#this concept has been at the forefront of my mind all day. why? who knows

[godmodebeginswithlesbians]

a woman gets isekaiied into a fantasy world as a heavy armor knight, finds her long hair is too tedious to care for and gets in her face way too much and cuts it short, and slowly collects a group of friends from this world that in typical isekai fashion, form a guild with her. however- her voice is deeper than the average woman's, her figure is generally pretty androgynous even without the armor, and her behavior is read by these people as more masculine than how the same behavior would be read in her home world, so all of her friends think of her as a man. she finds that she doesnt really mind, which is helpful as the government in this fantasy world is like, really weirdly fascist, and if she revealed her gender there is the chance she would be reported and then killed for crossdressing. as she grows closer to her guild, bits of her backstory are revealed, she was killed/isekaiied the normal way (hit by a car or van or smth) while on her way to visit her terminally ill sibling in the hospital and feels really guilty about "leaving her parents to deal with that alone" or some shit. all things considered though, she's pretty ok otherwise. now, she's also pretty genre savvy, and realizes pretty quick what happened, and notices that the cast of characters around her tend to be flirty women, tho sometimes they arent flirty, and sometimes they arent women, and somethings they're neither, and kinda panics about it. she considers her options, which prob consist of like. a catgirl, a mage girl, a healer dude, a warrior guy and warrior girl (twins?), a knight in shining armor girl, a rogue/theif girl, a regal woman who's totally not a deposed princess from somewhere or another, and a younger brother type figure, and figures, y'know, she probably would've known by now if she were attracted to ladies, and they all seem to have eyes for each other rather than her, anyhow. so she decides to go after healer dude, he's cute and kinda nonassuming, and she won't be getting in the way of whatever kind of situationships the rest of her guild have found themselves in that way. so, she starts to act on that, and over the story realizes that hey maybe she should've cared more about politics in her old life, this fascist regime is killing children and people who were nice to her all because they didn't fit the mold of what they were supposed to be, and hey! maybe "she" didn't really fit either, and only thought of a future that was pushed on "her" because there wasn't really another option that immediately presented itself - an easy and nonconfrontational future with a "normal" husband and "normal" kids working a "normal" job and, and, and.... and he comes to a few more realizations along the way, learning to be happy as himself, with the people he cares about, and discovers that maybe there is some truth to that old trope that queer people tend to converge around each other and exist in groups after all, and subtly helps them get together (or apart from people/futures they don't care about) all while making plans with them to overthrow the fascist regime so that everyone in this world can live safely and happily. i figure the eventual get together between our armored protagonist and the healer is in the last couple chapters before the endgame, and has some statement about finding love and belonging and happiness, and moving on from old grief over his sibling and worry for his parents - there's nothing he can do to change the past, after all, he can only work to improve the future - and idk how it ends except that healer dude says he'll wear a dress at their wedding because he generally just loves being a feminine guy, and happily ever after and whatnot, reinstallation of a citizen-decided government or smth like that.

[rinawantstosleep]

𖹭༉‧°𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪

solo idol suguru x fem idol reader

wc: 1.7k

— fake dating one of japan's biggest idols just to cover up another one of his scandals.

"And I'm doing this because...?"

Forty-nine minutes late. You've been keeping track of the time; not that it's a hindrance to you in any way imaginable. In fact, you'd be glad if the man you're waiting for took an explicitly extended period of time to arrive. An hour or two would be nice. He's a busy idol, after all. Who knows when his schedule will clear up for a boring meeting? Plus, you'd get an opportunity to leisurely lie around in your manager's office without having to drain yourself of any of the remaining energy that you've got. After that hell-inducing choreography practice for your next comeback this morning, even the mundane task of sitting down feels like a sanctuary.

"Think of it as 'damage control', of sorts." Your manager is all too aloof when stating this. Like he's done this a million times before; so insignificant, it doesn't even deserve even the most miniscule of emotions when said aloud, never mind the briefest time of day. But you're familiar with the patterns set in place. 

You're the scapegoat. Surprise, surprise (not really). It doesn't really come as too much of a shocker. Your company needs to sweep something under the rug? Eminently, you're their bargain chip. Does it sting that you're always being put on the forefront when they need to cover up any tracks? Acutely. That doesn't mean there can't be exceptions, however. 

Maybe you were born to bask in the limelight. There's a certain thrill that fosters itself in your heart when you're aware of just how much power you hold over the public eye. It started back when you were still a rookie. A company embezzlement scandal forgotten in the blink of an eye, all because you licked ice-cream off of your thumb during a livestream - supposedly so 'iconic' (due to the subtlety of your allure) that it took everyone by storm. Then, it all came snowballing; amassed to a point where every little movement of yours became the next 'big' thing. Virality was in your blood. 

Now, you know that your morality scatters itself all over the place in such circumstances where you're being used, in a way, to alleviate the graveness of another situation. But, come on. You're an idol. You chose this life. Bad press is still press. Besides, it doesn't hurt when your fans willingly sink their teeth into anything that you dish out. 

"Mm. Right. Well, your 'damage' has no concept of punctuality whatsoever, on top of the scandal he's got going on for himself right now."

"He'll be here soon enough."

"Maybe he's going to be a no-show," you shrug, already getting up to stand. You'll go back to your shared dorm room, gossip to your members about any ongoing affairs, and maybe order some food. Karaage sounds delectable right about now. Grabbing ahold of your jacket, you spin around to leave, when...

"Why the hurry, soda-tits? Patience is a virtue, you know?" Your most recent fiasco (an embarrassing accident that you're not entirely proud of). A member had spilt their soda on your top while filming a brand-sponsored video. Wasn't that just all the rage? Publicity follows you around like an abandoned dog.

He's finally here, words that elicit a pathetic cringe from you entering the room alongside him. Perfect timing. 

Suguru Geto. One of the entertainment industry's most prominent figures; and also the highest earning idol from your company. Ridiculously good-looking, even if you've never been one for liking guys with long hair or piercings. But, you do understand all the hype that surrounds the R&B singer - from a musical standpoint, anyway. He's got great songs, you'll admit. Some of them, you've even found yourself singing along to in the shower.

You'd passed him here and there a few times in the halls or practice rooms; it'd never feel real - the same way you'd imagine being present alongside some ethereal, supernatural deity. An air of mystique appeal. Silent, yet cool. Like a ghost; unattainably ethereal. Turns out that he's got quite the attitude (because, really, soda-tits?). Cocky, too. It must be all the fame getting to his head. He's been knocked down a peg or two on the pedestal you'd previously kept him on. 

"Watch it. I didn't volunteer to-"

"Suguru, my boy, you're here!" 

So much for trying to clap back. It's not like you were actually going to get a chance to take a dig at the company's golden boy. 

"Came as soon as I heard." Yeah, right. Who does he think he's fooling?

"Well, then, you must be busy. I won't take up much of your time. This is just to discuss the recent scandal going around about you..."

. . . 

What's worse to fans than the idea of their precious idol smoking a few cigarettes? Dating, obviously. That's where they draw the line. God-forbid there be some love in the air. It's the perfect distraction. You're the perfect distraction. Fake-dating to stir the conversation away from Suguru's former defamation. Once things go according to plan, once the initial heat has died down, you'll announce that you two have broken up, that you couldn't deal with all the eyes on you two. The public loves a story. Of course, nothing was ever genuine to begin with. 

Everything's been set out for you by the company over these past few days. A 'leaked' video of the two of you entering a hotel together. 'Fan-made' videos suspecting a possible relationship. Photos circulating online where you're holding hands. Your PR team has been working their asses off. The ball's in your court, now. 

One objective: sell it like it's the last fucking thing you do. 

"Over here!"

"Suguru!"

"Y/N!"

"We've seen the videos!"

"Suguru!"

Despite your personal success as an idol, you've never been hounded by paparazzi like this before. There's stardom for you, you suppose. Actual stardom: the kind that Suguru has. Too many flashes in your face to even discern where to take your next step. Too many voices that you swear they're imprinting onto your mind. You've resorted to hiding your face in his sleeve, arms coiled around the one he has on you. Any and all trust that you've got has been handed over to the guy, latched onto him while he guides you through the sea of capricious cameramen. You just pray that no one gets past the two bodyguards situated on either sides to trample over you. 

"This is normal to you?"

"Not always to this extent, but sure. You get used to it over time." 

His lips are so close, you can feel the warmth of his soft breath mingling with yours. It's the only way you're able to hear one another: practically talking down each other's throats. You bet that's selling it. How you're blinded by nothing but white, how the shuttering sound of the cameras proportionally doubles. Oh, you're certain they're getting a nice shot of your faces so close together. 

"You know what'll be fun?"

"What?"

"Seeing these photos of us all over the internet later." Much like your manager was earlier, Suguru's way too casual about this. There must be some sort of art that one hones when reaching a point of fame so high. Desensitization? Possibly. 

By the time he's led you into a nearby café, you swear you've forgotten how to walk. It takes a while for your eyes to adjust to the light (you know, normal light that isn't threatening to seize your vision, permanently). Do people usually get this dizzy after having their eyes go raw from being smothered in blinding glares? You'll have to ask Suguru once you've caught your breath. For now, your utmost priority is finding anything to rest your tired legs on. 

"Those are the types of people you've gotta look out for."

Sitting down on the chair that Suguru's oh-so-courteously pulled out for you, you glance around your surroundings. However, you fail to detect anything out of the blue. The place is as ordinary as one would expect. High-end café with high-end patrons. Everyone's minding their own business. A few couples on a date, some customers with their laptops out, a group of teenagers huddling at a table. It's as serene as could possibly be. Your gaze lands upon the booth Suguru nods at. 

"A normal girl studying? It's exam season, Suguru. Unlike paparazzi, these people aren't obsessed with us. She probably doesn't even know who we are..."

"Mm. That's what she wants you to think." Your raised brow of silent judgement makes him chuckle. "Trust me. We just need to... give her some bait to bite."

 . . . 

When Suguru had mentioned bait, you weren't expecting this.

The cold emitting from his snakebites and lip-ring send a shudder through your body. The piercing on his tongue doesn't help things in the slightest. Stampeding into your heart far better than those cameramen from earlier could ever wish to, Suguru's kissing you with such unrelenting desire that you feel like you're floating; transcending into some other dimension: one filled with him, him, him, and only him. 

He coaxes your bottom lip open into a pout with his thumb while whispering praises against your flesh. It's numbingly good. Your thoughts swing like a pendulum; back and forth, never-ending. This is all fake, all a hoax to lure the media's attention elsewhere. You're not supposed to like it. In spite of that, why does your heart yearn for more? His hands that cradle your face, the soft yet pleasantly indulgent groan he lets out at the taste of your lips... it's driving you up a wall. 

Nowhere else to go, your own hands find purchase on his biceps, squeezing the firm flesh beneath your fingers. God, you don't ever want to let go. 

It's enough to send you spiraling, heart beating so fast it might just leap out your chest. If making out with the most reverent idol was on your bucket-list, you've got all liberties to cross it out now. 

"You're good at this."

Cross off being complimented for your kissing prowess, too, if it was on the list.

"... you think so?"

Abruptly, however, like all things do, the heated session between Suguru and you comes to an end. 

Flash. 

A blur speeds right past you and out of the café doors. A reporter disguised as a student, huh? It turns out that Suguru was right. Maybe he does have an acquired skill for weeding out people like these. 

"Told you she'd bite." 

with 𖹭, rina!

[yikimiki]

I feel like requesting for some CEO erwin who traps reader?

The how, the when, iss all on you

Took me a while to think about the concept of “trapping” here — so I basically went in every possible direction known to man

⚠️ warnings: toxic/dark content!!, vague smut, erwin is very narcissistic and sadistic, CEO!Erwin x MedStudent!Reader, 20 year age gap (25 and 45), manipulation, abusive relationship (emotional, psychological, financial), mentions of pregnancy and baby trapping

—

Erwin’s victory started with a small suggestion — something so bland and unimportant that you didn’t even pay attention to it, but now you deeply wish you could take back. “Why don’t you spend some time away from school? Take less classes. You can stay with me, darling, live a little.”

It was spoken over a glass of wine, in between silly giggles and stupid jokes, lost in the warmth of the candle lights and the dinner in front of you. You and Erwin had been going strong for some time then, almost seven months together, and you had no reason to suspect ill will. So you said yes.

The change was actually very kind to your mental health and, even if you were a semester away from graduating, you decided to step back. Erwin asked you to move in with him, into his beautiful penthouse facing the bay, and you accepted. He suggested that you take the entire rest of the year of to travel with him, and you did. And, when you come back, your education has practically vanished from the forefront of your mind.

You have the intention of coming back to med school, and you tell him so thousands of time — which Erwin politely agrees with. But, at the same time, it is like he always has this great new opportunity for you that stands in the way. “Why don’t we move? You can decorate however you want, darling, I’ll just pay,” or maybe, “Don’t you think going out with your friends has been a little draining? Why don’t we stay together more often, just the two of us?”

To make things worse, Erwin works all the time. He leaves you alone in this humongous, empty, pseudo-modernist house that you can’t stand, doing things you can’t stand — all day long, every day. You clean, you get everything in order, you watch stupid TV shows and you put some pre cooked meal in the oven a little before he comes come. You hate being a housewife, you miss your freedom, your intellectual pursuits in medicine. And, most of all, you miss doing something else.

“I think I’m going back to school,” you say one night over dinner. “I already submitted my information. Just waiting for them to get back to me.”

Erwin places his knife down. And, just like that, it’s like your previous years together never existed.

“To do what, get more debt? Like I’m not paying enough?” He asks — cold, calculated. The room feels like it’s tilting a little. “Do you know how much I spend on you? How much I spent on this house, on everything you bought, and now you want me to just accept another load of cash just… out of my wallet?”

“I’m… I’m not asking you to pay for anything,” it’s all you can say.

He sneers. “Oh, you never ask. But I always do.” Erwin leans back again the chair. “Besides, it’s not like you have the money anyways. So let’s not kid ourselves here — you know I work hard, extra fucking hard, to make you happy. So what is it? Am I not making you happy?”

You blink, not recognizing the man before you anymore. “You make me happy, Erwin. But I need more than this. I miss my life, my friends…”

“Oh, so I’m not enough, is that it?” He gives you this wicked smile that has your stomach clenching. Erwin sighs, disappointed, and gets up from the table. “Let’s do it like this: I’ll leave you alone tonight so you can think about what is it that you want—“

“Wait, no that’s not…”

“—And, tomorrow, when I come back, we can talk better about it,” he finishes. “If you want to go to med school, we can figure it out.”

The night passes in a blur of tears and cries, confused thoughts coming and going in your head. All you can think is that you were raised better than this — better than to lower your expectations for someone else, better than to let someone else dictate your future. But, at the same time, you’re so hurt. Erwin has been your everything for so long now that you don’t even know what you’ll do without him. You don’t have a job, you’re away from family and friends, and you wouldn’t even know where to start he were to kick you out. He is everything you have.

