#also this is very much like first (or like third out of my usual 50) draft and not really edited much but im lazy right now

[jasonsbruce]

Jason had started to notice that Bruce's gaze lingered sometimes—just a second too long. At first, he brushed it off as coincidence, that it held no deeper meaning. It wasn’t abnormal to sometimes stare while your mind was drifting off. But the glances kept happening. It had been quite late at night in the Batcave, and they were the last ones there, running through some data side by side, keeping it surprisingly civil. As they talked, Jason noticed Bruce’s eyes drift—not to the screen, but to him. Bruce’s gaze slid from Jason’s eyes, over the line of his jaw, to the curve of his lips, then back to the monitor. And once Jason noticed, it was impossible to ignore. It wasn’t just the glances; whenever Jason stood a little too close, Bruce would tense. It was barely noticeable, but easy to catch with a perceptive eye. Intrigued, Jason began testing the boundaries, seeing how far he could push before Bruce would finally tell him to stop. It started innocently enough. Just a casual touch here and there, or leaning in a bit closer than necessary. Each time, Bruce would tense, his eyes lingering before something like frustration would cross his normally stoic face. But Bruce would never acknowledge it—he never said a word. Jason was finding it harder to resist pushing even further, wondering just how much Bruce would allow.

・・・・・

Bruce sat by the edge of the couch, arm leaning against the armrest, newspaper in hand. The lamps were off and the only source of light came from the warmth of the fireplace. Its flames casted shadows across the room, occasionally making a comforting cracking sound.

Jason stood at the doorway, watching the way Bruce's eyes would scan over the articles, pretending to read, like he wasn’t drowning in his own thoughts as usual.

Without announcing himself, Jason sauntered into the room, making his way toward the couch. He could feel the warmth from the fireplace brush against his skin as he passed it, his long shadow making Bruce glance up from the paper.

He didn’t say a word as he flopped down onto the sofa, sprawling out lazily. He stretched his legs out, brushing against Bruce’s thigh as he shifted to get comfortable. Jason felt Bruce stiffen, informing him that he had the older man’s attention. He carelessly reached for a book on the coffee table, his arm extending as his shirt pulled up with the motion, exposing a sliver of his midriff.

Jason retracted back into the couch, book in hand, leaning comfortably against the cushions. His shirt was still ridden up, and when his eyes flicked sideways, he noticed how Bruce’s gaze was locked on his exposed skin. Jason didn’t move to adjust it, he simply flipped open the book as if he hadn’t noticed and it was all an accident.

Bruce shifted, just slightly, the paper crinkling in his hands. Jason sprawled out further, one arm resting sluggishly against the back of the couch, his legs extending along the length of the couch. His calf brushed against Bruce’s knee this time. Bruce lifted the newspaper, blocking Jason from view, but it didn’t stop Jason from feeling the way his body stiffened again.

He wasn’t interested in the book at all, his eyes just glossing over the words. With a casual sigh, he let his head roll back against the armrest, his shirt riding up even higher. The fabric of his t-shirt barely covered his stomach now, exposing the sharp lines of his lower abdomen to the warm light of the fire.

The sound of Jason’s exaggerated sigh seemed to catch Bruce’s attention, the newspaper lowering just a fraction. Jason angled his head slightly, peering under the book in his hand, and his eyes locked with Bruce’s. Neither of them said a word. Jason watched as the shadows danced across Bruce’s face and his furrowed brow.

He saw Bruce’s eyes briefly flick down toward his exposed skin again, the muscles in his jaw slightly tightening, barely visible. Jason let his attention drift back to the book, but the sentences were nothing but an uninteresting blur in the background.

He glanced over to Bruce again, catching him staring.

Bruce snapped the newspaper shut with a sharp crackle, then stood abruptly. His movements seemed stiff, off. “I… need to check something in the cave,” he muttered, his excuse half-hearted and weak, like even he wasn’t convinced by it.

He didn’t look at Jason as he turned on his heel, leaving the room with quick steps. Jason let out an amused breath, his lips curving into a full smirk as he watched Bruce leave. He could still feel the tension lingering in the room.

・・・・・

Jason stood in the training room, muscles tense and ready, waiting for Bruce.

Bruce entered, focused as ever. He offered no small talk, not even a greeting. He went straight to business.

“Ready?” he asked.

Jason smirked, giving him a lazy nod. “Always.”

They soon fell into the familiar rhythm of their sparring. They had done this countless times before. But after a while, Jason’s tactic shifted. He began moving closer than he needed, dragging his body just a bit too intimately against Bruce’s with every dodge and strike.

Each time their bodies connected, Jason made sure Bruce felt every inch of skin, every press of muscle. It was subtle at first, like there was a reasonable explanation behind it.

Jason threw a punch, aiming for Bruce’s side. But he quickly caught his arm with fingers tightening around Jason’s wrist. The impact made them step closer, their chests nearly touching. Jason glanced upward, looking at Bruce through his dark lashes, his breath brushing against Bruce’s jaw.

Bruce froze. His gaze dropped, landing on Jason’s lips for just the briefest of moments, and the air between them felt electric. But then suddenly, Bruce let go, stepping back. The movements were a little too sharp, like he was trying to create distance both physically and from his own thoughts. But the tension still lingered, thick like smoke.

Jason wasn’t going to give him that space, though.

Bruce looked almost rattled, clearly still unfocused. So, without warning, Jason surged forward. Bruce blocked his attack, but Jason didn’t stop. He pressed harder, his strikes swift, strong, determined. He ducked under Bruce’s counterattack, slipping past him, and then sweeping his legs out from under him.

Bruce’s back hit the mat with a solid thud, but Jason wasn’t going to give him a chance to recover. In an instant, he straddled Bruce, knees planted firmly on either side of his hips, pinning him down to the ground.

Jason leaned in, his face inches from Bruce’s, their heavy breaths mingling. “Seems like I got you this time,” he murmured with a teasing smirk playing at the edges of his lips.

Bruce said nothing, just stared up at him, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

Jason shifted slightly in his lap, and he could feel Bruce stiffen underneath his weight. There was something darker flickering across his eyes, something Jason wanted to investigate further. He shifted again, pressing down more firmly, his body aligning perfectly against Bruce’s.

He could see Bruce grinding his teeth together. And then his hands moved, gripping Jason’s thighs, fingers digging into him. In one swift motion, he shoved Jason off, rolling them over until he was standing.

“Stop playing around,” he muttered, sounding rougher than usual.

Jason chuckled at that as he sprawled out on the mat, unbothered. “Is that what we’re doing?”

Bruce didn’t reply, but Jason got up to his feet again and they began sparring. Punches were thrown and blocked in quick succession, but Jason wasn’t playing fair. He continued to push closer whenever he had a chance and each time, without fail, Bruce would be thrown off by it. It was almost unnoticeable, but Jason knew him well enough.

As they moved, the fight grew more intense and suddenly Jason found himself being spun around, slammed chest-first into the wall. Bruce’s body pressed against him from behind, one hand firmly between his shoulder blades, and the other wrapped around Jason’s wrist, holding it above his head.

Bruce had him pinned and Jason didn’t resist. He glanced over his shoulder, the smirk back on his lips. Bruce’s grip was firm, his body flush against Jason’s, trapping him completely.

Jason leaned back into the warm, steady body behind him. “Getting a little rough, aren’t we?” he teased.

For a brief second, Bruce’s grip on Jason’s wrist tightened as he seemed to tense. His breath hitched, almost imperceptibly, but Jason had noticed it, felt it. But just as fast, Bruce’s hands released him.

He stepped back, his face was unreadable and his movements seemed a bit stiff.

“We’re done,” he muttered, turning his back and walking toward the exit.

Jason’s smirk lingered as he watched Bruce leave and pretend like everything was still normal.

・・・・・

Jason pulled off his gloves and threw them onto the bench with a heavy sigh. It had been a long night, one that had left everyone involved worn out. His body was still buzzing with the aftermath of the adrenaline. Bruce was a few feet away, unbuckling his utility belt in silence, face as expressionless as ever.

Jason peeled off the top of his suit, letting the armored material fall to the floor. He removed the shirt afterwards, tossing it next to the gloves. His muscles were slightly aching after tiresome fighting, the sweat on his upper body glistening slightly in the harsh light of the cave.

Jason bent down to remove his boots. The subtle scent of sweat and leather filled the air, mixing with the slight metallic tang of blood from earlier wounds, and Bruce’s expensive cologne.

Jason glanced over, catching Bruce’s gaze lingering on him for just a moment too long before he quickly averted his eyes, focusing on removing the rest of his gear. There was a tension in Bruce’s shoulders, and he was doing that thing again where he pretended everything was normal, and Jason’s behavior was nothing out of the ordinary.

“You still owe for that back there, you know,” he said playfully, mostly to fill the silence.

Bruce grunted in response, a noncommittal sound that did nothing to contribute to the conversation. He seemed focused on his own suit, but his movements had slowed down.

Jason saw his opening. He moved closer, his fingers reaching for the clasps of Bruce’s suit before he began working them free.

Bruce froze, his head snapping up to look at Jason, eyes narrowing. “What are you doing?”

Jason didn’t flinch, didn’t stop. His lips twitched into a smirk as he worked the last clasp free. “What does it look like? I’m helping you out.”

He gripped Bruce’s gauntlets and tugged them off, letting them fall to the floor with a low thud. Jason reached for Bruce’s cape next. His arms slid around Bruce’s neck, fingers easily working the fastener that held it in place. Jason leaned in close, his bare chest brushing against Bruce’s hand and lower arm.

The shift in his posture was obvious; his body was taut and he turned his head away from Jason. But he was still rooted to the ground, eyes fixed on the wall as if he was determined not to acknowledge how close Jason was, how their skin was touching.

The cape came off, pooling below Bruce’s feet.

“I’ve got it from here,” he muttered and turned abruptly to leave, like he always did.

Jason had grown quite fond of the game they were playing.

・・・・・

The Batfamily had gathered around the long table in the cave, discussing the night’s mission in detail. Jason had agreed to assist them, now sitting at the far end by the table. Tim and Dick were currently talking over each other, and Jason wasn’t really listening to them.

Bruce was standing next to him, at the head of the table, telling them to quiet down and barking orders as usual.

Jason leaned further back into the chair as his legs stretched out under the table. His elbow rested on the table, with his thumb supporting his chin and the middle and index fingers pressed gently against his lips and nose, seemingly uninterested in the meeting.

His attention lay elsewhere.

Slowly, carefully, he let his leg brush against Bruce. The touch left no room to question whether or not it had been an accident. He let it linger. And Bruce stilled for the slightest second, a flicker of awareness passing over his handsome features before he quickly regained his composure.

But Jason wasn’t done.

Bruce was in the middle of giving instructions to Tim when Jason shifted again, this time allowing his knee to press against Bruce’s leg.

Bruce’s voice faltered for just a moment, the flow of his words slightly halting. But he refused to acknowledge it, kept his eyes ahead. He quickly cleared his throat, trying to continue. “Tim, I need you to—”

Jason shifted his knee again, rubbing it deliberately against Bruce’s upper leg. He felt him tense immediately, stumbling on the words. “To—uh… to monitor the surveillance—footage…”

Jason smirked, partially hidden behind his hand. “You okay there, Bruce?”

He received no answer to that, instead, Bruce pressed on with whatever he was talking about. “…and cross-check it with the logs Oracle has provided.”

The others nodded along, caught up in the debriefing. Bruce sat down on the chair behind him, probably thinking it would help him regain control of the situation. That was a big mistake. Because his reaction only fuelled Jason’s confidence, only spurred him on to push further, and explore where the boundaries lay. To see when Bruce would finally acknowledge him, to stop pretending nothing was going on.

Jason shifted a little, letting his fingers lightly brush against Bruce’s thigh. He felt Bruce tense immediately at the touch and heard the slight hitch in his breath. But still, he did nothing, didn’t even look at Jason. He kept his concentration on the others, jaw tight, eyes narrowing just a fraction.

His fingers continued to trace a subtle, slow line along Bruce’s thigh. Barbara was talking in the background, agreeing with whatever Dick had been saying, and Bruce nodded along, clearly trying his best to stay focused.

He let his hand slowly slide higher, and that’s when he felt it—the unmistakable hardness under the fabric of Bruce’s pants. Jason sucked in a breath by the surprise. He couldn’t deny the thrill, the way his heart picked up its pace. And Bruce could pretend all he wanted, but the proof was right there. He found this just as thrilling as Jason did.

Jason’s hand inched just a bit closer, fingers brushing over the bulge. Bruce’s entire body stiffened, the tension in his shoulders so taut it could snap at any given moment.

And then suddenly, Bruce’s hand shot under the table, grabbing Jason’s wrist, gripping it tight enough to hurt. Jason glanced up at him, watching the way Bruce tried so hard to keep his composure and focus on Tim’s yapping in the background. Bruce didn’t meet his eyes, his jaw clenched as his fingers tightened around Jason’s wrist, preventing him from moving any further.

Bruce didn’t say anything, instead, he just squeezed his wrist harder as a silent warning. Jason’s eyes gleamed with amusement as he leaned back slightly, letting his hand fall away. Bruce still refused to look at him.

The rest of the group continued to plan the mission, but Jason’s thoughts were far away, wondering how long Bruce could go on without acknowledging whatever this thing was between them. 

・・・・・

The mission hadn’t gone according to plan at all, in fact, it had gone sideways fairly quickly. It left the Batfamily stranded in one of their backup safehouses. The place was cramped with barely functional amenities. They had crashed in whatever space they could find.

Jason had ended up sharing a small bed with Dick, but every time he started to drift off, Dick would roll over, nudging Jason further and further toward the edge of the bed. He was tired and sore, and after a while, his patience wore thin.

With a frustrated sigh, he got up and left the room to find somewhere else to sleep. But every corner he checked was already taken, filled with the sound of quiet breathing or snoring. The wood boards under his feet creaked wearily as he made his way down the dark hallway. He stopped outside of Bruce’s door. Of course he had his own room.

“Screw it,” he muttered under his breath, pushing the door open.

Moonlight slanted through the moth-eaten blinds, casting a faint glow across the room. Bruce was lying on his back with his eyes closed, breathing evenly. Jason padded over to the bed and without overthinking it, he carefully lay down on the other side. The bed shifted slightly under his weight, and Bruce’s breathing changed just enough to show he was awake too.

They lay in silence, staring up at the dark ceiling. Even after a long mission, Bruce still managed to smell good.

Jason was too exhausted to pick up his usual teasing, even if now would have been the perfect moment. And somehow, the air felt different. Maybe it was the rawness of his body after the mission, or the quiet of this isolated safehouse—it felt like they were somewhere completely else, almost like in a dream.

After a long stretch of silence, Jason turned his head, just slightly, to check if Bruce had fallen asleep. But Bruce was already looking at him, the faint glimmer of moonlight catching in his blue eyes. His expression was unreadable, and the atmosphere between them felt thick in a way it never had before.

For the first time since this whole thing began, Jason didn’t dare to push it any further. Bruce didn’t look away, he held Jason’s gaze. The way Bruce looked at him made his heartbeat quicken and suddenly, he didn’t feel as bold anymore. His confidence wavered under Bruce’s steady, dark eyes. There was something so calm about it, yet intense enough to make him feel bare, exposed.

