#also what are you doing on my spotify?!?

[that-bitch-kat3]

BITCH- okay so apparently one of my friends has been stalking my spotify (valid) and they were like… omg are you getting into a relationship or do you have feelings for someone again 👀👀 because i made a new playlist about love/ falling in love.

how do i explain to them it’s about everlark? bro… like i’m not in love. i’m just mentally ill.

[thelilylav]

Y'know what? Fuck it (gives u guys a list of poc artists to listen to cause the white ppl on the music side of tumblr have been embarassing me)

List is under the cut, and warning bc I made it very long

Rock:

Los Abuelos De La Nada

Gesu No Kiwami Otobe

Chuck Berry

Ben E. King

Los Prisoneros

Ahmed Fakroun (ok this one's french art rock but in my book it still counts)

Burnout Syndromes (been fucking w them since I got into Haikyuu lmao)

Infinity Song (their hater song genuinely gets me every time LMAO)

People in the Box

N.E.R.D (my god if u don't know them.. idk dude my brother has been obsessed w them for forever so i just was not getting away regardless lol)

Punk/Punk Rock (& other punk subgenres):

Nova Twins (u must listen to them it's just the way it's gotta be guys)

Rina Sawayama (her hatred of Matty Healy is so attractive. i cannot believe i found her two years ago cause i still remember i would not shut up when i first heard her music it was so good)

BABYMETAL (the way their band name just straight up screams at people gets me every time lmaooo)

Indie:

The Younger Lovers

Mashrou Leila

Stella Jang

Shak SYrn (Jenni is on repeat in my room at any given moment)

Steve Lacy (if u listen to more than just Bad Habit u will find an actuall amazing discography)

Jenny Nuo (i have been OBSESSED w her music since like 2021 ish and it is a crime she hasn't blown up more imo)

Nujabes

Hemlocke Springs (oooo i hate that she does not get more love!!! synth pop and alt indie is such a fun niche like!!!)

Lyn Lapid (in my head she's huge but i have recently learned that artists i think r super popular may be unknown to an entire genre of ppl soo)

Megagonefree (found them on ig and omg!! PLS go check them out genuinely)

boa (i am once again shaming u if u don't know them)

Wallice

JAZZ (in all caps bc I fucking LOVE jazz no it's not dead go listen to jazz rn motherfuckers):

Idris Muhammad

Esperanza Spalding

Joanna Wang (ok she does pop and folk music too but idk she felt most appropriate here)

SAMARA JOY (put. some. respect. on. her. name. i would actually go to war for her i am not kidding. also this is in all caps bc MY MOM GOT TO SEE HER LIVE??? AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHO SHE WAS PLS I WAS SO MAD OMGGG but i've been promised tickets next time so we're good)

Sade (my og one and only)

Funk:

Fadoul

George Clinton (i mean he's just a classic yknow)

Parliament (Give Up the Funk can make me dance like no other i swear)

Stevie Wonder (i mean.. like if we're on the topic of classics anyway then...)

Michael Jackson/The Jackson 5 (moreso his earlier stuff if my memory isn't lying to me.. look it's been a second since i listened to mj IM SORRY i am a busy person ok TT)

R&B:

Valerie June

Maxine Nightingale (if u don't listen to her... how do u have fun? actual question i put her on every time i need to feel happy atp)

Boney. M (technically they're reggae but they also count as R&B so idk.. i'm just putting them here if anyone wants me to move them later i will)

Amahla (Ca Suffit was so good and got me to check out the rest of her music, YOU SHOULD TOO!!)

Mary J Blige (not to judge but like... if u don't know THE queen then idk how to help you tbh)

SZA (wouldn't be a list without her in it tbh. i'm in love w her not even joking abt that)

Kali Uchis (to this day i cannot believe i saw her live i'm truly never getting a better moment than that omggg i have such a big crush on her anyway)

Aupinard (if ever u need to just vibe, this is the man u go to.)