So, next morning, when he shows up with a bouquet at your door, you forgive him. And you swallow your pride and tell him you can wait another year or so to get on your feet.

Erwin seems blissful, and even creates a job at his company for you to make your own money… which he pockets, to take better care of it — because “you don’t know how to invest”. He loves seeing you around every day at work, and you like it too, but you can’t help to feel a little claustrophobic at the way your life has turned into a pendulum between your house and your work. And Erwin. Erwin is always there.

You get tired of suggesting dates with him. Erwin has turned every single comment of yours into an episode of self flagellation — he isn’t good enough, you don’t love him, there’s someone else, you don’t want to be with him. And so you retreat, afraid of more conflict, and let things accumulate.

Erwin’s victory concludes one autumn night, before you even realize there was a game being played. He kisses you like the world is about to end, worships your body like a temple and, at the last minute, suggests that you change just one last thing for him: “what do you think about not taking the pill anymore?”

You hesitate this time, but accept superficially. You keep taking it until it’s over, and you realize that there isn’t a way for you to buy more of it without Erwin realizing it — it’s his card, and he doesn’t give you any extra money. He takes you to and from work. There’s no free time.

So you pray that it won’t happen. For three months after your pause your period doesn’t come, then it resumes, thin and painful, then strong. Erwin fills you up with cum every night, more often than before, because there’s a mission now, there’s a plan in his mind. And you are afraid to say anything else, afraid to sadden him or make him mad, because you feel like without him, you’re nothing. Without him, you don’t even know how you are.

“It’s positive? Why didn’t you tell me?” Erwin walks into the living room one day, test in hand. You had thrown it in the trash earlier.

You force a smile, but there are tears in your eyes. “I wanted to make a surprise,” you lie. “Are you happy?”

Erwin smiles. “The happiest I’ve ever been.”

[f0xgl0v3]

Legacies in Camp Jupiter/Just Pjo?

Wow I am on a roll! Anyway I’ve been wanting to do this and the power post just really dragged up this issue in my head back to the forefront, and it is someone that really continuously confuses me on a basic level of how Rick chose to let this category function.

Legacies are a type of Demigod introduced in HoO that are directly related to Gods but aren’t first generation. They are not children of gods but like grandkids, great-grandkids, so on and so on. This is not a new concept, it is as old as myths themselves, the first thing that pops up in my mind was Troy’s royal family was said in myths to be descended from Zeus. That makes someone like Hector (in Pjo-verse vocabulary) a legacy in the Pjo canon.

But.. Legacies aren’t really different to demigods? Like- not different enough that they would get classified as differently-? For several reasons I believe, but the main three points I want to make (because apparently all my thoughts come in packs of 3), is that 1) Legacies and Demigods are shown to have the same godly-ability level as one another/ it’s inconsistent, 2) somewhat through the books themselves they just sort of stop using the word Legacy/Legacies never have anything that set them apart from demigods, 3) this is a new concept to distinguish them (this is the weakest but it feels weird that Rick decided to differentiate Legacies and Demigods when myths never really did too much, but when did Rick care about the source material- okay, that was rude I’m just still annoyed over Ares-)

Anyway,

Legacies and Demigods powers. Legacies are shown to have similar power levels to Demigods, or those powers are inconsistent. I bring this up because it feels odd? That legacies would have a similar broad level of abilities while still being more mortal than god (this depends and I’ll talk about what I think for like hc on New Rome and their legacy population) but we have characters like Bryce Lawerence; who has powers like, shadow travel (the shadow travel is implied but I’ll get into why it’s likely he has some form of enhanced ability to travel), enhanced tracking (also implied but this will fit into the travel thing), summoning the damned souls of those who broke oaths, along with being implied to have visited the underworld at some point because he mentions hearing the screams of the fields of punishment. But let’s also remember that BoO takes place somewhere in 8-9 days (starts July 20, ends Aug 3) the Bryce attack scene is on chapter XXX while Bryce being brought back to the legion is in chapter VI. No less than if I remember correctly like 2-3 days could’ve past. There are a couple things, he’s stealthy enough that Nico doesn’t notice him. We don’t get any confirmation that he’d been following them for a while (from all I know of Bryce’s character I have to assume he wasn’t or he would’ve 100 percent taken the first chance to attack them) but he is able to get from Long Island to South Carolina on foot, and seemingly appear out of nowhere. There is probably a logical explanation but also considering the fact he knows what’s happening to Nico (that shadow traveling fading that doesn’t seem to matter?) makes me consider and lean more to the idea that he can shadow travel (honestly would love to make another post on Bryce Lawerence because no one cares about him but I really find him interesting). But if he can do the (implied shadow travel) and the very apparent necromancy he has the same skill set of Nico! Never mind the tiny little difference in the necromancy, they have the same power and the same level of that power. The difference is that one is a legacy, and one is a Demigod- but there doesn’t seem to be a power difference. Secondly Frank’s shapeshifting thing, I’ll be real and say I just think that’s a thing because like Poseidon gifted it? I think of it as the same way that like the Red panda gift from turning Red is going strong because it was a blessing or whatever. And Octavian, who is (said, for some reason Rick wanted to put in that maybe Octavian never had powers at all but that’s stupid and takes away what little things Octavian has) but he also, doesn’t seem to have a dip in powers? I don’t care much for seeing the Apollo kids but it seems that they all can have varied powers (fitting seeing as Apollo was a god of so many things) and Octavian’s skill doesn’t seem limited in any way (would’ve been great if we got more information on it because we have no idea how it works compared to say, the way we know how the Oracle stuff works) but all of this puts a clear image that from the legacies we know, there doesn’t seem to be a big difference in power. Which is odd, seeing as they don’t feel like they should.

Through HoO Rick really just like- stopped talking about legacies? I’m laughing as I’m writing this but know it’s a saddened laugh because like. Rachel refers to Octavian as Son of Apollo (Which could be argued she doesn’t know what a Legacy is but I feel like since her Oracle powers told her everything else it would’ve informed her of his proper title- or I guess not because the writing didn’t care at all about Octavian-) and I think Reyna mentions Bryce is a legacy though it’s not referenced any more. Bryce just brings up Orcus in some dialogue and that’s about it. If you’re going to bring up a new type of Demigod then why not explore them more? HoO doesn’t explore like anything but still, Frank never has thoughts about his Legacy stuff. We don’t even get any notes about Greek demigods not considering most of the Roman Legacies Demigods because they aren’t the direct Children of the Gods? It just like- Legacies kind of do nothing, there is nothing different about a legacy.

Mythology doesn’t even really distinguish the two? Like- again because I’ve read the Iliad and Odyssey it’s what I always think first. Hector mentions he is also related to Zeus- that there is a distinct thing about demigods like Sarpedon, Achilles, and Aeneas. But there never is something where it calls out, “Oh Hectors great-great-great grandpa is Zeus and that’s super different and crazy” but it’s just “Hectors related to Zeus y’know and he’s gonna kick your butt man >:[“ obviously this is a random point because those are ancient texts. But we have to remember that Pjo is founded off of these myths and the fact that Legacies are a part of these myths but distinctly different (literally everyone who is descended from Zeus which is literally everyone- not literally but like-) operate differently, they are essentially no different than their fully mortal companions other than they can sport a God ancestor and the most convoluted family tree.

Okay. Those are the points that I’ve made. All of those boil down into like “Rick did nothing to differentiate Legacies from Demigods other than slap a different name on them” and that’s a missed opportunity. It’d be like if something like Harry Potter went, “Here are wizards that are said to be different than other magic users but all that’s different are their titles!” That might be a thing I don’t know I don’t consume Harry Potter. But there was a ball and it was slammed into the ground (huh, almost like Rick did that with a lot of things related to Camp Jupiter and the Romans- also the Romans canonically have cars and I don’t like that). But I have some Head-canons about legacies for my re-imagining to hopefully make them, make more sense?

The longer a legacy line is, the more ‘diluted’ the power becomes. Like in the myths, after you hit a certain point most legacies will have incredibly weak powers. This adds to the powers post I made (shameless plug that you should read that one too because I’m proud of it.) and how the legacies affect the Romans view on powers. But this means that the farther you get down a family line the less and less powerful the power is. Say a child of Zeus has children and then like ten generations down the line the descendants could be more resistant to lightning, conduct it easier and attract it a little more, maybe jump a big higher but that’s about it. Example, Michael Kahale In my re-imagining comes from a super duper long line and his powers pretty much are, I look pretty, I’m a little more persuasive from remnants of charm-speak (and I want to buff up the Aphrodite cabin more because Rick really just didn’t care when it came to them)

This doesn’t include ‘gifts’ like Frank’s. I think by the will of the God that blessed the ancestor with it they keep the power strong. This goes the same way for curses, maybe. If the curse is not revered than it probably is passed onto your kid.

In common sense, the fresher the legacy the more potent the power. And sometimes there can be mutations that a child can end up with more potent powers, whether that be the wishes of the Godly ancestor or they just get miracle genes it could act as a soft re-boot to strengthen the powers. For examples; Bryce is a very new legacy, his dad is the direct child of Orcus and Bryce gets passed down all of the cool powers (also need a hc for his mother because she comes from a legacy line) or Octavian was just.. born with the more potent powers, I like to think Apollo noted him and took interest to strengthen his powers for some reason. (Note he also is a legacy of Venus but I haven’t worked out if that affects him and how, but the Venus part is much more downplayed)

Legacies who have mixed godly blood/ several different lines that have merged have a little from everything, their powers are weaker but if like for example a Child of Athena with a Hermes legacy might have a easier time stealing things, or be a little faster than their peers. But these end up very minimal because the direct child aspect overpowers it a lot (idk I don’t know hypothetical demigod genes and how they work so let’s just go with it) this is similar with legacies+legacies though the family will usually stick to one legacy title (sort of how last names are passed on, but a partner wouldn’t take up the legacy title of the family. But a child would) while the powers honestly could be all over the place

Okay that’s all I think right now, if I have anything else I’ll probably make a separate post but for me right now it is very nighttime and I need my sleep so I can crush my siblings in various unserious competition.

[haloabove]

Do you have a personal preference for how Bruce should behave in his civilian and vigilante persona respectively?

For example: Should he play up the dumb himbo angle, should he use excessive violence, does he do talk shows, is he straight/bisexual, etc, does/should he have kids, how is his relationship with Alfred (i.e. employee/employer or father-and-son, I don't mean romantic), is his smile obviously fake or can people not tell,...?

You can answer whatever you like, that list is just to give examples. Would love to hear your own headcanons, too!!

Have a nice day!! <3

Hello!! This is such an amazing question, I’ve been thinking about it for a bit now and here’s what i have for you :D (Its a long one so I’ve put it all under the cut)

I do think Bruce has a bit of a “snobby rich boy” persona especially when it comes to press because he’s overly protective of his privacy and in his mind that also includes his real personality. However, anyone that has spoken to him at events understands that this persona crumbles the moment someone challenges his intelligence. He knows he’s smart and he’s not afraid to show it if someone questions it but until then snobby Bruce stays at the forefront.

Im a strong believer in Bruce being a charming man and he knows how to use it to his advantage. He can talk his way out of any situation, a flash of his smile and a few charming words and people will do anything he wants. So when his company gets bad press or a rumour is spreading about him that he needs to nip at the bud, he’ll slowly increase the press appearances and maybe he’ll flirt with someone and let the media he controls snap a few shots and suddenly he’s working the narrative into something that benefits him and whatever he needs. It’s dirty play but the man never knew how to play clean.

I do think Bruce is bisexual and is fairly open about it but the man has never been in a relationship with anyone long enough to know what fits well for him outside of a purely physical relationship. As for if he has kids, I like to think he has his robins but the Bruce I have in my mind was never made to be a father. That’s not to say he wouldn’t be a good dad if it came down to it but he’s spent so much of his life just him and Alfred that when he has to suddenly stop his very active life for a person who is wholly dependent on him, I just don’t think he’d cope well when it comes to caring for young kids. However, I think he would be much better with older children (like 16-19 year olds) because while children still need affection from parents (which i think he would give in his own way), older teenagers are much less dependent on a parent which is the main aspect he would probably struggle with.

With his relationship with Alfred, I’m a big fan of the (not quite) father-son dynamic for them. Alfred raised Bruce for most of his life and Bruce probably views him as a father figure but will not see him as his father because neither of them will lean into that. Alfred views Bruce as a son he didn’t have, the son that he should never have had to take in. He saw him through the murder of both of his parents and had to emotionally support him through so many major life moments, filling in for where both his parents should’ve stood. At some point, it probably became less about how this is his job and more about keeping Bruce happy and healthy and letting him grow into a person Thomas and Martha Wayne would’ve been proud of.

As for the Batman persona, I’m really not sure about his whole “no-kill” policy because as a vigilante, should he have special rights into taking a criminal’s life but also then we also have to account for the view of should we be killing criminals or rehabilitating them which is a whole other kettle of fish I’m sure Bruce Wayne thinks about a lot. I don’t see why he should be excessively violent but i can understand the concept of equal force of violence. if a criminal knifes an innocent then Batman would have the right to stab them back, I think Bruce would follow this as much as he could but the man is 100% torn up about the ethics of his vigilantism sometimes but if he dwells too much on it then it’ll probably send him into a spiral so he doesn’t.

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

Why shouldn’t people feel there is “something real there?” They clearly built up to those “I love you” moments and Mike/El growing and figuring things out together was a real plot thread.

This idea that there’s been a romantic thread between Will and Mike has always confused me. Yeah, Will needs to come to terms with his sexuality, but there has been nothing beyond super deep read subtext from tumblr users and the like to suggest Mike is bi/has feelings for Will. The show just isn’t that deep. Subtle clues aren’t exactly what it’s known for.

And Netflix has fairly heavily promoted Mike/El at times. The are the crux of the show. I don’t know what the end game will be, but I doubt it has Mike and Will ending up together even if Mike and El don’t.

I’ve seen this time and again, over multiple fandoms. It’s fine to ship a crack ship but I doubt that it’ll realistically be made canon. They aren’t gonna do a crazy reverse in season 4 of 5 or 6.

One really just has to watch, really watch, the trajectories of both Mike/El and Mike/Will over the course of three seasons. People are too used to how things usually work in popular media, that their brains are doing a lot of work autopiloting things lately.

I've done a lot of this already in my previous posts, particularly in my "Why Do You Lie?" post about Mike. That boy has had his feelings for El and Will all tangled up since season 1. El always manages to show up when Mike is thinking about Will.

Mike was intensely worried about Will when El showed up, and really latched onto her when he felt she could help find Will. Notice the intensity of his anger with her when he thinks she lied, or even the lesser annoyed anger when he realizes she's leading them in circles. Will is at the forefront of his mind, but this girl is a convenient outlet for feelings he's not allowed to have. Mike being kind to El is very sweet, especially when we see what she was dealing with before, but, seriously, he knew her for a few days, and she didn't even have a concept of love. This is not a romantic scenario, and people should stop treating it as such. If they were adult characters, it would be quite creepy.

