#also this isn’t about dream minecraft do I look like I play minecraft

[memryse]

if mcyt isn’t fiction then

people who create dnd characters that are similar to them in personality are just playing themselves and should not be treated as having made a character

people who make any other dnd character should also be treated as just playing themselves since people refuse to even consider roleplay smps as fiction

any ocs someone puts a bit of themselves into? nope not fiction!

actors who play a character with the same first name as them aren’t really acting

and so on

maybe YOU can’t separate characters and real people and think that everything you see from a youtuber even when they’re explicitly acting is how they are in real life but we as a fandom just don’t have that issue lol. we’ve had disclaimers and indicators for when we’re talking about characters and not content creators for years because a certain smp contained a character having suicidal thoughts as a result of abuse at the hands of another character and we needed to make it absolutely crystal clear that we were referring to a fictional storyline and not real guy #1 being an abuser and real guy #2 being suicidal. these customs have either extended into other corners of mcyt fandom, or some developed their own independently like hispanic mcyt fans have used the word cubito to distinguish mc guy from real life guy from years, a term that other language speakers liked so much we’ve also started picking it up lol

we know exactly what we’re doing. i get that the line maybe does seem more blurred to an outsider looking in (i wouldn’t know given that both my first fandom at age 12 and current fandom at age 20 were mcrp lol) but it’s universally understood amongst us. i don’t have a problem separating hermitcraft!gem and empires s1!gem the wizard with a twin brother and empires s2!gem the princess and cc!gem the real life canadian woman.

idk it rubs me the wrong way that after years of trying to explain this we’re either met with people calling us racists because of three guys that the rest of us (all of us, really, because dream team fans do not claim to be minecraft fans. those are the type to actually write rpf and ship the real life racist guys) hate probably a lot more than any of you do, or they watch a few minutes of a less roleplay-heavy series/part and decide that the entire medium is invalid as a form of storytelling

it’s so annoying. i don’t think we need to be understood to have validity as a fandom we’ve been doing this for years already without that but it is so infuriating and sad how whenever there’s some kind of fandom poll thing one of three things happens

mcyt fans are banned outright and placed on the same level as something like hp

an mcyt fan runs their own and gets harassed for it

a non-mcyt fan allows us in until they get harassed so badly by whatever fandoms we go up against that they end up deleting our bracket

in what world is that normal behaviour. and that harassment always involves calling them all racist cishet white men such as misgendering both eret (real life bisexual genderqueer person) and their character (also queer), attempting to harass jimmy solidarity fans because jimmy makes mc videos so he must be a dream associate (the only time they interacted was in a tournament during which dream and georgenotfound shittalked jimmy’s best friends to his face), all the shit quackity has gotten for being a former friend of the dream team as if he wasn’t the #1 victim of their racism and xenophobia, the fact that any time c!technoblade is involved in a poll we have to beg other fandoms not to talk shit about him because the real life man died of cancer before dream’s grooming allegations came out, similarly when tfc was in one. and so on and so forth. all because people can’t separate roleplay and real life and think that the entire minecraft sphere revolves around dream just because their idea of mcyt does (not even his own smp named after him did that).

[coffeegnomee]

I wanted to write about how far Zam has come with his character for like a week now and now he’s acknowledged it himself so I finally grabbed all the quotes.

Let’s go down memory lane shall we? 

DAY 1 

24:00 “There’s a ghost that haunts my dreams [...] I see him in my sleep. He tells me to kill people. But I don’t want to kill anyone”

“I have to hold it in.. [...] I wish I had like horror sound effects to play and images of every lifesteal member dead and I could flash them across the screen” does that. 

ZAM: “*lights armadillo on fire* “give it a slow, painful death” PENTAR: “for someone against the whole idea of killing, you seem to have a gruesome way around killing things.” ZAM “I’m still me” [armadillo dies.] “I can only resist the urges so much [evil giggle]”

10:07:00 after Pentar kills him “It’s not about being above anyone by not killing people, I would just prefer not to. Because last season I feel like I was.. Something else. And I don’t want to do that again. I don’t want to be that again. You know?”

“Because it’s not supposed to be some morality, ‘I’m better than you’ kind of thing, you know? I don’t want to be on some like high horse. It’s more of like, I just don’t wanna let the demon out, you know, that type of thing”

Reflecting on the first two days, I wrote this about Zam: This season looks like an internal battle of his personal desire to complete a minecraft challenge™ (no kills) vs his desire to do lore and change his character multiple times. And I just don’t think the challenge wins long term. A challenge isn’t what makes him love lifesteal, it’s the lore. 

Day 4 7/9/24

1:01:05 “‘zam has no enemies’ no, it’s not that I have no enemies, it’s just that if I kill people, I’m going to become like a monster. Like way worse than anyone else on the server. You know? And I like don’t want that reputation if I’m like just peacefully building. [...] ‘oh bro’s scared to hurt others then?’ yup! [...] ‘bad things will happen…. (meep)’ yea last time I hurt someone, last time i tried to hurt someone, bad things happened. And i just… can’t do that again, you know?”

1:21:40 killing bogged in trial chamber. “It feels nice cutting things down, I don’t think I’ve been doing enough of this. [...] I’m going to kill all of you, I’m going to kill every single one of you. [...] is it weird to say that I’ve missed this? Even though ‘this’ is just cutting down a bunch of skeletons, just jumping up and down and left clicking [...]  [evil giggles (and not to anything in chat)] [...] my sword might say “im so sorry’ but I’m not sorry, I’m not even a little sorry right now” 

2:19:05 “”also Zam is emo’ (chips) “no i’m not! I’m so happy! I’m the happiest i've been in a long time. That’s why I have my nipple out. That’s not true why did i say that” 

4:04:50 Wemmbu killed Spoke. ZAM: “[opens statistics] it still says zero. It still says zero. It still says zero it still says zero. So I’m fine. I’m fine. Cause it still says zero.. [walks around base] I’m fine. It’s perfectly fine. ‘0 plants potted’ (arch) okay actually that’s what I got the clay for so.. Thank you for saying that actually, very convenient timing. [goes to shed to smelt] [blows out breath] I’m just gonna chop down trees. I’m just gonna chop down trees and I’m just gonna leave this group and I’m gonna chop down trees and I’m gonna have a fun time and nothing bad’s gonna happen. And everything’s gonna be a-okay [hannah logged on] I thought Mapicc logged on I cannot lie. Okay maybe I’m scared. [Mapicc logs on] [gasp, crouches] motherfucker. Motherfucker [under breath]”

Dies to Mapicc three times. 

5:26:00 is thinking about how he’s doing a character nobody else on lifesteal has done before. Puts on a lore song. “‘If there’s one thing you’ve been consistent in the last two seasons, it’s been steady in your morals until the end’ (chips) yea. But here’s the thing though [giggle] does it matter? Or like, what’s it called. Am I restricting myself? Do you guys think? Most definitely, right. And it’s like. I dunno, a big part of me feels like it would be nice to like, let go, and just like, join in on all the violence, and everything, and all that stuff. You know? Like it would be nice. It would be nice, I think. Maybe. Maybe not, I don't know… [evil giggle] ahhh. [long pause, arch in chat said ‘once you do it you can’t go back though’ he doesn’t read it out] [lore music cuts out] [very seriously] no that’s stupid. No. I’m not gonna. I’m not gonna. [blows breath] I’m not gonna let myself go as far as I did last season. I’m not gonna let myself do anything like that again [tehe giggle] [huffs out breath]”

5:28:18 “‘it was fun tho’ (chips) it was, but it was fun at the expense of others. It was fun… but it was damaging to the server.. It was. I dunno. I don’t think it’s who I want to be. I don’t think I was born to be…That. you know? I don’t know. I feel like that’s not who I am. I feel like that was never who I was.” 

7/13/24 end fight day 

~2:38:00 ZAM: “‘its not ok to kill people but it's ok to ask people really nicely to kill people you don't like’ I’m allowed to persuade people’s opinions, I think, and I can only do that when I’m really really mad. [...] But i dunno. [sigh] I’ve messaged both opposing teams so i dunno, I don’t care enough though. Whatever. This is beyond me."

“Joker zam went back into his closet’ (meep) that’s true. I was possessed for a second there. [messages MC chat saying that] ‘my evil self wishes for me to kill everyone. I won’t tho.' 

7/14/24 day he kills planet

Hour and half of Pangi messing with him while he gets more and more frustrated at the shulker farm. 

1:28:50 Zam flies after Pangi and crits him out, but he stops. “I can’t crit him out like that, I’m gonna get my first player kill and it’s gonna ruin all my lore” 

1:40:00 pangi is still singing, Zam bows him, then tries fishing rodding him. He comes up the farm PANGI: “hey PrinceZam, do you need therapy?” ZAM: “shut up you always got some noise to make, shut up. [...] I bet you’re my first kill this season” PANGI: “BAHAHAA” ZAM: “just kidding I won’t kill anyone. Just kidding. Just kidding just kidding. That was a joke. That was a joke. I won’t kill anyone. [blows out breath]” PANGI: “okay PrinceZam.” 

1:47:00 ZAM: “what the fuck just happened to me. Dude, I need to stop. He keeps, he keeps trying to get me to get my first kill, bro. He’s trying to get me to get my first kill. I can’t. I can’t do it. I can’t do it. It’s getting harder and harder, with each and every day, to hold back [sigh] oooh kay. ‘Why aren’t you killing anybody’ because as soon as I kill one person, I go down a dark dark path. And you don’t want to see that dark dark path. ‘WE DO’ I don’t. K fine, maybe you do. I don’t. A great darkness lurks within me. A great darkness lurks within me. It’s consumed me, ever since, ever since I was young. ‘Your dark side is banging on the door, let the poor guy in’ no. noo. I’m gonna build a closet in my house. ‘PLEASE DO IT’ where could I even, oh I know where I could actually build a closet right now, let’s do that right now actually hold on. Unironically lets do that right now” 

6:24:44 zam goes to bacon in his base, “Whenever I sleep, he comes to me. So i try not to sleep in that bed anymore” BACON: “[baffled] how did that even start. Like how did you even, what, how did this even become a thing in your head” ZAM: “[ignoring] there’s a demon in my closet, any time, any time I die he comes closer to possessing me.” BACON: “okay what is the demon trying to get you to do.” ZAM: “kill everyone” BACON: “oooohhh. Oh I like that. Okay okay” ` 

Then there’s the fated Bacon stream 

2:39:00 bacon and planet meme around about the build battle rules and Zam snaps, “if you want to be a bitch about it you don’t have to fucking play, goddamm. Dumbass fucking planetlord and baconnwaffles. I hate both of you. Fuck you guys. I’m going back into the house… i’m going into my closet” 

They clean up spawn a bit, he comes back out swinging at them. Then goes on top of the lighthouse and starts shooting them from a distance. 

Planet takes off all his armor and pops like a grape.

Then on Spep’s stream he stalks Spep around to the End islands, generally just looks really threatening. Says he won’t remember this when he wakes up, but Spep will. 

7/15/24 

~14:00 ZAM: “[strained] dude, pangi I killed planet” PANGI: “[strained too]I know. Hey, it wasn’t your fault” ZAM: “i shouldn’t have even had a bow” 

He builds the tree and writes his first oath 

In the first draft he wrote “I cannot do anything that goes against the interest of the entire server”

he changed “entire server” to “majority of players” to “most players” 

And changed “attack any player” because chat went crazy about him not being able to punch anyone, to “kill any other players” 

7/18/24 

Flame and mapicc start fighting

22:40 ZAM: “dude I did give mapicc a heads up there, I can’t lie. [realizing] I’ve been playing all sides, I can’t lie. This is interesting. I’m just chummy with everyone, I dunno, i don't do it intentionally. I do it a little intentionally, i can’t lie, but not like, intentionally”

33:20 ZAM: “I really don’t like the idea of playing both sides, but like, like- I’m trying my hardest not to, [...] Like if you shove 100 dollars in my face like I’m probably gonna take it right? Like like [giggling], it’s just like, ugh, it’s so stupid [laughing] i don’t like this. I don't know, I’m opportunist I guess. I’m just an opportunist I guess because I'm pacifist and I don't wanna die." So. But like also I really just don’t like the idea of being someone who plays both sides, it’s so awkward” while watching the fight from a distance. "

7/20/24 

From 2:43:00 to 3:15:00 hops between group chats and instinctively gets information and relays it to everyone else. Actually just leaks every word he hears lol. 

4:51:10 “imagine flame goes on a killing spree just so he can pay you to make more builds lol’ (citrus) dude. Is the blood on my hands then? That’s something I was wondering, what if this becomes bad. To where they’re like murdering people just for the sake of like, whats it called, paying me. ‘Yes you're evil then’ (sin) aw shit. It’s my fault. I mean I guess it depends on how bad it gets. I felt really bad when they killed jepex for me. I can’t lie, in the moment I thought it was really funny but looking back, it’s literally the same as like. Like I think me asking them to kill someone is the same as me killing them myself, it lowkey does not matter. So I’m lowkey like having another moral dilemma right there, on that one. ”

“I’m gonna stop asking people to fucking kill people for me that’s stupid, i don’t want to do that anymore”

This is so interesting, because day 1 he just wanted the statistic, and it was okay for him to do traps or gaslight people and all that. Then it was no traps, no violence. Then it was it’s okay to influence the opinions of people who already want to kill the people I want dead. Now it’s like, even that is not okay.

7/21/24 building Flame’s volcano in one day

45:00 [unprompted] “do you know something I was thinking of, which like, i just feel like it would be so easy to turn like, any tree, at spawn, into a trap. It would be so easy right? [...] I’m not gonna do it! Just like a fun idea. [..] [starts making the trap] but then it would make it real. I shouldn’t do this actually. I- i shouldn’t do this. This isn’t a good idea. Nevermind. Nevermind. [rubs face] Ooh my god, back to building back to building. I’m building I’m just building. [puffs out breath] I’m just building. I’m building a castle. I’m not why would I - why would i even make a [giggles] why did I even do that in the first place.” 

2:43:00 breaking the bedrock of the end fountain to make a concrete duper “i feel really good at this. Like too good at this. It’s just holding down q, it’s not that special. But fuck. ‘It’s in your blood’ I don't want to be the guy that left behind, that broke all that bedrock, you know? I don’t want that to be my legacy, I don't want that to be my reputation. I don’t want that to be what I leave behind. Aw geeze. [breaks last bedrock] oh my god. [frustrated] That was effortless”

7:31:30 “‘it’s ok you can blame all your blunders on the demon’ (seri) [lore] what if there was no demon. [not lore] new headcanon. Just me trying to justify my acts. [soft giggle] waittt.. [pause] thank goodness the demon is real, so. the demon is real. Only i can see him” 

8:23:00 crashout over not being “able” to defend himself.  “‘its okay zam we saw how you are at the end of every single season’ (citrus) yea, you guys have. The deep darkness that’s within me, [giggle] ugh. ‘They’ll see… one day’ (mer) I don’t want them to see, no, that’s the thing, i don’t want them to see. [..] It’s just like, like I Could fight, it’s just such a hassle, to like, get into it, and then not, you know. Cause like, okay, okay, here here, let’s envision it, lets say I do want to fight people, right? theoretically, but, I don’t want to let out the evil evil darkness that’s within me, right? How the hell am I gonna do that when I’m constantly taking fights, constantly losing, constantly getting overly attached, overly invested in conflict, like how am i gonna, how am I gonna contain the demon within, if I, what’s it called, if I, if I’m constantly getting myself into fights? You know? ‘Getting good’ (chips) no but like I’m being dead serious, like cause, what’s it called, eventually they’re gonna hit me in a way that is gonna make me want to go full force, there’s no point in trying to fight if I’m not gonna go 100% all in, you know? So. I dunno. Maybe if I get better at my self control and discipline” 

So there’s two things. One, “it’s a hassle” is classic burnout. And you just have to wait for burnout to leave. And two, he is very self aware that someone will do something that will make him get invested. But he won’t flip that switch until that happens because there is no point. Which is very valid and wise. 

It’s such an interesting conversation, because it’s the first time he hasn’t made breaking his oath into a silly lore moment. It’s really settling into being a real part of him. He’s being honest about what fighting would actually do.

10:36:00 talks to jumper about his pacifism and their parallels. He tells her about how he knows he’ll get too invested and he wont want to hold back. As opposed to being unable. 

7/24/24 

53:10 Zam goes to the trial chambers again “dude wait these slimes have strength, are they gonna kill me? Dude I wanted to feel something but now I’m just not feeling anything actually. I was, I was, I was expecting more of a challenge”

7/25/24 day 1 peace trials

16:30 “do you think SB737 is going to kill me if he finds me? His layer’s off, I think he ran away from spawn after that one. I could see him trying though. I’ve lowkey, dude, lowkey i've been wishing someone would kill me, unfortunately I did starve to death, so now I don’t wish someone would kill me anymore. But like, it’s just been sooo peaceful, building these past few days you know? Like i haven’t ran into any kind of metal peril in soooo long like that’s crazy you know. It’s been a hot minute.”

First time he talks about wanting to be chased. 

37:00 annoyed about SB butting him in D teir for how easy he would be killed.  “‘zam is the most aggressive pacifist’ yea! Cause I mean how else am I supposed to let my anger out other than with my words. I still have emotions. They're still there” 

7/29/24 

1:07:24 still ignoring Bacon “If I’m gonna be a pacifist and not kill people, I should be able to hold a grudge somehow” “my only fighting method” 

Plotting the shift in zam’s mindset is like making a color spectrum and it’s just ever so slightly gradient-ed and before you know it it’s just all red.

8/17/24 

58:00  MANE: “but think about how many hearts I’ve given you before Zam”  ASH: “WAIT. ZAm is accepting hearts from people That Kill? That’s not very peaceful of you zam. That goes against your oath. You’re just accepting heart that has, that puts blood on your hands. I’m not even joking about this” ZAM: “I-, I don’t. I don’t think it does.” ASH: “You’re benefiting from the spoils of the death that you claim to be so against”  Zam jumps away from the conversation at the same time. nervously? 

ZAM: “[calmly] if kills have already happened what am I supposed to do to stop it. I only care about myself not killing people” [parkouring over to the roof of the house] ASH: “You literally” ZAM: “not other people. The server can do whatever the fuck it wants. I don’t care” PANGI” aaahhhhh” ASH: “That’s the most. That’s the most selfish view” 

ZAM: “I learned from you! The best side to play is all sides, right? That’s what you said [...] hypocrytical as fuck” ASH: “I mean, I’m not claiming to be any good person, I’m just saying your whole oath and code of honor is” ZAM: “I’m not either. I’m trying to be a good person but, hey” PANGI: “You’re doing a really bad job I can tell you that, Zam” ZAM: “yea. [swings around to look at pangi] coming from you is crazy” 

1:03:00 “‘you’ve only done build commissions for incredibly violent people huh’ (arch) that is something to consider huh, am I [sharp breath in] let me put on the lore music hold on. Am I. and I, I don’t think I’m the worst person to- okay. No. you know what? It doesn’t matter. Because there are worse people on this server. So I’m not that bad by comparison [...] You know I’m doing better than I did last season [...] So I’m okay. I’m happy with my choices I feel like. I dunno. I mean like gaining, gaining hearts is not the worst thing in the world, it’s kind of like the point of the server is it not? I dunno. Hmmm ‘i mean violent people are the ones who have the hearts’ (citrus) exactly! Yea, my only, the only people I CAN do business with is the violent people”

“But by taking hearts from them am I not encouraging them to kill more? Yea, that’s something to consider as well, you know? Cause, but it’s like. Ugggghhh let me read through the oath again. ‘Are they killing other violent people or innocents’ (arch) that’s true! I mean. They kill innocents when they feel like killing innocents it depends on the person i’m dealing with. [...]  I can’t control what other people do. It’s not selfish [heavy emphasis. Meaning ashsawg’s comment] it’s just like, me controlling what I can control. You can only control, you should only worry about what you can control, and what I can control is limiting myself.”

