#also this is obviously MY opinion of things i'm not saying this is *exactly* the case but it's how i see it

[incognit0slut]

was i stupid to love you?

in which a lingering glance at Rossi’s wedding threatens your engagement.

content: angst, 4.8k, takes place right after truth or dare (14x15), a lot of dialogue, mention of prison arc, emotional distress, relationship conflict, not proofread a/n: when was the last time you saw me write angst? exactly. this is inspired by malcolm & marie bc i really like the idea of having an argument while moving around the house (also disclaimer i have nothing against JJ i just like being dramatic)

The lock clicks open. The door swings with a creak. Your heels tap against the hardwood in a hollow rhythm that feels almost too loud. There’s a tightness in your chest, that prickling behind your eyes, and a familiar ache pressing up from the pit of your stomach, churning into a faint nausea that you try to ignore. You’re trying to hold it back.

Not here.

Not now.

Spencer doesn’t even look up. The keys slip from his hand with a soft clink as they hit the side table, and he turns away with a quiet sigh that reverberates deep in your bones.

“Are you hungry?” he asks, tossing a glance toward the kitchen. “Think we could order something?”

You trail after him, the sharp click of your heels echoing as you step onto the kitchen tile. “We just came back from a wedding.”

He’s rifling through the cupboard, his fingers brushing over the mismatched mugs and neatly stacked plates before he pulls down two glasses. “I barely ate anything at the reception.”

You watch him, biting back a response as memories flicker to mind. The slice of cake he’d poked at absentmindedly, washing it down with sips of water instead of real food.

It wasn’t hunger he seemed focused on tonight. No, it was his quiet glances across the room you keep on catching from the corner of your eye, and that conversation he’d had at the bar. The one where his posture softened, his gaze so intent you’d found yourself staring at the back of his head, trying not to read too much into it—and obviously failing.

“Why didn’t you eat?”

He shrugs, his back still to you as he fills the glasses with water. “I don’t know,” he says, sounding almost absent, like it’s something he hasn’t really thought about. “I didn’t get around to it, I guess.”

The muscles in your jaw ticks as you bite the inside of your cheeks.

Spencer turns, offering you a glass. “I was thinking of Chinese, or maybe we can check if that Thai place you like is still open.”

You take the glass from him, barely sparing it a glance before setting it back down on the counter. “Whatever you want is fine.”

A subtle crease appears between his brows. “You sure? You usually have some opinion when it comes to food.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You don’t want to eat anything?”

You suppress a sigh. "No. I'm tired."

The soft amber of his eyes dims slightly as he studies you. There's a flicker of uncertainty passing through them before he nods. “Alright,” he concedes. “We don’t have to order anything.”

A faint, humorless laugh escapes you before you can stop it. It tastes bitter, a little unfair, but it slips out before you can pull it back, “You don’t have to change your plans on my account, Spencer.”

“I’m not changing any plans,” he responds. “I’m just making sure you have something to eat in case you’re hungry.”

Your shoes dig uncomfortably into your feet. You shift your weight, starting to pace a few steps back and forth. "It's dinner, you don't have to check on me for every little thing. Do whatever you like."

He blinks, looking genuinely perplexed. "What are you saying? I was trying to be considerate."

"Right. Considerate.”

There’s an unmistakable bite in your tone.

“Yes, because we like doing these things together," he observes, watching your uneasy pacing. "Am I missing something here?”

You shake your head. “Nope.”

"Honey."

The term of endearment lands softly, slipping from his lips like he believes it has the power to melt whatever tension has suddenly crept between you. But it only tightens the knot building in your stomach. It’s stirring the words you’re trying to hold back, tangling them somewhere between your chest and throat.

He calls your name this time, his eyes narrowing into sharp lines. “You’ve been awfully quiet on our way home, and now you’re… honestly, I don’t know why you're acting this way.” His voice dips with a tinge of exasperation. "What’s this really about?"

The words you’ve been biting back feel like a stack of stones in your throat, rising up, up, up, each one pressed tighter by the gnawing nausea in your stomach. You can feel them gathering, and before you know it, they tumble out messily.

“I’m just saying, don’t let me hold you back from getting what you want. I wouldn’t want to stop you from anything—or, god forbid," you add, letting your gaze drift away as if a little distance might soften the blow, “anyone.”

The soft, almost stifled inhale he takes is audible. You don’t even have to look up to see his expression shifting. You’ve known him long enough to recognize the way his shoulders tense, the way his breathing slows as he processes your words. You know his reaction by heart, yet right now, you wonder if saying this was a mistake, if this is the start of something neither of you can take back.

His fingers twitching at his side slip into your line of sight. He's angry.

Maybe this isn’t the time to start a fight.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Your heels click softly as you turn.

“Forget it. I shouldn't have said anything,” you mutter, already moving toward the bedroom that’s been yours, too, for the past year. Although it feels strange tonight, like a space that belongs to someone else. A life you’re not entirely sure you belong in.

“No." His voice is somewhere behind you. “I think you should explain to me what you mean by that.”

You don’t respond, choosing instead to sink onto the edge of the bed, hands fumbling as you try to undo the straps of your heels. You twist the stubborn leather with more force. His shadow fills the doorway.

“Honey.”

Not again.

You decide to ignore him.

“Is there something you’d like to say to me?”

You tug harder at the strap. “No.”

He doesn’t buy it. “You’re clearly bothered by something.”

You shake your head, fingers still fumbling, the leather cutting against your ankle with each pull. “I’m just tired. Can we leave it at that?”

There’s a flicker of frustration in his gaze now, a crease forming between his brows as he studies you. He moves into the room. You barely have the chance to react before he lowers himself, bending one knee to the floor as he reaches toward the strap you’ve been fighting with. “Here, let me—”

“Don’t,” you interrupt, pulling your foot away. “I can do it myself.”

“I know you can. But let me—”

“I can do it myself!”

Your heartbeat thuds loud in your ears, each pulse feeding the frustration that’s wound its way up from your chest. He rises slowly, not a word passing his lips, but the tension radiates off him like heat. He’s close enough that his warmth presses against your skin, although it’s not the kind you usually find comforting. It’s almost suffocating.

You turn your focus back to the stubborn strap, your fingers trembling slightly as you struggle to grip it. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch him slipping off his shoes, one after the other, the soft thuds barely audible over the rush of your own heartbeat. He pulls off his suit jacket, carefully smoothing the crumpled fabric before hanging it in the closet. For a moment, it seems like he’s going to let it go… until his gaze drifts back to you.

You can tell his patience is fraying, and you’re proven right when he asks again, “What did you mean by that? When you said you wouldn’t want to stop me from anyone… what was that supposed to mean?”

You finally manage to tug the strap loose. The heel drops to the floor with a muted thump. “It was nothing.”

“I don’t think you’d say something like that if it was nothing.”

Your focus shifts to the other shoe. “Just drop it, Spencer.”

"How am I supposed to drop it when you're implying... whatever it is you're implying?"

You keep your eyes down, wrestling with the strap in silence. He cuts through the quiet before it has a chance to grow.

“Don’t do that,” he says. “Don’t brush it off like it’s nothing when it clearly means something. I need to know why you said that.”

You kick off the other heel and meet his gaze for the first time since you walked into the room. “You really want to know?”

He reaches for his bow tie, yanking it loose it with one hard pull. “Do I want to know why you’re giving me this attitude right now? Yes. Yes, I do.”

Oh. So this is going to be that kind of fight.

You hadn’t expected it to go here. Fights with Spencer are very rare, usually more a clash of misunderstandings that you both laugh about with limbs tangled between sheets by the time you’ve made peace. But seeing him standing there with the tie hanging loosely around his neck and his five o’clock shadow casting an even darker line along his jaw, it hits you differently.

This is real. And this time, you don’t know if brushing it off will fix anything.

“Fine, let’s talk about it then.” You rise from the bed, tension carrying you to your feet. “Emily’s speech tonight.”

His brow furrows, not quite a scowl, more a cautious crease as he processes your tone. “Emily’s speech? What about it?”

“What do you remember of it?”

There’s a slight pause, and you can tell he's clearly caught off guard by the question. “She mentioned how Rossi and Krystal are twin flames."

“Right. Two souls that are always meant to be together.”

His face is still marked by confusion, but there’s something else creeping in. A subtle tightening around his eyes tells you he’s starting to piece it together. “I don’t understand what that has to do with—”

“You looked at JJ the second Emily made that speech,” you cut him off. “Spencer, you didn’t even spare a glance at your future wife because you were too busy making eyes at the woman who’s apparently been in love with you all these years.”

There. You said it. The words that have twisted around your insides all evening are finally out. And maybe they taste a little bitter, but at least they're not choking you anymore.

A second passes, then another, and by the time the fifth heartbeat ticks by, he’s standing there with his hand on his hip.

“That’s not what happened."

“Then what was it?” you demand. "I sat beside you the whole day, you didn't even try to hide it."

“That’s not—you’re twisting things.” His hand moves through his hair, fingers digging in as his curls tumble forward onto his forehead. “And you know what happened that night wasn’t real. It was a forced confession. She was under duress, we both were. JJ and I are just friends.”

You arch an eyebrow. “You look at all your friends like that?”

His hand drops to his side. "I don't know what else you want me to say. JJ said what she did because she thought we might die. She has a family, and a husband who she loves. We already went through this, I don't understand why this is suddenly an issue again."

“Maybe I wouldn’t be bringing this up if you didn’t look at her tonight like you were ready to break up that marriage yourself.”

A flash of shock and anger crosses his features.

“That’s not fair,” he snaps, his voice sharper than you’ve heard in a while. “Do you really think I’d disregard everything I have with you because of a look? Because of a history that has never gone anywhere?”

“I don’t know what to think. It's not like it happened just once, I saw you looking at her the same way at the bar." You step forward, accidentally kicking your discarded heel as you move. "What were you two talking about, anyway?”

He lets out a tight breath. “She was checking in on me. She… we haven’t talked much since then.”

The corners of your mouth pull down. “Mhm. Another round of truth or dare?”

“I can’t believe you’re using that against me." His hair flops forward as he shakes his head, falling messily over his brow. "If there were anything unresolved with JJ, I would’ve said something. But I didn’t, because there’s nothing there."

“And yet, she’s always been an important part of your life, hasn't she?"

He tilts his head. "What are trying to say now?"

Your tongue darts out, briefly brushing your lips. You're not sure you should say it, but it feels like a door has swung open—a door to words that have been waiting for their moment.

You take a slow, deep breath, filling your lungs with as much air as you can.

“When you were in prison, you put her on your visiting list ahead of almost everyone else. Doesn’t that say something about where she stands with you?”

He exhales sharply, dragging a hand over the back of his neck.

“She’s part of the team,” he says, as if he’s trying to spell out something he’s already explained a dozen times. "There were strict rules, I already told you that only a handful of people were allowed to visit. It wasn’t like I could just put anyone on the list.”

“But you could’ve put me on there!”

The familiar burn of tears prickles at the edges of your eyes, but you blink them back, refusing to let them fall. An explanation or protest is poised on his lips, but you’re already moving, closing the distance with a single, decisive step. A finger lands on his chest.

“I was your girlfriend, Spencer. Were you that determined to keep me out? Was the thought of seeing me really so unbearable? Do you even understand how hard it was to sit at home, knowing you were locked up, feeling completely helpless? Do you have any idea how much I hated myself day after day because I couldn’t do anything to help you?”

Your lips quiver. You feel like your heart is about to leap out of your throat.

“I was out here, just… waiting. Wondering if you were okay, if they were treating you alright, if you even had someone to talk to. And meanwhile, she’s there, with you. Every single time, she’s the one who gets to be by your side.”

Your nail digs into the fabric of his shirt.

“So forgive me if I can’t just let that go. Because when it mattered, it felt like you didn’t want me to be there for you. And now… now I don’t even know if you need me the way you seem to need her.”

Your breathing turns shallow, each inhale catching in your chest. The tears you’ve been holding back are dangerously blurring your vision. You swallow the knot lodged in your throat.

“I need a minute.”

Without another word, you turn and walk out of the room, leaving him standing there in stunned silence. You slip back into the kitchen, leaning against the counter as you finally reach for the glass of water that’s been sitting there untouched. You take a sip, barely feeling the cool water on your lips, when you hear his footsteps behind you.

“You think I don’t want you in my life?” he demands. “You think I somehow need her more than I need you?”

You set the glass down. “What part of ‘I need a minute’ do you not understand?”

“You really expect me to wait quietly after you unloaded every doubt you’ve ever had about us?”

You life your chin up. “Yes, I do. I need space to think right now.”

“What more do you want to think about when you’ve already convinced yourself that I’m always going to fall short? Is it so hard to believe that you’re the one I want?”

“You want to know why it’s so damn hard to believe?” You turn towards him. “Because every time I try to let this go, there’s always something. A confession. That—that not-so-subtle look. And when those things happen, it reminds me that I’m not as close to you as she is. I’m fucking tired of feeling like I’m fighting for space in your life.”

“Do you think I want you to feel like that? Do you think I’d go through everything we’ve been through if you didn’t matter to me?”

“Then explain to me why I wasn’t on that list!” you cry out. “Explain to me why, in one of the hardest times of your life, you couldn’t make space for me?”

“Because I was trying to protect you!”

A heavy, dreadful silence falls between you. He takes a step back, his eyelids fluttering shut briefly, and when he opens them again, there’s a softness in his gaze that mirrors the gentleness now threading through his voice.

“I know it probably doesn’t make sense to you, and maybe it never will, but I couldn’t stand the idea of you seeing me like that. Living through it was hard enough, but having you there, seeing me so helpless… It would have crushed me. I didn’t want that to be your memory of me.”

His Adam’s apple dips as he swallows, a quick, almost anxious movement you’ve witnessed countless times.

“And when JJ came to see me,” he continues, “the way the inmates looked at her, the things they said after she left… it was disgusting. I couldn’t—wouldn’t—let that happen to you. I couldn’t live with thought of you being subjected to that because of me.”

You lower your head with a sigh. “I don’t care if they looked. I don’t care what they would’ve thought.”

“But I care,” he fires back, taking a step forward. “Because you mean more to me than anyone. All I wanted was to keep you safe, and maybe I didn't handle it right, maybe I made the wrong call... but it was only because I—" His voice drops into an even more gentle note. "Because I love you."

Your heart stumbles, an uneven beat that feels almost bruised, pounding hard against your ribs.

"I-I love you so much. More than I know how to put into words." The ache in your chest sharpens as his hands come up to cup your cheeks. "I don't like fighting with you. I hate it, actually. I hate seeing you look at me like this."

You also hate the way he’s looking at you. There’s a depth to his annoyingly pretty eyes that makes it impossible to hold up your defenses without feeling them crumble. You let your eyes flutter closed.

“Why don’t we… call it a night?” He suggests. “Let’s lie down. We don’t have to talk about this now.”

The blackness behind your eyelids does little to quiet your mind. Nor does his voice. Or his touch. Instead of offering peace, his presence throws every glance, every moment of tension from tonight into sharper relief.

You draw in a breath, trying to find some comfort in his palms against your cheeks. Yet, even this can’t smooth away the doubt that’s settled in. With a resigned sigh, you release the breath you’ve been holding along with the words that have been pressing at the back of your throat.

“You haven’t explained it to me.”

The shadows in his gaze seem to deepen when you open your eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve been going in circles, but you haven’t explained to me what happened tonight,” you say quietly. “Why did you look at her, Spencer?”

His thumb absently strokes your cheek in a way that feels more hesitant than reassuring.

“Be honest with me,” you press. “Was there a part of you, even the tiniest part, that still wanted something with her? Some small part of you that… wondered what it might be like?”

The silence between you presses in from all sides, broken only by the faint hum of the refrigerator and the distant, muffled ticking of a clock on the wall. It’s the kind of quiet that sharpens even the smallest sounds, yet his lack of response feels like the loudest thing of all.

You pull back from him with an incredulous laugh.

“Unbelievable.” The word barely makes it past your lips, then louder as you start to move, pacing the length of the apartment. “Unbelievable.”

“Wait,” he says, trailing after you, “I didn’t even say anything.”

You stop short by the couch and whip around to face him.

“You didn’t need to! You—you hesitated," you stammer, searching his face for any flicker of denial, but it’s there, plain as day, that split-second of doubt you caught. “That was already an answer.”

He inches closer. A hand closes in on you. “Please—”

You flinch, pulling back, and every muscle in your body tightens. “Don’t. Don’t touch me right now.”

His hand falls to his side. “Please… let me explain."

You watch his hand drop, fingers twitching like they’re not sure if they should retreat or reach out again, but he keeps them there, hovering in some invisible line you’ve drawn. He looks at you with those big, pleading eyes, and for a split second, you almost feel bad for him.

Almost.

A bitter sort of smile tugs at the corner of your mouth. "So now you want to explain?"

He takes that as permission, and his voice comes in low, almost cautious. "When I first started at the BAU, I had… maybe a crush. A passing thing, barely anything, really. But that was fourteen years ago.” His hand scrubs through his hair in a frustrated sweep. “Fourteen years."

Your brows pull into a frown. “Why am I only hearing about this now?”

“Because it was nothing,” he says, almost too quickly. “I was young, it didn’t matter. I didn’t think it was worth bringing up.”

“Oh, I get it now. All those old feelings came rushing back the night she confessed, didn’t they?”

He mirrors your frown, a visible line of tension etching itself between his brows as he protests, “It’s nothing like that.”

“Then what is it?” you press. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks a whole lot like you’re caught between us because some part of you is still hung up on what might’ve been with her."

He shifts uncomfortably, and you notice the muscles in his jaw clenching the moment his gaze falters, dipping away for just a heartbeat before he looks back at you.

“It’s not that I don’t know what I want,” he starts to explain. “I didn’t expect her to say those things, and, yes, it threw me off for a moment. But that doesn’t mean I’m looking back, or that I want her. I want you.”

You shake your head, feeling a tired sort of frustration settle over you, and walk over to the couch. The soft cushions give slightly beneath you as you sink down.