In season 2, Mike is shown still worried about Will. He spends a lot of time calling out to El, but he curiously never tries to look for her. This is the same boy who was willing to tear the world apart to find Will. I don't think Mike actually thought El was out there. He was just in grief. The only one who managed to make him seem like his old self is Will. This is the season that had so many fans thinking Mike and Will could be a thing. Mike's worry for Will in season 1 was cute, but it could still be just a friend thing at that point. Season 2 showed us that, no, Mike treats Will very differently than he treats Dustin or Lucas. We weren't able to see a lot of Mike and Will's individual relationship in season 1, but we got a lot of it in season 2, and it was beautiful.

It always rubbed me the wrong way when some misguided fans would suggest that Mike's behavior towards Will was only because he was upset about losing El. Everything about how Mike treats Will is in line with his season 1 behavior. Mike isn't afraid of losing Will the way he lost El. He's afraid of losing Will the way he almost already did a year prior. He sticks by Will's side and tries to protect him with the same intensity and stubbornness he used when searching for him. Yeah, he's in grief over El, but I don't think that is influencing his behavior towards Will. It probably did, however, make him feel some measure of guilt for accepting El's fate when he didn't with Will. I do think he held himself personally responsible for El's "death."

Oh, and I'll add this in without comment. If you don't know why, then nothing anyone says is going to convince you, anyway.

Just a reminder that El just happened show back up in Mike's life shortly after that scene.

Even in the Snowball, which seemed to undo everything done to build up Mike and Will, there are little details to be seen.

Mike had urged Will to go dance with the girl, but then he has a very curious look on his face as Will walks off with her. It's not impressed disbelief or friendly pride. Mike seems uncomfortably unhappy. It's like he's upset, but he doesn't understand why. He then goes off and mopes. We can't say it's because he's jealous Will has someone to dance with. Lucas had already gone off to dance with Max, and Mike was fine with that. In what could have been a scene to show off Mike and Dustin's friendship, they both stare, moping, at the two couples on the dance floor. Dustin had spent the season crushing on Max, but now has to watch her dancing with someone else (poor guy also got brutally rejected by other girls). Mike shares a similar look and posture, despite being the reason Will is on the dance floor to begin with. Mike is upset Will is dancing, and it both confuses and upsets him.

Then El shows up, again, as Mike is having intense feelings for Will. This has been a repeating event throughout the show to this point.

In season 3, we get to see Mike and El together, and, wow, it's not pretty. They duck their friends to go make out, which seems to be all they really do together. Now that they've gotten together, it seems there's not much there. We don't really see them sharing interests or talking. Indeed, when they do try to have conversations, it's forced and awkward. Mike ends up having highly paralleled breakup scenes with both El and Will. One is in broad daylight, has a comical tone, and ends with one character celebrating while leaving while the other one stands there, cluelessly stumped. The other is dark and rainy, with a dramatic tone, while one character sadly leaves in the rain while the other forlornly calls after them. Oh, and Mike only attempts to chase down and apologize to one of them.

That's a big deal right there. Mike has been shown to be a real ass at times, and he basically needs to be forced to apologize. When he does apologize, it's more or less done begrudgingly. With Will though, Mike hurries to apologize, openly stating what an ass he had been. This parallel is bigger than people seem to understand. They couldn't have made it any more obvious that they intended us to compare these scenes. Mike is only willing to be vulnerable to one person, and it's Will.

Dare I even bring up the epilogue where the Byers move away? Mike and Will have their coded conversation where Mike is scared Will would move on from him. Mike then has an awkward conversation with El that ends with an unreciprocated kiss.

Mike and El don't have the buildup of an epic romance. They have the buildup of an epic tragedy. El is going to have her heart broken, which, hopefully, at least leads to her learning what real (romantic) love is. Mike and Will, meanwhile, have been dancing around each other for years. Will is convinced Mike will never love him like that, and Mike has been trying to convince himself he's straight.

Do we really think it's acceptable to build up Will as gay only for him to end up rejected or with some random guy in the series finale epilogue? This is 2021. Those sorts of tropes have no place in a modern world.

I'm not some sappy teenager. I've been through this journey many times. I've been shipping pairs who don't end up together since before many of you were born. I'm not sure I've ever had one that actually felt real like Mike and Will do. In all other cases, I kinda knew the couple I shipped wasn't going to happen, especially back in the early 90s.

It becomes ever increasingly clear to me that people just don't know what real romance is anymore. Everyone is so accustomed to unrealistic, "love at first sight"-style relationships in fiction that they assume this boy and girl are genuinely in love each other the night the boy, frantically looking for his missing friend, and the girl, just having escaped the Lab she spent her entire life in, meet in the woods. The fact that it's easier for people to see romance in there than in two boys who have been intensely close for most of their lives is, well, just plain sad.

[thisdreamplace]

30 Days of Manifesting the Mental State (Part 1)

Guidelines:

- Focus on manifesting the mental state of who I desire to be

- Let the external world be, the internal world has all my focus

Why?

I was inspired by this short post:

Decide to Manifest the Mental State

My goal with this was to manifest my ideal mental state in regards to whatever I deem important to me, so this was a heavily self concept based challenge. Compared to the challenges I did in the past, where I was interested in physical manifestations.

Reflection:

Y’all, if you feel like you’ve done all you can do and you’re stuck, try this challenge. lmao You will be fucking read to filth. And it’s the best thing ever.

During the first week, I really got shown myself. Before this challenge I thought I was good with not taking the 3D too seriously. By implementing this challenge, I realized how much I actually paid attention to it for validation. Given this challenge is all about manifesting the mindset, I could no longer use the 3D an excuse for why I’m upset or wonder why I see no changes. Because I only had one job and that’s to manifest the mindset, no matter what the 3D shows. I often would remind myself, “I need to conform to myself first.” This helped me to stay on track during the first week.

Plus, I realized, once again I was slacking on everyone is you pushed out as a concept. It really was difficult for me to take responsibility for others. But thanks to this challenge, I couldn’t put this concept on the backburner anymore. And I know if I want the people in my world to change for the better, I must change for the better within first. Once again, “I need to conform to myself first” was such a solid reminder. How could I look at the 3D in disappointment, when I hadn’t even conformed to myself first? This is still a work in progress, but it’s at the forefront of my mind now instead of an afterthought.

After about the first week, things got easier. I read a couple posts that really clicked for me and it honestly became chill af after that. Things started moving more in my life. It’s honestly so weird how the law works. This shit really is subtle as hell, it’s so natural when your world starts conforming you barely even notice. There’s so many things that happen in a day that align with my new conception of self and it’s difficult to remember them all.

But basically, I moved into an entirely new state. Like, things just are not the same for me mentally or with the way I feel. Like... how do I explain this? Basically, my desired self concept has become so natural... a lot of my state of lack habits have disappeared. And I didn’t even expect that to happen. Like, getting worked up about how long it’s been... wondering if I did something wrong... like all of that just vanished. I feel extremely... fulfilled and satisfied. I actually know I did everything I could do. So what else is there to do? I don’t feel the need to search for more anymore. I truly feel satisfied with my mental efforts. I have done my best, now all that is left to be done is to live and allow life to do it’s thing, really.

On the final week, I hit a wall. It was like I simply could not shake the anxiety. Each day I was thankful it came to an end, hoping for a more pleasant following day... that didn’t come. The emotional rollercoaster! I would go from “it’s okay, I don’t need to analyze how I’m feeling” to “okay, wtf is going on????” I was a mess, but as always, I persisted. I know there’s mixed opinions on this, but from my experience I definitely have moments where my mind is purging the old story. And it’s difficult as fuck. I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t exist because someone out there might be going through the same. I want y’all to know, we can make it through to the other side.

During those days, I had these moments where I can actually feel myself as God? And it’s not this super powerful feeling. It’s been more... calm and peaceful. Like I just know I am taken care of. Honestly, it usually only lasts in glimpses. But that’s okay. Because I know I am just uncovering that part of me more and more. It’s actually so exciting.

From experience, I know every dip like this on my journey has lead to more mental and emotional freedom. So even though in the moment it feels like absolute meaningless torture, I know it makes sense and it’s happening for a good reason.

But this is where I left off. The challenge ended before I was able to make it through the low moment. So now, I am just going to revamp this challenge with a part 2, with everything I have learned about myself from it.

Best Self Concept Manifestations:

- I have felt more fulfilled than I ever have in my life. And I did that on my own. Pretty fucking great. 

- The main theme on my journey has continued to improve: love. People LOVE me. Like they LOVE me lmao. I constantly get compliments on not only my appearance but also my character and who I am as a person. My ideal life is entirely in view, I can see the destination now.

- Not needing to constantly read about the law anymore. This is my favorite, because I love the law. lol So, when I deleted Reddit and actually had weeks pass where I didn’t feel the need to redownload it, it was like wow. I know everything I need to know. There’s nothing else to read. I have my comfort/motivation posts, and I would go back to those time to time. But I have very little interest in the search for “new” information now. There’s nothing else to learn, there’s only concepts to apply.

- Despite the downward spiral, I can say I have definitely seen improvement in my bounce back from the 3D circumstances overall. I have my moments, of course, but overall it’s definitely become easier for me to remember this world is malleable and nothing is set in stone.

- Kdramas. LOL I always end up watching one that aligns with my journey, which is cool af. I started “When the Camellia Blooms” while on this challenge and it was funny because my sister watched in months ago. And she was like, “Dongbaek (the female lead) is the character I said you remind me of.” Which was such a huge compliment. She’s literally what I strive to be? Loved for no reason other than existing and super pretty. LMAO She’s simply adored and unforgettable, simply because she is. That was such a boost to my work on my self concept. It may not sound like the best manifestation ever but for me it was motivation to keep persisting. If I can see it, I can have it. Period.

Conclusion:

This isn’t over yet. I am moving into part 2 of this challenge as we speak, which will be similar but with a more precise focus. So in conclusion, all I can say is try it for yourself. It’s definitely worth it.

Resources That Inspired Me the Most During this Challenge:

Nothing Outside Will Help You Change Your Mind

Dissolving Fears to Manifest Effortlessly

Self Concept, Self Love, and States

Hug Your Inner World Tight

[andypantsx3]

conspire | 2 | first date

pairing: Todoroki Shouto / Reader

length: 13,307 words / 5 chapters

summary: Shouto Todoroki had definitely only asked you out in order to ward off his horde of interested suitors. So why does he keep actually taking you out on suspiciously realistic dates?

tags: romance, reader-insert, fake dating, misunderstandings

warnings: aged up characters, eventual smut

The next morning, your classmates wouldn’t shut up about it.

The rumor of your rendezvous with Shouto had spread like wildfire through the school, and you were assaulted by a wave of questions the second you turned up to modern lit. “Is it true?”, “Is he your boyfriend?”, “How do you know him?”, “Is he a good kisser?”, all blended into a cacophony of sound that nearly bowled you over as you stepped through the door.

You felt your face grow hot under their scrutiny and quickly stuffed yourself into your desk. “Yes, we’re dating. No, I won’t answer other questions about it.”

“Come on,” Miko--the girl in the desk closest to you--begged. “You’re dating Shouto Todoroki, the cutest boy in school, and you won’t even tell us how you know him?”

You wracked your brain for something close to the truth. “We, um, got along really well on that support item project last month. It’s nothing special.”

Miko’s mouth opened to fire off another question, but Mr. Cementoss cut her off with his arrival, launching immediately into his lesson plan. You sent up a silent thank you to whichever patron saint of fake dating had been listening.

The rest of the school day passed much the same way, and you wondered several times if the price of your senior project was perhaps too high.

You’d known that Shouto was something of a celebrity due to his parentage, supreme good looks, and incredible power--even outside the walls of UA--but you hadn’t really thought through how that would affect the people who stood closest to him. Knowing what celebrity looked like and actually experiencing it for yourself were two very different things, you found. You’d never been subjected to attention like this before and you weren’t sure that you liked it.

By the time Saturday rolled around, you’d started to wonder if you shouldn’t just call this whole thing off.

The sight of him that morning, however, immediately robbed you of your resolve.

He’d asked you to meet in front of your dorm mid-morning, and he showed up looking unfairly handsome in well-fitted jeans, a grey scarf, and a dark jacket with a high collar that framed his sharp jaw. He looked good, way too good for this early in the morning. You felt a shiver go through you, and not just because of the cold.

“Good morning, Y/N,” he greeted you, the corner of his mouth curling. He gestured with something in his hands and you found your eyes drawn to two takeout coffee cups from the cafe just outside the school gates.

Okay, he was a literal angel and forgiven for everything you had been through this week.

“I didn’t know how you liked yours, so I got all the extras,” he said, handing a cup over to you and turning out a pocket to unveil a mound of sugar packets and tiny creamer containers.

You smiled, feeling warm. “Thanks, Shouto. Pretty sure every support engineer has bypassed the need for modifications at this point and just mainlines straight from the coffee pot. Black is perfect.”

He grinned down at you. “Too many late nights?”

You groaned at the tidal wave of memories. “Support items should just build themselves.”

He laughed and gestured you to follow him, leading you out of school grounds and to the nearby train station.

“Where are we going?” you wondered as he ushered you onto the train. He herded you into a corner and stationed himself in front of you, one arm extended to hold the bar over your head. You wondered if it was something like a natural instinct at this point for hero students to assume a protective position, as Shouto’s choice had the effect of shielding you from the rest of the train car.

“I...asked around about you,” he admitted, looking a little embarrassed. “I’ve been told that your interest in quirks and support items doesn’t just end at the classroom door.”

You flushed. You were kind of a nerd, he had your number.

“I’m taking you somewhere I think you might like,” he said. He took a sip of his own coffee, varicolored eyes glinting down at you over the rim of his cup.

You nursed your own coffee as the train rolled into the city, resisting the urge to close your eyes and lean into him. It was something you might do with an actual boyfriend, and as cute as it was that he was taking you out on a real life fake date, you didn’t think he would appreciate you putting the moves on him.

He led you out of the train at the city center and down a few blocks, finally pulling you into a building with a very modern glass facade. You recognized it at once.

“The Support Museum!” you chirped happily, your interest picking up. They had an interactive exhibit going on right now that you and some classmates had talked about coming to see. Your fingers suddenly itched with the need to test out some of the items.

Shouto looked at you from the corner of his eye, a flash of curious blue. “This is okay?”

“Hell yeah,” you intoned, picking up the pace to get in front of him. “If you’re cool with being bored to death for the next six hours while I have a great time, then this is perfect.”

He gave you a dry look. “I care about support items.”

You scoffed. “You have like, one.”

