#also thinking of buying a small notebook like this one to make more comics

[lilpuffyart]

Boom another silly halmanpoole fanchild comic be upon you

[innerfare]

Law Relationship Headcanons 

Summary: A collection of random Law relationship headcanons.

Genre: Fluff

CW: None // SFW

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If he meets someone he likes, he’s just going to ask them to join his crew because he literally has no idea how else to get close to you. Will struggle to broach the topic of liking you, too. Might kiss you on a late night in a dark hallway aboard the Polar Tang, but won’t have much to say about it, despite his heart hammering in his chest. If your first kiss isn’t aboard the Polar Tang, it will be somewhere else that’s dark and closed off so he feels comfortable. 

A lot of the things in your relationship will be unspoken, which can be annoying but he’s really not so good with words. When he does open his mouth, he keeps things short and sweet. Much more of a stolen kisses than whispered sweet nothings sort of guy. 

Victim of near insta-love, fell hard for you the very first time he saw you doing the morning crossword in the newspaper. Quickly became obsessed with the way you smirk victoriously to yourself when you figure out one of the words, even more obsessed with the way you flick him when he answers one for you. 

Started having nightmares not long after he met you, horrid dreams of you dying in gruesome ways, sometimes at the hands of the Donquixote family, other times at the hands of the World Government. Feels physically ill himself when you catch even a slight cold due to his past and the sheer number of people he knew who were taken from him. Tries to keep you out of danger to an almost comical degree, forcing you to sit down and have a conversation about it.  

Will happily answer to both Captain and Doctor and daddy.

If you have long hair, he keeps a hair tie or two on his wrist for you. Claims it’s just because you’re so annoying when you lose all of yours and complain incessantly about it. 

Lays in bed when you get out of the shower and watches you brush your hair. Actually got mad at you the first time he saw you brush your hair in a common space (before you two were an item) because it had such a strong effect on him and he didn’t know what to do; accused you of getting hair all over the place or something equally ridiculous; when you tell him Bepo sheds more than you, he starts grumbling under his breath and leaves the room. 

Writes you small notes on scraps of paper and folds them into origami- swans, rabbits, flowers, butterflies, you name it; he keeps a mental chart of your reaction to each shape and ranks them accordingly, saving the best ones for hard days. The notes aren’t anything particularly heartfelt or special, just small mundane things such as, “y/n-ah, don’t forget to take it easy today. You’re still injured,” or a book title and page number because he read something he thought you might find interesting. You’ve taken to using the origami notes as bookmarks, which makes his heart swell with pride and something else he knows deep down is love but is hesitant to name. 

He also made you a bouquet of origami flowers for you to keep on your nightstand since you complained there’s not enough light under the sea for you to keep a plant alive. Sometimes, he’ll make some new flowers to freshen up the bouquet (you have a box in your desk drawer where you stash the old ones). 

When you two are cooking, he gets a bit annoyed when you munch on some of the ingredients. He’s a ‘measure everything to 1/20 of a teaspoon and not a single pinch more or less’ sort of guy. He’s also a ‘no fries in the car before we get home and eat our burgers’ sort of guy. 

If he buys you gifts, it’s typically practical things, such as a new notebook because you said you needed one, or a better jacket so you don’t steal his on winter islands (you still steal his, it drives him insane because he can't stop blushing when you wear his clothes and he's trying to look intimidating). Also buys you books he thinks you’ll like, sometimes gets it wrong but you don’t tell him because it took him so long to open up and get comfortable and put himself out there and you don’t want to be discouraging for fear he’ll retreat back into his shell. Has also bought you a few dainty pieces of jewelry, expensive but not flashy. 

Is a hand holder, but he doesn’t do it in public. If you pass each other in the hallway, his fingers will always tangle with yours for just a quick second. When the two of you are alone, though, he wants your hand in his constantly. He’ll hold your hand while you’re both reading your books, hold your hand while falling asleep, etc. Sometimes, at meal times, he’ll hold your hand under the table, but that’s only on extra clingy days. (Clingy days are the good days for Law, his bad days being the ones when he retreats into his shell and falls asleep on the sofa in his office without eating.) 

Gives hand kisses. Will kiss each of your knuckles, will catch your hand when you pass him in the hallway and press a kiss into your palm, will climb into bed on a late night and place a few goodnight kisses on the back of your hand, will place his lips on your hand every time he gets it in his. Likes kissing up your wrist and arm before pulling you closer and kissing your neck. His kisses are always warm, btw, and not very messy. 

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Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!

[chaaistained]

🍨 and ☕️ for your marauders dr and your gotham academy dr coz i haven’t seen anyone ask about your other drs n im highkey curios lmao

omgggg a dr i haven’t talked a lot abt?? anon you’re already interesting to me bcs you asked abt this specific dr like man . i haven’t touched this drs script in ages but i’m proud of it !! ty for the ask darling 🫶🏽

🍨 affogato . . . how does your s/o show love? does their love language align with one of the traditional 5 types, or is it something unique to them? do they have a special way of making you feel appreciated?

for my MARAUDERS DR — regulus is a big quality time and physical touch person. he's also a big bickering person. i think this is a trope i end up subconsciously manifesting with every single s/o but he seems to find some weird enjoyment in annoying me, in a way where i'm not exactly annoyed just irritably amused. but yeh he mostly just likes hanging out with me, it's usually silent where we're doing our own thing or it's me talking and he'll chime in every so often with a thought or something to add to my rambles, he also likes being in some form of physical contact, usually it's our knees or elbows touching, or our shoulders. his fingers manage to find their way between mine every time our hands are near, stuff like that. i think something quite unique to him is eye contact, regulus is usually someone who's gaze would sweep past another person, he doesn't really pay much mind to those who don't matter to him, and even when he is paying attention, he's usually looking elsewhere, at the ground, at the sky, his notebook, a piece of parchment, he's occupied whilst listening. but with me, i notice he gives me his full attention more often than not, he really searches for my eyes, esp when i'm actively looking away. it's quite flustering but it also immediately calms me down so in that way, i appreciate it more than i let on

for my GOTHAM ACADEMY DR — let it be known here first, my s/o in my gotham academy dr is (drum rolls) damian wayne!! also disclaimer : this is a different damian wayne than my other dc drs. like in my arrowverse dr, damian's just bruce's kid and he has a different face claim and a more comic accurate personality, but in my gotham academy dr, my face claim for damian is technically my better cr bf and dami's personality is a bit different too, so idk, in my head they're like different people? anyway. damian also fits the bill with the "annoying my girl bcs i need that adrenaline rush while she glares at me" bullshit .. other than that he's mainly very words of affirmation. damian is incredibly observant and he can pretty easily pick up on where i need validation and he readily offers to me. actually, he pretty much offers every opinion up kinda readily, but especially so when he's building up my confidence. he also just enjoys giving me compliments, says its the least he can do. also an avid gift giver, would start off by researching what to gift a girl and would buy some really expensive things but he quickly realises that i more so appreciate the depth of the gifts like when he sketches me whilst i'm not paying attention and slips the sketch in between the pages of my notebook, or when he paints on those small canvases you can display on your desk, or when he finds this very specific scent of perfume that i loved and forgot the name of and gives it me on a random tuesday — he's extremely observant and equally as thoughtful

☕️ hot chocolate . . . what does the winter season look like for you two? are you two the type to stay cozy inside and order takeout, or would you rather go for a walk in the snow ? do you celebrate any holidays, birthdays, or anniversaries together during winter?

for my MARAUDERS DR — winter at hogwarts is absolutely magical, everything is covered in white pearlescent snow which seems to glitter every time the sun peeks through the clouds. winter with regulus is a lot of sneaking into each other's common rooms and finding some small toasty corner and cuddling there. usually we're reading books or ranting about the latest quidditch match, whether its a professional league or a match at our school. a lot of nights are spent in the library, the senior studies section is notorious for becoming a camping ground and regulus and i are not unfamiliar with it. also a lot of trips to hogsmeade, like every week, when winter rolls around classes start to slack off ever so slightly, everyone getting ready for the holidays. a lot of walks to this one lake in hogsmeade, i try my best to ice skate in my shoes and regulus leans against a tree eating a warmed pumpkin pasty while enjoying the show aka me falling flat on my ass. if the nights ever get super cold i actually go to his dorm and sleep next to him, the invisibility cloak is a godsend at that point. the dungeons can get pretty chilly so i convince him that sharing body heat is the way to go ahahahsdk and ofcs he's not one to deny a night of cuddles. essentially, we try and spend as much time together as we can before we need to separate for christmas which we each spend with our folks.

for my GOTHAM ACADEMY DR — winter in gotham is a bit of a nightmare at times i’ll be honest, but there are these moments . when it’s early in the morning, the sky is still a light violet blue, the city is starting to bustle again, slowly waking up, and the somber grey of the sky seems to beg you to stay in bed for an hour longer, yeahhh i tend to sleep in a lot and usually find myself being woken up by damian while he’s on a morning patrol before school. it’s a bit odd to wake up to robin rapping his knuckles against your bedroom window and sneaking in softly after he sees you peek up from under the covers. a lot of study dates which end up being movie dates, textbooks open yet abandoned on his bed while we huddle under a blanket with his projector set up, both of us with warm mugs of alfred’s hot chocolate and cookies. we also always make it habit to visit the gotham city winter wonderland fair, mostly because something wrong is bound to happen at some point and it’s wise for one of the bats to be there to prevent it and assist civilians, but also, it’s just fun in general — warm street food, shining bright lights, carnival games, damian’s arm over my shoulder while we try and out shoot each other and he loses graciously bcs he can’t raise suspicion, so i choose to buy the stuffed animal that he wanted rather than the one i wanted. also, i cannot possibly forget this, but bat family snowball battles >>>

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[ ask game link ]

cuppa queries; order in — ask responses

2025 © chaaistained

[thestarfishface]

Kinda feel bad about not drawing much just because I don't have much to post. The truth is that I draw a LOT it's just mostly stuff I can't post right away (comic pages and video artwork/thumbnails), combined with having very little motivation to work on properly finished pieces right now. Sketching heals my weary soul.

Anyway I have 4 sketchbooks now and none of them are finished because Oops

So a few months ago I got a sketchbook and some alcohol markers sent to me as part of a sponsorship. The sketchbook is really nice marker paper and I love it but I have accidentally worked myself into the mindset of "If I draw in this sketchbook it needs to be for marker pieces". Which is silly, because the marker sketchbooks are not that expensive, but that's where my brain is at. The other problem is that this sketchbook is Big which makes it hard to carry around.

A few weeks later I was in a bookstore and saw some Moleskine notebooks. I've scoffed at MS notebooks before because they're really expensive considering the paper quality, but when I checked this most recent time I saw they had a line of smaller, art-specific sketchbooks that supposedly had thicker paper. "Bet", I said, and bought one, even though it came shrink wrapped and I couldn't feel the paper first.

It is heavenly. I love it. The paper is so so thick and smooth and I love every second I spend drawing on it. It's not really thick enough to handle my alcohol markers, but for little sketches with sharpie and brush pens (my favorite <3) it handles amazingly.

I liked having it as a travel sketchbook, but around the time I bought it I was struggling with some Life Stuff and needed somewhere to get the feelings out, so my MS notebook ended up becoming half sketchbook and half diary. And now the problem is that I LOVE drawing in my little MS sketchbook, but it is now filled with Sad Thoughts so I feel like I can't bring it out of the house with me. Or else I run the risk of people seeing the Sad Thoughts.

So THEN I think "Well shit, now I need to buy another mini sketchbook that can be my actual Small Sketchbook To Carry Around With Me (That Does Not Have Sad Thoughts In It), so I bought another, non-Moleskine sketchbook. So I did, and it's... okay. The paper's not AS thick but it's lavender and very cute and has more pages. And I figure "Okay, now the MS notebook can be my journal with some doodles in it, and the purple sketchbook can be the travel book."

BUT THEN I was at the Fancy Bookstore last weekend and got curious about another brand of fancy sketchbooks. They were also shrink-wrapped so I couldn't test the paper for myself, but from the numbers on the packaging it seemed like the paper was a decent weight! And it had some other cool features like numbered pages!

Turns out I got confused because I thought the paper weight was in pounds, turns out it's in grams, and the paper is BAD. SUPER thin and transparent, not even worth being a sketchbook. BUT. It is cute and orange. And it works nicely with some cute little stationery pens I have and like writing with.

So... Now I have my black sketchbook (big, for markers), my Moleskine sketchbook (red, my favorite for sketching but contaminated with Sad Thoughts so it's not allowed to leave the house), my purple sketchbook (travel sketchbook, cute), and orange sketchbook (locked forever in diary purgatory). Someone help that is too many.

(Next time I'm at the bookstore someone might need to physically restrain me from buying another mini Moleskine notebook. I have a PROBLEM!!! And the problem is WHY IS THIS PAPER SO NICE???!?! AGH)

[sabrinatvband]

Fat Evil Women devlog 1

I'm working on a new comic and I thought it would be good to share some notes on its production. I think this will be the only devlog I share publically for this comic; I'll probably include a start-to-finish log with all of the concept art and layout roughs as a tier bonus when I sell this on itch.io later. But, here's a very generous taste.

This comic is eventually going to be sold as a CBR file on itch, but I'm also doing to try printing it on A3 paper [which will be folded] and making a small batch of physical copies to give away. It will probably be 32 pages long. It's going to be an anthology [with one particularly long story]. In other words, it's going to be a complete comic, like one you might buy in a comic shop, rather than something more "informal" in shape. In the future, I plan on making enough of these to collect them in trade paperback form, perhaps as a print on demand book?

So far I've done a couple of layouts and compiled a ton of notes. Work on this project began with a simple two-page layout for a bimbo sequence.

I did all the pencilling, inking, and coloring in between two and four hours I think. The first panel on the second page uses an old drawing of the bimbo character I'd drawn several months ago.

I then made a sequence using a Goblin Queen character I'd created around a year ago. Here's the sequence and the original illustration I'd done. The second incomplete panel is from an old drawing I started but never finished.

Yes, the Goblin Queen who looks nothing like a goblin is meant to be a reference of sorts to the Goblin King from Labyrinth, if you were wondering. Except my Goblin Queen mostly hangs out with dark elves.

These sequences are only meant to be rough guides for the final drawings, but I put way more efforts into my layouts than I actually need to. After making these two page sequences, I decided to do something a little more ambitious.

I illustrated a woman wearing a shiny black dress, and she reminded me of an old indie porno producer character I'd created a while ago named Demonia [please ignore how terrible the old three part sequence looks; I didn't know how to draw fat women yet].

When I started plotting this sequence out in my notebook, it was only four pages long. But I added a bunch of extra panels in later and brought it up to six pages [The numbers are original panels, and the letters are ones I added in after making the first complete rough layout.]

I made some concept art for characters I'd mentioned in the script that didn't have designs yet, as well as a few locations. I then compiled all of that into a CBR file I can refer to while working on the final art [the blacked out bits in the thumbnails are photo references].

I then started work on another sequence that quickly grew beyond the six pages I was initially planning on doing.

A few years ago, when I first started using my Wacom, I illustrated an androgynous spider creature. Much more recently, I started moving overseas and started designing new characters in my sketchbook that I was planning on making digital pieces with later, and I revisited my spider concept. If you overlay the rough spider drawing from the sketchbook page with the digital WIP below, you'll notice I did a whole bunch of warping and stuff to the individual limbs to make it look better.

This WIP will appear in finished form in the spider comic somewhere; look out for it.

Anyways, I decided this spider would be perfect for a weight gain sequence, and so I started making concept art.

This is just a fraction of the concept art I created. I've done at least 15 pages of work for this comic, and a lot of it is exploratory work. In the beginning, I had basically no idea what the plot of the sequence would be, and designing new characters and illustrating scenarios gave shape to the story.

After making maybe three or four pages of sketches, and writing a list of elements I wanted to be in the story in my notebook, I made this rough synopsis of the plot. I then started working on a CBR file for the spider sequence that includes photo references, sketches, old designs I want to repurpose, scans of my notebook, etc.

Work was slowing down in my notebook, and so eventually I made a text document and started writing down panel-by-panel bullet points. Of course this all needs to be adapted into rough visuals, but I covered a lot of ground with this after building my foundation.

You might be wondering what the point of all this pre-production work is. The problem with comics as a medium is that it's extremely time intensive, and so you have to get all of the iterative stuff done long before you put pencil to bristol board for the first time [assuming you only use bristol board during the very last stage of your process].

[Old comic artists were sometimes drawing upwards of 40 pages a month, and they didn't have time to think things out so thoroughly. But for people who aren't drawing multiple books a month, it's been common to do multiple waves of layouts for decades, and this pre-production stuff has only gotten more common. Which is good; quality > quantity. The video on layouts below is a great overview.]

While I was doing layouts in my notebook for this spider sequence, I started working out a page that ended up not hitting all of the notes it needed to. If I'd been drawing by the seat of my pants, it would've been a big problem, but when you're doing layouts with illustrations only two or three steps above stick figure drawings, re-doing a page is not a hassle.

You might be wondering what my actual workflow is for producing finished art. Once I got very used to the feeling of using an Intuos Wacom, I told myself I was going to draw comics entirely digitally. It made a lot of sense; I could use layers, perspective work is a lot easier digitally, and I can fix mistakes and/or warp things a lot more easily.

Over time, I realized I hated doing everything digitally. There are many things that are better digital, like coloring. I prefer drawing pin-ups digitally. But I really don't like drawing an entire page digitally, and I realized my previous serious comic attempts had all petered out when it was time to start doing the final work in the computer, after the layouts and stuff had already been completed.

Of course, I'd tried making professional quality work without computers before. But it's nearly impossible to do that inside of a sketchbook [although I'd drawn many joke comics in highschool using a sketchbook], and using only bristol board I had problems with things like perspective; I have a lot of respect for older artists who couldn't use any digital tools.

So, I've resolved to buy a scanner and printer. I'm going to make final layouts in my art programs that have skeletons laid out where I want them, perspective grids, panel layouts, etc, and then I'll print them onto bristol board using light blue ink [which doesn't get picked up by a scanner]. I'll then do the final pencilling and inking on bristol board, scan those pages, and do any touch-ups and coloring in the computer.

I forgot to mention that none of these comics have words. Perhaps future issues of Fat Evil Women will have dialogue and stuff, but as a conceptual thing this first issue is basically completely silent. When I was making panel grids digitally to start working on some final layouts, I noticed that, when you don't have any speech bubbles, a traditional six panel grid looks way too square and vertical. So, I've decided to make my spider sequence on a four-tier grid, which shouldn't be a massive change. The entire story uses uniform rows, and so it just means moving stuff back. There are no dramatic page-turn moments that will be compromised by this change.

I might have to alter the Demonia sequence as well, but probably not. Since the height of the panels in the two page sequences are variable, I think I'll leave them exactly as they are.

I was planning on including a giantess sequence in this first issue as well, but if I reach 32 pages without it then I'll have to push it to a later issue. But since I'm moving to four-tier layouts, I might end up with a lot fewer pages than expected.

[moon-lixie]

about a letter left to be found and a boy who disappeared into thin air.

word count: 2.046k

genre: slight angst

song: 말할 수 없는 비밀 (Secret Secret) - Stray Kids

I don't think any of you would be able to understand, not even if I sit down and speak all of my truths. Still, I think I owe an explanation.

With trembling hands he gathered his things, the notebooks filled with dreams spilling from the edges of every page, his favourite hoodies, the pair of bright red headphones he had since the beginning of high school.

From the open window a cold breeze came in and ruffled the slightly damp hair of the boy, paying special attention to the ends that were still clamped together due to the dampness.

He wasn't exactly in a hurry, but he still felt nervous and anxious, because even if it was almost impossible, at the back of his mind he was haunted by the idea of someone coming in and stopping him.

Moving quickly he reached down for the towel hanging around his shoulders and ruffled his hair a couple of times more until he felt satisfied.

First of all, I have no idea where I am going but know that I'm fine.

A loud sigh caressed his lips as it escaped, filling the room that he had always called his own, his little world nobody could disrupt because in between the forgotten comics and the piles of clothes sprawled here and there he had felt more at home than he has ever felt anywhere else.

Throwing the towel to the basket of dirty laundry at the end of the hallway, he finally finished everything he had to do, simply being left with staring at himself in the mirror and fixing the wild strands of hair that had been upset by the freshly washed hoodie hugging his torso.

He could barely muster a smile at his reflection, not because he was sad, but because it all felt surreal in a sense that left him wondering if it was still the middle of the night many years ago and the last years had been nothing but the hopeful dreams of his younger self.

Maybe it's a bit selfish of me to simply leave without a warning, but please understand that I want much more than this place could ever offer me.

He closed the front door of his house, locking it with the pair of keys his mother had given him once he turned twelve; they were still held together by the Pororo keychain he had bought one day after school with such an overwhelming excitement that made the memory pull at the corners of his lips.

It felt bizarre to walk away from the entrance of his home knowing that he was never really going to come back, that this was the last time.

Just like the very first time he had arrived there along with a moving truck packed with boxes and furniture, he felt breath leave his lungs at the sight of the white façade. It made him stop for a second and contemplate in utter silence.

Goosebumps coated the length of his arms once he turned around and kept moving forward at a steady pace, leaving his old bike behind as well.

Know that the decision to leave wasn't made in a haste, I've been thinking about it for long and now just seemed like the perfect time.

Mr. Kim lazily waved in his direction, gentle smile and downturned eyes with the familiar brown that reminded Jisung of his grandfather; maybe that's where he would go next, to visit his grandfather.

Without much thought he returned the sweet and familiar greeting, feeling a bit nostalgic when he thought back to all the summers that he had spent working with the man in his garden.

Back then a young Jisung had been happy to make a few bucks while getting to stay out all day in the yard playing with bugs and with the sun kissing the skin of his chubby cheeks and legs that weren't covered by his favourite pair of green shorts.

He couldn't help but wonder where had all that time run to because despite being the one who lived through it, he could barely make sense or when had he ended up where he was.

Time moved too fast and without a warning, it left everyone wondering.

It isn't easy to leave my whole life behind but it feels right, the mere idea makes me feel lighter because who knows who I'll get to be when I get to the end of my journey.

Perhaps I'll be braver, a little bit smarter, more mature, maybe even a couple of centimetres taller.

He could walk the streets with his eyes closed and still know where every bump and crack was in the sidewalk, he could still point where his old school was, where the closest convenience store stepped in his way and as usual tempted him to buy a snack even on those days were his pockets were empty and his tummy full.

