#also they had me take like a depression test good god

[anonbinaryweirdo]

my sister has to get four shots two in each arm

I have to look away bc she cries and it physically hurts me 😭

[toxycodone]

WHAT ARE YOUR DAISUKE HCS ??? GENERAL AND DATING ??? 🥺🥺🙏🙏

ship. daisuke jaurez (mouthwashing) x reader

content. general + sfw + fluff

an. ummm like and reblog and leave comments or I’ll shave Daisuke bald. also no weird babying Daisuke 💪🏽

General

This is pretty much confirmed he’s Asian + Latino but he’s definitely Japanese/Mexican to me. He’s so SoCal coded it’s absolutely ridiculous. I’m thinking like…he lived close to the border or is from San Francisco or LA and has a lot of family in SoCal.

As far as MBTI goes I’m saying he’s an ESFP/ENFP and as far as Zodiac goes I’m saying Gemini or Cancer.

In his formative years he had a “dank memes” phase. Like, middle/high school Daisuke was a total dork. He was a kid lucky enough to be diagnosed w adhd when he was younger so he was on meds and did EXCEPTIONAL in school. Lived off the praise of teachers. He was especially good at science and math. (Which is why his parents encouraged him to get a mechanic internship).

^adding to this he has adhd + depression (the depression is more of a byproduct of the ADHD tho) and he takes meds!! he probably takes stimmies so he’s personally really concerned about his heart health.

HE HAD AN UGLY DUCKLY PHASE. Glasses + braces king. And he was awkward asf. But he slowly grew into himself and his style. He still has insecurities though and doesn’t think he’s that attractive bc of it.

I don’t think he made it past community college or gen Ed courses though. (He has HELLA test anxiety and despite being smart he sucks hard at ACT/SAT). In college he felt really isolated and it was hard for him to get out there so. He kinda shut down.

To me he’s around 23-25 years old. Old enough to where the pressure to “do something with his life” and figure shit out is hitting hard. But also like, still at an age where you’re first figuring shit out. He’s really insecure about this. Not because he’s stupid or anything he just has NO idea what to do w his life and can’t figure it out.

He had/has a part-time gig at a local art store he absolutely adores. He’s an artist and participated in a lot of local competitions/collabs/etc. he’s made a lot of connections here and wants to be a full time artist BUT this is where his parents draw the line. He’s fought w his parents a few times about this but it ultimately boiled down to “we’re just concerned it won’t pay/etc.”

He begrudgingly accepts this bc he knows it’s bc his parents care so much about him and want him to be successful bc they think he’s a smart guy.

Loves, loves, loves traditions and holidays. He dresses up and decorates for them all. Gets way too excited about seasonal drinks and food specials too LOL.

This is kinda random but. Vaquero Daisuke. Idk what to do with this HC but I think he loves Western style and tried to do horse riding as a kid but his mom enrolled him in DRESSAGE as a kid and he was like THIS IS SO CRINGE.

still enjoys the rodeo though. If he could get back on a horse again he’d do barrel racing.

Grew up having to take his shoes off before going in the House so on the Tulpar he always leaves his shoes neatly by his door to feel some sort of normalcy 💔 (at home he usually kicks them off into a corner and it always annoys his mom)

He has a good relationship with his parents. They really, really try to understand their son and are really patient with him but they don’t want him to end up complacent (he probably has a cousin or two who are too spoiled and his parents HATE that.)

Specially close to his mom though. She spoils him bc that is her BABY and he’s such a sweetheart despite it all it’s hard for her not to (his dad is kinda similar too but is like. Trying to hold back.)

Thrifting god. (Canon from the devs btw.) It doesn’t matter that he has the money for new clothes, he has a passion for scoring unique finds. He’s also a frequent enjoyer of vintage markets and pop up shops. I also personally think he loves farmers markets.

Probably a furry (doesn’t suit up though) and definitely enjoys raves (ask him about his Kandi collection)

Also buys concert tickets for local venues in bulk (like he catches them on sale and like. For a month he’s going to a new venue every weekend for a show). He’s so proud of being into niche musicians.

an avid member of fashiontok. I really think he loves this and reads theories and shit. He has a pretty good following on his fashion/life account. But he really cares the most about his meme account (brainrot enjoyer)

He gets tattoos/piercings instead of therapy (has a belly button ring he adores btw and very much cares about his ear setup. He is still planning it meticulously)

There is 100% a cringy tattoo somewhere dumb he got either drunk or on a bet. Ima headcanoning he has a tattoo of a bee on his knee (genuinely thinks this is a fire tat btw)

Y2K BADDIE. His style inspo is so “male lead and or comic relief in a 2000s romcom”. He’s so nostalgic for the 90s too (he gives me gen Z who clings so hard to being a 90s kid but was like. Born in 1999/1998 LOL)

Brown eyeliner enjoyer. He looks gorgeous.

Has a pinup poster of some girl in his room but it’s mainly just for the aesthetic (again. trying to be like dudes from the 90s/00s movies/TV shows).

Romantic

Okay. This may be against the grain idk but I don’t think he falls first. He just really really wants to be your friend and then it hits him that he has a crush and is like. Oh.

I think he’s a total dork. He’s not 100% inexperienced or whatever and he’s an attractive guy!! But like. His rizz is 0. He’s not the type to like smirk and be sexy he’s just a dork and tells jokes and is a total sweetheart.

Crushing Daisuke is like. Insane. He actually is kinda okay at hiding it but he SO easily gets embarrassed while trying to showcase how cool and confident he is. Like. He won’t try insanely hard before he’s breaking down in laughter BUT. YEAH.

He finds himself trying to learn guitar to impress you or get a new piercing or tattoo bc maybe you’ll think it’s cool then he’s like “oh I’m cooked.” (Verbatim)

Calls you dude/bro/etc regardless of your gender or relationship status. You will be married and he’s like “hey dude”. 💀

He also likes calling you bae/babe (EWWWW *twirls my hair*) and POOKIE LMFAOOOO. calls you baefy too esp if it annoys you.

It’s his earnest attitude that is the hottest thing about him though. His attraction to you is so genuine. When he says he loves you, he means it. ITS SO…YEAH. There’s no doubt about it and the LOOK IN HIS EYES…MY GOOOOOD HES IN LOOOOVE. You are the best thing to him.

It’s really important to him you have a close relationship with his parents. Like, don’t worry it’s not difficult. They may be a little ehhhh at first (I don’t think Daisuke’s judgement is 100% great w romantic partners) but once they see you two interacting it CLICKS. You become a part of the family. You’re always invited to bday parties and dinners and cookouts and everything (his mom is so cool and you guys mix drinks together and his dad has a green egg or blacktop he’s so proud of and teaches you how to use it)

Sends you tiktoks as a means of affection. Like. Your notifs are clogged and it’s because he just has so much to show you (THERES SO MANY ROMANCE ONES MAN then it’ll be like the most brainrot shit you’ve ever seen)

PHYSICAL AFFECTION IS HIS LOVE LANGUAGE OH MY GOD.

Literallt he’s to kiss you every time he sees you or he’s gonna go crazy. He’ll pepper your face in kisses. He can’t resist you’re just SOOOO cute he loves you.

He holds you like a teddy bear when you guys cuddle. If you have your head on his chest you can hear his heart just SLAMMING against his chest and he tries so hard to play it cool but he’s just too full of love.

But he also loves resting on your chest or thighs. Bro falls asleep on you a LOT.

He plays with your hands and fingers. I like to think he does this when you speak to him and then he starts wondering what your index finger would look like with a pretty engagement ring and fantasizes about proposing and a wedding and then you say something and he snaps back into reality.

Passes the orange test or whatever the fuck that is his parents always cut fruit for him so he does the same to you. Will just cut up and apple and be like “hey do you want some?”

I think what he appreciates the most in return from you is verbal praise/reaffirmation. He trusts you so much to be honest with him and values your opinions a lot SO. When you tell him you like him and that he’s handsome and stuff he can let out a sigh of relief bc he actually believes you. You help build up his self confidence. ❤️

@mochiiniko (tagging bc I answered ur ask!)

[therealslimshakespeare]

Hi! I’m an environmental eng girly myself so I’m sort of very interested in this (and also a new reader so please bear with me if I’m lacking on some knowledge here). The 1950s were just generally a very interesting time for women in stem/ engineering but obviously not great for equality still. For example, since you mentioned that Lu is from Texas, in the 1950s there were roughly 700 engineers working with the Highway Dpt of Texas and only THREE were women. So I’m curious, how does Lu handle/ cope with being in a field that would have her be surrounded entirely by men? She would very likely be the only women in most of her classes and professional endeavours. And I know you mentioned that when she works on that Twisters inspired Tornado project with those military boys, all of them love and adore her which I LOVE! Because she’s so smart and such a genius so it makes my heart really happy to see that that allows her to command respect 🥰 But in college, how does she manage being in a space with all these guys who might not all respect her (god like uni eng guys are a special brand of asshole, I’m not saying all of them but some…). Because I’m being so real- that is still an issue in engineering and still something that my girl friends and I have experienced/ felt 😅 And then also with environmental engineering specifically a lot of the work is sort of… rural and isolated. Like you won’t be working in a big crowded space a lot of the time. And being with all those guys, (also like… again, college guys are just a special brand of asshole? I feel like every girl would be out of her comfort zone if she were to be around only them, even now) is that something that induces anxiety for her? Does she ever worry that “putting herself in that position” is inviting anything similar to the horrific violence she’s already gone through? And then on the fluffier side, HOW does she persevere?! Because again we know she wasn’t doing well? I get the vibes from the asks that she was genuinely very depressed and not at all in a good place. So I’m just so intrigued by this era of hers. Anyways this is sooo long and convoluted feel free to ignore it haha. It’s just something that is so interesting to me I love this woman in stem so much 🥰 But yeah I’m interested in her college days and how she handles her horrible mental health, a very very shitty boyfriend and THIS on top of it all.

Oh and to add, we know that Ida worries for her often (along with the rest of the trinity), is she ever concerned about Lu being in those sorts of situations? Because Ida has so much complex trauma of her own (remember in Hardwoods how she has that thought that being alone with men is courting violence!!!!!!!!!!!) and she had to SEE Lu being assaulted? Just wondering because I love these two. And the rest of the trinity I guess. I know my parents would be🤧

Aaaaah see now you’re educating me about the Texan engineering!!! Omg that’s so cool. I knew it had to be slim pickings but goodness, three? Yeah, wow, ok then Lu, ya got your work cut out for you. Also, Nonnie, you’re so cool, I feel special for you gracing my inbox 🥰

Oh yes, just from acquaintance I am somewhat familiar with the engineer bro vibe, ha. Having come from the army has to help her a little. So far in the story we’ve focused on all the boys who love and take care of the girls as integrated into themselves, but you know there were the assholes in the 100th about it and you KNOW there were absolute pigs in the stalag, too. So it’s not a fully new issue. But, somehow this is even more secluded, likely? So, it’s intense.

I think she’s already very withdrawn during this era so she’s not trying to make friends with them all, if they’re assholes she does her best to keep her head down and then enjoys smoking them at tests or in the field. If they wanna play a practical joke to sabotage her?!- oh well, they shouldn’t have picked on Bucky Egan’s daughter. But omg, for all these women there’s the question of if they’re inviting that violence again by pursuing these careers and that’s so horrible to even be considered but it’s so real!!! My girl has her brass knuckles though, the (pretty worthless social friends from Spencer’s crowd) and a will of iron. This is the field she wants to work in, she always did and she happened to go to kindergarten in war for it but by god she’s gonna keep at it through college.

Also. Not wanting to fail. I think depressed and miserable as she might’ve been, failing (she’s so like Gale lemme go scream) would be worse than anything that could happen to her while she was trying. She’s so dogged about it, and this is something of her own, it’s not her crew and it’s not her squadron, it’s her. She’s doing this, and she might as well not get up again if she fails, I think is her attitude…when she’s so down, ya know?

Ida…for a long time Ida lives in a world where everyone could potentially be awful. She can’t contextualize it well. It takes a massive toll on her mental and bodily health, that constant alertness and suspicion and stress. Being in Germany likely only exacerbates that, tbh. Nice thought Rosie but, she’s having some severe ptsd just living amongst the language every day. 😭

[dr-spectre]

So.... This game is 2 years old now huh?

Honestly... I don't think i have a TON to say about this game. It's just a great ass fucking video game that has given me a lot of fun and great memories!

This game came out during my final year of school, which is kinda funny considering that Splatoon 3 acts like a "finale" to a trilogy. It's interesting how those kinds of things work out eh? Splatoon 2 came out at the start of my secondary education, and Splatoon 3 came out at the tail end of my final year.

I remember thinking before the game came out, "why do we need a Splatoon 3? This is pointless, it's just more Splatoon 2." And then my mind was quickly changed once i got to play the Splatfest test fire and the actual game itself.....

I completed ROTM in such a short amount of time and i documented my reactions to my friends. Although i was spoiled in that Deep Cut had boss fights and Mr. Grizz was the final boss, ROTM still gave me a giant smile to my face all the way through. It was so fun, so charming and just a really good single player experience.

One of the things that i LOVE about Splatoon 3 is the vibe. I just love the location of Splatsville, i love the aesthetics, the lighting, the model improvements from Splatoon 2, the music, it's my favourite art style/aesthetic out of any of the Splatoon games by far. It just feels so polished, i don't know how to exactly describe it.

