#also this man is in his 30s and just had his first living child

[thestressedsimmer]

August 6th, 1315: The Ezzo Farm

As her pregnancy progressed, Vanna did her very best to get a hold of herself and upkeep the house despite her dizzy spells. Adamuccio, meanwhile, managed to finally get in some archery practice.

He'd enjoyed it when he was a young boy but with his large farm, he'd not been able to practice very much.

It was while Vanna was napping, resting after cleaning her house, that she felt the first stabs of labor pains.

She was a rather heavy sleeper, so for pain to wake her? It had to be an extremely harsh pain.

The pain was followed by a rush of water. It terrified her to her core but it also hurt. She had known that labor was harsh and involved a lot of screaming, but she didn't realize that this was why those women were screaming.

Why did they continue to have babies? Is it some kind of cruel joke from the Watcher?

A part of her was grateful that there weren't many chores to be done around the farm right now because it meant her husband could be present for her labor.

He was a source of strength. Her rational brain would want to kick herself for saying such a thing since his work puts food on their table and lack of it put them in serious danger, but she didn't know how she would do this without him.

That thought only became stronger (while she could still think) as she was ushered to bed. Finally, it would be time to meet their baby. And find out if they were having a boy or a girl.

While it was unseemly for a man to be with a woman during birth, they weren't fancy people. They were the poorest of the poor and couldn't afford a midwife, even with their community offering support.

As her labor progressed, her husband never once left her side. Vanna had never felt such pain in her life, she felt as if she was dying.

But Adamuccio kept her grounded. Kept reminding her that if she doesn't do this, her child would never be born and she would never get to meet him or her.

That was enough to help her find strength.

She screamed, burying her face in her husband's shoulder as she pushed... and pushed... and pushed.....

Finally, she heard a cry. She was flooded with relief as she reached towards her husband - who handed her a perfect little son.

"Sul sul, nooboo." She whispered to him; marveling at the fact that he seemed to stop crying once he was in her arms.

[fumiliar]

CAN WE PLS GET OLDER BF TOJI HEADCANNONS PLS PRETTY PLS 🙏

(LOVE YOUR WORK BTW!!!)

TYSMM! i hope you like it!😵‍💫

✎...toji is in his late 30s (he lives!) and reader is in her early 20s. megumi is a toddler and he keeps him.

you were the one who chased older bf!toji, you manifested this man. ever since you met him in your apartment gym, you've been trying to get close with him. you started to gym when he went to the gym, asking him for help to carry the weight because you were inexperienced. slowly but surely, you started to develop a relationship with toji, talking to him when it was unrelated to exercise.

older bf!toji who was scared to ask you out on a date. you were so young! he on the other hand, was a widow, a single father and 15+ years older than you. he could've been your father! all these thoughts subsided when he saw you waiting in front of the gym for him. "hi toj-" "date?" he blurted out, leaving you blushing and shocked. "sure toji." that night, he couldn't stop gushing over you to his toddler megumi.

older bf!toji who told you upfront that he was a single father, a widow and looking for a serious relationships on your first date. not wanting to cause any other misunderstandings, he's old, he doesn't have time to play games. he doesn't have the time to fool around, he wants a serious relationship, someone he can lean on, importantly someone who megumi can lean on.

older bf!toji who did not understand why such a youthful person would want him. the stress of his job and raising a child alone has manifested on his appearance. while you, were the epitome of youth in his eyes. the days where you could've been partying in clubs, you spent playing with megumi. he could not wrap his head around your actions.

older bf!toji who barely uses social media. not due to his age, but he's too busy with his life. his only socials are his facebook(good 4 u). you had to teach him how to make an instagram account, and to this day he still doesn't understand how it works. his insta only follows you, with one post, which is also a picture of you.

older bf!toji who's always 'reluctantly' accompanying you, reluctantly watching chick flicks with you, reluctantly accompanying you shopping and holding your shopping bags, reluctantly holding your purse. he's always reluctantly doing stuff, but he ends up doing it anyways. why? cause he loves you. there's a certain joy inside him he hasn't felt since his wife's passing. he secretly enjoys doing girly things with you, just to see the happiness on your face.

older bf!toji who never wants you to feel like megumi is your responsibility. though he wants you to be there for megumi, he doesn't want to burden you with his own struggles.

older bf!toji who stumbles over his feet when he first saw you with megumi. for the first time in his life, he saw megumi like someone from the first meeting. megumi was constantly giggling, smiling ear to ear. without toji realising, his expressions had mirrored his son, like father like son.

older bf!toji who's scared of his future. he's always on the brink of death, with the risky nature of his job. he wants to grow old together, but hesitation takes over him when he realised that in the end, it would just be him growing old.

older bf!toji who has the worst taste in clothing. literally horrendous, when you see his wardrobe, it's just multiples of his tight black shirt, his weird poofy pants and some workout clothes. his other clothing was horrible, some shirts having holes as big as your fist. ever since you've seen that, you've decided to go on a shopping spree for him, along with getting him and megumi some matching clothes.

older bf!toji who hasn't had the time to take care of himself properly. taking care of megumi was such a hassle making him forgot about himself. when you pamper him with skincare nights and face masks, he literally gets addicted. every time you offer to do a face mask or to do his skincare, he dashes to lay his head on your lap. he's still too shy to ask for it, but you can tell how much he likes it. his wrinkles slowly going away with every touch of your hand, as if he's finally let his guard down.

[gay-dorito-dust]

I saw the Dad! Stanley, could you make the Dad! Stanford one? Like how his reaction come back after 30 years saw Reader already become responsible adult

-🐈‍⬛

Ford kept a picture of you -his life’s greatest achievement- in his pocket at all times during his time in the multiverse, reminding him of who he had waiting for him back home when he felt as though he was at his limit.

Being a father was never on the docket but the moment you entered his life he dedicated himself to raising you as best as he could, even going so far as to do extensive amounts of research in preparation for any and every vital moment of your life.

You had became a pivotal part of his life and made everything he did even more important for he was doing it for you and the future you’d live in. He wanted you to grow up prepared for anything and everything life would throw at you, along with how to handle yourself for the inevitable day where he couldn’t be with you anymore. (He hates it as much as you did)

He commemorates everything you did and dedicated parts of his journals to you and your growth or things that you did that made him laugh. (You wore his coat once and Ford was fighting the demons within him known as cuteness aggression because of how it swamped your tiny form.)

An excerpt:

‘They look at me like I’m something and I’m worried that one day they’ll grow up and not view me as such when they see what I’ve done when they slept soundly in their crib, but all I do, I do for them.’

However this desire to watch you grow and be apart of your important developmental stages would be cut short when he fell into the portal when you were just 8 years old.

His last words before the portal closed entirely to Stanley were: ‘no! Y/n! I haven’t done everything I’ve wanted to do with them yet! Go trick or treating with them on Summerween! Go Fishing! Watch them grow up! Stanley, don’t leave them alone, they really hate being alone!’

And raise you Stanley did as he would try his hardest to keep your memory of Stanford alive and well, thinking it was the best he could do after accidentally taking his brother from you. He’d even make a whole album for when Ford comes back from the day he fell into the portal.

Stanley didn’t miss a single moment to capture you doing something adorable (dressed up as a paranormal detective for the summerween he took you out on) or similar to Ford himself (becoming curious about about the mystery of Gravity falls after an incident with a bunny demon and even making a series of journals yourself)

Stanley made sure to capture every little thing he could from you helping him run the shack, to you making your first friends, your little experiments on how much food Soos could stuff in his face without getting full. Which was fun until he always threw up.

You were so much like Ford it hurt Stanley to look at you sometimes because all he could see was his brother in you that he had to look away sometimes, and he knew that Ford would be so fucking proud of the person you grew up to be but also knew that he would hate himself for not being there for it all.

So when the day came when Ford finally retired home, his first words as he stepped out of the portal were; ‘where’s y/n?’

Dipper, Mabel, Soos and Stanley could only watch as you, a full grown adult of 38, stepped forward with tears in your eyes when meeting face to face with the man who raised you before his brother took over, reaching out to him whispering ‘dad?’

Ford was shocked to say the least when he looked over at this adult calling him dad, only for his brain to work fast and connect the dots as he pulls out the picture of you as a child from his coat pocket and made the connection that you and the smiling child in the picture he held close to his heart were one in the same.

You were now all grown up and he wasn’t there to see it happen with his own eyes, something that broke his heart into a million pieces knowing that he never got the chance to see it himself! The coat that hung off of your frame was his, he could clearly tell but it didn’t swamp your form like it use to, it suited you and the makeshift journal Ford saw you had clutched in your hand and knew you were his child in more ways then one.

You had his curiosity and his need to understand the unknown to great but sometimes dangerous depths, god he missed you so fucking much, his sweet child and his sweet child you’ll always will be in his eyes as he watched as you quickly walked towards him and hugged his frozen form tightly as you wept in his shoulder.

‘Dad.’ You said. ‘I’m all grown up.’

Ford chuckled weakly as he too found himself unable to keep the tears at bay, ‘I can see that sweetie pie,’ he said as he held you tightly against him. ‘I’m so sorry I wasn’t here to see it.’ He adds knowing that this will be one of his life regrets until the day he died, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t use this time to catch up with you and learn all about you all over again.

‘It’s okay.’ You reassured him, clinging onto him as though he’d disappeared again. ‘It’ll give me an excuse to talk your ear off about all my expeditions, my theories and my thoughts on everything that’s been going off here.’

‘They really are cut from the very same cloth as you.’ Stanley told Stanford as he watched you tuck Dipper and Mabel into bed that night. ‘They’re smart and even graduated from a prestigious college at the top of their class, they were even valedictorian just like you back in highschool, but they came back to gravity falls because they wanted to dedicated themselves to helping me in getting you back.’ He adds as Stanford looks at his twin with tears in his eyes.

‘And I wasn’t there to watch them walk across that stage…’ he mutters and Stanley pulls out a photo that he had taken during your graduation ceremony and gave it to Ford who could only smile weakly as he took you in. You had blossomed so much when he was away and it broke Ford even more when he realised that he knew little to nothing about you now.

‘I’m such a terrible father.’ He tells Stanley who grips him by the shoulders and looks him dead in the eye.

‘Hey! You are not a terrible father, they love you so much that they stay up late at night trying to decipher you work in hopes of finding a lead so that they could have their father back in their life. So don’t you dare say that about yourself when they’ve nothing but miss their father for the past 30 years!’ Stanley scolded him just as you walked into the hallway after bidding dipper and Mabel goodnight.

You heard them but decided not to speak up about it, after all today had been quite emotionally exhausting and all you wanted to do was sleep. ‘I’m going to bed, good night dad, good night uncle Stan.’

‘Hold it you.’ Stanley said as he walked over to you, pressing a kiss to your forehead, pulling away as he smiled at you. ‘Night pipsqueak.’ You smiled back before looking over at Ford, wanting to go to him and Stan could see the conflict in your eyes and pushed you towards his twin before retreating to his room.

‘So I was thinking that we could go monster hunting…you know like father and child. I’ve been trying to track down this dragon like creature that’s said to live on the highest mountain of gravity falls since its conception.’ You said awkwardly as Ford smiled at you and placed a hand on your shoulder.

‘I’d be glad too sweetheart, you don’t have to ask me to spend time with you because I’ll always want to spend time with my child.’ He replied and you couldn’t help but smile widely as you hugged him tightly again. Needless to say you and Ford made up for lost time in quick succession as you both ran away from being burnt alive by the massive dragon that was originally thought to be a myth.

[unadulteratedsoulsweets]

A DC X DP IDEA #30

Salvage Tomorrow.

Imagine dis...

Every flash who has ever gone back in time tried to make the future a little bit better. From the main Flash Barry Allen to his future grandchild, Bart Allen. But he came from a desolate future, a future of ruins. He may have the power from the original Flash but it had been watered down, he may be fast but not as fast as the fastest man in the world, so the question is… 

How did he come back to the past?

He did not have enough energy or power to travel through the speed force and through time to safely arrive in the past without disintegrating himself… So how?

….

Danny Fenton also known as “Phantom” was thrust into another mission by Clockwork but instead of his usual errands where he needs to retrieve something, this time he needs to ensure a certain event must happen.

When Danny asked which point of time he would be sent Clockwork admitted that he would be sent to the future where Dan came from.