From there he knew his way to everywhere else in town, he even knew how long it would take him to get to said places on foot or with his trusty bike.

It all felt too easy and familiar, too comfortable, and those things weren't bad at all but Jisung thought he had had enough of them. He craved discovering himself inside the walls of another place so foreign that every single one of his truths were only known by himself.

Was it silly? That he thought a change of scenery would make him a new person, one much more alike to who he truly was.

Sometimes talking to someone isn't enough, because you don't think they'll understand, you know they won't. That's why I never said anything about the deepest desires looming in my heart or the biggest fears that tied me down for as long as I can remember.

All the interrogations running leaps around his mind made him walk faster, filling him with the same dreadful excitement he felt every first day of school, one that mixed with nervousness and fear.

He wasn't sure if starting fresh would let him be someone whose fears didn't weigh upon his heart so harshly, he wasn't sure if he would get to be the person he had always wished he could be but he could only hope.

Hope had been what drove him this far and today he was giving it full control of where his feet moved to, control over how his next day would look like or where he would wake up the next day.

Never in his life had he felt more ready to wander around by himself.

But I guess, since I'm going, it's only fair that I try to sit down and talk to someone, hoping that they will understand even if my words are scarce and there will be nobody to talk back to at the end of this letter.

On the horizon the sun rushed to slumber, leaving a comforting lilac pooling around the clouds and making them stand out even more.

Night hovered over his shoulders making him breathe with much more ease because if there was something that portrayed hope and tomorrow with an uncanny resemblance and lack of effort, it was the night sky with its endless stars and its shining moon.

In his childhood days he had discovered that there was no better cure for uncertainty and a nostalgic heart than staring up at the night sky; there was something about it that made him feel like time stopped for an instance, that time wasn't quite as unforgiving while the veil of darkness covered everything.

If he could go anywhere he wanted —which he was already doing— he would wish to go to the sky, not the endless and uncertain space, but the idea of the sky that humans have in their ignorance, a canvas that goes no further than our eyes can see.

Ever since I can remember I've felt like there was a place for me somewhere out there, a place I always called home without knowing what it really was.

It wasn't like I didn't feel at home here, there was just a feeling in my chest that told me out there I could feel completely free in the way I've always craved.

For him it had always felt unfair, how everyone got to live and walk around without the things that kept him back. Of course when he grew older he understood that everyone had their own problems but sometimes that was easy to ignore when one's own darkness loomed around their heart.

He had spent many years wishing, praying to whoever was listening, that he could just be himself without the voices in his head and the uncertainties that made every single one of his steps be cautious.

Nobody seemed to have listened as years went by and things got harder, still, he never gave up and even though he could never really say that there was nothing else bothering him he could at least say that he had everything under control.

If time is unforgiving it also is healing, and for him it had healed many wounds that couldn't be seen.

Unknowingly I spent a lot of time wanting to go to that place, craving to find where it was.

Some years ago I understood that it perhaps wasn't a place but a version of myself that could bring such soothing feelings. That's where I'm going to, that's why I have no destination.

He wanted to believe that nothing had been planned, that his savings carefully stuffed at the bottom of his backpack had just been him being responsible about his money and having enough for the impulsiveness that one day had won over reason and had driven him to this adventure.

He wanted to pretend but it was stupid to do now, there was nobody around to judge him or question his motives, so there was no use in not being honest with himself.

Thinking back to all those evenings spent running around the small restaurant in which he had found a job, he could see that perhaps this plan had been many years in the making.

Unconsciously he had always been hoping for a moment like this, a moment of unadulterated freedom.

Hopefully I do get there, hopefully I get to be happy and everyone I left behind does too.

The journey to happiness, to authenticity, to being unapologetically himself, had taken him to the airport, another thing that wasn't as spontaneous as he had tried to make it seem.

Passport in hand and trembling self, the whiteness of the place and the various people walking back and forth made him realise that this was really going on, he was really leaving.

For the first time in his life overthinking had no place in his plans.

I wish to be who I am meant to and disappearing was perhaps the thing I had always been destined to do. A boy who disappeared into thin air, that's who I am, a boy with secrets that weigh down on my heart and that I'm unwilling to carry with me on this journey.

Approaching the desk he was met with a young woman, in her mid twenties or early thirties, sweet but practised smile covering her lips as she recited the words that he must've learned a long time ago when she first started working there.

"I want a ticket for the next flight available," Jisung said, offering a reassuring smile after the confused look the woman gave him.

He looked around as the sounds of typing filled his ears and before he had time to start regretting something the ticket had been placed on his palm and his savings were short by a considerable amount.

I'm afraid that wasn't much of an explanation but it was my truth.

Good luck and see you whenever we're meant to cross paths.

The last thing he saw before falling asleep were the clouds from above and the sky now completely dark like the many nights he had wondered where he belonged.

Now he had an answer, he belonged wherever he felt free and right then in that comfortable plane seat he felt the freest he had ever been.

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

My dearest bouncey! I have a prompt for you if you like: Witchers as a 90s/2000s boyband 😂🤷‍♀️💖💖💖

Ellie, darling, this started as 500 words and turned into like 3.2k words and also a piece of art so... thank you so much. also shout out to my amazing art pal @mawbwehownets for the little comic!!

this contains lots of 90′s/early 2000′s nostalgia so there is also that

tw: hornyish, smooching, perilous music video situations (corny)

---

“Do I have to?” Geralt groans, letting his forehead thud down against the linoleum surface of their tour bus’s shitty dining table.

“Yes,” Vesemir says. His tone leaves no room for argument or whining. “But what if I let you pick the winner personally?”

“There have to be like fifteen thousand letters to go through! How will I manage that in less than two days?”

“There were a few more than fifteen thousand applications, Geralt. There were probably closer to five hundred thousand.”

Lambert wolf whistles and Aiden claps.

Geralt grimaces and keeps his face hidden against the table, releasing a slightly muffled: “Fuck.”

“Language,” Vesemir frowns. He tugs gently at Geralt’s loose ponytail and the singer lifts his head up from the table again, looking at his manager with beseeching eyes. “Anyway, we’ve narrowed it down to about fifty. You can go through those and choose whichever person you’d like to play your love interest. But you have to give me an answer by Friday. The shoot is in three weeks and whoever wins this stupid competition will need time to make arrangements.”

“I thought we were footing the bill for their food and their hotel room,” Geralt raised an eyebrow. “What would they need to arrange?”

“Not everyone can board their pets at the flick of a wrist, dude,” Lambert scoffs from his seat on the couch. Aiden lies draped across his lap, as usual, and the two of them are halfheartedly watching The Lion King. They can only watch movies when the bus is stationary, otherwise the VHS player might move too much while running and damage the film inside the cassette. Even taking advantage of such a rare opportunity, Lambert and Aiden still seem more interested in each other than Jonathan Taylor Thomas’s voice acting. 

“Lambert has a point,” Vesemir sighs. He scrubs his hand over his lightly whiskered face like a tired grandparent and sighs again, more heavily. “It’ll be good for you boys to have a normal person around for a few days. Maybe they’ll be able to put some things into perspective.”

Geralt can only roll his eyes a little bit and thank his manager regardless of his own feelings; he and the rest of TW5 owe the seasoned musical expert their entire careers. Without Vesemir’s help and mentorship they would never have made it past their first disastrous record deal. They certainly wouldn’t have reached the heights they’re at now, enjoying international fame and recognition. 

The begrudging frontman accepts a heavy plastic bin of file folders from Vesemir and sets them down next to his bunk. “Are these organized in any particular way?”

“Nope.”

“Cool.”

Geralt digs his hand into the pile and pulls out a piece of pale-pink stationary, eager to get started and, by extension, get finished. He can already tell that it’s going to be a long couple of days.

---

“I want this one, please, Ves.”

“Huh?” Vesemir looks up from his palm-pilot. Geralt is standing in front of him and trying to hand him something. 

“I want this guy to be in the music video with me.” Geralt holds out the letter again, fingers trapping the accompanying polaroid headshot with great care. A pair of bright blue eyes stares up from the photo, highlighting the subject’s bright smile and unruly mop of messy brown hair. Vesemir tries to hide his amusement; totally Geralt’s type, if the big oaf could admit to having one.

“Alright. I’ll get everything in order. We start shooting in two and a half weeks so get your asses to the gym, please.”

“Yes, Ves,” all five young men chorus. 

“Tomorrow,” Coen mutters a moment later than everyone else, not glancing up from his composition notebook. Vesemir nods in understanding. Coen is the best lyricist of the lot and it’s easier to let him work when inspiration strikes than beg him to focus when he can’t get a solitary idea to stick.

“So why’d you pick that one, Ger-bear?” Lambert drawls. Aiden nods and leans against Lambert’s side. Geralt can’t help the mild jealousy that overtakes him every time he sees his bandmates touch each other with such casual affection. He wants that intimacy, that softness behind the veneer of famous indifference. He wants someone to hold. 

“Yeah. What drew your attention to that poor unfortunate soul. Was it the floppy hair, the big blue eyes, or the dopey grin?” Aiden smirks.

“Hmm.”

“Fuck you,” Eskel sighs, looking between the two troublemakers with the tired gaze of an eldest sibling, “Fuck you for even asking in the first place and expecting a straight answer.”

“Straight is the furthest thing from his answer,” Lambert chuckles. He is promptly smacked in the head with one of the couch’s hideous throw pillows. The youngest member of the band rubs the side of his face and chuckles, “Alright, I deserved that one.”

---

“Holy shit!” Jaskier practically screams. “Holy motherfucking shit!”

“What!?” Yennefer comes flying around the corner. “What’s wrong!?”

“Nothing is wrong, Yenna! Everything is awesome! Everything absolutely fucking rocks!”

“Did you get hit on the head by a falling branch between here and the mailbox or what? You were whining about your finals work not five min-”

“Look at this!” Jaskier shoves an open envelope into her hands and cuts her off. Yennefer reads the watermarked documents once. Twice. Her eyes almost pop out of her head when the words and their meanings finally sink in. 

“Are you fucking with me right now?”

“No, I am absolutely not!” her giddy roommate cheers, bouncing up and down in place. “I did it! I won!”

“Holy shit.”

“I know! I get to kiss Geralt deRiv!” he practically cackles. Then freezes. “Holy fuck I get to kiss Geralt deRiv.”

“You said that already,” Yen teases. She shoves the paperwork back into his hands and grabs a takeout menu from the junk drawer near her hip. “Since you won the makeout lottery, you get to buy lunch. Lucky bastard.”

---

“So this will be your dressing room,” someone’s underpaid PA says, ushering Jaskier into a small, bright room. “Priscilla will be here shortly to get you into hair and makeup.”

“Oh, uh- thanks!”

“Yup.”

And with that, the young man disappears back down the hallway toward the sound stage. Jaskier jogs his leg anxiously as he waits for Priscilla to arrive, nervous and otherwise totally alone in the huge grey building. As the minutes tick by and his heart rate rises, Jaskier’s intrusive thoughts make an unwanted appearance: What if they forget about me being here? What if there’s been a mistake and they accidentally hired two love interests and I just sit in here for hours all alone while-

“Hi!” a bright, peppy blonde woman flies through the door and startles him back to reality. “Nice to meet you, I’m Priscilla! You can call me Priss; I’ll be doing your hair and makeup for the video this week!”

“Oh… hi. I’m Julian, but I prefer Jaskier.”

“Lovely! Well, Jaskier, is your hair naturally this color?”

“Y-Yes?”

“Perfect! I don’t want to mess with such a lovely shade of natural brown, but do you mind if I give it a bit of a trim? I have a few ideas for styles right here in my book- How do you feel about some feathering back here? I think-” she fluffs a few of the hairs around the nape of Jaskier’s neck “-I could really bring out the curls if I adjusted the length a bit and used some product.”

“Just, uhm, go for it, then! Feel free to make me as pretty as possible!” Jaskier declares. He’s committing to this experience wholeheartedly, determined to allow himself every opportunity for positive change. He wants to really let himself enjoy it, and he needs a haircut anyway. Priscilla spends an hour washing, cutting, drying, and styling his hair into a lovely fringed sweep across his forehead. It ends just above his brows, giving his face a slightly softer shape than usual. He grins over his shoulder, “I love it! I’m going to miss you when I’m back at Oxenfurt. Good stylists are so hard to find.”

Priss blushes and nudges against his shoulder, “Oh, you little charmer.”

“I mean it,” he says, examining himself in the mirror. “I look like I could really be worthy of a heroic rescue! This is going to be such a fantastic memory, and I appreciate it. Thank you so much.”

Priss bites back a genuine tear and smiles, “Now that your natural prettiness has been mildly enhanced, let’s get you over to wardrobe, shall we?”

“Wardrobe? Do I have, like, a costume? What’s the music video even about?”

“They didn’t tell you any of this when you got here?”

“Not… not really.”

“Well, my darling, I think you’re really going to like it; they’ve got you in Versace for the first scene.”

“Versace!?” 

Then Jaskier is being ushered into a bright, colorful room full to bursting with grim-faced, middle-aged women and he loses track of his only braincell for the rest of the morning.

---

“You must be Julian!” Lambert declares, bounding up to him and grinning. It’s a feral, animalistic grin and Jaskier resists the sudden urge to take a step back.

“I prefer Jaskier, if you don’t mind too much,” Jaskier corrects him quietly. Lambert rolls his eyes in a long-suffering kind of way and throws a meaty arm around the shorter man’s shoulders, completely ignoring the wardrobe technician’s wincing as he wrinkles the expensive silk jacket. 

“No need to be quiet and polite around here, my dude. We’re just a bunch of rowdy idiots, aren’t we, guys?” 

“Hell yeah!” Aiden calls back. Eskel sighs like the put-upon nanny in a Victorian Redanian comedy. 

“Speak for yourself,” Coen barely lifts his frosted tips up from his book long enough to speak. Geralt is-

Holy motherfucking Britney Spears on toast.

Geralt is the hottest thing Jaskier has ever seen in his short, unfulfilled-until-right-now life. Forget Ralph Macchio. Forget Leonardo Dicaprio and Kate Winslet and Winona Ryder. This man is… Geralt deRiv is… he’s the picture of perfection. And he’s right there, standing in front of an elaborate party set with his thick, beautiful arms crossed over his chest and his eyes trained on the floor, as if willing it to swallow him whole. Jaskier realizes that he probably didn’t have any choice in the matter; maybe this was just as awkward and uncomfortable for Geralt as it was for Jaskier. 

“Ger-bear!” Lambert whoops, yanking Jaskier closer to the brooding frontman. If only he were brave enough to struggle for escape; alas. “This is your boy-toy for the week. Goes by Jaskier, apparently.”

“Nice to meet you,” Geralt manages to grunt. “How did you like the script?”

“I haven’t uh- I haven’t actually seen it?”

“Shit. Fuck. One second,” Geralt huffs, disappearing into the crowd of technicians and machinery operators and PAs. Jaskier loves him already, for real. Sure, he was pretty in the music videos and promo material, but the way he said fuck like it was the noblest word he could think of… Geralt interrupts his train of thought by coming back with a sheaf of papers clutched in his hand. He shuffle-shoves them into Jaskier’s arms immediately. “There you go.”

“Thank you!” Jaskier smiles. It’s genuine and shy, more tenuous than his usual goofy grin. He flips through the pages, glancing between the script to his expensive suit, “So I’m guessing we’re at a party for this scene? Or something?”

“This is… where we meet. This is where… you and I uh…”

Jaskier’s eyes scan the page as Geralt’s ability to speak slowly leaves him. 

Lover ENTERS LEFT, dressed to the nines. Lover adjusts their tie/boa and takes a look around the room. S/He looks sad and a little hopeful. PULL BACK to Geralt, who approaches slowly. Their eyes meet. HOLD SHOT. PULL BACK as they move towards each other. Geralt pulls Lover into his arms and they begin to dance.

“Oh, wow.”

“I hope it’s okay! If you’re not comfortable with that kind of thing we can-”

“I’ll be alright, thank you. I came here to put my acting chops to the test. Well, that and meet my favorite band, of course. Thank you again, by the way. It’s been wonderful so far and I really appreciate you allowing me to be here.”

“Allowing? Psh. Geralt ha-” Lambert is cut off by Aiden, who elbows him sharply in the side. “Ow! What the fuck, babe?”

“I knew it!” Jaskier crows, distracted. “I knew you two were an item!”

“They’re not exactly subtle.”

“They never confirm anything either,” Jaskier retorts. Geralt shrugs his acknowledgement and moves back towards the set. Jaskier follows after the taller man like a lost puppy, eyes flicking from one thing to the next, hungry for detail even in his anxiety ridden state. This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience and he doesn’t want to waste a solitary second of it. “This is incredible, really just...wow. You guys do this all the time? You get to make tiny little movies for already great songs that you get to perform for millions of adoring fans? And you get paid!?”

Geralt hadn’t ever really thought about it like that. He’d been raised in the industry. He’d signed to Kaer Morhen Records as an early teen because his mother was a member of the Board of Directors and he’d been making music ever since; an outsider’s perspective to things was… new. A little strange. “Yeah, I guess that is pretty much what we do.”

“Wow.”

“It’s not that exciting, I promise.”

“Have you ever written a fifteen page paper about the history of lute-string design and manufacturing?” 

“No.”

“Then kindly shut the fuck up about what I should consider exciting,” Jaskier grins. Geralt is immediately and irrevocably smitten. Fuck. It hasn’t even been fifteen minutes! “So, which door am I entering from?”

“Left,” Geralt points. Jaskier skips over and begins to introduce himself to the sound and lights crew. His smile seems to be as infectious as his cheer and soon the entire set crew is smiling at one another. There’s been a literal shift in the atmosphere; if he didn’t know any better, the TW5 frontman thinks Jaskier might be some kind of magical creature, because he can’t just be human. Geralt is well and truly fucked, and everyone in the band already knows.

---

“What do you think?” Jaskier asks, slipping anxiously from behind the changing screen. The Versace is gone and in its place are a pair of tight, high-waisted blue pleather pants and a billowing white shirt, which has been strategically ripped in several places to reveal slivers of the lightly tanned skin that lies beneath. He looks like he’s in desperate need of rescuing. He looks like every fantasy Geralt has ever had about the perfect guy. He looks like a fucking dream.

“Nice,” he says.

Lambert and Aiden wolf-whistle and cheer as they approach. Aiden claps twice, loudly, and shoots Jaskier a set of finger guns, “Hot damn, baby. You single? You lookin’ to mingle? Because I am bi and spoon like a Pringle.”

“First of all, babe, I love you but that was the most horrific combination of words yet known to man. Second of all, yeah, I’d dump Aiden for you for sure,” Lambert adds. Jaskier is at a total loss for words. His mouth hangs open and his breath comes in uneven little gasps for a moment.

“Uh… I- Thank you?”

“Oh god, Eskel! Eskel, he’s short circuiting, do something.”

“You absolute-” Eskel groans and makes his way over to the gathered group. He tugs Jaskier away and over to the other end of the set, where a comically huge rocket/bomb (Jaskier can’t tell) is standing at the center of a vaguely science-themed room. A laboratory, maybe? Or like, a really weird spacecraft? A hospital run by rocket scientists? It doesn’t matter, it’s the Evil Lair of the Villain and that’s where Jaskier is being held captive. “Here, Cameron and Elise will help you get set up for the next scene. I’m sorry about the boys they’re... gay?”

“I understand,” Jaskier nods sagely and Eskel relaxes. Then for comedy’s sake he adds an equally dramatic, “I too am... gay.”

The set dresser, an electrician, and a few specialists (likely a rope rigger among them) come over and tie Jaskier to the bomb/rocket/villainous mechanism, ending his conversation with Eskel, who is now in a much better mood than he was before. 

Jaskier is told to make sure his hands are crossed behind the small of his back and the director instructs him to wiggle back and forth “as convincingly as possible without actually getting loose or moving the ropes too much”. Which is manageable, he supposes. 

“Then, when the chorus comes up, we’ll get a few shots of the boys dancing in front of you,” the director continues to explain. That’s… kind weird, but okay. I’ve seen weirder. “Then we’ll do the action shots, with Geralt rescuing you. Are you okay to do the kiss, or would you rather not? We have dynamic shots with or without, so it’s totally up to you.”

“I’m fine with that,” Jaskier smiles shyly. “I consent to be smooched.”

“Adorable,” Lambert calls. Jaskier blushes and the director shoots Lambert a glare. 

“He’s already pink enough, don’t make me change my gels you little shithead!”

“Sorry, Pierre!”

“Fucking sorry my ass,” Pierre grumbles beneath his breath. Then he smiles at Jaskier. “Do something nasty to him for me, will you? Not too nasty but… just a little?”

“I’ve got your back,” Jaskier winks. 

“No plotting! Not fair!” Aiden whines.

“You have a team,” Pierre retorts. “Now I have a team.”

“Rules are rules,” Eskel sighs. “Now can we please shoot this damn video?”

“Right,” Pierre claps, getting everyone’s attention. “Places!”

---

Geralt races up the stairs, trying to keep the long sleeves of his black mesh shirt from catching on any of the set pieces. The solid black t-shirt he’s wearing underneath makes his arms and back look bulkier than normal; it’s a visual technique to make him look larger than Jaskier, whose billowing white shirt will hide how wide his shoulders actually are. Fuck, those are some nice shoulders. And the smattering of dark chest hair that peeks from the front of the college student’s shirt? Geralt wants to bury his face in it.

Okay, focus. 

He reaches the top of the set and rushes towards Jaskier, ripping the ropes from around his torso and pulling him close. He cups the back of Jaskier’s head with his upstage hand, framing the slightly smaller man for the camera and making him seem even shorter, another trick of angles and body posturing. Geralt plays Jaskier like an instrument, bending him back by placing his downstage arm around Jaskier’s waist, pressing their mouths together and holding them still for as long as it takes the director to yell, “Cut!” with a satisfied tone of voice. 

Geralt’s suspicions are confirmed when Pierre laughs and claps some more and cries, “Print it, lads! That was a one-take wonder!”

He tries to ignore the way Jaskier’s shoulders slump as if disappointed. “Good job,” he manages to say.

“You, too.” Geralt wishes he could keep a picture of Jaskier smiling in his back pocket forever. No other sight could light up the world so effortlessly. “Thanks for being gentle.”

“I’m trying to sweep you off your feet,” the singer shrugs. Jaskier wiggles his eyebrows and follows Geralt down the narrow set stairs.

“Are you, really?”