“I mean shit. What do I even want these hearts for” 

“‘you got one kill’ ‘you killed planet��� okay okay okay you killed planet okay. I hate how many people are talking about that. [..]  ‘YOU CANNOT DENY IT ZAM’ yes I fucking can! Yes I fucking can! Because I shot at him as a fucking like bit, because was obviously never to kill him, and he took off all his fucking armor. I’ve been over it! I have been over it like a million times it’s insane! I gave back the heart too like what. [opens statistics] Like it doesn’t even count. [closes statistics] It does not count. ‘You’re still killing’ [mocking] you're still killing. Okay actual like bot opinion. Bot take. Actual bot take is what this is. Insane. Like actually insane. The fact that people are still on this is craaaazy like actually crazy. ‘PANGI HASN’T’ oohhhh that’s what this is about. That’s what this is about. That’s what this is about, it’s about pangi, and and pangi being better than me okay.” 

“That’s what this is about. It means nothing to me. Means nothing to me. I don’t care. PANGI LITERALLY- okay. Okay. okay. Okay. okay. Okay. okay. Okay. [giggle laugh] pangi is a pacifist because he wants to be. But that’s like. Dude, woogie 1 for 1 took my thing. Dude, it’s crazy how many people are pacifist why did everyone like take my thing I mean like the whole point is proof of concept is prove that it’s possible, right, but like heh heh. It’s also lame that other people are taking my thing. [more deranged leaning giggles] ‘everybody wants to be princezam.’ (mer) oh my god. “

8/19/24 

~1:11:00 found Mapicc in his base. MAPICC: “and i just like, when are you gonna kill people” ZAM: “pppffff [mocking/flabberghasted] ‘when are you going to kill people?’ [reduced to laughter] MAPCIC: ”mmhmm” ZAM: “I’m not!” MAPICC: “see that's so weird.” [...] ZAM: “you start critting me out I don’t fight back” MAPICC: “actually?” ZAM: “no like genuinely, yea” MPAICC: “wait. Okay [pots up and takes all armor off but helmet and boots]” 

1:34:00 “a little terrifying i can’t lie. it’s weird. I feel like after an encounter like that I’d have a teammate to go talk to about this. But there really isn't anyone like that this time around”

8/22/24 

3:30 about the mapicc infestation “It was a very interesting fight. Honestly one of my favorite fights of the season” 

19:40 “ohh ‘kaboodle the pacifist’ (evi4) Wait kaboodle the pacifist? Are we fucking serious. Yo. okay. Okay.  i’m not even going to say nothing bro. I’m not even going to say nothing. I’m. I’m not even going to say nothing. I’m not even going to say nothing. I’m not. I’m not even [starting to laugh]  going to say nothing, bro [deep breath in and out] how come the one season. Like the one season, that i do it and it’s like interesting, everyone else decides to do it. In season 4 no one copied subz. Everyone made fun of him. But now, but now i do it and everyone wants to fucking be me okay. Okay. no okay. No okay. No like. Bro. [so sad] [...] ‘Everyone is just scared of the big pvp-ers’ (arch) that’s true. It’s not even. It’s not even like me. Oh my god. It’s not even because i’m cool. No it’s not even because of me, it’s just they don’t want to get killed”

27:00 kab asks if she can talk to zam and get advice “oh bet. Oh i love giving advice to my fellow pacifists. My favorite thing to do ever” /sarcastic

31:40 Woogie drops in “Zam is amazing at making people peaceful”

34:00 “if your goal is pacifism, then yea, he’s passing, but if your goal is to not get murdered by people then you probably shouldn’t be destroying other people’s builds, you know. That’s how you start wars” about pangi’s pacifism. 

Which is ALSO interesting. Because zam cares about not starting wars because he doesn't want to get emotionally pulled into a fight.

ZAM: “its like i’m in a skit. And like, as soon as i start questioning one character, and another character comes out and is like “ooh i’m also a remake of you!” what the fuck is happening” 

“You know what’s keeping me going is that i’ll probably outlast them” 

42:40 “is this a bad thing? Am i bad for not wanting them to be a, [laugh] to be peaceful like me? Is that a bad thing? I mean like, i feel like, uhg. But it’s like, they- [sharp breath in] what is- what have THEY gone through? To want this change” 

“Like kaboodle is doing it to save her skin. Woogie is doing it to save his skin, like. It’s very different i feel like. It’s just very different. I [whispers] oh  my god. [spins around] what did. What do they know! What do they know. Oh my god. Fuck damn. I think that’s why i’m upset. It’s not that like, [long pause] bruh.” 

“How can i rise about the rest. That's what i want to do now. That’s what I wanna do now. I want to rise above the rest. That’s what i’m thinking about right now, i’ll be honest. How do I [sharp breath in] [blows air out] like. This is-. [grumble] this is stupid. This is dumb. I shouldn't even think about this. You know what this is dumb."

48:00 “it’s not like a fun thing to do. Like. I- being a pacifist has been like, it’s it’s had its moments i guess. I dunno though. Definitely, i’ll admit it, not the most.. fun. But uh. Thats. that’s besides the point. That’s okay. That’s.. that’s fine [deep breath in and out]” 

“‘being a pacifist isn't for everyone, you have to truly believe in the rules and know your own limits so you can be pacifist’ (hexlarry) but like that’s the thing, do i even like, fully believe in it? Cause now i’m starting to question myself. I mean I did it not so that i could save my own skin. I did it so that i could, i dunno, just avoid repeating prior mistakes. And things like that. Sooo. because getting myself into fights would probably lead me down a very very dark path and i don't want to [sharp breath] i don't wanna do all that so by avoiding conflict at all costs I, I can, what’s it called, hmmm [spins around] fuck [princezam distress noises] [...] ‘has something changed’ i dunno. I’d hope not”

“‘it feels like they’re mocking you a little’ (evu) a little bit! I guess so. That’s kind of true as well honestly. I dunno. Hmmm, it’s very. Very interesting. Very interesting turn of events. I dunno. It’s not that i feel like it’s my thing. I feel like everyone should be allowed to do it, it just feels like the way that they’re doing it kind of is like, i guess it is, i dunno. It’s a little bit like.. Hmm yea ‘it’s an easy way out to them’ (arch) to them, to them it doesn't have any of the same significance it does to me. They're doing it because they want to live longer, they want to hold onto their hearts longer, i’m doing it because I like- i essentially need to- ugh. I dunno. I’m doing it- hrmmm. No, i’m doing it because… Because i want to. Because I want to. I want to. It’s my decision. I want to do it. I dunno [jumps around thinking for a while]” 

The last part is said in the same tone he used during the Abyss arc when his team wasn't logging on to help him.

“It’s not about what other people have done though. It’s about me upholding an oath i guess. Me.. avoiding [giggle] repeating mistakes and stuff. Umm. i dunno ‘it’s a conflict with myself’ (mer) exactly. It’s entirely. Entirely within me. And that was a situation that, admittedly, I had control over. I could have just not shot my bow at him. It’s a lesson learned i guess. But. I dunno. I- I just hate it. I hate it so much because that was not meant to happen at all. Like. it’s ridiculous. Its just ridiculous i feel like. I dunno. ‘Bro is still talking about this’ yea because I care about it.”

8/23/24

5:38:00  WEMMBU: “you’re profiting off the economy of people being murdered” ZAM: “I don’t know if that’s true at all even. That’s just. [trying to talk while wemmbu is talking over him] Anyone who lives on this server is profiting off the economy bro. I don't know what you’re talking about. [...] That that’s like breathing air on this server is benefitting form the economy bro” WEMMBU: “and you’re the one that’s saying you’re and innocent soul bruh” ZAM: “i’m, somewhat innocent. I’m innocent to the point where I won’t lure someone to spawn so you guys can kill them. That's how innocent I am” WEMMBU: “wah wahh wah” 

And he leaves the group

ZAM: “Get me the fuck out of here. I simply participate in society. All i do is live and breathe air and try to live an honest to god living.”

~5:51:00 “‘Oh so you agree you’d be responsible in that scenario’ (arch) yea! If he’s going out of his way to kill people For That [the build he wanted to commission], like to pay For That, I feel like yea, I feel like then I’m definitely responsible. [...] But mane, flame, mapicc, they already have the hearts, I know they withdrew them from their hotbar, they did in front of me, it did the sound. So, yea. And flame just had a heart bank that he went and grabbed. So. yea no, those hearts were already acquired. They were, like, those kills happened, it’s over. It’s good.” 

8/24/24

2:13:00 “that was interesting. What a day. I almost hopped into a fight. Probably wont do it again, that was a one time offer. But. i dunno. I was willing to die for a cause. I wasn’t going to hit him.” 

“Maybe i faltered. Did I falter? By willing to fight? I wouldn’t hit him. I don’t think. Maybe I’d hit him. I don’t- [scoff] would it be fine as long as i don't kill him?” “it’s my rules” 

“Yea mapicc did get really excited when i mentioned pvp. That was really interesting. That was cool. I do have no critting yea. Hmmm. i dunno. I did just want to support my friend flame ‘you're just helping out a friend i think thats in the servers best interests’ (arch) that’s true. Yea. if i, i dunno, cause like the main goal is to just work in the server’s best interests. And i guess in that situation that, specific, little situation, fighting flame was actually in everyone, everyone who’s online’s best interests. Ironically. So yea. Despite it normally being the wrong answer, violence was kind of the answer to fixing that problem there. ” 

2:18:00  “I’m worried though. Like I feel like the lack of violence encourages me to like, i dunno” 

“I think people should be more violent, i think that’s fair, that’s what this server is about. I haven't changed my stance on that, the server is about killing people. It’s not about [giggle] the atrocities I’ve committed, that’s for sure” 

“‘That’s not very pacifist I mean’ like that’s whatever, it’s princezam then. It doesn’t matter. Pacifist is just the moniker I chose, but if it’s not fitting it’s not fitting. I’m doing whatever I believe” 

“‘the blowing up builds and killing weaklings was your more problem. not your violence inherently’ (arch) exactly. And unfortunately I feel like with any sort of violence [tsht] unfortunately all paths lead to that road. You know? Everything will just eventually get me there. I think it’s better to swear it off, you know. It’s just, It’s just for the better”

Flame blows up spawn.

2:52:00 “And my heart count too. I was trying to get to 20 but like - what does that even do, what is that even good for, if i can't do anythin- if i’m powerless to stuff like this, if i’m powerless to this. This. Like what’s the point, even like what’s-... I feel like everything I’ve done is just like actually completely futile now. Like, none of it matters. NONE of it matters, not even a little, if other people are just going to take up the mantle. What like, what’s the POINT?... I don't get it. I mean holding out, not giving in, despite all of this, would prove me as a way stronger player than him, but WHAT GOOD DOES THAT ACCOMPLISH. SO WHAT?! Like, he’s just going to do this again, like why does it matter? Why does it even matter? What the- what does moral highground get me? What does moral high ground even get me. Why did i think this was even a good idea even a little bit, [so loud] OH MY GOD. [pause] ‘It doesn't even mean anything to anyone but me’ (arch) exactly. This. oh my god. It’s not just to myself though (arch) it’s ahhh Fuck. It’s supposed to make up for everything I did- For just everything I did in general really. That’s what it’s supposed to be, but, like ah, does anyone care really? Does anyone care? Other than me? At this point I don't think so. There’s bigger problems. ‘Spawn looked the best this season’ it did. It really did. It really really did. It really did. [tabs out for a long time, just silent] i can't’ believe this. I can’t believe this. [sigh] oh my god. [leaning head back] Dude. and like. Oh my god. Yea no one is going to do anything that’s true. The fact of the matter is [laughing as talking] no one is going to do anything about this. Because no one cares. And that’s what he’s going to realize. [...] That’s all fine to me, it doesn't matter. It doesn’t matter. This is definitely the furthest I’ve wavered, on this path of mine. Dear god. [blows out breath] and i was the only one here to do anything about it oh my god [silence] ‘they did call me ground zero’ [puts head in hands while reading it] is it my fault? Is it my- wait you’re right. [breathing heavily] it kind of in a, in a weird, fucked up twisted way, it kind of is my fault. Because my stupid pacifism stuff it it spiraled out of control and got to woogie, got to pangi, it’s it’s like [grrr grumble] (all of chat is screaming that it isn't his fault.) I, oh my god. Oh my god. Dude like. I actually feel so dumb. I feel like I’ve wasted the past month or two. I’ve actually just feel like I’ve been wasting my time. Like, like none of that matters. Actually none of that matters, I feel like, anymore. And like, because I did all that, everyone else copied me. Everyone copied me, they were right! No, they were right. That’s the messed up part of this, is that they’re Right. And that they probably will get a fight out of this, that’s the Fucked up part of this” 

3:04:00 “If I fight them I give them exactly what they want. It’s so fucked up. There’s no, there's no winning option here. There’s nothing I can do to win” 

Realizes he can just rebuild. Rejuvenated in one second flat. 

“Do I just keep rebuilding it over and over? [...]  But I don’t care! I’m not giving up. I don't care, I don't care!” “this is literally what I do. What am I tripping for? This is literally what I do”

3:35:30 “I feel like most people would not have the mental fortitude to experience what I just experienced and then Not Fight. Like that is an absurd thing to do. But it’s a me thing to do. So” 

3:37:00 “i know i don't have all of my screws together, but i definitely, i think i could win a battle of mental fortitude if I wanted”

Talks to everyone and forms Gaia’s Hand

5:46:00 wrapping up stream along “dude I know like, i’m real confident and real happy and shit, but I , I am terrified. I am terrified [stares into a big cave thinking] i dunno. I'm not gonna second guess myself but. It’s just- it’s a scary battle. It’s a very scary battle. I dunno”

“Mean, I’m not alone. That's true. That definitely helps [...] I feel like the last time I spent a lot of time repairing spawn it didn't end too well. Lowkey that’s when everything went horribly wrong, actually. i feel like it’s just been downhill since there.”

“I am doing this to spite flame, but at the same time the thing I care about the most is just having the server where spawn can't just get destroyed. I dunno. That’s what I care about the most”

5:53:40 “‘you and your attachments to spawn’ (seri) [wistful] it’s, it’s the heart of the server. It’s the heart of the server. And, i dunno, I can’t, i can’t help myself but protect it. In every way that I can. I dunno. It’s just in my nature. Which is ironic, considering the atrocities I’ve committed.” 

8/29/24

44:30 “support the people trying to ban them and the builds won’t get destroyed anymore’ (chips) that’s true. But do the ends justify the means? Like sure I will get spawn builds being safe, but I’m, I also am taking some part in someone getting banned off the server. which, i dunno. I feel like i don't want to be a part of” 

45:00 “Is it for the greater good, or it for my greater good. It has to be objective, it can’t be a skewed biased point of view” 

1:05:20 “i can only control myself, and only the small few who have joined me” “kaboodle and woogie” “Ironically they’re truly the only ones who are part of gaia’s hand”

Week long break for MMCR

9/9/24

11:40 ZAM: “I’ve kind of realigned my look on the server [...] Everyone’s goal goes back to, like, killing. So I feel like if I help anyone I’m like sort of contributing to the violence on the server, which is something I- which I can’t prevent obviously but it’s not also something I’d like to contribute to. The whole point is I don't want to contribute to violence and you know, kill people I guess. I dunno” 

How far princezam has come. It was never about actual pacifism… except now it is. He truly is a pacifist now. He used to be a bad pacifist and now he’s just a pacifist for real. How interesting. 

19:00 “That’s just the spite and hatred in my heart. I’m full of hatred recently, that’s something i’ve noticed as well. Definitely something i’ve noticed” 

44:00 “I feel like nothing accomplishes anything. I feel like anything I would do would just make things worse. I dunno. Maybe that’s just me though. Maybe that's just me and the way I feel. I dunno” 

“I just want to win. You know? But how do I go about that even? There’s nothing to win against."

~1:27:00 “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” “interesting phrase considering the circumstance I’m in. [...] yea i mean violence is good to those who love it. I’m just unfortunately not one of those people. At least at the moment. [pause] Well I wouldn't say at the moment actually. I would say I’m not one of those people. For sure. Used to be. Not anymore.” 

1:53:00  “when i think of goals, the first thing that comes to mind is like, laying in a field of flowers. That’s what I want to do. That’s what I want to do. I dunno”

9/11/24

~40:00 “it makes me question what my path is, cause i’m not, i’m not i’m not i’m not  i’m not a killer or anything at least i don't want to kill anyone, i don't want to be doing that. Soo where does that leave me?  What am I gonna do, what am I princezam gonna do.” 

[thornybubbles]

Playing Minecraft with the Stardust Crusaders

**Note: Originally I was going to have this be a story with just Kakyoin, but I decided to add the rest of the Stardust Crusaders. Also I decided to just do headcanons instead of writing a full story. I’ve been writing a lot of dark yandere stuff and I just wanted a break. So here’s something wholesome. PS. Polnareff’s part was my favorite to write. XD **

Joseph

He may be an old man, but he’s not completely out of touch when it comes to the concept of video games. It takes him a little bit to learn how to play, but once he gets the hang of it, there’s no stopping him. Joseph’s building skills are pretty basic. He’s more interested in the survival and exploration elements of Minecraft. Once he gets his house built, he does a little mining to get a full set of iron armor, weapons, and tools and then he’s off to explore. He’s almost never seen around the main base and spends most of his time many, many blocks away, discovering cool things. He will often ask questions about things he’s unfamiliar with and you explain it to him. Sometimes he hardly speaks at all because he’s too enamored with all the stuff he’s discovering. 

Then there was the “Creeper Incident”. Joseph made the mistake of doing some exploring at night instead of going to sleep like a good little Minecrafter. 

“Hey, what’s this freaky green thing?” he asked you. 

“Freaky green thing? What kind of freaky green thing?” you said, wanting some specifics. 

“It looks like a depressed cactus,” he explained. 

Uh oh.

“Oh! That’s a cr---!” 

There was a distant explosion followed by Joseph screaming, “Oh my God! Son of a bitch!!!” 

After that, something changed in Joseph’s play style. He went from explorer to monster hunter. Angry at having been blown up and losing all his stuff, he goes on a vendetta to destroy all creepers. And why stop there? Zombies, spiders,skeletons or any other creature of the night that crosses his path were quickly dealt with. He goes deep into learning brewing, armor and weapon enchanting, and anything else he can think of to give him an edge against the hostile mobs. With Avdol’s help he builds a battle tower and protective wall around the base. He has very big dreams about taking out the Ender Dragon. 

Joseph is a bit of a jack of all trades when it comes to Minecraft. He may not be the best builder but he has a lot of creative ideas that help all of you with whatever projects you might be working on, especially when it comes to base defense and monster fighting.

Jotaro

He only ever plays when either you or one of the other Crusaders asks him to. When he first spawned in he wasn’t too impressed. He had a hard time figuring out what he wanted to do. At first, he doesn’t bother building a house or anything and just bums around his grandpa’s house. He makes a snide comment about how Joseph’s house is just a big, wooden block with one window and a door. Joseph grumbles something about how his house didn’t need to be pretty, just practical. Joseph ends up being the one to teach Jotaro how to play, while you occasionally interject to mention something Joseph may have forgotten about. Jotaro just responds with non-committal grunts and wanders around the base, checking things out. 

