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August 6th, 1315: The Ezzo Farm
As her pregnancy progressed, Vanna did her very best to get a hold of herself and upkeep the house despite her dizzy spells. Adamuccio, meanwhile, managed to finally get in some archery practice.
He'd enjoyed it when he was a young boy but with his large farm, he'd not been able to practice very much.
It was while Vanna was napping, resting after cleaning her house, that she felt the first stabs of labor pains.
She was a rather heavy sleeper, so for pain to wake her? It had to be an extremely harsh pain.
The pain was followed by a rush of water. It terrified her to her core but it also hurt. She had known that labor was harsh and involved a lot of screaming, but she didn't realize that this was why those women were screaming.
Why did they continue to have babies? Is it some kind of cruel joke from the Watcher?
A part of her was grateful that there weren't many chores to be done around the farm right now because it meant her husband could be present for her labor.
He was a source of strength. Her rational brain would want to kick herself for saying such a thing since his work puts food on their table and lack of it put them in serious danger, but she didn't know how she would do this without him.
That thought only became stronger (while she could still think) as she was ushered to bed. Finally, it would be time to meet their baby. And find out if they were having a boy or a girl.
While it was unseemly for a man to be with a woman during birth, they weren't fancy people. They were the poorest of the poor and couldn't afford a midwife, even with their community offering support.
As her labor progressed, her husband never once left her side. Vanna had never felt such pain in her life, she felt as if she was dying.
But Adamuccio kept her grounded. Kept reminding her that if she doesn't do this, her child would never be born and she would never get to meet him or her.
That was enough to help her find strength.
She screamed, burying her face in her husband's shoulder as she pushed... and pushed... and pushed.....
Finally, she heard a cry. She was flooded with relief as she reached towards her husband - who handed her a perfect little son.
"Sul sul, nooboo." She whispered to him; marveling at the fact that he seemed to stop crying once he was in her arms.
#tw: childbirth#idk why i decided to allow him to deliver his own baby#I just feel (with no evidence) that lower class people didn't have the privilege of being picky#also this man is in his 30s and just had his first living child#it feels like my peasant/serf families have NO kids while my nobles are overrunning the place with kids#ts4#sims 4#the sims 4#sims 4 ultimate decades challenge#ultimate decades challenge#udc#morbid's ultimate decades challenge#tartosa#1315#1315 tartosa#the great famine#ezzo family
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Going Low Contact
Generational cycles and childhood abuse.
CW for discussion of childhood abuse Iâm choosing to skip out on winter / fall holiday celebrations with my family this year. My last visit with them was a bit emotionally stressful and highlighted some long-term family problems. Some of those problems center around my dad and how he chose to treat me and my siblings as children. In the post I linked above I talked about how physical violenceâŚ
#Abuse#authoritarian parenting#CW Child Abuse#Dobson#exvangelical#Family#Family dynamics#Gary Ezzo#Growing Kids God&039;s Way#Me? Obey Him?#obedience to authority#Religion
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from A Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy by Tia Levings (2024)
There was a new course at church recommended by Dr. John F. MacArthur, president of the Southern Baptist Convention and friend to Dr. Vines. Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo attended MacArthurâs church and wrote Preparation for Parenting and Growing Kids Godâs Way. Signing up to attend the course seemed as natural and innocuous as registering at Toys âRâ Us for a crib.
Anne Marie was a NICU nurse and her experience informed the medical advice. She wore a puritanical black dress with an oversized lace-trimmed collar. She giggled and deferred to Gary, and I struggled to imagine how she handled herself in a neonatal nursery. I recognized her Fascinating Womanhood hallmarks with mixed feelings. How could I take a woman who coos seriously?
The Ezzos started with sin. Infants are born with a sinful nature, one of the base elements of the depravity of man. While newborns donât make cognitive decisions about moral rights and wrongs, theyâre biologically affected by sin at birth. Left to their own with weak mothers, theyâll break the marriage and ruin the family.
I read the chapters carefully. As a nanny, I wasnât worried about newborn care. But I feared sleepless nights. A tired Allan was an unhappy Allan. I needed to fix that before it happened.
The Ezzos said our happiness came down to how I fed the baby. The secular world encouraged feeding a baby âon demandâ with attachment parenting.
âMothers are told to endlessly carry their babies, sleep with them, breastfeed them day and night without any regard to routine. They exalt the child as the center of the family universe.â The Ezzos said husbands had to watch out for this evil.
Parent-directed feeding was his solution. Feed the baby when they wake up, interact a little, and then lay it down for a nap. This predictable pattern was neither a schedule nor chaos, and it stabilized the hunger/sleep cycles for proper infant managementâessential for keeping the peace.
I studied and highlighted the pages. If I got it wrong this time, I wouldnât be the only one who paid for it now.
excerpt 2:
Gary Ezzo was fired from Grace Community Church and he and Anne Marie were dropped by their publisher after babies parented with their program suffered malnutrition and failure to thrive.
#tia levings#quotes#gary ezzo#child abuse#child neglect#abuse#abusive relationship#misogyny#patriarchy#exvangelical#fundamentalism#fundamentalist christianity#ex fundamentalist#ex fundie#christianity tw#image described#macâs bookshelf#âian patriarchy
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List of healthcare workers killed by Israel attacks on Gaza since October 7, 2023
Physicians:
Dr. Omar Ferwana, a Professor and former Dean of the Islamic University of Gaza Medical School and an andrologist, Gaza
Dr. Aya Ferwana (Dr Omar Ferwanaâs daughter), a family medicine specialist, Gaza
Dr. Medhat Saidam, a senior burn and plastic surgeon, Shifa Hospital, Gaza and MSc in Burn Care alumnus from Queen Mary University of London
Dr. Mohammed Dabour, a consultant pathologist and dean of pre-clinical medicine at the Islamic University of Gaza Medical School
Dr. Tamer Al-Khayyat, an anesthesiologist and intensivist, European Gaza Hosptial, Rafah
Dr. Mahmoud Al-Khayyat, an internist in Rafah and Dr Tamer Al-Khayyatâs father
Dr. Razan Al-Rakhawi (Dr Tamer Al-Khayyatâs wife), an obstetric and gynecologist, Emirati Womenâs Hospital, Rafah
Dr. Sereen Al-Attar a consultant obstetric and gynecologist at Nasser Hospital, Khan Younis and an Assistant Professor at the Islamic University of Gaza Medical school
Dr. Saeed Drabieh, a urology resident, Shifa Hospital
Dr. Mohammed Al-Samarai, Iraqi volunteer intern physician
Dr. Rafat Abou Foul, radiologist, Beit Hanoun Hospital
Dr. Amal Al-Maqadma, family medicine specialist, Rafah
Dr. Ibtihal Al-Astal, intern doctor, Khan Younis
Dr. Duaa Awad, emergency medicine doctor, Al-Aqsa Hospital
Dr. Moath Nabaheen, emergency medicine doctor, Al-Aqsa Hospital
Dr. Youssef Jadallah, intensivist and anesthesiologist (based in Germany, from Gaza but was visiting his family)
Dr. Inas Yousef, emergency medicine doctor, Al-Aqsa Hospital
Dr. Israa Al-Ashqar, anesthesiology resident, Shifa Hospital, Gaza
Dr. Abdallah Ashour, emergency medicine doctor, Nasser Hospital, Khan Younis
Dr. Hamam El-Deeb, orthopaedic surgery resident, Shifa Hospital, Gaza
Dr. Munther Abu Sariya, consultant pediatrician, Mohammed Al-Durra Pediatric Hospital
Dr. Doaa Shammout, pediatric resident, Rantisi Hospital, Gaza
Dr. Baraa Abu Elaish, intern doctor, Gaza
Dr. Abdlallah El-Helou, general practitioner/internal medicine doctor, Indonesian/Beit Hanoun Hospital
Dr. Muhannad Ezzo Afana, general practitioner, Gaza
Dr. Mohammed Refaat Mekki,
Â
Dentists:
Dr. Ahmed Al-Hourani
Dr. Nada Mahdi
Dr. Ibrahim Al-Dali
Dr. Bilal Lubbad
Dr. Marwa Swelim
Dr Areej Eid
Dr. Tawfiq Al-Farra
Dr. Abdallah Baghdadi
Dr. Jameel Tarazi
Dr. Maysoon Al-Nuweiri
Dr. Mona Dughmush
Dr. Noha Dughmush
Dr. Mamoun Afana
Dr. Mohammed Afana
Dr. Anis Mekki
Dr. Tasneem Abdulnabi
Â
Medical/dental students:
Bisan Halasa
Shaimaa Saydam
Abedelrahman Abu Shammala
Nour Al-Ashqar
Yaseen Al-Akhras
Osama Abu Safia
Duha Dughmush
Haneen Al-Shannat
Abdallah Abu Jayab
Zainab Azzam
Mohammed Abu Jiadan
Â
Medical Scientists:
Prof. Salah El-Din Zanoun
Prof. Ahmed Al-Dalo
Prof. Ameed Mushtaha (Head of laboratories department and blood banks
Nurses:
Mohammed Lubbad Â
Mohammed Al-Azzaiza Â
Ahmed Moshtaha Â
Rami Lubbad Â
Somaya Temraz Â
Mohammed Rafat Gomaa Â
Osama A'eed Abu Safiya Â
Saber Al-Nimnim Â
Mohammed Hamad Â
Mohammed Al-Baz Â
Suleiman Abu Zour Â
Badr Mohammed Abu Daqah Â
Shaimaa Rayan (Midwife)
Maryam Abou Daher
Kefah Sanâallah
Walaa Adwan (Midwife)
Rawaa Al-Thalathini (Midwife)
Samah Rasheed (Midwife)
Rida Al-Masri (Midwife)
Ibrahim Abou Isaac
Amjad Abou Ouda
Ibrahim Al-Farra
Aya Al-Shrafi
Tamer Al Efesh
Momen Mansour
Asmaa Al-Asar
Feras Ftaiha
Diaa Bardaweel
Rana Shalaby
Itemad Miqdad
Zainab Al-Sharafi
Hamdan Malaka
Suheer Jbara
Hassan Al-Hennawi
Sabha Al-Sherafi
Azmi Al-Jamal
Yousef Al-Shareef
Hadeel Fanqa
Emad Esleem
Enas Al-Zeen
Heba Salamah
Nuha Esleem
Amro Masoud
Hanya Qudaih
Mohammed Al-Moqayyed
Ali Nasrallah
Tariq Abu Obaid (cardiac perfusion specialist)
Ahmed Al-Nuweiri
Abdulrahman Shaheen (Ziada)Â
Ahmed Mahmoud Alrann
Dr. Yahya Abduljawad Juda (Public Health, nurse)Â
Haytham Tawfiq AlnabihÂ
Loai Alzuhairi (Nursing student)Â
Saleem Abu Zour
Waleed ElMahalawi
Rola Althalathini (Midwife)
Duaa Ashour
Amer Elramlawi
Safa Zeino
Saja Doghmosh
Moayad Ezzo Afana
Ramadan Doghmosh
Moemen Arab (Nursing student)
Oun Nofal Ashour (Nursing student)
Â
Paramedics (EMS providers):
Marwan Abou Raida
Hatem Awad
Khalil Al-Sharif
Ahmed Al-Dahman
Yousri Al-Masri
Ahmed Abdel Rahman
Mohammed Al-Ghaliz
Mohammed Ali
Iyad Salim
Abdelrahim Abou Baid
Alaa Abou Ghanima
Naji Al Fayoumi
Mohammed Qateet
Tareq Ashour
Mahmoud Abou Mashayekh
Nafeth Al-Natour
Mahmoud Othman
Mohammed ElOmour
Ibrahim Matar
Yasser Alnaseri
Â
Physiotherapists:
Ahmed Al-Masri
Ahmed Sameh Abou Herbeed
Shaimaa Sbaih
Mayar Al-Wahidi
Ahmed Ashraf
Shahrazad Al-Akhras
Nour Ibrahim
Â
Pharmacists:
Ahmed Al-Jerjawi
Aziz Elfarra
Afnan Al-Astal
Shereen Abou Jazar
Eman Abu Al-Jalil
Safaa Hasouna
Ibraheem Meqdad
Mohammed Ali
Maysaa Khader
Nisreen Al-Dammagh
Sally Al-Aydi (Pharmacy student at AlAzhar University)
Mohammed Al-Shannat
Lina Abu Mualaileq
Noor Ibean
Haneen Albasyouni
Amira Dahman
Rawand Albanna
Khaled Abu Maâala
Amal Mekki
Abdullah Altartori (Pharmacy student at AlAzhar University)
Asmaa Abu Salah (Pharmacy student at AlAzhar University)
Mohammad Alshami
Â
Lab technicians/clinical microbiologists:
Natheer Shaban
Asmaa Hijazi
Rawan Yassin
Alia Al Hinnawi
Maryam Kabaja
Nahid Abdullatef
Mohammed Abu Karsh
Mohammed Shabaan
Riham Elkahlout
Ismail Sharaf
Taiseer Alghouti
Abdulmohsin Abu Alrous
Duaa Jad Allah Â
Optometrists:
Omar Khorsheed
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The Dragon's Daughter - 25
(Warnings: Fluff, angst, angst, angst with a fluffy ending!)
Dothraki will be in bold
High Valyrian will be in cursive
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Rhaella couldnât help but smile at all the people gathered in front of her and around her, the warm smell of freshly baked bread flooding the streets of Kingâs Landing, overshadowing the smell of shit and piss. She had insisted on attending the competition herself, the ingredients having been given out, the prizes ready and she watched as the tasters tasted slices of each loaf of bread, a man with a quill and parchment taking down each of their votes. The entire contest seemed to have Kingâs Landing buzzing with excitement, many showing up to show their support for their family and friends and for the bakers from their streets, it impressed her, the community that something like this could bring together. Sheâd always been told that Kingâs Landing was a dangerous city, full of cutthroats, thieves, schemers, liars and cheats, that the people outside the Red Keep were desperate and ruthless, but as she watched everyone talking and chatting, it seemed like those rumours were unfounded. âYouâve done a great thing, Your Graceâ Tyrion spoke and Rhaella smiled a little from where she stood, nodding to herself âthank you⌠they all seem so⌠happy.â
âBeing fed and paid tends to have that effect on peopleâ Tyrion stated half-jokingly and Rhaella nearly rolled her eyes, yet there was a smile on her face still âso long as they continue to be happy, Iâll consider this the perfect name-dayâ she admitted with a smile, looking down at Tyrion who smiled a little at her âand, if I may, how did your âwalkâ with Ser Jeor go last tenday? It was the second oneâ Tyrion noted and Rhaellaâs cheeks turned a little pink, yet she kept a stoic look on her face âwe both agreed on how utterly boring the gardens wereâ she admitted casually, Tyrion trying to hide his smirk as he nodded âI see���â he trailed off and Rhaella sighed heavily âhe-... doesnât make me feel⌠like running awayâ she admitted stiffly and in a very quiet voice, almost a whisper, Tyrion frowning at his Queen and she sighed heavily again, knowing that she now had to explain what she meant. âI-... people make me feel-... overcrowdedâ she admitted hesitantly âI feel suffocated⌠very few people make me feel-.... Not suffocatedâŚâ she muttered, almost shyly, fiddling a little with her fingers in front of her, a small frown forming on her thick silver brows âSer Jeor makes me feel understood⌠that is allâ she stated firmly as she looked up again, her frown gone as she forced a royal facade to cover her face and Tyrion studied her before nodding âthat is good, Your Grace⌠Iâm happy for you, perhaps then it wouldnât be too brash to-â
âDonât push it, My Lordâ she warned quietly and Tyrion nodded. He could take this matter up with her at another time, but it seemed as though he didnât need to worry about the Queenâs marital status for long, if things continued the way they did. Perhaps it had always been better to leave it to her and not force such a decision on her⌠She was a dragon, after all, and you cannot force a dragon⌠But she was also a kind dragon, it seemed, the cheerful people filling the streets for almost miles was proof of this and he had to admit, it seemed that her plan for raising the spirits of the people in Kingâs Landing had worked wonderfully, and it would do wonders for her reputation, even though he knew she didnât care all that much for it. This was a good start to her reign, a good impression on the small folk and nobles alike. This was good. A good day, a good contest, a good mood in the air⌠until there was an explosion down in the lower parts of the city, people screaming and running in shock and fear, Brienne and Ezzo quickly grabbing Rhaella to lead her away, the entire Queensgarde surrounding her and Lord Tyrion, the Unsullied rounding around her as they led her towards the Red Keep, through the panic. âDonât hurt them! Theyâre just scaredâ Rhaella ordered when one of the Unsullied pushed a man out of the way, the soldiers obeying her command afterwards, leading people away from the Queen gently instead of pushing. They were almost at the gates when Rhaella heard a child cry out and a woman screaming. She peeked through her garde, seeing a young girl up on a small statue, hiding above the crazed crowd while a woman fought against the current of people, trying to reach the child. Rhaella quickly moved through her garde, slipping through the soldiers and running towards the child, grabbing him and yanking him to safety behind her Queensgarde. âGet the mother! Try not to harm anyoneâ she ordered, Ser Jeyla and Ser Udda being the first ones to brave through the sea of people, grabbing the woman, the two Queensgarde women returning with the mother, thrusting her into the protective barrier around the Queen, her hand and now the child she had tried to reach, the child embracing his mother immediately. âGet us to safety!â Rhaella ordered, making sure the mother and child kept up with the garde she had, letting them reach the gate, the Queensgarde, Unsullied and Ezzo staying with the Queen âSer Clegane, find out what that explosion was!â Rhaella ordered above the chaos before turning to the mother and her child âare you both alright?â she asked, looking the child over before looking the mother over, finding her foot almost crushed from being trampled on and Rhaella sighed, turning to Ezzo âfind Grand Maester Ricardo and Maester Samwell, this woman needs healingâ she ordered, Ezzo being hesitant and Rhaella sighed âgo, Iâm safe, I promiseâ she stated and he sighed but obeyed and ran off, Rhaella looking back at the shocked mother and traumatised kid. âItâs okay, youâre safe now-â
âThank you, Your Grace! Please, forgive me, Your Grace, I-â
âShh, itâs alright, youâre safe hereâ Rhaella soothed, Daenerys and Jon rushing out of the Keep and into the courtyard, hurrying over to Rhaella, stopping before they could each hug her, knowing that it wasnât proper, not right now, at least. âWhat happened?â
âThere was an explosion further down in the city, Iâve sent Sandor and his Watch out to find out what it wasâŚâ Rhaella admitted before turning back to the mother and her child, who was shaking. Rhaella sighed and unclipped the light cloak she had on over her shoulders, uncaring about the scales they revealed as she placed the coat around the little boy âthere, better?â she asked softly, the boy looking up at his mother hesitantly and Rhaella realised something. She scared him⌠she scared both of them⌠The realisation was like a dagger through her heart, her smile fading for a second but she forced it back onto her lips as she looked at the mother âI have sent for the Grand Maester to look at your foot, itâll need proper treatingâ she stated softly, the woman bowing her head âthank you, Your Grace, thank you-â
âNo needâ Rhaella interrupted with a strained but polite smile before turning to Ser Brienne, just as Ezzo arrived with Ricardo and Samwell. âPerfect timing. Please, take care of this woman and her childâ she ordered before turning back to the mother and child âforgive me, I must leave but please, whatever you need, all you need to do is askâ she stated softly before turning around as the mother curtseyed as best as she could and bowed her head, uttering her thanks endlessly as Ricardo approached the woman with a kind smile, getting ready to take care of her while Samwell watched with worry as the Queen walked back into the keep with the rest of her guard and Ezzo, her head held high but he saw the tears in her eyes when she walked past him.
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It had been a while since anyone had seen the Queen, Ezzo had been guarding outside her room with Brienne, instead of inside her room as he usually did. There hadnât been a request for food even though it was hours past supper, there hadnât been anyone coming in or out of the room, only Falia had been permitted to enter, it caused concern for many in the Keep, which is why Tyrion was on his way towards the Queenâs chambers, approaching Brienne and Ezzo outside the door. âIâm here to see Her Graceâ he announced, ready to reach for the door when Brienne stopped him, looking straight ahead yet it was obvious that she was reluctant to say what she was about to say.
âHer Grace wishes to be left alone, sheâs in prayersâ Brienne informed stiffly and Tyrion frowned. Rhaella? Praying?? At the very least she didnât care about any Gods, more likely that she didnât believe in them. Not once had she prayed, visited the Godswood to do so or any septon. He had never heard of her praying or believing in any Gods. âPraying?â Tyrion asked with confusion and Brienne hesitated before sighing lightly âyes, My Lord⌠praying. She has asked to be left alone until she is done with her prayers, only her handmaiden have been permitted inside with her for her prayersâ Brienne reported, once again stiff and hesitant, knowing full well that the Queen didnât pray, so what else could she be doing in there?
âI see⌠prayingâŚâ Tyrion trailed off, his brain wringing itself for a solution. âHas Lady Daenerys perhaps been to see her?â
âThe Queen has forbidden any visitors while she⌠praysâŚâ Brienne admitted with a blank face âthat includes the Lady Daenerys and Lord Starkâ Brienne added hesitantly, Tyrion sighing âis there anyone the Queen has not forbidden to enter while she⌠praysâŚ?â
âI donât know, My LordâŚâ
âWell, who has she forbidden, exactly?â Tyrion asked, Brienne sighing heavily âthe Maesters, handmaidens, workers, her mother and father, her guards, the entire Queensgarde, her hand- if I knew of anyone she would permit to enter, My Lord, I would fetch them myselfâ Brienne stated with annoyance, Tyrion glancing at Ezzo who just shook his head a little, telling him that she was not even allowing Ezzo inside. âI see⌠so no one in the Red Keep is allowed inside?â he asked slowly, Brienne sighing heavily âthat is what I said, isnât it?â she asked sharply, Tyrion nodding as he left, an idea brimming in his head. Ezzo suddenly caught up with him, grasping his shoulder, Tyrion looking up at him with a small frown. âKid. Scared. Her. Back. Eyesâ he managed to get out in a broken accent, the words barely understandable but Tyrion caught onto what he meant, nodding as he backed up âthank you, Ser Ezzoâ he stated and left, Ezzo walking back to stand guard outside the chambers once more.
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When there was a soft knock on the door, at first Falia ignored it with Rhaella, continuing to sit with her Queen, but when there was a second knock, it was obvious that it began to irk the Queen. âFalia, if youâd be so kind as to remind whoever at the door that I am busyâ Rhaella asked quietly and Falia got up, walking to the doors and opening one of the big double doors to tell them, very politely, to fuck off. There were hushed whispers and finally Falia sighed âYour Grace⌠you have a visitorâ she called out and Rhaella tensed up but sighed âI would appreciate my prayers being undisturbedâ she called out, hoping to make the person go away but they didnât, Falia sighing heavily. âWait hereâ she whispered before hurrying over to her Queen, leaning down and whispering who it was at the door, Rhaella straightening up with a frown, quickly wiping her teary eyes, Falia hurrying back to the door. âThe Queen will soon be done with her prayers. Wait hereâ she ordered softly before closing the door, hurrying over to her Queen, helping her make her eyes look less red and puffy from the crying, doing her best to make her Queen presentable and when she nodded, Falia walked back to the door and opened it. âThe Queen has finished her prayersâ she announced softly and stepped aside, letting the man in and closing the door after him, staying in the room as Rhaella stayed on the balcony, her back to the doors, her long hair covering her back and most of her scales, except for the few ones that had begun to spread over her shoulders from her back.
âYour Graceâ his voice felt oddly comforting⌠yet she didnât turn to look at him, only sighing heavily âwhat was so important that it could not wait until I finished my prayers, Ser Jeor?â she asked stiffly, Jeor approaching hesitantly, looking at Falia who gave a hesitant nod. She knew her Queen best, knew who she was, what she liked, how she reacted, she knew best if the Queen would appreciate his approach towards her, or if sheâd rather he stayed back. âI was worried for your safety, Your Grace. I heard of the explosion during the contest, I was worried that you mightâve been harmed in some way.â
âNo⌠no, the explosion was further down from the old Sept of Baelor⌠I wish I could say the same for the people who were too close to the explosion, thoughâŚâ
âDo you know what happened yet?â
âNo⌠I sent the City Watch to investigate, I have no doubt that theyâll give it their full attentionâŚâ
âGood⌠are you alright, though?â
âYes, I said I am. The explosion was far away-â
âThatâs not what I meant, Your Graceâ Jeor stated softly walking out onto the balcony, standing a little behind her, hands clasped behind his back as he studied her closely. âIf you wouldnât mind, Your Grace⌠could you perhaps look at me?â
âWhy?â
âI wish to see your faceâ he answered honestly and Rhaella hesitated before turning to face him, avoiding his gaze and he smiled a little âso, Iâll ask again; Are you alright, Your Grace?â he asked more softly and she looked up at him, looking past him at Falia who kept her gaze ahead and not on them, her eyes returning to Jeor in front of her and she swallowed the lump in her throat. âI scared a child and itâs motherâŚâ she admitted hesitantly, trying to hold herself from breaking down. Again. âA child was stuck in the stampede of people running from the explosion. I managed to get him to safety, two of my Queensgarde then got the mother to safety as well⌠the poor boy⌠he was so afraid that he was shaking⌠I offered him my cloak when I realised that it was me that he was afraid of⌠and his mother, she was afraid tooâŚâ Rhaella continued, looking away when she felt tears in her eyes, fighting to hold them back âI frightened themâ she muttered, almost holding her breath to keep it in and Jeor frowned with sadness, he could see how deeply it had affected her, how deeply that wound wentâŚ
âYour Grace-â
âIs that what my brother will see when he is old enough to truly look at me? A monster? Is that what any future children I have will see? Is that truly what the Realm sees me as? A Targaryen monster, a monster on the Iron Throne?...â she asked with a strained voice, her jaw clenched as she tried to keep her composure. âMy mother always told me that my scales are beautiful, but it seems that she was wrong⌠perhaps I should have been burnt with my fatherâŚâ she muttered weakly, Jeor stepping closer with a frown âYour GraceâŚ? What do you mean âburntâ?â Jeor asked hesitantly and Rhaella scoffed, a few tears finally running down her cheeks, spilling over from her eyes and she stormed past him, stopping at the first candle as she held her hand out over the flame, unflinching and without any pain, Jeorâs eyes widening a little in shock as he approached. âA witch tried to burn me when I was a babe⌠pulled me from my mother and cast me into a fire after she murdered my brotherâ Rhaellaâs voice was eerily calm as Jeor walked closer, his eyes locked onto her hand over the flame, the flame kissing and bending around the flesh of her palm, yet it didnât catch onto it, there were no blisters, no searing flesh, no smell of burnt flesh⌠Jeor hesitantly reached for her wrist, gently taking it and Rhaella flinched at this, her eyes locked onto his face as he gently removed her hand from the fire and gently cupped her hand, turning it over to examine her palm and she felt her heart race as his calloused hands touched her hand, feeling the warmth from her palm that the fire had left behind, and the warmth in her blood. âYouâre not a monster, Your Graceâ he finally said calmly, looking up at her, a comforting look in his eyes âyouâre no monster, nor a mistake⌠the people of Kingâs Landing have become so used to the cruel hand of Cersei, of her son before her, Joffrey, of the Mad King before all of them⌠but youâre none of them. Iâm sad to say that the name âTargaryenâ has quite the dark mark following it, but you and your mother⌠youâre both washing out that stain on your name. Youâre no monster. Joffrey Baratheon was a monster, Cersei Lannister was a monster-â
âThe Mad King?â Rhaella asked suddenly, her eyes locked with Jeorâs as he sighed âIâm afraid itâs a little before my time, Your Graceâ he stated half-jokingly, managing to pull a smile from the Queen, briefly, making himself smirk âbut how bad could he truly have been, if he could have a daughter as good as your mother, and a granddaughter as fair as you?â
âAre you trying to-... woo me, Ser?â
âI would never offend you so, Your Graceâ Jeor stated with amusement, chuckling briefly before kissing the back of her hand âitâs good to see you in good health, Your Graceâ he stated softly, bowing his head âand thank you, for allowing me to interrupt your prayers. Iâll allow you to return to them, now that I know youâre alright-â
âHave supper with meâ she blurted out before he could leave, her cheeks turning red and she swallowed thickly, her heart racing in her chest and Falia smirked a little, still keeping her gaze straight ahead. âPardon?â
âIf-... you have no other engagements, I invite you to have supper. With me. Tonightâ she blurted out and Jeor smiled softly, bowing his head âitâd be an honour, Your Graceâ he stated, bowing again before leaving and the second the doors were closed, Rhaella turned to Falia, her cheeks still burning bright and she rolled her eyes at her handmaiden ânot one word!â
âOf course, Your Grace⌠shall I inform the kitchens and the Lord Hand?â
âYes⌠pleaseâŚâ she muttered and Falia nodded and curtseyed before leaving, a large smile plastered on her face as she left the room and Rhaella felt butterflies flutter in her stomach.
