#also this is literally in the spon like can we-

[themostfuniveverhad]

<3

[prncessjaeger]

making slime with bf!eren ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

ღsypnosis: the title…that’s it!

ღan: i wrote this already but changed it up a bit and boom here it is

“bro, why can’t we just get the big things of glue instead of buying these small ass bottles?” it was late at night, possibly around 11 pm, and you and eren were currently in walmart after he brought up the cute idea to make some slime. “because, it’s just for us two, we’re only getting one clear and one white glue bottles, now what’s next?”

“uh the borax solution…but all i see is this big ass white box.”

“that’s the solution.” eren examined the box, “how in the fuck does powder and glue make slime?”

“you have to add water i think, that’s what mikasa said, now we need food coloring, choose a colors, “ he picked out the yellow one and you chose pink (obviously), “do you want your slime to have a scent? or any add-ons?”

“you can do that?!” he screeched, scaring the other few shoppers, “sorry,” he bashfully said, rubbing the back of his neck, “why’re you apologizing, people have heard worse, they’ll live. anyways, yes you can do that so pick the ones you want, imma do strawberries…”

he scanned through them, picking out a strong vanilla scent, “okay and we’re gonna get some glitter and a couple of spons and bowls, that’s it.”

paying for your things, you drove back to the house with all your slime supplies and some extra snacks and when you walked in, you saw your cat in armin’s arms, being swung around like nothing, “boy put my baby down?!”

“oh come on, she likes it, right??” the cat just meowed and meowed, “right! talk yo shit, pookie!”

“girl hush, come eren,” you went to the back and got the materials laid out on your spare table you made armin set up for you, and began to make your slime. when you poured the amount you wanted, eren leaned over, “wow, you’re like insanely cool, and talented, and beautiful, and also really intelligent-“

“what do you want, eren?”

“could you pour my glue i’m scared ?”

“scared- i’m not even gonna ask, hand me the one you want,” he handed you the white glue to pour, “what color?”

“the one that’s not pink.” you dropped a couple of yellow dye in, “now i wanna make my slime. mix it until you see no white left,” he began mixing while you started on yours, hearing the loud music from the living room armin blasted, “i don’t know who’s worse, you or armin-“

“woah i’m like the perfect boyfriend ever-“

“you literally thought dwayne johnson and the rock were twins eren..”

“hear me out cause it makes sense if one was wrestling and the other twin acts!” staring at this man in disbelief, “eren why do you think they added “the rock” in parentheses of dwayne johnson?”

“to acknowledge the limited space on the screen?”

“okay, you know what! let’s just finish making this,” you chuckled, trying not to laugh in this man’s face. you added the glitter in, “alright now add your vanilla scent in and added a small amount of mine in the pink one as well, i’ll make the solution.”

once you were finished, you both begane pour solution in the bowl and watched how it clumped together, “alright you got your gloves on?”

“yep, let’s knead it together,” you both began playing with your slime, “uh y/n…” you turn towards eren sighing deeply, “oh my god.”

he was covering in slime from the top of his head to the middle of his chest, “how did you- i don’t even wanna ask, come here.”

and the rest of the night was spent with you and armin trying to get slime out of his hair, “eren! stay still goddamnit!”

“ow! you popped me!”

“oh shut up!”

[phansweat]

audible spon

duuuude this sucks

being a dan and phil fan, i cant help but notice there silence during the genocide happening in Palestine. it was only dan who made one tweet and phil only retweeted it. he didnt even have words of his own so he just used dans and full offense to dan but he didnt even say "Free Palestine" in his post.

i dont understand how the term Free Palestine can be so political. like was he afraid to say it? i know they see everything online thats happening and i also know they see us online and what we say (i hope) matters to them. i went to tweet under the new video to inform anyone who doesnt know that audible supports israel in the genocide of the Palestinian people and there already where fans informing them of their mistake. it took me one google search. and its literally code philester. like thats your name my guy. attached to this company that is no good.

i hope they can educate themselves and take responsibility for their platform to help aid and inform others about the Palestinian genocide.

PLEASE from now until SUNDAY the 28th STRIKE against the people killing the innocent. do not buy and if you need to only get necessities. do not buy during this time to show our governments we mean what we say. please BOYCOTT companies that support israel (google is free). AND PLEASE CALL YOUR REPS.

(I say all of this as someone who has a decently small but still sizable audience on tt and insta and im not saying im perfect but im posting and reposting and i think its important to share the atrocities happening to whoever i can even to my niche small audience.)

Do not be quiet is what im saying. every little bit helps and im honestly really disappointed again that dan and phil did this.

[ward-leon]

okay so. does anyone remember that one commercial breaker post i made a while back

heres how him and his eventual demise NOT being noclipped out of the story could get another character (conspiracy guy - they/them-ed for convenience) or two (conspiracy guy + knight commander) some development (although this is. uh. mostly conspiracy guy-focused since they were the one who caused said demise. whoopsie)

reeeeeally slight spoilers for twa season two and a bit of season one

The Bitches At Play, from left to right:

Sir Adblock

Knight Commander McStabbypants

Sir Pop-up Crusher

Sir Newguy/Conspiracy Guy in disguise

Sir Adnnihilator

Commercial Breaker

so. conspiracy guy.

say whatever you want abt them, but they are somewhat of an asshole. they are snarky, arrogant, rude, hypocritical, they outright deny that anything is going wrong when things *are*, in fact, going wrong (re: that episode where they get chomped by an eldritch hand monster off-screen) (you could argue that this shows conspiracy guy coping through denial, and i will not stop you), they had at least 1 person mind-controlled and might have ordered to torture another for info off-screen + could have left their sidekick to die in the only episode where said sidekick makes an appearance. and, yk, they backstabbed a guy (commercial breaker). HOWEVER.

they were also shown to have some. Doubts. about what they're doing (im just re: that one scene when all of the remaining chains on megacorp's greed box break, although that happens after the Plot Noclip, and thats it)

you know what we weren't shown before the whole commercial breaker thing? THEM OUTRIGHT KILLING A GUY (considering anything outside of spons wars that i missed non-canon here)

so from this we can deduce that they operate at a distance. they may employ assassins (re: this, which might not be true bc it was written by chainsaw (allegedly The Manliest Man Of All Time))-

- and talk shit about others, but they haven't actually killed anyone!

until now!!

here's the thing:

in this case, conspiracy guy is in disguise. they have no allies (the knights don't count here). so, after committing the murder, while they're hiding the body and disposing of the evidence (when everyone else is busy with something), they have time to think about what they have done.

yes, they may have disposed of a potential enemy, but...

it's the first time they've caused someone to go pale, become limp, drop onto the ground as the person in question bleeds out on the floor, murmuring something in pain

they had to carry the heavy corpse somewhere where it couldn't be seen, hide the blood trail, and, if any blood got onto the box they were wearing, cut out the bloody parts or change it entirely

they had to leave the murder weapon there

with any remaining traces quite literally buried under piles of money

and go back to the others, pretending that everything was fine

and wouldn't all that fuck up a person, severely?

this is when, in the next episode, the before-mentioned Plot Noclip happens.

but we're heading to Speculation Land instead :)

knight commander could mention someone missing! keep the stupid-ass reasoning for conspiracy guy not being accused first if you want! (make it genuine denial or sarcasm idk)

maybe even postpone the whole "feeling guilty for killing a guy" thing by making conspiracy guy deny the victim any personhood, writing him off as unimportant In The Grand Scheme Of Things and not worth their time until the knights eventually start grieving a bit while trying to put on a brave face because Holy Fuck They Lost Like Two Out Of Five Members Already (and conspiracy guy can't get away from all that because all of them are at the rebels' base now and they have to figure out how to defeat greed)

what im saying is, conspiracy guy could have even more doubt about What The Shit They've Been Doing All This Time (including the fact that greed was awakened bc of the villains - including conspiracy guy - chasing for sponsors + money here) and maybe develop as a character, reconsider their methods and allat, while dealing with the guilt of killing a person!!!

not to mention what happens if someone finds out!!!! they could have consed the quences for once!!!!! put their relationship with some future allies (when the knights and the other villains are operating with similar goals in mind (defeat greed)) in disrepair, even!!! give knight commander trust issues or something!!! that'd be reasonable to have given the situation at hand

((and. well. conspimmander enjoyers get that sweet sweet angst juice, ofc))

anyway thats it :3

thank you for reading this far!!!!! id love to hear your thoughts on this but its optional dw!!!