“Is it working?” Geralt asks, turning to look up at Jaskier. The student pauses to look at him and his foot catches on an uneven board. He topples forward with a short cry of surprise and seems surprised when Geralt reaches out to catch him. “Jaskier!”

“Oh my god!” Lambert races over, Aiden hot on his heels. “Are you okay, dude?”

“I’m fine,”  Jaskier laughs, a little breathless. “Just a little shocked.”

“You should take him to get a snack or something,” Eskel says, nudging his shoulder against Geralt’s. “He’s been busy all day and hasn’t even been to craft services.”

“You haven’t eaten?” Geralt asks, honestly baffled. Jaskier shakes his head, face heating once again. He wishes he could stop blushing, but Geralt’s presence seems to make it impossible. He wraps one arm around the younger man’s temptingly slender waist and leads him towards the food carts. He shoves a couple of sandwiches and a bottle of punch into Jaskier’s hands, not giving him a chance to argue. “Here, I’ll have something, too.”

“Thanks,” Jaskier smiles, understanding that he is, in turn, being understood. They sit comfortable folding chairs off to the side, food spread across their laps. Jaskier laughs and chats around his mouthfuls, pulling things from Geralt like his favorite color and his least favorite nicknames. Songs he liked and dances he disliked. 

“You made it fun again, today,” the singer smiles. “Thank you for that. I wish you could be here for every video shoot.”

“Looking for another member of the band?” Jaskier jokes, doing some half-hearted jazz hands. Geralt shakes his head and laughs. 

“I wish we were,” he sighs. “But I guess five is the magic number.”

“Makes the dances look cooler,” Jaskier nods. “I agree with whoever made that decision. I wouldn’t dare ruin the aesthetic.”

Geralt laughs again and Vesemir turns to look, honestly shocked at the volume of the sound. 

“Plus, you can’t be the frontman if there’s no front.”

“Shut up,” Geralt chuckles, still grinning broadly. 

Vesemir makes a phone call.

---

2 Weeks Later, Backstage in Kaedwen

---

“He’s been sulking like this ever since Jaskier went back to Oxenfurt,” Lambert whines. “C’mon Vesemir, do something.”

“What do you want me to do, make Geralt’s boyfriend appear out of thin air?”

“Not my boyfriend,” Geralt growls, stomping past his bandmates and manager. He can’t help but feel grumpy. Jaskier had been like the sun, bringing light and wonder to everything he touched, and without that joy around it doesn’t seem worth the extra effort to smile. So he’s been moping. 

“Fucking hell,” Vesemir sighs. “Thank goodness I thought ahead.”

“What do you mean?” Eskel asks, joining the little group in the hallway outside the dressing room. “What did you think of?”

“Three,” Vesemir smiles, glancing at his watch. “Two… One…”

“Boooooys,” echoes a high tenor. “Where’s my welcome wagon, Vesemir?”

“Jaskier!” Aiden practically screams, leaping out of the dressing room and flying down the hall. Lambert follows at a sprint and Vesemir hears the resounding oof oh fuck of both giddy musicians hitting their mark. 

Geralt comes back down the hall at a jog, eyes searching frantically. “I thought I heard-”

“Geralt!”

Vesemir’s heart clenches in his chest at the way Geralt’s face lights up. At the end of the hallway, surrounded by spilled luggage and apologetic boyband members, is Jaskier. Geralt floats to him, it seems, like he’s dreaming the whole thing. Jaskier takes his hands and then releases them and wraps his arms low around Geralt’s hips instead. 

“I missed you the most,” he whispers, just for Geralt to hear. “Couldn’t sleep without listening to your CD. I know it’s silly but I really like you.”

“Jaskier,” Geralt whispers reverently into his shaggy brown hair. “What are you doing here?”

“I was going to do my thesis on pop culture’s relation to music history,” he says. “And then the manager of TW5 called Oxenfurt and offered me the opportunity to do some… first hand research while I worked on finishing the paper.”

“R-Really? You’re going to be here… every day?”

“Do you… do you not want me he-”

Geralt kisses him before he can even finish the question. It’s a stupid question anyway, of course Geralt wants him here. Wants him right here, kissing him silly. The singer presses his lips desperately, crushingly against Jaskier’s; he never wants to part from this man again. He never wants to be without that glorious laughter and contagious liveliness. Who knew that life could be so full of delight and happiness if he only let it? 

He kisses Jaskier for all he’s worth and more, pouring his heart and soul into it. When they pull apart, both gasping for air, Geralt asks, “Stay with me, Jaskier? You don’t have to do anything I just-”

“I’d love to be the big spoon,” Jaskier winks, whispering again. “Thank you, Geralt, for the rescue.”

[fanfictionfansmiction]

Waiting For You

This is a long one you guys! A Fred Weasley Reader Insert I hope you enjoy. As I’ve started writing I’m beginning to see a lot of them follow the same patterns so please do send in requests so I can write something a bit different :) If you want a part two I would be more than happy to oblige

Word Count: 3597

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sat down at my desk once more. Clearing away the papers and notes the never-ending week had collected. The small lamp cast a heavenly glow scattered through the leaves of my plants. Quietly I opened my draw pulling out my notebook filled with letters I would never send. Turning to the next empty page I intended to spill every last moment into. The movement of the pen ales the headache growing deep in my mind and I lose myself entirely in the act of it. Not particularly caring for the words I write. Just knowing that all day I waited keeping them safe for this moment finally letting them free. Outside of my bedroom I hear him move, speaking to someone I assume to be George or one of his other siblings. Animated and joyous. The thought brings a smile to my lips. They laugh together over something small I imagine.  

Finally finished with my letter I close the notebook placing it back in its spot. I settle myself turning off the light as I go to join my friends. George opens his arms wide offering me a hug which Angelina joins in. They tell us of their most recent trip and of how warm Greece was this time of year.

“And we have a little surprise.” George says wiggling his eyebrows gleefully. Angelina breaks into a dazzling smile showing me and Fred her left hand where a sweet diamond ring sits on her finger. Now I envelope the two of them into a hug which Fred joins us. Squeezing all of us together.

“Knew you could do it mate.” Fred says clapping his brother on the back giving George a proud look.  

“Let me see the ring Ang.” I say holding my hand to her which she eagerly abides placing her hand dramatically into mine. I see the love in her face when she gazes at George as I look at the ring.  

“Yes, Angelina we must see the ring!” Fred adds in a comical tone standing next to me taking in the engagement ring.

“It’s beautiful, you did well George.”

“Did you ever doubt me?” He adds planting a kiss on Angelina’s cheek.

“Never.” She responds.

Me and Fred send each other a look which says god this is grossly adorable. Angelina and George are in their own little bubble just staring at each other.  

“I think this calls for champagne don’t you Fred.” I say.

“Absolutely couldn’t think of a more appropriate occasion! We’ll just pop to the Muggle shop and get some.” Fred adds grabbing my hand and my bag as we make a swift exit out of the front door. The cold night doesn’t mask the strange look taking over Fred's face. I’m not sure why but he looks sad.

“Did you know he was going to propose?” I ask him.  

For a moment he doesn’t respond but he does look down at me leaving a pregnant pause between the two of us.

“I didn’t know he when he was going to do it but I had an idea it would be soon. I actually helped him pick out the ring a few months ago.” he looks away, “I can see that look on your face don’t worry I am happy for them. It’s just strange. It’s very grown up of him.” he looks back at me and continues without any probing, “It’s stupid but me and George always moved at the same pace. I feel like I’m falling behind a little. Do you ever feel like maybe there’s something wrong with us?” he asks.

“Because we aren’t engaged?”  

“Well more because we’re single, you know Ron and Hermione have moved in together. Harry and Ginny are only not engaged because they want to wait but they’re practically married. They’re all younger than us. It’s like everyone we know has found someone they want to be with. But here we are buying celebratory champagne for a happy couple.” He says turning the corner to walk down the next street.

“I don’t think that’s wrong of us Fred. If you worried about not being lovable.” I look up at him, “Then you don’t need to worry, I haven’t met someone who didn’t love you.” I’m thankful for the dark as I feel a blush grow on my cheeks.

“Are you keeping count.” He laughs leaving another pause before continuing, “You don’t have anything to worry about it either. You are extremely lovable.”  

Even though it’s cold out tonight I begin to sweat under my jumper. Thankfully we approach the shop so the conversation of love disperses into the wind.

“Now how happy would you say we are for the happy couple, £7.50 happy or £20 happy?” I ask holding up the two bottles. Fred pretends to read the labels before choosing the cheaper bottle.

“I love them both but I don’t love them enough to spend £20 on sparkling wine. Did you want some snacks while we’re here?” He asks.

“Yeah, I’ll just grab some stuff on the way to the till.”  

With an armful of appropriate snacks and drinks we wander back to the house. Opening up the bag of cheese puffs to eat on the walk.

“When was the last time you went on a date?” Fred asks out of nowhere.

“Oh, uh it was a month ago with that muggle who worked as a chef.”

“You went on a few dates with him didn’t you. He was alright. Why didn’t it go any further?” He asks tentatively.  

“Well, he just didn’t feel right. He was constantly talking about himself and just didn’t do it for me sexually to be honest.” I say popping a cheese puff into my mouth. This causes Fred to laugh so loud I’m worried we’re disturbing people who live in the houses we pass.

“Poor guy, since we’re being honest, I did hate that twat.” This time I laugh and whack his chest. “What he was always judging me and he laughed when he saw me making breakfast! Also, the way he looked at you made my skin crawl.” He adds.

“How did he look at me?” I shriek with laughter.

“Like he was always thinking about sex. By the sounds of it he was always thinking about having bad sex with you. And that moustache only made it worse.”

“What about you how long has it been for you?” I ask.

“What since I had bad sex or had a date?” he responds with a laugh, “It’s been a long time, I just haven’t found anyone I’m interested in spending time with.”

“You don’t have to tell me about the sex the ladies you bring home aren’t quiet.” I add.

“You little perv.” Fred laughs.  

When we get back into the house, we hear music playing from the living room where George and Angelina are dancing together. Holding each other close with content smiles playing on their lips mouthing the words to an old muggle song that plays on our record player. For a moment me and Fred just stand there watching them. I can’t tell you what he’s thinking but I know what’s running through my mind. The longing to be held in such a loving way. To have someone look at you like that and to look at someone like that. Looking up at Fred I see that he is now looking at me. Something tugs inside my chest. He places a hand on the small of my back and for just a second I think he’s going to ask me to dance with him, the image of that intimacy brings a blush to my face. Instead, he guides me into the kitchen where we drop the snacks on the counter. While I source our second-hand champagne flutes, last used on the opening of the joke shop, Fred pops the sparkling wine. We pour out four glasses in silence.

George and Angelina walk into the kitchen taking a glass each. George lifts his glass toward us and we do the same, then he tips it toward Angelina who intertwines her arm with his.  

“To love.” George says.

“To love.” Angelina mirrors.  

Fred and I look to each other, with a cheeky grin on his face he links his arm with mine. With his skin touching mine a strange feeling once again tugs inside me as we drink.

We finish off the two bottles of sparkling wine, with the aid of the bubbles and the alcohol I do end up dancing with Fred. He takes my hand and rests another on the small of my back which still burning from the last time his hand rested there. I was so close I could smell his apple shampoo and his aftershave. Sometime late in the night George and Angelina went back to their home but me and Fred kept dancing. My head leant against his chest with just his cotton t shirt keeping me from his skin but I still could hear his heart thud. His hands made their way up the back of my shirt so he explored my bare skin. Drawing his fingers to follow my spine. I didn’t stop him. When I looked up at him, he was once again looking at me. In a way I’d never seen him look before. My hands slid up to secure themselves around his neck and his still danced under my shirt.

We stopped dancing. Minutes passed and we just stood there. Hearts racing and bodies pressed together. Slightly breathless and definitely reddening. The last song on the record played out so we no longer had music it was just the two of us holding each other with the song of our hearts beating. Fred slowly brought his face down to mine so our noses brushed against each other. My eyes fluttered closed. Just as we were about to kiss the home phone rang. My eyes opened and the spell had broken. With the shrill ring of the phone dragging us out of the moment Fred and I looked at each other again. Not with the yearning that there was before but with confusion. I was the first to step away making it to the phone just before it rang out.  

It was someone Fred had given his number to on a night out. I passed the phone to him walking back to my room like dog with its tail between his legs. When I close the door, I press my forehead against it panting. I can hear him talk on the phone for a few minutes when he hangs up, I assume he’ll go to bed but what I didn’t expect was for him to walk up to my door and to just stand there. His shadow dancing with mine. Once again, I hear him breathing. I feel his name at the tip of my tongue and I almost let myself say it.  

Instead, he says mine.

In a breath I open my door. He is waiting for me with lips parted. I’m unsure of what he’s going to do and I think he is too. Like something completely out of his control brought him to my door.  

“How was she?” I ask.

But he doesn’t answer. He steps toward me closing the space between us again. His hands find their way to my face and he leaves them there. Searching my face for an answer to a question he has yet to ask. But I feel it. Deep inside me I hear the question and I know the answer. I place my hand on his cheek too his face hot. This time I bring my face up to his letting our noses brush together for a moment. This is all it takes for him to kiss me. Fiery with the taste of champagne still on his lips. His hands explore me in the way they had only began to do a moment ago. Mine begin to do the same to him. My hands running up his shirt to feel his chest and his heart beating beneath it. Before I know what happening we’re both shirtless and I’m perched on my dresser while he kisses every inch of bare skin.  

We both lose any control we had earlier in the night after we’ve made our way to the bed still panting and touching one another. I learn why the ladies he brings home always make so much noise and I’m so thankful I didn’t keep dating the muggle.  

After we just lay there in bed staring up at the ceiling. I turn my head to look at Fred who once more is still looking at me. As ridiculous as it sounds considering what we’ve just done I feel very aware that I’m naked next to Fred. A shyness takes over me and I have to resist sitting up and getting under the covers. Fred sensing my mood change leans over his side of the bed picking up his t-shirt that lay on the floor and gives it to me to wear. After I’ve put it on, he suggests we get under the duvet considering how cold it gets at night in this house. I don’t ask him if he wants to go back to his bed and he doesn’t offer. I lay my head on his bare chest and his hand draws circles along my back once more.

I fall into sleep easily next to Fred who’s steady breathing I eventually match.  

The morning sun lights up my room and I lie in Fred’s arms recounting the night before. Already panicked about how to talk to him now. This wasn’t some guy I was dating and I wasn’t some girl he brought back from a club. We live together.  

He shifts stretching and yawning opening his eyes. He smiles in a way that makes me want to not worry about what’ll happen because of last night. He tugs me closer into his chest and plants a kiss onto the top of my head. I melt into his touch and sigh contently.

“So that was...” I trail off already annoyed that I started the conversation.  

“Really good.” He answers.

“Yes, I have to agree with you there.”  

We just lay there together for a while both now aware of the closeness and the familiarity of it all. I don’t prompt him for more conversation about what had happened last night out of fear that he’ll dismiss it as a onetime thing. Well aware that the feeling tugging inside my chest wasn’t anything new. Knowing that a few steps away from me in my desk are letters all addressed to Fred telling all him all the things I couldn’t say. If this didn’t even mean anything to him how could I live in this house with him without breaking my heart every time I see him or think about him.

“Would you want to go on a date with me?” He asks me.

I turn my head to look up at him from his chest and he looks nervous. Biting his lip and playing with his hair with his free hand.

“Yes. Absolutely let's do that.” I answer.

Then my alarm goes off signalling I have work in an hour and a half. I sigh and peel myself away from Fred with frustrated look.

“I have to get ready.”  

“I knew it was coming don’t worry, I have some shop manager stuff to do today anyway so it’s for the best. I mean I never thought I’d be able to leave you naked in bed.” He jokes.

“You’ve thought about me naked.” I blush as I stand up from the bed wrapping myself in a dressing gown.

“Well, we’ve known each other a long time and you are the most beautiful girl I’ve met so yes. And if I hadn’t, I probably would’ve just gone to sleep last night instead of just waiting for you to open the door. And to be honest -“ He gets cut off by the house phone ringing. He groans pulling on his boxers and plodding out of the room over to the house phone.  

I follow him out in need of a cup of coffee. I mime to him to ask he wants one which he does so I go into the kitchen to boil the kettle.

“Oh Hayley, I didn’t expect you to call again.” I hear him say until the kettle drowns it out.

After the coffee is made Fred makes his way into the kitchen with a guilty look on his face. He kisses me thanking me for the drink insisting that he’ll make breakfast while I shower and get dressed for work. After I’m dressed, I make my way to the kitchen, where Fred looks proudly at the plate, he’s dished up with a glass of orange juice and a rose from the neighbour's garden complementing the chocolate sauce smiley face he’s drawn over my pancake.  

“Why that muggle ever laughed at your culinary skills I’ll never know.” I joke sliding into my seat next to Fred.

“About other people...” he starts, “So Hayley the girl from last night phoned again and she asked me if...”

“If?”

“If I wanted to go on a date with her.”

“And do you?”

Fred shakes his head, “No I don’t which I did tell her but it brings me to something I did want to talk to you about.”

“What’s that?” I ask taking a bite of my pancakes.

“I know last night, before we,” he gestures between the two of us, “which by the way was incredible, we talked about the both of us being single and I don’t want to give you the wrong impression. I didn’t sleep with you because I’m scared about being alone. I did it because it felt right. Whatever this is between us it feels right to me.”  

“It feels right to me too.” I add holding his hand in mine.

“Great, so how do you feel about a date tonight?”

“Tonight, works perfectly for me.” I say smiling at him but my second alarm goes off to let me know I have to leave for work so I kiss Fred before I go.

The work days go quickly which I’m thankful for. On the entire walk back to the house I’m smiling like a love sick teenager. When I arrive home, Fred hasn’t yet made it back from work so I draw myself a bath to relax. While I’m relaxing in the lavender scented bath, I hear Fred call to let me know he’s home. I unlock the bathroom door and shout back to him. He opens the door peaking his head in like he’s not sure if he’s allowed to look.  

“How was work?” I ask him.

“Agonising.” he answers in a strained tone.

“Why?” I laugh.

“Well, I spent all day thinking about you obviously.” he walks into the bathroom leaning down to kiss me.

“So, what’s the plan for our date tonight?” I ask.

“That’s a surprise.” He says kissing me again.  

After I’ve finished getting ready, I find myself standing outside Fred’s door feeling once again overcome with shyness. I’d spent the entire day not thinking about what it all meant between me and Fred, I was focused on how it felt last being with him and letting every desire I have for him take over. It was all instinct and I’m not particularly good on acting on it. What if he doesn’t like the dress I’m wearing. Or what if we start dating and it all ends terribly leaving me without all my friends. Or what if-

“See it’s very unnerving standing outside someone’s door isn’t it.” I hear Fred say from inside his room.

“How does it feel for you being on the other side of it?” I respond.

“Still pretty nerve wracking.” He laughs still not opening the door.

“Fred.” I say and he says my name back to me. “We aren’t making a mistake, are we?” I ask.

“Mistake?” he says swinging open the door with fear taking over his eyes, “Why would we be making a mistake.” He asks looking down at me.

“Well, if we start dating it's not the same as starting out with someone from the first date. I know you better than I know anyone. I mean we live together Fred. Where are we starting from? What are we to each other?”

He takes my hand and leads me further into his room so there’s not much space between us, “We are two people who have always cared for each other. You are one of my dearest friends and I think that’s what dating is right? That’s why I never make it onto a date because why would I when I have someone like you, someone I trust with everything. Every time I’d bring a girl home and it got to the talking, I wasn’t interested in it because I would always keep thinking of you. About something that would make you laugh.  So, it may make it all a bit more complicated because I think about you all the time as it is but I want to do this. I can’t tell you where we’re starting because I don’t know where we stand but I’m willing to figure it out if you are.”  

“Okay Freddie. We can figure it out together.”  

He breathes a sigh of relief pulling me in for a hug, squeezing me tight.  

[obeymeluv]

The Bros Visit the Human World

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ 

You bring the bros to the human world for a little get-away and they develop some interesting habits.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Lucifer

He’s the restless one that doesn’t sleep well. It takes a night or two to get comfortable and sleep normally.

Lucifer will probably be the first one up. Not only out of habit, but you’re in the human world so he’ll see the sun again

Being away from Diavolo and the responsibilities actually makes him seem like a stranger. Everyone forgets who he is outside of that because he’s so dedicated.

If you’re around a lot of nature, he’ll just casually stroll around. Almost like he’s forgotten what grass, trees, and flowers look like. He loves to spend time in the sun and just breathe the air.

Have pets? He’s partial to cats and well-behaved dogs.

Surprisingly, he’ll be the type to chase birds off of anything half-wounded or put birds back into their nests

At some point you’ll find him on the roof, wings out and sunning

Take him to livestock stores or somewhere like Tractor Supply Co. and he’ll be super tempted to smuggle a baby chick out in his pocket.

Loathes most human TV. Can’t bring himself to be interested until you bust out bible-history related documentaries. If he finds one he’ll take control of the TV, watch it all, and rip it to pieces.

Kind of develops a complex about it. “What would these humans know?! They’ve only been around for, what, forty years? Try five thousand!”

Take him by the coffee shops or smoothie shops to try decadent treats! He secretly likes them!

Mammon

Sleeps easier than Lucifer but has a tough time because the noises are different

If you have an open field or bigger back yard, his favorite thing to do is stand there and watch birds come to him. It surprises him that he can summon more than crows

Boy will definitely throw on a sunhat (or some cool glasses) and ask you what you feed birds around your place. Stands out in your yard throwing bird seed like the birds are starving and he’s got a million bags.

The type to fight squirrels and chase them out of your yard or away from feeders because “It’s not FOR you!”

If you live somewhere more laid-back he’ll feel very restless. He’s drawn to bigger, busier places.

IMMEDIATELY asks you about restaurants and things to do (”What’cha got? What’s good? Anything fun around here?”)

Gets super frustrated by shows like Storage Wars but it eerily good at appraising the value of stuff at a glance. Often guesses the real value of the objects

Show him Antique Roadshow. He’ll LOSE. HIS. SHIT.

He’ll ask to go by places like pawn shops and jewelers to just look at the different things humans trade or want to save up for. Can probably get discounts on the stuff.

Bring this guy when shopping for jewelry. He has an innate gift for appraising and can see flaws. He knows when you’re being played.

Want to be a little mean? Get those chocolate treasure chest coins and give one to Beel first. Mammon might just have a heart attack.

Definitely goes on a rant about how making chocolate money is wrong. (”Why make a currency you can’t spend?!”)