A slow smirk overtook his features. “Maybe you could convince me to add more.”

Something hot flashed through you and you gave yourself a hard pinch through the fabric of your jeans. His tone seemed laced with insinuation, but you knew better than to buy into it. It was just hard when he was looking at you the way he was.

Damn him for having a face like that.

“Careful,” you said, trying to reroute your brain, “you’re signing yourself up for a whole lot of wild rambling and weird tangents.”

That soft smile pulled at the edge of his mouth again. “I’m used to it. Midoriya, my best friend, is a lot like that.”

You’d been in the room with Izuku Midoriya before and didn’t doubt it. The boy could certainly give you a run for your money. If he wasn’t equipped with the wildest quirk you’d ever seen, he would have made one hell of a support engineer -- you were probably lucky you didn’t have to compete for grades with a mind like that.

“Treat me like white noise,” you said as he shouldered past you to pay for tickets.

You let out a noise of protest when you noticed what he was doing, but he pressed you back from the ticket counter with a strong arm you couldn’t get around. It seemed only too easy for him to hold you off and pay for tickets at the same time, and it was slightly offensive. Maybe you needed to put in more time in the support course gym.

“I asked you out,” he said by way of explanation after you complained all the way through coat check, only shutting up when you were distracted by the sight of him in a soft tee shirt and blue button up. “I should pay.”

You made a dismissive noise. “It’s not the nineteen thirties anymore, dude. I can pay for my own stuff.”

He turned to you with a wry look. “Are we fighting about money already? Not something I’d thought we’d get to at this stage, to be honest.”

You laughed. “Our first fight as a couple.”

He pinned you with an interested look, something in his gaze growing hot. “Should we kiss and make up?”

Your face instantly went up in flames, like he’d lit you up with his quirk. Jesus Christ, he was a teaser? You’d thought he was just the quiet and thoughtful type -- who knew that he hid an ironic sense of humor underneath all that? This was going to be bad for your health.

“Cute,” you quipped for something to say, marching in front of him quickly so he couldn’t see your face. “Uh, where to first?”

He let you lead the way around the museum, and in minutes you’d pretty much calmed down from the heat of the moment, distracted by the halls filled with the forefront of quirk theory and the corresponding support equipment.

As someone who’d been born without a quirk of their own, the concept had always been fascinating to you, leading you into the support track at UA in your efforts to study quirks and their applications. It was incredible how genetics determined which people had none, and whose ranged from benign improvements like seeing slightly better through fog to more deadly power that roiled just beneath the surface of one’s skin like Shouto.

The deviations in power manifestation stretched the genetics of each human further from one another than they had ever gone before -- sometimes by a full 0.1-0.2% of their DNA structure -- and it was crazy cool. While your speciality was more applied science, you couldn’t deny the biology of it was equally as interesting.

At the rate it was going, people like you could share more genetic similarity with a banana at some point than someone like Shouto. Well, after a couple more millennia of evolution.

Shouto chuckled and you realized with some alarm that you had been babbling all of that out loud.

“Should I be concerned that our children might come out as bananas?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

You gave him a sour look. “You know that’s not how it works.”

He flashed you a cheeky grin and followed you easily as you led the way through the other exhibits.

He listened attentively as you oohed and ahhed over the different displays, asking very pointed follow up questions like he was actually interested in what you had to say. You fell into a very involved discussion about most of the displays, and you realized with some surprise that plenty of time had passed without you realizing it, and that you were having an incredibly good time.

Shouto paid for lunch at the museum cafe as well, affecting hearing loss over the sounds of your protests, and kept up the easy conversation all the way through the meal.

After lunch, you two queued up for the interactive exhibit that you’d initially wanted to see, eventually being let into the exhibit hall in a small group. You immediately lit up like a kid on Christmas.

The hall was studded with actual support items that had been developed for the top twenty heros, ranging from real costume pieces that had been retired to replicas of items currently in use, supplied by the same companies as had built them. The items were free for testing with the caveat that the user had to be careful.

You spent a fair amount of time over pieces of Edgeshot’s costume that had been made from strands of his own hair, allowing it to fold and reshape with the changes to his body, and more time over Ryukyu’s size-changing suit that mechanically adapted to her dragon form.

Shouto stopped over a flame-resistant gauntlet from his father’s previous costume.

“Think you can melt it?” you asked with interest. You wondered how fast they’d eject you from the museum if he succeeded.

Shouto shook his head. “My flames are hot but I doubt it.”

You perked up. “How hot?”

“I haven’t actually measured,” he admitted and you groaned.

“Your super cool quirk is totally wasted on you,” you said. “You have to let me do tests.”

His mouth twitched again. “What kind of tests?”

“Anything you’ll let me,” you said. “Temperature gauges, cryogenic structure analysis, body scans when you use both energy sources. I have my theories as to how your quirk is actually scientifically possible but I need more data.”

“Body scans, huh?” he asked.

Of course he’d seized on that one. God, he was such a boy.

“Yes. We’ll get you all strapped up in wires and those little sticky nodules. It’ll be super sexy, trust me.”

He chuckled, and set a hand to one of his father’s boots that was also on display. “Fine, but later. Want to test this out now?”

You leaned in, nodding, and he let a flame grow in his hand, pressing it to the fabric of the boot. The cloth activated instantly, channeling the flame across the surface of the boot in the customary style of Endeavor’s flaming costume.

“Fuck, that’s so cool,” you breathed, leaning over to read the description of how it worked. “You need something just as obnoxiously showy on your costume. You’re letting your own dad upstage you.”

He laughed again and let the flame die down.

You wandered companionably through the rest of the exhibit, thrilled when it ended in an arcade-like simulation of Wash’s quirk that let you rig up and shoot water around at various targets. Shouto immediately targeted you instead.

“You're supposed to be a hero,” you whined, whipping around to aim your water cannon at him in revenge. “How could you target a civilian like this?”

His hero training had clearly paid off, as he was too skilled at dodging to get caught up in any of your attacks. Your time was called without you able to catch him once, but you left the exhibit with your own shirt sticking wetly to your body. You tried not to wince, thinking of the wintry weather that would no doubt invade the confines of your jacket once you made it outside.

Shouto immediately pulled you to the side of the coat check, however, his eyes trailing down your shirt where it clung to you. You tried not to feel self conscious.

“Let me,” he said quietly, placing a hand against your shoulder. Searing warmth washed over your skin under his hand and you tried not to arch up into the pleasant heat. You stood incredibly still, hardly daring to breathe as he passed his hand lightly over your shirt, taking care not to touch you anywhere too scandalous, though some traitorous part of your mind almost wished he would. This close, you could catch the scent of some light cologne, minty and fresh, and the smell of it made your head spin.

It took just under a minute for him to fully dry out your shirt, each second passing like a small eternity.

You were able to gather your wits just enough to laugh about his bright future in steam cleaning as you tucked back into your coat, then followed him to the train back to campus.

It was nearly dark by the time he walked you back to your dorm, the sun dipping low to kiss the horizon, sunset orange fading into the deep blue of an evening sky. You realized that you’d spent all day with him and had hardly noted the time passing -- he was a very, very good date. Some girl in the months after graduation was going to find herself very lucky with him.

The dorm was quiet as you approached, which was unusual for a Saturday evening, and you realized with a growing sense of horror that your classmates must be waiting quietly, watching for your arrival from inside to see what he’d do. Shouto must have realized the same thing almost the same time that you did, as he stepped into your space at the doorway, catching the sleeve of your coat to pull you close to him.

“Is this okay?” he asked softly, face dipping close to yours. His features were somehow even more symmetrical up close and it was overwhelming to look at. “I quite liked today, so I thought…”

Your heartbeat kicked up in your chest and the tips of your ears went hot as you panicked, tangling your own fingers in his dark jacket like a lifeline. “Y-yeah,” you answered. “This is g-great.”

He smirked, leaning in even closer to you. You held carefully still as you had in front of the coat check, all the nerves in your body straining with anticipation. Then a hot mouth pressed softly to yours, and every neuron in your brain misfired.

The next thing you registered, your arms were around his neck and he was pressing you gently up against the door, his tongue in your mouth and his large hands on your waist. You arched up into his touch, desperate to get closer, twining your fingers in his soft hair.

He gave a low groan and pressed you harder into the door, a hand coming up to cup your face as he did something absolutely criminal with his tongue. So much for his career as a hero.

A muffled shout came from within your dorm and you jerked apart, panting. Your face flamed in embarrassment.

“Wow,” you said dumbly, and the corner of his mouth twitched.

“Wow indeed,” he teased, stepping back from you.

You shook yourself as he did. Right, fake dating. The kiss had been hot but it was only for show--and the show had been successfully executed. You had to resist the urge to drag him back for another.

“I’ll text you?” you squeaked out and he agreed, looking weirdly satisfied as he bid you good night.

You watched him for a long moment as he trudged back down the path to campus, heart beating a frantic staccato in your chest.

Shouto Todoroki was the most dangerous boy alive and it finally dawned on you just what you had agreed to for the next few months. You were so absolutely fucked.

[dailyaudiobiblechronological]

10/5/2022 DAB Chronological Transcription

Matthew 4, Luke 4-5, John 1:15-51

Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible Chronological, I'm China. Today is the fifth day of October. It is so nice to be here with you today. Today we are in the book of Matthew, chapter four. We are also in the book of Luke with, with chapter four through five. And we are also in the book of John, chapter one, starting at verse 15, going through 51. And we continue on with the New International Version for this week.

Commentary

So we have a couple of different stories that we read today that flow in with each other and also are a little bit different. And so Jesus is starting to reveal who he is and he's begun to collect his disciples. And I love reading that because everyone has such different responses and they're collected from different places. They're not all just, okay, yeah, I like you twelve who are all just conveniently right here. All of you guys follow me. It's fishermen, it's a tax collector. It's people who probably would have never shared a meal together, let alone talk to each other civilly. And there's a series that has been created that our family really loves watching because it has really put a good visual to the scriptures and we just have really loved it. And it's pretty, I would say pretty scripturally accurate and also kind of dives into it a little bit more of maybe what could have happened. And so I don't know if you guys have watched the Chosen or not, but we are big fans of it for sure. And so my mind has just been playing out some of the different scenes where Jesus is collecting the disciples and yeah, I just can't help but think about that. And now I'm like, oh, I want to go back and rewatch it, but I'm really enjoying reading these gospels and reading the different parts of scripture that we have read and then it picks up and it continues. Or we're just reading from a completely different story entirely. But there's not too much about John the Baptist, but from what we do know and what we are reading about him is this man is walking in true fullness of who he is. He knows what his position is, he's got a lot of self awareness, a lot of maturity, and he's got solid identity in the way that he knows who he is and he knows who he's not. And he's not trying to make himself to be something that he's not. He has very humbly admitted I'm not the one, but it's the one after me and I'm not even fit to carry his shoes or to untie his shoes, depending on the writer. Something that I forget a lot of times in scripture but that is kind of like easily remembered in the very forefront. And then you kind of get is Jesus and John the Baptist are second cousins. So could you imagine being I know that John the baptist is not Jesus's highman. Man, but kind of is. Could you imagine having a cousin or a family relative that is not, like, famous, but is the Son of God and was formed via holy conception? And now you have gone into the wilderness for 40 days, 40 nights. You come out of it and you are just crystal clear with identity and with instruction. And you know that your role is to make straight the path before Jesus, before the Messiah. That is crazy to think about. And then jumping down into further scripture from today, like we had talked about, more of the disciples are being instructed to follow Jesus. And again, I love that it's not just all right in one sitting. And I'm curious, though, what about these specific men did Jesus see in them? They weren't put together men by any means, but they also weren't outcast either. So it kind of feels like the criteria, maybe there isn't any. Maybe it was God Himself through Jesus being like, this one and this one and this guy, and maybe not that guy, but this guy. I don't know what that would have been like. But I do know that Jesus is starting to reveal who he is and what he's doing here. Even when the teachers of the law and the Pharisees are starting to question, wait, why are you meeting with them? Why are you sitting with these people? Like, what? This is so uncommon. This is not the socio norm. And Jesus is telling them it is not the healthy people that need a doctor, but the sick. And he's starting to do the famous Jesus parables where people with ears to hear will hear Him, and people who do not will stay in a place of confusion and try to trip Him up to not mess with the status quo and make them uncomfortable. And also, there was already a statement today of, well, that's blasphemy. And so now there's some things already being stirred up and we're just in a few days of Jesus ministry.

Prayer

So, God, I thank you so much for Your Word, and I thank you so much for all the different stories that we have. I thank you for what a blessing and a gift Your Word is. And I pray that we would cherish these things in our hearts as we have learned about who you are, God, and now who you are through Your Son. And Jesus, we just love you. And I feel like I'm finding myself love you each and every single day, and especially reading Your Word and Your Gospels. So I thank you that the truth is that when we seek you, we find you. And I thank you for that truth, and I pray that we would continue to remain close to your heart, and it is in Your name we pray, amen.

Announcements

Dailyaudiobible.com is our website. That's the place of connection. So you can see what's happening here in the community. So be sure to check that out. If you have prayer requests and or things that we as a community can come alongside of you and encourage you and lift you up, and then you can call at 800-583-2164. And if you listen through the app, there is a way for you to record your prayer requests and to send them in here and they get played at the end of every day's podcast. That is all for today. I'm China, I love you. That will be waiting for you here, tomorrow.

Community Prayer Line

Hi, everyone. It's Christy in Kentucky. Well, I did it. I pushed the wrong button when I sent in the prayer request, so it went to DAB. So I'm going to try this again on the DAB side. Father, we thank you for this day and we are lifting up today Chile in Florida. Father, we are asking that you regulate his heart rhythm, father, to beat with yours. Father, he feels weak, so we are asking you to strengthen him, Father, and we thank you in advance. Lord, we are praying for Crystal and Illinois's motherinlaw as her brother is committed suicide. O Father, you are so close to the brokenhearted. We pray that they feel your presence and your comfort. Father, we pray for Crystal's brother in Baltimore. Lord is seeking his degree and it needs discipline in his studies. Father, we ask that you give him focus. Lord, we pray for Samantha in Tennessee's grandmother who has cancer, along with the unknown caller whose friends Jeremy and Alan in Scotland have cancer. Father, she also has a friend who has stage three cancer. Father, we are asking you to be with them. Father, Jeremy need you because he doesn't know you. Father, we are asking for salvation for him. And Father, we ask that you heal these. Father, we pray also Lord Jesus for my friend Judy's family. Judy went home to be with Jesus this morning and I am praying, Father, that you will lift up her husband Max and her daughter Sherry to you. Father, for those of us who have lost mothers, we know this is such a difficult journey. Father, we are also asking you to be with those in Florida. Lord, I ask that you be with my son in law whose home was flooded and also with my friend Judy, whose home was flooded as well in Orlando. Lord, I'm asking you also to be with my friends Terry's, Aunt Judy, who had a stroke into Tia yesterday. Father, I'm asking you to touch and heal. Thank you so much for praying fam.

