#also this is like 10% of their lore they are insane freaks. anyway

[raikkonenvettels]

hello and welcome to everyone seeing this to

where i tell you why these two men are so special and why you should vote for them! let’s begin!

preface -> 2003: seb in the ferrari garage and (possible) first meeting? (there is an italian article from 2013 where kimi says they have been friends for ten years. is it an hyperbole? probably but it’s very interesting)

2006: they were friendly from 2006 (info found in a finnish article from 2019). this confirms the earlier theory for sure honestly (aka they met). maybe they didn’t see each other that much but they certainty knew each other (courtesy of michael maybe? but this is just speculation don’t mind me)

2007: you all know what i’m going to say and i will say exactly that. kimi was the ONLY driver to look at seb in the eyes and to respect him from day one. also he took the drinks for him when the other drivers wanted to see seb drunk and embarrass him (kimi as a knight in a shining armor my absolute beloved <333 what a gentleman)

2008: i know it’s stupid but seb was asked to choose between felipe lewis and robert kubica for who he would support in the championship fight and he said kimi. the crush was definitely showing

2009: seb going to the finland rally aka kimi’s first rally and specifically waiting for him in the tent. kimi’s smile as he sees him while he descends the stairs is priceless <3 (also seb followed kimi’s whole race from the helicopter. he said it was a cool experience. yes i saw the video of him explaining how it was to be on a heli on tik tok iykyk)

2010: gay longing™️ (seb saying his only friend on the grid was kimi but he went away. poor baby give him back his man. also saying that kimi inspired him to win his championship)

2011: even more gay longing™️ (the autosport awards where seb was about to say he loved kimi and did his impression. just normal dudes things)

2012: the whole season BUT PARTICULARLY. seb saying he had missed kimi and he is happy he is back. china 2012 (seb taking the secret elevator to kimi’s room). whater the fuck that abu dhabi podium was (save nando pls)(they literally went crotch to crotch in that one idk what to tell you). also after the bahrain race where seb looked like he was going to devour kimi whole. you know just normal stuff

2013: singapore gp 2013. also kimi partying hard at seb’s championship party after having a fight with lotus (and most probably fucking that twink). also also kimi being the only person to alway and i mean always defend seb from the media and telling them seb is an amazing guy, always humble etc etc (everyone and i mean EVERYONE hated seb. all of the media too). ah and also “i prefer kimi” we get it babygirl you want kimi as a teammate. we get it. WE GET IT STOP SAYING IT IN EVERY SINGLE PRESS CONFERENCE.

2014: kimi saying seb is doing amazingly with the car he has even if he is struggling meanwhile everyone else was piling up insults at him. yeah. also their press conferences and driver pared were particularly gay this year (cue that one photo where the ferrari mechanics stare longingly at them while they are walking super close to each other. what a time to be alive)

2015: well…the whole reason he signed for ferrari in particular (apart from the fact it’s ferrari) was most probably because of kimi and their amazing relationship. also singapore 2015 anyone? (they were so gay in that one, press conference where they looked about to kiss al the time and everything else. do i have to remind you all about the pit board thing?). also this is the year of seb’s denial (it did not work we all know he is gay for that man)

2016: the quiz ferrari did in monaco and seb knowing kimi’s lap record. ok FANBOY. also idk if it’s from this year but seb saying that if he wasn’t in f1 he would be a kimi fan? i’m connecting the dots (he is insane about that old man). also china 2016 and seb apologizing to kimi. ALSO THEM HAVING A DATE LOOKING AT THE SUNSET AFTER THE RUSSIAN GP WITH WINE (and no i am not joking this actually happened)

2017: hungary 2017. need i say more? no but i will because honestly this being after monaco 2017 aka the race where kimi was PISSED (and rightfully so) for not having won AND he defended seb from the mercs willingly (seb had a problem to the streering wheel) and THEN seb not only said “thank you for helping me” in the cooldown room but also he does THE most iconic thing in the herstory of the sport and just. takes kimi’s hand on the podium. in front of literally everyone. in a homophobic country. and kimi just let him. iconic, no one will ever be like this

2018: seb is still on about how he prefers kimi as his teammate. also him being tricked into signing for ferrari for another two years because they told him kimi was going to be with him only for elkann to ruin everything (as he does)(also yes mauri wanted to sign kimi again. he gets it)

2019: “i’m not in love with kimi so i can’t say i miss him. but i do miss him” i don’t think sebastian vettel realizes the more you say something isn’t true the more it sounds like it is true (bc it is)

2020: possibly the year seb decided his relationship with kimi was going to be kept more private? also them deciding and going back from the australian gp together before anyone had even said it was cancelled. my iconic kings

2021: a lot of many different little moments (and seb still holding the umbrella for him, just like he did in 2008 and through their whole time together) + the retirement party speech. yes i do cry about it seb knows him so well and kimi looking at the screen??? i cry about it EVEN MORE

2022: monza gp. i know i might sound crazy but they definitely met and we just didn’t see it bc seb’s kids were there (it has been said seb took his kids to more races towards the end of the season/in this season in particular). also the behind the grid episode!!! (kimi being the biggest natural talent. that he doesn’t want to say they have a bond (they have))

2023: kimi being the only retired driver seb followed on instagram (mick is not included bc he didn’t exactly retire) and it stands true to this day :). ah and btw kimi, follow him back pls i know you love him showing tits for you but come on king

2024: “wdym this year??? we didn’t get anything this year—“ WRONG YOU’RE JUST NOT DELUSIONAL ENOUGH. i’m considering them being in the nordic regions at the same time a simi moment. they are old men in love yadda yadda yadda

anyways always remember

thank you for listening! (or well…reading)

Group A: Semifinal

[harmoniouseclipse]

Woe fankids be upon ye

Doing a little series where I took some ship requests on my instagram to make them fankids, this one is for me tho (jeanlisa to kick it off whoo 🙌🏻) The lineup so far is Cytham, Kavetham, Lionfish (aka Freminet x Gaming aged up probably idk how old they are canonically), Cynonari, Jealuc, and Beiguang, and feel free to send me some other pairings you wanna see (as long as they are legal pls otherwise I will ignore it 👎)

I'm gonna ramble about some headcanons and lore for them under the cut, continue with caution bc I'm insane

These two are my brainrot rn, don't even joke lad. And I wanna tell yall their name meanings too bc I like them a lot 🥹 Zephra's means "west wind" derived from Greek, and it's the feminine version of Zephyr. Tyrian was a type of purple dye used by the Ancient Phoenicians, huge huge HUGE thanks to my pookie bear @miothefish for helping me out with his name!!! Also he has Lisa's butterfly earring and you can't see bc of the angle but Zephra has the rose that went in her hair holding her ponytail <3

I'm also making a massive family tree for the characters as a go along, and just the jeanlisa tree is taking up half of the canvas bc of the KoF and Sumeru characters since Cyno is their uncle and the rest of the gang are their honorary uncles 😭 I'll be posting that once the series is done/all the requests are finished/I run out of ships and otps I enjoy

Here's an alternative version with some more info on most of the characters I wanted to briefly mention in their relation to them; Tyrian likes calling Eula his aunt too even though she was never really considered one for them so it's kind of like her unofficial title she pretends to dislike but she loves it and dotes on Tyrian 🤭 She and Diluc also helped train Zephra with a claymore and Diluc kind of became a parental figure to her in her teen years after Lisa's passing 🥺 She also feels like she's outshined by Jean and that she's not smart or powerful enough to follow in Lisa's footsteps (something that Lisa wouldn't want anyways bc it led her to her death 😔) rip zephra she's just like me fr

And yeah some Kaeya angst bc he's still going thru it I fear, and Jean is single mombossing but she's worried for zephra which me too dawg, im afraid to say she might be cooked 😦 Zephra is also kind of like a weird mix of Lisa when she was her age and Jean, where overall she's well-mannered and kind but she can be competitive and feel the need to push herself too much and pull a few strings to get what she wants from time to time. Tyrian is a ray of sunshine tho, he has not yet witnessed the horrors 💔 I do think that Jean is also a lot easier on him than her mom was with her so that also helps. He's very shy tho and wants to stick with Zephra or Razor most of the time, and they both have some nasty tan lines from going out with Razor and Klee and Fischl a lot 😔 Cyno also freaking loves them and dotes on them and Tyrian is getting a TCG addiction because of it smh, Cyno is also one of Zephra's favorite people and when she's in Sumeru she stays with him and Alhaitham (bc in my universe they are married ough I love cytham)

And (I think?) Klee physically and mentally ages slower than humans so I think she'd be technically 9 or 10, and Zephra is left with babysitting duty most of the time if she's home on break or smth 😭 Klee really looks up to her tho

Also, I wrote Tyrian's last bullet point like he was super young when Lisa died, but I think he was around 7 so he actually remembers Lisa better than I intended it to sound, he was just younger than Zephra (who was 11 at the time) and just didn't have as much time with her as Zeph did, but his most fond memory of Lisa was reading with her and she probably taught them some potion-making skills too.

I think there will be some abyss angst in here too at some point, since I hc Lisa to be probably an Abyss Lector/Harold (I forget which is which) um so thinking that Zeph and Tyrian experiencing some not normal things happening and Jean doesn't know what to do since Lisa also didn't really know what that dog in her was until it was too late 😔 That's what Kaeya's for tho since he's like the heir of the abyss???? Go off king. Also some touchy ragbros angst bc Kaeya is scared for Zeph knowing how close she is with Luc and he doesn't want him to push her away because of her being from the abyss or smth (they mostly made up but it's still a fear in Kaeya's mind both for him and Jean's kids)

I think that's all I wanted to touch on for now?? Mainly just thinking about domestic fluff and angst all the time now 🥺 Zeph not being able to be open with Jean bc she feels like a disappointment but Jean would literally actually die for her and shes proud of her no matter what ough im going to lose my freak dawg guess who my favorite fankid is it's super hard ik

Send me asks or dms or whatever for more ship requests!!! I'm having so much fun with this dawg 🫶🏻

[nyoomfruits]

fics that are essential landoscar lore to you 3 2 1 go

[shoves the enitre contents of the ao3 landoscar tag at you] there you go :)

IN ALL SERIOUSNESS. this is so hard why would you ask this of me aaahhhh but OKAY.

(below a read more because uuuuh. this accidentally got really long)

how much can you fit (under your skin) by cloudcollector | E | 4,5k

Oscar has biteable thighs. Lando has teeth.

this one is self explanatory and what prompted you to send me this ask i think. anyway i've said this before but even if you dont like thighs you will come out of this a thigh lover. also 10/10 dynamic like everything is so!!! about this fic. introduced reading oscar to the world which i think should be a staple in all landoscar fics actually

Negative splits by leafmealone | T | 10k

So officially, Oscar Piastri, pretty good steepler and pretty bad pacer, was now a professional runner. They wanted him to steeple, mostly, though he’d be doing cross country in the fall, and Lando had pinky promised him, mid-distance guy to mid-distance guy, that if he wanted to get into the 3k flat indoor then he would get him in. Oscar didn’t really want to ask how he planned on doing that. Felt safer not to ask.

very important landoscar lore to me personally which if you've been following me a while you probably know why. anyway 10/10 and a must read makes me feel very insane every time. also leaf did put the sports boys in another sport as well which is also mandatory reading in my personal opinion.

only found by eisenberg | T | 7k

“Hey, well. No strings attached, right?” Oscar says, strategically. Lando smiles and says, “hell yeah. And now that that’s established, what’s your stance on aliens? Also, do you still want your cake?” -- cinderella soulmates au where whatever you lose, your soulmate finds. except: oscar has a soulmate and lando is a No-Match, a person who doesn't have a soulmate.

what is a mandatory reading list without a soulmate au truly. AND LET ME TELL YOU. 10/10. dynamic is of the charts fantastic, beautifully captures the differences between lando and oscar but why they work anyway and gaaahhh. sometimes i just stare at the ceiling for three hours and think about this fic no biggie

what would you do (if I went to touch you now)? by laceyamethyst | E | 30k

“Okay, so they both like each other. We need to get them together.” “How? Lando’s too freaked out to think straight and Oscar is the human embodiment of the standing man emoji.” Charles purses his lips for a moment before he snatches his boyfriend’s phone up from the other side of the table. “What are you doing?” “Initiating Mission Landoscar.” “Did you just make that up?” Charles waves at him dismissively as he begins texting, and Max lays his head down on the coffee table and prays for strength. *** In which Max tries to prove to an oblivious Charles how glaringly obvious it is that Lando is head over heels in love with Oscar. When Charles finally gets with the program, Lestappen go on A Mission™ to get the two idiots to admit their feelings for each-other, but it’s easier said than done.

first of all this fic is perfect, show stopping, laugh out loud funny. SECOND OF ALL this fic is the best way to bully your lestappen friends into shipping landoscar because it actually has a super sweet established relationship lestappen side plot. also this whole fic is from max's pov which means you get a beautiful outsider pov look at the complete chaos that is lando and oscar pining for each other. delightfull really.

Your Plans (And Those Slow Hands) by xxcelientje | E | 4k

He could probably fit both of Oscar’s hands in one of his own, he could for sure use one hand to hold both of Oscar’s wrist and an idea entered his mind. He smiled at Oscar. ‘You like my hands?’ Oscar’s cheeks reddened even more as he nodded, his eyes still on their joined fingers. ‘They fascinate me,’ he admitted, biting his lip. OR: Lando and Oscar have some fun (and share some feelings) after the Belgium GP

just like the thigh fic will give you a thing for oscar's thighs this will give you a thing for lando's hands. gaahhh their dynamic in this is just so!!!!!!!!! the way theyre so HORNY for each other 10/10

carried away by venerat | E | 22k

“Oscar,” Lando said. “Don’t hate me, alright, but I've—”

did you really think i was going to do a mandatory reading list without a venerat fic???? lmao. anyway all of venerat's stuff is mandatory but this one is my personal fave i think. TOP TIER dynamic truly, and its FAKE DATING. what more can a person want really

change the weather by sharls | E | 5k

Lando knows what a thong is, of course he does—but the team needs content, the team needs clicks, and he just so happens to be well-versed in the art of going viral.

is a mandatory landoscar reading list really complete without a thong fic??? i think not. and this is so!!!!!!!!! everything about this just Makes Sense. if you told me this had actually happened i would be like. yeah. that checks out. very incredibly in character and just !!!!!!! very hot and funny and perfect.

all right theres a lot more but??? i promised myself i would rec only 5 fics and this is already 7, so... i'll stop here. for now

[motor-city-selfryed]

WICKED .... THAT MOVIE. WAS SO LIFE CHANGING. THAT MOVIE WAS SO GOOD PLEASPLEPALSPELSPSLS this is ABSOLUTELY a yap session so if u dont wanna hear abt that then thats why theres a cut PLUS THERES INSANE SPOILERS SO and also dont mind me sounding like a newbie i watched the musical but i forgot everything so uhm....