Make the visit special by getting some type of matching jewelry--earrings, rings, necklaces--and he’ll wear it around.

Take him by pet stores where they’ll let the birds out of cages, he’ll make kissy noises and love on all of them. Will definitely try to smuggle one out.

He’ll spend whole days in parks when he realizes you can park it on a bench and feed birds. Birds that don’t always get food!

Don’t show him water fountains. He doesn’t get the concept of people tossing coins in and will definitely try to take them by posing as a cleaner or something

Taking him by a museum is a 50/50 gamble. He’s genuinely interested in the displays and setup but might try to steal something   

Do you have a way to watch The Road to El Dorado? Show it to Mammon. He’ll love it.

Leviathan

Unless you live by some cute cafes, comic book stores, or video game retailers he probably won’t do much on his visit

Do you have a pool? He changed his mind. Might gripe about the chlorine messing with his skin though.

If you only have access to a community pool he refuses to do anything with it

Take him to the beach if you live near one. He’ll ALWAYS go for ocean water!

Because the Devildom is the Devildom, I bet they don’t have Ghibli movies. Maybe they have knock-offs, or they’re considered rare because they’re human world related, but have a Ghibli marathon with him! He’ll love it! It won’t be Ruri-chan levels of love, but he’ll stan and want to buy some stuff

Can you make boba tea at home or swing by a coffee shop that makes a close substitute? Take him! He’ll like it! Levi may complain about it not being authentic but he’ll secretly appreciate it

He likes savory food and junk food so take him by a dollar store and get some cheap chips and sodas. It’ll be interesting to try. Maybe he can make a Deviltube video about trying human food!

Levi also strikes me as someone who would like nachos, so maybe grab him some nachos!

Do they know about the Doritos and Mountain Dew thing in the Devildom? He might want those. (”Look, I’m like the human gamers!”)

Levi runs a little colder than his brothers (by Devildom standards) so take him around to feel on blankets and maybe get one to take back to the Devildom.

Satan

Has a great love for books (obviously) and a great disdain for Devildom bookstores that charge an arm and a leg for human finds. TAKE HIM BY BOOKSTORES AND LET HIM LIVE IN HIS NATURAL ENVIRONMENT!

The type to bring an extra suitcase just for books

Is actually quite a homebody because he has no connections in the human world (besides you), so he’s fine to sit and read his new finds.

Do you have books at home? What are your favorites? He’ll read them, too, while he’s here

Show him some kind of crime channel or crime YouTuber and he’s 100% obsessed. Binges them like Netflix

Will wave you over and demand you sit, tangling your legs together as you lean back and speculate on who the murder is and what happens since most of those TV episodes are an hour long

Loves anything psychological-based. Wants to understand why people do things and how they work. Show things like Criminal Minds and Mind Games. He’ll be SUPER interested.

Do you have cats? You’ll see Satan whispering them and holding them against his shoulder. He’s in love and might be planning to steal your cat.

Taking him by animal shelters makes him a little sad but he’ll be glad to play with all the cats at one time.

Don’t tell him that, to most humans, Lucifer and Satan are the same figure in the Bible. He just might lose his shit.

Does your town have history/mystery tours? Take him! It’s a two-in-one and he loves it! History and culture, mystery and crime!

Show Satan Cinderella. He’ll get the BIGGEST laugh out of the cat being called Lucifer.

Asmodeus

Like Mammon, will ask you about aesthetic places and things to do

In a rare moment of not hating Mammon, the two will gossip at the jewelry stores and be really critical. Mammon stops Asmo from making bad purchases

Show him around some makeup stores! He’d LOVE to see human products!

If you take him by ANY store with clothes, he will look, pick, feel, analyze, and try things on for the hell of it. It will be an all-day thing

Human fashion takes off more than he expected on the Devilgram, so he’ll buy a few things.

When he realizes makeup stores give free makeovers, he’ll use that to his advantage. Especially by charming people

Goes on a small kick of charming people to get what he wants because Lucifer only ever told him he couldn’t do it to YOU. It’s a new level of fawning and attention and he eats it up

If he sees a cute Starbucks drink on TV, he wants it.

If you show him Pinterest or Instagram, he’s glued to a device and saving things.

By the time everyone goes back to the Devildom he has a tiny notebook full of ideas and details--ways to recreate it in the Devildom

Gets several modeling offers and you (or one of the bros) has to pull him away, It’s not happening.

Unexpectedly into unboxing videos and calligraphy. Lives for pretty hand writing and is fascinated by bullet journaling even though he’s too lazy to maintain one

Show him soap operas/dramas and celebrity entertainment channels. He won’t know what to believe.

If he sees shows like Jerry Springer, Maury, Jeremy Kyle, or Judge Judy he live-streams them like ‘can you believe what crazy things happen in the human world?!’

Beelzebub

The dollar store is his heaven! ALL THIS FOOD FOR A DOLLAR?!

I personally think that human food is less calorically dense so he’ll need to eat a lot. Take him by fast food places that have cheap dollar menus or five dollar deals

If you go to a restaurant with a ‘finish in ‘x’ amount of a minutes and it’s free!’ do it. He’ll set a record

Beel learns about all you can eat buffets and gives you puppy eyes until you take him to one. At least you’ll get your money’s worth!

Don’t take him by a real grocery store. He’ll bankrupt you. Or eat all the free samples.

He’s interested in cooking shows but if he watches them you’ll have to clean up a lot of drool, give him something to eat while he’s watching, or stop him from absently grabbing the closest thing and trying to eat it

Is super into renovation shows and technical shows where people work with their hands. It’s like sports of the mind.

Not as interested in watching American football because he’ll critique it too much. Any other sport, he’ll find it interesting and want to know how it works.

Show him old Olympic footage. He’s surprised at the variety of sports and will watch the whole thing

Will also enjoy Ghibli movies. How do they make food look like that?!

This boy is a Disney princess in a demon body. If he sees any critters while he’s out and about (ANY), he’ll want to try and feed it or pet it

Bugs are drawn to him. He especially likes caterpillars and butterflies.

Beel likes to hunt for ladybugs.

Likes to “donate” to ant hills and watch them work,

Likes to watch nature documentaries about different animals

If you take him to the zoo, he’ll marvel at the different animals. Wants to wrestle a tiger and the bigger animals to see if he’ll win. It looks “fun.”

Belphegor

When he hears about mattress stores, that’s his thing. That’s what he wants you to do together. Belphie will literally lay on as many mattresses as possible and judge them

He may not have a hard time sleeping as long as he has his favorite pillow, but, for kicks, show him ASMR. Beel’s not the only one who drools!

Will definitely fall asleep outside in the sun. Any place is a good place for a nap, and to look up and see clouds is special

Spend a night outside under the human sky. It’s constellations and things he only ever gets to see in the star room

Will watch just about anything on TV. He’ll say he doesn’t have a preference but he likes those happy, soft movies that have gentle endings where everything turns out okay. Actually cries a little.

If he learns what Snorlax is from Pokemon, he’ll want one. A big Snorlax plushy to cuddle and sleep on/with!

If he hears the word “demon” uttered on TV he’s instantly hooked. What stupid thing do these humans think? THAT’S their version of a demon?!

Can you take him to see real cows? He’d really like that.

The type to make flower chains in the grass because he’s bored. Gives his first one to Beel and falls asleep before he can make another one.

Loves milkshakes unironically. Will slink out of bed and come along on any errands/brother outings if he can get one out of you.

[onlyhereforangst]

WWR

i mean i only had three weeks to get it done so naturally i’m finishing it three days before the next ep airs, would you expect anything less?

Ok we start off hot with a subtly jealous Nick scene and I love it. Ellie is like stunned that such a thing even exists “a covid crush” because lets be honest, she probably has no eyes for anyone else at this point - even if it’s been a YEAR (well 10ish months) a whole ass YEAR since the jail cell scene and can I just tell you I am mad about that. Why they do us dirty and skip a whole dang year?? Why can’t we quick flash forward every couple of months?? I mean I know it has felt like an entire year has gone by in a week, RIP 2020 no one will miss you, but like I wanted to see it 😩 and I better get at least some kind of explanation for whatever the F has gone down between these two from “well what are we gonna to about that as we stand 5 inches apart” to now. I demand this explanation. 

Anyways, back on track here - Nick is jealllllllous BUT different kind of jealous for this man because for once he’s not all dark and broody about it. He’s over here willingly, *willingly* bringing up said jealousy aaaand he’s smiling about it (!!!) because despite them still not being together (where’s the Gibbs’ headslap when you actually need it amiright) he’s not worried about this crush. He knows her feelings and his so it’s like yeah I’m a little jealous but also I’m gooood, I got this one in the bag 😏 (also can I just say I need Ellie to show him he does not in fact ‘have this in the bag’ if he’s gonna act like a little shit and push her away). 

This whole thing about babysitting and not wanting to take care of other living beings is very very very interesting considering they both loved taking care of Charlie (Cody, I blame this on pregnancy brain thank you @thekeyboardninja) in the end AND EVEN TALKED ABOUT PARENTING EVENTUALLY. So like, where did we backtrack??? Excuse me who allowed you to do such things. I’m feeling like they likely backtracked (this was s16 after all) because once again, the dust settled after their super close vulnerable moment and they went and hid behind those stupid walls they both have and somehow convinced themselves that being alone was better for them. IT’S A LIE YALL IT’S A LIE. You being together and taking care of each other is exactly what you need and it’ll be perfect and amazing and just DO IT ALREADY 😭

The team moment with Jimmy is so 🥺 and throughout the episode. I’m not going to touch on that stuff much because this is ellick focused but also because I truly do not need to sob again (even if I called Breena dying from covid like months ago and knew exactly what was coming with all of it but you know, I still cry, it’s fine, I’m fine). 

Ellie knowing Gibbs uses a weighted blanket and Nick doubting her is just comical to me 😂 mini side note before we get into how they have a thiiiiiing and it’s called always getting dibs on the elevator in tandem for months and McGee HOW CAN YOU NOT TELL. These two are so in sync even if they are still spectacularly failing at talking this out & taking that next step. Also months of Gibbs riding down the elevator with just those two…….the third wheeling must be slowly killing the old dude, give him a break you two. 

Tell me why these two have the exact same stance in the bullpen- could you be more obvious?? You rubbing off on each other. And then the walking up to the barbershop scene I caaaan’t. Ellie is SO flirty. Like so flirty. Who is this new Ellie and why do I love her so much. But Nick gives it right back too and her little giggle with shoulder shrug is just perfect. She’s fiiiiinally letting herself *feel* more and let it be out in the open and it’s just so great. I love seeing this character development for her 🥺 walls coming down, being more forward with her flirting and feelings and it’s all I’ve ever needed. Also we’re gonna take a small detour into Nick’s pants I mean the notebook he casually stashes in the front of his jeans like it doesn’t make a person look RIGHT. THERE. Don’t ask me why it’s hot, I don’t know the answers to the universe, it just is. We knoooooow Ellie is loving it’s location there, she wouldn’t mind flirtatiously taking it out at the next stop to “check” where they needed to go. You know, just helping a partner out- don’t worry Nick she’s got it handled 😏😏🔥🔥 Ok back from our detour, when Nick asks if she’s got him and she answers so quickly and almost with the undercurrent of “of course I do how is that even a question I’ll protect you until the day I die” (yes this is what she says), I love. 

Ok since when does Nick like puzzles and how does Ellie know this??? He was most certainly NOT a puzzle kind of guy when he first joined the team so are you telling me that maybe Ellie and her nerdiness (come on there’s no way she doesn’t love puzzles) got Nick into puzzles??? Also also also does everyone remember that time in covid lockdown where literally everyone and their mother did five thousand puzzles because we couldn’t leave our houses? Soooooo is this a nod to Ellie & Nick spending some time together doing puzzles (at presumably Ellie’s apartment because she’d be the one to have said puzzles) and turns out Nick loves them even more than she did???? Is this what you’re making me read in between the lines NCIS? Because I am most certainly ok with this. 

Ooooooooh-kay this 8pm thing for Nick. SO many possibilities. It’s been confirmed it wasn’t Ellie (which I won’t lie was my immediate wish) via Steven Binder on twitter (which I also won’t lie, my angst heart loves it’s something else). My take is it’s something (not another girl though) personal- I would *love* if it was therapy or some type of personal development thing. I think he realizes over the past year he has involuntarily retreated emotionally from Ellie even if outwardly it doesn’t show (no personal space and continued flirting). I think he *knows* he’s doing it emotionally and yet can’t figure out how to stop himself from doing it- like on the outside of his body watching him make a dumb mistake but unable to change a damn thing. SO I feel like whatever this 8pm thing is will play into that. It’ll somehow be related to Nick diving deeper into himself and trying to get more in touch with the parts of himself he loves to ignore/hide/push down. That could be therapy, a self-help class, getting in touch with family (but I don’t think he would feel the need to get secretive about this. i mean he already brought up Lucia to this dude, why would he all of a sudden be ashamed of a dinner/meeting with his mom or dad or something? i just don’t buy that). But anyways back to the point- it’s something Nick feels the need to hide in shame because that’s how he’s been conditioned as an undercover agent who feels the need to be tough and strong for everyone and being vulnerable is WAY too scary (helloooooo enneagram 8 nice to meet you I’m also an enneagram 8 Nick isn’t it fun). 

I don’t know why them talking so casually on the phone, while Nick is getting ready for the day no less is so damn pleasing to me. The simple domesticity of it all because it’s totally something one would do with their spouse is just 🥰🥰 And then their little freaking smiles can THEY NOT. Ellie you like glazed donuts?? Is this some kind of hint? Innuendo? Just a glaringly obvious chance to flirt and you don’t give a rat’s ass you’re in the middle of the bullpen with Gibbs’ listening to your conversation so you’ll take that chance anyways because you’re head over heels for this guy? Either way Nick’s little smirk oof. I think he takes it as all three of those things and he’s *perfectly* ok with it. UNTIL until, there’s always an until with you Nicholas god damn. Ellie nervously asking about NIck’s apartment 🥺 she may be head over heels but she’s still a little shy and unsure. She thought that jail cell moment would break things through for them and yet she’s- not to quote Taylor swift or anything because why on earth would I do that- right where you left her. WHY NICHOLAS WHY. Since we know Ellie has seen and is very familiar with the inner workings of Nick’s apartment come 16x10, I presume he moved, and it sounds like recently. From the looks of this new place it’s niiiiice. For someone who doesn’t like a lot of things (see s14 when he joins team I don’t remember the exact ep sorry) - he sure managed to settle into that apartment quite nicely. It’s furnished well, it’s homey for DC. And if he’s moved into it since after the jail cell, letting Ellie in is likely a big step in his eyes. But we know this has got to be a weird shift for Ellie. Seemingly so comfortable in each others’ spaces and now she hasn’t even been invited over?? Yeah you smell something fishy girl just like I do. Even if Nick has a cute ass smirk at the end of his little charade to hang up the phone. Wipe that smirk off your face sir you owe us I mean Ellie an explanation and a visit to your apartment. SHE WANTS TO BE YOUR HOUSEGUEST. SHE WANTS TO BE IN YOUR HOUSE. SHE WANTS TO BE IN YOUR PANTS WHILE IN THAT HOUSE. JUST LET HER ALREADY. Ok I’m done, moving on. 

Ok the guys opening the doors dramatically to let the one (1) woman on the team make a super badASS entrance is just 🔥🔥🔥 yes love it. 

Excuse me why does Ellie feel the need to completely turn her body from the rest of the team/bullpen to be 100% faced on Nick. Body language don’t lie bitch I see you. And Nick stealing a glance at Ellie before having to answer McGee’s question about roommates…..interesting, very interesting sir. You thinking about how she’s going to react to some rando being in your apartment AND staying the night before she has?? You thinking about making her a permanent roommate?? But of course he turns to quick humor for a hot sec because this is Nick and then shockingly, like actually shockingly (is this that personal development, soul-searching, deep dive into emotional wonderland rubbing off on him??? Is it working is this foreshadowing???) he goes and gets deep on ‘em. And McGee calls him on it and I love it, I really think this is some foreshadowing here. I think we’re seeing some of the work Nick is doing on himself, getting himself ready for as serious as a relationship as he knows it’ll be with Ellie, paying off. He’s thinking about ~*emotional*~ consequences to actions and OOF yes. The growth, I live for the fucking growth. “It’s not easy to get through the tough transitions on your own” you say as you literally tried to do that for actual YEARS until you met this team. Until you met Ellie. Until you realized that emotional fallout was a real thing and you my friend are a terrible victim to it. Because guess what- exhibit A is right here about to ask you to dinner and you gonna turn her down. You quite literally tried to get through a tough transition (re: Ellie’s kidnapping & the two bombs) by yourself. That dust settled and you immediately emotionally retreated, not physically- emotionally. You went back to what you always knew, the lone wolf on your own, endure the tough transition. And yes you’ve been doing some work on yourself, but now- now you realize it. You can’t do work on yourself alone. You can’t go through this shit alone. You need your support system- your person. But that thought truly terrifies you. You’ve realized it but are you ready to act on it? Not quite yet. You might be close, but you still can’t bring yourself to be honest with her yet. When Ellie nervously asks Nick if he wants to grab a bite you can feel her start to (it’s probably been there quite a while but she’s tried to ignore the feeling of him emotionally shutting her out and pushing her away but the houseguest thing brought it back full force) really worry about where they stood. She won’t completely admit it to herself because she knows what was said in the jail cell wasn’t a lie or a dramatization for either of them, but that worry that’s been creeping in like a vine is taking hold. Nick saying “there’s something I need to take care of” hmmmmm I feel like this is SO vague. And probably purposely done so by the writers but I just - if it was solely him bringing the dude back to his daughter’s why wouldn’t he just tell Ellie that? What would be the harm in her knowing this? She’s aware you’ve bonded so why would he not just say that? I feel like there was definitely something else he thought he would go do after it. With all the talk of tough transitions and then his obviously pre-made plans to drop this guy off, I just feel like there was some other task he had planned before McGee called him. And him discussing the reset button (I’ll get to this) just kind of solidifies that for me. He’d been doing a LOT of reflection that day and he had something more major planned, I just wish I knew what 😩 Ok back to Ellie’s response, she’s honestly shocked and a little confused at his ominously vague answer. And I’d wager a tiny bit of hurt is in that expression too. All those vines of worry taking hold? Yeah, that’s why. They even just tightened and made her speechless for a second. The emotional withdrawal she feared was being confirmed in front of her very eyes. Because (at least on our screens) the last time Nick turned down a bite to eat with her? Oh yeah, he was dating fucking Elena. (Once again, I don’t think he’s got another girl but y’all this is the parallel Ellie could easily draw seeing as it was only a few months ago, supposedly.) And he even looks almost guilty about turning her down, like he knows it’s probably hurting her (and their relationship) but he can’t help it. He hates that he’s doing it and the words coming from his mouth (good lord it’s like the end of 17x07 with overprotective/you’re like a sister to me all over again) but he can’t stop it. And then my heart breaks for Ellie when she tries to put on a brave, strong face that claims she isn’t bothered by his rejection yet we all knoooooow 😭😭😭 He gives her a small little “night” and she’s just standing there wondering where the hell she went wrong with this, how she read them all wrong. 

Ahhhhh the glorious reset button, ya love to see it. When he claims he has the opposite problem you can see his faraway look in his eye. You know *exactly* what, or better yet who, he’s thinking about in that moment. He knows he has to stop avoiding his emotional growth with Ellie. He knows he has to stop hitting the reset button the second things between them get real. And I think he’s known this for a while now but is finally, finally coming to grips with taking real steps forward. Taking steps to embrace the vulnerability he’s terrified of. Finally putting that reset button away 🥺

Ellie knowing Nick has one tie is just another swoon moment. Yes I could get dirty with that (see my tags on previous gifsets for proof) but like, also this is so real of them? They know so damn much about each other it’s insane. She may not have even been in his apartment yet but she knows he owns one tie. Like- come on. Nick you think you’re emotionally distant from this woman but my god it’s the opposite. You two are so intertwined you don’t even realize it as you chuckle and try once again to avoid thinking about that reset button. And then Jimmy goes and reads that letter and I sob. Yes I sobbed. Like I said not getting into this part because my pregnancy hormones can’t handle this (I’m barely rewatching this part with audio ok). But Jimmy’s words voiced over a shot of ellick…take my heart why don’t you. “To hear a laugh, and know that your life would change for ever” like come ON. First, Jimmy you slay me and second, all I can picture is Ellie chuckling with Nick in the bullpen showing him the clicker settings and Nick loving it. Nick your life would be changed forever in that moment I hope you knew. Ellie, pulling her arm around Nick’s for strength, support, I just-. Despite the turmoil she’s been going through, the doubts and the worry that’s crept in- she still feels it. She still feels love for this man and knows her life was changed forever when she met him. No matter how long she tried to deny it, she knows. And that little piece of her that desperately clings to Nick getting his head out of his ass and opening up emotionally to her, that piece decides to break that sliver of personal space and lean on him for support. She needs to touch him- the man who she can’t picture losing like Jimmy lost Breena. She needs to feel him still there, even if he hasn’t completely realized his life changed forever because of her- she has. Gripping his arm for the comfort it gives in knowing he’s still by her side, his hand brushing hers as an involuntary “I’ve got you” (even a reset button pusher like Nick can’t help his reflexes). The gravity of the fragility of life weighing heavily on them both, they hold each other. They’ve got each other. And good god is that poetry we just need them to actually fucking TALK ABOUT IT 😩😭

I don’t know if I even have side notes but I do appreciate NCIS paying homage to the utter grief this pandemic has been. Jimmy being the one to lose a loved one was quite honestly the perfect scenario to me. It shows just how cruel this pandemic has been, ripping even the most optimistic, happy people down to their knees in grief. It’s something that shouldn’t be glossed over and I do hope they continue to have this arc of struggling with grief throughout the season. I think it is so relatable and refreshing to see played out legitimately on the screen. I don’t want happy, go-lucky stale content. I want something real and something tangible. Yes I love my mindless entertainment, but it’s also nice to see *real* drama on a TV drama. At least, that’s my opinion 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’d apologize but isn’t that why you’re reading this to begin with? 😘😘

[birdsandspades]

Memories (A Todoroki Shoto Oneshot)

- What do you get when you mix a pressed daisy, a broken ceramic, a comic, and a soba receipt? A bunch of chaotic dates with Todoroki, and maybe a few memories along the way too!

-Word count- 11K

- Hi, this one is kinda long. But it took awhile to write and Todoroki makes me all giggly so I figured I would share this cute idea with you folks! It’s mostly chaotic Todoroki fluff! Let me know what you think, and thank you for reading!