Eventually, he goes off on his own to explore and find somewhere nearby to build a house. He hasn’t collected any resources, has no tools, or crafted a weapon of any kind when he starts exploring. You try to warn him that he should at least get a wooden sword to defend himself with, but he ignores you. It isn’t until night comes and he is nearly killed by zombies that he finally decides to get some wood and stone and make some basic tools. He still hasn’t found a decent place to build yet, though.  

After he’s wandered around for about 4 in-game days, he comes across a village. Jotaro watches the villagers run around, doing their thing, and is bemused at their silly appearance and sounds. But when nighttime comes and zombies start attacking them, Jotaro feels he’s found his purpose in the game. Somebody has to protect these dumb looking guys and it may as well be him. He teams up with Avdol and Joseph (who is a little miffed that someone found a village before he did) to form a “Village Security Team”. While Avdol fixes the village up by patching holes in walkways, correcting poorly spawned buildings, and starting work on building a monster proof wall around the village, Jotaro and Joseph stay up at night to fight off the monsters. 

Eventually, Jotaro builds a massive fortress near the village and Avdol attaches the wall to it. This fortress serves as Jotaro’s home and the village becomes the secondary base for you guys. Joseph jokingly calls him “King JoJo” and “Your Highness” which usually has Jotaro grumbling under his breath. He spends most of his days decorating or improving either the fortress or the village itself. When he’s not doing that, he’s usually tagging along on one of his Grandfather’s adventures. 

Kakyoin

The redstone wizard of the group. Noriaki’s beaten the game a few times already, but only recently started messing around with redstone contraptions. He set up an automated farm that both harvests and replants crops as well as a huge mineshaft with minecarts set up so that they returned to the surface to be unloaded whenever players filled them up with resources.

As innovative as he is, though, he often uses his redstone skills to be an absolute troll. And usually, his victim is you. That’s not to say that he hasn’t pranked any of the others yet, it’s just that you’re his favorite target. It’s kinda your fault though. It started back when you first started playing Minecraft together and you might have, possibly, sorta, kinda, completely un-accidentally pilfered a diamond or two from one of his chests. He knew you were the culprit because there wasn’t anyone else in the game at the time but the two of you. He didn’t call you out on it, though, assuming that you would replace the diamonds as soon as you got a chance. You never did. While you actually did have every intention of returning the diamonds to him, you just forgot about it. It didn’t help that you later developed a habit of helping yourself to whatever you found in his chests instead of going out and getting the resources for yourself. Hey, it was easier and it saved time!

Nori never said a word about it, instead opting to quietly plan his revenge. One day you went down into his storage basement to grab some cobblestone from one of his chests. You were only going to grab a stack or two and make a mental note (for the hundredth time) to replace whatever you took, but knowing that you’d probably forget. When you opened the chest, though, you didn’t find any cobblestone. Instead you found yourself staring into the sullen face of a creeper, its warning hiss in your ears. You let out a shriek of terror and braced yourself for the inevitable explosion, but it never came. You examined the “creeper” again only to see that it was nothing more than an armor stand wearing a creeper head and green dyed leather armor. It was inside of a minecart that was cleverly hidden behind the chest. You just stared at it as your brain slowly came to the conclusion that you’d just been pranked. 

“Ah, I see you found my theft deterrent.” Noriaki said, amusement clear in his voice. “It’s a nifty little project I found online called the ‘creeper in a box’ prank.” 

You can’t even say anything. He got you good and you know it. You made it a point to stay out of his storage basement from then on. 

It doesn’t stop there though. That one little incident unleashed Noriaki’s inner troll and you’re the one who gets to suffer for it. From filling your house with dirt blocks to slowly rearranging your decorations over time to see how long it would take for you to notice, Noriaki just seems to love messing with you. You have to admit that while his pranks are annoying, they are pretty funny and too clever for you to really get mad at. Your “favorite” was when he hid a bunch of note blocks under your house and arranged them to play a certain song when you opened the front door. 

“Nori, why is my house Rick Rolling me?” you demand of him, annoyed but admittedly amused. 

“Why are you asking me?” he says, playing dumb. 

He knows what he did. 

You eventually do give him his diamonds back in hopes that will appease him. It does… for a little while at least. 

Avdol

The master builder. Before being invited to play Minecraft with you guys, he’d never really played a video game before. But there was something about the building mechanics of the game that awakened something within him, possibly nostalgia for those calm times with building blocks when he was a little kid. Whatever the case, Avdol takes to building like a pro and all without any YouTube tutorials, too. You want a medieval style bakery? You got one. Want a modern bungalow? He’ll do it. Giant fire breathing demon chicken to put in the middle of the base? You can envision the weird looks he wants to give you, but he’ll make one of those, no problem. His best projects are the ones he does on his own, though, with no guidance and with minimal suggestions. 

Due to his building skills, he finds himself constantly busy within the game as someone always has some kind of building project they want help with. He even offered to improve Joseph’s plain block house. The old man told him to do whatever he pleased and then went off to go treasure hunting with Jotaro and Kakyoin. When Joseph came back he found his simple home had been converted into a deceptively cute cabin. While Joseph was impressed enough with how cozy it looked, Avdol revealed that the cabin had a secret, a well hidden secret chamber that appealed to Joseph's inner superhero fanboy. He had his very own secret lair now (yeah, it’s not really a secret if everybody on the server knows about it, but let the old man dream)!

Over time, Avdol has added things here and there to the base to keep things from looking so plain. He’s added a decorated pond for fishing and just a place to hang out. There’s also a meeting area for when the whole gang gets together right before going on an adventure (brings back bittersweet memories. At least this time there’s no danger of anyone actually dying.). 

And yes, he even added that giant fire breathing demon chicken statue you wanted so badly. Your odd tastes aside, Avdol managed to make the abomination of a statue look rather cool and stylized. Kakyoin wants it to be the mascot for your group. It ends up being put on any and all banners for the base, much to Avdol’s chagrin. 

Every time he gets online with you guys he is either working on a project or starting another one. He never seems to run out of things to do. Surprisingly, his own home is rather quaint. Just a regular old farm house, but it’s very pretty. And yes, he has a chicken farm. 

Polnareff

Chaos incarnate. This man got into the game and immediately started doing everything WRONG! Digging straight down, forgetting to sleep at least once to ward off phantoms, forgetting to crouch when standing at the edge of great heights, you name it he’s messed it up. So basically just Polnareff being Polnareff. He always manages to find danger or danger finds him. Every monster in the area seems to target him specifically. On one mining trip you actually watched around five zombies shamble right past you and head straight for a very startled Polnareff. They completely ignored you! He’s died so many times that you actually put in the “keep inventory” cheat so that at the very least he stops losing all of his hard earned resources. 

Speaking of resources, when it comes to mining it’s the one thing that Jean Pierre is really, really lucky at. To the point that it makes everyone else jealous. He was the first to find diamonds and emeralds and the first to manage to get full stacks of both. You never even thought it possible to find 64 emeralds naturally, but Polnareff managed to pull it off. Joseph is quick to accuse him of cheating which results in a very childish argument between the two until you step in and explain that you were with Polnareff the whole time and he just finds diamonds and emeralds by chance. Joseph apologizes but grumbles when Polnareff laughs. Ever since then, whenever he comes across diamonds, or anything even remotely interesting, he is very obnoxious about it. 

“HEY GUYS!!! GUESS WHO FOUND EVEN MORE DIAMONDS?!!” he’ll shout in an annoying sing-song voice.

This usually results in annoyed huffs from Avdol and Kakyoin, disgruntled “Good griefs” from Jotaro, not-so-humble requests for him to stop bragging like an asshole from Joseph, and a threat or two from you that if he didn’t stop rubbing your faces in it, you would shove him into the nearest lava pit. This always earns a mischievous giggle or two from him. He’s so full of himself about it. He does make up for it though, when he crafts full sets of diamond armor for you all. For all his arrogant bragging, he’s really rather generous with his finds. If any of you need diamonds or emeralds he’s the first to offer up his stash. After all, he has so many, why shouldn’t he share? ~ ❤

Whenever he goes mining, you usually tag along. You say that it’s so you can help him carry his loot, but actually it’s because you’re his self appointed babysitter. Just like in real life, it just isn’t a good idea for him to run off by himself. You never say that out loud though because you know how sensitive he is about being danger-prone. Besides he likes having you along and the two of you end up as mining buddies almost every time you play. Sometimes Kakyoin joins you as he’s always in need of redstone and other materials for his contraptions (it’s important to note that Polnareff is Kakyoin’s second favorite trolling victim and it always makes you nervous whenever he tags along because you never know if he’s up to something or just genuinely wants to collect resources.). 

Whenever you and Polnareff go off on your own to do anything, the rest of the Crusaders server prepares their poor ears for the inevitable screaming and swearing that will follow. Something happens to you whenever you pair up with Polnareff. Your brain power seems to get cut in half and the two of you end up becoming an unintentional comedy duo that has everyone else either laughing or, in Jotaro’s case, muting you for being “too damn loud”. 

There was one time that Polnereff was digging a strip mine that ended up leading right into the Deep Dark and the Warden’s territory. You can probably guess what happened. Before you could warn him, Polnareff’s antics end up summoning the Warden and the monster kills you both before either of you have a chance to panic. This results in Polnareff seeking revenge (or trying to) and going all the way back to the Deep Dark to fight the Warden again (and dragging you along each time), and (both of you) dying again. This happens about three more times before he actually manages to defeat the Warden only to find out that he doesn’t get any kind of reward for it (other than bragging rights, which believe me, he takes advantage of). 

On a minor note, Polnareff’s inventory is always extremely unorganized. Whether referring to his personal inventory or his storage chests his inventory is in shambles. There’s no rhyme or reason for where he places things in his hotbar and sometimes he’ll end up hitting monsters with a stick or block of glass rather than his sword. He also has a bad habit of using the wrong tool for certain jobs, such as using his pickaxe on dirt instead of his shovel and it drives more organized players like Kakyoin and Avdol insane. 

BONUS:

Iggy

(We’re assuming that the little gremlin lives with you) While he can’t exactly play video games for obvious reasons, he does kinda like watching you play, but that’s only if he’s not trying to take a nap (you’re kinda noisy). Most of the time he just plops down in his comfy spot and watches you struggle to survive in what he mentally calls the “stupid human block game”. He is really amused whenever you and Polnareff team up because watching you two together is comedy gold. Sometimes, when you’re playing alone, he’ll wait for you to be exploring a dark, creepy cave and suddenly bark very loudly for no reason, causing you to very nearly jump out of your skin. 

Iggy: “BARK!”

You scream, swear, and jump back so hard that your headset falls off. Your mouse has been practically thrown across the room. You turn around and glare at the little brat. 

“IGGY!” you shout accusingly. 

The cheeky little doggo runs out of the room making sounds that can be interpreted as the canine equivalent of snickering.

[sirwow]

I need to get out my bleeding heart for minecraft because man this game basically created the foundation and growth of my brain however rocky and I need to tell the world because I said so.

This game is a canvas. Not a empty one mind you but a canvas nonetheless. The one presented to all to begin being a world in which they’re left to learn and discover and build or destroy all on their own. Or maybe with a friend, or many. Someone’s first experience with Minecraft likely isn’t picking it up randomly but rather being told tales by others of what they weaved with the canvas they were given.

Weather that person was as quaint to just add a few additions to the canvas; a small wooden house situated inside a cool looking cave with some silly story about a creeper and a fire. Or if this person was someone you don’t really know but they put themselves out there to show their work to the world. A completely blank canvas with only one block? Why not? A downright ridiculous looking building with the sole goal of getting melons? Sure.

These stories and art is what makes this game so special. Something so stupid and mundane like a bunch of 1 block jumps with a goofy voice over and sound effects can still be such a great and beautiful thing with heart and care. We can’t understand every work but damnit I have respect for every last aspect and one. The depths of this game truly allowing everyone have some place, from leisure to mastery. I can not mention everyone but I will cover the broad strokes and their wonders.

Firstly to the builders of Minecraft. You are the forefront and most clear of your art. It is art within the most literal sense of the word, weather it is a building with intricate detail in every crevice and corner thought out meticulously. Or those of the larger then ourselves works. Organic mythical works of dragons, people, animals and more. Builds only made to be viewed once at one angle akin to a real painting. The recreations or creations of yours dreams and hopes. Or even just the humble home and village to create a story of as you survive. Creative, builders tools, survival, challenge play throughs. You’re all artists.

Redstoners. Though siblings of builders, your work lays in numbers, timing, mechanical works. Fixing issues you created for yourself when trying to achieve a goal. It may just be making the fastest door, or the largest and you’d still manage to break so many boundaries with time. Or it is those beyond my personal comprehension. You make machines capable of manipulating the behavior of the game itself by going through the cracks found over the decade of redstone. As much as it is wizardry to myself I wish someday to learn this as well if I ever choose to go down such a path. However as of now my eyes are set on another unexpected and undermined path that is next.

PVP. One much loathed by those outside it and I am guilty of such for almost a decade but as now Iv become knee deep in the waters of it myself I also see how it’s an art. Maybe more in the martial sense as obvious but it’s still very impressive what I see and understand in it now. The functions beyond “swing sword good”; a much deeper phycological game aspect to it then seen outside and understanding the intricacies of mechanics you generally give little thought to playing normally. Just how much health does each weapon do- crit or not. How fast can a crossbow reload, watch your sprint or you might just lose. On and on. Iv gained a lot of respect for it.

Parkour. Get your parkour civilization jokes out of the way- this is probably the MOST fundamental part of the game and I find it downright magical what can be done with it. I realize I’m saying that a lot but it’s 1 am shh. Anywho it’s got all its ins and outs. The ice parkour, neos, fences, drip leaf, combined redstone and timing, trapdoors and more. I’m missing about 50 here but that just goes to show how deep it is.

Off of parkour comes our good friend Speedrunning!!! Dedication and time in its most raw. Triangulation for college? Wrong! Block game. It’s a mental load to take on and the aspect of random chance and taking everything on your shoulders is persistence and patience.

And the best part of all of this? They all come together in their own ways for hundreds nay thousands of ways to play. All without touching on the deep deep well that is servers. Skyblock players, pvpers, ice boaters, niche specialists games (Cops v Crims, Bedwars, party games, tower defense, MMORPGs, one in the quiver for my old chums out there, ect) you all have my undying interest and respect in the details and depths of what you love.

So now you have the little canvas before you. Make what you wish no matter how bad. No one will create something identical to what you choose and it’s your story to paint- no matter how lame, small, boring, bad, or ugly you might claim it to be. I want it to still be made and for you to explore whatever depths you choose. Weather that be the simple literal ones, finding a neat cave or what have you, or finding a passion buried under the rubble.

And me? I guess I’ll keep doing my thing of watching and learning about all the silly little corners this game has and mastering what I can even if that takes another decade to do. The universe loves me and it loves you too, go and create.

[bleue-flora]

Hello, I come to you with a silly prompt!

In what way do you think Dream is disabled/affected post-prison and if he does, what do you think he does to hide it?

So I’ve loved all of the different answers to this, lots of fun. Sorry to be late in the game. Like usual I’m probably gonna make this more complicated than it needs to be. No surprise there though lol XD. But ya know you asked for my thoughts so here are my thoughts, as messy as they are.

See this is hard for me because there is a divide between what we know for sure is canon, what we can speculate in general and what is more fun to imagine. As well as, the difference between Minecraft and our physical world. Because like obviously no one can actually survive living that close to lava, so we have to decide which elements would match our world consequences and which wouldn’t.

Because it’s Minecraft and things aren’t necessary like the real world, I play looser with some of the effects. So things like for example messed up vision from the lava don’t apply. I mean everyone spends times in mines, the nether, even has lava in their house so it’s not something I personally include. The same with things like seizures and such.

When it comes to canon, obviously we know potions exist in this world, but the thing is there is never confirmation of them being used in the prison. They don’t appear in Quackity’s or Sam’s inventory (besides fire res) when they visit and during the visits we get to see, Dream is munching on potatoes to heal. So does that mean he never gets potions since basic food can work to heal in Minecraft or does he get some only with more severe and dangerous injuries or something. Or would he have sustained less serious injuries because the potatoes can only heal so much. Then again canonically Quackity is swinging a diamond sword and a netherite axe around, which aren’t exactly gonna do small damage.

And the thing with scars is that the only scars we know of are from canonical deaths, meaning Dream would probably have some from the other time he went to limbo (or multiple if went multiple times), and Tommy killing him (quite a few actually given how many arrows he took and stuff in staged finale) but there’s not necessarily confirmation of scars other than that, and Quackity can’t exactly take credit for those.

There’s also the question of whether he was dying and respawning as non canon deaths, especially because again Quackity is using some high damage weapons. Though I tend to lean away from believing that since that isn’t shown except with Sam accidentally killing Dream after Techno escapes.

I also don’t personally think he suffered anything super noticeable because the guards in prison as well as Ghostbur and Tommy and even Techno, don’t mention the torture. Ghostbur and Tommy don’t notice anything, Techno has to be told, and the guards like Badboyhalo even after hearing screaming still seems almost unsure of himself. Plus, Antfrost talks about visiting Dream and yet had no clue about the torture until Bad brings it up. So in my mind he doesn’t have anything too mutilated or missing body part wise, because that’d be kinda obvious. This includes eyes and also even missing fingers (though if he is missing one let’s just all agree it’d be his left hand ring finger because of Quackity’s breakup with his fiancés… ;]). (Though if we decide they were using potions then it’s interesting to play around with the idea of Quackity doing something like cutting off his arm and Sam having to fix that like I did in my fanfiction.)

So in my mind, no major cosmetic things, besides being smaller due to poor diet and starvation. Though again, in my mind it’s not quite the same as real world so I don’t like to imagine him as grotesquely skin and bones if that makes sense… (look he can be broken and still pretty ;D).

But despite what I said, I do like to imagine he has scars and I think potions may not have been a staple but probably did happen if Quackity ever went too far. Maybe early on before Quackity mastered his craft a bit more or later when he became more and more enraged and extreme in his desperation to break Dream. Either way, I think it was a rare occasion type deal. And because of that, in my mind he does actually have scars because the potatoes provide poor healing. So other people dying by falling in a hole or fight in a war don’t really have scars from that due to respawn and potions or golden apples, while Dream deprived of that would have more lasting effects (because as someone with many scars I like to imagine he has some as a testimony to what he went through). This also means that some of his broken bones perhaps didn’t heal properly causing some pain or even having things not quite right. So fingers bent wrong if you really studied them or knees misaligned or whatever. So some sensation of pain at all times is pretty guaranteed. Though even without injuries healed wrong he’d still have chronic pain because scar tissue is very sensitive and messes up the nerves so it freaking hurts, it hurts to move, it hurts to touch, it hurts to use… etc.

One of the things he’d do would obviously be to cover the scars and hide them from view, because embarrassment, shame, looking weak… etc but he’d definitely do it in really soft and not super tight fitting clothes because again the skin is sensitive.

I sometimes like to imagine that for injuries that are obvious and badly healed enough he would like break them and reheal them, maybe even with Punz’s help. In general though, broken bones, concussions and stuff heal on their own given time so even if not the best, things heal eventually and Dream is up and about swinging an axe so it ain’t like he’s too debilitated. Still, moving and stuff would be painful and he’s definitely not in shape like he was so it makes sense why he uses so many pearls all the time and why Tubbo would say to Punz in the finale about killing him, “He was sluggish—he was slow—he was out of practice we took him by surprise.”

