You nodded vigorously. 

“Yes, Kwon Jiyong, I would love to marry you.”

 Jiyong felt all the nervousness leave his body only to be replaced with an overwhelming, indescribable feeling of joy. There are no words for how he felt in that moment. And as he slipped on the beautiful ring his grandmother had given him to give you, he lifted you up and kissed you, knowing that everything finally felt right.

[rpbetter]

Hey there, check out this pinned post first!

Thanks for visiting Roleplay Better, where I believe that you can fucking do better! That kind of language, however, is why it is important for you to read this post before proceeding.

This blog and its posts are meant for an adult RPing audience; be over legal, adult age in the USA, 18+. Do not interact by submitting, asking, reblogging, commenting, or liking unless you are over eighteen years of age. By interacting with RPB or me, Vespertine, you are assumed to be following this rule. If you are breaking this rule, you will be blocked.

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not safe for work - violence, injury, sexual language, smut, substance use

“dark topics” and themes like violence, unhealthy relationships, mental illness, trauma, graphic injury, dubious consent, substance use, and so forth addressed realistically

foul, sexual, and otherwise “Adult” language

 unpopular opinions and approaches about writing, RP, fandoms

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this blog is founded upon the idea that fiction has reflections in reality, but that fiction does not utterly equate to reality. You should write with realism, your characters should be people in their own right, and you should absolutely be addressing many popular topics responsibly, which is to say realistically. I do not support or otherwise condone purity culture, so while realism is a big deal here, fiction = reality arguments are a no

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Don’t tumblr message me. Use the inbox or submit.

Due to recent events, I am changing this rule. It’s hard for me to receive messages unexpectedly, and I hate to imply that I’ll be able to get to these quicker because it isn’t the truth. Quicker, better responses come from the inbox. However, there have been too many incidents lately in which people needed to speak privately and had to make that a request. If you’re having a problem and need to vent, request sensitive advice, etc.? It’s alright, go ahead and drop me a PM, y’all. I’ll get back to you as soon as I am able. Please, do not be angry with me if I respond to inbox things or my queue is running! You’re important to me, I just might not have the requisite social cognition and energy you deserve at that time.

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people who think giving muses labels, including top/bottom “dynamics,” is a good substitute for character traits, personality, and development

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people who are going to tack onto my posts shit like, “it’s okay, OP, you can say x character.” Trust me, if I were talking about one character, I fucking would name drop them, don’t bring me into your fandom drama, I doubt I know or want to know who that anime guy is who looks like 12 other anime guys to me.

About Vespertine

You can call me that, Vespertine. I’d rather you didn’t go with Vesper, but as it is unfortunately so likely to happen, I won’t feed you to the dogs over it either. RPB Mun is also acceptable.

I’m alright with either she/her or he/him, they/them is also fine. Apparently, that was big enough clue-in for the poor reading comp crowd, so while I feel it is not of importance, I’m nonbinary, yes.

Late 30′s, chronically ill but still working adult with neurodivergence. I’m both busy and Busy, and always sick. This limits my brain power and ability to be here. I have an active RP blog that I won’t be sharing to keep responsible distance. That is always going to be my priority, it is my primary hobby.

Please, don’t tumblr message me totally random things if we don’t have that kind of relationship! I’m too ill and busy, and it really fucks my nerves to have a bunch of messages/have to suddenly interact socially with people. Don’t do it. Use my inbox, use the submit, comment on posts. I cannot do random messages of “hey” and so forth.

I only do written RP, don’t expect me to understand much of anything from tabletop. I’ve RPed for the last 23 years consistently, on every platform from AOL chats to forums to messengers and here. I also don’t do RP in discord, so I’m sorry, but I can’t advise you much on anything with a word count, except to stop it for serious RP. Other than that, I promise you that I’ve seen the trends, the drama, the fandoms. I can give a lot of advice and perspective on a wide range of topics, situations, and characters! When I don’t have a clue at all, I’ll try to do enough research to give you an answer.

Do I come off as a horrible, strict asshole? I do! I’m not going to say that I am just a shy bean who is more scared of you than you are me. I’m not. I’m honestly feral, but have common decency, compassion, and sense. All of which are lacking in the general RPC. So, if you can inbox/common/otherwise interact with anyone else on this site, you can totally handle me!

Honesty and openness are policies.

And in the spirit of that, I repeat; you can fucking do better, tumblr RPC!

