#also this is how jace looks compared to anyone else in my mind

[fish-boy-ardee]

is this anything?

[normal-thoughts-official]

what are your thoughts about izzy and alec’s sibling bond from the scenes we got from the show

i liked their relationship a lot, actually. which is not to say that it was flawless, but the flaws we got to see were honestly some of what made me the most interested in them. and then of course sh dropped it like a hot potato, but like... it was still pretty interesting to me

disclaimer that this is my own Abused Kid™ stuff projecting for sure, but i still think the way i see their relationship makes sense (or well, i'm not sure if i would say my parents were abusive, but they are quite a lot like the lightwoods in their own way and i definitely consider the lightwoods abusers, so it doesn't really matter that much). so like this will probably feature a fair amount of oversharing lol

anyway! so what i find really interesting and really like about alec and izzy's relationship is that despite the fact that them having abuser parents who honestly put them in very specific "kid who always fucks up" vs "kid who is expected to do everything perfect" roles, they managed to still be friends and on each other's side and have an overall very loving and supporting relationship. i think that's what attracted me to their sibling bond the most, because for decades me and my brother didn't really manage to be close or build a relationship precisely because of those roles. in our case, my brother was the fuckup kid, i was the kid who had to always be perfect (in my case, lowkey to "compensate" for him) and it led to him resenting me and being all but afraid of me because everything i did seemed to be so much better than him in my parent's eyes, so... yeah

so it always struck me as pretty interesting that alec and izzy seemed to be genuinely so close. izzy is one of the few people who gets alec to smile and who gets to ever touch alec, and although they have a lot of differences, it always came down way more to teasing than to actual fighting between them

but also - which is partially why i said that their flaws were part of what drew me to them the most - the tensions that emerged from that abusive background were very much there, and i found that pretty interesting

another disclaimer that i tend to relate to alec more, because i was in the same role as him, but also tend to be very forgiving towards izzy because i see my brother in her and i blame myself for our relationship way more than him since he was the weakest link there lol. but also in part i think i project unto her in the sense that i kept trying to make things easier to my brother, but i kept fucking up because i didn't fully understand his situation, and i definitely think that's what went on with izzy and alec

so let's get into the details of how the whole "fuckup kid" vs "golden kid" (and disclaimer before ppl come yell at me again: i'm not saying that alec was treated well by his parents or that they treated him like he was good enough, because they definitely didn't. i'm saying that when compared to izzy he was considered the kid that had potential, that could be trusted, and who had the most amount of pressure put unto. again, that was how i was treated by my parents, so miss me with the "wow you think alec had it easy?" shit because i know damn well he did not lol. the "golden kid" is an abuse archetype and therefore it means you are abused. calm down) thing affected their relationship in particular

so alec was the eldest, and i think from very early on he latched unto the expectations his parents had for him as a way to protect himself and make sense of the world. i was telling autistic alec anon just today how i think that the fact that shadowhunter culture was so black and white and gave alec such a clear sense of what he was supposed to do and who he was supposed to be kind of helped him navigate the world because it made it easier for him to figure out the path to follow when everything else was just so confusing and the expectations were so crushing and everything he felt was so complicated. i think alec's always known that he didn't conform, and because he didn't have a safe outlet to let that out, he decided to just go by the book to protect himself. which is valid

that being said, i think the other half of the reason why he decided to pursue the "perfect shadowhunter" existence so hard was exactly because of izzy (and later jace and max). because again, alec is the eldest, and he was already being crushed by expectations of upholding the lightwood name and following the rules and whatnot. like, maryse and robert basically expected their kids to undo all the shit they had done when they joined the circle, and they didn't even tell them that that was the reason, so they were probably just taught that they should do what the lightwoods said because and that was that. and because there were all these stakes that they didn't even understand or know about, the pressure was harder

and alec was already being taught to be a leader, and he loved his sister, so he probably wanted to shield her from all the pressure of those expectations, because he knew he was out there fucking killing himself for it. so i think part of the reason he tried so hard to be perfect was because, if he was perfect, izzy (and then jace and max) would get to breathe a little bit. alec is pretty self sacrificial and definitely has a tendency to shoulder suffering in the place of ppl he loves, so i don't think that's far fetched. also, we saw how alec literally shouldered all the blame for jace's fuckups, despite the fact that jace did it all behind alec's back and with alec telling him not to do it (i'm saying jace because from what i remember what got alec punished in particular was something that jace and clary did, not izzy, but izzy was definitely also going against whatever alec told her to and i have no doubt that he would shoulder the blame for her as well, although i don't think she would use that against him, unlike some people. but i digress). but alec just allowed himself to be punished for it like it was on him, so i think it makes sense to believe that alec tried to take the brunt of their parents' pressure so izzy wouldn't have to

and the thing is that i think that izzy... never realized that. i mean, i'm sure she realized that alec was trying way too hard to be what their parents expected of her, but she never realized that she was part of the reason. and she tried to get him to rebel a little bit because she thought that he needed it, and i mean, she was right, but what she didn't realize is that the fact that alec didn't rebel was so she could. not that izzy was not facing consequences for her rebelling, because we saw how maryse treated her versus how she treated alec and jace (it's very interesting to me also how once jace came into the picture he became an actual golden kid, not a "golden kid" like the abused kid who is put as impossibly better than the other one but still never good enough, but actually good enough, and how that was used to put alec in that position where he had to work even harder as well. but that's for another post)

and that's the frustrating part (and i think the part i relate to izzy for the most) because i think she was genuinely trying to help? but she never really understood alec. i was also talking earlier today (or was it yesterday? rip my time blindness but it was definitely recent) about how many people seem to understand alec's coming out story as an internalized homophobia story, and how i don't think that's how it was at all. i don't wanna repeat myself so if anyone's interested in that it's here. and the thing is, i think izzy made the same mistake. she falsely assumed that alec didn't rebel because he genuinely internalized that being gay was bad and because he was lying to himself about it, but that wasn't the case at all. alec knew he was gay and accepted that, he just decided to stay in the closet and live life that way. which obviously is horrible and traumatic, but it's different, and because izzy couldn't tell the difference, she made it worse

izzy kept trying to make alec "accept" himself, but alec didn't really have a problem accepting himself; he just wanted to keep that a secret to protect himself. but because she thought that he was in denial, she kept trying to push him to... not exactly admit because i wouldn't say she was all like "alec just say it you'll feel better" but to maybe "face" it, and alec interpreted that as her demanding that he came out of the closet, which he couldn't do. so he kept closing off and she kept interpreting that as him being in denial, so she kept pushing, and she made things infinitely worse for him even if i am 100% sure her intentions were good (just look at how protective she was of alec and magnus during the beginning of their relationship, or how she tried to get maryse and robert to marry her off instead of alec, or the difference between how clary and jace talked about it - "you're in love with jace"; "this is about your feelings" - and how izzy talked about it - "alec, it's okay") but as we say in brazil, hell is filled to the brim with good intentions

that is not to say that izzy didn't go on that straight shit from time to time ("we all got our things, don't we?" comes to mind, but i gotta say it really pisses me off how everyone talks about izzy being homophobic in that scene and completely ignores how openly racist alec was. like obviously both are fucked up, but yall clearly seem to think only one of these is a problem. but that's for another post) but i think that generally her intentions were always to get alec to be more comfortable with himself/happier. she noticed how much the lightwood's expectations were crushing him, but again, she didn't realize that alec was choosing to take the brunt of these. she didn't realize that he couldn't rebel like she did because of her. not until it was too late

i think izzy only started to realize that - particularly how much of her rebelling was only allowed because alec was there as a safe option so they couldn't afford to have a "fuckup child" even if obviously they still hated that they couldn't control izzy - when she tried to get the lightwoods to marry her instead of alec and they were like... lol? it's alec who's supposed to save the lightwood name, not you. you are worthless as a bride and as a peace offering

and that's when it hit her that alec was taking a role, a role that he had been effectively protecting her from having to take, but that also meant she couldn't help him

i think that's when she realized, because you can see the change in her behavior, you know - "you stood by me, so now i'm standing by you, big brother". she understood that alec was trying to protect her the same way she had tried to protect him and never realized, but that by trying to get alec to just stop without thinking about what the greater picture was for him, she was just making things harder for him. i think that was some very interesting growth we got to see

and on the other hand alec didn't realize that izzy had been trying to protect him as well. like i think that she definitely laid the whole "fuckup kid" thing too thick, which was partially for herself, like, basically embracing the role because she would never be good enough for the lightwoods so why not just accept that she was a fuckup and be everything they despised? but i think she also partially did it for alec, because she wanted to show him that it was okay. that there could be a life that wasn't just doing what your parents expected you to. and like, sure, she got treated like shit for it, and she faced some forms of abuse that alec didn't (mainly touch/affection withdrawal from what we got to see in the show, but also considerable more verbal degrading. again im not saying alec had it easy, especially because we know that the parts where maryse expressed "pride" over him were basically used to make him do what she wanted; but still, the difference in treatment is very clear), but she was still standing, so it was possible, see?

i don't even think this is something i had to defend a lot because she said it so many times? she was always telling alec that he could loosen up, that it was okay (she said the exact words "it's okay" many times). she had a kinda, idk, sassy attitude over it, generally treating it like a joke, but imo that was because she knew that if she talked about it in all seriousness alec would shut down, like he had many times. so i think by making it into a joke and playing the mindless "woo i don't care about anything" character she was trying to have that conversation in a more subtle way. at the very least, alec was amused

and i think a huge part of the fandom also misinterprets izzy as being exactly that shallow person who only thought about immediate gratification that she pretended to be but honestly i don't see that at all? throughout all of season 1, the single thing that drove izzy's character was her desire to protect alec, except for when she tried to save meliorn from him, which was like.... just the decent thing to do. and izzy is not a shallow character. she is not stupid. and she is not primarily driven by her own desires. that is not to say that izzy was never selfish (see: how she treated raphael, so much shit about sizzy), but she is not the kind of character who only does whatever the fuck she wants to because it sounds more fun that's jace and clary. most of the time, her primary motivation was to help alec or clary, aka people that she loves. i think that, like alec, she is the kind that only extends that protectiveness over the people closest to her and is not really the "helping everyone out" type, but she is also not completely self-absorbed like she pretended to be. and i don't think she even cared all that much about parties and whatnot. like when did we see her going to one on her own without it being a mission? when did we see izzy actually pursuing one night stands? that is not to say that these things are bad, but if izzy were that girl who only cares about sleeping around and having fun like she pretended to be, then one would think we would see her actually doing that instead of just performing that shallow mindless sexy girl stereotype?

and like look i know that she was written to be a sexy lamp or whatever but if the writers aren't gonna care enough about her to make that consistent and show her doing that beyond what she says i might as well go there and give her the depth that she deserves. especially because we got to see izzy talk about that so much. like her saying that one of the things that attracted her to raphael was that for once in her life it didn't feel like everything was all about sex. i find it appalling that people genuinely think that that's all she's about when she made it so clear that it bothered her. like imo izzy took on that role, again, to piss off her parents, and also because it was something that she was good at. she was good at being sexy and she got gratification and positive feedback over that, which she was obviously starved for since her own mother wouldn't even fucking hug her. it was the one thing she didn't fuck up at and that got her to feel like she was treasured, even if really she was just desired

not just that but izzy also consistently made hard choices for those she loved? like im not gonna say that izzy going to save meliorn from torture was anything less than the bare minimum but if she were that shallow self centered persona that only wanted to have fun and didn't care about the consequences she wouldn't have put so much on jeopardy to save them. or risk being deruned and losing everything so she could call the clave out on their bullshit. or break up with meliorn (someone we know she genuinely liked) so she could offer herself to be married off to someone in alec's place. the one thing that we know izzy would be miserable over, because that woman was not born to be no one's trophy wife. and she was fully ready and willing to throw her WHOLE life away for alec. that would be FOREVER. miss me with that "izzy is a shallow girl who only cares about herself and partying" shit

like to me it's very clear that that was a front (especially because the way she talked about it was SO over the top too, like, it sounded so fake. and when we got scenes of her talking to alec or to clary she was a wholly different person, way less confident, way softer. honestly izzy could have been such a great narrative about woc and hypersexualization and the traps of taking over that "femme fatale" role as a form of empowerment or whatever, but of course sh doesn't have the range for that) and i think that front was first and foremost for alec's sake. she was trying to break him out of the lightwood's brainwashing. what she didn't realize was that he wasn't brainwashed, he was making a choice between the very bad options that he had. and alec in turn didn't realize that izzy acted the way she did, in great part, for him, not for herself. i wouldn't say that alec bought that izzy was a shallow girl because we know how much he loves her and that he knows her better than anyone, but i think he also didn't realize she was trying to help/protect him

so it was such an interesting miscommunication issue and i would have loved to see that actually addressed and worked on, but alas. the most we ever got was them talking about being honest to each other about the yin fen. and izzy pretty much didn't get real plotlines or character development anyway daoijdaoij except for the absolute bullcrap that was the yin fen which i am not going to get into because it makes me so angry and i hate it so much

and then of course sh didn't really get into it and basically considered the problem solved once alec came out, which i mean, i guess does take that out of the way when it was the main miscommunication problem between them, but still, they should have had a talk and realized what a stupid dance they were both having and how they would have both benefitted from working together instead of in the name of each other. which is a frequent trope for alec in relationships anyway, too, so it could be a good introduction to these issues, but alas!

in short: i think both alec and izzy love each other very much, have each other's best interests at heart, but weren't really seeing each other as they were. and they both put a front for each other (izzy in particular) that made communication pretty much impossible. and they ended up not being very good for each other (particularly izzy for alec, but i think alec also made her feel alone and like he saw her as.. just some stupid girl, you know?), but i loved to see how these things were there simultaneously. the wanting to help each other and the effectively only making things worse. the love that was so present and so strong despite all of that. the way that they never became competitive or resented each other like kids who are raised with those dynamics usually get. i just love how there was so much going on and so many problems but still so much love between them. i really wished we got to see it actually get some sort of closure and more exploration, but. fuck me i guess

[dontmindmyshadowhunting]

To never being parted - Part 2 Chap 4 - The Birthday Party

This is the Chapter 4 of the mini sequel to my flower cards inspired Kitty Fan Fic “Am I Forgotten?”

AO3 Link here.

****

As it turned out, Jace absolutely loved his surprise. He jumped in the pop-out cake to hug Kit, who pushed him away, and they ended up rolling and wrestling amidst the vanilla buttercream, with a crowd of onlookers cheering. The most enthusiastic was Mina, who shrieked with delight during the entire fight.

They both had to change after that, which was a relief. Tessa had to hastily recover Kit’s dress from Mina, who had undertaken to lick the fabric drenched in vanilla frosting.

The party was as decadent as any party organized by Magnus Bane could be. Dark blue velvet banners hung from the ceiling, stitched with the design of stars which seemed to shine, as if the guests were standing under the night sky. Candles glowed from every surface. Magnus had magicked up a small playground for the kids in one corner of the room, far from the chocolate fountains.

Kit carried Mina around on his shoulders for two solid hours before she finally asked him to put him down. When he did, she whispered in his ear. “When I am older, I am going to marry that tall and handsome Centurion bodyguard who has been following us everywhere… He takes such good care of my big brother.” Kit felt all the blood drain from his face.

****

The dinner table was covered with food from all around the world but Kit settled for a burger. He noticed that Julian had made the same choice although he saw him slip his lettuce to King Kieran, who had decided to make an appearance for Jace’s birthday party. He was seated between Mark and Cristina, and both were trying to get him to taste Mexican food. He shot Julian a grateful look.  

“So, has Ty been sleeping in front of your bedroom, as he used to in Los Angeles? That was so cute!” Cristina asked Kit, in a cheerful voice.

“Of course not”, Kit replied. “He is absolutely welcome to my bed now.”

Everyone around the table froze before turning to look at him. Shit. Did he say that out loud?  

Kit moved his gaze towards the only person whose opinion mattered in the case.

Ty, who was seated next to Dru and Jaime Rosales, was staring at him open-mouthed, his cheeks flushed. Oh well, thought Kit. I am not taking it back anyway. If I said I was joking, Ty would take it literally. And we wouldn’t want that now, would we?

Kit shrugged and went back to eating his burger.

****

After dinner, there was a cluster of girls around Lily Chen, who was seated on a chair flaunting the Hot Shadowhunters calendar, as if it was the best book of the year.

She had decided to publish a first edition, as an experiment, in an attempt to boost the Clave’s revenues. Alec had been reluctant at first, but even he couldn’t deny the incredible success of the calendar after only a few weeks of sales. It had been sold to both Shadowhunters and Downworlders, entire stalls being dedicated to it in several Shadow Markets around the world.

King Kieran himself had bought several to add to his collection which included kitten and mundane firefighters calendars.

“So, of course we have Jace for the month of January. That one - and Mark Blackthorn’s - were the easiest pictures to obtain,” Lily explained as she enthralled her audience by flipping through the pages of the calendar.

On the front page, Jace was almost entirely naked, a well positioned sword covering his most intimate parts. Mark was just as barely dressed, poetically covered in roses and thorns.

“I had to negotiate with Magnus for Alec’s picture but as it turns out, I am quite happy with what he provided.” Magnus winked. In the picture, Alec was half naked, his muscles flexed as he was pulling an arrow to his bow. His skin was covered with black marks which stood in stark contrast with his white skin.

“Here we have Jem. Although he is officially retired from the Clave, we couldn’t do this without him. He is much too popular with the Shadow Markets’ crowd. He is only half naked of course, but compared to what people used to see of him when he was a Silent Brother, this looks like porn.” Most of the girls giggled.

“This is Simon, it was easy enough to obtain a picture of him. I just had to offer him a limited edition of a light-saver…”

“A lightsaber,” Isabelle corrected.

“Whatever. The most difficult one to obtain was Julian Blackthorn’s, of course,” Lily continued. “I had to hire a professional photographer…”

“You mean a paparazzi,” Emma interrupted.

“Emma almost broke his arm…”

“He was lurking behind a rock, taking pictures of Julian while he was surfing…”

“But apparently you both found an arrangement.”

Emma stared off into space. “He does have talent. He took amazing pictures of Julian on his surfboard… I made an album of them. He’s going to be our wedding’s photographer. Free of charge.”

“That’s my girl,” Julian said, raising his hand for a high five, though not moving his gaze from Tavvy.

Lily turned to Kit and Ty, then, pointing two fingers at her eyes and at them. “Now that you have come of age, I have got my eyes on you boys.”

Ty looked terrified but Kit only shrugged.

****

Kit danced with a lot of people. Mina, mostly, but also Clary, Isabelle, Emma, Dru, Aline and even Lily, who kept giving him a variety of nicknames. Mostly food-related. When he waltzed with Tessa, everyone stopped to observe their graceful twirls, and they were given a round of applause. Kit had to admit he was quite smug about it. Not a single dance with Ty though, who had mostly been hiding in a corner with his headphones on, his arms crossed, though a friend of Dru’s kept talking animatedly to him. He didn’t seem to notice.

After a dozen dances, Kit was exhausted and parched. As he moved towards the buffet to get something to drink, Emma and Cristina appeared out of nowhere to stand in his path, their faces alight with excitement. Kit had noticed that when Emma was not glued to Julian’s side, she was always running around with Cristina and Mark, like an iconic trio of besties.

“Welcome to the club,” they said in unison. Had they rehearsed that?

“What club?”

“The club of fearless warriors who decided to take the hazardous path of dating Blackthorn men,” Emma replied with an ominous voice.

“One word of advice,” Cristina said. “Get as much sleep as you can, while you can.”

“What?” Kit was puzzled.

“Hmmm, how to explain…” Emma put one finger on her mouth, her expression thoughtful. “Have you ever wondered why there are so many of them?”

“The Blackthorns you mean? Er- because they like kids?” Kit answered.

“True enough,” Emma replied, winking at him.

“What else is there?” Kit asked, as he had the feeling he was missing something.

Emma and Cristina burst into fits of laughter, clutching each other for support.

Kit shrugged and considered it as his cue to leave. Ty had already left the party an hour ago and Kit was wondering whether he should stop by his room to watch him sleep. Just a little peek. Ok, no, that was creepy.

As he was heading towards the door to leave the party inconspicuously, Kit was stopped mid-flight by a hand grasping his shoulder.

“Not so fast, Kit Herondale.”

Kit turned to meet Julian’s blue-green eyes. He was a different version of the Julian he had known.

The shape of his face was sharper, his features more chiseled and his luscious Blackthorn waves longer. There were no longer circles under his eyes and Kit had noticed that he had stopped biting his fingernails. He seemed happier, more rested. Almost… glowing.

Kit had to admit he was stunning. But I am already head over heels in love with his brother, Kit was reminded.

According to Jace, Julian had been a close and trusted advisor of Alec for the past few years, the Consul relying on him for war strategy and delicate political matters.

During the time he had spent in Los Angeles, Kit had witnessed how dangerous Julian’s sharp mind could be when he decided to use it. How deadly. And that was tired, restless Julian. Glowing Julian… their enemies would never know what had hit them.

Julian’s gaze moved to Kit’s chest, where the Blackthorn locket was resting.

“I see that Ty has given you his and Livvy’s pendant. I trust that you know what this means.”

His blue-green eyes were now boring into Kit’s, and Kit could not help but feel exposed, as if Julian was not looking into his eyes but straight into his head, accessing his mind.

“I do. This is it, for Ty. I am it . First and last. There won’t ever be anyone else for him.”

“What about you?” Julian’s gaze was still burning holes through Kit’s eyes.

Kit sighed. “You know what they say. Herondales love but once.”

“And you just realized that, where you are concerned, this is true?”

“No, Julian. I had already realized that three years ago.”

Kit turned to move, but Julian caught him by the arm.

“You already know what I am going to say next, don’t you?”

“Julian, I have witnessed what you were capable of in order to protect your family. I’d rather be facing the nine Princes of Hell.”

“Good,” was all Julian said, letting him go.

****

Tagging @darkkitai

[silvia7272]

Miraculess Ladybug Salt AU: You Always Liked To Play With Fire ~ Blossoming Friendships???

I really hope you’re all enjoying this new series; I honestly just came up with the idea on a dime, and then after I started developing it, I knew I needed to share it with all of my fans.

Also, when I actually get around to including more characters from the movie, it’s gonna be fun giving them some personality traits. I can’t wait.

And er-… I may have accidently messed up with some off the names. Since I changed most off the names already, I then decided to change them for Barbara and Olympia, however I had forgotten that I’d already written their names down in the story. Opps. I thought this would’ve been better since I think I saw some people complain about the United Hero’s super names, so I changed them, as well as if I’m going to add in going to Gotham into the mix and there’s already a character called Barbara, I just know I’ll get hella confused for who I’m talking about. I don’t want people to get confused but maybe I should make a post off the names I’ve already changed to begin with, just to defer from canon. Well, here it is.

My OC: Rosaniline Keyne-Hill was Rosina Scoats

Soliane Rin was Crisono Tassa

Canon Counterparts: Jace Keyne was Jessica Keyne

Aveon Keyne-Hill was Aeon Hill

Medusa was Uncanny Valley

(I kept Olympia the same)

Nebula was Majestia

Brianna was Barbara

Eostrix was Night Owl

So, I might just change them when I can be bothered to.

This fanfic and its ideas were all made before season 4 came out, so if something doesn’t add up please don’t worry. That information wasn’t available then, and unless it fits into my story or I like it, I won’t include it in my story. Also, that new Miraculous wiki can get lost, I’m not putting any of that new information in here if they couldn’t even put it in the show. (Also, so far, I do not care for season 4 whatsoever so yeah, I may not include any of that in this work and the other.)

Word Count: 9435

Tags: @vixen-uchiha​ if you wish to be tagged all you have to do is say. Also, if you change your name please tell me, I don’t want to leave you out since you’ve asked to be tagged. I’m very sorry if I’ve missed anyone.

Well, I hope you’ll enjoy it.

Summary:

Note: This fic contains OOC scenes of Miraculous Ladybug as well as a ton of salt, so if you don't like that stuff you may scroll past and have a nice day.

In a world with no Miraculous, no Hawkmoth and no Ladybug, how does our little heroine do?

Well, it usually would be hanging out with her friends, as any other teenager would do...

But, of course, this wasn't normal.

This was reality. It was cold, hard and definitely not welcome.

So, when this girl wishes to have some kind of adventure in her boring, mundane life…

How long does it take for her to regret it?

***

Mlle Bustier had always believed her students were the best in the whole Collège.

In fact, she whole-heartedly believed that all her students could do no harm.

In her mind, they were at the peak of maturity, though they may be in their adolescence and had some seemingly petty dramas, they all prevailed to take whatever they wanted for themselves, when they saw opportunities, they rightfully took.

And Mlle Bustier only wanted the best for her students.

As much as Caline would never admit it to any of her work colleagues, she always knew her class was exceptional.

Kim, Alix, what with two of the sportiest people that were bound to succeed.

Max, A genius who was able to develop a fully functioning AI, when he was a teen no less. She could only imagine what other inventions her little Einstein could invent later on. The type of universities he’d get into, the job offers, oh the endless possibilities.

Ivan, Rose, Juleka, A lead vocalist, guitarist, and drummer in a popular rock band. Though she had heard there may have been a few mishaps in the band, she was sure they would be even better than before.

Mylène, A passionate environmentalist who only wanted to help the world become a cleaner place, and entered as many organisations as possible.

Nino, An inspiring DJ/filmmaker. She always wanted to help out by lending the classroom key afterschool, that way he could work on all of his works. Allowing everyone to take part even, it was truly one of her best rules.

Alya, A journalist's whose goal was to become bigger than Lois Lane.

Adrien, A model, the most famous teenage one by Parisian standards.

Chloé, The mayor's Daughter.

Sabrina, The head of police’s Daughter.

Nathaniel, an inspiring comic book artist that had gained a lot of attention online.

And Lila, a Daughter of an Italian diplomat.

Although she could admit to herself that not all of these aspirations were something that she could boast about, she could show off that all of her students had something they would work for or even show off.

And what did the others have?

Two weather girls and a writer? Caline would have to laugh, compare that with her class and you could clearly see who was at the top.

Although she hadn’t said a specific name for a reason.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng. The young fashion designer/baker’s girl.

For a while, that name had left a sour name in her mouth, whenever she had been forced to say it for the register, it only took her a few days for her to realise how much it annoyed her whenever said girl was late to her lesson. Honestly, did that girl not value punctuality? Nevermind in the workplace; what about her reputation as a teacher?

She was becoming a lot more reclused, gaining a disrespectful attitude towards her she had no recollection of when she had gained it, and became incredibly upset when she remembered every year on her birthday, the girl would give her a whole assortment of pastries and desserts.

Now, because she had somewhat highly encouraged her students to send gifts for a better grade, it was just a box of chocolates.

Just a small box of chocolates!?

How could she show off her gifts to the others now!?

And worst of all?

She refused to be the good little Class President anymore.

Her example?

Her Marinette off the world?

Did she not care about setting a good example? Or to be a role model to the class?

Really, to be so selfish, to all of her friends, how ungrateful.

She believed she had sorted this little problem when Chloé, in a fit off understandable jealousy, drew over her gift.

Marinette was unreasonably angry at the poor girl, and so Bustier had said how better it would be for her to rise up and become a beacon of light for Chloé instead of letting that hate and anger fester inside her.

To let go and help out everyone.

To not let your negative side take a hold of you and be positive around everyone in your vicinity.

After all, sharing and helping makes the world go round, and we do want to help the world, right?

She remembered those words she had spoken so fondly to her, as she was always someone anyone could come to for advice. It had always worked after all, after students were able to see the correct side, she’d be thanked which always left a small flutter of happiness around her.

Mendeleiev scared many students away, D’Argencourt with his eccentric personality, made students want to avoid being seen near him after lessons ended, and hardly anyone spent their time in the art club room.

Caline believed she was seen as a shining example of light by the other students, and knew she was seen as a Disney Princess by many, Rose had even called her that once.

However, getting back to the matter at hand, she was very pleased when Marinette had gone out of her way to make Chloé happy, of course, her attitude still remained mostly the same but Caline was smart enough to know it wouldn’t take one nice event to help the girl, so she was so proud when she carried on helping the poor girl out. Chloé was smiling more and even asking for a multitude of things from the blue-haired girl, and if she ever saw Marinette get unreasonably upset again, she’d send a very disappointing glare.

She knew being disappointed in students was a sure-fire way for them to do better and work harder, she knew how guilty her students would feel if they ever managed to get that gaze from their teacher, and… If the elder had done this a bit more on Marinette than anyone else… Well, she would just smile, telling them how much Marinette was able to accomplish, her trips for the class were so good, everyone was jealous. So, didn’t that seem good?

And even though she did see most of it going in the trash, she knew Chloé was just a little bit picky, she’d liked the interest in her, it was normal.

Her home life wasn’t something to be overlooked, she just knew the girl only wished for attention, and she was sure to be able to give it to her.

But then she… Stopped.

Caline had believed the girl had gotten wrongly impatient and told Marinette she shouldn’t be so extreme, but Marinette dared to fight back, against her?

She exclaimed that it wasn’t just Chloé anymore, how could she be expected to be nice to both her and Lila?

Bustier was confused, Lila? What did she have to do with this?

And so, the girl explained that she was just lying for attention, every breath that came out was just a lie. And she couldn’t stand it, she’d apparently turned her friends against her.

Now, normally, Bustier knew Marinette wouldn’t lie.

But, she also knew she couldn’t let this ‘lie’ be revealed.

It might harm her reputation.

She couldn’t have that happen.

So, she knew what she had to say.

That this was just girl drama that all teenagers had.

She couldn’t afford to let her empire fall so soon.

And for something like that.

The faces of the other teachers.

The gossip surrounding her.

“Looks like Caline’s not so good a teacher after all.”

No, she couldn’t bare it.

Who said a little white lie would hurt anyone?

In order to keep her class, exactly the same.

A few snips were made to maintain its image.

And if she had to snip her most prized student.

Then… So be it.

***

When she entered her classroom it was just like any other day.

Her students forming around a desk in the front of the room.

She always commended her students for such actions, she knew how sweet and silent the girl could be and loved how accommodating the class could be to her.

She couldn’t help the wondering gaze that looked upon the back row.

A certain seat was empty, but that was routine by now. And even though there was still 5 minutes till the bell, she still marked her late in her book.

Sometimes Caline had to think if at some points she had expected too much of this single girl… But only to remember that, no, in fact, when Marinette had a better attitude, she had expected too less. Back when she gained some confidence, she had always surpassed her expectations, her trips were the highlight off her job, her morning snacks were a welcomed surprise, her need to prove herself let her have as many responsibilities as possible, yes some were meant to be her own paperwork, but she’d never seen Marinette excel so much, it was a dream come true.

If she could just push her, just a little more… She was sure Marinette would go back to her obedient self, and it would make Bustier’s job a lot easier.

Although… The new student seemed like the perfect candidate as well, since Marinette may not follow her good example, she may be able to get a different example.

