#also this literally took like 6 hours
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Suki - Chimera Falin amv
I present before you: The Chimera Falin Edit.
#This took me like prolly 6 or so hours to do so feast well y'all and take ur meds and drink water#had to get in that “WOAH HEY” somehow#tiddies out for falin (and marcille she would love to see them)#anime watchers not finna get the uardlle joke but manga readers y'all BETTER LAUGH OR ITS BACK TO NO CONTENT.#if the manga readers dont laugh im never finna acknowledge them again and this will be their only acknowledgement from me good day /jjjj#if you caught the lesbian flag being in front of marcille at the end you are entitled to a kiss on the forehead and a membership to the +#farcille fanclub below#fun fact: I had to MAKE THAT FUCKING MARCILLE REACTION IMAGE MYSELF WHY WAS IT NOT ALREADY A THING#TOOK UP SO MUCH TIME.#also thank whoever reads the tags y'all are my favorite pookies#farcille#falin thorden#falin dungeon meshi#falin dunmeshi#falin touden#dungeon meshi#marcille donato#marcille dunmeshi#marcille dungeon meshi#marcille x falin#falin x marcille#chimera falin#falin chimera#faligon#dragon falin#delicious in dungeon amv#falin delicious in dungeon#marcille delicious in dungeon#oh also ig toshiro is here but i dont care about that man good night.#if you saw this last tag im literally giving you a kiss.
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Posting my ol' Dr. Habit doodles because I'm a little gay for him and I also just really like Smile for Me as a whole 😁.
It's such a silly and cool little game and I would definitely play it again (I'm actually holding myself back though because I finished it in one night during the beginning of this month 💀).
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Oh and here's a stupid little comic type thing with Habit and my sona that I originally didn't intend to add to but I ended up doing so anyway 🧍.
#smile for me#smile for me game#smileforme#s4m#dr habit#dr boris habit#boris habit#my art#akikothefuzzball#silly hours#yes I would kiss the puppet#and habit ofc but 🤫#thinking back on it I think it took me like 6 hours to beat the game#I was going feral bro#I literally couldn't stop playing it#I WAS ON A MISSION#not only did I want to beat the game's main story but I ALSO NEEDED TO SEE MY BABYGIRL#I'm normal#teehee#oh yea I might have to keep posting from the web because for some reason tumblr just doesn't let me post on my phone???#which is super annoying but whatever I can learn to deal with it#minor inconvenience
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Song: Hourglass by Set it Off
*Ringing bell* ANGST HERE COME GET YOUR ANGST
So, um. I had the idea of the last audio but no other ideas. So this was 90% done on the fly ngl. I still like it. I wasn't totally happy with the song choice when I landed on it but it. It works.
Anyway someone tell my brain to take a goddamn break from editing oh my gosh (<- has more angst planned already)
#can't believe it took me this long to think to use DSMP audio for angst#how did it take me that long#also screwed with a few video/audio settings#mostly audio#I think it turned out alright#rottmnt edit#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#rottmnt raph#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt angst#alright time to do literally anything else brain please#I also got this idea at 4 IN THE FUCKING MORNING#AFTER spending like 6 hours on a different edit#brain please why are you like this
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If I thought the Transformers (Aligned) timeline was convoluted, god the Trollhunters timeline is fucked beyond all hell, and worse of all because they use Merlin - bloody MERLIN - as a character that created the amulet there's an upper limit of time Trollhunters have existed before, heck even Myrddin Wyllt his welsh name (and canonical alternate name in the show), Merlin stops being the Merlin from human myth and starts becoming Merlin a similarly named folkloric character in troll myth-
I wonder if I, a fan coming in at minimum 2023, am arriving to this a little late but- if this isn't going to be a timeline rewrite then let me complain about how specific canonical details contradict with one another, including the glaringly obvious issue of Wizard's addition to the timeline, making Deya the Deliverer the first Trollhunter and thus practically erasing most of the historical Trollhunters or conforming to fit them all in a timeline of 900ish years.
I'll address the elephant in the room when we get to it, but let's set up the basics, both for me and any viewer not already in the know (given that my audience is mostly from transformers and ben 10, I'd say it's a lot of you).
Trolls and humans got off to a bad start, humans living on the surface and trolls having originated from a realm called the Darklands, accessible from a bridge (a gateway) Kilahead bridge. Like with any civilisation there are good and bad trolls, the baddest being Orlagk the Oppressor, leader of the Gumm-Gumms. Having been introduced to the surface, trolls fought with the humans who already lived on it creating the War for the Surface Lands, and their fighting lead the first Heartstone (a gigantic magical gem that serves as the centre of troll caverns, healing them and providing power) to corrupt and birth Gunmar. This war lasted for millennia, Gunmar taking over leadership of the Gumm-Gumms after slaying Orlagk at some vague point, up until the Battle of Kilahead Bridge where the Gumm-Gumms were sealed away in the Darklands again thanks to the Trollhunter Deya the Deliverer.
