#also totally not helped by terminator
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One of my favorite parts of the argument against AI is how little most everybody arguing against artificial intelligence actually knows what the fuck theyâre on about.
Artificial intelligence on its own contributes a SHITTON to your daily life online. What is today considered âartificial intelligenceâ versus what artificial intelligence started off as (being a way to use machines to make scripts more efficient) are two tenuously connected concepts. Does your phone occasionally autocorrect when it thinks youâve spelled shit wrong, until it eventually gives up because you keep using the âmisspellingâ? Do you like when your social media feed shows you posts by people you donât follow? Thatâs, arguably, AI - the machine is seeing patterns in behavior, so, to save both the user and the machine time, it makes this pattern easier to access, rather than the user having to take possible minutes to search for what they wanted rather than it simply showing up first thing.
AI is not inherently evil, in the same way as knives are not inherently evil. What is evil is when people take shit to input into their scripts or whatever that is not theirs and then essentially clone said stolen artifact with dna from a multitude of other stolen artifacts and then pass it off as their own work. But that is NOT what the majority of machine learning is, and demonizing people who are using this learning to be more efficient (without taking shit that isnât theirs!!) are not the people we should be fighting.
In case you're still reflexively on the fence when I proclaim that the conversation about AI has progressed to a truly batshit level of reactionary mythology, people on twitter are currently calling out the animators for Spiderverse for using a digital interpolator to assist with lining, because a documentary used the term "machine learning" to describe it.
Apparently using digital tools is taking work away from real artists. I am excited for 6 months time when the discourse has evolved into "all movies should be hand-inked on the inside of Palaeolithic caves to escape the corrupting labour-stealing influence of the pencil".
(Yes this is currently a minority opinion in this instance, largely because people just really like Spiderverse. But the fact that these arguments are being seriously made shows how far off the deep end this conversation has gone. These types of arguments for blanket technology bans already made little to no sense due to the double standard applied, and this demonstrates that by removing the double standard and taking them closer to their logical conclusion - all labour saving tools are bad, especially if they involve a spooky computer algorithm).
#itâs probably obvious to people who are more experienced than I am that my primary focus is in chatbot neuralnets or whatevs#and I know I am nowhere CLOSE to understanding even half of what can be considered AI#because it is such a vast topic#and I only have 16 yrs of experience on thsi earth#but I really hate the uptick in ai hatred#like I used to be able to giggle at the fear people held towards AI because it was mostly just like#the times chatbots and related machines would pull from forums saying âhumans suck!â and shit and making it sound like they are sentient#when really theyâre just rephrasing shit thatâs already been said because they were prompted to talk about people dying or whatever#also totally not helped by terminator#but here the hatred and vitriol for people who are NOT THE PROBLEM is so incredibly upsetting#because like! Iâm glad you have anger towards thievery! but maybe put that anger towards actually doing something useful#instead of just antagonizing people who did diddly squat to deserve it#I have a lot of thoughts on this I apologize for rambling about things I could never fully understand#but also put an effort towards like⌠/sdg/ on the technology board#!!#reblog rant
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an unnecessary reminder i will go to bat any day of the week for james sunderland.
#ooc. o kaptain.#[listen. i know he can be interpreted a lot of ways. i know heâs a useless weird apathetic shitty cis white man. i know heâs weird and sad.#and do I hate characters like james usually? oh absolutely. but the man has potential to not be terrible and itâs all there in his source#material. plus the weird implication i always feel when we know his dad owns the apartment building in silent hill 4 and âhis son and#daughter in law disappeared in shâ which aligns with the in water ending. and confirms the body in the car. but my other vibe is⌠where was#anyone helping james while Mary was sickâŚ? he was super young and so was she. was he just literally taking on this terminal illness on his#own without any real support? thatâs the implication considering this trauma wouldnât have scarred him to this degree if he HAD a support#system during Maryâs illness. the man was literaly left to deal with the love of his life PROBABLY newly married slowly dying. and totally#unprepared he tried to do the best he could with a horrible situation. Mary was the victim here unquestionably â he fucking killed herâ but#what the fuck kind of neglect has to go into a situation to a level so prolonged that he cracks and does it? how many people DIDNT help him#OR Mary during her illness? how many people just didnât care? deciding âJames is bad and he did it because heâs selfish and terribleâ isnât#realistic. and also no. he didnât do it because he couldnât have sex with her anymore we get it blah blah pyramid head. if you take it THAT#straightforward idk what to tell you. nothing is. and this game is only more complex the older i get.]
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how to build a digital music collection and stuff
spotify sucks aaaass. so start downloading shit!!
file format glossary
.wav is highest quality and biggest
.mp3 is very small, but uses lossy compression which means it's lower quality
.flac is smaller than .wav, but uses lossless compression so it's high quality
.m4a is an audio file format that apple uses. that's all i really know
downloading the music
doubledouble.top is a life saver. you can download from a variety of services including but not limited to apple music, spotify, soundcloud, tidal, deezer, etc.
i'd recommend ripping your music from tidal or apple music since they're the best quality (i think apple music gives you lossless audio anyway. .m4a can be both lossy and lossless, but from the text on doubledouble i assume they're ripping HQ files off apple music)
i also love love love cobalt.tools for ripping audio/video from youtube (they support a lot of other platforms too!)
of course, many artists have their music on bandcamp â purchase or download directly from them if you can. bandcamp offers a variety of file formats for download
file conversion
if you're downloading from apple music with doubledouble, it spits out an .m4a file.
.m4a is ok for some people but if you prefer .flac, you may wanna convert it. ffmpeg is a CLI (terminal) tool to help with media conversion
if you're on linux or macOS, you can use parameter expansion to batch convert all files in a folder. put the files in one place first, then with your terminal, cd into the directory and run:
for i in *.m4a; do ffmpeg -i "$i" "${i%.*}.flac"; done
this converts from .m4a to .flac â change the file extensions if needed.
soulseek
another way to get music is through soulseek. soulseek is a peer-to-peer file sharing network which is mainly used for music. nicotine+ is a pretty intuitive (and open-source) client if you don't like the official one.
you can probably find a better tutorial on soulseek somewhere else. just wanted to make this option known
it's bad etiquette to download from people without sharing files of your own, so make sure you've got something shared. also try to avoid queuing up more than 1-2 albums from one person in a row
tagging & organizing your music
tagging: adding metadata to a music file (eg. song name, artist name, album) that music players can recognize and display
if you've ripped music from a streaming platform, chances are it's already tagged. i've gotten files with slightly incorrect tags from doubledouble though, so if you care about that then you might wanna look into it
i use musicbrainz picard for my tagging. they've got pretty extensive documentation, which will probably be more useful than me
basically, you can look up album data from an online database into the program, and then match each track with its file. the program will tag each file correctly for you (there's also options for renaming the file according to a certain structure if you're into that!)
there's also beets, which is a CLI tool for... a lot of music collection management stuff. i haven't really used it myself, but if you feel up to it then they've got extensive documentation too. for most people, though, it's not really a necessity
how you wanna organize your music is completely up to you. my preferred filestructure is:
artist > album > track # track
using a music player
the options for this are pretty expansive. commonly used players i see include VLC, foobar2000, clementine (or a fork of it called strawberry), and cmus (for the terminal)
you can also totally use iTunes or something. i don't know what audio players other systems come with
i personally use dopamine. it's a little bit slow, but it's got a nice UI and is themeable plus has last.fm support (!!!)
don't let the github page fool you, you don't have to build from source. you can find the releases here
click the "assets" dropdown on the most recent release, and download whichever one is compatible with your OS
syncing
if you're fine with your files just being on one device (perhaps your computer, but perhaps also an USB drive or an mp3 player), you don't have to do this
you can sync with something like google drive, but i hate google more than i hate spotify
you can get a free nextcloud account from one of their providers with 2GB of free storage. you can use webDAV to access your files from an app on your phone or other device (documents by readdle has webDAV support, which is what i use)
disroot and blahaj.land are a couple providers i know that offer other services as well as nextcloud (so you get more with your account), but accounts are manually approved. do give them a look though!!
if you're tech-savvy and have an unused machine lying around, look into self-hosting your own nextcloud, or better yet, your own media server. i've heard that navidrome is a pretty good audio server. i unfortunately don't have experience with self-hosting at the moment so i have like zero advice to give here. yunohost seems to be a really easy way to manage a server
afterword
i don't know if any of this is helpful, but i just wanted to consolidate my personal advice in one place. fuck big tech. own your media, they could take it away from you at any moment
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Daddy issues
After your dad is arrested, you try and beg for his job back. But Rafe Cameron decides another way for you to help your father. And his arrangement is different than you imagine.
Warnings! Daddy kink! Talks of violence! Slight reference to abuse! Choking! Blow job! Rough unprotected sex! Breeding kink! Virginity loss! Dirty talk!
You didnt know if you were more angry or surprised when you got the call from the officer that your dad was arrested and currently in jail for assault. You were finished working your late shift at the restaurant when your phone rang.
You screamed in your car on the way to the station. Your dad was a dead beat. An asshole who didnât know how to fucking control his temper. Daddy dearest also liked to get loud with you, throw things when he didnât get his way and one time he slapped you in the face.
You slapped him back and threatened to slash his tires. But the threat was empty considering he needed to work, which you had no idea how he kept his job at the docks while working for Rafe Cameron. It used to be his father Ward until his suicide. Youâd met him often while picking your dad up, given you had to share a car.
He wasâŚpolite you could say. But he was also scary. He glared at everyone and he was short tempered. You usually heard him snapping or yelling if something wasnât done right. Your dad complained about how strict he was.
But his status and wealth made everyone obey him and intimidated you. His attractiveness however was on another level. His height made you feel small and his blue eyes cut through people.
You slammed the door at the station and went to the desk. After signing in, you tapped your foot impatiently as an officer came up to you.
âAre youâŚ?â
âMy dad is here. He just got arrested.â You ground out. You hated being here. She nodded and looked at paperwork in front of her.
âAre you here to post bail?â
âIâm here to see if thereâs any way we can clear this up as a misunderstanding.â You tried to plead but she shook her head.
âMaâam, he attacked a man at a stoplight. He beat him up to the point he lost one of his teeth.â
You pressed your head against your hand. Jesus Christ it was worse than you thought. âHow much is bail?â
She looked again at the paperwork. âLooks like weâre at 6,000 dollars.â
âWhat? I thought the bail was lower than that!â You shrieked.
âMaâam. He also had multiple charges. Public intoxication, disturbance and assault. He caused a lot of trouble. I suggest you alert his job tomorrow. But until then, heâs going to spend at least 60 days in jail.â
You started crying. You couldnât help it. It hurt so much. You couldnât get a break. And now youâd have to face Rafe Cameron and face the humiliation of your dad being in jail.
You cried on and off the next day as you had to switch your schedule to the evening and make the phone call to your dads manager about his current situation. It was immediate termination and you broke down even harder in your bedroom. You refused to take his phone call, afraid youâd explode on him.
As you got ready for another dreaded work shift, your phone started ringing to a number you didnât recognize. Hesitantly, you answered.
âHello?â
âYour dads in jail, huh?â You immediately froze. It was Rafeâs voice. How did he-well he was capable of finding anything out.
âI-um. Yes. And he canât work for you anymore. But if youâll please reconsider. I know heâs a piece of shit but this is the only job heâs lasted out and we desperately need the money. Iâm trying to get a car and we have to share one. I know this is probably pointless but I canât help but try. So please, please take him back.â More tears came and you felt like a total cry baby but you pushed through.
You expected him to laugh but instead silence met you.
You bit your lip hard enough it bled.
âMeet me at my house. Iâll text you the address. I have a proposition for you.â
âWhy canât you tell me over the phone?â Your stomach tightened.
âDo you want me to help you or not?â
âYes. Of course. Iâll be there.â
âGood girl.â
You set the phone down but seconds later his address came through in a text and your breath stopped short. He wanted to see you after work.
Five minutes before closing and after you finished cleaning, the drive to Rafeâs house wasnât that far and now you knocked on his door. When he answered, you tried not to reveal how much you found him attractive. His hair was in his face and his eyes were glazed as he looked down at you. His fingers twitched and you imagined what he was doing with that handâŚ
Rafe gestured with his head for you to come in and you followed him inside the massive penthouse. He had everything you imagined. Expensive furniture, floors and lights.
You followed him to the kitchen where he pointed to the bar stool. âHave a seat.â He muttered.
You obeyed and watched as he circled the island in the center of the room. âSo. You wanna save your dads job?â
âYes. Iâm willing to do anything-â You stopped short when a smirk fell on his face.
âAnything?â Rafe challenged. âIt looked like you hated him whenever I saw you talk to him.â
âItâs complicated.â You replied and his smirk grew into a cruel smile.
âLooks like someone has daddy issues.â Rafe countered and you crossed your arms.
âI-well when you put it that way-â
âIâm just bringing up what youâre telling me. Your dad beats the shit out of someone. He went to jail-and now youâre doing anything you can to fix it. Tell me if I missed anything.â Rafeâs voice was low and you hated that he was right.
âIâm sorry. I didnât mean to sound pushy. Iâm just in a tight spot.â
âOh Iâm sure youâre in aâŚtight spot.â His meaning was clear and you swallowed.
That was the exchange.
âLook at you. Being a little smart girl and figuring it out. Iâm gonna get to the point. You want me to take him back? Bail him out? I get to fuck you. Anywhere. Anytime. And anyplace I want. No condoms. No hidden birth control. No. I wanna see my cum leak out of that desperate pussy.â
Your mouth opened and closed. âI canât just fuck a stranger. And no birth control? I canât fucking get pregnant.â
âIâm a selfish whore, baby. And I can afford one. And those are my terms. Either that. Or your dad rots.â
You bit your lip. You werenât in a position to say no. You needed the money. And Rafe was hot. There were worse guys. Rafe got closer, his big hands reaching to cup the side of your neck.
âYeah? You want it?â
Slowly, you nodded.
Rafe crooked a finger, signaling you to come closer. You stepped down and approached him gingerly and looked into his gaze. Rafe then latched his hand around your throat. His grip was so strong your feet almost lifted in the air and your eyes widened as he crushed his lips to yours.
His lips devoured you as he shoved his tongue into your mouth. You werenât experienced. Sure, youâd touched yourself and made out with people.
But actual fucking? Youâd never done that. And you knew that was about to change.
âYou want me to take care of you, donât you?â Rafe loosened his hold on your neck and pressed you against the island counter, âneed someone to be your daddy?â
Your hands flew to his chest as you brought him impossibly closer, his lips sucked your skin with bruising force. You opened your mouth as he slipped his fingers inside.
âSuck.â He commanded and you listened. Spit gathering on your lips as he kneed your legs apart and lifted you up on the counter.