#got#game of thrones#got fic#daenerys targaryen#Rhaella Targaryen#Daenerys Stormborn#Mother!Daenerys#Daenerys x OC#The Dragon's Daughter#Daenerys x Rhaella#Game of Thrones fanfic
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i kinda like the idea of the Daniels family having their gear and weapons be tech related
With Latte having a mechanical earth shaking hammer, Ezzo using a large curved sword that can easily coat itself in potions and Mocha having once used a Jetspear at one point in her life
works as a contrast with the Tea family and their tree hugging druid magics =o=
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On 26 October, the Palestinian Ministry of Health released the list of names of Palestinians killed since 7 October. Among them, from the Awad family, are:
Mahmoud Abdul Fattah Mohammed (65);
Magdy Zakaria Youssef (65), a disabled man who was martyred when occupation forces stormed Tulkarm, in the West Bank;
Nadia Ezzo Mohammed (61);Â
Hamid Suleiman Younis (59);Â
Abdul Nasser Mohammed Abdul Rahman (58), a teacher in UNRWA schools described as a "man of noble character, loved by everyone" who realized his dream of praying in al-Aqsa mosque last July; and his children Dua Abdul Nasser Mohammed (28), a psychiatrist who had passed her exams only a month prior to being martyred; Ahmed Abdul Nasser Mohammed (21); and Israa Abdul Nasser Mohammed (19);Â
Jihad Mohammed Abdul Rahman (55) and his wife, Khalidiya Rajab Ali (53), both described as âaffectionateâ, as well as their children Obaida Jihad Mohammed (28), an engineer; Nour al-Huda Jihad Mohammed (27), described as âkind and caringâ; Mohammed Jihad Mohammed (25), who had just gotten married in the second week of October; and Jana Jihad Mohammed (12);
Yusuf Rushdi Yusuf (50);Â
Hatim Sobhi Hassan (48), a paramedic with the Palestinian Red Crescent Society;Â
Ahmed Youssef Abdel-Jabbar (46);Â
Samah Mahmoud Khaled (42) and her son Muaz Ahmed Rajab (18); Â
Rahma Abdul Rahim Mohammed (34) and her brother Mahmoud Abdul Rahim Mohammed (26);Â
Abdul Rahim Ahmed Abdul Rahim (less than a year old);Â
Mohammed Atef Mohammed (32);Â
Noha Maher Abdul Rahman (31);Â
Jawdat Ahmed Abdul (27), a scout leader with the Palestinian Scouts Association;
Muhammad Ramiz Jamil (27), a civil engineer and assistant lecturer at the Engineering College at the Islamic University, and his son Ramiz Muhammad Ramiz (1);
Ahmed Nafez Mohammed (21);
Khalid Nayef Mohammed (19);
Dima Jihad Ahmed (17);Â
Mohammed Sobhi Mohammed (15);
and Siham Abdul Rahman Abdul Nasser (8) and her sister Eileen Abdul Rahman Abdul Nasser (7).
You can read more about the human lives lost in Palestine on the Martyrs of Gaza Twitter account and here.
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Character Info
Name: Vincenzo Rovero [alternatively, Vincenzo Roverosso as royalty and Ezzo Rovero as a commoner] Age: 43 [Frozen], 44 [Frozen Fever], 45 [Frozen II] Birthday: December 6th Home Country: Sicilia [similar to real-world Sicily] Race (Ethnicity): Caucasian (Sicilian) Physicality: Height: 6Ⲡ/ 72 in. / 183 cm Body type: muscular [except for a slightly pudgy stomach] Body shape: rectangular Complexion: Mediterranean olive Hair color: "salt and pepper" dark brown with silver-gray Hair type: thick, medium-coarse, curly Eye color: dark brown Family: Mirella (wife), Leone (son), Natalia (daughter) Religion: Protestant Christian with Roman Catholic upbringing Personality: Introverted but talks easily (listens before speaking), easy-going, friendly with everyone, caring, thoughtful Style: simple, practical, no accessories Occupations: running the family's small shipping business and sailing the family's vessel, serving as the tie-breaking vote for Sicilia's parliament in rare instances Hobbies: playing guitar, sailing, sports, helping his friends Distinctions: king of Sicilia [or former king, depending on universe], only child
Artwork credit: @urban-hart
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On Becoming Babywise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep - Interactive Support - Gary Ezzo
EPUB & PDF Ebook On Becoming Babywise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep - Interactive Support | EBOOK ONLINE DOWNLOAD
by Gary Ezzo.
Download Link : DOWNLOAD On Becoming Babywise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep - Interactive Support
Read More : READ On Becoming Babywise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep - Interactive Support
Ebook PDF On Becoming Babywise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep - Interactive Support | EBOOK ONLINE DOWNLOAD Hello Book lovers, If you want to download free Ebook, you are in the right place to download Ebook. Ebook On Becoming Babywise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep - Interactive Support EBOOK ONLINE DOWNLOAD in English is available for free here, Click on the download LINK below to download Ebook On Becoming Babywise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep - Interactive Support 2020 PDF Download in English by Gary Ezzo (Author).
 Description Book:Â
Distinguished pediatrician Dr Robert Bucknam, M.D. and co-author Gary Ezzo are two of the world's leading experts on infant management concepts. In this revised 6th edition, they have updated their groundbreaking approach which has found favor with over six million parents in all 50 states and has been translated into 20 languages around the world. For over 25 years, On Becoming Babywise has been the de facto newborn parenting manual for naturally synchronizing your baby's feeding time, waketime and nighttime sleep cycles, so the whole family can sleep through the night.In his 29th year as a licensed Pediatrician, Dr. Robert Bucknam, M.D. along with co-author Gary Ezzo, demonstrate how order and stability are mutual allies of every newborn's metabolism and how parents can take advantage of these biological propensities.Now millions of new moms are invited to ask their questions and interact Live online with this new Interactive Support Edition.
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Best Horror Audiobooks That Will Send Chills into Your Spine
People love listening to horror audiobooks. They arouse negative stimuli, which improves their mood significantly. They also enhance your brain activity, making you more alert and attentive. Here are some of the best horror audiobooks that will help you be confident and face the fear.
Ellie Marney's None Shall Sleep
Originally published in September 2020, this audiobook is narrated by Christine Lakin, Jake Abel, Zach Villa, and Maxwell Hamilton. Set in the year 1982, the story follows the FBI investigators they are focusing on rampant cold cases of murder that involved juveniles. A serial killer survivor and a US Marshall join hands to unravel the mystery behind it. Emma Lewis, the survivor, gets closer to agent Travis Bell when more info gets in.
Tananarive Dueâs My Soul to Keep
Jessica doesnât know that her hubby David is immortal from an Ethiopian sect dating back 400 years ago. He is everything she has: A very loving husband who has a beautiful family and a home they built together. Hell breaks loose when she finds out that he is planning on sacrificing her with the daughter too. The narrator of this audiobook is Peter Francis James.
Claire Legrand's Saw-kill Girls
This audiobook has managed to turn fear into power after the author crafted every character with incredible finesse, more like an ogre. Itâs enticing to listen to, with the chilly story narrated by Lauren Ezzo.
If you are a horror fanatic, sign up with www.vuify.com.
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Congratulations are in order for Vanna & Adamuccio Ezzo! They have just given birth to a son on August 6th, 1315 at 7:59 PM
The boy, named Neri, and his mother are resting comfortably in their home. Thanks be to the Watcher for good news in these trying times!
#i like to imagine these posts like a town crier tbh#Running around like âBABIES! BABIES EVERYWHERE!â#ts4#sims 4#the sims 4#sims 4 ultimate decades challenge#ultimate decades challenge#udc#morbid's ultimate decades challenge#tartosa#1315#1315 tartosa#the great famine#ezzo family
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Obedience / To Train Up a Child
Obedience, Emotional Control, To Train Up a Child, Gary Ezzo, Michael Pearl, and Shiny Happy People.
So many content warnings here. To Train Up a Child, child abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, IBLP, and spiritual abuse. 1 I have some thoughts after finishing âShiny Happy Peopleâ and âCounting the Cost.â The first is that the âshocking cultâ of IBLP seems eerily similar to my own childhood. Sure, we didnât have a strict dress code like the Duggars or other IBLP families. But much of theâŚ
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#Abuse#Child Abuse#Ezzo#family#First time#Gary Ezzo#GKGW#Growing Kids God&039;s Way#Michael Pearl#Obedience#obedience to authority#obey#Patch the Pirate#Pearl#Religion#Right Away#To Train Up a Child
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ID: a reply by @peachpulpeuse to this post which reads: is this the pearls? fucking evil end ID
really good guess but this is kevin lemanâs work which is significantly more marketed towards a mainstream (or mainstream-adjacent) audience & therefore substantially less blatant in its abuse (eg, âif spanking is in alignment with your familyâs values, hereâs when you should do itâ)
to put him in context the pearlsâ To Train Up a Child was 1994 & this book (Have a New Kid by Friday) was first published in 2008, although his previous parenting book, which according to the 2017 version has sold over a million copies, has been around since the 80s & first got popular in 2000 (from what i can tell â frustratingly his wikipedia page has been deleted & people in this sphere love to emphasize their familial relationships & be super vague about the business details, so iâm piecing a lot of this together very loosely)
he has a doctorate in psychology & a lot of experience in teaching & administration at âsecularâ universities, which is a great example of my very favorite hill to die on, that âsecularâ certification does not mean a christian counselor isnât selling the same shit as their unlicensed neighbor & has the potential to be more dangerous because of the authority it lends them. (ex: heâs very proud of the fact that heâs never given an adhd diagnosis.)
from my again limited perspective i would definitely consider this book in the lineage of Gary & Anne Marie Ezzoâs work (first published in the early 90s) but way subtler on the complementarianism angle, imo in ways that are often more dangerous to âsecularâ or less-fundamentalist readers because itâs harder to identify â
he has several positive examples of / letters from single moms & even one from a stay-at-home dad, & the book has this veneer of gender neutrality as it addresses âparents,â but subsequent phrases (you deserve to be able to âtalk on the phone with your girlfriendsâ uninterrupted) belie that illusion,
and there are repeated little digs at moms for supposedly having a harder time summoning & maintaining the willpower needed to not let the child run the home, with the most emphasis being against moms who want to sleep with their (non-infant) child at night or nap time (the part that made me go oh my god the fucking parent-directed feeding)
& now iâm gonna put the rest of my musing in a new post bc this is already long as shit lol
#peachpulpeuse#kevin leman#christian parenting#mac.txt#have an abused kid by friday#abuse#child abuse
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Prince Charming and a different kind of Cinderella
Fandom: Rurouni Kenshin
Pairings: Kenshin/Kaoru
Characters: Kaoru Kamiya, Kenshin Himura, Megumi Takani, Yumi Komagata, Hiko Seijuurou, Koshijirou Kamiya, Sanosuke Sagara, Tae Sekihara, Soujiro Seta.Â
Word count: 34 824
Summary: The Crown Prince of the Kingdom is looking for a bride to be, a woman who could keep a secret. Why? Because in this retelling of the Cinderella, our Prince not a man, but a woman who has been crossdressing her whole life in order to provide stability for the Kamiya's rule.Â
When the castle announces a grand ball, everyone is drawn to the event of the century â even our Cinderella, a trans woman working as a maid for a noble family fallen to disfavor.
The familiar story unfurls with odd twists and turns as Kenshin's and Kaoru's paths cross and an undeniable spark between them is set alight.
Read the story in AO3, FF.net or below the cut!
AN: This is a very self-indulgent take on the fairy tale Cinderella. The whole story got its inspiration from one Tumblr post that was circulating a few years back, asking a question - what if Cinderella was a trans woman? In addition to that question, I got curious about what would happen if Prince Charming was not a man, but a cross-dressing woman? What if these two women fell in love? As such, my story focuses deeply on women's narrative. I have tried to create compelling female characters that have agency, no matter if they are heroines, supportive characters or villains.
I hope you enjoy this story as much as I do.
Notes/Warnings: Transgender main character, transwoman, bisexual main character, F/F pairing, cross-dressing, transphobic character (minor role, just a few nasty words), misunderstandings, pining, idiots in love
Please note: this story has not been beta-read, so be prepared for grammar issues and typos.
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Prince Charming and a different kind of Cinderella
The girl looked aside coyly. She hid her lips behind her fan, looking by all means nothing but an innocent, sweet ingĂŠnue. At her side, her mother smiled approvingly, like a master of orchestra conducting her symphony.
Kaoru raised her drink and hid her grimace behind her cupâs brim. She could just imagine what a disaster this girl would be in their plans. They needed someone who could keep a secret. Someone, whose loyalty she could attain and who couldnât be easily controlled by their parents, relatives or other power hungry parties preying on the court.
Was it too much to wish for beauty and brains in your romantic partner?
âWe have a lovely countryside estate. The grounds are extensive, perfect for riding and hunting trips.â The ingĂŠnueâs lady mother prattled on. âIâm sure the Prince and his friends would find it a good place to relax from the courtâs demands. What do you think? Would you be interested to visit?â
âYes, you must certainly come!â The girl enthused. âI could show you my garden!â
âIt would be surely a sight to see,â Kaoru allowed. She gave a subtle hand sign to her father, sitting on her right.
King Kamiya Koshijirou, the first of his name, the ruler of island kingdoms Yamato and Ezzo cleared his throat. âLady Inoue, Miss Inoue â your offer is very kind. Unfortunately, I cannot spare my son from his duties at the court for the time being. Maybe we could discuss this matter some other time? In the coming autumn, perhaps?â
âOh,â the ingĂŠnueâs mother gasped softly, a hint of dismay flashing in her severe eyes. Clearly, she recognized rejection, even as politely phrased as it was.
Kaoru fought back a smile. It would be beyond insulting to show her amusement in a situation like this, but at this point, she just didnât have much patience left for the potential in-laws meddling plans. After all, this was far from the first time she had met a potential bride to be. Or even among the first dozen of such meetings. Gods, the past year she must have met all of the daughters from suitable noble families in the country!
And yet, despite all this effort, none of them had felt right.
King Koshijirou and Lady Inoue exchanged polite pleasantries as they finished their tea. Kaoru managed her part, allowing some of her disinterest show to cauterize any hopes Miss Inoue might have entertained. Judging by the look in her doleful eyes, the girl wasnât particularly surprised. It was for the better, really, even if their farewells became quite lukewarm as a result.
Then it was over and the mother-daughter pair disappeared from the sight.
Kaoru flopped down to the patioâs padded divan, throwing her head back as she groaned in exasperation.
The footsteps echoed on the marble floor, the clothes rustling as a heavier weight sat down on the other end of the divan. âSurely she wasnât that bad.â King Koshijirou let out an amused rumble. âI found the girl quite sweet. Pretty, too.â
âYeah, pretty. I wager thatâs all sheâs ever been allowed to be,â Kaoru sighed. âI much prefer brains and capability for independent thought over looks. Besides, her mother was a controlling busybody.â
âTrue,â King Koshijirou huffed. âBut you shouldnât discount the daughter just based on her mother.â
âShouldnât I?â Kaoru raised her brow, âA girl like that, if she was allowed to find out sensitive secrets â just how long could she resist before spilling the beans to her mother? And how fast would that come to bite us?â
A shadow of regret swept over her fatherâs face and he looked at her seriously. âKaoru, I have done so much wrong by you. I have demanded so much from you and yet, even now, in matters like this, your first thought is for the good of the kingdom.â He paused to consider his words. âBut you know that I⌠I, ah wouldnât demand my daughter to make sacrifices like that.â
Kaoru looked aside.
âItâs not a sacrifice,â she said slowly. âFor the kingâs heir, the marriage is always a political affair. And even if⌠yes, even if I was known as your daughter, my marriage would be carefully orchestrated for the best possible effect.â
âNo,â King Koshijirou denied and reached for her hand. âKaoru, no â never think that! I have always wanted you to find someone you could love! The only reason I have allowed this farce to continue as long as it has is that you saidâ â
ââthat I find women just as attractive as men?â Kaoru cut through his words. âThat hasnât changed. Neither have any of the more pressing reasoning as to why your only child and heir should be a son. Or need I remind you of the threat Makimachi present to us even now? With just a hint of instability in the Kamiya line and they, their supporters or any of our long line of enemies could gain leverage they need for a coup.â
The reminder soured her fatherâs expression through hell and back.
In his youth, King Koshijirou had gone to war to combine kingdoms of Ezzo and Yamato, and though he had spent two decades trying his best to stabilize his reign and bring forth an era of peace and prosperity for them all, the ugly fact was that their Yamatoanâ rival family, Makimachi, had nearly as compelling right to the throne as them.
Even now, there were dozens of noble families who would leap at Makimachi banner, just for a chance of a coup, to better their own positions in the aftermath.
What brought even more uncertainness to Kamiyaâs reign was that King Koshijirou had only managed to sire one child before the death of his wife at assassinâs poison and he had never married another. Kaoru had never been told a reason, but she had long suspected the poison hadnât just struck her mother, but her father as well, only in a way that wasnât outright visibleâŚ
âŚat least, it would explain a whole lot.
As a result, King Koshijirouâs only child wasnât just his precious child, but his heir and the future of his kingdom. And so, for the sake of Kamiyaâs reign, Kaoru had grown up as the Prince instead of the Princess.
âDad,â Kaoru said softly. âI have never blamed you for anything.â
King Koshijirou looked up at her, sadness in his eyes. âYou should. For the sake of peace, I sacrificed your happiness.â
Kaoru shook her head mutely.
âItâs true that I donât get to wear pretty dresses⌠but I get fancy uniforms and tall boots instead. A much more practical choice,â she grinned a little, letting a hint of levity enter her tone. âBesides I have gotten to learn your swordsmanship style, ride, travel, go out and hang out with my friends⌠Oh, and letâs not forget that I can study whatever interests me! So no, I donât think you have done me much harm.â
âYes, thatâs something we really should fix, shouldnât we? The right for women to study,â King Koshijirou huffed, his fondness apparent. âOh, Kaoru â how I treasure you! You really bring me perspective on life.â
âI aim to please,â Kaoru smiled. âBut really, donât worry about my dating woes. Iâll find a suitable wife to be, someone who can keep my secret and help us to maintain this illusion.â
âIâve no doubt of that,â King Koshijirou said, but then sighed. âI just fear that youâll trade a loving marriage for that of a convenience. What if you canât find a woman who can look behind the appearances to the person underneath? Someone who could be interested in â ah, the same sex?â
âThen we will come up with an arrangement. A marriage of convenience, as you said.â Kaoru said resolutely. âMy wife can have a lover and a child, as long as everyone thinks the child is mine. And I⌠well, I can have dalliances on the side. Thatâs even common for men of my caste, isnât it?â
âIâd prefer for my bloodline continue, but if itâs not possible⌠yes, I could settle for your son in a name.â King Koshijirou smiled sadly and reached for her hand. âAlright, Iâll trust you. But for the sake of your fatherâs concern, would you mind a suggestion?â
âOf course not,â Kaoru replied, somewhat baffled. âI value your opinion greatly, as you know.â
âYou do â most of the time,â King Koshijirou nodded sagely. âHowever, I have noticed that you approach this marriage of yours like youâd arrange an alliance. You scout the most influential families for the most suitable daughters, and then approach them through their families.â
ââŚYes?â
âI merely note that you get what you order. Love is rarely so neatly arranged; often it shows up in the most unlikely situations â as does attraction.â King Koshijirou remarked. âA more informal event, as it were, might be better suited for your purposes than an interview with the family.â
âOh,â Kaoru paused, struck by the simplicity of the comment. âThat could be very true, butâŚâ
âAlso, I note that for the purpose of finding a woman who would be blessedly free of tangles in the political sense, it might be better to broaden your net. Even a wealthy merchantâs or a landownerâs daughter, or someone from an old, honorable family fallen to hard times could be perceived suitable with little work. If the affair were made out to seem romantic, it could even help to endear your choice to the people.â
âBut,â Kaoru paused, her eyes widening in disbelief. âI donât have many contacts among the lower castes and, and⌠how would I even approach them?!â
King Koshijirou laughed at her shock. âPerhaps a ball?â he suggested with a twinkle in his eye. âThe castleâs ballroom doesnât see much use these days. We could organize an event and invite all the eligible young women for an evening of music, dance and good food. We could even make it a spectacle; let it be known that Prince Kaoru is looking for a wife.â
Kaoru wrinkled her nose. âThatâs a bit⌠tacky.â
âA bit,â Her father shrugged. âBut it would be effective; even if nothing would come out of the night, youâd get to see who you are dealing with. Meet new faces, see who youâd be interested to contact afterward.â
âThatâs true,â Kaoru admitted with no small reluctance. She drummed her fingers on the chairâs armrest thoughtfully, then scoffed, âAwh heck, whatâs there to lose? Sure, letâs do it.â
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âItâs illogical. Father said you were like me: an orphan adopted to become an heir to a noble family. But instead of being grateful, you threw it all away⌠and for what? To be this? Even if youâd manage to lure some poor sod to marry you and they wouldnât beat you for deceiving them, you canât do half the things women ought to be able.â
Kenshin carefully twisted most of the soapy water away from the cleaning rag, letting the silence take over the grand hall of the manor, becoming more pressing by the moment.
Was young sir expecting an answer, then?
âThereâs more to the womenâs lives than pleasing their husbands and bearing children, that there is.â Kenshin murmured at long last, glancing up to the stairs, where Lord Soujiro was sitting. âWould you say your Lady motherâs political endeavors are meaningless? Or Miss Megumiâs studies and practice in medicine?â
Lord Soujiro smiled blandly, as he usually ended up doing whenever he didnât know the answer.
âYou know what I mean,â The young lord stated, his eyes were locked on Kenshin like he was studying a particularly strange creature. âYou had status, wealth, connections⌠and now, you have trouble finding paying work. If not for my Lord fatherâs interest in peculiar and my Lady motherâs compassion, you would be out on the street again, penniless. Why would wearing a dress merit all these difficulties?â
Kenshin tensed. âItâs a choice this one made, quite knowingly.â
âBut why?â Lord Soujiro insisted, merciless like a cat on a hunt. âWhy would anyone want to be a woman?
Kenshin looked aside, dipping cleaning rag back to the water to give something for her anxious hands to do. Her stomach churned, like a snakes slithering all over her gut. This was a personal matter, not something sheâd wish to discuss with anyone, least of all, not for the sake of a young lordâs curiosity. Yet she couldnât afford to antagonize her employerâs son. This job she had as a maid was the best work she had found in these last thirteen years she had been on her own, trying to live a lie that felt like the truth.
It wasnât that she didnât know how illogical, how absurd her choices were.
The body sheâd been born with was perfectly fine and healthy, yet it had never felt quite right. Even as a child, she had realized it on some level, though she hadnât been able to pinpoint what bothered her so. But when her family had passed away due to an epidemic and she was adopted to become the heir for an old, dignified bloodline â a stroke of luck, according to everybody â the weight of expectations, of trying to please her benefactor, that all had started to feel nothing more than a gilded cage. For all the kindness of her new father, for everything heâd given her, the role of a noblemanâs son and all the underlying expectations it brought: to court a wife and have a child with her someday just to continue the generational pageant, it all had felt too much to bear.
âItâsâŚâ Kenshin hesitated, âItâs just easier to breathe like this, that it is.â
âBut youâre wearing a corset.â
Lord Soujiroâs expression was so baffled, that a smile tugged at Kenshinâs lips. âA figure of speech, young sir,â Kenshin bowed slightly, to hide her amusement behind the manners of a servant. âPlease, pardon this unworthy one, for being unable to explain it more clearly.â
However, before Kenshin could get back to her task, the main doors swung open and two women marched in. Both of them were strikingly tall and beautiful â a mother and daughter pair that turned heads everywhere they went. As always, they were carefully dressed to match even if their faces bore no family resemblance.
No accident that, but then again, in Lady Yumiâs schemes, nothing ever was. Lord Shishioâs burn wounds he had gained in the aftermath of the Great War might have caused him to be unable to sire an heir, but his lady wife had turned this misfortune to her advantage, scouring through lower-ranked houses for a perfect daughter to adopt. Miss Megumi Shishio, formerly of the house Takani fulfilled all the requirements for intelligence, beauty, and cunning Lady Yumi could possibly want and so, Miss Megumiâs birth family had agreed to sign her off â against a suitable sum, of course.
âLady Yumi, Miss Megumi â welcome back,â Kenshin rose to greet them and rushed to take their afternoon cloaks. âHow was your day? Did the matinee go well?â
Lady Yumi shrugged off her expensive, fur-lined cloak and pushed it to Kenshinâs arms like it was a worthless rag, then paused to look around the hall. âYou still havenât finished cleaning? What have you been doing the whole afternoon? Sleeping?â
Kenshin paused. There was no way she could say Lord Soujiro had been pestering her the whole day, now could she? âPardons, my Lady. There was anâ â
âSave your excuses.â Lady Yumi interrupted her. âYou can finish this mess later â but first, take out and air all of our evening gowns. Everything needs to be washed and ironed to perfection. We shall have to see if any gowns we have on hand are suitable, or do we need to have new ones tailored.â
âThe older gowns might be better for this â make it easier to stand out from the crowd.â Miss Megumi remarked coolly behind Lady Yumi. âGiven how everyone has been thrown into hysterics over this, Iâm sure all the capable tailors are knee-deep in orders already.â
âExactly my thoughts, my dear,â Lady Yumi remarked over her shoulder.
Kenshin blinked in surprise. âHas something happened, that is?â
âThe royal castle just announced an event of a lifetime.â Lady Yumi turned to face Kenshin, a glimmer of excitement shining in her dark eyes. âIn two weeks time, Prince Kaoru will be holding a ball for all the unattached ladies under the age thirty. Finally, in his search for a wife, he is looking further than the daughters of the most influential noble lineages. This time, every daughter from wealthy merchant families, landowners to lower ranked noble houses have been invited.â
âOro!â Kenshin gaped, too stunned for words. A ball like that⌠Oh, it would be a sight to see: all the eligible young women of the kingdom wearing their best dresses and most extravagant hairstyles. Even a freak of nature like her should be able to learn a thing or two, seeing all that beauty in one place.
âKenshin,â Lady Yumiâs voice pulled her out of her wistful thoughts. âNeed I remind you what an opportunity this is for us? If our Megumi makes an impression on Prince Kaoru, it would change everything for the whole Shishio family.â
âAa,â Kenshin nodded in understanding.
