#also i think the title might be from like. something? but i do not have any idea what and nothing that came up on spotify seemed right

[ladyeyrewrites]

WIP Wednesday

tagged by @unhingedangstaddict

This is a snippet from my BuckTommy mpreg fic featuring trans Tommy. It doesn't have a title yet and I don't know when I'll finish it.

It seemed Tommy wanted to look anywhere but directly at Buck, which was just another thing Buck had lost. Buck blinked against threatening tears as Tommy glanced around Buck’s loft, eyes taking in the subtle changes that had taken place since they’d broken up, until his gaze settled on the mess that was Buck’s kitchen island. “You’ve been baking.”

Sure, Buck had baked with Chris before to help out with a school bake sale since Eddie was so culinarily clueless but he hadn’t really done it in his own time until he’d found out about Tommy’s sweet tooth. He’d been practicing to make something for Tommy’s birthday but then Tommy had to go and dump him. Bitterness spiked through him. “Yeah. Anytime I get the urge to call you, I just I channel the impulse into something positive, like baked Alaska.”

Tommy’s face twisted with regret, eyes growing glassy. Buck wasn’t sure if that had been his intention or not, but maybe it would be good for Tommy to really see how much Buck had been thinking about him. So, Buck walked over to the fridge and pulled out three loaves, making sure the fridge door was opened wide enough for Tommy to see the extent of Buck’s foray into baking and how often he’d been thinking about reaching out. “Here, you should take some.” He plopped three loaves into Tommy’s unprotesting arms. “Here’s a lemon loaf, and a walnut loaf, and a pumpkin loaf.”

“That’s a lotta loaf,” Tommy managed to say. “Buck, I—”

“Hang on, let me go grab those shirts,” said Buck because hearing Tommy call him by his nickname rather than his name made him want to scream and he didn’t want to do that, not when Tommy looked like anything could cue the waterworks at any moment. So, Buck might have fled his kitchen, jogging upstairs to grab the reusable tote bag of Tommy’s tee shirts and flannels he’d accumulated over their six months together. That bag had been haunting him every night as he lay in bed – alone – trying to fall asleep, wondering if Tommy was also alone or if he’d already managed to find a rebound.

Buck hefted the bag and his heart panged. Once he gave this stuff back, Tommy would well and truly be gone from his life. There’d be no excuse for Buck to reach out. No trace that Tommy had ever been in his life save for the indelible mark he’d left on Buck’s heart. So, Buck did something maybe a little impulsive and indulgent; he snagged one of Tommy’s flannels out of the bag and shoved it under his pillow. He was absolutely not going to bury his face in it and cry himself to sleep later.

As he was engaging in some of the most pathetic breakup behaviour ever, his kitchen timer went off downstairs.

“Buck, do you need me to do something?” Tommy shout up the stairs, voice carrying over the shrill timer beep.

“Yeah, could you just grab the baked brie out of the oven?” he asked. He snagged his favourite Tommy t-shirt out of the bag and stashed it with the stolen flannel too. If Tommy was allowed to unceremoniously dump Buck then Buck was allowed to steal his clothes and not return them.

Buck gave a satisfied nod and started down the stairs to join Tommy. He was halfway down when he heard Tommy gag. Buck looked up from his feet in time to see Tommy turn literally green before unceremoniously dumping Buck’s baked brie on the counter, bee-lining for the sink and vomiting down the drain.

Buck raced down the stairs, rushing to Tommy’s side and rubbing smoothing circles on his back before he even realised what he was doing. “Are you okay?”

“Are you sure that cheese is okay?” Tommy asked catching his breath. “It reeks.”

Buck frowned as he got down a glass and filled it with tap water for Tommy to rinse out his mouth. “Uh yeah,” he said. “And brie’s not a stinky cheese.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Tommy sagged, leaning against Buck’s counter. “But my sense of smell’s been really weird the last few weeks.”

A sinking feeling filled Buck’s stomach. This all sounded very familiar. They’d always been so good about using protection and between birth control and testosterone Tommy hadn’t had a period in well over a decade. But there’d been that little lapse before Tommy had found his new doctor and oh, god they’d definitely had unprotected sex that one time when they were both a little tipsy after getting back from babysitting Eddie. “You’re pregnant,” Buck blurted before his brain could send his tongue anything more tactful to say.