Though, I do think sluggish and slow could also be a reference to his mental ability as well, implying he isn’t as quick witted or as good at reacting, something that if you watch that finale fight does align. His counter measures aren’t super fast especially compared to how adaptable and swiftly clever he was before.

Obviously, he likely has Depression, PTSD, and an Anxiety disorder, as a result of prison. Anxiety is the one we seen him at least try to mitigate by finding the most secure place to sleep so he can feel less stressed out, not going out and provoking people to avoid being attacked, kinda blocking out the world and stuff, not great for his depression though nor his PTSD…

I also imagine he’d be the type of person to think he could get over fears and trauma by exposure. Like sleeping in the cell with the lava down to remind himself he doesn’t need to be afraid of it… things like that perhaps. With limited success.

I imagine he has a lot of nightmares so he mitigates this by not sleeping as much as possible. Old habits die hard I guess…

Based off of Bad talking to Antfrost after the prison break about how he thinks someone was coming in and torturing Dream: “Anytime I would go and visit Dream he would be all shaky and he wouldn’t wanna talk.” I’d say Dream does shake, sometimes out of fear, sometimes out of weakness, sometimes out of stress, and sometimes because his body doesn’t work as it should. He mitigates this by trying to build up his strength and change strategies in battle if it ever gets debilitating, like switching to food, pearls, potions or TNT. He does a lot of pearling and running, and he never takes off his armor in fear of what might be around the corner.

Despite living in isolation for so long, he’s not overly social like he used to be. He goes days, weeks even without really talking to anyone between spurts of being overly talkative and needing interaction.

When talking to people, perhaps he hides his hands behind his back when they shake, he wears his mask to hide anything he might feel - fear, panic, sorrow, they can’t really see the tears building in his eyes or falling down his face that way. They can’t even really tell he’s hyperventilating unless they are paying attention.

He likes to do a lot of pushing down his feelings, which worked in the prison, it’s a good way to survive but it’s no way to heal. Maybe he schedules his meltdowns or panic to a later time - He’ll get upset about the fight with Quackity at home, he can’t breakdown in the streets now.

Maybe he spends days feeling numb, not leaving his bed, feeling like there’s no point. It’s better that way, if he doesn’t go anywhere he’s safe. If Punz asks he’ll lie, and Punz won’t believe him but he won’t push either………….

“Purpled, do you know what that does to a man do you know the limits that people have it—it goes beyond those limits it’s not okay.”

[teenytinyv]

✨Introducing

✨

✨

✨

✨Me!✨

Hi! My name is V! It isn’t my actual name, but it is what I’ll be going by here!

I haven’t touched this blog in literal years, except recently. I’m excited to get back to it! I have a lot of anxiety about posting, so I’m trying to get over that.

I’ll be 18 in ten days! I regress to a wide range though, pretty much anything under ten. I believe I also pet regress to a puppy!

I’ve had issues with my regression, so this blog is also for that. Recently I’ve been regressing a lot more.

I am a trans man and I use he/him and it/its. I also love dog related neopronouns but haven’t yet made a list for myself.

I believe I am autistic and it affects how I act. This is not to be used to excuse any problematic behaviors I may have, it is simply a request for patience in interactions.

I’d love to make friends! Feel free to reach out. I haven’t had many regressor friends in a few years, mainly because I have not been active on any social medias like I used to be.

My interests include Minecraft, Roblox, the life series and hermit craft, sanders sides, role playing, writing, reading, drawing and coloring. I like crafts in general, and love recommendations.

I plan on becoming a dog groomer, and my dream job would be to run my own dog rescue. I love animals more than anything, and my dog is my entire world.

I also plan on opening a pacifier shop within a few months! I’ve decorated my own, and quite love how they’ve turned out.

I have one golden retriever and two cats who I’m sure I’ll post about! I’ll have to give them nicknames, since I want this blog to be anonymous. I don’t want family/friends finding it accidentally.

I do have a partner and am not looking, even if I were single.

My regression is SFW. Do not sexualize me.

[oftlunarialmoon]

5 Agere Activities for a Rainy Day (Indoors Edition)

Ciao lovelies! We’re moving into spring here where I am, and with the spring, comes LOTS of rain. There are many outside ideas to do for agere, (and yes, even some rainy day ones!) but today, I’d like to share 5 of my favorite agere activities to do on a rainy day, or on days where I can’t go outside (snow, too hot, etc.)..

All of the ideas I’m sharing today are my personal faves!

Idea #1: Change your doll’s (or stuffies!) outfits….or make them some outfits!

Super old pic, I know (I have wayyy different hair now, lol), but this idea is still one of my faves. Picking new outfits for my dolls is always super fun and sometimes I even have a mini photoshoot with them after changing their looks. I can also turn this idea into a full afternoon of play by setting up a “doll salon” to select their looks and they each get a spray of choice perfumes and hair brushes :) 

If you don’t have clothes for your dolls/stuffies, you can also make them clothing or accessories! I’m aiming to put some tutorials of that sort on the blog and possibly on the Youtube channel soon, but for now, here’s some tutorials that I have already made to get you started:

There are many fun and simple methods for making doll clothing or accessories, I once again have to highly recommend MyFroggyStuff’s Youtube channel for this! She has awesome ideas and she makes it all seem so easy. 

Idea #2: Take a fun Bubble Bath!

Taking a fun and relaxing bath is a nice way to both regress, and practice self-care! You can find cute bath toys like these at dollar stores, and bath bombs, bubble bath, bath fizzies, etc as well! I even love buying the “bath puppets” which are just washcloths that go on your hands like a puppet, and are shaped like animals! I have a sharkie and a froggie. When I take baths or showers, I like to imagine going through a checklist with my scrubby buddy (most often Mr Sharkie) to make sure I get 1000000% clean! Sometimes I even make a little song of this and hum it to myself. :)

It’s also nice having access to fun body washes and soap! My current favorite body wash is scented from “Viva las Vegas SWEET” which is some kind of perfume thing, but it smells like candy, and it looks cute out of the tube! (it’s pink and shimmery 0.0)

I’ve also seen body washes for babyshark, Barbie, and other kids franchises! Oh, and even some grown-ups products are still cute for this too! I have a Hello Kitty sugar scrub that was intended for grown-ups, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t cute anyway! :) Oh, and Crayola makes body wash “crayons” as well, the tubes are crayon shaped and the body washes are colorful!

Okie, okie, that’s a lot of me rambling about baths, sorry >.<

Idea #3: Play Video Games!

Sometimes there’s nothing better than wearing comfy clothes, having a nice snack, and playing video games! On rainy days this activity feels super cozy and wonderful, and there are lots of games out there that are cute and good for agere!

My current faves are Animal Crossing New Horizons on my Switch, Sandbox Coloring App on my phone, Nintendogs on my 3Ds, and Minecraft on my PC! I love that games are on a lot of different devices, so that I can always find something to do~

I think Animal Crossing is a really cool game for age regressors, and the New Horizons one is very cute for a lot of reasons! I can dress my avatar up in cute fashions and i can even buy…..pacis! and…..Cute kawaii dresses!!! :0 You could make your dream agere outfits in this game, and i do it all the time, tbh!

Idea #4: Journaling or Writing in a Diary!

I love love love my regression journal! I use stickers, washi tape, coloring pages, crayons, markers, and more on it, and it’s really freeing to have a journal that doesn’t need to be neat or tidy. My daily journal is also my regression journal, as I am someone who is semi-regressed all the time! :3 I also do vent journal entries in this journal (to share with my therapist), and lists, collages, doodles, info pages…lots of things! 

I have an article on here actually about Agere Journaling! 

I also want to briefly ramble about my stickers, I have found 2 really good sources of stickers for my journal. The first is a subscription service called Stickii, which sends you a themed sticker pack every month, these packs include stickers from lots of independent artists and I really love each one I’ve gotten so far (I’ve gotten 2 so far.) **DISCLAIMER: I am not sponsored or affiliated with this brand, I just wanted to give a personal recommendation! 

The second is Blippo Kawaii Shop, which sells sticker mystery bags which I have an opening video of on OFT’s IG! :) I love their selection of kawaii stickers, and it’s always fun getting a package from them. Also… once again: **DISCLAIMER: I am not sponsored or affiliated with this brand, I just wanted to give a personal recommendation! 

Idea #5: Play with Legos or building blocks! 

Something that I love doing when I am small is playing with building blocks or legos! I like the Minecraft sets or the dollar store legos! :) I use the legos to build things for my mini town and dollhouse, as well as make dollrooms! :) 

Megablocks have larger blocks as well if you regress younger and want something more simple. Also… once again: **DISCLAIMER: I am not sponsored or affiliated with this brand, I just wanted to give a personal recommendation! 

You can use building blocks to make obstacle courses for your minis, specific types of buildings for playing pretend, mecha robots for epic battles…….>.<’ sorry my brain totally went to gundam XD

They also sell building block sets for making iconic characters like pikachu and other pokemon, as well as other anime and game characters! I think this type of block is called a nano block.

CONCLUSION: 

What do you think of these 5 agere activities for a rainy day? What activities are your favorite when small? Let me know in the comments, I love hearing from you lovelies and having great discussions!

And now for the most important thing in this outro…..I get to say……

STAY AWESOME!! You are awesome, just as you are, and you should look at yourself with love and kindness. Don’t forget to love yourself, whether you practice self-care, treat yourself, or take care of your future self by getting a task done ahead of time, self love is important!

Okie, all my ramblings aside, see you in my next post, video, or whatever comes next!

[blockgamepirate]

So there’s another one of those cool Hermitcraft trivia posts circulating again which I kinda wanna reblog but also I’m feeling a little bit hesitant because some of the points seem maybe a little bit inaccurate or exaggerated? Like I’d like to fact check them first at least.

(Particularly what stuck out to me was the point about season two only happening because Joe did a coup, because that’s not how I understood that story the way Joe and Xisuma have told it? Or at least as far as I can remember... the impression I had was that Xisuma was mainly the person who took the initiative to keep the server going but Joe was one who broke the gridlock on whether or not they should add new members by just straight up inviting Cleo without asking the others.)

(So maybe a more accurate way to phrase it is that without Xisuma season 2 wouldn’t have happened, but without Joe, season 2 might not have had any new members. And at this point the only still currently active Hermits who were already on the server were X, Hypno and Joe, so the lineup could have turned out very differently, if the server had even survived past season 2.)

(I could be wrong but I’m pretty sure this is how I remember hearing it?)

But what actually annoyed me was this comment from someone (not OP, to be clear) in the notes:

(cut for discourse reasons)

#these people have been around for so long #compared to dsmp where its like new white guy who popped up in 2021 fully formed LMAO

(Don’t go looking for this please, and don’t harass this person, I’m just highlighting this because it’s an example of an attitude you see a lot. It’s not just this specific person who I don’t know at all and whose url I already forgot.)

So

1:

I don’t wanna start counting diversity points on each server like it’s a fucking game, but I DO wanna point out that the “white guy“ comment is pretty rich coming from a Hermitcraft fan.

Both servers have a white guy problem.

But at least with Dream SMP I can actually think of more than one creator who isn’t white, and it didn’t take them until season 2 to add a second female member...

(I know Hermitcraft is more of a private and closed group and they have extremely strict qualifications they demand from new members, plus every current member has veto power, so it’s much harder to add new Hermits than it is to add new DSMP members where it’s all decided by One Guy, but I think some frustration about this is still justified due to how big Hermitcraft is in the MCYT community.)

It’s also extremely annoying when apparently there was a whole thing where Hermit fans were insisting that Quackity is white during the sexyman polls?? Presumably just to excuse their shitty behaviour??? idek. (And I also heard on the other hand that there were some straight up racist comments made about Quackity as well. He literally cannot win, apparently.)

2:

What is this weird attitude towards new creators?? Yes, it’s cool that Hermitcraft has been around for over a decade and that the Hermits have all these cool histories in the community and even influenced the development of the game itself, but you can celebrate that without needing to put down new people, ffs.

I know it’s annoying when the new guys suddenly get more popular than your guys, but it happens, it’s the circle of YouTube. Please chill out. No need to be a hipster about it.

Besides, even if we don’t count people like Vikkstar who admittedly didn’t play on DSMP all that much, there were still people on the server who had long histories in the MCYT community:

Phil has been making Minecraft videos at least since 2012, when he started his first Hardcore Series, and holds the record for the longest running hardcore world to date. There’s a splash text in Minecraft referencing him (”Ph1lzA had a good run!”)

Techno started his channel in 2013 and was part of the Hypixel player council (or was it called the Elite Team back then? Not sure) since he was like 14 or 15, helping with testing and game design on many of the iconic Hypixel games before the server became the biggest Minecraft server in the world. He too has a splash text in the game (”Technoblade never dies!”)

BadBoyHalo has his own PVP server called MunchyMC which was launched in 2015 and before that he was part of the staff on a different PVP server.

Also while more recent, a whole bunch of DSMP members were also on SMP Live and SMP Earth back in 2019. In fact 2019 was when a lot of the DSMP members originally got their initial boost into popularity.

Honestly the only DSMP members who fit the description of “new white guy who popped up in 2021“ are like... probably Foolish and BoomerNA??

3:

I think you probably meant 2020 anyway, because that’s when Dream, George, Sapnap, Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo became popular. I assume so anyway because those are usually the white guys people actually seem to be talking about when they talk about DSMP white guys. (Obligatory note that Ranboo is in fact nonbinary though.)

tl;dr:

You can just hype up the Hermits and just not say anything about DSMP. That’s an option. Especially if you clearly don’t know that much about DSMP.

[m1d-45]

sorry i've been mia i was busy rizzing up the kaeya and diluc ais. anyways imagine reverse isekai with ur main. i personally would have a blast being able to talk about minecraft and mystery flesh pit national park and warrior cats with people who do not even have the internet.

also my diluc and kaeya plushes arrived and now i need to make clothes for them so they won't be naked but i have to make sure they have an equal amount of clothes with an equal amount of effort put into them so that it doesn't seem like i'm favoring one brother over the other (this is the same reason why i bought the diluc and kaeya plushes together in the first place) - teddy anon

1) it’s ok 2) kaeya ai? 3) this idea oml

aside from the fact that showing them all the weird and obscure shit in our world would make them lose their minds (speaking of nobody tell them about organized religion. barbatos is surprised ppl follow him after a few hundred years of no contact well look at this right here-) they’d be fascinated with how you control them.

i imagine they wouldn’t appear in game, and you couldn’t like use them for anything. makes logical sense to me.

if you’re like me and struggle to form teams at all, let alone ones without your One Good Built Character, they’re borderline going to be apologetic at seeing how you struggle. part of them is proud they’re so needed, but the other part is sort of sad.

i literally only run teams w/o kazuha for the abyss because his playstyle and the team i run for everything else is so ingrained in my head. i genuinely struggle if i don’t have an anemo character on my team and always fumble for a while if it doesn’t have kaz because it’s like i forget i don’t have him. it’s a problem—

if you’re not dependent on a single element like i am, they love seeing you work around them. it’s simple, you explain, swapping to an alternate team, and they watch in awe at how easily you adapt to change. they marvel at reactions they haven’t seen, at how much this new team differs from the one with them in it.

if you try and show them how to, they’ll immediately insist that they’re fine watching, that they wouldn’t dare touch such a holy object or manipulate teyvat in your stead.

for some, this is true. for others, they’ll cave with enough pressure.

itto treats your controls with the most delicate care, very gentle with everything as to not break it. not really prone to gamer rage, more so just “your grace, i can’t figure this out :(“ and watching over your shoulder as he promises “ok, i’ve got it this time, swear!” he doesn’t, but the smile on your face as you watch him die for the nth time soothes any anger he feels. refuses to kill rifthounds btw.

mona doesn’t know anything. you could tell her sixteen times how to access the inventory and she’s still asking you which button it is. don’t tell her about the wishing system she’ll quite literally lose her shit. she doesn’t understand the value of items like dream solvent but refuses to spend even a single coin of your mora or your food. collects her own ingredients and keeps track to cook her own food because “i wouldn’t want anyone else touching what’s mine.” pls tell her it’s ok and losing some of your 2k sweet flowers isn’t the end of the world.

ayato wouldn’t directly play, but he does sit beside you and offer semi-functional ideas. “run a team with x y z characters,” “fight this boss without the element it’s vulnerable to/full physical damage,” “take on this enemy without a healer,” etc etc. he likes seeing you solve problems, and likes watching you explore. if you have low mora he’s incredibly confused, but doesn’t comment on it once he sees how much it is to level a talent or ascend someone. if you have like 7mil mora and go “why do i have so little :(“ he’s asking a few more questions, but overall is silent about it. you don’t have a job in teyvat, and get most of your money from chests or leylines. it makes sense you guys would view mora differently.

alhaitham doesn’t touch your device, but kaveh (yes he isn’t out at time of writing no i didn’t ask) could be convinced into exploring a bit. he refuses to engage in combat and always uses his glider, never dropping more than a second or two at a time. panicks if your characters get hurt at all and either runs to a statue of the seven (give him time, he forgets he can teleport) or triggers your healers skill. if you run a character that has hp drain he’s flipping his shit and either demanding to know how to change the team so they don’t get hurt or runs them and three separate characters. loses his shit when you tell him about the teapot. that’s all he does now lmao.

zhongli will tap at stuff a bit, get a hold of the general game, and then just. not play. you tell him he can do commissions if he wants or run domains and he shakes his head, “i will not interfere with a world i don’t own.” so silly. doesn’t understand why shops don’t give you stuff for free. speculates on how monsters dying gives you mora. refers to everything by their full names no matter what silly nicknames you have for anything. if you have a well-decorated teapot/generally take care to plant stuff or collect realm bounties or similar, he’s happy. if you mostly neglect it, he’s asking why. it’s an adeptal art, and he needs to know if it isn’t satisfactory.

yae would love to manipulate a world of her own, but the knowledge that the world you control is real and has real actions is a bit too much. yelan asks to see, but only because she wants to know what you’re on about when you talk about lag, ping, or hitting the wrong button. finds it funny even gods can mess up. yanfei fusses over whether she should even be allowed because of like divine right to rule and whether her interference counts as idolatry since she’d technically be playing god. you let her worry about it in the corner and don’t ask questions about where she pulled that giant book of law from.

if you allow him to, venti sits in your lap while you play. he’s very much just a guy that’ll sit with you and maybe play his lyre if you’re getting frustrated, and adores the ingame soundtrack. give him youtube and point him in the direction of the ost and he’ll obsess over it. within a week he has everything memorized and has composed at least three ballads about ‘the song of the heavens’. wont actually do anything directly, but if you’re running abyss and ask him for suggestions on fun team comps, he’s already got ideas. is a bit unnerved at first if he recognizes some of the people on screen, but rationalizes it quickly enough. if you’re like me and leave your characters sitting at a bench or table before logging off, he insists you sit them in the statue in mond.

neither childe or scara even entertain the idea that they’d be allowed to use your device, and just kinda watches from the side. scara laughs a bit if you get hit by an enemy. childe asks about what his build is prior to his vanishing and probably studies meta and like crit ratios and stuff (no i don’t know what meta qualifies as yes i’m just sayin shit). xiao’s worried his karma could infect through the screen, and wouldn’t dare suggest anything. if you’re doing it, it’s good, if you’re not, you have a reason. ask for his opinion and he’ll bluescreen.