Also the fact that this game won best multiplayer game of 2022 over CALL OF DUTY! OVERWATCH 2 AND MULTIVERSUS MAKES ME SO GIDDY AND HAPPY!

PEOPLE GOT MAD ABOUT THIS AND THAT MAKES ME WANNA EVIL LAUGH! All of those fucking depressed and sad Call of Duty players who whine and complain about how "wahh modern gaming sucks!! There's no good games anymore wahhh!! It's all microtransactions wahhh!!" BITCH! SPLATOON 3 IS LITERALLY THE GAME YOU'VE BEEN ASKING FOR!! Yet you won't play it because it's on Nintendo huh? Yeah... You're a fucking PUSSY!! YOU'RE WEAK!! You're SCARED to be seen as less of a manly man!! You only wanna play games with oily dirty buff men.... Yet you call others who play games like Splatoon gay? Hmm..... Sounds like you're a wittle insecureeeeee!!!!

Have fun rotting in microtransaction hell you LOSERS!! GAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways.... uh.... sorry....

I also fucking love Deep Cut too. I thought i wasn't gonna like these guys and i remember thinking when i first saw them "oh... okayyyy..."

But now? I love these bastards.

I love their dynamic and how they are bandits but they actually wanna help the people back in Splatsville. That is such a cool and unique take to have for Idol characters. The Squid Sisters are very cutesy and so are Off the Hook, but Deep Cut aren't. They are loud, messy, chaotic, in your face, rude, etc. They are about contrast and the character designers did a phenomenal job at conveying that theme via their backgrounds and looks.

Another thing that i love about Splatoon 3 is that it also acts as a celebration of things that have come before, Inkopolis Plaza and Square return as hubs, old colour combos from previous games act as loading screens, most of the music returns in the jukebox, it rewards long time fans for sticking around and for a long running franchise IT'S SUPER IMPORTANT to have that stuff!!!

Seeing the improvements in the model quality from Splatoon 1 to 3 genuinely makes me kinda emotional, it shows how far we've come in just a little under 10 years...

It really homes in on the point that... These characters, have grown up with us.... The Squid Sisters are about to reach their mid 20s, Pearl is nearly 30 fucking years old!!!

And the last thing i wanna bring up before i talk about the Grand Fest...

...Is Side Order.

This fucking DLC... My god... Being able to experience it by myself and just enjoy the stuff i was seeing, being able to SCREAM AND CRY AS MUCH I WANT WAS SO IMPORTANT TO ME DUDE!

When i got to the 10th floor in the tutorial and i saw Marina Agitando staring me down.... I did the loudest gasp a human could possibly do and my jaw was hung to the floor for a solid MINUTE!

Marina's first fucking dev diary made me cry and scream, THAT IS NOT A JOKE!!!! THESE CHARACTERS ARE THAT IMPORTANT TO ME!

And the final boss.... Made me cry, it broke me down, i was singing along to Ebb and Flow as best as i could, it felt like i was brought back to 2018, being in my room, listening to that song on repeat... I feel like a kid again....

I love this song... i love it so much... Like it's not the most hype finale song ever, but, the emotion behind it, the build up from Splatoon 2... The power this song has in it's meaning... It's some good shit man...

So yeah! I love Splatoon 3!!! It's my favourite game out of the series and anyone who is gonna jump into this game now is gonna have a LOT to chew on.

And... It's both sweet and sad that we're at the end. This is it... The moment we've been waiting for. The final Splatfest to end them all. The event 9 years in the making.

The Grand Festival...

I am extremely excited and so FUCKING NERVOUS for this Splatfest!!!! I know i am going to cry and be so overwhelmed with joy. Seeing the Squid Sisters and Off the Hook perform their old songs again after all of these years is gonna make me sob so loudly it's not even funny.

These characters genuinely mean the world to me and it's gonna be so fucking hard for me to watch their final major appearance and say goodbye. Cause after this, we don't know what's gonna happen. I know they will come back, they have to but... In what capacity? That's what I'm scared about...

So yeah, let's savior this moment when it eventually arrives, take all the time you need to be engulfed in the Grand Fest.

Thank you Splatoon 3, you have given me so much.... It's not time to say goodbye just yet but, i wanna watch you as you walk into the sunset with your head held high....

[blueteller]

TCF Theory: What If God of Death Had a Reason for Kidnapping Minors?

(Hey, @murasaki-cha, I might have a theory that could sorta maybe redeem your pathetic little meow meow! 😂)

[Also: SPOILER WARNING for... basically everything in TCF?]

So, here's the thing:

It's no secret I always had… issues with the God of Death for kidnapping the Chois.

Let me clarify a bit.

What he did to Kim Rok Soo, aka. Cale, was not okay either – however! I can see it justified somewhat by circumstances: he was cursed, his life was generally depressing and terrible, and there was a world in need of saving. Honestly, the deal with the Original Cale Henituse to switch the two of them was best for all parties involved. (I'm still angry he did not ask Cale himself for permission, though! All the God of Death needed to do was tell him: "Look, this is the world where your BFF Lee Soo Hyuk reincarnated into. And the world is going to be destroyed in about 20 years if nothing is done about it. Would you mind cleaning that up for me?" You bet your butt Cale would have agreed fair and square, even if he were EXTREMELY miffed about the deal. But it's so much easier to simply hide your involvement in the transmigration, so that Cale doesn't have a personal vendetta against you once he gets OP, right…? Not that it succeeded, lol. Cale still ended up cursing the God of Death a lot)

However – all of what I just said? NONE of it applied for the Choi family member.

First, we have Choi Jung Gun, aka. Nelan Barrow. Let me remind you, the kid was FIFTEEN. Freaking 15!!!! The God of Death kidnapped a literal CHILD with no combat experience, and dropped him in the middle of an active war zone! Sure, technically Super Rock was there and presumably took care of him – but still, that was an objectively a terrible thing to do, God of Death! Bad boy!! 🧹🧹🧹

Then we have Choi Han, and ohhh boy, he had even worse somehow! Even though he was 2 years older than Choi Jung Gun when he got transported, he still ended up in the freaking FOREST OF DARKNESS. Weaponless, isolated, under constant threat of death. It's a miracle Choi Han did not die or completely lose his mind – and in a sense he did – but he was still able to retain a piece of himself, NO THANKS TO YOU GOD OF DEATH. My goodness! What a way to treat your "chosen hero ", mister!

...as you can probably tell, I was pissed enough at the God of Death for kidnapping poor Choi Jung Gun, but I am NEVER forgiving him for what Choi Han went thought. Should have given him something! A letter, a sword, or at the very least – A FREAKING MAP!!!

Aaaand finally we have Choi Jung Soo. Which was a bizarre case in comparison to the previous two. Even the God of Death remarked how unusual it was.

First of all, consent was asked – WHAT A TWIST! 🤣

Secondly, Choi Jung Soo was already an adult, and experienced fighter. He'd have a much better time in Nameless 1 world than any of his predecessors (excluding the fact that he'd have a TERRIBLE time trying to fight the White Star; who may I remind you possessed Kim Rok Soo's face... Also, did he even get to read "The Birth of a Hero"...?). He was also on the verge of death. AND he allowed to say no!! It was much more fair than what happened to the other two.

...But why though? Why the special treatment, God of Death? Why not kidnap Choi Jung Soo as a kid as well? The timing was kind of strange.

So here my theory comes in.

What if, it wasn't the God of Death who determined the timing of the transportation? What if there was an outside factor involved? Just because there seemingly wasn't a strict pattern to WHEN the Chois got transported, that doesn't mean there couldn't be one.

An outside factor like, let's say.... the Hunters? 🤔

From his behaviour in the Sloth Test, we know that Choi Jung Gun absolutely hates the Hunters. And it seemed very personal too. Even if we take it for granted that the Hunters were responsible for the existence of the Original White Star and the war and all that... It was still VERY personal. Like, "I will tear you to bloody pieces with my bare hands and chew on them with my teeth" level of personal. So, what gives?

Then it hit me.

The Five Colored Bloods Hunters are Wanderers who can freely travel across dimensions. They targeted young Kim Rok Soo, because he had a "mark" of the God of Death on. They assumed it could be a sign of a Single Lifer, and it did not matter to them if it necessary to kill him just to "check". The only reason why Kim Rok Soo survived was because Choi Jung Gun was there (even though I have issues about his execution – using a minor as BAIT?! Not cool man! Almost as bad as the God of Death!). Without him, young Kim Rok Soo absolutely would have been killed. And the way Choi Jung Gun was acting in the Sloth Test made it seem like it wasn't the first time something like this happened either.

Meaning: the Hunters were already on Earth 1. They have been there.

So, what if... the Hunters had already targeted the Chois in the past? Including Choi Jung Gun himself?

Think about it. If the Hunters had any clue that this particular lineage could produce Single Lifers... they'd certainly keep an eye on the Choi family, right? There would be no need to directly interfere. Just, watching them from the sidelines and let them produce next generations. Spying on their kids – like the total creeps they are.

And perhaps, there was a particular sign of a potential Single Lifer to watch out for, that could manifest around adolescence? What if Choi Jung Gun showed such a sign at the age of 15?

Instead of simply using him as a weapon to save another world... was the God of Death actually trying to save Choi Jung Gun? By transporting him into another dimension??

It would... kinda make sense, right? By transporting Choi Jung Gun, his "Single Lifer power" activated. His lifespan became much longer, he developed an Ancient Power too. He was initially weak, but he grew stronger overtime. Strong enough to stand up to the Hunters and protect himself; and also taking him away from their immediate reach.

...What if the same happened with Choi Han? What if Choi Han became a target at the age of 17? And the only way to save him was to transport him as well? I mean it worked with Choi Jung Gun, why not try it a second time? If the first one became a powerful ally who could fight the Hunters, the God of Death would certainly like another one on his payroll, right?

And then there's Choi Jung Soo, of course. Maybe he escaped the scrutiny of the Hunters? Or maybe because he developed powers which made him a harder target? Why would the Hunters bother with difficult opponents when they can always play dirty and go after literal children, instead? There is also the issue of the Monster Apocalypse, as Cale suspects the Hunters were behind it as well. Maybe the Hunters had a different plan for Earth 1, and so they had to stop using it as hunting grounds for Single Lifers?

If I'm right about this, then the God of Death's actions became a liiiiitle bit more understandable.

I will forever criticize the man for not asking at least three of his victims (and don't try to give me some bull about him being "unable to", God of Death used various means to communicate through the story; Choi Jung Gun even freaking wrote "The Birth of a Hero" books for the sole purpose of giving necessary exposition to a transmigrator – more than that, if he had enough space to simp for Whales and provide Harol's backstory for no reason! He could have included ANY type of message in there, to ANYONE!), but if Choi Jung Gun were to literally die if he did not get kidnapped and transported into a war-torn dimension in need of saving... Well? Saving someone's life via transmigration might be unconventional, but I've seen it happen a lot in many isekai. I can roll with this.

...But seriously tho, I hope Choi Jung Gun makes that broom beating a regular thing. The God of Death certainly can use it. You know – for emotional intelligence improvement! 😏

[underoossss]

the way you move- s.h -part 2

pairing: jock!steve harrington x ballerina!reader

1.9k words

warnings: language

an: part two of this best friends to lovers story, I hope you guys enjoy these smaller chapters instead of a big story with a lot of cuts. we have some jealous steve because that's always fun and some revelations. let me know what you think!

part 1

✰✰✰✰✰✰

“Stevie!”

Steve’s head whips to the right at the sound of your voice. Warm up had just ended and his teammates were on a water break after finishing all the drills he planned for today. A smile appears on his face as he lifts his hand up in greeting, putting his water bottle down and walking towards you. You look devastatingly pretty, with your hair already up and away from your face for your practice in an hour. Your backpack and duffel bag are slung over your shoulders while you hold your coat and a hoodie in the crook of your arm.

Dark blue long-sleeved leotard and black sweatpants are your outfit for the day –Steve knows you’ll wear the baby blue chiffon skirt today. He might even linger for the beginning of your practice just to see how pretty the colour looks on you. Madame Laverne will try to kick him out, but Steve can be pretty convincing.

“Hey babe, how did your test go?” Steve asks, leaning close to kiss your forehead in lieu of a greeting, he’s too sweaty to hug you but god knows he’ll take any excuse to be close to you.

“Aced it, I’m sure.” You smile brightly enough to knock the wind out of him, self satisfaction clear in your face. “I have Algebra tomorrow and I’m done. Mind if I hang out here?”

Steve rolls his eyes fondly; you always ask, and he always says yes. When has he ever said no to you? “When have I ever said no to you?”

You pretend to think just to tease him before laughing to yourself. “Thanks Stevie, I won’t bother you I promise.”

“You’re not a bother, come on let me help you with that.” Steve takes your bags and sets them on the bleachers you always occupy when you watch basketball practice. “I’ll walk you to class after, okay?” Fuck, he’s whipped.

“Okay.” You smile, that soft smile of yours and sit down, lighting up his body from the inside. “Good luck!”

I’ll need it. Steve thinks on the way back to his teammates. With you sitting so pretty over there he’s bound to be distracted, and he can’t have that.