“If you really wanted me, this wouldn’t be happening. You wouldn’t have let her get into your head like that. And now, you expect to believe that none of it meant anything?”

He’s quick to follow, closing the distance in a few tense steps. “It’s not—” His hands flex open and close at his sides. “You’re acting like one single look tonight is enough to decide I’m not committed to you. Do you really think I’d let some confession I didn’t even ask for get in the way of what we have?”

“It’s not just about that single look. It’s the way she could say something and suddenly, you’re pulled back to something you swore you’d put behind you. How am I supposed to feel secure when she still has that power over you?”

“And what am I supposed to do, then? Apologize for things I don’t even feel anymore?”

You flinch at the sharpness in his voice. A low, frustrated noise rumbles in his chest when you don’t respond.

“You’re always going to question me no matter what I say, aren’t you?"

You glance over at him, catching the disheveled strands of hair falling over his forehead, and it pulls you back to that night he came home after that dreadful night. He’d walked in looking worn in a way you’d never seen before, his whole posture weighted down as if he was carrying more than just the fear of being held hostage.

You remember sitting with him on this same couch, fingers brushing his, and asking what was bothering him.

JJ said she loved me.

Your heart lurched, a quick, quiet ache that you tried to swallow down. Really?

Don’t worry. It’s not true.

But with that same haunted look in his eyes right now, you can’t help but wonder if it really was just a well-intentioned lie.

“One glance and you’re accusing me of things that are never going to happen,” he starts again. “Do you really think so little of me? After everything we’ve shared, you really think I’d betray you like that?”

In true honesty, you don’t believe he would ever cross that line. But the doubts still linger, fed by those small hesitations, the moments when his eyes seem somewhere else. It’s not that you think he’d betray you. It’s that a part of him might still be holding onto something he won’t let you see.

“It’s like you don’t know me at all.”

Now those words you might actually believe.

“Maybe I don’t,” you say quietly, eyes drifting to the ring on your finger. You twist it absently, remembering the night he proposed. How he’d stumbled over his words, his cheeks flushing as he tried to make the moment perfect but ended up rambling in that endearing, nervous way of his. You’d laughed, reassured him that it was exactly right, that you didn’t need grand gestures. All you needed was him.

And yet, you don’t think he needs you as much you need him.

A hollow ache settles around your hand as you slip the ring off.

“What are you doing?”

You stare down at the gold band in your palm, blinking back the sting of tears.

“Tell me what you’re doing.”

Panic. Desperation. There’s a sudden rush of melancholy in his voice, a heaviness that wasn’t there a moment ago.

You swallow the lump in your throat. “I don’t know,” you whisper. “I—I don’t know anything right now.”

His face crumples, and in a sudden, almost instinctive movement, he drops down to his knees.

“No, no, you do know me. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. Isn’t this—” he stops, then dips his head, trying to catch your gaze. “Isn’t that what couples do? They argue, they mess things up… but they work through it, right? Right?”

You look down, feeling the cool weight of the ring pressing into your skin.

“Spencer…” you begin. “I trust you. I do, and I’m sorry if I made it seem like I didn’t. But… I need to feel secure. I… I need to know that I don’t have to wonder or worry about where I stand. I never thought you’d be the one to make me doubt that.”

There’s a sharp ache in your chest.

“I didn’t think it could hurt this much. Not from you.”

Your pulse ring in your ear.

“I can’t—” The words catch in your throat, a stinging burn rising as you force them out. “I can’t be your wife when I’m constantly questioning if I have all of you. When I feel like… there’s always a part of you that isn’t mine.”

“I’m yours, honey. I’m always yours.”

“I wish I could believe that.”

There’s a slight falter in his voice. “Don’t—please don’t do this—”

“I can’t keep pretending it doesn’t hurt.”

He falls silent, and for a moment, the only sound is the rough, uneven rhythm of both your breaths filling the space between you. Then, like something inside him finally cracks open, he sinks down, pressing his forehead against your lap. The sudden weight of him forces a broken sob from your throat.

“Please,” he begs, fingers clutching at your sides. His chin presses deep into your thigh. “Tell me how to fix this. I can’t— I can’t lose you.”

“Spence…”

“I love you,” he blurts out, the words tumbling from him in a rush. “I love you.”

But what is love, really? Is it just a word people reach for when they’ve run out of things to say, a way to patch over bruised hearts and broken promises? Or should it feel like something more solid, something that doesn’t leave you questioning or aching? You can’t even tell anymore.

You wonder, too, if maybe you’ve been wrong all along. If this feeling in your chest isn’t love but something dressed up as it, something that fills the gaps while slowly hollowing you out. Because here you are, clinging to a love that somehow makes you feel like you’re both needed and unseen. Everything and nothing all at once.

You feel like a fool.

“I want to go to bed.”

His head lifts from your lap, a flash of surprise darting across his face, as though he hadn’t expected you to say anything at all, let alone that. “Yeah, okay, let’s go to bed. We’ll… we’ll figure this out in the morning.”

“I’d rather be alone.”

The words hit him visibly. His mouth opens, an argument forming there, but he catches himself, letting the silence stretch before he nods slowly.

“Then… I’ll stay out here. On the couch,” he offers softly. “Just… in case you need anything.”

A pang cuts through you at the thought of him stretched out on the couch, his legs too long, his shoulders folded in to fit the cramped space. But the idea of sharing a bed right now feels impossible.

You reach down, holding out the ring towards him.

“No,” he says firmly, gently pushing your hand away. “Don’t do that. This… it doesn’t mean we’re giving up. It just means we need time. That’s all.”

You’re not sure if your mind will change in the morning. The ring presses into your skin, but finally, you close your hand around it, nodding faintly before you peel away from him.

The tears start the moment the bedroom door clicks shut behind you. It spills over in a jagged, helpless cry that sounds nothing like you imagined heartbreak might sound. It’s messy, a kind of aching grief that feels too big for your chest, clawing its way out with no grace at all. You can practically hear how pathetic you sound, and yet you can’t seem to stop.

Even when the hem of your dress trails across the floor. Even when you finally collapse onto his side of the bed. There’s no stopping you. With the ring sitting cold in your hand, your tears keep coming, soaking into the pillow as you cling to the last trace of him woven into the sheets.

[narcjsistx]

𝐕𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐇𝐂𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐀 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 | reo, isagi, kaiser (part one)

𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ; take a look, trust me!

— reo mikage

✶ don't even remotely expect to lift a finger in his presence. the princess treatment in his relationships is MANDATORY, he simply loves to do the things that the people he loves want. it would be something like "I know you can do it, but I'm your boyfriend, so let me do it for you"

✶ I think one of the things he loves most about his partners is when they are dressed in shades of purple or maaaybe white, in clothes given by him. do you want to bring him to his knees? do as I tell you, trust me!

✶ kind of guy who would post you everywhere, like: his ig profile feed is made up of 80% of posts with you or dedicated to you, the remaining 20% ​​are photos relating to soccer. he loves to show you off, and above all he does all those trends (even the cringe ones) like posting your girlfriend with a certain song on a certain day

what would he post on socials ↓

✶ his concept of family is quite normal, sooner or later he would like to have a family, actually, the idea of ​​getting married has never displeased him. as a child, being the only heir of the Mikage, he had to bear all the expectations alone... therefore, his idea would be to at least have two children, not that he wants to share the expectations between them! simply as a child he suffered a lot from being the only child

✶ jealosy level: 4/10 (he's not the jealous type! he might only be more so in cases where he sees someone trying with you EXTREMELY too hard)

✶ flirtiness level: 6/10

✶ pet names: "babe" / "precious"

—————————————

— isagi yoichi

✶ even though on the field he seems to have bipolar disorder, isagi is literally one of the most possibily boyfriend in the entire verse in my opinion. he's just a chill guy who takes soccer a little too seriously, but hey, you love him for that reason right? yeah, absolutely yes

✶ he's someone who would be embarrassed by a kiss even after years and years of being in a relationship. at the beginning of your story, he had to take a lot of his courage just to ask you if he could hold your hand, but over time he got used to it. with kisses, well... he still gets embarrassed, even though he's often the one who initiates them. he's just a sweet coward in this things

✶ he is someone who, in my mind, cares a lot about gifts related to the phases of the relationship, such as those for the first month together, the six months and so on. not huge gifts, he keeps those more for more important dates, but gifts like letters, stuffed animals or bracelets found at random moments of the day and which immediately reminded him of you for some reason that only he knows

what would he post on socials ↓

✶ his concept of family is actually based a lot on what he had. he doesn't exactly have a preference on the number of children, one or five would be fine, he just knows that he will love them no matter what. getting married has never been a thought he's actually spent 5 minutes thinking about every now and then, but now with you he's pretty sure that asking you to spend your life with him is a great excuse to see you in the white dress

✶ jealosy level: 2/10

✶ flirtiness level: 3/10 (more in private, but absolutely not in public, he just can't do it)

✶ pet names: "cutie" / "y/n chan"

—————————————

— micheal kaiser

✶ your relationship is certainly interesting, maybe not one of the healthiest, but you can't say you don't care for each other. Kaiser definitely has some problems related to trusting or in any case "letting himself be discovered" by other people, but surely you are the closest person to him at the moment, hell, you are literally the emperor's girlfriend!. micheal knows very well that he is not a simple person and just the fact that you continue to not let him go, and he wouldn't blame you, means a lot. will he ever admit it? no, obviously not, because he also has a problem, or perhaps more than one, with expressing himself

✶ Ness, one way or another, will have to worship you too. Ness probably just wants to strangle you because you stole the little attention Kaiser gave him, but if Kaiser says he has to worship you like he would him, Ness will do it without a word. Kaiser doesn't even minimally accept someone saying anything remotely comparable to an insult to you, let's say his love language is to protect your respect. he wouldn't mind throwing a punch at someone who even called you "stupid", it's something he can't stand

✶ even if you are not cheering for him at the stadium when he plays, which is quite strange because you are there all the time, you already know beforehand that if he scores a goal, it will obviously be dedicated to you. it's something he always found beautiful when he was little, when he saw videos on public screens in Berlin: seeing then-famous footballers dedicate goals to their girlfriends seemed so exciting. he's the emperor now, right? he must repay his empress somehow for always being so good to him

what would he post on socials ↓

✶ well, we all know that Micheal didn't grow up with any concept of family, or rather, he never actually had one. having children actually scares him, and the same thing happens even if he just thinks about getting married. he is simply afraid, and indeed he is sure, that sooner or later everything would turn into what he experienced in Germany with his father. it would take a LOT of reassurance, and maybe therapy, to eventually have children and get married. he actually wouldn't be a bad father, because he knows what it's like to live in a toxic house with someone who doesn't really love you, and he doesn't want his heir to go through the same thing he went through when was a kid. Kaiser is not like his father, and never will be, and just the thought of being like this with his kids makes him vomit

✶ jealosy level: 8/10

✶ flirtiness level: 9/10

✶ pet names: "schatz" / "mein liebling" / "doll"

[matryosika]

Recording Sessions

Pairing — 3racha and Reader

Wordcount — 3,485 words

Genre — Smut

Warnings — Dom!Chan and Changbin, Switch(sub lean)!Jisung, consensual voice recording. Dirty talk, use of petnames (slut), mild humiliation, oral sex (m. receiving), brief spanking, unprotected penetrative sex, creampie, mild cum play, sex in a recording booth.

Autor's note — Wrote this a while ago for a commission, but as I was lurking through my google drive I found this again. I think its fun and I've been meaning to post something for a while now, but I can't get anything done sadly. I think I wrote this back in may or june? I am not too sure, but I hope you like it! I've been writing for NCT these days and I have 2 wips for them. I'm also working on something with Lee Know as a character. I hope I can get any of that finished soon! Hope you enjoy this, and I apologize for any grammar/spelling mistakes in advance 🤍

“Do any of you even know what a real moan sounds like?”

The look on their faces is amusing. Hadn't you been inside the recording booth, you're sure Changbin would have already headlocked you in a playful manner for running your mouth. 

But you are inside the recording booth, the three of them sitting in the studio with frustration written all over their faces.

“This sounds so fake,” you continue, taking off the headset. “What did you type in youtube to get this sample? Women moaning ASMR?”

“You’re not being helpful at all, you know that?” Changbin asks, trying to keep a serious demeanor but failing almost miserably every time he remembers the audio samples that are currently as background vocals in their upcoming song. They do sound awful, but he isn't as straight-forward as you are.

“Well, you asked for my opinion and I’m giving it to you,” the smug look on your face pisses off Chan just a little, but it is nothing new —the endless bickering between the both of you has happened ever since you two met. It's always light-hearted and friendly, but it surely does bring some tension into your friendship with him.

“Any ideas on how we can improve this?” 

“For once, get rid of all the fake moaning and get something that actually sounds like a woman being pleasured,” you instruct them, and smile when you see the three of them paying attention to your words. They have such abilities when it comes to music and producing, but they often look for constructive criticism outside their small group of three just to see things from different perspectives. “We don’t sound like that, it’s more like gasping for air and deep sighs accompanied with mostly quiet moans. This sounds like someone shouting exaggeratedly”.

“I’ve tried,” Chan murmurs, leaning back on his studio chair that he spins slightly. “But nothing sounds right. It’s a bit too much, maybe”.

“No, I do think the song calls for background sounds like these,” you encourage the trio. “It’s just- you need something more raw and real”.

There’s a quick moment of silence in which the four of you exchange glances, without exactly saying anything in particular.

Changbin and Chan look too deep into their own thoughts, probably trying to come up with another idea or alternative for that sound sample you all hate so much. Jisung, on the other hand, is staring right into you through the glass barrier that separates you from them, with an idea in mind he’s not quite sure how to deliver, but that he ends up doing it anyway. 

“What if we record you?” Jisung asks, drawing the scowling glances of the other two. “I mean, you can obviously fake them since you're a woman, right?” 

The suggestion has you cackling quietly, but even Chan and Changbin are considering it —you can tell by how they're looking at you as if they're expecting your verdict.

“Right,” you scoff, crossing both of your arms in front of your chest, “because what better way to spend my Saturday afternoon than faking moans inside a recording booth”. 

“It’s not going to take you long,” It’s Chan who speaks this time. The one you thought was going to be the least to be on board with such a crazy idea. “We all know this isn’t going to be the first time you fake them”. 

Your mouth opens in awe and you curse them mentally when they all laugh under their breaths. It was just one time, with a guy you didn’t even like, and you told them about it because you wanted to get the embarrassing memory out of your system. You were too bored, and desperate to go, that you ended up faking a series of moans that tricked him into thinking you were finished. 

“Very funny, Christopher,” you spit, resentful. “I thought you promised not to bring that shit up, ever again”.

“And I thought you promised you’d help us,” Chan attacks, “so what is it going to be?”

You look at them for a couple of seconds, pondering the situation. You can help them, you really have nothing better to do —yet a better idea comes to mind. 

“Why faking it if you can have the real deal?” you ask, nibbling at the skin against your fingernails. You’re trying to appear collected, but even suggesting such a crazy idea it’s making you feel uneasy. Unless you've gotten the signals wrong, you know they won't turn down such a proposal. “You’re all just sitting there, when one of you could help me”.

It’s Jisung who leans down over the console, clicking a red button to open the microphone.

“What exactly are you proposing?”

“Well, you were the one who pinned this on me, Han,” judging by their facial expressions, you know they understood exactly what you meant. They just want to make sure you are all on the same page. “Why don’t you come here and help me, so we can get this over with?”

“Why him?” Changbin immediately asks, offended even because you didn't consider him as your first option.

“Do you want to help me too?” you chuckle, “because I wouldn’t mind if you joined”.

“Han,” Chan’s cold voice interrupts the silence, catching the attention of the younger. He doesn’t say anything else, but rather signals for him to get inside the recording booth with a tilt of his head.

Jisung doesn’t say anything either, but his eyes flutter between you and Chan, almost begging for further instructions. He hesitates, perplexed. Not because he doesn’t want this, but because he really can’t begin to comprehend this is really happening.

“If you don’t want to, Changbin can do it,” the older speaks again.

“N-no, I mean- I can do it,” Jisung stands up from his studio chair abruptly and hastily, like he is in a rush. To be honest, he kind of is —he has been daydreaming of this moment ever since he met you, so he isn't going to waste it. Even if that means there are going to be other people watching or involved. “I just- what do I do?”

Chan and Changbin scoff quietly, teasing him. “You should ask her that question,” the former replies, crossing both of his arms and leaning back on his chair, “not us”.

“Yeah, okay”. 

Jisung walks inside the booth, swallowing thickly. Is he really about to do this? Is he dreaming? Or is this some sort of a sick joke?

He can’t help but overthink the situation, but every single one of his thoughts goes away when you welcome him into your embrace, holding him tightly against your body with his half-hard cock pressing against your lower abdomen and your tits against his toned chest. The other two are watching, and that only riles him up a lot more.

“Have you ever been this shy?” You tease him, wrapping your arms around his neck and brushing your lips against his. “You’re always so cocky, always running your mouth. But right now you aren’t. I wonder why”. 

“We don’t have that much time,” Chan warns you through the speakers, and you can feel the despair in his voice. Like Changbin, he’s anticipating something and you’re edging them, just like you are to Jisung. 

“Then I’m going to need more help,” you hum, latching your fingers against Jisung’s dark hair while pulling him closer to the crook of your neck. He loses no time and starts kissing and licking the sensitive flesh, hiding his face there. You, on the other hand, look through the glass barrier proudly to the other two who are out. “From the both of you”. 

“One isn’t enough for you? Do you need the three of us?” Chan asks, poking his cheek with his tongue. Changbin, on the other hand, observes the scene in awe, with both excitement and impatience. You don't reply, but shoot an accomplice glance at the older. “I always knew you were some of a slut, I just didn’t think this much”.

“Well, now you know,” you smile, biting your lower lip when Jisung sucks on a sensitive spot a bit too harshly, “so start recording”. 