[faithdragon36]

Faith faith faith gimme some c!faith lore I wanna know more (hey that rhymed)

OKAY SO c!Faith is a world jumper!! She’s got three main worlds that she hops between, those being Lunightia (my singleplayer world, her home world), a server called Wander SMP that is whitelisted and has its own lore (I employ a popular fandom trope called “story magic” to explain how this can be the same character even with all of the insane bullshit that goes on over there, and why it doesn’t follow her between servers) and Islandcraft! Which, for our purposes, also has story magic, although it’s gotten pretty out of control since it involves near-total amnesia and is affecting the server’s Admin(s).

She does not have any control over her powers and most of the time does not remember jack or shit about what goes on on the other servers she’s on, the rare exception being that she might sometimes remember stuff while on Lunightia, have dreams/nightmares about her other servers, get deja vu for no reason she can understand, or if it makes a joke work. You know how it goes!

Before she managed to settle with Lunightia as her home world, she jumped through a lot of worlds, usually with a specific person whose name and face she can no longer recall, but alone on occasion. (This is based on my experience playing Minecraft on Xbox 360 and Pocket Editions before they shut down, lol)

I’m assuming you’re not looking to hear about Lunightia, though, you want to hear about Islandcraft right?

Well.

She, like c!Kitty, is trapped within the narrative. That being the giant, semi-unstable time loop they’re both stuck in. Fortunately for them, the precise combination of how my headcanons work means that neither of them will permadie because of this arrangement (a combination of “Players are immortal,” “Story Magic can fuck with time,” and “I mean, is it really a time loop if you’re not resetting everything, down to the biological level?”)! That doesn’t mean there can’t be Angst, though >:3

See, c!Faith is a water dragon. She has gills. She shouldn’t, really, be able to drown at all. But her fate in this loop is to drown with c!Kitty, every time. She shouldn’t need a ship, but she’s a pirate- she could hardly sail without one, right?

And yet. She’s only a pirate after meeting him for the first time (the tenth, the twentieth, the hundredth time). She has to relearn it all, every loop.

How to swordfight. How to rig up the sails and the ropes. How to aim the cannons, how to read the maps, how to find the long-forgotten treasures, how to steer the ship from all the way in the back. It’s not second nature, even now.

One thing she knows, though, is that the world shouldn’t be like this. It’s weird. Sand doesn’t come in pink and blue and black. There is no yellow biome in the Nether. She knows this. But… How does she know? She can’t remember a time before the world was like this, can’t remember any other worlds at all. (She doesn’t think about it. Don’t think about it, just let it simmer, quietly, driving you slowly, steadily mad as you struggle to remember something, anything-)

Unfortunately for her, she’s not going to be getting any answers any time soon! This world is just slowly mutating and she is powerless to stop it :)

Fun fact about c!Faith! She’s 2’10 (picture a Maine Coon but a dragon) and adores endermen even though you’d really think that such a small creature would be at least a little intimidated by the height difference. She can also walk quadrupedally, if she wants to, but mostly doesn’t because being able to use your hands is actually pretty convenient and, shockingly, it’s really difficult to do that if you’re standing on them.

Now, to be clear, the premise we’re building Islandcraft on is that this has happened before, and it will happen again. This isn’t even close to the first time they’ve played through this song and dance. It won’t be the last. These pirates and their Vaguely Desperate Godlike Entity are going to be running this whole shebang for a good, long while yet. That being said…

…This is our first time playing this out, so not all of the details and plot holes have been ironed out yet. Also it’s, like, really late, and I haven’t consulted literally anyone else about all of the things that I just said, so if there are some small contradictions please assume that the other person is right

[wolfwillowisp]

Had yet another weird ass fucking dream. So I’ve been playing a lot of modded minecraft. So much that apparently I’m having fucked up dreams about it. I was playing a modpack on the forge launcher, pretty large one, and testing things out in creative mode and I see a structure that spawned in naturally. It’s clearly some type of arena, with multiple rings of stone block walls and iron doors separating the entrance from the actual arena. Above each iron door was an item frame containing one of those the following each: the strongest weapon in the mod the structure was from and a full stack of “Haystack Armor” added by the mod. The haystack armor is essentially a ghillie suit, making you invisible to all mobs while crouching. So five rings of stone blocks and equipment later I enter the arena, now in survival mode and the structure spawns its boss: Pee Wee. Now this thing. This fucking thing. Did not fit that name at ALL. It was the side of a player and had the base model of one, altered to look like an anthropomorphic animal of some kind with a wolf like peg tail and a long muzzle as wide as the head. Guessing by that and the bumps on the texture it was meant to be a crocodilian of some kind and I interpreted it as an alligator. It was also blue. The whole texture was various shades of similar blues except for the eyes which were a hollow looking black. It had sickles in place of its hands which were modeled in a decidedly non minecraft style. Looked PS1/N64 like. Clashed with the rest of the relatively normal model. Anyways this thing FLEW straight at me, extremely fast. Like one of the fastest mobs I’ve ever seen. It two shot me. When i Re spawned I went back into creative mode and. Was met with my personal new worst sentence in a dream, in that chatbox was this message: Pee Wee has entered Creative Mode.

Why is my post doing this

Ok anyways Pee Wee “Entered Creative Mode” and shot upwards out of the roofless arena and made a beeline straight at me and killed me in two shots. In creative mode. No matter where I went or what I did Pee Wee continued to hunt me. Done with its bullshit, I left that world and started searching for what mod it was from. I remember my search terms even “minecraft [version] modded mob, invincible alligator pee wee”. And somehow that word spaghetti got me two top results. The first result was for a video from the very real YouTube channel JaidenAnimations and was about her and her friends’ experiences with a remade modern version of the classic meteor mod. The second result was exactly what I was looking for. The mods curseforge page. I clicked through and scrolled down through the otherwise normal features of the mod, and at the bottom of the page was a brief description of Pee Wee. It read: “a supernatural assassin that can follow its targets between dimensions. Once it finds a target it never stops.” Pee Wee can also travel between different minecraft saves/worlds by the way. When i got back into the select world menu I had a loading screen pop up of Pee Wee in a block made cartoon rocket with the text: “Pee Wee is invading other worlds!”. I closed minecraft and removed the mod from the modpack. To replace it, I took a look at the new meteors mod: and honestly I kind of want this one to be real. Like so bad I’d get into coding and contact the original modder bad. The base mechanics were the same it still had the space cats and space creepers that could spawn at meteor impacts. But it had even more meteor types, more mobs like a wide variety of slimes two of which were tameable, also tameable was an small undead dinosaur. I switched the mods out, deleted all my previous worlds and that was that. I’m guessing my brain constructed Pee Wee from a combination of various edgelord herobrine mods(why are those always hostile! Herobrine really isn’t in any of the original stories, he’s just…. Creepy) and Lycanites Mobs. More specifically the Janberwocky mob witch is an anthropomorphic deer with sickles for hands that runs extremely fast. Funny thing is my current modpack DOES have a mob named Pee Wee: it’s a minuscule and adorable lime green fish from the mod Fins And Tails which adds a variety of fictional fish species to the game.

[xavalav]

I don’t know anything about destiny but hiiiiii

HELLO. destiny <33

anyways all you need to know about my destiny au is that eret is an awoken warlock and wilbur is a human warlock and they have a weird rivalry going on right up until eret goes to the dreaming city and sort of abandons her post in the vanguard to help the awoken of the reef and wilbur is all pissy about it and philza minecraft is a gunslinger hunter who uses nighthawk and is generally a menace to society. also techno is a sun breaker titan i will be taking no criticisms on this. i literally have a list of every character and what i think their race, class, subclass, and exotic armor of choice would be im so hehgdhfjf

AND MY OCS. my ocs <3 my main guardian ocs are maya quinni val miya and lazarus-7. they are my babies i’m holding them in the palms of my hands. maya and quinni are both warlocks val is a titan and miya and laz are hunters. i need to make a sixth just to even it all out so i can have a full fireteam of fucking weirdos but they. argdgdgsgeg. maya is my asshole warlock who thinks she’s better than everyone (and kind of is) and is deathly afraid of connection so she just doesn’t! she’s a praxic warlock but she really doesn’t care about their beliefs she’s just kind of there for the perks it earns her and the power it gives her over others. quinni on the other hand is my sarcastic laid back goofball who is smarter than she lets on and plays dumb to learn more about the world around her to her benefit. she’s on of calus’ shadows and does many missions for him but she’s mostly there to keep tabs on him. still she thinks calus is fun and doesn’t mind doing his dirty work. quinni and maya get confused a lot because they are both very powerful and well known figures and they have this weird rivalry about it. but val. oh val <3 straight as an arrow she is. very honest and to the point. she’s a little blunt, very dense, but kind and pure of heart. has a bit of a thing for quinni because those two often run duo missions together and while quinni annoyed the fuck out of her at first, she really really grew on val and now this poor titan is so flustered all the time and is fighting for her LIFE. very lawful good but not like a huge dick about it if that makes sense. she will stand up for her beliefs and morals but she does have a soft spot for her friends and if someone is able to convince her something needs to be done in a less than stellar way, she won’t necessarily participate but she’ll turn to look the other way. miya is my darling hunter. my baby boy. he’s selectively mute and i love him sososo much. he’s a bit clumsy (ie. he falls off the tower all the time those guardrails have nothing on the power of a hunter missing his jump) but he is all about precision and accuracy in the battlefield. mainly uses bows hand cannons and sniper rifles. he’s one of ikora’s hidden and is close with eris. he was close with cayde before his untimely death and sometimes wears his cloak just to remember him. very bad at emotions too, lots of repression until they explode but he’s getting better because he has his friends. and last but certainly not least, lazarus-7. an exo hunter whose head is stuck in the clouds. very spacey but a reliable ally on the battlefield. he does fuck up a lot though and seems to pick the wrong side of things more often than not. some accuse him of maliciously trying to tear down the city, the vanguard, even humanity but those statements couldn’t be further from the truth. he is a genuinely good person and is always trying his best, his best just sometimes isn’t enough.

im soso normal about destiny and its universe if you couldn't tell. this isn't even half of the shit i have written down for my ocs i have so much more about them and i have designs and weapons and subclasses for them to use and i just. aghahghgjdasgdh i love vidja game.

[fastepp]

Remember gamers, “cheating” is only for multiplayer, when you’re on your own it’s “having fun”

[k3rm1e]

cuddling headcanons! ★~(◡﹏◕✿)

this is more of a test thing to see if i like writing this way and if this blog does well

other imagines and headcanons won't include everyone i write unless it is specifically requested and is a prompt i really like

includes: wilbur nihachu karljacobs quackity dream georgenotfound sapnap p!tommyinnnit p!badboyhalo p!skeppy p!eret p!philza p!tubbo p!ranboo

cw: cursing

wilbur:

wilbur is a very cuddle-y guy

to me he seems very soft

i always see people saying he would like spooning, but i disagree

i feel like he would do more of a half-spooning thing with his head on your chest or the other way around

mans would DEFINITELY make you run your fingers through his hair

i feel like he would lay on your chest and just *nuzzle* into the space between your shoulder and neck

anytime you tried to leave him, whether it was because he had to do something or you had to, he would whine. so. fucking. much.

It would probably always go something like:

you - i need to piss

wilbur - no <3

but the moment he decides its time to stop cuddling its fine

and if you complain that you’re gonna miss him he’ll just call you clingy and tease you

like??? sir???

all in good fun though, no bad intentions :)

nihachu:

i feel like you and niki would face each other

with your head like under her chin and in her chest (this is a bad description but look at the “honeymoon hug” on the list for better explanation ;-;)

she would always want to protect you

so she does that by like almost guarding you and keeping you close

niki would definitely do the arm thing where she just lightly moves her hand up and down you arm

i’m so sorry if you don't understand that, it just feels like something she would do

if you haven't experienced that it kinda sorta feels like spiders??? but in a good way???

but generally she is very protective

she just holds you so close the whole time

even if she doesn’t want to let you go, she’s more understanding about it

she would be upset but wouldn’t show it because she doesn’t want to make you feel guilty

niki is generally just an amazing cuddle-r (is that a word?) and has a super comforting presence

karljacobs:

karl would definitely keep your head on his chest

the whole time he would just absolutely squeeze the life out of you

he would constantly bend his neck down to kiss your head

and instead of just like leaving his head down so he could kiss you it would just be:

*inner monologue karl* hmmm i wanna kiss them on their head

and he would lean down to do so which, cute

but then five seconds later he would do it again

and again another five seconds later

and again

very cute karl but please sir, your neck is gonna be so messed up after this

when you had to leave he would be upset, but like niki, would try not to show it

except karl is very bad at that and his pouting would be so obvious

so you would feel guilty and layback down with him

immediately he just becomes (●´ω｀●)

like a happy little puppy

karl is just too adorable for you to deny

quackity:

now we all know this, quackity is a huge dork

which is why i believe he would DEFINITELY use your butt as a pillow

not even in a weird way

i just feel like quackity isn’t too comfortable with touch so this is sorta his way of being close to you without it being a whole serious thing

like he still is able to be goofy and comfortable without it being a whole big thing

him doing this would almost always come with a flatty patty joke from you

which always causes him to threaten divorce, even though you aren’t married

while it isn’t a very good position for things like physical touch, it is good for talking and having conversations

for some reason i feel like he’s the type of person to text someone when they’re right next to each other

so while he’s laying down he’ll just send you random photos of himself

very annoying when your phone is spammed, but also good blackmail material >:)

i don’t think he’d be too clingy

obviously, he enjoys spending time with you

but if you told him you need to go do work or something he wouldn’t throw a fit or pout

big q just seems like he’d be more rational about stuff like that

overall a 420/69 cuddle partner

dream:

one word: spooning

mans just envelops you and has no shame

very big: “no you are mine! >:(“ energy

while he’s sleeping he’ll unconsciously nuzzle his head into your hair/the back of your neck

when you guys got to bed patches usually climbs in and you hold her

i love patches so much i could write headcanons just about her

dream always wants to be cuddling you

if you try to leave he won’t pout, there simply isn't a discussion on whether you’re moving or not

incase you haven’t caught on yet, the answer is no

you need to do work? just bring the laptop to bed

he needs to edit? just sit in his lap at his desk, duh

obviously, he knows at some point you guys need to stop cuddling

he just isn’t too stoked about it

when it comes time where he absolutely can’t cuddle with you, i feel like he’d be more chill

mainly just annoyed

georgenotfound:

i feel like george, like quackity, also wouldn’t be too touchy

i’m pretty sure he has a hard time expressing emotions (please correct me if i’m wrong!!) and i think that would crossover to his sleeping habits

i think he would prefer a sort of back-to-back cuddling position

it seems cold, i know

but also he would most definitely kick at you

so every night while trying to go to sleep suddenly you would just feel *kick*

and then instead of sleep you’re suddenly playing footsie

lots of laughter and warm feelings involved

george would probably pretend that you kicked his leg hard or something and act like you hurt him

the first few times you were actually worried

but then after a few months your only response was a sarcastic “cry about it”

which just led to more laughter

sapnap:

sapnap and you would do a sort of leg hug thing

you both you try to go to sleep in a cute spooning-type position

but the moment one of you fell asleep it all unraveled

you would wake up apart but you’re legs would still be touching

sapnap would joking blame it on you

“wow can’t believe you don't wanna be close with me even when we’re asleep”

“it’s not my fault! i can’t control where i end up when i sleep!”

“no, no. you don’t have to lie. i see how it is.”

“>:(“

but it's okay!

your legs are the first thing to react in a flight-or-fight situation, so they usually react in an honest way

which is like your legs are both reaching to hold each other!

p!tommyinnit:

i don’t get a very touchy vibe from tommy

i feel like the most he would do is put his arm over your shoulder

not in a flirty way, just in a “hey, there isn’t a lot of space, this will make sitting down more comfortable” way

he will let you sorta fidget with his hand/arm

i don't know if that makes sense but what i mean is that he’ll pretty much let his arm go *flop* so you can control it (by like moving it around or playing with his fingers)

in the beginning he would get annoyed

but eventually he would get used to it and wouldn’t really care

it sounds a bit strange but i personally find it very comforting to just have something to fidget with while watching youtube or netflix in bed with my friends

and it’s entertaining (sometimes i do this to me sister to annoy her :>)

he would act like he didn’t mind if you left him

but holy shit he is so clingy

If you try to leave it’ll just be “no, why??? stay here dumbass”

you would be slightly annoyed when he had to leave  but knew he had to film and stream and all that so you would be okay

p!badboyhalo:

you would kinda sit within bad’s lap

like not on his lap, but more of in between his legs

he would have his arms around you

and his phone would be in front of you so you two could scroll through twt or instagram together

or you guys could watch skeppy’s youtube ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

rat would sit in your lap

she’s just;;;;;;;; so adorable

rat is just so soft and fuzzy in your lap and everytime you move to pet her she just melts

rat is the the superior cuddle buddy to any of these block people

p!skeppy:

skeppy, similar to quackity, is a total dork

he would make sure you guys were in a position where he could effectively troll you

so if your head was near his lap he would just flick you or some

“dude can you please stop hitting me in the head”

“it turns out i am not actually hitting you in your head because based on the perpendicularity of the bisector multiplied by the photosynthesis of the dividend, it is impossible for me to do so”

“wtf”

lya is so goddamn sick of you guys

she's trying to get him to actually do something but instead he’s just sitting there throwing paper airplanes at you while you sleep

he’s an annoying asshole but it's okay because he gives you money for absurd reasons

p!eret:

eret has such a comfortable presence

i feel like she wouldn’t be up for cuddling too much

more of like putting your head on a friends shoulder so you can see the tweet their showing you

but they do like to hold hands

holding hands isn’t very intimate but it's also just such a sweet comforting thing

she even holds your hand when you guys are out walking around

like if you guys were getting food somewhere (post-covid of course)

you most likely would get addressed as a couple

and he would just be like”...wut?”

it’s happened so many times at this point you just go along with it

“you guys look like such a cute couple!”

“oh we aren't-” “thank you!”

can you tell that i love eret?

p!philza:

phil always has such dad vibes

i feel like the closest he would get to cuddling is hugs and hand holding

even though cuddling isn’t inherently romantic, he is married to kristen

so i fell he would get most of his touch in with her

but with you he’s just so fatherly

hello dadza

whether you have a good or bad relationship with your father, everyone can admit that philza minecraft is dadza

this is such a dad thing, but tries to hold you hand when you cross the street

no matter the age, he just feels the need to protect you

hugs are similar

uses hugs as a way to comfort you and protect you

just so amazing all around

p!tubbo:

tubbo would love cuddling in any way, shape, or form

if you guys are hanging out at like the park or something and lying down

get ready to become this mans pillow

this is really fun to do with your friends but imagine you guys are hanging out in a field type area (with my friends we hand out in the field next to the cemetery but it can be any open grass area)

tubbo would just use your lap as a pillow the whole time

and when you guys were walking back to his house he would sorta drape his arms over your shoulders (assuming he’s taller than you)

he would do the same thing when you guys were sitting in chairs or at a desk

just drapes his arms over your shoulder with his chin on your head

if it's really late and he's tired he’ll just hug you

p!ranboo:

if you thought tubbo is bad, ranboo is even worse

not even really cuddling, he just likes having a sort of skin-to-skin contact

so handholding and laying on top of eachother

if he’s streaming he will legitimately message ou to just sit next to him

so sometimes if he’s just chilling by himself on the smp you’ll end up on his streams

he’ll have you next to him just because he likes be near someone

and so randomly it’ll just be like “chat, a real human is here, behave”

chat does not behave

(they heavily bully him)

he’s pretty clingy but when you HAVE to leave he’ll understand and just be a bit bummed out

holy shit this took me so long-

if you read this whole thing thank you!