Wejdene (TU PARLES AVEC UNE ANISSA MA MOI J'APPELLE WEJDENE- she's been my day 1 since i was like thirteen i can't even lie)

Annisse (just found out she only has like ~500 listeners on spotify??? apparently i'm one of them tho lmao so yeah go get that number up guys i love her too much for this disrespect)

Sister Sledge

Cheryl Lynn

Reggae:

Daddy Yankee (he's an honourable mention cause i couldn't not lmao)

Skindred (they're a reggae/metal fusion band and i will shut up abt them when i'm dead bc Nobody rewired my brain chemistry!!)

Manu Chao

Toquinho (i was so convinced this man was bossa nova but apparently he is reggae and i need to do some music theory review)

Folk:

Sushi Soucy (oh the things I Deserve to Bleed had me going thru in 2020/2021)

Miriam Makeba (Pata Pata should be enough to get anyone listening to her, just saying)

Lead Belly (do urself a favour and do some research on this man, i'm not kidding even if u don't like folk music u should know abt him- ESPECIALLY if u like Nirvana that'll make sense later trust)

Pop:

Corinne Bailey Rae (she has so much good music that gets ignored bc of Put Your Records On so.. yeah go listen to Black Rainbows she's only gotten better as time goes on lol)

Dru (he is for any person who likes ke$ha. i'm so serious he is early 2000s in a bottle and i love his music ur rlly missing out if u ignore him)

Monique Hasbun (found her recently! she's a Palestinian, Mexican and Salvadorian artist who plays around with Latin pop and does a lot of fusion music. she's dope go listen to her fr)

Mohammad Assaf (he made the Palestine song that's been going around ig a lot, but his other stuff is great as well. he's another Palestinian artist, so once again, go check him out!!)

Pinkpanthress (i LOVE her she's so much fun to just vibe to and idk how anyone couldn't have heard of her atp but then again this is the sight that didn't know who drake was so... sigh. go listen to her if u don't already!!)

Aliyah's Interlude (BROOO if u haven't heard of her actually go listen rn i'm so serious she is so good i can'ttttt ok bye)

Veondre (had a collab w Aliyah on It Girl and is gonna be releasing her own music very soon! she's trans too so go give her some love)

Shalco (wasn't sure whether to put him here or in hip hop, but his stuff is very very good either way)

Ado (she's j-pop but it's a form of pop so into the pop category she goes)

Moon (she's got two songs out rn, Moonlight and Seoul City Drift, and both r going on loop in my head at all times)

Jay Chou (call me a basic bitch idc he's good ok)

Atarashii Gakko! (i wouldn't say they're j-pop, but google did, so i'm just going w it lol)

flowerovlove (just trust me on this one)

El Tio Gamboin (Los Gatitos is such a cute song)

Grace Chang (see note for Jay Chou)

King Gnu (for all my j-pop lovers... come get ur man)

Salsa:

Lalo Rodriguez (included this genre specifically so i could mention him)

Adalberto Santiago

Roberto Roena (he's a classic i can't lie)

Hector Lavoe (i think he might be the most popular one in this genre lol)

City Pop (this is its own genre bc i literally did a presentation in high school abt it and i'll be damned if i don't flex my knowledge now):

Mariya Takeuchi

Miki Matsubara (my QUEEN my everything my-)

Anri

Taeko Onuki (one of my most listened to artists last yr for a Reason)

Kaoru Akimoto

Kingo Hamada

Jun Togawa

Bossa Nova:

Joao Gilberto (ooo he gets me every time i fucking love this man)

Elizeth Cardoso

Johnny Alf (forgot this man the first time around my bad BUT he's called the father of bossa nova for a reason so)

Hip Hop:

Flyana Boss (they're sooooo good i actually can't gush enough i have never felt so girlypop listening to music before go listen to them!! found the duo through ig so yeah if u want go follow them on there too to show support)

Lil Uzi Vert (for any emo lovers, go check out his song Werewolf with Bring Me the Horizon it is SO GOOD)

Samyra (she's slowly curing my body dysmorphia lol)

Yame (there's an accent on the e but idk how to do that on tumblr. anyway my ass loves french rap and before him i was stuck with klub des loosers so he saved my faith in the genre i can't even lie)

