#also the whole scary future thing will work it self out

[b-abydoll]

Now that I am 26, looking back at 14,15,16 I can tell you that everything really does get better. You’ll learn to take care of yourself, you’ll become the person you needed back then. Strong, and happy, and for those times when you can’t handle it yourself you’ll have found some really great people that show up when you need someone to lean on.

[precure1ove]

scary movies

summary : since Halloween is up and coming you suggest watching a horror movie to celebrate the holiday. some boys are more than willing to participate while others would rather not

characters : all dorms, rsa, event characters + grim

warnings : ortho & grim ARE PLATONIC!!, horror movie plots but it isn't described much?? ,no staff

a/n : i was super duper drained 2 write actual fics and i wanted to do a kind of scary sleepover w characters but this will do 4 halloween

He acts brave, he sort of succeeds;

When you first brought up the idea of a movie night , he is esactic at first until you messaged him about the movie. out of all the ones you had to pick the scariest one, did you even look at the ratings someone nearly died after watching it!

But this boy didn't want to embarrass himself in front of you? how pathetic would it seem to ask to change the movie because he was too wimpy? not him so of course he'll agree to the movie after working up the courage and researching everything he knows about the horror film. it won't scare him if he knows what's going to happen…right?

During the movie he stays strong and is quick to brush away his fear and brag about how “stupid” this movie looks, he's thankful his act despite him being the only to flinch at every jumpscare and grip onto you with every muscle he has, and …is his eyes watering at a certain death scene? no, oh well…at least he got to be close to you.

Riddle . Cater . Jack . Silver . Epel . Jamil

He acts brave, he fails

Like the previous one, he tries to act all cool in front of you while cursing his future self for not showing up in time and warning him about agreeing to this. He puts so much energy into researching the movie and learning when every jumpscare is too prepare himself.

While watching the movie he is gripping onto you tightly, still putting all his power into acting cool. That's until the first jumpscare of the movie pops up, you both instantly go to hold each other. it gets worse from there, the fact you could simply pause the movie has gone over both your heads as you scream and shout profanities at the horror film.

Afterwards you both hadn't noticed the film has ended, jumping at every creak and shiver. You suggest watching children suited movies to which he hastily agreed to.

Ace . Deuce . Sebek . Kalim. Idia . Grim . Neige

He acts unbothered, he hates it

He didn't know what he was getting into when he agreed to watching a horror movie with you. His experiences with them were all low budget mysterious that couldn't show any proper horror ... .not whatever you put on that night.

Still he acts like it's nothing he had never seen before, he didn't flinch the whole time and was that a yawn?? After the movie ends he seems more close to you and surprisingly cautious, was that also a slight crease in your clothes from when he gripped on too tight?

This boy won't be able to sleep much afterwards, and he blames you for it so don't mind if he uses that as a sort of leverage on you later.

Trey . Ruggie . Rollo . Vil . Silver . Azul . Leona

He acts unbothered, he criticizes it

This boy couldn't be more happier that you invited him out for a movie night, oh, a horror movie, how fun! He enjoys a little thrill here and there and what better than a horror movie to do the job?

As the movie plays, he is instant to show his distaste for it, not because of any jumpscares or gory bits but the fact that it's all wrong? things like, that girl can't have run that long, she got her leg snapped in two, the slasher has horrible motives and is picking the wrong victims, it gets more and more worrying when he starts ranting about what he would do if he was the killer.

you are quick to pause the movie after that comment and suggest something else to watch, shuffling over the couch a bit as you do.

Jade . Ortho . Skully . Rook . Lilia

He enjoys it, you stay away from him

As you propose the movie night to him he is overjoyed at the possibility of spending more time with you, a horror movie you wanted to see? wonderful, he enjoys them very much.

He is very insistent on you cuddling up next to him on the couch, keeping an arm around you while the movie starts to play.

This boy has not flinched once. He watches the movie with a smile on his face that seems to increase more as the screams of terror get louder and louder. The only time that smile is disturbed is when either a lucky victim escapes for a short while or it's the final girl, a frown is quick to happen when those scenes play out.

You try to subtly move out of his arms, a sense of unease from how he reacted to the film but he is quick to reclaim his spot on you and hold you tighter this time. You regret ever suggesting a horror film.

Malleus . Lilia . Floyd . Jade. Skully . Rook . Chen’ya

likes & reblogs appreciated

masterlist⠀ — ⠀ request here

[chrollogy]

ii. JUST ME & YOU

miya atsumu x f!reader

── next: iii. Honeyed gaze | series masterlist

synopsis: You spend time with Atsumu exploring the heart of Shizuoka—from the local convenience store, all the way to Sumpu Castle ruins; and while the two of you are alone, Atsumu can’t help but ask a question that’s been weighing his mind.

chapter content warning: college au, fluff!!!, slight angst, implied alcohol use (briefly mentioned), mutual pining (reader & tsumu are so down bad for each other it hurts), miscommunication, requited unrequited love, slow burn, poor depiction of shizuoka city, not beta read.

word count: 3.6k

notes: divider: cafekitsune. hehehehe more tsumu & reader content !!

“Anyone notice the weird tension between those two or is it just me?” Suna shuddered, rubbing his gloved hands together in hopes for extra warmth.

Shizuoka wasn’t graced by deep snowfall but the afternoon temperatures still dipped low enough to have locals dressing thick enough to brave the winter breeze.

The brunette recounted the moment in the hotel lobby where he found the two of you situated side-by-side on the couch, looking rather on edge—the slight bounce of Atsumu’s leg, and the way you nibbled on your bottom lip.

Osamu snickered, cheeks blanketed with a tinge of pink from the iciness of the city,

“Maybe yer jus’ imaginin’ things.”

Clearly it was a sarcastic remark, his tone dripped with irony that it—almost—eerily sounded like Atsumu. For a brief moment, Suna thought so too, and did a quick, discreet glance at his friend just to make sure it was the correct twin. Being a nonchalant character, Suna had developed a habit of looking up from his phone whenever one of the Miya twins spoke just to make sure he wasn’t conversing with the wrong one—the twins loved to play that prank.

“Best not ta interfere whatever is goin’ on between ‘em. They’ll sort it out like mature adults.” Kita spoke up, tucking his hands inside his pocket. Curious as he was at the odd situation between the both of you, he didn’t want to meddle—it was something you and Atsumu had to deal with, alone.

Mature adults, huh.

Two options. Your mind came up with two options to choose from, albeit, not really sensible:

1. Stay holed up in your own room for the whole three hours, and steer absolutely clear from Miya Atsumu, and that weird look on his stupidly handsome face.

Or

2. Leave the shared suite to explore the heart of Shizuoka on your own, leaving him all alone.

But, there was a secret, third option: Face this situation like a mature adult, and act like civilised people for goodness sake.

Your mind scolded you—or was that your heart?

“. . Yeah, guess so.” You awkwardly cleared your throat, tugging at the ends of the fluffy cerulean fabric wrapped around your neck. The room was way too quiet, each mocking tick of the ivory wall clock filling the growing void between you and Atsumu.

“So. .” “Hm . . ?”

The blonde shifted his weight from one leg to the other, caramel gaze never leaving your own.

“What do ya feel like doin’?” He continued, a hint of unsureness in his tone.

Atsumu was rarely unsure but he didn’t know when he had started questioning every single action he did when it came to conversing with you—it almost felt like the blonde was walking on eggshells, not because he was afraid of your reaction but the fact that in his mind, he seemed like he was bothering you even if he knew he wasn’t.

It’s scary to think how one’s mind worked absolute wonders to not only self sabotage but also to re-think one’s actions, especially if it involved love.

The day Miya Atsumu realised his feelings transitioned into something deeper—unlike you—he welcomed it with open arms, and no regrets; as if he was able to foresee what the future held, the blonde knew this would eventually happen, and he accepted it in a heartbeat despite being fully aware of the fact that his feelings may not be reciprocated.

It was a rather quick realisation.

Naturally, whenever Atsumu’s admirers approached after a match to congratulate him, he’d bask in their endless strings of praises, effectively inflating his ego, and pride as a volleyball player. It became second nature to him at this point—hands on hips, honeyed eyes closed, head nodding along to every single word thrown his way.

But after a particular game back in third-year highschool, it didn’t feel the same anymore. Atsumu’s ego, and pride didn’t blossom inside his chest, no sense of accomplishment engulfed his body despite the high praises—inside one ear, and out the other. He didn’t pay attention nor relished it for even a second because all he needed after a tiring game was your validation, and praise.

Atsumu didn’t just need it, he yearned for it, and didn’t dare question what his heart wanted. Instead, he came into terms with the enclosed beast inside his ribcage, the feeling of uncertainty looming behind his back like a fox waiting to pounce.

“Mhm. Not too sure, you?”

You replied, awkwardly stretching your arms above your head, feigning calmness. In reality, your heart pounded like crazy, praying it wasn’t loud enough for him to hear it.

For a split second, Atsumu thought keeping to yourselves might be the best option for now but the idea dissipated as quickly as it formed—he wasn’t about to chicken out. At the end of the day, your friendship came way before he developed these stupid feelings for you.

So he thought of a different idea,

“How ‘bout we explore a bit? Y’ down for that?” Atsumu really hoped that you’d say yes to him—in every sense of the word—because it’d been quite a while since the two of you spent alone time together, and he missed the good old days where feelings didn’t complicate the situation. Not to mention your strange actions as of late, albeit subtle, Atsumu was one to always notice a slight shift in a person’s behaviour—especially when directed towards him.

Oh, he’s noticed the way you slightly held back from conversing or even standing next to him—the hesitancy laced in every action, each a careful, calculated move as if navigating through a field of mines. It raised concern in Atsumu’s mind; what if you somehow found out he loves you more than a friend, and distance was your humble way of showing him you didn’t feel the same?

He hoped that wasn’t the case. Atsumu held onto the fact that maybe you liked him back too, and it was your way of navigating through those feelings. Safe to say, it raised a question in the back of his mind but that was for later.

“Sure. I don’t feel like staying holed in here, anyway.” Liar. That was the first idea you thought of.