She could see just how sweet and pleasant the cherry haired girl was, she’d be perfect for the role. Sneaking a quick glance at the girl who was simply minding her business reading a book and keeping to herself. She did take note she had a bit of a limp for the past week, but didn’t bring it up just to not embarrass the girl in front of the whole class. She just knew if she was able to simply send her views her way, a new example would be made, hell she may even be able to have two if Rosaniline became such a good influence on Marinette she may even change again.

She also just knew Rosann would be good for Chloé, after all, they’d have so much to talk about, and coming from similar backgrounds she could make sure they could be paired together as much as possible.

Of course, only she knew about her family name, Monsieur Damocles had been informed by her residence that they’d prefer not to spread this information about, for it had been such a hinderance for her to make friends before.

Bustier frowned, she knew very well her students wouldn’t try to suck up to her, she almost felt insulted that she wouldn’t trust her students.

But the worst part was that she couldn’t brag about her new student to anyone, no one could find out or they’d all face some action from her Mother, she was very clear on that.

However Bustier tried to not let it bother her too much, after all she was sure she could give a gentle nudge in the right direction about trusting friends and not keeping secrets, to coax her out of her shell. She’d just have to be excruciatingly patient.

Clapping her hands was a symbol for them all to pay attention, she’d never raise her voice to them, not even a little, and she knew they would respect it and quieten down their chatter.

And just like that, the door opened to a fashionably late bluenette. Bustier would feign ignorance to the rather disappointing glares stares the girl was receiving, after all, she was giving one off her own.

She sheepishly walked to her seat just as the bell rang, honestly, she’d given her a lot of warnings before about her punctuality, did she really need to brief her Parents in about the situation?

“Well class, since all of you are here now, I can get on with the lesson” And so began her teaching.

It was fairly simple, she knew her students would be able to easily understand, after all, she knew they were the best, the smartest.

She had to explain the project they were bound to complete to a high standard, she just knew it was another to her list of student’s accomplishments she could brag about.

The project entailed 30% of coursework they must do in pairs in the span of 2 months. They could choose any topic so long as it followed the theme.

And this year’s theme was history, generally her students would groan at this topic, but considering they were able to decide on their personal preferences that should help encourage them to complete it to the best of their ability.

Plus, it helped towards their end of the year grade, and helped their teamwork skills. Of course, Mlle Bustier would always try to be as generous as she could, she wouldn’t remove marks from accidental mistakes unlike a purple haired teacher would, she just couldn’t bear to be so mean to them when she knew they were trying so hard to get all of their marks, she couldn’t punish them for that. Even if it was not necessarily the right thing to do, she couldn’t let there be any wrongful disappointment.

As long as they carried on being a great example, she could never fail them.

Besides everyone loved her projects, while having to be in pairs they always got to present it in any way they wanted, a science experiment, PowerPoint presentation to even a play, she was so very proud when Mylène did that play from last year, so impressive and she had gotten out of her shell. All she had to do was make them follow a simple rule before they could go all out. Her students loved the independence, and when they asked what type of ideas she had, she gleamed and expressed her own interest in the fairy tales. There was so much you could do with so many magical stories and elements, the possibilities were endless. She loved always talking about them in at least all of her lesson as she knew how many life lessons could come out of it.

And besides, in a sense, the other thing that made her the best teacher, she let them pick their own partners.

Of course, she had to make it seem like that.

It was always the same since kindergarten, everyone’s names would be placed in a bowl on a piece of paper, and one by one she’d pick a name up, when she read it out loud other people could raise their hands to ask to be their partner.

Normally it would be the first person to raise their hand, however, Caline wasn’t stupid, there were certain pairs she didn’t always want together.

Such as Alix and Kim, if it were a presentation about sports, she wouldn’t mind as much, knowing they would present a physical display of their athleticism… However, she knew if they were paired up for a slideshow presentation about let’s say, politics. She knew they would only start at the last minute, and include a very messily strown up slideshow. And with Marinette refusing to help out her classmates with even the simplest of matters, her hands were tied.

So, if they ever stuck their hand up for either of them, Bustier would wait to see who else would put their hand up, most of the time it was either Max or Nathaniel respectfully, and since they were all friends, no one had called her out for it.

And that’s how she got around it.

So, she started doing her routine, swirling her hand around the, she picked one up and began to read it aloud.

“Lila Rossi. And who would like to be her partner?” Immediately several hands shot up, bringing a smile on her face again, so many wanted to help this girl it filled her with pride and comfort.

And well, she always had to help by picking the most knowledgeable of students.

“Max, I believe I saw your hand up first” Some students moaned that they couldn’t be with Lila, but they knew that maybe next time they would get a shot.

“Ivan Bruel” Unsurprisingly Mylène’s hand shot up first followed by Juleka and Rose, now normally she wouldn’t let couples be together, but she couldn’t break them up, they did their work so well, so she let it slide.

Grabbing the next piece of paper Caline’s once bright smile, dropped as her eyes scanned over the name before sighing audibly, she didn’t need to hide it, everyone knew whose name it was.

.

.

.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng took a deep sigh.

As soon as Bustier told them about a presentation she was immediately filled with dread.

She could quite easily do it well, or at least get a well enough grade considering Bustier’s shady marking skills.

But her partners influence would be something she dreaded.

Best case scenario, they’ll be so repulsed to be in the same room with her that they’d work independently, and it would more or less seem like two separate presentations in one. Her grade was low.

Worst case scenario, she’d be subjected to either do it alone, or screamed about how much they don’t want to be near her. Her grade would be lowered.

Not theirs, hers.

Bustier would exclaim how she wanted the bluenette to rise above it all and forgive them, and until she was a better student in her eyes, she’d be punished for it.

It didn’t help that when her name was specifically called out, there would be a silence they’ll have to endure for what would seem like eternity.

It would either stop when someone so nobly sacrificed themselves to team up with her or Bustier would be forced to wait until the end for the last name to be picked out.

And she hated having to feel like this.

They were all friends, why did it have to be like this?

And well, just like this silence, it would last for a rather uncomfortable time, more than Marinette liked.

Her head rested on the desk, she at this point didn’t care about her appearance in front of the new girl. It had been a week already and at this point Marinette knew they’d be no point getting to know someone who was bound to abandon her.

It was a despairing truth she’d learn from experience, it was why no one hung around her, even from the other classes, they would be a target next.

Marinette couldn’t blame them, if the situations were reversed, she doubted she’d have enough courage to go out of her way to help.

So, she’d just sit, head on desk as time would pass.

.

.

-

“H-Hey! Why do you have your hand up, we told you how she was a bully, why would you want to be her partner!?”

???

Wait-

That wasn’t meant to happen.

Hesitantly, Marinette picked her head up, only to find her seatmate with an eager hand in the air.

She looked over to her face, a smile present as she glanced towards the teacher, waiting for her to say they would be paired together.

“I want to be Marinette’s partner, and I haven’t seen yet why I shouldn’t” Rosann’s head turned innocently to her classmates, she was radiating happiness as they stared in shock. A blond very much as he did want to be her partner when her name was called out, but he kept his thoughts to himself.

“Marinette! Did you threaten her as well, girl you’re unbelieva-”

“I’m afraid you are being mistaken Mlle Césaire, I wouldn’t willingly make a partnership with my enemy, now Mlle Bustier you may continue if you would please” Marinette gasped, she- she’d just put a target on her back. For her! This girl was crazy…

And yet, despite her cute appearance, she hadn’t seen someone look so confident and polite.

‘Wait did I say cute-’

Even though the girl had stated her answer, it wasn’t the answer the class was looking for.

“Mlle Bustier you can’t put their names down together” Someone protested. It sounded like Lila, she was always leading the class for this sort of thing.

“Yeah, put my name down for Rosaniline instead, we know she doesn’t mean it.” That was Alya.

“But I-” She felt guilty for the new girl, she really did, she would’ve warned her how you’ll never truly be able to say your opinion without everyone interfering or as she put it, butting in.

“She doesn’t know what’s she’s gotten herself into, the poor girl” Rose spoke, if Marinette wasn’t so used to it she’d flinch from the words Rose spoke about her.

What was bad, Rosann wasn’t able to speak.

What was worse, Bustier was very much considering it.

“I guess it would be for the best” Marinette couldn’t believe it. The one person who willingly decided to pair up with her, was being ignored to be partnered up with someone else.

Not that Marinette wanted them to be with someone else mind you, but it was their decision, why wasn’t she spared a thought and have people notice that maybe they didn’t have to decide for her?

What was crueller, was that Marinette found the one person that was on her side… Was the one person who was the first to make her clamper up.

“This is ridiculous absolutely ridiculous” Of all people, it had to be her to join in?

“How extremely hypocritical of you Mlle Bustier, if I couldn’t change my partner from the last project then neither does Dupain-Cheng in this one, isn’t this school meant to teach fairness. Well, the only fair thing I see is the fairly incompetent from this class” Of course the students didn’t take kindly to her words as Bustier sighed yet again.

She knew Chloé had a point, she’d tried to persuade Chloé to have a different partner than Sabrina a few times in previous projects, it would depend on the person, if Chloé didn’t mind, she’d moan but nothing else. If it was someone she didn’t like, she’d threaten to call the mayor, most of the times she wouldn’t considering out of all the teachers even Chloé would admit she liked Bustier the most, she’d never blame her for anything and she loved that about her, but she had a point none the less.

Besides, Bustier believed that maybe Rosaniline would prove to be a very good example to her previous one, and this could be a great place to start.

“Yes Chloé, I believe I understand now, it would be highly unfair if we didn’t let Rosaniline decide for herself” Marinette couldn’t help the somewhat annoyed glance she gave to the teacher for that comment.

“But Mlle-”

“No buts Alya, now why don’t we use the idea Chloé suggested?” The class all heard the snicker from Chloé, they couldn’t believe she could stoop so low like this.

And then it carried on like it had been, but Marinette couldn’t help but let her curiosity get the better of her and as the class was carrying on, Marinette swallowed the gulp that had formed in her throat and turned to the girl next to her.

“Err- Rosaniline?” She gently tapped the girl’s shoulder, she turned and showed she was listening.

“Yes?” Oh god Mari don’t lose confidence now.

“Why, why did you do that?” With that, she saw a smirk emerge from the girl.

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious, but I am rather petty since I refuse to take the word of someone else before doing my own research” Oh. Somehow that wasn’t what she was expecting, but honestly it was better than pretending to care.

“Although… I should apologise, for how abrupt I was about it” Marinette widened her eyes, why- she didn’t do anything wrong?

“I would’ve preferred asking for your consent first, but seeing the opportunity I may have taken it rather quickly” She grasped one of her braids, a nervous habit maybe, Marinette couldn’t help but notice before giving her answer.

“N-No its fine, I-I don’t mind you being my partner, not like I’ve got anyone better- I mean- I didn’t mean it like that. I just- erm, I just. I’m glad you thought about me” If Marinette had been able to look past her hair, she would’ve noticed the small blush creep up on her cheeks.

“No problem”

***

Normally, a weekend would be extremely relaxing to the young designer.

She had as much time to sleep in, plus she started a late shift anyway, her Parents were the best when it came to that, since they knew how much trouble she had getting up on a school day, they knew they couldn’t ask her to get up early for work, especially since it was their workplace.

And she had completed other homework assignments a while ago, so surely there was no reason for why she should be pacing around in the living room so early for her.

Well, it may or may not have something to do with the new girl.

.

She really should stop calling her new girl, she gave her her name for god’s sake.

But she just felt so nervous.

She told her Parents about this new assignment, and how she actually volunteered to be her partner, and how Marinette in the spur of a moment offered to go to her place on Saturday to start it. And she couldn’t deny when she saw the relieved expression she had when she offered. But now…

She hadn’t had someone over in years, everyone else avoided this place like the plague, the Parents still came though, and although they were slightly informed of the situation, they also just believed it was teenage drama.

Her own Parents showed their own worry, they loved their girl, and they truly didn’t want her to ever be hurt like last time ever again, but they also knew if she never gave this girl a shot, she’d never know.

Was it better to know than to ponder it forever?

That was a phrase Marinette was all too familiar with. However, it still didn’t calm her nerves.

Her Parents had told her if she didn’t want Rosaniline to be around anymore, they’d be more than happy to just so happen have an event take place right at that moment that she would have to leave, even if Marinette hoped that wouldn’t happen.

So, as she continued to pace, she was able to see from her balcony the Parisians all around, her doorway was slightly ajar so she could hear the sound of birds chirping, cars passing, and a motorcycle coming to a stop.

The noise of a motorcycle made her come to a fond thought of her Nonna. She loved her very much, and her free spirit.

Whenever she came back from one of her grand trips, she’d always get Marinette some type of fabric that always made her determined to incorporate into some type of clothing.

It was somewhat why she always stayed in the path of fashion, not just because her Parents would be disappointed in seeing her so unmotivated, but because she still liked the challenge of turning fabric into something.

She giggled, besides that thing from last week, it was the only adventurous thing she had done.

The sound of steps interrupted her as she saw her Maman, she nodded before Marinette felt a slight drop in her stomach.

She was here, she just needed to calm down, it would be fine.

She’d just smile and brace for it.

Walking down the stairs to her bakery was the same as always, she could smell the fresh bread from the oven. She always appreciated this aspect, living in a bakery always meant the aroma was lovely.

Going through the door after her Maman she braced herself to see the ne- er, Rosaniline.

What she didn’t brace for was the little girl cuddling her leg as soon as she entered.

“Hi, my names Piper, can we go to your room now?” She had to compose herself so she wouldn’t fall over with the girl in tow, but she couldn’t help internally awwing at the little kids’ appearance.

Black hair tied back in a red bow, a pink leotard with a lighter coloured tutu skirt. And a short but worn-out blue cape. And to top it all off, sparkly pink shoes faded to orange.

“O-Oh, hi there.” She gave a little wave, still completely confused.

“I’m so sorry Mari, Piper was just too excited to meet you, I’m very sorry for the shock” She saw a concerned look coming from Rosaniline. She sure did fret a lot- ah, she knew she didn’t mean it as a bad thing she just, well, she was used to being quiet and observing.

“Its fine really, but how come you brought your… Sister here?” She was unsure if the guess was right but considering the nod from the other girl, she relaxed knowing she was right. And considering she had to ignore a comment made from her Parents about a nickname she was given, she could just ignore that.

“I’m so sorry for the late notice, it’s just, something came up and I couldn’t find anyone able to take care of her. I’m really sorry for not telling you before but I- I don’t have your phone number so I couldn’t tell you. Eheh. I promise she won’t cause any trouble. Right?” The smaller girl, now back at her Sister’s side, bounced and repeated yes several times.

She looked to her Parents, almost asking them if it was alright, this whole situation caught her slightly off guard, and she momentarily forgot the question was directed at her.

Luckily her Maman was ready.

“Of course its fine, my, your Sister is such a cutie. And what’s your name sweetie?” Her Mother crouched down to make eye level. The girl puffed her chest out before standing straight up.

“My name is Piper Keyne-Hill ma’am, and I am 6 years old” She held one hand up before she looked up.

“Did I do it right?” Rosaniline smiled before bending down to her level as well.

“Do you believe that is the right answer?” Her use of that caused attention to Piper’s hand as the little one looked back, she gasped before proudly extending another finger up.

“There you go” She ruffled her hair as Marinette saw her Mother continue talking with Piper.

And yet… She felt that dread from earlier flee away, seeing Rosaniline interacting with her Sister so fondly brought heat to her cheeks and inside. She just, felt so calm around her.

And that warm smile…

She, kinda wanted her to smile like that to her…

“Marinette?” That broke her out of her trance, she looked over at her Papa who had a confused look.

“Shouldn’t you two start working on the project?”

“Huh? Oh- oh yeah, yes of course the project… Eh, Rosaniline lets go, I’ve got some kid books to keep Piper company” She didn’t mind the weight on her arm, or the way her Parents smiled at her interactions with the cherry haired girl.

She just minded how heavy her heart was pounding for some reason.

.

Marinette never considered her room big, she always found it spacious, it might be due to her always misplacing at least something when she’s in a rush, but she knew where it would be.

Stepping over to her desk draw, she pulls out a bunch of child books, since Nadja always did spring a babysitting job on her, she figured there was no reason to place them somewhere that would be too much of a hassle to keep getting out. So, she kept them closer.

Turning back, she saw the two looking around her room, Piper held so much excitement as Rosaniline wore a smile.

“Woooooow, it’s so pink, Rosalee what type is it?” Tugging at her Sister’s cardigan the older girl smiled.

“There are many different types, so I doubt I know the exact one… But I’d say it was a coral pink” She pattered her head as she too looked over the room, a somewhat reminiscent expression as she takes it all in.

“Mari I’m so jealous, to be able to live in a bakery with all of those magnificent smells around every day, it must be like heaven” Marinette scratched her head, ok- this was all so different, no matter how much she wanted to go back to her usual self, there was always something holding her back. Almost like, if she fell in this trap again, she’d mess it up, before she could be comfortable.

There she goes again, over thinking the situation like before.

No wonder-

“Ahh- it’s a tiger, look look” Piper’s voice brought her out of it as she saw Piper sitting in Rosaniline’s legs.

“Mmhmmn, so, Mari should we get started?” Marinette could only nod before they pulled out some books to get started.

***

‘This was easier when I had to do it on my own’ The bluenette thought, now don’t get her wrong, they weren’t arguing or anything, they just couldn’t exactly agree on a subject together.

When Rosaniline suggested gory fairy tales, she had to physically force herself not to shudder, fortunately the girl opposite her said it was a mere jest, thinking it would’ve been funny to see the teachers face when they spoke about it, but maybe it would be too much.

Rosaniline even joked that they may not have anything in common at all, that did nothing to soothe the young girls’ nerves. She just knew this might not have been the best decision, if they couldn’t find a topic, she knew Bustier would blame her for it, and if Bustier blamed her no doubt the class would as well. And it would just be one more point for them as they’d slowly but surely turn Rosaniline away from her.

It’s not like she would be disappointed or anything, it’s just, she’d rather be right now than in the future with her hopes up.

But, it didn’t help that her feelings were so mixed about this. Why was it she wanted to get to know Rosaniline?

Knock knock.

“Girls, I think you’re due a break now, don’t you?” Marinette was relieved, surely after some food they’ll be able to come up with at least one idea.

“Yes, Mlle Dupain-Cheng, that would be lovely.”

“Now stop that, you can call me Sabine, aw such a polite child you are” She blushed as she rubbed the back of her head.

��Marinette dear, mind if you help me?” Her eyes were confused, her Maman would normally never ask for help, what was so different now?

But not wanting to cause a scene she nodded and proceeded to climb down, just as Piper was moving onto a different type of picture book.

Going over to the kitchen she saw that her Mother had prepared so much food it would’ve looked like a feast, but that was how she was, whenever guests came over you could see more food on a table than a table.

She hoped Rosaniline and Piper had an appetite.

“Is everything alright dear?” She felt her Maman’s hands on her shoulders, it was always reassuring that her Parents did so much to look out for her, even when she pretended to be just fine her Parents would give her time just to be by herself if she needed it and then be there if she wanted to talk.

“Yes Maman, she’s really nice… We just haven’t figured out what topic to do yet.” She laughed nervously as her Mother couldn’t help but give a somewhat serious expression.

“You know, if you at all feel uncomfortable, we can still make up an excuse-” She shook her head.

“No Maman its fine really, if anything we’ll just keep it to the school library… She’s- I don’t know, I can’t explain it, I just feel-”

“Relaxed?” Her Mother finished the sentence for her, she nodded as Sabine thought how glad this girl was making her feel.

“Alright, well then get back up there, you don’t want her thinking you abandoned her?” She nudged her cheek as Marinette pushed her hand gently. She gave her Mum a kiss on the cheek before making her way back up to her room.

She couldn’t explain the feeling much, it was like she was feeling peaceful, a smooth tranquillity around her.

It wasn’t a feeling she had around her older friends, it always seemed like whatever they did was rushed, no time to process it. Or they didn’t let her speak.

Rosaniline did, she let her speak, she listened to her, she made her- feel.

She didn’t want that feeling to go away.

“Piper- I know you like this book, but I don’t think you should be flicking through it.”

“But why? Marilee gave me these. And they look so pretty I want one.” The little one responded, she didn’t demand, she was raised better than that.

“Well, I don’t think she meant to give you this one.” She was confused, wait what book was it?

Her heart stopped as she saw a pink cover-

That- that was her commission book!

She was rushing too much to even notice that she’d given Piper that one book.

Oh god, she was going to see her secret, that she was starting her own commission blog, that she was MDC- that she could tell everyone at Collège Françoise Dupont, and it could ruin her career. That everyone could post lies about her, making nobody trust her and demand refunds, and maybe she’d get taken in by the police- be sent to jail and never have her dream job of-

“Mari? Hey, Mari can you hear me?” She felt warm hands wrap around her own. She could feel herself look up as silver concerned eyes looked back at hers.

She felt another tug at her skirt, looking down to see Piper with her own worried expression.

“Did I make Marilee upset?” It was a simple question that pulled at her heartstrings, she felt tears prickle at her eyes for her overthinking. But she didn’t mean for Piper to be upset, or for Rosaniline to be worried either.

There she went again, overthinking every little thing that she couldn’t account for, why did she have to be this way, why did she have to be so cynical and downright negative.

“Oh no, heavens no Piper, I just- er had something in my eye, yeah. You didn’t do anything Piper, I’m glad you like the books I gave you.” Piper smile grew as she proceeded to drag Marinette over to the books again.

She seemed to be putting on an act though, from what Rosaniline could see. She was panicking over something, why? She didn’t know, she did want to find out but didn’t want to push it. She had a habit of wanting to find out answers, it wasn’t a bad thing, she remembered her Mum say, it’s just sometimes she could be just a teeny bit insensitive about it.

Looking over the scene she saw her little Sister pointing excitedly at the pages of sketched clothing, her saying how much she loved them and all the colours that she used and said how the author was so creative.

Marinette laughed along, her tears faded as she enjoyed Piper’s enthusiasm, almost making a note to definitely make her something- and for Rosaniline of course, it’ll be weird to make it for one and not the other.

And then- an idea struck.

“I know, why don’t we do it about the history of fashion?” The dark-skinned girl spoke up. She saw two heads turn towards her as she grinned. Putting her hands together near her cheeks as she spiralled in her own thoughts.

“I’ve always wanted to learn more about it, to see the transformations going through all the ages. And this could be the perfect time. So, what do you think?” It was a question that seemed as if she could reject it, but it still felt like a trick.

What if she didn’t suggest this as a solution, but for convenience for herself, since now she knew she liked fashion and would make her do all the work, it’s not like it hadn’t happened before, so why did it hurt so much to have her do it?

Did she have any right to object, wouldn’t it seem like she was being way to fussy? They already saw her sketches before, so she couldn’t deny she was a good artist. But then what if the others thought it was her idea?

That she made Rosaniline chose this subject, and get told how selfish to have done so, a disappointing gaze from Bustier, a disapproving gaze from Adrien, she felt her chest tighten up again, oh god, she was overthinking again, why did she have to be like this?

“Hey- hey Mari, we don’t have to if you don’t want… I-er saw you liked videogames; we could always do it about that if you want?” But Mari felt so disappointed in herself, she was being so accommodating to her, why, why for her? She didn’t deserve this.

“B-But Marilee’s so good at drawing, she can really really really draw. I know you can do it.” Piper enthusiastically cheered, she would’ve smiled but couldn’t, not yet, she just had to think through it.

What could she do?

“Piper, not now” Rosaniline slightly scolded, she never liked doing it honestly, but besides her Mother she had the trademark glare that told her to pack it in.

Unfortunately, Piper never did look at her while she was in such an energetic mood.

What could she do?

“Rosalee she’s amazing, she’s the best in the world. Don’t do it about stupid video games.” She tried persuading her Sister to see some sense, in the short time that she had known Marilee, she was pretty much enarmed with her, she found another Sister that needed a confidence boost.

What. Could. She. Do!?

“Piper!- Look, sometimes not everyone wants to show their skills to other people, and we have to respect that, ok?” She crouched down to her level, kids felt less intimidated when you weren’t so tall, besides, Piper didn’t mean anything by it, she was always told to follow her heart, and if she was proud of something, she should show it off for the whole world to see.

What could-

Wait?

Could someone really be so accommodating? Could it really be true? Could all of this be true?

“Aww… Ok Rosalee, sorry Marilee” Piper hugged Marinette’s leg, and even though it felt like she was getting told off, she knew she wasn’t in real trouble.

Or was it a persona?

“I’ll do it.”

If this was a plan, a plan to make her do all the work, then she’ll go along with it. It felt so mean, so immature, so senseless that she still wasn’t trusting her, but she didn’t want to turn Rosaniline away without any evidence, besides, if this was all a trick, then surely it was better this way, she would’ve foreseen it and everything would go back to normal, she’d go off to join the class while she’d be alone once more, maybe they’ll have passing glances and memories of what could’ve been but she wouldn’t leave her here open and out to be in such a vulnerable position.

Not just for her, but for both, she didn’t know what would happen after another heartbreak.

“Huh?”

“I- I don’t mind if we do it about fashion, I mean, only if you want to, I don’t mind teaching you about it, I-I even had some books stored just for this, so I guess its lucky right” A nervous laughter evolved as she looked at anywhere but her.

However, the cherry haired girl wasn’t as convinced.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I guess little Piper just convinced me.” The little girl fist pumped to herself before running along back to her books before the bluenette felt soft hands on her shoulders.

“As long as you want to as well, I… Wouldn’t want to force you or anything” Quick, she had to ease the tension.

“-Psst- Don’t worry so much Rosaniline, c’mon I’ll see where I put those books, also how far do you wanna go back, if we go too far, we might not be able to cover everything. But if we go to a few years back our presentation would just be too small. Maybe we can just go halfway. That reminds me maybe we could have a physical element, I could throw together some pieces of old works together and show them of as we talk- or” Her shoulders were gently grabbed again as she looked at the close proximity she was in, it made her blush just a tad more than she thought she ever could.

“Maybe we could discuss that, over something to eat?” She quickly looked down and remembered the food on the ground, no doubt cold now. She felt guilt come in before seeing her passionate smile.

“Sorry, I just saw how passionate you were about this, I couldn’t bear to stop you, but then I got worried if you’d run out of air, Eheh. Think we can heat the food up?” She nodded, maybe it might be better to eat downstairs after all, now that Marinette knew what topic she- they were doing, they could crack on and complete it earlier than the deadline.

She’d have to get Rosaniline’s phone number of course, just in case they needed to discuss other things but that could wait.

Of course, it could wait.

She was just so happy in that moment, she- she may have really wanted to try and be her friend.

And maybe-

No- she just wanted to continue to be near her, to hold her hand when she’s upset, to help her when she’s had a bad day.

To be… Closer to her, to that warmth.

… Was it selfish of her to want to be near that warmth for longer?

***

Night had fallen upon Paris, but the lone girl on her balcony didn’t mind at all.

Ever since that day, a part of her wished something else would happen.

No- she didn’t want the hero to be hurt again, that’s by far too sadistic to even think about… But she was really excited by all of those events, when she was able to get a breather, there was a rush of adrenaline throwing through her veins, and even if she did want something else to happen, she’d prefer to be out here just to see if she could get a glimpse of the hero again.

It had been a week since it happened, and Marinette could only guess she must have been resting from her… Fight? Was that the right word? Oh well, she must’ve been resting since she hadn’t heard anything about her from the news for a while, she could only hope her wound would heal by professionals instead of her shoddy work. But- she had to realise that she had to hope for the hero’s survival.

For Soliane Rin’s survival.

… She may have read a bit more into her- but it was only out of curiosity, she wasn’t going to gain another obsessive crush over someone famous again, nope, nada, she wasn’t going to fall for those really amazing silver eyes the press had made sure to call grey, but she was sure they were silver.

Wait, no it wasn’t like she looked at them for particularly long or anything, she definitely didn’t get lost in them, she saw a poster of them! Ah- this wasn’t helping. She needed to change the subject immediately!

Clang.

She jumped up instantly, her commissions book that was resting on her lap was now flying through the air! Oh no, she was going to lose everything, crap! Her designs!

A figure, however, flew up to catch them before landing in front of the startled girl.

“I believe these books were trying to plan their escape from you mi Belle” It was her; it really was her! She was-

“You’re alright” Her happiness took over her before she could even register that she had leapt into the arms of the hero of Paris.

She was going to regret this so much.

With her cheeks rosying so much, she jumped back until she fell back onto her chair, apology after apology escaping the girl not daring to look at her face.

‘How embarrassing, how inappropriate, how childish. Why did she have to make a fool out of herself now? In front of the new hero no less? Again!’

“There’s no need for any embarrassment, I was unaware I’d caused you such panic over my recovery, if I’d known you were worried, I would’ve visited a lot sooner.” Ah- she was always so formal with her choice of words. It was great, she was great- wait what?

“But I- didn’t realise you’d wish to see me after my blunder from last time.” That made her perk up, what… What was she talking about?

Soliane’s gaze seemed to be fixated on the ground as she looked so- so frustrated with herself. Why?

“To have failed on the first day as a hero, to have troubled a civilian with help. I can’t thank you enough to have woken you at such a godly hour just for my sake” She bowed her head forward as Marinette couldn’t help but try to make her stop.

“It’s nothing really, I mean I’m sure anyone else would help out a hero like you. I-I mean maybe not everyone else since there are some bad people but I’m sure most will. Not that you don’t need it, I mean you do- don’t I- I’m sorry I’m rambling again” Soliane Rin didn’t appear to hear her as she carried on with her tirade.

“But to not even know who it was that harmed me. I-I don’t deserve to have my title as a hero.” Why? Why was she saying this? She- no she couldn’t be serious.

But that look made it all the more real, she’d seen it so much. Every time she ever looked in the mirror after crying for so long, regret, disappointment, anything and everything negative flashed through her mind and she could tell, see everything, all of it.

And knew it broke her, would break her.

Marinette knew she didn’t have any powers.

She couldn’t shoot lasers from her eyes.

She couldn’t fly.

She couldn’t control objects through her mind.

But- how Mother always said she had a talent for one thing.

Empathy.

She could be so understanding when her mind was so calm, when she wasn’t worrying about what others were thinking of her, when she could see, truly see inside their heart, all of their feelings out on display, and helping them, by being there for them.

For knowing exactly what to say…

It- may not always work, but no superhero comes out of every battle unscathed.

“Please stop” She looked up, but it was still such a pitying look. She could see through her smile, but it felt as if she wasn’t even trying to hide it, like there was no use concealing it.

“You can’t keep blaming yourself for a mistake like that, it’s not fair to you- or to me. Yes, I was scared when I saw you injured, but I’m so glad that you’re here now. You’re still standing. You still want to continue even when you were hurt. I’ve seen just how strong you are, how confident you can be when the world tried to throw its worse at you.” She stepped closer to her, having gotten up from her fallen position.

“So please don’t give up for one mistake,”

She stepped closer…

“Don’t give up when I know you have the strength in you to persist.” She wrapped her arms around her again, and this time she wasn’t so embarrassed about doing it.