The following moments are blurry, perhaps because of how nervous you are. You try to act in control, like you're the one calling the shots. But when you feel the three of them near you, with their hands all over you, it's hard to. 

“You’re not that bold now, are you?” Chan whispers in your ear, pressing your arse against his crotch. To your sides, there’s Jisung and Changbin, who grope and kiss your body as much as the other allows them to.

“I’m doing this for you,” you sigh, kicking your head back until it meets Chan’s shoulder. 

“Right,” he scoffs, grabbing a fistful of your hair and forcing you to kneel in front of Changbin and Jisung. “We just wanted your advice, but somehow we ended up like this”.

“I wonder why,” you tease him looking up to him while your hands tease the men in front of you.

“I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that she’s such a filthy slut,” Changbin murmurs, caressing your hair back. 

You can feel them through their sweatpants —you can feel how hard and ready they are for you, how desperate they are for your touch. You wish to take your sweet time with them, to suck the three of until they come in your mouth only to fuck you afterwards. 

You want more than just a quick fuck. But this will have to do for now.

“Suck them off,” Chan orders, pleased with the sight of you on your knees. 

Good thing you’re wearing such accessible clothes today —you’re making his job ten times easier.

“Get us nice and wet, baby,” Changbin proceeds, pulling your head against his crotch while he lowers his sweatpants just enough to release his throbbing cock. “We’re going to fuck you with it, so it’s up to you how easy you’re going to make this for yourself”.

“Don’t forget Jisung too,” the one behind you murmurs into your ear, practically kneeling right beside you while he pulls up your dress, revealing a shameful piece of clothing that he can barely name as underwear. The sight makes Chan’s cock throb even harder. “See how much he’s leaking? I know he has been dreaming of this for a while now”. 

“Fucker,” Jisung hisses through gritted teeth, feeling betrayed by his friend. Truth is, he isn’t telling any lies.

“Aw, you have?” He has been infatuated with you for quite some time now, and he is too awkward to be discreet about it. You have caught him checking you out shamelessly, and it has always been a turn on for you. 

“We all have,” Changbin says, nibbling at his lower lip when you wrap your hand around his cock. You squeeze both of them hard, staring up at them with a mischievous smile. “If only you knew what we talk about when you’re not around”. 

“Mh, I feel a little excluded now,” you pout. “Why don’t you guys just show me?”

You spent another ten minutes on your knees, being throat fucked by your dearest friends Changbin and Jisung. They take turns in burying their cocks inside your warm mouth, using your hair as leverage to let you know which one of them to suck next.

In the meantime, Chan just watches. 

You’re drooling all over yourself by now, your shirt ruined with a mixture of spit, precum and sweat. Your skin feels sticky, your mouth feels full and your pussy feels wet —you really wouldn’t be surprised if the floor was stained with your arousal.

“C’me here,” Chan tells you, grabbing you by your arm and helping you get in a different position. Your knees are bruised and red, but you don’t really care —tomorrow it will be a fun reminder of what happened today. “Now let’s really start recording”. 

You lay on the floor on all fours, with your ass up and your hands and knees supporting your body weight. It's an uncomfortable position, but you can only do much in a recording booth with no bed or couches.

The first one to take a spot right behind you is Changbin. Out of the three, it’s the one who seems more desperate to get his release and you kind of understand him —you’re desperate to feel something too, anything.

“I don’t have-” his voice is strangled, almost panicking. You can feel his hands gripping your hips, and the tip of his cock brushing against your slit. 

“I don’t care,” you encourage him, whimpering when Chan forces your head to face his throbbing dick that he has his fist wrapped around. “Just fuck me”.

It’s the heat of the moment that's getting the best out of you, but you can’t begin to regret it when you feel Changbin’s cock burying itself little by little inside your aching pussy. You try to hold back your moans, worrying that someone outside the hall might hear you, but you know it’s practically impossible.

Plus, that’s the reason why you’re there, anyways.

 So you start enjoying the moment, being as vocal as possible. If anything, the lewd sounds escaping through your lips are only pushing Changbin towards the edge, hips snapping at yours roughly enough to get a series of strained moans immersed in both pleasure and pain.

“You sound so g-good,” Changbin grunts, biting his lower lip to stop himself from being too loud. “Had I known your moans were this pretty, I've would've fucked you before”.

“Fuck, Changbin”. The way his name falls from your lips boosts his ego, and he’s glad everything is being recorded. He makes a mental note to go back to the recording later today, just in case he needs to unwind.

“Jisung will fuck you after him,” Chan demands your attention yet again, brushing the tip of his cock against your lips. He’s kneeling in front of you while Changbin is pounding your pussy from behind. Jisung, on the other hand, is stroking himself while he witnesses the scene; too shy to actually make a move himself, like the rest of them. “And then I will go next, how does that sound?”

“How many seconds- of the sample do you even need?” you chuckle, but the laugh is soon muffled by another whimper caused by Changbin’s ministrations. 

“Just a couple,” he replies, smearing his precum along your lips. “But I’m sure you wouldn’t want to leave this studio without being fucked by Jisung and me, right?”

You love his cockiness, and how he is always almost right. So you nod frantically, clenching around Changbin at the idea of being filled with the both of them in just a couple of seconds.

It doesn’t take him long to come inside you, especially not with how much your pussy is clenching around him. He does so shamelessly, grunting your name and gripping your hips too harshly you’re sure it will leave a mark tomorrow.

When he pulls out, commanded by Jisung who is too desperate to wait another second, you feel his sticky arousal leaking out of you. It’s a weird sensation, and it makes you feel dirty, but you can’t deny you like it. 

And you like it even more when you feel the tip of Jisung’s cock gathering all of his friend’s cum, fucking it back into you little by little, making sure it doesn’t go to waste.

“Who would’ve thought, hm?” You whimper, feeling a bit sore from Changbin’s aggressive care. “You’re not as innocent as I thought, Jisungie”.

He doesn’t say anything, but gives you a sharp thrust in response. One that makes your whole body jolt and tremble, one that earns you one of the prettiest moans the three of them have ever heard.

Chan is sure the recording is good to be used by now, but he doesn’t want to stop just yet. Or at least not until he also gets his fun.

“S-so tight,” Jisung murmurs, holding you more delicately than Changbin did. You love the contrast, though, and they’re both a good fuck. “And warm, all filled up with cum”.

“You’re going to fill me up too, Jisungie?” On any other occasion, the nickname would’ve earned you a killer gaze and a couple of curses from him. But right now, Jisung doesn’t mind. In fact, he likes it. There’s something enticing about you acting like the one in control.

“Can- I?” He asks with a shakily breath. His sloppy movements tell you he is close, and you take it as a compliment. A minute is definitely a record, but you’re really not mad about it. 

“That depends,” you tease him, crying out loud when his cock starts hitting sensitive spots inside your walls. “Are you going to come a lot for me?” 

“Ngh, y-yes,” Jisung whimpers. “Please, I’m- close, just let- say yes, please”.

“Go on,” you order him, arching your ass even more for him. “Give it to me”. 

Not even a couple of seconds later, you feel a now familiar sensation warming up your lower tummy, leaking through your pussy and onto your thighs. 

“Shit,” Changbin scoffs, checking the scene out. “You made a fucking mess”. 

You want to look at what he did, know how much he came for you, but Chan reinforces your initial position yet again by arching your ass even more.

“Be a good slut for me,” he tells you, landing a sharp spank on one of your ass cheeks. The sudden action makes you cry out in pain, but you don’t hate the sensation completely. “And I’ll be good to you”.

You’re not quite sure what he means, and you don’t get time to ask before he’s bottoming out inside of you. 

“Fuck!” you moan, suddenly losing the strength on your arms and your upper body threatening to plop down onto the floor. “C-chan!”

“C’me here,” he groans, sneaking a hand underneath your tummy looking for your clit. Again, the position isn’t the best but he somehow makes it work. And when you feel his digits rubbing your nerves just at the same pace of his thrusts, you start clenching around him even harder.

“Oh my g-god,” that stimulation is exactly what you need to come undone. Jisung and Changbin did a hell of a job getting you closer to your orgasm, but this is exactly what you needed to reach your climax.

And a well deserved one.

“Come,” Chan grunts through gritted teeth, biting his lower lip while furrowing his eyebrows. The sight of your ass bouncing against his cock is enough to get him to come, but he needs you to come first. “I’ll come with you”.

“Ngh- Chan,” and just like some magic words, you’re coming right after his order. He can feel you tightening around him, trying to milk his cock just as badly as you did with the other two. And he can’t resist that feeling, so he sticks up to his word and comes inside you almost at the same time. 

“Such- a good- little fucking slut,” his words are strained and painful. But his voice only contributes more to your own orgasm, just like the feeling of his cum filling you up. 

It takes the two of you a few moments to actually stop —even after coming, he kept on fucking you slowly until he made sure to fuck all of their cum inside of you. The last thing he wanted was to make a mess inside the recording booth, but it was inevitable. 

The floor is stained with all sorts of fluids, ones that are dripping out of your swollen pussy and others that no one knows how they got there. 

“Jisung,” Chan sighs, caressing your hips while fixing his clothes. “Stay with her, I’ll go get something to clean her up. Make sure she’s alright, and take her to the sofa in the studio, ‘kay?”

Jisung nods, attentive, and he helps you get up off the floor with ease. He wraps his arm around you, and fixes the top part of your dress to which you mutter a quick and soft thank you. 

“Changbin’s going to get you something to eat or drink, and I’ll take care of this. Alright?” 

You nod, still supporting your whole weight on Jisung. Your sore legs can only do much.

“He’s going to be with you in the meantime, but we will all be right back,” Chan’s soft gaze is the opposite to what he showed inside the recording booth, but you absolutely adore the contrast. 

“Yeah, ‘s okay,” you smile. 

“You did good, yeah?” Chan smiles, caressing your hair, “sounded so pretty for us”.

You offer them a weak, yet satisfied smile, “my pleasure”. 

[ohnoitstbskyen]

hello mr skyen... might i ask for opinions... for an elise thing im doing

Oh, this is interesting! I am not 100% sure what kind of opinion you're looking for - is this meant to be a skin idea or a full-scale redesign of the character? I'll give you some thoughts, with the caveat that these are off-the-dome impulsive reactions, and whatever I bring up is not meant to be prescriptive "this is wrong do it different" criticisms, they're just me bouncing ideas off of what you are presenting.

If anything I say is useful, then hooray. If it is not, or if it misses the point of what you are trying to do, please discard it without a second thought.

Bringing in some 1920s and 30s fashion energy is an interesting idea. Elise is meant to be this high society socialite who has literally been around for centuries and killing people, so there is definitely a solid idea in using an aesthetic which would be olde timey to modern eyes, but also a bit anachronistic and odd and instinctively a bit out of place in a high fantasy military state like Noxus. I think that's really interesting, and definitely more interesting than the somewhat directionless black leather lingerie her base design keeps her in.

We're playing around with gender presentation it looks like, which I think is a really solid play. Elise is generally presented as a fairly standard type busty sexy video game babe in League of Legends, with Legends of Runeterra opting to show her as a bit more spindly and flat chested. I think her general archetype definitely requires a level of sexiness, sensuality and seductiveness, she is an archetypal Black Widow character, but I don't think that means she necessarily needs to be stereotypically femme in body and presentation. Plus, the LoL universe has more than enough classic femme fatales already, anything that adds variety would be good.

I very much like the red and black fashion - she looks very credibly like an eccentric Noxian socialite, especially in the first two outfits.

I kinda feel like I'm missing something up around her collarbone and chest? A necklace? Tattoo? Cosmetic? I can see the idea of having the collar be exposed flesh for the allure of it, but I feel instinctively like it's conspicuously "empty" next to the highly made up and elaborate makeup and hair, and then the fashionable costuming.

Given that Elise is a transforming character, you could futz around a bit with her proportions? The shoes extend her legs by lengthening into points already, which is a good thing to carry over from the base design, but I think given the importance of long spindly legs to spiders, you could push it even further. think something like Bayonetta for example:

additionally, you could use something like a wrap-around collar, or a necklace, to play around with extending her neck, too, to make her even taller, and push a bit into the uncanny if you want. covering the neck up makes it easier, in my experience, to lengthen it without it looking too obviously odd.

it sort of depends on the impact you want her to have though. very tall, very slender, very long proportions are striking, and carry a vibe of the ethereal, maybe slightly mystical. height also often codes for power.

if you want her to be a more down-to-earth presence in her human form, though, especially if you want her to pretend to be harmless and/or vulnerable as part of her seduction and manipulation play, making her shorter is usually a better shortcut to achieving that vibe

hm... what else...

Well, the spider leg spikes on her arms are cool - I really like the idea of concealing them as some sort of high fashion eccentric accessory, although it's not 100% clear to me from the art here exactly how they are attached to her?

I really like the fashion design of the middle idea. I like giving her trousers and going right up to the edge of letting her have a naked upper body. It's a good way to play with the tease, I think, the allure of almost seeing what is hidden.

I'm not 100% sure about the green markings on the body. on the one hand, she DEFINITELY needs something Shadow Isles coded in her design, since that's where she draws her power from, on the other hand having it that much out in the open feels maybe a little... obvious? at least in her human form?

Of course, this again depends on the intention with the design. if you're designing this as a design to appear in League of Legends, whether as a champion update or a skin, then making her source of power obvious on her body is actually crucial, it's really important for in-game visual language. If it's for something like an appearance in Arcane, you could probably dial it back a couple of notches and make it more subtle.

Like, maybe the same idea of glowing tattoos that light up when she uses her powers, but they are subtle little spiderweb patterns on her skin that look like elaborate decoration when not in use? something like that?

anyway, that's all I can think of as a reaction just off the top of my head. this is really cool, I hope you keep working on it!

[mimikila]

10 things I hate love about you

a/n: Hey! So this is my first fanfic here, english is not my first language so I apologize for any mistake. If you have any questions, ask in the comments and I will clarify!

Synopsis: You hate most teenagers. Seungmin is one of them, and he also has a terrible habit with betting. What happens when he loses a bet and is forced to take you to the prom?

+40k words

pairing: bad boy!Seungmin x hater!Reader

Inspired by "10 things I hate about you"

TW: fem!reader, comedy, dirty jokes, bad words, angst, comfort, dick!Yeonjun (srry), stupid!Seungmin, Y/N is a hater of everyone, kind of enemies to lovers, mentions of sex (nothing explicit), drugs, mentions of getting drunk, partys. (let me know if i forgot somenthing)

You were never one to do things for the sake of others. She hates following what's in trending, hates teenagers who don't have their own personality, hates those who have sex for fun, hates couples who are together just to not be alone and hates even more those who stop doing what they want just to fit in somewhere.

Obviously she hates school. Okay, not exactly school. But the place surrounded by teenagers with raging hormones, there was exactly what you didn't like.

"When will you finally agree to go out with me, sweetie?" Choi Yeonjun's provocative voice sounded in her ears. Wonderful, just what I needed this morning. She thinks.

"Maybe in one of my darkest nightmares." she answers him without even looking into the redhead's eyes, more interested to remove the books needed for the next class from your locker.

"Come on, you don't have to be so annoying all the time." Yeonjun follows her as she walks to her room, his usual playful face only making her angrier. "But apparently you do." She quickens her pace before he even gives up following her with an irritated smile and a roll of his eyes.

The girl sits at her desk when she arrives in the classroom, her best - and only - friend, Yunjin, the person she still supported in that place, was a year younger, therefore, from a different class, which made her completely alone during the classes.

Excellent. Just the way she liked it.

The literature teacher was saying something that probably only you were listening to when the class is interrupted by a late student.

All the bored students turn their heads towards the sound of the door opening as a way to escape the monotony of class. "Sorry, I'm late. I was.. uhm-" he scratches the back of his head trying his best to think of a good excuse. again. "Smoking in the back hallway? That's new." The teacher says ironically, before pointing out, what he automatically understood, After all, it wouldn't be the first time he ended up in the principal's office.

Kim Seungmin.

a summary of everything you most hated, Impressionable. His addiction to tobacco and his obvious presence at almost every party was visible to anyone. He was different from Yeonjun however, even though they seemed to sympathize with each other. Silent, perhaps because he had nothing smart to say. He wore only dark clothes with thick leather jackets and spent most of his breaks with the group of punks who use drugs and listen to exaggeratedly loud music behind the school. He interrupted classes with stupid questions just to make others laugh and took part in surreal bets for pure entertainment. Getting into fights over a pack of cigarettes, skipping classes, going to detention, you're sure he just doesn't have a longer body count because girls are afraid of him.

In other words, a complete asshole.

Your thought is interrupted when some laughter came from the other students as soon as Seungmin was kicked out of the room. You roll your eyes before raising your hand to interrupt the teacher's speech. "Do you always have to have an opinion about everything?" he sighs as he sat at his desk at the front of the room. This would be a long class.

-

"I told you, if you couldn't stay away from the board for a week you would lose." Yeonjun laughs playfully along with some of his friends.

"It didn't count this time, it wasn't even because of a fight. I was just late." Seungmin mumbles before inhaling his cigarette, not finding the things amusing at all.

"Without specifics, a trip to the board is a trip to the board." Yeonjun says with that damn smile. bastard. Seungmin thinks.

"Fine, damn it." Seungmin stubs out his cigarette on the wall he was leaning against with an irritated sigh. "What do you want?" he crosses his arms while looking at Yeonjun with a frown, already deeply regretting this fucking challenge.

"Um... I don't know, but I'll definitely think about it." His laugh is cut off as Yeonjun's gaze catches you passing through the yard.

The student council girl runs towards her as soon as she sees her approaching one of the prom posters, but she doesn't get there fast enough before she rips it off the wall and crushes it with one hand.

"Pathetic tradition." you mutter to yourself while walking to meet Yunjin.

Bingo.

"I think I've thought enough." Yeonjun close his eyes with a smirk and Seungmin can feel a shiver just for of what awaited him. "Look." Yeonjun turns Kim around while holding his shoulders, before pointing at the two girls who were chatting carelessly.