THERES ALSO SOME ZARI LORE IN THIS YAP SO !!! long story short: 10/10 absolutely gorgeous and beautiful but some parts did disturb me a little :-)

so i wanted to go see this SO BAD because i actually watched the musical thru slime tutorials because my uncle (not biologically, hes a meteorologist that works at the job i intern at and the job my dad works at as a director) requested it because he ALWAYS plays defying gravity everytime im there and i was like omg this shit is SO GOOd when the movie comes out ill be the first one there

and i was *PRIME EXAMPLE* 🗣️🗣️

this movie. oh my god. that was LIFECHANGING. i love how the story of wicked itself is just how to treat others the way u wanna be treated okay like its not that hard i fear...my mum said that she liked this movie mostly because of the indirect reference to how real life is with black women and girls who had to deal with what elphaba went thru and how just your skin colour can change everyone's perspective on you and my mum was so true for that 😕

but anyway, aside from that, that movie was LESBIAN. SO SO SOS OS SO SO SO SO HOMOSEXUAL I WAS ROLLING MY EYES THE ENTIRE MOVIE LIKE BITCH IF YALL DONT KISS ALREADY LITERALLY WAS RIPPING MY HAIR OUT ☹️☹️☹️ there was a scene where they both fell on glinda's bed together snd glinda was looking SO fondly at elphaba i thought they were abt to kiss PLUS THERE WAS A SCENE WHERE GLINDA GOT CLOSE TO ELPHABA'S FACE MEOWMEOWMEOWMO LESBIAN.

side note rq. fiyero MEOWWWW HMU BABYGIRL bro bro bro. hear me out PLEASE PLEASE he is SO FUCKING GORGEOUS the way him and glinda were like spinning around eachother omfg i turned to my mum so fast and said "GIRLLL 🤤🤤" like clean up on aisle my pants IM KIDDING

ANYWAY BACK TO THE MAIN PLOT, i love the little references to the wizard of oz! i never watched the og wizard of oz but i ALWAYS watched the wiz growing up (the one with diana ross as dorothy) and so omg!! there was a scene with a little lion that fiyero and elphaba saved from that fuckass history teacher (ill get to that soon) and i think that was the cowardly lion eeek ! plus there was a scene where glinda clicked her red heels together I FREAKED OUT plus they COLOURED THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD YELLOW WHATSYSGSHEH i just UGEHEG

now to the disturbing parts.... the animal cruelty in this movie did make my stomach turn a bit like im glad they touched on the fact that animals r treated so so so badly but damn that kinda made me sick

THE SINGING IN THIS MOVIE WAS SO FUCKING ON TOP I DONT WANNA HEAR IT. CYNTHIA AND ARIANA ATE TO THE SKIES BRO THEY LEFT NOT A SINGLE CRUMB IN SIGHT IF THEY DONT GET LIKE 5 GRAMMIES FROM THIS ILL KMS THE DEFYING GRAVITY PART. THE ICONIC AAUWYUAHAUAAAUAUHHHHHHH BRO. CYNTHIA LITERALLY DEVOURED I CANT EXPLAIN.

AND ALSO WHOEVER DID COSTUME DESIGNING BETTER GET 5 OSCARS THE ENTIRE MOVIE I WAS LIKE woauhhhh BC THE FITS R SO GORGEOUS? GLINDA HAD LIKE 500 OF THEM THE ENTIRE MOVIE THEYRE ALL SO GORG STOP.

anyway i think thats it for my yap....main points here is just that those two r fucking lesbians and ill die on this hill idc if its alone or with a community bc THEYRE GAY FOR EACHOTHER. until elphaba started singing abt fiyero bro get outta here.....

[dorizardthewizard]

Galactik Football season 3 rewatch, eps 10 - 12

Episode 10:

So we open up with Yuki getting mad at Micro-Ice and thinking Zoleen is his girlfriend, and Mice is dumb enough to not reject that claim when she asks him directly if they're going out. He also barely acknowledges Yuki's birthday despite previously rehearsing this dramatic confession of love to her. Thran and Ahito are literally, and I mean literally the only Snow Kids that don't have any love drama going on (I know Mark's got something coming) and every single one has revolved around love triangles, whether misunderstood or not. I can't take this anymore, I'm at my limit.

Anyway, *hits play again*

Since when did this Cyclops dude have a wholeass funded show, when he wasn't even a proper journalist before?

WOOWAMBOO RETIREMENT RUMOUR?! SAY IT AIN'T SO!

Oh christ this is the start of the Sinedd parents arc isn't it. Holy shit they try to stuff so much into this season. But happy we finally got the backstory on Sinedd with him not being born on Akillian!

I can barely watch this segment holy shit it's just so awful (in universe, I mean, not the writing). Not just because I know they're con artists but it's so sudden, Hush Sharky making a whole spectacle of this on live TV in front of an audience and Sinedd had NO IDEA that he was going to meet his freaking PARENTS. WHO HE THOUGHT WERE DEAD ALL HIS LIFE. This emotional and insanely personal moment being used for entertainment fits with the corporate hellscape that the show takes place in, but what the hell. He has the full right to be pissed at Sharky.

Not the con artist parents running off immediately when the ground starts shaking 😭 Parents my ass

lol of course Micro-Ice has to fall in the cake. I think they use him for slapstick too much in this season

Tbf I quite like the villains in this season, it's an interesting dynamic with Lord Phoenix having his own motives but losing control of Vega

Sinedd's reunion with his parents is a pretty sweet moment if it weren't for the fact that IT'S A LIEEEE ToT.

Aarch yelling at Artegor about Adim... all this drama...

THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTIINNNNGGNGNGG and it's so silly

This is how I picture it

Is that the fucking Netherball music

The little TV spots with Yuki and Mei talking about each other before the match are cute! Makes the world feel more lived in and gives us some more interactions between the girls, even if not directly face to face here

I like Mei berating Sinedd for taunting Yuki when she's injured but... girl. He was always like this. You knew this. Why are you surprised?? They never actually showed him becoming a better person, just that he suddenly liked Mei and convinced her to join the Shadows. And Mei does not strike me as a poor judge of character so why would she date him....?

Wow Elektras not letting Mei through to help her friend? Why? They were literally celebrating her birthday together tf??

Poor Yuki, what a shitshow of a match for her although she did score a goal (I'm guessing the Breath is more powerful than the Elektra's flux since she's running in to attack). Loved her lil' chat with Mei though, I will say this season gave us more of the girls in the team being friends which I really do appreciate.

Here for the other Shadows players cooing and awing at Sinedd with his parents, I want to see more of what the team dynamic is like since they seemed to welcome him quickly back in season 1

Thran coming through with his tech knowledge!

Episode 11:

Does Bennett just carry a harmonica on him all the time haha

Harvey fought in the flux war?? ok cool lore I guess?????

Corso wondering whether to trust Sonny just because he didn't bring up Magnus straight away is a bit weird? I just feel that with all they've been through, it would take more for Corso to start questioning his faith in Sonny. This is also like, a 5 minute plot point that goes nowhere so why???

Tia talking with her parents about her concerns is an improvement from what their relationship used to be like in season 1, it's good to see!

Oh so Mei is a striker now. Is this implying that Mei's decision was influenced by her mother? Weren't we over that?? Still kind of sad to see her mum dismiss the SK and seem like she's still the same. Mei probably feels she'll never be good enough for her.

Not Sinedd complimenting D'jok just to be polite to Maya 😂 But what do you mean they haven't met yet? It's literally this season (I think?) that shows Sinedd was friends with D'jok when they were young kids! Maya hangs out with Mama Ice at the cafeteria as well, there's no way they've never interacted before!

Yeah Tia, it WAS stupid of you to be jealous of Lun-Zia. Weird though bc the show previously implied Lun-Zia liked Rocket but turns out she had a boyfriend all along?

Aarch: Artegor? Aarch: I'm sorry we started a bit earlier today, I forgot to mention it

Aarch you're such a petty bitch 😭

Oooo Micro-Ice is up for kick-off. Seeing them antagonistic towards each other is so sad :( Although season 1 Micro-Ice would have found a way to roast D'jok lol

I just realised team Paradisia and the Elektras probably have visors so they can have more diverse character designs in the 2D animation, while still copy-pasting models in the 3D scenes lol

Go Mark! Why did the goalkeeper run out from the goal I don't know anything about football

Nice to see Mark and Micro-Ice working together and having fun

D'jok's plan being to pass to Nikki-4 because the SK will think he's too selfish to let someone else score is so fucking funny

Oooo you don't get penalty shootouts that often in GF

I do love and miss sassy D'jok

Nikki-4: I guess you'll always be a Snow Kid at heart D'jok: At least I've got one

Bold claim with the way you've been acting, D'jok

Niki-4 threatening physical violence on D'jok lmaoo I guess she is a cyborg but it's weird D'jok actually held out until now with the way he's been acting towards the SK. Why does he suddenly now have a moral dilemma?

Episode 12:

Now to rant about the Ahito betrayal plot <3

Ok this how to beat Ahito thing is dumb from the get go. It's treated like some big secret and it would be a big betrayal to reveal it, but that's not how sports work. They could easily have figured out his weak points by just watching a load of videos of his saves, in fact they SHOULD have been doing this anyway – the best teams don't win just by playing their best, but by knowing their opponent's strengths and weaknesses and being able to exploit that! It's not dishonest it's just... how it works! Rocket was doing this back in season 1 when he was suggesting tactics!

So to treat it like a big betrayal to reveal something that's easily obtainable public knowledge is dumb. And also, they're treating this as if knowing a player's weakness is some magic key that means they can definitely beat him if they exploit it, which is... also not how sports work!! It's not like he'll definitely fail to save your shot if you hit in a certain way, and it's not like he can't adjust his play after you score a goal. It just.... it makes no sense!!

It was also kind of weird to hear D'jok talk about wanting to win honestly when he was fouling Warren last match and got scolded for disrespecting the game, they made it look like D'jok fully only cared about winning now, whatever the cost, but now suddenly he's having second thoughts and doesn't want to betray a team he's been shit-talking all this time?

I also don't like that what made him cave in the end was mind control, it takes away a lot of accountability. It also would have fit more for D'jok to continue doing anything it takes to win, so he can realise he's wrong later and that he's just been using that to run away from his feelings. As stupid as this “betrayal” is, it should have been his low point showing how far gone he is, his big mistake, that he can then work up from.

Rant over <3

Nork, commenting on a player's health problems is just rude

Of course Rocket starts feeling ill the second he has to go up

THRAN SCORES!!! Nice to see him do some shots

Goooo Lun-Zia! She's been a good addition

Last season I got sad that Micro-Ice was the first to flunk his shot, please don't let me down this time

YESSSSS

D'jok: Ahito always jumps in place, a little more to the side he's gonna leap to. He can't control it, it's stronger than he is!

And THAT's the way to beat him? Totally foolproof? Bruh. If all the SK knew this and it's sooooo easy to score against him once you figure it out, surely Aarch should have.... I don't know, helped him train so that he doesn't reveal which way he's jumping as easily?? THIS IS EASILY DISCOVERABLE INFORMATION GUYS THE POINT OF TRAINING IS TO IMPROVE ON YOUR WEAKNESSES

NOOOOO TIA OF ALL PEOPLE???!!! I HAD TO TRADE A MICRO-ICE GOAL WITH THIS? 😭😭😭 It happens though. Also weird she's the first to use her flux so far for this like, it's penalties. You don't have to conserve your energy, just use the goddamn Breath!

TT^TT Nooooo they look so devastated :( On the other hand, kind of crazy it took three seasons for them to actually lose an important match lol it's been win win win the whole time so far, so kind of refreshing.

I want to cheer on Mei for putting Sinedd in his place after shit-talking the Snow Kids but like, girl, HOW IS THIS SURPRISING?! HE'S BEEN LIKE THIS IN EVERY MATCH YOU'VE PLAYED AGAINST EACH OTHER, YOUR LAST INTERACTION BEFORE SEASON 3 WAS HIM PUSHING YOU TO THE GROUND AND THREATENING YOU!!!

She thought he only hated D'jok and now she's realising he's just nasty to everyone? Girl where were you when he was bullying Micro-Ice on your team lol. I mean she didn't care back then but she does now! Mei is not dumb, writers

That was a pretty good pick me up speech, Aarch

The animation makes this kind of funny out of context but, Artegor hesitantly reaching out to Aarch but then thinking better of it... aarrrrgh </3

Quick shoutout to the background designs in this show, they look really cool and I love how it's futuristic while still being colourful and bright. There's some beautiful art of the natural scenery too

What's up with reporters immediately wondering if a team is done for, or the coach might be resigning, after ONE loss? They're still GF champions, losing once doesn't mean it's all downhill from there

Adim standing up for her man <3

In this dub he calls her Mum-Ice lmao. So I guess it is just Mama-Ice? I do prefer the novelisation with her actual name, she's not mum to everyone, although I wouldn't mind having -Ice at the end of a name being some family tradition or cultural thing. Also love seeing her hanging out with Maya!

Poor Kernor just can't eat her ice cream in peace huh 😭

Aww Mama-Ice's speech is so sweet

Aarch needs a new start now more than ever? Why exactly?

Norata dancing in the back <3

Holy shit, Brim Simbra actually intervening?

Oooooo secret supplier guy was Harris all along, who would have guessed?

Huh looking at the ending screen of this youtube upload, I didn't know Robotboy was Gaumont animation too! Well probably Alphanim back then

[karmawonders]

🌸Hi! I write for sagau, the Self Aware Genshin Impact AU, as well as the Cult AU. Almost hilariously my RNG has been much, much better after starting to write for these AUs.🌸

Edit: these are just my rambles and this is not all reader friendly but I had to s h a r e . Please tell me other sagau writers/consumers have had other similliar experiences

Edit 2: this post will be updated regularly with my strange coincidences

I got Hu Tao after joking about “ayo me the all creator wants you to come home” and the bitch did? First 10 pull? With like little to no pity? Also with single pulls? I got Kaeya on a standard outta no where, after LiTERALlY taking him off my team.

Kaeya came home AGAIN after using him as an ice bridge on a SINGLE pull on standard.

Barbara has cooked me w a y more sweet madame then nessecary. I cooked 20 and she made me 12 extra? Same with Jean? Nearly all the time?

I’ve been like playing the game as if they could actually hear me, as a jOkE. And now my Characters CRIT nearly every attack despite their terrible builds. I haven’t changed any artifacts? I’m like grateful but also I am concerned.

I’ve gotten the same 20 primo achievement multiple times? And the primos are stacking?

Making food, getting no bonus foods from Xiangling. I quietly whispered “extras please.” And the next 4 dishes gave extras back to back? None before, only AFtER?

Kaeya has come home an alarming amount of times. 2 of those times were in random single pulls in the standard. I got him before I even got him in the story event. (Mentioned before above but im still shook)

Whenever I verbally ask for multiple characters in ten pulls I have always gotten 2+? I’m gonna start messing with this more to see if maybe me speaking my desire helps? I dunno.