[h-170]

Cockwarming g!p kkura while she's playing a game >.< !!

the most asked fic but can never get enough of!!!1!1! 😫😭🙏

also i apologize for the cringe title but ahem i didnt have any fucking ideas... also i think it looks a bit rushed?? idk 😭

✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆

“Me or the PS5?”

g!p (sub? dom? who am i) Sakura Miyawaki x female reader

Smut (+ crumb of angst?)

Cockwarming

Making out

Marking (hickeys...)

Dirty talk

Cock riding

Mentions of pregnancy (?)

Pet names:3

why does the parrot emoji appear when i type dirty talk... oh wait its just for talk oops 🦜

✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆

"Seriously, you're starting to piss me off, Kkura."

"Look, I'm sorry, I kn-"

"I don't wanna hear it!"

Well, you were fuming. Sakura's schedule was full as always and she comes home when you're asleep; you practically never see her. Until tonight, you were somehow able to stay awake – or it's just that she came home slightly earlier – and you had to confront her about this.

"I'm tired, you know? I feel like I'm alone in this house."

"I understand, Y/N. But I can't-"

"This isn't only for me, Kkura, you're tiring yourself too! Is there really no way you can-"

"No! Okay? I can't! It's how my schedule is, being an idol isn't easy!"

Her sudden outburst made you feel guilty. It's true, you were kind of selfish and wanted her all to yourself- but wait, were you selfish? You weren't seeing her at all! However, you were also looking after her, so...

You both sigh, Sakura rubbing her temples. She was tired, like you, and you had to do something about it.

"Can we... Just go to sleep? I'm tired."

You unclench your fists and nod quietly, both of you heading upstairs.

Days pass and you never really spoke about the situation anymore since Sakura's outburst was the thing that shut you up. But then one afternoon, you come back from the grocery store and enter the house to sound...? Faint music?

You slowly make your way upstairs and-

"Wha..."

Sakura, right there, on your bed, playing a game with a PS5 controller in her hands.

"Kkura?"

"Oh, hey, baby."

"Why are you home so early?"

Sakura explains that she took what you said about tiring herself out into consideration and decided to ask for a day or two off, which actually made you quite surprised.

"...so... You took days off to game?"

Sakura laughs.

"You weren't home, so, heh- I was just enjoying myself."

"Since you're here, can we cuddle, please? I missed you so much."

Sakura smiles guiltily.

"Can I... Finish this round first...?

You climb on the bed and smack her shoulder.

"Are you serious?! Sakura! Come on!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Just... Please, I'm so close."

"Close to what?!"

"Finishing!"

You look at the screen, and she's at the second phase of some boss fight. You look back at your focused girlfriend, pouting.

"So it's the PS5 you're choosing over me?"

"Love, don't be like that... I'll do whatever you want after this, promise."

You smirk.

"You know, cuddles can wait, but... I kinda wanna punish you."

"Uh... Huh?"

"How 'bout you finish that game while I make you finish inside me?"

As the boss does some long animation for a super attack, Sakura looks at you, her cheeks flushed as you pull down her pants and boxers in one go.

"You're not gonna give me head while playing, right? You're not that evil..."

She gulps, preparing herself as the animation is almost over, no longer looking at you.

"Nah, I'm planning on doing something much worse."

That made Sakura's mind 'unfocus' and she barely dodges the attack, making her heart skip a beat at the fear of almost losing to that. While she was panicking, you were already undressed, sitting on her cock and taking it all at once.

"Fuck- Y/N! You-"

"Shhh, don't focus on me now, or you might lose~"

Sakura groans, tilting her head to the side as she wraps her arms around you, controller on your back as you hug her. Your hands slide inside her oversized shirt, roaming on her creamy back, making her shiver because they were cold.

Your lips find their way on her neck, kissing the warm skin. Sakura's mouth being next to your ear made you hear every single breath and whimper and gasp and moan, literally any sound she made.

"Y/N- Since when did you become so tight?"

"That's because you aren't fucking me so often."

As the third phase begins, you hear Sakura moan as you suck a hickey on her neck then she giggles.

"So you're saying you want me to fuck you more?"

You clench around her cock at her words, smirking as you lick the mark you just gave her. You definitely missed feeling her cock hitting you deep inside your pussy, and the memories coming back to you made you feel all hot and sweaty.

"Maybe~"

You plant a kiss on her cheek, teasingly clenching around her dick. She was so focused on her game, it made you wonder how she didn't just throw her controller and started fucking you yet. She must really like her game...

Your hands snake up to her chest, and since she wasn't wearing a bra, it just made the whole thing much easier for you. You squeeze her breasts, rolling her nipples between your fingers. You just do that for a few moments, hearing Sakura moan and squirm underneath you. And then, a cutscene comes up.