âVery good,â Lady Yumi said. âThen get to work! We have only two weeks until the ball and everything has to be perfect by then!â
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âOof!â Miss Megumi grunted.
Kenshin cringed but kept pulling the corset strings tighter. âJust a little more,â she murmured in consolation.
âItâs fine. I can handle it,â Megumi answered.
âDonât get too sentimental, Kenshin.â Lady Yumiâs voice carried behind the folding screen. âNothing less than perfect figure will do! The dress must fit Megumi like a glove. This is not an ordinary ball, but a battlefield for fashion and beauty.â
âYes, Maâam.â Kenshin demurred and went back to the upper row of Miss Megumiâs corset strings, tugging them tighter as commanded. She didnât quite like the look of determined endurance settling on Miss Megumiâs brow, but what could she do? Miss Megumi had her part to play and that was acting the obedient daughter to her benefactor, Lady Yumi.
Miss Megumiâs hand clenched on the back of an armchair she was holding for balance. âKenshin,â she whispered softly, half a request, half a demand like she was intentionally trying to distract herself.
Kenshin winced, understanding the need. When laced this tightly, the corset could be downright painful. âYes, Miss Megumi?â
âI never quite figured it out, but you were a noble, too â werenât you?â
ââŚer,â Kenshin paused, taken aback. In general, she didnât like to talk about herself, but she couldnât quite avoid a direct question without appearing rude. âWell, technically â you could say that, that you could.â
âYou hesitate because you were adopted?â Megumi bit out, her fingers clenching on the chairâs backrest.
âUm,â Kenshin cringed. âThat is to sayâŚâ
âMegumi, donât bother the poor thing. Such sordid family history ought to be uncomfortable to talk about.â Lady Yumiâs voice interrupted them. âBut as it is something that might be useful for you to know, Iâll tell you. Itâs a nice little secret, too. Not many follow Yamatoan news in that sort of detail or remember that far back. You see, the man who adopted our Kenshin was the heir of the great Seijuurou legacy and fortunes, Lord Hiko Seijuurou the 13th. You remember him, donât you, Megumi? The crusty, arrogant codger who turned down my lord husbandâs generous offer for an alliance?â
âOh.â Megumi gasped. âSo thatâs whoâŚâ
Kenshin swallowed and hid her eyes behind her bangs. âWhat Lady Yumi says is true, so it is.â
âOf course it is.â Lady Yumi said pointedly. âMy information is always accurate. But in any case, Megumi â we donât need to associate with Lord Seijuurou anymore. That man is the type of a man who never listens to anyone but himself. No wonder he drove Kenshin to the streets after learning of his delusions.â She shook her head. âWell, not many people can understand why a young man would want to wear dresses like our Kenshin, now can they?â
âBut that isnâtâŚâ Kenshin bit the inside of her lip, trying to hold back her instinctive retort. It took a moment, but she managed to gather herself. She exhaled through gritted teeth and returned lacing Miss Megumiâs corset with swift, precise tugs.
âThis one ran away on her own, that she did,â Kenshin muttered, keeping her voice so soft that it wouldnât carry across the room. Lady Yumi would never understand, but Miss Megumi â she was the closest thing Kenshin had for a friend and she couldnât let her misunderstand a matter like this. âEven at his best, Hiko was a difficult man, true,â Kenshin explained quietly. âBut he only ever wanted the best for this one, that he did. Even to this day, this one isnât sure if Hiko knows why this one left.â
Miss Megumi hummed, a consolation in her tone, âBut why did you leave then? Without a word, no less? Surely thatâs too⌠drastic?â
Kenshin looked aside, the shame and guilt twisting in her belly like snakes coiling tight. It had happened nearly thirteen years ago, and still, the memory made her feel so very small. âHiko⌠Hiko was the person this one looked up to and respected, more than anything. The last thing on earth this one wanted to do was to cause him a disappointment, but this one simply couldnât be the son he wanted, thatâs all.â
âBut donât you thinkââ Miss Megumi bit her lip, and started again. âIf you could, would you tell him now?â
Kenshin closed her eyes. âI⌠I donât know.â She shook her head and clarified, âone would want to, certainly â but itâs been much too long since then. Itâd bring him nothing but grief at this late date, that it would.â
âI see,â Miss Megumi murmured.
In resounding silence, Kenshin laced the corset of Miss Megumiâs bodice, too and then tied the strings to a neat little bow. Finally, she turned around and took the magnificent, rich purple evening gown down from the dress stand beside them and helped Miss Megumi to pull it over her undergarments.
For an old dress, was in a very good condition. No one would have known how terrible it had looked last week when Kenshin had dug it out of the attic storage, all mottled and yellowed. Now, not a hint of stain remained in white lace of the sleeveâs accent, nor was a single stitch of embroidery loose or frayed. It had been tough work, washing and repairing the gown, then ironing it to such perfection. Now Kenshin could only exhale in relief, proud of her achievement.
Miss Megumi stepped in front of the mirror. âI think this is it,â she decided.
Lady Yumi walked around Miss Megumi, eyeing her critically. âYes, you might be right. Your figure is perfect and that purple brings out your paleness and contrasts well with your colors. Itâs old enough that the style is ready for rebirth; itâs no longer shabby but excitingly different. Itâs almost shade to shade with our houseâs official colors, too, which should work nicely in proclaiming our status at the ball.â
The Lady paused to hum thoughtfully. âI shall have to wear something complimentary, too.â She glanced at Kenshin. âGood work, Kenshin. I shall have to figure out something nice to reward you for this.â
âAbout that,â Miss Megumi smiled, eying Kenshin through the reflection of the mirror. âWhy donât we take Kenshin to the ball with us? She could wear one of my last seasonâs gowns.â
âOro!â Kenshin froze, thoroughly surprised. Where had Miss Megumi gotten such an impossible idea?
Even Lady Yumi paused. âWhy would you suggest that?â
Megumi turned around and motioned towards Kenshin. âYou said so yourself â didnât you, Mother? Every unattached, eligible woman under the age of thirty is invited. Kenshin was adopted by a noble family. Thatâs a status far more eligible than a merchantâs or landownerâs daughter and we certainly wouldnât lose anything having one more pair of eyes on our side. This ball is an unprecedented opportunity to catch the Princeâs interest, so Iâm sure there will be plenty of upstarts trying to tilt the scale to their favor through any means necessary.â
âYou have a point,â Lady Yumi agreed slowly. Then, quick as lightning, she snapped, âKenshin! You are still under the age of thirty, arenât you?â
âUh⌠yes?â Kenshin hesitated. âThat is to say,â she swallowed and then counted on her fingers, just to make sure. âUm, this one is twenty-nine, that she is.â
âThen what are you waiting for? Fetch a gown and we will see if any of them can be adjusted to fit. You are a fair bit shorter than Megumi and weâve got no time to make significant alterations.â
Kenshin resolutely didnât âeepâ, but gods, did she feel like it. The Princeâs grand ball? Lady Yumi and Miss Megumi were thinking of taking her with them? Sheâd have a chance to see a real, live ball for the first time as a woman? She could get to enjoy the live music, watch the dances and all the beautiful women dressed to their best? Kenshinâs heart skipped a beat at the thought and for a second, she felt such yearning that her throat tightened, making it impossible to breathe. Her knees grew weakâ
But then, Miss Megumi slipped past her and winked at her slyly. What are you waiting for? Come on! Her smile seemed to say.
And Kenshin exhaled in relief, rushing after her to the walk-in closet where most of Miss Megumiâs recent dresses were stored. As fitting of a young lady partaking to all social gatherings of the season, Miss Megumi couldnât wear the same gown twice â which meant that she had to have dozens of dresses, all arranged by type of an event, a timing of the event and season in question.
Miss Megumi browsed through her collection of evening gowns, picking one made in red silk and rich embroideries and held it up for inspection. âWhat do you think?â
âAh, well,â Kenshin didnât want to protest, but she remembered that gown â it had been one of the more expensive ones Lady Yumi had ever bought for her new daughter, a fancy dress where embroideries had been made with real gold thread. Even now, a year out of fashion, it drew eyes. It was far too fine for a servant to wear, no matter what her origins might be.
âUm, isnât that far too bold a color?â Kenshin demurred, lifting her left handâs fingers to fiddle with a longer strand of her vivid red hair peeking under her headscarf.
Thankfully, Miss Megumi caught the hint. âIf you say so,â she murmured and put the dress back to rack, only to pick another, a satin number made in lush forest green shade. Miss Megumi had worn it only once and for a good reason: it was very simplified for an evening gown and they had found out a bit too late that the rich color was very difficult to match with any jewelry.
âHow about this one?â
Kenshin bit her lip, stepping closer to touch the silky fabric. âWell, if you donât think itâs too muchâŚâ
âOf course not,â Miss Megumi huffed. âI was the one who suggested this, wasnât it? Now, letâs do this! Take off your uniform and Iâll help this on you.â
A wave of panic flashed inside Kenshin and her smile grew fixed. She hadnât undressed before anyone in years. Not even to her undergarments; the chaste pantaloons, petticoat, and bodice that came up high enough to push up her pectorals to form a fairly believable likeness to real breast, albeit writ small. But then again, she had helped Miss Megumi and Lady Yumi to put on these elaborate dresses for countless times and they had accepted her presence, even knowing perfectly well that she was not exactly like most women in the body.
And obviously, one couldnât lace up a proper gown aloneâŚ
âUm, thank you â Miss Megumi,â Kenshin murmured. Swallowing down the wave of nausea stirring at the pit of her stomach, she drew her hands behind her, tugging loose the apron she usually wore over her modest, black maidâs dress.
She was about to raise her hands over her head to unbutton the dressâ high collar, when Miss Megumi said, âlet me help.â
Nimble fingers tackled the row of buttons at the nape of her neckâŚ. and never once in her life, had Kenshin felt quite so terrified. The absurd fears and anxiety stirred inside her, raising their ugly heads. What if Miss Megumi realized just how wrong she was in the body? How much of a liar she truly was? What if she would come to hate her?
Out of all Shishio household, Miss Megumi was the only one who didnât hesitate to treat Kenshin as a woman.
The rest, well⌠Lord Shishio and Lord Soujiro found her an amusing freak, a man so desperately wanting to bed another man that he had started dressing up as a woman. Kenshin had never protested their assertions or tried to explain the shameful truth â that no matter what clothes she might wear or call herself, she wasnât after a man.
No, she was after no one.
Though, if she had to confess; what drew her eye had always been other women, even if calling it attraction was too strong a term. The fact was that Kenshin had never once dared to entertain a notion that another woman could want her in turn, so her feelings could be at best summed as wistful thoughts.
Perhaps, Lady Yumi was closest to the truth, thinking Kenshin a harmless, neuter thing, too deep in her delusions to even desire love.
âAll done,â Miss Megumi proclaimed. âNow, step out of that dress and letâs pull this on you, hmm?â
Kenshin blinked slowly, the world aligning to its place out of sudden. A shiver raced through her spine as she registered the draft on her naked shoulders and upper back. Her gut lurched and she felt like throwing up, but now â now was far too late to protest.
She slipped the loose, untied dress away from her shoulders and stepped out of it, taking her time to fold it neatly.
Then, she turned around; arms huddled in front of her chest.
Miss Megumi didnât even blink. Like, not for a second, did she feel there was anything strange about Kenshinâs body at all. Instead, she handed her a crinoline and helped her to put it around her waist, huffing in disapproval as she had to improvise the fastenings to make them tighter. âYou need to eat more. You are thinner than young girls who are still waiting for their first periods.â
Somehow, it felt good, to be treated like she was just another woman. Kenshin looked down; feeling a little overwhelmed by everything and fought back a smile.
âThis one eats aplenty,â she protested softly.
âLiar,â Miss Megumi huffed fondly. âNow, hands up and letâs hope this gown can be tightened enough to show off that tiny waist of yours.â
Obediently, Kenshin let Megumi help the gown over her head, and feeling it fall down around her, enveloping her in that smooth, silky fabric⌠it felt like a dream. She blinked, not entirely sure why her eyes were misted.
âThere we go.â Miss Megumi said fondly. âNow, turn around and Iâll lace this up. While Iâm doing that, take down your hair, would you? I bet it will contrast this dress nicely.â
It helped, to have Miss Megumi be so matter-of-fact about this and it allowed Kenshin to gather her nerves, to focus on the matter at hand. She tugged off her headscarf and unpinned her long hair from the tight bun she usually wore it in. It was too long, too eye-catching to be left loose. The last thing she wanted was to attract needless attention. It was enough for people to glance at her and look away in disinterest, seeing nothing but a maid running an errand.
She felt, rather than heard Miss Megumiâs struggles in lacing up the gown â it was a little too large for Kenshin. They all knew that. A bit too long in the hem, bit too wide in the waist, but thatâs why most gowns had lacings, to help in adjusting the fit.
Then it was done.
Miss Megumi walked around her, looking at her up and down. âMy, myâŚâ She smiled. âYou clean up pretty.â
âOro?â Kenshin looked up, surprised. Had she heard that right?
Instead of explaining more, Miss Megumi nodded in a decision. âThis is going to be perfect.â Then, she headed to the living room, obviously expecting Kenshin to follow.
The shoes Kenshin wore in-house were the comfortable, modest slippers, far from the high heels ladies wore with evening gowns like this. Fearing the hem would drag the floor, Kenshin lifted it with both hands as she rushed to follow Miss Megumi. However, she didnât make it but a few feet in the living room, when a loud gasp rang out.
Lady Yumi stared at her with wide eyes, her hand covering her mouth. âKenshinâŚ?â She asked faintly, as though she had gotten the shock of her life.
âMaâam?â Kenshin hesitated.
Miss Megumi walked to Kenshinâs side, smiling smugly as a cat with a saucer of cream. âWhat do you think, mother?â She asked. âWouldnât you say Kenshin passes the muster?â
Lady Yumi frowned, looking at Kenshin â then at Megumi, then at Kenshin again. And suddenly, her eyes narrowed, as if in anger?
Why would she be angry?
Kenshinâs shivered, a sense of evil premonition rushing through her. Had she done something wrong? But all she had done was what Miss Megumi had asked of her, what even Lady Yumi had agreed toâŚ
âNo.â Lady Yumiâs voice was as cool as arctic ice. âForget it. What would people think if we took our resident freak to the event of the year? A man deluding himself by thinking he is a woman⌠we would be laughed off the court!â
Miss Megumi inhaled sharply. âMotherâŚâ
âYou are too kind, my daughter, when you encourage Kenshinâs delusions. Harsh as it may be, the truth is better. Kenshin is not and never will be a woman.â Lady Yumi sneered and marched to the door, holding it open. âKenshin, take that dress off and burn it. Megumi is too good to wear a dress someone else has worn. Then go and clean the cellars. I donât want to see you for the rest of the day.â
Each word struck like whiplash, burning like salt and acid on wounds. It hurt. It hurt far worse than any insult Kenshin had suffered in years to have a woman she had thought accepted her in some level to turn on her and tear down the trust they had built between them. Kenshin walked past her slowly, barely holding back the anguish and and anger threatening to overtake her by a storm.
The door slammed shut behind her.
Kenshin covered her face to her hands, gasped softly⌠only to realize she was crying. For the first time in thirteen years, ever since she had run away from Hiko and the only place she had called her home, she was crying.
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Prince Kaoru gazed down to the patio, where maids, servants, and other workers were rushing back and forth, busy with the preparations for the grand ball â the event of the decade, as many had taken to calling it.
Only two days left⌠and so much to do.
She sighed tiredly.
She should have never agreed to this madness.
These past two weeks had been the most stressful of her life, and that was saying something! Now, make no mistake, normally Kaoru even enjoyed the hustle. But this time, it seemed everyone and their grandmother had taken a far too personal interest in everything Kaoru did, trying to gauge hints on how to prepare their daughters for the task of catching her interest.
If Kaoru asked for a second slice of cake, attentive ears caught it and passed it down the rumor mill as a good topic to mention during a conversation over tea. If her eye happened to linger a second too long on anyone of the feminine disposition, attentive eyes noticed it and made sure every bit of that poor girlâs looks was analyzed to the bone and her most prominent choices expertly replicated the following day by half a dozen contenders. Hell, the most ridiculous example of this was the damn scarf Kaoru had taken to wearing couple weeks ago with her uniform. It had been a nice, blue silk scarf and she had fancied it looked good â but the rumor mill had taken notice and now, it was said there was no scrap of blue or blue shaded fabric left in town as every tailor had been booked to make blue evening gowns.
Hopefully, the ladies would take notice of the trend in time and pick something else to wear, or the whole crowd would come to the ball wearing shades of blue.
Kaoru shook her head in exasperation and turned around, leaning her arms against the balcony railing behind her.
The grand ballroom was a bit quieter than the outdoor patio, a bit more finished in decoration. Many nobles were present, handling the preparations for their gifts. The term âgiftâ, of course, was at best a polite fiction. An event like this was a huge drain on the Kingâs resources and as such, the organization costs were shared with wealthier nobles in the manner of gifted decorations, catering and other things that were necessary for an event meant to include hundreds of guests. This was no one-way street, by any means. Showcasing their fiefs productsâ and artisanâs best efforts often resulted in increased sales revenue and resulting tax money for the nobles.
Prince Kaoru was just about to leave, when she caught a sight of a tall, strikingly beautiful woman making her way towards Lord Hiko Seijuurou the 13th. Lord Hiko had been very demanding about the handling of his fiefâs famed master potter Niitsu Kakunoshinâs artworks for the whole morning, so much that no one in the hall would have dared to interrupt him. Yet, this young lady did â boldly and unapologetically.
Kaoru blinked.
She was too far away to overhear their exchange but damned if she wasnât interested.
Lord Hiko had a well-established â and well-deserved â reputation as a confirmed bachelor. For all his wealth, fame and good connections with King Koshijirou, he was known as a particularly abrasive, arrogant man, who didnât suffer stupidity for a moment. Hiko had made no secret of his lack of interest in marital matters, either. Because of this, most ladies warned their daughters to stay away from him.
So, to see a young lady â and what was that young ladyâs name? Kaoru was sure she had seen her somewhere before â approaching Hiko on her own, to engage him to a discussion without a chaperone, it was interesting.
Kaoru frowned, studying the striking pair from a distance.
Hikoâs initial disdain was melting, only to be replaced by an honest curiosity.
The young lady smirked, looking up to meet his gaze fearlessly and then, pressed a letter to his hands. The young lady said somethingâŚ
And Hiko paled, the letter grumbling in his massive fist.
The lady bobbed a slight curtsey and left without looking back.
Kaoru stared, studying the lady with an unabashed interest. It wasnât often she saw a woman like that; beautiful and ballsy enough to take on a man like Hiko. Yet, why couldnât she recognize her? The expensive dress the lady was wearing and the fact that she was here today, it meant she had to be of a noble rank â but of what family? Kaoru could have sworn she would recognize all the daughters of the noble families by this pointâŚ
Well, the mystery should be easily solved! Kaoru shook her head fondly, heading to chat up Hiko. It had been a while since she had exchanged a word with one of her fatherâs closest friends among Yamatoan nobility.
Lord Hiko didnât visit the capital often, preferring to stay in his estate in Kyoto and keep an eye on the Makimachi family. However, he was a trusted ally and their best, unbiased opinion about Yamatoâs true state after Ezzo had annexed them.
âLord Seijuurou, I hope the travel fared you well,â Kaoru greeted him, noting how pale he still was. Truly remarkable. She hadnât believed there was anything in the world that could render a man like him so obviously off-balance. Arrogant as Faustus, sharp-tongued and reclusive by nature, Hiko was a singular personality. In looks as well. In his mid-forties, he was still built like a brick wall, taller and more muscular than most men doing hard manual labor.
âPrince Kaoru,â Hiko rumbled. âI take you saw thatâŚaltercation?â
âI did,â Kaoru confirmed easily. âBelieve me, when a young lady of good breeding approaches you â most people take notice. Itâs not an everyday occurrence, after all.â
âPlenty of women approach me,â Hiko scoffed in disdain. âI merely donât see any benefit in having a wife nag at me, as you well know.â
âSo I understand,â Kaoru smiled. âHowever, I can admit I was curious as to what happened. That young lady, who was she?â She glanced at the crowd where the woman in question had disappeared.
âGot your interest, then?â Hiko raised his eyebrow and then looked at her seriously. âGive it up. That was Shishio Megumi, the girl Lady Shishio adopted to be her daughter.â
âOh,â Kaoru gasped, having no trouble catching the distrustful sentiment in his words.
Even now, after two decades of hard work, dedication and painful compromises from her father, there were still tensions among Yamatoan and Ezzo nobility. There was no shortage of nobles, who would do anything to raise their own status and among those, Lord Shishio was considered the most likely to stir trouble. Resourceful, wily, yet with such connections that they couldnât be entirely ignored⌠and worse, there was a rumor that the major burn wounds Lord Shishio had suffered on the last day of King Koshijirouâs war to unite Ezzo and Yamato were caused by a failed assassination attempt on behalf their own.
Those burn wounds restricted Lord Shishioâs movements to this day and were said to be a reason for his antagonistic attitude towards King Koshijirou.
Kaoru didnât know why, but she suspected her fatherâs reluctance to appoint Lord Shishio to any politically significant post was born from that bad rep.
Yet, was a lordâs bad rep enough to scorn the whole family?
She had seen Lady Yumi working tirelessly for years to raise her influence in the court, visiting each and every event of the year. It was a dedication that Kaoru could respect, even if she had always steered clear from the family.
And this Megumi⌠She could be something different, indeed. If Kaoru couldnât recognize her, this meant Lady Megumi had been adopted when she was already an adult in her own right. Which meant, that there was no way on earth that Megumi was yet another brainless ingĂŠnue taught to obey her motherâs beck and call.
Interesting, indeed.
âWhat are you thinking?â Hiko asked, pulling Kaoru from her thoughts.
âNothing. Nothing at all,â Kaoru said. âHowever, if you donât mind me asking â what was that business with the letter?â
âThis?â Hiko raised the crumbled paper and scowled, âA personal attack or a personal favor. The hell if I can tell which.â
Kaoru blinked. âThat sounds⌠sinister.â
âHardly that,â Hiko looked aside, a strange look flashing in his eyes.
Sorrow? Anger? Something that was both and neither, but deep as an ocean. Kaoru shivered, struck by the weight of emotion.
âThis is just an opportunity to solve a mystery that has bothered me for a long time.â Hiko mused softly, half to himself. âThirteen years, I have spent wondering what I did wrong, and now, I have the means to find an answer. Yet, after all these years, what would it gain anyone if I went out there seeking the truth?â
âWhat would you lose?â Kaoru asked.
Hiko startled, turning to look at her. Obviously, he hadnât expected an answer.
Kaoru looked up at him, her eyes serious. âWhatever that was, itâs obviously important for you â right? So, at least in my eyes, you should ask yourself what would you lose if you knew the answer?â
âTime,â Hiko huffed. Then, he shook his head. âTime and enough sake to get drunk afterward,â he grudgingly allowed.
âThere you go.â Kaoru nodded, as it was decided.
âYou have grown up awfully pushy, havenât you?â Hiko stated. âBut fine, Iâll think about it. Now hop along. Surely you got some other poor sod to bother than me.â
Kaoru grinned and waved a lazy salute to his direction, then left.
After all, she had her own mission to get to: finding out exactly what kind of a woman Miss Megumi Shishio was and could she become the bride the Crown Prince of the Kingdoms Yamato and Ezzo needed.
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Miss Megumi was beautiful. The purple evening gown brought out her perfect hourglass figure to the best effect. Her expensive, white gold jewelry and elaborate hairdo framed her carefully painted face like an exquisite artwork.
If that wasnât enough to catch a Princeâs eye, then nothing was. Kenshin smiled wistfully as she watched through the atticâs windows as Miss Megumi and Lady Yumi step into their carriage. The driver bowed and closed the doors. He rose to his seat and waved his whip, spurring the four, matching bronze furred horses to trot. The carriage disappeared from the townhouse courtyard and melded to the streetâs midday traffic. They were leaving early, hoping to avoid the rush.
Now, there was nothing left to do but to wait and hope for the best.
It would be the pinnacle of Lady Yumiâs ambition if her adopted daughter managed to enthrall Prince Kaoru. Such a match would be advantageous to Miss Megumi too. Perhaps even on a personal level.
Not that Kenshin claimed to know much about anything, but most people in the streets agreed that Prince Kaoru was good-mannered, well-read and altogether a charming man. No one certainly had anything but good things to mention about him. Well, if the occasional jokes about his lack of height werenât counted â and Kenshin certainly didnât; the punch line in those jokes hit a bit too close to home in her case.
So Kenshin dared to have a little faith.
If Miss Megumi succeeded tonight, she would have a life every young woman could only dream about.
Rubbing her knees to alleviate her aches and pains, Kenshin straightened. She was getting a bit too old to spy from the attic at the Lady of the house and her daughter. She had just wanted to see them off, but Lady Yumi was still angry at her and had told her to stay out of her sight. It was, of course, the Ladyâs right. Kenshin had overstepped her boundaries rather badly and even now, Lady Yumi had shown no sign of forgiving her, so Kenshin had done her best to work when Lady Yumi couldnât see her.
Grabbing her bucket and the broom from the closet, Kenshin headed down to the first floor. Now would be a perfect time to finish washing the hallway floors. Lady Yumi had been disappointed about her work earlier, so now she would have a chance to make the marble floors shine like a mirror. There would be no quests coming in, not tonight. Even Lord Shishio had retreated with Lord Soujiro to the countryside, not wishing to take part in a âwomenâs showmanship event.â
Not an entirely inaccurate statement, that.
From what Kenshin had understood from Miss Megumi, the only men partaking in the Prince Kaoruâs ball were either fathers, brothers, uncles or other relatives. That is, if the menfolk opted to go at all. Given the purpose of the ball was for the young ladies to try to catch the Princeâs eye, it seemed that quite a few women felt that coming in with a male chaperone was disadvantageous to their purposes.
Just for that, it would have been an interesting event to observe.
Kenshin smiled, but then shook her head firmly. No, she shouldnât think about this. Despite her past, these days she was just a maid and a mere maid could never attend an event the Crown Prince of the kingdom had arranged to find a bride to be.
Kenshin dunked her broom to the bucket, wrung it mostly dry and started washing the floor with determinate, almost furious movements. It was far better to focus on her job, the job that quarantined her livelihood than waste time pondering about the impossible.
Yes.
You made your choices, knowing perfectly well how it would turn out and now you are just a maid.
And it was the right choice, no matter how much it hurt.
Never forget that.
The time flew. It was hard to say how long had passed, minutes or hours, but not long after, the sweat clung Kenshinâs dress to her back and tiny aches were becoming more pressing on her hips, on her waist and her ribs where her corset dug the worst pressure. Maybe she had pulled it too tight, too angry at herself to care of the practicalities?
She huffed angrily and straightened her back, digging couple fingers under the corsetâs brim. It wasnât that tight. Maybe she was just getting old that it got uncomfortable to crouch for longer periods of time when washing the hallways?
A decisive knock on the door startled her out of her thoughts.
What on earth?
No one should be coming tonightâŚ
Well, perhaps itâs some door to door salesman or someone who has gotten lost? Kenshin bit her lip, swept her hands to her apron, straightened her skirt and hurried to answer the door.
âYes? How might this one be of service?â Kenshin asked promptly, gazing up at the visitorâs face only to blanch white as a sheet.