Atsumu could almost jump for joy when you agreed but instead, he shot you a warm smile, deliberately ignoring the way his heartbeat picked up as soon as you nodded; he could already imagine the two of you falling into a step along the chilly streets of Shizuoka as the sun slowly dipped into the horizon—hues of oranges, and pinks decorating the winter sky.

Okay, maybe, the first thing you thought of was to help your poor heart, and avoid Atsumu until dinner but that didn’t mean you were immune to him—who were you to turn down the opportunity of getting some alone time with him? As scary as it sounded, you found yourself looking forward to it.

Engulfed by the cold afternoon breeze, you shuddered, burying the bottom half of your face beneath the azure scarf wrapped around your neck as you fell into a step with Atsumu, the hotel’s automatic glass doors closing behind the two of you.

The latter instinctively moved closer at your response to the cold—clothed arm brushing against your own.

You didn’t say anything nor moved away, instead, you let him come closer—raging butterflies in your stomach, and a thundering heartbeat made itself known.

If anything, the small gesture put Atsumu’s heart at ease.

Today’s destination for the next few hours was Sumpu Castle—after some thoughtful decision with Atsumu—paired with a little pitstop to a local convenience for some much needed sweet treat.

Despite the dropping temperatures of the late afternoon, the blonde next to you had made his ice cream cravings known. Truthfully, he’s so lovesick that even walking next to you had his body burning with unspeakable emotions, thus the need for a cold treat.

After returning a polite greeting to the clerk, Atsumu beelined for the self-service ice cream, a hint of urgency laced in every step, determination engraved in his caramel eyes. It made you chuckle a bit, clearly oblivious to the reason.

“You should put more.” You spoke, watching the way the vanilla soft serve swirled onto the paper cup Atsumu held, the other hand carefully pulling onto the lever.

The latter looked over his shoulder, honeyed eyes tinged with slight tease as he found your gaze, “It’s priced by weight, ya know. Why? Ya wanna share this with me?” A slight smirk painted his handsome face, and boy was that enough to render you speechless.

Just the thought of sharing an ice cream with Atsumu made you all warm inside. There may or may not have been an imaginary scene in your mind where the blonde happily gives you a scoop from his own spoon—god, you felt dizzy.

It took all your willpower to keep the corners of your lips in check, making sure they didn’t curl up at his words.

“No, I meant. .” You trailed off, voice dissipating into the thin winter air, wracking one’s brain to find any appropriate sentence that came into mind—one that didn’t peek into the untouched emotions you had for Atsumu.

The blonde let out a velvety laugh, brows shooting up in amusement at your flustered form. Adorable as always. He didn’t say anything else, instead, he turned back around to decorate the ice cold treat with toppings, lightly humming to the faint music of the convenience store.

On the other hand, you stood rooted on the spot—mentally facepalming, unsure as to what even brought about the sentence earlier.

With the awkward situation forgotten, you and Atsumu were en route to Sumpu Castle—of course, he didn’t live it down for the first few minutes, asking if you wanted some ice cream with that teasing look on his face,

“Sure ya don’t want any? Seemed like ya were really eyein’ it back at the store.” You playfully rolled your eyes in response, gaze lingering a little too long on the spoon he held.

As tempting as it sounded, you held yourself back.

The two of you walked along the streets of Shizuoka in silence, occasional hums from the blonde next to you as he relished the saccharine soft serve melting on his tongue.

The only difference now was it wasn’t as awkward as your mind thought it would be—the silence was comfortable.

Blending into the quotidian noises of the city as each step neared the destination; the low hum of cars passing by, distant conversations of the locals, birds singing atop leafless trees—you let it comfortably engulf your senses.

It was silly to think how love blinded you in ways you couldn’t comprehend, most importantly, forgetting the fact that Atsumu was still your close friend. The friend who didn’t hesitate to console you after your first bad grade in university, the friend who listened to all your rants, the friend who accompanied you in the library whenever he had time.

Love had twisted your perception so much to the point where you were almost running away from Atsumu, ignoring your platonic history together. It was silly, really, and this little moment between the two of you made you realise how foolishly blind you’ve been acting.

But then again, it was a double-edged sword. If you let yourself get too comfortable with Atsumu, you’d possibly end up with a broken heart. On the other hand, if you distanced yourself too much, it’d heavily strain the friendship.

Which risk you were willing to take was something you’ve been pondering.

Sounds of Atsumu’s laughter filled your ears, it pulled you out of trance, the city’s noises muted, as if left far, far behind.

“Samu and I didn’t even go ahead with the plan but we got a heck of a scoldin’ from Kita!” You looked to the side, watching as the blonde tipped his head back to let out a hearty laugh, reminiscing the old highschool days. The low afternoon sun casted a golden shadow on his side profile, illuminating his caramel eyes, and flaxen strands.

The citrine glow gently traced Atsumu’s features—from his thick brows, all the way down to his rosy lips, and everything in between. For a brief moment, you envied the winter sun for brazenly kissing every bit of his face before you ever could.

You subtly shook your head, snapping out of it before your gaze fell on the corner of his mouth, a smudge of ice cream lightly coating it.

“You have a bit of ice cream here.”

Atsumu raised his brows, watching you point at the corner of your mouth, a hint of amusement in your gaze.

The former darted out his tongue, lightly licking at the spot in hopes to wipe it away. You watched for a few seconds as he struggled to reach the spot, a small smile forming on your lips—Atsumu looked absolutely silly but you’d have to admit, he was still devastatingly handsome.

Sighing, you grabbed the serviette—that he got from the convenience store—tucked between his fingers, and angled his face before your own, mere inches apart. Both hands absentmindedly cupped Atsumu’s jaw, gaze fixated on his mouth as you carefully wiped the ice cream off his face.

The blonde froze, his jaw taut beneath your hands. You were close, too damn close that you took up his field of view—not that he was complaining. It felt like time slowed down, and he could only hear his short breaths, and thumping heart; Atsumu watched your gaze beneath your lashes, the way your lips pursed in concentration.

As you pulled away, everything suddenly came back to him—the soft murmurs of Shizuoka, the wintry breeze, the cup in his hand.

He let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, a puff of ivory mist clouding his view for a second as he composed himself—or at least tried to. Your searing touch lingered on Atsumu, he could almost blindly trace an outline of your hands from where they were a few seconds ago.

A clear of his throat sliced through the growing silence before he muttered a small ‘Thanks’. You could only nod in response, not trusting your voice.

The rest of the walk turned a bit awkward but thankfully not for long as the castle grounds came into view, earning gasps of awe from the both of you—the ice cream incident long forgotten, and Atsumu’s finished cup thrown in the bin.

The historic ivory walls, and coal-black Kawara tiles was definitely a sight to see—greeted with a wooden bridge situated atop still waters that led to the Higashi Gomon Gate.

After paying for the admission fee, you and Atsumu didn’t hesitate to explore the castle grounds—you were greeted with snippets of Shizuoka’s great history; the statue of the honoured retired shogun, replicas of his armour, and clips & information about the castle’s materials.

Soon, you found yourselves outside, surrounded in vast winter greeneries, a lake situated in the middle of it all. Despite being in the middle of winter, Momijiyama garden was unique for its seasonal displays—endless trees filled with hues of pinks, and reds from camellias decorated the traditional garden.

Atsumu glanced sideways at you, eyes sparkling with awe as you scanned the entirety of the serene place. Your expressions were infectious, a small smile forming on his face as he stared at you longer.

“D’ya want a picture? I don’t mind takin’ some. ‘M no Suna but I’ll try m’best.” The blonde offered, jutting his arms out for your phone.

You hesitated for a bit before giving him the device. Sure, there were no problems when it came to posing for pictures, it was the fact that Atsumu was the one taking them.

The latter positioned himself to get the best possible view of the garden—all of a sudden, you didn’t know how to smile naturally; everything felt stiff, and awkward.

He let out a hearty laugh, honeyed eyes glued to your miniature form on the screen. You looked awkward as hell but Atsumu found it absolutely adorable.

“W-what? Why are you laughing?” You let out a huff before turning away, trying to cover yourself from any more photos, clearly flustered at his sudden reaction.

“Ah, hey, don’t go hidin’ yer face now! I was jus’ tryna make you smile.” Atsumu waved a dismissive hand, a big smile plastered on his handsome face as he kept taking photos.

You shook your head and posed accordingly, ignoring the fact that your heart hammered on your chest, and the way Atsumu’s smile widened in your cooperation—caramel eyes sparkling with adoration.

After a few more clicks, a much needed rest was due. The two of you sat on a bench near the lake—Atsumu scanned the view before him while you mindlessly scrolled on your phone, checking the photos taken mere minutes ago. Most of the photos were of you looking away, clearly camera shy, and stiff but ones that caught your eye were pictures of you smiling at the camera—at Atsumu.

The expressions on your face were genuine, and relaxed. You took a mental note to post those ones later.

The time spent with Atsumu enlightened your heart a bit, it made you realise that he was still your friend despite the way your chest tightened around him—that it was unfair for him to be cluelessly met with distance from your end. After all, you weren’t teenagers anymore.

Something had been weighing heavily in the back of Atsumu’s mind, and he didn’t know how to bring it about. The blonde stared at the mixed hues of green before him, as if looking to the trees would somehow tell him how to start the conversation.

Ah, fuck it. “So, how’s it goin’ with that special someone?”

Looking up from your phone, you furrowed your brows, wracking your brain for context—ah, right. One drunken night, after a particularly dreadful exam, you’d accidentally told Atsumu about having feelings for a certain someone. You thanked the heavens that you didn’t start name-dropping but it got the latter way too curious for your liking—little did he know, that was about him.

“Hm? Ah, you know . . Same old same old.” Your heart raced, wishing he didn’t pry any further. Atsumu noticed the way you fiddled with your fingers, so he remained silent, an invitation to either let the topic drop or carry it on at your own will.

“I do have this crazy idea, though . .”

A whisper, enough for Atsumu to hear. He nodded, all ears, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous. “I’ll probably confess to him with rejection in mind. I know he doesn’t have feelings . . Plus, I’m doing myself a favour so I can finally move on.” You let out a puff of ivory mist, heart weighing heavy at the thought of rejection.

Rejection from the very man who sat next to you.