"Your lips look so dry, baby."

"So?"

"How about I take care of them for you, mm?"

And with that, you pull her in a deep kiss, to which she surprisingly doesn't hesitate. Controller in one hand, she runs her second one down to your ass, squeezing one of your cheeks as she lifts you up maybe like one millimeter, then back down, as if telling you to fuck yourself on her dick. But you don't, kissing her even harder now.

"That desperate?"

"Fuck you."

It was now her turn to squeeze your breasts, taking one in hand but having difficulties to squeeze it correctly because of your bra. Unfortunately, she couldn't remove it as she couldn't risk both her hands being busy.

It was kinda funny if you think about it; both of you are just making out while you grind on her cock with random people talking in the background because of Sakura's game.

Sakura now runs her hand on your back, pulling you closer to her body as she feels you clench and clench around her nonstop. You could feel her smirk against your lips, and you couldn't help but smirk back.

It was true she might lose this game because of you, but... She would enjoy the way you're making her lose.

"You're always unsatisfied, Y/N."

"Can you blame me?"

She scoffs and thrusts upwards, making you gasp and tighten your grip around her. The cutscene was finally over so the game gained her focus again, leaving you breathless and dangerously close to cumming. You could tell she was also close by how big her cock became.

"K-Kku...~"

"Ngh- Just a second..."

"Please... Please, let me...~"

Your needy and hot voice in her ear made her gush out more precum inside you that you can assume she already came, but she didn't. All you could hear were your joint heartbeats, heavy breathing, soft moans and game sound effects.

"Sakura-"

"Y/N, just a minute."

"Please, so close~"

"Fuck, Y/N..."

"Cum inside me..."

Sakura's sick throbbed at that, and you moan at the feeling.

"Please... Please, just lose, I'll help you beat that level, you know I'm good at it..."

Well, it wasn't a lie, but Sakura stays stubborn. You jolt your hips forward, making Sakura moan.

"Damnit! Y/N, I-"

"Please, I'm a good girl...~"

You kept begging, but she wasn't listening. Just ignoring you seemed like a good plan to her, but little did you know it was so hard to ignore you.

You gave up, honestly. You knew how Sakura was with her games.

"You're really making me wait..."

"I'm gonna beat it."

"I told you I'd help you, I just wanna cum..."

"I know you don't like the game, that's why I'm beating it now."

You pause to process her words, blushing slightly. Did Sakura really just make you wait for that? Well, it was sweet, you had to say that.

And then, what seemed like an eternity, she beat the game, a golden 'Victory' appearing on the screen. Quickly, she goes back to the main menu and tosses the controller on the other side of the bed, holding your hips and slamming you down on her cock.

"Aaah~! Fuck! You could've warned me!"

"Sorry, princess, but I'm getting damn impatient here~"

Your whole body was bouncing; head, breasts, ass... The perfect view for Sakura. She loved seeing you go wild on her cock.

"So, you wanna cum, huh? Cum for me, baby."

"C-Cum inside me, please, please..."

"Aww, missed my cum? Don't worry, pretty, I'm gonna fill you up good."

Continuing her assault on your pussy, she forces your upper body down to give you a hickey as she starts grinding you back and forth on her length.

"There, we're equal now~"

You'd smile, embarrassed, meeting her lips in another heated kiss. Hands everywhere, she smacks your ass twice, full palms on cheeks, causing loud slapping sounds to echo in the room. Gosh, you loved that.

Your tongues were wrapped around one another, your lips red and sore as you continue your make out session.

"I... I c-can't take anymore~"

"Mm? Okay~"

She breaks the kiss and starts fucking you again – well, forcing you to ride her cock, actually – feeling your cunt tighten and soak her dick.

"I'm gonna fill you up real good."

She looks deep into your eyes.

"Gonna let you have my kids, how 'bout that?"

"Fuck, Kkura, give them to me!"

With one last thrust, she makes you sit on her lap, balls deep inside you as she explodes, releasing all her cum in your cunt. You cum around her, soaking her lap and dick, both of you moaning so loud, your voice cracking like crazy.

You collapse on top of her as she lays down on her back, her cock slipping out of you because you were so damn wet. She chuckles.

"Like the background music? It's really romantic, mm?"

The 'action' hype music along with her sarcasm makes you chuckle in turn.

"Definitely."

✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆☾ ✩₊˚.⋆

me and the PS5 least you know where I'ma be at night 🗣️

[cookedupinthelabm8]

I wanted to add to this that, although I do think that Mother Miranda adding these three black roses to the design of her overall presentation could potentially have something to do with the Dimitrescu sisters, I also want to point out a few details I personally find very important—so much so that they shouldn't be dismissed from the picture. Mother Miranda takes her title as Mother in the same way religions such as Catholicism take the title Father as a spiritual guide. Like them, she curates her physical appearance to maintain a very carefully crafted image that embodies what she represents to the eyes of the villagers she protects and rules over. Taking the title away, Miranda is a grieving mother. Miranda is a woman that never got closure for the death of her Eva. She's broken under that mask of perfection and every carefully chosen detail she allows her body to shift into. She doesn't even make herself look like she did before Eva passed—going as far as to have attempted suicide before the Megamycete found her and gave her its "gift" (Cadou, which literally means gift) and prevented her from achieving death. With this in mind, let us return to the flowers. Black roses are a potent symbol in art, literature, and culture, carrying multiple meanings depending on context. Their allure lies in their enigmatic nature, often associated with deep emotional, mystical, or philosophical ideas. Black roses often symbolize the end of a significant chapter, usually marked by the finality of death and the mourning of those who have lost what they love most. Black roses can also embody a sense of tragedy, a tragic form of love and a non-traditional, unconventional kind of beauty. Yet, they can also embody a mystery, secrecy, insidiousness and allude to a metaphor that the person wearing them isn't as they seem, signaling the individual to be hard to understand or predict. The very aspect of black roses symbolize the unattainable as well, that which you may desire but perhaps can never have. Black roses can also mean a kind of defiance against oppression—and though this initially may clash with the idea of Mother Miranda, remember that she didn't start her cult by killing the people of the village, but by protecting them from the indifference of the outside world and the lethality of the Spanish flu. Black roses can symbolize a rejection of societal norms, as well. They carry the symbolic nature of embracing one's individuality, especially if this individuality is your own darkness and potential for malice—often related to the occult and supernatural practices, that which you fear and don't yet know. They may also symbolize a sense of hopelessness, of acknowledging the futility of your cause, the inevitable doom of what you wished to accomplish—in this case, it could be how she feels with her attempts to bring back her daughter, especially if we remember her very last words when Ethan shoots her down being her dead daughter's name (and how bad she started tweaking the moment she realized the girl she was holding was Rosemary and not Eva.) Black roses can also signify a striking and timeless grace. Their stark beauty can point to refinement, elegance and an appreciation for that which is rare or extraordinary. (Might explain why Alcina wears one, as well.) Finally, the dark blooms can also work to tell you a subconscious law of what Miranda's philosophy on life and death is, or a close approximate: beauty and decay. And, despite the lost cause motif they can hold, they may also show a certain type of stubbornness, an undying hope that, perhaps if she keeps trying, she may one day see her daughter again. In conclusion, although I do think it'd be very sweet if they were meant to symbolize her hand in making the Dimitrescu daughters, the symbolism behind the black roses is versatile and evocative. It's meant to embody the beauty of contradictions and the complexity of human emotions (among other things.)

Do yall know those flowers on Mother Miranda’s collar? These?

I used to believe these to be a decoration she added to finish her whole outfit, but now that am thinking further I believe the roses to represent something else.

Ok, obviously we all know the Dimitrescu daughters and the fact that Alcina has black flowers on her dress to represent her daughters. These flowers.

And now that I’m thinking about it I do believe these flowers to represent Miranda’s making or ownership of the daughters? I wouldn’t say ownership but that’s the best word I can think of right now.

Basically what I’m saying is that Miranda represents the four lords from the crests on her outfit, and she also represents creating the daughters by the three roses on her neck. It honestly makes sense since Miranda doesn’t have any other reason to have a three-black rose necklace like Alcina besides trying to represent the three daughters through these flowers.

This probably isnt new news to anyone but I thought it would be nice to bring up. Now am trying to figure out which one copied the other with the flower theme for the daughters. Lady Dimitrescu or Mother Miranda? Funny either way honestly.