“I see your girl’s come to see you practice.” Jacob Nully teases as soon as he’s back, and Steve rolls his eyes. “Honestly Harrington when are you going to ask her out?”

“We’re just friends.” Steve says shaking his head –Nully’s always rubbing salt in the wound.

“Please, you know how depressing it is to watch you pine after her for years?” Jacob fake gags. “It’s the only reason why no one’s asked her out you know. We know she’s your girl.”

“She’s n–” Steve begins to say only to be cut off.

“Speak for yourself.” Brad Connors, another teammate speaks out. “If Harrington doesn’t ask her, I might.”

“Shut it Connors.” Steve snaps, clenching his fists instantly like his body’s determined to fight for you.

Brad’s following laugh echoes around the gymnasium. “See, maybe jealousy will get him to ask her out. Better hurry though, Captain.”

With a shove to Steve’s shoulder Connors moves to center court and waves at you. You seem confused for a moment before you wave back, hesitantly. Fucking Connors. Steve would ask you out, he wants nothing more than to ask you out but he’s not sure if you feel that way about him too. You are best friends; you’re the most wonderful person Steve’s met, his best girl. What would happen if he asked you out and you reject him, where would that leave your friendship?

Steve’s mind can’t think of anything else even as he plays and shouts at his teammates. The same question circling his mind in a loop, his brain thinking really hard about your feelings. The two of you are attached at the hip, you do everything together and Steve knows the two of you are happiest when you do. There’s also the fact that you don’t date anyone, ever since you met Steve, despite there being more than a few attempts from people you go to university with. It always makes Steve’s blood boil, how they approach you and try to give the same compliment he gives all the time. It might be his fault though, for selfishly sending deadly looks their way the minute the show interest. But no, at the end of the day it’s your decision and you always say no to any of the guys that try to ask you out.

Then there’s those soft looks Steve’s always in the receiving end of, the way your eyebrows relax and smile does that thing that makes his heart skip. He knows you don’t look at anybody else like that and selfishly he begins to wonder if maybe his feelings have been reciprocated all along.

Your cheer can be heard around the gym when Steve scores a three pointer, which makes him look your way. It turns out, the hoodie you carried earlier and are now wearing is his. He’d been looking for it for a week and all this time you’ve had it. For anyone not playing, the bleachers can get cold during winter, and of course you had to shrug it on while he plays. Because you being there isn’t a distraction enough. No, you have to wear his clothes and look good in it; the oversized fit makes you look cozy and frankly adorable, and Steve knows Harrington is displayed across your back. It makes his heart jump to his throat. Steve smiles though, winking as a thank you for your ever present support. Your returning smile softens even more while your eyes flicker with more affection than usual, and Steve might be wrong after all. What if you feel the same way he does?

He's everything you want. The ache within your chest worsens every time you look at him because Steve during practice is lethally hot. If he’s handsomeness and charm outside the court, in it he’s passion, strength and hotness all in one. You can’t focus on Algebra, and selfishly knew so when you decided to visit Steve today. You can’t go away though, you’ve never been able to, so you brave the cold gym with his hoodie and watch the team play.  Anything to see him wear those dark grey shorts that make you feel things you probably shouldn’t.

Steve’s team for the day wins thanks to his last three-pointer, a beautiful finish for the practice. You can’t help but cheer, and it’s worth it to see the way he smiles and winks at you. Selfishly you want him for yourself, then you’d be free to run towards him and kiss him to show him just how proud of him you are. How can you not be when you’ve seen how much he’s improved since he decided to join the team. His athleticism and discipline helping the team so much he was voted captain last term. If you could confess all of this to him in a kiss and show everyone he’s yours, you would. You don’t though, and only smile feeling your guard fall in a moment, affection clear as day for anyone to see. It only last a second before you remember to shake yourself out of your daze.

Having given up on your test for the day, you snuggle into Steve’s hoodie and watch the end of the practice. Enjoying the way Steve pushes his hair back or pulls the hem of his t-shirt towards his face. Your insides flip and you look away when you feel your body burn, but you’re spared any more torment when within seconds the coaches dismiss the team.

“You didn’t study,” Steve says as he approaches you, a towel around his neck and bag over his right shoulder. His eyes are a soft thing with more warmth than usual; different but you don’t know what.

“It was a fun game.” You shrug, putting your book inside your bag and closing it. “I’ll be fine. I can study some more after class.”

That makes Steve’s gaze move towards his watch and furrow his brows. “Let me change and I’ll walk you, okay?”

You smile and shake your head, you love him more than you can comprehend sometimes. “Stevie you don’t have to.”

Steve’s hand moves towards your face, holding your cheek briefly. “I want to.” He murmurs, thumb caressing the apple of your cheek before his touch disappears. “Five minutes. I’ll be right back.”

You can do nothing else but nod, face burning where the ghost of his touch still lingers. Steve is different, not in a bad way but different enough from an hour ago that you can definitely notice. His eyes kept gazing into yours like he wanted to figure something out and tell you something at the same time. There’s there’s the way he’d lingered like he didn’t really want to part from you. There’s no more time time wonder what’s going on because true to his word Steve is back five minutes later, in his burgundy sweater, black coat and backback thrown over his shoulder.

“Come on babe, you’ll be late to class.” He smiles, taking your duffel bag before throwing his arm around your shoulder.

The smell of soap and a hint of cologne floods your system with warmth and you can’t help leaning closer to Steve, your temple resting against his jaw as you walk. “Thanks Stevie.” You murmur, shivering lightly when the weather outside bites at your skin. “For always walking me to class.”

“You know I love to do it.” Steve’s smile is clear as day in his tone, and its followed by a kiss to your temple. “You think Madame Laverne will let me watch you warm up today?”

His question makes you laugh and shake your head. “You know how she is, I think you can imagine the answer to that.”

“But if I hide behind the curtains…” Steve proposes, seeking only to make you laugh again and succeeding.

“I fear for your well-being if you try to pull that off, Stevie.” You look up at him and smile, having reached the ballet studio. “Maybe when we begin practicing at the theatre, you can sneak in.”

“Oh I just might.” His smile is pure mischief as he whispers, face closer to you than before. Beautiful brown eyes meet yours and linger longer than ever before. Not that you mind. Not that you’ve ever minded. You would gaze into his eyes any chance you got if it wouldn’t make things weird between you. This is the first time Steve’s done it, though, and you wonder briefly if maybe he’s doing it for the same reason you do.

Your thoughts are interrupted however, by a honk on the other end of the street. The two of you jump apart and smile bashfully. What’s happening? Could your wishes be coming true at long last?

“I’ll be here when you’re done.” Steve hands you your duffel bag and smiles before kissing your cheek just like he did the other day. “Good luck.”

“Thank you, Stevie.” You smile softly and hug him goodbye. “See you later.”

The two of you linger a moment longer on the sidewalk before heading in different directions. Steve towards the library, and you inside the studio. Hearts pounding, in fear, in love, in determination. What if? You wonder all throughout practice, even as your feet hurt and more blisters appear. What if we both feel the same way?

✰✰✰✰✰✰

part 3

motivate an unmotivated writer, reblogs are appreciated ❤︎

masterlist

[lee-laurent]

The Past - John Marino

Summary: The timeline of John and Tori's relationship

notes: This is like a prequel to 'Done Trying!' You don't have to read this part, but it gives background on John and Tori's relationship. How they got to where they are in the fic now. The part after this will be a continuation of 'Done Trying' so look for that in the next few days. Also, I do not want to hear any negative criticism about how I've written her depression. I have depression myself and this is how it manifests for me. It's different for everyone, so I don't want to see any hate. Your experience may be different than mine, but every mental health experience is valid.

content: angst, fluff, unplanned pregnancy, break ups, anxiety issues, arguments, birth (not super graphic), mentions of sex but no actual smut, depressive episode, body image issues, mentions of abortion

2019

Tori wasn't drunk by any means, just a bit tipsy. Her fake ID had worked and she was enjoying her night out with her friends. The bar wasn't particularly busy, but the girls were managing to make it feel like a party.

The group of girls all turned to look at the door as a group of rowdy men entered. They were all cheering loudly and patting each other on the back.

"Was there a hockey game tonight?" one of Tori's friends asked.

"I think so," she shrugged, downing the rest of her rum and coke. "I'm going to get another one."

"We'll be here!" one of the other girls giggled.

"Hi, could I have another rum and coke, please?" she grinned at the bartender.

"Sure thing," the man returned with the drink a few minutes later, placing it in front of her, "That'll be 6 dollars."

She reached into her back pocket, when a voice beside her stopped her, "I've got it."

She turned, looking at the man next to her. He was significantly taller than her five foot frame, with tan skin and unruly, dark curls he brushed from his eyes.

"Oh! Thank you," she grinned, taking her drink from the counter.

"I'm John."

"Tori."

"You come here often? Sorry, I know that's cliche as fuck."

"Ha! No worries, my friends and I come here some weeks. It seems your group of friends is making it a bit more lively."

"Hope we're not interrupting your night."

"Not at all. We were the only ones making noise before you guys showed up. You from around here?"

"I'm from Massachusetts. But I moved here for work. You?"

"Pittsburgh born and raised," she smiled, raising her glass up before taking a sip.

The couple continued talking for the rest of the night. Tori wasn't the hookup type though, so instead of going home with him, she gave him her number. Leading to a long line of dates, until he finally asked her out officially.

2020

The world had locked down. No more hockey. No more school. No more work. Tori had subsequently moved into John's apartment so that they would be able to spend time together during the pandemic.

"What're you making?" John asked, wrapping his arms around Tori's waist, tucking his face in the crook of her neck.

"Oatmeal cookies."

"Smells good, baby."

"How was your nap?"

"Relaxing. Would've been better if you were there."

"You know naps make me feel like shit."

"I know... but the bed feels so empty without you."

"God, you're cheesy," she grinned, lifting her hand up to run through his mop of curls. "You want me to trim these?"

"Mmm, not today. I like them long. Why? Do you not like them?"

"I love your curls, Johnny. So sexy."

He grinned, pressing a kiss to her neck.

"I'm going to play 'chel with the boys. Call if you need anything."

She nodded, turning back to rolling the cookie dough into perfect balls. She'd taken up baking during the lockdown. John kept telling her he was going to be out of shape for the next season if she kept it up, but he continued to taste test everything for her nonetheless.

Another month into the lockdown and Tori wasn't herself. She wouldn't leave bed, she was taking naps, and John could barely get her to eat. She claimed she was fine, but he didn't believe her in the slightest.

"Come on, baby. I made mac and cheese, your favourite," he tempted, sitting on the bed and running a hand through her matted hair.

"Not hungry."

"You've gotta be hungry. You haven't eaten since yesterday morning. And all you had then was a couple crackers."

"I'm not hungry. Let me sleep."

"You've been sleeping all day. Can you get up and take a shower for me?"

"Too tired."

"Tori, baby..."

She just rolled over, hiding her face in the duvet. He sighed, leaving the bedroom and going to eat the food he'd made... why let it go to waste.

"How's Victoria doing, love?" John's mom asked through the phone, worry lacing her voice.

"I can't get her to do anything except sleep. I'm trying, Mom. She just..."

"Do you know if she has a history of depressive episodes?"

"Yeah, one when she was in high school. But she said she learned skills to cope."

"Just be there for her, John. That's all I can suggest."

"Thanks, Mom."

Two hours later, Tori emerged from the bedroom. She was wearing the same clothes she had been for days and her hair desperately needed a wash to rid it of grease.

"Hi, baby," John smiled softly.

"Hi. Will you come take a shower with me?" she whispered.

"Sure, but first can you just eat a few bites of the food I made?"

"I... I don't know."

"Please, Tori. Just so I know you're eating."

"Okay."

She sat on his lap, picking at the bowl of pasta in front of them.

"Five bites and we can take a shower."

"Okay."

It took her 20 minutes to take those five bites, but she did it. The couple stood under the hot water of the shower, embracing the time together outside of their room. John helped her wash her hair and brush out all the knots. She forgot how nice it felt to feel clean. She turned in his arms, squishing her face into his torso.

"I've got you, baby. I've always got you. I love you so much."

"I'm sorry, John," she sobbed, "I've been a terrible girlfriend."

"Shh, no you haven't. You're just struggling right now. It's okay. We'll get through his together."

"I love you. I'm sorry."

"No need to be sorry. I just want what's best for you. And rotting in bed isn't."

She leaned up and pressed a soft, loving kiss against his lips. When she went in for another one, he turned his head, her lips landing on his cheek.

"Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry," she cried again.

"No, no. I just... I'd feel like I was taking advantage of you. I love you so much, but I can't... do anything until you're yourself again. Okay?"

"Okay."

The next day, John helped Tori find a therapist online. Even going as far as to join sessions to learn how he could help her to help herself.

2021

Now that lockdown restrictions had been lifted slightly, Tori was thriving. She was going on daily walks and working on new coping skills to use when she felt that numbness creeping back in.

John was back to playing hockey and finally their lives had back some normalcy. A normalcy that had formed itself into a very... intimate love life for the two. There didn't seem to be a day that the two weren't having sex. Tori was pretty sure roadies were the only days they weren't falling asleep naked.

It was amazing, until it all came crashing down at the end of December. Tori had been feeling like shit for almost a week now. She felt sluggish and the sent of John before he showered after practice had her sick to her stomach. The idea of being pregnant though wasn't even a thought that crossed her mind. She had an IUD. They were safe. Surely it couldn't be...