[manchestereyes]

y'all... can i be sappy about dnp for a minute?

i needed to see those 2009 posts tonight. it's finally hitting me that i'll almost definitely be seeing my crush in 10 days. (it's not confirmed since we've never talked but the concert i'm going to that day is near where he lives and headlined by 2 of our favorite bands soooo...) and on my drive home from work today, i was panicking about that and considering backing out entirely. like, in all honesty, this trip is INSANE. i'm traveling 1000 miles for something that may not even work out (sound familiar?). but i will be seeing 3 of my favorite bands so it'll be worth it regardless.

but then i saw the december 2009 phannie posts ALL over my dash. and i went back and looked at everything dnp were saying about each other in those posts. and it absolutely restored my hope.

it's no secret that my (ok parasocial right now but) relationship with my crush is extremely similar to dnp's. my crush makes youtube videos talking about music, mostly deep dives on specific artists/bands that are beautifully thought out. i wouldn't call him A YouTuber though since he also has a day job and never does spons. (some of you may be able to guess who it is now lmao) we may not have ever talked, but i do feel like from everything he's said in his videos, we would connect really well. (i know i know but stay with me here!) plus he's an aquarius and i'm a gemini. so like... we kind of are dan and phil. with me obviously being dan. and to see 2009 dan's dreams coming true with the guy he'd been crushing on for ages gives me so much hope. "the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." that's literally all i've wanted for so many years now. if i can actually make things work with this guy, i will be SO deliriously happy. and just like with dnp, i think it'll be incredibly healing. ❤️

[cyarsk52-20]

Vanderpump Rules Reunion Recap: The Trailer Park

Photo: Nicole Weingart/Bravo/Nicole Weingart/Bravo

The second part of this sure-to-be-epic reunion starts off with everyone screaming over #Scandoval and, yes, just as Tom Sandoval says, it has given everyone a bit of a get-out-of-jail-free card. No matter what they did this season — heck, no matter what they’ve done in their whole lives — it’s like we’ve entirely forgotten about it because of the awful things Sandoval, Schwartz, and Raquel did to the rest of the cast. When this was filmed, it was still fresh and everyone was reeling, but when Lisa Vanderpump tells Lala that she can sometimes be too aggressive, she looks at Lisa and says, “You need to stop. You need to stop. You need to stop.”

First of all, none of these yahoos would be doing spon-con for Uber Eats if Lisa Vanderpump didn’t get this project in front of Bravo in the first place. Yes, she may be ancillary to the show at this point, but put some respect on her name. Also, Lala tells her what she needs to stop doing is defending Sandoval. I don’t think that Lisa is defending him, but her criticizing other cast members for their behavior — and let’s face it, Lala is way too aggressive sometimes — doesn’t mean she’s letting him get away with his. She can do both.

It’s funny that Lala starts off so hot because the segment they spend focusing on her is the only thing to soften her all season. She talks about her conversation with Ally on the catamaran during Scheana’s 17-day boondoggle wedding for two already-married people. She says that her relationship with Randall so hurt her and she felt like such a fool that she just wanted to protect Ally. That’s the kind of vulnerability we crave from Lala. She’s so busy pretending to be a boss bitch who will take down anyone that crosses her that she never shows us that there is an actual person behind the hair extensions and talons. I think that is really sad and relatable, and she could learn a thing or two from Kenya Moore, whose aggression with her co-stars is often forgiven because we know how difficult her personal and romantic lives have been for her.

Then we switch to DJ James Kennedy, the White Kanye himself, who gets on my very last nerve. When Lala is talking about that conversation, James says he didn’t know about it until he saw it, and it upset him. He says he called Lala to discuss it because she knows “I’m not that guy.” Dude, you are. You are so that guy. You are so much that guy that if life were a game of Guess Who?, he would be the only plastic square still standing while we have to look at the smug crooked grin that he can’t seem to wipe off his face. The reason they were having that conversation is that he was literally that guy the night before, getting into fights with Brock’s random drunk Aussie friends and with St. Ariana at the dinner table.

This is where everyone’s blinders to Sandoval are really going to get me. Sandoval talks about a regular gig he and Schwartz had where they would go to Atlantic City. It sounds like a paid appearance where they would be at a casino or club to lure people from the tristate area into a sinking cesspit in New Jersey. They invited James along one time too. At the gig, which involved them drinking with fans, James got so belligerent that he grabbed a waitress’s ass, had to be asked to leave, and cost the Toms this regular gig.

Sandoval’s point is that, yes, they may drink way too much, but when they do, they don’t assault servers (if Sandoval can be believed, and that is an if bigger than both of Brock’s prominent pectorals), they don’t shout at people, and they don’t lose their jobs. We have seen James do two out of three things on camera. I repeat he is that guy. Just because the criticism of James’s drinking and how his drinking is different from others in the group is coming from Sandoval doesn’t mean it is invalid. Yes, Ariana can shout that instead he fucks her friend, but his awful act doesn’t nullify all the less awful acts that everyone else on these precipitously tall chairs has committed.

Meanwhile, Ally is fully delusional. She says she saw the show, but nothing she saw of James ever made her think she didn’t want to get in a relationship with him. She calls him sweet, which he may be in select moments, but he is also the person who has raged on every single person on the show and said horrendous things to Raquel’s family, whether or not her mom brought up if he was uncircumcised at the family Thanksgiving. (Yes, that’s awkward, but could she have been, I don’t know, joking?) Ally calls this man sweet, and then she says that “fat” should never be used, even though it is always James’s go-to insult. We see him use it multiple times in the flashbacks. We also see him call Sandoval a mustached worm again, so you know he workshopped that one. And, on behalf of all mustached Americans, I would like to say that trying to malign a facial hair style that makes every face 78 percent more handsome (even Sandovals) isn’t the right move.

With that, we say good-bye to Ally and her drop-shipped pink ensemble with boning that is too big and a bra cup that is too small. Get in your car, Ally, and drive away. Drive far, far away from James and this whole mess and live the life of a private astrologer to the stars before you sink any deeper into the tarpit that is the reality television arts and sciences.

Now a word from my husband:

Hey, everyone. It’s me, Christian. I know you don’t often hear from me because Brian usually just steals my jokes and doesn’t give me any credit. I needed to pop in to say that someone needs to ask Katie why the hell she went to Scheana’s wedding, where she didn’t belong and where no one wanted her. If this is not addressed in part three, I will be writing a letter to Andy myself, and I may become so incensed that Brian will have to divorce me, and the emotional spiral will incapacitate him for years and he’ll have to close the Housewives Institute. No one wants that, right? See you all next time Daddy Moneybags Vulture III lets someone recap a reunion (i.e. never). 

Thanks, Christian. That was not at all helpful. That was, in fact, about as helpful as Tom Sandoval walking the very long 100 yards from the set to see Raquel in her trailer, where she has to sit so that Scheana doesn’t break the restraining order Raquel took out against her. Tom was especially unhelpful when producer Patrick (remember him from that awful Fire Island show?) told him that if he and Raquel wanted to hang out together, they had to do it on camera. It’s a pretty easy order to understand and also a very reasonable request because if they’re going to plot and strategize about what to say, then we should be able to see it. This temper tantrum of stupidity is the only thing that Tom has said in either of these reunion episodes that I buy.

I take that back! There is one point where Scheana talks about how she had her suspicions of Tom and Raquel and confronted both Ariana and Tom with her suspicions. They were questioning why she brought it up to Tom, and she said, “You at least had to lie to my face,” to which he immediately responded, “I did.” Yes, honey, we know. That’s why we’re all here and the world is watching.

Just as I think that everyone surrounding Andy is an absolute garbage person, we get the Scheana Shay redemption arc that no one sees coming. Sandoval, after a pause longer than the mint green sash on Raquel’s dress, says that right when everyone found out that night on Watch What Happens Live, Scheana called Ariana and said on speaker, “I punched that bitch in the face, and I threw her phone in the street.” I do not believe Scheana said that or that she punched Raquel, but I am choosing to believe she said this to Ariana at the moment. Print it up, put it on a T-shirt, cross-stitch it into a pillow, write it in the sky with enormous balloon letters that will never pop. I think I will get “I punched that bitch in the face and threw her phone in the street” tattooed on my right forearm so that I can point to it whenever I have to punch a bitch in the face or throw her phone in the street.