That startled Danny because as far as he is concerned the future is now gone and the main event where Dan is formed has been avoided, also Dan is slowly mellowing out and he is very sure Dan developed a soft spot for him. Clockwork sensing his ward’s question chose to open a portal to that timeline and began to explain. There is another event that must take place just as after Dan goes back in time just to ensure he was made, a speedster was supposed to travel back in time to prevent another major apocalypse and he needed a bit of help.

Clockwork also suggested Dan to come along, Dan is a bit skeptical since he left an impression on the remaining humans. Danny assured him that he could do this alone and he had done it multiple times. Dan just snarked back that Danny might be attacked and it would be a shame if he died from a puny human.

With much more arguing Danny was sent back to the past to help the Flash at the time to go back in the past.

…

When Danny gets to the end of the portal, The scene surrounding him is eerie, with degradation and ruins that represent the once-thriving society that he remembers. Collapsed buildings and overgrown plants litter the streets, showing the remnants of a once-thriving community. Danny can practically taste the ash that clung in the air.

There he was, He couldn't help but wince at the future that his future self did, no wonder the Observants wanted him dead the moment Danny gained his ghostly powers. He can barely sense any living being as for the undead one, immediately cleared out of his way the moment he even breathed in his direction. Using invisibility he flew to the nearest human camp that he had sensed after 3 days of exploring for any signs of life. According to Dan, Danny remembers, that he knew there was a small group of humans who survived the initial killings and tried to hide from him 

He saw that the majority of them were civilians living off the scraps they had found in the ruins of their cities. Some were trying to plant some seedlings into the soil, but Dan had poisoned the soil with ectoplasm as a form of a slow execution or some sort. All of them are weary and vigilant as if Dan would come back any moment to finish them off.

Of course, Danny can't just stroll there, from the way they tense they would run off any minute plus he didn't know which one would go to the past. 

At first, he started off helping them in terms of small things like if they were a bit cold during the night a few more blankets would appear. They were running out of drinkable water, a trail suddenly appeared towards a small creak that wasn't infected by the ectoplasm. 

At first, everyone was able to brush it off as a stroke of luck but then the remaining heroes or those who have a connection to the said former heroes began to doubt the sudden gifts they tried to catch the person giving them gifts but it took a child’s laughter to catch their invisible helper.

…

Danny was just dropping off another small batch of supplies hidden a few feet away from the main group so that when they went exploring they could find the said supplies. The group for exploration left the camp leaving with a few children who had survived along with some young adults to watch over the said kids. One of the kids began crying as if their situation finally sunk in, Danny who was still invisible tried to comfort the child but it was then the group to explore went back and Danny forgot to turn on his invisibility, Let us just say panic ensued.

…

After the entire fiasco of yelling, shouting, fear, and screaming they can talk civilly to each other after a few weeks of Danny proving himself further that he is not Dan despite looking like a smaller carbon copy of the man.

Danny didn't want his relationship with Dan to be known so he let them draw their conclusion, he heard from afar that they were slowly trying to trust him as if he was truly Dan they would have killed them already since Dan broadcasted his fight, do you even call a massacre a fight? To enjoy their screams.

Danny was too elated to hear the good news that he missed their conclusion of him being Dan’s son who is trying to do good despite their father being the cause of such an apocalypse.

A Bat, from the insignia etched to their chest, finally interrogated Danny on why is he there and Danny homestyle told them that he could be a battery. At first, a flash of surprise etched on their face then went back to their neutral form. The said Bat member asked how Danny knew, Danny evaded the question and proceeded to insist that he could help whomever they were sending to the past since not only they are missing the needed parts to their machine but they also needed a battery powerful enough to power up the machine.

…

After a much-needed trade and interrogation, they finally decided to let Danny help. With Danny’s expertise, they were able to finish the pod to let one of them travel back in time. Bart Allen was chosen as not only he is a speedster but when it comes to the delicate balance of time travel the Flash’es are the ones to handle it. 

Just as they fire the pod that contains Bart, Dan suddenly appears looking grimly at the group, Danny, and the machine. Bart’s final moments before he was sent to the past were the horrified looks from the group that protected him and Danny’s scared/grimacing face at the face of Dan.

…

The last remaining group of humans slowly disappears as a result of Bart’s change in the timeline. The Bat looks at Danny with a determined look trying to blurt out codes to Danny that if he ever needed help the Bats in the past should recognize the code. 

Bart and The Last Bat can’t help but get close to the ghost boy who despite his father tries to do good.

…

As the last human disappeared Danny can’t help but blurt out to Dan that it was hard to gain their trust, and that’s why he was late. Dan just rolled his eyes and told Danny that he was there to fetch him since this timeline was about to vanish. Danny the ever petulant child let Dan drag him by the collar to the portal as he watched the reality he knew for a few weeks gain cracks and destroy itself.

Surely Danny thought, he would never see Bart again. He had been Phantom since he was 14 and it had been 3 years since his accident and there had been no contact from Bart.

…

Meanwhile, Bart has been trying to find a Phantom ever since he went back in time. As if the universe is against him when it comes to trying to find Danny, something is at foot and needs his full attention. During his mission, the theory “Phanton is the son of Dan” solidified when he saw multiple cave paintings and even mentioned Dan. Which made Dan old enough to procreate.

…

It was a mission gone wrong that reunited the two. Bart along with Kon and Tim on a usual mission to bust some villain's butt, but of course when things got too well things went sideways, and able to kidnap them.

Opening his eyes, Bart took a good look around him, he was cuffed with anti-meta cuffs that dampened the powers of metas who committed a crime. He along with his teammates are all tied up in some sort of Occult Ritual for the Lazarus pits. Bart joked to Tim also known as Red Robin that this only happens in Gotham and they were states away from Gotham. Tim who is looking at their predicament with seriousness chose to ignore Bart. Bart looked a bit bored and thought that this must be a good idea to page Danny.

As the cult group tries their botched pronunciation of Esperanto, Bart who is known as a man of science just like the original Flash and Wally, clears his throat and begins chanting alongside the cultists. As the mist suddenly invaded the room, ice began sprouting from the floor trapping the cultist inside of them.

Both Red Robin and Superboy are now on the edge seeing the cultists were able to summon something and Bart is now smiling across his cheeks since he recognizes that ice anywhere.

Bart yelled out to Danny in the mist, both Red Robin and Superboy were now looking at him with surprised looks as someone responded to Bart. A white-haired teen wearing royal regalia from his head to his boots with glowing green eyes reminded Tim of the Lazarus pits.

The mysterious white-haired teen greeted Bart tiredly as seen from the deep eyebags below his eyes. Bart immediately went to chatter Danny’s ears off as Danny tried to free them from their bindings. Just as Bart excitedly introduced Danny to his friends, Danny immediately went alert and told them to hide immediately. Tim and Conner who are still distrusting Danny, suddenly yelped at Bart as he dragged them to hide behind one of the ice pillars. 

Tim the ever detective tried to ask what was going on and Bart just hushed them with an attitude that they had never seen from the time-traveling teen. A green glowing portal appeared behind Danny and what emerged made Bart’s face turn paper white.

Tim has questions about what is happening and opts to stay quiet and observe. Bart whom Tim knew as cheerful, chatty, and optimistic about the dire situation suddenly went quiet and began to fear whomever appeared behind “Danny’s” back.

The thing that emerged from behind Danny is a larger, buffer version. Of himself with a few details and traits missing from their savior to the newcomer. Danny tensed and asked why is he there and the new commer smirked grabbed “Danny” by the collar and dragged “Danny” towards the portal while “Danny” was weakly protesting.

The moment the portal disappeared Bart looked in the direction where their savior had been dragged off with a mix of confusion and dread and immediately barked at Kon to break the cuffs that hindered his powers while marching towards the direction to the nearest Zeta tube.

…

Danny just answered a cult’s calling not because he wants to evade his paperwork no sir, he is one responsible halfa and he would never use every excuse he can come up to escape paperwork. The ritual that the cult is using is powerful… oh no….. He deadpaned at Dan as he disappeared from the castle.

When he did appear at the scene he immediately spotted Bart, no wonder he heard a familiar voice in between the botched Esperanto. Danny is just happy to reunite with his friend when he feels Dan is fetching him. Danny told Bart and his friends to hide as Dan might scare them, first impression people!!!

Danny wants to introduce to Bart a redeemed Dan after he asks Bart if he is okay with seeing the person who turned the world into ruins. He may never listen to Jazz when she rants his ears out but some knowledge tends to stay you know.

Dan just smirked as he dragged Danny away knowing that another pile of paperwork added to the mountain of it. Danny just whined to Dan about why is he even doing this when Dan is the regent, it was agreed upon by the Ancients that Dan should be a stand-in as the king of the Infinite Realms while Danny finishes his royal studies to become king and his human life. Dan just said that he just has to look pretty while Danny does the actual things.

Danny just pouted at the notion, as he lay his head on the table that impressively holds the tons of paperwork that reaches to the ceiling of the former king’s castle he can’t help but notice his relationship with Dan. Gone with the anger and malice, replaced with fondness and affection between them, brother, a word Dan accidentally muttered when he thought he was asleep. 

Dan is painting himself a target, Danny mused, with the GIW doubling their efforts, despite their continuous idiocy the rare times they managed to capture one is devastating. Any none ghost knew that there was a new king but not who, with Dan’s appearance could easily gain all the enemies of the real king aka HIM. Declaring Dan as the king is keeping him safe and unknown to everyone aside from the closest Ancients who knew the truth.

 A ploy to keep him safe.

Danny just sighed and wished Bart could help him out of the paperwork. 

…

Meanwhile, the JL is in a panic, Time travelers typically avoid telling directly what’s going to happen to avoid further complications the moment they step their feet, so they try to steer the present just a little bit for a better future. So when Bart, the time traveler from a desolate future bursts into the meeting room full of the founding members with two of his teammates trying to catch up to him, about Danny. Flash immediately jumps into action telling Bart to stop what is doing, Bart reiterates that Danny is not his father and Batman immediately barks out a report.

So Bart explains, explains a ruined future,  a future full of poison that seeped into the soil and water rendering everything dead, a future where there were only small groups of humans, a future where it was ruled by a tyrant named Dan, a future where his only son Danny Phantom defied the said future so that Bart could go back and change the future.

Constantine explained that they have to be careful, with Dan being the king of the Infinite Realms, they have to tread carefully, or else it may be seen as a declaration of war. If Trigon only conquers different realities then Dan has the power to destroy the universe and realities as they know it. He can make Trigon and Darkseid out of the business.

…

PS: If someone out there wants to continue or make a fic about this you are free to do so, don’t forget to tag me though.

 PPS: I am now confused about which prompt I should post due to my idiotic self mixing up the date so we’ll go back to the former schedule.

[hotmencoreplus]

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧 ‘𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭’ 𝐑𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐲’𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫

Pairing: Simon Riley x sister!reader (she/her)

Summary: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, the infamous, relentless and fearless Task Force 141 soldier. And the particulars of him being the guardian of his baby sister.

Warnings: Talks of war and deployment, mentions of a traumatic childhood, language. Attempted to do it chronologically, but have added bits here and there

Word count: 3300+

A/N: Basing this off the theory that he is mid 30’s in mw2.

Likes and reblogs are much appreciated! Copying and reposts are not! My fics are only posted on tumblr, under this sideblog @hotmencoreplus for the account, @hotmencore

��� Simon wasn’t at all prepared to be an older brother, but when he saw you, he knew it was his job to protect his little baby sister.

‣ You were the only one who was fortunate enough to not be killed by Washington, so when Simon was made aware of your survival, he took you in as his own.

‣ He doubted himself at first, fearing he would turn out like his dad, but also didn’t want to abandon you like he had been as a child.

‣ He wasn’t experienced in any way shape or form with taking care of a baby, so most of his days when not on deployment consisted of him watching youtube videos and going online to figure out how to do stuff and take care of you properly.

‣ When on deployment, he left you with a trusted neighbour who he had known for years before. (I feel like this would either be like a man who he would call his ‘best friend’ when home, or an old woman who has kids of her own, that use to babysit him)

‣ He would spoil you the best he could, and make you as happy as possible, not wanting you to have a childhood anything remotely like his.

‣ He definitely still gets help off of google for some things. He isn’t really too good with knowledge on ‘girly’ things.

‣ When home, you and him would always sit at the kitchen table of an evening, you playing with barbies whilst he sat across from you modding his rifle. As you got older, it would be the same just you with homework. You didn’t speak much when sat with each other, though it was always a comfortable silence for the both of you.