"Do you want me to pick up a test, just in case? I know you said it's like almost impossible," John asked as he walked to his car at the arena.

"Sure, if it'll make you feel better. Pick up two, just in case one is faulty."

"Sounds good, babe. Be home in 20. Love you."

"Love you too, Johnny."

The couple stood in the bathroom, re-reading the instructions for the tests.

"I think it's self explanatory, John."

"I just want to make sure you're doing it right!" he swatted her hand away as she tried to grab the paper from him.

"Whatever," she rolled her eyes, sitting on the toilet with the stick.

"Yeah, just piss on it. Then we've gotta wait 5 minutes."

"Sounds good. You stayin' in here while I pee?" she giggled.

"I'll be right outside."

Peeing on the test was harder than she thought. It was like she couldn't get herself to pee, she was so nervous. After a couple minutes though, she'd put the caps back on and placed them on the counter.

"Come in, John. But I'm telling you, I'm not pregnant. Trusty old IUD keeps your sperm outta there."

"Maybe I've got really persistant sperm."

"I-" the timer rang. "You ready?"

"Yep."

At the same time, they flipped the tests, the plastic clattering against the sink as Tori dropped it.

"They- They must be faulty. False positive, right? Right, John?"

"I- is that a common occurance? I'll google it," he typed on his phone quickly, spelling half the words wrong, "There's less than a 1% chance of that, Tori."

"So? Maybe we're in that percentage. Did you even get good ones?"

"They were the most expensive ones! I just grabbed them!"

"They're wrong."

"Victoria..."

"Don't 'Victoria' me! They're wrong! I'm not pregnant! It's just a cold."

John rolled his eyes, "Can you at least go to the doctor? Get meds for your cold then."

"Fine! I'll make an appointment right now!"

"Perfect. I'm going to make dinner."

"I'm not pregnant," she whispered to herself as she typed in the number for her doctor.

"Is there any chance you're pregnant?" the doctor asked, staring into Tori's eyes.

"I have an IUD."

"I've seen it happen. Would you mind giving us a urine sample?"

Yay. Peeing into more things.

It didn't take long for the results to come back. The doctor entered the room holding a stack of paperwork.

"So, the urine sample came back positive for high levels of hCG. Which means you are pregnant."

"That's not possible."

"I know this is probably a lot to take in right now. I've written down some suggestions for a few OBs I reccomend. As well as some supplements we reccomend for the early stages of pregnancy. From the test, I'd say you're about three weeks."

"Shit. Um, sorry. Thank you. I'll, uh, call these numbers," Tori forced a smile, rushing off to get home.

"So? You are pregnant?" John asked, his eyebrow quirked.

"Yes. I just-"

"Okay."

"Okay? That's all you have to say?"

"What do you want me to say, Tori? 'Yay! I'm so excited to be a dad at 24!' Cause that'd be a lie."

"Stop acting like this is all my fault!"

"I never said that! I just... we've never even talked about having kids! This is all very sudden."

"How do you think I feel?! I'm the pregnant one! Now I have to tell all my friends and family that I got knocked up at 22!" she threw her purse down on the counter.

"You told me the IUD would work fine."

"Why are you blaming me? God, John! Grow up!"

"I should grow up?! You're the one yelling at me!"

"You're fucking infuriating!" she shouted, stomping off to their room. The door shut with a harsh slam, making the pictures on the wall swing.

"Fuck me," John muttered, grasping at his hair.

John slept on the couch that night, not wanting to deal with being yelled at again.

"We should talk about this, Tori," he offered at breakfast.

"Why? I'll just get the pregnancy terminated. You don't it."

"Tori... can we think about this? Make a rational decision."

"Why? Is getting an abortion not rational?"

"Not what I said. I just think you're still angry about yesterday, so you're not think rationally. We need to make a decision together here."

She rolled her eyes, "You made it clear how you feel."

"Did I?"

"Yeah, I think your words were 'I'm not excited to be a dad at 24!' So, there's our answer. You won't have to be," she sassed.

"Victoria, sit down."

"You're not my fucking dad."

"Stop acting like a child! Sit down!"

John rarely yelled at Tori, so the tone of his voice had her sitting right back down.

"Thank you. Listen, I'm not thrilled to be a dad right now, but I'm not telling you to end the pregnancy. I- we can make this work. I want you to make the final decision, but I won't be leaving if you decide this is what we're doing. I love you. And I support whatever decision you make. I will love that baby unconditionally."

"I... I need time to think about everything," she nodded, her lips pursed.

"I understand. But I really don't want to continue this arguing. I want us to enjoy our trip to Massachusetts. Not dwell on this and see our family."

"Okay, I have another appointment in January. You can come... if you'd like. I don't want to tell our families yet."

"Of course... I love you."

She sighed, "I love you too. No more fighting?"

"No more fighting," he nodded.

2022

Tori knew that nobody in the waiting area was judging her, but she felt judged. Her leg was bouncing, her nerves getting the best of her. She was filling out the paperwork that they'd given her. John placed a comforting hand on her thigh, trying to calm her.

"They're removing the IUD today. I don't know if you wanna be in there when they do it."

"I'll stay for moral support."

"Are you sure?"

"Why not," he shrugged.

Tori opened her mouth to respond when her name was called.

"Is your boyfriend coming with us today?" the nurse smiled.

"Yes, if that's okay."

"No problem! The doctor will be right in. We're going to start with the IUD removal. So if you could just strip from the waist down, she can get started."

"Do you want me to turn around?" John asked, taking a seat on the chair in the corner.

"No? Nothing you haven't seen before."

She sat down, throwing the sheet they'd.given her over her legs.

"Nervous?"

"A bit. It hurt to get in. People say it's worse coming out."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Want me to hold your hand?"

"That'd be nice," she smiled.

There was a knock at the door, "We all ready in here?"

"Yep. Come in."

"Hi, Victoria! I'm Dr. Reese. It's nice to meet you!"

"Hi. This is my boyfriend, John."

"Nice to meet you as well! We're going to start with the IUD removal, then we can start chatting about baby. Sound good?"

"Yeah. Is it okay if John holds my hand?"

"Of course! Alright, scooch, scooch. Perfect. Take a deep breath for me."

Tori inhaled, squeezing John's hand. Her eyes screwed shut. A pained breath escaped her mouth. Even John squinted, watching as the doctor pulled on the little strings.

"And done!"

"Thank God," Tori whispered.

"I'll step out! You can throw your clothes back on and I'll be back in a minute with the ultrasound machine."

"You ready?" Tori asked John, buttoning up her jeans.

"Yeah," he shrugged, sitting back down.

John and Tori had discussed things the day before. They were keeping the baby. It was an emotional discussion. Talking about the logisitcs of the whole thing. Especially with her still in school and John playing hockey.

"Ready to see baby?" the doctor smiled brightly.

"Yeah."

"Mhm."

"Alright. I warmed up the gel, it shouldn't be too bad," Dr. Reese moved the wand over Tori's lower abdomen. "And here is baby."

It looked like a little blob, but it still made John's eyes water.

"So, you're about 6 weeks. Measurements look good. I'll want to see you again around 18-20 weeks. You can schedule that on your way out. Congratulations, again."

"You alright, babe?" Tori asked, noticing how quiet John had gotten.

"Hm, yeah. I just... I didn't think I'd be this emotional. Especially over what looks like an alien."

Tori laughed, "Don't call our baby an alien!"

"I'm sorry," he giggled, wiping his eyes, "But it does look a little like an alien."

"Okay... maybe just a little."

The couple left the doctors' office laughing quietly to themselves, their hands intertwined.

Six Months Pregnant - May 2022

It was three in the morning and Tori was sobbing, "You don't understand, John. We're out of pickles."

"I heard you. I just... I don't understand why you're crying."

"I need pickles, John," she cried.

"I- I don't know where to get you pickles at 3am. Everything is closed."

Tori pulled herself out of bed, storming into the kitchen. She dug through the fridge and freezer, trying to find anything that would help her cravings. She pulled a bowl of watermelon out of the fridge, digging in.

John sluggishly joined her in the kitchen, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'll get you pickles in the morning."

She just nodded, taking another forkful of melon. It wasn't as fulfilling was a jar of mini dill pickles, but it was helping. She couldn't even count how many jars of pickles she'd gone through during her pregnancy, but this was the first time they'd been out. It felt like the end of the world to her pregnancy hormones.

John loved Tori to bits, but the emotional rollercoaster of pregnancy was beginning to make him tired. He knew it wasn't fair and that she was going through much more, but lord was he exhausted.

"Do you want me to stay here? Or should I go back to bed?"

She shrugged, shovelling more food into her mouth. John sighed, coming around the counter. He placed a hand on her waist and one on her growing stomach.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Do you want to go back to bed?"

She hummed, taking one last bite. They shuffled back to the bedroom, Tori hugging onto her pregnancy pillow. John fucking hated the thing, but Tori couldn't sleep without it, so... he'd deal with it for the next three months.

August 2022

John had just been traded from Pittsburgh to New Jersey and now... it was time for their baby to enter the world.

"Ah!" Tori gripped her stomach. She was walking around the hospital room, waiting to be fully dilated. John was being supportive as possible, getting her more ice chips when requested and holding her hand when ever she felt a contraction. "Is it time yet?"

"The nurse said it could be a while, because it's your first."

"It's going to be our only. Holy shit! Why did you do this to me?"

John laughed, "I'm sorry, baby. You're the strongest woman I know. You've got this. Do you want to use the yoga ball again?"

"No! I just want the baby out of me!"

"And they said that the yoga ball will help that."

"Fine," she groaned, squatting down on the blue yoga ball. John smiled, watching as she bounced up and down, her cup of ice chips in her hand.

"They'll be back with the epidural soon. Then it'll be smooth sailing," he comforted.

10 hours later and she was finally pushing. She was squeezing John's hand so tight he thought it might break. But he tried to be supportive nonetheless.

"One more big push, Mama," the doctor smiled.

"I can't do it."

"You've got this, Tori," John whispered.

"I can't do it."

"Just one more push and our baby is here, love."

She braced, feeling the pressure one last time. She pushed and a wail filled the room.

"And here's baby boy."

"It's a boy?" John was smiling so wide, it hurt his cheeks.

"It is. Want to come cut the cord, Dad?"

He nodded excitedly, watching as they gave his son his first bath.

"Here you go, Mama," they placed the baby on her chest.

"Hi, baby," she was too tired to cry, but her son was so beautiful. He had a head of dark hair which explained the heartburn she'd had during the pregnancy.

"We'll be back in a bit to help you get him to latch. And then they'll be in with the name paperwork."

"Here," John smiled, unbuttoning part of her gown so she could do skin to skin.

"Riley."

"Hm?"

"Riley Alexander Marino."

"It's perfect, baby. Here, I'll hold him. You get some rest."

December 2022

Things were falling apart. The couple was arguing almost every day. Tori was struggling. She hated the way she looked and that feeling of numbness was starting to creep back in. But she wouldn't allow it, she needed to be there for Riley.

John was going through the hockey season and adjusting to a new team. He was barely home. And when he was, he was beyond tired. Not being much help at all. Night shifts were nonexisitant. It was always Tori getting up to get their son. John either "slept through it" or "was too tired from hockey."

Everything came crumbling down a week before Christmas.

"You're not any fucking help! Ever!" Tori yelled, throwing the burp cloth down on the counter. "I haven't left the apartment in days! I haven't been able to take a shower in days! All I do is take care of Riley!"

"Your his mom! Did you think you wouldn't have to take care of him?!"

"God! That's not what I meant and you KNOW it! Your his dad! When are you going to step up and actually do some fucking work?"

"I'm providing for us, Victoria! Would you rather I quit and we have no income?!"

"That's it. I'm leaving!"

"You're leaving?! Where are you going?"

"Anywhere that you aren't, John. I can't fucking deal with you right now. Call me when you've grown the fuck up and decide you actually want anything to do with your son," she stormed off to the bedroom, throwing things into a duffle bag.

"Victoria! You can't just leave! Talk to me!"

"I can leave! I can do whatever the fuck I want!"

"You- you can't just leave with Riley!"

"Sure, I can! Not like you parent him at all!"

"Victoria!"

"No! Fuck off!"

The screaming woke Riley from his nap and his wails soon filled the apartment as well.

"Great! Look what you've done!" John threw his hands up in frustration.

"What I did? You're so fucking immature. Stop acting like you're 12 and start acting like the 25-year-old you are!" Tori went to the nursery, grabbing some of Riley's things and putting them in the bag as well. She picked up her son, strapping him into his carrier. John was standing in the door, shell-shocked.

"Please, Tori. Just think about this. Please."

"No. I'll be back for more of our things in a couple days," she shook her head, leaving John all alone in the apartment.

March 2023

It was official. John and Victoria were done. Tori had gotten her own place and Riley went to see John every weekend. Slowly but surely, John and Tori were forming a friendship. They wanted things between them to be good for Riley.

And this friendship leads us to where we are now...