[luv4fandoms]

Earth Angel (GabrielXOFC) Part 2.2

Second part of chapter 2 because it was too big for Tumblrs limit.

And just in case you are coming across this before the first part...as I say in all the chapters...This doesn't fully follow the Supernatural timeline, somethings have been changed (like Gabriel's death in the au world cause it was stupid and I refuse to accept it lol) so just a heads up. This is also inspired by @askpsychocas 's Angel Courting Ritual post (which I use in my story. Askpsychocas if you want me to take those parts out let me know and I will). This story also has a Scott Pilgram vibe lol.

The link to the first part can be found below.

If you would like to be added to the taglist for this story let me know

Gif by @beneathgabrielswings , I couldn't find it on the Gif search but you can find the gifset here

Part 1...Part 2.1...Masterlist

Pairings: Gabriel x Original female character

Warnings: killing, talk of adultery, Gabriel being a charming/fluffy lil sh*t

Word count: (total) 8,725(this part)4,599

https://ko-fi.com/luv4fandoms

"A date?" I asked, quickly covering up my shock with a smirk of my own.

"Yeah, she only goes after couples right? So let's act like a couple" he explained. And for some reason his explanation slightly hurt.

'All for the case' my mind stated. 

"Yeah...Yeah sure that might help end this faster" I nodded, quickly stepping out of the car before Gabriel could read my expression. My emotions needed to get in check, quick, this whole week they had been in an uproar because of him and I still wasn't sure why.

"Well you could have at least let me open the door for you" Gabriel joked, I forced a smile and shook my head. 

"You gotta be quicker if you wanna do that" 

We headed towards the ticket booth and into the slightly long line, there were already a bunch of couples here, all either holding hands or cuddling into each other. Again I felt a sting of sadness, must be nice to have someone like that-but was it really real? Or was at least one of them simply playing a part? I must have been focused on my own thoughts for too long because I soon felt a hand in mine before a voice spoke up.

"Two please" I looked over at Gabriel as he handed the woman at the booth the money in exchange for our tickets. He thanked her and guided me through the gates, my eyes rested on our hands, how many years had it been since I simply held hands with someone? In this life simple things like that don't come often, and his hands were warm, far warmer than a humans, even if he didn't have giant wings, the heat alone would give him away. I watched his hand move, fingers turning to intertwine with mine before I heard him chuckle.

"Is this ok?"

"Huh?" I asked, looking up to meet his gaze, he gave me a soft smile, hand gently moving mine as if to gesture to what he was talking about. 

"O-oh yeah, yeah it's fine" I smiled before turning to look out at all the people.

"So a red head" I stated.

"Redhead" Gabriel confirmed before pulling me along. 

"I mean, while we're here" he said while gesturing to all of the game stalls.

"Would be a shame to not have a little fun"

"You know almost all of these things are rigged" I stated while looking at all the games, watching as so many people tested their skills in order to win prizes for their dates.

"Well I'm sure I can even out any cheating" he replied with a wink as he led me to a game, this one was the one where you knock down the cans, the one where usually the cans are weighted and the ball is far too light to do anything.

"Hello sir!" The overly eager carnie smiled at Gabriel.

"Hey kiddo, so how does this work?" Gabriel asked, playing dumb.

"Five dollars gets three tries, knock the top row off and get a small prize, the middle row gets a medium price and the bottom row gets a large prize." He explained as he took the money Gabriel handed him.

"See anything you like sugarplum?" He asked, looking back at me. 

"Surprise me sweetheart" I smiled, earning a smile before he turned back to the game and threw the first two balls, acting like the game was kinda difficult, only knocking a few off the top row, before he knocked the entire stack down with the last ball. 

"Saved by the last one" The teenager smiled

"What will it be sir?"

"Hmmm, how about...that" Gabriel told him, pointing to one of the large stuffed animals, the teen got it down and handed it to him.

"Thank you for playing!" 

Gabriel turned and handed me the prize...A giant stuffed wolf.

"Why thank you sir" I smiled and took it from him before he reached down and took my hand again.

"Why a wolf?" I asked, curious but having a feeling.

"Well we did first meet on that Werewalker case" he told me, confirming my thoughts.

"To commemorate our first meeting" I smiled down at the plush.

"And when I first started falling for you" he added with a grin making me roll my eyes.

"Whatever you say there Casanova" I smirked, forcing down the blush and feelings his words brought forth.

"Come one let's play another game"

"Oh but I thought they were all rigged" he smirked.