Okay, sure, that doesn't sound very bad at first, up until you realise that the Battle of Kilahead Bridge was 900 years prior to the series (2016 was it's release date) and thus in the year 1116 AD give or take; the legend of Merlin as a magician, a wizard, was in the 12th century which would've been instead at minimum 1300 AD that's 200 years of difference. Not to mention Angor Rot - a character and antagonist in the show - came begging for magic to stop Gunmar's armies from destroying more and more independant troll tribes, like his own, in 1200 AD at least. Why in the fucking hell would Angor Rot bother to risk his own soul asking for magic, from a sorcerer known as (among many things) the Eldritch Queen, if Gunmar and his Gumm-Gumms were already kept within the Darklands. Gunmar's son Bular, the one Gumm-Gumm to not be banished, is surely not that much of a threat to not one but multiple villages it would send someone to the doorstep of the Pale Lady. In addition, Angor Rot was responsible for killing at least a few Trollhunters, one known and named being Voltar the Voracious, who was the only Trollhunter given an exact year of choosing in 1578. And the fucker is listed BEFORE Deya on the wiki but that alone doesn't mean anything, however she does die in 1620 to Bular, 396 years before the show.
Alright then, so you look at Merlin's mythological existence and go 'now what about the whole thing about millenia' because 12th century doesn't allow the War for the Surface Lands to have a Trollhunter, even with 11 named Trollhunters that come presumably before Deya (Unkar the Unfortunate, despite being trained by Blinky who in human standards - assuming his human body tells us his age - is probably about middle age give or take, fought in the time Gumm-Gumms were still around even if slain by Bular). Given that Trollhunters itself references Merlin's original Welsh name Myrddin (and his in show last name is Ambrosius, which would be Emyrs in the original Welsh, as opposed to Wyllt for 'of the wild), I thought that potentially looking into when Myrddin first came around I would be able to get a better timeline; Myrddin Wyllt was said to have been born - and not just the legend - in 540 AD, which gives between that and 2016 1476 years to work with, allowing the 400ish years ago that Deya died (and the 438 years from when Voltar had the amulet) and the millenia's worth of war the War for the Surface Lands took.
Done deal, right?
Well guess what, some fucker named Spar the Spiteful (not even the first Trollhunter like Deya so proclaims to be) died 5200 years before Jim, our protagonist and first HUMAN Trollhunter, ever picked up the mantle. 5200 years before 2016 is the bloody fucking 4th millenium BC. This period included the beginnings of the Bronze Age, and was the bloody time WRITING was invented! And in Spar's time, there was no DOMESTIC HORSES! HORSE RIDING DIDN'T BLOODY EXIST WHEN SPAR DIED HOW FUCKED IT THAT!?
God FUCKING DAMN IT!
Fine, I can work with this.
Merlin in the show is all the old man we think of him as in myth, but he's also still old when we go back in time to when the Battle of Kilahead Bridge takes place, albeit it without a full head of grey hairs (how does the old man age more than his teen/young adult apprentice) potentially as a young sorcerer/wizard/whatever they use these terms interchangeably, Merlin or Myrddin created the Amulet of Daylight. You could even give more wriggle room between whenever trolls came to the surface and when Merlin made the amulet, because although Orlagk was a figure explicitly older than Gunmar, there is no mention of an amulet without Gunmar simply a time when he was still not a leader. In fact, given that Merlin's original name - Myrddin - came from a riddle designed with the intent to kill Gunmar, a piece informing the Trollhunter teams how to kill Gunmar rather than Orlagk the original leader, perhaps it's befitting to make Myrddin technically younger than the trolls; given that the original purpose of the Amulet of Daylight was not to kill Gunmar but to protect trolls, seeing as how one of the keys to Gunmar's destruction is a Triumbric Stone (one of 3) that resulted in the death of Orlagk, the amulet can date to before Gunmar and have been made after the Gumm-Gumms took out their rage on other trolls instead of humans alone.
The Trollhunter after Spar the Spiteful was Boraz the Bold, named that specifically for taking on 1000 Gumm-Gumms, was killed by Bular who was - as I said - Gunmar's son. While that does not mean that Spar the previous Trollhunter existed before Bular did, it does mean that by the time Boraz was selected after Spar's position Bular was competent enough to slay a Trollhunter, especially one as 'Bold' as Boraz who felled a thousand Gumm-Gumms before falling to 1001. It would mean that his father Gunmar would be much older, potentially tracking further and further back in time and putting Orlagk's death deeper and deeper into the War for the Surface Lands, potentially even aligned Orlagk's death and the Triumbric Stone's creation to a period humans heard of Myrddin, the death of Orlagk potentially landing in 540 AD, perhaps even in 573 AD where an actual battle took place, the Battle of Arfderydd; this details a Riderch Hael, King of Alt Clut (Stratclyde, a Brittonic kingdom in northern... well... Britain, which got annexed in the 11th century AKA 1000 AD to become part of the emerging Kingdom of Scotland) slaughtering the forces of a Gwenddoleu ap Ceidio, Myrddin having gone mad watching that defeat.
The remaining named Trollhunters, ones that weren't explicitly dated and timed, are in a bullshit order on the Wiki that I just have to piece together what is being said to put together a timeline.