—-

After three years of training, interning, and studying it was finally your last day at UA. The dorm was a buzz as everyone packed up their rooms for the last time, today was the day they graduated.

Sadly for you it was not in the conventional sense. Sure you were finished with UA, your time here on exchange had been to grow your power. But you were still an American citizen with one more year of schooling and licensing left. It had been gracious that they let you stay for an extra two years with the people you had grown to love and admire. But it was time to pack up and go home.

A soft knock sounded on your door, “I brought you more boxes, are you doing ok?” Todoroki pushed the door open with his foot, a pile of condensed boxes and tape in hand as he walked into your room. 

“Oh thank you, I was kinda wondering if I had enough.” You looked between him and the dwindling pile laying on your bed, he took it as a sign to set his pile beside it. “Are you finished already?” You brushed your hand over his own, a sweet gesture he was all too familiar with.

“I haven’t started, my father just brought me more boxes and I figured I would see if you needed more.” Todoroki looped a finger with your own, swinging your arm slightly as he pulled you closer. “Do you want me to stay and help you pack?”

“No, that’s ok. You should get started before your father tries to come help you.” You giggled as he tensed at the mention of the man still waiting in his bedroom. You reached up to cup his face, drawing him down just enough to place a soft kiss on his lips.

Todoroki smiled sweetly, staring at you for a moment before standing back up. “ Then i’ll hurry so I can help you. Then we can figure out what you want to do tonight.” He squeezed your hand once more before turning to leave. His heart heavy as he walked back to his room. 

You turned back to the disheveled state of your bedroom, reaching for another box with a long sigh. You knew you had to pack eventually, but part of you knew that as you packed up your belongings you were also packing up all the memories you had shared with Todoroki in this very room. The belongings that lined your shelves, hung on your walls, sat on your desk, they were all mementos of the years you had experienced together.

You set the box down at the base of your desk, sitting down in the chair. “I might as well start with all of this.” You sighed, fingering through the stacks of assignments and notebooks. A shiny red book peeking out from in between a few course books caught your attention. You pulled it out looking over the cover of the comic. “This is Shoto’s Spiderguy comic, how long has this been in here?” You brushed your fingers over the smooth cover, a blush creeping up the back of your neck. They had always been his favorite comics, the stack he had accumulated over the years was close to monumental. You smiled as a memory bubbled up from the back of your mind as you flipped through the colorful pictures on the pages.

—-

You had been looking everywhere for your math book that morning, the panic of having to buy a new one sending you spiraling. “Maybe I left it in Todoroki’s room, we were studying pretty late. I’m sure I just forgot it.” You grabbed your keys off the desk chair before making your way to the dorm elevators. You had a nice room on the second floor of the dorm building, the perfect distance for sneaking late night snacks from the kitchen below. But Todoroki had been lucky enough to get a top floor room, the view from his balcony breathtaking as it looked over the nearby park. 

You pushed the button for the 5th floor once you entered the elevator, trying to think of the last time you had the book in your possession. “ I went to Shoto’s room to study around 7:00 p.m, we called for food around 9:00 p.m. I closed my book at 9:30 when it came, and I….slid it under the table to eat. It’s under his table…” You wanted to smack yourself as the elevator opened, why didn’t you just check his room in the first place.

You knocked on his door, shifting nervously on your feet. You and Todoroki had been together for a little over three months now, but no matter how many times you came to his room alone the nerves never quit. 

“Come in”, his voice was soft from the other side.

You turned the knob of the door, opening it as you made your way inside. “Hey Shoto, I think I left my math book here last night. Can I get it…” Your mind trailed off as your eyes met with your upside down boyfriend, his feet glued to the ceiling with a sheet of ice. 

“I found it when I woke up. I set it on the desk.” He motioned towards the desk with his head, turning the page of his comic as he continued reading. 

“Ok, um Shoto what are you doing?” You questioned as you made your way around him towards the desk. You slid the book off the desk carefully, still staring at your upside down boyfriend.

“Reading.” He looked away from the comic, wiggling it slightly before turning his attention back to his favorite american hero. “It’s the new Spiderguy comic, you can borrow it once i’m done reading it if you would like.” He looked up at you over the edge of the comic, a soft smile pulling at his lips.

You were more shocked at how unfazed he was by what he was doing, and less the fact he was hanging upside down from the ceiling. “Oh, ok…thanks Shoto.” You figured it was best to leave your boyfriend to his own devices at this point, two was starting to feel like a crowd. You slipped past your boyfriend again, careful not to bump him as you made way for the door. 

“Wait F/N, can you stay and help me with something?” His brows were knitted together as he analyzed the page in front of him.

“Of course.” You were sure he needed help getting down, the ceiling he was dangling from a good way from the floor. You made your way over to your hanging boyfriend, standing in front of him as your face met his.

He turned the comic around, handing it over with a confused look. “I don’t get why they did this. Wouldn’t it be easier to just kiss normally?” 

You looked at the cluster of panels on the page, the rainy scene playing out as the protagonist hung off the railings, his love interest pressed against him in a romantic interaction. “I don’t know, Spiderguy said some of it was fake. I’m sure they didn’t have a romantic first kiss so the writer made something up.” You handed back the comic to your boyfriend, his eyes vacant.

He sat there for a moment, working out the scenario on the book. The gear grinding in his head as he struggled to understand why anyone would want to kiss someone upside down. “The lips wouldn’t line up correctly, the ratios would be off.” He mumbled to himself, trying to put himself in the mindset of the webbed superhero.

Your boyfriend often got confused by loving gestures, that was one thing you noticed early on in the relationship. He had never been on the receiving end of it as a child, and he had never been on the giving end of it as a young adult. 

You watched as the gears in his head grinded to a halt, his ah ha moment was upon him. “Would you be willing to try it? I think i’ll understand it better if I experience it.” He pointed to the panel in question, looking at you hopefully. 

You could feel the warmth spreading across your cheeks at the mention of sharing a kiss with Todoroki, your first kiss. You opened your mouth to protest, frantically waving your hands in front of you. 

Todoroki reached a hand up, sliding a finger under your jaw. His other hand on your hip, grasping at your shirt as he pulled you closer to him. He didn’t speak, instead he tilted his head to meet your flustered eyes. He couldn’t help but laugh as you looked around the room trying to find a way out of the situation. His mind was set, he was going to kiss you. 

You were frazzled trying to put together a sentence to explain that it was in fact your first kiss and you were unsure how any of it worked let alone a comic book rendition of it. You managed to get out a surprised noise as his thumb and finger gripped your chin, pulling you a mer inch away from his own face. 

He brushed his lips over yours, watching for your reaction. Once you relaxed into his touch he leaned up, his lips meeting yours for the first time. The kiss was delicate, his hands gripping the fabric on your waist to keep himself center. Your fingers tangled in his dangling locks, cradling his head as you lifted him up to deepen the kiss. 

You pulled away after a moment, unable to meet each other’s gaze as the bufferlies set into your stomach. “D-did that help?” You stuttered out, backing away from the equally flustered boy. 

“Yeah, I think i’m starting to understand why they did it…” Todoroki was trying to pull his hair over his eyes in an attempt to hide his growing blush, gravity pulling small pieces back to it’s upright position. 

You picked up your math book off the floor before giving your boyfriend an awkward wave. You rushed out of his room and down the emergency stair well in an attempt to get away from the thoughts flooding your mind. Once you made it back to your room you shut the door, throwing yourself on your bed.. You clutched your chest, a bubbly giggle escaping as you let the feelings take over.

 A permanent smile plastered your face that night, a faint blush creeping back up your neck every time you thought of the multi-toned boy somewhere above you. You wondered if he had felt the same way as you did. If he had the same feeling bouncing around his nervous stomach when he thought about doing it again. 

“I wonder if he ever got down, maybe I should go check on him…”, you sat up on your bed, swinging your legs over the edge. A few floors up a loud crash reverberated through the walls. You had gotten your answer.  

—-

The box sat on your chair was soon filled up, all your important documents placed neatly inside leaving the top of the desk empty. You sat the comic back on the table, making a mental note to give it back to your boyfriend before you left the following day. 

You reached for another box, setting it beside your bookshelves. They had filled up over the years, each one stuffed with training books, niknaks, and the occasional complete collection of romance manga. It was going to take a good number of boxes to safely transport all the items that littered the shelves. You sat down on the floor, pulled the empty box closer. You had to start somewhere and the bottom shelf seemed as good a place as any. You made short work of the first two sections, most of the books finding themselves packed and ready to be shipped. 

The third level of your shelve was mostly dedicated to the most delicate, breakable items you had. It seemed the safest place in the room, especially with Bakugou living next door. His temper tantrums had shaken a number of things off the walls over the years. 

You carefully picked out each item, wrapping it in newspaper before placing it inside the box. You reached towards the back of the shelve, finger grazing over a rough object hidden in the far recesses of the back corner. After a few attempts you finally got a good grip on it, dragging it to the front of the case before picking it up. “Huh, that’s where you’ve been.”

You turned the ceramic sandcastle over in your hands, the layer of dust rubbing off as you felt over the details. The top part of the highest tower had been broken off long ago, a pleasant reminder of the day you shared with Todoroki.

—-

You were walking hand in hand with your boyfriend along the beach, the festivities on the horizon as you approach the summer festival. It was you and Todoroki’s six month anniversary, a day you wouldn’t normally fuss over. But to him it was special. You had chosen to spend half a year with him, and he wanted to thank you.

“Where do you want to go first?” You looked over the day’s itinerary as he leaned over your shoulder. 

He had wanted to come early to experience everything the day had to offer. An entire day, completely uninterrupted and he got to spend it with you. “Are you hungry? We could go to the cooking competition first if you want to.” He ran a finger over the itinerary, highlighting the event. 

You nodded in agreement, folding the paper and placing it in your back pocket. “That sounds like fun.” You reached for his right hand, lacing your fingers with his as you walked with him towards the event. Your shoulder rubbed against his own, the chill of his skin seeping through his shirt onto your exposed arm. 

“Hey, look, it’s five weenies!” 

Todoroki turned his head at the sound, his eyes glued on a group of grade schoolers running towards the two of you. “ Hello again, are you all here for a school trip?” Todoroki leaned down, meeting the kids eye level as they stopped in front of you. 

“Yeah, we came for the sand building competition!” The kids chatted with Todoroki, telling him about the castle they had built for the day’s biggest event. “Will you come see it with…your girlfriend?” One of the children’s eyes bore into his hand, still holding on your own. He shifted his gaze up to you, giving you a small smile.

You returned it, waving at the group of students before you. 

“Of course.” Todoroki stood back up, smiling as the kids turned to run back off towards the rest of their class.

“Five weenies?” You questioned, giggling at the nickname your boyfriend had managed to get.

“I’ve told them my name is Shoto multiple times, I’ve just given up on them calling me anything else.” He sighed in defeat, the only kids he’s met so far that liked him and they can’t even get his name right. 

“Oh wow, look at all the people here!” You pointed towards the rows of vendors, shaking his shoulder. “It smells so good.” You inhaled, sighing as the aromas wafted your way. 

Todoroki nodded you on, smiling as you drug him towards the first vendor that caught your eye. It was no surprise your first stop was the nearest Taiyaki vendor, you lived for the sweet treat, some nights even begged him to walk you down to the convenient store off campus just to get one. 

You bounced up and down, excitedly looking over the menu as the line moved forward. Once it was your turn you were already fishing your money out of your purse, “One chocolate taiyaki please, and… Shoto, do you want anything?” You looked behind you where your boyfriend should have been, your eyes meeting with a strange pair. Your boyfriend was nowhere to be found, suddenly lost in the crowd of people. “Um that’s all…” You traded the man for your food, handing him the money owed before leaving to find your missing partner. 

You were walking up and down the stales, frantically searching for Todoroki when your eyes fixed on a mismatched pair. You pushed your way towards your boyfriend, cradling your taiyaki as you bumped shoulders with those around you. “Shoto!” You waved your free hand in the air, drawing his attention your way. “I thought I lost you…” You looked between him and the street vendor, offering them a soft smile. 

“I saw someone’s grill go out, so I offered to light it for them. A few others saw and asked for my help too.” Todoroki looked behind you, nodding at someone across the sea of people. “I think they need help too.” Todoroki offered the man he had previously helped a swift nodded before taking your hand. He pulled you along, guiding you over to the next vendor.

This continued for a while, everytime the wind picked up someone else would need your boyfriend’s help. He never refused, happy to lend a hand to anyone that required it. You followed close behind him, offering him bites of your taiyaki as he made his way around the rows of vendors. Soon enough he had made his way through most of the stalls, everyone happily chattering about the two-toned kid that had saved their cooking. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sure that wasn’t how you wanted to spend the last two hours.” Todoroki and you were now standing just outside the still bustling cooking competition, his mood souring. He had ment today to be for you two, but instead he had spent the majority of it with others. 

“I’m with you, there isn’t any other way I would spend the day.” You gave him a cheesy smile, pressing a quick kiss to his warm cheek. 

He had always tried his hardest to make everything perfect when you two were together. He never had a perfect image of what a healthy relationship looked like between two people, because of that he always over compensated whenever you and him were together. Any little inconvenience would dampen his mood, especially when it came to dates. He wanted everything to be perfect for the person he cared about most, and he would stop at nothing to accomplish that.

Todoroki looked around for a moment, eyes widening once he found what he was looking for. “Stay here please, i’ll be right back.” He pushed down on your shoulders, sitting you down on the bench behind you before running off back into the crowd of people. 

“He probably saw someone else who needed help.” You chuckled, shaking your head. You loved the fact that your boyfriend never hesitated to help those in need. You had told him the day he asked you out that you wanted his hero work to be number one, even if it meant putting you on the back burner. He had been confused at first by the request, all his relationship advice had come from the media and this was definitely not something the girls usually did. But over time he had come to realise that it was your way of telling him that you would be with him no matter what, so he didn’t have to put all his energy into making it work. He really appreciated it, even if he couldn’t help but try to make your time together perfect.

After a moment Todoroki emerged from the crowd again, two popsicles in hand as he made his way back to you. “I got you coconut. But if you don’t like it you can have mine, it’s cherry.” He offered both of the frozen treats to you, letting you pick whatever flavor peaked your interest.

You took the coconut flavored pop from him, looking over his soft features as he took a bite off the top of his own. He had always bit into his popsicles, the habit sending a shiver down your spine every time you saw it. But he was cute, and that was enough for you not to question him. 

He offered you his left arm, letting you loop your own through as he led you down to the beach. “We should go see the sand castles before the competition starts, it will be less crowded.” He had already finished his popsicle as you arrived at the first of the sand structures, throwing away the stick in a nearby trashcan as you passed by.

You walked with him, pointing out what ones you liked the best. The sun hot as it beat down on the two of you. You had been under it all day with little to no cover, the red tint starting to show on both of your exposed skins. 

“Oh, Shoto. I think you’re getting burnt already. I should have bought sunscreen…” You let go of his arm, digging in your bag for something to help stop any further damage. 

“F/N, your popsicles melting.” Todoroki pointed to the half eaten treat as a drip traveled down the base of the stick.

“Oh, I’ll finish it really quick.” You leaned in to lick the melting treat, stopping as Todoroki wrapped his right hand around the entirety of it, refreezing it. You looked between the icy pop and his hand, your eyes widening in shock. “Shoto…”

“Now you can take your time with it.” He gave you a sweet smile, taking your hand in his as he guided you to the next castle. He was completely oblivious to you staring down in slight disgust at your popsicle, thinking back to all the things you could recall your boyfriend touching throughout the day. 

Before long the sun was setting, the evening fast approaching as the festival wrapped up. “We should head back to the dorm before curfew Shoto.” You tugged on his sleeve, pulling his attention from the horizon. 

He nodded in agreement, turning around. “I bought something for you earlier.” He fished around his jacket pocket, pulling out a small ceramic sandcastle. “ I wanted to say thank you for being my girlfriend. You mean alot to me and I’m happy we’ve gotten to spend six months together.” He turned the gift over in his hands, smiling before handing it to you. 

“I’m happy too Shoto, I couldn’t have asked for a better boyfriend. I love you.” You reached for the gift, unaware of the words you had just told your boyfriend for the first time. 

His grip on the ceramic loosened as his eyes widened. He fumbled with it as it slipped between his fingers. You both watched in horror as it collided with the concrete, the tip of the tallest town breaking off. He leaned down, gingerly pickup up the broken castle. “F/N, i’m sorry. I’ll go get another one, I’m sure they are still open.” Todoroki turned to leave, cradling the sand castle.

“No, I want that one.” You reached a hand out, stopping him. You took the gift from him, clutching it to your chest. “ I don’t want a new one, I like this one.” Crimson painted it’s way across the bridge of your nose as you looked at the still shocked man in front of you. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that…I understand if it’s too soon.” Your heart clenched as the regret set in. 

“I love you too.” Todoroki took a deep breath, grabbing your shoulders. “I love you too, I’ve wanted to say it for a while but I never knew when the right time was.” He pulled you into his chest, holding you and the broken sandcastle. The contact ended too soon as he pulled away, looking over you with concern. “I can go get you a new present, I have my dad’s card so you can pick anything you want.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head. “No, I like my sand castle.”

He shrugged, wrapping an arm around your waist. If you were happy, he was too. 

—-

 You wrapped the sand castle in a layer of newspaper, wedging it between a few shirts for an added layer of safety. It had made it three years surviving in your dorm room, you would be damned if it didn’t make it to America in one piece.

Your phone buzzing suddenly in your jacket pocket, the soft vibrations pulling you away from the now nearly empty book shelves. You pulled the phone out of your pocket, Todoroki’s name flashing across the screen.

“What’s up?” You giggled into the phone. Your boyfriend hardly called, always preferring to just walk the distance down the hallway to your room if he needed to see you. 

“If this overgrown campfire doesn’t leave my room in the next five seconds I will take this whole building with me.” Todoroki whispered harshly into the phone, clearly reaching his limit of Endeavor interactions for the day.

“Is family time not going so well Sho?” You laughed, phone resting between your cheek and shoulder as you packed away the last of your books. Todoroki was to most a very calm and collected person, many of his classmates and colleagues praised him for his cool head and leveled nature. You had believed the rouse at first, but slowly he relaxed around you, letting his true nature show. 

It started with small slip ups, moments that you hardly caught. But soon enough the soft spoken, calm man you had met in the courtyard of the school had disappeared. Left in it’s wake was a scatterbrained, snarky, chaotic mess of a human that you loved with every fiber of your being. You liked that most people didn’t know about this side of Todoroki, it made the moments you shared together all the funnier. 

“Oh, I think it’s going well. He’s only asked me about when I plan on having children of my own SEVEN TIMES. If I paid a share of rent could I come to America with you?”He was half serious, the slight pain in his heart proved that. Sure he was desperate to get out of this small room with his father, but he also wasn’t ready to see you leave.

“Did you finish packing yet?” You questioned, knowing full well what the answer was.

“No, I have not.” He huffed in reply.

“Finish packing and we can talk.” You laughed at the disgruntled noises coming from the other end of your phone before hanging up.

You set the phone down on the desk, sitting up to resume packing. You looked around the room, deciding what to tear apart next. The pictures that hung around your walls seemed as good a place as any. You walked over to the cluster above your bed, eyes avoiding the mess of a closet you would soon have to deal with.

You started by carefully pulling them off the wall, setting them each on your unmade bed as you made your way around the room. Most were pictures of your friends and family, a few some silly All Might posters you had framed after forcing him to sign them on the first day of school. 

You pulled down the last frame, the pressed daisy looking just as vibrant as the day you had gotten it. It had once belonged to a bouquet years ago, but it had outlasted the rest of it’s flowery friends. Even after a month it was standing tall and beautiful in the vase. You had decided to press it that day, a reward for it’s perseverance. It was a reminder of the one and only bouquet of flowers Todoroki had successfully gotten to you in one piece, a fond memory of the first few months you had interned for your first pro hero. 

—-

You were finishing up a long patrol with Fatgum, the day coming to a close as the sun started to set behind the tall buildings. The agency building came into view as you walked up the street beside Fatgum, the tension in your back finally dissipating at the thought of getting out of your hero uniform.

You waved a goodbye to your mentor, thanking him for a wonderful day before walking into the locker room. It was silent, everyone else had gone home hours ago. You pulled open your locker, taking out your phone. It had unplugged during the night leaving you with a whopping 20% to use for the day. Instead of risking it you left it at the agency to charge for the day. Anyone who could have possibly needed you had Fatgum’s personal number, there was really no reason to worry.

You opened the now fully charged phone, eyes widening. You had almost thirty missed calls from Todoroki in the last four hours. You quickly dialed your boyfriend, shifting nervously as you waited for the line to pick up. Nothing, the line went straight to voicemail, you would try again. After almost a dozen attempts you let out a shaky sigh. He had never called you this much, what if something happened? 

You threw on your civilian clothes, shirt clearly backwards as you ran out of the locker room and down the emergency stairs, phone in hand. The receptionist caught you on the way out the door, waving you down to stop.

“Oh, H/N I have a message for you. Someone called with an address, their phone cut out before I could get their name.” She gave you a soft smile, handing you the note.

You shakily took it from her, looking over the address. “What did they sound like, was it Todoroki by chance?”

She shrugged, giving you a confused look. “Maybe, the phone was kind of distorted so it was hard to make out what they were saying. But I think the address is for the park down the street, maybe whoever called is still there?” She offered you a warm smile, sitting back down in her office chair.

You thanked her, waving a goodbye as you ran out the front door of the building and down the street. Todoroki had never been the type to call unless it was urgent. Of course the day you leave your phone at the office he calls 28 times with no voicemail. You couldn’t help but think of the worst, the anxiety building as you rounded the street.

As if on cue you felt the first raindrop, the sky opening up before you. The forecast had called for light showers, but this was anything but. You could finally see the west opening of the park coming into view, groups of people running for cover as the rain beat down.

You started scanning the people walking by, looking for familiar tufts of peppermint hair. As the crowds opened up you caught sight of vibrant red. There he was, sitting on a bench a ways down the park trail, his coat resting on his lap. 

“Shoto!” You yelled, running towards him. “Shoto!” You tried again to gain his attention, his gaze set on his shoes. “Shoto!” You tried once more, his eyes finally landing on you as you pushed through a group trying to escape the rain.

“Are you ok?” You leaned over, resting your hands on your knees as you attempted to catch what breath you had left. Peeking up from between your wet bangs you caught sight of his soft smile as he unwrapped something from his coat.