"Yunjin? I was expecting worse than that." Seungmin crosses his arms in front of his chest, watching the pretty girl let out a laugh.

"No, no. No Yunjin, look closer." Yeonjun already laughs, amused by what he had prepared for the Doberman boy.

"I'll pass." Seungmin turns around before starting to walk - run away - from the red-haired guy. "you have no choice! last month I went on a date with Seo Shin-ae because of that bet, without complaining!" Yeonjun chases him before Seungmin himself stopped running with a sigh.

"What do I have to do?" He crosses his arms as he glares at the taller guy furiously. "Take her to the prom." Yeonjun says without thinking twice, with the same shitty smile. "I'll. pass."

"You have no choice." In any normal situation, Seungmin could just give up that bet, he might not have even made it in the first place. But that would be too much for his ego and fragile masculinity. "Fine."

"Hah, you're gonna die." Yeonjun scoffs, knowing very well who Seungmin would have to deal with. "I hope so." Those are his last words before storming out of the school yard, seconds before the break alarm goes off.

-

Sweat poured down your face as you breathed heavily. You crawl tiredly to the benches next to the field to get a bottle of water, opening it and pouring a good amount into your mouth and face.

What a wonderful sight. Seungmin thinks with a disgusted expression. Sighing, he accepts his fate as he puts a smile on his face as he approaches the bench of the women's soccer team members.

"Hey, how are you?" He asks with his seductive and carefree tone, resting one of his hands on the back of the seat and using the other to brush his bangs out of the eyes. Obviously acting charming.

She stares at him with a frown and almost the same look of disgust he gave her a few seconds ago. "Sweaty like a pig." You tighten the bottle cap without even looking at him.

this girl...

He forces his best laugh as he bites his bottom lip, part of it because he was punishing himself for such humiliation.

"at 22:30"

"what?" She finally looks at him, part of her bangs obstructing her vision before she tries to tuck them behind her ear, to no avail. “Go out with me” Seungmin says as if she had already accepted. She scoffs.

"Lost another bet, Kim?" You smile before starting to walk off the field. Seungmin smiles just knowing that she knew his name. "Is it so difficult to imagine that someone wants your company out of pure and spontaneous desire?" He scoffs back, following her. This is familiar.

“If that someone is you, or Yeonjun, or any of your little bitch friends, yes, it is.” You waste no time looking at him as you grabbed your backpack from the floor.

"You're pretty."

"Is that your only reason?"

"It's just a damn date!" Seungmin he finally stops chasing her, watching her continue running away without even checking in on him.

"I'll pass." He bites his lower lip at the familiarity of those words, sighing irritably as he runs his hand through his bangs in a failed attempt to calm himself.

"You're cooked." He hears the voice of his friend, Jeongin.

One year younger, handsome, sweet and stylish, but for some reason he was adopted by the group of crazy smoking punks. Your words.

The blonde followed the entire scene while eating a bag of potatoes fries, enjoying the torture of his almost brother and best friend.

"Oh, really?" Seungmin scoffs, still looking at the way where you went, before turning to his friend and dropping his bag of potatoes on the floor.

-

"Are you stalking me?" You get out of your marine blue Chevrolet, a small gift from your father that you got last year. Her usual anger was ever present in her voice.

"Are you that cocky?" Seungmin responds with his annoyingly pretty smile. She crosses her arms, unconvinced by his answer. He sighs in defeat.

"I was at the bar across the street, saw your car and wanted to say hi." He feels like a little child finding excuses to his angry parents.

"Well, you already said. Bye." She says before going her own way, leaving him behind awkwardly. He sighs again.

Seungmin starts to feel hopeless when he sees Yeonjun park his convertible right behind her car, purposely blocking her path. "Any lucky today?"

Seungmin just gives him the middle finger before the redhead get out of his car and walk past him. Perfect timing for you to exit the grocery store and see your car stuck between the sidewalk and Yeonjun's stupidly expensive vehicle. "You've got to be kidding...."

-

A dented car and Seungmin serving as an alibe for Yeonjun's complaint against her for purposely reversing her car.

He was lost.

It has never been so difficult to please some girl. You were openly a hater of everything and everyone around you. He sighs. Ever since he tried to ask her out, he's been sighing more than he has in his entire life.

"I need your help." The brunette crosses his arms on the lunch table. Jeongin looks up at him, his eyebrows raised. "That's crazy, huh?"

Seungmin rolls his eyes.

"She just doesn't like men." He says sulking.

"Maybe she just doesn't like you."

"Hardly. Anyway, how would I know what she likes?" Jeongin exchanges looks with Seungmin before saying. "I have an idea."

-

“Kim Seungmin wants to go out with Y/N?” Yunjin frowns in confusion, the duo in front of her sighing. "Kind of-"

"He wants to." Jeongin corrects. Yunjin and he weren't exactly friends, but they had a common class, which made them exchange some polite pleasantries. "He needs help because he doesn't seem to have a chance with her."

"It's not like I don't have-"

"What does she like?" Jeongin maintains the conversation with Yunjin, ignoring Seungmin's interruptions, making him scoff and cross his arms like a grumpy child. "Does she even like guys?" The oldest rolls his eyes.

"She likes handsome guys, she has a poster of Gong Yoo in her room." Yunjin explains with a giggle, remembering the times she frequented your room. Seungmin thinks about how much easier it would be to have to hang out with her and not you.

The blonde boy looks briefly at his friend with furrowed eyebrows, the older one raises an eyebrow at him. "You're not that bad." Jeongin tries to convince himself with a little smile. "Now you..."

"She doesn't like smokers, or loud or quarrelsome guys." The girl with blue hair starts to score while looking at Seungmin, looking more and more hopeless. "But if it makes you feel better, she thinks your smile is pretty."

"My smile?"

"His smile??"

Seungmin elbows Jeongin who complains audibly. "Yes, she said something like..." Yunjin searches her memory, trying to remember what you had said to her a few days ago.

-

"He won't leave me alone, he thinks I'm stupid for believing that it's not just another bet between him and Yeonjun." You flip through the page of the old fashion magazine you had for years now, sighing nervously as you vent to Yunjin.

"Maybe it's not a bet, why don't you just agree to go out with him and find out?" The younger girl seemed much more focused on filing her nails than actually talking. "He irritates me! Always showing that...damn. pretty. smile. He knows it's pretty and that's the most annoying thing." You closed the magazine irritably, lifting your head from the pillow as you used your hands aggressively to prove your point.

"He annoys you or turns you on?" Yunjin teases, finally looking at you. "It takes a lot more than a smile to turn me on, believe me. And he's a complete asshole, his bangs are ridiculous and he's not interesting at all." You turn your attention back to the magazine as you lay back on the bed.

-

"That's a begining." Jeongin always optimistic.

"My bangs aren't ridiculous!" Seungmin stands up irritably before being pulled down again by his friend.

"Okay, okay. We need to know what she likes. Books, music, hobbies.." The blonde takes his attention back to Yunjin, who was listening attentively.

"She likes feminist poetry." Seungmin rolls his eyes. "She loves music, she goes to the music store almost every day to play the piano, even though she never buy one." Yunjin smiles as she thinks about what her friend liked, probably the only person who really supports her.

"She bought tickets for Mitski too."

"And what the fuck is that exactly?" Seungmin closes his eyes. He hated the fact that a small bet was taking up so much of his days.

"Music for melancholy teenage girls with mommy issues." Jeongin responds, receiving a pout from Yunjin. "The show is this Saturday, maybe you show up and she ends up seeing you? It would make you more interesting in her eyes."

"No way, what would people think of me if they saw me there?" Seungmin leans his back against the bench while crossing his arms in front of him. "Do you want the gal or not?" the youngest raises an eyebrow at him.

-

Melancholic teenage girls, just like

Jeogin said. Seungmin felt watched as he entered the bar where the show was taking place, he looked both ways to make sure he didn't know anyone there.

You hummed and swayed your body from side to side with Yunjin very close to the stage, stopping to touch your friend's ear and shout so she could hear. "I'm going to get something to drink!"

She walked through the small huddled crowd at the front of the stage, muttering a few apologies to get closer to the bar. "a bloody marry, please!" You say, loud enough for the bartender to hear.

She downs the drink in one go, feeling the unusual burn in her throat as she swallows. "I didn't know you drank." The inconveniently familiar voice makes her roll her eyes.

"What are you doing here? Do you know Mitski?" She asks, now looking at him, noticing him there for the first time.

"And who doesn't?" He says, finishing his drink, before standing up and walking into the crowd. right, acting disinterested.

She follows him out of pure curiosity, she justifies herself . "And since when do you consume indie music?" She scoffs as she approaches him.

"Ah. that's my favorite one." Seungmin ignores her before humming the lyrics from 'Your best American girl'. She scoffs again, not believing it for a second.

"Are you high?"

"No, I stopped smoking, they say it's bad for your health, right?" He looks at her for the first time, or at least the first time she's noticed. "Oh, really..? good for you then." you speak awkwardly, running out of things to respond. He smiles to himself. Victory.

"And if I may say so, you're pretty when you are not wearing the same pair of jeans as always." Seungmin teases with that sideways smile again, now he knew she liked it.

"Hah, you think so?" She tries to mock him even though she feels a pang of embarrassment at the compliment. "You also look... acceptable, with your bangs swept back." He rolls his eyes at her attempt at a compliment.

"Thanks?" He jokes and she laughs, for the first time time looking genuine. Point for him.

"You know... You're not that uninteresting." He arches an eyebrow. "So will you go with me to the party tomorrow?" Seungmin wastes no time and she rolls her eyes.

"Party? What party?" She asks, showing no interest however. She was now missing a great song to be talking to him.

"Changbin, the rich producer who studied at our school." He smiles as he realizes he hasn't been rejected yet.

"This guy doesn't even study there anymore and he still invites that bunch of teenagers?" The girl asks rhetorically, he sighs.

"Do you always talk like a grandma?" He bites his lower lip. Was this a habit of his? Damn habit. "Most of the time."

He rolls his eyes, grabbing one of her hands to spin her to the beat of the music. Even though 'Nobody' didn't go with dancing. "You really need to learn how to socialize."

She feels something in her stomach that she hasn't felt in a long time. "I have to study."

"Then I'll pick you up at nine."

"You don't know where I live."

"I'll figure it out."

She rolls her eyes as he walks away, probably leaving after getting what he wants. You sigh before walking back closer to Yunjin.

-

"Why did I agree with this?" You mutter a little to yourself as you both enter the large house.

"Because I asked you to." Seungmin was right behind her as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She mocks his response before entering the much acclaimed 'party'.

He sees Yeonjun in the middle of some girls, his smile disappears as soon as he looks at the guy with his arm around her neck and Seungmin smiles victoriously. Yeonjun clenches his jaw, something about him being able to get close to you so easily made him... jealous? He scoffs before turning his attention back to Lia, or whatever the name of the girl in front of him was.

-

You really don't know how you ended up here.

On top of the main table swaying to the music of some pop singer you hate it, while a bunch of teenagers supported you to continue.

"She really came." Seungmin wakes up when he hears Jeongin's voice next to him, with a bag of potatoes in his hand as he watches the entire scene. He has deja vú.

The brunette sighs irritably before approaching the table. "Okay, okay the show is over, you're drunk." He tries hard to get you off the 'stage', with you complaining while you get down from the place. "You need some air." He raises his eyebrows in a lament, before dragging her to the porch of the house.

"I... I'm... great, I just need- one more drink..." She mumbles drunkenly as she reaches out to steal the drink from someone else, who quickly dodges her and walks away irritably.

"I would never imagine that someone like you would drink so much like this." Seungmin scoffs before placing her near the stone fences for support. "Isn't that what you guys do at parties?" She mutters with a few strands of hair stuck to her lip gloss, throwing all her weight on the marble piece right below her.

"There's hair in your mouth." The boy teases her before taking one of his hands to look for the strands stuck to her lips, his gaze focused on the movement. before he raises the focus to her eyes.

The party music seems to fade away as he stares into your eyes, his hand drops to your chin and he doesn't seem to want to break his gaze.

"I can see my reflection in your eyes." She says in a sigh, and he bites his bottom lip with a smile.

Seungmin gets closer to her face, and for half a second, he forgot about that bet. His attention too focused on her long eyelashes and then on her parted lips. He starts to close his eyes before being abruptly stopped when she pulls away from him and turns to the other side with a groan, letting everything she consumed at the party out.

The boy scratches the back of his head with a sigh, embarrassed by his own actions as he remembers seconds ago. "Come on, let's go home."

-

You can't remember the last time you laughed this much, it seemed like everything Seungmin said was funny.

"Wait a minute, you sing?" You ask in surprise.

"I've been singing since I was nine" He replies, focusing on driving.

"Show me." The girl says with bright eyes, still a little drunk.

"No."

"Come on! Show me, I want to hear it." She whimpers.

"I don't sing in front of people." Seungmin has a pout surprisingly cute on the face.

"Oh, are you shy?" Y/N quips with a giggle.

"I am." He laughs back, before stopping the car right in front of her house. "You're at home."

She looks out the window, seeing the place she grew up in, but at the moment it didn't seem like where she wanted to be. She turns to him again. "Thank you for inviting me, after all you're not that bad."

"This may have been the best compliment you've ever given me." He scoffs with a smile, one hand still resting on the steering wheel of the car and the other going to run through his bangs, he suddenly remembers that he was wearing his hair as usual. "Oh, I forgot to comb my bangs back today."

"It looks good like this." You respond faster than you intended. "You said it looked ridiculous." He laughs when he remembers, biting the lower lip.

"What? I never said that." raising an eyebrow in confusion, looking at him with a small smile.

"Right, you never said that." He quickly corrects himself, the two stare at each other in silence before bursting into laughter at the same time.

Everything felt right, laughing in the passenger seat right next to Seungmin, who was smiling just like you. Is this real?

Their laughter subsides as their eyes lock again, the previous tension returning as their gazes lock onto each other. You are the first to approach this time, leaving your face just inches from his as you close your eyes. He was going to do the same before a pang of guilt stopped him, and he sighs. Why can't I just be a selfish bastard like always? He thinks before pulling away and looking ahead of the road.

"It's late, you should come in." Seungmin murmurs in a sigh and you open your eyes, but he refuses to look at you. You scoff.

"You're unbelievable." She mocks before quickly taking off her belt, opening the car door and getting out without looking back, entering her house.

What was his problem?

-

"What have you done now?" Jeongin asks with a frown, the two of them sitting in the stands of the big football field while Seungmin asked the younger boy for advice. How ironic.

"Nothing, that's the problem." Seungmin sighs, looking at the field only to see you playing along with the rest of the team. "She was drunk, I didn't want to.." He can't finish his sentence.

"When did you become so moralistic?" Jeongin scoffs. "You know what? I don't know!" the brunette takes hands to his face, frustrated.

"Look, whatever happened, go out there and apologize." The blonde crosses his arms while rolling his eyes. "Why are you assuming I'm the one who fucked up?"

"And it wasn't?" Seungmin doesn't respond. Jeongin sighs. "Wait a day for her to calm down and then put your ego aside and humble yourself for forgiveness." The brunette makes a face at him before looking at the field. to see her again.

You were furious, and everyone in that camp had already noticed. Dribbling an adversary and knocking down another as if she were playing rugby, kicking the ball into the goal with so much force that the goalkeeper didn't even try to catch it, ducking to save his life.

"Two days, I will wait two days." Seungmin says as he stared at the entire scene in horror.

"Yeah, that's better." The blonde does the same. "By the way, I'm dating Yunjin now" Jeongin smiles proudly, his eyes closing in the process.

"Huh? since when?" Seungmin brings his attention back to the shorter one.

"Since the party, we kissed and now we're going out ." He explains with his nose in the air.

"Where did you kiss?"

"In the car, after I dropped her off at home."

....

A sigh.

"Okay I guess I have class now." Seungmin doesn't wait for a response before walking off the field, leaving a confused and offended Jeongin.

-

Seungmin would definitely regret this.

Bribing the people at the radio club wasn't that difficult. A few grams of the most popular weed of the moment was enough for him to have his ten minutes of fame. The band was the hardest part, but luckily he had a close friend, Han Jisung, who coincidentally was captain of the orchestra.

Done.

You were training on the football field like every wednesday, when you hear the loud speakers echoing. Weird. Is the school on fire?

"Uriga nanun...

Gin siganmankeum neureonan gidaeneun"

A song..? A strangely familiar male voice. You and the rest of the team stop to pay attention.

"Eojjeomyeon dang-yeonhaljido molla.."

Try again. It was a beautiful song, yes, but why out of nowhere?

"Sumaneun oechimdo"

She looks around as do the rest of the people in the field.

"Seoroui mamen dachi motan chae"

...

"Geureoke heulleogagido haetjiman."

Your gaze finally meets his, sitting at the very top of the stands, he is surprisingly looking straight at you. You bite your lip to contain your smile. "Unbelievable..."

"So whenever you ask me again how I feel..."

The school orchestra plays it when the chorus starts, you look around, it was hard to believe. Am I in a romantic comedy?

"Please remember my answer is you."

You smile at him and he smiles back as he sings the words. His voice was so beautiful. You knew good singers, but this was different. She felt like he was singing for her.

"Meon gireul dasi doraganda haedo"

He looks away from her only to see Lady Shin, better known as Miss Principal, walking towards him.

"Nan yeojeonhi gateun mamil tenikka."

Seungmin continues singing until the older woman approaches him.

"We'll be alright, I want to try again."

He takes a final bow before following the nervous lady inside the school, managing to hear the applause of everyone watching.

Seungmin looks away from the director who was scolding him, as usual, looking at you again, with a sideways smile as he waved softly at her. You smile with a nod, still in disbelief. You wanted to be mad at him, you wanted to think it was just a challenge from him and Yeonjun and then ignore him completely. But Kim Seungmin was trying hard to get into her heart.

He will be the death of you.

"Miss Y/N, What are you doing here?" The voice of the detention teacher awakens Seungmin from the moon world. The boy quickly looks towards the door, to see you standing there with a half smile.