âNeed daddy to help you? Fill you up with my cum?â His dirty words made your cunt twitch as he started toying the end of your skirt. Your thighs dampened as he trailed his thick fingers along your flesh, his fingers grazing the wet patch of your underwear.
You started grinding to give any friction against your arousal as he apparently changed his mind and threw you to the ground by underneath your arms. Rafe gestured to the crotch of his pants. âConsider this your first payment, baby. You ever done this before?â
You shakily remained silent as he huffed an amused laugh.
âReally? A girl whoâs such a perv that sheâs willing to fuck someone giving her money? Never would have guessed. I guess Iâll be nice and help you.â
Rafe undressed his lower half, his cock leaked with precum and he took your hand. âSwipe it with your thumb, get it all wet.â His massive hand compared to yours was almost comical as he grabbed the back of your head.
âOpen your mouth, princess. And remember to breathe through your nose.â
After that, he silenced whatever worries you had by shoving his dick forward. You run your tongue along the thick underside, lessening some of the heavy weight by massaging with your hand. You took the tip through your mouth, shoving down any nerves as you sucked. Rafe bobbed your head up and down as he pushed you further, your head bouncing as your eyes squeezed shut.
âNo, no, open your slutty eyes and look at me.â He growled. He leaned over the arch of the space between the counter and where you sank on your knees. The skin of his cock was supple as you continued aiding with your hand. It was hot to the touch.
âGood fucking girl. Maybe Iâll reward you by fucking your pussy.â He started thrusting and hitting the back of your throat. âBreathe. Breathe through your nose.â He wiped a few tears away with his thumb as you listened to him.
You knew he was getting closer as he stopped talking, his breathing heavier as he moved your head. His cum spilled inside your mouth, as he released you and you coughed.
âNot bad for your first time. Weâre gonna practice some more.â Rafe smirked as his face was flushed and his fist flexed.
He moved on top of you on the floor, hiking up your skirt and ripping off your panties. He spread apart your wet cunt and dipped his middle finger inside your clenching entrance. âYouâre such a whore. Never done any of this and youâre already gonna cum. Should have known youâd be daddyâs cum slut.â
Rafe yanked your legs apart, and spit on your pussy. âNot that it needed it, but Iâm gonna be a little more kind to you.â You shrieked as he grabbed your jaw.
âAre you on birth control?â
âNo.â You quickly answered. âNever-never needed-â
âGood. And youâre not going to. Got it?â Rafe moaned as he pushed his tip in your pussy, âfuck youâre so tight.â
You winced from discomfort but then his knuckles hit your clit, aiding to relieve your tension as he circled them. âGonna make you mine. Take you away from all that shit.â He grunted as he pushed further.
Rafe let you wrap your arms around his neck as he thrusted.
âTell daddy you like it.â
âI like it.â You sobbed as he moved harder. âI like it, daddy.â
It was slightly shameful how quickly you came all over him and spilled onto your legs. Rafe also came again and you felt it inside you. He was serious about no protection.
He stayed for a few seconds before getting up. And pulling his pants back on. He extended his hand and pulled you up. You knew you were a sight to be seen, fucked out eyes and messy hair. You just lost your virginity to Rafe Cameron.
You cleared your throat and watched him sweep his eyes over your face. âSo. My dad?â
He shrugged. âHeâs already out.â
You paled. âWhat?â
âI posted bail a few minutes before you got here. But as for his job, youâre gonna have to work harder than that. I have conditions.â
âBut I already said-â
âMore than just fucking you, baby girl. I own you now. You are mine and no one gets to even think about fucking you. I will cross any line you make to keep me away. And if you try, I will punish you.â
âI didnât do anything wrong.â You whimpered as he loomed over you.
âAnd?â He mocked. âYou already agreed. You need me. Donât you?â He cupped your jaw. Tightly but not as harsh.
âYeah.â You leaned in to his touch. Your defenses are completely down. You needed care. You were always working. Always cleaning up after someoneâs mess. And nowâŚhe was going to take care of you.
And either make your daddy issues better.
Or worse.
@xxhellfirebunnyxx @imyourdaninow @lesservillain @take-everything-you-can @slvt4jamesmarch @ifeeltoofuckingmuch @scene-and-dandylover @emsgoodthinkin
#rafe cameron#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe imagine#rafe smut#rafe fanfiction#rafe x you#rafe obx#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x female reader#Rafe Cameron imagine#Rafe Cameron series#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron outer banks#outerbanks rafe#rafe fic
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Hi!!!! I love your work and talent, you are so amazing!đ I was wondering if you could do a light angst fic. Like bucky is a player who is just running through women, and the avenger reader has a big crush on him . She has to watch him string girls through the tower all the time and it makes her sad. Bucky's type is dark,red lip, baddie but reader is the mom of the friend group and wears pink and is super sweet and a little awkward, she is also a mutant who has like earth powers. So whenever she's happy or laughing flowers will bloom in her hair. She's so cute. Kinda like the trope: she fell first but he fell harder. And like bucky realizes that he's madly in love with our sweet baby angel reader. And the FLUFF!! đđđ
Thank you, love Binks đ
Yes. Yesyesyes. I hope you're all ready cause I sat with this piece for weeks. Jealously, Misunderstandings, love sick Bucky, idiots in love, SO MUCH ANGST AND FLUFF . Protective best friend Steve and dash of smut cause I can't help myself, its so sweet and soft and I love these two, put myself in my feelings with their spicy and sweet loving.
-
"See you later Sargent" A gorgeous woman walked by the kitchen on her way out or the tower, winking over her shoulder and blowing a kiss to the soldier who smirked at her in response. Her lipstick hadn't budged even after a night of who knows what with Bucky, her perfectly curved hips swaying along with the click of her heels.
You were busy with making breakfast, dustings of flour covering your nose and cheeks, still in your baby pink pj's, looking the total opposite of the gorgeous girl Bucky spent the night with.
"Damn Barnes" Tony whistled after the she had left, clapping a hand on his shoulder, "Where do you find em'-Ow!" Tony yelped when Nat gave his ear a flick, cocking her eyebrow up in amusement.
"I'll let Pepper know you're curious-
"Nope. No. I was just admiring Terminators taste" Tony threw his hands up, swiping a hot pancake from the stack you were plating making you giggle, tiny daisies blooming around your hair "These are delicious Petal. I'll never get tired of seeing that" Tony smiled, looking at the fresh little flowers that reflected your mood, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before returning to the lab.
"Sure, admiring taste" Nat snorted while Bucky snickered, taking a seat at the kitchen island; his fluffy hair still messy from bed. You set down a plate in front of him, adding butter and some fresh strawberries on the side just the way he liked.
"Here you go Sargent" You smiled softly before getting started on cutting up more fruit for Steve and Sam who would be returning from their run soon.
"These are amazing" Bucky hummed, reaching for more; he'd never get tired of your cooking. You tried to bite back a smile while vines of baby pink roses weaved their way through your hair, matching the fuzzy feeling the soldier made you feel. The flowers were not missed by Bucky who watched you continue to flit about the kitchen like a little garden fairy, making sure everyone would have something for breakfast. He couldn't help but chuckle at the way you crawled up onto the counters like a cat to reach the highest shelves, a few knotty tendrils sneaking their way through your hair indicating your frustrations when you nearly dropped a cup.
"Do you have different flowers for different moods?" Bucky continued to watch you while you slinked off the counter, starting on a smoothie.
"Sort of? Yeah I guess" You thought to yourself, noting you'd often have yellow ones when you'd laugh, or purple ones when you were excited. You only ever got pink ones around Bucky; the only person to make you feel warm and shy and soft. You were caught off guard the first time you saw the tiny pink buds in your hair the same day you met him when you joined the team. No one else seemed to notice, too busy admiring the fact that gorgeous petals decorated your hair.
Everyone except Bucky.
The soldier was trained to notice everything.
He'd seen every type of flower adorn your hair but these ones were just around him.
"What do the little pink roses mean you're feeling?" Bucky asked, cocking his head when you looked at him like a deer in headlights.
Shit.
"It-I-happy! It means I'm happy" You stuttered out unconvincingly while Bucky hummed, cleaning off his plate before heading down to the gym, taking one last glance over his shoulder before rounding the corner.
Those tiny pink roses suited you perfectly; the human embodiment of a little fairy.
Ever since you'd joined the team, they were blessed with a full breakfast almost every morning, sometimes even dinner. Outside of your role as an Avenger, you took on a nurturing role within the team and of course that was just who you were, being so in tune with nature and naturally caring for those around you. Still, it was evident you went above and beyond just instinct when it came to taking care of others; you were very much the mom of the group. Initially Bucky found it confusing, wondering why you were so nice to everyone, always checking on their needs and being prepared for just about anything. He was so used to functioning on his own, he found it jarring when you were looking out for him too; didn't you know who he was? Why were you being nice to him?
He didn't even have it in him to give you the cold shoulder like he did with everyone else. What kind of person would he be if he was rude to the sweetest person he'd ever met. You were just so precious and sweet and you always smelled like fresh flowers and sunshine, he would've basked under your light for hours on end if you let him-
Bucky shook his head, breaking away from the train of thoughts he was having about you yet again. You didn't make sense. More specifically, him thinking of you didn't make sense. He was rough, rugged, made of muscle and metal, didn't like most people and the last time he'd been nurturing was back when he'd nurse Steve back to health more than 70 years ago.
You on the other hand were literally made of flowers, combined with soft sweetness, shy smiles and giggles. You were cute. Too cute. He had no business thinking about you, ignoring the fluttery jitter in his heart as he tossed a wink to a SHIELD agent who was training at the weights. She had joined recently, typically taking on missions which required her to go under cover in skin tight dresses and bodysuits; it was perfect for her given her tall and toned build. The woman smirked in response, biting her dark red painted lip before making her way over to him by the punching bags.
"Hey Sarge" she purred, bringing her hand up to toy with his dogtags, tugging at them suggestively, "Busy tonight?"
"We're having a movie thing" Bucky shrugged, not suggesting they had to do anything else after but if that's where the night led then-
"Hmm, I'll see you later then" She batted her lashes at him before going back to her set.
This made sense.
Casual. Sexy. Flirty.
Everything Bucky was good at and comfortable with. No feelings, no attachments. No deep, undying love he felt for a certain sweet girl on his team that he'd give his life for.
This made perfect sense.
-
You were the last to make it down to movie night after spending most of the evening prepping drinks and snacks for others. Movie nights were rare and it was even more rare for everyone to be present. You made sure there was something for each member of the team, from sour candy to chocolate, chips, cookies, tiny sandwiches and an array of drinks you'd set up on the coffee table.
You stood at the edge of the living room dressed in your warm oversized sweater and mismatched fluffy socks, nervously peering around the room for an empty space; usually you'd curl up on the two seater sofa with a thick fuzzy blanket draped over you but-
Your heart sank seeing yet another beautiful girl cuddled up next to Bucky, taking up all the space on the couch. A part of you contemplated on going back to your room; the sinking feeling in your stomach worsened seeing the new agent adjust herself until she was pressed right against the soldier. Why did you have to fall for for the person who wouldn't look at you twice. You were dressed in clothes too big and soft, a stark contrast to the matching silk lounge set she was wearing, leaving no doubt over how absolutely perfect her body was.
"Hey Petal, c'mere" Steve noticed you looking for a spot, patting he seat beside him, shifting over so you could join. You smiled at the Captain, quietly shuffling through the room, hiding into the cushions as the movie started. Your heart dropped further each time you heard the girl Bucky was with giggle, slinking around his lap while he gave her his flirty smirk. There were occasional times where flowers wouldn't bloom in your hair and this was one of them.
Steve noticed your less than enthusiastic demeanor, catching you glancing over at the brunette super soldier and his friend for the night, internally rolling his eyes at what an idiot his best friend was. He threw his arm around you, pulling you in to snuggle with him, whispering his own commentary as the movie progressed, hoping to lighten your mood.
You giggled, a few yellow flowers blossoming in your hair making Steve grin. Bucky watched carefully, a new emotion flaring in his chest as he watched bright petals fall onto your lap each time you laughed. He didn't like the new feeling that started off as warm to blazing hot, what was it he was even feeling-
Irritation? Sure a bit.
Confusion? Most certainly but not quite.
Jealously.
That's what he was feeling. He wanted to be the one who caused gorgeous tendrils of flowers to bloom, the one to make you giggle and laugh, the one who got to snuggle up with you. He was envious over how lucky Steve was, getting to cuddle up with such a soft bunny, his jealously momentarily interrupted when he took a moment to look at what you were wearing.
You looked so comfy with your warm sweater, your feet nice and toasty with your favorite socks. Bucky remembered you talking to him about them once, reading socks you'd called them.
"They're super soft and warm!" you grinned, clutching them to your chest after a trip to a book store. "I've been wanting a pair for ages. I finally caved and got them, I can't wait to put them on"
Bucky remembered chuckling to himself over how excited you'd gotten over a pair of socks, a few buds of lavender poking through your hair from how relaxed and calm they made you feel.
You looked so soft to cuddle up with like a little bear he'd hold to his chest, one that would protect him and keep him warm and safe. He wished he had a spot beside him because you would've sat where you always do and it would be him with his arm around you instead of Steve. He didn't want anything else. He shifted uncomfortably, trying to create some distance between himself and the agent, her close proximity suddenly feelings much to hot. She frowned, feeling him pull back, scooting over till she was cuddled up with him again.
Great.
"Did you want me to grab you something?" Steve asked you as he reached over for some chips, popping a few into his mouth. Before you could respond, you saw the woman whisper something in Bucky's ear, winking playfully before sitting up and taking his hand, the both of them leaving the movie half way. You felt like throwing up knowing he was taking her to his bedroom though you knew you had no right to be upset. He wasn't yours and he was welcome to do as he pleased though that didn't make the pain go away.
Bucky's POV
"How about it Sarge" She moved her hand up his thigh, giving it a squeeze, not bothering to wait for the movie to finish. Bucky stared at her like a deer in headlights while she cocked her head waiting for a response. Bucky glanced over to you, his heart breaking seeing your face fall. "Bucky? Are you listening to me?"
Bucky blinked realizing he was paying attention to you, mumbling an apology before turning to the agent. He didn't know who he was fooling but it was getting embarrassing, especially when he knew Steve was glaring at him from across the room. Neither of them had to open their mouths to understand the silent conversation they were having through their eyes alone.
"You're an idiot"
"Shut up"
"You know you like her"
"I-I don't..."
"Then why do you keep glaring at me like I stole your girl punk"
"Don't worry about it"
"You better figure it out before you hurt her more"
"She likes me?"
"You're an idiot"
"Jerk"
That did it. Bucky couldn't' last another second seeing your petals fall, the flowers Steve brought all retreating away and he couldn't sworn he saw you blink back tears. He couldn't keep doing this.