Maddrux the Many, he/him in the show and she/her in the comics, was canonically an active Trollhunter before another, Araknak the Agile, was either born or an actual functioning adult; Araknak is the ancestor of the previously mentioned (and assumed to be) middle aged Blinkous Galadrigal and his brother (an older brother or twin depending on who you quote) Dictatious Maximus Galadrigal, the pair being present for the Battle of Kilahead Bridge and still alive by 2016 and idk about Tatious but Blinky appears in 2017 or at least whenever RoTT takes place. To use the term ancestor instead of grandparent or even parent, which technically ancestor can be used on either anyway, means that the exact family history is undetermined. However, we can place Maddrux at the very least on the timeline where Orlagk was still active in, seeing as that was her major enemy in the comics.
At the end of her service instead of going directly to Araknak, a Trollhunter preceded him in Magmar the Molten, the only known mountain troll to be a wielder of Daylight. Interesting to note, Araknak learnt from Magmar a certain combat move so, even before his selection by the amulet Araknak was already preferring the lifestyle of a warrior in comparison to his scholar parents; a trait that outlasted the warrior spirit and descended to the Galadrigals however many years later. Mentioned specifically as preceding not only Araknak but Tellad-Urr, we have another date to place as Tellad-Urr the Triumphant - very soon to be Tellad-Urr the Terrible - was active until 501 CE where Orlagk was still alive; how convientient. It helps that Gogun the Gentle - his immediate successor - would be the only Trollhunter to die of old age, potentially because Gunmar was too busy killing Orlagk and Orlagk too busy being dead for either of them to do anything.
Hopefully Gogun was already an old fart because the oldest recorded troll Chokeenamaga lived to 5352 years and I have no idea if that's slightly above average, notably old, or specific to a troll type (like for example, mountain trolls may have the longest average lifespan of all trollkin), and it's not like I can look at the show for any reference because Draal the Deadly, son of Kanjigar the Couragous and the previous Trollhunter did not age between 900 years yet there are no troll whelps in modern Trollmarket, let alone the fact that the Battle of Kilahead Bridge according to our established Trollhunters could not have happened before 1578 but must have happened between then and 1620. And Draal is an adult in modern day but is rather impulsive and I do not know if that is simply a troll trait or the trait of a twenty something year old that should've had a different design in the past but couldn't because of the limitations of 3D show animation (Prime fans would know or at least see visually that you can't just design a cybertronian version of a bot's root mode without things getting expensive, it's why Skyquake couldn't fly despite looking the same before and after alt mode acquisition).
Speaking of age, this is also the time where Aaarrrgghh!!! was a teenager, which either means that Blinky is actually much younger than Aaarrrgghh!!! or there is another Trollhunter or few between Araknak the Agile and Tellad-Urr the Terrible; 5200 years is a lot of grounds to cover, especially with a Trollhunter dying of age between it. Tellad-Urr has an appearance similar to Kanjigar, and given that it's a book cover rather than a 3D model there may be grounds for him being of the same tribe as Kanjigar if not an ancestor like Araknak to Blinky. It could work give or take, especially since 'ancestor' is less of an official word and more of a footnote for someone's opinion, but it isn't word of god nor anything found in any media.
And keeping with age (last one I promise) Gorgus the Gorgeous, referenced in terms used by modern trolls 'By Gorgus' or 'Great Gorgus', was one of the youngest Trollhunters to be chosen. Whether he was younger than Jim Lake Jr, 16 years old at his time of getting the amulet, depends on what the hell the age of 24 fucking means to a troll. Is it the equivalent of 24 years in troll years? If so then why the hell does he begin training 32 troll years later at age 56 if he wasn't chosen to have the amulet at 24 human years old. What is 24 human years to a troll. NotEnrique, a changeling (troll whelp cursed to change into a human, can do so at will) is canonically a few centuries old, and he is fresh from the Darklands after replacing a human baby Enrique. He at a few centuries old is able to throw and host a troll party at his age, and maybe changeling's age differently and a changeling hosting a troll party would be very new because haha discrimination, but no troll flinches at the concept. And a few centuries could be considered more than 2 (being a few it's already more than 1) so the more centuries you tack on to this college type frat party host the more and more Gorgus' age becomes terrifyingly young like exorbitantly so.
If a few centuries means 'ability to host a party where full grown trolls do keg stands' then 24 probably means whelp, baby, a fucking toddler by troll standards, assuming changelings follow troll aging standards against their human mimicking physical development standards. If a 24 year old Trollhunter is only ONE OF the youngest Trollhunters, who was the youngest? Predestined at bloody birth!? Gorgus started training at age 56, presumably when he was old enough to wield a sword, being trained by none other than Kanjigar himself; Gorgus died during training when a group of Gumm-Gumms attacked, an arrow hitting him in the head. If NotEnrique was an adult, or at the very least on the cusp of it, at a few centuries old - more than 1, probably more than 2 - then what of someone at age 56, less than a few centuries, less than one. Whether Kanjigar was a father at the time or not, loosing a kid under his guidance - to death no less - would've stuck with anyone. Why was this child sentenced to death, and so young too. One can argue all the Trollhunters to failed to live up to legacy, who became their own version of Unkar the Unfortunate, were sentenced to death and fated to die young. Gogun may have defied fate and beat the ticking clock, but Gorgus the Gorgeous - a gorgeous child, a son to parents that will never see their little boy again - proved that there is no outrunning the clock for the bells toll for thee.