For a few long, quiet moments, neither of them moved, their breaths almost in sync at this point.

But then suddenly, in one slow, careful movement, Bruce leaned in. His body shifted slightly closer, closing the small gap between them. Jason’s breath caught, his pulse drumming in his ears, and he found himself frozen in place. He’d been teasing, pushing—even fantasizing about this—but he’d never truly expected Bruce to actually do something about it. Now, with him leaning closer, his presence invading Jason’s senses—it felt surreal.

The faint warmth of Bruce’s exhale ghosted over his skin, making his skin tingle, his pulse racing. Then Bruce’s lips brushed against his, softly at first—almost like testing the waters. Yet it was enough to send a sudden jolt of electricity through Jason’s nerves. It was only when Bruce leaned in a fraction closer, lips pressing more firmly against his, that Jason felt his mind start to unravel, his nerves catching fire.

But soon Bruce deepened the kiss with a quiet confidence, like this was nothing but another skill he’d mastered. It was like Bruce knew exactly how to kiss him, drawing sensations out of Jason he hadn’t even known he could feel, making his mind go entirely blank. He’d kissed before, sure, but nothing had ever left him this breathless, this affected.

He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, kissing lazily as if nothing else existed outside of this room, but eventually, they drew apart. Neither of them said a word. Bruce lay back down, eyes fixed on the ceiling. Jason mirrored the movement, feeling slightly dazed and more relaxed than before, finally able to drift into sleep.

When he woke, though, Bruce was already gone. Jason wasn’t surprised. He got up and stepped into the hallway, hearing soft voices drifting from the kitchen. As he made his way toward them, he saw some of the members awake, talking over coffee. Bruce was standing by the window, already dressed, hands in his pockets, his expression as unreadable as ever.

Bruce looked up when Jason entered, their eyes meeting for a split second. There was no hint of acknowledgement from last night in his gaze. He simply greeted him with nothing more than a curt nod.

Jason felt a flicker of something unwanted—disappointment, frustration—but he buried it deep, slipping into a mask of indifference. He joined the others, leaning against the counter, forcing himself not to glance in Bruce’s direction.

Jason found himself wondering how, in a game he’d thought he controlled, Bruce had so quietly taken over, leaving him feeling unsure and strangely exposed.

・・・・・

i've been occasionally writing this when i wanted to write more FUN and not so serious scenes! fyi i'll probably take a break from writing since dragon age veilguard is released tomorrow! but let me know if you'd like me to continue this, and i might need to pause dragon age lmao. (literally all it takes is for one person to say pls do this 🥺 and i'll drop everything for you cause i love validation and people telling me what to do (jk) (or am i?))

[qqueenofhades]

Leaving aside possible reversals, disasters, doom & gloom, can we take a moment to savor the Trump meltdown over Harris/Walz and the momentum that makes a possible blue tsunami seem an entirely plausible outcome? I'd love to give you the space to ramble about it if you'd like, as my current fandom at least for the moment has shifted back to US politics (but not, for the first time in a while, to doom scrolling politics!).

Aha, I feel as I have probably already said most of my current thoughts, but here are a few things that really make me desire a heaping helping of butt-whooping blue wave in November:

The state that has had the most volunteer sign-ups since Harris took over the ticket? Fucking Florida, with over 18,000. The Villages, formerly a hotbed of Trump support (and y'know, probably still is), also had a major pro-Kamala event, and she is allegedly up 15 points in Miami-Dade (after Biden won the county by 7% and lost the state only by 3%). Now, we all know that Obama won Florida twice, but it has become such a symbol of retrograde Trumpian/DeSantisian politics that winning there would be literally seismic. I'm not going so far as saying that it's in PLAY play, but let's just hold onto that happy, happy idea.

Likewise the poll I mentioned the other day, where Trump is struggling to break 50% in Ohio, once a swing state and now also reliably red. The fact that this is Vance's home state and he's dragging the ticket down every single time he opens his mouth, thus offering the smallest sliver of hope that Ohio (which DID legalize abortion and weed by major margins last year) could also go blue? Incredible. Amazing. Showstopping.

Harris is also tied with Trump (46%-46%) in North Carolina and there is a lot of chatter about how the terrible GOP governor candidate could give a boost to Democratic turnout statewide.

The Mormons have apparently announced their intention to abandon (or at least support much less than they usually do) the Republican presidential ticket in 2024. Remember when Obama won Indiana in 2008? In my wildest dreams, I imagine Utah going blue in 2024. It won't but shh.

Basically, where we were braced for another agonizing nail-biting grind-it-out three-day election determined by a few thousand votes in key states (because etc etc the Electoral College sucks) we are now looking at the very real possibility that Harris wins at least one state, and possibly more, that Biden didn't, and which have been seen as out of reach for Democrats since Trump came on the scene. I don't think I need to counsel anyone against complacency, because we're all too damn scared for that, but yeah. Polls, even the good-looking ones that we like, don't vote. They are still skewed and subjective and do not represent the actual reality, whatever that may end up being. The Republicans and the media will be trying their absolute goddamnfuckingest to ratfuck us again in the 80-something days that remain, but:

WE CAN DO THIS, WE WILL DO THIS, WE MUST DO THIS.

WHAT IS THIS.... JOY SCROLLING? FOR AMERICAN POLITICS? IN THE YEAR 2024 WITH DONALD TRUMP ON THE TICKET FOR THE FUCKING THIRD TIME?

UNPOSSIBLE.

[parkminijiminie]

AYS - Jeju trip /my recap/

Now that all of the Jeju episodes have aired, I've come back to quickly share my opinion. Disclaimer: This is just my opinion and speculation, you are more than free to disagree with me.

Overall, I managed to enjoy the episodes despite my initial hesitation. I was 50-50 about the first episode and I liked the other two. It wasn't a full love because while watching, I couldn't relax completely knowing how certain things would be twisted later on, but overall I enjoyed Jeju much more than I anticipated.

Let's start with the obvious difference between Jeju and NY, namely "the guest". TH's presence didn't add anything of value for me, apart from some cute Vmin moments and very few but still cute Vminkook ones. His being there didn't show me any new insight into their relationships, and there was no major change in either Vmin or Taekook. Even though Tae and JK spent a lot of time together in the first half of 2023, I didn't see any change in their dynamics or any new emotional depth to it. As many people have already said, JK and Tae together are two kids bouncing off each other's energies. They really bring out the immaturity in each other, and even if I tried, I could not get any romantic vibes from their interactions. Jk made it abundantly clear that TH being there was something he didn't choose and even seemed mildly annoyed by it the first day.

When it comes to JM and JK, this trip also didn't show anything new for me, but rather things I've always associated them with - their own private jokes, their being in sync with each other at all times, just existing in their own little world. They really do click. I loved their scenes at the pool, both days, I loved that JK is JM's personal chef, I loved that JM always pays attention to what JK is doing, even when driving, I loved their little joint routine at all times of the day. This really was JM and JK's trip through and through, and even a third party being there didn't really change anything. The only time we didn't have the signature JK and JM interactions was when JM was feeling unwell, after that they were back to their usual antics.

Jeju to me showed them being as close as ever. None of the tension and awkwardness from NY was present, which means that whatever issues they previously had, it was all resolved between the two trips.

As for them individually, I would say I am more and more and more amazed with Jimin with every new footage of this man I see. Firstly, he is just so naturally uniquely gorgeous. I kept staring at his bare face and wondering how one person could be so pretty even when sleeping, driving, and feeling sick. It's just like magic to me. More than that, he is just a class act through and through. He is polite, fun, considerate, energetic, just the whole package.

When it comes to JK, I would say he is a special person and probably a lot to handle in real life. He can be really sweet and his love language is definitely acts of service, but he also has an immature side to him. Maybe that comes from being the youngest and I think it was especially amplified because he was with the youngest members who always let him off easily. I think he is very kind-hearted, definitely not mean-spirited like some people make him out to be, but he is also a little bit impulsive at times. Personally, for me, he would probably be a little too much to handle in real life, but I can see that JM for sure knows how to handle him really well. As for JK's feelings towards Jimin, I think this boy lives and breathes for Jimin's attention. When JM is near, he is downright obsessed with having his eyes on him. He truly is like a big energetic, sometimes unruly puppy, wanting to be played with, praised, and loved upon. I can't really blame him, though. I, too, would turn into a clown or a personal chef, if it meant having Park Jimin's love and attention directed at me. In my opinion, nobody could truly deserve Jimin, but it is clear that Jimin truly adores Jungkook.

Jeju definitely showed that Jm and Jk have a very special type of relationship. The vibes between them were as weird as ever and it left me with more questions about the nature of their relationship than answers, but then again, this is also nothing new. 2023 Jikook remains confusing to me, but I am okay with that.

In conclusion, I liked the Jeju trip and I am not afraid to admit I love the solo parts between Jm and Jk the most. After all, this is what I paid for and wanted to see from the beginning and I am glad there were still plenty of JM and JK solo interactions. While these three episodes were better than what I expected them to be, I am the most excited about the upcoming Japan ones. I must admit I dreaded the Jeju episodes a little bit, which is why I actually didn't watch the first two right away, but I am fully, and 100% excited about Japan.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for calling the cops (twice, kind of) on someone in a car who swerved at me on the side of the road?

(Disclaimer: I hate cops. But I felt extremely threatened and wasn't going to let this go without something happening.)

I am a high school student and have not yet gotten my license, and therefore cannot drive alone. To get to school I ride an electric scooter, it looks a bit stupid as a high schooler but it is the only way possible for me to get to school on time. (I have a class before school in the morning, and both parents have work.) I've been doing this for over three years and have had no problems until recently.

Two or three weeks ago, I was on my way home from school. I noticed a car approaching from behind, and moved to the very edge of the road as I would normally. I was literally in the gutter on the side of the road, nowhere near where cars would be. This car, however, then sped up rapidly and swerved within 2-3 feet of hitting me. Probably not trying to actually hit me, but clearly trying to scare me or something of the sort. The person in the passenger seat was screaming the whole time.

The car sped off (I should mention that the speed limit on this road is 25 mph, and the car was going at least 50-60 mph) and after standing in shock for a moment I followed them home since they apparently lived in my neighborhood. I caught two teenage boys leaving the car, and asked if they had been in that car and had swerved at me on the road. They denied everything and went inside the house.

I went home and after a short while, came back with my father to back me up. Asshole move from me, I know, but he insisted on going in case the boys decided to get violent. I made him wait a short distance back, then rang the doorbell. Waited for a while, no answer. They were clearly still inside; the car was still parked on the road nearby and I hadn't been gone for long.

When they didn't answer, I then went home and called the police. I gave them the license plate number and the guy's address, and they said there had been reports of him speeding and being reckless before. The cops went to the house and yelled at them, and I thought it was over then. I most certainly did not want to press the issue any further, the shock and adrenaline was wearing off at this point and I just wanted to be done.

But several days later, I was sent screenshots of the driver of that car spreading hate about me on Snapchat for getting him in trouble. Now this is kind of difficult to explain, but I am unfortunately somewhat well known for riding an electric scooter to school. But up until this point, people just were aware of my existence. After the Snapchat posts and messages about me were spread, all of that turned into pure hate. Every time I was seen with that stupid scooter, people would scream that they wished I would fall and stuff like that. None of this had happened before, and I was (and am) miserable and scared. I don't feel safe anywhere around school because this is still ongoing.

I also tried to contact him via Instagram messages, to which he did not respond. That was three times that I attempted to contact him: first by following him as he was getting out of the car, second by ringing the doorbell, and third by messaging him.

Two days ago, I got my mom to pull me out of school early because I was feeling like crap after some particularly bad harassment in the morning. In the office as I was asking to sign out, I started crying in front of the school police officer, and she asked for the full story. I told her about the online posts and the catcalling and harassment I dealt with every day, and she took it very seriously. I didn't want her to do anything really, but she did anyway (I'm not upset about this honestly, it was probably a good thing). She said that the patrol officers usually didn't do much about stuff like this, but she could and would do a lot more.

She pulled the guy out of his class after I had left to go home, and in her words "put the fear of God in that kid"; telling him he should have lost his license and that since he was 18 he could face real consequences and go to jail for stuff like this. He has been told that he has to stay at least three feet away from me at all times.

Since then, he hasn't said anything to me in person, and hasn't posted anything publicly online. I still don't feel safe at school or anywhere in the area, but I've been taking an alternate route to try to avoid being seen and yelled at as much.

Am I the asshole? I honestly think we both might be, but I do feel somewhat justified by the fact that he at least got some sort of consequence for threatening my life like that and causing that level of problem.

What are these acronyms?

[plague-karm]

Sonic 3 Spoiler Post Wheyyyyy

I’m gonna talk about literally everything so if you still haven’t seen the movie then scroll away, I will be adding images a week after this post goes up as well so yeah. This is NOT going to be well thought out at all it’s just going to be a ramble fest because why not shejsjjejejs

The fact that they made Live And Learn a song Maria wrote gives it SO much more meaning and a reason for the song to be included in the movie (besides fanservice lmao), a story line centred around the process of grief culminating with a grandiose reprise of a song made by the person one of the characters is grieving? CINEMA

The third act was incredible of course but god I wish they stopped going back and forth with the Robotnik stuff, the switch ups between the immaculate fight choreography and the slapstick bullshit really began to run its course and I was just waiting for peak to start again

Speaking of those fight scenes OH MY GOD THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY IS SOME OF THE BEST THIS SERIES HAS EVER HAD IT WAS ON SOME DRAGON BALL TYPE SHIT. When Super Sonic and Super Shadow were beating the everloving fuck out of each other in different countries I was stimming like crazy

Knuckles is the unsung MVP of this movie and I’m so happy they got to show his character development in a really natural way, he’s really become a big brother figure for the other two and the way he tried to talk Sonic down after Tom almost died really got to me he’s come so far 🥹

When the trailer fakeout shot came up I was LOSING IT 😭

Also I want to know what the cinematographer was smoking because some of the shots in this thing are BEAUTIFUL, especially the ones in space (when Sonic and Shadow enter their super forms and go around like blazing comets I was going crazy)

The colour grading is a huge step up from the last two movies as well, you can tell the budget went up because the models here are stunning (especially Shadow’s)

I wish Live And Learn got to play a little longer but I’m just happy they included it either way (when the vocals came in so did I)

Agent Stone continues to be one of my favourite human characters in the entire series, I honestly wouldn’t mind them adding him to the games because his dynamic with Eggman is way better than whatever Orbot and Cubot have going on

They definitely listened to the critiques for the second movie as well because the human stuff has been very toned down and I honestly think it’s for the better (and this is coming from someone who actually really likes Rachel idk man she’s just fun)

I’m pretty satisfied with how they handled Gerald outside of the usual Jim Carrey shenanigans, portraying him as a madman so consumed by grief that he’s completely willing to let Earth and himself die out of pure spite was crazy, I saw someone say that this is how he’d act if he didn’t get executed 50 years ago and I can see that pretty clearly. I loved the glimpses of humanity we get of him as well (the way he referred to both Maria AND Shadow as “kids” in the flashback made me feel like he genuinely did care for him at that point and the death of Maria just threw him off the deep end)

The scene of Shadow and Gerald finding Maria’s body was DEVASTATING, the way Shadow didn’t know if she was dead at first and all it took was to see how heartbroken Gerald was to figure it out killed me 😔

Speaking of which they actually did a rewrite for Shadow’s backstory while keeping a lot of the same elements and I’m pretty happy with it for the most part, him coming to earth in a comet is black arms foreshadowing 100% and the flashbacks of him and Maria just hanging out and having fun like normal kids was really nice (the inclusion of the biolizard being the monster in the movie they were watching was really cool too I didn’t even notice that at first until someone pointed it out)

Despite these changes he was handled SO well, Keanu did a great job voicing him and to hear that he actually wanted to play the character made me so happy, it’s almost like getting people who give a shit about the source material is a really important factor of making adaptations succeed idk

The reason why Maria’s around though is kind of weak? She isn’t ill in this version and the only reason she’s in the lab is because Gerald takes her everywhere? That’s it? Why couldn’t they have said that he adopted her or something? (Or maybe her parents had an incurable illness that Gerald tried and failed to help with so he took her in after the fact idk)

Ben Schwartz popped OFF in the third act god I love it watching whimsical characters completely losing their shit after they’ve been pushed too far

The fact that the iconic “announcement” was changed to a tragic yaoi send off is beautiful, I hope Agent Stone comes back in future movies his dynamic with Tails was really cute

Pansexual Eggman is now canon we are so back

Loved the brief snippet of E.G.G.M.A.N, it played for five seconds but I was stimming anyway

The soundtrack is also a huge step up from the first two movies as well (also Throw It All Away is one of the song titles holy shit)

The post credits scene was PEAK I love Metal Sonic and Amy’s designs so much, Im really interested to see if it’ll be a loose adaptation of Sonic CD or it’ll be its own thing (maybe Amy and Metal are originally from the games’ bad timeline and that’s how Silver shows up later? I’m not sure, I just want Silver fans to get SOMETHING they’ve been fucking starving bro I feel bad for them 😭)

[ethicaltreatmentofcowplants]

I'll start with the caveat that the newer expansion packs have recently gone up $20 in my neck of the woods (and they've cheekily put the prices of Horse Ranch and For Rent up as well as Lovestruck). So that is causing me to judge the newer expansion packs very harshly in comparison to when they were $50 full price.