âF-father,â She whispered in shock, unable to believe what her eyes were telling her. Those piercing dark eyes set in that ageless, handsome face. The towering height and sheer mass of his body, the outrageous white cape he wore to every event, even the sword he carried at his waist like it was a perfectly normal accessory for an outing to the town. It was like she had been swept decades to the past. Take away those lines around his mouth, those faint crowâs feet cornering his eyes and this was the same face she still dreamed about every now and then, imagining her adoptive fatherâs disappointment if she ever met him again.
Yes, in her dreams â he frowned just like this.
Kenshinâs knees buckled under her, and she fell to a deep begging bow, her forehead pressed to the harsh marble floor she had spent hours washing until it shone. She swallowed, her throat gone dry. She knew exactly what she should say. She should apologize and beg for forgiveness for abandoning his generosity and kindness, and then apologize once more, for leaving without a word. She had done everything wrong, offered the worst insult an adopted child could offer for their parent.
And yet, yet⌠the words refused to come.
Her throat felt too tight, her lips too dry. Her voice was not hers to command, not anymore, so she laid still, in that deep begging bow and hoped, hoped so fervently that it was enough.
The silence that fell between them was heavy, like a thick shroud drawn across old furniture to cover them from dust.
Finally, her father spoke. âThis⌠This was why you left?â
Kenshin didnât need to look up to know he had motioned to her with his right hand, palm open â accusatory, but not yet judging. Even now, she knew all his habits and gestures with the attentive familiarity of a student who had watched him for years upon years, hoping to copy even a sliver of his self-confidence. There was no need for her to look up, for she knew the disappointment that would be on his face now that he saw her like this, wearing a dress and corset just like another woman. The very thought of his gaze was enough to make her shiver.
âYes,â She whispered, feeling smaller and more vulnerable than ever before. âI⌠I tried, but I couldnât be the son you wanted.â
He hummed, his voice low and rumbling like earth shifting beneath their feet.
âSo you left,â he said. âNever saying a word, never telling me why â you simply let me wonder for thirteen long years.â
He scoffed.
âI donât know why Iâm surprised.â
Kenshin flinched as if struck.
âYou were always a coward.â
âIt wasnât cowardice!â Kenshin insisted, raised her head for the first time. âPlease, sir â you have to understand!â And then the words just flooded out, like a torrent of emotion gushing out alongside tears and anguish she had been harboring inside for as long as she could remember, âI couldnât become a disappointment to you! Not when you adopted me for a reason! The Hiten Mitsurugi sword style that has passed through your family for thirteen generations and the name of Hiko Seijuurou were so important to you, a legacy you wanted to honor. But Iâm not Hiko Seijuurou the 14th, I never could be! Thatâs not who I am!â
Kenshin heaved for breath and looked down, gesturing to her chest and dress wildly. âThis! This is who I am. Iâm just Kenshin. That name you gave me the day you adopted me was more than enough for me! It was a sign that you wanted me, that even a freak like me was worth something. But had I stayed, had I told you all this⌠I would have become a burden to you, a mockery of all the things you valued and I couldnât do that to you!â
Hikoâs face had become so still that it seemed like his features were carved out of marble, but then he looked at her, met her eyes directly, like he was seeing a person, not a memory, and his gaze grew strange. Soft, and almost like⌠had he actually listened to her?
Kenshin blinked like an owl. What? I must be more deluded than I realized because Hiko would neverâŚ
âYou really are an idiot,â said Hiko at long last.
âOro?â
âOnly a self-sacrificial, overly dramatic idiot like you would think that running away from home would help their parent.â Hiko gave her a pointed, disapproving look. âI adopted you because I didnât want to die without anyone to remember me. All men desire a legacy of a sort, even if they canât stand to suffer a wife and the usual trouble that goes along making a family. Now stand up and let me have a look at you. Itâs been years since I have seen my child and you are far from the sixteen-year-old I remember.â
ââŚOro?â Kenshin gaped, unable to come up with anything more coherent to say.
Slowly, she climbed to her feet. Feeling rather awkward, she smoothed down the creases on her dress and apron, as to give something for her hands to do while Hiko walked around her, studying her intently like she had seen him studying vases and bowls from finest potters he wanted to use as an inspiration for his own artwork.
âYou still donât eat enough,â Hiko concluded. âWhat have I told you about skipping the meals for your other interest?â
Kenshin looked aside, feeling heat rush to her cheeks. She had no trouble remembering the lecture: Hiko had told her that if she skipped meals, she would never grow past the average height for women. Those words had been meant as a mortifying barb at the time. After all, for most young men the very idea of being shorter than girls was abhorrent, but for Kenshin⌠well, it had never quite hit the mark, even if she had to endure her share of teasing from her contemporaries about the subject afterward.
âItâs not such a hardship, being short,â Kenshin said softly, glancing up through her lashes. âMost women are.â
Hiko grimaced, acknowledging her jab. âSo I see.â
Kenshin studied the slew of expressions flitting through Hikoâs face as he tried to process through this change of dynamic between them. They were not the father and son they had been, nor could they ever again have that same relationship. For all Hikoâs genius intellect, for his artistic ability and tremendous self-confidence that bordered on arrogance â Hiko was used to relying on his perfect recall, his ability to pick up details from his impressive memory that most people would have forgotten.
But now, he couldnât do that â simply because Kenshin was not who she had been. Nor was Kenshin willing to fold and give up any of the hard-won understanding of herself she gained during these harsh years. No, she knew now who she was and she wouldnât give that up for anything, not even for Hiko.
âYou really think you are a woman, then?â Hiko asked, a hint of hesitance entering his eyes. âItâs not an act?â
âNo. Itâs not an act,â Kenshin said quietly. âItâs not a game or something this one could just give up, either.â She took a pause, inhaled sharply and motioned to her body. âI, ah⌠I always was a woman. I know itâs not normal, butâŚâ She shook her head. âI just am.â
Hiko looked at her for a moment, then slowly â nodded. âAlright.â
Kenshin looked up, âSir?â
âIf thatâs what you say, then thatâs how it is,â Hiko stated firmly like he was speaking of the stars on the sky, or the rising tide or any phenomenon that a man couldnât change, only adapt to. Like for him, it really was that simple.
It was terrifying.
Since Kenshin first met Hiko, he had loomed over her as a personality that was larger than life. He was a demanding man who didnât suffer for fools. Even on his best days, he didnât have the patience for people, for listening to their woes. For years Kenshin had struggled to achieve anything he had wanted from her, to be worthy of all he had given to her. But never once had she entertained a notion that he could believe her and accept her as she was.
Except⌠somehow, he had.
Why?
Kenshin gaped, unable to comprehend it. Had Hiko changed during these years?
âŚOr did I just never give him the chance to accept me?
The thought made her feel faint and her knees wavered under her weight as might-have-beens rushed through her mind. She had been sixteen years old, heartbroken and terrified, all but suffocating under the weight of expectations. But what if there had been other options she just hadnât seen? What if she never had to run away from home? What if all her hard choices, loneliness, and grief had been for nothing? Nausea stirred and for a second, Kenshin was sure she would be sick. Oh, gods! Just how many things could have been different had I just tried back then?
A strong arm caught her, steadying her before she could fall. âCalm down, idiot,â the low voice rumbled. âWhatâs done is done and thereâs no changing it.â
It was thoroughly unfair how easy it was to relax into that hold, to believe those words and fight through the haze of panic and regrets threatening to envelop her.
Kenshin closed her eyes and swallowed, âYes, sir.â Â
Hiko pushed her to straighten, then sought out her eyes and uttered slowly, purposefully, âGood girl.â
Just two words and Kenshin felt like she could cry. Blinking through the mist in her eyes, she smiled. âYou mean it. You really mean it.â
âOf course I do. I donât make a habit of lying,â Hiko huffed but looked aside â as if he was somewhat uncomfortable. But that was alright. He was trying. Out of all people, Hiko Seijuurou the 13th was trying and that meant more than words could convey.
Overwhelmed by the realization, Kenshin reached to hug him.
She could feel how he stiffened in her grip, but he endured it for briefest of moments before pushing her away. She wasnât deterred by the least. With him, it had always been the little things that mattered. He had never been an emotional man. So she let him step back and gather himself in peace, retreat to his reserved, brusque manners.
Hiko glanced around the hallway, his eyes landing on the bucket and broomstick Kenshin had abandoned to the floor in her hurry to answer the door. âThis work of yours⌠is it important for you?â
âOro?â
âYou do realize that no child of mine needs to work for their living?â Hiko asked, a hint of distaste appearing on his face, âAt least, not in such a⌠insignificant job.â
âThereâs nothing shameful about doing housework, that there isnât,â Kenshin protested.
âI never said there was,â Hiko replied mildly. âHowever, you are my daughter and I am not without means to provide for you. Your room at the manor is still the same when you left. You could come back to Kyoto with me and think through what you want for your life instead of the choices you have made to support yourself.â
It mattered, that he was asking. Hiko of her childhood wouldnât have bothered. He would have just ordered her to pack up and whisked her away to the night without as much as a warning.
However, Kenshin was not the child she had been either.
âI⌠This one appreciates your offer, that one does,â Kenshin said softly. âBut could this one have some time to think about it? This oneâs work⌠ah, thatâs to say, this one has obligations here. It would be beyond rude, just go and leave milady and milord without capable house-help. One would at least prefer to help them find a replacement and train the new maid as to make the disruption to miladyâs routine as slight as possible, that one would.â
âThatâsâŚâ Hikoâs distaste was obvious. âWell, if you think thatâs necessary.â
Kenshin bopped a little curtsey, âThank you, sir.â
âHmmph! Stop that!â
Kenshin tensed.
âNot with the girlishness,â Hiko scowled, but then corrected himself, âitâs unnecessary for you to act so formal with me. Youâre not just a maid, but my daughter, are you not? At the very least, Iâd like to get to know you â as you are now â better.â
A relieved smile inched up to Kenshin lips. âAa,â she agreed. âThis one would like that too, um â father.â
âGood.â Hiko cleared his throat. âIt seems Iâll be staying here longer than I originally planned for.â
âYou are? But you hate the capital!â
âWell, how else am I going to get to spend any time with you? Or get a chance to spoil you rotten?â Hiko shrugged, a touch awkward. âMost old coots at the court claim there is no other way to please their daughters than to gift them with extravaganza. Not that I ever imagined having a daughter, but⌠eh, it seems I need to learn.â
Gifts? Extravaganza? With each word, Kenshinâs eyes flew wider. âNo, sir! You neednât buy this one anything! Itâs enough that you are here, that it is!â
âHush now. If I feel like buying you gifts, you will just smile and accept them. Thatâs how any woman with manners behaves.â Hiko eyed her, âOr need I hire you a tutor in ladies manners as well?â
Kenshin paled. âNo, no need to!â
âHmm. We will see.â Hikoâs lips curled to a pleased smile. âIt ought to be a learning experience â for both of us, I wager â to get you introduced to the court and start partaking in all those socializing events the ladies arrange through the season. Well, better you than me. From what I understand, the highborn ladies gossip circle is uncanny at picking up information that I usually would have to hire spies for.â
ââŚSir?â
Hiko waved his hand dismissively. âI have been keeping an ear out for hints of potential dissidence among Yamatoâs nobility for King Kamiya for quite some time. You ought to be able to help me with it.â
âAh,â Kenshin blinked. That, that actually explained a great deal about Hikoâs actions in the past, mainly how he had pushed Kenshin to try to befriend younger sons of Yamatoan nobility and partake in their hunting trips during the last years she had lived with him. It had been very uncomfortable. Despite her best tries, Kenshin had never been anything but a short, shy and âsissyâ outsider among them.â
âSpeaking of introducing you to the court,â Hiko muttered, his eyes narrowing thoughtfully. âWe really ought to get going. Itâs going to be a rush job, but I think we should be able to manage to get you ready.â
âOro?â Kenshin shook of her bad memories and focused on the present. âWhat do you mean, sir?â
âThe ball,â Hiko stated as if it was a particularly stupid question. âPrince Kaoru is arranging the event of the year tonight.â
âButâŚâ Kenshin gasped. âBut, Iâm not a-â
âYou are my daughter, are you not? The princeâs invitation was clear. Every unattached, eligible lady under the age thirty should attend. It would be a scandal like no other should I try to introduce my daughter to the court if I didnât bring her to the event of the year. So make yourself ready and letâs get going. Iâll go to alert my driver.â Hiko spun around and marched away, his white cape flowing behind him.
Kenshin was left staring after him, struggling to pry her jaw off the floor.
The ball?
Hiko wanted to take her to the ball?
But, but⌠she was a maid. She had obligations!
âOh gods,â Kenshin whispered to herself. âWhat should I do?â
Her gaze landed on the bucket and broomstick she had abandoned to the floor and marble tiles that were cleaner than they had been in all the time she had worked in Shishio household. The townhouse was empty. There would be no guests coming in tonight. No one would know if she left work early and took part to an event alongside hundreds of other women.
And the fact was⌠she wanted to go.
It was that simple.
A small, juvenile smile rose to her lips and Kenshin grabbed her cleaning tools, then rushed off to put them away and change to her street clothes.
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So far Prince Kaoru had concluded that Miss Megumi Shishio was not only staggeringly beautiful but also deeply intelligent, cunning and independent enough that her loyalty might be seduced⌠and just about the most frightening woman Kaoru had ever met. Not like the unsuitable women that bards and storytellers described in the horror stories. No, Megumi was most definitely in her right mind and while she clearly had her own plots and machinations, she was no black widow hunting for a mate to use for her own gain.
No, what raised Kaoruâs shackles was something far more subtle.
During these two dances they had shared, never once had Megumiâs gaze wandered away from Kaoru. Her dark eyes studied Kaoru like she was something strange and mysterious that needed to be analyzed and categorized. Every gesture Kaoru made, every word she said, Megumi noted and responded with something mild, unassuming that didnât give a hint what her personal thoughts about the subject were.
It made Megumi an easy conversation partner. Kaoru could talk to her about anything, from politics, popular gossip to relevant events and Megumi would always say the right thing encourage Kaoru to talk more. There was nothing wrong with it. Hell, most young men would gulp up all that unrivaled attention and just run with it, thinking they had found the perfect woman. Even for Kaoru, it wasnât an unpleasant experience.
It was just⌠it left her feeling like she was talking to a mirror that showed her only what she wanted to see.
Kaoru bit the inside of her cheek, realizing perfectly well how silly she was being right now. For all intents and purposes, Megumi was everything she had been looking in her bride-to-be. She had the looks, the brains, the family connections â if Kaoru had written a list of an ideal wife for the Crown Prince to have, Megumi would have met all her standards with ease.
And yet, she couldnât help but to feel something was missing here.
âWhat about you, Miss Megumi?â Kaoru ventured out to ask, drawing a charming smile to her lips. âWhat is that piques your interest? You must have heard more than you ever wanted to know about my hobbies and likes by now.â
âOh, it has been a pleasure listening to you,â Megumi answered, her eyes flickering with a hint of surprise. But smoothly, she continued on, never once wavering on the elaborate steps they were dancing. âAs what comes to me, I enjoy reading in my spare time.â
Finally! Some personality at last! âOh?â Kaoru smiled encouragingly, âWhat subjects do you enjoy?â
Megumi tensed slightly, a reaction so subtle Kaoru wouldnât have caught it if she had not been holding to her waist.
âSometimes I like reading the popular plays.â Megumi demurred, looking aside for the briefest of moments. It was an obvious signal. This was something Megumi didnât wish to talk about, but Kaoruâs curiosity was piqued.
âWho wouldnât? Fantastic tales are perfect for quiet evenings.â Kaoru answered easily and then, quite rudely â decided to inquire. âBut such a light-hearted topic cannot be where your heart lies. Please, no need to hesitate on my account. Iâd like to get know you better.â
âAh,â Megumi murmured. âWell, in that caseâŚâ She frowned and met Kaoruâs eyes directly. âI study medicine. Was I a man, I would be an acknowledged doctor by now â but I am not, so Iâm just a discreet healer for my lord fatherâs ailments and other, ah, sensitive illnesses that my family or our familyâs allies may have fallen ill with.â
âThatâs,â Kaoru paused, deeply shocked by the admission. Women were forbidden from studying sciences or seeking out an acclaimed profession in those fields. It was something Kaoruâs father had been trying to change for over a decade now, but even if there had been no public trial against a woman healer or physicist in years, it was still very much a taboo subject, especially for a noble lady. For Megumi to admit to such a thing, it was something that could easily destroy her reputation.
Kaoru swallowed, one, twice, then started again. âI understand. My lips are sealed, my lady.â
âThank you,â Megumi inclined her head. âIâd appreciate your discretion.â
Feeling somewhat uncomfortable, Kaoru looked aside but continued to lead their dance in silence. It wasnât that she held Megumiâs admission against her. She didnât. No, if anything â learning this detail made Kaoru respect Megumi even more. She truly was an intelligent and brave woman who would have no trouble playing the games the court nobles lived and breathed.
But the thing was; the one reason why Kaoru had never seriously entertained the thought of becoming publicly known as Princess Kaoru was that as a man she didnât need to deal with the archaic bullshit women of her caste had to endure. All her life, she had been able to circumvent the trouble that Megumi had faced head-on. So how could she respond to a statement like that? How could she meet the eyes of a woman who had the balls to do something she had always avoided?
The dance ended, the orchestra starting up another, far more light-hearted tempo. However, Kaoru didnât have the heart for another dance, not right now.
She braved a smile, âperhaps a drink, my lady?â
âPlease,â Megumi demurred, eyeing her intently â like she was trying to figure out why Kaoru had reacted as she had.
A shiver raced down Kaoruâs spine and for a moment, she felt an awkward need to check that her chest binder and codpiece were in place, that she hadnât inadvertently given away her secret. A stupid, irrational fear. Nothing of the sort could happen; she knew it all too well. Kaoru straightened to her full height of five feet one, looked up to Megumiâs eyes, eerily aware how high she had to look up and offered her arm to her.
Megumi took it easily and allowed her to be led.
Usually having a partner that was taller than her wasnât something Kaoru disdained. No, Kaoru quite liked the thrill of escorting tall ladies. Perhaps it was because she was not a man, who had to suffer from a manâs ego? For her, the identity of a prince was just a game she had chosen to play. An elaborate act that allowed her freedoms her true gender never would. So whenever people made jokes about her lack of height, how she was always the shortest among her male friends â it never mattered to her.
But now, she couldnât help but feel awkward, like she was somehow ill at the place, a puppet dancing out choreography that she didnât quite like.
The feeling was blatantly ridiculous.
She was the Crown Prince of the Kingdoms of Yamato and Ezzo. She needed to have a wife. Miss Megumi Shishio fit to all the standards she could name and more, she was someone Kaoru could easily come to respect. But why, why did she feel like she was settling for something less than perfect?
What else could there be to a marriage than finding a partner that fulfilled your needs?
Megumi would be perfect socially, politically â hell, she was also attractive! Kaoru knew herself well enough that in a right mood, with little prompting, she would have no trouble at all partaking acts between lovers with a woman like Megumi. Should Megumi be interested in such things, of course.
So what was she missing here?
Infatuation?
The thought brought a thinly veiled grimace to Kaoruâs lips, and she grabbed two glasses of champagne from the waiterâs tray, offering the other one for Miss Megumi.
Megumi accepted it coolly, her dark gaze lingering on Kaoruâs face, studying her.
âFor your beauty,â Kaoru toasted, flirting a little just to distract herself from her irrelevant thoughts.
Megumi raised her brow but toasted as well. âFor luck.â
The champagne was dry on Kaoruâs tongue; dry and far too sweet and altogether unappealing. She chucked it down nevertheless. What was with her tonight? Sure, her father had been preaching about the virtues of marrying someone you could love for quite some time, but how could she even consider doing that? She was the Crown Prince. Her marriage would have consequences for the well-being and future of her country, no matter how she tried to spin it.
Letting her heart rule in a matter like this, it would be irresponsible and dangerous. Stupid. Besides, her heart had the worst taste ever! All her teenage crushes had been so blatantly unsuitable that it wasnât even funny. Her first crush, at the tender age of thirteen, had been a stable boy with an easy smile and silly jokes. Gods, the boy would have pissed himself if he realized Prince was going riding every day and hanging around the stables just to sneak a peek at him in work!
Or what about that charming maid, who had sneaked sweets from the kitchens to her younger sisters waiting at the gates? The court ladies would have eaten her alive had Kaoru dared to show any outward interest towards her! As it was, having sixteen-year-old Prince stumbling across her every other day, and inquiring after her days had been enough to bring the poor girl to the point of a nervous breakdown!
No, the fact was that Kaoru didnât have the option of following her heart, no less trusting it to make any reasonable choices.
The importance of infatuation and love were severely overrated, anyways. One could have a perfectly good marriage with a partner chosen with reason and logic. The important emotions: trust, loyalty, and caring were cultivated over time, like building a relationship from the ground up into something magnificent.
A soft gasp from her side startled Kaoru.
Megumi was looking over Kaoruâs shoulder, towards the staircase, a victorious smile rising to her lips. âYou really made it,â she whispered, âKenshin.â
Her date wasnât the only one looking that way, either. Quite a few heads had turned to watch at â was that Hiko Seijuurou the 13th?
And on his armâŚ
Kaoru paused to stare at a stunning, red-haired young lady.
Even from that first glance, Kaoru could tell she had never seen that young lady before. She would have remembered her. That long red-hair was bright like a silk spun of scarlet fire and her pale skin shone in stark contrast to it. Soulful eyes, lush lips, high cheekbones and sharp chin; even at the distance her face was memorable and strikingly beautiful, but in a way that was unapologetically different from the classical idea of beauty.
The same could be said about her dress.
Eye-catching and bright, the magenta evening gown with white and pink flower decorations at the bosom stood out of the mass with ease. Among hundreds of dresses tailored in Kaoruâs favorite colors; all the shades of blue from navy, indigo to turquoise, and few done in green or yellow â that bright magenta stood out and shone with a personality that was unique to its wearer.
Who would have thought a redhead could wear such a bright shade of pink and make it look good?
And Kaoru didnât even like pink.
âMy apologies,â said Megumi and curtseyed to her. âCould we continue our discussion later? Iâm afraid I have an important matter to attend to.â
Kaoru blinked in surprise. âOf course, if thatâs what my lady wishes.â
Megumi inclined her head and ventured off towards the lady in pink with a purpose in her steps.
It took several seconds before it dawned on Kaoru that she had been ditched. For the first time in her life, she had been ditched by a woman. Kaoru couldnât help but grin ruefully, âBallsy lady, indeed.â Then she glanced down at her champagne glass, grimaced and left it to the side table. At a polite distance, many young women were eyeing her with interest, few of them whispering to their escorts â obviously wondering should they try to catch her eye now that she was by all appearances alone again.
It would be the smart thing to do; to chat with a few of them, maybe take one or two for a spin on the dance floor. It would soothe some bruised egos and smooth down the awkwardness, make a pretense that everything was going as planned.
If she were to follow after Megumi now⌠it would look desperate. Like Megumi had caught her attention, shaken her and now Kaoru was running after her like a stray dog following the hand that fed it.
Not an inspiring comparison, that.
Or particularly accurate, for that matter.
But damn if she wasnât interested in what was going on between Hiko Seijuurou the 13th, Miss Megumi Shishio and that pretty redhead in pink. Undoubtedly, it was somehow connected to the letter she had seen Megumi handing out to Hiko.
Choices, choices⌠Kaoru frowned.
She shook her head and let out a soft laugh. Since when had she needed to hesitate about going to talk with someone? She was the Crown Prince and this was her ball. She could approach whoever she wanted!
A self-confident swagger in her steps, Kaoru headed towards the mystery trio.
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âYou made it,â Megumi said breathlessly, her face shining with joy. She clasped Kenshinâs hands, âI am so happy for you!â
âOro?â Kenshin blurted, too startled for words. Miss Megumi had never been the most expressive of women, so for her to show her emotions like this, it meantâŚ
âSo it was a favor, but not for me,â Hiko remarked. âNow, it all makes sense. Kenshin, I gather Miss Shishio is a friend of yours?â
âY-yes,â Kenshin stammered. âThatâs right, so it is.â
Miss Megumi smiled, âIt is alright, no need to be so alarmed.â Then, she turned to face Hiko. âYes, I am a friend and an ally to Kenshin, even if I donât always have an opportunity to show it. As you might understand, my situation is dependent on my Lady motherâs and Lord fatherâs good opinion.â
âUnderstandable,â Hiko inclined his head, just an inch â as was appropriate for a highborn lord to a lady of lower rank. âI must give you my gratitude, for your help and friendship⌠and for the letter.â
A letter? Just what has Miss Megumi done this time? Kenshin blinked, not quite following the conversation.
âSave your gratitude,â Miss Megumi harrumphed. âJust talk with your daughter, alright? You two already lost over a decade because of your famed stubbornness. Instead of empty gratitude or some arcane favor, Iâd much prefer you to ensure Kenshin has the opportunities she deserves, and wouldnât need to clean and keep other peopleâs house for her living.â
A shiver of alarm raced down Kenshinâs spine. The way Miss Megumi was talking to Hiko⌠oh god, this couldnât end well!
Hikoâs brows furrowed in consideration, but then, instead of the storm Kenshin had been bracing for, he smirked. âI appreciate the advice. Though Iâd be careful if I were you, Miss Shishio â if you continue with such a fierce attitude, you might end up enticing an entirely wrong man than the one you are hunting.â
Miss Megumi raised her brow, âOh?â
That's⌠those two, what are they saying? Kenshin stared, feeling faint.
Before the situation could escalate further, a light, energetic voice cut through the strange pressure enveloping their party. âLord Seijuurou, I wasnât expecting to see you here, least of all in such a pretty company. And Miss Shishio, I hope I am not intruding upon your conversation.â
Miss Megumiâs smile grew tight for a briefest of moments before she turned around and curtseyed elegantly. âPrince Kaoru, itâs a pleasure.â
âŚ.Prince Kaoru? Did they mean that the Crown Prince of all Yamato and Ezzo was talking to them? Kenshin grew stiff, before dropping to a deep curtsey, her gaze fixed on the floor. She was a shade too late for a greeting according to proper etiquette, but hopefully, no one noticed.
In front of her, she could see the leather of the Princeâs heeled boots shining like a mirror, so bright that Kenshin could see her own reflection from them.
âAnd who is this?â That light voice asked. âI canât remember seeing you before, ladyâŚ?â
Hiko tugged at Kenshinâs arm, prompting her to straighten and meet the startling blue eyes of the Crown Prince for the first time.
He was short and lean, just like the rumors had painted him to be â and somewhat shorter than Kenshin, though how much of that height difference was in the heels Kenshin wore, was impossible to say.
However, despite hearing people to gossip about the Prince often enough, hearing all about his charming manners, affable nature and his good looks, what Kenshin hadnât quite realized was how young the Prince was. Not exactly a youngster, but a young adult of eighteen years. She didnât know why she was so surprised. Every citizen was aware of the Princeâs age. There had been a great nation-wide party two years ago when the Prince had reached his adulthood.
But eighteen years old⌠it had been eleven years, almost a lifetime ago when Kenshin had been the Princeâs age. She had been homeless then, desperately searching for respectable work and trying to find ways to disguise the small tells that gave away her bodyâs wrongness to the casual observer.
âPrince Kaoru, how good of you to show up. I guess I havenât ever mentioned my daughter to you, have I?â Hikoâs firm voice pulled Kenshin out of her thoughts. âThis is my daughter, Lady Seijuurou Kenshin.â
Prince Kaoruâs eyes widened slightly, the only sign of his surprise. âIâm pleased to meet you, Lady Seijuurou,â He said, bowing slightly, like a true gentleman.
Kenshin wavered on her feet, overwhelmed â that name! Did Hiko just give this one his familyâs name? And publicly acknowledge this one as his daughter to the second highest power in the kingdom? â before rushing for another curtsey. âThis one is pleased to meet you, Prince Kamiya.â
âThe pleasure is all mine.â The prince smiled, meeting Kenshinâs eyes and winked.