[lolashifts]

SHIFTING ISN'T SPECIAL

please bare with me on this one bc it might be a bit longer than i expected (and excuse my very bad title-naming skills 😭)

in this essay i will try to put down in words exactly what i realised today as i started my first day into reprogramming my mind, something that i’m doing while following reya singh’s method. what is that?

shifting IS easy.

yes, i know everybody says it, but it’s the truth and i’m not telling you this as someone who shifts regularly to her drs, because i don’t (yet!). however, it did just click in my mind why people always say it and mean it. and i feel incredibly stupid for not understanding it waaay earlier than just now, 4 years into my journey.

now, let me walk you through the thought process behind this.

in reya’s 4-day method for reprogramming your mind, she instructs to write a list of your beliefs and non-beliefs. this may sound really silly and kinda useless at first - believe me, i woke up this morning thinking “what exactly am i supposed to do after that?” - but there’s a valid reason for it, which is to help you delete from your mind the idea that shifting is like a superpower that’s simply not for everyone and very hard to reach, when that is not the case at all!

in my own beliefs list, i’ve written “i am capable of shifting” right in between “i can speak english”, “i can write and read” and “i can eat --” (and some other things like “i can’t eat gluten”, bc i have celiac disease, “i can dream”, we all do! and “i can lucid dream”). you see where i’m going with this? i’m putting shifting in the same category as things we all normally do, that we sometimes don’t even think about doing since they’re such a natural activity. to this list i could add “i can breathe”, because we do it automatically, without even realising unless we focus on it. the same can be said for drinking or eating really, if you’re angry or thirsty you just go and get whatever pleases you the most and not dwell on it.

in the non-beliefs list, i’ve written obvious things like santa and the easter bunny (which isn’t common here in italy tbf but yeah) and sentences like “i can’t swim”, “i can’t draw”, “i can’t eat strawberries” and in between them also “i don’t fear shifting”. here, the point is that all these listed beliefs are stuff i know for a fact to be false: i can swim perfectly, i am an artist and i love strawberries + i’m not allergic to them or anything. by placing shifting there, i'm stating that just like i KNOW i can swim or whatever, i also KNOW i'm not scared of shifting.

you’re literally gaslighting your subconscious mind into believing what is real for a fact and what isn’t.

after writing down this list, which can be done on paper just like on your preferred device, i reread everything twice explaining to myself why i chose these things and why they are beliefs or not. that’s how i realised that shifting is easy. when people talk about it “clicking” they weren’t lying!

shifting isn’t special, this is what the list thing tries to prove you. it’s not special because, just like breathing and eating and reading, we do it subconsciously everyday. take your own first language: you speak it naturally without having to doubt it, and if you know a second language well enough like i know english for instance (my mother-tongue is italian) then you can even start talking to yourself and think in that language without having to search up translations.

what’s the difference with shifting then?

the difference is that shifting hasn’t been taught to us in the same way as a language has been, all throughout school. the same thing goes for reading and writing: we read and write naturally because we’ve been taught how to when we were young and it’s now engraved in our brains, just like with learning our first language, which is something we normally do thanks to our teachers, our families and the people around us, of course. this doesn’t happen with shifting in most cases, as we all know, which means it’s normal for it to take a bit to grasp as a concept and existing thing/activity. it’s natural, most of us human beings just don’t know about it, nor that we’re capable of doing it.

this is why i said it’s not special: just like breathing, everybody can do it (and so do you)!

going back to the non-beliefs list; i should also add that as a society we usually are taught what to believe in from a young age, and specifically what is believed to be a fantasy, a dream, or something real. as grown-ups, though, we have the right to believe in whatever we want, like shifting. as a realistic person, i understand that some people may have a hard time believing something as great as shifting could be true, because it genuinely doesn’t sound like it! so yes, this is also a factor that can and does make it harder for someone to trust their guts and expect to wake up somewhere that’s only fictional here.

shifting clicks for everybody at different times, but i hope this post will help some of you here understand it better and know that what more experienced shifters say always has a meaning, you just need the time to properly reflect on it to get it!

when it clicked for me a few hours ago i felt a huge rush of adrenaline and happiness bc yes, i can actually shift. i’m just overcomplicating it for no reason and so many of you are doing the same!

it’s okay though, we’ll all get there <3

(psa: if you saw any grammar mistakes or anything NO YOU DIDN'T and also please don't mind if this rant doesn't sound logical, i tried my best to explain myself like i wanted to 🥲)

[dribs-and-drabbles]

I'm in a dodgy hotel with bad wifi and somewhat bored, so I thought I'd come up with a list of things that I wish I could get from GMMTV but I know I won't.

A reveal towards the end of a series that two friends of the main couple have been dating the whole time (think Warm/Cop from Perfect 10 Liners or Mick/Beer from We Are).

Fourth and Gemini in something more serious like Moonlight Chicken.

POLY. DAMMIT.