"They are...But they're still fun" I said with a small smile as we walked towards the balloon dart game, this one was run by a not so happy middle aged man.

"Five dollars gets you three darts, 1 dart wins a small prize, 2 darts a medium prize, and 3 a large prize" he droned on as I gave him the money.

"See anything you like sweetheart?" I asked Gabriel, mimicking his earlier words with a smile, earning a chuckle from him as he leaned against the small counter beside me, he looked through all the prizes before his eyes landed back on mine.

"Surprise me Sugar" I pulled my arm back and aimed, throwing the dart before a "pop" was heard once, twice, three times. 

"Remind me never to challenge you to a game of darts" he laughed.

"How do you think I make my money at bars?" I laughed.

"I figured men just threw money at you as a gift for being able to just lay their eyes on you" he spoke, stepping behind me and placing his hands on my hips, boy was he laying it on thick.

'Just for the case' I had to remind myself as I felt my heart speed up.

"So what will it be?" The man asked, clearly annoyed with us.

"Oh, right, sorry" I laughed, looking up.

"That one" I stated, watching as he pulled it down and handed it to me, Gabriel let go of me so I could turn and trade him the wolf plush for his plush, a yellow candy heart plush that simply read "sweetie". 

"Aw Sugarplum" he smiled.

"Figured it fit since I called you that when we first met...And you eat candy like it's going out of style" I told him as he once again took my hand in his,laughing along with him.

"I love it" he smiled, eyes meeting mine with such a softness that made me stop walking, he had never looked at me like that, not in all the times he almost insisted on eye contact. My gaze didn't break from his, even as my brain took notice of his wings stretching out, seemingly avoiding everyone who walked around us while he brought them closer, the extremely soft looking feathers almost grazing my arms before a voice broke our trance. 

"Hello my children, would you like to play a round?" I looked behind me to see a nun, my eyes widening a bit at the sight, a nun at a carnival? Running a stand? My expression must have portrayed my thoughts because the nun let out a soft laugh before explaining.

"We are taking donations for the church, you can play for free and still win a prize though if you'd like" she explained.

"Oh!"

"Just toss a ball into a cup and win a prize," she added.

"Let's give it a shot" Gabriel nodded, the nun smiled and handed us both five balls, and we both found out that the game was a bit more difficult, and I realized that Gabriel wasn't using any of his abilities, it seems he kept things honest when it came to nuns. Soon I ran out of shots, and Gabriel was on his last one, I watched as he threw it and it bounced off of the edge of one cup before coming to rest inside another.

"Congratulations!" The nun applauded, smiling at Gabriel before adding.

"What would you like?" 

"I'll let this lovely lady pick something," he replied, smiling at me and earning a smile from the nun.

"How about that?" I asked, pointing towards a small golden chain necklace that held a pair of gold wings, I would be lying if I said the winged being beside wasn't the reason for wanting the necklace, but I just wouldn't let him know that. Though I noticed his expression turn slightly shocked. The nun smiled and turned to grab the necklace, while I grabbed some money from my wallet. When she went to hand me the necklace she stopped upon noticing the money.

"Oh my dear I couldn't" she stated, looking from the hundred dollar bill to me.

"Please, I insist" I told her, but when she still didn't reach to take it.

"I didn't go to church, but I was raised in the faith, bible teachings, rosary, watching Mother Angelica every night" I laughed.

"We need people who fight against all the darkness" added with a smile, her face softened and a smile graced her lips.

"Bless you my dear child, the church thanks you more than words can say"

"Thank you sister, just doing my part" I told her, taking the necklace as she handed it to me. We walked away from the booth before Gabriel stopped.

"Allow me?" He asked, motioning towards the necklace.

"Oh, thank you" I smiled, taking the plushes and handing him the necklace, he walked behind me and gently placed it around my neck before clasping it. 

"So, what made you choose that?" He asked, and I had to quickly think of something. No one had yet mentioned his wings so I still figured it was forbidden to talk about. 

"I've always loved angel wing images, and I like gold so" I shrugged with a chuckle. He simply nodded, his expression almost…Disappointed, sad? Whatever it was I didn't like seeing it. 

"Here ya go, Sweetie" I smiled, handing him the heart, earning a small smile as he looked at it.

"Come on" he stated, reaching for my hand and smiling more when my hand met him halfway. We made our way to the cotton candy vender, still looking around for a woman that fit our description. 