“Happy one year anniversary F/N.” He pulled out from under his coat a small bouquet of daisies and baby’s breath, untouched by the rain. 

You stood up, looking over the soaked man in disbelief. “So you’re ok? Nothing happened?”

“Why wouldn’t I be ok?” His brows knitted together in confusion, “Do you not like the flowers?” 

You let out a small laugh, covering your mouth to mask the rest bubbling up. “Shoto, you called me twenty seven times, I was scared something happened to you.” You wrapped your arms around the man, pulling him into your embrace. 

“I called you twenty seven times?” He pulled his phone out of his back pocket, clicking the power button a few times.“ That’s probably why my phone died so fast.” He pulled away from you, chuckling lightly. “I called you to see when you would be off work, I must have redialed you when I sat down… alot. When I saw my phone was dying I tried to call your office, but I cut out before I could tell her my name. I’m sorry I worried you.”

That sounded like your ditzy boyfriend, not even knowing he had given you a panic attack.

He lifted the flowers again, tilting them towards you. Water dropped off the white petals, dripping onto his hands. 

“These are beautiful Shoto, did you keep them dry with your coat?” You looked over your boyfriend, completely soaked with his coat in his hand. 

“I tried too.” He huffed, looking up to glare at the clouds. “I just wanted to finally get a single flower to you in one piece.” He reached out, running a finger over a dampened petal.

This had been his fifth attempt at getting you a bouquet of flowers, each previous attempt ending in disaster. The first time had been a simple mistake, the delicate flowers dying in the heat of his locker before he could get them to you after school. The next two had been destroyed on the way to you, falling apart in his hands when you opened your bedroom door. The fourth had been crushed by Midoriya on the bus seat, a perfect imprint of his butt set into the wrapping. And the fifth, those were eaten by Koda’s misplaced pet rabbit before they even made it out of Todoroki’s room. It was his mission to get these to you in one piece and he was ready to kill anyone or anything that threatened that.

“Thank you, this is the best gift you could have given me.” You lifted the bouquet up, the fragrant flowers tickling your nose. “Happy anniversary Sho.”

He smiled, taking your hand in his. “Since your off work now are you hungry?”

You nodded, walking with him down the park path. “Let me buy you soba for being so sweet.” You smiled to yourself, shaking your head.  Your anniversary was in fact tomorrow, but he didn’t need to know that. 

“The lady who sold those to me told me to put them in sugar water when we get back to the dorm. She said they should last longer if we do. She also told me…” Todoroki repeated the instructions given to him by the florist as he walked with you to the soba shop, happy to have finally gotten a complete bouquet of flowers safely into your hands. 

—-

You closed the top of the box, taping it shut. Your room was close to finished, most of the items already packed and ready to move to the truck waiting downstairs. You had managed to put off your closet the entire time, hoping that it would manage to pack itself. But that wasn’t the case as you looked at the disheveled mess of shirts poking out of the semi organized mass. 

You pushed a few more boxes over to the mess, saying a few prayers for whatever was inside. 

It wouldn’t take you long to fold everything and stuff it in a box, if you had listened to Shoto months ago and sorted out what you really didn’t want or need. But that took time and effort, two things you really didn’t want to waste on a closet. You had instead wasted it away on other more important matters, like video games with Denki, and shopping with Uraraka. 

You started by pulling out all the clothing, laying it out on your bed as you slowly cleared out the multicolored mess. Each bundle uncovering secrets you had forgotten yourself. Why did you have so many blank tank tops? Where did you get this Shiketsu High jacket, and why did you have three of them? When did you steal Kirishima’s UA gym shirt (his name written messily along the inside collar), did he have yours you had been missing for most of the year? And most importantly why did you have the entirety of Shoto’s hoodie collection hidden amongst your own?

You knew the answer to the last question at least, those hoodies had been given to you by your perfectly temperature regulated boyfriend every time he saw you without a jacket of your own. He insisted that it was because you were always getting sick, and to his defence the dorm common room was always freezing. But you knew he just liked seeing you in his oversized clothes. He tried to hide, oh boy did he try to hide it.  But you could see the possessive gleam in his eye when you walked out in his far too large hoodies. It was like a big sigh on display to everyone around, “Todoroki’s girlfriend”, but he wouldn’t ever tell you that. 

You fingered through the vast majority of the borrowed clothing articles, pulling everything of his aside to take to him later. Your finger stopped on the plush black fabric of one, pulling it out to look at the cracked design on the front, paint faded and worn. You had brought it back from the states one holiday. His favorite manga had a limited run set of merchandise released in the states, and it was just your luck that you had gotten the last of the hoodies he had shown you months before when you saw it in the store window. 

“I should probably give this back to him soon, I bet he hasn’t even noticed it’s missing.” You chuckled to yourself, fully pulling it out of the pile. A small piece of white paper caught your eye, the corner sticking out of the connected pocket. You pulled it out, unfolding it. It was a receipt from your favorite soba shop dating back to last weekend. You thumbed over the printed words on the front, it was your last study date together before finals. Todoroki had insisted on buying that night, demanding it really as he hid your bag. 

—-

“You bought last time Y/N, that means it’s my turn to pay.” Todoroki shook his head at you, watching you shimmy out from under your bed.

“No Shoto, you bought last time, it’s my turn. Where is my bag, you’re not paying.” You glared his way, pushing him over to check under him.

“You won’t find it, i’m going to pay and you’re going to eat what I pay for.” He was stern, rolling back over to his original seated position. 

“Fine, but we’re doing dutch from now on! You’ve abused your boyfriend privileges!” You pouted in defeat, folding your arms over your chest. You sat down next to him on the bed, pushing your shoulder into his as you attempted to scoot him over. 

Todoroki looked at you curiously, he was already confused by the use of the word dutch, but now you were aggressively rubbing against him. Did you want him to move? He leaned back on his hands, watching as your shoulder slipped off his own. 

With your leverage gone you had nowhere to go but over, into the lap of your amused boyfriend. You looked up, the confused look shifting into a smile as his eyes met yours.

“Would you like Soba?” He chirped, hand resting on your head. He was completely oblivious to you melting at his touch, unable to stay mad at the sweet boy before you. 

“Do you want soba?” you asked, it was a dumb question honstley. He ALWAYS wanted soba, it was to him a major food group at this point.

He took that as a yes, phone already in hand as he typed in the order for the food delivery. “Would you like what you always get?” He peaked down at you long enough to see your nod before turning back to his screen. He had the order for all of your favorite restaurants memeriesed, everything from how you liked it cooked to what things you always took off. He felt it was just another way to show you how much he loved you, the ability to bring you home your favorite foods when you had a rough day being something he prided himself on. 

You shifted in his lap, getting comfortable as Todoroki’s fingers tangled with your hair. His other hand finishing the order before setting his phone down on the bed. “So, what subject do you want to work on first?”

You groaned, burying your face in his lower abdomen. Todoroki’s light chuckles softly bounced your head around in his lap, his hand running down your back. “Y/N, we need to study, or do you want to fail?” He teased, earning another groan. 

“Fine, we can start with math!” You moaned into his shirt, ready to just be done with your course work. It was your last weekend in the dorms with Todoroki, and even though you wanted to spend this time in other ways, you knew this had to be done first. 

You worked for a bit, Todorki leaning over your shoulder as he worked through your more difficult problems before turning back to his own. He had gotten attached to studying with you, almost yearning for it when you were away. He loved sitting at your small table, arms pressed against each other as you both fought for surface space to do your work. He had burned into his memory the feeling of your hand grazing his as you flipped the pages of your textbook. The way you would toy with the corner of your homework, folding it over and over when you got stuck on something. Even just the light glint in your eye when you got sleepy.

He liked the fact that he could lean over your shoulder, resting his head on your own as he guided you though the problem in the privacy of your own rooms. His fingers softly danced over the exposed skin of your legs as he calculated the numbers in his head, the pads of his fingers tracing each one out as he worked. 

“Sho, are you ok?” you questioned, looking over your spacy boyfriend.

“Mmm, yeah. Just thinking about something.” He smiled, he reached for your hand. Stopping as his phone began to vibrate on the table.

You picked up the device, turning it over to see the incoming message. “Oh, the delivery driver is here. It says he’s at the front door of the building.” You watched as Todorki pushed out his chair, standing up to pull his wallet from his back pocket. “Want me to go get it?” you asked, pushing your own chair out to follow him.

“No, keep working on your papers. I’ll be fast.” He smiled, sliding the door open to the balcony. 

“Let me come downstairs with you. You’re going to need someone to buzz you back in…” You watched in horror as your boyfriend swung a leg over the balcony ledge, sitting down on the side of the brick before dropping off of it. “Shoto?” You screamed, running to look over the edge. You watched as he landed, standing back up casually to walk over to the equally shocked man holding your food. “Shoto what are you doing?” You shout down to the dumbfounded boy. 

“I’m paying for the food.” he wiggled his wallet at you, the black square barely visible from your second story balcony. He pulled out a large bill, handing it to the awestruck man before taking the bags from his hands. 

The man dug around in his change bag, handing back the remaining money wrapped in the recipe for the order. His hands shook as he dropped it into Todoroki’s free hand.

“Thank you, have a good night.” He beamed, pushing the receipt bundle into his hoodie pocket before walking back up the steps to the dormitory doors. 

The delivery man gave Todoroki a small nod, backing up a bit before looking up at you. He offered you a small wave, watching as you returned it before sprinting back to the front gates. 

Todoroki pulled on the door handle with his free hand, the door firmly locked as he jiggled it a few times. He sighed, walking back down a few steps until he could see your face from the balcony. “Y/N, would you please open the door? I think it’s locked.” 

Your eyes widened as your boyfriend disappeared again up the stairs, your head turning in disbelief. You were too confused to utter words, the definition of everything seemed to slip away as you tried to compile enough reason to justify what you had just witnessed. You walked over to your door, turning the handle slightly. “God I hope he doesn’t do this from his room…”

—-

You laughed, tucking the receipt back into your own pocket. After all the years you had spent with Todoroki he never ceased to surprise you. He was chaotic to say the least, but you loved him. 

A soft knock pulled you away from your packing, the door opening slowly as Todoroki peaked his head inside. “I’m finished packing, do you need help?” he looked over the mess of clothing laid out on your bed, “You’ve made some progress…” He smiled slightly, his tone double sided as he picked up one of his hoodies out of the pile. 

“I think most of this stuff is yours actually, I got all of my stuff packed up.” You teased, pointing to the boxes of clothing you had just finished packing. 

“And how did all these get in here?” He laughed, pulling an empty box over to the side of your bed. 

You pushed him playfully, knowing full well how you had amassed such a large pile of Todoroki’s belongings. You helped him put them in a box, packing them up for him to take back to his own room. 

“We just need to get everything into the truck…” He trailed off looking at your now completely packed up room as you tapped the last box shut. He nudged one with his foot, sliding across the floor as he fought to ignore the lump forming in his throat. 

“Help me take them down?” You questioned, tilting your head to meet his sad gaze. You hadn’t openly discussed that would happen while you were away in America, the topic lightly danced around whenever it was brought up. You knew he was worried, you were after all going away for an undetermined amount of time. Sure you were planning on coming back to Japan one day, this was your home. But finishing your schooling, taking all your hero licensing exams in the states, and getting a visa to eventually come back permanently would take time.

“Of course.” Todoroki smiled softly, trying to hide the tears brimming his eyes. “What would you like me to take?” He questioned, looked around the room.

“Anything, it all needs to go.” You giggle, watching him pick up a box close to the door. “Let me get my bag and I can follow you down.” You reached over a few stacked boxes, pulling your purse off the desk. You looped it over your neck, situating it before leaning down to pick up a box full of books. 

Todoroki leaned up against the open door, holding it for you as you maneuvered your way out with the large box. He followed behind you, walking through the empty common room and out the door. 

Everyone had mostly left earlier that morning, excited to start their lives as pro heroes. Your goodbyes had been said the night before, everyone wishing you a safe trip before retiring for the night.

Todoroki watched as you carefully walked down the stairs in front of him, your head craned to peak out from the side of the box. His eyes followed down to your bag, swaying slightly as you took each step. He squinted at the small plushie the hung from the zipper, “Y/N why do you still have that stupid thing?” Todoroki compained, stopping you as you reached the end of the stairwell. 

“What, my Endeavor keychain?” You looked over your shoulder at the felt plushie that dangled from your bag. “Because you got it for me.” You looked back at Todoroki as he passed you out the door, shaking your head.

“I wish you would let me get you something else. I hate that thing.” He grumbled that last bit, pushing the box into the back of the moving truck. 

“I like it! It was a special day…” You frown at your boyfriend as he took the box from your hands, sliding it in next to the other one. 

It was like so many other things in your room a fond reminder of yet another special moment you had shared with Todoroki. The day seeming so long ago now that you thought about it. 

—-

You had been pacing around your room for a few hours, trying to walk off the nerves that sat in your stomach. They had been there since your encounter with Todoroki early that morning, the concrete weight starting to erase whatever lingering feelings of ease you had left.

It had been a normal morning, you got up early to run. Stopped at the convenience store on your way back to campus for a snack. You studied when you got back before everyone woke up and the dorms came alive. Once everyone woke up you ate breakfast with your friends, and after went back to your room. Well tried to at least.

You were met with a frantic Todoroki outside of your dorm room, lost in thought as he toyed with his finger. He looked your way as you rounded the corner, walking towards you at a dizzying pace.

“Todoroki-kun, are you ok?” You questioned, trying your best to hold eye contact with the boy before you. It was weird enough that a boy was stationed outside your door waiting for you, let alone your bestfriend  you had been quietly crushing over all year long.

He shook his head, “No, I don’t know how to do this…” He held your gaze for a moment, turning away abruptly when he saw the confusion knitting your brows together. 

“Todoroki-kun?” You took a step towards him, reaching out.

He clasped his hands around your extended hand, closing his eyes. “Y/N, I want to ask you on a date tonight!” He yelled out, his grip tightening. Everything was silent for what seemed like an eternity, his courage wavering at the consistent sound of his heart thumping in his ear. It had taken him months to work up to ask you that, the threat of rejection bitter in the back of his mind. You had been a wonderful friend to him since you started your exchange program at UA, possibly his best friend. You understood him in a way that others just couldn’t, and he couldn’t handle losing that because of some simple infatuation. He peeled an eye open, followed by another, worried by your lack of an answer.

Your eyes widened at the sudden outburst, all thoughts leaving you but the constant echo of his question. Months, you had liked Todoroki for months. At one point you wanted to act on it, but as time went on, and your days dwindled at UA you gave up on the idea. But now, here in your grasp was your chance, the inkling of hope that maybe this was worth the risks. You hadn’t realized the length of time you had been lost in the possibilities until you saw Todoroki open his eyes, hurt slowly tinting the multi colored hues. Everything at once came flooding back, the ability to process words coming to the forefront of your frazzled brain. 

“Y-yes!” You frantically nodded, leaning closer to the shell shocked boy. “Tonight?” You added, the one word answers being just enough to convey what you needed to get across. 

“Um, the pier carnival?” He was in the same boat as you, most of his proper vocabulary seeming to leave him when he needed it most. 

You nodded again, grinning from ear to ear.

Todoroki nodded in understanding, releasing your hand. He turned to walk away without another word, his feet carrying him fast down the hallway and out of your view as if nothing had ever happened. 

You watched his hasty retreat, the blood flow coming back to your numb digits as you started to giggle like an idiot. 

Now you were dressed, impatiently waiting for the knock on your door. You wanted the night to start, whenever that was. You had realized your mistake of not asking any important questions the second you closed your dorm door. You didn’t even know what you were doing tonight, let alone what time he was going to come get you. Was he going to come get you? Was he waiting outside for you, what if he had been waiting for hours?

A soft knock sounded from the other side of your door causing you to stumble over your feet and questions. You rushed over to the door, failing to unlock it a few times before throwing it open. 

“Hi Y/N…” He gathered himself from the surprise, “Are you ready to go…” He trailed off, the calm Todoroki you knew and loved showing itself. You nodded, pulling the door closed behind you. 

“All ready!” You beamed, turning around to lock the door. You turned the lock, giving it a test turn to make sure it was indeed locked before turning back around. Your nose grazed the fabric of his jacket as you looked up at the multi-toned eyes looking down at you. You attempted to back up, pressing your back flush against the door. 

Todoroki smiled down at you, taking a step back to give you room. “You look nice, that color suits you.” He always thought you looked nice, you had a way of making anything you wore look it’s best. He usually never said anything, keeping the admirations in the back of his mind. But today seemed as good as any to finally let them out. 

“Thank you, you look…handsome.” The word rolled off your lips, your hand coming up to smooth the navy jacket that seemed to fit him in all the right places. You took his complement as a sign to let loose, the things you always wanted to say finding light between the two of you. 

Todoroki choked on his breath, his heart tugging at you acting affectionately towards him for the first time. Sure as friends you had shared in the occasional kind words, maybe even a hug of two. But the look in your eyes was pure adoration, directed only at him. 

“Are we taking the bus to the pier?” You questioned, blushing at Todoroki’s heavy gaze. 

“Oh, yes! We should hurry or we might miss it.” Todoroki grabbed your hand, pulling you down the hallway with a new sense of urgency. That would be a terrible way to start the night, missing your only way to the actual date. His hand squeezed yours as you both made your way out of the dorm and down the stairs to the campus gates, the bus turning into view as it pulled into the stop. 

You looked down at the soft hand in yours as your feet dragged behind you. You had imagined what the feeling would be like to have his in yours, the touch, the temperature, the tenderness. It was all better then you had pictured, everything heightened past anything you could have imagined. Your skin buzzed against his, your hand vibrating in his at any slight change of contact. You loved it. 

You had stepped up to the bus just before the driver closed the door, thankful that the driver had made the decision to stay for the two of you. Todoroki thanked the man before guiding you to an empty seat near the middle of the bus. He let you slide in first, a gesture you found sweet. Todoroki always liked the window seat, it gave him something to focus his constant nervous attention on. But he had something far better to distract him today. 

He settled into his seat, scooting closer to you. He relaxed his hand, attempting to slide it out of your own. You grip tightened, giving him a displeased look as you pulled his hand into your lap. He blushed at your brash response, it was unexpected to say the least. But wonderful nonetheless, the action making him feel that much more confident in the contact. 

“Have you been to the pier before?” You questioned nonchalantly, unaware of the steady thumping you were causing in his chest. 

“No, today will be my first time…” He had stated it so simply, the same sad tint to his voice every time he correlated something to his traumatic childhood. 

You knew him well enough to know what he really meant, no real need to ask further. “Me either, I’m excited to experience it with you!” You beamed, squeezing his hand in yours. 

He smiled, the corners of his lips tugging up at the thought of having this memory with you. He would never say it outloud, but he had been planning this date for a while. Every aspect of the day color coded and time organized in his brain all hopefully leading up to a perfect date. 

You chatted the rest of the ride, the conversation easing into something so naturally comfortable it felt like every other day together, just with more hand holding. He could get used to this.

The bus pulled to a stop, the both of you coming back to the world around you as the passengers filed out of the bus. Todoroki stood up, pulling your hand slightly to follow him as he made his way into the line, you in tow. 

You tightened your grip on his hand as you made your way off the bus, the crowd of people thickening as you made your way towards the ticket booth. You pushed through people behind Todoroki, small apologies spilling out of your lips as you fought to keep up with your date. 

You were at the front of the line, standing in front of the booth before you even realised you had been in the line. Todoroki pulled out his wallet to pay the teller, he exchanged a few paper notes for bright wrist bands and a few ride tokens, thanking them before pulling you over to the entrance of the park. 

“We have to put these on to enter the park, do you want help with yours?” He flipped the thin plastic, holding out the white backing for you to place your wrist on. 

You extended your arm enough for him to wrap the admissions bracelet around, his long fingers clipping the end closed. He slid a finger under the band, pulling slightly to check if it was comfortably secure. 

He wrapped his own around his wrist, closing it just as he did yours. “ Ready?” He looked up at you, a small blush creeping up his cheeks. His heart picked up again, thumping loud in his ears. With where you were standing, the sunset hit the ocean water just right. The soft oranges and pinks, tinting your features. Each one highlighted in a way that possibly made you the most beautiful he’d ever seen you, but only possibly. He had thought the same things yesterday when he saw you reading on your balcony early in the morning, the sunrise reflecting off the glass doors behind you. He would probably think the same thing tomorrow as well. 

You waved a hand in front of his face, his eyes shifting as he came back to the present. “I’m ready.” You giggled, it wasn’t everyday you saw Todoroki out of his element like this, you liked it. 

He nodded, walking with you to the workers scanning everyone into the carnival. You both raised your wrists once it was your turn, smiling at the worker as you pushed past the spinning turnstile gates.

The pier opened up to you, bright lights and stalls as far as the eye could see. Every pick up of the breeze bringing a new smell from the food vendors in the distance. You tried to pick out each one, popcorn, cotton candy, chocolate, funnel cake…they were endless as you brain rattled on. 

“What do you want to do first?” Todoroki questioned, he knew what your answer would be. He had seen the twinkle in your eye when you first caught sight of them between the fence posts. 

“Carnival games!” You beamed, looking at the rows of prize lined activities. You had loved games since you were a kid, now you had hundreds to explore for the night. 

Todoroki nodded, letting you pull him towards the stalls as your eyes scanned for one to play. Todoroki had “borrowed” his father’s card for this occasion, you had no limit to the amount of games you wanted to play tonight.

Your eyes landed on a grid of glass bottles, a worker waving you over to give the game a try. “Want to try your hand at ring toss?” She shouted, flashing a few rings in his hand. 

Todoroki handed a few coins to the woman for a play, watching as she handed you a small stack of rings. 

“If you make all five you get a big prize, three for a medium, and one for a small. Go ahead!” She stepped back, giving you a clear view of the rows of clear bottles. 

You tossed your first ring, watching as it bounced off the rim of the bottles and down to the hard concrete. The next three followed suit, landing among the other attempts on the ground. You took a deep breath before tossing the last ring, your breath hitching in your throat as it rimmed the neck of the bottle before ultimately falling to the ground. You sighed in defeat, looking at the rows of large plushies that would remain just out of your grasp. “That one was hard.” You chuckled, turning back to Todoroki. 

“We can always try other games.” He smiled, nodding his head towards the rows of games before you. 