She was crying…

She tried to use those words for someone else.

It hadn’t worked… So, she had to believe in anything and everything for it to succeed now, for her.

“You risk your life every day, and yet you never ask for anything. I want to thank you for all that you’ve done, on behalf of Paris, no, the whole world. You’re a real hero Soliane Rin. Please don’t doubt that.” She hugged a bit tighter; she hadn’t meant to get so emotional on her, but maybe that emotion wasn’t just for her.

.

.

It was silent.

Too silent.

Marinette had to hold her breath in anticipation, did- did she go too far? Did she overstep her boundaries again? Did she-

“Ah I see. Thank you, I-I mean, I appreciate your gratitude Marinette” When she looked back, she could see her cheeks were red, she could see her silver eyes look back at her before seeing her own cheeks reddening as well- wait, she was so close! Again!

She jumped back again, not falling this time, thanking the heavens that she wasn’t making a fool out herself as much as usual.

“I must commend your stubbornness my dear. I- I hadn’t imagined you’d have a positive opinion of me after that, I must apologise for making such a rash assumption about you, and for- eh snapping me out of that. I’m thankful to have met such a kind and respectable hero like you.” She bowed her head again as Marinette had to comprehend what had just happened.

It felt awkward, Soliane Rin was blushing a lot, Marinette was blushing like crazy as well.

“Me a hero, what no way. You’re just joking, don’t tell me you hit your head too?” She waved her hands in front of her. She recalled how clumsy she was, how often she’d trip on the stairs to Collège or even when she dropped her tray of pastries on the floor, that one was particularly embarrassing.

However, she was too late to see that Soliane had stopped her smile as Marinette began to panic again.

“No! I didn’t mean hit your head I meant did you crack it- no check it- no I mean, how can I ever be a hero to anything, I’m just me, Marinette. I don’t have any superpowers or anything I’m just an ordinary girl ehehehe” She felt her hand taken by the hero again, her heart stopping for a moment before jumping to x2, she couldn’t believe she was holding her hand again.

“Just because I wear a mask and costume doesn’t make me a hero. It’s my ideals and thoughts for the people. Marinette, you may not have powers, or a hero name. But you can be a hero still. After all, All that is needed for the prevail of malevolence is that individuals concede defeat.” Marinette was shocked, she just- wow, that was cool. And… So sweet. To say that, about anyone, about her. Even if she didn’t fully believe it at first, she’d be sure to keep those words very close to her heart.

The bluenette smiled back, before they both looked over her balcony and over Paris, they share a moment just looking out, the silence was comforting to them as some time passed.

There was a question that may have crossed her mind at one point, she felt guilty for taking so much time out of her day- night- schedule? Oh well, she had to ask just one little thing.

Marinette fiddling with her fingers, she took a deep breath.

“S-So do you have to do a patrol or-” Soliane looked up surprised before checking something around her wrist, she laughed nervously before turning back.

“Huh- oh yes, unfortunately I won’t be able to stay longer, however it would be even more unbefitting of me to avoid my job any further” She wanted to deny what she said was true, but saw her giggle so slightly, knowing it was a small joke, she lightened up as Soliane Rin bows again and flies off from her balcony railings bidding her adieu.

With her hand resting where her heart was beating, faster than usual, faster then whenever she was late for class. Faster than-

Oh

Oh

Oh no.

No no no! Not again, how did she not realise it sooner?

How!?

This familiar feeling.

Why did it come back?

And why did she want it to stay!?

***

I hope you enjoyed it.

Anyway, I’m willing to take a bunch off prompts for Rosann and Mari on date nights/doing couple things, whether you want some added salt from the class is up to each requester, I may turn a few away if I either feel uncomfortable or simply not able to write it, these prompts will come out randomly, I have no structure to anything. To submit, I’ll allow for the idea to be within any time frame, i.e. when they first meet, to being friends, to being a couple. I do love angst although I’ll be unsure how to make it work when it should be a ton off fluff stuff. If you have any questions don’t feel afraid to ask, I might have to clarify some points. I’ll be ordering the prompts, and stating when they come in the main story, what you would’ve need to have read before, if it contained any spoilers for certain chapters and any trigger warnings, although you may need to state what might be triggering as sometimes, I too get confused on what I need to state, if anyone can do that then that’s alright.)

Even though I like a Saltinette, sometimes I still wanna see a different perspective of her, an anxious, guilt-ridden, cautious, mess like this version. I just think it’ll be interesting to basically rewrite Marinette’s character. Instead of this sassy overconfident one in most fanfic’s I’ve now changed the status quo. Haha.

And I believe I’ve taken a somewhat realistic approach to Marinette trying to trust someone else, I didn’t want to just rush into it. However, I do think it’s a bit different with Soliane Rin because she is a hero, and I think Marinette could trust her a lot easier than Rosaniline.

Also did you know that Majestia’s quote was a straight rip off of Edmund Burke’s?

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good people do nothing.

Yeah...

Cya next time.

Note: Please tell me if I should add anything else to the card, there will be one of these cards for all 15 chapters, however, because I have uni work all updates will be slower because I really need to focus on the uni stuff, then I might be able to upload quicker. They also may change in the future because I can never stop adding stuff.

[beclynn-herondale]

Maybe things can Change

This is extremely long and is probably all over the place and doesn't make sense, but hopefully my point of it comes across, I want to see things between Jocelyn and Jace improve, but I also wanted to address a little what I imagine Jace had to deal with after people found out he was Stephen and Céline's son along with being raised by Valentine, also to some Jace may seem out of character but this is the Jace I always saw.

Clary had asked Jace if he wanted to go to dinner with her and her parents tonight, Jace had gone a couple times before but hadn't been able to shake off the stares and feelings he got from Jocelyn, Jace had always been good at sensing others feelings most of the time, and Jocelyn wasn't hard to read when it came to him, he knew she didn't like him and couldn't blame her, but Clary was always trying so hard to make everyone get along and be happy, he wished he could help make it happen for her, but there were some things that wouldn't change

He counted many times he heard her saying 'what if he's like Valentine?'

He couldn't help but flinch when he heard her say it, she hadn't known he was listening, many were comparing him to Valentine or to Stephen, or on the very rare occasion to his mother, they would say 'he may be crazy just like his mom, I imagine that is something that is passed on' , they would also say 'he'll probably find someone else after he's done with Clary Fairchild, I mean his father did with his first wife'. People would also whisper 'Valentine's daughter' about Clary, she is nothing but good and she definitely isn't Valentine, it infuriates him when people treat her like that.

He didn't care that they were insulting him, he cared that they were insulting Clary and his Mother, and Amatis, he wasn't very fond of Amatis and didn't know her all that well, but that didn't mean she deserved to be talked about like that, and while he knows his father messed up and really could have been a better man that things were complicated and if Valentine saw through you he could play you like a puppet on a string, and sadly many were played like puppets, him being one of them

And what sucked was that everyone was always acting like he was the embodiment of his parents or Valentine, wasn't he his own fucking person?

Alec would get so upset when he heard people saying this stuff but Jace told him to let it be, but was returned with "you always stand up for me and protect me when I tell you to let it be, and you want me to not protect you?" Alec was always the big brother and Jace loved him for it, Izzy would try to fight people and he had to hold her back on occasion, even Simon would give people a glare, Magnus would give them looks as well probably on Alec's behalf. but there were some things you couldn't change,

Like how his mother Céline would only ever be looked at as a disgrace by many, she would only be seen as weak and pathetic, Jace didn't see her like that, he heard some stories from Maryse on rare occasion when she did speak of Céline that she was a good Shadowhunter and was a nice girl, who didn't interact much with others and preferred to be on her own, he understood that, he liked being alone sometimes too, Luke would say things from time to time but it was never much it always seemed like she was just someone who was not to be talked about, that's how many are with the topic of people with mental health issues or in her case suicide, but if only they knew she hadn't actually killed herself maybe she wouldn't be looked at in that way anymore, he had his own issues, he hid his well enough though that no one really knew, he knew his mother had them too but was never helped and it only got worse for her, He wished things could have been different for her, but wondered if she lived in fear of people finding out as well.

He wondered if he got them from her like people say or if he just slowly got them because of events from his childhood, but he also didn't feel he went through enough in his childhood that he would have gotten them, or did he?, he wasn't sure and was often to afraid to find out, he was actually afraid of something.

Sometimes when you walk past a room full of people whispering about you it's all just too much, how do you deal with it all when your thoughts are already enough?

He sat up on his and Clary's bed frustrated with his mind again, he did this often and it made him so frustrated with himself, he could spiral for hours and get to a point where he was sick, he started catching himself lately before that happened, he thinks too much about what other people think of him

He plays this person on the outside who says he doesn't care but that's so far from the truth, he does care, he cares too much and that's the problem, that's why there's gotta be a mask where he can pretend and make jokes and be the light-hearted guy who is sarcastic and thinks he's the best, that was the person he had to play and it was odd how slowly it became a part of him til he saw who he was in Clary's eyes and now he is that person around her and the people he loves

It was odd always being what others wanted, he thought one time is the 6 year old Jace even there anymore or did he disappear a long time ago, but he sees that Jace in Clary's eyes, she was his clearity.

He decided he should go, got Clary, he would rather be uncomfortable than see her upset

At that moment she walked into their room, Jocelyn had not been excited when Clary told her she was moving into the Institute, Clary told her she would have her own room, though her and Jace pretty much share one and they call it their bedroom, Clary told her mom that so she wouldn't flip out as much, Clary was the one who insisted she stay each night in here, Jace wanted her to of course but was afraid Jocelyn would find out, but now he wakes up everyday next to Clary and he doesn't know how to sleep without her there now, he always slept peacefully with her there, it was like his demons knew she would fight them off.

"So do you know if you want to come tonight?" She asked. Than added "No pressure and if you want to stay you can."

"I'll go," he said to her.

Her eyes lit up a little

"Well we better get ready," she said, as she walked towards their closet and pulled out a summer dress

He headed there too to put on nice jeans and a nice shirt, he picked out the floral one Clary got him and said he would look amazing and sexy in, he laughed at the memory

------

When they got there Luke and Jocelyn were already at the table waiting, Luke waved them over, and they both sat down

"hello sweetie, how are you?" Jocelyn said to Clary

"I am good, mom," she said, with that look that said your are being too formal

"and Jace, how have you been?" Luke asked

"fine, you?" He asked

"good" Luke answered

Jace knew the awkwardness and uncomfortable feeling was already setting in, he just had to get through dinner

The waiter came and took their order, he didn't order anything big cause he didn't have much of an appetite today, after dinner they went for a walk in the park

"Jace, can we talk?" asked Jocelyn

Jace was shocked, but he gathered his words together quickly

"yeah," he said, he wasn't sure what she wanted to talk about, he just hoped it wasn't about how he was like Valentine or how he isn't the person for Clary, he couldn't deal with that right now.

"come sit on the bench with me," she said

He gave her a suspicious look

"Just come sit," she said looking a little annoyed

He did, and he felt very tense, "so what do you want to tell me?" He asked

"do you know why I am the way I am towards you?" She asked

"no, I don't," he said with anxiety in his voice

"It's because you look so much like your mom, and I know it's petty of me but when I look at you I see Céline, I see the girl who took Stephen away from Amatis, I see things shattering and falling apart, but I now realize that isn't fair to you, but I can't look past it for some reason, because you don't just look like her, you also have so much of her in your personality, Céline had that fierceness that you have, she had those same soft eyes and you wanted to protect her, you remind me of her in many ways," she said and stopped for a minute

He hoped it wasn't gonna be something about how his mother was a bad person or was crazy, cause he was tired if hearing that.

"what are you trying to say exactly?" He asked

"I am saying you are so much like your mother sometimes, and something that did make me like her a little was how when she was pregnant with you and came to hang out with me and Maryse when Jonathan and Alec were toddlers, I saw how much she already loved you, she would always have her hand on her stomach and I knew she would love you so much, Céline didn't really have anyone and I think she thought now she finally had someone to give love to and to be loved by, and I do feel sorry that she never got to be a mother, and she did love Stephen and he cared for her and loved her in a way, just not the way he loved Amatis," she said

"I know he told me in a letter he left me," Jace said, and didn't know why he told Jocelyn that

"you don't know much about them, do you?" Asked Jocelyn

"no, and sometimes I don't know if I want to," he replied

"sometimes we have to take the horrors with the good," she told him, "your parents made mistakes but they did have good in them, no matter how much I may have not liked Céline, she did have good in her, and Stephen did as well, they were just thrown down the wrong path, and didn't turn back when they could have, I know because I did the same," she said

"why are you telling me all this?" He asked

"because if you'll let me, I will start to tell you things about your parents," she said as she looked at him waiting for his answer

"I'd like that," he said, and it took him back to a time when he was ten, when he was heading to the Lightwoods and Jem had told him about parabatai and he said he would like one, he wasn't sure why saying that made him think of that time, but it did, he said it when he was really interested he noticed. "But why the change of heart? I thought you didn't like me," he said

"Clary talked to me today and told me it isn't fair that I am judging you so harshly and don't know much about you, I love my daughter but sometimes I think she's more stubborn than me," Jocelyn said

"She is one of the most stubborn people I know, but it's partly why I love her so much," he said and realized he said it without thinking

She looked at him with a softer look now

"She also told me you aren't going anywhere and that you are the person she has chosen to love so that I better get use to you being around," she said with a fond smile for her daughter

"Yeh that sounds like Clary," he said with a smile

"She loves you so much, and I can see you love her just as much, when you two were first together it scared me cause I didn't want her getting hurt by love like I did," Jocelyn said

"Jocelyn, I won't ever hurt Clary, I promise, if I did believe me I'd want her to find someone else—" he said but was interrupted

"I know you won't and it's why I am going to try to get to know you, you love my daughter as much as I do, if not possible more and that shocks me, you don't need to keep defending yourself anymore, I have been unfair and have made you feel terrible, and I suppose even as old as I am I still have growing to do," she said

"We are always growing, no matter how old we are, we never stop, that's the thing about Mundanes, Downworlders and us Nephilim, it doesn't matter what we are or how long we live, we are always changing and growing, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse," he answered and was surprised by his own answer

"I suppose your right," she said

The old Jace would have said 'of course I am' but he wasn't that Jace anymore and he did mean what he said

"So will you be coming to dinner more often again?" She asked

"I will," he said, "we better catch up with Clary and Luke."

"yes," she said

and they walked together towards Clary and Luke, she was telling him about some of the things the circle got up to in the academy before they started doing the horrible things they did.

And he didn't say anything just listened.

——————

"So I saw you talking to my mom," Clary said, "what were you talking about if you don't mind me asking."

"she was telling me about my mom and dad, Stephen and Céline," he said and looked her in the eyes trying to read them

"oh, was it good or no?" She asked

"it was terrible, and she didn't say the usual things, although she did say that someone told her that I am not going anywhere," he said and gave her slight smile

"I am tired of seeing you uncomfortable, and you aren't, Jace I love you, you are my person and my mom needs to understand that," she said

"I know and I only love you more for it, you are always standing up for me, and I don't always know how to tell you how much that means to me," he said

"I know, you don't have to say anything, I know how much it means to you, your eyes always tell me," she said and looked at him with love in her eyes

"I know," said Jace, "and your mom offered to tell me more about them if I'm interested."

"are you going to?" She asked

"I don't want Maryse to think that I don't appreciate her being a mom to me all these years but I do want to know about my birth mother," he said

"I think Maryse will understand, and she knows that you look to her as a mom, and it's only natural for you to wonder hon," Clary said

"yeah, I just don't want to disappoint her," he said

"you won't," she said as she walked over and hugged him

There was something about being hugged by someone so small that made him feel comforted in an odd way, he kissed the top of her head

"now let's get ready for bed, I haven't hardly seen you today, with dealing with things," she said amusingly

"miss me that much huh?" He aaid

"don't push it Herondale," she said teasingly

"you know I like to tho," he said jokingly

"seriously come on," she said and pulled him towards the bed.

And they talked and snuggled and just enjoyed being in each other's arms.

Jace supposed he would take Jocelyn up on her offer, after all he wasn't trying to replace anyone, he was just curious, he didn't want to know much when he was 16 but now he did and he felt he owed it a little to hear the stories of his parents, even if it wasn't all going to be pretty, but life wasn't always pretty he thought.

Maybe some things do change.

Tagging @khaleesiofalicante and @my-archerboy cause I said I would tag you in stuff but haven't been 🙈

[magnusbanewastaken]

WHAT TO BUY THE SHADOWHUNTER WHO HAS EVERYTHING (And Who You're FINALLY Officially Dating... And More)

SUMMARY: In compliance with our roleplaying group's winter holidays special activity, following the prompt: “Someone has just become fabulously wealthy and is picking out gifts for their family.”

RATING: G

CHARACTER/S: Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood, Max Lightwood-Bane

TAG/S: rpgroup, writing challenge, romance, winter holidays, christmas

also @ ao3

Last minute Christmas gift-shopping was always a terrible idea. Either things would be out of stock by that point or nothing much of worth would be left on the shelves. Not to mention the surprising long lines that still exist that late into the holidays. Not to mention having to deal with ill-tempered customers in line with you and the frustrated staff who had to be stuck at work instead of spending the last few days before Christmas preparing for their own celebrations at home. But that's not always the case, not if you were like Magnus who knew exactly where to go.

Everywhere you looked in the Liberty Mall were a festoon of lights, ribbons, tinsels, shiny ornaments, and faux evergreens decked along escalators, archways, and guardrails. A massive Christmas tree that reaches up to almost the third floor of the mall, stood tall at the center of the atrium. This was the place to be in Manhattan for Magnus's quick, at-the-very-last minute shopping spree. All the shops were still open despite it being Christmas Eve already but there weren't a lot of people there compared to other stores and strips around Manhattan around this time in the afternoon. The reason for that most likely had something to do with the stores there being lavishly-priced luxury stores. And that was most unfortunate for him since he liked the attention and stares he'd get for the captivating outfits he usually wore.

Today he had on black leather pants, a studded black belt that looped around his waist twice, and a blood red wool overcoat open over a white wool deep V-neck sweater. A pair of gold thin rimmed sunglasses sat neatly over his coiffed hair and his face was subtly slathered with silver bits of glitter just over his eyelids and out towards the outer corners of his eyes. At least there were still some store managers to dazzle, he thought, perhaps he'd even get discounts as it sometimes often happens to him. Not that he needed any discounts. He had a perfectly wonderful yet complicated relationship with money that never really failed him even at times when he'd end up with nothing but the shirt on his back. He could get himself anything he wanted and anything anyone else wanted. Which is how he ended up going for a last minute shopping spree in the first place.

He didn't have to be there. Personally Magnus wouldn't really bother with shopping "traditionally" for anything. He could just conjure up anything from somewhere and compensate for them later, that is if he remembers to do so, and it was more reliable than online shopping. But now that he was practically sharing his life with Alec, some changes with his lifestyle had to be made. His roguish shopping habits weren't something Alec particularly liked leaving the warlock no choice but to oblige.

He sauntered through the marbled floors of Liberty Mall, going in store after store to pick out presents for tonight's party. It was a gathering at the Institute, mostly a Shadowhunter event despite other Downworlders like him being invited and despite Christmas not exactly traditionally celebrated among the Nephilim. It was an excuse to have a party for the holidays and a way to have their growing families gather together for a night. He wasn't in charge of organising this party, a mistake and a tragedy for them if you'd ask Magnus. He would've done it for free if they asked but the other people who aren't his friends and family that will be there were still predisposed into thinking Magnus would have turned it into a Downworlder rave. At least it was Isabelle helming the celebration, he could count on her to pull off something he would still enjoy despite the restraints of the ever-so-uptight Nephilim traditions.

It was easy enough to think of gifts for the women in his life since fashion was always the answer. He went to every big-named fashion houses at Liberty and was immediately entertained by store attendants, likely believing he might be someone important or famous with the way Magnus always carried himself. And if not that, it was the wads of cash he'd fan and flaunt to their faces, Magnus always wanted to do that. Isabelle was easy to give gifts to since she was always more than willing to try out anything Magnus recommends and her taste and style was to his liking. He simply got her anything he thought would look good on him if he was a woman. Maryse, much like her daughter was somewhat easier to give gifts to. Some jewelry here, designer coats and handbags here and there. They didn't always see eye to eye but ever since his little blueberry, Max, came around, Maryse had softened, even Robert too. She'd often invite him over just to chat, although he was certain she just wanted to spoil little Max. But it did give him the opportunity to get close to her and know her well which also pleased Alec.

Lily was another person he found to be easy to gift to, she'd accept almost anything fancy he gave her, even the not-so-fancy ones he'd sometimes trick her into believing were fancy. Clary on the other hand was slightly more difficult as to this day she still had little to no fashion sense and would deny him the opportunity to enlighten her about the latest fashion trends. Even Maia was easier to bend, provided it came along with a couple of board games and video games. But that won't stop him from trying. He didn't want to force Clary into things that would be uncomfortable for her even if they are trendy. He didn't want to change her, he only wanted to open her eyes to different possibilities than just sticking with something safe and casual. Good thing Jocelyn wasn't as difficult as her daughter. He got her some clothes and jewelry but of course he had to give her the finest brushes and paints as well as coffee table books on art. He was certain Clary would be jealous of them but she'll have to up her fashion game first before he gives her anything she actually wanted.

Men were difficult to give gifts to, he thought. If they weren't anything like him who had a taste for all the pretty and stylish things in the world, he wouldn't be enjoying even thinking about what to give them. Raphael and Ragnor were the exceptions since their gifts were almost exclusively joke gifts and expensive ones at that. But, well, it wasn't possible to do that anymore. He completely rushed through gifts for Jace, Simon, Luke, and Robert and got them simple, not-as-thoughtful as the rest gifts. A set of throwing knives from Japan and a set of Scandinavian hunting knives were for Jace. Simon gets to inherit some of the rare comic books in his possession that were still in mint condition. He threw in a couple of the latest computer games in there just to say he actually bought him something. Luke also gets a set of first editions of books he had owned for centuries; he figured he wouldn't mind that they were used books. But he also got him some new clothes and shoes. Magnus appreciated his alternative, scruffy vibe but he can't wear plaid and worn out boots every single day of the week, that's just preposterous, especially when he has to stand next to a lovely woman such as Jocelyn. And for Robert he got him a pair of watches and a set of fashionable ties, dads liked those kinds of things, right?

He also threw in mugs with designs that he thought would fit for everyone like "Nothing Less Than Seven Inches" for Isabelle. "World's Best Grandma and Grandpa" for Maryse and Robert respectively, "Life Is Short And So Am I" for Clary, "I'm A Vampire Let Me Suck You Off" for Lily, things like that. Nobody likes getting mugs, especially not for Christmas, but he had already prepared expensive gifts for them, surely they wouldn't mind the mugs.

He was empty-handed again after sending away the novelty mugs he got for everyone. His loft must look like Santa's Workshop by now with the amount of gifts he sent back there, he was hoping to get back and do some wrapping before Alec and Max comes home. He looked out the glass panes of the side of the mall to see that the sky was still a bluish gray of daylight, and the horizon was just turning into a faint shade of purple. It's only been a couple of hours but going through all those stores felt like a lengthy ordeal. Next year he wouldn't be so generous, he thought, he'll only do it again in ten years or twenty.

Now all that's left was his own little family. Alec and Max. Max and Alec. My family. He kept repeating the thought in his mind. Even if it's been years since he and Alec were together and well over a year since Max came into their lives, it was still a bit odd for him to think that this was all real if he was being honest, but it was all real. Being with Alec was real. Having Max with them was real. He doesn't really show it but even Magnus was still trying to get used to the idea.

Max was not difficult to think of a gift for, what was difficult was restraining himself from spoiling him; Max was such a cute baby it was really difficult not to do so. If Magnus had it his way he would've spoiled him to death, even Maryse was quite eager to do just that, but Alec wasn't going to have any of that, and he was right on this one. Still, it was Christmas, so he got Max some stuffed toys and a rideable toy car that looked very much like the black Maserati he and Alec rode through France last summer. He hoped for the best that Alec would let this slide becuase Max would look really cute in it, provided he didn't float away with it.

Alec was the last person he would be getting a gift for. Magnus could have made an excuse for himself that this was because he saved the best for last but really Alec was the first person he tried to think of a gift for, the moment he woke up this morning to be exact, and since then he hasn't settled on what to actually give him. Magnus wondered how you could love someone so passionately and even know that someone all too well for quite some time, yet you still find yourself having difficulties with thinking of what to gift said someone.

Magnus took respite in a garden cafe on the first floor of the Liberty Mall. He had one of their special winter lattes that were sweet and minty cool to taste while still thinking of a gift for Alec. He knew he couldn't ask anyone else for their opinions, he learned that lesson the last time he tried to think of a gift for Alec on his eighteenth birthday. He could always ring up Isabelle but he figured she would still be busy with organising things for tonight. Scrolling through articles online on his phone didn't help much either since they found them all too tacky and incredibly heteronormative for his liking. He sighed and put down his phone and took a sip from his latte.

His eyes lingered on the stuffed toys sitting inside the toy car he recently bought for Max just sitting next to his chair. He hadn't sent it away to his loft yet since seeing it gave him some sort of comfort. Looking at the car closely made him remember of his time in France with Alec again. That was the time where they finally managed to redo their European trip without having anything to do with demons and cultists. He has been in and out of France far too many times since the Belle Époque but that summer felt like a brand new experience with Alec. Magnus showed him all the places he had fallen in love with in the quaint countrysides of France and Alec showed him how to fall in love with them all over again. He told Alec about how he felt about that and Alec told him how much he looked forward to seeing the world with him. That was a promise that made Magnus believe that what they had was something for the long run, that he would be loving Alec for a long time. And that's when it hit him. He finally figured out what to give Alec.

Magnus's loft never looked so bright and festive unless it was because of his parties. It has been a long time since he last threw one and it was before Max came along. Tonight, his living room was ornamented by the dreamy and warm hues of gold, beige, cream, and white. The usual colours of reds, greens, yellows, and blues were much too gaudy for Magnus's vision of Christmas that year. The only greens in sight were the garlands lined all over the place and the tree sitting at the center of the room, swathed with gold and silver tinsels and ornaments as well as strings of fairy lights. Sitting by the floor and standing about as high as half of the tree were the presents he had bought earlier in the day. Magnus had already changed into the suit he would be wearing tonight. Alec had warned him that he might get looks from people since he would be wearing white when it's not a funeral. Not that Alec really minded but thought he should let him know anyway. Magnus thought that would be ridiculous, he'd be wearing chanterelle beige not white and he would very much like to get looks from people. And that was that, no one could tell Magnus how to dress anyway.

He was surrounded by lights and sparks of blue as he did his magic, as he was still in the middle of boxing and wrapping the last batch of presents when he heard the door swing open. Without pause, he looked over the side of the tree and looking past the mountain of presents to find Alec with an astonished expression on his face. He was also already in his outfit for tonight which was something he asked Magnus to pick for him. He wore dark brown dress pants and brown overcoat over a cozy beige turtleneck sweater that let him look somewhat formal without sacrificing comfort. He would have just worn something semi-formal but knowing Magnus, he wouldn't have let him look too simple next to him. Alec was carrying a little blueberry of a baby in his right arm, wearing a little black and white onesie suit. The little blue warlock was looking far more cheery than Alec at the sight of the presents. Or perhaps he just had a nice mix of milk in his bottle that day, Magnus couldn't quite tell with Max sometimes.

"Did you just rob the North Pole?" asked Alec.

"Of course not! And even if I did, I'd say it's fair game, that jolly old bastard owes me," Magnus just finished tying the final bow on the last gift in the pile when he walked over to where Alex and Max was.

"...Santa Claus is real?"

"Absolutely, and he's a warlock too. I thought that was common knowledge," said Magnus then planted a kiss on Max's temple.

Alec was not always sure whether Magnus was making things up especially when it comes to warlock things and his warlock friends but that wasn't what's important right now.

"You paid for all this, right?"

"I did and here are the receipts to prove it," with a quick snap of a finger there appeared a clipboard of receipts popping up from a blue swirl of light, floating right in front of Alec's line of sight.

Magnus spoke almost too proudly about legally acquiring his gifts. Alec had been persistent in guilting him with the things he'd conjure from somewhere without paying after all. Magnus picked up Max from Alec's grasp before Alec started flipping through the receipts. Then suddenly a gasp was heard.

"By the Angel, Magnus! Twenty thousand dollars just for clothes?" Alec asked, having a more audible and greater shock than the one he had when he came in earlier causing Max to look up at Magnus as if he could understand and was looking at him for answers.

"They were Dior," Magnus simply explained.

"Seventeen thousand dollars for a watch?" Alec continued flipping.

"Two watches actually, believe me that's already cheap, I hope your father doesn't mind."

"How could you even afford all this?" He asked as he still continued flipping but should really be stopping at this point.

"The painting I sold off the other day remember? It was worth millions apparently,"

"Millions?" Alec looked at Magnus with an even greater expression of disbelief than when he started flipping through the receipts.

"This is why I don't want to talk money with you, you look like you're about to faint," Magnus spoke calmly as he held Alec's face in his free hand hoping it would calm Alec down as well.

"Remind me not to ask next time," Alec nodded then sighed. Magnus looked at him, a bit of worry evident on his face but Alec gave him a reassuring smile, "As long as you actually paid for things."

"Yes, dad, I don't do that thing anymore," Magnus quipped with a smile and dipped in for a kiss on Alec's cheek.

"How are we getting all this to the Institute?"

"Darling."

"Right, magic. Almost forgot. Well, we better go ahead, Izzy will kill me if we're late."

"Wait, I'm sure Izzy won't mind us being fashionably late. I want to give you your present right now," said Magnus then passed Max back to Alec's arms.

"You look serious," Alec noted as he let Max nestle comfortably in his right arm.

"Just nerves. I'm not sure why when I know you wouldn't say no."

"No?"

A whirl of blue light appeared in the palm of Magnus's hand. When the glowing light dissipated, underneath it was a small red velvet box. Magnus could see Alec was already too stunned to say anything. He stared at the box in the warlock's hand for a moment and then back at Magnus. His brilliant blue eyes seemed like they were glistening as their eyes met and Magnus felt his heart warm up at the sight of Alec's smile.

Magnus opened the box and cushioned inside were a pair of rings. One had a round ocean blue diamond set in an intricate basket of flame filigrees, setting on top of a half-braided white gold band. The other ring was a bit bigger in size with an emerald cut blue diamond framed with blue melee diamonds.

"You paid for this too, right?" Alec finally spoke, Magnus almost laughed.

"Darling."

"Sorry, nerves."

"It's my promise to you, my love," said Magnus. "I still stand by what I said the last time we spoke about it, that I won't have you marry me until you, until we, can marry in gold. You deserve nothing less and I can't have you settle for less just because you chose to be with me. I want these rings to be a promise and a reminder for us everyday when we might glance upon it that this is all real. Just as real as any other Shadowhunter unions. That the kind of love we have is not worth anything lesser just because it's a little bit different than what Nephilim traditions dictate.