âT-thank you, sir,â Kenshin managed, before glancing aside, the heat creeping to her cheeks. Damnit! This was far from the first time a man decided to flirt with her, so why was she reacting like this to it? She hadnât ever been interested in men! And Prince Kaoru, the most sought-after bachelor in the whole country, was so unsuitable a practice partner that it wasnât even funny!
âSuch a pleasant surprise,â The prince said, before clearing his throat. âLord Seijuurou, my Lord Father and I are not generally speaking averse to surprises, at least when they are as pleasant as this, but I must admit to curiosity. How come I have never heard of you having a daughter before?â
Kenshin stiffened, panic curling at the pit of her stomach as she turned to Hiko. They had been so busy earlier, rushing from one place to the next, trying to find a gown and shoes that fit her, then get her hair and makeup done⌠they hadnât gotten a chance to discuss the practicalities, to agree on a socially acceptable story that would explain why a lord like Hiko with a well-known reputation as a bachelor could suddenly have a daughter.
Worse, to lie to the member of the royal family was akin to treason! Oh god, should she say something? Make a distraction? Anything to keep Hiko from needing to answer?
Even Miss Megumiâs smile had grown forced.
âIsnât it obvious?â Hiko just scoffed. âI adopted her.â
Oh⌠Kenshin blinked.
âSo I see,â The Prince let a little laugh. âAnd when did this auspicious event happen, if I may ask? I think it might be good for me to mention the facts to my Lord father before any busybody springs a little surprise to him in a potentially awkward way.â
âThat would be the best, I think.â Hiko agreed blandly. âAnd to be clear, I adopted my child at seven years old. If someone asks, the papers can be found in Kyoto, in official Yamato clan registries. I simply havenât publicly spoken out loud about my family matters in Ezzo. You see, my position is not without its risks, not when I need to work with both Yamatoan and Ezzo nobility.â
That sounded particularly dodgy to Kenshinâs ears, but Prince Kaoruâs eyes grew serious and he nodded. âIâll let my father know that.â
Hiko inclined his head, âIâm willing to discuss any concerns he might have in person.â
While Kenshin had never been the best at reading such byplay, it almost seemed like⌠just how close was Hiko to the King and the Crown Prince, really?
Even Miss Megumi was watching the interaction with interest, so much so that she didnât notice a familiar figure approaching them with a stormy expression. No, that dubious honor went to Kenshin alone.
Lady Yumiâs eyes were fixated on Kenshin, and the anger in them was palatable.
Chills raced down Kenshinâs skin, and she looked down, curtseying as deep as she dared, without letting the Prince, or rest of the people around them to realize just how much of an intruder she was to their grand ball. Lady Yumi was the last person she had wanted to see tonight, but of course, the Lady wouldnât have wandered far away from her prized daughter.
âLady Shishio,â Kenshin said holding that deep curtsey as she prayed that this wouldnât turn to a scene, âHow are you tonight?â
Lady Yumi didnât answer her, but walked past her and curtseyed promptly. âPrince Kaoru, Lord Seijuurou â What a delight! I hope I am not intruding upon your conversation?â
âNo, by all means,â Princeâs voice answered. âWe were just exchanging pleasantries.â
Kenshin closed her eyes, and exhaled softly, ashamed of her irrational fears. Lady Yumi was a master of political intrigue. She wouldnât cause a scene, no matter how furious she was â at least, not if it wouldnât serve her own agenda.
And true it was: Lady Yumi was smiling gently, her anger expertly masked as her eyes fixated on the Crown Prince. âAn intriguing conversation to be sure,â she was saying. âHowever, I canât help but notice that the dance floor is awaiting the star of the night.â
Prince Kaoru glanced over his shoulder.
Albeit the music was playing, none one was dancing. No, the guests had moved to the sidelines, leaving the dance floor empty. Most people were eyeing their party, some discreetly, some less so.
âAh,â Prince Kaoru said, reaching to rub his neck. âI guess I should get back to it.â
âIf you would, my Prince,â Lady Yumi curtseyed again. âPerhaps my Prince wouldnât mind taking my daughter, Miss Megumi on another spin? You two looked marvelous together.â
âThank you for your kind words, Lady Shishio,â the Prince said, âHowever, a prince must aim to be fair â I couldnât possibly dance three dances in a row with the same lady.â He smiled, and then held out his hand to Kenshin, âMy lady Seijuurou, perhaps you wouldnât mind a dance?â
âOro?â Kenshin gaped, staring at the Prince outreached hand.
Is t-the prince asking one to dance? But this one is not⌠âI⌠I ah, couldnât possibly-â
âDo forgive my daughter for her lack of manners,â Hikoâs voice cut through her attempt to decline. âItâs been a while since she has been to an event like this. Go on, Kenshin â let the Prince accompany you for a dance. You still remember the dances your tutor taught you, donât you?â
Kenshin gulped. Holy hell, now she had no way of turning down the invitation, not without causing a scene herself! She took a deep breath, bobbed a curtsey, then clasped the Princeâs outreached hand and allowed him to lead her to the empty dance floor.
The stares aimed at her felt like hundreds of needles being driven to her back. Panic churned in her gut, like snakes curling tight and twisting to their own tune.
Kenshin felt sick.
What if people realized what she was? That the esteemed Crown Prince Kamiya Kaoru wasnât escorting a proper woman, but a freak in a dress and high heels? Oh gods, she never should have agreed to come!
The Prince bowed and gave a whisper of a kiss to the back of her hand. âMy lady, please relax â itâs just a simple waltz. Iâll guide you through it.â
âAa,â Kenshin managed weakly.
The Prince straightened, and with a charming smile pulled her close, to a proper dancing pose.
Now, Kenshin was not new to dancing. How could she be? It might have been over a decade since she had last danced ballroom, but she had been adopted at a young age to a high ranking noble family and like most youths of her former caste, her education had included extensive dancing lessons.
The difference was, of course, that her dance lessons had been tailored to teach her to lead.
Kenshin struggled to hold back a cringe, and lifted her hand to the Princeâs shoulder, forcing herself to focus. It might have been ages, but she should be able to manage a simple waltz, shouldnât she?
âThere we go,â the Prince smiled at her. âNow, letâs take this slowly, shall we?â
âI⌠um, yes. This one would appreciate a slow start, that she would.â
The Prince took a step and another forward, his hand firm at Kenshinâs waist. It felt weird, to start with a backward step, but the Princeâs guidance was easy enough to follow, even for such an inexperienced follower as Kenshin.
âAnd now, a side step,â The Prince said, leading them with confidence. âAnd then we repeat the same, but backward. Now, this isnât so bad, is it?â
âNo,â Kenshin agreed. âThank you, for your understanding.â
âItâs my pleasure,â The Prince said, continuing the classic sway of the waltz â leading them to step by step closer to the middle. âNow, if you donât mind my curiosity, but the way you speak â you come from Yamato, do you not?â
Kenshin gave up staring at her feet like an absolute beginner and met the Princeâs curious gaze. âUm, itâs been a long time, but yes â this one thinks she was born in south-western Yamato, that she was.â
âYou think?â Prince Kaoru raised his brow.
Kenshin looked aside, feeling a tad uncomfortable. She didnât like talking about herself, but she couldnât lie to the Crown Prince, now could she? âThis one doesnât remember her childhood very well,â She finally said, tried to pass it off. âOneâs family was struck down by an epidemic plaguing the south at the time and one was weak and sickly for months, even after Hiko adopted this one.â
âIâm sorry to hear that,â The Prince said. âI hope you accept my condolences, even at this late date.â
The sincerity in the Princeâs voice â it felt genuine. Kenshin paused, not quite sure how to answer. âI⌠thank you,â she finally said.
âThough I must admit to befuddlement â because of my status, I have studied quite a bit of Yamatoan history and the matters of the state, and to my understanding, there havenât been droughts or epidemics that typically follow them in the south-west since the war⌠And it has been over two decades since Yamato became part of my lord fatherâs kingdom.â
âThatâs true,â Kenshin allowed with notable hesitance, wavering the steps of the dance just a bit, before countering the roundabout question with one of her own. âWhat is that my Prince wishes to know then? Is there something wrong about this oneâs heritage?â
âNo, nothing of the sort! Quite the contrary! I was just being nosy. My apologies, my lady,â The Prince hurried to assure her, his cheeks reddening with embarrassment. âItâs just, I canât quite place your age, thatâs all.â
âOro?â Kenshin blinked, âYou were trying to ask how old this one is?â
If possible, the Princeâs blush became deeper and he cleared his throat awkwardly. âItâs quite rude of me to ask, isnât it? Ah, please â forget my breach in decorum. Of course, these things are not something a gentleman should ever ask from a lady.â
That blush on his cheeks, how his blue eyes avoided her gaze, it was strangely charming how he blustered. Kenshin couldnât quite help the smile that tugged her lips. âIt is rude to ask, so it is â but only this once, one doesnât mind answering you. This one is now twenty-nine, that she is.â
The Princeâs eyes widened almost comically, âTwenty-nine? But you look like you are about my age, in your early twenties at the tops!â
Flattered, Kenshin glanced aside, feeling a bit better about her looks. Perhaps the hard years of work, first as a cook in a roadside tavern, then as a seamstress to a small village, then a cleaning lady and finally as a maid werenât as obvious as she had thought?
In the background, the music quieted and then changed to a more lively melody.
Kenshin gathered her poise and curtseyed, âThank you for the dance, Prince Kamiya.â
However, the Prince didnât let go of her hand.
âMy Lady Seijuurou, I⌠I must apologize for my terrible manners. Iâve made you uncomfortable with my blundering.â The Prince offered her a deep bow, a deeper bow than a man of his rank should ever bow to a woman. He turned his hand palm up, lessening his clasp on her hand to only a touch like he was holding a small bird in his palm. âPlease, allow me to redeem my honor and offer you another dance. Iâll do better, I promise.â
Again, that sincerity in his voice⌠Kenshin paused, not quite sure how to react.
Still, the Prince bowed â his hand still, waiting for her choice.
Kenshin bit on the inside of her cheek, before glancing at the sidelines. Hiko had retreated to the table where champagne was being served. Some distance away, Lady Yumi was bickering with Miss Megumi.
Guilt twisted at her stomach. Miss Megumi had done nothing wrong, but undoubtedly she had to endure the anger Kenshinâs actions had spurred. Kenshin knew what she should do. She should say no to the Princeâs invitation and walk away from this mess. And if the Prince followed, she should try to guide his gaze to notice Miss Megumi. Â
Thatâs what a freak like she was expected to do.
âLady Seijuurou,â the Prince glanced up, his gaze troubled. âPlease, allow me to repay my earlier blundering to you.â
But the Prince, there was something about him, something strange and enthralling that Kenshin couldnât quite put her finger to. She knew it was a bad choice. She knew it better than anyone because even if the interest in Princeâs gaze was genuine, there was no way this could end well. He was the Crown Prince of the kingdoms of Yamato and Ezzo, a man with the world on his palm â and she, even had her body been right â she had been born in a small hut with a packed mud floor in the middle drought, starvation, and epidemics that followed it.
The gap between their origins was like the night and day.
Too large a gap to bridge together, she knew.
And yet⌠she couldnât bring herself to say no. Kenshin bobbed a curtsey and clasped the Princeâs hand. âOne more dance.â
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So far Kaoru had concluded two things about Lady Seijuurou.
One; she had the looks of a woman who could walk into a room and steal everyoneâs attention without even trying.
Two; she had been lying about not knowing how to dance.
Actually, everything about Lady Seijuurou seemed to be shrouded in mystery. For as soon as Kaoru thought she had figured Lady Seijuurou out, she did something that completely defied Kaoruâs expectations.
Like the issue with dancing. Kaoru had assumed Lady Seijuurouâs hesitance about accepting her invitation was because she didnât know how to dance. Because of this, Kaoru had intended to lead her through the most basic dance she knew, step by step. However, as soon as they had gotten started, Lady Seijuurou had relaxed and followed Kaoruâs lead with the ease of someone who had danced the steps thousand times.
Even more mysterious, when Kaoru had blundered with their conversation and faltered in her steps, Lady Seijuurou hadnât â instead, she had taken the lead from Kaoru and continued on as nothing had happened.
So quite understandably, Kaoruâs interest was piqued. Perhaps, even too much. She glanced aside, the heat lingering on her cheeks at the memory of her earlier rude questions.
However, even as embarrassing as it was to inquire about a womanâs heritage and age, it was starting to become more and more obvious that Kaoru had found a woman who could be even more suitable to her needs than Lady Megumi Shishio.
As a daughter of Hiko Seijuurou the 13th, Lady Seijuurou Kenshin had the status only very few women in the kingdom could match. Even better, by her charming accent and her own words, she was from Yamatoan origin â which could help in King Kamiyaâs long-term goal of acclimatizing the annexed Yamato to the Kingdom of Ezzo. Her status as an adopted daughter was not an issue. Even had she been born to a lower-ranked countryside lordâs family, they could easily spin her rise to a rank as a true feminine success story.
The fact that Lady Seijuurou had been orphaned at a young age also meant that there would be no uncomfortable questions of her loyalty in the long run. Not like with most Yamatoan nobles. Well, other than to Hiko, and Hiko had been Kaoruâs fatherâs friend as long as she could remember.
Lastly⌠as trivial detail as it was, it certainly didnât hurt that Lady Seijuurou was a beautiful woman.
Kaoru looked up, only to see Lady Seijuurou glancing at the sidelines, where they had left the Shishio women.
Ah. Well, sheâs only a good match if you can catch her interest. Kaoru reminded herself and then, not letting herself to be deterred by her partnersâ wandering attention, she drew an inviting smile to her lips, âPerhaps my lady would like to lead for a while?â
âOro?â Lady Seijuurou startled, her back growing stiff with tension. âWhatever you mean?â She asked, trying to misdirect.
Shame that Kaoru wasnât so easily deterred. She grinned, relaxing her guiding hold on Lady Seijuurouâs waist, âDonât think that I havenât noticed that my lady is an expert dancer. If youâd prefer to lead, I donât mind following.â
However, instead of the flattered glance she expected, Lady Seijuurou blanched white as a sheet and her gaze dropped to her feet, a notable uncertainty entering her motions. âT-this, ah⌠I, really â please, my Prince â no.â
âWhy not?â Kaoru tilted her head to a side, honestly baffled. âItâs obvious that you are more familiar at leading. I genuinely donât mind if thatâs something youâd rather do.â
ââŚstill, no.â Lady Seijuurou said, stiff as a board. âItâs⌠um, one did originally learn to dance in a leading role, but itâs not proper for a woman, that itâs not. And really, this one would much rather learn to be better at following, that one would.â
âOh. Well, if thatâs the case.â Kaoru paused in consideration, âOr perhaps, I could teach you?â
âOro?â
Again that adorable sound! Kaoru tightened her hold, pulling Lady Seijuurou even closer to herself. âYou see, if we are a bit closer to each other, you can more easily follow on my cues and wouldnât so easily seek to take my lead by reflex.â
âUm,â Lady Seijuurou hesitated, her violet eyes huge. âErr, well, if you think that will help?â
âJust trust me,â Kaoru grinned. âItâs a bit unorthodox, but this should work. I mean, itâs a bit similar than the way my father sometimes helped me with my sword moves. He used to hold my hand and physically adjust my pose during the kata.â
âOh,â Lady Seijuurou blinked and then agreed almost shyly. âHiko used to do that, too, when he taught this one. It does help sometimes, to have someone else adjust your pose instead of trying to copy their example.â
The trace of redness on Lady Seijuurouâs cheeks drew Kaoruâs gaze to a hint of a freckle on her nose, and on her cheekbones. Beautiful. Utterly beautiful. Kaoru swallowed dryly and tore her attention to the present. âUh⌠what did you say? Lord Seijuurou taught you? Wait â I thought he didnât dance? At least, thatâs what he has always claimed when I tried to get him to socialize!â
ââŚthis one has never seen him dance, either.â
âOh,â Kaoru paused. âSo what was it then, what he taught you? If you donât mind me asking?â
Lady Seijuurou hesitated, âUm â swordsmanship.â
Now, it was Kaoruâs turn to stare. âLord Hiko Seijuurou the 13th taught you his swordâs style? The Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu, the famed sword style that has been passed down on inside his family line since the era of civil wars?â
âYes?â Lady Seijuurou asked, her gaze uncertain. âItâs why he first decided to adopt this one, or so this one thinks.â
âThatâsâŚâ Kaoru paused. âThatâs pretty remarkable.â
And it really was, because what she had heard of Lord Seijuurouâs exploits during the war, he was widely rumored to be one of the best swordsmen in the country. A reputation that was still uncontested, because no challenger had managed to convince him to partake in a duel after the war, not even a friendly match among the peers.
Now, Kaoru didnât think she was particularly vain, or hungry for an achievement â but learning that there was another woman who enjoyed swordsmanship and had skills in such a style? It was too good a lure to pass up. After all, Kaoru took great pride in having learned her fatherâs sword style, the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu. As an entirely new style her father had developed after the war, it was somewhat controversial in approach, but she would love to test her skill against a legacy as prominent as the Seijuurouâs Hiten Mitsurugi.
Besides, Kaoru loved the art of the sword. It was that simple. So, she ventured out to suggest, âPerhaps my lady Seijuurou wouldnât mind a friendly match at some point?â
âNo. Thank you.â
Errr⌠what? Kaoru blinked. âNo â to a friendly duel? Or you donât want to meet me again?â
âNo,â Lady Seijuurou said, then looked aside in haste, avoiding her gaze. âUm, thatâs to say â this one doesnât duel, that one doesnât. That was one of the ruleâs Hiko was very adamant about. No fighting for a show, or for oneâs own gain. Besides, this one hasnât had a chance to train in years. It wouldnât be much of a match.â
âI see,â Kaoru said. âWell, with your permission â could I bring up to him the possibility of a private spar between the two of us? No audience, and only to extend youâd be comfortable with, of course! I mean, I donât often get the meet women so deeply after my own heart and I would definitely like to meet you again.â
âOro?â Lady Seijuurou looked up. âYouâd like to â but me? But I, Iâm not⌠and what about Miss Megumi?â
âWhat about her?â Kaoru tilted her head, honestly baffled. Why was Lady Seijuurou so spooked? Didnât she realize how deeply she had captivated Kaoruâs attention in just two dances?
When the silence dragged on, Lady Seijuurou rushed to explain, âYou are looking for a woman who could become a princess, are you not? Surely you have noticed that Miss Megumi would be perfect for that? She has the family connections, she is beautiful, elegant and smart andââ
âSo are you,â Kaoru countered. âLook around us. Who is everyone looking at?â
Lady Seijuurou froze, before glancing over her shoulder â and Kaoru let go of her waist, turning the motion into a controlled spin, letting Lady Seijuurou see the crowd of hundreds, all of them watching at them, the only pair at the dance floor.
âYou see, my lady,â Kaoru grinned and pulled her back to her arms, âYou are the star of the night. Not only did you walk in on the esteemed Lord Hiko Seijuurou the 13thâs arm, but within minutes of your arrival, you had me utterly captivated. I assure you, there is no one in this room who doesnât think you are a force to be reckoned with in your own right.â
âOh.â
âSo please, my lady â allow yourself to enjoy the moment.â Kaoru smiled. âAnd between the two of us, I honestly canât remember when I have last enjoyed a dance as much as right now, and thatâs all because of you.â
âIâŚâ Lady Seijuurou started. âUm, thank you? Prince Kamiya.â
âPlease, call me by my name.â Kaoru said easily, and dared to extend Lady Seijuurou to a classic dip, âAll my friends do.â
âBut we just met?â Lady Seijuurou said, looking up from her dipped pose.
Awh, hell â not only was she a looker, Lady Seijuurou was damn adorable too.
âTime is relative,â Kaoru grinned, and pulled her up, enjoying how easy it was. It really made all the difference to dance with someone who about her own size, instead of a head taller. âHavenât you noticed how you can know some people for ages and still not like them for a bit, and with some, you just instantly enjoy their company?â
In the background, the orchestra changed to a quicker tempo and Kaoru decided to take it up a notch â and this time Lady Seijuurou didnât hesitate anymore, just followed her lead.
A quick learner too! Kaoru noted with delight and sent her partner to another spin.
Lady Seijuurou parted, spinning elegantly, her pink evening gown flaring to its full width around her, a flower in full bloom â and then, at the end of her armâs reach, she paused, turning to look at Kaoru, her lips slightly parted, and Kaoruâs knees wavered at the sight.
Gods, she is beautiful.
Holding out her hand, Kaoru waited â and Lady Seijuurou spun back, her right hand clasping Kaoruâs and her left hand finding itsâ place at Kaoruâs shoulder.
So natural, so easy â itâs almost like we were made to each other. Kaoru grinned in exhilaration. âAre you sure you are new to following? Because you follow like a dream, my lady Seijuurou.â
The corners of her lips twitched, and then finally, the miracle happened: Lady Seijuurou smiled. It was an open, honest smile â a woman flattered, relaxed and enjoying the moment.
âItâs all thanks to your teaching, Prince Kaoru.â Lady Seijuurou demurred, âIt has been years since this one has last had a chance to dance. And even then, it was a common tavern dance, not ballroom, so it was.â
A tavern dance? Just where had Lord Seijuurou hidden away his prized daughter for all these years that she hadnât had a chance to dance anything finer?
âAnd please, Prince Kaoru,â Lady Seijuurou continued, pulling Kaoru from her thoughts. âSince you asked this one to address you with your given name, perhaps you could return the favor? Seijuurou is this oneâs lord fatherâs name. This one has always been just Kenshin.â
âOf course, Lady Kenshin,â Kaoru agreed on the spot, pleased by the development.
The blush on Lady Kenshinâs face grew a shade deeper, but she didnât tense up anymore.
Very good, indeed, thought Kaoru.
She had been waiting for a while Lady Kenshin to relax enough to treat her like they were on more equal grounds.
After all, Kaoru didnât want a partner that treated her like the Prince around the clock. That would get tedious and quickly. No, what she had been looking for from the start was a woman who she could trust, who she could lean on when need be, and be leaned on in turn â in short, someone who could become the Princes, and later on the Queen, to Kingdoms of Ezzo and Yamato needed. Â
Princess Kenshin â that has a nice ring to it, Kaoru decided.
Amused, Kaoru couldnât help but note that like her own, Lady Kenshinâs name had several spelling variations, including many popular boysâ names. The first syllable was particularly tricky because it was often written with the character âswordâ â a much too aggressive a name for a woman, especially during these peaceful times.
Actually, now that she thought about it, Kaoru could come up with only one way of spelling that she personally would use for a girlâs name â devotion.
Iâm starting to see why people comment on Lord Seijuurouâs skill with words. Kaoru thought with helpless abandon. He certainly picked the perfect name for his daughter. I bet no one who meets her will be able to look asideâŚ
Being so close, Kaoru could feel Lady Kenshinâs lean figure against her body, feel her warm breath tickling the side of Kaoruâs neck. A bead of perspiration was running down her cheek, to her jaw, falling to her neck, trickling down to-toâ
Kaoru took a swallow, feeling light-headed out of a sudden. She relinquished her hold on Lady Kenshinâs right hand and tugged at her neck scarf, pulling it loose. Why had she decided to wear high neck scarves again? They were so damn constricting when one wanted to anything physical than just walking!
âAre you alright, Prince Kaoru?â Lady Kenshin asked, a genuine concern flashing in her eyes.
âYes, yes âof course,â Kaoru said and reached for her hand again. She didnât want to quit dancing with her, not yet, not ever. âWe just got started, didnât we?â
âBut you...â Lady Kenshin hesitated, her eyes trailing Kaoruâs face, falling lower, to her neckâŚ
And suddenly, Kaoru remembered why she wore high neck scarves. The Adamâs apple. The lack of it was among the more subtle tells of her true gender, not something that most people would pay any attention to, but Kaoru had always been careful and had used a lot of money and ingenuity to keep up her guise as a male.
Tailored coats to accent her shoulders, expertly made chest binders to press her breast akin to the shape of masculine pectorals, a habit of wearing high neck scarves and chalking it up as a personal preference, her insistence to wear codpieces âto protect the family jewelsâ⌠No matter how eccentric, she had always been meticulous, no matter the occasion or company she kept.
At least, until now.
Anxiety flared in Kaoruâs gut, the scenarios rushing through her mind â from bad, to worse to the disaster. No, she couldnât think like this! There were very few people who would notice such a subtle tell. She still had time, time to make sure she had made the right choice, that Lady Kenshin was the sort of person who could keep a secret, who wouldnât react badly, whose loyalty could be won! All she needed was time. Yes, time!
Kaoru looked aside for aâ aha!
Drawing on all her much-practiced charm, she turned to her partner, âI think you are right, itâs getting a bit hot in here. Perhaps youâd like to join me for a stroll in the gardens? Iâd really like us to continue our conversation.â
The look Lady Kenshin gave her was strangely⌠considering. Not the earlier hesitance or denial, nor the more recent acceptance and delight, but something that was neither. That hooded gaze didnât give away even a hint to what she was thinking, not even when her eyes followed to where Kaoru was pointing, to the dimly lit outer gardens opening from the ballroom patio.
A shiver raced down Kaoruâs spine.
Finally, Lady Kenshin spoke, her voice soft as velvet, âyes, fresh air could do us both good, so it could.â Â
Not entirely sure how to read that, Kaoru braved on a smile. âWell, then â after you, my Lady.â
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The Prince was a woman.
The sole heir of King Kamiya Koshijirou, the Crown Prince of the Kingdoms Yamato and Ezzo, was a woman, or at least he had a womanâs body. And he was trying to disguise it, very much like Kenshin had struggled to disguise her bodyâs wrongness for the last thirteen years.
The sheer enormity of that realization left Kenshin reeling in abject disbelief, but it was the only explanation that made sense.
Was this why Hiko had pushed Kenshin to accept that first dance with the Prince?
Given how close Hiko seemed to be with the Royal family, maybe he had known about this and had been hoping Kenshin to realize the similarities she had with the Prince? Perhaps, that was why Hiko had decided to seek her out in the first place?
Kenshin gnawed on the inside of her cheek, following the Prince through the patioâs glass doors, down to the marble stairs to the gardens.
The moon shone a gentle light of the bushes and flower beds, illuminating the hedge maze to the right.
It was quiet.
Yet, the Prince didnât try to engage her with talk or request her attention. No, he merely escorted her around in silence, like he too had something heavy on his mind.
It was perfectly fine for Kenshin. She wasnât sure she could manage a polite conversation, not when she was so rattled.
After all, she had never met someone like herself.
She had met men, who portrayed the role of a woman in a theater. She had met men, who dressed as women for other menâs pleasure â yet both of those roles were fleeting in nature, taken up for show, pleasure or profit and were easy to discard when it suited them. Very much different than Kenshinâs quiet struggle trying to live a lie that felt like a truth.
However, there was one problem with the theory that the Prince was like herâŚ
Kenshin paused, thinking back to the year when Prince Kaoru had been born. That summer, there had been a great many celebrations all over the country, everyone rejoicing the first sign of stability to King Koshijirouâs rule that the birth of a male heir indicated.
So right from the start, Prince Kaoru had been publicly known as a male.
For Kenshin, it had taken years to reach the understanding of herself and of her gender, to figure out where the feeling of wrongness was coming from. There was no way anyone could have that sense and understanding of themselves straight from the birth, no matter how auspicious their circumstances were.
No, Prince Kaoru, whatever her reasons were, she had to be a woman in disguise.