I messed with it again on Yaes banner and I didn’t say anything. I got Thoma, who is strangely very similar to Kaeya now that I think about it, he has come home with other characters a couple times as well.

I sat down the traveller at a cute spot to “rub their head” with the cursor cuz i love them and I STG this BiTcH SMIlED ? LIKE HELd THE SMIlE AS WELL? And as soon as I was gonna get a screenie it stopped ??? i ??? 😭

Venti came home and ate my pity early at 44 pulls after I jokingly said he better not since Im trying to get Ayaka.

Ayaka cane home at 30 pulls right after venti I think I actually am god

I’ve literally been like “oh snap imma get isekaid this is just like that one fan fiction I read-“ you know, as a joke.

Well I was scrolling through character profiles and - I- what? Like?

The character details for my lumine says “The Keeper is fading away; the creator has not yet come. But the world shall burn no more, for you shall ascend.”

Is the keeper that unknown god? They said they were the sustainer of heavenly principles and that’s similar-

Listen imma be honest I don’t look at a lot of character profiles but I’m pretty sure it didn’t say that aight. Am I going insane what? That better be for fuckin everyone or imma freak- like in a good way cuz I’m totally fine waking up in Teyvat but also HOLD UP?

How much of Genshin Impacts story actually involves some seeming All-Creator or the player? Or is this me loosing my goddamn mind? Im not surprised if it’s either.

Regardless, this brings up good ideas for future sagau fanfics, and valid questions about genshin itself. What exactly is Celestia? Some mediator? A corrupted council? Who is this creator that’s a c t u a l l y m e n t i o n e d .

My ear is literally ringing as I write this I’m actually kinda feeling adrenaline.

I want to incorporate this into some sort of narrative. I really wanna dig into Genshin now, I’m actually like, hyped? Lore? Going brrr? New ideas for different writings?

Anyway if I randomly disappear please note that I totally am in Teyvat somehow and am pray be, not in some Imposter AU.

Is this some sort of Meta joke or have I finally lost my few remaining marbles.

Istg I just saw Lumine smile at me- OH SHE DEFINITELY DId AGAIn WHaT

🌸Please share if you have had any similliar experiences cuz I’mma starting to sweat : ) 🌸

[goldensunset]

alright as far as what game i should get next i’ve got votes for:

1. hollow knight (please no i can’t handle that i’m not strong enough augh i tried once ok i was so bad at it. but i mean i guess i’m better at video games now than i once was. and i’m not even really all that freaked out by insects and such. even so idk)

2. the great ace attorney (most likely not what i’m looking for but idk maybe someday)

3. legends arceus (i would consider getting a pokémon game only to play it with my older siblings. and only if they’d buy it for me. they’ve tried pressuring me in the past lol. i was never the pokémon kid growing up idk)

4. xenoblade chronicles (this seems promising. i’ve heard great things and somehow absorbed no actual spoilers. don’t even really know what happens in it. i’d need someone to do the hard work of trying to sell it to me by giving me a fan-crazed rundown of what it’s like without spoiling anything big in order to pique my interest, naturally. also if the next game is coming out in just over a month how am i supposed to play through two entire games in time without rushing my experience)

5. final fantasy 10 (this is on the switch??? anyway i uh also don’t know what happens in this game at all really. aside from kh lore osmosis but that’s really not much. apparently it’s good and i trust riya’s judgement. idk. i’m sure there are lots of ff fans following me. so same as above: i’d need someone to try to sell me on it)

6. kirby and the forgotten land (you know i’m kinda more interested in something with a serious plot unless you mean to tell me that this game really does have one. i’ve heard kirby has crazy insane lore but does that really bleed through a lot. idk. but the gameplay looks fun i think and the music slaps)

7. fire emblem three houses (do i., dare become a fire emblem fan. i feel like all i ever do is make fun of them it would look bad now. music is baller that’s what i know. but man have i heard extremely mixed reviews about this game. like some people have expressed such loathing but then there are also a lot of people who get really hyped up about it.)

anyway send in your recommendations i guess. i’d be mostly interested in an rpg/jrpg probably or just anything with a banger story. remember nintendo switch only

[marindram]

full transcription of Marin's blog from Omega Mart!

huge thanks to @b0chelly for recording a scroll-through, which i typed this out from. (and warning for Omega Mart lore/story spoilers. second half is in reblog)

Marinknows.best

Location: Seven Monolith Village

Last Login: 12/31/2019

Profile Views: 101,275

About me: I love listening to music and glitter

Friends (0)

June 26, 2018

Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeee!

So 14 feels way different than 13. For real. I think it's because I was expecting 13 to feel different, but sometimes when you expect something it turns out the opposite ya know?

Plus, 13 is like, "I'm new to being a teenager!!"

14 is more like, "I'm becoming the person I want to be." At least that's how I want it to be. I wanted to start this blog as a record of all that.

I should ask Did you guys feel the same way when you turned 13 and 14?

But probably nobody's gonna read this because I'm just a weirdo in the weird dessert. I mean, I know my best friend Jesse is reading this (hi Jesse). Besides her, crickets.

But yeah, if you are reading this and you don't know me - I live in Seven Monolith Village, a teensy tiny town that you've only heard of if you're into aliens or homesteading. And I'm literally stuck. As in, I'm physically unable to leave. My first memories are of all the adults in my life (Charlie, my great-uncle/father-figure - Rose, my what? Roommate? Mother-figure? Pseudo-aunt? All of the above? and my mom, Cecelia. who doesn't live here) telling me that for some reason, there's something wrong with me that makes it so I can't leave a certain radius of where we live. I got older and thought that they were just exaggerating to keep me safe, but then last year I tried. And it was, let's just say not good.

Anyway. That part of my life sucks, but not everything sucks. This year is all about Marin Dram 2.0. Not new, but definitely improved.

And maybe someday, somehow somebody will read this and care about what I have to say. Somebodies, even. Until then, this is Marin Dram signing off and sending my lame contemplations into the void!

July 1, 2018

Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 20 (and some of these will never happen like are literally unable to happen but JUST LET ME DREAM

1. Kiss someone (who???)

2. Meet HTB (kiss him) (jk he would never) (plus meeting him would be enough)

3. Go to Paris

4. Go to Rome (or somewhere cooler in Italy, look up where is the best pasta???)

5. Go to Greenland (why not???)

6. Go to New York City

7. Go to LA (with a dream and my cardigan lol)

8. Go to the Grand Canyon (this isn't mine, but 9, Jesse is sitting right here and she went to the GC when we were 12 and she's like blah blah blah it's my favorite place in the world and you'll love it. I'm doing this so she'll shut up.

9. Live in a normal house with normal rooms → ideally 12 of them: living room AND TV room, kitchen, dining room, 3 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms, study/library.

-plus an upstairs downstairs

-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I got my own

-plus an upstairs/downstairs

-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I get my own room with an actual door. Very into doors.

10. Go to a mall (Jesse says there's a bunch of bonkers ones in Vegas)

11. Make friends who aren't Jesse (no offense, Jesse)

12. Get Cecelia (my "mom") to teach me about business stuff so I can open my own cool coffeeshop/bookstore someday

13. Learn to drive (ask Charlie to teach me, he's obsessed with his truck) (Jesse says she can teach me because she's Little Miss Mechanic and thinks she knows everything about cars but news flash Jesse: you're you get than me)

14. Figure out my signature style- like I want people to send me pictures of things and be like "this just screamed Marin" and for that to be true

15. Liquid eyeliner??

16. I'm stopping here because I just read over all this and want to die/cry because easily 3/4 of these are literally impossible?

17. Kill me

18. Bye

19. Lololol Charlie just came in and I was complaining about this, not being able to leave and stuff, etc and he said that I should visit new places by... reading books?? And I mean I like to read. But dude. That's the dumbest thing I've ever head.

July 30, 2018

Okay so this is what I want my life to look like:

I want a pink room. Not just pink... P I N K. Cool pink wallpaper (floral? jacquard??), pink carpet, lots of pink flowers everywhere, a four-poster bed with a pink silk canopy, lots of cool pink throw pillows. Like, so pink that

people think I'm being sarcastic! Oh, and BOOKS. Floor-to-ceiling bookcases, and some of the shelves have, like, STUFF on them that isn't books, like gifts people gave me, or things I've collected on my JOURNEYS. You know, normal stuff that people who live on normal places and do normal things have.

If I lived in in this room, it'd be in awhite three-story house at the end of a cul-de-sac (did you know "culs-de-sac" is the plural? Not "cul-de-sacs"? crazy) and I'd wear very classic girly clothes and my hair would always do what I wanted it to. It'd be one of those towns that people call small, but it's actually a city. just one with a kinda small, cozy feeling. Somewhere that gets cold enough to wear cute jackets but not so cold I have to to like, shovel my driveway. Not a non-place with like 100 people where you can't even go outside without going crazy.

August 2nd, 2018

I guess I should explain where I live, for all my avid fans out there! (lol) (hello??)

So like... I don't live on Earth. At least, not the Earth you think of when you think of EARTH. I live in some some weird off-brand version of Earth called the Forked Earth where there are aliens and magic wells of magic energy and everything is MAGIC but like the crappy kind of magic, where the sun never fully rises and some goo called "runoff" has made everything wacky and oh yeah, my mom is responsible for that and everyone here hates her!! LOL

Also, I can't leave! Like, literally can't! Rose says I'm a "special child of Source" and that's why but that LITERALLY explains tells me nothing, in fact it just raises further questions that no one can seem to answer! AHHHHHHHHHH

Anyway, the last time I tried to leave I felt. When I try to leave I feel like I'm being pulled back by something, like you know those old cartoons where someone's on stage doing something dumb and then someone offstage pulls them away with a giant shepard's crook? It felt like that, and when I opened my eyes I was back in 7 Monolith Village. UGH.

I know this sounds crazy!!!!! But believe me when I say that I am the least crazy person here. Also, """here""" is C R A Z Y. Runoff has made everything the bad kind of psychedelic and then people here actually DRINK IT! Not only do I not DRINK THE STUFF THAT HAS MADE THE WORLD INSANE, I also do not talk to aliens (or whatever Nula are) like Rose or believe crazy conspiracy theories like Charlie, so I believe that qualifies me as the most normal person in the Forked Earth, thank you for this honor, I accept this award with humility and grace!

September 4, 2018

I had the weirdest dream last night?? I was swimming in a pool full of cereal, and when I came up for air, my mom was pouring milk on my head like she was rinsing my hair. She had her hand over my face like I was a little kid and she was shielding me from soap getting in my eyes.

Anyway I have no idea what it's supposed to mean. I went to bed hungry and I need to take a shower? Lol

October 16, 2018

I was trying to hide this entry from Jesse, but JESSE IS A NOSY PERSON. She says that blogs are for readers, and if I wanted something to be private then I should "Just write in a fucking notebook and hide it under your bed like a normal person, Marin." I'm allowed to have secrets!! Anyway, I'm making her a freaking playlist, that's why I wouldn't tell her what I was writing about. but EVEN STILL! I'm allowed to have secrets!! But I have this blog because I wanna get my feelings out, I wanna see everything in my head typed out all nice in a way that doesn't make it look insane. You know? I don't know who I'm asking.) Because, it's not like I go to a normal school or have a normal life where I'm surrounded by normal people I can talk to. No one knows about me! I'm trapped in this crazy place and This blog is my only outlet to the world outside. I KNOW that's heavy but it's true! The point is: Jesse's birthday is coming up. The central consistent thing in pretty much my whole life is sharing headphones with her and listening to music. The soundtrack to my entire existence is her. I wish I had money and could buy her the best presents of all time, but I can make her the best playlist of all time. I want it to be so good it feels like magic. I want her to think I'm magic. I had another dream the other night. I don't remember much, just glitter. I must be crafting too much. Or looking at festival makeup tutorials. Or both.

November 12, 2018

WARNING- Weird thoughts ahead, lol.

I can never tell which feelings are normal, and which are me being a giant weirdo. But for as long as I can remember, I've had this feeling like every part of my body that's possible to have a ribbon tied around it, has a ribbon tied around it. It's so weird. I can't see the other end of the ribbons - how far they go. where they're attached, nothing. And sometimes it's fine, because sometimes I can hardly feel them. I can forget about them for days at a time, weeks, months if I'm lucky. But then other times I can feel them like, pulling at me. It's freaking spooky, to have something pulling at you from somewhere you can't see. I can't tell if it's pulling me toward whatever it is? Or if it's trying to warn me? Or if I'm just insane??

Does that make sense? Does anybody else feel that way? (she asks into the void)

So idk I guess this ribbons-feeling is why I'm really careful all the time. Like I'm just a careful person. Charlie tried to give me a hard time about it, and I can't be like "I don't wanna pull back in the ribbons too hard without realizing it and wreck something!" because he'd be like "WTF Marin, do we need to get you help?" But also, more and more, I want to be the opposite of careful. I want to take a pair of comically oversized scissors and cut the ribbons into so many pieces that nobody can even tell what they are any more.

I don't know why I'm such a freak, only that I am. I don't know why I can't leave 7 Monolith, only that I can't. But there must be a reason, even if I can't see it, and I feel like it makes sense that the ribbons-feeling is part of that reason, right?

There's just a lot.

January 15, 2019

Happy new year! Lol I forgot to write on the actual first day of 2019, but OH WELL!

I got this new glitter nail polish, thanks to the monthly makeup subscription box my "mom" sends me as an outlet for her abandonment guilt. It has like, every color glitter imaginable without quite reading as "rainbow" which is fine just not really what I was in the mood for and it's vaguely halographic and shifts into all these different colors depending on the light. I'm obsessed. Anyway.

I was putting on another layer because I chipped it like 20 minutes into wearing it, and all of a sudden I had this feeling like I recognized the glitter? Like I felt this thing way deep in my gut and for a minute I couldn't breathe. It's the closest thing I've felt to how books and movies make Christmas look. Like I was home, with family, cookies and cider and all that stuff. Familiar and safe. I almost didn't recognize that feeling. And it came from the nail polish. How weird is that.

I mean, I don't want to make it sound like I've had this awful Charles Dickens childhood - Rose and Charlie are the best ever and always there for me and I love them a lot. But things never feel like...home. You know?

My mom always says this cryptic stuff about how I'm "special" and I wanna strangle her because I'm not, but you try getting my mom to stop doing anything she wants to do. Rose told me once that one day, I would "lead the charge into a new era of existence and access" because I'm "of the Source" and I was like uhhhh okay?? Charlie mostly treats me pretty normal, except when I ask him questions about our family. my mom or any Dram. He knows that I want to know more about them and he's my only real entrypoint, but apparently he's like the black sheep of that whole family. He and my mom were close way back right before I was born, but now whenever she comes to visit he barely even looks at her.

So that's to say: nobody tells me anything, ever.

January 16, 2019

Okay this is so weird. I wrote that entry yesterday about glitter and then last night I dreamed about glitter. Then I woke up with purple glitter in my bed?? Like not a lot, so at first I thought it was from my nail polish, but it was just a handful of purely purple glitter that looks nothing like my nail polish. SO WEIRD!!!!!!