"So, Alexander Gideon Lightwood, if I may ask,” Magnus got down on one knee and looked up at the two loves of his life, first to Max and then to Alec, "Will you promise to stand by me until we can marry in gold?"

"Absolutely. Yes. It's a promise," Alec was holding back tears as he said that. Max might have felt it too since he started blubbering things and patting his little hands on Alec's face as if to comfort him.

Magnus picked out the ring with the round cut blue diamond then reached out for Alec's left hand. He slipped the white gold band in his ring finger then looked up into Alec's beautiful blue eyes with his heart full of love. Alec took out the other ring from the box with his free hand as Magnus raised his left hand in front of him. The ring sat perfectly around Magnus's left ring finger and suddenly it was the most priceless ring he had, putting all the other rings he wore to shame. They both leaned in for a kiss, it was sweet and tender and Magnus felt the warmth of Alec's love between his lips. But Max had other plans when he decided to break it off and hit Magnus on the side of his head.

"Alright you little smurf, we're going, we're going," he smiled as he ruffled the head of the little blue warlock.

"Oh, right, Alec," Magnus raised his hand and behind the blue glow of smoke surrounding his hand, he conjured up what looked to be like car keys. He handed it to Alec and he immediately recognized the logo etched on its body.

"Did you rent this just for tonight? Can't we just Portal through?"

"You know I don't trust Portal-ing with the baby," Magnus replied. "And no, it's not rented, it's yours."

"No way. Magnus, I can't—" but Magnus cut him off with a kiss.

"Darling, no more arguments before a party," said Magnus as he pulled away from Alec. He then took Max from him and carried him in his arms. "I don't want us to look stressed when we waltz in there. We have the image of a perfectly perfect family to rub in people's faces."

Alec was still a bit dumbfounded about everything that just happened. All those surprises in one night seemed to be too much for the Shadowhunter. But Magnus liked it whenever he leaves Alec dumbfounded.

"Now come along, Alexander, I don't want us to be later than fashionably late," Magnus was already out the door and was being playful with Max who was giggling his little heart out. "My little blueberry must steal the show, yes you will, you're going to be just like your papa when you've grown."

Alec eventually broke out from his daze. He followed them out and went on their way to the Institute.

The party had already started by the time they rolled in the Institute grounds in the sleek black Maserati GT Convertible Magnus had just given him. Though the streets were lined with snow, luckily it wasn't snowing that evening so they were able to ride the car with the top down. Alec might have wanted to argue with Magnus about it earlier but driving it now let him warm up to the idea of owning it. Max seemed to have enjoyed the ride as well as he sat on Magnus's lap in the back of the car. Everything seemed to be going smoothly on its own that Isabelle had the time to come out and meet with them. Simon was with her of course and Jace and Clary followed too when they heard that Magnus, Alex, and Max were on their way. But it was really just an excuse for them to be able to leave the party even for a moment. Parties really weren't the same without Magnus in it.

Clary immediately walked over to Magnus who was carrying Max in one arm. Max was still bouncy and lively as he wrapped his hands around Clary's finger and patting his other hand on her head. Jace was in awe of the car that his parabatai drove and recognized it was the same one Alec kept talking about when they got back from their European redo trip last summer. Jace nearly flipped when Alec told him it was his Christmas gift and even Simon who wasn't exactly a car guy was impressed by it. The car conversation was cut when Isabelle broke in to reprimand Alec and Magnus for arriving late but immediately had a change of heart when the two showed off their rings. Isabelle practically leapt in to hug her brother and so did Clary with Magnus. They all said their congratulations but no one could say they were surprised. With the way things are between Magnus and Alec it was just the natural progression of things but it was still something nice to see especially on Christmas Eve.

As Magnus had expected and have willed to happen, there were a lot of eyes on him as he walked inside the Institute with Alec holding his hand and Max nestled in his other arm. No one would dare state for too long but he noticed the side glances and whispers as they walked through. Whether they were bad or good whispers he didn't particularly care, it boosted his ego pretty well either way.

He and Alec approached Maryse and Robert first who were in the middle of a conversation with some of the Blackthorns. Maryse was quick to ask for Max when they got close which Magnus obliged to and passed his little blueberry into his grandma's arms. It was Alec who excused his parents for a moment and brought them aside to show them their engagement rings. Maryse looked like she was getting overwhelmed that Robert had to take Max from her while she hugged Alec tightly. Like the others, they weren't entirely surprised by it but the rings really did make all the difference.

When all was finally said and done, Magnus conjured up the mountain of presents that were sitting back in his living room. The presents were all lined up around the base of the Christmas tree for his friends and family to open up later when the other guests have left. He made sure to conjure up the gifts in the homes of the others who weren't able to make it there that night like Jocelyn and Luke who decided to stay in together. As well as Maia and Lily who had hosted a different kind of party for the werewolf pack and vampire clans.

At the Beth Israel Hospital, Catarina finally had time to take a break from cheering up the kids who were stuck there for Christmas. She sat on her own in the breakroom having a snack and some coffee using a mug that said "Why So Blue?". She was on her phone to check the messages she couldn't read earlier and most of them were typical holiday greetings. The one that stood out and brought a smile to her face was a photo greeting of Magnus and Alec showing their rings and Max floating on his own next to them with the caption, "Happy Holidays from the Lightwood-Banes".

[carmenlire]

Perfect Crime

Part 6 of the Mafia AU series

read on ao3

Alec is acting weird.

Jace watches his brother as he reads something on his phone, sees the little smile that curls around the edges of his mouth, the way the lines of tension bleed out of his shoulders for the few heartbeats it takes to type a reply to whatever was on the screen.

Trying to remember the last time Alec looked so free takes more effort than Jace would like to admit. Definitely before Robert was murdered and certainly before Alec earned his own first kill. That was over three years ago now and the truth is, Jace has become used to Alec’s constant frowning, to his surly attitude and the way he’s grown into himself since he became the leader of one of the biggest crime syndicates in New York.

Alec’s come into his own. It fills Jace with equal parts pride and worry to see the way Alec no longer seems to shrink when talking to his men but instead stands tall and uncompromising as he gives orders with every confidence that they���ll be carried out to the letter.

He makes decisions and they are right far more often than not. His punishments are meted out swiftly and without remorse and Jace has lost count of how many men Alec has killed.

There’s so much blood on his own hands, too, that Jace knows will never wash away.

Things are different lately, though. Alec Lightwood, self-professed workaholic, has started disappearing a couple times a week. An hour here, an afternoon there, and when Jace looks at his brother’s calendar, all he sees is a time written in his messy scrawl.

No place, no clue as to who he’s meeting. Just a block of time that Alec is otherwise occupied.

Now, Jace would like to think that he’s a great brother, an even better second in command. While he doesn’t go around advertising it, he also considers himself a great people person in all the ways that helps him carry out his job and keep Alec on an even keel.

If Jace didn’t know better, he’d think Alec has found someone else to temper his edges.

When he thinks about it, it’s both appallingly obvious and obviously appalling. Alec hasn’t shown an interest in anyone ever. There have never been schoolboy crushes, lingering looks, wrinkled shirts or faded marks or other dead giveaways. The thought that his brother had managed to find someone for himself now of all times, when he’s working sixteen hour days and is far more used to the shadows than the light makes Jace want to shake himself for entertaining such foolish thoughts.

But then he reconsiders. He thinks about the way Alec’s been carrying himself lately, with a confidence and light that he’s never seen before. There are his disappearances that he never mentions or even alludes too-- Jace wouldn’t have even noticed probably if he hadn’t gone looking for Alec one afternoon and hadn’t been able to find him.

He hadn’t been at any of his usual haunts-- nowhere at the gym-turned-headquarters, not his favorite coffeeshop, nor at the apartment he’d renovated but rarely slept at. Jace had just about been ready to call in reinforcements, sure that his brother had been kidnapped, when the bastard had waltzed into his office, loose-limbed and looking without a care in the world.

Alec hadn’t mentioned where he’d been, just waved off Jace’s concern with frankly insulting blitheness. Still, Jace had been stunned when his brother, the most stoic Lightwood, had started humming as he reviewed evidence that one of their dealers had gone turncoat for a police precinct on the edge of their territory.

All of which brings Jace to now. Standing outside Alec’s office door, he overhears his brother on a phone call that sounds the furthest thing from business. He’s never been so grateful that Alec prefers to keep his door ajar most of the time because it allows him to hover just close enough to hear his brother sound decidedly enamored.

“Are we still on for tonight,” Alec asks in what, if Jace didn’t know better, he’d define as a flirty tone. He stares gobsmacked at the mostly closed door. When the fuck had Alec developed a flirty tone?

He doesn’t hear what the person on the other end of the line says before Alec’s sighing. It’s not one of his annoyed sighs, though, oh no. It’s one that speaks volumes despite its brevity. It’s the exhalation of stress and tension, like he’s taking his first deep breath of the day and it’s all due to who he’s talking to.

Jace is both curious and wary.

“I’ve never had Ethiopian before,” Alec muses. “You’ll have to let me know what’s good.”

A short pause before Alec’s laughing and it’s not a polite thing. It’s full bodied and completely free. “Get your mind out of the gutter, babe. I’m actually starving and I refuse to let you seduce me before I get food. Not again.”

A softer laugh, a quieter voice, so low that Jace leans closer to the door to hear the words. “Of course I had a good time. I always have a good time with you” His tone turns dry. “That’s not the point. The point is that I have a very healthy appetite-- ruling half the city’s underworld does that to a guy-- and I feel like I could eat an entire restaurant right now.”

A breathless laugh, more fond than anything and then Alec’s replying, “You’re incorrigible.”

It’s just seconds later that they’re saying their goodbyes and Jace straightens as he runs through everything he just heard. Alec called the person on the phone babe. There was a particular kind of softness that Jace hasn’t heard from his brother in years, if ever.

Now, Jace knows Alec is an adult and is entitled to both his privacy and his own judgement. Still, he can’t deny an overwhelming urge to know who’s caught Alec’s attention in such a way. It may be over-protectiveness, it might be his own arrogance in thinking-- knowing-- that he knows Alec’s best interests but he need to check out the situation, make sure Alec isn’t making a mistake, that the person on the other end of the phone is worthy of his brother and best friend and leader, who’s deserving himself of only the best.

With that in mind, Jace runs a hand through his hair, regroups, and pushes open the office door to saunter into Alec’s office.

“Hey bro, what’s up?”

Alec just levels him with a look. “Same old shit, different day. I am thinking of expanding our lines on the Eastern front, though. Thoughts?”

Jace mulls over that little tidbit of information, thinking over their options and potential gains compared to disadvantages. “Disanto isn’t going to go away without a fight,” is what he finally offers.

Meaning back in his chair, Alec folds his hands over his stomach and when he grins, it’s wolfish. “I think he’ll lose most of his bravado when all of his men defect.”

Now that information has Jace standing straighter, eyebrows high. “What the fuck does that mean?”

Looking like the cat who’s caught the canary, Alec replies, “I’ve been in talks with a few of his people. One of his men came to me awhile ago and talked about how the boss is losing it. They think it’s a combination of early onset dementia and Disanto just being a greedy bastard. He’s started skimping on paying his men and when they get a haul, he’s taking double his agreed upon share. There’s also rumours that he’s entering deals that none of his men want anything to do with and that he’s turning a blind eye to some abuse his girls are getting, just so he doesn’t piss off his biggest dealers. Something needs to be done and his men have persuaded me that I’m that something.”

It’s silent in the room as Jace takes his time to digest everything. Taking a seat across from Alec, Jace is surprised that Alec had even entertained people from a rival organization before he realizes that he should have known better. Alec’s always been a gossip and in their line of work, things often hinge on a nugget of information revealed at the right time.

“And you’re sure they’re not just setting you up for a coup of their own?”

Alec smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’ve confirmed what they’ve told me independently and Jace--” he blows out a frustrated breath. “Things are a shitshow over there. He’s lost the trust and respect of everyone and the only reason they haven’t ended him alone is because the entire head needs to be cut off and they don’t have a suitable replacement they can agree on.”

Jace raises a skeptical brow. “But they all agree on an outsider? They all think you’re the answer to their problems?”

Shrugging, Alec only offers, “We’re the second biggest organization in the city and if we take over their operations, we’d be damned close to first. I have a reputation for being fair but brutal and it sounds like they need both a firm hand and someone they can look up to. For whatever reason, that seems to be me.”

It makes sense but that just leads to another question. “Why not go to the biggest syndicate then? Directly to the best? Why didn’t they consider Bane?”

Humming a little, Alec considers the question before simply saying, “He wasn’t interested. Apparently, he has his hands full enough and he wasn’t interested in retraining another faction to his specifications. I think he’s expanding his business interests and it’s taking most of his attention right now.”

Jace laughs a little and it borders on a scoff. “Where did you hear that? You know they like to keep their cards close to the vest.”

“You know I have my ways, Jace.”

Deciding he’s had enough with Alec’s cryptic ass, Jace just shrugs before he stands. “I say go for it if you have the time to dedicate to turning them over. I’ll help with whatever you need, but you know this is an ambitious takeover that’ll fall on your shoulders the most. You’ve spent the past few years establishing yourself, Alec. I think you’re ready and Disanto’s value isn’t inconsiderable. Just let me know what to expect when the time comes.”

Alec nods and Jace can see the satisfied gleam in his eye. “We’ll be moving forward then. I expect we’ll start the first stage sometime next month, I’ll need to hold a formal meeting with all of my men and make sure we’re all in agreement and talk strategy with the defectors.”

“Sounds great, bro.” Now, a plan has been brewing during this conversation and Jace finds himself almost tripping over his words as he switches subjects. “Can I have the night off?”

He watches Alec frown in thought. “That was abrupt. Everything okay?”

“I just have a hot date tonight. I know it’s sudden but we just matched earlier and they seem eager, so. Who am I to deprive someone of all this?” Jace waves away his concern with shameless narcissism. It’s an easy enough deflection and Alec is used to it.

“Fine,” Alec answers before fixing him with a look. “You know you don’t have to ask permission, anyway. Your time is your own.”

Jace grins. “Never let it be said that I take advantage of my position.”

Rolling his eyes, Alec just glares halfheartedly. “Get out of my office. Enjoy your date and try not to be so fucking greasy while you’re on it. It’s the world’s biggest turnoff.”

Jace scoffs as he heads toward the door. With one hand on the handle, he gives Alec his best finger guns. “Wrong. My confidence is the sexiest thing about me.”

Alec rolls his eyes so hard Jace briefly worries they’ll get stuck that way. “Leave me alone. I fully intend not to hear from you until tomorrow.”

With a halfass wave, Jace leaves without saying anything else and puts his plan into motion.

This was not what Jace had expected when he’d overheard that phone call a few hours ago.

This being his brother, always so cold and clearheaded, out on the fucking town with one Magnus Bane.

Their biggest rival and all around considered to be New York’s biggest bastard.

Slumping from his tiny booth in the corner, Jace holds the menu up to his face as he covertly stares at his brother laugh and flirt and blush in the company of Bane. He still can’t wrap his head around the fact that the man who’s grabbed Alec’s attention isn’t a harmless librarian or nerdy professor but one of the most influential, dangerous people in the city.

Jace doesn’t think about how Alec would be considered just as dastardly in different company.

For god’s sake, they’re holding hands over the table. Though Jace is too far away to hear their conversation, he watches as Alec says something and if he didn’t know better, he’d say Bane is blushing himself in answer.

They’re at a simple restaurant, cozy and charming with delicious smells emanating from all around. Jace had almost gagged as he’d seen Magnus round the booth to sit next to Alec as he explained the menu in what looked to be far too much detail.

Jace’s plan had been simple enough: make Alec think he would be busy on his own for the night before doubling back and following his brother to his date at the Ethiopian place. Thankfully, Jace could be extremely discreet when the need arose and he knew Alec well enough to hide all of the usual tells his brother would be attuned with.

He’d expected to find someone quiet and intellectual, someone Alec could enjoy long silences or deep conversations with. He had not thought that Alec would be head over heels for someone so loud and refined and cunning.

Jace doesn’t know what to think.

He’s startled out of his thoughts as a waitress walks up to him and asks for his ordered. Having not even looked at the blasted thing since he’d been seated, Jace’s dazed eyes scan over the menu quickly before ordering the first thing that registers. The waitress leaves quickly and Jace turns his attention back to the sickening scene in front of him.

Alec is laughing and looks so carefree-- more so than Jace thinks he’s looked since he was a kid. As he watches the two of them on a date, in their own little world, Jace wonders if it doesn’t make a kind of sense.

Suddenly, a lot of things make sense.

He remembers a few months ago when Alec really had been kidnapped, when Jace had arrived to one of Aldertree’s warehouses frantic and ready for blood only to find his brother not unscathed but whole enough.

So clearly, he remembers thinking how extraordinary it had been for Alec to have killed all the men and escape with a few busted ribs and a minor concussion. He remembers the shiver that had trailed up his spine as Alec had walked to the car, when Jace had taken in the carnage and felt eyes on him, the eerie whistling that he’d told himself was his mind playing tricks on him after the adrenaline surge of thinking Alec was in danger.

He should have known better, really.

Trying to resolve the events of that day with all the evidence that’s been piling up along with what’s right in front of his eyes right now and Jace thinks he must be an idiot.

He also think his brother is playing with fire and it’s only a matter of time before it burns down the whole damn thing they’ve been building since that horrifying summer night that feels like a lifetime ago.

Jace knows his brother better than anyone and even though this is the first time he’s seeing this side of Alec, it’s easy enough to define.

His brother is in love. Jace sees the brightness in his eyes, the flattered flustered look on his face when Magnus no doubt flirts with him, teases him with an ease that’s well-known and well-honed.

As he follows them out of the restaurant-- barely tasting his own food-- he ducks behind a flower bush in the park when Alec and Magnus come to a stop near a lone street light.

Wrapping his arms around Magnus’s middle, Jace feels like a voyeur as he sees Magnus wrap his own around Alec’s neck. Their voices are low in the solitude of the park, in the quiet of a night growing late, but their easy intimacy is obvious in the way their conversation flows with an ease that’s surprising before Alec is leaning forward, before Magnus is tilting his head up, and then they’re kissing.

It’s soft and slow and Jace has seen enough.

Alec has never been selfish or careless but Jace thinks there must be a first time for everything. All he can see is calculation in Magnus’s eyes when he pulls Alec closer, manipulation as he banters and flirts and wraps his brother around his finger with every word he speaks, casting a spell over Alec.

He doesn’t blame his brother for falling for Magnus. Still, Magnus’s reputation precedes him and Jace swore when they were kids, that he’d always have Alec’s back.

Quickly and with the stealth he’s known for, Jace leaves the lovebirds to it and can’t help but wonder when their house of cards will come crumbling down.

---

A few months later and things aren’t exactly going to plan-- with anything. Alec is still disappearing, still in a great mood-- unless they’re talking about the consolidation of Disanto’s syndicate.

It’s taking much longer than either of them had estimated to gain a foothold. Disanto had become increasingly paranoid and while most of his trusted advisors had been cut loose-- by Disanto himself not by anyone on Lightwood’s payroll-- and the leader was very difficult to meet with. He’d declined every invitation Alec had sent and the takeover was turning into such a headache that Alec looked ready to tear his hair out at any given moment.

Plus, Jace wasn’t blind. The past week or so, Alec had been in an even more godawful mood and he hadn’t seen Magnus. Jace knows the two are related. He just doesn’t know how.

It’s a Monday afternoon and Jace has a large pizza with everything on it and some beer and he’s ready to de-stress with his best friend. He enters through the kitchen in the back, sets the pizza down on the counter and puts the beer in the fridge before he starts toward the living room.

Alec had claimed a migraine and left headquarters while it was still morning. It’s now the early evening and Jace is ready to listen to his brother vent for the next hour while inhaling a truly horrifying amount of pizza between breaths.

When he nears the threshold between the kitchen and the dining room, though, he stops cold at the sound of rising voices.

“What are you saying, Alexander?”

Alec’s voice is devoid of all emotion as he apparently restates, “I can’t keep doing this. I can’t be with you anymore.”

Jace will give it to Magnus, the tremor in his voice is so faint that he almost misses it. “Just like that?”

Jace ducks mostly behind the kitchen wall as he sees Alec walk out into the corridor. “Just like that,” Alec says grimly. “I’m sorry it had to end this way but it's over.”

Holding his breath as Magnus follows Alec into the hallway, Jace can’t help but think that if Bane is acting, he’s doing a hell of a job at it. There are tears in his eyes that Jace just catches and he looks vulnerable in a way Jace wouldn’t guess him capable, holding himself together with a thread that’s quickly unraveling.

“We’ve been together for over a year and this is how it ends? You won’t even give me an answer for this sudden turnabout, darling. Excuse the shit out of me if I don’t go merry into this fucking terrible night.”

“Don’t be so crass,” Alec chides idly and from his vantage point, Jace thinks Magnus is seeing red with the way he stiffens.

“You don’t get to tell me how to talk, Alexander.” He laughs but it’s bitter. “Not now, at least.”

Alec’s facing Magnus-- and Jace who’s hiding behind the apparent ex-lover-- so he sees the coldness in Alec’s eyes, his impenetrable stare.

Alec opens his mouth and in a way that’s only possible after knowing someone so long, Jace knows that Alec’s next words are going to be the kill shot.

“I don’t love you anymore. I never really did, if we're being honest,” Alec says, infuriatingly cool. “You’ve served your purpose. I don’t need you anymore. It’s over, Bane, and now I’ll ask you to leave without embarrassing yourself more than you already have.”

In stark contrast to just a moment before, it’s like all of Magnus’s strings are cut and Jace almost wonders that he doesn’t just slump until he collapses onto the ground. It’s quiet for a long moment before Magnus raises his head an inch, meeting Alec’s eyes, and asks in a dead whisper, “It was all a lie? You were just using me this entire time?”

Now here’s the thing. Jace knows Alec and he knows when his brother and best friend is lying. And right now? Alec’s lying through his goddamn teeth. Jace sees the way each word of Magnus’s is a blow to Alec in the way he’s braced himself, in the slow blink of his eyes that means Alec’s thinking carefully of each word, like there’s a script he’s following lest this entire charade fall to pieces around him.

Magnus pulls himself up to his full height and Jace knows he’s not imagining it as Alec shrinks imperceptibly at what must be a hell of a glare.

“I loved you,” Magnus says calmly and when he speaks now his voice is calm and strong and carries a weight that shows clearly how he became one of the most ruthless men in the city. “I love you,” Magnus repeats and he takes a single step closer to Alec. “But I swear to God, darling, I will forget you.”

Jace isn’t breathing as he watches his brother’s face and the devastation that’s lurking just beneath the surface. Alec doesn’t say anything and Magnus steps around him, toward the front door.

Alec’s staring at the floor when Magnus stops with the door open. Neither one look at the other as Magnus serves his own kill shot. “When you first took over from Robert, I thought there was something different about you, something your father lacked. A heart.” His voice drops lower, menacing in its condescension, as he continues, “But now I see that you’re just like him. Worse than the shit on the bottom of my shoe. Not worth my time. There might be a day when you need my help, Lightwood, and I want you to know what my answer will be when it comes. No. I will look at you with nothing but pity and I will tell you to go to hell. I will happily send you to your ruin, know that.”

Magnus laughs a little and Alec shudders, out of Magnus’s view. “We’ll see if you’re as pathetic as Robert was when you beg me for help anyway. Until then, goodbye Alexander.”

Magnus leaves and Alec steps over to the wall, bracing his arms as he leans forward, trying to catch his breath.

Jace knows he should go, should act like he was never here in the first place but Alec is hurting and he’ll never be able to ignore that.

He steps out from where he’d been hiding but Alec doesn’t even notice, totally focused on what must be total devastation. Not knowing where to start, Jace cuts to the heart of the matter in the way he does best.

“You lied.”

Alec’s head shoots up and he stares at Jace with wide, red-rimmed eyes. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Deciding to play the indifferent asshole card, Jace shrugs. “I brought pizza and beer over but it looks like I missed the party.”

“Go to hell, Jace.”

Jace just lifts an unimpressed brow. “Bold words when you look three seconds from bawling your eyes out.”

Alec’s expression clears just enough for anger to take over. Jace watches him dispassionately as he takes a breath, trying to settle the rage that must have started licking up his spine. “Maybe you didn’t hear me,” Alec says evenly, pushing away from the wall and coming to stand in the middle of the hallway. “Get the fuck out. Leave me alone. I don’t need you right now.”

Acting like he didn’t hear, Jace leans against the wall in a way that he knows ruffles his brother’s feathers. “So, Magnus huh? I don’t blame you for ending things. I can imagine that’s a lot to handle.”

Alec glares at him so coldly, Jace almost rears back. “You don’t get to talk about Magnus like that. Shut up Jace,” Alec warns softly. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

Jace doesn’t move, doesn’t say anything for a long minute. The two of them stare at each other, and Jace decides he’s kicked Alec enough when he’s already down. “Here’s what I know,” he starts softly. “I know you’ve been happier the past several months than I can ever remember. I know you love Magnus and that you just lied to his face when you ended things, that you ripped out your own heart at the same time. Here’s what I don’t know-- why?”

Raking hands through his hair, Alec just mutters, “I need a beer.”

He stalks past Jace into the kitchen, and goes directly to the fridge, drinking half a beer before Jace even has time to reach for his own.

The two of them sit down at the counter and eat cold pizza mostly in silence. It takes awhile for Alec to stir and when he does, all he says is, “I had to break his heart to save his life.”

Jace doesn’t react, merely asks, “Okay. What does that mean?”

Sighing, Alec pushes away his empty plate. “Disantos has become dangerous, Jace. I don’t know how but it looks like you’re not the only one who knew about us.” He swallows hard. “Disantos came to me-- you didn’t know about it because he swore me to secrecy, said he had information on Valentine that he would only hand over if he could be assured that I was alone.”

Jace hums noncommittal. They’ll come back to Alec’s lack of faith in him later. “That doesn’t explain why you think you’re doing the right thing here, Alec.”

Taking a shuddering breath, “Disanto’s been tailing Magnus and when we met, he told me that he actually has ties to Valentine, that he’s under his protection and that Valentine has access to Bane. He knows about the damned coup, about his men's betrayal, and gave me an ultimatum. Unless I call off my takeover and keep my distance, they’ll go after Magnus.”

Alec turns to face Jace and there’s such devastation there that Jace almost starts tearing up himself. “I’d rather have him alive and hate me than to not have him around at all, Jace. You know Valentine, you know what he’s capable of. There’s no way I’m giving him any reason to make Magnus a target.”

“So what,” Jace says. “You’re going to be miserable forever just so Magnus won’t get killed by a bad guy? Alec, that’s our life. If it’s not Valentine, it’ll be someone else. Magnus knows what he signed up for with this life and you should know that, too. Sometimes you can’t protect the ones you love but does that mean you shouldn’t love at all?”

“Emotions are nothing but a distraction, Jace.” It’s obvious that Alec tries to be hard but he’s still so dejected that the words are more of a plea than anything else.

Jace scoffs in his face. “That’s bullshit and you know it. Robert was an asshole; you should know not to listen to anything he had to say. What about me,” he demands. “Do you think we’re too close? That I’m a liability? That I can’t take care of myself if need be?”

Alec closes his eyes. “It’s different and you know it.”

“Do I,” Jace counters evenly.

“You’ve been my best friend, practically family, since we were kids. We always said we’d be together.”

Jace looks at him, mouth tilted in a sly hint of a smile. “Are you telling me that you and Magnus haven’t talked commitment? I can’t believe that.”

Looking frustrated, Alec snaps back, “How are you so calm about this? I thought you hated Magnus.”

Jace hums, thinking about his answer. The truth is, he’s disliked Bane since he first heard about him, especially since he’d learned that the man had gotten his devious little nails into his brother. But while Jace might not like to admit it, he’d be a dumbass not to. He’s seen how happy Bane makes his brother. He’s seen the unconscious affection the few times he’s tailed them on their dates, and just now tonight-- Magnus’s heart had been thoroughly smashed.

Maybe he judged too quickly, Jace thinks wryly. He has to wonder if he’s not letting prejudices against the Bane syndicate from previous generations fuck with the here and now.

Maybe I’m not the only one who needs to forget Robert’s lessons, he supposes.

“You love him,” Jace finally answers. “From what I’ve seen, Bane loves you too. All I want for you is to find whatever happiness you can in this life you’ve chosen for yourself. Did I think you were being reckless when I found out? Sure. Did I wonder if you weren’t thinking with your dick? Of course. But I’ll be honest, bro. I’ve known about you two for months and the other shoe has yet to drop. Especially seeing how you feel without Magnus, I’m willing to give the man the benefit of the doubt.”

“Thanks, Jace,” Alec says softly. “That means a lot.”

Then he groans. “What you said made sense,” Alec admits, which Jace knows had to be a herculean task for him. “But that doesn't erase the fact that even if I’m willing to gamble with his life-- I just made him fucking hate me. This isn’t even the first time we’ve dealt with this. Fuck, I hate myself.”

“What does that mean?”

Alec takes a deep breath. “A few months into dating, Magnus tried to break up with me because Valentine was getting to close. He sabotaged that Hell’s Kitchen project and when I confronted him, he tried to act like it had always and only been business between us. I saw through him, though. Wouldn’t let go until he finally broke and admitted his plan. We said back then that we were stronger together, that we wouldn’t let either of our protective instincts take over again, that we would talk through things. And now I did the same thing Magnus did.”

Jace moves closer, blames the half dozen beers for this turn of events. Rubbing a hand over his shoulder, Jace tries to rally them. “Well, at least Magnus will understand where you’re coming from. Not gonna lie though, you seriously fucked up.” Before his brother can tell him to fuck off, Jace keeps going. “Tell me how.”

Alec frowns. “Why do you want to know?”

“If you’re going to go groveling back to Magnus, you’re going to do it properly. I know you’ll be annoyingly sincere but Magnus isn’t a fool and he’s so angry right now that just getting him to talk to you might be impossible for awhile. So when you do talk to him, you’re going to have to lay all of your cards on the table-- acknowledge you messed up, acknowledge what you did wrong, promise never to do those things again, and hope by the grace of God that he takes you back. And from the sounds of it, you both need to have a talk and stop being such self-destructive disasters. So. How did you fuck up, Lightwood?”

Swallowing hard, Alec’s gaze turns toward the counter. He picks at the edge of the pizza box as he starts. “I guess I didn’t talk to him. That’s the biggest thing. It’s been bothering me for awhile and Magnus knew something was wrong but I brushed him off every time he asked.” He laughs but it’s humourless. “I said I had it handled.”

Nodding encouragingly, Jace prompts, “What else?”

“I made a decision alone that affected both of us. I-- I thought that I had it all figured out and I didn’t take Magnus’s thoughts or feelings into consideration.” He blows out a breath. “Honestly, I pretty much acted on instinct. Magnus was threatened and I made the fastest decision I could that would save him from harm, regardless of the consequences. It was blind panic and while I know that I can never act like that in my position, with Magnus I didn’t even stop to think. I was so mad when he pulled this shit but now I understand. I feel like such an idiot.”