Hi, this is Victoria soldier, just calling to pray for some of the DABbers. I want to pray for Kim in Kentucky and hear the word of the prayers of some of the daughters that stand up with. I want to pray for Sierra in Texas. She have been in a bunch of deals with the prayer. I want to pray for her I want to pray for Christie of Kentucky, of her husband Tim, and the problem is going through his hands and the surgery and all of the confusion. I'm going to pray for Tommy from surface, John and Cindy to open doors in their lives and to make a difference. Gracious father, we just ask you for the name that I've called. Father, you know the situation, you know everything about it. You know, God, they can do the impossible. First, I ask you for life in favor in their life. Lord, I ask you for Your will to be done in their life, your guidance and Your protection and your prophetic will to be done. You have a plan for their life. It's for a future and a hope. Father, we just ask you to have your way to heal, to deliver whatever that needs they need. Lord, you said you will supply all their needs according to your riches and glory. By Christ Jesus, we just let you to have your wat. We want you to continue to have your will in Jill and China's life. And we were glad to hear from the little brave little brave baby, Lord, her little child, and bless her husband, Father, and all the people of God. Lord, we just thank you for your spirit and Your presence and we thank you for your miracles and Your grace. We just ask you to have your wit. In the mighty name of Jesus and Lord, we give you the glory and the honor and the praise in Jesus name. Love you all. Deborah, talk to you later. Bye bye.

Hi. It's Yvonne from Alberta, Canada. I'm just going to jump right into praying for a request that I heard today. Heavenly Father, I want to lift up Abigail and Blossom to you, Lord, and their whole family. Lord, I ask for a hedge of protection to be put around blossom, Satan is sending the spirit suicide to attach to her of alcoholism, of bitterness, of depression. Lord, your little girl needs protection. So I'm asking, please cover her, cover her with the blood. Lord, I want to thank you so much for Abigail and for Mike and for the wisdom that you keep giving to them. Lord, I ask that there would be reconciliation in this family, and that the parents, rather than being worried about how good of a parent they are, that they would prefer what lost her first, put her health first. Lord God, have your way. You are so strong, so mighty, so powerful, and you can defeat the enemy with your pinky fingers. And so Lord, I'm asking, please do that for this family. Stand up for this family and send a good, strong Christian into the life of Blossom, Lord, so that they may lead her and guide her to your kingdom, Lord, so that it may expand even further and kick devil in the face. In the name of Jesus, I pray and I thank you, lord. Bye.

[jupitertherevolution]

its 230 but ive done tha writin check it out

“food as a love language”, johndave, 1k, slow burn but just barely the sparks

It’s 7pm on a Tuesday, and you and your boy are exhausted. Your boy being one Dave Strider, and you being one John Egbert. Though you’re not really thinking much about identity right now. In fact, the vague, nebulous concept of identity is the furthest thing from your mind right now. At the forefront of your mind right is a different vague, nebulous concept, one that has plagued humanity since the dawn of time: being fucking hungry.

Yes, you and Dave are incredibly hungry. It’s been a long day at work, you at the gas station and him at the Marshall’s, it’s storming like one sunuvabitch outside, and neither of you want to cook.

… But you will. Why? Because for one you’re the better cook out of you two, and you know that Dave wants you to cook even if he’s not saying it yet. The other reason is that if you don’t you’ll both just eat a few slices of cheese. And that’s not gonna cut it.

So while Dave sits his ass down on a barstool and leans on the counter, you consult the fridge. There’s not much in terms of raw ingredients.

“Man, we didn’t get to grab any groceries…” you complain aloud.

“We could reheat those wings?” Dave suggests from his slump on the counter. But you’re struck with an idea. You grab the wings, some shredded cheese, and a packet of tortillas. You snag some vegetable oil from the cabinet and set a frying pan onto the stove. You don’t turn on the burner just yet.

“Dude, what are you even cooking over there? The fridge is a barren-ass desert right now. A cold desert. A tundra. Gonna find a minecraft igloo with some jankass basement in there,” Dave says.

You smile as you start deboning the wings. You put the meat in a bowl and pop it in the microwave for 45 seconds. “I’m making leftovers quesadillas,” you tell him.

You turn on the burner and pour a little oil onto the pan. Just about the size of a quarter. You used to make these all the time when your dad couldn’t make it home by dinner time. You’ve got it down to a science. “They’re just quesadillas with whatever meat you have around the house.”

He snorts a bit at ‘meat you have around the house’. “Dude, you are a blessing,” he says.

You bat your hand as you swirl the oil around in the pan. “Nah, it’s easy. Besides, we gotta eat something, right?”

“No but like… you didn’t have to cook a wholeass meal.” The microwave beeps and you take the chicken out of the microwave. You lay a tortilla on the pan and it sizzles. “Cooking isn’t that hard, Dave. You just,” you start. You grab the cheese and sprinkle a generous amount. “…Add the cheese…” Next you lay a bit of chicken. “…and the chicken…” You grab a spatula and scoop under one side of the tortilla, folding it in half on itself. “…and then you just flatten it like this!”

He giggles. “Like my own personal cooking youtuber.”

“Oh, uh, whoops.” You say, a bit flushed.

“Nah, nah, it’s cool. I like it. It’s like I’m right there with you cooking, except not actually because that would be a disaster, I can’t cook for shit.”

You make a little pout as you flip the tortilla off of the pan and start making another one. “I’m sure you could cook fine if you learned to,” you say.

You can hear him smiling as he says, “Yeah but why would I need to? I’ve got you here as my personal chef!”

You laugh a bit at that. “Yeah, yeah. Anyways, can you grab some plates or some drinks? I’m almost done.”

“O-kay,” he says and makes the most demonic noise while stretching before sliding off of his seat and heading to the minifridge at the other side of the apartment. “You want a mountain dew or a pepsi?”

“Pepsi!” you answer and flip the second quesadilla off. One would think that’d be the end of it, but no! You always make two folded ones per person. Basic leftovers quesadillas rule. You put another tortilla on. “Man, I can’t believe you always buy pepsi… I want coke sometimes, man!” Dave gripes.

“Sorry Dave, but I just don’t like the hostile red. I need my soothing blues.” You’re on the verge of bursting into laughter just from saying it.

“What are you, a bull?” he says.

“Yes,” you say and hold a straight face for about a second before cracking up. It’s not that funny, but it’s become a running joke that you like pepsi better purely because of its ‘soothing blue packaging’.

You flip the third quesadilla off and get started on the last one. Tortilla, cheese, and chicken, in a nice rhythm. “Plates?” you say.

“Right, right,” Dave says and opens up the cabinet. “I’m still surprised you did all this. You didn’t have to.”

“Dave, I told you, it’s easy! Plus it tastes really good, and I didn’t really feel like eating shitty food tonight,” you say.

He sets the plates down on the counter across from you. “No but like dude, anything you cook is like, insanely good. I wake up every day and thank god I get to have a roomie who cooks like a goddamn michelin-approved restaurant chef.”

Your face warms a bit, but you flip the last quesadilla off and turn off the burner. “…Thanks Dave,” you finally manage to stammer out.

Finished with the cooking, you grab the pizza cutter and slice the quesadillas into quarters. You two grab your plates and drinks and sit next to each other. It’s as good as you thought it would be.

“Man, maybe you should teach me to cook. This is godly,” Dave says in between bites. “I’d be happy to teach you whenever you want, Dave,” you say.

The quesadillas are quickly demolished, and after putting the dishes in the dishwasher, you two are satisfied. “You down to just chill on the couch? Watch a movie?” he says.

You stand up and head to the living room corner. “Yeah, but I get to pick.” He complains as he gets up, “Nooo, you’re gonna pick something unironically shitty…”

“Hey, chef’s priveleges.”

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Natasha Romanoff x Reader : Prove Me Wrong

Summary: She can trust you, even if she doesn’t know it yet.

Warning: 18+ Mental Health, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Violence, Smut

Chapter 2

****** 

Coffee. You use to drink it every morning but that became a bad combination with the wave of emotions you took on. In which you switched to tea. It doesn’t have the exact same effect as the coffee did but it worked perfectly in it’s own way.

Pouring the hot water on the teabag causes a swirl of transparent brown to fill the mug. The steam that rises warms your hand and you release a sigh.

Being distracted means you get startled when dishes start clattering behind you. You jump, spinning around to see who came into the kitchen without you noticing. Only to instantly relax when you see Steve and Rhodey.

“Hey guys.” You smile and wave.

Both men give you a smile and say good morning. 

A small conversation breaks out about some threat over in San Diego. Not knowing anything about it, and it being none of your business, you just fix your tea and a bagel while they chat. And when they’re done Steve is more than willing to get his session started.

Your last session with the man ended with him heartbreakingly sad. The topic of Peggy arising and being addressed.

He’d admitted to you that he considered going back. After Thanos, when he had the stones, he considered staying in the past to be with her. 

When you asked why he didn’t, he told you a number of things. Two important ones making the decision for him. One, when he found her, she was on a date with a man who would later become her husband. And two, despite his regrets over the past, he had things waiting for him in the future/present.

He had built friendships with Tony, Natasha, and Sam. And he had Bucky, his best friend since the beginning of time, or at least Steve’s time.

During this session you ask him how it felt to move on, not just from his second chance with Peggy but even before that, when he woke up from being frozen.

He’d started to tell you how hard it was and how he still doesn’t think he has. But he’s interrupted when his phone rings.

Much to your dismays, he has a mission he’s been called on and has to leave.

Before he walks out you stop him,“ you want some happy?” You seriously ask with a joking smile.

That’s how you’d described your powers to him, after he didn’t get the broader description the second time. You told him that you could take away his hurt and pain and give him happy.

Steve shakes his head,“ I’m good actually. Thanks though.”

Usually, with the busy schedules and occupied minds of the team, you have to go in search for your next patient. With Bucky you don’t. In fact you find him waiting just down the hall when you step outside your office.

Even though he wasn’t eager to be sharing his memories and feelings with you, he always made it a point to show up. You appreciated it.

You wave him over and he’s quick to walk down the hall. Bucky steps in behind you and sits on the couch as you shut the door. Despite the comfortability of the furniture he sits up straight, hands rubbing his knees.

When he glances up at you, you smile comfortingly. You sit in your chair, crossing your ankles as you hold on to your fresh cup of tea.

Like always, the super soldier remains nervously silent. It was a few sessions ago that you came to understand why. He isn’t nervous because of you, it’s the idea that he should know what he’s feeling and felt.

The man hasn’t processed an emotion properly in decades only to just recently be introduced to the concept of explaining his emotions. Plus the added anxiety of letting it all in.

Knowing he won’t be the first to speak you ask him,“ you want anything to eat or drink?” 

He’s quick to shake his head. Then looks directly in your eyes, for the first time today,“ do you, um, have any cracker jacks?” 

“I do actually, they’re in the cabinet to the left of the mini fridge.” 

After he’s gotten two boxes, he turns away, before grabbing a bottle of water and then going to sit. 

If it weren’t for Steve you wouldn’t have had any. The man said it reminded him of the “good old days,” getting cracker jacks when he went to see baseball games. Steve usually eats his with a Coke.

“Me and Steve use to buy a bunch of these and sneak them into baseball games. They were always cheaper at stores than the stadium.” 

A fond, nostalgic, smirk plays on his lips and you smile as well.

“Are you also a Dodgers fan? Steve spent our whole first session talking about them.”

When he chuckles you feel good about yourself and focus on his answer.

He nods,“ yeah, I like the Dodgers, but I think the Cubs are better. I used to like the Yankees simply out of loyalty to New York.”

“Do you not like the Yankees anymore?”

A sigh falls from his lips,“ no. They’re not the same. Then again, nothing else is either.” Before you can ask anything else he continues.“ I didn’t really know how to feel about missing decades of time. For a while I just pushed it aside, especially since I didn’t remember anything.”

His long pause makes you a little anxious. He’d started to open up without much from you and you didn’t want that to stop, you couldn’t help if he chose not to continue.

You ask,“ what changed?”

“Steve.” It’s a quick answer. Obviously he’s given this particular topic some thought.“ After my memories started to come back I realized I wasn’t alone in being so out of place. Steve missed just as much time as me and after I got better, after Thanos, it was nice to have someone to remember with.” 

Throughout the session you let him do most of the talking. Every so often he starts to shut down so you prompt him with an easy to answer question that seems to guide him into opening up even further.

By the time it ends, you’re incredibly happy with the progress. Seeing Bucky’s troubled and stressed expression drives you to asking him if he’d like you to take it away.

He was hesitant at first, you know it’s because of his experience with mind altering tricks. You assure him that it’s nothing like that. You don’t take his memories or thoughts away, essentially you pull everything he has to be happy about to the forefront.

Your powers aren’t permanent on anyone but it helps.

The man accepts and while he doesn’t leave with a bubbly smile on his face like Peter does, you can see that his eyes are lighter.

“Thanks for the chat Doc.” He smirks playfully when he mentions your title.“ And thanks for being patient with me.”

You shrug,“ thanks for letting me.”

After he’s left, you sit back down and finish off your tea. 

According to you schedule, your next patient should be Natasha, but that hasn’t been a thing for months.

You can’t help but wonder if it was something you’d done that made her not want to even try. Thinking about it, you’d done nothing but be kind to the woman, offering your help at first but then just telling her you would only listen if that’s what she wanted. Each attempt at reaching out failed miserably with the woman’s emotionless denial. 

One long glance at her name written in your notebook lit something in you and you knew you couldn’t just give up on her.

******

Natasha moves her body effortlessly. 

She uses attack combinations and take down moves that at, one point she thought was too hard to execute, without even thinking.

Which is good. If she, even for a second, allowed too many of her thoughts to break through she’d never stop. She’d become distracted and give her opponent too big a shot to take her down.

If she focuses on anything but doing these moves perfectly she’d fail and she can’t have that.

Yet another groan from the person underneath her causes a smirk to form on her lips. 

“Jesus Nat, we’re sparring you’re not trying to kill me.” 

She lets his wrist go and rolls off his back before offering him a hand.“ I think your retirement is setting in Barton.” She teases.

Rolling his eyes, he rubs his wrist,“ what? I’m in the best shape of my life.” The man mockingly pulls a karate pose.

Natasha laughs, making Clint smile widely. 

With him knowing her so well, it’s good to see the woman happy. Still he hears the heaviness in the laugh and knows that there may always be something holding her back from being genuinely, completely happy.

Part of him wonders if talking about everything would help her. He knows it helps him and he doesn’t miss the light air that’s seemed to encompass his other teammates lately.

Clint formed a greater appreciation for you over that fact. It was about time the team took a shot at healing themselves instead of ignoring their issues to fix the world’s. 