February 14, 2019

Rose has an old book full of "ye olde" style fairy tales, and I flipped through it for the first time in forever today.

Not so weirdly, I've always been drawn to the story of Rapunzel.

Rapunzel couldn't leave the tower, or else she'd break her neck and die.

Same.

February 19, 2019

I was reading this article the other day in one of the teen magazines my "mom" gets me a subscription to and it was all about body positivity, which is great, but it was basically just like "wear a crop top if you wannna wear a crop top! it doesn't matter what size you are! You go, girl!" And like, sure. Yes. I am all for that. But doesn't it seem like there are some steps missing in there? Like, I can physically put on a crop top and wear it outside. But how do I convince myself that everybody isn't looking at me and making fun of me in their minds? How do I unlearn the last almost-fifteen years? How do I get actually positive about my body, not just put on a crop top and fight the urge to cry all day?

It's the same thing like when my mom sends me brochures from the CEO camp she ten when she was my age (her dad started the camp for her, which is an insane thing just by itself, but she did all the work, which is even more insane) and she's like "Marin, you lack direction for your life" and I'm like, cool mom. Yeah. I can see that. What I can't see is how to get there from here.

March 2, 2019

This is what I want my life to look like, volume 2:

The walls of my room are covered in Polaroids of me and my friends. There are lots of mirrors in all kinds of shapes. hearts and moons and stars. There's a record player and a lot of vintage records by Billie Holiday and Lena Horne and Peggy Lee and Nina Simone. And Christmas lights! Everywhere! Lots of of pink and purple Christmas lights everywhere.

If I lived in this room, I'd have so many friends and be part of so many clubs. My best friend would have a collection of vintage cameras, and every place we go to that has a photo booth, we'd get photos taken. Every time I'd look at myself in one of those mirrors, I'd feel happy at what I see and never weird or sad. (Jesse hates taking pictures, so even when I actually do normal stuff with her there's no evidence. What even is a life supposed to be without evidence? That's not an actual question you need to answer Jesse, it's just a question)

Anyway, if I lived in this kind of room, my mom would probably be like, an art history professor at a liberal arts college. That's how come everything looks so cool, because I would know stuff about art. My mom and I would love to try new recipes together. We get each other new cookbooks for every special occasion, and right now we're working out way through a Moroccan one. Moroccan Mondays.

In actuality, there's a dust storm happening outside and my eyes sting.

March 9, 2019

Here's what I'm obsessed with lately.

Can. You. EVEN???

February 3, 2020

Omg I totally forgot this blog existed!!

I lost the password and instead of just resetting it I got in one of my super stubborn moods (Taurus moon lol) and just kept putting in guesses and jokes on me, it locked me out. Anyway, that's a boring story.

But my friend Ximena is really good at hacking and stuff, so she got me back in. Yeah you read that right - I have friends. Obviously a lot has happened since my last post. Ximena moved out here a couple months ago (X's family used to live here but they moved away a while ago) and she introduced me to Lora who I sorta-not-really already knew, and Jesse and I have been hanging out with them a ton. Jesse kind of more than me. Which is fine!!

Anyway I'm 15 now? If I lived somewhere normal I'd be psyched about almost being 16, because I'd get a car and have a Sweet Sixteen and eat a huge PINK cake, but I don't!

February 16, 2020

I read this fanfic the other night that was written in the second person so everything was like "you." "you're doing this" etc you know?

So... You go to a drive-in movie with Heartthrob Boy, and he spills soda on you by accident. And you take off your shirt ( you have a tank top on, don't worry) to clean it up, bit you're still all sticky and self-conscious about being sticky and HTB like... used his tongue to get it off??? AAHHHHH I'M DISGUSTING

but also I wonder if a boy will ever touch any part of me with his tongue

March 2, 2020

Hi I don't know if you heard but I have friends :)))

March 15, 2020

I think I'm so into painting my nails and doing my hair because those are things that always fit. I don't have to worry about places not carrying about a size 8, or places that carry XLs but when you read the measurements they're actually size 8s too and it's like jesus if that's an XL what am I

My "mom" was confused why I needed new pants because mine still look new, but I showed her the thigh holes and she was like "that's a weird place for a hole, how did that happen" and I realized that when your legs are a certain size, you just don't know about thigh rub and what it does to clothes. Pants could just last for years.

No matter what, I can paint my nails with a different color nail polish on every finger, and I can always do a braid crown. And I know I'm cute as hell, etc, so this is not a Marin Needs to Learn to Love Herself thing. It's just an UGH thing

April 17, 2020

So Rose does all these Source experiments on plants and flowers and stuff. Tbh, it's just one if those things I hardly even register anymore because it's just always there. She's explained to me a million times what Source is/does/means, but the way Rose explains things sometimes is just a LOT to take in and she refers to me as a "child of Source" but I kinda figure that's like "child of God" right? What else would that mean?

But anyway, it's really annoying because dried flowers are a part of my new aesthetic and I pinned a bunch of them up on my wall but I woke up this morning to a freaking jungle of very alive flowers. I freaked out. on Rose, and she Rose said she didn't do it and I was like WELL THEN WHO DID and she said that I did??

Which like. Obviously that doesn't make sense. I asked her what she meant and She just shook her head and said " It's happening. We should have known" which is some horror movie shit that she refused to elaborate on. I love to feel safe and normal!!

Or maybe it's not a horror movie at all. But maybe it's a superhero movie? Maybe there's some kind of origin story I don't know about yet, and all of this will be worth it once I figure out my powers. I wonder what my costume will look like. Lol.

April 23, 2020

Is it possible to die from longing? I know that sounds melodramatic, but I'm also kinda serious?? Because it seems like one of those things that could fester and get infected and kill you. It's like when you fall down and bang up your knee, and you need to put a band-aid on the scrape for a while, but THEN you need to air it out - but how do you know when you're supposed to do each one of those things? And if you do either one too much, your knee gets infected. What if I smother my heart with band-aids for too long and it gets infected? This isn't about anybody. I just keep having these dreams about someone I never expected to have dreams about and they're so intense that they keep leaking into my life and I wonder if I need to do something about them.

May 2, 2020

So Jesse's gotten really into metal music, and I tried to get her to play me something since, AS PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED, that's what we've literally ALWAYS DONE with music and each other, and she kinda looked at Ximena out of the corner of her eye and said like "I don't think it's really your thing" And it was the meanest thing anybody's ever said to me.

So later I looked up Zenion, the band she was talking about, and I listened to every single fucking song they've ever recorded turned up as loud as it could go with my own headphones that are better than hers anyway, and I loved it. And I didn't love it just because she said I wouldn't. I loved it because it was loud and weird and wild and when I listened to it it made me feel like it's not crazy when so feel stuff so hard it's like my heart's gonna vibrate out of my body. And I would have told Jesse all this and we could have shared it, but I guess she thinks just because I like HTB and glitter and stuff, I don't have the capacity for anything else.

She clearly doesn't know me at all. So much for any kind of whatever, why would she ever want to kiss someone she clearly sees as like a stupid baby.

May 7, 2020

The dreams are getting weirder and they're happening more. I'm getting scared to go to sleep. Not that the dreams are always scary (they almost never are, or not scary like in a typically scary horror movie way). I mean, I've only ever been me. I don't know what other peoples' dreams are like.

The other night in one I was jumping on a trampoline, which is something I've never done in real life. I told Rose about it when I woke up, and she said "do you even know how to jump on a trampoline?" and I said "Rose, it's not like riding a bike. You don't have to learn. You just jump." and then we got into this whole thing about how some things we just know, and jumping's one of them, and how that's so weird. Sometimes I really like talking to Rose about stuff.

May 19, 2020

So, it's prom season in the real world. If I lived somewhere normal, my prom dress would be pink with lots of tulle and silk flowers at the shoulders, and it would fit perfectly and trying in dresses would be fun and not anxiety-inducing.

But since there are only like 10 teenagers currently in 7MV, were not having a homecoming. Cool.

May 27, 2020

So, mom came to visit this weekend, and I asked her about her prom. She was Typical Cecelia at first, very "Prom is a waste of time and money, Marin. It's a night when lesser people play dress-up to engage with their aspirations of grandeur." And I was like eyeroll forever and just stopped talking. BUT THEN she actually talked to me like a human being. She was like, "I actually didn't go to my prom" and when I asked her why she said that she didn't have a date, and was very self-conscious about it. I almost passed out at her admitting that she's ever been anything less than perfect.

(gonna continue this in reblog)

[gar-trek]

As per tradition, although I’m pretty sure no one reads these, here are my thoughts on TNG season 4!!!!!! just like last time, it literally took me like 10 days to finish, and I’m still like freaked out that I watch it this fast. My pace is probably going to slow down because of school. 

General thoughts: 

The show is really keeping its quality up!! I think last time I was really shocked going from season 2 to 3, it was like watching two different shows almost. I think this season was almost as good as season three, like the good episodes hit just as good, but this season had a couple more duds then the last. I felt like they had some ideas that were interesting, they just weren’t enough to fill out the whole 45 minute run time. But really, it was a super solid season and I’m not disappointed at all. Also, I am enjoying this whole Klingon empire civil war overarching plot, the polotics are just a little too complicated for me. I feel like I didn’t catch what was going on from the beginning and now im just a bit confused. but that’s my fault for being dumb lol. 

Least favorite episodes: 

Suddenly Human: I feel like when they focus too much on non-recurring characters, it’s in detriment to the show. This one was so focused on that teenage boy protagonist but I just couldn’t get myself to care much for his story. Also, the moral struggle was between taking the boy to his place of birth verses letting him stay in his culture and its just like???? it was so obvious to me that they should have let him stay with his adopted father despite the fact that he was human. It just seemed stupid that the federation would even be envolved in an incident like that.  

Remember me: interesting concept and points for being a Crusher centric episode, but it dragged on wayyyyyy too long. If it was half the run time I would have enjoyed it much more, but they didn’t have much to say other then “wouldn’t that be fucked up”. also the traveler showed up, ugh 

Half a Life: Oh my god, I guess I can just like, officially say I don’t like Lwaxana Troi episodes. WHICH IS SO SAD! because I like her character. they just literally cannot give her anything interesting to do. This was probably my least favorite episode of the season, it was just sooooo boring. Why do they keep making Lwaxana episodes boring??? she is such a fun character and then they give her literally nothing to do and its hard to watch. Huge stinker. 

Best episodes: 

Brothers: God, this was probably my favorite episode of the season (well, tied with the host) it was just SO GOOD!!!! I love Lore so much and any time we get to see him in action its just so good. I still think about this one all the time even though it’s been a bit since I watched it. Any data backstory we can get is just so *chefs kiss

Future imperfect: I honestly didn’t even think this one was that great, it just left a big impression on me. Something about seeing the future of the enterprise (even though it was all fake) was like, so nice??? like I realize it wasn’t canon AND it’s not even real life, but there was something comforting about the fact that 16 years in the future the crew was still all together, still doing what they loved. Like am i so dumb for that? like i know that’s not what I was supposed to get from that episode. well its how I feel. as much as things change they stay the same. 

Datas day: Okay yeah I don’t need to say why this one rocks we all know it, I’m super basic for even including it 

Night Terrors: I just liked the spooky vibe, this was so fun to watch home alone at night lolll 

Nth Degree: I like Barclay, okay? I’m one of those bitches I can’t help it. I have a soft spot for super awkward pathetic guys, alright? This episode was literally so insane. I’m laughing just thinking about it. the part where they reveal Barclay has hooked himself up to the computer and he’s in that insane gamer chair with the concert lighting, ugh, I literally died it was so good. Just like, peak everything. okay see i love super awkward pathetic guys, but when super awkward pathetic guys become unhinged - **chefs kiss 

Qpid: the outfits. My favorite moment in the whole thing was when Geordi was just like strumming on his little loot not even playing anything, just like having a little fun. 

the host: SO GOOOODD!!! i already put my thoughts about this one but i LOVE batshit episodes and this one was INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im still thinking about it, I’m still laughing. I’m laughing as i type this. ugh so good. 

okay that was soooo incoherent but no one reads these anyway. they are for me. good night  

[tigerdrop]

Cringe is dead, talk to me about the funny half-life men and their relationship

okay here is my essay. it is titled These Guys Actually Like Each Other, and Gordon Freeman Is Just Kind Of A Dick*

(disclaimer: these are just my 2 cents. dont take me too seriously! im just some guy online who has watched this shit too many times.)

first things first. these guys actually like each other. this is a key aspect of their relationship. benrey, obviously and textually, digs gordon freeman - you dont flirt that heavily with guys you arent into, and so much of what he says and does is geared around making gordon crack up. thats pretty gay.

but the counterpart to this is that gordon freemans pretty fucking gay for benrey, too. you may say, “oh, but word of god says its not requited!” and to you i will say: bull shit. gordon is uniquely obsessed with benrey compared to all the other characters. if gordon didnt like the fucking guy, he wouldnt giggle with him and share in-jokes with him and bring him up every 5 seconds when benreys not around. thats concern, bro. thats worry. thats real shit

but i cant blame people for thinking that gordon freeman genuinely doesnt like benrey. benreys partially responsible for some of the worst things that have happened to him, the Arm Thing among them. and gordons very insistent afterward that he doesnt like benrey. he even goes so far as to try to kill benrey a couple times. to this, i must argue that gordon freeman is just kind of a dick.

lets talk facts here. canon. Lore. from the moment we hop into gordons shoes, we can see that he is a jerk to every npc on his way into black mesa. this is his default: a dude who just runs his mouth and says rude shit. he calls tommy a freak within 5 minutes of meeting him. he infantilizes the guy and barely considers him a real scientist. he doubts that bubby is a real name for like no fuckin reason. in “real life”, this is because its funny, and wayne is trying to make a funny half-life stream. in a textual sense, this is because gordon “hlvrai” freeman is a dick. this is the way he acts, consistently, throughout the series.

(brief aside: this is why the whole “gordon is a nice guy and a great dad” characterization baffles me. the way he actually acts in canon is, in short, bitchy and lacking in self-awareness. and i love that for him, i really do. it makes the moments where he just tries to be a nice guy stand out. but thats the thing: his intermittent moments of decency and kindness are not the whole of his personality! this dude kind of sucks most of the time!)

the way that gordons general asshole attitude extends to benrey is complicated. in fairness, benrey makes it his job to annoy the shit out of gordon as much as possible, and that warrants a negative attitude, but gordons pretty paranoid and ends up blaming benrey for nearly everything that happens to him, regardless of if its warranted. this is a pattern he exhibits both before and after the Arm Thing. its a little bit of a dick move! especially considering that, prior to the whole “betrayal” subplot (which was not exactly planned very far in advance), benrey is no more malicious or annoying than anybody else gordons having to travel with.