Jace sighs himself and thinks that his brother has gotten himself into a hell of a situation while trying to do his best. It’s par for the course for them but it still hurts to see Alec make a mistake. And while Jace won’t say it out loud, he wonders if Magnus will ever speak to Alec again-- let alone welcome him back. It gives him hope that both Magnus and Alec seem to fuck up in such similar ways. Hopefully that proves to be Alec’s saving grace in this mess.

That won’t really help Alec to hear though so Jace keeps his game face on. “Anything else you need to beg forgiveness for?”

Alec’s expression sours at his choice of words and Jace remember’s Magnus’s little parting shot, wincing himself. Still, Alec rallies. “I guess I just want to tell him that I’m so sorry I hurt him, that I didn’t mean anything I said today, that I was trying to protect him, albeit in the most ass backwards way I could think of. That he’s his own person and I should have gone to him and we could have worked together-- and that I love him more than anyone in the world and that I’ll do whatever it takes to earn his forgiveness.” Alec’s voice is much quieter but no less full of conviction as he adds, “Or I’ll respect his decision if he doesn’t forgive me or want anything to do with me as long as he knows the truth.”

Looking at Alec, looking so dejected, Jace sighs and hauls him in for a hug. “Ah hell, Alec, you sure do know how to get yourself into messes, don’t you?”

Jace keeps patting his back and doesn’t say anything as Alec’s voice wobbles in his shoulder. “He’s my world, Jace. I thought I was doing the right thing, the only thing I could do, but you showed me I was just being a shortsighted ass. God,” he tries to laugh, though it comes out much closer to a sob. “I don’t think I could take it if he didn’t forgive me.”

“It’ll be okay, Alec.” Jace tries his best to be comforting, to be the shoulder his brother needs even as he’s not quite so sure they’ll make it through this. He’s never seen his brother so devastated. He remembers the look in Magnus’s eye though, when they kissed in the park all those months ago, when Alec broke his heart just a few hours ago.

He knows Magnus is hurting just as much as Alec. With Alec’s sincerity and the way it’s so obvious that Magnus is it for him, Jace thinks they’ll find their way back to each other.

It might take time but Alec’s always been patient and steadfast when it counted.

Pulling back a little, Jace pretends he doesn’t notice the tear tracks on Alec’s face. “Okay bro, Operation Win Magnus Back is officially commenced.”

Alec scrubs his hands over his face. “You think I can do it?”

Smiling, Jace looks at his brother. The man who tries so hard to be good even when by very definition he’s anything but, the leader and brother and son who accepts responsibility to a fault, the man who’s only fallen in love once but found a hell of a match on his first try.

“Oh Alec,” he says with a bolstering, little grin. “I have no doubt.”

[myulalie]

On modern comment culture

First off, I’d like to make the distinction between honesty, and being hurtful under the pretense of being honest.

Hate, be it anon or not, is hurting someone’s feelings on purpose.

You can receive hate and be a hater too. It might be easier, even, to go from the hate you receive on your work, and take it out onto someone else’s.

Here is how I picture a hater's mind: “easy to pour some hate into a comment section, you don't see the person and they receive nice comments. They probably won't even notice.”

Sometimes, constructive criticism, even with your best interests at heart, hurts.

We don’t expect it, it’s not what we meant to write, or we just didn’t worry about how our work could be perceived.

It might be a very European vs American perception of criticism, and I aspire to get better, so the choice I made is to receive constructive criticism (concrit for short).

I wish someone would tell me if I’m writing something that doesn’t work, and why it doesn’t. I wish someone would point it out if I misuse a word.

Positive feedback is great and encouraging, actual comments about what someone likes/dislikes and why is helpful.

Not wanting any concrit is the author’s choice and I respect it. This is the reason I only offer concrit to anyone who told me they’re interested.

I wish concrit was still a thing

Modern comment culture is protective of authors, and there is a general agreement that concrit, especially unsolicited, is unnecessary.

I fully support the fact that fanfic authors are writing for free, so they deserve basic respect for their work.

This doesn’t give them the right to be assholes.

You put your work out there, you have a responsibility to at the very least let people know you’re not interested in concrit, and to disable/moderate comments if you don’t want them.

If someone comes to bug you when you explicitly mentioned you’re not interested in concrit then yeah, by all means, tell them to fuck off.

I think it’s important to let haters know their behavior is unacceptable. As they say, the only way to deal with a bully is to punch them in the face (or make them face the consequences of their actions as a general rule).

The author’s reply to hate tells a lot about them, but their reply to concrit also does.

Being polite should be a given.

And it goes both ways!

Readers are offering concrit for free too, they take the time to do so because they genuinely want to help. They enjoy your story enough to want to interact with you.

I’ve had a lot more comments than usual with kinktober, and I’ve built up a new habit of replying the next day before or after posting my daily take on the prompts.

I am aware that the amount of comments I receive is manageable, and some people have to deal with a lot more every day (like, hundreds).

In my experience, replying to short and sweet comments can be challenging because a simple thank you message isn’t personal enough, and you as a writer don’t have much content to actually reply to either.

Longer comments often open up more possibilities to reply, even if it’s just to let the reader know how you felt when reading their comment.

I believe that no matter how shy or busy you are, copying and pasting a little thank you message isn’t that difficult, and doesn’t take that long. You could even leave a note in each new chapter to let your readers know you read their comments and appreciate them.

Acknowledging readers will encourage them to comment your fics more, and potentially to the benefit of other authors too.

Don’t start fights because of concrit

Readers, please know that a simple heart as additional kudos goes a long way. Saying what you liked or just that you're enjoying the story is really encouraging too!

If you’d like to leave concrit, maybe formulate your comment as a question instead of pointing something out, to avoid upsetting the author.

I’m sure you mean well when you leave a comment, and you don’t want to discourage the author if you like what they’re writing!

If the author is open to concrit, they’ll probably reply to your question and ask their own, which leads to a conversation. Better safe than sorry, offer concrit and wait for them to agree, there is no use in getting into a fight with the author.

A better use of your time as a reader would be to read even more, I’m not getting in the way of your fun, or go and offer comments & concrit to someone who is interested in what you have to say.

As a writer, I guess you can always write more, and maybe thank readers for their kind words!

How to establish dialogue with your readers

Disclaimer: I’m still learning, and the amount of comments I receive compared to my free time is manageable. Before you proceed, please note I asked my reader for permission to use their comments as examples.

Myulalie: I would like to make a tumblr post about comments and include yours as an example.

It's to explain why I value them and how I proceed to reply, because I have strong feelings about author/reader relationships ^^

Would you be okay with that? It's totally fine if you're not, I am asking for permission because I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

Also, if you agree and for some reason change your mind once you've read the tumblr post, I'll remove it, no questions asked ^^

Reader: I don’t mind at all, I know a lot of people don’t leave feedback, for a variety of reasons, so any education in how/why is always important. I’m just glad my comments fall in to the good category 😁

Thanks for asking, you have my permission to use any you like.

The context is as follows: The characters went on vacation and asked friends to pet-sit their cats. I then used the characters’ cats as plot devices for the characters to move in together. A cat hid under the sink and refused to leave, which brought forth the “moving in” conversation.

Reader: Alcohol + other person = trautamised cat and an empty drinks cabinet... which I would be making them restock, oh and embarrassed friends... the cat might want to stay but I know the signs of a traumatised let.. sometimes taking a chance on something turns out to be the best thing in your life, so far, until the proposal

This reader is lovely and has been commenting on every chapter of this story, as well as some other stories. We never had any issue whatsoever and even chatted about their cat.

This is what I consider a good relationship, and when I read this comment I was surprised. I did not expect them to interpret the story this way.

The fact is, this reader is “wrong” because it’s not what I meant when I wrote (nothing happened to the cat, the alcohol part of the chapter is not related to the cat’s behavior).

This reader is also right because this IS what I wrote. The cat is hiding for plot purposes, but the plot also includes the pet-sitters getting drunk. I implied them making out, then regretting it later, thus behaving weirdly around each other, which was meant as comic relief.

I have seen replies to similar comments and needless to say people get into fights over such misunderstandings.

Here is my reply:

Myulalie: I would like to make the official statement that nothing bad happened to the cats D:

Ragnor & Jace's shenaningans were meant to hint at drunk making out and nothing more. The worse thing Church had to go through is second hand embarrassment I promise ♥ I can't bring myself to traumatise Church and I'm glad you pointed out that it sorts of look like something was wrong with him ^^ The only thing "wrong" is the plot device I used to have malec move in together haha :')

I appreciate this reader trusting me enough to point this out and letting me know how they feel.

I think it’s important to be aware of how this can be read. A beta would probably have told me how the chapter looked from an external point of view and suggested writing the same idea differently. As things are, I didn’t have a beta-reader for this fic.

Here is the reader’s reply:

Reader: Lol, good to know, although in my experience cats bring it on themselves, nosy little voyeurs that they are....

See how we solved the problem by simply having a conversation? This is why I appreciate concrit and do my best to treat readers well.

edit: upon checking in with the reader to make sure the post sat well with them, they told me they never meant it as criticism and actually found the chapter funny, their comment was written in a sarcastic manner that I totally missed!

There, you have it. I am full of good intentions and I still miss some of the meaning of the comment!

There was a second comment on the following chapter.

I’ll just mention that one of the cats dipped his paws in a can of paint and made a mess on the wall. One of the character makes a pet account on Instagram to post pictures of the cat’s “artwork” with paint.

Reader: I always love a story that ends on a happy ever after, although I do think alec was taking a big chance tying the rings to the cats collars, especially after the paint incident... we won’t go in to what I think of people having Instagram accounts for their pets, although the paining does sound nice...

This was a very cute story and I’m glad that they found their forever person :grin:

If you don’t get it, this reader and me disagree on pet accounts.

The fact is, they are allowed to express themselves, and they did it respectfully. I don’t think this comment is rude, and I don’t think this reader feels “entitled”. Quite the contrary, they’re polite and felt comfortable enough to let me know what they think.

I didn’t argue with them. My reply consisted in politely reminding everyone who might read this story that this is a work of fiction, and that it’s here for both the reader’s and the author’s entertainment.

Myulalie: Well, I definitely don't recommend doing your proposal this way IRL, fortunately stories are a safe space to make crazy proposals for entertainment's sake :')

I'm glad you liked the ending! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me all throughout the story, I really appreciated our chats ♥

edit: I thought we disagreed. We chatted again and they told me they don't have IG so they don't see the point of running 2 accounts, which fair. Because I used to run a pet account for my dog, I felt "attacked" where I absolutely wasn't.

One more example of misinterpretation!

I think the only way forward is together.

Authors deserve respect for their work, it doesn’t exempt them from being polite. Readers might need some sort of education on “comment etiquette”, and should be respected in return.

I want this platform to be a safe space for authors AND for readers.

[darth-rainbow]

A Jace x Maia one shot post hook up

"It's that bartender isn't it? The beautiful one?"

"It's nothing serious."

Sure, it might be 'nothing serious' and yet, Jace stood at the entrance of Hunter's Moon, desperately seeking for a single person : Maia. She'd said it meant nothing too. But, really, you can't share the sort of moment they did and not feel something for someone. Jace, felt something for her. It was foreign, and new, and an amber compared to the brasero that had been his love for Clary. Ever consuming, but always burning bright.

Being with Maia, not as a lover, but as friend, had been incredibly entertaining. She was challenging in ways few bothered to be with him. She would bite back, always. And not just a nip, nope. Maia was deadly, powerful, intelligent. If she wanted to bite, she went for the jugular. Jace respected that. He respected someone who respected themselves, who seemed to love themselves even. Perhaps that's what he had felt first for her : admiration. For the woman who faced everything head on, clearly scarred by life too, but still living a much brighter existence that Jace could ever.

Maia was, bright. In a way that made one remember her, even after just a glance. In a way that made it easy to conjure an image of her smile for anyone who bothered trying. In a way that drew eyes to hers. Not because she was particularly loud or attention seeking, but simply because of her energy. She had the aura of someone who knew their self worth and valued it. Not cocky, not boastful. Just aware, inhabiting her body in ways that showed a confidence earned through experience.

Jace grinned, seeing the female walk out of a backdoor and appearing behind the bar. The blond ran his fingers through his hair, before making his way to the first empty stool. "I'll have a beer." He said.

Maia rose an eyebrow, lightly tilting her head to the side. "I didn't know Shadowhunters had lunch breaks." The female simply said, pouring him the ordered drink. "Or that they drank on the job."

"It's my day off." Jace replied.

"You guys get those?" Maia asked. "Isn't saving the world a full time job? And since you spend at least a couple of hours a day just on the hair, you really shouldn't have that much free time."

"Jace scoffed. "It naturally looks that good."

"Sure." She replied with an eye roll. "I mean, if your hair care products are vegan, then maybe yes, it's all natural." The werewolf added, sliding the beer towards the blond, a satisfied smile on his lips.

"Please, like you wake up looking like that." Jace replied, taking ahold of his pint of beer.

"The difference between you and I, Jace, is that I don't pretend I do." Maia replied, before heading towards a customer who'd called for her.

Uncharacteristically, Jace stuck around, sipping on a beer that easily grew warm in his grip. He hadn't really intended to. And he didn't really know what he was expecting or awaiting for, really. She'd said it, yesterday, their stint hadn't mean anything. And yet, he was there wasn't he? At Hunter's Moon, in the middle of the day. The blond rose an eyebrow when Maia slid past the counter, a coat shrugged on her shoulders. "You leavin'?" He asked.

She chuckled, choosing to ask back : "You care?" before actually offering an answer. "Yes, I'm planning to go the library and work on an essay due soon."

Jace rose both eyebrows. "You go to college?" He instantaneously regretting his question, watching the female flinch.

"Online course." Maia gently explained.

"Cool." The blond replied, giving a small nod.

The female smiled, tentative but proud. "Cool." She echoed softly, seemingly testing the word on her tongue. "Indeed." She finally added, in acquiescence. "Huh, anyway, I gatto, gotta," They both chuckled. "Gotta go. I gotta go."

Jace nodded. "Of course, don't let me hold you back." He put five dollars on the counter. "I was on my way out too anyway." The shadowhunter added, standing up. Maia nodded, heading towards the door of the bar, Jace a couple of steps behind her.

The werewolf held the door for the shadowhunter, a perplexed expression on her features. "I know it's not exactly any of my business. But... Day drinking?" She asked. "I'm not judging or anything. It's just new." She gave a small shrug. "And though I might not be your first choice, or even in the list of the choices you'd consider, well, I don't mind listening."

Jace's eyes widened. "Oh no! It's not like that! My life isn't, well," He furrowed his brows. "My life is objectively a mess. I'm not gonna bother denying that. But no more than yesterday I promise. It's just..." The blond chuckled. "It's stupid, really."

Maia furrowed her brows, a certain confusion on her features. "What is?" She inquired, sounding genuinely concerned for a second there.

Jace rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't, huh, I didn't come to the bar for the beer..." He replied, holding the female's gaze.

Maia blinked, confused for a couple of seconds before the realization dawned on her. "Oh." She said softly. "I..." She wet her bottom lip. "I don't really do meaningless Jace. Last night, it was..."

Maia shook her head. "I don't really know, to be honest. It was so not me..."

"But so utterly you at the same time?" Jace tentatively finished, earning himself a nod from the female. "Yeah I sorta feel the same."

"You feel?" Maia asked, frowning.

"Ouch." Jace said. "But fair. You've been acquainted with my book club after all."

Maia rose an eyebrow. "Is that what you call it? A book club?" She snorted at the euphemism. "Listen, Jace," She drew in a long breath, steeling herself for the declaration she was about to make. "I'm not Clary." Once those words were out, Maia let a short, huff-like exhale before she went on to elaborate : "And I don't want to even try to compare to her. So whatever lingering feelings you feel you have and think I can make disappear because you also happen to feel some fleeting attraction for me, just don't. Please. Spare me."

The blond opened his mouth, ready to retort before closing it, seeing the genuine hurt in the female's heart. It was odd to think, that Simon could break anyone's heart. Because he was the nice guy™. But he had, at the very least, bruised Maia's. And she was right. He still felt something for Clary. But forgetting wasn't what had drawn Jace to Maia. No. She was her own person. Interesting for reasons that had nothing to do with Jace needing to heal and everything to do with the girl's merit.

"Okay." He finally said softly. "Okay, I won't try anything. But please, don't think for a second that your only appeal would have been to help me forget Clary." He clarified. "Maia, you're too great for that. I like you, objectively, as friend, because yes we're friends, don't argue with me now." He chuckled. She grinned. "I like you because you're witty and that makes every single conversation with you funny and entertaining."

"I like you because you never asked anything from me and don't need anything from me. I like you because you respect me enough to call me out on my nonsense. I like you, because you're bright, and kind enough to lend a phone to a shady stranger who looks drenched and hopeless. And you have no idea how much that meant to me back then."

"Just like you have no idea how much it helped to talk to you about my last names changes. Nobody else really asked, or listened. But you, for some reason, you understood that I just desperately wanted a family. So maybe we shouldn't be together because in the long run it might not work out and eventually hurt each other. But I want you, no, I need you, I need you to know, that I would have been in for you. And only, for you."

"Jace," The female said softly.

"What?" The blond asked, daring to take a step closer to her.

"Kiss me." And Jace didn't need to be told twice, his lips just naturally found hers. There was a pull, really. Something magnetic. And yes, they could've pushed each other away, but for some reason, at that very moment, it wasn't friction, but attraction.

[yuncifang]

Lost and Found

Another Whumptober 2019 fill.

Fandom: Shadowhunters (TV)

Characters/pairing: Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane; malec is there if you squint; Jace Wayland, Raphael Santiago (mentioned)

Prompts: 4. Dehydration; Check @whumptober2019 for more!

Alec is marooned at sea after standing up to his captain and refusing to torture a captured pirate. He is dying of severe dehydration when the aforementioned pirate swoops back in to rescue him. So Alec is rescued by a handsome stranger, invited to join a crew of misfits and is also reunited with his not-so-dead brother. Raphael is mentioned like once, leaves an impression, but doesn’t make an appearance.

Fair warning, there is a whole page describing Alec think that he is dying of dehydration and starvation, but all in all it's as light-hearted as my other fill for Whumptober. Also, I have a lot of feelings about the bond that Alec and Jace share.

Raphael’s ship is called Munkar. Hodge’s ship is called Nuriel. Those are some of the angelic names mentioned on the SH fandom wiki-page. Munkar - in Islamic eschatology is one of the angels that test the faith of the dead in their graves and the English translation would be the Denied. Nuriel in Jewish mythology is the angel of hailstorms and translates as “fire of the Lord”. Think what you may of it :) Pirate ships in this AU have angelic names, because, well, they are all stollen from the Clave, ha!

Read on AO3

*

Alec was dying. He tried to hide on the lower desks first, but with each passing day, it was harder and harder for him to move around the ship. A huge ship. Staying on the upper deck allowed him to scan the horizon in hopes of seeing another vessel. Why was a pirate sailing a huge ship like that all alone? He had to think, baffled for a moment, his brain all clouded and slow because of days without food and water. They’ve captured a pirate. It was easy enough, Alec wasn’t even the one boarding the ship, he stood there and watched as two other soldiers escorted the pirate over to the Nuriel. According to Captain Starkweather, the man was a notorious criminal, who was wanted not only for piracy, but for witchcraft and heresy. He was, supposedly, part of Raphael Santiago’s crew, which sounded far-fetched, seeing how he was the only person on board of his ship. Alec didn’t recognise the man, which was also weird on itself, as he has spent endless hours pouring over whatever information was available on Santiago’s crew. The pirate put up a good fight, but did’t really stand a chance, what with him somehow manning the ship alone. The vessel wasn’t that big, but must have required more people to handle it. There was no one else on board. Alec watched the man pass him, face bloodied, the simple white shirt he was wearing ruined, ripped in several places and red with blood too. He was sporting an amused smirk though, as if the situation didn’t bother him in the slightest. He was shackled and tied to the main mast, looked them all over as if he owned the place and then locked eyes with Alec. Alec remembered feeling uneasy, looking at the man. He seemed Alec’s age and was probably rather handsome under all the blood and dirt. His eyes seemed to shine with something barely concealed, and he winked at Alec, as if they were sharing a secret, before turning to Captain Starkweather and promptly spitting out a venomous remark. Alec didn’t know why, but he knew then that that day was no ordinary hunt. The pirate seemed crazy. He aggravated the captain more and more, his disdain and contempt for the hunters obvious with his every word. The captain demanded to know his name, and the pirate readily refused. The captain demanded to know the whereabouts of Raphael Santiago, and the pirate laughed in his face. So Captain Starkweather ordered to torture the man. Alec’s world has gone to shit over a crazy pirate and his own demand for justice. He couldn’t stand there and watch them torture someone. There were procedures to follow, a code of conduct that the Clave designed specifically for apprehending such criminals. Alec refused to take part and demanded a fair trial. It was Captain Starkweather’s turn to laugh. The sun was shining, hot and merciless, the air around was dry, and there was no wind. For the first time in three years since he’s first set sails, the ocean was as calm as a sleeping child. He’d heard stories of course. The sea was never kind or forgiving, for it was not an entity, even if most sailors viewed it as one. People considered the pirate stories to be the scariest, talking about their viciousness and cruelty, calling them the danger that lurked in open waters, but he’s always known better. Pirates were people, and people could be bargained with, people could be fought and over-powered, people could be reasoned with. The sea was indifferent. He was dying, he knew that well enough. He hasn’t had anything to drink for the last five days. He hasn’t had anything to eat for even longer. The worst part was the knowledge that the crew that left him behind, would get to the nearest port and call him the casualty of sickness or, worse, a traitor, deserter, soldier-turned-pirate. There were too many of stories of that for people to doubt it. His family would never know the truth. If he had any strength left, he’d break something in fury. His sharp sister would suspect something. It would crush her, and she’d refuse to let it go until, eventually, it will destroy her poor heart. He was dying, but all he was scared of was the thought of his Isabelle going mad with grief or worse, try to find the truth and get hurt in the process. The news would no doubt make her world crumble. To lose another brother, and so soon after Jace... Alec was lying in the shadows over the highest deck, the one with the steering wheel, his eyes closed. He thought his ears were ringing, but logically he knew, it was the headache setting in. The crew, the pirate hunters as they were called, the soldiers of the Clave as they were known, abandoned him readily enough. His captain didn’t take well his refusal to torture a captured man. He didn’t take well him standing up for the poor bastard and demanding a fair trial. Captain- what was his name? Captain Starkweather, yes, he ordered to abandon the pirate vessel that they’ve seized, but not before anything functioning on board was destroyed. Captain Starkweather was a vicious bastard. Even if the wind had picked up, Alec wouldn’t be able to sail, cursed to drift and die a slow death. He closed his eyes trying to focus on his spiralling mind. His name was Alexander Lightwood. He was a soldier of the Clave. He wouldn’t die abandoned by his crew like some unwanted pet. He wouldn’t let them… It was getting harder to breathe. He was dizzy, and everything around him was hot and dry, and his skin seemed like paper, and he felt his mouth resemble a dried out fruit. He knew he was dying, even though he didn't really feel like it anymore. He was just tired. His muscles stopped actually aching the day before, and his stomach seemed to have settled with the absence of food. He was just so god damn tired. Surely, if he just rested for a bit, he'd be able to get up and scout the horizon one more time. He just needed to close his eyes. A lone bird was circling above him, and Alec thought, if the bastards had left him anything resembling a weapon, he’d have shot it down already, probably, only prolonging his inevitable death. He still would have fought to stay alive. Before sliding into the sweet embrace of the enclosing darkness, he also thought of his siblings. They'd fight too, tooth and nail, just like Jace fought his last day on duty. Just like Izzy fought every day proving wrong anyone who expected any less from her for being a lady. God, how he missed them both. He just needed to rest, and then, of course, he'd get up and he'd fight, and he'd survive. For them he'd do anything, really. Right after he rested...

*

When he came to, the first thing he noticed was the movement. The ship was moving steadily, the waves rocking it back and forth. There was a cold cloth over his head, and someone was humming lightly, the tune repetitive, one of those songs you’d hear stumbling in a tavern close to midnight when everyone was drunk and happy. Alec opened his eyes. It was still hard to breathe, but it was comparatively better. The sheets underneath him were smooth and cooling on the skin, and he didn’t feel like he was about to rip in half with the next movement. He tried to sit, but his body seemed all limp and ached all over, so he fell back with a weak helpless moan. The humming stopped. “You’re awake,” a voice announced, and then there was a man next to him, helping him up gently. He made sure Alec was sitting comfortably and handed him a wooden cup, the cloth was discarded carelessly. “Drink that, but slowly, mhm,” the man said not letting go of the cup in case Alec’d drop it. “There you go, you should be back on your feet in no time.” Alec gulped and promptly broke into a coughing fit. The man waited patiently and then gave him some more water. Finally, Alec managed to take a proper breath and look around. “Where am I?” he asked, his voice hoarse as if he’s eaten a bucket of sand, “Who are you?” “I’ll tell you,” the man promised, “but try to not freak out, hm?” Alec looked back at him apprehensively. He couldn’t do much, obviously, but the word choice on itself seemed suspicious enough. The man wasn’t dressed as a sailor. He looked more like one of the young lords that frequented salons and high-class dinners, but not just any lord, an eccentric one at best. The waistcoat over his undershirt had elaborate embroidery all over and the colour seemed most unusual, almost purple. His breeches were only a shade darker. And there was a bright red justaucorp draped over the back of his chair. Only people that dressed like that at sea were pirates. Their grand fuck-you to the upper-classes that enforced the clothing separation so much. “This vessel is known as the Munkar,” the man said, watching for his reaction. “It’s captained by-” “Raphael Santiago,” Alec said slowly. He knew of that ship alright. Raphael Santiago was a notorious pirate. Young and ruthless, and scary, or so people said. His crew was part of the armada that stormed Tortuga three years ago. He was one of the pirates behind Jace’s death. He was the one Starkweather was after. “You’ve gone so very pale, dear,” the man said carefully. “I assume, you’re familiar with the name.” Alec nodded weakly. His head was starting to hurt again. “Are you- You aren’t him though,” Alec said slowly, focusing on the man’s face. His features were sharp, skin slightly tanned, bright almost golden eyes contoured with black lines. His expression was careful, though, as if he was trying not to scare Alec off. Not like he could do much in his current state, but nonetheless. Alec thought he looked vaguely familiar, but he was certain he hasn’t seen any pictures of him before. “No,” the man said softly. “But I travel with Raphael often and as a favour to me he agreed to circle back and save you. And we were also looking for you before, so there.” “But I don’t know you,” Alec said. “And how did you even- there was no wind, how did you get close-” “Well,” the man cleared his throat, “all the legends are true, aren’t they? You’ve probably heard rumours of Raphael’s crew.” Alec nodded. Of course, he had. There were a great many things passed around about that crew. It was said that the notorious crew of the Munkar made a deal with the Devil and exchanged their souls for the wind to always play to their favour. It was said a witch was sailing with them, turning the tide whenever Santiago needed it, that there was no way the Munkar has escaped that many ordeals with not a scratch on it with no magical intervention. The man that they’ve captured was the one accused of it! It was said that captain Raphael Santiago wasn’t even human, that the seas themselves spurted him out, and that he couldn’t step on dry land because of it fearing horrible death. That last one was called a curse, and some believed Santiago also spread it onto his crew. “Some of them are true,” the man said, “we have our way around the water.” Alec laid back down slowly watching him, as he continued. “Your crew abandoned you when you tried to do the right thing. That’s no way to die.” “How do you know that?” “Don’t you recognise me?” the man chuckled and turned his face left and right as if that way Alec’d see him better. Alec squinted for a moment and then stared, eyes wide in shock. It couldn’t be- No wonder he didn’t recognise him. The man in front of him was dressed to the nines, all soft smiles and smooth voice. Last time Alec has seen him was a bit short of a week ago, and then he was strapped to a mast, clothes ripped, face bloodied, about to be tortured for whatever Captain Starkweather thought he could get out of him and grinning manically about it. “How did you-” “I have my ways,” the man said with another smile. It should have looked sinister, but Alec was right, the man wasn’t hard to look at. “But I was very impressed with your courage.” Alec huffed, “A lot of good that did me.” “Oh, believe me, it did!” the man took his hand gently, his excitement barely contained, “It is so very rare these days for a hunter to show even a modicum of mercy towards a pirate, but you didn’t just do that, you stood against your whole crew in order to protect, well, me! And you didn’t even know me!” “I still don’t, to be fair,” Alec said weakly. “I knew you’d make a fine addition to our crew,” the man ignored his jab. “We were looking so very hard for you, you’ll have to forgive my excitement. You’re everything I’ve hoped for and then some!” That made Alec eyeball him again, with suspicion this time. He thought he might have heard him wrong. “Sorry, did you just?” It was like the man was having two conversations with Alec at once, both out loud. “Ah,” the man exclaimed as if he just realised the sheer scale of Alec’s confusion, “right!” He turned to the door and snapped his fingers. Blue sparks flew out and floated right through the room, towards the corridor. Alec’s eyes bulged. “Your captain accusing me of witchcraft?” the man said innocently. “I’m a warlock. I’m one of the reasons the Munkar is so successful in her voyages!” “That’s… magical,” Alec said, as he followed the sparks that floated right through the wooden door. “Why, thank you, Alexander,” the man said, obviously rather pleased with himself. “I still don’t even know your name,” Alec said. It was hardly fair, because the way the man pronounced his name sounded borderline indecent, and Alec was not ready to explore that at the moment. Before his magical saviour had a chance to answer though, the door burst open letting in a dishevelled looking man with an almost manic expression on his face. “Magnus! What ha-” Alec thought he stopped breathing. The man was blond and heaving, and his clothes looked all dirty as if he was busy cleaning a canon or something before bursting in, there was stubble on his chin that would have made him almost unrecognizable if not for his bright, mismatched eyes. It was Jace. It couldn’t be, but it was. “Alec!” Alec was still staring, when Jace wrapped him in a bone-crushing hug, words pouring out of him in endless nonsense. How he couldn’t believe they’ve met again. How he’s missed Alec and Izzy. How he didn’t believe his eyes when Magnus brought him on board. “You’re alive,” Alec said, grasping at his dirtied shirt, hugging him back, “Jace, you’re alive.” His head seemed empty, his ears were ringing, but compared to the terror he has felt not two days ago faced with inevitable death, the joy seemed almost less bearable. He was breathing in a hastened gulps, and he didn’t think he’d ever let go. He didn’t think it was possible. Jace was alive. Alec didn’t care how; he didn’t even care if it was all a magic trick. The pure relief made him feel as if he was about to explode into a million pieces, too full to contain it. “Man, are you crying?” Jace asked, finally, looking into his face, his own eyes dump. “You look exactly the same!” “Starved and close to death?” Alec chuckled, whipping at his eyes. “God, I can’t believe you’re here.” Then he realised something else. “And you’re a pirate now,” he said slowly. Jace nodded enthusiastically, completely oblivious to Alec’s sudden discomfort. “Yeah, well, look at you! A soldier of the Clave! Mom must be very proud of you, Alec.” Alec scoffed despite himself. “Lots of good that did me,” he muttered. “So, the pirate thing?” “Man, I’ve been trying to track you down for ages now!” Jace kept patting his shoulders as if he was worried Alec was doing to dissolve into thin air the second he let go. “Raphael is a dick, but he saved my life that day on Tortuga.” Magnus coughed and muttered, “That’s Captain Santiago, Chase.” Jace waved him off, “Yeah, Captain Santiago is a dick,” he backtracked, “but he saved me. By the time I came to, we were half way across the world! Magnus here patched me up, and well- Let’s say there were a lot of reasons for me to stick around.” “Why didn’t you contact us? We thought you were killed that day,” Alec said. Mostly he was concerned Isabelle was going to murder their brother for real when she’d find out. “I couldn’t!” Jace’s expression fell. “I would have died that day, and it wasn’t a pirate that struck the blow.” Magnus – who, apparently, wasn’t just magical and nicely dressed, but had an unusual name to go with it – cleared his throat, making both men look up. “As heart-warming as I find that reunion,” he said, and his wide smile was bright evidence of that, “Alexander here should get some rest before Raphael decides to make an appearance.” Jace groaned. “You’re gonna hate that guy,” he promised. “How dare you,” Magnus muttered, he was still smiling though. “He did take Alexander on board!” “Only because you asked him,” Jace said surly. “Raphael would start a fucking war if you hinted at one.” He rolled his eyes for good measure. Magnus waved him off. “Nonsense,” he snapped his fingers, and another cup floated into his hands, “Raphael knows better than that. Here, drink this, Alexander.” He handed the cup over, and Alec took it absent-mindedly, too fascinated with the exchange. Jace seemed completely at ease with both Magnus and his magic. Last time they spoke, Jace claimed he’d hunt down the Dumah, which was another notorious pirate ship, and re-claim her for the Clave, and now here he was, obviously, distracted from some kind of work, talking to a pirate with the same brashness and cockiness that he had three years ago. They bickered, while Alec drank whatever was in the cup. It tasted like tea, but immediately he felt an urge to lay down and close his eyes. “One day Raphael will snap at you for your insubordination.” “He can bite me,” Jace grinned. “I’m too precious for this crew!” “That can be arranged,” Magnus muttered with an eye-roll. Then he noticed Alec’s sleepy blinking and shooed at Jace. “Time to let Alexander sleep, Chase.” “Not my name,” Jace scoffed as if it was some kind of an old joke, then turned to Alec and gave him another hug. “I’ll come later and we’ll talk, alright, buddy? You should listen to your doctor and rest more.” Alec nodded, his eyelids heavy already. Jace left, leaving Magnus, who busied himself with adjusting Alec’s blanket. “You’re very kind,” Alec mumbled and sighed. “That’s nice.” He didn’t realise it before the tea, but he was exhausted. The emotional wreck that was dropped onto him in a matter of several days was a bit too much even for someone trained to endure from his very childhood. Magnus smiled at him yet again. He had a very nice smile, when there was no blood smeared across his face. “The easiest thing in the world, Alexander,” he seemed to develop a fascination with Alec’s name. Alec didn’t really mind. “Not true,” he countered, his eyes already closed. “The world is a cruel place.” “Oh,” Magnus petted his hair, which Alec found rather nice too, “cruel it may be, but it is also whatever we make of it, isn’t that right? You’ve found your brother today.” “More like,” Alec mumbled, “he found me. And you. You found me.” “That’s right,” Magnus said softly. “I do hope you’d stay with us. Not that we can keep you, but Jace is here, isn’t he? Besides, the Clave’ve probably already branded you a traitor. Wouldn’t you like to restore your good name?” There was no answer, so he looked down to find Alec quick asleep. Magnus huffed softly, still stroking Alec’s hair. He couldn’t wait for all the adventures this promised to bring along.