‣ Once when in primary school, you came home with a pout as you were jealous of your classmates pigtails and plaits, seeing that Simon only really knew how to brush your hair. So that night, he spent an hour watching videos over and over so that he could learn how to plait your hair.

‣ He felt stupid watching the videos, and frustrated that it took him so long to get the hang of it, but he knew it was all worth it when he saw the grin on your face the next morning as you looked at your hair in the mirror to see it all pretty and plaited.

‣ He also felt the same each birthday or christmas when you were little, worried that the little amount that he was able to get you wouldn’t be enough to make you happy. But 100% of the time, it was just him underestimating himself.

‣ When you were young, he never bothered to mention his own birthday. But one year when with your neighbour, you found out his birthday was a couple days after he came back from deployment. So you saved up money for the 2 weeks before he came back, and bought him a little teddy bear and a bar of chocolate. You also made him a little loom band bracelet, and haphazardly wrapped them up and hid them under your bed.

‣ When his birthday did arrive, you came downstairs to him in the living room, holding the parcel out in front of him. He lifted you up onto his lap, taking the parcel from you. “What’s this?” He asked, looking at it as he peeled his fingers from the cellotape of which you’d badly wrapped it with.

‣ “Happy birthday” you say softly with a smile, and that right there made Simon’s heart melt. He unwrapped the gift, and held the bear out in front of him. You looked at him eagerly, though his expression was confusing to you. “I hope you like it” you say with a slight hint of doubt. But Simon smiles at you, yes, smiles, and pulls you closer to him, placing a small kiss on your cheek, “I love it, thank you Y/N” he says, and the grin returns to your face.

‣ Simon had never felt more appreciated by anyone in his life.

‣ He let you off that one morning to share the chocolate with him, after eagerly placing the loom band on his large wrist, showing him that you now had matching ones.

‣ And he wears it everyday, even on deployment, under his uniform.

‣ And he still does to this day, years later.

‣ He also has a tattoo tucked away somewhere that he got for you, most likely your initials.

‣ When he first joined 141, Price was the only one who knew about you, and that Simon was the one who took care of you.

‣ He knew from Ghost’s files, as when he joined the task force, you were at the age where Simon wanted you written down as who was told when he died.

‣ You were at the age where it was harder to just pretend he never existed. Because when you were a baby, that was his plan. Before he joined it was your neighbour that was put down, just as a telling that you would need to be put in someone else's care.

‣ When Ghost requested the change to his file, he asked Price that someone could go over and tell you in person, rather than just a phone call, or his dog tags through the mail. Which caused for him to have to let Price know of your existence.

‣ He also asked for Price to tell Laswell, as he trusted her and wanted someone there for you who was in the UK more than he was, and in case both him and Price were on a mission/ far away.

‣ He also did it as he believed that you needed at least one female figure somewhat a part of your life, though you've only met her like once or twice.

‣ It takes a good amount of time and full trust in a person for Simon to be comfortable with them meeting you, or even just knowing of you. Which is why Johnny found out so randomly.

‣ You were late pre-teens when Simon was coming home from deployment, and got a call from his friend, apologising that he couldn’t pick him up from base. Johnny overheard the conversation and insisted that he dropped Simon off, though he was perfectly fine getting a taxi.

‣ Simon did message you to stay in the house, but you weren’t paying any mind to your phone, just looking out the window waiting for his arrival. Your own excitement blinded you to the fact it wasn’t the car of Simon’s friend dropping him off, so when you saw his skull mask through the car window, you jumped off the couch and ran out the door to him without a second thought. You didn’t hesitate in giving him a massive hug, which, though Johnny hadn’t pulled off yet, Simon reciprocated, as he knew there was no way of exactly hiding you now.

‣ It wasn’t at all that he didn’t trust Johnny enough, Simon just always felt awkward bringing it up and didn’t expect the circumstances of which he was in, so wasn’t prepared at all.

‣ Soap didn’t like to pry, but was curious and immensely shocked to see a young girl run out of his house and jump onto Simon’s huge frame. He knew it couldn’t have been his daughter as Simon would have simply been far too young for that to be true. So he made the conclusion of you being his sister, and tried to keep it to himself.

‣ Though on the next deployment, Johnny did ask about the young girl he saw, and with a grumble of a reply, he then understood that his guesses were correct. By then he trusted Gaz enough as well, so the whole of 141 eventually knew of Simon’s little sister.

‣ Simon keeps a little photograph of you in his uniform, in an inside breast pocket, above his heart. It’s a photo of you when you were little, the first year he put aside his fears, and took you trick-or-treating. You were dressed as a little fairy, grinning up at the camera, your face covering most of the shot as you leant forwards into the frame.

‣ You two don’t have any proper photos with each other, apart from one from when it was your birthday one year, and you told Simon that the only thing you wanted was a photo of the two of you together. So Simon begrudgingly granted your wish after a lot of convincing.

‣ In the photo, you are stood next to each other in the hallway of your home, you grinning with your short arms attempting to wrap around his large waist, and him stood looking emotionless with his simple skull mask on, his arm behind you resting on your back.

‣ It wouldn’t look sentimental at all to anyone else, but you treasured it. It stays on your bedside cabinet, with one of his old dog tags that he let you keep. You also have another old one of his attached to the zip of your school backpack.

‣ Simon never really decorated your room too much when you were younger, as he was new to the whole thing and decided that he would let you do it with him when you were older and found your own passions and interests. So first off for several years your room consisted of a small single bed, a wardrobe, and littles shelves for your toys, all of which he built with you sat on the floor of your room with him one day.

‣ But when you did find yourself and what you liked, you both spent a couple days decorating it. As it was just you and Simon in the house, you weren’t ever very ‘girly’ so the walls were painted a pale blue, and he bought you some new shelves and some fairy lights/ LED’s to hang up around your bed.

‣ When you use to get nightmares or just couldn’t fall asleep, you would sneak into Simon’s room, and wake him up so that you could stay with him. Although due to his own nightmares, was usually awake before you came in anyways. But there was something he secretly found so sweet about hearing your little feet try to quietly pad down the hallway to his room.

‣ He never minded, because he had nightmares all the time. Simon would never admit it, not even to his baby sister, but he enjoyed the nights where he would have her with him. Because in the long run it did actually help him fall asleep, knowing he wasn’t completely on his own.

‣ He had you.

‣ Due to him being away quite a lot, you have been aware of his job since you were little.

‣ Though when you got older, you wanted to know more about it. Simon didn’t really want to tell you much, as he didn't believe it was something he wanted his sister knowing about, but after so much pestering from you, he caved in. You learnt about his callsign, and how he always wore the skull mask.

‣ Once meeting Soap properly, he was the one to tell you about how infamous your brother really was on the field.

‣ You found it pretty cool that you were one of the only people in the entire world who new what the Simon Riley truly looked like, and secretly took pride in it.

‣ You have always known Simon with and without his mask, so it never feels weird. He rarely wore it when you were a toddler, though when you were first born he mostly kept it on, scared his scars were gonna frighten you.

‣ But the first time he took it off in front of you, you babbled and giggled, and reached out to his face. So from then on, he didn’t bother wearing it around you.

‣ There was one occasion when he came to pick you up from a neighbours after almost a year long deployment, and you were shy with him. It hurt Simon a bit, and made him feel guilty for not being there, and that you had grown so much in the time he was away. But the feeling soon melted away once your neighbour gave you a little push from behind their leg, you softening in Simon’s touch as he held you close in his arms.

‣ His teenage years were the most traumatic for him, so when you transitioned into yours, he became even more protective of you. You sometimes fought over this, and Simon felt bad, but you knew that he was doing it because he wanted nothing more than for you to be safe.

‣ When he bought you your first phone, he definitely made you have Life360 or something like it, so that he knows where you are just in case he needs it.

‣ He would never go crazy on where you were and who you were with. He trusted you. But when away, every night before he went to bed himself, or whenever it was late in the UK timezone, he would check that you were at home. It made him relax slightly about being away, knowing that you were safe.

‣ You were about 15 when you were properly introduced to the 141 team, as behind Soap’s teasing and pestering, Simon knew that you needed some other adult figures in your life. So, much to your own surprise, he messaged you asking if you wanted to come get him from base one time with his neighbour.

‣ You knew that Simon wasn’t really much of a physical affection type of guy, but you could never resist when he was coming back home after a deployment. And even less so now that you were able to come to base. But he also knew that much to his dislike for the public display of it, there was nothing he could do to stop you from doing so.

‣ And with that fact in mind, he knew he had to reciprocate the gesture, so when you did run up to him with your arms out, for a second he forgot about that fact the rest of the guys wouldn’t let cold old ‘Ghost’ hear the end of it, and wrapped one arm around you, lifting you up with ease, his bags clutched in his other hand. You practically squealed to him how much you’d missed him, as he mumbled back in your ear that he did you, too. Lucky for him the others didn't hear that.

‣ Once he had put you down, he very much awkwardly introduced you to the others in a grumbly tone.

‣ When you turned to them, the first thing that they all collectively noticed were your eyes.

‣ You had Simon’s eyes.

‣ Johnny’s hello was an enthusiastic “Good to finally meet you lass,” Simon glaring at Soap, aware of the amusement this brought him, knowing his lieutenant was annoyed as hell.

‣ Gaz nodded at you with a smile, and Price said hello in a deep but warm tone, looking on at you with an almost proud gaze.

‣ Price didn’t know what to expect when Soap loudly made everyone aware of Ghost’s new visitor at base pick up, as Johnny was the only one of them who had seen you before to recognise you as Ghost's sister, though they knew you existed (much to their inital surprise). But when you turned to the rest of the team without hesitance, Price instantly felt an even higher level of respect towards Simon as it was clear from your confident and polite hello that he had raised you well.

‣ Much to Simon’s own self doubt.

‣ One night when the 141 were all at a bar, Price quietly told Simon about how he had done well with you, knowing that he was definitely uncertain of his own worth in your life. But Simon heard the sincerity in his Captain’s voice, and with a quick look of appreciation towards John, he then didn’t doubt himself as much as he had before.

‣ Simon sometimes does mess up though with his language around you, only recently now that you have gotten older. But he isn’t too fussed, just as long as he doesn't hear you repeat any of it.

‣ Seeing that it is only you two in the house 24/7, you both surprisingly get on really well, and there have only been a rare few occasions when he has had to put his foot down.

‣ But these rare occasions would mainly consist of something silly to the point that he got sick of your nagging, like when you begged him to have ice cream for breakfast.

‣ “Please Simon, just this once-“

‣ “No, Y/N! You said that last time. Now drop it.”

‣ There have definitely been times where neither of you can sleep, and now that you're older, you both just sit with each other in comfortable silence. Occasionally just putting a random film on in the living room, but most of the time you would just be at the kitchen table, with a bowl of cereal at like 2am. That is until, and this is 98% of the time, you fall asleep with your head on the table and Simon has to carry you to your room.

‣ When you got to the age where Simon was comfortable with you in the house on your own, you once mentioned to him that the first day of him being away was always the hardest, and that it felt really weird in the house.

‣ You both knew he couldn’t do much about that, but he tried little things to make it somewhat bearable.

‣ For instance, he knows one of your favourite things is leftover takeaway from when you two have one, so the night before every deployment, he always orders takeaway for dinner so that there is always some in the fridge for you on the first day of him being gone.

‣ It’s the little things that Simon does for you despite his mostly cold heart that mean the most to you.

‣ On long deployments, you write Simon letters for him to read. You do message him too, but prefer writing them, as you know he will write back, which you feel is more sincere. His letters are never as long or heartfelt as yours, but you know your brother, and that he loves you dearly.

‣ His replies would often be a few sentences, praising you on anything that you would mention about school or just exciting stuff in general, signing off with ‘Simon’, and a barely noticeable ‘x’ next to it.

‣ You keep every single one of the letters he sends back, your favourites being the ones that he would occasionally send to you, first. And secretly Simon does the same, keeping your letters tucked away in his bag under his bed.

‣ He tells you unless its an emergency, that you should stick to letters or texts, so that he can still stay focused with his job and that if you do one day call him, he knows straight away that it’s an urgent matter.

‣ There was one time when you forgot about the emergency rule, and called him to tell him you passed a test you had been stressing about.

‣ He was about to shout down the line asking what was wrong and where you were until you beat him to it with a loud “I PASSED SIMON, I PASSED THE TEST!”

‣ “That’s amazing Y/N, but you just scared the fucking life out of me.”

‣ “Oh crap. I forgot, sorry. But I passed!!!”

‣ "Great love. I'm proud of you. But next time stick it in a letter, yeah?"