If Unkar was before Gorgus, then it is to be presumed that by dying on his first night - after 6 hours of training - that Gorgus the Gorgeous was failed by Blinkous in the same way Unkar had been. The next Trollhunter in line was summoned too soon, so because of Blinky's failure the trolls against Gumm-Gumms were without a defender, potentially reducing the remaining candidates for better trainers by slaughtering them before the Trollhunter was of age. If Unkar was after Gorgus, then Kanjigar needed to step away from training, even as it was his task given to the aging elder Rundle, potentially a younger but very busy Vendel, an elder by proxy of everyone else dying on the edges of Gumm-Gumm blades. He couldn't sacrifice another child to death, and as the amulet falls onto the arrogant overconfident Unkar, Kanjigar could not bare to have stone dust on his hands again. Blinkous Galadrigal (there is no mention of Dictatious despite the presence of Gumm-Gumms in Unkar's time) is tasked to train Unkar, to teach him the tennants of Trollhunter and put to good use his scholarly teachings and pray that the soul of his Trollhunter ancestor guides him. Unfortunately - as Unkar will be enshrined in by title - you cannot let a scholar do a warrior's duty.
However way it plays out, Blinky was young (or at least younger), and his failure marked his reputation for centuries.
There is a Grimbald the Grave, trained with Kanjigar AND Deya, which would definitely place that before 1620 and potentially before 1578; Voltar wasn't mentioned to have been trained by either, but given that he was the last Trollhunter before Deya (at the very least in close proximity), Grimbald most likely came before. Now this seems like a non-issue, if you consider Grimbald against our timeline nothing seems to be wrong, potentially Kanjigar's age since he's been around for a while but his son's an adult in the modern day so he could potentially be older than Blinky who knows. But I have an elephant to address and since it's been so long since I brought it up it's been drinking tea this whole time.
Wizards, the third installment of the Tales of Arcadia series, sequel to Trollhunters, introduces to audiences that Deya the Deliverer was originally Callista the Calamity, a troll who's tribe had been wiped out by humans and had been living in human custody since she was a whelp (or of an age that she had forgotten her name). Deya makes the timeline such a mess, because her first appearance in the comics, she was of an age where Rundle - Vendel's father - was the elder of Glastonbury Tor Trollmarket at the time of Deya, the Trollmarket before Dwoza which is the Trollmarket before Arcadia. Rundle was around in 501 AD, but it was his father Kilfred who was the elder and his son Vendel was of age enough to help in consulting, however old that is. In Wizards however, Vendel was the elder of Dwoza before Deya was Deya and when Callista was still an outcast, and even then he was only the elder by proxy, signs of his father Rundle or of Kilfred missing. Of course however Rundle could have been elder of Dwoza, as his father before him was elder of Glastonbury Tor, simply that he was potentially slain potentially died of old age and that Vendel being one of the few older than most of the Dwozan trolls took over in his father's stead.
The issue with Deya is that I really like the Callista part of her backstory, of being an outsider, an outcast, in the world of trolls that still hated humanity but held a deeper fear of the Gumm-Gumms. Diaspora for trolls, Callista the Calamity is seen as a human pet despite her wanting to find her way home, a home she can never go back to because it had been destroyed long ago; the one place that she could be accepted don't because they see her as too human, a far cry to being called a monster by humans but certainly not relieving. But she had become Deya, and found her footing as the Deliverer, by turning the Trollhunter from a single force to fighting alone to rallying a bunch of... gravellors? (Whatever, I like to think of Dwoza as essentially a refugee tribe given it's diversity in comparison to the Krubera tribe who are only krubera and the Quagawump tribe who are only - save for the generic troll king Angor killed - quagawumps) to fight one last fight against the Gumm-Gumms and ending the War for the Surface Lands.
...SO... that probably means that Grimbald was trained exclusively by Kanjigar after the whole Unkar and/or Gorgus ordeal and eventually got the Trollhunter's amulet himself when Deya was slain, her sacrifice delivering the migrating trolls of Dwoza a chance to get to the New World (or the Americas). Oh and their migration was after Vendel and some king wrote a truce called 'The Pact', which - I mean - it's described as a feeble truce and with a name like that I don't blame it, where they promise to stop eating humans and limited their diet to cats and used clothes which well- they might've broke on the journey to the New World because hiding in the cramped ballast of a 1600s era boat isn't fun nor is it fast. But regardless-
I think for a sense of cohesion, let me pull out an almost timeline for this post.
Trolls who had previously been in the Darklands somehow get to the surface
Tensions between trolls and the already present humans grows beginning the War for the Surface Lands
The intensity of the war corrupts the first Heartstone, giving birth to Gunmar
A young wizard Myrddin creates the Amulet of Daylight and gifts it to the good trolls
Spar the Spiteful gets the amulet. He dies 5200 years ago
Boraz the Bold gets the amulet. He dies to Bular, Gunmar's son.
Maddrux the Many gets the amulet
Magmar the Molten, the first mountain troll Trollhunter, gets the amulet
Araknak the Agile, ancestor to Blinkous and Dictatious Galadrigal, gets the amulet
Tellad-Urr the Triumphant, turned Tellad-Urr the Terrible, gets the amulet. He is killed in 501 AD
Gogun the Gentle gets the amulet.