*

[oveliagirlhaditright]

I would absolutely love to work on those GIFs for you. Please send me all the ideas you have. I re-watched the series a couple of months ago and have some things in mind, but I think I need to refresh again. So yes, your ideas on the transgenics and anything else. Helps me get started on it. Thanks for the reblog and I will try and get the Max and Logan one out soon. You can reply to this with your ideas!

Oh my gosh. Thank you so much! And sorry in advance if I go overboard with this. Hahaha. And if I do, feel free to ignore me and only do the ones of these you want:)

I’ve actually done a few screenshot Dark Angel things that aren’t the greatest. So if you wanted to remake some of those as gifs, I wouldn’t mind at all. https://oveliagirlhaditright.tumblr.com/post/188483190012/i-know-brainiac-is-arguably-the-most-hated, https://oveliagirlhaditright.tumblr.com/post/186108463327/i-saw-alec-saying-the-move-your-furniture-thing.

And then some other ideas I had… uhh. It’d be cute–if you wanted to, I mean–if you gifed all the times Max and Logan held hands, or almost kissed… Or to do a comparison gifset between when Max says in the finale season of season one (And Jesus Brought a Casserole) “I’d kiss you, but I have to keep my head in the game”, with her in season two saying to Logan (Proof of Purchase): “Thanks, Logan. I’d hug you, but-”

Max kind of posing with the pool stick and smiling after Logan says he’s at Crash to see her in Fugheddaboutit is really cute. And so is the scene in Harbor Lights when they’re just smiling at each other when Max is in the hospital bed. Or when Max is telling Logan, in Gill Girl, how she wants this story to have a happy ending… and you can just tell he knows–without her saying it–that she wants the merepeople to have a happy ending, since they can’t right now. And before that in Gill Girl, when Logan is calling Max… and then hears her ringtone in his apartment, and then sees her coming in with a mermaid slung over her shoulder as she says “I’ll hit you back later!” That was funny. 

Logan’s speech about how it never mattered to him what Max was in Love Among the Runes is good, as is the whole scene when he’s sticking up for the transgenics that they do have souls, in Dawg Day Afternoon. And if you wanted to do a “Logan character development” post you could, in comparing Haven (”How can I even think of having a good time, when the man who orchestrated the shootings was a cop… and he not only got away with it, but got promoted for it, too?!”) with Proof of Purchase (”Well, you can only fight corruption for son long before you have to kick back and relax.”)

You could also do Max character development ones if you wanted! Like, in the Pilot when she’s telling Logan that people are looking to kill her, put her in a cage, or turn her into a science experiment or all three… and that she’s gotten by through keeping her head down and wants to keep it that way, and not help people… with the season two finale (Freak Nation), where she’s saying “Where will you go? I can’t force anyone to stay. But I’m tired of running, hiding, and being afraid. Aren’t you tired of running? Of being in being in darkness? Don’t you want to feel the sun on your face? It’s time to make a stand, right here and right now. They created us, and it’s time that they owned up to that instead of trying to sweep us away like garbage” and that sort of thing. Or how in the Pilot (even though she’s partially lying here) when she tells Logan that she doesn’t blame herself at all for what happened to him, and that it’s on him “one-hundred percent”. But then in Meow she and Original Cindy have this conversation: Cindy: The truth is, you love Logan. Max: We’re not even like that, and the fact is we both would have been better off if we’d never even meet. Cindy: Please. Max: He has to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair because of me. Cindy: I didn’t see you on TV, pulling no trigger. Max: Yeah, but I could’ve protected him and I didn’t and that’s on me “one-hundred percent”.

I also love how Max and Logan give each other a piece that the other was missing: Logan suggesting that Max choose a birthday (C.R.E.A.M), and then her giving him back his mother’s locket in Art Attack. Or also how I think it was in Max going to the wedding with Logan in Art Attack, that she finally chose a last name for herself “Guevara”, and then began using it from then on out.

I once did a screenshot post (that I’ve since deleted), of Charlie telling Case the “storybook” version of Tinga’s life (this happens in Hit A Sista Back) that she’d told Charlie and Case (that neither of them had any idea was real at first), paired with Max incredulously saying to Bling about Logan in 411 on the DL, “I’ll go over and read him a bedtime story.” And then after that, I put Charlie telling Max and Logan in Hit A Sista Back, how he didn’t regret any of the time that he had with Tinga… and he’s essentially telling Max and Logan to get together there… and you can kind of tell by the way they’re looking at each other, that maybe they want this “bedtime story” for themselves, too. And if you wanted to remake this, you totally could:)

I also did another post in the past, that you could remake… Where Max says to Logan in C.R.E.A.M, that she’s surprised a high-minded, leftist, idealist like him would be okay with her greasing the enemies… and then paired it with her saying (in Prodigy) that she isn’t as high-minded as Logan is, with the idea that life is good and murder is bad, so she should have just let Lydecker go for that reason.

The scene where Original Cindy is talking to Max about Diamond at the end of Shorties in Love is really good overall, and is speaking of both the Max/Logan and Original Cindy/Diamond relationships, that could be cool to see gifed:)

You could also do a Max and Original Cindy comparison, where Max has to touch Logan’s hand through glass in Proof of Purchase and Original Cindy has to do that with Diamond in Shorties in Love.

Speaking of, any Original Cindy content–like with her and Max–would be awesome. I personally love the scene where they’re dunking the guy in the hot tub in Art Attack, being such a team, to get information out of him.

Gifs of Max being smart and a badass would also be great.

And just anything with Tinga, Brin, Syl, Jace, Jondy, and Mia would make me so happy.

You could even do a gifset that explains where the name of the show comes from: “Forever eyes, dark. Somebody’s angel” (the poem Logan made for Max in Shorties in Love) and Art Attack. Guy that Max Saves from Jumping Off a Building: “You’re the messenger, right?” Max: “Yeah?” Guy: “Well, I’ve never been much of a believer before… but you personally coming here to straighten me out like this. Thank you”. Max, smiling: “I’ll see about getting you that package back” (he thought she was an angel).

So these are just some of the crazy Dark Angel ideas I have. Feel free to use any or none of them. And thank you so much again:) And if you need me to try and explain any of this better, I can.

Edit: You could also gif what I believe is the closest we ever got to Max and Logan saying they were together in this series (aside from the times they told each other “I love you”, I mean. Or at least started to say it). Max saying angrily in “Boo” after Rafer insinuated Logan was her ex: “He’s not my ex! …I mean, we’re not like that.” And then Mia asking Logan in “Fugheddaboutit”: “You’re Max’s boyfriend, right?” And him saying, “Something like that.” You could also maybe have fun gifing all the times they said the ridiculous “we’re not like that” line, and then prove how untrue that was. LOL.

Edit 2: I also loved the scenes we got that showed how much Max and Logan knew each other, and that they got to know each other even moreso in scenes we didn’t see. Like when Max is sad in one episode (though I don’t remember which one it is), that he sold a painting his grandmother had given him, I think, to try and find a cure for the Virus (and we hadn’t known that painting was from his grandmother before this). Or when in Gill Girl, Max knows so much about people in Logan’s family–like Bitsy–and is talking about them with him, even though the audience had never heard of them before. Or in Some Assembly Required, when Logan knew how much Zack being alive would mean to Max and is gently and somewhat excitedly telling her, “You’re brother’s alive, Max.” …And really, just how kind Logan was to Zack actually says a lot about his love for Max, since Zack was always cruel to him (and I say this as a Zack Stan).

Edit 3: You could also do a Space Needle journey: Max on the Space Needle in the Pilot, Max asking Logan about going on the Space Needle in Heat, but him refusing since he’s scared of heights… Them almost going together at the end of Rising, but not for some reason… And then them finally getting there on Jesus Brought a Casserole together, and then Logan alone on the Space Needle at the end of And Jesus Brought a Casserole–echoing what Max said in the Pilot. Also, speaking of Max and Logan being on top of buildings: Max being on top of Logan’s penthouse in the Pilot, and Logan being on top of it in She Ain’t Heavy (as it seems he finally got over his fear of heights).

Edit 4: Gifs of Max interacting with kids could also be cool, since she loved them.

[ralfstrashcan]

3x18 Reaction / Commentary

Anxious feeling of imminent doom in my gut? Check. Skipping breakfast in favor of running to my laptop like a starving person? Check. Chances of surviving this episode with my sanity intact? Uhhh.... Well here goes nothing.

But one more thing before we get started (Does anyone wanna get out? Yeah, me!!!! Okay sorry.)

Who's this mysterious “Alex” person?? A new player on the board???

Alright alright, I'm stalling, I know. It's weird, last week couldn't pass quick enough but now I really don't wanna click the play button... okay anyway you're probably not here to read my angsting, so. Deep breath and here goes.

In terms of putting my nerves at ease this is working out pretty good. I love Becky, okay, and her sibling ship with Simon and the Sneak Peek made me real happy and I can't wait to see more of those two together (especially considering this'll probably be her last appearance on the show). So, yeah Team Lewis! (Also that comment about them and Clary never missing a Halloween together? I need all the kid fics!!!)

Lol dude I mean you literally died for knowing about it, but sure, make an understatement XD Also, “all the way from Florida”??? Last thing I knew about her she was lying in a hospital bed a week ago (aka 3A)? When did she get released? And relocated? I missed that???

:D :D :D <3<3<3

Queen Izzy :))))))) btw those kids had seriously lacking survival skills if you ask me. That wasn't normal, right? And where were their supervisors??

Effing f-i-n-a-l-l-y.

Also, Magnus with the deflecting again as soon as he's recovered just the tiniest bit is both painfully ic and also just painful </3

Ugh, can you believe Clace entered the Malec scene even though they must have felt it was a bad time and deranged it with their flirting? Unfair. In any case I agree, Clary was always and will always be an idiot XD haha okay sorry, I don't really mean that (only like, 83%) it's just the setup was too good to pass it up ;) I mean even Alec laughed at Jace calling her an idiot so I'm well within my rights to do it, too XD

Thanks, Alec, for sabotaging the one shot at open communication you had. I mean, I want to believe he does it because he realizes Magnus is back to his deflecting self and prodding will get him nowhere, but uhm, could he try for longer than three seconds before giving up? Is he really gonna let Magnus off the hook so easily and do something stupid and reckless instead?? *sigh* BUT ALSO HIS FRAKKING FACE OKAY I CAN'T

“Back from the Plot Fold”

Alec “Tact” Lightwood looooool

“Bitch I worked on this performance for centuries how dare you”

SO. MANY. QUESTIONS.

sdfshfsjdkfjsdf I love the way he talks okay. Exquisite. (Also he has a birthmark on his lip. It's really distracting. Am I implying Asmodeus is hot? Maybe. You can't prove a thing.)

............................................................your self-confident didn't make any progress since season 1, did it, Alec? *sigh* I mean he's basically agreeing with Asmodeus that this is what will happen if their situation doesn't change.

Okay what is structure, let me just yell my impressions of this scene at you. 1) Both of their acting is stellar. Love all the little body language cues, especially Asmodeus's mocking facial expressions. 2) “Return what you stole” and Asmodeus protesting it because clearly he had a “fair deal” with Magnus. 3) Alec breaking eye contact whenever Asmodeus lands a hit (“One he already regrets.” “You make him vulnerable, weak.”) 4) The fact that Alec protests the potential-line with “We love each other.” I was confused at first but when you think about it Alec says that they help each other access their full potential by loving each other and that's a beautiful sentiment. 5) Of course then Asmodeus lands another hit with “Then I'm afraid you will be the death of him” and Alec is back to looking away.

Thank you, Alec, for not being a total idiot.

“...or else the deal is off.” Obviously. Thank you, Asmodeus, for not being a total idiot either.

.........did he just nod? I knew I was right making that 'total' italic, implying he's still somewhat of an idiot XD

sooooo pretttyyyyyyyyyyyyy

And I can't believed Clary missed Luke so much she visited him in prison a total of 0 times.

Look I'm weak and I dig the Jace-Luke-father-son-in-law-dynamic.

Also can we take a moment to appreciate the fact that Alec is able to function as Head of the Institue even though he has to make the hardest decision of his life at the same time?? Just saying. Guy knows how to handle his shadowhunter responsibility. If only he was as capable in handling other things and omg this is not an innuendo you naughty people, I meant emotional intelligence goddammit.

I mean, he's not wrong? The way he cares about her is uniquely twisted, so.

.........................is Alec having 2x12 flashbacks? Because I sure am.

Hmmmm always admiring Clary's screaming skills :)

*sigh* I mean she didn't just SAY intense pain for a short while? Why am I even bothering.

The scientist has spoken lol.

1) They had a whole underground basement full of tons and tons of that serum, right? If those are all made up of nanoparticles then I really really wonder how big the Glorious splitter was that they extracted the serum from. Since, you know, that whole stash was supposed to be enough for the Downworlders all over the world. Wtf 2) I guess “self-destructing” that basement is gonna come back to roost them and they need to recover the original sword to eliminate the Evil Rune, right???? haha

Asmodeus wrote: Hurry up pretty boy, our deal isn't on the table forever ;)

I'm actually impressed Jace remembered to ask Alec about the proposal. You get some more diligence starlets, Jace <3

OMG ALEC ARE YOU SHITTING ME ARE YOU SHITTING ME ARE YOU SHITTING ME *sigh* I mean, those two situations are obviously totally comparable, right? I for my part am, again, having severe 2x12 flashbacks, where Alec asked Jace's council about something that Jace totally wasn't equipped to answer. *SIGH*

And I guess Jace isn't suspicious because of Alec's super suspicious behavior, right?????? Ugh.

The sad part is, Alec will probably see that as confirmation that he should go through with it because he doesn't want to be selfish. So while yay, Alec seeking council, he does it in the worst way possible :( at least I got some parabatai feels out of it :/

On the one hand I'm glad she sees it that way* on the other hand this is clearly supposed to be the influence of the rune, so that's kinda undermining her statement and making it even less credible. Thanks, show.

*Yes he was a victim, no he still carries some responsibility for his actions because free will is a thing and he's had some time on earth where he wasn't exactly coerced by anyone. Manipulated, yes. But he's aware of his agency and he should have used it better. I get that I'm asking for a lot here, maybe too much, and circumstances were always against him, but I'm also not absolving him of all his crimes.

Magnus deflecting because that's what he does. God forbid a scene that could be about him actually ends up being about him instead of a side pairing I couldn't care less about. *sigh*

Also, I'm not exactly sure if Magnus really thinks Alec thought being around Maryse could help him, or if he just said that as another means to deflect because honestly, the way Alec suggested to Magnus he go to Maryse was more the here-go-see-your-babysitter-approach than anything else, especially because he basically cut of the conversation they where having before Clace interrupted. *SIGH*

WELL I COULD

YOU NO FRIKKIN SAY, MARYSE

“My lips are sealed.... especially about my issues ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

THE DISDAIN AHAHHAHAHA CATCH ME WHEEZING ON THE GROUND

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SEELIE QUEEN IS QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is this.... actually......... a scene with Alec and Izzy???? HELL YEAH

Okay, words. First off, I LOVE that Alec spills all the beans, and to Izzy, the one emotionally capable Lightwood. I mean, yay Jalec and all, but it's an universally acknowledged truth that Lightwood Men seem to be pretty unable to handle their emotions in a productive way.

Second off, the music playing in the background? Is the one from the Malec Breakup Scene from 2x18. Yay mood reference, I mean. Thanks for that lovely detail, show. (Hahahaha I don't even know if I'm sarcastic or not because it's so witty but on the other hand it's just cruelly twisting the knife like r u for real man give me a damn break.)

Third off, I love basically every line of this dialogue. The fact that Alec (or anyone really) FINALLY acknowledges that Magnus gave up his powers and saved Jace for Alec. Alec's argument: “Magnus sacrificed everything so I could feel whole and now I have the chance to do the same for him.” Also that wording, “a chance”? Not an obligation, not a repayment of a dept. A chance. Because he loves Magnus and this is his chance to fix it. (In his eyes at least, pssssh.)

And Izzy's intent “He wouldn't want this. He loves you so much.” So valid. And less biased (aka skewed by shitty self-esteem) than Alec's assessment of the situation.

Also this

Ouch, just. Ouch. So ic.

Also this

Izzy asking all the right questions. The way Alec looks away means “No” and the determined way he meets her gaze again after means “But that doesn't matter.” Very good scene.

(Honestly the only thing I would have wished for is that Izzy is a little more firm in her assertion that Magnus wouldn't want this and she like, tries to change Alec's mind instead of just accepting his decision.)

hehehe :)

The same time you moved to Florida apparently.

hahaahahha <3<3<3 kick-ass sister material

.........<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 this deserves so much recognition okay. Since we all know drinking away his problems is Magnus's No 1 coping mechanism. Too bad he'll be pushed into his liquor again by Alec unwisely breaking up with him at the end of the episode (because I daren't dream of a change of heart on Alec's side.)

Also is this the part where Maryse blabs out Alec's proposal plans??

Ugh yay, so after Maryse reassuring Magnus that they are all here for him I guess the breakup is just gonna get 5 shades uglier. Yaaay.

Love that necklace damn.

Obligatory Sizzy moment in front of Becky so she can call Simon out on it later: Check. Just glad this role doesn't fall to Raphael. (Also you bet your ass I chose Becky's line as a picture for this because I'm really that petty.)

Also omg, I just peeked into the German dubbing because obviously the Count von Count pun doesn't work because the words for Count and the word for counting aren't the same here and the guy is named Graf Zahl. And just skdjfslkdjfklsdjfkld Simon's line “That does sound really made up” is honest to God transated with “You're right, I just made him up” like oh my God who is in charge of translating this and why are they so incompetent honestly!!!!!!!! W H Y

Lol that's gotta be the first time in his life that he called her Isabelle. Probably because she was slacking off during patrol.

AAAAAND I'M WHEEZING AGAIN AHAHHA HER OFFENDED FACE Honestly the seelie queen and Becky should start a comedy spin-off, I'd be watching the shit out of that XD

HAHAHAHAH HAVE MERCY XD XD XD Then again, can you blame Simon? Izzy is sooooo droolworthy.

1) She's gonna let Alec, Jace and Clary (two and a half shadowhunters ahaha) take on a whole nest of demons alone? Instead of backing them up? Okay???

2) Why they telling them that??? As far as they are concerned Simon and Becky are civilians, not their parents.

?????? NO SHE SHOULD TAKE BECKY WITH HER!!!!!!!! CAN YOU IMAGINE BECKY TOURING THE INSTITUTE? BECKY MARVELING AT ALL THE UNREALISTIC SHADOWHUNTER TECH?? BECKY KIDDING AROUND IN THE LAB??? I WAS ROBBED!!!

:)))) even Jace breaking out the comedy :D :D :D I approve

Those are some nice wings. Not perfect, but very very nice.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Okay, Parabatai Fight Scene!!! 1) Jace again with his axes, nice.

2) Being sassy instead of, idk, picking up his weapons: Check.

3) True dat, but uh, Jace, what was the plan if Alec hadn't shown up? Inviting Drevak Queen out on a date?

4) I mean, why shoot one when you can shoot five, right? Good motto. But I still kind of want an explanation how two of those arrows could land in the Drevak Queen's head and the other three in her chest, like, what are physics anyway amiright?

5) Shot meant to make Jace look heroic when really, since we earlier learnt that killing the Drevak Queen kills all her spawn*, this was just Alec doing Jace's work for him XD

*Uh, yeah what the hell is up with that. Chitauri Genetic Defect or something? *sigh*

*Feelings of terrible foreboding intensify*

sssssssssssssssssssssssudden

Look, I agree. I just don't think Maia could really comprehend / accept that so fast (and off-screen) because ugh reasons, too tired to repeat myself again *waves hand unhelpfully* but whatever, I can accept this. I made my peace with it.

1) Last time I checked those cells were secured with a combination lock thingy.

2) Thanks Lanaia for sabotaging Sizzy, I'll be sure to send you a gift basket (or, if what I think will happen happens, some flowers for your grave lol).

*snorts* Reminds me of Hannibal who was always making cannibal puns at people and no one noticed XD Also, her knocking Jace out was really dumb? I mean, he wouldn't have stopped her from saving Jonathan because, uh, that's saving her own neck, too. And if she'd portaled them both to the cell she could have disposed of him there way easier, locking him up – since apparently she didn't plan to kill him, and that nice straightjacket would have kept him from alerting the other Shadowhunters way longer than that pipe over the head. So, wholly unnecessary. I mean, in a way it's nice to know that Demonic Clary isn't smarter than Regular Clary.

Dude she's literally wielding a spear, how dumb are you.

Aaaaaand there goes my order to the nearest funeral wreath shop XD

Look I have questions (which, okay, I should have asked sooner but what even is continuity right). When that weird gratifying wing dream sequence started I thought it was Clary tapping into the rune connection and it was the real Jonathan communicating with her. When Jace entered the play field it was clear at least some part must be fake because Jace sure as heck wasn't unconscious / in trance at the time and later didn't give any indication that he participated in some creepy contest for Clary's affections. But now Jonathan is surprised by this, too? He, too, was a product of Clary's imagination? I have so many questions, first of all, why the wings? And the really cheap back-white-symbolism? Also, why did Clary feel so drawn to Jonathan if this was all in her own mind? Was it the influence of the Evil Rune? Does the Evil Rune have a user interface that's shaped to look like Jonathan? Does that mean Jonathan has a Clary-shaped interface??? I need answers.

Ugh. Let's make this long and painful, shall we.

OF COURSE IN THE ONE SCENE WHERE SHIT WILL GO DOWN THEY DON'T FAIL AT CASUAL INTIMACY THANK YOU FOR  N O T H I N G

Let's not talk about the fact that the thought, Alec could mean anything but a break together from everything that's been going on, doesn't even cross Magnus's mind because no. Noooooo. I'd rather talk about how absolutey awesome both of their acting is. For Alec I really like the way he moves his eyes, like the gaze darting around alternating with the rigid stare. For Magnus, uh, everything, just like, his whole face is perfection?? Yeah, that works.

The way he interrupts because he just needs to get this over with as quickly as possible.

Dammit, he does this eyelid dip here, it's not a blink, it's just his eyelids twitching down for a second because this is like a slap in the face. And then he turns and takes a step away because his instinct is to run from this because what is this, this can't be

“Is this about last night? Because I'm going to quit drinking.”

Magnus “forever apologizing for being an 'inconvenience'” Bane, final installment.

Dammit, his face. And again with the deflecting, trivializing his feelings, anything to keep this conversation from going where he thinks it's going.

*EYE ROLL* Sorry but you don't get to play that card after being effin obtuse for 7 episodes, Alec. Nope. Nope.

Magnus, his usual walls rudely ripped away. He has no chance but to admit how shitty he's feeling. And if it wasn't for the circumstances I'd say “yay, finally some communication” but well.

“Fine. I'm in pain,” he says, and Alec turns away, breaking eye contact for a moment because the final confirmation is too much for him for a moment.

I love that Magnus doesn't deliver this line meekly. He's worked up, sure, but there's also a confidence when talking about their relationship. Breaking up is an unrealistic concept to him in that moment because it's so absurd. It's not fixing anything so why would it happen? Makes no sense. *insert weeping sounds*

Brutal and efficient. Very ic.

Damn how does even his blink convey so much vulnerability??? (Somewhere Lexa is nodding approvingly.) (Also why didn't I find gif sets of this :c)

“You said there's nothing I can do to make it better.”

There's an audible difference in his voice, because this part is true and he's not lying. The controlled monotone isn't there anymore. This is his real despair in the face of not being able to do anything to help Magnus.

“It's not your job to make it better.”

Again, if this was a constructive conversation it would be a great step in the right direction. But sadly it isn't, and so this is too little too late.

“Well, what am I supposed to do? Just stand by and watch you suffer for the rest of our lives?”

Alec is still speaking the truth, and this is his motivation to go through with it. Because a) he believes what Magnus said about never being happy again without his magic (sidenote, he didn't, in fact, say that, he said it might never pass (meaning being affected by the magic loss) and he's not happy at the moment, which isn't the same as he'll definitely surely never be happy again without his magic, but whatever) and b) he's sure he doesn't mean all that much to Magnus. He's his current love, but that's about it. Nothing special, not worth leaving such devastating traces in Magnus's life and he certainly doesn't mean as much to Magnus as Magnus means to him. And especially from that second part stems his gravely false assessment of the situation which in the course of consideration leads him to the conclusion that breaking Magnus's heart will hurt less in the long run than him not having his magic. There's also the fact that be probably didn't think about how him doing this to Magnus will confirm every last insecurity Magnus ever had about not being lovable, because I can't believe he would have gone through with this if he'd thought of that. Or at least, he would have been visibly more torn about it, maybe even talked out of it by Izzy, etc. But it's ic for Alec not to think like that, because in a way I guess he loves Magnus too much to really understand that Magnus has these doubts. And Magnus mostly playing his vulnerabilities close to his chest isn't working in his favor here either.

“This isn't you. You're not this selfish.”

This is what I mean. If Alec was less convinced that he's doing the right thing this line might have shaken him out of it. Honestly, I half hoped he'd object this, consequentally incriminate himself and Magnus would catch on that something was going on. But ofc that didn't happen.

The spark line, just. Ouch. Again, very clinical and minimalistc. The way Alec stares, his voice back to being monotone, the way he clenches his jaw. And then his work here is done and he's ready to leave.

It only gets worse from there. Magnus, frozen in disbelieve because this can't possibly be true, and then he starts begging and it breaks my heart every single time okay. To see him reduced to this desperation is just cruel.

I still can't help but note the way Alec readily turns around before Magnus has competely turned around himself. I think he was on the brink of giving in.

The way Magnus holds on to him, hands fluttering over his arms, shoulders, cheeks. The way Alec can't even look at him for the barest second, eyes closed, breath going heavy. Magnus's everything. Just kill me now.

And let's not talk about their kisses and Magnus's whispered words because no. There's nothing to say to that except perfection. Intense, top notch emotion portrayal on both parts.

Then Alec pulls away (how???? gotta admire commitment and an iron will when you see it but boy is it misplaced) and Magnus's hands tremble because this can't be happening, this can't possibly be real.

Note that Alec doesn't look him in the eyes once because he knows if he did, it'd all be over. Also note the look of utter betrayal on Magnus's face. It's not just hurt and heartbreak, it's betrayal because this is what this is. Alec promised him something, made him believe that he could trust in him, in them, and now he's going back on his word.

Well, this was fun, let's never do it again.

Look, I don't have the nerve for this anymore, so I'll keep it short and in no particular order: - Asmodeus is ass powerful and manages to distance-summon himself, yay, nice to know that the one time a shadowhunter doesn't act stupid and impulsive it still doesn't pay off. - Asmodeus killing pissed off warlock lady was both obvious and unnecessary. - His smile is creepy. - “My son needs me.” MY ASS - He still needs to support himself on the back of the chair because he's a weak bitch hahaha.

Conclusion: *sounds of despair*

I just watched the 3x19 promo and.... they're really gonna end Malec on a train wreck this season, aren't they?? Oh God. They hoped they'd have a forth season to work through it and that's why they served themselves with issues and second helpings of extra issues, and since s4 isn't a thing we're gonna get an unsatisfying as hell 2x20-style resolution in the finale. God please say I'm wrong but like. Arrgghhhh.