"So do we see anyone she would most likely go after?" He asked.

"Almost everyone here" I noted, looking at all the couples.

"We just have to look for couples with a man who has wandering eyes" I added.

"Why do you think she goes after unfaithful men, easy targets?" He asked

"That or she herself was screwed over by a guy" 

"So she's taking it out on any guy she can?"

"Maybe she sees it as saving these women from suffering the same way she did" 

"A little extreme" 

"Says the man who made a frat kid believe he was abducted by aliens"

"Dean-o told you about that? That was funny"

"Funny, but extreme" I laughed

"To each their own" he replied, sticking his tongue out before walking up to the vendor and buying the biggest bag of cotton candy.

"So...Can I ask why this case almost seems personal to you?" Gabriel asked hesitantly while he held the now opened bag out to me. Sighing I reached in and grabbed some.

"Like I said, it's a long boring stor-"

"We hope you two are having better luck" Sam's voice rang out behind me, spinning around. I noticed Sam still looking around but Dean eating his own bag of cotton candy.

"Want some?" He asked, holding the bag out. Opening my mouth to answer I heard a high pitched rumble come from beside me, one that was almost at a tone people wouldn't be able to hear, and after a moment I realized it was almost a sort of growl coming from...Gabriel?

"Na I'm good, Gabriel got us some, thanks though" I smiled before reaching into the bag Gabriel was holding and grabbing some of the candy. Another high pitched noise met my ears, this one more of a pleased hum. Dean simply shrugged and kept eating.

"No luck here, I haven't even seen a red head in this crowd" I told Sam.

"Looks like you've had some luck" a female voice stated, looking over I noticed Claire and Jody. Claire looked down at the giant wolf before looking at me with a raised brow.

"Gabe won it for me" I shrugged.

"So you two just have a date in the middle of a case?" She asked with a smirk.

"We are hoping it will draw her out" I told her, she nodded but the look on her face screamed "you sure about that?".

"Well there are plenty of victims to choose from" Jody stated while we all looked around at the couples.

"If only we knew who was willing to cheat" Sam sighed.

"Tell me about it" I sighed as well, reaching over to grab more cotton candy...Only to grab nothing. I looked over and noticed Gabriel was no longer beside me, quickly looking around I noticed him walking behind the wall and stage that were set up for a magic show that was held earlier in the day. 

"Gabriel?" I spoke, loud enough to catch everyone's attention.

"Where the hell is he going?" Dean asked before we all started walking towards where he went. We rounded the corner to see...Gabriel and a red headed woman kissing, his hands resting on her hips and hers on his shoulders. A flood of emotions washed over me, many that I never wanted to experience again.

"Well it's about time you showed up" I stated, not even trying to hide the anger in my voice, I didn't know why I was feeling it so strongly, but I was, and it was annoying. I quickly tossed the wolf onto a nearby bench that I had noticed Gabriel left the heart and pulled out my gun, which luckily, held witch killing bullets. We watched as they slowly broke apart, before she turned to look at me.

"You really have gone downhill with your tastes Gabriel, you had me, and now you're with some human hunter trash? Pity" 

"Wait...you two?" Sam asked

"Were together, once upon a time yes, though Gabriel has always been the wild one of his family, never staying in place for too long, took me awhile to track him down" 

"Great, two exes in two weeks" I stated with an eye roll.

"Which one was it?" She asked, turning in his arms so her back was against his chest, his arms still around her.

"He had so many, I got rid of quite a few myself" she added

"If he has such a long list why do you want to be with him?" I asked.

"I could ask you the same thing" she snapped before looking over her shoulder at him.

"He made me feel wanted" I didn't like the feeling that was burning in my chest, seemingly wanting to claw its way out as I watched them look at each other, I wanted her away, far away, and that feeling was very new to me.

"But like I said, I've gotten rid of many of his exs already, a little human won't be so hard" she stated, throwing her hand up just as I felt my body being lifted and thrown backwards. I could hear the others yell beside me as they too were thrown, the wind rushed past as I felt a warmth wrap around my back, my body slamming into a steel pole but not feeling any of the impact, almost as if I had an airbag around me. I fell to the ground with a thud, my vision going blurry for a moment, I watched her drag Gabriel along as I tried to regain breath.

"Should have expected that" Dean groaned before I felt someone help me up.

"You ok?" Jody asked

"Yeah I think so" I told her, taking a deep breath and looking around.

"Where did they go?" 