"Um, yeah sure" Bucky nodded, leading the woman away, walking past the elevators and towards the compound exist instead. As soon as he'd told the new agent he just couldn't do it he ran back to the living room in hopes of finding you only to find your spot empty.
You did your best to bite down on your trembling lip but it didn't work. As soon as the first whimper slipped out, Steve hugged you softly, telling you to to go to your room. You looked at him through wet lashes, his soft blue eyes filled with understanding. You rushed straight to your room, zooming right past Bucky's hoping you wouldn't have to hear anything, curling up into a ball in your bed where you wept under the covers.
Why did you fall for him?
Bucky looked over to Steve who nodded towards the elevators that took you to your floor, the super soldier wasting no time pressing the button to the 4th floor. He was at your door as soon as the elevator dinged open, softly knocking while his stomach continued to churn.
What would you think of him.
Why didn't he just accept his feelings the second he fell in love with those pretty little pink roses?
God you probably hated him now.
Bucky nervously chewed his lip,
"Petal?" Bucky called for you, hoping you'd open the door, his his heart hammering against his chest hearing soft sniffles from the other side of the door. "Petal, can you open the door sweets?"
He heard you continue to softly cry, his body working before his mind could catch up as he let himself into your room. He hated the sight of the little ball buried under a pile of blankets, hiding away from the world with a broken heart because of him. He made his way to your bed, sitting on the edge, petting the blanket gently to let you know he was there.
"Bucky?" You shuffled some of the blanket off, surprised to see him there, what was he doing in your room? Wasn't he spending the night with the girl he'd brought? Why did he look so distraught? You sat up with concern, looking him over to see if he was hurt because why was he here with you when he should be with her?
"Did-did you need something, is everything okay?" You tried to keep you voice steady, quickly wiping away your tears and forcing a smile that didn't quite meet your eyes.
"No sweet girl, everything isn't okay" Bucky whispered, smiling at your confused pout, his hand coming up to brush some of the strands of hair that were near your forehead. He let his hand linger on your cheek, wiping away your wet cheeks with his thumb before sitting closer to you. "Why were you crying"
You averted your eyes as soon as he asked the question, staring at your lap instead, playing with your fingers. Your voice was caught in your throat, shrugging as if you didn't know the answer. Bucky was surprised with himself, equally shy to actually say anything even though he wanted to pour his heart out. With others the smooth talking, the flirting, the boyish smirks came easy.
Not with you.
Not with his little fairy.
"Y/n, please" He tilted your chin to meet his puppy like eyes, hoping you'd understand how he felt without saying anything. His innocent gaze caused your cheeks to heat up, feeling his rough calloused hands touching you so softly. You bit your lip as your hair betrayed you, pink petals starting to decorate your hair.
"What do the little pink roses mean?" He whispered with hope in his voice, his heart aching with need seeing your shy smile, "Please tell me pretty girl. I- I only see them when I'm around you"
"It-it means-" you hesitated, scared this would all come crashing and burning if you told him the truth. Maybe he was just being nice, pausing his date to check on you. Or maybe-Just maybe? "I like you"
Had he not had super hearing Bucky would've missed your near silent whisper. The blush on his cheeks matched the flowers in your hair as he reached out for you, pulling you to his chest.
"C'mere my precious little petal" Bucky cooed, scooping you in his arms. You squeaked in surprised before giggling into his chest, the sound making Bucky's heart swell. "There she is" He smiled against your hair seeing little buds blooming again, the tiny pink roses he loved so much sprouting to life.
"Don't you have a date" You asked hesitantly while Bucky shook his head, holding onto you tighter.
"You should've been my date petal, m'sorry for not telling you how I felt about you earlier. I was scared"
"Scared?" You cupped his scruffy cheek, letting your thumb stroke his beard while he nodded, leaning into your touch.
"Scared I wasn't right for you. It didn't feel right falling in love with someone so precious when you're the complete opposite of me" His confession caused stray tears to slip down your cheeks while Bucky kissed them away. "But I promise, if you'd let me have you, I'd take care of you and love you with my whole heart. I promise I'd never hurt you sweets, I've fallen so hard for you, there's no one else I'd rather be with"
You couldn't help yourself, pulling him down for a kiss, giggling at the surprised squeak he let out before groaning and melting into your sweetness.
"I'm yours Jamie"
Stop here if the fluff was enough. Cause next is their sweet love making.
I know it's not part of the ask but imagine their first night together where Bucky doesn't want to over step so he doesn't make a move. He notices you being more cuddly and shy, burrowing into him when you're in his room and that's when he sees gorgeous deep red roses blooming in your hair. He knows by now how to read your mood based on your flowers but he hadn't seen this before.
"Petal?"
"What is it Buck" You look at him with wide doe eyes, hoping he doesn't feel the the heat you feel radiating through your body. You need him. It's more than just physical; you need him as close as possible in the most intimate way because you adore him so much.
"Your hair sweet girl" He runs his fingers through your hair, stroking the velvety petals making you whine from sensitivity, immediately silencing yourself from embarrassment. "What do you need love, you can tell me"
"Need you closer" You whispered, nuzzling your face into his neck where you could breathe in his cologne and a scent that was distinctly him.
"Closer how baby, you're-" It takes a moment for the pieces to click for Bucky to figure out just how much closer you need him, moving his hands to your hips, rubbing them up and down. "oh. OH. Is that all baby? Need me extra close?"
You nodded with another whine while Bucky moved you to lay against his pillows before slowly undressing you until you were both bare with nothing separating you.
"Bucky please, just-just want you" On any other night, you'd allow him to tease and toy with your body but you needed him so badly, your body throbbing, feeling more empty than ever.
"Shhh, m'here baby, it's okay, breathe for me petal, okay?" He stroked your hair while rubbing his weeping tip through your folds gathering your slick before pressing his cockhead against your entrance, "m'right here"
You both gasped at the feeling of him pushing his length inside, his movements slow until he was buried to the hilt. Your pussy quivered trying to pull him in deeper, tears welling along your lash line as he started to move, hardly pulling out, keeping his cock deep inside you.
"Look at these pretty roses" Bucky whispered against your lips as he rocked his hips, his hands laced with yours while more flowers bloomed, your legs moving to wrap tightly around his waist.
"All-all just for you Bucky" You hiccupped with pleasure between moans feeling a different level of satisfaction with him inside you. You finally felt complete as he moved faster, clinging onto him so you'd feel his full body weight lay on you. "More-I-I need more"
You'd never felt like this before, your powers starting to manifest throughout the room as you grew closer and closer to your orgasm. Dark green stems crawled up the bed posts as he fucked you harder, your gorgeous floral scent sending Bucky into over drive. He was the only one who'd make you feel like this, the only person to ever get to see those dark red petals strewn across his bed.
There was something so intimate knowing no one else would ever get to see you like this, no one else would smell how sweet you were when he drove you mad with pleasure.
All the dark red roses full of love and lust just for him.
"I'll give you more pretty girl" Bucky growled, his own high licking down his spine feeling your pussy tighten around him, begging for him to keep going.
"Don't-please don't stop" you begged, clawing at his back, "I-I'm gonna-"
"Cum baby, cum for me petal, give it to me" He pleaded right back, sweat beading at his forehead, his pace growing sloppy. Your back arched off the bed as he reached to rub your sensitive bud sending your nerves into over drive. "OH BUCKY"
As soon as he felt your pussy clamp around his cock as you cried out in pleasure Bucky moaned loudly, tucking his face into your neck as he spilled into you.
"Take it love, t-take it" He stuttered, trembling as the last of his orgasm dribbled into you. He watched in awe as the deep red petals that previously covered the room disappeared into thin hair, his classic favorite little pink roses decorating your hair once more. Bucky pulled the sheets over you both, holding you to his chest while kissing your forehead at you closed your eyes.
"Sleep tight, petal"
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Unpersoned
Support me this summer on the Clarion Write-A-Thon and help raise money for the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers' Workshop!
My latest Locus Magazine column is "Unpersoned." It's about the implications of putting critical infrastructure into the private, unaccountable hands of tech giants:
https://locusmag.com/2024/07/cory-doctorow-unpersoned/
The column opens with the story of romance writer K Renee, as reported by Madeline Ashby for Wired:
https://www.wired.com/story/what-happens-when-a-romance-author-gets-locked-out-of-google-docs/
Renee is a prolific writer who used Google Docs to compose her books, and share them among early readers for feedback and revisions. Last March, Renee's Google account was locked, and she was no longer able to access ten manuscripts for her unfinished books, totaling over 220,000 words. Google's famously opaque customer service â a mix of indifferently monitored forums, AI chatbots, and buck-passing subcontractors â would not explain to her what rule she had violated, merely that her work had been deemed "inappropriate."
Renee discovered that she wasn't being singled out. Many of her peers had also seen their accounts frozen and their documents locked, and none of them were able to get an explanation out of Google. Renee and her similarly situated victims of Google lockouts were reduced to developing folk-theories of what they had done to be expelled from Google's walled garden; Renee came to believe that she had tripped an anti-spam system by inviting her community of early readers to access the books she was working on.
There's a normal way that these stories resolve themselves: a reporter like Ashby, writing for a widely read publication like Wired, contacts the company and triggers a review by one of the vanishingly small number of people with the authority to undo the determinations of the Kafka-as-a-service systems that underpin the big platforms. The system's victim gets their data back and the company mouths a few empty phrases about how they take something-or-other "very seriously" and so forth.
But in this case, Google broke the script. When Ashby contacted Google about Renee's situation, Google spokesperson Jenny Thomson insisted that the policies for Google accounts were "clear": "we may review and take action on any content that violates our policies." If Renee believed that she'd been wrongly flagged, she could "request an appeal."
But Renee didn't even know what policy she was meant to have broken, and the "appeals" went nowhere.
This is an underappreciated aspect of "software as a service" and "the cloud." As companies from Microsoft to Adobe to Google withdraw the option to use software that runs on your own computer to create files that live on that computer, control over our own lives is quietly slipping away. Sure, it's great to have all your legal documents scanned, encrypted and hosted on GDrive, where they can't be burned up in a house-fire. But if a Google subcontractor decides you've broken some unwritten rule, you can lose access to those docs forever, without appeal or recourse.
That's what happened to "Mark," a San Francisco tech workers whose toddler developed a UTI during the early covid lockdowns. The pediatrician's office told Mark to take a picture of his son's infected penis and transmit it to the practice using a secure medical app. However, Mark's phone was also set up to synch all his pictures to Google Photos (this is a default setting), and when the picture of Mark's son's penis hit Google's cloud, it was automatically scanned and flagged as Child Sex Abuse Material (CSAM, better known as "child porn"):
https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/22/allopathic-risk/#snitches-get-stitches
Without contacting Mark, Google sent a copy of all of his data â searches, emails, photos, cloud files, location history and more â to the SFPD, and then terminated his account. Mark lost his phone number (he was a Google Fi customer), his email archives, all the household and professional files he kept on GDrive, his stored passwords, his two-factor authentication via Google Authenticator, and every photo he'd ever taken of his young son.
The SFPD concluded that Mark hadn't done anything wrong, but it was too late. Google had permanently deleted all of Mark's data. The SFPD had to mail a physical letter to Mark telling him he wasn't in trouble, because he had no email and no phone.
Mark's not the only person this happened to. Writing about Mark for the New York Times, Kashmir Hill described other parents, like a Houston father identified as "Cassio," who also lost their accounts and found themselves blocked from fundamental participation in modern life:
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/21/technology/google-surveillance-toddler-photo.html
Note that in none of these cases did the problem arise from the fact that Google services are advertising-supported, and because these people weren't paying for the product, they were the product. Buying a $800 Pixel phone or paying more than $100/year for a Google Drive account means that you're definitely paying for the product, and you're still the product.
What do we do about this? One answer would be to force the platforms to provide service to users who, in their judgment, might be engaged in fraud, or trafficking in CSAM, or arranging terrorist attacks. This is not my preferred solution, for reasons that I hope are obvious!
We can try to improve the decision-making processes at these giant platforms so that they catch fewer dolphins in their tuna-nets. The "first wave" of content moderation appeals focused on the establishment of oversight and review boards that wronged users could appeal their cases to. The idea was to establish these "paradigm cases" that would clarify the tricky aspects of content moderation decisions, like whether uploading a Nazi atrocity video in order to criticize it violated a rule against showing gore, Nazi paraphernalia, etc.
This hasn't worked very well. A proposal for "second wave" moderation oversight based on arms-length semi-employees at the platforms who gather and report statistics on moderation calls and complaints hasn't gelled either:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/03/12/move-slow-and-fix-things/#second-wave
Both the EU and California have privacy rules that allow users to demand their data back from platforms, but neither has proven very useful (yet) in situations where users have their accounts terminated because they are accused of committing gross violations of platform policy. You can see why this would be: if someone is accused of trafficking in child porn or running a pig-butchering scam, it would be perverse to shut down their account but give them all the data they need to go one committing these crimes elsewhere.
But even where you can invoke the EU's GDPR or California's CCPA to get your data, the platforms deliver that data in the most useless, complex blobs imaginable. For example, I recently used the CCPA to force Mailchimp to give me all the data they held on me. Mailchimp â a division of the monopolist and serial fraudster Intuit â is a favored platform for spammers, and I have been added to thousands of Mailchimp lists that bombard me with unsolicited press pitches and come-ons for scam products.
Mailchimp has spent a decade ignoring calls to allow users to see what mailing lists they've been added to, as a prelude to mass unsubscribing from those lists (for Mailchimp, the fact that spammers can pay it to send spam that users can't easily opt out of is a feature, not a bug). I thought that the CCPA might finally let me see the lists I'm on, but instead, Mailchimp sent me more than 5900 files, scattered through which were the internal serial numbers of the lists my name had been added to â but without the names of those lists any contact information for their owners. I can see that I'm on more than 1,000 mailing lists, but I can't do anything about it.
Mailchimp shows how a rule requiring platforms to furnish data-dumps can be easily subverted, and its conduct goes a long way to explaining why a decade of EU policy requiring these dumps has failed to make a dent in the market power of the Big Tech platforms.
The EU has a new solution to this problem. With its 2024 Digital Markets Act, the EU is requiring platforms to furnish APIs â programmatic ways for rivals to connect to their services. With the DMA, we might finally get something parallel to the cellular industry's "number portability" for other kinds of platforms.
If you've ever changed cellular platforms, you know how smooth this can be. When you get sick of your carrier, you set up an account with a new one and get a one-time code. Then you call your old carrier, endure their pathetic begging not to switch, give them that number and within a short time (sometimes only minutes), your phone is now on the new carrier's network, with your old phone-number intact.
This is a much better answer than forcing platforms to provide service to users whom they judge to be criminals or otherwise undesirable, but the platforms hate it. They say they hate it because it makes them complicit in crimes ("if we have to let an accused fraudster transfer their address book to a rival service, we abet the fraud"), but it's obvious that their objection is really about being forced to reduce the pain of switching to a rival.