(Also, credit where credit is due: “Before we get started, does anyone wanna get out?” is the line from Captain America in TWS before the elevator fight.)

[eric-bogosian]

you should see me in a crown.

 Can you remember something that doesn’t exist?

Alec Wayland sometimes has flashbacks - of people he doesn't know, and places he's never seen. Living in small town New Jersey with his brother, Jace, and their father, Michael, the only thing Alec has to look forward to is graduation in three weeks.

Until a DNA test changes it all.

Because it proves that Alec isn't Alec Wayland. He's Alexander Gideon Lightwood, the lost prince of Idris. And if he doesn't learn how to properly rule a country soon, he could lose his title and the throne - for good.

read on ao3.

♕ chapter one ♕

The world around him is fuzzy, but familiar. That happens sometimes.

This dream.

It always comes to him when he’s least expecting it. Sometimes when he’s awake, too, he’ll see it. A passing car, the touch of the wind, a whisper; anything can trigger it. Almost like a memory.

But it can’t be. He’s never been here.

Can you remember something that doesn’t exist?

It always starts the same: he’s in a room, he knows that much. It’s wide, like it could stretch on forever. Sunlight streams down from high windows, but not enough of it. Like it’s rising. Or setting.

And he’s not alone. There is someone else, a child. They call out to him. They laugh. Their voice is high, and their face is fuzzy. Everything is fuzzy.

And then Alec shrinks to their size. And the more he shrinks, the further away the child is. And the fuzzier they are. And the darker it gets.

And then he hears a voice; it belongs to a person that wasn’t there before. And the child stops playing. And Alec knows, in a moment, they will be gone for good.

The voice calls his name, and it sounds wrong. And dream Alec isn’t scared. But real Alec is. He’s frightened.

And then the voice speaks again. “I love you, my son.”

But it’s a lie. And that’s how Alec knows it’s not real.

And then he wakes up.

There’s only a moment’s worth of silence between Alec opening his eyes, and his alarm clock going off. He groans at the same time his brother, Jace, does, sticking out his hand to find the snooze button and knocking things off their shared nightstand in the process.

“Turn it off,” Jace whines from the next bed, turning over onto his stomach and burrowing further under the covers.

“’m trying,” Alec slurs before his fingers find the right switch, pressing it and settling the room into silence once again.

The numbers on the alarm read 6:00, and with barely open eyes, Alec wills them not to move again so he can go back to sleep. It’s still dark out; sunrise won’t be for almost another hour, and the room is chilly, though by noon, Alec knows he’ll be sweating. With only two more weeks until June, the weather in New Jersey was finally starting to cool off.

With a fleeting thought, Alec wonders if he’ll be able to go to the beach this year.

They move around a lot, Alec, Jace, and their dad. They never stay in one place for too long. Never long enough to settle down, never long enough to make friends. Never long enough to see the ocean.

Sometimes, when they’re moving again and their car is crossing a bridge, any bridge, Alec stares at the water and pictures himself swimming away. He’d go somewhere he could see the beach every day. Somewhere he could feel the water between his toes and taste the salt on his skin.

This year will be different, he thinks. Because this year, he’ll be free.

Alec hears the door to his father’s bedroom open across the hall, and he glances at the clock again. 6:07.

The pounding on their bedroom door makes Alec jump, though Jace just whines again.

“Alec, Jace, are you up?” their father calls, though Alec doesn’t respond. He thinks about when the day will come where he won’t have to. He’ll be somewhere warm, and sunny, where he won’t ever have to take orders from anyone ever again.

“Answer me, please,” their father says, and though his voice is quieter, his tone isn’t.

“We’re up,” Alec calls back, and Jace throws his covers off with a huff, his hair sticking up everywhere as he sits up, annoyed.

“Meet me downstairs for breakfast. I’m making waffles!” their father calls, and the stairs creak as he makes their way down them.

They’ve lived in houses as big as small mansions, and apartments so tiny it could barely fit the three of them in there altogether. This house is decent, compared to the rest. It’s old, and every move you make, it makes one back. There’s no way to sneak around, not without someone knowing.

They all share a bathroom, and Jace and Alec share a bedroom. The kitchen seats the three of them easily, and the living room has old floral couches and chairs from the thrift store, with a TV that only gets local channels. The dining room is their father’s office, and he’s the only one allowed in there.

Alec can hear the running water of the kitchen sink, the pipes rattling as it flows, and Jace walks by his bed with a lopsided grin.

“Up and at ‘em,” he says with a mimicking voice, slapping Alec on the leg as he heads for the bathroom.

Alec waits until Jace has closed the door before he gets up, stretching and walking over to the opposite wall. There’s a calendar hanging there above the dresser, and though it’s hard to see in the dark, Alec can just barely make out the red X’s marking off the days. He grabs his marker, pulling off the cap and marking off one more.

Twenty-two days until graduation. Twenty-two days until Alec can leave, for good.

He gets dressed in the dark. He still hasn’t told Jace he plans to leave; he doesn’t know how to. He wonders if Jace will go with him. He wants Jace to go with him, wherever he goes. Just not their father.

Jace flips on the light when he comes back in, making Alec wince. He shields his eyes and makes his way to the bathroom, brushing his teeth quickly and combing his hair. Jace waits for him on the landing, and they head down the steps together.

There’s no family portraits of them hanging on the walls on their way down; there’s no photos of any of them at all. Just peeling wallpaper and a wobbly banister. The news is playing on the TV, the sound tinny, and Alec hears the weather as he passes. Foggy now, cloudy skies later for a breezy day. Their father stands in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room to listen, a spatula in his hand and the waffle maker humming on the counter behind him.

He cooks like this every day, with the news on. Alec can never tell if he’s listening for bad news, or good.

“Good morning, boys,” their father greets cheerfully as Jace plops down at the table, running his fingers through his hair.

“Milk, or orange juice?” Alec asks as he opens the fridge, grabbing three glasses from the cabinet overhead.

Their father hums thoughtfully. “Orange juice,” he says, and Alec pours him and Jace each a glass, grabbing some milk for himself.

Alec sets the table around Jace, who tries to put his head down and sleep on it. Other than their silverware and a couple of things that managed not to get broken over the years, most of their cups and dishes are plastic. Glass would break during all their moves, and besides, plastic was cheaper and easier to replace. Most of their things came from discount and dollar stores, not that Alec or Jace ever minded.

Their reasons for moving around always varies, and their father manages to never use the same excuse twice. The taxes are too high, the people are too rude, the schools aren’t good, the economy is bad, there’s not enough work. And more recently, bluntly: because their father said so.

Whenever Alec is told they’re moving again, he never asks why anymore. He stopped asking a long time ago.

“Sit up straight, please, Jace,” their father asks as he serves breakfast. There’s a small dish of butter and half a bottle of syrup to use. Alec finds a small handful of strawberries in the fridge and cuts them up, spreading them over his waffles.

They all eat in silence, the news continuing on in the background. Their father never asks them to hurry out loud, but the rule is always there. He can’t be late for work, and besides, they can’t be late for school, definitely not Alec. Especially not Alec.

Alec’s always been the smartest, though their father might disagree that it’s actually he who is, out of the three of them. Alec always keeps his grades up and his head down, like his father taught him. Well, the head down part he taught, at least. It’s always hard to be new, it’s even worse to be new and a distraction, his father would say.

And now, Alec is valedictorian. His father wasn’t exactly pleased with the news; it goes against his whole “head down” mantra. At least, that’s what Alec thinks. He also thinks there might be more to it, though he’d never say that at loud.

He doesn’t know what they’re running from, or who. His father would never admit that they were; he’d just use another one of his excuses.

After breakfast, Alec washes the dishes like he always does. There’s no dishwasher, and they all used to take turns cleaning up. Then his father didn’t want to anymore, and Jace would always swear it wasn’t his turn to do it, so Alec does it.

Their backpacks sit on the floor by the front door. They do their homework downstairs every night, and their father watches them, if he isn’t locked away in his study. He thinks it’s “good” to have structure.

Their cellphones always stay downstairs, too. Their father doesn’t believe in them, or computers, or social media. He says they’re distractions, and shouldn’t be in the bedroom, for anyone.

So every morning, Alec and Jace gather their backpacks, and their phones, and head out the door.

“I’ll pick you up from school, two-fifteen on the dot,” their father says as he locks the door behind them. He only locks two locks, though on the inside, there’s much more.

The bus could pick them up for school, they’re far enough out, but their father always says no. He always drives them, and he always picks them up.

Doveport is a small town in New Jersey. Most of the houses are old with good amounts of land, though there’s some modern developments scattered back farther by the school. Downtown consists mostly of mom-and-pop shops, a few chain grocery stores, and some small restaurants. Any big superstores, or anything fun, is out of town. They never do that kind of stuff, unless their father is with them.

The sun is finally starting to come up, and Alec stops to take a deep breath as their father unlocks the car. It’s a beat-up minivan, and they’ve all had to sleep in it more times than Alec can count. Weeds are popping up all over the lawn, and the grass needs cut. The sun reflects off the windows of the house behind them. It’s gray, with matching shingles falling off the roof, and moss growing up the side. The porch has cracks running through the cement, and every day, Alec thinks how unwelcoming it looks, that it’s no wonder no one comes to visit them.

“Alec, come on,” Jace says, climbing into the backseat of the car, and Alec turns to follow him. A dog yapping makes him look up as he’s about to close the door.

It’s Mrs. Creary, their neighbor. There’s a good amount of yard between her house and theirs, plenty of privacy. She’s old and lives alone, with no husband or kids, though she has a boyfriend that always comes to visit, and her Yorkie that she walks every morning, named King. She walks him to the end of her property line, then turns back and heads the other way. But she always makes mention to say hello. She lifts her hand in a wave now.

“Good morning, Alec!” she calls. “Good morning, Jace! Good morning, Michael!”

[jcmorgenstern]

3x14 Review

Hey so for once this is actually super positive! I loved this episode and can’t wait to gush about it! So without further ado, I’m gonna get the stuff I quibbled with outta the way before diving into what I liked:

The Bad: — I think my biggest problem overall was that scene between Alec and Lorenzo. I understand Alec was being protective and he goes into Fierce Mommy Tiger mode around those he considers family and those he loves (I think it’s important to show that Magnus isn’t just his boyfriend, Magnus has become integrated into the thing Alec bases his life around). But I had hoped Alec would have figured out by now that a Nephilim threatening to depose a Downward leader over an apartment is…..unideal, at least. — I get that this may have been designed as a plot hook as an understandable yet stupid thing Alec does that comes back to bite him later (i.e., if there is a Downward civil war in New York, and Lorenzo decides to fuck Alec over). Alec’s strength and weaknesses are tied to his family, and I think it’s a very believable mistake for him to make. I don’t expect him to be perfect, I just hope the narrative treats his threat to Lorenzo as less of a “pure uwu cutesy bf” move and more of a mistake, even if Lorenzo is being cruel to Magnus. — Honestly y’all I expected something WAY worse. Losing the apartment was nothing compared to the drama I expected—I thought Lorenzo was gonna ask Magnus to spy on Alec or go back to Asmodeus or something awful. Thankfully that was inverted by a very obvious attempt to get Magnus to move in with Alec, because apparently he can’t buy a new house with all his money. — I also quibbled a little with how Clary was written, especially in that scene where Jace comforts her (or, really, when Jace makes what happened to her about him and how angry he is and how he’s going to kill Jonathan etc. It’s a pattern with him, esp where Jonathan is involved, and I have more to say about it). Clary has always been a very temperamental, look before you leap sort of person, and I’m not sure that if she figured out Jonathan had hurt Jace she would just smile and pretend along. Clary would FREAK. This is Jocelyn’s daughter, y’all. The knives would be out. She stabbed herself to stab him before and she’d do it again. She has ALL the tools at her disposal to rune him or run away. — To be clear, I’m not shaming Clary for what she chose to do or not confronting a violently entitled dude who kidnapped her once already, I just felt the arc was artificially extended to let Jace be the hero instead of letting Clary kick Jonathan’s ass off a pier and rune him. There’s no way that bitch can swim. It seemed kind of….not how Clary would react and kind of artificially done for Jace and Jonathan’s benefit. — Last thing, which isn’t even a quibble but I feel people will be confused if it’s not on here: the Maia and Jordan thing. I’ll go into it more but basically: if they’re doing what I think, I think it worked shockingly well, but if it’s played straight yeah it’ll be Unfortunate.

The Good: — I’m just gonna come out and say this episode was AMAZING. Since this is mostly a positive review I’d like to credit the writer specifically—Zoe Broad. Honestly just the overall coherence of this episode was greater than any of the ones in S3 for me, it flowed from one scene to the other and there was no point where I had the urge to check Facebook or whatever. The dialogue was pretty good overall and truly amazing at parts, and I felt she had a pretty good handle on the characters, despite this being her first episode, which was very impressive. — I actually ENJOYED the ship content??? Clace was absolutely adorable on the rink, with Jace’s sometimes annoying bravado being played wryly both on his part and by the script. “I was born ahead of the curve” delivered with a smile and then nearly falling on his ass was. Very good. And Clary’s little “you’re doing better than me….when I was six” was equally great and I just. Really liked it? They felt like real people on a real date and it felt real and dynamic and cute. — Same with Malec’s grave-robbing date. Usually their scenes start to get weighed down by drama or just general “talking to the audience to make them happy rather than each other,” but this was just cute AND advanced the plot, and connected them back to the main storyline. I hadn’t liked how they were quarantined away from the main story and I’m glad they’re back, even if the “losing Magnus’ loft” was a weird way to do it. — Maia and Alisha particularly were really the breakout stars of the episode. Alisha really really SOLD that dialogue and was honestly incredible. Her terror and anger and desperation felt so visceral and real that even though I knew it would be resolved in the episode, it was gripping and I genuinely needed to know what happened next. — I also did like how Zoe wrote Maia (that “frickin” was TOTALLY a stand in for fuck and I APPRECIATE it) and I felt she really captured how she feels about Jordan—she does care about him as a person, or rather for the person he was at some point, but still refuses to not to push down on her own anger and hurt for his or anyone else’s sake. I felt it was really complex and confusing and emotional for her and overall I think that scene was meant to give her a sense of closure. Just because she recognizes that Jordan does care about her and can be supportive of her, doesn’t mean she’ll necessarily jump back into his arms. — That’s kind of my reading—I’m not sure where they’re going, obviously, but my instinct was that the less chill stuff Maia says (implying they may be going a romantic arc) was more due to the fact she was PANICKING IN A LOCKED CLOSET WITH A DYING DUDE. Like she says “I’m confused” like yes she meant before but honestly right then she obviously was, and I don’t really see the show going for Jordan/Maia? Especially since Todd has hinted Maia has a “don’t need no man” arc. Like she drifts apart from Simon but gets back with someone she hated for years?? Not seeing it. — However if they do go there I’ll be really disappointed, mostly because of the missed opportunity for complexity but also because yeahhhhh maybe not the chillest thing with how many people interpret their relationship as abuse. (I could make a separate post about it but yeah). — Onto Magnus. God okay I don’t know how others felt but I felt Zoe really got to the crux of why Magnus misses his magic. That how he feels connected to the world through his magic was just…such a good insight and it really impacted me because it wasn’t just some generic “magic is what makes me who I am,” it was so much more deep and personal and I felt it meant a lot that Magnus finally put that into words for Alec. He’d clearly been struggling to impart to Alec how he felt, both in terms of “how do I even explain this loss” and a his own emotional reticence. God that grave robbing scene!!!! — Umm the Morningstar sword actually being a sword to summon demons?? Kind of weird?? Esp if they play it off as an actual Morgenstern relic?? Not sure what’s happening but it was cool?? — honestly dudes I’ve been FUCKED UP about the Luke storyline and SUPER STRESSED and now IT’S ALL HAPPENIGN someone SAVE HIM oh my GOD I’m actually so stressed I’ve been stressed for 9 months FREE HIM — Ok now to Jonathan bc lbr y’all know I can’t shut up about him. Ok first off, that scene with the seelie gal, oh my FUCKING GOD I was screaming what a LOSER GHSDKLFJhghghhghgg. And she insults his shitty dialogue?? Zoe ma’am may I PROPOSE??? This keeps getting wilder and wilder I can’t believe they’re GOING THERE. THEY’RE GOING THERE SO HARD. HE’S SUCH A WILD LOSER. Can you BELIEVE he found someone off shadow world fetlife to be like “I’m a Morgenstern and I love you bro you’re so hot and clever and lovable” I just can’t. I bet you ANYTHING she tops and is only in it for the shadow hunter ass. — SHAPESHIFTING. YALL. I BUST A NUT. Look, it fixes so many fucking plot holes. His eyes look SO COOL when he does demon magic. He’s so OP and Chaotic Stupid it’s not even a joke  I Lov my Mary Sue Son. — Honestly having Jonathan impersonate Jace is so brilliant (remember when he said, “I don’t want your pity, I want your life?”) Like it is so fucked up but I love it.  Not looking forward to the mind control but maybe he just whispered “I’m a bottom” into her ear and ran off in her ensuing shock and confusion. You can’t prove me wrong until next week so until then LA LA LA LA CAN’T HEAR YOU — Personally I liked Dom’s performance as Jonathan, but not to be that Bitch I felt Will was a lot more subtle about it. Dom gave him a straight up thousand mile stare whereas Will played him as something charismatic and good at lying with a little edge of Something Wrong, a strain behind a smile. Sure, Jonathan was probably nervous for his little kidnapping date, but I felt it was unrealistic that he was so suave and convincing (sans the part where Aline comes to visit him that was hilarious, Jonathan you’re an idiot) as Seb and then is like “I eat ants sometimes” as Jace. Like. He’s an obsessive bitch. He’d have practiced Jace in the mirror. Fuck you. Probably while saying “fuck you.” ANYWAYS. — Izzy doing science? It’s not much but I’ll fucking take it lmao. I’m excited to see where Heavenly Fire is going. Matt’s Latin is still abysmal but whatever it’s ok. — also that rose?? A kiss from a rose?? Honestly this ep was so clever and thematically connected and just FLOWED like an ACTUAL EP OF TV god I’m emotional!!!! Thank you Zoe Broad ma’am you are a hero!!! — Again I’m gonna point out both Jace and Jonathan have a designated Brooding Fireplace. — Not super hyped about Heidi coming back but hey this ep was Worth It.

Anyway tldr I really liked it and wanted to spew semi-coherent positivity for once! About more characters than just my stupid fave!!! Wow!!! Good writing is SEXY and I LOVE IT!!!

[bamf-alec]

All Things By A Law Divine

Chapters 11-15

Artist: Lady Koalart (who did an absolutely incredible job)

Beta: @jeanboulet​

Pairings: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, various background pairings

Summary: Magnus had waited a long time for his soulmate to be born. Fate must have had a sick sense of humour, though, because after all these centuries, it had handed him a Shadowhunter. Magnus didn’t know who this Shadowhunter was, or how they could possibly be meant for each other, but he did know that this story wouldn't have a happy ending.

Alec also knew all about fate's sense of humour. He had known this his whole life. But the ground was coming up from under him and everything he knew was being turned on its head, systematically picked up and pulled apart and handed back to him looking nothing like it did before. Valentine was alive. His own parents had been members of the Circle. The Lightwoods’ grip on the Institute was slipping. And, through all this, his siblings had found their soulmates.

Alec had found Magnus. But that didn’t mean anything, did it?

Link to AO3:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33515842/chapters/83272549

** I would really prefer you read it on AO3! **

This fic was created for the Shadowhunters Mini Bang 2021: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver

Chapter 11

Alec could not believe that he was here. He wasn’t sure that he was, actually. The crumpled address in his hand didn’t feel real. Neither did the door in front of him.

This was stupid. This was pointless. 

Valentine was alive and sending Forsaken into the Institute. Valentine’s daughter was sleeping in the room across from Jace. Alec’s family was in very real danger of losing control of the Institute. Lydia had politely asked him if getting married might save it. Alec had nearly said yes, and then he had said no, and then he had said that he needed a minute to think about it.

In that minute, he had gone through the Institute database and found a warlock that specialized in souls, and the bonds between them. Then, he had taken a second minute. In that minute, Alec had taken a page out of his siblings’ book and snuck out of the Institute before anyone was awake enough to notice.

This would lead nowhere. Alec would reaffirm what he had always known, the voice of doubt Izzy had infested his mind with would quiet, and that would be that.

The door swung open so swiftly that Alec felt his hair move. A very pixie-like woman stood in front of him, barely coming up to the top of his ribcage. Her hair seemed like an entire other person, stark white, long, and massive. It looked like it was floating more than sitting on her head.

“Um,” Alec said, because the reason he was here had suddenly escaped him.

The woman sighed breathily, like she was quite tired or perhaps like she was bored of this plane of existence. She said, “Yes.”

Alec thought it was meant to be a question, but it didn’t sound like one. He shook himself. He glanced behind him at the street, which looked perfectly normal. Roses were dying in pots that went all the way around the house.

“You’re the Diviner?” he asked, despite how stupid it felt. The Diviner. Like it was pulled from a fairytale. A cliché one at that.

“Oh my,” she said, inexplicably. “You’d better come in. Yes, you’d better.”

Alec wasn’t sure all of that had been directed at him, but he stepped inside nonetheless. As the door closed behind him, most of the light in the room was shut out. Everything was cast in dark shadows. The winding staircase seemed to reach into oblivion, and he wasn’t certain that if he stepped forward there would be a floor there to catch him.

There was. She led him down the hallway to a sitting room, which had large bay windows that let in giant swaths of sunlight. Lace curtains did their best to temper it, to no success. When prompted, Alec took a seat on one of the floral couches. The Diviner sat across from him, a coffee table between them with an old-fashioned tea set on top.

“Tea?” she asked. He shook his head. She sighed that same, breathless sigh. “All the better. I only have mint.”

Alec sat on her couch, trying to figure out what to do with his hands, while she drank her mint tea and watched him. She didn’t blink.

He cleared his throat. It took him two attempts to get out the words, and even he could hear the reluctance in his tone.  “I’m here about soulmates.”

“Yes,” she said. Again, it wasn’t a question. Alec thought it was probably because most people who came to see her were here about soulmates. He waited to see if she would say anything else. She didn’t. 

His fingers only shook a little, not noticeable to anyone but him (he hoped), as he rolled up his sleeves to show her his wrists. Bare, as they had been for as long as he could remember. 

“Blank,” she noted, unhelpfully. She took another sip of her tea. “They said it means you’re alone.”

It still wasn’t a question. She seemed to know everything about him already. He couldn’t decide if it was a relief or unnerving.

Alec frowned. Self-consciously, he tugged his sleeves back down. “They did.”

“You believe them?” she asked, but didn’t wait for an answer. “It’s a tricky thing, belief. Sometimes it makes things true. What’s that called again? Plack… Plum…”

“Placebo effect,” Alec offered. “Are you saying I don’t have a soulmate because I don’t believe I have a soulmate?”

She sighed again. She drank her tea. She looked out the large, bay windows. “Did I say it was your belief?”

Alec blinked. She waited for an answer. Uncertainly, he said, “No?”

 She leaned forward to reach across the table with an impatient flick of her fingers. The tea had vanished and, now that he thought about it, Alec couldn’t remember her ever having brewed it. It had just appeared, cup full in her hands, despite the teapot between them.

It took him a moment to understand what she wanted, and then another to roll his sleeves back up and offer her his wrist.

Her fingers were cold when they closed around it. Dainty. He watched her face instead. Her eyes were very dark, or maybe very bright. It was hard to tell. She pressed her nail into his skin until it bled, and he winced, resisting the urge to snatch his arm back. She seemed pleased by this.

“The other,” she demanded. He gave her his left wrist. She dug her nail in again. She seemed more pleased. “What a neat little lie. The sort we’re not supposed to tell.”

Alec felt dizzy. He stared at her very strange eyes and her nail, still digging through the first couple layers of his skin, and his wrist, blank. Not even a rune trespassed on it. “What?”

“Barbaric,” she continued, as though he hadn’t spoken. He did not interrupt her look of deep thought to tell her that ‘neat’ and ‘barbaric’ were two things that tended not to describe the same entity. 

She dropped his arm. “Do you like stories, Mr. Lightwood?”

“No,” he said, because he had a feeling she wanted to tell him one, and he could feel his skin crawling all over with the need to just know, already. He ignored the fact that he had never given her his name. She was in the business of souls, and it seemed unsurprising that she would have some magic way of finding it out.

She looked a little disappointed. “Oh. Well, then I will just tell you. Your mark’s been erased.”

Alec felt like he’d been punched in the chest. He struggled, for many long seconds, to recover his breath. Fucking Isabelle, he thought, but the thought barely reached his conscious.

“Erased?” he repeated, urgently. “So I had one?”

She nodded. “So you had one. This kind of magic’s been outlawed since… Well, for quite a while. One of the few things that nearly everyone can agree on is that it's....”

“Barbaric?” he offered, but he wasn’t looking at her. He stared down at his hands, the two half-moons on his wrists. He ran his fingers over the left one, like he would feel whatever had been there, but of course he could not. So many emotions warred for dominance inside of him that instead he felt numb. He swallowed. “Can I get it back?”

“No,” she said, putting precisely zero effort into softening the blow. Alec had only an instant to feel both crushed and weightless at the same time before she continued. “But just because the mark is gone, doesn’t mean the bond is. Like ridding you of the symptoms, but not the disease. Denial is not as strong as belief, you know. It always falls apart.”

Alec ignored that she’d just compared having a soulmate to having a disease. He scrubbed his hands down his face and breathed in and out. He wondered if his siblings knew. He wondered if his parents knew.

And then he immediately felt stupid because of course his parents knew. Who else could have done this?

“I think I’ll take that tea now,” Alec muttered.

.

There was a knock at Alec’s door.

Please, Alec thought desperately to the ceiling, sprawled out on his bed. Please, Jace. Go save the world by yourself today.

Jace knocked again. When there was still no response, he opened the door to peer inside. It was the middle of the day and his room had two windows, but Alec had turned the light on anyway. He could feel the frown from across the room as Jace picked his way through scattered papers to the side of the bed.

“Dude,” he said, poking Alec’s foot. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything,” Alec replied despairingly. Alec was not usually melodramatic, and he was not being melodramatic now. It was very possible that, in fact, everything was wrong.

Jace said agreeably, “Okay,” and then yanked on Alec’s feet until Alec’s knees slid off the end of the bed and he was forced to sit up.

Alec glared at him. “What?”

Jace had been Alec’s parabatai for too many years not to be immune to his glare. “Come with me.”

Alec laid back down. “No.”

Witheringly, “Alec.”

Also witheringly, “Fuck off.”

Jace sighed. He looked over Alec, assessing the damage, then patted his leg. “Wanna go kill some demons?”

Alec considered it. “No,” he decided. 

Enticingly, Jace said, “There’s a whole nest of raveners at the docks.”

Less certainly, Alec repeated, “No.”

Jace seemed to realize the gravity of the situation, then. The bed dipped under his weight, his knee knocking into Alec’s. When Alec glanced up to see what he was doing, he found Jace watching him with a concerned expression. “Are you okay?” he asked. “For real?”

Alec looked at him. He swallowed. He was running his fingers over the blank skin on his wrist. It was going numb, and it was definitely red, but he couldn’t stop. Even when he knew that Jace had noticed.

His voice was very small when he admitted, “No, I’m really not.”

Jace, who had never heard him sound so lost in all the years they’d known each other, looked alarmed. He cast a glance at the door, probably wondering where Isabelle was, because usually she was the one that coaxed the truth out of Alec. But Jace knew that Isabelle was with Clary, and so did Alec.

Jace hesitated to ask, “Is this about Magnus?”

Alec didn’t react. He wanted to be surprised, or to be terrified that Jace had picked up on this thing that he had never told him. He could feel it, too, the shame and the fear and the knowledge that if he blew Jace off, he wouldn’t ask again. But it was so distant, so buried, beneath this numbness that had settled over Alec this morning and not gone away since.

“He seems nice,” Jace offered. When Alec looked at him, he looked supremely uncomfortable, because they both knew that this was not a thing they talked about. Jace didn’t talk about girls with Alec, either.

To spare him the awkwardness, Alec snorted. “Nice,” he repeated. “Yeah, he’s nice.”

Jace nodded. He looked away, around the room, seeking a change in subject.

Alec dug his fingernail into his wrist, right beside where someone else had done so already. “Did you feel it?” he asked. “Clary. If you hadn’t seen the mark, would you have known?”

Jace turned back to look at him again. His brow furrowed, but he gave the question real thought. “Maybe,” he replied. “Maybe not. I wanted it to be, and I felt connected to her, but I think… I don’t think, without the mark, that I would’ve been sure enough to act on it. I would’ve had too many doubts.”

It was not the answer Alec would have hoped for, if he’d been accustomed to hope. Of course Jace would have had doubts. Of course anyone, with no mark, would have doubts. The mark was a confirmation, a reassurance, a certainty. They existed for a reason.

This one, it said, with no room to question it. This is the one.

He thought about telling Jace about his stolen mark. He couldn’t find the words. What could Jace say that would help, anyway?

Nothing. There was nothing. The mark was gone. It would never not be gone. Alec would live in doubt for the foreseeable future. Maybe forever.

I suppose, the Diviner had told him when he’d asked how he would know the bond when he found it, you will just have to ask around.

Alec thought about asking Magnus about his soulmark, and shivered. There was absolutely no universe where he could be that brave.

Did he have to ask? Or would he know if he saw it, on Magnus’s wrist?

How foolish and naive to even consider that Magnus Bane could be his soulmate.

But doubt — stupid, niggling doubt — gave him pause. Alec wanted to know. He wanted to be certain.

He knew where he needed to go.

Chapter 12

“Hey,” said Alexander Lightwood, standing in front of the door to Magnus’s loft in jeans and a t-shirt. He scratched the back of his neck. He didn’t have any of his regular shadowhunter gear with him, nor were there any obvious wounds to tend to. He didn’t sound like he was here with urgency, so no one must be dying. “Can I come in?”

Delighted but trying not to show it, Magnus stepped aside to let him through. He watched Alec, hands tucked in his pockets, inspect his living room like he’d never seen it before. Magnus had only swapped out a few statement pieces since the last time he’d been here.

Magnus shook himself. “Drink?” he asked, gesturing to his drink cart. It was his favourite part of the loft, and he was not ashamed of it.

Alec gave him a dubious look. “It’s five in the afternoon.”

“Suit yourself,” Magnus shrugged. He tapped his fingers on the back of his couch, a plush green velvet. His rings clicked against each other. “Not that I’m complaining, but what brings you here this fine evening, Alexander?”

Alec frowned a bit at the use of his full name, but he didn’t say anything. His eyes flitted over Magnus, and then over his bookshelf, and then back over Magnus. They stayed just a second too long on his wrist, covered by his silk dress shirt.

Oh? Magnus thought, a thrill running through him.