(okay, this is kind of a subjective evaluation, but still. my point stands that benrey is not any more of a hindrance to his progress than anybody else in the science crew, and neither is he particularly more violent or murderous. hell, gordon freeman has probably killed more guys than benrey. benrey just tends to get.......special treatment.)

all that said, i am still convinced that gordon really fucking likes benrey. please consider with me the following: it would be remarkably easy for gordon to just ignore him and do what he has to do, but he doesnt. he could stop engaging. he could stop thinking about benrey. he could stop bringing benrey up to the rest of the crew every time benrey leaves to do his own thing for awhile. but he doesnt. and, again, yeah, the extra-textual reason for this is “two guys are doing an improv comedy thing and bouncing off of scorpy is kind of the point”, but within the text it reads to me as gordon not being about to get the dude off his mind.

and this is in addition to all the times we see gordon being genuinely nice and receptive toward benrey! its in the little things: laughing the hardest and longest at benreys jokes. only ever reciprocating that stupid underwater “BBBBB” thing with benrey. trying to catch benrey when he falls, despite his insistence moments earlier that benrey should hop in the wack ass crystal generator and get hypermurdered. fondly remarking that benreys sweet voice sounds beautiful. his sort of flustered responses to most of benreys overt flirting. none of this is the way normal people react to a guy they hate. this is all fuckin gay to me, man.

its this combination of the outward insistence that gordon hates benrey with his inner eagerness to be around him and think about him and engage with him that gives off strong “repression” vibes, to me. for whatever reason - pride, embarrassment, resentment - gordon maintains a front of hating the guy and wanting to kill him for a lot of the series, but it doesnt gel with the way he fucking giggles and plays along half the time that benrey starts fucking with him. its a game, and that game is one of the only ways gordon knows to manifest affection for him.

(remember “oh my god, hes got a knife!”? that was the gayest shit i ever seen in my life. tittering like a schoolgirl while benrey chases him around like “im gonna get you haha”. insanity.)

the cool thing about repression is that you can have it manifest in a lot of ways! and this is where things like “headcanons” and “my own personal affection for repressed bisexual men” come in. a lot of how i characterize their relationship is an extrapolation of a lot of things like gordons canonical insecurity issues/anxiety, gordons whole anti-bootboy thing screaming “internet wokeboy who means well but probably has a lot of repressed baggage” to me, etc.

how do you get massive amounts of sexual repression out of what you see in canon, you might ask? well. if wayne would stop having gordon talking about being jerked off by the suit, or talking about chugging a 40-gal drum of potion and having to hold his piss, or worrying about being eaten by benrey the moment he sees benrey at setscale 10, maybe i would have a higher opinion of gordon “hlvrai” freeman and whatever latent psychosexual issues hes got going on. but here we are

i havent even touched yet upon how benrey feels about gordon. this one is helpfully made a little more plain by the fact that benrey very much wants to suck his dick in canon. (i dont even have to go into details. we all know.) but IMO the best part about this ship isnt just that they dig each other, but how. benrey gets overtly flirtatious in the second half of the series, but IMO his preferred method of flirting is just fucking with gordon: chasing him with knives, shoving him around in a bathroom, trying to get scans of his feet. but all in like a slapstick, giggly, fun-and-games sense, you know? at least when it works.

a lot of the time, though, it doesnt work out that way. he clearly just likes doing it whether or not gordon responds positively. which is, you know, Weird. not very nice. but also in line with the way everybody else treats gordon freeman. gordons kind of the universes chew toy in any given universe, and the same holds true here. hes kind of helpless......subjected to 4 demons attempting to make his life as difficult as possible. in a way its cathartic.

sorry. i got sidetracked. anyway, benrey very much likes to mess with him and unnerve him and demean him and i will be perfectly frank with you: that is hot. i have problems and illnesses and one of them is that i am a masochist who goes crazy for that kind of thing. calling gordon a “dirty lil boy” and telling him to “look at the mess [he] made” is some straight up kink scene shit.

i like to imagine that a lot of this behavior isnt caused just by the guy who played him wanting to be funny and antagonistic, but by benrey as a character not really understanding what constitutes “pushing a joke too far”. hes not human, and whatever he is doesnt have a very normative way of understanding the world around him, full of people who actually get hurt for real and die for real. benrey expresses what seems to be genuine surprise and distress after the Arm Thing, as if he didnt know that his actions would have serious consequences. and it doesnt seem to fully sink in afterward, either.

it reads a lot to me like hes used to video game rules and treating people around him like NPCs. if they get hurt, its no big deal, because its not real. he likes jamming random buttons on gordons interface and seeing what comes out. its probably a lot of fun for him, the same way that seeing a streamer or a youtuber suffer for our amusement is fun. its like, you know, in my opinion, gordons very cute when hes frazzled. hes also cute when hes laughing. pushing gordons buttons has a 50/50 chance of either of these things. and this is how he ultimately flirts with gordon: by pulling his pigtails.

but at the same time, benrey does legit care about gordon and knows some boundaries. benreys the one most often shooting at enemies to protect gordon, and he spent most of the last act trying to convince gordon to turn around and not fight him because they were friends (best friends, to be specific). he just lacks a lot of the emotional intelligence it would take to express the feeling of “he digs gordon and likes seeing his face get all red and sweaty regardless of the cause”. and gordon lacks the emotional intelligence it would take to express the fact that he doesnt know if he likes or hates benrey and hes scared as hell that its the former

because, lets be real. unironic benrey-liking is a sign of problems disorder. just look at all these words ive written about it.

can you imagine? this bizarrely powerful, non-human entity that can shrug off gunfire and grow to the size of a building has decided that youre his new plaything. benreys the bored guy booting up skyrim and fucking around in the console, and gordons the hapless favorite follower that hes taken a liking to. its a really fun dynamic IMO

after all this, its safe to say my title is a little misleading. the asterisk stands for * and So Is Benrey, Actually. they are both kind of awful dudes who thrive off of teasing each other and they deserve each other. and i am crazy about it. thank u for coming to my TED talk

[chaos-writes]

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher: Ghost in the Flesh

Warning: 14+ Swearing. Gore. Word count: 1,688

No party was as good as the ones hosted by Stu Macher. An 18 year old Rich Bitch senior, whose parents decided they could trust him with the house while they went on vacation somewhere in the Bahamas. He was also a piece of eye candy, along with his buddy, the ‘Definition-of-Teen-Angst’ Billy Loomis. He's that one ride or die friend of the school. You see, these guys are popular. While they may not be the jock d-bags of the highschool superiority complex, they are known around here for being party animals. Stu is also the goofiest in the school, the class comedian, if you will.

Me? I’m just… there. Look, Stu is throwing a massive party tonight. I’m not gonna flirt or anything. I just wanna get some beer and bounce. No biggie. In’n’out.

Okay, I'm a little freaked out. I don't wanna bump into a dude named Randy Meeks, a guy who's built like a weasel and acts like one too. He's a horror movie fanatic who acts like school is an actual movie, well, a horror movie. I really have nothing against him, he's a good dude, but still. I'd rather not talk to him.

The whole school day I spent pondering about the party. I found myself daydreaming about Bill- err… watching the movie at the party. Casey and I couldn't stop talking about it. We’re best friends, so we do a lot together.

I rented out the Robin movie and skedaddle. Randy was screaming and I wanted none of that. I go home and put the movie on the counter. "Mom? Hey, I brought a movie home! I know you'll love it!"

School is over for the weekend and I head to the video store on my walk home. Randy is stocking shelves as usual. I look at the comedy section; ooh, my family will love this one! It's a Robin Williams movie! And there he is, Party Man himself. Stu Macher, picking on weasel dude. I see Billy, talking to a group of girls who swoon at his slightest movement (ewww).

It was getting closer to 8. I watched that movie with my parents and ate. I did my homework, cleaned my room, and showered. I set out for the 10-minute walk to Stu's house. Instead, I got a phone call. "Hey, it's Billy. Do you need a ride here?" Right, I gave him my number to help study.

"Well, the house is just a 10 minute walk away-"

"Why don't you just let me pick you up? Shorten that time."

"Uhm, ok then. You need my address?"

"N-... yea, I do."

A few minutes later, I see the car of one of the most popular guys at school pull up in front of my house. Gee, that was fast. "Hey, mom? I'm gonna hang out with my buddies tonight. I'll call you before I leave for home."

I'm in his car. I'm in his car. I'm in his car. Oh my god. Ok, he's cute. But I can't freak out like this. "You- ah, ok there?" He says. "O- oh, yea, I'm sorry, just zoned out." I stammer. His car smells like cologne and it's very clean. And he's right next to me. Billy Loomis. Sitting in his car. Next to a loser.

“Hey, you know Stu and I are close, right?” Billy said. “Of course I do! You guys are double trouble!” I giggled. He laughs. God, that laugh. It was so melodic, so… perfect. “Well, we’ve been thinking about getting closer with you. Y’know, we’re not very close. We wish that was different. You’re very kind, and you have such a great personality.” He admitted. I stare blankly for a second. Hey, did he take a back road? “I like that idea,” I said. He looked at me with those gorgeous brown eyes. “Yeah?” 

I nodded and smiled. I can’t believe this! He smiles and giggles lightly to himself. A solid minute went by in silence before we pulled into his driveway. We got there early so we waited in the car a bit. “Hey, that ride took as long as the walk would've taken,” “well, i wanted to have enough time to talk to you,” He says. 

“That’s okay, I like long car rides anyways.” I said.

I walked with Billy into Stu's front door. Wow, this place is, just, beautiful. Stu walks right past me, straight to Billy. They start quietly talking together, Billy tosses a glance at me and Stu looks and smiles at me, I had no choice but to smile back. I was a guest in his house after all; you're supposed to be polite to your hosts.

It made me nervous. Really nervous. I wasn't thinking at all. I walked into the kitchen to cool down, that was really weird. Stu walked over to me after the two were done talking. He was actually really nice to me and we had a really fun conversation about aliens and whether or not they’re real. He did impressions of what he thought they would look like. He's such a goofball.

He handed me a beer and sat me down on the couch, right next to him. Wow, he is tall sitting next to me. I took a swig and decided you know what? I can stay for more than a beer. It's all good. I’m not big into horror movies and Stu knew this, so he explained all the lore behind Halloween while we were watching it. 

I think one of the boys said something to Randy, because he hasn't even looked at me, not once, the whole night. Not even during his little ramble about the "rules" about being in a horror movie, or whatever.

During the movie, Stu noticed that I was cold. He told me I could go upstairs to grab his sweater. So, I head upstairs very cautiously, looking for the sweater. He said his room, right? 

I then feel swift footsteps behind me and an arm wrap around my throat. Shit! I'm in a blood choke! I couldn't get out. Everything just faded. 

I woke up in Stu's bed, I must've been out for hours. I stumble and try to fight myself awake. I feel so weak. I stumble down the stairs and begin shaking at the sight.

The whole house was a bloodbath. Randy was tied up and soaked in blood, dead. Sydney was dead. 

Casey, oh God, Casey, mutilated beyond recognition and hanging from a tree outside the house. I can’t breathe. I can’t imagine how scared she was. Did she call for help? Could I have saved her?

The only people left were me, Billy, and Stu. They were soaked in blood and covered in stab wounds.

The police were on their way. I tried my best to help Stu, he was practically mutilated. I put pressure on his wounds and moved on to Billy. He wasn't as bad but he was losing a lot of blood.

I don't know why the killer didn't finish me off after I was unconscious.

The wait at the hospital was long. There were police officers and social workers and doctors talking to me, asking weird questions, and it was all happening so fast and I was so scared. I couldn't think, my head felt like it was splitting open. Casey, what did they do to you? Oh God, I’m so sorry.

The boys were in emergency surgery. A nurse came into the waiting room. "Hey, the boys are out of surgery. You can go and visit them, although it would be a while before they wake up."

I get into the hospital room and there they are. A shared hospital room with 2 empty beds opposite of 2 occupied beds. They're both asleep, hooked up to oxygen, connected to wires and tubes of all sorts. It was almost as scary as seeing them drenched in blood back at that party. Well, massacre.

I drag a chair in between the beds, pull the dividing curtain back farther, and wait. I sit and think about the party, how Stu was so tall sitting next to me on his couch, how Billy just... offered me a ride. The ride itself. It seems a little insane but do they... have feelings for me?

After I moved to the woodsboro district, both boys broke up with their girlfriends within a week from each other. It kinda sucks because I liked Sidney and Tatum, and now they want nothing to do with me-

"Hmmm...?" Stu slowly opened his eyes and lifted his head. "I had no idea you'd be here." He said in a tired, raspy voice.

"Hi, Stu. I just wanted to check up on you boys. You guys were really badly hurt. I feel awful, I could've done more to help."

"Honey, it's okay. Besides, imagine how badass these scars are gonna look when they heal over!"

"You big goof!" I giggled. Billy stirred in his bed. He lifted his head, rubbed his eyes, and groaned. "Hey, how did it go ove-" he stopped mid sentence. Both he and Stu shared looks of horror between me and themselves.

Why are they acting so strange?

Oh no.

Oh God.

I felt my heart stop in my chest. They didn’t. They couldn’t have. Casey… 

“You… you were the killers?” I said in a soft, shaky voice. Billy smoothed his voice, “Now what makes you think we were the killers?”

“The… the phone call, the conversation at the front door, the… oh God, Casey!” I broke into sobs. I couldn't help it. They killed my best friend! 

“Hey, it’s not like that. We never meant to hurt you…” Stu pleaded. 

Billy’s expression turned from amusement to horror as he watched tears slip down my cheeks. Both were silent as they leaned in from their beds and wrapped their arms around me. “How can we make it up to you, beautiful?” Billy asked.

Silence fell over what seemed like the whole world.

“Stay with me. That’s the least you can do.”

 “Of course, sweetness.” Billy said.

[writingtoforgetreality]

I thought he could help us (Dean Winchester x Reader)

[Supernatural-Masterlist]

Summary: You were sure that you guys will never be able to beat Chuck, or better said, God. After literally trying everything, an idea popped into your head. Of course you would not tell anyone, knowing the guys, especially Dean, would freak out. So you did what you thought was right: sneaking out one night to go & talk to Chuck.

Words: 2,872

Warnings: angst, language, Chuck being Chuck, protective Dean, mentions of cheating, fluffy ending bc I can´t write a heartbreaking story

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

You should all be happy right now. Everything you had ever wanted was right in front of you. Dean, the best boyfriend you could have ever imagined. Sam, who was like a big brother to you. Cas, the awkward friend you had never wanted but also somehow craved. Last but not least, Jack, who you would die for in a heartbeat. Being hunters had never been easy. The supernatural beings that lived in the dark corners always haunting you but you learned to fight them. They were scared of your badass team, not the other way round. So why, why the hell did Chuck have to make life so much harder for you? A few years ago, you all got together to fight Amara only to find out now that he had everything planned out for you guys. How fucked up could one being be? And how fucked up was it that this being was the God out of everyone?

“This is useless!” you breathed out.