As far as disguises went, it was next to flawless â as close to it one could get, truly. After all, as Kenshin knew with terrible familiarity, hiding all the physical expressions of oneâs birth gender was next to impossible.
And now that Kenshin knew what look forâŚ
The Princeâs voice was light, soft in pitch like it had never been broken. His hands, no matter how calloused, were slender like a musicianâs â or a womanâs. Hell, even the way his jacket had been sewn, expertly blended seams and layers of padding to create an illusion of width to his shoulders and back⌠it was marvelous craftsmanship, but for a seamstress as skilled as Kenshin was, it was becoming easier and easier to notice what was fabric and what was an illusion, and what it all was used to hide.
âLady Kenshin, whatâs on your mind? I could feel the heaviness of your gaze all the way from here,â The Prince joked, his smile charming as ever, even if a hint of uncertainty lingered in his stormy blue eyes.
âOro? It was nothing, that is wasnât.â Kenshin said and paused, trying to find a way to guide the conversation to safer waters. âAt least, nothing important. Um, one couldnât help but notice how beautiful a night it is.â
âYes,â the prince nodded, his smile growing softer. âIt is rather pretty out here, isnât it?â
Kenshin inclined her head in acceptance, then motioned towards the flower beds. âYou have skilled gardeners here, that you have. Those irises require a deft touch, or they will wilt during a summer like this.â
âNot only skilled with dance and swords,â the Prince raised his brow, âbut you know gardening too, my lady?â
âA little,â Kenshin murmured dismissively. âThe flowers are easier than people, sometimes.â
âThat I donât doubt!â The Prince let out a little laugh and held out her hand. âJoin me? Iâd like to show you something I think youâd enjoy.â
The spark of mischief in the Princeâs eye, it was strangely infectious â Kenshin took her hand, a smile tugging at her lips too.
The Prince grinned in victory and pulled her along, leading her deeper into the garden, to the high walls of the hedge maze â and the pathway that opened there.
âNo better place in the castle grounds, not when one wishes to have some privacy.â The Prince declared. âAnd after an evening of playing nice to all busybodies and their mothers â itâs pretty good to have some peace and quiet, donât you think?â
Kenshin covered her mouth with her hand, barely managing to hold back a most impolite laugh at the statement. It was the Princeâs serious expression, more than his outrageous words that made her laugh. Kenshin shook her head, trying to regain her composure. âSurely it hasnât been that bad? All those beautiful women wearing their best, seeking out to impressââ
âMe?â The Prince huffed. âTrust me, if I had known how crazy this ball would drive everyone, Iâd never agreed to my fatherâs suggestion to arrange this thing.â
Kenshin blinked, âNot that this one had the chance to really meet anyone, but the people out there seemed nice? At least, not something one would call crazy?â
The Prince gave her a look. âImagine, that one day, you decide to wear the same scarf as the day before. Not for any particular reason, but simply because it felt nice and you fancied that it looked good.â
âAa?â Kenshin murmured, not quite following.
The Prince tugged at her indigo scarf. âIt was a blue piece, a bit like this. Nothing special. But a week later, every tailor shop and seamstress in the town had run out of blue fabric.â
âThatâs,â Kenshin hesitated. âThatâs a bit much.â
âIsnât it?â The Prince grinned. âIt was why I was so surprised to see you and your pretty dress, actually. You see, I have never owned a single item in pink â so I thought it a surefire bet that none would pick that color to wear.â
âOro?â
âThough I must admit, you look beautiful in it. So beautiful,â The Prince repeated, his gaze soft andâandâ
Her blush returning full force, Kenshin looked down, smoothing down her dress â a stupid, illogical thing to do, but it gave something for her hands to do lest the Prince see how they wavered. Why was she so shaken? It didnât matter how the Prince looked at her, or that she was a woman and that Kenshin had always watched the women with wistful longing, never daring to even entertain the thought of love and attraction further than a fantasy, an impossible daydream because of what she was.
None of those things mattered.
Shouldnât matter.
Couldnât matter. No, because, if they did, then the way the Prince was looking at her, how she was acting towards her, it would mean that, that⌠But the Prince, she needed a wife. Everyone knew what. And a wife was someone who could help the Prince to continue the Royal lineage, andâŚ
âŚthe Prince was a woman.
Kenshin felt faint.
âLady Kenshin?â
âYes?â Kenshin managed weakly.
âWhat is wrong? The look on your face, have I done something to make you feel awkward again?â
âItâs,â Kenshin struggled to make sense of the words. But the words, they felt so terribly inadequate right now. âNo, itâs nothing you did⌠itâs,â She motioned to herself, trying to find a way to explain without telling too much. âI⌠I was born on a mud packed floor in a simple countryside hut, a third child to a rice farmer â a scrawny, good for nothing spare. No one expected anything of me. Not even Hiko.â
âButââ
âDonât, please â just donât,â Kenshin shook her head. âI, I need to â you need to understand why itâs not â why even if I would allow myself to want, the gap between us, itâs too much. And children, thatâs â one canât even think of that. Itâs too big of a leap.â
Prince Kaoru hesitated, âWhy? No matter your status at birth, you were adopted by a highborn lord. Thatâs a fact. Lord Seijuurou declared it openly. You must know just as well as I do that an adopted child is perfectly valid as an heir, especially if there are no other children to contest the claim.â
Kenshin grimaced, feeling of entrapment becoming stronger.
The Prince stepped closer to her, taking her hand. âLady Kenshin, please â itâs okay.â Â
âBut itâs not,â Kenshin denied.
The Prince sighed, rubbing comforting circles at the back of Kenshinâs hand. âWould it help to know, that just two weeks ago, my lord father said that I shouldnât worry about an heir? That as long as I married for love, he could wait as long as it took? That he even would accept any child as my heir as long as it carried my name?â
âOro?â Kenshin gasped, not quite sure she had heard right. âBut youââ
Prince Kaoru smiled, âMy father has been adamant about my happiness for the longest time, especially because of the things he has needed to demand from me for the good of the kingdom. Not that I mind!â Prince Kaoru laughed. âI love my country. In a way, everything I do, all the choices I make and my entire life â itâs all a service for my people.â
Prince Kaoruâs role, her fatherâs expectations, her long search for a wife, the dots connected at lightning speed in Kenshinâs mind. She looked up, meeting the Princeâs gaze, âBut⌠why this one?â
âYou make me smile,â The Prince said. âAnd you laugh at my terrible jokes.â
âThatâs it?â
The Prince let out a soft laugh. âWell, it doesnât hurt that you are pretty. And adorable. And a good dancer. And smart, letâs not forget smart.â
Kenshin frowned, âNow you are pushing it.â
âAm I?â The Prince dimpled. âWell, what if I like complimenting you? You have the most adorable blush.â
T-that girl! Kenshin looked down, fighting back the heat rising to her cheeks â sadly, it was a wasted effort. Damn it! Like most redheads, she had always blushed far too easily.
Determined to avoid the Princeâs gaze, Kenshin looked past the hedges to the castleâs lights illuminating the night.
That was, of course, when her stomach decided to make its presence known by letting out a loud rumble. Startled, Kenshin pressed her hand to it, suddenly realizing that it had been a quick lunch since she had last eaten anything.
âOh.â
The strangest sound sounded from her side, pulled Kenshin from her thoughts.
The Prince was covering her mouth with her hand, then lost the uphill battle entirely and started giggling like a little girl. âYour face!â She gasped breathlessly. âOh gods, you looked like youâd want to admonish your stomach! Please, have some sympathy for the poor thing, it has been strapped for hours in that corset!â
Kenshin snorted. âThereâs nothing wrong with wearing a corset, that there isnât. Wearing one is not even uncomfortable when one has done it often enough.â
âIâll believe it when I see it,â The Prince quipped back. âBesides, Iâm sure your stomach would disagree with you if it could articulate any clearer.â
âThis one forgot to eat, thatâs all,â Kenshin grumbled, starting to walk towards the edge of the hedge maze. âFirst Hiko picked up this one without any forewarning, then he hauled this one from one store to the next, in search of something to wear. As it was, we barely made it in time to be âfashionably late,â as Hiko put it. Honestly, anyone would have forgotten to eat in that hurry.â
âSure, sure,â The Prince agreed, jogging up to her to walk by her side. âBut maybe you wouldnât mind me offering you a dinner? Iâm sure we can find something to eat.â
âItâs near midnight,â Kenshin said. âIf thereâs anything left to eat at the ball, it must have been a dish too strange for you esteemed guestsâ palate.â
âPerhaps,â The Prince said. âBut trust me, if I ask for something to eat â there will be food.â
âMust be nice,â Kenshin harrumphed, not particularly impressed. She still remembered when she had worked in a tavern nearly ten years ago and how annoying it was when a quest had decided to demand food in the middle of the night.
They were just climbing up the patio stairs, when Kenshin noticed that ball had already ended and the guest were in the process of leaving â and worse, from this high-up, she could see the castleâs front yard, where she spotted the familiar purple gowns of Lady Yumi and Miss Megumi, both women already climbing to their carriage.
The reality struck like a lightning bolt from the clear sky.
Kenshin had just spent the whole evening with the Prince. Worse, she had caught the Princeâs attention in front of Lady Yumi and Miss Megumi, right after Miss Megumi had danced with the Prince. Worse, Kenshin hadnât even tried to explain herself, why she had come to a ball Lady Yumi had forbidden her to attend, why she had abandoned her responsibilities at the Shishio townhouseâŚGods, no matter how sheâd spin it, this would look bad â no, it would look like a betrayal.
And it was a betrayal, wasnât it?
The pinnacle of Lady Yumiâs ambition was for Miss Megumi to catch the Princeâs hand.
It was something Kenshin had known perfectly well.
And still, she hadnât said no to the Princeâs invitation, hadnât walked away when given a chance to do so â no, instead she had gone with the flow of the moment, and in doing so, spat on her employerâs generosity, trampled on the trust Lady Yumi had given her when she had decided to hire her, allowing her a chance for an honorable work and a place to live without a fear of persecution.
And worst of all, Lady Shishio Yumi, the woman who she had so spurned, was famed for her vindictive wrath and she knew Kenshinâs worst secrets.
Shiver racing down her spine, Kenshin whispered, âT-this one⌠Iâm sorry â and thank you.â
The fact was: if she couldnât find a way to appease Lady Yumi, it wasnât just Kenshinâs reputation she could tatter in revenge. No, because if she made it known to people that Kenshinâs body was not as it seemed, that she was trying to disguise her birth gender⌠How long would it take the people to realize the Prince was doing the same?
âWhat?â The Prince stared at her, âWhy for?â
âYou made me feel like I was worth something. Iâll never forget that.â Kenshinâs heart felt like it trying to claw its way out of her chest, and still, she smiled. âThank you â and goodbye.â
She turned, and ran â
âKenshin! Hey, wait!â
The Princeâs shout echoed after her, but Kenshin didnât turn around. She raced up the stairs, across the patio, past the pathway leading to the castleâs front yard â
âKenshin â donât go!â
Her eyes blurry with tears, Kenshin gasped for breath and ran faster, even when her heel lurched in her feet and made her stumble, she hopped on one foot and pulled off the damn shoe and continued running.
She couldnât stop, not nowâ
Because it she glanced back even for an instant, she would stop, and she would tell the Prince everything, what a freak she truly was and then, she would have to face the Princeâs disgust when she realized that the Lady Kenshin she had been chasing didnât exist after all.
No, it was better she ran now â when they both still had this beautiful illusion to remember.
âKENShIIIiiiin!â
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Red hair flowing behind her, her pink dress gathered up so she could run freely, Lady Kenshin disappeared past the castleâs gate. Kaoru slowed down from her frantic run to walk, staring after her.
What had happened? What had Lady Kenshin seen, that she would change her mind so drastically?
The guests?
The trickle of people leaving had waned, most of them turned to look at the spectacle of Prince Kaoru running after a girl, hollering her name. Kaoru grimaced, and lifted her hand to assure them that it was all good â even though it really, really wasnât â then turned on her heel, and headed back up the marble stairs. She didnât feel like explaining her actions to anyone. Not right now. Preferably, not ever.
However, as she walked up towards the castle, her eye caught on a glimmer of⌠pink?
Her heart racing, Kaoru rushed to pick it up â a shoe made of pink glass. Who would make a shoe out of something as impractical as glass? She couldnât even venture a guess. However, that didnât matter, not when she knew exactly whose shoe this was. After all, only one woman had worn pink at the ball, and women always matched their shoes with their outfit.
No, this⌠was Lady Kenshinâs shoe.
A tangible sign, that Kaoru hadnât imagined her beauty, graceâ
âWhat happened?â A gruff voice cut off her train of thought.
Kaoru startled and looked up, only to face a broad, broad chest clad in white. She blinked, looking up even higher-
Lord Seijuurou raised his brow, and repeated, âThe shoe. Why do you have Kenshinâs shoe?â
âUh,â Kaoru swallowed. âUm, she dropped it? She was stumbling when she ran down the stairs, and I, ah-â
âNever mind you,â Hiko cut off, impatient. âWhy was Kenshin running? Did you upset him?â
âI⌠donât think so?â Kaoru asked, stepping back. Gods, she had never realized how intimidating Lord Seijuurou could be when he was looming over someone like that. âWe were just talking nonsense, joking around â about food? Yes, it was about food, hardly something that could upset anyone, I donât think. I thought sheâd like something to eat, so I offered her a dinner, but as we were coming back she saw something and suddenly spun around, thanked me and saidââ Kaoruâs breath caught, âG-goodbye. She said goodbye-â
âSlow down! Take a deep breath, and look at me, boy.â Lord Seijuurou clasped her shoulders. âThere we go. You said he saw something? Where?â
Kaoruâs throat felt too tight for words, so she waved towards the stairs. âThere, in the driveway, I think.â
âI see,â Lord Seijuurou hummed. âYes, I think I have a pretty good idea why Kenshin reacted like that. That child⌠even now, he,â Lord Seijuurou scowled, âShe thinks nothing of herself, of her own happiness.â
ââŚwhat?â
Lord Seijuurou straightened and looked away, gazing down the castleâs yard. âKenshin⌠Youâd think she is demure and sweet, with those understated manners of hers. Sheâs not. You will never meet anyone more hard-headed and independent as her. She thinks and thinks and thinks, bringing up the matter once, twice, thrice and the way she does it, itâs so gentle, so nice and accommodating, that youâd think this is just a simple thing, a little matter that develops character if thwarted â but when she makes up her mind, she will act on it, no matter the consequences to herself.â
âOh,â Kaoru paused, not entirely sure why was Lord Seijuurou telling to this her. Was this some sort an arcane way to tell her off? Stay away from my daughter, or else? Hah, like sheâd give up now! Kaoru narrowed her eyes and said firmly. âThatâs not something Iâd consider a fault. I like independent women who are not afraid to stand their ground.â
Lord Seijuurou snorted like he had just heard the best joke in all night. But he didnât turn around. âYouâd think so, wouldnât you?â
âYes,â Kaoru said evenly, stepping to stand beside him. âYes, I do.â
âHah. Maybe you do then.â Lord Seijuurou said softly and glanced at her. Despite their difference in height, the fact that Lord Seijuurou had always towered over everyone â he had never seemed more vulnerable, more human than right now. âI never hid Kenshin. She ran off at sixteen and never returned. The letter you saw Miss Shishio hand me earlier today? That was the first I had heard of Kenshin in thirteen years.â
âWhat?â Kaoru gaped. âHow would â what happened?!â
Lord Seijuurou furrowed his brow. âI didnât listen. I didnât look. It was always there, right in front of my eyes, but I refused to understand, simply because it went beyond what I was comfortable to accept. How blind of me.â
Refused to understand? Not seeing what was in front of him? Just how much had Lord Seijuurou drunk again? Kaoru frowned. âA spymaster of your capabilities should have easily found her.â
âTrue,â Hiko let out a bitter laugh. âBut I never looked.â
âBut why?â
Hiko didnât answer.
The silence dragged on, and then, Kaoru couldnât take it anymore. âYou should go to her. Right now.â
âNo.â
Kaoru raised her brow in disbelief. âWhy not? Kenshin was really upset, she needs you. Are you really going to let her suffer alone?â
âKenshinâs tougher than she looks,â Hiko said dismissively. âShe knows the name of my hotel. If she gets in trouble, she can find me and Iâll rain hell on anyone who even thinks of hurting her. But not before she asks me to.â
âThatâsâŚâ Kaoru bit on her lip, tempted to say something she knew sheâd regret. Suddenly, she didnât wonder at all why Hiko had had troubles raising a child. âThen, at least tell me where I can find her. Please. I need to go to her and apologize.â
âNo.â
Kaoru growled, clenching her hands to fists. âAnd pray tell, why not?â
Hiko huffed. âYou can lead a horse to water, but you canât make it drink. Trust me, kid â I have tried. No, Kenshin is the sort of self-sacrificial idiot who will never step out of the miserable little life she has made for herself, if not by her own choice. Sheâs difficult like that. Sheâll run and run until she decides not to.â
âBut surely I can talk to her? Try to help her?â Kaoru said, trying to make any sense of Hikoâs arcane musings.
Hiko scoffed, shook his head â blatantly ignoring her and then the bastard decided to head down the stairs. ââtil later,â he called out loud and lifted up his hand if farewell, holding up a bottle ofâ
âSon of a bitch!â Kaoru gaped, unable to believe what her eyes were telling her. Had Lord Seijuurou grabbed a whole bottle of their most expensive champagne? Really? âHow wasted are you?â
âNot even nearly enough.â Lord Seijuurou declared without turning around. âIâd recommend you to do the same. It passes the time.â
Kaoru stared â that, that bastard! âYou seriously arenât going to give me even a hint where to find her?â
âIâd rather watch you sweat for it. After all, what a man has to fight for, he will always appreciate more than a price neatly handed to him.â
âWhat?â Kaoru stated, oddly furious. âWomen arenât things.â
âYet, the principle still stands.â Lord Seijuurou turned around and pointed his bottle toward Kaoru. âBesides, you have everything you need to find her yourself, donât you?â
âTsh,â Kaoru hissed, peering at the shoe in her hands.
It was an odd one, most certainly.
At least five years, if not more past the current fashion, a bit too ambitious in material and design to be practical for anyone and â
Kaoruâs brows furrowed in thought. She hopped on one foot, comparing Lady Kenshinâs pink shoe to her own uniform boots.
It was at least three, maybe four fingers larger in size than hers.
âHuh.â
So it was an odd size, too â larger than most womenâs wear, maybe even larger than what tall beauties like Miss Megumi would wear. An impractical, inflexible and notable old design⌠something a craftsman had made to an order but hadnât managed to sell after all?
That would fit, wouldnât it? Lady Kenshin had mentioned to having some trouble finding something suitable to wear in such a short notice, hadnât she?
Kaoru gnawed on her bottom lip, turning the shoe in her hands, an idea sparking at the back of her mind.
Yes, did have everything she needed to find Lady Kenshin, didnât she?
The shoe â it was the key.
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The next morning, Kaoru woke up early â a step by step plan fully hashed out in her mind and ready to be executed. The first step, of course, was to find Mrs. Tae, the castleâs head maid and uncontested queen of the gossip circle.
âList of Lady Shishio Megumiâs friends, you say?â The older maid asked, startled. âBut didnât you-â
Kaoru flashed her most charming smile and rubbed the back of her neck, as if embarrassed. âUnfortunately, it didnât quite click between Miss Megumi and I. And, well â um, this is a touch awkward â but you see, Lady Seijuurou seemed to be friends with Miss Shishio, but she forgot to mention to me where she was staying and now I donât know how to contact her.â
âAnd you havenât tried through her father?â Mrs. Tae asked. âAs I recall, Lord Seijuurou has been staying at the same hotel he always does when he visits the capital.â
Kaoru didnât even try to hold back her grimace. âAh, thatâs⌠unfortunately, that path is a no go.â
âHoo?â Mrs. Tae grinned. âDo tell? You know how I enjoy interesting stories.â
âMaybe later?â Kaoru smiled weakly. âIâm afraid, itâs a matter of some urgency â you see, Lady Seijuurou was a tad upset with me last night and I do wish to apologize to her at the soonest.â
âAwh,â Mrs. Taeâs eyes grew softer. âWell, you should have started with that! Sure, let me just grab my notebook and Iâll get you a list in a jiffy. I assume you want only the names of the nobles who are staying in the town?â
âAnd any lesser ranked contacts if you possibly could,â Kaoru asked.
Mrs. Taeâs brows climbed in surprise. âI see. Well, letâs see what I can do for you â but when this is over, be sure to introduce me to this young lady? Iâd love to meet a woman who has caught your eye so strongly.â
âItâs a deal,â Kaoru said. âThank you, Mrs. Tae â you are the best!â
Mrs. Tae huffed, shaking her head. âNow hop along â and be sure to mention the news to your honorable Lord father. If Iâm not completely off the mark, he should be having a breakfast at the grand hall.â
âReally, so early?â Kaoru blinked.
âItâs halfway to the morning for most of us.â Mrs. Tae said ruefully. âTa-ta.â
As promised, Kaoru found her father at the grand hall, enjoying breakfast with his advisors and old friends, the venerable Lord Maekawa and the court Primary Physician, Doctor Gensai. Now, the last thing Kaoru wanted was to tell a trio of noisy old men â no matter how dear or wise â that yes, she had finally met a woman she liked but said woman had run off in tears.
No, it really was a bit too mortifying.
So Kaoru shoveled a light breakfast to her plate and chomped it down in hurry, avoiding her fatherâs curious gaze and well-intended questions with a few well-placed hums, nods and roundabout replies; yes, the ball had been nice. Yes, she had met interesting people. Yes, it had all gone well, thanks, dad.
âReally Kaoru â whatâs got into you this morning? You seem unusually hurried.â
âOh, nothing much,â Kaoru deflected. âI just need to get to a thing, thatâs all. Oh by the way â you donât mind if I take a carriage to town, do you, dad?â
âOf course not,â King Kamiya Koshijirou agreed easily. âBut Kaoru ââ
ââŚYes, dad?â
Lord Maekawa and Doctor Gensai leaned back, both of them watching the exchange in curiosity.
âYou know that I fully trust your judgment? Even if⌠I would like to be there for you, to support you, no matter how awkward the topic.â
âI know that,â Kaoru said, her softly. âAnd Iâll be sure to tell you all about it, but later. I really must go if I want this to work, so could I take my leave?â
âBy all means,â King Koshijirou said, âplease.â
âThanks, dad.â Kaoru grinned and rose to her feet. âOh, and I need to loan Sanosuke as well.â
King Koshijirou paused, his surprise obvious. âAnd why would you need the Head Guard of the Castle for an outing to the town? Surely you donât fear for your safetyââ
âNope,â Kaoru grinned. âBut he is nicely tall and intimidating. His presence would save me a lot of fast talking.â
A notable silence followed that statement.
Kaoru let out a small laugh, âAnyways, Iâll be offââ
âKaoruâŚâ
âLord Maekawa, Doctor Gensai â It was nice to catch a breakfast together.â Kaoru addressed her father'sâ advisors and then waved cheerfully. âThanks, dad â Iâll be back by the nightfall.â
âFine,â King Koshijirou huffed. âSafe travels.â
âAlways,â Kaoru grinned and marched off with a cheerful whistle, her dress sword clinging against her tall riding boots. The buttons of her best day to day uniform coat shining in the morning sun. Oh yes, with the list from Mrs. Tae, the permission from her father and convenient help acquired, she was as ready as she could be.
Now, it was time for the search to begin.
She knew Miss Megumi Shishio was somehow acquainted with Lady Kenshin. However, she had no way of knowing what their exact relationship was. And given the arcane mutterings of Lord Seijuurou last night, there was a possibility that wherever Lady Kenshin was hiding, living her quiet life, it was not a role anyone would expect to find a noble lady in.
So, the scheme she had concocted during the quiet hours of the night was simple: she would visit all the families Miss Megumi was connected with and have the Head of Castle Guard, Sagara Sanosuke-san to demand on the Princeâs authority that all the women in the house, from the lady to her daughters, relatives, visitors, even the staff to try on Lady Kenshinâs glass shoe. Given its oddities, it was a good bet that it would fit no one but the intended owner.
If it so happened that there was someone else the shoe fit but a pretty redhead, she had given Sanosuke instructions to deny and dismiss the occurrence to the best of his capability.
Now, quite understandably, Sano was not a fan of misusing his authority, but he was her friend and Kaoru knew that should the need arose, he was perfectly capable of pulling wool over anyoneâs eyes.
So, the search began.
As Kaoru had suspected, the play worked like a charm: the tall and intimidating Sanosuke had no trouble to get even ladies of the noble families to fulfill the odd request of trying on someone elseâs shoe. Especially when there was a promise to meet the Prince should the shoe fit. So woman after a woman, old, young, from highest ranked noble to most common serving girl, they all tried on that pink glass shoe, only to realize, that it was too loose on their dainty feet.
House after house, they visited the townhouses, manors, and apartments that Mrs. Tae had listed as Miss Megumiâs connections. The sun climbed to its axis, then started its slow descent, the morning changing to midday to afternoon, as they crossed over one name after another.
And yet, they had found nothing.
Kaoruâs bottom lip tasted like copper, as they drove out from the gates of the last manor on the list. Even her friend, Sanosuke was visibly frustrated. âWhere to, then? Surely there is some place where we havenât looked.â
âThere isnât,â Kaoru said and tore the list to pieces. âThat was the last name on the list.â
âButâŚâ Sano trailed off. âBut what if we tried again tomorrow? Maybe your girl wasnât home or something?â
Kaoru huffed and reached to rub her eyes. âThereâs a limit to how many times you can badger people with a strange request and not piss them off. The last thing I want is to needlessly antagonize the local nobility. As you remember, most of the ladies you met today were at the ball yesterday, and saw me dismiss their daughters over a total newcomer.â
âYou reckon they are jealous?â
âOf course they are,â Kaoru sighed. âAfter all, getting their daughter to marry me is a surefire bet for a rise in rank and status, for their whole family.â
Sano huffed. âWell, I canât argue over that. Hell, I happen to punch the prince during a bar brawl and now Iâm Head of the Castle Guard, my old man has a house and proper job as a gardener in the castle and even my brother and sister are in school. An association with Kamiya sure drags people up from the mud.â
The memory of that drew a smile from Kaoru. âWell, it wasnât much of punch. Iâd call it a glancing shot at the very most. And I did get up to my feet right after, and socked you in the jaw.â
âSure you did.â Sano laughed. âI almost felt it, too. A tiny squirt like you trying to hit me. Hah!â
âWhat can I say? Not all of us have been blessed with height.â Kaoru grinned ruefully.
âNo,â Sano agreed, his eyes growing unusually serious. It was his best big-brother-face, the one that he so rarely directed to Kaoru. âYou might not have the height, but you got tenacity by the buckets. I have never seen you give up. So why would you give up now?â
The words shook Kaoru to the core. She paused, her heart thundering in her chest. âWhat would you have me do then? The Shishioâs are my fatherâs most outspoken opposition! Itâs bad enough that I showed interest in their daughter and dismissed her in favor of a more interesting newcomer⌠but it would be beyond the pale to go knocking on their door, and rub salt to the wound the very next day.â
Sano didnât even blink. âBut do you have a better chance to find out where your girl is?â
âNo.â Kaoru had to admit. âLord Seijuurou told me to find his daughter myself.â
âSo, what are we waiting for?â
Kaoru closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Rude as it was, she had already gone door to door of all nobles who were who in the town. With this much precedence, a visit to the Shishio household would be seen as only a few more toes she had stepped on today, instead of a direct insult to her fatherâs long-standing political opponent.
âAlright,â She said. âFine, letâs do it.â
âThatâs our Prince Kaoru.â Sano grinned.