He wasn’t pleased, and still isn’t, to see his best friend so opposed to the help. Natasha is strong but she’s still human and holding everything in the way she does isn’t healthy. 

“Alright,” with yet another groan, he steps off the mats,“ I need to get home or I won’t have a good spot for movie night.” 

He salutes to Natasha’s wave, figuring the woman is going to be in the gym for a while. 

The door almost slams into him with the force that it’s thrown open. Stepping back, he just barely avoids getting hurt.

You stand on the other side, your determined expression slipping to one of shock when you realized you might’ve hit him.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t know you were right there, are you okay?” You rush out.

Chuckling, he nods,“ all good, didn’t even graze me. What’s got you in such a rush?”

As if remembering why you’re there, you go back to being determined.“ Is Miss Romanoff in here?”

“Uh, yeah, she’s over on the mats.”

Nodding with a smile, you march past him further into the gym. 

Clint presses himself against the wall with every intent to listen in, whether Natasha knows he’s there or not. 

The woman is already looking at you when you step into view, trained eyes watching your every move as you approach. An eyebrow quirking in question when you stop at the edge of the mats.

“You didn’t show to our session Miss Romanoff.” 

She’d never heard someone’s tone be equally as warm as it is accusatory. 

She makes no effort to reply.

Moving forward, you step on to the mat, her eyes flickering to your shoe covered feet, then back up to your eyes to see how close you are now. Far enough away to not be overstepping any boundaries but close enough for her to see the fire in your eyes.

Admittedly Natasha is fascinated with seeing the emotion in your eyes. Ever since you got here she’d seen nothing but your perky, optimistic, “everything is going to be alright” attitude. Like this, she feels as though she’s seeing a new, slightly intriguing side to you.

“I know exactly what game you’re playing Natasha,” the way you say her name nearly makes her shiver. She’s not intimidated, but she could be.“ I’m sure you sized me up and categorized me as a certain type of person the second I got here but I can tell you now you were wrong.”

Her head tilts in the slightest, amusement flickering through her eyes. 

You continue,“ I am not going to accept you giving up on yourself.” That right there erases the amusement. Her expression hardens.“ I don’t know anything about you but the fact that you actively avoiding coming to see me is very telling.”

For the first time, since maybe your third day here, Natasha speaks to you. And you’d be lying if you said her voice isn’t as sexy as it is scary.

“Whatever you think you’ve figured out, you haven’t. And this power move that you’re trying to pull isn’t going to work.” Despite her control over her words you feel the emotions pouring from her statement.

The agitation radiates off her and sets your powers alight, almost enough to make you back off. Until you feel it. The smallest, microscopic, bit of fear. It’s buried behind her annoyance with you, and a mountain of other things, but you feel it.

“This isn’t a power move Miss Romanoff. This is me letting you know I’m not giving up on you. I don’t know what it’ll take to get you to come to your sessions but I’m going to try everything I can until it happens.” She’s glaring now but that fear hasn’t left.“ Tony gave me your very detailed file,” she stiffens,“ but I didn’t read it.” Que her surprise.

Her frown this time is a mix of curiosity and annoyance.

“When you come to see me I want you to be comfortable. I don’t want you to think I see you as whoever is on those papers. You will simply be Natasha Romanoff and I will accept whatever you’re willing to give.” You smile softly at the woman and step away.“ I’ll schedule you to come see me on Friday’s, that day is free for me so I will have more than enough time to chat. And you can try avoiding but I will come find you.”

Not leaving even an inch of room to argue, you turn and leave, giving Clint a little goodbye on the way.

It’s quiet for a moment. Natasha and Clint both processing what just happened. Clint gets it first and steps around the corner to look at his best friend.

“I didn’t want to push you into seeing her but after that,” he puffs out some air,“ I think it would be really good for you to go see her. She obviously cares, if that whole thing was to go based off of. She just wants to help, at least let her try.”

With one final smile, he leaves.

Standing on the mats, Natasha thinks. 

You were right. She did categorize you as the type of person who would just accept that she wasn’t coming. And if what you just did was any evidence, she was wrong.

******

taglist: @username23345 @muffliat-o @nat-km-mh 

[ajokeformur-ray]

Darling father, I love all of you more than you’ll ever know.

Summary: A self-indulgent thing which I wrote for myself because honestly, why the hell not?💖 In this, I tell my Father that I know his secret. Something I think of often but I’ve never bothered to write it out. Written in past tense for this reason.😊

Word count: 2, 041.

Self-shipping etc. etc. No obligation to interact.🥰💚

Source

I was slow to put the pieces of the elusive truth together but once I had assembled all of the jagged edges, rationalised the things which didn’t made sense with the logic which was available to me, and done some reflections, it came to me all at once.

Doctor Jekyll and Mr Hyde are one and the same.

Father and Papa are one and the same.

I sat on the truth for several days, turning every piece of ‘evidence’ I had over and over and over in my mind. I almost tortured myself with it. I was smart enough to know not to write anything down. If the papers ended up in the wrong hands or if I lost them, it would be very bad for my parents and for the household overall. I kept everything to myself until I got fed up with my theories and decided to approach the topic by going directly to the source.

Before this point had I only ever known Father and Papa to be separate. Father was kind, gentle and tender. He asked strange questions for seemingly no reason and he was always more than happy to have discussions with me at any point. Papa was rough, coarse and always made me feel safe in how apathetic he was. Those things had never been any different as I was growing up, and I knew that they would never be any different, either, but somehow had these two distinct and opposing personalities become the same fact within just a few weeks, and it had tilted my world upon its axis.

But who could I tell? 

So I kept it to myself until I almost drove myself mad with it.

My parents were aware that there was something up with me. Not wrong, because those are different physical tells, but something was definitely up and though they were at first curious and then concerned as the days went by and my tells only increased with time, they respected my obvious need for alone time and didn’t question me about it.

Until a week to the day when I had first realised the startling truth and showed up in Father’s doorway, shaking. My face was pale and my eyes were red, the surrounding skin blotchy and my cheeks sticky with drying tears. I had never seen my Father stand up so quickly as he shoved his chair back so harshly that it scraped loudly against the floor as he strode across the study and reached me in just seven strides, confident is he when his family is threatened in some kind of way.

Though usually was my Father awkward in his affections, this time there was no hesitation as he wrapped an arm around my middle and pulled me into the room, shutting the large, heavy door with a quiet click before he walked with me over to the fireplace, which was crackling merrily and was the musical accompaniment to my sobbing.

“Erika,” My Father spoke my name and I looked at him, but the kindly and affectionate look of interest in his eyes only brought about a fresh wave of tears, which slid down my face hot and fast. I was beyond the point of being able to speak and he leaned forward in his chair to take both of my hands in his as he lowered me to sit down opposite him. “What is the matter?” Though he spoke calmly, there was a tinge of desperation in his voice, his mind so clearly racing. “Is this about what’s been... bothering you these last days?”

I nodded, clinging to my Father’s hands. I pressed down with my fingers and he immediately understood, for always would my Father hear me, and he opened his fingers so that I could slot mine in the spaces, tightening my hold on him. Father was my grounding in this moment and so perceptive was he that he fulfilled my needs wordlessly, understanding me better than I could ever understand myself.

“Y - you,” Father visibly sat up straighter and he took a deep breath, steadying himself to hear me out without interrupting me. He would hear everything I said, but he would listen to what I didn’t, and so I had to speak carefully. I knew I wasn’t wrong, but now it was just a matter of confession. “Father, you - “ At the thought of what I was going to say, yet another wave of tears coursed down my face and his gaze tightened upon his face. I was being analysed. “What did you do?”

Father froze and his face lost all colour. He looked in that moment as horrified as I felt and he said, “You know.” with a sense of finality. He sounded as though he was choking and I vaguely wondered who was trying to keep who quiet. Was it Papa making it so Father couldn’t speak, or was it Father holding his own self back, as so often did he?

I nodded, secretly relieved that I wouldn’t have to say it, and yet horrified and upset all the more to know that I was right.

“Ho - how could you possibly - ?” 

I smiled. I didn’t often take my Father by surprise, he knew me far too well for that, and a part of me wanted to indulge in the feeling, though my despair and grief for him was too strong for any other emotion to come to the forefront. “All my life, I have never once see you and Papa in the same room together. Not only that, but sometimes you or Papa knows about something I’ve said or done even though one of you wasn’t in the room when it happened, but the other was. Neither of you are the type to gossip so the only logical explanation I could come to in this last week was that you’re...” one and the same. I trailed off; I didn’t need to finish my sentence now that Father and I were on the same page.

Silence filled the room as both of us sought to grab back onto reality, desperately trying to come to terms with what was happening. Father could see what I needed so clearly - to know that my Father was still there and he once more took control of the situation, putting me at ease in the best way he could. “Oh, my dear child. Come here.” Father used his grip on my hands to pull me out of my seat and into his lap, where I have always found safety. I got comfortable in his lap and Father wrapped his arms around me in the way he knew I loved the very most. I felt all the more upset by this and Father allowed me the courtesy of not addressing my tears, knowing that I would be embarrassed if he did. Even now, I was his concern. It made me cry harder somehow and Father and I seemed to realise at the same time that this was to be a late night affair. “What questions do you have for me? There must be something. I have never known you to be without a curiosity.” There was a smile in his voice  and I looked up at my Father just in time to catch the familiar light in his eye which spoke of his pride in me.

I took a deep breath, snuggling into my Father. “Most of it I’ve figured out for myself... I’ve been so careful to put everything together before I came to you with this.” I trailed off but both of us could hear me say, I wanted to make you proud. Father dropped a kiss to the crown of my head to say, I’m always proud of you and this silent but loud admission was everything I needed. 

“Yes,” He mused, “I’m afraid you’ve been upset by this.” He said it not as a question, but as a fact, and I almost wanted to laugh at the understatement. Almost.

“How could I not be? You...”  I took a deep breath to steady myself. Be brave for him, Erika. “I... I have two questions. I’m not sure I want to know the answers but at the same time...”

A hand smoothed down my hair. “Your thirst for knowledge is very much like my own. Speak freely then, Erika, and I shall endeavour to satiate your curiosity.” As much as I didn’t want to know, Father didn’t want to tell, and a heavy silence fell which we both hesitated to break, but this was a needed conversation.

I shifted in Father’s lap so that I could look him in the eyes. “Does it...” I closed my eyes and Father found one of my hands and squeezed it to encourage me. “How badly does it hurt you? It can’t be easy.” Tears fell anew and this time Father did address my tears, wiping them away with the soft pads of his thumbs. “And what - do I have to have this talk with Papa, too, or does he - can he hear me? Do you both remember what the other has experienced or - “

Father held a hand up to silence me, sensing that I was beginning to lose control over myself as everything which I had held inside for the last week came spilling out like a tap had been turned on and left to run. “Breathe, Erika.”

I did as he said and felt as the heat inside my head began to subside. My own emotions could be vented when I was alone but for now, I had to concentrate. I had approached Father of my own accord and now I was getting the answers I had been wanting for so long. 

“It’s a terrible pain when we transform from one to the other. I’m the... original, so to speak, and Mr. Hyde, your Papa,” A wry smile, for we both knew how deeply I had always been connected to him, “Is the second self.” To hear of the pain was more than I could take and I cried anew in grief for him. Father was analysing me again as he answered my question. “I’m not... sure what Mr Hyde feels when he’s inside me. When he’s in control it is as if I fall asleep and the events which occurred are but a stain of breath upon a mirror.” A pause and then, “What upsets you so?”

“You - the pain. Why would you do that to yourself?”

Father took a deep breath to steady himself and then, “I did not foresee... how bound up he and I would become in each other. I had no conception of what was to come. He had surely liberated me as much as he has imprisoned me, and I know not which is the worst.”

Silence fell once more, marked only by our out of sync breathing and the grandfather clock which had been sat upon the mantel of the fireplace for as long as I could remember. There was everything and nothing to say. But there was something beneath my tongue, something which I needed to say even if Father already knew it, and because of the way I was sitting, Father saw it immediately. He saw my hesitation, too, and he smiled kindly, though he said nothing. 

“I love all of you, Father. There’s nothing...” I smiled, daring myself to say it but knowing I would anyway, “either of you could do which would make me love you any less or be any less proud to have you as my parent. I love you so much it hurts.”

Silence fell once more, for Father and I knew each other well enough to be able to communicate without words. The way he was holding me was a reciprocation of my love for him, and I snuggled back into where I was most comfortable and though my tears continued to flow, I felt once more at peace with myself for having had this moment with my Father. I knew not what the future held, but that didn’t matter - I had my parents. What more did I need?

[prettywordsyouleft]

Miss Writer

Pairing: Brian Kang x female reader

World: To Be Continued

Genre: writer au / fluff

Warnings: none

A/N: So I had no intentions of returning to the TBC world so soon, but as you can read below, I had a bit of trouble trying to write something for 2021 and this is the result of my nonsense thoughts at the time. I really am happy I wrote this as it feels like a good opening act for what’s to come this year!

Word count: 1558

“Hey! Did you hear about the writer who didn’t want to write?”

“They what?”

“She sat there for hours on end, just avoiding every idea that came to mind.”

“But why? Aren’t writers meant to write?”

“Why am I writing this?” you complained out loud, sighing heavily and leaning back in your computer chair. Staring at the basic dialogue in your word document, you groaned.

Why was it so hard to write?

You had been through this before. Where the words wouldn’t flow the right way, and your characters felt hollow.

But that was because Brian wasn’t in the story at the time.

You couldn’t solve this the way you had back then either. Once Brian had gone back into the world he had stepped out of, you finished the story without any further mishaps. In this case, you didn’t have any other fictional characters stepping out of any novel you had written to send back in. You didn’t even have a character to write about.

That was no doubt the whole problem.

“Miss Writer,” a voice called out, and you turned, smiling warmly at the man leaning against the threshold. Brian tipped his head in your direction. “How’s it going? Is your next bestseller getting ready to leap onto the pages?”

“Ha! At the rate I’m going, I might as well retire.”

“What?” Walking over to your side, Brian then leaned down to inspect your laptop’s screen. “You’ve written only four lines in two hours.”

“Four lines are better than none, though, I can’t say they’re four impressive lines,” you muttered, pouting up at the man. “I’m broken.”

“Shall I fix you?” he murmured, leaning down to kiss you. His lips were almost on yours when the doorbell rang. Brian heaved in a heavy breath. “If that’s Sungjin, I swear…”

“It’s probably Lily,” you mentioned with a knowing smile, climbing out of your chair and heading down to the front door to answer it. When you swung it open, however, you merely stared back at the woman standing there.

“Can we help you?” Brian asked from over your shoulder, right when you gasped noisily. “Y/N?”

“You’re… you’re… no way.”

Sungjin leaned around the side of the house and grinned. “Y/N! You need to stop making people so realistic that they come to life.”

“I’m confused,” Brian announced as you began to bounce with excitement, reaching out to touch the woman’s hand before you.