The entire team was seated in the library, desperate to find something, anything slightly helpful. This was how your days looked like if you did not have a case. Just sitting around the big ass table, reading lore & hoping you would find a clue how to defeat God. Defeat God...was that even possible? Right now, you were not so sure but you could not stop now. Not after everything you had been through. This should be easy, right?

“(Y/N)…“ Sam sighed. “We´ve been through this, haven´t we?“ he tried reasoning.

“Well, apparently this entire thing doesn´t help one bit. I don´t understand how you guys can just sit there & do the same shit over & over again. We´re fucked, okay? The sooner we realize this, the better.“ you started growing frustrated.

“Sweetheart…” Dean started speaking up.

“No, Dean! I´m tired. Clearly, reading books for days is not the answer. We need to start thinking outta the box, y´know?” you were hinting your idea but not daring to speak it out loud. They would kill you, for sure. Or ask if you were insane. How could you not in this situation.

“Out of the box...Means what exactly?” Dean looked at you in confusion, obviously not knowing what you were truly saying.

“Look, (Y/N), we have three hunters, a nephilim who is stronger than everything I´ve ever seen & an angel.” this was Cas´ voice that made you look up to him.

“We can do this together, (Y/N), I´m sure!” the confidence in Jack´s voice made you smile slightly. He sure was a little naive but he just wanted to keep the team positive which was cute, really.

“You know what, guys? I need a little break. You do, too. Let´s just stop for today, clear our heads & start again tomorrow. Now, how does that sound?” you faked a smile, unaware to the others. You had become quite trained in faking emotions. That came with being a hunter, you guessed.

The others nodded at you, closed their books & made their way out of the library.

It was 10 pm when you checked the time. As far as you could tell, the entire bunker was asleep, which was good considering the thing you were about to do. Looking over your shoulder, you saw Dean sleeping soundly. Ever since the two of you had started sleeping in one bed, the nightmares were not as frequent anymore. You silently made your way out of your shared room, only taking your phone with you. A few hours prior, you had already prepared an outfit & placed it in the garage. This way, you would not wake anybody. Still, while walking down the halls, you tried to be as quiet as possible, making sure nobody was up & wandering in the bunker. Arriving at the garage, you let out a breath you did not know you were holding. You started thinking now. Was this really the right decision? Everyone else would have said that you were about to commit suicide. On the other hand, you did not really have a choice. If you did not do this, you would die anyway. There was nothing left to lose. Stripping out of your oversized t-shirt you once stole from Dean, you imagined to conversation you were about to have. Then you stopped for a second. What if he decided not to show up at all? He was not able to track you guys, thanks to Cas who burned some sort of marks into your ribs. Throwing on your outfit, you knew you had to give it a try. Just telling him your coordinates, in a prayer, of course. He had to show up. Before the overthinking got the best of you, you tucked your phone in one of your pockets & made your way outside in the chilly air. Due to the adrenaline you felt, you could barely feel the coldness hitting your skin.

After a while of walking, a park bench came into your view. Right at a crossroad. You had never been there but that was what you wanted to achieve. Being as far away from your family as possible. There was not a single car which somehow comforted & scared you at the same time. Seating yourself onto one side of the bench, you fiddled with your hands in your lap. A few deep breaths steadied you & after a couple of minutes, you were sure that you were ready. It was now or never.

“Um...hi, God...Chuck, I mean. Here´s (Y/N), you know, the one who´s with the Winchesters & stuff. I know you can hear me & you´re probably asking yourself why the hell I decided to pray to you. Funny enough, I´m sorta lost. We are, actually. I know you could kill me if I give you my location now but honestly, I don´t really care right now. Look, I just wanna talk, okay? I´m alone here, it´s just me & I hope you are open to talk to me here, Collar Road 16. I´ll be here until the sun starts to rise. If you don´t show up, okay, that´s fine but I would really appreciate it if you decide to come. I´ll be here.” your voice was low, scared that someone would hear you even though you were completely alone. Checking your phone, you had no new notifications. Perfect, you managed to sneak out. It was Chuck´s turn now. The sunrise was hours away so you hoped he would come & talk to you (& not kill you, that would be nice).

Seconds turned into minutes & minutes into hours. You started losing hope. How dumb were you to think God wanted to talk to you when you were literally trying to find a way to kill him?

“Kinda dangerous for you to be here alone, without your boyfriend to protect you, don´t you think?” Chuck´s voice startled you & you looked at him in surprise. Not wanting him to sense your nervousness, you cleared your throat & straightened your posture.

“I can handle myself, thanks for your concern.” smirking at him, his eyes bored into you which sent a shiver down your spine. You felt so uncomfortable under his presence that you almost forgot the reason you two were here.

“Attitude, I see.” he chuckled.

“You were busy, huh? Letting me wait for so long.”

“Actually, no. Just wanted to test your patience.” Chuck had so much fun & your anger started to rise. You knew though, that one wrong word could have you killed so you took a deep breath.

“I wanna talk to you.” you stated the obvious.

“I figured that much. So? Go ahead.” Chuck turned so his body was facing you, signaling you that he was paying attention to what you wanted to get off your chest.

“I´m pretty sure you know about our little...plan to, well, you know...stop you?” the last part came more out as a question, not wanting to cross any lines. He was God after all. He raised his eyebrows, motioning for you to continue.

“I´m not gonna lie, we didn´t find shit, okay? Like, we´re stuck. And I hate the fact that we´re at a point where almost everyone thinks the only solution is to fight each other. Yeah, I don´t agree with everything you did but that doesn´t mean that I´d like to kill you. You´re God, after all, you created this beautiful place which does have flaws, I´m not gonna deny that.” Chuck let out a laugh at that & you kept going.

“I´m tired of keeping this fight up. Hunting the supernatural, I´m fine with, I can deal with that but fighting against you? That´s something I really don´t wanna do.” you rambled. Even tears started forming, you did not want to cry in front of him but you could not hold back any longer.

“Who knows you´re here, talking to me?” he completely ignored everything you just said & earned a confused look from you.

“Really? That´s what matters? Nobody, okay? I didn´t tell anyone because I knew they would try to stop me somehow. Could you, like, give me any reaction to what I told you?” the frustration was audible & the tears now were forming because of his ignorance.

“(Y/N).” he started. “I hope you know that, out of all of them, I like you the most. That´s why I came here, that´s why I let you talk. Would Sam or Dean sit here, I´d kill them, well, obviously making it look like an accident, I´m not dumb. You´re special, (Y/N), you should be grateful you´re still alive. I´ll give you a choice. Either, you start working with me & you´ll see why I act that way or...you´re going back to your boys & we´re officially at war. Just know, if you walk away now, I won´t be as kind. Your decision, darling.” he shot you a smile but stopped when he saw the rage inside your eyes. He thought you would join him, he really did. You knew your answer, though.

“Fuck. You. You. Asshole.” your voice sounded monotone. You could not look at him anymore, all you did was getting up & running away as fast as possible, scared that he might follow you. Obviously, he did not. You made your choice & even though he was mad at you, he knew preparing for the fight was a better idea.

While you were running, the tears streamed down your face. Why were you so upset with Chuck´s answer? It was not like you did not know him & his intentions. You just truly thought you could change him. The sun had already started rising & you just hoped you were not too late. You were not in the mood to come up with a lie when someone of the guys asked you where you were. Forgetting you should enter through the garage because it was way more quiet, you opened the main door, flinching when it squeaked. But before you could even process that, you could hear a rather mad voice from downstairs.

“Look who decided to show up.” Dean sounded so cold, you could barely recognize his voice. Looking down, you saw Sam, Dean, Cas & Jack all seated around the big table in the main room. Shit, you were gone too long. Of course, your day could get worse, amazing.

“Guys, I can explain, I swear.” honestly, you just wanted to win time to think of a lie to tell them.

“Cut the crap, (Y/N)!” Dean almost screamed. “Get down. Now.” his voice was demanding. To be honest, you were never scared of Dean but right now, you could feel yourself shaking.

“Dean, calm down, okay? Let´s talk about it like matures.” Sam always made sure you felt comfortable & right now, he could tell you were frightened.

“Calm down?! Sure, everyone would be completely calm if their girlfriend sneaks out at night & screws another man.”

“Dean? Are you saying I´m cheating on you? Are you serious? After everything you still don´t trust me?” you were full on sobbing, trying to keep yourself together but failing miserably.

“I wish I could say I trust you but it makes sense, really. You being so distant lately & now, sneaking out in the middle of the night, hoping none of us realizes. You´ve got to be a bit smarter, though.” Dean was hurting but he did not dare to show it, wanting you to feel bad.

“(Y/N)? You do owe us an explanation.” Cas´ voice was calm & made you feel a bit more at ease.

“Maybe she should just go back to whoever she was fucking, that´s better for all of us.” Dean said these hurtful words without even looking at you. He hated seeing you break down like that. You were taken aback. Dean, your Dean, wanted you to leave. This was all a big misunderstanding. As much as you hated it, you knew you had to clear things up. If you were about to leave, then at least with making sure Dean knew you were not cheating on him.

“Please...let me explain, please.” pleading, you looked over to Jack but he would not meet your gaze. Your eyes wandered off to Sam´s & he was the most understanding in this situation which you were thankful for.

“Sit down, yeah?” Sam pulled a chair out for you to sit. The others took the chairs opposite of you so you were facing them all. Well, not all, Dean´s eyes were glued to the floor & you could not even be mad at him. You were aware of his trust issues, of course.

“I´ve been distant because we were continuing a work that brought us nowhere. I tried figuring out what we could do to...to keep this upcoming fight away. I knew the only way was to talk to…um, you know, to talk to God.” that made Dean snap his eyes towards you. No, you did not. You looked into his eyes, seeing the disappointment & that hurt you like crazy.

“Um, anyway, I waited until you guys were asleep to go out & talk to him. Obviously far, far away from the bunker, I didn´t wanna bring you guys in danger.” while you said that you made sure to look rigt at Dean so he knew you were mainly talking about him.

“He showed up after I prayed to him. We talked, well, more like I tried to convince him to stop this stupid fight. All he said was that I could join him & work with him or I go back to you guys & the next time he sees us...he´ll kill me, us. Then I started running back home, he didn´t follow me if you´re concerned about that.” you hated how your voice shook trough your words. You were met with a silence but not a bad silence, the faces of Sam, Cas & Jack were full of relief. Mainly because you were alright but also because they knew you just wanted to help. Dean´s expression, on the other hand, you could not quite read.

“We´ll leave you two alone for now.” & with that Sam got up & rubbed your back. He motioned for Cas & Jack to follow him. Now, you were left with Dean only. Not knowing what to do, you decided to speak up.

“I´m sorry, De-.” but you were cut off by his voice, now much softer as earlier.

“He could´ve killed you, sweetheart. He could´ve killed you & I wouldn´t even have had a chance to say goodbye. The thought of losing you scares the shit out of me, okay?” Dean´s eyes were glistening & you felt bad that you were the reason why he felt that way.

“I´m so so sorry. I shouldn´t have done this, I know. I just...I didn´t know another way. I thought we had a chance if I go talk to him. I was wrong & I´m sorry I scared you. And I´m even more sorry that you thought I´d be cheating on you. I love you, Dean. Only you. Forever, I promise.” a few tears rolled down your cheeks & Dean got up, walked over to you & took you in for a long hug. You cried into his shirt, just glad he was with you.

“I know why you did it, I do. You always want to make it easier for us & I appreciate it. Just, next time you have such an idea, promise me you tell us, me at least. Then we can work something out, together, something way safer, okay? Just promise me.” he whispered into your ear, his words carefully chosen, wanting to make sure you knew how much he felt for you.

“I promise, Dean.” you looked up at him only to find his eyes already focused on you.

“I love you, (Y/N).” & with that, he pulled you in for a kiss that showed you how much he cared for you. Maybe you could not convince God but you had the best people & you were sure you would figure something out sooner or later.

Published (06/24/2020) by Cathy

[mychemicalaromanticism]

things ive already established r on this post

besties this got so fucking long but heres a giant ramble about cherri

okay so. there are huge differences betwn cherri as a hyperviolent drac hunter and cherri as a friend of the four and cherri as the girls mentor. with the first one he was 17 and desperate to distance himself from his upbringing so he went all in on Being A Killjoy. he was always one of the first ppl to rush into a fight and he fought hard. he blew up his fuckin hand with that attitude. and all the while he was just racking up more unaddressed trauma and eventually he ran away from that, too. giving himself radiation poisoning was more appealing than facing his problems.

so as a teenager/young adult hes kind of constantly in a panicked state. hes scared the people from his past are going to find him and drag him back with them. so he lashes out and he runs away over and over again.

i said in another post that he has some past life shit goin on which usually would give him a connection to the witch that manifests early in life, but with all the stuff hes gone through he has been Preoccupied. he can become oblivious to almost anything that doesnt apply to whatever hes focused on. not in a hyperfocus way its likeeeeee. when u live on survival mode during prolonged periods of stress. hes immune to magic bullshit bc hes too tired and scared.

anyways around his mid-20s he finally has a little more stability (as much as the average person living in the zones can have, that is) and he finally notices that Weird Stuff happens around him. basically: out of my list of Powers People Connected To The Witch Have he has the prophetic dreams/enhanced intuition as well as a form of sensing ghosts where he can see auras and kind of like, echoes of past events in ppls lives. that look like auras. itz complicated and not of utmost importance so im leaving it at that.

anyways thats what makes him start writing poetry. just 4 funsies he'll describe his weird experiences and embellish them to make em pretty. just as a casual hobby n all that.

he would forget fun ghoul in between the times they ran into each other but its pretty easy to be reminded of who fun ghoul is. the most insane 10 year old cherri has ever met. cherri isnt a brother figure to ghoul. hes just. his friend that happens to be more than twice his age. its whatever lmao

to cherri, ghoul is kinda like a stray animal he keeps seeing. which is hilarious. ghoul actually goes and finds him to introduce him to jet when they start running together, and cherri meets party and kobra (spark and birdie at the time) when he drives the four of them to a party. because he has a truck hell yeah. so now instead of one stray animal he has, like, a feral cat colony that he drives around occasionally. i have no real-life human relationship equivalent to them because irl if some guy that is not related to any of you and isnt even a childhood or family friend and theyre hanging out with you? they are usually not a safe person lmao. but this is my fantasy land and im too stubborn to change anyones birth years even though ghoul being born in 2004 makes everything really hard to make not creepy.

so yeah hes a casual somewhat friend of the fab four. hed probably get more and more concerned as they got famous. the beginnings of any sort of protective feelings, awww :) that sets him up for becoming the girls mentor.