Scheana was heartbroken and sincere but in the best way possible. She talked about how close she was with Tom and Raquel and how she asked Raquel never to do anything that would make them not be friends and Raquel said she wouldn’t, but she was probably already getting Tom Sandoval in her Most Extra at this point, so it didn’t really matter. But then Scheana ends her time at the reunion with two perfect gestures. She gives Andy a vinyl copy of her certified banger “Good as Gold” (would buy, put a link in your bio ScheSche) because he once joked that in 2023 she’d have a full album. Then she retired to her trailer, put on her comfy clothes, clutched a White Claw, and watched the Vanderpump Rules reunion. Yes, Scheana is all of us, right here on our couches, doing the exact same thing.

Naturally, the episode cuts off just as Raquel sits down in the chair — but not next to Sandoval, where she was originally placed. Her reactions this whole episode, especially in her conversation with Andy, were a little strange. It was like watching someone fully realize what they did and what the consequences would be, but like 19 months later. She says that her entire character is now in question. Um, no duh! You screwed your best friend’s man on local television. (As in, it is only local to women and gays.) What did you think was going to happen?

She also talks about how she regrets filing the restraining order and presents Scheana with a motion to dismiss it. This is like Randall Emmett missing a flight because it is too little and it is far too late. While in her trailer, she says, “As things are unfolding, it’s like more realizations and more regrets.” It’s as if the lightbulb went on that maybe Sandoval and Ariana’s relationship is better than Tom made it out to be, and maybe he didn’t actually ever try to break up with Ariana, as he claimed. She also tells Andy that she thought there was some way that she and Ariana could be friends when she found out about the affair. Does this woman have no idea how people will react to her? Does she not realize the hurt that she was going to cause? No, there is hardly anyone at this reunion that is a good person, but there is clearly no one worse than Tom and Raquel, two insecure people who are also so self-involved they think they can get everything they want without having to pay the price. Well, the bill is due, and neither of them can afford it.

Sign up for the Housewives Institute Bulletin

Dame Brian Moylan breaks down all the gossip and drama, on- and off-screen, for dedicated students of the Reality Television Arts and Sciences.

[wenellyb]

Can I ask your opinion on the what if... series? I'm really hating the Captain Carter trailers. I feel like it's disrespectful to Sam's character who has only just taken up the mantle of Captain America and the shield. I get that this is an alternate timeline series but from the sounds of things they plan on launching these alternates into the main MCU via the multiverse. If rumours are true and Peggy appears in Doctor Strange 2, then that means Captain Carter will appear on the big screen as a supersoldier shield-weilding Cap before Sam appears. And that doesn't sit right with me. Not to mention the merchandise that's already everywhere. Feels like Sam's getting sidelined again before he's even had the chance to shine on his own. Anyway, I'd be interested to know your thoughts on it, if you've seen it. (Also, less related, the uniform being the British flag just reeks of WW2 British imperialism which is also just ugh. And I'm an Australian, our flag literally includes the British one! I just do not like any of this.)

Hi Anon!!! Thanks for the ask it's a very interesting question.

I haven't thought about it a lot because I have seen the trailers and I liked it, it looks like a very cool show and I llike Peggy Carter's character.

They have announced the What If... series since a long time ago and one of the scenario announced was indeed what if Peggy was "Captain America", so this isn't exactly a surprise.

I have seem some posts about the fact that there is much promotion and much more merchandise is done for Captain Cartet than for Captain America. And that are disappointed that Sam's character is sidelined and maybe it's too spon and I will changer my mind, but I personally don't feel that way for now.

I guess I would have more of a problem if:

-it weren't an animated series and there was a real show with Captain Carter. I didn't know about Peggy appearing in Doctor Strange 2, but I guess we'll have to wait and see what is the screntime, if she appears as Captain Carter or not. But for now, I personally don't see Captain Carter as a problem or as Sam's character being sidelined.

- if they brought back Chris Evans' Captain America on a different project, like those rumors said some ago. It would annoy me to no end if they used the excuse of the multiverse to bring back another version of Steve Rogers as Captain America, or as

Honestly, for me, there is a problem with Sam's character and how him being Captain America is handled, but it has nothing to do with the What if series. I think it's important to put the blame where it should be.

The problem isn't that there is more promotion or more merch available for the What If series or Captain Carter, because the show is about to air, so it's normal that it would get promoted, that's how it works.

To me, the problem is that we had a TV show with Sam as Captain America, and then... nothing???

The problem is that we had an announcement for a Cap 4 movie but with no realease date nothing? Not even a TBA date in 2024 or whatever? With all these MCU moves already lined up there should be at least an official announcement, even a vague date.

And I'm thinking maybe we'll get to Sam Wilson in other movies, before the Cap 4 movie, but it's not a certainty, and also what about the official dates for his own movie? Not even something like "confirmed" or "announced" with the Captain America logo.

That's what doesn't sit right with me, because for now it looks to me that Disney has no plan to follow up on Captain Sam Wilson... Just from the looks of it, I don't know what they will or will not do.

Am I the only one who remembers that we were supposed to have a Cyrborg solo movie in the DCEU? It was announced and it never happened? So that's what's really making worried regarding Captain America.

From where I'm standing, Disney wants the diversity points without putting in more work than necessary.

Another issue is that historically the fandom never stands up for the Black Superheroes and the Balck actors.

It happened woth Ray Fisher, it happened with John Boyega, and I think John's case it's even more disgustimg because the behavior of the fandom eventually led to his role beong reduced in the Saga...wtf. They preferred to run an incoherent story and make a mediocre movie rather than pay Fonn his due!

Just an example of what I mean when I say that the fandom doesn't support Black Actors: You see all what is happening with Scarlett Johansson right? The lawsuit etcetera.... I have seen dozens and dozens of posts supporting her and her lawsuit.... And this isn't coming from her fans... It's even coming from people who dislike her but understand the importance of what she's doing. I understand the importance of what she's doing... But I can't help and compare it to he support Ray Fisher had in the fandom, when he was calling out the abuse he received from Joss Whedon and from some Executives. Since the story with Scarlett started every 10th post on my dash is about it. And yes, it's still fresh, so it's normal people are talking about it. But when the whole story started with Ray Fisher, the reaction was just not the same.... People were amkong posts that wouldn't get more that a 100 notes, and for me it was easier supporting from Twitter because at least I could retweet Ray's tweets.... but let me tell you that he was bassically fight alone. ALONE.

I have seen so many posts saying.... "I hate Scarjo but..." "I can't stand Scarjo but..." So from where I'm sitting a problematic White actress will get more support than an unproblematic Black actor denouncing abuse. And just to be clear... I do think that the fandom should support Scarjo's lawsuit because Disney is never held accountable for the sh*t they do, I'm just making a comparison and saying they both deserved support but only one of them got it.

That's why I have absolutely no fate that the MCU fandom will stand up for Anthony Mackie or Sam Wilson if it's ever necessary seeing how they turned their back on Anthony Mackie the moment they thought he was against "Sambucky". They will turn their back on him and his character the minute a minor inconvience happen. And Disney/Marvel will love that because they will have a justification as to why they will not follow through with Sam Cap (His characyer is unpopular.... or whatever excuse they will find).

And about the interview thing, I guess I could understand if and only if they had a problem with some of the things he had said... But the fandom made it clear that they only cared about what they thought he said about Sambucky, not the rest, proving once again that the fandom is untrustworthy. Because they were ready to condemn hom for something as trivial as a fictional ship.

If push comes to shove, and for instance they brought back another Steve Rogers from another universe, I'm sure they would be quick to support THAT character instead of Sam.

To me the problem is Disney & Marvel Execs and also the fandom of course... Because the Execs go where the money is... If the fandom is hyping up anybody BUT Sam Wilson... the execs will do the same... because they will promote characters who are the most popular.

It's important to reward reprensation, and hype up movies and shows with reprensentation, but to me it is as important (if not more important) not to reward lack of representation.