You nodded, picking out your next target. You started out hopeful, but each one dampened your mood slightly as you wracked up lose after lose. After your tenth game you had given up hope of taking home any prize, your attention turning to the rides on the other side of the boardwalk. “How about we go ride something instead…” You gave Todoroki a soft smile, tugging him towards the bright rides. 

Todoroki pulled you the opposite way, eyes fixed on a stack of bottles before him. “Let’s win you a prize first.” He was determined now, you were getting a damned prize. He had watched you walk away from everything you wanted all night, he was going to win you something. 

He stopped at the front of the stall, handing the older man a few coins in exchange for a single ball. It was the last of his pocket money, and with no ATM in sight maybe the last chance he had to win you something to take home. 

“It’s simple enough, knock down all the pins and get the big prize, knock down atleast one and you get one of these small ones.” The man shook a brown box full off small felt hero keychains before setting it down on the counter in front of him.

Todoroki nodded, rolling the ball over in his hand. He only had one chance, so he had better make it count. He reeled his left arm back, giving off just enough added quirk power to send the ball hurling towards the stack of bottles and all the way through them. The thick bottles toppled to the ground, clinking on the concrete as they rolled to a stop at the man’s feet. 

Todoroki looked back at you, a proud smile pulling at his lips as he caught sight of the surprised look adorning your face. 

“Hey no quirks, you lost, no prize!” The man yelled at the two of you.

Todoroki whipped his head around, glaring at the man. 

“That’s unfair, where does it say we can’t use quirks?” You angrily questioned, stepping up to the counter.

The worker hastily undid his pencap scribbling something out on the paper in front of him. “Right here.” He spat, flashing you a badly written “No quirks allowed.” sign

“You just wrote that!” You yelled, leaning towards the old man. 

Todoroki placed a hand on your shoulder, pulling you back. “No it says it right up there too Y/N…” Todoroki pointed to the wall behind the man, frowning.

The man turned around, scanning for the mentioned sign.

Todoroki quickly reached over the stall, plunging his hand into the box of small prizes. He pulled out one, grabbing your hand with his other before turning to run. 

You looked between Todoroki and the disgruntled man, his cries dying behind you as Todoroki ran towards the beach, his hand firmly closed around your own. 

Once you ran far enough, the carnival noise soft in the distance he let go. Hold his chest in an attempt to catch his breath.

You leaned over, hands on your knees. “Todoroki, y-you…” You couldn’t find enough breath for the rest of your sentence, panting at the burning in your lungs. 

“He was a dick…” Todoroki airly laughed, catching your gaze as you stood up. “I don’t know what one I grabbed…” He pulled his closed hand out from behind his back, opening it to examine his prize. 

His face contorted in annoyance as he turned the rough felt Endeavor plushie over in his hands. “Lets just take it back.”

You laughed, plucking the toy from his angry grasp. “You can’t return it Shoto, you stole it.” You turned the item over in your hands, feeling over the poorly made stitching. It was perfect. 

“Have it…” He waved, giving the toy one final dirty look. 

“So what now? I don’t think we can go back to the carnival.” You laugh, clipping the plushie to the zipper of your bag. 

Todoroki looked off into the horizon, reaching for your hand. “I wouldn’t mind some soba…” His mind trailed to the soft rumbling in his stomach, yours was soon to follow. 

He started to walk down the beach, beckoning for you to follow as he started the long walk back home. 

“So does this mean I can call you my boyfriend now?” You teased, matching his pace.

“I would like that.” He smiled over at you, wrapping his arm around your neck, fingers laced together. 

—-

You handed Todoroki the last box, watching him slide it into the back of the truck before closing the door. “Was that everything?”

You nodded, taking one last look at the dorm building. “Yeah, that’s it…” 

Todoroki wrapped an arm around your neck, kissing the top of your head. It was the end of you two being kids, the rest of your lives ahead of you. For most it was a happy day, you all graduated, you were all ready to become heroes. But adulthood came with it’s own new set of problems, and for the both of you it was something you have to figure out separate from each other, at least for now. 

He would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared of the next step, scared that everything would be too much for the both of you. He hated to think about the fact that in less than twenty four hours you would be on a plane, in forty two you would be a whole world apart. He didn’t want to think that this would be the end for the both of you, but his mind wandered to the worst of the what ifs. 

You turned towards him, “Shoto, stop worrying so much.” You giggled, pinching his cheek. 

He still hadn’t gotten used to you reading his mind like that, even after almost three years you knew what he was thinking, sometimes better than he did. He chewed at his lip, unsure what to say.

“I love you.” You smiled, cupping his cheeks. You leaned up, softly pressing your lips against his. 

He smiled into the kiss, but you always knew what to say.

You pulled away, settling down on the heels of your feet again. “So what do you want to do for our first date as UA graduates?” You beamed, walking down the courtyard to the school gates.

“I was thinking soba.” He called, picking up his pace to reach you. 

No one knew what would happen while you were away, if you two would even stay together. But he knew that whatever happened, wherever the two of you were. He would always love you. And if things got tough, or he really missed you. Well the open ended plane tickets in his back pocket would fix that. 

[lambourngb]

This Hard Journey

Fic prompt: “There’s something you should know…” Michael Guerin Day 2. This picks up after yesterday’s “This Hard Life” - a part of interconnected ficlets of an AU after the shed, where Alex doesn’t join the Air Force. Mentions of Malex and an Alex/Other here. Finished on ao3 here.

***

He finally got a dog, was all that Michael could think as he sat outside of the house that matched the address Max pulled from the DMV.  They had always wanted to get a dog together, but with pet deposits and the tight budget for rent and food, that had always been a non-starter for them. Not anymore.

The quiet shaded street just off of the Buchanan Arts District was lined with old-style Craftsman homes among the peppered in new, renovated sprawling McMansions born of the house flipping obsession during the real estate boom. New construction sprouting between old, mature trees, juxtaposing progress with tradition.

Alex had chosen one of the older homes, untouched by the remodeling fad with a large fenced in yard filling the property footprint, and a dog house that mimicked the main house in style. Two solid years of song-writing had rewarded Alex with financial security, and of course, after three years living in cramped efficiency apartments and noisy neighbors with Michael, the first thing Alex would want again was a house. The roots of his upper middle class childhood were never far away.

Pressing his forehead against the steering wheel, Michael worked to gather the courage that kept him propelled down the over 1,100 miles from Roswell to Nashville. He had made it here, the least he could do was knock on the door instead of freaking out over the fact that Alex had a house with a mortgage while all Michael could muster in the two years since was buying a bank-possessed Airstream.

At least it was better than sleeping rough in his truck again, something he had done when he fell behind on the rent after Alex had left.

Michael took a deep steadying breath and pushed himself out of his truck. The spans of sidewalk suddenly seemed longer than I-40 through Oklahoma. Another deep breath, the irony of borrowing Alex’s self-soothing habit not lost on Michael at all, he tucked his left hand into a pocket to hide the old damage and knocked firmly on the front door.

There was a long silence extended, shoving anticipation into chagrin as Michael turned his head to peek at the tiny side-carport, confirming there was a car there. A loud, chorus of deep barks picked up from within the house. The dog sounded big, but none of that registered as he picked up Alex’s voice, muffled and indistinct.

“-calm down, buddy. Stay- no, stay- It’s probably Daddy’s new speakers arriving-”

After two and half days of driving, Michael had perfected his speech to Alex. It hit every open wound between them, from the fact he was sorry he hadn’t gone with him, to the weak but true explanation that he wasn’t ready then, but he was now. Then finally the big dice throw, the gamble of everything, that every city needed a good mechanic, Nashville was no different, it was no pressure- but maybe? Maybe they could start over?

The door swung open, and like a bag of spilled marbles, all of Michael’s words scattered away from him.

“Michael?” Alex’s polite smile for an expected delivery dropped into disbelieving shock. He did a comical double take, looking back into the house, then to Michael, then over Michael’s shoulder. The classic Chevy truck parked on the street chased away the shock. “Jesus Christ, it really is you.”

“Alex.” Michael swallowed, his eloquence gone. “You look good.”

They had had three years together, and during that time Michael had seen so many different versions of Alex Manes. He had seen Alex tired, dark circles shading his eyes more consistently than eyeliner with an off-kilter alien antennae from the Crashdown. He had seen Alex resolute, using his shoulders to impart a warning in his black clad Wild Pony shirt to any drunk who dared to give him a hard time. He had seen Alex awkward, as he helped Michael with his chores at the Foster’s ranch when it came to cleaning out a cow pen or pulling the twine efficiently off baled hay. He had seen Alex ashamed, as Michael patiently explained during their first grocery store visit that the EBT card only covered certain items.

This Alex was new. Clean, well-rested, skin clear and not tight on his cheekbones from lean meals or bloated from cheap food. An earring shined from his ear, he was dressed in a soft v-neck shirt and artfully cut frayed jeans. Good was an understatement.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here- I’m here because Isobel got married, and um, she wanted to invite you, but I talked her out of it. I’m sorry. I mean for that, but also for like, everything. Not following you here was something I regretted every day since, but I thought- I thought I had to stay back then, but I don’t anymore- and there’s something you should know-” 

“Babe? Is that our new speakers at the door?” A new voice called out, cutting off the word vomit that was spilling from Michael’s mouth beyond his control.

A male voice.

The wince and apology on Alex’s face told Michael everything he needed to know. Well. He probably should have seen that coming. Only Alex’s reaching out quickly to grab his hand as he turned away stopped him from bolting from the house.

“No, not our speakers, but an old friend from back home is here-” Alex called back, before turning back to make deliberate eye contact with Michael. “He wanted to stop by to say hello.”

A tall well-built black man came into view, holding a squirming pit bull in his arms, walked toward them both with a bright welcoming smile, “A friend from Roswell? An actual flesh and blood human who knows you? I was starting to think you were an alien, Alex.”

“Just because you’re related to half of Nashville and went to school with the other half, Dennis, doesn’t mean I sprouted from a pod-” Alex shot back playfully, clearly picking up a well-worn argument. 

Like a couple. A real couple. With a house and a dog. Michael licked his dry lips, forcing his muscles upward, they probably had retirement accounts. In two years Alex had built something more secure than he had in the three years in Roswell.

“Well any friend of yours, Alex, is one of mine,” Dennis greeted, turning his head to avoid an excited dog kiss before transferring the bundle of fur into Alex’s arms in a fluid movement of trust. “I’m Dennis, welcome to Nashville, um-?” he prompted, extending his left hand to Michael.

“Michael Guerin,” he answered politely, before Michael lifted his left hand awkwardly from his pocket and offered his right in return. His name didn’t alter the warm smile on Dennis’s face. Ah. So he must be a nameless ex for Alex then. Swallowing hard, Michael continued, this time a little meanly, “this hand doesn’t shake so well after I got on the wrong side of a hammer, sorry. But good to meet you.”

The stutter of the clumsy interaction hid Alex’s wince and flash of pain of the reminder. 

Feeling no joy from that, Michael picked up the conversation lightly, “I’m a friend from high school. Been doing some transport work, and a job sent me here to pick up a car to drive back to Roswell, so I thought I might stop in and see what the famous Alex Manes is up to…”

“I’m not famous, I just write the words,” Alex protested quietly, before backing away from the doorway. “We were just about to have lunch, if you want to stay-”

“He’s famous, don’t listen to him,” Dennis interjected proudly. “Did you hear that new song from Paramore? Alex wrote that.”

“Oh I know, I have all the singles Alex wrote,” Michael smiled, looking around the house and at the couple with another deep breath. “I’m his biggest fan, I think. But um, thank you, I can’t stay, I gotta hit the road back to-” he started to say home, but that hadn’t been true for a long time. “Back to Roswell.”

*** 

Hours later with his heart heavy, Michael checked into his room at the Super 8. Normally the expense would have bothered him, but after his day, he figured he was entitled to a little bit of spoiling. And if it was sad that plain wrapped soaps and tiny shampoo bottles constituted spoiling, well, he was content with that.

The clunky black case of his small portable DVD player was propped open on the hotel bed. It was a hand-me-down as technology and electronic gadgets moved into smoother, more versatile means. For him, it was perfect to watch a borrowed DVD in his Airstream since he lacked cable.

With the entire contents of a motel conditioner in his hair, Michael started the paused video file. The shaky dark footage started playing, the sound crackling with amateur hands, before the clear, strong voice of Alex Manes filled the air. 

It was probably pathetic to watch this cribbed footage from YouTube, but the romanticism that fueled his journey down 1-40 was also the same sentiment that preserved this moment in amber for Michael. Pulling open his old notebook from high school, he let Alex’s voice singing about love and loss carry him through the calculations of point atmospheric entry and the parallax distance of habitable stars.

It would be a hard journey, but Michael didn’t know any other kind at this point. Roswell wasn’t his home. Nashville wasn’t going to be home either, but the universe was ever-expanding, surely there was a place for Michael?

[mcrmadness]

Madness draws: Behind the Scenes of the Bela/Farin: “Widumihei” comic.

A few months ago I posted here this comic:

CLICK HERE for the original post about that comic where you can see it in better and bigger size, and also reblog it ;)

And this post is just a deep dive into how I plan, do and draw my comics.

Let’s start with sketchbook things...

So every comic needs a story, right? My comics usually are born from either some dialogue I imagine in my head or by an impulsive inspiration that happens when I see something or talk with people and a random idea is triggered. I’m very good at coming up with new ideas solely based on just one word or so which is why I often ask people if they have anything they would want to see/read because I suck at coming up ideas on my own. Or I do get ideas, but not as often as I’d want to.

This particular idea was very old and I have tried but I cannot find the piece that was my inspiration but it was in some of my old German books because I remember laughing at it with either my brother or even with the German teacher in 2011 or 2012. I was only able to find my first “sketch” of the story:

This is in the notebook I used for writing down some comic ideas and even had one comic in it, plus it’s also my fanfiction writing notebook. It has no date but I know for sure it was either 2011 or 2012 because that’s when I did my last Bela/Farin comic and pretty much started my (unintentional) 6 year pause from drawing altogether.

I have always been trilingual when I do these plans for my comics, often writing the “narration” in Finnish and the dialog either in English or German because I just cannot imagine them to speaking Finnish. The translation of that text goes as:

COMIC (sarjis = sarjakuva = comic book in Finnish)

1. The phone is ringing. 2. F: “Widumihei?!” B: ? 3. B: “Farin wtf?” 4. Farin walks from another room. 5. B: “Widumihei?” 6. F: “It means, “will you marry me?”“ 7. B: *wtf* REPLAY:

1. Bela is sitting/laying somewhere. 2. The phone is ringing. Reached with his hand? 3. Looks at the phone, “wtf?”, a thought: “von Jan: Widumihei?!” 4. Bela: “Farin?” / “Jan?” 5. F comes from another room, looks in from behind the door frame or something. B: “Widumihei?” 6. F: “Widumihei: “WIllst DU MIch HEiraten”“ 7. B: “WTF”

So when I then started to draw these comics again in 2018, I kept thinking about this one too and still wanted to draw it one day. If you have read the finished comic, you may notice something different in the old plot versus new: I switched Bela’s and Farin’s roles. Back then I didn’t know too much yet but over the years I have learnt much much more about them and I just figured that asking to marry him even as a joke would be too much for Farin and that it would fit Bela’s persona much much better.

***

I had a bit of problems with getting started with this one, mainly because the last times I drew a dä comic was in June 2020, in April 2020 and before those in October 2019. Because of so long time between the comics, I just always forgot about my methods and in which order I do things and what works for me the best. So every time I started to work on a comic, I had to start completely over because all I had was blank paper and I somehow needed to get my thoughts in order and out of my head, into a physical form aka as text and images on the paper, and it’s easier said than done.

So pardon me but from this on the text is going to get a little bit confusing for a little while from now on - but it’s also a very good look over how the life with my suspected ADHD be like sometimes...

I started working on the plot once again to my sketchbook... I think it was somewhere in the beginning of 2020. Because the next idea there is from the summer. This is what the plot looked like at that point - here I had already switched their roles:

Shortly, the texts go: 1. Farin is reading a book. 2. A phone makes a noise. 3. (Farin) looks at it/read the message. / 6. B appears into the doorway. / 11. F spits out the tea.

And underneath it you can see one of the stick figure storyboards I often do in order to kinda see the text in pictures better, and I will write down or draw important aspects like expressions (Farin’s eyebrows) or things like *facepalm’* or *eyeroll* so that I remember to add them.

Next I was struggling with the era. It needed to be an era with the old mobile phones with SMS options but still not too early because I feel that Farin would have not been the first in line to buy a brand new technology object, especially not when it’s a phone. I was even googling when did Germany get their first mobile phone - I remember I got my first phone aka Nokia 5510 in 2000 or 2001 after my mom got a new one and gave her old one to me, so the story shouldn’t happen too many years before the Millenium.

Originally I planned 1997 for that - I needed to think about that based on their styles because shorter hair is harder to draw. Here’s me trying out some hairs and how they’re to draw and which era would suit my needs the best. I actually find the text hilarious altho it’s mine but this is what it’s in English:

Time period -> 1996-1997? 1998 I’ve never drawn 1999 is not that much fun to draw 2000 is already a bit too late? Bela not that much fun to draw. -2001 moustaches are not fun to draw?

I think I was struggling with my thoughts because the next thing in that sketchbook is yet another storyboard:

Or actually I think this was just to see how many sheets I’d need and how many panels I could fit on one sheet.

Anyhow, I then did other things for some time before I got back to this project this year. Including finishing with the sketchbook I had been using since 2010 (and the half of it since 2018!) and I had to get myself a new one. So when I started to think about this comic again, one night I was just thinking about some Bela/Farin scenarios as usual and suddenly I just felt that I NEED to do the comic in the 1998 style!!! So suddenly we jump from the original 1997 idea to the new era, only because of the colors. 

So asap I grabbed my sketchbook and started to look for the proper colors for the hairs:

This one I posted here before too as I was struggling a lot and just felt that I didn’t know how to draw, again. Sometimes when I feel like that, I start drawing with my non-dominant aka left hand because it doesn’t have all that in muscle memory so drawing and writing with it feels more free and it feels almost like pressing a refresh button in my brain. Suddenly the right one know again how to draw because left isn’t too well in control. The below part of the image is done completely with the left hand, including the coloring.

And because I had now a new sketchbook, I somehow couldn’t... deal with the plot and plans being in a different sketchbook than everything else so I had write the plot/dialog AGAIN, into this new sketchbook, along with the storyboards and everything:

Translations: kirja = book, puhelin = phone, oviaukossa = in the doorway, teet suusta = tea(s) out of a/the mouth. “Puhelin zoom” just means “close up to the phone screen” in Madness.

You can also see that I found out that I don’t need to do the stick figure storyboards to imitate a sheet when I can just draw this rectangle and smaller rectangles inside of it and write there numbers to match the things in the dialog to make it much easier for me to plan the pages. And here’s also a small easter egg: there’s 13 panels overall in this comic :D I almost did 12 but then felt that no, I really need to do 13 because, you know, the hairs, the era, the album title. And also because I like the number so much lmao.

So from there we get to the second storyboard which is not just stick figures anymore but just me planning how I want the panels to look like. To get the imagery of the rooms and facial expressions etc. out onto the paper so that I can see them in real life instead of my shady imagination that sometimes isn’t as vivid as what I could be.

Also have you ever tried to draw a beach chair? It’s more difficult than you’d think:

I tried to draw the same thing from the same reference photos so many times and still I always felt like I was trying to draw that impossible triangle or some other illusion image. And it just went on and on here:

Originally I also had planned the second panel to be a close up of the phone so that Farin’s face would be left at the background from the frog perspective. That’s what I was trying to with that weird-ass face on the left but turned out that I have never drawn these characters from such angle and I just... couldn’t see it in my head clearly enough to be able to draw it. So I dismissed that idea and that’s why the angle changed from a phone close-up to a side view to the room and at Farin.

As I was in the middle of planning the second page, I suddenly wasn’t happy with my original plot anymore. I wasn’t sure if it would work and needed to think about it one more time. So I wrote two other dialogs here, along with a storyboards for them both. I ended up choosing B from those two options eventually.

I don’t remember anymore if I had already done the first sketch of the comics or not but at some point I just felt that I no longer knew how to draw in my style. Sometimes you just draw and learn wrong things and wrong methods that you get used to and then you have to take a break and actually do a little bit of studying over your own style to find again the way how you want to draw, and get rid of the bad habits and find the good ones again. In my case it was to draw the eyes way way too big when they originally never were THAT big, so I had to learn how to draw them small and normal again. That’s why I did these, as I really needed to pay attention to the faces and remember how to draw them again:

The front-side views were another big readong for this “study” because I have drawn that perspective only once or twice before and I needed to figure out how I want to draw that. Also, I don’t know if it’s just me but for some reason the front-side Farin reminds me of one of the parent characters from this cartoon called The Rugrats which I watched as a kid. It was totally unintentional, but you can google The Rugrats if you don’t know how the charatcers looked like in the cartoon.

The things below are just me testing something. The red Farins were just to test how the colored pencils work on each other and how the fineliners work with the colored pencils, and which way is the better way to do the shading. And the red colored pencil was the only one available at the time so that had to do.

A little bit about the heads btw: You might notice some difference between the left and right faces. It’s because I have always, always struggled with drawing anything that is looking at right. Most of the animal portraits and all I have drawn so that they look at left because I just find it so much easier to draw. I think with comics it’s because I always start with the eye (and the eyebrows if I don’t forget it) and then do the forehead, nose, mouth and chin, and after that I either continue from the hair (from the front) or do the ear first. But when I am drawing them to look at right, I have to basically draw the mirror image and starting from the hair is not the key because it can easily mess up with the perspectives. I still usually draw everything in the same order but it really is difficult because I’m doing a mirror image and my own hand is on the way, too. Basically I’m drawing from right to left instead of left to right! (I think I should try drawing those with my left hand, then...)

And from here we get to the first sketch of the comic. From here on the images are from my phone’s camera so they are sometimes illegally bad but no can do, I again didn’t think I’d post these to anywhere:

Here you can see I was mainly just focusing on the shapes and the space inside those panels. Just trying to see the perspective and how everything is. The only thing that I drew more precisely was the third panel, with the hand and phone. I had quite a nice memory of old phones in my head but I still googled for some reference photos of Nokia 5110 phones as that was my first phone (as I mentioned earlier), and I also happened to have some of my other old phones on the table nearby so I took my own hand reference photos too:

They always say there’s a little bit of the artist in their art and this one literally has that - “Farin’s” hand is actually my hand! :D And I think the size is kinda on point too because this phone was like 2-3 times smaller than Nokia 5110 and I have small hands, and I believe Farin must have much bigger hands, so the 5110 probably would have looked about the same size in his hand.