There's a superficial reasonableness to the platforms' position, but only until you think about Mark, or K Renee, or the other people who've been "unpersonned" by the platforms with no explanation or appeal.
The platforms have rigged things so that you must have an account with them in order to function, but they also want to have the unilateral right to kick people off their systems. The combination of these demands represents more power than any company should have, and Big Tech has repeatedly demonstrated its unfitness to wield this kind of power.
This week, I lost an argument with my accountants about this. They provide me with my tax forms as links to a Microsoft Cloud file, and I need to have a Microsoft login in order to retrieve these files. This policy â and a prohibition on sending customer files as email attachments â came from their IT team, and it was in response to a requirement imposed by their insurer.
The problem here isn't merely that I must now enter into a contractual arrangement with Microsoft in order to do my taxes. It isn't just that Microsoft's terms of service are ghastly. It's not even that they could change those terms at any time, for example, to ingest my sensitive tax documents in order to train a large language model.
It's that Microsoft â like Google, Apple, Facebook and the other giants â routinely disconnects users for reasons it refuses to explain, and offers no meaningful appeal. Microsoft tells its business customers, "force your clients to get a Microsoft account in order to maintain communications security" but also reserves the right to unilaterally ban those clients from having a Microsoft account.
There are examples of this all over. Google recently flipped a switch so that you can't complete a Google Form without being logged into a Google account. Now, my ability to purse all kinds of matters both consequential and trivial turn on Google's good graces, which can change suddenly and arbitrarily. If I was like Mark, permanently banned from Google, I wouldn't have been able to complete Google Forms this week telling a conference organizer what sized t-shirt I wear, but also telling a friend that I could attend their wedding.
Now, perhaps some people really should be locked out of digital life. Maybe people who traffick in CSAM should be locked out of the cloud. But the entity that should make that determination is a court, not a Big Tech content moderator. It's fine for a platform to decide it doesn't want your business â but it shouldn't be up to the platform to decide that no one should be able to provide you with service.
This is especially salient in light of the chaos caused by Crowdstrike's catastrophic software update last week. Crowdstrike demonstrated what happens to users when a cloud provider accidentally terminates their account, but while we're thinking about reducing the likelihood of such accidents, we should really be thinking about what happens when you get Crowdstruck on purpose.
The wholesale chaos that Windows users and their clients, employees, users and stakeholders underwent last week could have been pieced out retail. It could have come as a court order (either by a US court or a foreign court) to disconnect a user and/or brick their computer. It could have come as an insider attack, undertaken by a vengeful employee, or one who was on the take from criminals or a foreign government. The ability to give anyone in the world a Blue Screen of Death could be a feature and not a bug.
It's not that companies are sadistic. When they mistreat us, it's nothing personal. They've just calculated that it would cost them more to run a good process than our business is worth to them. If they know we can't leave for a competitor, if they know we can't sue them, if they know that a tech rival can't give us a tool to get our data out of their silos, then the expected cost of mistreating us goes down. That makes it economically rational to seek out ever-more trivial sources of income that impose ever-more miserable conditions on us. When we can't leave without paying a very steep price, there's practically a fiduciary duty to find ways to upcharge, downgrade, scam, screw and enshittify us, right up to the point where we're so pissed that we quit.
Google could pay competent decision-makers to review every complaint about an account disconnection, but the cost of employing that large, skilled workforce vastly exceeds their expected lifetime revenue from a user like Mark. The fact that this results in the ruination of Mark's life isn't Google's problem â it's Mark's problem.
The cloud is many things, but most of all, it's a trap. When software is delivered as a service, when your data and the programs you use to read and write it live on computers that you don't control, your switching costs skyrocket. Think of Adobe, which no longer lets you buy programs at all, but instead insists that you run its software via the cloud. Adobe used the fact that you no longer own the tools you rely upon to cancel its Pantone color-matching license. One day, every Adobe customer in the world woke up to discover that the colors in their career-spanning file collections had all turned black, and would remain black until they paid an upcharge:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/28/fade-to-black/#trust-the-process
The cloud allows the companies whose products you rely on to alter the functioning and cost of those products unilaterally. Like mobile apps â which can't be reverse-engineered and modified without risking legal liability â cloud apps are built for enshittification. They are designed to shift power away from users to software companies. An app is just a web-page wrapped in enough IP to make it a felony to add an ad-blocker to it. A cloud app is some Javascript wrapped in enough terms of service clickthroughs to make it a felony to restore old features that the company now wants to upcharge you for.
Google's defenstration of K Renee, Mark and Cassio may have been accidental, but Google's capacity to defenstrate all of us, and the enormous cost we all bear if Google does so, has been carefully engineered into the system. Same goes for Apple, Microsoft, Adobe and anyone else who traps us in their silos. The lesson of the Crowdstrike catastrophe isn't merely that our IT systems are brittle and riddled with single points of failure: it's that these failure-points can be tripped deliberately, and that doing so could be in a company's best interests, no matter how devastating it would be to you or me.
If you'd like an e ssay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/22/degoogled/#kafka-as-a-service
Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg
CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en
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TO FEEL WHOLE AGAIN â BOOTHILL
synopsis: getting pregnant and left by yourself wasnât in your plans in life at all, but you end up meeting a man who becomes more than just a friend whoâs willing to help.
âĽ- pairings : boothill x fem!reader
âĽ- note : so sorry for any inactivity !! life has just been a wreck, but iâm here with a little idea I came up with the other night. i hope you all enjoy <3 reblogs are appreciated !!
content warnings : sfw, fem!reader, ageless + blank blogs dni, pregnancy, abandonment, heavy angst, breakups, mentions of abortion (reader does not have one), mentions of alcohol, human!boothill, angst with happy ending, use of pet names (darling + lovely), fluff, very fluffy things.
You can recall the day you met Boothill like it was the back of your hand.Â
It was the day your life had begun a completely new journey, but also, the same day that your life had completely fallen apart within just twenty four hours. Every memory was ingrained in your brain like it was never meant to go away. How could things end up going right, but so wrong at the same time?
About seven months prior, you found yourself sitting inside of a bar with tears still staining your cheeks from the incident that had occurred just hours beforehand. Your heart had gleamed, but shattered just minutes after. You questioned why something like this had happened to you. You never wronged anybody. Sure, you werenât the most perfect person to exist, but as humans, itâs in their nature to make mistakes. Yet, god had different plans for you and they werenât exactly the most pleasing ones.
Just two days before that day, you had found out you were pregnant.Â
It came by total surprise. You and your boyfriend werenât exactly trying for kids, but you both had been together for four years at that point. You noticed something was off about you when your period suddenly missed its usual day, and you were experiencing some very odd symptoms that were unusual. After some convincing from your friends, you decided to go out and purchase a pregnancy test which came back positive. You didnât know what to feel. You were excited, nervous, emotional, but most of all, anxious. You didnât know how to break the news to your boyfriend and you werenât sure whether or not you wanted to keep it.Â
For a few days, you didnât say anything to him. You werenât the best with words and you didnât want to dump something so sudden onto him either, but he eventually figured it out when he found you one morning throwing up your breakfast into the toilet.Â
He wasnât angry or upset, but you knew something wasnât right with him after he found out. He started to become somewhat distant and he avoided any conversation about the baby growing inside you. Then, that same day you ended up at the bar, you had woken up to him gone. All of his items and personal belongings had been cleaned out, and when you tried to get a hold of him, he just completely ghosted you. You didnât understand. Was it you? Was it the baby? Why did he just up and leave you like that with zero hesitation? It was like your heart had been shattered into pieces and you didnât know what to do. He left you alone and pregnant with his child.Â
Completely brokenhearted and confused, thatâs how you ended up in the bar. No, you werenât drinking any alcohol, but there was a part of you that wanted to head to the clinic and terminate the pregnancy all together. You couldnât raise a baby on your own. You had seen many stories of mothers defying the odds and managing, but would you be able to? You loved your now ex boyfriend more than life itself. You didnât think you could fall in love again, and what man would want a single mother as a girlfriend? Most of them would scurry away the second itâs brought up. It wasnât their job to shame you for whatever choices you made.Â
The bar's atmosphere was buzzing with people chatting amongst themselves. Despite being around people, you still felt completely isolated inside of it. You kept thinking of the choices in your brain over and over again. It was consuming you, and you didnât think you were in the right state of mind to make that decision right now.
You were brought out of your thoughts when the bartender placed a glass in front of you. It was filled with some kind of alcohol that looked like it could be a margarita or a martini. Your brows furrowed at the sight of the beverage. You didnât order it. âU-Um.. sir, I didnât order this.â you pushed the glass towards the man behind the bar who was cleaning some cups used earlier.Â
âI know, but that man over there did.â he pointed towards the other end of the bar.
You turned your attention to where he was motioning his hand. Your eyes widened a little at the sight of the man who sat a few seats away from you. He had a cowboy hat on top of his head, and very long hair that stretched past his chair. He was wearing a white button up shirt that exposed his chest just a little. He noticed you were staring at him and winked at you, then waved a little. It didnât seem creepy or strange, but you didnât know how to react. Despite feeling the way you did, you couldnât help but think how handsome he was. He had a cunning smile and seemed like one of those cowboys you would have heard of in stories you heard when you were younger, but you knew you couldnât accept his drink.Â
Soon enough, you turned away and just pushed your drink from your reach. You didnât want to do anything stupid. If it came off as rude, then so be it. You werenât about to fight with another man this evening.Â
You decided to check your phone. There was a small bit of hope that was in your heart. You hoped that maybe your ex reached out to you to fix things or maybe had something to say, but unfortunately, there was nothing. You had a few random notifications from friends, but otherwise, it was silence on the other end. God, you felt like an idiot. He was gone for good. Men who do that shit typically fall off the face of the earth and never come back again.Â
âHey, sweetheart, mind if I take this spot next to ya?âÂ
You practically jumped out of your skin at the sudden voice that spoke beside you. Your head snapped towards the sound, and you were a bit surprised to see that man who was sitting across the bar now standing next to you. His cologne filled your nose. It smelled of deep wood with a mix of pine.Â
Your words got caught in your throat. Was he doing this to make you uncomfortable? Part of you wanted to ignore him, but he wasnât necessarily doing anything wrong. âN-No! Go ahead.. itâs empty anyway..â you replied, trying to avoid his eyes that were boring holes into your face.
The man plopped beside you, taking a swig of his glass that seemed to be filled with some kind of whisky. He was quiet, at first. You werenât sure if striking up a conversation was in your cards tonight. You were honestly too lost in your thoughts, and somewhat a little nauseated. âSo, uh, do ya come around here often? Youâre quite the peach if I say so myself.â he placed his cheek against his fist which was resting against the table beside him.
âI donât..â you replied, dryly.Â
He seemed a little discouraged by your sudden lack of enthusiasm. It wasnât your intention, but really, you werenât interested. âI see.. my nameâs Boothill.â he said. âYours?â
Your eyes flickered towards him then back at the soda can that your hand was wrapped around. This was starting to feel awkward or almost like a forced conversation. You didnât want to hurt his feelings, but you wanted him to take the hint. â(Y/N)..â you looked at your cell phone to try and avoid him. âLook.. I-I appreciate the drink, but Iâm not really interested in a relationship. I just donât.. I..â
Before you were even able to finish your sentence, tears began to trickle down your cheeks. You didnât even know you were holding them in until they began to slip from your eyes.Â
Boothill was taken back by your sudden tears. He immediately felt guilt wash over him. He didnât mean to come off as a weirdo or forceful towards you. Thatâs the last thing he would ever do. âHey.. Iâm sorry, shit, I didnât mean to make you uncomfortable. I-I can totally take the drink back and get out of your hair.â he stood up out of his chair to leave the bar.Â
You started to wipe your cheeks of any liquid that was on them. âN-No, itâs alright, itâs not you..â you shook your head. âIâve just had a rough couple of hours.. believe me, itâs not you at all.âÂ
The man was unsure of what to reply with. Regardless, he felt very bad for you. Not many people come into bars to weep. Most of the time, they come to do the opposite and use the drinks to numb any negative feelings they have. He didnât want to pry by any means. âI see.. Iâm still sorry, darlinâ I had no idea..â he paused for a moment thinking of what to say next. âIf you wanna talk, Iâm willing to listen, canât guarantee Iâm any good at advice, but I can be an open ear.â
You werenât sure if venting your feelings to a complete stranger would make any difference in how you felt. It's not like he would care much anyway. He would probably look at you with that same look every other person had given you when you told them what your ex did.Â
However, you were completely wrong.
That day you told Boothill everything that had happened to you. He was completely blown away when you confessed that you were pregnant. He kept apologizing for the drink and was somewhat worried that you felt disrespected, but you didnât take any offense. Itâs not like he knew, nor were you even showing at that point.Â
Although he didnât know you, he had a lot of sympathy for you. He told you that your boyfriend wasnât a man, but a young boy who couldnât take responsibility for his actions and he didnât deserve you by any means. Boothill felt as if abandoning a woman and her child was the sickest thing you could ever do in this life, and you couldnât help but agree. Especially after spending many years together.Â
It felt kind of nice to have someone listen. Even if he was some random person you didnât know, there was at least somebody out there who was willing to give you the time of day.Â
You felt a little dull when you realized you would probably never see Boothill again, but you thanked him many times for his patience. He was even sweet enough to walk you back to your apartment which wasnât very far from the bar at all. Typically, you werenât so trusting when it came to men in general, but Boothillâs energy felt secure for some reason. You didnât feel fear or unease around him. Your body would always give you signs someone wasnât good, but you were calm and didnât have a single issue.Â
For a little while, you wondered if keeping the child was the right option, but after a lot of conversations with your friends and family, and oddly enough, Boothill, you decided to go forward with the pregnancy.Â
You thought you would have to do it alone, but that changed almost instantly when you started receiving random items at your doorstep one morning.Â
You had a stable job, but you knew babies werenât a walk in the park financially. Your parents offered to help pay for whatever was necessary, but you felt bad for making them do such a thing. It all started to shift when you discovered a package outside your apartment door. You had a box of different supplies. Baby shampoo, baby bottles, wipes, lotions. It was basic necessities for an infant and you were a bit confused how they showed up there. You questioned your parents but they denied ordering anything of the sorts, so you wondered who gifted it to you.Â
Your friends were also clueless. They had gifts in mind but they werenât planning on purchasing anything that early on in your pregnancy. You hadnât even planned on a baby shower or anything of the sorts.Â
It didnât take long for more things to arrive. One morning, you saw that you had been given some baby toys. They were small and quite cute, but you still had yet to discover who was the one leaving them at your doorstep. You wondered if it was potentially your ex trying to somehow compensate you for deserting you, but would he really? He left you alone with the baby. It was clear enough that he wasnât interested in helping to raise it, so why put in the effort to accommodate you? He could care less about you.Â
It all changed when you were leaving your apartment one afternoon. You had an appointment at the doctorâs office to check on how the baby was doing, and standing right beside your front door was not your ex, but Boothill.