âBut youâll be on your own there,â Kaoru warned him. âJust run the drill as per usual. If I can possibly avoid it, I really shouldnât show my face and risk turning this into a personal insult, not unless it becomes absolutely necessary.â
âAy, ay, sir.â Sano drew a lazy salute, and opened the carriage door, leaning out to shout to the driver, âKatsu, turn around! We have one more stop to make!â
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shishio townhouse was eerily silent as they pulled to the driveway. No soul was in sight, but the lights were flickering past the second floor curtains and made it apparent that the family â or at least some members of it â were home.
âAlright, then,â Kaoru whispered and signaled to Sano to step out of the carriage, then pulled the curtains shut, leaving only a subtle pace for her to watch the proceedings.
As per their routine, Sano walked to the door and knocked on it.
In mere moments, a short and dainty maid wearing a white apron over her uniform and a headscarf to cover her hair stepped out and addressed Sano. It was too far away for Kaoru to make out any particular details, but she had no doubt as to how their discussion went. She had watched this play dozens of times today.
Sure enough, after a moment, the maid gave up her protests and curtseyed deeply, before disappearing behind the grand doors, no doubt going to alert the lady of the house. Or any noble present, Kaoru corrected herself, biting her lip again. Gods, she hadnât even made certain that Lady Shishio hadnât left to the countryside again, hadnât she?
Like before, Sano retreated closer to the carriage, ensuring that whatever discussion followed, Kaoru would be close enough to overhear.
Then, Lady Shishio marched out of the house, and on her heel, the ever so lovely Miss Megumi.
âGood day, sir,â Lady Yumi started, poised, elegant and deadly as a cobra flaring its hood. âWhat brings you to our humble doorstep today? My maid mentioned something about a decree by the Crown Prince Kamiya himself?â
Sano straightened to his full height and cleared his throat. âYes, my lady â that is correct. Crown Prince Kamiya Kaoru has requested that every woman in the house steps out, and tries on this shoe.â
Lady Yumiâs eyes fell to the pillow Sano was holding, looking at the pink glass slipper like it was dirty.
âI see,â She uttered, voice cool as midwinter blizzard. âI guess we must, then. Please, hold it out for me.â
Sano kneeled, holding out the shoe â
And Lady Yumi took hold of her daughterâs shoulder, slipping it on. As expected, it lurched, much too large on her dainty feet.
âThank you, my lady,â Sano said, keeping his voice carefully bland. He turned to Miss Megumi, âIf you would, Lady..?â
âShishio â Lady Shishio Megumi.â Miss Megumi said and let on a knowing smile. âWe have met before, havenât we â Sir Sagara?â
âI remember that,â Sano let out a sheepish laugh. He held out the shoe to her. âBut please, if you would.â
Miss Megumiâs didnât say anything more, but her smile gained an edge to it as she, too, tried on the shoe. It was a better fit, but still not an exact match.
âThank you, my ladies,â Sano inclined his head and stood up. âCould you please summon all the female staff you have here? Iâm afraid the Princeâs decree was very clear â I need to have all the women in the house to test the shoeâs fit.â
Lady Yumi raised her brow.
Kaoruâs hands drew to fists, and she held out her breath: this is it, this is my last chance-
âWe have no female staff,â Lady Yumi said. âMegumi and I are only women present.â
What?
Sano cleared his throat pointedly. âMy lady, I am acting as the Crown Princeâs voice. Lying to me bears the same punishment as lying to a member of the Royal Family.â Like everyone in the kingdom knew, this meant treason, a crime punishable by death.
And still, Lady Yumi didnât bat an eyelash. âI am aware. However, that doesnât change the facts. I donât have any women in my employ.â
At her side, Miss Megumiâs smile grew tense and she looked aside like she wanted to say something-
âLady,â Sano started, his voice gaining an edge to it and he pointed towards the grand doors, where Shishioâs maid was following on their conversation. âYour maid, she is right there.â
Lady Yumi turned to look over her shoulder and asked slowly â her voice almost lazy. âOh, you mean Kenshin?â
Kaoru sat up, by some miracle managing to hold back the cheer rising from her throat in time. Yes! I found her! At last! But she couldnât give out she was here, not if she could possibly avoid itâŚ
âYes, if thatâs her name.â Sano said and addressed the maid, âPlease, miss â join us.â
Sano can handle this, Kaoru told to herself. The shoe would fit and then Sano would ask Lady Kenshin to step to the carriage, and then â then, they could discuss this out in private, without causing a mortal insult to lady Shishio.
Lady Yumi smiled, and raised her voice, âCome on then, Kenshin. You heard Sir Sagara, didnât you?â
Hesitant as a fawn, her face pale as a sheet, Lady Kenshin walked closer.
Kaoruâs throat tightened at the sight of her unhappiness, but she bit on her lip and leaned closer, trying to press every single detail to her mind. A maid! Lady Kenshin, the daughter of Hiko Seijuurou the 13th had been working as a maid! It seemed so far fetched, that even now, Kaoru could hardly believe it!
âŚbut damn, that maidâs dress looks cute on her.
Kaoru shook off the errant thought of her head, forcing herself to focus. There was something wrong here, it was obvious by the tension in the air, how scared and sad Lady Kenshin seemed, but they would get the bottom of this. They would.
And everything would be fine.
Lady Yumi motioned Lady Kenshin to join her by her side and drew her hand over her shoulder. âKenshin, dear â why donât you tell Sir Sagara yourself why the Princeâs degree doesnât include you?â
Lady Kenshinâs eyes widened, and she gasped-
âOr would you rather that I do it?â Lady Yumi smiled sweetly. âRemember, lying to the Princeâs designated voice is like you would lie to the Prince himself and we all know how bad that is, donât we? A treason, a crime punishable by death.â
âMotherâŚâ Miss Megumi said. âIsnât that a bit too cruel-â
âSilence,â Lady Yumi smiled at Megumi. âDonât think I have forgotten your stunt yesterday.â
âBut...â Miss Megumi hesitated.
âAll choices have consequences,â Lady Yumi said to her daughter. âYou got what you wanted, but thereâs a price for everything and itâs time you learned that as well.â
âLadies,â Sano said, his confusion evident in his voice. âWhatâs going on here? Why wouldnât your maid, Kenshin â was that your name? Why wouldnât she be part of the Princeâs degree? I thought I was being clear: the status doesnât matter. We just need to find the woman who this shoe belongs to.â
âWell?â Lady Yumi prompted, pressing her hand on lady Kenshinâs shoulder.
Like a puppet with its strings cut, Lady Kenshin fell to her knees, looking at the shoe with sheer despair in her eyesâŚ
And Kaoru, Kaoru couldnât take it anymore. She rushed out of the carriage. âEnoughâ Thatâs enough â all of you!â
âOh, Prince Kaoru â Welcome.â Lady Yumi turned to her, calm as ever like there was nothing out of ordinary going on. âWhat a pleasant surprise! Iâm afraid we werenât expecting you.â
âPlease, take your hand away from Lady Kenshin,â Kaoru growled, âItâs obvious that she doesnât want it there.â
âDid you hear that, Kenshin? The Prince called you a lady. Oh dear,â Lady Yumi tittered, then kneeled by Lady Kenshinâs side, stroking her hand on her back, like she was comforting her. âWhy donât you tell him the truth? Havenât you let this farce continue long enough already?â
âThe truth? Of what, pray tell?â Kaoru asked, her voice wavering with fury all but boiling over.
Lady Kenshin inhaled weakly, but then finally looked up and met Kaoruâs eyes. âT-this one⌠IâŚâ She smiled a vane, terribly bleak smile. âI was born a third child to a rice-farmer like I told you. But I⌠I was raised a son, not a daughter.â
âA son?â Kaoru repeated, unable to believe her ears.
âHiko, too, adopted a son to be his heir.â Lady Kenshin continued, her voice becoming smaller and she looked to her lap, twisting her fingers. âItâs why this one was taught swordsmanship, why oneâs dance lessons aimed to teach one to lead⌠even why that shoe is such an odd size.â
Lady Kenshin let out a breathless, utterly hollow laugh.
âItâs why this one could never become what you need, Prince Kaoru. You need a woman â and it took me sixteen long years to understand that I was one.â
ââŚSixteen?â Kaoru asked, âIs that why you ran away from Lord Seijuurouâs household at that age?â
Lady Kenshin tensed but inclined her head.
Kaoru breathed out loud, all her anger and tension trickling away. The pieces of the puzzle were finally snapping in their place, unveiling the mystery surrounding Lady Kenshin⌠and yet, Kaoru didnât feel angry or betrayed. No, for all the many things Lady Kenshin had withheld from her, she hadnât stated a single lie outright.
Funny, how such a thing could matter.
Kaoru smiled a little, stepped forward and knelt in front of Lady Kenshin, âI appreciate you telling me this, my lady. But the way I see it, you havenât done anything wrong.â
âWhat?â
âThe hell?â
Shouts of surprise echoed around them, but Kaoru could only pay attention to one of them, the faint, disbelieving-
âOro?â
She smiled, utterly charmed and clasped Lady Kenshinâs hands. âYou might have been born as a son, but I donât see a son in front of me now. You said it yourself too, didnât you? You are a woman.â
âBut,â Lady Kenshin said, glancing down to her bosom, âWhat about-â
Kaoru raised her voice, without bothering look behind her. âSano, if a fully grown woman says she is a woman, who would have a right to deny her claim?â
âErrr,â Sano hesitated. âI donâtââ
âPlease, bear with me.â Kaoru smiled at Lady Kenshin and glanced over her shoulder towards the man whose manner had grown extremely awkward. âSano, you are the Head of the Castle Guard. You know the laws better than anyone in this company, donât you? So if you had to make a decision, right here and now, who would have the right to deny a womanâs claim of her gender?â
âWell, no one,â Sano grimaced. âExcept, perhaps the head of her family, if said woman was minor, or suspected of not being in her right mind. For anyone else, theyâd need to present proof. But over such a matter⌠any proof they could provide or demand would be considered harassment, especially if said woman was of noble caste, and at that point â it would come down to the royal ruling, as you all know. â
âThatâs what I thought,â Kaoru nodded sagely. âAnd Miss Megumi, werenât you present yesterday, when Lord Seijuurou introduced me to his only daughter, publicly declaring her as his heir and offered the proof of her adoption?â
Miss Megumi huffed softly and then smiled. âYes, I was. I heard it myself.â
âBut thatâs like trying to turn oil into water!â Lady Yumi hissed, âIt doesnât work that way! A man is a man, and a woman is a woman, and thereâs no changing it, no matter what delusions a person might get into their head.â
âPerhaps,â Kaoru said quietly, tightening her hold on Lady Kenshinâs hand. âBut whoâd claim otherwise?â
Lady Yumi looked at her, then opened her mouth-
âMy ladies, My Prince,â Sano interrupted them. âAs intriguing as this discussion is, you do remember that any disputes between nobles are solved with a Royal Ruling? Ever since Prince Kaoru reached his majority and King Koshijirou declared him to be his heir, his word has been the royal decree.â
Kaoru waited, tense â looking at Lady Yumi.
Lady Yumiâs expression was difficult to describe: fury, defiance, and frustration battled in her eyes. A moment turned to two, three, fourâŚ
And still, Kaoru waited, daring her to say the words.
At her side, Lady Kenshin was silent as a ghost.
Lady Yumi looked at Kaoru, then at Kenshin⌠and her expression grew sour. She gritted her teeth. But finally, ever so reluctant, she inclined her head and curtseyed. âVery well. If my Prince so decides to turn oil into water, then the oil must be water, even against all the evidence to contrary.â
Kaoru rose to stand, pulling Lady Kenshin up to her feet with her. âThank you, my Lady.â
âDonât thank me!â Lady Yumi hissed, her eyes dark and angry. âItâs not right, but against the Princeâs words⌠I cannot do more than state the truth.â
âMother,â Miss Megumi whispered.
Lady Yumi raised her hand, to still any further words from her daughter and looked aside, about to walk away.
Kaoru struggled to held back her smile. Thatâs right, you rigid and vindictive-
Lady Kenshin wavered at Kaoruâs side, and she reached forward, whispering, âplease-â
Just one word, too low for anyone but her to hear and Kaoruâs heart swelled. Even after being subjected to those harsh, abusive words, Lady Kenshin hadnât broken down or given in to anger. No. Even now, Lady Kenshin was trying to mend her relationship with Lady Yumi. It showed maturity, the type of strength Kaoru had always struggled with and what her teachers and her father always tried to get her to consider.
And at that moment, it finally struck Kaoru that she couldnât let this incident sour the relationship with Shishio clan either. Lady Shishio had acquitted because she had no other option left â but she was still a dangerous foe, both as a political player in her own right and as the wife of Lord Shishio Makoto, King Koshijirouâs most outspoken political opposition. If Kaoru left things like this, she would soon find Lady Shishioâs wrath in front of her, in front of Kenshin and their happiness together.
No, somehow⌠she needed to find a way to do damage control. And quickly! And the only way to do that would be to find a way to give Lady Shishio something she wanted more than the revenge.
Kaoru looked at Lady Kenshin, a thousand thoughts rushing through her mind: that maidâs dress, the mess things had turned here, even the relationship Lady Kenshin had with her father, Lord Seijuurou that was only given a chance to start healing now, over a decade after the factâŚ
No, as quick and dirty as it was, Kaoru couldnât think but only one way how she could solve this mess in a way that would give all the parties with something they wanted.
âLady Kenshin, I know this comes too soon, butâŚâ Kaoru said, went on one knee and looked up the Lady Kenshinâs eyes, âmarry me, please?â
âOroro?â Lady Kenshin gaped, eyes as round as teacups.
âKaoru!â Sanoâs hissed at her left. âYour fatherâs going to kill me!â
âHe wonât,â Kaoru said, determinately maintaining her smile, her eyes never leaving Lady Kenshinâs. âPlease, my lady. The moment you walked into the ballroom, you had my heart. And then, you sealed the deal by laughing at my stupid jokes. Please, you are the one and only I want by my side.â
âThatâs,â Lady Kenshinâs flushed red, and she looked aside. âPrince Kaoru, you really are too much.â
âYet, hopefully not enough?â Kaoru suggested, letting a hint of humor to her tone. âMy lady, please say yes already! My knees are starting ache!â
Lady Kenshin let out the most unladylike snort and covered her face in surprise. âWe canât have that, no can we?â She finally stated. âWhat are you, eighteen and in perfect health? And yet you still complain about bad knees?â
âWell, how else am I supposed to make you laugh?â Kaoru complained. âCome on, Lady Kenshin â say yes.â
âFine,â Lady Kenshin looked up, a shy smile on her lips. âYes, Iâll marry you â But! This one will get to say when we keep the wedding, that one will.â
âDeal,â Kaoru grinned, and kissed the back of her hand, âAs my lady commands.â
âY-you flatterer!â Lady Kenshin reddened, her blush deepening, âYou do that on purpose, that you do.â
âI do,â Kaoru agreed easily. âBut I canât help myself, you blush so pretty.â
Lady Kenshin huffed, her embarrassment obvious.
A fond feeling curled at the pit of Kaoruâs stomach, but she knew she had to keep up with the momentum. She clasped Lady Kenshinâs hand more firmly, the only warning she could afford to give, and turned to Lady Yumi, âLady Shishio, given that we seem to have royal wedding incoming â perhaps, you and your daughter would like to help in their planning?â
At Kaoruâs side, Lady Kenshin tensed.
Kaoru rubbed the back of her hand, running her thumb up and down in loose circles, and faced the Shishio women. âOf course, youâd need to work together with my lady fiancĂŠe, to make sure everything is like she desires, but I think â perhaps, it could even be good? A chance to mend bridges before they are lost?â
Lady Yumiâs eyes were hard as stone as she eyed Kaoru from head to toe â like she had never seen her before.
Miss Megumi thought, her gaze was locked with Lady Kenshinâs.
Finally, after a notable pause, Lady Kenshin whispered from Kaoruâs side, âT-this one would like that, truly. Lady Yumi offered this one a home and honorable work, a chance for one to have a good life when this one had all but lost hope. This one would like to repay that, if one could.â
âItâs a good opportunity,â Lady Megumi said, softly. âPlease, mother â letâs accept it. We can turn it to our advantage.â
Lady Yumiâs expression grew cooler with each word. Finally, she sighed and curtseyed. âThank you. Weâll accept.â
Then, she turned to Miss Megumi, âItâs your victory. Please, handle this opportunity with care.â
And she walked away, without looking back.
Miss Megumi looked at Kaoru and Kenshin, one soulful glance before she rushed after her lady mother, following her into the house.
âHuh,â Sano said and let out a loud, exaggerated sigh. âThat was intense.â
âIt was, wasnât it?â Kaoru agreed numbly.
âLady Yumi is a strong woman,â Lady Kenshin murmured. âBut today, you not only defeated her but then also stole her rightful revenge from her, so you did.â
âOh,â Kaoru said. âBut, I⌠it was the only way I could make sure she wouldnât try to hurt us afterward!â
Lady Kenshin looked at her and tilted her head aside. âThis one didnât say you did anything wrong. If anything, you ensured that we could have a future, that you did.â
âBut-â
âPrince Kaoru,â Lady Kenshin interrupted her, and bobbed a curtsey, âThank you for your kindness.â
Kaoru stared at her numbly, before exhaling slowly. âThank you, too. For understanding why I had to make that offer. Not many would have, after all the things she said to you.â
âPerhaps not,â Lady Kenshin agreed. âBut, she was doing only as she thought was right. And as much as it hurt, she was right in one thing â this one should have told you the truth sooner instead of running away, that she should have.â
Kaoru paused, not quite sure how to answer to that. She didnât necessarily agree. After all, everything had turned out more or less fine. But at the same time, if Lady Kenshin had just confessed earlier, perhaps some of this mess could have been avoided.
âI⌠itâs fine.â Kaoru finally said. âJust know that you can talk to me about anything, alright? Iâll promise Iâll listen. Always.â
âAlright,â Lady Kenshin agreed softly.
âAnd please, the next time you feel like running â give me a bit of a warning?
âOro?â
âYou see, I donât mind chasing,â Kaoru explained, rubbing the back of her head. âBut Iâm afraid Iâll have to ask my father for a day off beforehand. The Crown Princeâs duties, you know?â
Lady Kenshinâs eyes sparkled, and she let out a laugh. âGods, whatâs with you? You are constantly trying to make this one laugh, that you are.â
âI hope you donât mind?â Kaoru dimpled. âBecause I warn you, Iâm in this for the long run.â
âAnd thatâs it, enough of your mushy stuff!â Sano interrupted them, waving his arm between them. âSeriously, shouldnât we leave already? Itâs getting late and still, you two flirt! Surely you can continue that at the castle?â
âWay to spoil the mood, Sano,â Kaoru said grumbled, looking up.
âWell, someoneâs gotta do it.â Sano shrugged, ever the diplomat and headed back to their carriage.
âHe is right, that he is,â Lady Kenshin murmured, stepping forward too. âBesides, we should probably go, before Lady Yumi becomes more upset.â
âOkay,â Kaoru said. âBut⌠do you need anything? Personal possessions or something?â
Lady Kenshin looked at the house. âNo, not really,â she decided after a moment. âEverything one truly needs, one always carries wherever she goes.â
âEven the things you need forâŚâ Kaoru bit on her lip, before waving vaguely toward her chest.
Lady Kenshin looked at her strangely. âWhatever this one wears should be enough, and for anything else â well, this one can sew, that she can.â
âAlright,â Kaoru said. âWell, after you, my lady.â
âCharmer,â Lady Kenshin smiled.
âI do try,â Kaoru admitted and followed Lady Kenshin to the carriage. Sano had climbed next to the driver at the front, leaving the carriage for them. Was it because he was being uncommonly gentlemanly? Or was he spooked? Or perhaps, maybe he had simply gotten his fill of Kaoruâs and her new fiancĂŠeâs âflirtingâ as he had so delicately put it.
They climbed on, and without a further word, the driver spurred the horses and drove them off from the townhouse driveway. Lady Kenshin looked out of the window, watching its gates fade away in the distance.
It struck Kaoru suddenly, that Lady Kenshin had effectively just lost her home, her job â all the vestiges of normalcy she had obviously worked so hard to build for herself.
Kaoru felt sorry for her, but at the same time, she couldnât regret how things had turned out. Lady Kenshin deserved so much better than a life as a maid for a vindictive woman with a vile tongue and no respect for Lady Kenshinâs words or requests. The way Lady Yumi had forced Lady Kenshin to confess her birth gender, how she had ignored Lady Kenshinâs obvious distress and then went on to insist that despite all the evidence on the contrary, Kenshin was a man⌠Kaoru drew her hands to fist, digging her nails into the skin of her palm. Grr! Sometimes I hate being the Prince! Iâd have loved to say my piece to that woman!
Seriously, if she hadnât needed to consider the ramifications to her future happiness with Lady Kenshin and to her fatherâs rule, to the kingdom â she would have. No one had the right to trample on someoneâs wishes like that, least of all over something as insignificant as gender.
Besides, Lady Kenshin passed so well as a woman, in manner and looks both, that even now, when Kaoru knew what she was hiding, she couldnât see it.
Well, there was that shoe size⌠but there were women with large feet, werenât there?
And okay, Lady Kenshinâs voice was a tad low in tone, but from the very first time Kaoru had heard it, she had thought it sexy, the sort of soft timbre that went straight to her libido.
Really, from her short stature and lean build to her long vibrant hair, large eyes and pretty face, to the narrow waist and slight curve of bosom her dress hinted, Lady Kenshin looked female to the bone, seemingly effortlessly.
Honestly, Kaoru was a little jealous.
Even when it had been announced to everyone in the kingdom that a prince had been born to the King â even now, when people met the Crown Prince for the first time, they had to take a second glance. If Kaoru were a little taller, a bit thicker in build or if her face was a bit rougher, her life would be so much easier.
Not then again, given how faultless Kenshinâs looks were, maybe she could have a tip or two on how Kaoru could try to improve her own disguise? Kaoru wetted her lips, about to make a comment, when she suddenly remembered one tiny little thing she had forgotten to mentionâŚ.
She paled.
âOro, Prince Kaoru? Whatâs wrong?â
Lady Kenshin, the woman she had just asked to marry her, had agreed to marry a man.
Oh, gods, what should she say? How could she make this right? She couldnât take Lady Kenshin at home and introduce her to her father, not when she didnât know what she had agreed to! Kaoru stared at Lady Kenshin in horror.
Lady Kenshin leaned forward, her worry obvious.
Kaoru shied away, her hand clasped in front of her mouth in shock â her words, her charm, all her great explanations grumbling to dust before she could verbalize them.
âPrince Kaoru,â Lady Kenshin asked, âPlease-â
Kaoru inhaled sharply, and then, the words just bubbled out, without her say so. âI, Iâm so sorry! I asked you to marry me, without even telling you what you were agreeing to! And then I even had the gall to criticize you for running away and not telling me your secrets, when I, I â when I was doing the same thing, all the damn time â gods, Iâm such an idiot, a selfish idiot-â
âOro?â
That cute habit of Lady Kenshinâs, this time it made Kaoru feel even worse.
âI canât even explain this thing right, can I?â She asked, wrapping her arms around herself. âThatâs me, the ditsy Kaoru, always making a mess.â
Lady Kenshin stared at her, befuddled.
Kaoru looked up, smiling wanly. âI, ah⌠I need to tell you something. But first, for whatever it's worth, I am sorry. I have made you a great injustice by withholding a pretty big secret from you. I⌠I understand if you want to break our engagement because of this, and obviously, you donât need to come to the castle with me, either. Iâll tell Sano to take us to the hotel Lord Seijuurou is staying, or if youâd prefer someone else, we can do that too.â
âBut why?â Lady Kenshin paused, but instead of fear, her eyes narrowed with â anger? âWhat is it? Why would you suddenly decide such a thing on this oneâs behalf?â
Kaoru blinked, startled.
âUm,â She hesitated. âI⌠Iâm not a prince. Err, not where it matters.â
Lady Kenshin froze, her gaze becoming utterly unreadable.
And Kaoru scrambled, trying to explain. âUm, you see â a bit like you, I have to disguise my body because unlike everyone thinks, I wasnât born a man, and Iâm not really a man at all. Um, I just dress like a man, to keep up the role because itâs better for everyone thinks my father has a male heir. It creates this illusion of starting the dynasty, and stabilizes his rule, you see.â
âAh,â Lady Kenshinâ stated, her tone strangely⌠dry? âSo, thatâs why.â
What? What was with that lackluster reaction? Kaoru stared, taken aback.
The silence dredged between them.
And finally, Kaoru couldnât take it anymore. âWhy arenât you shouting at me?â
âShould this one be?â Lady Kenshin asked, tilting her head aside. âNot that this one isnât a tad⌠annoyed, but thatâs because you said youâd cast this one aside, and break off the engagement, just like that, like it would be easy.â
âNo! No, no, never think that!â Kaoru sprung across the seat, her hands on Lady Kenshinâs shoulders. âI⌠it breaks my heart, but I canât expect you to marry me, not when you fell for a man, instead of a woman in disguise. Even if we would like each other, I canât give you what you want. Worse, the minute after we step into the castle, everyone will know you are mine. Even if we called the wedding off, that reputation would follow you anywhere you went! I canât that to you, not to you â never to you.â
Their faces were so close, that Kaoru could see nothing but Lady Kenshinâs beautiful violet eyes, wide in shock andâ
A hand slipped behind Kaoruâs neck and pulled her off-balance, and suddenly, her mouth was on Lady Kenshinâs, their lips molding against each other's, tongues meeting in the middle⌠and finally, Kaoru realized that Lady Kenshin was kissing her.
What? Why? She wanted to ask, but she had no breath to form questions and really, questions were rather pointless, werenât they?
Lady Kenshin was kissing her.
And gods, what a kiss it was! She gasped for breath and dove back in, kissing her back with all her passion, her fears and doubts bleeding away from her with each consequent meeting of their lips.
How long they kissed, she couldnât tell â but finally, the need to breathe become too pressing. She pulled back, drawing air to her burning lungs, trying to make sense of to the world she had turned upside down with a single act.
Lady Kenshin covered her reddened lips with her hand, an enchanting blush on her cheeks.
âUh, not that I minded that, âKaoru said, âbut, um?â
âIt was the fastest way this one could come up with to explain,â Lady Kenshin said, avoiding her gaze. âUm, the thing is, this one has never cared for men⌠romantically, that is. And um, one knew about you, that one did.â
âHuh?â Kaoru blinked, not quite sure she had heard right. âYou knew? That I was a woman?â
âYes. Since the ball, that one did.â
âBut,â Kaoru gaped. âBut how? Is there something missing in my disguise, or what?â
âErr,â Lady Kenshin hesitated, âThis one can sew, as she told you. When one knows what to look for, one can see notice the padding and hidden seams in your clothing. And your voice, itâs light â like it has never broken.â
âDamn it,â Kaoru cursed. âI should have known itâs the damn voice that would give me away. I just canât seem to keep it low enough.â
âItâs tricky, to learn to control oneâs voice,â Lady Kenshin agreed, her lips curving to a little smile.
âAnything else?â Kaoru asked, honestly curious.