OH FUCK. THE GIRL..... i think if i was in my late 20s and i heard that the gang of 13-17 year olds had adopted a 5 year old kid i would go bananas. what the fuck. it is a LONG while before cherri meets her. but he has the strongest affection for ghoul (if you could even call it that) and ghoul absolutely adores the girl and swings her around under her arms like a cat to show her off to cherri and its very endearing and the girl is sweet and funny so its easy to be around her. and (unfortunately) she is somewhat used to interacting with weird easily agitated people so she kinda gives him space. cherri isnt quite the uncle figure the fandom usually makes him (i luv uncle cherri sm but he simply cannot exist in the universe ive created, f), but hes a little similar.

and then the four had to go and pretend to die. lol.

when the girl was kidnapped, fucking everyone who knew her was ready to storm the city then and there. like regardless of how little you knew her, if you had ever met her you would fucking die for her. she is pure childish charisma and shes precious. i love the girl. so cherris immediately on board with whatever plan the four make to get her back. ive already talked abt how it fucked up the girl tho; there was no way to tell her that the four werent actually dead, she sees the building collapse and she shuts down. and cherri has to fight against his instinct to leave the radio station and never come back when he sees an eight year old girl sitting dissociated on the couch. that fucks everyone up.

i just realized i havent talked about literally anyone else at the radio station. i think cherri started lingering around the station bc it was safe and sheltered while also not being a popular spot. there are less kids there (people pass through but its not a hangout spot). he was kind of just hanging around to get away from the heat and noise and dr d took notice. because that man can see ur soul and no one knows if thats literal or not. so theyd chat a few times a day and show pony was the one 2 get him out of his shell a little and also was the first one he mentioned his poetry hobby to. im making this all up right now as im writing bc i dont know anything about LITERALLY any of the ppl associated w the radio like im not even going 2 try with chimp n newsie i do not have the willpower to tackle all that. justttt. cherri pony n D become bros and live 2gether there.

back 2 the regular timeline. the rescue mission happens in 2019. the girl lives at the station until 2023. during that time she is very much depressed and withdrawn and is only happy when the four come to visit. none of the Adults know how to help her so they just keep her safe and cared for and hope she'll open up to them.

she does not. she takes the weird cat thats been hanging around and she runs away.

cherri does not see her for three years. shes still worse for wear in the mental health department and he can see all kinds of visions of what shes been through since the last time he saw her and he fucking hates the ultra vs bc they remind him of his past. he does not want her going down that path but its obvious that she isnt crazy abt the ultraviolence thing either so thats a relief.

they have a kind of tense relationship throughout the comics. he feels like he failed her and that spirals into feeling like he failed the four for not being a good adult to them and fun ghoul for not helping enough when his commune was bombed and all kinds of shit and that irrational thinking mixed with plain old, yknow, caring about the girl, is what makes him take a bullet (laser. whatever) for her.

i was trying to figure out the timing of each of their ghost experiences, but i want both of them to talk to the witch and im just gonna make it like dreams where a whole buncha stuff happens but irl its been like seconds. so its like barely a second while the girl has her Witch Convo and cherri FINALLY gets a straight answer, yes there is weird shit going on with him having powers. he doesnt have any story-significant past lives because im lazy, hes just an old soul. like really fuckin old. the amount of latent life experience and stuff his soul/energy/whatever has picked up along the way makes him VERY noticeable to gods n stuff. he fuckin lights up all the alarms like what the FUCK is that over there. she wasnt rly able to get to him or even properly notice him while he was a kid and a young adult so shes happy to finally see him again. he has a STRONG sense of familiarity with her. they know each other on a wild ass level that he cant really comprehend.

welp thats some more lore I'll have 2 think abt. anywayz

post canon is when he and val get to have the most awkward spiderman meme moment of realizing that they have the same trauma SOOOOO thatz fun lol /s sorry kings i thought it would be fun to give u something fucked up to bond over <3

not much changes in his personality. he has a better understanding of Weird Magic and delights in freaking out the ultra vs but for the most part he returns to his life at the radio station. i love him

THIS GOT SO CRAZY LONG I DID NOT MEAN 2 GO THROUGH EVERY PART OF HIS LIFE LIKE SOME WEIRD CHARACTER STUDY but here we are. this is basically a first draft like almost all of this is subject to change but u gotta start somewhere. so heres my start i love this guy. its probably obvious but i have not read ANY twitterverse killjoys stuff </3 maybe i will someday idk

[lhaewiel]

So, as previously foreshadowed, let me ramble on about Teen Wolf. Not the 60′s show, this one:

The show originally ran between 2011 and 2017 and thanks to Netflix I had the joy and pleasure to rewatch it and rewreck my feelings over it

But please, go onto the Read More to see the rest.

So, Teen Wolf, where do I start? This show is one of those you really are doubtful about it “because it is an MTV production and MTV productions are not great at all”. Boy, you got that ALL wrong.

I admit it starts slowly, you have to go through the first 4 episodes of S1 before the story pace gets faster, but I think it is because at the very beginning the production was like “we are just making a reboot”, then the series got REALLY popular and it developed into something WAY MORE better.

Like, you can feel how much MTV loved producing it, how much the creators wanted to explore the characters, the sceneries, the freaking music is a masterpiece.

Hell, at a certain point Dylan O’Brien had an accident, the production was interrupted to give all actors time, then I think they got urged and the creators came up with an amazing plotline that included the heavy presence of Stiles Stilinski without him making physical appearances, so that the actor would be able to recover without worrying.

Yes, you may call me sentimental, but no recent series holds up to Teen Wolf in my opinion. Teen Wolf had that something that made it spectacular. I am going to explaing in more detail below. Also, Teen Wolf has been part of my best years and rewatching the series brings me back to that perod, if only for a moment.

On a side note, my partner got really invested in Teen Wolf, he even shed rare manly tears in several occasions, he consoled me on a couple of Major Character Deaths and laughed at the jokes with me. Now I can safely say that Teen Wolf is the bar he has set for any media he consumes.

But back to business, I am dividing the interesting stuff in some main points.

1. Teen Wolf and mythology

Well, yes, Teen Wolf is about Werewolves, so yes, there is the classical werewolf lore, the bite, the scratch, etc. But it’s not only werewolves we find. We see banshees and the myth of the Morrigan, we see kanimas, ancient Greece mythological creatures, we see kitsunes, druids. The research they put into the lore is HUGE. We see proper hunters with ancient bestiaries conveniently kept in USB pens. I loved the story of the Maid of Gevaudan, the  inclusion of Hellhounds and their bond with banshees.

I loved the inclusion of the Ghost Riders, which are not properly a myth, but a creation inspired by “Riders on the Storm” by The Doors. They are not properly myth, but the inspiration is GREAT, plus they made them SUPER creepy.

In general, totally recommended o this.

2. Teen Wolf and illnesses

I mean, Stiles Stilinski has been written as ADHD and Dylan O’Brien does a GREAT job for real. Scott McCall has asthma and uses an inhaler on screen, many issues get tackled - depression, anxiety, paranoia and nothing is being ridiculed and this, in 2012, was revolution, considering all the stigma illnesses still get nowadays.

Note on mental illnesses: there’s a whole plot around an insane asylum called “Eichen house”, recommended, but if you have any triggers and want to watch anyway make sure you are somewhere safe with someone you trust.

3. Teen Wolf and emotions

Everyone in this show is allowed to feel, to cry, to scream, not just girls and women, but boys and men too. The actors and actresses do an amazing job, considering the amount of tears I have shed over this series.

4. Teen Wolf and music

Of course Teen Wolf is an MTV production, one that is loved, hence its soundtrack ABSOLUTELY ROCKS: not only the songs chosen are perfect, but they do set up the whole scene as well. Even the hip hop, techno and dance tracks are the real good stuff - I am saying that as a non-fan of these genres. A lot of those are being uploaded onto the Teen Wolf Music channel on Youtube.

Like, really, the OST is AMAZING.

5. Teen Wolf and LGBT+

I am not talking just about general shipping, but also of canon. Absoltely a very positive look, acceptance and happy endings in spite of everything happening - which was a bold take 10 yrs ago. There are canon POC LGBT+ characters, canon LGBT+ relationships, A+ would recommend, but keep in mind that 10 yrs ago there was A LOT LESS discourse than now.

6. Teen Wolf and love

Love is not just explored among teens, but also among adults, which is important as well. You see the first love, but also “trust me Scott, this is something no teenager will ever believe. You will fall in love again and again”, in spite of everything. We have familial love, brotherly love, sisterly love, adults trying to get their own life back together, teens who start to be ready for more adult love. All of this in the midst of all the supernatural madness going on.

7. Teen Wolf and sports

Like, every single American series or movie shows teens playng football, or rugby. Here it is Lacrosse, which is a nice change. Finally something that is not American football.

8. Teen Wolf and history

Just like mythology, the creators did their job on history as well. I know that Concentration Camps are a touchy subject for the USA and the fact that part of the plot includes a concentration camp for Japanese and Japanese-American people on USA soil means that the creators did their job on history, did not sweeten the pill and included all the atrocities that American soldiers did in the camps. Recommended to watch.

I have a lot more to say, but I will let my reblogs speak for themselves.

[wahbegan]

I’m Depressed Let’s Talk 25 Things You Probably Didn’t Miss and I’m Just an Asshole  About the It Chapter 2 Trailer Let’s Goooo

You know the drill by now and if you don’t you can look in the tags and laugh about how wrong I was anyway putting the rest under a cut

1. So this scene’s almost beat-for-beat straight from the book, with variations to make it more cinematic. The sign says Marsh when she rings the doorbell, and i’ll bet you anything like Its eyes changing from yellow to blue in the storm drain, they’ll keep the thing from the book where Mrs Kersh opens the door and when Bev looks again, it says Kersh instead

2. Kersh’s open chest wound/rotting flesh isn’t from the book, i assume it’s a reference to The Shining

3. The “it gets so hot you feel like you could just die” and “I had cookies in the oven” are both references to the witch from Hansel and Gretel, which is what Mrs Kersh really is. I mean she’s REALLY an interdimensional clown-spider from outer space but you get the idea. I don’t know if they’ll be as blatant as in the book, it looks like the house doesn’t turn to candy anyway which makes sense

4. The antique photo of the twin women may be another Shining reference

5. The picture on her wall of her and her “fadder” brings up some interesting possibilities, but my money’s on Andres Muschietti i believe stated at one point in an interview or AMA or tweet or something that in his universe, there was an ACTUAL Pennywise that It killed to take his form, and he was one of Its favorite victims and that’s what the old PENNYWISE travelling circus thing at the bottom of Its trophy heap is from, so it’s very possible this is a photo of the real dude and his actual daughter before his identity was usurped by The Sewer Clownspider From Outer Space

6. The bruises on Jessica Chastain’s arm seem to imply they’re keeping her abusive husband and her fistfight with him when she tries to leave for Derry intact

7. Oh yeah before I forget, Kersh’s “no one who here ever really dies” i know is a bit nonsensical but in the book, it explains that Derry was made “In Its image” and everyone who lives there is sort of influenced by It, almost part of It, and Its victims are forever “trapped in the Deadlights” so that’s probably what It meant is that even in death, in Derry there’s no escape from It. It will take your form, It will go after your loved ones, you will float in Its Deadlights, etc.

8. Oh yeah also her apartment has a bird motif and It appears as a bird several times over the book but more importantly to Bev, during the....ahem THAT scene, she sort of...dissociates? She starts daydreaming about power lines with hundreds of grackles all over them and she fends It off by saying the grackles know Its real name as an adult, so that’s probably i mean i doubt any of that will be referenced i think it’s just a fun little set design easter egg

9. The Losers looking in the window and seeing themselves as kids is probably at the end of the movie as Eddie isn’t there and it happens right at the end of the book, or something very similar i believe it’s actually Bev looks in a window and sees they still look like adults, but she sees adult Stan and Eddie’s reflections alongside their own which is very emotional and this looks to be a version of that

10. Yeah the town is...weirdly empty i’m not sure why i mean the town gets its shit wrecked at the end of the book since it was made in Its image, when It (allegedly) dies, the entire town is destroyed by a massive storm that doesn’t look to be the case here, but the town being completely devoid of life i’m assuming has a lot to do with Its influence

11. Yeah the Chinese Restaurant scene from both book and miniseries is intact, it remains to be seen whether they’ll get insane shit in their fortune cookies or not. If I had to guess, based on the way the first one went, something will probably be up with them but the ante will be upped and it won’t be as campy as the miniseries version

12. This scene of It taunting/luring Bill by pretending to be Georgie in the sewer is completely Muschietti’s own creation, It only appears as Georgie when they’re already underground in the book, looking monstrous and with his arm ripped off, so i have no idea where this is going. Oh, wait, hold on, when they all split up to okay so basically if you haven’t read the book they’ve all repressed most of their childhoods and don’t really remember shit until Mike calls, right? So after the Chinese Restaurant reunion, they all split up and go different directions to trigger memories and re-familiarize themselves with Derry. It’s at THAT point Bev meets Mrs Kersh, Richie meets the Paul Bunyan statue (more on that in a minute), etc. Bill though doesn’t have a run-in with It, he just finds his old bike Silver in a pawn shop. So Muschietti probably inserted this scene to be his encounter with It on his walking tour of Derry. Also bit of opinion here but can i just say it’s an AWESOME parallel a simple but very effective stroke of genius calling back to by far the most infamous scene of the book and both adaptations, that was brilliant on Muschietti’s part.

13. They’re pushing Bill/Beverly in this trailer which is a subplot i really hoped they would drop because Bill is fuCKING MARRIED and she ends up with Ben at the end anyway, so it’s pretty pointless padding and just a reason for the dude to have an affair, but alas, they appear to have kept it intact.

14. Yeah, so this is where they defeated It the last time, the tower of floating kids and victim trophies appears to be gone, which is probably what prompts them to go deeper (also more on that in a second). I assume they end up going down the place Pennywise retreated to last time to find Its real lair.

15. Okay yeah Pennywise floating off of a Paul Bunyan statue with a pyramid of balloons while Richie freaks out is also right out of the book, it’s his “Walking Tour” scare, when he was a kid the statue came alive and attacked him, and as an adult, it actually turns into a giant Pennywise statue and fucks with him. I’m not sure if the statue is actually going to come to life because that is a bit hard to translate to film or if they’ll take the easy way out and just have Pennywise on the statue, it remains to be seen. Although, the inverted triangle of balloons and fucking off while laughing is what It did to Eddie in Chapter 1 after chasing him as a Leper, so that could be an indication that It’s just gotten finished pretending to be the statue and fucking with Richie.

15. Mike’s digging for something? I have no idea why other than Mike in the book is the narrator, local It expert, and sort of amateur detective trying to find out what crimes are It related, so he could be trying to dig up a body of a missing kid or something, i do not know

16. The balloons under the bridge are straight out of the murder of Adrian Mellon, which i believe Muschietti said is going to be the opening of this film. It’s definitely the inciting event for It to wake up. Basically these assholes harass this gay couple at a fair, which you see a couple flashes later in the trailer, follow them, see them on this bridge and beat the shit out of the one guy who talks back to them and then throw him over the bridge. This hatred and brutality wakes It up, and both Adrian’s boyfriend and the youngest of his attackers see It under the bridge biting his ribs “like he was trying to eat his heart.” The boyfriend, Don Hagarty, then sees It disappear with Mellon, who is just barely but STILL ALIVE at this point, into a giant cascade of balloons under the bridge

17. Yeah judging by how fucked up this house is, i think where Pennywise is attacking Mike is his early childhood house where his parents burned. Also not in the book, also i assume a scare put in during his walking tour of Derry because he’s the other character that doesn’t get one.