[alyakthedorklord]

Welcome to Danny’s Part 2

People have been asking for more of this ^^ so here you go, have a really long word vomit of stuff i think is funny

(IM NOT WRITING THIS FIC GDI I HAVE ENOUGH WIP’S!)

Danny’s restaurant is ALSO manned by-

Tucker, who will fix your tech for free, has tattoos of hieroglyphics and lines of code that shift around when he gets busy.

Sam, who makes an express line for veggie orders. If you try to order meat from sam all the potted plants start trembling.

Jazz, who has a special booth in the back and Magically makes people dump their deepest secrets to her in streamlined Liminal Powers Therapy. (It’s a bit weird but hey the people she targets feel better so whatevs.)

Dani, who shares pictures from tourist traps she's visited, though there’s also some REALLY WEIRD pics of alternate realities and cult shenanigans mixed in. Some of the older patrons are concerned. She’s a little too young to do all this alone- actually, how old is she? Her father looks like he’s in his early twenties…

Dan, who is working here while “on parole” and often loudly argues with Danny about it.

“I don’t want to work in your stupid shop, Dad!”

Dan is two whole feet taller than danny and three times as wide i will not be taking constructive criticism. He’s a whole silver fox. There are some ladies who have a crush on him and they’re really concerned if he’s legal bc danny is younger than them how is Dan his child-

“Dan, how old are you?”

“I don’t know, like, a hundred sixty something?”

(Lady turns to look at Danny, who shrugs and smiles.) “time dilation. What a world we live in. Dan, kiddo, can you get some more napkins from the back?”

“Ugh, fine, dad.”

The first villain Danny ACTUALLY fights isn’t the Joker. It’s Condiment King. Dan runs away from him, which is already weird bc guy is MASSIVE, and the condiment king chases him bc YES SOMEONE FINALLY FEARS HIM PROPERLY.

Danny bursts out of the shop in righteous fatherly fury and beats the snot out of him. Everyones is confused bc… what? Dan is massive? Why is he scared? Why is the twink beating the snot out of condiment king?

“Dan had a traumatic experience with Burger Sauce.” Danny explains, glaring down at the rouge at his feet. He kicks him, growls, “Don’t mess with my kid.” And walks back inside.

No one asks, bc this is gotham. Asking is rude, and also it lessens the Mystery that is Danny’s. No one knows how the kids came into existence. No one knows, before someone from out of town (metropolis, ugh) asks about the sign.

The sign outside the shop says:

Welcome to Danny’s!

Do no harm and no harm shall befall you.

Start nothing and nothing will be ended.

We have baseball bats and fists and a mean swing.

This establishment does not serve- guys in white (suits), Vlad, Transphobes, Vlad, Clowns, VLAD.

Do not ask for the secret menu. If you can get it, Danny will offer it.

(Don’t scare the other customers, please.)

When asked who Vlad is, bc he’s banned three times, Danny just kind of sighs.

“He’s my kid's other parent. He’s an obsessive creep who completely ignores Danielle because she’s a girl, rolling in money but won’t pay his child support. You know how it is.”

Several goons ask what he looks like so they can keep an eye out. Dani happily tells them “look at Dan, take away Dad’s features, then convert 30% of his height and weight into smarminess.”

It's an effective description. Vlad gets full body tackled the moment he enters the neighborhood. Danny gives the goons free fudge (family recipe, one of the restaurants signatures)

One of the reasons Danny’s is so popular is bc its open 24/7. (Unless its one of those weird times where all the doors are locked and if you look through the window blinds theres nothing but a starry void.) One of the reasons Danny’s is so weird is bc Danny is ALWAYS behind the counter. Always. Round the clock. He doesn’t sleep, eat, anything. Some people swear he has a twin he swaps out with (clones).

Sometimes, after a really difficult customer, Danny will let out a really long sigh and mutter “time out” before glitching into a new position, with a new shirt and combed hair. No one mentions it.

Theres a deal that’s just, “beat danny in a fight you eat for free.”

The deal extends to both Dan and Dani as well. Even if you lose you get fudge as a reward for courage.

No one ever wins.

One time, a couple brought their kid, recently discharged from the hospital. Danny comes over to them and grins. “Hey, kiddo! Bet you gave your parents a scare, huh? Pulled through in the end. That means you get the secret menu!”

Parents: hey wtf?

Danny, handing over a perfectly normal menu: 😀

Kid: “ooh mommy look at the glowy stars!”

Parents: !?!?!?

Danny: 😁

Old man Dave, whose heart has stopped like three times now: “Oh don’t worry about that, prices are the same and it will help your kid feel much better. Danny’s just a little weird.”

After all, it’s not just full ghosts that get the menu. If you’ve been dead, heart stopped, soul out of body before being popped back into place, then you get it. There’s actually a pretty high number of people who get it, bc this is Gotham. People get resuscitated after rogue attacks. The ecto actually helps stabilize their soul after getting jerked between life and death so rudely.

The secret menu that they’re given is just a normal menu, scribbled over top with an ecto pen, invisible to non-secret menu havers. Different “ecto-levels” to choose from, and three extra dishes. There’s also instructions to get into the “back room” for those who can’t go intangible, though it comes with a disclaimer “not for the faint of heart.”

There’s also a small note at the bottom- “do not share food.”

Anyways, as per original post. Tim herds Joker into Danny’s radar bc he Cannot Deal Right Now. He salutes Danny, who waves back, grinning like he didn’t just come at the Clown Prince of Crime like a feral badger on crack cocaine. “Heya, Red Robin! You want a coffee?”

“Please.” Tim sighs. “You’re the best, Danny.”

Jason looks between tim and the shop danny just vanished into. “Uh, what?”

“Danny doesn’t like clowns.” Tim explains. “Or condiment king. They get close, Danny takes them out.”

Jason is incredibly confused, bc he just came back from an out of town mission, but this place is right on the edge of his territory and he should definitely know about it. He asks tim, who just shrugs.

“That shop is weird. It’s like a grocery store at 3am. I stumbled in there after a rough night and Danny just whipped me up the best coffee i've ever had. Still can’t find their website. I swear it’s bigger on the inside and the door keeps swapping from one side of that fire hydrant to the other.”

Danny comes out and passes Tim a massive coffee cup. “Come back and talk shop with tucker, okay? You’re welcome any time. Both of you, actually.”

He gives Jason a weird look and then goes back inside.

Jason, who is a little concerned that the reverence tim has is more than his average weird worship of coffee (it's just that good) goes back the next day in civvies.

He gets offered the secret menu, danny does the eye thing, Jason retreats to look at the secret menu. Unsure of what just happened, he texts tim.

Jason: Why was i given a “secret menu”

Tim: WTF WHAT DID YOU DO TO GET THAT

Jason: IDK THATS WHY IM TEXTING YOU

tim: I'VE BEEN GOING FOR MONTHS I’M A LOYAL PATRON WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT I DONT

Jason: the secret menu apparently (image)

Tim: …thats just the normal menu???

Jason: no? It looks like a kid went ham with a neon green marker tf?

Duke: you know this is the family chat right?

Steph: order the waffles

Jason: you order the waffles. Wtf is an ecto-level.

Jason asks for what danny recommends, Danny immediately gives him a milkshake and tells him it's on the house bc he “looks rough.”

Jason is kind if offended, bc he actually got a decent sleep- but then he tries it and its like.

Oh.

Now. Between the stink Tim is making, and the sudden worship that Jason has of this shops milkshakes, the BatFamily is now Curious and will Investigate.

Are the milkshakes really that good?

The full force of the Wayne Family™ isn’t exactly subtle, so they go in twos and threes over the course of a week.

Damian gets offered the secret menu, and is also directed towards Sam’s express vegetarian line. Danny just Knew. Damian accuses Tim and/or Jason of pulling a prank on him, but they both swear up and down they didn’t say anything.

Both Steph (i think? Did she fake her death or actually die idk) and Cass get the secret menu, and they keep trying to ask Tim what certain things on the menu mean. Tim Cannot See what they’re talking about. He’s starting to get frustrated. Is it some sort of magic spell?

Tim takes Kon to Danny’s. (Is it a date? A test date on a low-stakes investigation? Maybe.) Danny, who is really starting to enjoy messing with Tim, gleefully offers Kon the secret menu, and Tim the normal one. Tim bangs his head on the table.

Dick doesn’t get a secret menu, but he does notice a couple disappear through the wall. He’s almost certain he’s seen them before, but it will be a while before he remembers Kitty and Johnny from his early Robin Days.

Duke is also not offered a secret menu, but he can see the writing anyways. He can also see that some of the patrons have weird auras, and what on EARTH is up with Danny himself? He tries to ignore it, up until Steph gets him to order one of the specials off Cass’s (secret) menu. And Danny just kind of sharpens, the air going cold.

“I didn’t give you that menu. Just because you can read it, doesn’t mean you want it. Order off the right menu, please.”

Duke, freaked the hell out by the Biblically Accurate Horror that Danny is shifting into, orders off the right menu and apologizes.

“Oh, it’s alright!” Danny flips back to cheerful in seconds. “It’s just that it wouldn’t be completely healthy for you to eat it, even if you are part immortal.”

Duke bluescreens.

Alright, somethings definitely going on.

Tim and Jason both order the same thing- an oreo milkshake, one off the secret menu, one off the normal menu. Jason confirms the one from the normal menu does not taste the same and isn’t as good. Tim cannot confirm the other way around, because Jason nearly punches him when he attempts to taste it.

They take samples home, analyze them, and go over anecdotes from other patrons, trying to figure out what makes Danny’s so weird. What makes Kon, Cass, Jason, and Damian different?

Wait a second. Kon, Cass, Jason, Damian. The ones that died and came back to life.

It’s around this time that Dick remembers where he’s seen Kitty and Johnny before. Lovers from two houses, both alike in (in)dignity, had a romeo-and-juliet-esque escapade across Gotham, ending in high speed chase with Kitty’s gangster father and a fatal motorcycle accident. Both are dead. Both are in Danny’s.

Danny’s has something to do with death.

Having heard a couple stories about food of the dead, they notify Bruce (who is very concerned as to what exactly his children have been putting in their mouths) and then call in the magic users of the justice league.

It’s a mess. Dan calls Constantine a whore. Deadman and Secret (i think thats Tim’s ghost friend?) get abducted to the backroom. Dani clocks Capt. Marvel as another kid who looks older than he actually is, with magic powers, and his showing him her REALLY interesting travel photos. Zatanna is like “this place needs an exorcism” and danny just goes “ma’am please don’t exorcize my customers.”

Tag list (if you saw me attempt this before no you didn’t)

@nappinginhell @apointlessbox @thegatorsgoose @chaos-n-kindness @mimilikey @phoenixdemonqueen @treepainting @sjrose1216 @akikkobara @malice-of-the-sunrise @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @randomkiddoscrewingaround @call-me-strega @blankliferain @somera-rubina @wordsgohere95 @rukiaai @mirellacoco @stargazing-bookwyrm @bathildaburp @littlefeather345

[leodette]

could u write Lando with an older woman? who maybe already has a kid, or at least with a small child is in her company? thanx <3

Hello, sure I can! The woman is around 30, and since there are no more instructions, the child that accompanies her is her nephew!

I Never Wanna See You Walk Away | LN4

fandom: Formula 1

pairing: Lando Norris x OC (not named)

names/faceclaims: -

summary: Lando takes Mila to the zoo

warning: age difference (older woman x younger man)

requested: yes / no

**********

“Mila! Mila please wait for me!” Lando yelled after his little niece who zoomed away from him on her bright pink scooter, laughing at her uncle’s attempts to catch her.

Lando had a rare moment of peace in his busy season, which allowed him to go home to Bristol for a few days, to see his parents and siblings. And because he was gone so often, hell he lived in a different country, he offered Oliver that he would take Mila in the late morning for a little ‘date’ to Bristol zoo, allowing his brother and Savannah some time with their newborn Athena.

What he didn’t count though was the energy hiding in Mila’s little body, and also the fact that she didn’t care if her ‘Uncle Lala’ was able to match his steps with her excitement.

So he was basically running after the child, trying not to gain too much attention. He was happy to not only have a break to see his family, but also not to be in public eye that much and that often.

He passed by lions and giraffes, his eyes firmly locked on Mila’s yellow jacket in desperate need to not loose her from his sight. A group of people suddenly appeared in her way, and Mila, startled, turned and ran her scooter straight into another child, both kids falling on the ground.