She grabbed it warmly and grinned at you. “I’m so amazed to finally meet you!”

“Ella,” you murmured and then glanced at Sungjin standing all too protectively at her side. “You found your Constable.”

“Ella?” Brian echoed and then lurched forward, leaning over you. “Ella from the Protector story?!”

Ella nodded and held out her hand to Brian. “You must be the first of our kind, Brian Kang, right?”

“Our kind?”

“Well, I had to explain it somehow to Ella,” Sungjin admitted with a chuckle. “It’s not every day that characters step out of documents, now is it?”

“Maybe that’s why I can’t write,” you murmured, watching the instant despair cross over your friend’s face, whilst a smug smile appeared on your partner’s. Rolling your eyes, you shunted Brian in the side before stepping aside and letting them inside. “Come, I promise this time I’m more equipped to dealing with my characters in the flesh. I won’t be fainting this time.”

“I’m starting to get worried now,” Brian confessed later in the evening as he carried your cat Binks around. “If Ella’s here too, who’s going to be next?”

“Well, considering I can’t seem to create anyone, you won’t have a problem any time soon.”

Brian pointed at you in warning. “Don’t you dare go opening Destined’s file.”

“Ooh, now there’s an idea!” you teased, grinning at Brian as you approached him. Stretching up to kiss him softly, you shook your head. “I doubt I could love anymore more than you if I tried.”

“And you always say I’m the charmer yet here you are causing my heart to go erratic with lines like that,” Brian stated with a giddy smile, his eyes disappearing and turning into little crescents.

“Well, you can’t be the one with the upper hand all the time.”

“Miss Writer.”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think Ella is the problem this time. I think you’re just putting too much pressure on your shoulders.”

“Pressure?” you repeated with a frown and Brian placed Binks down before nodding at you. “Of course, I’m under pressure! I have to get my first chapter to Lily by next week, and I have nothing, not even a name.”

“You’re trying to write the next best thing, aren’t you?”

“That’s the whole concept of being an author, Brian. Writing something better than your last story. We’re always on the path of personal growth during this journey, Brian.”

“I know,” he agreed initially, rubbing your shoulders affectionately. You let out a small whine, not realising how tense your body was until he touched you. Brian instantly moved behind you and started working out the knots residing there. He stopped, leaning close to your ear. “But can’t you just write something for fun?”

“Fun?”

“Isn’t that the whole point of writing? To enjoy the world you create. You’ve been non-stop since I’ve known you. Before my world, you write a four part series with Jinyoung, then a three part series with me and Charli. Right after that, you completed Protector, and now you’re looking to follow that up as quickly as you can even though it’s only in the publication stages.”

Brian stepped around to face you, his face growing concerned. “Why don’t you slow down? Write something just for yourself.”

“I have. I wrote you into existence,” you reminded, and Brian slid his hands around your waist and tugged you closer. Placing your palms upon his chest, you gazed up at him lovingly. “I have to write something worth publishing.”

“Do you?”

“Huh?”

“Why not write something that the world will never see?” Brian offered and you chewed on your bottom lip in thought. “I think you’ve forgotten the joy of writing just for yourself, Miss Writer.”

The following morning, you sat at your desk deep in thought. Brian’s words had played over in your mind throughout the night and still were at the forefront of your mind now.

Did he think you had lost your personal enjoyment along the way as an author?

“Hey, that can’t be right,” you hummed, shaking your head before posing your index finger back up to your lips.

Had you?

The last time you had written something just for your own pure enjoyment was Destined. Sure, you had been excited by your ideas ever since, and laughed, cried, grown frustrated and been endlessly happy with the words you had crafted. But you were also contracted to write down those words. Since the third part of Destined, you had been signed under the publishing house you belonged to and had written consistently since. You hadn’t taken any time to write for yourself, aside from short stories here and there when you didn’t feel like working on a bigger story.

Even though you had enjoyed the journey thus far, it hadn’t been one you took alone.

“Maybe Brian’s right,” you said, blinking a couple of times before reaching into the top drawer of your desk for your external hard-drive. Glancing at the clock to see how much time you had left before Brian got home from running errands, you took in a deep breath, opening up your older fiction files.

Back here you were full of naivety and fresh ideas. The world was your oyster, as the saying went, and you had been hoarding many of them. As you scanned the title of projects you once hoped to write, you shook your head in amazement.

“There’s so many ideas here that I haven’t tried yet,” you breathed, stopping on one and clicking to expand the notes on it. “Wow, an enemies to lovers story.”

You continued to make your way through, finding an assortment of ideas. From fluff to angst, and all those in between, you had ample inspiration here to fill an entire year of stories.

“Should I indulge myself in writing these for a bit and come back to writing my next novel at a later date?” you wondered, your smile growing as your computer’s cursor hovered over an idea that piqued your interest.

“I’m back!” a voice called out and you spun around in your chair, leaping up and dashing into the arms of the man you loved. Brian chuckled. “Well, I missed you too!”

“You were right! Instead of looking for the best idea for my next story, I need to take some time off and write for me.”

“I was, huh?” he mused with satisfaction, cupping your face within his hands. “So what do you plan to write next?”

“I have so many ideas! There’s general domestic stories and a murder mystery, some periodic pieces about pilots and regency era based ideas. Of course, there’s a bunch of fluffy ideas, with a few royal au ones and even pirates! But you know, there’s one I really want to try first.”

“Which is?”

You grinned before poking his nose fondly. “You’ll just have to wait and find out what’s to come.”

_________________

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[defdaily]

‪[TRANSLATION] Nylon Korea Magazine June 2020 issue: JB's defined taste.

Translated by defdaily.

just JB

From GOT7’s leader to main vocal and even lead dancer… in other words, he is a multiplayer, and an all-rounder. We were in the midst of preparing the interview, and the editor who was researching JB could already come to know that all that was true even before meeting him. JB, who we meet on stage and on his own personal Soundcloud channel, really does well in everything. We were getting more and more curious about him before having met him. On the day of the cover shooting, we proceeded with the photoshoot first then had the interview after. Watching JB who was in the middle of his shoot, I could see that there are even more things that he is good at. While we talked about the concept and mood for the day, he faintly smiled and answered that he understood. And when he entered the shoot, we heard his answer even more clearly. He wiped the smile that he just had off his face and immediately showed through his actions that he understood what we talked about. In life, opportunities and good fortune are like a random game play but after seeing him we realised that it all came to find him. JB seemed as if he already knew that yet he was never impatient. I hope JB’s intelligent and sexy energy is relayed to Nylonias too.

“I’m doing music now, but be it vocals or dance, I’m not drawn to a particular side. They’re both similarly balanced, but the way I think about them is a little different. Singing is something I definitely want to do well, as for dancing, I want to have fun doing it. It’s good to be a good dancer. It would be really nice to be good at dancing, but since my aim for dancing is to enjoy it, rather than thinking ‘How can I dance better?’ ‘How can I dance more coolly?’, it’s more important that I enjoy myself and receive good energy while dancing.”

http://nylonmedia.co.kr/jb/#

Due to COVID-19, everyone’s daily lives have changed. How has JB’s life changed?

My time at home has expectedly increased. I play with the cats and sometimes go out for a walk. When I go out, I either go to my studio or even when meeting with friends, we try to choose places that are not crowded. It’s a period of time when we should all be careful so I think that we should do whatever we can.

Were you originally someone who spent a lot of time at home. There is a term “homebody” that reflects those tendencies.

There was a time when I stayed home and didn’t do anything for a few months, but I really felt stressed then. I realised then that being home alone too much isn’t good for you. But of course going out everyday is also tiring physically (laughs). That balance is important and when you’re at home, rather than lying down, collapsing and watching TV, it’s better to watch a film that you can relate to or read a book. I do those kinds of things at home.

When you were younger, you said all you did was dance. It could be a cliche question but what is dance to you? Isn’t the one thing that has been with JB or a long time.

The answer could be obvious but to me dance is something that feels like life and livelihood. Since young, rather than practising choreography that has already been set, it became a habit that I could dance freestyle to music that is being played. I don’t know, to me choreography is choreography and dance is dance, to me there is this distinction.

What standards do you think stand at the forefront of dance?

To me, I also consider nodding your head to music that is playing as dance. I think that’s my reply because I feel that  dance is an expression of your current feelings. In the past, something like that happened. When I was walking the streets and suddenly heard a song that I know despite it not being me who played it. Then I would suddenly start dancing. It happened when I was young, but now that I’m thinking about it, it’s a bit embarrassing (laughs)

It seemed like you were enjoying the rhythms of the songs that were being played on set today too.

Music that is my taste played so I was having fun while listening.

To many people, music is a hobby. But for JB that has turned into a career, has there not been times when it has been stressful?

While making music, the times when I can’t seem to create anything are the times (when it is most stressful) or when I had a certain thought or intention while making the song but it is interpreted differently. At those times I think, “Ah that’s not really it?”. Rather than stress, it’s a bit closer to regret.  When songs are not coming to mind, I often think, “Why can’t I think of anything?”, “Do I really not have any talent?” too. But you’re making something out of nothing so it can’t be helped that you collapse at times during the process. I also look back at myself. The stress I had at that time couldn’t be helped. I should put up with it.  

What do you think about while working on your music these days?

Being unlike myself? That’s the part I pay attention to the most. If a song turns out to be unlike me but not over-exaggeratedly, I think ‘oh that’s pretty good’ and can accept it. I try to avoid songs that are too like myself since it can be predictable.

I thought you would be the opposite and make music like yourself instead.

Because it feels like I’m locked up, so I don’t like that.

Do you think you have shown enough of songs that are like yourself?

That is not the case either. As JB, I’m the type to make songs like myself when making music for GOT7. Rather than myself, it has to be more like GOT7’s colour, so I think about that a lot. It’s not that I don’t like music that is like myself.

You seem to be the type that makes plans to clear things out and get them done.

I also have a spontaneous side. But I generally am the type to make plans. If I set my mind and think, “Let’s do this” then in the end I will end up getting it done.

Many people like JB as a singer. You may not have started with singing from the beginning, but you are now the main vocalist of GOT7 and worthy (of the position). What comes to mind when you look back at yourself as a vocalist.

I like my tone but I also don’t like it. Actually, I do think my tone matches well with bright moods or intense music but personally I think it has lacking points. I think it‘s too strong and bright, so I work hard to balance that out.

Is there another artist's tone that you think is good these days?

I often listen to Crush’s music, and I envy his soft tone.

When I see JB's collaborations with various artists, it‘s interesting how a new tone comes out each time.

That’s because I tailor it to whatever is needed each time. Sometimes it's fascinating to me too, that I express things differently depending on who I work with and how I came to meet them. I think vocal tone can be seen as an instrument that makes the music.

Fair skin and cold eyes, sharp nose and jawline, large build, twin moles. As they say, the image of a simple country boy and a cold city man seem to coexist. What is something people around you tell you is really cool about you?

People around me would never say that. Honestly, friends don't really talk about what's cool about each other right? We just curse and get cursed. (Laughs) Well, I know what I think (is cool) about myself.

We’re curious about that too.

Sexiness. Actually it’s more so the thought that I should certainly move forward possessing sexiness.

Is this something you’ve decided that represents you?

If we have to say that, then let's go with cute sexy.

Aren't you being too ambitious?

It’s just my own thoughts. (Laughs) In the past, I would have replied with ‘being free’. I thought that being myself without hesitation was a strength. But these days, it's more of a point that I have to fix rather than a strength. In reality I'm a very free-spirited person, but I don't think that is the right personality for celebrities or public figures.

Did something happen that might have made you feel that way?

I like being honest. But even I think I have a personality that can be misunderstood easily. Like peers my age, I sometimes talk without a filter when I'm excited. But I've been thinking, "Don't we need to manage our image?" Not a lot though. (Laugh)

You seem to be free-spirited, but with rules and such, you seem to be disciplined and have firm standards.

I always upkeep my own line/standard.  I’m not always on the clouds. It's the same for myself and also my friends around me, even for the members, if they cross the line, I am the type to calmly tell them “don’t you think maybe you shouldn’t say/do that?”.

You seem to be the type to say “that’s not it” right away when something is wrong.

Well, I think if I wait to say something, they might feel worse about it. So I’m the type to just say it right there and then that we should be more careful.

I’ve seen an interview in the part where the GOT7 members did not hesitate to say “JB is our leader. There is no other candidate.” But to be honest, being a leader, you can’t not have many burdens and responsibilities.

(Laugh) In the past that was the case so I used to get a lot of stress, but nowadays it’s not the case. Now everyone takes care of themselves and they’re all reliable. At some point, I started thinking that continuously saying "Let's do this" and "Let's do that" is starting to sound nagging. I don’t want that so unless it’s something that needs to be stopped, I don’t say much. Once I was really out of it so I asked Jinyoung to take care of team matters, he did really well so I’ve been leaning on Jinyoung a lot since then.

It feels like a president and vice president.

Nowadays I’m the vice president. (Laugh). I reinforce what Jinyoung says, I don’t interrupt and pretend to act like the head of the group.

Since GOT7 is a team of multi-national members, it would not have been easy to agree on things because of language and cultural differences.

The members are all very good at Korean, so there have never been any times when problems arose due to language issues. When we talk about our opinions, we ask, 'Okay so how do you want to go about this?' And then we go with the majority. This method is the most simple and fair.

Outside of your role as JB in GOT7, is Jaebeom the type to lead in friendships?

Not at all. In a friendship group, there’s always that one person who’s so quiet you don’t know if he’s there or not, right? That’s me. (Laughs) If you call for me, I’ll go out and have fun. But I’m not the type to go “ya~~~” to lead and start up the mood. (My character) is a character that disappears quietly after having fun together.

The latest mini album received a great response. It ranked No. 1 on iTunes music charts in more than 50 countries around the world. Domestic music charts and record sales were also overwhelming..

Out of ambition, I did hope it would be better. It is important for my name and the team’s name to be more known, however I hoped our music would reach more people.  

Looking at GOT7 onstage, everyone thinks you are a group that stands out with your performance.

We can be proud of that. It’s the thing we pay most attention to since we’re in GOT7. Now we also have some years of experience, so I think our skills should live up to that too. I thought that it’s a time when the team shouldn’t simply be releasing albums. I think we have to work hard so people go “ah great” when watching our performances.

Previously when we were doing the shoot, there was a cut that was a little revealing. Do you work out? There was a time when you were chosen as GOT7’s rep for having a “good body”.

These days I’m intending to start exercising again. And I usually don’t take things such as nutritional supplements, but I’ve come to think they’re important so recently, I stopped by a pharmacy to buy a variety of vitamins and probiotics etc and I eat them every morning.

Was there something that prompted that or did it just come to mind?