At first, you didnât notice him holding a box of items in his hand, but the realization soon took over that he was the one buying the gifts. You were taken by complete surprise. The two of you had hardly interacted much during that time period, so it did confuse you why he was helping you. He wasnât obligated to just because you informed him of what your ex did. It wasnât like you were begging him for money or assistance either. Boothill was just as surprised to see you there too. He usually would stop by when he knew you wouldnât be around, but he knew sooner or later the truth would come out.
With a flushed face, Boothill began to explain himself.Â
He told you that he just couldnât let you go on that journey alone. He knew it wasnât his responsibility to be buying you things or even being involved in your life like that, but at the same time, he couldnât sleep at night knowing that you were all alone and there wasnât anybody else to be there for you. He did apologize if it made you uncomfortable and he wouldnât come around again if that was the case.Â
However, you told him the opposite. You were very thankful for what he had been doing for you. Not many men would step up and just go out of their way to buy things for a baby that wasnât theirs. You told him you were very appreciative of what he had done, and he could come around as often as he liked. It was kind of lonely being by yourself all of the time. Your friends werenât always the most available, and you lived on your own. It felt nice to know that somebody wanted to spend time with you. He was relieved that you werenât weirded out or upset with his actions. He wanted to do the right thing.Â
Much to his surprise, you invited him to come to your ultrasound that day, and he was thrilled.
Your interactions grew over the course of a few months. You started seeing him everyday and he came around whenever you needed something. Boothill didnât mind spending his days with you. It was a joy to watch your belly grow and to see your baby begin to become larger than it was before. His favorite moments were when heâd feel a small kick or movement. He loved kids. It was a guilty pleasure of his, and he honestly couldnât wait to meet your baby girl. He made so many bets that it was going to be a girl and you thought he would somehow be wrong, but he was right the entire time.Â
Along with the baby's growth, there were also feelings between you and Boothill too. He was the first man in your life since your ex and he treated you so much better. He did everything for you, and the baby wasnât even his. He would spend time helping you tidy up your house, holding your hair away from your face when you had morning sickness, making you tea, giving you massages whenever your body felt sore. Boothill did everything. He even offered at one point to do the entire nursery for you when your due date came closer, but you assured him that it wasnât his duty to do so.Â
But, he planned on doing it anyway.
All of your friends told you to go for it. They said that Boothill was what you needed and they could tell he was into you too, but you were still unsure. If anything, he could be doing all of this just to somehow hurt you in the end or claim you âowedâ him a relationship for doing everything for the baby. You knew that probably wasnât the case, but you were still on the fence.
But, was he?
-
That afternoon, you had woken up from a nap to a knocking coming from your front door. You werenât expecting any guests, but you had already assumed it was Boothill who was there to do his usual drop by to check in on you.Â
You unlocked the front door, pulling it open so he could enter. He was dressed in his usual outfit. A white button shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and those cowboy boots that you had made fun of a few times. Boothill was used to just entering your place at that point. âAfternoon, darlinââ he said, shutting the door behind him.Â
Your hair was a bit messy from your nap and you werenât really dressed up. You wore an oversized t-shirt with a pair of shorts that sat just below your belly. It was a lot more comfortable than the regular pajamas you were used to wearing months ago, but alas, the growth of your body had made those a lot less comfortable these days. Boothill still thought you were gorgeous despite the messy look. âHi..â you yawned. âSorry, Iâm fresh from a nap. I didnât hear my alarm..â
âNot a problem, I was just stopping by to drop something off for you.â he replied, handing you a box that had your name on top of it.
Your eyes flickered from the box to the man who was staring down at you. You were used to him giving you random things for the baby here and there, so you were expecting something that was a necessity. âIâm curious, let me see.â you then began opening at the box to see what was inside of it.
After a few seconds, you pulled out a small blanket, but it wasnât one that was from the store. It was actually homemade, and right in the center was the baby name you had picked out stitched into the fabric with baby pink lace. It was probably the most adorable thing you had ever received from him. It was so soft and you could already picture yourself swaddling your little girl in the blanket itself. The fact that it was homemade as well made it even more special than it already was.Â
You werenât sure if it was the pregnancy emotions or not, but you could feel warm tears burning your eyes. It was truthfully making you feel so happy for this pregnancy, but most of all for Boothill. You couldnât be more blessed with a man like him. âI-I.. I love it..â you sniffled, trying to hide your tears. âItâs so cute..â
Boothill was concerned with your sudden emotions. He didnât mean to make you cry. If anything, he wanted to do something special for you since you were a special person in his life. âAhh.. shit, Iâm sorry, lovely, is it too much?â he asked, nodding his head.Â
You shook your head, laughing in the process to try and halt the tears slipping through your eyes. It was the furthest thing from too much. You adored it. You didnât care if the stitching was a little crooked or if the pink was somewhat bright, it was cute. It had to be one of the best gifts you had ever gotten. âN-No! I love it! Itâs something I wouldnât have imagined youâd give me! Did you do it all on your own?â you looked up at him with an eyebrow raised.
He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. âHaha.. yeah, thatâs why it might seem a little messy. I got the idea though and figured why not? You need something to swaddle that little monster with!â he smiled, which made you smile as well.
Boothill was taken back when he suddenly felt your arms wrap around him. This was the first time you had ever initiated any sort of physical contact with him, and he wasnât sure how to react to it. Your body felt warm and your belly was against his own abdomen. He could smell the scent of your shampoo lingering in your hair, and it almost intoxicated him from how delicious it smelled. He hesitated for a brief moment, then settled his own arms around your waist. It just felt.. so right to be hugging you. He had yearned for quite a while to feel your touch, and now that he had it, he wasnât going to let the opportunity slip through his fingers.
Your cheeks felt hot at the realization that you two were so close. There was so much going through your mind at the moment, and all you craved was him. His presence, his touch, his warmth, anything. It was all you wanted. âBoothill.. I want you there when sheâs born..â you spoke, softly. âI want you by my side.. you deserve that more than anybody else.â
His eyes grew wide at your words. Sure, he knew he was going to visit when your baby was finally born, but in the room? During the birth? Oh, he could faint right about now. âOf course Iâll be there, sugar. You know I wouldnât miss it.â he replied, smiling at the thought of your birth.Â
Boothill then crouched down to meet your belly. He hadnât ever done that before while being with you. You felt his hands touch your stomach, seemingly searching for your little girl who was somewhere in there. It felt so natural for him to be doing this. You didnât feel off or weirded out. You loved the way his fingers explored your skin, touching and grazing at the stretch marks that had formed within time, but what you loved the most, was him.
âCanât wait to meet your little one.. sheâll be a peach, I know it.â he looked up at you with a grin.Â
âOur.. little one.â
Boothill paused when the words slipped from your lips. He thought he had misheard you for a second. âW-What..?â his brows furrowed. âWhat do you mean?â
You felt a little bashful having to repeat yourself. You werenât sure what his reaction might be to you saying such a thing, but you couldnât keep quiet anymore about your feelings. You wanted him involved in your daughterâs life so badly. It would kill you inside if that wasnât the case. âO-Our.. baby, Boothill.â you said, avoiding his gaze that was fixed on you.
He stood up, still staring at your face with a serious expression. It was like his heart had completely blown up inside of his chest. It was like he was falling in love with you all over again at that very moment. He couldnât feel more honored that you thought of him that way. âYouâre serious..?â he questioned, looking into your eyes.Â
âY-Yes.. god, yes, Boothill. I donât care if sheâs not technically yours.. in the end, I want you in her life, and mine too. I canât imagine a life without you..â you whispered, intertwining your fingers with his.
He couldnât hide his wide smile at your confession. All of the love he had swallowed down was now completely overflowing, and he didnât mind whatsoever. You were so beautiful. He adored you so much, and he was more than happy to call you his girlfriend. He was also thrilled to have a daughter. He could care less if people would judge him for raising a child that wasnât his. He was more of a father to her than any other man would be.Â
He suddenly pulled you close to him, pressing a kiss onto your lips. It was so passionate and loving. He couldnât stop himself. It was like he was finally able to have what he wanted, and it felt amazing. âI love you so much, darling, you donât even know how deep my love runs for you..â he pressed his forehead against your own. âIâd die for you and our little angel..â
A grin appeared on your face. This was all you ever wanted to hear. You didnât think you would ever have the opportunity to hear him say such things, but you couldnât be happier it was coming true. âI love you more, Boothill.â you then placed his hand on your belly. âAnd I know she does too..â
The both of you couldnât be more excited at that moment. It was all perfect. You had everything you ever wanted. Neither of you imagined that this life would be in front of you now, but you wouldnât trade it for anything else.
Š NXUVILLETTE â all rights reserved, do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.
#ÂˇË ŕźâ¡ ÍÍÍÍę°âł official work !#boothill x reader#boothill x you#boothill x y/n#boothill fluff#boothill fanfiction#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail x you#star rail x reader#star rail x you#hsr x reader#hsr x you#hsr x y/n#hsr fluff#star rail fluff#honkai star rail fluff#honkai star rail fanfiction#hsr fanfic
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the contradictory dichotomy that is kim dokja's relationship with reality and fiction is totally skewed and it totally makes me see mirrors between the people from both sides of his fourth wall, including himself...
lee sookyung (his mom) <--> tls123 (1863rd han sooyoung) for his sake, both women sacrificed their lives and turned the lives of others into a story to be used for his survival. and yet kim dokja hates one but loves the other. his only means of contact with either woman was through a âwallâ... they also gave up their stories, their lifeblood, for him at one point.
kim dokja's online persona <--> lee gilyoung both are fanatics to their interests (insects and twsa) and idols (funny, cuz it goes like this: lgy -> kdj -> yjh). they both clung to the first thing that'd help them survive and never quite learned to let go. both fiercely defensive of who and what they love...
kim dokja as a child <--> shin yoosung both carry survivor's guilt from their first murder and for taking advantage of people (kdj -> twsa characters; sys -> unnamed extras). both saw themselves as âbadâ for a long time. both connect better to their comfort object (books and animals). both experience disconnected film theory and feel guilty enough from their other selves' actions to volunteer (atone by) suicide.
yoo sangah <--> yoo joonghyuk not my oddest comparison so far, but this still weirds me out. heewon's a close competitor but ysa won out. both are among the staunchest characters in their convictions. both realized they had to adapt to survive. both shed blood usually out of (self-justified) necessity. both are supported by powerhouses. both used one of the âthree ways to surviveâ (reincarnation and regression). both have opposing yet similar deceptive personas (ysa is soft but can be sharp while yjh is cold but hides a warmth). both have chosen to trust kdj despite evidence otherwise. both terrify the rat a lot.
han sooyoung (âplagiaristâ) <--> anna croft anuzzer odd comparison of mine... odder than the last. both are disliked by kdj from the start, but become his temporary and later permanent allies later on. both proclaim to know the future (credibility aside). both leaders of their own groups that ended up disbanding cuz of kdj. both at odds with kdj's protag.
kim dokja's antisociality <--> han donghoon both hide behind the screen. both have a severe distrust of people in general. both are good at reading between the lines. both probably terminally and chronically addicted to their phones.
kim dokja's relatives <--> the dokkaebis both milked kdj for all his worth and more. both tried extorting him (only one of them succeeded). both aired his dirty laundry to the public.
news reporters <--> constellations both are always hungry for stories. âthrill seekersâ and âincarnation seekersâ. both have hounded kdj against his will. some romanticize kdj, others stand quietly by his side, the rest want his head on a pike.
kim dokja towards yoo joonghyuk <--> fourth wall towards kim dokja sometimes pro, sometimes against. both like teasing their partners. both have snark and sass and unabashedly abuse it. both watched over their partner's long and lonely journey.
#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#kim dokja#orv kdj#yoo joonghyuk#han sooyoung#kimcom#yoo sangah#shin yoosung#lee sookyung#fourth wall#parallels#parallelism#lee gilyoung#tls123#dokkaebi#constellations
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URGENT PSA: DELETED GFMS UPDATE- PLEASE READ
the detective hat is screwed on tight gang- i just remembered that the wayback machine exists and have been able to gather some additional information regarding the deleted gfm campaigns for omar, raina, and iman:
all the info is under the cut
---
see the info on the site yourselves by using the following links:
iman: https://www.gofundme.com/f/jhcjrv-help-imans-family-find-safety omar: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-me-to-evacuate-from-the-genocide ran/raina: https://www.gofundme.com/f/displaced-gaza-family-seeks-help-after-war-destroys-lives
my hunch was correct: these campaigns were not formatted in the way gfm requires in order to stay operational. i detailed the common reasons why gfm's may be terminated in a response post to @rubashabansblog but i will include it again here:
ruba- i have figured out the following info from my own research. there are several issues that can result in a gfm being suspended. the biggest issue comes from how the actual campaign is written. the key is being transparent. that means everyone that is benefiting from the campaign must be listed out by name (there may be a rule about specifying any minors/kids' ages as well) + locations. the issue also may be linked to whoever is organizing these campaigns on behalf of these families. another part that needs to be addressed fully is who will be handling the money. essentially if at any point in the transfer of funds someone is responsible for holding the money raised, they need to be listed on the account plainly and on the actual donation page as well. example: person a is organizing this fundraiser on behalf of person b. the last issue i can think of from everything i've read involves keeping an accurate account of the family's expenses. meaning that you need to write down everything that you are spending the money on. since there's no way to print actual receipts- gfm is asking people to write everything down on their notes app with their phones. these notes count as "receipts" and the total amount must always equal the amount the person/people are trying to raise. example: say i am raising $10K to evacuate, but am planning on putting aside $3K for other future living expenses like rent -> all of that needs to be documented fully. basically- as long as goal amounts match up to your expense report- the campaign should be fine. i understand that some families may need to keep raising their goals in order to cover the cost of living before they are able to evacuate. if that is the case- each time they raise/decrease the goal- i believe they need to update their gfm page to address the new total costs for their fundraiser. please forward this information to the affected families when you get the chance đ¤ perhaps this new info can help them solve the problem on their end *edit: another problem i forgot to mention- the currencies must match between the fundraiser and the bank account it is linked to. this means that if the fundraiser is in euros-- the bank tied to the account must also be in a country that uses euros as their primary currency. a US-based bank account would not work if the fundraiser is in euros.
all three campaigns have the same characteristics: not enough info is being disclosed in the fundraisers. another common theme: they are all recently made (may 2024). the decision to evacuate is a painful choice for families to make as none of want to be displaced yet again- but the situation in gaza has prompted many families to make this decision in an attempt to save themselves + their loved ones. the issue is that many of those who are now choosing to make campaigns are not aware of the ins and outs of how to properly start a gfm (+ i'm most certain there are other factors at play as to why this keeps happening to families in desperate need of aid).