[memryse]

The magic of 3rd Life, or why such a simple hardcore miniseries works as well as it does

For a series which only lasted for eight sessions, 3rd Life has had a profound impact on the MCYT fandom. While it did go comparatively unnoticed on Twitter (as is consistent with YouTube-based Minecraft content as a whole, admittedly), Tumblr and other platforms have fallen in love with this series, and it’s become a vector for many fans to familiarise themselves with Hermitcraft and Empires SMP as well. But at its core, 3rd Life is a simple vanilla survival series with a gimmick. What about it resonates so much with so many people?

I would argue that its simplicity, its small cast, its vanilla gameplay “with a twist” is certainly part of it. It’s an easy series to consume, with many POVs totalling four hours or less, and it doesn’t require any prior knowledge of any of the members. Its mechanics are easy to understand. As a standalone, it functions perfectly – it’s immersive and can be followed easily by anyone, regardless of any prior knowledge they may or may not have. However, these factors alone don’t quite encompass what makes 3rd Life so special. Its true charm point lies in the format of the series, and how well it utilises improv.

[more below the cut; this is a fairly long post about 3rd/Last Life meta and my love of its improv. I'm mostly talking about 3rd Life here as it's a completed series, but this most definitely does apply to Last Life as well]

3rd Life is an entirely improv-based series. Whilst members may have a brief concept of the direction they’d like to take their series in – how heavily they want to roleplay, for example – the actual content of each session is fully improvised. Each episode is recorded in one three-hour block, and members are not allowed to play on the server outside of the allotted time other than specifically to finish builds. This time constraint prevents any planning from going into each episode, and interactions between players are completely spontaneous. Players simply run around the map looking for others to interact with (which is significantly easier with the limited world border) and chat about various events on the server, form alliances or deals, etc.

By definition, this almost completely negates the possibility of bad writing. Each player’s reaction to any server event is spontaneous, a legitimate reaction; they aren’t trying to play any specific roles or shoehorn in any specific events (with the exception of the Red King/Hand of the King roles, who were still completely improvising). Even the finale – a distinctly heart-wrenching and tragic scene – was improvised without Grian or Scar attempting to tell any specific story. According to Martyn, they weren’t roleplaying, they didn’t have any aims with that scene. It just happened to turn out in the way that it did, and they were legitimately sorry to one another. The server progressed in this natural way, and every person’s perspective tells a completely different story. It’s hard to identify any specific heroes or villains – fans of the Dream SMP can surely relate to this feeling, but I would argue that 3rd Life takes this one step further. 3rd Life is a tragedy from all perspectives, a tragedy which tells one cohesive story in its entirety before stopping as abruptly as it began.

3rd Life hinges entirely on its interactions between its members. Whilst solo content does exist – base building, for example – the majority of each session is spent interacting with others. 3rd Life is carried by its dialogue; nothing else drives the story, and yet many episodes are between 30 minutes and an hour long. It’s that dialogue-heavy. Members of the server have expressed trouble with even editing their videos because there is so much key dialogue that they don’t want to cut. People don’t watch 3rd Life for the actual gameplay, at all – there’s so little of it! They watch it for how each member interacts with the people around them. This is something not found in any other SMP I’ve encountered. SMPs livestreamed on Twitch have plenty of downtime, and people will happily watch streams on that SMP no matter what’s occurring on the server; people often watch them for their interest in specific members. Other currently popular YouTube SMPs, namely Hermitcraft and Empires, are well-balanced between solo content and interactions, and all server content hinges on the members’ various skills like building and redstone. 3rd Life is, to my knowledge, the only SMP which does not rely on building or redstone skills (what’s the point, when they’ll be dead the next week?), it doesn’t rely on the creator doing solo work talking to their chat, it doesn’t rely on planned roleplay. People legitimately just want to hear various members talking to each other. It’s a fascinatingly unique series in this regard. This dialogue-heavy aspect of 3rd Life ties back to my earlier point about 3rd Life feeling like a completely different series from all perspectives; with all of this dialogue being conveyed through proximity chat, so many events are entirely left out of other POVs, or presented in very different lights.

The pure improv format also helps significantly with worldbuilding, whilst also leaving plenty to the imagination. MCYT fandoms always require a significant amount of imagination to become invested in them, let alone make fan content of them, and 3rd Life is no exception to this. As discussed in this post, which was incidentally the inspiration for me to write this one, 3rdLife is full of lines which flesh out the series, which illustrate what happened better than can be shown in Minecraft. These lines are improvised on the spot, and are often complete throwaway lines in the creators’ eyes. In the fans’ eyes, they make 3rd Life feel alive, they provide plenty of material on which to base headcanons. Again, this isn’t necessarily unique to 3rd Life, it’s a common aspect of all Minecraft series, but I think this is where the rather angsty nature of 3rd Life comes into play. A dramatic survival game, entirely unscripted, with all events hinging entirely on your interpretation of them? It’s not hard to see why 3rd Life fans are so creative with character designs and fanfiction – hell, a lot of 3rd Life fics simply narrate canon in their own more dramatic light. Canon-compliant fics are significantly more common for 3rd Life than other fandoms I've encountered, because people hear these simple lines and want to dramatise them, put their own spins on them. I don't feel that this would be possible with any other series, not to the extent that 3rd Life fans do it. Other series' canon is either already dramatic, and so rehashing it can feel repetitive, or so lighthearted that people write AUs/new storylines. 3rd Life strikes a brand-new balance.

The development of its characters is also bolstered by improv. As no events on the server are pre-planned, members have to react completely spontaneously to anything that occurs. They don’t get time to think – only to react as though they genuinely were in that situation. As I said at the start, 3rd Life inherently lacks bad writing, because it’s not written. Ren, for instance, began 3rd Life as a kind and harmless person, with others often walking right over him. His reaction to his death by Grian and Scar’s trap spurs him to become the Red King; he raises an army and goes to war, and ends the series having taken countless lives, becoming hardened by war. He begins Last Life by isolating himself from others, seeming jaded and unwilling to form alliances, ready for another war to break out. Being improvised, it’s impossible to say how much of this was deliberate, or if Ren just started building his base without thinking about continuity from the previous season. This improv is what makes it feel so natural. It isn’t planned beforehand. This is Ren’s natural reaction to starting Last Life. It makes his character feel so much more real than it would if this was all scripted beforehand.

3rd Life is, overall, a testament to the power of improv. It manages to be compelling and dramatic without any acting feeling forced or wooden. Its characters’ arcs feel natural, because they are natural. Placing such a heavy emphasis on dialogue, with the gimmick of the server being a vehicle for interactions to happen rather than the sole appeal of the series, makes it truly feel as though we’re getting a glimpse into the characters’ lives, rather than watching a story which has been written beforehand. We get to watch everything unfold in real time. 3rd Life has a magic to it that, to my knowledge, no other SMP has been able to recreate.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I read Clementine Book One 9 times so that you don’t have to read it at all

Spoiler-free review: It’s not great. 1.5/5 stars. 

"Clementine is back on the road, looking to put her traumatic past behind her and forge new path all her own. But when she comes across an Amish teenager named Amos with his head in the clouds, the unlikely pair journeys North to an abandoned ski resort in Vermont, where they meet up with a small group of teenagers attempting to build a new, walker-free settlement. As friendship, rivalry, and romance begin to blossom amongst the group, the harsh winter soon reveals that the biggest threat to their survival...might be each other. “

The best way I can describe Clementine in this is if TFS never happened and this is an older, slightly less angsty ANF Clementine who also lost a leg.  She’s not great.

Amos is the best character. He has a goal, a drive to reach that goal, and an actual personality that shines through in every page he’s in. He’s also the only character Clementine has any real chemistry with, which isn’t good news for her new love interest. 

Speaking of which, Ricca didn’t reach the potential I felt she should’ve. She has a fine backstory, but the way it was delivered was info-dumpy and not built up well. Her “romantic chemistry” with Clementine is practically non-existent, rushed, and a little awkward. 

The twins, Olivia and Georgia, were bland and annoying.

The baddie of the story is weak as hell. They do something terrible for a reason so overdone that it actually makes my brain mad.

The story is okay for the first half, but takes a steep nose dive in the second half that ruins what little good will it got outta me. Everything mentioned that was from the games felt shoehorned in for fanservice points and not because it contributed to the story. The pacing is all over the place, and the ending is just... annoying. The artwork isn’t Tillie Walden’s best, I know she can do so much better when she’s allowed to play with color and give her work a more dream-like quality, which the story doesn’t.

I originally rated it a 1/5 stars, but after reading it 9 goddamn times, I bumped it up to a 1.5/5 stars mostly for Amos, the few chuckles it got out of me, and one part that I genuinely liked. 

My full detailed review is below. It’s long, gives a recap of the 12-page Clementine Lives comic from Skybound X, addresses the harassment Tillie Walden has gotten over this, and spoils everything within book one. 

so how the hell did we even get here?

On August 14, 2018, the first episode of Telltale’s The Walking Dead: The Final Season was released, a game developed by a team that showed great care and passion for the story they wanted to tell and was meant to give Clementine’s story a satisfying ending. It’s not a game without flaws, both in its storytelling and mechanics. If you’ve followed me for any amount of time, you know I have my complaints about each of the games but at the end of the day, I love them, flaws and all. 

On September 21, 2018, we got the news that Telltale Games would be closing its doors. About 90% of their employees were let go with only about 25 remaining to fulfill the important obligations they couldn’t wiggle out of... y’know, like finishing a version of Minecraft Story Mode made for Netflix.... which if you know me, you know how I feel about MCSM and I’m sure you can guess the speed at which my eyes rolled upon reading that. 

With the closure of Telltale Games came hundreds of people suddenly out of a job, the cancellation of several games, and the realization that we wouldn’t get the rest of TFS. Sad times all around, statements were being made by Telltale [ex] employees, not fun in the slightest, you would go to youtube to watch playthroughs of episode 2 when it dropped and every creator was original enough to title their videos “GOODBYE TELLTALE” or “THE END OF CLEMENTINE.” 

But then Robert Kirkman told everyone to chill the hell out, Skybound Entertainment worked out a deal with Telltale, they’re going to finish off TFS through their Skybound Games division, all with the original development team who were working on it. 

The fans rejoiced, the Telltale team got to complete their game the way they wanted, and Skybound were heroes being praised by the fans. TFS was great, my personal favorite of the four main games. 10/10, would play it 100 more times. Clementine finally got the happy ending she deserved.

....But then we got Clementine Lives as a part of the Skybound X collection...and Clementine Book One was announced for summer 2022. 

A lot less happy after that. 

“blah blah die a hero or live long enough to be the baddie or something.” -Scarecrow, probably

 In hindsight, we should’ve seen this coming. What, Skybound gets all the rights to Clementine and we expected them to respectfully leave the conclusion of her story alone? That’s not how the money is made, babe! 

Clementine is a cow who just wants to be free and eat dewy grass all day in the warm sunlight but that isn’t about to stop Skybound from locking her up in a barn stall before getting on their hands and knees to pull and twist and squeeze every single last drop they can get outta her. Even if she runs outta milk, they can just shoot her and turn her meat into steaks and ribs and tenderloins and anything else you can get out of a cow down to the bones. When they’re desperate enough, they can make some bone broth.... I don’t really know where I’m going with this, we can just pretend I meant this as a metaphor for how they butchered her or something. 

Anyway, anything to continue making money on a franchise that is still fairly popular... I think? Aside from Telltale’s The Walking Dead, I’m not a big fan of the TWD franchise in general, any other content I tried intaking was meh at best. I lost interest in the show after S1. The books about the Governor weren’t all that interesting. I browsed the comics and they couldn’t hold my attention.  

I even played and finished the awful Daryl Dixon prequel game that no one else played. The most interesting thing in that game is if you run for more than 3.5 seconds, sweat blurs and drips down the screen as Daryl shits himself... riveting.

Now we have a Clementine trilogy to throw in there. 

Skybound decided they wanted to branch out into the young adult and middle grade world. Makes sense. Reach out to new fans, get some young blood to flow into crevices left by old fans who are no longer interested, expand your reach as far as possible... all they have to do is tell a compelling story in their well-established world with fleshed out characters while also checking all the boxes to ensure success. Sounds easy, right?  

Enter Skybound X and within it Clementine Lives, a 12-page comic tying together TFS and Clementine Book One.

I have a full in depth look at that comic here, but for a refresher: 

After the events of TFS, Clementine sneaks out of Ericson one morning without telling anyone and we find out that she’s planned her departure for a while. She has maps and supplies hidden away, as well a car stashed somewhere. Before she can get away, though, an older AJ appears wearing Clementine’s hat... Ugh.

He’s rightfully pissed that she would ditch out on everything like this, insists that he’s coming along, and Clementine tells him no. Her explanation for all of this, the reason she’s abandoning AJ and everyone at Ericson, is that she’s not happy... which spoiler alert, is kinda contradicted in chapter 8 of book one??? but we will get into that later. AJ lets Clementine leave and she sets off on her new journey that brings us to the events of book one. 

To say Clementine Lives was poorly received would be a vast understatement. Fans ripped it to shreds, they hated the damn thing, and they were vocal about it. There’s no way in hell Skybound didn’t know how much fans despised Clementine Lives. I mean, people were making long-winded posts/videos about how it was an insult to Clementine’s character and asking everyone to not support the Clementine trilogy, to let Skybound know that this isn’t what they wanted.

Fans hated the portrayal of Clementine and AJ. They felt it had more in common with a fanfic written by someone who didn’t play the games themselves but instead watched a youtube playthrough one [1] time, thought Clementine was cool but didn’t like anyone else and said, “Hey what if Clem ditched everyone and hung out with my OC’s instead??” than it did with the canon of the games.

I mean, who wrote this, right? Did they even play the games? Well...

Tillie Walden and the Curious Case of Clementine’s Character [and other short stories involving obnoxious twdg fans who have nothing better to do with their lives than stalk her instagram account]

I hadn’t heard of Tillie Walden prior to the announcement that she would be the one writing this Clementine book trilogy.

I’ll admit, I hated the 12-page comic, too. In my review I said, “...Skybound and Tillie made this comic, they put it out there and asked for money for it, therefore I’m allowed to explain why it’s garbage as well as ponder over the questionable intent and whether or not Tillie actually has played these games.”

“This comic is awful. It misses the point of everything TFS, and the rest of the series, stood for. There is no heart here. I feel no happiness in reading it, and I don’t detect any passion behind it. It’s a lifeless comic that retcons everything in order to throw AJ away and start fresh with a new adventure for Clementine that makes no sense because the cow isn’t profitable unless it’s milked.”

That was then and this is now, though. While I still don’t like the comic and feel it’s not in line with Clementine as a character or a good direction for the comic, I do believe Tillie has played the games... the problem is she admitted during the Skybound Games XPO stream that she hadn’t played the games prior to getting the job. Skybound reached out to her and THEN she played through them, and she played through them fast...and I doubt she played them more than once. That’s an issue. 

I’ve read some of her other works- On a Sunbeam, Spinning, A City Inside- and I think they’re good, I think she’s a talented artist. Some of the writing choices/themes are a bit iffy but most times I can overlook that because I genuinely love the art. It’s colorful, surreal, dreamy, creative, the kind of art you look at and feel something, y’know? Oh, and she likes to point out, “very gay.” Even if you hate the Clementine books she’s writing, I still encourage you to give her other works a chance. There’s a lot more life and creativity there. I can see why she was considered, despite Tillie saying herself that she didn’t think she was the “obvious choice” for this project..... which yeah, even she knows.

This one pesky little problem has more to do with Skybound than it does Tillie: creating a continuation of Clementine’s story after TFS is a dumb move... especially when the artist you hired didn’t work on the original games, doesn’t typically write stories in a zombie apocalyptic setting so their art style doesn’t let itself well to this particular project, doesn’t have a good grasp on the main character’s previous establishment, hasn’t played the games more than once or twice, probably has to follow a strict set of rules put in place by Skybound because they’re just like that, is under an extreme time constraint of having to finish a trilogy only three years mostly by herself, and is forced to make shit up about the previous games in order to make this comic’s plot exist.

In my honest opinion, Tillie wasn’t a good match for a Clementine story, and if she was allowed to write something completely original within the TWD universe, then this would’ve been a more compelling story to follow. 

Let me say this about Clementine Book One: If anyone else was the protagonist of this story, it would’ve been better. I would’ve given it a 3.5/5 stars if Clementine was replaced with an original character. 

That’s the problem. 

I know a lot of people put the full blame on Tillie for how bad this whole thing is. She wrote it right? She “ruined” Clementine, it’s all her fault that this beloved character and reputation is “tarnished” and she should just cancel the rest of the series, blah blah blahhh. 

I don’t entirely blame Tillie for this. She was hired to write this story because Skybound knew people would buy anything with Clementine’s name on it, good or bad. They knew Tillie had a fanbase who would buy anything she wrote. They knew that no matter how much fans bitched and moaned about it, Clementine Book One would sell. I believe she should’ve familiarized herself with the source material better, but she’s a professional artist. I believe she tried her best to create a good story for this trilogy but it’s weighed down by the fact that the main character had to be Clementine. 

Which leads me to this bullshit that pisses me off. 

There are plenty of assholes out there who stalk her instagram so they can harass every post she makes [even ones that have nothing to do with Clementine] with “#notmyclementine” and “dis comic make no sense clam wuld never lev aj u sux” as if that’s going to do anything. Not to mention the comments wishing for her to be fired, hoping she loses her entire career over this, calling her a fucking groomer, and other disgusting things that you don’t have to scroll far to find in her instagram comments. 

This is the part where I tell everyone to sit the fuck down and stop. There is no reason to harass Tillie for doing the work she was hired to do. Telling her [and Skybound] that she should be fired, making homophobic remarks, insulting her appearance, wishing harm on her, telling her how much you hate her, calling her a groomer, and harassing fans of hers who want to support her is fucking disgusting. 

Clementine is not real. She is a fictional character in a video game. This comic doesn’t hurt her feelings because she doesn’t exist. Clementine, the video game character, is not a real life person. I don’t give a single shit how important Clementine is to you. You are not defending anyone’s honor or protecting them from harm when you post shit like that. You’re causing the harm over a fictional character. Tillie Walden is a real person.  You can dislike the work while still showing human decency to the creator. You can criticize the work while remaining respectful to the creator. It’s not hard. 

Now that you’ve scolded us for the shitty people on instagram, are you gonna actually review the book or are you gonna keep procrastinating...?

Hey, don’t call me out on something I’m totally doing.

And yes, we can review the actual book now that I’ve gone over how we got here and hit you over the head with the “don’t harass Tillie over the comic, shithead” bat. 

Yeesh, so impatient. 

The Plot: it’s thickening... like curdled cheese

First thing’s first, let’s go over the story, the plot, of this thing. Then I’ll go in depth for each of the characters, talk about the “romance,” finish up with my final thoughts, and then talk about Clementine Book Two coming out June October 2023. Cool? Cool. 

Clementine has left Ericson behind and is traveling alone with nothing but a pair of crutches to keep her warm at night. She's discovered by a group of Amish teens after being startled by her own period. Gotta say, I love the attempt to include Clementine having her period tastefully by having one of the other girls be like, “Oh, I just started mine, too,” only for another to be like “Don’t tell her that, ewwwwww!” 