That said:

(this is probably going to get long)

Enough

Seasons, even thought it doesn't come with a world. It adds so so much to gameplay and is my first expansion pack to rec to anyone, unless they're mostly or purely focused on builds.

Focusing more on packs that have worlds: Get Together and City Living. I would actually pay what is now the full pack price of $70 for them as well as Seasons. Less so City Living, but only marginally. Both worlds feel full and have vibrant, memorable townies, and like actual places that I could take a loading screen to. Even if my gameplay isn't based in San Myshuno - or in a city at all - my sims usually go to at least one festival or participate in karaoke night. And now that I've learned how to use it properly, the "clubs" function in Get Together is such a great quality-of-life gameplay mechanic.

Henford-on-Bagley is a really good example of a less urban world that still feels inhabited, but more on that below. Mt. Komorebi, while Snowy Escape isn't a favourite pack or an essential, likewise feels just populated enough and like there's enough to do/variety to justify its price. It serves exactly what its premise set out to be. I also appreciate the representation of Japanese culture - and was really hoping For Rent would be much the same.

Growing Together... could have possibly done with a couple more lots and families, especially considering the focus on generational gameplay. Where are the senior citizens who have major Bingo beef with each other? But the gameplay does add a decent amount, and the CAS and Build items are nice enough to give base game a refresh if that's the only expansion pack you have. And I couldn't really group it below, considering the packs that I did.

Needed More

I agree with @changingplumbob in that some of the newer worlds simply don't feel large and/or inhabited enough. Horse Ranch would have actually been a good size to me if only it had a couple more residential lots and a few more townies that came with it, just to make it feel more populated. Though I get that it's vast and not as densely populated as San My and Windenburg, given that they're city worlds and horsies need a lot of space to roam.

(Henford-on-Bagley in my mind is a great example of a rural pack that still feels populated, 'just busy enough' and with a sense of community. Chestnut Ridge is almost there though! It just needed some more fleshed out events and to have more townies who aren't overtly Island Living folks wandering around.)

Tomarang though? What a waste of potential. Only two neighbourhoods inhabited and the world - while gorgeous - feels so empty when my Sims are wandering around it. It's the only SEA world we have and it's a real shame that there's not a third proper neighbourhood and that some of its ideas are actually really interesting (like the tiger sanctuary) but rather flimsily executed.

(This is in comparison to Jungle Adventure - a gameplay pack where you can actually explore the hidden temples...)

In terms of earlier city worlds, while I appreciate that it came with a decent amount of townies (and a lot of gameplay options if you're into its concept), Del Sol Valley could have definitely done with more lots. Since it's based on LA and the pack came out after City Living, an apartment block or two for all the struggling actor types would have been a nice touch. If you're someone who enjoys playing with the pack mechanics though, I will say there's a good amount of gameplay there. I think in that respect it's definitely worth the price more than the three most recent expansion packs - it's just not quite my thing.

Get To Work and Magnolia Promenade I'd probably group with Get Famous and Del Sol Valley. It gives a reasonable quantity of gameplay if you use it, but it really needed more than four lots. If it's the retail world, at least give us a mall or something. That could have been such a fun concept to play with. Also some rival business empires?

(I didn't talk about Lovestruck because I don't have the pack. But from what gameplay I've seen - and what I've heard from people who usually have pretty balanced takes on packs - I'd probably group it with For Rent.)

[alpaca-clouds]

Why the Pacing in Castlevania feels slow - but actually isn't

Okay, based on my long, long write up from yesterday, where I went into the theory of pacing narrative media, I want to talk quickly about one thing. Because I love Castlevania, and I think - outside of season 4 - the pacing in this show is pretty spot on. Mind you, the pacing in Nocturne is a bit better than in the original show, however, the reason that a lot of people feel that Nocturne is much faster paced than the original four seasons.

But the reason why people have this feeling is... actually kinda funny.

It is the editing. I say it right now: Castlevania is edited in a way that is untypical of how visual media is edited. And to this day, I am not fully certain who made the call. Was it Warren Ellis or was it one of the directors? I am not sure. I am assuming it was Ellis, given that the directors are the same in Nocturne - and the editing is very different in Nocturne - but that is just me assuming things.

So, what do I mean by this?

It is fairly easy: Usually TV shows have episodes with an A plot and a B plot. At times there is a C-plot too. And those two plots are interspliced. Meaning, you usually get a scene in A, then a scene in B, back to A, back to B, then maybe a bit of C, then back to A, then B, C again, A, B... You get the idea. This is usually something that is still around because it was needed in more episodic storytelling, but even in serial storytelling these days the idea remains. And as such, the creators try to engage the audience a bit more, by switching between the different plotlines. There is more change, hence the pacing subjectively feels faster.

Castlevania does not do this. Castlevania goes about the different plotlines more in the way a book is going to do. Basically, a large chunk of plotline A will play out, and then a large chunk of plotline B. If there is a third bit for the episode, then also a large chunk of this.

So, in each episode of Castlevania, it usually goes like this: We first spend about 8-10 minutes with one or two characters. And then 8-10 minutes with one or two other characters. And eventually at some point maybe 4-6 minuets with someone else.

The one episode that does this differently is season 3 episode 9. Yes, the rape episode. Where the intersplicing of the scenes clearly tries to communicate something - which is a lot more clearer here, of course, because the show normally does not do this.

When we go into actual analysis however, Castlevania covers about as many plot beats as most other streaming series do, per episode. It just feels slower, as it feels as if the scenes last longer - just because we linger with the characters. Mind you, if you ask me, the pacing is actually still too fast, because of streaming. As I said before: Ye olden days, when shows got 25 episodes per season were better. In a nice world, what we got as Castlevania, would have gotten at least like 50-55 episodes, with some good old fillers in there, that would allow us just to get to know the characters a bit more.

There is just two issues here.

For once... I do not know how else to put this, but: Yeah, people are tiktok brained too much these days. Basically a lot of folks feel bored with an episode lingering with one thing for almost 10 minutes.

And also... look, streaming and the "binging model" has really, really messed with how people consume media and how they expect pacing to go. Because in general pacing these days is too fast. And because of this, the audience is given way less chance to linger with the characters. And that is not a good thing.

And yeah, I will admit, this is topic that starts to annoy me. My two favorite movies from last year (outside of Wicked) were Heretic and Conclave, both of which I watched in December. And reading through the reviews of both movies, I saw so many people complaining about how supposedly slow the pacing in either movie was.

And... Okay, I will openly admit: The first half of Heretic is slow. Like, it about 40 minutes of people just talking around a table, before the "horror" aspect of the movie starts. However, I will argue this works very well, because it builds up properly.

And meanwhile Conclave? Frankly, this was one of the fastest paced movies I saw last year. Just there was no action. But the plot? The plot was in constant movement. Like, there was an important plot development literally every few minutes for the entire two hours. It is just, that of course most of this happens through "people talking".

But guess what: In a lot of media "people talking" will move the plot forward. Not everything needs to be action with fast editing.

To come back to Castlevania: The one season I will argue was not ideally paced is season 4. Because it is fairly clear that Ellis at least hoped to have a few more episodes. I talked before about how neither Sypha, nor Hector properly get to finish out their respective character arcs. Sypha's arc is set up in season 3, and then just gets abandoned in season 4. And Hector's arc mainly plays out off screen. We never get to see him going from: "I am miserable and I was used and abused" to "Okay, I need to do something about this". We get the information that his happened at some point in the 6 week time skip between the ending of season 3 and the beginning of season 4. But we never get shown it. Same with Carmilla's descent into madness and how exactly Striga and Morana got to the point they are in episode 4. Other than that, season 4 is not particularly rushed. Basically it is just that the time skip skips about stuff, that would have been nice to have. But then within season 4? The pacing is fairly okay. Not quite as well as especially season 2 and 3 (mostly because it is fairly uneven), but pretty alright.

But overall? Castlevania is fairly well-paced. Just in terms of how many plot and character beats happening per episode. It is just presented in a way, how you would normally present the story in a book or maybe even a comic - rather than in the way that is way more common for visual media. And because of it, it feels slower.

And in the end I will say one thing: As an autistic person, I actually gotta say, I do prefer the way those four seasons present the story - with the long chunks, rather than interspliced. It gives my autistic brain a lot more time to focus and get into each scenario we get per episode, rather than having to switch back and forth between different scenarios.

Ironically it does remind me a lot of early 2000s Japanese horror media (including anime), that often was edited in a similar way. Though I do have no idea if this was somehow intended or not. But in general the pacing does remind me a lot of Ayakashi, Mononoke and their peers.

[not-a-big-slay]

Until it doesn't hurt

kaz brekker x fem!reader

summary:betrayal leaves some wounds behind, but even more questions when you can't figured out from whom it really came from.

warnings: violence, cursing

type: fluff

part: 12/13

previous part: part 11 masterlist

a/n: please, please, PLEASEEUHH im SO SO SORRY! it has been almost a FUCKING YEAR SINCE THE LAST CHAPTER?! HELLO?! WHO TF DO I THINK I AM? i need to keep myself in line cuz this aint normal! i have been hiatus for soo long i need to pull it together. anywayy, its finished finally. its long ahh hell and im gonna be working on another part immediately so it wont be another 50 years dw. dont mind any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language and i have written one half of this in 2023, so i really dont feel like redoing it lol. i dare you if you can recognize where exactly i picked this draft up again. anyway, pleasee enjoy!!

also, sike, its not the last part hehe, there will be part 13 AND an epilogue

taglist (hi yall :'))

@chickencouncilrep

@venomsvl

@happy-nico

@twlegit

@ravenmedows

@blathena

‎

She had lost again.

That would be the third time tonight. Her change was getting thin and she predicted it would take one more game before she had to go kill someone for free again. So much for making a ton of money with this job. The girl watched her opponent spoon the coins from the table with one hand, laughing: "One more game and I'll have to dig up another grave, Y/N." Others laughed, so she wasn't the only one thinking that after all. It was logical, she really had to stop playing with grown men, they wasted away their old nights playing poker at this very table and she had other, young people things to do. It would be wise to get up and leave, no one would judge her for that. They would maybe even cheer her on, finally making a rational decision, no one ever seen that before when it came to her. Yet the thought of doing so was being blocked by a high indestructable wall, one that never goes away and will only be built higher.

If she does leave, she has to go home.

Her mother is probably fast asleep already, it is possible she could go to bed unnoticed and leave early in the morning. This option she used very little as Y/N never wanted to come back there. A year ago, after her mother left her blood soak through the wooden floor, Y/N made promise into her scars that she will never lay eyes on mother again. She successed in that for a year so far, becoming a hitman that was quite infamous in town. But her fame started growing from mockery, as she was really addicted to poker.

Her eyes gazed on Tim, the cemetary worker, the buryer as she liked to call him. He was one of the granpas at this table, but one of the peaceful people in town. He never wanted her to kill, just to help him with his work, although Y/N hated it more than the murders, she didn't like the aftermath of her work. Tim, being satisfied, started organizing the coins on the table. No, she cannot go home tonight.

"So what's it gonna be, kid?" asked the other player, Miyka. Her green eyes stared on Y/N's face, her wrinkles scrunched in excitment. Oh, how she hated all of them. The girl faked thinking about it before tossing dramatically her last money onto the table. "I bet 20." It didn't sound as good when she started that low, but it was all she had left. Intstead of the usual giggle and witty lines and jokes they threw her way before following up on her bad choices, they sighed, almost in dissapointment. It frustrated her, it seemed like they cared what she does instead of what amount of money she holds. It seemed like they cared about her. A wave of fear pushed her like a tsunami at this thought. People that cared ended up hating her, hurting her.

"What!" she snapped. Miyka looked at Lios, her brother, in concern, while Tim silently reorganized his coins. She looked around the table, frown getting deeper and frustration blooming wider. What was wrong with them. "Well, Y/N" Lios began, "We are just kinda...worried about you. That's all." Miyka took the word next- her previous question has been an obvious tease, the girl was dissapointed. "You clearly have nowhere to go, so you are spending your time here which is.... we get it, but." She sighed, trying to find the right words. "It's not good." Tim helped her and smiled at Y/N as if it would calm her. It did not in fact, she felt more and more anxious about their care, anxious situations made her angry. She wondered why she didn't kill them all instead of those free targets, she would never have to pay another debt again, because there would be no poker players left to play and her addiction would dissapear. "So that's it, huh? You ain't gonna play because you are scared I could actually win?" she said in her defense. Nonsense, she knew, but her heart was sweating and she was glad it didn't blow up yet. "We just care, Y/N, that-"

"Care?! Remind me Lios of just how many people I killed for you, then talk about caring for someone's life!" she spat as she stood up. Lios was more than content to her way of paying, she had no idea why he apparently cared when he could have another enemy at his feet if he just played one more game. Miyka tried to calm her down, touching her hand softly only for Y/N to flinch, hard. Her vision began to blur, the floor shook beneath her and sweat poured on her face. It was like the room was on fire, but she was the only one feeling it. Other people at the pub, being entertainted by the game or simply just hanging ot there, looked worried, some even disturbed by her behaviour.