Lay Bankz (u cannot be chronically online and not have heard Ick yet, but i'm repping her regardless bc SHE'S SO GOOD)

A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie (HEAR ME OUT-)

Kaliii (Area Codes was one of my most listened to songs last year... as it should be tbh)

Miguel (he does R&B too i just first listened to him bc of his collab w J.Cole sooo)

Tyler the Creator (putting him on here just to brag abt getting to see him in concert lmao)

XXXTentacion (he has been mourned and talked abt an insane amount, but he deserves it i'm not even gonna joke on this one. his artistry is insane and he deserves some love if u haven't listened to him yet)

Kendrick Lamar (i mean i've been reblogging stuff abt him enough. Mr. Morale was actually the album that made me start Listening listening to him and i'm honestly glad it was bc that album is still my favourite to this day if i'm being totally honest)

Renaissauce (criminally and i do mean CRIMINALLY underrated)

[tiny-planet-13]

AND IF I SAID THIS WAS LITERALLY JEREJEAN (I'm actually losing my mind on this one like oh my god)

[dont-open-dead-inside-25]

*voice of boy who just experienced romantic/sexual attraction for the first time* did you guys see that. that was insane. wdym you live like this

[moonchild-in-blue]

Thank you for the tag @dearscone!! This was due a million years ago and got lost on my drafts oof.

Share the first 10 songs of your On Repeat playlist

(i don't use Spotify so i'm taking these from my Replay Mix on YT)

(apologies for the lack of variety. you see i have a serious case of Brain Rot)

10 songs so let me tag 10 people lmao (no pressure though): @corviisquire (is this the right blog? should i tag the other one?? hm) @hookedhobbies @lifemod17 @polteergeistt @elkkiel @sleep-token @sleeby-vessel @eepymonstrr @murderofcrow @whataboutyouisamascot

[quarterprioritymidnight]

happy 3rd birthday to the hottest thing bastille has ever done anyone but me x nightmares (24.08.2020)

[daisyswift3]

Sorry for disappearing again. I’m popping back on here to give a little update on my life for anyone who cares. August was a really really reallyyy awful month for me. First I was spiraling abt my ex situationship and then the first wk of the semester I started dealing w a lot of harassment from classmates and I realized it was my own “friends” that started it and spread a bunch of awful untrue rumors abt me as well as my private text conversations w them 😃 And the stress from all of that literally caused me to have a psychotic episode and spiral even more so that was fun. I actually came close to ending my life bc it was so bad. I think that was the first time I’ve ever had a full blown psychotic episode and it was absolute hell, like I’ve never been so fucking terrified in my life. I didn’t even know it was possible to have thoughts as dark as the ones I was having. This caused me to fall really behind in my classes so now I’m having to catch up while also being very scatterbrained. And this WAS going to be my last semester but now I’m gonna have to graduate later bc of all of this 🥰 It literally feels like they sabotaged me right before the finish line like I’ve never been so pissed off in my life. But one good thing that came out of it is I’ve now figured out I probably have schizotypal personality disorder or sth similar which would explain why I have such a hard time making friends and maintaining relationships. I think I come off a lot colder than I mean to and so I give ppl mixed signals on accident. It’s kind of awful knowing I’M actually the one that’s caused some of my relationships to implode without meaning to. Like I try soooo hard to be as nice as possible and to listen and be patient w ppl but it’s still somehow never enough bc I’m kinda stoic and am not good at expressing my love for ppl. Like I feel so many things internally but it’s hard for me to show them externally. And I also figured out that I experience apophenia (which can be related to psychosis and schizophrenia) and so I sometimes read way too much into things and see signs and patterns that aren’t there. On one hand it’s great bc it allows me to learn difficult concepts really fast and spot patterns and connections other ppl might not see, but on the other hand it can also cause me to experience psychosis. I’m trying to be more careful now w how delusional I let myself be but I’m not gonna stop analyzing music and I’ll let myself be delulu sometimes as a treat bc life is more fun that way :)) I’ve made several playlists that kind of serve as journal entries since I don’t really journal and that’s the closest thing I have to journaling. These songs are like the soundtrack of my life at the moment

[occasionallysiren]

OC PLAYLISTS BE UPON YE!!! (sorry theres A Lot)

if anythings broken yell at me and ill fix it o7 /genlh

[javelinbk]

The Life of Riley

Modern AU based on @pie-of-flames's @beatleskinkmeme prompt

John is a terrible driver, but a broke one, so he lets his aunt get him a job as a chauffeur. His first passenger is Paul, the wealthy son of a successful businessman, whose father wants him to follow in his footsteps. It soon becomes clear that neither men are happy with their current situation in life.