Atsumu slowly nodded, trying his best to comprehend your thoughts. He’s never heard of that before—confessing just to move on from one’s feelings. Usually, when one confessed, they had a relationship in mind. He opened his mouth, not really knowing why or how this question came to be,

“Hypothetically, what if they say they like ya back?” Atsumu angled his torso towards you, a strange glint in his honeyed eyes as he met your gaze—was it desperation? Curiosity? You’d never know.

“Mhm. I don’t know. I don’t even think I’m ready for a relationship.” “So . . yer jus’ gonna confess for the sake of movin’ on? Even if he likes ya back?”

You nod. What a liar.

It was far more complicated, really. Sure, it would’ve been easy to have feelings if it was some random stranger from a lecture but this was Miya Atsumu you were talking about—a close friend you’ve grown to love platonically, and romantically. Just the mere fact of confessing could strain the friendship, so you had to tread very carefully.

Even if it meant selling yourself short.

The possibility of having your feelings reciprocated weren’t exactly zero to none but you also didn’t know if getting into a relationship with Atsumu was something you should be doing. In all honesty, you were scared shitless.

Atsumu nodded once again. He took a mental note of your words, not knowing what to make of it.

The walk to the restaurant was silent—the sun fully dipped into the horizon, leaving hues of blues, and pinks in the winter sky of Shizuoka City. Warm lights slowly filled the darkening streets as locals began heading home, some opting to eat dinner out.

Atsumu seemed to be eerily quiet, and in deep thought for the duration of the walk. You, on the other hand, were busy conversing with Suna on the phone—who had been asking your whereabouts. You chalked it up to tiredness since you all had an early morning, and explored nonstop.

“An’ here I thought ya both got lost on the way.” Osamu waved the two of you over. The three of them stood just outside the restaurant, patiently waiting in the cold. “Ya could’ve jus’ went inside ya know.” Atsumu snickered.

The five of you were ushered to a booth, conversations of today filled your ears as Osamu filled his brother in about the bike tour with occasional photos shown by Suna.

Atsumu was the first to slide into the booth, his gaze met your own for a brief moment. You saw that as an invitation to sit next to him but as you were mere seconds from doing so, he spoke up, patting the wooden bench beneath—ignoring the way you looked at him.

“Suna, come sit ‘ere. I wanna see more of yer photos from the tour.”

Oh.

Sliding next to Kita on the opposite bench—followed by Osamu—you awkwardly cleared your throat, a very weird feeling settling deep in your chest after the odd encounter; your skin prickled in embarrassment.

Surely it was nothing—you hoped it was nothing but somehow, you didn’t believe yourself.

—

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tags: @ushijimaschubbs @tsumudoll @starlitsawamura @littlemiyastars @h3art-ablaz3 @eggyrocks @integers @rrosiitas @food8me @schelamski @honeytwo @nyaaa-cat

© chrollogy 2024 | don’t plagiarise, repost or steal my header.

[melodtreads]

What you should leave behing and blindly go into? ~ PICK A PILE

PILE 1

You are stuck on a rigid path that you have followed your whole life. And the reason you are stuck here is because it is secure. Everything is planned out perfectly and goes by the book. It is a sure way to success. But is it what you really want? Of course, you do want success, but your soul will never stop wondering about the what ifs. And you also know that trying other paths means giving up on the security that you have right now. You can’t balance both of them. It is okay for you to venture around. It is scary, since despite your curiosity, you are not quite sure about what you actually want. On the same page, you don’t see those things quite as they are, they are still a dream to you and we all like to put rose colored glasses on our dreams. But the cards also push you to jump into the uknown. It will be a situation of trial and failure, but it will also be the way to the happiest version of yourself. All these trials will open your eyes to your true and self and make you revalue everything that you have known.

PILE 2

You have been having financial problems recently. You do have enough money to go by, but it is just that. Your job provides you just enough to survive. Despite the fact that you would want more, you are scared of leaving what you have right now. This job is easy for you, you know everyhting about it that there is to know, and if you were to go for something bigger, you would either have to work way harder or put yourself financially at risk (some of you would like to open their own business), which to be fair, it doesn’t sound that appealing. But you will be stuck here forever if you don’t do anything. Go for the risk. I am not promising you fields with flowers, but it needs to be done if you want to have more than just enough. It will be hard. You will sometimes feel overworked and some days you will feel stuck, almost regreting your decisions. But this is what it need to be done to achieve that greater future. This is the first step to you succcess. Go for it.

PILE 3

I know that our generation is all about doing what feels right to you, but that message is not for you. You have been doing what you want your whole life. And yes, you sometimes are right about what you are doing, but that’s it. Only sometimes. You are self-sabotaging at this point. Your actions are going against your higher self. And the only reason behind your actions is “it is what I wanted”. Well, I am sorry to break it to you, but what you want is not always what you need. You will never go further just by doing what you feel like doing. Start doing the uncomfortable and the unwanted. If you don’t know something, learn it. It is never too late for that. If the thing looks boring, find the motivation to do it. Learn some discipline. Learn to listen to your head in raport to your heart.

PILE 4

Your life is great, you are living the dream. You are doing what you want, you are accomplishing each of your wishes. It seems that you are also travelling a lot. You have seen many things and have been to all kinds of different places. Although this life is great for you, maybe it is time to start settling down. I am not saying that you should leave everything behind and stay in one place. But there will be a point in your life when you will just want to relax at your place in your own comfort zone. You should start investing into that place. All the things that you are doing now are great, but they are not forever. And again, I am not saying you will give them up, but you will want them less at one point. Having a settlement already yours will be perfect for when that time comes.

PILE 5

You have been going through a path of transformation lately. And this may be because it feels like nothing is going right for you and it has been stressing you out. You work for something, you put all of your sweat into it and when you are about to receive all your rewards, everything ends up getting ruined, as if the universe keeps giving you lessons to toughen you up. But have you ever wondered if maybe you are trying to take too much control over the situation. Learn to let go of the things that you can’t control (especially if you have a lot of 8 house placements in your birth chart). You will only get your rewards when you will let things that are meant for you happen to you. Surrender, learn to trust the universe. Know that it will always have your back and will always lead you to your best future, no matter how the present looks. Don’t force things to move your way. Move with the things.

PILE 6

It seems that you have a habit of moving from connection to connection. You find someone, you seem to click, and just before you allow things to go deeper, you leave. Are you one of those people who stop being attracted to the person as soon as the chase stops? Even if you are the one stopping the conncection most of the time, you still find foolish reasons to why you left, like “he wasn’t tall enough”, or “she watches only comedy shows”. You should put more effort if you want a genuine connection. Know that you getting a partner doesn’t mean people coming and trying to fit your standards (which are most likely there just because you are afraid of commitment and not because you actually care about those things). Getting a partner is you getting to know someone and embracing as they are just as you want them to do with you. They are a person just like you. Start looking for things that you like in them and stick to them no matter how uncomfortable it feels. This is not me saying that if you do that, you will have the perfection relationship and nothing will go wrong. It is me saying that even if something happens, accept that it wasn’t because you are unworthy. A lot of them may leave no matter how much effort you put into the realtionship. But one of them will be the perfect person for you, who is just right. And you will miss mess if you keep doing what you are doing.

[kadytimberfox]

okay first of all I think that was one of the best fucking cutscenes I've ever seen in destiny. this is easily the best that the post-TFS Episodes cutscene style has ever looked to me -- the sort of stone statuesque Fikrul raising the Echo like a war banner on the prow of his ketch is just...seared into my brain now, I can't get it out.

I had a suspicion but I'm absolutely certain now that the Echo is searching specifically for the Kell of Kells. that's fairly surface-level textual at this point. the prophecy has been brought up far too many times now for it to not mean anything. "it seeks an old strength. strength to guide the scattered through a time of doubt and wrath." I mean come on!! it CAN'T be anything else!!

I love that the Echo has become this Excalibur-like narrative macguffin for the Eliksni, that this thing is going to choose their future leader just by virtue of the sheer power it bestows.

and the twist -- that it's decided that Fikrul, its first stab at crowning King Arthur, was a mistake, that it's rejected him and is seeking someone more worthy -- I mean that's just good writing.

Also the fact that Fikrul singlehandedly threw the entire Vanguard, House Light, and House Salvation into a crisis and THEN the Echo decided "nah, this guy ain't shit, I'm over him, let's try someone else"? like if you get this into the hands of someone actually capable of wielding it, that person is going to be REALLY scary! it's Raising The Narrative Stakes 101 in a way that's made the story instantly more engaging.

at this point I can't see this episode wrapping up any other way than the Echo chooses Mithrax, who is completely corrupted by the combination of the Echo and Nezarec, Eido and Eramis have to work together to save him, Eramis earns enough goodwill that she's allowed to go free, Mithrax becomes a good benevolent Kell of Kells, everyone is happy, the end.

which would be a pretty good way for this to go honestly! I'd be satisfied with that story.

my last little bit here, just for fun, is What Is The Name Of This Echo? if Maya's was the Echo of Command, my personal submission is the Echo of Memory, just because it seems really hell-bent on the whole Eliksni Messiah "Reaching Across Ten Thousand Stars With Ten Thousand Arms" thing.

also it sang an old song and brought up bad memories for basically everyone who encountered it. Crow remembering Uldren, Variks remembering the Reef Wars and the person he used to be as the Warden of the Prison of Elders (literally arguing with his past self!! apologizing to the Guardian for how sadistic and self-centered the Warden AI is!!).

so many fun little narrative crumbs for me to pick over in this act!! I'm very excited to see more.

[iterationofaphoenix]

Mobile Suit Gundam

Mobile Suit Gundam is a fascinating anime to go over for this class. This is because not only does it have popularity which far outreaches the basic anime-sphere, but it also discusses so many difficult topics. It is an anime which I feel can be taken very much at face value because of its popularity. The themes that it is trying to convey might be ignored. That being said it had extraordinarily deep themes to portray. Most notably was the horrors of war and the dangers of technology. These two themes make it fit in very well with previous anime that we have touched upon.