What was happening to her?

She leaned on the table with her palms, the wood trying to ground her as she closed her eyes to not feel theirs. Voices of the players echoed her head as sounds in a cave and they felt distant, but still could make her more nervous with their caring attitude. They soon fell in whispers, driving her insane. Then, she caught one voice that silenced all the muttering, it was clear, quiet yet she felt as if its breath was in her ear. "Why play, when you can take a life for the exact amount of money laying on this table?"

She recognized the voice, it belong to the fourth player, Haltt. His voice was known only in the game. Hearing him say a sentence was unusual and therefore very powerful. It was deep, low, hard. It had authority and respect and it didn't need to ask for it. He had everyone's attention, he controlled the room with only his silent voice.

Y/N's eyes looked into his dark ones, she had to find them in the shadows floating around him, as if he commanded to them as well. "What are you saying?" she asked carefully, not knowing why. Haltt observed the table, his salt-and-pepper- although more salt than pepper- short beard surrounding his mouth as it counted the cash, then let out a little chuckle that brought goosebumps to everyone close to him. "920 Neredi. Being a hitman, a respectful hitman, would make this amount your pocket change." He grabbed the rest of her money she threw on the table and looked over to Tim. The buryer shook his head hesitantly, knowing what Haltt wants to do, but all it took was the man's neutral gaze for Tim to fold. Y/N watched him slowly scooping the money and anger took over. She pinned his hand to the table, not looking away from his face. She could hear people drawing breaths in fear, but she was free from all the anxiety now, she was grounded by his scary presence, she liked it even.

Haltt's head slowly turned to her direction, his eyes creating a straight path to hers, his eyebrows climbing up as he said softly: " You want this?" When she didn't respond, he stood up, took her hand off of his gently, not letting go as his freed hand reached behind his back, pulling out a gun. She observed quickly, it was an older model, it was small and only one bullet fit into it- however she knew a man like Haltt would only ever need one bullet- he then rotated her hand and placed it in her palm. He released her only when she seized it. Y/N let her hand warm the handle before looking up at Haltt again. "Then go make it." he finished his statement and sat back down in the shadows. Y/N checked the inside of the gun and she confirmed her knowledge about it.

She scoffed. "One bullet" Haltt nodded as if he answered to her statement. "That's all you need, I know your skills." his glass clincked when his rings touched it, raising it to his lips. She waited until he drank the remainings of his whiskey, having the suspision he might continue. "You kill the target, you'll get double of this." Her surprise was voiced by everyone around her, gasping and unbelievably whispering. Lios looked at Haltt, telling him he cannot do this. But Haltt only looked at her. "No one here wants you to play. You made them care, something a hitman shouldn't do." She squeezed her free hand into a fist, knowing his eyes are reading her like cards on the table. He leaned in: "Take your reputation back, make them fear you instead." he said quietly and it seemed only she heard it. He retreated back into his seat, letting her simmer in his words.

She knew people stopped perceiving her as a threat, a force to be reckon with, a fearful killer, and started to look at her as a 15 year old that sometimes threw tantrums. People smiled at her, old men laughed at her when they drank beer at the bar, as if she was their granddaughter doing silly things. Once, she was feared, but now she behaved like an old woman trapped inside a teenage body with gambling addiction and alcoholism. Everyone treated her as a kid she never was, but Haltt seemed to remember who she was 6 months ago, to trust her potential, her skills she never lost, but used them to not drown in debts, not to her job. She suddenly became so connected to him, she was hypnotized. The sound of the chatty room blurred again as she explored the gray ocean behind Haltt's eyes. He let her, grinning as he watched her back straighten and her nose breathing in deeply. Then came the question:

"Who is the target?"

Halt's smile stabbed through his cheeks as he answered.

-----------------------------------------------

Inej didn't allow herself a break until she got the that exact building Y/N told her to. She was nervous to say the least. If everything goes right, Pekka Rollins will be dead. It was unbelievable to even think about. The moonlight caressed her back and the salty wind danced around her in excitment. Ketterdam is cheering for them, it will be better off without Rollins. She thought of ways how to carve his heart out, she wanted to make a heart-shaped hole, but it was too complicated making the curves, it would take too long and she didn't want him to die before she was finished. She needed something quick, but symbolic. After all, when the stadwatch will find his body, her work should be admired. Or Deln's work, she hated he will take credit for it, but it's definitely for the best.

Soon, the spider heard two sets of footsteps beneath her. She looked down carefully, confirming it's Y/N. In the dark, she couldn't much see her 'friend', but she could feel the disgust and fear Y/N had from above, suspecting he might not be an actual friend after all. Another secret of hers she wished to uncover after this is over. The way Jesper talked about this girl is riling up an interest in her. She wanted to get to know her better, her fate might not much differ from her own and she would like to hear her story, she would like to see why Kaz seemed to hate her so much. She also hoped Y/N will stay with them after this. For Jesper's sake and maybe for Nina's nerves as she looked worried about her.

As Y/N dissapeared into the alley, Inej grabbed her knife, Sankt Petyr, that she sharpened moments before. The wind picked up and she stood motionlessly at the edge of the building. She watched lightened windows in the Smeet Residence, hoping no one will think about looking outside tonight. The house reminded her of one she encountered at the southern colonies of Novyi Zem. It was in a horrible shape compared to this, but it was a haven for the citizens there, they admired it like people in Ketterdam admire The Exchange. It was luxurious given the state of the land.

Her train of thought stopped before it reached a station, because her ears picked up a subtle voice, then a laugh. The sounds got louder as they slowly approached her. Rollins must be pretty nervous of the meet-up if he talked to himself, or he was not alone. A slight panic rose in Inej's chest and she prepared to make the uninvited dissapear. If Rollins truly had some company, she would have to wait until he saw Y/N to take it out, otherwise he might see her and change his mind. If we won't do it, somebody else will brought out fire in her stomach. The girl was right, if they won't try the lovely dessert of revenge, others might eat it whole with no crumbs left. She suspected Pekka is the main character in many unfinished death threats and planned out vengeances.

The Wraith took a deep breath as her eyes closed, slowing down her rapid heartbeat filled with excitment. When she opened them, the bright windows from the residence, along with the dimmed lights on the streets aluminated two beings walking. One was definitely the leader of one of the most dangerous gangs in Ketterdam.

And so was the other one.

She silently gasped, panicking again, her heartbeat picking up. What the fuck is Kaz doing here? And why was he bent over with Rollins' hand around his neck. Even though they were right across her, Inej was oblivious to their conversation- well, monologue if she was more accurate- because she was way too busy feeling the plan fall apart. This wasn't supposed to happen, Kaz was meant to know nothing and then just cheer and celebrate once they'd be done. Why did he always took matters into his hands?.

When she came back to reality, they were almost in the alleyway. The spider quickly followed them, never taking her eyes off of Kaz's helpless form. Her hands always gently grazed any surface she incountered, her feet always landing on the tips of her toes, her moves inspiring every ballerina in Kerch, yet now her hands were sliding off roughly and she had to bent her knees to make the landing silent. Her fear of her friend manipulated her body and she almost fell over the edge when the sharp turn of the building made an appearance, luckily she awokened from the feeling and stopped herself.

She was above the meeting place now.

On her right was Y/N with the strange man. Y/N was anxiously pacing around, obviously worried as they all were, even the man next to her who stood still as a pole was taking almost unseeable shuttered breaths. When the girl faced her direction, Inej wanted to warn her of the unexpected turn of events, but she wouldn't be seen anyway. As it turned out though, she also wouldn't have the time to catch her attention in time as the target slowly showed up on her left side, Kaz still in his grasp. Up close she could see the knife he held to his neck, already cut into the flesh. The man on her right stopped breathing and tried to hide his widened eyes, Rollins smirked as he saw him, shaking his head in disbelief. But the tension really sparked up when Y/N finally saw them, her eyes instantly digging into Kaz, while his were already screaming at her. Only two words bound them all together as they appeared on every present mind.

Oh fuck.

---------------------------------------------

Silence started perhaps being uncomfortable for Deln, yet Y/N only cared about the boy 5 meters in front of her. He wore blood, a lot of blood. His face showed bruises for every Barrel rat and every drop of blood that fell next to his feet tore a piece of her heart. But the worst thing was his expression, it was no longer hateful, nor angry. His eyes sinked into her and they washed her with almost a relief-like feeling, like he was happy to see her, or maybe upset to see her here, in a dangerous street that will be painted red by more than one person. His gaze was soft, almost pleading her to either run away or get closer to him.

He was worried.

"I told you to come alone if my memory is still serving right." Deln began the conversation, dragging both of their attention to him. He earned a chuckle from Rollins and a response as he squeezed Kaz's neck, straightening him up: "Well, I thought I might get the lovebirds back together, eh?" The knife retreated back to his pocket, revealing a red line on the boy's neck. Y/N allowed herself to let one tear roll down her cheek as an apology to him. Pekka must have kidnapped him, because there was no other explanation on why was he present. Deln was confused, he didn't know Dirtyhands as far as she knew, nor about her time with Hertzoon. "Aw, look at 'em, already pining for each other." Rollins mocked and pushed Kaz off of his hand. Y/N had a hard time keeping it together.

Deln sighed annoyingly and the hitman was glad he kept the plan on track. It was hard to admit he was actually a big help to her. "Whatever, let's talk business shall we? It's cold tonight. Don't wanna be out late." he said offered and Rollins laughed in his face again: "What, gotta read the slaves a goodnight story?" If she wasn't still in shock from Kaz, the plan would skip to the killing part very quickly. "Well, not anymore since you took 'em all away, didn't you." the slaver stated and wiped the smile off of Pekka's face quickly. Y/N had to admit he played the role she made for him perfectly and let the conversation rest in his hands, as she continued to worry silently about the bloodied boy.

The Dime Lions' leader seemed to get upset about Deln's forwardness, he probably thought he could talk his way out of it with his disturbing charm. He put his hands on his hips and shrugged. "It ain't my problem you keep 'em in a dirty warehouse. I offered them a room with a comfortable bed and good money if they were willing to smile. That ain't no crime, lad."

"I'm not interested in your architectural opinion on my slave-keeping. I am upset you stole my property." Y/N was very invested in the conversation she almost forgot her role was against Deln. Her tied hands turned him to her side by the shoulder and pierced him with her eyes. "Don't speak of them like that." she warned and he simpy scoffed her off. It wasn't much, she must admit, but it was enough to voice her stand in this matter. "HA! And what do you think you'll be after we're done here? You will be lucky if I allow you to work in my brothel." the last sentence was a warning, he could be so much cruel to her, like he was in his house. She was present finally, all worry stepped aside to make space for the anger she held and the focus she held earlier tonight sat back down on her mind.

"You won't touch her."

Ready to speak, Y/N was taken aback by his raspy voice with scary undertone. He spoke to her like that, not long ago. It was almost unreal he was defending her. As much as it brought shivers down her body, Rollins was unfazed by the threat. "You can barely stand, boy. What can you possibly do to me." he stated the obvious and continued once he looked her way again. "Besides, she really isn't worthy of your protection." He put one foot in front of the other slowly, walking over to her. She was on alert, if she had the opportunity, she wouldn't wait anymore and strangle him with her tired hands and her desire to dig his grave. He stopped few steps from her and reached into his pocket again, pulling out something else than a knife this time. "Lost this?"

A thin, almost not visible in the dark, black string was held between his fingers. The bracelet she lost. The one Kaz gave her on the last day they saw each other. She lost it in Rollins' office. Her temptation to reach for it was unseen by Y/N as her first instinct was to look at Kaz, who also drowned in the vision of the string. She broke her promise, a childish one, sure, but it destroyed her still. It always served as a reminder of her failure. How she failed to warn him and Jordie, how she wrapped his heart around her finger without knowing it and allowed Hertzoon to shatter it. The girl promised herself to not mess up this promise, at least one thing she could keep. In the end, she lost it too.

How does she deserve to live after destroying all good in her life?

"Yeah, cruel isn't she? Do you really think she cares about you, or anyone for that matter?" he talked to Kaz that was still mesmerized by the sight in Rollins' hand. Deln was silently watching the scene, the situation out of his hands now, the plan off of track. "You don't know anything about her, boy-". " You're wrong." she interrupted him. He turned to her, waiting to elaborate, the string still lifted between his fingers as if he was trying to hypnotize them. "I told him everything." Y/N continued as she silently wished with the last bit of hope he would take the bait. He didn't:

"Everything, eh?" he echoed as he turned his back on her and focused on Kaz fully. As he reached his personal space, his hand streched to him, giving him the bracelet. The boy fixated on it, swaying with the wind due to his trouble standing on the one good leg for this long. Rollins watched him closely, feeling Kaz's hand taking it almost immediately. When his coffee-like eyes reached his snake ones, Pekka uncovered Y/N's lie:

"Do you remember Ms. Hertzoon?"

---------------------------------------------------------

"...You what?"

"Don't you dare be offended, you manipulated her and then left us. You're as bad as I am."

That made them punch her strongly in the stomach. Funny, Rollins wanted to watch her suffer, but was too lazy to torture her himself. They were on this for 2 hours now, or she at least thought so, she couldn't tell if the ringing was only in her ears. Rollins had her sit on a chair and then asked questions. The first were stupid and simple, almost like a small talk: Did she rob him, why is she back, when did she get back, etc. She earned 5 different punches in this round. Then the latter began. They wanted to know what happened after the con trick- as he called it- which resulted in her split lip and first blood drawn. Then another small talk, remembering all their time together and then, the truth. "Where is your mother?" it began and ended in countless of other painful things she couldn't be bothered to remember.

"How." he almost whispered, it was so dramatic that Y/N would laugh if she wasn't wheezing with every breath. "Oh, please. Like you care." she fully expected the hit for that one, though it still hurt like hell. "How!" he ordered her and watched her grow a grin with her painted-red mouth. She could still feel the little gun in her little hand, standing at the foot of her mother's bed. She watched her sleep for a moment before she truly aimed. Haltt was right, it did get back her reputation. He gave her the money and she counted every single coin to make sure it really was doubled. Fortunately, he was an honest man.

"One bullet was all it took."

To say she regretted it would be a lie, the biggest one in history maybe. She second-guessed it on her way home, sure, but she more doubted Haltt's promise than her actions. However, once she really saw her mother's chest rise and fall, nothing was easier than to pull the trigger. If she was a monster in her eyes, she would become one in her memory.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!" was the last thing she heard from him, then her ears were filled with ringing and also pain when her nerves couldn't take it anymore. Everything went dark after a while, she was sure she couldn't breath and her eyes zipped themselves tightly, but even though she lost consciousness, she was sure she never stopped smiling while it lasted.

-----------------------------------------------

He always suspected some part of her story was left out, it would be unwise to tell him everything and she was not stupid. While Kaz did predict that something happened with the mother, he didn't expect this. He answered her eyes as they asked for connection and tried to assure them of his unchanged opinion. So what? He also done horrible things, they all have, especially Rollins. Such a hypocrite, that man. When he finished re-telling the story of Y/N's torture, he retreated from the boy's space, fortunately for him, because Kaz would have no hesitation in twisting Pekka's neck. Everything was silent for a while, the wind whispered cold around them as they all studied each other. Kaz looked at the building's roof next to them, seeing only darkness, but feeling her presence. He hoped that whatever Y/N planned to do with Inej would be useful. And what did he know, maybe this situation is going extremely well for them.