That's why I have absolutely no intention to pay for a MCU movie other than Shang Chi, and Black Panther and also Cap 4 whenever it comes out! But other than that... I'm staying away from the movies with always the same group being represented.

TL:DR; in my opinion, there is indeed a problem but the problem isn't the What if series, far from it.

[pentanguine]

Highlights of my year

Reading the Peter Wimsey and Vorkosigan series! These two series are forever entwined for me, partly just because I read them all together over the same few months, and partly because I really do think the themes and characters are so delightfully resonant with each other. (Bujold based the arc of the Miles books to some extent off of the Wimsey books!! It’s a canon connection between the texts!) I’m such a sucker for genre fiction with literary pretensions, and I loved the way that all of these books were full of tropes and madcap adventure while also being thought-provoking and frequently quite heart-wrenching. I am absolutely in love with them all.

Visiting my college friends in upstate New York! We went exploring along a creek…we hung out with cats at a general store…we went geocaching…we watched The Terror…we played a game I can’t even remember but I do remember we died laughing. I want to spend so much time with all of you always.

Moving to a new city—namely, a large, cold city where no one knows me and the religion section at the local bookstore is one rather small bookcase composed almost entirely of Eastern Religion. There’s public transportation, lovely parks, and I’m overall really enjoying my grad program. Are some parts of it bullshit? Yeah, but it’s interesting to me and I’m good at it without being a genius at it, so I’ll take what I can get. I also have some wonderful roommates, who are kind, funny, and drama-free, and I also live with a cat again, which I love. She’s got a totally different personality than my late cat, and she’s delightful.

Deciding to grow out my facial hair. Did not expect it to make me so incredibly happy; did not expect other people to get so incredibly upset about it. The emotional reactions my shitty, wispy chin hairs can provoke…Wow.

It’s been my first year without any panic attacks since 2013! That’s not to say there were not several close calls, but I did talk myself down from them and get my emotions back under control without my brain disintegrating into a feral mess of adrenaline, which feels like Progress.

Starting to take iron supplements! (Bear with me as I go on about this) Back at the start of 2021, I was exhausted pretty much all of the time—felt like I was dragging my own body around like a corpse, and would come home from work so tired I literally couldn’t do anything—I didn’t have the processing power to watch a youtube video, I didn’t have the energy to water my plant, and the thought of exerting the effort to help my mom with dinner made me want to cry. I thought I was depressed, even though my moods were pretty good all things considered, or maybe that I had chronic fatigue. But wow. Turns out I just needed iron! I have so much energy again; I’m much less irritable all the time and feel less like a perpetual teenager getting annoyed at everything; even stuff I’d been attributing to perfectionism-paralysis-style anxiety went away. It’s amazing.  

Useful misses (Learning Opportunities or whatever)

I tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy™, despite knowing it wouldn’t work well for me, because I could access it for free, and surprise, it didn’t work well for me! Too much like homework which I have to be Good at; too logic-based when I’m already a painfully, unproductively analytical person; not a useful emotional outlet for me because it’s too focused on looking at my behavior rather than my emotions. So my anxiety isn’t any better, but it isn’t any worse, and I’ve had the gratifying experience of confirming that I know myself and what works best for me.

I forgot how to talk to people for the first two months of grad school, so even though the rest of my class would hang out and socialize together I never joined them because I assumed I’d just be awkward, no fun, intruding on a group who already knew each other, etc. But of course what really happened is that I missed out on the chance to integrate into the group, and had to wait to be spontaneously adopted by the somewhat intimidating Class Talker like a stray pet being brought in from the cold. I think being iat the same jobs for two years, I’d forgotten what it’s like to meet a whole new group of people, and how I have to force myself to talk to them and push through the brick walls around my own mind. But I’ll have another chance next semester ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[segernatural]

phil's plant tour video but i'm an emotional mess

Instant shaky-cam: dAniel! Hiii!

We love a self-aware plant murderer.

(Sidenote we love a king who gives credit, stan jenna)

P a s s i o n for p l a n t s

The shift in gaze from lens to dan is really wholesome and dan's little camera nod makes me soft

#SPON (also going northern = excited)

THE BUCKET. i lost my mind on the first watch of this part. Fucking hilarious. Also we stan being in on the joke and staring at your soulmate whilst driinking from a literal bucket for the meme

he literally couldnt even keep a straight face. Like. Listen to how softly he says "hydrated" there ok.

Its a very phil shirt, phil.

Foray wow look at that English-language degree being put to use

Dont stroke the cactus phil--

Also he has no idea how to market a cushion but points for trying. We'll all buy it anyway

"Extra ribbing, for a bit of texture, if you like that kinda thing" all while staring like this

Did i hear that as "furna-tote" wHat

its a bag. Shiny. Leaves. Very phil. He should send one to cristine. But also. I doubt my behemoth of a laptop would fit in there.

Pseudo-appartment tour yeee

"Lets start with this bitch" ok phil tell me how u really feel

"Its the most needy plant ever" so its me

Dan caption: "leave me alone but dont but do" yeahhh

"Trying my best, kinda not succeeding" phil u said shes been living for 2 years under your care. Thats a win

Bean-can. And why does the framing of this shot make me soft.

NORMAN :D why do i always think his tank is larger than that

"Boi" is something i use gender neutrally phil dw

Theres so many shots in here that make me extra soft bc theres something that either reminds me of both of them or just also dan and this is one of them

Casual awards they got together there.

Also how high up are they rn bc jfc phil looks like he is straining upwards, so is dan shooting this above his head? I need answers

Dan's little nonverbal "imma stop you there"

"Like the hot guy" things like this still make me soft ok. Its been almost a year now since he's officially out and i still get emotional ok shush

Phil thinks terrariums can be mystery and beauty

Angry hand terrarium. Its ok, i still appreciate you hand-terrarium, even if phil doesnt

Casual liquor chilling next to a terrarium

I will die for the zed-zed plant bc it sounds ridiculous the way my country says it

Calling himself a botanist now, we stan growth

Golden pig shall also be in commentary then phil.

Second shot that makes me soft: dan's birthday candle :(((

Nooooo we got a couple dead laddy bois in this terrarium

w e

w e x2

Sideways shot, we stan camera-dan

"Blooming out of my crotch" why. Also why hold it like that.

That "boing" sound effect. Oof. Am uncomfy.😂

That off-camera voice of "i'm not gonna say erect... oh i did"

Phil says eat ur breakfast

What even is this shot. Ok mr "under stairs plant"

"If you're falling down the stairs, its the last thing you'll see before you die" uH??

Cmon phil people dont come over 👀

Inb4 phil's friends know hes a plant killer so they try to support his endeavors, and when they see this plant they compliment him on it to validate his growth but alas, its always been a lie

The editing there is 11/10

"I dont like this its too eager" you can just say you're an introvert 👀 some of us just get excited about things ok

Damn phil did this plant hurt u? Do u need a moment?

Dramatic lightning and audio in the bathroom

Not changing lights bc lazy = mood

U lads dont even need a ladder to reach it i bet. Like it would take 30 seconds.

Dan getting shots of dsrk bathroom while phil rambles on about bathroom stuff, till he notices what phil is saying and decides to shame him by capturing it on video

I love how this plant actually has a purpose

Ok this framing is cursed.

Why is the plant like that.

Why are the legs spread.

The chair.

Sidenote hullo another shot that makes me emo. Aesthetic D just vibin.

We stan a strong run-way plant

Dust coating "maybe it helps?" Ah phil, always the optimist

Ok now it just sounds like u are explaining to dan why its not your fault its dying

Casually having to explain gold foil

Cool! Fridge cacti!

"Which one would you rather sit on?" pHIL

"NOT IN A WEIRD WAY" what else can that even mean

Daniel leaving is all of us

Jump to phil being swamped by a plant. Dayum boi look at u go!

All that matters phil is that it is thriving rn ok

That plant looks like it could eat u yes. Plotting it since 2014 apparently

"Growing so fast its killing itself" ok metaphor. Also get it a bigger pot then u monster 👀

"I'd make out with it but its probably posionous." Not that its a plant, but just that it might kill me. Ok.