Orlagk the Oppressor is slain by Gunmar. Gunmar loses an eye
Gogun dies of old age.
Angor Rot makes a pact with the Pale Lady, trading his soul for her magic
Unkar the Unfortunate gets the amulet. He dies 6 hours later
Gorgus the Gorgeous, one of the youngest Trollhunters, gets the amulet. He dies at age 56
Grimbald gets the amulet
Voltar the Voracious, born of two minds, gets the amulet in 1578. He dies to Angor Rot and his soul is stolen
Deya the Deliverer, previously Callista the Calamity, gets the amulet
The Battle of Kilahead Bridge is fought. Gunmar is defeated and the Gumm-Gumms (+ Dictatious Galadrigal) are trapped in the Darklands
Deya dies against Bular, last remaining Gumm-Gumm on the surface, in 1620
Kanjigar the Couragous, trainer of many Trollhunters, gets the amulet. He dies to Bular in 2016
James Lake Junior gets the amulet, and the events of the series take place
So, members of the Trollhunter fandom, how'd I do? If you stuck around this long, welcome to my gimmick, long posts :)
Hoo boy how should I tag this?
#trollhunters#toa#rambling#headcanon#idk this is a timeline rewrite but not a rewrite yaknow#like i'm interested in what the book timeline might have to offer#but idk#this took me several hours to write#give or take 4 hours maybe#not every trollhunter in the history of trollhunting is named because not every trollhunter has been listed#and kanjigar is only noted as the trainer of trollhunters because he's the one trollhunter to have experience with trollhunting i suppose#also- its one thing to have longevity as a species (i come from the transformers fandom those robots are fucking old)#it's another to have fathers and ancestors and dying of old age without considering how that shit works#like the oldest lived troll is in the 5 thousands right? is it the equivalent of 100 years old for humans?#like is the typical age of an elder troll 4000? is it just as likely they might cark it at 3000?#that's 80 and 60 in human terms- maybe the common age of an elder troll is 3500 at a human 70 equivalent#24 years in comparison to 5000 years is like a 6 month old human baby#56 compared to 5000 is 1 year old but surely that is not the case#trolls are apparently born egg-like... as egg-like taking a piece of each other literally and putting them together as one object#that eventually hatches into a troll whelp is egg-like... the parts i mean are heartstones which i think are hearts#draal is described to have hatched this way with ballustra and kanjigar splitting their heartstones#what the hell are gronknuts then meta answer kicking people between the legs is integral to kid comedy#okay i'm going to stop looking at my screen i don't have a mirror but my eyes feel like they're red
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helluo trick or treat luca :) if yuo have time
#i have snuck away from a family mandated halloween party to draw this i think u can tell#i think ive thrown my back out leaning over tables today why are 6 year olds so fucking short help m e#also yes i made this loop pumpkin literally right now which is why its so ungodly shoddy i took like an hour legit#anyway i have to go again by I CANT EVEN FUCKING BOOP LET ME OUUTTTT I GHAVE LESSONS TO PLAN LET ME OUUUU#lucabytetalks
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my average drawing time for a single character drawing is around 8 hours btw. but my ranking of longest times would be
^ around 37 hours (2023)
^about 30 hours (2022)
^ 23 and a half hours (2021)
^almost 16 hours (2019)
^ 15 and a half hours (2024)
^ a little over 13 hours (2021)
^ slightly under 13 hours (2023)
^almost 11 hours (2024)
^ 10 hours (2023)
#'akire only 3 of these are not aru sekai related' i LITERALLY only have patience when it comes to aru sekai series im no tkidding#shout out to kaf/u maximizer taking exactly 10 hours . 0 minutes according to krita#i think the first magu anni art should also be on this but unfortunately i think i saved it wrong at one point#bc it just says 6 hours which is NOT true i took a whole month on and off for that its probably more around the risru art but#we will never know#long post im not read more-ing u WILL see my art#im losing my mind looking at times like what do u MEAN i used to finish things in 4 hours.#do u know how much art i would put out if i could still finish something in 4 hours#id be posting art at an obnoxious rate. the aru sekai & kamitsubaki fandoms would not know peace#akire draws sometimes
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Uhhh Not sure if this is tmi. Sorry, but I apparently DID relapse, actually. Uh-
I'm just sorta talking about it for some reason below the cut because I can't explain this to my roommates or anyone tbh. Because I don't know how to explain my mental health. And like what- HOW THE FUCK DO I NOT REMEMBER.
Mmmmmmmmm- Okay. Yep.
Forgot that happened.
Was wondering why my arm felt so itchy...
My wrist/forearm looks like it got clawed to shit by a cat.
Soooo...
Well, fuck.
There goes that whatever-amount-of-time-without.
Guess I'm starting over again.
Even if I don't remember doing it, I still fucking did. So... oh fucking well...
These look like hell on my fucking arm. What the fuck did I even DO?
Uh... mod fails don't relapse challenge?