[acethetically-bway]

i think we need to spend a minute, or several, talking about the al-anon questionnaire that fiona canonically got a “perfect score” on (TWs for alcoholism/self harm):

imagine little fiona realizing frank loves alcohol more than her and her siblings for the first time and carrying that with her all the way until season 9 when she takes this test 😭 also makes me think of her giving him the ultimatum as his liver is failing and realizing that if he is gonna stop (which he’s not, but regardless), he’s not gonna do it for her. it honestly hurts more to think of the fact that she took this test years AFTER giving him that ultimatum and making that realization, meaning that she *still* deep down, at almost 30 years old, thinks he’d stop if he really loved her.

i can also just picture her heart sinking when she sticks her little kid nose just a bit too close to frank and the strong smell of booze just radiates off of him and makes her nostrils burn. also holy shit #9 (and others on this list too tbh) has me thinking about the wifeification of fiona and how she has to be the one to placate frank and walk around eggshells with him, otherwise he’ll go off the rails and hurt her (or worse, her siblings). because they’re just kids and they’ll say shit without knowing any better, and by that point it’s too late. imagine fiona coaching the others on how to act when frank’s around, telling them exactly what to avoid saying so they don’t set him off and incur his drunken wrath. her letting frank steal their money because it’s better to just give him what he wants and get him out of their hair than to challenge him (until she and her brothers are physically strong enough to fight back.)

PLEASE AGH IF FRANK WASNT AN ALCOHOLIC FIONA WOULD’VE HAD A NORMAL CHILDHOOD WITH A PRESENT AND LOVING FATHER!! she wouldn’t have had to be a mom to her siblings, she wouldn’t have to worry about money constantly bc frank would be there to hold down a stable 9-5 job, she wouldn’t have such a fucked up view of love/men in general (“i can handle men trying to fuck me, i’ve been doing it since i was nine”), and she might not have gone to jail or become an alcoholic herself. she could’ve gone off to college on a track scholarship and made something of herself. and if she had just been better at controlling frank and been good enough for him to love and stay sober for at the age of NINE then none of this bullshit would��ve happened. oh this is my final straw istg.

there’s a story behind #18 i can FEEL IT oh god it makes me wonder if she ever actually made those types of threats *to* frank or if she just kinda intrusively fantasized about it. like “if he saw me bleeding out or sick or on the brink of death, would he still choose drinking over me?” and #19 genuinely i wanna know the details, like she obviously has anger issues but confused and depressed?? perhaps a shift from one to the other over time, like as a kid her predominant state was one of confusion and then as a teenager it turned to depression and it’s now just festering as this lingering resentment and bitterness because of the walls she’s built up and how she’s so stuck in her current life. she’s so independent but also so dependent on her siblings for a purpose and even on frank, because the course of her day/week/life depends on his behaviors (if he needs their money, if he’s exploiting the younger kids, if his actions/crimes put her or her family in danger).

[yallemagne]

Fucking stupid notes app lost all my notes on this season I’m going to burn Apple to the ground. 

Episode 1 &2: The Phalanx Covenant

Chuck is so fuckin’ obsessed with fixing Sabretooth that the Phalanx saw that and impersonated Sabretooth to trigger the man’s saviour complex oh my god. 

Warlock!!! I love Warlock!!

Sinister: "THEY TOOK MY RESEARCH!! MY MUTANT TEST SUBJECTS!! MY SAMPLES!!" Beast: "Sinister, people are dying." Sinister: "ALL MY NOTES ON MORPH!!!" Beast: "You're making it so hard not to throw you to the Phalanx."

"Your friends cost me an arm and a leg." Who the fuck are you??

They visit Muir Island and NO ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF MORPH?? Bullshit.

(I'm headcanoning that Morph and Proteus ditched the island to get burgers and avoided getting assimilated. Because they're my silly little pumpkins, that's why.)

Every time Sinister shows up on screen I get angry iopjgerjio and he's here the whole time. The only positive contribution he's had to the mission was throwing Moira off the plane, lol.

Magneto's grown a beard in the interim to communicate he's lost to depression. Saying fuck it to existence until they tell him the Phalanx got Pietro awww.

"Did you lose your humanity when you were assimilated by the Phalanx?" lol yeah. "Or did you have any to begin with?" oh lol you right you right.

They need to stop doing this shit to Wolverine. My poor boy and his metal bones.

I love that Cyclops is so trigger-happy. He does not tolerate Sinister's presence one bit. "Including Sinister! WHERE IS HE?!” With Sinister in the back, skittering away like a fucking roach.

Episode 3 & 4: Storm Front

I hate this creep. Keep your hands off her, Arkon, put a damn shirt on.

Storm: “That cube is causing the bad weather just get rid of it.” Arkon: “NO! I need it.” Wow, wonder who the obvious villain is. They had to take so many braincells from Storm to force this romance. 

EDIT EDIT! I forgot this bullet point! One of the extras is voiced by Morph's voice actor, I can tell from the screams. Morph cameo!

Episode 5: The Fifth Horseman

I hate this new animation style. I was less harsh on it in my previous writeup, but like nah, this style sucks. They yassified Beast, he just has a dude’s face, I hate it. And they gave Jubilee a new haircut and I highly suspect the reasoning is that they didn't think she looked Girl enough.

Cortez shows up and I hate him! Big shocker. 

This episode wasn’t very good. 

Episode 6: Jubilee’s Fairytale Theatre

Jubilee is so responsible!!! Such a good older sibling-type. Also I love how everyone is reinterpreted in her story, it’s funny. Like Gambit’s accent is ten times thicker. 

Longshot cameo! And? Jubilee's foster parents?

There was a rat?? That turned into a guy?? Morph?? We never see them again so I have no clue, but I’m just gonna say Morph cameo. 

Oh no Magneto kinda slays.

The repeated line of Jubilee being able to get out of tight spots is a bit overdone… and then MAGNETO says it and we’re so back bc that’s so fucking funny.

Episode 7: Old Soldiers

You’re never gonna get me on board, show. I’m never gonna believe that Wolverine didn’t have bone claws. It’s stupider if he didn’t have the bone claws. 

(I have been informed that the bone claws are a retcon. Most based retcon ever because, what, you're telling me that just happened on accident?? bc the adamantium claws certainly weren't by design in the show, they were just like "huh, that's weird, didn't expect that". Like what, was Logan just reminiscing in the tube, thinking "if only I had those knuckle knives from that one mission" and fucking manifested claws to break out??? anyway)

Happy that this episode didn’t end with Wolverine swapping spit with that woman. They’re finally showing restraint. But maybe it should have ended with him swapping spit with the Cap. Just saying.

Episode 8: Hidden Agendas

Again: the new art style and designs are objectively worse, the anatomy is all over the place, Sam looks BIZARRE and I know that wasn’t the intent. Like he's not supposed to look like an alien but he does.

ROGUE CALLING HERSELF LEBEAU!!! "I'm taking a vacation from you." *cosplays as his wife* C'mon now, Rogue, make it official.

Love that Sam DIDN’T fall for the shitty creep claiming the X-Men are terrorists, AND he broke out before they could get him with sleeping gas. Dodging shitty clichés left and right.

Episode 9: Descent

Essex: "Would you say humans have escaped the influence of natural selection? And that we as humans should seize our fate and pursue the next stage in evolution?" Darwin: "That's not at all what I'm saying. That sounds very stupid. Next question."

I'm a bit disappointed... So doing research for my fic (yes I'm self-promoting, I'm a whore), I found that Rebecca was the one to call Essex "sinister" after finding out about his experiments... Here it's just kinda said off-hand by Dr. Xavier. It takes the power from the title.

Episode 10: Graduation Day

I really don't get Gyrich's bullshit here. "You defend mutants... YOU must be a mutant!!" Uh yeah, dude. Duh. If they're trying to establish that Charles has been a closeted mutant this whole time, they did a poor job, because nothing in previous episodes ever implied that he was hiding his mutation. I'm choosing to just interpret this as Gyrich being impossibly dumb, thinking he's worked out some mutant conspiracy, meanwhile, he's the last one to come across this very public knowledge about the Professor.

MOOOOORPH!!!!

Logan telling Scott to tell Jean what to do... dog, no one likes a chauvinist.

"Hey, it's a big island, bub. What, are you on the yearbook staff or something?"

"After what they did to Xavier, why do you still fight me?" << revealing his motivation

"Wait, I just realized something. How much do you love Charles Xavier?" "How dare you ask me such a question? He was my only equal. I owe him my life." "What would you do if you knew you were the only one on Earth who could save his life?" "DO NOT PLAY GAMES WITH ME!"

"Wouldn't he do it for you?" YOOOO "Though beware... If he should pass away while connected to you the psychic stress may destroy you, as well." YOOOOOOOOO

"Hello, Magnus. Surely, you have more pressing business to attend to than nursing an old friend." "Nothing more important."

Folks I am EATING this episode. Picture me at dinner with my mother frantically explaining to her that they invented gay marriage. And divorce.

"Morph, it's nice to see you home." YESS IT IS.

Xavier's speech to everyone on the team :,0 watch how hard I can cry.

"Were I your father, I would tell you that no truer son could ever be." Watch tears shoot from my eyes with the destructive power of Scott's eye blasts.

Honestly... so this is a plot twist for me, that they always knew Xavier was alive... I feel a little cheated?? It does ruin the impact of the goodbyes at least a little. If Lilandra had saved Xavier's life in secret or if it was uncertain that the Shi'ar could save him, so there's some plausible deniability, that would make more sense to me. Why do they treat it like he actually died in '97? Why do they enact his will? Couldn't they just say "screw off Magneto, you know Charles isn't actually dead, also you're a fucking criminal, so there's that"?

Season 1

Season 2

Season 3

Season 4

So that's over, huh? I guess y'all'll see me when I watch some other X-Men show. The only issue is that my enjoyment will be severely impaired by Morph not appearing.

[lillypad910]

It’ll Get Better

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Cheerleader!f! Reader

Word Count: 3717

Warnings: cussing, talk of sex, but no smut, breakup, depression, talk of suicide (and almost doing it), teen pregnancy, forced abortion, abusive relationships, tones of healing.

Summary: You are Andy’s girlfriend, friends with Jason and Chrissy and the rest of the popular kids of Hawkins High School, but your life flips upside down when you find out your pregnant. After a harsh breakup with your boyfriend and being discarded by all your friends, you find yourself at the Sattler Quarry, standing on the edge of the rocky cliff, will you jump? Or will a certain freak save you from your dark space?

A/n: Sorry for the long pause in posting! I’ve been working on this for a could days now, but it’s been a slow rolling with writer’s block and school work (I’m in a summer class this month and it’s been kicking my butt a little harder this week). Please enjoy!

You sat at the lunch table, your arms crossed as you listen to Chrissy tell everyone about her exciting date with Jason. “He took me to dinner at Enzo’s, then out to a movie, THEN we went to the lake for a light night dance! Isn’t that so romantic?” She chirps, practically glowing with joy. “Yeah, Chrissy, that’s lovely!” One of the other girls smile.

You stay silent, glancing over at the end of the table where Jason and your boyfriend, Andy, were practically slapping each other for fun. You love Andy, you really do, but god was he a bad boyfriend. All he ever does for you is take you out to dinner before dragging you out to the lake to fuck you in his car. “(Y/n),” Chrissy’s sing-song voice calls you back, “how are things with Andy?” Every fellow cheerleader looks at you and you smile. “Good…! We actually just went out last night too.” You immediately regret mentioning it. “Oh? What did you two do?” All the girls you call friends hold their heads up by their palms after sitting their elbows on the table. “Uh…” you hesitate, the still red handprint on your thigh just covered by your skirt as you pull it down lower. “We ate and then also went to the lake…”

Chrissy smiles, “how sweet!” And just then Eddie Munson decides to jump on top of his table. He talks about how everyone is annoying, besides his table, honestly you really weren’t paying attention, you could care less about what the freaks do. “You want something, Freak?” Jason stands up, going over to get closer to him, Andy following him.

The whole dilemma is squished quickly, with a teacher calling them all to relax. When the bell rings you walk up to your boyfriend, smiling at him. “Hey, you ok? Don’t let that freak get to you.” You place your hand on his chest and he groans. “He just pisses me off.” Lucas glances away nervously. “I know, Babe, but you need to control your anger more.” You remind him. He sighs and wraps his arms around you, “You’re so pretty.” He smashes his lips to your and you giggle.

You sit on your bathroom floor a week later, tears streaming down your face as you chunk the positive test across your floor. It had to be a faulty test, there was no way. Sure you weren’t on birth control because you couldn’t tell your mom you were sexually active, but he takes precautions. He… oh god, the lake.

How the hell are you gonna tell your basketball jock of a boyfriend that you’re pregnant? His entire career would go down the drain, hell his life.

You pick yourself up off the floor, shaking so bad your legs start hurting when you stand up completely. You feel like you’re gonna faint or throw up. Maybe both? You couldn’t tell anymore. Your stomach was tossing and turning, as you stepped closer and closer to the phone on your dresser. Dialing his number, you hold your breath.

“Hello?” His groggy voice echos out of the speaker. “Andy…?” You call out, still extremely nervous. “(Y/n)?” He groans, “Babe, what ever it is it can wait until tomorrow? I’m too tired tonight, ok? Bye.” He hangs up on you before you can get a second word out. You sigh, “Love you too…”

You place your phone down and turn towards your dresser, panning the pictures of the basketball team, some of you and the rest of the cheer squad. You all look so happy. One image catches your eye, Andy and you at a ballgame. He’d thrown the winning shot that Friday, and after cheering with the boys you ran up to him, so proud of him. He was so happy.