“I wanted, um,” Alec paused. He looked away. His brow furrowed in distress. Adorable. “Actually, I didn’t really think of an excuse.”

Magnus laughed. “You could just say that you wanted to see me.”

He’d meant for it to ease the tension Alec was clearly feeling, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. Alec’s jaw tightened, and he looked out the balcony doors at the city.

So maybe he hadn’t just wanted to see Magnus. He was here for a reason. A reason that had him pretending not to be looking at Magnus’s wrist again. Magnus’s heart tried to pick up its pace, but he stopped it before it got too carried away.

Alec let out a frustrated breath and shook his head, but it was directed at himself. He inspected one of the couches, debating if it was safe to sit on. Magnus threw himself onto one to demonstrate, and Alec gingerly took a seat. Across from Magnus, further away than he’d hoped.

Alec was looking at his hands when he said, “When you did the autopsy, and you came in while I was training. Did you see…?”

“Your mark?” Magnus finished for him. Alec looked immediately relieved, like that was answer enough, which confused him. “No. Why?”

“No reason,” Alec said too quickly. He leaned back on the couch, much less tense. He looked around, obviously trying to change the subject as fast as possible. His eyes lit up a bit when he found something. “Books. You have so many. You read?”

Magnus did not laugh, even though he wanted to, because it might’ve been strange when Alec didn’t know that Magnus had read more pieces of literature from his wrist than from any book in the last two decades. He also did not laugh at the desperate, stilted attempt at small talk, because Magnus was nice and he found the awkwardness endearing. 

“I used to,” he offered conversationally. “Not so much anymore. I think I stopped around the… 20’s? 30’s? I had enough stories of my own, and I was growing bored of reading other people’s made-up ones. You?”

Alec hummed thoughtfully. “I used to,” he echoed. “It’s hard to find the time, now.”

Magnus was reminded that the boy across from him had many things on his shoulders, probably more than Magnus knew about. “Would you like to borrow something? I can think of some recommendations I might have.”

“Oh,” said Alec, a bit taken aback, but in a good way. “Yeah, sure. That’d be… That’d be nice.”

Smiling amiably, Magnus set about retrieving the books he was thinking of. He passed them each to Alec, who had followed him into his study where he kept most of them, and gave him a brief synopsis of each. Because he was Magnus, most of the synopses were inaccurate and consisted more of jokes than any valuable information. Alec only smiled, amused.

At six, Alec finally allowed Magnus to make him a drink. They drank them on the balcony. It was winter, so the sun was already starting to set, and it cast an orangey-pink hue over the city.

At eight, Alec’s phone went off, and he made an unhappy face at whatever name was on the screen. He looked at Magnus, stuffing it back in his pocket. His eyes followed the length of Magnus’s arm to the glass he was holding, but stopped just a bit short.

“I should go,” he said. “Institute things to take care of.”

He’d waved a vague hand around to indicate the things that needed doing. It was charming.

Magnus sighed, softly, so that Alec wouldn’t hear. “Of course. You’ll tell me what you think?”

Alec looked confused for a second before he followed Magnus’s gaze to the short stack of books on the coffee table inside. “Oh!” he said. “Right, yeah. I’ll text you?”

“Or you could come over and tell me in person,” Magnus offered, but he also shrugged to indicate that both were equally sound options.

Alec met his eyes. “Yeah. Maybe.”

He looked like he’d gotten a bit lost in space for a second, but then he smiled. He politely handed Magnus his empty glass, retrieved the books, and let Magnus walk him to the door.

Magnus waved him off when the door opened, already beginning to tidy up the mess he’d made while mixing their drinks. He looked up in confusion when he didn’t hear the door shut.

Alec had stopped in the doorway, his hand on the knob. He turned back to Magnus, and his expression was steeled. Magnus raised one questioning eyebrow at him.

“I don’t have one,” Alec said suddenly. He sounded very decisive. “I asked if you’d seen my mark, because I don’t have one. I think my parents probably figured out it wouldn’t lead to someone they approved of, so they got rid of it.”

The door shut behind him, the sound infinitely louder than it should’ve been, and Magnus could do nothing but blink.

Chapter 13

It took Magnus a very long time to process the information he’d been given. It grew dark outside while he sat on his couch. He’d collapsed onto it a while ago, when his knees had gone a bit weak.

Magnus considered the facts.

Alec was his soulmate. He was certain of it, now. The marks matched too well, and he had felt it with his magic.

Alec did not know that he was his soulmate, because Alec didn’t have a soulmark.

Alec didn’t have a soulmark, because someone wretched had wiped it away.

Magnus had been waiting impatiently for Alec to just figure it out already, because surely the mark couldn’t be that difficult to interpret, while Alec had actually not been figuring anything out, because bare skin was quite difficult to interpret.

No, he’s definitely figured something out, Magnus amended.

He replayed the words again. He brought up Alec’s face, and his tone, and how he’d looked when he’d first gotten here, too.

It seemed like this was new information to him, too. And if that was true, then Alec’s bare wrist must have meant something different to him before. Then Alec had spent his whole life thinking there was nothing there because there was noone for him.

Now, Magnus remembered that Izzy had texted him to ask about his mark, and he realized she had been asking because she had been hoping this wasn’t true. Had Alec? Or had he just accepted it and resigned himself to being alone forever while everyone around him found love?

Magnus was beginning to get to know Alec, and he thought the latter was much more likely.

He looked at his mark, now.

Fearless.

Magnus was probably reading too much into it, but it seemed darker than it had the last time he’d seen it, years ago. More certain. Conviction, rather than desperation.

Magnus leaned back until he could look at the chandelier above him. It was a magnificent thing. It wouldn’t be allowed in his loft if it wasn’t.

Very, very slowly, in the manner of dread and things much more awful, something crept up on him. He remembered a woman at his doorstep, the rain, and the circle carved into her neck. The tiny little thing in her arms, the only reason she would have ever put aside her uncompromising beliefs. The memory had been gone for years, buried because it was insignificant to him and his own life.

He reached for it now. It came back, some pieces so vivid he thought he could smell the rain in the air, and some pieces still blurry enough that it felt like a disc in a record player, skipping.

Nothing matters but protecting them, Maryse Lightwood had told him, holding her son in her arms. She had seen his eyes, cat-like. One of a kind.

Magnus did not let himself wonder if that was what had done it. He did not let himself wonder if this was his fault, if she might’ve been oblivious before she met him and left her son’s soul alone. He wouldn’t have been able to close his eyes ever again, if he did.

Magnus did let himself wonder how it had happened. Who had done it? It took magic — the dark, twisted kind — to bury a soul inside itself.

Could it be undone?

Magnus’s eyes cast into his study, where he knew he had a book on soulmagic. He stared at where he thought it might be on the shelf. He twisted his rings around and around.

No. He shook himself. Alec hadn’t asked for that. Alec hadn’t asked for anything. Magnus didn’t know what he wanted, and it wasn’t right to assume that he might.

He didn’t know how much Alec already knew.

Did he know Magnus was his soulmate? Or had he told him for some other reason, because it was a magic kind of curse and Magnus, too, was magic? Because it was a very different kind of thing and Magnus, too, was a very different kind of person? Because Alec’s only friends were his siblings, and his family was too caught up in it already?

Magnus wanted to call Catarina or Ragnor to say all of this out loud, but he couldn’t do that, either. Alec had trusted him, and he couldn’t break that.

So Magnus sat, and he drank, and he avoided looking at any of his spellbooks, and he wondered when it would be appropriate to ask Alec if they could see each other again.

Chapter 14

Alec couldn’t stand to be in the same room as his parents, and his mother was beginning to notice. Maryse was working up to confronting him about it, her frustration rising each time he left the room shortly after she entered it. It was frustration born mostly out of confusion, but also out of the fact that Alec had yet to give them an answer on his hypothetical impending nuptials.

Alec did not want to be confronted, so he avoided the Institute in general as much as he could. Thankfully, Maryse hadn’t been on active duty for pretty much as long as she’d lived in New York, so she kept mundane hours. When it was dark and she was most likely asleep, Alec was free to roam the Institute as much as he wanted. Most of his roaming ended in the training room.

“So,” Jace said. He was cut off briefly by Alec’s fists pummeling the punching bag he held steady against his chest, knocking some of the breath out of him. Jace shifted his feet to brace himself better. “You want to tell me what’s up or am I going to have to guess?”

Alec didn’t look at him or stop pummeling the punching bag. “You’re going to have to guess.”

“Okay.” Jace shrugged. He squinted like he was really assessing his parabatai. “A ravener demon snuck into your room last night and poisoned you, and now you are both suffering from, you know, being poisoned, but also not getting enough sleep. Because of the ravener demon. Am I close?”

Alec snorted. “Yes,” he said, taking a step back. He wiped the sweat from his brow and pushed the hair that was clinging to it off his face. “You got me, Jace. That’s exactly what happened.”

“I knew it,” Jace agreed happily. He patted the side of the punching bag as he stepped up to see Alec without having to crook his head around it. “For real, though. I can feel when something’s wrong, Alec. And lately the parabatai bond’s been… a mess. I let you have your moment the other day and gave you time to sort it out yourself, but now I’m worried, man.”

Alec clenched his jaw, inspecting his knuckles. Bleeding, ripped open where they hadn’t had a chance to heal from yesterday, or the day before, or the day before that. He barely felt it.

He shook his head. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not.”

“Okay. Then how about it’s none of your business?”

“Alec,” Jace sighed. He gave Alec a longsuffering look. Alec gave him the same look back, but more surly.  They stared each other down for a minute, both too stubborn to look away and admit defeat.

Finally, Alec let out a long breath. He scraped his fingers through his hair, wet from the hour he’d been in here before Jace showed up under the guise of helping him train. He should’ve known. Jace was nowhere near as bad as Izzy, but he, too, was a nosy dick who couldn’t leave well enough alone. Not when it came to Alec.

Alec had been tired of his siblings always having something to say about his personal life years ago, and since then it had only gotten worse. It was only ever getting worse because in their eyes Alec was never getting better. How many times had Izzy made unsubtle comments about cute boys he might like to go out with? How many times had Jace slapped his shoulders and asked if he needed a wingman?  How many sad, pitiful looks had they given him and his blank wrist and his nonexistent love life?

Like he could hear what Alec was thinking, Jace glanced around quickly. He leaned in closer and lowered his voice when he said, “Is this about your soulmark thing?”

Your soulmark thing.

That was what Jace had always called it, ever since Alec had fessed up and told him that he didn’t have one. Jace hadn’t believed him at first. Everyone had a soulmark. He’d turned both of Alec’s arms this way and that, like it was hiding in there somewhere, before he’d finally given up and accepted that Alec was telling the truth. Then he’d shown Alec the easel that spread across his entire wrist with a grim expression and admitted that he thought his soulmate might be a mundane. Shadowhunters didn’t have time for such hobbies, unless they were retired. It was doubtful a fourteen year old’s soulmate was in their sixties.

Alec wondered if it was strange for warlocks who had to wait centuries just for theirs to be born. How much life they had lived before them, how much they knew, and how little their soulmate would when they met them. Even if it were someone who shared their immortality, another warlock or a vampire or a seelie, they would have lived a dozen lives before the one they eventually shared with their soulmate.

It sounded lonely.

Did Magnus seem lonely?

Alec pursed his lips and burned the thought from his head, with fire. He shook his head at Jace. “It’s not about ‘my soulmark thing’.”

It was, of course.

Jace eyed him suspiciously. “Are you sure? Because the other day you were asking me about Clary, and I thought that maybe it sounded like you’d found someone you liked, and that maybe you thought they could be the one.”

“I don’t have a soulmate, Jace,” Alec told him, even though he knew now that it was a lie. The lie came off his tongue as easily as breathing, because it had sounded like the truth for so many years now. 

“But you found someone?” Jace asked. It was much gentler, quiet and hopeful, hesitant. Even more so when he ventured to add, “Maybe someone like Magnus Bane?”

Alec’s throat closed. He dug his fingers into the knuckles on his other hand. He looked his parabatai dead in the eyes, steadied himself, and said, “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Jace looked back for a very long moment. Then, he looked past Alec, out the archway that led into the hub. It had been a quiet night so far, so there were only two people watching the screens for signs of activity.

“Yeah,” Jace sighed eventually. He clasped Alec’s shoulder and gave him a wry smile on his way out. Jace waited until he was halfway out the door to turn around and add, “By the way, Lydia called Magnus in to fix the wards. From the Forsaken attack. I think he’s coming tomorrow.”

That fucking… Alec didn’t finish the thought. He made a frustrated noise, combing his fingers none too gently through his hair, digging them into his scalp. The frustration swelled quickly into anger, overwhelming only because he’d never felt it like this before. It was an all-encompassing anger, extending from his absent soulmark and his parents to Jace and Izzy and his expected marriage and Valentine and Clary and—

And…

Alec went back to his room. He peeled off his clothes, damp with sweat, and splashed water on his face. In the mirror, an unhappy face looked back at him. He pursed his lips and looked away, left the bathroom to sit on the edge of his bed.

He played with the bracelet on his wrist. Leather, worn over the years but still strong. A thin, intricate braid that must’ve taken weeks of work for someone so young, but so determined to make sure it was perfect.

Isabelle had given it to him when she was eight. She’d said that this way, just like everyone else who had a soulmark, if he looked at his wrist he would always know there was someone who loved him unconditionally.

It took a moment for Alec to realize he was crying. A sob ripped out of him before he could stop it. He dug the heels of his palms into his eyes and bit down hard on his lip. Minutes passed. He breathed deeply, in and out, until it felt like he was getting enough air again.

Then he dropped his hands. He twisted Izzy’s bracelet around his wrist, smoothing his thumb over the familiar pattern.

He glanced at the short stack of books on his desk, one finished and another bookmarked halfway through, and then at his phone on the nightstand, and then at the door. Somewhere, Izzy was probably taking off her makeup or picking out which heels she should slay demons in tomorrow. Jace was probably either with Clary or pretending he didn’t want to be. Magnus was probably… Doing whatever warlocks did. Brewing potions? Casting spells? Mixing drinks?

The thought of being alone when his head was such a mess sucked, but the thought of talking to any of them also sucked, so Alec chose what was most familiar. He turned the light off, kicked off his boots, and went to lay in bed and stare at the ceiling for hours, praying for sleep but knowing it likely wouldn’t come.

Chapter 15

Magnus, though he did fix the Institute’s wards, ended up overstaying his welcome. He was pulled into some intricate plot to smuggle the mortal cup out of the Institute. Alec was notably absent for the entire process of retrieving it from some super special Shadowhunter storage box, but neither Jace nor Isabelle volunteered any information as to his whereabouts. When Magnus tried to ask, Izzy pursed her lips.

“I haven’t seen him all day. He’s probably…” She shared a look with Jace, who didn’t mask his concern in time. Izzy turned back to Magnus with a decisive nod. “Busy. He’s busy.”

Magnus frowned, but he let them be mysterious. “Well then, I suppose I’ll leave you to it. Give Biscuit my best.”

He saw Jace mouth ‘biscuit?’ to Isabelle, who shrugged. She smiled at Magnus. “Thank you so much for your help. We’ve got it from here. We’ll walk you out.”

“Actually,” Magnus interrupted. He looked between the two of them, the duffle bag Izzy was holding with the mortal cup, and the hub full of busy Shadowhunters. Robert Lightwood, who’d accompanied him while he reinforced the wards, was conspiring with a group of people at one of their holographic tables. Alec was still nowhere in sight. He turned a charming smile on the remaining Lightwood children. “I should check the wards again. Make sure everything’s in order. Don’t want any more Forsaken finding their way in.”

Jace shrugged and left, off to bring Clary the mortal cup. Isabelle stuck around for another moment. She watched Jace’s back until it disappeared through the door before she took a deep breath.

“He’s probably on the roof,” Isabelle told Magnus. She held his gaze, unwavering. “He was injured in the Forsaken attack. Maybe you could speed up the healing process for him.”

“Ah,” said Magnus. He rested a hand on her arm, squeezing. “Thank you.”

Isabelle smiled. It was tight and sad. Then she left, and Magnus immediately regretted not asking how to get to the roof. He sighed and braced himself for a long journey navigating the maze that was the Institute.

It did not take as long to find the access to the roof as it had to find the morgue, thank God, but it was still at least fifteen minutes before Magnus could breathe a sigh of relief and stop feeling dizzy at the endless identical hallways. It was only when he found the stairwell up that he paused.

Magnus hadn’t spoken to Alec since he’d paid Magnus that visit. It’d been well over a week. He’d hoped for a text or a call or another impromptu knock at his door, some sign of life, but received none. Magnus had questions and he had worries, and he had things that were both, but he also had no idea what was going on in Alec’s head. Would he want to talk about it? Or had he said what he’d said only to say it, to have it be said, and then to never have to bring it up again?

Magnus didn’t know. He liked to think he was starting to understand Alec, but clearly not well enough. Perhaps the best thing was just to give him space and wait for Alec to come to him. He must’ve known Magnus was coming. If he’d wanted to see him, he would have. The sensible thing was to leave.

Ah, well. Magnus had never been one for sensibility.

Alec was, in fact, on the roof. He was in a t-shirt that couldn’t possibly be warm enough for the windchill up here, but it gave Magnus a nice view of his arms and his shoulders. He had very nice, strong, Shadowhunter muscles, and was using them to draw back the string of his bow and fire arrows into the abyss.

Magnus stopped a few feet away from him. “Did the Institute run out of training dummies?”

Alec started, his fingers slipping on the arrow he’d been about to draw from the quiver. He spun with a frown that only deepened when he saw Magnus. Then he seemed to shake himself. Alec lowered the bow. “It’s quieter up here.”

Magnus hummed in agreement. He played with the insides of his pockets. He would never admit that he had spent twice as long as usual picking out what to wear, but he felt overdressed now. His cashmere, printed suit jacket blocked out most of the wind, but it didn’t compare to Alec’s t-shirt and jeans, both of which he could now see were full of holes.

Magnus’s brow furrowed. “Your arm,” he said. He waved a hand at the bandage around Alec’s left bicep. “May I? Free of charge.”

Alec shifted his jaw. He looked down at his arm. He shook his head, dark hair a moving mess. He made a ‘go ahead’ gesture and extended his arm to Magnus when he stepped forward to take it.

Magnus peeled the bandage back gently. The wound was deep and angry red, made an even angrier red by its contrast to the fresh iratze beside it. Magnus poked the rune. Alec hissed, jerking his arm a bit, and looked at Magnus like he’d been horribly betrayed.

“Sorry,” Magnus murmured. More carefully, he moved his hand over the wound and reached for his magic. It danced into his fingers and twirled into the space between his and Alec’s skin, and then vanished into the wound. The cut stitched itself shut in a blue haze and then smoothed itself over until it was like nothing had ever been there to start with.

Involuntarily, Magnus’s gaze dropped to Alec’s other arm. His wrist was still bare. Magnus shouldn’t have been surprised, but he was still finding it difficult to get used to the idea of someone just… not having a soulmark. This someone in particular.

Alec caught him looking and gently tugged his now healed arm free, pulling Magnus’s attention away. “Thanks.”

Magnus took a half step back and smiled. “My pleasure. As I said, if you ever need anything, I’m here. You could’ve called.”

“Yeah.” Alec shifted uncomfortably, not looking at him. He touched the top of his bow where it rested against the roof’s ledge. “I could’ve. Sorry, I… I didn’t text you. About the books. They were good.”

Magnus continued watching Alec’s face, even though it was turned away from him. “That’s alright. I’m glad you liked them. If you want, you could come over and I could lend you some more.”

Alec met his eyes, then started a bit like he hadn’t expected to. He rubbed his neck where the deflect rune was impossible to miss. He opened his mouth and closed it a few times, his frown many meters deeper than when Magnus had first stepped out onto the roof. Then, he shook his head and met Magnus’s eyes again. The smile he offered was small and private. “I’d like that.”

Magnus offered the same kind of smile back. They looked at each other for another long moment while Magnus decided whether this was the time and place to have a real conversation.

It wasn’t. They were in the Institute, for one. Alec’s siblings were doing something that would no doubt get them into monumental trouble any minute now. Magnus needed to send a fire message to the warlock community with an update on the Valentine situation. Alec was bleeding, still, but from his hands. Magnus had felt it when he’d healed his arm, and he could see it now where it dripped between his fingers. He’d been up here a while, no protective gear while he fired arrow after arrow until every pull of the string dug into open wounds.

Magnus let out a breath. “Right, well. Call me? Or just stop by. Whenever you have the time. I’m usually around, and even more so after dark. I can make you a drink that you might not hate this time, and we can just… talk.”

He watched Alec swallow. He watched him inspect the cuts on his hand, poking at them until all of his fingers were bloody. When it didn’t seem like he was going to say anything, Magnus put his hands in the pockets of his jacket and said, “Okay. I’ll be seeing you, then. Take care of yourself, Alexander.”

Magnus only hesitated for a second before he gave Alec’s now healthy arm a squeeze. He turned away immediately after to go back the way he came. Not that he knew what way that was. He should’ve drawn a map.

Alec stopped him before he’d left the roof. “I’m sorry,” he said. He waited for Magnus to turn back around before he repeated it. “I’m sorry. For last time. Just dumping that on you. I know it’s a lot and it doesn’t really have anything to do with you.”

Magnus looked at Alec. Alec dug his bloody nails into his wrist. His bow rattled against the ledge with the wind.

“It does,” Magnus stated. He offered nothing else.

Alec looked at Magnus. Magnus let him, waiting patiently. He had centuries of experience in patience, despite what his friends might think.

Alec looked away, shaking his head. When he kept not looking at Magnus, Magnus accepted that that was that. He nodded, and turned around again to leave. This time, Alec let him.

He had wondered if Alec knew. He had wondered it as soon as he’d met him, and more when he’d realized it for himself, and more still after the last time they’d seen each other.

Alec did know. Magnus was certain of it now. It’d been written all over his face. He’d known when he’d showed up at Magnus’s door, and he knew it now, too. 

Magnus knew from personal experience that accepting it was another story.

[adorealeclightwood]

Clalec: The Wish Is Revealed.

(Part one ft. Jalec.)

[NOTE: This is strictly platonic. There is no romance here, and there never will be.]

Alec, wait up!

Jace’s voice was lost in the echo of Alec’s footsteps as he stormed out of his office and down the hallway. He’d started to chase after him, but stopped when he realized he needed to let him go. 

For years, he’d been trying to pull Alec in the opposite direction, even more so after Clary came into the picture. 

Calm down, Alec. 

You find everything unusual, Alec. 

Don’t start with me. 

For once, Jace thought, he’d sit back, and let Alec say whatever the hell he felt like saying. He took a deep breath and made his way to his own room; hating to sit idly, but also not wanting to cause any more trouble. Right now, all he could do was lie in bed, with his eyes wide open; halfheartedly hoping he’d sleep peacefully for the first time and days, and wanting to stay awake so he could listen for what was sure to be quite the discussion down the hall. 

Alec paused in front of Clary’s door and listened to the music drifting from behind it. His heart was pounding in his chest, and he had to clench his fists to stop them from trembling. 

How dare she.

How dare she lie to his face, and retreat into a room he allowed her to stay in, and the Institute he was running, and listen to sappy love songs as if everything was fine. 

As if she hadn’t been part of the reason he’d questioned whether or not he was losing his own mind for being so worried about Jace. 

After he’d forced himself to stop seeing her as a little girl, and start sending her on missions like a real Shadowhunter. 

He raised his hand to knock, and froze with his fist in midair. He hadn’t stood in that spot since the days following the possession, which resulted in Jocelyn’s death at his hand. Alec remembered how his stomach and twisted into knots while he watched the security footage; how he’d nearly vomited at the sight of his hand tearing Jocelyn’s heart from her chest. He shook his head rapidly. 

No. 

This was not the same. He refused to let any of those feelings resurface. 

This was about something more; something near and dear to his heart; something he loved almost as often as he loathed. 

This was about a piece of him. 

Clary could come into the Institute and turn it on its head for all he cared, but what she could not do - what she would not do - was mess with Jace. 

Alec’s hand began to hurt as he pounded on Clary’s door. He’d kick it down if he had to. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Her voice rang out. The music was lowered, and there was some muted shuffling before she flung it open. 

Water saturated her fiery mane, which fell around her face haphazardly. She was wearing nothing but a towel, and jumped back at the sight of Alec at her door, rather than Izzy.

“Alec,” She blinked up at him, tightening the grip on her towel before realizing who she was talking to. “What’s going on? Did something get into the Institute?” 

She took in his stance, and furrowed her brow. He’d been knocking like the building was on fire, yet he stood in front of her, looking militant as always with his hands behind his back, and a vacant look on his face. 

“We need to talk.” He said bluntly. She stepped aside and allowed him to come in. 

Alec took the few steps required to enter the room, and shut the door behind him, locking it with a gentle click. Clary wouldn’t be able to dart out and avoid his questions this time. She’d stay in there and deal with them. 

Clary darted around her bathroom, hurrying to dry her skin and slip into some clothes. Now that she was sure there wasn’t an emergency, it felt rude to be nude in Alec’s presence. He was her boss, and she had to respect that. 

She raked a comb through the wet strands on her head a few times before leaving the bathroom, now clothed in a t-shirt and shorts. Alec stood with his back to her, shoulders rigid and squared as he stared out the window. 

“You said we needed to talk,” Clary cleared her throat. “Is it about Izzy?” 

They’d spent a few minutes of the mission surrounded by yin fen dealers, and Izzy had handled herself amazingly well, but she was sure Alec would be checking up on her regardless. Why else would he have come to her door if not to discuss someone he loved? 

Alec turned slowly, and the look on his face caused Clary to take a step back. 

She’d seen a lot of things in his eyes whenever he looked at her in the past. 

Annoyance, because she was in his way. 

Disgust, because Jace had chosen her over his lifelong bond with him. 

Regret, because he still blamed himself for killing her mother, even after she’d assured him it wasn’t his fault. 

Suspicion, because he’d learned who her father was, and strengthened his distrust. 

She’d seen a lot of things, but this...this was foreign. Alec was looking at her like she’d shoved a white-hot blade in his chest, and slowly twisted the blade. A look like that on a face like Alec’s made her own heart rate increase, and she felt it swell in her chest, now filled with concern. 

“Alec?” She asked softly. “What’s wrong?” He tipped his head slowly, still staring down at her. 

“You.” The word slipped from his lips like a curse. “You are what’s wrong.” 

“What are you talking about?” She shifted her weight to the opposite foot. 

“I’m talking about what really happened at Lake Lyn.” 

Clary felt her blood run cold. 

He couldn’t know. 

He couldn’t know. 

Her lips parted and closed again and again, but nothing came out, save for her own panicked breaths. 

How did he find out? Was Magnus able to figure it out somehow? Was there an angel involved?

“H-how,” Clary took a minute to collect herself. “I told you everything, Alec.” 

She attempted to retain her composure, but she knew it was too late. She may have fooled Alec once, maybe even twice, but it wasn’t going to happen a third time. 

“Spare me,” He narrowed his eyes. “Jace already told me the truth.” The venom in his voice saying the word truth didn’t go unnoticed by Clary. 

She may have told him “everything”, but she hadn’t been telling the truth. 

“I wanted to tell you,” She said quickly. “I wanted to tell you before we even left Idris, but-”

“But what?” Alec looked her up and down. “You were too busy basking in the glory of getting your angelic rune? Too busy parading around the ceremony, lying about what it was like to have come face to face with the angel Raziel, and not make a wish?” He’d been trying to keep from raising his voice, but his self-control was slipping, and it was only a matter of time before he came apart at the seams. 

“No, Alec, I swear,” There were tears in Clary’s eyes now. “When you spoke to me that day, I knew I couldn’t fool you for long. I went to Jace right after that, and told him that you needed to know what we did. I told him we could trust you.” 

“Who is ‘we’?” Alec snapped. “Don’t try sharing the blame with him - this is on you, Clary. Jace never asked to be brought back.” 

“What was I supposed to do?” Clary cried. “He’s your parabatai! Was I supposed to let him die? Was I supposed to let you walk around with a piece of your soul missing? Was I supposed to-” 

“You were supposed to tell me the truth!” 

Alec’s voice broke as it echoed throughout the room, and Clary felt it in her bones. 

“You said it yourself,” He went on. “We don’t see eye to eye on things, but the one thing we have in common, is how much we care about Jace. You love him, and he loves you, and I get that, but he’s my parabatai. He’s been that way longer than he’s been your boyfriend, and he’ll always be that.” 

Clary exhaled slowly, watching as Alec ‘s eyes glistened in the dim light. He blinked and glanced at his feet before meeting her eyes again. 

“Twice, I came to you,” He lowered his voice. “I came to you with one statement, and one question. I felt my parabatai rune disappear, and I asked you why. Twice, you lied to me.” Clary knew that well enough - she didn’t need any reminders. 

It killed her to see how badly this was affecting Alec; it had been killing her for weeks. She cringed minimally, thinking back to the nights she spent lying awake in bed, worried sick about Jace. She thought about how many hours she spent kneeling in front of the toilet, dry heaving because of how anxious she’d been. She thought about all those things, and knew it had to have been a cake walk compared to what Alec was feeling all this time. 

“I’m sorry,” She rubbed her eyes. “When he told me that it was the worst offense in the eyes of the clave, and that he wanted to protect you, I had to listen to him, Alec. Neither one of us wanted you to suffer from our - from my actions. You have to know that.” 

Alec chuckled, but there was no humor in it. 

“The clave?” He shook his head. “After all they’ve done, you think I give a damn about the clave? This is Jace we’re talking about.” 

“I know that,” Clary nodded. “I know, I just- I didn’t know there was only one wish. I didn’t think I’d ever have to lie to you, to Izzy - to anyone.” She’d been holding herself together fairly well since this whole ordeal started, but now, she was breaking. 

Clary was crumbling, falling to pieces right in front of Alec, and he didn’t care.

“Get out.” He said. 

“W-what?” Clary wiped her eyes. “And go where?” 

“Anywhere but here,” He squared his shoulders again. “I need to figure out how to fix this, and I’d prefer to do it without you lingering.” 

Clary searched his eyes, scrambling to find something to hold onto; pity, empathy, mercy, something, and found nothing. That was the only way she could describe it. She may be able to reason with Alec one day, but today was not that day. 

He was done with her. 

“Fine,” She said roughly. “Just let me say goodbye to Jace.” 

“Say whatever you want,” Alec spun on his heel. “I want you out by morning.” 

The sound of a slamming door jolted Jace out of a fitful sleep, followed by the sound of Alec’s steady, rhythmic steps retreating down the hall. Jace sat in bed with his head in his hands, wishing he’d stayed awake to hear what had happened. He waited in silence as seconds melted into minutes, until there was a knock on the door. 

He sprang up and rushed to open it, feeling pain in his chest when he spotted Clary there with her arms wrapped around herself, and tears running down her face. 

“Jace, he...” Her lips trembled as words failed her. 

Jace pulled the door open further, and opened his arms. 

“It’ll be okay,” He pulled Clary in for a hug. “We’ll be okay.”