“Shit,” Lando sweared when he heard Mila’s high-pitched cry, running the last few paces and crouching next to her. She has laying in her stomach, the scooter next to her, partly crushed under her, the sleeves of her jacket dirty with mud, and her eyes shining with tears.

“Oh no no no, don’t cry darling, don’t,” Lando carefully lifted her, helping her to stand up and started to look for any kind of injury. In the whole mess, he completely forgot about the boy that Mila crashed into. Said young child was standing up, his hair messy and wet with a dirty water from the puddle that he fell into, the bottoms of his pants dirty. His eyes were shinning with tears, but he seemed desperately determined not to cry. Lando thought he could be around five.

“Buddy? What happened?!” a voice sounded behind them, and Lando turned to see a stunning woman with alarmed face expression. She was wearing black skinny jeans, cute boots on a small heel with a bow in the back, and a long maroon raincoat. Long haired pulled in a messy bun, and horrified look as she knelt next to the young boy, checking him in the similar way he was checking Mila.

“What happened, buddy?” she hugged him closer to her, caressing his cheek and wiping the lonely tear in his cheek. Mila though continued to cry loudly in Lando’s arms, him not being able to comfort her.

“That girl ran into m-me with her sco-scooter, those pe-people there sca-scared her,” the boy let out a few sobs, pointing first at Mila and then at the group of people that calmly walked away, clearly not aware of two crying children behind them.

“Okay, that’s okay, nothing happened,” the woman pressed a small kiss on boy’s forehead, smoothing his hair down.

“Are you okay? Does anything hurt?” she checked, and when he shook his head negative, she turned her eyes to Lando and Mila. Lando expected her started screaming at him for not being careful, but she just smiled slightly.

“And you sweetheart? Are you okay?” she asked Mila, patting her hair. The little girl was watching her warily, still sniffling the ugly tears away, but she shook her head.

“Good. That is good. C’mon, there is no need to cry, okay? Things like this happen, the most important thing is that you are not hurt,” she smiled, and to Lando’s absolute surprise Mila squirmed out of his arms and flew herself at the woman. She quickly closed her arms around the little girl, before motioning with her hand for he boy who squeezed himself next to Mila, cuddling closer to the woman that Lando still didn’t know.

“I’m sorry, I lost an eyesight of her for only a second,” he apologized and stood up, looming over the most unusual trio anyone could imagine. He earned only a smile and a shake of head.

“Nothing bad happened, right? They’re both okay, maybe little startled, but that comes with life,” she gently eased herself out of Mila’s grid, standing up as well, her hands in each of the kids heads.

“Although we can’t tell your Mum, buddy, otherwise she would have Auntie’s neck for that,” she winked at the boy who gave her a big smile back, one of his front teeth missing but not from the collision.

“Okay, so since they both are fine, I guess we should go,” she patted Mila’s hair and let her go, grabbing the boy’s hand. But Lando’s niece had nothing out of it, running it her and grabbing her hand with the determination only toddlers posses.

“No, come with,” she stomped her foot, the last reminders of a crying fit moments ago long forgotten.

The woman looked at her with wide eyes, before bashfully smiling at Lando and turning back to Mila.

“Do you want to go to take a look at the animals with us?” she asked, making Mila nod with all seriousness.

“Yef, animalf,” she pointed towards the nearby camel, and the woman chuckled.

“Well, if your Papa has nothing against it, you can come with me and Maxie here,” she motioned to the boy who smiled at Lando’s niece.

“Oh I’m not her dad, merely an uncle,” the McLaren driver quickly corrected her, feeling a blush warming his cheeks. She was gorgeous. Clearly older than him, probably closer to thirty than to twenty, but the classic elegance and kindness made his stomach tighten and his hands sweat.

“Well, there is nothing like ‘merely an uncle’. You’re basically her Dad in proxy now,” she smiled at him, before offering her hand and introducing herself.

“Oh, eee… Bob. I’m Bob, and this little spitfire here is Mila,” he motioned to the girl who was already standing at the fence together with Maxie, both of them watching the three camels inside with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry again for the incident,” he apologized again but she only waved her hand.

“As I said, nothing happened. No broken bones or knocked out teeth.”

They were quiet for a moment, watching the kids, before Max turned to his aunt.

“Auntie, can we get some snack?” he asked, his puppy eyes out in all force, making the woman roll hers before smiling gently.

“I guess we can. Want to come with us?” she asked Lando, who after a few seconds nodded. It wouldn’t hurt neither of them.

“Sure, why not. But,” he raised his finger, “I will pay.”

That earned him a chuckle from her and excited yells from the kids, and Lando offered her his elbow which she accepted before smirking.

“Well, I guess driving fast cars in circles earns some nice paycheck, right?” she added like it was nothing. But that little comment made Lando sweat, and not in a nice way. Looking at his horrified face she started laughing.

“We’re in Bristol, Mister Norris. You’re a superstar here,” she patted his arm gently.

“Don’t worry though. If you don’t say who you are, I will not. Now, off to the snack! Max wanted those strawberry pancakes they have in the bistro!” she pulled him with her like they knew each other for years, Mila and Maxie walking in front of them, the boy helping his new friend with her scooter.

And Lando? Once the shock from the realization that she knew him disappeared, he relaxed, and maybe… maybe a small hope for leaving with her number in his phone by the end of the day entered his mind.

Next

[mikaaki]

✧ ⁠— COLD HEART OF SNEZHNAYA

characters : tartaglia / childe / ajax

warnings : fem ! reader ( she / her pronouns ) , angst ( no comfort ) , childe & reader have a son. childe leaving. ALSO POSSIBLE MAJOR SPOILERS?? mentions of the reader being pregnant & labor. death threats. SIGNORA & SCARAMOUCHE SPOILERS

word count : 1.5k

notes : i am so sorry.

also i haven’t written in months so welcome back me !!🫶 i wrote this in like 30 minute so i am so sorry if it came out choppy

being a harbinger had never been an easy task. surviving the abyss , climbing the ranks of the fatui , and surviving constant attacks from enemies was not a lifestyle for the weak.

it also wasn’t a lifestyle he wanted for his family. he had never planned to fall so in love with you. when he first met you at liyue harbor , it was just a chance encounter. but then he kept seeing you.

over and over and over.

childe figured he may as well get to know you. he had always been a charming man , almost too charming. it always worked out in his favor…

he wondered how long he could keep the balance of his personal relationship with you and his life as a harbinger up for. it had been going so well.

he remembered the day you announced your pregnancy so clearly.

it was a bright sunday morning and the two of you were having breakfast together. it was rare for him to be home on the weekend , but there he was , happily eating a serving of eggs and toast with you.

you had been holding off the announcement for a few weeks. you knew exactly how busy he was. something about seeing him so content with your presence made you spill the beans.

he had never appeared happier. childe made it clear in the past he had always wanted to be a father , but now that it was exactly happening? he couldn’t contain his excitement.

it was hard keep the pregnancy a secret , but it was necessary. the less people that knew , the better. the 11th harbinger having a family wasn’t supposed to be public knowledge. it made everybody involved a major target to his enemies.

one of the hardest days of your lives came a few months later , when you went into labor. childe stood by your side the whole time. he held your hand tight while you struggled with the birth of your son.

love at first sight had always been an odd phenomenon to childe. his son changed all of that. seeing the bright ginger tufts of hair and light blue eyes of his son , he instantly fell in love.

childe was a man who’s life was full of blood and gore , but this child brought out an entirely new side of him. he wanted to change and be a softer , kinder man.

but he couldn’t do that. the fatui would never allow him to do such a thing. he was a weapon , not a father , as much as he wanted to be one. he had a place in the tsaritsa’s chess game. you were nowhere to be found on that board.

it didn’t take long for the first threat towards his family to come in.

childe had never been so antsy in his life. he rushed home as soon as he could , only to find you and your son alive and well. that was the first time he considered leaving.

would it be better if he left? he knew it would hurt you. he knew it would be difficult to care for your son alone. maybe he could transfer money to you so you could have a well - off life.

he couldn’t risk your life by being in it. hate him all you want , but at least you would be alive.

the night he finally decided to leave was the worst night of his life.

his family had received too many threats. too many people knew of you. your small home in liyue harbor was a target of the worst enemies of the fatui.

childe had spoken of moving several times before. after bringing it up for the upteenth time , you finally agreed. it was a small home on the outskirts of the city. it was certainly an upgrade from your prior home , though still small. it was big enough for three , but would be quite roomy for two…

the thought of leaving made him sick. childe would never get to see his son grow. maybe he could come by liyue and see glimpses of him , but he would never be able to be his father.

he felt ill every time he returned home. you’d happily greet him with a kiss , whilst your son laid in his crib , playing with toys or babbling senselessly in an attempt to speak his first word.

sitting in your small home , the moonlight shines brightly through the curtains , resting on childe as he held your son in his arms.

you were sleeping comfortably on your shared bed , blissfully unaware of the mental battle childe was having with himself.

maybe he was being dramatic. he was a harbinger. nobody would truly be dumb enough to go after his family. that’s what he thought…until signora was killed , and only a few months later scaramouche disappeared.

with harbingers beginning to drop like flies , he knew it was only a matter of time until he was targeted , or worse ; his family.

he held his son gently in his arms , taking in every detail of the small boy as if it were the last time he would see him…

because it would be.

he intended to enjoy the last few moments he had with his son. once the boy was asleep , he planned to put him in his crib , kiss your forehead , and never come back.

“i’m sorry,” childe whispered, his voice soft and nearly breaking as he spoke. it was so different compared to his normal boisterous personality.

a sudden stiring from your bed caught his attention. he quickly turned to look at you , his gaze meeting yours as you sat up.

in a tired state , you glanced around looking for your son. your eyes softened as you noticed the small boy in his arms.

“he’s precious, isn’t he?” you whisper , a tired smile pulling at your lips. you were never quiet about how much you loved the small family you built for yourself.

oh how unaware you were…

childe struggled to reply. he felt as if he were going to snap and spill the fact he was planning to leave you and your child behind.

“he is.”

“he looks just like you , you know?” you laugh. you’d made it clear that you were jealous your son took after his father. they were practically twins. it was ‘unfair’ how you carried him around for months only for him to be identical to his father.

childe didn’t respond. he quietly held the baby in his arms , gently rocking him back and forth.

“it’s rather late , ajax.”

childe looked up at you as you stated his real name. somehow , that name made him leaving feel worse.

he loved you. he truly loved you. he loved the family you built together. but he couldn’t stay. he didn’t deserve it. he couldn’t risk either of you to stay and enjoy this.

“i know,”

“i can take him if you -”

“no. he’s almost asleep anyway,”

a silence fell between the two of you as you stared at your son.

to you , it was a comfortable silence. just a small family enjoying a late night with their small baby.

to childe , this was worse than the abyss. he felt like he was lying to your face. he was leaving , and he couldn’t even muster the strength to tell you that. he didn’t deserve to be a father. he didn’t deserve to love you.

“go back to bed,”

“i am,” you smiled, laying back against the bed. you rested on your side, watching as he continued rocking your son back and forth.

“i love you,” he whispered. the words felt bitter coming out of his mouth. he knew it was true. but he also knew it would be the last time he spoke them to you.

“i love you as well,” you replied in that tired voice he loved so much.

it didn’t take long for you to fall back asleep. only a few moments passed before your son fell asleep as well.

childe gently placed your son in his bassinet. a feeling of guilt overwhelmed him , but he couldn’t stay. this wasn’t the life he deserved. his family deserved better. you deserved better.

he wasn’t going to put you at risk every day of your life just so he could be happy.

he wished he could tell you how much he loves you , but that was no longer possible. you were already asleep , and he intended to be gone by sunrise.

he leaned over to your side of the bed , pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead.

the next morning arrived , waking you with the bright beams of sunlight. looking to your side , you realized ajax was gone.

that was nothing unusual. he often ran errands in the morning , or he was at work.

either way , you decided to start your day , picking up your small son. the two of you would get some housework done while waiting for ajax’s return.

[kaeyacollection]

Who's ready for my Master Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Crepus Theory!!

I originally posted this over at Hoyolab and people there seemed to really like my favorite joke theory that Crepus just tries to gaslight the whole of Mondstadt right after obtaining Kaeya

Majority of this will be the same but with little tweaks for the wonderful tumblr audience

This joke stems from Kaeya's introduction:

and the use of the word "rumored"

Cause it's not like it said beyond Teyvat or the seven nations just Mondstadt

And I mean like c'mon how many families are living off the grid in Mondstadt

(Actually... Don't answer that I forgot Glory's boyfriend is just

Out there in the bush with Razor...)