this is bound to happen again and again unless this information is being spread widely. which is why i am also asking for this:
please share this w/ anyone who is fluent in arabic that can translate this in its entirety (DO NOT TRY TO USE GOOGLE TRANSLATE). i have a lot of new followers from đľđ¸, some of them with newly made gfm pages that may be at risk of being frozen if they do not correct the issues i've addressed above. this information is vital to ensuring they are able to continue fundraising.
i have seen campaigns launched in june formatted similarly to the three that have been abruptly terminated. obtaining a stable internet connection in gaza requires people to put themselves at greater risk as they travel to locations with a working signal. people have been brutally murdered by just trying to activate the e-sims being sent over. so it makes sense that these newer campaigns made by these families would not have all the necessary info required- as these guidelines may be difficult to obtain on their end/may be worded in a way they cannot understand (you try reading the terms and policies of gfm yourself and tell me how fast your brain shuts off- and you're doing so in the comfort of your own homes. imagine what it's like to do so while facing constant bombardment).
a mutual of mine has already tried to contact gfm on behalf of omar- and they have informed me of gfm's response to their question:
Omar has already contacted them and is apparently in contact with the team according to the person i chatted with. they cannot disclose to me *why* the fundraiser was terminated they said they are working with Omar to solve the issue. if the issue cannot be solved, the money will be refunded to everyone... ^ this "contact" is likely using the same chatbox the rest of us need to use in order to even speak to a representative at gfm one-on-one. a very annoying system, but unless someone has a direct line to gfm- it is our only option.
we need to mobilize right now and put pressure on gfm to give these families the time they need to rework their campaign pages.
through the wayback machine i was able to figure out the organizers for each campaign.
omar is the organizer for his own -> says he is located in vienna but that is in direct conflict w/ the location he says he is in under the fundraiser info (displaced in rafah). i'm unsure if he has a contact in vienna that is actually the one responsible for holding/transferring the money, but this information needs to get to them so they can try to fix the issue ASAP
the other two have beneficiaries listed, but there could be additional problems with how that whole thing is currently set up.
i still do not know the emails for raina/iman's gfm's (and the wayback machine doesn't let you see the contact info on the archived pages đ) but- we can try to mobilize right now for omar. he is absolutely devastated and has lost hope that he will be able to recuperate the money he has already raised. this is not the time for the rest of us to lose faith in his cause.
for anyone interested in helping out- i have laid out all this information so you can question gfm directly. if you come in knowing your stuff, they may be more receptive in their responses than the first initial attempts. please contact me directly if you wish to email on omar's behalf so i can forward you his email linked to the gfm account.
tagging for more reach: @appsa @palms-upturned @malcriada
#not choices#signal boost#đ#sorry for any typos#this is hella long but pls read it all the way through
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Creatures of the night
Poly! Lost Boys x GN! Reader
A/n: It's finally done! I had so much fun writing this! I would love to expand more on this idea. Let me know if you would be interested in that, or if you have any ideas for it. Maybe I'll write something that focuses more on the reader's relationship with the boys next. Also, I tweaked the timeline a bit for the sake of the story. Hope you enjoy!
Word count: 3.4k
Warning: none, I think
Summary: Sam wants to save his brother, so he asks for help from the Frog brothers. What he doesnât anticipate is that they introduce him to you, the person who taught them everything about vampires.
Sam didnât have many choices. Michael had been turned into a bloodsucking creature of the night, and as much as he wanted to help him â not least for his and their motherâs safety â he knew he couldnât do it alone. So he went to the two people he could (hopefully) count on. If someone told him a few days ago that he would turn up on the doorstep of the Frog brothersâ comic book shop for advice on how to terminate vampires, he would have laughed in their face. But alas, here he was.
After listening to every detail about the recent changes in Michaelâs behaviour, not to mention last nightâs events â Nanook attacking his brother, seeing his half faded reflection in the mirror and the levitating act he performed outside Samâs window â they took a moment to take everything in.
âThis is serious, manâ Edgar finally said then he turned to his brother. They exchanged a silent look and nodded before turning back to Sam.
âWeâre gonna take you to someoneâ Alan announced.
âThey taught us everything we know about vampiresâ Edgar explained solemnly.
Sam gulped. If this person is some kind of vampire expert, they could definitely use their help. He didnât want Michael to be killed, but he couldnât stay a bloodsucker either.
âAlright, take me to them.â
-------------
He got suspicious when they turned up at a totally normal looking house, and his apprehension only grew as the Frogs rang the doorbell. He waited with baited breath as a minute passed by without anything happening. Then finally, the door opened. He didnât know what he was expecting. Maybe someone with military style clothing that screamed âtough guyâ â similar to what the Frog brothers tried, and ultimately failed to pull off in his personal opinion â but with big bulging muscles, who could knock out any vampire they saw. Or even a shady character with nervously twitching hands and a conspiratory look in their constantly moving eyes whoâs always looking around for danger. But the person standing at the door was none of that. In fact, they were just⌠a normal person, around his brotherâs age. He shot the Frogs a confused look, but they didnât pay him any attention as they were too busy snapping their heels together and saluting with a unanimous,
âGood morning, boss.â
Their âbossâ leaned against the doorway.
ââSup?â
The reply was so casual, none of the Rambo wannabe bullshit the boys always used. Thatâs it, Sam was even more confused. They came to see this person?
âWe need your help, boss. Seriously confidential businessâ Edgar explained. They nodded and disappeared inside.
âCome on in then.â
You led them up the stairs and into your bedroom for some privacy, then shut the door just in case your Dad left his workroom at the end of the hall. You sat down on your bed, the boys settling down on the carpet. Sam looked around. The bedroom was pretty normal as well, with a bookcase full of horror novels as far as he could see, a bunch of CDs next to a CD player and band posters of the walls. Although he spotted a few comics on the nightstand that looked similar to the ones the Frogs gave him.
âSo,â you rested your arms on your knees and laced your fingers together, glancing between the boys. âWhat is it?â
The brothers turned their heads towards Sam. Youâve been wondering how Edgar and Alan knew him since you first saw them standing in front of your house. His clothes were fashionable, his hair styled. He wasnât exactly the type of person the boys usually hang around.
âHow do you know each other?â he asked instead. Looks like he was thinking along the same lines.
âI used to look after them when they were youngerâ you answered casually.
He blinked before directing his growing exasperation towards the brothers.
âYour babysitter? You brought me to your babysitter?â
âFormerâ Alan added as if that was the biggest problem with this whole situation. Sam let out a frustrated huff.
âAnd how exactly are they supposed to help my brother? Donât tell me that all your knowledge comes from theseâ he waved his hand in the direction of your bookshelves.
âActually, most vampire related media is full of bullshitâ you interjected.
He froze. âHow did youâŚ?â
ââŚknow that your brother was turned into a vampire?â You finished with a smirk. âI know a lot about what goes on in this town. I know who turned your brother and most likely how they did it. I know heâs been googly-eyed about a girl who hangs around a rather questionable crowd. Heâs been acting strange ever since he met her, right?â
Sam just gaped, not knowing what to say before shutting him mouth and nodding. You gave an understanding nod in return.
âIs he fully turned?â
When a confused frown appeared on his face you added, âHas he taken any blood? Killed someone?â
âNo, I donât think so. Heâs a jerk, but he couldnât kill anyone.â
You smiled at the sibling banter. âThen heâs only half. The way things stand now, there are two options for your brother. One, he eventually loses the fight against the bloodlust and ends someoneâs life, becoming a full-fledged vampire. Or two, you find the head vampire and kill him. That way, every half-vampire that was turned using his blood will become human again.â
Silence fell on the room as they mulled over what they just heard. It was Edgar who spoke up at last.
âThen we have to find the head vampire. Do you have any ideas who it is?â he turned to Sam.
âMaybeâ he hesitated. âBut Iâm not sure.â
You reached across to your nightstand, grabbing one of the comics lying there and handing it to them.
âThis might give you some ideas.â
Sam took the comic into his hands, eyeing it skeptically.
âDidnât you say that most vampire related media is full of bullshit?â
âNot this oneâ you reassured him.
âHow do you know?â
A smile tugged at the corner of your mouth. âMy dad writes them.â
You thoroughly enjoyed the surprised look on his face before he opened it and turned a few pages.
âHounds of Hellâ he read aloud before glancing back at you. You could already see the gears turning in his head, a thought forming behind his eyes, something akin to recognition, but not fully there yet.
âThank you. Letâs go guys, we have to make a planâ he gestured to the other two then rushed out the door. Edgar and Alan hurriedly got to their feet, and with a quick goodbye they ran after their friend.
------------
They failed massively. Sam was so sure about Max being the head vampire, however he passed all their tests. And above that, his mom got mad at him for ruining her date night. Again. But now they were getting ready to head to the hideout of the group that turned Michael. The Frogs reassured him that theyâre coming armed with stakes and other weapons to kill the head vampire. Meanwhile, Michael can go and rescue his girlfriend. One thing was for sure: this time they were finishing the job.
-------------
You let out a shaky breath as you put down the phone. You just received a call from Alan, telling you that they are going to the vampire hideout. They planned to kill off who they thought was the head vampire. They wanted to let you know in case anything happened to them. You were cursing out loud while you shrugged on your coat in a hurry and ran out the door. This isnât how things were supposed to play out. They were blindly walking into a den of wolves, having no idea what they were up against. This situation could only result in someone getting hurt. All you could hope was that you got there in time, before they did something stupid and irreversible.
--------------
Edgar and Alan led the way down the stairs and into the cave. It had a bunch of warning signs, and looked like it has been abandoned for decades. However, as they entered the gaping mouth into the darkness, they arrived into a space that resembled a hotel lobby, albeit all messed up and crumbled, but still in a pretty good shape. It would have been a very cool hideout, Sam thought, if it didnât belong to a bunch of nightcrawlers. It was sure as hell that this place was lived in.
He helped Michael get down the sloping entrance, just as the Frogs discovered Star sleeping in one of the corners.
âDonât you touch her! You stay away from her!â His brother could barely stand on his own two feet, yet he scrambled over to the girl.
âThe rest of them are gotta be around here someplace. Letâs find them.â Edgar motioned for Alan.
âI canât let you do thatâ came a voice from behind then. Startled, they turned around. There you stood near the mouth of the cave, your form half in the shadows. âI canât let you kill them.â
âWhy not? They are bloodsucking monsters!â
You stepped forward, shaking your head.
âMy answer is still no. Take the girl and the little boy, then leave. They will go after you to try and bring them back, and youâll probably have to fight them. But you canât kill them here and now.â
Sam looked over to the Frogs and couldnât believe his eyes when they seemed to hesitate.
âNo! This is crazy! We have to end them now. This is our best chance while itâs still daylight. Come on, guys.â
âYou canât kill them all at once. Not like this. Youâll need a more solid plan for that than a few wooden stakes. If you end one of them now, theyâre gonna come for you with even more vengeance. They know this place like the back of their hand, and you donât. Thereâs a high chance you wonât even make it out of this cave alive.â
It certainly made sense. The more Sam thought about it, the more ill-prepared this all seemed. If they are really such bloodthirsty killers like Michael told him, maybe it was better to rethink their strategy instead of just rushing headfirst into a dark cave full of dangerous vampires.
He was still a little disappointed they couldnât just end it here and now, but as he turned to the Frog brothers, he saw it in their eyes that they cracked. They will follow what their âbossâ told them to do.
âAlright. What do we do?â he sighed.
âLetâs regroup somewhere safe. Then we can come up with a plan for tonight. As soon as they discover you took those two, theyâll come after you. That only leaves a couple of hours to prepare for an attack.â
âWe can go back to ours, fortify the house.â You and Sam exchanged a serious look as you nodded.
âSounds good. Letâs get going.â
The boys helped Michael carry Star and Laddie, as he was rapidly losing strength. When they passed you on the way out, Sam was sure he heard you let out a relieved sigh. He guessed you were worried about Edgar and Alan running into danger. You certainly looked like you cared about them. Shortly after they got up to the car, you also joined them. They didnât question what took you so long, they didnât have to know about the note left behind.
As you got into the driverâs seat â seeing as Michael was in no shape to drive â Sam wondered about how lucky they were to have you on their side. Someone with knowledge about vampires, who could also be the voice of reason if need be. It could have ended a lot worse if they got into a fight with those bloodsuckers in the tight corridors of the cave.
-------------
It was over. The last few hours have been a flurry of rushed preparations that morphed into total chaos as the vampires came. Sam was still reeling from all the running and fighting and screaming, the feeling of victory as they took down all of them, followed by the chilling panic as Max made his appearance, finally showing his true face. But it was over now.
His mom and Michael were hugging him, Star was hugging Laddie, and he could have sworn he heard the Frog brothers saying something about charging them for this, but he honestly couldnât care less. Grandpa made his way into the kitchen, opening a beer and grumbling about all the damn vampires in Santa Carla.
They were all too busy with relief to notice you standing back, anxiously gnawing at your lips, waiting, listening for any sound from other parts of the house. Then a groan came from the workshop, and a smile spread on your face.
Everyone else jumped, the Emersons huddled together with Grandpa peeking out from the kitchen. Michael drew Star closer to him, Laddie clinging to her other hand. The Frog brothers were on their feet in an instant, taking up some improvised fighting stances. All staring cautiously towards the workshop, they collectively almost had a heart attack as they watched David sit up on the table with another grunt. After some struggling he slipped off the horns piercing through him with a sickening wet sound. He cracked his neck and let out a satisfied sound from deep in his chest. The puncture wounds on his torso already started to heal. They frantically turned around as more footsteps were heard approaching from different parts of the house. Sam looked at his brother in a panic. How is this possible? They were sure they killed them. He saw Michael tense up. He was pulling what little energy he had left together and getting ready for another fight. The problem was, he turned back into a human as Max died. They probably wouldnât be able to fight them off in the state they were in, tired and bruised.
The rest of Davidâs gang emerged, a little worse for wear but healing rapidly.
âLook out!â came Alanâs frantic voice when he saw the three vampires approach you from behind.
âYou okay, babe? Hope we werenât too rough on ya.â As Paul sneaked an arm around your waist and pulled you into his side, you leaned into him.
Everyone just stared at you in dumbfounded silence. Davidâs footsteps thudded loudly as he circled around their group and stood beside you and his brothers. Without even looking, you laced you fingers together with his. It seemed so natural. Thatâs what went through Michaelâs mind as he watched the little show of affection between you and the vampires. This didnât happen yesterday, this has been an ongoing thing for a while.
Alan was the first to voice what everyone was wondering.
âHow is this possible? We killed youâ he pointed an accusatory finger at the bloodsuckers.