"Detention, sir. Arguing with a teacher." She explains herself without any remorse. He bites his lower lip to contain the smile. You definitely did it on purpose.

"Sure, sit down." The teacher says, and she does so when she finds a place next to him.

"You're a good singer." Another point for him.

"So I'm forgiven?" Seungmin supports his chin with one hand and smiles softly.

"Yeah, I guess so." She responds without looking at him, opening one of her books to appear uninterested. He smiles.

-

"Let's go to karaoke." Seungmin follows you down the halls to your locker. He's been getting more clingy. Sitting with you at lunch and unconsciously kicking Yunjin out, walking you home, 'helping' you with your homework in the library, but really just staring at you while you write.

Seungmin told himself that he was just trying hard for the bet, but the blunt truth is that he didn't even remember that anymore. He's gotten used to smoking just one cigarette before bed, and waking up early to take a shower to make sure you don't smell the smoke. He read more books than he had ever read in his entire life and to be honest, Mitski's music wasn't that bad. Jeongin makes fun of him, knowing his friend well enough to know that this wasn't all to prove his masculinity to Yeonjun. The fact is that he likes you.

"I can't sing." You laugh at him, trying your best to shove all of your notebooks inside the small school locker. "Well, I know." He scoffs back, that smile never leaving his lips as he leans his head against the locker next to you.

"Have you lost your shyness?" You finally closes it and leans against the door, looking directly at him now.

"I think serenading you in front of half the school helped me with that." He scoffs, his voice a few tones lower than normal, his gaze never leaving yours before he reaches up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"Let's go to karaoke then." You try changing his attention out of pure embarrassment, feeling your cheeks burn as you turn away from the metal lockers, walking to your next class. "But don't make fun of me."

"I can't promise that."

"Your task is to redo this little Shakespeare poem. You have until class before the ball to do it." Old Professor Jin says with a yawn.

Right. The bail.

Suddenly Seungmin remember your initial purpose. He sighs. He obviously wanted to take you to the prom, but not because of the bet, no, he wanted to take you because he wanted to have you around, he didn't want anyone else, he wanted you.

The boy looks at her only to see her absently playing with a colored pen, for the first time you seemed disconnected from the class. What were you thinking? He smiles foolishly.

-

Singing wasn't your strong point, you loved music, but you preferred to stick to instruments. She was certainly leaving her comfort zone when she agreed to go to karaoke with Seungmin.

After the second song, where Seungmin made her sure he wouldn't make fun of her for her voice, she feels at ease. The two sang together, Seungmin introducing his voice whenever he felt it was necessary. - whenever she would go out of tune -, and she was grateful for that. Something about her laughing and him talking nonsense in between lyrics made her feel at home, almost like she'd known him for years. How long have they been talking? a month? maybe a month and a half? She's not sure. But it already felt like an eternity.

"Only? Do you want to tell me something or.." Seungmin makes fun of her song choice, she just laughs in return. "It's a beautiful song." You respond and he nods.

"Be my only one"

You sing, Seungmin doesn’t interrupt. He looks at her with puppy eyes as he watched her mouth move to the melody of the song, he wasn't really listening, too distracted by whatever it was right now. Her eyes shine as she reads the lyrics on the monitor, the light from the TV illuminating her entire body. Every detail of her face being analyzed by him. Her big eyelashes, her hair that fell a little on her face and her full lips that moved as the song went by. Ah, those lips. He then remembers when he was so close to them that he could feel their breath caress his face.

"Now I believe"

Y/N turns her gaze to him when she notices him being very silent. Right. The karaoke.

"A song called la la la la"

Seungmin sings with her, his voice drawn out by the small laugh he let out when he remembered that the song existed.

"You who searched and searched and wandered"

The monitor was forgotten as He looked into your eyes, you tried your best to remember the lyrics that always played on the radio when you drove back home.

"My, oh my, oh my, oh, my love"

The feeling of everything being blurry returns when the two maintain eye contact, she watching her reflection in Seungmin's eyes and he trying hard not to kiss her at that moment. How did she end up here? With the kind of guy she hated, in a 12 square meter room, singing, looking into his eyes with the greatest sexual tension she'd ever felt.

"Be my only love"

He gives up, As soon as the last words of the chorus come out of both of them, he approaches completely, their lips colliding. That feeling in your stomach again. It's like fireworks when Seungmin brings a hand to her cheek, letting go of the microphone to rest his hand on the bench right behind you. This looks like a scene from a romance book. She thinks. He almost faints when the kiss stops for a second and she parts her lips to give way to his tongue, which he doesn't take long to accept. His hands go to her waist as he deepens the kiss, her back rests against the wall when Seungmin leans even closer, as if he wasn't already close enough.

He pulls away to catch his breath, both of them breathing heavily as he rests his forehead against hers, sighing. "Go to the prom with me."

"I'm not really into that kind of stuff."

"But you're into me though." He teases, and she laughs before capturing his lips again.

He needed to talk to Yeonjun.

-

With a lame excuse he loses you and goes to the back of the school, not taking long to find Yeonjun and the rest of his 'friends'. "We need to talk."

"What's up Seungmin! How long friend, you've been kind of busy recently." Yeonjun takes the cigarette out of his mouth to greet the brunette, wrapping an arm around his neck as he pulls him closer to the circle. The redhead offers him a cigarette, Seungmin sighs irritated, picking up the rolled-up piece of paper with his hand, only to throw it on the floor.

"I give up." He says just like that, Yeonjun looks at him confused. "The damn bet, I give up, I'm not going to do that, you win." Seungmin looks deeply into his eyes as he says this, Yeonjun scoffs.

"You've got to be joking, are you serious, Minnie?" The redhead uses the old nickname on purpose, making Seungmin even more uncomfortable. "I thought you were better than this, you can't take a girl to the dance?" Yeonjun laughs dryly. He clenches his jaw.

"I don't care what you think, I just want to make it clear that it's over. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore." Seungmin says firmly, Yeonjun's smile disappears.

"What's your problem Seungmin? Have you gotten into her pants already? Have you had enough?" Seungmin turns to leave, not wanting to hear all that bullshit. “I bet you had fun, Y/N is good in everything she does. When I found out that she played the piano I finally understood why those little hands were so skilled-"

Yeonjun's voice is interrupted when Seungmin drops a closed fist on his cheekbone. That would definitely leave a mark. The redhead has little time to react before Seungmin pushes him and he hits his back on the ground. All Yeonjun can feel are the punches of the youngest in his face.

The fight doesn't last long when the two's friends run to separate them, now a group of other students are already surrounding them when Seungmin hears director Shin's familiar voice. Shit.

He doesn't think straight as he follows her out of the circle of students, nervously trying to brush his bangs out of his face. Seungmin couldn't hear anything, and his vision was blurry too. What was Yeonjun's problem? Was he just messing with him? Did he really already have...? That didn't make sense. No, it didn't feel right. You would never be with someone like that. Someone who smokes, fights, screams, hates rules, someone who makes stupid bets. Someone like Yeonjun. Someone like Seungmin.

Oh.

His thought is interrupted when he feels the burning of a gaze penetrating him, beyond of all the others, he felt this one up close. He lifts his head to see you staring at him, near the alley where Yeonjun and his friends were. Did she hear that? Her look was answer enough. Lips swollen from her teeth biting them anxiously, red nose and wet eyes. She heard that.

Seungmin is used to fucking everything up.

But this time he really regretted it.

-

"Some brave to read your poem in front of the class?"

Seungmin was done. part of it was because he knew he fucked up with everything, and the other part was because you were avoiding him. Missing all the classes you had together. You never missed classes. He tried his best to forget, tried to convince himself that 'It was just a girl', but he couldn't. No, not even if he wanted to. And he didn't want to.

With the head resting on his arms and his body leaning on the table he looked absently out the window, wondering where you were. He had done his homework for the first time. But you weren't there to hear it.

-

22:30, That time reminded you of him. Damn.

All the other students were probably having fun, dancing and getting drunk in a room full of fancy dresses and music. But you were in your room, alone.

You scribbled randomly in your notebook as you did your best to relax, 'Reflections' played on your small radio on the corner of the table. This song reminded you of him. Damn. You sigh audibly, throwing your pen somewhere on the desk as you kicked the wall in front of you to move away from the table, letting your head fall to your side and look at the ceiling.

You have condemned yourself for falling for it again. Yeonjun was an asshole, and you learned that the worst way.

first year, you weren't you yet. Little girl who wanted most was to fit in.

And then he appeared. Knight in armor, handsome, charming, with dyed hair and a pretty smile. Yeonjun was your prince. Or that's what you thought. Two months of dating was what it took for him to get what he wanted. After using all his charm he completely seduced you, behind his luxurious convertible. He had you at his mercy.

He didn't force you, no, you did it on your own, after all, everyone was doing it, right? then a week later when he was flirting with Chaewon like you were nothing, it made your heart break into a thousand pieces. Days later you found out about the gambling addiction between Yeonjun and his friends.

You promised never to fall into the clutches of stupid teenagers again.

You sighed, closing your eyes to block out the light from the chandelier in your room, taking deep breaths to calm yourself.

Tic

Weird

Tic

...

Tic

What the hell is that? You open your eyes and look around the room before see a rock hitting the window glass. Very weird. You take cautious steps to the window, opening one of the doors before a rock flies over your head, landing somewhere in the room.

"Sorry!" Kim Seungmin. Exactly the person you wanted to see. You scoff, turning to go back to your bed. "Wait!"

You ignore it, laying down on your bed and looking at the ceiling again.

Seungmin looks up, seeing you disappear into the room, he sighs, ready to give up when he notices that you didn't close the window.

"I'm not sure if you can hear me, but- uhm... I did my homework, ahmm.." He sighs, opening the crumpled piece of paper he's tucked away in his big leather jacket. He clears his throat.

"I love how you talk to me

And how your hair is always blocking your eyes

I love how you sing out of tune

And I love your stubbornness"

He smiles to himself as he reads.

"I love your worn pair of jeans

And I love how you can read my mind.

I love this about you so much

That I even feel sick

I love how you ignore red traffic lights

And I love it when you're brutally honest."

He laughs to himself, unconsciously reaching to brush off his bangs of the eyes.

"I love when you make me smile

And even more when you look into my eyes

I love how you hum when you're distracted

And the fact that you love weird music"

He swallows hard, sucking in some air as he reads his own previously written words. He moistens his lips before continuing.

"But I especially love

how you make me feel loved

Even though I'm everything you hate

And for that, and more

...

I love you."

He still looks at the paper when he bites his bottom lip. Seungmin looks up to see the window, only to notice that you weren’t there yet. He sighs, crumpling up the paper and stuffing it back into his pocket. "I really meant it." He concludes, turning to head back to the car.

Seungmin didn't want to lose you, but he would learn to deal with it. He would try hard to forget everything he spent with you, the show, the party, the football field, the library, the car, the karaoke. Everything. And as his last act of love, he would leave you alone.

Three steps, maybe four, is all he can walk before he feels a weight on his back, staggering him and almost falling to the ground. You snaked your arms around his slim waist, as you buried your face in his back, sniffling. "Stupid....Stupid- I...I hate you." She whimpers, her voice muffled by the fabric. He sighs with relief.

Seungmin turns to hug you from the front, resting his chin on the top of your head as he closes his eyes. "I love you too, baby." He whispers, and you feel those damn butterflies. "I'm really sorry."

"You better be!" She cries, hitting his chest as she pulls her face away from his now wet shirt, looking at him. He brings both hands to her face to wipe away her tears. She sobs.

"You know, I really intended to take you to the prom, I mean- because I wanted to, not because.. you know-" You cut him off when you crash your lips onto his abruptly, shutting him up. It takes a second for him to hug you again, gently taking one hand to your face and the other to your waist. The kiss was wet, a mess, but he couldn't be happier. He smiles, and the bail is forgotten.

"I hate myself for not being able to hate you."

"And I love you."

End.

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

So it's come to my attention a little birdy @judegossip has been lying about shit on here. I'm honestly ok with most gossip account everyone is on their own thing, it's cool, but this girl in particular is a fucking mess.

First off I make a post saying y'all need to be careful with what you're posting on here because rightfully so, football player teams look on social media(especially Jude. This isn't an opinion or a guess it's a fucking fact) to see what bullshit y'all say to damage his reputation and what not, And not even a few hours later she makes a post saying Toby messaged her.

BUT ACTUALLY HE DIDN'T! She got someone else to message her and make it seem like it was Toby

Don't read any further if you don't like gossip. You've been warned!

The account (who I have no problems with btw) made up a fake story at her request and she proceeded to post acting as if Toby was the one who sent that shit to her ass

Not only is she deranged but she's also clearly lying and her anons are obviously making fanfictions against Jude. Now I want to tell you, as someone who has had a gossip account before I know for a fact you can send anons to yourself through desktop. And people lie because it's easy. Not only is she trying to make it out as if Jude is gay she also keeps making claims Jude has had a 3some with Toby and she has a picture of said 3some taking place. And Jude is some shitty ex boyfriend because "someone close to Jude" came to Tumblr and told you.(I've heard that one before too lol)

My momma didn't raise a fucking fool. As I stated people make stuff up and I have once or twice lied about knowing something or having something when I didn't for attention (stupid right? I know. I was young and dumb)

Also her talking about toby potential nose job why do you gaf exactly? She clearly has some weird beef with Toby for no fucking reason at all. Here she is continuing to feed into this shit, lying to her anons as if she wasn't the one making this up

She's homophobic and also she's a zonist apparently (the account who messaged me has proof of that). I doubt this woman is a real jude fan the way she talks about this man and his family and friends.

Now idgaf if her or her little minions come at me( nothing you say will hurt my feelings. Everything is funny to me) but I refuse to sit here and let someone do this shit. Not only is it deranged but clearly she's a serial attention seeker who ego is driven by people anonymous messaging her. I don't know if you're a fucking child or something but you need help babe and I hope you get it because you need that shit

I don't want to be a gossip account so I won't answer too many anons on this. Instead I'll answer something via tags or message me and I'll explain. I will also not be tagging any post after this unless necessary to do so. The tags are supposed to be a fun place, not a shitty one. (also I don't care if you share this anywhere else other than Tumblr)

[cina-full-moon-xanadium]

Heisei/Reiwa Kamen Rider Bike Riding Time research

Hello there! Does anyone remember from a little while back when this image was going around?

For a while, at least in fan communities I frequented; this was quite infamous for showing just how sharp a decline Kamen Rider's namesake had become in the last few years, with the absolute nadir of the Heisei 20th anniversary Kamen Rider using his bike for a total of 47 seconds (and also, on the other end; just how much Kuuga would not get off his bike)

Obviously, it's been a few years since Saber now; and I've found myself wondering from time to time exactly how the Riders since then have fared, especially since both Geats and Gotchard have garnered a reputation of sorts for putting a bit more emphasis on the bikes and feeling like they have more screentime than your Zero-Ones and your Sabers.

So! I went looking and found the source. This extremely dedicated Japanese poster called Yamashita Radio who of course I will be basing the majority of this on, including his rules and his counting. And when I say 'dedicated' I mean that at one point he lost all his data so he just counted Kuuga through Saber all over again. MAD respect for this man! I highly recommend a full readthrough of this 5-part post at one point because it's very impressive and interesting stuff in my opinion

One other interesting point is that that chart there? That's main rider only; and also includes any riding they did as civilians. There is a separate chart for all motorbike riding in the show as a whole; including other riders, including monsters, including even just random civilians! For posterity, I think it's important to post that chart for comparison with the main rider one -- I've colour coded here so that red is Heisei 1 (Kuuga-Decade), green is Heisei 2 (W-Zi-O) and yellow is Reiwa (Zero-One onwards). Main rider only on the left, all biking on the right.

Up front there are some absolutely fascinating observations to make here - Zero-One had the least bike scenes of any show! Brand new era of Kamen Rider! - but I think I've talked about the past enough. With all this said and what I feel is a very important plug to make, let's get into the meat of this -- how do Revice, Geats and Gotchard compare to previous shows?

Rules

... okay, yeah, sure; let's quickly establish a baseline first. As I'm going off of Yamashita's work, I'm also going by all his rules; it's a good thing I agree with all of them because I kinda didn't want to completely redo the count of every season!

TV Show ONLY! No movies, no TTFC specials, no HBVs, no V-Cinema, none of it. The main reason given is that, uh, Paradise Lost has a 100+ bike scene near the start so that's too much of an advantage -- fair enough! Personally I also think it's more interesting, because movies generally have more budget and allowances for bike scenes so those tend to be the same. Maybe a separate count would still be interesting, but I think including movies would flatten out the times too much and make the data pretty uninteresting

No openings! Agito has too much of an advantage

Non-transformed states count the same as transformed states. Godai riding a bike is the same as Kuuga riding a bike.

All motorcycles are treated equally! Mopeds and even CG scenes and bikes are allowed

Other vehicles such as cars, trains and even bicycles and hoverbikes are excluded. Two big exceptions are made for Drive and Revice as they do not have a main motorbike otherwise, but this does exclude things like Gaim's Dandeliner, many of the Oni in Hibiki's transport vehicles, Den-O's Den-Liner, Gotchard's Steamliner and Madwheel and Decade's Agito Slider

Transformations of the bike still count as long as it's being ridden. The Boostriker turns into fox mode while you're riding it? That's fair game

Flashbacks and other repeat footage ("previously on" segments etc) don't count of course. But in cases where it's clearly stock footage but it's still a new event, like the many Ryuki Rideshooter scenes, that's still counted

Count from the moment the bike is straddled to the moment the bike is gotten off, and everything in between. Scenes where the bike isn't technically visible - such as close-ups of the rider's face, or cutting to another character's reaction - are still counted if it's all the same scene

Revice

3m21s (2m23s for Revi only)

Oh lucky me, this was actually done for me! Yamashita made a small update after Revice finished to add this. I just went over and double checked it.