"I saw them go that way" Claire pointed towards all the fun houses that sat at the very end of the fairgrounds.

"Let's go," Dean called, already running forward, we all set off, stopping once we got to the funhouses, all three of them.

"Sam you go with Jody and Claire, I'll take this one, Liz you take that one" Dean instructed, being met with no objections we all took off. I slowly stepped into the mirror maze, my gun at the ready. 

"I always hated these things" I sighed, using one hand to feel around for where I was supposed to go.

"Poor little hunter" her voice rang out, echoing off of the mirrors.

"You know what one of my powers are? I can see your past, what traumas have cut you and left scars"

"That's nice, do you want a cookie?" I snapped.

"Aww she acts brave, but is she really? Or does she just put up that front to cover the real truth?" I found myself in a large room that was completely encompassed in mirrors, and as I looked around I noticed her reflection in one, I quickly fired and watched as the glass broke to reveal nothing.

"The real truth that she's just a prude" another mirror, another shot.

"Ugly" another mirror, another shot.

"Dimwitted" another mirror, another shot.

"Pathetic excuse for a woman who will eventually die alone" another mirror, another shot, this time though, when it shattered it revealed an open door that led out into the woods that stood behind the fair. Bolting forward I quickly entered the woods, stopping once I got a little ways in, I listened for any sign of movement, my gun at the ready, I only had one bullet left. Just as I heard footsteps behind me I felt arms wrap around mine, pulling them back and restraining me. I tried to move but it felt like I was fighting against a boulder, looking back I was met with those honey eyes, now darker, like any trace of Gabriel was gone.

"Gabe" I spoke, but he didn't respond.

"Neat little trick huh? Something I have been perfecting, makes him do whatever I want"

"Let him go" I spoke through gritted teeth.

"Oh no can do little girl, see this one is the one that I'm not going to let away again. Now that I finally perfected the spell, he's mine forever" 

"The other men, they-"

"Were they just test subjects? Yes, though they were highly useful test subjects. Had to start out with hex bags first, then the better I got, well.."

"You ruined lives!"

"Oh boo hoo, you of all people should know how fickle human men can be, don't give them what they want and they'll find it someplace else. Why do you think I like my men to be a bit more...Supernatural" she smiled, stopping her circling and halting beside me. She leaned over and started kissing Gabriel again, my anger beginning to bubble over once more, but it quickly turned into that familiar hurt when I realized-he was kissing her back. I turned my head, my eyes landing on my gun which lay at my feet.

"Now Gabriel, be a good boy...Kill her" she stated, backing away, and I stumbled forward, landing on my hands and knees when Gabriel pushed me away. I turned around, gazing up at him as he slowly made his way forward, towering over me. His eyes never left mine, even as he kicked my gun, causing it to skid to a halt beside me. I could still hear her talking behind him, telling him to get it over with already, and I watched as he stopped at my feet.

"Gabe...I don't wanna hurt you" I told him, slowly reaching for my gun, if nothing else I would shoot him in the shoulder, maybe that would break the spell, even if it would take my last bullet.

"Get on with it!" She shouted.

"Sweetie" I spoke, watching as a blue light took over his eyes for a moment before I noticed his wings stretch out when he stood taller, rolling his shoulders back.

"Gabe?" I whispered, his eyes snapped back to mine, the honey color back to being golden instead of dark. He mouthed a word, and it took me a moment to realize what he was saying.

One

Two

Three! He dove down as I lifted my gun and shot, watching as it hit the witch right between the eyes, she stumbled back, before slowly falling to the ground. I sighed, looking over at Gabriel who had landed on the ground next to me.

"Nice shot," he said with a small smile.

"Please tell me you weren't just playing along that whole time" I told him

"No Sugarplum, I really wasn't in control of myself-I didn't hurt you did I?" He asked, sitting up and looking me over.

"Na I'm fine, I was just wondering, because if you were, I was gonna shoot you in the foot" wide eyes met mine as I gave him an unimpressed look.

"You wouldn't"

"I would"

"...do you have bullets?"

"Be glad I don't" I replied, causing him to sigh and put his head on my shoulder.

"So how many crazy exs am I gonna have to fight?" I asked while looking at the limp body.

"You gonna fight my exs off me?" He asked, peeking up at me before letting out a slight laugh.

"Hopefully no more"

"Hopefully" I nodded just as I noticed the group running towards us. 

"What the hell happened?" Dean asked, looking between us and the body.