Awww piranha plant boquet returns

F o n d

Im just glad the cactus was the merch not the yodelling pickle

Phil spilling all the tea about his fake plants damn

"I'm wearing shorts" why do they both have to tell us about their states of undress

So this is phil's emotional support plant

This man. Taped his plant upright. In order to have it in his video background.

Phil. Stop.

The japanese asa (i guarantee i spelled that wrong, i apologize) is beautiful and deserves the spotlight. Glad to see her thrive since pigeon fest.

Phil spilling tea "this plant is me" and "its trying its best but just not suceeding at things" :(

I did not need that flashback of cutting the sideburns ok. That is seared into my memory

"Im a fan"

"A squirrel,, laid? An acorn?" Oh phil.

Soulmates who have existential crises together stay together

"This thing is a strong buddy" what does that mEan

Oh no. Nononono. Every insect that has gotten inside goes into this plant. Nope.

The extreme closeups that dan does of phils eye's & quiff always make me smile

Ahh. This is the shame pot, where all plants go to die.

Steve

He's a shiny.

Steve is basically your cat now phil

Casual reminders that who needs humans at all when u live with your soulmate and a pigeon adopts you

This angle on the shot. Jfc dAn you're so tall

"They make me happy" *britney yeah.gif*

Overall very good plant tour, very good happy phil, 11/10.

[ttlmt]

I just watched the final google feud vid again and IM CACKLING why is it so CHAOTIC?!?!! I honestly cannot even handle it like the looks they kept giving each other AHH I’m soft. And the way Phil kept leaning on Dan’s arm? And Dan’s goblin gargle? And how it gets progressively more obvious that they’re not even trying to play the game any more? And the singing in UNISON? And the fact that they both seem high as hec? And how crazy Phil is acting? Like damn Philly. If you have anything to add(‘:

LITERALLY wtf happened to them while they were in Canada. every video they filmed here was insane but ESPECIALLY the final google fued.

like dan “live your truth constantly and you’ll be fine” and phil “you get up to a lot when you’re not tweeting” like we’re not even 30 seconds in and dan gives him That Look (i swore i giffed this before but i can’t find it so i know what im doing later oml). phil’s weird anecdotes? he probably dreamt them? dan is so done? and dan’s face when he says he’s cultured? and phil roasting him? and THE SECRET FOLDER BIT! (im sorry im not getting screengrabs of all this i just woke up and im too emo to make a coherent breakdown post) they’re just having so much fun in and the whole room service debacle? and like surely they couldnt get MORE chaotic and then BOOM. and remember when everyone thought phil slapped dan’s ass?? we had a field day that day we were so wild oml (we didn’t appreciate 2018 enough). dan’s face on real guesses (okay im gonna do one screengrab look at this shit and also phil for the lolz)

like maybe they weren’t drunk before but they def had something with dinner cause dan’s just out. of. it. and they’re literally debating about whether to play the game or be funny and like thats a dapg mood (rip) MEN CAN BE MILKED IS IN THIS VIDEO TOO WTF. fuck it have another one

he

the shameless spons? the yelling? the fact that their arms are like attached through the whole thing like YOU ARE IN TWO CHAIRS YOU ARE PROFFESIONALS YOUR CAMERA COULD GO WIDER THIS WAS A CHOICE. idk what happens to dans voice when he’s talking about drawing the dog but i would like it to happen more.

THE FUCK IS THIS

jesstina... she’s weird right?? is anyone else LeAvINg the EU? phil: i met someone who hates ice cream. dan: WHO IS THIS PERSON like hes so persistent and phil just ignores him like the toddler he is and then distracts him with the next topic. why do they call it dabbing? okay maybe i don’t miss 2018.

why do they call it spoons? wtf phil

dan screaming when phil skips the answers. phil shushing him cause they’re in a hotel. dan’s valley girl voice. phil mocking him for it. how do you make someone fall in love with you? dan: SHUT UP (okay we get it you have a soulmate yall fell in love at first sight or whatever we can’t all have that smh)

HOLY FUCK I JUST DELETED THIS WHOLE POST BUT TURNS OUT YOU CAN UNDO THINGS YOU JUST TYPE SO CTRL-Z TO SAVE A LIFE

alright back to the breakdown.

phil’s so stressed and dans so giggly and this whole thing is a mess. phil saying sTupId the friggin attempt at all or nothing at the end and dan just vetos that shit. and i always say this is my fave video but after watching it again i know im right ty

[lucky-draws]

Hey!! Your art is awesome :) Where did you learn to draw? Did you go to school or are you self taught?

Hello!! Thank you so much!! :D

It's a bit of both really, I mean I studied art at gcse and A level (which I guess is basically the UK equivalent of us high school level?? Idk how to describe it since school systems are different in every country lol) but I've not studied it at university level or like a proper private art school kind of place or anything.

But also, and I this is gonna sound cliché or whatever, I guess I've been drawing since I was little so aside from school lessons I've had many years of practice of just kinda figuring stuff out for myself basically.

(LOL and I would also say that sometimes school art lessons weren't always that useful, especially for a couple of years when we had rly bad teachers lmao. We did some stuff that was beneficial like life drawing classes and such but in my experience so much of our time was spent writing a load of fake pretentious bullshit instead of actually being taught how to draw LMAO but that's just my feeling...I could write more abt the way art is taught but I won't xD)

Right now I'm not studying anywhere, so I'm working on getting better at drawing by myself. I only really post my fanart on this blog but sometimes I do other stuff like exercises and anatomy studies that I don't post, which are helpful,, maybe since I'm already waffling I'll mention a few things I find useful to do in case it's if interest to you or anyone else? Under the cut tho, since this is getting long LOL

Observational studies/drawing from life is something that's very useful I find; just in terms of generally training yourself to look at something and try to represent it accurately and learning more about what things, textures, shadows, etc actually look like. Lately I often take a sketchbook out with me and do things like sketches of people or buildings or studies of plants, flowers etc. None of them are masterpieces, but it's just the activity in itself that's fun. Sketching people or animals forces you to be quick, because you don't know when they might move positions or leave or whatever, and being able to quickly and confidently get down the basic lines and forms of something is a good skill to have and to practice.

I also enjoy human anatomy and figure drawing so I'm trying to get better at that. Anatomy is a huge subject and it's too much sometimes to get hung up on trying to learn all the bones and muscles; a while back I got myself a textbook and found videos with that object in mind, but eh. I realised it's kind of a little ambitious when there are still so many things abt drawing in general I still don't know how to do, so I'm going to leave properly teaching myself detailed anatomy until later. Running before you can walk kind of thing, maybe.

That said though, doing a few studies now and then is still very useful, just learning a bit at a time and gradually getting used to remembering certain aspects about drawing the human body is progress enough.

In school, life drawing classes were pretty useful but I don't have access to any rn sadly. However, and this is not a #spon or anything jfjffj it's just what I do, I like this website called line of action which has photo references for artists to use; obviously there are countless sites like it but I like this one because it provides you with a timer tool kind of thing, so you can set it to 'class mode' and it will give you images to draw from in stages of 30 second sketches, then moving to a minute, then longer 5-10 minute studies and so on.

Even if you don't know shit about muscles and whatever, just observing the human figure from the outside (via images on the Internet if you understandably do not have access to real humans to pose for you lmao) and drawing it a bunch of times is still beneficial. The other I day I realised that ab muscles were confusing to me, so I literally just googled male abs and copied from a few pictures, just noting how they look, what basic shapes to remember etc.

Another good exercise that I haven't done for a while actually is to do some continuous line drawing, which means drawing something without taking your pen off the paper. For a subject you can use something/someone from life or just a picture on your computer or whatever, but basically just focus on keeping your pen/pencil on the page without lifting it, it's really useful in building up, like, confidence in your line work I guess, and it can look pretty cool actually, because it makes this kind of squiggly effect.

I'm just answering this on mobile right now and don't have time to post any pictures, but I'm thinking I could always post some of my studies and practice work now and then. Some of them will be messy LOL but I guess it might be a good thing to show this kind of stuff instead of finished, polished pieces all the time idk?