"Well, that is truly shocking, but unfortunetely, Y/N's dead mom won't solve this conflict. So let's solve it ourselves, shall we?" The slaver spoke and grabbed the girl next to him by the bicep, dragging her with him closer to Rollins. Kaz took a small, unnecessary step forward as a move to help her. Seeing Deln's hand on her made the water rise around him, he could feel her discomfort and felt it himself. They stopped and he threw the girl in front of him lightly, so she wouldn't fall, but aggressively enough, so she would sway. "Pay me for the slaves and she's yours, as promised." the boy's fist turned white at that, wishing he could hang Deln's organs at the lamppost. "Hmmm" groaned Rollins in thinking. "How much do ya want?"

"3000 kruge."

"Pardon?"

Deln rolled his eyes. "It was 100 slaves you stole from me, every slave is expensive and believe me, I'm giving you a discount right now." Rollins nodded at his explanation. At this point, Kaz thought about getting out of there. He was being ignored and would be forgotten in a while. Rollins couldn't see him, Deln could, but he doubted he would care. However, she could too, and his heart radiated an unfamiliar feeling at the thought of dissapearing without Y/N. If this situation happened with anyone else, he'd be already at the Slat, drinking shots and drowning in silence of his room. Dirtyhands planned the escape, Kaz refused to go through with it. He refused to leave her. "Alright, alright. How about this." Rollins spoke his thoughts. "I'll give you half of what they make me from now on and if you ever wander in the Sweet Shop, you won't have to pay." Deln was silent, but he was clearly concidering it.

"Huh? Sounds good?" Smiling Pekka streched out his hand and waited for a handshake. Every set of eyes watched Deln's movement, from his step closer, closer to Rollins, closer to Y/N, until he squeezed Pekka's hand, reflecting his expression. "That's a deal, then." said the robber. "Deal." said the slaver. Kaz didn't know what that meant and from the girl's face, he could tell the confusion was shared. Although, he truly realized this wasn't part of their plan after Deln quickly reached for Y/N's belt with the same hand that just closed a deal, pulling out a small gun, one that could barely fit a bullet, and aiming it at the hitman. She was frightened, taking steps back, but she didn't got very far when Deln grabbed her by the collar, holding her close to his body.

"Like mother like daughter."

He was instantly on the move, as fast as he could, trying to prevent what was about to happen. The bullet was faster though. Before hearing the gunshot, they heard Deln's scream. Y/N felt to the ground and Kaz was at her side immediately. His eyes panicking, trying to find the wound while his heart sounded the alarms and awakened fear. Not like this. He couldn't lose her like this. He soon found the gunshot and without thinking threw his hands to press it down. They never made contact with it, Rollins' knife already found its way back to his neck, pulling him away from her. "You didn't think I forgot about you, did ya?" he laughed in his ear before Kaz threw his head back, hitting him in the nose. The grip got loose and he turned around, sending his anger and frustration in his fist. Rollins tumbled and he kicked him on the ground, getting him closer to the place he belongs.

Deln moaned in pain and the boy finally saw the reason. Below his bent over form, a puddle of blood formed and in it swam his thumb, right above Sankt Petyr. The corners of his mouth lifted a bit, he couldn't remember how did he survive all this time without Inej watching over him and the crows, it made him grateful she is back for now. His eyes were set to find Y/N again, but he only saw a red trace from where she laid. She must've gotten away. Good girl.

He couldn't follow her steps, because Rollins already got up from the cobblestones, ready to strike. He breathed heavily, supporting the place Kaz kicked him in with his hand. He couldn't understand why Rollins always came back into his life. He tried to avoid him all his time in Ketterdam, yet life always brought them together. Or death, he wasn't sure, maybe they were destined to destroy each other. Pekka Rollins was like a mosquito bite: itching to be noticed and when Kaz does so, he feels a brief satisfaction before the itch comes back and is worse than before. He was also as annoying. It needed to be finished right here and tonight

The boy braced himself and waited on the mosquito's move, straightening himself. Little did he know, the shadow from above already closed in on the man. Kaz watched as she kicked his knee from the back and caught his hair, stopping him from falling fully on the ground again. Sankta Lizabeta could be soon visible above his heart, the tip waiting to be pushed in. Only then, Dirtyhands quietly sighed in relief.

"He still can't do it without ya, huh? Tell me boy, when will you start being a man and do things on your own?" Rollins mocked them as he recognized the face, which currently held the future of his heartbeat. Kaz limped slowly closer, feeling Inej's eyes on him. He lowered his head once he entered Pekka's personal space dangerously deep. "When my brother will get his revenge in hell."

As soon as the menacing words reached Rollins, his lips twitched up at the sight of Sankta Lizabeta slowly painting an imaginery outline of the man's heart, being applauded by his blood-curling scream. Inej wasn't the one for torture, but he could see the bit of joy in her eyes and the relief on her face. She deserved to be the one that would free Ketterdam from this parasite and he let her have it, already searching for the bloody trail Y/N left behind.

His eyes alerted him when they caught it and he began to follow the path, slowly, limping as Deln's whines cheered him on.

------------------------------------------------------

The stars were with her, sometimes changing their position or widening in her eyes as they waited to claim her. Salty waterdrops tapped her tired legs, reminding her of where she sat. She imagined death many times, it wasn't unusual for someone in her profession. She remembered Tim talking about the peace that comes with it, saying it is kind, so it would be easier for the soul to leave the body. For her, it was obvious. Everything would be kinder than life. However, nothing could prepare her for the last moments. Y/N realized that no matter how much you imagine it, it will always surprise you. The knowing that this is the last time she is going to exist in wasn't something her brain could comprehend. Maybe that was the mystery death held, that was the fuel for the fear in others, not understanding until it was too late.

Wind played softly with her hair while it kissed the bruises of her now untied hands, and she tried hard to feel everything at the same time. The clothes touching her skin, the numbness in her feet, her shaky breath as it entered and left her system, but mostly, she tried to memorize the pain in her stomache and the bullet inside her body. It was an intense feeling, so she wanted to feel it as much as possible, before it would fade and with it her heart.

The hitman got hit.

This is how her victims probably felt. She brought this feeling to numerous lives. Her mother felt this way too. Y/N couldn't decide if dying felt good or disgusting, but she could be certain it was lonely. Even if people surrounded her, it wouldn't be better. It was an experience for her soul, no one from the outside could empathize.

She wondered where her grave would lay as the slow footsteps got closer. Y/N heard him limp next to her and it seemed like the stars noticed him too, because they stopped moving once he sat down, as though they only wanted to be seen by her. He was visibly tired, still bleeding from his neck.

Maybe he was feeling the final presence too.

Maybe her starts would take them both.

Silence and the waves crashing made the space between them comfortable, maybe too comfortable for her liking. His breath was disrupting hers as it naturally tried to match the rhythm. The moment became so peaceful, she almost forgot about their history. It felt like nothing happened between them, they were just kids, sitting by the port, watching stars and listening to the ocean. They weren't Dirtyhands and Saskia. They weren't the Bastard of the Barell and Snowflake.

They were Y/N and Kaz. As they were always meant to be.

"Do you believe in faith?"

It felt like yesterday since he asked her that question. Every shared memory of them felt so close to her now, as if time was all messed up. Maybe death was already doing its job. Kaz was taking his time with the answer, breathing heavily, as if the air had to fill his words first before she could hear them.

"Yes...I do."

He exhaled, his low empty voice responding. Her lips lifted into a messy smile, her muscles were losing their power all over her body, but that didn't stop her from reaching into her coat and pulling out a folded, bloodied paper that her fingers swiftly grabbed from her slaver's back pocket before he could shoot her. It was almost bizzare, how a small, easily rippable piece made her revisit the demons of the past. She wondered if Deln wanted this all along. Maybe he wanted Rollins to kill her, so he could make his deal with him. Or maybe it was just faith, wanting to see how far she would go for a false sense of freedom.

"It doesn't mean anything." Y/N stated as she felt Kaz looking at the release paper. "I just needed proof that I'm not under anyone's influence anymore, but..." her eyes followed the ongoing waves. They looked like on a leash, as if someone released them, so they could explode onto the harbor's walls, only to pull them back again shortly after, reminding them they were still being controlled. It seemed torturous, humiliating. It looked like her. "...I will never be free of him."

Y/N couldn't look at the boy, even if his burning gaze could only be extinguished by an eye contact. He was right, she was a monster. She could see it now and she wouldn't hide from this fact. She would accept herself before her heart would stop singing. It was the least she could do with the very limited time, coming to terms with her own self.

The stars started moving again slowly as Kaz spoke: "He can't control you anymore..." His tone showed certainty. Inej had to claim her souvenir of revenge by now, but he still managed to squeeze out a scoff from the hitman. She couldn't believe he allowed himself to be so naïve. Rainbow won't repair the damage done by storm, same as killing Pekka Rollins won't erase his actions and the following conciquences. His influence made her do things beyond his leadership. It scarred her for life, and those scars bled onto others without the possibility to heal. She bled on him too. She killed his brother for fuck's sake.

"The things he caused precedes him." Y/N finally looked at Kaz, his eyes seemed to be glowing in her hallucinating mind. "I can't be changed." She whispered, knowing he would hear every single letter. The moon illuminated him perfectly. His features casted a soft look under its light and Y/N was glad this would be the appearence of him she would take to her grave. She was happy to become one of the stars that would continue to shine on him.

Suddenly, death seemed very pretty.

The girl saw his hand on hers before she could feel it. It was weirdly warm, even though he barely touched her. His eyes demanded her ears' attention as he spoke, slowly, so she could feel the words. "You don't need to be changed."

Her mind was confused. How could he even speak such things?

"I am a killer." she reminded him.

"Not by choice." he argued.

"I killed my own mother and enjoyed it." she was restless in making him hate her.

"Your mother's conciquences of her own actions." he dodged her attempt.

"I killed your brother." was when she knew she would win. It wasn't excusable. Nothing could possibly erase this from Kaz's mind, no apology was enough, she was certain. That was the reason she couldn't understand why Kaz's hand began to hold hers more tightly as his eyes studied the wound in her stomache, covered by her arm that desperately tried to prevent the blood from pouring out, but it became more and more hopeless. "You're dying and not doing anything about it." he aknowleged. Y/N smiled briefly, from pain and also from his slow understanding of her plan.

"I deserve it." she spoke weakly, every word felt heavy on her tongue and she was about to give in to their weight. He only observed her, as her body was slowly losing the ability to move, as her energy was being sipped by the waves below. It suddenly felt a bit scary for her, she was in the process of dying and it strangely ignited the last bit of her will to live.

Kaz did nothing, he only asked: "Why?" She looked at him, her eyes shooting fear. She guessed she would engage with every emotion before turning off. Maybe the nature granted this privilege to every person, so they would get to have the proper goodbye to their body.

"I never done anything good, I only brought pain." her lips responded, making Kaz nod slowly. Y/N gasped softly as the fear intensified. This feeling was unlike any before, like her life was slowly slipping through her body, through the wound. Her arm pressed tightly, as much as she could to slow down the inevitable, but it was too late. "Maybe it's time to change that." Kaz spoke. She wouldn't be able to change her ways if she died, the only thing she would remember about this life was how she made it difficult for everyone else.

Y/N sighed, death was almost touching her, heart was losing its music. She no longer felt the waterdrops on her legs and the stars dimmed their light. "It's too late."

The port beneath her began to sway, as if it would tip over to the ocean anytime. She gripped the concrete edge, slipping her hand from Kaz's to do so, trying to stop it from moving, only for it to sway more. She picked her eyes up at the sky, seeing only her five stars in the black treacle sky, as her body pushed closer to the waves.

Death awaited her.

Like those waves, Y/N was suddenly pulled back by someone's hands, feeling her body lift up from the port, supported in the air. Her form bounced with every other step and another warm breath kept mixing with hers. She imagined those arms were of an angel, bringing her to heaven. Or a devil, bringing her to hell. She gave into its touch nonetheless.

"I know you're not very good at keeping them, but would you promise me one last thing?" a voice asked her, a low and a tired one. One that could only belong to an angel the way it kept her dying heart beating. The girl could only hum, agreeing to the angel's request. The voice sounded serious, threatening almost, but she could hear the worry hidden behind it, as it spoke.

"Don't make me lose you."

---------------------------------------------------

Nina whined, having trouble with breathing as her hands shook from the need to be put down. She saved the Dregs numerous times from a certain death, yet Y/N exceeded her expectations. The heartender tried her very best to wake her heart up, while Jesper and Wylan panicked to pull out the bullet and seize the wound, so no more blood would be lost. What wasn't helpful, though, was Brekker, constantly yelling at them for trying harder. She understood that his anger was powered by the fear for that girl, but that didn't put out the urge to fill his face with more wounds, maybe a broken nose even.

"I swear, Nina. If she dies.." he exclaimed again, not helping the situation in any way.

"It will be on you!" Nina barked at him, frustration clearly visible not only on her tone, but her tired features. Her eyes shot to Jesper and Wylan an apologizing look as she saw their hands bloodied and faces worried. The door swinged open behind her, revealing Inej. Nina felt relief wash over her as she saw her. Kaz would maybe stop being such an asshole in her presence.

"Is she breathing?" Inej asked and immediately moved to Y/N's lying form, putting her cheek above her nose. "Barely." Wylan answered stressfully. Kaz's worry shifted to fear, Nina could sense that, even when her full focus was on the hitman's weak heart. She was barely alive, but the heartender was still surprised it could beat. She was strong and Nina hoped she would continue to fight.

Jesper gasped heavily and looked at her. "The wound's sealed!" he sounded so hopeful and it brought Nina some strenght to see him like this. She had to take quick breaths before tightening her hands in the air one more time, fastening Y/N's heartbeat. Fortunetely, it worked. "She's breathing again!" Inej said with a small smile, causing Kaz to limp closer to see for himself. His own wounds weren't yet treated, but Nina didn't even try to convince him. He had trouble looking after himself when one of them was hurt, she could imagine how much worse it was in this case, where his heartbeat's fire was on the brink of death.

She could feel the heartbeat pick up to a slow pace. It wasn't yet normal, but at least she didn't have to control it now. Nina put her hands down and fell down on an armchair beside her. Everyone in the room fell victims to exhaustion, Nina closed her eyes for a moment, just focusing on her breathing. Wylan was the first to stand up and slowly make his way out of the room with the words she'll be alright, Nina, you did a great job. Jesper followed, squeezing Nina's shoulder and nodding shortly at Kaz, before the door closed after him too.

"You either let me treat your wounds or you will go and get some sleep." she offered to the man, her eyes fixated on Y/N. She was glad he, at least, wrapped his neck in a bandage during this hard time, but he had other quite serious wounds she had to treat sooner or later. Kaz allowed himself to be predictable as he stared at the hitman and then slowly limped out of the room. Before he did though, he surprised her after all.

"Thank you."