Lift and Papang playing father and son. (Look at their beautiful faces!). And let them both have romances.

Older queer romance as the main storyline - and when I say older I mean actual 40+ and not a 'second chance at love because first love left/died' but just two people who never really found their person meeting later in life and clicking.

Dance themed but with actors/actresses who can actually dance - and preferably contemporary dance (I don't know if you realise how homoerotic that can be) but it could also be traditional Thai dancing (rather than tpop/idol style).

Short-haired/butch Sapphics.

Produce Jeab's swansong series.

A character/storyline which makes AMPLE use of Phuwin's Mandarin and English (or any other actor proficient in other languages) - shows include thai subtitles for northern dialects so why not more than the usual token foreign language.

In fact, I'll go further to say: Utilise the different languages of the foreign actors who play supporting roles rather than make them speak English and try to fob them off as American. If they're Italian, let them speak Italien. If they're Dutch let them speak Dutch. Etc.

MIX-UP BRANDED PAIRS. Book/Drake. Fluke Nattanon/Inn. Or Fluke Nattanon/Ohm Thipakorn. Jimmy/Mix. (You see my vision). Satang/Title. Victor/Great. JOONG/OHM PAWAT. (They might be TOO powerful). Etc, etc etc.

Take Max from Be My Favourite as a foundation for a lead character for Aou.

GIVE PEPPER A FAEN.

Nanon and Mark Pakin leading a bl. Look I'd even take a bromance if Nanon doesn't want to do bl. Better still if Nanon is in drag/cross-dresses/is a trans woman. This must be serious though. Not played for laughs. (I'm thinking an aged up version of the sides in About Youth).

MORE POSITIVE ASEXUAL REP.

DEAR GOD let AJ and JJ lead a show together. Maybe a comedy bl/het with either mistaken identity or deliberate confusion because they're pretending to be one person but fall in love with different people/genders.

Jus Justina in another show. Preferably leading. (She screenwrites and directs, so might not act again).

More Ployphach…maybe with Jan in a GL if she'll do one.

Peaceful Property Our Skyy 3 edition with their friends-to lovers story set 6 months after the end of the show.

An unhinged female ensemble show - I don't care if it's romance or not, I want badass women working together or in support of each other other. Maybe with JoJo directing.

POPPY.

Please and thank you 🙏🏽

[outerwilds-events]

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[solavelyan]

yet more "mythal was andraste" (and related flemeth) thoughts (and a readmore to save your dashboards from my rambling)

our lady of (perpetual) victory is a name for andraste, so obviously the eluvian you find in veilguard's opener is underneath an andraste monument. and what more appropriate place for solas's hideout to be than hidden under a statue of one of mythal's lives (whether he realizes it or not)

with how much matching symbolism and how many hints there are in veilguard that mythal was andraste despite andrastianism/the chantry itself being so downplayed in this specific game, i feel almost completely comfortable saying that andraste-was-a-mythal-vessel is functionally canon -- but also that i don't think it will ever be bluntly stated in a game. it might show up in an artbook or if they do another world of thedas? maybe? but it seems that the choice was made a long time ago to never confirm the true nature of the maker/andraste in maintext and they've stuck to that. maybe that will change if they get a DA5 or they get DLC and do something whacky with it, but i wouldn't expect it at all

but also, like... i was mostly right about the evanuris/old tevinter gods situation 10 years ago and this all has the same vibes and more evidence, so

however, i don't think that solas knows that andraste had a mythal shard. i think he would have been much much much less amiable to the idea of the (distinctly andrastian) version of the maker and less generally neutral about the andraste of it all in inquisition if he knew. i'm not given to the impression that he sat down and had a long chit-chat with flemeth at any point in time; avoiding mythal seems to be his preference in the modern era, out of shame if nothing else, so i don't see flemeth really having the time with him to have gotten around to mentioning it, if we even assume it's the same piece of her

which i do, btw. i do think flemeth has the same chunk of mythal that andraste did, and i would even venture to say that flemeth is a blood relative of andraste. both of them are explicitly stated to have only ever had daughters, and andraste's biological children only had daughters themselves. it's one of those details that's kind of a fun fact if you do it once, but clearly a trend if you do it twice. i don't think mythal was hopping from one andraste descendant to the next, necessarily, but i can see her having enough of a soft spot to show up for flemeth when original recipe flemeth called out for help from the spirits

with all of this, given DAO and silent grove lore... i'm inclined to think that flemeth - who we know is capable of and willing to section off parts of herself to survive her potential death - is probably the first of mythal's vessels to decide to "follow" her. we know that morrigan remembers flemeth as young once, and that she body-hops when she gets very old, but it's also clearly still the same person in the modern era as it was in 3:00-something

morrigan in veilguard also claims flemeth's titles. so i'm inclined to believe that "flemeth" is both an actual person's name and kind of functionally a title for whatever a daughter becomes when they accept the mix of godhood and memories that gets passed down. morrigan just might be the first one to still call herself by her old name instead of adopting "flemeth" as a moniker