"Gabriel was under the spell, I chased them out here, he broke free and I shot her" I shrugged, Gabriel lifting his head from my shoulder.

"So what do we do now?" Claire asked, looking at the body.

"We'll get rid of...this" Sam said motioning towards the body.

"Claire, why don't you and Jody make sure no one heard any gunshots?" Dean said, the girls nodded and turned to leave, but not before Jody turned to me.

"Thank you"

"All in a day's work" I smiled back, taking Gabriel's hand as he helped me up.

"Need help?" I asked the boys, gesturing towards the body.

"We got it," Sam smiled.

"You go enjoy the rest of the fair, we'll meet you back at the motel" Dean thumbed back towards the festivities.

"You sure?" 

"Yeah, go on"

"Ok, I'll see y'all back at the motel" I smiled, taking Gabriel's hand and walking back towards the fair.

"Wait" he stopped before we got into the eyesight of the crowds, I watched as he disappeared and reappeared with the sound of his wings. He smiled as he handed me the wolf plush, holding onto the stuffed heart. I thanked him as I took it before he took my free hand and walked us into the crowd that seemed unknowing of what just happened not too far away.

"So, what else do you want to do?" He asked, looking over at me. I thought for a moment, looking around at everything before my eyes landed on a certain ride.

"The ferris wheel" I stated, watching as a smile graced his lips.

"Your wish is my command" he replied, leading me towards the ride.

"Let's not" I laughed, earning a raised brow from him.

"You shouldn't be under anyone's command, you're your own person, you should do what you want to do" I told him while we waited in line.

"Very well" he nodded

"But I want to take you on to the ferris wheel" he added with a laugh, earning a laugh from me as well. We climbed into our cart and waited for the ride to start, looking over at the night sky while we waited. 

"So...can I ask you something?" He asked after a moment.

"Bout what?" I asked, meeting his gaze.

"The things Cassandra said, in the mirror room, and in the woods-about fickle men"

"...Only if you tell me how come you and her split" I replied while we started to ascend.

"She was right when she said I used to be the type that never stuck around long, we had a thing, for a while, but she got possessive"

"Thought you liked possessive?" I smirked, referring to his reaction in the car earlier when I said I wouldn't share what was mine.

"There are two types, the get off my man only I can touch him like that...can be hot...But she was the controlling type...like remember how you said you would never tell a guy what he could or couldn't do...she was that type"

"Oh, the toxic kind" 

"Yeah, so I bolted"

"I don't blame you for that"

"So what about those things she said," he said after a moment. 

"A while back, about six years ago, three years after I started hunting, I met a guy. I had only slightly dated a few guys in my teens years, but here I was, twenty-one, and this guy came along...and at first seemed great. Remember how I said I wasn't "that kind of girl", that's because I'm waiting til I'm married to have sex...he didn't like that. What started out a good relationship turned into him getting angry when I wouldn't have sex with him...those things Cassandra said...Were things he would call me-Our relationship ended when I found out he cheated on me." 

"Between him, and my dad leaving my mom for a younger girl after twenty five years of marriage...I don't trust many guys" I told him, hugging the wolf tighter as I remembered everything, but that warm feeling I had felt for a second when I almost hit the pole earlier washed over me again, and I found myself turning to look at Gabriel before I even realized it. 

"No offence, but it sounds like you dated boys, not men" he smirked, referencing what I told him in the morgue on our first case. 

"I suppose your right" I laughed

"If it means anything, your ex is a complete idiot, and if you want I can totally make him think he got abducted by aliens" he smirked

"With slow dancing?" I asked, a smirk of my own.

"Hells yeah! Maybe even to My heart will go on" he replied causing us both to laugh.

"Can I ask you one more thing?" I asked.

"Shoot sweetcheeks" 

"When she threw us, I didn't hit the pole as hard as I should have...You were fighting the spell even then weren't you?"

"Yeah, when I saw her in the crowd I realized she was the witch we were looking for so I went to confront her, that's when she kissed me, and that's when the spell took hold, but I was fighting it the whole time"

"Well thank you, for fighting"I told him, leaning against his shoulder.

"Always Sugar" he stated, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as we both enjoyed the rest of the ride.

And there is part 2! I hope everyone enjoyed it! Let me know what you think and stay tuned for chapter 3!

If you would like to be added to the taglist let me know

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[shuahoonie]

you. [tom holland] - three.