To begin, it shows the horrors of war and how they affect everyone. It is not simply the soldiers in the war nor is it simply the civilians. This shows a view very different than both Grave of the Fireflies and Barefoot Gen. These both solely show what is happening to the citizens in the regions within a war. They do not explain why a war is happening, just show the aftermath. While this is an important aspect of a war to look at, it leads for people to ignore the greater issues that have taken place within the society. MSG does not allow one to do this as it provides a focus on the war itself. It does not use real events, like the aforementioned movies, but it provides a realistic future example to show its point. This could be said that it provides viewers the opportunity to see the damage a war can do from a wider scope as a whole. This includes the soldiers, who are oftentimes victims just as much as civilians. Although they are fighting, they are placed as a pawn in the war. Being a pawn doesn't automatically mean the player doesn't have any care for the individuals lives, instead it merely states there are forces greater than the pawns purview at work. Regardless of this fact, the large scope of MSG provides a unique perspective on the ideas of war, doing so in a manner that is easier for a viewer to watch.

The second major theme I would like to tackle is the development of dangerous technology. The fact that they are able to use these large Mobile Suits means they have a much higher capability of causing major damage. They have the means to destroy the world. This development of technology shows something very real within our own world. The greater we advance the easier it is for us to destroy ourselves. This is something which I believe is shown throughout MSG. The idea that we have the capability to destroy ourselves is scary and oftentimes difficult to think about. Taking it into this alternate universe/future makes it easier to handle this idea. That being said, it doesn't make it less true. I feel as though this idea can be connected with the use of the bombs in the previous movies, or even what happened during Shin Sekai Yori. This dystopian world or ideal is easy to reach with the means they had in SSY and it is similar here in MSG. What this shows is the fact there is many ways to reach a dystopian future and technology is one mean to get there.

Finally, my opinion on this anime was that it was very good. I felt a lot of nostalgia from this anime, it also brought me back to a very good memory of mine with my parents. My family is full of rather nerdy people and we play an assortment of games. My dad and brother are very invested in Warhammer 40k (also a great connection you can bring in with Gundam and the dystopian nature of society). Regardless, I do enjoy it, but not nearly as into it. So, my dad brought me to the Gundam Base at Megacon 2024 and I picked out one to build so I could sit with them at the table while they worked more on their armies. I know this isn't really related, but I wanted to include it in my self reflection of this anime because it is important to consider all of the emotions it invokes. MSG as an anime brings out the concept of a lot of fears and worries which would be easy to become real. That being said, it is important to find the hope in things. While it isn't directly connected, I feel like connection to people and family is vital. I feel like this is something MSG does show. Overall, I really enjoyed this viewing!

[jujutsustraycats]

Hey ish! Your school would be starting in a few days and here a few things I wish someone told me when I was about to start my journey for 11th! Some of these might apply to you too even though the paths I have and you will be taking are completely different.

Next 2 years are gonna teach you a lot. They'll put you through the highest of high and lowest of lows. They'll change you as a person. They'll teach you so much about life (and also how people can be). Things would get overwhelming at times. You wouldn't understand what the fuck is going on at times. A lot of times you'd be left confused and hurt and alone for both, academic and non academic reasons. Also, you'd get a lot of career advice so you need to know how to filter out the useless ones! The best way to check authenticity can be reflect on the achievements of the one giving advice.

Even though your classmates might be in the same stream, you'll realise that everyone has a different story and that, in the worst ways possible too. There'd be times when it'd feel like none of your peers understand your visions and aim for future, there'd be times you wouldn't have a buddy to chat about your life philosophies with who also has the same opinions as yours (but remember to not give up on people as a whole okay? You'd find people you vibe with at the end of the day, you just have to be bold enough to put yourself out there!)

There'd be also times you might end up severely over worked and sleep deprived (but make sure not to drink so much coffee that your hands and shaking and your heart is beating so fast that your body goes into fight and flight mode thinking you're having panic attack lol). You know ish, these 2 years might completely make you or break you, but remember to not give up despite whatever situations you might end up in.

I personally was a several-Olympiad-gold-medalist kinda overachiever till 10th (even in 11th lol, i didn't sit for it in 12th because my priorities changed. And I overlooked it, don't do that. Celebrate your smallest wins and remember to appreciate yourself for the smallest milestones or you'll end up severely burnt out. It has happened to me twice over the span of last 4 years till now.) But even I ended up seeing the greatest academic downfall i ever had in front of my eyes at many times during these 2 years. And you should know that it's okay. A lot of people are going to be tough on you but try your hardest not to be one of them. Being kind to oneself can be difficult but try your best okay? And you said you are a perfectionist aren't you? Take care little dove.

I've seen a lot in these two years too. A lot of your academic experience also depends on what kind of teachers you get and me, personally, oh my teachers were pos and sadists. They'd bully me for the most stupid reasons (haha losers. You said i wouldn't be able to do it? Well. fuck y'all ✨ [you'd have to learn to be indifferent at times and not let their or anyone else's words get through you. Learn to develop a strong self belief.]) and I seriously hope you get better teachers.

But oh ish not every elder is bad, you'll get some amazing teachers whom you'd never want to break ties with. Hold on to them! okay? You'd also get really amazing friends who you'd know are going to last a lifetime and would be there for you in your toughest times. Hold on to them as well! Some bastards are too good to let go. Ha!

And also, in return, remember to be kind to your peers because you don't know what they might be going through (not to scare you but I had 2 of my friends who'd almost commit suicide, so yeah it can get scary for both, you and them at times but remember to heal them with your love and support. It's an age you all need each other!)

It's gonna be fun, full of lessons, scary, exciting and adventurous at the same time. You'd hate it sometimes and you'd love it sometimes, but despite all MASTI NAHI RUKNI CHAHIE!!! You won't ever get these 2 years back so make sure you don't walk out without making some amazing memories!! Vandalise stuff, copy the sign of principal to escape the school, bunk the classes (to study or not, your choice) have deepest conversations and most light hearted jokes and banters the exact other day, sleep in the class, eat from under the bench, give impromptu speeches on seminars and farewells, break rules....whatever ish. Whatever gets your heart pumping and adrenaline rushing. Because while it's the starting of peak years of your career, you should remember to be a human and have fun at times too. It's okay. It's normal. It's needed. One shouldn't be guilty about it.

Getting less than perfect marks on a few tests isn't gonna harm you as much as you think it will. The ones who love you will continue to love you. The ones who admire you will continue to admire you. The ones who support you will continue to support you.

Baki, main hun idhar hi ❤️ kabhi bhi kuch problem ho toh AA Jana apni badi behen se advice lene, I'll try my best to help you out. As I said the other day, the pain and trauma these 2 years have put me through has only served to make me more empathetic and protective of my juniors so if you come to me with loads of rants i won't say cliché things like "Stay strong". I'd first and foremost listen to you and simply that. I'd listen to you for as long as you want me to. Because sometimes you'd simply just wanna be heard ❤️

I'll try my best to be there for you! If nobody got you, I do! Remember that, okay? ✨

... Dear gods, I don't even know what to say. You made me cry. Like, tears actually sprung up in my eyes. Happy ones, though. Don't worry too much.

I'm not one for physical affection but I would've hugged you so hard if I were there. Thank you. This genuinely made my day.

[liauditore]

Heya! If you feel like it, you had mentioned in the Gem Scott and Etho minor plot doodles post that people could ask about some characters from your traffic x arcane au, so...

I request a small blurb (or however much you feel like talking about) for 1-3 of the following characters' roles in/from your au:

Skizz, Ren, Cleo, Pearl, any one of the non-lifer hermits.

This can totally come after Joel (or not at all), but figured I'd prompt! It seems like a fun au, and its fun to look at au characters and why they are the way they are.

yessss of course!!

two other ppl asked about pearl right after I posted that so I'll be drawing her next and skipping out on talking about her for now. I think I ended up making her role a little too packed in my head anyway so it might be good for me to think a bit more before I commit to anything.

I have no idea how to content warning this so. The usual arcane themes (gang violence, sex work, drug use, etc) under the cut.

Skizz is an enforcer, inspired by the poe poe thing on Hermitcraft right now lol. He's his usual lovable oaf self, very much the local "Mr Policeman" all the Piltie kids think is fun and cool. However he is still an enforcer and from time to time will do scary stuff, like share work stories where he's injured and killed civilians and laugh the whole way through. Despite his reputation as a meat-head, he's got quite a few friends in academia, including this AU's Tango and Impulse. I imagine that if this was a fic/show we'd see him the most from Jimmy's POV, since this AU's Jimmy is a Zaunite academy student and that would make him and Skizz's relationship. Nuanced, I think, is the word to use.

Ren I'll be honest I initially thought about as a joke but it stuck. He's a failed proto-Warwick who got the wolf features and super strength and so on but is also just some guy. Most people just assume he's Vastayan. He has no memories of his life pre-experimentation but he's also pretty happy with where he is, since he gets a ticket to topside via working for Cleo.

Cleo is the topsider referenced in Scott's post. When she was young, Cleo tried to help a revolutionary group of Zaunites, which lead to the deaths of many Piltovans including her family. Driven by a desperate need to right what she's done, Cleo becomes a councilor with a desire to improve people's lives her way this time. She makes frequent trips down to Zaun and it's on one of these trips when she meets a young Scott, who she sees herself in. Scott's betrayal of his group of friends was very much his own doing, but Cleo definitely made him more comfortable doing it and afterwards provided him with the resources necessary to become a chem-baron. Through him, she believes she's earned some control over Zaun and she wholeheartedly believes Scott's leadership will lead to a better future.

As for the non-lifer hermits, there are a few I've thought about!

Beef is a pretty well-established chem-baron who runs casinos in both Zaun and Piltover. He's originally from Noxus and met Etho during the Noxian-Ionian invasion, despite the rough start the two have since become friends and he's the reason Etho ends up in Zaun in this AU at all. He claims he's retired from his days of battle, but those who have crossed him know he still packs a punch.

Zedaph isn't exactly a chem-baron but a Zaunite menace regardless. Known for his love of puzzles and messing with chemicals other people are too scared to look in the direction of, he plays a similar role to Singed when it comes with supplying Shimmer and gadgets to anyone who pays him enough for it. Despite his shady past (and present) he ends up endearing himself to Impulse, Tango and Skizz and ends up being more or less adopted into their group.