Nina's head snapped his way and watched him leave, she didn't expect that. Inej sat next to her on the armrest, following her eyes to the laying girl. "You should rest as well, I know how tired you are." the heartender studied her features with a caring look. Her friend fought the sleep well so far, which she hated to see. "I'm not leaving you alone." the spider said with a decisive eyes connecting with hers. She knew the heartender couldn't sleep herself, as she had to look out for Y/N's heart. Nina flashed a defeated smile. She was grateful for her presence, she missed her a lot, but it would ease her mind if she went to sleep. However, knowing her stubborn mind, she scooted over to the very side, creating a tiny space for Inej to sit, which her friend accepted with a smile.

"Alright then. Tell me how you killed Rollins and DON'T spare any details."

------------------------------------------------

[organ-market]

What Makes Monster Prom Special? | Love Letter and Review

By Ghost Emoji 👻

Monster Prom, 2018

In 2018, the first installment in the Monster Prom series exploded onto the internet and made some major waves in its wake. Monster Prom, developed by Barcelona-based studio Beautiful Glitch, is a multiplayer visual novel where you (and up to three other friends) run around school, courting different monster characters in hopes of asking your crush out to the big prom. Since its release, the game has spawned two sequels, with the third one coming soon. Its sequels take various different spins on this core structure, but it always remains a humorous, multiplayer romp that friends gather on a couch, or a Discord call, to laugh and have a good time. 

Monster Prom’s creator, Julián Quijano, was inspired by a different game with a very similar gameplay structure called The Yawhg, where rather than kiss hot monsters with your friends, you try to save a town from an impending evil. Monster Prom takes the multiplayer narrative adventure of The Yawhg and runs with it to blend internet humor and pop culture references with the hilarity of a multiplayer dating sim, all the while backed by the beautiful art of Arthur Tien.

To me, the game itself feels less like an actual game I want to play and more like a fun activity or experience to share amongst a group of friends. The game’s stated objective is to successfully ask out one of the game’s several romanceable monsters to the prom, but in truth I’ve never felt too bad about being rejected in the game. Winning doesn’t really matter as much as having fun with some close friends, and honestly, I don’t find myself playing the game alone anyway. For my group, it’s practically mandatory that we voice each of the in game characters. Getting into the characters, the weird scenarios, and making funny voices are what make playing Monster Prom so special to me.

Beyond the excellent writing, characters, and art, I think that is what makes Monster Prom resonate with so many people. It is beloved because it can be shared and experienced communally, which is what differentiates it from other visual novels that usually are much more solitary undertakings. The multiplayer aspect to Monster Prom is essential to its success. So even if your fictional monster crush tossed you into the gutter, you and your friends are still laughing along and are ready to play another round.

Spooky Academy, the setting of Monster Prom

That being said, the game is not without its faults. I really do wish the game had a save feature, at least as a contingency. It’s a real shame when the power cuts out, your computer crashes, or somebody has to leave early and you aren’t able to just pick up where you left off, especially if you’re already halfway through the game. This issue is exacerbated by the length of the games, which in of itself isn’t a real flaw. The games always offer a short and long mode, but even so, the game can easily take up 40-50 minutes even on the short mode, especially if you and your friends want to voice the characters (which I really recommend). The Monster Prom franchise as a whole isn’t really for everyone either. Humor is inherently subjective, so if you aren’t laughing at the jokes, you won’t be having a good time since comedy takes the front and center of this game.

Those general flaws are prominent throughout each of the games, so if you like one, you’re sure to like the other ones. The third game in the franchise, Monster Road Trip, is the only one that strays from the dating format. While romance takes a back seat, you instead try to balance your different stats, ensuring none of them reach 0. It’s also the only game where you can lose before its conclusion, and the only one where you lose collectively as a team. I’ve played about two or three rounds of Road Trip and that’s not enough for me to make a solid opinion on it, so for now I really recommend the first two games, Monster Prom and Monster Camp. There’s a tremendous amount of content throughout all the games and enough scenarios to ensure you won’t get bored anytime soon.

My advice for those interested in the game is to just grab the game with the cast you prefer, or even try out the free demos available on Steam. The games themselves are relatively cheap, all priced around $12 USD, but the first game goes on sale frequently for dirt cheap. It’s an interesting and exciting game, and I really hope more games like it follow. Multiplayer narrative video games feel like an untapped gold mine of possibility. You frequently see the genre explored naturally in the world of tabletop gaming, so I’m eager to see what the virtual world has in store for bold new storytelling.

-Ghost Emoji 👻

[theserpentsadvocate]

Aaaaah, I love stuff like this, thank you!

Tagged by: @copperarsenite

Tagging: @feeisamarshmallow @allonsymiddleearth @iceberg-hootenanny (and basically anyone who wants to, honestly)

rules: post the first lines of up to 10 of your last fics/chapters posted on ao3 or your wips and try to draw some conclusions.

I'm going with fics in general, not chapters (because otherwise it would be entirely Satisfaction), and probably sticking to VM fic because all the Tolkien stuff I've posted recently has been crossposting. So last five posted and last five WIPs worked on. :)

(Also, warning that the second-last sentence has a racial slur (used by a character.))

Satisfaction

Veronica’s dad was the sheriff, so she was usually pretty scrupulous about not breaking the law. 

Flipping the Script

All Jade wanted was to get her mother’s car and drop it off with enough time to get to the library before it closed, and since the library was open late on Thursdays and she’d stopped to pick it up at 4 PM, it hadn’t seemed that difficult.

Unexpected Dividends

It was probably weird to run a to-do list for your boss in your head, but Eli had been doing it since his second month on the job, because Fred was competent, and reasonably organized, and obviously he was a hell of a mechanic, but his ability to prioritize was a little bit whacked out.

The Most Important Part

“Hot date?”

The Art of Starting Over

It turned out that calling your sort-of boyfriend after a whole week and a half of radio silence was daunting.

Choices (upcoming post S4 oneshot)

Jade grew up in San Diego.

Hunger Games AU for 'X universes Veronica didn't grow up in'

I didn’t sleep well, the night before the Reaping.

untitled WIP (zombie non-AU, post-S4)

Veronica made it home for the end of the world.

Carmen for 'Would've, Could've, Should've' (pending oneshot series)

Yesterday, Carter Phelps shoved Carmen into the stair railing and called her a wetback, like her parents swam all the way here from Venezuela.

Circle of Magic AU for 'X universes Veronica didn't grow up in'

The first time the Guard caught Weevil breaking into a rich man’s house, they tattooed an X on the web of skin between his thumb and first finger and threw him into a cell for the night.

*

So for the obvious – I favour third person (which I knew), and I’m a bit heavier on female POVs than I anticipated (which I’m pleased with, actually). Also Jade's very prominent, and since I’m already 50% of the Jade/Eli tag on AO3, that doesn’t exactly shock me.

(It’s not immediately obvious for all of them, but every single one of these is Weevil-heavy, which is the most unshocking thing possible. I think I have exactly one VM fic in progress where he’s not central to the entire premise, and even there he’s still majorly present.)

Other than that, the closest thing to a trend that I can pick up is that apparently I like opening sentences that feel either dynamic or relatable? Satisfaction and the post-canon zombie fic both have the more classic hook of raising questions about what’s going on, and most of the JEC fics as well as Carmen’s WCS entry are an attempt to jump you right into the characters’ heads or at least their social reality. Whereas the fusion AUs seem to establish their crossover-fandom immediately (THG with an immediate reference to a well known part of that universe, and COM by heavily echoing Briar’s introductory sentence). I don’t know if I did it on purpose, but I like it, so I’ll have to see how much/if that holds true for the other ones in the series. (The BTVS and Animorphs ones are harder, because they involve discovering something, but the summary of the latter will definitely start with My name is Veronica…, and the 1-800-WHERE-R-U one starts with a direct shout-out.)

Anyway! I’d be interested to know if there’s anything that strikes you. :)

[recentadultburnout]

Info for writer in Thai series fandom: Mismatch bits and pieces.

All things too short to have their own ch.

A way to call a class

I noticed that when I read about a class of students in English, it was called by the year that class graduated, which is different from how it is in Thai. In Thailand, we count a class based on the school they are in. For example, Pat and Pran from Bad Buddy are in Class 36th. That means there are students who have already graduated from this school in total 35th generation, and they are the 36th.

Education system

อนุบาล-anuban-Nursery

3 years 

about 3-5 years old

The class number is typically written as อ.year/room number or simply year/room number, with the assumption that anyone who will need to use the number is aware that they are for nusery. 

อ. is the abbreviation of อนุบาล-anuban-Nursery (ป. for prathom and ม. for matyom. Read aloud as Or, Por, and Mor, respectively.)

If you're in the third year, the first room, it can be written as อ.3/1

ประถม-prathom-Elementary school

6 years

can be divided into 2 parts, 3 years each, prathom ton(ต้น-first) and prathom plai(ปลาย-last)

about 6-11 years old

มัธยม-matyom-Secondary school

6 years

can be divided into 2 parts, 3 years each, matyom ton and matyom plai

After matyom ton, one can choose to continue studies in matyom plai or switch to vocational classes. At present, the choice of vocational education is not very popular among families with wealth, and there is some negative bias.

about 12-17 years old

มหาลัยวิทยาลัย-mahawitthayalai-University

Usually 4, but this can vary depending on what you study.

*Most schools in Thailand have 2 semesters.

From nursery to secondary school, it usually like this:

Semester 1 starts around mid-May and ends in late September or early October.

Semester 2 starts around the beginning of November and ends in late February or early March.

At the university, it is usually like this:

Semester 1 starts around September and ends in December.

Semester 2 starts around February and ends in May.

But it may change if there is an announcement from the Ministry of Education.

*There are 9 years of compulsory education. From prathom to matyom ton.

Money

Thai Baht bank notes are divided into five denominations: 20, 50, 100, 500, and 1,000 baht, which are sometimes referred to by their colors: 20-green, 50-blue, 100-red, 500-purple, and 1,000-gray(1,000 baht banknotes are actually more brown than gray, but maybe because brown 10 baht notes were used before, or the 1,000 baht notes might have used to be grayish, they are called this way.) As for coins, we have 1, 2, 5, 10 baht and 1, 5, 10, 25, and 50 satang. One hundred satang is one baht. Satang is not used much, and if we do use it, we will mostly use only the 25 and 50 satang coins.

System of measurement

The metric system is the most popular. Other systems will be used if the topic requires it, such as using tea spoon and cup when baking or using Thai measurement for gold weight and land.

Meal

In Thai we have the word กับข้าว-kapkhao, which is things to eat with rice. When we eat it, it's commonly with many people, and we share it together, not somebody's in particular. At each meal, the kapkhao and the rice will be placed on the table for everyone to scoop up and put on their own plate. If you eat with someone you are not super close to, then you should have an extra utensil for scooping up kapkao and rice as to not make the other party uncomfortable. As for when you eat with friends, I would recommend using it also, but it is up to your group of friends' hygiene standards.

Grounded

Disclaimer:this is my perspective as a daughter of a family in Bangkok.

Getting grounded by one's own parents as a punishment is not a real concept here. I'm quite sure about that. Like, it's kind of redundant? Most of us already have to tell our parents all about where we go, when we will be back and with whom before we go out, and if they don't want us to go, then we don't. Plus, our public transportation wasn't that covered, so if a kid who still can't drive and lives far from it wants to go out, then having parents drop off and pick up after is kind of the only option. It's not like normally we are free to go out whenever.

Gap year

Taking a gap year wasn't the norm. It is often seen as a waste of time, and the people who did it might get gossip that they had to do it because they couldn't pass the exam.

Colors of the day

We have a color for each day, which came from a tale about Songkran, and it is common knowledge. Thus, when we want to color code something day-related, we use it and assume people will understand. A bakery company, Farmhouse, had been color-coding a bag sealer as a sign to tell what day their bread was put on shelves since 1987.

Sunday – Red

Monday –Yellow

Tuesday – Pink

Wednesday – Green

Thursday – Orange

Friday – Blue

Saturday – Purple

Year

We use both the Buddhist era (BE) and the Christian era. Sometimes we choose one to write down and sometimes we write them both side by side, Thai numerals for BE on one line and Arabic numerals for CE on another. But if it's an official document, it's more likely to be only BE. 

This year(2022) is 2565 BE.

Tip

Tiping is not part of our culture. Nowadays, some people have begun to start tipping due to the influence of other cultures, and there are both positive and negative opinions about that. Some say extra money is definitely a good thing, but some say if we started tipping people, the employer might see it as an opportunity to reduce their employee payment.

Chinatown

There are no words that translate directly into "Chinatown" in Thailand. Each neighborhood is usually called by its street name or landmark near it, and those Chinatown are that way too. The most popular one in Bangkok was called Yaowarat.

Move out

Not moving out of one's own parent's house is normal. Moving out is normal too, but from what I know, nobody will expect their kids to move out for no reason. Some families even dislike that very idea. Like, if you want to move out for no other reason than you just want to, there must be something wrong.

One of my friends who has a big family and really wants to try to live alone for once, but can't say so because her mother will surely be upset, is now planning to apply for something that requires her to stay somewhere else, so she can use that as the reason she has to move out.

Insect as a snacks

While it is a thing we do have, it's not that popular. Many have never eaten it before. Many eat it once just to try it and never again. There's a good chance that there's no one at all in a room full of people who eats fried insects on a regular basis. It's not exactly rare, but also not something that sells everywhere.

Don’t touch the head

Is something I heard many foreigners talk about Thai people, and I guess, while it might be something they were told by a Thai, it got exaggerated. Sure! You shouldn't go around touching strangers' heads. But that's just common sense, right? Why would anyone think they could touch any part of a stranger at all? For a close person, it's a completely different thing, and don't forget, everybody has a different and will have different boundaries!

Touching monks

It's not that women can't touch monks, it's that monks can't touch women, and we cooperate with them to make it easier for them to stay in the precepts.

Religion

The religion in Thailand consists of about 94% Buddhists, about 4% Muslims, about 1% Christians, and the rest are others. It can be seen that there are more Muslims than Christians, but Christians are mentioned slightly more in the entertainment media in my opinion.

Month

The name of the month in Thai can tell which month has how many days. Months with 30 days end with "Yon(ยน)", months with 31 days end with "Kom(คม)", and February ends with "Phan(พันธ์)".

Christmast

Although Christians are not the majority in Thailand, we do have some Christmas celebrations. The mall will play some Christmas songs and sell decorations or other Christmas-themed items, for example. It might not be that big, but it's there.

My mother says that we Thais will take every chance to have a festival and a celebration. Lol

Dishwasher

Dishwashers aren't a popular household item. I don't know the reason.

Age

Age of majority

In Thailand, one will reach their majority at 20 years old, but you can become majority before 20 after your lawful marriage, which can occur with legal guardian permission at 17 or older, or, in a special case, when you are younger than 17 but older than 15, and there is a reasonable cause for marriage and the court grants the permission.

Age of consent

Doing something indecent to someone who is under the age of 15 is illegal, regarding that person's consent. As for someone who is more than 15 but still under 18, it will need both that person and their legal guardian's consent to be legal. If one of them gave consent, it is still illegal. If both parties are under age, then they are both in the wrong and can both be sued by each other's parents.

Driving license

The applicant for a temporary personal motorcycle license must be at least 18 years of age, but if it is for a motorcycle with a total cylinder of not more than 110 cubic centimeters, it must be at least 15 years of age.

A temporary car driver's licensee must be at least 18 years of age.