After the first sketch, the next step was then - the second sketch:

I also wanted to add more action to the panels so that it’s interesting to look at and not just basically the same panel over and over again with just different speech bubbles, so I came up with the idea of Farin spitting out his tea not being as cartoony as it could be and that he would have to actually clean it up instead of just leaving it there just because in cartoons/comics everything is possible. That way I got more depth into the panels and it was also interesting for me to draw because I drew lots of new postures I have never drawn before, and I’m surprised how well it went despite me not even looking for any kind of reference photos! The only things I used reference photos for were the beach chair, and the phone in a hand. (I have actually always been quite good at drawing 3D objects and spaces, especially if they are rectangular.)

So yeah, this is the phase where everything is then finished with pencil and what follows next is drawing the lines with fineliners - I use Sakura Pigma Micron fineliners for everything else, and black Promarker for doing the lines for the panels (and also if I need bigger pitch black areas done).

Here are the panel lines done but I only had a photo of this first sheet.

And here are both sheets with the finelining done and all pencil marks etc. erased. I really like this part because it looks so clean when all those sketch marks are gone. It’s also crazy to think I literally spend hours drawing something in pencil only to erase it all away later :D

And here’s one photo of the coloring process, the first one has only the base colors done but none of the shadows yet (apart from the shirts), and the second one has some of the shadows done but not everything yet.

Usually after coloring, I will then go through everything with the fineliners one more time to make sure all the lines are dark enough as it just gives everything the finished yet a bit “sketchy” look that what I really like with my comics. The actual last detail is always adding my signature along with the date or year.

And here’s the finished comic one more time for comparison:

Don’t forget to check and reblog the actual post about this comic if you read this post all the way here. I’d appreaciate that a lot since art and artist on Tumblr are not really that much appreciated.

[n-blanca-archived]

Hello! If you have time, could you do a matchup for Bnha? I'm a straight girl!

I behave quite differently in public and private situations. I often voluntarily play a leader role in public and speak my honest opinions. So people often say that I‘m organized and determined. When it comes to my work, I’m a bit of a perfectionist, and I have a desire to be recognized by others by my ability. But when I have a personal relationship with someone, I become more introverted and less talkative. I almost always follow what others want and become their listener, so I don’t really talk much about myself. Because I care a lot about people around me, I enjoy remembering small things about them and reminding them later to make them feel good. So I compliment others a lot and never forget to celebrate the anniversary, even is it's not considered important to care about those things. I usually enjoy spending time alone at home, but I also like taking a walk on sunny days. Thank you for reading!

hey hey, thanks for sending in a matchup! <3

ohnograpes’ spring break event!☀

you’ve been matched with...

Izuku Midoriya!

Ironically Enough, this was kind of hard to choose from between Bakugou and Izuku! But in the end me and the council (my sister and best friend LMAO) settled on good ol’ green boy!

Specifically the listener comment. I think with someone like Izuku, resident mumbles-more-than-he-actually-talks boy, you really need to be willing to just sit and let him talk, just show him you’re being attentive and it’ll make him feel warm inside. What really drove it home though was definitely your comment about remembering seemingly unimportant details about people. Coming home with an All Might keychain and handing it to Izuku, because “This is his silver age costume, right? You said you were missing this one.” would make him melt. Izuku, who’s never really gotten so used to people caring about him and being nice to him after so many years of ostracization, is suddenly absolutely head over heels with how much you care about him. 

date idea!

bookstores. okay, lets be honest here...he’s not really there for books in particular. Rather, he spends his time in the comic section, skimming through the issues he already has because they’re still so cool to him, and picking out the ones he’s never seen before to add to his collection. You’ll stand with him as he makes his way through the section, holding his hand when you can or maybe just standing close enough to feel his body heat. After you two pick anything you’ve wanted from the little shop almost an hour away from the more populated city nearby, you’ll make your way into the shopping center and buy drinks, sometimes hot tea when its cold, boba or maybe even just cold water. You’ll both then find a main tiny lunch to eat, perhaps a sandwich or a bowl with meat/vegetables and rice from the nearest store. There’s a specific spot in the main walk-through park, right under a tree, where the both of you sit and read your bookstore picks for a few hours, until the sun sets. 

couple aesthetic! 

very green, predictably lol. very chill vibes from the both of you, excluding deku’s nervous energy of course. I think his notebooks are v messy because he can’t be bothered to think about how nice it looks when his mind is moving so quickly! Though, once you two are closer, he finds it easier to mellow out around you, and even his rants lose that high-pitched anxious tone after a bit. 

dialogue interaction!

Izuku: “I just think it’s really cool how Hawks’ feathers each individually can do their own thing! How his wings are built individually instead of like a standard bird, with a skeleton and nerves. Maybe he can still feel them? Though that would imply that their are nerves in them, and that’s not true to birds...Maybe the ones closest to his back do! What do you think?” 

H: “Maybe just the one’s closest to his skin have actual attachments to the nerves, like you said.” 

Izuku: “Right, that’s what I was thinking! It would make the most sense, seeing as...”

whew, pretty long dialogue! though its deku, so ofc it’s to be expected heh. im just really attached to the idea of him being able to go on his rants and sometimes dip into mumbling and you’re still able to follow along pretty well, you know? its cute. 

song(s) you two remind me of! 

i wont lie and say these were hard like i dont have a playlist for deku LMAO but regardless i tried really hard with the help of my sister to pick the right vibes, hope you like them! 

Let’s Fall in Love for the Night by FINNEAS

Are You Bored Yet? (feat. Clairo) by Wallows, Clairo

Hey Lover! by Wabie

[fangirlshrewt97]

The Old Guard Fanfic - 5,472,730,538 Possibilities

Author(s): Fangirlshrewt97

Fandom: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)

Pairing: Joe/Nicky, Nicky & Nile

Characters: Nile Freeman, Nicolo di Genova, Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Andromache of Scythia 

Rating: General 

Warnings: None 

Additional Tags:  Team as Family, Family Bonding, Brother-Sister Relationships, Fluff, Basically Nile is missing home, And Nicky is a cinnamon roll who finds a way to lessen the ache, and they find a new thing to bond over that does not involve blood, Sudoku

Summary: 

He reached for his pocket and pulled out a pen, tossing it to Nile. “Why not do it now?” “It doesn’t- It’s not the same.” Nile argued, biting her lip. “But you want to do it no? So do it.” Nicky said, gesturing to the paper. Was it really so easy? She put the pen to the paper but stopped. “Yeah no, it feels weird to do it alone.” Nicky hummed, sitting back up in his chair, leaning on his elbows in the table. “I’ll do it with you then.”

Basically, Nile comes across something that makes her think of home, Nicky sees this, and tries his best to help her not feel as lonely. And is also a little bit of a shit about it.

Link to A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25553461

                                                     ///

They were in Malaysia, having finished an easy takedown of a small ring of human traffickers. They were due to fly out that night, so Nicky and Nile had been charged with buying the necessary supplies while Joe handled clean up at the scene, and Andy ensured the children would find good homes.

They had stopped at a bakery inside of a mall, Nicky insisting that they had some choice sweets that Andy loved. So Nile had been waiting outside the store while Nicky went to make his purchases when the small bookstore window display across the bakery caught her eye. Biting her lip, she peered to see Nicky was still busy perusing the wares, so she hefted her bags and made her way into the bookstore.

It was a small shop, barely large enough for four people at a time. There was a small kid looking at some comics and a bored cashier scrolling through his phone. Setting her bags down, Nile reached to grab what had caught her eye.

“What is that?” Nicky asked suddenly, startling Nile into dropping the book.

“Shit. Sorry.” Nile mumbled in the direction of the annoyed looking cashier. When she turned, she saw Nicky holding the book.

“101 Sudoku puzzles?” Nicky asked, brows furrowed.

Nile was thankful her skin color meant he couldn’t notice the embarrassed flush overtaking her.

“It is stupid!” Nile said as she snatched the book and put it back on the display, wincing as she realized it would have been more believable if she hadn’t acted like she had something to hide. Nicky had a raised eyebrow, clearly not buying her lie.

Nile sighed. “Seriously, Nicky. It is nothing, can we go? Are you done looking at the bread?”

Nicky gave her a once over, but thankfully let it go, holding up a bag that honestly smelled incredible. Feeling her stomach clench in hunger, she nodded.

“Cool. Let’s go!” Nile said, leading them out of the bookshop into the sweltering Malaysian sun. She definitely did not run. She just… walked fast.

She forgot the incident soon after, Copley sent them on another mission hours after they reached their next safe house, sending them all the way to Brazil, where they had to take down a drug ring and free a brothel filled with women who were being forced to pay back their debts with their bodies.

She was reminded of the incident when something was placed next to her head where it was currently resting on a table’s edge at their São Paulo safe house. It was a small apartment, two bedroom and bathrooms, but it fit their needs. Andy was currently on the phone with Copley, and Joe had gone into the kitchen to make dinner.

When she looked up, she saw a newspaper, and Nicky’s hand covering part of the page. At her questioning look, he just smiled and moved his hand.

Sitting back slowly, she looked at the Sudoku in the newspaper. She raised her own eyebrows at Nicky. The man just smiled wider and sat down. “This is what you were looking at in the bookshop. In Malaysia. A book about these.”

“Um… yeah.” Nile said, surprised the man had remembered. But then again, Nicky seemed to remember everything when it came to stuff that caused his family to have any kind of reaction.

“What about it?” Nicky asked.

“What?”

“Your eyes, they became a little sad when you saw it. What about them makes you sad?” Nicky prodded gently. And Nile couldn’t bring herself to be annoyed at this man who was trying to hard.

She sighed. “It’s nothing.”

“If it was nothing, it wouldn’t make you sigh.”

And that was the thing wasn’t it. “It’s just. Jamal, my brother? We used to play with these.”

Nicky’s brows furrowed in confusion. For a 1000-year old man, he was remarkably expressive at times. “Play these?”

Nile hummed. She picked up the paper, and ran her fingers lightly on the puzzle. “After school, we would take the paper, copy out the puzzle into a notebook and then we would start the clock, seeing who could solve it faster.”

Nile felt a smile start to form on her own face at the thought. She had missed doing these, missed doing them with her brother. Her smile faded when she realized she’d never get to do their Sudoku races together again. Nile placed the paper back down.

When she looked up, Nicky was looking at her intensely. “What?”

Giving a big exhale, he leaned back in his own chair. He reached for his pocket and pulled out a pen, tossing it to Nile. “Why not do it now?”

“It doesn’t- It’s not the same.” Nile argued, biting her lip.

“But you want to do it no? So do it.” Nicky said, gesturing to the paper.

Was it really so easy? She put the pen to the paper but stopped. “Yeah no, it feels weird to do it alone.”

Nicky hummed, sitting back up in his chair, leaning on his elbows in the table. “I’ll do it with you then.”

Nile blinked, but twisted her mouth into a wry grin. “Sure. Ok, here is how you do it. You see how this divided into 9 boxes? The objective of the game is to fill all the boxes in such a way that each box, row, and column has 1 through 9 written on them, with no repeating in them. Like here for example,” she showed one box, “see these four 3’s? That means a 3 can only come here, because it is the only box where it won’t overlap. Got it?”

Nicky hummed concomitantly, his eyes amused. “Yes.”

“Alright, let’s do it then.” Nile said. She shifted her chair so she was next to Nicky, and the pair of them leaned over the puzzle to do it together, Nicky pointing out a few numbers as Nile finished it.

“That was fun.” Nicky said when they completed it. “We should do this again.”

And to Nile’s surprise, she found herself in agreement. She felt a pang of sadness at not doing it with Nicky, but it was still fun. “Yes we should.”

They got another job the next day and were whizzing off again, this time to South Africa. Their safe house in Cape Town was a beach front apartment, bought by Andy back in the 80’s. It was an old building, quiet and creaking, but served its purpose.

Andy was on cooking duty this time, and Nile was given first turn with the shower, when Joe and Nicky returned from their shopping trip for new clothes. Nile did not think she had ever bought this many clothes so quickly in her life, but honestly, she had also not had a habit of constantly getting shot and covering them in blood and bullet holes.

By the time Nile came out, Joe was sitting in front of the TV, flipping channels, probably trying to find a soccer match. Andy had a plate of food and was sitting beside him, more focused on her dinner than the match. When Nicky spotted Nile, he made a happy noise and gestured for her to join him at the dining table.

“I saw these on our way back, and thought that if you did not mind, we could continue that tradition you told me about?” he asked, eyes betraying his excitement, even as his voice remained steady.

“Tradition?” Nile asked.

Nicky nodded and reached for a small brown bag she hadn’t noticed. He pulled out two identical books and a packet of pens, and slid one of each to Nile. Nile bit her lip at the time. 400 Sudoku Puzzles.

“Nicky…” Nile whispered, even as she clutched the book in a white-knuckled grip.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to Nile.” Nicky assured her when he saw her tear up, worry coloring his expression.

And oh, Nile could not stand to see that concern when all this man had tried to do was give her a piece of home back to her.

“No. Thank you. I had fun last time.” she said, giving him a watery smile. He responded in kind. “Are you sure about races though?”

His eyes took on a wicked glint. “Absolutely. It is tradition no?”

Nile chuckled. “Yes.”

“Joe!” Nicky called out, and Joe turned to see him, getting up to come to them when Nicky beckoned. He pressed a quick kiss to Nicky’s hair when he was within reach. “I need you to time us.”

“Time you?”

“Nicky and I are going to complete Sudoku’s and we are going to see who can finish faster.”

For some reason that made Joe bark a laugh. “You and Nicky?”

Nile frowned. “Yes? Why, you have a problem?”

“No, no, dearest Nile, I would be honored to keep time.” he said as he continued to wear a wide grin, pulling up his phone.

Nile squinted at him before turning to Nicky. “Should we just do the first puzzle?”

“Seems logical.” Nicky said as he flipped to the appropriate page.

Both of them uncapped their pens and got ready before glancing at Joe. Andy had turned around in the sofa, watching the two of them instead of the TV.

“Are you ready?” Joe asked, and their nods, “1, 2, 3, GO!”

Nile focused on the puzzle, going by each square methodically, crossing off the possibilities mentally in her head. It was an easy puzzle, so she did not have to write down all the potential numbers. And yet, she was startled when Nicky slammed his book down with a “Done!” when she was only halfway through hers

“Wait what?” Nile asked, reaching to grab the older man’s book while Joe leaned back in his chair, laughing.

“1 minute 15 seconds Nicky! Good job!”

Nile gaped as she looked at the puzzled solved perfectly. She placed the book down and glared at the Italian man, who now at least had the wherewithal to look sheepish. “Explain.”

It wasn’t quite a growl but close enough.

Nicky blushed, and Joe answered for him. “Nile, uhkt sageera, Nicky and I have lived for a thousand years now. Not to mention that Nicky has been doing the New York Times crossword puzzle since it was first published, in what? 1940? 1945? He tended to do the other puzzles too. I believe the first Sudoku puzzle was in the UK? I remember him being excited about it.”

Nile stared at him, jaw open while Andy started to cackle in the background. She spun in her seat, half furious, half indignant. “You cheater!”

Nicky put up both hands in surrender. “I didn’t exactly cheat Nile!”

“I thought you had never done Sudokus before! I thought you were humoring me!”

“Well-”

“Oh my god, I explained how to solve a Sudoku to you in São Paulo, why didn’t you say anything?”

“You seemed very passionate…”

“Nicky…” she growled only to sit back heavily in her chair, definitely not pouting, no matter how fond Joe looked at her.

Nicky’s own sheepish look was slowly transforming into a playful grin and she rolled her eyes in exasperation before laughing. “Alright, fine, this was on me.”

“I had a lot of fun Nile. I would enjoy doing this again.”

Nile groaned, tilting her head back and covering her face, exaggerating the dramatics because it drew more laughs from her family, and she was coming to treasure these laughs as much as those of her mother and brother.

She sat back when the laughter died down, taking the Sudoku book in hand. “I would like that too Nicky. Guess there is another aspect of the tradition we are going to be repeating too now though.”

When Nicky looked at her confused, her wry look transformed into a fond grin. “I am fated to always lose at Sudoku races to my big brother apparently.”

“Nile…” Nicky breathed her voice as though it was something delicate. Precious. And then he got up and came around the table to pull her into a hug she returned with all her strength. “Non riesco a immaginare un onore più grande dell'essere tuo fratello, sorellina.”

Even if she didn’t understand the words, she understood the meaning, and a small part of the hole created by her family was filled in.

“I love you too, Nicky.”

And she did, this man who was willing to die for her, to kill to protect her.

Even if it meant an eternity losing Sudoku races to him.

[onigiriico]

Osora Interview translation (pt.2)

(printed in AnimaniA 4/2018, p.58 - 61 / interview originally given in March 2018 at the Manga-Comic-Con in Leipzig, Germany)

( pt.1 )

The Internet offers Let’s Players, but also all kinds of artists an opportunity for very direct communication with their fans. However, this can also have its downsides when it comes to potentially negative feedback. How do you deal with this issue?

—Sometimes you just stumble across negative feedback that you didn’t want to see, and that can chip away at your motivation and creativity. I try to prevent that by not really looking at reactions in the first place, and when I do happen to see negative feedback, I try to forget about it again as soon as possible. Of course, when I start a new series, I’m curious about the readers’ reactions and go looking for feedback, but if eight out of ten comments are very positive and two are negative, I still tend to get stuck thinking about those two negative comments. There even was a time when that negative feedback made me feel too depressed to draw for a couple of days. But the more often this happens, the more you learn to deal with this criticism. I can stomach it pretty well by now, and I think it’s important to not let negative feedback get to you.

Did your experience regarding interactions with readers change much from Boku to Senpai no Tekken Kousai to The Ones WIthin?

—Digital publications receive a lot more feedback than series that are only released in print - be it via email or via Twitter. Twitter is the main source of comments. With Boku to Senpai no Tekken Kousai, there was much less of a response, and the feedback that we did get was usually in the form of letters. Since readers had to buy the magazine first and then go out of their way to send a letter, that was a lot more complicated. (T/N: i.e. it takes more time to write/send a whole letter than to just send a tweet)

How do you handle responding to messages from your readers? For example, do you set specific times for yourself to reply?

—Since I get the most reader interaction on Twitter, I try to answer questions and comments there when I find the time for it. I always do that myself because I want to respond to my fans in my own words. That doesn’t feel like extra work to me, but rather like a pleasant change of pace. Aside from my personal account, there’s also the official account for The Ones Within, which is mostly for promotional use. My editor retweets my tweets there and forwards any questions that get asked there to me.

Could you describe your usual daily routine when working on The Ones Within?

—I’m a night owl, so I usually get up rather late at around 10 am. After that, I basically work in two rounds. The first lasts the entire day and ends in the evening, around dinner time. Then I take a short break, and the second round starts at around 9 pm and ends at roughly 2 am. If I’m close to a deadline, I sometimes just continue drawing until I pass out. (lol) I never take much time to eat at that point, either.

What advantages are there to drawing digitally in comparison to drawing traditionally?

—Oh, there’s a lot - especially how easy it is to make corrections and adjustments. Your work space is neater and other people can’t stare as easily at what you’re drawing. There’s no need to erase sketches or apply screentones by hand (T/N: see here how screentones are applied traditionally, it’s definitely faster digitally lol), so there’s not as many work steps either and you can finish your work even on your own [without assistants]. And since it’s all data anyway, it’s easy to save as well.

Do you have any advice for artists who are just starting to work digitally?

—Practice makes perfect! I used to have a private page online where I more or less kept a drawing diary, all about original characters. I still kind of do the same thing on Twitter nowadays. It’s important to keep at it and actually draw on a daily basis, that way you’ll get used to it. There’s also live streams from artists on Pixiv and Twitter - it’s helpful to watch those and adapt parts of their progress for your own work.

You’ve shown us a picture of one of your notebooks that you use to jot down your ideas - where do you usually come up with these? (*picture under the cut at the bottom of the post)

—There’s two main places where I tend to draw spontaneously. For one, on the train - usually after meetings with my editor. I can best sort out my thoughts right after those meetings and save some first ideas. Secondly, in bed, right before going to sleep. Ideas flow really easily when you’re sleepy and letting your thoughts wander. Also, I’d feel like I’m wasting my time if I did nothing and just waited to fall asleep, so instead I imagine as many scenarios as possible and jot down the best ones. When I come up with something I especially like, I might also get up again and draw it digitally right away. (lol) I don’t take my notebooks with me everywhere I go, though.

Both Boku to Senpai no Tekken Kousai and The Ones Within combine dark, mysterious elements with more comedic ones. How do you find a balance between these two aspects, and what do you like so much about combining these opposites?

—I like both comedy and serious plots, so I wanted to draw both - in the end, I combined the two without really thinking much about it. I usually just let this come to me naturally while I’m drawing too, although I do keep the timing in mind. For example, it wouldn’t be appropriate to make a joke in the middle of a sad or serious scene, and vice versa. So, I take care not to destroy the atmosphere that I’m trying to convey [in each given scene].

Personally, which character from The Ones Within is your favorite?

—I can’t really “rank” my characters because I love them all! Going by who’s the easiest to draw, it would be Anya. He’s a pretty straight-forward type, so he’s easy to understand. He’s also the only one who looks angry a lot of the time and has eye bags… and his accessories, like the helmet, his iron bar or the chewing gum - they make him stand out and thus easy to draw.

Do you already have an ending planned for The Ones Within or do you still have a few options to choose from?

—The ending is already planned out!

Do you maybe already have a new project in the works that you would like to tell us about?

—For now, I’m just really happy that The Ones Within is getting an anime adaptation and I can finally talk about it, now that it’s getting officially announced this May! I can’t wait to see my characters animated on the screen!

A final word to your fans?

—Thank you so much for reading my manga! There are so many Japanese manga series out there, and I’m really happy that you chose to read mine out of all of them. The Ones Within is getting an anime adaptation, and of course the manga is still ongoing as well, so I hope you will stick around and enjoy it until the end. Thank you!

Osora-sensei, thank you very much for the interview!

I tried to decipher these but the picture was too small to read much sadly agdjsdvhs

The bigger page seems to be some Kudou bros goodness? They seem to be talking about Shinya having Kenya's piercings (and maybe about Anya getting piercings as well, considering his very resolute "I don't want to." lol) and they're also mentioning ramen at some point from what I can decipher

And the bottom right looks like some kind of character relationship chart / worldbuilding notes,,,