18. Now this is a really interesting shot and one i’ve heard several theories about. It could be the original, human Pennywise losing his shit, it could be It transforming, it doesn’t really resemble anything from the book so it’s hard to tell. One theory i’ve heard that i really do like though, it holds no more merit than any of the others, but i personally like it the best, is that this is actually Henry Bowers we’re seeing. Because he did survive, he got the murders for the original cycle pinned on him in the book and was sent to a brutally run mental hospital, and It breaks him out to have him try to kill The Losers. This could be him, mid-mental breakdown, applying make-up to look like Pennywise. Homeboy’s face is too jacked to really tell who it is, and the background’s not helping much so it is a mystery, but it does look like a human, it doesn’t have the proportions of Pennywise’s face, and i do like the idea that it’s Henry. But yeah also very likely it’s the original human Pennywise meeting some gruesome, horrible fate. There wasn’t a human Pennywise in the book, by the way. I mean It liked to talk about how Its name was Bob Gray and It was a human, but It’s just lying. This is 100% Muschietti’s contribution to the lore.

19. Now THIS place, where the flashlights are almost shining green with the black alien-looking stalagmites, i mean this has gotta be Its real, final lair. Not quite the same as the book, but giving off a very similar vibe, keeping the cosmic origin intact, which Muschietti did say he was going to do so. Oh yeah, i forgot to mention before when there was a shot of him in the sewer, but in the book and miniseries, Mike is actually badly wounded by Henry and has to sit out the final fight with It, but that doesn’t look to be the case here, he seems on the scene, which is really nice after his side-lining in the first movie.

20. Yeah the fair i was talking about that’s where Adrian Mellon and Don Hagarty are first harassed by the homophobes who later run into them again and murder Adrian

21. Eddie has a bandage on his face it looks like in the final fight scene, probably giving to him by Henry. So Henry like i said It winds him up and sets him loose on The Losers, but he only succeeds in badly wounding Mike, who badly wounds him back, and he’s actually killed in a fight with Eddie. I assume the bandage is a result of that fight

22. Oh yeah just small side-note, it looks like the fair where Mellon and Hagarty were first accosted by the homophobes is still up and running and Bill visits it for some reason, which isn’t in the book, i don’t know what that’s about, but it’s probably a new lil story beat for him. Exciting!

23. Bev drowning in a pool of blood isn’t in the book at all, so i have no idea what they’re doing. Jessica Chastain though did mention in an interview though that one scene used a frankly ludicrous amount of fake blood, possibly the most ever although Evil Dead is giving it stiff competition, and i don’t think it’s much of a gamble to say this is probably the scene in question. What makes that interesting is she also had an instagram post about washing all the fake blood off and out of her hair, whereas this is clearly Sophia Lillis drowning in the blood. So it seems like there’s gonna be some time fuckery where it cuts back and forth between both child and adult Bev experiencing some kind of trauma which is really cool, the book did that a lot, blurring the line between the kids and their adult selves, and i’d love to see that in this movie. Oh yeah also almost goes without saying but i assume it’s some sort of continuation/ante-upping of the blood-out-of-the-sink bit

24. It looks like they all participate in the Ritual of Chud, rather than just Bill and Richie like in the book, which....which actually i like and makes a lot of sense, because frankly you don’t notice when you’re reading it but afterwards you’re kinda like “wait were they all just kinda standing around doing nothing while Bill and Richie had all the fun?” So yeah, good decision. Also yeah clearly alien architecture

25. The girl under the bleachers i assume is just one of the murders that prompts Mike to call the others back to Derry, if not THE murder, it doesn’t have an exact parallel in the book that plays out like this. But what’s interesting is the little light It uses to lure her in closer, when he claps it out and then lets it shine again, it’s clearly spooky orange which is THE DEADLIGHTS color so it almost seems like It’s luring a kid over to It with one of The Deadlights in disguise which is....very interesting, not a thing that happened in the book, in the book it was much more “the second you see orange light your brain melts out of your ears, eyes and nose” so it’s pretty cool. Also Its apparently friendly smile and “Hello!” are a lot like when It took Georgie and i really appreciate that

SO THAT WAS 25 THINGS ONLY A FUCKING IDIOT WOULD MISS IN THE NEW IT TRAILER WHAT DID YOU THINK DID YOU CATCH ANYTHING I MISSED REMEMBER TO COMMENT LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE AND RING THE BELL FOR NOTIFICATIONS

[thetygre]

30 Day Monster Challenge 2 - Day #15: Favorite Great Old One/Monster God

1.      Nurgle the Great Unclean One (Warhammer)

I think you can tell a lot about a person by knowing which of the Chaos Gods is there favorite. I’m not saying there’s a right answer, but I’ve always been a Nurgle man myself. Nurgle is more than just the daemon god of disease and entropy; he’s the god of the value of life. Nurgle loves all of his children equally, down to the smallest virus. It can be hard for people to accept that, to realize that they have as much cosmic significance as a single-cell organism, but that’s just because they don’t realize how much love the Urfather has for that little cell. In Nurgle’s phlegmatic embrace, all of us are equal, regardless of race, gender, or cell count.

Nurgle asks only that you spread the love he has so willingly given, so that all may be his children. Death and disease are natural parts of life; we struggle to fight them so, but they always come back to us. Through Nurgle, we may exalt in the power of pus and the greatness gangrene. We grow stronger with each infection, and every tumor is a sign of endurance. We do not die when the Plague Bearer calls us; we merely transform for the vermin and bacteria that consumes us, to be reborn in the eternal cycle. Truly, Grandfather Nurgle moves in wondrous ways.

2.      Ithaqua the Wind Walker (August Derleth)

It should come as no surprise that the god of all wendigos is one of my favorite Great Old Ones. The Ithaqua Cycle is probably the best thing August Derleth wrote, for what ever that’s worth. Ithaqua is just such a chilling god; the image of some skull-faced giant thing turning around a mountain is the stuff of nightmares. Ithaqua is the primal urge inside life, the need to do anything to survive in an unrelenting environment. He walks in the cold places of the world, but also in that cold space between worlds, spreading his cannibalistic madness from world to world. Ithaqua himself seems hardly necessary, or the countless wendigos that follow him. It’s the chaos and horror he causes between people in a desperate situation, pitting one man against the other and breaking taboos until only the strongest is left. Ithaqua is the cold and brutality of the North personified.

3.      Lolth the Queen of the Demonweb Pits (Dungeons and Dragons)

Lilith is so pastiche these days. You know where the real rebellious queen of evil action is at? Spiders, man, and Lolth is the Spider Queen. Lolth has been in Dungeons and Dragons since the beginning. Wherever the dark elves go, Lolth goes too, like any deity, and her absence from a setting is noticeable. She’s one of D&D’s greatest villains, and countless adventurers have lost their lives in the Demonweb Pits. Her entire realm is an arachnid hell crawling with spiders as small a mite to as big as her spider-golem palace. Lolth is an entity of contrasts; her priesthood is a strict matriarchy, but Lolth herself is absolutely insane. It’s hard to tell if there’s anything left of the elf goddess she used to be. Beneath the layers of scheming, beauty, racially motivated hatred, and plans to conquer the known multiverse lies a beating heart of blind hunger, an overwhelming instinct to survive by strength alone.

4.      Saaitii the Hog (William Hope Hodgson)

Saaitii is actually what got this particular entry in the challenge. See, I wanted to do just ‘Top 10 Great Old Ones’, but then I was worried that not everybody would know what the Great Old Ones are and it’s kind of an arbitrary category that Lovecraft wanted people to change from story-to-story for fun, so then I just broadened the category to ‘monster gods’ and now here we are. Anyway, Saaitii is a monster that William Hope Hodgson’s occult detective Thomas Carnacki encountered in his monster-hunting stories. The locals tell Carnacki that Saaitii is the ghost of a boar wrongfully killed long ago, but Carnacki suspects that it’s an extradimensional something using the spirits of dead hogs to try and come through.

First off, I just want to know what William Hope Hodgson’s deal with pigs was. This is explicitly his second pig monster story, following the pig men from The House on the Borderlands. But the usage of that aesthetic is definitely refreshing a little unsettling. In an age of meme-tentacles, we need new and different cosmic horrors. Pigs can be disturbing; we think of them as cute at best and filthy at worst, but rarely evil or malevolent. Even the meanest boar has a kind of nobility to it. But the Hog brings up images of mindless, vicious cruelty, dark things in the forest and filth. The concept of a higher life form like some extradimensional whatsit coming into our world through ‘lower’ lifeforms strikes a little close to the karmic bullseye for some, turning the tables on humanity and reminding us that in the eyes of the cosmos, we’re just so much more food.

5.      Ogdru Jahad the Seven Who Are One (Hellboy)

You’d think there’d be more dragons on the list, but so far it’s just the one. Seven. 369. Whatever. The Ogdru Jahad are the Hellboy/BPRD universes Great Old Ones, and the source of… a sizable amount of trouble there. Not all of it, but most of it. At the dawn of time, the Sons of God formed the mud of creation into seven great dragons that were filled with the shadow of the moon, for whatever reason. Things would have been fine and dandy there, but one little angel named Satan, for reasons that are still unclear, took the fire of God and filled the dragon with it, giving the Ogdru Jahad life. The Ogdru Jahad birthed their 369 offspring, and the angels had to fight them off before the whole Creation thing could get rolling. From that day on, every human culture has been warned about the Ogdru Jahad, and they have been ingrained in the human consciousness as the Dragon, from Tiamat to the Beast of Revelations.

It’s a nice fusion of Judeo-Christian Biblical lore and cosmic horror. I honestly don’t think it would work if it wasn’t for the fact that Satan is notably absent from the Hellboy series and, as of BPRD: Hell on Earth, the Ogdru Jahad are winning, where even their smallest children can cause natural disasters. I love conflating the image of dragons with cosmic monsters. Cthulhu as Leviathan, flying polyps as oriental dragons, hunting horrors as wyverns; it’s a direct play to the archetype that both types of creatures fill. The Ogdru Jahad illustrate that perfectly, simultaneously something the most modern of cosmic horror and the most ancient of monsters.

6.      Flowey the Flower (Undertale)

Flowey’s final form gets in on design alone. There aren’t a lot of monster designs that actually freak me out, but Flowey is just horrible. Of course that’s also because it’s a genius bit of sprite animation, with the usage of textures contrasting so hard with the rest of Undertale. It looks like something that ate its way inside out from at least three Madoka witches. The claws, the eyes, the mouths; it all makes something perfectly awful and abhorrent. And, of course, the music. I actually think Flowey’s boss theme rates pretty low compared to other Undertale boss themes, but the title is just something else. How are you supposed to do better than “Your Best Nightmare”?

7.      Rom the Vacuous Spider (Bloodborne)

It’s Rom. C’mon. Look, I know she’s not actually a Great One; she’s Kin, like Mergo’s Wet Nurse. But look at her. When I think, “What’s my favorite eldritch monstrosity boss from Bloodborne?” I keep coming back to Rom. Just look at her dumb, stupid face. One of her attacks is just falling over. That’s the most relatable a video game has been for me since I was an undergrad. Rom doesn’t want to hurt anybody; she’s just a giant, stupid bug/fungus thing. You could just walk away, man. You could just leave poor Rom alone. She’s doing her best trying to grant people eyes and you’re over here hassling her. In front of her kids, man. Just leave her alone.

8.      Moder the Bastard of Loki (The Ritual)

Y’know, as a jotun, this guy could have been on the giant list, but I feel like its design and concept are too unique for that. This is a special monster, a kind of revelatory creature. Its design is just out of this world, blending human and stag and those creepy little eyes. But there’s so much more to it than just a great design. Its ability to create illusions essentially gives it access to shapeshifting, tying it to the actual mythology of Loki and Norse giants. The actual ritual to appease Moder, where it picks a person up and impales them on a tree, is reminiscent of the story in Norse mythology where Odin impales himself on the World Tree Yggdrasil to gain the knowledge of the runes. Before a person is killed, Moder shows them something precious to them, or a defining moment in their life; it is, in its own way, giving the person a revelation about what is vital in their own universe. Moder, like any good monster, delivers a message about the meaning of reality to the people it encounters.

9.      Set the Slithering God (Conan the Barbarian/Marvel Comics)

I like this comic book version of a god. The actual Egyptian deity Set is fairly complex, and actually examining his character and divine portfolio gives insight into how Egypt’s culture changes over time. Comic book Set, on the other hand, is the god of snake villains. He is the snake villain to end all snake villains. Marvel cooked him up for their old Conan comics based off an offhand mention in one of Robert E. Howard’s stories because they needed Conan to have a nemesis. So Conan’s nemesis, the arch-wizard/priest Thoth Amon, worships the dark god Set, regardless of the fact that Thoth Amon appeared exactly once in the very first Conan story. Now, it’s fifty years later and Set is apparently one of Marvel’s Primordial Ultra-Deities.

It’s that mixture of traditional myth and the cosmic I like again, though this time it’s less H.P. Lovecraft ‘cosmic horror’ and more Jack Kirby ‘cosmic action’; new gods and a new mythology for a new medium, but still the same old story. Set is the Serpent, like the Ogdru Jahad, manifesting in human lore as everything from the serpent in Eden to Leviathan. He was the first murderer, able to absorb the power of any other god he ate, and even today he seeks reptile supremacy. Wherever there is Set there are snakes, enacting the cosmic cycle of death and rebirth while lounging in decadence.

10.   Haos the Ultimate Bio-Weapon (Resident Evil 6)

… We’re going to do this now, and then we’re never going to do it again. Because we’re going to talk about something good that was in Resident Evil 6. One of the most infuriating things about RE6 is that it had some of the most incredible monster designs in the Resident Evil series. Great designs. The kind of monster designs that other games only wish they could achieve. And they were wasted on one of the worst games the series has produced. One of those designs was Haos, the apparent ultimate bio-weapon engineered by (ugh) Neo-Umbrella in a secret facility at the bottom of the ocean good lord I’m putting this on a list with William Hope Hodgson.

Haos deserves a better game; its design is unnecessarily fantastic. It looks like a ningen crossed with a jellyfish. It’s some far future stage of human evolution driven to its most extreme and bizarre form. There’s something forlorn and sad about it, but also beautiful and powerful. Its concept is purely apocalyptic; Haos will rise from the bottom of the ocean before it finally dies and dissolves into a gas that will spread across the world, turning humanity into zombies and monsters. Herald of a world of gods and monsters and all that. Even its name is kind of cool; ‘Haos’ is literally Siberian for ‘chaos’. And every day I have to wake up with the knowledge that this wonderful, horrible monster was stuck at the end of a Resident Evil 6 campaign. It’s depressing. So here’s to good old Haos; at least here you’ll get some respect.