Remember how well ANF handled that? No? Just me? Whatever. 

Anyway, they notice Clementine has a prosthetic leg and offer to take her back to their town to meet Rabby, a dentist who creates prosthetics. This town they take her to is actually neat. They have high walls, guards who have a system of keeping track of everyone who comes and goes, they’re not rude to her during the entrance procedure, there are several buildings with a lot of people walking the streets, they have horses..... oh and Meredith, one of the girls who found Clementine, calls the walkers “devils,” which is fun. 

Clementine gets her new leg before ditching them to go back on the road where she meets Amos, an Amish teen who is out on his Rumspringa [a period when some Amish youth experience greater freedom. The idea is that teens will come back after tasting the modern world] with his horse, Helen, his carriage, and his 16 shirts.

Amos is heading to a mountain base up north in Vermont to help a group build a “strong homestead” throughout the winter, then when the snow melts, he’ll be rewarded with a plane ride. Clementine thinks that’s bullshit, planes don’t fly around anymore, but Amos insists that he saw the plane in the sky. 

Y’see, a man showed up looking for recruits to help build these houses and then flew his plane over as proof that this was real. Amos really wants to ride in a plane, something he’s not supposed to do, hence why he’s going on this adventure for his Rumspringa. 

Clementine gets a ride from him where they save a group of people who were under attack by walkers. However, one of the guys they saved gropes Clementine and she attacks him. 

It’s difficult to tell that’s what happened due to the sloppy art, though. Initially I interpreted it as Clementine thinking he turned into a walker and attacked, but uh no, he groped her. She stomps on his hand after he challenges her with a, “do it,” and then as she’s hurrying to get away, someone else from inside the carriage says, “What did you do to that girl?!”

I would say I’m surprised but given some of the other stuff in Tillie’s works, I’m not. 

Anyway, Amos leaves the carriage with those people, takes Helen and catches up with Clementine. He wants to travel with her, she calls him ridiculous and “I’m not interested in being a bodyguard anymore.”

It doesn’t take much to convince to her, though- Amos promises to leave Helen with her once he gets there since he knows she’d take care of her. 

And I’m strangely reminded of Clementine’s trauma regarding horses from TFS where dead horses appear in her nightmare due to the one she was riding getting shot at the ranch... no mention of that anywhere, but are we surprised? 

They spend a week traveling together. We get a montage of them that I actually like, and adds to my point that Amos has the most chemistry with Clementine in this book. 

They make it to the mountain base where a pair of twins are waiting, and they’re suspicious as hell. 

Red flag #1: No names. They refuse to give their names. 

Red flag #2: One twin shoots Helen without even talking to Clementine or Amos, they just assumed they brought the horse for them to eat when nooo, Amos wanted to leave Helen with Clementine when they parted ways.

Red flag #3: They immediately view Clementine as a liability for her leg and tell her they’re not feeding anyone who can’t pull their weight... two people who refuse to give their names are in charge of your food and shelter, huh?

Red flag #4: Clementine says they’re dangerous and refuses to leave Amos alone with them. 

Red flag #5: the mountain they’re on is literally called Killington. My eyes, look at them roll, there they go across the floor...

Hey, do you think these twins might be bad news? Because I dooooo~

But there’s a really sweet hug between Amos and Clementine after she insists she stays with him. You really feel that he’s scared and hurting after Helen’s death and he’s relieved to have her. 

Up the mountain, we’re introduced to Ricca and.... y’know, not even Louis and Violet eye-balled Clementine this fast. I’ll save it for the romance section but uh... yeah. Ricca’s interest is apparent pretty quick... like right after their first conversation and then it goes no where.

So the twins explain that they need wood for building and the stove, snow melts down for water. Stick to the paths when out because the twins won’t come looking for them [red flag #6], they work from sunrise to sunset but the days are short up in the mountains so they need to move fast. They lose a lot of days to storms, they need to keep track of all their tools and bring them in during those storms or else they’ll never be seen again. Walkers don’t come up here because it’s too cold. 

The twins refuse to answer more questions, and Ricca says she’s been calling the one with the ponytail “Right” and the one with her hair down “Left.” 

Side note: I had a helluva time trying to keep these damn twins straight, you cannot tell them apart for shit especially since they change their goddamn hair styles and have the same goddamn face!

Oh but put a pin in the fact that Amos can tell them apart because “Left has much brighter eyes.”

So they all get to work. Clementine, Amos, and Ricca get pretty close. They go on joyrides with the snowmobile, they spend their nights reading novels together, getting into snowball fights that Clem takes too seriously, hunting, and talking about how sus the twins are. These sections are good, I like them. Especially when they’re reading together- Amos and Clementine read out loud, and when they don’t know a word, Ricca looks it up for them in the dictionary. The three of them are curled up in their sleeping bags, reading by candle light, it’s very sweet. It’s too bad there isn’t more of that in here. 

While out chopping wood one day, Clementine hears a noise that is supposed to foreshadow walkers being underground, and we find out Ricca is a smoker. 

Oh, and Amos gets sick with a fever. Not fun. 

Now let’s talk about the generator because this is funny. Not good funny, though, so don’t get too excited. 

So they have this portable generator, right? It’s for the other lift that they just fixed, so Clementine and Ricca have to drag it about three miles away from the main base, but can take a shorter way over a bridge the twins built. They take a map, put it on the snowmobile, and Ricca let’s Clementine drive. Smart. 

But uh oh, the bridge is broken! Guess they gotta turn around and go the other- just kidding, they’re gonna tie a rope around the generator and swing it to the other side. I wish I was joking but I’m not, aren’t you laughing???

Ricca fucking falls down with the generator and Clementine jumps down after her. 

While down in the pit, they’re attacked by walkers. Turns out the twins weren’t entirely truthful about there being no walkers up here. Ricca breaks her glasses, Clem breaks her prosthetic [which we learn she named Kenny UGH] and Ricca dumps her backstory which I’ll get into during her section.

Ricca then climbs back up and promises to come back, we get a flashback of AJ about to cut Clementine’s leg off? for some reason? and then she starts exploring the cave for a way out... only to be overwhelmed by walkers and then saved by this random dude named Tim who comes out of nowhere.

Tim gets bit, or scratched...? I don’t know, you can’t tell what the fuck is going on during the part. He says it’s just a scratch on the cheek but I thought you only turned if you were bit? Or is it a bite and Tim’s trying to downplay it? I don’t fucking know. 

Clementine feels super bad that he’s gonna die because of her. They have a heart to heart, and it’s one of the better parts of this book. Tim talks about how he lost his husband at the start of all this, how he actually used to look after the twins [whose names are revealed to be Olivia and Georgie- correction, her name is GeorgIA, not GeorgIE, but characters just call her one or the other and it gets confusing] and how this whole building houses thing is for their sick mother. Clementine opens up about how she can still feel ghost pains in her leg and how she ended up alone- every group was the same, they fell apart, so she wanted to come up north to live alone. 

“I can’t... I can’t do this. I can’t keep watching people die. That’s why I wanted to be alone.”

Tim gives her some encouragement about building a better world and lets her to go, she does, and then she reunites with Ricca. Yay. 

Back at the base, Clementine tells the twins what happened and they’re freaked out because Tim’s alive. They interrogate her about him, and Right runs outta there to go find him... Left tries to stop her, and it turns to violence.

With Right gone, Left is super sad, and Ricca is super sad that Clementine didn’t tell her about Tim after they were reunited and then outta nowhere just, “I don’t need a girlfriend or to know all your secrets, just... God, I sound stupid. Just... next time you meet a stranger in a cave, a heads up might be nice.”

Feel that romantic tension? 

Speaking of romantic tension, Left asks Amos to come behind the curtain to her area, and Amos is like “Can I get you something?”..... and then Clementine’s hears a gasp from behind the curtain and Ricca is like “let them have their fun.”

So apparently Amos and Left were fooling around... remember when Amos said Left had brighter eyes? I guess that was foreshadowing all the smoochin’ they were gonna do in the background? I dunno. I’m surprised Amos would be chill with foolin’ around, and Left just got into a fight with her sister which I don’t imagine is a mood setter. 

Right comes back in the middle of the night covered in blood. I believe we’re assuming she found and killed Tim, who was a walker... maybe? She later mentions that Tim told her something sooo did she kill him when he was still alive? Maybe. Who knows? We never find out for sure.

Oh, and Amos was sleeping behind the curtain with Left.... Keep that in mind. 

The next morning Amos fixes up Clementine’s leg, and Clementine asks for the whole story behind him and Left, who he calls Olivia... meaning she told him her real name. But Clementine asks him if he wants to take a walk when night falls because they haven’t gotten to spend much time together, to which Amos tells her, “That would be delightful, Clementine.” 

Can I just- Clementine, why don’t you ever ask to spend alone time with Ricca? That’s a serious question, why? I’m seriously truly to feel something with Clementine and Ricca but all I can say is she has better chemistry with Amos.... Tillie, I don’t understand, you write wlw and you’ve done it well before, why is this so... full of nothing? 

Anyway, Right is being pissy, and Left tells Clementine that she’s going to leave with Amos once they’re all done here. She wants to go back to his town, but her sister can’t know...... because of course not. I’m sure nothing bad will happen because of this. 

Right comes in even more pissed off because Amos is gone and so is the snowmobile. Turns out he took the generator [which Left fixed after it was broken in the fall] to save this “screwed up camp,” as Clementine puts it. 

And Right goes, “there’s a storm coming in, he’ll never make it... but at least it’ll be one less mouth to feed.”

RED FLAG #8 HELLO??

The storm hits, and Right just stands outside like a brooding, suspicious asshole who refuses to come in. Left then explains that they’re here building houses because of her mother. Her mother grew up in the area and thought this would be the perfect spot to rebuild when the world went to shit. She kept them alive, so the twins feel like they owe her, especially since she’s sick. 

Which.... okay? But also what? Like alright, jumping ahead a bit, we do get to see the mother and the place they’re staying in and it’s huge, AND there are people.... why is it just the twins doing this shit? Tim fucking dipped out last winter so why are the twins here? Do they think building houses will make their sick mother magically better? Spoiler alert, it will not! 

This whole part doesn’t make sense. 

But then RICCA decides to go out looking for Amos, and tells Clementine to stay behind because she doesn’t want to leave Left alone with Right.... 

But then fucking CLEMENTINE goes out by herself to look for both of them, all while thinking about Ricca and Amos and the nights they spent reading together.  

But guess what? You’ll never guess- Amos and Ricca are alive and he did it, Amos got the lift to work! He crashed the snowmobile, but that’s okay! The other lift works now! They rush to bring the twins the good news, everything is happy!

And then Right pushes Amos off a cliff. 

...............................Yep.

This is where the story takes a nose dive into shit- Amos is killed because Right found out about Left’s plan to leave with him... apparently?? Left is sobbing on the ground, Right fucking stomps on her back and tells her to shut up, and then pulls out her gun on Clementine and Ricca, who run away. 

Are you laughing? because I’m not. 

What was the fucking plan, you moron??? “Oh step one, push Amos to his death in front of everyone. Step two, break my sister’s back. Step three, fucking shoot Clem and Ricca. Step four, ??????” It doesn’t make sense.

Up until this point, I was fine. It wasn’t great by any means, the plot is kinda dumb with them building houses in extreme weather, everything with the generator was dumb..... Right’s always been an asshole, but now she’s decided to be evil. 

The story just killed off its best character out of nowhere. It feels very “we have to kill someone off, and Tim wasn’t enough, we have to kill off a likable character so that the reader is sad.” 

And like... I can’t even say it wasn’t foreshadowed? because right from the start, you know Right is a bitch. You know she’s an asshole, much more so than Left. Then Left starts smooching Amos and asks Clementine not to tell Right? C’mon... even though we get no indication that she knows about Left’s plan to leave with him. Maybe she saw him peeking from behind the curtain where she knows her sister sleeps and figured out they were smoochin’? I don’t know, I really wish things were actually clear in this damn thing. 

So yeah, Right decides murder is a good idea because she won’t let anyone take her sister away... I feel like I’ve seen something similar to this before. 

We get another Lee flashback, and now Ricca and Clementine are crying. Ricca wants to go looking for him, but Clementine tells her there’s no way Amos survived that fall.... even though he probably could have, we never see his body so I dunno if this is Tillie leaving things open for him to come back or if she didn’t want to show his body to all the middle graders reading this but this is TWD... no body? they can always come back. 

Clementine and Ricca decide they can’t just ditch the mountain yet, they have to save Left from Right- oh excuse me, Olivia... they have to save Olivia from Georgia. 

So they sit outside of camp and wait for sundown... but here is where I get even more pissed than I was before: Clementine explains why she left Ericson. 

“I spent so many years trying to find somewhere safe. And I did. This old school. There were good people there. People I loved. But after I lost my leg, everything felt different. No one said it, but I could feel it- they thought I was a liability. But I think the real issue... was that I couldn’t talk to any of them about it. They were all around my age, and I... I just wanted to talk to Lee about it. Someone older, and... I don’t know...”

“Lee?”

“He, um, was with me in the beginning. Took care of me, as long as he could. After leaving the school, I was alone, like I was when he first found me. And I realized... I was waiting for him. For Lee to come find me. And I was so pissed at him for not trying harder, which doesn’t make any sense, he’s dead... When I was on my own, it was nice for a while. I was so focused, my mind got quiet... I got so sad I would just cry for days, and then I’d get scared... about what my future would be like. That maybe this sadness would never go away.”

“Has it?”

“Honestly? No... not really.”

................I just-

I thought Clementine left because she wasn’t happy? That’s what she told AJ in Clementine Lives, so what? “Well actually, I really left because everyone at Ericson thought I was a liability and I just wanted to talk to Lee again but he’s dead and I’m pissed at him for being dead and not trying hard enough to save me again.” 

This “reveal” is so... bad. It’s bad, I don’t like it one bit because I actually played TFS... more than once. I’ve played it several times, I’ve streamed it about what? Four or five times? Shit, maybe more? I know the story, I know the characters, I know Clementine.

You’re gonna look me in my big dumb face and try to convince me that Louis and Violet looked at Clementine like she was a liability? After everything she did for them? After all they went through? Clementine didn’t feel like she could talk to them about how she was feeling? That they didn’t care enough to reach out to her?

I don’t believe you. 

I think you’re full of shit. 

I’ll rant about this more in Clementine’s section. We gotta move on because believe it or not, we have even more bullshit to cover. 

ANYWAY.... Georgia has Olivia gagged and tied up so she can’t escape.... I just, what is the plan?? What does she expect to happen??

 Clementine and Ricca trick her into coming outside and-

Clementine gets her with the hatchet, but Georgia has a gun up her sleeve and shoots Ricca. The gunshots cause an avalanche. The place is covered in snow, Ricca and Olivia are *not* okay, and Georgie is just spouting cheesy villain lines about leaving Clementine’s body on the mountain. 

Oh, and she starts trying to guilt Olivia with the whole “Everything I did was for you! I’ve always protected you! He was going to take you away from me! Tim told me not to let you go!”

...Again, I feel like this is very familiar.... hmmmmm....

“You’ve never loved anyone, Clementine, I can see it. You have no idea... how far I’ll go... what I’ll do...”

No seriously, why do I feel like there was another, much better written twin character behaving like this.....? hmmmmmm....

Anyway, Georgia gets bit by a walker while trapped in the snow, and Clementine FINALLY says something I agree with:

“Out of everyone in this world that your sister could’ve picked... you were so lucky it was Amos.”

Georgia and Olivia say their goodbyes, Ricca calls Clementine “baby,” and they drag her outta there. 

Now it’s just Clementine, Ricca, and Olivia left. The three of them travel to the lift and get off this damn mountain. They get the bullet outta Ricca when Clementine hears a noise outside. She follows it and finds a one-eyed kitten alone under some junk... because sure. They name the kitten Dr. Barnwell. 

I can’t wait for that kitten to be tragically killed off for dramatic effect later in the series. To be fair to Tillie, she couldn’t possibly write an beloved pet death as bad as Rueben’s in MCSM.

Now the plan is to get back to Olivia’s place, sneak past her mother, and steal the plane. Reasonable, yes? Planes are easy to steal, and easy to fly, too!

Ricca also mentions that Clementine talks in her sleep, but won’t tell her what she says until they’re in the sky. 

They finally make it there, sneak in, Olivia tells her mother she’s sorry before slipping a note under the door, they run around and knock some guards out, and it’s revealed that Olivia’s mother is a walker. 

I think.

The art is too sloppy to fully tell but I think that’s the big reveal. 

So... did they know that the whole time? This is what they meant when they said she’s sick? or was she sick before and then died during this time so they have no idea? Ugghhh I don’t know.

They find the plane that Olivia just happens to know how to fly thanks to her uncle teaching her, they take off into the sky, and they plan to go back to Vermont so they can fly over and “let’s show Amos the plane one more time.”

Oh, and that note Olivia left? 

The FUCKING END. 

That’s it, that’s everything that happened in Clementine Book One. I can’t believe I’ve read this time nine times, holy shit-

The Art Style: I have no idea what’s happening

I struggled with this art style. 

Remember how I said Tillie’s a talented artist? She is, she truly is... when it’s her original works and she’s allowed to play with color and doesn’t haven’t to be gritty to fit the TWD aesthetic. Her original stuff is so clean and you can actually see what’s happening. 

Some examples:

and I get it, her style won’t be for everyone, and that’s fine. I happen to really like it.... but not when it feels like she’s trying to implement elements of TWD grit while also working in greyscale.  

Tillie’s style doesn’t lend itself well to this story. Maybe it would if there weren’t such restrictions put on her by Skybound because I’m sure they gave her a bunch.... but this ain’t it, chief.

As I talked about before, trying to tell the twins apart in this was a nightmare. Olivia has a ponytail, Georgia doesn’t.... but when this is so messy and at times sloppy I can’t tell shit about the hair. 

There’s also the fact that if you removed Ricca’s glasses, she would look exactly like the twins. Clementine and Amos are the only two of the five who you can always recognize. 

Rabby has a good design, and so does Tim... but they aren’t around enough. The walkers- oh god, the walkers- look like blobs most of the time. 

And don’t even get my started on Clementine’s face. 

I can’t with Clementine’s face. 

Clementine: there’s a reason fans are calling her “Tangerine”

This section of the review is the most overwhelming for me because where do I even begin? 

There is never a point in this book where I feel like this is the Clementine I remember from the games. And y’know, I always like to remind everyone who plays the games that no Clementine is the same. We all play the games our way, she shape our Clementine through the choices we make, we have different interpretations of her personality, relationships, how she rationalizes her decisions. My Clementine is different than yours, that’s the fun of these games. 

When you take a character who has thousands of different interpretations, who can follow several different paths, and try to make her into a condensed version for a graphic novel while also trying to stay true to her character and not invalidate any choices.... it’s not going to work. It’s just not. 

So how does Tillie Walden interpret Clementine for this first installment? Who is Clementine here?

She’s dull. Awkward. Angsty. Feels more in line with ANF Clementine than TFS Clementine but toned down. She has a few moments where she teases Amos and Ricca and that’s cute, that’s some personality I want to see... but then she starts on about how talking is hard or makes a rude comment so... that’s cool. 

She feels dumbed down when it comes to first aid solely because the book needs a way to inform the reader of proper amputation care... even though we never see Clementine washing her leg after that.