PAIRING: tom holland x female!celebrity!reader

SUMMARY: ah, to be young and in love. it sounds great if only you and tom were actually dating out of pure love and not for the sheer reputation of your careers. it also should be great if you two actually got along, but life isn’t that easy.

WARNINGS: mostly swearing! mentions of alcohol! a bit of fluff, a bit of angst. it’s haters to lovers / fake dating au so take that information as you wish!

WORD COUNT: 1632

SONG INSPO: our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldn’t get sued - fall out boy  

A/N: aaah, hello babes! i have been writing a lot since the new year ngl, it is so refreshing to just write and not stress about stuff. although that’ll change as i head back to university tomorrow [technically today lmao] and face a shit ton of papers and readings!!! anyways, happy reading and enjoy part three!

gif credits @peteparkrrs​

vanessa’s masterlist | preview | one | two | four | five | six | seven | eight | eight.5 [interview excerpt] 

“Why, I found a solution to your problems, my dears.” Zoë smiled, almost too sickly.

You were starting to get anxious. Is it your manager or is it because of the coffee? Probably both.

You waited for her to continue and what she said afterwards almost made you spat your drink.

“You and Tom will fake-date for damage control,” Zoë said as if it was the most obvious solution.

“I’m sorry, what?” You asked, practically choking on your drink. Has she gone mad?!

“You,” Your manager pointed at you “and Tom” She then gestured to the devil sitting beside you “will be acting as a fake couple.” 

“God, please tell me this is just a horrible dream.” You practically begged as you closed your eyes, trying to convince yourself that you’re just asleep and this, whatever this is, will be over as soon as you open your eyes. 

“How did you two end up to this conclusion, may I ask?” Tom asked, equally appalled at the resolution that was dropped in front of you two. 

“It’s the only thing that made sense after the theatrics that you two pulled,” Matthew spoke up. “Setting the illusion that you two are secretly dating and got into a small fight last night, which ended up with Y/N pouring her drink on Tom.” 

“That was a small fight? What if we had a big one?” Tom scoffed “Will she kill me then?” 

You smirked at him. “Why, that’s the first thing that I liked from all of the nonsense you just said.” 

Tom rolled his eyes at you. “I still don’t see how dating for publicity solves what happened last night,” Tom spoke up, in which you had to agree. None of it made sense after all. 

“Then how exactly are you two going to explain the scene from last night?” Zoë asked with her arms crossed. 

“I’ll be glad to confirm to the world that Tom Holland is an asshole since he called me a leech,” You said almost nonchalantly. People were starting to paint Tom as the bad guy in the narrative, and all four you were aware of it. 

“No one will be telling anything,” Tom jeered. “No one will be telling anything because it’s none of their business. They shouldn’t care about these things in the first place.” 

“Hate to break it to ‘ya, bud, but see this?” You showed him your phone, the screen showing Twitter’s trending tab and there it showed over a hundred thousand tweets about you two. “People made it already their business.” 

Tom massaged his temples. “What, are you on board with this idea now?” 

“Fuck no,” You hissed. “As much as I hate to say this but Holland’s right, we don’t have to anything about this.” 

“You two don’t have a choice,” Matthew commented. “If you two chose to disregard this, the people wouldn’t let this go. It will always be asked in interviews, they would only speculate more.” 

“God, why did you even go to that specific club.” You grumbled at Tom. “Of all clubs in Los Angeles.” 

“Why are you putting this on me? None of this would’ve happened if it wasn’t for you!” Tom argued. 

“I wouldn’t have done what I did if it wasn’t for your stupid mouth!” You were fuming. 

“Look, it’s a win-win for both of you. Tom will clear up his image by giving an impression of how your little couple’s argument escalated. As for Y/N, she’ll be receiving a lot of publicity for this. It’s good for a rising-star to have this much publicity.” Zoë proclaimed. 

“Jesus, you really are a leech,” Tom mumbled under his breath. However, you still caught it. 

“Call me that one more time and I swear you’ll be going home with not only ruined clothes but also with a bruise on your precious face.” You threatened, narrowing your eyes at him. 

“So it’s settled then?” Matthew asked, “You two are going to do it?” 

Tom just shrugged, probably defeated knowing he won’t stand a chance in this argument. He does have this reputation to uphold and he’s not going to let someone ruin it. 

You, however, felt too brave. You shook your head no and said, “You can’t make me.” 

Zoë raised her eyebrow at you, taking it as a challenge. “Try me.” 