#REGARDS: MOD 💜 💙#not asks#cw relapse#cw sh mention#cw sharp objects#i literally somehow forgot that i fucking relapsed...#i only noticed it once i took off my hoodie cause i got too hot#and jesus fuck my arm is hell...#probably tmi#literally just took off my hoodie and went UHHHHHHHHH for like 5 fuckin minutes cause WHEN THE FUCK DID I DO ALL THAT SHIT#cw caps#I'm fine now I'm actually out of the “i can't feel or remember things” dissociative fugue state i was stuck in for like... 6 or like 8 hour#I'M JUST APPARENTLY NOT PHYSICALLY FINE BECAUSE APPARENTLY IN THAT FUGUE I FUCKING RELAPSED???#this blog is now apparently also part mental health journey and honestly uhhh#it didn't even do anything i don't think? but I'm not sure cause those hours are blank to my head.#cw dissociation#cw amnesia
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y’all I am losing my mind
#Who WAS that#This is driving me insane#Ran into someone who was like “we have met! We went skating together awhile ago!”#And I was like “oh! With *redacted* figure skating club?” And they said no???#But??? When- where??? I skate at 6 am???? When the rink is dead empty???#There’s one person I can think of who I used to skate with in the mornings but I swear that wasn’t her????#But was it???#I haven’t talked to her in forever and texting her now would be akward as hell I think#Particularly becuase that interaction happened like a full day ago#And in my head I was like “oh we must have been skating together on a school group skating trip years ago”#Y’all. I did not go on that trip. I went to a trampoline park. It took my a full 18 hours to be like “wait I literally have never done that#Also that would have been in like??? Middle school??? I have no idea why I thought I went on that trip#It would also have been more than “awhile” ago#Anyways. Driving me insane.#I swear that girl lives in a much different area???#I am so confused now#I guess it has been like two three years since I’ve seen her? So maybe???#Anyways I’ll just wait for FS news to break then text it to her like it hasn’t been months#Also I have zero concept of time and space while I’m working#I can barely muster human emotion much less recognize a face
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scanlations are so funny
"hi I'm picking up this series!!! btw I'm TLing from thai bc I couldn't find the jp raws, oh and also I don't know thai or japanese ^_^ ok enjoy!!!!!!!!"
#coyo speaks#hdbdjdbsjs#also while scrolling through bl I saw no.6#and like#yeah#but also imagine picking no.6 up knowing nothing except it's tagged BL jdbdjsbsjsk#I can say shit bc that was literally me downloading dmmd when I was 15 gdbdbdjdbdjdldbs#can't*#but also I can say shit bc I know firsthand how funny that is in hindsight#also to whine more about browsing bl manga online#why are all the top rated omegaverse manga about raising a child#I have like... no interest in sappy domestic family stories#not that kids in a story are ALWAYS bad...#I still think about that one manga about the quack doctor and the guy who's nearly dead body he dragged home to use for traditional medicine#and how they were both abandoned and they found a kid who they thought had been abandoned and they took him in#and tried to give him the home and family they'd never had#I can't remember if I yelled about that manga there#here*#I must have#I just clicked it bc it sounded weird#and then found myself emotionally devastated by the intense found family & trauma healing I just sat through hours later#the setup does NOT prepare you for what you're getting into#ugh (pos.)
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this annoying ass insect was flying around my room all night and I couldn’t sleep because of it so I ended up watching musicals until I managed to kill the darn thing. and now it’s morning and I have had no sleep send help
#like it was so darn hard to kill because it kept flying around and didn’t want to land anywhere#literally took me 6 hours to kill sob#which translates to roughly three 2-hour musicals#ALSO I nearly stepped on a gigantic af spider when I tried to go to toilet#and there was a daddy long legs on my headphone case#good chance it stepped on my grelle plushie at some point becuz she was right next to my headphones#:((((((
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Every time I bond with someone, after some time I've seen all their flaws and I don't love them like I used to, and I feel a sense of alienation,
Even though they haven't done anything wrong, I just... grow tired of them
And that's why I don't think I'm capable of love. There hasn't been a person yet I've wanted to keep a strong bond with after a long period of time
#this is about my coworkers lol#and todays hike#like im a bit petty because they kept rushing and i kept saying that were going too fast bc of all the km ahead#and at first i tried to follow them but at one point i grew to tired and said fuck it#so i lagged behind at my own pace and they had to wait for me after they had gone ahead for a couple of times#and at one point they took a piss break and i was like nope. im going. youre going to catch up with me#and so they did#anyway never going hiking with coworkers again#we actually had another hike before which was cool and we went slowly but today idk. shit#at least quitting will be less hard now lol#also im so tired of them. they keep gossiping about everyone and i literally dont care#but also this post is about my past friendhips too. the girl with the falling out.#maybe there is one friend im cool with and will be cool with forever bc we meet like 2 times a year and dont bother each other with the#every day details of our lives.#so im not sure i could actually love anyone to the point id like to live with them for the rest of my life.#like thats the ideal fantasy goal but in reality i dont think i can handle people#anyway im still pissed about the hike. even with lunch in between we finished it in 6 hours instead of the 8-10hours stated in the guide#like why the fuck would you rush through a hike? its not a marathon and i have short legs aaaahhhhh#sorry but yall long since knew youre following erins life blog right okay love you
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i've been referred to the hospital's psych clinic ! yay !