Lady Kenshin pointed upwards, at her neck. âErr, your neck-scarf, too. You tugged it loose before we headed for the gardens. Itâs what clued all the pieces together, that it was.â
âWait a minute!â Kaoru paused. âYou didnât figure it out before I gave it away myself! You little minx! You were totally fooled when we were dancing! Thatâs why you were so stiff and hesitant! You thought you were dancing with a man, werenât you?â
âSo one did,â Lady Kenshin agreed, smiling, âa cute man with the most charming smile. This one was all but starting to doubt oneself, furious for being so easily shaken. But then⌠well, it was a relief, to learn the truth.â
âOh?â Kaoru grinned. âSo you were interested, but just played coy? You truly are a minx, arenât you? Playing hard to catch, letting me do all chaseâŚâ
Lady Kenshin reddened. âDonât read too deeply on it!â
âBut itâs the nicest thing you have said to me all day!â Kaoru grinned and held her hand to her chest dramatically. She had always loved romantic plays and the words of her latest favorite character came to her mind, âOh my Princess, what tales they will tell about our love, how our hearts were shaken from the first sight, gravitating towards each other, locked in eternal dance-â
âWasnât it bad enough to be forced to listen to Hikoâs bad poetry for years?â Lady Kenshin pouted.
Kaoru stopped, but wasnât deterred by the least. Lady Kenshin didnât dislike her words, not really â she just said she did. Her blush gave her away there. Kaoru smiled, utterly charmed. âWell, if my lady so wishes, I guess I must figure out some other way to express my fondness.â
Slowly, Kaoru leaned closer and pecked the softest kiss on Lady Kenshinâs lips.
Lady Kenshin tilted her head, leaning back slightly, all but pulling her in â and the one kiss turned to two, three, fourâŚ
Oh, well â reciting romantic dramas has never been my forte. Maybe it would be better to leave that for the professionals, Kaoru decided, burying her hands to Lady Kenshin'sâ hair, keeping on kissing.
After all, with this woman, a hundred kisses, no â not even a thousand kisses would be enough.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was strange, how life could change so quickly, so thoroughly â that even now, after having lived through every spin and turn, Kenshin could hardly believe it.
She frowned thoughtfully, taking a good look at her mirror image.
He face was clear and youthful, no signs of her true age visible to the casual observer: no crowâs feet, laugh lines or even a hint of a shadow under her eyes. Her hair was dressed into loose curls, the long tail tumbling over her shoulder in a mass of fiery waves. It had taken the hairdresser better part of an hour to create that effect: the impression that beauty was effortless. Her dress, too, was deceptively simple â but when one looked closer, one could see the most beautiful details embroidered into it and should she walk, it would flow like a dream made of finest silks and lace.
If she had seen the woman in the mirror at the street, or an event or a gala, her first instinct would be to curtsey. Only people, who wore such finery and took such care in their looks, were the highest of high.
Kenshin looked aside, an uncomfortable feeling curling at the pit of her belly. She reached upwards, her fingers finding the curled ends of her hair to play with as she struggled to wrangle that ugly feeling into submission.
It was perfectly normal to feel awkward and nervous, she knew that.
Miss Kaoru had told her so time and time again. She had kept insisting to her that these feelings were not a weakness, that as long as they were true to each other and talked about these things, it would be okay.
And yet, yet â when Kenshin looked at the mirror, she still had trouble seeing herself instead of a stranger wearing the clothes she had picked for the day.
It was stupid, butâŚ
In all the many roles she had been in her life; a maid, a seamstress, a cleaning lady, a cook and a waitress, a nobleâs heir and even before all that, just a poor rice farmerâs third child, never once had she felt so out of the water. Like she was an imposter in her life and all these great people around her hadnât simply realized it before. That if she made a misstep, a mistake, it would all fall down like a deck of cards and sheâd lose everything, again. Kenshin shuddered, then determinately turned around and walked away from the damn mirror.
She drew in a deep breath and then exhaled slowly. Then she repeated the motion, again, and again. She forced herself to breathe deeply, to reign in her jumpy heart into a calmer rhythm.
Miss Kaoru had said it was okay. That people knew and loved her, that even if she made a mistake, it would be okay.
And Kenshin trusted her. She did. And because of that, she would fight these fears lurking in the back of her mind for the hope that one day, she too, could believe in those daring words, and learn to accept that a woman like her could deserve a life like this.
A gentle knock cut through her morose thoughts.
Kenshin tensed and then drew a smile on her lips, and called out: âCome in, please.â
It was Kaoruâs father, King Koshijirou.
Instantly, Kenshin fell to a deep curtsey, âMy king, how may this unworthy one help you?â
A notable silence followed before King Koshijirou cleared his throat. âIt will take some more time before they are ready at downstairs. So I was thinking, that maybe now would be a good moment for us to talk, just the two of us.â
Kenshin swallowed, her throat gone dry. But somehow, she managed a faint little nod.
Footsteps echoed on the marble floor. âBe at ease.â The King said. âAnd if youâd join me, please?â
âAa,â Kenshin agreed numbly.
The King was gazing out of the grand windows, watching the people bustling on the yard, quests and dignitaries, plus all those servants dashing back and forth, making sure everything was ready in the gardens.
âThey call it the event of the century already,â King Koshijirou mused out loud. âNo wonder why, itâs grander than any celebration we have had during my rule, or during the old dynasties. Just the flower arrangements alone have made an army of gardeners busier than ever before in their lives. And donât even mention the food. Iâm sure Mrs. Tae will be ready to take a monthâs extended holiday after this is over.â
âLady Megumi had a grand vision to start with, but then Hiko dismissed it and challenged her to think even bigger,â Kenshin murmured quietly. âThis one tried to say no, but⌠even Prince Kaoru found their fighting too hilarious to step in, that she did.â
âWell, itâs certainly something else to see my old friend Lord Seijuurou to get so invested in anything.â King Koshijirou huffed. âBesides an event of this magnitude has a way of bringing people together. I donât believe I have ever seen my nobility so keen on trying to outdo each other in displays of generosity.â
âThey have been very kind, that they have,â Kenshin agreed.
âIt has nothing to do with kindness.â King Koshijirou smiled wryly. Â âItâs a game of one-upmanship, a way to showcase their status.â
âAa,â Kenshin agreed blandly.
King Koshijirouâs brows rose, just a hint. âBut you knew that already, didnât you?â
âOro?â
âYou see far more than you let on, itâs obvious when I stop to think about it. Even Kaoru has said to me as much.â King Koshijirou stated. âAnd yet, I must confess to having trouble reading you. My eyes tell me one thing, but my mind tells another.â
Kenshin looked aside, her stomach lurching with guilt and something far worse â fear. Was this the moment when King Koshijirou told her that the play was over? That he wouldnât suffer to have a person like her so close to his dear daughter? That Kenshin should pack up her things and leave, never to return?
âI⌠I, ah,â Kenshin hesitated, trying to find the words, âIf this one has offended-â
âWhat? No,â King Koshijirou said. âWhy ever would you think you have done something wrong? No, itâs nothing of the sort. If anything, you have taken everyone by surprise with how well you have adapted to the court life. And with how well you handle yourself among all these seemingly benign requests, attempts at one-upmanship, in-fighting, and lobbying thatâs constantly going on in this place.â
Kenshin blinked, looking up â King Koshijirou was smiling at her?
âNo, what I was trying to say,â King paused, hesitating for just a moment. âI didnât give you the best welcome, and Iâm sorry for it. If you would allow me the chance, I would like to redeem myself to you.â
But that â that wasâŚ. that didnât make any sense!
King Koshijirou had reacted like any father would have, when he heard his only daughter had decided to propose to a stranger, who wasnât even a proper woman, not like people had grown to understand the gender, after knowing them one day. If anything, King Koshijirouâs reaction had been tame. He had just said he thought Kaoru had made a reckless decision, and then walked away, without shouting once.
Kenshin twisted her hands. âIt⌠It was your right. You were only concerned, that you were. â
âPerhaps. But as a reaction for the kind of man, the father I want to be? It was narrow-minded.â King Koshijirouâs gaze softened. âYou see, even if I donât understand you and the sacrifices you make to live as you do â I need to be able to accept that it isnât my place to question your or my daughterâs choices.â
âOh,â Kenshin swallowed, stunned.
King Koshijirou continued, âKaoru is my beloved daughter, the sunshine of my days â and I love her dearly. I trust her, and because of that, I need to also trust and value her choices, her judgment. Thatâs how it works. You canât expect trust, not without giving it in turn.â
There was something constricting Kenshinâs throat, a feeling so overwhelming that it was almost painful.
King Koshijirou placed his hands on her shoulders, âMy daughter thinks the world of you. I have watched her look at you with such an eager attention that anyone would be jealous. I have watched how you have made her laugh, how you have brought joy to her days, no matter how long or arduous her duties. I have seen her grow calmer, and learn to think before committing to the reckless decisions she would have once made without a second thought.â
âBut, my King,â Kenshin whispered. âT-this one hasnât done anything, reallyââ
âKenshin, just being here and living with us, you have already changed everything.â King Koshijirou said to her, his eyes serious. âThank you.â
And he hugged her closed, wrapping his arms around her.
Kenshin stared blindly at the solid chest her face was pressed into, her mind blank in shock â
âAnd given that you are going to be marrying my daughter today,â King Koshijirou said softly, âCould you please drop the titles and start calling me father? Or if it is too much and makes you feel uncomfortable, could you at least address me as something else than the King? I, too, am just a man, a father â and Iâd like to enjoy that when I can.â
Drawing a breath, Kenshin let herself to relax into the warmth of the hug. âT-this one will try to remember that⌠father.â
King Koshijirou straightened and shot her a pleased smile. âThank you, my dear.â
Kenshin looked down, feeling the heat on her cheeks.
âMy, my, no wonder Kaoru fell for you so fast!â King Koshijirou laughed. âI dare say the bards are going to be singing nothing but praise about our new Princessesâ beauty and grace quite some time. Not something I can fault them in the least.â
That wasnât about to make Kenshin any more coherent! She sputtered. âBut this one⌠is it truly okay for you? That is to say, that one like this,â Kenshin waved at herself, âwould be a Princess?â
King Koshijirou paused. âWhy wouldnât it be? You are who Kaoru chose to stand beside her, in the good and the bad.â
âButâŚâ Kenshin tried again, âItâs such a grand title, for one born to a status so low, and-â
âKenshin,â King Koshijirou interrupted her. âDo you not want to become the Princess of Kingdoms Yamato and Ezzo?â
âN-no! I, this one- one means yes, one guesses, but,â Kenshin grimaced. âIsnât it too much?â
King Koshijirou hummed, thoughtful like he was actually listening to her. âFor most young women, to become the princess would be a dream come true. They would accept the title without a second thought. But you, even after living with us and being engaged to my daughter for almost a full year, you still question it?â
Kenshin bowed her head, chastised. âItâs just that, itâs such a heavy responsibility, thatâs all. People hear that title, and consider this oneâs words, as if expecting wisdom and the right to make a decision on the spot, that they do.â
âSo they do,â King Koshijirou agreed. âA princessâ word is a word only another member of the Royal Family can question. And though people wouldnât come to you with matters concerning the state, the ruling, the well being of the people â at least, not directly â itâs still a powerful thing to have that sort of weight in your every word and action.â
Kenshin nodded, wringing her hands. âPeople look up to this one, come asking for this oneâs opinions, about gardens, fashion, decorations, servantâs performance⌠A whole lot of things and if this one indicates one way or another, they take it as an order. Like the time they suddenly decided to redo the great dining room curtains because this one said Miss Kaoru enjoyed blue over purples.â
King Koshijirou burst into laughter. âSo thatâs why we got the new curtains! I had wondered if the purple offended your sensibilities, or if you simply wanted to make your mark on the castle. Which would be your right, most certainly.â
âOro?â
âThis is your home, the same as itâs mine or Kaoruâs.â King Koshijirou explained. âBesides, I wouldnât know anything about aesthetics. And Kaoru, as wonderful as she is, she has taken her role to the heart. Her interests are rather â ah, well â masculine. Iâm afraid she doesnât have much interest in refining her feminine viewpoint. So really, I would appreciate if you took time and reviewed the decorations. The castle is not only our home but serves a role as an official residence of the King. We wouldnât want to be seen as lacking in taste, or look like We are old-fashioned, you see. So please, do change things as you see fit.â
Not quite sure what to say to that, Kenshin paused and offered a curtsey. âAs my King commands.â
âPlease, just father â or Koshijirou, if you would.â
âYes, father.â Kenshin smiled.
âAnd about your hesitance to your suitability to bear the title,â the King mused, âthe fact that you realize the weight and responsibilities the title grants makes you a hundred times more suitable to the role than any youth seeing only the privileges of the position. So instead, having seen and lived through the hardships of my people, wouldnât you say it makes you more adept at giving suggestions on what we could do to improve their livelihoods?â
âOh.â Kenshin blinked. âThis one⌠One hadnât thought about it that way, that she hadnât.â
King Koshijirou smiled. âSo you see, even discounting the emotions, there are a great many logical reasons why you are not only good enough but perhaps even better suited to the role of the Princess than the other young women Kaoru met and evaluated before she fell in love with you.â He raised his hand to her shoulder and gave her a reassuring squeeze. âNo, youâll make a fine Princess to my kingdom â Iâll have no doubt about that.â
âIâŚâ Kenshin hesitated. âThank you, father.â
âThere we go.â
A loud knock on the suiteâs doors startled them both. âMy King, Lady Seijuurou,â Mrs. Taeâs voice called out. âLord Seijuurou told me to let you know that everything is ready for you.â
âAh!â King said. âThank you, Tae â weâll be with you shortly. Please, let Lord Seijuurou know that I shanât make his daughter late to her own wedding.â
âAs you wish, my King,â Mrs. Tae said.
King Koshijirou offered his arm to Kenshin. âShall we? After all, I did make quite a hefty promise to your lord father just now. It would be grounds for war, should I betray my word on a matter like this.â
âWe couldnât have that,â Kenshin huffed fondly, and reached to take the Kingâs arm for the very first time.
The King inclined his head, pleased and then escorted her out of the sanctuary of her suite.
As they walked side by side, their pace respectful of the pace Kenshin could manage to keep up with her high heels and the long, impressive train of her wedding dress, Kenshin couldnât feel even a hint of her earlier fears or doubts bothering her.
No, for the first time in this year she had lived in the grand castle, being stared and watched no matter where she went, what she did â she felt calm, at peace with her choices.
As Mrs. Tae had warned them, Hiko was pacing in front of the castleâs grand doors. That door would open to the castleâs garden, the avenue for the wedding that had been chosen to celebrate the scene of Prince Kaoruâs and Kenshinâs first meeting and the fantastic love story that had spurred forth from that moment.
âFinally,â Hiko scowled. âWasnât it supposed to be a little chat, not an hour-long private meeting? Your damn son has sent me a dozen messages already, asking whatâs the hold-up and donât even let me get started on Megumiâs comments-â
âSo it was,â King Koshijirou said. âBut sometimes, some discussions need to be given the time they need, no matter what important things are held up as result.â
âI see,â Hiko stated, his voice so dry that it could have seen as an insult.
King Koshijirou merely laughed it out. âIâll leave your daughter to you and be off, to let Kaoru know that we are ready.â
âYou do that,â Hiko said, his voice full of snark.
Even for Kenshin, it was unprecedented to see Hiko this frazzled and she had to look aside, lest she insult him by showing her amusement. Ever the perfectionist, Hikoâs high esteem of his own capabilities and his sincere attempt to try to get to know Kenshin once more, had ended up with him being far more invested in the wedding arrangements than anyone would have expected.
Though perhaps Miss Megumi had something to do with it, Kenshin mused. After all, even at his most temperamental, Hiko had never been quite as abrasive as he was with Megumi on daily basis. It was almost like it was on purposeâŚ
âKenshin,â Hiko cut her thoughts. âIs everything alright?â
âYes,â Kenshin said â and to her own surprise â she really meant it. âThis one is good, that she is.â
Hikoâs brows furrowed, but he nodded. "Very good.â After a momentâs silence, he cleared his throat pointedly and offered his arm to her. âLetâs get this thing over and done with.â
Seeing how uncomfortable he seemed, Kenshin couldnât hold back her smile any longer. She took his arm, this strange warmth spreading inside her chest. If even her adopted father, the man who couldnât stand the presence of people for long periods of time, who had never felt at ease with showing affection â he, too, was trying to overcome his discomfort for Kenshinâ s sake.
âThank you,â Kenshin said. âFor everything.â
Hiko raised his brow. âThe hell if I know whatâs going on in that head of yours,â he finally scoffed. "But youâre welcome. Now, draw a pretty smile to your lips and keep it up, because if you donât, Iâll guarantee someone will decide it means you dislike them.â
âYes, sir,â Kenshin said, straightened her back and drew her best, polite smile as instructed.
âGood girl,â Hiko muttered, and then pushed the doors open.
The sun was blinding, but Kenshin didnât allow herself the luxury of looking aside and blinking. The hundreds, no thousand faces turned towards them, watching their every step, their expressions, noting the slightest detail in their dress. No, in her. They were all looking at her, Kenshin realized.
The men and women, fathers and mothers, sons and daughters of noble blood, all the richest and most privileged people in the country, the representatives of all the great houses in kingdoms of Ezzo and Yamato, they all were here and they were looking at her.
There was Shishio family, the bandaged and much suffered Lord Shishio and by his side, Lady Yumi and their adopted children Soujiro and Megumi. The Shishiosâ expressions were tight, almost blatant with tension, well everyoneâs but Miss Megumiâs.
It was perfectly understandable, Kenshin told herself.
They walked forward. One step after another.
There was the family, whose son Hiko had once pushed Kenshin to try to befriend, in hopes of teaching her to network among her new caste.
There was the family, whose daughter Kaoru had introduced her, hoping that sheâd have some more friendsâŚ
Hell, there were even the Kamiyaâs greatest rivals, the heir of Makimachi clan, the honorable lady Makimachi Misao and her companion, Lord Shinomori Aoshi. They too were here, watching her.
Kenshin forced her back straighter, trying to make sure that she didnât slouch by mistake or stumble and fall and make a fool of herself in front of these great people.
Thankfully, the pathway was even, the sand swept until not even the oldest participant could stumble on it.
And there⌠there was Kaoru. Kenshin gasped in wonder, admiring her wife to be.
Miss Kaoru was waiting for her next to the altar, a most charming smile on her lips, hair brushed until it shone and tied at the nape of her neck with an indigo ribbon, wearing her best uniform⌠God, she took Kenshin breath away. No matter what Miss Kaoru wore, the uniforms and tall boots as befitting of her status, or the few times she had donned the most feminine lace gowns in the privacy of her rooms, Miss Kaoru had that effect on her, every single time.
Then they were there, and Kaoru bowed slightly and offered her handâ
Hiko nodded, giving his approval.
Kenshin smiled shyly and took Miss Kaoruâs hand, slipping her fingers between Kaoruâs and stepped to stand beside her at the altar.
The archbishop inclined his head respectfully and cracked the great old book in front of him open, addressing the crowd behind them with grand words. Frankly, his archaic speech was overstated and needlessly grand, but it served its purpose. And besides, there would have been a great many people who would have gotten apoplexy had Kenshin put her foot down and said what she thought about this particular part of the ceremony.
Miss Kaoru smiled at her, amusement glinting in her gaze. Most likely, she knew exactly what she was thinking.
Kenshin glanced aside, feeling a tinge of heat rising to her cheeks. Sometimes, it was like Miss Kaoru knew her too well. But then again, perhaps it was only a good thing. These days, there rarely were things left unsaid between them. No, more often than not, Miss Kaoru knew what was bothering her, or at least had good enough inkling about it and knew what to say to her.
The same, of course, worked in reverse.
While Kenshin had never been the best with words, this past year had been enough that nowadays she could see when Miss Kaoru was troubled, stressed or otherwise bothered. And more often than not, she could figure out a way to invite Miss Kaoru to discuss it or offer a suitable distraction.
âDo you, Prince Kamiya Kaoru swear to stay steadfast in your faith, and love Lady Seijuurou Kenshin in sickness and in health, come good or evil?
"I do,â Miss Kaoru said, her voice strong and sure.
âAnd do you, Lady Seijuurou Kenshin hereby swear to stay steadfast in your faith and swear loyalty to Prince Kamiya? Do you swear to love him from this day onward to forever more? Do you swear to give up all ties and bonds that would conflict with the wellbeing of the good people of kingdoms Yamato and Ezzo? And do you accept your role to support Prince Kaoru in his duties and loyalties and stand by his side as the Princess of the kingdom?â
Kenshinâs stomach lurched, shivers racing down her spine, the last vestiges of her fears and doubts raising their ugly heads. She drew a deep breath and met Miss Kaoruâs beautiful blue eyes, softened with sheer emotion of the moment.
Her heart swelled by the sight.
âI do,â Kenshin said, and realized that she meant it.
âThen, with the authority granted to me, I hereby declare you wed in the eyes of the law and the gods!â The Priest declared with a booming voice. Then he nodded and raised his hands in celebration. âPrince Kamiya, you may kiss the bride.â
Miss Kaoru turned to Kenshin, clasped her hands in her own and rose to her tiptoes to kiss her.
It was a simple touch, their lips pressing against each other like they had done hundreds of times during the past year, but this time, it felt electrifying â and it was over too soon.
Miss Kaoruâs eyes sparkled with good humor and she directed her to turn around. Together, side by side, they faced the crowd awaiting them.
Kaoru raised their hands, entwined. âLadies and gentlemen, please meet my wife â Princess Kamiya Kenshin.â
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The end. :)
#Rurouni Kenshin#kenkao#Kenshin Himura#Kaoru Kamiya#Kenshin x Kaoru#Samurai X#ruroken#fic:Cinderella#Rahmakapala's fics
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Free Audiobooks Are Included With Amazon Prime, But Which Books Are Available?
Audiobook fans, take note. Amazon Prime members can listen to free audiobooks â and we've picked out the top 10 from the hundreds available to you, so you can start listening now.
There was a bit of confusion a couple years back, Audible replaced Channels â a feature introduced in 2016, which allowed Amazon Prime members to access free audiobooks and programs, without subscribing to Audible â with with Audible Originals. Prime members were left wondering whether they could still access free audiobook content from Audible â and if so, how to go about it.
Fortunately, Prime members do indeed have access to free Audible content, thanks to Prime Reading: a service that provides Amazon Prime members with a rotating library of books and magazines that they can enjoy as part of their membership. Now, subscribers just have to look for Books with Audible Narration in Prime Reading, rather than Channels. The collection includes more than 250 Kindle Short Reads, Singles, and eBooks, at the time of this writing.
Below, 10 canât-miss audiobooks available for free with Prime.
The Paper Wife by Laila Ibrahim, narrated by Nancy Wu
In early 20th century China, Mei Ling's parents arrange a marriage to a wealthy, Chinese-American merchant named Chinn Kai Li. Their union is already a ruse, as Mei Ling must pretend to be her widowed husbandâs first wife in order to secure her American citizenship. When she arrives in San Francisco, however, she finds that her new husband has misrepresented himself to her and her parents. Rather than a merchant, Mei Ling has married a houseboy. To make matters worse, the orphaned girl she has befriended on her Transpacific journey, Siew, may soon be sold into sexual slavery.
Magic Bitter, Magic Sweet by Charlie N. Holmberg, narrated by Kate Rudd
An amnesiac baker with magical powers takes center stage in this novel from The Paper Magician author Charlie N. Holmberg. Maire knows how to bake feelings into confections, and how tasty treats can alter a person for the better. But when she's kidnapped from her village and enslaved to Allemas, Maire is forced to prepare evil treats â from a gingerbread house fit for a witch, to morsels that make a person grow larger or smaller. All the while, visits from the mysterious Fyel cause Maire to begin recovering memories of who she is... and what she's capable of.
Girls on the Line by Aimie K. Runyan, narrated by Kathleen Gati
When America is swept into World War I, Philadelphia socialite Ruby Wagner presses pause on her engagement to enlist as a "Hello Girl" in the wake of her soldier brother's death. Working as a telephone operator in France, Ruby gets a taste of life as an independent woman. But as a budding romance with an Army medic begins to bloom, Ruby must decide whether to return to her traditional life at home, or pursue a self-directed path.
Gateway to Fourline by Pam Brondos, narrated by Lauren Ezzo
While working at a costume store, broke college student Natalie accidentally discovers a gateway to another world hidden in the back of the business. This foreign place is the home of Nat's co-worker, Estos, and it is in dire need of saving. Teaming up with a band of rebellious exiles to save a magical kingdom sounds like a grand adventure, but Nat soon realizes that her mission may cost her everything if she isn't careful.
Evidence of the Affair by Taylor Jenkins-Reid, narrated by Julia Whelan, George Newbern, James Daniels, and Dara Rosenberg
In this epistolary work of short fiction from Daisy Jones and the Six author Taylor Jenkins-Reid, two people, Carrie and David, begin an intimate correspondence about the affair that their spouses are having with one other. At the same time, the adulterous lovers are having a conversation of their own. Evidence of the Affair is a beautiful and brutal story you won't want to miss out on.
The Good Twin by Marti Green, narrated by Dara Rosenberg
Mallory, a waitress and a down-and-out artist, isn't happy with the way her life is going. But her twin sister â a woman she never knew existed â appears to have won the life lottery: Charly is a gallery owner, an Ivy League alum, and the heiress to a large fortune. But when Charly's fiancĂŠ approaches Mallory with an offer that could irrevocably alter all of their lives, Mallory realizes that there are more secrets to uncover.
Stray: Memoir of a Runaway by Tanya Marquardt, narrated by the author
Tanya Marquardt ran away from home on her 16th birthday, sure that whatever awaited her outside of her home had to be better than what she was leaving behind. Published some 20 years later, Stray looks back on the years Marquardt spent alone, forging a new family, and pushing forward toward the future.
A Girl Divided by Ellen Lindseth, narrated by Emily Woo Zeller
In the midst of World War II, as China comes under threat from invading Japanese forces, a missionaryâs English-speaking daughter must leave the only home she has ever known and travel to the U.S. for the first time. Escorted by an American "flyboy" named Nathan, Eugenia sees the world for the first time as it is ravaged by war.
The Woman Who Breathed Two Worlds by Selina Siak Chin Yoke, narrated by Christine Rendell
As a young girl, Chye Hoon dreamed of going off to school, but societyâs social strictures prevented her from doing so. Coming to terms with her mixed Malayan and Chinese heritage, Chye Hoon learns to cook and keep house for her husband â a Chinese man with whom she will have many children. Having embraced the traditions of her ancestors, Chye Hoon is dismayed, much later in life, when her children begin to gravitate toward Western culture.
Rapid Falls by Amber Cowie, narrated by Kate Marcin
Two decades after her boyfriend died and her sister went to prison, Cara has managed to build a good life: a beautiful family, a home she can be proud of, and a successful career. When Anna's prison sentence ends, however, she emerges with demons to wrestle. Joining Caraâs life isnât easy, Anna realizes â especially given their disparate recollections of the night that changed their lives.
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[Ebook]^^ On Becoming Baby Wise Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep [PDF  mobi  ePub]
[Ebook]^^ On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep [PDF, mobi, ePub]
On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep
[PDF] Download On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep Ebook | READ ONLINE
Author : Gary Ezzo Publisher : Parent-Wise Solutions, Inc. ISBN : 1932740139 Publication Date : 2012-2-1 Language : Pages : 279
To Download or Read this book, click link below:
http://read.ebookcollection.space/?book=1932740139
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Synopsis : [Ebook]^^ On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep [PDF, mobi, ePub]
Scientists can put a man on the moon but they can not answer the most basic question of early parenting: how to have a happy and contented baby who sleeps continually through the night like the rest of the family and a mother who is not in a perpetual state of exhaustion. Now, moms and dads need look no further than On Becoming Babywise. Babywise is an exciting infant management plan that successfully and naturally helps infants synchronize their feeding, wake time and nighttime sleep cycles. Find out what four million grateful parents worldwide have already learned. Discover the positive prescription for curing sleepless nights and fussy babies. Recommended by doctors across the country.
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