The memory calms your nerves. You could tell him, you knew you could. He’d probably panic, but he wouldn’t just drop you, right?

You sit on the floor of the gym the next day, your short cheer skirt barely covering your ass as you sit on your knees. The basketball team scurries across the gym floor, dribbling the ball between the teams, the ball flying through the air. You watch Andy carefully, nervous to tell him later after the game.

The game was won by Hawkins High, and your entire friend group decides to go out to dinner to Benny’s. Standing out in the cold with Andy next to you, hugging his jacket around himself, you huddle closer for warmth. “Hey, Andy?” You get his attention, “what?” You feel your nervous coming back, that aching feeling in your stomach. “Can… can we talk for a minute before the others get here…?” He looks at you confused.

You both move to the side of his car, “Im gonna say this and I don’t want you to freak out, ok?” You tell him. He raises a brow at you, “freak out? Babe, come on, I’m Andy.” He pulls you closer by the waist and you smile softly to yourself. “I know but…” you hesitate, pressing your palms against his chest. Your fingers grip around his basketball jersey under his letterman. “Andy,” you take in a deep breath, “I’m pregnant.” You don’t look at him, keeping your head lowered at you wait for his reaction.

A scoff leaves him, his arms dropping from your waist. “This is a joke right? You’re fucking with me.” His voice is colder than normal, hurtful, spiteful. “What? No, Andy,” you look up at him, “Why would I joke about this? I’m serious.” You frown at him, upset that he thought you would joke about something so serious. He shoves you away and you stumble back a little shocked by his sudden change in care. “Who did you fuck? Are you fucking kidding me? You fucking cheated on me?” “What?! No!! Andy,” you reach back out to him but he slaps your hand away, “I didn’t cheat, Andy, it’s yours.” You tell him, your eyes watering as your emotions get the better of you. He glares at you. “Bullshit.” You scoff, “Andy, why the hell would I cheat on you? I love you.” You try to tell him, tears now pouring down your face. Andy glares at you. “Well thats a problem.” You freeze, your heart suddenly stops as your breath hitches. “What…?”

Andy scoffs, “Come on, (y/n), you didn’t actually think I loved you, did you?” He laughs, a new smirk forming on his lips. But you just feel like your whole world is shattering around you. “What…?” Andy groans, rolling his eyes. “Of course no one would believe you cheated, shit. Why would you?” He smirks to himself, “I’m gonna be honest with you, at least this once.” He leans down a bit so he’s at your level. “I’ve cheated on you, with a couple of different girls. All on the cheer squad, all your friends.” Your breath hitches, fresh tears falling down your face. “But… but at the lake you… you said you loved me…” your voice is soft, hardly audible. He laughs at you.

Andy scoffs, “Come on, (y/n), you didn’t actually think I loved you, did you?” He laughs, a new smirk forming on his lips. But you just feel like your whole world is shattering around you. “What…?” Andy groans, rolling his eyes. “Of course no one would believe you cheated, shit. Why would you?” He smirks to himself, “I’m gonna be honest with you, at least this once.” He leans down a bit so he’s at your level. “I’ve cheated on you, with a couple of different girls. All on the cheer squad, all your friends.” Your breath hitches, fresh tears falling down your face. “But… but at the lake you… you said you loved me…” your voice is soft, hardly audible. He laughs at you.

“I lied, (y/n). It’s easy to do it to get what you want, even when I guess the girl is stupid enough to get herself knocked up from it.” You sniffle rubbing your palms over your eyes to get rid of your tears. “But… it takes two…” you mumble. He breaths in harshly, “No. It takes one girl being stupid by being active without being on birth control.” He glares at you. “It’s your own fault, Babe. Not mine.” He chuckles, “maybe if you weren’t such a whore this wouldn’t have happened.”

You stare at him in disbelief as the cars of your friends pull up. “You better leave.” His voice catches you off guard once more, “best tell them we ended it rather than let them know the truth huh?”

It’s been three weeks, you sit in the medical bed, your mother screaming at the gynecologists as they try to calm your mother down. “Ma’am, please. The operation was successful. There is no need to yell.” You mother’s face just gets more red. “No, the reason to yell was when my 17 year old daughter decided to have sex before getting on birth control!” Her head whips towards you but you don’t look at her, keeping your eyes looking out the window, your hand on your stomach. “Miss (l/n)?” A nurse smiles at you getting your attention. “Are you ok?” She asks. You expression is numb, your voice is monotoned, it worries them. “I’m fine.” You reply. “Mom, can we go home…?” You ask, your hand dropping into your lap. It’s not like it was rubbing anything anymore, anyway. As they said, it was successful.

You should be happy, thankful even. Your life isn’t uprooted or drastically changing. But it has, your friends don’t talk to you anymore, Andy made up some shit about you and now the entire team and cheer squad hates you. Chrissy wont even look at you.

It was just three weeks ago that your heart was shattered in that parking lot of Benny’s, two since your mother brought you in and you first saw that clump of cells in your belly on that monitor, and now today, when they showed you that screen again, now empty. You should be happy.

But you’re not. How could you be? You were thinking you would tell your boyfriend and somehow, some fucking miracle he would become that perfect boyfriend. He should have held you, told you everything was gonna be ok, that you would raise it together. But no. Here you are inside a planned parenthood nearly forty miles away from your home.

Your mother practically drags out to the front desk, her hand squeezing your wrist tightly. “Mom, please, you’re hurting me…” you tell her, trying to pull her clawed fingers off your wrist. “Oh I’m hurting you?” She signs the papers and drags you out to the car. “Ungrateful! Had the perfect boyfriend, perfect future husband and you wasted it away!” “Mom, I didn’t-” “Hah! When your father hears about this-” your eyes widen, “No, Mom, please! I’m sorry, just don’t tell Dad. It’s already taken care of we don’t need to get him involved!” You practically beg her, the fear of your dad making you grasp at her.

She told him.

You got home the next day from school and we’re greeted with a slap across the face. “You bitch!” Your dad yells at you, grabbing at your hair and pulling you outside, “You think that kind of behavior is acceptable in this house. Fucking hell no.” Your mother stands behind him, arms crossed. “Get the hell out!” He throws you back out the front door, “and don’t come back. You fucking filthy whore! Get out!”

You wandered the streets of Hawkins until you found yourself on the cliff of Stattler Quarry. As you stared down into the water bellow, maybe a couple hound red feet under you, you could practically taste the release. You step closer to the edge, your sadness being the most prominent thing in your brain. You wonder how deep it is down there, 20, maybe 30 feet?

You could do it. You could just walk off the edge, no one would miss you. Not your “friends,” not your mom nor your dad, Andy would probably joke about it at your funeral, if there even was one.

You wonder if it would hurt, if the slap of your body against the water’s surface would sting at all.

“Hey,” a voice calls out to you and you swiftly turn around. The one person you never expected to see stands there. Eddie Munson stands a good ten feet away from you, his hands out defensively. “Don’t come any closer!” You yell at him. “Don’t do it.” He tells you, his voice soft, “That’s a long drop, the collision would feel like your skin was being ripped off.” He takes a step closer and you heart races, setting father to the edge.

He glances around. “I’m telling you it’s not a good way to go. I know right now it probably looks promising, like a clean fresh start. But it’s like jumping straight into a bucket of ice.” He elaborates. You hesitate, “How do you know? You don’t get it!” Eddie takes a deep breath, taking a single step closer to you.

“I’ve dived into that water before, (l/n). Sure not the same circumstances, but I promise it hurt enough to make me never do it again.” He takes another step. “And what if I don’t care?” You ask him. He gives you a soft smile. “I heard you know, about what happened. Andy’s a dick, we all know it.” You let out a soft laugh, “He wasn’t always. That’s the point! He only became a dick to me after.” Eddie holds out his hand to you, which makes you step farther to the edge, so he recoils.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok. I know you’re scared. Everything feels really shitty right now, but,” Eddie stares at you as you turn to look away from him back over the cliff, “look at me, (y/n).” You look at him, your eyes wide with fear and he feels like his heart is breaking. No matter how cruel your friends were to him, he never thought you were a bad person. He’s not the type of person to wish death upon you because of your shitty friends. Hell especially not this way.

“Just…” he holds out his hand to you, slower this time not to startle you, “take my hand. We’ll get you down from there and we can go, I don’t know. Get a milkshake?” He chuckles softly and you eyes soften at the suggestion. “I can’t go back to school, Eddie.”

His eyes widen when you say his name. To be entirely honest, he had no idea you even knew his name.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to right away, but you will eventually. I know I’m not the best person to say this, but dropping out isn’t a great idea.” He chuckles lightly. For the first time in your life it wasn’t a chuckle you ignored, his words reach you now more than anything he’s ever said had before.

“Hey,” Eddie grabs your attention again, wiggling his fingers to bring your attention to his hand that’s still reaching out to you, “when you do decide to go back,” he smiles at you, “I’ll be right there with you, trust me they’ll pay more attention to the freak than an ex cheerleader.” You feel yourself laugh a bit, not because he said something funny, because what he said oddly gave you a sense of relief. Not because he was the ‘freak’ but because he said he would be there. You slowly reach out to his hand, going to step down from the rock you were standing on.

Just before you could grab him your foot slips. In those few seconds you realize you weren’t ready to die, your scream was probably heard miles out. But you never felt much air. Eddie had grabbed you so fast you didn’t even notice it, pulling you quickly away from the edge and against him, back on solid ground.

“Hey hey, it’s ok. I’ve got you.” He rubs his hand against the back of your hair, your sobs are muffled by his shirt as you cry, harder than you have ever cried before.

He stands there letting you cry it out against him, before pulling you even farther away from the edge, slowly getting you closer and closer to his van. “Here,” he opens the passenger side door and helps you inside, letting you get comfortable, or at least as comfortable as you could get with how tense you look. He buckled you in, pulling the seatbelt over your shoulder and lap, making sure it sits comfortably on you.

After getting into the drivers side he watches you carefully as you finally start to calm down, rubbing your eyes with your sleeves. He gives you a minute before holding out his hand to you. You look at him confused and he smiles. “I just… thought you would like to feel grounded.” He explains.

You lay your hand in his, your fingers locking perfectly together and you feel yourself smile. His hand is rough, something you didn’t notice before. You knew he played guitar, his band being talks about quite often amongst your group of ‘friends’ when making fun of him. You never realized until now how fucked up your friends were, how their idea of this guy was so misguided.

“Thanks…” your voice came out soft, and his hand squeezed your as he pulled out of the quarry, leading you both the an ice cream parlor for those promised milkshakes.

It had been a month since that faithful day, the day you realized the ‘freak’ was actually the nicest guy in all of Hawkins. He was calm, made sure you were comfortable, and didn’t bring up the subject ever again.

“Eds,” you had started calling him the nickname shortly after you moved in with him, his room becoming yours as he moved to the living room with his uncle. You were heavily against the idea of taking his room when he gave it to you. Obviously you could go home, but you were willing to sleep on the couch until you could get in contact with your aunt or cousins.

“Can we get some of these?” You hold up the container of Planter’s Cheez Balls. They were one of your newer favorite snacks. He laughs a bit, “sure, put ‘em in the cart.” You do so, throwing the snack in.

After finishing your grocery shopping, you make it back to his trailer, bringing all the bags in from his van. “Is Wayne working tonight?” You ask him, emptying out the bags on the counter before putting things away. “Yeah,” Eddie joins you, sitting the remaining bags down on the counter, “He said he’s gonna be at work until 7am tomorrow, so we need to figure out dinner on our own.” He helps you empty out the bags and put away all the groceries. When you finish, you both plop down on the couch, his arm behind your head as he turns on the tv. You pop open the container of cheese balls in your lap.

“Open up,” you hold a ball in between your index and thumb, turning towards him. He tilts his head back and opens his mouth, you throw, and the ball lands safely in his mouth, “good catch!” He smiles as you giggle happily continuing to eat your snack. He puts on a movie he knows you will like, before getting comfy into the couch cushions. You lean into him subconsciously. He stiffens up, shocked by you leaning in, which makes you freeze, “Sorry…” you go to pull away but his arm throws over your shoulders and holds you close to him. “Nothing to be sorry about, sweetheart.” He smiles at you, laying his head against yours. You smile as you both sit there on the couch, snuggled up together.

Eddie is very different than Andy was. Andy could be rude, refuse to cuddle you when you desperately wanted physical affection, but Eddie doesn’t. He leans into it, he may be a bit taken aback at first, but he doesn’t stop you, he encourages it.

About half way through the movie you catch yourself not watching anymore, glancing at the man you know would call your best friend, honestly he’s your only friend now. “Eddie,” you grab his attention, making him turn to you. “What’s up?” “Thank you.” He looks at you confused, “For what?” You smile at him. “Everything, you took me in, saved me from doing something stupid, told me everything was gonna be ok, and it has been, because you made it ok.”