At 3m21s, Revice is at this point the series with the 2nd least amount of bike riding; above Zero-One and below Zi-O. For Revi alone he's in 3rd least; above Zero-One and below Saber. Happy 50th anniversary!

An interesting note here is that Ikki never rides Vice Ptera untransformed -- concerns over the actor's safety, maybe? Daiji also pulls in 58 seconds for the show on his own motorbike, but abandons it completely after episode 13; only bringing it back for the summer movie (which is also the only place he rode it as Live). Interestingly, the 12 seconds he rides it with Sakura in episode 13 is the only time he uses it in the show after becoming a Rider. The skateboarding scene in episode 7 for Jackal Form goes on for over a minute, but unfortunately can't count for this...

I think most people expected Revice to place quite low, though. So let's move on to a show I think a lot of people expect to place higher.

Geats

4m05s (3m45s for Geats only)

I keep repeating it, but this is a show where it seemed a lot of people got the impression of the bike having more importance than before. I think there's a lot of aspects that come together into that -- the bike being tied to a specific 'special' item that's even part of the main rider's main form, the upgrade forms going off of that, and the bike being used in prominent scenes including in the first episode. Geats even arrives on it in his Revice summer movie cameo!

But ultimately if you look at riding time, Geats ends up in 3rd place for overall bike time; above Revice and below Zi-O, while for main rider only Ace ends up in 5th last; above Saber and below Decade. As such he ends up being the main Reiwa Rider to use his bike the most.

This is where I started splitting main rider and untransformed rider in my personal tracking charts, just for fun -- I actually couldn't do that for Revice because as said Ikki never rides anything untransformed except his bicycle. Until episode 11 Ace actually just slightly edged out Geats for having more bike time which was enjoyable to see.

A very interesting thing happens in regards to the Boostriker's transformed state. I decided not to include finishers involving it unless the Rider is specifically riding it -- and the one and only one to do so was Buffa in episode 6, accounting for every single second he rode the machine. He had a penchant for using the buckles' weapons in ways he wasn't supposed to, and he kept up that rule even when the 'weapon' was a bike.

Geats spends a decent amount of time in the final episode sitting on his bike while talking to Regad and the other Riders, and that really saved the show's overall times.

Gotchard

5m09s (2m32s for Gotchard alone)

According to production blogs, Gotchard had a stated aim of using the bike more. Unfortunately it seems this didn't manifest itself in a very major way... but I think we did see more interesting uses of it! Spanner has his own bike (that like Daiji, he never rides transformed!), there's a version of Golddash from the future, other characters including Golddash itself ride rather than Hotaro at multiple points!

For 'others', the 3 seconds in Episode 2 is when Minato rolls up to deliver Golddash to Hotaro personally. Episode 9's 5 seconds have Renge (with Sabimaru in the back) riding it to deliver Hotaro's cards to him in Kyoto.

Spanner shockingly saved the series' overall time here in a similar way to final episode Ace, by sitting on his for an extended period of time during his conversation with Lachesis at the start of episode 47.

While it's not a very long scene nor did it change anything for the rankings, the bike scene in the final episode that just aired is notable for an extremely rare instance of a Rider Machine being ridden by a Kamen Rider's final form. To my knowledge this has previously only been done by Agito, Den-O and Revice (the latter in a movie). Fittingly for a show where part of the direction was inspired by Agito, both Agito and Gotchard do this Final Form bike scene in their final episodes.

And now, for the final count...

Gotchard ended up in 21st for overall bike time between Zi-O and Saber, but this was largely due to other characters; so Hotaro alone ended up in 22nd between Revice and Saber.

Overall we're now 5 shows in instead of 2, we can indeed see a very large dropoff in the Reiwa Era -- including Zi-O, the most recent 6 shows are all at the bottom of the list. This is especially notable when The next most recent series, Build, had 12m31s; almost double that of Saber's -- and this wasn't uncommon, with Ghost and Ex-Aid sharing similar times.

This was the main thrust of my research... but what say we go on a little addendum? Because when I mentioned Yamashita updated his post to include Revice in 2022, there was... one other series he saw fit to do a count for. One that was only halfway through, but nonetheless saw an impressive amount of bike riding time. He only got halfway, but what say I finish the job out of pure interest?

It is "Avataro Sentai Donbrothers"

The extremely normal 2022 entry into the Super Sentai series has a number of bike scenes. Some you may expect from Don Momotaro riding his CGI Enyarideon on his Palanquin for much of the first cour. Some of you might say that CGI shouldn't count, it's easy enough to animate together a scene than deal with road laws and such -- but does Kijibrother not count? Does Inubrother not count? Do none of the mech scenes count? It's a festival, people. Let's enjoy it.

Even aside from the CGI, Yamashita noted halfway through the show; that can't quite account for everything else. Sonoi has a bike he rides in multiple episodes, every time with a wheelie. Inuzuka twice within 4 episodes steals a bike and almost runs people over with it, as is perfectly fine for a hero. Don Kaito shows up with his own motorbike to promote his new book, which you should buy. For a show where it's not even in the name and for recent Sentai, there's an awful lot of riding going on.

Yamashita in his post speculates that part of this is Inoue's own habits -- as a man whose Toku experience largely consists of regularly writing for Kamen Rider in the 00s, it's natural to expect he would be inclined to write something like "Inubrother escapes the scene on a motorcycle..." as if it was second nature; as if that's nothing special for a modern show.

And I would be inclined to believe that... as such a habit is something that would likely get ironed out after a while; and sure enough, while bike scenes are frequent for the first half of the show, they disappear entirely from episode 23 to 43. It is at this point in my own count I thought we would simply never see a large bike scene from the show again, and the sheer fun of counting up Donbrothers would be lost.

And then... he appeared.

My saviour from the future.

With a full uninterrupted 1 minute 15 second bike scene

I could hardly believe what I was seeing. I remembered the future episode but I had completely forgotten this was a part of it. When I started timing this episode I was leaving the house fairly shortly and I figured like the past 20 episodes this would be easy enough to count, and I was utterly bewildered. I should never have disbelieved for a moment.

With all that said... where does Donbrothers end up in full?

7m21s (4m23s for Don Momotaro alone)

This overwhelming record easily puts both Donbrothers and Don Momotaro in 20th place of their respective charts; beating all Reiwa Riders and Zi-O -- with Don Momotaro even coming close to dethroning Kamen Rider Decade's riding time!

This is where we stand, my companions. In an era where Kamen Rider's biking time is lower than ever before and shows no sign of significant recovery, Donbrothers swoops in to steal its glory. Never lose faith. The festival never ends

[magesforthedas]

Okay, newest discourse I've seen and want to share my opinion on... Mostly it's about Rook's companions. PLEASE be aware the are Spoilers for late game DAV below!

So, I've been seeing a bunch of people talking about how the companions don't really act like they care about you, because they aren't asking you how you are doing.

We've got some things to dissect here 😅 first off, not everyone's love language is words of encouragement haha. But on a serious note, even if it's true that they never asked "Rook, are you alright?" (Which, I'm pretty sure I got asked that by at least one companion...?) It doesn't mean they don't care about you. The more interactions and companion quests you do, the more you see that care come out.

Davrin asking you to join him for walks? He sees you need a break and fresh air.

Emmerich taking you to the gardens? It's probably the most relaxing thing he can think of.

Neve taking you with her to throw rocks, the thing she does when she needs a break and to clear her mind? She's hoping it helps you too.

Taash taking you to feed the birds? Again, something that helps them clear their head? Makes it easier to think? Also, their comment about you not knowing loss... Haven't you ever said something when you are angry that you know will hurt? Maybe that's how Taash sees you, or maybe they see the haunted look of grief in your eyes every day, and wanted to provoke you into getting mad and talking about it- exactly how they are apt to share their emotions. But Rook knows that comment isn't about them, it's about Taash.

Harding taking you with her to practice her new magic? It's something potentially fun and a little exciting, something brighter than the death and despair everywhere.

Tbh I'm having trouble thinking past romance stuff for Lucanis 😂 but like, making you food, he does check in on you, his quiet care in the way he would talk to you. I'll see on this second playthrough how much stays even when he isn't romanced.

Bellara taking you to check elven artifacts? You most likely have no idea what you are doing, she obviously just wanted you there. Now, it could be because she just wants support, but I wouldn't be surprised if she was hoping some knowledge of how to handle these artifacts rubbed off on you, and wasn't sure how to say that. She's obviously protective, and doesn't always know how to say what she wants.

Point is, sometimes it's words, sometimes it's actions, but they obviously do care. They also realize: you are the one leading this, the one with the most weight on your shoulders. They may be unsure how to actually ease that weight, and not just remind you that you have it.

It makes me really, really sad to see people say that they can't find it in them to care about the companions, because they don't ask you how you feel. Is their worth directly linked to your wellbeing? Is the only correct way of showing care or affection the way you prefer? I cried through multiple companion scenes because of the raw emotions they shared with me. Does that willingness to be vulnerable count for nothing?

Something I honestly appreciate about Rook, is there's a little bit we know for sure about them. You can decide their identity, if they're serious or joking, or optimistic or angry. There's room to fill your backstory. But the core of you is the same, and it's why Varric chose Rook: because you see a problem, you solve it. You see an injustice, you have to do something. Every backstory, you did something that saved lives or helped people and it got you in trouble; you know how to put others first, but without it breaking you.

There are a lot of similarities between Hawke and Rook that I see, the Found Family trope being the biggest. And you know, both families are maybe a little dysfunctional. But while there are similarities, it's unfair to compare how Hawke's friends approached their wellbeing with the Veilguard, because they are all, the protagonist and the companions alike, different people, who would handle and process trauma differently. And in a way that, whether the healthiest or not, kept everyone sane; though there are times when things could slip through the cracks.

My final thought is about Varric, or rather, his death. I saw people talking about how Solas couldn't have kept that ruse going if the companions had bothered to check in with you. Now, sure maybe no one ever said anything because they were concerned if it would help or not. You've been caught in the infirmary a couple times, talking to nothing: maybe that is what helps you cope?

But I think it is completely plausible that the magic Solas was using to make you think Varric was still alive, could also have been censoring outside mention of him. A lot of the time if Varric gets brought up in conversation by someone, they just.... Trail off? What if they said more, but Solas erased it for you? And the companions, well. If you don't want to talk about him, they won't force you. Same with anyone else, like Isabela. Solas is smart, he would know that the people around you would know he was dead, and may very well mention it in front of you. You think he wouldn't have something in place?

So yeah, next time something comes up that makes you go, "this is bad writing, I can't like this game, how can you like this game?" Maybe ... Look at it from another angle? A couple angles? Think about what could be happening offscreen? Or if you really just don't like the game or the characters... Why would you want to make others feel bad if they do? Not to be harsh, because also if you have things you don't like, that's valid and it doesn't mean you can't express yourself. But that doesn't mean nobody should like them.

Love you all ❤️

[shinidamachu]

Do you think Kikyo should’ve been nicer to Kagome and thanked her for all those times she saved her? Some of the fandom even thinks she owed her Spiritual training as well, what do you think?

To me, the thing about Kagome and Kikyo's rivalry is that it felt very one sided. Obviously, they both had extremely valid reasons to hate each other's guts at first — reasons that go beyond Inuyasha —, but Kikyo was the only one actually acting on it.

And she kept doing it even after Kagome has proved, time and time again, that she can be trusted and that she is in no way deserving of Kikyo's hatred.

I think that was a great dynamic because Kagome and Kikyo parallel each other so well: while Kagome was strugling with her own feelings in order to understand Kikyo's and accept her as a part of Inuyasha's life...

...Kikyo was fighting to do the exact opposite and hold on to her grudge. You can tell it by the way she can recognize what Kagome's true intentions were but still belittle her for it and refuse to say anything nice to her face.

It's a extremely compelling "yin and yang" sort of thing that worked very well at the start. What happened was that, at a certain point, Kagome has done so much for Kikyo that any ressentment towards her just felt a little ridiculous.

And I'm not even saying Kikyo should've been nicer and thanked Kagome. I think it's perfectly okay for a female character to dislike another. They don't have to be friends just because they're women, especially when there's so much bad blood between them.

In fact, I don't think there's room for a canon friendship there without it feeling awkward and forced — even though Kagome was obviously trying. I also think Kikyo being nice and thanking Kagome would be out of character and honestly a little underwhelming.

After everything that happened, a simple "thank you" doesn't even begin to cover. And as much as Kagome deserved to hear it, she didn't do anything because she wanted to be the better person or for Kikyo to be in debt with her. She did it because she's a good person and therefore will always do the right thing.

In my opinion, it wasn't exactly to Kagome that Kikyo owed anything, but to the narrative, as a way to earn her so called redemption by being held accountable for her actions, which she never really was.

Rather than Kikyo being nicer to Kagome, I think it would've been much better for both characters if Kagome was allowed to tell Kikyo off every now and then without it being an illusion.

And rather than Kikyo thanking Kagome, it would've been way more natural and meaningful for her to die saving Kagome's or Inuyasha's life instead of Kohaku's. It would've shown more regret and gratitude than any words ever could. Everything would come full circle — since she tried to kill them both while they were only trying to save her — and her closure would feel actually earned.

As for the spiritual training thing, I see where people are coming from and in another universe I think it would've been totally cool for them to have a dynamic like Aang and Roku had in Avatar, but again: it doesn't really work in canon.

More importantly: it goes against a theme that was introduced very earlier in the show, which is Kagome being her own person, doing her own thing, aside from Kikyo.

We literally see her trying to channel Kikyo's powers and failing...

...Then just being herself and succeeding:

If anyone was obligated to train her, that's Kaede, but particularly I like the idea of Kagome being self taught and making the moves up as she goes even better. I think it adds a lot to her character, I just wished Takahashi had explored it properly.

Plus, let's be honest: Kagome was doing a fine job on her own. Kikyo was the one making her life a thousand times harder by coming up with those nonsensical plans. In the end of the day it wasn't Kagome who needed Kikyo to defeat Naraku, but rather Kikyo who needed Kagome.

That being said, if Kikyo were to be nicer and thank someone, I think that person should've been Inuyasha and I will die on this hill. He was risking everything he had because she guilt tripped him into thinking he owed it to her.

"You came for me, that is enough" was not a thank you nor an apology. I can understand her reluctance when it comes to Kagome, but I can't justify her treatment of Inuyasha. Not when she was supposed to love him.

[yuri-is-online]

Can we hear your thoughts on Leona! Yutu?

Since Leona died fighting the Phantom, Yutu obviously wouldn't have met him, and I'm wondering about your ideas between what Leona became after NRC, how the loss of Yuu affected him, Leona's death, and Yutu's opinion of him before and after meeting him. I had an errant idea of Leona having Died a Hero's Death and then when Yutu meets him it's like, "THIS is the guy my parent was willing to spend the rest of their life with???"

Anyway yeah. As a Leona Simp, I would much appreciate anything you write.

Does he like cats... you know I have always sort of seen Leona has having a petty rivalry with Grim because he thinks he should be the King Cat, so the image of Leona! Yutu lying in a field with a bunch of cats is sort of a perfect contrast. I like it: Leona! Yutu absolutely loves cats and they love him.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, for context on the fyuuture kid au can be found here and here. You can find even more stuff for it on my masterlist under the series section.

Leona and and his position in the kingdom's line of succession... Based off my understanding of what we see in the Tashmina event I think the Savanna would prioritize protecting their royal family over a lot, something that pissed Leona off. He went to fight the King of Beast's phantom because he saw it as a problem he made and that he needed to take responsibility for sure, but also because he had no faith in his brother to do anything meaningful about it. I want to say that his brother wanted to enshrine Leona as a hero for his sacrifice, but that this decision was very unpopular with his advisors so he was buried in the Elephant Graveyard without much fanfare. He is an extremely popular figure with the hyenas, as is Ruggie. They see him as restoring the Kingdom's honor in a way by defeating the false king, something no other country in the apocalypse can claim, but things are still rough since they can't rely on tourism anymore and the blot has been making the weather really unpredictable, leading to bad harvests and starving people.

If Yuu was Leona's... losing them wouldn't have a noticeable affect on him but it was a massively crushing blow. We know he hates his unique magic because turning things to sand is a curse in the Savanna, but did it really have to be his own family this time? The family he got in spite of himself, the one fucking person who chose him no matter how much he snapped at them and tried to convince them to see him for what he was; a worthless dead end that would only hurt them. And what's worse is he knows that whoever took them had his brother's cooperation.

"Couldn't let me have this one fucking thing could you?" He's laughing as he says it and not even the irritation in his sister in law's eyes makes him back down. "Stuff it. I ain't stupid enough for whatever line you got fed and I don't care about your justifications. You're gonna have to live with this one on your own, Falena. Just like I have to."

He refuses to talk to his other family after that. No matter who is asking or making demands, taking Yuu and Yutu away from him is just one step too far. His brother probably thought that Yuu would be allowed to come home and that's why he let them go, but that's not exactly an excuse Leona would be willing to accept from anyone, let alone the supposed leader of a state. He almost feels relived when the blot phantoms start wreaking things, Leona might just want to sleep until you come to wake him up again but fighting things gives him an excuse to get his mind off things. Dying is a relief, he doesn't have to deal with Idia's whining or living without you any longer than he already has. His only regret is that he had to take Ruggie with him.

I really love this fanart and head cannon fima11 had of Leona's hair being light when he was born, and the color getting darker as he grows, so the idea of something similar happening with Leona! Yutu when he's born is really sweet. Leona's hair sort of resembles a mane, it'd be cute if Leona! Yutu's did the same. And genetics are already so weird I don't think any earth doctors would like too much of it.

Leona! Yutu is a sleepy boy. His hobby is napping and his favorite place in the whole wide world is his bed. He has a bad habit of laying face first in his pillows because he snores pretty loudly and he doesn't want to wake anyone up, which sort of makes him look like he has passed out as opposed to just settled down for a good snooze.