Anyway this got long and you didn't rly ask for it sorry chjfnfkf but thank you so much for the ask!!! Hope you're having a good day :-) ❤️

[nototherwisespecified]

You have to create an OM team using seven current NHLers. What type of long-term problem do they choose based on the talents of the members of your assembled team? Who concentrates on what part of the solution? Who is most likely to win an OMer? How well do millionaire man-children do on a shoestring budget? Do they get a verbal, hands-on, or hybrid SPON problem, and which five team members are chosen to go into the room? Who is an active participant in pin-swapping? More questions to follow.

oh wow. oh wow oh wow

okay so we’re starting with a few smart dudes who acknowledge hobbies that are not hunting, fishing, golf, or sleeping. for purposes of this simulation, we will set “smart” equal to “known literate.” chris kreider, thatcher demko, & zdeno chara. that’s our core group. those are the guys who argue their friends into joining the team

the joiners are mika, of course (this is a set do not separate), quinn hughes, jaroslav halak to EVERYONE’S surprise (they thought it’d be cmac but he had a conflicting extracurricular, probably a sport), & somehow, evgeny kuznetsov

THEN...

their long-term problem is vehicular, because we got two goalies who LOVE a pushcart ride. they all workshop the skit, obv. mika & jaro work out the Look of their props & costumes. kreids & kuzy fine-tune the script. thatcher, chara, & quinn (highly analytical) focus on the actual vehicle, which ends up with a (weird) odd number of wheels because it looks cooler. everyone all-nighters for a week before competition day to finish props. quinn, kreids, & chara have skilz at construction, at least, & mika & jaro are thorough enough to make painting/other decoration basically foolproof. they make it under budget but only by a LOT of “well we obviously had this in our combined garages so we can put it at garage-sale price RIGHT???”

thatcher wins the OMer because no one, especially not the judges or even the team, expected it to hold up for the duration of their skit & demonstration based on how it looked, & he nearly lost control of steering but rescued himself by an unprecedented feat of athleticism, remaining within the tape boundaries even under duress

they pick chara (Knows Things), kuzy (lateral thinker, funny), jaro (team player), mika (all that CHARM!), & kreids (may also know a thing) for spontaneous. this choice is also made because damn, thatch had a long day, & quinn is the team baby. they get a hands-on problem & panic at first because they left their engineering brains out of the room, but they get it together

mika is the MOST ardent of pin-swappers & drags everyone else into it to pool their resources. kuzy gets super into it when he sees a light-up pin, but, having secured the light-up ones, finds himself without enough pins to bargain for others. kreids hands his over in exchange for being kuzy’s pin accountant for long enough to secure a very rare pin that mika ID’d early on as his holy grail

[takaraphoenix]

(1) Thank you, thank you, thank you for your post about The Good Place finale. You wrote exactly what was in my head, and it's a relief to see that someone else shares the same POV. I watched the ep last night and haven't been able to stop thinking about it since, how depressing it is (and as someone who suffers from anxiety and depression ... this ep did not help). This morning, I woke up thinking about the ep and how Chidi and Jason committed suicide (and how Michael eventually Michael will).

           (2) And Eleanor was happy in eternity with Chidi but (eventually) committed suicide once he was gone. I understand the philosophy TGP's ending is based on, but it's so limited and limiting. That the characters still had a concept of time in the afterlife is such a *human* POV. Also, one of the show's main themes is that the characters' relationships to one another helps them grow and change and find true happiness, only for the finale to contradict that and essentially erase the show's meaning .            

           (3) You wrote, "The world moves and creates and you have access to its creation" -- exactly. Why would what comes next be any different? Why wouldn't it hold infinite interests and pockets of exploration, only with love and peace replacing the fear so many of us experience here? I honestly wish TGP had ended with the main characters entering the true good place together, happy and in peace,, and leaving the *specifics* of the good place a mystery. What we got instead was misery.            

I’m glad the post spoke to you. I really was feeling as though I was the only one who... truly didn’t like how it all ended, so it’s genuinely nice to hear that it’s not actually all in my head.

And it’s not even just the concept of time. You can... You can literally be at any place at any time, the world is so large and has been going on for so long and even if you got caught up with all that laid in the past... by then the world has moved on and new things have happened, new things have been built that you can now visit.

The concept of the afterlife growing stale is something I would accept if the place itself was limited; if there was no magic time and place traveling and if there was no access to modern human inventions, if it was all detached and stuck. But it’s not. It has access to the ever evolving human world and the humans there - like, the most brilliant minds ever - get to keep creating.

To say it was good that Shakespeare killed himself because Tempest 2 - Here we Blow Again wasn’t as good as his classics was just such a cheap joke and it genuinely didn’t feel like it even fit into TGP.

The same goes for how it seemed as though Chidi was resorting to trash books because he’s through all the sophisticated ones - but how? How, when new writers are born every day, new books are published all the time. Again, this makes no sense if the afterlife is truly unlimitless, as the show made it seem, this would only make sense if it was limited.

The amount of philosophical theories Chidi and all the other philosophs in the Good Place would have spon around the door and the potential of what comes after; all the existing theories that would have been revamped according to the knew knowledge about how death and the universe work. There is so much philosophy that would have happened in the Good Place. And the thing about philosophical debates is that they are endless - that’s literally the point of philosophy. There is no one true answer and we still be out here debating the same shit as 2000 years ago; the afterlife, where you have so many brilliant philosophers would literally offer that endless philosophical debate. The man who wrote a 2000 page thesis because he couldn’t decide what interested him more and who devours knowledge would be debating until literal eternity.

And... And even if not that, if at the very least they would have had Eleanor and Chidi walk through the door hand in hand, but to truly have Chidi go “nah, I’m good. I’m so fulfilled, even though I know I’m leaving my soulmate all alone”... That’s contradictive to me. How can you feel truly at ease knowing you leave those you love all alone...?

And how detached Tahani seemed from their lives after she started studying to become an architect. All of this had always been about them and the finale was all about... them growing apart.

[talix18]

November 4

If I could go back in time and tell myself anything useful, #1 would be for gods sake please keep up with guitar lessons. #2 would be something about considering carefully the fact that you're going to live out a few more decades; continuing to blow up relationships will have you living them out mostly alone. #3 would be Absolutely Fill Out the Rhodes Scholarship application, idiot. I know you don't know yet that you want to travel but I promise that the experience you would have going to school overseas would be more than worth putting up with the weather. It's a problem that opportunity arises for some people when they're too young to appreciate it – at least it was a problem for me. So play guitar, sing, write, do all those things in front of people because it can just be fun, you know. Go to school far away. Sit still and let someone love you.

Because there is a distinct possibility that you will never meet someone who you know is The One. I'm pretty sure I thought I'd met The One two or three times. Nobody is going to fit all of your edges without rubbing uncomfortably in a few areas, whether it's their tendency to cut their hair too short or their inability to take on housekeeping duties when you're laid up or their families not being people you'd choose to hang out with. It's nice to have someone to hang out in sweatpants with; it's nice to have someone around who makes you laugh. Love is just as much about action as it is about emotion. It's not just something that happens to you; it's also something that you do.

But the reality is that I did meet someone I had those heart-flips over. We had that connection I'd always hoped to find. And life got in the way. He wasn't willing to make the changes he needed to in order to be with me and I wasn't willing to wait anymore. And I had the one that I was crazy about who just wasn't as crazy about me, and the one that I thought was the Universe actually working in my favor until the long-distance of it all got too much. Maybe I've had my chances.

I just want a life where I can honestly say “I wouldn't change a single second because it got me here.” Is that so much to ask?

Is it terrible if I don't eat anything except cauliflower crust veggie pizza? I mean, if I'm not overdoing the cheese and the veggies are fresh and the sauce doesn't have sugar in it – there's no reason that it's a “bad” idea, is there?

Saturday night I was at a meeting where a friend was celebrating nine years clean. She is hilarious and outgoing and incredibly smart, and she honestly believes that all Muslims are taught to throw acid in the faces of their women. This baffles me. I have this other friend – she's Jewish and also incredibly smart, and helped vote in the current administration because she's anti-reproductive rights. The administration that normalized being a Nazi in the 21st century. I just don't get it. And this is always going to limit the extent to which I'm going to trust someone – if you fundamentally believe that some humans are less deserving of compassion and dignity and self-determination, then I have to wonder what's going to happen if I fall into one of your less deserving categories.