Your words hit him hard, and he stares at you for a moment, “(y/n), I…” he hesitates, removing his arm from around you and turning so his full body is turned to you, making you a little anxious. “I don’t need a thank you, I did what any decent person would do. You don’t need to thank me for that.” “But I want to!” You practically yell at him, you hands balling up into fists and pressing against your chest. You know you look like a kid right now, but you don’t care. “I want to thank you…”

Eddie smiles and leans forward pressing his lips to your forehead, “Well then, you’re welcome. I’m glad you’re still with us, Sweetheart.” You blush at his physical affection, your cheeks burning as he pulls away, and you realize something. You like Eddie. You like him way more than you thought possible. “Eddie,”

He looks at you a little concerned seeing your scrunched forehead. “Yeah?” “I-I like you…” Eddie freezes, his heart racing as the words left your lips, those soft pink lips he’s been dreaming of kissing for the past few weeks.

Maybe it was the way you looked when he bought you that milkshake that day after he found you at the quarry, the soft smile you had as you excepted the treat. Maybe it’s the way you would jump up and down with joy when he bought you your favorite movie for you to watch together after a week of you living with him. Maybe it was the way you hugged him when you cried, remembering the fact that you weren’t alone anymore.

Maybe… maybe it was the way he wanted to be there for you for the rest of your life that makes him say his next words. “I love you…”

Your head tilted up, eyes wide when the words left him. “Y-You what…?” You eyes watering as you stare at him. “I love you, (y/n). I know you said you ‘like me’ but maybe given some more time-“ you cut him off, your lips smashing into his, practically falling on top of him. His arms throw around your waist, pulling you close to him as he kisses you back. It was everything you both had dreamt of, soft, sweet, and dreamy.

Tag List!

@cagethemunson @spikeybatt @cherrycolas-things

@r-a-d-i-0-n-0-w-h-e-r-e

[remscreams]

“why didn’t you say this to me when i was alive ?”

cw: university au, suguru x fem!reader, angst, mention of mental troubles, destructive behavior and death by su!cide.

IN WHICH… suguru vividly dreams of you, about all the things he should have told you when you were still beside him.

disclaimer: i am not romanticizing these topics and if you feel overwhelmed by the topic please do not interact with this post, i will make plenty of others but your safety comes first and it matters! also if you need to talk this or this can help! take care of yourself please!

SWEAT WAS pearling on his forehead, his expression looking hurtful even though he was asleep. He saw you again, your beautiful hair, your contagious smile that you used to hide all your sufferance.

HIS DREAM was horrifyingly vivid. You were seating on his huge bedroom, telling him how it sucks that it was so empty.

“Seriously, everything in your room is white. Looks like a hospital if you ask me,” you complained, chewing on some snacks he got for you both.

“Good thing i didn’t ask for y’r opinion smartass.”

SMARTASS USED to be how he called you, he was your academic rival and this time, you beat him on a test. Your rivalry wasn’t the toxic kind, it was more like a friendly one and you asked him to never pity you on it.

IF HE knew back then, that your scholarship depended on your results he would’ve let you have the first place. Yet you didn’t tell him anything and he found it out the hard way.

“Why did you hide your condition to me ?” He asked, untying his usual bun.

“What you mean ?” You smiled like you usually used to when a something that you wanted to hide got discovered, a nervous and static smile.

“The situation with your aunt.”

YOUR AUNT, or rather your father’s older sister adopted you when he died by a sudden heart attack. She didn’t loved you, neither did her husband who always had his disgusting eyes on you. But as she could not conceive kids, she was having you as her daughter.

THOUGHT YOU were only her daughter on other people’s watch. Inside of her house, you were treated more like a housekeeper than any other thing.

the smile falls down, your gaze slightly blurred by the tears forming. “Why would i tell that lame story of mine ?”

“Because i cared,” he says, holding an eye contact with you as his hands cupped your face. “I would’ve been here for you.”

YOUR SKIN under his hold was cold, and his hands were radiating warmth. Oh, how much would he give to the heavens to make this moment real.

HIS WISH was to hold you, to tell you that you weren’t alone, nor needed to be afraid. If only you told him, or if only he could have seen the distress signs coming from you, Suguru would have been there by your side.

“God, i feel so sorry…” he said, shaking his head, as his silky perfect hair were following the gesture.

“You don’t need to be sorry.”

HE PAINTED you in his dream, as someone who wouldn’t like pity. Because that would have been the only reason for you to hide all the shit that was in your life.

YOU WERE a star, too bright and you exploded, unable to keep it all together. Home wasn’t home, working for school was making you overworked, insomnia was getting the last tiny bits of your sanity and last but not least, depression that made you hit the deep dark.

“I love you. I love you so much and i never fucking had the courage to tell you this. I remember all the good times that we had, the silly dances, the before exams sessions, the competition between us, and all those times when we almost kissed.” Suguru rambled, overwhelmed by the thought of losing you once again as he felt himself regaining consciousness.

“Why didn’t you say that to me when i was alive ?”

THE ONLY question that kept wandering in his mind, as your image was fading away from his mind. And it was one of those days, when he could only listen to the last voicemail that you sent to him before letting yourself drown in the river of the town.

ONCE MORE, he thought about how he missed you. But it was also one more reason to fight for his life and success. So at least, you would be proud of him.

[georgies-ftts]

my thoughts and opinions on this weeks episode as someone who didn’t have time to watch last weeks episode, has never watched live american telly before and has discovered a new found hatred for your adverts. Also i swear a lot.

let’s begin

(spoilers obviously don’t be a knob)

1. he cannae be captain he’s only got two stripes on his epilette why are we focusing so much on this man

2. Bobby eyeing up that gun I like that (the acting)

3. this guy is giving me uncanny valley and i don’t like it

4. hehe dongle

5. i mean fair enough… in and out just like he said

6. Hen love of my life where the hell have you been loca

7. “and you won’t be anymore either” that’s actually dead funny to me

8. husbands that saw together survive trauma together <3

9. “everyone survived” i know foreshadowing when i see it

10. there’s a lot of drunk driver hatred (as deserved) somethings gonna occurr

11. oh he’s dead… lol karma fuckhead

12. Hen, i love you but why can noone on telly give me actual realistic CPR… break them ribs girl

13. christ these american adverts are weird

14. let me tell you advertising prescription medicine isn’t actually a normal thing to do

15. I don’t know boss man am no a dr but that’s an awful lot of blood are you sure you should still be breathing????

16. “Are you happy” “Yeah, Yeah I am” i have a feeling that’s all about to change buddy

17. just me or can anyone else not see a fucking thing that’s going on this episode why’s everyone in the dark for?

18. moving on from that i love the lighting in the office scene… chefs kiss

19. EXCUSE ME SHE WAS DOING HER JOB, NEXT YOU’LL SUSPEND HER FOR CODLING THE DRUNK DRIVER AND GIVING HIM TEA AND CHEEK KISSES PISS OFFFFF

20. Why do American comm’s systems always fail whenever you actually need them

21. They were axed to pieces. I will let you off -_- this time…

22. “I didn’t shoot him” honestly… same i hope you get yer pay out boss

23. Athena please for the love of god pop a paracetamol or a codeine and chill the fuck out

24. cause it has never been hard enough for them you just had to add a bastard bomb

25. ITS BEEN 5 MINUTES WHY MORE ADVERTS

26. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ADVERTISING TO YOUR CITIZENS

27. The Rookie ad i love it carry on

28. If he wasn’t under the influence then he was just being a cunt and hen had every right to react as such thankyou very much

29. Oh my fuck what is happening - don’t tear them apart i’ll start crying

30. Bitch you’re taking on water stop being a pussy and help

31. “Don’t test me.” Queen, you rag his arse

32. “port stabilisers are gone” surely you should be tilting like a bitch right now or did i miss a frame

33. MORE FUCKING ADVERTS????

34. why’s that lizard from london?

35. WHY ARE YOU ADVERTISING DEMENTIA MEDICATION THAT IS LITERALLY ADVERTISED ALSO AS A DEATH PILL WHAT DO YOU MEAN COMA AND DEATH THATS NOT HELPING

36. “i didn’t save him either” he quite literally refused your help despite being detained

37. didn’t get that SS Menow reference… try the Mayflower next time

38. “Saving the ship” “course she is” GIVE THEM ONE MOMENT OF PEACE PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU

39. okay good they are tilting like a bitch i will shut my mouth

40. NO STOP TILTING LIKE A BITCH I DONT CARE ABOUT REALISM I TAKE IT BACK NO

41. HOW MANY MORE ADVERTS DO YOU NEED

42. i don’t know but all your meds just seem to be doing the opposite of.. you know… keeping you alive.

43. woah therapy flash back get me one of those

44. you forgot to mention imminent death in your therapy session Mr Sir

45. “We did what we had to do” YOU’RE ALLOWED TO LIVE TOO.

46. “I couldn’t save my first family and I can’t save you either” and what if that was my last straw Robert Nash

47. ABC you can tone down the writing now i’m fucking sobbing

48. FUCK YOU AUSTRALIAN MAN I WAS CRYING MY EYES OUT

49. glad the us also have those Haribo ads

50. first time in my almost 20 years of life where i’ve seen an ADVERT for ANTIDEPRESSANTS that also actively make you MORE DEPRESSED

51. Hen i knew you were slaying you’ve never not slayed <3

52. no need for it was there mr boss man? no didn’t think so

53. You have no jurisdiction past the Gulf of Mexico??? ummmm??? distressed cruise ship full of your citizens???? idk??? do something????

54. oh. welp. no surviving that one, have fun with poseidon my loves

55. i don’t know about you but once i’ve been capsized like that in anything bigger than a kayak im giving up…

[chocochipbiscuit]

Hey, Choco,

So, um,

Behemoths?

Like, if you are inclined to write fo4?

This has been sitting in my inbox, shamefully languishing, because I just haven't had time to do it the justice I felt it deserved (and am still juggling multiple other WIPs) but I just decided: justice be damned! The only way to exorcise this yelling is to actually yell about it!

FIRST OF ALL. What makes a behemoth vs a regular mutant? Considering that we only see behemoths on the East Coast, we can take the Watsonian approach (we only see behemoths on the East Coast because they come from a different strain of FEV) or the Doylist approach (Bethesda just wanted us to have huge enemies for fun boss fights).

Obviously, I write fanfic, so I'm gonna run with the Watsonian approach. :P

Per official Fallout 3 game guide:

Another unique trait of the super mutants is that they grow larger as they grow older, and can range from eight (2.44 m) to at least twenty feet (6 m) in height; the largest are known as "behemoths." These behemoths seem to be even less intelligent than their smaller brethren, communicating only in echoing roars and blindly destroying everything in their path, acting more like an unfettered beast than a warrior.

Which seems pretty fucking depressing if you're a mutant who actually values your reason and ability to keep a handle on your rage! (Ex: Fawkes, Virgil.)

In fact, per this possible dialogue with Virgil:

The Sole Survivor: "Do you remember Edgar Swann?" Brian Virgil: "Swann? ...Yes, I saw his file. He was one of our first test subjects, years ago. His mutations destabilized. Started turning into a Behemoth. You think that could happen to me? Maybe I'm fine for a few months, a few years, but... god. I couldn't live like that."

Except...again, we have multiple in-universe exceptions to the 'always hostile, always stupid' mutants. We also can also read against the canon as presented to us and consider that since super mutants are capable of forming their own societies, including shared resources and responsibilities for caring for disabled members (such as the fact that Dead Eye gets back up from other mutants if attacked).

I think there is some argument to be made for whether it's socialization vs the type of FEV each mutant is infected with; Fawkes mentions that it took him years of isolation with his computer before he could speak and reason more intelligently, and Strong can grow (through friendship with the SoSu) from literally believing in the milk of human kindness to using idioms like 'got your back' when switching out between companions. Virgil is one of the 'newest' mutants we get to see, freshly turned, so he might be unique due to the FEV strain used or because he's so new to being a mutant.

Swan and Grun are the only named behemoths of FO4, IIRC, so let's take a look at Swan!

Swan was a former Institute employee turned into an experimental test subject as 'probation' for stealing cigarettes. (I can gnash my teeth about the Institute, criminal justice, and their incredibly shaky ethics later.) We can read journal entries and notes about his fear of what the FEV is doing to him, as well as his fears of being discarded as another failed subject. The fact that he devolves to the point where he can only shout his own name and still wears the swan paddleboats as memories of his former self is incredibly depressing and make him more sympathetic to me!

That said...I'm also thinking about one of Magnolia's songs. Specifically, from "Good Neighbor:"

Took a dive with the swans Out in the Commons with nothing on The mutants stopped to savor All my bad behavior It's all in a day's work When you're a good, good neighbor

HEY. HEY. MAGNOLIA. DID YOU FUCK SWAN? DID YOU FUCK SWAN??? I NEED TO FUCKING KNOW, MAGNOLIA!!!!

Especially because of her line: "It's all in the songs. Everything I am."

THERE IT IS, FOLKS. SHE FUCKED THE BEHEMOTH.

(/tongue in cheek)

Or rather, it's all fair game for fanfic. :P

All of that said, it's fucking ripe for fanfic. Does Virgil try to make amends for his past by developing other cures for FEV, including for Swan? Does Magnolia actually have an odd friendship with the behemoth at the bottom of the pond? Do we simply need a few more behemoths smashing around until some brave human or ghoul attempts the first overture of friendship?

YES. YES TO ALL OF THIS.