Chapter 1 - Haven’t had a dream in a long time

Chapter 2 - The luck I’ve had could make a good man turn bad

Chapter 3 - I find I spend my time waiting on your call

Chapter 4 - Who’s gonna pay attention to your dreams?

Chapter 5 - You take my pride and throw it up against the wall

Chapter 6 - Why pamper life’s complexity when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?

Chapter 7 - Who needs a lover that can’t be a friend?

Chapter 8 - Is that the way we stand?

Chapter 9 - Turned over a new leaf and then tore right through it

Chapter 10 - Is my timing that flawed?

Chapter 11 - But to lose you would cut like a knife

Chapter 12 - Heaven knows I'm miserable now

Chapter 13 - Come on baby, we better make a start

[aeolianblues]

HEY UH WE ALREADY HAVE THIS AND IT IS CALLED YOUR MUTUALS’ ASK INBOXES

[synthshenanigans]

Finally has been a full year since I started listening

Fuckin hate that guy eugh

[set-phasers-to-whump]

i know that there will be better days

prompt: nightmares

whumpee: river cartwright

fandom: slough house

hiiii this one's set post-standing by the wall and as such has spoilers for slough house. i am very sorry to my lovely friends who have only seen the show or have not made it through all the books however this prompt simply spoke to me and i knew what i had to do. if you do read this i hope you enjoy!!!

Catherine would be lying if she said she wasn’t a bit concerned about River. 

Granted, she knows, as he’d been so keen to tell her, that he’d passed the medical. She’s heard him insist, time and time again, that he’s fine. 

But she’s also seen him falter upon standing, brace his hands against his desk, sink back into his chair. She’s seen him turn up with dark circles beneath his eyes so pronounced they’d looked as if they’d been painted on. She’s seen him hastily exit his room, slam the toilet door behind him, heard the sound of gagging. 

She hasn’t brought any of this up to River himself, of course. In the first place, she doesn’t think he would appreciate it. In the second place, she knows he’d just brush it all off with one of those catchall I’m fine’s that Catherine knows don’t fool anyone, except perhaps Roddy.

So she’s hardly planning on saying anything when she catches River sleeping at his desk. God knows he’s looked especially rough the last few days. She’s half considering locating a blanket—not that she especially trusts any soft item found in Slough House—when a soft noise from the sleeping form slouched onto the desk halts her in her tracks. 

He sounds distressed, afraid. Painful memories twist in Catherine’s chest. Part of her wants to leave, to let River have some of that sense of dignity he so desperately clings to, to not get involved. Part of her insists she stay. 

It’s this latter part of her that wins out, owing not so much to any mental calculations on her part as to another quiet and pained noise from River. 

She can hardly just let him suffer. 

Catherine approaches him cautiously, like one might approach a feral cat. She doesn’t know whether he’ll take kindly to being woken, whether she might receive a startled lashing-out. 

She steadies herself, then reaches out a hand and lightly taps River on the shoulder. 

He shoots upright, and Catherine instinctively steps back, startled. River looks around, his eyes wide. He’s panting and his whole body is shaking and, contrary to lashing out angrily, he actually looks as if he is about to cry. 

“It’s alright, River,” Catherine says, stepping in close to him again. “It was only a nightmare.”

He looks up at her for a second, then back down. The breaths he’s taking sound painful, too quick and too sharp. She wants to help. 

“I—” he starts, but that’s all he’s able to get out. He looks so afraid, so young, and Catherine thinks of herself, of the hellish visions of Charles that had tormented her for years, and she makes up her mind. 