She’s pessimistic, grumpy, and again, only really shows a soft spot for Amos... which is not good news for Ricca, her actual love interest. Even when she opens up to Ricca after Amos’ death, it doesn’t feel... earned? warm? It doesn’t feel tender, or comforting.... ugh, I’ll talk more in the romance portion.

Clementine does get emotional after Amos’ death, she cries and explains why she left Ericson and I’m still shaking my head at the fact that this book is trying to sell this to me. 

This would be an emotional moment if it were coming from anyone BUT CLEMENTINE.... I played TFS and this doesn’t add up. 

Clementine wasn’t happy at the end of TFS, everyone around her looked at her like she was a liability, so she left. She left AJ. 

Except no? What are you talking about? 

Oh, and by the way? She never mentions AJ to anyone. Not by name, not in passing, nothing. AJ get a single panel flashing back to when he cut her leg off. That’s it. 

Also look at the way he’s drawn. Someone who never played the games would probably think AJ was a baddie who cut off her leg but you and I both know how fucking raw and painful it was for AJ to beg her to get up and come with him. That one lousy image holds nothing from the original.

AJ might as well not exist. If you took that panel out, nothing would change. Honestly? I almost get a bit of bitterness from it. She goes on and on about how she realized she was going to live while everyone around her kept dying, she would spend some days just crying and crying.... it’s not great. 

Clementine feels... immature? And yeah, she’s seventeen in this and seventeen-year-olds aren’t the pinnacle of maturity. I feel like Tillie was trying to present her as mature for her age given her life experience in the apocalypse, but it comes off as emo teenager who thinks they’re mature because they write faux deep poetry on tumblr and wear combat boots. 

This isn’t like Clementine in TFS where you do feel she’s mature. She has to be, she has a child she’s raising and protecting. She has to be strong and smart for him. She has to be the adult in their relationship... but she has those moments of vulnerability to remind you that she’s not an adult, she’s a teenager who was forced to grow up too fast and it hurts. 

In ep4 of TFS, when they’re in the caves after getting separated from the group, she and AJ get into an argument. She tells him that he’s just a child, and he throws it right back at her- “So are you.” and you can see it on her face... y’know? 

You want her to be happy, you want to give back the childhood that was taken from her at the start of the apocalypse, you want her to overcome every obstacle thrown her way.  You understand her feelings about Lee, why he meant so much to her and why she struggled to let him go even after accepting that he was dead. 

You remember that she is a teenager who makes mistakes, she doesn’t know everything, she fucks up. She’s doing everything she can to protect those she loves. You feel that she wouldn’t hesitate to give her life for the little boy she raised. She still has a lot of growing to do but you don’t doubt that she’s gonna do it. 

This Clementine? She has none of that. This Clementine doesn’t feel like the kind of person who could raise and protect a child, who would give her life to ensure that child was safe. You don’t get the vibe of a teen who had to grow up too fast in order to survive, someone who is clever in their survival tactics. This Clementine doesn’t know basic first aid. She was mad that Lee didn’t save her despite being dead. This is a Clementine that I can’t imagine breaking onto a boat full of kidnappers to get her friends back... and it’s not the amputation. 

TFS Clementine, amputation or not, she would’ve charged that damn boat herself if it meant saving those she loved. Comic Clementine couldn’t even be bothered to check and make sure Amos really was dead, it’s just easier to assume there was no way he survived... but then she turns around and insists they go back for Olivia, a character she has no real connection with. It doesn’t make sense. 

It’s just.... not her. I’m sorry, Tillie, but this characterization is okay at best, insulting at worst. 

Amos: I’m signing the adoption papers as we speak, he’s my son now

Amos is the best character in this book, and I’ve yet to find anyone who would disagree with that. Every review I’ve read/watched boils down to “this comic was bad but I liked Amos.”

Let’s be real- he was only made so likable so that we’d all be forced to feel something when he died. 

Before I get more into his character, I wanna nip something in the butt that I keep seeing even after this book’s release- Amos isn’t just white Louis. Amos isn’t a “hey can I copy your homework” of Louis’ character. The most they have in common is freckles and being the friendliest person in the group. 

A key difference being Louis uses cheerfulness as a shield to keep people at a safe distance from him where Amos is just genuinely cheerful in a very naïve and selfless way. 

Or uhh, @pi-creates​ put it much better when we were talking about it-

So no, Amos isn’t just a rehash of Louis, you can stop calling him the white Louis of the comic now, you’re only making it clear that you know nothing about Louis as a character when you do that. As much as I like Amos, he isn’t anywhere near as nuanced and layered as Louis is soooo stop. 

 Anyway, Amos! My dude! The only character I liked! The only character with an interesting personality, motivation, and a set goal he worked his ass off for.... only to fucking die.

Of all the characters to die in this damn thing, it would be Amos, wouldn’t it? Ugh. 

Amos grew up in an Amish community his entire life. When a man, presumably Tim, showed up to recruit workers to help build houses, Amos got to see the promised plane fly over his head and he describes it as the best day of his life. 

So, he worked to convince the council to allow him to go on his Rumspringa, they agreed, and here he is on the road. He fights with an axe, he owns 16 shirts, love his horse, and wears a fun hat. Overall positive, glass half full kinda guy. 

He wants to help people. It’s mentioned by the townspeople that he brings survivors there often, he saves that group of people while he and Clementine are on the road and even goes as far as to leave his carriage with them to go after Clementine and stay with her. 

 Amos trusts Clementine enough to leave Helen with her even though they’ve only known each other for only a week, but through the “montage” page you really get a vibe for how well they work together. I wish it wasn’t just a spread of moments but instead gave actual depth to their journey through dialogue, y’know? 

He finds Clementine funny [good for him, I wish I did, as well] and likes being around her. Also they share some looks that I feel should’ve been reserved for the love interest.... sooooo what the hell. 

When they meet the twins, Amos is quick to be like, “well actually no-” when they start talking about her being a liability for having only one leg, which was sweet. 

I felt so bad for him when Olivia just fucking shot his horse, too... he’s so upset and Clementine’s trying to calm him down, really sucks. 

Oh speaking of Olivia.... their “romance” makes no sense? There wasn’t any build up to it, the only hint we got that he maybe liked her was the comment about her having brighter eyes than Georgia, and her sticking with him when he was sick... but then she asks him to come behind the curtain with her, there’s a gasp, and I assume they were doin’ kissing stuff. Like... why? Why even bother? Unless you needed an excuse for Georgia to murder him? You couldn’t think of a better way to kill him off? So dumb.

He’s not all that complex or anything, just an all around good dude. His biggest flaws are his naivety and being too trusting of the wrong people [Georgia]. I mean.... he just wanted to fly in a plane. He wanted to help people, work hard, and fly in a plane. It’s hard to dislike him for that. 

When Amos died, it was the first time while reading this that I felt something other than “eh this is fine.” I’m still annoyed, pissed even. His death ruined a lot. It marked the start of a steep decline toward the ending. So much bullshit, and for what, y’know? 

In conclusion- Amos makes up an entire star of my rating, the only one worth reading this book for, and he’s supposedly dead now so that doesn’t bode well for Book Two. The only way I’ll forgive Tillie is if Amos comes back as a twist villain, angry that they didn’t even try to go after him. 

Ricca: wearing glasses doesn’t qualify as an entire personality, baby

Oh good, I get to talk about Glasses now.... 

Ricca is... fine. She’s not terrible, but not great. I feel like she had the foundation to be a cool character, but a lot about her falls flat. Her best moments are when she’s with both Clementine and Amos, but things become a little more awkward when it’s just her and Clementine.

She’s a smoker, she’s Jewish, she owns 36 pairs of glasses, has a drier sense of humor that works well with Amos, those two have a couple cute moments in this... uhhh let’s see, she threw a snowball at Clementine once, who overreacted and attacked her which prompted Amos to get between them and Ricca was like “whaaa don’t stop, I was just having fun,” so y’know.... flirting, I guess. 

She does come off as a bit whiney sometimes, which gets grating... especially when she gets butthurt at Clementine for stuff and then tries to act like “but whatever” about it. 

The reason she’s here is to learn how to build houses. That’s why she agreed to work out there, she wants to have the skills to start over, to rebuild what has decayed. 

But her big backstory reveal has to do with why she owns 36 pairs of glasses-

At the start of the outbreak, Ricca was with her brother. He looked out for her at first, but as time went on, he started using her as a “canary in a coal mine.” Basically whenever there was any potential danger ahead of them or if he got bored, he’d push her in to things like camps, caves, herds. She was just a little kid, and there was no where else for her to go... but then she got older, and when he sensed that she was going to leave him, he broke her glasses. 

Ricca had no way of surviving without him after that. She had no choice but to fight mostly blind and deal with her brother. It got to the point where she started wishing for death.... until she was out looking for food one day in a dark building and felt an entire wall of glasses-

-but I’m gonna ignore that for right now. She tried on every single pair, found one that worked, and then ditched him. She has no idea if he’s still alive or not. Wonder if he’ll come back as a surprise villain, who knows. 

Sooo... glasses are a big part of her character, which is fine. I like seeing characters with glasses, personally. There’s also an uncomfortable feeling seeing her talk about her brother and describing how she felt when she got to see clearly again only for the world to be so disgusting that she was sick for weeks. 

Unfortunately that’s about as deep as her character goes and I wanted more. 

She does want to go after Amos after he dies, which I appreciate, but Clementine tells her no. She gets shot, so that sucks for her. 

For being Clementine’s new love interest, and the fact that this is Tillie Walden’s work we’re reading, I expected her to be waaaaay more compelling but she didn’t hit to mark.

But to be fair, she’s going to be in Book Two so I’m assuming that with Amos dead until he comes back as a twist villain we’ll get to focus on her some more and her personality will shine a bit. 

Olivia: the left twin

Olivia is bland. 

A block of raw tofu has more meat than Olivia does. 

I have read this fucking book NINE times now, and the only thing I can tell you about Olivia is that she’s the “nice” twin, she did some smoochin’ with Amos in the background, and she’s super sad that her sister’s an asshole. 

Oh and she shot Helen without asking if they brought the horse for food or not, and then is like “oop sorry, I didn’t know, but it’s cool, I get it, my sister ate our hamster when this started.” 

If I was Amos, I’d tell her to the hell away from me, you shot my beloved pet! and I certainly wouldn’t let her be smoochin’ on me!

Anyway, she knows how to fly a plane, which upon looking back through the book, it turns out it was her uncle that taught her... so that’s cool. She’s the one who named the kitten, she... gets sad a lot? 

I’m sorry, but Olivia is so forgettable and it sucks. I want to be invested in these twins because they clearly have a troubled relationship, and Georgia steps all over her [sometimes physically] and it could’ve been interesting to see her deal with the conflict of staying vs leaving her sister..... kinda like the dilemma Ricca had with her brother..... were those supposed to be connected somehow....? parallels...? hhhnnnnngggggggg thinking too much into it-

ANYWAY... I honestly don’t have much to say about her. Maybe Book two will give her more characterization, but at this point the pothole in my driveway has more depth than she does so... lame.

Georgia: the right “evil” twin

Ugh.

Alright, no more beating around the bush, Georgia is a watered down version of Minerva... but where Minerva is a great, tragic character with good writing... Georgia sucks.

AND she killed off the best character in the book so she sucks extra hard!  Oh my god, she fucking sucks.

Like okay, the twins are here to build a community for their sick mother because the mom thinks this would be the perfect spot so they’re gonna build some goddamn houses in the middle of winter for her with the help of strangers... if that sounds like a dumb reason to you, then you’re right, it IS dumb but here we are. I don’t know what Georgia’s deal is, but she’s an asshole. That’s her entire character: ASSHOLE.

Right off the bat from meeting her and Olivia, you can tell she’s the baddie. You can tell where this is going, she’s going to be the one who turns on the group, maybe she’ll convince Olivia to her side and then she’s gonna try to murder everyone on this mountain called Killington.

She’s the one who tells Clementine that she won’t feed anyone who can’t pull their weight, immediately assuming Clementine can’t do shit because of her leg. She never smiles, never cracks a joke, is never kind to anyone, and apparently she’s super possessive and controlling of her sister. 

Also, she’s a goddamn moron because what did she think would happen when she killed Amos?? that Olivia would just be like “oh okay sorry” after you murdered her boyfriend and then gagged and tied her up while waiting for Clementine and Ricca to come for her so that you could also shoot them??

Y’know, when Minerva confronted the group on the bridge in order to kill Tenn, it made sense- she was bitten, dying, and had pretty much lost her goddamn mind after a year of trauma and brainwashing, being forced to kill her sister, and then losing her new “family” after Clementine blew up the boat. She was furious, out of control, bitten, covered in guts and completely out of her goddamn mind. There was no saving her from the start, and she had nothing left to lose.

Georgia’s just an asshole who doesn’t give us any real indication that she’s dangerous. She’s all talk and glares... then she comes back covered in blood after finding Tim soooo are we to assume that’s when she lost it? When she was like “I think killing Amos will make everything better,” or was it a sporadic, in the moment decision? 

In fact, why wasn’t she the one to shoot Helen then?? Why did you have Olivia, who is supposed to be a thing with Amos later, when you could’ve really established Georgia as the real threat when she shoots the horse and is like, “too bad, so sad” and then have Olivia come in and calm the situation? 

Establish that she’s possessive of Olivia early on, not when she’s two seconds from death and spouting, “He was gonna take you away from me! I had to kill him! I did it all for you!” nonsense...

There’s just so many little things that could’ve been tweaked or added to make her a better antagonist, but no, we’re left with nothing with irritation. 

God, Joan from ANF was a more layered villain than this and she was boring as hell.... ugh. 

Tim: where did he come from?? where did he go?? where did he come from, Cotton-Eye Joe???

Tim’s pretty chill, but a waste of a character. 

He comes outta nowhere to save Clementine and gets bit in the process, but he’s fine with it because it was bound to happen sooner or later, and at least he saved Clementine.

There isn’t too much to say about Tim that I haven’t already said. The scene with him was pretty good, but he’s not around enough to feel like an actual character. He’s just here to make sure Clementine feels bad that she got yet another person bit and to give some info on the twins. 

But he’s dead now so... cool. 

The “Romance”: if you squint hard enough, you might see it? 

I don’t understand why the marketing around this book put such an emphasis on the romance aspect. Remember when the trailer dropped and we got a look at Ricca and it was like “ooohhh new love~”

What love? There is no love, there’s no chemistry, there’s no soft sad uwu wlw love story here! What the hell?? Just gonna lie to me like that, huh?? 

Okay look... I went into this with an open mind about Ricca. Truly, I did. You know me, you know I’m a never gonna change my mind that clouis is the best, but I took both clouis and violentine and set them aside. I put them out of mind and let myself go into this wanting to ship Clementine and Ricca. I was ready for the sad girlfriends trying to survive this bullshit together with their token straight buddy. 

And then I came outta this wondering why Amos wasn’t the love interest? I mean, I know the answer to that so a better question: Tillie, why not just make Amos a girl and have Clementine fall for her instead? The foundation was set, there’s a lot of interesting things you could’ve done with that given Amos being Amish and all. They had a solid thing going on and the only reason I knew they weren’t going to end up together was because it was written by Tillie Walden, a queer woman who writes wlw. 

So I’m baffled at everything lacking between Clementine and Ricca! I mean, Tillie could be saving the meat of the romance for the next installments which fine, if that’s the case then I will happily keep an open mind and see if this relationship improves since right now? This ain’t it, chief. 

Lemme give you an example of something that could’ve been sweet, m’kay? After they have the generator fixed, Clementine asks Ricca why she always leans in so close to her. 

Ricca begins to explain that everything has started getting blurry... meaning her eyesight is getting worse and all these glasses she owns may not work for long. A scary thought, especially when you factor in her backstory with her brother. 

This feels like a set up for soft moment, something I wanted to see more of... only for it to be rudely interrupted by Amos being murdered. 

Like.... C’moooooon maaaaan...

UGH

There’s no warm fuzzy feelings here, and the only time I went, “they could be cute if it could get me invested” was the ending where Ricca is clinging to Clementine as Olivia boots up the plane and starts flying.... but even then, that moment is cut short because Clementine has to be all, “let’s show Amos the plane one more time.” 

They don’t kiss here, either. There isn’t a first kiss moment, there isn’t a confession scene, there isn’t even an admission of feelings on either side. Ricca calls her “baby” and now I guess they’re something? 

“Clementine, baby, don’t let me die here~”

Ugh. Do you know what I think of when I hear the words “Clementine” and “baby” in the same sentence? I think of the voicemail Clementine’s mother left in ep1 of S1: “Clementine, baby, if you can hear this, call the police... it’s 9-1-1... and we love you... we love you...” 

So excuse me if I don’t have a great response to that. 

Anyway, maybe it’ll improve with the next book which shouldn’t be too hard given all the nothing this book gave. 

The Lee Flashbacks/Nightmares: hey, remember season one? remember Lee? remember when Lee died and Clem was sad? do you remember??

Uuuuggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......

To their credit, these flashbacks are pretty loyal to the games as far as dialogue and setting, but the main point of them is for fans of the games to read this and be like “ohhh I remember Lee, he sparks joy!” and for new readers to have a face to a name when Clementine talks about him to Ricca. 

But they don’t do much to improve the story. The only time I appreciated how one tied into the story was when Clementine watched Amos fall. We see her and Lee on the train, and we get this dialogue:

“Ask me anything, Clementine.”

“Will the pain ever stop?”

because yeah... watching Amos die was pretty damn painful, ties in well. 

But other than that? Meh... which is crazy to say about LEE but that’s the comic for ya. 

Final Thoughts: I can’t believe I read this 9 times

What’s that thing called when you keep repeating a thing hoping it’ll be different but never is? Madness? Is that what I’m feeling right now? 

9 times, good god....

It wasn’t worth reading that many times and yet, here I am, a mad lass dissecting a comic I don’t like that remains unfaithful to a character I love. I watched and read so many interviews with Tillie, I kept tabs on reddit threads about this book, I pestered my discord buddies about it... can’t wait to do this two more times... 

In the end, this book isn’t good. I like a couple things, but the good doesn’t outweigh the bad. It’s definitely not canon with the games, no matter how hard Skybound whines that it is. 

I can’t recommend it to any of you. If you’re gonna read it, you can find the whole thing for free on youtube. If you wanna support Tillie Walden without supporting this series, check out her other works. I’d recommend On a Sunbeam or Spinning. 

btw did y’all hear they released the description of Book Two?

“Clementine and her new friends are rescued by an island community led by an enigmatic doctor called Miss Morro, but just as Clementine's scars are finally beginning to heal, she discovers dark secrets that threaten to tear her new life apart. Can Miss Morro be trusted? What about the rest of the islanders? And just how far will Clementine go to protect the ones she loves? Tilllie Walden's acclaimed trilogy continues! ”

I dunno how I’m gonna survive Book Two if I don’t even have Amos to look forward to..... guess Tillie’s just gonna have to make me like Ricca, huh? 

I also need to keep in mind that this IS a trilogy, so questions I have now and am annoyed about may get answered in the next book, Olivia might go from being stale white bread to a wonderful slick of cinnamon and raisin bread, and the romance may start existing... won’t know until June. 

No wait, excuse me, October... they’ve already pushed the release date later for the next one soooo that’s interesting. 

This is the part where I ask what you thought. What are your thoughts on Clementine Book One? I’m curious to know. Send an ask or leave a comment on this review. I know this was long but hey, thanks for sticking around to the end, it’s appreciated. 

Thanks for reading!  💚