[weebsinstash]

ok across the spiderverse spoilers and tw for miscarriage stuff but, more idea bullshit let's go

yandere Miguel who lost his family and traveled to another universe to replace his wife and child 🤝 his new spider society obsession from another universe where you were Spiderwoman 2099 and you lost your fiance Miguel and had a miscarriage of your son Gabriel and tried to travel to another universe to replace them, and now you're both fucking emotionally damaged husks who stumble upon each other doing multiverse shit

Just a fucked up traumatized possessive genius control freak who wants his family back and has a desperate need to do good and save people x his equally as traumatized victim who never got to have her fairytale love and is exhausted from loss and being a hero, missing her lover and a baby she never got to meet, who is also so fucking burnt out and depressed she could legitimately just accept being kept prisoner because she's basically too tired to take care of herself or resist, just apathetic with the weight of it all

Like THE most toxic codependent ass relationship, "i want to take care of you vs i probably need someone to take care of me", where there's some sort of mutual affection but like he's Obviously So Fucking Bad For You but. You're getting attached to your captor now and when he cuddles you he smells like your former lover and you're just like a walking ghost and since you're an anomaly anchored to his universe anyways, and he's already had his canon event of losing his family and is in his own universe, surely, potentially, things would be ok if... he tried again, since its new events, new people, not changing anything, simply moving forward? Peter B was able to change his mind on his decision and have a kid safely, even though that was influenced by an anomaly, so, perhaps... test the theory?

Like imagine you're just like normal spidey coworkers for a little while after meeting during, anomaly bullshit, and if anything he's indifferent to you but, even though you force yourself to keep going and you do decent enough work Miguel can tell you're like, Still Going Through Some Shit, and when you eventually spill on what you went through, there's like, obviously the intimacy that you were married to one of him is obvious and he may even feel flustered right away, but also the elevated kinship in going through even more of the same similar things than just the typicals that all Spiders go through, not just losing an uncle or a captain, that you can relate to him so deeply on the loss of a partner and child, the pain of the Rapture addiction and his exsct backstory, the mistakes made in grief, that moment is when, you know, The Switch Is Flipped, and he's 2099% invested in your life and wellbeing from that moment forth (and yes I WILL keep using that percentage joke)

Also the more I read on his lore and facts about him the more I realize how absolutely terrifying he would be as an enemy or jailer/pursuer. He was genius enough to develop multiverse tech, he's inhumanly strong capable of lifting several tons, he shoots organic webs, he has claws to help him climb shit and also fight, his suit is capable of gliding and is extremely durable, he's got paralyzing venom, and I mean. He's 6'9" in the movie. I'm pretty sure he could just legitimately stalk up and stand really close to you physically towering over you with a vaguely threatening body posture as he looks down at you like he'll do something absolutely insane if you don't do what he says and that alone would be pretty effective in reigning you in besides physical forces or tech tricks. I feel like this man is the kind of guy where, yeah he wants to save people, he's still Spiderman, he's still a good guy and can still be funny and charming and care about people, but goddamn it if he hasnt been through so much shit and he's lost so much and he's doing everything to hold it all together so for the love of God don't fucking push him on the things he cares about or he blows up quickly because he just has so little mental and emotional energy left to still divide up between the 50 other things constantly occupying his mind

You go into his captivity you're basically never coming out as long as he still lives and breathes so you might as well let him take care of you like a good husband while you two "make preparations for a new family"

[chrimsss]

Tsukishima's Twin -

Note: this is a small idea I had with an amazing friend and decided to write a bit for fun. Some Headcanons are way too specifics-

Sorry for any grammar mistakes and hope whoever reads it, enjoys. Bye!

Pronouns: You

As twin, you both were inseparable during you childhood; Seen always with one another.

You’re Tsukishima Kei's Fraternal Twin, Tsukishima (Y/N). You’re 5 minutes younger than him, he always makes sure you remember it.

As kids, you both were somewhat unapproachable; While Kei was just introvert towards other kids, you were more shy than anything. You guys' unbothered and annoyed resting face was also a factor for it.

During Childhood, Kei had a growth spurt that surprised you, your older brother and your mother; But he only used to annoy you, saying he got all the "tall genes" in the family.

However, when you both hit your preadolescence, you hit your growth spurt, reaching at least Kei's neck, making you pretty tall in contrast to other kids, which was already an accomplishment in itself, but your twin still made sure to annoy you for being the shortest of the two.

You two somewhat always knew what the other wanted or was feeling; When you were feeling depressed for some reason, and didn't want to show it, Kei always knew. He would go to your room, bringing a plate of snacks and juice, just sitting besides you for when you were ready to talk.

This also goes for you; Whenever Kei was stressed because of Volleyball, you were quick to notice, you would go to his room and just cuddle with him. At first, he would try to fight you off, but it was futile, so he just accepted it.

You're the Emotional Intelligent one between the two, while he is the Academic Intelligent.

You both can be pretty snark whenever you want to; Kei has a tendency of being naturely sarcastic, while you were the sweeter one. However, you had your moments, for example: A girl, who wouldn't take a No for an answer, was constantly following your brother and trying to hit on him, you were quick to notice the situation and knew exactly what to do;

"It's a surprise to me someone like you is trying to hit on him."

"Excuse me?"

"OH you're excused! Now, if you don't leave my brother alone, I'll make sure the whole school knows about the desperate excuse of a person you are."

You might've gone a little overboard, but her walk of shame and your brother low laugh was enough for you.

Kei is a bit protective of you as well, he would always be wary of any boy that come closer to you, no matter the reason;

"He is not good for you."

"Kei, for the love of god, HE WAS HANDING THE TEST-"

"My point still stays."

You guys are pretty much Ying-Yang; The bad in good, You. The good in bad, Him.

Sometimes he can be utterly annoying to you, as well you can be utterly annoying to him, but internally, you both wouldn't want it any other way.

[monalovesstarsz]

Maybe we could

I'm super new to this so this and it's the first thing I've ever written (and it might horribly suck) so bear with me 😭 I'm doing this to keep me busyish and my grammar might also suck.. This is also probably not accurate and I had to make some stuff up

Genre: Non idol au and idk what else to say 😭

Pairings: Shy sick sunghoonxsick shy y/n (I clearly don't know how to do this)

Summary: Y/n starts to spend a lot of time in a hospital due to her health and its super lonely until she meets sunghoon and they agree to try their best to live as regular teens.

Warnings: uhh I'm not totally sure but illnesses, thoughts of death, hospitals, depression, mentions of death (probably)

Prologue:

Your leg starts bouncing up and down anxiously. You had told your mom that you weren't nervous but that had been a complete lie. How could you not have been? These results were going to affect the rest of your life. You could tell your mom was also nervous even though earlier she had told you everything was going to be fine and you had nothing to worry about. You turned to her and you gave her a painfully obvious fake smile. You looked down at the inside of your elbow noticing that your bruise hadn't faded. You had gotten it after you had your blood drawn to get it tested. That's why you were here to begin with. If this was like any other time they had drawn your blood you wouldn't be nervous, but it wasn't they would usually call you for your results or even a voicemail. They called you up here to give your results in person they never did that. Your deep in thought until they finally call you up. "Okay can I see Y/n l/n up next" You and your mom walked up to the nurse who gave you a friendly smile. It was warm and it has comforted you. You gave her one back trying to make it as sweet as possible. She walked you and your mom up into a room and as you stepped inside you got the same almost nostalgic feeling. Your doctor told you to come in and sit down in her office. She lead you to it and you sat down next to your mom in front of a work desk with a computer and lots of paper work scattered across it. On the other side your doctor sat down turning the computer on before typing on it.

"How have you guys been so far? How has your day been so far?" "We've been doing good so far, y/n doesn't leave the house a lot though which is quite odd of her."

Your mom answered for the both of you

"So how have you been feeling recently Y/n?"

you looked at your mom like you always did and she nodded for your to answer.

"I've felt the same. I still feel nauseous and dizzy most of the time. Recently I have been really tired too." "I see. I called you guys in because these symptoms can be quite scary but I'm happy to let you know that the results came back negative!"

You let out a sigh of relief and you smiled at her.

"Oh thank God she's alright." Said your mom after giving your hand a squeeze. You were happy no doubt but you still had a question.

"Why have I been feeling like this then?"

You asked, it was bugging you. Had this all just been an overreaction on your part? Was it just a bug? Had it been your imagination all along?

"Well sometimes we just feel like this because we might not be taking the best care of our bodies, this just might be a sign to tell you to drink more water and sleep more."

You were happy that it wasn't anything serious but now it was a bit embarrassing wasting people's time just because you hadn't slept or drank enough water. You decided to let it go as you got into your mom's car.

"Hey why don't we celebrate with some good food. I know you don't feel your best when you eat recently but let's celebrate still!" Your mom says this hoping you'll feel better "Okay thanks mom."

As your alarm woke you to get ready for school you had gotten started and got up too quickly making you even more dizzy than usual. You chose to ignore this feeling. You got up and washed your face, did some skin care, added makeup, ate breakfast, and finally you got changed. You decided to wear loose baggy grey sweats and a tight fitting baby blue top almost covering your stomach. You put on a zip up black hoodie and grey new balances. It was comfy but cute. You didn't feel well but you had missed enough school. You asked your mom for a ride since you were too dizzy to walk. You got to school just in time and you had texted your friends that you decided to go today. You had missed your friends and if you were being honest you had missed school. You did your best to keep up with schoolwork so you weren't too worried about that. As you walked to meet up with your friends you couldn't help to think if you were getting stares or if it was your imagination. If it was the first option you told yourself that it was because you had been gone for a while. As you walked you saw on of your friends Danielle in the spot where she had told you to meet her at. She was busy on her phone so you decided to sneak up on her and tap her on the shoulder.

"Oh geez- Y/n!!!! I've missed you! How have you been? What have you been up to? Where did you get that shirt? How do you feel? What did that doctor say?"

She was just as bubbly as ever.

"Woahh slow down once question at a time."

You said through small giggles as she pulled you into a hug which made you a bit dizzier since it was a quick movement. You hugged her back happily though.

"I've missed you too Danielle your texts always made me feel better. I've been doing okay, I haven't been up to much, I think I got this shirt thrifting, I feel the same but luckily the doctor said I don't have anything."

Danielle laughed at how you answered all her questions and she pulled you in once again for a tighter hug.

"I'm so glad you're okay! All of us were worried but it was nothing luckily!!!"

You gave her a smile which she happily returned back.

"Where's the rest of them? I thought they would be here already."

You asked

"I see hanni walking up to us right now and jay and Jake are on their way."

Right as she finished her sentence you turned and you saw Hanni. She quickly rushed over and hugged you tightly you of course hugged her back.

"Y/nnnnnnnnnn!!!! You're here finally!!! How are you feeling?" "I've missed you too Hanni, and I feel the same sadly but the doctor told me I'm good!" "That's great y/n!!!"

She finally lets you go. Her happy expression turns into annoyance when she realizes that jay and Jake aren't there.

" where are the guys? Class is about to start and they aren't gonna greet y/n? There gonna get jumped if they don't show up soon."

You and Danielle giggle at her joke but once it dies down jay and Jake show up.

"Finally" murmurs Hanni. Jake attacks you with a hug whilst practically yelling your name and even lifts you up causing you to get pretty dizzy and Hanni scolds him for doing so and as he calms down he dabs you as if he didn't just squeeze you so tight you probably would have turned purple if hanni didn't stop him. Jay dabs you up but then pulls you into a hug.

"How have you been y/n we've all missed you!." Jay says as he has you in a comfy hug and you answer as he lets you go.

"I'm doing good jay, y'know I have forgotten to ask you all how you guys are feeling?" You let out a giggle since they are all so worried about you but you forgot to be polite and ask them in return. "We've all been bored and we've looked forward to you coming back, Hanni has been leaving me for during lunch for some club leaving me alone with dumb and dumber." Danielle says that whole rolling her eyes teasingly towards Hanni. "Yeah yeah we're not that bad to sit with." Argued Jake. "We should probably head to class now the bells about to ring." Jay says to try to get his friends to be punctual for once.

Your first class of the day was Math, luckily you had Jay and Hanni in that class. When you and your friends walked in all together your teacher greeted your friends and when she had finally seen you she welcomed you back to class. Class was boring as ever not like you were paying attention since you had a major headache, and nausea.You had Jay and Hanni to get you through it. You dreaded your next class. It was Physical education. P.e. If you were a normal healthy person you wouldn't mind but you walking up the stairs made you want to take a long nap and never wake up. Once class was over you walked down the halls with Hanni. You thanked whoever put you in the same p.e class as Danielle. What made it even worse was that you had to go outside for p.e today. Once Hanni saw Danielle you guys waved and she walked you up to her and said her goodbyes. You greeted Danielle

"If you don't feel well enough just tell the teacher." Danielle said it with much concern.

"Nah I'll be okay I think."

You were infact not okay

As you and Danielle walked to where your teacher was Danielle had climbed up onto a cement bench something you guys always did so you did the same. She continued walking and she hoped off, but vision started getting blurry. It's fine you reassured yourself.

It was infact not fine

Especially when some dumb boy had thrown a football a little too hard. If this was any normal day you would have acted like it didn't really hurt. But it wasn't a normal day. You had a massive headache, and you were incredibly dizzy. After the ball had hit you your vision started getting dark and you fell to the ground In Front of your whole class you passed out. Last thing you heard was Danielle calling for help.

Dawg I did nawt mean for this to be so so very long.