Because he is being raised by a single parent in the human world and not a bunch of gossipy servants hired by emotionally neglectful royalty, Yutu is significantly less entitled than Leona is. He has good sense with his money and can work hard, he just has a bit of a problem with resting bitch face that leaves people thinking he is rude. And to be fair? If someone is testing his patience then he really can be. Apple didn't fall far from the tree, Yutu is absolutely brutal when people test his patience.

Yuu's memories of Leona don't exactly help with his perceived behavior problems, they recall Leona's catty personality and how rude he could be, but that he was so remarkably clever and so very strong, that they were in awe of him sometimes. I think they would mention that he struggled with depression due to a difficult upbringing and feel a need to make sure Yutu felt appreciated and like he could do anything he set his mind to, no matter who he was born as. Yutu just takes that to mean that being a bitch runs in the family and he fully intends to ride that excuse to the bank.

It's a nice thought but Yutu feels a bit conflicted by it. He has no doubt that Yuu will always love and support him, but other people? Yuu might be able to ignore what their neighbors say about them but Yutu can hear them loud and clear. They think Yuu's amnesia is an act, and that he's a weirdo freak. Not to mention they don't have any money so even if he wanted to be a doctor or something like that going to school would be a bit of a pain, even with his grades. He finds school to be boring, and even when he gets bullied by one of the coaches in to taking up a sport because of how strong he is it doesn't help much.

I could see him being very into space and astronomy because he feels like he doesn't belong in your world. He knows a lot of downright stupid stuff about UFO sightings and aliens even though he doesn't believe in them. He is SO DISAPPOINTED when Twisted Wonderland turns out to have no conspiracy theories to talk about, can't think the moon landing was faked if you never had one after all. If the world wasn't literally ending he would be pushing for the Sunset Savanna to win the space race, c'mon guys it is in our name everything the light touches totally expands to the stars-

Like the other beastmen Yutus he maintains his instincts, even in your world. He is extremely territorial about his things and especially your home. Like Cater! Yutu, he has strong feelings of nostalgia for your world, but unlike him it has nothing to do with the monsters or hardships. Lions just tend to stay in the same place for a long time so moving to entirely different world and ecosystem makes him feel weird, even if he prefers his beastfolk body to his human one.

Gets put in Savanaclaw by the mirror. He might like space but his preferred type of argument is rearranging someone's dental work before asking them to explain themselves. He'd be terrible at defending a thesis.

Leona! Yutu's place in the Sunset Savanna hierarchy is tricky. I think, as Yutu is his brother's child, Falena would want some sort of relationship with him as he does clearly love his brother. What makes that hard is that as far as the government is concerned, Leona is dead and that's the end of his part of the family line. Acknowledging that he had a son could further destabilize the already tense political situation in the Savanna since Leona's sacrifice is already a point of conflict between the royal family and a portion of their people. While Crewel has no problem telling Yutu about his father since he has a right to know, the fact that he is technically a prince is completely hidden from him for a long time.

We haven't really played with this idea yet, but I sort of like Leona having a ghost that hangs around his grave sometimes. Idia arranges for Yutu to go there on a day he thinks he'll be hanging around and while Yutu doesn't get to talk to his father he does get to see him and the look of pride in his eyes when the grumpy lion realizes who he is. Leona gets to pass on and be with Yuu while Yutu gets a lesson from his cousin about the concept of the great Kings living on in the sky and how the past lives on in him. Because while Cheka understand his dad's concerns like hell is he not going to meet his favorite cousin. His enthusiasm is really exhausting to Yutu, he appreciates the fact that someone has nice things to say about his dad but he isn't too sure how much he trusts this guy.

Oh right one more thing, I don't want to say each of the Savanaclaw boys would pass their magic on to their Yutu's so if we ever get around to Jack he won't, but Leona should pass on King's Roar to his kid. Causing a drought might be considered a curse but I want to say Leona! Yutu wears it with pride. He loves his roar and that despite all the effort put in to erasing Leona from existence he still lives in him. His head is fit to wear the crown, no matter what anyone says.

Leona clocks what Yutu is the instant he steps out of the portal. It's all in the kid's scent and what runes he used to make the jump. He takes some time to think about what it could mean and comes to a few conclusions. Firstly, if he has a kid with you then he will always have some sort of relationship with you, no not in the yandere possessive way (mostly), he just knows enough about himself and his wants to know that having a kid would not be something he did by accident. If he did that at some point in the future it would be because you were going to stay with him forever and he actually believed that. Something that clearly did not get to happen because of how protective Yutu is of his parent.

Yutu was a bit confused if he should go about interacting with his dad or even ask about him so you can imagine his surprise when he stops by Ramshackle to see Leona half asleep on the couch.

"Oh sorry Yuu isn't here-"

"I know." Leona doesn't even open his eyes, and is he seriously wearing his shoes on the couch? Yuu would kill him for that it's so unsanitary.

"Um. Ok I'll just leave you be the-"

"Why'd you travel back in time?" Oh Leona's eyes are open now and there is something about that stare that's nailing Yutu to his spot and tempting his tail between his legs. His dad must notice because he laughs and shakes his head. "Seriously? If that's all it takes to scare you shitless we really are fucked."

Leona doesn't outright say he knows he's his dad, but Yutu gathers that's probably the case from the difference in his attitude around him compared to everyone else. There's a degree of coldness and severity to Leona when he's giving orders that really isn't present when he's talking to him about overblots or his theories about who is responsible for the bad future. He's almost playful about it, like he is messing with a cub. Which Yutu supposes that he is but still, he doesn't like being treated like a kid. Something he very much regrets telling Leona because holy shit his dad is strong just like Yuu said he was.

I think Leona would make him play chess against him a lot. You can learn a lot about a person by playing chess with them, and since it's something Leona really likes to do he would enjoy sharing it with his son. I think he would also get a kick out of seeing Yutu get really competitive with him about it. Maybe there is some lion in this kid after all.

Leona also makes a subtle effort to teach him about how the court of the Sunset Savanna works. I think Leona would sort of enjoy the fact that his kid didn't grow up as royalty just because it meant he was free of the pressures that he had, but hate everything else he learned about Yutu's childhood. It inspires him to think a bit deeper about how he is going to address this when Yutu is born in this timeline, though he is admittedly lacking on solutions beyond refusing to die this time. He must have been really far gone to even consider making a heroic sacrifice that's not like him at all.

He does get the appeal of his father sort of? Sure he's lazy, but he is extremely intelligent and clearly a lot more knowledgeable about literally everything than Yutu thought he was. When they're working together he sees a very impressive person and reliable leader. When he sees Leona interact with you he has questions. Why do you let him pick fights with you so often? Yutu can tell he's making heart eyes at how you fight back but that's because he's a beatman himself so he can read his body language. And he's not crazy about how he orders you around because if his father is a Prince... wouldn't that mean by marrying him you would also be royalty? He is so confused...

Meanwhile Leona isn't rushing things just because he knows you return his feelings at some point. He wants you to choose to be with him of your own free will, wants the feeling that comes with knowing you did that and he is willing to play the game to get that. Every milestone he reaches is so much sweeter for knowing that he got you on his efforts alone, crappy attitude and all.

The reveal to Yuu, much like the reveal to Yutu is extremely mundane. Leona invites you to spend the night with him sometime after you get together and he asks you while you're curled up on his chest and he's holding you just a bit too tight (not because he's afraid you'll run, not at all) how you would feel if you could never go home.

"A little upset." Because you had resigned yourself to the possibility a long time ago now. There's a chance you're only in Twisted Wonderland because you died in your world anyway, might as well be grateful you're still kicking. "And if you stayed and things went bad here, would you still be alright with that?" You don't hesitate at all to his surprise. "I think I'd be safe if I was with you." Well he really hates to prove you wrong but you still deserve to know.

Leona is weirdly quiet in his anger. He roars sure, but that's to exert control. When he's mad he just gets smug and says a lot of hurtful stuff. He leaves the screaming to Yuu, and I could see a Yuu that got with Leona only to learn they didn't get to spend the rest of their life with him doing a lot of screaming. Preventing the apocalypse is a team effort now but first Yutu and Leona are getting scolded for not letting Yuu in on the secret sooner. Leona is down bad horrendous and Yutu wants to die, he hates making you mad.

If I had to make a list of characters I would trust to find a solution to an apocalypse, Leona would actually be pretty close to the top. He is going to bitch about it the entire way, but if he were given the facts before things went too sideways, I think he would be able to make a good plan to set them straight. And there is no way anyone is going to tell him that he managed to have something as precious to him as Yuu taken away from him and not have him do something about it. He'll swallow his pride and take his licks when he has to, but not on this. Never on this, whoever thought he'd just roll over and die is going to shatter in his hands and be like dust on the wind. He really hopes they have enough sense to be prepared....

[ginnyw-potter]

Commenting etiquette

Yes, we do need to talk about it. And I'm not talking about the hateful comments, there are mean people everywhere. I'm talking about people who enjoy the fic but don't seem to get that across entirely.

I frequently hear other writers get so discouraged by unmindful comments and it's something I've experienced too.

And I absolutely do not want to get people scared to comment, because the majority of comments are good and wonderful, I just hope a few do's and don'ts help everyone along.

You do not know the writer and the writer doesn't know you Most of the time, you do not have any rapport going with the writer or very little, unless you are besties who are in each other's PMs. What that means

It is really difficult to guess people's tone and intentions from a few words in a comment box, especially if they're dubious. So don't make them dubious! It's so easy to say I like...., I enjoyed... Put it in there, please (more tips below)

You don't know what people are going through There can be about 700 reasons a writer doesn't update... maybe they don't feel like it, maybe life got in the way, sometimes people go an have babies, or their house burns down! The dreaded AO3 curse! So, be kind, always. You are getting free words. Writers do not owe you an update when you want, no matter what humongous cliff hanger they left you on

It's so easy to be misunderstood online.

"But I want an update!"

Yeah, I get it. you're excited! But asking for an update is hardly ever going to land well. What you can say instead of 'When do you update?' (or other, ruder, options and double question marks often come across as rude. leave them at home) is 'I am eagerly awaiting an update!' You're still letting them know you're filled with excitement for an update, but you're not demanding it. Important note: If you say this, please let it not be the only thing you write. Say a little more as to why. If you want an update, you surely know why.

... So how do you write a good comment?

(Obviously there are a lot of ways to write great comments, but here are a few pointers for people who get anxious leaving a comment.)

Say you are enjoying the fic or the chapter. it's so easy. This is the bare minimum if you comment, in my humble opinion I love this fic This chapter was amazing This fic lives in my head rent-free!

Point out things you liked or tell what the fic did with your emotions I really loved it when x went to x and confessed their love I was at the edge of my seat the whole time! Crying over this fic, it's so perfectly angsty

You can express sentiment about the further story, but do it well I can't wait to find out about x I will be wondering about x until next update I am so entranced, I am so excited to find out more about x When you update I'm going to be first in line to read!

Any other sentiments, a thank you note or the likes are nice, or leave more kudos by pasting in the more kudos images (it's so easy, and posts tend to have instructions) link here

Example of a good comment:

I love this fic so much I have literally not stopped reading until I was caught up When she was almost run over by the bus, my heart stopped and I was so relieved when she made it! I loved the bit where he helps her clean up the tea spill, so sweet and tender. I wonder how she's going to explain that tea stain to her evil stepmother.... Thank you so much for this update!

You can also install the floating AO3 box, and I love to use it to already comment on particular things I liked as I go so I don't forget, and it easily let's you copy-paste bits into the comment box so you can point out exactly what you liked about it.

A lot of people have started treating fics as something to consume and don't see the writer behind it, and it's so sad to see people recommend people to only read finished fics, that don't comment or only to ask when they are getting more words. (I know if you've read this far you're likely not one of those.)

And then they're surprised their favourite author stopped posting, when that author may think their fic isn't liked by you (because you never took the time to say) or they lose the enjoyment of posting because people just always simply demand more, more and more.

In summary, be kind to your writer. they're a whole person who is putting wonderful stories out for you for free. they likely have a day job or school to get to and a 100 worries you know nothing about. I'm not the comment police, I can't tell you what to comment but I just hope you take into consideration how your comment is going to be received by the writer on the other side.

[orcinus-veterinarius]

So... it seems I accidentally deleted an ask rather than answering it. To whoever asked "is it okay to visit SeaWorld? Does the money go to giving the orcas good care?"... here is your answer!

The SeaWorld parks, as well as Busch Gardens, Discovery Cove, and a few others, are operated by the recently renamed United Parks and Entertainment, a for-profit theme park company. Like any other corporation, their first goal is to remain profitable. Obviously, a large portion of that goes to corporate leadership and shareholders. But that's far from unique to United, or theme parks in general. It's a byproduct of the greedy world we live in. If you're willing to buy a ticket to Disney or Six Flags, then buying a ticket to a SeaWorld or Busch Gardens is no more immoral.

According to the AZA, approximately 46% of their members are for-profit. And while AZA zoos certainly vary in quality (anywhere from "acceptable" to "exceptional" in my opinion), for-profit status does not cheapen or detract from the work they do. In fact, for-profit institutions often have more financial freedom for animal care and conservation efforts than their non-profit counterparts. Non-profit zoos and aquariums are wonderful places, but believe me when I say there's a startling amount of politics in every aspect of their management. Non-profit status does not automatically make a zoo better, and for-profit status does not automatically make a zoo worse.

Now... do SeaWorld ticket sales go toward giving their orcas (and other animals) good care? Yes.

While it's certainly simplistic for parks to claim, as they do, "just by buying a ticket today you're helping save animals in the wild!"... it's not exactly a lie. Being for-profit, SeaWorld doesn't ask for donations to fund park operations or outreach endeavours. That revenue is generated by selling tickets, merchandise, food, etc. The same goes for their wildlife rescue and rehab program, Rising Tide conservation program, Coral Rescue Center, and the SeaWorld-Busch Gardens Conservation Fund, as well as partner organizations like OCEARCH and the Hubbs-SeaWorld Research Institute.

Take ticket sales away, and they can't care for their animals, or continue to fund conservation projects. While I don't know the whole story of what exactly is going on with Marineland Antibes, it appears that the park is in a dire financial situation due to plummeting attendance, to the point that they can no longer maintain their killer whale habitat and are trying to offload their animals onto an Asian aquarium or, potentially, an as-of-yet non-existent third party sea pen. While certainly well-meaning, years of boycotts against Marineland ultimately put their animals in a position where they are not being properly cared for. And it would be horrifying if the same thing happened to SeaWorld. I don't think many people, in their fervor to punish the parks for their perceived misdeeds and save the animals, thought about what the reality of driving a zoological facility into financial ruin would look like.

Don't get me wrong, SeaWorld's shift toward promoting itself as a thrill park that also does conservation rather than a marine facility that happens to have roller coasters annoys me. I would have rather they built a separate, neighboring park for the rides, or at least integrated them into the existing park less obtrusively (Disney's Animal Kingdom, for example, seemlessly integrates the theme park and zoo elements, although they have the benefit of the incredibly talented Imagineering team behind them). But as tiresome as the constant roller coaster announcements are, they are what kept the company afloat financially in the years immediately following Blackfish, drawing in a crowd that previously had no interest in the parks, and for that I'm grateful. Thankfully, SeaWorld is in a better spot nowadays. But the only way to convince them that their animals, not their roller coasters, are what people want to see... is to visit and see the animals.

In short, yes, part of your SeaWorld ticket funds care for their orcas and their many admirable projects. Now if only more of it went to giving their staff better salaries.

[mikimakiboo]

Just like them

Nightmare angst !

Inspired by this post (the art in it precisely) by @signanothername, it's not the first time I see this concept and I wanted to do my own interpretation of it because, well, I love writing angst about Nightmare. So yeah it probably be quite different from how they described it in the post since I'm just taking the art (or the quote) as a source of inspiration :')

Finished writing it at 2:30am so it might be not that great

Tw: slight mention of bullying, little swearing

They were alone, their respective teams weren't there, they went out without them. Nightmare went out first, wanting to get some fresh air, and Dream, who felt the presence of his twin in another universe, decided to find him and stop whatever he was doing, fully believing that the only reason for his brother to go out was to cause chaos. He found him. He attacked first with an arrow, and Nightmare attacked back. It was an habit for Nightmare: being chased by Dream, fighting with him, throwing in some insults, he had done that countless times. It wasn't new. What was new however was Dream's anger. Dream was never angry.

A lot of things happen during fights. Physical attacks flow but it is also the place for verbal attacks, some being just as sharp as physical one, as the battle field is the only place for the two guardians, the two brothers, to talk.

Why was he angry ? Nightmare didn't know exactly, surely he was mad that recently Nightmare's team had been doing a good job in producing negativity, surely he was mad that his brother disturbed the peace so much. At least that was what he was yelling at him.

- Why can't we have balance ?! Why must it be that you always want more ?!

Nightmare smiled.

- Because I NEED more ! I don't care about your balance, I want more negativity and I WILL get more !

He was so hungry all the time, his corruption was powerful, he needed to feed it constantly, so obviously he needed more negativity and a balance wouldn't satisfy him, but Dream couldn't understand that. Nightmare already told him the reason, but he didn't listen, in Dream's opinion Nightmare simply needed to eat something else, to eat more real food, that was what he was doing, and it worked just fine. But Dream's magic wasn't as powerful as Nightmare's.

- That's just a selfish reason ! Causing harm to innocent people for you own benefit ! Want me to tell you who you make me think of when you act like that ?!

Nightmare tilted his head with curiosity.

- Please do tell me.

- The villagers !

Nightmare tensed.

- You're just like them if not worse ! Because at least they weren't doing it to everyone like YOU do !

Dream panted, he didn't like saying that, he knew the villagers hurt his brother back then, but being hurt wasn't a reason to hurt others, right ?

They looked at each other. Nightmare didn't answer. He usually always had something to say, but he stayed silent this time. Dream could have sworn the air became colder.

Without adding anything, Nightmare teleported, returning to the castle, in his room. Dream... didn't say what he thought he heard him say. He couldn't. That wouldn't make sense. Why would he compare him to.. to them when he knew what they have done ? Not only to his brother, but to himself as well ? Dream was also hurt by those villagers, he knew how horrible they were, surely he didn't want to say that...