I’ve had a lot of interest in fashion, but I don’t really pay a lot of attention to my looks. I’ve come to realise recently that how you look is also part of fashion so I ‪want to take better care of myself. (Laughs) My body is the type to get big easily when I exercise so instead I tried to just lose weight by not eating. But I felt that my condition was starting to get out of control too so I told myself, “Ok, let’s combine (what we’ve done previously) with exercise as well and create a healthy body!”

How long have you been taking nutritional supplements for?

It’s barely been a week. (Laughs) I’m not sure if it’s because of my mood, but I already feel like I'm getting healthier. I woke up at 9 this morning. But I didn’t feel tired or anything, I felt so refreshed so I’m starting to believe more and more in the magic of nutritional supplements.

When we were talking about charms; you mentioned the term sexiness. What does JB think sexiness is?

How do I say this. Rather than forcibly thinking ‘I’m fatal’, true sexiness comes out in a natural situation or moment. Also when someone is working hard on what they do. I am also working hard on my job, and I especially pay attention to the atmosphere created by lyrics or songs. I think that sexiness comes to be when you naturally get caught in that kind of place.

Then what do you think being cool is?

When someone acknowledges their own weakness (problem) and knows how to take that in. Even if they can't fix it straightaway, they think about it once more, and are able to say 'I'm sorry’ or even discuss the issue more. That's what I think 'being cool' is.

Honestly when someone hears words that aren’t very kind, even though in your head you know what you should do, sometimes it’s hard to control facial expressions.

On the contrary, when hearing such things, if it was me I’d say ‘I fully understand what you mean. But to be honest, it doesn’t feel good.”  After acknowledging what I did wrong, I am the type to honestly express how I feel at that moment. Then I ask for some time if I need it or find the cause (of why I feel this way).

You seem to be someone that hates ambiguity.

But there are times when I act ambiguous too. Despite hating things like that. (Laughs) Sometimes I think ‘Am I this hypocritical?’ And have a hard time because of it, but again I guess everyone is like that in a way.

Translated by defdaily.

[makeste]

some brief musings on why Kacchan is still going to lose his quirk

(and why that may ultimately be a good thing.)

so first of all, let me just say that Deku and Kacchan are still very much in danger. much as I hate to say it. thing is, Horikoshi didn’t go to the trouble of separating them from the others for no reason. so while it may be a few more chapters until they fall under the cool, calculating gaze of our bloodthirsty mangaka once again, they’re definitely not out of the woods yet.

and in the meantime, while their encounter with Tomura was so brief you almost have to question whether it was completely inconsequential, it did accomplish several things of note:

it scared the absolute SHIT out of the both of them and maybe now they will take this seriously???

it gave Endeavor the chance to learn that there is a thing called One for All, and that whatever the hell this thing is, apparently Midoriya might have it...? kids these days and their nonsense.

it gave Aizawa the same opportunity. ‘Midoriya and Bakugou... is he... after the two of them...?!’ and seeing as those are his kids, it’s a pretty safe bet he’s not going to drop this until he actually gets an answer. (which, honestly, about time??)

and last but not least, it allowed Bakugou to give a rousing speech and to have an internal monologue about how he’s been keeping up with Deku so far and he intends to keep doing so.

which brings me to the main subject of this post.

sorry kiddo. but having an entire scene devoted to establishing that you’re still full of pride, and still keeping pace with your rival, and how you won’t lose, and how he’s still trailing in your shadow same as always...

...doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence that all of that optimism isn’t about to come crashing down around you.

he has come so far. he has grown so much. he’s learned how to save others. he’s learned to acknowledge his own weaknesses. he’s learned how to work alongside his childhood friend rival. and he’s learned how to be selfless in the heat of the moment, even if he doesn’t realize it yet. slowly learning the meaning of “my body just moved before I could think.”

but his ego is still holding him back. his pride, and his desire to win, which I should stress is not at all a bad thing in and of itself (on the contrary, it’s what spurs that very growth I was talking about. it motivates him to keep striving forward, and inspires the others around him to also do their best). but what is bad about it is the way that it’s consistently at odds with his better self. how it hinders his compassion and empathy. because he sees those things as “weak”, and weakness = losing. and nowhere is this more starkly apparent than in his relationship with Deku.

even now, even after all the progress the two of them have made, he still stubbornly persists in doing this bizarre and ridiculous thing of framing every single aspect of their relationship, and every single one of their interactions, solely in terms of rivalry and power levels. of winning and losing. like, it is wild, though. to better illustrate this, please consider the following sample selection of Bakugou Thought Processes.

working together with Deku = losing to Deku (so I won’t do it)

oh no wait, working together with Deku = passing the exam = getting stronger = beating Deku (so I’ll do it)

getting kidnapped = being weak = losing to Deku (so I will be very sad and frustrated about it)

Deku being chosen as All Might’s successor while I bring about the end of All Might = ...do I really need to explain this one lol

[new input!!]: learning from Deku = getting stronger?? = becoming the best hero = beating Deku!! (so I will do it!)

feeling guilty about being a giant shit to Deku = needing to ask for Deku’s forgiveness = losing to Deku (...shit)

worrying about Deku = admitting that you care about Deku = see above = (so I won’t do it) (I won’t) (I won’t)

I really am grateful to this latest chapter for providing that rare bit of insight into the workings of his mind. lulz. 

so yeah! that’s where we’re at, apparently. where we are still at. so how, then, do we eventually move forward from here? and if you look at all of Katsuki’s previous breakthroughs (after his loss to Deku; after he was forced to team up with Deku in the final exam; and after Kamino), all of them only happened after he was brought down a peg. after his walls of ego and pride were cracked, and he was humbled and forced to look at things from the perspective he hates more than anything else. the perspective of “losing.”

and so now his relationship with Deku is being thrust back into the forefront again. and we’re being shown that for him, all of the things he’s learned about What it Means to Be a Hero and What Our Strength is For and etc. etc. etc. are all still jumbled up in this tangled web of thoughts about beating Deku, don’t lose to Deku, I’m keeping up with him, I’m not gonna lose. and again, the problem isn’t that he wants to win! the problem is that all of his own self-worth, his entire self-image, is completely caught up within this one concept.

winning is who he is. being the best is who he is. but that’s all he is. his thought process still doesn’t go any further past there. he can’t answer the question of “what is your strength for” because he doesn’t know. his sense of self is so intricately tied up in the concept of strength because he has always been strong. his fears are so intricately tied to the concepts of losing and weakness because he has always been strong. because he doesn’t know the answer to the question of: but who are you if all of that strength is ever peeled away?

and if he ever wants to be able to answer that once and for all, he needs to gain perspective once again. he needs to lose again. just this one last time.

Deku was once quirkless. Kacchan becoming quirkless would be the ultimate karmic act of balance between them, the ultimate humbling experience. it would force him to shed his remaining pride once and for all, the pride that’s still blinding him and preventing him from figuring out what it is that he’s missing. he’d be forced to reckon with the feeling of being powerless in a world where everyone else has power. forced to try and understand what it is that gives worth to people beyond just strength. forced to finally acknowledge that there are different kinds of strength, something he has always intuitively known since he was a young child (otherwise he would never have feared Deku), but was never was able to fully understand. because Deku’s strength was forged by him growing up in a world where he had no choice but to look within himself in order to find those core, essential qualities that truly make one a hero, with or without a quirk. compassion. selflessness. persistence in the face of doubt. kindness in the face of apathy. hope and courage in the face of fear.

so yeah. it may just be that in order to finally realize what true strength means, Katsuki needs to first let go of his old ideas of strength entirely. and I’d be lying at this point if I said I wasn’t excited about the possibility that this kind of storyline might really be about to happen now. not just because of the angst (although I won’t pretend that isn’t also a part of it because let’s be real), but because no other character in BnHA has come further than Bakugou. no other character has started from such an insane place of “holy shit they’re really doing everything wrong”, only to acknowledge that, and to say “okay yeah, I get it, I want to do better, show me what to do and I’ll do it”, and then to actually do it.

and I want him to continue to grow. I want him to successfully reach the end of his character development journey. and so if this is what needs to happen next in order for him to do that? to reach his goal? to understand what he wants to be, who he wants to be? then fuck it. bring it on.

[the-blue-fairie]

On what #bringelsahome COULD BE vs. what it has become...

Sometimes, I become sad because one of the first things I wrote after viewing Frozen 2 was a short ficlet repudiating Elsa’s line in Show Yourself as she was approaching Ahtohallan that “I’m arriving / and it feels like I am home.” You can read that ficlet here if you want to.

In that ficlet, I was expressing frustration with the fact that Show Yourself was connecting the concept of “home” with Ahtohallan and connections found through memory and the past instead of the living, breathing connections that can be found in life. In that ficlet, I was also disputing the film’s concept of change because, as I wrote, “Home is not a lineage, a source, a gift. Gifts are given. Home, you make for yourself. Each step, a step forward. Not into the cold ancestral wonder of Ahtohallan, but into the warmth of the future. Holding tight to those she loved was not the absence of change. It was change itself, each day carving out a new shape, a new bejeweled crystal more fabulous than any on the glacier.” And I ended that ficlet repudiating Ahtohallan and having Elsa turn back to the home she has made in Arendelle with Anna, Kristoff, Olaf, and Sven. It was a ficlet born deeply out of my love of this image:

Now, the scary thing for me now is that there are parallels between my sentiments then and the... what do I call it? aggressive stance?... to #bringelsahome, which is rather unpleasant for me because that aggressive stance has become an excuse for racism and toxicity which I absolutely do not want to be associated with.

 But I’ve been thinking about something that @themountainsays mused about, and that @hb-pickle​ added to, asking what the ultimate goal of #bringelsahome actually is - because if the most hostile people actually wanted to change people’s minds or reach the creators, all they’ve managed to do is burn bridges and undermine their own cause.

I mean, look at me, when it comes to them burning bridges. I have conflicting feelings about F2′s ending and I’ve offered critiques of it - but the loudest members of #bringelsahome won’t look at those critiques because I openly reject the racism and toxicity that they push forward. 

But at the same time, there’s also a part of me that... understands where the basic sentiment to “bringelsahome” comes from and that’s gotten me to thinking about what #bringelsahome could be vs. what it has become.

I have friends who remain devastated by the ending of Frozen 2, and most of these friends have largely left the Frozen fandom either because they simply want to move on to other pastures or, even though they dislike Frozen 2, they’d rather not have any association with BEH - which... can you blame them?

But the pain of these friends, a pain they do not express in a toxic way, speaks to what #bringelsahome could be if it wasn’t rotted to the core by this point by racist rhetoric and aggression.

That pain actually emerges from a deep connection to Elsa and a valuing of Elsa’s connections to other people. These friends I’ve spoken with often reference a deep anguish that Elsa’s journey in Frozen 2 is structured so that she sheds traveling companions across the whole adventure - leaving Kristoff behind, leaving Anna and Olaf behind, going it alone when there is strength in working together and shorts like Frozen Fever and OFA highlight how when this found family works together, it has a positive impact on Elsa.

They wanted to see Elsa trusting Anna’s judgment, not pushing Anna and Olaf away in the ice boat, not falling into the same mistakes she did in the past... and their pain was heightened by the fact that, when Elsa seemed to fall back into those same mistakes, the film never really circled back to that or addressed it again... even when the film went out of its way to point out that Anna and even Olaf was angry. 

And... yes, it’s valid to say that Olaf - the most innocent and childlike character - becoming angry feels like a turning point of some kind... which then goes nowhere and that the film does nothing with. That’s a valid criticism of something that feels disjointed and off about F2.

And... I’d even argue that it’s valid to say that Elsa feels off at times over the course of Frozen 2 - and I’d put that down to, well, Elsa being “too much” for Disney. She means too many things for too many people. Her basic metaphor resonated with countless people - more than Disney ever imagined - and now they have to preserve that popularity, but the writers are trapped within the incredibly restrictive Disney system. They can’t make Elsa openly gay because the Mouse loves making money and making money means appealing to the broadest crowd, including the homophobes. And they want to keep Elsa broadly relatable so they try to lean into he concept of “magic” as an aspect of Elsa’s difference and also “explaining” that magic because certain people wanted an “explanation” for Elsa. 

But the problem with that vague (and therefore, in the film’s hope, broadly relatable) magic metaphor is that it’s vague and, unlike the previous movie, not really tethered to Elsa’s connections with people. The first movie, while it still used the metaphor of “magic as difference” grounded that metaphor in Elsa’s interactions with her sister, with the people of Arendelle, with how other human beings interact with her and the deeply human aspect of Elsa’s love for those other human beings. Frozen 2, in contrast, could have that... but it doesn’t.

I’ve argued several times over that Elsa’s arc in F2 would be stronger if the filmmakers had deeply enriched Elsa’s connection with the Northuldra, gave us more scenes of her bonding with her mother’s people, more scenes that expanded the Northuldra characters’ development. Maybe even start the film out with the deleted prologue focused on Iduna so we get the Northuldra’s perspective right fom the start and we can connect Iduna’s pain with Elsa’s own feeling of otherness.

Frozen 2... only gives a few brief scenes of Elsa with the Northuldra and has her shed members of her found family across the film... so F2 loses a human element that he first film never lost sight of. The “magic-as-difference” metaphor has to work more as metaphor, without the same human emotional grounding as the first film.

And because we don’t get those scenes with Elsa and the Northuldra and the film chooses to have Elsa leave behind members of her found family, I can understand why people would feel Elsa feels off in F2.

Because the film seems to care more about Elsa’s connection to magic than her humanity. That’s why there are several incidences of Elsa bonding with the spirits - and far less of her bonding with Northuldra characters.

This actually speaks to a legitimate, valid critique of the film - and people could use it to point out flaws in the film. Moreover, a critique like this could even be antiracist because it would be advocating for the expansion of the role of the Northuldra and more scenes of Elsa bonding with and learning about her mother’s people.

Critique actually has an important place within fandom - and critique can actually benefit the filmmakers if it is valid and valuable critique. Asking, “Why does F2 seem to care more about Elsa’s magic than her humanity and how does that undermine her arc?” is actually a valuable question. If the filmmakers reflected on it, then in a potential Frozen 3, they could make sure to reject the negative implications of distancing Elsa’s humanity. They could pause to think, “Oh, we didn’t INTEND to suggest this, maybe, but our second film did kind of give those implications, so let’s avoid those implications next time.” By EXPANDING the Northuldra characters. By reinforcing Elsa legitimately working together with her found family instead of feeling she has to go on alone.

That’s what bringelsahome could be - a movement to point out flaws in the film and a better way forward for the betterment of future projects.

Unfortunately, that’s not what it is - since the racism of certain people at its forefront has corroded it from the inside.

But I still find that tragic, because... it could have actually been something valuable. And there are aspects to it that still could be something valuable. And I still know many people out there with legitimate critiques who can’t voice their feelings about F2 because they disagree with Isa’s racism, so it doesn’t matter to Isa if they dislike F2; in her eyes, you’re either with her or against her...