[set-phasers-to-whump]

i know that there will be better days

prompt: nightmares

whumpee: river cartwright

fandom: slough house

hiiii this one's set post-standing by the wall and as such has spoilers for slough house. i am very sorry to my lovely friends who have only seen the show or have not made it through all the books however this prompt simply spoke to me and i knew what i had to do. if you do read this i hope you enjoy!!!

Catherine would be lying if she said she wasn’t a bit concerned about River. 

Granted, she knows, as he’d been so keen to tell her, that he’d passed the medical. She’s heard him insist, time and time again, that he’s fine. 

But she’s also seen him falter upon standing, brace his hands against his desk, sink back into his chair. She’s seen him turn up with dark circles beneath his eyes so pronounced they’d looked as if they’d been painted on. She’s seen him hastily exit his room, slam the toilet door behind him, heard the sound of gagging. 

She hasn’t brought any of this up to River himself, of course. In the first place, she doesn’t think he would appreciate it. In the second place, she knows he’d just brush it all off with one of those catchall I’m fine’s that Catherine knows don’t fool anyone, except perhaps Roddy.

So she’s hardly planning on saying anything when she catches River sleeping at his desk. God knows he’s looked especially rough the last few days. She’s half considering locating a blanket—not that she especially trusts any soft item found in Slough House—when a soft noise from the sleeping form slouched onto the desk halts her in her tracks. 

He sounds distressed, afraid. Painful memories twist in Catherine’s chest. Part of her wants to leave, to let River have some of that sense of dignity he so desperately clings to, to not get involved. Part of her insists she stay. 

It’s this latter part of her that wins out, owing not so much to any mental calculations on her part as to another quiet and pained noise from River. 

She can hardly just let him suffer. 

Catherine approaches him cautiously, like one might approach a feral cat. She doesn’t know whether he’ll take kindly to being woken, whether she might receive a startled lashing-out. 

She steadies herself, then reaches out a hand and lightly taps River on the shoulder. 

He shoots upright, and Catherine instinctively steps back, startled. River looks around, his eyes wide. He’s panting and his whole body is shaking and, contrary to lashing out angrily, he actually looks as if he is about to cry. 

“It’s alright, River,” Catherine says, stepping in close to him again. “It was only a nightmare.”

He looks up at her for a second, then back down. The breaths he’s taking sound painful, too quick and too sharp. She wants to help. 

“I—” he starts, but that’s all he’s able to get out. He looks so afraid, so young, and Catherine thinks of herself, of the hellish visions of Charles that had tormented her for years, and she makes up her mind. 

She bends over a bit—it’s not the best angle, to be sure, and her back protests, but no matter—and carefully, hesitantly, wraps her arms around him, the way she’d wanted to before, but hadn’t quite had the guts to go through with. 

He stiffens up for a second, and Catherine worries that she’s made a terrible mistake. 

But then he softens again, and she can feel the way he’s still trembling, the way his breathing is still erratic and harsh. The residual fear and grief are palpable in the air. 

She doesn’t realize that he’s crying, at first, with how much he’s shaking. But after a few seconds, she notices that the shoulder of her dress is damp, and if she really focuses, she can hear River sniffling very quietly. He’s good, evidently, at being silent. 

Catherine has never seen him cry before. Of course, she’s never seen him have a nightmare before, either, so there’s multiple new experiences happening for her today. But she knows him. The way he always insists that he’s fine, even when he’s not. The way he’d rather ignore his own suffering than confront it head-on. 

He’s been through hell, recently. Not that any of the slow horses have had a particularly easy go of it, but Novichok—it’s the stuff of horror stories, not the fate of disgraced MI5 agents. 

All this to say, she puts a lot of value onto this moment, right here. River crying into her shoulder in his office in the middle of a Thursday afternoon. She’s aware of the kind of suffering it’s taken to get him to this breaking point. She hates it, but she’ll be damned if she won’t do what she can to help. 

And so she holds on. Her legs start to cramp, a bit, but she pays them no mind. It’s River. 