âThatâs gonna stay our secretâ you stated. âI might have taught you everything you know about vampires, but I didnât teach you everything I know.â
âSo you were with them all along?â Sam asked in disbelief.
âOf course I was. How do you think I know so much about the creatures of the night?â
âBoss⌠you really betrayed us for the enemy?â Edgarâs voice sounded so hurt it almost broke your heart.
âMax was the enemy.â Your matter-of-fact tone did nothing to ease the situation. In fact, it only made the boys angrier.
âBut they hurt people!â Alan shouted. Dwayne took a step forward and Marko let out a low growl at his raised voice. You quickly let go of Davidâs hand and gently put it on Dwayneâs arm. You made sure to give Marko a reassuring glance as well before continuing.
âYou donât have to agree with my actions. I love them, and thatâs enough for me.â You turned toward Michael. âAt least thatâs something I think you can understand.â
He gave you a silent nod as he held Star closer to his side.
âFor what?â Sam mumbled. âYou put your friends in dangerâ he motioned to the Frog brothers, his voice rising in volume, âbut for what? What was the point of this whole thing?â
âFirst of all, they were never in any real danger. Except when you planned to ambush David and the others in the cave. That could have ended really badly.â
âThey planned to do what?!â Marko almost lunged at them again, but Paul held him back.
âCome on, bud. It wonât do any good, if we kill them nowâ he tried to reason with him.
âTo hell with that! We were holding back all the while they tried to kill us multiple times. Tried to ambush us! I say we finish them now.â
Davidâs cool voice broke through the argument.
âAs much as Iâd like to do that, youâre forgetting the fact that they are Y/Nâs friends. They asked us not to hurt them.â
Marko seemingly realized his mistake, glanced at you and hung his head. He let out a sigh.
âIâm sorry, sugarâ he mumbled.
âIs that true?â It was Edgar who spoke up this time. He was looking at you intensely. âYou told them not to hurt us?â
You nodded.
âThey were never going to kill you, they just had to make it believable. Like I said, Max was the enemy. We knew he planned to turn Michaelâs family, and we saw an opportunity. You wanted to turn your brother backâ you turned to Sam, âand the boys wanted Max gone. Our problem was one and the same. And now everyone got what they wanted.â
âYou pointed us towards Max. With the comicâ Sam realized.
You nodded again.
âThings didnât exactly go according to plan, but it turned out fine in the end. I knew Max would come out of hiding if the boys were in danger. So I left them a note in the cave about the change of plans. Max was smart. We had to make it look like they died for him to appear.â
You could tell your explanation didnât exactly placate them, tensions were still high, but that was okay. You anticipated their anger. You didnât mind it so long as everyone was alive.
âIf you would excuse us, this has been a long night. Me and my boys will leave you to be.â
You sent a sad smile towards Edgar and Alan as you walked past them. You could tell they still had some things they wanted to say, but decided not to, at least not now. It really has been a long night, and everyone just wanted it to end already. Your departure was followed by a long silence as they were trying to make sense of everything. Eventually, Grandpa spoke up.
âThose damn vampires, Iâm telling ya.â He just shook his head and headed for his workshop.
You were also silent on your way back to the cave. Paul nudged your arm.
âYou okay, babe?â he asked with a hint of worry on his handsome face.
âYeah, Iâm fineâ you sighed. âI just hope I didnât ruin my friendships.â
âThey will come aroundâ he reassured you. âAnd if they donât, you still have usâ he sent you a cheeky smile.
The corner of your lips finally turned upright.
âThank youâ you whispered as you leaned into him more.
âDonât mention it, dollface.â
You looked over at your lovers, resting your gaze on all their faces for a long moment. You were just happy they were all okay.
#the lost boys 1987#tlb 1987#the lost boys x reader#the lost boys paul#the lost boys marko#the lost boys david#the lost boys dwayne#tlb marko#tlb paul#tlb dwayne#tlb david
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What about Felix and famous!reader????
pairing: joao felix x formula one driver reader summary: you're a famous formula one driver with a footballer boyfriend who's almost as famous warnings: none! some cringey couple things here and there though so be warned ...
a/n: ANON YOUR MINDD OMGG - also hope you don't mind that i made reader a formula one driver bc i think the dynamic would fit hehe also ?? first request ever AND first headcanon-style post? look at me go
a little backstory ...
⌠It all starts at an airport - you and your team making your way to the next race whilst he and Barcelona are travelling home. Just as youâre walking through the airport terminal you manage to lock eyes with him for a split second, the sides of his lips curling into a smile. You feel yourself blush and stop in your tracks before being ushered along by your manager. You don't know it then, but the mysterious boy had also turned around to catch one last glimpse of you before your figure disappeared through the terminal gates. At least, as much of a glimpse as he could get before his teammates caught on with jeering whistles and teasing remarks.
⌠Itâs just your luck that a couple of fans who had been waiting for either of your teams caught a couple clips of this moment and post it online - and it becomes the ultimate content for edits, shipping conspiracies, and videos.Â
⌠From there on, things blow up. Clips of you watching his games or shots of him with your instagram posts open on his phone go viral amongst a flurry of dating rumours.Â
⌠You first connect over these silly videos, but once you actually get to know each other you realise thereâs actual chemistry between you two and eventually start dating - which you accidentally announce to the world after Joao scores a goal and points up to you in the stands (needless to say the internet was very happy that night)Â
⌠On attending his games - him always insisting you have the best view (especially of him), enough tickets for anyone you want to bring, and every single one of his jerseys to wearÂ
⌠And vice versa, him attending your races and just being so supportive of you - he never wants you to feel like youâre just a wag, and is always sure to elevate your own success and achievements over your relationshipÂ
⌠Always wearing your merch, sharing your posts about your recent wins in races, his instagram has just become a fanpage for you at this point - and heâs totally not complaining Â
⌠Football fans finding out about you through him (âWait Joao Felixâs partner is like some athlete? I thought they were just a wag lol theyâre actually coolâ) and Formula One fans finding out about him through you (âYou mean to tell me Joao Felix as in y/nâs boyfriend actually does stuff and isnât just their trophy boyfriend???â)Â
⌠With that being said, your relationship does involve some long-distance periods because of both of your professions but both of you put in so much effort that it works. Though itâs not easy, he definitely makes up for it whenever you two do get to meet up by spoiling you rotten and spending as much time with you as possible.Â
⌠Him CONSTANTLY getting teased by the team, but never learning his lesson and continues to bring you up at every single opportunity (he canât help it, heâs just so proud of you :(( )Â
âDude, cmon.â Pedri huffs as another one of Joaoâs shots rebound off of the goal post during a cold morning training. âHey cut him some slack, heâs probably thinking about his partner,â Gaviâs tone is teasing as he says this, poking at Joaoâs sides as the taller boy snarls in response. Even so, he canât help but smile a little at the mention of you. âCan you blame me? Did you guys see them last night? They were amazing, I mean Their overtakes were amazing and going from P10 to P3 is insa-â he begins, but is cut off by the groans of his teammates around him who all go off to train on their own. He doesnât mind though, since heâs the one whoâs lucky to have a partner worth bragging about.
⌠Is quite possessive and protective, not because he doesnât trust you to be loyal or take care of yourself but because he knows what kinds of dangers being famous can pose and he wants to be able to help you through them.Â
⌠Whenever you attend award ceremonies together his hand never leaves your waist, partially because he feels a little awkward without you (introvert bf things) but also because he just likes the feeling of having you close to him at all timesÂ
⌠OMG you guys have such a Barbie and Ken dynamic - esp that one audio thatâs like âBarbie has a great day every day, but Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him.âÂ
⌠Overall you guys are generally adored by everyone, as much as Felix gets teased by his teammates, fans, and media outlets alike <33Â
And a little something extra for my formula one / football girlies - I present to you: Carlos the Madridista reacting to you dating a Barcelona playerÂ
âNo, I will not have this.â Carlos throws his hands up in frustration as he begins to walk away from you two. Itâs Joaoâs first time visiting you on the grid since youâve âofficiallyâ announced your relationship, and you wanted to introduce him to someone you considered a big brother. Only thing was, you had forgotten how deep the rivalry between the team Carlos supported, Real Madrid, and your boyfriendâs team ran. âCarlos, please,â you sound exasperated but in reality youâre trying to hold back laughter at how dramatic his reaction is. âYou didnât tell me your boyfriend was a Barcelona player?â âWhat does it matter?â âHow could you?!â Carlos exclaims, his voice making it clear how betrayed he feels at your decision. Next to you, your boyfriend tenses up - you can tell how nervous he is to be meeting your group of friends and so you take his hand in yours, giving it a comforting squeeze. Even so, this entire situation is hilarious to you. âOh get over yourself,â you huff. Eventually, you manage to get the two of them to sit down and have a proper man-to-man conversation in which they realise they have more in common than they think - the most obvious being both of them caring for you which they seem to have no problem bonding over. Needless to say, Carlosâ hatred of the opposing club mightâve lessened a little that day.Â
#formula one/football#formula one football crossover#football fanfic#football fluff#joao felix#joao felix fanfic#joao felix x reader#joao felix x you#joao felix fluff#joao felix fic#joao felix headcanons#purinfelix#jet writes â
#jet answers â§
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So. On the topic of Alastor headcannons. What's your opinion on these radio themed ones:
Alastor has an internal radio. Like the concept of having songs play through your head, but more literal. He can tune to stations as if he was a radio himself. And if he really wants to, he can connect himself to other radios in his immediate vicinity and play that music though them instead.
His antlers help his radio powers. So when they get damaged (in battle, sheds them, whatever reason you wanna put here) his internal radio goes bazerk. Think; flipping stations randomly, connecting to other radios when he doesn't want it to, playing loud static at random. All the chaos.
He can hear through other radios. He once had to listen to Vox playing Barbie Girl through a TV right next to a radio in Vox's studio, for a week straight. Surely enough; Barbie Girl is now banned from all radio stations in hell.
What do you think? I got more like these if you like them. Give me a generic topic and I can probably list several under that category.
OHH RADIO HEASCANONS
Yes, but he also can turn it on and off when he needs
Never thought about it, but it's funny (don't think i'm going to use it anywhere but who knows, maybe i'll make some funzies with that)
Pretty much used it in one my comic slihdsdkjfh +headcanon that Vox taught him that, he also can control when and which radio he wants to listen (or his head would be a horrible mess) ut i like headcanon that he has some songs banned on the radio lol
speaking of other radiostations, i actually made an instruction on How To get Your Own Radio Station In Hell, let me just find it real quick... i wanted to share it long ago, but couldn't find a moment
Imagine you're a normal sinner in hell, who suddenly wants to become radio host for one small station. and it's possible! and you won't even die, and get some benefits, if succeed. So, it's kinda hard, but doable
1. You need to write a letter asking for a permission to have your own station to The Radio Demon himself. a) letter should be handwritten, and your handwriting must be at least readable. Or you can use typewriter, if you find one. DO NOT write it on a computer and then print, you'll probably won't be able to get your station in following 50 years b) You should send your letter via post. DO NOT try to meet Radio Demon in person, you'll just lose time, or even if you get lucky, he won't take your letter. b*) Now you can just come to Hazbin Hotel and give your letter to Charlie Morningstar and ask her to give it to Radio Demon. Don't worry, she won't read it. b**) You should leave your contacts, that's obligatory if you want to get an answer - that means you have to have a place to live. c) Do not try to e-mail him, he doesn't even have a phone or computer to receive it. If someone gives you 100% totally real Radio Demon's e-mail - don't trust them, its fake 2. You'll get answer from the Radio Demon in 1-2 weeks, he'll send you set of papers which you have to fill out. You'll probably have to do it 3-4 times so don't worry, he's just testing your dedication. In these papers you give general info about your future radio station - the name, schedule, what activities you'll gonna have and what kinds of music wanna play. Include some jazz, especially if you mostly want to have modern music. You'll also have to tell a bit about yourself. You absolutely should not be connected to voxtech in any way. 2.b) he may simply dislike your ass and become a real bureaucratic monster. Keep trying - you can impress him with you dedication and he may like you in the end 3. When you got your application approved, you'll have to sign a contract, that gives you right to broadcast on a certain radio frequency. According to the contract - your radio station belongs to the Radio Demon, you'll just getting it in unlimited use, until the contract terminated. You DO NOT sell your soul to the Radio Demon. He can broadcast over you any time he needs and you can't do anything about it. He can also ask you to change something in your broadcast schedule, ask to replace of cancel any of your programs, ban music and so on. (Tho, he probably won't do anything of it). But since your radio station is his property, you're as well under his protection while you on your station, so if someone attacks you and you're unable to protect yourself and your station, you'll have a way to contact him and ask for help. You'll have a specific channel for it and list of morse codes for emergencies. You should not use this channel for anything else, or you'll lose your station. 4. After all paperwork is done and approved, you have to get equipment for your station. DO NOT use ANYTHING voxtech related, and you absolutely cannot have TV on your station. 5. After you got all the equipment, invite the Radio Demon to your station. He'll set everything up for you and give you list of emergency codes. Do not try to interrupt his infodumps even if you lost track of it and can't understand shit, it's better if you show enthusiasm. 6. And done! Now you are happy small radio host! The Radio Demon may show up on your station sometimes to check how everything's going, but don't worry about it, he won't be bother you too often after few weeks.
P. S. You are NOT friends with the Radio Demon, even if he acts friendly and calls you "dear" - that's just his normal, not-threatenning behavior P. P. S. Don't be too personal, don't dump on him your problems if they aren't related to the station when he comes to you. Just make him some coffee, talk about weather and tell that everything works just fine P. P. P. S. ABSOLUTELY! DO NOT! TRY TO HUG HIM! He'll just laugh at you, and if you somehow succeed he'll make everything to make you regret every action in your life and afterlife that led you to this moment (and it doesn't necessarily means he will torture you physically, once he run into masacistic freak that got a boner when was tortured) P. P. P. P. S. If you caught feelings for him - suffer in silence and NEVER try to confess. You'll lose your station immediately and will never get it back.