Anyway, what I'm learning is that my mental health depends on being around people – on being part of a community – and I need to tell the truth about myself in safe places. So I'm at a meeting Saturday sharing about how my depression manifests, the specific example being that for most of the almost 15 years I've lived in this house, there has been a dresser drawer on my bedroom floor. It hasn't always been the same drawer – I've fixed at least two or three rails in the time I've owned these IKEA dressers. And it is entirely likely that I wouldn't have this problem if I didn't stuff the drawers beyond their recommended capacity. The point is that this is how I live: walking around the drawer on the floor. I am not going to consider my shit together until there are no drawers on the bedroom floor.

After the meeting, the woman next to me, who is a successful married adult with grown children, leaned over and said “I've never felt so close to you.” And that's what it's about, gang. Those moments when we tell the truth about how we live and other people recognize themselves in it. It's scary sometimes but, for me, it's necessary. And when I have more than one broken dresser drawer, I can ask for help getting rid of the things I don't need and taking the broken things to the dump. Then I can buy a new piece of clothing storage furniture, probably from IKEA, because I'm not made of money, and this one doesn't have drawers.

Last night I drove two hours to Philadelphia to see Fleetwood('s Heartbreakers House) Mac. You have to understand what Stevie Nicks means to me. Yes, I loved “Dreams” when I heard it the first time in someone's apartment in fifth grade where I was playing some version on Spin the Bottle for the first time. (Billy Schoonmaker, where are you now?) I loved the White Winged Dove song that I didn't know the name of until I saw a song I'd never heard of by Stevie on a jukebox and played it. And I remember a cartoon of someone literally dragging a heart behind them that was in the junior high newspaper. But The Moment I got it was when my mother's second husband, who played bass in an actual, playing out band, brought home Stevie's first solo album. I remember seeing her on the cover with white roses and gauzy clothes and a crystal ball and a tambourine and thinking “you mean life can look like that all the time?” My experience of gauzy clothes and crystal balls was limited to the Renaissance Festival that came to town every summer. I don't know why I took that album cover so literally – she could have been dressed that way specifically for those pictures – but in that moment I had permission to make my life look any way I wanted it to.

So Stevie, and by association Fleetwood Mac, have been part of my soul for most of my life, and I've been lucky enough to have seen her solo and with them several times. (Not on the Wild Heart tour, though! Not when Joe Walsh was her opener and Mom refused to sit through him and I was too young to go by myself. [Learning later that Stevie considers Joe the lost love of her life just makes it easier to carry that grudge.]) I've seen them minus Lindsay plus Billy Burnette & Rick Vito, with Lindsay Buckingham but minus Christine McVie (sorry I'm not sorry this is my preferred line-up), and now minus Lindsay plus Mike Campbell and Neil Finn.

I saw them in April and had All The Emotions. All of them. There were the general Stevie emotions, of course. Then there were the Tom Petty emotions, because I'd seen Campbell with Petty and the Heartbreakers the previous summer, on that last tour. Thank god. I don't even know what made me decide to go – I didn't take pictures or buy a shirt like I almost always do – but I was there, and then Tom died. And now Stevie, who adored him, and Mike, who was his musical partner, were on stage together without him.

Then there's Neil Finn, who was? Is? The frontman for Crowded House, who I also love. But more importantly, he was one of the favorites of my friend Andrea, who died of cancer far too young, who lived in Seattle and I made it a point to fly out for her 40th birthday. Who I flew out to sit in the hospital with in the last weeks of her life. Who I met on the Internet of all the ridiculousness, along with an entire group of Webpeeps who I've been lucky enough to ride roller coasters, celebrate weddings, and baptize babies with. Andrea loved Split Enz and Crowded House and made me listen to their catalog beyond “Something So Strong” and “Better Be Home Soon” and find the pop perfection there. There he was, sounding like he was doing Fleetwood Mac karaoke but also sounding like someone I love who is gone.

Not to mention the whole Stevie and Lindsay and will he ever be able to sing again after his throat was injured after his heart surgery and what the hell happened that Stevie decided this was finally a bridge too far to cross with him after everything else they've worked through. I love Stevie but not blindly, and I see Fleetwood Mac touring without two of their three main songwriters but not without her.

All. The. Emotions.

And I went with my grown adopted niece and Stevie sang about children getting older and I was weeping, as I do.

I had decided against buying a shirt, figuring I could make a more rational decision about what I wanted the next day and get it online. And learned to my horror that no, I couldn't, and then the crazy started. The crazy that said “Look! They're going to be in Philly Friday. Get a ticket to that show and buy what you want there. And if you go alone, you can get a more expensive single seat on Mike Campbell's side of the stage and be In It.” I don't remember how long I thought about it. I do know I ran it past my sister, who said she'd done equally as outrageous things, which gave me permission. My sister is one of the sanest people I know and is one of the lines I can never color outside of.

So I bought that Mike Campbell section ticket and reserved a place on the parking lot and vibrated through half a day at work looking forward to it. Until I happened to see something about them canceling the Boston show the night before and looked further and saw that the Philly show had to be postponed due a band member's illness. I was disproportionately devastated. Which is a thing with both addiction and depression – responding to things out of proportion with their actual importance. That disappointment led to a pretty steep downward spiral during which I actually called my sponsor and allowed her to talk me through the insanity maze.

It is recommended that one have a sponsor one trusts and get in the habit of talking to them regularly so that muscle will be exercised when you're feeling crazy or like using or whatever it may be. This is not my way. My traditional way of being a sponsee was crawling through whatever on my own and calling my sponsor to tell her about it afterward, and getting together with her just long enough to work whatever my next step was before my anniversary. Then my very smart Buddhist sponsor with 20 years clean relapsed, and everything changed.

[ahappydnp]

I'm literally writing my bachelor's thesis right now and i'm constantly checking my phone i can't handle the stress philip please upload the #spon already so i can have peace again

Get yo ass back to work 👏You know if he does post, it won’t be for like 6 hours because he likes to watch us suffer.

Don’t come back here until you have 500 words. And don’t lie to me and say you did because I’ll know!

Also, good luck! I know it sucks 💕 but get off tumblr and write! We prioritize academia over here on ahappydnp ✌️

[5sosbitchfest]

Okay. I know you’ve all been waiting patiently for us to talk about the Michael and Crystal engagement, and since it’s been three days we feel like we’ve gathered enough information that we can talk about it. We know this came as a shock to some people, but honestly it didn’t come as a shock to any of us. We knew this was coming. And after it happened, all the puzzle pieces started to fall into place. I, Link, will be heading up this post. I’m going to talk about all of this. It’s all going to be under a cut because this is going to be a very image heavy post. 

So let’s go:

This started well before the Guess trip with Michael’s post on IG on NYE

With the statement that it was going to be “the best year of all of our lives”. Forget the fact this doesn’t sound like something Michael would say because whatever. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but after the engagement happened it seems he was very heavily hinting that something big was coming. 

They of course, got to Bali for the DesitnationGUESS trip and more and more pics were released of Michael and Crystal throughout the trip. They focused extremely heavily on Michael and Crystal despite the fact there was at least one other couple on the trip. Yes, it could be argued that this is because Michael is the most famous on the trip, but that argument in my opinion is weak because he’s just not that famous. Not only did Guess focus heavily on Michael and Crystal, but so did the people on the trip. Michael and Crystal were also featured heavily on the stories of the ambassadors on the trip. Like...very heavily. There were at least six stories posted from people about Michael and Crystal “singing” together, all with little messages about them being their favorite couple or the cutest couple, etc. Now, I don’t know about you...but I don’t know anyone who is that obsessed with another couple. People just don’t do that unless in the case of clout. Interesting right? 

So let’s take this moment to talk about the elephant in the room: the Guess trip being an all expenses paid promotional trip. Yes, Michael proposed to Crystal on a trip to Bali that neither of them paid for. How romantic right?? I know that’s what I would want...to have the “love of my life” propose to me on this sort of trip. They claim it’s because Bali is where “it all began for them” when yet again...that was another all expenses paid trip and she was cheating on her boyfriend, Spencer, at the time (if you believe the official narrative). LOL. Really, bitch? And y’all actually support her knowing she’s also a racist, fat shaming xenophobe. Amazing.

So that brings me to the engagement announcement.