#and it only took a 6 month long mental health spiral culminating in a mental breakdown and a 12 hour stay in the ER !#like 9 of those hours were literally Just Waiting. because the ontario health system is definitely not broken.#side note. why the FUCK are the ER psych ward security guards dressed like cops#like they're actually indistinguishable#also you'd think. what with being security guards in an emergency psych unit. they'd have to be trained on deescalation. right?#but evidently they are NOT#because i was woken up by them arguing with another patient#she was yelling and not making sense and making a scene etc. CLEARLY in acute emotional distress.#and the fucking security guards were ARGUING with her. they were like. actively ESCALATING the situation. what the fuck man#i think the nurse did his best to deescalate but unfortunately couldn't really do much at that point#i just hope that those guards got chewed out for doing that. and that the woman is actually receiving treatment now and not being harassed#lamp speaks#uhhhh i should probably tag mental health stuff as such so folks can filter it if they need#so#lamp's mental health tag
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can college just like, pause for a moment. I wanna catch up on linktober :(
#josh talks#college as always is kicking my ass#god i wish homework weren't a thing#like i do admit sometimes it can be helpful. like in math i really do need to do homework#cuz i have a shit memory so i really do need to practice#but most homework!! is meaningless busy work!!!!!#read one of my class's syllabi (?) and it said to be ready to spend 6-12 hours a week on homework outside of class#like bro wtf#i literally almost didnt graduate highschool because of homework.#like my grade of in class work would be really really good but i literally failed so many classes because of homework#and nothing else#shoutout to my chem teacher who was the first to realize that it wasn't laziness#he came up to me and pointed out all my grades of in-class assignments and they were literally all 100%#so like. he knew i knew this stuff but he also knew that it likely wasnt laziness or i probably wouldnt be doing#quite that well in in-class stuff too#like he told me that i knew what i was doing. and he told me that he knew i was smart and capable#and it really meant a lot to hear that from a teacher.#cuz he wasn't saying this stuff to then just express disappointment in me not completing homework or anything#no he was a little concerned about me and wanted to help#and i hadn't ever really had a teacher tell me something like that before without a “but...”#some of my favorite teachers ive ever had are the ones who aren't afraid to compliment their students#more teachers need to learn that telling your students that theyve done well is a really good thing to do#cuz goddamn all throughout our education we are only ever told negative things#only ever get points knocked off. only ever get criticism and things to do better next time#i remember the first time i ever got feedback on an english essay that was positive#took me until junior year of highschool. cuz up until then my essays either needed a lot of work#or met the requirements and thus didn't need any comments made on it. cuz for some reason school is allergic#to telling students anything that isn't negative#it was baffling to get comments on what i did well. on my strengths in writing (that i didnt even know i had!)#and even just to be told that it was an enjoyable read
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hairdresser fuckkked me over. guess I have to do everything myself in this got damn economy.
#also took literally two and a half hours to do LESS than something which should have taken one hr#even though I showed her pictures and was very specific#sigh#first time in a hairdresser in like 6 months now I remember why I don't like going
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size kink
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Pairing | Jason Todd x reader
Summary | He as a size kink. That’s it lol.
Warnings | Smut, size kink, manhandling, praise, creampie, gaping, cockwarming.
Words | 1k
Notes | 😵💫 that fucking comic panel tho
Ao3 link | <3
Masterlist
Kinktober | day 6: manhandling + size kink
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Can y’all help me come up with a title😭 I’m literally so exhausted and I just want to pass out but I have to post it within two hours for it to still be day 6 skfhsk
Jason Todd has a huge size kink… He’s so massive that it’s honestly hard not to because there are barely any female body types that aren’t smaller than him. Tall, big, buff— all smaller than him, usually by a lot too.
Especially you. You’re pretty much the same size as the average woman, but standing next to Jason— he practically dwarfs you. Whenever he holds your hand, you usually end up just holding two of his fingers because it’s more comfortable that way. Even when he places his hand on your thigh, he can completely cover the entire width of it.
Even though he loves the way it feels to hold you, how easy it is to lift you and manhandle you however he wants… one of his most favorite things is how small your cunt is too. It wasn’t abnormally small— it was proportionate to your body— but compared to his abnormally large cock? Even just compared to his fingers, you could barely take it.
He always tried to do as much foreplay as possible because, even though he thinks it’s hot when your face scrunches up in pain as you do your best to take him, he doesn’t actually want to hurt you or make it not good for you. So he usually eats you out, slowly working you open on his fingers. He almost always gives you at least one orgasm before even attempting to fit his cock inside you, but even after the time he made you come over and over again for two hours straight, you were still so fucking tight.
You let out these soft whimpers and sounds of pain that make his cock throb. Sometimes you gasp out and desperately cling to him, trying to ground yourself. He always eases his cock in slowly, holding your hand or cupping your cheek and whispering soft praises into your ear.
“So good at taking my cock, baby. I’m almost halfway.” You whined and squeezed your eyes shut, focusing on taking deep breaths and relaxing your muscles. Jason couldn’t help but look down between your bodies, watching his cock slowly disappear into your tight heat. “Almost there, princess.” His voice was low and thick with poorly restrained arousal. When he finally bottomed out, you let out a pained whimper and he closed his eyes, trying not to bust his load right then and there.