Public-car and public-tricycle licensees must be at least 22 years of age.

A public motorcycle licensee must be over the age of 20.

A road roller, a tractor, and other driving licensee under section 43 must be at least 18 years of age.

Floods

Floods are the most common natural disasters in Thailand.

Transportation

In Bangkok, there are a few choices for in-town transportation. such as Bts, Mrt, buses, mini buses, taxis, tuk tuks and motorcycles. As for travel between provinces, there are trains, tour buses, vans, and airplanes. Once arriving in other provinces, public transport options vary from area to area but are often more limited than in Bangkok.

Insect screens

Typically, windows are equipped with insect screens. They can be hinged, sliding rails, or something else, but they are usually there.

Apparently, in some places, they are not typically installed. I'm a bit culture shocked. Do you usually have it or not? If not, could you tell me what it is like?

Social media

Facebook currently has some reputation for being an old people's platform but is still popular.

Twitter is also quite popular.

Line is the most popular one for chat apps. It is something you will need to have if you need to communicate with a lot of Thais. Many people complain about how it's not a good way to send files for work or that it makes it hard to separate between private time and work time, but it still maintains its status as being the main means of communication in offices and universities.

Tiktok is gaining many new users during the quarantine.

COVID 19

I searched in English for a bit and think you could find information such as daily cases or any regulations easily enough. As for the Thai people's opinion in general, we can sum it up by saying that many of us have no confidence in our government.

and here are some details:

We have worn a mask for PM 2.5 since before COVID-19 broke out and many will likely still wear it until we are sure there is no COVID left.

Vacine distribution is not very consistent and thorough. So, at the same time, there is someone who gets their third vaccination and someone who hasn't gotten their first yet. 

After COVID-19, no-contact deliveries have become extremely popular.

Y

The first queer media that gained popularity in Thailand were Japanese manga and anime. So we adopt the Japanese term "yaoi" for BL and "yuri" for GL, and that is the reason why we usually call queer series "series Y" in Thai.

Index

[the12thnightproject]

*jumps in*

Gonna fly in and drop a ⭐star⭐ because I know there's probably Director's Commentary you probably are dying to talk about in Ten Things I Hate About Mitsuhide. No pressure, though. Thank you!

Hi and thank you for the ask!

And you're right, I haven't had as much chance to talk about Ten Things, the way I have about Shingen and Mitsunari's longfics.

Loong, long answer below the cut...

Mitsuhide's longfic wasn't intended to be the third story. Originally, it was going to be Shingen, then Hideyoshi, then Mitsunari, but when I finished Shingen's story, I realized what I had planned for Hideyoshi had too many similarities to Shingen's story, so I bumped up Mitsunari. I was loosely considering Ieyasu as after Mitsunari, but Mitsuhide and 'Okatsu' had so much chemistry in Mitsunari's story, that it kind of felt like it needed to be next. He was in fact the love rival in Mitsunari's story, but because we never get his POV, it's not obvious (I think if you skim over his chapters in Mitsunari's story with that in mind, you can sort of see it, but it was never stated).

I still hesitated, because Mitsuhide is so popular that I was afraid if I didn't 'get him right,' it would go down very badly. And while I think I did ok with his character, I still feel like I rushed the story, and it could have used another edit on plot. In the first draft, Mitsuhide and Katsu were separated for most of the last third of the story. Once she left Sakai, they didn't reunite until almost the end (when he joins her in modern Kyoto). But I really hated keeping my two main characters apart for so long, and I was afraid people would lose patience with the story if they were separated for all of Act III. I spent a lot of time fiddling with Act III, and kept changing stuff, even up through nights before I posted the chapters.

So let's really talk about Act III, since the first three quarters of the story were fairly easy for me to write, but that final 25% took me almost as long to write as what came before. Honestly, Act III gave me fits (granted I was writing it last winter when I was working two jobs, and I had far less time to write than normal).

Oh, aside, I'm using film terms to describe the length of my acts... Act I is the first 25%, Act II is the next 50% (although usually is divided into two parts midpoint plot twist being an emotional mid-story climax), and Act III is the final 25%. I consider Act I to go through the point where Katsuko and Mitsuhide contract to work together. Act II through the midpoint goes through when they are taken prisoner by Motonari, and the rest of Act II goes through when Katsu leaves Sakai and Mitsuhide).

In my first attempt at Act III, once Katsuko leaves Mitsuhide's townhouse, she goes to Motonari and bargains with him to take her to Tsuruga - which was my original location for Act III. For reasons (that I no longer remember) Yoshimoto was also onboard. I got about 5 or 6 thousand words into that section, realized it wasn't working (at that point, Motonari was supposed to be the love rival), and backtracked to when she left Mitsuhide. In the revision, she goes to Yoshimoto, who agrees to take her to where Yoshiaki was hiding out. By this time, I realized that Yoshimoto made a better love rival (so when I did my second draft, I gave him a lot more to do in earlier chapters). This was all part of the original handwritten draft, so that Motonari section didn't even get typed up.

As I was working on my next attempt at Act III, I wasn't really sure exactly where Yoshimoto and Katsu were specifically going. I was going to create a new location where Yoshiaki was hiding out, and as I started to describe the area they were riding into, I realized, 'wait, I already created a dark remote castle for Mitsunari's story, I know what it looks like, and the area of that is more or less where this one needs to be too, so lets just use it again.' (I'm also using it in the next story, but just a little bit near the beginning of the fic. So far.) This also allowed me to drop a couple of vague Easter egg clues for the ongoing multiverse story.

Anyway, in that draft, it wasn't Mitsuhide who doubled around and ended up there as he too searched for Yoshiaki, it was Kyubei, who, sent by Mitsuhide, was following Katsu to ensure she was ok. Katsu was aware he was following her, and when she and Yoshimoto discover Yoshiaki's plans to team up with Motonari and Kennyo in order to attack Sakai, she sneaks out of the castle (Yoshimoto creates a diversion), finds Kyubei, and gives him a message to give to Mitsuhide. Then she sneaks back in rejoins Yoshimoto (and then the plot continued more or less the way it played out in the posted draft).

I always write the "his POV" chapters last, and since I changed my mind on Act III prior to writing the his POV chapter, this never did get written, but what my original plan for "what was Mitsuhide doing while Katsu was in Genba was that he had figured out where Toshiie was, and he'd found her brother, and was 'drying him out.' He doesn't learn what happened to Katsu, until Yoshimoto visits Azuchi and tells him. Anyway. That didn't get written, because by the time I was writing the stuff that was taking place in modern Kyoto, I realized that the Act III wasn't working as written. So I dumped the Kyubei chapter and replaced it with the chapter where Mitsuhide connects with Katsu in Genba, the scene in the garden, and then I rewrote the scene on top of the castle wall to include Mitsuhide. I'm happy with that particular decision, because I think it ended up stronger that way. (Sorry Kyubei for dumping your chapter).

I don't think there was that much else I deleted between the first and the second drafts, but there was a fair amount added. Originally the priest who tries to buy Katsu on the slave ship was a one and done character and we never see him again. I later brought him back to that scene on the grounds of the temple that was used for the city managers meeting because the original scene felt a bit flat and needed more danger (originally Katsu just overhears a few different conversations, but that got repetitive). The decision to have him show up on the old video from Katsu's childhood was a last minute right before posting the chapter decision (originally the person in that scene was just a random stranger, but that didn't really pay off).

A couple of other more active scenes got added between the second and third draft to help the pacing. Most of that was in the second half of Act II, the stuff at and around the area where Mai and Hideyoshi were being held prisoner.

Oh a weird BTS thing for the chapter where Mitsuhide teaches Katsu how to pick and code crack locks, is that I actually ordered a couple of cheap antique lock knock-offs from Amazon, watched a few lock picking videos, and taught myself how it worked, to help write that chapter. That was a really fun chapter to write - I enjoyed trying to figure out the sexual tension subtext.

There is also a scene that I didn't write (because the modern section had gotten too long, and it didn't add anything except my personal fan service) but that I consider canon to the story (in my head), is that when Mitsuhide and Shingen were in modern Japan with Katsu and Sasuke, there was one night where they went to a games center and played Beat Saber. Maybe someday I'll go back and write it as a short story.

Again, thank you for asking. It's always fun to revisit this stuff, especially when I'm in the middle of breaking a new story and feel frustrated during the moments where I'm stuck. Helps to remember that the first draft is always messy and will change.

[oqmemphis]

For the benefit (?) of my non-UK followers, I want to give some updates about our election next week, just to serve as a nice reminder that other countries also have completely fucking stupid politics.

The first thing to know is that there is absolutely no tension or jeopardy whatsoever. Every poll for at least the last eighteen months has predicted the same result, which is that the governing Conservative Party - which has been in power for 14 years and has spent that time doing nothing but cutting public services while becoming embroiled in increasingly corrupt and absurd scandals - will be utterly obliterated. They have 344 seats out of Parliament's 650, and they will be very lucky to keep hold of a third of those. Prime Minister Rishi Sunak's outdoor speech in which he called the election for July 4th (while being drowned by the rain and drowned out by a man with a loudspeaker blasting 90's rock) may as well have been a resignation statement. This is a man most famous for losing his initial premiership bid to a lettuce. He will be remembered either not at all or exclusively as a failure, and his party is trapped in a years-long death spiral. I will be deferring discussion of the Conservative election campaign for later, for reasons that will become clear.

Just for reference, this is what the opinion polls have looked like since the last general election.

The heir presumptive to 10 Downing Street is Labour Party leader Keir Starmer, who defies description within the bounds of language by means of having nothing whatsoever to describe. He is an abject non-entity with no distinguishing qualities; a vague and noncommittal centrist; someone whose self-described campaign strategy is likened to carrying a Ming vase across a room. Be safe and slow. Make no sudden movements. His party is expected to win at least 400 seats.

Down at the bottom of the chart are the smaller parties. One of Britain's bizarre idiosyncrasies is that we have at least seven political parties, and a first-past-the-post political system that cannot support more than two. These smaller parties usually win anywhere up to a few dozen seats in regions with particularly strong support, but they have no hope whatsoever of ending up as the governing party. Labour has promised to fix this rather unhelpful state of affairs by implementing a proportional representation system, which I'm sure they will definitely be eager to do after winning control of two-thirds of Parliament with just 41% of the vote.

Let us begin with the Liberal Democrats. A decade ago, the Lib Dems were a fairly large centrist party that gave the Conservatives control of a Parliament with no overall majority. Since Labour's lurch middleward under Starmer, they have repositioned themselves as the UK's leading progressive party. They are led by a man named Ed Davey, who has not spent the last month campaigning so much as taking a nation-spanning holiday occasionally interrupted by the arrival of a single bemused camera operator. In the last four weeks, Mr. Davey has taken a painting class in Yorkshire, fallen off a paddleboard in the Lake District, toppled a giant Jenga tower in Hampshire, and photobombed a riverside Conservative campaign stop by by slowly rowing a boat adorned with orange signs across the back of shot. The Lib Dems are expected to go from 15 seats to well over 50, and there's a small chance they even win more seats than the Conservatives. I hope Ed's having fun.

There is also the Green Party, which exists in a permanent state of self-contradiction. They have one member of Parliament and two party leaders; these are three different people. They want to expand renewable energy while banning nuclear power. They are considered one of the UK's major parties, despite the fact that winning a total of three seats next week would be considered an unfathomably excellent result for them. I do not know what their campaign so far has involved, and I do not care enough to check.

The turquoise line on the chart, currently rising with worrying speed, is the Reform Party. While Labour is siphoning votes from the more moderate side of the Conservative Party, Reform is attempting to scavenge from its far-right/fascist wing. They are led by Nigel Farage. If you do not know who Nigel Farage is, I envy you. His rhetoric is more than a little Trumpian, but I can't immediately think of any politicians anywhere else who share his exact vibe of "the grumpiest racist at the local pub is standing for election".

Plain-spoken and British through and through, Big Nige initially said he was going to ignore the UK election to focus on the American one instead, before U-turning two weeks later to announce he would be standing for Parliament. Nigel has had seven unsuccessful candidacies before; he is depressingly likely to be eighth time lucky. This is because he is standing in one of the most firmly right-wing and anti-immigrant districts in the country, and yet another unique selling point of the British system is that you do not have to live even remotely close to the constituency you represent. I'm sure his choice to stand here of all places represents his extreme confidence in his own popularity. Big Nige will not be the prime minister, but if he were, I assume his first policy after getting rid of all the foreigners would be to deport the concept of irony.

Nigel's electoral strategy is the same as virtually everyone else's, which is to steal votes from the Conservatives. This is extremely easy, because the Conservatives have run one of the most catastrophic and floundering campaigns in political history. Rishi Sunak puts Joe Biden's "walking gaffe machine" moniker to shame. To illustrate the point: one of the Discord servers I'm in has a thread entitled "Just the Tories being Clowns". Recent highlights include:

Thousands of campaign leaflets for the party chairman were sent to the wrong constituency

The deputy chairman went campaigning with a convicted heroin dealer

All of their candidates were invited to a video call with senior party members; the time listed on the invitation was one hour later than the actual scheduled start time, so nobody turned up

Their very first advert featured the UK's flag proudly flying upside-down

Five of their candidates are being investigated by the Gambling Commission for betting on the date of the election the day before it was announced; one of them is married to the party's campaign director

They sent campaign emails to small businesses which look a lot like official communications from government departments; the legality of this is unclear

Another campaign email ended with the words "Sent from my iPhone"

A candidate posted a photo of himself holding the keys to a local house to prove he lived in the constituency where he was standing; the house was in fact an AirBnB

The official photo for one candidate's campaign launch showed less than twenty people, one of whom was a cardboard cutout of Margaret Thatcher

Sunak posted on Facebook an image of a fake quote attributed to an AI image of Margaret Thatcher (there is somehow still a cult of personality around this fucking woman)

Sunak delivered an entire speech with his back to the press cameras

Sunak left the D-Day anniversary commemmorations early to go film an interview that wouldn't air for another week, enabling Keir Starmer to get a photo op with all the world leaders he left behind in Normandy

Sunak announced a policy to reintroduce national service for 18-year-olds, which is the same thing as military conscription, except the military part is not mandatory and you can just do a month of unpaid work instead, and it's not clear that that's mandatory either, except that not doing it might deny you access to your bank account; approximately nobody likes this policy, and even fewer understand it

My current working theory is that this is Rishi's revenge tour against the party that refused to elect him until the lettuce went rotten, before he resigns from Parliament, gets the fuck out of the country he destroyed and takes a comfy consulting job in Los Angeles.

Welcome to democracy in the land of post-Brexit. It's a wild new world out here, where people scream all day about a reality that doesn't and won't ever exist, and a man with a bin on his head is trying to unseat the prime minister. Don't ask about Scotland and Wales, and for the love of god don't ask about Northern Ireland - they might all be independent in a decade anyway, depending on how things go. All hail First Lord Sir Keir, that his bland neutrality might translate into a policy that involves doing anything whatsoever.

[marimayscarlett]

Can someone please translate into English? 🙏

Hello dear anon, here's a translation of the interview. I used deepl as usual and made some changes to fit the messages Richard wanted to convey better. The interview was published on the 2nd of December, 2018.