Doc is very similar to Viktor in the pre-Arcane lore. The children of Zaun tell scary stories about him and the bunker he lives in, daring eachother to go in as tests of courage. Doc himself isn't exactly the dangerous sort, though, just very grumpy and dramatic. He has a passion for all things technology and spends the majority of his days making synthetic limbs, weapons and other gadgetry. He hates the chem-barons and their goons can pry his tech from his cold, dead hands if they want a piece. Luckily for Doc, his reputation and Vastayan appearance frighten potential extortioners away.

False is pretty much just ESMP False. The sisters' father was a Piltovan merchant, their mother a Zaunite prostitute. The older False ("our" False, technically), is a retired enforcer now taken over her father's business. She campaigns for peace between the cities, but also further militarization of Piltover in response to increasingly violent attempts at revolution by Zaun and potentially hostile forces like Noxus. The younger False (ESMP False) spends her days stealing her twin sister's identity for various nefarious purposes -- many of which involve her job as a hitman, one of the few in Zaun that can get close to Pilties others can't lay a finger on. The sisters are estranged and the older False denies the younger's mere existence, in fears it would destroy her life if people found out. Both are good friends with Ren and he hasn't figured out that they're two different people yet.

Skizz and Cleo I will definitely explore more in the future, the rest are more or less world building and side plots.

[karma-simp]

I hate assassination classroom so I've been redesigning it

(That's my Ao3 which has all of my Karma x reader fics). Also TW! I have photos of my drawings in here and my phone quality is soooooo bad.

Don't get me wrong, I've been obsessing over assassination classroom since September 2020 (4 years). But like... the writing is so bad! Like Yusei Matsui, you had some very good ideas and concepts, but you were so bad at communicating them. It has taken over 3 years of analysis to understand even basic ideas

Like your main character, Shiota Nagisa is kinda badly written. His talent isn't bloodlust, it's deception. He appears weak and fragile but is actually a violent killer. He's observant but unnoticeable, so he fades into the background. His character arc is supposed to be finding himself, his way, and his self confidence.

Oh and there are so many 'jokes' made that aren't funny or things that are overlooked like I don't think there is a single good parent in that show except Karasuma. I mean Miss Bitch kissing the students isn't okay, the feminising Nagisa jokes aren't funny and honestly, I don't even like Korosensei anymore. Also Terasaka told Nagisa to kill himself and we never came back to it (or the actual suicide itself).

I mean sure, Korosensei does a lot for those kids, but he just comes off as more of a 'fun' teacher that plays games in class and is always there to talk to but he just seems unprofessional. I mean he's a goddamn mass murderer for god's sake. His backstory took ages for me to understand. Like wah wah, he has to die, cool story bro. I get a backstory every anime (or episode if your demon slayer) so I have no sympathy. But I guess I am a 'greater good' lover so whatever.

Also don't even think to bring up Karma. I mean my username is Karmas-wife, so I am not just his defender, I'm his lawyer. The civil war arc is so out of character for him and so is him teasing Nagisa about being girly after finding about his mum. Sure he might seem like an asshole, but that's the mask, that's what he wants you to think. But he's kind and protective, he's not egotistical. He defends his classmates and friends time and time again. I want to see so much more of him. His anger, fighting prowess, leadership, vulnerability and healing.

Also, the deuteragonist should be Sugino, not Karma. Sugino is Nagisa's best friend, he's literally attached to Nagisa's side, and if I were to ask Nagisa who his best friend was, he would say Sugino. I kinda don't like him because he wouldn't like Karma but I understand that's a bias.

So all of this has made me want need to rewrite assassination classroom. I mean there's a whole lot of angst in the themes that just doesn't translate. Honestly, the show probably would be more memorable and of better quality if it was 3 seasons.

So here are some of my redesigns of characters

Protagonist: Shiota Nagisa

He starts off seemingly timid, quite and oblivious. To try and make up for his insecurity of being useless, Nagisa takes notes of Korosenei's weaknesses, attempts that work, strengths of his classmates and possible future attempts (in a bigger book). He's surprisingly calm under pressure, like when executing assassination attempts. Scarily so. This initially doesn't seem very scary until it combines with his hidden bloodlust. He enjoys the dominance that killing someone provides. Little bit by bit, the little moments of scariness begin to bleed through. Until Kayano shows Nagisa how to conceal himself better, making himself scarier. He wishes for the confidence that Sugino has. Used to be friends with Karma, but now Nagisa really only asks Karma for help because he's kind afraid of Karma. He originally thinks he should be an assassin because it's 'the only thing he's good at' until he starts teaching. The he realises he likes helping people grow more. Also, his talent is deception/ disguising himself, not bloodlust.

Deuteragonist/ Best Friend: Tomohito Sugino

The common sense/ brain cell holder (the only normal person in 3-E). Dad friend who feels very concerned for Nagisa and (rightfully) weary of Karma. Doesn't really see a lot that goes on but is very honest and down to earth (good contrast for airheaded Nagisa). Although he isn't very muscly, he is strong and courageous, like a classic hero. Can be quite simple. Has a crush on Kazaki, likes basketball/ sports and the ten million yen bounty.

Main love interest/ main girl: Kaede Kayano Akari Yukimura

After losing her sister, she infiltrates the E-Calss under a fake name. She eggerates her love of pudding and pretends to be a bubbly airhead. She befriends Nagisa to hide herself then helps him find himself to do this. Later, she reveals herself and after her unsuccessful assassination attempt, she reintroduces herself. The classmates get to know the real her: more mature, determined, fierce, serious but still social and more aware of people than they though. She gains a crush on Nagisa for his steadiness and his emotional intelligence (and kissing ability).

Classmate/ Ex-Friend: Karma Akabane

Used to be friends with Nagisa but got weary of his dark side. An aggressive/ intimidating fighter with a bad reputation of getting into fights (with people that deserved it) like his fight (with a bully) that put him in the E-Class. Doesn't often interact with his classmates as he scares them. He doesn't see any reason to care about grades, them, or himself). Has issues with authority (after betrayal from teacher and being abandoned by parents). Learns to care and put effort into things after being adopted cared for by Karasuma. This makes him go from a bossy shadow to a decisive leader and gives him awareness of others.

Secondary Love interest: Rio Nakamura

Popular jokester who knows (and tells) all the gossip. Similar to Miss Bitch: confident, snarky, headstrong and attention-seeking. Likes Nagisa because he doesn't stand up to her so is 'easy to control.' She loses interest when he does eventually stand up to her. Smarter than she lets on and doesn't want to tell the class to keep her popularity. When she shows how smart she actually is, she loses friends and forces them to come back.

Classmate /Class Clown: Maehara Hiroto

Childish class clown that lives off the words 'no homo' and laughs at fart jokes. Isogai's best friend. He always has a girlfriend and in the very short time in between them he's super depressed because he's scared of being alone. Laughs to hide the pain. Charismatic, attractive and surprisingly loyal. Notices the little things. Romantic and funny so the girls are all over him but he's just a teeny bit afraid of commitment.

Classmate: Manami Okuda

Chemistry girly. Likes easy observations, formulae, and studies of things/ chemicals/ matter. Words/ people are too complicated and she's very unaware of double/ hidden meanings of things due to being very solitary. After being taken advantage of by friends, she gives up on trying. Then she meets Kayano and Kanzaki who work around it. Then Karma and Korosensei teach her how to understand people and why it's important, making her better at communication. Very blunt and straightforward. Horrible liar/ actress.

Classmate/ Bully: Ryoma Terasaka

Bully that uses his strength as power over others/ gets others to do his dirty work. After it doesn't work and he drops to the E-Class, then is put down by his friends for it and sees the effect on Nagisa and the class, he grows up and starts to take responsibility for his actions. Then, he starts listening to others and following their lead. The class might joke about him being a dumbass (which he is) but he does a lot of growing and learns to genuinely care for others, rather than hurt them. Also has common sense but no other smarts.

So there's part 1 of redesigns. Thank you for reading.

[etirabys]

on email

I put off wedding planning with the expectation that I would do a terrible but functional job once deadline urgency kicked in. This has started to happen. One consequence is that I have (probably but hopefully not temporarily) had to become a timely emailer.

The impetus was procrastinating on clicking a link in an email that it turned out I should have read ideally acted upon immediately. This is an embarrassing but characteristic mistake – my habit with emails is to open them, get a fast (and sometimes wrong) impression of the contents, have the emotion of not wanting to deal with it, and marking it as unread. I do this with a lot of non-email messages across all platforms, too, with the result that I drop a lot of messages that I forget to or can't mark as unread again.

I knew perfectly well what a loathsome creature I am to do this, but Willpower did not work.

I've been much faster with all messages in the past week and will describe what I understand of the change, so that it will hopefully persist.

(A prerequisite: for many years I have unsubscribed from, filtered, or blocked unwelcome senders. I try not to give out my email address for any reward greater than $20.)

i. I had to radically accept that I am tired and stupid most of the time.

Radical acceptance is a concept from mindfulness / dialectical behavioral therapy, and mostly means the opposite of "trying to believe something that isn't true". It means understanding and accepting your actual circumstances without flinching from them, and acting in a way that actually achieves your goals in those circumstances.

So it turns out – in some part because my expectations for myself haven't adjusted from my pre-burnout days when I had more energy and a better memory – that I put off things because "I can tell I'm dumb right now, and if I try to book this flight I'll probably double-book myself even if I check my calendar three times, and I should do this when I'm more awake." Or "I shouldn't resume this conversation about an art commission, because I don't feel all here today and I'm probably going to mess up the conversation". Or, of course, "I shouldn't make this decision the wedding planner is asking me about right now, because I'll make the wrong one."

While there is variance in my mental abilities depending sleep and time of day and so forth, I almost never pass the bar of cognitive competence I implicitly set for making these decisions. So if I keep the bar where it is, I'm never going to get anything done.

I have to radically accept that I am (compared to when I was younger) tired and stupid all the time, and I still need to live my life. I need to double-book myself and then pay $20 to reschedule my flight, arrange for a tasting with a caterer that doesn't meet a desideratum my spouse told me about, join a reading group I'm too busy for and then leave, get on a call that I forgot to do research for beforehand... etc.