A tentacle flew, smashing the nightstand. Nightmare's fist were shaking. How dared he say that ?! How dared he compare him with those piece of shit ?!

Another tentacle flew like the first one, throwing the bookshelf across the room, the books scattering all over the floor.

Someone knocked on the door.

- Boss ? You okay in there ?

Killer. Nightmare didn't want to see anyone at the moment. He took a deep breath, trying to sound as calm as possible.

- I'm fine. Leave.

There was a moment of silence before he heard the answer.

- If you say so... We're here if you change your mind tho, and, you know, wanna talk or somethin'...

- I said leave !

He yelled, his voice starting to shake as he felt his cheeks getting hotter with the frustration. He stayed still for a moment, just the time to hear Killer's footsteps getting farther until he finally left. He let out a loud grunt, kicking the trashcan. His brother had no right to call him that ! Who did he think he was ?! He was his brother, not his mother !

His mother... what would she even think about him ? He crossed the now messy bedroom, going to the window to look at the moon. What would she think about him ? Would she also think he was like the villagers ? Would she think he was worse ? Would she look at him with pity, knowing how much he suffered, and that his actions were commanded by fear, by a desire to survive ? He was six, he just wanted to live... Would she recognize that... ? Maybe she wouldn't care at all, she never cared about them before, why would she care now...

Nightmare felt a tear rolling on his face as his soul clenched in his chest. His cheeks burned for a moment before he let out a sob. He turned away from the window, sitting on his bed, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He was pathetic. He was the king of negativity, he was so strong, he wasn't supposed to be affected by anything, let alone words ! But these words struck harder than any arrow... He looked up, blinked, breathed through his mouth, trying not to cry, not to make any noise, as if being silent would make a difference, but the tears didn't stop and another sob went out of his opened mouth. He fell on his back, sniffling as he shut his eye, wiping his tears away, making room for new ones to appear.

He didn't want to be like the villagers, he really didn't. He despised them so much for what they did, for all the pain they put him through. Five hundreds years have passed and he still had nightmares about those dark days, they wouldn't leave him alone, not even after he made sure they were all dead. And now his own brother, the only one who knew about everything, thought he was worse than them ? Was he really that bad ? Everything he did he did it to survive, was it really a selfish reason ? Should he have died instead of holding on his small will to live ? Should he have let them kill him ? Did Dream want them to kill him ? Was it why he was constantly attacking him when he went out ? Did Dream want him dead so much that he was now trying to finish the job ? Did Dream hate him that much... ? He knew he was far from being a good brother, but wasn't Dream happy with him before the incident... ? Or was it an act... ?

He rolled on his side, stretching his arm to grab a pillow and shove his face against it, muffling his sobs in the soft surface, his whole chest burnt so much...

When he finally stopped crying a few minutes later and sat up he thought an eternity had passed, but the moon hadn't move in the sky. He got up, sniffled, wiped his cheek, and teleported again.

He appeared in a void, in front of a bean bag on which he let himself fall.

- Hey...

- Hey.

A glitchy skeleton answered, sitting on a second bean bag next to the first one, crocheting and visibly unbothered by his surprise visitor.

They sat in silence for a while before Error looked up at Nightmare, looking at him above his red glasses.

- You look like you're about to kill yourself.

Nightmare shifted on the bag, looking at the fake ceiling. He talked in a whisper.

- Do you think I'm just like them... ?

- Like who ?

Error asked.

- The villagers... Dream said I was like them...

Error knew about the bullying, Nightmare told him some time ago. He put his crochet down.

- And you believe him ? This asshole insults you and you listen to him ?

Nightmare looked down.

- He.. he wouldn't be wrong to think that...

Error held up a hand.

- No. I don't want to hear any of that. You are nothing like those douche bags.

He began, Nightmare looking up at him, looking so tired.

- I mean look at you, look at your boys, look at what you've done for them, to give them a second chance, a place and a reason to live, you saved them. If you were like the villagers you would have never done that. Dream doesn't know shit about you.

- I... I guess...

- Now if he wants to think you are like the villagers because it's easier for him to blame you than to actually understand you, then good for him ! But you're worth more than that and you know that what he says is not true. So stop letting it get to you like that, 'kay ?

- Okay...

Nightmare weakly smiled, looking at the ceiling again. He heard Error take back his crochet.

- Good.

He stayed here with the destroyer, not wanting to go back to his room yet. He would have to apologize to Killer when he came back, he didn't mean to yell at him when he was just worried. The villagers never apologized, even when he held them in front of him, chocking them with a tentacle, they didn't apologize. Maybe Error wasn't wrong. Dream didn't know him as him and his boys knew him, he only saw the surface, maybe he was just looking for someone to blame, and Nightmare was the only one left... he wasn't like the villagers, he knew it, Error knew it, his boys knew it, wasn't that all that truly mattered ? That the ones he cared about knew he was better than that ? Surely it did. It was all that should matter, Dream's opinion shouldn't matter, he shouldn't listen to him, he didn't know anything.

Maybe he was a monster in Dream's eyes, but he wasn't one for his family, and that was all he cared about.

- end -

[lunar-wandering]

anyways as i mentioned earlier here is my absolutely nuts 'analysis' of Boboiboy having autism, and how each of the seven elementals kinda showcase a heightened version of an autism symptom-

so we're gonna go down in order (of manifestation for the elements)-

Boboiboy himself- he's just got the vibe, y'know? But also; it's been established he had no friends prior to moving in with his grandfather, which, y'know, is quite strange for a "normal" kid his age. He also tends to look at the people around him to know how to react in certain social situations (usually the person he looks to is Gopal which. Isn't always the best choice). Also the strong sense of justice is obvious (including that he goes so far as to help villains as well). (Yes this can be an autism symptom).

Halilintar (Thunderstorm). hear me out. Halilintar manifested due to overstimulation. I mean obviously the phobia of balloons is a huge factor here- but being in distress due to loud sounds is exactly one of the things that causes overstimulation for autistic people (could contribute to why he has this fear in the first place). One of the ways people might react to overstimulation is by becoming irrationally angry. Basically what I'm saying is that Halilintar spends most of his time on the edge of a meltdown-

Taufan (Cyclone). autistic joy. listen LISTEN. it's DIFFERENT from other people's joy, okay? a lot of autistic people experience emotions very intensely, it can full out take over you. also as far as i remember (it's been a while) he was the only one who had such an intense reaction to the mood changing potion- sure, the other people who had it were locked in one emotion, but none of them went as wild as he did- because he felt it a lot more intensely.

Gempa (Earthquake). i will admit, i struggled for a moment with Gempa- but honestly i think it's because he is, in my opinion, the one who's the most similar to OG Boboiboy. other than the heightened need to protect, which likely includes the sense of justice, I think Gempa is the one who masks the most out of all the elements. This is also why he seems to be the most neutral element.

Blaze and Ice. I'm doing these two together, because technically, their origin points are from the same thing: Burnout. It's just two very different responses to it. On the one side, Blaze is trying to, ironically enough considering the name, prevent burnout, by relieving stress (by doing things in the middle of night while no-one is looking and there's no pressure of social interaction). When there is too much stress, he falls into an overstimulated state similar to Halilintar's. On the other side, Ice represents the more depressed side of burnout- aka what happens after you actually burn out. It's why he's tired all the time.

Duri (Thorn). Okay so technically Thorn first manifested in battle but we're ignoring that. His tier 1 manifestation, as we all know, was mainly most definitely because Boboiboy got a concussion- but! Here's the thing; I don't think the concussion is why Thorn acts the way he does (though it's probably a part of it). I think, Thorn is just unmasked. The others all mask on some level, but Thorn just, doesn't. He doesn't really care how others might perceive him if he does 'childish' things or says things that no-one else understands because they didn't make the same connections he did, and he certainly doesn't care that deadpan telling someone their outfit is terrible might hurt their feelings, it doesn't even occur to him. He doesn't mask at all.

Solar. Again, technically manifested during battle. However once again we are ignoring that. It was established that the manifest condition for Solar (as Light), was for the elemental master (Boboiboy) to "expand their knowledge", and "read more". And, well, I know Boboiboy specifically read a bunch of science and history books and stuff, but honestly I don't think it really would've mattered what he chose to use to expand his knowledge, because Solar's main autistic trait is special interest. Because Boboiboy mainly focused on science and stuff, that became Solar's special interest, hence why he rambles off about formulas and stuff, and why he likes doing experiments. He hyperfixates on that stuff.

now. i could do the fusions... but honestly i haven't thought about the fusions enough to draw conclusions, so we're sticking with this

[antianakin]

hey, just wanted to say that i appreciate you creating this space to discuss more uh....unpopular takes on star wars. obviously fandom is a hobby and i don't want to ruin anyone's fun! but i also want a space to push back against fanon interpretations without treading on anyone's toes, you know?

like the whole obi-wan catholic guilt trope, jedi repression trope at large...i'm being dramatic but as an asian person, sometimes it sucks that this is such a prevalent idea about a heroic group that was influenced by buddhism and is very asian-coded. i'm not wording this well but just like how stories about european knights often reflect *the very best* of western values like chivalry, honor, gentility, i could really see a lot of the best of asian culture (a huge over-simplification) in the jedi.

but all that being reduced to "oh actually it's totally catholic guilt" or a inadvertently a regurgitation of prevalent asian stereotypes (the jedi as a group suppress individuality, they don't express emotions, they are too harsh, too unforgiving, lack compassion) is...frustrating to see, even though it's everyone's right to interpret & relate to things as they see fit.

especially when focused on obi-wan! even if we assume that obi-wan is repressed, secretly attached to an unhealthy degree but hiding it, or whatnot - the man quite literally airs the dirty laundry in front of mace and yoda, perhaps the "highest" members of the jedi. he says that he thinks anakin is arrogant, isn't listening to him. i dunno but a repressed person who hates confrontation and vulnerability probably wouldn't do that. he should've gone "haha nope anakin and i are totally fine masters, totally fine" instead of looking for advice & airing out his frustrations.

people getting angry at obi-wan for putting the jedi order over anakin is still annoying, but at least accurate. like yes! obi-wan does put the good of his culture and the galaxy at large over his old padawan! good for him!

but honestly all popular fanon obi-wan tropes go round on a roulette wheel waiting for me to pick one to be petty about lmao.

I definitely get what you mean about wanting a space to push back on common fanon interpretations without stepping on anyone's toes. That's obviously exactly why I made this blog in the first place. It's why I named the blog "antianakin" at all, it's supposed to be a giant neon warning sign to people that I'm not going to feel ashamed of some of my more negative opinions. It's why I use anti and critical tags as much as possible, and don't use the more general tags most of the time (aside from just... "star wars"). This is my space to put my feelings out there, positive AND negative, and I work really hard to make sure I'm not invading spaces that are meant for being positive.

I also often don't reblog people's posts that I completely disagree with JUST to talk about why I don't like their take. I won't invade someone's Jedi critical post in order to tell them that they're wrong about Star Wars. People have tried to tag me into posts like that, but I'm not interested in doing that kind of thing. If I DO want to say something about what I've seen, I make my own post about the issue.

It's interesting that you mention that stories about European knights often reflect what's viewed as the best of Western values, because so often when I see people talk about what would make the Jedi BETTER (or Legends versions of the Jedi that they think were done better), it's usually pretty clear that the Jedi are being turned INTO your more typical European knight to reflect those exact values. They're often wandering on their own, doing what they personally believe to be right whenever and wherever they want, defending the helpless wherever they find them by just riding in on a white horse and slaying an enemy or a monster. And of course some of those values they uphold are about what love and relationships should look like, too, so they all end up in committed monogamous relationships (even if it's with more than one person, it's still usually monogamous). This is one of the reasons I started getting frustrated with the High Republic novels by the third one because it started having that vibe that the "good" Jedi who stuck to more "traditional" ways of doing things and "traditional" values were so much more like your typical European knight, while the Jedi character doing something more modern and more political was losing his way and struggling with a desire for things he was repressing.

It's a feeling we've seen come up time and time again and it keeps getting tossed out in more recent shows, too, the idea that the Jedi "lost their way" from what they should've been, that they once used to represent something worthwhile and losing those traditional values is what caused their destruction and the only way to keep it from happening again is to go back to that. It's not hard to see where that storyline feels compelling, obviously, but it IS sad to see the values that the Jedi DO have in the Prequels in particular getting tossed aside as unworthy and to see their defeat being rewritten as THEIR failure instead of everyone else's.

I've had people tell me that this story feels like it has more nuance to it than the Jedi simply being the heroic victims and the Sith being pure villains. And I get why people think that, I just think that there's a lot of nuance they're MISSING in the story being told, and that that nuance exists EVEN WITH the Jedi still being the heroic victims and the Sith being clear villains. I am more than happy to help critique some of the WAYS that that story got told in the Prequels, the issues in the structure of the Prequels and how it maybe muddied some of the messages that the story was trying to get across, but I also think that that critique is SEPARATE from my feelings on the intended narrative itself. I don't think that the narrative itself is bad or lacking in nuance simply because it may not have been told perfectly. And, personally, I think that some of the more "nuanced" Jedi critical takes often seem INCREDIBLY simplistic themselves.

As for Obi-Wan, fandom will do what fandom does to its darlings. I've certainly done my fair share of simplifying my faves down to shadows of themselves because I happened to enjoy the shadow sometimes in its own right. But I do think that there's plenty of evidence to contradict a lot of people's more popular interpretation of Obi-Wan as a repressed, damaged, traumatized waif. I don't mind a LITTLE of that sometimes, usually when I read fics set in the early years of his apprenticeship with Qui-Gon following some of the events of Jedi Apprentice, but it comes with the context that Obi-Wan is still VERY YOUNG at the time and is dealing with some fairly specific things that have just happened to him and is still learning how to do that in a healthy way.

By the time you hit The Phantom Menace and ESPECIALLY the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan should no longer be a repressed, traumatized waif of a person. That's when it stops being believable to me because the character we see on screen in that time period never fits that description. Like you said, he's ACTIVELY confrontational to his superiors. He does do it with Mace and Yoda (and he does it in ROTS as well as in AOTC) and he does it with Qui-Gon during his apprenticeship, too.

The one other time I was willing to accept some of this characterization was in the Kenobi show where we do see him being more repressed and traumatized and less willing to stand up for himself when faced with confrontation with people like Owen. But one of the reasons this worked for me is because, much like with those JA fics, it comes with a VERY SPECIFIC CONTEXT, and it's done with the intentional purpose of giving Obi-Wan somewhere to develop. He also doesn't stay particularly submissive or waif-like for long, we see him gain back a LOT of his willingness to stand up for himself and confront people by the second episode. The message wasn't that Obi-Wan had ALWAYS been damaged and traumatized or that he was always "meant" for sadness or whatever, but that he had the capacity to find happiness IF HE CHOOSES TO ACT LIKE THE JEDI HE ONE WAS. The only reason he's struggling is because he ISN'T acting like a Jedi anymore. He's not finally figuring out how to handle his traumas, he's GOING BACK to being the person who can handle his traumas.

Anyway, yeah, I feel you, I have definitely experienced the roulette wheel of petty frustration at fandom interpretations of Obi-Wan lol. I can barely handle the "he drops his lightsaber all the time" joke because I feel like it often makes him come across as childishly incompetent.

[luminouslywriting]

Hi, I'm here to make a request, first of all I AM OBSESSED WITH RONALD SPEIRS!!, so I was wondering if you could make some headcanons about what it would be like to marry him, basically what the wedding day would be like and everything it would include, (please Let it be a big wedding...I think I have a problem with exorbitant celebrations 😭😭)

You could also add about what role each Easy boy would take at the wedding and everything. Also that the reader there was part of the company

^^Gif not mine^^

A/N: Love, this is a wonderful request and I'm so sorry that it's taken so long for me to get to it. I'm sick so I'm taking my sick day to respond to a few of my requests haha!

Cut for length, paragraph form, more below the cut, some light spice included:

-Ronald Speirs and a wedding is a surprising match made in heaven and you can't convince me otherwise. He's happy to go to a courthouse and elope if that's what you want. But if you want the whole white wedding in full tradition? He's also happy to oblige such a request. I think that in general, he's the type to let you plan to your heart's content, but if you want him to be involved, he will in fact, have an opinion about the color of napkins and the amount of flowers haha.

-If you're stressed out in the days leading up to the wedding, rest assured that this man is a GREAT stress reliever. He knows exactly how to get your mind off of things—and if those wicked ways happen to include his fingers or his mouth, then he's all too happy about it anyway.

-Knowing the fact that you want the full traditional wedding means that he is going to need some groomsmen and there's no way that he wouldn't invite the men of Easy Company to the wedding

-That being said, the invitations were out well in advance and while everyone was pleasantly surprised to be invited to said wedding, they're also very jazzed about the entire thing

-Lipton is obviously his best man

-Everyone else had to be fought over in a wild game of rock paper scissors to decide who ends up on what side of the wedding party

-Other groomsmen for him include Dick Winters, Babe Heffron, Perconte, Martin, Donald Malarkey, David Webster, and Joe Toye.

-Your side of the wedding party got Lewis Nixon, Bull Randleman, Joe Liebgott, Buck Compton, Eugene Roe, Floyd Talbert, Shifty, and Bill Guarnere.

-Put Nixon in charge of the bar for the reception, I beg of you

-Winters had a lot of fun getting to plan so much and being involved in everything

-The others were a little chaotic, to say the least

-The rings were held onto by Lipton

-Anywho, the wedding goes off without a single hitch (mostly because poor Dick Winters and Carwood Lipton are working overtime behind the scenes to ensure that it's the best and most smooth operation to date)

-The vows definitely make a few people shed tears (and yes, Speirs is all too pleased by that)

-The reception would last for hours and hours, well into the night

-And when the two of you slip away while everyone is drinking so you can leave to the honeymoon and the only two people you get to say goodbye to are Winters and Lipton, neither one of you truly mind haha

-10/10 would have these men assemble a wedding