Initially I had the idea of Crepus walking around the markets one day carrying Kaeya with Diluc beside him running into Varka who asks:

"Who's the boy?"

"You mean my son?"

"Not Diluc the boy you're carrying"

"I have two sons? You know this??"

But then the Caribert quest came out mentioning Kaeya ran away from home near immediately and was dragged home by Crepus just as fast and it became even funnier

Cause imagine you're by the docks one day and richest man in town gets off the boat with no cargo but instead a tiny child you may not have seen before that Crepus seems to be very cross with at the moment and threatening to turn him into a leash kid if he runs off again

In a small town that loves gossip do you know how fast that information is spreading? Cause I do and Varka's knocking on Crepus's door 30 minutes later like:

"Is this what we're doing? We're just taking kids now?"

Both paths lead to Varka asking where Kaeya comes from and getting hit with a

"I think you're a bit too old to still be confused about the birds and the bees Varka"

Varka getting frustrated to the point he just starts demanding Kaeya tell him what's up

Love to see him following in his fathers footsteps of stressing Varka the fuck out

And upon hearing how his birth father left for juice and didn't return Varka went

"Good! That was ALL I needed to know!!"

Follow ups on if his father intended to abandon him or got lost in the storm and needed a search party?

Don't care!! You weren't kidnapped!!

Welcome to the knights! 🤝

Which bringing it back to it only being a rumor

In a town of alcoholics, who's gonna call out the one guy with the winery?

Here's some add ons that got sparked from the comment section 😘

Bonus panels would have included Varka showing up with Rosaria one day mimicking Crepus about "wHaT you ForGot I haD a Kid" sparking a trend within the community of just adopting random children to the point posters are made saying "In Barbatos name: See a child Take a child"

Alice seeing it and pulling a "when in rome" tucking both Albedo and Diluc(who is yelling he is an adult) under her arms and telling Klee if she ever sees someone in need of a mom let her know she'll send over the paperwork right away

And then the last bonus: Venti wakes up, walks in through the gate while playing a tune, and stops when he sees the poster, not sure if he needs to start yet another revolution, or if this one is fine actually

I imagine the posters had to be taken down because visitors were losing their kids left and right and the solution of parents pinning a note saying "not dead & still want custody" to their kids shirt didn't catch on but the saying still lives strong in the hearts of Mondstadt's citizens I mean look Bennett and his 27 dads Mondstadt may have a lot of orphans but the demand is even higher

Comment on original post:

"I have a headcanon where Kaeya fooled first Crepus, then the rest of Mondstadt but.this is too funny!! I want to see this happening!"

Which prompted one of my new favorite lines at the end:

"Wait by fool Crepus first do you mean like Crepus finding him out in the storm bringing him inside to ask him where he lives and Kaeya's just

"? I live here? You adopted me? Are you feeling okay?"

Cause I'm absolutely cry laughing over this that's so good but that also means when Kaeya runs away Crepus is just

"hey no no l'm not misplacing you a second time come home" "

[french-unknown]

Hii can I please request a headcanon of Zoro, Shanks, Smoker, Ace x f!Reader? About their relationship with s/o after 20 or 30 years? Like getting old, getting used to each other, bored of the relationship, or happy being together... Angst/fluff anything is fine. Please feel free to change my request to your liking. Thank you 🧡🤍

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: zoro, shanks, smoker, ace 𝐂/𝐖: fluff, light hurt 𝐀/𝐍: Hope you will like it! ʕ￫ᴥ￩ʔ 𝐖/𝐂: 830

| m a s t e r l i s t | - | p t . 2 |

✧ You are the quintessential little routine couple.

Indeed, even if he has become the best swordsman in the world, he still remains the same mosshead who spends his days training, drinking and sleeping. For your part, now that you installed the land to test a few years ago, you have also established your routine. You spend your days separately and you get together in the evening to talk about it over a bottle of sake.

✧ The evening bottle together is a tradition in your relationship!

✧ The Straw Hats, especially Luffy, move into your home every time they pass nearby. The sofa becomes their kingdom.

✧ The only time your voice rises is when you have to decide who does the dishes, the cleaning or the meal. Neither of you likes doing housework so it ends up being "who did it last time?"

✧ You have a hammock in the garden so you can nap there together on peaceful sunny days.

✧ He will still love you just as much despite the years, now that he has fulfilled his dream, he greatly appreciates the tranquility and calm of a life together far from everything.

✧ The sea remains the first of its mistresses so, if you decide to withdraw from piracy, it will be the end of your relationship with him. He will still try at first to continue the relationship at a distance but it will eventually run out of steam and he will give up.

He doesn't want to put you through the hassle of keeping yourself to himself when he can't be there for you.

✧ You still have a child together by accident and he is the happiest father in the world.

✧ He even try to stay on land with you in order to start your family. However, the call of the sea is too strong and you woke up one morning with the bed cold and an "I'm sorry" note left on the pillow.

✧ He will remain present in your child's life by requesting some sort of shared custody.

He will use his time over half the year to take them on his boat. He will live his family life by giving them the experience of some adventures at his side as well as the life of a pirate. These moments are the most precious to him even if the moment when he brings his child back to you and leaves, leaving you behind, tears his heart a little more each time.

✧ The sea is a jealous and cruel lover.

✧ Above all, he is a man who believes in his work and is totally devoted to it. He thus spends most of his time in his office or with his colleagues.

✧ It didn't bother you at the beginning of the relationship because you thought it was temporary. But no.

He would come home very late in the evening and go back to work before you opened your eyes in the morning. And that was if he came home to sleep at your place. Sometimes he would just sleep at work or go away for weeks on business trips.

✧ This, coupled with his unaffectionate behavior, made you doubt his feelings after a few years. The arguments started and he grew tired of coming home only to hear criticism.

As a result, he came home even less.

✧ You ended up breaking up after a few years of dating.

✧ He was quite satisfied with it at first because you had annoyed him so much by reproaching him that he didn't even remember why he had loved you in the first place. He freely drowned himself in work the first year then, returning home one evening, he remembered why he had loved you so much while the loneliness was eating away at him little by little.

He had made a mistake.

✧ No matter the years or time that pass, he still loves you with puppy love like the first day.

Wherever you step, he will worship the ground you walk on as long as his heart beats. He says sweet words to you every morning and, every time you wake up, he will be there cuddling you and looking at you with wonder. He will never stop loving you.

✧ He takes you on dates very regularly so that you always have your own time and takes great care of it. If you have children, he leaves them in Dadan's care for the evening.

✧ He wants to have children quickly enough in your relationship to build his family with you. However, your two children will be adopted because he refuses to pass on his genes for fear of bringing bad luck to his children.

To strengthen the family, Luffy and Sabo are your children's godfathers while Dadan and Makino are their godmothers.

✧ He is more confident about your feelings for him than when he was younger, which means he is more confident in your relationship.

✧ He pesters you endlessly for having a dog so watch out!

𝐉𝐎𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @iheartamora @bontensh0e @opchara @lys-ada @xomingyu @dozcan123

[awhoreintheory]

I am back for moreee! Speking of People Who Look Alike And Could Be Confused For Peter's Parent!! What about freaking Bruce himself? Supposedly both Dick and Jay lookso much like him that people suspect he could have fathered them. The ages make more sense if *he's* the one to have (another) secret teen child.

I can picture him crushed that he missed another son's childhood, but maybe somehow hoping this is a chance to have a civilian child? One he doesn't have to constantly worry will be in mortal peril every other night?? Psych, bitch, this one came with his whole ass vigilante persona, superpowers, and suit already in hand!!!

WELCOME BACK MY BELOVED ANON ❤️

You know what? Logically, Bruce would probably be the first one fingers are pointed at ngl

"God, B, another one?!?"

He doesn't live it down for months. I mean, come on, the kid really does look like he could be Bruce's! Just, whoever the mom is, also seemed to pass on some very strong genes. The freckles are new, none of his ancestors had any. He looked like Bruce in the way Dick looked like Bruce as a child.

And who would assume 30 year old Dick has a 14-16 year old kid? Bruce is the ancient one with a penchant for sleeping around. (Dick does too, but you don't see him with a kid!) (Lol he thought)

So imagine Brucie Wayne spending time with this orphaned, homeless child. News articles are already calling Peter a Wayne. It's inevitable he's adopted. All of Bruce's other kids are already treating him like a brother, too. Man, seriously, what is Peter's luck? Getting forcibly parented by TWO billionairs? Sounds fake. His luck gets his loved ones killed, but hey, at least he'll have money for a funeral.

And then the unthinkable happens. The ever thorough and skeptical and skittish Batman fucking forgot to do a DNA test. Doesn't really matter, he's already mentally adopted and ready to sign physical papers. Except...

Holy fuck. Peter isn't his son, but rather his goddamn grandchild. Dick is a dad. Bruce is a grandpa. The whole Batfamily is in shock and disbelief.

But Peter looked so much like Bruce... then they look at Dick. Then back at Bruce. It all makes sense.

The bats don't often make mistakes, but when they do, they're huge. And hilarious.

[starscabaret]

☆Meeting Yandere! Vincent ☆

pairing: yandere! Vincent x fem reader 

summary: Meeting Vinny <333

warnings: n/a 

authors note: 

Vincent had brushed into the small town a few months earlier on a contract for his engineering firm. The job paid well and he had little to no attachment anywhere so he made the move. He lived in an upscale condo about 30 minutes out from the actual town he’d be working in. Paid for by the company of course. 

He had a routine, call mom once a week, send a letter once a month, go to work every weekday, go to the gym every weekday, grocery shop on Sundays, and get a haircut every 3 weeks. Not much changed for him really unless it was necessary. 

He liked it that way, in his free time he drew, invested, and dabbled in a few books and tv. He wouldn’t call himself the happiest man alive, but he was getting by, and his mom was doing well. That’s all he ever wanted. 

Just like any other day on the job site Vincent set in his small office inside the mobile trailer going over blueprints and whatnot. That is until you came banging on the flimsy trailer door. Vincent thought the damn police were here. Lo and Behold when he opened the door there you were in pajamas, and slippers, and sleep still in your eyes. 

As soon as the door opened you spoke, “Look man, I really was nice at first and didn’t say anything but do y’all have to be so loud at 7 am? It’s waking me and my son.”

Vincent stood there deadpan he didn’t know what to reply. There was nothing he could really do to delay construction in the early hours without derailing the whole project. And normally he would have slammed the door in your face had it been anyone else. But you, you made his heart beat fast and he blanked on a response. Besides the fact that he was a man of very few words.

“Come in.” He said as he pulled you into the office like trailer.

“You seem to be the boss sir, is there anything you can do?” You said while rubbing your eyes.

“You must live in the house a few acres over, what’s your name?” He spoke low and grumbly.

“Yeah I do, it’s a family house but no one gives a shit anymore. All moved off to the big city, scared of the water. Oh, Im f/n l/n” you replied in an annoyed tone.  

“I can’t tell them to halt all work in the morning is there anything I can do instead?” He asked, wanting to remedy this. He didn’t want to upset you. You were alluring to him. This was also the most he had spoken to anyone in days.

“You come to explain to my son why you’re disrupting his sleep!” you said with irritation in your voice.

When Vincent got to your home to apologize to your son, he was met with Ben. Ben was a 3-year-old beautiful Doberman. 

Vincent was a bit relieved it was a dog and not a child, as he was already daydreaming about how he would give you your first child.

Vincent didn’t speak much or have the best social skills but he knew that his interest in you wasn’t normal. Nor did he know how to express such interest.

Good thing you found him handsome, and took interest in his quiet reserved demeanor. You had to know more, you had to dig past the surface. You were bold and willing to take charge and make the moves. You had never seen a man like him in your town before, or anywhere for that matter. 

You were happy you went and complained that morning. Who said complaining didn’t get you anywhere?