And: I have to respond to emails and messages approximately as soon as I see them, because "my future self who will make informed decisions about things I cannot" is an illusion.

ii. Conversely, I should never check messages when I'm not prepared to make respond to arbitrary textual stimuli.

I used to check my email or messages when I was bored. This makes no sense! The contents of my email inbox are determined by the decisions of a large number of other people, and could contain anything. It is this variance that makes this addictive, and it is also this variance that makes it important to read it when I have the wherewithal to react appropriately.

I don't want to keep training myself into being the kind of person who repeatedly clicks and unreads a scary medical bill email. To stop that behavior, I want to have a mindset of "if one of my emails is a scary medical bill email, I am willing to read the whole thing, think about it, and take the appropriate next action" whenever I am about to navigate to my inbox.

The same goes for clicking into Discord or Messenger, because I need a similar presence of mind to react to invitations to high-effort social events, requests for help I may not be able to give, requests for information I need to think about before providing, etc.

The important thing is to not mix actionables with entertainment. I need mental separation between those two, because perceiving personal pings as a subset of social media notifications made me treat them more passively. "Oh, huh, a decision to join a Paradise Lost reading group is on TV. Interesting. Now an ad..."

---

I expect to backslide on my improved response rate/quality once I'm done with the wedding, but hopefully writing the above will act as the strut of a dam.

[anns-works]

Ok so i've got something that yall would probably hate me for. But ive been holding this simmering pot of angst for a while and the first thing i was taught is to share, so suffer with me.

New ROTTMNT AU:

Rather than being the only one out of his brothers to survive in the no-good-very-bad-horrible future, Leo is the only brother who dies.

Okay okay okay.

But i personally like to think that after the krang come out everything goes to shit in the bad timeline everyone goes oh fuck and start teaming up right? Human yokai cryptids mutants– none of that matters as long as you got eachothers back.

And after the initial stumbles the brothers start their active participation in the resistance.

Heres the thing.

Leo is genuinly terrifying at coming up with a plan. Kid went toe to toe with motherfucking Big Mama and came out victorious. Big Mama, as if the most terrifying yokai crime boss Big Mama. Kid came out with a smile. Its safe to say his strategies were incredibly effective and it kinda pissed off a couple of people.

Military dude 1: I can't believe i'm following a plan made by a 16 yo mutanat turtle.

Military dude 2: Your just upset the kid called out all the flaws your plan had in less than 2 seconds flat.

But the one pissed off the most were the krang. This tiny insignificant insect was able to somehow keep the resistance 3 steps ahead. So naturally, they went to take him down first.

It took a while but eventually they managed to isolate Leo. His brothers were fighting up a storm but the krang got too much and so they had to leave. Without Leo.

About a week later which involved a lot of crying and screaming, the krang brodacast a live footage of torturing Leo (my boi) before krangyfying (did i spell that right) him.

And now the krang have leo on their side. Leo, who knows everything there is to know abt the resistance (hes a gossipy bitch but thats only cuz its important to have the intel) so they are in deep shit now.

And he was a zombie for a while guys. Fighting against him always had people dying and his fam having a mental breakdown.

Eventually they take him down, but at what cost. (One of the brothers killed him. cuz angst. And now the question is who is the MOST angst) Also, Leo is the first person to die in the resistance. (Ouch)

Casey rools up and has no fucking clue who Leo is (ouch) or why his mom wanted him to take up the role as Casey's dad (HC: Cass took one look at tge record of Leo's victories against his brothers in the lair games, strategy skills and medical knowledge; and declared that he would be Casey jr.'s father. Leo was incredibly touched)

But for some reason. For soME FUCKING REASON. Kid is so much like Leo its scary. His family is near tears everytime they see him act like that. That one time he made a shitty pun and Donnie started crying.

Well its probably due to the blue imaginary friend he has that he calls Bluey. Yes we're going towards that direction. His everything comes from being influenced by the cool older brother figure he has as an imaginary friend. (Cuz of ✨Mystic Shenanigans✨ Bluey is still stuck here. Mikey is the only one who can also see him. But he cant. Cuz hes depressed)

Also without Mr. A-Ninja's-Greatest-Weapon-Is-Hope I feel like shit gets really depressing in the resistance. Everyones sad. Baby casey is sad to see everyone sad. So he asks Bluey's help and picks up his general style of humor. Angst shenanigans.

And. AND. AND. During the whole peepaws time travel back after the movie montage (I am a aimple woman w/ simple need) these depressed hunks see this tiny version of their blue brother still covered in bandages and not fully healed from the krangvasion, and their immediete reaction? Protecc.

Leo is confused abt a lot of things. The future version of his brothers that got spat out of nowhere. Casey and how that worked w/ their Casey. The blue projection of HIS angsty future self (who is pretty cool btw). PTSD. You know, the works. At this point my guy is just vibing, and honestly? The story picks up a pretty chill pace from there. Its all abt healing now baby.

So thats the rough outline of the au. And it might sound like a fucking add but heres more abt this silly little idea that came from my silly little head. -> You'll (Never) Never Be Alone

[sillymaxing]

I just found your blog and your writing is SO good omg

May I request platonic yandere future tord with a younger sibling reader?

RAHHHH FIRST SELF INSERT OF THIS BLOG LETS GOOOO!!!!

Platonic Yandere Tord & Younger sibling reader part 1

Gender Neutral reader

Btw, this is kinda like prologue. You don’t actually meet Tord in this part. I PROMISE IM WORKING ON THE NEXT PART. This just started feeling way too long for me.

You were born 8 years after Tord was born.

Growing up with him was filled with bickering, but also a scary undying loyalty from his end.

God, you wish you could go back in time and relive those days. He was your go-to for almost everything. Your best friend.

He moved out to search for apartments when he was 21. You were just about 13 at the time.

House after house, apartment after apartment, Tord had trouble getting on his feet. But throughout your teenage years you stayed in contact. You two stayed very close.

Until one day, when you were turning 18, All of Tord’s social medias seemed to just disappear. You had decided to reach out to him, blowing up his phone, but he never responded. You asked his roommates what happened.

They said he just left in a hurry. He packed his things and was gone.

For a long time you obsessed over finding him. You gave up after a few years.

You moved out when you were 20, able to find your own apartment and get on your feet relatively easily.

You had never forgotten about your brother. The way he abandoned you. Left everything behind.

You knew he wasn’t kidnapped. He obviously took the time and effort to wipe himself off the face of the internet.

And sure, you cried and screamed and threw a fit for a while, but eventually you decided to put it behind you.

Plus, all that is the least of your worries when you start to notice a car outside of your apartment. Tinted windows. You couldn’t see inside. It would park on your street and stay there.

For the next week things felt off. The whole town seemed tense. You would occasionally see strangely dressed figures lurking around town in blue trench coats.

Eventually, someone got out of the car. And they came to your door.

It was a man with an upside-down name tag, you could barely make it out.

He explained to you that your brother wanted to see you. Tord wanted to see you. He explained that you could go willingly or go fighting.

A part of you was curious, but this was certainly an odd way of reaching out. You didn’t trust it.

But still, you complied. Plus, this dude was carrying a gun.

He told you to pack your things. Personal items and any medication. He explained that all toiletries, clothing and food would be covered by Tord.

Something twisted in your gut. Something was wrong. Something told you that you weren’t gonna see this place again.

While packing, you decided to call the cops. The phone call didn’t go through. Actually, nothing seemed to go through to anyone. You tried to reach out for help, but all your communications were seemingly cut.

The man seemed to notice these attempts, but didn’t say anything.

After about 20 minutes, he was ushering you into the backseat of the car. There was another man in the driver’s seat.

He looked serious and mean. Cold. He didn’t even give you a glance.

It was a long drive, and any questions you asked were just met with silence. You tried to open up your door at one point, but it was locked. Child safety or whatever.

Eventually you pass out. It gets late, and you’re just being driven on empty roads.

Of course, eventually you do end up at the Red Army base.

And it isn’t likely that you’ll be leaving anytime soon.

[piinktearxs]

my own team free will caregiver headcannons

okay so its like my first like fanfic ish thing on here, but we need, more agere spn fics cause, lets be honest, big ol comfort show

anywho the little in the dynamic is munchkin (yours truly) she's very fem-oriented, so I'm sorry if it doesn't suit you BUT I could consider becoming like a fanfic blog in the future (like taking requests and all)

quick warnings: the nicknames daddy, dada and dae are used cause Ik some ppl are uncomfy w that, small body image issues mention, small arfid mention

okay so I'm feeling a 'three men and a little lady' vibe here because that is exactly what it is like, you got these three big guns beer and like not soft-looking guys and then you have munchkin, this 5'3, pink dresses wearing little lady and she's just vibing with them

munchkin is not a 24/7 little, like she has her essence which is very child like but her little self just comes in waves, and like she comforts and cares for the boys when they need, they take care and comfort her when her emotions get too big and she goes small

munchkin takes turns to be the "official stuffie" for the boys (or that's what they tell her so she feels wanted and needed with her cuddles, and she is to be honest) one night she sleeps cuddled between dean and cas and the other one with sam

THEY HAVE A NIGHT ROUTINE; So she brushes her teeth and does skincare with Sam, then Dean sings her one of her special songs (Little willow, angeles, city grown willow, calico skies, forever, surfer girl, hey jude, blackbird, stairway to heaven, to be honest hearing her daddies's voices is the most calming thing for her) Cas and Sam take turns to read her a story (literally anything classic fairy tales or pink and ballet vibes, munchkin adores)

THEIR CLOSET DIFFERENCES PLS- like you would have the boys's flannel and jeans and basic t-shirts and right next to those these pink dresses and vintage clothes (also munchkin's big girl clothes but it's the same vibe, vintage girly)

When munchkin is small, she wears the boys's clothes cause they smell like them and they're huge on her so they make her feel small

munckin has a lot of sensory issues with food, especially when she's small, so she and Dean work out creative ways to get her veggies in but that she doesn't hate them

When she's scared she goes to her daddies, like literally with anything, they are her heroes and the people she trusts most

It always helps her to hold one her daddies's hand when she's doing something scary (like eating a new food, or talking about her feelings, or petting a big dog!)