Now, I would like to point something out. This announcement was made FIVE DAYS after the alleged proposal happened. According to US Weekly, Michael proposed on January 11th. 

This was two days after Slapgate happened. And for the next several days, Crystal didn’t wear the ring because you know...they were hiding it. The article then goes on to talk about Guess, the resort, they name several of the Guess ambassadors, the 1975 and even the chef that cooked the dinner for this evening! WHY? Why does anyone care about that? They don’t. This was all promotion. 

Oh, of course there’s this as well

A picture of Michael and Crystal sharing a kiss while all the Guess ambassadors look upon them adoringly. 

Friends celebrated this special moment with the couple, but there are three very important members that are missing: Luke, Calum and Ashton. Michael’s three best friends since childhood who weren’t even invited to this “special moment”. 

One more quick thing I wanted to point out: note the name of the photographer, Ryan Fleming. 

Ryan Fleming is Crystal’s close friend and, for all intents and purposes, personal photographer. He has shot several of Michael’s and Crystal’s “couples” photos over the course of their relationship. He’s been part of this farce since the beginning.

Okay, moving right along to the plethora of articles this “engagement” spawned. 

Not seconds after Michael posted about the engagement that US Weekly posted an article with an exclusive of the proposal and unseen photos. SECONDS. This was planned. Now, okay...lots of celeb couples sell their pics to articles for the publicity. That’s not unusual. What is unusual; however, is the amount of publicity that Michael and Crystal got

At least ten highlighted articles spawned from this engagement, including one with an exclusive. I want to draw attention to this because I want you to keep in mind that Crystal is literally a nobody. She is in no way famous, and Michael is a C list celeb at best. They got ten articles while Josh Dun and Debby Ryan (who I am using as comparison because they’re the most recently engaged couple I can think of) got four. FOUR. Four articles about a couple that include two people who are exponentially more famous than Michael and Crystal with no exclusives. None. They each posted about their engagement a day later with little fanfare. And yet these two...get ten highlighted articles?

And then this happens:

Guess posts a story (the top pic) about the engagement happening and the story is linked directly to the US Weekly article. Then they make an IG post all about “reliving the magical moment” of this engagement in a post. 

Wow. Talk about massive promo for Guess because now they’ve got the attention of a LOT of people. I wasn’t aware that designer brands were so invested in the relationships of their ambassadors. I’ve literally never seen such a thing before. 

So okay, we’ve got the syndicated articles, the Guess promotion, the fans falling all over themselves about this engagement and you think...well this is it right? 

But oh it isn’t! Because then this happens

Do you know what that is? THAT IS A FUCKING NEWSPAPER ARTICLE!

A newspaper article! I’m sorry, but did Michael and Crystal become the Carters while I wasn’t looking??? Or perhaps the West-Kardashians??? What the hell is happening here? How does a nobody and a C list celeb get a newspaper article about their engagement??? Can you even believe??? (FYI, I don’t know what newspaper article this is. I haven’t been able to find the source yet. I got this off a tea account on IG.)

This sparked my interest and I did a Google search only to find even more articles about this engagement. There are at least 30 articles about this engagement, including articles in publications such as The Knot and Brides, who usually only cover A list celeb weddings. 

So please...someone explain to me how this happens??? Clearly, Crystal and Modest forked out a lot of money for this kind of publicity because Crystal isn’t famous and Michael isn’t famous enough for this kind of exposure. Something is very, very off with this. 

So how does this tie into the Lie To Me video being released? Well, funny you should ask because this was posted just before the premiere of LTM, garnering a lot of attention. Conveniently, Crystal was silent about this entire thing (save for one story about being so grateful for all the support wank wank) until after the release of LTM. One hour later, she posted about the engagement. How very, very convenient that is. Of course, Michael liked the post within moments, but has yet to actually post anything about LTM because you know...why would he support his band? So far, it’s only been retweets which is just like...the bare minimum amount of promotion he can do.

So let’s move onto the next section: Ashton’s shade. 

Thirty minutes before Michael’s post about their engagement, Ashton posted this. It was deleted a little bit later. A song in Russian called Te Amo. Te Amo is Spanish, not Russian. What I think is that Ashton was equating this fake song to a fake romance: Michael and Crystal. Ashton has never been quiet in reference to how he feels about PR stunts. He’s spoken about them with disdain. Of course, this Tweet could be up for interpretation, but that’s what I think. Ashton is very good at throwing shade. 

This is the next Tweet we got from Ashton, just a little while before the LTM vid premiered. You can clearly read what it is he says. I believe Ashton was referencing the PR stunts these boys are forced to go through. I think he was not only speaking about Arzaylea and Luke, but about Michael and Crystal as well. I don’t care what anyone says, Arzaylea and Luke were just as much PR as Michael and Crystal and now Luke and Sierra. It wrecked Luke because Arzaylea was a terrible person to him, even though their whole relationship was contrived. But guess what...she was Crystal’s protege. Yeah, chew on that. 

So now Ashton has to watch another one of his best friends be wrecked by this bullshit. Just because these relationships are business doesn’t mean they aren’t toxic. Toxic relationships aren’t just romantic, they can be platonic and business as well. 

But it seems that not everyone is convinced that this wasn’t a total con. The following is an excerpt from the Jezebel article:

Huh. Imagine that. Not everyone is looking at this through rose-tinted glasses, and even if this author doesn’t believe that their relationship is fake she still recognizes the “spon-con” for what it is. You can read the whole article HERE.

Of course, one of my favorite things about this whole sham is how fucking awkward Michael is with Crystal, like so

Hella YIKES. Be more awkward, pal. We realize you’re not used to kissing her because you know...she’s your co-worker and all, but damn. Where those acting skills you learned from that acting coach you hired?

And then of course, there’s this gem which was the pic posted in US Weekly zoomed in

Why does he look like he’s in physical pain to be doing this? 

Now we’ve come to the last part of this whole charade that is the biggest red flag for me:

NONE OF HIS BANDMATES HAVE COMMENTED, LIKED, OR CONGRATULATED HIM PUBLICLY ABOUT THIS ENGAGEMENT.

Oh, I can hear the arguments about this now that will include “they don’t have to, they can do it privately” or “maybe they were just busy” or “why does it matter?” 

Except that all of those arguments are fucking weak because with the amount of famous people that took time out of their busy day and schedule to congratulate them is paramount. Even Doug the fucking Pug congratulated them. So you mean to tell me that Luke, Calum and Ashton couldn’t take a few seconds to comment or even like the post? On either IG or Twitter? They have been dead fucking silent about this whole thing. Why? Because they obviously do not like Crystal. They haven’t for awhile, and she clearly doesn’t like them. Which is hilarious considering she’s their PR manager. 

There is a very obvious disconnect between Michael and his best friends/bandmates right now. It’s been three days and they’ve been totally radio silent about this. This disconnect is because of Crystal, I guarantee it. When I call her the Yoko Ono of 5sos, I mean it. I find it funny that all these people are predicting things like 5sos in tuxes and who’s going to be the best man. Do you guys really think any of them are going to be in the wedding party if there’s an actual wedding? I highly doubt it. They weren’t even invited to the engagement event. Hell, at this point I’m pretty sure they weren’t even invited to Michael’s last birthday party and ended up crashing it. If Crystal has to choose one of them to be in the party, it’s likely the one she hates least and I think that’s Calum, personally. 

I don’t know what this is going to mean for the future of the band. I don’t know if Michael is going to leave the band at some point or not. He seems to be quite caught up in his influencer life all of a sudden. I can’t say I’m not worried because I am. I’ve tried to deny the separation between him and the rest of the band, but I really can’t anymore. 

In conclusion, this changes nothing that I believe or think. I still believe this is a massive PR stunt. I still believe it’s partially to cover up Luke and Michael’s relationship, and I think it’s going to get even more ugly before it gets better. 

Alas, my co-admins and I aren’t going anywhere. We’re going to see this shit through till the end. 

ETA: Crystal read the article that Jezebel posted about their engagement being a spon-con and promptly emailed the writer to “clear up” the perception. 

It’s just...so laughable that it’s almost sad. She got so offended by an internet article that she felt the need to email them and clarify that all that was said wasn’t true. If you ask me...that’s just more proof that that is is FAKE AF.