[m1ssunderstanding]

You know if even Francie is saying it I'm starting to think old Jim Mac may have been slightly abusive, I don't think that's the right word since what happened it was a different time and place etc. But with the way he treated Paul and Mike, especially after Mary's passing and how he expected so much more when his son was one of the most famous musicians in the world, it's just - his whole family to he fair it's like they never really saw him as human and more akin to a musical monkey

Yeah I would actually call it abuse. I think Jim probably had mostly good intentions and genuinely loved his sons, but that doesn't mean his treatment of them was just or didn't have any affect on them. By my definitions, there's emotional as well as physical abuse going on (Paul was expected and pressured from the time they started to realize how intelligent he was to grow up and save his entire family from poverty; Appearances were everything and emotional needs suppressed; There was no financial security; After Mary's death, Paul was extremely patentified, depended on emotionally and materially by the person who was simultaneously physically abusing him)

About the normalization of the physical abuse specifically for a minute, if it was so normal for the time, why is Paul the only one of the four Beatles to have experienced it? My family has always been working class, and my grandparents who are Paul's age were not subjected to the violence that Paul was. Not saying it wasn't more common then and more accepted, but it's also not something you can just pass off as "that's what everyone did in those days".

Also, I wouldn't be surprised at all if even in that one interview where Paul specifically talked about how he got Jim to stop hitting him, he was downplaying. That's what Paul does. We have no way of knowing. But it does fit with Paul's usual story-telling and framing of events that maybe it was more than what he said.

And yeah, the financial abuse started early and clearly continued far into adulthood, maybe up until Jim's death when Paul cut Angie and Ruth off for selling his birth certificate. Paul was trained as a door-to-door salesman for Jim's club as a nine year old in the literal projects. He figured out how to snatch other people's lunch tickets out of the fire at the inny and pass them off as unused. What are we going to do without her money? He first saw John when he was a paper boy and John was buying chips. As soon as the band started making money, he became the head provider of his family (Jim made 10 pounds a week at the cotton brokers while Paul made 15 a week in Hamburg) and when the band wasn't making money, he found whatever work he could to make up for it. Meanwhile, we have no reason to believe Jim wasn't gambling insatiably. As the child of an addict, I know addictions don't just go away and then resurface when they're affordable again, and Jim was certainly an addict. He gambled so much Paul had to buy his house back for him (that he'd bought for him in the first place while Paul himself was living in an attic room like some kind of starving artist at the same time as the rest of the band was buying their mansions).

Paul clearly loved his dad so much and craved Jim's approval, trying to find a girl Jim would approve of after Jane, trying to be a good family man, trying to stay close to his working class roots. You can even see it in his music, from When I'm 64 to A Walk in the Park with Eloise. (I think the 1920s & 30s influence in much of his music came from him genuinely loving it and also from a desire for his dad to appreciate his talent). But he also had no patience for Jim's frailty toward the end, didn't go to the funeral, and didn't write about Jim's death in MYFN.

I really don't know too much about the extended family, anon, but it does seem the case that part of Paul's role in it, from the beginning, was to be a savior and a cash cow, and no one considered his humanity.

[user2772636]

Douzième Fille

12th girl

××《☆》××

××《☆》××

Looking back at the day you first met, you realise how far you've gone. You appreciate the little things in life and some little people, too.

===

Joseph Descamps x Reader

Warnings: This is literally just plain fluff, LAST CHAPTER OF DOUZIÈME FILLE!!!

===

===

Chapter ten: I love you

===

You had six best days of your life.

Paris, France. 1973.

The wedding was one of the best days of your life. You had a beautiful gown, a beautiful cathedral, a beautiful ceremony, and a beautiful husband.

Everything was perdect from the venue, to the food, to the gifts, and to the guests.

You saw old friends. Callum, of course, came and was pronounced man of honour by Joseph. Simone and Jean Pierre had gotten locked in about two years ago, right after they finished college. Michèle and Laubrac came back after profuse apologies of leaving. They haven't married each other yet, but you have a feeling it's soon. Also because Joseph told you that Laubrac told him that he'll propose soon.

Europe Trip, 1973

The second best day of your life was your honeymoon. You and your now husband went around Europe. Going to places you've already been and places you haven't gone to.

A side note, you left that celebrity profile ages ago. It was too toxic anyway, with all the drama you didn't want to get into. Callum did the opposite of this. You're happy for him. And his fiancé, or as he likes to call him, his husband.

Bordeux, 1974

Moving was hard, but it was the third best day of your life. And carrying Briseis was a part of it.

Briseis, your first born. She was named after a character from the Iliad, the same Iliad you had presented in that project with Joseph back in high school.

She was as bright as her father, always laughing and wanting to have fun. Joseph loves her so much to the point that he will always be the one to put her back to sleep when she wakes in the early morning. He does that because he loves you, too.

Bordeux, 1976

The fourth best day of your life was when you gave birth to George.

George was named after your late cat you had in high school. He was taken care of both you and Joseph, which held a special place in your heart. Truly, George, your cat was your first child. But, let's not forget Briseis.

Briseis was two now, gaining the ability to speak, walk, run, whatever drained her unsifting energy. You were most proud, as well as your loving husband.

One of these nights, you'd catch him talking to both of them, talking about whatever they wanted to talk about, telling them stories, showing them fun. They fall sound asleep after, and you, for one, are grateful for him.

Also, you adopted two cats. One Achilles, one Patroclus. What? You couldn't help it.

Bordeux, 1980

Only a few months ago, your beautiful Callum was born. He was obviously named after your best friend. Callum cried when he found out. That was the fifth best day of your life.

He flew all the way to where you lived, seeing as now he lived with his lover in Sicily. He gave him countless amounts of gifts, even the ones month old babies couldn't use.

The house was fully packed. Your three children, two pets, and a mother and a father. Their very beautiful father.

You were in your 30s now, and you're so glad you're in this age with him by your side.

You sit in your husbands office, reading a book in the corner of the room. He was finishing up some papers, cigarettes between his lips, and sometime later blowing out the smoke.

You were halfway through a stanza when you heard a record break. Music started playing, the volume going up slowly. You look up from your hardcover to Joseph standing there, hands in his pockets and an eye on you. You raise your eyebrows. He does so, too.

"Dance with me, honey." He says, walking towards you slowly after he butted his cigarette out. You roll your eyes, putting your book down.

"You'll wake the kids up with that music." Even after saying that, you get up anyways, grabbing the hands he offered you a while ago.

He shrugs simply, sliding a hand on your hip and raising his other. "We'll take them back to sleep then. Dance with me." He presses his forehead to yours, kissing the tip of your nose.

You can't help but close your eyes, relaxation hitting your body like a truck. It's been a while since you felt like this. You both had been so busy with work or with the kids. You needed this. He did, too.

He starts to hum along the song. "I can see it in your eyes that you despise the same old lies you heard the night before."

Your mind flashes back to your high school days. The weeks of ignoring each other was wasting time that could've been used for loving instead.

"And though it's just a line to you, for me, it's true and never seemed so right before."

You look back at the first day of school. You thought you hated him. You thought he hated you. But in trutg it was the opposite, he confessed. He loved you the second he laid eyes on you, and you had been too blind to see, trying to distract yourself from the fact you did actually love him, too.

"I practice every day to find some clever lines to say to make the meaning come true. But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late and I'm alone with you."

Seven years you were away from each other. He told you how much he missed you that night after the gala. He told you he prepared, he practised, because he didn't want to mess anything up. You told him nothing could because even after convincing yourself in high school that you didn't love him, you still did.

"The time is right. Your perfume fills my head. The stars get red, and, oh, the night's so blue." He turns you to spin, and you get back to your place in front of him, swaying with a hand on his chest.

"And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like, "I love you. "" He looks deep into your eyes, now staying still. He takes your lifted hand to his lips, pressing his pretty pink lips on it.

"I love you." He says, the instruments in the background adding to the moment. You smile, and he mirrors you. You place a kiss on those lips, tilting your head a bit. You part away.

"I love you." You say, caressing his cheeks. You're so glad you ended up here. With him. This was your sixth favourite day of your life.

"Mommy? Daddy?" A tiny voice asks. You both turn your head to Briseis, eyes droopy and hair a mess. She walks closer to the two of you, and Joseph does the task of lifting her up to your level.

"Yes, sweetheart? Why aren't you asleep?" Joseph said gently, and you can't help but show a smile.

"I can't. I wanna hear a story." You two nod at each other before carrying on to turn the record player off and heading to Briseis' room.

Once you tuck her in well, leaving the bedside lamp on, you question. "Alright, which story do you want for tonight." Joseph sits on the other side, brushing your daughter's hair with his fingers.

"How did you two meet?" She asks, fluffing her blanket up. You and Joseph look at each other, smiling knowingly, before you continue.

"Well, this is where it started. It was 1963. They mixed boys and girls in the same school. I was the twelfth girl."

××《☆》××

End - Chapter ten: I love you/Douzième Fille Series

××《☆》××

The series has officially ended. I'm so sad and so happy at the same time. I can't believe it. It's been so long with this series, and it's over. Our babies have grown up and have their own babies.

To all the people who read this, thank you so much for keeping up with it. This was my first ever series, and its amazing how many people have come and followed the journey.

This is a memory that'll be embedded in me for the rest of my fuckign life, no matter how cringe that sounds, but it's true. I made a lot of memories with an online fanfic series. it's crazy

I love you all so much and want to thank you guys for the support. I will continue writing for joseph it just depends on my mood. I will now start to write for other ppl, like u guys saw me post abt hamzah.

ANWWW, it's been a journey. Thank you again, and I hope you all enjoyed it.

[cagesofgold]

eren jaeger headcanons <3

🎵teenage fever - Drake 🎧

His favorite way to unwind is to play with your hair. Due to having longer hair himself he’s grown accustomed to the different skill sets required to craft different hair styles, and actually, is really good at it. His fingers are lithe and nimble and are able to weave through strands with ease.

He drives an all black car with tinted windows, and has a polaroid of you in a photo booth with him on your first date in a plastic case hanging from his rear view mirror.

he also always makes sure to keep your favorite snacks in the car, as he’s a guy who’s bound to text you at 2am asking bout some “you up for a drive?” 💀

in terms of tattoos despite popular belief, i personally think he’d keep it on the minimal side. He’d maybe have some on his arms - or a sleeve, but he likes to keep them tidy. Although, he is one of those guys that would have that tiktok thirst trap spider on his chest or adjacent to his v line…..

this mf smells gooooood, he’s so paranoid about smelling bad because of Jean saying he smelt like a burning pile of bodies in high school and hasn’t been able to shake the fear since.

despite not being overly adorned in tattoos he does like piercings. He’s got about five on his ears and has a nose piercing but he always forgets about it.

loves reality shows. A few months into your relationship he noticed you watching them and acted with his full chest that he had no interest, yet as the weeks rolled by he somehow got closer and closer to the couch and before you knew it he was fully shouting over Lisa Rinna. (You’ve also seen him following over 30 housewives from the different shows on instagram…)

cannot stand metal music because he spent his entire childhood covering his ears from where it bled from under Mikasa’s door. (Otherwise he’d probably enjoy it)

he’d dress quite simply, mainly with blacks and whites and would sometimes mix and match with some red or green, but i don’t think he’s as ambitious as some of his friends fashion wise, but he still looks good as hell.

his favorite holiday is with out a doubt halloween, is some of this because he spent so long as a child building the most elaborate scares for the kids on his street? maybe. but he also likes autumn as a season so that has something to do with it.

doesn’t get along with his dad too well but is a total mamas boy. He visits her at least twice a month considering they live in different cities.

is a cat person, but when he was younger he liked dogs more as according to him they were “much radder” - his own words 💀, but as he got older and became more subdued he developed a preference for cats.

has anxiety that he manages to hide, he wasn’t used to being comforted and it took a while for him to fully open up to you.

despite smoking weed with Jean and connie almost every other day he still makes a dramatic scene any time Zeke lights a cigarette around him, i’m talking coughing and clutching his chest, Zeke’s standing there like this 🧍‍♀️waiting for him to stop his fucking shenanigans.

if you want to go out with Eren Jaeger prepare to be a victim of the sassy man apocalypse, because my god, this man is relentless, and the SIDE EYE on this mf is ridiculous. He could knock down an army with his sass alone.

takes good care of his hair, oils it twice a week and does hair masks in order to keep it soft and shiny. He can’t have his gorgeous girl going out with some guy with brittle, greasy ass hair…

goes to the gym but doesn’t like it very much. he goes most days for at least an hour but never posts gym pics on his instagram or anything, he just has no interest apart from maintaining his body.

cannot sleep without you. he can try, sure, but he’ll never be successful. Before you both decided to move in together he was at your house every night, nuzzled against your body with light breaths slipping from his lips, which sparked the conversation, why not just move in, you’re here everyday anyway?

tends to bottle things up, and if something is bothering him you will have to work it out of him slowly…but he’s trying, for you he’s trying.

his lock screen is a photo of you asleep against his chest, he just thought you looked so peaceful.

gets embarrassingly competitive in just dance, threw a Wii at Connie once because he made him lose a perfect score on timber.

finally, he loves stargazing, especially with you. He’ll take you out to a deserted street, a bag full of snacks and a joint as you both lay on the hood of his car, chatting about whatever comes to mind, and it’s at those moments, when his eyes focus on the slope of your nose and the shape of your mouth, that he feels a warmth inside him he’s never felt before. <3

[reds-writings]

souls further entwined

(pairing: rust cohle x fem!reader)

a/n: finally an update for these two! sorry to keep you waiting! I've got a lot of life changes in the works so updates might come a little slower over the next few months depending but i hope this tides y'all over for a bit! this takes place sometime after if only tonight we could sleep

word count: roughly 2.5k

warnings: (PLEASE LOOK BEFORE CONTINUING) discussions of abortion, child loss, forced/unsafe medical procedures, bad family situations, angst angst, cursing, semi-not-so-smut at the end, minors avert your gaze or else!!