She's their little buddy on everything they do, cause she's just so amazed by her daddies, Dean's fixing baby? Munchkin will be next to him, handing him tools and hanging out with him, Sam's reading? She's plopped next to him reading her own book, Cas is taking a walk through nature? Pink rainboots on and coat on (sammy said so) and she's on her merry way, also, they always stay out for hours just admiring nature

She adores cooking, she's always ready to be their little helper in the kitchen (but never near hot or sharp things!! She’s much too small!! She likes cracking eggs and being the taste tester anyways)

When they're on hunts she always comes with (and ofc helps out unless she is small) and after they all go to a county fair or a petting zoo

On the bunker she has her little trunk, obviously painted white with little pink roses and it contains her little stuff, paci, teether, sippy, some tutus, coloring books, tiaras, her tea set, and a doll that looks like her that she carries around everywhere

on the impala she has a little emergency box, with a lovey, some calico critters and a teether and snacks!

She always hosts tea parties with the boys (yes, they wear crowns and drink tea with her and her dolls) at first they were a bit weird about the whole tea party thing (Dean said he hated them and now he even does a british accent when they play tea party) but got around in the end

She is a polite little one, always using her manners, because princesses use their manners

Her drawings always go up in the fridge ofc

okay now onto individual headcanons

Dean aka Dada or Bean:

When he first met munchkin he was a little distant but then grew to love her

he gave her the nickname munchkin

their relationship is like uncle jesse and michelle in full house (fight me they’re literally the same person and my comfort characters)

He is always watching old kids shows with her (she loves vintage things and the're nostalgic to him) especially old scooby doo episodes

Pretends he is like in shock when she hugs him but honestly he feels as much comfort in her as she has in him

always gives her eskimo kisses

they once saw the scooby snacks at the store and got them and went nuts over them

she sometimes is too small to watch scooby doo so they put on bluey

dean actually quite enjoys bluey

Teaches her how to do stuff like fix things or play pool and they have a lil bonding moment

She's allowed in the dean-cave and she loves to color while watching cartoons on the big TV!

He gives her ALL the piggy back rides, and throws her in the air to catch her after

If he's drinking beer outside, alone, she always goes up to him and lays her head on his lap, and they just hang together in comfortable silence while he strokes her hair with his beer-free hand

He's super into the fighting scenes in her princess movies

They try a slice of pie of every diner they eat at, and rate it

They love cooking together

He’s honestly the more fun caregiver but also the most protective one

When she’s having a bad day he always takes her out for ice cream, if she really reallyyy wants to, he goes the extra mile to get her gelato

Munchkin sometimes has body image issues, when she does dean just picks her up and kisses her forehead

Dean teaches her all his cool rock songs!!

“You see sweetheart, bon jovi rocks, on occasion, but zeppelin? zeppelin always rocks” “what about taylor swift dada?” “she is the music industry so she always rocks too”

She is allowed to pick the music even when not driving (munchkin is a huge swiftie, and well we all know all too well dean is too)

Sam aka Daddy or Sammy

He is the king of rules and sticker charts, and they help keep munchkin on track a lot!!

After she eats a fear food sammy always has some candy for her in the pantry!!

he makes sure she gets her protein in, she can’t get low blood sugar!!

He gives her big big biiig bear hugs all the time

Given but, munchkin is totally allowed to do sammy’s hair!!! No scissors though!!

He loves having a little hair buddy, so when she’s really small he helps her wash her hair

He brushes her hair for her, it’s a little bonding moment between the two

Can we talk about how bath-time is a whole ritual for these two? They put on her littlespace playlist and dance around while brushing their teeth

If they’re away from home he reads her a bit of the game of thrones kindle he has in his phone until she falls asleep

KING of forehead kisses

Definitely gets into the life lesson aspect of EVERYTHING, she’s watching charlie and lola? lola hates tomatoes? (munchkin does too, they’re her mortal enemy) he pauses the show to tell her the importance of eating new foods. She’s watching moana and moana goes into the deep part of the sea alone? He reminds her that she needs to go with one of her daddies when she’s small

He always helps her with stuff she’s too short for

*munchkin climbing on the counter to reach her gummies* “No pumpkin, you can’t climb on the counter to reach the high cupboard, here, let me help you”

He carries her around A LOT

When she’s really small she likes to sit on his lap and fidget with his hair

If he’s late researching and not in bed for story time she always goes up to him and lays down near until he’s finished

When she’s big they go to the gym and lift weights and running, or go in nature walks, when she’s small they go play catch in the park together or go in the swings, as long as they’re both happy and healthy he’s okay with going out for a bit more

Definitely the type to give her a time out and then talk it out

cas aka dae or casseel

he was definitely very confused when he heard that she was a regressor, but not in a bad way, he’s just confused with most earth things!!

sammy knew about the topic (he researched a bit more because he suspected that munchkin was a regressor) and when he explained it to him, cas got it

he’s the one that’s away the most doing angel business, but he makes sure to check in on her at bedtime

when he is home, he’s her official nap buddy, she finds him so comforting and loves napping with him

they definitely go on tons of walks and, ANNNND they stop to analyze every new flower and mushroom!! (munchkin isn’t allowed to touch them though)

munchkin finds dean and cas’s relationship the most adorable thing ever, she’s a huge romantic because cmon, you are if you watch cinderella every other week, so when they kiss she’s always like “a true love’s kiss!!!”

he heals ALL the ouchies, but she still gets a fun bandaid

she asks cas if he has magic rapunzel hair when he heals her or the boys

she sometimes wears his trench coat and plays pretend in it

or when it’s cold and she wants to sleep in the impala, he lets her use it as a blanket

he’s always down to watch disney movies, since they’re new to him!!

“but little one, why must cinderella go home at 12? why are the mice horses? why a pumpkin and not an apple or a zucchini??” “dunno, magic stuff dae, but ‘ook there!!! her dress pretty!!!!!”

tells her stories from the whole existence of the world

she gives him butterfly kisses on the nose (the ones where you bat your eyelashes on the other person’s skin)

he helps her tie the ribbons on her dresses

so that is it for my personal supernatural headcanons, i quite enjoyed writing these so i’m definitely making this for my mcu au!! i know there’s not much spn agere fics (cmon we ALL go and search spn agere and check for new fics) so if you liked this feel free to send me an ask whether that be from this au or reader insert one shots typa things :D

[echosong-87]

Branch telling Viva that sinfoni village is the safes places

one rock apocalypse later

Viva: mmmh so the sweetest place

It is a safe place!! Well as safe as he could provide…. Branch made sure of it, as well as the whole territory… cause every night when all goes to sleep he would fly around and watch over and guard the lands…. Making sure all goes to bed/stays inside…. Cause that’s where he teaches/trains his spiders to guard, protect, and sit at Vidal to make sure other dangers is out of the kingdom(again this is an idea)

Plus this will be a trigger sorta thing!! I dunno how to put it in warning!!😓😓😓

And yeah!!… he also forgot to tell Viva and Clay that he has an army of pet spiders that arrange from small, itty bitty, fits into your hands…. To the “holy shit!! That’s a big spider!!” To the “It’s the size of me!?!” And “what the hell are you feeding them?! Steroids!?!” Big.. XD

Poor Clay and few other Putt-Putt trolls were a bit… shock/terrified/horrified about learning that…. Viva would be angry to learn that she wasn’t informed by Branch.

But leading to the one rock apocalypse… Branch did had weird future vision dreams; and was afraid thinking that those warnings of the rock invasion were him being a crazed monster… so trusting Viva and Clay he went and gave them a scary request.

The request is him asking them that if at one point in time… that he does become corrupt in any way shape or form.. (a foreshadowing to the zombie berserk).. that he wishes for Clay or Viva to end him if he ever does become corrupted… the two would ask him and Branch would say simply… for power of a leader is so greatly achieved and sought for…. through many years of knowledge and wisdom… it can be tainted… even the greatest of those before Branch’s time… fell short due to the darkness of their own flaws/wickedness.… one is never too careful… and as for Branch having achieved such power, strength, and might… he fears that it’ll be his own downfall…. And if he does go within that path… he wants to be sure to never harm an innocent life… of that be the case of his life ending he would… just how he would point out to Viva the same for herself, for Clay and the Putt-Putt tribe that the two had created.

Branch is also in a mental state of depression… but he does not know it… nor knew of its sickness creeping in at him throughout of the years…. He just kept himself busy with whatever work he saw… and kept pushing through… both neglecting himself… his happiness… and most times his wellbeing…. So after him going berserk or breaking free from it thanks to Poppy and many…. His mental health just went bad as ever.

There is no self harm!! Nor anything like it!! Just again!! it’s all a draft/idea/plot storming

[meirisuu]

decided to indulge in my 14 year old self's obsession with winx next gen ocs and finally design a whole group of them!!

character sheets and descriptions + doodle dump under the cut!

Blaire

21. Daughter of Bloom and Sky. An Alfea graduate, Enchantix fairy, Guardian Fairy of Eraklyon and Heir of Eraklyon's throne. Basically a burnt out overachiever and perfectionist who shouldered everyone's high expectations due to being Bloom's daughter, and had high hopes for the future but is now barely trying to hold things together. She can be a little intimidating and hotheaded, but that's because she's very tired.

She's cordial exes with Luke, Stella and Brandon's son, but they still remained best friends. She's currently dating a wizard named Ike.

Lucian (Luke)

21. Son of Stella and Brandon. Crowned Prince of Solaria who has recently taken on more responsibilities as the de facto new King of Solaria now that he recently came of age—but...he doesn't really want to be called a King quite yet. He's a charming and responsible young man who's inherited his mother's love and passion for fashion, and is a little snobby about it sometimes, much to his friends' chagrin.

He's cordial exes with Blaire, Bloom and Sky's daughter, but they still remained best friends. He's currently single, but there isn't a day where he isn't talking to or seeing someone.

Violet (Vi)

21. Daughter of Flora and Helia. Guardian Fairy of Linphea and a reputable freelance photographer who's a bit too chill for her own good. She can be nonchalant and a bit too cool headed at times it freaks people out, but it's quite handy for her job and hobby as a photographer, requiring precise focus to capture the best photos. She's also a deeply sentimental person, capturing and treasuring all memories of her family and friends through photography.