“Remember to hold hands, kids!” Zoë said giddily as she waved goodbye. 

“I am going to kill her,” You gritted in between your teeth as you left the building with the devil quickly fixing his hair. 

“I might actually take you up on that and add my manager into the mix,” Tom grumbled and adjusted his shirt. Tom decided to leave his jacket at the office and figured that a white shirt paired with denim pants was enough. He claims that he looks toned down and his outfit is so casual that people might not notice him. 

You begged to differ. Even if he is just wearing a plain shirt and the most basic denim pants, Tom will still attract people’s attention. The fabric of his shirt clung to his body like second skin. It shows how fit he is and you weren’t one to deny that. 

No matter how little effort Tom puts in regards to dressing himself, he still looked good. That annoyed you. 

“Okay, so the first thing to get this ship sailing-” Zoë stopped and turned to Matthew, “Hah, get it, Matt? I learned it from the internet. Apparently, a ‘ship’ is slang for relationship.” She raved. 

“Oh, that’s sick.” Matthew agreed. 

You let out a huge groan. “God, it’s like watching my parents learn internet lingo all over again.” Not to mention having flashbacks of your early internet days, stumbling over Tumblr with ‘Destiel’ mentioned everywhere. What a time.

Tom, on the other hand, had his face buried in his hand. He seemed like he was equally embarrassed and frustrated with this entire situation. 

“You two are going to have lunch together at this newly opened restaurant. It’s not far from here, don’t worry.” Zoë stated. She mentioned the name of the place, also adding the fact that you and Tom had to walk there. 

“You want us to walk?! This whole area is crawling with paparazzi.” Tom noted. 

“You two will be fine, they can’t hurt you.” Zoë dismissed you two. 

“The restaurant is a couple of blocks away,” You pointed out after searching the place on Google maps. 

“See it as a quick exercise,” Matthew implored. “You two are young, you’ll manage.” 

So here are you both now. You were walking with a complete asshole, who’s apparently now your boyfriend, on the way to this restaurant and waiting to be devoured by paparazzi. 

It was a quiet walk if you two were being honest. You expected more irritating remarks from Tom and you were ready to give out your snarkiest replies, however, you two were now walking in silence. 

It was actually a nice day in Los Angeles. It wasn’t too hot and humid, unlike most days. It wasn’t also that busy in the streets, which is odd, you thought. The day was perfect-too perfect.

Well, it was until you saw a man with a camera hiding behind one of the parked cars along the street. 

Tom seemed to take notice of the figure you just saw and put on a neutral face. “It’s showtime,” Tom said under his breath, loud enough for you two to hear. 

You two were walking alongside each other with close proximity, yes, but you weren’t going to hold hands. As much as to Zoë’s dismay, you thought and restraining yourself from rolling your eyes. 

You could hear the clicks of the camera and with every step, it seemed like the number of clicks multiplied. It only made you feel uneasy, you felt your chest tightening. 

You suddenly wished that you never agreed to this, no matter how much they pressured you. You didn’t mind your state of fame before. A handful of people recognize you from the Sci-Fi Thriller, Alchemist. You were also known for your Twitter and how you absolutely gave no fucks with whatever you tweet. Zoë had a problem with that before, but she just let it go since your account says a lot about your personality. 

However, none of that bothered you. You liked that people recognized you but still managed to get on with your life without getting disrupted. 

Tom glanced at you, noticing how you seemed like you were out of it. He could sense that you were taking deeper breaths than you did before. He frowned, Is she not used to this? Tom wondered. He carefully thought of what to do and just mumbled “Oh, fuck it,” and reached for your hand. 

It caught you off-guard. Oh boy, did you react so rashly. 

“What the hell are you doing, Holland?” You asked as you yanked your hand back. 

“I’m trying to help you,” He grumbled as he took your hand again, holding it firmly this time. “You looked like you were about to have a panic attack. I figured you’d rather have your attention somewhere else.”

“What if people see and-” 

“And what?” Tom cut you off, “They assume that we’re dating? Aren’t we supposed to be, princess?”

You weren’t expecting Tom to wrap his hand around yours nor did you expect him to help you ease your nerves down, so you ended up staring at him. You were trying to figure out what kind of stunt is he trying to pull now. 

He turned his attention to you, his brows knitted slightly. “Why are you staring, princess?” He chuckled softly, amused at the confusion painted on your face. 

What are you trying to do, Holland? You thought. 

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