Here's the german link again as the interview source and comparison for the german-speaking folks:

Richard Z. Kruspe presents his third album as part of the band project - Till Lindemann contributes vocal part

On November 30, Rammstein guitarist Richard Z. Kruspe released his third solo album "A Million Degrees" (Universal) as part of the band project Emigrate. Among others, Till Lindemann, Ben Kowalewicz (Billy Talent) and Cardinal Copia (Ghost) are represented with vocal contributions on it. Christiane Wohlhaupter spoke with the 51-year-old about the collaboration with the singers, his daughter and the interaction with Rammstein. They say all good things come in threes. Do you have this thought in mind for your third album as well?

I used to say that I would make three albums with Emigrate. But in the meantime I can also imagine a fourth one. Maybe in a different constellation, maybe in a completely different musical environment. I've been thinking about how it would be if I were to write a purely electronic album. Or an album with a completely different singer. As long as the world of Rammstein exists, there will probably also be the world of Emigrate. Emigrate puts me in a good balance to let off steam musically. From the age of 50, you also generally think about: Where does life still want to take me? Is there something else that could inspire me? Or just music? I think to myself, maybe there is also a completely different challenge. Creation can also be found elsewhere - perhaps in film. I'm a cineaste who watches two or three films a day. What was the last film that really excited you? So about a year ago, "Fences" with Denzel Washington. I went to the movies last week and saw "Bohemian Rhapsody" and was a little disappointed because I thought it was a Queen movie.

But then it was more like a Freddy Mercury movie ... Yes, the others came a bit too short. If I had known that from the beginning, I might have gone in with a different expectation. What's the story behind "A Million Degrees"? The basic idea comes from 2015, from the time when I was completely burned out for the first time in my life. Hence this text "A Million Degrees." This state then changed when I rewrote the album. I thought about how "A Million Degrees" could be represented visually and came up with the idea that you can also understand it geometrically with the degrees. This versatility, these "Million Degrees" - exaggerated - is what Emigrate is all about.

One of your guest vocalists on the album is Cardinal Copia from Ghost. How did this collaboration come about in the first place? The meeting came about for a completely different reason. We were looking for a producer at Rammstein. I actually wanted to ask Cardinal Copia about a producer. He then said, "I'll be in Berlin next week, let's meet." I asked him if he was interested in a collaboration, and he said he didn't do that on principle. I asked him anyway if he wanted to hear the song I was thinking for his voice. And then when he heard it, he was like, "I'm in, I'm in." He was completely influenced by the music. That's what makes it fun for me, to work with so many artists. I don't have that in my Rammstein world.

Someone who was also influenced by the music was Serj Tankian. He said about "War", the song you thought of for him, that your voice would fit much better. Will you write another song that fits his voice better?

No, I don't work that way. I write first, and then the song tells me where it wants to go. The song takes on a life of its own. It's like cooking. You have to taste it. And with the song, you have to listen very carefully. So you didn't think of Till Lindemann when you wrote "Let's Go"?

That's another story. This song was already created at the time when Till and I wanted to do something together - ages ago. The original idea of Emigrate was, Till and Richard want to do this together. The other bandmates didn't like that, so we put it on hold. But there was the idea of this song - with a different lyrical statement. I then rewrote it again, because this very, very intense time after the fall of the Wall came in mind, when we commuted between Berlin and Schwerin. That was such a wild time.

You dedicated the song "You Are So Beautiful" to your daughter Maxime. What does she think about it? She doesn't take it so seriously at seven years old - maybe that will come later. We shot a video for the song together in Los Angeles. That was a risk, of course, and there was some thought about shooting it with another child. But she did a great job. With Emigrate, I also live out the personal-emotional part. Something I don't do at all with Rammstein. How well can you reconcile rock star life and father duties?

I think the majority of artists generally struggle with themselves. And the majority of artists realize at some point that they can write better under the influence of pain. Of course, there are moments when you enter that zone as an artist. I don't think you can cut that out completely, and a child always feels that, too. My daughter is with me one week and then with her mother the next week. So I live that out in the week that she's not with me. I'm a very moody person, my mood changes sometimes by the hour. But she has such a fun character - it just melts you. I became a father for the first time at 23, and I'm a father now at 50. That's when I gained a certain maturity and experience. Taking the family on tour - we don't do that with Rammstein as a matter of principle. That would be another experience. To what extent does your musical work with Emigrate affect Rammstein? In the past, it was completely separate. Now things are merging - and I think "War" would have fit Rammstein as well. A lot of ideas that come out on Rammstein now were Emigrate ideas - although I actually make sure that Emigrate sounds different. But, of course, you can't split yourself completely. But because there are also five other strong individuals in Rammstein, it's not that noticeable.

[salubriousbean]

I love kiwi birds *clenches fist* so much

Salutations and bonvenon! Thanks for dropping by, I am the salubrious bean. You can call me Bean or Sal or Sally or some other derivative of my username. I usually mostly type how I speak stuff irl. Also I am probably neurospicy ✨. My lucky number is 5 :)

Sometimes I declare things Salubrious and sometimes I forget I do that

"Let our hearts and hands be stretched out in compassion toward others, for everyone is walking his or her own difficult path." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I want this blog to be a safe space for everyone and I'll do my best to keep it that way! If something makes you uncomfortable please tell me and I will do my best to rectify it.

some links:

my pinterest account: https://pin.it/1NNV9VU3T

star wars rp blog with a clone trooper oc, go check it out! : @ct-7045 🫡

The 495th Division!

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Fandoms I am in (in no particular order):

STAR WARS

EPIC: The Musical

LOTR

about every Brandon Sanderson book

Urinetown the musical (I made a urinetown community!

Something Rotten!

Moon Knight

Bluey!

Curious George? (one of my fave childhood shows)

Gravity Falls

Ranger's Apprentice/Brotherband Chronicles

Carmen Sandiego (2019)

Wild Kratts

Octonauts

Amphibia

ATLA

The Princess Bride

Kim Possible

Roald Dahl books

Harry Potter (I don't support jk rowling but I grew up on hp so)

Pirates of the Caribbean

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (not the film, a production by a local high school that I'll never get to see again but it was life-changing in an amazing way)

HTTYD (although I've only seen the first two movies so far)

Septimus Heap (currently rereading!)

A Jump In Time series by Andrew Varga (PLEASE IF YOU KNOW THESE SEND ME AN ASK I LOVE THEM AND I CANT WAIT FOR BOOK 4)

other assorted fandoms

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If you're ever bored or need someone to talk to please feel free to send an ask (or several) or dm me! You can fr spam me with asks 'cause i love them, just keep 'em appropriate. Feel free to tag me in reblog/picrew/etc chains! I find those really fun <3

Do not follow me if you are a NSFW/porn blog. If you have mature content like that but also other stuff you can follow me, but please please tag that stuff.

A post/reblog chain I found if you're having a bad day: https://www.tumblr.com/fiddlepickdouglas/644601820180840448/in-case-anyone-is-having-a-bad-night?source=share

Other stuff under the cut so this post isn't too kriffing long:

Other information about me: music nerd, I play piano and double bass. I also dance but that doesn't mean I have balance lol. I'm in my third year of pointe. Also I like hoarding the cardboard tab thingies you rip off of tissue boxes (i have so many help /j). I also like trying to balance those Cadbury chocolate eggs so they're standing up.

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Languages I am currently learning: ASL (American Sign Language), Esperanto (on Duolingo), and Italian (also on Duolingo)

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✨MY PERSONAL TAGS✨ (I added colors bc I was bored) (they're all at the bottom of this post so you can click on them) (yea they are kinda redundant) (i just wanted tags that were uniquely mine) :

art: #salubriousbean art

writing: #salubriousbean writes

answering asks: #salubriousbean answers

posts I had in my queue: #salubriousbean queue (my queue is very random and extremely backed up oops)

polls: #salubriousbean poll

POSTS WITH MY ORIGINAL CHARACTERS WOOO: #salubriousbean oc

tags I might use again?:

music rambling: #salubriousbean talks about music

rambling posts about other stuff: #salubriousbean rambles

things I declare Salubrious (which in this case means I really really really love it): #IT HAS BEEN DECLARED SALUBRIOUS

25 followers: #salubriousbean 25 follower celebration

50 followers: #salubriousbean 50 follower celebration

talking about the Star Wars series The Acolyte: #salubriousbean talks about the Acolyte

What's In A Name? series (where I talk about why I gave my original characters their names)(yeah sorta pointless but idc): #what's in a name

posts I really relate to: #tis me

posts that aren't mine that I approve of: #salubriousbean approves 👍

posts where i draw myself: #salubriousbean self portrait

posts where I talk about the Star Wars show Skeleton Crew: #salubriousbean talks about skeleton crew

other/random: #salubriousbean random

Huh, pretty self-explanatory tags I guess, I'll try an tag all of the posts I make

I use star wars swears but not actual real life ones 👍 those might be in reblogs tho so sorry bout that

I'll edit this masterpost as needed.

God is good. May the Force be with you. Always.

[fipindustries]

my own take on the doctor

of course i toyed with very many different iterations on how i would like to write my own regeneration of the doctor, i have done everything from the manic to the somber, from the affable to the stern, from the artist to the scientist.

the most recent one that i actually got really invested in would be this: Jennyanydots the gumby cat, mixed with Minerva Mcgonogall and Mary Poppins, but the one from the books. The Mary that was a lot more serious and maybe even a bit menacing while still being a whimsical magical nanny.

we've had our fair share of manic, energetic, wacky doctors. and we've had our fair share of bombastic, larger than life passionate doctors giving these big poetic speeches about how heroic they are and what is the meaning of kindness and how much of a big damn hero they are.

here i would aim for a more pragmatical, phlegmatic doctor. one who lets the impact of her actions speak far louder than words. she would walk in, back straight, face calm into any battlefield and with devastating brilliance stop the entire conflict without so far as getting a spot on her clothes. this would be a doctor of precise, clear words. one who doesnt break frame and who is tightly in control of herself at all moments, who always knows how to follow protocol, wether it be the proper manners for drinking tea amongst airborn psychic cephalopods, how to properly land a ship careening into a colission course with the rings of a planet orbiting a neutron star or how to tie your shoelaces.

of course there would be place for fun and whimsy. She would be the kind of teacher who chides her students from misbehaving or pulling a prank but then couldnt help but let a cheeky vulpine grin slip into her face at the end because, fair enough, the prank was rather clever.

she would affect this really prim and proper attitude and yet an unexpected cuss or a completly deranged statement would come out of her, said with the most serious face ever. her humor would be as dry as paper, with which she would make a paper plane to fly over the enormous heads of those she is mocking.

she would show the wonders of the universe to her companions with the genuine love and passion for knowledge and learning as miss frizz or jane godall, if there is a moment where she has no compunction in getting her hands dirty it is when it comes to getting on her knees in the mud to enthusiastically teach someone about a really weird 4th dimensional fungus that only grows on the aurora borealis of planets.

of course her attitude doesnt stop her from being cosmopolitan and affable, she would have a kind genuine smile for every single person she meets wether they be a drunken brigand in the 16th century with a heart of gold or a creature made entirely out of slime, no person would be ever beneath her no matter their class, station, biology, identity or species. and she would try to instill this same attitude to her companions, for example

-please, do not stare dear, it is rather rude -but doctor! they have seven eyes! -well, dont let that make you self concious about your conspicious lack of eyes then

Her design

for the sake of diversity points, and also because i think it would look genuenly cool, i would go with a middle eastern woman in her 50's, with an air of math teacher, but also emphasizing her adventurous side.

couldnt decide between these two. maybe the fist but make her a bit less balenciaga hot, a little older, probably a little less "ethnically ambiguous" (thanks dalle-3). or the second with the hat of the first one and no hijab (it feels weird for the doctor to have like explicit religious attire, imagine seeing them with a crucifix)

if she wasnt french i would choose Laetittia Eido

sadly she's french so we would have to go with the closest birtish equivalent.

Her regeneration In

i would try to break tradition so that she regenerates before the third act of the current story. usually regenerations happen AFTER the mayor conflict has been dealt with and the bad guys defeated, in here i would have it so that she regenerates and then goes on to defeat the bad guys, with the previous doctor deliberatly pulling it as an ace up his sleeve, last ditch attempt or a last minute power up.

the way to make it clear who she is would be that, whilst the previous person regenerated spread eagle, arms in the air, she would immediatly snap into a more tight pose, then do a series of checks for eye sight, hearing, pulse, and hand eye coordination. (she is taking her sweet time to do this while explosions are going all around her) afterwards she shakes off the dust of her shoulders and says something along the lines of "well! now that that is quite done... back to bussines" and she goes on as if nothing happened.

if there is a companion nearby kicking up a fuss about how how strange this all is have her patiently but firmly explain this is all perfectly normal and no reason to make a big deal out of. if the companion or whoever insists that she used to be a man and now is a woman have her do some pithy comment like "i am a gallifrean, dear" or maybe "is not that much difference between one or the other, is it? although i suppose for you humans there is"

her overall arc

I like to think of each regeneration as saying something about the doctor as an overall character, each one's overall personality being an evolution or a response to what he did before. 9 as the weary, ptsd ridden man trying to process the recent war crimes in the time war, 10 as the man in the process of falling into denial and megalomania to cope with the guilt, 11 as the manchild who regressed in emotional maturity to be fully compartimentalized away from it all. then comes a break after going back to fix the time war and once he got rid of the guilt and the horror of having killed his entire race he is left confused, not knowing who he is any more, 12 is a way to take one final look back at who he used to be (the fact the he is back to a classic who look, a cranky old man with a stern look) whilst figuring out who he wants to be moving forward. and then 13 was her exploring new ground, reinventing herself, starting fresh. (although ill admit, i am not really familiar with jodie wittaker's tenure as a doctor of if this holds any water through out her series).

in an individual sense, her arc would be about going from a hypercompetent hardass, who uses her expertise and intelect to be a bit aloof and keep people at arms length because deep down she is afraid that if she is not perfect and in control at all times then the horrors happen, companions are left to die or worse and civilizations fall. and turning into someone who can relax a bit, who can trust others to handle things on their own, who can relax and not have to be in perfect form at all times.

within the larger context of the series i would like her to be in some sense a return to basics, her going back to the original formula, to what has proven to work in the past. is in many ways the doctor struggling to find comfort in old habits but eventually learning that she can move past them. i will leave it open to whoever comes next to decide what they want to do with the doctor afterwards.

her bowing out

i would have her regeneration being finally the one moment of big sentimentality in her series.

she is with her companions, in fact i would have her be surrounded by a multitude of people she just sacrificed for, many of them the friends and allies she made through the series.

i would have her try to keep her cool at first, put on a brave face for her friends but then deciding that its ok, for once to be vulnerable and allowing herself to break into tears ("i must confess... i am rather afraid of this whole process, i always am, and i always try to face it with a brave face but... maybe for once...i just wish it werent so") and the multitude of people she saved console her and reassure her that she did great and that she will be fine. for extra schmaltz i would have an orchestral rendition of "for she's a darling good fellow" play in the background. one final teary smile from her by seeing all this support, maybe even an actual bow or a curtsy and then finally letting go by saying "thank you my dears"(*), cue regeneration.

(*) yes, this is in fact a reference to the musical cats, fucking sue me.