All these instructions are totally written by Rosie who heared so many complaints from Alastor about how people want to become a radio host but can't do it properly
And Alastor is probably making them experience what he went through to become a radio host in life
GOD, TUMBLR WHY UR SUCH AN ASS TODAY WTF LET ME JUST POST MY SILLY TEXT
#hazbin hotel#sudden ask lol#hazbin#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor the radio demon#the radio demon#radio demon#hazbin headcanons#my main hazbin headcanon (ef)
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michelle's buddie fic recs: week 34
another week, another list of some highlights from my ao3 history!
this is a mix of fics with all ratings, so some include NSFW content. please take a look at both the ratings and the fic tags before reading!
if you come across something you like in this list, remember to show some love to the author by leaving kudos and a comment!
but, baby, watching you blush | calvingseason | 10.1k | T
buck and eddie go to hershey for buck's high school reunion. the only problem? everyone thinks that they're married.
i love a good fake dating fic and eddie bitching at the buckley parents is always a treat!
encounters closer and closer | lecornergirl/@clusterbuck | 2.6k | T
a group of friends asks the question what's the deal with buckley and diaz?
i love text fics! and outsider povs! this is the best of both worlds!
keep holding on | inell/@inell | 3.2k | T
When a rescue goes wrong, Buck and Eddie find themselves in danger and feelings get admitted.
this is both incredibly vivid and sweet and buddie but also gives gerrard exactly what he deserves <3
locks of love | Tea_gremlin/@medieval-tea-gremlin | 1.5k | T
Buck's hair through the years, but maybe it's not really about that.
buck's hair is something that can be so special <3 loved reading this little look at buck through the years and through haircuts!
made your mark on me (a golden tattoo) | thatbuddie (talktothesky)/@thatbuddie | 15k | T
Buck and Eddie keep getting matching tattoos, and then discover that maybe everyone is right when they think it means something more.
this has been on my marked for later list for ages and i finally got around to it. did not disappoint in the slightest!! the dinosaur tattoos are my favourite <3 but also the compass!!
terminal curiosity | circuslife | 15.5k | E
Eddie walks in on Buck hooking up with a guy from Grindr. He's really normal about it.
i love the way the buddie interactions are written in this fic and the firehouse/bombero chats are so great!! eddie being Totally Normal about things is my favourite <3
there's an indentation in the shape of you | mi1kc0ffee | 5.1k | E
Eddie has never been fingered before. Buck thinks that is just unacceptable.
i'm so here for any and all fics that include eddie just completely falling apart in both good and bad ways. this did it in a very very good way <3
when things fall into place | woodchoc_magnum/@woodchoc-magnum | 22k | M
In which Eddie asks Buck to move in with them during lockdown to help look after Christopher, which leads to certain unresolved feelings being resolved.
i love the idea of buck moving in with eddie during the pandemic instead of vice versa! and the pedicure bit is so good. lovely fic!!
#sorry i couldn't find everyone on tumblr this time!#if you wrote one of these and aren't currently tagged lmk and i'll edit this <3#buddie#buddie fic#buddie fic rec#911 abc#911 fic#911 fic rec#michelleâs recs#fic rec list
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Really contemplating the possibilities of yandere Vox but you meet him as his employee
--"this could've been an email" but it's your yandere boss constantly forcing you into unnecessary company Zoom calls which may not be occasionally just the two of you and he may or may not try and make himself look more cool/handsome with some sort of dumb filter or trick of his (and also your coworkers can kinda lowkey tell why they're suddenly getting pulled into calls where your boss is making them cringe trying to make your oblivious ass laugh or something and they all kinda hate you for making their jobs more annoying actually đ
so then you have Vox potentially being a shoulder to cry on if people are being mean to you--)
Actually, about that office bullying.... something like... you overhear your coworkers in another room or around a corner or something talking shit and making fun of you to the point you start to cry and you turn around and Vox is there watching you totally about to boo hoo baby sob and you like, have to borderline run away from him because you're crying and you're hurting and just want to get away from everyone, but you also don't want to embarrass yourself and make some sort of scene where they'll mock you even more, so you're just, excusing yourself in tears, not even talking to Vox, not even confronting the others.
Here's Vox, just ever so casually popping his head into the room where your coworkers are still mocking you, "hey you guys? :) you're fired! :D and also? Since I own your souls, how about you do as I say aaaaaand go tell Valentino he's allowed to shoot you?" and Vox then goes to comfort you and says the gunshots are "like, a trespasser or something, it's so weird, so, um, anyways, I was thinking maybe you and I could--"
--VoxTek already having or suddenly installing crazy biometric surveillance state level equipment all over their portion of the tower, which includes a security camera in every office/workspace (which of course means there's ESPECIALLY one in yours). This man would be all but drooling over your retina scans, talking about how gorgeous your eyes are, all counting every pore or hair or scale you have on your face in extreme up close detail
--One on one training where if you mention even the slightest interest in something, he's completely indulging you or at least hearing you out. You wanna learn something coding-related? You wanna learn about music production? Oh, you say you have a product idea? And an idea for a commercial for it too? And if you're actually GOOD? If you, at the very least, give him solid ideas to build off of? Now you're getting an even bigger promotion to, say, his executive creator director or something! Maybe he'll invent some new position just for you and absolutely no one in the company will tell you about it because they're threatened with something much much worse than termination if they do
He does want his boo to feel important and special đĽşâ¤ď¸ like he's a grown man from the 50s, he's older than you no matter what, but especially he's kinda coddling you a little if you're in your 20s or especially young like 18, he's got major cute aggression for you
--You're just in the company break room trying to enjoy your lunch and.... why is the head of the company in here with the normies? Oh, of course it's to sit with you. I can't help but think he probably eats a really shitty, processed, kinda typical modern gamer diet despite having the money to indulge himself, probably does on occasion, but, I can really see him appreciating a home cooked meal and ESPECIALLY if it's by you.
D'ya.... d'ya think he'd just... stick his fork in your lunch... and you wouldn't feel like you could say anything because He's A Fucking Overlord
--Imagine you've been employed like MONTHS before he becomes aware of your presence as an employee and, you started as a barely paid intern or, something real low level, SO low level that, Vox doesn't actually own your soul. So. After several MORE months of buttering you up, really giving you some good raises, some absolutely AMAZING fun times, he's dropping the bomb on you: everyone else at the company has their soul signed over, and you're the only one, and, honey, it's kind of company policy, so--
When I say I would love the idea of Employee Reader just IMMEDIATELY "w wait you wanna... What the fuck do you mean you wanna 'own my soul', why, why the fuck would you-- you know what, nah, I'm, I quit? I quit." And you're literally fleeing the fucking room, potentially having to jump out a window in case Vox has some sort of, lockdown defense mechanism, maybe one to keep angels out, but, you escape, and next thing Vox hears?
"Wait, what do you fucking MEAN 'THEY'RE A SOUND MIXER FOR THE RADIO DEMON NOW'--"
#alastor can mix on my sound til i *static noise sound effect*#yandere x reader#vox x reader#yandere hazbin hotel#hh#sinprompts
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Dude, get a restraining order
(Prompt) (Ao3 link)
(The results from the poll have arrived!! You have chosen unintentional Yandere Damian! )
Danny had a feeling the next several months were going to suck. Out of everyone in his school, he'd been the one picked for the whole "Transfer student," nonsense. With his reputation, you'd think he'd be the last person you'd want to show off out of state.
Regardless, Danny was chosen, and now he was on a plane headed to New Jersey Gotham. "The City of Crime" sounds like a blast and a half. All the rouges and criminals that wouldn't be his problem to deal with. It seemed like heaven in theory, but Danny knew with his luck he'd be getting mugged left, right, and center.
Pressing his face against the window, Danny allowed his mind to wander. To the portal, the friends who wouldn't be here to support him, to the ghosts who didn't want to kill him. Dani and Val were going to pick up the slack back home but that wouldn't help with the rumors no doubt going around about Phantom's disappearance. He could only hope he still had a secret identity when he got home.
Maybe if he did crime against the local vigilantes he'd get sent home early...
No, the rouges and local criminals did that on a daily basis they wouldn't crack from a little trolling. Or maybe they would? Then again, Red Hood used guns and the current Robin ran around with a real ass god-damn sword so trolling was a bad idea.
In all honesty, Robin was intimidating even with the little information he had about him. All he had were blurry, articles from various news outlets and attempted interviews with some ridiculously persistent reporter. Robin sounded more cryptic than he was! The entire concept of a teenager his age manifesting out of the shadows and chasing him with a katana would forever be his biggest concern during his stay in Gotham.
When the plane touched down Danny was left in a busy airport terminal. Vague instructions from his teachers and chatter from the employees trying to get him out onto the street as soon as possible were all he had to go off right now. Also, a brochure that he was 90% sure was all bullshit.
Gotham's air felt closer to smoke than it was anything breathable. Burning his nostrils, a scent of gas and cigarette smoke pretty much engulfed the city. It was so bad the second he took a breath, his core jolted, snapping into gear, not allowing anything to enter his lungs before it filtered. He'd never been so glad about dying until now, and never had he ever been as impressed in a population as he was now.
Danny had only been here for ten minutes or so but he'd already come to the conclusion that Gothamites were as metal as amity parkers. Wandering through the city, Danny tried to keep his face neutral. Not a smile or the slightest tell that he wasn't from here. He'd rather not get mugged before he reached his apartment. Though, maybe a fatal injury would get him sent home early.
Looking down at the map on his phone, Danny drew closer to the apartment building he'd been assigned to stay at. Supposedly, it was closer to the rich kid school he'd be temporarily attending. Why they decided it was okay for a teenager to live by himself in Gotham was a complete and total mystery. He could only hope he wouldn't die a second time during his stay.
Getting the key from the front desk was a much easier process than he'd thought It'd be. But it could never be quick enough. His suitcases were heavy!! And he was so very very tired. When he got into his apartment he tossed his suitcases onto the floor, inspecting the place he'd be staying for the next few months. It pretty good setup, a bathroom with a combined bath and shower, a tiny kitchen for cooking, and a small bedroom with a twin XL mattress. Grey sheets that Danny didn't quite trust were clean. Danny barely had the time to settle in before he was pelted with schedules, school rules, and uniform requirements.
His uniform as supplied by the school was a navy blue blazer with the school label embroidered on the pocket. A tie striped black and blue tucked into a stuffy-looking dress shirt. Overall it felt more like he was dressing up for one of Vlad's stupid Gala's than it did school.
He wasn't given any time to unpack, not a second to relax or get used to his surroundings. Nope! He was expected to pack up his school supplies and head to school right away! Seriously, not a minute before the front office was asking where he was, as if offended he didn't teleport to school the moment he touched down.
The school itself was intimidating. Twice the size of Casper High, it looked like a private school. It also looked like a school where he'd face severe bullying. Just from looking at the entrance, he could tell this building had proper equipment down to the most obscure of clubs. Kids rushed past him some looking panicked as a school bell rang while others just seemed annoyed.
He strolled leisurely through the school hall on the way to the office. There was no rush, he didn't even want to be here. What were they going to do? Send him home? Oh no, what a tragedy! Snickering under his breath, Danny scrolled through the avalanche of texts Vlad was sending him. All of them pertaining the same message of "Get your ass to school you're making me look bad!" It almost convinced him to skip but the pissed-off edge to the office lady's voice in their last phone call was enough to goad him into creeping into the office.
A face of thinly veiled annoyance rested on the desk lady's face. He could barely get a word out before a school map and schedule were shoved into his hands. A bare-bones explanation of the school rules was given along with his school ID before he was all but shouted at to get to class.
You'd think there'd be an adjusting period where they'd walk him through everything and let him get settled in at his own pace, but nope! This is Gotham! Apparently, that's not how they roll with transfer students. It's like they wanted him back in amity as much as he did.
He wasn't sure if he liked that or not...
(I don't know who want's to be tagged for this one)
#I know very little about dc#I'm playing with the character like they're barbies#For it gives my adhd ravaged brain dopamine#dp x dc#dpxdc#I might just have to read some Dc x mlb#Because they do the same school thing with Damian a lot#dcxdp#I'm not beta reading this#deadserious#deadseriousship
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Perhaps Astarion looks like Cazador's friend
I have seen a lot of people headcanon Astarion looks like Cazador's former master Vellioth, which does make a lot of sense. However, I've always had another headcanon:
Perhaps Astarion looks like that friend of Cazador who was drained and killed by Vellioth.
Here are my thoughts:
In the 5e DnD Monster Manual, vampires have the nature of Dark Desire, and it says "Whether or not a vampire retains any memories from its former life, its emotional attachments wither as once-pure feelings become twisted by undeath. Love turns into hungry obsession, while friendship becomes bitter jealousy. In place of emotion, vampires pursue physical symbols of what they crave, so that a vampire seeking love might fixate on a young beauty. A child might become an object of fascination for a vampire obsessed with youth and potential. Others surround themselves with art, books, or sinister items such as torture devices or trophies from creatures they have killed."
And it seems evil aligned creatures in lore always see friendship as vulnerability and weakness. Vellioth punished Cazador for his connection to his friend by draining this friend to death, and taught Cazador to never let anyone be his equal. This friend must be really special to Cazador to lead to Vellioth doing this.
We know that Cazador is a pretty good student for Vellioth's lessons. He learned the lesson and killed Vellioth. And he's begun to see the friendship he once possessed as his vulnerability and weakness. He probably hated being punished by Vellioth for his vulnerability and he wanted to vanquish his weakness by torturing someone who could serve as a symbol of his vulnerability, someone who looks like his friend.
He might still have some special emotion, even some kind of love, towards his dead friend but his dark desire has turned his emotion into hungry obsession. So, when he saw Astarion, who looked a lot like his friend, Cazador couldn't help being attracted to Astarion but also he wanted just to possess him, belittle him, and torture him.
That explains why Cazador has this special favoritism towards Astarion in terms of torture and punishment. In fact, I somehow believe that Cazador chose all his spawns because he had some affection towards them all. But his feelings are totally twisted so that he would torture them and use them, while insisting they are a family.
I don't know whether it's true that Cazador sent the Gur to attack Astarion, but I think he did savor the moment when he turned Astarion because he now had the power to "save" him from death, and to turn him into his own possession.
His torture is not merely some sadistic hobby but quite calculated and cold according to his journal. It's only when Astarion got away that he showed emotion. It seems like he was subconsciously training Astarion as a potential successor, just like Vellioth taught him and trained him to be the vampire master of the Szarr family.
This reminds me of the 5e DND module "Curse of Strahd". In "Curse of Strahd" if you role play as Strahd, he has an objective to find a successor, because he thinks if he can find a successor to replace him then he can get rid of the eternal curse and get his freedom.
After you defeat Cazador without Astarion you can detect his thoughts, and you will find that he also thinks he is forever trapped in this immortal curse. He cannot rest and he's in grief. He wants to break the curse, and that's why he sought the profane ritual so that he could gain the ability to finally "live" like a mortal.
But apart from becoming the vampire ascendant, there's another way of terminating his grief to finally put him to rest, that is, to be destroyed and replaced by a successor.
In some way, he was subconsciously expecting Astarion to succeed him and replace him. I think his former master, Vellioth, knew it even more clearly that he would be replaced by Cazador somehow, and Vellioth was training him to do that by intention. Cazador was doing this similarly but more unconsciously. In his subconsciousness, either he would consume Astarion at last, or Astarion would end him and replace him.
Finally, and this is purely headcanon: according to Astarion's age, he was probably born after Cazador's friend was killed. If this friend was also an elf, then when Cazador saw Astarion, for a moment he might think Astarion could be his friend's reincarnation.
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