The hidden gem of a restaurant that Rust had brought you to somewhere in the French Quarter was rather nice with its live jazz band playing in the corner and lavish decor. The tinkering of silverware layered on top of the low rumblings of fellow diners did what it could to fill the void of silence that had long settled between you and the man sitting adjacent. He had spontaneously asked you– well more like told you to go out with him tonight. Something about wanting to do things right once and for all after all this tiptoeing around.  The whole notion had taken you off guard, admittedly.

You’d been buzzing so bright leading up to tonight that you could've probably put a lightning bug to shame. He’d asked you on a real date. A step forward from the semi-clandestine meetings you’d both been settling on for far too long now. It was unlike him to outwardly admit to much but you doubted it was a wide occurrence that he’d take a girl on a date just because he was bored. This had meaning.

With that thought swirling in mind, you’d found your best dress and took what constituted as way too long of a pampering shower to best prepare for a promising night out with the man you'd become so deeply enamored with. It wasn’t often you got to get all prettied up for some fun given that work always managed to swallow you whole. 

God you’d been so excited. 

From the time you’d gotten into Rust’s Ford up until you’d sat down to eat he had yet to utter a single word to you. Hell, he’d hardly even managed to look at you either and it was starting to cause a distasteful rock that went by the name of dread to sink lower and lower in your gut. 

Dexterous fingers stayed picking at the table cloth as a form of lengthy distraction and you fought the bubbling urge to snatch his hand and demand what gives. It wasn’t hard to miss the anxiety bleeding from his form with those tense shoulders and that telltale faraway look in his eyes. You didn’t want to continue the cycle of jumping to conclusions when it came to the routine lack of forthcoming involving his more vulnerable thoughts out of insecurity so you bit the bullet,

“Y’know…usually on a date there’s a bit more talkin;. Maybe startin’ with questions like ‘what’s your favorite color’-- it’s blue by the way, or ‘where’d you get that lovely dress’. Could also do with lookin’ a little less green in the gills.”

That got him to stop fidgeting but a response was not yet prompted. You sighed and looked down at the vibrant cloth napkin in your lap,

“If you’re startin’ to regret this we can just forget about it and head back-”

“I don’t know if I can be what you need.” He all but blurted and it had your head shooting back up in suprise.

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t…I don’t find myself being suited for marriage like before. I can’t give you kids because I don’t think it’s right-”

“Wait a minute just-...slow your roll for a second.” Your mind was going a mile a minute at his frank outburst and you were having trouble pinpointing just where it all came from. 

“First of all, I don’t necessarily need the promise of marriage to feel fulfilled. I’m about to hit 30 soon enough and I’ve supplied plenty for myself that I'm not sure some flimsy marriage papers can add on to. I’m not just sayin’ all this to make you feel better either so don’t go down that route.” You were tenderly stern in your delivery to make sure what you were saying was actually sticking without sounding offended.

All he could give was a slight nod as the tip of his thumb came to his mouth: a nervous tic.

“Secondly…” You cleared your throat slightly and gave yourself a moment of pause. The latter concern wasn’t that of an easy subject. For either of you. Besides your family and probably Marty, not many knew of your reality when it came to the idea of starting a family. 

“I can’t have children. So that wouldn’t even be on the table to begin with I suppose.” 

That seemed to stun Rust. His expression working out how, what, and when this came to be. You cleared your throat again. Talking about it was never easy no matter how much time passed.

“The gist of it is…well I got knocked up when I was sixteen. Total accident, shocker. And um…my pa didn't approve. Not one bit, bein’ the respectable county figure he was as a seasoned lawyer n' all.” 

Your sinuses began to sting but you willed away any threat of tears as you tried to explain. Rust didn't say a word, his expression hardening minutely with a knowing sense of where this was headed.

“I didn’t wanna listen. I was scared of course but the boy I was foolin’ around with at the time was nice and had a family who wanted to be involved so that was enough for me. My uppity family could shove it for all I cared,” You scoffed wryly but continued, “But pa was adamant. He couldn’t have some little whore of daughter muckin’ things up but we were a church family so abortion was obviously out of the question. At least one would think that was the case,” 

“Long story short he dragged me to some back alley clinic where things would be kept under wraps. They fuckin’ botched it of course and made me sterile. Didn’t really know how bad it was until another loss and a visit with the doctor after trying with a serious boyfriend some time ago…” You shrugged as you fiddled with your unused silverware. You hadn’t spoken with your family since then. Letting you be mutilated for the sake of preserving a frivolous public image was a hard thing to let go of.

You remember how sick you were afterward. Infection from the procedure and a decent amount of blood loss, go figure. You only recall the house's maids nursing you back.

Your pa had never been able to look you in the eye again. Your mama just pretended nothing had ever happened the way it did.

Sometimes your mind had the habit of taking a dark turn every now and then, wondering if they would’ve felt any remorse if their forced course of action ended up actually killing you. With a selfishness like they had you couldn't help but doubt it. 

They had always taken more pride in your sister anyway. 

“So yeah…you don’t have to worry about the possibility of kids when it comes to me. It’s not like with our line of work it’d be much of a good idea anyway. Marty’s a prime example I'd reckon.” Your laugh was brittle in a weak attempt to lift the heavy weight you felt like you’d set over the mood. 

Rust’s large hand reached over to encase your shaking one to garner your attention. Looking up you weren’t met with pity or disgust, but with recognition. One shared in the experience of grief. Of having something meant to be so precious ripped from you in the cruelest of ways. He didn’t feel sorry for you. He understood you. More than anyone else had or could. 

“You’re enough for me, Rust. I don’t know if you’ve noticed by now but there’s not much you can do to send me runnin’ for the hills. I like you as you are and I don’t need more. I wouldn’t expect you to change your mind over somethin’ like that anyway. It just wouldn’t be fair to ask.” His eyes glazed over at your words and he had to let go of the troubled breath he’d been holding. He brought your hand to his lips and kept them there as an unspoken thank you. 

After a moment or two he set your hand back on the tabletop, still grasped in his. 

“How about we find some shitty dive and let loose over there. This place is startin’ to feel a lil’ too stuffy for me.” Your light-hearted jab made the corner of his lips quirk up before he nodded,

“Yes, ma'am.” 

—

After a relaxing drive accompanied by the tunes of Willie Nelson in search of a dive bar that was sufficient enough, the ice from all the worries of earlier had melted as fast as they had formed. The establishment you ended up coming across was a more than welcome change of pace compared to that of the restaurant (as lovely as it was). It wasn’t big by any means but there was room to dance and plenty of open spots to sit around and drink. 

You looped your arm through his and leaned into his side as you made your way to settle down. There wasn’t enough time or clarity earlier to truly appreciate just how good he looked for the occasion but now you had all the time in the world to shamelessly ogle.

He’d donned a black dress shirt, forgoing a tie and leaving a few buttons undone in a way that had you feeling dizzy, as well as a nice fitting pair of jeans that had plenty of passersby’s eyes glued to his shapely form.

“The ladies of Louisiana might just beat me up for a chance with you. If your face ain’t motivation enough your ass surely will be.” You nudged him and he shook his head mirthfully. 

“One would say jealousy is unbecoming.”

“Who said anythin’ about jealousy? I’ve earned my stake in claimin’ you as eye candy fair and square. They can try all they want but they were just too slow to the draw.”

“With your pension for being scrappy, I’d say they wouldn’t have much of a chance to begin with.” 

“Gee, is that the only reason they don’t stand a chance?” You quirked a brow. You knew the answer but pestering him to fess up hardly ever got you far. 

“What d’ya wanna drink, Miss Envy.” He drawled, not one to fall into your traps so easily and you flicked him with narrowed eyes.

“Last time I checked my name don’t even come close to rhymin’ with envy so you can quit with that.” 

The shithead just smirked.

“I’ll take a jack and coke. Now run along.” You waved him away and he just shook his head. In his short absence you’d found a high top and decided to claim as your territory for the night. The music was clearer over this way and your heart jumped at the beginning notes of Fleetwood Mac’s Beautiful Child.

Upon his return, Rust had hardly been able to set the drinks down before you were grabbing at him to park yourselves out on the dancefloor. A few other couples were swaying in place so you figured it wouldn’t be all that awkward to steal a moment for yourselves.

It was strange, being able to be so open in your affections without the curious eyes of Marty or anyone else from the precinct to make judgments. You could just be yourselves. It was a breath of fresh air after all this time.

As the song gained momentum, you wrapped your arms around his neck, toying with the hairs at his nape while his strong ones made home around your waist to pull you in closer. A small spark of pride lit up your chest at him being able to be this comfortable with you.

As you rested your head along the expanse of his chest you felt the feather-light stamp of his kiss at your crown. The tenderness of the simple act almost had you turning into one hell of a mush puddle. You settled on burrowing deeper if that were any more possible as Stevie sang on. Fighting the effect he had on you was always going to be a losing battle. 

You wouldn’t trade this moment for a damned thing. 

—

It was nearing almost three in the morning by the time you arrived back home. Your mind had been pleasantly warmed by the drinks and all the dancing. Rust even seemed to have a newfound glow to him and it was triggering something innately carnal in you. 

Taking an opportunity from the pocket of silence, you scooted along the Ford’s bench seat to make a place for yourself along his lap. 

The relaxed daze displayed across his features was something you’d never had the pleasure of seeing before. It was nothing like the faraway trance he’d trap himself in with all the pills and whatnot in fruitless efforts of chasing undisturbed sleep. No, this was true content. 

“I had a good time.” You didn’t mean to sound so coy but it couldn’t be helped as your hands crept up to frame his fine face.

“That’s good. I’m glad.” He hummed as he took in every feature your beautiful face had to offer. It was like striking gold. Especially in this expansive wasteland of a state.

“When we get a chance we should do it again. S’nice to go out…feel normal…” Hair lying in his line of light distracted you as you moved it out of the way with a gentle sweep. The truck’s cab could probably burst with the steadily increasing tension so you did what any normal woman would do with such a man in front of them and kissed him with all you had. 

It started out syrupy and languid as if you had all the time in the world to be out macking in the car like a pair of careless teenagers. Your skin hummed like a live wire at his sudden grasp on the plush fat of your hips which served as the green light to go further. 

Your delicate fingers carded through his soft waves as the muscle of his tongue took dominance over the kiss. A meek whimper cracked within your throat as you tried to keep up with what little oxygen you had remaining. When Rust kissed, it was all-consuming. It was no act he took passively when it came to you which had been made crystal clear to you by now. With each pass of his wet-hot caress, you could feel everything he wanted to say to you without complication of expression through words. 

His mouth traveled across the apple of your cheek down the expanse of your neck, nipping and sucking with such lax reverence it had you arching as if you could fuse your ribs with his. Souls to be permanently intertwined.

With a starting grind of your hips that your body had no willpower to control you could feel him hardening with each intensifying roll. His choked moan had you remembering where you were and you’d be damned if your first actual night with him was in this old, damned truck right outside your house. 

“D’ya wanna take this inside?” You offered in a breathless huff, trying to catch your breath in vain. You’re sure that even in the dark of the truck’s cabin the heat of your face could set the whole space aglow. He nipped at your bottom lip and soothed it with another peck,

“I would.”

The sudden tangle of limbs clambering to make haste towards the beacon of your front door would’ve been downright hysterical had you any hubris. 

a/n: sorry to blue ball you lmao. I HOPE THIS WASN'T CRINGE AHHHHH. i'll probably come back and edit this later. feedback is always appreciated!