She bends over a bit—it’s not the best angle, to be sure, and her back protests, but no matter—and carefully, hesitantly, wraps her arms around him, the way she’d wanted to before, but hadn’t quite had the guts to go through with. 

He stiffens up for a second, and Catherine worries that she’s made a terrible mistake. 

But then he softens again, and she can feel the way he’s still trembling, the way his breathing is still erratic and harsh. The residual fear and grief are palpable in the air. 

She doesn’t realize that he’s crying, at first, with how much he’s shaking. But after a few seconds, she notices that the shoulder of her dress is damp, and if she really focuses, she can hear River sniffling very quietly. He’s good, evidently, at being silent. 

Catherine has never seen him cry before. Of course, she’s never seen him have a nightmare before, either, so there’s multiple new experiences happening for her today. But she knows him. The way he always insists that he’s fine, even when he’s not. The way he’d rather ignore his own suffering than confront it head-on. 

He’s been through hell, recently. Not that any of the slow horses have had a particularly easy go of it, but Novichok—it’s the stuff of horror stories, not the fate of disgraced MI5 agents. 

All this to say, she puts a lot of value onto this moment, right here. River crying into her shoulder in his office in the middle of a Thursday afternoon. She’s aware of the kind of suffering it’s taken to get him to this breaking point. She hates it, but she’ll be damned if she won’t do what she can to help. 

And so she holds on. Her legs start to cramp, a bit, but she pays them no mind. It’s River. 

He lets go after quite some time. Catherine stands back up, does not wince at the twinging in her legs and back, and smooths out her dress. 

“Sorry,” River says. His voice is scratchy, but he’s no longer shaking and his breathing has mostly returned to normal. There are tear tracks running down his cheeks and his eyes are rimmed with red. “Sorry, I didn’t—I’ll just—”

“River,” Catherine interrupts, and he stops, looks up at her, rubs a hand beneath his eyes. 

“It’s alright,” she continues. “You’re allowed to not be fine, you know.”

He kind of looks like he’s about to start crying again. Catherine isn’t sure whether either of them are really equipped for this. “I am fine, I’m—I have to be fine.”

Catherine shakes her head. “You were dosed with an incredibly toxic nerve agent, not to mention everything else you’ve gone through these past few years. I’d be surprised if you were somehow truly fine.”

River gives her a little sort of half-smile that is almost more painful for her than the crying. “Okay,” he says, and he sounds like he’s admitting to something terrible. “Okay, yeah, I’m—maybe I’m not…entirely fine.”

He slumps deeper into his chair, scrubs at his eyes again. Catherine recalls her very first AA meeting—“I’m Catherine and I’m an alcoholic”—how afraid she’d been to admit to anyone else that she had a problem, that she wasn’t able to handle it on her own. River’s situation is, of course, drastically different, but there’s an element there that Catherine recognizes all the same. 

She wishes that there was something she could say to make this easier. But she knows that the only way to heal is time, that the only way out, as cliché as it may sound, is through. 

“I know you’re not,” is what she settles on saying, at last. “But you will be.”

River looks up at her again and there’s a faint glimmer of his usual self poking through everything else. It makes her feel vaguely hopeful, and she puts a hand onto his shoulder, glad of the contact now she’s broken the seal. 

“I think I’ll make some tea,” she says, a thinly veiled offer, an opened door. 

“Yeah, alright,” River replies, and it feels like a small, but important, step has been taken.

thanks so much for reading! i am planning to do a deeper dive into river post-novichok at some point but who knows when that will be. in any case i enjoyed doing a little exploration of that here, hope you liked!

[hella1975]

sat watching horror films drinking coffee from my ghost mug. this heatwave has nothing against my sheer commitment to a bit

[theinfinitedivides]

the real star of Jhoome Jo Pathaan is the silver earcuff and dangle earring that they have given SRK along with his various necklaces, rings, arm taweez and glorious hair, taking no further statements at this time

[astranauticus]

(spoilers up to orv chapter 270) (sort of?)

you ever just kinda. suddenly realise what you're listening to

[nevert-the-guy]

Damn this Nintendo Music app is awesome