He lets go after quite some time. Catherine stands back up, does not wince at the twinging in her legs and back, and smooths out her dress. 

“Sorry,” River says. His voice is scratchy, but he’s no longer shaking and his breathing has mostly returned to normal. There are tear tracks running down his cheeks and his eyes are rimmed with red. “Sorry, I didn’t—I’ll just—”

“River,” Catherine interrupts, and he stops, looks up at her, rubs a hand beneath his eyes. 

“It’s alright,” she continues. “You’re allowed to not be fine, you know.”

He kind of looks like he’s about to start crying again. Catherine isn’t sure whether either of them are really equipped for this. “I am fine, I’m—I have to be fine.”

Catherine shakes her head. “You were dosed with an incredibly toxic nerve agent, not to mention everything else you’ve gone through these past few years. I’d be surprised if you were somehow truly fine.”

River gives her a little sort of half-smile that is almost more painful for her than the crying. “Okay,” he says, and he sounds like he’s admitting to something terrible. “Okay, yeah, I’m—maybe I’m not…entirely fine.”

He slumps deeper into his chair, scrubs at his eyes again. Catherine recalls her very first AA meeting—“I’m Catherine and I’m an alcoholic”—how afraid she’d been to admit to anyone else that she had a problem, that she wasn’t able to handle it on her own. River’s situation is, of course, drastically different, but there’s an element there that Catherine recognizes all the same. 

She wishes that there was something she could say to make this easier. But she knows that the only way to heal is time, that the only way out, as cliché as it may sound, is through. 

“I know you’re not,” is what she settles on saying, at last. “But you will be.”

River looks up at her again and there’s a faint glimmer of his usual self poking through everything else. It makes her feel vaguely hopeful, and she puts a hand onto his shoulder, glad of the contact now she’s broken the seal. 

“I think I’ll make some tea,” she says, a thinly veiled offer, an opened door. 

“Yeah, alright,” River replies, and it feels like a small, but important, step has been taken.

thanks so much for reading! i am planning to do a deeper dive into river post-novichok at some point but who knows when that will be. in any case i enjoyed doing a little exploration of that here, hope you liked!

[musical-chick-13]

Fuck it, weird-yet-galaxy-brain take is that Love Is War is rom-com Death Note, but not in regard to the ship that everyone thinks, and what I mean by this is that Kaguya and Miyuki are NOT the lighthearted lower-stakes rom-com version of Light and L, they're the lighthearted lower-stakes rom-com version of Near and Mello.

[bmpmp3]

the epic highs and lows of trying to read an ongoing shounen manga

[gaydryad]

accidentally getting a little too into my pedagogy class and starting to wonder if I should pivot and go into education (academic field)

[trans-xianxian]

the person who has been letting me drive her car around knows a mechanic selling a car I might want so she gave me his number so that I could ask abt it so I texted asking when he thinks it might be ready/how much it would be and that its fine if he doesn't know yet and he just went "I haven't even secured the title yet" like okay cool. that answers neither of my questions

[elytrafemme]

one day i might want to make a master post with all of my AO3-user tips because (and this is a toxic trait of mine ik) i get REALLY irritated with a lot of ‘advice’ posts that just repeat the same basic information in a patronizing way without offering like... actually specific input. 

and i think ao3 as a whole is a relatively easy site to use you just gotta get the hang of it. in a sense i would really liken it to tumblr because one of the things about tumblr is that you can’t just join the site and then hit an explore page directly, that’s not really how this place works, you usually have to populate your dash with blogs. with ao3 it is significantly harder to just search up ships and works imo, it’s best if you already have favorite tags and how you do that is finding specific fics and then going from there and exploring in a branch off method. so once you use it for a while it’s extremely comfortable and remarkably convenient it’s just not really the easiest from the get go.

[mashmouths]

i need to make a venn diagram of character traits shared between mizu bes, simon ss, and lancelot timk because oh? my god.

[nishicchikouchi]

LITC is ending in 6 chapters. I HAVE NOT read anything about it, but my fyp is really full of litc content XD so I know that Cirrus is leaving for America. Im gonna wait til this finishes before I read so atleast I know the ending and what I would expect.

[shidoukanae]

Went and read the TME prologue on the official site to see if i could trigger something COME ON NOW and then-

"And that person that I wanted to change the most...who is also the most precious person...that person..."

*shows a picture of Helene*

THE ENGLISH TRANSLATED PROLOGUE CHEATED ME OF THESE LINES ARE YOU KIDDING ME