Maxine (Max)

21 years old, daughter of Musa and Riven. Formerly an Alfea student and a fairy-in-training, but have shifted to Red Fountain to pursue being a Specialist. She turned out to be a skilled prodigy, and now teaches at Red Fountain part time. She's a chill and easygoing person, and is well liked by everyone in the school, even capturing some people's hearts. Despite this, she can also have an explosive temperament if certain buttons are pushed.

On a long term relationship with her former roommate Tesla, Tecna and Timmy's daughter. They go way back, since Alfea.

Riley

20 years old, son of Musa and Riven. He's a quiet and chill guy who's had a bit of a troubled past. He went to Red Fountain alongside his sister but he mostly did it to appease Riven, and has no interest in being a hero, instead preferring to pursue his interest in music. He looks a little scary to some people, and he used to have a notorious reputation, but he's passed that now.

Tesla

21. Daughter of Tecna and Timmy. A gifted tech genius who dropped out of Alfea to defy expectations and pursue her passions, and now works as a reputable robotics engineer in Zenith's government. Her demeanor is generally blunt and sarcastic, which is off-putting for most people, but she mellows out around people she's comfortable with.

On a long term relationship with her former roommate Tesla, Tecna and Timmy's daughter. They go way back, since Alfea.

Amir

21. Son of Aisha and Nabu, and the wizard prince of Andros. A reliable and approachable young man who gets along with everyone, and is actually in talking terms with everyone in the friend group despite the incident. He's also a very physically active person, and despite being a formidable wizard, he still chose to take some combat classes in Red Fountain. Behind his easygoing demeanor is a cunning and strategic mind that should not be underestimated.

--

+ some more doodles about the TxT and MxR kids because can you not tell that tecna and musa are my winx meowmeows

[veliseraptor]

July/August/September Reading Recap

look, it's been a wild time. that's all I'm going to say about it. but now back on the reading recap train and I'm just going to do all of these three months in one go because otherwise I really never will catch up (also read not very much for me in all of these months, individually)

Revolting Prostitutes: The Fight for Sex Worker's Rights by Molly Smith & Juno Mac. I read a lot of books over the last few months that I was kind of "meh" about, but this wasn't one of them. An incredibly nuanced, in-depth and very persuasive analysis of the history and present of sex worker labor rights - neither skewing too far into "sex work is liberatory" nor (obviously) the opposite. The authors consistently approached the subject positing (accurately) that sex work is first and foremost work, and should be approached as such in terms of the goals and needs of rights for sex workers. I already bought into the overall premise of this book, but it still remained compelling and educational for me to read, and I'm going to be recommending it to a lot of people who may be generally liberally-minded but have doubts or hesitations about decriminalization as a strategy that ultimately serves the best interests not just of sex workers but of society at large.

Bloodlands: Europe Between Hitler and Stalin by Timothy Snyder. This was a brutal book to read and I'm glad I read it. I like Timothy Snyder as a historian generally (I've read two of his other books before this one), and I learned a great deal here in particular about Stalin's policies, both in Ukraine and during the war. Some of the ground treaded in this book was familiar to a certain extent from Black Earth, but dug into more and in more depth, particularly prior to World War II itself (i.e. the Holodomor and other associated policies in the Soviet Union). I found the closing parts of the book about the politics of forgetting particularly compelling. Not a casual recommendation but a recommendation nonetheless if you're interested in history and up for the rough ride.

Witch King by Martha Wells. I was...not disappointed by this book, exactly, but a little underwhelmed. I wanted to like it much more than I did. Oddly, while I'm completely in favor of self-contained stories that close in one book, and I definitely liked Kai as a character quite a bit, the whole thing felt sort of rushed, particularly at the end. Everything was tied up a little too neatly, too quickly, for my taste, and in general some of the worldbuilding felt underdeveloped rather than (as I think was probably the intent) intentionally left underexplored in text. All in all, I had high hopes for this one that weren't quite met.

Where the Jews Aren't: The Sad and Absurd Story of Birobidzhan, Russia's Jewish Autonomous Region by Masha Gessen. I love Masha Gessen as a historian and writer and this was a short but intriguing book about an episode of history I knew next to nothing about - namely exactly what the title says on the tin. I'd recommend to anyone who has even a little interest in Jewish history in the Soviet Union in particular, though this one didn't blow me away quite as much as The Future Is History did (but that's a high bar).

From Below by Darcy Coates. Darcy Coates is rapidly becoming a favorite horror writer despite the fact that this is only the second book of hers that I've read. She does scary really, really well and this is some top notch ocean horror. Definitely a book that propelled me through all the way to the end and left me with some truly appalling (affectionate) mental images. Good shit, thanks for the rec @bereft-of-frogs (I believe).

Uncanny Valley by Anna Wiener. The conceit of not naming, just describing the tech companies under consideration in this memoir got a little tired after a while; this was an interesting book but probably would've been more compelling when it came out, before most of what it's exploring was common knowledge. But maybe that's partly because I'm just not really a memoir gal.

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling. Another good horror novel, though I found the ending personally a little bit meh. But I'm really picky about my horror endings, so don't hold that against it. Caving horror is up there with ocean horror as far as subgenres I'm into, and this one did a great job with it. A good blend of visceral horror and psychological horror, though the descriptions of the caving suit were honestly possibly the worst part of it for me.

The Queen's Price by Anne Bishop. As usual the pleasure of reading Anne Bishop is about revisiting my old faves - it's like re-encountering old friends, which was what led me back to rereading the original series. I also did appreciate the rehabilitation of Saetien in this book, who took a beating in the last one that didn't feel altogether fair. I do not, however, know that I can forgive what it did to Wilhelmina Benedict my beloved, whose relationship to Jaenelle was and is very important to me. I don't accept this slander and am choosing to ignore it.

Imagined Life: A Speculative Scientific Journey Among the Exoplanets in Search of Intellgient Aliens, Ice Creatures, and Supergravity Animals by James Trefil & Michael Summers. It was fine and that's honestly about all I have to say about it. Wouldn't recommend it to anyone else.

Hex Wives by Ben Blacker. A fun little detour into a graphic novel about witches-brainwashed-into-suburban-wives that wasn't, ultimately, very good, though I did enjoy the lesbian immortal witches and the revenge fantasy of it all.

Monstress: vols. 1-4 by Marjorie Liu and Sana Takeda. I forgot how fucking good this series is. Reading it all together in trade form, rather than separated out month by month and issue by issue, only makes that even clearer. The way that Marjorie Liu explores monstrosity and outsiderness, the mingled brutality and tenderness of it all...Marjorie Liu is one of my favorite comics writers for a reason and you can feel her passion for this story.

The Black Jewels Trilogy by Anne Bishop. I regret to inform everyone that I still love this series and I probably will not be over it any time soon. I don't know. Sometimes a series that may objectively be not very good just digs into you as an impressionable teenager and then lives inside you in a very particular way forever, and I guess that's what happened here. The second book remains my favorite for the way it's focused on the coven and Lucivar (and their relationships with Jaenelle), which remains my favorite part of this series. I can't in good conscience necessarily recommend it. But I do love the damn thing.

Heaven Official's Blessing: vol. 7 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. Book 5 isn't my favorite section of TGCF, and this part of Book 5 is probably one of the sections I'm least interested in, with the exception of "deal with it yourself" which never fails to knock me out of the fucking park. It is just very important to me. But still, this book remains beloved of me and it's a treat to read regardless (for the fourth time, or whatever it is).

Qiang Jin Jiu by Tang Jiuqing. I keep describing this one as a classical military/political epic with a sprinkling of danmei and I think that's accurate. And that's what I love about it. Dizzyingly complex sometimes, with a large cast of characters and more conspiracies among them than you can shake a stick at, this is a delightful work of historical fiction with bonus gay protagonists, and I actually kind of love that the romance spends a lot of time taking back seat to the political drama. Also side f/f ship and Qi Zhuyin is amazing. Shen Zechuan is so unhinged but in a way it takes you a minute to notice and I love it.

The Pope at War: The Secret History of Pius XII, Mussolini, and Hitler by David Kertzer. This book was deeply infuriating, but in the way it was meant to be, in that it's all about the painful inaction of Pope Pius XII during World War II, and not just that but actively collaborating with both fascist governments in an effort to protect the church. I didn't find it very compellingly written - kind of a drag, if I'm honest - but boy did it make me very mad. The dedication to saving Christian/converted Jews while completely ignoring and doing nothing about the wider persecution was particularly choice.

Tangled Webs by Anne Bishop. Reread; not as good as the main trilogy, in my opinion, though has some fun stuff with Lucivar in particular. Probably suffers for me in that Surreal has never been my favorite, though she doesn't annoy me as much as she used to.

Thousand Autumns: vol. 2 by Meng Xi Shi. My main concern when it comes to this book so far is that it keeps promising me bad-wrong sex and I don't think it's going to give me bad-wrong sex. Or at least bad-wrong kissing, or something. The relationship between Shen Qiao and Yan Wushi is, at this point, a delightful trainwreck, though the larger plot of this book as a whole hasn't really grabbed me. I'm enjoying the read but it's not thus far a book I'd come back and reread later.

Underland: A Deep Time Journey by Robert Macfarlane. More personal story than the science that I was hoping for; it was still interesting, but in my opinion felt a little overwritten in places and definitely suffered in my estimation just for being not quite the right genre for what I was looking for. It was interesting, though, and still delved into some neat stuff along the way; I just didn't need it filtered so much through "one-guy's-journey" as it felt like it was. In general it's a delicate balance for me with books like this (about a writer digging into a subject); if the writer is too present then I start to get impatient, which is probably missing the point.

I'm trying to make October a month of spooky ready (or at least related-to-spooky reading) though we'll see if that continues or if I get distracted.

Reading The Earth Is Weeping might count as horror, anyway, in that it is almost certain to be very upsetting. Also on my shelf from the library are The Language of the Night by Ursula K. Le Guin and Ariadne by Jennifer Saint (whose Electra I read and didn't hate, even liked a little bit). I'm sitting on The Hollow Kind by Andy Davidson and The Death of Jane Lawrence by Caitlin Starling as two horror novels that have been on my shelves for a bit. We'll see what happens.