“Such a good girl. You’re doing so good, baby.” He murmured tenderly, leaning down to kiss over your neck as his hand snaked down to rub your clit. You usually signaled whenever you were ready for him to start moving and he’d slowly draw his hips back, then push in again at the same pace.
Sometimes though, he’d stand and hold you in the air, lifting you up and down on his cock, limiting your squirming significantly. Or if you were riding him, he’d grab your hips and move you however fast and hard he wanted— even if you put all your strength into staying seated or moving away, he was always stronger than you. It took practically no effort for him to lift you up and down, fucking you like you were his own personal sex doll.
While he usually liked being able to kiss you and watch your expression contort in pain as your walls were forced to accommodate his cock, he also liked putting you on your stomach. Sometimes he’d put you on your knees and push your face into the bed, but he liked laying on top of you even more. With his large legs caging in your much smaller ones, it made you even tighter. He loved being able to completely lay on top of you and wrap his arms around you, forcing you to feel every inch of his thick cock going in and out of your pussy. That position always made you feel trapped, but more in an exciting way rather than an anxious way because you knew he’d get off of you in a heartbeat if you told him to.
“That’s it… Be a good girl and just take it, baby.” He whispered breathily, lips brushing your ear. You let out a choked moan and he moved his hand to squeeze your neck. “You just lay there and let me use my favorite little fleshlight.” Every single time— without fail— your cunt would get impossibly tighter when he talked to you like that.
Something else he loved; the amount of come he released was proportional to his body as well… Sometimes he liked to paint your pretty face, completely drench you in his seed, but usually he liked filling you up. He liked dragging his hips back until his cock finally dislodged from your tight pussy that was practically trying to suck him in, and watching his come dribble out of your gaping hole, down your puffy folds.
“Oh, look at you, baby…” He cooed, voice raspy and thick. You whined and squirmed, enjoying the feeling of him filling you up and his seed leaking out of your abused cunt almost as much as he did.
“Squeeze that little cunt, princess. Try to keep my come inside.” He ordered softly, grabbing your ass and pulling you open to get a perfect view of your holes. He watched them flutter, but even when you tried your hardest, his cock had stretched you out too much for your hole to be able to tighten up again so soon.
“Poor thing… can’t keep my come in that needy little pussy.” He chuckled, collecting the leaking come on his fingers and pushing it back into your hole. “But that’s okay, baby. I’ll help you…” you let out a choked moan when he forced his cock back in, stretching you once again, “keep you nice and plugged up, huh?” He laid down over you again, but turned so you were both on your sides in a spooning position with his cock still deep in your pussy— It would usually stay there until you fell asleep, but sometimes only until he got worked up enough for round two.
(I’m still bad at ending one shots lol)
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i think i just caught a colleague doing something wrong with a class i assigned him a couple of hours ago just so he could avoid teaching it and i'm shooketh with his audacity but i don't want to rat him out because the class will go back to me but really i'm completely baffled that he did it
#basically i take care of one type of classes in the school#and today many teacher took the day off to have a long weekend but the school still works normally#and bc of that we had to redistribute some of the classes so we're short on teachers for support#and this other type of class which is not my obligation to take care of has only three teacher in the evening#and two of them took the day off so they assigned classes to me today in this class#but i still have to take care of the other type of class#which at 8 pm has no one to look after today because everybody is already in class and the coordinators are already off#so i noticed that this one teacher from this other class was available#(they gave me TWO classes while he had only one.... how does that even made any sense??? anyway)#so i talked to my coordinator and suggested to assign this 8 pm class to the guy instead so i could keep an eye in my classes#since it's my job to take over classes in case any one need technical support and since there's no one today it's better if i were free#rather than in class and my coordinator agreed and told me to assign the class to this teacher and let him know - which I did!#and so i went to class and when i finished at 7 pm i noticed that the 8 pm class had 3 students down#and i was like????? bc students only have 2 hours to cancel a scheduled class#so it didn't add up bc just a little before 6 when i assigned the class to this guys THERE WERE 5 STUDENTS IN IT - i literally did it at on#so there was no way for THREE STUDENTS TO CANCEL A CLASS IN ONE MINUTE#funnily enough i toke notes of the students names and one of them had somehow contacted me so i had his phone number#which could help me find him in the system to check if there was any record of him talking to the school to cancel the class#AND WHAT WAS MY SURPRISE TO FIND THIS TEACHER SENT AN EMAIL TO THIS STUDENT SAYING THE CLASS WAS CANCELED!#another student had also been sent the same email and i was like WHAT?! but then 2 students still remained in the class i thought it was od#and what i noticed was that he left the students who hadn't attended their past classes so CHANCES OF THEM NOT SHOWING UP TODAY WERE HIGH#SO HE DEFINITELY DIDN'T WANT TO TEACH CANCELED THE CLASS OF SOME STUDENTS BUT LEFT THE ONES WHO MOST CERTAINLY WON'T SHOW UP#SO HE COULD BE FREE WHEN HE HAS NO OTHER RESPOSIBILITY THAN TEACH!!!!!!!!!#I'MHDJKSLLKJKSLÇDLFKLDSÇLLÇLD this is fucked up lmao
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